#me last november: yeah this is going to take a couple of weeks to get going <- idiot

[astramachina]

didn't think learning how to use Twine would end up being a crash course in java but it seems like this year is determined to teach me code one way or another.

[faggot-vampire-dies-epicly]

Respite

Summary: After a really bad argument with your brother Mike, you are left feeling distraught after both of you said things you shouldn't have. As you're struggling to come to terms with what happened, you find comfort in the person you least expected. | Words: 4.225K. Requested by @xxinmyfnafworldxx.

Warnings: Mentions of child disappearance. Mentions of poverty. Cursing, miscommunication, hurt/comfort, family drama, family issues, unresolved romantic tension. Smoking. A bit of an age gap, since Reader is younger than Mike and Vanessa. Fem!Schmidt!Reader.

A/N: Okay, yeah, I know this took long but I was busy, sorry. School is beating my ass, my cousin got into a car accident and a stray dog bit me in the leg. It may not have the same quality as the last one, but I did put in a lot of effort, and I do like how this turned out, so I hope you guys like it too.

Main Masterlist | Vanessa Masterlist | AO3

Nebraska, 1987.

“During autumn, Nebraska is colder than at home. So don’t take off your sweater.”

That was the first thing your dad said when he helped you get out of the car.

Garrett and Mike were already playing tag around the campsite. You chuckled and ran after them, following them into the woods.

That night, at the police station, as you sat beside the only sibling you had left now, you realized your dad was right. Nebraska was indeed colder than Hurricane.

November, 2000.

The past months had been rough.

With Max’s disappearance, you had no choice but to quit your job and stay home to look after Abby while Mike was at work.

After all, Mike had an accident (that he didn’t want to tell you anything about) which caused him to lose another job, which meant even more cost-cutting since he couldn’t keep one job for too long, nor get a high-paying one.

Abby had been there with him the night of the “accident” and she didn’t want to say a thing about it either.

It was driving you insane.

At least things with Aunt Jane had gotten better. But that only was because you had found her passed out in the living room the same night Mike had been injured, and she never came back to bother you and your siblings ever since.

So currently, you were struggling financially, like you always did. 

Mike always got the worst of it.

The smallest portion at dinner, the cheapest clothes, the most worn-out shoes.

You lived in a perpetual state of worrying about him. He would just give you a tired smile, and say, “It’s alright.”

You knew it wasn’t.

Everything changed after Mike lost his job at that old restaurant.

Mike and Abby’s relationship had been magically fixed, or at least that’s how it felt. 

She wasn’t shutting both of you out anymore, and Mike had become more calm and understanding.

There was also Vanessa, the police girl who had stayed a couple of weeks at your house. She was Abby and Mike’s friend and had also been involved in whatever happened in that old place.

Mike had let her stay in the house while recovering from whatever injury she had suffered.

She had slept on the couch. Sometimes you would go to the kitchen for water in the middle of the night, and you would find her awake, looking through the window.

Vanessa never talked much, at least not with you, she seemed to like Mike more. But you would still stay with her until she whispered goodnight and slipped under the blankets.

Sometimes, you would stay even after she had fallen asleep. You were the only one who could wake her from her nightmares after all.

Then she had moved out and you barely saw her. Sometimes she would drop Abby off from school, or Mike would invite her to dinner.

Vanessa was… fine. 

It’s not that you didn’t like her. 

No. 

You liked her very much.

But you didn’t have time to acknowledge what that meant. Much less let her know.

 Not that you were thinking of actually doing it.

After all, it seemed like everyone's life was improving, except for yours.

You still couldn’t go to college like you wanted to, since there were no babysitters around to look out for your little sister.

Mike was still jumping from job to job, getting paid barely enough to help with the mortgage and the basic groceries. And you couldn’t help with that either, since nobody wanted to hire you just for the part-time, and even if they wanted to, Mike wouldn’t approve of it.

And even worse, you couldn’t even go out to make friends, because, even if your older brother had changed, he was still as overbearing and overprotective with you.

You were sure that if you went to look at the meaning of overzealous on the library computers, his name would be the first thing to come up.

It always drove you nuts.

Even if you were young, you were already an adult. You didn’t need him to always keep an eye on you.

You understood it was just a trauma response. You really did.

You were there the day Garrett was kidnapped, after all. You recalled the horrified look on Mike’s face as they were interrogating him. His cheeks were tear-stained, his eyes red-rimmed, and he was so pale anyone could have mistaken him as a ghost.

You could remember him saying, “I just looked away for a second. I swear it was just a second,” to your parents' sorrowful faces over and over again.

Still, it didn’t mean you had to suffer such consequences. You wanted to live a normal life, as normal as you could, regardless of what had happened.

Abby sighed profoundly and shifted on her seat, frowning at her drawing. 

You were in the kitchen, making dinner, and close enough to her to notice her discontent, so you pushed the salad you just finished aside and looked at her.

“What’s wrong, Abz?”

She made a face, meeting your gaze. “My friend from school invited me to have a sleepover tonight, but Mike won’t let me go.”

You frowned. When did this kid make friends at school?

And why were you just finding out about it?

“Well, uh,” you trailed off. “Did he give you a reason? Like, is he going to stay late at work tonight?”

Abby shook her head, looking back at her drawing, and put the crayon she was holding down on the table.

Just then, as if you had summoned him, Mike opened the door and stepped into the house.

Abby and you turned to look at him as he took out his jacket, and stepped out of his shoes.

He smiled at Abby, first, ruffling her hair, and looked at her drawing.

“That’s a good one,” he murmured, looking at Abby. He then turned to look at you.

“What’s with that face?” Mike asked casually.

“Abby told me something interesting,” you said, focusing on the salad again.

Mike hummed, peeking into the pots on the stove, and checked what you were cooking. “What did she say?”

You huffed, setting the salad to the side again.

“Well, first of all,” you turned to look at him. “I have just been made aware that she has a friend in school.”

Mike chuckled softly, leaving the pots alone to face you. “Ah, yes. It’s true, she has a school friend.”

You huffed, frustrated. Did neither of them feel like this was important information? After all the time Abby had struggled to make real friends?

“And also,” you continued, “her friend invited her to a sleepover, and you didn’t allow it.”

Mike sighed, already tired from the conversation. “Yes, that’s true, too.”

“So, why can’t she go?” You crossed your arms.

Mike shrugged. “It's not safe for her.”

You scoffed. “You're unbelievable. It's just a sleepover. What's the worst that could happen? Kids consuming too much sugar? She asking her friend's mom to call you because she misses her room? ”

Mike huffed, shaking his head, and tried to walk away from the conversation.

You followed him across the hall and into his room.

“Come on, Mike. What's the worst that could happen? Seriously.”

Mike sighed, turning to face you while he tossed away his tie. “I don't know – I mean, we don't know these people. God knows what strange habits–”

“Are you hearing yourself?” you said, disbelief clear in your voice. “You’re accusing people you don’t know of being,” you gestured with your hands, “weirdos, just because you’re afraid of letting Abby out of your sight!”

Mike rolled his eyes, scoffing. “I'm not afraid, I'm just being careful! It's my job as an older brother–”

“You won't have control over her all her life. You know that, right?” You argued back. “She might be a kid right now but she’ll keep on growing and things will get out of hand, Mike.”

The conversion was turning into a whole-blown argument. You knew you shouldn't press Mike's buttons further, but it was too late to care about that.

“Y/N,” he said in a warning tone. “Don't start this again.”

You scoffed, “Start what, exactly?”

“You know what. I'm not in the mood to argue.”

“You're never in the mood for anything!” You snapped at him. “All you do is work,” you continued. “Or rather, try to keep your job and watch over us like you're our bodyguard. You are going to asphyxiate us with your intensity.”

“I'm just trying to keep you two safe!”

Your voices were raised so high that Abby could probably hear the discussion from the living room.

“Keep us safe–”

“Oh, please,” he practically mocked. “You know I have reasons!”

Before you could argue back, he continued.

“Abby is a kid. She doesn’t understand the dangers she could be in, and you,” Mike met your gaze, “you think I don't notice how you look at me sometimes? Like I'm ruining your life? Like you hate me?”

You huffed, “I don't hate you! I just– I just want some space, okay?”

Mike scoffed, but you ignored him.

“I want to be able to go out at night, to have a job, and make money not only for us to have something to eat, but to buy things for myself too. I want to stop worrying so much about you!”

You took a long breath, trying to calm down.

“I want a normal life. A normal, relaxing life, Mike. Where I can make friends and go on dates without having to sneak out because you won’t agree.”

“Y/N–” he tried to interrupt.

“No!” you cut him off. “You think I don’t know who I remind you of? You think I don't know that when you look at me, you think of Garrett? You think I don’t hear when you tell Abby I look just like him?”

“That’s not true!” he shook his head, now seemingly hurt. “Look, I'm just trying to look out for you! For you and Abby. I'm your big brother–” he said, exasperated. And that was your last straw.

“We don't need you to protect us! Did you forget what happened the last time you tried to look out for one of us?”

A deafening silence followed. Mike deflated, his words dying in his mouth.

You looked at each other for a second before you realized what had been said.

“Fuck,” you exhaled. “Mike, I'm sorr–”

“Get out.”

“But–” You approached him, and tried to take his hand but he cringed, pulling away.

“Please, just…” he trailed off, not looking at you. “Just leave.”

You looked around, thinking of what to do. 

Something, anything that could change the situation you were in.

But of course, there was nothing to do, at least not until Mike had calmed down.

So you left his room, looked at him one last time, and closed the door.

You stood still outside his door, letting everything sink in. You were still angry, but you also felt guilty.

Using Garrett’s kidnapping as an argument during the discussion was a low blow. If there was a hell, you were fucked.

Running your hands through your hair, you approached the living room.

Abby was still sitting at the dining table, eyes fixated on her now-finished drawing.

“Abby?” you called, softly.

She didn’t react. It was one of those moments when she felt stressed so she wouldn’t acknowledge you– or anyone, for that matter.

You sighed, took your jacket from the coat hanger, and stormed out of the house.

You walked for a while, just following the river.

After a good fifteen minutes, you stopped. It was cold, and your jacket wasn’t warm enough.

You sighed in frustration, kicking rocks into the water, and finally decided to sit on the grass.

“Was it really that serious?” You thought. After all, even if it was annoying, Mike's overprotectiveness had probably saved you from a lot of trouble.

You ripped up handfuls of grass as you stared at the water.

“Yes, it is,” you said out loud. Blaming him for Garrett’s disappearance was shitty, but you knew your anger was justified. Mike couldn’t keep being like this.

Not with you, and not with Abby, either. He needed to understand. To learn.

But how would he understand and learn if you only told him about your frustrations after bottling up and then exploding?

It wasn’t fair to him, either. Mike would just feel like you’re being antagonistic.

Grumbling, you rummaged through your jacket’s pockets. The wind had started to pick up and you needed something to warm up.

You pulled out a cigarette pack and a lighter from the front pocket of your jacket.

You huffed. Mike would kill you if he found out. 

Lighting the cigarette, you took a quick drag and as you put the items away again, you felt something strange in your pocket. 

Frowning, you placed the cigarette between your lips and reached into your pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper.

Humming, you unfolded it without care, not remembering what it was.

You almost choked on the smoke.

It was a drawing from Abby.

She had given it to you a few weeks ago after you picked her up from school.

It was a drawing of you, her, Mike, and a little airplane toy. Garrett's favorite.

“God-fucking-dammit,” you said, putting the cigarette back in between your lips to avoid getting ash on the paper.

“Language,” a voice behind you said, and you jumped, turning around.

Standing there, with her blonde hair swaying slightly in the wind, was Vanessa.

“Great,” you thought.

Out of all the people you could have run into this situation, it had to be her.

You noted was wearing civilian clothes: jeans, a cheap-looking sweater, and a jacket. Her hair was also down. Very different from her usual everyday look.

“That’s bad for your lungs. You know that right?” she said, pointing to the cigarette between your lips.

You grumbled, turning to face the water again, and she took it as an invitation to sit beside you.

“I mean that,” Vanessa said, staring at you.

You took a drag and blew the smoke away from her. “I know.”

She hummed. “Does Mike know?”

You frowned, looking at your shoes while the cigarette slowly burned in your hand.

“There’s a lot of things Mike doesn’t know about me,” you answered, meeting her gaze.

You stared at each other for a moment before she spoke again. “Can I?” She said, pointing to the cig. You handed it to her, and she took a puff from the cig.

You smiled. “I thought you said it’s bad for your lungs. What changed?”

Vanessa rolled her eyes, blowing the smoke. She took another puff, then looked at you.

“Nothing has changed, it’s still bad,” and as she said it, she threw the cigarette into the water.

You gasped. “Hey, those are not cheap!”

It was her turn to smile then. “I know.”

You huffed. “Between this and Mike’s pills, I think you can be considered an environmental terrorist.”

Her smile faltered. “He told you about the pills?”

You nodded slowly, humming. “Mike tells me everything,” you said with a smile.

You paused, your mind returning to the night that he arrived limping and with several superficial wounds and scratches, and with a trembling Abby beside him.

“Almost everything,” you thought out loud.

Vanessa looked at the glistening water. “What makes you say that?”

You scoffed. “Come on. Something happened to him in that old pizzeria, and he won’t speak about it. Neither will Abby.”

You looked at her. She shifted uncomfortably under your gaze.

“And I’m assuming you won’t, either.”

She cleared her throat.

“It’s…” She paused for a moment, thinking of what to say. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just something I shouldn’t be the one to tell you.”

You sighed, looking towards the water again. “Called it.”

You two stayed silent for a moment before you spoke up again. “How did you find me anyway?”

Vanessa sighed, rubbing her forehead with one hand.

“Oh,” you breathed out. “Of course.”

Mike had told her to find you.

“He's your brother, Y/N,” she said softly. “I'm sure he only wants what's best for you.”

You felt a twinge of annoyance.

"Yeah sure..." you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "He's always known what's best for me. Like when he convinced me to leave my job so I can stay home and be a housekeeper.”

Vanessa's brows furrowed. “He did?”

You sighed. “It's… more complicated than that, but… that's how it feels.”

A beat passed in silence.

“I know he's doing it because of Garrett,” you murmured. 

“Doing what?” Vanessa asked carefully.

“This. All of this…” You sighed. “Not letting Abby hang out with her new friend, convincing me to stay home and take care of her...”

She watched you intently, waiting for you to continue.

“I can't go out at night, he's constantly barging into our rooms, I can't date anyone,” you sighed, and she seemed to understand, her expression softening.

Slowly, Vanessa reached out to you, putting her hand on your shoulder.

"I understand that Mike can be overprotective at times, I can't deny that,” she said softly. "I know it must suck not being able to go anywhere or do anything without him always checking on you..." she sighs, looking you in the eyes empathetically. "But we both know he just wants to protect you, even if he’s doing it in the wrong way. He loves you dearly.”

You avoid her gaze, your eyes focusing on the grass underneath you.

“It's worse with me.”

“Why do you say that?”

You smile bitterly. “Because apparently, I’m the only one who looks just like Garrett.”

Silence.

“I–” She began but cut herself off.

“I just wish,” you continued, “he could just try to move on. At least now he's aware it wasn't his fault, but,” you took a deep breath. “I feel like he's still stuck trying to be a protector instead of just being our brother.”

Vanessa stayed silent, and you were grateful for that. You didn’t feel like hearing fake reassurances while talking about Garrett or his disappearance.

“Every time we try to talk about it, it just turns into an argument,” you whispered

“And why's that?” Vanessa squeezed your shoulder. You felt your heart flutter at the gesture.

“I guess… because we're both too stubborn to hear each other out,” you chuckled tiredly, running your hands through your hair. 

Vanessa opened her mouth, but you interrupted her.

“I fucked up today,” you turned to face her. “I kind of… blamed him for Garrett's disappearance.” 

