#me at 9am after having been clocked in for 30 minutes

[whimsiwitchy]

I hear the secrets that you keep (series)

chapter three: you make me nervous

Pedro Pascal x F!reader 

series masterlist

series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything.

Warnings: plus size reader (no specific description of reader, slight descriptions of weight: stomach fat, stretch marks, etc.), hefty age gap (24 years/14 years), female anatomy description, she/her pronouns, use of gendered terms (girl, girly, etc.), y/n used, descriptions of nudity, swearing,  use of the word fat, warnings may change as the story progresses. 

authors note: Hi everyone. I just posted chapter two a few hours ago but my mind was buzzing with ideas lol. This chapter has a lot of awkward energy so I apologize in advance. Enjoy <3

chapter summary: y/n attends the table read for Risky Disco and gets to know Pedro. 

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The week leading up to the table read seemed to drag on. Even though you kept yourself busy, it was like every time you looked at a clock, it ticked slower and slower. You were somewhat grateful for the delay as it gave you more time to prepare yourself for your first day working on Risky Disco. Not only did it delay your first day of work, it also delayed having to see Pedro again. You felt so silly. One ten minute interaction was invading your entire nervous system. To prepare yourself to see him again, you started watching interviews and clips of him acting. You wanted to know what his personality was like so you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself when you two are bound to cross paths fairly soon. Whenever you weren’t working your server job, you were reading through your script or watching videos on Pedro. You felt kind of weird finding out things about him when he would know nothing about you, but hey that’s the price of fame right? People knowing things about someone without that person knowing anything about them. 

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The table read was set to start at 9am. So naturally, you were up at 5am to get ready for the day. You took a quick shower and started to decide what to wear. Trying to keep comfort in mind, you scanned your closet for an outfit. Table reads usually include a lot of sitting so you knew you didn’t want to wear anything too tight around your stomach. You hated when you sat and your jeans would dig into your stomach or when your ‘baggy’ jeans tightened around your thigh when it flattened against whatever you were sitting on. You really wanted to look as cute as possible though, for yourself of course, not for anyone else…

You decided to wear a pair of sheer black pantyhose, with black shorts pulled over them, accompanied by a simple black v neck long sleeve shirt. For shoes you wore your trusty pair of classic docs. Once you were dressed, you worked on your hair and makeup, keeping it fairly simple. Looking at the time, it was now 7am. You made a quick breakfast and drank a cup of coffee. After you finished eating, you grabbed a tote bag and filled it with all of your essentials: your script, chapstick, lipstick, perfume, deodorant, and wallet. You then filled up your reusable water bottle, grabbed your keys and made your way out of the door. 

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The table read was taking place in the same building as the audition, making it a lot easier to find where to go and park. After parking your car, it was 8:30. You decided to go ahead and go inside. When you walked in, you spoke to a receptionist who told you what room to go to. As you neared the room, you realized that you were the first person here and for some reason that was embarrassing for you. Instead of going in, you lingered near the door and tried to look busy on your phone. After five minutes of opening and closing different apps, you heard someone walking down the hallway. You kept your head down and pretended to text someone so you didn’t look like such a loser. 

“Hey, y/n right?” 

Your entire body tensed up, you know that voice. You know that voice a little too well after all of your ‘research’. 

“I’m Pedro, I read lines with you during your audition.” You finally looked up and you almost let out a gasp. He was wearing a pair of light denim jeans, a basic black t-shirt, and a leather jacket. You let your eyes meet his and you saw that he also sported a baseball style cap with a pair of glasses. In conclusion, he looked good. Too fucking good. 

“Oh yeah that’s me. Hi, it’s nice to actually meet you.” You let out the words better than you thought you would. He gives you a smile and raises his hand to offer a handshake. You reach out and latch your hand to his. His hand was soft yet rough at the same time and it engulfed yours in a perfect way. You both let go and stand in silence for a moment. 

“So, just us so far?” he asked as he looked around. “Yea, I guess so. I feel like such a weenie getting here so early.” You cringed at your choice of words but Pedro let out a laugh. “Well, I definitely wouldn’t say you're a weenie.” he said with emphasis on the word ‘weenie’. “You’re professional, early is good.” You gave him a thankful smile. “I had this theater teacher that would hound us for not being on time. She would always say ‘early is on time and- ""-and on time is late.” he finishes the phrase for you and the two of you both let out a small laugh. “You hear that a lot in the acting world. Yet no one seems to follow it.” He says while looked down at his phone to check the time. 

Silence falls over you two and you start fidgeting with your fingers as a distraction. “Hey, why don’t we go ahead and sit down. We can show off our skills of being on time to all of the late weenies.” He smiles and you laugh at his use of weenie again. Pedro opens the door for you and you let out a quick thank you. As you walk in, you see a large table with name tags in front of each chair. You glance around the table, searching for your name. Once you found it, you made your way to your chair and Pedro took a seat right next to you. 

He was so close to you and it was too intense. First he comes in looking like sex on legs, now he’s sitting only a few inches away from you. He smells so good. You wish you could just- “You don’t walk much do you?” he asked as he turned to look at you. You do the same. “Sorry, I don’t want you to think I don’t want to talk to you. I do. I just get weird around new people and don’t really know how to act and I just have horrible people skills in general sometimes. You also kind of make me really nervous.” You shut up and quickly turn to face forward with a blush on your face. “I make you nervous?” He asked. You gave him a quick glance and saw that he had that stupid smirk on his face. You actually can’t believe you just said that out loud. You had never been someone who got the nervous rambles. You usually just give a short answer and keep quiet. You were so humiliated it was unbearable. Luckily, the room began to fill up with other actors and crew members. You felt Pedro shift beside you and your leg started bouncing out of nervous habit. 

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The table read was surprisingly uneventful. You had been nervous to read lines back and forth with Pedro but somehow your mind locks in when it’s time to act. You could still feel the intensity, especially when it came to the scene that led up to the steamy moment between the main characters. You just ignored the butterflies and kept reading. 

Once it was over, the director gave a little speech and the crew gave us a few notices. Letting everyone know to check their emails frequently for any changes made to the schedule. As soon as they released everyone for the day, you gathered your things and began to make the walk back to your car. Just as you were grabbing your door handle, you heard your name being called. When you looked up Pedro was jogging over to you. “Hi.” He said as he stopped in front of you. “Uhh hi.” You said awkwardly, still embarrassed from earlier. “Would you maybe want to hang out, get to know each other a little bit? We’ll be spending a lot of time together on screen and I would love to get to know you outside of filming and stuff.” All you could do is stand there and look at him. “I’ll try my best not to make you nervous.” He teased as he smiled brightly at you awaiting an answer. “If I agree to this, you have to promise to not make me nervous.” You held your pinky up and he linked his with yours, locking in his promise. You both dropped your hands. “So uh, what do you want to do?” “I honestly didn’t think that far ahead, I was just trying to catch you before you left.” You look down at the ground and think. “I mean you could come to my place. It’s small and there’s not much to do but we can just hang around and talk I guess…” You trail off at the end looking up at him. “Yea that sounds perfect.” There's a pause… “Uh, do you want me to give you my address or something?” “Oh yea here, let me give you my number so you can send it to me.” You pull out your phone and go to create a new contact. You hand your phone to him and he types in his number. When he hands it back, you notice that he set his contact name to ‘Pedro :)’. You smiled a little and opened the message app and sent him your address. “I just sent it. Did you get it?” He grabs his phone out of his pocket. “Yea I got it.” another pause… “Uh okay cool well, I’ll see you there I guess.” “Yea see you there.” He smiles. “Just text me or something when you get there so you don’t get lost in my apartment complex.” 

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When you got home and hadn’t received a text from Pedro yet, you ran inside and quickly cleaned up as much as you could and sprayed some air freshener. 

‘I’m here :)’

Shit. You checked your appearance in the mirror before running out of the door and down to the parking lot. When you saw him, you started rethinking your entire life that led up to this point. What did you do to deserve having a sexy ass man want to hang out and get to know you?? I mean it’s for work purposes but still, it counts in your head as something more. You saw him get out of his car and make his way over to you. “Hi, um, follow me.” God why did you have to be so weird. “Okie dokie, lead the way.”. Once the two of you reached your apartment, you opened the door and walked inside. “You can take your shoes off if you want, I don’t really care but if you’d be more comfortable you can.” You look at him and he’s smiling at you. “Sorry, I don’t know why I keep rambling.”. You sigh and usher him to follow you to the living room. He takes off his jacket and hat. The sight of his biceps in that tight ass black shirt almost has you drooling. You try to collect yourself as quickly as possible before he notices anything. You take off your doc martens and plop down on the couch. You pat the couch and he sits on the other end. This is so fucking awkward oh my god. 

“Do you want anything to drink or something?”.

“No it’s okay, thank you though.” 

“No problemo.” 

Silence.. 

“Is there anything specific you want to know or um..” You look at him and quickly look away. “Sorry I'm really not good at meeting new people and being myself.” Your leg starts to bounce. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m the one who should be sorry. You told me you had trouble with new people and I sprung this on you.” His eyes move around the room. “You don’t have to be sorry. I promise I want to get to know you too, I just don’t really know how to do that.” 

He thinks for a moment. 

“How about we start with what we already know about each other, then we can ask each other questions based on that? Sound good?” You nod. 

“I can go first. I know your name is y/n. I also know that you’re 35 and that you’re an actress.” You squint your eyebrows together. 35? Where the hell did he get that from? You think for a moment.. Oh fuck. You completely forgot that Angie said you were 35 to get the audition.  

“Oh um yeah. Well I know your name is Pedro, I think you’re 49 but I’m honestly not that sure, and I also know that you’re an actor.” oh yea totally believable that you didn’t know this man's age  by adding an ‘I think’ super smooth…

“How long have you been acting?” 

“Well I moved here like six years ago, almost seven at this point. I did some theater in high school. So however long that is. This is my first big role though.” “That’s surprising.” “What is?” “That this is your first big role.” “Why do you say that?” “Sweetheart, your audition was incredible. You were a natural.” 

Sweetheart 

“Oh um thank you. I’d like to think I’m good.” “You are good.” He sets his hand on your thigh and squeezes as he speaks and immediately retracts his hand. You can still feel the warmth of his quick touch and the spot tingles. Your heart is beating at an unhealthy speed. You look down at your thigh and back to his stupid handsome smiling face.

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The two of you continued to talk and get to know each other. You spoke about acting, family, interests, hobbies. Once the conversation flowed more, it was easier to let loose and talk to him without stuttering every two seconds. 

Pedro was laughing at something you said when your stomach growled. 

“Oh my god that is so embarrassing.” You hide your face in your hands. “No need to be embarrassed sweetheart.” There was that name again. “I should leave soon, I didn’t realize it was so late already.” You really wanted him to stay. “You don’t have to go. I was probably going to order something if you wanted to join me.” You offered hoping he would say yes. “I don’t want to be a bother, I’ll get out of your hair.” “Oh. Okay.”. He stood up and stretched his arms up, making his shirt raise just enough for you to catch a glance at his lower tummy. You quickly looked away and stood up as well. 

He put his hat and jacket back on. “Well I should head out.” “Yea.. yea um I’ll walk you out.” You both started walking towards the door. “I’ll see you soon yea? Next time you better not be all shy again you hear me?” “No promises. You make me nervous, remember?.” He chuckles. You open the door for him. He gives you a quick goodbye and then he's gone. You close the door and make your way back to the couch to sit down. You ordered some food and tried to process everything that happened today. 

As you were eating, you got a text. 

Pedro :) 

I had a lot of fun today, we should do it again. 

You start to text a reply but before you can hit send, another text comes through. 

Pedro :) 

Did I mention that you looked really beautiful today? 

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Thank you for reading <3

next chapter

[nessieart]

The Way Back. II

Summary: These powers were meant to help people. Help The Avengers, your family. It felt like every time you used them, something bad always happened. Maybe someone has the answers, somewhere.

wc: 3.6k

eventual stucky x reader. its way way way later. an: here's part 2! i hope you enjoy!

Part 1

Stephen asked questions about your accident. Though it wasn't like his, he understood the trauma that came with it. You tell him there was a lot of support from your new friends - at the time, who you also bonded with - in an alien invasion.

Stephen manifested the Mirror Dimension so you could show him the full extent of your powers safely. At least what you could grasp yourself from your limited sessions with the Ancient One.

Inhaling a calming breath, you willed the powers from the scar on your chest to come forth. Summoning a cloudy portal was like second nature to you by now. So, instead, the tips of your fingers begin to glow a faint blue, creeping up your hands and forearms, then stopping right at your elbows.

You could feel the power of the Tesseract course through you, barely having to think about it. You slowly ascended off the ground. A trail of light blue energy followed behind you.

If only Tony could see me now, you thought. Would he be proud? You hoped so.

You spun in the air, a smile on your face as you loop around and around, and then you loop back to Stephen, stopping mid-air a few feet from him. There was a smirk on his face as he rose from the ground to match you, the Cloak billowing without wind.

He tapped his fists together, golden mystic symbols bracketing his hands, "Alright, now let's see what you can really do."

&

"How are the two of you still awake?" Wong crosses his arms in front of his chest, a disapproving look on his face. How does he always manage to make you feel like a little kid getting in trouble?

Stephen scoffs next to you, "Please, it hasn't been that-" Wong gives him a reprimanding look and then points to the clock on the wall.

"It's only 1:30, we've been in the library since 9am. What's the big deal?" You barely look up from the tomes in front of you as you reply.

"9 am, yesterday! Have either of you slept? Eaten?"

You and Stephen share a look. Now that you're actually looking at him, you notice the dark circles under his eyes and a little bloodshot. You're sure you're no better. You scrub your hands down your face, leaning back in your chair, and your back cracks as you stretch.

"Maybe we should take a break," you sigh. "Fresh coffee might help," You wiggle your eyebrows, and Stephen chuckles.

Wong gives an exasperated sigh, throwing his hands up in the air as he leaves the study and the two of you.

You return a short while later with a tray, a tea kettle, and mugs. A few snacks are arranged on a plate. Just as you place the tray down on the end table, a loud crash from the entrance hall came reverberating through the room. You and Stephen stare at each other with wide eyes. Stephen held his arm out, and within seconds the Cloak settled on his shoulders as he led you cautiously out of his stufy and to the foyer.

There was a giant hole in the ceiling, a similar one in the stairs below. The sun was streaming down and catching dust and debris in its rays.

Stephen's golden mystic symbols appeared as you both inched closer to the hole in the stairs, your hands glowing blue as you came to a stop. A hand reached up from inside the hole, then another, then a dark curly head of hair.

"Bruce?!"

You teleport to Stephen's room in a heartbeat, grabbing extra clothes for Bruce and then you were back in another beat. They were simple robes and they were better than the tattered pants he was in.

You ushered Bruce to Stephen's study, sat him down and handed him a cup of tea.

And waited.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, you inched a little closer to Bruce on the couch.

"Bruce?…" you hedge.

He looks up at you after a moment, eyes focusing on you. There's something behind his eyes you've seen before. Fear, confusion. Anxiety.

"Thanos is coming."

A chill runs up your spine, the grip on your mug is tight in your hands. A power surge rushes through your fingers and the mug shatters, spilling hot tea and ceramic shards all over your hands. Stephen squawks in surprise, leaping from his seat to kneel in front of you, taking your hands in his.

"y/n?" he turns your hands over to examine them better, but there is no damage. The mug and its contents lay on the floor at your feet. You stand abruptly, causing Stephen to almost fall over.

"We need Tony," you say to them, Bruce nods.

The portal fizzes to life and you can see Tony and Pepper. "Tony Stark," Stephen steps through the portal, "I'm Dr. Stephen Strange. I'm going to need you to come with me. Sorry. Congratulations on the wedding by the way."

"I'm sorry, are you giving out tickets to something?" Tony steps in front of Pepper, squaring his shoulders.

"We need your help. Look, it's not overselling it to say, the fate of the universe is at stake."

"Who's 'we'?" Tony's eyes squint.

Bruce steps up next to Stephen, "Hi, Tony."

Tony's and Pepper's eyes go wide, Tony engulfing Bruce in a hug.

You stand back in the Sanctum, leaning against the ballistrade, waiting. A wedding? You scoff as Tony steps through the portal, eyes adjusting. You didn't even get an invitation. So much for friends. When his eyes adjust, they scan the foyer, you watch him like a hawk, arms crossed tight over your chest like armor.

He seems to stumble a step, he wasn't expecting you to be here. You've changed, he notices, his eyes searching you up and down. There's a heavy exhale, like he can finally breath again. In a heartbeat he's in front of you, and tugs your shoulders to him and you fall into his bonecrushing embrace. Your hands fall away and you hug him just as tight, face buried under his chin. When did you start to cry?

"God, I've been so worried about you, kid." Tony's voice strains, tight and thick as he mumbles over the lump in his throat. He pulls you back to look at you, eyes searching your face.

"hi, Tony," is all you could manage. How could he miss you? Be worried? He hasn't returned any of your phone calls, texts, hell, you even mailed him an actual letter when you were at Kamar-taj.

You avoid his gaze when his eyes come back to yours.

"I've been trying to get in touch with you for over a year," he tells you. your eyebrows scrunch up. "tried calling and sent a few dozen texts. Ok, maybe a hundred."

"But-"

"One day we were planning a move, and the next you were gone," his hand comes up to your face, thumb wiping under your eye to catch the tear. "thought you-" he cuts himself off, eyes falling over your shoulder.

"I wouldn't. I'd never do that to you, Tony." But you did, didn't you? All but abandoned him like everyone else. Why didn't you just portal to him, it's not like you could never find him. One short skip through your interdementional travel, and this feeling in your chest would be long gone.

But something always came up, some other excuse, more research. Stephen was the appointed Sorcerer Supreme now, and he kept you busy. Or he tried to.

"I've been trying to get in contact with you too, but- did you change your number?" When Tony shakes his head, he pulls his StarkPhone from his pocket.

Stephen steps forward, clearing his throat, "We have more pressing matters at hand, than catching up on what-could-have-beens."

He raises his eyebrow when him over Tony's shoulder. "right," you sigh, "fate of the universe."

&

After that, it all happened so fast. Like the feeling in the air right before storm. That always seems to be your favorite moment. The calm before the storm. But now? It makes your stomach twist, icy tendrils creep up your body in a slow agonizing pace. They climb up your torso, under your arms and then close around your throat.

You fought hard, flying after Tony as fast as you could. To say he was surprised when he saw you backing him up mid-air, would be an understatement. He was even more surprised when a pulse of blue energy flew out of your hand and hit the giant alien brute in the face. Though it hardly fazed it. Tony gave you an approving nod.

As the alien went to raise it's giant mace to swing down on you and Tony, it stopped. A little red mask with giant bug eyes peered at you both over the mace.

"Hey, Mr. Stark! Oh, hi y/n! Geez, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. How've you been? OH," the alien whent to move its weapon away from Peter. He was tossed far away, you portalled to him and caught him mid-air before he could crash into a building.

"Hi, Peter," you smile at him as you set him on a roof. You were off in the blink of an eye before he could respond.

&

Space wasn't really where you saw the day going. Hell, it wasn't even in your top 10 things you wish you could do.

After sending 'squidward' off into the cold expanse of deep space, you, Tony, Stephen, and Peter, waited. Waited on baited breath as the spaceship continued on auto pilot and naviagted towards its destination.

The planet was barren, A little surreal. Meeting the Guardians of the Galaxy, was an experience, but they were nice. As nice as strangers and strange aliens went.

The plan was simple enough, get the Gauntlet off of Thanos. Win. Simple, right?

"So, you know Thor?" you ask the bug-like woman - Mantis, she said her name was.

She hums happily, 'Oh, yes! He was very handsome. And sad. Also, angry! Floating through space alone would do that, I guess."

"Wait, alone? He wasn't with anyone else? His brother?" There were a million questions running through your mind as Mantis tilted her head, huge bug eyes looking at you, waiting. The antenae on her head dropped slightly, eyes going a little sad.

"I sensed great saddness in him. Hurt, anger, sorrow. Death. Determination. He weeps, in his heart for all the lives lost because of Thanos," her sentence tapered off to a whisper as she spoke.

"Dead? Who-"

You're interrupted by Tony's call of your name. His look of determination sets a fire in your stomach.

&

It didn't work. Deep down, maybe you knew it wouldn't. If Thanos could overpower Thor, Loki, and The Hulk. What chance did you all have? A snowballs chance, you guess.

A large golden clad gauntlet catches you around the throat before you could land another punch to Thanos' smug purple face. His overly large hand dwarfs you, his thumb under your chin and two fingers holding your head in place. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a stone glow on his gauntlet. Your chest heaves and it feels like its on fire.

Thanos hums, eyes searching yours as you fight to get free. Everyone else is littered about the ground, beaten and exhausted.

Tony has Peter's arm wrapped around his shoulders. Both of them leaning on each other for support. Stephen can barely sit up straight without wincing.

Thanos' other hand pulls your robe apart, releaving the crystaline scar on your chest. The sports bra you wear does little to cover up the glow that matches the stone on his knuckles. They glow in tune, pulsing with your heartbeat. His brows crease, eyes filling with something you can't name.

"Oh, Little One, look at you."

You sneer, about to open your mouth, but he presses his thumb into your throat more. Silencing anything you have to say.

