#me when i really like a character: yeah give that fucker some family issues

[aphicidi0]

Flynn’s life is a tragedy. He had to be the man of the house, as if he was his own father, when he was still being such a son. He just wanted the approval of his father, like any son does. His grief with the emotional loss of Walter in his life was so big to the point of changing his name, he no longer even feels like he can share that with him., and even when he went back to Walter Junior, does that really matter when your father calls you the name of his coworker on your own birthday? Is it really enough when your father only wants his cook-partner with whom he has a strange father-son relationship and not you? Walter White isn’t just a bad parental figure for Jesse, but also to his biological son, subjecting them both to so many things, so many changes, at such a young age and in a ridiculously small amount of time. Flynn ends up ruining his own relationship with his mother in an attempt to connect with his hero, becoming more and more bitter each time, just because he needed his dad's approval, he did absolutely everything in his power, but it was never enough, Walter only wanted Jesse. Flynn couldn’t be the son he wanted, he wasn’t physically able to be him. Can we as fans really take Flynn's trauma as a minor thing?, can we really not think of his life as a tragedy?

[princess-of-the-corner]

Wait a second what are we doing with Lu Ten in Miraculous Gaang?

Is he alive? I know he got like really sick at one point, but are we letting him live? If so, how old is he and what is his relationship to the Gaang? Because I imagine him being quite a bit older and seeing the Gaang as his much younger siblings that he has to mentor. He's probably away at university during most of the events of this, but Zuko and Azula call him in to save their hides for some of their civilian problems. Assuming he's alive

And how did he get sick? Did he like use the peacock or did he just get really ill and it woke Iroh up to the fact that he was being kind of a neglectful parent?

Also, other named kids you can use for miraculous if you want:

Song, the chick that saved Iroh from poisoning, tried to bond with Zuko over being hurt by the fire nation, and then he stole her ostrich horse

June, but she's probably a bit older than the rest of the crowd, maybe even Lu Ten's age.

On Ji, the girl that Aang talks to when he goes to Fire Nation school and consequently gets into a fight with her boyfriend Hide.

Shoji, another kid from the fire nation school, very nervous type.

Chan, the guy that Azula tries to flirt with in The Beach, and then they burn his house down.

Meng, Aunt Wu's assistant who keeps trying to flirt with Aang in The Fortuneteller, and who gets utterly blown off, only to eventually tell Aang at the end of the episode that Katara is really pretty and they deserve each other, and also gives them the cloud-reading book for their plot (because she's been stalking Aang, and HEY that's on brand for ML).

Of this selection, the only ones I have any particular attachments to are Meng and Song. I think I'd give Meng the goat if we keep your usual Dreamwalking powers, due to her fortune teller associations. Song could honestly have any of them, but I'm leaning Dog. But yeah, it's interesting that most of the Gaang's allies seem to be adults. Between the white lotus, various world leaders, and assorted other Randos, the significant adults in this show probably outnumber the significant children.

Yes! So!

We decided that since this is taking place in a Miraculous-esque Universe, a chunk of people get to live. Like, there's no war fucking up the world and we're axing the Bending (like if they had Bending on top of the Miraculous then OOF.) and also this is a modern world with better healthcare capabilities.

So yeah some people live. Lu Ten was never on the frontlines of a war. Kya never had to protect Katara from raiders looking for a Waterbender. Yue won't have to sacrifice herself to save the Moon Spirit, etc.

Not to say everything's perfect because there's going to be injuries and close calls and some of these fuckers can get killed off.

So since I can change things and let characters live, I am!

Anyway. Lu Ten!

So we're going with some kind of car accident type deal for him. He was in a coma for a few months. (During this we had the drama of Iroh falling apart with worry, Azulon 'dying', Ozai taking over the family company, and Ursa disappearing).

He's alive but has some medical problems. Mostly mobility issues. Usually in a wheelchair, though he can use a cane for short distances if needed. His hands are bad too, but he can still get stuff done.

He's a good decade older than the Gaang. Like in his mid-to-late 20s.

Between the age and mobility thing he's probably not getting a Miraculous himself (I mean the mobility isn't stopping Teo but he's the 'I'm gonna use the Miraculous Transformation to give my wheelchair jet rockets and fly' type of guy).

He's very much the older brother figure! Especially once Zuko gets kicked out.

As for the other character suggestions!

June is too old for the group, as much as I love her. Ji, Shoji and Chan never vibed with me. Song vibed with me more but we're also getting to the 'wow huh there's not a lot of kid characters that consistently appear huh?'.

Meng is actually a great idea and I love the Dreamwalker thing I'm keeping that.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

2024 edition of Analysing Ram's fanfic collection! 2022 and 2023 editions are there. A few days late but we're still going strong!

Same disclaimer as before, all the ships I've been into are in there under the readmore and some of them are weird, if you thinks some stuff is freaky (derogatory) you probably don't want to look (especially this year!!). Which is fine, see you another time :)

For those who don't mind freaky stuff, come have fun with me once again as I marry my passion for fandom and simple statistics.

(hopefully this is readable? I had to dezoom a little because I have So Much Fic)

... So this is kind of insane for me.

I got into Daredevil a little after last year's edition, and after a full year and about three intense phases of Being Really Into Daredevil (the TV show, I should say right now. I've been meaning to get into the comics but we're not there yet), you can see that I uh. I liked it! Almost 600 fics, jesus. That's more than any of my other fandoms, and by so far it's not even funny. Clearly it shows when I download every fic I read. To be clear most of that folder is Mattfoggy, self-explanatory and uncontroversial I think.

I also got into Baldur's Gate 3, which is probably my folder with the most gen stuff in it, maybe even including my gen folders. That's because 1) I played the game and romanced someone (I'll give you a guess. I'll give you one fucking guess.) so it felt a little strange reading ship fic for a game when you've played an active role in the story? and 2) because for once there isn't just one ship I'm into. All of these fuckers have so much potential chemistry with everyone else it's kind of wild. You could take any of the main six/eight companions, put them together, and I'd see it! So, genfic, and a fair bit of Bloodpact because I'm extra-compelled by Astarion and Wyll having Issues together and kissing about it. Once again, normal. Note that I did also buy merch for this, because there was cool merch I could actually get! So I have nice stickers and a portkey on top of 200 fics.

Then we enter the Zone Of Shame, the elephant in the room: why does Ram, who spent years of her life deliberately ignoring anything MCU related in any way, shape or form, who actively tried not to know who any of these people were when people told her about it, and who fell asleep before a few of the movies during family movie night, have three folders and about 350 MCU fics on her phone? Why indeed. Well, my best explanation is Daredevil snuck up on me and then I got overtaken by a fever. And now here I am. A changed woman. Scouring blogs from 2012 to get glimpses of what it was like back then.

The two main ships I've been really into are Stucky, because I watched Winter Soldier and I have eyes, though I did kind of hesitate with Stony because yeah I see it, and Thorki, because I watched Thor and I have eyes because I heard it was a thing, got curious, looked into it, and started Seeing It very fast. For about a week I'd watched Thor 1 and I thought, eh, I don't know why everyone was so into this, and then somehow something clicked in my brain I guess?? And then here I am, about three months later, coming out of AO3 searches bloodied and dizzy.

The rest of the changes are minor, I added a class folder for class stuff, a few fics here and there, kept going with Venom and doubled that folder, kept reading porn, planned to read (/actually read!) a few published books, etc. The last notable things are I found like 30 things to add to my misc folder, don't know where, and I somehow got rid of 4 Warrior Cats books? I'm guessing I had duplicates?

In conclusion, this year in fanfic, I read a lot of Mattfoggy, and got really into a beloved fandom classic (Stucky), the most obvious characters I could have gotten into (Astarion and Loki), and a truly "problematic ship" (Thorki). They grow up so fast... Absolutely crazy to me that when I log all the fics I read in a year (and I could have read more!) I end up almost doubling my fanfic folder. I was at 1.7k last year and I added like 1.4k, that was a huge shocker! So many good fics....

(BTW I knew the whoole time I would be insanely into Loki and Tony Stark, and I was Correct. Whatever that kind of character is they're like fucking catnip to me. Immediate blorbo. I need to read more Tony centric stuff but I've been trying not to be so so in love with that guy since I was like 13 so. Hard to break the habit. Astarion is also Like That and as soon as I saw his face I knew and I was once again Correct. I'm predictable.)

This was the 2024 edition of What's Ram Been Reading, it was a delight to have you this year again and it'll be a delight to have you in 2025! Bye bye :)

[inkedmyths]

S2: E6 "No Exit"

Brought to you by I'M SORRY I KEEP FORGETTING TO POST THESE. HERE YOU GO

This episode featuring: Misogynistic tropes, Family Guy, the daddy issues continue, and Robert Smirke's 14 Fears

Silas: YAY

Kayla: hello queers and sam winchester

Compilation of Dean's dumbassery in the beginning, we love to see it

Ominous flickering lights! Great start

EWWWW GOOP

Hell is RIGHT baby bc its probably a demon or something

Oh boy mom and daughter fight

WHDHDHDHDHDHSH

Poor passerby family walking in on that

Yeah and you're young and blonde and therefore likely to get eaten by this thing, which I'm sure is the point

Melon: Oh to be born as a disposable horror movie character

ECTOPLASM

STATEPUFF MARSHMALLOW MAN EHDHDHD

WHSHSGSGSGS JUST WALKS UP TO HIM LIKE HI THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND AND DEAN'S LIKE uhhhhhhhhhhh ookay

Whshsgs yeah her moms not an idiot

Shes thinking abt stabbing u with it Dean

LOOK I GET THERE'S LIKE AN ISSUE WITH SEXISM BUT SHES SO STUPID

HAND

Anyways as I was saying its like "definitely a sexist character archetype" but also she really is stupid

Dean gonna get his hand bit or somethin just putting it in a vent w/a spirit

EWWW SCALP

Oh look another random blonde girl

Did they not check to see if there were any other blonde chicks in the building when investigating

DEAN WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING LIKE THAT??

He was fucking sleeping like that

Ah yes the tragic backstory bc of her dad dying

Ofc

Dude honey he has daddy issues out the wazoo this isn't something you want to be asking probably

Melon: Wait is she asking Dean for parent advice

Me: Asking what yhe first thing he thought of when he remembered his dad

Melon: MAAM

Me: Dean saying it was shooting bottles on a fence I Feel Like Thats A Lie

Melon: Ma’am this man exudes daddy issues in a 6 km radius at all times you really shouldn’t ask him anything about his dad

Melon: Does this look like the face of someone who was hugged as a child? No? Cause he wasn’t

Melon: Pretty sure any answer he gives could be a lie cause like I’m pretty sure the entirety of everything he’s ever done with his dad flashes simultaneously every time he remembers him.

Ohhhh so hanging people jn the field nextdoor ok that tracks

H. H. HOLMES? AMERICAS FIRST SERIAL KILLER

CLOROFORM

THE MURDER CASTLE I KNOW THIS FUCKIN GUY

Crazyyyyy

SHRIEKS THEY'RE JUST BASHING IN WALLS NOW?

LMAO DEAN

Girl u have no sense of self preservation

ALSO TIE YOUR HAIR BACK WHY ARE YOU WALKING IN SOME DINGEY ASS WALLS W/IT DOWN

HHHolmes blond girl. Joanna Beth? Isk.

ECTOPLASM

SCREAM

Time to start breaking walls

[ Crepe says to drink the ectoplasm like a milkshake. Do not do this. ]

Scratch marks..... where others have tried to get out

Oh I am not looking at the screwn while shes looking out of it bc creepy fuckers eye is gonna show up I just know it

OH THERES MULTIPLE GIRLS IN HERE

Theresa...

Rip in pieces

[ Melon appreciates the humor of using an acronym and then adding the rest of the statement. ]

Sam and Dean looking like dumbasses with their fuckin. Metal detector?

Into the sewers without delay we can't go wrong we know the waaaay

That ladder is pretty sketchy

What a creep

Ok scared him off for a sec

Dean army man crawling in a stupid little sewer

[ Melon notes that he's always felt showing someone crawling through a dark tunnel on their stomach is, in his opinion, one of the scariest things to be utilized in horror. I think there's a lot of merit in this; you can't go very fast, and you can't turn around, so if something else is in there with you... It occurs to me, that while we've warned away Melon from TMA for Prentiss reasons, I should show them MAG15. ]

WOO SPIRIT SHOOTIN

Eugg... bones...... the corpse of one of the victims

Well thats creepy as shit

Salt circled him

[ Crepe makes a reference to a Tumblr post about salt in hoola-hoops, instead of salt circles. I'm sure one of you guys could dig it up. ]

CONCRETE TRUCK LMAOOO DEAN WHERED YOU GET THAT

WHSHSHS THE AWKWARD SILENCDean stfu

LMAO

Well thats rough

[ More discussion comtinues on useful and hilarious solutions to demons and ghosts, such as holy water squirt gun, holy water humidifier, and salt infused hairspray flamethrower. ]

Like father like sons oh ma'am

Oh boy

AHAHA.

I mean I get being upset but also its stupid as hell

You can't blame someone for what their parent did thats fucking stupid

I mean I get being concerned that some traits carry over but this soecific behavior is stupid!

[ At some point around here, the episode ended. I, however, was hung up and DEEPLY offended by Jo's behavior at the very end. ]

Me: THE SINS OF THE FATHER ARE NOT THE SINS OF THE SON. BANGS HAND ON DOOR. DO YOU HEAR ME.

Melon: *cough* unfortunately pretty sure john could find a way to pass on his sins or smthn. Dudes done some weird shit

[ I rant about it a bit more. I'm so deeply, deeply offended. Then, a pivot into discussion about the monster of this ep. ]

Me: Anyways absolutely wild that the monster this ep was an irl serial killer

Me: Same energy as Robert Smirke being in the Magnus Archives

Kayla: ROBERT SMIRKE WAS REAL?

[ Needless to say, the conversation was immediately sidetracked. ]

Crepe: What did he do

Melon:

Kayla: BUILT STUFF AND ITS EVIL???

Me: WELL NOT IN REAL LIFE

Kayla: WHAT

Kayla: IS THAT A US GOV BUILDING

Kayla: HE DID BUILD REAL EVIL INK YOU LIAR

Kayla: THATS THE HIGHEST EVIL???

Me: Ok I can't argue with that actually

[ There's some more prattling about this, but I'll mainly leave you with this last thing. ]

Kayla: the us govt isnt its own fear?

Me: No that would be giving it too much credit

---

Well, needless to say, I can't say I'm a fan of Jo at this point. It's a bit frustrating, because it's very clear (to me anyways) that her characterization is the result of some annoying tropes. I can get behind the idea of her wanting to be like her father, and maybe being a bit reckless, but the treatment of her is just... idk. Really frustrating.

I probably would have been a lot more sympathetic if it weren't for that weird turn around at the end. I understand Helen seeing John in the brothers and having issues with that, but Jo? After surviving all that with them? I can understand feeling conflicted, but the way it was presented... hrgh. Irritating all around.

At least this episode had concrete truck. Keeping in theme with the TMA references, Adelard Deckard would be proud.

[kariachi]

I really think it goes back to the writers having that nice brand of 'a good female character is Perfect and Right and always Better and Smarter than the boys and will always remind that they are Superior' brand of misogyny that just leads to the ladies being assholes whose bullshit is minimized. Even for characters who aren't getting the full treatment themselves. In these cases it seems to lead to a place of 'if we have the guys causing problems than it's a Problem because it's more serious when guys do things, but if we have the ladies causing problems then we can and must dust it under the rug because of course it's not as serious as all that'. An amazingly pervasive form of misogyny in the last 20-or-so years.

And from an in-universe perspective, I have to assume relation to Verdona plays a role, because three of the problems are her and her grandchildren, but I also have a theory that Tennysons just have this tendency to go 'I'm going to help' and just run with their first idea without actually thinking about it. Because Vera's whole thing was 'I'm going to help out around here' and then she didn't ask how she could help, she just decided what she was going to do and did it no matter what anybody said or whether it helped or not. And Gwen's whole thing in Kevin's matter chimera arc was 'I'm going to help Kevin' and then she threw herself into research without a second thought to asking how she could help him, or even for any potentially useful information. And even in Verdona's premiere, Gwen's parents and Ben immediately jump to 'we're going to support Gwen's decision to leave' before she'd even made it and so end up doing shit like assuring her that she's replaceable. They just seem to have a nice combination going of 'my good intentions will carry me' and 'but they're family' that, has to be a fucking mess below the surface. Like no wonder there's so many secrets in that family, it'd dissolve like tissue paper.

That really is the vibe Gwen gives. Like she's watched too many middle school and teen romances where everything is Power of Love and a guy not knowing you prefer two squeezes of ketchup over your fries instead of three means he's a selfish jerk who needs to be Fixed or Left. Add in this desire to fix fuckers and a lack of acceptance of other people's boundaries...

And I also can't verify but I'd swear that came up in a scene where Gwen could read fuckers' minds and then it was just, never used again (which, theme with Gwen and Kevin, they're handled like old school superhero comics I swear- 'this issue Superman shows he can fart a pheromone that lures ants, this will never come up again in the next forty-two years of comics'). But again, can't actually verify that one. It would certainly help explain a bit of her bullshit, though it would also bring up a whole load of questions (like how the fuck she falls for people's shit, or why she couldn't figure out shit like 'Lucy isn't Bad').

I've asked it before to electraslight- does Gwen ever actually say why she likes Kevin? Does she ever give a reason? Like, we get reasons from Kevin, but never her. Like, like you said she should be so into tech with him, the shit he can do with tech should impress her, but the show and Gwen both seem to just brush them off. It's weird.

But yeah, the show just, for some reason decided, what? That this was the only reasonable way to bring Kevin into the group? That they needed to attract the yet-untapped Gwevin-fan demographic? Friendship is boring? Character growth is hard? 'If we give the non-white person more focus the studio will catch fire'? There were options out there.

Fuck, add Argit instead of Kevin, I still think we would have gotten a better show. Something more akin to Rooters arc!Argit than AF-canon, give us more blatant alien in Alien Force, force the treatment of aliens as people more than obstacles earlier, we still get Kevin access via Argit, lose the sudden jump from 'trying to kill the Tennysons' to 'working with them' and give more space to see his growth organically rather than having to drop it all on top of us at once, no rushed, toxic romance because like fuck they would have had the balls to set Gwen up with a rat- There's potential there!

*climbs off soapbox*

But anyway, yeah, Kevin and Gwen need-- Therapy, distance, separate lives, different states at minimum, let them grow, let them learn, let them form healthy shit. Then we can see how friendships go.

I don't have the emotional fortitude to write it, but the brain does sometimes mosey over to the potential aftermath of simple shit like 'the Omnitrix is programmed to prevent its wielder from dying', 'Ben is known to occasionally get the wrong alien', and 'falling from great heights is very bad for your health' coming together after Gwen shoves the boys out of the ship during Showdown to result in one dead Kevin.

Like damn but that could be one dramatic and painful storyline.

[arabian-bloodstream]

HOTD S01E10 thoughts

Well, I thought the finale was awesome. Also, apparently, Rhaenyra is TOTALLY my favorite character, not Daemon, LOL!

- Emma D’arcy is amazing. Period.

- Sorry, ya’ll, but I completely understood where Daemon was coming from throughout the whole thing. He was like YAAAAS, I finally have a reason to take these motherfuckers down, go to war on Otto and his bootlickers after nearly 20 years. YAAS!!!! Woohoo!!

- Why, why, why would he even remotely want to be there when Rhaenrya was going through that childbirth which could possibly lead to her death when he loves her so much when he went nearly through the same thing with Laena who he didn’t love even remotely near like? Daemon has shown in the past that he does, you know, like cowardly shit. He runs when it’s too much. This is like the ZENITH of way, way, waaaaaaaaaay too much. Of course, his ass wasn’t there.

- As for Daemon choking her, duh! four things:

1. That was all about Viserys and Daemon’s major, major issues about Viserys. Never being good enough for Viserys. Viserys never choosing him for anything. Finding out that he had been heir to the throne for how many freaking years and Viserys had NEVER told him this HUGE fucking thing? And to find this out the day or so after Viserys died, so he can’t even have a good vent to Viserys about it because he’s still dealing with his major grief over Viserys, you know, dying.

2. Daemon is dealing with a shit-ton of emotional shit. A) Viserys, the brother he deeply loved, died. B) He just lost his baby. C) His wife’s throne was just usurped. D) He’s all hepped up on YAAAAAS! I can finally kill Otto and Crispin and all of those other cunts who have annoyed me for years!!

3. Daemon hurt her physically. And then Rhaenyra gave it right back emotionally. Did you see her reaction once he let go? She was all (with a smile on her face, no less) “You didn’t know? Hahahahaha! He never told you!!” Yeah, she hit back at him where it fucking hurt!

Yeah, these two fucking fight dirty as fuck!

4. Daemon Targaryen is NOT an anti-hero. He can be a monster. He can be a bad guy who does a lot of really, really bad things. Yes, he loves his family. Yes, he does, but he is not some woobie. He does really awful, terrible shit. That be who Daemon is. This is NOT out of character for him. No, sireebob!

- Rhaenyra making sure that Rhaena and Baela were part of the war council discussion... chef’s kiss.

- I love Jace. That is all.

- Every moment with Luke made my heart hurt because I knew what was coming.

- The contrast to the birth episode from the first episode compared to this one, gah. All the awards for Emma D’Arcy. ALL. THE. AWARDS. Throughout the labor, pulling out the stillbirth baby girl, holding her, wrapping her up. Gah. And even Daemon coming upon her and unable to come in because it was too much for him and then his grief on his own out in the waves. My heart!! Gosh, it was devastating.

- Vhargar is huge. Aemond is fucking evil. I hate him. I know, he didn’t mean to kill Luke, but still!

- Rhaenrya tried so hard for peace. She. Tried. So. FUCKING HARD. And Daemon was such... ugh, he kept acting like he was in charge, and some of the looks she was giving him like, “Fucker, I AM THE QUEEN, dude!” And then likewise when she wouldn’t let him kill Otto, he was all, “but, but, but.... I wanna! Why won’t you let me kill me him?!?!?” (And, honestly, I was thinking same. “Rhaenyra... let Daemon kill Otto!!”)

- Ooh, I loved the callback to Daemon and Otto facing off on the Dragonstone walkway and then here comes Rhaenrya on Syrax. And this time, Rhaenyra was WITH Daemon. So cool.

- Finally, oh, I LOVED when Ser Erryk brought out the crown, knelt and declared himself loyal to the Queen, said his vows. Oh, I was all verklempt. Then Daemon put the crown upon Rhaenyra’s head, called her “My Queen” and then knelt before her. And all followed suit. That was great.

Really, I think if the showrunners had known how well the show as going to do they would have stretched things out more and THAT would have been the end of the season. It would have been a fantastic contrast the to previous episode’s end, and such an awesome end to the episode and season. Ah well.

Overall, I thought it was a fantastic episode. Emma D’Arcy was really the MVP. Just fantastic. Ep 9 was meh, but this one was awesome. Can’t wait to rewatch it on Sunday night!

