#me the option while im still training but i need the money.....

[cryptidfuckery]

hey i have a question since you’re in the cosmetology field: i’ve been thinking about taking a cosmetology certification course so i have a more employable trade skill (since im having difficulty finding an academically inclined job). do you think it’s a good idea? i’ve been told that it is because it’s still a semi-creative field and my undergrad degree is in art. i guess i’m just concerned because it’s like, “what if i spend the money on the supplies and classes and, at the end of it, i still cant find a job?” i also feel like, “the time will pass anyway, so i may as well.”

idk, what are your thoughts?

*rubs hands together* alright let's make a pros and cons list

PROS

- trade school takes less time and money than a degree. Often you can translate things you learned in your degree (especially art!!!) Into this trade

- you already have a leg up on so many other students simply by understanding color theory. I'm serious. You will start to understand how to formulate colors much quicker. This will make your life easier.

- you can be a little more picky about what kind of place you want to work. There are a million different types of salons that all offer something unique. You can find a mom and pop shop, or you can find corporate. You can find something in between. All have their own pros and cons.

- over time you can decide which skills you want to focus on and become a specialist. Seriously if you can learn how to platinum blonde people, you might have a wicked fun (AND LUCRATIVE) time doing vivids and alt vivids. Think rainbows and racoon stipes and cheetah print extensions and painting flowers on a buzzcut.

- this industry has the ability to be more lax with appearance. THIS DOES DEPEND ON WHERE YOU WORK. but! I find it's more and more of a trend to let stylists dress to express themselves instead of requiring a uniform. But this completely depends on your boss. I'll be real with you my clients have been dealing with me wearing sweat pants for years. The right ones will love you no matter how you look.

- even if you're still getting your skills refined, a lot of hairdressing is whether or not your clients like your personality. If you can hit the bullseye of doing their hair how they like it AND they love hanging out with you, you've just retained a client.

CONS

- overhead cost of going back to school. Check if you can access financial aid, you should be able to. But I paid around $17k for my 8 month full-time program. If you can't pay out of pocket, you'll be taking more loans home with you.

- time. Every state in the US has its own individual requirements for the hours needed to apply for a license. I'm in Massachusetts, which has one of the lowest hours needed at 1000. That translates to about 8 months full time (40hr weeks), or a year and a few months with the part time option my school had. CHECK YOUR STATE REQUIREMENT. You will only get a license valid in the state you went to school.

- you usually leave cosmetology school able to pass the state board exam. That is what the school is for. Most of the techniques and actual training ends up coming from the salons you work at. There is still a learning curve to hurdle after you get out of school. (Pro: But you'll be making money while doing it!) Some schools will give you more training, but it depends on the school (and they are usually more expensive)

- tagging onto the last one, your mentors are extremely important. Idk if this is a con its more what you need to be thinking about when looking for a place to work after school. Who your mentor is can make or break your experience at a salon.

- if you don't like working with, touching, or talking to people, this might not be the job for you. Being a hairdresser can kick your social anxiety's ass, but it's basically gonna be through forced exposure therapy. You'll be talking to people for the rest of your life.

- this is kind of both a pro and a con. On one hand, the moment you leave the salon you aren't taking any work with you. Ever. Unless you own your own place. On the other hand, you have to learn to leave your personal life problems at the door if you want to be a successful hairdresser. Yeah we cut hair, but we are also entertainers. Few people like a sad clown :( we're also therapists! Few people like a sad therapist :(

- school is....... school. You'll be in with a very, very mixed bag of people. My class even had a mother/ daughter duo attending at the same time! BUT! You will have to deal with fresh out of high school kids. This is the majority of the students. You might be able to curb this by starting before the end of the school year, but they will always be there.

And actually I got something else to say about that. The best thing you can do if you decide to do it, is to NOT treat it as school. Treat it as training for a job. You are there to learn the most you can so you can be as prepared as possible with what they're giving you. Your teachers will love you, and you'll feel like you made the most of your time with the money you are spending.

[editblr-confessions]

https://www.tumblr.com/editblr-confessions/769504314859388928/hey-chat-being-pro-endo-and-supporting-endo?source=share <- is so funny

"im a diagnosed system!!!! im diagnosed!!!! this hurts me so badly!!!!" okay. how? let's go through it.

endos remain largely online and don't tell people about their alters offline, so it can't be that they're making a mockery of us to the public. even then, the public usually sees us as freaks who are faking regardless, so it doesn't matter if they start talking about alters to people.

if an endo does go to a psychiatrist/therapist about the issue, good cool awesome whatever. they're trained, i would know since im training to become one, and if said endos symptoms don't match to the extent of any dissociative disorder they won't be treated for it. but even then, dissociative disorders would not be the first thing a psychiatrist/therapist looks at, even if they're told straightforward that a patient believes they have alters. and if this endo truly does not have did/osdd, then they will turn down the option to be diagnosed with it regardless—if they do not do this, and they walk out of that clinic/hospital etc. with a diagnosis, it means that multiple professionals and specialists have spoken one on one with that individual and decided their symptoms line up to such an extent that they should have a diagnosis.

"i suffer daily" so do i. i have been writing down things about my system for close to a decade, collecting all the information i can in an attempt to get by in life. i am chronically ill, and oftentimes cannot even get out of bed. i have gone through multiple suicide attempts because of my system and what it holds, and yet i have never once abandoned my empathy towards endos because that is incredibly counterproductive.

look at the ages of these people. the rise of did/osdd happened in 2020, slowing at the end of 2022, so it's safe to assume that if these people are faking then they've been faking for a good while now. do you know what sociogenic illness is? these people, usually aged 13-19, will hold symptoms of being a system if not because they are one then because they're constantly in a community where everyone has visible symptoms. granted, these symptoms would be easier to treat and less impactful than those seen in cdds, but do you think it's fair to sit and scream about how the symptoms impact you worse than them?

once again, the ages of endos comes into play. 13-19, usually without jobs and in some form of student debt. they cannot steal resources (common anti-endo argument) because they do not have the money to do so. one specialist appointment is typically somewhere between $80-140 depending on the area you're from, and while yes you can get it lowered through a bunch of different means, the most you'll likely ever be able to get it lowered to is $30 per session, and it takes multiple sessions a month over months and/or years to achieve a diagnosis. do you know how much that is? that is a borderline impossible amount for most people in general to pull out of nowhere, let alone for random teenagers who can only find comfort in these forms of communities because their real lives have gone to hell. by the way, did i mention these people are trained, and wouldn't take endos seriously in an office unless there was actually something to take seriously?

i don't really care if you're anti endo, hell i identify more with anti-endos than pro-endos, but let's not pretend this is still a mass consciously faking situation, because it shouldn't be anymore. "all endos are faking" should never have been a valid talking point in the first place, because it stems not from actual genuine insight, but instead from heavy paranoia and a need to defend something important (systems remaining solely cdd-related) at all costs. and in some parts, that's fine, i understand it myself, but chasing after endos over stuff that will likely not impact any of us in any form of near future will not get anything done except continue to brew a disgusting concoction of hatred and disgust for anyone who isn't exactly like you.

you do not need to get along with endos, you do not need to even interact with them. but you do need to watch what you say online (not directly @ you anon, but to the wider system community in general) because these things will eventually wrap back around to strangle you.

anyway, all this to say.. once again.. this topic is incredibly nuanced and acting like endogenic = fake, traumagenic = real 24/7 is incredibly stupid and i hate syscourse and it should have no place on editblr.

(same anon as https://www.tumblr.com/editblr-confessions/769425329754423296/getting-really-sick-of-editblr-syscourse-drama-bc?source=share, could i get the 🖍️ anon tag if it isn't taken ?! p.s sorry for how long this is i didn't realise oops)

crayon you are incredibly based.

[link to og post]

[astronomical-bagel]

Whats your monkie kid au about?

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!!!! IVE BEEN WORKING ON A POKEMON AU!!!!!!!

(idk when the cutoff will be, but warning for a very long infodump XD)

okay listen i cannot emphasize how much thought has been put into this, i have backstories for each of the pokemon, i know how all of them met their trainers, ive designated the serious trainers with a specific type of pokemon they train, like. listen to me. i have put SO much thought into this and how pokemon would fit into the lmk universe and canon. im going insane.

anyways, heres some of the pokemon/trainer lineups. ive done..... a large majority of the important cast? i havent gone into azure's whole group, but i think thats all im missing. i've done a lot.

ANYWAYS take the traffic light trio, they were the first ones i did!

And heres how they met each pokemon! (I havent named any of them yet LMAO, but i will!)

MK

No specialty

Whimsicott

it flew into his face on a breeze when he was a kid (like ten), he begged to keep it. It evolves before canon starts while theyre playing together :)

Monferno

found during “A hero is born”, when climbing down the mountain (it kind of just followed him for a while until he noticed it and went :D!!). it evolved in s4 “the emperor’s wrath” against azure (when he fully accepted his monkey form)

Kubfu 

“Impossible delivery”, He runs into it (literally) on the way home down the mountain, and he keeps it bc why not

Mei

Dragon/Electric

Rayquaza 

Passed down through the family, kinda fucks off until mei calls upon it (mei can still turn into a dragon, needs to learn to work together with him and do JOINT ATTACKS)

Vibrava

Chosen at a store with her parents before canon, evolved when she used the dragon blade

Boltund

“The great wall race”, evolved during the training in s2 “this is the end”

Pawmi

Found in s3 special “this imperfect world” during training with redson, helped her conceptualize the storing and release of energy of the Samadhi fire and stuff

Red Son

Fire

Ponyta

Chosen w parents as a child

Tauros

Inherited from his father after he was trapped (the other pokemon didnt make it)

Salandit

Caught before his father was released, found in volcano 

Sizzlepede

Found in volcano cave (different one, still before dbk was released) and it tried to eat him and he was Delighted

Fletchling 

Found sometime around “revenge of the spider queen”. It was injured (fell out of nest? Hurt leg? hmm) but still tried to attack him and defend its territory, so he deemed it strong enough to become his teammate 

okay okay some notes:

Pigsy didn't want MK having too many pokemon, partially because of mess/healthcode violations, and also because of money reasons. he had just the one pokemon the for the majority of his life, and after 'A Hero Is Born' pigsy was 1. so glad that MK was alive that he didn't care and 2. mk promised to keep it away from the kitchen and pay for all of its needs itself and ect ect. it was very much a 'PLEAAAASEEE can I keep it 🥺' kind of thing. The Kubfu mainly stays at the training ground (its very dedicated), so that wasn't an issue.

For Mei, she chose the trapinch (the preevolution of the vibrava) at the pokemon equivalent of a pet store bc its a tradition in the family to get a dragon-type pokemon when they turn twelve. her parents showed her a bunch of options and she thought the final evolution looked epic. The Boltund is known for chasing fast things, including vehicles. it chased her until the finish line and she was delighted to have attracted such a fast pokemon. the pawmi was just a little guy that she was secretly messing with instead of paying attention to red son XD

okay there's not too much extrapolation i have to go into for red son, BUT. the fact that none of his pokemon have evolved was/is a major sore point for him, and his parents often were critical on whether they (and by proxy, red son) were strong enough. Now he and his parents are more normal about it, and ironically its the lack of stress and pressure that's going to make it easy for them to evolve now. smth smth friendship is an important part of a pokemon's health, its like a whole character arc for him.

AND THATS NOT ALL. I wanted to go over like... specifically why i chose some of these pokemon!! like, for MK, his pokemon represent different parts of him, like, narratively!

the whimscott is playful, loves pranks, and its kind of a metaphor for the more childish side of him? Which is why i made it his first pokemon! (I also chose it because it reminded me of the monkey kings cloud, which i feel like his younger self would have wanted sooo bad LMAO)

the monferno is obviously related to his connection to the monkey king, but most importantly it hangs in packs, and THEREFORE represents his love for his friends bc obviously that's a huge part of him, yk? (I also really like this pokemon for him bc it matches his color scheme XD)

And for the Kubfu, the episode it was found on is very important! the kubfu is known for how dedicated it is to its training both its body and its mind, as well as its "fighting spirit". Sooo obviously it represents MK's sense of duty and his want to train to be better! He and his kubfu train a LOT in season 2, when he's trying to prepare for the LBD. (Fun Fact: this was almost Wukong's pokemon, but i couldnt stop drawing connections to MK when looking at it because its got the little bandana and everything, and i thought it was too similar to him to be wukongs pokemon. i mean, if he already mentored that pokemon, that would make the fact that he's mentoring MK way less meaningful, yk?)

OKAY OKAY IM FINALLY DONE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK AND LETTING ME RAMBLE. PLEASE SEND ME MORE ASKS, I HAVE PUT JUST AS MUCH THOUGHT INTO EVERY OTHER CHARACTER'S POKEMON, AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ON EVERYTHING. I AM NOT EXAGERATING IN THE SLIGHTEST MY GOOGLE DOCS FOR THIS IS ALREADY SO LARGE. IF YOU WANT YOU CAN ASK FOR SPECIFIC CHARACTERS OR GROUPS AND I CAN GIVE YOU ALL THE POKEMON THEY HAVE AND STUFF.

[b3mym1stake]

A very serious the 1975 fanfiction.

This is.... interesting.... so um please dont take it seriously. There is nothing weird or nsfw about this. Just your average cringy 2014 style fanfiction.

PLEASE IGNORE ANY SPELLING OR PUNCTUATION MISTAKES I WROTE THIS AT THREE AM.

During the night, i was sleeping peacefully in my king sized bed, but in the morning, my mothers harsh and shallow voice awakened me. "Wake up you waste of space" she screamed. It didnt bother me. i have been allowing it to happen for years, me letting her treat me like shit i mean. It doesnt hurt me anymore. I get up and i go to the bathroom to wash up. As i stare into the mirror i notice all the imperfections in my skin. The deep gash of my forehead from when i had a huge pimple and just couldnt leave it alone, the multiple scars on my nose from peeling my skin too much in the summer when i got sunburned, the millia under my eye that is very permanently injured and scarred from when i was 12 and thought it was a pimple... Im so different than all the other girls... They all have glass skin and look like if Serena Van der Woodsen and Taylor Swift had a lovechild that was raised by Blair Waldorf. Yet here i was, imperfect and unloved, still feeling happy about who i was.

After i was done with all that daily philosophical thinking, i threw my long, blonde hair in a messy bun, wore my favourite band t-shirt, my "the 1975" muscle tank. I bought it after i saw taylor swift wearing it even though i absolutely love the 1975. I wear a pair of boho themed patterned leggings, and my high top uggs. I gaze into my shining blue orbs in the mirror and decide that today will be a day where i actually wear a bit of makeup. Unlike other girls, i dont need to wear makeup to feel pretty, i have found a source of happiness very deep in me that no one can ever truly take away.

"Autumn Raine!!!!! Come down RIGHT NOW!!!" My mother screamed from downstairs. I sighed, breathing away all those thoughts that had occured to me while i was zoning out while looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. "Cominggg!!" i said back, my voice soft and feminine. As i walked down the stairs, i saw four men sitting on our couch. For a second i thought my mom was making me go to casting for a COMPLEEEEETELY different thing, but then i remembered, im still her daughter and she probably wouldnt want that to happen right in front of her. However, after a close inspection, i figured out who the four unknown men sitting on our couch were, and how they werent so unknown after all....

"Matty, Adam, George and Ross?!?!?!" I say in surprise. "What the actual hell is the 1975 doing on my couch??" I think. "We are here for a very special reason, George says, his voice thick and coarse. He doesnt talk much but i bet that when he does, people listen. "We are here for you, actually" The small one says, his voice somehow both high and low pitched at the same time, "Im Matty, Matty Healy." He states and extends his hand for me to shake. "I know.. heh" I answer back shyly and shake his hand. He gives me a smile. "Your mother contacted us and said you guys were running low on money and that she needed to get rid of you asap" Adam continues, his voice more deeper than i expected based on how thin and zesty he looks. "Why would you pick me?" i asked, geniuenly wondering. "well," George says, his voice cold and mysterious, "it is quite a long story, according to our research, you are...." he stops abruptly. "i am what? Come on you cant just stop in the middle of that" i shout. "My sister." He states and looks to the side as if he is trying to hide his face. "Oh." i say, as it is all i manage to get out of me. "Am i seriously directly related to my favourite band?!?!?" I think, but it doesnt take long before my train of thought gets interrupted by George again. "My paren-" He stops. "Our parents, they couldnt afford to have another kid after they had me." He starts explaining. "Mom didnt have another option than to give birth to you, then give you away.. So thats exactly what she did." He sighs. "So, my- my- my mother is-is-is not my- my- my actual mom?" I say and my voice come out sounding more sad than how im actually feeling. "No, honey" My mom says. "Dont you "Honey" me, you have never been nice to me in my life. Now suddenly youre all nice and loving. Youre so fake" I say. My mom stands up, and raises her hand as if shes going to slap me. I close my eyes and prepare for the slap. Sure, ive been slapped by her before, but never infront of guests. Especially infront of actually important people. I brace myself for the slap, but the slap never came. Instead, i open my eyes and see.... a back? Its a weird pattern of a colorful floral thin button up shirt. (See picture for exact pattern hehe see what i did there lol)

"You will not touch our property." a voice said, that i later realised to be Matty. (writers note: that single line took me ten minutes to write because its so cringe i physically couldnt bring myself to write it) "Oh- so sorry." said my mother. I gave her a snyde look that i just knew annoyed her so much. Matty turned around, "Are you okay love?" He said. "Oh- oh um yeah its alright." I said and giggled. "Shall we go?" Ross suggested and slowly, all of them got up from the couch. "Wait," i said, worryingly "I havent even packed my stuff yet. i didnt know i would be getting out of here permanently." I say, pleading for some time to pack. "Okay go on," Matty said, "We need to have a chat with your mother." I nod. As im going up to my room, i hear Matty and George talking to my mom about how shes never gonna be able to contact me again and how no matter how badly she needs money she should never try to contact me or any of them for any reason. I went up to my room and started packing. "All those band shirts...." I thought. There was no way i would fit all of them in my duffel bag. I just took my all-time favourites. The 1975, Halsey (ironic i know), Arctic monkeys, Marina and the diamonds, taylor swift, the strokes, G-easy, and finally, The Neighbourhood. I grabbed my big pile of skinny jeans and urban outfitters jewellery, a couple of my cds from my collection, and any sort of actually valuable merch i had. I ran down the stairs, i tripped, and started rolling down the stairs, when i felt a pair of arms catch me. "Woah there!" Matty said, and gave me a side smile. (this just took 10 years off my lifespan). I smiled shyly. "Im so clumsy." I complains. "Me too" Says Matty and gives me a wink. I blush. "Shall we go?" Says Ross. "Of course." I reply. "Dont you want to say goodbye to your mother?" He asks. "Shes not my mother, and no, not really." I say and give her a sneaky look and smile. She looked furious. i didnt care. i was way past that now that i discovered that my all time favourite people loved me too, nothing mattered anymore.