"A pity you're on the wrong side," he hums thoughtfully. His other hand comes up to pinch the raised scar on your chest and he tugs.

The scream that rips from your throat is loud and deafening. You think you hear your friends shout your name. Shout for Thanos to stop, plead with him. It feels like hes ripping your ribcage out of your body. The tug of his fingers is determined, the deep connection the scar has to your body feels like its ripping you apart. Your powers are connected to it, they fizzle at the edge of your mind, just out of reach.

Blood starts to trickle out of parts that pulled away from your skin. Thanos mumbles something about you being unique, and he really doesn't want to do this. "It's for your own good." He tugs again and your vision goes white.

Maybe you passed out, because the pain stopped, or you're completly numb to it now. Thanos drops you to the ground like a discarded toy. The hard thud of your body meeting solid ground makes Tony flinch.

"Please," you think you hear Stephen's voice. You turn your head towards his voice, coughing up a bit of blood as you exhale. Your next breath in wheezes. "spare her life, and…and I'll give you the stone."

Tony looks like he's going to protest, but there's tears in his eyes and Peter has to hold him back from running to you.

You grunt, rolling on your side. It takes more effort than it should to move your body. It feels heavy, like laying in molasses. It takes all your energy to find your voice, "N-no. St-Stephen. Do- don't.." your voice is hoarse and raw, you wince at the pain in your vocal chords.

The Space Stone on Thano's gauntlet lights up, illuminating your scar, he sticks his hand above your body and you feel weightless. His hand closes around your torso, squeezing ever so slightly. You have to gasp for breath.

"Look at your friends, Little One," Thanos says in your ear. You can hear his grin, "Look how they would sacrifice everything for you. The future of your world. The universe."

"F- Fuck you,

you grit through clenched teeth. He squeezes you tighter in response.

"Y/N," Stephen pleads your name, you meet his gaze and you can see the tear tracks down his dirty face. "I'm sorry."

You try to give him a reassuring nod, but everything hurts too much to do anything but hold his gaze. The Eye opens and Stephen floats the Time Stone over to Thanos. With his hold loosening, you use the last of your strength to slip free. You portal to the stone before Thanos could get his hands on it.

In a blink, you give Tony, Peter, and Stephen a sad smile. Trying to convey your love, and sorrow, to them. Your hands light up, cradling the stone in your hands, the crystalline scar on your chest burns bright. Maybe you could teleport far away from here, but before you think of anything else, you crush the Time Stone to your chest. You feel a crack, and a shudder runs through you.

It's almost like slow motion, green clouds spring forth after the stone makes contact with your scar. The blast wave knocks everyone around you back. The force creating a crater below your feet. One minute you were hovering above the shattered ground on Titan, and the next, you were gone.

&

Steve has this sinking feeling in his gut. He's trying not to think about it. Just shove it away, like the rest of his feelings and focus on what's ahead. He can worry about everything at a later time.

Steve hasn't seen Bucky in almost 2 years. Leaving him in Wakanda was difficult, to say the least. But maybe not as hard as it was to leave you. Bloody and broken alongside Tony in that cold Siberian bunker.

There's a knock on his door. He was packing what little belongings he had with him. Sam stood at the door, his arms crossed over his chest.

"You really think we can trust Rhodes? That distress signal could be a trap."

Steve heaves a heavy sigh, turning to follow Sam out to their rundown quinjet. Somehow, Natasha had found one, and then Sam and Steve. Wanda and Vision were already on board when the rest of the group arrived. Vision clutching his side as he sat close to Wanda.

"I think," Steve said after a while, "Rhoades wouldn't call us if he didn't have anyone else." And that thought makes his stomach turn.

Where was Tony? Where were you? Steve thought he was leaving the Avengers in capable hands. He even told Tony so in the letter he sent. He didn't expect to hear from him, that's for sure.

He wrote you one as well, but his hopes for a reply fell as the days went by. The months, then a year. He knew you were most likely mad, angry, upset…he could catalog a lot of things you probably felt towards him. Doesn't mean he doesn't miss you any less.

"I also got a call from Bruce," he says quietly to Sam. "Saying that Tony and Y/N were gone," his throat tightens around the words. He's not sure he wants to know what that means.

There's a twist in his stomach again. Get it together.

When Steve's group arrived at the compound, he was a little surprised with how empty it was. Only a few staff working and milling about. When they caught sight of Captain America, wanted fugitive, they scattered.

"Nice welcome wagon," Natasha smirked.

Steve led his group down familiar halls, Natasha, Vision, Wanda and Sam followed dutifully behind him. It was easy to find Rhodes. The confrontation with Ross was inevitable, but at least it was only a hologram.

Then his eyes landed on Bruce, and that feeling of dread wormed its way into his gut again. Bruce peered around the group, his eyes scanning theirs and then back to Steve. Bruce's shoulders slumped as he beckoned them all through.

Steve really wasn't sure what to expect, but finding out that Bruce - The Hulk - was on another planet for the last 2 years, wasn't it. Then he found out about you. Or at least where you've been since he last saw you.

"Thor is missing…or worse…" Bruce grimaced. "Loki he. He sacrificed himself to try and save the rest of his people. What was left of them after Thanos was through, anyway."

Steve was sure the pit in his stomach couldn't get any heavier.

"With Tony and Y/n missing, or." Bruce cut himself off, looking down at his hands before he continued. "with the two of them off world, I wasn't sure who else to turn to. Tony said that - well he gave me the cliffnotes, - what happened between the two of you." Bruce was looking at Steve.

"We know Thanos is after the Stones. If he gets his hands on Doctor Strange's, then there's only one left." Everyone in the room turns their gaze to Vision.

Steve had said they don't trade lives, no matter what. But he thinks he'd sell his soul just to see you one more time. He shouldn't feel this way, not after what happened and the way you looked at him in Siberia.

He was so happy to see Bucky, he looked good. Happy. The hug lingers a little longer than normal, both holding each other a little tighter. Steve didn't want to drag his best friend into another war, but Bucky assured him he'd follow him anywhere.

As Thanos' fist comes down on Steve's face again, he cant help but to grit out your name over his split lips.

Thanos stops, eyes searching to recall where he heard your name before, then his eyes light up and that pit in Steve's stomach wants to drag him under the earth.

"The girl with the scar," Thanos grins, it's not even a question. He knows.

"Where. Is. She?" Steve fights back with all the strength he can muster. After all, he could do this all day.

&

It's cold, was your first thought. It's cold and damp, and there's so much pain. Somewhere. Everywhere.

You groan, shoving your forehead into the gravel beneath you. Whatever happened, it hurts like hell. Placing one hand on the ground, and the other on your chest, you pull yourself up. Sitting back and finding a wall behind you.

Convenient, you think. So you lean back against it, resting your head that pounds with every breath you take and beat of your heart.

It's bright when you peek an eye open, and then slam it shut again.

Maybe I'll just rest here awhile longer.

&

Tony couldn't breath. You were right there. If Peter wasn't holding him back, he could have got to you, told you no. But when did you ever listen to him? God, he was so happy to see you earlier, he had to many things to tell you. He wanted to show you the cabin he had built for him and Pepper. Show you his garden, the new high tech equipment he has in his study. All of it, he wants to share with you.

You're his best friend, other than Rhodey. He has to tell Pepper he found you.

Found you. But now?

Tony filmed the wedding, just because he never heard back from you. To think you were still in New York this whole time. He shook his head.

"What just happened?" Peter muttered. "Wher-where did she go?"

Tony was silent, his eyes haven't left the spot where you disappeared. He takes a ragged breath in. He feels like he's suffocating.

The green and blue mist begins to settle, the last remnants that you were ever there, start to drift away.

"Mr. Stark?"

Tony can't seem to find his voice. He just shakes his head again. Maybe if he closes his eyes, you'll come back.

You had to come back.

"Please," is all that leaves his lips.

--

Next

[just-run-it-out]

Got to work this morning and our network is down across all three of our offices so we’ve all been told to wfh. No one was made aware until just before 9am so there’s no way I could have known to stay home. I’m still a little annoyed that I could have just slept in so I’ve opted to go home rather than use the hotspot we had available for a few staff. I’d much rather get home early and spend the rest of the afternoon at home than get home at 7pm.

My bf is now annoyed at me because when I told him I’d be coming home early he asked if we could go to the recycle centre after I clock off to recycle bottles/cans we’ve been collecting and I said no. He’s had the last 5 days off and could have gone anytime without me when I’ve been working but he wants us to go together. I’m happy to wait until another weekend but I don’t want to spend 30 minutes of the limited time I have in the evening recycling 😑 I really don’t think he understands how much I’m reaching my limit with commuting/early wake ups and bed times.

[swordbreakerz]

Day 15: time is long

I wrote a love letter about my weird timeline listening to friends at the table that is very rambly and doesn't have much of a point and is a little personal and I'm putting it under a readmore because I'm shy and going to throw my phone into the ocean after this posts

This July marks a full year since I got back into friends at the table. I watched the NNAF stream live, the first day at work since it was my last day (what were they gonna do, fire me?), and the second day at home, half dozing through the first three hours because I wasn't used to being up at 9am on a Monday. The Marielda one shot and stretch reward of a Hieron epilogue finally piqued my interest in that campaign, and I started Autumn in Hieron the next day.

It had been probably a year and a half since I'd listened to any day at that point, back in October 2020 (the 23rd, to be exact, according to my discord DMs) a friend of mine got me interested and I started listening to COUNTER/weight. I blew through it in a couple weeks, finishing it on November 17th, and it has the high honor of being one of the only pieces of media to make me cry after finishing it before I was medicated. I jumped straight into Twilight Mirage, but only made it about halfway before I quit the job I'd been working, and fell off of it, because I'd been using my 8hr shifts to burn through episodes. Despite quitting my job Again just as I was getting back on though, last year it stuck and I caught up with the entire backlog of podcast, including Bluff City, in maybe… four or five months if I remember right? It truly caught me by the throat.

Now, I'm fully caught up and staying on top of weekly releases better, being employed helps so I have a dedicated task to do while listening. It's become a regular fixture of my life and I've been thinking about voices defining a time in your life, and how summer 2022 will forever be my summer of friends at the table. The friends were my constant companion, I listened to the least amount of music that year than I maybe ever have, my spotify wrapped minutes on music were dwarfed by the nearly ~700 hours of podcast (spotify is easier to binge with at work, and I like stats).

This podcast reignited my creativity and drive after an art slump and brought me closer with one of my cherished friends, it taught me things about storytelling and political theory, it forced me to process old grief while sobbing for two hours straight after finishing Marielda. I could probably keep going, but being vulnerable makes me want to dig a very deep hole and lie in it forever, and honestly if any of the cast does see this I think I might die if I put anything too personal in it.

I'm not sure where the point I was leading to went. This podcast is like a reliable clock (hah) to me. It's my Friday work treat when seasons are live, Animal Out of Context can lull me to sleep in less than 30 minutes, Orbital made me laugh so hard I nearly cried in front of my coworker. Having something become such a north star in your life, especially something close to the ground like this, is fun and weird and scary all at the same time. I went from barely paying attention to ttrpg news to The PBTA Guy in my friendgroup in a matter of months. I still cry if I think about The Chime or Hella or Maelgwyn or Fero or Lem too hard. I'm getting a tattoo based on C/W at some point for gods sake.

Anyway. It's amazing how time and passion can worm it's way into your heart. Keep telling stories, keep loving eachother, I'm going to go dig a deep hole now, mwah

[patsymayhugh]

Diary of a Desperate Mental Health Worker….

My anus twitched as I listened to his words knowing I was unable to physically help him. Barely audible tone with slow, deep breathing, this guy was serious. “Carl, shall I call emergency services for you?” I asked. No immediate reply, just breathing sounds and the occasional snivel before Carl softly informed me that he was not going to kill himself tonight because his dog was asleep next to him, but once he had rehomed him, he would make firm plans. Carl gently thanked me for listening to him. It was 1am, I reminded him our helpline was 24 hours, and he could call anytime, then he hung up. I emailed his community mental health team, I’m sure they will contact him later today.

Several more calls proceeded, then I went on my 30-minute break, that’s all we are allowed in a 13-hour shift. When I get back to my desk and I can hear Janet, the senior nurse on duty talking on the phone, standing next to her is Paige, like me, she is a helpline worker on the night shift tonight. Paige is anxiously biting her nails listening to Janet on the phone. “I had to transfer him to speak with a nurse.” Paige tells me a hurriedly, hushed voice, “he wants to eat his foot.”

“Oh” I replied.

I sit down, wake up my decades old computer and wait for the next call to come through all the while earwigging to Janet’s conversation.

“Gordon, have you masturbated tonight?” Janet asks him in a controlled, serious tone. 

Paige whispers to me, “he wanks off over pork chops”

“Oh”

Janet wraps up the call after about 40 minutes. Having listened into said call, it’s evident Gordon does not want to come in to see a nurse face to face. Instead, Janetpromises him a crisis call-back tomorrow daytime, and in the meantime, he has agreed to go to bed reassuring Janet that his foot will remain firmly intact and attached to his ankle.

Janet swivels her chair to face the room. “I literally do not know what the fuck to do about that one!” she exclaims, and we all sit with our gobs wide open not knowing what to say.

“He is a university lecturer that fantasises about eating people. The problem is he also provides private tuition to kids.” Our gobs are still open for a few seconds before Paige pipes up, “He’s like Jeffrey Dahma”

Recently, Netflix released a series entitled, ‘Dahma.’ which followed the real-life story of notorious serial killer Jeffrey Darma and his cannibalistic tendencies. Since it has been aired, we have received a few phone calls from individuals out in the community who claimed they have similar intrusive thoughts and felt they should be locked up so they could not hurt anyone. Thankfully, I dodged those bullets and missed those calls.

Janet decides to call the non-emergency police phone line for advice. Maybe police have some information (police call this “markers”) on Gordon? Turns out they have never heard of him and have nothing on him, I can’t help thinking, ‘they have now.’ Police told Janetbecause he has not committed a crime there is nothing they can do, but it might be a good idea to contact his employer… the university where he works. It was 4am and I’ve heard of a thing called confidentiality, so I hoped she wouldn’t leave a voicemail with the Uni reception desk. 

Janet tells the room, following her productive call with the police that she was worried that Gordon could one day seriously hurt himself or worse, go on to commit a crime as he sounded very serious, and, after careful deliberation, Janet decided to hand the issue over to the day staff. “We’ll also contact his GP via email and let them know about his call to us tonight.” And she begins typing up a long set of notes. I suspect Gordon will be bombarded with lots of phone calls over the next few days. 

Half a dozen more calls until finally, the clock finally turned 9am, leaving us all emotionally exhausted. I was Looking forward to going home to an empty house knowing Rob was at work and the two kids Tom and Millie were in school. I got into bed where I lay dead for about 5 hours- until it was time to collect them. Then it was dinner shovelled and for me to get ready for my next night shift…

[wellthatwentbetterthanexpected]

We’re brothers now

“I don’t care Sam” Bucky said, placing a wet cloth over his shivering partner, “we’re brothers now, this is what we do”

Or - Sam and Bucky are on a mission when Sam comes down with a fever and Bucky takes care of him, and Sam whinges about being a grown ass man.

Set after the events of Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Nothing could ever be simple nowadays. This was meant to be a simple recon mission. In and out they said. No more than 48 hours they said.

Well it was now hour 49 and Bucky was still sat in a dodgy motel. Sam was sprawled out on the bed, blanket cocooning him whilst he shivered violently. They were meant to have left a few hours ago, but when Bucky woke up to his partner delirious from fever and coughing like a 90 year old asthmatic life long smoker he knew they weren’t going anywhere that day, except may the hospital if the said fever doesn’t break soon.

Bucky sighed for the hundredth time that morning as he got up to soak the towel in cold water again, returning to the bedside to carefully run the cooling towel over Sam’s sweat soaked brow and neck. Reaching for the thermometer again he checked his partners temperature, the same way he’s been doing every 30 minute for the last 4 hours.

103.8 - shit.

He knew he had to go and get something to bring Sam’s fever down, but he didn’t want to risk Sam waking up alone. Last time he woke up he had no idea where he was, who Bucky was, or what they were doing in a dingy motel together. It took Bucky nearly 45 minutes of batting of Sam’s feeble attempts to fight him and calm explanation for Sam to get with it enough to know who he was and that he was safe. And when that realisation occurred he’d simply collapsed into Bucky’s arms, his body finally feeling secure enough to pass out. That was 2 hours ago, when his fever was only 102.5, so God knows what he’d be like when he came round this time.

Glancing at the clock, it was now 9am. The motel staff would be around now, and Bucky decided the risk was worth the benefit. He slowly and quietly stood up and slid out of the door, glancing back to his still sleeping partners, before heading down to the main desk. A young woman sat there, no more than 24. She eyed him up and down, the usual mix of intrigue and wariness.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes ma’m. Where’s the nearest shop that should stock something for a fever?” Bucky asked, smiling politely and making himself look as non threatening as possible.

“Well that would be at Gordy’s corner shop, but I have some on me here if you’d like? Save you the trip. We can here your... fellow roommate coughing from down the hallway. He sounds like he needs it.”

She hands him a packet of pills, which he accepts gratefully, his smile now genuine.

“Thank you,” he looks at her name tag, “Isabella.”

He walks back to the room, by the end of the corridor he can hear Sam hacking up a lung. He sped up a little, and as he entered the room he was surprised to find that Sam wasn’t in bed. Shutting the door behind him he looked around for the location of the hacking, and his eyes landed on Sam, crouched in the corner of the room, gun aimed straight at Bucky’s head. Fuck, he should have removed the ammunition the minute Sam showed signs of delirium.

Bucky slowly raised his hands in the air in surrender, trying to make himself as small and un-threatening as possible when you’re a massive, muscular, super soldier with a less than inconspicuous metal arm.

“Sam.”

“Who are you? Where am I?”

“Sam, it’s Bucky.” He said, trying to make eye contact with Sam, who was now attempting to stand. As he wobbled dangerously Bucky took a step towards him. Wrong move. Sam trained the gun so the aim was directly between his eyes.

“Where am I?” Sam repeated, his voice breaking as he fights back a cough.

“In a motel. In Chicago. With me, Bucky. We’ve just finished a mission and we were going to leave earlier this morning but you’re sick.”

Sam looked at him with fever glasses eyes, the cogs in his head turning as he tried to follow what was being said.

“Buck?” He asked after a moment, lowering the gun.

“Yeah bud, it’s me.” He replied, stepping across the room and removing the gun from Sam’s hand, emptying the bullets into a dresser draw.

Bucky placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders, guiding him back to the bed.

“Back to bed with you Cap, you need to take these pills then go back to sleep.”

Sitting Sam on the edge of the bed he passed him the glass of water from the bedside table, and pulled the pills out of his pocket, popping two into Sam’s outstretched shaking hand. He downed them in one before collapsing into the bed. Bucky lay the blanket over him, just about refraining from tucking him in like a child.

Sam was asleep almost instantly, worn out from his little half arsed assassination attempt on Bucky. Bucky moved the desk chair back across the room and placed it beside Sam’s bed, taking up the position he’d sat in ever since Sam’s temp had gotten me over 103. He opened his phone and put his headphones in one ear, and continued watching the YouTube videos that Steve kept sending him now he had so much free time, being retired and all.

No more than half an hour later, Sam started coughing. There was no ease into it, he was suddenly spluttering and hacking. He tried to push himself upright but he was coughing too hard. Bucky grabbed his arm and pulled him into the sitting position, keeping his grip on him to stop Sam simply falling over. With his metal arm he gently rubbed circles on Sam’s back, hoping to both reassure and ground the newly titled Captain America. He didn’t fancy another delirious attempted murder scenario. It took a few minutes but Sam was able to take some ragged breaths without coughing. He looked to Bucky weekly.

“You know who I am?” He asked.

Sam have a weak smile, “the pain in my ass that won’t go away?” He rasped, his attempt at humour squashed by another round of coughing.

Bucky handed him the cup of water, which Sam sipped gratefully before flopping back down onto the pillows. Bucky took this as a chance to grab the thermometer and shove it in his ear, earning a feeble glare from Sam.

“101.8, well that’s better. Not great, but better.” Bucky said.

Sam hummed a response, already falling back to sleep. Bucky used this as his chance to cool his partner down further. He went to the bathroom and wet the towel with fresh cold water, before returning to his bedside vigil. He wiped the sweat off of Sam’s brow and neck again.

“Buck I’m a grown ass man.”

“You’re sick.”

“You don’t have to do this, I’m not dying, I’m just sick.”

“I want to help. And I’m not 100% sure on the not dying thing yet you know, best to have someone keeping an eye on you.”

Sam groaned, “ Please just leave me be, this’ll be super embarrassing when I’m with it again.”

“I don’t care Sam” Bucky said, placing a wet cloth over his shivering partner, “we’re brothers now, this is what we do”

Sam huffed a little, but it was completely void of true indignity, as the cooling of the towel pushed him back into sleep.

Bucky sighed, picking his phone up once again. Maybe no was the time to investigate the ebook app he’d downloaded, as it seemed like they wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while.

[singeramg]

Ruin Me

Quick little reader insert imagine based off this post. Based off a non-ask...

