#me being angsty about being an angsty teen under the cut. be warned
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shieldsurf · 11 months ago
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something i often want to talk about a lot is the unique way in which i was othered as a trans teen by other trans teens in high school. i was kind of treated like shit and it was often very clearly expressed that there was an in-group that i was not and could not be part of, for reasons i don't know or understand... was is because my hormones were so fucked that, completely out of my control, my body was twisted into a caricature of femininity considered almost grotesque even by cisgender standards? was it because i wasn't able to socially or medically transition to the same extent as my peers by virtue of being a minor with unsupportive parents? was it because i was fat and some flavor of neurodivergent that made me an intense and awkward teenager?
i don't know. but it fucked me up. honestly more than my transphobic parents did. i mean, at least my parents were just on their face shitty to me. i didn't expect acceptance from them. but the other trans people in my life? i thought the trans community was supposed to provide support for each other, but they didn't want me either. it was a pretty huge blow to my self esteem and it's definitely affected my modern relationship with the lgbt community, particularly other trans men. i'm constantly torn between wanting to fully embrace my trans identity and community and become a fun freaky queer, and straying away from it and trying to be "normal" because as a teen i was repeatedly rejected and turned away by other trans people. i still struggle to trust and genuinely befriend other trans men because they were largely the source of my inter-community alienation back then.
i know one of them, by the time he was about to graduate, realized he was pretty awful to me and confided in my twin sister that he felt bad. she told me that apparently he was aware that the way he treated me was wrong, and he'd said a lot of stuff behind my back that he regretted, stuff about me being a trender or a fetishist or whatever. i'd been out longer than him, longer than almost all of my classmates, and i'd never faltered in my identity or how i presented, but i guess that didn't matter. regardless, he never mustered up the courage to apologize to me directly. and my reputation with other trans students never recovered.
i don't know how i really feel about all of this anymore. it was both so long ago and not very long at all. mostly it just makes me wish i didn't come out until i was an adult. at least then i wouldn't have weird complexes today about trans men and how i'll never fit in to what they want and expect from me. oh well
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shadowgast-recs-weekly · 26 days ago
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Cultural Differences: A Shadowgast Rec List
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This week, we have cultural differences! Check under the cut for 10 fics that explore the differences in Caleb and Essek's cultures and how it affects their relationship, and don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!
Courting of the Caleb by VexedVixen (6884, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes, Choose Not to Warn
Beau realizes Essek is courting Caleb before Caleb does.
Reccer says: Good world building, it’s cute, and plenty of both Caleb and Essek being flustered!
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The Secret Romance of Essek Thelyss by Cardinal_Daughter (18629, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
All Essek wants is to celebrate his and Caleb's anniversary and present him with a very special gift. Naturally, nothing goes quite as planned.
Reccer says: I liked it!
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Double Dip by Defiler_Wyrm (622, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Caleb’s Empire table manners threaten to ruin a perfectly pleasant dinner. (He’s going to get away with it, the little shit.)
Reccer says: Just a saucy little slice of life, pun intended.
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Fine Things by Defiler_Wyrm (1296, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Essek is accustomed to luxury on a scale that Caleb finds baffling and troublesome. Sometimes, though, he has a point.
Reccer says: This is a fic about culture clash in terms of class, and about poverty trauma, handled gently. I tend to think that the class disparity between Caleb and Essek must be a touchier thing to navigate than the broader Empire vs. Dynasty ones, and that's exactly what this fic is about.
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Love Letters to be Tossed in the Fire by Anonymous (61367, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Caleb and Essek get to know each other through a series of letters
Reccer says: This fic is creatively and beautifully written. I love the different ways the letters are sent. The two wizards learn about each other and their different cultures through the course of this fic, especially at the end.
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Loose Translation by owlaholic68 (58379, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Due to an incredible comedy of errors on the part of the Cerberus Assembly, what is thought to be a pesky bureaucratic for one meddlesome Caleb Widogast, turns out to be a powerful political alliance and symbol of peace and unity between the Dynasty and Empire… through the marriage of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss and Caleb Widogast. Canon compliant until episode 141.
Reccer says: This is one of my all time favorite fics! The author does an incredible job at writing the political intrigue, manages a beautiful balance of the fluffiest fluff you could ever imagine with an undercurrent of yearning and angsty misunderstanding, all the while exploring the worldbuilding of the Kryn Dynasty in a way that is soso tasty. Truly, this is an addicting read that had me screaming, kicking my feet, and hyping up the characters to “go get his ass!!” all throughout.
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Love in Creation by LuckyOwlsFoot (1662, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Caleb watches Essek work, and learns a little about the role of lace making to the Kryn dens.
Reccer says: The author does a great job at describing the physical motions of tatting, I felt like I could see it and understand what was happening despite have very little understanding of the craft- this really added to the visuals of the fic.
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The following three fics each received two recs!
of blossoming hearts and glittering souls by quinn_of_aebradore (77995, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Caleb and Essek realize they've caught the Feelings, and try to figure out how to propose to each other, with each other's different cultural customs
Reccer 1 says: It's so soft and sweet, it's a lovely read <3 Reccer 2 says: This fic is so sweet. It's so sweet. It pulls no punches when it comes to expressing emotion and revolves around the entire proposal, engagement, and marriage/lovebinding procedures with such depth and care. Read it and weep (the happiest of tears)!
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but i didn’t do it right, can i try again, and again? by queenbeetle (53385, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
An already together Caleb and Essek play at Dynasty courting rituals, but they keep their hands off each other long enough to play the game?
Reccer 1 says: I’m gonna be so straight forward this fic is SUPER hot. There is a phenomenal scene with gloves, and I will say nothing more. I really enjoy the cultural differences as seen through courting thing, especially when theres some misunderstandings about the levels of intimacy something might imply sprinkled in- and this definitely has that! Reccer 2 says: It has a delightful build up with a very rewarding and steamy pay off!
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Indecency by RainyDayDecaf (5898, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence, The fic is tagged with graphic depictions of violence, the scene written is about canon typical levels of violence
The many times Essek and Caleb accidentally court one another by Kryn or Blumenthal traditions and when they finally do it on purpose!
Reccer 1 says: Not only is it very cute, the world building is also very smart. The Blumenthal traditions that are made up by the author feel very in the spirit of what would be considered romantic to the way Caleb grew up. They clearly took time to flesh out his background and folk traditions just as much as they do Essek’s high class courting etiquette, which is a true treat! Reccer 2 says: It's wonderfully written and descriptive! Also just very funny and sweet with lots of good pining.
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Want more fics that explore cultural differerences? Check out our previous rec list on this subject!
This is one of our weekly communally-generated shadowgast rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. 
And hey, anyone includes you!
Next week, we'll be featuring getting nerdy about magic! Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!
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baldurs-writers-3 · 3 months ago
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Astarion: A Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfic Rec List
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This week, we have Astarion Centric fics! Check under the cut for a whopping seventeen fics all about our favorite vampire spawn, and as always, give them a comment and kudos if you like them!
The stars began to burn by peregrinefeathers (87k, Mature) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Gale
An AU where instead of having an orb lodged in his chest Gale got stuck in a book. Then when a vampire spawn opened that book he got stuck in that vampire spawn's head. This is the best thing that has ever happened to Astarion; within 15 minutes he's running out of the Szarr palace into the sunlight. Then adventures begin!
Reccer says: a slow burn, like bloodweave is obvious endgame but it takes a while to get there, and Astarion is written /so/ well
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Uncrossed Lines by Asidian (1209, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion & Wyll, Astarion & Halsin, Astarion & Karlach
Friends don't let friends get hurt and/or pressured into doing things they don't want to do
Reccer says: Just an incredibly sweet depiction of people recognizing Astarion's boundaries and helping to enforce them, whether he's expecting them to or not. I love it
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Hydnellum Peckii by OctolingO (4403, General) Warnings: talks of Astarion's past but no gruesome details Pairings: none
Astarion is doing a great job hiding what he is from the party, until they reach the Underdark and he has nothing to feed on.
Reccer says: this is so angsty! i loved Gale being too curious for his own good and trying to help and be supportive, and all of Astarion's fears of getting kicked out or killed, bc nobody could ever be in his corner, and having anyone in a position of power apologizing *to him* like that's so foreign - this gave me so many feels!
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caught between the dark and the dreaming by Raayide (18925, Teen) Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Pairings: Astarion & Friends
Marcus wants answers, and no one is going to give them to him, unless he forces them to. Astarion is the unlucky target forced to drink a truth serum.
Reccer says: Absolutely delicious whump and found family comfort afterwards
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of death potential and death absolute by Raayide (39119, Teen) Warnings: Derealization Pairings: Astarion & Gale, pre-relationship
Astarion is never quite sure, until the moment Cazador lies dead before him, whether this entire adventure is anything more than an extremely vivid hallucination.
Reccer says: this story takes Astarion and twists him up into a little heartbreaking ball of a premise that makes him think everything is just a dream, and how desperate he is to stay in the dream rather than waking up. it retells most of the game with a tight focus and some lovely lovely characters scenes, everyone gets a moment in the spotlight!
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Those left behind by Gally (73949, Mature) Warnings: None Pairings: Past Astarion/Karlach
What's Astarion to do after the Absolute is destroyed and the love of his life is now dead?
Reccer says: Lots of funny. Lots of sad. Lots of excellent characterization and slow but steady healing
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All it Cost Me by HydieMurderBabe (38529, Explicit) Warnings: Ite explicit, very raunchy and Durge elements of rougher kinds Pairings: Durge X Astarion
Two traumatized nubbins heal from their pasts. Lots of sex and violence ensues.
Reccer says: Its funny, its raunchy, its detailed and most of all I feel like Im invested in the pairing
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Collision Course by VakarianSyndrome (123444, Explicit) Warnings: No warnings. Tropes: Modern Girl in Baldur's Gate, found family Pairings: Astarion/F!OC
Set in Baldur’s Gate, this series follows Adelaide, a human woman from Earth, and her somewhat clumsy attempts at navigating this new and fantastical realm. In the process, she falls for Astarion, the pale elf, vampire spawn with level 100 rizz.
Reccer says: It starts out really funny, but then gradually gets serious where needed. The buildup between Astarion and the OC is spicy and sweet, and the smut delivers! And it's completed!
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No Good End in View by not_whelmed_yet (60,797, ongoing, Mature) Warnings: Character death (temporary), torture Pairings: Astarion/Wyll/Karlach
Astarion doesn't get time to be terrified of the party, because Wyll cuts off what he sees as a feral vampire spawn's head long before he can try to seduce them. The only problem is that this doesn't kill him. And it continues to not kill him.
Reccer says: this is an achingly beautiful exploration of a team that gets off not so much on the wrong foot but on a freefall - each doing horrible things to each other in ways that all read perfectly understandable from their point of views, but have wretched lasting consequences. the author writes them so in character that I want to throttle them and fall in love all over again
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What Could Have Been by Bella1433 (70000, Explicit) Warnings: There is mention of past sexual trauma, its Explicit, and goes into dark territory but not dead dove. Pairings: Named Tav X Astarion
Astarion's transformation into a vampire lord and Sima's fight to reclaim their lost love thrust them into a perilous dance of power, obsession, and redemption.
Reccer says: Its dark, rich, has a different tone and some of the most immersive writing I've read
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the ghost of elturel by Raayide (4452, General) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion and Zevlor
Astarion and Zevlor meet, talk, hate each other, and hate themselves. There is nothing particularly of note about any of it.
Reccer says: Recognition of self in the other tied with some amazing introspection and metaphor
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Circus of the dead by Ineadhyn (5995, Explicit) Warnings: Rape/Non-con, graphic violence, self-harm Pairings:
A dark horror circus AU with Astarion, Cazador, and his other spawns.
Reccer says: This is so beautiful, tragic, gripping, and I'm utterly obsessed with everything about it.
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No Good Deeds by Garnett Gibson (39715, Explicit) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav
A young woman trying to be a good person gets corrupted by Astarion as they navigate the tadpole issue.
Reccer says: Delicious slow burn and creative deviations from canon.
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The Lord and his new ways by FartasticDurge (26459, Explicit) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Coercion, Manipulation, Abusive Relationships, Dissociation Pairings: Astarion/Tav
Ascended Astarion and Spawn Tav's post-game turbulent relationship from Tav's POV.
Reccer says: She struggles between doing what she thinks is right and obeying him, and seeing her process is interesting. In the latest chapter, they go to therapy, a unique twist for Ascended Astarion.
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In Time by FartasticDurge (16927, Explicit) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Pairings: Astarion/Tav, Astarion & Gale
Post-canon fic where Astarion is looking for a Tav who died and reincarnated into another person. Gale helps him find her, but things take an unexpected turn when they find her.
Reccer says: Astarion POV, a lot of D&D lore, the friendship between Gale and Astarion is interesting and supportive. Tav and Astarion's roles are reversed; he is being nice and she is suspicious of him, which is a nice twist with funny moments.
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How Far You've Come by Garnett Gibson (5481, Explicit) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav
Astarion's obedient consort has come a long way, but sometimes she still steps out of line.
Reccer says: I liked it!
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If Only For One Night by Terrormisu (682, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav
With their party always busy, Astarion finds himself longing for his little love.
Reccer says: It's a short sweet one shot that made me feel all warm and squishy inside. Hehe. But even the implied intimacy was steamy.
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The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ!
Next week, we’ll be back with another character rec list, this time focusing on Family!
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new-revenant · 4 months ago
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In a Random Alleyway in Norrisville (2730 words) by FeverProject Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Danny Phantom, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Randy Cunningham & Danny Fenton Characters: Randy Cunningham, Danny Fenton Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Danny Fenton Has A Bad Time, Randy Cunningham Has A Great Time, that basically summarizes the fic ngl, Mentioned Guys in White | GIW (Danny Phantom), Blood and Injury, it doesn’t happen IN the fic but Danny is not doing too good, Generous Use of Ellipsis(…) Summary: For the @dp-crossover-angst-week-event on Tumblr. Prompt - July 9th: Bleeding out in an alleyway. DPxRC9GN crossover. It’s not too angsty-I mean Danny’s having a terrible time, but Randy is Randy, he’s having a great time.
Fic on here under the cut:
Randy loved patrolling. Well, only sometimes. He definitely loved playing Grave Puncher more than patrolling most days. Thankfully, this was one of those days where he was having a honkin' good time. It was just so fun to parkour up and down and all around the buildings in his town, how could he not love that. How could he not love being The Ninja period? Sure it was definitely frustrating and unfair some-well, most times if he was being honest, but still, he was The Ninja, how bruce was that?!
Now, being Norrisville’s protector, he obviously had to help the people he came across who needed his help. Like, rescuing a kitten stuck in a tree, or stopping some random purse snatcher. The usual things people are in need of.
Helping out a guy that was bleeding out in an alleyway? That was new.
Randy was perched upon the edge of a rooftop, looking down at the bleeding, humanoid figure. He has bright white hair and tan-ish skin, and was in this weird, black and white, skintight suit. It kind of reminded Randy of a hazmat suit, if only the hazmat suit was severely shrink wrapped and was painted with tar.
And he was glowing. That. That was not normal for normal humans to be doing. His blood was also glowing. And green. Randy leaned forward, trying to get a better look at the guy. Unfortunately, he leaned forward too much, and swiftly fell off the roof, bumping on everything he could’ve possibly bumped on on his way down. He landed right next to glowing guy.
Randy shook himself off as he sprang up, looking at the guy. The boy looked back at him, eyes slightly unfocused with a bit of glowing, green blood coming out of his mouth. They looked at each for a moment, Randy being confused about what to do. He carefully stepped back and around the boy, all the way to his other side. The boy’s eyes followed him, making Randy feel a bit uneasy. But he was The Ninja, he’ll be fine.
Randy crouched down, scratching his chin in thought. “You don’t look Stanked…” Randy mumbled, a bit loudly, “but you definitely don’t look like a normal human either…”
The odd boy blinked at him, confusion evident on his exhausted face. He mumbled something back, but Randy couldn’t hear it. So he leaned over his face, ear a few inches from the boy’s mouth.
“What you say? You feeling shnasty?”
“What?” the boy croaked, “Wha-what words?”
“Hmm? You don’t know what ‘shnasty’ means?” Randy pulled away from the boy, looking down at him, “Must not be from here then, am I right?”
“…Yeah, yeah.”
“Alright! Now, how about you tell me where you’re from, and I’ll get you back, free of charge. I would take you to a hospital or something, but I don’t think they would take…this well.” He gestured all over the glowing boy’s body.
“Ha!” The boy coughed a bit, “They definitely wouldn’t.”
“Say, do you think you’re going die…soon, if you’re untreated? Because I don’t want any preventable deaths in my conscience. You seem like you’re a…teen? As well, so that would definitely make me feel worse.”
The boy laughed at that, and Randy couldn’t help but smile underneath his mask. Making other people feel better-emotionally or physically-feels great! Great for his conscious.
“Well, I’m already dead, so, I’ll probably get better soon.”