Vanessa seemed shocked by this. Then she sucked in her breath between her teeth.

“That's–”

Your expression turned bitter as you felt your face flush in shame. 

“I know, you don't have to tell me.”

You hid your face in your hands. “He seemed so distraught, so hurt, I can't… I can't stop thinking about it.”

You felt your nails dig into your scalp. “I can’t stop thinking about the pain in his eyes, I can’t unsee the way he just… shrank.” 

Carefully, Vanessa rested her hand on your back, and when you didn't protest, she started rubbing small, comforting circles.

You feel a knot form in your throat.

“I…” you swallowed. “I remember it. The day he disappeared.”

A pause.

“I remember it so vividly,” you huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “I sprayed almost the whole bottle of ketchup on my sweater. Mom guided me to the tent so I could change,” a shaky breath slipped from your lips, and you felt her stomach churn.

The dread, the fear you felt that day would never leave your system.

“Next thing we knew, Mike was running and yelling, desperate. You closed your eyes, the memories flooding your mind.

“Mom, Dad! Help, they took him! They took Garrett!”

You stayed with your eyes closed for a few seconds, as Vanessa kept rubbing your back reassuringly.

“Did you know I had a brother?” She began.

“Really?” You asked with surprise in your voice.

“Mhm,” you could hear her smile in her voice, “we used to be really close. He was always looking out for me.”

“What happened to him?”

Her hand stopped. You tensed up.

“He… disappeared. Many years ago. Just like Garrett.”

You pulled slightly at your hair. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…”

“It's okay,” she said in a solemn voice, but with a small, resigned smile on her face.

“Why are you telling me this?” You finally faced her again.

“Because you can never take your family for granted. You shouldn’t say hurtful things to each other, and if it happens, you should let it cool off and then talk about it, not run away.”

Oh, now she was scolding you.

“I didn't–” you cringed. “Mike asked me to–”

She giggled. Giggled.

“I'm not saying it only because of you. Mike needs to understand that you're an adult now, that he won't always be able to protect you.”

Your eyes lit up. “Will you help me, then? Will you talk to him?”

Vanessa shook her head. “No, Y/N. You two need to sit down, talk, and finally start listening to each other.” She gave you a small smile.

You sighed, nodding. 

“Come on,” she said, standing up, shaking the dirt off her jeans, “I'll take you home.”

She extended her hand, and you took it without thinking twice.

Vanessa parked her car in front of your house, sighing softly before turning off the engine.

She looked at you, and after a few seconds, you met her gaze.

“You know,” she smiled, “I’m pretty sure you two can actually come to an agreement.”

You huffed, “That’s easier said than done.”

You pushed the car door open.

“Wait,” she said, holding onto the back of your jacket. You stayed still.

“I mean it, Y/N,” she gave you a soft look. 

“Just talk to him. No yelling, not arguing,” you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “talk. Really talk…”

You stared at each other momentarily before she let go of your jacket.

“Hear him and… make him hear you,” Vanessa added, a whisper more than anything.

You nodded, climbing out of the car, and closing the door.

She lowered the window. “Good luck, I guess,” she smiled.

You felt your heart speed up. Was this really the end of it? Would she only speak to you when Mike asked her to? So she was just being nice, right?

You swallowed. “Yeah… Well.”

You felt heat rising up your neck, reaching your cheeks. Shame.

“Thanks for the ride, by the way,” you scratched the back of your neck, trying to get rid of the sensation.

“No problem.”

You nodded, and just as you were about to push the front door open, Vanessa called your name and you practically rushed to the car window. “Yes?”

Vanessa let out a breathy laugh and you almost melted on the spot. She opened the glove compartment and took out a notebook and a pen.

She started to write something down. 

“In case you and Mike keep having trouble…” She trailed off as she handed you the paper, which had a phone number written on it. 

You raised your gaze to meet hers. “If it doesn’t work out, you can call me and I can give you some advice,” she grinned at you. 

“And if it does?”

"Maybe we can go for a coffee, then?"

“I don’t like coffee,” you blurted out, feeling your cheeks warm up.

Vanessa's smile grew wider at your reaction and she chuckled softly. "Well, how about tea then? Or maybe we could just go for a walk instead?"

Her tone was playful and her smile was contagious, making it impossible for you to stay embarrassed for long.

You stayed silent, not sure how to respond. All you knew was that it was supposed to be cold outside at this time of the year, but you were sweating.

Vanessa shook her head, still smiling, and her playful tone turned into a sincere one. “We don’t have to if you don’t want–”

“I want to,” you interrupted her. “I do.”

She seemed to perk up. 

“I’ll call,” you said, without a doubt. “I promise.”

Vanessa gave you a soft smile before turning the car on, and slowly drive out of sight.

You sighed, turning to push the door open, and to your surprise, Mike was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, and Abby peeking at you from behind him, smiling.

He met your gaze, and against all odds, he smiled at you. “I guess we need to talk.”

You smiled at him. “Yeah,” you looked down at the small piece of paper in your hands and swallowed. “Yeah. We do.”

Mike sighed, gesturing for you to come inside.

“So you heard all of that?” You said in a weary voice, and Abby giggled.

Mike shook his head. “Maybe we should eat first, I’m about to pass out.”

Right, you still hadn’t had dinner. Your stomach grumbled.

As you followed your brother into the dining room, you had the sensation that maybe, just maybe, things would be alright.

A/N: Reblogs are not only appreciated but also encouraged. Reblogs are what keep the fandom going.

[gravity-falls-fanatic89]

November's Naughty and Nice Stories

Day 11: Mr. Mystery/Part 1 of 2

Mullet Stan Pines x Reader

Part 1-Fluff with mild language

Part 2 will be spicy:18+/MINORS DNI!

"Did you hear that guy in the woods finally came out to talk to people last week? He's been renovating the place since he opened it awhile ago." Susan said, already jittery from the 5 cups of coffee she downed before noon.

You and Susan were working Saturday morning at Greasy's Diner, and you were half listening to the gossip, pretending like you didn't care, but she was piquing your curiosity with the guy that finally made a public debut in a more vocal manner. He was a recluse for a couple years, and was now coming out and about, advertising his newly rebranded Mystery Shack, previously The Murder Hut that he was renovating.

"I don't pay no mind to the guy, Sue. You know that. He seems cocky, and a chatterbox," you said. But that wasn't true. You were always checking him out, and knew his stories were hogwash, but he was pretty cute for a bullshitter.

You two gossiped back and forth before the dinner rush rolled in, and you tried avoiding talking about Stan "Mr. Mystery" Pines.

"Hey, it's him!" Susan elbowed you, almost knocking you over.

He walked in, his chest puffed out a bit, with a white shirt covered in sweat on, and black slacks. His hair was a mess, but he looked like he was whooped for the day. Susan handed you a menu, and nudged you on.

"I can't go talk to him right now.... I'm 'busy.'"

You rolled your eyes, and took the menu. "Yeah, sure you are."

And Stan sat down, and you followed behind, placing a menu at the booth for him. "Well, hey good looking, ya decide to take care of me today?"

You could feel your cheeks get slightly red with the smooth talk, and try to dismiss it. "Can I start you with a drink, Stan?"

He smirked. "I'll take a coffee if it's fresh. I appreciate it."

You grabbed the coffee, and handed it to him, and let him know the specials. Turkey dinner with all the trimmings was what he landed on, and you brought it out, and proceeded to walk away, standing by Susan.

"He's actually being pretty mild for him today," you said to her. "I'm actually a little shocked."

"I think he's a little wore out. He's been cleaning up his place for business, and seems to be alone....Even for Thanksgiving," and she gave me the side eye.

"Yeah, yeah," and you swatted her off. You wrote up his check, and prepared to cash him out, walking up to him.

"Any pumpkin pie at all to finish up?"

"Nah, I wanna make sure I leave ya a tip. I appreciate ya dealin' with me after I've been stinkin' to high heaven from workin' all day. Probably don't need it anyways."

And you actually felt a little bad, and went to the counter, grabbed a slice of pie, and handed it to him in a to go box with the check. He was pompous at times, but even he seemed alright tonight. He looked at you, a little surprised.

"You need your energy to get that place up and running. Good luck, and just think of this as an early Thanksgiving Day snack to keep you going."

He looked at the check, and looked at you. "I appreciate that. I'm sure this pie is gonna be sweet, but nothing compared to you. Keep the change."

And he walked up and left, his check folded with the money inside. There was enough for the bill, and $50, along with his number.

You ever want to stop by, give me a call so you can check out the Shack.

-Stan

And his number was below it, and you felt your stomach do a somersault. Maybe you might pay a visit to Mr. Mystery after all.....As soon as you could get Susan to calm the hell down after she saw you two.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA - me and my bestfriend (bsf) of six years recently got into a 2 week long argument and at this point have stopped talking. First i need to provide some back ground of the situation. Last November i became friends with “J”. This itself caused some arguments because they have similar names and sometimes i’d slip and call bsf, J, on accident and would immediately apologize. After a couple times of this happening she got really upset but i explained i’d been doing the same to J and she seemed to be less upset about it.

In the beginning of January, J and her bestfriend “E” got into some pretty serious drama where information from both sides never matched up but i’d known and used to be friends with E for a while. He is not a great guy speaking from past experience. (he constantly talks about how he’s a narcissist very proudly) He was claiming they had slept together and was telling all of his friends about it. She was saying they hadn’t. These rumors had been going around for months about them but had died down until this. the problem is i believed J but bsf was close with E and sided with him. I’d like to make a note through this entire situation neither me or bsf played any roll in it to my knowledge. this was just between E and J. Later on i found out they had slept together from J and asked why she had said they hadnt she said it was an agreement between the two of them that they wouldn’t say anything to anyone else because of the rumors people were already spreading about them being together. But once she found out it was definitely him telling people this time she told me the truth. yeah they had slept together then he forced her to take a plan B even though he knew she was on birth control and they’d used a condom. then ghosted her and pretended not to know her when asked by Js twins sisters best-friend.

Now it’s about 3 weeks ago where i posted two separate story’s saying how much i loved J and her sister and the other about how much i love bsf. about 10 minutes later bsf texted me “just delete this.” i of course asked why but she never responded so i took it down like she asked. later that day she reply’s to a text i had sent her the day before saying “nothing much just wishing i was hanging out with you” she replied “right.” at this point i’m genuinely confused what’s happening i had a feeling it was about J somehow because every time i posted about J it would be the one thing she didn’t like or comment on and she would get annoyed when i’d mention some thing me and J had done recently. i immediately replied with “of course, i love hanging out with you. your my best friend” A couple hours later she send me a three paragraph message saying how she didn’t think that anymore because i was ignoring everything she was telling me about what E was saying. That i was only taking J’s side and always talking about what J was saying about her side. She said I was using her as a separate option that if J couldn’t hang out i would call her. etc at the end of the message she told me she would never make me choose but that she will never trust anything J says. (they’ve literally never met or talked the only thing she hears about J is through E or me) she ends it with do whatever you want to do but don’t do anything for me. keep being friends with her idk i’m keeping my distance from all that. I replied with a message basically saying that she wasn’t the second option, i wasn’t sure who to trust, and that i try to avoid talking about the situation with J. we go back and forth with her apologizing for how she’s acting then getting mad about me not just believing her over everything else i’m being told. Then she tried to claim she never said J was wrong but that she knows she’s lied to me (the thing i mentioned in the first paragraph is the only time she’s lied to me) that she never picked a side and that she can’t believe how hurt she feels when “i’m supposed to be her bestfriend” i brought up the fact that i had asked her more than once if me being friends with her bothered her and she always said no. That this wouldn’t have exploded like this if we could have talked it out before. she took that as me saying this was all her fault.

A couple days later she messages me asking to talk in person i say when and where but she just send me a message about her feelings anyways again apologizing for how she’s acting and that she felt i wasn’t listening to her but it hurt more to lose me etc but continuing to say she doesn’t think i should be friends with J but it’s my choice. I reply i was listening but i think we were both just trying to find the facts in a situation we will never really know who was lying 100%. but i made a point in the massage to say i wasn’t going to stop being friends with J and that i didn’t understand why me and bsf relationship was so affected by me and J’s. She gets mad again bringing up a hate account that was made claiming J had made it but J had shown me that she hadn’t and it was investigated by our school who also said she didn’t do it. that it was my choice to be friends with her but that i don’t understand how it’s affecting her and that it wasn’t fair. at this point i was really mad because it really felt like she was trying to force me to choose between them two in a way. i replied saying she hadn’t made the account and said i don’t think J is the reason we stopped talking and that i feel like she was making me choose even though she was saying she wasn’t. she then replied saying she didn’t make me choose but that i had chose J over her and “that i guess you though she needed more attention” (yeah maybe because J is not mentally handling this well at all and your fine because your not actually involved with this drama) i didn’t reply to her but about another week later i texted her “i just want to be friends with both of you. why can’t i do that” she replied i understand but i don’t think you should be friends with she’s not a good person but hope your having fun it’s all i wanted for you. that’s the end of the messages at this point.

TLDR : (do we do those here??) bestfriend of three years stopped talking to me because i became friends with another girl who later got into drama with best friends close friend E (A PROUDLY SELF PROCLAIMED NARCISSIST I MIGHT ADD)

What are these acronyms?

[kanmom51]

Feels appropriate today, doesn't it?

cr./@abtjikook

Did we mention that 8 July was 2800 days count from 8 November 2015?

And today we have the book spoilers.

I have sinned, I admit it. Could not wait to next week for my book to arrive and went and read the spoiler pages.

The way they talk about that trip.

We get confirmation that it was ever ONLY about the two of them.

We get confirmation that this trip meant EVERYTHING to them.

Not like we didn't know that already. But it's nice to hear it once again from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

The joy JK got from those little supposedly insignificant moments. Staying up all night because JM was looking through his phone, walking the streets and JM's feet hurting.

Do we see the connecting thread here?

Well, beyond it all being about the one person he also made the star of his creation - JM.

It's all about the mundane!!

They got to be a couple. Alone. Outside of their idol lives. Well, tried their best. And the gift of anonymity with their Halloween costumes. This was just what they needed.

So this trip, it wasn't about a start of a relationship (let's be real, they were 2 years into the relationship at that point). This trip was about them trying to be 'normal' human beings, a 'normal' couple, doing the 'normal' things couples do. No security, no managers, no fans (well they wanted that). Just being themselves together doing the mundane.

All of this isn't happening in a vacuum either. It's happening when they are struggling with their fame and life decisions (some of which were made when they were very very young).

Mundane.

A word I mentioned before too.

Because that's what gave them joy in this trip.

Because discovering that everything you felt for each other also survives that test, the test of being a 'regular', 'normal' couple. That is EVERYTHING.

Take all of that and add the effort that JK went to with arranging the trip. Paying for it. The timing (just almost their 2 year anniversary), the room number choice.

So yes, we get the significance of GCFT. And the significance of it's release date: 8/11/2017.

Do we remember JK's excitement one GCF Tokyo was uploaded?

Almost 6 years on, reading those lines, and JK's choice for GCFT kind of hits you hard, doesn't it?

I woke up pissed off today And lately everyone feels fake Somewhere, I lost a piece of me Smoking cigarettes on balconies But I can't do this alone Sometimes I just need a light If I call you on the phone Need you on the other side So when your tears roll down your pillow like a river I'll be there for you I'll be there for you When you're screaming, but they only hear you whisper I'll be loud for you But you gotta be there for me too But you gotta be there for me too Last year took a toll on me But I made it with you next to me Around the world and back again I hope you're waiting at the end But I can't do this alone Sometimes I just need a light If I call you on the phone Need you on the other side So when your tears roll down your pillow like a river I'll be there for you I'll be there for you When you're screaming, but they only hear you whisper I'll be loud for you I'll be loud for you I got you, I promise But let me be honest Love is a road that goes both ways When your tears roll down your pillow like a river I'll be there for you But you gotta be there for me too But you gotta be there for me too Boy, I'm holdin' onto something Won't let go of you for nothing I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you There was a time that I was so blue What I got to do to show you? I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you Runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you Runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you Said, I'm runnin', runnin' just to keep my hands on you But you gotta be there for me too But you gotta be there for me too

And then you take Letter

Baby, don't leave, just stay with me, yeah To you who saw me greater than my little self (to you) So that I can only deliver as much as I received (Uh-oh) So that I can keep my word (Uh-oh) Don't worry, just stay by your side, yeah Because I don't know what days awaits us (Yeah) I'm scared even though it looks like it (Uh-oh) Don't forget to always say "together" (don't forget)

JM's reply?

