#me at myself you are NOT ALLOWED to get takeout again this week we have food at home 😭

[theriverbeyond]

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

[moonlightspencie]

i know i’ll pay for it

Part 4 of ‘the sweetest con’

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: dramaaaaaaa in this chapter

<- PART THREE

“Hey, hey, hey,” I heard her sing out to the group in the bullpen. 

She was greeted with joy, especially since she was bringing food inside. I sensed the too-familiar feeling in my heart creep in, knowing that as soon as she dropped off the things everyone else had ordered, she’d be coming to give me mine. I waited patiently through the soft conversation exchanged between the others, going back to work in hopes I’d stop thinking about her. It didn’t work. 

“Hotchner,” she exclaimed, jumping into the room. 

“Agent,” I replied, keeping my best straight face. 

“Come on,” she whined with a smile, shoulders deflating. “You know you love me.”

“Mhm,” I hummed, allowing myself to let a little humor slip into my voice. “I love silence.”

“You saying you want me to stop talking?”

“Never.”

She laughed, setting down the takeout bag on my desk and taking a seat before I even had the chance to offer. 

“How’s your day so far?” she asked, digging through the bag to get her food. 

“We’re not on a plane right now, so not too bad.” 

“And you have lunch.”

“And excellent company,” I added. 

“See?” she said, pointing her sandwich in my direction. “You love me.”

“Did I ever say I didn’t?”

She hummed. “Good point.”

We started eating, sharing a little conversation and the container of fries. I watched her as she lit up, talking about the latest series she’d been watching. Even in the small things, she was so passionate. 

“The new season is starting this week, too,” she said, giving me a look as if I’d be just as hyper about it.

Based on her reaction, I almost was. 

“Yeah?”

“Yes! I’ve been waiting for so long.”

“That’s great. Let’s hope we don’t get an urgent case, then.”

“No kidding,” she nodded, her eyes wide. “How’s Jack lately?”

I swallowed. “Good. He’s handling everything really well, especially since he can’t fully understand it yet.”

“That’s good. He’s a great kid. He’s going to turn out just fine, you know?”

“I know,” I nodded, not quite knowing how she could always read my mind. “I know, I just wish he didn’t have to grow up like this. He deserved better than running between houses.”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “My parents split up when I was young, and I honestly never wished they would have ended up together. They were great together at first, but they were so much happier when they split.”

“Really?”

“Really. It was really hard at first to accept it, but when I hit my teens… I guess I could understand it all better. I ended up happier as a kid because I didn’t have to deal with constant fighting and negative feelings all the time anymore.”

I was quiet for a moment, thinking it over. She continued when I didn’t speak. 

“I’m not saying that’s exactly what will happen. I don’t know enough about your marriage to tell you what will happen,” she said, sitting back in her seat. “I do know that he’s gonna be okay. And, one day, he won’t be sad about it anymore. He knows you both love him so much, and I don’t think either of you are capable of letting him forget that.” 

“Thank you for saying all of that,” I said, voice suddenly quiet. “I’ve been struggling with it. Especially not being able to see him at home every night we’re not traveling. I just want him to be happy, and I don’t want him to think all of the fighting that’s happened with the divorce is going to be the norm.”

“I get it. It’s all going to work out, though, you know?“

“I’ll take it from you,” I replied, trying to lighten up the room. 

She smiled again. “Good. You should.”

“On a very different note, I got a new coffee table and a bookshelf yesterday.”

“Nice,” she nodded, accepting my change of topic. “What do they look like?” 

“Don’t know yet. I still have to assemble them.”

“You need help?” she asked, looking at me. “I love little projects.”

“I’m not making you build my furniture,” I chuckled, taking a drink. 

She shook her head. “Alright, it’s not a question anymore. I’m coming over and now I’m making dinner just to spite you.”

I scoffed. “You’re not going to make dinner for me.”

“When was the last time you had a home-cooked meal?”

I fell quiet, trying to remember. 

She raised a brow. “That’s what I thought. I’m coming over. That’ll get you out of the office at a reasonable time, too.”

I didn’t hold back a smile this time. “Alright. I’ve learned better than to try to fight you.”

“Damn right.”

She showed up at my door that night with grocery bags. I sighed, resigned to the fact that she would continue to try to care for me no matter how much I tried to reject it. I had to at least pretend that I didn’t want nothing more than to spend time with her. 

She prepared dinner, putting it in the oven to cook as we started on building the furniture. She fixed all of my mistakes, laughing as we sat on the floor by the couch. 

“You really can’t get a bolt in?” she asked with a smile, leaning over to look at the leg of the table. 

“It’s not going in,” I said, not able to stop myself from chuckling at her surprise. 

She took the little tool and the bolt from me, scooting close enough for our legs to be pressed together. I took the opportunity to watch her as she screwed it in with ease, the smell of her perfume almost overwhelming me as she sat in my space. 

“See?” she asked, sitting up straight. “Easy enough.”

“For you.”

She looked at me, suddenly even closer than I had realized. The oven timer started going off, but she didn’t move. 

“For anyone who knows what they’re doing,” she said with smirk. 

I rolled my eyes playfully. “I went to law school, I’m no carpenter.”

She laughed, getting up to get the food out of the oven. I sat for a moment, catching my breath, then followed along. We sat on the couch, utilizing the now-built coffee table for the first time. We were nearly finished when she started laughing to herself. 

“Do you think the bookshelf will be as big of a hassle as this was?”

I smiled again. She had me doing that a lot more often lately.

“I guess we’ll have to find out. I really don’t know—“

I was cut off by a knock on the door. She looked at me with questioning eyes, though I didn’t have an answer: I wasn’t expecting anybody. I excused myself, leaving her on the couch to open the door. 

The second I did, I regretted it. 

“Where’s my family photo album?”

I was taken aback. “What?”

“I can’t find my family photo album. Where is it?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen it in years,” I stumbled out, brows knitting together. 

She scoffed, trying to push past me into my apartment. 

“What are you doing? I didn’t take it,” I said, exasperation lacing my voice. 

She stopped cold, staring at the woman on my couch. She turned to me, a hard anger on her face. 

“You’re kidding me right now.”

I opened my mouth to respond, though I should’ve known I wouldn’t have gotten a word in. 

“She’s here? In your apartment?”

“Calm down.”

“Calm down?” she asked, voice raising. 

I huffed a sigh. “I have neighbors, Haley.”

She scoffed, turning to Y/N before I had the chance to stop her. 

“What the hell are you doing here?”

She stood from the couch, glancing at me in utter shock and confusion. 

“I’m sorry?”

Haley took another step in her direction. 

“You’re unbelievable. First, he’s gone all of the time because of you, and now—“

“She has nothing to do with this,” I attempted. 

“Now, you have the nerve to stick around? Alone in your boss’s apartment. You should be…”

“Excuse me?” Y/N said, finding her voice. 

I stepped between the two of them, facing Haley. 

“She didn’t do anything.”

“And of course, you’re still defending her. Keeping her around when you—“

“Stop.”

“No! You go and run around on me with this girl, and now you want to act like she’s a perfect little angel.”

Y/N moved to stand beside me. “Are you trying to imply he cheated on you?”

“Keep talking like you weren’t the reason,” Haley spat.

“He never cheated on you,” she said back, voice raising slightly. “Why on earth would you even think that? Especially with me?”

“I knew you were a whore the second I met you…”

“Get out,” I interrupted, moving between them again. If smoke wasn’t actually seeping out of my ears at that point, I’d be shocked. “I don’t have your album, and you’re not going to come in here and shoot off vile insults at my friends.”

“You’re a dick. You always have been.”

“Then leave.”

She scoffed again, giving me the dirtiest look she could conjure before stomping off, slamming the door behind her. I stood in silence for a moment afterwards, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart before I faced the person behind me. She rested a hand on my arm, though, calling my attention to her rapidly. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, voice significantly softer than it was a minute ago. 

I swallowed, turning to face her. 

“I’m sorry. You didn’t—you don’t deserve that.”

“I just,” she stopped, sighing as she wrapped her arms around herself. “She really thinks you cheated on her?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Damn. How…” she shook her head, then looked back at me. “How could she even think that?”

“That’s a long story.”

“Can we talk about it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I muttered, moving around her to sit on the couch again. 

“Aaron, she thinks I broke up your marriage.”

I paused, taking in the fact she used my first name. That had never happened before. I let out a slow breath, then nodded, patting the seat next to me. She sat down slowly, turning fully towards me. 

“I, uh,” I started, looking at her. Just being with her felt grounding. “She cheated on me, actually. Never admitted it, but I knew. I was in the wrong so many times in our relationship, I won’t deny that, but…”

“You didn’t deserve to be cheated on.”

I nodded. “I know. I think she was just deflecting, especially after I found out. Once she gathered that I knew about it, she started accusing me instead.”

She was quiet for a moment. “I just don’t understand one thing. Why did she think I was the one you cheated with? I mean, like, did I do something to make her think that?”

“I think she needed someone else to be mad at. You were the easiest target.”

“Why?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows. 

I didn’t stop to think before I answered. 

“You’re beautiful and very kind to me. She probably saw you and how you treated me, and I guess— She probably just thought if I’d fall for anyone, it would be you.”

She stared, letting my words sink in. I opened my mouth, ready to try to make amends for admitting something so personal. Though, of course, my phone started ringing at that moment. 

I sighed, then picked up my phone to answer. 

“Hotchner,” I stated in greeting. 

She watched me, already knowing what the call meant. 

“Be there soon, thank you,” I nodded, then watched as she got up, taking the dishes with her.

NEXT PART ->

[faofinn]

No.6 "Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart."

@whumptober-archive

Recording | Made To Watch | "It should have been me."

A follow up to something we've not posted, around the anniversary of Fao's accident (as well as Hars' and the death of Marcus) Hars falls back into drinking and using his painkillers a little too much...

Harrison hadn't long been discharged after his relapse and poor oramorph dosing. Tai had begged him to stay at his place, promised him rides to and from his place whenever, but he needed him to stay. He'd had a small withdrawal in the scheme of things, and he was slightly grateful it had been so mild. Of course, it still took it all out of him, and with the next lot of anniversaries coming up, he didn’t have anything left. 

In the end, he'd given in to Tai. It was the best option he'd been given; Steve would be at work most of the day, as would Fao, and he'd spent too many breakdowns at the Daniels to spend another. Tai hadn't run during his breakdown in hospital, and, as stupid as he knew it was, he almost felt like they'd become stronger together.  Besides, he liked Tai's company, his boyfriend managing to make him laugh even when he was at the bottom. 

Tai had had holidays to take regardless, so happily took those to stay off with Harrison. They'd chatted more when they were in hospital about everything, though he could tell that Harrison had censored most of it. So, of course, Tai had planned the week out - duvet days and favourite films, takeouts instead of cooking, just lazy days together. Harrison hadn't been allowed to see the full plan, but the fact Tai had even just taken the time off work meant the world to him. Emergency meds had been prescribed, just in case, and Tai kept them safe. They'd picked up everything they needed from Harrison’s, but Tai had also bought soft pjs and snugly socks for him too.

All of Tai’s little touches almost overwhelmed him; nobody had gone so far, done so much like this for him. They settled on the sofa together, Tai wrapped around Harrison and a daft film playing in the background. Food was ordered and eaten, and Harrison was, surprisingly to him, feeling a bit better when he finally drifted off.

Tai was so, so glad to have Harrison at his. It had been a whirlwind of emotions, hard to fully understand, but he knew that his boyfriend was safe and on the road to recovery, and that was what mattered. There were still things left unsaid, but there would be time for that. When they fell asleep in bed that night, Tai held him close, running a hand through his hair and promising him under his breath that he was always going to be there for him. He waited until he was sure Harrison was asleep before he finally let himself drift, warm and comfortable. 

Harrison had expected a night of no sleep, just tossing and turning, but with tai by his side, somehow he didn't. It was the sun that woke him, the room starting to get bright. While his first thought was Marcus, that it should have been him with him, it was Tai as he curled up again, Tai he wanted. 

Tai woke when Harrison did, humming softly. “Hey, good morning.” He greeted softly. 

He pressed closer, skin against skin, just breathing in his scent. His attempt at a greeting was half-hearted, somewhere between a hum and grunt.

“Sleep okay?” He asked. “I figured we could stay in bed for a while.”

Harrison nodded against his chest, reaching his hand out to trail his fingers across Tai's bare skin.  "I don't want to move." 

“Let’s not, then.”

"I need to go out."

“Oh?”

"I'll just go myself, though. It's fine."

“No, it’s okay. I’ll drive you. When do you need to go?”

"You don't know the way."

“I’m sure you can direct me.”

He closed his eyes with a sigh, defeated. "Okay."

“Are you wanting to go now? Or stay in bed for a bit first?”

He wasn't sure he could manage it right that moment. "Later."

“Later.” Tai agreed. “Don’t know about you, but I’m pretty comfy.”

He absently traced his fingertips over pale skin. "I'm home."

“I hope I’m always home to you.”

He tipped his face up to kiss him softly. "Me too."

Tai smiled against his lips. “You’re pretty special, you know  that? I’m lucky to have you.”

There was a sadness to his eyes. "I'm not, you know that."

“You are.”

He shook his head, kissing him gently again. "Don't be daft."

“Always daft. But I’m telling the truth.”

"Thank you."

“You want bacon for breakfast?”

"Prefer you." He muttered before his brain caught up, guilt flaring. "Yeah, bacon."

Tai laughed. “Oh, it’s like that is it?”

He hummed with a shrug. "Maybe."

“Tease.”

"I'm not the tease."

“Oh, that’s fighting talk.”

"Not looking like you." He trailed his fingers further down. "Especially topless."

He laughed again. “Well, it’s warm having you on top of me.”

"Oh, so my fault? I can leave if you're complaining."

“Never said it was a complaint.”

Harrison still pulled back from Tai, mischief in his eyes. 

“Hey, come on.”

"What?" He feigned innocence. 

“Come back.” He said with a pout. 

"Make me."

Tai sat up, leaning forward to cup Harrison’s face and kiss him.

Harrison grinned into it, his hand moving to rest on Tai's hip. It was lazy and relaxed, just what Harrison needed to take his mind off things. 

Tai melted into Harrison’s touch. He knew full well that Harrison probably wasn’t in the right headspace for this, but it was nice to show him he cared, that he still wanted him, after everything. 

He pulled back with a sigh, brushing a strand of hair from Tai's face. "I do love you, you know?"

“Of course I know.” Tai said softly. 

"I didn't do it because I didn't love you." Harrison couldn't meet his eyes. "I know I've said it before. I know it doesn’t make it better. But, it's true."

Tai sighed, his thumb stroking Harrison's cheek. "I know."

He leaned into his touch, letting his eyes close for a moment. With a shaky sigh, he kissed Tai's hand. "I wouldn't hate it if you drove me. But…but it's for Marcus, it's the anniversary of his…his death. I always go."

Tai could tell Harrison was close to tears, his heart breaking at the shake of his boyfriend’s voice. He swallowed thickly, though felt out of his depth. "I'd be honoured to take you. Do you take flowers?"

Harrison sat up, drawing his knee to his chest. "Sometimes. Sometimes I take some jammy dodgers, he loved them. And then the letters I've written him."

“We’ll go via the shops, then. Grab some stuff.” Tai decided. 

He managed a smile, falling a little more in love with him. "Thank you."

“And we can get some stuff for us, too.”

"Yeah."

“Whatever you fancy.” Tai said, kissing his forehead. 

They didn't stay in bed too much longer, swinging by the shops before heading to the cemetery. It was a little bit of a drive, Harrison was quiet on the way, and Tai didn't push it. He couldn't imagine what he was going through, and he didn't begin to pretend. He rested his hand on his thigh as he drove, hoping it would be of some comfort to his boyfriend. In response, Harrison rested his hand on Tai's,  saying nothing but appreciating it all the same.

When they arrived, Tai found a parking space, and then looked over at his boyfriend. “Do you want me to wait here? Or come with? I don’t mind.”

"I, uh, I don't know." He'd never had anyone like Tai with him; Steve had brought him when he was still recovering, but then he'd always been alone.

“Why don’t I come, and then if you want to be alone you can just say and I’ll go back to the car.”

"Thank you."

He shrugged. “No need to thank me.”

"There is."

“Just doing the right thing.” Tai said, getting out of the car. He offered Harrison a hand once he was out, making sure they had the bag of stuff, and then he let his boyfriend lead the way. 

Harrison didn't say anything as they walked, gripping Tai's hand. He appreciated the support, more than he'd expected, and it choked him up more than he'd thought it would. 

Tai didn’t say anything either, not sure exactly what to say. He let Harrison lead the way, and as they arrived at the grave, and he hesitated. Did Harrison want him to come closer? Would he rather have a little bit of space?

"Can I have the bag?"

“Yeah, of course.” Tai said, offering it to him. 

"Thanks." He took it awkwardly, taking a moment. "Could, uh, could I have a minute?"

“‘Course.” Tai said, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

"Thanks." He repeated, padding over to the grave. 

He struggled to his knees and then sat, brushing a small piece of moss from the headstone. He pulled the flowers out, settling them in the small cup, making sure they were neat and tidy.

"Hey, Marcus." His voice cracked. "Tai drove me here today, you’d like him. Fao likes him, and Steve too. He bought the flowers for you, had the shop assistant go and find some biscuits too, you should have seen him. He was adamant we weren't leaving until I had them for you.

"I fucked up the other week, you'd have been so mad at me for it, told me to not be so daft. I didn't mean to start drinking again, but it was just too much and it was the easier way out." He took a shaky breath, tears falling. "I really fucking wish you were here. I really miss you. I don't know how I'm supposed to just keep living without you. You'd have done so much more than I have, I just fuck everything up. You should still be here. If I'd been a bit slower, you'd still have been here. It should have been me."

He could barely catch his breath between the sobs, and the guilt about their accident was only made worse by his want to be held by Tai, not Marcus. He turned to his boyfriend, stretching an arm out for him. 

Tai had walked a little way away, giving Hars the space he needed. He stayed close enough just to hear his voice, but not what he’d said, and he’d been looking at his feet in the grass when he heard Harrison’s sobs. Looking up, he frowned, noticing how he reached out for him. He was immediately on his knees by his side, wrapping his arms around him. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” 

He fell into Tai's arms, gripping tightly onto his hoodie. He didn't say anything, didn't bother to try, just let himself be held, breathing in Tai's scent. 

“You’re okay, it’s okay. Just breathe, I’ve got you.” Tai rubbed over his back soothingly, his heart breaking for him. 

"It should have been me."

“Hey, no.”

His shoulders shook with each sob. "It should have."

“No, no. He wouldn’t think that.”

"But I do."

Tai moved to kiss his forehead. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad I get to love you.” 

[darknightsandfairylights]

I don't know why shouting into the void of the internet helps, but sometimes it's an invaluable tool on this journey. So today, I shout.

TRIGGER WARNING: Talk of unhealthy dieting, body dysmorphia and body image issues

I'm in a weird spot, mentally, with health and fitness. I grew up very out of place. I come from stocky people, but was adopted into a family of fast metabolism. I never quite fit in. Combined with other issues (poor socialization, small private school, general awkwardness), I never had many friends or social interaction in general, which I chalked up to not being pretty or popular enough. In high school, I joined Weight Watchers, starved myself, but didn't work out at all, and so I ended up much thinner but VERY unhealthy. And with basically no muscle mass. I stayed roughly in that (bad) weight range for about 3 years - until college. I had semi-helicopter parents, so I never really learned how to regulate my own eating, and I also went through a horribly abusive relationship that triggered depression and massive anxiety my last year of high school and the summer into freshman college. So, left to my own devices, I gained the freshman 15. Then 20. Then 30. Then second semester, I met someone with disposable income, and suddenly I was eating Domino's multiple times a week, and other takeout besides. 30 extra pounds grew into 50, then 80 by the end of college, then a new trauma / depression spiral the first 2 years out of college bumped the number up to 120 extra pounds. Almost as much as I weighed to start. And the whole time was horrible yo-yo dieting, juice fasts, several stints in Weight Watchers, a ton of fad diet books, and emotionally bullying myself, horribly.