“You’re what?”
“Dead. I’m a ghost. Name’s Phantom, just escaped a ghost hunting group. You…aren’t with them, right? You aren’t wearing white, so I don’t think you are.”
“Huh.” Randy blinked a few times, trying to figure out what was just told to him. “So your name’s Phantom, you’re a…ghost, and you escaped from white-wearing ghost hunters?” Ghosts definitely weren’t the weirdest thing he’d encountered, but it wasn’t within his usual territory.
“Yep,” Phantom said with a pop to the p, “they stopped before I got here, yelling about some crazy ninja in town. Guess that’s you, huh?”
“Exactly! That’s me, The Norrisville Ninja! But you can just call me, ‘The Ninja.’”
“Great, fantastic,” Phantom let out a sigh, “Guess I have you to thank for my short reprieve. Hurray.”
“Yep! You don’t seem too concerned about those hunters though.”
“I’m more concerned about how uncomfortable the ground is.”
“Oh! Let me help you with that,” Randy lifted Phantom up by his armpits, moving him over to a wall to lean on. He was surprisingly light for a ghost-actually, he would’ve been surprisingly heavy for a ghost.
Randy stepped back to observe his work, seeing how he successfully managed to prop up the ghost boy. He looked unamused, for some bizarre reason. Randy stepped a bit closer to observe Phantom’s injuries, and a few were still bleeding. With his quick thinking, he figured out a solution to this. His scarf was magical, like the rest of his suit, and could regenerate after being cut. Which meant he had an infinite supply of makeshift bandages!
Moving quickly, Randy ran around Phantom, holding up his scarf to measure the wounds. Phantom eyed him, confused as ever.
“Uh, what are you doing?” Phantom asked.
“I’m giving you some certified Ninja-Scarf-Bandages!” In a swift motion, he cut up his scarf with his sword into numerous pieces of various sizes, showing them off to Phantom. After a moment, he gave the ninja a thumbs up, and Randy quickly wrapped the ghost up.
“Feeling any better?” Randy asked after he was done.
“Nope.”
“Great! I-I mean, not great. Yeah.”
Phantom laughed again, and it was great until he started coughing. Then he coughed some blood, which was definitely not great.
“That’s shnasty. Which is…probably not the appropriate thing to say right now, but it’s fine,” Phantom laughed at that-he seemed to laugh a lot for a bleeding guy, but he was also already dead, “A-uh, anyways…I have no idea what to do now. I guess you can stay? Here? Until…I dunno, it’s safe?”
“…Really? You’ll…just let me stay here?”
“Sure if you just don’t bother anybody here. I don’t think they would be too happy about a ghost roaming around, you know?”
“Oh I know, ha. You’re…a weird ninja. It’s weird for a ninja to be…roaming around right?”
“Well yeah, but I’m not just any ninja, I’m The Norrisville Ninja. I’ve been the protector of this town for around, I dunno, 800 years?” He said the last part with a smile. Even though he wasn’t actually the ninja for 800 years, the mantle having been passed onto him a little less than a year ago. Still, he had to keep the charade up, it’s safer and also brucer that way.
“800 years?!” Phantom shouted, which made him cough.
“Yep! You seem like you could have some water with all that coughing you’re doing. Wait, can ghosts drink? Or eat?”
“Oh, yeah, I can. Don’t need to but I can,” his voice was very raspy now, “Then I’ll talk more, and stuff. Yeah.”
“Schweet! Do you have any money or something, I forgot my wallet.”
“Heh, yeah, okay. Just…buy me a burger as well,” Phantom stuffed his hand through his chest, pulling out a wallet.
“Oh. My. Cheese! That’s so honkin’ bruce! Your body is like a locker, I wish I could do that. Actually, I’m pretty sure my suit can do that…”
“Just take my money and help, please.”
Phantom held out a handful of dollar bills for the ninja to take. Randy gracefully took the money and counted them, and he could definitely buy more than a water and a burger with this much. Maybe ghosts didn’t understand the concept of money? Of maybe Phantom was just bad at math, or money. Or both.
“You know, you should be a bit more polite,” Randy chuckled as he stored the money in his scarf, right next to his sword. Phantom just looked at him blankly, clearly not amused. “Now, don’t move. I’ll be back in like, 10, 15-ish minutes? Depends on how long the line is, if there even is any.”
“Well, I can barely feel my legs, so I’m definitely not moving anytime soon.”
“At least you can still feel them, right?”
“…”
“Right?”
“…”
“…I’ll-I’ll be going now.”
“Good luck, don’t die.”
“Not planning on it! Smokebomb!” And in a pungent puff of smoke, The Ninja was gone.
….
Danny had no idea what he was going to do. Should he try to escape and pray that he would be able to get back home now, or should he wait and trust in this-apparently 800 year old-ninja, that promised to get him a burger. He was thankfully lucid enough to not mention the GIW by name, since who know what connections this ninja could have, but he did let slip that they wore all white. There was a reason some people called the the Guys In White, and the ninja could’ve picked up on that. He could’ve know that Danny was talking about them.
Was the ninja going to sell him out to them? Was this the end for this already half dead teenager? He couldn’t contact his family, his friends, no one could help him now. Even if this ninja was supposedly 800 years old and also this town’s protector, and if he really was on Danny’s side, could he stand a chance against the GIW?
Danny missed Amity Park, he missed his home. He had strayed too far-ever so slightly too far, far enough that the GIW felt comfortable to give chase. And give chase they did, Danny was sure that he was at leasttwo states away from his home. His family would be worried about him. His friends would be worried about him. How many days has it been? How long has he been gone? Was his family even looking for him yet? Would they ever?
Danny shook his head, he needed to stop thinking. Just stop. It wasn’t doing him any good. He just needed to wait, to hope, to yearn. His stomach churned, it had been wanting food for a while. How long was that while? Danny didn’t know, he couldn’t, he didn’t get the luxury to know, to know anything.
How long has The Ninja been gone? Would he ever come back? If he did, what would happen then? Anything good, anything bad? Where was he, where was him? Danny needed to move but he couldn’t. He was tired but he couldn’t sleep, not yet, not ever until he gets back home. Where was home? Where is he? Where oh where could anybody be? Danny wanted to cry but he couldn’t. He wanted to lie down but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything, he could want to do whatever he pleased. But nothing would come about from simply wanting. From simply yearning.
Nothing good comes from thinking.
A soft thud came from the right of Danny. He froze, anxiety spiking from the sound, from the typhoon of thoughts crashing down onto his mind.
“Heeyyy Phantom,” The Ninja said in a singsongy voice, waltzing in front of him, “I got two burgers! Well, actually three, but I ate it on the way here. Sorry, I was hungry ha ha.” He gave Danny a bag filled with burgers and a water bottle.
“It’s…fine,” Danny sighed. He didn’t really care that he ate a burger bought with his money, he was more peeved about the ninja almost giving him a heart attack.
But that didn’t really matter in the end, Danny should just focus on not starving. The water hadn’t been opened yet, he could tell by how he had to struggle to open the stupid thing. After a few sips of that, he grabbed one of the burgers. It was still wrapped up, looking thankfully untouched. After a few bites of that, he went back to his water. He did that a couple more times until he was finished with the burger. The Ninja had a hand outstretched, napkins in his hand.
“Thanks,” Danny mumbled as he took them.
“Ah, it’s no problem,” The Ninja waved him off, “Feeling any better now?”
“Yeah, actually. Thanks.”
“Alright! Now,” he yawned, “I dunno what to do next.”
“Same.”
“Oh! Wait, I remember you said you’d tell me where you’re from, right?”
“I think you just asked me to tell you-“
“Great! So can you tell me?”
Danny really didn’t want to him. But The Ninja didn’t seem hostile, the worst thing he’d done to him was that he ate a burger bought with Danny’s money, but honestly he deserved a little snack for all the trouble he went through for the ghost.
Danny let out a sigh, “I’m from Amity Park, Illinois.”
“Illinois? That’s like…a couple states over? I’m not that good at geography, ha.”
“I’m…okay at it, I guess. I’m not good at math though.”
“Oh I’m great at math! It’s fun.”
“You’re crazy.”
“And you’re just. Math. Dyslexic. I think that’s a thing.”
“That…would make a lot sense.”
“Glad I could help, yet again,” The Ninja smugly said as he plopped down next to Danny. “Now, how do I get you back to Illinois?”
“I’ll just take a bus or something.”
“Are there any buses that go to Illinois?”
“I don’t know man, I’m tired.”
“Hmm, maybe I could get you into a hotel or something. I’m very popular around here, a local celebrity you know?”
“Ha, yeah,” Danny rubbed his temples, considered his options. If he didn’t take the ninja’s offer, he would be sleeping on the streets, wandering the streets, or get jumped on the streets. He needed to get off of the streets.
“Alright,” Danny stretched his arms, “I’ll go with your plan. Just let me finish my second burger.”
“Schweet! Okay, now we just need to figure out how to make you stop glowing. And bleeding, that’s also important.”
“I heal quickly, my wounds will likely be gone after I finish this,” Danny told him as he unwrapped his burger, “Also, you’ll figure out how I’ll stop glowing soon, so don’t worry about it.”
“Okay then. Enjoy your burger,” The Ninja put his hand behind his head and rested them on the wall, closing his eyes. It would be the perfect time to run away, but Danny wasn’t planning on doing that now. He just had to place his trust in this ninja for now.
A few minutes passed, and Danny was done. He wiped his face and stuffed the napkins into the now empty burger bag. Well, before that he took out the remaining money he had given to the ninja, who had seemingly slipped it into the bag while he wasn’t looking. Into the chest wallet it goes.
“I’m ready,” Danny said as he attempted to stand up. He stumbled a bit, but thankfully he was right next to a wall.
“You good ghostie?” The Ninja asked, standing up much quicker than Danny could dream of at the moment.
“Y-yeah, just give me second.”
Danny stretched a bit after he regained his footing. He looked over at The Ninja and gave him a smirk, before he enveloped himself in a ring of light, transforming into his regular human form.
“Woah!” The Ninja shouted, “What the juice? You look…alive! And like a normal person in normal clothing!”
“Yeah, I can do that. Now, take me the hotel please. Before I pass out.”
“Right on it! I’ll carry you there, just don’t pass out before we get there.”
“I won’t make any promises.”
“Okay, kinda wonk but alright.”
“Half the words you say are nonsense, you know that right?”
“Ah, all words are nonsense, aren’t they? Now climb on my back.” He turned away from Danny and crouched down, turning his head to face Danny and pointed at his back. Danny groaned, he probably wasn’t going to enjoy this, but it’s fine. Sleep and safety would come soon, he just needed to focus on that. He didn’t need to think, he just need to focus on staying awake. He hopped on the ninja’s back, and in a few moments, they were off.
Danny was right in not making any promises about not passing out, as he was already sleeping soundly by the time they got to the hotel.
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critter-genfic-events · 1 year ago
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This week, we have thirteen angsty fics for you! Look under the cut, heed the warnings, and don't forget to comment or kudos if you like them!
our lives were never ours by vivolet (145817,Mature) Warnings: canon-typical violence, character death, implied/referenced suicide, implied/referenced torture, Pairings:
The Mighty Nein, but make it Hunger Games fusion.
Reccer says: Hunger Games AUs are a guilty pleasure of mine and I have such a soft spot for this series. It focuses on Yasha and Caduceus, so if you love those two and want lots of angst and torment and focus on their characters, this series has you covered. The level of detail, the continuity porn that utilizes every scrap of canon detail and puts it to use in a new setting, and the beautiful prose make it a compelling read. It will hurt your soul.
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wild mountain thyme (among blooming heather) by Aurelie (NowImJustSomebodyThat) (8107,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Korrin/Vilya
Vilya's memories do not all come back at once
Reccer says: I love considering Vilya's story from her point of view, and the nonlinear narrative here is heartbreaking and beautiful
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those that crawl and flutter towards the sun by vietbluecoeur (6163,Not Rated) Warnings: Major Character Death Pairings: Essek Thelyss & Jester Lavorre
AU; Essek's curiosity gets the better of him and he develops a friendship with a creature who only lives for three days. As that creature is Jester, she makes it memorable.
Reccer says: The worldbuilding is beautiful, the prose is gorgeous, and the tragedy is delicious.
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the seed that falls on good ground by Ford_Ye_Fiji (1750,Teen) Warnings: Body Horror, Spiders Pairings:
While traveling with the Crownkeepers, Orym receives his own creepy crown dream.
Reccer says: I love Orym as an incorruptible beacon of light and I love it even more when he's being tempted. The angst is delicious.
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a walk-on role in the script of your long, long grift by grayintogreen (1136,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:
Cree delivers the threshold crest.
Reccer says: It's always a good time to feel sad about Cree.
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come around when you break by maybetwice (3861,General) Warnings: None Pairings:
In the aftermath of the final fight in EXU, Opal gets taken care of.
Reccer says: I'm a sucker for stories where a sad character gets tended to by their friends and Opal went through A LOT in that last fight. She deserves to get pampered by all of her friends.
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my devils they whisper in my ear, deafening me with all my fears (i'm living in a nightmare) by Ford_Ye_Fiji (12128,Mature) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Disassociation, Suicidal Thoughts Pairings: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III & Vox Machina
Scanlan does not destroy the pepperbox. For Percy it goes about as well as expected.
Reccer says: I liked it
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One, Two, Switch-a-roo by Allise (3712,General) Warnings: Chronic Pain Pairings: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III & Vox Machina, Keyleth & Vox Machina, Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III & Keyleth
Vox Machina manage to find some magical box that switches the body of whoever's closest. What happens when Keyleth and Percy get caught in the blast?
Reccer says: It's not that I want other people to deal with chronic pain, but there's something of a wish fulfillment in having someone else experience the pain and
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From the Ocean to the Shore by commoncomitatus (7775,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Mollymauk Tealeaf
A missing scene from C2E16 wherein Jester is hypervigilant about her friends going down and receives some much-needed comfort.
Reccer says: I love Jester angst and this fic has a unique perfectly Jester rhythm to the prose that makes it a fun read while still being very much in the vein of angst. If you like reading characters being sad but in a less gut-punching, visceral way, this is a fic for you.
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the infinite grains of sand by jadeandquartz (1327,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:
A look at Fearne's thoughts as she's forced to make That Decision.
Reccer says: The absolute tragedy of Fearne having to choose between which of her friends to revive is something I love seeing explored, and this fic does it so eloquently and true to Fearne's feyness.
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the worst thing to happen by k_152 (2588,General) Warnings: Major Character Death Pairings:
The fight with Otohan ends with everyone but Imogen dead. She acts accordingly.
Reccer says: I LOVE a good Villain Arc story and this presents such an enticing what-if while also punching you in the feels.
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i wont hurt you by dearestpiers (3038,General) Warnings: Vaguely suicidal thoughts; childhood illness; animal death; offscreen Nein deaths Pairings: Caduceus & Clay Family, Caduceus & Essek
An exploration of Caduceus's relationship with death, from childhood through meeting the Nein to long after.
Reccer says: I liked it
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Home is Where the Heart Is by LessAttitudeMoreAltitude (1720,General) Warnings: Panic attacks, vomiting, self-harm, Caleb-typical self-esteem issues Pairings: Caleb & Essek, Caleb & Beau, brief mentions of all canon M9 romantic relationships
Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum, but being alone there makes him panic.
Reccer says: I liked it
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If you liked this rec list, follow along for more! We'll be posting a new list with a new theme each Monday. Want to make your own recs? Check out the rules, and then use the form to submit!
If you didn't get enough angst this week, next week we're going to have recs featuring Percy!
Then, we'll have fights, modern AU's, and cuddling!
Also, the last few rec lists have had errors in their word count and ratings - I just went back and fixed them. If you're looking for more, why not check them out?
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crows-home · 2 years ago
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hey! i hope you don’t mind me asking, but do u have any fics you recommend reading? (specifically sonic fandom ones)
im so sorry anon but im probably the worst when it comes to fic recs. I just started using the bookmark function on ao3 like last month. There's probably tons of fics that i've read and absolutely loved, but never saved and are just collecting dust in my history ToT
i'm going to shout out a few of my favorite authors whose works i absolutely adore and some fics under the cut!
There's definitely more authors and fics i missed, but this is what i was able to come up with!! in general, the sonic community is full of so much talent and i'm just really happy to be here :)
@cozyqueerchaos - I love every single piece they put out honestly and these fics are the reason i dipped my toes more into the sonic fandom years ago. they're THAT good. love them all.
@phantomruby - another wonderful fic writer that everyone should check out. "Slipping Away" makes me cry fr, although i haven't caught up on the latest updates. everything just makes my heart go oshfdsfhd
@chaoxfix - sonic fics are wonderful sonic takes are top notch i dig everything. the understanding of the characters and archie is just phenomenal.
@teamxdark - fell in love with the Tales of Avalon series and fell harder in love with the team dark Boomtober fics and dynamics and aaaaaa, wonderful writing and style.