And thats how my story with the 1975 started...

Ending thoughts: i swaer to god this thing just took 20 years off my lifespan i have never physically cringed so hard while doing something. Some parts took me like half an hour to finish because i couldnt bring myself to actually write what i had in my mind. but hope i made lots of people cringe. Anyways, lots of love, gooooooodbyeeeee.

[that-girl-lyra]

My Side-Hustle Streams

If you're anything like me, you like to make a bit of coin on the side and I mean really, who doesn't? We've all seen those awful TikToks of "Make $10k a month with xyz!" and while that sounds absolutely amazing...its just a farce, or just a way for the creator to sell you their course.

These below are actual little side hustles that ACTUALLY pay and while its not big bucks or a livable wage, if you have some time on your hands and want some extra cash, then these are for you <3

Prolific

This is my all time favourite. Prolific is the best survey and usertesting site out there. Im still new to the platform but in the time that I've spent just passively doing research studies and surveys, I have made over $70 (some submissions can take a while to pend) and it pays out (so long as you withdraw!) every Tuesday and Friday afternoon! The minimum cash out is $5 which doesnt take long adding up! Payments go directly into your paypal as well.

Sign up for Prolific!

My earnings

There is also a subreddit for Prolific users known as r/prolific and you can chat with other people who love this platform as well!

Attapoll

Now while Prolific's site is fantastic and I have no complaints, the mobile site can be a bit...iffy. There aren't too many studies that require mobile, but they still exist and when you cant do them, it can get frustraiting to deal with. And that's where Attapoll comes in! Attapoll is a fantastic mobile survey app and always has tons of surveys available. While you may not qualify for all of them, there are always plenty to choose from and the cash doesnt take long building up.

If you're constantly on the go and would prefer a more mobile option, Attapoll is one of my favourites in that department! The minimun cash out depends on which method you choose (Paypal is $3, Revolute is $2.50) and it doesnt take long to build up. I personally like to do these surveys on the train, or right when I wake up.

Sign up for Attapoll here!

Influence

Another fantastic mobile one would be Influence! I put this one below Attapoll because personally, I am a little shy and don't like being caught...well, talking lol, but this one pays extremely well for what little work you put into it.

Basically, the meat and potatoes lie in the video surveys. You get paid around .25 for each video response and its generally super simple questions like "What were your shopping habits like this week?" and I usually get multiple per day and it refreshes every single day!

It pays out via Paypal when you request a payout, however the minimum threshold is $10 so, it is a bit high. However if you dont mind putting a little time into it, you're likely to see a quick return.

Sign up for Influence here!

NextDoor

This method by far pays the best. This isnt an app or site you make money off of directly, however its a great way to get your name out there and make money if you have a local/small business in your specific neighborhood or area.

I advertise dogwalking, pet sitting, house sitting, cleaning and other odd job services! You'd be surprised at the amount of people looking for someone to just help out with either moving furniture, or other simple tasks.

Of course you can make a business page, but you can also just browse NextDoor itself and send members in your area messages and offer your services to help them out.

If Im honest, one of my best friendships came from this app and I still clean her house and I look forward to it every week!

My only complaint about this app/site is its not the most functional. Sometimes it doesnt send you a notification when someone messages you or comments on your post so, you'll need to keep an eye on it yourself. I wish they would optimize it a bit better but I suppose its best to take the bad with the good.

Sign up for NextDoor here!

These are my top side hustle sites so far! Try them out for yourself and let me know how you get on! Im sure I'll find and write about more in the comming days, but for now, give these a shot!

Ive always said, a little goes a long way, and all the little bits n pieces from these sites certainly add up!

Have fun and best of luck to you all in your side hustle journey!

[teenagesaladdreamer]

It's Been a While

I lowkey dissapeard for a while, heh, I don't think anyone missed me tho, not here at least. But it's okay because I do this blog for myself in the first place. I still want to share great news that happened recently. STAYS will get it...IM GOING TO THE STRAY KIDS CONCERT IN TORONTO THIS SUMMER HAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAJSDKAJJDOASJDFOSJDJC

....

I need to calm down. I'm sorry but it makes me soooooo so happy, it's more than rare that they end up in Canada during a world tour. I'm incredibly lucky that there were some good tickets left, I'm not too far from the stage, still far but the website said I would have a wonderful view of the stage, which is great. For a first concert ever, it's really not that bad. The only inconvenient will be the transport...I can feel my bank account shaking....

My ticket was around 260$, not bad, but the thing is...I'm in Montréal...in Québec...and their ass will be in Toronto....that's a whole different province...8h drive in car without trafic...7h drive in train without bus and metro...78$ the train ticket...13$ the metro/bus pass...all this twice if I don't have a lift...it's around 185$! And the show is at 7h30....probably ending around 11h or midnight...THERE IS NO NIGHT TRAIN FOR THE ROUTE I HAVE TO TAKE so I have to stay the night...IN A MOTHERF*CKING HOTEL!! They will be so fucking pricey because of the show....I'm gonna be so poor.... But I already have a plan, I found a little inn or soomething like that at 55$ the night, i will get my sleeping bag and get in that suspicious looking bed if I have to! But also, if I'm lucky, a friend of mine could drop me the 28th, the show is the 29th, he got a soccer match in town so he could lift me and I would come back alone. Another friend of mine could also lift me and I could even crash on the sofa of his hotel room for a night, he would be there for a vacation or someting, he could left me around like to the show and the train station, which would be nice. If I'm even more lucky, my dad could pick me up in Montréal and drive me back home caus of course I DIDN'T PASS MY STUPID DRIVER LICENCE and my BROKE ASS can't afford a GODDAMN TAXI!!

Anyways...I mentally prepare myself to pay around 200$ of transport...my bank accound suffers already...another option would be that I take a credit card with a limit of 500$ and put all the expanses on it, which would spare some immediat money loss on my debit accound. Tho idk if I really want to do that, I'm scared of credit cards...it's the devil under the form of a plastic card...Plus, knowing myself, online shopping will be a big problem....help....

Anyways, again, in 3 month, I will be broke, but at least, I will be happy

I would have spent more on the ticket if I didn't have that surgery to pay for, but hey, in 2 years, when I will have my bike/car and that my recovery will be full, I will get myself a ticket for Korea, find a hotel and get a ticket for their concert, and guess what, I'm gonna be IN F*CKING FRONT OF THE STAGE

Can't wait!! JJJSAKJDSKHFDSSFSDFSK I still can't believe I will see Stray Kids LIVE, like, in person, like, in the same location, like, in the same area, like, HAAAAAAAA it will be the best f*cking day of my f*cking life!!

I will stop the yapping now, I'm a busy person, I got shit to do

I wish yall health, hope you all eat well

See you next time :)

[theuniverseawakens347]

okay here my thing.. issue … home boy in this clip…. Missed the fucking point and let HIM EMOTIONS OVER RIDE… ITS OKAY MISTER TIK NOCK… YOU WORK A 9-5 AND BURNT OUT BUSINESS OPTIONS OF BOSSING IT FOR YOU …. I’m saying it creatively so he gone find me and word shoot off… that’s fine another news coming for that ass… U DONT KNOW HOW TO BE A BOSS OR UNDERSTAND THE LOGIC IT TAKES TO FLURISH THAT SKILL SET… SO YOU GET CAUGHT KR STOPMSHORT..don’t mind the spelling… THE POINT WAS AS AN OWNER I WANT THE BEST ( and this is why business fail and background checks are important … under and or over payed or over stepped to please someone or see a check Halle) … I WANT THE BEST MENTALITY MY WORKERS …IF IM JUST STARTING MY BUSINESS ( why lipgloss girl kept it in the family til someone or something happened or someone else family story indyamarie mhmm queen hi) IM UP FRONT W WHAT I CAN PROVIDE AND DO… I EXPECT THE SAME RESPECT AND IF ITS NOT FOR YOUNA NOTICE VERBALLY AND A WHY..but yal so damn money hungry… scarcity societal set up I DO AND DONT BLAME YOU.. SURVIVAL INNER LOST CHILD COMES OUT for some… ya start being late or disrespectful to the customers … AND SOME ESTBLISHMENTS LONG STANDING .. hire to just hire and lose the principal of caring for the worker except the mangers now it’s about I gotta make revenue and keep the profit and receipts balanced… but again BACK END TAXES STARBUCKS … extra nice on the back ugly on the front… BUTTER FINGER… reverse Halle. Sorry but you took it there twig wo boobs… so you call me w.e …. But NOW the employees feel taken advantage of now they go what… DISRESPECTFUL N OR QUIT.. SEAL CASH FREE DRINK FOOD MERCH ECTRA .. athlete malaica… YOUNPROMISED MANAGER SPORT SUMMER HIRING TO FULL TIME BUT STILL WORK PART TIME WHILE CLEANING UR SHOP MESSES CAUSE IMA HARDWORKER.. ILLEGAL AS FUCK. 4 months “ training” then say “position is filled” SO I SAID WELL IMA QUIT IF IM NOT GETTING PROMOTED I DONT NEED TOMBE HERE..IRONICALLY THAT S

was ur issue on the back end two… promised a promotion but ur boss took advantage of your work ethic… AND YOU BITCH ASS TIRED CUNT TOOK IT OUT ON ME SO I IN RETURN A WEEK LATER QUIT. …. AJA YOU NEVER WORKED WITH ME AND I NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED HERE YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT.

[freesomebodybyluna]

starb*cks has been so busy today bc its spring grad.....

[lubdubsworld]

The Devil’s own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there , staring at the ceiling and trying to come to terms with what had just happened. It was revolting. It was nauseating. It made me want to claw my own skin off. I stared at the intricate designs , carved into the ceiling, the panels that reflected life and made the room seem bigger than it was. The scent of jasmine and rosemary clung to the sheets and the drapes in the room, cloyingly sweet and meant to arouse the occupants.

I wondered how I’d got here.

I had memories of satin silk sheets and bright lights. My father had always spoiled me, the best of the best only for his only daughter and I’d indulged in luxury to my heart’s content. More shoes than I could possibly wear in a life time. Every season’s collection, straight into my wardrobe whether I asked for it or not. Diamonds and rubies and emeralds set in platinum and gold , jewelry to match my clothes and even my car if I felt like it.

I shut my eyes in despair. I didn’t miss the luxury as much as I missed the solitude. The option to just not do anything. My father hadn’t cared enough to see what I was upto and everyone knew that I was betrothed to Jungkook.

And that meant no dates or party invites because after the third guy got his arm in a sling after accidentally brushing past me , word kind of spread.  Stay away from Elena Gong or the Jeon kid will break your bones.

I shuddered. It had been an obsession, I thought vacantly.

Jungkook had been obsessed, even back then. I just hadn’t paid much heed to him. Because Jungkook back then had been terrifying but also ridiculously endearing in some way. He had seemed for lack of a better word…..insignificant. I was beautiful and rich, never lacked for attention and he was just one among the dozens. Even if I was betrothed to him, I hadn’t given much thought to him.

And Jungkook had taken my indifference in stride. He’d laughed and played around and I hated to admit it, treated me like a queen. Flowers, chocolates and gifts every other day . He would follow me around like a puppy , and I wondered if perhaps my dismissive attitude towards him back then had been a mistake. Did it push him over the edge?

My heart ached fiercely and when I finally willed myself to move, my body protested.

Every inch of me was sore and aching. My head because of how hard he’d gripped my hair. I sat up on shaky legs, fingers trembling as I pulled my shit up to stare at my body. Bite marks littered my skin, marring the smooth surface and I felt bile in my throat at the memory of his teeth on me.  Finger shaped bruises were beginning to bloom around my thighs and I couldn’t breathe over the agony ripping up my insides.

I glanced down between my thighs, at the sticky mess of his release dripping down into the sheets, staining the sheets a murky pink. I shuddered, disgusted. God, I hated him. Where was my phone? My clothes were still there at the foot of the bed and I noticed the small door on the right wall. Crawling off the bed on shaky legs , I limped carefully to the bathroom.

I took Hoseok’s shirt off dropping it in the corner before turning the showers on.

The water felt like a whip on my skin as I sat on the tiled bathroom floor , a small washcloth gripped tight in my hand as I carefully cleaned myself up. I had no idea what the time was… It must be very early or very late. No matter. I had to get out of here and get to Jisoo. I swallowed, imagining her alone all this time. The doctors had said she would be up in Guilt churned as I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet and wiped myself down.

It took me another ten minutes to finish dressing up and just as I finished slipping into my shoes, the door opened.  I glanced up, catching sight of Hoseok as he leaned against the door. He looked a little haggard, a black silk shirt unbuttoned to his chest and tucked into fitted jeans. I stared at him, watching the way his gaze roved over every inch of exposed skin, looking just a tad bit worried.

“The Hospital called. “ He said gently, “ They’re ready to release you sister. They want to know if you can come pick her up. The baby’s going to have to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks.”

I groaned. Great. More bills.

“I need a job. “ I said miserably. “ Help me out.” I stared at him beseechingly and Hoseok gave me a look.

“you know the kind of jobs I provide. You’re not built for it. “ He said shortly and I shook my head, impatient.

“that’s not what I meant and you know it. You and your friends pretty much own every club in the city. Get me a job ….” I whispered, moving to stand in front of him and he recoiled.

Just as always, I thought bitterly. Coward.

As much as a coward now as he’d been ten years ago, when he’d pretended that he didn’t have any feelings for me. Pretended that he didn’t give a damn about me.

The throb in my skull grew in intensity.

My throat was dry and I felt my vision swim a bit. I was tired. Exhausted . I hadn’t slept in….how long really? I hadn’t eaten in a day…for sure… And I likely wasn’t going to be eating for a long while, let alone feeding Jisoo if I didn’t get a job right away. I had twelve thousand won to my name and that was it.

“Jungkook-“ He began but I was sick of his name so I growled.

“Fuck, do you want me to beg Hoseok? I will… I can’t … I need a job… Please.” I said desperately, staring at him and his gaze softened.

“Elena, stop looking at me like that, fuck.” He swore, turning and punching the wall hard. “ fuck.”

“Just help me get a job. I’m not asking you to give me money or something.  You don’t even have to get it for me… Just tell me who’s hiring ? Somewhere away from Jungkook and his men.” I whispered , and the sheer irony of it didn’t escape me. Jung Hoseok was possibly one of Jungkook’s main men.

He ran his hand over his forehead, shaking his head.

“You’re going to get me killed someday.” He muttered, “ Fine. There’s a club down in Itaewon. It caters to cops and lawyers exclusively so Jungkook and his men usually keep out of it. My friend owns the place. His name is Im Jaebum.  I’ll get you a job there , waitressing. Is that alright?” He said softly and I wanted to sob in relief as I nodded. Itaewon meant pretty close to where the bakery was. I could take the bus.

“Fine. I’ll talk to him and call you. Here…” He held out a wad of cash and I took it greedily, eyes widening at the 100,000 written on the margin of each note. This was a lot of money.

“Hoseok…”I said stunned and he shrugged. “ Get food and baby stuff for Jisoo. If she’s going to feed the baby she needs to eat well. Fruits and veggies and lot of protein. If you run out, tell Jaebum you need some advance. He’ll pay you well.”

I nodded, stuffing the money into my pockets quickly . I swallowed when my insides throbbed, aching something fierce.

“Thank you.” I said softly, staring up at him and he hesitated, before reaching out and gently cupping my face in his palm. I flinched at his touch and he recoiled.

“Was he… Did he hurt you?” He whispered quietly and I smiled bitterly.

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” I sighed, shaking my head . I hesitated . I wasn’t sure if Hoseok would listen to me but I had to try at least.

“ Can you not tell him? That… That I was a virgin?” I asked quietly and he nodded.

“Wasn’t planning to.” He said casually.

I stared at him. I’d always found him handsome. Beautiful. Perfect . And I wondered where we had gone so wrong.

“Do you regret it.” I whispered. “ All those choices you made.”

“Which ones? …” he asked bitterly.

“you know… “ I snapped. “ the ones that lead us here. You and me…. Standing here like strangers. “

“I wouldn’t risk my life for a stranger. Which is what I’m doing every time I help you .” He said quietly.

“So what are we then?” I demanded.

“Old friends” He said casually.

I snorted.

