#me never finding anything else
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Hello there!
I’m new to f1 and Lestappen.
Is there a Charles and Max master post somewhere with their history? I keep hearing about the social media unfollowing and podium walk off and want all the tea and timelines.
Basically all I know about is the inchident.
Many thanks!
hello and welcome!! my scholarship (read: obsessively reblogging things or bookmarking them thinking i'll actually find them again later) tends to be VERY chaotic, but i know there are definitely compilations out there. i've read some great ones.
nini (@scuderiafemboy) has a LOT of lore content on tumblr and twitter & does a lot of translating of dutch interviews/manages to unearth old interviews all the time. the twitter thread of threads covers 2018 through june 2023! she also compiled some of the database on tumblr here.
@chibrary archives interviews, articles, etc., in glorious fashion. this is charles centric but naturally charles' history intersects with max's so there are some good pieces in there, like this 2015 article on the lestappen rivalry in karting. the #driver:max tag provides a lot of golden content (such as extended lore on the inchident!).
moments™
marginally related, but dani (lecstappens on twitter) once posted the video of max and charles being scolded and warned to behave themselves during the race following the inchident. one of my favorite pieces of lestappen info frankly... demon children. (also on posted by @il-predestinato on tumblr here. who, btw, is a gold mine of lestappen content.)
well, as long as i'm adding some favorite gems while i try to find the specific post i'm looking for... the lestappen singapore flag moment is my roman empire. i am also haunted by the awkward weather convo video. which i know is out there, but i am going crazy trying to find it.
i decided to just commit to the moments list, so here is charles drinking red bull gate 2023 (courtesy of @countingstars-17)
charles asking the tifosi to stop booing max at monza this year (@il-predestinato seriously has so much content)
this excerpt of max's manager talking about charles (@blueballsracing)
if i don't stop myself i will be here all year
more mini compilations !!
@hyacinthsdiamonds once produced a nice list of the ridiculous lore around lestappen that sounds made up
some 2021 specific "best moments" compiled by @coconutshygame
there is one post i am thinking of that touched on their wild lore/destined f1 rivalry etc. but i can't find it now so stay tuned 🫡
also, for some theorizing on the most recent lestappen debacles and what it all means with ferrari/rbr and a potential charles to rbr (ot charles to more power at ferrari) move:
@tsarinablogs is a Scholar™ with lovely essays
@valyrfia has an addition to the marketing mayhem
i recently compiled my unhinged #rbr-ferrari sticker war content to advocate for rbr charles here, which was added to by this anon with banger points
personally i use #rbr charles for the theorizing and delulu hours, but i think #lestappen rbr and #lestappen gate 2023 are also prime hunting ground for rbr specific lore
anyone who has info to share pls do ❤️ i know i'm missing loads of scholarship that is lost in the pits of my unorganized blog
#what i have learned lately is i should be tagging my specifically again afnkafas#me never finding anything else#getting distracted by lestappen but not the lestappen i need#typical#*oracles#rbr charles#lestappen#oh now is a good time#lestappen lore#ah ha#new tag!#f1#charles leclerc#max verstappen#tag purists dont @ me this isnt really shippy
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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Favorite part about the new Pokemon games so far is that absolutely no one questions where on earth your big mysterious sandwich-loving lizard boy came from.
#Seta Speaks#Seta memes#Pokemon#Pokemon Scarlet and Violet#Pokemon SV#Pokemon SV spoilers#WHY IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH ME JUST RIDING A NEVER BEFORE SEEN POKEMON AROUND#Like okay Sada's like 'watch out for it for me :3' but everyone else is like 'okie dokie have fun' and NO ONE QUESTIONS ANYTHING#Does no one in these games ask questions??????? Okay then#Me and my big red scaly boi are gonna go find Riolus have fun not pondering the mysteries of it's origins#top posts
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being loveless does suck sometimes but less bc of some "ohnooo I'll never be able to loooove what will I ever doooo" bs but because how the hell do you tell the ppl around you that you view all relationships as business transactions where the currency is care and support and the reward is trust? How do you tell someone "hey so I could not care less about you as a person but also I enjoy every second we spend together and I'd fight the universe for you if you asked and if you ever disappeared I probably wouldn't miss you but I'd still cry for all the things we never got to experience together" without being the asshole?