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[tellywoodtrash]

balh2 31.08.21 lb

priya stops the auto to let ram in, but he's whisked away in the now-fixed car by his posse, and she's like yeahhhhhhh seems about right for rich ppl, and goes her way.

very subtle playing of song show title is based on. ram hums along happily while priya tells auto bhaiyya to pls turn it off. lol she really does hate any type of sentimentality, and i'm here for this peak grumpy girl representation.

blah blah time waste establishing ram's family. aaaaaaaaaand they have shubhaavi choksey playing his mom when she's the same age as him irl. wonderful. best. very nice. i'm not angry about this at all.

snobby rich ppl greeting exchange. air kisses missing.

priya comes home to discover maitreyi and her husband are visiting. she just ignores them and walks into her room.

meanwhile ram walks into heartache after heartache. ek toh sagaai went on without him, and shivi's toast is only for her other brother shubham and her mom and her besties. (one of whom looks very familiar, where do i know her from???????) anyway someone give ram a (non-vegan) cupcake to feel better from having a shitty fam.

vedu notices ram and points him out to shivi, who's suddenly all RAM BHAIIIIIIIIIIIII, MY BIGGEST SUPPORTERRRRRRRR. pssssh.

oh btw, that fucker who wanted to use that totally non happening video for blackmail seems to be vedu's husband/???

ponky from naagin 5 is a friend of ram's. but he's a literal fetus???? i'd have thought he was a younger brother ala rudra.

priya's brother has his fucking shoes on her bed and mereko jo gussa aa raha hai na by goddddddd. YOU JUST CAME IN FROM THE FUCKING RAIN YOU DIRTYASS............

anyway priya's like idgaf that maitreyi married my ex bf.

"humein khush rehne ke liye kisi ki zaroorat nahi hoti." she's saying words i agree with, but show immediately cops out by showing her tearing up and blubbering "i don't need anyone, i'm fiiiiiiiiiine" unconvincingly. guh. idk if i'm gonna be able to watch this show if it keeps diluting its messages like this.

ram toh udhar giving lecture on baarish. BRO ENOUGH. I AM SO DONE WITH THIS TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. itna toh baarish se lagaan ke champaaner waalon ko pyaar nahi tha jitna iss show mein log karte hain.

priya doing a very convincing mimickry of kinda pretentious maitreyi to entertain one new younger sibling. how many fucking siblings does priya have??????? (too fuckin many, is the answer.)

i do not appreciate the characterization of ram's chamcha friend's wife as a nagging ball and chain type.

new mangatar and bitchy shubham are snidely remarking about ram and his bechaara broken dil thanks to vedika.

ok if shivaay was obnoxiously self assured, ram is just......... almost annoyingly roll over and show your belly type of soft and diplomatic and people pleasing. only extremes for nakuul sir i guess.

adi's wife (brinda?) catches him looking out into baarish and shedding a few silent tears, and she's here to nag HIM now about getting a wife. yes brinda, because you make marriage look like SUCHHHHH AN APPEALING PROSPECT.

ram's like no i don't need anyone and then wistfully stares at vedu saying i'll never find someone who loves like she does her husband.

brinda's like it's all fake, dude. real couples fight and argue and cuss at each other and wow.... i think brinda and adi might need couples' counseling coz..... you're not SUPPOSED to be so complacent about your marriage being so dysfunctional.

oh breakup was 6-7 saal pehle. ok yeah sir you should have gotten over it by now. therapy for you too.

NO NOT THE EK TARFA PYAAR KI TAAQAT SPEECH NO FUCKIN NO OK

SHUBHAAVI AS NAKUUL'S MOM WILL NEVER NOT ENRAGE ME. I NEVER THOUGHT IT'D GET WORSE THAN MANASI SALVI, BUT LOVE THAT TELLYWOOD MANAGES TO FUCKING ENRAGE ME WITH THIS SHIT WITH EVERY NEW SHOW.

priya refuses to have ice cream because of her principles against capitalism. which............... ok??? there's no ethical consumption under capitalism, sis. just eat the overpriced ice cream.

just realised that the eldest sister is played by the actress who was jai's elder sister in just mohabbat.

anyway eldest sister (sara) and youngest sister (sandy) are team!priya over maitreyi.

priya is as anti-shaadi as me and asks sara if she's happy (priya clearly doesn't think much of sara's husband who leaves all the child-rearing to her, in addition to running the bakery) and sara's like "maate, mujhpe mat shuru ho jaate, pls" snort. yeah, no one likes their bad choices rubbed in their faces.

oh, their dad ran away after allll the betiyaan and married someone else. zindagi gulzar hai sitch hai.

more of priya asserting that she's happy single and show undermining her with the music cues and character reactions. fuck this messaging. why can't it be that she's genuinely happy single and ram is just a good complementary partner she finds and decides to change her mind about marriage coz that's what they want for themselves. i hate this black and white nonsense.

sisters are forcing priya to go on a date (with whom?????) and the scene just cuts off awkwardly.

ram has PINK shoes on today. man this is so a nakuul thing, this one (1) atrangi styling element of an otherwise formally dressed man.

ram also being set up on date by adi/brinda. should be with someone else, i guess. i don't think brinda and priya run in the same circles.

ram is right in that the least these ppl could do is ask consent before setting it all up.

priya is grumpily refusing to do any thaam jhaam dress up for date. good for her.

lol @ sara trying to sneak away priya's beloved raincoat.

anyway psych 101 shit ki priya has confidence issues and is so down on herself that she rejects everyone before they can reject her.

lmao priya is me at hearing the date is in some hoity toity place where they give small portions for exorbitant amounts of money.

sara di gets call ki some "unhone" didn't pay their share of bakery emi? the nikkamma husband? or some other business partner??

priya is out on warpath to go confront that person.

she's psyching herself up outside their door. i think it's her dad?

OMG CHACHI FROM IMMJ2 LMAO, IS SHE THE SECOND WIFE?

ok dad's a rudeass fuck. he's all she's not my daughter, but all ready to dole out thappads when she says it like it is. sperm donors like these should be kneed in the nads.

idgi tho? there's ONE beta there tho???? is akshay not his biological son?????

anyway, priya is right in thinking men suck. #yesAllMen

precap: her date niiiiiiicely validates the misandry by being a fucking jerk. looks like ram is cheering her up in a sweet moment? priya catches akshay getting cosy with.... shivi i guess??? idk all these girls look the same to me. #faceblindness

[maybedefinitely404]

Not Your Typical

Genre: college AU, hurt/comfort (kind of?)

Pairings: romantic Demus, Logicality, and Prinxiety

Content: some language, autistic character, sensory overload, mentions of losing friends in the past, anxiety, unintentional self harm, Roman is kind of a jerk but he regrets it, food mentions, unable to eat certain consistencies, beach/water/swimming, Janus being a disaster gay, ASL, selective mutism.

Word count: 6k

Comments: Like always, I don’t intend for these to be so long. Holy cow.

Janus is written based mostly on my experiences as someone with autism, and how it’s affected my childhood/relationships/daily life. No one’s experience is the same.

Janus was always alone. Alone, not lonely. 

Most of the time, that is. 

His whole childhood was an endless cycle of make a friend, weird them out, be alone. Find another friend, weird them out, be alone. And sometimes it hurt, yeah, but he got used to it. At home, he spent the entire day in his room, assembling structures out of legos before tearing them down and starting over. Sometimes he’d build something really cool, and that would stay up for a long time. He didn’t have any siblings, and his parents didn’t give a whoop as long as the floor was generally clear, so no one ever bothered the space ships or towers or just really long lines that stretched from one wall to the other. He liked those. 

Things changed when he got to middle school. Life started getting real, people became more than just recess friends, and that unsettled him. He made a couple close friends, friends that he really opened up to only for them to leave him when he became too much. He just couldn’t help it though; he couldn’t help the way he bounced when he got so excited he couldn’t breathe, or how he couldn’t use words when he got overwhelmed by the touch and the noise, or how he couldn’t stop talking about his favorite shows or books. He was labeled as childish. It was like a label had been stuck to his chest that read “avoid at all costs”, and people did. 

So he relearned how to be alone. He put a lava lamp next to his bed for when he needed something constant to look at, he got a collection of chewy necklaces and stim toys that never left his room. After a lot of research, he convinced his parents to buy him a weighted blanket for when every touch was too light, too agonizingly light, and he needed something firm to ground him. At school, or really around anyone, he learned to control his more obvious stimming and touch sensitivity by staying in oversized sweaters and jeans. He taught himself basic sign language for when he couldn’t talk, even though he knew his parents wouldn’t understand him. They took forever to learn basic signs, for ‘water’ or ‘quiet’ or ‘no’, and both eventually got frustrated and gave up. As if their frustration was anything compared to his. 

It was going great, not perfect but better than before, until he graduated high school. Suddenly he realized he was about to move halfway across the country, to a new environment with new triggers and new people who didn’t understand that he wasn’t frowning because he was pissed, but because smiling when you didn’t understand the reasoning was exhausting. Why do people smile and greet you when they enter the room? Why couldn’t that be more of an… understood thing? I’m here, you’re here now, we both know that, so why bring so much attention to it? For once his parents were kind enough to help him out, taking him to the campus during the summer to get acquainted with the surroundings and learn the map by heart. He talked to the admission’s counselor, explaining his disability and why that meant he couldn’t be on the side of campus near the highway, because the constant noise and common sirens would make him explode. They were eventually able to move him to one of the other buildings, one with apartments instead of dorms, even though that was generally only for third and fourth years. It took a load off his shoulders; less noise, less people. The one thing he couldn’t do was meet his roommates before the year started. 

The school got them into contact, and since he was the last to be assigned to the six person pod, they added him into their pre-established group chat. The other five already had nicknames, ranging from ‘Dad’ to ‘Rat Bastard’, and he immediately felt like an outsider. Not like that was new to him, though. Except, he didn’t stay like that. When one of the group, ‘Nerdy Mcnerd’ on the chat (he’d long forgotten their actual names), asked him what he liked and he immediately sent a list of special interests and hyperfixations, the top being snakes, it was like a door had been opened. Nerdy Mcnerd was a fan of space as well, and the two stayed up until all hours of night on their own chat discussing space and their place in the universe. Rat Bastard had an affinity for what people would categorize as “creepy animals”; octopi and squid, spiders, star-nosed moles, and most importantly, snakes. Their conversations mostly involved dopey pictures of snakes and unintelligible key smashes and emojis. Emo Disaster shared his love of darker themed TV shows, and they started a couple new ones at the same time, constantly updating each other with theories. When he mentioned his major was psychology, Dad was immediately overjoyed to be sharing the major with someone, and offered to help him study for the harder classes. He didn’t hit it off quite so well with Princey, who was put off by Janus’ so called “moodiness” and didn’t trust him. 

When they finally met, it was supposed to be great. Janus knew the environment, somewhat knew his roommates, and was surprisingly excited for the new year. His joy was suddenly vanquished, however, as meeting these people face to face took a turn for the worse. Dad, Patton, immediately tried to go for the hug when he walked into the apartment for the first time, and was slightly taken aback when Janus reared back so hard he hit his head on the wall. The glee disappeared and he apologized profusely, and that’s when Nerdy Mcnerd, Logan walked in, explaining that Patton was very physical. They were over it rather quickly, but Janus shuddered as soon as the other two turned to each other. They had already claimed one of the three rooms for themselves, so Janus chose the one furthest into the apartment. He dropped his suitcases next to one of the two beds with a deep sigh. The thought of a hug… no. It unsettled him greatly, made his skin crawl. Maybe one day, but not now. 

Emo Disaster and Princey, Virgil and Roman, arrived later in the day, hand in hand, bickering animatedly when they walked into the apartment. They were greeted with a huge hug from Patton and a side hug from Logan, and that’s when Janus recalled that they had all been roommates the year prior and again, felt a small tinge of pain. He was still the odd one out. Virgil gave a two finger salute to where Janus was sitting curled up on one of the bar stools, knees pulled to his chest and for the first time, Janus didn’t feel compelled to give a forced smile in greeting. It was a relief. The small nod was all that was needed. Roman however, was a different story. When they happened to make eye contact for the first time, the taller man still standing in the doorway, Janus flinched. Hard. The man’s eyes burned through him, as if scouring through his brain, eyes so full of passion that Janus had to look away. Eye contact was only an issue for him sometimes, but with Roman, it physically hurt. Which only made the theatre major more suspicious of him. As he passed him on the way to get a glass of water, the taller man blurted out, “You’re a first year, why are you in a third year building?”, earning him a gentle smack from Virgil. He answered with a lame shrug and rushed back to his room, conceding to just go to sleep, regretting leaving his drink on the counter. 

No one besides Janus was surprised when the door burst open at three am and a loud voice screamed, “I’M BACK, FUCKERS!” He was frozen in place, woken with such an adrenaline rush that he couldn’t move. Outside, the other four exited their rooms with varying levels of annoyance and delight, greeting the final member of the group. Remus, as Janus heard them proclaim, was his roommate, the only two dwellers not in a relationship. The gremlin burst into the room, a deranged smile on his face, and Janus wanted to cry. Why did he have to be stuck in a room with the loud one? But Remus saw the mismatched eyes poking out from under the blanket and with no hesitation, sunk to the floor next to the bed, still smiling but a million decimals softer. 

“Hey, Snakey. Sorry to scare ya. I’m Remus, but you can still call me Rat Bastard if you want. Call me whatever, I don’t really get offended. You go back to sleep, I’m gonna get settled in. We can talk in the morning.”

Janus wasn’t planning to fall asleep, not with this new person in his room, but Remus was shockingly silent as he unloaded his things (he packed a bunch of garbage bags, not even a suitcase or box), and he couldn’t help the way his eyes slipped shut. 

First semester came to a close, and he was equally delighted and horrified that everyone was staying on campus for break. It had become harder and harder for him to avoid movie nights, or family dinners (as Patton called them), or days they all went into town together. In the beginning, he put it off to being tired. Then, studying for exams. Now with school halted for nearly a month, he was out of excuses. It was getting to the point where he could feel the frustration from his roommates, and he wanted to admit how much he wanted to spend time with them, until his drawer full of secret stim toys and chewy necklaces called him back. At times, he let himself spend time with them. Baked something with Patton, talked about the stars with Logan, sat with Virgil as they studied, and it was good. He never was able to escape Roman’s cynical glares that made him absolutely shudder, but he got on much better with his twin. 

Remus never minded if Janus only greeted him with a raised eyebrow, and he was okay to have more one sided conversations while Janus drew, or after a few weeks, stared unapologetically. Because god, there was so much about Remus that Janus couldn’t help but watch, even if a normal person would get uncomfortable by his wide and unblinking eyes. Luckily, Remus was no ordinary person. But the younger still kept the drawer to himself, only allowing himself to nom on the plastic or squeeze the orbeez filled squishy snake with intense fascination when he was alone. So every time he was with the others and felt the need to stim or infodump or was about to have a stress induced meltdown, he would excuse himself and leave without so much of a goodbye. He couldn’t, not in front of them. Every time he left, he could hear Roman’s quiet remarks about him that stung more than he wanted to admit. 

He’d had so many people leave, people he allowed himself to get close to, only for them to see the side of himself he tried to hide. In his heart, he knew that part of him wasn’t bad. It was just him. Other people didn’t understand that, though. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that no one would judge him, or laugh at him because they weren’t like that, he was scared. The effort was wearing him thin, and it came to the point where he realized he had to tell them. He had to, or he would burst, and that would be way worse.

It was just three little words: I. Am. Autistic. And he’d explain everything, tell them about his stims and limits and how he needed space sometimes and hugs others, and spill everything about himself, and they’d accept him. They’d have to, right? Only, the night he was planning to blurt out the truth, something stopped him. 

They were eating dinner, one of the only ones he’d attended in a while. Patton kept glancing at him from across the table as he picked half heartedly at his lasagna, distracted from the lively conversation between the twins and Virgil. The whole thing was speckled with bite sized pieces of mushrooms and zucchini, two of the foods that he couldn’t eat to save his life. The texture made him want to recoil into himself and scream and yank at his hair, and he’d learned early in life that that wasn’t a normal response to food. He wanted to explain to Patton that it wasn’t the meal itself he was avoiding, that it wasn’t Patton’s cooking that he didn’t like, it was just the texture of those two things. 

Well, maybe that was a good gateway into his big announcement, if you could even call it that. It felt almost as scary as his coming out to his parents had been. If they didn’t take this well, he might be exiled from the group. If they tried to put up with them, they’d get irritated so quickly and slowly freeze him out. He really didn’t want that. It needed to happen though, he realized. How much worse would it be if one of them walked in on him having a meltdown, holding a pillow over his mouth to block his screams, biting almost animalistically on a necklace? How unsettled would they be if they saw him hitting his blanket pile out of repulsion of the feeling of his textbook pages? Better to warn them ahead of time. It was only luck that had gotten him this far.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Logan hit the table with the heel of his hand and let out an almost guttural scream before storming into his and Patton’s room, slamming the door behind him. Janus nearly fell backwards off his chair, matching Virgil’s surprised expression. Roman went silent, wincing slightly.

“What…” It was the first word he’d said the entire meal. Patton whipped his head towards him as if he’d forgotten he was there, a sudden sympathetic look on his face. He gave a weak smile.

“Sorry about that, kiddo. Logan has autism, sometimes he can’t handle the stimulus around him. Or maybe he just had a rougher day than I thought. I’ll check on him after dinner, give him some alone time.”

Logan has autism.

Logan has autism. 

Oh my god.

It was like everything clicked into place. His passionate talk about topics he was interested in that could rival Janus’ (if he would ever let himself infodump like he wanted). His mannerisms, his occasional emotional outbursts, his rigorous unbreakable schedule, it all made sense. For a brief second, Janus was elated. Someone like him, someone who understood! And if they accepted Logan, maybe they would be able to understand him, even if they presented different areas of the spectrum. 

But… how would that look? Janus had hidden away his neurodivergent traits for so long, repressed them until he felt like he would literally explode… what if they thought he was faking it? It’s not like they knew him well, not with the amount of time he avoided being around them. They might think he was lying to get attention, didn’t want to be left out. Wanted to be special.

Patton seemed to be waiting for a response, he noted. He gave a curt nod, hoping it displayed that he was unbothered by Logan’s disability, before giving a stupid excuse about some reading to finish over break and darting back to his room. Remus joined him later, saying nothing about the fact that Janus was huddled under his weighted blanket, no book in sight. He sat down in front of the bed, a common habit of his now, and began to quietly talk about some new dark fantasy story he was designing, his lilting voice soothing Janus to sleep.

Time passed, winter came and went, and the end of second semester was drawing near. Janus was still careful with the way he presented to the others. They had picked up that he didn’t like physical contact, and though they never said a word about it, Patton’s lasagna recipe shifted, kept changing, until it no longer included mushrooms and zucchini. Janus refused to believe it was for his sake, though. He tried to join them for a couple movie nights, but the constant fear of stimming made his anxiety spike, therefore finding the need to stim more compelling, until he had to leave. It was getting harder, however, now that it was that pleasant in-between time where he understood how his new profs worked but it wasn’t exam season yet. His excuses were dwindling. Like always, Roman made his stupid quips that hurt him more than was probably intended, and he’d finally had enough. 

Maybe that’s why he was staring out at the open lake in front of him, hands playing absentmindedly with the hem of his shirt as Patton and Remus squealed, sprinting into the water without a second thought. One of their shirts had landed on Janus’ sandaled foot, and he quickly kicked it off as the light touch began to irritate him. Logan stood to his side, watching his boyfriend with an almost imperceivable smile. 

“You guys could have helped carry stuff if you were just going to stand there!” Roman’s indignant voice carried over the lawn, muffled slightly by the pile of towels he was carrying. Virgil snorted, whether in agreement or at Princey’s expense, Janus didn’t know. Either way, he dumped his handful of lawn chairs unceremoniously onto the lawn at their feet. 

“You two set these up then. I’m hot, I’m going swimming.”

“Damn right, you are,” Roman grinned. Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“Damn right I’m hot, or I’m going swimming?”

“Yes.” He didn’t give any of them a second to retort, scooping up a shrieking Virgil before sprinting them both into the water. 

“They didn’t even take their shirts off,” Logan commented, picking up a chair from the pile and unfolding it. Janus quickly joined in, helping him set the four chairs into a line and placing the towels down in front of them. “Did you want to go swimming?”

Admittedly, Janus hadn’t actually gone swimming, much less to the beach, since he was a kid. He was lucky to have even found a swimsuit amongst his other barely worn clothing; how it had snuck into his suitcase, he didn’t know. The water looked inviting and it was hot, but right now he was exhausted from the long ride over in Remus’ truck, having to refrain from plugging his ear when it got too loud or maintain his breathing carefully when a leg touched his.

“Maybe in a bit. I’m kind of tired.”

Logan turned to look at him, dare he say scrutinizingly? He washed the expression away quickly, asking, “Would you like me to stay with you?”

“No, it’s okay,” Janus mumbled, “You go have fun. I’ll be fine, I like the quiet.” As if to punctuate his point, a child screamed from the playground, making them both flinch.

“Are you positive?”

“Yes. Go enjoy yourself, Logan.”

He nodded curtly, pulling his shirt over his head in one fluent motion and walking towards the waves professionally, as if he were walking towards a lecture. Patton cheered from the water.

Janus didn’t concern himself with the time as it passed, instead letting his mind wander while he focused on a line of ants that were crawling up a tree next to him. It wasn’t until a fast approaching form caught his attention did he tear his eyes away, hearing him give a shout of “Be right back!”.

Remus plopped himself onto the towel next to him, still panting from the run, but grinning from ear to ear. As he ripped open a water bottle and drank greedily, Janus couldn’t help but stare. Water glistened on his skin like jewels in the afternoon sun, plastering his hair down over his jaw and eyes. His eyelashes were barely fluttering against his cheekbones as he guzzled nearly half of the bottle, his adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. The jut of his shoulder, almost touching his throat, taking his weight as he leaned back on his arm… the whole thing was fascinating. People interested Janus as a whole; the way they functioned, how they seamlessly picked up on little cues from others that Janus was still in the process of figuring out, even down to intricate biology of cells was incredibly captivating. But Remus was so much more than that. His voice when he spoke him to sleep, never mentioning it the next day, the way his dark eyes glimmered with hope when Janus agreed to eat with them, the twitch of his moustache as he covered a laugh at Patton’s corny jokes. 

He was art, plain and simple. 

Janus didn’t know if what he felt was romantic attraction. It sure felt like it, except it had never felt quite like this before. It wasn’t that he was asexual or anything, he was actually decently far from it. It was just how uncomfortable most physical contact made him that gave him the idea he might never have a partner in the way that he wanted. He wanted to hold hands, to cuddle, to kiss… but at the same time, he didn’t. That is, he didn’t know how he’d handle it. Sure, he’d had crushes in the past, cute boys from his classes or celebrities in the shows he hyperfixated on, and still the feeling of uncertainty had stayed. With Remus, something was different though. Never before had a crush ever felt so breath stealing, chest clenching, awe inspiring-

“Like what you see?” 

Janus flinched, realizing Remus had finished drinking and was beaming at him with that stupid gorgeous gleam in his eyes. He looked at his lap immediately, feeling his face heat up. 

“Sorry.” 

“Not a problem,” Remus smirked, having the audacity to wink at him before standing up. “I’m going back in. Coming?” He reached out his hand, hopeful. Janus took a breath, acknowledging that this was his first time initiating contact since he’d arrived, and grabbed Remus’ hand. The surprise on the other’s face was almost enough to make him laugh. He pulled the younger to his feet, keeping a firm hold in Janus’ hand. And… that was okay. 

Until it wasn’t. 

The second his feet touched the sand, it was like alarm bells exploded behind his eyes. He couldn’t describe it, but it felt wrong. It gave in too much, light sprinkles of sand covered the top of his feet and instantly every nerve was on high alert. He ripped his hand from Remus’, stumbling backwards onto the grass again. The elder spun to him with concern.

“Snakey? What happened?”