“Fucking coward.” I whispered , loud enough for him to hear as I brushed past him and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I trudged all the way to the VIP room in the hospital flinching because that was probably a lot of money to be repaid , now owed directly to the devil spawn that was Jeon. I had grabbed a small meal on the way before quickly getting the bus to the Hospital. It was little past eleven in the morning and the hallways were packed with people. Sighing, I moved to the room where Jisoo was, slowly opening the door.

Min Yoongi sat on the chair next to the bed, gazing idly at my sister in law.

To say that I was shocked would be the biggest understatement of the century. My lips parted in shock, panic bubbling up inside me as I exhaled sharply.

“What-“ I swallowed gazing between him and my Jisoo, who was sitting up against the backrest on the bed, a tray of food on her lap and a small smile on her face.

“Lena!! You’re here!” She cried out softly, tears filling her eyes at once as she held both her hands up. I moved to hug her but my mind stayed on the man near the bed, his sultry feline eyes trained unblinkingly on her. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to get my breathing to regulate but it was impossible.

What on earth was Yoongi doing here?

“Mr. Min came to see me. He told me he knew Daehwan.” Jisoo said softly, looking sad but hopeful and I felt my heart turn over as I turned to stare at him.

Min Yoongi knew Daehwan as a target . A hit he had carried out himself.

But I couldn’t say a thing. Not in front of Jisoo.

“I’m only here to offer my help. It pains me to see you suffering, Jisoo. I know your husband would want you to be taken care of.” He said softly, his gaze still fixed on her and I didn’t like it. At all.

Bile rising, I gave him a glare.

“I’ll take care of her. Please don’t trouble yourself.” I said shakily and he glanced at me, lips parting a bit, turning into a smirk.

“You look… well rested.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Lena, come on… I know all this…this must be expensive. We can use all the help we can get and Mr. Min-“

“Please call me Yoongi, sweetheart.” Yoongi said charmingly and my sister in law blushed. I felt my skin crawl.

“Y-Yoongi said he has a spare room. I can’t stay in the bakery.  And it’s not like he’s a murderer or anything. He showed me his card. He’s a lawyer.” She said softly and I sighed in despair. Jisoo was naïve bordering on stupid and I wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

As I watched she went back to the food, eating ravenously and I felt my heart clench. I could see the twin damp spots at her chest and I noticed the breast pump on the table. It looked brand new. I hadn’t even thought about things she may need after the baby, too preoccupied with all the hospital bills and medicines I would have to pay for.

Diapers. Baby wipes. Those little flannel pieces mothers used to wipe down the baby. I felt my head spin, turning to Yoongi who was staring at me casually.

“Can we talk?” I said quietly and he straightened.

“Jisoo ssi… Please enjoy your meal. And here…” He gave her his phone. “ If you’re done, just give me a buzz on this.” He showed her something on the phone .” Go on try it.”

Jisoo pressed down on the screen curiously and Yoongi’s watch rang .

He grinned as she smiled.

“See? One touch and I’ll be here yeah?” He said softly, and I felt like I was stuck in some kind of drama, glancing between the pair of them.

“Are you leaving?” She asked curiously and he shook his head.

“I’ll be right here, outside. Having a word with Elena. You can finish your food and I’m guessing it’s time for you to pump again? The pediatrician said you’d have to pump every two hours with the milk so… if you get it ready, I’ll drop it off at the NICU.” He said calmly.

Jisoo nodded, staring at him with wide eyed gratefulness and I sighed in despair.

Yoongi moved to the door and I gave her a small smile before following him.

I waited till the door had closed behind me before turning to him, furious.

“What do you think you’re-“

“I want her.” He said shortly.

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

“No.” I hissed, furious and helpless with rage. “ Yoongi-“

“Don’t make me put a bullet in your head for this, Elena.” He said calmly and I exhaled shakily.

“She’s… You know she’s not like us. She doesn’t know anything about this life. As far as she knows my brother was a surgeon who got killed in a hit and run. You want to …. What do you really want? Did Jungkook put you upto this?”

“If Jungkook would have his way, your sister in law and your new nephew would both be dead. You know this.” Yoongi said casually. God, could I ever have a conversation with anyone without Jungkook being dragged into it? When did my life get twined so intimately with him?

“Where is he?” I asked quickly and Yoongi shrugged.

“He’s out of the country. He left an hour ago.”

“Switzerland….” I said before thinking and Yoongi stiffened.

“How did you know?” He demanded and I froze.

“I… I overheard …..someone.” I muttered and Yoongi moved so fast I barely caught it. The next second I was pressed up against the wall, his forearm pressing into my throat and holding me down while he held a knife right against my jugular.

“Nice try. Now the truth.” He hissed.

“Ouch..” I choked out , coughing  a bit. “ Fine.. Hoseok.. Hoseok told me.”

Yoongi pulled back.

“You fukcing him?” He asked casually and I glared at him.

“none of your business.” I snapped.

He laughed at that.

“I know you aren’t. Hoseok loves his dick too much to risk having it castrated.”

I sighed, shaking my head. I wasn’t here to talk about these bastards.

“Just leave Jisoo alone.” I said quietly and Yoongi sighed.

“What are you going to do with her, Elena. You can barely afford to feed yourself. You should be thankful I’m taking her off your hands.”

I ignored his nonsense and moved till I was pressed up against him, fingers curling into his chest. Yoongi looked surprised, lips twisting in displeasure when I blinked up at him.

“please.. Yoongi…” I begged, “ Don’t do this to me.” I said quietly. “ I … she’s all I have… She… My brother had nothing to do with any of this. You know that….He left this life decades ago. I don’t… I don’t know why Jungkook wanted him dead in the first place. I loved my brother and my brother loved his wife. I owe it to him … Please…just…Please leave her alone.” I whispered softly, letting my fingers drop to grip his arm.  

He tugged his arm away at once.

“ She needs more than empty platitudes and good intentions. She needs food and a place to stay with her baby. I’m giving her that.”

“And what do you get in return?” I demanded angrily. “ She just gave birth, fuck you. You can’t touch her , not unless you’ve lost the last shreds of humanity in that conscience of yours.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for sex, Elena. If I wanted easy pussy, I would have come to you…” He smirked.  “ Don’t forget that Jungkook and I share our toys, yeah?”

I opened my mouth to retort before remembering that I was trying to get him to listen to him.

“Then why? What do you want…tell me?”

“I told you. I want her. As she is.” Yoongi shrugged.

“You killed her husband.” I said , voice shaking as I remembered what Jungkook had said. About my brother begging for his life because Jisoo was pregnant. And how Yoongi hadn’t given a shit and shot him anyway.

“A minor inconvenience. Trust me if I’d seen her before I killed him…” He sighed, shaking his head in regret and I frowned.

“You would have spared him? “ I asked bitterly and Yoongi laughed.

“No.. I would have killed him sooner.” He smirked. “ Is there a point to this whole conversation… I’m getting bored and Jisoo’s waiting inside.”

“We’re supposed to get her out of the hospital today and-“

“I’m taking her home.” He said briskly. “ I’ve already spoken to her. And She’s agreed that a ramshackle , dilapidated bakery isn’t the right place for a new mother and a tiny baby.”

And the worst part was that I couldn’t even disagree.

And I couldn’t help but feel angry, betrayed. Jisoo was…. How could she? She hadn’t even bothered to talk to me about it… Just agreeing to move in with Yoongi. She was older than me. Supposed to be the smart one. My body ached. If that was the bed she was going to make , she could lie on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Going somewhere?” Jungkook’s voice made me freeze.

I swallowed, straightening and stepping back almost instinctively. He stood in the doorway, a cigarette held between his teeth as he stared at me . He looked like he’d showered as well, hair still damp and the smells of citrus and mint permeating the air around him.

It was exactly ten days since I’d last seen him and I’d settled into a routine of sorts. Im Jaebum’s bar, Venom was an exclusive club in Itaewon and I could easily disappear into the shadows, staying low and using the beret ( a part of the uniform ) to keep my face hidden as I served the patrons. Like Hoseok had said, the place was filled with cops and lawyers. Yoongi was a frequent fixture here , stopping for just a drink on most days before heading home to my sister in law.

It made me sick but there was nothing I could do about it. Jisoo and little baby Yunsu were both home and needed a l,ot of care. And Yoongi apparently had a cook, a housekeeper and a nanny who helped her out. Jisoo was wary, her senses finally returning but she was also clearly glad to be out of the streets.

“I’m going home after I finish my shift. “ I said softly, trying not to stare as he stepped into the room. I turned away from him moving to the shelves and pushing the small canister in place.

“Where’s home?” He asked casually. I flinched when he stepped right behind me, fingers reaching out to curl on my shoulder, pulling me back till I was flush against his chest. The heat of his body seeped in through the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my body heat up.

“You got what you wanted.” I said shakily. “ Let me go.” I whispered, dropping the cleaning cloth in the tray on the lower shelves, before moving to grab the mop. I just had to finish mopping the floor . And then I could leave.

But his grip on me stayed firm. I couldn’t move. Foreboding rose inside me.

Jungkook hummed at that, stepping closer, till I felt his chin brush the top of my head as he bent over me, arms coming around me  and fingers lightly unbuttoning the first two buttons of my  shirt. I stared at the dark ink on his forearm. , swallowing as he kept coming closer.

“What I wanted? That pathetic little display ten days ago?”  He whispered softly “ Just think about this Elena ……  I’ve been chasing you for years, I got rid of your entire family and yet I let you live. Why do you think that was, huh? “ He shook his head, “ For two minutes of you lying underneath me like a frigid bitch? You think that’s what I want Elena? Think I’ll be satisfied with that? ” He laughed.

I stared at the wall in front of me  and I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t play this sick game with him. Not when he kept changing the rules . Not when there was nothing left for me to gamble or lose.

“Jisoo. I have to go see her. Just… Just let me go see her. I need to see if she’s alright and then we can talk. ” I whispered. Jungkook smiled, tilting my  head to the side with his fingers. I felt the damp press of his lips against my jaw and my skin crawled.

“Don’t worry, Yoongi’s taking care of her.” He whispered softly and I felt my heart turn over in my chest at the reminder. I’d been forced to relent because Yoongi had taken her home to a fully finished and decorated nursery , a closet full of baby clothes for her son and nursing clothes for her. She had been bowled over and when I’d told her to think about the why of it…she’d given me a helpless sort of smile. . As far as she was concerned , Yoongi had been nothing but generous and kind… And she wasn’t going to say no to him because she couldn’t afford to..

“I… he promised me he’d let me see her. And the baby…every day. That was the deal.”

Jungkook laughed.

“I thought I made this clear . You don’t get to make deals with anyone because you belong to me. I get to decide what happens to you. Anytime. Anywhere. Do you need another demonstration , Elena?” His hand moved to my breast, groping the flesh, fingers rough and hard and I whimpered in pain.

“No..” I choked out , eyes widening in terror and he made quick work of the rest of the buttons on my blouse. Junkook hummed, kissing the back of my neck and slowly turning me around in his arms.

“Relax. You don’t have a job. How are you going to feed her and the kid? Yoongi isn’t like me. He doesn’t hold a lot of grudges. And for some reason he seems to have a hard on for your sister in law. He wants to marry her. ” He chuckled and I felt nausea bloom.

“No.. Don’t… Don’t do that to her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t know… She doesn’t have anything to do with this life.” I begged, heart racing at the thought of Jisoo, helpless and scared and alone with a baby , trapped with a fucking assassin. Yoongi killed for a living . That was his job. Jisoo was delicate and sensitive.

“She still needs to eat and live right? With what?  He’s feeling particularly generous so he’s taken her home . You don’t have to worry about them anymore… Isn’t that nice?” he smirked and I felt my throat go dry.

I clenched my fists, feeling my breath catch.

“The only person you need to worry about yourself is yourself. Isn’t that how you prefer it anyway? Beautiful selfish Elena who never gave a fuck about anyone but herself. Isn’t that who you truly are, angel?” He smiled.

“Not anyone…. Just you… I don’t give a fuck about you.” I said defiantly, staring right up at him.  

Jungkook stared at me and stepped closer, reaching out and running his fingers up and down my cheek. I flinched because he still held the lit cigarette.

“None at all?”  He asked curiously, lightly tapping on the end of the cigarette, and I flinched when the hot ash spilled onto my shoulder.

“Did that hurt, baby?” He whispered, leaning in and pressing the cigarette to my lips.” I’m sorry. Breathe in for me.” He stuck the cigarette into my mouth and I pulled away , coughing and disgusted.

I closed my eyes as his free hand went to my wrist, tugging me closer. I stiffened as he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me in till my face pressed against his chest, his body flush against mine, one hand moving back to stroke my back.

“I missed you. You’re terrible at pleasing me but I think…with a little bit of training, you can make me cum… ” He smirked. “ Let’s start with a blowjob, yeah?”

I stiffened.

“No.” I said softly and he smirked, pulling back.

“No?” He asked softly. . I felt my throat go dry in fear as I noticed the way his gaze shifted.   I bit my lips to stifle the pain as He carefully pressed the lit end of the cigarette right against the curve of my breast , pressing in for a couple of seconds and pulling away just before the skin began to singe. He glanced up at me, and I blinked through the tears, pain spreading all over my chest at the burn. That would leave a scar, I thought miserably.

“Wrong answer. Try again.” He whispered.

“Go to Hell.” I choked out.

I flinched when his fingers slipped up into my hair, gripping hard. My scalp burned, sharp and insistent and instinct made me grip his wrist, trying to get him off but it was impossible.

“Let me go..” I snapped, glaring at him. God, How I hated him.

“Was I your first??” He whispered, dragging me close enough that his lips brushed my ear. “ Never had a cock before? Was that why you were so fucking tight?”

I bit my lips, glaring at him, defiant and furious. Did Hoseok actually tell him? That two faced snake…. God , why did these fuckers never leave me alone?

“Seokjin hyung told me…Told me he was looking forward to breaking a virgin and that made me think….God, I was the first cock she ever had….” He hummed, looking infinitely pleased.

“Yes. And I got to say… I don’t know what the fuss is about. You couldn’t even make me cum.” I snapped and Jungkook grinned, grip tightening and the other hand moving to curl around my waist, squeezing hard.

“Did I make you bleed from between your legs Elena? Tell me I did….Cause that’s fucking hot. ” He whispered, voice low and gruff.

Jungkook, I thought vacantly, was a psychopath.

“Go to Lisa. Go fuck her and make her bleed if that’s what gets you off….  and leave me alone.” I whispered and he smiled, bending down pressing a kiss right where he’d burned my skin.

“I don’t need you to tell me that. She’s my fiancé. The woman I’m going to marry. And you know what that means? I actually give a shit whether she cums or not. And trust me she does. Multiple times. Sometimes so hard she passes out.”

“Or maybe she fakes it. Maybe she passes out because she can’t stand your touch either.” I shrugged. “ Because we all know that’s what she’s good at Jungkook. She faked her friendship with me , she’ll fake her loyalty to you.”

“Always got something smart to say, huh Elena? Let’s see how mouthy you get when I’m shoving my cock down your throat.”

I flinched when he pushed me, hard enough to send me sprawling on the floor. I caught myself with difficulty , throwing my hands out to keep my head from hitting the floor. I flinched at the pain that shot up my body, every inch throbbing because of how rough this fucker had been with me.

Ten days and the aftermath of that night still lingered on me.

And it was three in the morning  and I’d spent eight hours on my feet bussing tables , I was exhausted.

I closed my eyes, before pressing my palm against the floor, trying to pull myself up when I felt the press of his shoe at the base of my spine, pushing me down.

I whimpered in shock, my hands giving out and shoulder crashing down into the floor.

“Stay down for a second, baby.” He whispered and I exhaled.

I pressed my palm against the floor, head dropping on to the carpeted floor . I whimpered when I felt him crouch down, foot digging in harder into my back and I curled my fingers into the carpet to swallow the pained sound that bubbled up in my throat.

“I’m going to fuck you again. And this time I want you to do all the work.” Jungkook’s voice came from over me and I flinched. I considered the odds of me putting up a fight and actually winning. It was laughable. I wasn’t going to fight a force of nature. And that was what Jeon Jungkook was.

“ You can’t make me do anything Jungkook.” I whispered finally. “ You can hit me and rape me and kill me but you can’t make me do anything to you. You just have to live with that.”

His foot lifted off my spine and I felt hands on my arms, pulling me up till I was kneeling. I watched as he moved around to stand in front of me.

“Look at me.” He said carefully.” From now you only speak when I tell you to.”

“ Whatever.  Let’s get this over with so I can go see my sister and my nephew.“ I said shakily.

He sighed deeply at that, shaking his head.

“See, if it was upto me, I’d just put a bullet in both their heads. Cos at this point they’re just proving to be a nuisance.”

My blood turned to ice in my veins.

“ But,  Yoongi’s just getting to know your pretty little Jisoo…And he’s my favorite hyung. So I’m going to let her live. But, let’s not invade their privacy for a while.” He began unbuckling his belt and I felt nausea rise inside me.

“Jungkook?” The voice came from the door and I stiffened.  Jungkook groaned.

“Baby, what the fuck are you doing here?” He said gruffly, standing up and using his knee to push me out of the way roughly. I swore, gripping the edge of the table near me to steady myself before turning around to stare at the woman at the door.  I stumbled to my feet, still feeling a little out of it. I needed food. Before I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“You were supposed to come see me tonight. I went looking for you everywhere and I find you here about to get with some common whore?”  she shouted and I stiffened, glaring at her.

She stood framed in the doorway, staring at me for a second before letting her gaze wander all over the room. She stared at me, eyes taking in the unbuttoned blouse and I quickly moved to put the buttons back on.

