#me when cain and abel from the bible | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astronicht · 9 months ago

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re: Mordor's location

I'm confused! I can understand being annoyed that Mordor is in the east (for me, it's because any new birth/new beginnings symbolism fails. BUT on the other hand, it works great with tolkien's biblical stuff - from study.com, "'East of Eden' is an allusion to the Biblical Book of Genesis. After Cain murders his brother Abel, he is exiled to the land of Nod, 'east of Eden' (Genesis 4:16)". I LOVE Tolkien's biblical symbolism, and smeagol murdering his brother is a direct cain/abel reference, so having the evil be to the east really works for me.

So I guess I'm just wondering if a) the symbolism thing is what irritates you about Mordor's location (or if there's something else I'm missing), and b) how does the evil being in the north resolve this?

Hey cool question!

Caveat that I’m literally just liveblogging my first ever read of LOTR, so while I read Hobbit as a kid and I know the movies and a good portion of the medieval prose and poetry Tolkien is drawing on very well, the only LOTR text I can reference is… from the Shire to Weathertop. Additionally, my perspective is as a medievalist, but I wasn't raised Christian and can’t speak to Tolkien’s personal faith, just to how he might use (and does use) historical Christianity (and a bunch of non-Christian narratives) in his work. At least like. Up to Weathertop.

Short answer a) not exactly! b) Because I expected evil to be in the north, and it checked that box. So-- your particular interest in Christian symbolism is immediately relevant here, because about 700 years before the King James Bible, in the medieval literature (and medieval Christianity) among which Tolkien has settled his own Middle-Earth, people had very very strong feelings about the cardinal directions, and North was heavily associated with Lucifer — this being stated explicitly in an Old English retelling of Genesis called The Old English Hexameron. Here, Lucifer's fall starts like this:

"with a presumptuous pride (moodiness) he said that he would make his throne above the stars of God, over the height of the clouds, in the north part, and be like unto God." (p. 17; not my translation but my guy Henry Wilkins Norman nailed it)

mid dyrstigre modignysse cwæð ðæt he wolde wyrcan his cynesetl bufan Godes tunglum ofer ðæra wolcna heannysse on ðam norð dæle and beon Gode gelic. (p. 16)

In non-Christian stories (though written down centuries later by Christians), the Gylfaginning in the Prose Edda describes Hel as “down and to the North” (sorry, just a link wiki here). So, same idea, and beyond these texts, North is generally associated with hell, death, or evil in early medieval literature, much more clearly than East usually is (even factoring in Old English and Old Norse stories about Cain, Attila the Hun, and the more exciting fauna of the Indian subcontinent, all of which formed the early medieval idea of East). Thus, finding out that an original Big Bad, of whom Sauron was “but a servant,” had once made his throne in the north made me go “OH! He didn’t forget after all!” in utter frustrated delight. My confusion wasn't exactly with evil in the east; it was the lack of evil in the north.

(this reply is really long, but my main point ends here, for anyone looking to bail out)

Actually, Genesis retellings in Old English are absolutely fascinating; I’m not wedded to Christian-only symbolism, but if it’s what you enjoy a lot, I very much suggest looking into the Hexameron and Genesis A, both great examples and very well known to Tolkien.

Personally I suspect I'll end up reading the symbolism of Mordor in the east as a more complex and varied thing than solely a reference to Cain's banishment. But to be really clear, in saying that I'm definitely not saying that Cain and Nod aren't valid interpretations (especially when they work for you so well!). Just my guess and my perspective. Old evil in the north and Mordor in the east is really interesting! So was the story of how Hobbits etc wandered out of the east to colonize the Shire, in another early medieval echo. And with Aragorn's throwaway "In those days the Great Enemy, of whom Sauron of Mordor was but a servant, dwelt in Angband in the North" I got an extra point on the map, from which the story immediately unspooled into an even wider and richer thing. Which is so neat, I love everyone in this bar, etc.

Just a quick further note on Smeagol, because I happen to have just gone past this bit and it's fresh! As far as I know at uhhh this very early point in LOTR (maybe it's changed later), Deagol was not his brother but simply his friend: “He had a friend called Deagol, of a similar sort, sharper-eyed but not so quick and strong” (though if you like the Cain and Abel imagery, this doesn't change that much tbh! I can see how it hits that note regardless). They are under the same matriarch (perhaps implying family ties) who eventually throws Smeagol out years after Deagol's murder; I liked that bit, bc I have no idea where Tolkien's pulling proto-hobbit matriarchs from yet, and Smeagol later lied and said the matriarch had given him the One Ring, implying that she was a ring-giver like an Old English/Norse thane or king. Smeagol and Deagol (and Frodo) are also wrapped up in lots of different tropes and symbols; Cain and Abel, yes, but also Beowulf and Grendel, and probably some other stuff I'll notice in like 10 years and yell at the ghost of Tolkien about. I think these stories work so well because they’re layers upon layers. It’s stories all the way down, you know!

Much like this reply, which is endless, so sorry about that.

#IMMENSELY LONG ASK REPLY IM SORRY IM SORRY #ask replies #astro lotr #with further apologies for being pedantic but also not doing my own translations

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mistystarshine · 3 months ago

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Considering some of your current answers, do you think that sexism is the reason Sera is so hated by the fanbase, even though she sports some good characteristics (that are completely removed in fanworks featuring her as a prominent character)? That, or media illiteracy (combined with sexism)?

I think that sexism is definitely part of it. I also think that media illiteracy is also a decent chunk of it. However, in terms of fanwork specifically, I think there's a completely unrelated reason that is a big part of it.

Hazbin Hotel only gave us five angels with names, and only four of them possess characterization: Adam, Lute, Sera, and Emily. That means that if you want an angel to serve as a villain and you want them to be a canon character, you need to use one of them. Emily is out unless you either get really OOC or REALLY creative. Adam and Lute are obvious choices, but if you're doing a story where they're sympathetic or getting a redemption arc, they're out. Or even if they aren't, but you want more than one angelic villain, who does that leave you with? Sera.

The simple fact of the matter is that, unless they are very well-written, OOC characters tend to be more well-received than OCs. There are a lot of people who will outright refuse to give a fic a chance if they know that an OC plays a prominent role. If you want your OC to be well-received, you need to write them well, and that's intimidating! There are people who don't give a shit and are comfortable writing prominent at any experience level, and more power to them! But for other writers, it becomes nerve-wracking. You also need to consider that this is the Hazbin fandom, specifically. It feels, at least to me, that if your story is going to include a prominent OC, they need to be taken from the bible. But not everyone is comfortable writing bible characters who haven't appeared in canon. (I know that I probably wouldn't even if paid! But that's also a little bit due to spite over how much I've been pressured and nagged to write about Eve, Cain, and Abel.) That means that if you're writing an outright OC, there's even more pressure for them to be well-written to "justify" not using a bible character.

No one likes receiving mean comments. When you write OCs, you face an increased risk of receiving mean comments. What's more accepted? Sanding off a complex character's positive attributes to make them fit in an exaggerated or relatively flat villainous role, especially when it's a character who the fanbase does not particularly like.

And you know what? I don't blame them for it! No, I personally won't read fanfics where a character is written especially OOC, even if it is purely because the story needs a villain. Yes, I encourage people to write OCS when there is a hole in the story that needs filling and no canon characters fit. But developing your own characters is hard! It takes lots of time and practice.

I use OCs when there's a gap in the story that none of the canon characters can fill, such as Anastasia and the residents of Oak Creek in Live Again, but it is also worth mentioning that I have been writing for sixteen years. I am actively writing original novels for publishing. I am perfectly comfortable designing my own characters for fics and confident in my ability to flesh them out enough to feel like actual character. But when I was less experienced, I was terrified to include OCs in any of my writing to the point of altering my plots if I would have needed to create an original character for it to work. If you have a story that you want to tell, aren't comfortable writing OCs, and need to write a character OOC to get a villain, then go for it. (Just... don't forget that your characterization isn't canon and start harassing other people for not using the same characterization. This goes for both writing canonically heroic or morally gray characters as outright villains and writing canonically villainous characters as heroic.)

That said... I, personally, would rather read a fic with an OC villain than one with an OOC villain, any day of the week. So what if their writing is a little flawed? People tend to forget that there's a wide spectrum in between 'insufferable Mary Sue' and 'would fit right into canon'. Just because your OC doesn't slot in perfectly doesn't mean that they'll be bad, and you won't get any better at writing them if you don't practice.

#answer #hazbin hotel #hh #hazbin hotel sera #sera #writing #fanfic writing #long post

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sillysnack · 1 year ago

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word vomit about kusuo and kusuke and another pair of iconic siblings in media (the bible)

girl that cant stop associating kusuke and kusuo with cain and abel from the bible. particularly the brother murders his brother part; of course, kusuke does not murder kusuo but. like. you know. kitty tank arc. lol. when he flew nenkai to london but thats a less extreme example...

because of this post i am reading analyses on the bible. i'll reference this one a lot lol

perhaps this one too

god favoring abel's offering more... cain murdering abel out of jealousy... then he is cursed. 1) he would no longer able to grow crops on his land and 2) he will live his life as a wanderer

oh also.