“I- hmm, no. I can’t. Nope. No no no. Wrong. It… hmmmm. Can’t.” The last word dragged out as his brain seemed to disconnect from his mouth. His mind didn’t work, so focused on how every blade of grass was swiping along his soles too softly, too gentle, too much. His hands had curled into fists and he was fighting against everything inside him to scream bloody murder, because oh god the wind was brushing the hair onto the back of his neck and it tickled and make it stop make it stop!

Janus could vaguely hear someone shout, and the loudness floored him. Get away, get away, it’s too much it’s too much. The feeling of the grass was gone, and he was sitting on his beach towel, but the wind was still brushing his hair too much, so he grabbed at it uselessly, begging it to stop, stop, stop. 

“What’s happening?” Roman.

“Is he okay?” Patton.

“Does he look okay?” Virgil.

“Janus, breathe. You’re safe.” Logan.

 Yeah, he knew that. He knew, objectively, that the wind isn’t out to get him and grass doesn’t hurt and sand isn’t supposed to fry your nerves. That didn’t change the fact that it did for him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, it connected that they were seeing him have a meltdown, finally. But he couldn’t focus on that, not when someone was touching his arm why are they touching my arm LET GO! 

He screamed now, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. His breaths were ragged and gaspy, hands ripping at his hair to try and stop the fluttering strands. Then there was a new sound, an engine, a boat, and with it came the deep bass of some terrible music and there were people shouting and his head was hurting, why was it hurting so bad?! New hands grabbed his wrists and he writhed, pulling back from the grip that was pulling his fists away from where they’d been hitting his skull, over and over, trying to just get his stupid brain to work. Come back to the present, ground yourself, do SOMETHING!

And then something was in his hands. 

His eyes peeled open (when had he shut them?) and he saw the dark blue stress ball, almost crushed between his fingers. The hands were gone from his wrist, and he took a deep breath, relaxing his hand and watching the slime filled toy slowly return to its natural shape. It was just like one from his drawer, the first stim toy he’d ever gotten. Familiarity. He kneaded it under his fingers, enjoying the comforting texture, the color soothing to his sensitive eyes. Bit by bit he felt himself relax, still holding the toy inches from his face between stiff hands, letting his legs unfurl. Without thinking, he raised a shaking hand to his chin and did the sign for ‘water’, and immediately regretted it. It was just such a habit around his parents, the only other people who had seen him break down to this extent, how could he be so-

He flinched as a water bottle was pressed into his raised hand, the lid already taken off. The water was so good, settling his senses and grounding him, like he’d been in hyperfocus before and it was dulled now. He gave the stress ball another squeeze, captivated by the way the slime moved, not even flinching as someone snapped in front of him.

Looking up for the first time, his first instinct was to crawl into a hole and die. Logan was sitting in front of him, slowly putting the cap back on his water bottle before handing it back to Patton, who was standing just behind him. Roman and Virgil had begun packing the chairs and bags agonizingly slowly and quietly. Impressive; they were almost done and he hadn’t noticed until now. He turned to his left and his heart completely shattered. Remus was sitting statue still, a few feet away, with a look of pure fear in his eyes. He sat on the edge of his knees, like he wanted to pounce forward and hug him but was holding himself back. He appreciated that. 

Logan snapped again and Janus turned back.

‘Better?’ He signed slowly. 

‘You know sign?’ Janus responded weakly, confused. 

‘Patton too. I go nonverbal as well. Are you okay?’

The younger nodded, returning his hands to the stim toy on his lap. ‘Yours?’

‘Yes.’

“Is he okay?” Remus whispered suddenly, drawing their attention. He looked so scared, like anything could break Janus and he was scared he would cause it. Oh. Did he think he caused this?

‘Not his fault.’

Logan looked between the two, a look of confusion settling in his face. “What?”

‘Not. His. Fault.’ He signed sharply, a frustrated hum emitting from the back of his throat. ‘Not his fault!’

“Remus, he’s saying it’s not your fault. What does that mean?”

“I- I took his hand, and then this happened…” Remus started, leaning back onto his feet ashamedly, “If that wasn’t the cause, what was?” 

‘Sand.’

Logan’s eyes filled with understanding, and he responded, ‘Sand?’ as if to double check that he got the right sign. Janus nodded again, slightly thankful for the mute state he was in. He wouldn’t be able to explain this as well as Logan would. 

“If I’m understanding right, then my first assumptions were correct. Janus, did you just experience a sensory overload?”

Janus could only nod, meeting his eyes shakily. This is the moment. Now is his segway. If Logan wasn’t already suspicious, he surely was now. And he’d rather not have to explain, or come up with some half assed excuse if he was confronted later on why sinking his foot into sand had made him break. 

 ‘I’m autistic.’ He fingerspelled it, not knowing what the sign was, or if there even was one. There was a beat of silence, the twins and Virgil exchanging puzzled looks, and Janus couldn’t even bear to look at the two people who would have understood. All his fears came rushing back. Would they think he was lying, or seeking attention, or or or-

“Oh, sweetie,” Patton crooned, sitting cross legged beside Logan, “We thought maybe… well, the possibility came up in conversation before. Lo was the one who brought it up.”

“Yes. Though our experiences differ, you seemed to exhibit symptoms that are common to the ASD spectrum. I thought it feasible, but did not wish to offend or frighten you by mentioning it.”

“We thought that if you were autistic, it would be yours to tell us,” Patton smiled softly. 

“Wait,” Remus interrupted, “Janus, you have autism?”

Janus’ nervous glance up must have been enough to clue the rest of the group in, because Roman sighed and ducked his head into Virgil’s shoulder while Logan messily signed something which roughly translated to ‘how dense can someone be’. Jan couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not, but he cracked a smile anyways.

“Shit. Dude, I’m so sorry,” Roman murmured into Virgil’s shirt, “All the times I made fun of you for not joining us or anything, that was way out of line. I truly apologize.”

The youngest gave him the worldwide gesture for ‘it’s okay’; not exactly ASL, but it got his point across. Everything was packed up now, and Janus realized the implications.

‘Home?’ He asked Logan, eyebrows scrunched together.

‘Yes. You need to rest.’ He was right, he was exhausted. Getting to his feet along with Patton and Logan, he reached down to grab his towel, only for it to be promptly swooped up by Roman.

“I… I got it. Don’t worry about it. Okay?”

As soon as Roman turned his back, Janus couldn’t help his heavy sigh. This was another reason he had refrained from telling anyone. He didn’t want to be seen as a burden, or worse, a child. He didn’t need help with menial tasks like grabbing a towel. Virgil and him lifted all the belongings again, with less complaining this time, and began the short trek to the truck.

‘He’s not babying you,’ Logan signed, as if reading his mind, ‘He’s just guilty. If you want my advice, get as much out of it as you can.’

“Logan!” Patton chastised, failing miserably at hiding a smirk.                            

“Guys?” Remus’ uncharacteristically timid voice prompted them to turn back, “Could I talk to Janus for a sec?”

“You understand he is unable to speak at the moment, correct?” Logan raised an eyebrow, probably coming off more harsh than he meant to. 

“I know. Just… please?”

The other two shared a knowing look that Janus didn’t understand, before Logan turned to Janus. “Is that okay?”

The youngest nodded, watching over his shoulder as the lovebirds joined hands, leaving him and Remus alone. When he met his eyes again, he was standing much closer, eyes searching nervously.

“Maybe this will actually be easier since you can’t talk,” he laughed, before his face fell dramatically, “Fuck, that’s not what I meant. I’m such an idiot, I didn’t mean-”

Janus held up a hand quickly, as if to say ‘it’s fine, settle down’, holding back a snicker. He’d understand if someone was upset by the comment, but he’d learn to take Remus’ jokes lightly. He never meant to actually offend, sometimes he just… blurted without intending to. He rolled his finger in a ‘keep going’ motion.

“Shit. Okay,” He’d never seen Remus blush, or stumble over his words before. Not like this, at least, “Now, don’t feel obligated to say you feel the same or anything, okay? This is just, my feelings, and mine alone,” A deep breath, “I like you, Snakey. I like you a lot. More than… more than a friend.”

Oh.

Oh.

Janus was ninety percent sure he died right then and there. But Remus kept going, tripping over his words in a way that was so unlike him, and yet so perfect.

“I have for a while. I never said anything because I thought, maybe you disliked me? After today though, I think… well, maybe I was misinterpreting those signals. Like I misinterpreted today. That you didn’t want to be around me, no matter how hard I tried.”

Okay, Janus took it back. He wanted to be able to talk now, but his voice came out as another low hum, and he slapped his hand over his mouth, embarrassed. Remus pressed on, unfazed. 

“Snakey, I swear to you, that you having autism doesn’t change those feelings at all. It’s not a bad thing, or a flaw, it’s just you. And everything about you is amazing, and perfect, and this is just another thing I get to learn about you. Any fears you had around telling us, telling me, you don’t need to have them.”

He’d never felt this kind of feeling before. In that second, he knew for a fact that this wasn’t a crush that he had on Remus. That wasn’t possible, because a crush had never made him want to break his social barriers like this. A crush had never made him want to make an exception, to stand on his tip toes and kiss him, even if the thought of a new touch usually caused goosebumps to rise on his arms. Because he felt so safe, so blissfully numb, so comfortable with Remus, that he’d be willing to give it a try.

This wasn’t a crush. This was-

“I love you,” Remus whispered, his statement accompanied by a large shaky breath.

He couldn’t say it back, not right now. Later, he would. For sure. Maybe a hundred times. So he did what he’d never thought possible and took that step forward, breaking his bubble that he’d always thought to be unbreakable. 

It’s okay. You’re okay. This is okay. 

For once, he actually believed it.

Janus reached a hand up, slowly, and rested it on Remus’ face. It wasn’t light, he couldn’t do half touches. It was solid, warm, real. Not a tickling touch that made him twitch, or a brush by that stole the very breath from his lungs. The positive response affirmed his will power, and he leaned up onto his tip toes. Remus looked absolutely stunned, but he didn’t pull away, he couldn’t if he tried. His breath caught in his throat as the elder glanced down, an unmistakable look to his lips.

Had Remus always had those green flecks in his eyes?

And he kissed him. Janus surged forward, pressing their lips together harsher than he’s intended, pulling a small gasp out of Remus. There was a whoop from the vague direction of where they’d parked, followed by a loud smack, and Janus couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips.

Remus’ hands were clasped at his chest, unmoving, probably afraid that if he touched Janus wrong, this would all be over. He’d have to explain half touches later. For now, he took one of his hands in his free one and guided it around, pushing it into the small of his back until Remus got the message to keep that pressure. He let out a small sigh through his nose, an action that sent a new round of butterflies exploding in the younger’s stomach.

This is okay. 

This is all going to be okay.

[badbhye]

feels like summer (m)

You only have one question on your mind this summer: when did Jeon Jungkook get abs?

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: neighbor au, smut, fluff, angst (if u squint)

warnings:  alcohol mention, drinking, explicit sexual content; voyeurism, masturbation, fingering, dom/sub-themes, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, oral sex (m/f receiving), throat fucking, cum play, grinding, gagging, oc has a muscle kink, jungkook’s character doing a whole 180 halfway through the plot

word count: 16.6k

A/N: This was originally written for the BSC Drabble Exchange and obviously I’m two months late...but also....this spiraled out of drabble territory so fast. But to the person who originally requested this, I hope you see it and enjoy it! Please don’t forget to send in some feedback, and I apologize for any mistakes!

"You're drooling a little there," Yoongi mumbles, nudging your arm.

"Will you shut up," you glare, trying to focus on the article you're supposed to be reviewing but it's difficult. How can you focus on Market Upheavals when Jeon Jungkook is doing pull-ups in his backyard.

You don't know how it happened but when you came back home from college one fine day, Jungkook had just changed. He wasn't just the kid who stuck to your brother like a second skin, following him around like a lost puppy anymore. He had grown up. A little too much, you think to yourself when he lifts his shirt to wipe the sweat that had collected on his forehead. You think you're mistaken, but you catch him looking right where you're sitting, and when he does, you have to hold back the jolt of shivers that threaten to go down your spine.

"Hey, hyung," he calls, waving his hand to Yoongi before making his way over the short fence. "I wanted to ask if I could go over some of my compositions with you later."

"Yeah, stop by sometime before 8, my shift starts at 11," Yoongi responds without looking up from his phone. Jungkook lets out a non-committal hum in acknowledgment before he leans over to you, invading your personal space so all you can see is his sweaty torso. Your eyes budge at the way his muscles flex and follow the way a drop of sweat trails down the side of his jaw, down to his neck. He's so close you can feel his breath on your skin, his eyes noting your reactions and you swear you see a corner of his lips twitch. "Noona," he says, voice lower than normal. Your eyes jolt to meet his own, mouth suddenly very dry.

"You're sitting on my towel," he points towards the offending cloth placed snugly between the dock chair and your thighs.

"Oh," you let out, voice uncharacteristically weak but you comply nonetheless, moving so he can slide it out from under you. He grazes the skin of your thigh lightly, and you know he's doing it on purpose. You don't know when he got so bold, last time you were home he'd barely even look at you for more than a minute before he was reduced to a blushing, stuttering mess.

But that was two summers ago and the scrawny, awkward boy you used to know is no longer there.

All too soon, he shuffles back as if the interaction never happened. You're ashamed enough to peek a glance at Yoongi, who is still focused on his phone. If he noticed anything, he's feigning ignorance which you're thankful for. When Jungkook's done obnoxiously drying off the sweat off his body, going as far as to take off his shirt completely and flinging the flimsy cloth on his shoulder as he finishes drying his hair. You're left in utter shock, shamelessly ogling his movements, especially the way his shoulder blades flex with every shift of his arms. When he bids goodbye to Yoongi with a promise to meet up later, he turns once more to catch your gaze. His expression dancing with playful mirth, "Bye, noona!" He calls, almost sweetly, and you gulp. When he's gone, you feel like you can finally breathe again, you turn towards the dreaded article you should have been done analyzing by now when you notice Yoongi's eyes on you.

"What do you want?" You say, not sparing him a glance.

"You know..." he yawns a little, almost bored. "I really didn't need to see you and Jeon eye-fucking each other like that," moving to leave his spot on the adjacent dock chair.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you try to busy yourself once again but the flush of your cheeks gives you away. Plus, it's Yoongi. You could never hide anything from him, even if you wanted to.

"Please," he rolls his eyes. "Cut the crap, you think I don't know about your little crush on him?"

You can't help but sputter at his blunt words though it shouldn't be surprising to you anymore. He doesn't wait on you to answer him before he makes his way back inside and you try to focus on your work again — the keyword being try.

 The list of work you'd made when you were feeling especially productive glares at you from your desk. Clearly, the thought of being ahead in your classes, or even catching up to your current courses was not something you'd be able to pull off this time. The reason for this belated realization: Jeon Jungkook. It wasn't as if you weren't used to him being at your house all the time, you'd practically grown up together. Well, in the neighborly sense. He never spent too much time with you, opting to accompany Yoongi instead. You always wondered whether the boy had an issue with you, maybe he just didn’t like you. It never bothered you too much, you had eventually brushed it off because you had your own thing going on. It wasn't until high school that you and Yoongi's social circles merged but Jungkook still kept his distance.

But now, it's like he's always there. Always in your field of vision. It's not like you try to seek him out (you tell yourself) but it's like he knows where you'll be. It's almost domestic seeing him help your mother bring in the groceries or mowing the yard for your father. And when you pass by him, he always makes sure to acknowledge you, and boy, do you. Ever since he's grown out of his lanky body and filled out a bit more, he's started wearing more form-fitting clothes. Like the white shirt, he's wearing right now. He's been watering the plants in his backyard and because of the heat today washed himself off too. You're conveniently sitting on your porch, laptop in tow but you're not working. How can you when you have the perfect view of how the material of his shirt sticks to his abdomen. The only question in your mind right now is when did Jungkook get abs? You haven't been away from home for that long... or maybe you just didn't notice before. Just then, he lifts his wet shirt over his head and you find it impossible that you couldn't have noticed. And you swear he maintains eye contact with you when he does it, the fucker even has the audacity to smirk.

The silent staring contest is shattered when Yoongi comes out, probably trying to sneak a smoke before your mom gets home.

"I really can't get a moment of peace, can I?" He settles against the porch railing, fishing a cigarette out of his pocket.

You and me both, you begrudgingly think but you keep that thought to yourself, forcing your eyes away from Jungkook to look at Yoongi instead.

"What's up?" You ask, concern evident in your voice. Yoongi wasn't one to complain.

He takes a long drag. "They're giving me overtime for the entire week...won't have time to compose."

You frown, Yoongi barely had any free time on his hands. He worked at the local radio station during the dead hours of the night along with helping out your mom with any housework and composing music whenever he could on top of it all. You feel terrible because you're barely home because of college and you know that's affected Yoongi. You're aware that he most likely regrets dropping out but you know it wasn't his calling. He was wasting his talents by sticking to studying business so you still support his decision. But, maybe staying home wasn't as good as you thought it would be for him. If you could take his place, you would in a heartbeat but you know he'd never let you. He was always like that.

"If you need any help..." You offer, but you know your attempt is futile, "I can take mom out for errands when I'm here."

"Do you think she'll let you drive Petunia?" He laughs, putting out the cigarette before he's even done smoking half of it.

"I'm good at driving," you defend yourself. You admit you were never the best driver but you had gotten your license fair and square.

"I'm happy you want to help," your mother says placing heaps of food onto a plate she especially prepared for Jungkook. "But I'd rather you not drive my car."

You glare at Yoongi when he laughs at your expense.

"I have a license," you remind them quickly but all it does is give a non-committal hum from your mother. It’s rather embarrassing to have your family ridicule your driving skills, especially when Jungkook’s joined you for dinner tonight.

“I’m happy to help out,” Jungkook meekly pipes in. “I drive my dad’s truck for errands all the time, so it won’t be an issue.”

“You’re such a helpful young boy, any girl would be lucky to snatch you up,” your mother coos, ruffling his hair causing him to let out a small laugh, briefly meeting your eyes before he’s too busy trying to keep your mother from adding even more food onto his plate.

The subject on your part, unfortunately, is dropped for the moment and you angrily eat the rest of your dinner.

A couple of days go by and you've forgotten about the whole thing altogether. You find yourself busy with yet another reading you had until you hear your mom come through the front door.

"Just set these here, sweetie," she motions towards the counter in the kitchen. And in tow, you see none other than Jungkook carrying three big bags of groceries with such ease. You don't know if you're jealous that he can carry that much in one go when it probably would take you two trips, but you can't lie and say you didn't just ogle at the way the muscles of his arms flex.

"So, they said the shipment of those Torx screwdrivers were coming in at 4, so they should have them by now," your mother informs him while she's unloading the fresh produce.

"Ah, I can go now then," Jungkook responds, putting the cereal away. By spending so much time here, he'd become to familiarise himself with how things were in your house. He probably had a whole system set up by the way he was moving so quickly. You manage to bring your focus back to your work successfully, although it proves to be a difficult feat. It isn't until you hear your mother call out your name that your focus breaks once more.

"___," she repeats, coming into the living room where you're seated. "I need you to go run some errands with Jungkook."

Your head whips up so fast you almost give yourself whiplash. "H-huh? Didn't you just get the groceries?"

Your mother pins you with a look that indicates not to ask questions. "You said you wanted to help out around the house."

The complaint that threatens to spill out is quickly stopped in its tracks when you see the expectant look on Jungkook's face when he peeks in from the kitchen. Your resolve is so easy to break. You huff, roughly putting away your books before you go to put on some shoes — you can't look too eager now.

It's silent in the car for a couple of minutes, but it's a long drive. Leave it to your mom to stay loyal to the hardware store that's all the way across town. It's a little awkward sitting in close quarters with Jungkook after the way you've been thinking about him these days...you almost feel guilty. So, you focus on the radio instead, listening to whatever mindless pop song that plays next. It's when Jungkook clears his throat when he's stopped at the red light, slowly lowering the volume of the radio that you're reminded of your situation. You're alone with Jungkook.

"So," he begins, eyeing you briefly, "How have you been, noona?"

You peer over at him, "Oh...um same old, I guess."

He hums, "...Are you still seeing uh, Joonho?"

"Junho," you correct him. "And no, we split after he graduated."

"Oh good," he mumbles under his breath but backtracks immediately when he realizes you heard him. "Ah, I mean I hope you're doing good after the split..."

"Nice save," you chuckle as he rubs the shell of his ears nervously. "I'm fine," you clarify, eyeing the radio. "It was a mutual decision."

When he doesn't respond, you sigh, moving to turn up the volume again so you don't have to deal with the silence. Jungkook's just doing your mom a favor anyway, it's not like he wants to be alone with you.

Soon enough, you become hyper-aware of the fact that Jungkook is in the car with you and god, why did the hardware store have to be all the way across town? You stare at him from the corner of your eye but have to stop yourself when your thoughts start going south once again.

"So," you clear your throat, talking loud enough so he can hear you over the radio. "How have you been?" You redirect his question back to him. "How's college been?"

"Oh, um," Jungkook stammers a bit as if he's embarrassed. "I'm thinking of dropping out..."

You shut the radio at that and turn to face him completely, "Why?"

He looks over to you at your bluntness. "Huh?"

"Jeon Jungkook, please don't tell me you're dropping out because Yoongi did," you accuse, sounding almost angry.

"Noona, how could you think so lowly of me?" He pouts. "It was just something I was thinking about," he admits, turning to park the car.

"This isn't something you can just do, Jungkook," you explain. "It's a big decision that has real consequences...have you talked to anyone about this?"

"No..." he mumbles, "You're the first one to know."

You sigh, putting a hand on his knee. Immediately, he stiffens under your hold so you begin to move away but he quickly takes a hold of your hand before you can. There's silence for a minute until you very awkwardly clear your throat.

"Jungkook," you begin, "Are you happy?"

"What do you mean?" His eyes widen at your very personal question.

"I mean...are you happy with what you're doing, is it your own decision or did something happen?" You switch your words around because you realize Jungkook probably wouldn't want to tell you something as personal as this.

He stays silent for a while, contemplating what to say, his eyes not leaving your hands, he intertwines his fingers with yours without thought. Your breath hitches but you don't pull away...it feels nice.

"I don't know," he admits, a little wistfully.

You frown and wait for him to continue, thumb rubbing soothing circles on his hand.

"I just think I'm doing something wrong, wasting my father's money...especially after-" he catches himself before he can tell you the extent of his problems. Clearing his throat, he looks away but doesn't let go of your hand. "It's nothing," he concludes.

"It isn't nothing," you defend him. "Jungkook, I understand if you're uncomfortable with me because we've never been close, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, okay?" You pass a reassuring smile at him. "I care about you a lot, you're like a...brother to me."

You feel gross lying to him like that but you need to put your needs aside, Jungkook's wellbeing is way more important than some sexual fantasy. But to your surprise, he doesn't respond the way you thought he would, at most you expected him to shyly laugh. Instead, his brows furrow, and he frowns. He doesn't say anything, just lets go of your hand and moves to get out of the car. You don't dwell on it too much because just then you receive a text from your mother.

 Honey, I forgot the coffee your brother likes, would you please grab it on your way back?

 "Hey, I'm going next door," you call out to Jungkook as you get out of the car. You're a little thankful that you don't have to be next to Jungkook because, right now, all you can think of the way he reacted. It was probably the most aggravated you'd seen him react in such close quarters. You quickly grab the brand of coffee Yoongi prefers and continue to browse the aisles of the store, not really paying attention to what you're looking at.

"Can't decide between boxers or briefs?" Jungkook chuckles and you flush a deep crimson.