I absolutely adore these young men.

I am still to read the book. Can't wait. I'm sure there will be more to add. But at this point, from the few pages shared, I think it's also safe to say that 2018 issues were not about their relationship. Far from it.

They were struggling with themselves. Adjusting to stardom. As much as they wanted the success, as much as they wanted it all, when that dream became a reality is when it hit them that being a star, being famous, being successful, it comes with a price. And that price is at times hard to accept, hard to digest, hard to adjust to and to some impossible to live with. And that is what they were going through. What next? How far? How long? How much? Is this what I really want to do with my life? What price? Is it worth the price? Each of them dealing with it in their own way. JM and JK there for each other, helping each other through it all.

[iam93percentstardust]

It's not just the commodification of fandom. It's not just the disinterest in wips in favor of completed stories. It's not just the unwillingness to take chances on new writers.

It's the demand for instant gratification too.

I'm posting a "wip" right now. It's actually a fully completed story, and I stated that in the A/N when I started posting it a few weeks ago. I finished writing it early in December. It's not going to be abandoned and discontinued. Short of a tragic accident, it will 100% be posted in its entirety before the end of January.

It's also almost 60k words long. Each chapter is approximately 14k words. That's a lot to expect people to read quickly, so I made the decision to post weekly instead of dumping it all at once. I don't normally do that for wips. I normally post bimonthly to give myself time to write the next chapter. But in concession to the fact that this one is already finished, I decided to post once a week. Could I have posted it all at once or even once a day? Sure, but again, I have more than a few close friends who are slow readers, and I thought it was better to give people the time to read each chapter and let it digest before dumping another one on them instead of making them feel like they have to read it immediately so they don't miss the next update.

This, apparently, was a mistake.

I've been very open about working on this fic since I started it in September. People told me they were excited to get the chance to read it every time I posted an update about where I was in the writing process. When I announced that I was posting it, they told me that they couldn't wait to read it. It's not like I was expecting massive numbers of kudos and comments; this fandom has shrunk in size and engagement, I'm not the most popular writer in it, and I try not to feel entitled to engagement, but considering all the people telling me they were excited for it, I was expecting something.

Instead it was crickets. All those people who were so excited and told me they couldn't wait to get home to read it? That was the last I heard from them, unless it was to express outright incredulity that I expected them to read a work in progress. "It's not a work in progress!" I protested. "I'm just taking a little longer to post it!" Yeah, but it's not posted all in one go, so why should we bother to read it? We'll just wait until the end of January once it's finished. "Will I hear from you then? Will I get any indication at all that you liked it?" Eh, maybe. If we feel like it. But it'll only be one comment at the very end. If that.

This keeps happening. If it's not an already completed chaptered fic that I'm posting over time instead of immediately, then it's an idea that I had first talked about a while ago but took a couple months to write only to be met with silence once I start posting because everyone moved on and forgot about it. If it's not ready to go right now in all its fully finished glory and all 60k words posted immediately after I first spoke about it, then why am I talking about it at all? Why should I expect people to be waiting in anticipatory eagerness?

I remember when I posted my first Christmas event fic in 2020. It was already finished too when I started posting it. I'd been talking about it all year. People had seemed really excited for it when I first mentioned it, but then interest seemed to die out somewhere around August. By the time I started posting it in late November, I was fully convinced that no one was going to read it. I actually posted the first chapter and then immediately turned my computer off and didn't let myself turn it back on until the next day.

I was shocked by the number of readers I had. The number of comments. The sheer amount of people telling me they'd been waiting on tenterhooks for me to post that first chapter. And it kept coming. People were talking and theorizing and marking their conversations with spoiler bars for anyone who hadn't read the latest chapter. People timed when I posted the first few chapters so they could be waiting by their computer for when I dropped the next one. I was randomly gifted art. It was really an event, and I'll always be grateful for the support and community I was given for that month.

I never believed I'd ever be able to capture that kind of readership again, and I was right, and that's okay. But when I posted last year's Christmas event fic, for the first time since I started doing this in 2020, someone asked me why I bothered to space it out over a month instead of just posting the entire thing in one go on Christmas Day and how could I possibly expect them to be that invested for an entire month instead of just waiting until it was finished. I didn't know how to tell them that only three years prior, that's not only exactly what people did but they were excited for it to be like that.

If I'm not going to post my already completed fic in one lump sum right now, then the audience for it is nonexistent. And the audience won't grow once it's finished. It's like I have one opportunity to capture the readers and if they weren't willing to take the chance on the first chapter, then they'll never come back. It's disheartening, to say the least. Only six months ago, I was telling a friend that I thought this was my forever pairing, that I'd still be writing for this ship when I was old and grey. And now I'm going through my ideas folder, wondering what can be repurposed for other ships, because I increasingly feel not just that I'm shouting into a void but that the void is actively ignoring me.

I can't post wips because what if I abandon them or take too long to update? I can't post a chaptered fic in one go because that's too many words to expect people to read. But I can't space out posting completed chaptered fics either because everyone wants the instant gratification of the full fic right now. So what am I supposed to do?

I miss December 2020, but it's not the random art that I miss or the kudos or the number of comments. It was the community that built up around this fic. It was knowing that it was okay to space out the chapters because everyone was still right there with me, talking and theorizing and using their spoiler bars. It was my audience trusting me enough to come along with me for the ride instead of waiting for me to be done. I was so scared back then that the full year between me first talking about the idea and posting the first chapter had lost me my audience, scared that they'd all forgotten about me and moved on to other authors who were quicker to post, but I wish I'd known that three years later, it would only take four months for people to lose interest in an idea.

I'd have treated December 2020 like it was way more special than I did.

[knoxvillesjackass]

hello! I had an idea of No Nut November with Johnny x female reader. The jackass guys all dare each other to do it and the winner couple is who lasts the longest. When his girlfriend finds out, she keeps teasing him and it all ends in smut!! Love your stories!! ❤️

𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 - 𝐣.𝐤

im so happy to finally see a smut request!! pls, send some more, because i want to get better at writing it! also, do you guys enjoy reading it or do you like fluff and/or angst better?

warnings! edging, oral sex dom!johnny x sub!reader? ( reader receiving and giving), dirty talk, very dirty hihi

words; 3.375

It was bizarre. Annoying, really. You’d given him every opportunity in the world to rail you, blow your back out and make you incapable of walking for the day…All of your attempts were shut down, which was new for you.

Usually, all you had to do was send the smallest signal to Johnny, and he would be ready at any time, but the past two weeks had been different.

He’d been avoiding you, it seemed. He only kissed you when he left for work, and he’d even slept on the couch for some nights.

You’d been left confused and a little hurt by it all. Had you done something wrong, or was he perhaps just not attracted to you anymore?

The thoughts killed you, but it killed him even more. If it hadn’t been for that stupid bet….

“A month without sex? You’ve gotta be shitting me,” Johnny shook his head as the room erupted in laughter, but he was totally serious.

He couldn’t believe that he was the only one objecting to this nonsense. The concept was idiotic and frankly childish.

Steve-O had been the one to bring it up during lunch break. Everyone had shrugged it off, but as the tension grew thicker throughout the day, everyone suddenly began to take it very seriously, Johnny included.

So, as stupid as he thought it was, Johnny was knee-deep in the ‘No Nut November’ phenomenon, even though he hated the idea.

You and Johnny had sex a lot. No shame in that. Just two adults, who loved each other very much. What Johnny did feel off about, was that all of his friends knew just how much sex you had. How? Well, at every given chance to escape the craziness of the crew, the two of you did. And you didn’t do it to have conversations and drink tea. No, you did it to fuck.

Johnny had been labelled as the guy to fail the quickest, and it didn’t sit right with him one bit.

Luckily for him, his self-control was a different ball game. He had more control than all of the jackass guys combined. If there was a will, there was a way, and Johnny never let himself down once he had a goal.

“Oh, y-you’re participating?” Steve-O asked Johnny, who shrugged and nodded. “Yeah,” he huffed, and the room once again erupted in laughter, this time, it sounded more ridiculing than anything.

“What?” He asked confused and scoffed as he stared back at his wide-eyed friends. “Dude, you’re not going to last for two days,” Pontius grinned, Johnny returning a simple growl. “Let’s just fucking see, shall we?”

-

“Hi, baby!”

You grinned excitedly as Johnny entered your shared apartment. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, furrowing your eyebrows at once when you didn’t feel him embracing you.

“Are you okay?” You asked and unwrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at him innocently. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine, Y/N, I’m just tired. Think I’m gonna go take a shower,” he commented, his eyes focused straight ahead and not down at you.

“Oh, okay. Well, I could join,” you smirked and winked at him, but he merely shook his head and smiled politely before disappearing to the bathroom.

Well, that sucked, you thought.

He was probably just tired. He’d been working long hours, and maybe all the man needed was some space.

You’d attempted to be the understanding girlfriend, even when you felt ignored by Johnny.

The first few days went by okay, although the hours seemed to get longer as the days went by. The week overall was manageable but when the second week struck, Johnny was beginning to struggle.

The day of your anniversary, you'd made everything really special for Johnny. Dressed up nice, cooked some good food, and made the bathtub the perfect place to end the night, together.

When he'd come home, he'd acted just as you'd feared.

Distant and seemingly blind to the effort you'd put into making your fourth anniversary a special one.

The dinner was awkward and you hated the tension. You broke the silence every minute, asking him questions to which he answered with simple and short sentences.

"I have a surprise for you," you smirked. Maybe what he needed was some extra spice, and that was what you were going to give him.

"A surprise?" He asked as he was washing the dishes. He jumped when he felt your arms snake around his waist. Johnny moved away and coughed. His boxers were starting to feel tight, uncomfortably tight.

You grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bathroom. You'd scattered rose petals on the floor and lit some candles. It was the most romantic bathroom you'd ever seen, but Johnny didn't seem to agree.

"O-Oh, Y/N," Johnny coughed nervously and slowly backed out of the bathroom.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you trying to punish me or something? Please, tell me what's going on!"

"No, Y/N-"

"Then why won't you FUCK ME?" You shouted and sniffled. Johnny's heart tore a bit. He wanted to tell you, he really did, but with the mood and how you were feeling, it didn't seem as if it would've been a massive help in his eyes.

The next days were rough. You were upset, understandably. Johnny continued his odd behaviour and you were just about done with it all.

“Just tell me now; when did you give in and how was it?”

Bam stood like a little child next to Johnny and giggled, but Johnny rolled his eyes underneath his sunglasses and sighed.

“I haven’t given in yet, and I’m not going to, so you might as well quit bothering me.”

Bam scoffed at the answer he got from Johnny, but he hadn’t expected much else, considering Johnny’s recent behaviour.

He was in a pissy mood. He was at conflict with himself at all times. The whole dare had transformed into something beyond his control. He was so competitive, sometimes it scared people.

Johnny sat down in the conference room, where the crew held their weekly meetings. He cursed to himself and looked around. Pontius, Steve-O and Jeff sat and looked at him with smug grins.

“How’re you holding up over there, Knoxville?” Jeff asked, to which he received a middle finger from Knoxville.

“It’s been a long time since I've seen Y/N around? When is she coming by again?" Pontius pouted. Just the thought of your name at this point, could get Johnny hot and bothered.

"I-She's not," Johnny mumbled and rubbed his sweaty forehead. Was it just him, or was it starting to get super hot?

"That's weird. I talked to her this morning. She said, she's dropping by to say hello," Jeff said and immediately, Johnny tensed up.

"What?" He asked. He hated to even think it, but you were the last person he needed to see now.

"Y/N!" Wee-man yelled as soon as he saw your figure in the doorway.

Johnny hid his face in his hands as soon as he heard your voice. He imagined you saying his name, moaning it, screaming it.

"Hi, guys," you smiled and entered the conference room, greeting all of the guys with a hug, moving your way around the table until you reached Johnny. "Hi, babe," you smiled and leaned down to plant a kiss on his lips, although he moved away almost immediately.

You scoffed and stood up. What had you expected? He'd only been treating you like that for the last two weeks.

"Well, I can see that I'm not wanted here," you mumbled but were quickly met with reassurance from everyone but Johnny.

"Why would you think that?" Jeff asked, "we love having you here, Y/N."

"You might, but I think Johnny feels a bit different," you hissed and glared at Johnny, who slapped his forehead.

Suddenly, Ehren began laughing hysterically, to everyone's surprise. "Wait, you haven't told her yet?" He grinned and the boys slowly caught on and joined Ehren's laughing fit.

Johnny was so not having it. His fists were curled and his jaw was clenched. And you, you were utterly confused as to what was going on.

"Told me what?"

You raised your eyebrow and looked down at Johnny, who refused eye contact at all costs, the guilt weighing him down like uranium.

"We dared each other do the no nut Novem-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," you said and cut Ehren off. You were quiet for a few moments, trying to assemble yourself before speaking up.

"You wanna explain yourself, asshole?" You spat and looked down at Johnny, who sighed and looked up at you.

"Y/N, I'm so so-"

"Do you guys know how long it's been since I've had sex with my boyfriend?" I asked into the room and the guys all chuckled.

Of course, they knew. They were a part of it too, after all.

"Two weeks!"

It didn't sound like a lot, but anyone who knew you and Johnny understood that this was totally out of the ordinary.

"You're telling me I have to wait two weeks before he can bang me? How many of you guys are still in this bullshit?" You asked loudly to which Pontius, Jeff, Ehren and Wee-Man's hands went up.

"Fuck this," you sighed. You knew just how competitive Johnny was. Nothing could get in his way. Literally nothing, but then again, if anyone had the slightest chance, it was most definitely you.

-

"Y/N?"

You sighed at the sound of Johnny's voice.

Your fingers were curled inside of yourself as you lay spread across the bed.

You continued, although the sound of Johnny's footsteps came closer and closer.

You closed your eyes and began rubbing your clit, letting out a quiet moan.

"Y/N-fuck," Johnny breathed out when he walked in on you pleasuring yourself. His cock was throbbing at the sight of your naked body, but he denied all of those feelings and shuffled out of the room. The sight had made him hard as a rock.

"Johnny!" You called out. An idea had popped into your head.

He opened the door and peeked in. Your legs were spread open and they were trembling with anticipation.

"Huh?" He asked you. His eyes were almost closed. He couldn't bare to see more.

"Look, I know you're not allowed to cum or whatever, but I'm horny and I need your help," you stated and Johnny's eyes opened wide. You might be on to something, he thought.

Pleasuring you always brought Johnny pleasure, he didn't even have to pull his dick out for this one.

He smiled and rushed over to you.

He wasted no time digging his two fingers into your cunt, plunging them in and out of your wet entrance. His head rested between your legs as his tongue made contact with your clit. You reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair. God, he loved it when you did that.

What he loved, even more, was the way his name sounded when you screamed it out of pure pleasure. "Fuck, Johnny!" You cried and grabbed his one hand that wasn't fucking your cunt and pulling it up to your breast, signalling for him to massage it, which he did, gladly.

Johnny smiled against your folds and licked them up and down, ever so often pinching your sensitive clit between his lips, which drove you crazy.