* not scripture. merely a break down.

that part of reminded me of when someone praised kusuke, saying that he helped get their paper to a grade of 98, declared him even a "genius of science" (or something along those lines!!). kusuke responds, saying that he is no genius. the real geniuses are those that can defy science itself (referring to kusuo)

i apologize :-( i don't really know where i'm going with this, to be honest. anytime i see a post mentioning kusuke and kusuo's relationship my mind goes to cain and abel 😭

you could even say something about kusuo and kusuke from the fact cain and abel both tend to god's creations but abel tends to the flock while cain, the crops.

^ something about kusuo's telepathy and, shenanigans aside, his life is simple in PK, in comparison to kusuke's assumingly busy? life in cambridge. its the similar school setting but the levels and blahhhhh. different

tl;dr the cain&abel -> kusuke&kusuo connection is there in my head but it wont......... i cant put it into proper words........

#cloud talks a lot #i dont feel like tagging much because. huhuhuhuh #saiki kusuke #saiki kusuo

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ahhvernin · 3 months ago

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Every so often I come across the story of Cain and Abel and how Cain killed Abel in a fit of jealousy and he was marked by God and punished and everyone hates him because he was a murderer. I hate that story. Hear me out as someone who read the Bible out of spite because classmates kept harassing me for not knowing the art pieces we were studying in Art History Class... I hate it because god created the situation for jealousy to arise. He gave both lads a job. Abel the job of a shepherd and Cain the job of a farmer. Then they were suppose to give Big Daddy an offering. Abel gives him a lamb and Cain gives him his harvest. And Big Papa, dismisses Cain's gift and efforts in favor of the lamb.

Then the murder thing happened. BUT

Its never explained why the God didn't like Cain's offering. God, the entity who supposedly made the Garden of Eden, or OG gardener, didn't like or accept a harvest gift!

Now anyone who gardens or anyone who receives harvests from a gardener, knows how much work goes into growing those veggies and fruits. The grower generally is pretty happy if anything grows, often wants to share it, is happy to share it, and is happier when someone accepts them, and the receiver is usually pretty happy too.

But God was like , nah bro, you didn't it wrong, but you should still be happy even though what you did was wrong. Chill, or Sin will get you. For all we know, Cain tilled the land, seeded the land, fed and watered the land, tended the fields, maybe even let Abel graze in areas that he had worked on or even gave Abel some of the weeds and harvest to him and his sheep. And God just dismisses all that hard work! Cain probably felt REALLY scorned by this.

Because honestly. Imagine being told to do a job, and you put all your effort into it, and finally make something, and you present it to the person who gave you the job and they were just like "Yeah I like John Doe's work, you can put that away. Smile. So what if I don't want to look at it. You should be happy that you did it." Fuck. I would be broiling mad too! My rage would be so high I would probably be destroying things too. I'd probably hate John Doe too! Because more than likely I would have probably been like, "yeah buddy I'll help you out here, we're in this together. Lets get the jobs done" Story conveniently leaves out if Abel came in Cain's defense and was like "Hey Lord, look at Cain's offering too!" or maybe he was just like competition won, bro. We don't know!

Sure, the murder was wrong, but given that it was probably the first time it was really experienced in human history, the emotion probably didn't even have a name yet. And amidst of all of that raw emotion, God punishes Cain, and literally tells him that he will never be able to tend to the land and leaves him to wander as a nomad. Like my dude. This isn't about rage quitting, this is all about God giving Cain a job. dismissing his hard work, and flat out was like you can't do the job I gave you anymore and if you try, I'll make sure you fail for the rest of your life, oh and everyone will know you as the one who killed your brother in a fit of rage with no fault from me!

That Shit would not have happened, if God just accepted both, and accepted that both are offerings and neither is deemed more worthier than the other because the intention of giving was there. But Cain though scorned, still built communities, his children made homes and tools. So fuck the people who only know Cain for his jealousy and crime and use his name to continue to scorn, dismiss and treat people badly, without ever trying to see what lead them to their bad actions or just simply existing and doing their best. So then we bring it back to my AP Art history class. I read the Bible, so I could better understand material and hopefully not get harassed by classmates... Some of my classmates told me that it didn't matter that I read the Bible or could recognize and understand the class material better now, I would NEVER really understand the art and that their years of going to church somehow made them understand the art better. I got a the highest grade for that unit and got a 4 on the AP exam. So yeah Cain.

My take away from the story was, people will dismiss your hard work, you will get slighted, sometimes you will do bad things, you might get ostracized, realize some people cannot be changed and some cannot be bothered to learn about the truth, so separate yourself from them, find people who will support you, be resourceful and success in yourself and for the people who do care for you.

AND don't be gaslit into smiling, nodding and doing unnecessary or unrecognized work-- because you deserve recognition for your efforts.

PS. If you don't like my take on this, sure. I read it on my own, with a lens of wanting to learn and with curiosity, not to be converted. I read it solely to understand another human being's work and possible thoughts when creating a piece of art and not wanting to be harassed by classmates. which I still did. And what I got out of the Bible is solely my experience, and I thought God was rather a temperamental figure, I had many qualms with the stories and this was one of them and you don't have to like or accept this take. But also know what I got out of it... even if you don't like it....I still hope people recognize the time and effort you do and you are not solely recognized for the one mistake you did.

#bible #cain and abel #cain #hard work #work ethic #work #life #mistake #recognition

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francis-writes · 8 months ago

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I'm super entranced by Ethel Cains 'Inbred'. Hear me out. Feyd to that song... He's just so religious satire and cannibalism as a form of love language coded. 'Touch me till i vomit' and 'He's so good to me and to nobody else, so you can fuck yourself' or 'If he wakes up, He'll show you what I'm talking about' STOOOOOOOOOOPPP fuming at the mouth

[I understood this are just thoughts about character, not a request, so if I'm wrong, please correct me. I suck at understanding intentions and anything that isn't put plain lol]

Unfortunately I don't listen to Ethel Cain (I heard her, just not my type of music) but you got me at cannibalism as a form of love. I love all the cannibalistic, gore, violent metaphors, idk maybe it's because I just like a man covered in blood, maybe because that how love feels when you're mentally ill.

Okay, so I'm checking my collection of cannibalism/love posts and somehow I forgot that I literally kept a screenshot of Ethel Cain herself.

Also kinda this:

Though I didn't think about religious satire before. I mean, I only wondered how much he knew about his role in Bene Gesserit's plans and whether it was any different for him than pressure of being an heir to house Harkonnen. So hard to say how he felt about being an important step in plan to create Kwisatz Haderach but I often compare his relations with people to biblical stories (I'm not Christian anymore but that's what growing up in religious household does to a mf). Like him and Paul, like Jesus and John the Baptist. Both born in the same time, both destined by God to great things. But no matter his talents and skills, he was the second. I don't know how much Frank Herbert was inspired by the Bible and how much it's my obsession with christian symbolism but also: especially Paul but also Feyd as important part of Kwisatz Haderach plan, remind me about Jesus and Isaac. Promised by God, special ones, admired, destined to great things, but also supposed to be sacrificed.

And Feyd and Rabban remind me about a few cases of siblings in the Bible, but mostly Cain and Abel? Elder brother jealous and bitter than the younger is God's favourite, that whatever Abel does is appreciated and praised, meanwhile efforts of Cain keep being rejected. There's a popular picture (bc Bible doesn't explain how God expressed his opinions on the offerings) that when they burnt their offerings for Lord, smoke from Abel's offering rised to the Heaven, showing that his gift was accepted and that Abel was worthy in God's eyes. Meanwhile smoke from Cain's offering floated downward. And I am just like. Yeah, that's Rabban and Feyd. And also Joseph and his brothers when he had dreams that all his siblings will bow to him...

Okay, I think I should stop here because I wandered out off topic and tbh I could continue this monologue about Dune/Bible correlation for a long, long time.

Apart from all my incoherent ramblings, I checked that song, and yeah... this is so Feyd (even the title, bc I suppose that in Dune marriages between close family in noble houses were rather popular; after all they wanted Feyd to marry Jessica's daughter, that would be his close cousin. Let me tell you, my family is from small village and for many generations there were marriages between close cousins, and if nobody stopped my grandma, she would marry family too. And I am a living mentally ill proof of how inbreeding ends)

#feyd rautha #feyd rautha harkonnen #beast rabban #rabban harkonnen #glossu rabban #paul muad'dib #bene gesserit #dune #dune 2023 #dune part two #ethel cain

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hypodermicfroggy · 11 days ago

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The demons seized me again and when they finally released me, this was made.

