#me vs inner me

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

me: what if. what if i held hims hand,,

inner me: He wouldn't want to hold your hand. He'd hate you. You would get on his nerves so fucking much. You're annoying as fuck, he would hate being near you anymore than is absolutely necessary. If he knew you were drawing, or even THINKING about him holding your hand, he would be disgusted with you. You're the worst. Shut the fuck up.

me: ah. right

[s0fter-sin]

one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules

the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)

almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)

they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning

(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)

even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)

so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim

it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character

the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring

we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)

it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other

sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother

[inksandpensblog]

Betrayal of Memory

“I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you got him to fight for you.”

He had no retort. He’d been trying not to think about that, honestly, but he couldn’t brush it off in the name of urgency forever. The fact stood that he’d recruited the very stick who had taken the life of his only friend, and—

“And he tried to tell you, even. Heh. He actually knew. He knew he couldn’t. But you didn’t care. Did you? You stayed to watch, I’ll grant you that, but if you actually—”

Wait, what?

“How could you do that?”

…did Dark care about…surely not, Second had killed him, what cause did he have to care—

“How could you do that to me?! How could you hide behind someone who doesn’t understand what they’re up against? How could you send someone else out, alone, to fight your battles for you? How could you throw him into an impossible fight on your behalf!?”

…oh.

“How low have you fallen? At least I had the decency to hide behind my own two arms!”

[knichii]

OK. does anyone else feel irritated that eng dub seems to be favoured in mha? in edits, in fics, it's clear most people watched dub and idk it's been rlly grinding my gears.

okay, to get this out the way, I don't like mha's eng dub. I don't like any of them. half don't fit their characters, 75% of the time the tone lands forced and awkward, and its literally just unbearable for me to watch I'm sorry. I have this issue with a lot of anime and cartoons so this isn't solely a my hero problem, but this is definitely the most severely I've disliked a dub. and yet I cannot escape it.

one of my biggest issues is the nuance that's lost in translation. anyone with any familiarity with the Japanese language will know what I mean. list of examples:

HONORIFICS

1. iida refers to class 1-A with '-kun'

2. yaoyorozu refers to class 1-A with '-san'

3. asui refers to class 1-A with '-chan'

3. deku with '-kun' (m) & '-san' (f)

that says SO MUCH about their characters, how they view their relationships, how they view themselves,, but in dub?? all of that's lost. ESP the significance of deku still calling bkg 'kacchan'. [simplified, '-chan' is used for cute/endearing things. it stemmed from children mispronouncing '-san', and became a childish, cutesy way of calling someone, usually someone you're VERY familiar with. it implies a shocking ammount of intimacy] thru years of bullying, all the rocks and straight up non existent road of their relationship, deku STILL calls him 'kacchan', the ONLY one allowed to do so ("but kaminari--" NEENAWNEENAWNEENAW).

in eng dub it gets reduced to a mere nickname, lacking all of its weight.

another thing is bakugou sub vs dub (...)

URGGGGGGHHHH

the most recent example is when bkg says "of course you pulled it off, Icyhot." (I forgot the context tho) in sub, he says "of course you pulled it off, TODOROKI".

THATS SUCH A NICHE, SUBTLE WAY OF SHOWING HIS DEVELOPMENT THATS TOSSED STRAIGHT OUT THE WINDOW. translation (manga) also has him calling his seniors 'senpai' which is... not what he says in sub????? 'senpai' indicates respect for someone your senior,,,, which. bkg would never show. (or only in EXTREMELY rare cases, MAYBE)

there's also my peeve abt names. this may be an only me issue, but I don't like it when japanese names are written in western format (e.g Izuku Midoriya)... ("this guy cannot be fr rn" unfortunately yes I am). I don't have a reason for this, and I'm aware it's niche and irrational, but I always cringe a little when I'm reading a fic, that's SET IN JAPAN, and their names are written Given Name, Family Name. emphasis on SET IN JAPAN. THEY ARE JAPANESE. THEY ARE NOT AMERICAN.

bkg's hero name. his og one which was translated to King Explosion Murder, losing all of the wit and cleverness in the jp original. this post goes into more detail and is very cool check it out

slightly irrelevant but bkg's jp va, Okamoto Nobuhiko, like. wow. the bkdk fight? the voice cracks? the ANGUISH?? the softness in his voice when bkg was abt to die (the hallucination w all might) ??? like,, wow. the emotion is so much more raw than it's conveyed in eng

I've gotten off point. point is I WISH MORE PEOPLE APPRECIATED AND WATCHED IN JP SUB. IM SCREAMING INTO THE VOID AND MY OWN VOICE IS ECHOING BACK I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE.