"I-I think I'm g-"

"Look at me, babydoll," he ordered and you followed, looking directly into his dark brown eyes. You couldn't contain the eye contact for long though, because your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you let out a loud cry as you reached your awaited orgasm.

You tugged at Johnny's hair and breathed in loudly, trying to gather yourself.

"J-Johnny, just fuck me already, please," you sobbed and looked at Johnny.

The offer was so tempting, but he just couldn't. He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt his jeans tightening to the point of it being uncomfortable.

"O-Oh, shi-" he hissed and suddenly flew away from his position. You looked him up and down, eyes landing on the massive boner, he had packed. You held back an evil laugh as Johnny stormed out of the room. "Where are you going?" You yelled as you stood up from the bed.

"I-I'm just gonna go for a drive!" he yelled back and slammed the door. He wasn't angry with you, and you knew that. He was angry with himself. This bet was starting to get really fucking old.

The next days were seriously awful for Johnny. After helping you out, he realised that it might've been a bad idea.

The only thing on his mind was the feeling of your pretty cunt against his fingers and the sound of your screams still rang in his ears every now and then.

And you'd, of course, been making his life a living hell. Walking around naked in the apartment or dressing up in your sexiest lingerie.

Johnny kept himself together, though, and you had to give him credit. He'd handled it all very well, better than you ever could.

(random a/n; this same-ish story, but where the reader is dared?)

The end of November was just around the corner, thankfully. Sure, Johnny's hands were equivalent to magic, but nothing beat the feeling of his cock ramming into you.

You couldn't wait, quite literally. Johnny was so much better at staying committed to a dare than you. You needed him. Like, really needed him.

"Johnnyyyy," you whined and threw yourself at him like a little toddler,

He wasn't as sensitive as before. It seemed that the roles had taken a 180 because you were hornier than ever.

Johnny was sitting with his computer when you suddenly planted yourself in his lap and hugged him tightly.

"What's going on?" He asked and rubbed your back.

"I want it so badly," you whispered and bit your lip. Johnny stiffened up and shifted uncomfortably around on the couch. "Three days to go, Y/N," he comforted you, but that wasn't good enough. "No, but like, now," you said and reached down to straddle his cock. He let out a yelp and lifted you from his lap to the seat beside him as he stood up and paced around.

He was frustrated. It was really not fun anymore. Actually, it never was.

Johnny hurried to his phone and put the phone to his ear.

"Chris, you tell me now and be honest; who's still a part of this November bullshit?" Johnny asked. You smiled to yourself and crossed your fingers.

No one, please say no one.

You couldn't quite hear the rest of the conversation. You didn't really care either, because when Johnny came out, he had darker eyes and a wicked smirk on his lips.

"Go to the bedroom and take your clothes off. I'll be up in two minutes."

You squealed with excitement and ran up the stairs faster than ever.

You stripped out of your clothes and threw them to the side, feeling a knot in your stomach, waiting to be untied.

Johnny entered the room. He'd taken his shirt off on the way up the stairs.

"Get on your knees," Johnny ordered and you did so immediately and without protest of any sort.

The room was pretty dark, but you could still see Johnny's crooked smirk.

He approached you, stopping when he stood right in front of your kneeled figure.

He brushed some hair out of your face and cupped your cheeks as you stared up at him, batting your eyelashes.

He gathered your hair into a ponytail at the back of your head and tied it with the hair tie he had around his wrist.

"Fuck, I've missed your mouth," he moaned and unbuttoned his pants, not even bothering to pull them all the way down. And you were just as desperate to please him again, so without waiting any longer, you took a hold of his rock-hard length and gave it a few pumps. Johnny threw his head back when you put just the tip into your mouth. Impatient and understandably needy, Johnny skipped your slow tempo and grabbed the back of your head, pushing his cock into your mouth fully.

After four years of dating Johnny, your gag reflex was pretty much non-existent.

He began gently thrusting himself into your mouth and then sped up until you eventually could feel his tip at the end of your throat.

You watched with tears in your ears as your boyfriend had lost himself in you, thrusting himself into your mouth again and again until he was a mumbling, moaning mess, cumming down your throat.

You swallowed and Johnny watched you in admiration as he offered you his hand to help you stand up.

Your lips crashed together for the first time in weeks, and you moaned into the kiss when you reached the bed. Johnny put a hand behind your head and the other one on your back, slowly lowering you on the bed as he hovered over you with a hungry, lust-filled gaze.

You were merely wearing his t-shirt and a pair of old shorts, which Johnny quickly tore away, your underwear following. He pulled the shirt from over your head and admired your naked body for a while, before snapping out of his trance to return to his duty.

He began placing kisses down your chest but you pulled him up when you saw where he was going. You grabbed his hand and forced it down to your dripping cunt. "I don't need anything, I just want you to fuck me," you nodded and Johnny smiled. Foreplay was always a big thing in your relationship. It was a way to ensure that both parts were 100% ready, but there was no doubt in your mind; you were ready.

"You're still on the pill despite this stupid bet, right?" He asked and you nodded. He knew how bad you were at forgetting it, and he often scolded you for it.

"Good girl," he whispered raspily. That made your heart melt.

His tip was at your entrance, and you wondered if the three weeks had changed something within you. Was it going to hurt after that long with no sex?

You shook every thought off when Johnny placed a kiss on your forehead and slowly pushed into you.

"Ah-!"

Johnny looked at you with wide eyes. You apologised quietly.

"It must be because it's been a while," you said and Johnny nodded, understanding what you were feeling.

He continued pushing his member into you and watched you closely as you clenched your eyes shut and dug your nails into his wide shoulders.

He rested for a while, waiting for your sign to move, and when that sign came, he began pumping in and out of you slowly but deeply.

You grasped onto him and pulled him as close as possible while also wrapping your legs around his waist. "F-Faster," you moaned with closed eyes and Johnny grunted as he sped up, fucking you at an impossibly fast pace.

Everything seemed to go dull for a short moment. Your pussy clenched and your belly contracted tightly when a wave of pleasure hit you like a thousand bricks.

"I-Oh, my God!"

Your nails dug deeply into Johnny's back and you scratched them up towards his neck, where they rested, fiddling with the ends of his brown hair.

"Look at me, baby," Johnny ordered and continued his thrusts. You had to collect yourself before even listening to his orders, but Johnny was impatient and close to an orgasm, so he didn't have much time.

"Y/N, I said look at me," he repeated. The tone made you look at him immediately and you bit your lip and moaned loudly as you watched him orgasm for the second time that night.

"Fuuuck-urgh, baby!"

He trembled and with one last thrust, he pulled out of you and fell down beside you with a heavy but satisfied sigh.

"This November has been the best and worst of my life," you sighed and Johnny laughed in agreement as he kissed your forehead and snuggled you closer.

-

probably my favourite smut i've ever written, but what do you think?

[black-arcana]

EPICA Releases New Single 'Arcana'

Dutch symphonic metal titans EPICA have released a brand new single, "Arcana". The track heralds a new chapter in EPICA's two-decade-long history and marks the band's first new release since the group's chart-topping 2021 album "Omega" and the collaboration EP "The Alchemy Project". It offers a glimpse into the band’s future music, coming in 2025.

EPICA comments: "'Arcana' guides you through the universal stages of spiritual evolution in life. It leads the way to a higher consciousness and spiritual self-awareness.

"Writing this song was a spontaneous effort, so it came together quickly, which felt so natural that it wrote itself. The music contains classic EPICA elements but has some vibes that might remind you of '80s alternative rock or modern metal."

The single is now available on all streaming platforms. It also includes "The Ghost In Me (Danse Macabre)", EPICA's recently released collaboration with Europe's second-most visited theme park, Netherlands's magical De Efteling, and their much-anticipated new attraction, Danse Macabre.

The music video for "Arcana", directed by Remko Tielemans, can be seen below.

In a recent interview with Spain's Mariskal Rock, EPICA singer Simone Simons spoke about the progress of the recording sessions for the follow-up to "Omega" album. She said: "I think that there should be a single by the end of the summer-ish. That's that's our plan. And the album should be released [in] 2025.

"I just wrote with Mark [Jansen, guitar] and Rob [Van Der Loo, bass] also yesterday that I'm so happy with the songs, I'm so proud how everything turned out and it's gonna be another amazing EPICA album.

"We added a couple of new elements, but also went back to the roots, the old EPICA," she continued. "And yeah, I just can't wait for people to hear this.

"I loved 'Omega' and we toured so much with 'Omega' and had wonderful experiences, but then when you reach the end of a touring cycle, you start to get itchy and feel, 'Okay, now it's time to do the new album. Can we do it as good or maybe even better than the last album?' That's always the thing we strive for, ways to renew ourselves a little bit. And we feel a very strong spiritual connection also that it's our ninth album. So there's gonna be themes around the symbolic meaning of nine, the number nine."

Elaborating on the musical direction of EPICA's next album, Simone said: "The songs are heavy. There's a beautiful ballad, a very cinematic song, very uptempo, very doomy, melancholic and amazing, amazing power riffs. It's the most epic EPICA, I think, so far. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I'm feeling it. I'm very happy with it. I'm proud of it. And they are going to start recording the orchestra now next week. They're flying to Prague; that's where we record the orchestra. And I will be recording my final vocals as well."

In November 2022, EPICA released "The Alchemy Project" through Atomic Fire Records. The EP was co-written and performed with diverse guests ranging from extremists like FLESHGOD APOCALYPSE, Niilo Sevänen (INSOMNIUM) and Björn "Speed" Strid (SOILWORK) along with melodic masters like Tommy Karevik (KAMELOT),keyboard legend Phil Lanzon (URIAH HEEP) and Roel Van Helden (POWERWOLF) to a once-in-a-lifetime song with Simons, Charlotte Wessels and Myrkur.

Just one day after the release of its anniversary reissues "We Still Take You With Us" and "Live At Paradiso", EPICA celebrated 20 years of existence live in September 2022 at 013 in Tilburg, Netherlands, the same place where they played their first show (supporting ANATHEMA) back in 2002.

EPICA was formed by Jansen after leaving AFTER FOREVER in 2002, and the band quickly gained attention outside their home country, taking big steps towards becoming the leading symphonic metal superpower they have long proven to be. After their ambitious debut "The Phantom Agony" (2002) and the surprisingly eclectic sophomore work "Consign To Oblivion" (2005),the road took them to new heights via their first concept masterpiece "The Divine Conspiracy" (2007) and their global breakthrough "Design Your Universe" (2009). 2012's opus "Requiem For The Indifferent", 2014's bedazzling "The Quantum Enigma" and "The Holographic Principle" (2016),cemented their reputation as not only one of the hardest-working metal bands in the business but also as one of the best. With "Omega", the final part of the metaphysical trilogy they began with "The Quantum Enigma", they reclaimed the throne without so much as the blink of an eye, amassing three million-plus streams during the first week of the album's release.

Photo credit: Tim Tronckoe

[harry-on-broadway]

The Last Line: Part Five

Part Five

Word Count: 5.2K || Series Masterlist || Rating: M

***

“It’s perfect.” 

“Really?” Penny blinked. “You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not,” Skylar said with a light laugh. “There are a couple of things we might want to move around, but this will be a very light edit. Great work, Penny.” 

“Thanks,” Penny said, still in a state of shock. “I didn’t think it would be that good. I mean, I didn’t even think about it while I was writing. It was…” she searched for the right descriptor. “Word vomit, as gross as that sounds.”

“We often produce our greatest works when we give ourselves the space to say what we want to say without self-censoring. I wanted the articles in this series to come from the heart and that’s clearly where you pulled this from, Penny. I should have edits to you later this afternoon and we’re well on track to publish it tomorrow morning.”

“Sounds good. I have a couple of calls but I can make time to review it this afternoon.” Penny paused on her way out of the room. “Thank you again. For giving me this opportunity. And for helping me. With everything.” She inhaled sharply, feeling tears prick in her eyes. 

“I’m lucky to work with an incredible person like yourself, Penny,” Skylar said. “Helping you, guiding you, it’s my pleasure.” 

Penny could feel the eyes of her newsroom on her during the brief walk back to her desk. In the weeks since her meltdown in the conference room, Penny’s coworkers had begun to treat with a newfound sense of respect. Darren had been asked to seek other work in its aftermath of the incident and Penny’s subsequent relationship with Skylar had the others viewing her as some sort of deity. 

“Well?” Chloe asked as Penny slid into her desk chair. 

“She loved it.”

“As I knew she would.”

“She said she thinks it’s going to run tomorrow morning.” 

“So soon! Amazing!”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think he’ll…?” Chloe didn’t need to finish her question. 

“I don’t know.” Penny swirled her straw in her cup, trying to get a sip of the vanilla syrup that had gotten trapped underneath the layers of ice and coffee. 

“Has he still been creeping?”

“Yes.” They hadn’t spoken since that night at her apartment and Harry continued to ignore every text and voicemail she left for him, but he was still lurking in her instagram stories. She’d started testing him, posting random and mundane shit like her morning coffee and the song she was currently listening to on Spotify. Regardless of whatever her story was, he was the first one to view it. 

“And do you think he’ll take the bait?”

“I hope so! Otherwise I don’t know what I’ll do. I just –” 

“Hey, it’s fine,” Chloe said, attempting to soothe Penny’s distress. “This is going to work. I promise you that.” 

Hours later, Penny’s Slack app chimed with a note from Skylar saying that edits were ready for her to review. As promised, her suggestions were minimal and Penny cleared them all within a half hour. She knew legal and design and all of the other departments involved would need to sign off on their end before it could be official, but by 8am tomorrow, her words would be out in the world. 

She didn’t know why she felt so nervous. She’s been through this hundreds of times before, but never had she shared something so personal with the hundreds (Or was it thousands?) of people who read the site everyday. It felt like she was giving a piece of her soul for public consumption. All in the hopes of winning back a man who never wanted to see her again. 

She sighed and closed her laptop. “I’m going to head out,” she said to no one in particular, earning a handful of half-hearted acknowledgements from those who were scattered around her. In her car, she opened one of the playlists Harry had shared with her and pressed play. Feeling the music wash over her, she pulled out of the garage and drove home preparing for the most nerve-wracking night of her life. 

***

August 17, 2019 

The Start of Something New 

By Penny Sanders 

This coming November will mark one year since I joined the staff at The Moment and four years since I accepted my first, official, grown-up journalism job. Ahead of these personal milestones, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what it means to be a journalist, specifically one that covers the arts. 

One of the main tenets of being a good journalist is objectivity. You’re there to present the facts in an unbiased way, calling out injustices and holding truth to power. Everyone learns that in their freshman mass comm class. But what they don’t tell you is how that rule isn’t always so cut and dry. 

While I do a bit of everything when it comes to music coverage here at The Moment, my primary role has been that of a critic, reviewing concerts and albums and giving you my honest take on them. It’s a dream job for many, but it’s also one that has caused me a great deal of stress and anxiety over the years. 

I’ve struggled to be harsh (even when a well-pointed criticism is deserved). I’ve struggled to hone a voice, oscillating between gushing fan girl and hardened veteran to appear as if I know what I’m talking about. And I’ve been a victim of intense (at times almost debilitating) imposter syndrome, second guessing that my opinions and ideas are even worth sharing. 

But all that has changed in recent months as I’ve started to venture down a new professional path, chatting with and profiling newsmakers in this industry we all love. Sitting down for these interviews, I’ve always expected the cold formality that has long been associated with an industry presser – say your question and get your answer as quickly as possible, foregoing any sort of human interaction. Instead, what I found was a connection I never knew I had been looking for. 

Recently, I had a chat with an artist who shall go unnamed. I’d reviewed their work before, and while I might have been fair in my assessment of their music, I wasn’t necessarily kind, something that I didn’t realize the impact of until we had a chance to speak face-to-face in an informal setting. As we spoke about our respective writing processes, I had a realization. We were one in the same. We found our way to an industry where everyone speaks the same language, found a pack to call home, and were creating the art we always wanted to, even if it was on opposite sides of the line. That conversation, along with subsequent others, really put into perspective the fact that you can’t separate the personal and professional when it comes to art, as a piece of you will always live inside your creation. 