"What Makes A Sinner?": Source and Character Axis Dynamics

Source Purist, Charcter Purist: Sinner must be a *main* character from a *classical* literary source. >>Example: Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is a Sinner. Source Purist, Character Neutral: Sinner must be a *main* character from a literary source. >>Example: Damien Karras from The Exorcist is a Sinnner. YES I KNOW I USED HIS FILM VERSION IN THE CHART, SHUSH. Source Purist, Character Radical: Sinner must be a *main* character from any media source. >>Example: Isaac from The Binding of Isaac is a Sinner. Source Neutral, Character Purist: Sinner must be a character from a *classical* literary source. >>Example: Lavinia from Titus Andronicus is a Sinner. Source Neutral, Character Neutral: Sinner must be a character from a literary source. >>Example: Fernald the Hook-Handed Man from A Series of Unfortunate Events is a Sinner. Source Neutral, Character Radical: Sinner must be a character from any media source. >>Example: Sir Pentious from Hazbin Hotel is a Sinner. Apologies for being a Viviziepop fan on main. Source Radical, Character Purist: Sinner must be something from a *classical* literary source. >>Example: The rock from Cain's murder of Abel in The Bible is a Sinner. Source Radical, Character Neutral: Sinner must be something from a literary source. >>Example: The Bentley from Good Omens is a Sinner. Source Radical, Character Radical: Sinner must be something from any source. >>Example: YOU from real life are a Sinner!

#it's almost 3:30 AM here I have therapy tomorrow. I did this instead.#Limbus Company #literature #literary sources #Limbus Memes #fun fact: three of these are actually fan sinners of mine that I've been working on #croak.txt

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orionthecritter · 2 months ago

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OKAY! I HAVE A SMALL LIL THEORY ABOUT TADC ANS ITS ADVENTURES!! IF YOU STILL HAVENT WATCHED THE NEW EPISODE, PLEASE DO CAUSE IM GONNA SPOIL SOME STUFF FROM IT!!

OKAY! I noticed something while watching one of my fav YouTubers reacting to TADC, they were talking about how the show is like some sort of allegory for the bible, which makes sense considering everything that has happened in the past two/three episodes, in the pilot when Pomni goes into that weird liminal type space when trying to leave the circus, she enters an office which as the intitals of C&A (Caine and Abel), Caine is considered a god to NPCS, and obviously there’s the angel in the newest episode. SO IT GOT ME THINKING!!!! We all know of Dante’s Inferno, right? If you don’t, I highly recommend looking it up! And the one thing the YouTuber I was watching said ‘It’s like Pomni keeps on getting deeper and deeper’ or something like that, and I was like ‘Lol, it’s kinda reminds me of ultra kill.’

AND THEN! IT HIT ME!! THERE ARE THREE EPISODES SO FAR!! AND IF GOOSEWORX MAKES IT UP TO NINE EPISODES, THEN THIS THEORY MIGHT BE PRETTY DAMN CLOSE TO WHATEVER SHES PLANNING!!

This right here is Dante’s Inferno, and I noticed similarities in the episodes that can be tracked back here, but it was confusing, cause at first if didn’t make sense when I looked at it, and was about to throw the idea away when I thought of something, what if you looked at it backwards? AND HOLY FUCK GUYS! IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE WHEN YOU DO!!! My main theory about the episodes is that Pomni is gonna have to go through hell (Literally and figuratively) before she could actually escape from the circus. And so, the minute the fourth episode comes out, I will be keeping an eye out for anymore biblical references, AND IF I NOTICE THAT THERES A SIMILARITY TO HERESY IN IT, THEN BE PREPARED FOR MY INSANITY CAUSE IM GOING TO EXPLODE IF THIS IS RIGHT IN SOME WAY.

There was originally more I wanted to say, but I accidentally deleted the half of it so you get the short version :P

#sorry if some of this doesn’t make sense or if I swerve from the topic a bit #IT JUST GOT ME EXCITED AND I WANTED TO TELL SOMEONE!!!!!#caine tadc #tadc pomni #Caine and Abel #bible allegory #tadc spoilers #tadc theory

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vulpes-stuff · 9 months ago

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So for one of my classes, I had to take a story from the Hebrew Bible and rewrite it so I rewrote the storey of Cain and Abel from Lucifer's perspective

Take your crumbs you little hazbin gremlins

Favorites. The Lord always chose favorites. Lucifer glared up at the living as he watched a man murder his own blood simply for the attention of a Lord who wanted to morph the world into his own, who wanted to control every waking moment these humans had. He scowled when he saw God turn Cain away for not being worthy, but what does it truly mean to be worthy? Both of the boys were worthy in their own right but the Lord was simply too blind to see that. Abel provided his blood with warmth and clothing, while Cain gave them the food they needed. Both were worthy in the aspects of providing, giving their blood life.

Perhaps the Lord simply dislikes fruit because of his actions. Perhaps the Lord detests it and does not wish for fruit that could have come from the tree in Eden. But there was nothing wrong with that fruit! The Lord was angry at him! Why must he let that anger out on the blood from the man he has created? All Lucifer wished was to provide the creations with knowledge and dreams, freewill and joy, but the Lord simply did not agree with it, angered that he couldn’t mold these creations exactly how he pleases, and has let that anger infect him, controlling his every move.

Lucifer sighed, the Lord truly is unjust. No man should be punished for another man’s sin. Why must Cain suffer for his parents doing? For Lucifer’s doing? The man simply wished to provide, all he wished was to care for the family around him, including the man who’s blood now stained his hands. Lucifer’s glare sharpened as he watched the earth drink the blood and eat the body that was once Abel, watching as she enjoyed her meal but knew that not every being will have the same feelings towards the death of Abel.

He watched as the Lord came to Cain about the sin, watched as the Lord asked for Abel. He struggled not to laugh at his response to the Lord, smiling at the point he made while it only seemed to full God’s rage towards the man. Good, Lucifer snarled. Feel enraged, Lord, for this blood is on your hands as much as it’s on the poor boys. You pushed this boy past his limit by favoring his brother without an explanation to your actions, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Lucifer knew that the Lord would never hear his words, knew the Lord would never see past his sins, much like he was now towards poor Cain. He pities the boy, but emphasizes with him as he watches the Lord curse him, treating him as an outsider, much like he had done to the fallen angel. God never changes, does he? It’s always follow my will or you will be damned. Think not for yourself, but for me. What a truly unjust being. One cannot damn another for his sins even with his hands drenched with sins of his own, yet here the Lord is, damning a boy for his sins before acknowledging his own. Lucifer may be prideful, but the Lord is more so.

Lucifer watches as the boy runs, watches as he tries to live with the mark the Lord has cursed him with. And he envies the boy as he watches him succeed, building a city and a family of his own, watches as he grows old and dies as his family continues to grow. He watches as the Lord ignores the family until a boy, Noah, is born. He watches as the Lord favors the boy, much more than he had anyone else in the bloodline, even saving the boy from his flood.

Favorites. The Lord will always choose favorites.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel story #lucifer morningstar #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer magne

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scribeforchrist-blog · 5 months ago

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Holding on To Half

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Psalm 46:5 God is within her; she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM COMPLETE

I AM FINISHING THE TASK

I AM FOCUSED ON GOD

I AM FILLED WITH JOY

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

Sometimes, when we have a chorus to do, we get halfway into it, we don’t want to finish it or get a prescription for medication, and once we feel better, we stop taking it or when we are about to clean up the living room, we only vacuum and don’t dust; we don’t do anything else because we don’t feel like going the extra mile to complete what we must do. We all have done half of something and called it a day, and sometimes, that disrupts our plans for another day because we must pick up where we left off, and we get so aggravated that we won't even try anymore to complete the task at hand.

We often see what Jesus is doing, and we think this isn’t enough, so we doubt that he can handle the things we want , but whatever Jesus is doing in our life, he is doing it for a reason. Whatever he does, he isn’t going halfway; Jesus never does anything halfway; maybe we only get half because that's all he wants us to have,; a lot of us don’t stop and look at what we are doing because we are too busy pointing the finger at Him then to point the finger at ourselves.

God wants us to know that everything he did, he did everything to help us, sustain us, and push us through. I can remember I felt so tired for several days, and I asked the Holy Spirit . I said Holy Spirit ; I feel so tired. I said this must be a spiritual attack , and he told me no, Lui, this isn't spiritual; you're not sleeping the way you should. I was ready to point the finger and not look at myself, and I immediately realized that sometimes we all do this. We are ready to blame others for something we are doing. This has happened so many times in the bible, and many of us are doing this now; we won't ask God to help us where we are because we don’t want to blame ourselves for what we are doing; look at Cain.

Genesis 4:10 The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand.

He didn’t look at his mistake in this; he looked at Able and immediately became angry because he felt that Abel was favored, and he wasn’t. Abel's sacrifice was accepted because he did what was right; he didn’t make his sacrifice halfway; maybe Cain did it out of laziness, maybe he thought what he gave would slide , maybe because he thought God would accept this, but just like God doesn’t do anything halfway in our life, we shouldn’t do anything in our life or for him halfway this is also a good example of only giving God half of what he is due, some of us only give him half of our selves, some of us give half of our lives as a sacrifice when we should give it all to him.