(note: jjk was my first anime fandom so I'm probably spoiled. over there, sub seems to be favoured, barring a few iconic lines [ray chase lwk served as sukuna in the shibuya arc] and the fics, like 70% of the ones I read, used japanese honorifics and culture. in comparison, mha was a bit of a shock. the side of the fandom I washed up on is so... American??? maybe I'm in the wrong place idk. everything's just extremely white and slightly uncomfortable.)

this was a bit of a vent post,, obviously ik people are entitled to opinions (even if they're wrong), I js wanted tk if anyone else felt the same way

reading this back, I'm aware of how chronically online I am. yeah. still tho

[aliusfrater]

almost all s8 opinions regarding sam make me want to tear my hair out but what do you make of the takes that we can't really blame sam for s8, mainly not looking for dean/quitting hunting because it was "out of character"?

not just the you know who shippers who say this either btw I've seen so-called sam stans say the same

the evidence to this claim always seems to be that jared supposedly didn't like it either (which may very well be true idk the source) but I have to wonder if jared only said that or something similar because fan reactions to s8 sam began affecting him too

quite simply, i just don't agree with or enjoy interpretations that genuinely and earnestly refer to it as sam 'not looking for dean' in any context that's intended to be from sam's point of view because that's very much what dean considers it to be because he knows that he wasn't dead in the soul-had-left-his-body sense and he considers sam's adherence to his own perceived death as abandonment which is the major culprit of his own, sam's as well as the narrative's perpetuation of the idea that sam 'didn't look for him'. like this exact idea from sam's own pov is touched on in the first episode of season eight when sam is at his most confident in his independence away from his and dean's relationship:

then based on bobby's reaction to sam's own recount of dean's death to bobby in 8.19, it does seem evident to me that sam neglects to retell his own pov and he tells bobby that dean was in the same purgatory they were currently in, which is why bobby reacts with disbelief (because if you knew where he was, why didn't you attempt to save him?) and why sam's response is to bring up the previous 'agreement' he and dean had about death.

i have my own qualms about bobby's disillusionment re: the agreement as a 'non-agreement' and that he 'taught [sam] that' based on the actual events of 6.01 and the fact that bobby does indeed leave dean out of hunting at sam's will and the only plausible point at which it could have become a non-agreement is during the 6.11 and 6.12 conflict that is regaining sam's soul (without sam's consent, twice fold, but i consider soulless!sam to be more of a direct victim of being resouled than i do sam because of his active agency against it. sam's agency was preceded in his dying wishes and are therefore passive). bobby's reaction does, however, add to the already narratively skewed perspective of sam's decision where there is already that prioritisation of dean's 'didn't look for me' on account of the fact that bobby's own role as patriarch does narratively match dean's, along with bobby's position as a character who is narratively third to sam and dean's relationship (which then then bleeds into both sam's and the fandom's own interpretation of it, i think; sam also begins to doubt his decisions more which is also related to how the trials turn into his own suicidal ideation).

the conflict regarding which brother takes on the trials is very much foundational within sam's own view of a light at the end of the tunnel and his desire to leave the life and dean, at multiple points, within conversation about why he should be the one to do the trials, reiterates sam's own desire for normalcy away from hunting, within what dean himself desires for sam's life, which bring us back to the root of the issue that is dean's fear of abandonment (8.03, 8.14).

sam's own desire or attempt to leave the life seems to be fundamentally Wrong or is at least disproved of until dean approves of it/whenever it's part of dean's ideal for sam. 8.01, "so… free will, that's only for you?" the greatest sin is to disobey your patriarch; i think the culprit here re: sam's own person, just like it was with season four and the beginnings of soulless!sam, seems to be sam's rejection of the dynamics of his and dean's codependency in favour of his own attempt at independence. there's also the idea that dean would rather complete the trials that have a possibility of death than have sam go through the trials, die, then 'leave' dean to face the idea of living a life without sam—and he attempts to make this decision by on his own, without sam's input.