So, why am I rambling about this and forcing you to read it at 8am as you have your morning coffee? Because I’m making some changes starting today. 

You’ll still see me around town and on the website reviewing concerts and albums (like I’d ever give that up!), but I’ll be expanding my coverage area as well. I’ll be chatting with some of the biggest names in the industry, cutting through the scripted BS and having real, human conversations about the thing we love most: music. I’ll also be sharing more personal essays about my own thoughts and feelings on the business of the day in an effort to start a conversation with you, our readers. 

So, if you’re reading this (and hopefully you still are), what are you waiting for? Let’s chat. My schedule’s wide open. 

***

Penny jolted awake at 6am the next morning. She had a couple of hours before she’d be able to share her article and put her plan into motion, so she took her time getting ready, blasting an early 2000s pop punk playlist while she did her makeup and drank her coffee. At precisely eight, she opened up The Moment’s website on her phone, grabbing the link to her article before navigating to Instagram. 

She’d already preselected a photo – a throwback shot of her in one of her dad’s old concert tees, cheesing hard in front of a record store. She posted it to her story with a quick caption (Tried something new and got a little personal this morning) and a link to the piece. She watched the progress wheel fill as the story uploaded and when it was finished, she opened it again, instantly spotting Harry’s profile picture in the bottom left corner. 

Distraction was essential to the next phase of the plan, so she tossed her phone in her bag, grabbed a thermos of coffee, and started the drive into the office. She could feel her phone burning a hole in her canvas tote, but she ignored it until she was seated at her desk. Her mom and one of her college roommates had replied encouragingly, but there was nothing from Harry. 

Doug, the SEO coordinator, greeted her brightly as he made his way to his cubicle. “Already getting a lot of traffic on it. Great work!” 

“Thanks.” She checked her phone again. Nothing. 

There was an editorial meeting that morning, and then Skylar took her for a celebratory pastry from the bakery across the commons before Penny’s afternoon interview with a photographer. When she finally got to check her phone over lunch, there were tons of notifications, but as she scanned through them all there were none from Harry. In the middle of the afternoon slump, she saw an email come in from Jeff – it was a simple “Nice job!” Not the most encouraging thing, but if Jeff had read it, it was probably safe to assume Harry had as well. 

Tom messaged her a little while later, a long and meandering note professing how proud he was of her and how great it was. The most interesting tidbit came at the end though. I think you’ll be surprised by the impact this has. 

“What does that mean?” she asked, passing her phone to Chloe.

“I don’t know, that you’re the voice that will define our generation?”

“Be serious.”

“I honestly don’t know! On the surface, it seems like a general ‘this is going to resonate with a wide audience’ comment, but maybe on a deeper level he’s talking about…you know.”

“But that’s not your first instinct.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Damn it.”

“Pen, it’s OK. We know he saw your post and that’s a start. Maybe he hasn’t had time to sit and read it but will later today or something.”

“Maybe…”

That night as Penny left the office, her head was somewhere else, deep in a daydream of what it would have been like if her plan had worked. Harry would have been outside her door with a cup of coffee and a bouquet of flowers. There would have been a kiss and maybe a little something else, but most importantly she’d have her friend back. Her eyes were on the ground, so it was the loafers and socks that she saw first. 

“Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me?” she yelped, her heart racing.

“I didn’t know how else to find you.” Harry stood sheepishly slouching against her car door, wide-leg trousers slung low on his hips, bowling shirt unbuttoned just a little too far. 

“You could have come inside the building for starters? Or texted me? I know your phone is still working Mr. Instagram lurker.”

“You knew that was me?”

“It was pretty fucking obvious to anyone that knows you. And we had a bunch of mutuals including Tom, Jeff, and Mitch.”

“Fuck, I thought I was being a little more low key.” 

“Sorry.” Penny shifted uncomfortably. “So-” She was interrupted by boisterous laughter from a group making their way to a group of cars one lot over. 

“Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private to talk?” Harry asked. “If you’re comfortable with that?”

“Um, yeah that would be great. Do you want me to drive?”

Harry nodded affirmatively. “I bummed a ride off of Jeff so I am currently without transport.”

“Jeff’s a good friend. I would have made you hitchhike.” 

Harry snickered as he opened the passenger door and slid in. 

“Do you mind if we make a stop?” Penny asked as she pulled out onto the main road. 

“Not at all.”

“Good. I have a tradition after I publish an article.”

“What’s that?”

“An In-and-Out milkshake. Do you want one?”

“Chocolate, please.” 

Penny cruised through the drive-thru, grabbing the milkshakes as Harry tried to go unnoticed beside her. Ice cream in hand, she continued driving until they made it back to her apartment. 

“This is about as private as it gets,” she said, stirring the thick liquid with her straw. “We can stay in the car if you’d prefer.”

“No, let’s go in.” 

Harry stayed two steps behind Penny as she climbed out of the car and unlocked her front door. He followed her lead, taking his shoes off and sitting down on the couch. He took a sip of his milkshake and Penny mirrored his action. Neither was sure who should be the first to speak. 

“I’m sorry,” Penny said, thawing the awkward chill that had settled between them. “I know that’s an empty word, especially between us, but I just need you to know that I regret how everything blew up. I have an explanation for it all but none of that matters when you were hurt by my actions.” She paused. “I really hope you forgive me, but I won’t ask you to, as what I did crossed a line.” 

“I forgive you.” Harry said without hesitation. “And I would like to hear your explanation for what it’s worth.”

“Oh-kay.” Penny shifted, tucking her legs under her and turning to look at Harry more directly. “So you know how I’ve been trying to mix things up at work, write some more serious pieces? Well, it just so happened that Tom gave me one on a silver platter when he mentioned you were working on a new album. My intent was just to break some news, get a scoop that could show my editors that I could do it. But then I got to know you and you were telling me things that would have made for an amazing story and I just got carried away. I made the wrong choice to keep taking notes and working on this hypothetical story. Then Darren –”

“The asshole.”

“Yes, the asshole. He got involved and it spiraled out of control and things got complicated because of….” Penny trailed off, searching for the right word. “Us.” Penny looked up at Harry. “It’s important to me that you know I would have never published anything you told me after all of that. I value you as a person more than any sort of splashy article.” 

Harry nodded slowly. His face was serene but his fingers were working overtime, twisting the ring on his finger at warp speed. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me like that but just seeing those notes you had…” He chewed on his lip and his eyes grew damp. “It used to be so hard to figure out when someone was using me and when someone just wanted me for me. But thankfully, I’ve become a pretty good judge of that. I thought you were one of the good ones so seeing that just made me really second guess not only what we had and how I felt about us but it made me question my judgment. Do any of my friends actually care about me? It was a rough time. I’m still working through some of that if I’m being honest.”

“I hate that I was the cause of that.” 

“It was bound to happen eventually so don’t be too hard on yourself,” he said with a wry laugh. 

“Well either way…I’m glad my selfish actions helped you grow? That feels weird to say.” Penny laughed. “Anyways, I’m happy we were able to clear the air. I much prefer talking to you face to face instead of watching you lurk on my Instagram stories.”

Harry laughed before placing his cup on the coffee table. “Speaking of talking…I actually did want to discuss something with you.” He cleared his throat.” “That night…the last time we saw each other…what you said? About why you couldn’t do that profile?”

“Mhmm.”

“What did you mean that you love me?”

Penny took a long sip from her drink, buying herself some time to think. “I hated you the first time we met and I don’t know why because I feel like you’re the only person to ever truly understand me. You know what I’m thinking before I say it, you see things in the same way as me, and you make me feel invincible. That day that you read that article that Darren killed…I felt so supported in a way that I haven’t really before, which is like weird to say because I have friends and family who care about me, but standing in that coffee shop with you holding my hand and telling me I was good at my job was something I never knew I needed. But once I had a taste of it, I knew I had to have it forever.” She finished speaking and looked at Harry, who had an indiscernible expression on his face. “That was a lot, I know but you–”

“Can I kiss you?” His voice was low, his question was tentative, and Penny couldn’t even be sure that was what he actually said, but she nodded anyway. At this point, she would have given him permission to do anything. 

He approached her carefully, as if any sudden move would scare her away, cupping the back of her head with his hand and drawing her closer to him. 

Their first kiss was nothing like Penny had imagined. In her dreams, she’d envisioned everything from a quick peck on the cheek after he walked her home, to a feverish, tongue laden precursor to fucking. In actuality, it was gentle, yet firm, and despite the simplicity of it, the gesture was charged with more emotion than any kiss she’d had before. She didn’t even realize how lightheaded she was until they broke apart and she found herself gasping for breath. 

She met Harry’s eyes and exhaled. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that.” 

It was like the kiss had unleashed something lurking deep inside them both and Harry lunged towards her, pressing his lips against hers again and again and again, pushing her flat on the couch, the remnants of their milkshakes long forgotten. Penny tried to memorize every detail: the weight of his body against hers, the softness of his lips on hers, the silkiness of his hair as she ran her fingers through it. She tried to stay in the moment, but the sensation of his body rubbing against hers made it hard to not think about what would happen next. 

“Ow!” Her head bumped uncomfortably against the arm of the couch as she slid down further.

“Are you alright?” Harry asked, pulling back and checking her for any harm. His lips were swollen and his curls were disheveled. “What’s wrong?”

“I just bumped my head.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine. Just a little cramped here.” Penny swallowed. “My bed might be more comfortable. If you’d like to move there.” 

There was a heavy pause and Penny prayed she hadn’t misread the moment.  Harry’s eyes glazed over as he processed what she said. “Um, yeah, that’s great. Lead the way.” 

Penny breathed a sigh of relief as he climbed off of her and helped her stand, keeping his hand entwined with hers as they made the brief journey to Penny’s bedroom. She backed him up into the room, and Harry fell back on the bed. Penny climbed astride him, kissing him again and again and again, and she ground her center against his growing erection. 

They’d waited for what felt like forever, but when they had nothing but time in front of them, there was no need to rush, even as Penny felt herself grow wetter with touch and caress. As Harry sucked kiss after kiss from her lips, she realized she’d never really thought about how hot kissing could be. Maybe it was just that she’d never been properly kissed, something Harry was working hard to rectify. 

Harry wound his fingers in her hair gently pulling her head back to expose the column of her throat. He nipped at the sensitive skin, sucking a kiss from it before soothing the spot with his tongue. He repeated the process up and down her neck until his fingers fell to the hem of her shirt.

“Is it OK if I take this off?” he asked.

“Yes,” Penny said, guiding his hands as they pulled her t-shirt up and over her head. She unhooked her bra as he tossed the shirt aside. Her bra followed leaving her naked from the waist up. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, absentmindedly rubbing his fingers up and down her side as his eyes took in every piece of her. “Come here.” He pulled her close and started kissing every inch of skin he could see. “So fucking beautiful.” 

Penny shifted so one of Harry’s legs was nestled between hers, giving her the pressure she craved as Harry continued kissing her neck. After a few minutes she stopped him. “I’m going to take these off if that works?” she asked, gesturing to her jeans. 

Harry nodded. “I should probably do the same.” He pulled his shirt off in one fluid motion and pulled his pants and briefs down next. Penny couldn’t help but stare. 

“Stop it, I’m shy.”. 

“You’ve got nothing to be shy about,” Penny said, trying not to let on exactly how impressed she was with what she saw in front of her. 

Harry cleared his throat, and Penny couldn’t tell if the flush in his cheeks was a result of their activities or embarrassment. “Do you have a condom?” he asked. 

“Oh, yeah. There’s probably one around here somewhere.” Penny opened the drawer of her bedside table and dug through the mess. “That one is expired,” she said, tossing it to the waste basket. “And this one is….” she squinted to read the date. “Still good! We’re in the clear.” Harry laughed and it was her turn to blush. “What can I say, it’s been awhile since I needed one.” 

“No judgment as I’ve also been in a bit of a dry spell.” Harry took the condom from her and adjusted himself and Penny watched. She was still in shock that this was actually happening and was half convinced that she’d wake up from this dream any minute. 

“Penny?”

“Oh, sorry! Did you say something?”

“I just asked how you want to do this?” Harry asked. “What’s usually best for you?” 

“Oh…” Penny wasn’t sure if she’d ever had a partner ask her about her preference so directly, especially on the first hook up. She scoured her brain trying to think of what she actually liked and what wouldn’t be too intense for what could just be a casual hook up. “Um, usually just missionary is fine. But I also like to be on my knees occasionally.” She cleared her throat. “What about you?”

“I’m going to be honest with you, Penny, I think anything with you would get me across the finish line.” One look at his cock and she knew he wasn’t lying. She hopped up on the bed and got on her knees without a second thought. 

Penny could feel Harry lining himself up with her as she braced her hands against the headboard. It had been a minute since her bed had seen this much activity and she prayed the IKEA frame would hold up. Harry dragged his tip over her and she squirmed with the anticipation of what would happen next. The first thrust caught her off guard and she pitched forward. 

“Careful,” Harry said. His voice was soft, but its usual gentleness had been replaced by something harder. “Do you need me to stop?” 

“Please, no,” Penny panted. He’d reached a spot deep inside on just one thrust and she just needed a minute to adjust to him. The burn of him inside her was unmatched, the perfect combination of pain and pleasure. Harry had wrapped one arm around her waist holding her steady as she adjusted, lightly tracing abstract patterns over her skin. “OK, you can go,” she half whispered, half moaned.   

Harry anchored his hands on her hips as he thrust in and out in a painstakingly slow rhythm. It was torture – for the both of them – Penny presumed, and she felt the beginnings of an orgasm building inside of her. She could feel the pressure of his hand against her hip, knowing it would leave a bruise tomorrow, a thought that turned her on even more. Harry moved his hand up her body, settling on her breast and rolling her nipple as he increased the pace of his thrusts. It was all consuming, but Penny still needed more. She reached down to stroke her clit, the bud already tender and slippery with arousal. She was close, she could feel it. Just one more stroke and –. 

“Can we –?” Harry asked breathlessly as he attempted to flip Penny onto her back. “I want to see you. I need to see you.” Penny complied, her body pliant in his arms as he placed her gently on her back before ducking down for a deep kiss as he locked his fingers with hers. 

He pulled away and gently pushed inside of her, eyes not leaving hers. Even if she wanted to, Penny wasn’t sure she could look away. She was transfixed by what she saw in front of her. Harry’s skin and hair were damp from exertion, and the curls she’d been playing with earlier were pressed against his forehead. She could feel the tremble of his muscles and when she buried her nose in his neck, she got a whiff of the scent that could only be described as Harry. 

“Are y-you close?” Harry asked as his hips stuttered. 

“Yeah, I am.” 

“Can you come for me, baby? I need you to.”

It could have been Harry calling her baby or it could have been the feeling of him rubbing against her clit or it could have just been the intense passion she felt between them, but Penny pitched over the edge, moaning Harry’s name as she fell. 

“That’s it, baby,” he moaned, as he spilled into the condom. “That’s it. So fucking good.” 

He fell forward, resting his full weight on her as they lay there. He pressed kisses against every bit of skin his mouth could reach and she raked her fingers up and down his back and through his hair. Penny didn’t know how long they lay there like that but even when she felt their sweaty skin start to stick together she made no effort to move. 

She wasn’t letting Harry go ever again.  

***

When Penny woke up, Harry’s arm was heavy around her waist and she could feel his breath on her back. He radiated heat and despite the uncomfortable stickiness of the sweat that covered her, she made no effort to move. She had no idea how to define what had happened last night – and again in the early hours of the morning – but she knew she didn’t want this to be the end. 