So now we come to the latest "era" of my life. The era of childhood healing, true self care, and hard fucking truths. It took a lot of work, and I doubt I'll ever be completely "done", but I've done quite a lot to lessen the voices telling me fat = bad. I no longer consider fat to be a moral failing. It's not something to be celebrated either - it just is. It's morally neutral. It is an emotionless fact about me, much like the color of my hair. Brunette isn't bad, blonde isn't shameful, it's just... hair.

With that said, being morally neutral like hair, I believe it's objectively OK to want to make a change. If I want to dye my hair a slightly darker shade, no one will really care. If I want to go red, or purple, or oil slick hair, no one's gonna care. (I mean. With some bright colors / multicolor shenanigans, there are some angry people that might take personal offense, but these aren't people whose opinions I value.) Wanting to change my weight and physical health should be so morally neutral. The answer to both is "do what makes you feel good." Purple hair makes you happy? Dye it. Growing muscle makes you happy? Hit the gym.

Because of my history though, I freak out about eating anything I see as a "health food" (we aren't even talking dieting, because I never want to see a fad diet again. I just mean like... eating a side salad with dinner) because I don't trust myself. What if a salad turns into a slippery slope and suddenly I'm an unhealthy skinny weight again? What if I go off the deep end and spend way too much time in the gym and drive away everyone I love? What then?

I know these fears are unfounded. There's a balancing act, finding that sweet spot. If I stay with morally neutral, and keep food morally neutral, so cake and pie hold the same moral value as fruits and veggies, I may find (if I allow myself) that I actually like eating a mostly veggie / fruit / bean diet ("diet" as in "things you eat" in this sentence - not as in "strict eating plan"), and I may find that I love the gym, and my metabolism is great, and weight just falls off. Or I may find I still want to eat a lot of pasta and potatoes and desserts, but I can add on enough fruits and veggies, and go to the gym enough, that I slowly get to a healthier equilibrium. But I have to stop being so afraid of the journey to even let myself start.

I don't know whether this helps. You, or me. I'm still overwhelmed. And tired. I Aldo hate meal prep. If I had someone making me fresh acai bowls and salads and bean burgers, this would be easy. But alas.

[a-hearts-a-heavy-burden]

Hey everyone, I know it's a difficult time for so many. Thoughts I'd share my situation anyway in the hopes that someone out there can help, even a little. I am currently living with family and it's a very toxic environment. I am constantly on edge, walking on egg shells around them. Recently there was a huge blow up when it was demanded I begin paying more for rent than I was making. I am currently on government assistance and, due to my mental health and ADHD I'm finding it increasingly difficult to work full time. So I am seeking part time work. However, without an active phone that is nearly impossible to find. I am now forced out of the apartment when everyone leaves in the morning. I am not allowed to be home, I've been cut off from internet so I don't even have my support group to lean on whilst at home. I am out from 8 am until 10:30 pm most days and have no money to feed myself. I am made to feel like a burden, told I am not moving out quick enough and not finding a job quick enough. Yet the housing market here is in crisis, there is next to no affordable apartments and I am unable to save to move if I am giving all of my money to family for rent and then spending whatever I have left on takeout. (Because again I'm not allowed in the apartment to cook. during the day.) I have meds I need to pay for and I need food. That right now is all I am asking for help with.

I have no options and no money and no way of moving out of the apartment anytime soon but I NEED to because this isn't healthy for my poor mental state. I can't handle this constant state of emotional meltdown I've been in for weeks now….and I just don't know what to do because my FRIENDS are the only good thing in my life right now but when I go home I'm at my worst and now I don't even have them to talk to because I'm completely cut off from internet.

And I don't even have any friends here I can turn to for help. I am putting a link to my paypal below. (It is, unfortunately, my dead name and I cannot change it. So please, do not use this name to refer to me. If we are talking in dm's or we are friends online please use 'Addie' instead. That's all I ask.) Thank you, in advance, to anyone who may be able to help. Even a couple dollars helps get some food in my stomach. I appreciate any amount. Thank you again.

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

Request: Stephen Strange x fem!Reader (married) with Meaningful Gestures Prompt #6: Putting your hand on your lover's chest as they doze peacefully into the couch arm, focusing on the subtle beat of their heart on your hand.

A Sorcerer's Work Is Never Done

characters: Stephen Strange x Female Reader (established relationship), Wong

rating: general audience, fluff, romance, pining, frustration, Stephen being head over heels in love

word count: 2.1k

Stephen leaned his head onto the sofa back and propped his feet up on the coffee table, allowing the tension of the past two weeks to drain away at last. With any luck, the two of you would be spending an entire, uneventful evening together—and frankly, you both had more than earned it. Between the two of you, you’d been battling multiple incursions by malevolent forces from other realities, around the clock. One of you returning to the Sanctum, weary and battle worn, while the other was inevitably headed back on duty. Each of you giving your all to shore up the worldwide protective spells and wards that the Mystic Fraternity of Kamar-Taj had maintained for over a two thousand years. That vital mission had become more personally complicated due to your recent marriage, which necessitated that you work on separate teams.

But finally, there came a break in the seeming endless engagements. Earth’s defenders had finally turned the tide—so that this night, for the first it what felt like ages, you were both home free to indulge in one another’s company.

When Stephen had realized fortune’s good favor had finally turned your way, he was quick to suggest a plan for the evening. You had eagerly agreed—with the proviso that you needed a long, hot shower first.

“Well now--I could join you and scrub your back, you know,” he had suggested, arching his brows suggestively, hungry to have you to himself, “And, uh, any other parts you can’t quite reach yourself…”

“Oh, I know you can, darling,” you had smirked, “But as tempting as that sounds, I just want to turn the shower head onto the strongest massage setting, and let it wash over me for as long as the hot water holds out.”

Knowing that a certain look might be enough to persuade you otherwise, Stephen had titled his head as though he was a young boy admonished, then raised his eyes in a sidelong look that seemed to be a plea for a little mercy. You had shaken your head and stepped into him, sliding your arms around his neck. “How about this? Give me a half hour to make myself presentable…”

“You’re always presentable, sweetheart,” he’d husked, landing his hands on your waist to pull you flush against him, “And I’ve been missing you so goddamn much…”

“I’ve missed you too,” you had sighed, the softness of your upturned face as irresistible to him as on the day he had realized that he’d fallen in love with you. “But we have the whole night to ourselves, and I’d like to get…reacquainted…” Your eyes had reflected the invitation inherent in that single word, and Stephen had drawn a long, slow breath in an attempt at true patience as you continued, “…in all of our favorite ways. Once I feel like a woman again, and not just another battle wearied sorceress.”

Stephen had given a low thrum in his throat, answering with lyrics from one of the 20thcentury’s most popular bards. “Baby, you’re always a woman to me…”

“Hmmmm…nice try, Stephen,” you laughed insouciantly—one of his most favorite sounds in the world, not only because it was ever just for his ears alone, but because of the promise it always held. Your widened eyes dropped to his lips as you slid your hands to rest on either side of his collar, “I’ll make it twenty minutes, and if you portal over to Giannini’s for a takeout order of salted caramel cheesecake for two and open up a bottle of that white zin in the fridge to let it breathe, I’m sure the time will fly right by.” You punctuated your suggestion with a warm, lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth; a kiss infused with your pledge that this brief delay would be well worth his patience. As badly as Stephen had wanted to have you right that moment…as immediate the urge in his blood to do so, had become…he groaned in concession and allowed you to slip away—weakened in the best sort of ways by the extra sway you put into your hips as you glided away.

Your timetable had been spot on, of course. He may wield the Time Stone with astonishing, instinctive ease, but you had an uncanny knack for time management, and he had learned early on to defer to you in such matters. And thus, he was waiting on the plush, cozy sofa of the sitting room, part of the expanded suite of rooms that by tradition belonged to the Sanctum Master. The rooms that were now softened by your feminine touches and filled with the light and happiness which your love inspired.

Stephen had changed into his comfiest pajama bottoms and his softest, most well-worn tee. Two generously sized slices of cheesecake sat in individual boxes on the coffee table where he was resting his feet, and the wine waited on the end table along with a couple of gleaming, crystal wine stems. The only thing missing was you.

Ah, but when you finally joined him, you more than took his breath away. Stephen stood up when you swept into the room, momentarily speechless at the perfectly lovely vision you made, and then giving a low wolf whistle of appreciation. You staged a little twirl, showing off the delicate peignoir set of pale blue, gossamer chiffon and lace, which you had worn only once before--upon your wedding night. You looked at him with rounded doe’s eyes and teased him softly, “Does that mean you’ve decided I’m worth the wait after all?”

Stephen tapped several times above his heart, his eyes memorizing every inch of you as he answered, “There’s never been a question about that, Y/N. But it’s so good to be reminded this way.”

“Especially after the past couple of weeks,” you agreed. “It’s felt like we were just roommates, only passing by one another like ships in the night.”

As you came to join him, Stephen filled the wine goblets and then handed one to you. “Here’s to us finally finding time together,” he toasted, clinking his glass to yours, “And I don’t want to hear a single word of shop talk until at least after brunch tomorrow.”

You took a long sip of the soft rosy liquid, savoring it a few moments before swallowing. “That sounds heavenly, Stephen—and absolutely what the doctor ordered.”

Cheesecake polished off—you had only managed to eat two thirds of your piece, but Stephen had been happy to finish your slice—and only the dregs of the bottle of wine remained. Bell, Book, and Candle—your choice for the evening (Stephen’s was Groundhog Day, though chances were slim you’d be watching it this evening)--was playing on the television, but neither of you were paying it any heed. Instead, the two of you were engaged in some good old-fashioned necking, going slow and steady, blissfully enjoying the build up to the heat and passion that would inevitably find their resolution in every room of the master suite. The only sounds that mattered were murmured endearments, sustained, pleased sighs, and the growing moans that foreshadowed the satisfaction of the intimacies yet to come.

That is until an irritating and insistent rapping came upon the door. Stephen was doing his best to ignore it, but when Wong called his name several times, there was an urgency to it that duty would not allow him to disregard. “Oh, Christ,” he grumbled with his lips just a fraction from yours, already ruing your broken kiss, “This better be something earth shaking, or I just might have to cast Wong into a pocket dimension for the rest of the night…”

You merely hummed your disappointment, slowly withdrawing your fingers from his hair and then along his jawline, before leaning back against the couch.

“I’m so sorry, honey…” he offered.

You simply sighed. “I know…I know, my darling…and I know it can’t be helped…” You gave a languorous stretch and a brief yawn, before extending your hand Stephen’s way. “Pass me the remote, will you? And tell Wong that this better be the last interruption tonight or I’ll be the one casting him to a pocket dimension.”

Stephen bent and left several warm kisses on your palm before tucking the remote in your hand. “I swear I won’t be long, Y/N—even with the fate of the planet hanging in the balance.”

You nodded, but the look on your face was one of regretful acceptance as you watched Stephen head to the door.

It had only been a relatively minor emergency, although Stephen was forced to admit it had required a Sanctum Master’s attention—for in the void still left unfilled in the wake of The Ancient One’s passing, those three Masters, along with senior members of the Masters' Council of Kamar-Taj, were the leading contenders to take up the mantle of Sorcerer Supreme. With just a cursory apology as his preface, Wong filled him in on the pertinent information and the possible answers that the other Masters had come up with. Stephen was shaking his head well before Wong had completed catching him up; their propositions seemed to make sense, but his gut told him that to proceed in any of those directions was to court disaster.

Once armed with the full range of facts, he began brainstorming, quickly arriving at a solution that Wong and the other Masters had missed. That was his gift—being able to think outside the box, trusting his instincts, confidently asserting his will in the face of doubt. Those qualities had been a source of pride when he was the top neurosurgeon in the country, reinforcing his image of arrogance and hubris. Now they were a finely honed tool that he was happy to use for the sake of those in need—although he still had the tendency to believe he was never wrong, until presented evidence to the contrary. In fact, you were his most vocal, discriminating sounding board, as willing to knock him down a peg or two as necessary, as to heap him with praise when his brilliance saved the day. Another reason that he couldn’t help but need you as he’d never needed anyone in his life.

With his solution deemed acceptable, Stephen bid Wong a pointed and very stern goodnight, making it clear in so many words that he was off duty until at least until tomorrow afternoon. Smirking as the older man departed, in response to Wong’s glib promise that it would take an asteroid on a crash course with Earth before he disturbed him again.

Freed of any additional responsibility at last—and hopefully for the duration--Stephen fairly sprinted up the two flights of stairs back to his rooms. Shutting the door behind him, he noted that the only light in the room came from the television, it’s glow softly cast upon your reclining form. Briefly, he considered lighting some candles to make the setting more romantic—but could brook no further delay getting back to the delicious course you had both been set upon before Wong’s ill-timed interruption.

“And that will be the last intrusion from the outside world tonight, sweetheart,” he assured you as he neared the couch. “I threatened to resign as Sanctum Master if he bothered us again, with any problem short of planetary annihilation…” Stephen trailed off into a frustrated sigh as he realized that you had fallen asleep. “Damn…dammit it all…” he muttered under his breath, dropping to one knee beside you, his exasperation dissolving at the pretty sight of you dozing peacefully. Heart-struck by your soft, untroubled beauty and by the swell of selfless love that filled his chest. Suddenly, he couldn’t bear even the thought of disturbing you.

Instead, Stephen stretched his hand your way—pausing when you nestled your cheek against the back of your hand that served as a pillow upon the arm of the couch. Enchanted—as you so often left him—by the little coo you gave, which made him wonder if even in your sleep, you felt that he was near. And thanking whatever benevolent power in this reality had set you in his path as helpmate and lover, teacher and friend, and as the perfect cure for the unspoken loneliness that had assailed him throughout adulthood.

Gingerly, Stephen laid one hand on your chest—focusing on the subtle beat of your heart beneath his palm, as his breathing settled into the slower rhythm of yours and his heart fell into your same beat. Enamored by your cherished warmth and vitality, while attuning his imperfect soul with your own. Beyond his pining for a physical union of the flesh, he understood with sudden clarity that this is what he’d really been missing—your presence, along with the certainty that whatever the future held, he was loved without conditions. And that wherever he had to travel in solitary service to humanity, he would never truly be alone.

Silently, he cast a charm enough to keep from disrupting your much-needed sleep, so that he could sweep you up and carry you to bed. For now—and until you woke refreshed--the comfort of holding you through the night was the only thing he needed to enjoy the peace of sleep himself.

My Doctor Strange Masterlist

(needs updating as I haven't added several one-shots/prompts that I've posted here recently)

[blu-joons]

He Comes Home From Tour Early ~ Kwon Soonyoung

The emptiness of the apartment was something you’d become quite accustomed to as you arrived home from your shift. There were several items of Soonyoung’s still scattered around the place that he’d left behind, but their owner was yet to come home to pick them up.

Tours were always the hardest part of supporting Soonyoung’s career, the lonely nights and lack of conversation always took a toll on you. Not being able to contact him whenever you wanted, and sometimes even not knowing where in the world he was could be a struggle.

As ever, you went straight upstairs as soon as you got home, keen to change out of your work clothes as soon as possible and into something a little more comfortable. As you walked in, the bedroom was still in a complete mess having lacked the energy to tidy it up when you woke up earlier that morning.

With no one to impress, you’d ended up leaving the whole apartment in quite a state, last-minute dashes around the house when you knew Soonyoung was coming home was something you’d got into quite the habit of doing. You could always hear Soonyoung’s voice in the back of your head telling you tidy as you did, but as you always did when he was at home, you ignored him.

Walking through the room you went straight in the direction of your wardrobe, opening up the top drawer in search of a pyjama combination that would see you through the night. With little plans for the evening except for a date with a takeout and a movie, you didn’t care too much about what items you pulled out for yourself.

“Don’t wear those ones, they’re not my favourites,” you suddenly heard a voice call out as you did so.

Your head shook, shrugging it off as the voice of Soonyoung in your head once again, but as they repeated what they said again, it seemed so much clearer than usual. Your eyes looked around the room, expecting to see nothing but your mind playing tricks on you.

However, as you looked in the direction of the bedroom door, peering round behind it was a familiar smiling face. Straight away, your pyjamas fell to the floor as you raced around the bed, leaping straight into Sooyoung’s arms as he came out of his hiding place.

“What the hell are you playing at?” You chuckled, shaking your head at him, “what are you doing here?”

“Tour’s finished,” he exclaimed with a smug smile on his face, “so I thought I’d just pop in and see what you were up to seeing as I’ve managed to get back a couple of weeks early.”

Your head shook in disbelief as your hands cupped either side of his face, studying his tired expression closely as he held tightly onto you. “I thought that you said you had schedules that you needed to complete over there before you could come home at the end of the shows. Did you ever have schedules that you were supposed to finish?”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, carrying you across so that he could sit down on the edge of the bed, keeping you in his lap. “I wanted to surprise you, I had to think of something to say.”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you whispered, “the place is a mess because I wasn’t expecting you to be home so early, plus, I’ve already picked out the movie that I want to watch tonight.”

A soft laugh came from Soonyoung as he laid back, allowing your frame to collapse down on top of him. “You know, we could always watch the movie together, tucked up in bed, it’s been a while since we got to spend any time together.”

“That sounds perfect,” you agreed, stretching up to be able to press a kiss against his cheek, “it’s never the same spending my evenings in this massive bed all by myself, it always gets too cold in the mornings as well.”

Soonyoung hummed back across at you, “it’s a good job you don’t have to worry about that anymore then.”

“Three weeks earlier than I imagined,” you laughed, “how did you even get in? How long have you been waiting for me to get home?”

“Not too long, I spent most of the time trying to find a good hiding place. I was going to jump out and scare you, but then I got too nervous,” he admitted with a chuckle.

Your eyes looked back to him, prepared to tease, “I would have kicked you straight back out if you’d have jumped out on me, just so you know.”

“Well, that’s not the welcome home I had in mind.”

It was the fear of leaving you terrified that stopped Soonyoung from leaping out behind the door when he heard you come home. He knew that surprises were usually things that you hated, but if there was one surprise that he knew would leave you with a smile on your face, it was the sight of him coming back to you early.

“All I want to do right now is lay here with you and just enjoy being back home,” Soonyoung whispered against the top of your head, “I don’t want to let you go right now.”

Your head nodded in agreement with him as the grip that Soonyoung had around you tightened. His lips trailed over the top of your head several times, ignoring the mess that had been created in your locks as a result of yet another busy day.

“I wouldn’t have any complaints if we chose to do that,” you joked against Soonyoung’s chest, “I think it’s the least I deserve after you tricked me into thinking you were still on tour.”

His head shook as you pouted up at him, “I’m not going to apologise for surprising you, you should have seen the look on your face when you spotted me.”

“I just thought I was imagining things; I didn’t think you were real.”

With that, Soonyoung scattered several kisses all over your face and your body, making it abundantly clear to you that he was most definitely real in front of you as you spoke. “I’m here,” he whispered in between several of his kisses, “and I definitely don’t plan on taking myself away anywhere for some time.”

Your smile instantly widened, “you’re not going to surprise me again by this being a one-night trip before you have to go back off somewhere else, are you?”

Soonyoung’s head shook, admiring how your mind worked as he promised that he had no other plans, and nowhere else to be, other than at home with you. It was the only place he’d thought about for plenty of weeks, and the only place that he wanted to be too.

Whilst he loved his job and travelling the world, nothing ever compared to being able to come home to you. Reunions were always special but being able to surprise you and come home earlier than you imagined how made this one even more special than usual.