@rubyiiiusions - every fic is a joy to read and every story really just gets your attention and keeps it till the end. i've bookmarked a few of them since last week :)
I went digging through my history and here are some of my personal favorite Sonic fics!
radio silence under a yellow sky by chaox Summary: Sonic finds out Tails is missing. And more importantly, that no one's been looking for him.
A gen fic about Sonic finding out Tails was MIA during Forces it's so so good i think about it a lot
falling by sonosuke Summary: Shadow likes a boy
sonadow during SA2 I'll cry. so angsty but it makes me :')
Birds of a Feather by SonicaSpeed123 Summary: Sonic has been trapped in Camelot for three years, but he's started to make a place for himself that he can finally be comfortable in with his beloved Lancelot Something has been bothering him, though: If all the people of this world look like the people back home, where is Sonic's lookalike?
Lansoni. Part of a series of SatBK mini fics that i really love, but this one especially because it answers the question of 'what about the Sonic doppleganger?'
you can hardly swallow your fears and pain by chaox and sketchjii Summary: Shadow is usually better at putting up that cold, unfeeling front, isn't he? Or maybe that's him. (or: sonic doesn't need to be in touch with his feelings if he pretends they don't exist in the first place)
One of my all time faves i love it so much i dont think i have the right words. shadow tries to give sonic mental health advice. it does not go well. takes place some time after Forces.
the time has come again for stars by rubyillusions Summary: (five times someone notices sonic and shadow are in love and one time they do something about it)
sonadow, Teen. obsessed with how the characters are written here and the way all of their friends interpret their relationship it's just so cute and sweet and shit and i love it a lot.
against every odd by eggskie Summary: "We're friends?" Nine asks, small and timid, and oh, doesn't that break Sonic's heart. "Of course we are. We always have been. Or we always should have been." Or: Nine isn't used to being cared about
wanna see how hard i can cry? Gen, Sonic Prime fic about sonic and tails and what they should have been.
Dreams Don't Come True by Skyblaze Summary: Short, mildly humorous fic with sonadow flavouring. It also takes the mickey extensively out of the Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 Next Gen game. Warning: not to be taken seriously.
This fic is just really silly i like it a lot :)
A largely platonic cave by mousewritings Summary: "You know I uh, love hanging out with you and all, but do you think we could go somewhere that's not a cave for once?" Shadow stares at him. "What do you mean, go somewhere that's not a cave? Think you're too good for caves?"
Sonic Boom Sonic and Shadow (pre-slash sonadow) my beloveds <3<3 this fic is so funny they're so insufferable
Also, uh. I know you said only Sonic fics but i'm going to add a few more fics that i really really love from different fandoms because i reread them a lot, i hope you don't mind! ^^
Our way by shpeeper Summary: Overall, the mission was pretty simple. Sniper was instructed to track the spy for a week, figure out his daily patterns, then put a bullet in his brain when no one is around. No one told him there would be a kid. An AU in which Spy raises Scout alone, and Sniper is hired to kill Spy.
Oh my fucking god i could go on about this fic. Sniperspy, Teen, TF2. filled with action and danger. Every time a new character would get introduced, i would have fun piecing together who they were in my mind. the first chapter already had me emotional, it's been in my brain for YEARS. And don't even get me STARTED with the twist at the end. holy shit.
Desmodontinae by Romiress Summary: Kirk wakes up in a Gotham that is not his own. A what-if, where Gods and Monsters Batman winds up in the DCU. Originally intended as a short oneshot, and expanded out into a small story, exploring the differences, struggles, and conclusions. Focuses primarily on Kirk Langstrom (G&M Batman), with a side or Hernan Guerra (G&M Superman), Damian Wayne, and Bruce Wayne. Guest appearances by various other Robins, Clark and Jon Kent, and several others.
The Gods and Monsters DC team means so much to me and oh my god this fic was made with so much love and care for the characters. It's been a while since i read it, but i remember this fic had me staying up literally all night, eagerly going through all the chapters, one at a time. i was in bed kicking my sheets quietly irl lmao.
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thotpuppy · 1 year ago
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20 questions for fic writers!
this kind of stuff is super neat to read from others and share and talk about sooo thank u so much for the tag @sugareey-makes-stuff!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
On its face, 40, but 5 are co-creator tags because i illustrated them, 3 of them are art for the steter bang independently posted separate from their fics, 1 was gift art for the steter vday exchange, and 1 is a 60k+ roleplay that i only wrote like half of haha. so its actually 30-31
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
365,587 but again, not all my words. Without the 8 fics mentioned up top, its at 250,197 total. the fic i co wrote is 69,599. Without any of that, my total is 180,598. if i only cut half out, its at 215,397 which is. still pretty good i guess???
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Published, I have fics for Voltron Legendary Defender, Teen Wolf, Danny Phantom, and Sk8 the Infinity. I pretty much only write for Teen Wolf right now. I have WIPs and ideas for DC, Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, and of course Danny Phantom.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Grandma, What a Big Dick You Have! (the better to fuck you with my dear) (Sterek, WC 5,644, one shot, Rated E)
Churn My (Peanut) Butter (Steter, WC 3,074, one shot, Rated E)
A Collision of Interest is Inevitable  (This is that role-play) (PompousPep, WC 69,599, part 1 of ?, Rated M)
Why (not) Me? (Sterek, WC 6,496, one shot, Rated M)
Now Hiring (Sterek, WC 5,724, part 1 of WIP series that's currently 4 parts. Rated E)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do my very best to meet my commenters however they meet me. If they just drop some emojis, i drop some back. If they give me a long, thought out comment, I give them one back. Etc etc.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
This question and 7 are both hard because I pretty much exclusively write happy endings. A Snap, a Shudder, and a Home probably has the least upward lifting ending? It's not sad or angsty, but it speaks to unresolved tensions. The problem isn't over, even if they have a taste of peace. (Sterek, WC 1,669, one shot, Rated T)
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
They all have happy endings! ARGH! The most outwardly enduringly positive fic I've written, however, is probably:
Daisies and Daffodils (You Make Me Smile) (Sterek, WC 3,864, one shot, Rated T) I was just in such a smiley, indulgent mood the entire time I wrote it, and it still makes me warm and smiley about it now.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not technically, though I have gotten two particularly unpleasant comments. One was on a Sterek fanfic trope challenge fic, for the prompt "Forced Proximity". Stiles and Derek get put into a '7 minutes of heaven' sort of situation by Lydia and one commenter was SO MAD that I didn't tag the fic as RAPE/NONCON ????? They also lectured me about being sexist and having double standards because it wouldn't be okay if Sterek were Women, which was just all sorts of yikes. (WC 2,912, Rated M, link here.) The other time I got a negative comment was actually on my most recently posted WIP Under My Skin, which is a Stackson fic. The hatefulness wasn't directed at the fic itself, but it WAS targeted at one of the main protagonists of the fic, as if implying I would be "punishing" said character for his "crimes" which were Being Human and Struggling. It made me super, SUPER uncomfortable and I ended up leaving the thread on read because I just got so unhappy every time I read the comment that I decided it wasn't worth even trying to explain myself. (WC 55,613, chapter 18/?, Rated E, noncon warning)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Haha.... normally I would say that's literally most of what I write, but I have a surprising number of lengthier non-smutty fics than I realized. I also legitimately have a Just Porn fic series, though, and I've written some pretty horny stuff in general. (Sterek+ others, WC 23,152, Rated E, parts 4/?)
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I haven't, but I'm not opposed to doing one? I tend to prefer crossovers that are more, characters from X in setting from Y than, like, main characters interacting? But I have read a good few crossovers lately that have made me much more open TO writing a crossover in the future.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Thankfully not, yikes
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Naw, but I'd be open to it! I have blanket permissions for a lot of stuff right on my ao3 profile. (:
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yeah :,^)
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
If you'd asked me this like 5 years ago I would have said Drarry. I HAVE answered this question with Drarry many times. I think, at this point in time, however, it is shifting. It very well may be Sterek. Drarry has absolutely shaped a huge amount of how I create, how I write, what i read, etc. though so it would be inappropriate to say it held no influence over me.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I think it's entirely possible i will never finish the TBHK Wondering Prince fic I started. It's somewhere between traditional fairy tale, medieval fantasy, and the witcher, with a good bit of TBHK's whimsical supernaturality.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I tend to do well with dialogue IMO, as well as general world building, both fantastical and mundane lol
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
plot. The actual beats of the story. I have wonderful, grand ideas on what a story should be! I even have thoughts on the conflicts, major stepping points, etc, but MAN do i get tripped up on the actual getting from point a to point b thematicall.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
*wiggly hand gesture* I think if it is a language you speak, and it is only occasional words or a line or two, it makes sense to use the other language, but in every spoken situation in visual media, you would get subtitles explaining what was being said if it went on longer than that. If the audience doesn't speak the language and they have to go to the end of the chapter/fic/etc to translate it, that can be enough for them to just gloss over and not even read it. Or, if you don't speak that language at all and you use google translate? you might have written something very different from your intent that people who DO speak it catch and get tripped up by. I think it's better to just, say that the character is speaking in another language and translate it in text for your readers.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
teeeeeeeeeechnically homestuck? for 'posted on ao3'?? But also, I've lowkey been writing fanfic adjacent works since i was like 6, but i don't rly wanna count that LOL
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
This bitch is my baaaaaaaaby. Stackson, WC 55,613, Chapters 18/?. https://archiveofourown.org/works/48834448 Currently a WIP but with a deadline, so it WILL be finished! This is probably the fic that got me REALLY into writing fic on my own though. https://archiveofourown.org/works/29829636 It really brought me back to my love of writing and was the first finished work in a long ass time. I also think it's really funny and a great example of what I can do when I apply myself. (PompousPep, WC 4,545, 2 chapters, Rated M.)
Tagging: @geekmom13 @always-mimits @sinnabon-cosplay @okdeannawrites @whimsicalmeerkat @clotpolesonly @hedwig221b @wolfspurr @lavender-lotion @adrianfridge
(Blank under the readmore)
20 questions for fic writers!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
3. What fandoms do you write for?
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
16. What are your writing strengths?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
19. First fandom you wrote for?
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
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lmelodie · 1 month ago
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Alright this has gotten VERILY out of hand so i am gonna have an absolute YAP SESH under the cut about my latest girl. Her name is Millicent, goes by Misery.
Inspired by the latest Diteline Kids lore dump (have some small doodles of those kiddos on paper somewhere), this is gonna be my VERY unofficial BlackIce kid. Very hypothetical and literally just made for funsies but she's really grown on me so let me tell you about her.
So she, is a spooky little angsty teen. Her voice has zero tone indicators, she has one (1) deadpan facial expression, and she is very crow themed.
(Her little shawl is probably enchanted to transform into real wings)
And the most hypothetical thing about her is her creation because I don't know anything about that lol. All I know is that she forms somehow completely alone and as a whole teenager.
NOBODY knows how she came into existence, not even herself as she's never met her bio fathers.
So, she goes around wandering for a bit before being found by Griffin who serves as "prime" parent for a time and helps her decide on a name! Befana also helps him out in this endeavor, also being attributed to only mother figure she has.
They teach her the basics of livin' life and getting a hold on her powers, being 95% shadowmancer. But after a while she decides to leave "home" and go in search of more expert magic training, really wanting to hone in on her craft.
This is when she meets one forest dwelling warlock, Fino Frost who is open to the idea of an apprentice. This however is very short lived as she quickly gets bored with the basics and starts jumping into curses and hexes, whipping about dark magic with little caution.
And when Fino tries to warn her about it and lead her in a different direction, she straight up tells him "You can't tell me what to do" and leaves him like:
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So, she bums around Crystal Springs for a while causing a boat load of trouble for just about anyone she comes in contact with (because apparently that seems to be genetically dictated).
A couple major things about her is that her personality and magic are 100% Killian, but her LOOKS are 1000% Frost. She is a DEAD RINGER for a Frost kid.
So Fino, in their short apprenticeship (and while keeping an eye out for her chaos making on the continent) is already raising an eyebrow (smart guy) but doesn't have nearly enough to go off of yet.
It's only when she encounters the Diteline kids that things kinda take a turn.
She has been going around the springs and (like the angsty teen that she is) has been going by Misery and causing such in saturated amounts. Which will sometime put a damper on Joy's joy.
Misery is a real Wednesday Addams/Lydia Deetz kinda vibe, so she's been snuffing out whatever joy she comes across.
This eventually turns into a cartoon villain/protag set up where there's a strange almost one-sided rivalry between them as Misery kinda acts as the "villain of the week". Sometimes her siblings will join in whenever Joy goes on a mission to undo whatever Misery has caused.
And its only during one of these that Misery accidently finds out she has a little bit of ice magic! Not any more than Joy herself probably, but all four of them see it and confront it because there's only ONE family on the entire continent that has any winter magic, so this is WEIRD.
So the ditleine kids combine their one braincell each and come to the correct conclusion, which means absolutely nothing to Misery considering that she only knows who these potential birth parents are by word of mouth, so she doesn't really care lol.
But the kiddos go and try to look into this more, running into Uncle Fins who then corroborates on their story and gets fully filled in and now has A LOT of questions that need answering.
But I'd like for this secret to go nowhere further than that. Nobody else but the Diteline kids and Fino ever find out about Misery's parents.
The conclusion that they come to is that Jack and Kills are perfectly happy right now without kids, they've never wanted their own kids, and Misery doesn't seem like she's in any emotional distress and is taking decent care of herself, so they decide not to tell anyone else.
He offers her a place to stay again but she ultimately declines.
She goes around causing more trouble and eventually gets the attention of the aging Grand Witch of the Dark Arts, sensing the influx of reckless dark magic usage that's causing all kinds of problems.
So, SHE ends up taking a liking to this kid and takes her under her wing, herself in need of someone to take over for her, and trains her in the effective use of dark magic, which Misery actually enjoys so it does mellow her out a bit.
She is filled in on the parental situation and thinks her conception/existence is extremely funny but promises to keep the secret.
I think she keeps some contact with the Diteline kids (who DO call her cousin in private) as they grow up and I think she ends up being the closest with Robyn out of all of them. Being that they eventually become the Govenor and she the Grand Witch (where she starts using her given name Millicent again), id imagine they work closer in the beurocracy of sorts.
She will briefly come around in tiny family gatherings as a "friend" but nobody else will ever really know.
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augustinewrites · 3 years ago
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dressing up as santa + gojo for @rosenkow 🎁 merry christmas, lovely! thank you for yelling about gojo w me! (yes it's more keeping up with the fushigojos i can't help it)
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“this looks like a sexual harassment lawsuit just waiting to happen,” shoko comments dryly, the two of you watching gojo shove his ridiculously long limbs into bright red santa pants. “you’re not going to ask people to sit in your lap, are you?”
“i’m not doing this for your pleasure,” he retorts, gaze briefly flicking to you as he pats his lap. “except for you. you know you can take a ride on this sleigh anytime you want.”
you just roll your eyes, scoffing. “i’d rather choke on a candy cane.”
he just smirks at you. “you know what else you can choke on that’s red and wh—”
the glare you cut instantly shuts him up. “don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
your cheeks burn as shoko chuckles next to you. “okay, if that’s not what it’s for, then what’s up with the sudden interest in santa?”
“it’s for the kids,” gojo shrugs, shooting you one last wink. “they keep telling us they don’t want any gifts this year. so i figure if they tell santa what they want, then daddy gojo can go buy it for them.”
his logic is flawed. which it usual is, when it comes to the fushiguro’s.
“first of all, never refer to yourself as ‘daddy’ anything again, or i’ll punch you,” you threaten (though he’d probably like that, wouldn’t he? the freak). “second of all, megumi is almost 12, i’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe in santa anymore.”
“hey, i believed in santa until i was 13!”
“yeah, well, you don’t strike me as the type to question it when someone tells you a fat man in a suit is bringing you gifts. megumi’s not like that.”
because fushiguro megumi is the type of kid who punches santa in the face, and kicks his elves so hard that their grandchildren are probably going to be born with concussions.
something that gojo seems to have forgotten as he shrugs the bright red coat on and stuffs it with pillows.
“he’s never going to believe it, anyway. santa is short and round, not built like a 6’7 beanstalk,” you deadpan, picking up and studying the fake beard.
“he’s kid, babe. they’re kinda dumb. once megumi and tsumiki see me come down the chimney—”
“our fireplace is electronic.”
“fine, the window.”
“you are not climbing through the window of our 5th floor apartment.”
gojo just sighs loudly, rolling his eyes at you. “then when they see me come through the door, they’ll be so excited and share all their secret desires!” he pulls his fake beard on, plopping a santa hat on his head. “now i’m off to find my elf! if you doubters, no, haters need me, i’ll be at nanami’s bribing him.”
“he thinks a set of pre-teens are gonna want to share their secrets?” shoko asks as he slams the front door shut. “it’s like he’s never met a kid before.”
“it’s gojo,” you shrug, pulling your phone to warn nanami of the incoming crisis dressed in red. “he is the kid.”