When will we ever stop looking at others and their circumstances and look at what we can do for our lives? Many of us have this bad; we are so ready to point to the sky and fuss with God, but have we prayed, worshiped, or praised God? A lot of us won't do any of this and then we ask God why does this person have, but we aren’t looking at the small praise or the half praise we give; we got to start giving more of ourselves to him; we got to start taking accountability and stop using God or anything as a scapegoat to our failure to be dedicated to what is right.

Mark 8:23-24 He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”24 He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”

One day, Jesus went to heal a man, and when he did, Jesus made mud over the guy's eyes. He said what do you see the man said everyone looks like trees walking around, Jesus could’ve left him seeing everyone like this; he could’ve said Well, this is what you have. I'm done for today, or he could’ve even said Well, at least you can see something; he could’ve done this halfway. Still, Jesus doesn’t do anything halfway; he doesn’t bless us or free us halfway; the reason why some of us don’t have everything we won't because maybe it isn’t our season, maybe it isn’t what God wants us to have right now but maybe later he will give us what we want but Jesus doesn’t do anything halfway and neither should we but look at what Jesus does after this.

Verse 25-26 Once more, Jesus touched the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything. 26 Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t even go into the village.”

He goes back, and he stores the man's sight; he saw everything; this is what Jesus wants to do in some of our lives right now; he wants us to see the sin in our lives; he wants us to see him clearly, and he wants us to walk in it but what happens is we don’t want the full touch of Jesus because we know once we have it we will see what we are doing and how we handling things aren’t the way Jesus wants us to handle it.

This week, we talked about being on fire for God having a big blaze; we can't have a big blaze if we are halfway doing anything or won't take accountability for our actions, and once we have this big blaze, the desire for God will grow ,the desire to dwell where he is will grow ,because we are finally allowing God to be enough and letting go of the things of this world, what are we doing to capture our blaze are we dwelling in his presence ,are we allowing him to feed us spiritually with his word ,or do we doubt his ability to be enough where ever you are in life every day ask God what is it that you can work on to change what you're doing and he will help you.

*** Today, we talked about taking accountability and finishing what we have started; a lot of us have gifts and talents that God has given us, and we won't use them; we only use them when we feel like it; some of us have blessings that we feel are incomplete, but they're not, God is going to give us what he feels we can handle and give us what we need, sometimes we have to stop looking at maybe it’s this or that and say no maybe its me , I cannot commit to something real and true, sometimes committing scares some of us even in the smallest way we get so scared because we don’t want to break it or we don’t want to mess up.

We all will stumble and have problems, and that’s why God is there to show us the way. A lot of times, we don’t want him to because we don’t think he’ll understand or that he’ll do it right. Still, whatever God does in our life, we must understand he's doing it for us, not to hurt us but to help us along the way; this week's lessons have taught us so much, and the one thing we can take away from theses devotionals is that we need to dwell. We need to be satisfied only by Jesus, not in other things but in him. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, help us hear you when you speak and help us take accountability for our actions, not doing anything halfway but doing it with all our hearts. God, we give you everything, and we ask you to show us our errors; lord, we thank you for allowing us to understand your word this week; we ask you to show us the way into your presence; lord, we praise you for the good and the bad. God, thank you for always showing us the way and helping us. In Jesus' Name Amen

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REFERENCES

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+ Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

+ Romans 14:12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

+ Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

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FURTHER READINGS

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Proverbs 29

Job 22

Isaiah 29

2 Thessalonians 1

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everchanging-cryptid · 1 year ago

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live reacting to The Amazing Digital Circus Pilot because I just realized it came out

it’s all pixelly and then not, neat Ooh, ringmaster’s a fun character, love him

oh, Cain, like the Bible brother maybe?

Time loop?

Lol the flowerpot glitching through the floor

Hostile VR, nice

Haha, no swearing

I would very much like to live in this building

Can relate to Kinger, I too would love to chat with people about an insect collection

The ribbon guy reminds me of Will from the webcomic Nevermore

Blue screening when you need to come up with a list, same

I can’t tell if he’s gonna be a scary character or a funny character, that’s really cool

Why does the moon want to fuck him

Why are you like this

Ooh he’s hiding something yeah

Ok, he does not have control over minds, good to know, and he said “one of the few” so maybe he can’t control other things

Never tell a fae-like entity “I don’t care, just pick anything”

“Whaddya think of: *mouth keysmash*” lol

Pomni, that’s a fun name

“YOU PARASITE!!!” Had me laughing for like 2 minutes straight

Just pop the interrupting people

r u b b e r h o s e a n i m a t i o n b u n n y yeah favorite character material right there

I love how they all just talk over each other but you can still hear what they’re each saying

Assigned “Most Mentally Stable” at mental breakdown

Ooh, I see a bunch of X-ed out faces on the doors, did they get permakilled or something?

The framed artworks make me incredibly happy

Uhoh, Pomni went to the petrified place /reference

Where did you get a centipede???

Ooh that’s not good

he reminds me of a corrupted gem from Steven universe

Ooh that looks painful ouch

Love those broken object physics, beautiful

I love the sense of perspective, when the camera is further back and Pomni looks so isolated

I think Kinger might be the most relatable character tbh

Kaufmo just is not funny is he

God the comedic timing for Jax is PERFECT

RADICAL

Love a good bowling pin joke

Ok I take it back the comedic timing on Kinger is the best I was crying at the perfectly cut scream

Hmm I think poor kiddo Pomni here needs a break to cry

Ooh water cube room I like that

oh that’s terrifying they can just shoot faces at you

Well that’s certainly not Cain

Pfft they rock paper scissors and he won but did the thing anyway

“Oh.” *watches his hands float away*

HIS EYES DID THE CLOCK THING

Can the next person teleported in be a therapist because hot damn have we got some trauma up in here

:o barrel of monkeys! :D

NOOOO THE MONKEYS

Oh door?

Nope nope nope nope nope nope

Oh that’s some backrooms shit right there

Hot damn take a chill pill bro you already got him he’s dead

“This is dumb and weird.” Yeah im gonna quote that forever now thanks

“Ah thank GOD you’re okay, you didn’t experience a game show in there did you?” “Uhhhh… I— What are you talking about?”

Abstracted, like becoming abstract? Becoming just a vague feeling, a mere idea? Ooh that’s some good stuff right there

I too love the sound of a silent moving staircase

Oh this is gonna be fuckin terrifying I see how it is

Musty old computer causes mental breakdown? Interesting

C&A CAIN AND ABEL I FREAKIN CALLED IT YES oh that has some interesting implications now doesn’t it hmm souls trapped in a computer perhaps?

Oh shit it’s the void

I’ll take 5 wacky watches please

ha fourth wall break

oh Pomni is actually broken aren’t they

oh are those all the others who were crossed out

ooh healing spell

Pomni is not okay

analysis on digital eating okay sure

oh that’s an earth shattering ending oh my gosh I feel like I just experienced eldritch enlightenment

Can not wait for more possible episodes! It’s incredible, I highly recommend checking it out! ^^

#the amazing digital circus #digital circus #tadc

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craecm · 9 months ago

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y’know someone i love exploring?

abel.

in christianity and indeed, anyone intrigued with the ‘lore’ of the bible, there’s a high focus in the cain and abel story, on cain. and that’s totally understandable! a man full of guilt and jealousy, a murderer, and our ancestor. he deserves a lot of attention, he’s very fascinating.

i mean there’s so many mediums of art that have focused on this idea - of us originating from cain, a man who cursed and twisted his family line.

he’s a great point of discussion and interest, but so is abel.

the idea that i believe the bible is trying to build is that abel was an innocent man. just a younger brother who worked hard for god, and glorified him by offering all that he could. that he did not deserve, in any capacity, to die, and that was the horror of cain’s actions (bc we all know the bible does actually promote murder if the right circumstances are met).

but i’d like to introduce a different idea instead. the idea that abel knew cain was jealous, angry, less capable. that he fed off of doing better than him, being the golden child, and so on. that when god told cain to do better, abel felt cocky. it certainly changes how both cain and abel can be viewed.

viewing the murder as a true maddening moment from cain’s point of view, where he has no way to deal with this jealousy except through physical means, because he cannot deal with being toyed with anymore. and then, after it all, god calls once more for that brother, and cain is enraged. why is everything still about him?

then, abel being the worse of the two, but still cain is said to have doomed his lineage. how screwed could we have been if abel survived? would he have been blamed too? to what degree can god find fault in human nature?

though, i do certainly like the idea that perhaps abel simply did not understand how he was making his older brother feel. that he was only doing his job, that he trusted and even looked up to cain. perhaps he only truly wanted to impress cain, and god was in the middle of it all. and then to be murdered by him, after only being invited to take a walk? how terrified he must have been.

its also the fact that abel was a shepherd. he brought murder into the world, as a victim of such, and so the first murder foreshadowed the most important. jesus, as a shepherd also. the first sacrifice for the later sacrifice. but he was only a man, who had nothing but his mother and father, brother and sheep. that was all the world was then, and still he was not safe.

lastly, the fact that abel was replaced by seth.

not to say that the passing of a child disables someone from having another, but the wording gets me here. “in place of abel”. this idea that abel’s space is something that can be filled.

in essence, abel was born to work. he had a duty of it, seeing as his father had just recently been condemned to toil the soil to earn food, rather than have it readily available. in his oppressive job, he worked and gave everything he Could give to god. did he enjoy the glory? we do not know, but one of his own, one who was going through hardship just like him, murdered him for it. did it matter? no, not truly. another would take his place.