You hadn't realized you were staring at men's underwear.

"...It's for Yoongi?" You grimace, already regretting your words as you're saying them.

Jungkook bursts into loud laughter, nose scrunching and all. You can't help but smile at that, glad that the tension has ebbed away.

"Okay, the jig is up!" You raise your hands in surrender. "...I wear men's underwear."

"That's sexy, noona," Jungkook grins leaning down so the two of you are eye to eye.

Your laugh dies in your throat because, once again, you find Jungkook in your personal space. You can't stop the way you inhale sharply, eyeing at how close his lips are to your own. He's so close, you can feel his breath on your skin, and you're sure he can feel yours on his too. It feels like forever before he moves back, but not before his own eyes fall down to your lips. The corners of his lips lightly lift in a smile smiles before he breaks the moment and walks towards the counter. You meekly follow behind, clutching the coffee tightly in your grasp, mind still reeling from what just happened.

You're dazed. The ride back doesn't even seem that long compared to the ride there. You lean back on your seat, head leaning against the window, focusing on the low hum of the music.

"You're wrong, noona," Jungkook says after a couple of silent minutes go by. You peer at him in question, silently urging him to continue.

"I'm not uncomfortable with you," he turns to look at you before eyeing the road again. You hum in acknowledgment, "That's nice to hear, Kook."

It's silent again but you hear Jungkook mumble something so softly you think you might've been mistaken.

"I care a lot about you too."

 After the whole grocery store ordeal, you notice Jungkook begins to spend a little more time with you. He still retreats to Yoongi like before, but it's still progress in your books.

You're lounging around when Jungkook comes by and takes a seat close to you, he doesn't say anything but smiles in lieu of a greeting.

"What's up?" You ask, eyes not leaving your phone. Not that you're doing much on it anyway, you'd just gotten done feeding your virtual cats. "If you're waiting on Yoongi, he's out...probably with Namjoon," you continue.

"I wanted to spend time with you," Jungkook admits, a shy smile playing on his lips.

That's one thing you appreciate, as much as Jungkook has weakened your resolve a significant amount, there are still moments where you see the same lanky, shy boy you admire so much. Or maybe you just like to see him squirm.

"Sure, what do you wanna do?" You look away from your phone to smile at him. The two of you had hung out a handful of times after the car ride, and it ended up being quite nice. You realized that you two had a lot more in common than you originally thought.

"It's nice out today so why don't we go out for a walk?" He suggests.

"You trying to get me to exercise more, Jeon?" You tease, peering out the window to assess the damage you'll be suspecting yourself to.

“Come on, noona, you've been cooped up in here ever since you've come home,” Jungkook whines, poking at your side. “You're getting lazy.”

“Hey, I am not cooped up in here, and this is my vacation, I deserve to be lazy,” you playfully glare from your spot on the couch, laying back further so your legs are spread on his thighs.

He laughs but doesn't make you move your legs off him. Instead, he places his hands on your knees and slowly begins to massage them. You try to feign ignorance to his touch, to keep your eyes glued to anything but him or his hands but it becomes so difficult when one of his hands moves up to your thighs, fingers putting light pressure on the muscle as they slowly begin trailing up your legs.

You don't move, eyes transfixed to the way his fingers ghost the skin of your thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Even though you try to act like his touch doesn't affect you, your body immediately betrays you when a shudder wracks through you. And you swear you see the corners of Jungkook's mouth lift a little before you awkwardly cough, disrupting the moment.

"The only way you'll have me outside is if you carry me the whole way," you decide.

"I'll happily carry you, noona!" Jungkook laughs, grabbing your hand to pull you up. You greatly misjudge his strength and in a blink of an eye, he has you sitting up and trapped in his grasp. Your eyes widen in shock at your sudden close proximity and you nervously clear your throat before scampering to your feet.

"Let's go then," you briskly walk towards the entrance to put on your shoes.

 Once you're standing on the street you grew up in, you turn back to Jungkook who had wordlessly followed your lead. "So, where are you taking me?"

Jungkook laughs nervously before taking ahold of your hand and dragging you towards the park at the end of the street.

"Are you seriously taking me to the park," you laugh as you let him drag you. His pace is faster than yours so you have to move quickly to keep up with his long legs.

"Jungkook! Hold on," you pant, pulling at his wrist to make him stop in his tracks. He looks back and flushes. “Sorry noona,” he responds, slowing his pace to walk in sync next to you but not letting go of your hand.

It’s when you reach the middle of the park that you let go and take a seat on one of the swings.

“God, I haven’t been here in so long,” you say, sitting limply on the swing.

“You haven’t been back in so long,” Jungkook says, taking a seat on the swing next to yours.

“Okay, that’s fair,” you quip, giving him a side-eye before smiling. “I had different plans for the future back then.”

“With Junho?” Jungkook asks, a little cautious when you don’t respond immediately.

“...Yeah,” you say, kicking your legs so you start swinging slowly.

“What happened between the two of you?” He asks, “I mean, you don’t have to tell me unless you want to,” he stammers, backpedaling a little.

“It’s okay, Kook,” you reassure him. “We just grew apart. Fell out of love, I guess,” you try to explain. “It was a good relationship but we were in different places in our lives, so we decided to break up. Simple,” you shrug.

“What about you, though,” you peer over to him. “You got stuff out of me, it’s your turn now.”

“That’s fair,” he chuckles, kicking his legs so he’s swinging too. “What do you want to know?”

“Why are you considering dropping out?” You turn to face him once the swing stops.

“Wow… you’re blunt, noona.”

“I don’t beat around the bush,” you sniff and wait for him to continue.

Jungkook chuckles, ruffling his hair, “I think I’m gonna end up being a disappointment.”

“Jungkook…” you begin, actually surprised to hear those words from him. “I don’t think you can be more wrong, you know Yoongi’s been telling me just how talented you are for years. He barely calls or texts when I’m not home and when he does, it’s always to tell me how proud he is of you.”

He’s silent for a while, letting the swing stop on its own before he looks up at you again. “Have you heard any of it?”

“I haven’t,” you respond, moving to get off the swing. “Come on, there’s a place I want to go to.”

You two walk towards the trees that line one side of the park, leading to a clearing surrounded by a thicker layer of foliage. It’s a comfortable sort of silence that sits between you as you make your way through the path. When you reach the familiar tree, you smile, moving to sit where you used to spend most of your evenings as a child, Jungkook gingerly taking a seat next to you.

“You remember this place,” he says after a few moments.

“Uh, this is my spot,” you clarify, pointing towards the tree bark where fourteen year old you had carved out your initials.

“Sorry to say, noona, but you’ve been gone too long,” Jungkook sniffs, motioning towards another carving on the tree trunk. You follow his movements and see another dull indentation of the initials “JK”, not far from your own.

“Jungkook, how could you!” You say trying to sound angry, even though the telltale signs of a smile started ghosting your lips. “How dare you not follow the sacred rules of finders keepers losers weepers!”

Jungkook laughs, shrugging. “It’s free real estate, plus I hung out here just as often as you did.”

“Oh yeah, this is where you’d follow me to and then ignore me all day,” you laugh, remembering all the times you’d sit by the tree to read whatever trashy romance novel you’d stolen from your friend’s mom’s closet and he’d come by, sitting on the opposite end, doing whatever he always did. You’d barely talk, you’d sometimes offer him a juice box and he’d sometimes place a peanut butter sandwich next to you before scurrying off. The both of you chuckle together, reminding each other of memories you’d shared there until you fall into another comfortable silence.

 “I want to, by the way,” you say, when the sun starts to set, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. “Listen to your music,” you clarify when he raises a brow in question. “I know it’s a very personal thing to ask for, and even Yoongi barely lets me listen to his pieces, but I’d like to,” you smile, resting your hand on the plush grass, watching the way your fingers are swallowed by the long blades. “If you’d let me.”

Jungkook smiles, cheeks dusting a light pink before he places his hand on yours. “I’d like that.”

It's dark out by the time you get home but it feels like barely any time had passed. You're fairly certain that nobody's home but that doesn't stop you from calling out when you slip off your shoes.

"In here," you hear Yoongi's voice from the living room.

"Don't you have work tonight?" You ask when you spot him lounging on the sofa. You stop in your tracks when you notice Hoseok's presence.

"When did you get here?" You gush, running to crush him in a hug.

"Picked him up an hour ago," Yoongi responds before Hoseok can answer you, though you doubt he'd be able to because you still have him tight in your grasp.

"If you missed me this much, babe, why don't we take this to the bedroom?" Hoseok chuckles, swiftly dodging the pillow Yoongi throws his way. You laugh, used to Hoseok's incessant flirting, almost missing it.

"Why don't you take me right here, right now," you challenge, taking a seat.

"God, if you guys were gonna be fucking gross, I wouldn't have brought him here," Yoongi groans, grimacing at your shameless flirting.

"It's been a while, hyung," another voice calls, and that's when you remember Jungkook was here too. He's still standing in the doorway, face impassive, a clear contrast to how he was smiling at you just moments ago.

"Jungkook! How've you been?" Hoseok goes to give him a hug, you don't miss the way Jungkook's eyes meet yours in their embrace.

Hoseok promptly takes a seat next to you, grabbing your ankles so your legs rest over his lap.

"How long are you here for, Hobi?" You stretch your legs a little more.

"Hmm, probably for two weeks? I'm giving a class in the studio, also have to visit my sister."

"Oh, is Jiwoo still married?"

"Thankfully," he huffs, "Otherwise she'd be stuck up my ass all the time."

"That's a shame," you hum, "Let her know whenever she's ready to leave that husband of hers, I'll be waiting."

"So, you're gonna cheat on me...with my own sister?" He jokingly accuses, already closing the distance between the two of you.

“How else will I bring drama into my life?” You justify as he pulls you closer to grab hold of your waist and begin his attack.

Your cries are violent as you immediately thrash in his hold, tears streaming down your face as you can't hold back your laughter. In the midst of all the chaos, nobody notices Jungkook leave.

  A couple of days go by and you don't see Jungkook as often anymore. Sure, you catch him doing some chores here and there but it's not the same. Shockingly, you've been significantly more productive these days with most of the list crossed out already. So, there's not much left to do. So you decide to do the first thing that comes to mind — barge into Yoongi's room. Surprisingly, he's awake and flinches when he hears the door burst open. You ignore his curses and ungracefully flop down on his bed.

"What do you want?" He sneers from his place on the desk, headphones propped away from his ears so he can hear you.

"I'm bored," you sniff, turning to face him.

"The fuck should I do then?"

"When did you get so boring?" You whine. "Let's get drunk or something...since Hoseok's here too," you reason.

"Yeah, we could..." he says, eyes going back to his laptop screen. "But I think I've seen you and Jung hook up enough to last me a lifetime."

"You know he'd blow you before he'd as much as kiss me," you challenge, laughing when he bristles at your words.

"Get the fuck out of my room!"

You easily dodge the balls of dirty socks he flings your way, laughing as you make your way out of his room.

It's a pleasant night and you find yourself sitting in your backyard once again, drinking wine you swiped from your mother's stash. It's quiet, and you're humming to yourself, enjoying the buzz of alcohol in your veins. That's when you see Jungkook in his own backyard and you wave him over, showcasing the bottle of wine as temptingly as you can.

"You know I got that for your mom," Jungkook takes a seat next to you, but still takes the bottle from you.

"Are you trying to woo my mother?" You raise an eyebrow, trying to bite back a smile.

"I plan on becoming your second dad by the end of the year," he takes a swig, grimacing at the bitter taste.

"Well, I'd suggest you get Pinot Noir and I guarantee you'll have her by the end of the month," you wink, taking the bottle back.

He laughs and the two of you settle into a comfortable silence, passing the bottle back and forth until it's half empty. The headiness of the wine finally gets to you and you begin to sway a little.

"Where were you?" You ask rather bluntly.

"I was here," he responds, confused at your sudden question.

"No," you sigh, pushing the stray hair out of your face. "I mean...were you avoiding me or something?"

"N-no," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "...Okay, maybe a little."

You scoff, appalled at his answer. "You know you could have just lied so I wouldn't feel bad," You sniff, turning away from him. "What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything, I just..." he clears his throat, and it feels like you're back at square one when he couldn't hold a conversation with you for the life of him. "I just needed some time."

"Oh," you respond, taking his words a little differently. "I get it, Kook, everyone needs time."

"Noona, I don't think you do," he sighs, not looking at you. "I've actually been meaning to talk to you for a while...I just-" He pauses when you put a reassuring hand on his knee, you would've aimed for his shoulder but you're practically slumped in your chair. He pauses, staring at your hand for a moment before he threads his fingers with yours, soothingly rubbing patterns on the back of your palm. You take the time to look at his face then, the way his hair bounces over his eyes, you can't help but follow the slope of his nose and direct your attention to his lips. You must be blatantly staring because he notices when you begin to sit up straight. You can't help yourself when your drunken mind can only focus on how beautiful he looks in the moonlight. His eyes also soften looking at you and you swear you catch his gaze drop to your lips.

"Noona," he whispers, "I-"

You swear he's moving closer and you can't help but lean in until you're only inches apart. Your breath hitches. "Yeah?" you ask, peering up at him. He gulps at your sudden close proximity, his eyes falling down to your lips before he catches your gaze once again.

"Noona, I-" He begins again but he's cut off by your blaring ringtone which somehow is still Apple Bottom Jeans like it's been for the past eight years. You almost fall back trying to answer the call, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"H-Hoseok!" you shout. "Shit, I was gonna call you later, wait, Jungkook's here too let me put you on speaker!"

"Kook! Where've you been?" Hoseok's voice drifts over, a little static from the signal.

"Ah, just busy, hyung," Jungkook meekly replies.

"Don't work yourself too hard, kid," Hoseok chuckles, "Enjoy your youth!"

"Stop talking like you're an old man, it makes me feel old," you tease, "Jungkook's a good kid so the last thing he needs is you to influence him." You reach out to ruffle Jungkook's hair affectionately but he doesn't return your affection with a smile as you expected, instead, you see his jaw clench before he lets go of your hand.

"Oh, so you think I'm a bad influence?" Hoseok asks, trying to sound appalled. "When you sound drunk, ___, did you give the kid alcohol?"

"No," you hiccup. "Technically he gave it to my mom and I stole it from her!"

"Who's really the bad influence then, babe," Hoseok laughs.

You lean back in your chair, drunkenly laughing.

“But listen,” Hoseok continues once you've calmed down. “I’m calling because I heard someone can't get enough alcohol in her system.”

“So drinking my problems away is wrong when I do it?”

“Aw, you can drink as much as you want, babe,” Hoseok chuckles. “Namjoon and I are throwing a party at your request.”

“Wait,” you jolt up. “You got Namjoon to agree? Mr. I have a 9 to 5 job and too many Bonsai tree children to feed.”

“Well...it’s more of a hangout,” his voice changing in pitch at the last word. “But I’m sure I can pull some strings for you...I can do anything for you, babe,” Hoseok adds, still laughing at your Namjoon impression

“Mm, that sounds hot Jung,” you coolly respond, moving to take another swig of wine but you can't find the bottle. When you turn to ask Jungkook, you see him taking a long swig, finishing off the remaining wine.

“Jungkook that doesn’t come cheap, you know?” You berate, frowning at the lack of wine in the bottle.

“I know,” he huffs, leaning back on the dock chair. “I am the one who bought it."

"Will I be expecting to see you there, kid?" Hoseok's voice calls out. "Because it seems like you need a drink too."

"Yeah, sure," Jungkook responds. "See you later, hyung, I'm heading out."

"Wait, Jungkook," you call out with a playful lilt to your tone. "You're leaving after you buy a girl a drink? That's not how it goes!"

To your dismay, Jungkook doesn't turn back or even acknowledge you as he walks back to his side of the fence.

"Don't tease him, ___," you hear Hoseok's laugh from the static of your phone, making you flinch at your forgotten company.

"So it's okay when you do it but not when I do it?" You repeat your earlier words. "You know what they call that, Jung? Sexism."

"No, you dumbass," Hoseok groans. "I mean don't lead him on."

"Wait what?" You sputter. "How are you calling me a dumbass when you're the one saying something like that!"

"Come on, ___," Hoseok sighs. "The kid literally wears his heart on his sleeve, it's harder not to notice."

"Why do I feel too drunk for this but also in need of a drink after hearing this," you groan, leaning back. "Don't play tricks on a woman when she's drunk, Hoseok. You should know this."

"That's called alcoholism," Hoseok easily responds. "And ___, trust me, everyone can see it. But I guess you're just not ready to have that conversation."

You're at a loss for words after hearing that. What the fuck? You're brought out of your panicked thoughts when your phone vibrates in your hand, only then realizing that Hoseok had hung up on you.

"That damn Aquarius," you mumble to yourself as you scroll through your phone to check the aforementioned text message.

 Hoseok [23:18]: Everyone can see you too, but you aren't ready for that conversation either.

“___,” you hear your mother call. “Can you give this to Jungkook before he leaves?”

"He's here?" You peer over your mother's shoulder as she packs dinner for him inside some tupperware. "I haven't seen him around."

"Oh he mentioned coming by to see Yoongi, as usual, he should be in his room I suppose," she hands you the box before making her way out of the kitchen. "And remind Yoongi to eat something, he's been cooped up in his room all day!"

You begrudgingly make your way to Yoongi's bedroom, knowing well that he dislikes it when you barge in when he's working so you decide to do the decent thing, and barge in.

"What the fuck do you want now?" He seethes, whipping his head around to glare at you. You mindlessly peer around his room and huff. "Jungkook's not here?"

"No," Yoongi says, turning back to face the glowing screen of his computer once more. "He didn't show today."

"Huh," you hum. "Well, don't rot away in front of your computer screen, take a shower," you scrunch your nose in disgust. "And eat something so you don't die before you get to drunkenly make out with Hoseok."

You're quick to make your exit before you can hear Yoongi's retort. You end up busying yourself in your room for the next couple of hours, humming the tune you've heard come out of Yoongi's room for the past two days as you work, happy that you're actually getting something done for a change. It's when you lean back to stretch your stiff back that you realize that the sun is close to setting.

"So you showered," you grin at Yoongi when you enter the kitchen. Leaning down next to him, you steal some food off his plate. He passes you a glare before shoveling more into his mouth. "Jungkook still not here?" You ask, looking for the tupperware your mom had given you earlier.

It's Yoongi's turn to smirk now. "Why do you care so much?"

You snort at his words, "I'm just asking because mom told me to give him some dinner. Guess I'll have to go next door."

"Yeah the only dinner you'll be serving him is your —"

You've shut the door before Yoongi can finish that sentence, grateful that he doesn't get to see the growing blush on your cheeks.

You peer over to Jungkook's backyard, hoping to see him outside but it's empty. Huffing about the fact that you'll have to go to his house, the conversation you had with Hoseok still running in the back of your mind.

Shaking yourself out of it, you trudge your way across the fence but you once again find yourself nervous. Nervous that you're going to be seeing him.

You hadn't seen Jungkook much after the night you'd gotten drunk together. You'd think he was purposefully avoiding you, but you also know that he'd been helping his father with work for the past few days and had seen him through the window once or twice. Other than that, you'd had no contact with him.

You frown, standing outside the back entrance of the house, unsure of what you should do.

Confused about whether you should go to the front door and ring the doorbell or just go through the backdoor, leave the food in the kitchen and make a prompt exit. You snort, what the hell were you doing? This nervousness was so unlike you, you're always the one with the upper hand, you're an adult for god's sake, and you're far above this coy behavior. With a sudden burst of confidence, you push back your doubts and quickly find yourself inside the kitchen. Peering around, you don't spot Jungkook anywhere, not even his parents but that's not out of the ordinary, they're usually not home around this time anyway. You decide to leave the food out in the living room instead, where he'll spot it quicker. Deciding to send a quick text letting him know that you stopped by, you're about to leave until you're stopped in your tracks.

It's a dull thump that causes you to pause, making you peer in the direction of the noise in confusion. It's repetitive, coming from down the hall. Jungkook's probably working out, you think to yourself. His muscles didn't just pop out of nowhere after all. Deciding to walk further, you're met with a sliver of light falling on the floor, faintly lighting up the otherwise dark hallway.

 That's when you hear it.

 You're far too close when you realize — you would have never come if you had known (you tell yourself). Though you don't stop walking until you see the girl who's caught your attention. Her wails much clearer now that you're closer. "F-fuuuck, Jungkook," she cries, voice breaking at every syllable.

Jungkook is towering over her form, legs propped on his shoulder as he pushes into her. His occasional grunts taking away your focus, his voice reverberating through the walls and sending shivers down your spine. It takes all of your strength to keep standing at the scene, your mind screaming at you to make a move, to leave but your body stays rooted in place, taking in every detail of the scene in front of you. You're too shocked to take a breath as you see the way his muscles flex at every movement he makes, the way he so easily contorts the girl's body, drilling into her as she shrieks in pleasure. Soon enough, he has her flipped over on all fours with great ease, her head pushing down into the mattress. Your eyes barely rest on her until your eyes find their way back to him. A wrack of shivers goes down your spine once again when you notice the way begins plowing into her, with even more vigor than before. The way his jaw is clenched, letting out a grunt every time his cock is deeply lodged into her. Your eyes follow the sweat dripping down his forehead, down to his neck, following down until you see the ridges of his built form. When you look up to him again, it takes all your power not to fall down to your knees when you realize that he's looking right at you.

You gasp when he pushes her head further down into the mattress, her moans now muffled by the linen underneath. His grunts are the only thing you can hear now, sounding deep and guttural every time he pushes back in. His pace is faster, stronger and it feels like you can feel the way his cock pushes in. The way he's looking at you, it's like he's fucking you and not the girl who's currently blubbering underneath him.

Your thighs rub together at the sudden need for friction. Jungkook's eyes follow your movements, a smirk filling his features. "You like the way I'm fucking you?" He asks through clenched teeth, pushing into the hilt and pressing his pelvis into the back of her thighs.

"Mmf, yes," the girl grits out. "I love the way your cock is fucking me!"

Although she's the one answering him, you know the question was directed to you as his eyes haven't left you yet, even for a second. His hum of approval has your knees shaking and you swear your panties are sticking to you uncomfortably. You're shocked you haven't made a sound even though your breathing is labored, heart-rate accelerated. You must have gone completely insane to still be standing here when you know Jungkook is aware of your presence.

"Jungkook!" The girl cries, her legs shaking. "I'm gonna cum!"

"Come on, baby girl," Jungkook grunts, pushing into her even further. "Cum all over my cock."

It's like you're in a trance, following the way he moves his hands between her legs, making her cries get louder and shakier. At this point, its Jungkook holding the poor girl up as he drills into her. Her moans increase in pitch and it would honestly bother you but you're far too distracted looking at Jungkook that you don't even notice her cum. It's only when his own hips stutter and his head falls back that you get ahold of yourself.

As quietly as you can, with shaky knees, you make it out of his house and back to your room. Your heart hammering in your chest because you just saw Jungkook fuck the life out of some girl. Oh my god, you just saw Jungkook fuck the life out of some girl! Jungkook, your neighbour, the kid who idolizes your brother. Jungkook, who was always too shy to talk to you, who'd always get red-faced when you were around. Jungkook, who works out in his backyard. Jungkook, who sometimes holds your hand. Jungkook, who apparently can fuck the soul out of you. You shudder at that thought, your mind reeling from what you just witnessed, the wetness between your thighs still evident. You shake yourself away from wandering thoughts, you can't, you chastise yourself as you bury your face into your pillow. But the image of him doesn't stray from your mind and you feel like your body is working on overdrive, your nerves so sensitive that you can't help but shakily place a hand between your thighs.