#loveless#loveless apl#loveless aplatonic#aplatonic#aplspec#loveless aro#loveless aromantic#so many times i find myself believing im a shitty person#for not being emotionally invested in others#i find it genuinely hard to truly care for other ppl#but it's like i do wanna help and support you!! i do wanna be there for you#and do stupid shit with you!!#id do anything a good friendship requires from me!!#and yet it never feels enough bc the needed emotions aren't behind the acts#not enough that i do it bc i wanna. not enough if it's not out of love#and like how could i blame them for it? how else would they react to#'hey i literally don't care about you. let's hang out anyway'?#(bestie if ur reading this. im sorry...?)#queer stuff
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THE WELL AND THE LIGHTHOUSE PMV/ANIMATIC
youtube
very very jean valjean centric because i love him and he deserves the world <3 im not sure if pmv or animatic would apply better to this, but either way, i hope you enjoy it!
#about the events i didnt include in this: i know their significance they were just cut out because i couldnt find a way to apply it#to the lyrics or there were other moments i wanted to include more#ok with that out of the way every tag past this one will be me talking about the process of making this etc etc#basically a yap fest and fandom tags#45+ hours of work wow#never made anything like this before!#im very happy with how it turned out though :3#blood sweat and tears went into this#at points i didnt think id be able to finish this but! its here! i finished it! aah!!!!!#file size was too big to post straight to tumblr had to upload it to youtube first </3#UGH IM SO PROUD OF THIS#i did a lot of vaguely talking about it but ITS HEEREEEE!!!!!! ITS DONE! FINALLY!!!!#not sure what else to say other than wow this took me a long time and it drove me half insane#les miserables#les mis#jean valjean#valjean#inspector javert#javert#fanart#les amis de l'abc#< tagging them as a group because theyre there for one frame so it counts </3 and for some reason half the fandom is on that tag. why.#sorry les amis fans youve been deceived#art#marius pontmercy#cosette fauchelevent#pmv#animatic#dont you dare let this flop. please.#i spent 2 months on this please please please please dont let it flop.
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#klawf#doing these two late at night as opposed to early in the morning. still trying to find a schedule that works for me with this new job#and the work has been ramping up a bit recently. this one i just somewhat Forgot to do all day#typically i like to do them before i start working on anything else. but i just. forgot! this time#uhm. anyway i never really processed how this thing looks until now? it's like. a boss and everything. but i never Really looked at its eye#i know biologically there's probably a crab like this. fuckin mr krabs looks like this. but. huh!#never looked at it this closely. was more focused on figuring out what type it was so i could beat it faster
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i saw that
I'm sorry tumblr user demilypyro for my strong opinions on the most popular girls name from 1996 to 2007 :( it WILL happen again #banthenameemily2024
#ok despite better judgement im going to be genuine the tags lol... when i was in middle school where was five. FIVE. Emily A's#so i couldnt even go by Emily A. I was Emily A 3. and i always felt like the outlier. the emily that was wrong.#it felt like a club i shouldnt have been a part of. none of the nicknames fit. no one would call me anything else.#i know. 2 or 3 trans women who go by emily now and im like#how do you find peace and comfort in an identity i never did#its strange that emily has always felt like a costume im wearing incorrectly and its the truth for other people#i think. for lack of a better terms#i have always been jealous of the fact people can change their names and have it stick. jealous of people how find happiness in womanhood.#anyway#you named yourself emily????#l + cringe +lmaooooo#I will be running for president under these terms
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When discussing or analyzing Dazai, one thing I hope you will keep in mind when reading anything I write about him is that from my perspective, he is always, always both.
What do I mean by this? Well, I find there tends to be a general split among people who hold the opinion that "he's a manipulator and will always be manipulative" and "he's doing his best to be good and helpful and live up to Oda's last wishes for him", of which, neither is completely right - because he is both. But even among the people who hold to this dual-nature interpretation, I find that his individual actions and motivations still tend to be thought of in a dichotomous manner - is it manipulative, or genuine?