#yes this is why my oc is called abel #bible scripture #bible #religious deconstruction #religion critical #christianity #cain and abel #justice for abel frfr #professional yapper #religious imagery #arthur goes wild on the bible

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thesilliestofgals · 1 year ago

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The pilot for The Amazing Digital Circus dropped on Friday, and it's absolutely taken over my brain and become my new hyperfixation, so of course I'm going to ramble incoherently for like 30-40 minutes trying to construct a theory about it.

Ready? No? Well neither am I because hoo boy is there a lot to unpack here!

(WARNING: spoilers under the cut!)

I want to get this out of the way first- the pilot, in my honest opinion, is a treasure trove of those golden foreshadowing nuggets. The video I linked does a really good job of showing most of them. There is one moment, however, I believe, that is foreshadowing and was looked over.

This moment right here... they lurked on it for a reason. "But Nonny!" you protest, "Maybe it was just to show how surprised Pomni was when she finally got a full look at her new body!" And sure, that could be the explanation, but that just... isn't satisfying for me. I have an idea we'll see this scene recreated down the road- Pomni escapes back to the real world and is running from something or someone, and is able to see her human form in a mirror or window or other reflective surface.

On the topic of Pomni... When I first heard the "How do I... take this... headset off?!" My theory brain immediately jumped to "Oh, VR!", but then I thought, "Well, she could be referring to her jester hat". Glad to know I was right, as Pomni says, after failing to take it off, "I-I-I put on some... weird headset and now I'm... here." Later on, when she's running through the office, she stops and we see this:

It's... weird. Out of everything in that office, that stopped her, and it caused a very visceral reaction. I have many questions about how exactly this office is even here (did Caine make it? If so, how would he know what an office looks like?), but something stood out to me the most.

On the far right looks like a weird headset. Perhaps this is the headset Pomni was talking about.

This ties in with another very important detail.

Since the release of TADC, there's a theory that the circus is the creation by a company, and those in the circus are/were employees or beta testers for the digital circus. I want to add onto this theory that. Maybe this company is a bit more.. malicious, and this beta testing wasn't entirely voluntary. Perhaps those trapped in the circus are employees who discovered the truth behind what the company is really doing (what nefarious stuff could it be doing? No clue!). This could work- perhaps Pomni was close to finding something out, so she was manipulated into becoming a "beta tester" for TADC and got trapped there.

You know, "C & A" reminded me of "Cain and Abel"... Now, that first name sounds... familiar...

"Ok," you pipe up again, "but Caine is AI. This is been established. So, how in the world would he be able to make a (presumed) company with another individual?" Well, it could be likely that Caine was named after one of the founders of this company- or maybe he's considered a "founder" of the company. I dunno, this part of my theory needs to be fine-tuned a bit.

ALSO, WHILE ON THE TOPIC OF CAIN & ABEL: TADC seems to make callbacks to the Bible. This post does a really good at explaining it, but to summarize: at the end of the pilot, we get this scene:

The post I linked points out this setup looks very similar to Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper painting. And honestly, considering everything? This isn't too far of a reach. I'll have to keep an eye out in future episodes to see if any more of the bible references show up.

Back to Pomni- something that interested me was, after Ragatha was healed, Pomni's hand glitch healed, too.

...Why? Caine didn't snap his fingers at Pomni, but her glitching stopped when Ragatha's did. Perhaps Pomni's glitching was connected to Ragatha's, so when Caine healed Ragatha, it extended to Pomni. I'm very interested to learn more about abstracting and glitching.

Speaking of abstracting... one last thing before I finish off.

This right here... worries me. The whole Cellar thing implies that the abstracting problem has been happening probably since the beginning of the Circus. And by Caine just tossing these creatures away... I have a feeling this'll end up biting him in the butt later.

This is really I have so far. If I think of anything else, I'll be sure to add it. I know this theory was kinda all over the place, but I just wanted to get it thought there.

#nonny's nonsense #the amazing digital circus #tadc #the amazing digital circus spoilers #tadc spoilers #the amazing digital circus theory #tadc theory

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lostloveletters · 1 year ago

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Bruised Fruit Chapter 4 (Michael Corleone x OC)

Summary: In the Bible, Cain killed Abel, and when confronted by God responded, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” But Michael isn’t Cain, and Gloria isn’t God. She doubts he’d answer her if she were.

Note: Thank you everyone who's read the fic on here and AO3! Your support means a lot to me🖤

Warnings: Angst, canonical major character death, emotional manipulation. Sexually explicit content that involves vaginal fingering.

Do not interact if you are under 18 or post thinspo/ED content. I will block you.

Chapter 3 | AO3 Link | Masterlist

“Were you at Guadalcanal?” she had asked, his eyebrows raising in the slightest display of surprise. “I remember reading that article in Life magazine about you. My brother was there, but he won’t talk about it.”

That was the first conversation she had with Michael after Fredo’s brief introductions between them. A clumsy encounter, awkward, even, as she could tell Michael was politely tolerating her presence for his brother’s sake until she couldn’t help but bring up Guadalcanal. Suddenly, Fredo was dead, and Gloria began to suspect Michael had never truly left that island.

She could only piece together what had transpired on Michael’s disastrous trip to Cuba. No coincidence that Fredo’s death occurred just after Hyman Roth’s assassination made the front page of The Daily News. The bell had tolled both for he and Rocco Lampone, one of Michael’s caporegimes who was shot by federal agents immediately after taking out the hit, according to the paper.

At the same time, Gloria struggled to wrap her head around Michael ordering his own brother’s death. Perhaps it was her own attachment to Jackie, but she couldn’t imagine a situation where she’d even consider that an option. She and Jackie didn’t talk often, but they were as close as they could be considering the circumstances.

She wouldn’t have even considered the possibility if Michael hadn’t attributed Fredo’s death to drowning when he broke the news to Gloria. Though she tried not to show it, she’d taken pause at that detail. Even after a few drinks, he was a good swimmer, often hanging out at the hotel’s pool with whichever waitress of the week had caught his attention.

Michael’s eyes widened when Gloria teared up. She’d been able to keep herself composed throughout his mother’s funeral and wake, but not knowing Carmela much at all helped that. Fredo was a better boss than other people she’d worked for in the past. She supposed she considered him a friend.

“He was always so nice, really, everyone at the hotel liked him,” she managed to mumble. “I’m so sorry, Michael. Losing your brother—I can’t even imagine.”

He reached out and caressed her cheek, her tears rolling down her face and onto his hand. He stared at her, silent for a moment. “You’re here, darling. That’s all I need.”

She took his hand from her face and kissed his palm, giving him a weak smile. His gaze was dark, dense and sprawling like the bare trees that hadn’t yet begun to bloom so early in spring. So easy to lose her way if she weren’t careful in the daytime, helplessly lost at night if she dared attempt to do so. She could see herself, so minuscule reflected in his eyes like an omen.

Finally, she broke his gaze, wiping her eyes. He gave her a hug and a soft kiss on the cheek that lent her some warmth, allowing herself to wallow in his embrace. She sniffled, rubbing her face in his shoulder without care as to the makeup and snot that she’d surely smeared on his clothes. He shifted one hand from around her back to stroke her hair, his fingers getting caught in the microscopic tangles and stray curls she struggled to keep under control. His comfort was all she’d be offered, and she accepted it as long as he’d provide it.

Minutes passed before Michael put his hands on her shoulders, telling her in a gentle voice to take a hot bath to calm her nerves, and that he’d be just outside if she needed anything. Reluctantly, Gloria nodded, though she didn’t leave her spot, even when he was outside, instead staring at her feet, her arms wrapped around herself. She didn’t know why she suddenly felt so helpless, so morose.

Michael glanced back at the house, his young fiance no longer in view. Gloria, Latin for glory. Reminded him of attending mass as a child. Supposedly echoed by choirs of heavenly hosts in the presence of the Almighty, a being so extraordinarily divine that to gaze upon His visage would cause certain death. Until the end of time and beyond that, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria en excelsis Deo. Forever and ever. He sighed. Gloria.

She’d been so deceptively earnest in asking him about Guadalcanal when they’d first met, clumsily paired by his traitorous brother. He almost couldn’t help but humor her question, and the subsequent ones that followed, betraying her knowledge of what transpired on those nightmarish islands but a desire to understand it all the same. She had thanked him for being so honest, a striking smile on her face that made him feel like it was reserved just for him.