-
as always, you’re right.
his first mistake, perhaps, was the idea of sneaking into megumi’s room while he was studying. never sneak up an angsty preteen. he’s sure that’s written somewhere in the parenting books he’d never read.
because “ho, ho, ho,” quickly turns into “ho, ho— holy shit!”
because megumi isn’t seven anymore, and his punches hurt a lot worse when he puts cursed energy behind them.
his own teaching— turned against him for a punch in the throat.
“well,” you grin, enjoying seeing him pain a bit too much, you sadist, slapping the bag of frozen peas to his throat. “you are arguably one of the most throat punchable men in the jujutsu world.”
“i just wanted them to have good holiday, you know?” he sighs as you lean next to him on the edge of the counter. “i just—i never had any as a kid. all the other kids got excited about santa and all that, but i never got to do the whole presents under the tree thing. i wanted to get them gifts that they love.”
“well, the holidays aren’t about gifts,” you murmur. “it’s just about being together, being here. and having an incredibly smart partner who knows those kids just a little better than you do.”
-
you’d already gotten them gifts because, yeah, okay, maybe you know those kids a little better than he does.
and on christmas morning, he watches even megumi’s broody expression lighten at the sight of the new novel.
and no matter what you or either of those kids say, no, he didn’t cry when the kids presented him with that new pair of sunglasses he’d been eyeing online.
(even if they did buy it with the weekly allowance he gave them)
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christmas event masterlist
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ldrfanatic · 4 years ago
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I’m Yours
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Damian Wayne x Fem!Reader
prompt / a wayne family ball forces the youngest robin to confess his feelings for his best friend before it’s too late
warnings / little angsty tbh
wc 1501
NAVIGATION
———————————
You were in love. Simple as that. Others had called it a crush, but you knew what you felt. And what you feel comes nothing close to crush.  You were helplessly and painstakingly in love with Damian Wayne. The two of you met through Bruce. You were the daughter of some of his WE colleagues and when your parents were murdered by the Joker, Bruce took you under his wing as Batman. You thought it might be good for your crush on Damian. That maybe you might get closer. Instead, he unknowingly friend-zoned you. 
Dick walking up to you snapped you out of your daydreams. You eyes were watering and you hadn't even noticed. Dick gave you a very concerned look before following your gaze to where Damian was dancing very romantically with Raven. A fellow member of the Teen Titans. It seemed everyone except Damian knew of your crush. Dick smiled sympathetically at you. "Do you want to dance? Or get a drink?" You shook your head sadly, trying your hardest to avoid using your voice.
You started to quickly make a move for the exit. Jason appeared next to Dick, looking very nice in his tailored suit. His hand gripped tightly around your wrist to prevent your escape. "Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but let me go, Jason. I- I don't want to be here anymore. I'm going home." Your voice broke mid-sentence and you desperately struggled to get a hold of yourself. "Y/n-" You shook your head and harshly ripped your hand from his. "No! Because for five years I have been pining after him. And he doesn't even know. He's happy with her and that's all that I want for him but I won't listen to my heart break over and over again watching him belong to someone else when I know damn sure, that I'm his." Neglecting the pain in your feet, you ran quickly through the ballroom until you made it outside where Alfred pulled up five minutes later to take you back to the Manor.
-----
Jason stood in between Dick and Tim watching Alfred peel off from the front of the magnificent building with you in the back. The trio turned around and warily watched Damian and Raven from a distance. "Look don't get me wrong, I like Raven and she's great..." Jason glanced towards Tim as he finished Dick's sentence. "but she's not Y/n. And whether Damian knows it or not, that's who he's in love with." Jason downed the shot in his hand and placed it on the tray of a waiter who shot him a dirty look. 
“We need a plan.”
------
Damian Wayne. There wasn't much opportunity to be normal in the poor kids life. Even his family dressed up as vigilantes to take on the dark creatures of the night and by day were the center of every Gotham tabloid. Two things in his life were guaranteed and normal. The girl in front of him, whom he was in love with, or rather thought he was in love with, and his absolute best friend in the world, Y/n. Damian had to admit that something stirred in the pit of his stomach every time he saw Y/n but he sort of pushed it off to being protective best friend feelings. Besides, everyone in the Manor felt that way about Y/n... right?
Attempting to push his troubling thoughts away and focus on the girl in front of him, Damian was surprised when Tim cut in on their dance and whisked her away. Fuming, Damian readied himself to kill Tim in every brutal way he knew. Just as he was about to charge, he was yanked up and carried into an unoccupied room. Dick was standing in front of him and Jason was blocking the door. "Todd! Move at once!" Jason shook his head and motioned to Dick. Damian found himself at least a tad curious to what his eldest brother had to say. After all, if they had all collaborated this could be quite important or at the very least, amusing. 
------
"Alfred, leave the car running please." 
"Leaving again, Miss Y/n?"
"Yes. To the airport."
Alfred, now intrigued followed you into the Manor and up to your room where you began packing your bags. "I’m afraid I don't understand, Miss Y/l/n."
"You know how I feel about Damian?"
"I do, Miss."
"Well, he'll be back soon. More than likely with Raven in tow. I won't waste away watching him gaze at her, and be with her in every way that I want to be with him. I mean he couldn't even be bothered that I ran out crying tonight. I'm tired of it all Alfred and I need a fresh start. So for now I'm leaving. And Damian can be free to be with her without my jealousy or longing looks."
"A word of advice, Miss?"
"Go ahead."
"If you leave, you'll break the boy's heart." 
You paused on your packing. Alfred's words struck every chord in your very being and settled an uneasy feeling in your stomach. "Well he'll have Raven." Your words finalized the conversation and Alfred took off to the nearest airport, but not before you said a quick goodbye to Titus. When you arrived you gave Alfred a long hug before turning towards the ticket purchasing desk. No turning back.
------
"I don't understand..”
Dick through his hands up in exasperation at his idiotic little brother. "What the hell do you mean you don't understand??? I just explained it." 
"No, I understand that. I just- How could I be so blind? Not only to Y/n's sentiments but to my own as well?" Dick watched his little brother pace frantically before deciding he would find Y/n and tell her how he felt. Just as he was about to walk out of the door, Tim came busting into the room. "Guys Y/n's at the airport! She's gonna leave Gotham!" Damian wildly made a dash for the door, and Dick was happy to see that Tim had already dialed Alfred.
------
Damian silently willed the car to go faster, aware that Alfred was already speeding way above limits. Damian thanked every god in heaven and hell when he arrived. Luckily, he was quick enough and you were sat in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs of the airport, slightly dozing off with a book in your lap. Apparently your flight had been delayed. Damian didn't even bother to call your name, he merely began sprinting to your sleeping form at full speed.
His feet skidded at last moment, and skillfully yet ungraciously avoiding injury, Damian came to a rough stop onto his knees in front of you. The commotion caused your eyes to snap open and you glanced around wildly before you noticed Damian at your feet. You eyes were swirling with bewilderment and... hurt? "Damian. What are you doing here? Don't you have to get back to Raven, your precious little-" Damian cut you off with a hot and heavy kiss. 
When his lips separated from yours, he rested his forehead against your own. 
"You can't leave me, Y/n. God, please don't leave me. You're my addiction. You outshine every other person in every aspect of my life. There is not a doubt in my mind, I love you. No matter how much I tried to suppress these feelings or ignore them, something about you kept racing around my head. There are somethings about you that captivate me and others I could maybe live without, but the people that annoy you the most are the ones you love more deeply than anything. And everything about you, I love. Everything about you lights every cell in my body on fire. Even when you're angry or I'm angry, I'm ready to drop onto my knees for you, beloved. Just like I'm doing right now. I surrender to you and only you. I am sorry that it took me this long to realize how much I adore you, but I promise from now on, I won't leave your side. I was confused before but now I'm certain that I'm yours.”
By the time Damian finished talking, he was out of breath and panting. Tears were streaming down your faced and your already messed up make up from the Gala was running in rivers. But you looked much too beautiful for Damian to care. You launched yourself from the comfortless plastic chairs and straight into Damian's arms, clutching onto him tightly like he would disappear if you held too loosely. Damian repeated his words to you and the world over and over again, while holding his entire universe in his grasp.
"I'm yours. I'm yours... I'm yours."
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urcuteharrington · 4 years ago
Note
hi, I just saw your post asking for some requests. Maybe if you can do a Steve angst but with a little bit of fluff? 💛💛
forgotten?☁️🕊
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summary-steve seemed to have forgotten you when nancy came into the picture
word count-1.8k
warnings-fighting and cursing
a/n-i really hope you guys enjoyed this because it took me so long to write but i appreciate you all and i’m so glad to be back 🤍
masterlist
huge thanks to @angsty-plots for giving me ideas for new angst plots<3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
steve and i were good friends that was until he started dating nancy wheeler. it use to be steve and i doing everything together hanging out at each others houses, long car rides , going to tommy’s parties , and now he forgot all about me. i knew steve had a crush on ever since the beginning... i saw the way he looked at her when she would walk past him , i saw the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about her or whenever she was around. it use to be steve, tommy, carol, and i hanging out at lunch everyday but i was soon replaced when steve asked nancy to go to his house for a hangout with carol and tommy since his parents were out of town. that night he only invited me out of pity and i saw the subtitle flirting between the two and it made me sick. i walked barb that night to the bathroom after she sliced her thumb trying to open a beer can.” i know steve has gauze and bandages somewhere here ill look just keep your hand under the water” i tell her. that night i saw nancy and steve go into his room and i knew what was going to happen and i couldn’t bare being their for it. I said my goodbye to barb wishing her a safe ride home and went on my way. remembering that night i cried my heart out wondering why steve never expressed interest in me.
That was months ago now it’s around october and it was tommy’s halloween bash. i wasn’t going to go but i decided that it was better than sitting at home doing nothing. i knew i was going to see steve their with nancy but i still went even if it was going to hurt seeing my best friend who forgot i even existed. I go dressed up as (whatever you want) and grab my keys getting ready to head off to the party. pulling up to the house i already see drunk teens walking around with their heels in hand or wobbling around. i walk in and head over to the kitchen and try to grab a drink of spiked punch. while pouring i look over and see them... steve and nancy dancing to the beat of the music. a sudden wave of sadness hit and i decided to take a sip of the punch feeling the alcohol run down my throat.
minutes pass and i decided to stay in the kitchen since i felt like it was my best bet to not run into them while on the dance floor. watching the drunken teens flirting and stumbling their words amused on how quickly the punch could get someone drunk.then i saw her , the girl who stole my best friend from me and the boy i loved. nancy walked into the kitchen and grabbed more cups of the spiked punch , one after another i was able to see her get completely shitfaced in the ,mater of only a few minutes. steve came looking for nancy and they got into a fight and i watched intensely. watching as the punch spilled all over her while sweater my mouth opened a jar shocked at how messy everything was getting. watching her and steve storm over to the bathroom. moments later i move to the living room near the front door and suddenly get shouldered by steve who seemed furious and watching jonathan rush to the bathroom. i decided to stay a little longer since the party was still going strong.
a few days later i noticed that steve and nancy were slowly falling out since he wasn’t visiting her at school anymore and her and jonathan seemed to have gotten closer. they seemed to be done and whatever was said in that bathroom must have been bad. i decided to go to steve’s house and check up on him, even if we weren’t friends anymore i didnt want to see him go through something like a breakup alone. knocking on his front door i waited anxiously wondering if i was making the wrong choice. “ hey how can i- oh hi y/n. i didnt uh expect you to be here?” steve says opening the door confused. “ i know steve but i wanted to talk to you” i say as he walks me to his room to talk.” hey i was actually gonna go out and apologize to nancy so if you can come and help me pick something out for her” my heart sank i haven’t talked to him in months and he already brought her up. not a hey how are you or a i miss you nothing its always about her i think to myself. “ oh i actually came to talk to you about something “ “ shoot” he says.” why did you stop talking to me” silence filled the room 1...2...3 minutes passed waiting for him to say something anything” steve you left me for nancy and i dont get what i did for you to sto talking to me. i understand shes your girlfriend but shit i didnt think you’d completely forget about me” i say standing up from his bed looking at him with sadness in my eyes.” i-i thought you didn’t want to hang out with us anymore y/n i didnt notice at first i i’m so sorry” he says guilt in his voice.” i feel like i lost the only person i truly cared about and and you were my friend and now you don’t even look my way steve how could you not notice me not being their... how did you not notice me not their at your basketball games cheering you on or the long car rides we would have just blasting music or going to tommy’s parties and taking turns getting shit faced. tell me steve is it me was i just not who you wanted to be around anymore was she my replacement because i saw it since the beginning” chocking on my words i hold back my tears. i didnt want to cry but eventually it fell and my vision blurred with tears.” y/n i never ment to make you feel that way and i am so sorry i guess i just got so caught up in nancy and i didnt notice you slowly leave and i i just feel terrible “ steve looked at me finally realizing how much he affected me and how much pain he caused me. “steve if you didnt want to be friends anymore you could have just told me you really hurt me” i say to him not daring to look him in the eyes.”i-i” is all he could say” you know what steve a simple hey i dont think we should be friends anymore its not your fault i just think we should go our own ways would have been nice” i say to him walking past him” you know thanks for being my friend for so many years but i cant be friends with someone who doesn’t give two shits about me anymore” i say as i walk out the door and walk back home since it was only a few houses down.steve not moving just in shock realizing that he was the reason why he lost his best friend.
days past and steve found out that nancy liked jonathan and accepted it telling her its okay and like that they broke up. driving around i felt a wave of sadness hit when the song steve and i would listen to while blasting music. tears spill down my face as i drive home. once i make it home i calm myself down and wash up when i suddenly hear the doorbell go off. walking over i open the door seeing the infamous billy hargrove “ hey their doll face i was wondering if you’ve seen my little sister max i know that you tutor some of her friends so i was wondering if you could help me figure out where the byers house is” he says licking his lips seductively “ yeah i could take you their and help you look for your little sister just let me grab my stuff “ i say looking at him.” after getting to the byers house i stay in the car until i see steve walk out confused at why he is their. everything happened so fast punches were thrown and now i’m driving the kids to this random area in hawkins. steve wakes up and sees me driving confused at how he ended up in this situation. getting to the destination steve and i talk while the kids grab everything. in the car they explained everything that happened in thus far with el , will, the upsidown , and etc. “ we broke up” steve says looking at me “ what why are you okay” even if we weren’t close anymore i didnt want him to feel like he had no one. “ she likes jonathan and the night of the party she called our relationship bullshit and i accepted it since i-“ dustin cuts him off by yelling at him how we didnt have enough time.
getting the kids out of the tunnels one by one steve was just about to help me up when he grabbed onto me tightly in a protective matter when the demo dogs ran toward us. watching as they ran past us he told me” i lost you once and i’m not gonna lose you again”getting out of the tunnels i was able to fully process everything that happened and once el closed the gate and steve and i were finally alone he broke the silence “ i love you y/n i never ment to hurt you and i’m sorry.” speechless i sit their “ steve i know you loved nan-“ he cuts me off “ after our first fight i knew she loved jonathan and i guess i couldn’t believe it till she called our relationship bullshit and i love you so much y/n and it was stupid of me to not tell you earlier” “ i love you too steve but what you did hurt me i mean you completely forgot about me” “ i know y/n but could you give me a second chance i’ll make it up to you... could i take you on a date and patch everything up” i really didn’t want to forgive him but i couldn’t just abandon him because i needed him i loved him and he loved me “ i would love that steve “ i say looking at him with love in my eyes and a smile plastered on my face.
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333sth · 3 years ago
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dove. (frankie morales)
chapter ii. previous. series masterlist.
pairing: frankie morales x ofc (’dove’) no use of y/n
warnings: ptsd/military service, violence, injury detail, language, angsty.
summary: santi’s hunch is no longer a hunch, but only will knows how close they are to finding frankie’s girl. 
rating: mature wc: 1.8k 
When a strong hand had clamped around her shoulder, Dove’s instinct was to break it. It wasn’t menacing; they were just waiting at the bar to be served.
A burly, middle-aged man was towering beside her, clutching a beer bottle that looked miniature in his thick grasp. His arms, still holding the shadow of what was once impressive muscle, were littered with military tattoos. Dove could spot a stick-and-poke from a mile off.
“I recognise that,” He gestures to her neck, where a small Delta Force tattoo was usually disguised by her long hair. “You ex-forces? Delta?” 
She wanted to kick herself. The sticky atmosphere had gotten the better of her and she’d thrown her hair into a ponytail without thinking.
“Yeah, but that isn’t exactly public knowledge ‘round here.” She murmurs. 
Across the room, Roni throws her head back in exaggerated laughter. A group of men, who looked barely out of their teen years, had come over to make some desperate attempts at getting laid. Dove had excused herself to buy the next round after one of them had cracked a mortifying joke about liking older women.
“That’s understandable.” The man held out his hand, which she took hesitantly. “My name’s Mark, I just retired out here. Served for twenty three years.” He chuckled gruffly, his voice thick from cigarettes. “I got jack shit to show for it, mind you.”