generally, i don't believe sam needs any excuse(s) to live a life outside of dean but the narrative's own facilitation of sam back into the non-role (the struggle to fit into the role) of his and dean's relationship, the dichotomy of monstrosity, the cycle of abuse, the patriarchal structure etc. etc. after his attempts at independence are endlessly interesting to me and although this isn't yelled at you through explicit exploration, i do consider aspects of sam's history with mental health to be relevant within several aspects of season eight, but mostly being related to sam's decision to leave hunting specifically within the context of the year between seasons seven and eight (especially after all that is seasons three to seven) as it's explored in 8.08. ultimately though, i think the major aspects of sam's decision to leave revolve around 1) grief and sam's avoidance of his grief, which is pretty well represented by his initial reluctance to name riot and explored through sam and amelia as mirroring characters (how blatant it is pisses me off a little),

and 2) the very basic building block regarding sam as a character that is his desire to leave the life. quite generally, i think the fact that through dean's own conflation of family and hunting (on account of john's own pov that through choosing college over hunting, sam had also chosen college over family) as well as dean's own pov prioritised through his and sam's relationship along with the previously mentioned structures, the idea that sam, too, is therefore unable to leave the life or subvert any of these structures without it being perceived as leaving dean or forsaking family is pretty neglected within a lot of interpretations of sam as a character. i think dean very much keeps sam tethered to the life either through sam's own ability to choose dean and their conflated lifestyle over something/someone else (later season one, season two, three, later nine to fifteen) (there's also the guilt tripping) or as a result of being preoccupied in a way that inhibits his idea of normalcy (his monstrosity in seasons four and five), but on account of the dynamics and his and dean's relationship, sam is unable to reject their codependency which perpetuates hunting and SamAndDean as existing synonymously. i mean, even when sam was hunting without dean as soulless!sam, on account of the agency and autonomy sam was able to achieve due to the differences between s!sam and sam's priorities due to the difference between then (the soul lol), s!sam's rejection of his and dean's relationship did become evidence for his monstrosity. which is, of course, punishable by (possible) death should dean decide that the dichotomy will not stretch to accommodate said monstrosity.

season eight, to me, is when these characters first start feeling a bit like cardboard, especially due to how wittled down to its core sam and dean's dynamic is represented. this is the most boring and basic version of How They Work at this point in the show and even then people explain their simple and cardboard-ish behaviours away with explanations like saying they're 'ooc'. sam's state of mind is pretty straight forward if you know where to look; sam taking his entire family's death as his sign that he's able to leave the life is not out of character to me at all. kill the supernatural appointed patriarch in your head.

[ochrearia]

A Nice Start

Oh no, Ochre's own emotions and thoughts, leaking into another RGBFverse one shot via how YS thinks and acts? Not a single fucking person is surprised

I don't know how Bash works I've probably derailed off at the end there but. I'm sleepy

BFs in this one-shot: Mixtape!BF (Bash, Kry's), Yourself (YS)

YS hadn’t felt this nervous around another self of his since getting off on the wrong foot with Boyf. In his defense, being nervous around him had been justified, YS wasn’t good at being around people as it was, much less people who actively disliked him. He was glad that Boyf didn’t seem to hate him anymore. Every once and a while he’d remember the original hostility and then tank his mood because of it. Despite it being in the past, it didn’t seem like time would make it hurt any less.

But that wasn’t the case here. Bash hadn’t even started out hating or disliking him. Actually, their first meeting was… strange. Bash had mistaken him for, someone else? Not really sure. He hadn’t yelled, or looked at him like he was disgusting, no, he’d offered comfort almost immediately. Comfort for something that didn’t happen, but supposedly was important enough to try and account for.

Bash seemed like a shy kind of guy just on the surface. Which somehow made it even more nerve-wracking, because shy people were usually the sweetest people on Earth, and it was terrifying to fuck up an impression with those kinds of people. And for once, YS wasn’t actually the oldest here.

So that whole ‘big brother’ shit? Definitely wasn’t going to work here.

Or at least that was probably that case. That wasn’t going to stop YS from trying. He was good at being a big brother figure, he thinks, everyone else seemed to be satisfied with his role. There had already been a few cases of selves that surprised him by wanting to take on a role of caring for him before he could even insist on being the one who cared. Bash was one of those, and coupled with the advantage of age, he wasn’t budging on this.

