#mayhaps i shall go crazy

[sunniemightdraw]

Me and my sister made some HC for sonic & friends & not friends

-Amy is a quill-less hedgehog and thats wht she doesnt have spikes on her back or a longer noes (bc shes litterally different)

-maria was a hedgehog bc humans r icky and she was adopted into the robotniks

-Eggman (along with gerald) are actually Half mobian half humans Bc my sister pointed out Robotnik looks like a mole? (the little animal, with the noes and the glasses) so hes that-

-Shadow is gender fluid, because not only could he care less(sometimes) but his soul is a copy of marias, who as far as we know is a cis girl, So by most accounts, Shadow should be female, (unless maria is trans to or somthing idk)

-And silver has more stripes of blue stuff on him 👍

-Also Metal sonic likes butterflys 🦋

anyone who reads this is prolly gonna do this to me without knowing i have 70 billion more complex HC that no one shall ever know about

okay thats all, bye guys

[jedimasterbailey]

Hello! Hope you are drinking enough water! I was wondering if mayhaps you had any headcanons for Mace and Luminara? The idea of them being padawan-siblings is something my brain will not let go of. 💚💜

Hello there! 🤗 Ask and you shall receive! I love that you also love the idea of Mace and Luminara possibly being Padawan siblings because we don’t really see that in Star Wars and I think it would be the cutest thing ever and I like how some fic writers nowadays are utilizing this idea into their work now. Here are some headcanons I’ve had about the two of them and their relationship.

1.) They 100% meet with each other often for some tea (or an adult beverage depending on the day) and talk about their girls (Depa and Barriss) and their Master. With their age difference, Luminara is definitely the one to constantly ask for advice on how to raise and teach Barriss.

2.) Luminara’s need for perfectionism drives Mace crazy. For as long as Mace has known his little sister, Luminara has always been the goody two shoes girl where he was more rebellious when he was younger. This perfectionism runs into adulthood and Mace is always having to tell her to chill out .

3.) They are complete opposites when it comes to everything. Luminara likes to things like speeder biking all over Coruscant and hanging out with her friends whereas Mace likes a quiet evening in with his plants and a good holobook. Luminara enjoys romance, Mace is more aromantic. Luminara enjoys using the Force more whereas Mace prefers lightsaber first. Luminara prefers a more defensive lightsaber stance where Mace takes on Vaapad and so on. Yet they still have common ground with their girls and they care and respect each other nonetheless.

4.) Mace has offered Luminara to be on the Jedi High Council but she turns him down only to be fully committed to Barriss (plus she doesn’t really enjoy politics).

5.) Mace and Luminara both know how to dance as dance is rich in Mirialan culture and it was important to their Master that they learn.

6.) Luminara is secretly the only one Mace would trust with his Padawan and grand Padawan. Thus had Luminara lived, she would have had Maces blessing to continue his lineage.

7.) Mace deeply felt for Luminara and was hurt by Barriss having fallen as he feels he could have saved her. He goes easy on Luminara and lets her grieve how she needs to.

8.) Mace is protective of Luminara when it comes man or woman that expresses romantic interest in his sister.

9.) Luminara was very angry with Mace after Obi-Wans fake death as she truly felt that she lost a man she loved very much.

And I’m sure I have more but these would be my biggest headcanons, hope you like and thank you for the ask! 💚💜

[definitelynotshouting]

OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT IT WAS CHRISTMAS I WAS SO TIRED LMAO MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

I actually had the BEST luck on the plane- no babies and NOBODY WAS COUGHING. I still wore a mask but that was the first time I've ever been able to sleep on a plane it was revolutionary. Never had a plane so quiet.

LOL Queen Jellie :3 She's exactly like my cat: spoiled and damn pleased about it. It's okay though because she's cute.

Also the "it's Scar's point, now,". Desert duo try and communicate normally challenge. These two CANNOT hold a conversation without trying to one-up each other or committing to some bit and thats why we love them <3 silly (affectionately)❤️

YOURE A CHEESE PERSON AS WELL?!?? Red dragon is SO good, excellent choice. The espresso one sounds interesting! I've never had coffee flavoured cheese-- im fond of one and not the other-- but if you you recommend it i might have to give it a go :o. My own favourites arent anything exciting; i just like a good gouda or smoked cheddar (i love smoked cheeses)

Anyway, ty for indulging my airport boredom haha :D. Im back home in Malaysia (where i grew up) for a couple of weeks before going back to Australia. Thoroughly ready to gorge myself on malaysian food and fruits AND ENJOY CONSISTENT WEATHER BECAUSE MELBOURNE CAN AND HAS HAILED!! AT 24+ DEGREES CELSIUS (75 F)!!!! NOT OKAY HADKDBSJSJ

-☀️

HI SUN ANON I HOPE MALAYSIA IS TREATING U WELL!!!!!! I was gonna respond sooner but holidays went and knocked me on my ass dkdbdjdnf. Also WIN THE TRAVEL BLESSING WORKED /SILLY 😌😌😌😌😌 glad u had a good flight king 🫡🫡🫡

I am indeed a cheese person!!!! Huge cheese fan, also i think you're the first person ive ever spoken to who has any idea what Red Dragon is right off the bat 😂😂😂😂😂 but yeah i love cheese so fucking much-- for xmas we had the aforementioned espresso, as well as several other bellavitano cheeses including a merlot, a bourbon, and garlic and herb. Plus a very nice and very soft, crumbly bleu. It wasnt Stilton, which is my personal fave, but it honestly held up really well when i made my traditional christmas snacks (petite toasts with bleu cheese, blackberry jam, and a walnut on top :] )

And yeah scarian truly cant communicate without making it a competition and its KILLING MEEEEEE DDJEHFKNFDKFNN im so obsessed with them and their dynamic, im glad you liked that moment!!! I was planning to post the fic the day after xmas but alas the holiday stress/burnout got to me before i could 😭😭😭 SOON THO!!!! Mayhaps even for the new year, we shall see!!!!