“Did you fuck her?” She demanded angrily and Jungkook hummed.

“Since when did I owe you answers, angel?” He asked casually and I watched the woman’s eyes widen, before her brows furrowed in a frown.

“ So what, I can’t ask you who you’re with ?” She asked angrily and Jungkook groaned , kicking out at the nearest stand with enough force to send it toppling over the side, crashing to floor and breaking on impact. I stumbled, back, wrapping my arms around myself as he fairly growled.

“What the fuck is up with all you cunts today?” He demanded, glancing at me in distaste. “ I come back after busting my ass at work for ten entire days . I just needed to get my dick sucked and you two.” He shook his head, hand reaching into his jacket and I felt my eyes widen when he pulled his glock out, releasing the safety and loading the gun before pressing the muzzle right against her skull.

The woman whimpered, hands held up as he tapped the firearm against her.

“You. You don’t come anywhere near me unless I send for you. Is that clear?” He asked sharply and she nodded frantically, abject terror written all over her face.

He turned to me.

“And you. You’re coming with me.” He said quietly and I felt my eyes widen. I opened my mouth to protest but the girl at the door beat me to it.

“I think not…. You’re not taking her anywhere, Jungkook, I’ll-“ She began, reaching forward to grab him and Jungkook moved so quickly, I could barely blink.

The shot rang out , making me jump and I watched as she crumbled to the floor, crying out in pain. I stared in horror, watching the hole in her arm, spilling blood all over the floor and the hallway and my throat went completely dry,  staring at the girl on the floor and the blank, absolutely merciless look on his face.

“Just because I let you sit on my cock once in a while, doesn’t mean you get a say in how I live my life.” He said quietly, using his foot to prod her hip. He glanced at me and I felt my throat go dry as he pulled the glock back to reload it.

He aimed the gun right at me, eyes dark and heavy.

“Are you going to be good for me, baby? Or do you need a physical demonstration as well?” He tilted his head to where the girl was on the floor, pressing her palm against her arm.

“She’s  bleeding out.. “ I choked out. “ you need to get her help, Jungk-“

Another shot rang out and I jumped, heart in my throat as I tried to understand what had happened. It took me a second to realize that he hadn’t shot me. That he had fired at the ceiling.

“Answer the bloody question Elena.” He growled and I flinched, nodding.

“I… I’ll listen… Just…” I glanced back at the poor girl on the floor.” Get her some help.”

Jungkook smiled a little. He turned to the girl on the floor and shook his head.

“Get up baby. Go find Hoseok and get that patched up, yeah? And don’t provoke me the next time, yeah? ” He said casually and she stumbled to her feet, looking disoriented and scared as she moved out of the door.

“ And you. “ He glared at me. “Finish dressing up and follow me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are we going?” I asked nervously, fighting the instinct to just take off at a sprint, as we walked down the road to where his Mercedes was parked.

“My home. Where else?” He said casually and I stiffened.

“Jungkook-“

“Didn’t I tell you not to speak unless I ask you to, Elena? I’m jet lagged and angry. Trust me , you don’t want to piss me off now.” He said casually and I swallowed.

He opened the door for me, the polite gesture so at odds with what he was doing that my head began to throb.

But I climbed in nonetheless. I stayed quiet for the short ride to his apartment , eyes fixed straight ahead and Jungkook was quiet too. I was too exhausted to be scared, I thought despondently, my eyes drooping because of how long I’d been up. Glancing out the window, I watched the cars whizz by, people living their lives, completely unaware that almost all of them were merely tiny little gears in a machine run exclusively by men like Jungkook. That all their lives, spent working and earning and dying…it was all meaningless. They had no say in anything. People like Jungkook were the ones who got to shape the world to their liking. The ones who got to play God.

And Jungkook was definitely the closest to an omnipotent human I’d ever come across.

Powerful, untouchable and terrifying.

So perhaps, it was a little flattering, that I was the one thing he couldn’t get out of his head.

I glanced at him discreetly.

He was beautiful, I thought with a pang. One of the most beautiful men on this planet. Despite the years, his boyish charm was still right there on his face and he could slip on a plaid shirt , a white t shirt and stone wash jeans and pass off as an innocent college student. I stared at the taut jaw, the long column of his neck and the broad back. His biceps bulged when he gripped the steering when and my eyes lingered on the long fingers curled around the wheel.

I jumped when his hand moved to grip the stick shift , curling on the knob and yanking it back with force. I swallowed, thighs pressing together as my mind shifted to that night in Hoseok’s club. I hated myself for how often I relived it. And not always with disgust.

My fingers fell on the ring on his finger. His engagement ring, I thought with a pang. Lisa. Beautiful, wonderful Lisa who had been a dear friend . Once. For all her shortcomings I knew she loved the man who sat next to me. Cared deeply for him, even. Why else would she do this to me? She must have strong feelings for him , if  it had prompted her to throw away our friendship of over a decade.

“You’re cheating on her then.” I said quietly.  His reminder to not talk to him rang in my head but I couldn’t stop myself. He wasn’t a stranger. And that ring…the ring that promised to bind two people forever….. I’d worn it too. For him.

Jungkook didn’t reply, merely glancing at me in passing.

I sighed, looking at my knees, feeling my shoulders tremble a bit.

“Is she going to be there?” I asked quietly.

He exhaled sharply. I noticed the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“No.”  He said shortly.

“She lives with you right? You said we’re going home ….then where is she-“

“What is this, twenty fucking questions?” He snapped and I swallowed. “ I’m not taking you home to my fiancée Elena, do I look like a fucking idiot? “ He shook his head.

Before I could demand more answers, he was pulling over into a side alley. I watched as he carefully parked the car before stepping out.  Second later, he was coming around and opening the door.

I stared at him, gripping the hem of my blouse, tight. My stomach twisted into knots.

“Can’t you just let me go?” I whispered softly, pride forgotten in the wake of my tiredness. Jungkook stared at me, face eerily blank.

“Get out of the car.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Like it?” He asked softly and I stood on the threshold, taking in the lavishly decorated apartment on the top floor of the building. I noticed the portrait right up front, a large full sized photo of me and Jungkook from nearly a decade ago, wrapped around each other in a hug , showing off our engagement bands.

“What is this?”

“It was supposed to be your wedding gift. From me. I bought it for you. Nine years ago. Thought you should see it.” He said quietly.

I stayed perfectly still , as he wrapped his hands around me in a hug.

“Why did you leave me, Elena?” He asked quietly and I felt my throat go dry.

“Why do you still have this place? Get rid of it.” I snapped. He laughed at that , pulling away and turning me around till I stared at him.

“ Will you stay here, with me?” He asked softly and I froze.

“You’re out of your mind.” I said shortly.

He hummed.

“Possibly. But then, the problem is this. If I tell you , you can’t leave this place ever again….There’s not much you can do about it, right?” He said thoughtfully and I felt a sob building in my chest.

“I… Don’t.” I said shakily.

“You should see the bedroom. Come.”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist dragging me past the lavish couch and sofa, past a well kept bar onto a wide hallway dimly lit. He stopped at the second door on the right, reaching out to open the lock.  The room was plunged in darkness and I hesitated.

“Go on… After you, Mrs. Jeon.” He said softly . I could feel distaste creeping up my spine at the name, shivering a bit as I stepped into the darkness.

“Can you imagine, if we’d gotten married. This is what our first night together would be like…” He pressed against my back, arms coming around me , so gentle that I shivered.

“Jungkook…what are you doing?” I asked shakily.

“Shush…. “ He whispered, moving to unbutton my blouse again. I grabbed his wrists quickly.

“We aren’t married. I’m not your wife.” I said sharply and I felt him go still behind me.

“Shut your mouth and play along like a good girl.” He said quietly. He shook my hands off, moving to undo the buttons again.

Not sure what he expected, I stayed perfectly still as he hummed, pressing soft feather light kisses down my jaw and past my shoulders. His hands stroked up and down my arm as he laughed .

“Did you miss me Elena…..all these years…” He said quietly. “ Because I missed you. So much.”

He hugged me close, tight and hard.

“Are you scared?” He whispered, “ honey?”

“Oh, God…” I choked out, nausea rising up in my throat at the endearment.

“My wife…” He whispered, pressing a few more kisses against my skin before pushing me a bit towards the bed. “ Should I turn on the lights? I wanna see you.”

He nudged me towards the bed and my legs gave out when I hit the edge of it, legs turning to jelly as I sat on it, shaky and creeped out and terrified. Jungkook moved to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, a soft golden glow lighting up the bed .

“Look at you… so beautiful.” He whispered and I watched as he tugged off his shirt, before moving to his belt. He was watching me like I was something precious. Like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you doing?” I asked quietly and he smiled, running his fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest. He stopped at a large ornate tiger lily, inscribed right over his heart.

“Do you like it?” he said softly. “ I got this for you. My Elena…. As delicate as a lily and as brave as a tiger.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Either fuck me or let me go, I’m not here to talk about-“

He slapped me, so hard that my head whipped to the side, my face feeling like it had caught fire. I gasped, the pain spreading all over my jaw and I couldn’t quite grasp what had just happened. I pressed shaky fingers to the throbbing skin near my mouth, eyes watering at the sting.

“Didn’t I tell you to play along, angel?” He whispered sharply and I closed my eyes , shuddering.

Play along. Do it if you want to get out of here alive. ‘

Fucking psychopath.

“ It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” I whispered softly, glancing at him with teary eyes. He nodded.

“We’ll get one for you too. A wolf. With the initials JK on it…. Right here…” He lightly traced a path over my collarbone and I hoped to God, this was some sick fantasy. That he wasn’t seriously considering tattooing his initials on me.

“Strip for me baby… All of it. I want to see you.” He whispered and I hesitated just long enough to take a deep breath. I reached back, quickly undoing my bra clasp and pulling the fabric off.  I hooked my thumbs into my skirt and my panties, tugging both of them off me, swiftly. I dropped all of it on the floor next to the bed, before moving to kneel in the middle of the bed, staring at him with a smile that felt physically painful.

“I’m going to make you feel good, baby.” He whispered quietly, crawling over on top of me.

“Lay down for me.” He said, and I felt repulsed, as he kissed my lips, soft and gentle, pressing in till I was flat on my back, legs parted so he could lie in between.

It was so different from last time and somehow ten times worse.

Jungkook pressed kisses all over my face, whispering gentle words against my skin that felt like acid.

“So beautiful…. Mine. You were always mine Elena. Mine to touch and mine to break . Mine to love and mine to fuck.”

I stared as he loomed over, his face inches from mine, his gaze deceptively affectionate, his eyes warm and almost soft. I watched as he came closer, his lips closing over mine. Instinctively I kept my lips together but his fingers curled around my thigh, squeezing hard enough to make me whimper, lips parting . He pressed his tongue in then , licking into my mouth and I brought my hands up, instinctively wrapping around the bare skin of his shoulders and my body thrummed at the feeling of his muscles under my fingers.

Curiosity made me foolish, and I found myself tracing the hills and valleys of his skin, fascinated by the way the muscles flexed, every time he moved his arm.

“You like that? I worked hard on those…” He chuckled, watching me curl my fingers around his biceps. He was so… big. I moved my fingers up to the hardness of his chest, splaying my palm on his pecs and my fingers caught a hard little scar, almost perfectly round and deep.

“What is this…” I asked , curious my finger dipping into the healed skin and he hummed.

“Your father . He shot me when I was chasing his car down in Jeju Do. Foolish bastard. Thought he could outrun me.” He laughed .

I glanced at him, catching his eyes and the ebbing laughter , my heart twisting.

“Then why am I here? You hate my father. You killed my entire family. So why am I here, Jungkook?”  I asked foolishly, my heart breaking a bit and he hesitated.

“Because you’re mine.” He said simply.

I closed my eyes in despair.

“If this was our wedding night…. What would you say…?” He asked suddenly.

I stared at him, confused.

“What?”

“If we got married back then… When you were eighteen. And it was our first night together….. what would you say?”

I sighed.

“I’d ask you to ….to be gentle.” I whispered.

He nodded.

“Tell me , then.”

I stared at him, feeling helpless.

“Go on, Elena.” He said again.

“Jungkook…” I began but he shook his head.

“Ggukkie.” He said softly. “ Call me GGukkie… That’s what you used to call me …when we were young.”

I clenched my fists, on his chest, resisting the urge to push him off. That wouldn’t end well for me.

“GGukkie…” I whispered, finally, glancing up at him, licking my lips and parting them gently, eyes as wide as they could go, “ you know its my first time right?”

Jungkook’s eyes fairly danced at that and he hummed, leaning closer.

“Is it, baby?” He asked, reaching up to brush my hair away, fingers gentle on my face.

Get into it. Get into it and get it over with.

“You know it is…” I pouted, “ No one else can touch me. I’m yours , aren’t I GGukkie…”

He laughed, rubbing his nose against mine.

“That you are, kitten.”

Kitten? That’s a new one.

Shut up and stay in character , fuck.

I was so fucking screwed.

“ So… will you be gentle?” I whispered , “ I don’t want it to hurt.”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me rolling over and taking me with him till I was lying flat on top of him.

“Then how about this angel? You can ride me…. As slow and gentle as you like. Make yourself feel good on my cock, yeah….?”

I stared at him.

I’m gonna fuck you and you’re going to do all the work.

He’d played me like a fiddle.

“Well baby? Go on…. Take my pants off.”

I exhaled angrily, before moving down, to tug on his pants. He helped me take them off kicking off his boxer briefs as well.

That’s a beautiful dick. Objectively. Very pretty.

Shut the fuck up.

“ Get it wet for me baby….” He said softly. I glanced down at the hard length of it, jutting out of the small thatch of hair and felt my mouth go dry . Which would be counterproductive if I wanted to get it wet. So I swirled my tongue around my mouth, trying to get my mouth moist, before leaning down and carefully wrapping my lips around the head.

Fuck, he tastes good.

I shook my head a bit to clear the voice in my head, glancing up at him with my lips stretched around the soft pink head and he was looking right back at me, eyes heavy and dark .

“Go on baby, take more of it in, use your tongue…make me feel good.”

I closed my eyes, letting the spit coat the hard length of his cock, sinking down till the tip began to inch down my throat. I sucked lightly, running my tongues back and forth on whatever skin I could touch and it was like sucking a lollipop except the lollipop was thick enough to stretch my mouth wide and hit the back of my throat.

I felt his hand reach into my hair, gripping hard and I whimpered.

“Be gentle…” I whispered, pulling off and his eyebrows shot up , clearly in surprise . He stared at me for a second, as though considering my request and then his fingers loosened , threading through the strands soothingly.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered . I went back to sucking him off, somehow my natural tendency to work hard making me bob up and down, using my tongue and taking him as deep as I could. I felt a sick sort of satisfaction when he moaned in pleasure and for some damn reason I wanted to draw more sounds out of him.

This is a dream. Either that or you tripped over a pothole and fell into another dimension.

“ Are you wet ? Come here, so I can check….” Jungkook said softly and I pulled off moving up to straddle his hips. I flinched when he reached down, tracing my slit with carefully fingers before slipping in two. I tightened against the intrusion, still sore on the inside and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to my mouth.

“Suck…and get them nice and wet if you don’t want it to hurt.” He said quietly and I wrapped my lips around his fingers, letting my spit coat the slender digits.

When he pushed them back into me, the slide was easier , wetter and I gripped his shoulders, trying to relax around him. It felt foreign but also good… I felt good…

I stared down at him, the broad muscled body and the handsome face and for a crazy moment I imagine what it would have been, if I had married him. Would it have been this….this… weird pleasure that was somehow both painful and exhilarating at the same time. I bit my lips as he curled his fingers inside me, rubbing at some spot high up inside me that sent heat shooting straight up my spine, slick dripping out of me and onto the hard planes of his stomach like honey from a comb.

“Now sit on my cock.” He said quietly. I trembled, reaching down to lightly grip his cock, moving till the head lined up right against my slit or where I thought my slit was. Biting my lips, I lowered my body, feeling my body cleave to let him in, his cock pressing in and in and in.

My knees gave out and I slid down the length of him, the sudden, incredible fullness knocking the breath right out of me.

“ Fuck…baby….you alright?” He whispered and it messed with my head, the way he actually looked concerned and worried and I couldn’t take anymore of it.

“Please… Please… I just… I want to go home…” I whimpered, feeling full and stretched out, my thighs trembling and my insides wet and warm and somehow stuck between wanting more and wanting it to end.

Jungkook grunted, fingers curling over both my hips and lifting me lightly and with ease.

“Come on baby…. Ride me….” He whispered, “ Put your hands on my chest and roll your hips, up and down .”

I did as he said, one hand braced against his chest, the other gripping his shoulder as I tried to move on him but it was hopeless. I had no energy or inclination to do this and the pleasure was fast ebbing into frustration. Jungkook seemed to sense it because he growled.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking bad at this… Fine… Just lay there and let me use that stupid cunt of yours.” He snapped,  gripping my waist and folding his knees just enough to brace his feet on the bed. I gasped as I got lifted a bit , his cock slipping in impossibly deeper , the tip nudging close to my cervix , the lightest brush of it send sharp jolts of electric pain pleasure up my spine.

“Oh fuck,..” I breathed as he pistoned into me, hips hitting my ass with brutal force as he fucked up into me and I could only tremble, eyes fluttering shut, fingers going numb from how hard I was gripping him.

