#me nodding and saying nothing

[baladric]

well the good news is that today i instigated a necessary conflict, walked into it w my chin up and then got to learn that i've healed enough that i no longer dissociate instantly when a voice is raised at me and can remain not only coherent, but rational and well-spoken and verbally calm. the bad news is we solved nothing, but at least my roommates are now aware that there's a very strong likelihood they're gonna be stuck paying the rent on this place for the full term of our original lease.

[hawkeyeslaughter]

girl not to start anything and i don’t want y’all to take this the wrong way but . i don’t see the hawkahy at all like with most ships even if i don’t like / ship it personally i at least see the chemistry but with hawkahy i just don’t 😭

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[sqlmn]

Local man who survives by identifying smells dragged into a candle store and promptly suffers. (I got so lazy in the end on the last part sorry it's very not accurate heights and stuff)

[introspectivememories]

literally can't stop thinking about mafia!bernard and police informant!tim

it got too long for the tags

bear's in the mafia for whatever reason

and tim is part of a police team called idfk the bats

anyway bear's mafia is getting too big and they need sm1 on the inside. enter tim.

tim is a police legacy. his dad was a policeman and so was his father's father and on it goes

and he might've made it onto captain wayne's team but he's desperate to prove to the force that he's not a fuckin nepo baby

so he takes the job. enter bernard who only meets tim after he's been on the mission for a year now.

bear quickly takes a liking to this new recruit who's efficient and smart and has the tiniest waist he's ever seen.

and tim goes along with this liking cause hey information from the top will be more valuable right?

and they fall into this fuckbuddies relationship that quickly becomes way more. because like fuck bear looks at tim like he's worth smth

like he's more than what his parents have set out for him. like he's somebody. like he loves tim for tim. and not for what tim can do for him.

and fuck he loves bear and his smiles. the way his eyes crinkle and his gums show. he loves the way bear looks with a gun in his hands and he knows that's fucked up but the first time he saw bear with a gun in his hands and blood splattered across his face he had to actively stop himself from jumping bear in front of the mafia. and no matter how rough bear is when he's on the field he always caresses tim's cheeks with a softness tim didn't know was possible

and fuck his dick is massive and it's really not helping tim's feelings. and he knows he's compromised and fuck cpt. wayne probs knows too

but shit bear holds him like he's precious. bear looks at him like he loves him. bear twines their bodies together like he'll die if they part

bear whispers sweet nothings into his ears as they fall asleep and it'll break him when he has to give bear up but he's always been selfish

he'll keep this for as long as he can. (please lord let him have this.)

and on bear's end he really only becomes interested in this new recruit when he watches the boy deliver 10 backhanded compliments in a row

and nobody pick up on it. it takes 3 months before bear figures out that tim's a spy and still he keeps seeing him

bc it doesn't matter that tim'll be his downfall. it doesnt matter that tim doesnt really love him or care about him. that it's only a mission for tim bc tim is the best thing bear's life.

he is the sun to bear's moon. the first word on his lips when he wakes up and the last when he goes to sleep.

and he loves every version of tim -- when he's caustic and biting, when he's blissed out in bed covered in the marks bernard left, when he's laughing, when he's crying

every version on tim is a version he likes. and one of these days, his pretty bird is going to have to leave their nest but at least bear can hold tim until then

at least bear can press promises into his thighs. at least he can whisper his devotion into the crook of tim's neck. at least he can leave marks on tim -- lovebites on his neck, handprints on his thighs and hips -- a tapestry that says "i was here. and i loved him. i love him and i am here."

but until that day comes, bear will work on quitting smoking and turning his favorite safehouse into a home for them.

(please lord, just let him have this. just let him have tim.)

[mejomonster]

I'm only in ep 14 I'm so soft about fang xiaobao though. ;-; li lianhua simply. Switches to that as soon as he realizes. I want to see fang duobing make a mention of it

[wren-likethe-bird]

wren rambles about the borderlands movie in tags

[rugretti]

.

[rottingfacade]

my roommate thinks that I don’t deserve privacy just because I don’t have my own room, he can’t take the hint from me sleeping on the couch or staying in the garage bathroom, he has to provoke and invade me every moment he isn’t busy, but if I try to actually have a conversation he just ignores me

[piplupod]

how does one converse with someone who has no hobbies except "being on the computer" and is weirdly cagey about what they do on the computer 🧍

[bo0zey]

Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening

OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.

sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.

i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .

[bumblingbabooshka]

I think Tuvok and Neelix should have become riddle buddies. Like they’re just always tossing riddles back and forth idly when they see each other (Tuvok’s are surprisingly easy if you’re knowledgeable in the subject they’re about - Neelix’s are easy for everyone who isn’t Tuvok.) 

[the-casbah-way]

i know that being hyperaware of how weird and awkward i am only makes me act more weird and awkward but. i cannot stop

[localcryptideli]

.

[drowsyanddazed]

pub quiz nights when they do the music category is fun bc all my friends get the top40 and i get the simon & garfunkel questions

[gracebethartacc]

considering possiblyyyyy including the rest of the 7 teens in the rewrite in some capacity but like not as ashas friends but not as background characters either bc I wanna keep them as a group to some extent but not like acquaintances yk?? If that makes sense? my idea is maybe they can also work in the castle like dahlia does bc iirc shes the only one who directly works there but everyone else just kinda either bummed around or helped her out but that was kinda it?? So I’m considering maybe I could make them work in other parts of the castle so like I said they can be considered a group/collective bc they work in the same place but don’t actually hang out or anything ? But yeah idk shrugs it’s felt a bit odd for me to straight up have them not in it at all bc making them just bg characters feels weird bc aforementioned Simon and dahlia being ashas friends would be kinda out of place/pointless reference wise if you didn’t have all the dwarfs together in some form or fashion

so uhhhhh reason I’m making this post at all is bc I’d love to have any suggestions for like their jobs or thing they do etc

also yes this is just an excuse to include bazima bc I love her but won’t fit in the current group dynamic /hj