Hope ur having fun, sun anon!!! :D i'd love to hear more about the food ur having over there (also ur SO valid for the consistent weather comment, i grew up in Texas which can sometimes have crazy weather patterns so o7 about the hail in 75°F weather 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭) thanks for dropping by!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

[lov4hgirl]

i wholeheartedly believe pn heavily plays on fanservice but with the content weve been getting lately,,,,,, who are they really servicing mama bc not even the fans are asking for that 😭 but again you do you sisters #selfservice and us fans shall stay grateful

they are servicing us and they themselves /j but, hey, they are two besties who r comfy with each other so they literally do anything now and we just get to watch and go crazy with it bc we dont think besties do that (and mayhaps theyre a special case)... 🤔🤣

[lemonhemlock]

People get mad at aligon alimond aliron girlies but if any parent is going to fuck their child, i'd put my money on daemon. Baela and rhaena...keep your eyes peeled girls!!!!

you know what i have kept myself from saying this for quite a minute but you drive a hard bargain anon. mayhaps i /shall/ choose violence now at the hour of the witch

with daemon's penchant for grooming, inc3st and valyrian looking little girls, i found it was batshit crazy some black stans were wishing nettles would be replaced in the show with rhaena, not even realizing what they were doing

[skribblz]

highly recommend frantic fanfic for this descent to chaos

thank you @duckymcdoorknob and @rattypattyy for making me question my whole life lmao

TITLE: Right place, right time.

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: deku, kool aid man

WRITERS: weiner , uwu, patty

RATED ALL AGES

Or: The five times the thunder scared Izuku, and the one time the Koolaid Man noticed.

———

As the thunder crashed outside, poor Izuku found himself hiding under whatever he could find. When the first bolt clapped, he took refuge under his school desk, palms flat and painful against his ears,

The second time around, he was changing into his pajamas. So, he hid in the darkness of his closet.

The third, he was trying to sleep. He dove under his covers and quivered under the blanket.

The fourth, he deduced that he wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore. He was trying to finish up some homework, so he had nothing to hide under. he buried his head in his hands and cried out s the crashes erupted through the dorms.

The fifth time, he tried to get some water from the kitchen. When the accursed sound once again echoed, the cup fell from his hand and shattered on the floor.

The green haired boy was startled by a gentle voice asking him if he was okay…

--------------------

The cup shatters into millions of pieces as Izuku quivers to the boom bang sound of my heart go beep go bap go nananananna-"

"No-...no..n-not again" the boy whimpers, hands crossed harshly atop his head. Thunder danced its mighty dance as the window flashbanged him every like 10 secs or smth.

As Izuku was counting the neverending seconds, expecting a loud crash through his window, it was replaced with a resounding BOOM SHAKA LAKA!!!!! He opens his eyes slowly, what was that ethereal sound? Was it god? Did his eardrums burst right after hearing such a girthy, resounding bang?

No...he saw...red

Red as red as red could be. The color of roses, of passion.

"OOOOH YEAHHHHHHHHH!" boomed throughout the kitchen. Wow how crazy no one else has awoken yet, must be anime logic.

Izuku wiped his eyes quickly; he must not show any pain, he was the beacon of hope after all. "Oh- hey- Kool-aid man-kun. You can't sleep either?"

"Midoriya! Good to see ya!" Kool-aid-kun smiled his wack disarming, teethless smile. He stomps towards the student, juices sloshing out of the jar he calls his home. He kneels down, eyes suddenly turning serious. "Hey, are you alright? I know I don't have ears but I could hear you crying."

"Y-yeah...I'm okay now that you're here."

--------------------

"That's great, my boy." Kool Aid Man had patted his back. Before Izuku could speak back, he felt as Kool Aid Man's meaty biceps pried his mouth open, "Stay still, my boy, for you shall know what it's like.... to have the oh yeah." And with that, he started to pour his sweet goodness into his mouth, Deku had no time to react, being forced to melt into the sugary goodness, it was like making out with his dolls when he was younger, but this time, with kool aid. He grasped his handle and slowly poured the rest of him into his gullet, he couldn't stop, it was all too good and tasty, the sudden 'Oh Yeahhhhh' and 'Oof sound' filling the empty room.

He.... passed out... Kool Aid Man tipped a hat he found and stolen Deku's Woody doll, was it a dream? Or... real..? Or mayhaps.... all around me are familiar faces..

TITLE: The Midnight Drive

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: illumi zoldyck, lightning mcqueen

WRITERS: uwu, patty, weiner

RATED ALL AGES

Stars dazzled in the cozy blue sky, warmth ran through the hair, coursing through Illumi's dark locks. The humid breeze combed across the Zoldyck's angular face as his pet car, Lightning Mcqueen raced into the night.

"Oh dear Lightning, your tires they roll so quickly. When I look to the side, all I see are green blurs of the tree tops." The eldest brother poemed.

"Oh thank you master, I work to please you." Mcqueen vroom vroomed with vigor, and once again, Illumi's hair particles are scattered throughout the wind.

"Tell me, what do you think of gingerbread cookies? I am positively dying to know hehe."

--------------------

"I'm a fucking car" Was McQueen's reply, his windshield wipers wiping away any oil that made out he was saddened.