He couldn’t afford to let his guard down, but she had made it so difficult, pretty and wild with a gleam in her eye that made him want to indulge her despite all reason. So he indulged her question about Guadalcanal, and then almost every other request she’d made, doing so while stewing in the fact that she was yet another reminder that he was merely a man, a slave to his base desires.

Coaxing her into calling him by his first name had been a bit of a challenge. In every other circumstance, he’d expect to be addressed as ‘Mr. Corleone’. Instead, he was inexplicably frustrated by her insistence on maintaining the veneer of professionalism despite his being uncharacteristically personal with her. So, he brought those damn service medals with him all the way from New York to Nevada. Hadn’t even looked at them since he returned from his exile in Sicily.

The banquet hall had been practically empty, save for a handful of other employees setting out utensils ahead of Johnny Fontaine’s dinner show that evening. ‘I’d like to show you these somewhere private, Gloria. They’re very personal to me,’ he’d said, his voice low so only she could hear.

She gave him that same striking smile when she agreed to go up to his room with him. He wasn’t a man many people said ‘no’ to, and she wasn’t a woman who said ‘no’ to many men. A morbid part of him wanted her to, just to see what would happen, test his already dwindling self-control. He could feel it slipping from between fingers when the door clicked shut, wondering how she could be so calm, alone in a room with a married man. Either she’d done so countless times before or hadn’t been expecting him to fold. Probably both.

Her fingers had brushed his World War II Victory Medal, then his Asiatic-Pacific Campaign Medal, then, while he described how he earned his Navy Cross, she finally uttered his name in a raspy lilt. Michael sounded almost foreign coming from her lips, part of this secret they were sharing—hotel rooms and service medals and first names. As soon as she pinned the Purple Heart to his lapel, her manicured hand lingering on his chest for just a moment, his ego howled for a taste of blood. Tiger, she called him, lurking in the dense jungle, fiery eyes stalking his fox-prey as she chased pleasure without a thought for him until he pounced, and, in turn, consumed her, razor-sharp maw dripping with her passion.

Hearing about her other dalliances, never from her but always in passing, made him silently seethe with a raging possession he knew he had no right to feel, but did nevertheless. She had clearly assumed that he would be a quick and casual fling like every other man she saw. He resented those men not just for their proximity to her, but at the ease with which they seemed to be able to cut things off with her. Every time he told himself a visit would be the last, he’d habitually slink back to her in the still of the night. He supposed giving in to those instincts served some purpose higher than simply giving in to desire. If he hadn’t, he would have been alone, without hope for another son.

Little else good had come from his family’s tenure in Nevada, and upon receiving confirmation from Tom of Frank Pentangeli’s suicide, had quickly come to the conclusion that they could get a chance at yet another fresh start in New York. Besides, with the newly created vacuum of power there in light of Roth’s and Pentangeli’s deaths, he needed to move in quickly to maintain control.

Gloria sat in the bathtub, watching her fingers prune beneath the foggy surface. She had run it scalding, tears streaming down her face as she allowed the hot, perfumed water to engulf her. When it had cooled enough to not be painful to the touch, she splashed some on her face. A knock at the door caught her attention.

“Gloria? It’s me.”

“Come in.”

Michael opened the door as narrowly as he could to slip inside, not wanting to chance anyone catching a glimpse of Gloria in her state of undress despite the bathroom being in the master bedroom, which few people were allowed in, anyway. He watched as she pulled her knees to her chest, looking at him expectantly. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, tie nowhere to be found as the first two buttons of his shirt were undone. He looked almost as disheveled as he did that night he appeared at her apartment.

“I decided it would be good for the family to move back to New York,” he said, sitting on the edge of the tub, his fingers grazing the top of the warm, sudsy water. “I’m going to make an offer on my childhood home tomorrow. It should close by the end of the week.”

“Long Beach, right? That’s pretty close to my parents. They’ll be glad,” she said. “Did the people who lived there say why they were selling?”

“An old associate of my father’s lived there, but he died recently. His widow put it up for sale. Doesn’t need such a big place anymore.”

“Wow, between your friend, Fredo, and your mother…it comes in threes, that’s what my dad always says.”

She knew when his thin-lipped smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, it wasn’t so simple.

“Things will be different in New York. Quieter, not as much trouble,” he said.

“So you’re leaving me here?”

He snickered, his smile more genuine as the corners of his eyes crinkled. “I said not as much.”

“I see,” she said, shifting in the tub, her bare breasts peeking from beneath the water, and she gasped as the cool air brushed her sensitive skin. She noticed his eyes on her chest. “You just here to look, or are you trying to go for a dive, tiger?” she asked, her laugh light and airy until his hand dipped beneath the water to squeeze one of her breasts.

“Something like that,” he muttered, gently tugging her nipple before doing the same to her other breast.

There they were again, those eyes like woods she’d lose herself in. This time, she did so willingly as he drew her in with his touch, his arm submerged in the bath water as he slipped his fingers between her folds, watching as she gripped the edge of the bathtub. She lifted her hips, rolling them slightly as she felt his fingers fill her.

“Michael—fuck,” she groaned when his thumb brushed her clit. “I need more.”

The sensation was odd, for all they’d done in the past, bathtubs had never been involved. Pools and showers, yes, but perhaps they’d both wordlessly come to the conclusion that something about a bath was far too intimate. She could understand why in that specific situation, something inherently erotic about him being fully clothed while she was quite the opposite, exposed and easily accessible for him.

With a curl of his fingers, a loud moan echoed through the tiled room. No one would hear her anyway. As she flexed her legs, calves burning ever so slightly, she tried digging her nails into the porcelain tub, breaking one with the force she used to grip the sides of it.

“Don’t tease me,” she growled, voice low and husky in her frustration.

Her eyes met his again, and she was something wild in that forest, a woman-beast with no regard for civility, instead venturing deeper in search of pleasure. It was how Michael had lured her in, carefully domesticating her before she could realize what he’d done. Her body jerked as she felt her orgasm building up inside her, splashing water onto the floor from her sudden movement.

His shirt sleeve had rolled down, drenched despite his efforts, but he didn’t let up, his eyes fixed on her as he felt her pussy clench around his fingers as he worked them inside her, his thumb unforgiving on her clit. Her legs shook as she came, toes curling as more water splashed out of the tub.

“Oh my god,” she moaned. “Fucking—keep going.”

Her eyes squeezed shut, and a haze overtook her mind as she rocked back and forth against his hand. So engrossed in her second orgasm wracking through her body like an earthquake, she almost forgot he was even there, instead this disembodied figure that existed only to make her cum. If only.

She shook as the aftershocks of pleasure rolled through her, eyes wild as they opened again, fixed on the man before her, so composed compared to how she’d come apart.

He pulled his arm from the water, grabbing her nearby towel and drying his hand off with it. Her knuckles were white when she released her grip on the side of the tub, chest heaving as she ran her fingers through her messy, half-dry hair.

She attempted to push herself up from the tub, and he quickly wrapped his arms around her torso, supporting her as she climbed out on unsteady legs.

“Your shirt—“

“I don’t care,” he said, wrapping the towel around her. “I’ve got others. How are you feeling?”

“Good, really good.”

He lifted her hand, inspecting her broken red-painted nail. “You sure?”

She snickered. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

As she dried herself off, he leaned against the counter, watching her. For a moment, it felt like they were in the hotel room again, no obligations or strings attached, and something inside her ached for that time. She’d always enjoyed it, but she wouldn’t have taken it for granted if she’d known what four years of it would have led up to.

She grabbed her brush from the counter, combing the knots out of her damp hair.

“Where do you want to honeymoon?” he asked suddenly.

“I don’t know,” she said, hissing softly as she painfully snagged a knot. “The Hamptons would be nice.”

“Not very exotic.”

“Well it’s not exactly about sight-seeing, is it?”

She could be a tourist any time she wanted, but when else would she have a week where having sex was not only expected, but encouraged? Even in school, she wasn’t one for museums or monuments, finding books far more engaging than the watered down information presented to them. As the likelihood of a summer wedding was rapidly increasing, the last thing she wanted was to walk around looking at ruins or statues in sweltering heat, hardly having the energy to do much else by the end of the day.

“I wouldn’t know.”

Gloria turned to him, her eyes wide. “What?”

He smiled the slightest bit at her shock. “Kay and I married in a small ceremony in New England, and then we went back to Long Island. We didn’t honeymoon.”

“But that’s the best part.”

“You’ll get your honeymoon, I promise.” He wrapped his arms around her bare torso from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. “So, the Hamptons? Beachfront, secluded–”

“Very secluded,” she emphasized as he kissed her cheek.

Her dreams that night had troubling vividity in which she couldn’t tell whether she was asleep or awake as realistic scenarios warped outlandishly. People’s faces shifted into others, desperately trying to tell her something but unintelligible nonetheless. She woke up in a cold sweat, Michael sleeping soundly beside her. Damn. It was her turn to be the insomniac.