“Tell me about it.” She laughs, but she doesn’t offer her name. 
Mark notices as the conversation lulls. “I trained with a guy who made Delta. Santiago Garcia - we called him Pope, ‘cause he just had that way about him. You probably knew him.”
Dove swallows, chest lurching. “Sounds familiar… You know how it is though, the nicknames all blur into one eventually.”
That’s a lie, you never forget your teammates’ names. Mark knows it and so does Dove. Thankfully, he doesn’t push a conversation she clearly doesn’t want to have, and raises his bottle to her.
“Well, it was nice to meet you anyway. Enjoy yourself out here.”
“You too, Mark.” She tries to smile, but her lips press into a thin line that probably looks more like a grimace.
*
Mark had called Santiago the following day, the alcohol-blurred memory peaking his interest once he remembered his old friend’s plea a few months back. He’d asked around for any heads-up if any ex-Delta women around their age popped up. Mark had thought the man was delusional when he’d heard. If she was Delta Force, she wouldn’t be found unless she wanted to be. 
Apparently, he was wrong. Maybe even the best of the best got rusty after a while.
The town Dove had been spotted in was questionable to Santiago. It was too cosmopolitan for a woman who was starting over. However, after a onceover on a map of Mexico, Santi spotted its smaller neighbour. He’d never heard of it, which meant it must be the place. Small population, right on the coast, with enough amenities and business to get by without any trouble.
“And, man, she had a wicked scar on her throat. Sort of shit you’d only see on a Delta.” Mark had added, with a chuckle. “I can’t imagine that ain’t your girl.”
‘Dove isn’t my girl,’ Santi wanted to bite back instinctually. He bit his tongue, and instead offered, “It sounds like her. I can’t thank you enough, brother.”
*
Santiago only told Will what he knew about Dove. He had the mind to retain that information no matter what this trip threw at them. Plus, he trusted him with his life, plus a couple other lives that came to mind. Call it insurance, if things went south.
Plus, Will didn’t have Tom’s mouth, or twisted morality. Tom was more than willing to accept that Dove would miss out on their prospective fortune, that the ‘hunch’ would have to wait until Lorea was dealt with. Santiago knew his brothers well enough to know Benny would throw a hissy fit if they knew where Dove was and she wasn’t included. She’d spent enough time stitching up their war-torn skin and shoving them out of bullets to deserve a cut.
So, Pope told a little white lie. They had a stop in Mexico to meet with a contact. 
Frankie had murmured, “Better be worth it, stuck in this shitty car with you fuckers for ten hours.” 
Santiago resisted the urge to agree. God, he hoped it would be worth it too. He hoped he wasn’t driving them into a dead end, a bluff on Mark’s part. Or even worse, invading Dove’s beautiful new life without them. That would destroy everything; Dove, the boys, Frankie. What if she had settled down? What if he pulled into that idyllic beach bar she wanted and she’s there, a baby with the same brilliant eyes balanced on her hip? She was never sure about kids. A vivid mental picture of the wrong diamond, glistening on her ring finger in the afternoon sun, and the wrong man pecking her lips, made Santi physically wince. 
Fish would never forgive him. Will and Benny would never forgive him. He’d never forgive himself. 
It was a long, apprehensive drive. Santi’s eyes were drying, squinting against the headlights that occasionally glared past them. His jaw had been clenched for the last few hours as his anxiety grew, nothing but open road to stare at while he contemplated over and over as to whether it was the right decision. It didn’t help that Frankie never really slept like the others did on the move. While the other boys passed out, Frankie’s soft eyes continued scanning the scene flying past the window. It was like he stayed awake to watch Pope’s back, as if they were still in combat, or as an unspoken act of kindness to keep him company. 
Really, Frankie was a terrible sleeper. Santi remembered that from the early days, before he and Dove gave it up and became an item. He was the last to drift off and first to wake up, always restless. Once Dove started tip-toeing over to his cot in the night, he became the worst snorer in the division. Always splayed on his front, one arm tossed over Dove’s waist and the other under his pillow. She’d kick him in the night so he’d roll over and shut up, but it never lasted long. 
One night, Benny had enough, and groaned to Dove, “Put us out of our fuckin’ misery and smother him with your pillow, for the love of God.”
Dove had snapped back, “Fuck off, Benny, just ‘cause you aren’t getting any of the action doesn’t mean you have to get all bitter.”
“I’ve told you guys - I’m more than willing to join in-”
“Ben.” Frankie grumbled into her shoulder. It was gruff with sleep but still menacing enough to make the hairs on Dove’s arms stand on end.
Before a pillow smacked into his head, Benny guffawed, “Oh, so he is alive after all.”
*
Wringing a soft rag for polishing glasses between her fingertips, Dove descends the wooden steps at the entrance of the bar. The last huddle of regulars holler behind her, wrapping up their weekend drinks as the evening creeps closer to the early hours; Dove always notices the time when moths start colliding with the lanterns.
Roni rises from a crouch on the ground, dropping a paintbrush into a can with a clatter. “See, your own little touch!” 
The wooden panels that constructed the side of the bar, usually concealed by a stack of cardboard beer boxes, is decorated with little doves. Despite studying criminology, mainly for the satisfaction of her parents, Roni loved painting and insisted on brightening the exterior of their beach shack.
Dove cracks a half-smile. “It’s lovely, Ron. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” She beams, throwing the half-empty cans into the nearby bins. She pauses, glancing hesitantly at the older woman over her shoulder,  “Dove’s not your real name, right?”
“No, no. Nickname from when I was nursing overseas.” Dove chuckles, before adding, “Feels more like my real name than my Christian one nowadays.”
Roni passes Dove on the steps as she returns to the bar, “It suits you. You’re always graceful, but… you’re fucking fast.”
Dove laughs with her, ignoring the familiar clench in her chest. It’s exactly what Frankie used to say. The difference is Roni notices when she almost drops a glass, or her tray of drinks starts to wobble, and Dove is there to catch it with such fluidity Roni never saw her coming. Even the way Dove’s knife slices through fruit like each piece is a slab of melted butter. Frankie witnessed the extreme of that, the stealth and grace that usually ensured the enemy was dead before the others had even thought to raise their guns. Still, he admired her the same way Roni was right now. It was like awe.
It’s probably because he loved her effortlessly, every single aspect of her being without a glimmer of doubt or judgement. And now he wasn’t here.
The group of regulars stumbling down the steps break Dove from her thoughts, chortling and wishing her goodnight. One of the older men turns and jerks his thumb towards the road, “You might wanna tell them you’re closing, bonita.”
Before the road becomes the sand, there is a small, dusty wasteland that doubles as a makeshift car park. A vehicle is parked, glaring headlights facing towards the ocean and forming peculiar, alien-like beams in the dark. She’s definitely getting rusty; she’d barely registered the idling truck.
“I’ll sort ‘em out, Miguel, don’t you worry.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” He jokes, waving to her. “Buenos noches, Dove.”
Military habits are practically impossible to shake, and immediately, Dove’s mind launches into overdrive. She raises her hand above her eyes, squinting against the blinding white LEDs in an attempt to make out a registration plate or even a recognisable model. Her mind is fine-tuned to memorise; most of the locals’ cars are already catalogued in her memory, but this isn’t one of them.
Maybe they’re tourists, ready to push their luck with the opening times. That’s the reasonable side of Dove’s mind. The irrational, dark edges whisper, ‘What if someone found you?’ By someone, it means someone bad. Someone she wronged during her service, an enemy or straggler that got away. Even a civilian that might have been caught in the crossfire. She thought about those ghosts often. Hell, some of them she could still name. When she can’t sleep, sometimes she lists them, pictures their faces if she can recall them, just in case they ever came back.
She inhales a sharp gust of ocean air through her nostrils, welcoming the clarity that spreads through her mind. Parting her lips (the lips Frankie always teased were in a permanent pout), she released the breath slowly, trying to relax the stressed scrunch in her features.
“Your face is gonna get stuck like that someday.”
The voice is familiar. A deep, breathy chuckle, barrel-toned and gravelly. It sounds like home.
taglist: @mishasminion360
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crescentsteel · 4 years ago
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Keeping a Secret - Part 2
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pairing: Tsukishima x f!manager of Sendai Frogs genre: sexual tension/crack/fluff/slow burn warnings: lots of swear words, tsukki being a a closet softie wc: 6k (lol no chill as always)
[a/n]
Sorry for the delayed update. I added almost 1k words just to solidify the characters to give depth even more to the story. Feel free to reread. (It's totally not because I started a different series altogether.)
When I say this is slow burn, I meant sloooooooowww burn. 
Let me know if you want to be part of the taglist. :)
AO3 
Part 1 || Part 3 || masterlist
What were you even thinking? Actually,  why weren’t you? Had you used at least two brain cells of yours, you wouldn’t have momentarily lost your mind and kissed Tsukishima. You could’ve justified your actions if you were drunk, but you ingested not even an ounce of alcohol that night.
History will remember yesterday as the day a a sober you and a very displeased Tsukishima who found yourselves smooching publicly in the middle of a club. You’re just glad that no other member of the team goes to the same university you both go to. Else, you'd run the risk of getting seen.
Were so touch-deprived that you couldn’t resist even Tsukishima? And what about him? Why did he get along with it? You don’t think he actually hates you. Hate is such a strong word. He just exceedingly dislikes you. So why would he make out with you? Maybe he thought of it as a way of finally standing up to you?
Ugh.
You’re thankful that you didn’t have training yesterday. You were a mess the whole day trying to make sense of what happened. Not that you’re any better today; you’re still baffled as fuck. But you’re glad you had that day off so you wouldn’t have to face him immediately. 
For the first time ever, you’re dreading going to the gym. Even if you’re tired or you lack sleep, you’ve never felt distressed as the manager of the Sendai Frogs. All this because of Tsukishima. But can you really put the blame on him when it was you who initiated it?
“Good morning, y/n,” Eiji, the captain of the team greets you.
“Morning, Eiji,” you say back. Even though he’s older than you, you dropped the salutations already, same with everybody else. 
“You okay?” he asks worriedly. 
“Oh! Yeah, absolutely! When am I ever not okay?” You toughen it up and erase the troublesome kiss in your head. You are their ever shining manager, first and foremost. Anything outside of that has no place in this gym. 
“Never. It’s almost scary actually,” he answers with jest.
“Right? ‘Cause I’m a freaking goddess.”
He gives you a noble bow. “Indeed, you are, my lady.”
You giggle softly. Your players really are the best on and off the court (except for Tsukishima). “Go do your drills instead of buttering me up, ‘captain.’” He gives you a mock salute then jogs off towards the net. 
“Y/n!”
You saunter off to your coach after you were called. “Yes, Coach?”
“Can you help tape the blockers?” You nod willingly, quickly discarding unnecessary thoughts of Tsukishima. 
“Tsukishima’s free. Go start with him.”
You almost flinch upon hearing his name.
‘Great,’ you groan internally as you get the wrap from your kit and drag your feet toward the source of your uneasiness. But what did you expect? Of course, you’d have to deal with him sooner or later.
“Morning, Tsukishima,” you greet him with forced normalcy, acting like nothing’s wrong. As you take his left hand and you’re instantly reminded of what happened the other night -- how this hand gripped your waist while his mouth moved against yours… how his skin felt against the palm of your hand as he towered over you, body against body in a dance so dangerous and so hypnotizing that you lost yourself in the moment.
You tried your best to calm down yesterday, but seeing him right now makes you want to smack yourself from your momentary insanity that led you to kiss him.
Instead, you give him the nicest, brightest smile to channel your frustrations as you start taping his fingers. You just hope and pray that he doesn’t bring it up.
“Morning,  manager .” It was an indirect jab at you. Even when he says it with a dead tone, you know he’s taunting you by addressing you as manager - a tortuous reminder that what happened last Saturday night wasn’t forgotten.
Instead of yielding to the provocation, you respond with your own. You might have messed up, but you’re not letting him get the upper hand. “How was your weekend, Tsukki?” 
“Horrible,” he quickly answers without even thinking.
“Ditto. What happened to yours?” you ask with fake curiosity, already knowing why. Even if you didn’t kiss him then, he was already acting up like an angsty teen forced by his mom to attend a children’s party within the neighborhood.
“Went to a disgusting party.”
You nod pretentiously. “Mine’s horrible too. I got g-”
“I didn’t ask,” he interrupts.
“Well, you’re still going to hear it,” you respond just as distastefully as he cut you off. “I got groped by some perv, but I kinda punched some good manners unto him.” You release his left hand and take his right one to tape it as well. 
“And?” He asks.
You shrug your shoulders. “That’s it. After that, I just went home from how  horrible  the experience was.”
You look up to him, meeting his sardonic gaze paired with a raised eyebrow from what you just said. You know that he understood that you were referring to something else other than the perv incident as horrible.
“How about you? What happened to that disgusting party of yours?” you press on.
“I bumped into someone I didn’t really want to see.”
“And?”
“Do you really wanna know how horrible it was for me?” A smirk creeps up on the corner of his mouth as he asks. There were many times before that you’ve wanted a taste of Tsukishima’s vile sarcasm, just to know what he’d say to you. Today is not one of those times. You don’t want him using that reckless kiss against you. 
“Actually, no. I don’t really care.” You let go of his hand you just finished working with and look around to look for anyone you could use as a distraction from Tsukishima’s attempt to retell the kiss from his perspective.
“Kogane!” you brightly call the setter as you bounce cheerfully towards him. 
Even if you don’t show it, Tsukishima knows he’s gotten under your previously impenetrable thick skin. He detests what happened last Saturday. The more he remembers it, the more he abhors it. The only reason he’s not totally hating himself for getting swept along with your shit is because he knows you hated it too, probably more than he does since it was you who kissed him first.
His smug grin only spreads when you march to Kogane with that cutesy act you only show to players from opposing teams to unsettle them before matches. You take both Kogane’s hands and beam at him. “Do you want me to tape your fingers?”
“Y-you don’t have to, y/n. I can do it myself!” Kogane blurts out, panicking at your sudden closeness and physical touch.
“But I love taking care of you guys,” you pout at Kogane, which only makes the setter blush a shade almost close to red.
Tsukishima follows you to help his babbling, flustered teammate.
“You’re going to kill him, y/n,” he says as he passes by you and Kogane who now looks like he stopped functioning.
You blink at Kogane, realizing what you’re doing to the poor guy.
You must have been really bothered by Tsukishima and unknowingly projected it to someone else.
Tsukishima sneers as he sees you try to ease Kogane from his severe fluster but only make it worse by rubbing his shoulders. 
A dash of pride and satisfaction swells on Tsukishima’s chest as he watches you get agitated with the situation you, yourself caused. Getting back at you feels even better than he imagined it would be. 
--
Even though you and Tsukishima are in the same class, you don’t really notice his presence. Sometimes you’d even forget you’re classmates. Now, though, you are more aware of the fact that he’s actually there than you ever have.
“Alright, class. For your main project this semester, I’m going to have you partnered up. You need to come up with a comprehensive report on mating behavior of reptiles. I’ll randomly generate your assigned reptile.”
You groan. Another collaborative work in the same subject. You don’t like working with others because you don’t want to adapt to anyone’s schedule. You like to get things done ahead of time. You hate procrastinating because you don’t want your uni requirements getting mixed up with potential tasks from your managerial job, especially whenever tournament seasons come. 
The last collaborative work you worked on is a group project where you did most of the work yourself. You wouldn’t have minded if you didn’t have fucking freeloaders as groupmates.  The little shits made you do 90% of the project because you wanted it done early.
You just pray that this time, you get to be paired with someone responsible. You tap your pen on your desk while you wait for your name to be called.
“L/n and Tsukishima.”
You drop your pen at your professor’s announcement. It bounces twice on your desk before rolling to the floor, but you don’t move to pick it up. Your gaze immediately flies to where Tsukishima is seated and find him glaring at you already. You almost want to laugh at how ridiculous this entire situation is.
Seriously? Were you a serial killer in your previous life or something? Did some higher power decide to punish you for your grave sins like this? 
Whatever. You’re not having any of this shit. 
You wait until the class is over and approach your professor. “Sir. I’d like to do this project alone.” Or at least with someone else. 
He continues to type something on his laptop, not bothering to look up at you, as he asks, “Why is that?”
“I just feel more comfortable doing things on my own, Sir. Please.” You try to give him your nice student smile but his eyes don't leave his screen.
“Then what? Have you increase my workload?”
Shit. You forgot that this particular professor of yours is known to not budge to anyone. You scramble your brain for another excuse.
“Sir. Can I do this project alone?” you suddenly hear Tsukihima’s voice behind you.
Finally, your professor closes his laptop and eyes you two unenthusiastically. “My answer is no to miss Y/n, so my answer to you, Mr. Tsukishima, is also no. I don’t know what the deal is between you two, but you’re doing this together.”