Illumi had turned to notice as he heard the loud scraping of old windshield wipers scratching away his oil,

"Lightning McQueen, my love, I am very sorry, I did not mean to make you cry." He blushed, feeling as his tire crushed his hand in an attempt to grasp onto it, but he didn't care, he loved McQueen, he was the lightning to his kachow, what else more could he want?

"Illumi?" Rattled the car's somehow existent mouth.

--------------------

“Mmm?” The eldest Zoldyck replied, trying to hide remain calm for lightning.

“I want to taste… I want to smell and I want to feel like a human!” Lightning admitted as his tone grew more angry.

Illumi frowned, beginning to of any way that he could help Kightning to meet his dreams.

When the two had parted ways after their encounter, Illumi found himself tirelessly working in the kitchen.

“Since when do you know how to bake, big brother? Killua’s chirping voice echoed through the kitchen.

“I don’t. But, someone special to me needs to be enlightened. So,I’ve spent my morning here.” The eldest brother admitted.

“Oh I see. Have fun” Killua demanded, skipping Round the house.

After four hours of tireless work, Illimi held up a small vial of brown solution.“finally!“

The eldest Zoldyck zooms to find Lightning. He pushed through paparazzi and other cars. “Lightning! Lightnin!” He bellowed, hoping his lover would hear him through the thick crowds

“I’m here, Illu!” Lightning stood on tops of a statue.

“Alright! I’ve got a gift for you.” Illumi announced, holding up the small vial.

Lightning gasped, “you don’t mean…”

“I do! Open up!” The Zoldyck demanded, opening up the race car’s gas cap.

Illumi carefully put some of the solution into the gas tank. Lightning was overwhelmed. His eyes widened as he smiled.

“Can you taste it?” Illumi asked hopefully.

“I can.” Lightning asked as a tear ran down his red cheek.

TITLE: Bikini bottom ginger jeans

FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: shoyo hinata, spongebob

WRITERS: patty, weiner , uwu

RATED ALL AGES

As the morning dawned over, the beautiful world of bikini fucking bottom, had arrived in a new world....

As Sponge of the Bob, woken up, he had thrown Gary outside, because, he has been a bad, bad boy wink. Anywho, he turned to look outside, to see a beautifully short male, playing volleyball in the morning dew...

--------------------

The sponge hid under his window sill as amber eyes met his. His yellow knuckles were still visible as he peered ever so slowly at the person outside of his pineapple.

SpongeBob felt a tinge of bravery. He opened the window and watched as the boy completed his drills and warmups. The sponge was immersed in the orange-haired male’s tactics and behavior. He was not at fall focused on reality, simply staring at the boy.

“Uh… hello?” A mousy voice asked, breaking him from his stare.

Terrified, Spongebob yelped and quickly slammed his window shut. He clutched his spongy heart that was beating out of his chest and hid, praying he hadn’t been caught.

What if he DID get caught? What if the stranger noticed his staring? And what if he had heard the sponge’s inner thoughts this whole time and-“

A knock at the door cut off his thoughts…

--------------------

Sponged bob's non-existent heart leaped out of his chest, so he comically swallows it back into his gut. He was an extrovert sponge, nothing stopped him from socializing. But...this boy...he was just...different.

His shaky hand reached for the door, pushing it open.

Then, he was greeted by the sun itself. Orange hair glowed in the dazzling sunlight, and a smile radiated warmth. It was like...staring into a mirror.

Spungbib smiled in reply, pearly whites that would be quite concerning if found on a sponge shining. Yeah, he flosses. wink, wink.

"Hey sir! Are you into volleyball??" The teen asks, bouncing on his feet. I dont know if theyre underwater, bc if they were tehn hinata would die and if they werent, the sponged bob would die like??????? whatever

"Volleyball? I love volleyball!!!" Spongebob squealed.

"Well...I saw you lookinh through your window and I..." The boy started blushing a bit, juggling the volleyball between his hands. He bits his lips nervously, looking up at the sponge (even tho he's taller) like the cutest puppy. "Would you um....would you be okay with helping me practice?" He shouts! hiding beheind the ball like the shy luttle chihuahua he is.

Spngebob couldnet be happier, he balls his fists and squeaks giddily. "Of course I would!!" But then he too blushes, and starts twiddling his thumbs, "Maybe you can take me out to dinner first...? I would love to get to know you better, I mean!"

Hinata gasps a loud gasp and chokes on his saliva. Spongebob rushes forward in concern, but OH NO he TRIPS-

and falls right on top of the orange-haired male. oh no who couldve seen this coming????

"I- I- I-!"

Suddenly the ball that was thrown up in the air in confusion started its descent towards spongebob's head and he gets bonked. His face slowly gravitates towards his mysterious crush, as if in slo-mo. His lips pucker up as the boy closes his eyes...

Spongebob's lips land right on the teen's forehead.

Both of them blush a pretty shade of red as they shuffle to get off eachother. Both too shocked and embarrassed to say anything for the meantime.

Until one. Break the silence.

"So...what's your name?" Hinata whispers, voice almost lost in the wind.

"Oh- I- My names spongebob." The sponge murmurs huskily. "And you?"

"Hinata, Hinata Shoyo (yo mama)" Hinata stands up and so does the sponge.

they stare at eachothers eyes as the sun sets, colors wisping throughout the sky

and then they shake hands, "whats updog?"

[brazil-hinata]

caught in between: pt. one—trouble

pairing: miya osamu (or maybe atsumu) x f! reader

genre: a cliché title for a cliché story, love triangle between the miya twins, a tiny angst??, mutual pining maybe??, slowburn???, but mostly something light and fluffy and crack

setting: third year of high school, inarizaki high

wc: 1.5k

warnings: none

Right person, wrong timing.