The smile on your face was worth it, to see how content you were being back in his hold was all that Soonyoung ever worked for.

“I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow morning with you beside me,” Soonyoung gently whispered, “and who knows, maybe for once this bed might get made too.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from passing comment,” you laughed.

“One day you’ll stop leaving this place in a mess.”

---

Masterlist

[blackbat05]

Day by Day

Shangqi x Reader 

A/N: My love for this man has hit an all time high so let me capitalize on it while I still can! If you read everything, I sincerely thank you for doing so!!! And holy cow 2 fics in 2 days have I gone back into my prime days? 

Genre: PG-13

Notes: As the title mentioned, I’ll probably set it some time after endgame. You could see it as a prequel to my first post! Reader is a social worker and she’s just dealing with all the mess that the snap bought back. The reader’s name as Jen Lee. I also apologize in advance for the potentially long fic. 

***

‘Excuse me, I’m looking for my child? Her name’s Wang Yiman and she’s seven.’ Another frazzled-looking parent fought her way to the front of the receptionist, approaching the helpless intern who looked like she was going to be on the verge of tears if another request came in. 

‘I got this,’ a hand calmly reassured the young intern as she beckoned the relief parent. ‘Mrs Wang? My name is Jen Lee and I’m the social worker here.’ I offered my hand for the anxious mother. ‘Oh thank god! Is Yiman ok? She must have been so scared!’ I slowed to a stop outside the room at the end of the corridor, gently sitting her down. 

‘Yiman has been a very brave girl Mrs Wang, but I will not lie to you. The sudden disappearance of their parents has traumatized a lot of kids. We’ve managed to explain to them what was going on but they will need a lot of support.’ I gave a glance over Mrs Wang’s shoulder, nodding to my colleague, Tammy who was holding the hand of a little girl in pigtails and a floral dress. 

妈妈! mā ma (mommy!)

The young girl ran into her mother’s open arms, allowing the floodgates to open from both ends. I turn to Tammy as we shared a silent agreement to leave the area. ‘That’s the last one for the day,’ Tammy unceremoniously plops herself onto the chair, letting out a groan. ‘Thanks for your hard work Jen.’ 

‘Right back at you.’ I entered the last bit of paperwork before uploading Yiman’s case file onto the portal. Yiman’s reunion with her parents meant the Children and Youth Centre were halfway in getting every displaced child back to their parents. Looking at the dingy television that was hung on the walls at the waiting room, despite not being able to hear anything, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on. S.W.O.R.D was apparently in a stand-off against Wanda Maximoff? Reported rumors that Sam Wilson didn’t want anything to do with the shield? It’s been a crazy few weeks but that was utter- 

‘Bullshit! If anything it’s the government. They must have psyched him into giving up the shield.’ My chair swiveled to face Tammy who returned a nonchalant shrug. ‘What? You know I’m right. Doesn’t matter if half the world’s gone or our universe gets split into two - they’re the true evil here. I’m still struggling to find a place after I found a couple making out in my apartment! And you know what the global repatriation council told me? We’re only dealing with urgent cases right now. Well I say f-’

The incessant ringing of the bell interrupted our conversation, replacing Tammy’s tirade into a cheeky grin. ‘Look who’s here!’ 

Shangqi stands behind the counter, dressed in his usual red varsity jacket and jeans, holding bags of what I could only make out as takeout from the Chinese restaurant that was run by a friendly Singaporean couple. ‘Did I interrupt something?’ He scratches his head nervously. ‘Nope, in fact you just saved me from Tammy’s monologue, any further and she’ll explicitly tell me what she saw in her apartment when she got dusted back that day,’ I shivered in mock fear. ‘Still haunts me up till today.’ Tammy meets us by the door, bag in her hand. 

‘I thought you were staying? We got fried dumplings and 泡饭  pào fàn (poached rice).’ 

‘Last minute duty - A parent called, gotta run! Enjoy your dinner date.’ She waggles her eyebrows suggestively, much to our embarrassment. ‘What? It’s not...’ Shangqi stutters, trying to form intelligible sentences. ‘Get out before I throw a fried dumpling at your face Tammy!’ She winks at me, before darting out of the door. Once my nosy colleague was out, I turn towards a red-faced Shangqi. ‘I’m so sorry... just don’t mind her.’ 

‘Huh?’ The man was knocked out of his stupor. ‘Oh yeah... sure,’ in an attempt to forget everything that had just happened, he opened the packets of fried dumplings. ‘Ready for war?’ 

‘I was born ready.’ 

Thirty-five minutes later, all that was left were the remnants of fried dumplings and three empty containers. 

‘This should be illegal,’ I patted my stomach in satisfaction to his amusement. ‘Laugh at yourself! You lost track of how many dumplings you had and ended up taking my share!’ 

Raising his hands in defeat, Shangqi starts to clear the table up. ‘So how’s the center? Everything alright?’ I nodded numbly. 

The past five years had been a blur. Hazy, even. All I remembered was a kid running into the office telling me that half of the staff disappeared during a school holiday program that we were running with a dozen other kids. Parents who survived the snap rushed to our center, demanding to see their children. We couldn’t give them any answer as we too, were equally perplexed. Maybe the only thing that made sense was Shangqi and Katy bursting into the center to help us with the chaos. 

Coming back from what could be the 1000th phone call, I got a glimpse in the children’s playroom where the five years old kids were at, treating myself to an amusing sight. They all had red cloths draped around their neck, each holding a stick that was from the abandoned prop box. Katy wasn’t spared to as she was wearing her own red cloth that seemed a few sizes to small for her. Not that she didn’t seem to mind. 

‘Alright my warriors! Chargeeeeee!!!!!!’ 

In unison, little pairs of feet pattered across the room towards their ‘enemy’, a cardboard cutout of a monstrous creature who was really just Shangqi in disguise. 

‘RAWR! I’ll eat anyone who stands in my way!’ He stands up, mimicking a dinosaur that was about to trample an entire city. I decided that the paperwork could wait, standing near the door to watch an Oscar-worthy performance. With great effort and bravery from the kids, they finally managed to take down 5 foot 10 worth of muscle. 

‘Again! Again!’ 

I chuckled upon seeing Shangqi on the floor, about to drift off into wonderland. It was time for me to step in. ‘Alright kids that’s enough for today! Dinner’s here.’  As the kids dispersed with the help of Katy, it was just the two of us left to clear up the mess. ‘Thank you so much, both of you. I honestly can’t think of what would happen if you guys didn’t come to help.’ 

Perhaps my body language was screaming ‘I’m dead tired, please just knock me out’ as Shangqi takes a cloth from me, folding it back into the box. ‘It’s what we would have done, this place, it means a lot to us - to me.’ 

A small knock on the door diverts our attention away from the trash. Little Yiman stands at the door, as she stares at the both of us with big round eyes. 

‘Yiman, it’s late, what are you doing here?’ I squat down to her eye level. The little girl beams, ‘ 妈妈 said that I could give this to you!’ She passes me a juice box together with a handmade card with colorful scribbles. Maybe I was carrying too much on my shoulders, as I suddenly felt a boulder lifted off me. ‘Thank you,’ I smile at her sweetly, ‘I love apple juice.’ Happy with the response, she runs to Shangqi. ‘Shangqi 哥哥 gē ge (brother)!’ 

He breaks out into a smile, opening his arms wide. Yiman nuzzles her head into his shoulder before breaking out into uncontrollable giggles from his sudden attack of tickles. ‘Are you hear to help Miss Jen?’ I took the trash from his hands, giving him some time with the girl. 

‘Yes I am. Miss Jen needs some help so I’m here today!’ 

‘Are you her boyfriend?’ 

Shangqi freezes on the spot. He had undergone what could be the toughest training by his father, fought the greatest assassins in the world and here he was - stumped by a question from a seven year old. ‘Well... I’m her close friend since when we were very young,’ Yiman looks at him expectantly. ‘She helped me when I was in trouble so I had to be a good friend when she was in trouble too.’ 

‘Like how Ningning helped me when I injured my knee?’ 

‘Yeah... something like that.’ He breathes a sigh of relief, thankful to escape his first crisis. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he was telling himself the truth. 

‘Yiman! Your mother’s here!’ The little girl gives him one last hug before running to the waiting room. Shangqi takes a moment to recollect himself. ‘Here I am thinking that you finally managed to have some stamina while interacting with young children, maybe I was wrong.’ I teased as I sat beside him. 

‘Har har, hilarious.’ He tosses me a straw for our peach teas, as we were greeted by the amazing night view of San Francisco. ‘Enough about me, you good though?’ Looks like he didn’t forget the conversation that was cut off earlier. My mind goes back to a few minutes earlier, eavesdropping on the conversation.

‘I had to be a good friend when she was in trouble too.’

Life has been so unpredictable, I don’t even want to think too far into the future. With appearances from more superpowered beings, I don’t know what’s real anymore.

‘Yeah. To be honest, it’s been so crazy and overwhelming but I’ll get through it. I have you don’t I?’ Giving him a wink, I slowly sipped on the sweetness of the tea, savoring the pearls. He pauses for a moment, nodding thoughtfully. 

Life isn’t the same as it was before. But maybe, just maybe... if I had Shangqi, I’ll take each day on one at a time. Day by day. 

[END]

A/N: Hoho! I literally spent the whole afternoon writing because I just had to get this idea out and also because work was pretty slow today. I have no idea what is up with my first two fics hinting at unrequited love? I guess I got inspired by Shangqi’s and Katy’s platonic relationship because I thought it was so well written but I also love Shangqi so I guess is a compromise kinda thing. Again, do like and comment if you wish! Really thankful that y’all have been so kind to me so far! 

Perhaps I’ll try my hand at shorter ones like headcannons before this girl exhausts herself out and I don’t want to do that because I believe I have more to show! 

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Play The Part (K.SJ)

Warnings : swearing, miscarriage, a publicity stunt relationship, fainting

Word Count : 4468

Synopsis : she thought acting alongside her favourite actor would be wonderful, until she realizes he hates her. but as things fall apart around her, kim seokjin is the one to pick up all the pieces, falling in love in the process. 

His hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me from walking any further away. I turned and looked up at him with my tear-filled eyes, pleading for him to just let me go. “I can’t let you go.” His own eyes filled with tears at his words.

“You have to.” Silence settled around us. We stood there, staring at each other. I didn’t want to leave, but I had to.

“Why?” There it was. The dreaded question that was on his mind.

“Because I’m protecting my heart. I’m breaking your heart before you can break mine.” I admitted, fruitlessly wiping at the tears streaming down my face.

“Who says I’m going to break your heart?” He yelled.

“Everyone I love leaves me.” I glanced down at his hand that was still wrapped around my wrist, his grip tightening only slightly. I met his eyes again, my tears calming. “Can you promise me right now that if I don’t walk away, that you’ll stay?” His grip loosened and my arm dropped back down to my side.

“And cut!” The director yelled and Seokjin immediately left the set we were standing on. My eyes followed him, wondering what I had done to make him hate me so much. “Y/N, your acting was so beautiful!” The director praised, placing his hands on my shoulders. I smiled up at him, thanking him for his kind words.

Taehyung, another co-star and Seokjin’s brother, sat in my dressing room as per usual, jumping up to greet me. I chuckled as he threw his arms around me, going on about how amazing I did during that last scene. “Don’t lie to her, Tae.” When I turned towards where the voice was coming from, Seokjin was leaning against the doorframe, his infamous smirk dancing across his lips. The same lips I’ve kissed multiple times now. The same lips I tend to dream about.

“Yah, hyung, don’t be so rude.” Taehyung whined, furrowing his brows at his older brother. I smiled up at him, telling him not to worry.

“I can handle criticism. What do you think I could do better, Seokjin?” I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his response. He stood straighter, dropping his arms that were once crossed across his chest back to his side.

“Quit.” He said simply as if that was an option this late into the drama. “Jungkook and Namjoon are meeting us at the restaurant.” His words are now directed at Taehyung, and with that, he takes his leave, leaving me absolutely dumbfounded.

“Don’t listen to him, Y/N. I think you’re amazing.” I nodded, telling him he should hurry to meet his friends. “Did you want to come?” He asked, his hard to resist pout on his face.

“I don’t think I’m invited.” I joked, reading through the texts I missed while filming. “Besides, it looks like Bang Chan is picking me up for date night.” I smiled. Chan will definitely be a breath of fresh air from this shitty day. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I grabbed my purse and quickly headed outside to meet Chan.

“Hey, there’s my beautiful girlfriend.” He smiled when I emerged from the doors, and immediately brought me in for a kiss. “Are you hungry? Should we go eat?” I nodded excitedly as he led me to his car.

When we got to the restaurant, the last thing I was expecting was to hear someone call my name. I smiled widely when I saw Jungkook waving at me, and then laughed to myself when I realized that Seokjin and Taehyung were on there way here. “Why don’t you join us?” Jungkook also looked up at me with his hard to resist pout, but Bang Chan and I didn’t get a lot of time for date night.

“We’d love to.” Chan chimed in, placing his hand on my back. “It’s still date night because we’re with each other.” He whispered into my ear before we took two empty seats at the table. “I’m Bang Chan.” He held out his hand for Jungkook and Namjoon to shake, a cute smile on his face as the other two introduced themselves as well.

“Y/N talks about you a lot!” Jungkook spoke up with a smile, and I couldn’t help the blush that rose to my cheeks.

“I guess it’s only fair, since I talk my friend’s ears off about her all the time.” I lightly hit his arm and he chuckled, taking my hand in his, bringing it to his lips for a quick kiss.

“What are you doing here?” Seokjin quipped as soon as he was sitting down.

“I was invited. Twice actually.” He rolled his eyes and proceeded to ignore my entire existence, as he usually does. I tried to enjoy myself, to pretend that Jin’s words didn’t bother me. I tried to pretend he wasn’t even there and enjoy the evening with my boyfriend and friends.

The next day, I stood across from Taehyung for his confession scene. I could see Seokjin in my peripherals, most likely judging every move I make. “Why can’t you look at me the way you look at him?” Taehyung yelled, tears welling up in his eyes. “I’ve been right in front of you this entire time. I’m always there for you, every single time he hurts you.” His voice was softening with each word. He’s such an amazing actor, my heart was breaking the more he spoke. “I would never hurt you like that. I love you.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, tears welling up in my own eyes. “I just can’t stop loving him.”

“Cut!” The director called with a wide smile on his face. “Beautiful as always, Y/N!” He exclaimed, draping his arm across my shoulders, and walked off the set with me, going on and on about how excited he was for this drama. “Go take a break. I’ll have someone come get you for your next scene.” I smiled and started off towards my dressing room when Jin stopped me by grabbing my upper arm.

“I thought you should see this.” He held his phone up to my face, and I could feel my heart break at the image on the screen. There was pictures of Chan with another girl. He was wearing a hat and a mask, but I’d recognize him anywhere. I’ve been in love with him for 2 years now. “You okay?” He removed his hand from my arm and slid his phone into his pocket.

“What do you think?” I scoffed. “I just found out that my boyfriend of 2 years is cheating on me. Do you think I’d be okay?”

“I’m sorry.” His voice was soft. “No one deserves that, not even you.” He gave me a sad smile. I just thanked him and walked to my dressing room, seeing Chan sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, standing in the doorway, my hand still on the doorknob. Chan looked up with a smile on his face, and I could feel myself crumbling. I wanted to be strong, but his smile has always been my weakness.

“I figured I’d bring you some food.” He said, pointing to the array of takeout bags on the table in front of him. “Thought we could have a mini date while you’re waiting to film.” He spoke like nothing was wrong. Like he didn’t just break my heart and tore my world apart.

“Chan don’t play with me right now. I know about her.” He smile seemed to fall at my words. I watched as he visibly swallowed and stood up from the couch.

“I guess it’s time you know the truth.” He told me softly as he walked towards me. “I don’t love you, Y/N.” The tears I was trying to hold in started to fall in that moment. “Our relationship was a publicity stunt set up by our companies.” He continued. “My group wasn’t doing as well as we hoped when we first debuted, and you were having a hard time moving on from your previous relationship.” He explained, and I tried so hard not to sob in front of him. “They thought it would be best if you didn’t know about it, let you move on naturally.”

“So you thought it would be best for me to fall in love with you and end up heartbroken again?” He reached out for me, but before I could move away from his touch, a hand grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t touch her.” Beside me stood Kim Seokjin with a look of pure anger on his face. “Leave and don’t think of contacting Y/N ever again.” He dropped his hand and moved out of the way to allow him to leave. “What a disgusting guy.” Jin scoffed as he watched Chan leave. “Enjoy the food he brought you and relax a bit.” I nodded and watched as he walked away as if he didn’t just do what he did. And I pretended like my heart wasn’t pounding in my chest.

For the next couple of weeks, I threw myself into my work. I put on my brave face and pretended I wasn’t hurting. I put my entire heart into my work. And I knew everyone around me could tell I was trying to distract myself from my breakup that recently went public. I could see the looks of pity from staff members and other cast members. Taehyung tried his best to help distract me, and for that I’m thankful. Even Seokjin was nicer to me, bringing me a coffee every morning. He even began to bring me home cooked meals, saying he noticed I wasn’t eating as much.

“If you want to love me, then just love me!” Jin yelled as we acted out the dramatic reconciliation scene.

“I don’t want to love someone who doesn’t love me!” I yelled back, feeling myself get dizzy. I could see the edges of my vision getting dark, but I pushed through.

“I fucking love you, okay?! I always have.” It was my line; I knew it was. But when I opened my mouth, no sound came out. The next thing I remember was falling to the ground as everyone called out my name.

When I woke up some time later, Taehyung was sitting in the chair beside me while Jin sat in a chair across the room. “Hey.” Taehyung spoke softly. “Let me grab the doctor.” He brought the hand he was holding up to his lips and placed a soft kiss to it before leaving the room to grab the doctor.

“I know you’re hurting, but you need to take care of yourself.” Jin spoke up, barely looking up from his phone. “The director said we’re going to take a break. We start filming again in about a week, so take this time to get better.”

“I never thanked you for standing up for me when Chan told me our relationship was fake.” Jin just nodded.

“Anyone would have done what I did put in that situation. Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I think you deserve that kind of shit.”

“Why do you dislike me so much anyway?” At this question, he lowered his phone and looked at me.

“You’re a rookie actress. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am, and then some model comes along and gets a lead role in her first audition. The director always goes on about how great you are, but you’re average at best. Any other actress could do what you do.” I nodded, understanding where he came from. He was right.

“You know I got into acting because of you. My dream was to act alongside you, Kim Seokjin. And lucky me, my first role is opposite you.” I chuckled. Before he could say anything, Taehyung returned with the doctor.

“Miss L/N, I’m sorry to tell you that you suffered a miscarriage.” My heart stopped. “The shock of it caused you to collapse today. "I’ve prescribed these pills for you to take so you can pass the fetus.” Tears sprung to my eyes. Something I had wanted for so long was so close in my reach and I had no idea.

“Thank you.” I whispered, taking the bottle from his hands, and staring at it.

“Everything else seems normal. So you’re welcome to go home.” I could barely hear his words, ringing in my ears taking over all the sounds as I stared at the pill bottle in my hands.

“We’ll take you home.” Taehyung whispered, taking one of my hands in his, pulling my attention from the pills to him. “Change into this, we’ll wait outside the door for you.” I nodded. Him and Jin stepped outside the door, and I slowly got up and changed out of the hospital gown.

The drive to my house felt like a sick, twisted dream. My hand rested on my stomach as I stared out the window, the quiet conversation happening in the front between the two brothers not even registering in my ears. All I could think about was the unborn baby I’d never get to meet. “Did you want me to stay with you?” Taehyung asked when we pulled up to my house. I shook my head, quietly telling him I wanted to be alone.