She could feel Harry stir behind her and she carefully twisted around in his arms to sneak another look at him. He was so peaceful when he slept, his hair a tangled mess on the pillow. He snored lightly, almost like a whistle, and he was most definitely a cuddler. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, lulled back to sleep by the gentle rhythm of Harry’s breathing, only to be jolted awake by the sound of her alarm. 

Harry slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the faint light that was trickling in through the curtains. He looked around, getting his bearings before smiling at Penny as she silenced the alarm.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “I usually don’t have to worry about waking anyone else up.” 

“It’s not a problem,” he slurred, his voice still thick with sleep. “Should probably be getting up now anyways.” 

“You could stay for breakfast,” Penny offered, hoping she wasn’t misreading the situation. “I make a mean egg and cheese and have beans from the coffee shop down the block.” 

“I’d love nothing more than that.” Harry leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips, before rolling over to grab his phone. The gesture felt so normal, as if he’d done it every morning. 

“Shit,” he laughed. “I’m going to have a lot to explain today.”

“What’s wrong?”

He angled his phone so that Penny could read the screen. It was filled with messages from Tom, Tommy, and Jeff. “I told them I was planning to see you and they were very supportive of that decision. I think they’ll be thrilled with this development.” 

“Which is…?” Penny asked, testing the waters. 

“Us being together.” Harry’s eyes widened at Penny’s noticeable silence. “Unless I’ve completely misread this.” 

“No, no, no.” Penny leaned over to kiss him. “I want that. Us, I mean. I just didn’t think you’d want me after everything.” 

“You’re absolutely insane for thinking that, Penny. I’ve been waiting my entire life for you and I’m not letting you get away again.” Penny reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly, knowing that there were no words she could say to accurately convey how she felt in that moment. “Now come on,” Harry said. “You mentioned something about a breakfast sandwich?” 

Harry looked perfectly at home in her kitchen as she directed him on where to find the ingredients for their breakfast. They moved through the small space as if executing a perfectly coordinated dance routine neither of them had been taught, before sitting down at Penny’s table to eat together. 

“What do you have planned for today?” Harry asked. 

“Well, I’m going to go to work and then I’m going to head home.”

“No shows?”

“Not tonight.”

“Well,” Harry said, dabbing the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “I would like to take you out. On a proper date. Could I pick you up at the office? Say around six?”

“It’s a date,” Penny said, smiling from ear to ear.

When the breakfast dishes had been washed and dried and Harry had donned his clothes from the night before, they lingered by the front door, not wanting to say goodbye. 

“A kiss for the road?” Harry asked. Penny stood on her tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “I’ll see you later then,” he said, unlocking the door. 

“Harry?” she asked, suddenly bashful. “You don’t have to answer, but what made you give me another chance?” He was so quiet, she wasn’t sure he had heard her. 

“It was your article,” he finally said, turning back to look at her. “You got me with the last line.” 

***

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has read this far and has stuck with this story despite its infrequent updates. This one was really personal for me to write so I greatly appreciate all of the ten people who have read this. 🫶🏻 Would love to hear what you think of the end!

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taglist: @harrysfolklore​ @platinumbarbie143​ @majasophieanna​ @lukesaprince​ @styles217​ @andwhenshesays​ @be-with-me-so-happily​ @hslllot​ @b-reads-things​ @awesomenavy​ @sweetwanderlust05​ @permanentllyharry​ @reveriehs @very-berry-harry​ @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite​ @jerseygirlinca​ @st-ev-ie​ @kahluamystery97​ @indierockgirrl​ @copiastricycle​ @autumnleaves1991-reads​

[mugiwara-lucy]

Now some may be wondering why I’ve been so gung ho on Early Voting/Mail In Voting? The reason is because as we’ve seen in the last couple of weeks Trump and his cult are going to no doubt try and steal the election as evidenced by them trying by to make Nebraska a “winner take all state”, having Georgia do hand ballots, keeping Kamala’s name off the ballots in Montana (while miraculously leaving on RFK Jr’s 🙄) and trying to pass that “Save Act nonsense” along with Trump shit talking our troops that vote overseas.

All of what I mentioned is ACTUAL election interference. Thankfully all of them except the Georgia hand ballot thing have been shoved to the side although even that is being contested next week so hopefully that gets scrapped too. The reason this is actual election interference is because counting hand ballots by hand is no doubt mentally exhausting but you’re bound to make an error (and you can believe MAGA will make an “error” 😒) and you’d know this if you’ve ever done inventory at work, you’d know this. The Save Act screws married women since youzmd have to have the same name you were born with and making Nebraska a “winner take all” state would have NO DOUBT been an unfair advantage for Trump and as for leaving off Kamala’s name in Montana, there is NO excuse for that. Funny how the party of “law and order” is involved with all this untrustworthy nonsense. 🥴

But yeah sorry to segue in all that, I just wanted to let you know the shit MAGA is putting on is and how we can best combat them and I feel mail in ballots and early voting is a GREAT counter to that! Also I feel it worth noting that Trump said if he gets in office, he’s putting Elon Musk in charge of the government and both say they will do away with both mail in ballots and early voting. Gee I wonder why 😒

But yeah anyways, here are the Early Voting Dates:

And here’s your link to request a mail in ballot! Though please keep in mind when you get your mail in ballot, like I say, make sure to deposit it AT the USPS office! That way you can avoid MAGA mail fuckery! Here’s the link to sign up!

And well if you just wanna be old fashioned like me, here are the dates which list the deadlines and when it’s the last day to sign up to vote on November 5th as well as the link to register to vote itself.

Guys we’ve done so well and because of our hard work; Kamala has a lead in Arizona, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Wisconsin. (Which is why MAGA is even more unhinged with their fuckery eye roll) but we can NOT stop here. We can NOT afford to take our feet off the breaks UNTIL Kamala wins and is in the White House. And even then this is NOT the end of Project 2025/Agenda 47/180 Transition Plan (new name same shit), it will only be delayed.

In short, PLEASE PLEASE VOTE in ANY way you can. Either Mail In (with the tip I shared), Early or ACTUAL IN DAY VOTING of November 5th!

If we fail and we get Trump….we can DEFINITELY say goodbye to voting since don’t forget two months ago he said and I quote “you won’t ever have to worry about voting again. It’ll all be fixed.” We all know what that means when he says “fixed”.

And we also enjoyed several events like Pride Month this year. With all his talk about “Christianity and going after Anti-Christians”, if he gets in, this could legitimately have been our LAST pride month.

And like I’ve always said if he gets in, he’s not leaving until he croaks and if that happens we get someone like JD Vance or Elon Musk as president.

I’m sure I don’t have to explain how HORRIFIC that would be. And keep in mind, our economy STILL hasn’t fully recovered from how bad Trump fucked us over even FOUR YEARS LATER.

So in short let’s NOT blow this. Thank You 🙏

[finnglas]

In order to explain my cats' latest obsession, I have to give you some history. Behind a cut, warnings for Cat Illness.

In 2015, both K and I were working a lot and I felt bad that my>our cat, Luna, was being left alone for hours on end. So we decided to get a second cat - thus, Evie joined the family. Now, being that Evie was about 2 years old and Luna was about 5 years old, they didn't really enjoy the Sudden Roommate Situation [SRS]. It took a lot longer than normal for the introductory methods to work. (They still tolerate each other more than anything but they seem to have made their peace, eight years on.)

Anyway, we got Evie in November of 2015 and in January of 2016 I lost my job and Luna also developed an ongoing UTI due to the stress of the SRS. (Between this and the Politics Situation at the time, I was so stressed I skipped my period for almost seven months. I don't think any of us have recovered.) Anyway, so Luna had to go on antibiotics, and the antibiotics gave her diarrhea, so we also put her on probiotics, but the probiotics (I learned later) gave her worse diarrhea, and the stress of constant upset stomach meant that she kept having ongoing UTIs which meant ongoing antibiotics/probiotics, etc., in a vicious cycle. I'm still mad at that vet because they refused to slow down to consider me asking "what if the fact that it's making her sick is contributing to the infection" and kept just assigning more rounds of antibiotics that I couldn't afford. Yeah that credit card JUST got paid off two months ago.

A N Y W A Y. The result of all this is that it tore poor Luna's stomach up to the point that she couldn't eat any kind of dry treat or kibble. Literally, one Greenie treat would instantly give her the shits. This means that both cats have been on wet-food-only for like, seven years. It's expensive, and not great for their teeth, but also Luna wasn't shitting herself constantly so you take what you can get. I occasionally tried samples of kibble that advertised themselves as Sensitive Stomach Formulae over the years but none of them were successful.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, when I was at my parents' for my dad's surgery and Kellie stayed home with the cats. She had to go get some more wet food for them during this time and while at the pet store, she eyed a bag of kibble that said it was for Sensitive Stomachs and had a strong impulse to Try It. So she got a small bag. Texted me about it. I said "You're awfully brave trying that while I'm not home to give her a bath when her back end winds up covered in poop at 2am."

But miracle of all miracles: Luna can tolerate this kibble. We started very very small - less than 1/8 of a cup once a day - and have been working our way up. We are at 1/6 of a cup once a day now, and there has been no stomach upset!

This is great news for multiple reasons, but one of them is that we can now have an automatic feeder which means that we can take short overnight trips without needing a cat-sitter. For long trips, of course, we'd still want someone checking in on them and giving them their supplement of wet food.

We have one such short overnight trip coming up in two weeks, so I took advantage of Black Friday sales on one of my favorite pet brands (their water fountain also came from PetLibro) and ordered them a two-bowl pet feeder. It came in yesterday (love Black Friday being a week long now) and I set it up last night. I tested it at the time by having it dispense 1/12 of a cup of kibble. Worked great! tipped most of it back into the granary and let the kitties have a couple of pieces as a treat.

WELL. They now cannot enter the room without paying tribute to the Fickle God of Kibble, aka Sammy the Automatic Feeder, just in case he has decided to dispense more kibble.

They just had their first scheduled 9am feeding, and both of them ran around like they were losing their minds before diving in mouth-first, so I am deeply amused and will be watching these developments with interest.

[seoafin]

morgan how are you doing ☺️☺️☺️ any new life updates?? anything to look forward to in the last half of the year 😗

hiiii friend <333333 looks like this half of the year is looking much better than the last half! but i don't want jinx myself. hopefully though fingers crossed lmfao

as for life updates I got an astrology reading done at a friend's party last week and by the end we were BOTH crying. like she read me 10x over i was so shook by the end of the night i literally went by the water with a beer and sat for 2 hours contemplating my life. anyway im interning at a pretty well known literary agency for a couple of months. anddddd im (tentatively) trying to go to the faroe islands in november 😁

honestly yeah im applying to grad school this year and im relatively confident I'll be able to get a job full time if not but im also really heavily thinking of just taking off and traveling full time for the next 1-2 years! maybe if i decide to go grad school this year after my internships end i'll just travel until grad school starts but we'll see! i'm also trying to move abroad to the UK in the next year or so LOL

[afairmaiden]

The Others (Part 6*)

For the Inklings Challenge (@inklings-challenge).

*Not a typo. Takes place two weeks after part 4, but I'm late enough as it is.

Sunday, November 13

I went to bed with every intention of getting up early (or as Ellen would say, at a reasonable hour) and finally joining the family for church. I wasn’t looking forward to it. My light sensitivity was growing worse by the day, and I felt a migraine coming on at the very thought of being around so many others for any length of time, but I thought if I kept my eyes shut and pretended to pray through most of the service, I might be able to endure it for a couple of hours without drawing too much attention to myself. It would be worth it to support Julia. But I woke up to find the sun already high and the house empty once again, except for the cat. There was a note on the bedside table.

Tried to wake you. Service starts at 9 but feel free to come late. Expect the hearing to start at 10:30.

I stared at the paper for a minute, then threw it aside and fell back into bed. I lay there for some time until I started feeling hungry, then slowly got dressed and made my way down to the kitchen. I was just looking through the cabinets to find something for breakfast when I heard a knock at the window and looked up to none other than Julia peering in.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I opened the door. “I thought you’d be at the church. Weren’t they even going to let you speak?”

She gave a rueful smile and waved her hand dismissively.

“Not much point in that. Not when they’ve already made up their minds.”

She seemed to be taking it pretty well, but I felt my heart sink with hopelessness. She was the first—the only—normal person I'd met here, and now—what would happen to her?

I'd tried to get some details out of Sarah, but she hadn't been able to tell me much.

"What are they going to do?" I'd asked.

"There's going to be a trial."

"Yeah, I got that part. But what then?"

"Everyone's going to know," she had said, her eyes wide, as though that were the very worst thing in the world.

I had surmised that meant shunning, or possibly exile. Hardly the worst possible outcomes, but it still seemed terribly unfair.

“What are you going to do?” I asked Julia.

She looked out the window, to where her horse was tied to the fence. There was a long silence.

“I have to get out of here,” she said at last, then met my gaze. “They’re going to kick me out anyway. I might as well go on my own terms.”

“But where?”

She shrugged. “Maybe I'll go to the city. It's only a quick jaunt across the river.”

I stared.

“Or maybe not. But you know, there are other places out there, other people, who aren't— And anyway, anything would be better than this.”

For a moment I thought she would ask me to go with her, but she didn’t say anything.

“Is there anything I can do?”

She smiled again, a real smile, and gave me a fierce hug before whispering, “I’ll need some supplies. I grabbed what I could, but we didn’t have much in the house. I just need enough for a week or two.”

I looked out the window again, trying to gauge how much time we had. The next minute, we were in the basement, pulling things off the shelves. I felt the briefest twinge of guilt, but reasoned that Ellen would hardly miss a few things, and even if she did, she could hardly object to helping someone in need, especially when it was her fault Julia was in this mess to begin with.

In the end, she only took some bread and cheese, a small sack of potatoes, a few onions, a jar of cooking fat, and a box of preserves. After she had gone, I cleaned up and sat down in the living room to wait for Ellen and the children to return. It was almost noon before they finally arrived, all looking far more subdued than usual and saying little as they immediately set to work making lunch.

I was just helping David set the table when Ellen said to Elizabeth, “Run down and fetch some potatoes, would you?”

I found myself holding my breath as she made her way down, hoping she wouldn't notice the missing sack, and breathed a sigh of relief as I heard her turn back toward the stairs.

A moment later—

“Oh! We're out of salt.”

Ellen’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. The box is empty!”

“That can't be right.”

Ellen set down the pot she was holding and hurried down to see for herself. A minute later, she returned, a look of unmistakable worry on her face. I didn’t say anything and kept my eyes on the dishes. I could practically feel her staring at me.

“Was anyone here earlier?” she asked after a long silence.

“Julia stopped by briefly,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. “She said she needed a few things. I didn’t think you’d mind. Just some bread and potatoes—”

“And about four pounds of salt,” she concluded flatly.

I was spared from having to answer by a well-timed knock at the door. Ellen quickly went out to see who it was, while the children immediately began whispering among themselves, and I continued to ignore them. It was a few minutes before Ellen returned.

“Well,” she said with forced cheerfulness, “that was Mr. Walther. He and his sister are taking a group down to the lighthouse tomorrow and wondered if you would care to join them.”

“Oh! Are they still going?” said Elizabeth. “I thought they might not—”

Ellen smiled. “He said they would hate to disappoint you all, and they supposed it would be a nice distraction from everything.”

Now Sarah said she'd hoped to finish her sewing tomorrow, and David said he was working on something as well, but James and Elizabeth were both excited to go and could talk of little else. No more was said about the salt that day.

Monday

Monday morning, I did wake up early, though I deliberately waited until they’d started breakfast before slipping into the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. I was nearly done with my meal when there came a knock at the door and I heard Sam’s voice call out, “Morning all! Who’s ready for a field trip?”

James and Elizabeth jumped up at once and ran to the door. Ellen followed after them. I heard her exchange a few words with Sam, and then they both returned to the kitchen. He smiled and tipped his hat to me and greeted Sarah and David before saying, “I guess you’ve heard my sister and I are taking the children out today. We’ve got a fairly sizable group, so I was wondering if you might be interested in coming along as an extra chaperone.”