It had always been like that with Atsumu. Ever since you got to know him, the chemistry between you two was just right. Even if none of you had confessed, you both know that the feelings are mutual. Heck, even the entire volleyball team knows you and Atsumu are head over heels for each other.

But the timing was just never right. At least not before. But now that the two of you are seniors, him going to v-league and you to university, mayhaps this time, nothing else can stop the two of you.

*Flashback*

First year of high school.

It bummed you so much that you ended up in the worst class of your year. You were aiming to be in class 7, but because you were sleep-deprived when you took your entrance exam, you didn’t realize that your answers were one space off; which earned you a place in class 1. But it wasn’t as bad as you thought. Being seatmates with Samu and Suna, you naturally got closer with them. At first you thought you wouldn’t click as you have opposing interests, but they’re actually very chill and shares the same vibe as you.

Before you know it, you’ve been spending your Saturdays in the Miya’s household together with Rintarou playing some Xbox and eating some chips. Although you’ve always seen Atsumu in the hallways and you’re close to his twin, it wasn’t until you’ve visited their house that you’ve really spoken to him.

“Whose that nerd?” Was the first thing you’ve heard the moment you step foot in their house. There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd, but Atsumu’s tone was just so condescending and judgy that it pissed you off so much. Besides, you don’t even look like a nerd.

“Y/N, meet the inferior twin and my asshole of a brother, Atsumu. Atsumu, meet Y/N.” Osamu said as he takes off his shoes.

“Oh, hey Y/N.” Atsumu said again, this time more politely.

Instead of acknowledging Atsumu, you decided to be passive-aggressive and speak to the superior twin.

“Dang, samu, how the heck can you tolerate someone like him?” You said loud enough which made Samu smirked and Atsumu’s face crumpled.

“Hey! I heard that!” Atsumu said loudly. Meanwhile Suna is already in the sofa choosing which game to play.

“You started it!” You shouted back.

*End of flashback*

Since then, it’s as if you and Atsumu can’t and won’t stop bickering, even in the stupidest things. Before you know it, he’s already making you laugh. Before you know it, your usual hangouts of four became just you and him. Before you know it, you’ve fallen head over heels for him. Second year came, and finally, you moved to the advanced class. Despite that, you’re still close with Samu and Rin; but your bond with Atsumu was simply incomparable.

But you never dared make any move, and neither did he. Both of you were too career-focused, him with volleyball, you with academics. You knew deep inside that making a move will just ruin the wonderful bond you have right now.

You were brought back to reality when you heard Atsumu called your name.

“Y/N!” He shouted through the hallways.

And there he was, the most beautiful person you’ve ever known. Your lips automatically flashed a wide grin at the sight of him.

“Tsumu!”

You saw him pushing his hair back as he walked towards you. You know him so well that you know he’s doing that to look cool. Well, it was cool, until he tripped over his untied shoelace that turned his face a deep shade of crimson and you bursting out laughing.

“H-hey, y-you okay?” You said between your laughs. It was coming to the point that you can’t breathe anymore.

“J-just help me up, ‘kay?!”

“Oh, dear Atsumu. You’re already in your third year and you’re still just as lame.”

“S-shut up! I’m not lame! I’m the captain of the volleyball team.”

“Yeah, sure, let’s just say that.” You said as you two sat in a bench on the schoolgrounds.

“Hey!”

“Anyway, have you chosen which team are you going to? Are you going to the same team as Rin? I heard from him that it’s division one.” You changed the subject before Atsumu starts another bickering session.

“Nah, Raijin’s in Hiroshima. That’s too far.”

“So you’re just gonna choose a lesser team ‘cause you don’t wanna leave this place?” You know he wouldn’t do this. But you just love to tease and edge him every chance you get.

“Who says I’m choosing a lesser team? If there’s really no good team here then of course I’ll leave. But it just so happens that I received an offer from MSBY, also a division one. And they’re based here.” He said as a smirk formed in his face.

“So… you’re choosing MSBY?”

“Yeah. Their spikers seem pretty to play with. I can’t wait to use Oliver Barnes! And even if he’s a dramatic ass, I wanna try playing with Bokuto too.” He said as his eyes light up talking about the sport he loved most, which made you smile. You could listen to him talk about volleyball all day.

“Why is it so hard for you to leave Kansai anyway?” You asked out of curiosity.

“There’s a lot of reasons to stay.” He said as he stares at your eyes intently and sincerely, which made your heart race. You didn’t want to assume, but he’s saying it as if youare one of the reasons he’s staying.

“A-anyway! I have an interview in Osaka Uni next week!” You said as you wanted to cut off the tension that’s forming.

“Really? Congrats! Though I’ve always known you’d get it!” And to your surprise, he hugged you.

“Tsumu! It’s just an interview! It doesn’t mean that I’m already in!”

“Whatever, the moment they see how impressive you are, I know you’re already in.”

“Tch. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?”

Your conversation was cut off when the school bell rang, signaling the end of the 10-minute break.

“Hey Tsumu, let go!” You said as he was still hugging you.

“Now that we’re finally achieving our dreams, I think it’s time we talk about us.” He whispered, and then kissed your forehead, before quickly walking away, leaving you dumbfounded in the middle of schoolgrounds.

You were five minutes late to class, but you didn’t pay no mind. You didn’t even know how you walked. All you know is that you’re in cloud nine and you’re floating.

You were smiling like a fool all throughout the day. When lunchtime came, you and Atsumu were unusually quiet and would just steal glances at each other, then smile afterwards as the five of you (You, Suna, The Twins, and Ginjima) eat together.

“Did something happen between the two of you?” Ginjima asked, pertaining to you two.

“Nothing.”

“Not at all.”