“You’re gonna cum today… I’m gonna make you cum on my cock…” He growled, reaching down and pressing his thumb against my clit, rubbing softly, slow circles that were almost gentle compared to the brutal pounding oh his hips and I felt my mouth go slack, wetness slipping out of my tongue and dripping down my chin because of how excruciatingly good it felt, having him so deep, pressing in against the edge of my womb and I and to press my palm, right up against my belly , stunned because of how my body seemed to open and shift to make room for him.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, right inside your womb, fuck…. Gonna carry my babies for me, right sweetheart? Gonna watch you get round and full with my seed , watch you drip milk all over me with those beautiful tits….fuck…”

The shock of his words sent me over the edge, my body clenching down on him as I came, my orgasm so strong that I felt like I was cramping up on the inside and I toppled forward onto him, landing on his chest and bouncing a bit. Jungkook grunted a little, wrapping both his arms around me, holding close as he fucked me right through the aftershocks, body stilling only when I stopped shuddering and I felt warm wetness spill inside me, so deep that I knew I would have to swallow three morning after pills after this, although I was on birth control.

Because one could never be too sure with these things.

Jungkook stayed still under me and it took me a few seconds to catch my breath. I finally levered myself off of him, legs shaking as I rolled over and onto the bed before breathing in huge lungfuls of air.

“Can I go?” I choked out.

Jungkook grunted. “ Get the fuck out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I stumbled out of the cab, exhausted and out of my mind with self loathing, I didn’t expect to see Hoseok sitting on the pavement outside the bakery, leaning against a streetlight, face warm but determined.

“Hobi?” I asked stunned. “ What are you-“

He cut me off with a kiss.

I stared wide eyed as he pulled me into an embrace, wrapping me in warmth and scent of his cologne, his hands impossibly gentle around me as he all but cradled me against his body, his lips moving gently against mine.

“Elena…” He breathed against my lips, eyes glinting . “ I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years. I’m so fucking sorry for being such a coward but you deserve to know… you deserve to know how I feel about you.”

I stared at him in disbelief, my heart pounding as I punched his chest in desperation.

“No… No fuck you… what are you doing…. He’ll kill you…” I hissed and he tightened his arms around me.

“I don’t care.” He hissed. “ I don’t… I can’t just… I can’t let him hurt you like this. I won’t. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him to let you go or lose our friendship.” He said angrily and I trembled.  

My heart raced because Hoseok was the only one I’d ever loved. In every way a girl could love a boy. He was and had always been this confusing breed of brother and friend while everyone had drooled after Jeon Jungkook , I’d always been drawn to him…drawn to his quiet strength and to the way he had always treated me as an equal…

But… but Jungkook…. Jungkook who would put a bullet in his brain without a thought if he thought that Hoseok was trying to move in on something that belonged to him…..

“Hoseok…just… Don’t. I… I love you too…” I breathed out, tired and scared and so fucking worried because what if someone was listening even now..what if word got to Jungkook and he tried to hurt ….i couldn’t even think it.

“Come find me when Jungkook is busy . When he can’t find us…” I said softly, reaching out and pressing my palm against his face.

“I’m not scared of him.” Hoseok growled  and it was ridiculous.  

“But I’m scared of losing you. “ I said quickly. “ We can’t… He can’t know. Ever.”

Hoseok nodded before pulling me close again.

“Was he too rough?” He whispered and I blinked, flushing. I shook my head.

“No.. I. No. I think…”

“I hate that he was the one to touch you, first. You.. You deserve to know how good it can be…. How gentle.. I want to… fuck…” He shook his head pulling away and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“We can’t…” I said quietly. “ you know we can’t.”

He glanced at me, eyes blazing and lips parted and I groaned.

“Don’t look at me like that Hobi…” I whispered, shaking my head.

“Tomorrow. He’s going to Jeju Do , to inspect a new resort. He won’t be back till the day after. Call in sick at work.” He said quietly and I bit my lips, feeling a bit like a whole idiot.

I nodded.

He reached forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

No self preservation skills at all, I thought miserably.  

If Jungkook found out…….

Author’s Note : I’ll add the taglist here tomorrow

[yoonpobs]

bodyguard | kth | m

pairing: kim taehyung x oc

genre: enemies to lovers, Bodyguard!AU but oc is the bodyguard, fluff?

warnings: eventual smut, sexual tension, light choking, suggestive content bc oc is a minx and so is tae, i'll add as the story progresses, kim taehyung as a rich kid

words: 2, 138

summary: you protect taehyung from people but forget about the biggest threat. yourself.

“You’re who Namjoon hired?”

You’re used to having bewildered expressions when they find out that you out of all other possible candidates was what your agency decided to provide clients with rather than an objectively more stereotypical option—the big man.

But you were here for a specific reason and you knew that your duty lied in your responsibility to the man in front of you, even if his expression of doubt irritates you.

“Yes, Mr Kim. My name is ____.” You bow your head slightly, hands held together by your pelvis as you stand with your back straight.

The man in front of you glances over at his assistant, who only shoots him a firm nod as if to tell him that he was in fact stuck with you, despite all the uncertainties he may have.

Frankly, when Seokjin first recruited you into the agency, you were merely meant to be in charge of off-field duties and act as intel for field agents, but few of your previous mentors recognised your potential and physical agility when it came to mandatory training and pushed for you to be trained as an official agent rather than a tech lady.

You were lucky that a few of your colleagues had long ditched the misogynistic mindset that women were biologically weaker than men and would serve as a liability to the agency, but there were still a few higher-ups that were traditional in every sense that stuck their noses in your business when Seokjin would assign you to high profile clients.

Kim Taehyung was no different, but you were sure he fell into the latter of the traditional man. He did come from a lineage of old money.

“But you’re a … woman.” He says slowly, eyeing you up and down.

Even the outfit you were in was far off the usual appearance that most bodyguards would take on the first day of work. A long dress with a maxi slit by your leg, which left little to imagine what lies beneath. You bite your tongue to keep the snarky remark down and nod your head tightly to your new boss.

“I best fit the requirements you listed out to my agency.” Is your simple response.

His assistant steps between the two of you before your boss can say anything else, and based on your observations you note that he probably is the rationale behind Kim Taehyung’s mind; the reasonable and objective one.

“I’ll show ____ around headquarters just so she’s aware of the layout.” His assistant says hastily.

You don’t miss the last look your boss gives you, and all you do is bow your head before you turn on your heels, pulling out the gun in your garter and hold it behind your back—ready for duty.

“Jesus fucking Christ, _____.”

You’re used to hearing Taehyung sneer at you. It was something that you needed to get used to when you first were hired for the job because while he was known as an icon, a genius behind his father’s legacy—he was still wholly immature in every sense of a man child.

“Yes, Mr Kim?” You say blandly, flipping through the brochure that was laying idly on his coffee table; clearly ignoring the glare he was shooting you as he wraps the robe tighter around his frame.

Before he can open his mouth to yell at you again, you see the silhouette of the woman that was previously occupying his bed scurry past by the two of you, offering a meek bow of her head towards Taehyung before she’s out the door.

Your eyes follow her uninterestedly until you hear the click of the door, signalling that she was out and gone.

“What is your problem? Is my sex life something you need to protect too?” Taehyung spits.

You skim your eyes over his frame and spot a few marks littered along the expanse of his neck before your eyes rest on his tightened expression; your own one remaining impassive.

“My duty is to ensure you’re safe.” You remind him.

He scoffs, running a hand through his tangled hair—a clear testament to what he was engaging in before you had shamelessly kicked the woman out, mid-progression.

“Hyunbi is harmless.” He sneers at you.

You note that his erratic behaviour was likely a symptom of being cock-blocked, so you hold your tongue and just level him with an unimpressed stare.

“Hyunbi is the heir to the Im group. Need I remind you that her father’s company is the one that threatens your stockholders?”

Frankly, you try to engage with Taehyung on business matters as little as you could because all you were here for was to protect him and ensure that his head wouldn’t be served on the plate of an assassin that was out to get him.

You scoff to yourself because men were truly blinded by their desires and he would’ve risked his family’s fortune because he wanted to get laid.

“Okay, and? She was about to suck my dick not steal intel to the company.” He scoffs.

You don’t say anything but drop the files you found in her purse as you were doing your much-needed background checks on the woman that was visiting on such short notice, especially given the fact that she managed to bypass the system on being on the list before she was sent up.

The moment the beautiful women stepped foot into the apartment, you knew something was off about her. It was intuition from years of training under your belt, but also a womanly instinct. An intuitive sense that told you that she was going to wreak havoc if she could, and it was your duty to prevent that from happening.

“What’s this?” He picks up the documents to skim over the contents.

You don’t say anything but keep your eyes focused on his expression when you see it morph from confusion to realisation and pure mortification.

“She was going to blackmail me?” He asks in a disbelieving tone.

You nod your head.

“And if I hadn’t intervened then she would have probably falsely claimed that she was carrying your child.”

Taehyung shoves the documents aside and rubs his hands across his face, releasing a grunt as he lays back into the expensive leather of his couch.

“I can’t even get laid.” He huffs.

You roll your eyes.

“Taehyung,” You call out to him sternly, and when he opens one eye to look at you, only then do you continue, “You need to be more careful with who you fraternise with. You’re the CEO of the biggest manufacturing company in Korea and that is bound to make you a target to competitors. I can’t be cross-checking every single person you come across because my job is to protect you from physical harm—not be your mother.”

He narrows his eyes at you, and you see the petulance skim the surface of his iris as he leans forward, ensuring that his gaze is kept on your blank expression.

“So, that’s it? I can’t fuck around with anyone? Just because of my position? That’s a load of bullshit ____.” He snaps.

You purse your lips and give him a pointed glare.

“Stop twisting my words. Fuck who you like but be smart about who you stick your dick into.” You tell him lowly.

“Then I might as well fuck you, right? You’re the only person I can trust.” He sneers, leaning closer to you.

Your eyes widen, and your stoic demeanour is interrupted with his blunt words.

While you couldn’t deny that your boss was undeniably attractive, and alluded major sex appeal—he was still your boss and you would never cross professional boundaries no matter how much your body betrayed you. Even the Taehyung’s banter got much more … explicit and flirty, you brushed it off as him being himself. But he’s never explicitly stated anything like that before.

When you realise you’re gaping at him, you quickly try to compose yourself but unfortunately for you, he immediately catches on your surprised expression and bathes in it.

He smirks at you, standing up to walk across to where you were sat and plops next to you, a bit too close for a boss to be to his bodyguard.

“I’m right, aren’t I? You said to be smart and fuck someone who won’t have anything against me.” He whispers into your ear and you try to stop the shivers that travel down your body.

Taehyung notices how tense you are and reaches an arm to trail down your neck, slowly and teasingly until it rests on your hipbone.

You curse yourself for wearing only a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, since it was meant to be your day off until you were made aware of Hyunbi’s visit.

“Watch your mouth, Kim Taehyung.” You grit.

He snorts but nuzzles his nose into the column of your neck, and you feel the hot breath fan across your skin.

“You’re not denying it. Does that mean you want me to fuck you? Nice and deep?” He whispers the words against your skin and you can’t help the involuntary clamp of your thighs.

Taehyung, even as dense as he is, picks up on your movement immediately and reaches his other hand to keep your thighs apart, large hand sprawled across your thigh and you marvel for a moment at how big his hands are.

“Bet I could fuck the uptightness out of you, sweets.”

“Did you forget that I know everything about you?” You hiss, attempting to sound threatening but that only causes Taehyung to grin wider.

“Ooo. I love it when you get bitchy with me.” He teases, rubbing a circle with his thumb on your inner thigh as you feel desire pool in your belly.

“You’re insufferable.” You huff and you hate the way you sound breathless.

“Did I ever tell you how much your bitchiness turns me on? Always dreamed of shutting you up with my cock.” He confesses against your cheek this time and your eyes widen comically, your own hand clamping over his one over your thigh.

As Taehyung momentarily gets distracted with mouthing at your ear, you come to your senses and realise that you’re becoming the pawn in his game.

You quickly flip him over, until he’s settled under you with your knees sprawled next to his thighs, pelvis’ nearly touching as he smirks at you.

“Listen, Kim,” You whisper, leaning down until your noses are touching and you can spot every freckle on his face. He leans up to chase your breath but you don’t allow him the satisfaction of caving in.

“You’d never be able to handle my pussy.” You grin at him.

His eyes darken, and you feel his hands rest tightly on your hip.

You straddle his thighs and lean in until you’re sure his cock feels your pussy against him through the barrier of his robe and your shorts.

“Try me.” He challenges, mirth dancing in his eyes.

“You know why?” You lean into his ear to whisper, and your hands trail down his chest slowly and seductively until they reach the opening of the robe where his pelvis is, touch teasing and suggestive, especially when his breath hitches.

“Why?” He attempts to grind up to you, blinded by his carnal desire.

“Because …” You bite his earlobe and hear the grunt he lets out, cock unmistakably hardening until your core.

“Once you fuck me, you’ll never be able to fuck any other pussy without wishing it was mine.” You say as you pepper kisses down his jaw, right up to his chin until your lips are hovering above his.

But as soon as he attempts to close the distance, you push yourself off of him and return to your stoic and professional stance.

“You have a meeting with your investors in twenty.”

Taehyung gapes at you, the outline of his cock clear against the thin material of his robe as he releases heavy breaths of want as he looks at you in disbelief.

“You can’t be serious.” He snaps.

You shrug your shoulders and cock your head to the clock behind him.

“Good luck getting ready, Kim.” You say with a final smirk, enjoying the fact that you had him frustrated and high.

“This isn’t the end, _____.” He says lowly.

“You better hurry up and hope you finish in less than twenty minutes.” You tease, and you see the tip of his ears burn.

“Maybe I’ll give it five.” You say, flipping your hair over your shoulder and making sure to add a little sway to your hips when you walk away.

You briefly hear a fuck being uttered when you open the door to leave, and you feel triumphant with what you left him with.

[vemuabhi]

Wish Over a Fountain

Hello this was inspired by @daonepiece art. I am linking it here (click) I had so much fun writing this. I hope you like it.

Crocodile X Reader

Word count : 3K

Warning: none. Its fluff

Likes/Votes, comments are really appreciated.

"I really want a boyfriend", you thought as you looked at the annoying couple walking on the street. Actually they weren't annoying but... you were just feeling grumpy at that moment.

You were sitting on the bench which was beside the fountain, in the park.

Remembering the myth that your friend told you about, you placed your hand in your pocket and took out a coin. Gripping the coin in your hand you walked towards the well. You closed your eyes tightly and wished.

'I want a responsible and a nice guy to be my boyfriend please', you thought before throwing the coin in the fountain.

A month passed by with absolutely nothing happening and you forgot about that fountain wish. But there was an arrival of a new boss, who apparently bought your company.

You sat down and opened your laptop. "Sir Crocodile", you typed and started to research who your boss was. As soon as you saw his pictures, your eyes opened wide. He was absolutely stunning. Very handsome.

You read about him and saw that he was a millionaire. 'I was living under a rock I guess', you thought as you read about him more.

On the day of arrival, everyone held bouquets and champagne. But you on the other hand, held the brown wooden box, which looked neat and classy.

The boss entered and everyone gave presents to him and he took them with a small smile, while he gave them to his secretary.

Hurriedly he went to his room as his secretary followed him with all the gifts in his hand.

Along with everyone you started to resume your work. Then unexpectedly, the phone on your desk rang. It was none other than the secretary who called you to come into the boss's cabin.

Nervously fiddling with your sleeves you entered the cabin of Sir Crocodile.

He had a the huge pile of gifts, yours included, beside his desk as he kept checking the paperwork. 'Already in work mode huh... must be a workaholic', you thought.

"I believe you are Y/N", he spoke and you took your attention position. He didn't even glance at you.

"Yes sir. Its me"

"Okay. I've already read most of the employees works and now Im thinking of speaking to you", he said as he looked into his drawer.

"Okay sir. So what can I do for you", you didn't know what the hell was going on or why he called you. Your palms started to sweat like crazy.

"I looked at yours and I found that...", he stopped and looked in another drawer. Trying to find something. The tension was going to roof level for you. But you maintain your calm.

"Sir, are you looking for something?", you asked as he looked at you for the first time.

"Ah, its nothing... I was just checking for my Cigar", he said running his hand through his hair.

"Oh. Pardon me sir. I think, you would like this", you said as you walked towards the gifts and took the brown wooden box in your hands, while his gaze stayed on you.

You turned towards him and gave him the box. He placed the paper in his hand down and took the box. He careful analysed it and opened it. It had cigars, which he liked.

He smiled as he looked at it. He took one cigar and thanked you. Placing the cigar in between his lips, he lit it using his golden coloured lighter. You didn't know if it was actual gold or not.

He looked at you again and said, "Like I was saying, I really liked your work" Giving you a peace of mind.

"Thankyou sir", you said with a smile.

"I want to ask you something", he took a puff and continued, "I want to know if there are any problematic clients. I wanna get rid of them as soon as possible", he ended.

"Oh. If you are asking about clients like that, we do have so many sir. Each group has some of them"

"Is that so... I want to you to, collect the list and get it to me", he ordered.

"Sure sir. I'll get you the list. So when do you want me to get it for you", you asked for which he replied with a simple tomorrow.

A few days passed and the new boss was actually wonderful. He got rid of the problematic clients and got new clients in their place. For which everyone was very grateful.

You slowly developed a crush on your handsome boss and tried to work harder taking him as the inspiration.

One night everyone left except for you. You wanted to finish the presentation and then leave. So you stayed back and made it. Little did you knew that the boss was also there.