I didn’t particularly want to, especially after our last meeting, but I also couldn’t think of a good excuse to get out of it, and as the only alternative seemed to be helping Ellen bring in the latest delivery of firewood, a minute later I was awkwardly exchanging greetings with Jess while throwing on my coat and putting on my shoes. Ellen offered me a lunch basket and a bag.

“You shouldn’t need this, but you can’t be too prepared,” she said, glancing up at the sky doubtfully.

I couldn’t see any cause for concern when there were only a handful of wispy clouds in sight, and more than half the group had already taken their coats off, but Sam only nodded and said, “Of course. Can’t be too careful.”

Soon enough, we were off, three adults and sixteen children between the ages of seven and fourteen. The “lighthouse”, as they called it, was about a ten minute walk past the west field, a two-story brick building with a sort of steeple, built on a high foundation by a big river, with dense woods all around. The lighthouse keeper was waiting out front to greet us. He shook Sam's hand, tipped his hat to the children, and nodded politely to me, but seemed to pay particular attention to Jess. His sister also came out with a tray of refreshments, after which there was a brief tour, beginning with the grounds around the building and leading up to the light itself.

After the tour, the children were allowed to explore a bit, on the condition that they stay in groups of three or more, the younger ones with the older ones, and they keep well away from the river.

"Be sure to keep within sight of the building, come when you're called, and shout if there's any trouble," Sam said.

They all agreed, and soon they had fanned out in all directions, some going back inside, and some playing in the garden, while a few of the older ones headed into the woods to gather sticks for a fire. Jess sat with the lighthouse keeper on a bench by the front door, while his sister stood some distance away, keeping an eye on them and the children playing in the back, while Sam and I both wandered here and there, periodically checking in with everyone. About the third time we crossed paths, we started to walk together.

"I guess you're pretty well settled in by now," he said. "Got everything you needed in town last week?"

I nodded.

"Good. Figured you would. I know Ellen always thinks of all the details."

"Does she?" I muttered.

I hadn't meant to say that out loud, let alone loud enough for him to hear. I realized my mistake as he suddenly stopped walking and looked at me.

"What's the matter? Don't you like her?"

I could feel my patience wearing thin and just barely refrained from rolling my eyes.

"Of course I like her," I said quickly. "What's not to like? It's just...don't you think...the people around here—"

He gave me an odd look.

"It is pretty different out here, isn't it?" he asked after a minute, as casually as if he were commenting on the weather.

For the briefest moment, I'd hoped he might understand, that our shared background might mean something to him, but there was no denying that he was well and truly one of them now, with all the same aggravating sympathy and condescension, and the seemingly effortless, ever-present brilliance that felt like a mockery of all I'd dedicated my life to these past few months. And he didn't even know it.

“She—she left the children alone with me!” I finally blurted out.

He blinked in confusion. Then, rather than acknowledging this as an alarming sign of supreme negligence, he only shrugged.

“So? I reckon they’re old enough to mind themselves for a few hours. They were hardly in any danger.”

“I could have been a danger!”

He actually laughed. “Oh, please. I saw the state you were in that day. I was more worried about you than them. Fact is, if it really came down to it, you couldn’t have taken one of them in a fight, let alone all four.”

He remained entirely unbothered as I reiterated my concern about the risk of disease, practically rolling his eyes when I asked about the protocols for quarantining new arrivals.

“You got a bit roughed up and caught a chill running through the woods. It was hardly cause for a civil emergency. They brought you to the Halls' because they were close, and hardier than most, and they did keep to themselves for a few days. You know, we do try to avoid unnecessary risks, but there’s only so much anyone can do, and if doing our best and trying to help someone causes a plague to break out and kill us all, well, I suppose that's just God's will.”

That hardly inspired confidence.

“But really,” he added, “from what I remember, they would barely let sick people out of their rooms, let alone city limits. You were fine.”

We walked in silence for a few more minutes, turning our attention back to the children around us. It was some time before he spoke again.

“Did you hear Julia Thompson is gone?”

“I know.”

Of course he must have known that. Ellen must have told him everything. Ten to one they'd be calling for a new trial within the week.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where she went, would you?” he persisted.

“No.”

“Did you know she has a daughter?”

“What?”

Now I was the one to stop and stare.

“Her name is Isabella,” he said. “She’s twelve. That’s what kicked off this whole thing, you know. After the incident at the quilting party, a few of the ladies went to the Thompsons’ to have a chat with Mrs. Thompson, and they found Isabella alone, sick in bed. Doctor wouldn't comment on it of course, but anyone could see it was a shameful case of neglect, hardly the work of a few days. She’s at the doctor’s house now, where she’ll be staying until her father returns. I understand they would have asked Ellen to take her, but they supposed with everything else going on, she had enough on her plate. And now—”

He shook his head. “Look, I don't know what sort of sob story Mrs. Thompson was feeding you, but they were only hoping to get through to her, to bring her to her senses, not kill her, which is what's likely to happen if you go running off into the woods in mid-November.”

For a while I didn’t say anything.

“I guess you think it’s my fault for letting her go,” I said at last. “And I guess Ellen told you I gave her food.”

His brow furrowed in confusion, and then he shook his head.

“I can’t blame you for that,” he said quietly.

I stared at him.

“She was your friend. You thought she’d been wronged, and you wanted to help. That’s not it.”

“Then what?” I snapped.

“I guess I just don't understand why you're so determined to make excuses for her.”

Because I understood her. Because we were the same. Because—

Just then, one of the older boys waved Sam over to a spot overlooking the bank of the river, where a small group had gathered to look at something. I took the opportunity to slip away in the opposite direction, toward the treeline.

I had hoped for at least a few minutes alone, but sure enough I soon heard footsteps behind me, and turned to see Jess following.

"You'll have to excuse Sam," she said apologetically. "He's been under a lot of pressure since Dad died. I guess we all have."

I gave a noncommittal nod.

"Still," she continued, "the neighbors have been a big help, and it is a comfort to know he's not in pain anymore."

Of course that was all well and good, but I couldn’t help asking, “But didn’t you ever think of trying to go back?”

“Back?” she echoed.

“I mean, they might have been able to help him, in the city, if you’d just—”

She gave a sharp, humorless laugh.

“Why do you think he was in a wheelchair to begin with?”

I stared at her in shock. She returned my gaze with a look of disbelief.

“What, you didn’t think we left just for the fun of it?”

Now that she mentioned it, I didn't recall the exact reason behind their disappearance coming up in our last conversation, but of course I had assumed they’d gone willingly.

"I suppose we might have tried, if we'd known. Dad always said we were bound to run into trouble someday, but I don't think anyone ever expected—"

She paused.

“They’ve done this before, you know. More than once. Sending people out here to— They told Zane Benson they wanted him to map out the area. They told Victoria Alley to report on the deer population after a bad storm. They didn’t even bother with pleasantries for us, just gathered us up, threw us in a van, and dumped us in the middle of a clearing some ways northwest from here, said if we hated the city so much, we could try our luck in the wilderness.”

“Why would they do that?”

She shrugged.

“Why not? They don’t exactly have a high regard for human life. That said, I don’t doubt they have some purpose behind it, besides an easy way to get rid of troublemakers.”

She looked at the sky. I looked up as well, trying not to look like I believed her. Not for the first time, I had the distinct feeling of being watched.

“It’s been a dry summer you know. We manage alright out here, but I imagine things are a bit hard when you’ve got a city with a million people in it that can’t get water.”

I felt my jaw drop. “You’re implying they’re sending people to die in the wilderness as some sort of sacrifice?”

For a minute she said nothing, and then—

"How did you end up here, anyway?"

"I got lost."

She raised her eyebrows. "Lost?"

"I was taking a walk through the preserve, stepped a little off the trail and got turned around. Then it got dark and I tried to orient myself by the moon and just...kept walking. I figured I'd have to hit the fence at some point, but..."

I shrugged.

"And this was Sunday? The twenty-third?"

I nodded.

"Oh."

There was a long silence before she looked out toward the house. We'd been walking just inside the treeline and were now coming to the back garden, where a number of younger children were playing. We parted ways without another word, as she went to check on them, and I walked deeper into the woods.

I found that the further I went, the easier it was to breathe. Here, away from everything and everyone, I could almost imagine that the past few weeks had been only a weird dream. Maybe I had simply had a bad fall in the woods, and Zay and Nikki and the rest were out looking for me. Maybe—

I closed my eyes and tried to center myself, breathing in and out and sensing my surroundings, the way Gina had taught us in the very beginning. After a few minutes, I tried calling out.

Hello? Is anyone there? Can anyone here me?

There was silence, but a different kind of silence than in town. I tried again, calling up every light thought I could think of, repeating the list of ideals I had always held dear.

Peace, safety, harmony.

I felt myself growing more and more relaxed.

Tolerance, acceptance, inclusion.

The wind began to blow.

Openness, authenticity, diversity.

I imagined myself as a full Lightbringer, a sworn defender of all light and truth, a guide to the blind, a light to those in darkness, and an instructor of the foolish.

We will not allow our lights to be dimmed.

The sky grew dark.

I opened my eyes to find that night had fallen without warning, and the winds had grown violent, freezing cold and wet and blinding with icy snow. On top of the wind was another sound I couldn't identify, a sort of howling, and then—

There were voices in the distance, their direction unclear.

"Inside! Inside! Let's go!"

Suddenly there was Jess's voice yelling my name, and the next moment, her hand grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me up and out of the woods.

Even less than fifty feet away, the building was barely visible in the storm, and yet when we finally reached the door and I looked back toward the woods, I could see a number of unmistakable black figures standing among the trees.

"What was that?" I gasped one Jess had finally pulled me inside.

"Freak blizzard," she panted. "They come up without warning sometimes."

"No, I mean—in the woods—didn't you see?"

"I can't see anything," she said, groping for the door to the stairs. "Oh! We should've lit the lamps already."

She opened it just in time to hear Sam calling roll.

"Jess!"

"We're here!" she shouted back.

We found everyone gathered in a large room at the top of the stairs. The lighthouse keeper offered us towels, blankets, and hot drinks, and directed us to sit and warm ourselves by the stove, where Jess joined his sister in comforting a few of the little ones who had started crying, and I was relieved to find James and Elizabeth among the rest.

"Alright, alright, now there's no need to fuss," Sam said. "These things happen sometimes, but the good news is that we're all safe here, and once the wind dies down a bit, Mr. Andrews will let your families know you're alright."

Everyone listened, and after a minute it seemed that it had grown quieter outside. Mr. Andrews nodded, took an odd sort of instrument out of a box,—"Bagpipes," Jess whispered in response to my inquiring look—and went up a second set of stairs, and a moment later we heard what sounded like two loud horn blasts, one short and one long, ring out directly overhead, followed by two short blasts that sounded like a question. There was a long pause, and then there came a response from further away, then another, and another, and another.

"All's well," he announced when he descended at last. "And the light's certainly doing its job now, though I pray no one's out on the water in this weather."

"Well now," said Sam, "I suppose we'll all be hungry, so why don't we have our dinner now, and then we'll have a few songs."

Now Jess, Miss Andrews, and a few of the older children went downstairs and returned with everyone's lunch boxes and baskets. Mr. Andrews offered a blessing and a prayer for protection from the storm, and we all sat down to eat as though we were having a picnic. James, Sarah, and I had butter and jam sandwiches, cheese, pears, and hardboiled eggs. When everyone was finished, Mr. Andrews brought out his bagpipes again.

I endured I Walk in Danger All the Way and A Mighty Fortress is our God well enough, but about halfway through Jesus Sinners Doth Receive, my light sensitivity, which had been lying dormant for most of the day, suddenly flared up again when the entire room seemed to be ablaze with unspeakable brilliance, and I quickly had to excuse myself.

I found my way down to the kitchen, then shut myself in the walk-in pantry, the only room without any windows. I don't know how long I sat there before I heard Jess calling.

"Bree?"

"Here."

"Are you alright?"

"Headache."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

There was an indistinct whisper, and then a moment later, she opened the pantry door, holding a lantern.

"Ah. One moment." She scanned the shelves and found a small bottle, took out what looked like a bunch of leaves, and handed them to me. "Chew on these. They'll help."

With that, she shut the pantry door, added some more wood to the stove, and went back upstairs.

About half an hour later, the sounds upstairs had died down and I felt safe enough to head back up. I found the lantern waiting for me on the table, and Sam waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"You alright?" he asked.

I nodded. I knew I should have been grateful for his concern—he was being nice—but I couldn't get past our earlier conversation. Apparently he couldn't either, because after a long pause, he sighed and leaned back against the staircase.

“Look,” he began, “I don’t know exactly what she told you, but the fact is, we’ve all heard her talk. There’s hardly a soul in town that hasn’t helped her out in one way or another, and none that wouldn’t have done more if they’d thought it would make any difference, but it was never enough for her.

“Now, my family came here with nothing. My father was badly hurt. He couldn’t get out of bed, let alone work, for months. Still, they welcomed us, taught us, gave us a place to live, food, clothes, everything. The people here—they’re more than just nice; by God’s grace, they’re good. And you may think that’s all nonsense, but they really believe it, and so do I. So you’ll excuse me if I get just a little bit heated when some whining, gossiping busybody goes around slandering some of the best people I know because they wouldn’t bow to her every whim.”

I couldn’t very well argue with that. All the same, I couldn’t help saying, “You’re not the only one who’s had a hard time, you know. She told me. She lost her parents, her brother—”

“Everyone’s lost someone,” he said shortly. “We lost our father, the children lost their mother, Miss Hall lost her fiance, and you don’t see any of us—”

We heard a small gasp and looked up to see Sarah at the head of the stairs, evidently too shocked to be concerned about being caught eavesdropping.

“Aunt Ellen was engaged?” she whispered.

“What, didn’t you know?” asked an older boy standing behind her.

“Of course they wouldn’t remember it,” a girl answered. “They were practically babies when it happened. I remember.”

“Now,” said Jess, “I’m not sure we should…”

But it seemed useless to say anything, because now all the children were listening with rapt attention.

The girl continued, “Aunt Ellen was engaged to Aunt Julia’s brother Matthew. What did you think all that fuss over the ring was about? It was her engagement ring.”

James addressed the first boy who had spoken.

“Is that why you call her Aunt too?”

“Of course. I thought you all knew that, but I guess I can see why she wouldn’t like to talk about it.”

Again, Jess looked like she wanted to step in, but Sam seemed to be almost amused by the whole thing, at least until Elizabeth asked a question.

“How did he die?”

He instantly grew sober and looked around at all the children waiting wide-eyed for his answer.

“Smoke inhalation,” he said at last. “The Stewarts’ house caught fire, and…Bethany was inside.”

In an instant, the room erupted with a sound that rivaled the storm still raging outside, with shouts of how dare she and it’s absolutely monstrous. A few of the girls started openly sobbing, and even Jess was wiping away tears.

Amidst the chaos, Sam caught my eye.

“You didn’t hear?” he said flatly. “Bethany Stewart was missing. Three weeks ago. For nearly four hours. Seems Mrs. Thompson was having a bad morning and decided to vent her frustration by telling Bethany it was her fault her brother died. Poor girl started crying and ran off into the woods. Of course her parents were furious. If anything had happened to her, it would have been murder. Praise God nothing did happen.”

My mind flashed back to what I had seen.

“Are there—are there animals out there?”

“Mostly deer, and some smaller animals. The bears and other large animals generally don’t come too close. But Bethany also has some…challenges that make it more dangerous for her to be out alone. Anyway, that was the second thing.”

The scene might have gone on longer, but Sam finally decided to put an end to it.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough now,” he called. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

It took a while longer to get everyone settled down, but eventually the boys were settled in one room and the girls in another. I slipped downstairs once more on the pretense of checking the doors while they had their prayers, then came up again when I thought the coast was clear.