The two of you said simultaneously. Realizing you said it at the same time, you and Atsumu grinned at each other again.

“Oh, shut up. Something happened. What is it?” Suna followed up.

“It’s nothing, really. I just got an interview from Osaka University.” And Atsumu kissed me in the forehead. You said, trying your best not to look too happy.

“Aye! Congrats!” Ginjima said as you brofist the three of them.

“How about you? Why are YOU so happy?” Samu asked his twin suspiciously.

“Geez! Is it a crime to be happy now?!” Atsumu’s dramatic ass counters.

“I decided I’m going to MSBY!”

“Damn, that means you’re still saying here?” Samu.

“Oh shut up, Samu! I know you can’t live without me!”

“Pretty sure YER the one who can’t live without me.”

*****

It was long after lunch and you were on your way to the Science lab, your last class of the day. When you reached the lab, you were surprised to see Osamu standing just beside the door, the top three buttons of his shirt unopened.

“Samu! What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting for you.”

“Waiting for me, why?”

“I wanted to borrow a pencil.”

“You do realize you could have just borrowed one of your classmates, right?”

“Well, you have the best pencil collection…”

“Tch. Here you go. Now go back to class before you get late.”

“Yes Ma’am. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to learn a lot.” Samu said as he opened the door for you while smirking.

Then suddenly your heart was beating crazy and your knees was weakening. You know Samu is not the smiley type, but in your two years of friendship, you have seen him smile and smirk from time to time, so it wasn’t an unusual sight to see.

So WHY, after many, many months, are you going crazy over Osamu’s smile like a fool? Is it because he shares the same face as atsumu? Or worse, did you just develop a crush on him?

Oh Gosh.

And for the first time since senior year started, you didn’t listen to what your teacher was explaining.

[mystique-moonflower]

Okay, enough. I have been holding it inside for so long, and I can’t anymore. I need to let you know, or my words won’t stop forming inside my head and it might explode. Yes, I am a little flaky. And I don’t want to lose my head. So here it goes...

...To you,

It is understandable, what you do. I understand, that you're hurting, maybe also bleeding. If not, mayhaps the wound is still fresh, the blood has not clotted yet, and out of an ocean of wounded people, you're just another human being, trying to protect yourself. Your shield, it's painful; but understandable. I would have tried to penetrate it, to probably persuade you into setting it aside, assure you into believing that no matter what, I won't be the one to hurt you, nor will I ever let you get hurt again, but there's no use, is there? You could have hit me with your cold, hard shield, destroy my whole being beyond repair. Yet you just stood there; contemplating on whether to let the shield go or not. And you chose to hold on tight to it. Just that, nothing else. If it happened that way, thank you.

You were so happy, weren’t you? You probably had wondered, how, out of millions of lost and depressed souls, you, especially you, turned out so lucky in love. You’d look them in the eyes and think so. You had it all planned out, didn’t you? You may have even thought and planned for a happily ever after…..

And it didn’t just happen that way. Something, somewhere went wrong. And they left. Or probably you shunned them out. Either way, you were hurt. What went wrong? Could you have changed their mind? Could you have done something to change their mind? Could you have changed your mind? It just never ends, does it?

And I understand. I understand and I know that none of this is your fault. Not regarding what happened. Not regarding what caused you to wound and bleed. Maybe, I shall never know that story and I stand in no position to enquire. But I hope you never stand in a place where you doubt yourself based on what somebody you loved once told you. I know that feeling and trust me, it isn’t good. That whatever happened can not be undone, and it is okay to hold on to something as long as it does not hurt you. I’ll pray that you think things over and let yourself out again. You have been under that shield for too long and if it is doing anything to you, it’s shielding you from light and warmth.

But again, I might be wrong; would not be the first time. Maybe whatever you’re doing to yourself, would benefit you in the end. I’d not deny, you getting hurt, hurts me as well. Yet again, I am in no position to make a difference, am I? Would you have let me heal you? Could I have healed you? I’ll tell you a secret: I have been wounded for too long, years, to be precise. But it took me years to realize that I am holding a knife to my raw wound, thinking the blood will take out the melancholy with it and I will be set free. But do you know what happened instead? I was about to bleed to death. I stopped. And now I am on my path to getting healed. I hope so, at least. You can have your guard on for as long as you feel so, but I hope you’re not putting a knife to your wound. Because, from my experience, I have gathered that it hurts a lot.

I hope you find happiness. And I truly mean that. I wouldn’t try and intrude though. I hope you find someone who’ll help you find happiness in yourself. That must be an amazing feeling, wouldn’t it? I wish I could share my path to healing myself with you. Or at least we could share stories and laugh and learn from them; together. But that’s not happening and I am okay with it. Well, not really, but I am trying.

But I can just be a deluded human being you know. I feel I see through you, I feel I see you hurting and curse myself for not being able to do something about it, but it might all be a delusion. I wouldn’t think it is, yet, if it is so, it’d be a lie if I say I am not relieved, and somehow happy. That’s some dilemma, right? I’d still hope that it’s just another of my episodes of outbursted overthinking and that you’re perfectly happy the way you are. That you’re not hurting.

It is getting kind of crazy by now. So I guess I’ll sign off here. I hope we both find happiness, if not in one another then in the ones who deserve. I would have hoped things would be rolling out otherwise, but guess not. And it’s okay. In the end, it’s okay.

- A confused being swirling in the oblivion of the mind endlessly praying for your well-being….