"Y/N", you almost jumped up because of the sudden appearance of your boss beside you. He wasn't wearing his coat like usual, instead he had it over his shoulder as his fingers neatly held it from falling down. His hair which was usually set back, was now a bit messy. He was looking younger with his hair on his forehead. 'Damn. He is looking fine'

"Oh my! Sir you are here, I didn't know that", you said as you tried to calm your fast beating of your heart.

"Yeah. So... why are you still here? Its already 12", he said looking a bit worried as his fingers ran through his hair to set them back again like usual.

"What the hell?", you stopped admiring your boss. Looking at the time it was indeed 12. This means you missed your last train. The prices of cab are so high and you really hated to take a cab. Now as it was 12, the prices would make your wallet cry.

"Oh no... god", you sighed and slumped back in your chair.

"Why were you here?", he gained your attention once again.

"I was making this Presentation for tomorrow's meeting. So I kinda stayed back and worked on it", you showed him the file you were working on.

"You could have made it tomorrow", he said but he curiously leaned in to get a clear view of it. Looking at it carefully he placed his hand on the mouse to scroll calmly.

But you were freaking out. There was three reasons for that. One being what he'd say about your work, two that you had to sleep in the office and three him being close to you.

He was not touching you, had appropriate space, but still you could notice his cologne mixed with a slight sent of cigar. It felt... comforting and soothing for some reason.

"Y/N", his voice made you to come back to reality.

You looked at the screen. He pointed some mistakes which needed to be solved before presenting. You quickly realised what was wrong and began to correct it. He pulled a chair from the side and sat on it while you worked. He guided you on how to change some points.

Soon you two didn't even realise, but its already been an hour. After it was done he ruffled your hair and said, "Well done. I really like it".

"Thankyou for helping me sir", you blushed at his compliment. He got up from the chair and placed his coat on his hand.

"How are you going home?"

"I actually am thinking of staying in the office or else", you sighed and continued, "take a cab".

Both the options are horrible but the second was even more terrible.

He exhaled and said, "follow me", with that he started walking. You hurriedly got up and walked behind him.

"What happened sir. If you don't like it I'll not stay in the office", he suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at you.

"Its not because I don't like it. Its because its really uncomfortable to sleep here", he said and walked again.

"Then, I'll take a ca-"

"Just come with me", he interrupted you and you just followed him.

He walked towards his car and said, "come with me. You can stay at my house"

"Oh no. I don't want to be a burden"

"Your house if far. Thats why you are having second opinions about going in a cab. And its... really late. Its not that safe. So you are coming with me", he didn't even look at you and walked towards his car.

Yes he was right. You didn't want to take a cab home. And you didn't want to stay in office either.

You remember the last time you stayed there. The eerie silence made you half scared to death. But you still fell asleep. And saved money for cab.

You shook off those thoughts and went ahead and sat in the car. The car was well maintained. It looked like it was brand new. The jet black colour made it even more elegant while the golden coloured handles gave it a royal elegance. The seats were super comfy and the car was really cool.

There was absolutely no traffic and the ride was super smooth. The night lights seemed so beautiful. The ride was silent but it wasn't awkward. You looked out the window to see the beauty of the city. It was calm and seemed really pretty.

In 15 minutes, the car reached a high class building. The car was parked and you both got down. Crocodile lead you to a apartment door. He typed a number on the number lock and opened the door.

Entering the room you were met with a very elegant and beautiful house. The house was absolutely lovely. The tiles were cream colored and the walls were grey in color.

"Get in", he commanded and you obliged. As soon as you both got near the couch suddenly a big dog jumped on Crocodile. Crocodile chuckled as he started to pet the dog. That was beautiful. You thought it was a sight to see but then another dog came and then another... and another... and... in total there were 6 dogs.

6 dogs of totally different breeds just snuggled with crocodile. He patted every dog and then turned to look at you.

"Sorry to intrude sir but, I never knew you liked dogs", you said with a smile. His cheeks turned pink as he cleared his throat.

""You can use the 3rd room to sleep for the night", he said and you bowed.

'Was he flustered just now?', you thought as you went to the room assigned as crocodile kept the dogs busy, but a pug started to follow you.

You opened the door and saw that it was a huge room. It had the same grey Aesthetic to it but it was beautiful. The bed was neat and had white covers on it.

You removed your coat and hanged it on the coat hanger. You walked towards the curtain and opened it, only to see a stunning night view of the city.

The big door which was also a way to enter the balcony was very clean as if no one never touched it. Or someone cleaned it spot less. There was no way you could afford a place as beautiful and classy like this.

Then a bark made you to come back to reality. You turned and saw a small pug with big bright eyes staring at you. It was so adorable. You said hi to it and closed the curtains. You patted its head and then the dog left the room. You began to remove your belt and placed it on the desk beside the bed and plopped on the soft bed. It was so fluffy and amazing.

As soon as you closed your eyes, you fell asleep. The next morning, you woke up to something which felt like water on your cheeks. You opened your eyes to the same pug giving you morning kisses. Apparently you forgot to close the door and it came back. You chuckled and took him your arms. You looked at the time and it said it was 7am.

With the dog in your arms you left the room, only to find Crocodile on the couch with some dogs sleeping on him and other just roaming around the couch. He still was wearing the same clothes as yesterday as you.

You noticed how long and slender his legs were. The pug in your hands jumped and ran towards the couch and jumped onto Crocodile and slept on him.

You almost stopped a nosebleed because that was freaking adorable. Another dog started to lick crocodiles face and he woke up.

He woke up and patted its head lovingly. He turned his head to the side which faced you. His eyes opened wide with his cheeks turning 10X times red.

"Wha- What are you looking at? Go and get ready. We need to leave", he said which made you to run and do what he ordered.

You knew he said it because he was embarrassed as you saw him like that.

You quickly took a bath and again wore the same clothes before getting out.

You found Mr. Crocodile wearing a new suit and coat. With the dogs still playing around the house. You approached him and he looked at you and didn't say anything for few seconds. He actually thought you'd wear his clothes in the closet like the other people who come over. But you didn't.

But then instructed you to follow him. He took his keys and walked. Then suddenly the pug tugged on your jeans and you noticed it. You patted his head and waved bye to him. But as you were walking again it suddenly walked before you in a dangerous position. You managed yourself from stepping on the pug but you you couldn't help but to fall as now you lost your balence. You had your boss before you. He turned to look at you but it was too late.

You fell on top of him. You immediately got up and stuttered an apology.

He got up and dusted his suit but didn't scold you. "Its fine. Just be careful", he said as he walked towards the door and opened it. With a slight blush on his cheeks. You walked with him and towards the car and got into it.

"Not a word about what happened with the dogs", he said with his cheeks still pink.

"My lips are sealed", you said earning a sigh in return.

After reaching the office, your team gave the presentation of the project to your superiors and Sir Crocodile. Who already saw this already. But still listened to you.

The project was approved which really made your team very happy.

That evening your team went for celebrating the success of the project. You all drank, ate food and went home in a cab.

The next day, you woke up, with feeling the kisses of a dog on your cheek. You smiled and patted its head.

Looking at the room, it was the spacious and big bedroom in which you slept yesterday. Was yesterday repeating again? You didn't knew but you went to the living room to see if your boss was on the couch. He wasn't. So it wasn't yesterday.

"Maybe a dream", you thought and pinched your cheek very harshly. But the pain you felt was real and this was real. Why the hell did you again end up in your boss's apartment?

"Its not a dream you idiot", you heard a horse voice say to you.

Turning around you saw your boss in the coming to the living room with a coffee.

"Sir why am I in your house again?", you asked him as he approached you. The pug jumped from your hands and walked towards the couch.

Handing the cup to you, he sighed, "So you don't remember. Just like I thought", he said and walked towards the couch. You followed him.

"You were so drunk that, you called me, your boss instead of a cab and told me to pick you up from that bar", he ended.

'Should I dig a hole and die already?', you thought as you mentally slapped yourself.

"As your house was quite far away and I thought it would be best to bring you to here", he said sipping his coffee.

"Im really sorry for bothering you sir. Im so embarrassed", you said as you covered your face with your free hand.

"Just make sure that you won't drink till you lose your senses"

"Okay sir"

"Now drink the coffee before it gets cold"

"Thankyou", you said as you sipped the coffee.

You looked at the time and it was already 11 am. "OMG! Its already 11", you said but he calmly said, "Its Saturday"

You managed to embarrass yourself, Again...

But still, you received a smile from sir crocodile. It was enough for you.

Crocodile thought about the previous night when he carried you to his car as you spoke gibberish.

"You idiot. Don't ever drink like this. You are lucky because Im a good person", he said to you even though you didn't listen.

He was about to start the car then you said, "Hey man, I need to tell you something about my boss", you leaned closer to him.

He curiously listen to you on what you were about to say. "My boss he is so inspiring and is supportive of his employees. He is a good person", he smiled at what you said and you continued, "I have a crush on him and he has sexy legs. I don't know why I didn't notice them", you said and dosed off, leaving Crocodile blushing a red shade of crocodile. He leaned back in his seat and covered his face with one of his hands while the other stayed on the steering wheel.

"No one made me get flustered like you did", he said because he knew you were also sleeping.

Little did you know that the same day you wished for a boyfriend, he witnessed you wishing it.

XOXOXOXO

i hope you liked this. Crocodile fluff was so fun to write. I absolutely enjoyed writing for it.

Like/Vote, comment, Share/reblog if you like it.

Follow for more.

[sandayuswife]

Hello! First i want to say im so happy to found your acc since you're discussing the mentality state of the Kirigakure siblings, Sandayu and Hanzo too! 🤧

Sec, can i request you write a psychoanalysis on Genya? Hehe😊

I wish your studies more success!

@nich-u Thank you so much! <3 I'm glad that the content pleases you:) Since psychoanalyses base on mental health alone, I've decided to write a broader analysis this time. This is going to be VERY long, and so fun to write!

Fujibayashi Genya: Mental health & Personality Analysis

So, we'll start by taking a deep look into his childhood and mental health, and lastly analyze his personality using the five factor model and a few additional criteria. Let's begin :)

At the beginning of his route, Genya is introduced as a laid-back, lazy shinobi with inscrutable motives. Gradually, we figure more and more of his demeanor being a mask, which he uses both as a coping mechanism as well as means to keep his feelings and motivations behind a veil.

Later on, we find out that it was his love for Sakuya and death of their mother that has forced Genya to change drastically – which is where we will start our digging.

Childhood & Mental health

Judging from the small pieces of chapters in which we see the Fujibayashi twins and MC interact in the past, as well as Genya’s statements, it is clear that the twins were neglected, yet unlikely emotionally abused. Adding to the stability of their psyche in the earliest years was their close relationship, and thus ability to replace the emotional care they sought from their parents.

Coming to the first event that forces Genya to change - At a still very young age, he witnesses his mother's death during an attack on the village. Not only did she fall while protecting him, but also, those following were her last words:

Assuming that it was most likely Genya’s first time openly receiving emotional care from his mother, and that the chief did not seem to care about her death (simply disposed of the body, apparently), the causes of the event resulted in PSTD, which became chronic for the rest of his life (as it is a common occurrence with children).

A short time after that, we are shown that Genya proceeds to focus all of his care and attention on Sakuya: Trains with him, renounces his own needs to let his twin have more options, and even motivates MC to grow closer to Sakuya, although it was somewhere implied that he himself was 'drawn to her sunny smile'.

Being able to do so and direct positive energy at someone he loves has helped Genya to cope with the incident, although he could not tell a soul about his mother’s last words - The knowledge would hurt his twin, In Genya’s opinion. Having to speculate about such outcomes, think many steps ahead, keep his feelings behind a lock, and due to possible symptoms of PSTD, Genya has matured quickly; and it was more than visible in his behavior.

Next, we know that the Mitsuba have betrayed Fujibayashi village as the twins were approximately 10 years old. A while after that, they had to accomplish a special, long-term mission in order to become fully-pledged shinobi. Beside the fact that he himself has suffered from his own (disposing of bodies ‘as if they were worthless’), he noticed how much suffering Sakuya’s mission has caused his twin. He understood that his brother will only be able to cope with the trauma if he was to run from his feelings.

Being Sakuya’s ‘childhood hero’, as Sakuya himself has stated, Genya knew that if he were to express negative opinions and feelings toward the village, his twin would break his own resolve and agree with him. Thinking their fate unvoidable, Genya has made a choice to break their connection by being the opposite of what a shinobi should be, but still protect and support Sakuya from the shadows.

Personality

Now let’s take a look at Genya’s personality in general, since until now, we have been only focusing on his family.

I will be using the five factor model, which has a scoring system, to do so, although we have to keep in mind that his trauma and personal experiences play big roles in these traits:

1. Openness to experience

Low score. Genya prefers routine, and is wary of uncertainty and the unknown. I have mentioned at the beginning that Genya uses his laid-back lifestyle as a coping mechanism - Independence and space give him an opportunity to breathe. However, he generally does not run from his feelings and is well aware of who and what he cares about.

2. Conscientiousness

High score. He is aware of his actions and their consequences, and has a sense of responsibility, regardless of how much he claims not to do so. Genya exhibits goal-oriented behavior every time it truly matters (grumbling aside). His missions are organized and practically executed.

3. Extroversion

Mid score. Genya is an ambivert (neither an introvert nor extravert). He enjoys being alone, thinking and reflecting, just as much as he enjoys socializing and meeting new people.

4. Agreeableness

High score. Genya is co-operative, and willing to help others in times of need. He respects hardworking individuals, dislikes being involved in arguments, seeks internal and external state of peace. Levels of agreeableness tend to increase with age.

5. Neuroticism

Low score. Genya is able to remain calm in response to stressful situations, and view problems in proportion to their importance. As a result, he tends to worry about such problems to a lesser extent. Of course, this excludes extreme situations, like losing a loved one (in regard to his frustration in the route endings).

Since the model does not cover all that can be interpreted, let’s add a few more criteria:

6. Behavior

Genya tries to cover up many of his positive traits with a mask of a lazy, money-grubbing and disrespectful shinobi, as we all well know. Doing so leaves him more freedom, forces others to lower their expectations, and allows him to expectantly sidestep minor duties in case of an emergency. This, of, course, serves his goals and routines very well.

7. Morality

Genya has a deep understanding and a broad view of the world. He understands the role of each person, that every individual is shaped by the environment, and while he naturally opposes to being a shinobi, he does not proceed to immediately judge or dislike someone of his own kind, although doing otherwise would be a much easier task.

This could be explained by his world-view as well. He mentions that he is ‘like a bird in a cage’, and the same could most likely be said of all shinobi, in his opinion. Because he views the shadows as a place of grief, there is a chance he is less consumed by guilt for killing those who share his origins.

So, I've written a ton, and could write a ton more. There truly is so much more I could address, but I can always write a second part in case particular questions rise, so let me know:) Also, feel free to comment your opinion or something you would add!

Have a great day<3

-A

[sleepyboisinc]

soo,,, the secret au huh?

its a band au. its a fucking band au. im posting this super impulsively, and it has no editing i think so if there are any mistakes,,,, fuck it idc

also this ends in a sort of cliffhanger i was gonan write more but i got tired of writing and never got the motivation to again im sorry lul

this au isnt just by me, theres other ppl involved in it too!! mainly bad timezone gang in technohive but others also helped :)

anywaysyysyshdhsh yea read if u want to ig

wilbur soot was discovered by a record label when he was 15 after he wrote the squid song. they didn't care that the lyrics were objectively bad, it was wilbur’s voice that grabbed their attention. they interviewed him and decided that they were gonna give him a chance. wilbur, who had always dreamed of being a singer, jumped at the opportunity. the interview went very well. they even asked him to sing a few songs and he nailed it. however, he wasn’t perfect. he still needed some vocal training. they spent an entire day discussing and signing paperwork. the label ended up arranging for wilbur to attend music classes to enhance his voice and get better at the guitar.

time-skip about 3 years. wilbur is 18 and is phenomenal at singing and the guitar. he starts going to uni and meets his roommate, an american student named technoblade who plays the violin. wilbur and techno quickly become friends, bonding over music and other mutual interests like video games. techno plays mini gigs on the street and at bars close to campus to make some money for himself. particularly at a little bar called “the harpy’s nest”

one day, wilbur gets bored sitting at home alone, so he goes to watch techno’s gig. he arrives halfway through the set and watches for about 5 minutes. after the gig is over, he watches as techno interacts with the bartender, a young man only slightly older looking than the two of them. techno notices wilbur and calls him over, introducing him to the bartender, philza. the two immediately hit it off and by the end of the night, they’ve exchanged numbers and a promise to meet up phil’s next shift.

-

over the next few months, the trio became best friends. wilbur learns that phil plays the drums and has several eps. one ep in particular, “hardcore2” blew up a bit in their general area and phil gained a bit of traction as a musician. the three boys spend most of their time hanging out at wilbur and techno’s dorm, or at phil’s bar. they stay up till ungodly hours playing video games and talking. their other friends dub them the sleepy boys, because of how tired they all are the next day. 

however, as the months fly by, the date wilbur is supposed to finish training and write his first songs draws closer. he worries he’s bitten more than he can chew and he wonders if he’s even ready for fame. a month later he is assigned a manager, pete. pete says that his training contract has expired, meaning that he's ready to start writing his album. wilbur says that he needs to think a bit before he starts. pete was about to tell him he can’t have extra time to think because he signed a contract, but seeing the look of stress on wilbur’s face, he allows him 2 days before he starts. wilbur goes on a walk to think. he curses himself for second-guessing himself now. he realizes he doesn’t wanna do this alone. then he thinks of techno and phil. 

what if they formed a band? that way he wouldn’t have to do this alone. he’s sure that they'd love to make a band together as well. he goes to them and… they agree. he goes to pete and asks him if they can be a three-piece band. pete says he needs to ask his higher-ups first. wilbur doesn’t hear from pete for 4 days and starts to worry. what if they won’t allow it? it wasn't part of the agreement so they have every right to turn him down. at the end of the fourth day, pete calls him and says that the higher-ups have agreed. they had to choose a group name by the end of 2 days. the trio was over the moon.

this was the start of sleepy bois inc.