"Yoongi's been complaining that you've been inside more than usual," Hoseok takes a seat next to you when you find yourself lounging around your house yet again.

"I've been busy," you quip, eyes not leaving the textbook in your lap.

"Come on!" Hoseok laughs, "Your lack of flirting is worrying, what's up?"

At your non-committal hum of acknowledgment, he yanks the textbook, prying it away from your grabby hands.

"If it takes me longer to graduate, it's going to be your fault, Hoseok," you groan, folding your arms across your chest after a feeble attempt to get your book back.

"___, why are you studying when you're on vacation," he raises an eyebrow. "More importantly, when I'm here?"

"Clearly, you've mistaken me for someone who gives a shit about you, Jung," you retort, "I've been using you to get to your sister this whole time."

Hoseok scoffs at your refusal to comply before bringing a backpack to his lap. That piques your interest as you raise your eyebrow expectantly.

"What's in there?"

"I was going to give this to you as a peace offering, but you're being a little bitch," Hoseok sniffs, taking out a bottle of vodka from the bag.

"I think you're the one pushing me towards alcoholism, Jung," you snort but pause when he takes out a carton of cranberry juice.

"Don't act like you're not the one who got us all booze with your fake ID in high school," he laughs, raising the bottle in his hand. "So let's commemorate and drink cranberry vodka like a bunch of freshmen."

You stare him down for a while before a smile slowly creeps up on your lips.

"God, I really need to stop using alcohol as a crutch," you grin before taking the bottle from his hand.

It's after you've drunk almost half the bottle between the two of you that Yoongi comes home, groaning as he takes off his shoes to announce his arrival.

"Get in here, you toad," you drunkenly giggle, almost sliding off your couch in between. "I have two surprises for you!"

Yoongi slowly makes his way into the living room, a scowl on his face at your obvious inebriated state.

"I'm here. Now give me a drink," he says, making you move so he can wedge himself between you and Hoseok.

"Surprise number one!" You say, handing him a haphazard mixture of vodka and cranberry juice. "And surprise number two!" You shove him lightly so he's even closer to Hoseok. You giggle as he nudges you with his elbow.

"Hoseok's helping me drink my problems away," you say, moving to the adjacent couch when Yoongi won't let you drape your legs across his.

"What problems, noona?" You hear from the doorway and immediately stiffen.

 There is none other than Jungkook, standing at the entrance, innocently smiling at you before he makes his way into the living room.

"Oh yeah, Jungkook's here too," Yoongi says, sipping on his drink and grimacing before shooting you a nasty glare for not putting in enough juice.

"I hope you guys don't mind," Jungkook says before sitting on the couch you're on, a little too close for comfort.

"What were you guys doing?" Hoseok asks, taking Jungkook's attention away from you.

"Yoongi hyung was treating me to dinner for finishing a song," Jungkook says, showcasing his teeth while smiling.

At that moment, you decide that Jungkook is the devil incarnate. He has the audacity to look like the sweet, innocent, helpful Jungkook you've known your whole life. But you know the truth, you know how he is anything but that. You can see through his facade easily, how he has everyone fooled.

He shifts in his spot, causing him to bump his thigh with yours and you immediately clamp your legs shut and move away from him, leaning as close to the corner of the sofa as you can get. You hear him huff but he maintains his distance. Even though there’s about a person’s gap between the two of you, you can still feel the heat radiating from his body.

"You know glaring at your empty cup won't put more alcohol in it," Yoongi says, finishing his own drink before moving to make himself another.

"Uh, yeah," you say, distracted still as you pour a hefty amount of vodka in your cup.

"Slow down, babe," Hoseok snorts at your antics. "What's got your panties in a twist."

"Please don't talk about my sister's panties when I'm here," Yoongi groans.

"He means don't talk about my panties when you can talk about his panties," you smirk, settling back down on the sofa.

"What if I want to talk about your panties, ___?" Comes Jungkook's whispered voice next to you, his breath hitting your neck and you almost choke on your drink, coughing loudly.

"Are you okay, noona?" Jugkook asks, loud enough for everyone to hear this time. "Here, drink some water."

You begrudgingly accept the offered cup and gulp it down so you don't have to look at his face and just recall the way he was looking at you the other night.

"Look at Jungkookie taking care of his noona!" Hoseok drunkenly giggles, slapping Yoongi's arm to get his attention. Hoseok's intentions are as clear as day and you're not amused. You feel even more on edge now, knowing that even Yoongi was in on it — if the smirk on his face was anything to go by.

You hear Jungkook laugh beside you and put an arm around your waist. You jolt up at the contact, feeling extremely sober suddenly.

"Uh...I'm going to the kitchen. Bye," you stammer and run towards your safe haven.

He's the devil, you can't believe you hadn't noticed it before.

"It really is all men," you mutter to yourself, pacing in the kitchen.

"I take it either you and Jungkook finally fucked or that you and Yoongi are fighting...which isn't new or exciting so please tell me you and Jungkook finally fucked," Hoseok says casually as he leans onto the kitchen island.

"No we did not...and will you keep your voice down?" You whisper-shout, peeking into the living room to make sure nobody heard him.

"Then why are you here talking to yourself like a madwoman, are you trying to prove that there are ghosts in this house again because that's not funny and I will scream."

"God, I wish my ghost boyfriend was still here...I miss Taemin," you groan, taking Hoseok's cup and downing it in one go. "He wouldn't torture me like this...why did he have to cross over?"

"You really need to get laid," Hoseok dryly comments. "Especially if you're pining over a clearly non-existent boyfriend."

"Oh my god, Hoseok!" You say, eyes wide as you quickly turn to face him. He flinches ready to get hit with the plastic cup in your hand but instead, you grab both of his shoulders and pull him closer.

"You're right! I do need to get laid...that explains everything," you let go of him and start pacing again. "But the question now is...who?"

"That's easy-"

"Don't you fucking dare, Jung Hoseok," you interrupt, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Don't even try."

"I'm just stating the viable options here."

"I would take this from you any other day, but right now, I need you to help me set up a dick appointment."

"God, we're both not drunk enough for this conversation...and I'm pretty sure I'm seeing double right now," Hoseok slurs a little to accentuate his drunken state.

"It can't be you...because Yoongi would annihilate me," you begin to mutter your thoughts out loud, "Obviously Jungkook is a no go, that's just my sex-deprived brain malfunctioning."

"So you admit it!" Hoseok excitedly shouts, pointing at you with his eyes wide.

"No, shut up!" You gape, pausing in your tracks.

"Something happened, you don't do that weird saying your thoughts out loud thing unless something happened," Hoseok grins. "And don't think I didn't hear that little panties comment he made."

Fuck, it really be your own that betray you, and for you, it's your stupid inebriated self.

"Okay, if I tell you what happened," you begin, inching closer to him. "You have to promise not to laugh at me."

"You know I'm a whore for gossip," he smiles, leaning back to the counter.

"Okay..." You begin, nervously peering at the entrance to make sure that you're both alone. "I may have seen..." You purposefully keep your voice as low as a whisper, as a further precaution. "Jungkook...fucking a girl... and I can't stop thinking about it Hoseok, so you understand the severity of the situation."

He stares at you blankly as his drunken mind processes what you had said to him before, his eyes comically wide, and he barks out a loud laugh.

"Hoseok you promised you wouldn't laugh!" You sniff, looking at him with pleading eyes in hopes that he'll take pity on you.

 He doesn't.

 "Okay, you can't tell me something like that and not give me details... How much did you see? Did you see his dick? What's he like in bed?"

Hoseok's busy listing out detailing questions but you can't hear him anymore as your cheeks heat up at a significant pace when your mind starts to wander...

"Oh my god!" Hoseok balks at you. "You saw all of it didn't you!"

You don't respond, only gulp nervously when your mouth gets too dry.

"Shit, ___, not gonna lie... That's so hot." You see his eyes beginning to crinkle and scamper to shut him up before the man in question hears that you're currently talking about him getting his dick wet in front of you.

 Unfortunately, luck hasn't been on your side for the past couple of days.

"What's hot?" Jungkook says as he peeks his head in the entrance before making his way to where you are awkwardly holding onto Hoseok.

"Kim Taehyung!" You shout the name abruptly before you can even think of an excuse.

"Huh?" Jungkook tilts his head and you have to inhale deeply at the way his hair flops with his movement. Demon, you remind yourself.

"I invited Taehyung to the party this weekend, ___ thinks he's hot," Hoseok winks at you before looking back at Jungkook.

You look between the two of them before quickly stammering, "Uh, yeah! He's really hot... totally fuckable!"

Jungkook looks at you, his face blank before he hums. "I see," he says, before turning to Hoseok. "Yoongi hyung was calling you."

Hoseok passes you an apologetic look before grinning wildly and making his exit — effectively leaving you alone with Jungkook. Fucking Aquarius bastard.

 You awkwardly clear your throat when you notice Jungkook silently looking at you.

"So, Kim Taehyung?" He asks, slowly stepping closer to you.

"Yeah," you stutter, "...Kim Taehyung," backing away from him until the back of your legs hit the counter.

"What about him?" He smirks, eyeing you down and you have to peer up at him to maintain eye contact. Fuck when did he get so tall?

"You know..." you begin, "he's a good looking guy...what can a girl do?" You grimace at your words as they leave your lips but Jungkook doesn't react, just keeps his lazy smirk.

"Hmm… what can a girl do?" He grins, leaning down so he's face to face with you, his breath hitting your face. Your eyes widen before they fall to his lips and your mouth goes dry. You subconsciously lick your lips and his own eyes follow your movements before he moves towards the left to grab a spare mug that was sitting behind you on the counter.

He doesn't wait for your response before he's making his way out of the kitchen and back to the living room to Yoongi and Hoseok... and alcohol. God, you need more alcohol but you really can't make yourself sit in his presence anymore.

"Fuck Jungkook," you angrily mutter as you make your way back to your bedroom before groaning at the choice of words. You slam the door in the midst of your frustrations before launching yourself on the bed.

"I can't believe booze has failed me," you mumble into your pillow before falling into an alcohol-induced sleep.

"You can cancel your party," you say over the phone, in lieu of a greeting right as Hoseok picks up. "I'm quitting alcohol."

"I'm guessing you didn't hydrate last night," Hoseok responds, sounding much better than you.

"I couldn't and you know it!" You seethe, soothing your aching head after downing two pills of aspirin. "Anyway, how do you sound okay, I'm sure you drank way more than me."

"I may or may not have puked my guts out an hour after you left," Hoseok admits, sounding a little ashamed.

"It's what you deserve," you remark blandly, making your way out to the backyard where the warm sun welcomed you. You groan in appreciation of the warm dock chair as you get comfortable. It's only when you open your eyes again, you see Jungkook working out in his backyard once again.

"If there's a god," you mutter to yourself, "When will you let me catch a break?"

"What's up?" you hear Hoseok ask over some crackling, probably making himself breakfast.

"The bane of my existence this summer..." you whisper just in case Jungkook doesn't over-hear even though he's clearly out of earshot — but you can never be too cautious.

"Our little Jungkookie's working out isn't he," Hoseok snickers, "Why don't you just sit back and enjoy the show?"

You hum, "You know what, Hoseok?" you say thoughtfully. "Maybe you're right... maybe I can get some sort of sexual gratification by just staring at him... doing those pull-ups... and then I'll get it out of my system" You silently watch the way his muscles flex every time he does one, getting a full view of those godly pectoral muscles because he decided to forgo a shirt today.

"Clearly, it’s working," Hoseok snorts.

You groan loudly, "It's not fair Hoseok! When did he get the upper hand, how did I let this happen?"

"Come on, ___, you seriously thought Jungkook was gonna stay coy this whole time? The kid's got game, you'd know if you’d come home more often."

"Don't say that! Don't call him a kid when I saw what I saw!" You angrily whisper into the phone.

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy the show." You can practically hear the god-awful smirk accompanying Hoseok's tone.

"This is why men don't deserve rights," you mutter, still angrily staring at Jungkook finishing up his work-out. "Anyway," you sniff, "you owe me a favor."

"And what is that?" He chuckles.

"Call Taehyung to the party for me."

"Oh? So now you're coming to the party?" Hoseok asks. "I thought you swore off alcohol...well you lasted ten minutes, I'm proud of you."

"Just invite him, will you?"

 You’ve managed to successfully avoid Jungkook, occasionally seeing him around the house but your plan was foolproof: flee. But it’s the day of the party and your otherwise foolproof plan is going to fail, because he’ll be there, and you’ll be there, in the same space.

Hoseok [9:45]: I won’t let u in unless u have at least one bottle of booze with u.

Hoseok [9:57]: That was Namjoon but yeah, the rule still stands.

 “I thought this party was for me,” you mutter to yourself as you make your way up the stairs, pulling on your dress nervously after every couple of steps.

You pause when you reach the apartment, a dull throb of music cascading through the walls, staying still for a while before kicking the door once to announce your arrival.

A few seconds go by and you’re ready to kick again but the door swings open to a clearly drunk Namjoon, cradling a bonsai tree close to his chest.

“___!” He grins, pulling you into a tight hug but he misjudges and proceeds to stuff your face in his pit. You awkwardly stand in his grip, letting him hug it out because it’s been a while since you’ve seen him

“Thank god you shower regularly,” you grin at him when he lets you go. “I come bearing gifts,” you hold up the lone bottle in your hand. “So, please put my coat in Hoseok’s room for me.”

“Tequila...” Hoseok slithers his way in at the mention of alcohol. “Someone’s here to make regrets!”

“It’s silver so you better have lemons in your kitchen,” you push past him and are met with enough people to be considered a party and not the hang-out Namjoon had planned.

“So I take it your persuasion worked,” you look at Hoseok as you make your way into the kitchen.

“I told you I’d do anything for you, babe, do I ever disappoint?”

“Okay, get off your high horse,” you jab, rolling your eyes. “Alcohol please,” you cup your palms in front of your chest.

“___,” Hoseok rolls his eyes. “It’s like one foot away from you. Make your own drink.”

“I don’t have my research on me right now but I have proven that your drinks get me drunk faster,” you sniff. “So, alcohol please.”

 Once you’ve downed two shots of tequila and now nurse once of Hoseok’s special drinks, you happily stroll to the living room where you’re met with Yoongi and Namjoon, bonsai plant still in hand.

“What is he doing?” You ask Yoongi in lieu of a greeting as you wedge your way between the two of them on the sofa.

“I’m cradling my daughter,” Namjoon sniffs, gripping the plant closer to his chest. “She can’t fall asleep otherwise.”

You pass Yoongi a look who just shrugs. “I think you have more pressing matters at hand, ___,” he says cocking his head to the side. You follow his line of sight and curse under your breath.

 Lo and behold, Jungkook is already there, surrounded by a bunch of people you recognize as his friends, not like you could recognise anyone besides Park Jimin...and the girl you saw him fucking who is busy clinging onto his arm and laughing at something he just said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say taking a large gulp of your drink. “Anyway, is Taehyung here?”

“Oh god,” Yoongi groans. “Don’t tell me you got Namjoon to agree to a party just so you could schedule a booty call with Taehyung, you know you could just text him instead of orchestrating a giant ruse.”

“Hey, this ruse is for you and Hoseok to get down and dirty too, I’m doing you a service,” you sniff, downing the rest of your drink. At the rate you’re going, you’re pretty sure you’ll blackout but sneaking a glance at Jungkook again, makes you forgo your concerns and move to get yourself another drink.

“Long Island iced tea?” You hear and turn around, drink sloshing in your cup. “You haven’t changed,” Taehyung smiles, eyeing the drink in your hand.

“Kim Taehyung!” You smile, tipsy already, and move to hug him, burying your head in his neck. “Why did everyone go through a growth spurt and not tell me,” you sniff when you fall back onto the heels of your feet.

“I like towering over you though,” he easily says, taking ahold of your waist and pulling you towards him. “Come dance with me.”

You easily agree, letting him move you to the living room where a couple of people were dancing to the music. You’ve never been a good dancer, always the one with two left feet but get some alcohol in you and suddenly your body just knows. Sure, you can’t call what you’re doing dancing, moving more towards fucking with your clothes on, if the thigh Taehyung has wedged between your legs and the way he’s gliding you on it has anything to go by.

You thank alcohol for giving you the confidence that surges through your body when you feel a twitch against your own thigh, making you smirk. The two of you dance to the music for a couple more minutes until he bends down, lips touching the shell of your ear. “Meet me on the balcony in five, yeah?”

“I thought you’d never ask, Kim,” you pull away. “Let me go grab my coat.”

 You’re quick to whirl around, moving towards Hoseok’s room, giggling to yourself at the prospect of your plan coming to fruition. Maybe this will let you see clearly and not drool thinking about Jungkook anymore. Clearly, you just need to get a good dicking down and Jungkook will be Jungkook again. 

Thankfully Hoseok’s room is unlocked and empty, you peer around the dark in search of your coat.

A hoe never gets cold but she does need her jacket when she has to make a quick run for it, just in case.

You aren’t there for long when you hear the door open again.

“I thought you said to meet on the balcony,” you laugh, turning around but your laughter dies in your throat when you realise it’s not Taehyung standing behind you.

“Jungkook?” You stutter, “what are you doing here?”

“You know, ___,” Jungkook tongues the inside of his cheek as he stalks his way towards you. “Hoseok I kind of understood… but Kim Taehyung?”

“Wh-what are you talking about?” You stutter, all the alcohol running through your veins suddenly evaporating. 

“I’m tired of playing games, ___,” Jungkook responds, ignoring your question. “I don’t want to hear any excuses anymore.”

“What do you mean, Jungkook?” You shrink under his gaze. He looks so different right now like a whole different person.

“I mean,” Jungkook chuckles, stepping closer as you inch back, the back of your thighs hit Hoseok’s desk. “I’m going to fuck you now.”

“Jungkook!” You shriek, “Don’t be ridiculous, you don’t want to f-fuck me.”

Jungkook closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath and immediately bends down so his face is a mere inch away from your own. “Oh, you have no idea just how much I want you, ___,” Jungkook says, his eyes falling to your lips. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you. And I know you want me too.”

In a blink of an eye, he’s lifted you up and seated you on Hoseok’s desk.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you let out, eyes wide when you see the look in his eyes, the way his eyes roam your body with this innate hunger.

“Stop kidding yourself, ___. Don’t pretend like you didn’t see anything,” he says, leaning so close to you that he’s all you can see. Everything about him is so different now, it’s surprising that you just recently noticed the raw sexual appeal Jungkook exuded. You nervously lick your lips when you find his gaze drifting down once again, trailing your body with hunger you now recognize as the look he gave you when you found him fucking that girl a couple of days ago.

“It’s okay, noona,” he chuckles, the word sounding nothing but condescending coming out of his mouth this time. “I like being watched.”

"J-Jungook!" you gasp, shocked at his obscene words. He's so close to your vicinity that you're unable to think straight.

“And it looks like you like to watch, don’t you noona?” He teases, his hand gripping your waist to hold you into place.

“Tell me, noona,” he asks, licking his lips and you shudder when you see the wet sheen of saliva coat his lips. “Did you touch yourself that night? Did you get off to me fucking her?”

Without thinking, you find yourself nodding to his words, eyes wide, breathing hard and shallow. He groans, separating your legs to wedge himself between your thighs. He’s so close, pressing his body into yours, and you let him, gripping his shoulders to press him even closer to you.

“Do you even know what you do to me, ___?” He groans into your neck. He presses his hips into your stomach. “Do you feel what you’re doing to me?”

You whimper, feeling the thick shaft of his dick pressing into your skin. All too soon, the feeling is gone and he’s standing back looking at you with half-lidded eyes.

“Take off your clothes.”

You don’t even hesitate and slip your dress off, left only in a pair of lace panties. Jungkook groans at the sight, palming himself through his jeans. His eyes roaming your body, from the swell of your breasts down to the lacy material of your panties.

“Didn’t even wear a bra, you’re so naughty noona,” Jungkook smirks, shamelessly eyeing your breasts.

“I want to know what you did.”

“W-what?” You ask, peering up at him with confusion.

“I want to see how you touched yourself thinking about me.”

You shudder under his watchful gaze and you let out a shaky breath.

“Go on then.”

You slowly inch your hands down your body, sliding down your panties gently enough that they stick to the wetness of your core. You hear Jungkook curse under his breath at the sight.

“So wet, and I haven't even touched you,” he looks entranced, the way his eyes widen at the scene between your legs.

“You did this,” you mumble, swirling the wetness of your folds and spreading it across the expanse of your pussy. Biting your lips when your finger grazes your clit.

Jungkook moves to take a seat on the chair, getting a better view of your fingers working on yourself.

You ghost your fingers across your clit, breath shuddering every time the movement sends small a small wave of shock through your body. You should feel embarrassed, being watched so closely but the fact that Jungkook is here, watching you so intently just eggs you on. You circle your finger along your entrance as another gush of arousal flows through, glistening the tips of your fingers, and you gather the wetness, shoving it back in. A small moan leaves your lips when you curl a finger inside yourself.

"You're doing so well, noona," Jungkook whispers. His jeans are unbuttoned but he doesn't bother touching himself, too busy watching you. And you're in awe of him yourself, biting your lips as you slowly begin to grind onto your finger, slowly adding another digit. You shudder when you scissor them inside of yourself, your legs beginning to close into themselves but Jungkook pushes them apart, so he doesn't miss a single movement.

"Fuck, fuck! Jungkook," you gasp, "It feels so good!"

Your movements begin to get more erratic, faster as you start to lose yourself to the pleasure. Your thighs twitching when you press onto your clit. You sputter when you add another finger, slowing down your movements to get used to the pleasant feeling of feeling so full.

"J-Jungkook!" You moan out, your other hand reaching to grab ahold of the one that's grabbing your thigh, "I'm gonna-"

"Are you cumming already, ___?" He tilts his head, looking at you with a teasing smirk. "Did you enjoy the show that much?"

"Yes!" You grit out, biting your lips as you fuck yourself. "Wanna feel you so bad!"

You groan, hips lifting off the desk when you crook all three fingers inside of you, thumb rubbing against your clit. "Jungk- fuck, I'm cumming!" You cry out before your words taper off to strangled moans. You keep fucking yourself until you've ridden out the waves of your orgasm, panting by the time you come down from your high.

When you lazily open your eyes, you find Jungkook's eyes wide, staring between your legs.

"Fuck," he says before he peers up at you. "That was the hottest thing I've seen in my whole life." Before you can respond he's shoving his head between your legs and licking a long stripe up your slit before he latches onto your clit and begins to suck gently.

"Ah, Jungkook," you groan, head falling back and hitting the wall behind you. "It's too much Jungkook," you whimper, feeling oversensitive from your orgasm but he doesn't listen, eagerly lapping up your release like a man starved. He groans when his tongue probes at your hole, fucking it with shallow thrusts, sucking up the wetness. "Noona, you taste so good," he groans before diving back in. The oversensitivity has you sobbing, tears falling down your cheeks but you still find yourself pressing yourself against his tongue as hard as you can. The fact that it's Jungkook’s head between your legs has you tumbling towards a second orgasm at an embarrassingly fast pace. Without warning, the tight coil snaps once more and you're coming undone, grinding yourself onto his tongue, moaning out his name. This only spurs him further as he licks into you with even more vigor, lapping up whatever dribbles out of you like it's his only life source.

When the waves of pleasure settle down, you slump against the wall, utterly spent. Your thighs still twitching at the intensity of your orgasm.