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, running my hands over my stomach, imagining what I’d look like with a baby bump. Imagining what I’d be like as a mom. The pill bottle sat on the sink counter while I smiled through the tears, saying a quiet goodbye to the unborn baby I named Haneul, meaning heaven.

I spent the next few hours laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, my tears officially stopped. I fell asleep at some point, waking up only because someone was ringing my doorbell. It was close to noon the next day, so I pulled myself out of bed, wondering who would be bothering me right now. “I figured you wouldn’t be taking care of yourself properly.” Jin said when I opened the door. He slid his shoes off and slipped on a pair of house slippers as if he’s been here a million times before. It was then that I noticed the grocery bags in his hands. I watched in awe as he walked to my kitchen, setting everything down and beginning to cook as if he lives here.

Eventually, I found my way to the couch in my living room, turning on the tv for some background noise. I stared straight at it, but I wasn’t paying attention, instead living in my own mind, wondering what Haneul would have been like. “Drink this.” Jin said softly, handing me a cup of tea as he sat on the chair beside the couch I sat on. “Food is almost ready.” I nodded, softly blowing on the freshly made tea. “Did you want to talk about it?” I sat there, thinking about what I could say. Jin sat there, staring at me, waiting for me to say something.

“I always wanted to be a mom.” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant.” I felt numb. I cried myself to sleep and I was completely cried out. Jin silently reached out, taking my free hand in his, running his thumb across my knuckles which was surprisingly soothing.

“You’re going to make a great mom someday, Y/N.” His voice was just as soft as mine as he spoke. All I could do was nod. The two of us sat there for a couple minutes in silence as he continued to hold my hand and I sipped on my tea. Eventually he got up to finish the food he was making and returned. We continued to sit in silence, pretending to watch whatever was on tv as we ate.

Jin ended up staying the entire day, only leaving once the sun had set and stars littered the sky. “I’m sorry for being so rude to you.” He said before turning and walking out the door. I watched as he got into his car and drove away with a soft smile on my face.

He ended up coming over every day during our week-long break. He would cook for us and we’d sit and eat while watching something on tv. We’d talk and get to know each other, and I found myself not wanting him to leave when nighttime rolled around.

I thought I’d spend this week in bed, mourning the loss of the child I never got to meet. Laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, letting the days pass by slowly until I could throw myself into work again and pretend this never happened.

Instead, I spent the week laughing so hard I could feel abs forming. I spent it getting to know the actor I’ve looked up to since his very first role, who ended up being the same man who hated me for months. The pain I felt just days ago seemed to fade into the background as I enjoyed my time with Kim Seokjin.

The day we returned to work, Taehyung immediately threw his arms around me, asking if I was doing okay. “I’m fine, Tae.” I giggled. He pushed back from the hug, looking at me with wide eyes while I looked up at him with a smile. “Have I ever told you how pretty you are when you smile?” He beamed, pinching my cheek, and I couldn’t help but let out another giggle.

“Only every day since the day we met.”

“And I will continue to do so until the day we die.” He huffed, booping my nose as Jin approached the two of us, handing me a coffee.

“Glad to see you looking like yourself.” Jin smiled as I took the coffee from his hand and taking a sip. Since day one of him bringing me coffee, I always wondered how he knew my coffee order, but I decided not to overthink it and just be grateful.

Our chemistry on screen definitely improved thanks to our week spent together. We started with the scene I fainted during, blowing everyone away with the emotions we portrayed so easily. “I don’t want to give my all if you’re going to walk away.” My voice was soft as my eyes welled up with tears. Jin reached out, cupping my face, and slowly wiping away the few tears that fell.

“I’ll never walk away from you. Not this time.” He started leaning in, and I could feel the butterflies erupt in my stomach. As his face got closer to mine, my eyes fluttered closed, as did his. And before I knew it, his lips were pressed to mine. It was like my body was shocked with electricity the moment our lips touched and moved in sync. My hands made their way to his chest, balling his shirt up in my fists.

Everyone seemed to disappear while I focused on the feeling of his lips on mine. It was like we were no longer filming a drama, like he was kissing me because he wanted to. And I didn’t want it to end. But it did. He pulled away, resting his forehead on mine. “I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”

“Cut!” Slowly, Jin backed away from me, unlike all the other times we’ve filmed in which he would rushed off set as if I was a disease he didn’t want to catch. “That was the best take in the entire drama!” The director exclaimed as he walked over to us. My face felt hot when I realized just how many people were watching that scene being filmed. “Let’s keep this chemistry up for the rest of the drama!” Jin and I both nodded before walking off set to get ready for the next scene.

“Holy shit that was steamy!” Taehyung exclaimed, throwing his arms around both of us.

The rest of filming that day went just as well, everyone fawning over our new found chemistry. Every time, my face would go hot and I would avoid eye contact with everyone, hoping these new feelings would stay hidden. “We’re grabbing dinner with some friends; did you want to join?” Jin asked as I walked out of my dressing room, ready to go home and order in.

“Did my hyung really just ask Y/N to join us to dinner?!” Taehyung gasped, looking between the two of us.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Tae. We’re friends now.” Friends. The word rolled off his tongue so easily, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. I realized I didn’t want to be friends with Kim Seokjin. I wanted more; so much more.

I wanted to wake up to his face, his arms wrapped around my body as the sun illuminated his handsome face. I wanted to watch him cook all the time, practically dancing around the kitchen. I wanted to come home after a stressful day and see him on the couch, sipping on a drink while watching something on tv. I’d cuddle up to him and feel immediately better, forgetting whatever it was that made me annoyed. He’d tell me about his day, playing with my hair, his voice soft as he spoke. I wanted to kiss him whenever I wanted, claiming him as mine as strangers passed by. I wanted everything with Kim Seokjin; his good and his bad.

In just a short amount of time, he had helped me move on from Chan, the broken heart I once felt, completely forgotten. It was the fastest I’d ever fallen for someone, and I was terrified. But I put on a smile and agreed to dinner, following Jin and Tae to the parking lot.

Namjoon and Jungkook were already at the restaurant, joined by a couple guys I’ve yet to meet. Jungkook’s eyes widened when he saw me walking in with Jin and Taehyung, and they almost popped out when Jin pulled out my chair for me and taking the spot beside me. “That’s Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin. Guys, this is Y/N.” He introduced before picking up the menu and scanning through every item. Jungkook and Taehyung exchanged looks as they watched the interactions between Jin and I, both wondering what changed. “This is one of my favourites.” Jin whispered, pointing to something on the menu. “But I think you’d like this better.” He turned the page and pointed to something else.

“How do you know me so well?” I chuckled after reading what was in the dish, my mouth watering at the very thought. Jin’s ears turned a light red as a blush dusted his cheeks. He shrugged and continued looking through his menu.

After receiving our food, the 8 of us slowly ate while making conversation. The guys shared stories of their adventures together, causing the others to cringe in embarrassment, but I couldn’t help but laugh. They’ve known each other for years now, and it was evident by the teasing and playful banter.

I sat mostly silent, watching their interactions, and smiling to myself. My eyes continuously drifted to the handsome man beside me, watching how he interacted with the younger boys. I was so entranced by him that I didn’t notice the eyes on me from across the table, questioning my every move. Jungkook would ask me later how I felt about Jin, but I just brushed it off.

When Jin and Tae drove me home, Jin actually got out of his car and walked me to the door, using the excuse that he wanted to make sure I got inside okay. “I hope they weren’t overwhelming.” He said as we stood outside my door.

“I had fun.” I smiled and silence surrounded us, neither of us knowing what to say but not ready to say goodbye quite yet. It felt too much like the end of a date for my liking, my hopes raising the longer he stood in front of me, kicking his feet while glancing at me every once in a while.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He eventually broke the silence and turned and walked away. I once again watched as he got into his car and drove off, a small smile on my face. I fell in love with Kim Seokjin.

The filming for the drama soon wrapped up, and everyone talked about how big a hit it’s going to be. “It was nice working with you.” Jin said, leaning against the doorway of my dressing room. I was packing up my things to make room for whoever was going to use this room next. “Maybe we’ll act again together in the future.” A wide smile danced across his lips, and it took everything in me not to kiss him.

Now that I know what it’s like to kiss Kim Seokjin, I never wanted to stop. I was addicted to the feeling of his lips on mine. “Don’t be a stranger. Let’s grab dinner sometime.” I smiled, throwing my bag over my shoulder, and walking towards the door.

“With everyone else, or just us?” His wide smile turned teasing in a matter of seconds, and the butterflies in my stomach couldn’t seem to calm down.

“I wouldn’t mind it being just us.” I laced my words with a teasing tone, hoping he wouldn’t catch on to the feelings I’ve developed that seemed to only grow stronger in his presence.

“Are you asking me on a date, Miss Y/N?” He stood up straight, crossing his arms across his chest. In that moment, I decided to be bold, taking a step closer to him.

“And if I am?” I too crossed my arms across my chest as I watched a smile break out on his face.

“Then I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 6. Now, let me drive you home.” He grabbed my hand, causing my arms to drop to my sides, and laced our fingers together. Taehyung was watching everything play out, calling after that Jungkook will pick him up, and to use protection.

“I can’t believe I get to go on a date with my favourite actor.” I joked when we were in the car. Jin let out a laugh, glancing over at me for only a second before looking back to the road. “Who would have thought my favourite actor would return my feelings?!” I exclaimed as I turned my body slightly to watch Jin drive.

“Are you going to be saying this the entire time we date?” He chuckled. “Because I might just fuck around and marry you if that’s the case.”

“Take my whole heart, Kim Seokjin. I don’t even want it back!”

[alpacaparkaseok]

Pairing: doctor!Jungkook x reader (ok, technically clinical technician!Jungkook lol)

Wordcount: 1.6k

Genre/Rating: Fluff! strangers to friends to a lil’ more 👀👀

Tags/Warnings: mentions blood just for a moment (when talking about JK’s work). shouldn’t be anything too crazy, Jungkook is just your annoying new neighbor that sings abnoxiously loud in the shower. oh, and did I mention that the two of you share a wall? 

a/n: You wonderful, beautiful people! This post is a commission for the ARMY for AAPI Justice and Advocacy Event. Please click here to find more resources and consider donating to the cause! And THANK YOU @ezralia-writes for commissioning this! *insert round of applause and flowers* I hope you enjoy!

April 23rd

You should’ve known it was too good to be true.

You’d been living in utter bliss for the past six months, having moved across the city to a relatively quiet part of town. You had a neighbor; you were sure of it. Had seen their car in the parking lot too many times to not have one.

It’s just, you never heard them. Let alone saw them.

Which was completely fine. The loud, obnoxious lifestyle people usually adopted in a city as bustling as Seoul had never suited you anyway. For six months, you basked in the glorious silence from your next door neighbor. The only signal that you ever got that they were even there was the occasional time you’d both be showering at the same time. Your bathrooms shared a wall, which you tried to ignore. Thankfully, your neighbor seemed to ignore it as well.

So why is there a man suddenly belting out I Will Always Love You as though performing a one-man tribute to Whitney Houston?

The sound of his booming voice nearly knocked you off your feet as you made quick work of shaving your legs. Surely he must have heard your shower running! Can’t a woman get some peace and quiet on a Friday morning?! There’s nothing to celebrate yet!

You even make a point of clearing your throat loud enough to be heard on the other side of the wall, but he doesn’t falter in his loud, albeit dazzling, rendition of the song. He pauses for a second, giving you just enough time to let out a sigh of relief and begin on your other leg.

Leg soapy and ready to be shaved, you make it halfway through one swipe before the singing starts up again.

He only paused to switch songs. Whitney Houston tribute over, he begins a passionate ode to Adele’s greatest hits.

“What did I do to deserve this?” You sigh, resolving to finish up before the song is over and you’re subjected to another.

May 1st

           It begins innocently enough. After a week of subjecting you to his siren-like voice, there’s a knock on your door. Of course, you assume it’s the food you’d ordered, so you just finish throwing your sweatshirt on before wrenching the door open.

           “Hey,” you look up to tell the deliverer that you just need to grab your wallet, but your mouth runs dry at the sight before you.

           Grinning with a friendly smile that might be a bit of overkill, a boy – nah, a whole man if we’re being honest here – gives you a sheepish wave. His long brown hair is falling into his eyes, which he meticulously brushes off to the side.

           “Hey! You must be my neighbor!” When you keep staring at him with what you hope is a look of neutrality, he flushes a deep red. “I- er, I mean, obviously. That was kind of dumb of me…”

           “You’re not the food guy?” It’s the only you can think to say, willing your eyes to focus in on his face and not the way his sweatshirt and sweats look on him. “Uh…I mean, yeah. Neighbors.”

           The man before you lets out an adorable chuckle at your silly comment. “Oh, good. I’m not the only awkward one here.”

           “Woah! I’m not awkward! I’m just hungry!” You cry out, making him only laugh harder.

           “I’m Jungkook, by the way,” he says, nose crinkling as you look at him with wide eyes. So this is what was on the other side of the wall, belting out Mariah Carey this morning. “I just moved in last week, and realized that I haven’t even come over to say hello. You know, like a friendly neighbor should.”

           “Hey, Jungkook.” You look around, wondering if there’s anyone else outside witnessing this incredibly awkward first meeting. “I, uh, well…I’m me.”

           He snorts. “Yeah, I know. I’m assuming your name is the one on the mailbox? Next to mine?”

           We have mailboxes??

           “Oh, ha! Yeah, that’d be it.” You shuffle back and forth on your feet, unsure of what to say next. “Well, I thought you were the delivery service-“

           “I just delivered food, too!” Jungkook says with a grin. He runs his hands up and down his arms even though it’s not cold outside. “I was thinking that…you know, we could eat together? I actually ended up ordering extra, but it looks like that wasn’t necessary.”

           You grin, settling against your doorframe. “Ah, so you’re here to woo me with takeout? You should’ve just said so.”

           It looks like Jungkook’s considering moving again. He swallows thickly, eyes flitting over to you before staring down at your floor. “Actually…I heard you watching TV…were you watching Wanda Vision?” When you nod, he sucks in a breath. “It’s just, I haven’t bought a TV yet, and-“

          “Oh, tough luck. Good luck with that.” You burst out into a fit of giggles at the tentative look in his eyes. Silently forgiving him for all those mornings that doubled as musicals over the past week, you wing the door open a little wider and gesture for him to come inside. “Come in, I need someone to bounce theories off anyways.”

           That’s all it takes before Jungkook is bounding inside, settling down on your couch with an air of comfortability that seems so at odds with his shy nature. Then again, everything about him seems to contradict his shy smile.

           You like it.

June 2nd

What originally started as a simple friendship; Jungkook brought food and you let him have the remote; quickly turned into constant interaction. You learned that he had a roommate that was hardly ever home named Taehyung. He has a brother that he visits every other month. He works as clinical technician, but he’s known more for his beautiful voice more than his title as doctor.

Apparently he was known in the lab for singing little lullabies to the glass flasks containing different samples of blood and other fluids, even occasionally chatting with them as though they were avidly listening.

The more you learned, the more you really wished your old neighbor never moved out in the first place. Especially as you slipped on some shoes to take out the trash one night only to run face first into a familiar chest.

“Jungkook,” you groan, rubbing your nose and peeking up at the boy-like grin he wears. “What was that for?“

You step around him, closing the door to your apartment and heading down the stairs to where the dumpsters were located. “My bad. I was just about to knock.”

He matches your stride, hair whipping about in the wind. You realize that he’s wearing his lab coat, making you furrow your brows. “Aren’t you supposed to leave that at the lab?” You ask, pointing to the white coat.

Jungkook pouts, looking down at his coat as though just remembering that he was still wearing it. “Oh, well I have to wash it, you know. I brought it home with me today.”

“Ok…but why are you still wearing it?” You give him a half-smile as he reaches to open the lid to the dumpster, allow you to throw your trash inside.

Jungkook blinks, as though this latest question completely threw him for a loop. “Uh…I thought it might help.”

“With what?”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You think doctors are sexy, don’t you?”

           “What?!” You choke out quite literally, beginning to cough. “Who- I never said that!”

           Jungkook grins maliciously. “Yeah, but I heard you watching Grey’s Anatomy the other day. And it was on your recently watched.”

           You begin to walk away, waving him off. “That doesn’t mean anything, Jungkook. So what? It’s just a show.”

           Running ahead of you, Jungkook bounds up the first few steps before turning around to face you again, effectively cutting off your escape route. “Be honest. You don’t find them the least bit sexy? This coat does nothing for you?” He runs his hands down the lapels for emphasis.

           You attempt to push past him. “What is even happening today?” Jungkook stops you in your tracks, hands on your upper arms and trapping you against the railing.

           “I thought I might as well give myself a chance,” he mumbles, head tilted to one side as he takes in the way you’re staring up at him with utter confusion. “Don’t you wanna go out with a doctor?”

           You blink slowly. “You…you’re setting me up with a doc-“

           “Yah!” Jungkook groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How many way do I have to say it? I want you to be the Wanda to my Vision!”            “Jungkook, we’ve talked about this…” you sigh, hiding your laugh at his impatience. “They have a toxic relationship, why would I want that?”

           “Don’t make me do this!” Jungkook whines, cheeks turning pink. “Just tell me yes or no!”

           “To what?” You ask, feigning ignorance. “I don’t even know what you’re asking.”

           “Nooo, you do,” Jungkook presses in closer as though that’ll help you understand. “I want you and I to…to…you know, I think we’d be good together.”

           You frown. “Aren’t we together right now?”

           “I swear-“ Jungkook takes a step back, sighing up at the sky. You snap your fingers, having a sudden epiphany.

           “Oh, you mean together like we start singing duets in the morning through the wall?”

           He blinks before bursting out into a fit of laughter. “I…yeah! Exactly!”

           “No. But I will let you take me out on a date.” You give him a long look. “I’ve never been kissed by a doctor before, you know.”

           Jungkook turns an impressive shade of red. “O-oh. You haven’t?”

           “Nope,” you pop the ‘p’. Turning to head up the stairs, you leave him in his shock. “Wonder what it’s like.”

           Taking off in a run, you only get about a two second head start before Jungkook overtakes you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in close, wide eyes eating up every inch of your skin.

           Tilting your chin up, he breathes out, “Well, why don’t we change that?”

masterlist

commission a request!

[nerdzzone]

Only For A Moment: July

Summary: A series of shorter one shots from Chris and Whitney’s life together throughout the pandemic. Some happy times, some harder times, some fluff and some things a little more sexy - they work through it all as they try to get settled in their new and blossoming relationship.

Chris Evans x OFC

Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series

Only For A Moment: June

-----

July 2020

Chris was stressed.

It was understandable as he'd just launched his new endeavour - A Starting Point - but it was worrying me how anxious and overwhelmed he seemed to be. The feedback so far had been good, but he was still concerned about how it was going to be received and whether or not people would actually find it useful. He had several long, full days of interviews scheduled to promote it and explain what they hoped to achieve and, after the first week, he was exhausted which made him moody and withdrawn.

It didn't help that Grayson had quickly adjusted to having our undivided attention and was growing increasingly frustrated with his dad's busy schedule. The Friday after the launch, Chris promised him that he'd be done by bedtime so he could tuck him in, but technical difficulties got in the way and he was once again stuck in front of his laptop until well into the evening.

And that was where I found him, at almost nine o'clock, when I went to see if he'd be finished anytime soon. I'd poked my head around the door and saw him sat at his desk with his head in his hands and the sight made my heart ache.  Sneaking up behind him, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"Hey," I greeted him softly. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he assured me, but the sigh that followed told me otherwise. "Just tired. It's been a busy week."

"It has. We've missed you."

My words weren't meant to add guilt to his stress, but I realized my mistake when he winced.