[yehet-me-up]

Content Tag Game

Tagged by EXO sister-wife Kat @yeoldontknow​ <3 1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

3. how long have you been writing? on this blog?

uhhh I definitely wrote half of several harry potter and lotr fanfics in HS but that was ‘the dark times’ many moons ago. so as an adult this is my only fandom! just stumbled into kpop and stumbled onto fanfics in the most backwards way possible (was sent a meme of a 1D ‘imagine’ and was like hey I wonder if they have these for kpop and then I found them and they were not a meme, but were fucking incredible AND NOW 4 YEARS LATER (started August-ish 2017???) here we are hahaha)

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

oh dear god i just remembered I have an AO3 account..... WHOOPS, shit 😅 might need to, y’know, update that at some point. jfc adhd object permanence is something else.

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

Personally it’s sci fi/fantasy, but here in the fanfic space I’d say..... uhh slice of life, romance, angst but make it a happy ending?? fanfic is a way for me to share all the sort romantic hopeful feelings I have about love and life and friendship and purpose 💕

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

Used to be a pantser when I started this (and when fics used to be like ?? 3k-5k) now that fics in general are longer for one-shots and series my good lord I need an outline. Especially for exo mall which is *insert meme of crazy guy with the bulletin board* a lot for my brain haha

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

I’d say mine are usually 5k or so?? some series were shorter per chapter, depending on subject matter. I tend to write like... interconnected long as frick oneshots, so i don’t count those as chapters ☠️

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

uhhhhh good question haha. my book was 95k and I think exo mall is like *dammit math* 140k or something that has significantly gotten out of hand. I have two more fics so it will probably be like 180ish when it’s done?? not including the drabbles to come haha 

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

I loved No Quarter and torturing Kat with her husband, also staying up all night to finish Chanyeol’s exo mall knowing kat had NO idea it was coming was a BLAST. Kyungsoo’s exo mall was one of the most ‘in the flow’ writing experiences i’ve ever had. I wrote this Baek oneshot at like 3am when i couldn’t sleep once and tbh it felt like I wrote it in a dream. ja;slkfjasd I love so many of these this is like a trip down memory lane, so I’m going to be a wh*re and say two more haha.  This is the most honest and close to ‘real life’ thing I think I’ve written on here (and also one of the only sex scenes I didn’t lose my goddamned mind trying to write a;sldkfja;sdf). And lastly Ablaze, which was the longest thing I’d written (I think) and let me know that hey? maybe I could write a book someday <3

11. favorite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)

This request for Exo Mall Baek was such a joy to write! And for some reason this Taeyong drabble makes me wish I had the time/energy to write it into a full story, it gripped me so much when I wrote it, like a movie had fully downloaded into my brain out of nowhere.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

For sure! I’d say found family is a big one. Trusting that you’ll find your place even if things don’t make sense or you feel unsure. Believing that love is worth the risk and fear of trusting someone ;laksjdfal;sd. That love can be big gestures and super intense, but that after that fades away it’s the small daily moments that matter most - the people who stay and listen when you’re sad, holding hands and forehead kisses, taking care of people when they’re sick or scared or just need company, showing up to try again or to communicate even when things are hard. 

Someone commented on a fic of mine ages ago that I helped them see that real love (of that small, daily, consistent kind) is possible and MAYHAPS I cried because underneath it all, that’s what I’d want people to take away - that love of all kinds is scary, but it’s always worth it in the end <3

13. current number of wips?

Surprisingly just ... 3? wow how time has changed hahaha. I have Jun + Baek for exo mall (plus some drabbles but that will be something people write in about, so I wouldn’t consider them wips) and then I maaaaay continute on here with the Jun + Min regency baes series. We shall see :)

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

1. I can’t NOT write Baekhyun as the biggest cheesy dork in the entire world 2. That I’ll always have endless fantasy world to live in. I have to try actively to not start new WIPs because it’s so damn easy to be inspired. If I’m ever bored I know that I can jump into some story and let myself be carried away for a while 3. that who and how i am in real life is not usually the same person that i am when it comes to the vibe of my writing, and that that’s totally okay <3

15. a quote you like from a published story.

“I wish it had been with someone like you, though,” you say, squeezing his hand.

“Someone like me?” he says, raising his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

You look down at the floor, trying to figure out how to put how he makes you feel into words. “Yeah, someone strong, and steady. And safe.”

He lets out a laugh. “Safe? That sounds awfully similar to boring.”

“No, no. You don’t understand,” you say emphatically, coming to stand fully in front of him, grabbing his other hand as well. “You never ask me to be anything but who I am. You’re patient, kind, caring. For the longest time I thought that falling in love would be stifling. That it would… I don’t know, take my independence. Take my spirit. Make me into someone I don’t recognize.”

You step closer, holding his face in your hands. “But I can’t think of anything I want more than to be with you. You make me the best version of who I am. I don’t know how it is for you, being with me. But when I’m with you, it just feels like… home,” you finish gently.

- from Kyungsoo’s exo mall because THIS is how I feel about falling in love now, and this story was me working out what I believed about the process (like a goddamned emo bish haha)

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

For a moment you allow yourself this weakness. It won't destroy you to admire the strong lines of his body, the intensity and focus in the set of his brows, the deep, warm color brown of his eyes as they - oh lord, he's looking directly at you. As he notices you watching him his lips press into a small smile, inclining his head towards you.

'Oh no,' you say, mortified. In a breath you've blinked and drawn your arm through Maggie's, weaving your way through the crowd and dragging her with you.

'What's wrong?' she hisses in your ear, slightly off-kilter from the drink and revelry. 'You're going to tear my arm off.’.

'Sorry, he -' With a hand you push through the front doors, gulping in the cool night air and breathing deeply to steady the erratic pace of your heartbeat. 'Maggie, what's happening to me? He looked at me and I felt so... naked. I can't explain it.'

She realizes you aren't in actual distress and laughs. 'Good. About time you fell in love. I'm delighted.'