*Update: Now a full length story! Check out Masterlist for my chapters?*

Pairing:  CEO! Henry Cavill x Female! Reader

Rating: M

Warnings: Power imbalance, dom! Henry, sub! reader, fingering, dirty talk...

Song choice: Funny How Time Flies- Meshell Ndegeocello

PART 2 HERE

  “ Y/N can you bring me a cup of coffee...please.”

His voice wasn’t raised but his tone told you all you needed to know. 

He was not happy. Not happy at all. 

He had called you from the phone in his office, not even bothering to call through the door or better yet come to the door himself which he usually did when he needed something from you and was in a good mood. You don’t dwell on it much and you get to your feet, and hustle over to break room to make a fresh pot of coffee. 

It doesn’t take long; you wait the ten minutes to brew, taking note that your coworkers are packing up for the night. You look at the clock and realize you better do the same.

Although you have nowhere special to be the last thing you wanted to do on a Friday night was spend more time at the office. You didn’t complain much, the job wasn’t had for you. You hadn’t been with the company long but you were sure you liked it thus far.

You were Executive Assistant to the CEO of Cavill Industries. a company he started with his brothers years ago and had grown to be a world wide force. Henry Cavill may not have been the eldest brother but he certainly was the most determined and invested of the 5 and more so than any man you had met. This was why they made him the CEO. 

You also thought that had something to do with the fact that he honestly was the best looking brother out of all of them.

The face of the company.

He had to stand out in a crowd, oh and Henry Cavill certainly did.

You could admit to no one but yourself that you had found him extremely attractive during your third and final interview where you finally got to meet him. If he wasn’t your boss, he would be exactly the type of guy you went for in terms of looks. Tall, dark curly hair, a jawline that could cut glass, dazzling smile and  sharp blue eyes that seemed to pinpoint everything 

Including any mistakes you made.

He had made adjusting to this new job hard for you.

Pointing out every mistake, forcing you to redo whole reports that people who got paid a lot more than you should have been doing

But nooooo

He ‘trusted ‘ a.k.a could hover over you while you fixed it.’ causing more late nights and overtime than you cared to think about.

Forget a social life, everything had to be about him.

You had to be everything. 

In your job interview nobody had mentioned you would be basically in charge of his life. 

Dry Cleaning, arranging his groceries to be delivered, you were even his dog walker on the days he brought his cute Akita Kal-El to the office. 

Yea that was totally fun in the heels he forced you into everyday.

You had tried wearing respectable flats after your first week with sore feet and he vetoed that almost immediately. 

Saying it wasn’t “seemly“ and that you were the assistant to the CEO and you should dress like it. Needless to say half of the time you wanted to slap him. The other time you were ridiculously turned on. I mean despite being an ass sometimes he played right into your masochistic streak. The way he spoke to you, wasn’t nasty but it had a very direct way that left no room for arguing or confusion. Just like with the heels. You normally would have argued your point, maybe even seen if he would come to some sort of compromise but you didn’t with him. You just kept the flats in your car and a pair under your desk for when you were sitting at your desk and for the days he was out of office. 

That sort of sneaky was not like you at all. You just preferred to pull off the band-aid so to speak, but Mr. Cavill was not for any of that.

All you said to him when the response he wanted was obvious was a yes sir or no sir. 

You made his coffee just as he liked two cubes of sugar, and a splash of cream. He always would like three extra cubes of sugar on the side, adding the extras depending on how his day had been going. The more sugar added the better his day. You walk as smooth as you can to his office, the large dark door. You don’t bother to knock, sliding open the door to his office, begging your heels not to catch on the floor. You sit his coffee on the desk, to his right, and far enough from his hand that he doesn’t accidentally knock it over. 

You smooth out your black mid length dress, and try not to fidget with your red belt that gives a retro theme to the look, and you even had a red purse and red blazer to wear with it (which you had ditched mid-morning). You slip back out the door when he doesn’t look at you. You pick up the tablet you use to keep track of everything on a mobile basis. You pull up his calendar and head back into the large office. 

The office itself had never intimidated you despite the large solid oak desk in the middle of the room. It felt open because of the floor to ceiling windows that had automatic curtains that came down on command. You actually loved his office despite the fact that you didn't spend a lot of time in it. You re-enter his office, and stand in front of the desk looking down at the calendar.

   “Okay before the day ends I would like to go over your schedule for the weekend.”

He finally looked up at you, his blue eyes giving direct contact, that you couldn’t hold and went back to the glowing tablet, where the sun was starting to set outside. 

  “You have a dinner meeting tonight which starts at 6:30pm; a 30 minute commute time which means you need to be out of here in the next 45 minutes,  if you would like to arrive with your 15 minute grace period as normal.”

He doesn’t say anything at first, then takes off the reading glasses off his face and tosses them on the desk.

  “Continue.”

  “ Not too many things on the agenda for this weekend except for family brunch on Sunday. Your mother requests you arrive on time this time.”

You regulate a smirk to the side of your mouth.

  “I’ve arranged for a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to your house by 9am for you to take over there to her.”

  “I don’t suppose I have any missed messages from today?”

You look at him confused.

  “Ummm....no. Were you expecting a call?”

He sighs and rubs the temples of his head, clearly upset something.

  “No...yes...don’t worry about it. You’ve already arranged for a car for me?”

Yep, he was upset and he was not about to share it with you. You didn’t press him, only prayed it didn’t result in a hell of a clean-up for you later. You had been the bad guy with no less than 4 woman, all of them glaring and spiting nasty vitriol at you when you wouldn’t give them access to Henry. You had seen them all come and go.

  “Yes.”

He looks you over, getting to his feet, walking over to the door you knew to be an en-suite bathroom and keeping his extra changes of clothes.

  “ Do you have any plans for tonight?”

He asks you suddenly and puts you on the spot. You don’t even have a lie to cover up how pitiful your life was, but you had to try. He didn’t need to know you don’t have anything planned tonight but a glass of wine and catching up on your TV shows you missed for all the overtime you’ve been working. 

  “Yes.”

  “Like what?”

He asks almost immediately as if knowing you were lying. You had to try and get out of some crazy overtime he was known for. You didn’t want another late night in the office.

 “Ummm...”

As noted earlier you didn’t think well on the spot. He raises an eyebrow at you.

 “You know I don’t appreciate liars Y/N. Anyhow if you are done lying to me, the meeting for tonight requires a...feminine touch.”

 “Feminine touch?”

You echo. He goes into the closet and you can hear him changing. You try not to think about him behind the wall.

 “Yes. The people I am meeting with require a bit of finesse. The negotiations always go better when we bring our women to the meetings.”

“Soo... would you like me to call someone for you. I can have a dress sent over in their size to smooth the deal over.”

He laughs at you.

  “No. Grab your things and call the car service to get here in 10 minutes.”

  “ What stop the press? Are you putting me out of the office before you for once?”

You quip at him. He comes from around the corner his attire changed into a black button down shirt, left with the top few unbuttoned. He adjusts the sleeves and looks up with you.

  “No you are going with me Y/N and we must hurry, you are going to require another dress.”

  “But...”

  “No buts. I need you and you are wasting time.”

He picks up a black suit jacket, his cologne hitting you with an umpf he walks by you to get to the car...

*********

The dinner had gone great from what you could tell. You saw a whole other side of Henry. One that was only observed under the rarest of occasions. 

At least for you.

Overall you weren’t asked for much, Henry had bought you another black dress only this one was a bit more leggy than you were used to around such important people. Its spaghetti strapped and sweetheart neckline, offering way more cleavage than you would ever consider wearing around him, but Henry had literally come in with you, pulling it from the rack along with a few other choices and this was the tamest all the options he left you. You damn near had a panic attack in the dressing room. The women in the boutique had fixed your hair and makeup in the little amount of time you had, once again at Henry’s behest. You hadn’t be so pulled together since... well you couldn’t remember....

Henry had even been nice to you all evening, but you knew it was all an act, even if your body did respond to the compliments and lingering looks, the smile he would shoot you, he had even let his hands skim across your lower back. 

You did your best not to read into anything. Had even gone along with the little game he was playing, being over sweet, playing with the curls on the nape of his neck, your hands lingering on his arms. Enough to suggest without being outwardly desperate and trashy. You were ever the smiling damsel to his associates, laughing at the jokes, ignoring the sexist comments about your dress or the ‘arm candy’ they referred to you as, despite it pissing you off.

You stayed to yourself most for the ride back to the office, and he stays quiet as well. Only then once the car parks do you realize in your haste earlier you left your keys upstairs. He insists he needs to come up as well to grab some files from his desk. You offer to bring them back down but he insists. You scurry to your desk, not finding them in the drawer where you usually kept your purse. 

You don’t see them. You panic and look for them intensely.

Oh you hoped you didn’t leave them at the boutique where you changed dresses. 

  “Y/N. Could you come in here please? I would like to discuss something with you before you leave.”

He calls to you, the voice losing the soft tone he had with you all night, this only serves to make your blood run cold. Have you done something wrong? Said the wrong thing to the wrong person and cost him millions of dollars? You needed your job, and hoped pretty badly that this wasn’t the end of it.

You honestly couldn’t tell if you missed it or not. You disregard the thoughts you are having and push them back in your mind, offering to sort them out later. Preferably with alcohol nearby. You look into his office and see that he is standing behind his desk. Once you come in, thinking he needed something from you.

  “Close the door.”

You close the door behind you, the lights on a dim shade, enough for you to see but not enough to over power your eyes. 

  “Did you need anything from me, because it’s late and I should be heading home...”

He surprises you by cutting you off in a tone that was even softer than any other time he had used with you before. 

   “I just wanted to say thank you for accompanying me tonight y/n.”

  “You are Welcome. I’m just going to go...”

You smile and turn to leave but his voice stops you with a sharp tone that makes you freeze.

   “Did I say you could leave?”

You feel your face get hot and you turn back around to face him. The lighting only showcasing the angles of his face, making you ever more nervous. 

   “No but Sir it's 12am...”

    “I know what time it is. You are so stubborn all the time. Can’t even take a simple compliment.”

  “I thought you were done.”

You shrug, and immediately regret being so nonchalant with him., his gaze intense.

   “I wasn’t. Now before you interrupted me, I was saying thank you not only because you came with me but for playing your role so effortlessly. I didn’t expect you to be so ...reciprocating to me.”

  “I figured that would be best. How would it appear if you showed up with a staff member we rather than a significant other like the other at the table.”

  “Well your quick and astute observation saved me tonight.”

  “All in a day's work. Now if I can just get out of these heels tonight and maybe into a pedicure tomorrow I will have made this all worth while.”

He surprises you by coming from behind the desk where he had been standing, coming to stand in front of you.

And you cursed yourself because it was back again.

The arousal you fought with every lingering look and touch he gave you tonight. How honeyed his words were with you, combined with the animalistic power you knew was just boiling under the surface. 

  “I have had many secretaries before and none of them take your position as seriously as you do. You put a lot of effort into your job and does not go unnoticed.”

Having him so close was unnerving. Especially when you had his direct attention. You can’t hold eye contact and look down at the floor. Henry touches your chin, his fingers tilt your chin up and you lock eyes. It wasn’t the first time you noticed the space of brown in his left eye, but the first time you were close enough to appreciate it. 

You feel your pulse quickening.

 “I don’t think I told you how beautiful you look tonight.”

He blinks slowly and you don’t breathe at all as his lips move toward your own. He is seconds away from kissing you, tension heavy in the room.

  “Wait....Henry...I just...I Can’t go there.”

You say it out loud and it’s like someone let the air out of your balloon. He lets your face go and looks at you confused, for the first time you see just Henry. Not your boss, not the CEO who always had to be ‘on’ and in charge, you just saw Henry. His face was open and unguarded.

  “It’s not that I don’t want you. It’s just you are my boss...”

Henry moves suddenly, and yet simultaneously time slows as he crashes his lips onto yours. The odd duality of soft, yet firm, calming yet passionate overtakes your mind and short circuits you. His hands are holding the side of your face on one side and behind your neck. His kiss steals what little breath you had away. You almost forget why this would have been such a bad idea but he pulls away.

  “Darling, Didn’t anyone tell you? The boss makes the rules...”

He resumes kissing you and you offer little in the way of resistance as he picks you up, in fact you lock your legs around his waist and he deposits you on top of his desk. Everything you had been feeling for him was bubbling up in that moment. You were caught in being wanted to be treated like silk and wanting to toss him down and take exactly what you wanted in no uncertain terms of hatefucking him for all the jackass behavior he had exhibited since you started 6 months ago. 

You slide his jacket off his broad shoulders, tossing it to the room, igniting the soft thud it makes when the expensive thing lands in a heap on the floor. He pulls your hips toward the edge of the desk and his large hands are hot as they slide up your skirt over trembling thighs and his lips move to your neck. He finds the sensitive spots there quicker than anyone ever had while also moving his fingers to play with your clit through the lining of the black lace panties you were wearing. 

Your breath hitches in your throat and Henry grins against your lips, letting you take a second before he kisses you again. His fingers dance around before latching to the hemline and yanking them with enough force that they are torn from your body. Your hips sting from the pull, but you are more than turned on. You fumble with the buttons on his shirt, and don’t look at the skin revealed, but he doesn’t let you take it off him and instead pushes one of his fingers inside of you, you lewdly moan, and grasp his biceps quickly, having been taken off guard. It wasn’t that you weren’t wet, because you were plenty wet, your now ruined panties had been testament to that, but you had expected more of a playful teasing, but as one of your last coherent thoughts, you knew this man never wasted time. 

He was a do-er... 

And right now he was doing you. The amount of focus and precision he took in his work, pouring over contracts, logs, inventory and the like, he was putting in on you. As his finger moves in and out he is staring at you with such intensity you think you might explode.

  “You are dripping baby girl. Melting right into the palm of my hand to be exact.”

He removes the finger that had been inside of you, raising it to his lips, tasting you from it, and you shudder. He kisses you again, you closing your eyes, then you hear in his deep tone like melted chocolate, luxurious to your ears,

  “Open your eyes and suck them.”

He held two of his fingers and you opened your mouth. He wanted to hold your gaze.

 “Get them nice and wet for me.”

You suck on them, imaging the girth that had been teasing you for months in his sacks, was what was actually in your mouth. You had wanted so badly to taste him and feel him you reach down, palming his obvious erection and you hear him growl. It was your turn to smirk, and as soon as he felt that smirk, he pulled his two fingers from your mouth and thrusts them into you. 

You whimper and the one hand you left on his bicep clenched in, digging into his skin. His fingers glide in and out almost painfully slow. You need faster.You try to move your hips to make him move but he chuckles.

  “That won’t work y/n. We do this at my pace. Be still or I will stop.”

He didn’t go any faster, his movements deliberately slow. You could tell he was getting a kick out this, and you whine again. 

    “Beg kitten.”

He whispers in your ear, his thumb teasing your clit again. 

   “Please.”

He moves a little faster.

  “Come on love. You can do better than that.” Teasing.

  “Please Henry...”

He slaps your thigh with a sharp tap and it sends the zing of arousal.

“That's not what you call me. Try again.”

While your brain is shorting out, you fumble on what he wants from you.

 “I..i don’t know sir...”

He rewards you by speeding up more. Your torso drops backwards, your head follows as you rest back on your elbows, and legs move wider, making your dress bunch up around your hips. 

 “There you go. There’s what I was looking for. Now beg me to make you come.”

You worry your bottom lip, ignoring how your chest heaves, pulling against the black fabric of the dress. 

  “Fuck! Please sir please let me cum.”

  “That’s more like it. Begging me like the dirty little slut you are.”

He speeds up, his fingers curling inside, tapping that spongy space that made your eyes cross and your vision blur. You didn’t think you would like being called a ‘little slut’ but it was more of a turn on than you had ever thought it would be. 

  “Sir let me cum please let me cum.”

His dexterous fingers speed up, his thumb rubbing your clit and you were glad no one else was in the office as your moans echo throughout the room.

  “You want to be my good girl hmmm?”

You nod furiously, the edge of your orgasm coming up rapidly, as your walls begin their tell-tell sign of fluttering.

  “Good girls wait until they have permission. You hold it.”

It was damn near impossible, but you try to focus on anything but how good his fingers feel. He pulls your body back up from the desk with his hand gripping behind your neck. His lips crash on your again, he lingers around your lips you breathe heavily against his lips.

  “I’ll be your good girl!”

You yell.

  “Good. Cum then come for me.”

It’s like the world goes silent and all you can focus on is his fingers as your orgasm pulls you under. It’s an out of body experience where you could hear your moans and groans of Henry’s name, where you were literally shaking, but you could bring yourself down. Destroyed, Henry is whispering praises in your ear. Calling you his and how good you were for him. It doesn’t take long to come back down, but when you do you feel wrung out, and as Henry pulls away, you notice the sheen of fine layered sweat on his forehead. You feel self conscious as he stares down  at you, and without the haze of lust in your eyes it settles in you that your boss just gave you one of the best orgasms of your life and hadn’t even taken off his pants. 

Pants that were currently begging you to be taken off. He begins to chuckle and you realize you’ve been staring at his cock outline, and he was laughing at you. He unbuttons his pants, and finally takes off his shirt the rest of the way, finally revealing the god sculpted body that he clearly worked for.

The look on his face says he is going to ruin you and you are going to like it.

Only then, as he begins to work on the zipper to your dress,  do you look to your left on the desk and see your keys sitting there...

***************

A/n: Hope that was what you were looking for @thiccgeralt​  Hope this met your expectations and thank you! 

I am thinking of coming back to this, but honestly I am waiting until @laketaj24​ finishes her CEO! fic The Rules, because its so freaking wonderful and I don’t want to ruin anything by stealing any thunder with a CEO fic OR Ficlet I would plan on doing. BTW if you haven’t read The Rules then please do yourself a favor a go over to her page and check out all of her work. You will not regret a second of it....

However I am tossing this out to see if there would be any interest in a continuation of this fic. Let me know and as always thank you for reading, re-blogging, and liking!

Henry Cavill Taglist: (OPEN! Let me know if this is something you want on!

@msblkfire84  @magdelen69​ 

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 23 December 1834

9 20

1 5

(go by the Lawton clocks) Breakfast at 10 20 – then sat talking till 12 – from 12 to 2 walked (about 2 miles) to see a poor man (James Shaw) confined to his bed those 30 weeks from having fallen into a hot saltpan – luncheon with Mr L- in his room (I not eating) then sat talking in M-‘s sitting room – out at 4, for 40 minutes – walked to the Lodge to see Mrs Grantham and a couple of neat new cottages near the Lodge and close to the canal – then sat talking in my dressing room till 5 40 – dressed – dinner at 6 10 – coffee – tea - read a little of the Globe of today – came upstairs at 10 ½ and M- sat with me ½ hour – sealed and gave her my letter written last night to A- (Shibden) to be put into the post office before 9am tomorrow – annoyed this morning to find I was too late for today’s post – the letters must be there at 9 and the mail goes at 10 Told π- she had never come to me to see if I was up this morning She said she would but thought I should not like it  I was rather attendrie this morning particularly after our walk she told Mr Crewe had been with her at Scarbro’ glad I had not heard of it in York and that she herself was first to tell me of it he said he hoped to [see] her happy with the friend she liked best staying with her at Warmingham meaning to have me with them I asked

SH:7/ML/E/17/0128

if she did not think this speech plain enough she said it had not struck her much but at last owned it was pretty plain tho’ she still says she never was in love with him and wonders if she ever shall be I calmly said oh yes all that would come she told me Mr C- was very calm on that subject in telling her a story on a chère amie of Brooke Grevilles said but he and his friend could very well do without those domestic comforts she still persists that all the love is for me I led the conversation to A- said I really liked was more than comfortable and that whatever might be said money had nothing to do with it  π- asked if it was true that she has three thousand a year I said no but our fortunes would be about equal and that we should have five thousand a year said I had thought of her the first thing after π-‘s break off I was thankful things were as they were for I was determined to have one and certainly could not have done better Charlotte said A- was not ladylike and she and Mrs Milne thought she would not be flattered if she saw her successor but that I could not do without money π- took all well said she thought I had done right and perhaps she herself was the cause of if      they wondered      Mr C- does not like Mrs Milne she behaved sarcastically and he expected better things after all the trouble he had taken about Hamlyn he wished π- to get her uncle and Lou to go to Geneva next summer π- to join them  and then he and his two boys would join them all at Geneva and make a tour for with her uncle there could be nothing wron[g] I made no remark but this explained the passage she read from Lou’s letter that came today  that with a little persuasion she thought her uncle might be got to go to Geneva  tho’ she had preferred Scotland on account of not leaving her mother so far  This proves π- had thought on the plan and seriously too perhaps she wished to sound me what will the world say?   she protests she feels towards only as a brother well nous verrons I told her that but for him I might have acted differently   said I read her last letter to A- but she did not understand it I had told all that was necessary but not quite all that is not of our connection nor did any know of this or ever would this seemed to satisfy her said I was not quite satisfied with her brother’s conduct about Clifton to his mother in paying with so much difficulty nor with his management with his wife and that he had latterly left A- ten day unvisited by him but this not to be named any more than the brandy and water drunk by Miss Bagshaw at Miss Bewley’s ----- π- has seemed low today at intervals it seems she does not now like  Miss Wilbraham who has interfered with friendly society etc Mr C- says how worldly they all are and he cannot endure them somehow I do not like this π- says Mr C- was never conscious of his feelings towards till Mr L’s conduct to him at Mr Wood’s in 1831 I cannot quite understand π- she shews me she is still in love with me I might have her heretofore without much difficulty she says she is glad to see me but talks on the difference  there is when my interest is hung on another peg I asked tonight if I was not as much attached and as affectionate as she wished me to be she made no answer I pressed her to say yes and she merely replied ‘yes you are very affectionate’     She has kissed me as warmly as she dared venture and has given me licence enough if I chose to take it  but in answer ‘ do you love me’ my yes indeed I do bespoke nothing beyond friendship the fact is I am really indifferent to her but she would lead me astray if she could  she will send a present to A- sorry I had proposed it as it was her own intention   δ-  and I very good friends  But no more.  Very fine frosty day - no use to look at my thermometer - my dressing room having a good fire in it - wrote all the above of today from 11 ½ to 12 ½ tonight.