Again, I think it's always both.
Dazai has a very pragmatic view on a lot of things - he is always looking for the usefulness of things and people so that the situation turns out in his favour. He's incredibly adept at this, and his prediction and placement and careful reveals are all manipulation tactics to get his allies and enemies doing exactly what he needs them to. I don't think anyone can contest this since we see it over and over in the series.
But that's not all there is to it. He's not solely manipulative and he does, to some extent, sympathize with others - I think there are several instances of this in the series, but I want to stress that this has been apparent since Chapter 1!
For context, Dazai is recalling what Atsushi said to him a few minutes earlier, but it's very interesting that it should be this specific part of the conversation. He could've flashed back to the part where Atsushi said he had nowhere to go; no money, no food - he is about to trick him into joining, after all, and this is the key piece he uses to basically force Atsushi into the Agency. But instead it's Atsushi's self-deprecation that catches his attention, and it really does, because even during the conversation, he turns to look at him after he says this with an odd expression.
You could say that this makes Atsushi easier to manipulate, if that's your angle, but that can't be solely it, because in the later conversation with Hirotsu, we know Dazai was planning to bring Atsushi into the Agency and set him up as one half of the new Double Black the moment he met him. The panel shown there is the riverbank, set much earlier in the day than this scene. He was already planning to pair him with Akutagawa since he figured out he was the tiger, so what's with this reaction?
Well. Sometimes the simplest explanation is the best.
He manipulated Atsushi into joining with the intention of utilizing him in his future plans. He also helped him and gave him a place to belong, and importantly, he likes this kid! It's both.
I think much of it might be that his brain just kinda works way too fast - he's such a natural at crafting these elaborate plots and seeing how things connect and gathering useful people like resources that it's practically automatic - though this is not a great means when you're trying to be a kinder person. There's an omake, I believe, that has him saying "I like using my head for justice", i.e. using these underhanded means to act for the better. Not great, but those are the kind of gifts he has. He's way more suited to exploitation, but is choosing to use these tactics to save people now, which is quite reminiscent of what he tells Kyouka. Kyouka's talents lie in killing people - when what you're good at isn't who you want to be, what do you do? Well, I expect you use what you have, even if it's not ideal.
Now, about the current situation with Sigma - I think he definitely likes him, and is intrigued by him and his situation. We did get a little thought bubble where the guy amusedly compares him to Atsushi, and you can't tell me he doesn't care about Atsushi (listen to the onsen drama cd, or read 55 Minutes if you somehow don't believe me). But also, it's undeniable that Sigma is in a very vulnerable position of being homeless and having had no one be genuinely kind to him before. His trust is very easy to earn, and with the latest chapter, Dazai has now saved his life multiple times. There is, as always, a practical purpose he needs him for. And I have to be somewhat amused because Dazai is quite literally telling Sigma everything he ever wanted and needed to hear. It's a brilliant means of quickly endearing himself to Sigma - but I don't think that's all it is.
Look. The most honest moments we get in this series from Dazai are, interestingly for an expert manipulator, when people are at their most vulnerable. In spite of every pointlessly cruel act he inflicted on Akutagawa, his first meeting with him was open and transparent; much like the orphanage director, it seems he thought this treatment would make him strong and adaptable (he's wrong but that's not the point of this). He cuts Kyouka off in irritation and says "don't give me that" when she implies that she would fail the entrance exam. He tells Atsushi it's normal to cry after losing a father figure and to feel however you feel, even if that person caused you nothing but incredible pain and cannot be forgiven. He refuses to entertain Sigma's assumptions that Dazai sees himself as a superior being to him.
Selective honesty can also be utilized to great effect; Mori does this, and undoubtedly it serves this purpose for Dazai too. But I want to stress that I do sincerely believe this is all still honesty from him. Manipulation, or genuine?
Both. It's both.