- From perhaps a future chapter of Jun and Min regency baes series....

17. space for you to say something to your readers.

Thank you so much. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. This fandom brought writing back into my life after such a long time away and I had no idea I would love it so much. The friends it’s brought me and the kind words that made me cry or cheered me up on a shitty day or made me laugh out loud and the watching other writers grow on their journeys. Getting to hear how something I made could help you feel less alone or less sad on a shitty day is all I’ve ever wanted from sharing all this. Thank you for being here and thank you for sharing parts of yourself with me <3

Tagging anyone who sees this who would like to do it, even if you don’t consider yourself a “real writer” yet (yes you are, stop doubting yourself!!!!) 😘

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THOR

it was a dark and stormy night when padme, an old man, and a beautiful nerd named darcy a find bright light in the sky with thunder and s giant tornado in it. AND CHRIS HEMSWORTH HOLY SHIT

STORYTELLING WITH ODIN ABOUT A FIGHT WITH ICE CREAM TROLLS. frosty the snow man is angry about it

GLOWY CUBE

agard. sounds like ass guard. baby thor and loki are adorable. story telling ended up being fairytail for children. WINGED HELMET

LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI

ah yes. the hammer named MILJinoNOR made in the heart of a star. ohshit walls got frosty. AMBUSH

“i swear, i swear, i sWEAR!” SHUSH IT AND GET TO FIGHTING. YALL GOT FROSTY BOYS INVADING ASS GUARD- oh fuck eye beam giant is OP.

thor is bloodthirsty, thats how you get the plot of the movie when you get turned mortal :/

loki is lovely i love him. he will never ever ever do anything wrong- oh hes starting drama between thor and frosty boys

WHOMST THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE??

“and who proved wrong that a young maiden could be one of the fiercesr warriors.” “i did” “true, but i supported you, sif.” JSHSKHSKSJSKSJSJ

HORSES ON THE GLITTER GLASS BRIDGE. this is all beautiful wtf i love asgard. HEIMDALL- thor stfu dont shut loki down ya fucker. yall are bullying loki and then get shocked he turns evil?

MAGIC SWORD IS THE KEY TO ALL THE REALMS. HAHA ROUND THINGY GO SPINNY SPINNY. heimdall tells em the bridge to frosty realm might fuck em over and leave em to die.

“we shouldnt be here.” MAYBE BRING THAT UP AT THE PLANNING BIT, NOT THE ‘WE’RE HERE LETS GO EXPLORE’ BIT. DEEP VOICE IS SMEXY AS FUCK

“You’re nothing but a boy. who came to prove hinself a man.”

“know your place. brother.” STOP BEING MEAN TO LOKI, THOR :(

HAMMER GO B O N K ON FROSTY BOYS SKSNSKSKSK

LOKIS MAGIC IS AMAZING YOU’RE DOING GREAT BBY- laughing during a sword fight because fuck every other emotion righ- OHSHIT NVM HE GOT IMPALED ON A SPIKE OF ICE

GIANT SNOW BEAST GO BRRRR. THUNDER ON THESE FROST COVERED ASSES- whY is he still laughing he got a spike through his chest what the hell dude you good?

HOLYSHIT THOR JUST CHUCKED MILNNOR THROUGH THE BEASTS FUCKING HEAD LIKE A KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER

ODIN TO SAVE THE DAY AND GET HIS CHILDS ASS OUT OF TROUBLE. thor started a fucking war because of this fightboner jesus christ this child. SHOUTING MATCHES

daddys angry with his child- thor is unworthy this, unworthy that. AND BANISHED TO EARTH LIKE A FUCKING LOSER SKSHSKSJSJ

and back to padme’s modern time wE GO

HA HE GOT MERKED BY A TAZER

DARCY YOU ADORABLE CHILD

“How dArE YOu aTtAcK tHE SoN oF oDIN😡😡😡” hes like an angry puppy

body in a photo?? pog info??? WHY HAS HE BEEN HIT BY A CAR TWICE ALREADY

STAN LEE

COULSON

THOR IS FUCKING RIPPED. meanwhile is ass guard. loki snitched for a good reason. but nOoOoO thors, friends, blame loki.WHY ARE THEY BLAMING LOKI FOR BRING IN THE FROSTY BOYS- oh shit he can controll the snow cube. backstory for loki? mayhaps?- HOLYSHIT HES A SMURF

“the casket wasnt the only thing you took from jotunheim that day, was it?” HES ONTO YOU ODIN. odin literally kidnapped- oh no nvm loki as a baby was left for dead. I WANNA HUG LOKI SO BAD HES IN EMOTINAL DISSTRESS :(

“because i-i-i’m the monster, parents tell their children about at night?” LOKI BABY EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY

holyshit loki’s breakdown killed odin wtf. my man collasped onto the staircase

“this drink. i like it.” “i know its gre-“ “ANOTHER! *SHATTERING GLASS*”

“myeu muh? whats a myeu muh?” DARCY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SKSHSKHSKS

man coulson thats a dick move to snatch up all of padmes shit- AND DARCYS IPOD???

loki do be looking snazzy on the throne👀 good for him. look at these fucker friends of thor tryna make him inbanish thor :/

BOOKS- on norse myth.? yeah norse myth

padme is sus of thor, and almost got em into a car crash. “god i hope you’re not crazy.” oh wait till you aee what happens