[lasting-inkpressions]

Why not me? (Chapter Five)

Summary: Denali has been single all his life, and has always been secretly envious of everyone around him being able to find love so easily. Rosé proposes the perfect solution for his best friend.

Note: Warning, intense sweetness ahead.

Prefer reading it on AO3?

The faint sound of his alarm clock stirred Denali from his slumber, and he groaned, feeling around for his alarm clock. He really needed to remember to turn it off during the weekends. Sighing sleepily, he turned around only to come face to face with a sleeping Rosé. Denali froze, conscious of the fact that the other boy was still asleep and that they were almost nose to nose. Denali gulped and scooted back a little and turned away from the older boy.

Why was Rosé in his bed? Still drowsy from sleep, Denali wracked his brain for a minute before recalling his meltdown from last night. The little meltdown that had been the result of realising that he just might be catching feelings for his best friend and temporary boyfriend.

And Rosé had been right there for him, never pushing, always patient, just offering him comfort and support. The perfect epitome of a best friend.

And boyfriend.

Why did Rosé have to be so god damn perfect at everything he did?

Before he could even begin to overthink everything again, Denali felt arms snaking around his waist and pull him towards a warm and solid chest.

“Good morning, baby.”

His heart thumped at the affectionate term, his cheeks flushing. He’d heard Rosé call him that a thousand times, but to be lying in bed, in his arms, and have him say it in that deep, sleep husky voice of his? That just hit differently. He squirmed when he felt the older boy nuzzle his neck affectionately, warmth pooling in his belly at how clingy and affectionate Rosé was in the morning. Turning his head to look at Rosé, his heart thumped even harder when he saw the abject fondness in Rosé’s sleepy eyes, and he couldn’t help but smile in response.

“Good morning, Rosie.”

Rosé smiled back as he took in the younger boy’s face, and he stroked Denali’s cheek with his forefinger. “There’s the blush that I know and love.”

Denali bit the inside of his cheeks in an attempt to stop them from flushing even more, slightly embarrassed at how susceptible he still was to blushing. He thought that he had finally overcome that problem when it came to Rosé’s advances, but it looks like that wasn’t the case. Denali turned his head away when he realised how hot his cheeks felt, and Rosé chuckled at the younger boy’s attempt to hide away.

“No no Nali, don’t hide your adorable face from me. Come here.”

The younger boy whined at that, burying his face in his hands immediately when Rosé tried to turn him around, not wanting to give in to his teasing.

Why did the older boy have to have such an effect on him?

“Go away Rosie, you’re annoying.”

Rosé’s whole body shook in his attempt to smother his laughter and the fondness that was rising in his chest. When his attempts to turn Denali to face him failed, Rosé proceeded to climb on top of him, straddling his waist. Taking hold of Denali’s wrists, Rosé pried Denali’s hands part and grinned down at his blushing face.

“Hey there, my cute little boyfriend.”

Denali pouted, just a little ruffled. “I am not cute.” He didn’t really like being called cute, though for some reason when Rosé said it, he found that he didn’t really mind it. Of course, he wasn’t about to let the older boy know that. Then again, Rosé could probably get way with just about anything with him. Denali stuck his tongue out at Rosé and made a face, as if to prove his point. It backfired and instead caused Rosé to laugh, the fondness in his eyes growing before a familiar look took over.

Oh no, Denali knew that look. It was a look he was very much familiar with.

“Rosé, don’t you fucking dare- ROSIE!”

Denali choked out a laugh and struggled to escape from beneath the older boy when Rosé began to attack his sides with his fingers, squirming as he tried to dodge his tickles. “Ro- Rosie, stop it!”

“Say please.”

“Pl- Please... Stop being a brat!”

Stopping for a second to gasp in mock hurt, Rosé resumed to tickle the younger boy.

“Just for that, I’m not going stop until you agree to give me a morning kiss.”

“That’s. Not. Fair.”

“Well?”

Denali tried to control his laughter, but his sides spasmed as Rosé relentlessly attacked his sides.

“Fi- Fine! Okay!”

Rosé stopped once Denali conceded, smiling triumphantly as the younger boy panted, trying to catch his breath. God, was his boyfriend evil.

“I’m waiting for my kiss, boyfriend.”

Rolling his eyes, Denali pushed himself up so that he was level with Rosé and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, ignoring how his heart skipped a beat and how he sort of liked the feeling of Rosé’s morning stubble tickling his lips. The older boy grinned and turned his face, tapping his other cheek. “The other one too.”

“You said a kiss, meaning only one.”

“I changed my mind, I want one on each cheek now.”

Rolling his eyes at the boy’s childish antics, Denali leaned forward again, pressing a kiss to Rosé’s other cheek and pulled away, biting back a smile. “You happy now?” Denali asked. The older boy turned to look at Denali, eyes warm as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss of his own to Denali’s left cheek, then right.

“Now I am. Now come on, it’s time for our date.” Denali raised his eyebrows as Rosé got out of bed, stretching his back once he was out. “Date? But it’s only 9am.” Also, this was the first time Rosé had explicitly used the word date. Usually, he’d just bring Denali out or suggest things. What did Rosé have in mind this time?

“Well yeah, the drive is going to take an hour or two, so if you want to have lunch on time, you better get your butt out of bed.”

“Drive?”

————————————————————————

Turns out there was a carnival set up just at the outskirts of town, and Rosé had thought that it was the perfect place to bring Denali for a weekend date. He also made sure to call it a date this time so that his intentions were loud and clear from the get go, something he hadn’t done the past few times they had gone out. Despite Denali at first whining about having to get out of bed on a Saturday morning and dragging his feet, the drive had gone off without a hitch.

At first, Rosé hadn’t want to tell Denali where he was taking him to, but had relented once he caught sight of the younger’s wide pleading eyes and dimples. He knew that he was doomed to always be charmed by Denali, a curse he was willing to bear for the rest of his life if he could have the boy all to himself. When Denali had found out where they were going, he had squealed in excitement and started to talk about all the things they could do together, while Rosé had nodded along to everything he said.

By the time they neared their destination, it was just past noon. It was little too hot to be walking around under the sun when it was at its peak, so being the ever gracious boyfriend, Rosé had made sure to drive them both to a nearby diner for lunch. The place had been packed with other locals who had the same idea as Rosé, but thankfully they had managed to get a table. They had both decided to share a BLT sandwich and fries, as well as a large milkshake, not wanting to fill up too much before hitting the carnival. Finishing up their food in record time, they both piled back into the car and they had driven the last 30 minutes there.

Once there, Denali was buzzing with energy and excitement as he dragged Rosé from stall to stall, eyeing each booth filled with stuffed animals that he was itching to win. Rosé didn’t say anything, and was instead content with just watching the younger boy bounce around, and relishing in the fact that Denali hadn’t once let go of his hand after they’d left the car. Denali had stopped at one of the booths and turned to Rosé, puppy eyes coming out as he looked at him.

“Rosie, can we try a few games? I want to try winning some prizes.” Rosé shook his head, much to the younger’s disappointment. “Maybe later baby. I don’t think you’d want to have your hands full when you’re sitting in the rides, would you?” Denali contemplated his point for a moment, before nodding. “You’re right, let’s go for the rides first, then hit the games!”

Denali dragged him over to the nearest ride, and all Rosé could do was let himself be led by the boy he loved so much.

They spent the next few hours going on almost every ride, from the tilt-a-whirl to bumper cars and the roller coasters. By the time were done trying out most of the rides, they were both a little tired out. They sat on one of the benches to rest, fanning themselves as best as they could with their hands in the late afternoon heat.

“Hey Rosie, stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Rosé nodded, not questioning Denali as he wandered off. He came back within 10 minutes, his arms loaded with a few carnival snacks and cold slushies. He spread out the food on the bench and passed the icy drink to Rosé, much to the older boy’s relief. Denali was happily pulling at a funnel cake with his fingers and popping the sugary treat in his mouth. When Rosé set the drink down on the bench, Denali tore off a piece of the funnel cake and held it out to the older boy. “Try this Rosie, it’s really good and it’s still warm.”

The older boy looked at the piece Denali held between fingers. He figured that Denali was expecting him to just take it with his own fingers, but he chose to lean forward and slowly take it with his mouth instead, his eyes never leaving Denali’s, his lips grazing the younger’s fingers as he did so. Rosé pulled back and chewed as he watched Denali’s expression morph from an innocent smile to a stunned one.

Rosé may be a patient man, but that didn’t meant he wasn’t going to play dirty.

He winked at Denali as he swallowed.

“You’re right, baby. That is good.”

The younger boy nodded dumbly and went back to his funnel cake, Rosé chuckling under his breath as he took another sip of his slushie.

Denali’s cheeks weren’t pink, but his ears sure were.

————————————————————————

It was well into the evening by the time the two of them were done with the game stalls in the carnival. The two had predictably been competitive in trying to see who could win the most prizes. That was something that hadn’t changed despite their change in relationship status, the competitive streak that they both had. By the time they had finished up at the last stall, both their arms had been overloaded with stuffed toys of all shapes, sizes and colours. They had laughed at each other, and Denali had proclaimed it was a tie. They’d gotten a passerby to take a photo of the two of them holding all the prizes that they’d won together before giving out almost of them to the kids at the carnival, knowing that neither of them would want to keep them all anyways. In the end, Rosé had been left with a stuffed pink teddy bear and Denali a large multicoloured quetzal plushie.

Knowing that there were fireworks happening soon, Rosé tugged Denali towards the large ferris wheel in the middle of the carnival grounds. They’d gotten into the cab and were sitting in a comfortable silence as the cab slowly moved up. Denali was looking out the glass window, eyes reflecting the bright colourful lights beneath them, his face full of innocent wonder. Rosé couldn’t believe how lucky he was to even be able to be in this position where this beautiful boy was his, even for just a short time.

He knew he had offered to be Denali’s temporary boyfriend for a month, but deep inside, he was hoping that it wouldn’t end once their month was up. He didn’t know how he was going to let go of Denali, and whether he even wanted to. As he continued watching the boy with a wistful expression, he resolved that he would do whatever it took to keep him. He could tell that whatever that they had now was developing beyond platonic feelings, and he could see it in the way Denali was reacting to every advance he made. Rosé hadn’t meant for it to go the way that it did, and he had originally wanted to give him up once their month was up. But now that he’d had a taste, he didn’t want to let him go.

Rosé wanted to be able to call Denali his forever.

Denali turned to him, eyes soft and dimples showing. “Thank you Rosé, for everything.”

He swallowed, entranced by Denali’s expression, and nodded as he smiled back. “Anything for you, Denali.” Carefully moving to sit next to him, Rosé brushed a stray lock of hair back into place, causing Denali to suck in a breath.

The air started to feel charged between them, and Denali shifted in his seat, eyes falling to his lap as he hugged the plushie in his arms, suddenly feeling shy at the look Rosé was giving him. There was a beat of silence before he felt calloused fingers tilt his head up, and his brown eyes connected with warm hazel ones. Rosé held his gaze before he leaned forward, stopping just a centimetre away from Denali, as if asking for permission. Blinking slowly, Denali licked his lips, causing Rosé’s eyes to dart down as his tongue flicked out. Looking back into Denali’s eyes, Rosé tilted his head and leaned forward pausing one final second to give Denali a chance to back away, before finally pressing their lips together in a soft kiss.

In that moment, it was as if the missing piece had slid into the puzzle, and everything just felt right.

————————————————————————

Looks like Rosé's finally made up his mind on what he wants, and it looks like Denali might be leaning into it? Who knows.

I really hope this chapter was worth the wait, especially with how it ended. If any of you get cavities, it wasn't me!

[sparkandwolf]

Perfect Pitch (read on ao3)

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale Rating: Explicit Summary: Stiles raced down the steps with Lydia hot on his tail and when he got to the railing, he leaped over and ran toward Derek, jumping into his arms excitedly. It could have been perceived as a friendly hug between one pride-filled player who just hit in the winning runs and one ecstatic Mets fan, but Stiles had known better if the way Derek’s arms squeezed around his waist had anything to say about it.

His thoughts were definitely confirmed as Derek whispered, “It takes 15 minutes for everyone to clear out of the locker room after a win. Meet me there in 20.”

For Kinktober Day #23: Shower Sex

second chapter to Caught Looking

There was not much Stiles loved more than watching a baseball game with a too-large, cold cup of soda and a bag of stadium popcorn. He sat behind the Mets dugout with his feet propped up against the railing in front of him, yelling some absurdities at the ump with a dopey smile on his face. 

“Call it for both teams like a good ally! What the hell kind of strike zone is that?!” Stiles yelled as he tossed a handful of popcorn on top of the dugout causing Lydia to smack his arm and send him a pleading. Stiles thought his actions were called for, more so by the smirk Derek sent in his direction from his spot at home plate.

“As your publicist, I need you to stop tarnishing your image,” Lydia said sternly when Stiles tore his eyes away from the field. 

“And as my friend?” Stiles said hopefully, tossing a piece of popcorn into her hair with a laugh. She grabbed it furiously and threw it back at him, hitting him straight in the cheek, only excelling his laughter. He went to scoop another handful, but her motions were quicker as she grabbed the offending bag from him with a huff. Stiles looked at her full of faux shock, his mouth gaping open. 

“As your friend, I need you to stop being such an idiot,” she finished, tossing back a few pieces of his snack smugly. Stiles grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest before focusing back on the game. Derek was at bat, two strikes against him with two men on base. The Mets were down by two at the bottom of the ninth and Stiles could feel the tension rising in the crowd. Unfortunately, Derek wasn’t known for his batting average. It wasn’t bad, by any means, but with the pressure they were under, it would’ve been preferable to have Boyd at the plate. Stiles chewed on his thumb, leaning forward to watching as the pitcher stepped back after an affirmative nod. 

Derek had a strict process for when it was his turn at the plate; the pitch would come in, the ump would call it, Derek would step back with one foot in the box (as per the new and utterly stupid rules) and look for direction from the third base coach. Then, he would watch as the pitcher debated his next throw, eyes unmoving from him until the next pitch came in. His eyes were on the coach or the pitcher at all times no matter what else was going on around him and he never broke from that. 

Derek had stepped out, glanced at the third base coach who had no direction, and watched the pitcher as he stepped back in and rested the bat against his broad shoulder. That time, though, his eyes wandered over to Stiles, eyeing him with every bit of intensity he had in him. Stiles stared back at him, hoping his shock wasn’t too obvious on his face, and sent him a wink. He hoped it said, “win this game and you’re fucking me in the locker room.” 

It must have said something, because as the pitch came in, slower than Stiles had expected, Derek waited on his back foot. He leaned that extra half a second and slammed it with the barrel of his bat. It flew over the heads of everyone on the green, narrowly missing the left field foul pole, and floated into the stands. The ump raised his arms to signify the fair ball and before Stiles could stop himself, he launched from his seat. He cupped his hands over his mouth and hollered before tugging Lydia up and into a frantic hug as they celebrated together. 

The music blasted through the speakers as Derek rounded third, his teammates gathered around the plate to await that final step. Derek jumped up and landed on the plate and the crowd roared like thunder. Stiles felt like he was vibrating with the energy on the field alone and then Derek looked at him. He threw off his helmet and winked in Stiles’ direction before nodding his head toward the dugout gate. 

Stiles raced down the steps with Lydia hot on his tail and when he got to the railing, he leaped over and ran toward Derek, jumping into his arms excitedly. It could have been perceived as a friendly hug between one pride-filled player who just hit in the winning runs and one ecstatic Mets fan, but Stiles had known better if the way Derek’s arms squeezed around his waist had anything to say about it. 

His thoughts were definitely confirmed as Derek whispered, “It takes 15 minutes for everyone to clear out of the locker room after a win. Meet me there in 20.”

Before Stiles could answer, Derek was pulled away by a reporter hoping for his first game-winning interview, and Stiles was redirected by Lydia for his own bit of press. The minute Stiles lost sight of the rest of the team in the locker room, he was counting down, glancing at the outfield clock every few seconds. Twenty minutes seemed to drag on as everyone cleared the stadium and the only people left were Stiles, Lydia, some press, and the field maintainers. 

“You ready to go?” Lydia asked after she shook the final hand of the night. Stiles raised an eyebrow at her and couldn’t stop his gaze from wandering to the door leading into the locker rooms behind the dugout. Lydia sighed heavily and rolled her head back, clicking her tongue disappointingly in the process. She righted her head and tilted her head at Stiles, pursing her lips in thought. 

“Is there anything I can say to stop you from fucking the hot catcher in a semi-public place, risking the perfectly crafted image I have created for you?” Lydia asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Stiles bit down on his lip and gazed over her shoulder with a nod, pretending to consider her words. 

He didn’t have to think long before he decided, “Absolutely nothing.” Stiles jumped as the timer on his phone sounded and the spike of anticipation that raced down his spine was almost overwhelming. He sent a pleading look toward Lydia who just waved her hand at him and started up the steps of the stadium. 

“You have an 8am interview with the local radio station. Be back at the hotel by 7:30,” Lydia demanded and Stiles nodded noncommittally as he made his way to the dugout. “I mean it, Stiles! 7:30!” Lydia shouted after him and Stiles opted to ignore her words in favor of darting to the door he had seen Derek and the rest of the team disappear through. He weaved his way through the maze of underground tunnels until he heard the slam of a locker and a bit of chatter. He tried to hide behind a wall, but Isaac and Boyd rounded the corner with knowing smirks on both of their faces when they caught sight of Stiles. 

“Stiles, right? Nice first pitch. Gonna give the newbie here a run for his money,” Boyd teased as he jabbed his elbow into Isaac’s ribs. Isaac glared at him but there was no heat in it as he rolled his eyes. 

Isaac sent a wave toward the locker room and said, “We’ve got a 9am warmup.” Stiles sputtered out an ‘okay’ when he realized the words were directed at him and a blush covered his cheeks. So much for being stealthy, he thought to himself as he wandered into the locker room. He wasn’t quite sure where the sudden onslaught of nervousness was coming from, but he figured it had to do with the intimidatingly good looking man that appeared in front of him. Derek was shirtless with only a towel around his waist and his face was still smudged with dirt from the game. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I must have come too quickly,” Stiles said quickly, turning to face the lockers as if he had walked in on a private moment. 

“Not yet, you haven’t,” Derek countered as he reached for Stiles’ hand to turn him back around. Derek had a teasing smirk on his face and his toned abs were just right there and from that moment on, Stiles wasn’t positive he had any control over his actions. He surged toward Derek and connected their lips in a fiery kiss, the sheer force of it enough to knock Derek into the tiled half wall behind him. It was a mess of teeth and tongues as if they were putting all of the energy they had pent up from their earlier flirtation into one simple kiss. Derek’s mind seemed to catch up to Stiles’ actions as his hands gripped at Stiles’ waist to tug him closer. Stiles rutted his hips and he could have sworn Derek growled into the kiss. 

“Jesus Christ, Stiles,” Derek muttered as he tore his mouth away from the kiss. Stiles felt like he couldn’t stop; like he needed the taste of Derek on his lips to survive. His lips trailed down Derek’s now exposed neck, uncaring for the salt and dirt that his taste buds argued against before his hand ran down his chest and landed at the edge of the towel. The feeling of the fabric was enough to knock into Stiles that he had just attacked Derek before he even had a chance to shower off the adrenalin of the game. Embarrassment washed through him rapidly and when he tried to back away - to apologize and run out of the room like the coward he was - Derek’s fingers squeezed his hips to keep him in place. 

“I don’t know why-- I just-- Look at you and--” Stiles had known he was a stuttering mess as he repeated the same phrases over and over again, but he couldn’t stop as his eyes trailed down the slightly dusty chest in front of him. 

“Yeah?” Derek said with a gulp, his throat bobbing as Stiles pressed his palms against the hard plains of Derek’s chest and abs before letting his hands rest on Derek’s broad shoulders. 

“I thought your Sports Illustrated cover was photoshopped.” Stiles wasn’t sure why he decided that was the safest thing to say and he shook his head in shame as he glanced back up at Derek. The amused smirk on Derek’s face had him blushing a little deeper as he slid a hand behind Derek’s neck to thread his fingers in his signature dark hair. “They can’t photoshop that trademark Derek Hale smirk, though,” Stiles commented and he felt his stomach jump when the smirk turned into a full grin, teeth and all. Derek had an incredible smile which really shouldn’t have surprised Stiles as everything about him was beautiful, but the sight had Stiles suddenly self-conscious. 