"Fuck," Jungkook mutters, looking up at you, his breath hitched. You gasp when you notice his lips, cheeks, and chin dripping with your release. "You're so fucking hot," he mutters before moving to stand up. He strips himself of his shirt quickly, and your eyes widen once more over how toned his body is. You shamelessly ogle his body, eyes following the ridges of his muscles.

"When did you turn into such a muscle pig," you scoff when he flexes.

"Feels good when you cream yourself watching me work out in the backyard," Jungkook chuckles. You bristle at his words, flushing a deep crimson.

"You noticed?"

"Why do you think I put on such a show, noona?" He winks before he's standing close to you once again. "Now be a good girl, and suck me off."

You're quick to pull his jeans down, grateful that he had undone the button earlier, you're sure you would have fumbled with it the way your hands are shaking in anticipation.

The moment his cock is free from its confines, your eyes widen. It's a mouth-watering sight. His cock beautifully glistens as precum leaks out of the tip, sliding down the curved shaft and you lick your lips, following the trail with your eyes. Gingerly, you grab the shaft, spreading the wetness on the head and he hisses when your thumb digs into the slit. At his reaction you grow more bold, kissing a line on the side of his length, licking his skin more and more after each kiss. When you reach the head, you press another kiss on the tip before encasing it between your lips, swirling your tongue before you suckle on it lightly.

"F-fuck, ___!" Jungkook hisses. "Be a good girl and take it all in, okay?"

You easily comply, slowly sinking on his length, inch by inch you swallow his length as far as you can go before going back up to catch your breath. Once you get used to the length and the thick girth, you loosen your jaw and eagerly stuff him in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you take him in.

"Oh god, you're doing so well, baby," Jungkook grits, taking a hold of the hair that falls onto your face. His praise just makes you more eager and you go even further until your nose touches his pelvis. You stay in that position, nose hitting the base of his cock, and you inhale deeply, groaning when the heady scent invades your senses. Tears stream down your face as your throat constricts, jaw aching from the girth but feeling the weight of his cock on your tongue makes you moan. Jungkook's head falls back when he feels you moan around his cock, and when he finds you peering up at him with wide eyes, teary from the abuse of his dick, his cock twitches in your mouth.

"I'm gonna fuck your face now, can you take it?" He asks, pulling your face back by your hair and you nod eagerly.

"I didn't know you were such a cockslut, noona," Jungkook grins before he shoves his length down your throat. You immediately choke but he doesn't relent, shoving it down until you're pressed against him. You swallow wildly around his length, making him groan.

"Fuck, you're such a sight, noona,” he rasps, “With my cock stuffed down your throat."

He pulls out a little before thrusting back in, abusing your throat and you enjoy every minute of it. You gag every time he has you pressed against him, your eyes trained on the way his muscles go rigid.

"Look at you, getting your throat fucked like a whore," Jungkook says, enthralled by the way you swallow around his cock. "You're gonna have me cum before I've even fucked your pussy."

You hum, hips beginning to grind on the desk at the prospect of Jungkook fucking you.

Jungkook pushes his entire length into your mouth once more, letting it sit there as you sputter, the sides of your mouth dribbling with a mixture of your spit and his precum, before he pulls you off completely, his hand replacing your mouth as he slowly fists his cock.

You're breathing hard, gasping to catch your breath but your eyes don't leave how he's slowly working his shaft, hissing when squeezes at the base. You eye the way his abdominal muscles clench every time he thrusts into his hand.

"Can I-" You begin but stop, a surge of shyness falling over you and you avert your eyes.

"Hmm? What was that?" Jungkook asks, bending down so he's in your field of vision.

"I...I've been fantasizing," you explain, turning towards him again, slowly lifting your hand to have it trail down his chest. "About riding your abs... can I?" You ask, peering at him with your eyes wide.

"And you ask me why I work out so much when you have such a muscle kink, noona," Jungkook teases but moves to make you stand on your feet. You wobble on your feet a little but catch your balance quickly when Jungkook takes your seat on the desk, leaning back against the wall.

You quickly scamper to straddle him, his face so close to yours. Without thinking, you close the distance between the two of you and catch his lips with your own. He moans into your mouth, grabbing ahold of your waist to push you onto him, tilting your head to lick into your mouth. You start slowly, experimentally rubbing your abused pussy on the hot skin of his abdomen. You moan loudly when your clit rubs against the flexed ridges of his muscles.

"Mmm, as much as I love the sounds coming out of your mouth, ___, you have to be quiet," Jungkook says, kissing down your neck. "Unless you want the whole party to hear what you're doing."

You nod eagerly, biting your lips to muffle the sounds of your moans but the idea that anyone outside could figure out what the two of you doing sends a jolt of excitement down your spine and only make you move faster against him.

"You're so dirty noona," Jungkook bites your neck, making you whimper. "You want everyone to hear you, right, you want them to watch me fuck you."

You shiver when he slides a hand down your back and whine when he makes you sit up. At your dejected expression he chuckles, "Noona, do you want me to stuff you full of my cock or not?"

At his words, you move at lightning speed, standing on your shaky legs in anticipation. He's quick to stand up, moving behind you. You watch him sift through his jeans until he brings out a condom but you shake your head. "I-I'm on the pill," you clarify. "Want to feel you inside me."

“Fuck,” He groans, fisting his cock, "I can't believe how perfect you are, ___."

He moves behind you again, grabbing you until he's had you bent over the desk. "Now, you have to be a good girl and keep quiet, okay?" He says, smoothing a hand on your back and you eagerly nod, spreading your legs so he can stand between them. He drags his cock over your entrance, slowly sliding it down without adding any pressure so it slips down your entrance and nudges your sensitive clit. You yelp as streams of pleasure zap down your legs.

"I thought I told you to be quiet, noona," Jungkook chastises, "I bet you want Taehyung to walk in and see, don't you? Or is it Hoseok hyung, want him to see me fucking you in his room?"

You moan loudly at his words, eyes falling towards the door, where anyone could walk in an see the state you're in.

"Or should I stuff your panties in your mouth if you can't listen."

Unable to answer, you let out a breathy moan when his cock slides down your slit again, biting your lips to hold it back but ultimately fail.

"Guess, I have no choice," Jungkook says before stuffing the black lace into your mouth.

"Can you taste yourself, ___?" He asks, nudging your entrance with the head of his dick and you let out a muffled moan, nodding when your flavor hits your tongue.

"Do you taste how sweet you are, noona?" He pushes the head in and you groan, your walls clenching down, making Jungkook hiss.

"Fuck you're so tight, noona or is my cock just too big for your tiny pussy," Jungkook grits out, pushing in until half of his dick is lodged inside of you. Your legs are shaking at this point, walls convulsing at the intrusion but it feels so good to have a cock — Jungkook's cock —  inside of you. There's no guilt to the realization like you had been expecting, it feels nothing but right, like you were meant to have him filling you to the hilt. The sudden realization has you pushing back on his length, silently asking him to stuff you full, and he easily complies, pushing in until his length seated completely inside of you. Both of you still for a moment, you're left a whimpering mess, feeling so utterly full that you could just snap in half. Jungkook is no better, he shudders when he feels you convulse around him, cock twitching inside of you.

"F-fuck," he grits out, voice wavering. "You don't know how long I've wanted this for," he groans, leaning against you until his body is molded perfectly above yours.

You peer up at him and are shocked to see how fucked out he is, sweat beads his forehead, slowly sliding down the side of his face as he bites his lips raw.

"Noona," he groans, burying his face into the crook of your neck. "I can't believe I'm inside of you."

You shudder when he presses himself even further inside of you, and you feel like you might explode when he hasn't even started moving yet. You clench down on his length once more that has him break out of his thoughts and he pulls out before he's slamming into you again. You shriek into the lace at the brute force of the pace Jungkook's fucking into you. He's relentless with his thrusts, his thick cock filling you to the hilt before he's pulling out again. It's obscene, the way he's grunting and the way the slap of skin against skin reverberates through the room. You're lucky that the music is loud enough that nobody can be privy to what's going on inside.

You moan and drool against the fabric, hands desperately finding purchase onto the desk. You feel like the whole table might break apart against Jungkook's monstrous pace. His hold on your hips is so strong that you're sure he's leaving bruises on your skin, and that only makes you groan in delight at the prospect of having his marks branded on your skin.

"I won't last long," he grits out, voice deep and tinged with a guttural groan. You nod against the wood, eyes watering, letting him know that you're in the same state. Even if you didn't have your mouth stuffed full, you're sure you wouldn't be able to make a coherent word leave your lips. It's like every cell in your body is on fire, igniting every time Jungkook furiously fucks into you. Even after having this on your mind all summer, nothing could have prepared you for the sheer pleasure of actually feeling his cock inside of you, the way pushes into you. Without even having the realization of your impending release, the coil snaps and you're hurtling headfirst towards the strongest orgasm you've ever had in your life. Every muscle in your body goes rigid as you clench down onto his length with all the strength you have, stars glittering behind your eyelids as your walls flutter and convulse relentlessly around his cock. The feeling has Jungkook moaning, his forehead resting on your neck before spurts of hot cum begin to fill you up even more. He fucks you with even more vigor until you've milked out everything from him. He fucks his cum back into you one last time before he stops in his stuttering pace and collapses on top of you.

The two of you stay like that for a while, catching your breath. His body encases you in a sweltering heat, crushing you but you relish in the feeling of the sticky heat between the two of you. He presses chaste kisses on the base of your neck, his breath still heavy. It's silent but you feel complete, like a part of you had been missing and you just found it. You feel perfect.

Before he moves to get off you, he takes the lace out of your mouth and meets your lips in a deep kiss. Helping you stand up, his eyes follow the way his cum dribbles out of your pussy before he's quickly stuffing it back inside.

"Keep that in there, okay?" He says before he's kissing you again.

 Both of you change quickly and in silence, you tie your hair back haphazardly, hoping you can play it off as being far too drunk to care about your appearance.

When you look back at Jungkook, you notice him shoving the ruined pair of panties in his back pocket. Raising an eyebrow in question, he chuckles. "It's my souvenir for waiting this long to get to fuck you."

You scoff, looking back at your reflection to look at your ensemble once more before you're heading towards the door. Jungkook stays back so you can make your exit first. The music is still loud, even though the crowd has thinned out since you were last out there. You move towards the kitchen and grab yourself whatever cup you see to make your lie more believable. Peering out into the living room, you don't spot Hoseok or Yoongi anywhere, though you do notice a passed out Namjoon, bonsai tree still clutched tightly against his chest.

You don't move from your spot, even when you see Jungkook emerge from Hoseok's room, and he doesn't come to you either, opting to move back to his group of friends where the girl he was with eagerly clings onto him again.

You frown, even though it hadn't bothered you before, seeing her with him leaves a heavy feeling in your chest. You watch on as he easily laughs and blends into the crowd once more until you can't ignore the feeling anymore. Shaking your head, you're quick to move towards the entrance, suddenly feeling the telltale signs of an oncoming headache.

The following day, least to say, goes by seemingly uneventfully. Unless you count the fact that you catch Yoongi and Hoseok sitting in the kitchen when you make your way down the stairs. He’s quick to greet you with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows.

“What?” You squint, taking a seat next to him on the kitchen island.

“So you and Jeon finally get to do the nasty or what?”

“W-what?” You blanch at his words, choking at the piece of toast you'd stolen from his plate.

“Come on, don’t even try to hide it, I saw him go into my room after you, gotta admit, I really thought you'd end up with Taehyung last night but I guess I was wrong,” Hoseok shrugs, taking the stolen piece of toast back from you.

“If you thought she’d end up with Taehyung, why'd you bet on Jeon?” Yoongi grumbles, shoving a couple of bills in Hoseok’s open palm.

“Wait!” You snap, “you guys actually bet on it?”

Hoseok completely ignores your dramatic exclamation and turns to Yoongi. “Call it my own personal spidey sense, I can sense when people fuck…like I sensed that you were getting fucked yesterday.”

Yoongi’s quick to smack Hoseok across the back of his head.

“So… my grand plan worked out,” you pass a smirk to Hoseok, and hold out your palm.

“Wait you guys bet on me?” Yoongi looks between the two of you, eyes wide.

“Hey, gotta make a living and stay jobless at the same time somehow,” you shrug, counting the bills in your hand.

“Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about you and Jungkook,” Hoseok points his fork towards you. “You still have to tell me the gruesome details.”

“I’m not telling you any details, that ship sailed when you started bumping uglies with my brother.”

“Hey, I’m willing to spill, you’re the one who was so against it,” Hoseok shrugs, “Plus, I need to know if I have to burn my sheets or not.”

You pause, giving him the side-eye before you smirk. “Not your sheets… but you may want to get yourself a new desk.”

The next few days followed by slowly. You find yourself finishing off all your assignments with little to no distractions — unless you call watching the entirety of Instant Hotel a distraction. By the third day, you’re back to your normal routine and you decide that the whole thing with Jungkook was the cause of your lack of sexual gratification, and you’re totally over it. It kind of sucks that you had to literally fuck it out of your system to stop lusting over your dongsaeng, but it happened and there’s nothing you can change about it. That’s what you decide —  that you were completely okay.

Except that, you’re not. On the fifth day, you have a meltdown over the whole ordeal, and even Hoseok can’t make your anxieties go away. You avoid the backyard at all costs and don’t even turn to steal any more alcohol from your mother’s stash because, just as you blame your lack of a sex life that landed you in this situation, you also blame alcohol. This time, though, you’ve truly quit alcohol.

It’s on the seventh day that you actually see Jungkook, he doesn’t see you but that’s mostly because you duck out of sight before he gets the chance. It’s not like he was on his way to seek you out either, you see him jogging towards his dad’s truck, probably out on his way to run some errands. At least he hasn’t been hanging around your house these days, which makes the whole thing less awkward. Now, all you have to do is go through two more months just like this and you’ll be back in college, far, far away from here.

A week. It’s been a week and approximately three hours since you had gotten a glance at Jungkook. With your more recent research, you declare that you are indeed not okay. And to your luck, you have no effective distractions — Yoongi —  to your disposal. You’re home alone, having exhausted your last remaining brain cells by watching reality tv for seven hours straight. You’re casually perusing through Netflix once more because one more episode couldn’t hurt, when the doorbell rings.

You huff, wondering if you’d ordered a pizza and had forgotten about it, which seems quite impossible, but still, you don’t cancel it out completely. But what you find after opening the door is even more shocking than a forgotten pizza delivery. None other than Jeon Jungkook stands outside your front door, sheepishly smiling at you.

“Yoongi’s not home,” you say, immediately grimacing at your harsh tone, not expecting it to hold that much malice.

Jungkook’s eyes dart to the side before he nods, “Uh, yeah I know,” he clears his throat before looking back at you. “I came here to see you.”

“Okay...” you say, moving to the side so he can walk in. You make your way into the living room without waiting for him, trying really hard to appear casual but end up standing in the middle of the room with your arms crossed. “Why’d you ring the bell?” You ask once he’s inside, “And why’d you come through the front door?”

He rubs the back of his neck nervously, “I-it’s because I wanted to do things properly,” he shifts on his feet, “And I don’t think barging into the room will do us any good.”

It’s not difficult to understand what he’s referring to, making you frown at his choice of words. “Listen, if this is about that night, it’s all good okay? You don’t need to worry about that, we were drunk and these things can happen to anyone so you don’t need to bother yourself over something like that. I don’t expect you to do anything about it, I’m a big girl and I can take it,” you ramble on even though your mind is screaming at you to shut up!

“It’s not about that!” Jungkook blurts out, “Uh, I mean, is it technically about that but not what you think,” he reassures right after.

The two of you stare at each other in awkward silence for a few seconds before he breaks. “Listen, ___,” he begins, sighing. “I just wanted to apologise—”

“Like I said Jungkook, you don’t need to,” you interrupt him.

“Will you let me finish, ___?” Jungkook asks, smiling at you and the look alone has you shutting up. “As I was saying, I’m sorry for how I left things last time. I should have been more clear about my feelings.” The more he talks, the more he flushes. It’s so strange seeing Jungkook stammer around you now as if he didn’t stuff your own panties in your mouth a week ago to get you to shut up. But you can’t complain, you’ve always loved to watch him squirm.

“What I mean to say is, noona... I meant what I said that night,” he continues, “About how long I’ve waited to-” He clears his throat awkwardly. “How long I’ve waited for you.”

You still blankly stare at him, not sure where this is going at all. Was he trying to have another round? He’s probably figured out that no one was home, and honestly speaking you wouldn’t be opposed to it either…

“I like you, ___,” he blurts out. “I’ve always liked you but I never thought you even saw me as a... man… until recently. And I know we, uh, have done it, but I still wanted to formally tell you.”

A smile starts lighting up your face as he continues to stutter and stammer out a confession.

“Jeon Jungkook!” You exclaim, “Are you… asking me out?” You ask, fully grinning at him now, even though you know the answer already.

He’s bashful under your gaze, moving to rub at his red ears, “Um, yeah I am,” he says before handing you a paper bag you hadn’t noticed before. “It’s the end of the month, after all, so I guessed might as well shoot my shot.”

You take the bag, peering at it curiously until you take out what’s inside: a bottle of Pinot Noir.

[rhosyn-du]

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Six

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321​ Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue​ Tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Six

The irritation had been building all day, like sand rubbing under his skin, and it was especially irritating because Jace knew he didn’t have a good reason for it. Nothing was actually wrong, just a string of little frustrations that hadn’t let up all day, from the ancient coffee maker in their kitchen that didn’t start brewing when it was set to, meaning he had to go to his morning classes without any caffeine, to discovering he’d left his history textbook at home when his professor announced a surprise open-book quiz, right on through to missing his bus home and having to wait forty minutes for the next one, meaning he walked in the door with less than fifteen minutes before his friends were supposed to show up at his place for a group study session.

“Oh, hey,” Simon said when he walked through the door. “You’re home. I was starting to wonder if I got the day wrong and we weren’t having people over tonight, but then Bat texted asking if he should bring Spicy Ranch Doritos—which, obviously—so I figured you were probably just running late, which it turns out you were.”

“Excellent observational skills.” Jace tossed his bag onto the couch, not looking at Simon, and headed for the kitchen, intending to grab a beer from the fridge. Except when he opened it, there weren’t any left, and he realized he’d completely forgotten to go to the store the day before, because of course he had.

He slammed the refrigerator door shut, taking out his frustration on the appliance. It wasn’t as satisfying as he’d hoped.

“Everything okay?”

Jace spun around to find Simon in the doorway, watching him with an expression that held both wariness and concern.

“Everything’s peachy.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Simon said mildly. “You definitely use the word ‘peachy’ in casual conversation when things are going great.”

Jace took a deep breath, let it out slowly. “Look, I’ve had a shitty day, all right? I’ve had a shitty day, and we’re out of beer, and I don’t need you trying to get me to talk out my feelings or whatever it is you’re trying to do right now.”

“Okay,” Simon agreed. “What do you need?”

Jace blinked. “What?”

“You don’t need to talk about your shitty day,” Simon said, moving into the kitchen to lean on the counter next to him. “So what do you need? Lily’s bringing beer, so that’s already taken care of.”

It should have been a simple question to answer, but Jace wasn’t used to people asking what he needed. Jace wasn’t used to considering what he needed.

“I don’t know.”

“What about a distraction?” Simon offered.

“A distraction,” Jace repeated, skeptical.

“Yeah.” Simon was grinning as he hooked his fingers through Jace’s belt loops and pulled their bodies together. “A distraction.”

Jace licked his lips, dropped his eyes to Simon’s mouth. “People are going to be here in eight minutes.” He didn’t have any objections to spending those eight minutes making out with Simon.

Simon’s grin widened. “Guess I’d better work fast, then.”

And then he dropped to his knees.

Jace sucked in a sharp breath as Simon popped the button on his jeans. “What are you doing?”

“I know you’ve had a shitty day,” Simon said, pulling down Jace’s fly, “but you can’t be that out of it.”

Jace let out a soft laugh and let himself slump back against the refrigerator door as Simon took out his rapidly-plumping cock and worked him to full hardness with his hands and mouth.

He was used to Simon teasing, giving him almost enough and then pulling back until he was desperate with it. This was the opposite, with every touch, every lick and swallow driving him relentlessly toward the edge, the frustration of his day bleeding away as Simon blew him with expert efficiency.

In almost no time at all, Jace was struggling to keep his legs under him as he felt his balls start to draw up, and he was so close—

And that was when Simon, the absolute fucker, pulled off his dick to remark with far more casualness than the situation called for, “Did you lock the door when you got home? Because people are going to be here, like, any second.”

Then his mouth was back on Jace’s dick, swallowing him down like it was his job, and Jace was cursing because no, he hadn’t locked the door and any second their friends could walk in and see—Jace, desperate and falling apart; Simon, swollen red lips wrapped around Jace’s cock taking him apart—and that was—it was—

There was a sharp knock on the door, and Jace came with a strangled shout.

Simon worked him through it, pulling back only when a second knock sounded at the door. “Be there in just a minute,” he called, sounding far too composed for someone who’d just given fucking fantastic blowjob.

Simon stood, pressing a quick kiss to Jace’s lips before saying, “Somehow, I just knew you’d have a bit of an exhibitionism kink,” and heading for the door, leaving Jace to fumble his pants closed and try look like he hadn’t just had his brain sucked out through his dick.

“You all right, man?” Bat greeted him as he entered the kitchen, arms loaded with far too many bags of Doritos for six people.

“Uh,” Jace said intelligently.

“Heard you shouting and I figured you must’ve hurt yourself. You were pretty loud.”

“I heard you down the hall,” Maureen added from the living room.

“Yeah, just stubbed my toe,” Jace lied, heading out to the living room. “Somebody left his stats book on the floor, and I tripped.”

Simon flashed him a shit-eating grin. Jace had a hard time not staring at his lips, still red and slightly puffy. “You should really be more careful.”

“Going to go help Maia bring stuff up from her car,” Maureen announced, holding up her phone. “Be right back.”

“You do know,” Jace told Simon in a low voice, “that I’m going to get payback for that, right?”

Simon’s smile grew smug. “Yeah. I do.”

After an hour of going over his notes and rehashing the earlier quiz with Lily, Jace was feeling much better about his history class, and even had some ideas for his end-of-term paper. They all took a break when the pizza they’d ordered arrived, and Jace found himself squeezed between Lily and Simon on the couch.

“So,” Lily said around a mouthful of pepperoni and cheese, “you two ready for your big wedding performance this weekend? Please say no, because I’ve still got fifty bucks riding on you not making it through this without panicking.”

“Your concern is so touching,” Jace said. “I really don’t know what I’d do without such supportive friends.”

“Based on what I saw the night we met, you’d spend a lot more time getting drinks thrown in your face by girls whose names you forgot,” Maia said.

“I did not forget her name,” Jace protested. “I hit on her girlfriend.”

“Not actually better,” Maureen observed.

“Okay, one, I had no idea they were dating, and two, not my fault she flirted back.”

“Just try not to get any drinks thrown in your face at cousin Rachel’s wedding,” Simon said, patting his knee condescendingly. And then left it there, like it was totally normal for him to touch Jace casually like this in front of their friends.

“Would it be cheating if I bribed Simon’s sister to take someone Jace hooked up with as her plus one?” Lily asked.

Jace thought she really didn’t need to. He was already panicking.

“Yes,” said Maia and Bat at the same time Simon said, “Oh god, please don’t.”

“You guys are no fun,” Lilly pouted, reaching for another slice of pizza.

“Speaking of Becky,” Maia said with affected casualness, “I was wondering if you could tell her—”

“Give me your phone,” Simon interrupted, holding out his hand. This had the effect of removing his hand from Jace’s knee, and Jace tried not to miss it.