#or to summarize: Dazai is a gemini (derogatory)#<- said as a fellow gemini (also derogatory)#the few exceptions to the always both rule are basically any of his interactions with odasaku#and the bit in sb where he tells chuuya about what activating corruption will entail#most everything else appears to have a dual reason.#to be clear: there's lots of ways to interpret dazai - but this is the approach i personally use in my analyses#so i'd love it if you guys would read my dazai analyses keeping this standpoint in mind :)#i think instead of debating 'is dazai bad' which is seriously kind of irrelevant to me#i'd love to talk a bit more about how dazai is actually quite helpful but also equally presumptuous about what will help people#we could also talk about the fine line between protectiveness and possessiveness with him too.#or about how drawn he is to kind people who value life likely because he's hoping to find answers or a vicarious experience#anything except the 'is he good or bad' debate. i don't like it. :/#bsd#bsd meta#bsd analysis#bsd dazai#storyrambles#oof i never know how things like this are going to go over.
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so do you think he succeeded?
#i woke up out of nowhere at seven in the morning with his speech playing in my head over and over again#a better world. a free world. turn me into shredded paper#and i was thinking about how i would be really annoyed if the wish never had any consequences because if that was the case félix deserved#to make his own. in this new world there's still obfuscation. people are still pulling the strings. there's still fucking nepotism LMAO#i also almost put the ring scene as who gets powers and who doesn't because i think a lot about whether ladybug would have granted all#sentimonsters autonomy or only the ones she perceives to be human#i didn't because i couldn't find anything else that fit what's right or wrong but know i have many thoughts on this subject#miraculous ladybug#🌃#ml gifs#ml emotion#ml recreation#ough... félix#sunny from the future here i kept this in my drafts for a bit but it shall now be dispensed to you because i am a magnanimous ruler
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childhood friend!sugu vs childhood friend!toru
YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE .
thank you for saying this anon i’ve been thinking of it a lot actually. i’m morally and legally binded to choose childhood friend!sugu no matter what because he’s literally……. my favorite Ever. and i think the inherent devotion of the childhood friend trope blends soooo well with his natural devotion. his protective urges. etcetc. i have wayyyy too many thoughts about childhood friend!sugu 😭 but it mostly boils down to him wanting to be by your side forever. he wants to make you happy and he wants to protect you and he knows you so well that he doesn’t trust anyone else to love you like he can. he’s selfish and he wants you to lean on him more than he wants anything for himself.
childhood friend!toru though….. i feel like he would be your estranged childhood friend. that makes most sense to me :3 like, you met when you were really really young, and ended up playing together in an empty park. he was a brat, kind of quiet, and you were just sweet, y’know? you were the closest thing to a friend he had as a child. then you ended up moving away, he never got to say goodbye… and you meet again as adults. you don’t remember him — it was just so, so long ago — but he remembers you. he remembers you a little too well.
so now you just kinda have to deal with this tall, handsome, cheery man who keeps talking to you like you’re best friends even though you literally don’t remember him…. he’s sweet though. a little annoying, but sweet. he has a soft spot for you. i think having anything remotely close to a childhood friend makes him feel human in a way he can’t help but crave.
sooooo. overall!!! both are good :3 i will always be a childhood friend!sugu truther before anything else but childhood friend!toru has sm potential..
#THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION MY ANGEL#the childhood friend trope is my Absolute favorite i’ll never get tired of talking abt it :3#childhood friend!sugu is the most devoted sugu btw#that’s a very tough thing to say but. it’s true#honestly it’s a toss up between a specific brand of cult leader geto and childhood friend sugu…#buuuuuut . like.#i think childhood friend sugu would do Anything to see you smile. he’s so devoted to you.#you’ve been the center of his world before he knew who he was or what he wanted#so . like. when he thinks of the future he just sees You. all he wants is to be with you#…….. when i think abt it . he’s literally just yuuta isn’t he 💀💀💀#the geto/yuuta parallels keep haunting me somebody helpppppp T_T#BUT I LOVEEE CHILDHOOD FRIEND!TORU I THINK HE . could be . so fun :333#he keeps pouting about you forgetting him and calling you his bestie so you assume you were really close#… then you eventually find out that you only played together like . four times.#but those few few hours are still precious to satoru because he was always so isolated#it’s a little heartbreaking!!!! the idea that to you he was just a quiet boy all alone in a park.#but to him you were the closest thing he had to a friend……..#i’m just imagining him waiting for you in the park all day. after you move. and he just waits and waits and then goes home.#………….#ok nevermind i’m making myself sad#.. but anyway . i think that kinda plot would be interesting because it gives reader an insight into satoru that no one else has#to you he’s still a quiet boy in a park. who looks a little lonelier than he should be#i love him T_T#ask tag ✩
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Lokius + being romantic foils
- @mcuchallenge - the Final: LOKI vs. Moon Knight
#mobius#loki#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#lokius#mcuchallengefilled#I MEAN they're perfectly coded for each other and i'm never giving up the agenda 😘✌️#imagine finding this level of balance with someone in your life it actually makes me insane? are we to ever consider anything else romance#and yep gonna wring everything possible out of those s1 scenes if it's the last thing i do btw :')))#thanks for the tag and fantastic challenge rounds! had such a great time participating 💕#owen wilson#marvel#owenwilsonedit#mcuchallenge#dianagifs#flashing cw
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fully believe sirius hated the nickname Siri for a number of reasons starting with ‘it sounds ridiculous’ and ending with ‘Reg used to call him that when they were kids’ and that’s why James always went for Si instead.