“You’re kind of adorable,” Derek noted with a tilt of his head. Any insecurities that Stiles might have had washed away as Derek leaned back against the wall behind him and let his eyes wander over Stiles’ body. Stiles was all too aware of the way his shirt had started sticking to his skin with sweat and how his pants were too tight against his thighs. “That’s not exactly what I would choose to wear to a baseball game,” Derek commented as he grabbed the material of Stiles’ shirt and tugged at it playfully. 

“I don’t exactly have a choice when it comes to promotional events, now do I?” Stiles said as he actively ignored the hardness growing in his jeans. He cursed Lydia for her choice of attire as he grew uncomfortably against Derek. 

“I still have to shower,” Derek mentioned as he cocked his head behind him to where cleanliness awaited him and Stiles huffed out a laugh before dropping his hands back to his sides. 

“Yeah, you should do that. I can, uh, wait over--” Before Stiles could turn, Derek slid a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him into another kiss. Their lips moved together slowly until Derek pulled Stiles’ bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth, suckling softly as the fingers of his free hand played with the bottom of Stiles’ shirt. 

“Or,” Derek started as he brushed his thumb across Stiles’ happy trail slowly, “you can join me.” That was an offer that Stiles would have been a fool to refuse. He nodded slowly, his eyes floating open as he licked his lips to savor the taste of Derek on his tongue. Derek ushered him into one of the more private stalls in the back of the locker room before gripping the bottom of Stiles’ shirt and pulling it over his head, tossing it into the stall next to them. 

Stiles pouted at him and pointed out, “I don’t have any other clothes to wear out of here.” Derek shrugged as his lips attached to Stiles’ newly exposed shoulder. He placed a spattering of kisses on the freckled skin, licking a line across his collarbone before moving back to his lips. Stiles hummed into the kiss and promptly forgot about everything that wasn’t Derek’s warm hands on his skin. 

“I have plenty of spare clothes in here,” Derek murmured against Stiles’ lips as Stiles craned his neck to deepen the kiss just a little more. Derek pressed him against the wall with an expert roll of his hips before he pulled away just enough to unbutton Stiles’ jeans and tug down his zipper in one fluid motion. 

“God, you’re good at this,” Stiles whispered as Derek helped him out of his jeans and boxers before removing the towel that was still wrapped around his waist. He shrugged and traced his fingers down Stiles’ chest and stomach, stopping just before he reached the base of Stiles’ rapidly hardening cock. A whine escaped Stiles’ mouth before he could stop it and Derek smirked up at him as he reached into the shower to turn on the water before moving them away from the cold trickle. 

“Practice makes perfect,” Derek said as he adjusted the temperature. “Not all of us can throw a strike the first time they touch a baseball,” he teased, sending Stiles a wink. Stiles thought he would have swooned if he wasn’t standing with his naked back pressed against the frigid wall behind him. 

“You’ve got a lot of practice taking off your teammate’s clothes before showering, Hale?” Stiles countered as Derek tugged him underneath the rapidly warming water. 

Derek shook his head and responded, “Nope, just up and coming celebrities who shamelessly flirt with me before throwing the first pitch on my home turf.” Stiles let out a laugh as Derek leaned his head back into the water, trails of sandy liquid drifting down his shoulders. Stiles wasn’t sure how Derek could make something so simple look so hot but opted to ignore it in favor of reaching for the shampoo resting on the barrier between them and the next shower stall. 

“Lean your head back,” Stiles ordered as he squirted the shampoo in his hands. At Derek’s raised eyebrows, Stiles scoffed and said, “As obvious as it is that I want to have sex with you, you just played - and hit the winning home run - at a baseball game and deserve to be a little pampered.” 

Derek complied but Stiles saw the surprise in his eyes before he leaned his head back. He cheered for himself just a little at the fact he could cause any form of shock in Derek before he focused on spreading the shampoo into Derek’s hair. His nails scratched at Derek’s scalp as he massaged his head and Stiles felt himself hardening at the soft moans he received in response. He pushed closer to Derek to better reach the back of his head and when their cocks brushed, both of them let out breathless gasps. 

Derek reached up and wrapped his fingers around Stiles’ wrists before his own hands scrubbed at his hair to let the water wash away the bubbles. Stiles took the opportunity to spread the body wash beside them on his hands and run his fingers over every inch of Derek’s skin that he could reach. He lathered up Derek’s broad shoulders and chest before grazing each muscle on his stomach with gentle touches. He found himself lost in the way Derek’s skin felt against his fingertips and how with each stroke, his cock would grow closer and closer to sliding against Stiles’ again. 

“My turn,” Derek whispered, breaking Stiles from his focus as he gazed up at Derek. Water dripped down his face and trailed down the length of his long neck and Stiles couldn’t resist the urge to lean forward and trace the track with his tongue. Derek’s arm wrapped around Stiles’ waist and pulled them flush together, their cocks sliding more easily due to the soap Derek was covered in. Stiles nipped at Derek’s pulse before sucking as rapidly as his heart was beating. Derek’s slick hands scrubbed at his back and Stiles let out a moan against Derek’s shoulder as his nails scraped down the skin of Stiles’ back. 

They rolled their hips together, neither of them caring about finesse any more than they cared about actually getting clean. Derek’s hands gripped at Stiles’ ass, kneading the soft skin there as he maneuvered Stiles’ hips more solidly against his. Their bodies slid together perfectly and Stiles had never wanted a hand on his cock more than he had at that moment. Derek seemed to read his mind as one of his soapy hands reached down in between them, his long fingers wrapping around both of their lengths. Twin moans left their lips as Derek pumped their cocks hastily using the slickness to their advantage. 

Stiles wrapped his arms desperately around Derek’s shoulders as Derek mouthed at his exposed neck. He threaded one hand through Derek’s soaked hair to pull him closer, gasping into his ear as Derek twisted his wrist as if to ensure he was touching every inch of Stiles’ and his own cock that he could. Stiles tugged at Derek’s hair to pull his head back because he had wanted to see his face and to kiss him again. He let himself witness Derek’s blown pupils and the way he bit down on his bottom lip as if holding in his moans but decided his mouth would be of better use on his. 

“Fuck, let me hear you,” Stiles begged, “please!” With a shout, he bit down on Derek’s bottom lip and pulled it into his mouth so he had no choice but to whimper against Stiles’ lips. Stiles wrapped his hand around Derek’s to apply just a little more pressure on their aching cocks and Derek’s immediate moan was like music to his ears. 

Their hands stroked hurriedly as their hips slotted together as if both searching for a release that only the other could give them, and Stiles felt his stomach tightening each time Derek’s palm slid over his dick. He climbed higher in pleasure, closer to his orgasm, and his skin was too scorched to notice that the water splashing onto them was slowly cooling. Stiles’ tongue battled Derek’s sloppily, neither of them able to focus on the kiss as they let themselves be washed in the bliss that surged through them. 

Stiles flew over the edge first with a broken moan that echoed through the empty locker room as he pulled away from Derek’s mouth to bite down onto his shoulder like a lame attempt to control the pleasure that soared through him. He whimpered and panted into Derek’s wet skin as his legs shook, his hips still pushing into Derek’s hand as if chasing the cloud of ecstasy that surrounded him. 

Derek moaned against his ear and Stiles could tell he was close just by the husky breaths that expelled from his lungs. He reached between them with a trembling hand and pushed Derek’s hand away only to replace it with his own. He pumped Derek’s cock expertly, thumbing across the throbbing head before pressing a solid finger against the vein underneath his length. A long and low groan pushed from Derek’s lips as Stiles felt him release over his hand and stomach. Stiles maneuvered his face away from the water as he leaned his head back in pleasure. 

The now lukewarm water spouting from the showerhead washed away their mess as they clung together, Stiles’ fingers stayed threaded in Derek’s hair as Derek’s gripped the skin of Stiles’ back tightly, holding him as close as they could possibly be. They stayed under the spray as the rest of the soap dripped away from their skin and Stiles reached up to brush Derek’s dampened hair from his forehead with a chuckle. Derek returned the laughter and ran his own hands through Stiles’ hair to slick it away from his face. He was sure he looked just as fucked as Derek had, but he let himself stare at Derek for a few moments before he looked down at their naked bodies in thought. 

“You know, I really wish I had the opportunity to toss in a pitcher or catcher joke during that,” Stiles breathed out as his chest rose and fell with Derek’s. 

He felt Derek’s laughter before he heard it and Derek pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead before saying, “Did you know I’m a switch hitter?” 

[farfromparker]

Erotas - Chapter Four | t.h.

Erotas Masterlist

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader

Summary: It’s the day of the rehearsal dinner and Tom finally meets your whole family

Word Count: 3.9k

A/N: Originally, chapters 4 and 5 were going to be one long ass chapter, but I split them. 😈

Special thanks to @worldoftom  💞💞

Tom wakes up slowly, peacefully. The soft roar of the ocean pulling him from his slumber. Gulls call out sporadically and his eyelids flutter open. The morning sun basks the room in a warm glow. The bed is empty and he sits up, ignoring the relief he feels when he sees you sitting out on the terrace, fingers curled around a cuppa. He watches you watch the sea for a moment, you look calm, the soft curve of your lips as you smile softly is his first sign. Your eyes slide shut and you tilt your head up to enjoy the sun on your skin. 

He wants you to have this moment so he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move from the bed, not wanting to interrupt. He glances behind himself to the clock on the nightstand, it’s almost 9am, meaning it’s not even 7am London time. 

He wonders how long you’ve been up. 

You set your cup on a side table, starting to get up and he gets tangled in the sheets as he tries to get out of the bed quickly. He can’t get caught staring at you, not after last night. The embarrassment stings just as much as it did when it happened. It wasn’t even anything sexual, it was a game for fuck’s sake. You joked if off, and he did his best to not let it become a Thing™️ but he can’t help but fret over what you thought when it happened… what you think of him now because of it. 

“Morning, Tom,” you chime, smiling as you step into the room. 

He clears his throat, strangling the embarrassment sitting in his chest. “Morning, darling. How long have you been up?”

You hum. “I think I got up just before eight.”

He wants to ask if you’ve been up since before 6am London time because your family is flying in today, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t need to. 

He nods instead. “What do you want to do today then? We’ve got the whole day to ourselves, right?”

Your eyes light up as come to set on the corner of the bed, he follows suit. “Yeah! I was looking up some things earlier. We can go scuba diving! There were a few other things, but they’d take up too much of our day considering dinner tonight. Or, the hotel has an infinity pool with a swim up bar if we just want to drink. There’s a cute shopping district too just a couple minutes walk from here.” 

“What would take up too much time? We’ve got all day tomorrow too, right?

Realization dawns across your face, “Oh yeah! Um, horseback riding or parasailing need a good chunk of our time, they’re both a little ways away from the city. The parasailing place is actually on the other side of the island.”

He nods. “Okay, so we could do one tomorrow and the other on Saturday? What’s your plan for that day?”

“Well, hopefully be properly hungover.” 

His eyes crinkle. “Right, yes, you’re right. So I won’t lie, I don’t think I want to parasail or ride horse if I’m hungover.”

You shake your head in agreement. “No, definitely not. I think Saturday we can just say goodbye to my family? Walk to the beach and swim, lay around…”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me. So which one do you want to do tomorrow?”

“I was thinking, if we go scuba diving today, we can go horseback riding tomorrow?”

“I’m game for all that!” And as he watches you smile, looking genuinely happy and excited, he starts thinking of ways he can keep that look on your face for the rest of your life. 

Your American Champagne Breakfast arrives after a quick call down to the front desk and both your mouths start watering as the attendant brings in the cart. Food is piled high, waffles with three types of syrup, bacon, sausage, an assortment of colorful fruit along with a fresh blend of juices from apricots, peaches and nectarines. There’s another bottle of champagne as well, but you both agree to keep that for later, best not to drink and dive. 

You leave the room just before 10:30 and head down to the beach, tummies full, swimwear on underneath a small layer of clothing to keep your modesty. You had called ahead to make the reservation and they had a slot available for their 11am shore dive. 

There’s a trail from your hotel that leads down to the sand beach below. Tom watches you take your shoes off as soon as you get off the gravel path, digging your toes in the sand. He copies you, tossing his shoes in the backpack he’s got slung over shoulder, putting yours in there as well. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve gone diving,” you share, turning to him as you amble along in the sand. 

“Me too, my brothers and I went when we were in Italy two years ago for a family vacation, but I haven’t gone since.” 

He watches you squint your eyes, thinking. “It’s about the same about time for me too. We were in Spain for —” You gesture vaguely with your hands. “Something like this.” You shrug. Tom can’t decide if you don’t actually remember, or if you’d just rather not talk about it. Regardless, he doesn’t push.

“I’ve got a feeling this dive is gonna be a good one,” he continues. Glancing up ahead, he can see the shack on the beach, with a diving sign hanging above the door that’s a bright red and white, so there’s no way to miss it. 

“The company is definitely better…” you pause, eyes a little wide as though you didn’t mean to say that outloud. But you don’t backtrack. “At least for me.” 

He touches your hand with his and says quietly. “Yeah, me too.” 

An older gentleman greets you outside. You’re a good 15 meters from the entrance when he appears, but he’s smiling and waving at you nonetheless. He’s got short white hair and a very bushy white mustache to match. 

“Geiá sou, Kaliméra! Good morning!” he declares. 

“Good morning,” you call back in unison. 

He shakes your hands when you get to him, smile wide across his face, “You are my only divers this morning! But it is a beautiful day for a beautiful couple to enjoy the beauty of the Aegaen!” 

Tom wonders how many times he’s said that line to however many different people, but that doesn’t stop himself from smiling because of it. The man, who introduces himself as Tavi, ushers you inside to get you checked in. He’s got all the equipment you need, regulators, fins, masks, BCDs, the list goes on. 

His eyes light up when you both say this isn’t your first dive. “Experienced! Polý kalá!” 

There are lockers along one wall with combination locks. Tavi advises you to strip down to your swimsuits and he opens a locker for you, letting you shove your belongings in your bag and secure it inside. He helps you into your equipment, checking gauges and getting your air tanks hooked up properly. 

“I have an underwater camera as well. I can take pictures of you two while we’re down there.” 

Tom smiles. “Great, thanks mate!”

“You two should remember this! Now, it will be an odd walk to the water,” he chuckles, belly jiggling softly as he laughs. “Do not put your fins on until we get down there. You might fall and not be able to get back up.” 

As Tom stands, BCD strapped across his chest, tank fully hooked up, he’s reminded of how heavy and awkward this equipment is out of the water. He’s sure he’d be able to get back up if he fell, but he’d rather not test that theory. 

You mumble as you stand, hunched over. “Fuck me, I forgot how heavy this stuff is.” 

Tavi laughs, grabbing fins for himself, watching as you two do the same. You get down to the water's edge with minimal struggling. The water is warm, Tom had been slightly apprehensive when Tavi shook his head at the idea of wetsuits, but he was right, this feels like bath water. 

You float out a little, just enough that you can get your fins on. Tavi does one last check of your gauges, has you breathe through your regulators. When he’s satisfied, he goes over the hand gestures so you can communicate safely underwater. 

Regulators secured, masks snug against your face, you slowly descend. 

*

An hour and a half later, you break the water’s surface. Tom peels his mask off, imagining a red pressure ring around his eyes, matching yours. You lock eyes with him and smirk. 

“Tavi?” you ask, looking over to the older men. 

He raises his eyebrows, indicating for you to continue. You swim over to Tom, reaching for him to wrap your arm around his waist as best you can and hold him close. Tom instinctively does the same to you. 

“Take a picture, we have to remember our matching raccoon marks.” 

Tom smiles wide, eyes crinkling as Tavi laughs, reaching for the camera secured around his wrist. He snaps the picture, smiling as you all start your climb back up to his diving shack. 

“I can’t believe you thought that barracuda was a shark!” you say, laughing. 

Tom pouts slightly, pulling the backpack up further on his shoulder as the two of you walk back to your room. “Did you see the teeth on that thing? I didn’t want anything to do with it!” 

You laugh harder, mimicking the movement he’d made under water, something akin to his signature fight reaction when he’s scared. “What?” You giggle some more. “Were you gonna knock it out?”

“That’s what you do! If a shark is coming after you, you punch it!” 

“But it wasn’t a shark! And it wasn’t even coming after you. I hate to break it to you, Tom, but you’re a little bigger than the fish they normally eat.” 

“They’ve bitten people, okay? I was just prepared. You wouldn’t be laughing if it tried to bite me and I punched it. You’d be telling me how smart I was!”

“No, I’d be laughing at the fact that you punched a fish.”

You get back to the room and order a light lunch. It’s already almost 2pm, but you’ll both be weak by dinner if you don’t eat something now. Tom starts to worry about what to wear; your whole family will be there tonight and he wants to look the part. Another piece of him deeply wants their approval as well. 

He lies to you when you ask how many outfits he brought with for this, saying it was only three when in fact, every nice shirt he owns is in this suitcase. He sees you pull a black and white dress out of your bag, hanging it up near the door and looks back into his suitcase. 

You step up behind him, chin on his shoulder. “I like the red one.” 

He turns to look at you, smiling.  “Red it is.” 

You let him shower first and he’s in and out in under five minutes. It’s just past 4pm now and he hears your music start playing through the speaker on your phone as you shut the bathroom door. He hums along while he gets dressed, buttoning up the floral red shirt. He wants your opinion on his pants, though. He’s got some really nice dark denim jeans, but there’s also a white pair of pants. So he heads out onto the terrace in his boxer briefs, shirt not buttoned all the way, leaning against the balcony and watching the water. 

You step up beside him, “Pantless? My family won’t ever forget you.” 

He laughs and he can feel his cheeks heating up a little bit. “I uh — I wanted your opinion on which pants I should wear.”

And you follow him back into the room, watching as he digs out the two options. He turns to you, one in each hand, and his breath catches in his throat for a moment. He didn’t look at you out on the terrace, but here, now. You’ve got your dress on, the top is fitted, extenuating your chest but draping elegantly around your hips. Your hair is still wet and you’ve got no makeup on. Eyes bright and open and happy.

Absolutely stunning.

“White, definitely,” you confirm and for a moment he forgets what you’re talking about. 

He swallows. “Right, white. Sure, thanks.” 

He gets ready quickly, pulling on his pants before fussing with his hair in the mirror over the dresser. You’re back in the bathroom, also fussing with your hair, doing your makeup. You step out about fifteen minutes later. 

“Tom? Will you help me with this clasp for my necklace?”

He nods. “Course, yeah,” and he takes it from you as you turn your back to him. He reaches his arms up and around your neck to let the necklace lay delicately along your sternum. His fingers brush along your skin and he can see the tiny hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. He fights a smile, liking to see even the smallest reaction of your body to him. 

“Thanks,” you say as his hands fall away, turning back to smile at him. You take a deep breath. “I think we’re ready.”

He nods confidently. “We are, and you look stunning. I mean — I thought you did before, too, when you didn’t have makeup on. Like, you don’t need makeup — uh, not that it's wrong to want to wear it but —”

You laugh, reaching out to grab his forearms to keep them from continuing to flail around his face. “Tom, I get it. Thank you, really. Now, let’s get down there and head straight to the bar.”

The sun is low in the sky as you walk down to the beach and Tom can’t stop himself from stealing glances at you. 

There’s a huge tent set up, sparkling fairy lights hanging beautifully from the ceiling, a portable floor is laid down, tables and chairs placed strategically around a dance floor. There’s a table towards the back where a number of chefs are lining up food for the night. 

“Wow,” Tom mumbles. 

“Ava’s dad is a doctor.” 

Tom hums in understanding, following you into the tent. There are two bar carts in opposite corners of each other. There’s a short man grabbing a glass of whiskey and Tom watches as he sees you, eyes lighting up. He grabs his drink and hurries over to you. 

“Heya, stranger!” he says happily, pulling you into a hug. 

“Vinny! It’s so good to see you again!” And Tom breathes out a sigh of relief. 

Vinny releases you and turns to him. “And you must be Tom, nice to meet ya mate!” 

“Hey Vinny, yeah, nice to meet you too!” And he shakes his hand and then the introductions start. It seems like that simple handshake was enough to alert the whole tent that the two of you had arrived and suddenly they start swarming around you. 

Tom will be honest, he definitely thought you were making your family out to be worse than they actually are. At least he did until he met them. 

First, your Nana Ruth slides in the comment Oh, I thought he’d be taller. And Tom hasn’t been insecure about his height since he was 17, but the comment still causes him to raise his eyebrows in surprise. 

You aren’t perturbed, though. “He’s taller than me, Nana, that’s all I care about.” 

Then he meets your aunt Brigitte. She kisses both your cheeks and he can see the tightness in your face when you try and smile at her. She kisses his cheeks as well and Tom’s skin crawls when she gets a little handsy. 

“Oh he’s very pretty, dear. How did he wind up with you?” she says, laughing. 

Tom wants to slap the lipstick right off of this woman’s face. 

“Lucky, I guess,” you comment, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bar. 

“I’m gonna smack that woman into next Tuesday if she says something like that about you again.” He growls into your ear, hands curling into fists at his side. 

You look at him and it’s a look that catches him off guard. He’d expected you to be mad, annoyed, or upset in some way. But you’re looking at him with so much affection he feels a little light-headed. His hands automatically relax as your fingers slide down his forearm so you can link your fingers with his. 