“Good night,” Sam said from the door of the boys’ room.

“Good night.”

“Oh, by the way,” he added with faint smile, “the city’s a hundred miles from here, and the twenty-third was a new moon.”

[deadlifts-and-deadlines]

Gonna dump everything from my appointment yesterday here so I can remember it.

Rheum wanted GI to switch me to Rinvoq after positive RA diagnosis in November. GI doesn’t want to switch me off Stelara because it seems to be working, even though the last couple months have been a little rough. We looked at my injection schedule against my notes on when I started getting sick again each month and determined that I am metabolizing Stelara quickly and would benefit from moving my doses to every six weeks as opposed to eight weeks. So we’re going to see if insurance will allow that. Basically, I’ve already been through two of the strongest biologics for Crohn’s, and the doctor doesn’t want to prematurely take me off Stelara until we’ve exhausted all my options with it bc once I’m off it I will build up antibodies. He would much rather see me add in methotrexate, hydroxychloriquine or plaquinel rather than disrupt something that is actually working for me. Which I agree with - and I actually had huge reservations about Rinvoq. I was willing to try it, but I would have been disappointed had it come to that bc I really don’t want a daily oral medication and the side effects - mainly severe acne and sun/heat sensitivity- made me nervous.

Honesty, I’m relived we aren’t giving up on Stelara. I do think I came off the Humira too quickly, even though I think ultimately I would have had to do it anyway regardless. The fact that I had injection site reactions every time wasn’t good, even without factoring the major joint pain. But I was at the point where I would do anything to avoid that shoulder pain, so I didn’t hesitate to stop.

So yeah. Stelara every six weeks if insurance will approve it. Need to get back to rheum to see if I can get an RX over the phone for the RA or if I will have to wait until my next appointment in June. GI also told me that if a joint locks up again I can go to the ER for injections to help it unlock and pain killers, and that an ER visit would likely help me get into rheumatology sooner. They’re scheduling me for another colonoscopy, and honestly I am stoked, lol. Post colonoscopy is the only time I’ve ever felt truly “cleared out” and I am a very data driven person so I will be happy to have something to compare the colonoscopy from 2022 to. I had labs yesterday and they all came back within the normal range. Have to take in a stool sample this week. Honestly, things went as well as they could have, I think.

[warmaidensrevenge]

Eddie Munson x Fem!plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: ok this is pure self indulgence. And I just returned to work from vacation and this story kinda took me. So I hope you like it. Thanks for reading and as always feedback is greatly appreciated. Kay love ya byyyyyeeee.

Warnings: language, drinking, inappropriate behavior towards a female, smoking, a touch of violence and not proof read and no word count

Summary: Eddie gets a job and finds a coworker extremely attractive.

November 1988

It was his first day working on his own. Eddie had finished his two week training on the Extruder at the plant. He was happy to find out at the start of his shift that a few of his uncle's buddies were going to be working with him too.

The first hour went by with nothing big happening. Some finished products had just come off the line and Eddie was banding it with green plastic straps. That's when he saw a blue light flash by him and he looked up and saw a forklift driver waiting for him to finish so that they could take the load.

When he looked at her, he really couldn't see her all that well. She was wearing ear muffs and a mask covering her mouth and nose. He really couldn't make out if she was actually a girl. It was winter time and she was bundled up pretty good. Though Eddie was hot as hell. She must have been freezing her ass off driving around like that. But how he was sure you were a female is when you got off your lift and went to talk to someone across the way. He saw your large hips swaying and your full chest being hugged by your winter vest.

You were a larger girl but he swore he had never seen a girl of your stature move as gracefully as you did. He figured he would stop starting so that you wouldn't think he was a creep. So he finished the task at hand and went back to the machine. He heard a honk and turned to your lift. You didn't look at him you just picked up the load and left.

You did that for the entire shift. And only once did you look at him. He couldn't be certain if you smiled at him because of the mask. But by how your eyes squinted and your eyebrows wriggled he definitely thought you smiled at him. He had asked the guys what your name was but they kept calling you the wicked witch/bitch. Which took him back.

He didn't get much information from the guys so he opted to ask his uncle. At lunch he went to sit with Wayne and asked about you. But before he could answer you walked in with your wallet and went to buy a cup of coffee. Once you got it you left.

" Okay so?"

Wayne took a bite out of his sandwich. " That's y/n. She's the one who sends us pies for Thanksgiving and cookies for Christmas."

" oh shit that's her. Man I love her apple pie."

" Yeah. I like her molasses cookies the most. She's a sweet girl."

" Then why do guys call her the wicked witch?"

Wayne shook his head. "You know how I look like I'm not happy all the time?"

"Yeah."

" Well that's how she looks. But people don't see her smile because she wears that mask."

" why does she wear that?"

" Because where her main job is, it gets really dirty and dusty and it makes it hard to breathe."

" That doesn't sound safe."

" That's why she wears the mask. Wait when she leaves, you'll see how dirty she gets."

Eddie nodded and finished his lunch. The last hour of the 8 hour shift he didn't see you. But for some reason he wanted to. He wanted to talk to you. But then all of a sudden he saw you walking to a machine and used the air hose to blow off all the dust that was covering your pants and shirt. You had taken off your ear muffs. That's when he noticed you had a bandana on and a helix piercing. You had a couple of tattoos on your forearm and were wearing a Van Halen tee.

You were already checking off boxes in Eddie's list of the perfect girl. He watched as you finished blowing yourself off and left. The next four hours dragged on for him. The person who was your relief really sucked at their job. They let shit pile up before slowly taking the product away.

When Eddie went on his final break he walked through the tender shop and saw you working on a machine. He had to do a double take to see if it was actually you. He had thought you left already. He saw you leaning into a machine fixing something.

His break was over quickly. The entire time he kept wondering about you. Seeing you with tools in your hand did something to him. Another check mark. A girl who isn't afraid to get dirty.

When he walked out of the break room he ran right into you. You guys exchanged sorrys and did that awkward dance trying to let the other pass. Your laugh filled his heart and sent butterflies flutter in his stomach. Then you put both hands on his biceps and moved him to the side. He felt a heat rise from his chest to his neck when you did that. He tried to give you a smile, but all he could manage a half one. You laughed again and walked into the break room.

...

Eddie thought about you all night. And was actually looking forward to seeing you the next day. His uncle told him your department doesn't have overtime so you pick up some poor guys OT when you could. Even if that meant a pay decrease. So you were a hard worker. And you could cook.

Check and check.

The rest of the next month he didn't see you much. He found out that your department was on a rotating shift. So you had to work all three shifts throughout the month. He actually looked forward to seeing you now. Whether it was just a few minutes or just a glance.

He wanted so badly to talk to you. Hear that pretty laugh of yours again. But he never got the chance too. That was until the company Christmas party. The only reason Eddie even went was because he heard you go every year. So while in the dance hall in a lodge he and his uncle headed to the open bar and got 2 beers and grabbed some food. Normally Eddie would sit at home and eat a microwave dinner and watch whatever Christmas movie was on. But tonight was really fun. All the games and conversations were something he wasn't quite used to. He kept an eye out on the door waiting to see you come in. He was finally gonna see you without all your gear and he knew you would be just as pretty as your laugh.

But you didn't come. He was very disappointed and decided to go out and have a cigarette. The moment he stepped outside he saw someone sitting on a bench just off to the side. All he could really make out was her long hair in a beanie and that she was smoking.

He slowly walked towards the bench and saw you. You were looking at the lights just across the little tree brush. Your full lip wrapped around your cigarette. Slowly blowing the smoke out and humming a Christmas carol.

Eddie stepped on some snow causing a crunching sound that made you turn to him. You gave his this beautiful smile and his heart skipped a beat.

" Hi."

"H-Hey." He said nervously.

"Eddie right?"

" Y-yeah."

You looked away and smiled softly.

" You're umm y/n right?"

" Uh huh." You said taking a last toke of your cigarette and tossing the butt.

Eddie had forgotten why he went outside in the first place.

" How are things in there?" You asked while getting up.

" Umm okay. They should be passing out presents soon."

" Oh. Okay." You said walking past him.

The smell of your perfume invaded his nostrils. You smelled so sweet. He stood there frozen. He was cursing himself for being so damn shy.

"You coming?"

Eddie turned and saw that beautiful smile again.

" Uhh yeah." He said following you back in.

You went to a table that he and his uncle were at. You took off your beanie and your peacoat. Revealing a long sleeve black velvet dress that fitted you perfectly. The sight of you could have brought Eddie to his knees. Just as he thought.

Fucking gorgeous!

You noticed him gawking at you and you just grinned sitting down. He quickly took the seat next to you and smirked. He offered to get you a drink needing one himself. He grabbed another beer and a coke for you. He thought it was strange that you didn't want to drink at a party but he shrugged it off.

You guys hit it off pretty well. The moment you said that you liked his Dio vest he knew he liked you. The fact that you knew who Dio was had him swooning.

You crossed your legs and your dress rode up a bit. He caught a glimpse of your knee tattoo before you pulled your dress down. His mind went berserk. He knew how much a knee tattoo hurt and he was in fucking aww. He had to adjust himself because his growing erection was starting to push against his zipper, making his pants tight.

Looks good dressed up too.

Check.

As the night went on some guys got a bit rody. You had gotten up to get some desserts when a guy from the maintenance department stumbled toward you. By your body language you didn't like what he was saying to you. You took a few steps back but he kept inching toward you. Eddie stood up to go to your rescue but Wayne grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

" Sit down son. Just watch. She can handle herself."

Eddie was confused as fuck. You needed help.

He looked back at you and saw you actually take a step closer to the guy and then put your hand on his shoulder. With one quick movement you kneed him right in the balls. You took a step back as he keeled over. You lifted his chin and Eddie heard him call you a cunt. Eddie's mouth dropped when you laid that guy the fuck out.

CHECK, CHECK. MOTHER FUCKIN' CHECK!

You came back to the table shaking your hand and sat down next to him.

" Cookie?" You offered up a plate.

He laughed taking one. " You're bad ass you know that?"

You shrugged and laughed too.

You shared your cookies with him and his uncle.

" so umm" you leaned in so that only he could hear you. " Want to get out of here?"

" Uhh y-yeah. Sure."

You smiled and stood up. He got up too and helped you with your coat. He turned to Wayne.

" Hey. You think you can get home alright?"

" Don't worry about me boy. Go have fun. Be safe."

Eddie nodded and turned back to you.

" Ready?"

He grinned. " Been ready babe."

You shook your head and he followed you out.

...

Eddie's groans filled the warm air of your living room.

" Fuck!" He groaned as you giggled.

" You're really bad at this." You teased.

" Well seems like you had more practice than me." He chuckled.

" Just a little." You said with a smile.

You move to get a bit more to get comfortable. Eddie watch you get really into it. But when it was his turn he cursed.

He threw the controller down and sunk into the couch when his character died once again.

You snickered going for the last cherry on the screen.

When the next level started you paused the game.

" You know when you said let's get out of here, this is not what I thought you had in mind."

You laughed again turning your body toward him.

" Oh? And what about Mrs pac man doesn't get you going?" You teased.

He chuckled" Yeah. I thought maybe....I don't know."

" you thought we'd have sex."

" Well umm yeah. But don't get me wrong. This was totally fun too."

" Huh. Well you kinda have to take me out a few times before we get to all that."

Eddie tugged at his bottom lip. You wanted to go out on a date? With him?

" Or not. It's totally up to you. But I gotta say. I'm not like that."

" No. No. I umm I just didn't know that you were into me. That's all."

" Well take me out and you'll find out how much." You gave him a sweet seductive smile.

He chuckled. " You're something else you know that?"

Your smile faded. " I hope that's not a bad thing."

" No. It's mostly definitely not. You're cute. And I would like to take you out."

He saw you blush then picked up the controller again. He grabbed the other one too.

He had to admit that this was the best Christmas he had ever had. And he looked forward to spending more nights like this with you.

...

@salenorona23

[claudiajcregg]

S5 Pregnancy AU - I’d love to hear about!

Welp, this is embarrassing – mostly because this has been sitting in my inbox for almost two weeks, and I kept saying “I need to write something up!” and then… I didn't. (Or rather, I did, then I forgot to post it.) Sorry for the wait, Lil! Thank you for asking <3 (I'll divide this up because I keep writing about the process and how it came to be, instead of any actual, interesting facts.)

I have talked about this one in the past though I don't have a tag for it. The gist is what it says… (Early) S5 but CJ is pregnant. I had this idea over a year ago when I hit mid/late S4 in my rewatch. I thought it'd be interesting to explore some of her disappointment at that time if you added an unexpected pregnancy to it, even if I had the idea before even getting there, lol. Think, the ending-ish of Han, or parts of Disaster Relief. (Both of which do feature! I surprisingly focus a lot on Disaster Relief.)

The thing with S5 is that the timeline is so weird, and I feel I've also created one that isn't entirely realistic but I think it works within the story. (IIRC, the season starts in “May” but also July, then the Shutdown is in November, lmao. A few of the episodes are sneaky two-parters that flow into each other… See 5-6, 7-8.) I've finally gotten out of the no-man's-land I wrote myself into and the next chapter or two, knowing myself, will deal with 7-8! There are a couple of scenes that should be fun to write! (There are so many details I want to mention that are technically spoilers for early twists…)

Every time I had the urge to write it, I'd edit whatever outline I was working in, and though I kept some details… my muse decided to make a big change early on that completely changed the fic's direction. That, and my inability to write anything succinctly. No reason why this story will cross the 100k barrier in a couple of chapters, tops. (It's sitting at 85k across 12 chapters. I think it'll be less than 20 chapters total. Hopefully.)

This might be too long to share snippets, but I've shared some either on the server or here, a couple of months ago.

For more irrelevant details on the “process”…

As I hinted at, I wrote an outline or two around this time last year, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. When I say outlines, it's a general path for the story to follow – ideas, suggestions of dialogue and/or scenes I write to myself; all focused around some sort of chapter structure. I find it much easier to write if I write down where a chapter might go, even if it's just a few lines saying “This happens → then this → finally this;” otherwise, it takes me months. Some would say that I should post it and get encouragement that way but… I hate being dependent on something I can control even less than my muse? That's not for me, thank you. Mad respect for those who work like that.

It was meant to be short – 1-2 “long” chapters per trimester, more if needed, but then interludes in between trimesters. It's not that. Most chapters currently cover 1-2 weeks, but there is not really a pattern. I was afraid of having a fic that would take over my life like the WOWO did three years ago… And it has, but I've also taken breaks and not felt too guilty about them. I definitely don't want this one to sit in my drive and have me wondering what to do with it.

(The novel, aka WOWO, aka IM AU (2021): 150k written in a little over five months, even with extended breaks over the summer. Still hits, even with all its crazy decisions, maybe because of them, but it's also been too long, and it will always remind me of someone who kinda hurt me. Attempts to replace those memories by sharing the story with others, trying to gather whether it's worth posting, have failed, lmao. One day! Maybe!)

But yeah. Uuuuuhhhh. As I've said… Twelve chapters in ten months, 85k words… It's still not done. In fact, I've repeatedly said I am unsure of how to end it (beyond the obvious), but I'd estimate it to be under 20 chapters. I'm not posting it anywhere yet because I want to be able to edit it as a whole and try to make it more consistent; to add little details as I come up with them. There's also the fact that I am not skilled enough to write a compelling story that mixes politics and emotion into something remotely engaging. As a result, the story's politics are very surface-level, and probably repetitive at points, but it's also true I've always been more interested and focused on the emotional journey and the relationship(s) at its center. (Which should surprise exactly no one who's ever read one of my stories.)

But, as critical as I might sound of myself here, I am having fun writing this and I'm committed to seeing it through. I just keep having ideas for stories down the line, putting actual show events through a 'but she also has a kid' perspective.