Two immovable objects. More like two stubborn idiot morons who refused to back down on stupid insistences.

“Hey man.” Bash’s voice was gentle, snapping YS from his thoughts. “Don’t think too hard, you might pull a muscle.”

“Pull a muscle… in my brain.” YS raised an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean.” Bash chuckled, though embarrassed.

So many nerves were flying around in this room. This was hell. So many selves by now and YS was still just as shit at beginnings compared to how he was with Biff of all people. Suppose some things never changed. Maybe he simply wasn’t used to this- a self that didn’t hate him, didn’t scream at him to go away. Wasn’t automatically disgusted by him.

Maybe that made it even more stressing to think that he could fuck it up by accident and make a self who was fine with him become disgusted by him. So many risks. YS felt like he might’ve pushed himself waaaaay over the edge. Why the hell did he keep doing this?

“You actually are thinking too hard now. I can see it on your face.” Bash spoke again, concern clearly laced his tone now. “You alright? Do you… want to talk about it?”

Something about that just… set him off.

“...Why?” The question tumbled from YS’s lips before he could even think to stop it. “Why do you… care? We’ve only really just met, why do you already care so much about my well-being? Why do any of you?”

Bash sighed, giving him a pity smile. “Why not?”

God dammit. What the hell was with this guy? How the fuck was YS supposed to get anywhere with this when the smallest sentences out of him could knock the breath from his chest so easily? He was supposed to be the one to help everyone else have those types of realizations. He was supposed to be the helper, not the one being helped.

“I- don’t understand.” YS admitted, against his better judgment. “I don’t understand, I can’t understand. I don’t get it. I wouldn’t even be upset if you or the other recent ones didn’t give a shit, that’s probably the reaction you should be having. And everyone else, It’s been months but I still don’t understand why they’d care about me.”

He was going to cause himself a goddamn migraine. He did that a lot. Stressed and depressed, not eating, not drinking anything actually helpful considering his stupid soda addiction. YS was prone to them of his own accord. The consequences of his actions. He was going to stress himself into another one in the coming minutes, he was sure of it. Then his poor guest would have to deal with his irritability.

Bash, though, kept regarding him silently. The small smile had dropped, but the pity was still there. Maybe not pity. Sympathy? Something else mixed in, unfamiliar. But there was also hesitation in his eyes that YS could see. God, what was he doing? Bash was new. He shouldn’t be letting loose these things with someone he’d basically just met. Didn’t matter that they were the same person. YS was better than this.

“I… can’t really say I know how to help you.” Bash said eventually, nerves well present in his tone. “I’m not really good with comforting other people. Maybe if we were closer, I could make an attempt, but I- I don’t know what you’d want or need. We haven’t really spoken at all.”

YS’s shoulders sagged, and he hated that they did. Of course that would be his answer, why was he saddened by that? Was it because they weren’t close? Was it that fact being pointed out that bothered him? Or was it that someone really just didn’t know how to help him? What a hypocrite he was if the last one was the case, no one was a fucking mind reader and he shouldn’t expect anyone to be. Maybe he was simply disappointed in himself for putting Bash in this horribly awkward situation, just because he decided to open his big, stupid mouth.

“But- hey, that’s not to say that I don’t want to get to talk to you more.” Bash continued, but YS could hear the creeping panic in his voice. He was just backpedaling because of his reaction. Dammit. “I’m not used to all this, uh, multiverse stuff. Other selves, and how I’m basically late to the party. Everyone’s already gone off in their own groups or connections, and I’m over here, the new guy, and I don’t know where to begin. You included.”

Yeah. All this multiverse stuff that he had started. Because he’d lost himself in his own grief and broke the rules of reality in some delusional attempt to get his girlfriend back. Fucking sucker-punching Biff across a room and subjecting him to a long song for nothing. Dragging even more of them into this weird, fucked up brotherly family because he couldn’t bear to be alone with his own failures or he’d do something really stupid and permanent. All of this, without even bothering to consider the feelings of everyone else that would come from this nonsense.

“It’s okay.” YS cut in before Bash could panic anymore. “You’re not responsible for me. And you’re not a mind reader. I can’t be sharing things like that so quickly when we haven’t even had like, a normal conversation first. That’s like starting a conversation with ‘hey, your house burnt down’ instead of a ‘hello’. Don’t worry about it. That just slipped out, I guess. Forget about it.”