-

their record label wasn’t massive, so the boys took to playing on the streets and in bars to gain some traction. they slowly started gaining recognition and grew faster when they made a youtube channel. they released several eps and a few albums, and gained a following over the next few years.

their first big break came 3 years after the band was formed. they had a decent following, about 50k subs on youtube and slightly less on other platforms. one day, jschlatt from lunch club, a massive boy band, got their music recommended to him on youtube. he’s intrigued and listened to it, and was surprised at how much he liked it. he liked it so much, that he decided to shout them out on twitter. 

sleepybois inc’s popularity skyrocketed, and the members of both bands grew close. when lunch club announced their next tour, they revealed that sleepybois inc would open for them. the fans freak out, and many iconic moments and inside jokes form from this tour. 

-

tommy innit was 19 years old and was preparing to become a musician. he was almost done with the 4 years of vocal and keyboard training provided by a record label and had to make a decision: be a solo artist, or join a band. if he chose the band, he has another 2 options: be assigned into a band that already exists under this label or make a new one with people that he knows. 

tommy is also a massive fan of lunch club, and sees that jschlatt shouted out a band called sleepybois inc. he likes them a lot and becomes a fan of their stuff too. what tommy didn’t know is that they were at the same label he was training at and were open for a 4th member. 

back on the music, tommy ended up going with band. he debated between making a band or being assigned one. after a while, he ended up going with being assigned. he was nervous about this because he'd have to integrate himself into their dynamic and feared that fans won’t like him, but he figured it’d be easier than making his friends all learn instruments.

being assigned a band is a process, so tommy had a couple of months free. during this time, lunch club was on tour with sleepybois inc and tommy got vip tickets to a show. so he went to the meet and greet and gave his number to sleepybois inc saying ”hmu if u need a keyboardist lul” as a joke (this is a very important detail i will include it f u)

so come around the day of tommy getting assigned. he has to do auditions for the bands that the record label selected for him to join. management has narrowed it down to the youngest 2 bands at their label who are open for a member: one of which is sleepybois inc. 

-

it had been a month since tommy interviewed for sleepybois inc. he did pretty well at it, and had been talking to the boys a lot since then. he still hadn’t had news on whether he joined though. 

it was 3 am. tommy had been working on school work for hours and had only just managed to finish up for the night. he settled into bed and was about to fall asleep when his phone rang. not bothering to look at who was calling, tommy picked it up

“who the fuck is calling me at 3 in the morning i swear to god-” tommy whispered angrily. 

“tommy?” wilbur’s voice rang out “wait shit- this is probably a really bad time im sorry. but we have something important to tell you.”

tommy’s eyes widened. 

“we’ve decided that you can join the band”

-

the band and their label spent a few weeks discussing how they would go about this. they boys decided they would need a name change too, and ended up settling on the name ‘purple pandas’. however, a new member and a name change would practically transform the band completely, so they had to go about announcing this the right way.

they ended up settling on posting a youtube video titled ‘making some changes’. seeing the announcement for this sent fans into a frenzy, frantically tweeting about what it could be. many rumours spread fast and it even got into a few news articles. conspiracies started floating around about what changes could possibly be taking place.

-

i cant write this shit no more bye

[popculturebuffet]

Green Eggs and Ham: “Train” Review or A Little Better Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello you happy people and all aboard! We’re back on the Green Eggs and Ham Train for a Train themed episode. Train. As you can tell I like trains... admitely I don’t see enough episodes et on them and I don’t buy books or obess on them but I like the idea of a train, the comfort, the use of a mode of travel that was once common but is now simply used on occasion with the dawn of air travel, and it confining our heroes to a smaller space with limited room to move. it’s good stuff. I even tolerae the band train... I mean yes their music is okay at best, but the lyrics.. are wonderfully delightfully insane. Who else would use a garbage bag as a genuine romantic metaphor?

When last we left off things ere a bit ehhhhhhhhhhh: Sam went from delightfully quirky with some issues ot adress to annoying, and Michelle went from kin dof a bitch ot ENTIRELY THAT BITCH. Outside of Guy’s mental breakdown/heatstroke episode involving hallucinations of green eggs and ham, yes that did in fact happen, it wasn’t much to write home about and I worried the series simply had a good PILOT but the series itself wasn’t going to be fun sit through. 

If I was right or I was rilla.. will have to wait till after the cut. But first as always i’d like to thank the person who payed for this episode Emma Fici. Emma is one of my closest friends and one of two patreon patreons. If you’d like a reivew of your choice eveyr month guarnateed, then please hop over to patreon.com/popculturebuffet and back me at the 5 dollar level. You also get access to my exclusive discord where I ocasoinally post about work in progress stuff and tlak to my falns, to pick a short any time I do one and EXCLUSIVE review, as well as helping me hit my stretch goals. So line up, sign up then join me under the cut. 

So we pick up where we left off with Guy hurtling into a lake. Eh I dunno i’ve heard being naked ina  lake is pretty neat. 

All you’d have to do is take off the hat and your there. But Sam saves him wiht the weird train of hats he put at the end of the car for some reason, and our heroes are saved.. but down a vehicle. Oh and Sam’s vehiclular neglgence costs a bunch of fish their home.

And our heroes are without a car and Guys at the end of his rope with Sam.. I mean granted he’s been there since he met the guy but it’s down to like the tiniest thred, not helped by Sam casually stealing his wallet to pay for train tickets depsite Guy , UNDERSTANDABLY, not wanting to hang out with the guy who has stolen with him, gotten him implicate din animal trafficing and dosen’t really respect personal space. Also it’s taken me embarassingly long to remember Micheal Douglas played my boy Hank Pym in the Ant Man and the Wasp films. Seroiusly I don’t know HOW I forgot that, him being aged up and thus unable to do ANY of the things he is constnatly denied credit for in canon (Founding the avengers, being the first ant man.. and the first goliath and the first yellow jacket and the first giant man.. and the only doctor pym...).. but instead the film kept his troubled nature and ego, but removed the domestic abuse (which is something I will not go into but needless to say the comics version went above and beyond to try and make up for that and redeem himself soley because it was the right hting to do) and by making im older still gav ehim a roll as Scott’s mentor. What i’m getting at is I freaking love Hank Pym and I could’ve been making hank pym jokes for several episdoes now. That’s a mistake I itned to recitfy.. right away as Guy looses his suitcase as a result of it and whie he lcaims not to be bothered his voice says otherwise. Eh i’m sure the world can wait for ultron Guy. 

So anyway, Guy reluctantly agrees to the train travel idea and being parked across from Sam on the grounds he has no real other options. Meanwhile the BAD GUYZ.. and i’ve also decided to drop spoilers as the series is two years old, most people reading this have probably seen the series, and it makes analysis rough when I have to dance around spoilers. So yeah the BAD GUYZ aren’t villians.. kind of a dickhead on the blue guys part, but not EVIL. They figure out their going by train it’s a whole thing.

ON the train we run into michelle again...

Yeahhh for the first half she’s as inusfferable as she was the last two episodes and it lead me to believie the rest of the series was going to be constant suffering as she’d be in every episode, likely because they DID get Diane Keaton for this and you don’t waste Diane Keaton. You just don’t. But while they got their money’s worth in having her on screne wise they just..w asted her for the first 2 and a half episodes: Michelle is a judgemental, unpleasnt suffocating bitch and it’s going to take a lot , even if this episode helped, to make me truly like her as a person. 

Case in point her first two scenes this episode are just.. dragging her daughter past a play place uncarring about her feelings because while I DO get she cares about her child’s saftey and is terrified afte rloosing her husband.. it dosen’t EXCUSE her actions. It dosen’t forgive her locking her daughter up constanlty, not talking to her like a human being and oh yeah PUTTING A FUCKING LOCK ON HER SHE CAN CONTROL.  I mean my god I don’t think they INTENDED for her to come off as abusive as she does, and i’ve seen far worse inteitonally and untietionally, but it’s still not remotely plesant. There is a larger issue baked into that the episode brings about, but we’ll get to that. 

And naturally at breakfast.. she procedes to top herself. ONCE AGAIN she treats guy like trash as guy UNDERSTANDABLY didn’t want to talk to her after her previous layers of bullshit which, just as a refresher, involved insulting his invention constnatly (even if it turned out ot be dangerous she did not know that till the last second) then refusing to help a man BAKING in the desert and mocking him to his face. 

So yeah unsuprisingly instead of you know, APOLOGIZING for that episode or anything else she mocks him again and calls him sad. I just.. I get they were trying to have her come off as a jerk and then slowly develop.. but you can’t overdue the jerk part. It has to be juts the right amount and if it is this much there has to be a commpuance. There is none as far as I can tell because god is a spiteful two faced prick. 

So naturally Sam forces the two parties together, and orders green eggs and ham for everyone, except guy who refuses. We do get a really great bit though as EB turns down the idea and we get a tremendous rant from Micheal Douglas as he talks about how a girl in his clash, veyr likely just him, got a rash from tring new things and you shouldn’t and to watch out for the scarlet beetle he’ll steel your ants and try to conquer your planet and is not a guy in a costume but in fact an actual beetle. EB naturally tries it. 

We get a brief interlude with Snerz that’s funny enough: he outright calls his visotrs flunkies, they enter to the song money, and his minon throws dollar bills at their feet. I imagine this is what visitng Mar a Largo is like. They turn up his noses until he mentions getting a chickarffe for his animal crutelty wall. And i’m torn about Snerz. On one hand he can be generally entertaining in his dickery.. but ont he other I do question why he’s in EVERY episode. We don’t NEED him in eveyr one and I feel he’s only in them because Eddie Izzard was expensive so they had to get him as a regular to justify the cost. We really DONT’ need this scene funny as it is and it adds nothing so far. Maybe i’m wrong and these guys end up being important. I don’t know. 

So yeah so far this episode was miserable getting through and I expected it to be another long sit... I was wrong. The second half.. is really damn good and reminded me why I liked this series so much. No really. We get two stories,both really good following one half of each pair teaming up. As for why their split Guy is annoyed with Sam, as well as dosen’t want him letting the chickaraffe out because you know lots of people dosen’t want ot go to jail and leaves to find a quiet place to work on watching paint dry while Michelle tucks a sleeping EB in, her first really truly humanizing moment, which should NOT have taken three episodes but hey, i’ll take it, and goes to find the same.

So starting with Sam and EB, naturally Sam takes all of a minute to let his buddy out and it gets loose on top of the train. EB hears the familiar sound and gives chase and the two meet properly. After Sam covers for his buddy and realizes the creature is asleep in his car safe now, he properly talks to EB and we get a truly magical sequnece: The two talk with Sam whoelheartdly supporting her free spirit and finally giving the girl what she badly needed: someone who treated her not as something to be tied down but you know.. a child who just wants some expression and as she literally lets her hair down, It’s truly adorable and it just has a magical quanitity as they enjoy the beautiful view from the train top. 

Granted this takes at urn later when EB brings up her mom, and Sam.. supports her mom, pointing out she’s just looking out for her.. which she is but in a deeply unehalthy way and I don’t like the show just.. brushing over Michelle’s terrible actions because “she’s her mom”. But it’s also hard to tell if they are: Sam’s mom left him as we’ll find out, so he likely colors his memories of her rosey and simply envys EB still HAVING hers. It’s not BAD stuff but I don’t like a work saying “You should love your family just beacause your related”. Instead of because they lovea nd support you and if they dont’ love you or treat you remotely well or don’t give an ass about you fuck them. Thankfully I DO love my family and have no issues with them, my immediate family at least, but i’ve had friens with downright abusive or neglectful parents. It’s not that black and white. Ducktales also hammered in the family theme but was transparent in how it can me messy, harm each other and that it took true love and consideratoin for it to work at it’s core. 

It’s still not a terrible scene and what comes next is neat as earlier it was shown the train has loops, because Seussworld, and now that’s a problem because their on top of it. Michelle’s jail braclet thing ends up coming in handy the first loop, as while she can’t unstick it means she and sam can suririvie it. They do get it loose, turns out the password was indeed password, because of course, and they end up narrowly suriving a roller coaster bit of track, with the help of MR. Jenkins who I can finally name because EB names her in the next scene. Understanding her need for a pet, Sam deputizes her, and gets her back in bed in time for the next plot. 

Speaking of which winding back a bit as these two go back and forth, Guy goes through two rather hilarious cars: First a bath car that has a bubsby berkely style water number and then a model train car.. with the train on the track showing guy watching guy watchin gthe train etc. 

It’s great. Guy ends up finding the quiet car.. and Michelle. And in her first scene of acting like a human being and not if julie powers was a soccer mom, Michelle, while standosfish as usual, not only unites with guy to shush a loud guy in the car, but is genuinely apricative when Guy helps her get her place back, she was doing some literal bean counting. 

The two genuinely hit it off, first with some adorable silent bits and then by talking, with Michelle appreciating his now safer job and warming up to him. Keaton and Douglas have GENUINE chemestry and it annoys me itt took the series this long to use that instead of wasting Diane Keaton on being 

It’s really great stuff and i’m actually rooting for the two.. once she gets her shit together obviously. Guy does make the mistake of lying abotu knowing about the chikcaraffe.

This ends up being bad as he finds out EB knows the next day and after she leaves the car RIGHTFULLY tears the fuck into same for getting him accused of crime, stealing from him and now puttin ghim in a precarious situation. While Guy DID lie, he idd so well meaningly and trying to impress someone whose ineherntly judgmeental. Douglas also does REALY well in the scene, calling sam out but it dosen’t feel cruel.. it’s justified. While guy is miserable and does need to work on himself.. Sam also needs to work on himself and is putting guy in serious danger just by forcing him into his animal smuggling scheme. 

So Guy leaves.. and naturally given the unvierse hate shim runs into the BAD GUYZ, who aren’t much better. No really they refuse to belieive guy might be innocent, use excessive force on everyone. They have better GOALS than sam but I woudln’t really call them good people. Smash to black and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts:  This one was better. As I said the first half or rather third drags slightly but once we get to the two seperate plotlines it’s REALLY damn good stuff and reminded me what the series was capable of in character in creativity. Hopefully it keeps this up

Next Time on the Blog: We return to mewni for the penultimate chapter of season 3 as Moon and Eclipsa have some fundemtnal disgareemnts on how to handle Meteora that wind up costing both dearly. 

See you at the next rainbow

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Yayy! Despite trying to fight off a monster of a cold, I’ve got a new chapter written! :D

As I mentioned yesterday, this one is written from Logan’s POV because I’ve been wanting to create a back story for him in this story :) 

I’ll post the chapter under a line on here, but please check it out on Ao3 too! I love reading comments and stuff to find out what people think :)

Hope you like it!

Taglist: @psychedelicships  @edupunkn00b  @jwillowwolf @kacklingisanart @look-ma-im-on-tv @stardustlv @lost-in-thought-20

Chapter 5. My Heart Was Made Of Stone. And You Broke It Twice.

“But the wind has changed. My walls are weakening. They’re gonna fall soon. And I’m gonna need you.”

Logan was a man who always kept his emotions in check. He never let himself get too consumed by any kind of feeling. Happiness, sadness, love, hate, anger… Ever since he was sixteen, he refused to be vulnerable ever again. If you’re vulnerable, you can be broken. He had been broken far too many times when he was growing up.

His parents were agreeable, he couldn’t deny that… but he was never enough for them. Even as a young child, nothing was quite good enough. He remembered when the class teacher told his parents that he was the first child to learn how to write his name… he stretched up to show them and they let the paper flutter to the floor saying it wasn’t neat enough. He was only four! It got worse as he got older. Every time he was proud of something he had achieved, like getting a high grade, he was always asked why it wasn’t full marks. The unattainable goals were never reached and it took a lot to even vaguely satisfy them. He worked himself into the ground for the entirety of his school life, it affected his health, but they still weren’t happy. He was never strong enough, creative enough, serious enough, smart enough… and it hurt so much to know that. His friends however were amazing, they would always encourage him and make him take breaks when they knew he was working way too hard. They could always cheer him up and he was eternally grateful for that. Logan clenched his fists… he hated how much it knocked him down when he would walk in smiling over something that happened at school, to be told they weren’t interested and to just go and study. He always set himself up for the fall almost every day… no wonder emotions became such a hinderance. Luckily, music was his salvation for about eight years.

Logan took his head out of his hands, readjusted his eyes to the light and felt how raw they were from crying before staring at the dusty piano in the house intently. He used to be pretty good at playing. He loved his classical music, and still does. Just not playing it anymore. When he still had lessons, he was always thrilled with the challenge of increasingly difficult pieces given to him by his teacher. It was funny, his music teacher was the only person who ever truly believed in him. He was also the one person who could convince Logan to perform. The last concert he ever played in was the day before his sixteenth birthday, he played his most difficult piece to date… Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu Op 66. They decided on that because it was originally a piece that no one was ever supposed to hear, Chopin never wanted it to be released after he died… but they did it anyway. His teacher said that he could then perform it however he wanted to, artistic interpretation and all that. He practiced and practiced at school so his parents wouldn’t hear it before. When it got to the concert, and his parents actually turned up, he was genuinely surprised. He walked out on the stage and sat down looking for his teacher who gave him a smile and a thumbs up, then the music began. He felt almost like he was watching himself play, he had never played with such determination before and as the final note rung out… there was silence. Before the room broke out into applause, his teacher was standing up clapping vigorously, then some of his classmates and other parents stood up too. His parents however were sat down, clapping politely with a neutral expression on their faces and Logan’s smile faltered. He gave a quick bow and walked quickly off the stage. His teacher followed him and gave him a hug while telling him how proud he was. Logan couldn’t stop the tears, he had never cried in front of another person, but no one had ever been proud of him before either. How embarrassing. The first time he had been shown positive interest by someone he respected, and he cried until the top of their shirt was damp with his tears. His teacher just held him and told him everything was okay. After he had calmed down and the tears had stopped, he went to go and join his parents for the second half of the concert, but their seats were empty.