"Sorry," he mumbled, placing a kiss on my arm where it rested across his chest. "I did try to finish early today - I suggested we push the last interview until tomorrow when we hit the connection issues, but they weren't having it. Was Grayson mad that I missed bedtime again?"

"Not mad," I shrugged. "Just a bit disappointed."

Chris' head fell forward and his shoulders stiffened.

"That's worse."

"No, it's not," I insisted, squeezing him tightly. "He was just a little sad, but he got over it. I promised him that you'd do something fun with him when you weren't so busy and he accepted that."

"I was actually thinking of taking him to the museum to see the dinosaur exhibit," Chris admitted. "They just reopened, but he'd have to wear a mask."

"He'd love that," I smiled, knowing how much both of them loved their father and son days. We'd made an effort to give him more one on one time, but it was limiting when we hadn't been able to leave the house much until recently. "And I think he'd be okay with a mask. We can order one and get him to wear it at home for a bit to get used to it."

"Good idea," Chris nodded. "I can do that tomorrow"

"Or I can," I suggested, kissing the side of his head. "You're busy enough at the moment. And you're stressed, I can feel the tension in your shoulders."

Chris sighed again and I felt a pang of sympathy for him.

"I know. This project just means a lot to me. I want it to do well."

"And it is," I reminded him as an idea hit me. "C'mon, I know what you need to help you relax."

"Oh, yeah?" Chris smirked and I rolled my eyes as his mind had clearly gone straight to something dirty. "What would that be?"

"Probably not whatever you're thinking of," I informed him. "But there's some pizza left in the kitchen. Go have a slice of that and then meet me in the bedroom."

"Alright, I like the sound of this."

His smirk had grown and I swatted the back of his head as I slid my arms off of his shoulders.

"Don't be such a perv!"

He laughed and stood up from his chair as I shook my head and he pulled me in for a quick kiss before we headed downstairs and went our separate ways.

-

If there was one thing I knew how to do, it was run the perfect bath for relaxation. It had been my tradition every evening after I'd dropped Gray off at Chris' house - I would pour myself a glass of wine and take a bath, enjoying the opportunity for a long soak without the risk of Grayson interrupting. The bathtub in Chris' en suite made that indulgence even better due to it's size and depth and I'd taken advantage of it several times during our stay with Chris. Which meant that I had quite the assortment of bath salts and bubble bath to create the perfect bath for Chris.

The tub had just finished filling up when he walked in and I heard him chuckle at the sight.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed."

"Oh, shush," I teased, turning around to face him once I'd turned off the taps. "This will be much more effective than whatever you were imagining."

Chris scoffed at that claim, a smirk firmly on his face.

"I disagree."

"I'm sure you do, but that's too bad. Now, strip."

"Ooh, I like it when you're bossy."

His comment earned another roll of my eyes as I crossed my arms and waited for him to do as I'd instructed.

As he did, I couldn't help, but stare. He seemed to be toning up even more during our quarantine and the sight of his perfectly sculpted body took my breath away every time I had the luxury of seeing it. He caught my gaze and colour flooded my cheeks as I knew that he'd seen me gawking at him, but despite the smug look on his face, he made no comment as he climbed into the tub.

Once he was settled with his head resting back on the edge of the tub, I sat down on the closed lid of the toilet and picked my phone up from where it was sitting on the counter. I unlocked the screen with the intention of replying to my mother who had messaged me while I was getting the bath ready, but a giggle slipped from my lips when I saw what was already open on my phone from earlier that day. Chris raised a questioning eyebrow and I debated whether or not to tell him about it. It had the potential to send his stress levels sky rocketing again, but if he thought I was hiding something from him, it would probably irritate him and ruin his mood anyway so I came clean.

"Hannah sent me a link to an Instagram account today that posts lots of gossip stuff," I informed him. "Most of it seems to be just random submissions, but they've been right a few times, I guess, so people seem to believe whatever they say now."

"And why did she send you a link to it?"

"Because apparently you're engaged."

I was smiling as I broke the news to him because obviously I knew it wasn't true, but Chris let out a groan of annoyance.

"Engaged to who?! To you?"

"No, to a mysterious blonde. Apparently, the person who sent in the message has a friend who spotted you picking up some takeout with this woman. Her ring was clearly on display and you were openly affectionate with her while you waited for your food."

"That's just a straight up lie," Chris huffed. "I don't know why people waste their time making this shit up and I really don't know why you bother reading it."

"It's not like I seek it out, but Hannah finds it entertaining to see what people are saying about us," I shrugged. "You have to admit that it's kinda funny. It sends everyone into such a frenzy."

Chris shot me a look.

"Funny isn't the word I'd use."

"C'mon, it's a little amusing!" I smiled, scrolling down to the comments. "Like, look, they're discussing whether or not I fit the description in case I just dyed my hair blonde. But then someone else says they saw me in L.A. two weeks ago, around the time you were with the blonde woman, so it couldn't possibly be me. They're like little detectives."

Chris rolled his eyes, but there was a reluctant smile on his face.

"Detectives aren't allowed to just make things up," he pointed out. "Unless you took a secret trip a few weeks ago that I didn't know about."

"No, I didn't," I laughed. "You have some very creative fans."

"I don't think it's my fans who write that stuff. It's probably other people trying to antagonize them."

"Well, it works like a charm. They go nuts trying to decide if it's true. I just wish they wouldn't get so mean about it sometimes," I admitted. "Like, some of them were saying how glad they were that you'd moved on from me finally because of how cruel it is that I ruined your life by trapping you with a baby."

The scowl on Chris' face instantly returned with that additional information and I scolded myself for saying it.

"I should have let Downey sue them all like he wanted to when it first leaked that you were pregnant," Chris huffed. "Then maybe by now these gossip pages would know better than to post shit about us."

"It would have just made things worse," I insisted as a smirk slid onto my face. "Besides, it doesn't really bother me. I'm the one sitting next to you while you lounge completely naked in a bubble bath while they spiral into a jealous pit of despair."

That comment earned me a laugh before he sat up a bit higher in the tub.

"Why are you sitting over there anyway?" He asked. "Get in here with me."

I smiled at his demand, but shook my head.

"This isn't supposed to be a sexy bath. You're supposed to be relaxing."

"And what better way to relax than to share a bath with the woman I love?"

A statement like that was hard to resist, especially as he grinned up at me from the tub with that amazing smile of his. I relented with surprisingly little resistance and rose from where I was sitting.

"I suppose that's fair..."

Putting my phone back on the counter, I turned so my back was to Chris. I could feel his eyes burning into me as he stared and I bit back a smirk. I quickly undid the button on the shorts I was wearing and slid them down my legs, bending at the waist as I stepped out of them. A noise of approval came from behind me as I stood up again and I shot him what I hoped was a sexy look over my shoulder before I pulled my shirt over my head. After slipping out of my bra and quickly pulling off my panties, I left them with my shorts and turned around with one hand over my chest to keep it covered until I was settled in the tub under all the bubbles.

"Wow," Chris grinned. "You're so fuckin' hot."

I giggled at his compliment, feeling a wave of self-confidence from my little strip tease.

For the past few weeks I'd been spending more time in Chris' home gym and I was feeling the positive side effects - more than just in my slowly developing muscle tone. We'd had a fight one night not long after our first pool day when I made some self-deprecating comments that rubbed Chris the wrong way. He scolded me rather harshly for always talking badly about my body and, while at first his exasperated reaction made me shut down, it eventually led to a very open conversation.

I explained that I wasn't just fishing for compliments all the time. I had some serious insecurities and - as analyzed by Hannah who was a very well trained psychologist - I tended to put myself down first before someone else could do it. I informed him that it wasn't just the body changes that come from pregnancy that bothered me, but the fact that I hadn't had much time to go to the gym since Gray was born - when he was with me, I was busy with him and when he was with Chris, I was busy with work.

He understood where I was coming from and reminded me that his home gym was available for my use any time I wanted, but insisted that I make sure I was doing it for the right reasons. He didn't want me killing myself to change how I looked when I didn't really need to, but I assured him that my motivations weren't all vanity related. Sure, I wanted to look good, but I missed feeling strong and healthy.

After our conversation, I’d started taking some time every day to get some exercise and the difference it was making to my confidence even after a few short weeks was huge. So, hearing Chris' praise now made me feel wonderful because I was actually starting to believe it.

"Thanks," I smiled in response to his compliment as I got settled in the bath tub. We were facing each other, my legs draped over his thighs so my feet were resting by his hips and my bum was between his shins. He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together as he watched me with what could only be described as an adoring look. "It's amazing what a few weeks at the gym can do."

"Helps that you were pretty hot to start with too," he teased. "But I'm glad you're feeling more confident."

"Me too." I leaned forward to press a soft kiss on his lips. "So, are you feeling more relaxed?"

"I am," Chris nodded before letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry I've been so stressed out lately. I just want this whole thing to go well."

"And it is," I repeated my earlier assurance. "So far you've had a great reaction."

"For now," he frowned. "I just want people to actually use it and get involved."

"They will," I assured him, leaning in for another kiss. "Have I told you how proud I am of you? You're doing such a great thing, using your influence to try and make a difference. It's very inspiring."

"Well, I think you're too kind," he told me, trying to be humble despite the proud grin on his face. "Really, it's the least I can do."

"Nope, the least you could do is nothing," I pointed out. "But you're trying to help people and I'm so proud of you for that. I'm grateful that Grayson has a dad like you to look up to."

It appeared - for a brief moment - that Chris' eyes grew a little bit glassy, but he blinked a few times and they were clear once again.

"Thanks, Winnie." He paused to clear his throat. "That really means a lot and I'm sorry I've been so busy this week. I have one more podcast interview to do tomorrow morning and then I have a few days off."

"I'm glad you'll get a break, but you don't need to be sorry," I assured him. "Even though it has been kinda weird. It's crazy that a few months ago, we only ever saw each other in passing, but now I miss you when you're busy for even a few hours."

It was true. I had missed him the last few days and it did seem ridiculous when we used to go weeks without seeing each other and even then it was just briefly at a pick up or drop off. I'd been spoiled the last few months, having so much of his time. Now, seeing him every day wasn't even enough if I didn't have much of his undivided attention.

A brief flash of dread tore through me as I shared that thought with Chris because I knew this would all come to an end some day. We couldn't stay locked away in his house forever, eventually we would both have to go back to work and I knew it would make things harder. Some people found that the intense quality time was testing their relationship, but I was worried that we'd start to crumble as soon as we weren't together almost twenty-four hours a day. Once the world of Hollywood got it's claws back in Chris, I couldn't help but wonder where that would leave me.

But as always when those thoughts filled my mind, I did my best to push them away. It was likely still months before anything would change so there was no point in stressing about it now and Chris chuckled, bringing me back to the moment.

"Awe, you’ve missed me?"

His words were accompanied by a cocky smirk and I smiled despite my rolling eyes.

"Shut up."

"It's sweet. I never thought you'd be a clingy kinda girlfriend."

I wrinkled my nose in displeasure at that thought and shook my head.

"I'm not clingy!"

"Kinda sounds like you are," he pointed out. "Can't even get through a work day without pining for me."

"I wasn't pining!" I huffed, but he continued insisting that it seemed like I was. "Well, I was just about to suggest we get out of this bath, but now I think maybe you don't deserve what I was thinking of doing next."

"Get out? You just got in," Chris pointed out with a raised eyebrow. "What else have you got planned?"

Now it was my turn to smirk as I rested my hands on the side of the tub before pushing up until I was standing in front of him.

"A little extra relaxation," I told him, deliberately keeping it vague. "But I guess now, you'll never know."

I stepped out of the tub and grabbed my towel. With one last glance back at Chris who was still sitting in the bath, looking a mix of surprised and intrigued, I wrapped the towel around myself and left the bathroom - making sure to sway my hips a little more than usual on my way out.

I heard the water slosh as Chris leapt up to follow me and he appeared in the bedroom - towel around his waist and water dripping to the floor - moments later.

"Chris!" I laughed. "You're getting the floor all wet!"

"So are you," he pointed out. "But I don't care."

I hardly had time to take in his words before he strode swiftly across the room and pulled me against his chest. His hands gripped my hips so tightly that it undid my towel and he moved just briefly enough for it to fall to the floor. Once that was out of the way, he captured my lips in a kiss so fierce it made my breath catch in my chest.

I indulged for a moment, enjoying the feel of his hands roaming by body as his lips worked against mine, but then I remembered who this evening was supposed to be about. I pulled back slightly, just enough to trail my lips across his jaw and locked them onto a spot just below his ear as my hands moved to the towel around his waist. I could feel a slight bulge pressing against me - he wasn't hard yet, but it was clear that the anticipation was having an effect on him - and I untucked the towel and let it fall down with mine to give me easier access.

I heard Chris take in a shaky breath and felt him tighten his grip on me as I took him in my hand. Smiling against his skin and enjoying his little reactions, I stroked him until he was thick and full from my touch.

"Get on the bed."

Chris' tone was demanding and there was definitely a part of me that wanted to follow his instructions, but I resisted and moved my face away from where it was buried in his neck, shaking my head.

"No, this is all about you," I reminded him. "You need to relax."

He voiced a few protests as I kissed my way down his chest, but he fell silent as I dropped to my knees in front of him. His hands were clenched in fists by his side while I continued to gently stroke him, placing soft kisses on the top of his thigh, but when my kisses moved closer until my lips landed on his cock, his hands shot to grip in my hair. He wasn't forcing anything or trying to control my movements, but the sense of control that action gave him was something I knew he enjoyed and I smiled before getting down to business.

I licked him slowly from base to tip, making him shudder as I took him into my mouth. His hips twitched, pushing farther in and I did my best to accommodate him. Letting him slide slowly over my tongue, I stretched my jaw to get my mouth around his thick shaft. He always felt big - he was big - but this action made it even more apparent and I took as much of him as I could before sliding back up his cock.

Pausing for a moment to suck at the tip, I used my hand to stroke him as I lifted my eyes to look up at his face. His hand gripped my hair tighter as he threw his head back briefly, then returned his gaze to me and met my eyes. I smiled around his cock before letting my lips move farther down, taking him back in my mouth. Not feeling completely confident in my ability to deep throat someone of his size, I used my hand to cover the base and began to bob my head with renewed enthusiasm, spurred on by all the sighs and groans that were falling from his lips.

I could feel myself growing wet. His reactions, the position we were in, the slight tug of my hair - it was all overwhelming me and increasing the temptation to let him fall from my mouth, push him onto the bed and ride him until we both couldn't take it anymore, but I tried to stay focused as I worked his cock.

After a few minutes, I could tell he was getting close as his grip on my head began leading me more and more, a sign his self control was waning. That only spurred me on, but as his breathing shifted until he was practically panting and I could feel his thigh muscles tensing where my hand was resting, I heard a sound that would kill any mood.

"Mama!"

Grayson's voice floated down the stairs. It was distant and quiet, but enough to make my blood run cold as I instantly pulled my mouth off Chris.

"Fuck," Chris groaned, a pained look on his face as I shot up from where I was kneeling. "Fuck, that kid has bad timing."

Gray called for me again, sounding slightly closer than he had before and I threw on one of Chris' shirts that was crumpled up on the bed. Luckily, it fit me like a dress and covered everything that needed to be covered.

"I'm so sorry, babe," I flashed him an apologetic look. "I'll take care of him and you can take care of that."

I gestured to his still very hard and throbbing cock and the poor man looked like he wanted to cry as I hurried out of the room.

Turns out, Grayson was just thirsty so after a quick drink of water, I tucked him back into bed. By the time I returned to our bedroom, Chris was fast asleep as he lay sprawled out, still naked on top of the duvet. It looked as if he had just collapsed onto the bed and even though he was asleep, his face still showed his exhaustion. I felt a flash of sympathy as I pulled the blanket off the back of the chair in the corner of the room and covered him up with it, placing a soft kiss on his forehead before climbing in to my side of the bed.

-

August

Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @firoozehmoon @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker @mytbel0st @chvntelle-99

[talkfastromance4]

when i’m dreaming--calum hood oneshot

yeah so i’m going through something so this is very, very self-indulgent. 

word count: 2.3k

warnings: drinking linked a little with coping, going through a depressive low, best friend!calum

feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

***

Calum notices something is wrong the minute she steps outside. He was about to take a drink of his white claw, but his eyes went to her nails when she pulled Crystal in for a hug. She typically paints them to match her mood and today they’re opalescent pink, barely noticeable but still there. In plain sight but still visible while she secretly wants to be invisible.

She smiles and cracks jokes with everyone she says hello to then when she steps in front of Calum, he sees the sadness in her eyes. They’ve been best friends for awhile now, they’ve shared secrets, stories of first loves and heartaches, their fears, their wildest dreams. But there was always something she kept hidden, tucked away in a box welded shut.

“Hey bud,” she sighs.

“Hey short stuff,” he grins playfully pulling her in for a hug. Her arms wrap around him and he makes sure to give her an extra tight squeeze.

“I’m not that short,” she grumbles in his chest.

“You’re shorter than me,” he reminds rubbing her shoulder with his thumb. Although her arms are loose around him he can feel the tension in her shoulders that she’s carrying.

“Stop hogging her! I haven’t seen her in weeks!” Ashton exclaims and Calum pulls away.

He knows it was too soon to break the hug but to keep up with her own façade he doubts anyone else sees, he does it.

“Hey, you’re the one who disappeared into the desert for all those weeks,” she jokes rising on her toes to loop her arms around Ashton’s neck.

He gives her a big bear hug that lifts her a few inches off the ground, Calum sees her nails digging into her arm as she squeezes him.

“Had to recenter myself, you should try it sometime,” Ashton teases right back. As if she was shocked, she removes herself from the hug then accepts a bottle of Mike’s from Luke.

“I can take something stronger than this, Hemmings,” she takes a large chug regardless.

“Yeah? Like tequila? I got some limes,” he jerks his thumb behind him towards the drink table.

“I said stronger not deadly. You know I can’t handle tequila,” she scrunches her nose.

Everyone else laughs but alarms are going off in Calum’s head.

“Yeah, the floor of my Tesla doesn’t like tequila either,” Michael chimes in with a tray of shots.

“I told you to pull over,” she shrugs lifting up a shot. She takes a whiff and nods in approval at his selected alcohol choice.

“I was going 75 on the freeway!”

“And that’s why I threw up. Ready?” she lifts her glass.

Calum meets her eyes as over the hands of their friends as Ashton gives an impromptu speech about friendship and long rides. He wasn’t really paying attention because when their eyes locked, he saw the panic, he saw the fear of whatever was going on in her head.

**

The next time he sees her is at the movies. Her eyes are darker along with her nails that are now a hunter’s green; camouflaged but still visible. While they’re waiting in line for snacks, he lifts her hand in his and runs his thumb over the color.

“This is a pretty color, I’ve never seen it on you before,” he says.

“Yeah, um…wanted to try something different,” she shrugs. “Do you want the blue icee?”

“Is that even a question?” he raises a brow, and she laughs.

Once they’re settled in the seats the previews start. Calum opens up the bags of sweet and sour treats while she opens the boxes of milk duds. The large bowl of popcorn (with extra butter) is settled between them, long red straws sticking out of their frozen drinks.

Throughout the whole movie, it’s an action romantic comedy, Calum keeps glancing at her. He watches her fingers disappear in the popcorn bowl, her hunter’s green nails appearing black in the dark theater. Calum’s seen enough movies to know this moment is foreshadowing the darkness she’s slipping into. He’s preparing himself for the fall but he’s not entirely sure she is.

**

Two weeks have gone by and he hasn’t seen her since the movie. Their schedules didn’t align so he decided to surprise her with takeout from her favorite Asian restaurant and chocolate cake from her favorite bakery.

When he opens the door, he hears Friends playing on her tv and he finds her horizontal on the couch. The hood of her sweatshirt is over her head, her arms wrapped around her torso, her black nails clutching the fabric.