“Sure,” Maia said slowly, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “Why do you need my phone?”

Simon took the phone and pulled up Maia’s contacts. “So you just text my sister instead of asking me to be your messenger pigeon.” He passed the phone back. “Or call her. I’m not picky as long as I don’t have to be involved.”

Maia stared at the phone for a few seconds, then shrugged and put it back in her pocket with a sigh. “Yeah, okay. Fair. I guess I can, like, be an adult about this or something.”

“Good,” Simon said, his hand making its way back to Jace’s knee. No one else seemed to notice, and Jace tried not to react. “Please do it before Sunday so I don’t have to listen to Becky failing to be subtle about asking about you.”

Maia bit back a grin. “She asks about me?”

“Who wants to place bets on how long it takes Maia to actually call this girl?” Lily asked.

~~~

“Okay, you need to turn down the charm a little bit or I think Bubbe Helen is actually going to try to adopt you,” Simon said as Jace returned from his sixth dance with Simon’s grandmother. Jace didn’t think Simon needed to know that she’d used every one of those to grill him on his family, his plans for the future, his intentions toward her grandson.

“Just tell her you’re not into incest,” Jace told him, eliciting a gagging noise from Becky, the only one of Simon’s relatives still sitting at the table with them.

“Your boyfriend is gross,” Becky informed Simon, stabbing a spear of asparagus from her plate.

Jace grinned at her. “Simon wanted me to turn down the charm. I’m just trying to be accommodating.” He grabbed Simon’s hand and lifted it to his lips to kiss his knuckles. It was something they’d been doing all day, exchanging little gestures of affection like they couldn’t quite keep their hands off each other. Which was actually kind of true in Jace’s case.

It had started during the ceremony, Jace bumping Simon’s shoulder when he noticed him start to tear up during the vows. He’d meant it to be lightly teasing, but Simon had simply flashed him a watery smile and taken his hand, lacing their fingers together. Jace’s stomach had made an odd little flip and he’d squeezed Simon’s hand, and they just...hadn’t stopped touching each other. All through the rest of the ceremony and reception, it was a stream of constant little touches that made Jace wish for things he couldn’t have, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to stop touching either.

It didn’t help that Simon looked really good in a suit.

“That’s playing dirty,” Becky huffed. “I can’t hate you when you make my brother smile like that.”

“It’s all part of my devious plan.” He threw a sideways glance at Simon, hoping to catch the smile only to find him glaring daggers at his sister.

“Aww,” Becky cackled, “are you embarrassed? That’s adorable.”

“Embarrassed that you’re my sister? Yes.”

“Consider it payback for your presence throughout my entire adolescence.”

Jace leaned in. “Is there a story here? It sounds like there’s a story.”

“Dude, don’t encourage her.”

Becky leaned back in her chair, a predatory gleam in her eyes. “I have so many stories.”

“Oh, look.” Simon said, standing suddenly and pulling Jace along with him. “There’s Aunt Ruth. We should really go say hi.”

“I’ll still have stories to tell your boyfriend when you get back,” Becky called after them. “Jace, ask him about the llamas!”

Jace followed Simon, barely holding in his laughter as they ducked through the crowd of wedding guests, and then through an unobtrusive door that led out into an empty hallway.

“I’m so sorry about her,” Simon said, finally turning to face him and looking genuinely apologetic.

Jace shook his head. “Don’t be. I was having fun. I can see why Becky and Maia get along so well.”

“Because they’re both more than happy to tell embarrassing stories about me?” Simon joked.

“Can you blame them? It is pretty fun to watch you get all worked up.”

“You do seem to enjoy getting me worked up,” Simon agreed with a quirk of his eyebrows. “But my cousin’s wedding really isn’t the place for that.”

Jace glanced around the empty hallway. This was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea.

He turned back to Simon, a suggestive smile playing across his lips. “You sure about that?”

“Jace.” Simon’s voice was warning even as his eyes flicked to Jace’s lips and back up again.

Jace curled a hand around the back of Simon’s neck. “Because I’m not sure there’s any such thing as a bad place to get you worked up.”

“Literally everyone I’m related to is in the next room,” Simon protested. But he didn’t pull away.

“Fair point,” Jace conceded. He glanced around the hallway, then tried the nearest door. It opened into a room just large enough to not qualify as a closet. Jace raised a questioning eyebrow at Simon.

Simon looked dubiously at the stacks of office supplies that lined one wall, then back at Jace. “How are you so good at convincing me to make bad decisions?” Simon asked before grabbing him by the tie and dragging him into a kiss.

Jace grinned against his mouth as they stumbled into the room. “It’s my superpower. I got bitten by a radioactive advertising executive as a teenager.”

“Fuck,” Simon muttered, kicking the door closed behind them. “You can’t make Spider-Man references when I’m kissing you; that’s cheating.”

“Yeah?” Jace asked, pushing him against the wall that wasn’t occupied by reams of printer paper. “Does it get you hot when I talk nerdy to you?” He tugged at Simon’s shirt, pulling it free from his pants. “Or does everything I do get you hot?”

“Definitely not everything.” Simon nipped along his jaw. “Your ego, for example? Very unattractive.”

“Now you’re just making things up.” He slid a hand down to cup Simon through his pants, and Simon bucked into the touch. “My ego definitely gets you hot.”

“I know—fuck.” He rocked into Jace’s hand again. “I know some guys have trouble separating their egos from their dicks, but I never thought you’d be one of them.”

“Any association between my ego and my dick is well-deserved.” He tugged at Simon’s belt. “Don’t bother trying to argue. We both know it’d be a lie.”

“Yeah, that’s not actually how arguments wo—oh.” Simon cut off, eyes wide, as Jace dropped to his knees.

Jace smirked up at him. “I figure the best way to avoid staining your suit is if you come in my mouth. Unless you’ve got objections.”

“I have exactly zero objections to having your mouth on me.” Simon curled a hand around Jace’s jaw, drawing his thumb along Jace’s bottom lip. “Like, ever.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Jace flicked his tongue out to catch the tip of Simon’s thumb and reached to finish unbuckling his belt.

He froze at the unmistakable sound of the door opening behind him.

Jace’s eyes were trained on Simon’s face, so he saw the emotions play out across it in real time: surprise, then panic, then a slowly dawning horror.

“Bubbe Helen!” Simon’s voice just barely managed to avoid being a squeak. “Hi! We were, uh, we were just—” He looked down at Jace helplessly.

The thing was, Jace had always been good in a crisis. No, that wasn’t exactly right. He’d always been calm in a crisis. Probably as a result of having endured so many starting at such a young age.

So, his gaze and voice were completely steady as he took Simon’s hand in both his own and asked, “Will you marry me?”

He heard a voice behind him that sounded suspiciously like Becky mutter, “Oh my god.”

Simon stared. “Wha—uh. Yes?” His eyes flickered up toward the doorway, then back to Jace. “Yes,” he said more firmly. “I will definitely marry you, which is of course why you’re on your knees right now, and…”

His voice trailed off as Jace pulled his ring—his father’s ring, the only ring he ever wore—off his own finger and slid it onto Simon’s. It was a little loose, but not enough to slide off.

Simon flexed his hand, the fluorescent light above glinting off the brushed platinum. And then he was pulling Jace to his feet and into a kiss that held a decidedly hysterical edge.

The kiss was short-lived, interrupted by a very deliberate throat clearing. Jace kept Simon’s hand clasped firmly in his as he turned around, the metal of the ring pressing into his skin a reminder of what he’d just done.

Bubbe Helen was watching him with a decidedly unimpressed look. Behind her, Becky had a hand clapped over her mouth, smothering what could have been either an overflow of emotion or laughter.

“Young man, did you just propose marriage to my grandson in a storage closet?”

Jace pasted on his best facsimile of a sheepish smile and prepared to lie his ass off.

~~~

“Look, I panicked, okay?”

Outside, rain poured down in heavy sheets, obscuring the passing scenery and dampening any other sounds. It made the inside of the van feel cut off from the rest of the world, like they were alone in their own tiny, bubble universe.

A muscle in Simon’s jaw twitched. “You said that already.” He kept his eyes on the road.

Jace’s eyes fell to the steering wheel, where the soft platinum of his father’s ring still rested on Simon’s finger. “You didn’t have to say yes.”

Simon didn’t respond to that, and Jace wished he could see his eyes, could find even the tiniest clue to what he was thinking. He’d barely said anything since they made their hasty exit from the reception. At least Becky and Bubbe Helen had agreed not to mention Simon’s supposed engagement to his mom until he could tell her himself.

The silence stretched between them as Jace stared out into the blurry downpour. The one saving grace to all of this was that at least no one else knew about it. Their friends would never let them hear the end of it if they found out. And Jace’s family, god, that would be a disaster. Izzy would probably try to plan the whole thing and they’d somehow end up actually married before Jace could even explain the situation to her.

“You know,” Simon said into the silence, “I hated you before I even met you.”

Jace didn’t know what to say to that, didn’t know if there was anything to say to that. That was okay, though, because Simon kept talking.

“Clary’s been my best friend since we were kids. My mom likes to tell the story of how we met on the playground and spent the whole day trying to build a moat around the swing set so no one else could play on it, but I don’t actually remember it. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t friends with Clary. She’s just always been a part of my life. The best part, sometimes.”

He took a deep breath, threw a quick glance at Jace before continuing. “So, of course I fell in love with her.”

The words hit Jace like a punch to the gut, and he was very, very glad Simon’s eyes were back on the road and he couldn’t see the jumble of emotions that Jace was sure were written all over his face.

“We were in sixth grade when I realized,” Simon continued. “I think I’d probably been in love with her for a while, but it just sort of hit me one day that I was just completely and totally gone for her. And it only took me like ten minutes after that to figure out that she didn’t feel the same way about me, but that was okay. I mean, it wasn’t. That kind of thing never is when you’re twelve.” He let out a mirthless laugh. “Or when you’re an adult either, I guess. But it was as okay as it could be because I figured I just had to wait. Clary was the most important person in the world to me, and even though she didn’t love me like I loved her, I knew I was the most important person in her life, too, so I just figured.” He shrugged. “I figured that eventually she’d realize that we could be, you know, more.”

His voice got soft as he continued, “And then she met you.”

Jace sucked in a sharp breath. “Simon, I—”

“I’m glad she did,” Simon interrupted, and he sounded like he meant it. “Even though it sucked at the time. Every time she mentioned you, I just wanted to punch you in the face. Which is why I always made an excuse not to meet you, by the way. I thought if I did and you really were as perfect as she described you, I would actually hit you.”

“I did always wonder about the mysterious best friend who was never around,” Jace said around the odd lump in his throat he couldn’t seem to swallow down. “She talked about you all the time.”

“Yeah?” Simon sounded genuinely surprised. “That’s actually really good to hear. And it makes me even more glad she met you, because her falling for you, even spending so much time with you, it gave me time to get over her.”

The knot in Jace’s throat loosened an inch.

“By the time you guys broke up, I’d actually dated a couple of people who weren’t Clary, and even though I didn’t feel as strongly for any of them as I did for her, I realized that part of what makes our friendship so special is that it is friendship. And I think we might have really fucked that up if we tried to be anything else, so I’m glad we never did, because my friendship with Clary is still one of the best things in my life, and I’m pretty sure it always will be.”

“Is that what you wrote Random Afternoon about? About you and Clary?” It wasn’t what Jace meant to say at all, but he opened his mouth and the words just came tumbling out.

Simon’s let out a soft huff of laughter. “No.” He shook his head. “It’s, uh. It’s not about Clary.”

Jace didn’t understand what was so funny, but he wasn’t going to ask. Just like he wasn’t going to ask who the song was about. Wasn’t going to think about why he cared so much.

“She was my first love, too,” he said instead.

Simon nodded slowly, digesting this information. “I wondered. I mean, when Clary used to talk about you, it sure sounded like you loved her, but once I found out you were, you know, you, I wasn’t so sure anymore.” He was fiddling with the ring, now, twisting it slowly around his finger with his thumb. Jace wondered if he knew he was doing it. “I didn’t think you were a relationship kind of guy.”

“I’m not.” That wasn’t what anyone wanted from him. Even Clary, who really had loved him once upon a time, hadn’t wanted him to stay. And even if someone did want that from him, he was pretty sure now that he wouldn’t know how to give it to them.

“And there hasn’t been anyone since Clary who’s made you reconsider?” Simon’s hands were still on the steering wheel now, his face impassive in the flickering light of passing cars.

Jace thought back to that night weeks ago, when Simon told him that maybe they wouldn’t be a mistake, and just for a second he’d thought—he’d hoped—but of course that wasn’t what Simon had meant.

“No.”

“Of course not. Stupid question.” Simon flashed him a smile, but there was a worried crease between his brows.

The last thing Jace wanted from him was pity, especially over this. “So, tell me about the llamas,” he said, desperate to change the subject.

Simon winced. “Can we just pretend Becky never mentioned llamas?”

“Nope.” Jace grinned. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll get Maia to ask Becky. I’m sure your sister would be happy to share.”

“You’re seriously the worst,” Simon said before launching into a long, involved story about his and Clary’s third grade trip to a llama farm and how Becky had thought it was hilarious to tell them that llamas were venomous.

“So, there I was, just covered in llama spit,” Simon finished as he unlocked their apartment door, “crying my eyes out because I thought was going to die, with Clary shouting at the poor farmhand that her dad was cop and he was going to go to jail for murder. And of course Becky didn’t even get in trouble or apologize. She just started getting me llama-themed birthday gifts.”

“Just so we’re absolutely clear,” Jace snickered, following him inside, “I’m laughing at you, not with you.”

“Which is one of many reasons I should have known better than to let you meet my sister. Speaking of which,” he pulled Jace’s ring off his finger and held it out, “I wouldn’t want to forget to give this back.”

Jace looked at the ring, then back up at Simon, swallowing hard. “You should keep it. Until we break up.” Something flashed in Simon’s eyes, and Jace hurried to correct himself. “Until we tell our families we broke up, I mean. In case you need to, I don’t know, sell the story.”

“Jace, I know what this ring means to you. I can’t just—”

“You can.” He reached out and closed Simon’s fingers over the ring, holding them there. “I trust you to keep it safe.”

Simon stared at him for a long moment, eyes searching. “Okay,” he agreed. “Until we break up.”

Something in Jace’s chest loosened, and he stepped back, letting Simon’s hand drop from his. “Cool. I’m gonna heat up some pizza rolls. You want me to make enough for you?”

“Sure,” Simon said. “Yeah, pizza rolls sound great. Cheeseburger flavor, not triple cheese, though.”

“Obviously,” Jace said, heading to the kitchen. He didn’t think about the ring, or how naked his hand felt without it. Or why it mattered so much to him that Simon agreed to keep it, if only for a little while.

[rotationalsymmetry]

General gripes about DS9 and gender (some spoilers) (content notes: some references to sexual abuse/trauma, and specifically spiritual abuse/sexual misconduct in religious leaders, also death/murder):

I swear to fuck these people do not know how to write female characters without shoehorning them into romance plotlines. (Or weird fucked up stuff, like when that Cardassian serial murderer kidnaps Kira.) Especially noticeable with Ziyal -- when Kira takes her to DS9, the writers apparently can't think of a single thing to do with a young woman other than ship her with a much older Cardassian. Then, she's starting to get her own life and make a name for her as an artist, and they fucking refridgerator her. The fuck. (And: the focus is on how her death affects Dukat, that fucker. Which, obviously sure it's going to affect him...but it's also going to affect Kira, who sees Ziyal as like a younger version of herself and was trying to protect her. And then Ziyal dies. That should have some sort of effect on Kira! And did no one else on the station make any sort of connection with her when she was there?) This is arguably not primarily a gender thing, but it is partly a gender thing: the show keeps demanding Kira find sympathy for her oppressors, over and over again. (This is a gripe fest: of course there's a lot of things about Kira's character that are done really well.) She keeps getting thrown in situations that show (some) Cardassians in more nuanced lights and that more or less force her into relationships with them, while meanwhile her old resistance cell friends all get killed off, her parents are dead, if she has any other family we don't hear about it, and she's basically left with no Bajoran friends even, as far as we know. She gets Bajoran lovers who... OK, about that. First, Vedek Bareil. Now, Bajorans are shown to have a pretty relaxed attitude towards their clergy (eg Kira is frequently rude to Winn even after she becomes Kai with apparently no consequences) -- but still. Vedek is roughly equivalent to, what, cardinal? He's high up in the heirarchy. And, he's put himself in a role of spiritual authority relative to Kira: she gets access to one of the Orbs through him. They've got a power imbalance and one that's connected to Kira's ability to do her religion. I don't care what the social norms are on Bajor that is 100% sexual misconduct on Bareil's part. If something went wrong in their relationship, it could fuck up Kira's connection to her faith. And in the show it's presented as no big deal.

(Star Trek seems to be aware of this when it comes to ship's captains! For all that Kirk notoriously fucks everyone, he never voluntarily (/outside of the mirror universe, outside of odd transporter malfunctions that split him into two parts, etc) came on to a crew member. But it's no less important for religious authorities.) (Also: this has nothing to do with celebacy. I'm fine with Bajoran religious figures being allowed to have sex and being allowed to have sex outside of marriage. But: a religious leader having a sexual relationship with someone who they're in a pastoral relationship to is wrong, and while Bareil isn't exactly Kira's pastor I think there is some level of, he's providing spiritual guidance to her. That means she's off limits to him, or should be. In the same way that bosses shouldn't fuck their direct reports, college professors shouldn't fuck their students, therapists definitely shouldn't fuck their patients, etc. Regardless of how they handle their sex life outside of those restrictions. And regardless of whether there's love involved or not -- romantic love absolutely does not make it better.) And then there's Shakaar, the former leader of her resistance cell. That she joined as a teenager. It's...yeah, it's been many years, yeah she's not directly under him any more, and yeah goodness knows a band of resistance fighters is probably not going to have a clearly written up sexual harassment policy so it's not necessarily unrealistic...it's not as blatantly "oh god no" as Bareil, but it's got some...is anyone thinking of potential abuse of power issues here? Anyone?

There was one episode where Jake and Nog were double-dating and it goes badly due to Ferengi, uh, gender roles not meshing well with Federation egalatarianism. And, then the rest of the episode is all about how they're going to repair their friendship. And I was thinking: we didn't see either female character either before or after, and why is a sexism issue being shown from the lens of "how can I, a nice guy, stay friends with my male friend who has sexism issues" and not "how am I, a young woman, going to deal with this affront to my basic personhood" or "how am I, a young woman, going to repair my friendship now that I talked my friend into a double date so I could date the guy I liked but his friend turned out to be garbage?" Like...out of all the potential relationships there, why is Jake's friendship with a guy with sexism issues (who's made it clear he's not going to change, at least as far as dating goes) the one presented as being in most need of preservation? I know, it's because Jake and Nog are more central characters and their friendship has been significant in the show for seasons now. But...that just brings up more questions. Like why does this show have a significant bro friendship between two teenage boys, but there's no friendship between two women (or between a woman and a man for that matter) that's given as much weight? There's some bonding between Kira and Dax, but it doesn't have the same presence and significance as Jake and Nog or, say, Miles and Julian. (I'm having first name/last name inconsistencies here. Ah well.) Keiko has no on-camera friendships. Kira has no on-camera friendships that have Jake & Nog or Julian & Miles weight. Dax maybe does with her Klingon buddies from Curzon's lifetime. (Benjamin Sisko also doesn't.) Ziyal could have, but doesn't. Molly could have, but doesn't. Miles doesn't seem to have any (on-camera or otherwise acknowledged) parent friends (like...there's one couple mentioned who can babysit Molly at times? That's it? We never even see them?), which is weird because fuck knows parenthood can make it hard to have any friends who aren't parents. Odo's got his weird frenemy thing with Quark. Garak has his standing lunch with Julian (if you read that as platonic, which ... yeah, there's not a lot of arguments for seeing it as platonic beyond "they're both men.") I am, don't get me wrong, extremely for showing male friendships. Very much for it. It's just...I want friendships that aren't between two guys also. And I want them to be shown as significant and meaningful and worth overcoming obstacles for. Friendships between women, friendships between people of the same race or culture (or alien species, since we are talking Star Trek here), friendships between men and women that aren't just a precursor to romance. And...parenting that isn't just...I want to see Keiko have problems with parenting that she overcomes with help from other people. I want to explore the emotional ramifications of Kira being a surrogate mom to Kirayoshi or being a semi adopted mom to Ziyal and then having her die. I want Kira to talk about how her own upbringing in times of famine and war and occupation affects her sense of her ability to potentially be a parent. I want a female character to calmly talk about her decision to not become a mother and have that decision be treated with the utmost respect. I want the sort of struggles that male characters have with parenting on the show, like Worf's difficulty connecting with his son or Benjamin's conflict over watching his son grow up and get less interested in spending time with his dad, be shown for female characters as well. And the joys, like when Benjamin remembers holding Jake as an infant, like when they reunite after Jake gets caught in a war zone. Rather than parenting be this thing that mom characters apparently do on autopilot without any internal conflict or feeling out of their depth or particular moments of joy and amazement. There's so many plot lines and moments and bits and pieces that could be amazing moments that give

mother characters balance and nuance and characterization, but they only ever get shown for fathers. (And this is not just Star Trek either...look at all the kids movies that are about father/son or father/daughter bonding, and somehow the moms...just aren't there. It's so good when there are single father storylines, just...where are all the mom storylines that could be like that?) And why do teenage boys get focus and their own stories (especially with Jake in DS9, but also TNG has Wesley Crusher and Alexander, and TOS had one story centering on a teenage boy) but girls either aren't there at all or don't get to have stories that are about them? Ziyal's stories aren't about her, she doesn't get to form her own friendships and only barely gets to develop an interest of her own before her life is taken away from her. Molly doesn't get stories that are about her. (And yeah, Molly's a lot younger than Jake, but those are still choices: DS9 could have been set when Molly was a teenager, or the show could have introduced a different teenage girl as a significant character, or Jake could have been a girl rather than a boy, or Benjamin could have had two children...)

[puppy-phum]

thank you once again @yibobibo​ for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here. 

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions: 

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu). 

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.  

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ @ashenwren​ @kholran​ @tiesanjiao​ @lan-xichens​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @manhasetardis​ and @lzswy​​ ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

[kob131]

Looks like Hbomberguy's hours long crap is up(publicly).

“Made a legendary animator, his most trusted colleage (shows Shane) and two-”

People he outright went to and he acknowledged were better writers, thanks for admitting that HBomberguy and not be an insulting jackass right?

“RWBY’s failures matter because it could have been something-”

So could Twilight- That means nothing at this point other than ‘I made a bunch of headcanons and the show dared to not follow them.’

‘It’s easy to see why this show has such a devote fanbase because it frequently threatens to become good-”

So did Fairy tail (except for real) and that died out. Also you are really chipping away at my goodwill

‘People say what it promised!”

You mean this?

‘Weaken REAL criticism by being given too much attention-”

Hypocritical much douchebag?

“*insert a bunch of sarcastic bullshit mocking critics of RWBY*”

*rolls eyes* You say as you mimick them down to using the DEAD.

‘It’s separated into two eras with issues that don’t necessarily overlap-”

Bull. Fucking. Shit. Most of RWBY’s problems now ORIGINATED in the early Volumes. 

“If you’re a fan of the show you’re probably gonna dread what I’m about to say and if you’re a fan of the second half then you’ll probably agree with what I’m about to say-”

Considering you’re stupid sarcasm is just a less smug version of what I do, pretty clear ‘agreement’ and ‘actual good point’ are very different here.