“I would pay good money to see you hit her.”

Louis corners Tom as you’re all about to have dinner, asking what he thinks of the Prime Minister and Tom side steps into how well Liverpool is playing. You smile at him and let Louis go into it for a moment before interrupting him about the dinner starting soon. Louis promises to find Tom later so he can tell him about how Bayern has definitely been playing dirty all season. 

Ava and Alex hug you both and Tom relaxes around the two of them. He knows them, he likes them. They sit and Ava is adamant that you sit next to her and you gladly do, Tom taking the obvious spot next to you. A moment later, he recognizes your parents at the opposite end of the table. Your dad raises his drink at Tom and Tom returns the gesture. 

One thing you left out when talking about your family was how big it was. There’s a sea of unknown faces around him, asking questions and leaning over the table to get a look at him. He feels like a stud being inspected at auction. 

Your hand falls softly onto his lap and he breathes easier as he wraps his fingers around yours. Dinner is served, but Tom has trouble finding time to eat because the questions don’t stop. 

How did you two meet?

What do you do for a living?

Where did you grow up?

How long have you two been together?

And Tom doesn’t mind answering them all because he likes talking about your relation—  friendship. Your friendship. 

Brigitte opens her mouth again and Tom tenses before any words even leave her lips. 

“I am surprised that the two of you are an item. She’s just kind of plain. Never really seemed all that into the boys either.”

Her twit of a husband agrees. “Yeah, we always thought she was one of those asexuals.” And he says it like he’s talking about a unicorn. Like it’s something that doesn’t actually exist. 

And Tom can’t believe what he’s hearing. The fact that people this idiotic are still spewing ignorant, condescending hate makes him want to yell. But he’s smart enough to know you can’t argue with stupid. 

Then he remembers a comment you made the night before, you’re gonna have to make a dirty joke to shut them up.

He turns to you, eyes locking with yours, because he doesn’t need to say this to them. He needs to say this to you. Because you’re the only person that needs to hear this. 

“I guess she was just waiting for something that was worth it?” he starts. “Whatever it is, she’s amazing, the most genuine person I’ve ever met. She makes me so damn happy. And I might have helped trigger something in her, something that let her bring her guard down and let me inside.”

He’s looking at you as he speaks, and it feels so real. He can see the emotions swimming in your eyes, his hand in yours. He can feel the eyes of your family on the two of you but he can’t stop looking at you, and you’re staring back, smiling at him.

His voice gets louder now though because this is the part they need to hear. “And she did let me inside, she does let me inside…” His eyebrows raise for a moment, to help accentuate the dirty joke. “Pretty frequently actually.”

And you smile wider, laughing as you hear the uncomfortable noises from Brigitte and Joe, the gasp from Nana, the murmur around the table of what did he just say? You lean in, and so he does as well, pressing his lips to yours, but it’s hard to keep the kiss going because neither of you can stop smiling. 

“Fuck, I can’t wait to get you back to the hotel room.” And he’s not sure he heard you correctly. The question has to be written across his face, but he can’t ask it, not now. So he keeps smiling, keeps squeezing your hand. 

The comments cease after that. And he can feel your relief, like you’re a thousand pounds lighter. Apparently a dirty joke is all it takes. 

Dinner ends and you’re coerced into staying for one more drink. He enjoys himself nonetheless. Mostly because you’re on his arm throughout the night, your demeanor light and happy. 

You excuse yourself to the bathroom after the first drink and Tom finds Vinny and your father, two people he actually enjoys talking to. The conversation revolves around the wedding and your dive that morning. He leaves out the fact he almost punched a barracuda, of course. He’d gotten enough grief from you alone. 

He’s got a new drink in his hand when you find him again later and he smiles a little sheepishly. Licking his lips, he says, “Your dad brought me another drink. I didn’t know if you wanted to stay longer, so we can split this or I can just give it to Vinny and we can go.” 

You’re smiling up at him like he just over offered you the crown jewels. He’s not entirely sure what it is that he’s done to keep you smiling at him like that, but he’s certain he isn’t going to stop. You lean in to kiss his cheek, but he feels you hesitate, pulling away slowly.

He turns to you, watching you tilt your head, bringing your hand up to cup his jaw softly and trail your thumb along across his cheek. 

“What is it?” he asks. 

“Oh. Nothing, just smeared my lipstick on your cheek,” you explain, wiping it away. “Let’s go back to the room.”

He agrees easily, passing the beer off to Vinny on his way out the door. You go through the motions of saying good night to everyone, hugs and kisses and jokes. And then you pull him along quickly to get back to the room. He’s laughing lightly as he lets you drag him along. 

“What’s the rush?” he asks when you reach your room. You unlock the door and step inside, tossing your purse onto one of the chaise lounges.

“Did you mean that, what you said at dinner? I mean, would you still have said that if we weren’t here faking a relationship?”

He blinks, caught off guard, he presses his lips together as he locks the door behind him. He turns back to you. “Yeah,” he pauses, rubbing his lips together, “Yeah, I meant it.”

You nod. “Yeah, I thought you did.” Then you reach for him, taking his hand and pulling him into the room. “I think it’s time I thank you, Tom.” 

_____________________________________________

Taglist: 

@xximaweirdoxx @selfcarecapmain @billythebully09 @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts @honeymarvel @lovinnholland @oh-annaa @little-miss-naill @holland-in-disguise @wordless08 @multifandomgirl-us @fangirlfree @theolwebshooter @headlights95 @thirsttrapholland @ablazeofhope @hazmyheart @let-the-music-take-c0ntrol @afterglownights @hollandbitch @delicately-important-trash @parkersvibes @averyfosterthoughts @mskatharinawho @crazyfreaker @thsummersoldier @lolobxtch @peterparkoure @hpnjrph @likeit-or-leaveit @spidxrparkxr @caretheunicorn @peterpstuff @spiderdudetom @sltwins @loxbbg @tomshufflepuff @spideyyeet @sir-thatscannibalism @ladystrombwick @terrifictomholland @caturdwy @lauras-collection @hollandtomholland @hollandcreep @uncookspaget @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven @clara-licht @seudedreams

[briefololtragedy]

Of menus and audio-books

Pairing Kakashi Sakura

Rating M

Summary: Sakura and Kakashi both want their dinner date, but Sakura's work keeps getting in the way. Sakura asks for Kakashi's help with tasting the menu, lets see what happens. The coffee shop saga continues

also posted to AO3 , follow up to Pakkun’s plan and Frazzled Friday

Sakura couldn’t believe the last two weeks she has had. Two weeks ago she was supposed to have dinner with Kakashi, but she kept having to put it off for work. She really needed to make a note to never cater ever again. She thought nothing could be worse than catering for that 16th birthday party, a shiver ran up her spine thinking of all the pink and sparkles. Hana, Sakura loved her to death, but between her changing her mind about the menu every other day and then Kiba constantly showing up in the coffee shop, Sakura was on her last shred of sanity. Kakashi still visited with Pakkun, but for not as long and his visits were what was getting her through this hell. She knew that Kakashi wasn’t fully comfortable talking with her when Kbia was present. 

Burning...something was burning! She looked around and realized it was her muffins that she put into the oven. Sakura made a mad dash to the kitchen, smoke was billowing out of her oven. The muffins were beyond saving. Throwing the tray into the sink she couldn’t help but let out a frustrated yell. The shop wasn’t open yet, not for another 30 minutes, so there were not any customers to scare away. 

And it was just at this moment her phone decided to ding. Not even two seconds later the phone was flying across the kitchen. Yep...here come the tears. She didn’t know anymore if they were out of frustration or actual sadness. Hana changed her mind again and wanted to go into a different direction. Sakura already decided that this day sucked. She just wanted to crawl back into bed and cuddle up with a good book. Silver flashed across her mind, cheeks flushed. She wouldn’t mind cuddling with him either. 

Sakura didn’t know what to make of their relationship. He was more than a customer, but she wasn’t sure what he wanted. She wanted to get to know him more, wanted to see him outside of these stupid walls. She wanted to shave her legs, do her hair and makeup, and wear a dress for him, well more for her, but she wanted him to be there to appreciate her. A small voice said she also wanted to appreciate him, take that scarf and more off of him. 

After her 10 minute freak out she got up from the floor, retrieved her phone and went to work. She was on the phone with Hana when he came in, he was earlier than usual (very odd). After talking Hana down from the edge, no she would not do German Russian fusion, what even the hell was that! She will handle the menu and told Hana to not worry about it. She couldn’t help the flutter in her chest when watching her favorite duo take a seat. She thanked whatever deity was looking out for her since Kiba was nowhere in sight. 

“I think someone played a prank on you and messed with your clocks. You do know that it is 9am?” Kakashi was yet again hard at work on his laptop, Pakkun at his feet. She sat across from him, well she more like flopped into the seat, but it was a long day and it was only 9am! 

“Hmm, maybe I just really wanted to see you.” Kakashi felt worn down, he didn’t want to beat around the bush. He was here finally when Sakura wasn’t busy with a certain customer. It was over a month since he had started to frequent Sakura’s coffee shop and he really wanted that dinner date. It didn’t help that Genma started talking about the pretty pink haired coffee shop owner when he was drunk the other night. Images flashing through his mind. He also wanted to take her up on her offer of helping him with his audiobook debacle. Kakashi decided that today would be the day, they would set the actual day for their date.

“I’m sure a busy editor like yourself has better things to do.” Sakura took a pause. “I’m sorry we haven’t been able to get our dinner together. This catering event has been a huge headache. You and this little guy have been so helpful.” Why couldn’t they seem to get out of these four stupid walls. 

“I’m never too busy for coffee or your dessert of the day.” Sakura couldn’t help but smile, it was then she decided to throw her shoulders back and give herself a mental pep talk. “So my client changed the menu again, this is a short notice, but how would you feel about testing out the menu I came up with tonight?” It felt like an eternity as she waited for his answer. 

Kakashi wanted to jump up and cheer, but he was not Gai. “Tonight would work.” His palms were not sweaty, he was not a teenager anymore. However, he felt himself melt at that wide dazzling smile. “Perfect! I’ll send you my address. Does 8 work?” 

“8 sounds good.” He would have made sure that it worked. Kakashi watched her walk away and couldn’t help but chuckle at the flour she had on the back of her jeans, highlighting her amazing backside asset. Eight couldn’t come fast enough. 

Sakura couldn’t help the extra pep in her step throughout the rest of the day. Mei looked at her like she grew a second head when she was giving customers free upgrades on their coffee orders. Sakura even had time during her break to make a menu and grocery list. She would have plenty of time to get what she needed, exercise (cause of her sugar addiction), and start preparing the food. She felt good, she hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Sakura had decided on a simple green fit n flare dress that came to her mid thigh, hair was in a messy bun, and just a little bit of makeup. 

A knock on her door brought her back down to earth. She froze and was at a loss for words at the sight before her. Kakashi was wearing dark loose fitting jeans and a light grey henley shirt. She could see part of a tribal tattoo peeking out from under his right sleeve. Then there was his scarf, or more importantly the lack of a scarf. Internally she started to whimper, it wasn’t far for him to look like that. 

“Kakashi please come in. I’m not making everything that I was thinking of serving for the event, but wanted to do a variety. You wouldn’t mind giving me your opinion on the other foods too?” Sakura felt more comfortable talking about food or more work related topics. She didn’t trust herself with him. Previous boyfriends didn’t like it when she was more “aggressive.” 

“Sounds good.” Kakashi couldn’t help, but appreciate Sakura’s appearance. She always looked stunning, but now...  He could see her muscular thighs, small waist, toned arms, and her rear. He had admired one of her best assets earlier today and couldn’t help stare as she led him through her house.  

“Here is the menu I wrote up. Whatcha think?” Sakura was leaning over her kitchen island resting on her elbows. 

Kakashi looked at the menu in front of him: Short Rib Crostini with Cambozola Cheese and Cherry Jam. Kimchi deviled eggs. Apple stuffed pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon. Butternut squash soup, tomato soup with mini grilled cheese crouton. Caramelized onion, goat cheese, and mushroom flatbread. Teriyaki salmon mini burgers. Medley of roasted vegetables Desserts in a shot glass: Tarrimsu, white chocolate blueberry cheesecake, lemon meringue. Trio of hot chocolate and cookies 

“There will also be fruit and vegetables, fresh dip...Oh and some homemade crackers. I was thinking of baked brie with apricot jam. There were fresh apricots at the store and couldn’t help making some jam.” Before he could speak his stomach decided to join the conversation. 

“Hmm , maybe I should stop talking about food and we should go to the eating part. I made the deviled eggs, flatbread, vegetables, tomato soup and grilled cheese. Then the hot chocolate and either chocolate chip or snickerdoodle cookies.” All of the smells that hit him when he first walked in all made sense now. He could smell the cookies, but really caught his attention was the eggplant in the mix of roasted vegetables. 

“That sounds like a perfect plan. I forgot to ask if it would be alright to take you up on your offer from a couple of weeks ago, and have you listen to me read?” He had tried reading for Jiraya earlier, but all he got was a sour face from the man. 

“It's the least I can do. Let’s eat!”  Sakura found the conversation was easy. Kakashi gave some comments on the food, she noticed how he went back for more eggplant. She also had to pat herself on her back for not being too awkward. She found herself talking about Naruto and Jiraiya. Along with stories of Ino. Kakashi shared about his dogs, how he rescued them, he had more than just Pakkun. He had been in the army, but left after 5 years. He found himself settling into the publishing business with his passion for books. 

Kakashi had settled into her sofa, while she decided to clean the kitchen before dessert. Guilt overtook him while he watched her do the dishes and clean off the counters. He found himself making his way to help her, she seemed shocked when he pushed her over to dry while he washed. It seemed like her friends didn’t volunteer often to help her clean. 

The dish water had gotten his shirt slightly damp on the front, allowing for it to cling just enough to get an outline of his abs. It was getting hotter in her kitchen and the oven was off. She was taken out of her thoughts when she felt an arm grazing her back. “Sorry, I finished washing and decided to help with drying, the only other towel was to your right. You were lost in thought I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

“Sorry for zoning out. Let me get the hot chocolate ready. Do you want white, milk, or dark chocolate? Also cookie choice.” She had decided on white chocolate and snickerdoodle, hmm this sugar was going to go straight to her ass. 

“I’m starting to think you are made out of sugar. I will have dark chocolate. Hmm I think I’ll try both, I’ve been a good boy.” Sakura felt warm again, how was she going to get through him reading one of those stupid books. 

“The night is still young, hope you stay a good boy. Lets go to the living room for your contribution to the evening.” Kakashi was having second thoughts. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to practice?” He didn’t want her to run away or ruin what relationship they had.

“Kakashi it's the least I can do! You have been so much help with all of this, have a seat.” Kakashi went back to sitting on the sofa, placing his hot chocolate on the end table. The chocolate chip cookie was already gone. Sakura made herself comfortable on the other end of the sofa, she was sitting facing him, one of her legs under her, she was sipping on her drink and occasionally dunking her cookie into it. 

“Alright here goes nothing.” Kakahi cleared his throat as he started to read. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this, Maalik.” Elena looks forlorn. The wind blows her chestnut hair in front of her face obscuring her crystal clear blue eyes. They are meeting in their safe haven, far from the eyes of their families. A small stream flowed through the area, wildflowers surrounding. The trees provided shade from the gruling sun. A ray of light had cut through the trees and onto Elena, it was their oasis.. Maalik couldn’t help but give pause. She was beauty, nothing could compare. He could feel his palms become sweaty and his heart race as he looked at her. 

Kakashi noticed that Sakura was adjusting in her seat. She was cupping her mug with both hands staring at him intently. He continued on. 

“You say that everytime we meet, my love.” Maalik’s smoky voice penetrated through the air. He couldn’t help, but bring his hand to her face making her look him in the eyes. Elena’s heart was beating so fast it felt like it would come out of her chest. All thoughts vanished from her mind as she looked into his brown eyes. His arm went to wrap around her waist, pulling her to him. Elena’s hand was resting on his chest and she could feel his heart beating like a drum in his chest. 

Sakura could feel some discomfort between her legs grow. She wanted to rub them together. It should not be allowed to have his deep baritone voice so smooth, warming her all the way to her bones. 

“Every time I see you I can’t help but feel like your beauty grows, it puts the flowers to shame.” He couldn’t help but bring their lips together. It had been weeks since they last saw each other. Elena was hesitant at first, but wasted no time to deepen the kiss. They both were acting like people dying of thirst getting water for the first time. Before Elena knew it she was laying on the grass, Maalik hovering over her. Their kiss never broke. 

Kakashi’s heart was beating fast. He was sure he was blushing. Sakura’s eyes had started to glaze over. He wanted to reach out and move that strand of hair from her face. 

“Please...Please Maalik it's been too long. I need you.” Maalik didn’t have to be told twice as he ventured down Elena’s body leaving wet trails as he made it to his destination. 

“Sakura… are you alright?” She had been fidgeting in her seat. “I...” All self control had abandoned her and she lunged. She shoved the book out of his hands as she settled herself on his lap. Sakura cupped his face in her hands and went in for the kiss. She could taste the lingering chocolate and cinnamon from dessert. Part of her wondered if he would pull away, but once she felt him deepening the kiss with hands going to her hips she cheered internally. 

Kakashi was wondering if he was dreaming. The slight nip on his lip assured him this was reality. He couldn’t help, but to slide his hands up her thighs to her hips. He took note of the ripple of her muscles with his touch. Kakashi pulled her closer to him. A low moan escaped him as Sakura started to slowly circle her hips against him. The small whine she created when he had to pull away broke part of him. They both were panting heavy just from their kiss. 

“I have wanted to kiss you since the first time I met you. Do you know how much I desired to pull that stupid scarf off of you? “ Sakura’s voice had taken a husky quality to it, while they had stopped their current activity she continued to stay on his lap. 

“Sakura you are no better, with those tight jeans and aprons you wear. How a baker has this great of an ass I will never know.” To emphasize his point one of his hands went to squeeze her ass lovenly. This time it was Kakashi initiating their heated lip lock. His hair was so soft between her fingers. A pleasant sensation ran up her spine as he rubbed small circles on her hip. She wanted to explore more of him. 

Sakura found her right hand venturing downward, tracing the outlines of his pectorals, down his abdominal muscles, to rest just above his jeans. She slowly pulled away from him, resting her forehead on his, as she slowly unbuttoned his jeans to slide her hand to her goal. The moan and bucking of his hips was the only sign she needed to continue. She could feel Kakashi’s lips on her neck, him lightly biting at times. Sakura almost had to give pause once she had his sizable member in her hands. She licked her lips as she started to slowly work up and down his shaft. Her position was slightly awkward as her hand was between both their bodies. She wanted to move with him and found herself circing her hips with his rhythm. 

Kakashi felt like he was in overload at the moment. The taste of her neck and mouth still lingering, then the feel of Sakura’s hand as she worked him, and then her hips grinding against him it was almost too much. Before he could speak he found himself standing up with her in his arms. The small squeak she let out was adorable, but it was her wrapping her legs around him that he focused on. 

“Bedroom?” At his question Sakura pointed her head in the direction of her hallway. As he made his way to his destination he couldn’t help but kick off his jeans as they fell down. Once he found the right door on his own. Sakura had decided to start licking and biting at his neck, hands wondering. At least she had released her hold on little Kakashi because he didn’t think he would have the self control to not take her against the wall. 

He made quick work of his shirt after laying her down, while Sakura made quick work of her dress. 

Sakura started to feel self conscious as she looked at the greek god in front of her. The tattoo that she saw earlier extended up his shoulder and over his right pec. She was so wrapped up on her thoughts she didn’t notice Kakashi staring. 

While Sakura made some of the most delicious desserts they didn’t make his mouth water as much as the woman in front of him. Her breasts were covered by a white lace bra, but looked like they would fit perfectly in his hands. His eyes trailed down her flat stomach to her matching pair of white panties. It was time for his second dessert. 

Sakura felt her bed dip as Kakashi joined her. Her arms locking around his neck as he started to kiss her. She couldn’t help but to rub her legs together as one of his hands went to her breast, messaging it. He started to trail down her with kisses. Him making quick work of her bra as he latched onto one of her nipples, while he messaged the other. After a few minutes he switched. The pressure between her legs was building and she couldn’t help her whimpers and moans. She wanted more. 

As if hearing her thoughts he ventured down her stomach pausing where her underwear started, then it was gone. His thumb started to rub circles over her clit before he replaced it with his mouth. He started sucking gently at first then the pressure started to build, especially once he placed two finger into her pumping at a lazy rhythm at first. Her back arched and she was coming. 

Kakashi came back up to kiss her and she could taste herself. She wasted no time in wrapping her legs around him as he positioned himself. Finally he slid inside, stretching her deliciously. 

____________________________________________

They laid intertwined both exhausted from their multiple rounds. 

“You don’t like my scarf?” Sakura rolled her eyes as she nestled into him more. “Shut up and don’t make me regret spending my day off with you.” 