You can’t help but scowl despite being right in front of your professor. If it wasn’t for that darn kiss, you would’ve loved working with Tsukishima. Even though you don’t have the same classes, his schedule won’t be that hard to match up with because you two have the same training days. Secondly, he’s smart. You won’t have to carry the whole weight of the project. 
“You know what, I’ll reconsider.” A glimmer of hope lights up in your chest as you hear your professor’s words. “I’ll allow you two to work individually — but with an automatic ten point deduction for this project.”
“No,” you and Tsukishima respond at the same time. 
“Great! You’re already getting along swimmingly.” Your professor picks up his stuff and stands up. “Enjoy,” he waves a dismissive goodbye and leaves.
You slowly turn around to face Tsukishima and find that you share the same lour that he has. You cross your arms and lean on your professor’s desk. “Guess we’re together, Tsukishima.” 
--
You allowed yourself one week to compose yourself before you agreed to start the project with Tsukishima. You still saw him at training days, and even then, you tried to have the least amount of interaction with him so the ‘incident’ wouldn’t be brought up again. Meeting him for a project where it’s just you two is different and you needed time.
As much as you don’t want to be with him, you told yourself that it’ll be over soon. You just pushed the kiss in the back of your head and convinced yourself that it was just a stupid kiss. It didn’t mean anything. He probably just went along with it out of spite, so it’s best you think of it as a spur of the moment madness. That way, you won’t be bothered if he sordidly brings it up again. At least now, you can go back to your usual, cheeky self around him.
You’re about to text Tsukishima that you’ve arrived at the station you agreed to meet up at but you already see him there standing while he’s scrolling his phone with his usual white headphones on.
Unfortunately for you and him, the reptile assigned to you two are crocodiles. It’s the worst possible assignment you could get among the roster of reptiles assigned. You need to travel all the way to Wakabayashi for a legitimate crocodile farm to observe, compared to other reptiles which are easily accessible with nearby zoos in Miyagi. You just pray that you’ll only need this one trip to get all the data you need for your report.
You walk towards him and instantly regard how he looks. Despite being in the same university, you don’t see him around much. Even in your sole class together, you’re seated way too apart from each other to even look at each other’s direction. Not that being seated beside each other would’ve made a difference. You’re not friends. There’s no need to talk to him since everything that’s volleyball-related is relayed through line. To you, he’s just one of your players. As far as you’re concerned, the only Tsukishima you’re aware of is the one sweating his white shirt and training shorts during practice. 
To have this much involvement with him outside the gym is throwing you out of your usual loop. You continue studying him at a distance. Today he’s wearing white plaid pants, black turtleneck (probably long sleeves) with a lighter shade of black coat on top, and a brown wool scarf. He also has a gray bonnet that makes his blonde locks frame his face nicely. 
What the heck? Did he always dress like this even in class? How come you never noticed? 
He finally notices you. He puts down his phone and removes his headphones. “How long have you been there?”
“Wow, Tsukishima. You look kinda hot,” you blurt out without thinking.
His eyes expand at your statement that came out of nowhere. “Huh?!”
“Oh, sorry. That must’ve been random. But you look really good though. I kinda feel like I’m meeting a date,” you say with objective candor as you continue to stare at him. 
That catches him completely off guard. The other day you’re on the edge around him. You weren’t even paying much attention to him during training, but now you’re back to being a headache whose mouth knows no bounds as you faze him with your unfiltered thoughts. Now, it’s him who is uncomfortable again with your thorough eyes scanning him approvingly. 
“As if I’d ever date you,” he snaps back at your remark to which you scoff at.
“I didn’t say you would. Maybe you’re forgetting, I’d never go out with a member of the team.”
“Right. But kissing one is totally fine, huh?” he retaliates in an instant with a condescending look. He waits for your reaction, eager to see you distraught and bothered by it. To his dissatisfaction, you don’t behave in such a way. Instead, you sigh defeatedly.
“Yeah. Sorry about that. I got a little crazy that night,” you say casually to a degree that you sounded like it was just a petty accident. “You kissed me back, so I’m sure you were too. Right?” 
The last word is conniving, and he can tell why you phrased it that way. You’re leaving him no choice but to disregard what happened or else it’s going to seem like it meant something to him. The hell it does. It simply resurfaces back on his mind sometimes because of how unpleasant the memory is. 
‘Devious woman,’ he snarls in his head.
It should be okay. Your reason for what you did can also be his excuse for how responded to it. What he didn’t like is that he hasn’t even managed to make the most out of that incident, while you immediately found a way to undo the grave you dug for him to bury you into.
Plus, the only advantage he sees out of partnering with you for this project is the possibility of being able to pester you the way you pester him during practice. Obviously, that’s already thrown off the window. Now, there’s nothing in it for him for the duration of the project. He is left with nothing but the fact that he has to endure your company. To think that he’s already so miserable when this afternoon has barely even started.
“Yeah,” he answers with contained resentment. “Can we go on the bus now?” He asks to deviate away from the topic already. He was hoping he could still use the incident to unnerve you, but it’s for naught now. 
He enters the bus first and assumes you’ll follow him, which you do as you take your seat beside him. You get your shoulder bag and take out a notebook.
“Can you take a look at this outline I made for our report?” you ask while you hand him your notebook opened at a certain page.
“I can’t read while the bus is moving,” he says then waits for a lame comeback from you. But you don’t comment about it. Why must you keep on being such a wildcard?
“Ah, okay. I’ll just tell it to you then,” you smile at him. “This trip is going to take long. It’d be a waste of time to not make use of it, right?”
He groans internally. Why must you be right all the fucking time?
He also made an outline last night, but he didn’t tell you because he thought it’d be better if he just did the data-gathering himself and let you take the pictures the report should have. He forgot that you’re not as irresponsible and carefree as you present yourself to be.
He listens to you explain your outline, looking for flaws in it for the sake of his grade and also for his self-satisfaction. And he does find a few.
“You should have separate discussion points for mating characteristics for male and females. I’m sure they have distinct traits. Also, I think we should include more than just one species, preferably three if the farm has it.” He continues, “Maybe we can note certain unique behaviors per species. It would be inconclusive, but it would still be nice to include it as a commentary.”
He hopes to extract even just a tiny hint of embarrassment from you for he’s thought of it better than you did. But you just stare at him for a good few seconds before you break into a dazzled smile.
“Oh my God. Yeah, you’re absolutely right!”
You open your notebook and scribble the changes in your drafted outline. “Is there anything else?” You consult him genuinely. You accept his criticisms with an open mind, which vexes him even more. 
“Nothing,” he grumbles.
“Alright. Let’s just revise it again once we see what’s on the farm.”
He doesn’t bother replying anymore since you’re once again right.
He puts on his headphones again to drown out whatever chatter you plan to have with him since you’re done discussing the project for now. Instead of bugging him, you take out a bunch of readings and focus on them intently, completely ignoring him. 
With nothing to entertain him aside from the music on his ears, his peripheral keeps going back to you and how hard you’re concentrating with the papers in your one hand and a pen in the other. 
He removes one muff of his headphone from his ear and asks you, “Don’t you get motion sickness?”
You really must be into what you’re studying because you flinch when he speaks, causing you to drop your pen. 
He feels responsible for it so he leans down to pick it up, but you also do the same. As you both reach down to grab your pen, your temple collides with his. 
“Ow,” your fingers go to massage the spot, failing to notice as he does that your faces are too close for comfort. He watches you wince for a quick while before looking at him, finally realizing that he’s within a proximity familiar to you both. 
It’s reminiscent of that night except this time, the natural light affirms that it wasn’t just the ambiance of the club that made you attractive enough to pull him in and share that heinous kiss. With your well-lit features, he can see that you’re thinking about the same thing he is.
Your eyes fall on his lips and for some illogical reason, he does the same.
Like last time, you’re the first to act on it. The major difference is, instead of leaning in, you retreat. You sit up straight with your fingers still on the side of your head and smile graciously at him. “It’s fine, Tsukishima. I’ll get it,” you say, which he finds half-witted because he’s still bent down and he can already grasp the pen.
He sits back up and hands you your pen. You use the hand on your temple to get it.
“Oh, thanks.” You stare at the pen for a second, then tuck it in your pocket. “Anyways, yeah. I don’t have problems reading in a moving vehicle.”
You dive back to his question and disregard what just happened. It works for him. He’d rather not think about it as well. 
“Have you not seen me scrambling paperwork on our bus rides to and from tournaments?”
“No.” He prefers not to pay attention to you. Hell, he pretends you don’t exist when he can. So naturally, he doesn’t know what it is you do when you’re not being your pestering self. It pains him to admit it, but you do get shit done -- efficiently, too. He should be glad because at least, you won’t be like his previous groupmates.
Still, just you being … you, ticks him off.
You laugh out of nowhere. “For someone who doesn’t speak much, you’re so fucking transparent.”
He frowns, not being able to grasp what you meant.
“Okay, look. I like pissing you off. I really do. And you, you don’t like me a lot. But for this project. Can we pretend that I’m not your annoying manager and you’re not the nasty Tsukishima I know?” 
“How the fuck can I do that when we see each other almost everyday as such?”
You roll your eyes and smirk. “Right. What was I even thinking? Go ahead and be emo with your music over there while I study here, yeah?” You pat him on the shoulders twice with that patronizing grin you always give him before pulling your pen back from your pocket and focusing once more on your readings, completely paying no attention to him for the rest of the trip.
As soon as you reach the crocodile farm, Tsukishima suggests that you two roam the area separately to cover more ground. In reality, he just wanted to get rid of you even for just a few minutes. He needed a break from you.
He does so by taking his time strolling around the place, observing how the area is situated. It looks like a park with its vast lush green environment and man-made waters to habituate the crocodiles. There are four main areas: the museum, the hatchling house, the zoo, and the breeding pens. He first goes to the museum, looking at the skeletal structure of some crocodiles. It isn’t really significant to the project but he can’t help admire it.
When he realizes that he’s taking longer than he initially thought, he starts looking for you. He sends you a text, but you don’t reply. You had gone to the zoo’s direction so he assumes you’re somewhere around that area. 
When he does find you, you’re not alone.
There you are near a crocodile pen, getting friendly with a guy he’s sure you just met.
It’s so familiar. The only difference is that you’re not wearing the Frogs’ jacket and you’re not in the Sendai gymnasium. He walks towards your direction, not caring if he’s going to cut off your little chat. You’re there for the project, not to snag some random bozo.
As he closes in behind you, he hears your conversation.
“Actually, birds are more closely related to dinosaurs than crocodiles. You couldn’t tell, right?” you explain with zeal. 
Tsukishima stops in his tracks at the foreign feeling in his chest. Wait a minute. Is he actually impressed? Moreover, what the heck is he impressed for? You should know that. You are both in a higher herpetology class. Even though it hasn’t been discussed during lectures, it’s natural that you know that. However, the guy you’re talking with isn't as enthusiastic. 
“Can’t blame you though. Crocs and dinos share the same sexy vibe with those chill eyes and scaly skin. Also, look at those smokin webbed feet. Fucking work of art, dude. You feel me?” you press on fanatically.
The stranger looks at you with a forced smile, obviously weirded out by your ‘passionate’ description of the reptile. “Yeah, sure. I have to go now. Bye,” the guy bows and storms away from you. 
You turn your attention back to the lowered pen in front of you with a satisfied smile and shudder when you see Tsukishima already there beside you. 
“Gah! You scared me. Why didn’t you say anything?” you ask with your hand still on your chest.
“I didn’t want to interrupt you creeping out that stranger.”
You tither at his answer. “Glad you didn’t. It was fun seeing him all freaked out.” 
He finds it weird. He thought you just had an aversion towards athletes. That’s why you keep driving away anyone who’d approach you during matches. Apparently, that’s not the case.
“He looked like he’d follow you back to Miyagi if you didn’t go all freaky nerdy on him.” 
You jeer at his comment. “He could follow me to the ends of the Earth and I still wouldn’t give him my number. I’d rather date Mr. Crocodylus siamensis over here than boring dum dums blinded by how hot I am.” 
“Then why do you entertain them?” he follows up.
“Caaaauuusse it’s fun to see them squirm,” you declare cheerfully as you veer your gaze at him. “Why the sudden interest with the way I handle men, Tsukishima?”
You raise an eyebrow, the corner of your lips tugging up to form a playful smirk. “Don’t tell me you suddenly find me interesting?”
You really do know how to push the right buttons to provoke him. He grits his teeth from your audacity.
“I’m joking for fuck’s sake! My god. I already know that even if it’s just the two of us on this planet, and we’d have to procreate to restart the world population, you’d rather choose to doom humanity than have anything to do with me.”
Among all the correct things that came out of your mouth, that was the only thing he could verbally agree with. “Good you know,” he retorts. 
You don’t seem to take offense though. You still keep your unwavering smile as you get your phone out and take a picture of the Borneo crocodile. 
“Should we go see the breeding pens now?” you ask nonchalantly, dismissing the previous conversation like it was nothing. 
--
You both decide to hire a designated tour guide to assist you while you observe the crocodiles, particularly the ones for breeding. 
“Hi, Ms. l/n. I’m Sara and I will be your guide for today,” she introduced herself with a dedicated smile.
“I’m so thrilled that you and your boyfriend decided to learn more about crocodiles for your date,” she adds. 
You and Tsukishima glance at each other before turning back to her. 
“She’s not my girlfriend.” “He’s not my boyfriend.”
You both say simultaneously, except yours sounded like a friendly correction while his sounded like a dead announcement. 
“We’re just classmates for a project,” you correct her.
She bows apologetically with embarrassment and worry. “I’m so sorry for assuming that.”
“No worries, Sara,” you reassure her before Tsukishima says something unnecessary. “Can you lead us on the breeding pens? We’d like to observe the whole thing.” 
“Of course. Right this way.”
Aside from the mishap earlier, you find Sara competent at her job as she fills you in with details not included in the sign boards in the pens. She gives you information about the mating process that you didn’t find when you researched about the subject. You assume Tsukishima’s thinking the same because he doesn’t say anything out of the blue.
“By any chance, will we see a pair mating today?” he asks after a while.
“I’m not really sure, Mr. Tsukishima. It’s really up to the animals.”
You tug on Tsukishima’s sleeve when you catch sight of one crocodile latching himself on top of another.
“What?” he asks irritatedly, but follows your line of sight. 
“Oh, lucky. There you go.” Sara announces with a pleasant smile.
You get your phone and your notes. You multitask listening to Sara, taking photos, and scribbling notes on your paper pad. 
On the other hand, Tsukishima multitasks observing the crocodiles in action and observing you. 
You’re asking important questions to the guide while juggling other tasks. Yes, he doesn’t like you and loathes being partnered with you. However, that doesn't mean he won’t cooperate with you. He won’t mind if you ask him for help, but you seem to have even forgotten that he’s there. 
He grabs your phone from your hand, garnering a confused look from you.
“I’ll take the photos. You take down notes.”
You flash him an honest, grateful smile. “Thanks, Tsukishima.”
Then, you proceed with the things you’re doing more at ease. 
He can’t tell who he’s more pissed at, you or himself. Something about that display of productivity and wit unnerves him. It’s as if it’s telling him that his chagrin over you is unreasonable because you’re actually reliable when it counts. What’s worse is you’re completely oblivious to it. In fact, you’re almost ignoring him.
Goddamn it. What’s he doing? He’s completely distracted now from the project and is solely focused on you. He quickly shakes it off and calms himself down. His attention should be on the reptiles, not you.
He turns his attention back to the crocodiles, but the mating act only lasted a few minutes. After that, you both barrage Sara with an array of questions that she looked too overwhelmed by the end of your tour. 
You’ve covered almost everything for the day and it’s already around 6 in the evening when you get on a bus on the way back to Miyagi.
“That was fun!” you comment ardently with an abnormal shine on your face when you sit down on the bus on the way back. He wears his headphones on before you start a conversation he’s not willing to have. From his peripheral, he sees you turning to him and as he predicted, your mouth begins moving while you animatedly narrate words he could not hear. 
He’s already acting as if he can’t hear nor see you, but you still don’t stop. Knowing you, you will not stop until you make sure he notices you. He wearily removes his headphones only to see you not saying anything and only mouthing words with hand gestures. 
“Seriously?” He scowls at you. He’s already exhausted at having to deal with you even for just half a day, but you still have the energy to mess with him. 
You cover your mouth with your hand as you snicker but it erupts into a hoot of laughter shortly. You gasp ridiculously after you ride out your stupid amusement from poking at his patience. “Tsukki, I swear to God. You make the best faces,” you say while wiping away your joyous tears.
“Were you even going to say something worth listening to?” he questions sourly.
You study him then shake your head. “I think you’re tired, so let’s just discuss what we gathered next time. You can go ignore me now,” you tell him with an understanding smile despite the slight banter.
You tilt your body in his direction and hoist yourself up a bit to put his headphones back yourself like it’s no big deal.
You settle back into your seat while he stills on his seat, stunned with what you just did while you get your readings again and shrink to your own bubble. You don’t seem to make anything of it, so he doesn’t as well. It was very you to mindlessly get on anyone’s —  particularly his — personal space anyways.