YS turned away, going back to his tense, awkward brooding while he rubbed his thumb against the side of his hand- a nervous tic that had been getting worse lately. If he kept doing it for too long he might actually irritate the skin there. But it was better than some of the other things he could be doing, he supposed. Now what? He’d shut down the only open conversation and now the silence was suffocating. But what else was he supposed to do now? He’d already ruined it.

He could feel Bash’s eyes on him. He didn’t want to look. This was such a mistake, especially with the migraine he knew was coming in a few minutes. YS was out of his depth, and he knew it, even though he was attached to this guy he barely even knew him. That was stupid. This was all stupid and he was dumb.

“Hey.” Bash called after a while, extending a hand out to lay on YS’s shoulder.

YS didn’t mean to tense up, but he did. He didn’t mean to, because it wasn’t like he didn’t appreciate the contact- He did, he really liked contact actually. The brothers he’d victimized the most could attest to that. But it was more that he didn’t expect it, and he was already so wound up by his own stupid brain. Startled, yeah. Let’s go with startled. But that tension was also just going to make things worse, so… “Sorry.”

“Listen, man. I haven’t really talked to many of the others. Brooke and Beef, really. And, Bee, I think? But him not as much. I’m not sure about Brooke’s feelings about you, because he never talks about it. Seems like he pretends that this multiverse stuff isn’t real aside from the ones he chooses to hang out with. But Beef talks about you a lot. And he really cares about you. I think you’ve done a lot for him. Anyone who is kind like that is good in my book.” Bash continued.

YS kept his posture slouched, but he took a quick peek at Bash. He had a smile back on his face, and the angel knew he was just trying to make things less awkward by slightly changing the subject. Taking up responsibility when YS had said, knew, that he shouldn’t have to.

“We haven’t interacted much at all. And you look like you’re genuinely going to explode if you have to be around me any longer, so I can just leave you with this. I don’t mind the idea of changing our minimal interactions. I’m bad at starting that, though. And I would feel bad leaving it all to you. Maybe today just isn’t the day we can get off on the right start, yeah?” Bash paused, getting up. “I’ll see you around. We can try again some other time.”

He thinks you can’t even stand being around him. He thinks he’s being a source of pain for you. He thinks you’re rejecting him, look at that, the very thing you’d been experiencing from some of the others and hated so much, now you’re becoming a monster and doing the same thing. Can’t you just get anything fucking right?

“Wait, I-” YS caught his arm before he walked off to the mirror, but hesitated. Lowered his voice in guilt, and looked away. “I’m sorry. I’m not good at this either. Making new connections. Never have. I don’t know how to start conversations or… make friendships. And especially now, with a migraine coming on, I’m even worse at it, and… Sorry.”

Pathetic, really. But it was the best he could muster now. His head was starting to split in a familiar pain.

Bash let out a small sigh, but shook his head. “It’s fine, man. Don’t worry about it. We can try again some other day. I’ll go now, I hope your migraine doesn’t last too long.”

YS watched him go, and then he was alone again. His thumb moved again, with a mind of its own, rubbing against the side of his hand. Nervous. Regretful, guilty even. What a disaster of an attempt that was. Probably one of his worst ones, really, but somehow it didn’t end in a complete dumpster fire. So…

A nice start, YS guessed. He just wished it could’ve been a better one.

[cherriebbyyyy]

Just a quick carcar head cannon a/b/o I have that I don’t have the time to fully flesh out atm but want to get my notes down in case I ever do

But it’s a confused baby alpha Ollie Bearman having a crush on omega Carlos Sainz because he’s so nice to Ollie and he smells good. Then he has also invited Ollie out to lunch and biking and while he may be young he is viable to be Carlos’ mate what he doesn’t know is that Carlos is in a lowkey relationship w/ stoic Beta Oscar Piastri. So when Ollie asks around to make sure Carlos doesn’t have an Alpha everyone is like no, and does his diligence to check that there’s no secret alpha (Charles because Ferrari Marketing gets him he’s seen the track previews and how they act v flirty). He thinks it’s the best time to like start the courting process and Carlos thinks he’s being sweet. Ollie gets him little things like energy gel for the biking tails, holding the door open, and trying to pick up the bill for lunches that Carlos doesn’t allow because he defo has more money than him.