Extra- Pakkun's thoughts:

Pakkun thought all was well 2 weeks ago, yet his owner can't seal the deal with the pretty shop owner. Pakkun has his life set and Kakashi had to ruin it. Tonight just takes the cake! Kakashi left him! Kakashi had looked like a nervous teenager when he left, mumbling to himself as he walked out the door. It almost sounded like he was giving himself a pep talk. Pakkun looks to the sofa where the other human is sitting, sipping a beer, while having a toothpick in his mouth, why was this guy even here! Pakkun had become accustomed to tuning out this human. he vaguely hears a ding of the phone. "Well peanut looks like it will be just us. Kakashi wont be back tonight, lucky dog." Genma has a smirk on his face.

Pakkun doesn't want to be with Genma and he also sees his hopes of a belly full of dog biscuits crumble. Surely if Kakashi was visiting Sakura he would have taken Pakkun along.

[saibh29]

Baddest Good Girl

Pairing: Matt Casey x Reader

Warning: Fluff, little bit of angst (barely)

Reader transferring over the Firehouse 51 and she's a badass firefighter. Her and Casey clicked from the start. Like him, she's been through love and loss and they found comfort in each other and ended up falling for one another. Also they tend to do sweet things for each other especially after a hard day.

****

If anyone had asked you then you wouldn’t be able to pinpoint exactly the moment that the little habits between you and Casey had started.

One morning not long after you’d been transferred over to firehouse 51, you’d gotten to the station and there was a paper take out cup with the strange concoction of milk, sugar and coffee you liked placed by your locker. A sticky note glued to the side saying ‘when you’ve drunk this and humanised yourself, we need to talk. Casey’.

It had made you smile, something you never usually did before 9am and/or coffee. The smile had lingered for the rest of the day, being around Casey had that affect on you.

The next morning you’d found a granola bar along with the coffee and somehow it had stuck. If you and Casey had been on the same shift then he almost always got in before you and left the coffee and a snack for you.

Feeling mean for always being the one to take things you’d started leaving a packet of his favourite sweets on his desk at the end of a shift. It wasn’t much but you knew what it was like to be the one who was always giving and never receiving anything back.

It had taken about 6 months and an extraordinarily bad job for the two of you to admit that there was anything between you other than friendship and respect for a fellow colleague. Both of you had had long term relationships before and they’d both ended in car crashes of emotions. You hadn’t been ready to jump back into something as serious as you felt you and Matt might have.

You’d nearly lost him though. 1 more minute in that fire and you might actually have lost him, as it was Herrmann had dragged out his unconscious body from a burning building and he’d been transported to Chicago Med with bad smoke inhalation and possibly burnt airways.

A close shave with the end had made everything seem much clearer and you’d both decided that taking a chance on love again was maybe not the worst idea.  

You’d been together now for close to another 6 months and slowly Matt was making you believe that maybe love could last and not be painful.

**

The sun was shinning directly onto your face through the bedroom window where you hadn’t bothered to shut the curtains the previous evening. You’d barely had enough energy to change and fall into bed last night, never mind think about curtains.

You rolled over onto your back throwing your arm over your face trying to stop the glare from the sun. Beside you Matt groaned and squeezed his arm around your waist. “Is it morning?”

“From the sun, I’d say yeah”

“God, I don’t think I’ve even slept it definitely doesn’t feel like I have”

You managed to turn your head to see the clock on the bedside table it was 6am. “You’ve slept about 5 hours”

“That is nowhere near enough”

You’d have to agree with him there, you were a solid 8-hour kind of girl normally. “We have to go to work”

Matt turned onto his side as well pulling you into his body and touching his nose to your own. “What if we don’t?”

Your lips twitched a little, he didn’t mean it you knew that, Matt was even more dedicated to his job than you were, which was saying something. Sometimes though it was nice to dream. To stay in bed all day and do nothing, just lay there in Matt’s arms. Yeah, that was a nice dream.

“Captain Casey, you can’t be recommending truancy”

He kissed you lightly “I can be bad”

“No, you can’t” you laughed running your hands up and down his back, Matt hadn’t put a shirt on to go to bed last night and you could feel his muscles bunching under your touch. “It’s me who’s the bad one, you’re the good one” he didn’t answer that and you dug your nails into his shoulder “you’re meant to disagree with me”

“I'm good though, I don’t lie”

“Good save” you pushed on his chest getting free of his body to slide out of bed. Stretching your arms up above your head so your spine clicked back into place, you really needed to invest in some better furniture. “Are you driving in?”

You looked over your shoulder, back down at Matt who had rolled over to his back to look up at you as well.

“Yeah, you want a lift?”

“I'm going to run”

Matt grimaced and you laughed a little, he’d never understood your desire to run to the firehouse from your apartment. You liked it though, the 30-minute run gave you time to clear your head and get your body warmed up for the day to come. The short distance to the firehouse was one of the only reasons you put up with your tiny 1-bedroom apartment that had more than a few… quirks.

“I’ll see you there” leaning over the bed you rested your hands on Matt’s shoulders once more using them to balance as you kissed him and then headed to the bathroom to change into your gym gear.

**

By the time you arrived at the station Matt’s truck was already pulled up outside the firehouse and stood on the foreground Herrmann was staring at the roof.

“Herrmann” he didn’t look at you as you stopped beside him. “what you looking at?” whatever he was staring at you couldn’t see it, all you could see was roof.

“That look off to you?”

“What?”

“That”

“Herrmann you aren’t making things any clearer”

He sighed and finally took his eyes off the roof to look at you taking in the gym gear and red face. “Ran again huh?”

“Yeah”

“That roof, it look wrong?”

“No… it looks like a roof”

“Eh, you’re probably right”

“You take your meds today Herrmann?” the two of you walked into the firehouse with Herrmann still trying to explain why he’d been staring at the roof. By the time you got to the lockers you still had no real idea what in the world Herrmann had been doing, you found that you didn’t really understand a lot of what Herrmann ended up doing though so confusion around him was generally an accepted emotion.

Opening your locker a beaming smile broke out over your face that you couldn’t have helped if you’d tried.

“Jesus, you two really got it bad huh?”

“What?” you’d zoned out the fact that Herrmann had even still been talking to you.

“You, smiling like some sort of lunatic. Totally love stricken”

“Huh, maybe”

Herrmann wandered out of the locker room still muttering about new relationships and how his wife never smiled at him that way anymore. You weren’t really paying attention.

On the top shelf of your locker a take out coffee cup was sitting with an almond croissant in a paper bag beside it.

The sticky note was there as well posted to the side of the cup.

‘To the baddest good girl around’

*****

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[monaisme]

Day 19: sleep deprivation

Day 19: sleep deprivation

To do:

1.  Call Queen Ramonda re: tech sharing program @515am

2.                                     re: Everett Ross (is he there?)

3.  Call Dickhead Ross re: SHIELD coverage @ Raft @ 7am

4.  **Tony- wound check/ Nano eval!!**

5.  Call U.N. re: Status of Accords @ 9am

6.                 re: securing Thor’s (?) ship

7.                 re: Asgardians status

8.                 re: Nebula status    

9.   Call Parker landlord re: lease/furniture storage

10. Book tech for press conference #3 BEFORE 10am

11. Check on Barton situation ???

12. Board meeting @ 11am

13. Call R&D re: $$/Parker Foundation?

14. Call WHO re: vaccination program status @ 1245pm

15.                 re: *food supply interruptions

16. Call President re: *food supply interruptions @230pm

17.                        re: Nebula status

18. Call Housekeeping re: Nebula quarters  

Pepper pressed her fingers to her eyes before trying to focus AGAIN on her list. The dimmed lights of the med bay and the sounds of the monitors attached to her husband made it almost impossible.

She thought back to four days ago—had it really been only four days.

When Tony had come down that ramp, it was like Afghanistan all over again—until she saw the desperation and grief on his face. And then he’d collapsed and everything was a flurry of activity.

She’d found out later from Nebula that the nanoparticles had served their purpose back on Titan. The wound had been sealed, but the infection had already taken root and was festering within him. With the malnourishment and dehydration on top of that, it was no wonder Tony was doing so poorly.  The IVs chock full of antibiotics, nutrients, sedatives, and all of the medications to prevent his blood pressure from rising and his kidneys and liver from failing hung from hooks at the head of the bed. The nasogastric tube would be a fixture for a bit, she knew. Tony would hate it when he woke up, but she’d put him straight and they’d keep going. The monitors, though, she took comfort in. She could see that his heart was beating; that air was flowing through is lungs—that he was alive and fighting.

She shook those thoughts away, because it was four days later and there were things to do. She was supposed to be on the other side of the compound, preparing for a phone call with the U.N. (See item #4) but Tony’s doctor would be here shortly to do a wound check (See item #3) and evaluate a few other nanoparticle related things that Tony would drool over, but, well... Pepper wasn’t worried about nanotech, she was worried about Tony. If things went well today, they would hopefully reduce some of the medications he was on so they could start waking him up. That decision, of course, depended mostly on the inflammation around the original site and some blood work results from last night.

Pepper prayed they’d agree to starting to wake him up today. She missed her fiancé so, so much. She took a moment to put her list back into her briefcase and settle back into the chair by his bedside. She took his thin hand in her own. “What do ya’ say, Tony? Is today going to be the day I get to see those Bambi-eyes of yours?”

Of course, he didn’t answer.

“Pepper?”

She jumped, throwing her hands to her chest, in an effort to calm her racing heart. “Oh!”

Dr. Cho was apologetic as she came further into the room. “I am so sorry, Pepper. I thought you heard me when I came in!”

Pepper waved the apology off with a laugh, “No! I’m sorry! I must have been daydreaming,” She said as she continued to wait for her heart to settle... it seemed though, that it didn’t want to.

Dr. Cho smiled at her sympathetically. “No one could blame you, Pepper. You look dead on your feet.” Then, as though only seeing her for the first time, Dr. Cho asked her, “How are you doing? I mean really, how are you doing?”

She laughed again, trying to sound okay, “I’m doing fine, thank you. I’m just trying to salvage what’s left of the world while Sleeping Beauty here keeps us all waiting.”

“Ouch. No Prince Charming for our Mr. Stark, I see?” Dr. Cho teased back as she began her assessment on the man.

Pepper shook her head. “Oh, no,” she stood up from her seat, “Leave it to the amazing Ms. Pepper Potts to save the world—one board meeting at time, thank you very much!” And she gave a mock final bow and stepped away from the bed.

Pepper looked up from her brief performance and saw how close she was to some of Tony’s equipment. Embarrassed, she stepped further away from the bed. “I’m sorry. I’m taking up the room you need.”

Dr. Cho shook her head. “You’re fine, Pepper. If I need room, I’ll ask.”

Pepper was sure she was about to ask another question when a knock on the door interrupted her.

The doctor smiled at the new addition to the room. “Dr. Rainert, I’m so glad you could come. Dr. Rainert,” she nodded to the man then gestured to Pepper. “I’d like to introduce you to Ms. Pepper Potts, Mr. Stark’s fiancée.”

Dr. Rainert gave a polite bow. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he announced and then got right down to business. “I am assuming you know why I’m here?”

Pepper nodded. “Of course, while Dr. Cho will be doing the actual wound check, you’ll be evaluating the affect of the nanoparticles on healing, scarring, and such, correct?”

He nodded to confirm. “I know it’s a stressful time for you, Ms. Potts, but Mr. Stark and I had been quite excited to see how this worked in a field setting and,” he seemed to be struggling to contain his enthusiasm even as his research partner lay unconscious in the bed beside him. “Well, this information will be most helpful going forward.”

It all felt a little ghoulish to her, but she wasn’t going to say it. She was there to support her fiancé and make sure he was getting better. Then she’d...

A buzz filled the room. It took Pepper a second the figure out that it was her cell phone. Blushing at the obvious faux-pas, she blurted a hurried apology, grabbed her phone and dashed out into the hall.

“Pepper Potts speaking,” she answered, fumbling with the phone before pressing it firmly to her ear.

“Pepper? It’s James.”

She cringed. ‘James’ meant that Rhodey was currently surrounded by mucky-mucks, which was strange because that call didn’t need to be made until, she glance at her watch, “Rhodey! It’s 9:30!”

“I know!” he exclaimed. “I was worried something was wrong with Tony when you didn’t call in. Is everything alright?”

Pepper lost herself for a second. She never lost track of time! Never!

“Pepper?”

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” She came back to herself and panicked. “Please extend apologies for my lateness to the others. I’ll grab my briefcase from the other room and head to my office, okay? I shouldn’t be more than five minutes. Promise!”

Rhodey sounded understanding, so she allowed herself to take a quick breath after letting him go and then rushed back into Tony’s room. She just needed to collect her briefcase, head back to work, and get the day back on track.

She came up short, however, when she caught a glimpse of Tony’s wound— exposed to her for the first time.

It definitely wasn’t what she’d been expecting and it took that realization for the room to spin, tilt, and then disappear from around her.

She was out before she hit the floor.

* * * * * *

Pepper woke with a start, and a headache.

“Pepper?”

Confused, she scanned the room, only barely relaxing when Rhodey stepped up to her bedside.

“Hey, Pepper, are you with me now?”

She nodded, but still didn’t understand, “What...?” her voice cracked so she cleared it and tried again. “What happened?”

He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, “You, Ms. Potts, fainted.”

Pepper glared at him, “I did not...” She coughed from the dryness of her throat.

“Hang on, Pep. Let me just...” Rhodey stood to get her a glass of water from the stand beside her bed and then handed it to her. “Be careful,” he added as he watched her hands shake.

She took the glass and took a dainty sip. It was as she pulled the glass away that she saw the IV in her forearm. She straightened up and threw her arm out to show him, ignoring the sway as she made the movement. “No. I don’t need this.” Of course, she didn’t! She was fine. “You can take this out, right?”

“I could, but I won’t, Pep. Don’t be ridiculous,” he spoke calmly. “You passed out, and I’m here to make sure you stay right there and take care of yourself.” He gave the bed a poke, then sat back in his chair crossing his arms and making like he had the final word.

Pepper stared at him for a second, trying to determine just how far Rhodey would take his apparently self-appointed role. She looked down at her wrist and scowled. “Rhodey, where’s my watch?”

He smiled sweetly, “I have it in my pocket, along with your wedding band, if you must know. I’m keeping it safe and sound until you’re ready to leave.”

She rolled her eyes. “I can take them back now. I’m too busy for all of this so I’m just going to—“ She sat up fully and swung her legs over the edge of the bed opposite to Rhodey while looking at the clock on the wall.

Dammit! She’d already missed several phone calls with the United Nations and Tony would be upset if anything happened to the Parkers’ things while they were— (See items #5-9)

She made a plan on the fly. “If I leave now, I can call into my board meeting and send out a couple of emails to cover the calls that I missed out on...”

Rhodey came around to the other side of the bed and stood directly in front of her. “Pepper,” he put a hand on her knee, pretending he could stop her from standing up and walking out the door. “You have nothing to do for the foreseeable future.” He took a really good look at his good friend. “Really, Pep? You’ve gotta stop for a sec. When’s the last time you got a really good night’s sleep?”

She pointed an accusatory finger in his face. “Don’t Rhodey! You, of all people, know what it’s like to have to clean up after Tony—and I know this isn’t his fault, I know!” Her chin quivered. “There’s just so much to do and—“

He cut her off, “And there are people who are here to help you.”

A tear trickled down her cheek. “You know I’m not wired that way,” A few more escaped.

“Trust me. I know—and I’m pretty sure that’s why none of us understand how you ended up with that lughead in the next room.”

She smiled as she wiped away the tears, thinking of how lucky she was that he loved her, if she was being completely honest. And then she remembered. “Tony! Oh, no! I have to—I should be there and I’m here...“ Pepper weakly pushed Rhodey’s hand away so she could slide off the bed.  

“Pepper, don’t.”

Both Pepper and Rhodey froze as Dr. Cho came into the room.

She had been on her way to update Pepper about her and Tony from the looks of all the two clipboards in her hand, but tossed them aside and rushed forward when she saw that Pepper was getting upset. “Hey, hey, Pepper. It’s okay. Everyone is okay.” She stepped in front of Pepper, effectively bumping Rhodey to the sidelines. “Pepper? Do you hear me? Tony’s fine, I promise.”

Pepper’s breathing had definitely picked up so she nodded that ‘yes’ she’d heard and Tony was fine but still... “I need to be there, Dr. Cho! I was supposed to know what—what was going on and I’m such a—“

“No.” Dr. Cho took charge of the conversation. “I’ve just left Tony and he is absolutely on the mend. Dr. Rainert thinks that healing rates are perhaps even accelerated by the nanoparticles, but that just means the wound is healing faster.” She looked Pepper in the eye. “Are you hearing what I’m saying?”

Pepper nodded.

“Good. Now,” Dr. Cho, ever the consummate professional, gently manoeuvred Pepper back into the bed as she spoke. “You, Ms. Potts are exactly where you are supposed to be.” She grabbed a fresh blanket from the end of the bed, and with a precision borne of years of practice, covered Pepper up. “You need to be taking care of yourself, too.”

Pepper pulled her arms out from under the blanket and petulantly crossed her arms in front of her.

Rhodey gave a low whistle from the wall he’d stationed himself at. “You’re not gonna make this easy on anyone, are you, Pep?”

Pepper simply glared in answer.

“Well,” Dr. Cho clapped her hands together to bring their attention to her. “I’m actually going to need to talk to Ms. Potts about some test results now so, Rhodey, if I could get you to step out into the hallway for a few minutes, I’d be most appreciative.”

The defiance changed to fear in a flash. “No! He stays! Please?” She looked at her dear friend and held out a hand for him to take. “You’ll stay, right?”

He stepped closer, grabbing ahold of her hand in both of his. “All you have to do is ask, Pep.” 

She smiled in relief and took a deep breath. “Okay.” Pepper looked at Dr. Cho. “What’s going on?”

Dr. Cho took a second to retrieve the clipboards from where they’d been discarded on the floor and then pulled up a rolling stool to the side of the bed. “Well, I think it goes without saying that after seeing you this morning, I suspected that this would be a simple case of exhaustion and sleep deprivation.” She put Tony’s clipboard aside and flipped some pages on Pepper’s chart. “But with aliens and spaceships suddenly landing in our backyard and in light of recent events,” she paused to give weight to those events, “Well, I figured more blood work would be the better bet.” She was oddly nervous and smiling strangely as she spoke up, “And I don’t normally give this type of news but, you, Pepper Potts, are pregnant.”

It was a good thing she was already lying down.

Her mouth opened as though she were about to say something, but nothing came out. And she was going to say something, really! But then all she could think was ‘Morgan’—not her strange uncle, but their Morgan.

The silence stretched. Neither Rhodey nor Dr. Cho seemed willing to interrupt Pepper’s processing.

Eventually, Pepper did find words. “I have so much to do,” she breathed out.

“You have absolutely nothing to do for the next two weeks,” Dr. Cho contradicted her gently.

“Two weeks? But...”

“But nothing,” Dr. Cho continued. “I may not be an OB, but your blood pressure is high—really high. I have blood work that indicates some deficiencies that need to be addressed as soon as possible. To start, your iron and B12 levels are hovering dangerously close to low, which tells me that you’ve been powering through even before all of this insanity with coffee. Which brings me to,” she gestured to the IV bag. “You were dehydrated, too, so you know. It wasn’t the worst I’ve seen, but I’m guessing it’s been a particularly busy few days?”

She whispered, “Yes.”

Dr. Cho took hold of the hand closest to her. “You’re going to need to learn how to rest, Pepper.”

She shook her head ‘no’ as she worked herself up, “I can’t! Tony and---“

“And nothing. You’re good friend, Colonel Rhodes here is going to help me roll this bed next door to Tony’s room. Okay? And then we’re going to monitor your blood pressure for a bit—most likely till tomorrow.” She got up, quickly set up the blood pressure monitor beside Pepper’s bed, and wrapped the cuff around her arm.  “ There. We’ll get started with that now. That way, you can keep an eye on Tony while we keep an eye on both of you. Fair?”

Pepper looked from Dr. Cho to Rhodey, “Rhodey, you know I can’t,” she pleaded with him. “I can’t just walk away from everything. You know how much there is to do!”

Dr. Cho pressed a button, and the blood pressure cuff inflated. It was moments later that an alarm starting blaring through the room. She silenced it after a few, point making moments. Dr. Cho said nothing, just gave her a knowing look.

Rhodey, however, was looking unimpressed. “You know you’re not walking away! C’mon, Pepper. You’re a smart woman who has surrounded herself with smart people! You’re gonna have to learn how to delegate, and right quick, lady, ‘cause that’s my niece or nephew in there—and I already know you’d do anything for them... and that include keeping YOU healthy.”

Weakness washed over Pepper in that moment and she sunk back into the bed as she suddenly began to cry.

Dr. Cho quietly excused herself from the room.

“Hey, now. None of that, Pep.” Rhodey wiped some tears from her cheek. “Yeah, things are rough right now, but you’ve still got Tony! And you’ve got me when he’s being an idiot...”

She managed a huff of a laugh.

“Just rest your eyes for a bit, ‘kay?”

“But—“

“No buts, Pepper. First, Tony will kick my ass if I don’t take care of you the way he would if he were up and around.” He pulled the blanket up to her chin. “And second, you cannot convince me that there is not some ‘Pepper-certified’ list to end all lists floating around in that briefcase of yours for me to work off of.”

She moved to get up, but a gentle press to her shoulder had her resting back on the pillows.