Calum braces himself for what he’s walking into, sets the food on her counter and crouches in front of her. He pulls her hoodie back a little so he can see her face a bit better, her eyes are distant and staring off behind him.

“Hey,” he says softly then touches her hand. It’s very cold. “Y/N.”

Upon hearing her name does she finally look at him. Her eyes have filled and spilled with her tears in a matter of seconds. He links her fingers through his.

“Hi,” she mouths, her voice barely registering.

“Is this about…him?” he asks delicately.

About a year ago he chipped away at the welding on the box. He knows it involves a guy. He knows it’s about bad timing. He knows it’s about deep emotions.

She nods and the tears erupt more. She buries her face in her hands then adds another layer by hiding in the pillow.

“Nope, nope, hey,” he tugs on her arms. She’s pliant and allows him to drag her in a sitting position. He takes the place where her head was then brings her onto his lap. “I’ve got you, I’m right here.” He murmurs and pulls her hoodie down so he can rub at her hair.

She sobs loudly into his neck. Calum holds her as tight as he can, murmuring comforting words in her ear. Her sobs would subside, but he wouldn’t let go until she did. She’s very good at keeping her emotions at bay and even better at keeping people further away from her harbor. She doesn’t ask for help often, she doesn’t open up too much and when she does it’s always the footnoted version.

Three episodes of Friends later, her hold lessens, she gives a big sniff and peels herself away from Calum. He uses the sleeves of his shirt to wipe at her tears and nose.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, and she shakes her head. “I brought food. I’ll heat it up for you.”

She nods and falls back onto the couch. He rubs her knee then heads into the kitchen. When the food is prepared on plates he brings it to her and she takes it, scarfing down the first few bites heartily.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she finally speaks when her plate is empty.

“I know,” he nods looking over at her until she meets his brown eyes. “It’s okay.”

Calum ends up staying the night, his mind reeling from what the history is with this mystery guy. His thoughts get away from him as he stares at the ceiling above the couch. Was he some celebrity that kept her under the radar and broke her heart repeatedly? A Prince from some far-off country that got her hopes up and crushed them again and again?

He’s tossing and turning until he hears the shower turn on. Sad songs play over and over on her speakers, her voice singing along with the yearning words. Ghostin’ by Ariana and When the Party’s Over by Billie replay one after another.

She’s really hurting.

Calum bounds off the couch and opens the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” he makes sure his voice is a little louder than the music.

A sniff. “Yeah?” her voice is thick.

“Just want you to know I’m here,” he shuts the door and sits next to the shower.

His heart aches when he hears her crying again, the vocals echo and bounce off the tiles. Her sadness fills the room just as it’s filled in the hidden box of the guy who’s making her feel this way.

Four more repeats go by and the shower is finally shut off. Calum scrambles off the floor, sees her tug the towel from the door of the shower. Her shadow figure wraps it around herself and she opens the door. Her skin is red from the hot water, as are her eyes and cheeks from crying more tears. He grabs another towel and helps dry her hair while she stands there avoiding her reflection in the mirror.

“It’s been five years, why do I still feel like this?” she asks quietly.

“It hurts the most when it meant something.”

He left the bathroom after he dried and brushed her hair then waited for her in her bedroom. There’s pictures on her desk from high school. Her and some guy at prom. Her and the same guy a little bit older posing in a selfie on a couch, drunken smiles on their faces. Her and the same guy a little older again posed outside.

This must be from that box. She’s cracked it open and Calum is staring at some of the pieces that have broken her wholly.

“His name’s Henry,” she explains suddenly behind him.

Calum turns to her voice. The drastic change from the happy girl in the photos to the sad girl before him startles him. He remains silent to let her speak or to go into silence again. She moves onto her bed, sitting in the center and tucks her legs against her chest.

“We never dated. But we were always…together. Together in the physical sense for four years,” she continues. Calum joins her cautiously on the bed and listens. “Back and forth always. After every relationship we fell back into each other. He’s the longest relationship I’ve had, and it wasn’t even a real one.

“We cared about each other, and…I think he loved me. Time wasn’t on our side. It was too much or too little, I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Just when I think I’ve let go; I dream of him. Then he’s on my mind for days. And now this time…” she shakes her head and Calum pulls her against him. “I went on socials and I found out that he um…he’s a dad now. And I feel so stupid because that could have been me if we kept what we had. I feel stupid because a part of me wanted it to be me.”

Calum doesn’t fully understand the ins and outs of their relationship, but four years of physical affection and a rock to lean on, that’s a lot of history. He also doesn’t fully understand how this guy didn’t make it official with Y/N. She’s the perfect best friend with a big heart.

Calum wishes he knew her in school because he would have been the one to take her to prom. He would have been the one take her to movies and dinners and surprise her with flowers. He would have made it official rather than keep her guessing.

“I’m really going through it and I don’t know how to get out,” she whispers sadly.

“I think…” Calum heaves a big sigh and kisses her wet head. “I think you’re just cracking the surface of breaking free. I can tell he meant a lot to you and you meant a lot to him. Even if he never said it, you’ll always be a part of him just like he’ll be a part of you. Someone that important won’t just poof away.”

“But I want him to, it hurts.”

“I know it does, sweetheart. I’ll help you in any way I can, okay?”

“You’re so understanding and you’re so good, but I don’t want to cry over another guy when you’re here.”

“That’s what best friends do.”

She turns her head and gazes up at him. He notices the storm in her eyes aren’t as dark, her lips are chapped from the cracking of memories she spilled out.

“Calum, you’re more than my best friend.”

He hears a deeper truth in her statement, and it causes his breathing to quicken. The subtle yet very noticeable flick of her eyes to his lips causes him to react. He gives her a quick peck, but that smallest touch sent an enormous shock through his system.

They settle against her pillows, the kiss wasn’t awkward, but it filled them both with questions. Questions that will be answered at a different time because right now he wants to hear this most vulnerable part of her life. She takes his hand in hers first and plays with his fingers while she talks.

He makes comments and asks questions to try and understand a bit more. Calum kisses her head when her voice starts to shake. Hours go by and the sky starts to lighten, birds are awakening.

“Hey,” she says right as he’s about to fall asleep. They talked all night, but she quieted down about twenty minutes.

“Hm?” he opens his eyes.

“We match.”

He looks down at their intertwined fingers when she taps on his nail. His polish is chipped away from chewing on a hangnail then smiles at the black color. He lifts their hands and kisses their knuckles.

“I feel what you feel.”

“What exactly do you feel?”

“I felt you slipping. I can sense your emotions when no one else can, and I guess I painted my nails subconsciously because I didn’t want you to be alone in the dark,” he explains. She’s quiet for a moment and he thinks she really fell asleep this time.

“Thank you. I don’t think I’ll be this bad again.”

“If you are, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”

“Cal?”

“Hmm?” he sighs. It’s getting harder to keep his eyes open, but he doesn’t want her to stop talking. He doesn’t want her out of his arms.

“When I’m dreaming tonight it will be of you.”

**

Taglist: @calpalirwin @myloverboyash @loveroflrh @cxddlyash @princesslrh @spicylftv @notinthesameguey @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sarcastically-defensive17 @another-lonely-heart @devilatmydoor @thatscooibaby @suchalonelysunflower @dead-and-golden @mymindwide @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @karajaynetoday @quasighost @i-like-5sos @creampiecashton @calpops​ @littledrummeraussie​ @sexgodashton​ @f-mu​

[pascalpanic]

Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Javier Peña x f!Reader)- Chapter Ten

Summary: you finally get to visit the boys at the embassy. You and Javier finally get to consummate the relationship.

W/C: 6k+ (I’m sorry it’s the FINALE I had to)

Warnings: language as always, mentions of injury, SMUT! (18+ only), oral (m and f receiving), overstimulation if you squint, p in v sex, Javier Peña is his own warning when it comes to sex

A/N: YOU GUYS. this is it! I’m so honored that you guys love it as much as you do. This series was originally only supposed to be a oneshot but I just fell in love. I’m so glad I get to share it with you all! BIGGEST thanks to @remmysbounty for being my Colombian culture expert in this and helping me with my spanish phrases, listening to my ramblings, and generally being my editor and idea helper.

previous chapter | epilogue

“Ana, phone for you,” Lorena calls as you walk past the nurses’ station.

You nod, but you’re carrying a tray of medicine for a patient. “Can it wait?” You ask.

Lorena asks the person and then looks back up at you. “He says it’s quick.”

Sighing, you walk behind the desk. “Will you take this tray for me? Room 429,” you ask, and she nods dutifully, walking off with it after handing the phone to you. You answer the phone with your name, sitting in the chair Lorena was just in.

“Hey, it’s Steve,” a familiar southern voice says from the other end. You panic for a moment, wondering why he called you, but his voice seems relaxed. It can’t be anything too bad.

“Hey, what’s up?” You ask, twirling the phone cord around your finger, leaning forward with your elbows on the desk.

Steve chuckles. “Not much. Just Javi bein’ a dumb fuck.”

“What’s new?” You sigh, but you both know that both of you have affection behind your teasing.

“Exactly,” Steve says in agreement. “Anyway, Javi’s back at work, as you know. The bandage he has is falling off, and he says it’s fine but I know enough from Connie to know that’s not good. She said you get off work soon, would you bring some stuff to the embassy?”

You look at the watch at your wrist. He’s right. You get off at noon, and it’s about 10 right now. “Yeah, of course. Could I bring you guys lunch too? Eat with you?”

There’s a small snort from the other end of the line. “Yeah, yeah, that sounds great. Listen, though, there’s some real shitty guys around here. You’re gonna get hit on and Peña isn’t gonna be happy about it.”

“I’ll be wearing scrubs, Steve. What is there to talk about?” You ask dryly, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Lonely and horny men desperate for an American woman aren’t above much. Just… lettin’ you know now.”

“I think I can handle it,” you roll your eyes, knowing he can hear it in your tone. “I’ll be there at 12:30 with lunch and supplies for Javi, alright?”

“Sounds good to me. Thank you, kid.”

“I’m, like, a few years younger than you. You act like you’re my dad.”

“Whatever,” he laughs and hangs up the phone.

-

After your shift, you enter Valeria’s diner. Her eyes light up as she sees you, rushing your way. “¡Ay, mi hermosita! ¿Quiubo, chiquita?” She asks, grabbing your arms.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you tell her genuinely with a smile. “I didn’t know if… the bombing, if it affected you. I’m so glad it didn’t.”

“And me with you! Especially that Javier, dios mio,” she shakes her head.

“Actually...” you chuckle a little. It’s a nervous laugh, afraid to tell her what happened. “Javi was injured. He and his partner were very near the bomb. He’s okay now, but he lost a lot of blood and had to have emergency surgery. He’s got a big scar here,” you tell her and trace along your abdomen where his injury was. “He’s back at work already, but he spent a few days in the hospital and about a week or two at home.”

Valeria frowns. “Oh no. I’m glad he‘s alright now. I worried so much about him, but I figured he lived since there were no American casualties.”

You nod. “Exactly. I’m actually on my way to the embassy now, bringing him some bandages, and I wanted to pick up lunch for him and his partner.”

The woman claps her hands together excitedly. “And here I am, blabbering on! I’ll go get an order in for you. What would you like, dear?”

You put in an order that you figure Javi and Steve would both like, waiting contently at a booth Valeria seats you at and sipping a coffee she brought to you.

The little restaurant makes you smile as you think about the memories. Laughing with Javier for hours in the early morning, sharing life stories and experiences. You realize now that you think you loved Javier even then, on the night when you sat a few booths over, wrapped in his leather jacket while his mustache collected little grains of sugar and cinnamon.

Not long after, Valeria comes to your table with two large bags of food. “I couldn’t help myself- I threw a few extra desserts and snacks in. Javier needs to eat more, tell him that I said that and that’s why there’s so much.”

You laugh happily and stand. “Well, thank you. I’ll make sure to pass the message along.”

She takes your payment and hands you a large to-go cup of coffee- you deserve it after such a long shift, she tells you- before sending you on your way. The embassy is a distance away, and you hail a taxi to make your way there. The car fills with the scent of the fresh food, making your stomach rumble. When you arrive, you pay the driver and head inside.

A receptionist sits just inside. “May I help you?” She asks politely and without much interest.

“Uh….” you hadn’t expected this step. “Yes. I’m here for Agents Murphy and Peña?”

She nods, grabbing the phone. She dials a number and talks, making a face of annoyance as she switches to speaking English. She must’ve dialed Steve. She hangs up not long after. “Murphy will be here in a moment,” she tells you with a nod, and you back away to allow the next person to talk with her.

Steve finds you about a minute later. “Hey. That’s a lot of food,” he chuckles as he looks at the large bags you’re carrying.

“I went to Javier’s favorite place. This one waitress there absolutely adores him, so she gave me extra because he doesn’t eat enough,” you inform him with a smile. “She even threw in some free desserts.”

“Jesus. We could feed the whole embassy with those,” he shakes his head, taking one from you to lighten your load.

You walk through hallways and several sets of stairs, before entering the office area and finally reaching the two desks, one messy and one neat. Javier sits at the cluttered one, looking up and eyes lighting as he sees you. “Hey,” he laughs and even dares to smile: a rare sight when he’s at work. “What are you doing here?” He asks, rolling his chair back from his desk and taking your hand.

“Steve said you needed bandages,” you shrug and hold up one of the bags.

He gives him a dirty look and the blonde man simply shrugs, sitting at his own desk.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here. What’s all this then?” He asks, referring to the bags you and Steve carry.

You set one on a free space in his desk and untie the top of the bag, setting a takeout container in front of him. “Lunch,” you say simply, opening the styrofoam to release a drift of a delicious smell.

Javier sighs at the scent. “Did you see Valeria then? Is that why there’s so much food?” He asks with a little laugh.

You nod. “Exactly.”

Javier sighs and grabs a fork from the bag. “Here,” he says, pulling you to sit on one of his thighs. You squeal at the movement, laughing and grabbing the desk once you’re seated.

“At least warn me, huh?” You laugh and he steals a quick kiss from you, earning a whistle from a man who walks past.

“Wow, Peña has moved on from fucking the informants,” the man chuckles. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

You both glare at him, though he finds yours more intimidating than Javier’s. “Mm, we’re projecting our sexual frustration, are we?” You ask, taking a bite of food in your mouth with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry about us, run on home to the wife who doesn’t want your dick anywhere near her,” you say with a sweet smile, turning back to Javier’s desk and sipping your coffee.

The man walks away with wide eyes and Murphy laughs genuinely. “Holy shit,” he shakes his head and smiles.

“What? It’s clearly true,” you chuckle, looking back at Javier and taking another bite of the food in front of you. He’s got his heart in his eyes, barely managing to hold back a grin.

“I fucking love you,” Javi laughs contently, waiting you to finish chewing. When you do, he kisses you passionately for a moment, releasing you a few seconds later.

“You got some observational skills, kid,” Steve snorts and shoves a bite of food in his face. “We should get you working here.”

You roll your eyes. “What is your thing with calling everyone kid, Murphy?” Javier laughs, and you nod enthusiastically. You were just about to ask the same thing.

Steve opens his mouth to answer but the phone on Javier’s desk rings. “Peña.” He makes several noises of agreement before hanging up a few moments later. “Trujillo needs something. Be right back,” he tells the both of you and presses a kiss to your head. You stand to allow him to, and he kisses your lips quickly before speed-walking up the steps from the bullpen area and out to somewhere else.

You sit back down and both you and Steve continue eating your food. A minute or so later, a woman walks past but stops as she sees you. “Oh my God, Steve, is this Connie?” she asks, leaning against his desk.

“No, this is Peña’s girlfriend. She and Connie work together,” he informs her. Her face sours at the word girlfriend.

You tell the woman your name and shake her hand with a smile. “Peña has a girlfriend? My god,” she laughs lightly. Javier walks back down to his desk and the woman’s eyes light up. You stand so he can sit again. “Javier Peña, all settled down.”

“I don’t know about that,” he chuckles and sits, pulling you back onto his lap. You squeal again at the sudden movement, more so for the amusement of the woman in front of you. Laughing, you steady yourself on his desk. “Javi, warm a girl!” You chuckle, turning around to kiss him quickly. You’d discovered recently that you couldn’t get enough of it now that you were allowed to do it.

The woman shakes her head and chuckles as she walks away, heels clacking on the tile floor of the embassy.

Steve rolls her eyes. “Ah, Carolina. Last woman at the embassy Javi hasn’t fucked, and she’s been going after him for months.”

“Bullshit,” you and Javier say at the same time, laughing and turning around to face him, raising an eyebrow. “Bullshit to the fact that she’s the last woman here I haven’t fucked. Yeah, she’s been all over me,” he admits and nods.

“Well that’s too damn bad for her, isn’t it?” You laugh and offer Javier your cup of coffee.

He takes a swig and sighs. “Goddamn, this stuff tastes good. The coffee here is shit. We really need to do something about that,” he says to Steve, earning a shrug in response as he forks more food into his mouth.

The three of you eat in content silence, Javier keeping one arm wrapped around you as he eats. Steve flips through a file as he munches on his food too.

A couple of minutes later, a stone-faced bald man in army green fatigues walks. He raises an eyebrow as he sees you sitting on Javier’s lap.

You bite the bullet and introduce yourself first, telling him your name and offering a hand to shake. “Javier’s girlfriend.”

Javier chuckles at the man’s confused expression. “Yeah. Ángel, this is Trujillo. We work closely with him and his men. What else do you need?” He asks the man, turning the chair toward him.

“It can wait, I suppose, until after lunch. Wonderful to meet you, ma’am,” Trujillo says before walking off.

Javier shakes his head. “Now I see why the two of you can’t get shit done around here,” you tease and kiss the side of Javi’s head with a smile before taking the last bite of your food.

Not long after, the two men finish eating too. You stand from Javi’s desk. “Walk me out?” You ask him softly, and he nods. “I’ll see you later, Steve. Thanks for the invite,” you chuckle, taking Javier’s hand once you’re both standing.

As you walk through the halls, Javier is smiling. It’s a rare occurrence around the embassy, enough to draw stares. You smile proudly, lacing your fingers together as you walk. “So, Superman. I have a proposal,” you offer, looking up at him with big eyes.

“Shoot.”

“You get off work around six?”

“Sure do.”

“And I don’t work tonight.”

Javier chuckles as he looks down at you. “Where is this going, hm?”

You shrug a little. “All I hear about is how good you are in bed. How good of a lover you are,” you ask, looking up at him with a smirk. “Why don’t you prove it to me tonight, hm?” You ask, fingers tracing the seam where his buttons hold his tight shirt together- just barely.

“Oh god, cariño,” he murmurs. “I don’t know if my body is up to it yet, with the incision and-“

“I’m a nurse, Javi. Your nurse. I know medically that you’re stable by now. As long as it isn’t painful for you, we’re safe,” you tell him with a growing smile. “It’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?” You ask in a low voice, your hand sliding across the bare ‘v’ of his chest, exposed by his low-cut shirt.

“Yeah, it has.” Javier licks his lips as he looks down at you, a growing smile. “Your place. Sound good?”

“I’ve been waiting for this,” you admit with an excited grin, placing a kiss to his cheek as you reach the door. “You bring the protection,” you murmur next to his ear before kissing him softly on the lips. You break away and smile at his dazed face. “I’ll see you tonight. I love you,” You tell him and squeeze his hand.

“Fuck, I love you too, ángel,” Javi smiles and kisses your forehead, opening the door for you. “See you then.”

-

Six o’clock rolls around. You know Javier won’t come right from work, but you wait excitedly anyway. You treated yourself to a long hot shower, cleaning up and waiting. You’re dressed in a wrap dress and nothing else, waiting on the couch and trying to distract yourself with reruns of a telenovela. A bottle of whiskey and two glasses sit on your counter.