Oscar doesn’t know this is going on until they’re having a double date w/ Charles and his gf where Charles being the gossip that he is let’s it slip like ‘oh you have competition and it’s my other son how funny’ both Carlos and Oscar is like ‘wdym’ and he drops that Ollie was asking about him and Charles’ was like I didn’t tell him about you two because you are ‘how do you say lowkey and he asked if you have an alpha, and you don’t’

Oscar hearing this starts to get a little mad because while he hadn’t voiced it out loud yet he was jealous that they were hanging out so much. Oscar was almost tempted to start biking as well but he had already picked up paddle and couldn’t add another sport.

Carlos just laughs it off and doesn’t believe that Ollie is trying to court him until one race he gets back to his drivers room and finds a scented little bear. Then he knows he has to put his foot down to let him down easy.

[imminent-danger-came]

(YOUTUBE LINK)

Hey guys they let me into the s5 writers room

[evenings-at-the-seaofquanta]

Having a moment rn

Also on a more general note:

[tsuchinokoroyale]

[13eyond13]

gotta say i tried watching the iwtv series but the tone just seems off somehow. there are good things about it sure, and i do love sam reid (?) as lestat, but the tone issue is similar to why i think vampire diaries is so off-putting for me. like, it focuses on sex and blood so strongly in a way, and sort of misses the elements that made the books so interesting to me. i wish i could explain this vibe better, lol.

that being said, i would be interested in your opinion on the show if you ever watch it! often when i happen to know the piece of media you're talking about you voice things about it that i haven't been able to put into words myself but strongly agree with, haha.

I'll try watching it today since the books are still fresh in my mind and see what I think! Curious to know instead of just judge mostly based on clips and gifs...

[fatelcved]

IMAGES OF CHIYOKO HISAKAWA : 1 of ???

once gaining steady income as a mangaka, chiyoko seriously contemplates a more elaborate tattoo; rather than the cute little images she's imagined here and there, she wants something truly stunning to look at. the idea strikes her one morning after managing to spill paint all over her favorite pair of shorts, a deep green running over the blue material and down her calves. wouldn't it be pretty to paint her skin much like a canvas? chiyo eventually settled on a design that looks similar to watercolor, and though the visuals above lack much color, chiyo's tattoos are deep blues, purples, and reds that fade into each other, similar to what you see in these images here ( nudity warning, though nothing explicit ). the shading would most resemble the bottom right image, filling empty space with shadow or colored gradient. her tattoo curls along her right arm, across her chest, and down the left side of her waist, hip, and leg ( as depicted in the bottom left image ). getting to this point has, of course, taken quite a bit of time, especially as chiyo had to grow comfortable enough with her tattoo artist to allow them near parts of her body that are typically concealed. the whole thing has cost her a lot of money and tears, but she's pretty proud of the art she and her tattooist created. she plans to keep adding to it in the future.

[x-heesy]