“If you love RWBY and are still gonna watch, thank you and I love you for joining me on this journey.”

Less a journey and more a Seven Page Muda but sure.

“My goal isn’t to make people think less of the show-”

Which is why you openly insult it in the beginning.

“-but to think more about it.”

So far you’ve shown about as much understanding of the show as FloofArtist, complete with hypocrisy. And considering what I’ve heard about your video, you’re not getting better.

“I hope to give credit where credit is due-/It’s said failure is the best teacher-”

Which is why you openly insult people.

“’Rooster Teeth is starting game development!’ *insert insulting Steam Statistics*’

Fucking wonderful. Like you haven’t already tested my patience.

“*gushes about the Red Trailer after about eight minutes of recaping*”

Cool, eight minutes wasted on knowledge that EVERY RWBY fan knows. Literally every RWBY fan knows the origins of RT and Monty and the bitch basic knowledge of how they came together. You seem to have targeted this to RWBY fans and yet to blab about shit that you get after looking at the fandom for 2 seconds.

To say nothing of how you prove something was wrong with the Red Trailer. Namely, you never mention a plot, a personal conflict, a display of character or anything other than ‘cool music!’ and ‘animation!’ despite the show being pretty plot dependent.

*Gushes about the White Trailer*

Yet another bitch basic gushing with nothing of substance to it. For a guy who says he wants people to think critically about RWBY, you sure don’t do that for what is considered the basis of the show. It’s just talking about shit you like instead of anything worthwhile.

*Yet more gushing with the Black Trailer.*

... You know, I watch these kinds of videos searching for some kind of intellectual stimulation. Something to make me think and engage with. Right now, I get more stimulation and engagement from RWBY itself than a supposedly critical video that doesn’t even have to bother with anything original.

“The show already has generic monsters who just want to destroy humanity and yet you have written your characters to act exactly the same-”

And within your own bitching, you discovered the counter. The Grimm have nothing really to explore about them outside giving them variations and powers whereas the human characters can have these things called ‘motives’ and ‘reasons’. Not to mention even you would say people act like that in real life *cough* anyone NOT of your political alignment *cough*.

“And the audience is left with one lingering though...he can make that jump.”

How does it feel that Family Guy did a better version of your joke?

“She’s written like two adult men who have never written anything professional before except Red Vs. Blue wrote a Teenage girl-”

.... Monty wrote her based off her voice actress.  You’ve also made me regret ever using this same insult against Miles and Kerry so congrats on that.

*Even more gushing...*

You know, I am legitimately considering rewatching the Persona episode of Game Theory because at least MatPat’s faffing about is short and he has more content in his first eighteen minutes than this.

“More people have gone back to watch the trailers than watch actual episodes of the show!”

The trailers are the first thing people would watch to know about the series- no shit they’d be higher in view count.

“It’s so hard to not be onboard with the trailers!”

It’s actually very easy, especially in their release.

Why? Simple, a lot of the depth in the trailers only exists with context from the show itself. The White Trailer is cool and all but it’s symbolism and deeper meaning comes from Weiss’ backstory and the truth depth of Blake leaving Adam and what it causes is found in the show, the two best trailers while Red is just mindless fun that you can get better from other places and Yellow is just kind of neat.

How the fuck am I the more critical of the two of us so far?

“Then the show actually came out and it was terrible-”

Piece of advice, don’t follow this up with a super janky, uncanny valley 3D animation that makes Volume 1 look appealing.

“RWBY isn’t just a bad show, it’s a bad show that could have been something-”

*cracks neck*

The idea that RWBY or any show ‘had potential’ is most often used when a person once had a fondness for the property in question but has long since lost the goodwill to see it in a positive light, trying to make up for the cognitive dissonance of the conflict between liking what it once was and disliking what it is now. The issue here is that these so called ‘issues’ are born of the original creator who either founded the show or helped found it which means that it was pretty much DESTINED to be this way as the creator’s specific interpretation of their own work is what resonated with you in the first place and was likely built up to in the subtle inner workings of the show, thus making the big changes you want so badly would cause a ripple effect that would have affected your past impression of the show because everything in a show is connected. And in all likelyhood, your impression would have soured no matter what.

Tl;Dr- ‘It had potential!’ is self defeating and stupid.

‘The creators are receptive to criticism!...well, they try to be.-”

Oh boy I can’t wait for Mr. ‘kill half of all babies’ to try and speak about THIS topic.

“You don’t engage with any of the good faith criticism and just reward shitty people with attention. And I hope to show them that as a lifelong fan of RT and Monty Oum, that I’m saying this thinking RWBY could have been good...and still could be.”

Says the man who when referencing Miles for the first time, actively SEPERATED him from being a ‘treasured college’ of his friend and insulted him with Yang even though the fault lied with MONTY. 

All while referencing a tweet where he chews someone out for saying EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ( ‘God this is why i hate this fandom. You miss the point. If I critise the show I'm a hater because you worship it. I'M OFFERING CRITISM U IDIOT SO THE SHOW SEES ITS FAULTS AND FIXES THEM. HOW THE FUCK CAN U KEEP MOVING FORWARD IF YOU DON'T IDENTIFY YOUR OWN FAULTS AND LEARN’). Yeah great job there jackass- How exactly are you any different from this fucker?

So that’s my thoughts on the first twenty or so minutes. Can already tell it’s gonna be shit.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X3 Free to be You and Me

huh oh right they're split up

boy I'm curious to see what's gonna happen

huh open on Sam

like yes, protagonist, but

JESSICA

man she hasn't aged

boy it's nice she's remembered tho

poor Sam and the constant violation of his bodily autonomy

see it's shot like that one lucifer thing

Oh simple man, ok wow

O H CUT TO DEAN

I like this one

Great American Loneliness

Dean canonically knows about twilight

goDDAMN THIS IS GOOD THO

OH MY GOD SAME WAY OF DEALING WITH MUSIC AND THE RADIO OMG

Bedlund started it and they all just liked it so much

CAS!! CAS CAS CAS!!

WHEN DID THEY TALK ABOUT IT

SKSKS HE CALLED BOBBY

O H RAPHAEL

teenage mutant ninja angel

OHDFSAO OH MY GOD

“are you flirting with me” “I’m fucking trying to”

IT’S A TROPE IT’S LITERALLY A RELATIONSHIP TROPE

Cas and his complete sincerity vs. Dean and quips :)

K E I T H ?

o h world peace oof

Sam the Slightly Off kid is SO GOOD

CAS THATS NOT A PLAN

AW HE’S TELLING HIM HUMANS LIE AWWWW

HE FIXES HIS TIE

A W W W W W

the president quip also feels pointed at the times

cas *stares*

THE BADGE THING AWWWW

IT’S THE DEMONS- no no it’s not

aww their dynamic is so good I love it

actual humor just by virtue of people oh my god I love castiel

BOBBY YOU SARCASTIC FUCKER

I do like the dichotomy of like…Sam liked hunting the most but has to give it up(established in the office au) like he’s growing into it

he fucking LOOKS ethereal

“you do” jesus cas

“last night on earth” I’m going feral what the fuck was this

NO HE’S FLIRTING HE’S 100% FLIRTING

S H Y C A S

they’re so fucking funny oh my god I’m cackling

BERT AND ERNIE COMMENT W H Y WHAT WAS THE POINT W H Y

listen…I get it…but also…apocalypse

Sam b ru h

although to be entirely fair, he might be more of a liability

aw I like Lindsay although she’s gonna be…dead probably

CASTIEL OH MY G OD

THE GAY PANIC

HE HAS BLUESCREENED SO HARD

HE IS CHUGGING THE BEER

THE FEAR IN HIS FUCKING EYES OH MY G O D

THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS OH MY GOD

HE LOOKED HER DEAD IN THE EYE AND BROUGHT UP HER ABSENT FATHER AHAHA

oh we’ve got themes of world weary in one way vs naive in one way and also knowledgable of the Universe vs the whole GED thing that gets brought up in fic and AAA

“years” oh no Dean :(

I do like the wandering archetype for him actually tbh

Aw she’s three years sober

“come and get me you little bastard” damn I LOVE HIM

WHELP IT WORKED!

IMAGERY WAS SO COOL

Also Dean hunches over they’re about the same height now

he deflects so Cas is ok aw

THE COMPOSURE CRACK! THE COMPOSURE CRACK!!!!

“It was his idea” * B I T C H *

gOd iS dEaD anD we have kIllEd Him

ah there we got to the lindsay death :(

the ages old “what do when god is gone, would he let this happen”

oH VERY NICE ABANDONMENT ISSUES WITH DEAN

“just cuz shit’s fucked up doesn’t mean you make it more fucked up” VERY NICE

“godless universe” and yeah it be like that

post office sksks

ooo it being lucifer is a Nice Touch

it’s not true but still cool

MY LITTLE BITCH

WHAT HE SAID AHAHA

ah JEEZ HE GOT FORCEFED THE BLOOD N O

and he does hulk out but like…human hulk out

AW DEAN CHECKED ON CAS

MISSING FATHERSSSS AW

“you gotta do what you believe” AWW

“we’re not so different you and I” type beat AW

Dean being happy without Sam is Ouch but also

it’s different with not being responsible for someone

aw he’s happy

nO CAS COME BACK NOT THAT ALONE

PEOPLE CAN CHANGE IS IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Ah it’s luci

whelp that must have been violating

heh vessel bros

“and I’ll just bring you back” IS H O R R I F Y I N G, and worse, it’s set up

sincere villain is so interesting though damn

okok wrap:

1. straining against budget. listen it’s painfully clear that Supernatural wants to be more than it is. Like the fact that they burn through a lot of really popular songs(budget) at the beginning is like. there’s a vision, and it can’t be reached. Although in some cases that constraint ends up for the better(I think my fav example is Misha’s crazy hair), other times it ends up well. But the idea that it wants to be more than it is? I go Feral, I want to Eat Glass

No wonder this is like the Most Fanficced Show

2. simple man. I really liked the mirroring montage. They lean TOO heavily on the radio gag(have it be a tape, have it be SOMETHING else so it’s not the same thing two episodes in a row) but I thought it was a good time passing/show the dichotomy montage

actually speaking of

3. dichotomy!! like we know from the office ep/season 4 Sam is down to fight(always more like John, always more taken in by revenge and pain and power etc etc), and Dean has been reticent, wants a normal life, in both Yellow Fever and office ep, and they had to do the other things. And “Weirder” still, Dean is happy! like yeah Sam is Burdened, but Dean is happy to just…vibe for the first time in his life

ok see it’s different cuz a younger sibling is still responsibility, it isn’t technically equal, so Dean was never able to relax because John’s an absent father. the younger sibling thing

but their dichotomy here was very good, and I liked the simple man was highlighted. Once again, Sam being miserable in a normal life(like he always prolly would have been) but Dean finding himself way from his family.

3. Sam I REALLY liked the wandering archetype for Sam. Him actually going to figure shit out would be interesting, but they never actually have the time, or leave the time, for people to go through with it and it’s a shame! Weird Kid Sam would be so cool to see around in a story

also sidetone, but once you notice how little agency Sam has like…ever…like wow, this kid never had a choice thanks to destiny, and that SUCKS

slowly getting more on the Sam Hype Train tbh

4. Cas listen. Not only is Cas’s grapple with his absent father cool, he’s genuinely funny to be around! Like him and Dean have a fucking fantastic dynamic, he Acts Different than Humans(thanks Misha Collins holy hell) so it’s incredibly clear something’s off and it’s just

like it’s so good to have a character like that, he’s just so cool.

Also…Dean was flirting. that was flirting. THAT WAS LITERALL-

WHY BRING UP BERT AND ERNIE LIKE THAT UNPROMPTED

THE CONSTANT LOOKING AT HIM

See I thought people were exagerrating! Like even Merlin I can kinda see what they were going for sometimes!

WHAT WAS THIS!? IT WAS SO CLEAR OH MY GOD

5. absent fathers. Ok listen. Dean sympathizing with Cas because of trying to find an absent father(ties into the beginning of the show, dad’s on a hunting trip etc) and giving him hope to find him is SO CUTE! Like Dean giving Cas hope because of similar situations! Cas letting Dean finally relax! GOOD

Also I mentioned it, but their dichotomy of like…I think streetsmarts(Dean) and booksmarts(Ig universesmarts tho, he knows a lot of Weird Things) IS SO INTERESTING and COOL and AHH

ALLONS Y

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 20.11.20

new title card! everyone looking hottttttttttttttttt af!

no for real though, this chick needs to fucking insure her feet or something. itne disaster-prone pair maine zindagi mein nahi dekhe.

this idiot. honestly, he needs to know to pick his battles. he used to be soooooooo smart and shaatir. now he’s just dumb as fuckkkkkkk, the way he’s playing the game. i really don’t understand. i just don’t.

“riddhima tumhe pata hai tumhari problem kya hai? tum khud aage badhke apne bure waqt ki ghadi set karti ho.” lmaooooooo that’s a brilliant line and exactly what she does!

standard DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AT MY FAMILY WRONG blah blah from riddhima.

trollolololololololololol i honestly just put up with this character just to see vishal play himmmmmmm

blah blah tell dadi that i should get the business, then the property, then the family, and then this room of his....... ew, gross implication of that room thing aside, bro slow your rolllllllllllll. also why are you tellling her all this??? why the fuckkkkk would you give her a heads-up?!?!!?!?

sweetheart bhi bola. ugh. i hate when any man calls any woman that. it sounds patronizing and condescending as fuckkkk. also i just don’t get why he wants to be like vansh so muchhhhhhhhh when HIS PERSONALITY IS OBJECTIVELY BETTER THAN VANSH’S WAS?!!?!?!!?

ok i’m bored with this scene now and fwding.

pls sis, don’t say wohiiiiiiiii shakal and all. new shakal is >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> old shakal. like, i have no words to describe the improvement.

here aryan be making some stupid shady deals and he’s like mwahahahahaha now that vansh is gone, there’s no one to stop me!!!!!! dude, he literally used to do that to prevent you from going to fucking jail, lmao. you are so fuckingggggggg dumb istg.

“sivaaye mere!” snort. this i’m gonna enjoyyyyyyyyyyy.

aryan like TU KAUN MAIN KHAMAAKHAAAAN?!!!?!? and quite rightly so.

this is their new thing in the show. they show this angle of kabir jab uski kuch zyaaaada hi khisakkkkk jaati hai. 

AKLSJALKFJSLKDJFLSDKJFLKDSJLFKJDSLKFJDSLKJFLSKJD OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

“seedhe mooh baat kii thi. tameez se jawaab dena chahiye tha.”

lmaooooooooooooooo i can’tttttttttt with this fuckerrrrrrr. why is he so fuckingggggg hilarious?????

meanwhile bhaabiji is back at mandir place asking around about vihaan. she’s describing him as “bodybuilder type” which, lol......... ok.

chaiwaala is i know who he is and can give you deets.

she’s like yehiiii haina???? and he’s like yeah kinda, but hotter. way hotter. ok he didn’t say it. i’m saying it. BUT IT’S THE TRUTH, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!

holy shit she just had to give him 2x my wholeass monthly rentttttttt to get the deets. what the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk????? ALSO MY GOD WHO JUST CARRIES AROUND THIS MUCH CASH IN THEIR LIL DINKY GOING-TO-THE-MANDIR PURSE???????????

bhaiyyaji very very happy with his loot of the day butttttttttttt.........

lmao this one like I WORKED REALLY HARD AS AN ACCOUNTANT TO EARN THAT WAD OF CASH THAT SHE JUST HANDED TO YOU OK??????? YOU THINK SHE MAKES THIS MUCH AS NO-NAME PHYSIOTHERAPIST WITH A GRAND TOTAL OF ONE CLIENT????? AND NOW I’VE HAD TO SWITCH CAREERS. IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC. I HAD TO LEARN A WHOLEEEEEEEE NEW SKILLSET. YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOURS I SPENT ON COURSERA AND UDEMY AND GITHUB RIGHT AFTER FALLING OFF A CLIFF?????????? DO YA???????????

sorry shaktimaan.

“virus hoon main. ek baar laga gaya na toh zindagi ka file corrupt kar doonga.” lmaoooooooooo lord the dumbass tech related metaphorsssss.

ok that’s a bit much but mmmmmm baby i love to watch you work. esp. this outfit, unf. it’s really getting me so damn hot for you.

khud ki hi biwi ka phone number score karke itnaaaaaa khush kisi ko hote hue pehli baar dekha hai.

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

aryan, who is literally tied to a chair is growling at kabir about how this won’t end well for him and kabir’s like..............

snorttttttttt i love this psychopathhhhhh.

kabir is like just use your ickle brain cell lil one. i’m a cop. i have alllll the details of every single shady thing you’ve done. first i’ll show it to the family, then to the authorities. and then there miiiiiiiiiiight be an encounter later.......... lmao yessssssssss, i love it.

“woh kya haina, samajhdaar ko ishaara kaafi hota hai. lekin tum itne samajhdaar nahi ho na, iss liye itne detail mein samjhaana pada!” i really cannot stop laughing at this scene. truly the evil bros dynamic i have been craving for from this show.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is enough for aryan to maarofy palti.

but ooooooooooops. he called him kabir. which we know is this one’s sore spot these days.

“kabir.................... sir?” lmfaooooooooooooo

hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

bitch wht you callllllll vansh?????

“kabir...... bhai.”

OMFG THE STRAIGHT UP ORGASM FACE HE MADE AT THAT?!?!!??!?! JESUS KABIR I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY FOR THIS. EVEN FREUD DIDN’T COME UP WITH A THEORY FOR WHATEVER FREAKY “BHAIYYA ISSUES” YOU HAVE GROWN ALL OF A SUDDEN OUTTA NOWHERE.

aryan is literally like...............................

“ab BHAIYYA ki do baat dhyaaaaan sunna, ok????”

ok deal done. do shady fuckers have allied. kaisi ram milaaye usa-uk type jodi hai paapiyon ki.

aryan like but everything belongs to dadi now, and dadi is forsho gonna hand it all over to her laadli riddhima, who hates your guts.

“tum jitna smart mujhe samajhte ho, usse kahinnnnnn zyaada smart hoon main.”

aryan like ok but fr how exactly are you gonna achieve this??????/

“bhagwaan ne pehle hi tumhe dimaag kam diya hai. issi umar mein sab use karloge toh aage kya karoge??? jitna bola gaya hai, utna karo.” LMAO PLS MAN CAN WHOEVER IS WRITING KABIR’S LINES WRITE THEM FOR VIHAAN TOOOOOOOO. COZ THESE ARE GENUINELY SO FUNNY AND HIS ARE SOOOOOOO FUCKING LAME.

riddhima walks in to aryan having already gotten dadi’s ear and having kabir involved in the business. he’s already signing papers and shit! idhar mereko debit card use karte waqt 4 baar sign karna hota hai to prove i’m the actual owner and didn’t just steal it from somewhere, and this guy just got signing authority to a wholeass empire in half an hour.

aryan talking soooooooooooo nicely about kabir and riddhima is like OK FOR SURE THIS FUCKER HAS BEEN THREATENED AND/OR BRIBED.

lmaooooooooo aryan again referred to him as “kabir” and K just cleared his throat all ominously. and promptlyyyyyyy aryan’s like “KABIR BHAI!!!! KABIR BHAI!!!!!!!!!”

uska jhattttt jawaaab bhi mil gaya universe se, hahahahahaha.

kaunsa bhai, kahaan ka bhai, haaaaan??????

oh boy. this angle again.

“isse vansh bhai ki jagah dena, business mein involve karna; kya deal hui hai tumhari, kitne mein becha hai tumne apne aap ko; bolo?!?!?!? ki tumhe yeh achanak se apna bhai lagne laga hai????” DAMN. I LOVE ISHANI. SHE’S SHARP AS A TACK. WHY THE FUCK WON’T DADI JUST GIVE HER THE EMPIRE?????????

dadi talking blah blah anupriya ka beta hai, yeh bhi tumhare bhai haina. god shut upppppppppp dadi.

“jeete-jee toh nahi, dadi. mere liye bhai ka sirf ek matlab tha, vansh bhai.” aw mannnnnnnnnnnn. i really hope we get more ishani/vansh-vihaan when he enters the house. i really wanna see more of their bond. he always was so soft for siya, but it’s so obvious that ishani loves him beyond belief. what a shame to not show us more of that.

“respect earn kii jaati hai, zabardasti lee nahi jaati.” DAMN RIGHT SIS. YOU TELL EMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

ab iss angle mein atke issko yeh kaun samjhaaye???

you know that realllllllllly dumbass cringeworthy song called psycho saiyyaan? they should remake it for this show and call it “aaya mora BHAIYYA psycho!!!”

so apt!

dadi apologizing some more for ishani and giving kabir khulaaaaaaaa rein to handle business. riddhima not happy about this and decides kuchhhhh toh karna hogaaaaaa.

she finally remembers of angre’s existence and that he is the only one who’ll really help her.

ISS GHAR KE SAARE MARD EK SE BADHKAR EK PAAGAL HAIN.

riddhima saying the saaaaaaame thing.

angre se bro ka judaai sahaa nahi jaa raha. brotp ho toh aisa.not that vansh articularly deserves this much love and loyalty, seeing the way he treated angre, but angre’s saying he was my boss, bhai, dost, everythingggggg to meeeee. awwww.

BUT ALSO THIS FUCKER FULLLLLY DOING THIS DRAMA HAVING HELPED VANSH SURVIVE AND CHANGE IDENTITIES, LIKH KE LELO MERE SE.

ishani coming in and is like at least he’s grieving bhai’s death. you toh let some other fucker into the house on bhai’s terhvi itself.

“sab apni life mein aage badh gaye hain. aise behave karr rahe hain jaise kuch hua hi nahi hai! kisi ko koi parvaah hi nahi hai ki vansh bhai humaare beech nahi hain.” aw mannn, i honestly love her the mosttttttttttttttt.

she’s like angre’s trying to take his pain out, usse toh chain paane do.

riddhima got a message from chaiwaala (no, not the one at 7, race course road) and bounces.

meanwhile angre is telling ishani to give the belt back and stop pretending she gives a fuck about him. she’s like i don’t, but i know you loved bhai as much as i do. so i won’t let you do this to yourself.

she’s like if you really want to honour him and give him peace, then we need to make a plan so that the fucker who’s ghusofied into his house can’t take his place. OMG YOU GUYS THEY’RE TEAMING UPPPPPPP?!?!?!??!!?  A GENTLE BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!! HONESTLY, VANSH’S DEATH HAS BROUGHT NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS TO THIS SHOW.

cutiepie is waiting for wifey to show up. has some stupidass tech dialogue to maarofy about it but the less said about that, the better.

“message padha bhi nahi??? kaise pata karoon????” lmao itna bada hacker hai, and he’s at the mercy of whatsapp ka blue tick feature like the rest of us. 

not to worry boo. she’s on her waaaaaay.

WHY THE FUCK DOES HE STILLLLLLLL HAVE ALL THE PICS OF THE FAM LYING OUT IF HE KNOWS SHE’S GONNA SHOW UP?!?!!?!?!?!

“intezaar bhi tab tak cute lagta hai jab tak frustrate na kar de; miss..... pretty raisinghania!” dude, whether he’s vansh or not, he’s simping so hard for her. i fucking love it.

oh shit she walks in as he’s heartttttteyeing over her piccccccc.

oh nope. he’s the flash flying jatt. already disappeared behind his desk.

yeah girl. i know. I KNOW!!!!!!!