Surprisingly, a knock comes at your door around 6:15. You shout for them to enter and it’s Javier. “I thought you didn’t get off until 6:00,” you smirk a little as you look at him, closing the door behind himself.

“Steve covered for me. I left at 5, went home and showered, changed bandages and everything,” he chuckles, locking the door.

You smile and stand, walking over to him and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “How kind of him,” you chuckle softly, an arm around his waist. “Listen, I thought about it. If you’re still in pain, this can totally wait,” you offer, looking up at him with big and concerned eyes.

“I’ve wanted this from the moment I met you, ángel,” he murmurs, putting both hands on your waist. “Nothing could hold me back now.”

You throw your arms around his neck as Javier’s lips crash against yours, in a deep kiss that wastes no time. You make a soft noise of content against his lips and that spurs him on, his hands roaming all across your body. He breaks away, eyes wild and lips swollen already. “How many times have you cum in one night?” He asks, smirking.

You can’t help but moan in response, kissing him again deeply, your mouth exploring his. He breaks away again. “Answer.”

“Uh… three. On my own. Only once with someone else,” you tell him breathlessly, your brain so wrapped up in him that it’s difficult to think about anything other than him.

“Alright, then four’s the goal,” he chuckles, kissing you deeply and pulling your hips against his. His hands grope your ass and you moan softly.

It’s already the best you’ve ever had and he hasn’t even touched you. The passion and love you have for each other is evident in how deep and intense every little movement is, from the way you drag your nails down the back of his neck to the way he smooths his hands over the curve of your ass, feeling no panties beneath the dress. “Fuck,” he murmurs into your lips.

“My bedroom, please,” you whine, breaking away from him.

He nods, glancing in the direction of the hallway that leads to your room. He catches sight of the bottle of whiskey. “What was that for?” He asks, breathlessly chuckling.

“Confidence,” you admit with a laugh. “Don’t know why I thought I needed it. Not with you.”

“Well, it’ll go perfectly with cuddling in your bed after, hm?” He murmurs, kissing behind your ear. You sigh softly at the feeling and he walks you along to your bedroom, backwards, until you feel the backs of your legs pressed against your bed. “Let’s see what’s under here,” he mumbles breathlessly, kissing at your neck as he frantically fumbles to untie the knot around your waist that holds the wrap dress in place. He’s clearly experienced at removing all kinds of clothing, and you can feel your arousal starting to slide down to your upper thighs.

“Javi,” you whimper, and he swears he’s never heard anything sweeter.

“Oh fuck, dulzura,” he shudders at the way you sound, lifting his head and catching your lips in another intense kiss as he slips the dress off of your shoulders and it falls to the floor. “No bra, no panties,” he chuckles as he looks down, finding your exposed body. “Let’s begin, shall we?” He mumbles, his lips trailing from behind your ear to your neck to your collarbone to between your breasts.

“Please,” you whimper and Javier pushes you to lie down on the edge of the bed, sinking to his knees and spreading your legs. “Javi,” you mumble, gripping your breasts.

He looks up at you and swears he could cum in his pants right now, just from the way you look spread out for him. You’re already dripping and he bites his lip as he takes a long look at you. “Fuck, ángel,” he says with a shudder, unbuttoning his shirt quickly. “Play with your tits for me,” he commands as he slips the shirt off his shoulders, revealing his toned chest and the large gauze bandage covering part of his equally muscular abdomen.

You nod, though it doesn’t do much at this angle, and he finally gives in. His last bit of self control leaves his body as he licks a long stripe from your entrance to your clit, moaning into you at the way you taste. You whimper and your hips squirm softly before Javier brings a large hand up, pinning you down. “Javi… go slow, please,” you murmur. “It’s… been a while.”

He nods. “I’ll do anything you tell me to,” he breathes out, dark eyes even darker with his widened pupils. He’s just as entranced by you as he was by those heavy drugs in the hospital, his mind foggy from the way you taste. His nose nudges at your clit, causing you to make a soft noise. Javier slips a thick finger inside of you, shuddering at the way your walls flutter around it. “God, that’s gonna feel so good around my dick,” he mumbles, slipping in a second finger and lapping at your clit.

“Fuck,” you whimper as he curves his fingers inside of you, one hand sliding into that dark hair, gripping it. “I lied. You don’t have to go slow, do whatever you want to me,” you shiver and whine out, bucking your hips up only for Javier’s hand to push them back down.

“Patience,” he mumbles, latching onto your most sensitive spot and sucking on it softly. His fingers push in a little deeper and curve against a spot you’ve never been able to reach yourself, wishing you had him to do it. You knew he would, with his reputation. Of course he would. He already feels like he knows every inch of your body, every sensitive little spot he can stroke to drive you wild. You squeal softly at the movement, your back arching. He smirks but continues, not bothering to stop and comment.

You’re already close, and it’s driving you wild, the other hand clutching at the comforter beneath you. “Not gonna last. Feels so good,” you murmur to him, almost ashamed at how quickly he’s going to make you reach your peak.

“Yeah? Tell me about it,” he mumbles into you, his eyes closing in concentration as his tongue works hard against your clit.

“Thought about this all the time. My fingers couldn’t get anywhere near as deep as yours, Javi,” you coo, brow furrowing. “Just wanted you inside of me, doing this to me. I thought about it every night since I met you,” you whimper. “Nowhere near as good- fuck, I’m about to-” you groan but it’s cut off as your orgasm washes over you, making your legs shake and your thighs clench around his head.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” the word tumbles from your mouth over and over again as it washes over you. After you come down, there’s a delicious oversensitivity inside of you. Javier doesn’t let up. “Javi,” you murmur softly.

“Gonna get another out of you, ángel,” he murmurs for a moment before going back with renewed intensity. You thought it was perfect before, but the way he continues now allows you to feel every bud on his tongue, every line in his fingerprints inside of you, the way his fingers move at slightly different speeds as they drag against that spot deep inside of you.

Only a few moments pass before you’re there again, whining out his name as you feel something warm gush from deep within you. It’s all too good, all too much, feels like an electric wire threaded through your limbs and core. “Javi,” you shudder as you finally come to your senses. “I- uh, did I just-” you say, eyes widening as you see the damp spot beneath you.

“You sure fucking did,” he smirks, removing his fingers from inside of you and sucking on the two slick digits.

“I’ve never done that,” you admit, biting your lip.

“It means I’m doing something right,” he chuckles a little, sitting up to kiss you softly, slowly. You can taste yourself on his lips and it makes you moan as his tongue probes your mouth ever so gently. “It’s all good, baby. Wanna see if I can make you do that again?” He asks, a cocky grin on his face. “You were promised four.”

You shudder softly, hands on his shoulders. “I was,” you chuckle with the little oxygen left in your lungs. “What do you say…” you trail off, reaching between the two of you and palming at his denim-covered erection, “I take care of you, you get one more out of me, and then we finally fuck, hm?” you ask, recovering your senses.

“How could I say no to that?” he murmurs, kissing you deeply again. You squeeze softly at the bulge, and he makes a soft noise in the back of his throat. “How- I, what do-”

“Lie down up there,” you tell him and nod toward the pillows. When you stand, you tear the comforter off of your bed and toss it aside. “We’ll just have to sleep without that tonight.” He raises an eyebrow. “You are staying the night, right?” You ask, suddenly taken aback.

He nods quickly. “Yeah, yeah.” He pushes down his jeans and boxers and his dick springs free. He’s huge, not overly long but very thick, and you bite down on your lip to hold back a smirk. “Oh, you like this?” he chuckles a little, lying down with his arms above his head.

“Fuck,” you laugh softly, already imagining how he’ll feel inside. “Yeah, I do,” you nod and crawl onto the bed, lying down on your stomach between his spread legs.

You slowly trace a stripe along the underside of him, paying special attention to the frenulum and noticing the way his leg jerks beneath you. Adjusting yourself, you make big eyes up at him as you suck on the head, tracing the tip of your tongue against the little spot. “Fuck, you’re gonna have me cumming in seconds,” he laughs breathlessly. “You’re fucking amazing, baby,” he mumbles, his eyes slipping shut at the feeling. “Wait, stop, stop.”

You do exactly that, looking up at him with wide questioning eyes. “Yeah?”

Javier takes a deep breath and smirks. “You can make me cum with your mouth another time. I want this to be about you. Get up here and sit on my face.”

The boldness of his words makes your mouth fall open into a soft o-shape. You’ve certainly never done that before, but the idea is interesting. “It’ll be good, I promise. I already made you cum twice with my mouth, you know that,” he chuckles, stroking the side of your face.

“But…” Javier is much more experienced than you, you know that, so it must be fine, but there’s a little nagging insecurity inside of you. “What if I squirt again and, like, drown you?” you ask shyly.

Javier looks at you for a second before laughing softly. “No, it won’t. Come here, I can prove it to you if you’d like,” he offers, pushing a wisp of your hair back. The fact that you’re less experienced makes him even harder, if that’s physically possible, and you can feel it in your hand. He wants to do this, and that reassures you. You gulp and nod. “That’s my good girl,” Javi mumbles darkly.

You shudder at his words, your skin prickling. He can feel it. “Oh, you like that,” he murmurs. He scoots to lie flat on his back on the bed. “Come on up here, baby,” he says softly, and you agree.

You straddle his legs and gradually make your way over his body, careful to lift your hips as you pass over the incision. You’re hovering above his chest, looking down at him with the question in your eyes. “What if I like, crush your head?” You murmur and bite your lip.

“If you don’t want to, we won’t,” he mumbles, stroking your thigh. “Do you want to?” he asks.

“Yes,” you nod shyly. You’re not used to being this open about your wants.

“Then let me take care of you,” he murmurs, hands on your hips and pulling you gently. Inviting you onto his waiting lips.

You slide your hips the rest of the way and moan as his tongue finds your clit almost immediately. He moans back, entranced by you already. He puts on a bit more of a show, making loud noises and digging his fingers into your ass. He murmurs something into you but it’s lost in your folds as he lavishes your clit with his attention.

“Okay, I like this,” you admit with a breathless chuckle, moaning at the way his tongue works against you, his mustache tickles you, his nose nudges your clit when his tongue is elsewhere. You’re still hyper-sensitive from earlier, and you can tell. Your orgasm approaches rapidly, faster than it has ever before. You fall slightly forward, bracing yourself against the headboard as the tingling sensation builds.

“Gonna cum,” you warn him, panting heavily, your hands gripping the headboard tight. He makes a noise of approval and the vibrations from it cause you to let go, practically wailing his name. Your toes curl in pleasure, whimpering as it pulses through your body. It leaks from you before you can notice it, squirting into Javier’s mouth. He swallows every last bit of it, moaning at the way you taste.

Javier’s been so patient with you, putting everything about you first. He continues to eat you out as you come down from it. Eventually, you lift your hips, kneeling with your still-dripping pussy over his face. “You gonna fuck me now?” you ask, barely any air in your voice.

“Oh God yeah,” he chuckles, pressing one last kiss to your clit before pushing you over to lie next to him.

“Javi!” You squeal out with a laugh, falling next to him, his face by your legs. You’re giggling as you look over at him, hands on your bare stomach. “What if I would’ve landed on you and hit the incision?” you chide, though you both know it’s joking.

“It’d be worth it,” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to your knee. He stands with a groan, cracking his neck and grabbing the condom from the pocket of his jeans. He opens it and rolls it over his leaking dick, and you smirk as you look at it, adjusting yourself back where he was lying.

“You sure this’ll be okay with the abs?” you ask him as he walks back to your side, your fingers ghosting over the gauze-covered incision.

He nods. “Yeah. You ready?” He asks, a hand cupping your face to look up at him.

“I’m waiting on the fourth,” you tease, giving his dick a gentle tug and earning a groan. “Now get on top of me and fuck me, Superman,” you say with a seductive smile, licking your lips.

“Yes ma’am,” he mumbles softly, propping his arms up on either side of you and nestling his hips between your legs. You can feel his dick pressing against your folds, and you grind your hips up into his. He moans, shivering hard. “Oh fuck. You better know it’s not gonna take long,” he tells you. “Fuckin’ dreamed about this for so long. First time I saw those tits bouncing on the treadmill, your ass when you were doing those squats,” he admits, hand running up your side and pinching a nipple as he finally admires your bare body beneath him.

“Get poetic later, get inside me now,” you beg of him, leaning up and kissing him deeply. He paws at a tit and you whine into his lips, harder when he rolls a nipple between two fingers. “Don’t tease,” you plead, spreading your legs wider.

He finally slides in and swears he’s seeing stars from the second the head is past your entrance. He groans out before he can stop himself, and you involuntarily make a matching sound. “Javier,” you cry, the way he stretches you making your already dripping pussy even wetter.

He nods. “Yeah baby,” he mumbles next to your ear.

“Start moving, I’m ready, come on,” you urge, nipping at his earlobe that dangles just above your lips. He shivers at the feeling and nods, pulling out and pushing back in. The first thrust and he’s already holding back.

He moans your name quietly, starting a slow but steady rhythm, pounding in and out of you. He looks down and bites his lip as he sees the way your tits jiggle with his thrusts. “Oh, ángel,” he groans. You bend up and kiss at his neck, daring to work a mark into the skin. “Yeah, that’s my girl, marking me up. Want that girl at the embassy to see it when I’m at work tomorrow, don’t you?” he grunts, breathing heavily already.

“All mine, no one else’s.”

“All yours, baby,” he nods, thrusting harder. “Give ‘em something to talk about, mark me up,” he groans, his eyes almost rolling back in his head from the feeling. You nod, leaving love bites and hickeys all over the smooth skin of his neck, the skin that smells like aftershave and soap and cigarettes and his sweat.

He reaches a hand between the two of you and rubs circles into your clit in time with the thrusts. “Oh, fuck do I love you, baby,” he groans. “You gonna come again?”

You’re embarrassingly close already, and the fact that he can tell is even hotter. “Yeah,” you whine into the thick column of his neck.

“Good girl, gonna squirt around me?”

“Yeah,” you whimper again, hips grinding against his hand. “Love you so much, Javi.”

“Love you too. Go for it, baby. Do it,” he asks of you, and who are you to deny him of the sensation in the moment? You stop holding back, your walls fluttering around him and your pussy leaking as your whole body tenses.

“Javi,” you cry into his ear, clinging to the back of his head and pulling him down to where you’re now lying flat, limp as a rag doll from his ministrations.

“That’s my girl,” he coos in his gravelly voice, biting down on his lip. “So good, fuck, love you baby,” he grunts in time with sporadic thrusts as he finally spills into the condom, an animalistic cry coming from his throat.

His thrusts slow and he gradually pulls out of you, lying down and pulling you into his side. “Would you believe me if I said that’s the best I’ve ever had?” He pants out, kissing the side of your head.

You drape an arm across him. “It’d be an honor,” you chuckle softly.

“It was,” he tells you honestly, this time kissing your lips. “God, I fucking love you,” he tells you with a dazed smile, eyes slipping shut.

He’s so sexy like this, sweat beaded on his forehead and dark hair stuck to it. He’s fucking beautiful is what he is, like a work of art with those swollen lips and the developing bruises on his neck. He’s your personal masterpiece. You’ve done all of those things to him, made him fill that condom, hell, you put those stitches in yourself before he left the hospital. He’s fully and truly yours. “I love you too, Javi,” you tell him, pressing your lips together in a smile as your eyes water.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks quickly as his eyes open.

“I just love you so much,” you admit with a watery voice. “That was the best I’ve ever felt, and you let me ask stupid questions, and you did this all even though I thought you were gonna bleed out in my arms a couple of weeks ago.” You bury your face where his chest meets his arm, the tears freely running.

“Ángel,” he coos and kisses your head. “You are the entire world, you know that? You saved my fucking life, not just from the shrapnel. I would’ve drank and smoked and worked myself to death if you didn’t come in.”

“And I would’ve died from that cold,” you add with a weak giggle.

“And you would’ve died from that cold,” he chuckles and lifts your head. “I love you so much. No solo como te quiero, como te amo.”

There’s a difference in the way Spanish speakers say “I love you” that native English speakers cannot understand. We say I love you to our dogs, to our partners, to our sisters and parents and to our lovers and spouses. It’s all the same way to say it: I love you. In Spanish, there is te quiero and te amo. Javier might say te quiero to his father, to Connie when she brings him food during a rough hangover. Never in his life has the man said te amo and meant it. Not to Lorraine, not to any girl he ever held in his arms as he pounded her senseless. Never, except to you.

And you can feel it in the way he presses a tender kiss to your face, in the way a tear drips from his eye and onto your forehead. He loves you in the way that inspired the greatest artists to write sonnets and plays and make beautiful art, the way that Escobar would do anything, would kill for his beloved Tata, the way Romeo and Juliet loved and fell hard and didn’t care about the repercussions and died for love of each other.

“Javi,” you coo, looking into his big brown eyes that are brimming with tears. “Te amo también, te amo, y nunca lo olvides.”

thanks for reading!

-

translations:

quiubo- what’s happening, what’s up

Chiquita- girl, girlfriend

dulzura- sweetheart

Y nunca lo olvides- and don’t you ever forget it.

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers @diogodxlot @wonderlandgabby @yooforia @sara-alonso @dodgerandevans @pedrosmustache @apascalrascal @tanyaherondale @marydjarin @obsessivelysearching @sleep-tight1 @drinkingwhileblogging @pedro-pastel @notabotiswear @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan

[sgtbradfords]

I have a Chenford prompt for you.

Lucy gets up the nerve to ask Tim to be her partner. Tim refuses but doesn't give a real reason. Ultimately he has to confess his feelings because he knows he hurt her.

I do apologize for such the long wait, but I hope this does your prompt justice! Enjoy! :)

Lucy Chen needed to find a new partner. Nolan had finally graduated from being a boot to a P2, leaving probation and Sergeant Grey had made the decision to partner John with Jackson in hopes of making the transition smoother. He had also appointed Lucy to work as a one man show. She knew the opportunity to work solo for any officer was always there and would always be there, but she also had her reasons for wanting to have someone sitting in the passenger seat two feet away from her.

Her week of riding solo was exciting but also nerve-wracking, the doubts that maybe she wasn’t ready for this lingered in the back of her mind every morning, as she moved to sit behind the wheel of the shop. The shifts went by smoothly, but she found being by herself to be desolate, having no one to talk to or no one getting upset when she messed with the knobs of the air conditioning.

Soon, the number of shifts and off days had accumulated into over a month and to put it simply, she was miserable being by herself, which she brought up the following week when she met Jackson and Nolan for lunch.

“Why don’t you ask Bradford? He doesn’t have a boot right now.”

Lucy hesitated before speaking, playing with the fork in her hand as she pushed a piece of lettuce around the bowl. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“You wouldn’t know unless you ask.” John pointed out as he observed his friend that sat across from him.

“It’s just…” she paused. “I don’t want to work alone. After everything that happened with Caleb and Rosalind and then going undercover a few months back. I really don’t want to work alone.”

Jackson and Nolan shared a look before Jackson took the opportunity to speak. “Lucy, why didn’t you say anything? When we get back, I’ll go talk to Grey and-“

“No! This is something that I need to do.”

Jackson changed the topic, showing his friends the picture Angela sent him earlier that morning of the baby smiling in their sleep as their lunch break ended, the officers returning to their respective shops. All too soon the numbers of the clock on the dash rolled to six o’clock, Lucy parking the shop back in between the white lines in the garage, removing her things before she returned her war bag and long gun. She made her way to the locker room, changing back into her civilian clothing, securing her off-duty weapon into the holster attached to the side of her jeans before grabbing her bag and heading out.

“Hey.” She heard someone greet as she walked across the parking garage, the person joining her by her side putting a smile on her face.

“Hey. I heard you had a fun day.”

The person grumbled, “Never thought I would be running out of a house full of bats before ten.”