He increases the volume of his headphones and tries to relax. Yet, his attention keeps swerving back at you every now and then. You’re really concentrating hard with your brows burrowed while you stare at your hand-outs. After a while, he notices you bobbing your head from the corners of his eyes.
He can tell you’re as tired as he is and trying hard to fight the sleep that’s taking over you. The bunch of papers you previously held are now clutched on your lap.
On the last bob of your head, you snap out of it. You blink repeatedly and return your eyes to your readings again. To no avail, you’re shutting down with your eyes fluttering when you try again. You look like you decided to give it a rest and put your papers back in your bag. You cross your arms and lean back to your seat. 
He feels relieved that you finally yield to your physical exhaustion. He doesn’t need an additional bullet point to his list of why he can’t fully hate you. Also, you won’t run your mouth at him if you’re asleep.
He feels the soft thump of your head on his shoulder. You probably did too as you suddenly bolt up and tell him ‘sorry' which he only understands based on how you mouthed the word. You lean back again and try to settle back to sleep. But when you start dozing off, you sway to the other side of your seat which is the aisle of the bus.
He grabs your shoulder to prevent you from tumbling down to the aisle. Your disoriented self looks around, alarmed at his sudden touch.
“Just fucking lean on me,” he spits out, irked that he has to say it out loud. It’s not like he pushed you away. You could’ve just stayed as you were and he would’ve turned a blind eye at it out of recognition of the effort you put in today. He’d just consider it one of those times that you do something annoying and he just ignores you as a response.
You regard him with dazed eyes. You open your mouth as if you’re about to say something but decide against it as you shut your eyes again and you let your head rest on his shoulder. But even then, your head still falls forward from time to time. He puts a hand on your forehead to settle you back on his shoulder and slides a bit downward on his seat to accommodate you. 
Jesus Christ, you can study in a moving vehicle but can’t even do a simple thing like sleep properly on it. Why does he even have to adjust for you?
He heaves furiously in contrast to your steady breathing, letting him know that you’re easing deeper to your sleep. 
He distracts himself by looking at the window, witnessing the unmoving dark sky and the changing scenery below. He lets out a sigh.
Maybe he should’ve just accepted the ten point deduction.
Part 1 || Part 3 || masterlist
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Text
Blue Moon - Part 4
A/N: See masterlist for prompts used. (And the list of amazing people who have helped me with this.) I felt it necessary to say, remember, these are all following along with the episodes from 03x04 on till the end of 3A. Without *directly* inserting the reader into the plot line, but more an off screen role. (Aside from the beginning, where, obviously, Derek fought the Alpha’s while Cora watched from the sidelines.) And because of that, it’s more angst than I usually write. It was a very angsty season. And the prompts have inherent angst, but lots of fluff, and sass, so once we get out of the murkiness that is Jennifer Blake (can you tell I don’t like her? - which, kudos to the actress, who I think is beautiful and brilliant, for making me hate her so much. 😆) we can move on to that happy, feel good, Sourwolf love we all enjoy so much. But until then, I guess this counts as a slow burn of sorts?
I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.
Warnings: See Masterlist
Word count: 2,633
Xxx
The next day was lonely. Stiles would text you every now and then, but other than that it was a quiet day. No word about Derek from anyone other than Peter and Cora going to get his body and it not being there. And neither was Ennis’, who Derek had pulled down with him. You decided not to dwell on the many possible things that could mean. 
You drove in silence to all the places Stiles had mentioned the night before and spoke meekly at each one. You felt almost like you were floating through the day, going through the motions, but your mind was a million miles away. 
The meet ended up getting canceled due to weather, and they were all going to be stuck staying at some crappy motel that Stiles insisted was haunted through multiple texts with an excessive amount of emojis. You couldn’t get ahold of anyone else, which was kinda odd, but also not totally abnormal.
To top it all off, you needed something you left at the loft, so you told the Sheriff - who had taken the night off and ordered a pizza to stay in with you this evening, after finding out Stiles wasn’t coming right back - you would be back in a flash, you just had to “run home real quick”, careful not to mention the loft, to which he just chuckled and said something along the lines of, “Just make sure you run the speed limit.”
Sighing as you pulled into the loft parking lot, you glanced through the windshield up at the top floor where it sat. It was so ominous looking, bathed in moonlight, it almost gave a faint glow. Resting your forehead on the steering wheel, you took some deep breaths, panic rising as flashes of your tango with an Alpha came back rapidly. But instead of feeling like a badass, it made you hyperventilate. There was this gnawing feeling that it had been a one time thing, and that should you ever encounter them again you would be in so much trouble. 
Taking one last deep breath to steady your nerves, you stopped mid inhale, slightly cocking your head to the side, eyebrows knitted in confusion. 
Derek. 
You had caught Derek’s scent. Well, it’s his loft, you rationalized to yourself. But no. This was fresh. Less than a few hours old. Glancing back up at the loft one last time, you grabbed the handle and yanked your door open, mustering the courage you could find to climb up the winding staircase and see for yourself.
Taking them two at a time, you felt your courage build with each step and your hope that Derek was there along with it. As you stood in front of the loft door, your outstretched hand just shy of the handle and trembling, you took a tentative breath and knew Derek had been here very recently. That was the final push you needed to firmly grip the handle of the loft door, preparing to give it a hefty pull, but something made you stop short. 
A whisper. 
Just on the other side of the door, a woman's voice, then Derek’s. Surely your mind was playing tricks on you; you didn’t smell anyone else. You did pick up on something vaguely familiar, but couldn’t place it. The smell reminded you of school, and the crime scenes of the sacrifices you had been at, and lately, the loft. Unable to place the smell, you slowly slid the door open, stopping after only a few inches to peek in. 
What you saw made your heart speed up, as there Derek sat on the edge of his bed, covered in scratches and blood, but alive. He was alive. 
Your feet that had been glued to the floor suddenly felt like they were floating, the distance between him and you too much. You couldn’t contain the smile that brought to your lips, but it soon melted when another figure stepped into view in front of him. On instinct you had started to move forward, barely making it over the threshold before the other silhouette made you pull up short.
Jennifer. 
You covered your mouth to hold in whatever was about to come out, anger, disgust, pain, you didn’t know, they were all swirling in your gut at the sight. You fell to your knees, bracing yourself on the doorframe to try and stay just out of sight.
No, Derek hadn’t caught your scent yet, which is what you found the most strange, and worrisome, and only reinforced that she was doing something to his mind. 
You finally placed the smell as belonging to Miss Blake, but it was different from her scent she had all the other times you had seen her, and that somehow made it worse. It didn’t smell like emotions or anything, it smelled like an entirely different being. Barely even human.
This last thought made you knit your eyebrows in determination, about to rise to your feet, charge in there, and show the she devil a thing or two, but you only made it to one knee, still bent on the floor, before you froze, eyes wide, eyebrows practically in your hairline. What you saw could never be unseen. Like two dogs in heat, they were on one another as if space between them was too painful. Your grip on the door frame and the loft door handle almost broke them under the pressure. 
You felt sick. Physically sick to your stomach. Whether from the feeling of betrayal, knowing you were right that something was weird about this whole thing, the fact that they had been getting it on in front of you, or all of the above, you weren’t quite sure.
Sliding the door shut calmly, you tried to keep it together as you softly, but quickly, made it back down the stairs, into your car, and back to the Stilinski driveway, putting your car in park and shutting off the engine before you let yourself feel anything. 
You wanted to kick and scream and sob your eyes out because you knew she had been doing something to him, you knew something was wrong, but you didn’t go with your gut, and now here you were. In your car, alone. In front of the Stilinski house. Silent tears racing down your face at the feeling of betrayal, both from seeing them together tonight and at yourself for not doing something sooner. 
A tap on your window made you jump, and you saw the Sheriff trying to peek in. Opening your door, you hopped out, swiping rapidly at your tears, and plastering a smile on your face. “Sorry that took so long.”
He looked at you skeptically, waving it off. “Nah. The pizza just got here. You’re right on time.”
Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he ushered you into the house, quietly closing the front door behind the both of you. He stayed silent until you were both in the living room. He had the remote in his hand about to press play on the movie, but it dipped once in hesitation before he sighed, and it fell along with his hand to the armrest beside him. Scrubbing his face for a moment with his free hand, he finally looked up at you. Opening his mouth once before snapping it shut, staring blankly in front of him as if the space held the right thing to say, he scratched his forehead with the remote, his face making the face you had come to learn and love earlier on from Stiles. “Are you okay, Y/N?”
You stopped trying to grab a slice of pizza from the box, clearing your throat and wiping your sweaty palms on your jeans before nodding gently, staring at the floor. “Yeah.” You looked up and met his gaze, seeing concern painting his features. “Yeah, I’m okay, Mr. Stilinski. Just boy trouble. Thanks for asking.” You smiled as best you could, and he seemed to do the same. 
“Well, we’ve known each other forever, sweetheart, and I want you to know that you can tell me anything.”
The smile on your face felt a little more genuine. “I know. Thank you.”
“No matter how uncomfortable it makes me,” he continued as if you hadn’t said anything. The words sounded pained and forced, his brows knit like he was eating a lemon, and you finally let out the full smile that had been trying break through, even laughing. 
His lips twitched up gently. “There she is.”
“I will. Thank you. But for both of our sakes-” you leaned in, placing a hand on his forearm- “I’ll probably just tell Stiles.”
“Oh, thank God.” He let out on a huff of air, making you laugh again. “Now. Let’s watch this movie.” He hit play, and you settled into the couch, letting the plot unfolding on the screen take you away, if only for a little while.
Xxx
Your phone vibrated in your pocket, waking you up with a start. 
The DVD menu played softly on a loop, the movie long over, and to your right the Sheriff was snoring with his head on the back of the couch. 
You tossed the blanket you had been using on top of him before leaving the room and checked your phone, only to see it was Stiles.
“Stiles?” You spoke quietly into the receiver, not wanting to wake the Sheriff. 
“Y/N? Why are you whispering?” Stiles sounded kind of stressed, just a little bit off. 
“Your dad took off work tonight and we had a pizza - yes, I let him have pizza, don’t you dare jump on my case and go on a tirade about how he needs a salad, let the man live, Stiles - and we watched a movie.”
“I was wondering why that soundtrack was playing on a loop in the background. He used a DVD, didn’t he? I taught him how to use streaming-”
“Stiles!” You cut off his tangent with a chuckle. “Why are you calling me so late. Or, is it early?” You checked your watch to find it was early morning, still dark outside. 
“Well, let’s just say tonight has been interesting, we are all alive, which is good, but sleeping on the bus-”
“The bus?”
“The bus. Our rooms weren’t safe, and I don’t mean because of roaches or mysterious stains, Y/N.” You grinned. “Although there was this one smell in my room that was rather suspect….”
Smell. Scent. Shit.
Screwing your eyes shut, palm on your forehead, you spoke quickly, “Stiles, don’t be angry with me.” Peeking your head into the other room to see the Sheriff still soundly asleep, you stepped onto the back porch and closed the door behind you, ignoring Stiles’ incessant questions as you did. 
“Stiles! Hush! I had to leave the room so your dad didn’t hear!” 
“Oh,” was all he said. You heard the squeak of the bus as he slumped back against it, obviously doing the same as you and trying to get a bit of privacy. 
Taking a deep breath, you told him everything you saw at the loft. 
The only thing he did was suck in a sharp breath, but was otherwise silent. Finally he said, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
“Yeah, thanks, whatever.” You cleared your throat, looking down at your feet before lifting your gaze to stare vacantly across the yard. “My main concern was that scent. It didn’t smell human, but not entirely not human.”
“Well, that’s terrifying,” Stiles said blandly, making your lips twitch up just slightly. You heard another voice on the other end, Scott, and Stiles mumbled something about speakerphone before the phone was jostled around a bit. You could hear a mumbled, “Well, no, you don’t need speakerphone because you’re a freak of nature, Scott, but I, a mere mortal, need the aid.” You chuckled and could hear Scott let out a groan and soft chuckle himself. 
“Y/N?” Finally Scott’s voice came through clearly.
“Yeah?” 
“First of all, thank you. For everything.” His voice sounded distant, and you sure as hell were going to interrogate them when they got back as to what the hell happened that night at the motel, but for now you just nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see you and rolled your eyes. 
“You’re welcome, Scott. The feeling’s mutual. Thanks for making it so easy.”
Stiles humphed. “I feel like that last part was directed at me.”
“But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
A mumbled, “Thanks, I guess,” but you could hear his smile. 
“Y/N, the scent. The one you smelled at Derek’s loft.” Scott was back to business. “I think I smelled it here tonight.”
“Really? How is that-” You were cut off by Scott who was obviously talking to Stiles. 
“Right before we decided to stay in the bus, when Lydia saw something in the fire, after the explosion-”
"Okay, what the hell happened to you guys?!" you asked loudly, cutting them off. Grimacing, you quickly used your hearing to pick up on the Sheriff's continued snores, let out a sigh of relief, and lowered your voice. "I feel so left out."
“No, I’m glad you weren’t here,” Scott said. “Long story short, something went after a specific group of our friends, and when it finally showed its face,” you heard Lydia cut in from somewhere behind, “I’d barely call that a face,” and you didn’t know whether to laugh or be afraid. 
Scott continued pointedly, “When it showed its face, I got a whiff of something I can only describe how you described the smell at the loft. Not human. But also not… not…. human.”
A smacking sound could be heard, and you realized Stiles was patting Scott on the back while saying, “It’s okay, bud. It’s been a long day.”
“One question.” You took a deep breath, trying to decide on the winner of thousands that swam around your brain right now. “Why is Lydia there?”
“She came with Allison.”
“Why was Allison there, Stiles?”
“Uh-uh. You said one question.”
“This is still technically the same question since they apparently came together.”
“….Touché,” Stiles finally came back with, before sighing. “Look, I’ll tell you everything when we get back, okay? It’s been a hell of a day and I just want to sleep,” he continued in a mumble, “if I can ever sleep again after seeing what I’ve seen.” A brief pause. “You werewolves need to come with a disclaimer. ‘May cause sleep disturbances’.” 
You laughed loudly. “Okay, okay. I know I’m not going to get anywhere with you guys this tired. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” came a chorus of voices, and you felt relief wash over you at the sound of each one, knowing they were safe and sound. 
“Goodbye, Y/N.” Stiles’ voice came through by itself after some fumbling, probably taking you off speakerphone.
“Goodbye, Stiles. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay on the phone until you fall asleep? I mean, I am part of the reason, after all. I do come with a disclaimer.”
“I would absolutely love that, but I need to save my battery and I am in a bus surrounded by werewolves, whatever Lydia is, and a hunter. I think my security system is pretty good for tonight.”
You chuckled. “Okay then. Goodnight, Stiles.
“Goodnight, Y/N. Oh!”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for being there with my dad.”
“No problem, Stiles. You know he’s like family to me. He was there for me when I came back from the loft, said I could talk about it if I needed.”
“He offered to listen while you talked?!” He was almost yelling. 
You laughed again. “Goodnight, Stiles.”
He chuckled. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
Xxx
Tags: @mayahart02, @palaiasaurus64, @shydinosaurcandy, @lucyqueenofthestars, @c-breanne1999, @l4life, @ethereallysimple, @teenwolffan-with-nolife, @bellabadacadabra, @lilostif16, @wandas-love, @emily500, @babygirl-angel-love, @c-dizzle99 What’s This?
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jensmisha · 3 years ago
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@jensmisha​‘s destiel fic rec post
these are mostly just fics i haven’t seen in anyone else’s rec lists yet 
heed all the warnings on the fic posts. some of these are dark/disturbing/angsty/etc.
fics under the cut!!
all my goodness is gone with you now by emmbrancsxx0
There was an odd sort of symmetry to it. This is how their story began: Dean climbing out of a coffin. This is how their story would end: Castiel being put into one.
anamnesis by cenotaphy
Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.
* Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.
Death Rattles by emmbrancsxx0
Castiel and Dean travel to an abandoned Men of Letters chapter house to catalogue the books in its library. Castiel comes to believe the house is haunted.
Everything That Matters by enigmaticblue
Cas' last words were, "Oh, God, I would give anything to change this." He didn't believe in answered prayers anymore, so he was surprised to wake up two years in the past, in a world that Dean and Sam have saved. Dean was busy trying to settle into that normal life he'd promised Sam he'd try, and he was not thrilled when Cas shows up, putting all of that at risk.
Still, Dean owed Cas, and they're both going to have to let go of the past in order to move forward.
for a healthy heart by askance (Teen and Up)
A strange black box appears in Castiel's bedroom one afternoon.
for a sinner released by dothraki_shieldmaiden
Testing his theory, he runs his fingers over the soft skin of Dean’s wrist, until his thumb is pressed firmly against Dean’s hammering pulse. Cas pulls, gently but inexorably, until Dean is forced to take a step forward. The shift in positioning pushes the barrel of the gun into his forehead.