except, except no one accounted for tiny bite sized harry james potter wrapping his entire hand around Sirius’ pinky, going ‘Siwi, Siwi, Siwi, pway?’ and stealing his entire heart and soul in one fell swoop.
why was he ever even opposed to it anyway?
#sirius black#harry potter#good godfather sirius black#harry is and always will be the exception t everything in sirius’ life#just as his father is and was before him#except harry is his CHILD so he gets more leeway#practically all the leeway in the world#sirius is so obsessed w his kid he will put up with anything#including previously considered cringy names#because his godson calling him siri? sweeter than the most melodious song in the world#no one else is allowed still of course but for harry? there never was a restriction in the first place#hahaha also imagining harry growing up and calling him siri in front of someone who knew sirius in school#and finding out he’s actually hated the nickname all the time#and being like ???? why would u ????#(kudos if he finds out about the w reg association and becomes horrified)#and sirius is just. so unbothered.#like yah so?#and harry just doesn’t get it#‘harry you’re my baby of course u can call me what u want’#harry is ofc promptly embarrassed but managed to get out a ‘even if i say ur ancient?’#sirius immediately jinxes his hair purple#but the matter is considered resolved#harry never takes it for granted again tho#pen’s notes
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is it fair to call people like this "hack writers" if the only way they find a relationship interesting is when it involves pedophilia, incest, cannibalism or necrophilia?
#context: this was in response to a quote about cannibalism in a romantic context#note: this is purely in a writing perspective.#i find the value in romantic cannibalism because it is a interesting metaphor in general#but maybe look at irl examples of cannibalism and you'll realize that it is WAY more complicated#(ex. families in different cultures eating parts of a dead family member to connect them together; even after death)#(or the written historical accounts of slave-owners cannibalizing their slaves & the subsequent trauma for black people related to it)#cannibalism as a metaphor should never be restrained to only romance or love#do you recognize how interesting it can be to use cannibalism as a metaphor for hate? or for literally anything else?#it can be used as a metaphor for control; power; possession; abuse or destroying someone at their very core#im sure it can be used for both simultaneously but i think its limiting to perceive it as 100% romantic#also it limits the discussions of real life cannibalism; both modern and historical#+ is it really impossible to think of a “forbidden relationship” without these 4 subjects?#but the persons' bio starts w/ them being into winc3st (the one who wrote that) so i dont think they give a shit#(sorry for the fuck-ton of tags. it always bothered me as someone who does writing analysis sometimes & get fixated on culture and history)#[just me yapping]#ok to rb#proships dni#tw pedophila mention#tw incest mention#tw necrophillia#racism tw#tw cannibalism#<- these definitely apply here
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.
Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.
Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.
But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.
We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.
All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.
I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?
I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us
#i got SO carried away LMAO#i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically#i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general.#but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this#you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol#he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him#when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment#so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was#my point still stands but so does everything else#you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was.#or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects.#u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind#anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#gorgug thistlespring#the ravening war#trw#colin provolone#zac oyama
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