“I just hate that I wasn’t there to witness Tim Bradford running away. I bet that had you regretting not taking that Sergeant position.” She teased as they approached her car, Lucy shaking her head at the sight of his truck next to hers.

“You’ll never get your hands on the vest footage Lucy.” He glared before his face softened. “I’ll never regret turning that position down. I kept my word, didn’t I?”

“That you did.” She smiled, readjusting the bag on her shoulder as she stopped at the rear of her car. “I’m actually glad that I caught you, I have a question I need to ask.”

Tim turned, leaning his back against the panel of his truck as he waited.

“I was wondering if we could possibly partner up. With Grey partnering Jackson and Nolan, I discovered that I don’t like working by myself, and I know that probably makes me look weak but I feel like-“

He stared her down as she rambled, her words threatening the sides of his mouth to turn upward as he fought back a smile.

“That doesn’t make you weak Lucy.”

“Maybe not to you but to someone else…” She sighed, turning her head to look away.

“Screw what other people think, they don’t know what we’ve-“ He stopped, shaking his head as he unconsciously took a step forward. “Their opinions shouldn’t matter.”

“But they do.” She told him honestly. “So, think you can handle working with me again?”

Tim took a moment to look her in the eyes before looking away, Lucy watching as something flickered behind his eyes before it disappeared.

“I can’t.”

Lucy took a step forward, her brow furrowed as she gently let go of the bag on her shoulder, the bag hitting the concrete. “Why not?”

“I can’t Lucy.” He said to her sternly.

“You’re not my TO Tim, you can cut the attitude.” She challenged before pushing the question once again. “Why not?”

He took a step forward, his arms crossing over his chest as his demeanor changed. “I may no longer be your training officer, Officer Chen but I am still your superior.” He told her, his tone laced with warning with every word he spoke.

“Respectfully sir, I deserve an answer.”

“One that I don’t have to give you.”

Lucy’s eyes searched his before she took a few steps back, turning around as she crouched down to pick her bag up off the ground. “You know I-“ She started as she turned back around to face him, adjusting the weight of the bag on her shoulder before thinking better of it. “Have a great evening, Officer Bradford.”

Tim watched as she got into her car, slamming the car door shut as she turned over the engine. Lucy sat behind the wheel, taking a deep breath before shifting the car into reverse and then into drive, leaving the parking garage. She couldn’t believe him, she thought to herself as she pulled off the highway and into a parking lot, steering her car towards the drive-thru of a sandwich joint. She ordered, messaging Jackson about the failure that was her evening as she waited for her food.

Twenty minutes later, her emotions had calmed down as she stepped onto the elevator of her apartment building. He was being unreasonable, she had decided as she chased the straw of the drink in her right hand, taking a sip as the bag of food on her right wrist swung freely. The thumb of her left hand scrolling through the social media feed on the phone as the elevator jolted to a stop on her floor. The heavy metal doors opened, allowing her passage as she stepped off the car, pocketing her phone as she pulled the keyring from around her left index finger.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” She cursed in disbelief as she rounded the corner. “Talk about someone second guessing themselves.”

Tim looked up from where he stood beside her front door with his arms crossed, listening to her mumble, as the sound of heeled boots he knew could only belong to one person walked across the hardwood flooring of the narrow hallway.

“Unless you’re here to give me a damn good reason Bradford, I suggest you leave.” She told him as she stood a distance away from him, sliding her key into the deadbolt.

“I’m sorry Lucy.”

Lucy snorted, rolling her eyes as she removed the key, inserting it into the lock on the handle, turning the key left as the knob turned, opening the door. “If it makes you feel any better, your apology is somewhat accepted. But that still doesn’t give me a reason as to why, you are refusing to work with me.” She told him as she stepped through the threshold, placing her bags onto the kitchen island, pulling out the cardboard container that held her sandwich, the soft click of the door quietly shutting behind her telling her that her company had followed.

Tim walked further into the apartment, only stopping once he was across from her, the quartz countertop keeping the two separated. His mouth opened and closed as the words that were on the tip of his tongue failed to convey.

Lucy proceeded to ignore him as she moved around the kitchen, grabbing a plate out of the cabinet as she placed her sandwich and fries onto the dish, grabbing the handful of condiment packets out of the takeout bag. She grabbed the plate of food, walking past Tim and towards the couch.

“I love you.”

Lucy froze mid-step at the whispered confession, her heart accelerating as she waited with bated breath for him to continue.

“I have fallen in love with you Lucy Chen and I- I can’t be your partner, not in that sense.” He told her, glancing at her over his shoulder as he spoke, their backs still to each other as he turned around. “Out of everything that I have been through, this, loving you, scares the shit out of me.”

“You’re just saying that.” She whispered with glossy eyes, as she placed the plate in her hand down onto the coffee table, refusing to turn her body around.

Tim took a step forward, his hand reaching out to gently grasp the crease of her elbow. “I’m not. I look at you, and you’re home.”

Lucy hesitantly turned, his hand falling away as her gaze found his.

“I’m not just saying it, I mean it Luce. I love you.” He told her, enunciating those three words as he took a small step forward, lowering his forehead to rest against hers. “You have annoyed me more than I ever thought was possible, but I love you and I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”

Lucy could feel his uttered confession against her lips as her nose brushed against his, her hand pressing against his chest as she moved to stand on the tips of her toes. Her lips feathered against his, their breaths mixing as she took the final step. His lips were soft against hers, a hand tentatively wrapping an arm around the small of her back as Lucy’s hand crept away from his chest and towards the back of his neck, fingers carding through the short strands of dirty blonde hair as she attempted to pull him further into her.

The touches from fingertips were gentle and light as they tested the bounds of this new development, mouths opening under the tongue of the other as the soft kiss soon turned fervent and quickly spiraled out of control.

Lucy moaned into his mouth as the hand around her waist began to drift lower, her fingers curling into the stands of hair at the nape of his neck, her lungs protesting for air as he abandoned her kiss swollen lips.

“Is that a good enough reason?” He exhaled as he looked at the woman standing in his arms, a trance-like look on her face as she pulled back ever so slightly, to catch her breath.

“What?” she asked, shaking her head.

Tim smirked. “You asked for a damn good reason for me being here.”

“You know, I don’t know… Maybe we should discuss this some more.” She smiled as she used the hand on the back of his neck to pull him back towards her.

“That,” He whispered against her lips. “Sound like a good idea.”

[soundsgoodfeelslikeshit]

Fights and Waves

Summary: JJ and Y/N have been fighting constantly and JJ finally decides to end it. Will John B be able to bring Y/N back to the group? Will JJ and Y/N be able to fix the relationship with each other and get back together? 

A/N: If enough people like this I can do a part two. This was in my drafts for a pretty long time and I finally decided to finish it. Lmk if you want a part two. 

“JJ, stop. Not tonight, I can’t do this tonight.” You mumbled as you rubbed your hands together. You had gotten off a tough shift and the last thing you wanted to be doing was going head to head with JJ in another argument. 

“Why not? We can’t keep pushing shit under the rug!” JJ said raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Babe, I’m tired, you look tired, and I’m sure the Pogues would rather not hear another fight.” 

“Well maybe if you would tell me what was going on with you, I haven’t heard from you in three days! You just show up here like nothing happened. I get it you have your episodes, but I was worried. Where were you?” JJ pushed. 

“I was working, my phone has been off for the past few days. I needed some quality me time. It was nothing personal and you know that.” You mumbled, rubbing your sore, aching back. 

“Yeah, yeah. Nothing personal whatever! I’m your boyfriend. If you can’t let me know what’s happening maybe we shouldn’t be together, hmm, what do you think about that?!” JJ screamed. 

“I think you’re being dramatic, it isn’t that serious Bub.” You said taking a step to him. 

“No, you don’t need to come closer. We’re done.” He said stepping out of the Chateau, while slamming the door. 

You sighed, and ran your fingers through your hair. This had been a recurring thing, every fight JJ would leave. This time it was different, he ended things. You watched with tears in your tired eyes as he sped away on his bike. 

You decided to just call it a night and went to head towards your car. 

“Y/N, hey where you going?” John B yelled. 

“I’m going to head home, just not feeling too well today.” 

“Where’d JJ go?” Kie asked. 

“None of my concern anymore, I guess.” You mumbled wiping another tear. 

“Hey, wait what?” Pope questioned as you shut your door. 

“I’ll see you guys when I see you, but JJ will always need you guys more just like you’ll always need him more.” You smiled sadly and drove off. 

................................................................................................................................ 

It had been weeks of the pogues trying to meet up with you and trying to call or text, but all of their attempts were left unanswered. 

You’d started working more at a new shop that opened up and they of course never shopped there since they’d prefer to get their surf gear from a local shop and not a corporate one. You quit the wreck and apologized to Kie’s parents. You changed your number so you didn’t have to feel guilty about the numerous messages you were ignoring, but your hopes for the guilt to go away were unanswered it was still very much there. 

“Hey, Y/N. There’s some people here to see you.” Your mom said as she opened your door slightly. 

“I’m not feeling too well, can you have them come by another day?” You questioned as you rubbed your eyes. 

“I’ll let them know.” She said smiling sadly. 

You stared at the picture of you and the Pogues and threw it on the ground. No need for it to be on your bedside table anymore. 

Your bedroom door opening startled you and looked up with wide eyes at John B. 

“Hey it’s just me.” He said softly. 

“I’m not feeling well.” You mumbled looking away. 

“Y/N you’re like my sister. I know you. You’re not sick, you’re sad.” He said as he sat next to your frame. 

“JB I can’t, JJ needs you.” You said with a break in your voice. 

“I think you need me more.” 

You looked at him with tears in your eyes as he pulled you into a hug. 

“I-I can’t. I’m so sorry.” You sobbed.  

“Shh, let us in. You can’t block us out forever.” 

“I love J, I just can’t end up like my mom and my dad. They constantly fought, dad turned abusive, left and felt a better family. I can’t do that with him! JB I can’t!” You said through hysterics. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” he said pulling you on his lap and rubbing up and down your back.

“You and J won’t end up like them I promise. Things just got complicated. There were a lot of stressors for everyone and JJ took it out on the wrong person.” He said, rocking slightly.

You stifled a sob and leaned further into him.

“Are you hungry? Sarah said she’s drop some food off with your mom. I told her I was gonna spend the night.”

“I’m okay.” You mumbled quietly.

“I’m gonna get you some food I know you haven’t been eating like you should.”

You sighed and let your mind race as you listened to your best friend’s breathing.

................................................................................................

“I’m just gonna sit this here. Thank you John B. She really needed this.” Your mom said smiling at the boy.

“Of course, Ms. Y/L/N. She’d do the same for me so I have to do the same for her. She’s the little sister I never had.” He smiled back.

Your mom smiled and placed the food down and left the room.

“Okay Y/N/N, come on time to eat,” he mumbled into your hair quietly.

You sighed and leaned away from his chest.

“Got you some chicken parm. I know it’s your favorite.”

You gave a soft smile and grabbed the takeout box he was offering. 

“Get a movie and put it on please. We’re going to eat and talk and then go to sleep. Okay?” He asked.

You sighed and nodded as he left the room.

He walked back in with TV trays and set them up and then moved the food onto them.

You put Hercules in and smiled as you sat back down.

“Alright so why did you decide to leave? No contact, no response, nothing.”

“I-“ you started and set your fork down. “I couldn’t let JJ have the option to not be with you guys. I know when he starts spiraling he needs someone. He needs them in those first few days or weeks. When I spiral I don’t even realize I am, so I just handle it when I notice. I could help myself but JJ needed your guys’ support.”

“You need our support too. When you’ve spiraled in the past I’ve always been here. You can’t place JJ’s happiness above your own. You can’t fix JJ while you are falling apart.” John B said biting into his burger.

“You were there after I handled it for a while I got through the bad. Just needed the last few pieces put back together. JJ deserves you guys. I can’t keep him from you. I can’t make him choose to see me with you guys or just not come around. If it came down to me or JJ needing to leave the group it would have to be me.” You said sadly.

“You can’t do that. Listen if it was you or JJ it would be both of you. We would split our time. But that’s not the case. JJ came back that night devastated you were gone. Screaming and crying. He tried to break everything he could, he knew he messed up. He wants to fix it.” John B sighed.

“I can’t promise I’ll take him back immediately, it’s not the same anymore. There’s things we both could fix and that’s not gonna happen with the relationship we have. I can’t be the reason why, if JJ and I were to get married and have kids, that my kids have emotional trauma from seeing a parent be verbally abusive to the other. JJ and I are borderline abusive now.” You said fighting back tears.

“Y/N/N. You won’t end up like your dad. Okay?”

“John B I’m not saying I would I just don’t want that to be the course that could happen. Taking a break will be good for us. I’m not saying I won’t try, because believe me I will. JJ is it for me and I know that.” You said pushing your plate away.

“You wanna go surfing with them tomorrow and have a marsh day?”

You nodded and gave him your new number to put in a group chat with them.

“You aren’t gonna eat anymore?”

You shook your head.

“Haven’t been too hungry lately.” You sighed and gave your attention to Hercules.

................................................................................................

“Wake up, sleepy.” John B said shaking you.

“Leave me alone JB. It’s too early.”

“We’re going surfing for sunrise.”

You sighed getting up and seeing it was 4:50am.

You pulled your closet open and pulled out a bathing suit and a pair of shorts and a tank top.

“Did you bring stuff?” You questioned.

He nodded his head.

“You can change in here, I’ll be in the bathroom gotta make myself look semi-approachable.” You said as you shut your bathroom door.

You stripped off your old clothes and quickly shaved and showered. Washed your face, brushed your teeth, did your hair, and finally pulled your swimsuit on. You sighed at your reflection noticing the spots that were thinner. You just decided to throw your tank top on and find different shorts to wear.

“Hey you ready?” John B questioned.

“Yeah one sec. Need to find my swim shorts.” You said digging through your closet.

You found them and slipped them on and followed John B out of your room.

Scribbling a note to your mom you left and took your car to the Chateu to grab the Twinkie and JB’s board.

“You ready to see him?” He questioned.

“Absolutely not, but it is what it is.” You said with a small laugh.

He nodded as you began your drive to the beach.

You arrived after what felt like years but was really only a few minutes. You could see Kiara and Pope but no signs of JJ.

You prepared yourself and grabbed your wetsuit and board and followed JB.

“Heyy.” You said awkwardly scratching your arm.

Kiara pulled you into a hug and Pope quickly followed.

“Don’t do that again.” She scolded.

You sighed and nodded.

“We have a lot of catching up to do. But we can surf and have our day first.” Pope smiled.

You nodded as they rushed out to the water with their boards. You slowly put your wetsuit on and allowed John B to zip it.

“Don’t freak but JJ just got here.”

You nodded and turned to the boy.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry. I know it was wrong, you had a lot on your plate and I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Guess we just know the right buttons to press.” He said sadly.

“I’m sorry too. I should’ve give you an explanation and not just expected you to understand. I do think it’s best we stay apart for a while. Fix ourselves and then maybe try again if it’s feeling like the right time and everything feels right.” You said.

“I agree.”

You smiled and led the way to surf with your friends.

[violetmuses]

Black Rose || Chapter 4

Author’s Note: Bianca meets Cyrus for the very first time in this 2003 flashback chapter! 

Tag Team: @peakyrogers @lilisangel

J Krew: @nerdysuperchick @a-reader-and-a-writer @babblydrabbly @lacontroller1991 @shadowkittybucky @loverhymeswith @justin-hammers @weallhaveadestiny @xoxabs88xox @katjnordstrom96   @11thstreetvigilante @skvatnavle @mayhem24-7forever @sociiallydiisoriiented

Black Rose - Masterlist 🖤

________

2003 

Bianca Martin 

“A simple “Hello” can lead to a million things.”

- Unknown. 

“Let’s go out tonight.” Gina crossed both arms while standing in front of me. I jokingly rolled my eyes, knowing that summertime was finally here and she planned on acting up in true Thomas fashion. 

“Why, so you can play matchmaker for me again? We’re still young, Gina. What’s the point of rushing into a relationship?” I offered that reasonable question, but she sat down at the foot of my bed before laying on her back and looking up at me. 

“I’m not saying that you’ll have to marry anyone right away. It’s just…” Gina sighed, eyeing my poster of Beyonce from an upside angle. 

“What?” I glanced down towards her and put my laptop to the side. 

“Shouldn’t spend the rest of your life alone. You still deserve to be happy.” Gina replied before long. 

“Who says that I’m not happy now?” I shook my head. 

“Don’t get me wrong. Quiet nights can be really helpful, but you haven’t left the house in weeks. If it wasn’t for me stopping by every so often, you’d probably never leave for anything other than essentials.” Gina worried like a Mom as usual. 

“Girl, I’m fine.” I said. “Have fun with the girls tonight and text when you’re back at home.” 

“We’re not leaving without you. Not this time.” Gina slid off the bed and picked up her cell phone, dialing a phone number.

_________

I didn’t even realize where we were going until the taxi cab pulled up to an iconic building. Club Shadow opened many years ago and is still filled to capacity to this day. I dropped my jaw, silenced because of genuine excitement and lack of words. 

“How did you do it, Gina?” I asked my best friend, holding her hand as we passed the bouncers and finally walked over its threshold. Ramona and Carmen surprised me hours earlier by stopping by. Soon, we got dressed together, ready for tonight. 

“Just pulled some strings.” Gina winked. I knew that she had quite a few tricks up her sleeve, but kept my mouth shut. Maybe another surprise would come along this evening. 

With each passing moment, music thumped in all directions and we headed to the dance floor first. It was stepping into a music video and we let loose, free to enjoy summer at last. I’d tripped for nothing, allowing myself to do something different. 

“Wanna get a drink?” Gina asked me the question a few songs in, speaking towards my ear. Both Carmen and Ramona were close, of course ready to join us near the bar. Tables were near for us to avoid cramming around the stools with others. 

“Sure.” I nodded and followed my friend along. 

________

“If we leave this place early enough, do you wanna grab takeout from that new Carribean spot?” I questioned everyone at the table. 

“Hell yeah.” Carmen and Ramona were united, beaming with slight tipsy smiles of their own. 

“Ah-ah. Nobody else on the planet makes better oxtails than my Mom. Watch yourself, B.” Gina warned and pointed her one of her manicured nails across the table. 

“I know.” I joked right back with her. We shared this small platter of food together between drinks, but laughter from not far away caught my attention.

Two guys were in the middle of returning to their table near us. One of these fellas stopped me midway, almost freezing in place when he noticed me. 

I finished off this drink and excused myself from the girls, walking over towards these strangers before anyone could stop me. At least my friends were still nearby if this plan went South. 

“Oh, I know we haven’t met before, but is everything okay? You seem a little nervous.” I felt genuinely worried, especially since this guy looked pale in the face despite the flickering of strobe nights and so many other noises around here. 

He then cleared his throat by lifting one balled fist upwards. The sleeves of one dark dress shirt had rolled up, exposing dark tattoo ink that seemed to ran along his own skin. From what I could tell at this slightly distant angle, his blondish hair beamed underneath every light in the club. 

“Are we in your way?” He asked, still sounded a little anxious for whatever reason.

“No, no.” I reassured him. “I just heard somebody laughing earlier and got a little nosey.” I joked, hoping that this stranger or even his supposed friend would chuckle. 

“Don’t worry. We weren’t talking about you.” His smile didn’t exactly reach his entire face, but he looked amused. 

“That’s a relief.” I encouraged him. “What’s your name?” 

“I’m Cryus, and this is Drew.” The stranger seemed to hold his heart while introducing himself. On the other hand, his friend waved almost frantically towards me, as if he were a kid all over again. 

“Hey fellas,” I acknowledged both of them before walking back towards my friends. “Have a good night.” 

“You too.” Cyrus was the only person speaking over that loud music this time. 

If I knew then what I know now…