As quietly as she could, she got out of bed, sliding her feet into her slippers and padding across the carpeted floor, hoping she wouldn’t wake him up. She slipped out the door and made her way into the living room, turning on a lamp for the slightest bit of light. Shuffling into the kitchen, she made herself a rum and coke, trying to remember something from her dreams, but came up with nothing comprehensible.

She wandered back into the living room, turning on the radio that was almost always set to the local rock n’ roll station since she’d been there. The volume of the music was low, but she could still make out the sounds of the familiar songs as she sipped her drink.

“Glo?” a small voice whispered. “I can’t sleep.”

The kids had taken to calling her that, less formal than Gloria without forcing them to call a woman they hardly knew a derivative of mom.

Anthony emerged from the dark hallway, a teddy bear tucked beneath his arm.

“Me either, kiddo,” Gloria said. “Are you hungry? I can make you a snack.”

The boy shook his head, instead walking into the living room and sitting next to her on the floor. Despite effectively moving into the house, Gloria had hardly interacted with Anthony, though that was almost exclusively his choice. She couldn’t blame him. She still thought it was too soon for her to be living there, but after Carmela’s death, Michael practically insisted.

“Do you know why everyone’s leaving? Daddy says mommy did something bad, but I think he’s lying,” he said. “He lies a lot.”

Gloria let out a shaky breath as she tried to figure how to answer such a loaded question. “He doesn’t tell me much, but I don’t–your mother isn’t a bad person, Anthony. She was just very sad.”

“Was uncle Fredo sad, too?”

“I think so. When you become an adult, you’re not supposed to talk about things like that, and some people have a harder time with it than others,” she explained. “They feel very alone, and they do things they might not normally do because they don’t know how else to ask for help.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No, it isn’t. I don’t think things should be that way.”

Gloria knew what Kay did, and though she wasn’t sure if she herself could go through with having an abortion, she certainly wouldn’t condemn a woman’s desperation. Still, she wondered what Fredo had done to be iced out by Michael. She felt almost guilty for considering Michael had something to do with his brother’s death, fratricide was certainly no weightless accusation. Then again, even if she confronted him with it, would he tell her the truth?

For four years, she had to face the horrifying reality of nearly losing her own brother. She wondered about the worry Michael’s family felt when he was fighting overseas. From what she understood, they hadn’t been very supportive of him joining the Marines in the first place. He had told her that the only person who congratulated him was Fredo, and the only people who regularly sent him letters were his brother, his mother, and Kay, all no longer in his life in some way.

“I’m going back to sleep now,” Anthony said.

She nodded. “Good night.”

He disappeared back down the hallway.

When she heard a door close, she threw back the rest of her rum and coke before making herself another. Some teeny-bopper’s twangy voice faintly played out over the radio, singing his song about heartbreak. The station always played the moodier songs at night, giving way to the teenagers who sounded like lovesick ghosts that haunted the airwaves. “I’m crying,” they’d wail. “My baby left me.” Few said it better than Elvis, “You’ll feel so lonesome, you could die.”

The song shifted to Ricky Nelson’s ‘Lonesome Town’. Despite his talent, she always found it funny, the California boy putting on an accent to sell records. But people put on acts all the time, different masks depending on the scene. She thought back to earlier in the bathroom, and wondered if Michael’s sudden display of intimacy was calculated on his part. His question about the honeymoon had certainly taken her by surprise, enough so that for a few hours, she didn’t think much about the implications of his brother’s death or try to talk to him about it again.

She squeezed the glass in her hand, enraged at the thought of him playing with her emotions while she was in such a vulnerable state, but more than that, angry at herself for falling for it.

#the godfather #michael corleone #michael corleone x oc #the godfather fanfic #michael corleone fanfic #michael corleone imagine #the godfather part ii #the godfather imagine #michael corleone x ofc #bruised fruit fic

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rataticaisdreaming · 1 year ago

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thanks to @rambling-prince-thoughts i'm now willing to share a full analysis on remus (the whole gang is here!). i wish my own personal headcanons and things i've found in canon can help people understand how complex remus actually is.

cw for religious commentary, bible quotes and remus being remus.

disclaimer: i'm catholic. this is not, in any way, meant to impose my religion. remus holds way too many references to the bible for me to not mention it. if this isn't for you, it's 100% okay to turn away from this post. don't leave hate when you can just ignore it. the reason behind saying i'm catholic is to show famders they can have faith and still kin remus the way i do! there's nothing to feel guilty about, intrusive thoughts just make you human 💚

so to quote our favorite trash rat: "let's start from the beginning!"

this will follow the story of cain and abel from genesis 4, which remus mentions in dwit. i'll color code who represents who according to both canon (the twins) and personal headcanon (c! thomas):

cain - remus / abel - roman / god - c! thomas

in 4 genesis 4:4-5 we see that one day, after working hard on their respective jobs, cain and abel present their creations to god. he looks proud at abel's work, but he doesn't with cain's. this makes cain angry. let me remind you green is the color of envy. we know thomas favored roman over remus' creativity during dwit, we see remus get upset over everyone constantly thinking of his work as useless or unwanted.

later, in 4 genesis 4:6-7, god questions cain's anger and tells him that only if he does the right thing, he will be accepted. if he doesn't, sin will try to consume him and cain needs to rule over it. i love the choice of words here: right thing, accepted and rule. everyone was shutting remus up, telling him how awful he was and how bad the things he said were. if only remus could be more like his brother, then maybe he could be accepted.

i have a whole headcanon on the "rule over it" part. i think remus just went insane. you see, during the split, remus got all the "bad" parts of creativity. not only that, but just like roman got thomas' ego, remus got the intrusive thoughts. the way virgil has his own anxiety. i'm convinced remus has his own intrusive thoughts.

at one point, the intrusive thoughts became so loud, he had no other option but to embrace them. in the genesis, god wants cain to resist against sin. remus in this case didn't resist, he took control over his thoughts instead of letting them consume him. he clearly knows what having intrusive thoughts feels like and that hurt him and scarred him real bad. he is okay now with being called demented, he ruled over the intrusive thoughts.

you can see there are moments where remus seems uncomfortable when they talk about intrusive thoughts. his role is creativity, but he is cursed with intrusive thoughts. talking from personal experience, i can see his distress. the screams, loud laughs and stimming. all in an attempt to shut up those thoughts, but sometimes they become too much and they have to get out. the worst part is that you blurt out horrible things like cannibalism and murder. people around you don't understand and they think you mean it. virgil was very right and very wrong when he asked: "but are they opinions that matter?"

yes, the intrusive thought itself doesn't matter. but it's not okay to imply remus' words and opinions don't matter just because he blurts out these things. he matters as much as roman, his brother deals with being the ego and pride. remus has his own issues too that should not be ignored or ruled out as "not important".

immediately after that, in 4 genesis 4:8-12, cain kills abel. god condemns cain to a life where his work will never bear fruit and he will be a restless wanderer. in the "5 years later" video, remus says: "did you know how bored i was before you decided to confront me? all i did was walk around and look for stuff in your head to fuck with!". which implies remus was free to wander around the mindscape, but couldn't be listened to by thomas until he wanted to. which happens in dwit since the thoughts became too much to ignore.

here's something really cool. in 4 genesis 4:14-15. cain says to god: "from your face i shall be hidden. i shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me." god replies: “not so! if anyone kills cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold.” which in the context of what we saw in dwit, means that remus was okay to stay in the dark, but anyone who dares to go against the duke's work will suffer the consequences. we know this because the more the others tried to force him out, the more powerful he became.

(there seems to be an islamic interpretation which says that the devil whispered to cain: "hit abel's head with a stone and kill him", which i found very interesting considering roman took a morning star to the head and the whisper in thomas' head. but i know nothing about it, so i can't confirm it's true.)

i don't believe in patton or janus keeping him locked away, because c! thomas has more power than people give him credit for. remus explicitly says thomas made him the way he is, logan points out it was him who decided to split creativity: "at a young age, you filed away products of your imagination as either welcome or forbidden." it is during clbg that roman says to thomas: "you have to give us permission first..." and virgil says "you are the boss, thomas. any information you want to know, you can know. you just have to be open to hearing it."

imo, thomas doesn't know anything about himself and the things he can do. the sides are there to guide him, but i don't think any side has the power to keep something hidden from thomas if thomas himself wants to learn. the reason the sides were able to out janus was because thomas gave his permission, but in dwit the sides didn't want remus to show himself. it was thomas who allowed him in.

let's go re-watch dwit for the fifth time this week:

when he sings: “and since you haven’t puked yet, we'll know they're wrong when they call you sick.” i think it's a nice metaphor to say from the very start that “since you haven’t acted on these thoughts, they'll see there's nothing wrong with you”. he also sings about people not liking him, which makes me wonder about past experiences he had with the sides. he can also be talking about how a lot of people dislike intrusive thoughts and dark creativity.