hElP mE

i DoN’t DeSeRvE a ThInG

i HaTe Me

I fEeL aShAmEd

WhEn YoU dOn’T hUrT mE

hOw CoUlD i GiVe ThIs AlL tO sOmEoNe ElSe

WhEn I dOn’T lOvE mYsElF

wHy YoU aLwAyS wAiTiNg On Me

WhEn I dOn’T dEsErVe It

WhY tHe FuCk YoU wAiTiNg On Me

WhEn I cAn’T cOnTrOl It

I dOn’T tHiNk YoU uNdErStAnD iT

wHeN i FaLl BeHiNd On My PrOmIsEs

WhY dO yOu KeEp WaItInG fOr Me

If YoU’rE tIrEd Of ThIs

TwIcE tHe LoVe

In HaLf ThE tImE

bUrNs ToO fAsT aNd ToO bRiGhT

aNd NoW wE’rE tRaPpEd In ThIs

TiNy BoX

tHaT’s EvEn WoRsE iN mY hEaD

hElP mE

hUrT mE

i DoNt DeSeRvE a ThInG i-

HaTe Me

HuRt Me

HeLp Me

I dOnT dEsErVe A tHiNg

I hAtE mE

i FeEl AsHaMeD wHeN yOu DoN’t HuRt Me

HoW cOuLd I gIvE tHiS aLl To SoMeOnE eLsE

wHeN i DoN’t LoVe MySeLf

So WhY tHe FuCk YoU wAiTiNg On Me

WhEn YoU sHoUlD kNoW bEtTeR

wHy CaN’t I jUsT lEt Go

I nEeD sOmEtHiNg To HoLd

To ChOkE tHe LiFe OuT oF

tO cHoKe ThE lIfE oUt Of

To ChOkE tHe LiFe OuT oF

tO cHoKe ThE lIfE oUt Of

TwIcE tHe LoVe

In HaLf ThE tImE

bUrNs ToO fAsT aNd ToO bRiGhT

aNd NoW wE’rE tRaPpEd In ThIs

TiNy BoX

tHaT’s EvEn WoRsE iN mY hEaD

hElP mE

hUrT mE

hElP mE

i DoNt DeSeRvE a ThInG

i HaTe Me

I fEeL aShAmEd WhEn YoU dOn’T hUrT mE

hOw CoUlD i GiVe ThIs AlL tO sOmEoNe ElSe

WhEn I dOn’T lOvE mYsElF

wHaT i LeAvE yOu WiTh

WoN’t Be EnOuGh

At LeAsT i WoN’t TaKe It BaCk

AnD aLl ThE sCaRs

ThAt I lEfT oN oUr HeArTs

WiLl BeCoMe MeAnInGlEsS @pulsantilla <3 X

Help Me by AWAY, Koda <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Winston in the Billions

(that not only did billions never write a moment like this, & would never have done so, but doesn't think such a moment would exist)

[lescarbille]

Carcar is ruining my life.

I have this girl!Oscar plot idea for You'd be standing in my garage light, and everything I could think of is turning it into a Carcar. To be clear, I'm very doubtful about You'd be standing in my garage light (Landoscar - girl! Oscar) because I'm very disappointed about the chapter that I wrote and I think it misses some spice (guess it's kinda chilli spice now).

I know some of you read it and I want your opinion.

So here it is, some elements for the Carcar :

It's a rivals to rivals with benefits to we're both catching feeling and we're miserable about to secret lovers to lovers.

Lando being obvious.

Lando is a man on a quest : convince his teammate and grid best friend to be friend.

Radio beef / Race beef / "he's blind" / "did she learns something in her rookie year, or what?"

"Fine, but I only do it because of Lando."

Landoscar twinning.

Oscar being the chillest person in the world except when it comes to Carlos.

Basically Oscar being Oscar

Oscar being a pr nightmare but in a funny way like : "Whaouh the FIA fighting patriarchy with tee-shirt? I'm wondering why nobody think about it before."

Lestappen acting as a platonic married couple.

Lestappen knowing there is a girl in Carlos life and acting as wingmans.

Silly season.

Real fight for the championship.

Carlos "What are you going to do? Fired me? You already done that" Sainz.

"You look like Eric in the little mermaid but not as a compliment".

Ollie Bearman is adopted by the grid.

Prema guys (Logan / Arthur / Robert / Fred) .

Fernando has seen this film before...

Oscar involved in the F1 Academy + the F1 Academy girl.

What it could be like to be the only girl on the grid.

1989 strike is back except it's just George who want to hijack a bus.

"I'm not going to sacrifice my career for you. If we doing this and we got caught, I'll throw you under a bus." (not the same)

If I write the Carcar I'll have to delete You'd be standing in my garage light. Also if I write the Carcar, we're going from teen and up audiance to explicit.

Feel free to go on my ask or message box.

I just don't know what to do 🤷‍♀️

[postscript-mc]

On the Brink of Dreamscape and Daybreak

In a wrinkle in time,

I found myself once again in Neverland.

Like dream catchers that chime,

the breeze whistled lullabies of lost youth in Slumberland.

A foolish kid, enamored;

With one playful grin, my senses scattered.

Young love, I reckon, is to leap blindly like bright-eyed puppies.

Despite my fright, I'd take flight with you over endless prairies.

Elder and wiser, I am to fight shy of hurt;

But in your familiarity, I unstitched my shadow.

Deluded in a child's play of pretend, I twirl wearing my best dress shirt.

Lead with your sparkle in the dark; trust I'll always follow.

Catching stars and chasing fireflies,

Let all of our make-believes come alive.

Take me by surprise ㅡ stay longer, "let's hide together from the sunrise."

Where our crossworlds collide, with you, I'll always arrive.

ㅡ M.C.

Songs that inspired "On the Brink of Dreamscape and Daybreak":