“Trust me, Pepper. I’ve got this. It’s in your briefcase, right?”

“Yes.” She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be embarrassed or not.

Rhodey looked her in the eye. “Pepper?”

She looked up at him with trusting eyes. “Just... please?” She was suddenly so damned tired.

“Go to sleep, Pepper,” Rhodey whispered. “When you wake up, you’ll be with Tony next door and I’ll have some books and magazines ready for you to devour, so you don’t get bored, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I promise you, Pepper, it’s going to be okay in the end.”

And as she fell into slumber, she hoped and prayed for all their sakes, that he was right.

* * * * * *

It was very early the next morning when Tony finally opened his eyes. Pepper was sitting up in the bed next to him, reading a magazine by the bar of light behind her, completely engrossed and missing out on the man awake beside her.

He sounded weak, but in true Tony fashion, the first whispered words out of his mouth were, “I know. I’d miss me, too, but you could have slept in your own bed.”

She smiled big, and slid out of her bed to be next to him. “Tony!” she whispered excitedly, “I’m so glad your awake.” She leaned over to give him a kiss and then looked up to check the door to the room.

He looked over too, wondering what he was missing, and almost asked when Pepper distracted him. “How are you feeling?” She still spoke quietly. “Do we need to call a doctor?”

He smiled lovingly at her and raised a hand to cup her cheek. “I’m fine. Tired.” His eyes were already starting to fall again. “Pep,” his smile turned sad. “I lost Peter.”

“I know, Tony.” She caressed his cheek.

She wasn’t even sure that he knew he’d started crying as the exhaustion pulled at him. “I don’t know how I’m...” he trailed off and sobbed. “I just don’t know if I’ll ever be happy again.”

Pepper’s heart shattered for the man she was going to marry—and then came back together for the child she now carried. “Tony, you’ll be happy again. I promise.”

He clumsily wiped at his wet cheeks, “You can’t know that,” he grumbled and tried to turn away from her.

She clasped his hand in hers and smiled. “I do know, Tony, because you gave me something that will give us both so much joy...”

He was obviously getting confused by her vaguery, so she simply leaned over and whispered into his ear. “I’m pregnant.”

He pulled back so he could look at her fully. She guessed that he didn’t quite believe her, especially after that day at the park. He must have seen something though, because he asked, “Really?”

She just nodded. “And we’re going to figure out how to be happy, both for the baby and for us... and part of figuring that out is getting our Peter back, right? We can’t be whole until little one has a big brother and a crazy Italian aunt, okay?”

He nodded emphatically, “Okay.”

A matronly looking nurse chose that moment to enter the room. “Ms. Potts, you’re not supposed to be out of bed, so let’s get you tucked back in before Dr. Cho decides to extend the BP study.”

She seemed friendly enough so Pepper worked the distraction angle, “But look!” She pointed to Tony. “He’s awake!”

The nurse was onto her and made sure that Pepper knew it. She address Tony first, “Good morning, Mr. Stark, I’m Jody, your wife’s nurse. Is there anything that you need before I help your wife?”

He seemed to still be stuck so he just shook his head ‘no.’

“Alright,” she smiled at him. “I’m going to get your nurse to you right away.” She reached up beside his head and pressed the call button, and then she turned to Pepper, “What is this? The fourth or fifth time since my shift started?” She pointed to the bed. “

She just shrugged and made her way back to her bed. “Are we talking ones that you know about?”

Jody just smiled. “Stay put so you can get out of that bed and visit with your husband properly, okay?”

An idea came to her mind, so Pepper nodded in agreement and waited for Jody and the whirlwind of medical staff to take care of Tony and go.

When the room finally emptied and Tony was ready to drop from exhaustion, she slid out of her bed for hopefully the last time. Tony chuckled as he watched her drag a blood pressure machine from her side of the room to his bed.

“You paid for really big med bay beds, babe. I’ve decided to come and visit,” she announced. He looked like he was going to try to shuffle over but she stopped him cold. “Don’t move. I’ll fit—for now.” And she situated herself beside Tony with ease. “There!”

If he’d been tired before, by the time Pepper had joined him in bed, he’d practically melted in contentedness. “We’ll talk about this when I’m ‘wake, right?” He asked.

“Of course, Tony.”

“And we’ll be happy ‘gain?

She smiled to herself and rested a hand on her belly. “Forever.”

 @febuwhump

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you sit on the couch or the floor? I’d definitely choose the couch over the floor. 

How many different colleges have you gone to? Two-- a community college and a UC. How much stress can you handle? It doesn’t take much at all before I get overwhelmed.

What is something you have to do before you go to sleep every night? I like to listen to ASMR. 

How confident are you in achieving your dreams? Sigh. I’m a mess. I don’t even really have any dreams I want to achieve right now. I don’t have the motivation or the energy. I don’t have any confidence in myself. I really need to get my shit together.

What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? I didn’t think I’d end up like this. I didn’t have a definite plan with what I wanted to do after college, but I can assure you this wasn’t it.

Have you ever disowned a friend or family member for their beliefs? No.

At what point in your life do you think you will be truly happy? I don’t know. :(

Do you ever make pictures or shapes out of the markings in the ceiling? I did that as a kid sometimes.

Do you ever feel like your life is too boring or predictable? It most definitely is.

Do you really think money will buy your, or anyone else’s, happiness? It can certainly help. I think it could bring some happiness, like happy moments and things that bring joy, but it wouldn’t cure my depression and the other stuff I’m dealing with. It wouldn’t just go away. At the end of the day, I’d still be left with those things. The thoughts and feelings would still be there. Those feelings and thoughts hit me in the middle of doing something I like or if I’m having a good time now and I don’t see that changing if I became financially better off. 

Is shopping a form of therapy for you? No.

Do you have to take medication for any mental illness? I’m not currently taking anything for it.

Do you believe it is possible for someone to change? Yes, of course. 

What is your favorite food to snack on when watching t.v.? I’m not a big snacker, but lately I have been into sourdough bread and spinach and artichoke dip.

Do you like looking at pictures? Yeah.

Have you ever set 2 people up and it actually worked out? It did for a little while.

Are you good at persuading? Uhh. Depends.

How do you feel about tattoos and piercings? I’m not super into them for myself, but I think they can be cool.

Do you care what people think? Yes and no. Not as much as I used to. I wish it was because I’m now this happy and confident person, but no. 

How many dirty looks have you received today? None.

If a loved one who’d died showed up at your door, what would you do? Uh, I’d be scared and freaked out to say the least and extremely confused. I honestly don’t know what I would do or say. I think it’d be a roller coaster of emotions. If it really were them then I’d be overwhelmed and cry and want to hug them and talk to them and omg I’d be a mess. It would feel so surreal. I’d also have a lot of questions.

Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I like to believe they give us little signs.

How many times have you looked at a picture and wished you were there? Many times.

And your name is? Stephanie.

How do you like your coffee? With flavored creamer or cream and sugar.

Do you have a job? If so, what do you do? No.

If unemployed, what do you do to keep yourself busy? My days consist of rest, social media, TV, YouTube, Tumblr, reading, playing Animal Crossing, surveys, and spending time with family.

Top 3 favorite foods, go: Wingstop’s garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, ramen, and breakfast sandwiches.

What does the person who texted you last mean to you? My mom means everything to me.

How do you feel about polyamory? Not something I would be okay with.

When did you last have sex? Was it good? Never.

Which apps on your phone do you use the most? YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and Kindle.

Do you go through phases when it comes to music genres, or are you pretty consistent in what you listen to? I’m consistent. 

Does death scare you? Yes.

If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? I’d have good health, mentally and physically.

Which family member do you get along with the most? My mom and brother..

Do you like horror movies? Why or why not? Yesss. 

Do you play video games? If so, what are some of your favorites? I’ve been playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the past year.

How often do you eat fast food? Quite often.

Do you like sushi? Nooo.

Would you ever be able to become a vegan? No.

How often do you drink alcohol? I don’t. I haven’t drank going on 8 years now.

What was your favorite toy as a child? I was obsessed with Barbies.

Who was your first best friend? What is your favorite memory of/with them? Are you two still friends? These two girls, Crystal and Starr, in preschool. I remember they came to my birthday party at Chuck E Cheese; that was fun. No, we lost touch after preschool. 

If you could see anyone in concert, living or dead, who would it be? I wish I could have seen Linkin Park with Chester. :(

If you were to get married, would you rather have a big extravagant wedding or a small private affair? Explain your answer. I don’t plan on getting married. I really just don’t see it in the cards for me.

Do you want kids? Why or why not? No.

How did you meet your newest friend? I don’t have any friends.

Have you ever watched the show Teen Mom? What did you think about it? Yeah, I watch Teen Mom OG and Teen Mom 2.

Are you old enough to remember MySpace? Yeah, of course. I’m old.

Where is the boy you want most? There isn’t one.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? Right here.

How old is the last person you kissed? He just turned 30.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to text you? My brother.

Can you make yourself sneeze? No. Tilting my head back and looking at a bright light doesn’t seem to work for me.

What is your current mood? Blah.

What are you doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

Who was the last person to sleep in your bed besides yourself? I’m the only one.

Do you think you would make a good boyfriend/girlfriend? Not at this time, no.

Where were you at 9am this morning? I was in bed, asleep.

Whose bedroom were you in last? I’m in mine. Do you think you’ll be a good mother/father? I don’t want to have kids.

Do you talk to the person you like everyday? I’m not interested in anyone right now.

Do you have trouble deleting your text messages? I’ve never had a reason to delete them.

Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? Ehhhh.

Would you rather rent or buy movies? I like watching them through a streaming service.

What is the best part of your own body? Nothing.

Would you rather watch a full season of American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance? American Idol, I guess.

Do you like to take walks? No.

Have you ever gone anywhere for spring break? Yeah, my former best friend and I took a few small trips.

Do you worry a lot? Yeppp.

Would you rather have big or small dogs? Medium dog.

Do you mind being cold? I much prefer it to being hot. I like wrapping up in a blanket or lounging around in a sweatshirt or drinking a warm drink.

What is your favorite sports drink? I don’t drink any sports drinks.

Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? This is it.

What is your favorite candy? White chocolate.

Do you document everything in pictures? Not everything, but I do like taking pictures of things I want to remember and having those memories.

Have you ever waited for something for so long and then had it snatched from right underneath you when it seemed so close to grasp? Yes.

Choose one: being able to teleport yourself anywhere in the world at any given time or being able to fly? Teleport, hands down.

Do you feel more comfortable in public wearing jeans or sweatpants? I’m a leggings gal.

What is something that most people wouldn’t know about you from simply looking at you? I take surveys. <<< Ha, true.

Do you fear growing older? Yes.

Have you ever been called a tease? Yes and I was like wtf? I wasn’t the one leading them on or playing with their emotions like they were. 

Is there something that reminds you of someone every time you see or hear it? Yeah, many things like that with different people.

Do you trust all of your friends? I don’t have any friends.

Does The X-Files theme song give you the goosebumps? It did when I was a kid.

Have you ever taken the batteries out of a Ferbie only to have it come alive in the middle of the night? Omg, that did happen once! Those things were freaky.

Don't you find those black cat clocks with the moving eyes and tail just a little creepy? lol yeah they kinda are.

When things get bad, are you more likely to blame yourself or somebody else? Myself. 

Are most of your friends' biological parents married or divorced? Do you remember those commercials that scared kids into not playing around railroad tracks? No?

Do you ever wish your life was a sitcom, just so all your problems could be solved in thirty minutes? That would be nice.

Have you ever noticed how different everybody's 1st, 2nd, and 3rd bases are? I feel like it’s the same general idea.

Do you tend to set yourself up for disappointment? I’m always expecting the worst case scenarios, so.

Would you ever call a guy back and say, "Oh, sorry. I was taking a hot shower"? No.

Who do you get most of relationship advice from: guys or girls? I used to get it from both. Although, oddly, I was the one people came to for relationship more often and I had none.

Have you ever put your all into someone and got nothing back? Yes.

Do you think that you, personally, have been more shaped by experiences or by people? Experiences.

Do people ever make fun of your religion or lack thereof? Not to me, personally, but yes people do make fun of Christianity.

Have you ever put the television on mute and tried dubbing in new dialogue? No.

Do you say/do things a lot for shock effect? No.

If you were in an iPod commercial, what would you want your background color to be? They don’t make those commercials anymore, but rose gold.

What was the last compliment you gave a guy? I don't know.

Do you usually follow your head, instincts, or heart more? They all play a role, it just depends. I suppose my emotions do probably play a bigger role.

Where do you spend most of your waking time at home? In my room.

Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It pops sometimes.

With just your life, are you more optimistic, realistic, or pessimistic? Definitely pessimistic.

Is it hard for you to ask for help? Yes.

Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids "the talk"? No. I don’t want to have kids.

Do you ever feel like you're missing out on something? Yeah, life.

Is your high school ANYTHING like the ones in the movies? My high school experience was nothing like that, but I feared it would be going in. Movies never paint high school in a good light.

Are you going to be totally screwed if pigs start flying tomorrow? I don’t recall ever really saying I’d do something if pigs fly or anything like that. I don’t think...

Have you ever finished taking a shower and realize that there are no dry towels? I always grab a towel beforehand.

Do you love listening to sad piano solos? Sometimes.

Was one of your grandpas in a war? My paternal grandpa was.

Did you ever actually try to find the end of a rainbow? As a kid, I’m sure.

Are you afraid of jinxing things? Sometimes. 

Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did that as a kid.

If you were married, and your spouse's parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? I’m very close with my family so I would certainly understand and would want to do what we could to help. 

Have you screamed in a pillow before? For sure.

If a guy put his jacket on a puddle for you, would you actually walk on it or just look at him like he was crazy? lol aww I would be like you really didn’t have to do that now your jacket is all wet and dirty. We can just go around. I’m in a wheelchair, so that wouldn’t do much good anyway lol.

Would any of your friends dress up like a cow for a free chicken sandwich from Chikfila?

What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Acoustic.

Have you ever ordered something off a commercial on television? Nope.

What do you notice more, somebody's eyes or smile? Smile.

Did you actually have a cookie jar? We did when I was little.

Have you ever put on a shirt that came straight out of the dryer? Yessss. I love that.

Sometimes, does it feel like your life isn't going anywhere? That’s exactly how I’ve felt these past few years.

You've reach a fork in the road, do you go left or right? Hm. Right.

Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them? Not flat out ignore, but I become distant and short. I don’t initiate conversation with them.

What's worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed, definitely.

Have you ever gotten up early the next morning to do homework or study? Yes, but I usually just stayed up late and finished instead. I didn’t want to risk waking up late or running out of time and stressing about it.

Do you still consider Pluto a planet? I always still include it. 

Right now, are you at a high, leveled, or low point? “And I’m at an all time low low low low low low low....”

When things go from bad to worse, have you ever been afraid of what kind of person you would be when it was all over? These past few years have made be become someone I absolutely do not want to be. :/

Do you honestly believe that good things come to those who wait? It can for some. Sometimes it seems like people are really just handed stuff with minimal to no effort, but generally speaking you have to work at it. I don’t think you can just sit around waiting, you have to get up and do it. And that’s something I need to do. I go on about how each year nothing changes and I’m worried about wasting away and doing nothing with my life, but I am doing anything to try and change that? Am I taking any steps? 

What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? I’m always biting my lips. I pick at my nails constantly, but I don’t bite them.

Have you ever wanted to fast forward your life so you could see if it was worth it? Sometimes, but I’d be afraid to actually do that if given the chance.

Do you think that knowing when and how you're going to die would ruin your life? I really don’t want to know.

Did you ever feel bad for Tom and Sylvester? Jerry and Tweety did often tease and provoke. You can’t help but feel kinda bad for Tom and Sylvester sometimes. 

[alia15]

Turning Over a New Leaf

My house is cleaner.

I’m more relaxed.

More productive.

More active.

Dare I say...happier?

Happy? In this climate?? How does one go about finding this happiness I speak of? 

Well, for me, it was simple. Set an alarm.

I know, I know: what a concept. But something happened to me about a month ago and I realized that I had a lot of problems, stressors and time management issues in my life....

And I was to blame.

The thing is, I didn’t know I was to blame. I blamed my Microsoft Outlook Calendar which is jam-packed every single weekday with meetings and calls. I blamed the steady stream of emails that flowed into my inbox every minute. I blamed chiropractor visits twice a week that I had to work into my busy schedule. I blamed weekend plans and obligations and errands and everyone...but myself. Because while all the things I listed are very real, there was one person getting in the way of finding free time and well, “me” time, and that person was me.

So, I decided to make some changes. I don’t know about you, but when I make changes, I really MAKE them. They have to be well thought-out and documented. I started thinking about all the factors that were causing me grief and stress over the last few months, and tried to address them:

That’s some set of rules.

I put my money where my mouth is and instead of just making a list of goals on my iPhone’s Notes app, I actually...did the things. I set my alarm for 7am every day. I don’t have to start working until about 9ish, so that was going to give me some extra time to do... WHATEVER. Anything. Even if it was spacing out and having coffee while watching Saved by the Bell reruns, it was better than what I *had* been doing, which is laying in bed until about 9:00 (er, 9:15 some days) and then scrambling like a mad woman to start my day. Frantic. Aggravated. Rushing.

And, for what? I work from home now, and likely will be for a while. Why was I torturing myself? How many days could I get out of bed late and then turn on my computer only to realize I had a meeting in 15 minutes? How many days could I spend sitting at my desk working, and ONLY working all day, realizing when I signed off later that I never really moved much, never went outside, never took a real break?

It was unhealthy, and it made me unhappy.

I also started to wonder why I was getting out of bed so late, ESPECIALLY since my body clock typically wakes me up around 7:30 or 8:00am. If I was up, why didn’t I...ya know, get up? Physically? 

I knew why.

The damn phone. We all do it. We wake up, and before anything else we grab that little device that connects us to the world with the touch of a button. What news alerts do I have; what happened overnight since I went to bed? What’s going on in Twitter World? What’s trending? Let me check Facebook and see whose birthday it is! Let’s scroll through Instagram and Tik Tok and Snapchat AND OH MY GOD IT’S 9:20???? How the hell did an HOUR AND A HALF go by??

Nope. No more. I made a ‘rule’ that I’d set an alarm, and even if I needed a few minutes (or hell, 30 minutes) to lay in bed before getting up, the one thing I could NOT do is scroll through my phone. And guess what? It helps. IT HELPS A LOT. Let me tell you all the things I did this morning: Wednesday, October 14:

dusted & cleaned some windows

rode the stationary bike for 30 minutes 

threw in a load of laundry

had breakfast (hard boiled eggs & some turkey bacon) and coffee 

caught up on the morning news

got ready for the day: makeup, outfit, hair

started this blog post

And I did this all before 9am. 

The catalyst for making these changes happened one weekend in September when my parents were here helping me out with some outdoor cleanup and gardening. They were so helpful in undoing some of the damage Leo and I had done over the summer: we had overgrown plants, weeds, a messy/sandy deck, and we needed some serious ASSISTANCE. And while I appreciated the help, I also felt guilty. Why hadn’t I taken care of this myself? Why did I keep hearing the same phrase come out of my mouth multiple times that day while my parents were over?

“I don’t have the time.”

That was my response when I was asked why I don’t go to Home Depot to get some new outdoor fall stuff. That was my response when asked about watering plants or plucking weeds out of the ground. I DON’T HAVE THE TIME, OKAY?! I AM A VERY BUSY WOMAN!!! 

And, I am. We’re all busy to some extent. And sometimes, it IS hard to find the time for things: house things, chores things, exercise things. But you CAN make the time. You can better USE your time. Since I’ve been getting up earlier each weekday, I’ve used those hours in the mornings for productivity quite often. On weekends, we’ve taken the free time we DO have (before or after plans we might have) to do the things we don’t get to during the week. Just this past weekend, before going to my sister-in-laws house to celebrate our birthdays, Leo and I went to a local preserve in our town to get a walk in. On a recent Sunday when Leo was watching the Jets, I did a LONG OVERDUE closet organization. For me, personally, spending my limited and precious free time on my phone or watching TV makes me feel shitty. Sometimes it’s okay, but I’m generally a happier person when I feel like I’ve gotten things done. 

Oh yeah, and I’m happier the more I MOVE. This isn’t about weight loss or some unhealthy diet culture; this is about overall physical and mental health. Look at how little I moved in August and September. I felt it.

Let’s be real: this year has been TOUGH. We’ve had to make so many adjustments to all the curveballs tossed our way, and we’ve had to navigate the countless changes. But, despite how long we’ve been doing this whole corona dance, it’s never too late to pivot and turn things around. Since March, I’ve been trying to find ways to better myself and find ways to improve my daily life all while working around a challenging work-from-home sitch, a bad back, and a bunch of other obstacles. 

This isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, and I know everyone is different, but if you’re anything like me and think you can benefit from some inspo, great. I wrote this post in hopes that I’d potentially motivate someone to make a change that could help make them happier. The few times I’ve shared this with people -- in person or on social media -- I usually get a response along the lines of “I need to start doing this.” Or, similarly, a coworker/friend recently DID take my advice, and wrote me to tell me:

...am I a self-help guru???

Bottom line, take care of yourself. I know it’s hard, and sometimes it takes some effort. But it’s important: especially in a year like this one.

Stay safe & healthy!

-Ali