“good and bad is all made-up nonsense!” makes sense even for me! i don't believe in heaven or hell as physical places, but rather states of self when we are alive. when you're a good person to yourself and others, you can be at peace, but you'll have a harder time if you're bad. good and bad are not extremes, they are a gray mix. just because something is seen as good or bad doesn't mean it is in some cases. intrusive thoughts are seen as bad, but they can be fun! maybe you got a meme pop into your head and started laughing? or how about being in a conversation and an intrusive thought finishes the other person's sentence and you can't keep a straight face because of how stupid it sounds?

the tree of good and evil from the genesis (also known as the tree of knowledge/tree of life) is known for the belief that indulging in pleasure is immoral, but that belief often comes from people who are not religious. good and evil actually represent “the everything”, adam and eve gained knowledge instead of just pleasure. the knowledge to see what's right and wrong, a moral compass and tons of wisdom. for example, without the fruit they would never be able to punish criminals. this tree also represents the mixture of good and evil that creates mortality. janus offering a morsel (fruit) from the tree to thomas or any side means: do not put good and evil into separate boxes, embrace your humanity, what makes you human and your life will be easier.

janus representing the snake is actually genius because he is deceit and no one will trust deceit, but janus represents someone who wants to show the truth. so to make him the lord of the lies is truly evil, mr. sanders. remus represents the truth, but he is also given an evil role. they both are there to give thomas the fruit that will allow him to be more honest and direct dealing with his issues, so that he no longer deceives himself about the ugliness within him. in that scene, while janus seems to be talking to remus, remus sings janus' part. to me that can be interpreted as: janus and i had a talk and here's how we help thomas.

remus talks about how every mortal sins and dies at some point, but they try to deny it and ignore it. remus saying he will still be there even if thomas is alone can represent how no matter how much we isolate ourselves from sin, it will always be there as part of the human psyche. might as well accept that fact now.

remus asks him: "why do you want to stifle your own creativity?" which can perfectly mean: "why are you denying and ignoring a part of yourself that can be good?" dark creativity can be amazing! take a look at your favorite horror films and games, tragic novels and dramas. they all use a perfect combination of remus and roman's creativity. without one of them, we would never have these things.

laughing at your own intrusive thoughts can be a sign of you hating those thoughts, but being so used to them you don't care anymore. remus obviously knows what it's like to hate them and try and force them out, lot of good that did him! he realized repression is horrible. you don't need to act on these thoughts, you can get them out by writing them down in a journal or saying them out loud in private. trust me, it feels way better than keeping them inside.

i really like remus recognizing he is not scary, but instead, people are scared of him. if anyone needs to hear this: you're not a freak or a monster for having intrusive thoughts or any dark interest, or both! remus is just trying to be himself and deal with a very human thing a lot of us can relate to. thats why he makes me feel like i'm not alone in this <3

i think remus threatening logan to shut up is because he thought logan would attempt to convince thomas to repress his thoughts the same way patton did. i really like that logan continues to teach amazing lessons on intrusive thoughts, why the duke is important and we can see remus listening to him without interrupting. until the last part where he is just a brat.

just remus saying there is no rhyme or reason to what he does is enough for people to remember intrusive thoughts are mostly meaningless, like virgil said. they just happen. don't take them too seriously or think too deeply about them.

i want to point out that remus becomes distressed when logan says his contributions are intrusive thoughts instead of a different creativity. like… remus just couldn’t convince anyone, not even logan, of his job. no wonder he acts like a brat in wtit. the one side who was closest to understanding him, ended up being just like the rest of them. stubborn and repressing his own feelings, that seems to be a recurring theme with our boys.

remus is able to be gentle, we can see that when he listens to virgil at the end of dwit. that genuine smile and eye contact (which he avoids for most of the episode), the calm chuckles compared to the loud laughter from before and sweet tone of his voice… it's clear that whatever happened between virgil and the dark sides, remus doesn't think ill of him. i could almost believe he misses him. i think that whatever happened, it was between virgil and janus. remus had nothing to do with it and virgil knows that. in the "happy fifth anniversary" celebration, virgil looks amused at remus. i think he misses him too.

in wtit, i absolutely adore how remus uses real traps for thomas to represent how intrusive thoughts can trap you in an endless loop of hurting. i love that he can just give thomas the thoughts without any effort, but he uses his creativity to have fun with his other job and be extra dramatic. the fact he can attack other sides, summon beings like real people or monsters AND control them, that makes me wonder how powerful he truly is. it can be a unique aspect of the twins and i would love to see more of that in future videos.

remus is not scary. i've seen scary people and remus is not it (it's what he represents that scares others). he is silly and playful, extra and dare i say, more dramatic than roman. there's a lot of curiosity from him that i believe comes from his constant intrusive thoughts, he also seems to be knowledgeable in specific topics. he is very genuine in the way he expresses himself, not really hiding anything. he is so unique and eager to spend time with the sides.

he also acts in a way that reminds me of how loneliness can affect someone when they finally interact with others. his poor ability to read the room and how others feel, the little control he has over how loud his voice can get, the constant need for attention. all signs of being neurodivergent spending a long time by himself.

remus tries to teach a lesson to logan about how he can't do everything by himself. sadly, remus is the only side around for some reason (i guess the others had a ddr tournament) and logan refuses to acknowledge remus as a potential helper. instead, he keeps seeing him as an antagonist in thomas’ day, which he is. i think remus could potentially be against thomas after being denied acceptance by the others. that's why i would love to see remus become orange’s ally in his way to create chaos. in dwit he does say he wants to wreak havoc. the dance scene can be seen as another battle between sides, logan winning because logic can be a powerful tool against the irrationality of intrusive thoughts. but since it's logan who is being affected by orange’s influence, i wonder what that will do to logan’s power over remus.

remus tried to be accepted before and he was refused the opportunity, he tried a last time in dwit and failed once again. i think he is fed up at this point, that's why he feels like such a threat in wtit. he doesn't seem to care that he is creativity anymore, instead leaning more into his role as intrusive thoughts and using his creative power to make those stronger. he looks PISSED when logan tries to talk to him at the end of wtit. he clearly doesn't trust him nor believes logan is being honest.

remus says “you're going to pretend that i don't exist, so i'll pretend you don't exist.” and logan goes about how everyone has their own role, but still cannot see remus as creativity and remus is just so mad at him and the others for that. the sides think they're acknowledging remus by accepting him as intrusive thoughts, when in reality, they're denying his main role. it's the same thing that happened with virgil, in denying virgil as helpful and thinking he was only anxiety (which is perceived as a bad thing), they saw the effects of no anxiety at all and how much virgil protected thomas.

i really like remus getting interested in logan when orange shows himself. i see it as remus finally seeing a flawed logan, which can allow sympathy since remus is extremely flawed. logan showed him he is repressing something and who is remus but an advocate against repression?

roman and remus’ relationship is extremely interesting, putting all the cain and abel parallels aside, i think they love each other the way siblings do. they banter and annoy each other to no end. roman says he doesn't like him at the end of dwit, but it's so obvious he is in denial. he doesn't want to admit someone like remus is his twin and that he is fond of him despite his weirdness. i want remus to close roman’s arc, i want remus to help roman understand that it's okay to not be perfect and still be a good creativity. if anyone can help roman feel less insecure about himself, it's his twin.

roman says remus shows him everything he doesn't want to be. remus is flawed and happy to be seen as such. roman struggles so much to keep up the mask of perfection and when he sees how happy his brother is being flawed, he hates it. the little things that make roman insecure, remus embraces them and roman can learn so much from him. they likely share a room, they spend time together or at least, remus whispers into his ear waaay too much. if you go back to episodes before dwit, you'll see how defensive roman gets over things he said that others disapproved off, clearly being influenced by his twin. i think the realization roman talks about it's not only remus being the one to influence him, but also that remus represents more than he thought he did.

i think we can all agree with roman that sometimes we see ourselves in the mirror and we see the parts that makes us flawed, we hate them and want to turn away from them instead of accepting them. remus makes people uncomfortable because the truth is, most of us see something in him that we try to deny. be it the intrusive thoughts, the dark creativity… or something as simple as having an annoying laugh. we will always be able to love ourselves and quicky find something that we hate. not because it hurts us, but sometimes… because others have hurt us for being this way. i'm autistic and i know how harsh the world can be to people who are different, but remus made me feel seen. he made me feel valid for being me! he always makes me laugh and most importantly, he makes me feel safe <3

the most beautiful thing about remus is how freely he is himself. people will try to stop you from being who you are at heart, they will call you a freak and try to shut you down. if you take one thing from remus (even if you don't like him or sympathize with him) is that true happiness can be found in allowing yourself to be who you are. without a care in the world, because the only person who can judge you is yourself. no one else. you know yourself better than anyone else, so be happy and go feral if you want. as long as you're living true to yourself and staying safe 💛

go ahead and eat that second cookie, you earned it 🍪✨ if you don't like cookies, go grab something you enjoy. reward yourself for staying strong against this mess we call world. thank you for reading! i hope you have a wonderful day/night ⛅

#rataticaisdreaming #i think about him a lot okay?#we are trash rats wanting to be understood #shout out to all the fanfic writers who write remus as a complex character #you're my heroes!#sanders sides #remus sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #religious commentary #religion

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