Cold metal touches overheated skin, and Cas inhales sharply at the contrasting sensations. The gun is unforgiving, relentless, beautiful.
It’s like Dean.
gaudete/laetere by one_more_offbeat_anthem
or, joy in the time of penitence and mourning.
There's an apocalypse on, and Dean finds himself in a church, unmoored. There's not much to think about except everything.
Get Out in Times of Declared Emergency by Jayne L
PREACHER: Is it going to be alllllllllright? CONGREGATION: It's going to be alright!
--Firesign Theater
Castiel post-Lucifer.
A Glimpse Beyond by NorthernSparrow
A piece of rebar to the heart wasn't really the way Dean had planned to go out, but these things happen. It's over now; everything's over, and now he's in Heaven. It's a beautiful Heavenly day, on a beautiful Heavenly road, and there's even a Heavenly cassette tape playing a perfect Heavenly song. The last war is over; they won it all, victorious at last, and now all Dean wants to do is drive.
The song plays, and Dean drives.
At last he's at peace.
Or is he?
The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas
A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.
Hell Or High Water by SwingGirlAtHeart
Dean keeps his gaze on the shadows. “He told me he loved me.”
Sam makes a noise of acknowledgement in his throat, but says nothing, waiting for Dean to continue. Dean turns around, confused by Sam’s lack of response. Sam is watching him sympathetically, expecting more details, and there’s no trace of surprise on his face.
“You knew?”
At this, Sam does look surprised. “You didn’t?”
Dean lets out a long breath, trying to stave off the ache in his chest, and looks back up at the sky. “I guess not.”
I’m not an addict (baby that’s a lie) by bree_black
In 2014, there isn’t much Dean Winchester isn’t willing to do to gain an advantage in the fight against the forces of Hell. And Cas? Cas is just trying to hold himself together – with whatever chemical assistance he can find. But when they discover a potential new weapon - and with Lucifer approaching the camp - they’ll need to decide whether there are any lines they still can’t cross.
If One Cannot Remember, One Cannot Grieve by blueeyesandpie
Dean has the perfect house, the perfect life, and the perfect husband. He has some weird dreams and Sammy sure says some wild shit about djinn dreams when he gets drunk, but that's easy enough to ignore—right up until it isn't.
Keep Your Love Alive by dothraki_shieldmaiden and FriendofCarlotta
Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?
my heart a compass by lagaudiere
“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.
The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.
--
In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.
Nest by emmbrancsxx0
After returning from Purgatory, Dean and Castiel work a case involving a drowned woman whose killer was seemingly in two places at once. In the swamps of Florida, a mystery uncoils and threatens to split the burgeoning relationship in two.
the noise of stars by depugnare
All things must come to an end. This is what was written and so it shall be.
It happens more than once.
Over and over, Castiel must reckon with mortality. With God. With the fragility of human life. With the way Dean looks lying dead on the ground, blood spilled for some meaningless cause. The eternal fate of a Righteous Man. Over and over again Sam pleads and begs for a new start. For peace. Castiel cannot give it to him.
He has had enough.
Once a Day by followthetardis
Castiel has just enough control left over his body and mind that he steps into the Ma’lak Box on his own.
Only an Angel by expectingtofly
In 2009, months after rescuing the Righteous Man from Hell, Castiel rebels against Heaven’s plan and chooses to help Dean Winchester. He is immediately killed by the archangel Raphael for his transgressions.
But then God brings him back to life—with a catch. Castiel can return to Heaven and ask for forgiveness, or continue to help the Winchesters, alienating himself from the only home he’s ever known. To help him make his decision, God sends Castiel back in time three years ago.
Now in 2006, Castiel is faced with gaining the trust of a younger, skeptical, pre-hell Dean. Without the threat of an apocalypse or avenging archangels, Castiel accompanies the Winchesters on a case and wonders if he truly has a place with them, or if he’s only an angel too blinded by his devotion to a human.
Orison by aeli_kindara
Cas says, I love you.
And then he’s gone and Dean’s alone, gasping sobs of air on the dungeon floor, and wishing he hadn’t. Listened. Wishing he could take it all back. Wishing he could just refuse, just keep Cas, if only for another instant, if only for long enough to stop thinking, What do you mean — what do you mean, something you know you can’t have?
Revivere by aeli_kindara
Rowena is dead, Cas is gone, and Sam and Dean are learning how to live in the world they've saved.
But the wound on Sam's shoulder still won't heal, and the visions it brings start showing him Cas — in mortal danger from a mysterious Enochian magic-user.
When Dean goes to help him, Sam's left alone in the bunker with a head full of visions and a dead witch who keeps talking to him, if only when he doesn't ask her to.
Rivers Always Reach the Sea by RurouniHime
“What’s wrong with you?” It rushes out of Dean, a wheeze of air. He looks crushed, buckling right in front of Castiel, and his whole self is reaching but not touching Castiel, refusing that one thing that he so clearly wants. “You’re like you were when we first—Don’t you remember?”
Castiel thinks back, really tries. The bunker, the pounding at the door. The despair outside and also growing in his chest, that they would fail, that this man, this man who was meant to save the world, would die.
“The sacrifice seemed a small gift to give,” he murmurs.
“Small?” Dean nearly shouts. “Small? You died for me!”
“I’m a soldier. Sometimes it’s necessary.”
*
(Not everything made it out of the Empty.)
scream together songs unsung by everytuesday
Dean dies and Sam wakes up in a motel room twelve years earlier.
[it's the time travel fix-it fic we've all been shitposting about on tumblr]
slouching toward Lawrence by elementalv
Castiel contains multitudes.
That Black Dog Ache by SaltyWords (agent4hire22)
A simple case turns Dean upside down as he attempts to deal with the effects of a particularly strange love spell.
this story has a happy ending by terpsichorean
The shape of Castiel’s Mark was a mirror opposite of the one Dean had borne. Instead of blood-red, it was a deep black, like the void itself etched into his skin and echoing through his grace.
“How does it feel?” Dean asked, turning Castiel’s wrist gently to study the Mark from every angle.
“Heavy.”
Dean’s eyes met his. “And how do you feel?”
Castiel shrugged. “I don’t feel angry, if that’s what you mean.”
//
or: life before the Mal'ak box is good. Until it's not. A look at the alternate timeline from 15x09
tree on a hill in iowa by hiroshimalovers
This is a story about a tree (and a hunter, an angel, a ghost, and the wind).
The Weight of Silence by jscribbles
The weight of silence is heavy on Dean's shoulders as he learns to live a new kind of life in Heaven. In classic Winchester-style, despite being in a place that isn't supposed to have pain and suffering, Dean rebels against it by being straight-up fucking miserable.
your sweet hand in mine by vaudelin
Rowena does a double-take when she sees them enter, Cas handcuffed beside his darker twin. She looks between them, then looks to Cas, her expression caught in half-measures that seem appropriate when regarding a doppelganger drafted from the other side.
“Bind him,” Cas tells her, pushing Castiel roughly. “Thoroughly,” he adds.
Rowena, wilting but not yet drained, warily complies.
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none-but-y0u · 4 years ago
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yes i’m posting this twice. idk how to use this site correctly, and i have no shame so we move
Saw this post by @memes-saved-me​ HAD to write a fic about it because it wouldn’t leave my mind
___________________________________________________________________
Months after the fight, Billy hadn’t really made up with Steve per se. He hadn’t said those two words because in his opinion, they held no weight if there wasn’t any action behind it. But still, Hawkins was only so big, and the Party was only so small, so eventually they had to get to a point where Steve didn’t flinch at every purr of the camaro and where Billy didn’t feel like something was clawing away at the insides of him every time Steve avoided him.
So nowadays, if they ever saw each other out and about, it was more of a head nod that symbolized “I’ll leave the kids alone, if you promise you’re keeping Max safe” type of thing. And occasionally this extended to a “I’m at the quarry. You’re at the quarry. We’re not going to talk about the deep bags under your eyes or the darkening bruises on mine, but we can share this blunt and pretend we’re angsty teens, even if it’s just for a moment.”
In school, it worked similarly. Tommy was still on his weird homoerotic pulling pigtails thing where he would say comments about dethroning King Steve, but would also always seem to have his eyes on him everywhere he went.
And Billy knew all about homoerotic pulling pigtails. Had his fair share of pulling pigtails with a certain recently dethroned, brown eyed, king, and that got him nowhere except blood on his fists and a syringe in his neck. But he’d let Tommy figure that one out on his own.
Read more under the cut or on ao3 HERE
“Yo, Hargrove,” Tommy shouted across the parking lot, waving him over.
Looking up, Billy took count of who was around - a bunch of preppies he definitely didn’t have time for today - and shook his head before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. He could quietly hear Tommy mutter a “this fucker” before walking over to Billy.
“Dude, you didn’t hear me calling you?”
“What is it, Hagan?” he muttered, not even sparing him a look.
Tommy leaned back against the camaro, attempting to look cool and nonchalant, but quickly moved upon seeing Billy’s glare. He opted for crossing his arms and plastering a glare on his face. “You seen Harrington?” he asked, squinting towards the emptying school building.
“Why the fuck would I have seen him?” Billy huffed, blowing out a stream of smoke.
“I dunno. I see you guys sometimes in the halls or in the cafeteria, so I just thought that you and he were-”
“We were what?” Billy glares, cutting him off. Tommy has the good sense to take a step back.
“Nothing, man. I just thought you were friends or something.”
Billy scoffs, rolling his eyes. “So ‘cause I don’t pull Harrington’s pigtails like you do, that means we’re friends?”
“Pigtails- I don’t! I’m with Carol!” Tommy stutters out, his freckles standing out more as his face goes red.
Billy gives him a pointed look before taking another drag.
“You used to do it too. Before you got all soft for him,” Tommy mumbles after a moment.
And Billy doesn’t have time to deal with Tommy and his unrequited, unrealized feelings for his ex best friend. Took him long enough to figure it out himself, and he doesn’t feel like going down that road again. “Fuck you want, Hagan.” He says, a slight growl in his throat.
“Nothing, man. I just didn’t know if you saw him. That’s all. He wasn’t in class today, and you know how everyone is with him now that he’s...you know,” Tommy trails off.
“Ain’t that your doing?”
Tommy flushes again, rubbing the back of his head. “Mm, Yeah, I guess.” He goes silent a moment before. “Hey, me and Carol are going to the Mart after this if you wanna’ come.”
“Hard pass,” Billy chortles, throwing his cigarette to the ground. Moving past Tommy, he walks to the driver’s side.
“Yeah, course,” Tommy says. His face is downturned, and Billy can see the slight bit of hurt staining Tommy’s face. Closing his eyes, he sighs to himself. Knows he has to correct this because Tommy’s doesn’t mean any actual harm. Just wants to know if his ex-best friend is okay.
“Have to drive my sister around, that’s all,” he gets out. Tommy’s face lights up at that just as the familiar dash of red works its way through the crowd.
“Yeah, alright. Catch you tomorrow then.”
He starts to walk away, and Billy curses at himself for being weak enough to ask. “If you hear from Harrington before Monday..."
Tommy turns, grinning with a knowing look. “I’ll let you know.”
Max finally gets to the car, skateboard in hand, dirt smudged across her forehead, and a cut on her cheek.
“You’re late, shitbird. Didn’t I tell you 4:00? Not 4:20.” Billy mutters, getting into the car.
“You can take me to the arcade,” she says, ignoring him.
“What happened to your face?”
She pulls down the visor, examining her face. “Nothing.”
“Maxine.”
“Don’t call me that, William ."
“What happened to your face?” And then, when she still hasn’t said anything minutes later, he adds, softer. “I don’t want Neil to think..." And she knows what he means. Goes real quiet, picking at a scab on her arm before.
“Nothing. Just a couple of boys. But I handled them. I’m fine, really.”
He takes his eyes off the road, looking her over for any other bruises, before nodding. “There’s some bandaids and stuff in there,” he says, nodding towards the glove department.
“Billy, I’m-”
“Fine. Yeah, I know. Just clean it at least. So it doesn’t get infected.”
She gives him a look before complying. “I said I’m fine. I can handle them,” she huffs.
A small smile sneaks onto his face as he watches his sister not sister angrily clean the mark on her face. Yeah. She can definitely handle them.
___
They’re driving home after the arcade, something heavy blasting through the radio, when the light turns red, and he comes to a stop. Looking out the window, he notices Tommy’s car at the Mart. After a moment, its owner walks out from the store. Following someone. Always following someone. And then the person turns, and Billy’s heart momentarily stops before filling with anger.
Steve’s leading Tommy and Carol, but his face is all different shades of blue and purple with an accent of red dancing over his lips. He says something to Tommy, arms flailing, as he tries to walk off. Reaching out, Tommy grabs his arm, pushing him towards the hood of his car. After a moment, Steve listens, sitting down and placing his head in his hands.
And the whole scene reminds him of before, except this time, Billy’s knuckles aren’t covered in red. There’s a rage boiling in his gut. “You know who did that to him?” he manages to get out.
Max follows his eye line before nodding. “Dustin said some guy called Sean jumped him or something.”
“Sean as in Stephens?” he asks, fingers crushing the cigarette in his hand.
She turns to him, a worried look on her face. “What are you going to do?”
Billy sneaks another look at Steve, and the anger festers within him. The light turns green, and he curls his fingers around the wheel. “I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t touch Steve ever again.”
___
Steve’s signature BMW is already at the quarry, by the time Billy pulls up the next day. He leans on the hood, staring up at the sky. Billy checks himself in the mirror before making his way over to him.
“You got bruises on your hands today,” Steve says with a nod.
“You got bruises on your face,” Billy shrugs.
Steve chuckles, “Yeah, I guess.” His eyes sweep over Billy’s body before settling on his face. His tongue darts out over his lips, and Billy has a strong desire to chase after it. Wants to feel Harrington’s blood on his own lips.
He looks away. “What, man?”
“Nothing. Not used to seeing you without them.” Another lookover. “You got freckles, you know that?”
It’s only then that Billy really understands the whole King Steve thing. Completely gets why no matter how much Tommy claims to hate him, he can’t keep his eyes off of him. There’s just something about the way Steve looks at you like he’s scavenging your body for its deepest secrets because he genuinely wants to know everything about you. Like he actually cares about you.
“Yeah, well, I’m not used to seeing you with them,” he stutters out.
“I think I look kinda badass.”
Billy scoffs because of course some sick part of him finds a roughed up Steve who’s still got that loveable charm incredibly attractive, and the thought bubbles in his gut uncomfortably.
“What? You don’t like it? Don’t think I look pretty enough?” He takes a step closer, encroaching on Billy’s space with that dangerous smirk on his lips. Billy feels all sense leave him, suddenly feeling like all those girls who probably stay up all night thinking about their one moment with King Steve. And what’s happening right now. This moment right here. This is most definitely his moment.
Steve takes another step, eyes sweeping over Billy again. He goes to curl his lower lip into his mouth when-
“Ah fuck!” There’s a trail of flesh blood staining his lips from the recently opened wound.
“This is like the tenth time today. It’s never gonna’ heal at this point,” he groans. “I hate this so much.”
Shaking his head, Billy goes to his car, grabbing the first aid kit.
“Come here,” he says curling his hand around Steve’s wrist. Steve makes a small oomph sound at the sudden movement, but complies nonetheless.
Pulling out an alcohol swab, he goes to press it to Steve’s lip, but Steve stops him. “That’s gonna sting.”
“Don’t be a baby.”
“I’m not,” he huffs. “I just- ah shit !” He glares as Billy runs the swab over the cut. “Maybe warn a guy next time.”
Billy scoffs, “There won’t be a next time.”
“Yeah, we’ll see,” Steve hums. “Everyone’s gonna wanna take a jab at their old king sooner or later.”
“Nah. I won’t let that happen.”
“What? You gonna follow me around all day being my knight in shining armor?” Steve quips with a raised brow.
And Billy so wants to say yes. Wants to say he’ll be his knight in shining armor and so much more if Steve’ll let him.
“Stop talking before you bust your lip open again.”
Steve smirks as Billy works his way through each cut and bruise. “You did a pretty shit job at this,” Billy says after a moment.
“And you’re doing too good of a job at this,” Steve counters. Billy’s hands still, and his mouth drops slightly. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna say anything. Just think that you’re doing all this for me, and I never did this for you,” he says with a shrug. “Just seems like you’re doing a lot for me.”
And Billy would do anything for Steve if it meant he’d get to run his hands down the angle of his jaw like this, or if he got to count the moles on his face, or if he got to run his fingers over the curve of his lips like this.
“What’re you doing, Bill,” Steve exhales, breath fanning out over his lips.
Billy hesitates for a moment before...“I’m taking care of you.”
___
Steve’s back in school on Monday. And Tommy spends ten minutes talking about how Steve probably got his ass handed to him by whomever beat his face in. But when Sean Stephens walks past them, face looking ten times worse than Steve’s, Tommy changes his tune and spends the next twenty minutes praising Steve’s fighting skills.
Billy spends the day with his hands in his pockets, and a grin on his face.
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