In that moment, he didn’t get upset again and stayed unusually calm, and he knew that this was the final straw. He stayed at a hotel for the night at the insistence of his teacher, that way he could sort out his head and start looking up different apartment options. Which he did realise could be tricky as a sixteen-year-old… but he was smart, reliable, didn’t drink or smoke and had a substantial amount of money at his disposal. He waited until the morning and snuck back into his parent’s house to collect all of the things that he deemed necessary. Thankfully, the hotel manager was understanding and let him stay for the bare minimum price until he could find an apartment for himself. It took a few months, and the landlord had to be persuaded by his music teacher, but he found an apartment which was close to everything he needed and was affordable. One day, he would repay that teacher back for everything he had done for him.

He looked at the calendar, the picture of him and Virgil smiling and holding up their wedding ring hands was taunting him on the wall. He noticed the date. Wow, it had been ten years since he left without looking back, and he never heard a single word from them.

That was clearly for the best.

Ever since then, he never let emotions get the better of him ever again. However, as he looked around at the decimated living room, he had clearly broken and let all of those emotions consume him once again. Logan inspected the damage, as he traced the hole in the wall, the shattered photo frames and glass covering the floor, it caused his heart to fill up with regret. His heart was already full of pain, the regret was enough to make his heart quite literally tear in two. Virgil was the first person he felt like he could be vulnerable with again. When they first met, there was something about him, something that reminded him of himself. Maybe this guy was just as broken as he was, as he saw him hiding in the corner of the coffee shop trying to stay away from the world. He told Virgil this many times, but he had encased his heart in stone to keep it safe. As their relationship developed, as stupid as it sounds, he could feel the stone wall cracking and breaking off piece by piece, and he honestly didn’t mind in the slightest.

Now, he didn’t know what was going on with his heart. He was hurt, he was angry. It’s not every day you find out that the man you’ve been married to for the last five years spent most of his life as a well-trained and dangerous assassin. Going by Virgil’s words alone, the body count to his name is staggering and who knows how many people he’s hurt over the years. The argument they had earlier in the evening was playing on repeat in his mind.

“I couldn’t tell you!” Virgil shouted across the room.

“Why the hell not?! I’m your fucking HUSBAND Virgil, you are supposed to trust me. No matter what’s happened in your past!” Logan rubbed his forehead in frustration.

“Okay, you want to know why I hid everything from you? I did it to PROTECT you! My past is something that can be used against me, it is still being used against me. If anyone from it came after you… I would never be able to forgive myself!” The tears wouldn’t stop rolling down Virgil’s face as he spluttered out the words while his body shook with sobs.

Despite the hurt of seeing Virgil in so much pain, Logan couldn’t contain his anger. “What makes you decide if I need protecting? I can handle myself, ever since I was sixteen I’ve been on my own… You know that!”

Virgil sighed, like he was debating whether or not to say his next sentence.

“Remember when we met all those years ago? You told me about how you were attacked and how scared you were after it? Well… it was me. I was the guy who saved you. Every day since that moment, I vowed that I would protect you no matter the cost. Then I fell in love with you along the way, and I’ll love you until the end of time. If you want to know the truth about me, I know he gave you something. Look at it, and I won’t blame you if you try to turn me in to the police afterwards. I have to go now though, otherwise you will get hurt… I’m sorry, Lo.” Logan was left dumbfounded, and Virgil ran out of the front door, slipping away into the night.

There had been so many lies and too many secrets. He remembered that USB stick he threw in a drawer months ago. He opened it up and stared at the blue object, the label that read ‘Virgil… ?’ taunted him mercilessly. He looked over at his open laptop that was spared from his destructive anger, should he look at it?

Logan shook that thought away instantly, he needed to clear up first before making any kind of decision. He crouched down on the floor and started to sweep the glass over towards the sofa with his hand, just so he could clean it properly soon. He got to the first photograph, him and Virgil sitting in a restaurant holding hands and smiling at the camera. That picture was taken by Thomas and Nico, their two closest friends… He thought he should text them and see if they could come over. Virgil left half an hour ago, and he already felt too alone.

He’d contact them later, but for now. He wanted to stare at photographs and revel in his memories.

[astralaffairs]

Secret agent Laf invites Thomas over for a drink. He puts something in it, but after a few sips, he realizes he has the wrong cup. Lafayette ends up going to sleep on the couch and Thomas stays to make sure he's okay because that's what friends do.

i made a slight prompt edit for plot convenience and also bc if laf tries to kill thom at LAF'S own place there's no plausible deniability (smh don't yall know how to commit crimes???)

-----

"Hey, what can I get you a glass of?" Thomas glanced back to where Lafayette stood approaching his kitchen as he went to lock his own apartment door behind him. Lafayette shrugged.

"I brought a bottle of my own, mon amie. May I pour you a drink?" Thomas raised an eyebrow as he went to join Lafayette, and he pulled down two glasses for the both of them. "It only seems fair, given zat you 'ave been willing to 'ave me over for ze evening."

Thomas responded with a lopsided grin, saying, "Now, you're bein' just a bit too generous for my taste. What're you plottin'?"

Lafayette's laugh at his words was almost too natural, the amiable look in his eyes more calculated than warm, but Thomas was far too cheerful to notice. "By ze time you find out, it may already be too late."

"Now you're sure keepin' me on my toes." They shared an entertained glance as Lafayette withdrew a bottle of whiskey from his man-purse satchel. Thomas raised an eyebrow. "Really brought the good stuff, huh?"

"Only ze best for my gracious host."

"You spoil me." Thomas picked up one of the empty glasses to bring with him to the refrigerator, but he glanced back at Lafayette first. "You gonna want any ice?"

"And dilute ze taste of zis? You mock me, Thomas."

"Your funeral," he chuckled, bringing one of the glasses with him to the ice dispenser. "'S always better cold."

"I 'ave reason to believe I will survive." Lafayette's gaze flickered toward the hallway to Thomas's bedroom for only a moment, and he turned to him. "Is zere any chance zat you 'ave a phone charger zat I can borrow?"

"Oh, yeah, 'course." He turned back to Lafayette, leaving his glass half-full of ice on the counter beside the other. "'S back in my room; gimme a minute to go grab it."

Lafayette's smile was all but foreboding. "Please, take your time."

His eyes were trained on Thomas's retreating form until he disappeared around the corner into the hall, and without a moment of hesitation, he tucked a hand into the pocket of his jeans, withdrawing just two small, white pills. He'd decided to keep on the side of caution -- Thomas wasn't what you'd call a small person, and the odds of just one not quite doing the trick were far from nonexistent. Besides, as many hoops as he may have had to jump through to get just one pill in the states, with the amount of time he spent abroad, getting his hands on just a bit of rohypnol was no ordeal.

He uncapped the whiskey first, taking care to make sure the cups both had enough liquid for him to be able to dissolve the pills in Thomas's. The discrepancy may not necessarily have raised eyebrows, but he wasn't one to leave things to chance.

By then, Lafayette was feeling beyond smug. It may have taken him months to finally get to a point where Thomas was vulnerable enough to take out and make it look like an accident, but as he watched the small tablets begin to dissolve in the amber whiskey, giving the other man's glass a swirl, a small smile spread across his lips, and the ice settled atop the pills at the cup's base.

He reached back to the bottle of whiskey, about to cap it, but nearly knocked it over when he heard the door to the penthouse swing open behind him. He whirled around with wide eyes to see Y/N entering, nose buried in her phone as the door fell shut behind her.

"Hey, Thomas? You home? I know I should've called, but--" She cut herself off when she saw Lafayette standing in the kitchen, though she didn't comprehend the panic in his gaze, and the corners of her lips quirked. "Lafayette, hey, what are you doing here?"

"Oh! I... um... came to Thomas for advice," he said, his voice not even unsteady with the lie. He plastered on a smile with no hesitation. "I did not know zat you would be over."

"Yeah, I didn't tell Thomas I was coming. He gave me a key a couple weeks ago, so I figured it'd be fine to let myself in." She couldn't help but notice the apprehension in his tense shoulders, though, and she creased her brow. "I can go, though, if you--"

"Non, stay! I am sure 'e will not mind ze company."

"If he's not kicking me out, I'm staying." Lafayette couldn't help but sigh at how earnest the look in her eyes was as she approached him, curiosity growing in her smile. "You brought whiskey?"

She reached for the glass with ice as she shook off her jacket, and Lafayette inhaled sharply, pulling it away from her. "Oh! Oui... I did."

Her stare was beyond suspicious as she set her coat down onto the kitchen counter. "... Can I have some?"

"Of course, chérie. 'Ave zis." He moved the glass she'd tried to take as far from her as possible, instead sliding her the cup he'd poured for himself.

"Thanks." She took a sip, eyeing him dubiously, but she didn't question him further. She'd long since found that Lafayette had a number of weird ticks, after all the strange situations she'd run across him in over the past few years. Maybe he just really wanted the ice; who was she to judge? "Anyway, what's the occasion for the whiskey? Or is it just a gift for the host?"

She raised her eyebrows, taking another sip as he leaned against the counter. He wore a small smile as he shrugged. "I supposed it would be only right to bring something for Thomas, as he so graciously agreed to 'ave me over for a while."

"Mhm, and that's why you haven't even poured him a glass of whiskey?" His eyes widened as she joined him on his side of the counter, picking a third glass from Thomas's shelf and filling it with ice.

"I meant to! I was just... distracted, of course, when you came in," he said, and she laughed at the growing anxiety in his voice.

"Don't worry; I'm not gonna rat you out." His heart rate was beginning to pick up as she unscrewed the cap from the whiskey he'd brought over. "I'll get him a glass; your secret is safe with me."

He had to force a smile when Y/N sent him a playful wink, pouring out the drink into a third and final glass. "My savior," he said, and though there was jest in his tone, his voice was noticeably shaking. Y/N raised an eyebrow.

"You okay?"

"Oui, of course. I am just... tired. I 'ave not been getting enough sleep recently."

Yet again, she just nodded along, his snowballing lies not even giving her pause. "Yeah, I get that. That's how working in government is, right? Thomas complains to me about it all the time."

"What do I complain about?" Thomas re-emerged at that moment with a phone charger and an expectant stare, eyes darting from Y/N to Lafayette, and she grinned.

"Thomas, hey! Lafayette got you a drink." Before Lafayette could get even a syllable in, Y/N had met Thomas where he stood, handing him the glass she'd poured. Which left him with the final glass he'd poured, on the rocks and roofied. He swallowed hard, staring down into the depths of the glass, almost as though he could still see the just-dissolved rohypnol swirling alongside the ice. "We were just talking about how stressful both your jobs are. Lafayette's getting sleep-deprived."

"Oh, yeah?" Thomas frowned as he walked up to stand beside Y/N, a hand resting casually at her waist. "You should've come over earlier; don't wanna keep you up any later than you need to be."

"Nonsense. I would much rather spend zis time with ze both of you." Y/N let out a soft 'aw' at his words, leaning into Thomas's side as she took a sip of her drink. Lafayette eyed the pair of them tentatively, gaze growing more unsavory by the moment. "Although, I cannot say I was aware zat Y/N would be joining us."

Thomas raised an eyebrow, pulling back to look down at her curiously. "Yeah, I didn't know you were comin' over either. Somethin' up?"

Y/N just shrugged, breaking his gaze as her smile grew despite her best efforts to suppress it. "I just wanted to come spend time with you. Is that a crime?"

"'Course not, sweetheart. 'M always glad to see you." She rolled her eyes when he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, but there was no real annoyance behind her expression as heat rose in her neck. "Hope it doesn't bother you that she's here, though, Laf."

"Absolutely not. Y/N is always a welcome guest." The warmth in his stare as he looked down at her was as genuine as he'd been all evening, and she was all but beaming back at him as he absentmindedly took a sip of his drink.

Y/N let out a soft hum of appreciation. "The two of you are too good to me. Feel like I could show up in the middle of you robbing a bank and you'd still take me out to lunch after."

Thomas laughed, but Lafayette didn't exactly seem enamored with the analogy. "Sure, 'cause you'd pout all evenin' if we just ignored you there."

"Hey! I so would not!" she defended  shoving his side, and he squeezed the side of her hip with the hand still holding her to him.

"'Aw, Thomas, you got all that money from robbing that bank and you won't even take me out? Why don't you even care about me at all?" he mocked, the pitch of his voice rising an octave or two, and Y/N only huffed.

"See what I put up with, Laf?" she said, turning back to the other man with contrived annoyance in her frown. Lafayette cocked a brow.

"You know, if you are zat fed up with 'im, I am sure zat you would 'ave no problem finding other options." About all of his focus had shifted to Y/N and Thomas by then, how close they were standing, how nonchalantly intimate they were acting, and though his eyes shone with mirth, his jaw was set as he took another sip of his whiskey.

"Oh yeah?" She grinned. "Is that just a compliment or is it an offer? Because I'm pretty sure I heard both somewhere in there."

"Now what is wrong with ze idea of it being both?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and she bit her lip.

"Thomas, I hope you're hearing that you've got some competition, now." She prodded the man in question in the side, but he didn't seem all too ruffled by Lafayette's words. "Better start treating me right."

"Aw, 'cause I'm so bad to you now?"

"Exactly."

Thomas rolled his eyes, bringing his glass to his lips, and Lafayette pursed his lips.

"I am only joking. You must know zat I would never mean to come between ze two of you."

"We know, Laf. Don't worry." Y/N could see Lafayette's jaw soften at her demure smile, but she pursed her lips mischief in her eyes as she added. "But I know I wouldn't mind having you between us, if you catch my drift."

The wink that followed her words left Lafayette balking, almost unable to believe his ears, and Thomas chuckled. "You're trouble, huh, Sweetheart?"

"Only for you."

They both ignored Lafayette's wide eyes, how stunned he still looked as Thomas turned to address him. "Wanna come sit? Feel like I'm not bein' a great host, makin' you both stand here in my kitchen."

"Fine by me." Y/N answered for both of them, and when they sank into the couches in his living room, she lay with her head against Thomas's shoulder, just below where he'd extended one arm to rest along the back of the couch, and when Lafayette joined them just moment later, he raised a brow when her legs settled into his lap.

She grinned when she met his amused stare. "What? You don't mind, do you?"

He took another sip of his drink to hide the broadening smile he wore. "Of course not, chérie."

The night continued on just the same from there, the three of them chatting all-but mindlessly, interspersed with Y/N's less-than occasional jabs at Lafayette. He didn't seem to mind; though, that may have been a function of how tired he quickly seemed to be growing. Of course, both Y/N and Thomas empathized with him on it -- demanding careers weren't exactly few and far in between when it came to working in Washington, so it was only natural that his lack of rest had him out like a light.

They were almost surprised at how heavy a sleeper he was, though. Y/N and Thomas stayed laying around for nearly another hour, but when they moved, they tried to wake him up so he'd be able to go back across the hall to his own penthouse -- no such luck.

Y/N's conclusion was that it must've been because of how quickly he'd finished his drink. It was on ice, and all, but with whiskey that strong, the fatigue was slowly beginning to set into her limbs as well.

"Should we at least get him a blanket and a pillow?" Y/N stood leaning on the back of the couch. She and Thomas had finally managed to separate themselves from his couch cushions, and Thomas had just pulled Lafayette up so he was laying across it on his side. (Putting him on his back seemed like a recipe for disaster; he hadn't been anywhere past tipsy, but one could never be too careful. Waking up at 4 AM to give Lafayette the Heimlich as he choked on his own puke was neither of their idea of a good time.)

"Good thinkin', sweetheart." Thomas walked back around the couch to her, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind as she looked back at him with a smile. "You wanna get to sleep, too?"

She sighed, turning around in his grasp to face him. "Well, that wasn't quite what I had in mind when I came over, but I'm too tired for anything else by now."

Thomas's laugh was soft as he kissed her forehead, brushing a piece of hair from her cheek. "I kinda figured. Lemme get Lafayette set up, and I'll come to bed with you, okay?"

"Okay, T." The words were soft, almost slurred as fatigue ebbed into her voice, and she pulled him down to kiss her properly. "'S nice of you to take care of Laf like this. You're a good friend," she murmured against his lips, and he shrugged, wearing a soft smile.

"Hey, he'd do the same for me. Can't just leave him hangin'."

"Doesn't make it any less thoughtful." She loosened her arms where she'd wrapped them around the back of his neck, dropping back down from where she'd pushed herself onto her toes. "Join me in a few?" she asked, sliding out of his grasp and padding down the hall toward his bedroom.

"Of course, sweetheart." He eyed her as she left, his smile growing more and more mischievous with each step she took. "But if you're spendin' the night, you'd better not have anywhere to be in the mornin'."

"Oh, yeah?" She glanced back at him, eyes shining. "Are you planning to keep me busy?"

He winked. "Once I get Lafayette outta here, you're booked for the rest of the day."