ODINS TAKING A NAP FOR THOUSNDS OF YEARS OR SUMSHIT

frigga is tryna convice loki they meant well. kinda hard too ngl. damn shield has beefed up security around this fucking hammer

oh shit electrical thunder is fucking with the shield tech once thor showed up. RAIN AND MAGIC HUMMING- thor is kicking shield’s ass- COULSON- who the fuck chooses a bow and arrow to shoot a target when they had sniper rifle- barton- HAWKEYE NVM BADASS ARROW GUY IS AMAZING

oh shit thor found miljjnor. mudfight but make it less smexy. epic momentt pogg.. its totally gonna fail him so fucking bad its gonna be funny

told you so.

now hes yelling at the sky like an insane person

AND got arrested :I

poor heimdall having to watch this all like a sad sitcom. OLDMAN STFU

“look its myeu-muh!” darcy needs to be protected at ALL COST. ohmygod they think thor is a solider from enemy lines aIshsksjskks

LOKIII- oh shit hes telling thor everything went wrong bc him and that a truce was- NVM LOKI IS TRYING THE HAMMER. YOU GOT IT LOKI

old man go save thors stupid ass. redeem yourself. bar talk is somehow wholesome. oh shit thors gotta dip outta town bc oldman said so. he didint listen to odin and ended up starting a war- OH CRAP LOKI DID LET THE FROSTY BOYS INTO ASGARD.

heimdall knows loki is causing trouble. good for loki. HA RHE OLDMAN GOT FUCKING WASTED BY THE BOOZE LIKE A COWARD.

padme is so awkward around thor. shes in looovvveee. awh thor snatched up her genius book from shield. YIGHDRISLE is such an amazing name for a tree filled with planets and worlds

DUDE DONT SHAME THE MAN FOR STRESS EATING

LOKI KNOWS HEIMDALL SNITCHED AND LET FUCKER FRIENDS THROUGH. HOLYSHIT THEY FOUND THOR SLJSOSJSKSKS

thor knows loki lied- heimdall knows loki let in the frosty boys, and is currently frozen soild by that blue cube thingy. AND NOW THE OP METAL LAZERBEAM BASTARD IS ON EARTH

OH GOD A SPEAR THROUGH THE THROAT MUST HURT LIKE A MF- SIF DONT DIE

LAZERBEAM STOP BLOWING UP BUILDINGS

dude things were getting blown up left and right but suddenly thor’s plot armor engaged and a car just flips over him and instead of going boom. standoff between lazerface and thor- whomst shall win? find out next week on: HOLYSHIT THE NORSE GODS EXIST

loki just watched thor try to give up his life and now lazerface is leav- FUCK NVM IT BITCH SLAPPED THOR SKSHSJSJSJSKKSKSJ. oH now it leaves

hammer go brrr soon? HAMMER GO BRRRRRR

PADME SAVE YOURSELF THOR JUST GOT POWERED THE FUCK UP

“oh my god” YOU JUST SAW A METAL MECH SHOOT A LAZER OUT ITS FACE AND FOUR PEOPLE IN VIKING ARMOR FIGHT. ARE YOU STILL SHOCKED???

LAZERFACE GO BOOM. THORS BACK BABYY

oh shit the frosty boys are on asgard- HEIMDALL NEEDS TO UNFREEZE AND WORK ITS MAGIC LIKE NOW

oh god the animation for some dead frosty boys got so noticable that was horrible.

TIME TO GO KICK LOKI’S ASS SKSKSJS- OHFUCK FRIGGA NOO. OHSHIT LOKI JUST MURDERED LAUGHY THE FROST KING.

lokis “ohshit thors back” face is amazing

loki hun what the fuck are you doing- stop tryna destory shit like a hero.

“I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL!” my heart is torn :((

brothers fighting while a energy tree builds around him? sure why not. ohfuck loki got his ass handed to him- THOR WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HAMMER ON HIM LIKE THAT SKSHSKSJSJSK

THOR WOKE ODIN UP BY VREAKING THE FUCKING RAINBOW BRIDGE

ODINS AWAKE AND SAVE EM AGAIN

IM CRYING LOKI JUST WANTED TO MAKE ODIN PROUD AND HE SHUT EM DOWN LIKE THAT. ODIN YOU FUCKING SUCK

awh this is making me sad i dont like this sad ending this sucks so much. loki deserved better then to die knowing odin hated him :(

heimdall is out of a job now that the bifrost is broken haha loser.

NEXT MOVIE: THE AVENGERS

ignore the misspells and the bad grammar its almost two AM by the time i finished watching and writing this up

[sunniemightdraw]

Watch me slowly go insane(ranting)

EVERYTIME i try and rewatch Series Of Unfortunate Events, I get so mad. I GET SO MAD I ALMOST RIGHT A FANFIC WHERE THEY GET PLACED WITH JUSTICE STROUSE OR ANY OTHER OF THE PEOPLE THEY GET PROPERLY PLACED WITH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

like.. im...

DUDE

i wish people werent FRICKING STUPID!!!!! and just trust the guy.

like why didnt anyone go "Well this doesn't seem like a place a child should be living" *sends them to an adoption center* *justice strouse finds out from that news paper and goes to visit them* *she gets convinced, and fosters them* *meanwhile people find out they were never supposed to be placed with count bridge grass.* And they live happily ever.

also count olf gets put in jail for fraud and his crew goes and lives their lifes the way they want.

[theskyehealers]

Lost in her drawings, she had propped her bare feet up on the desk and tucked the sheets of parchment on her lap, smudging and drawing lines, attempting to make something of those fine lines.  She had been able to coerce a cup of mead from the inn keeper, and smirked as it sat on her desk. Until she had brought it to her lips and grimaced at the taste. “How do people like this?” she whispered and set the goblet aside and returned to her drawings when she heard a tapping at her window. Green-blue eyes were cast towards the window to find a foot tapping it, and with a furrow of her brow, and smudging charcoal across her cheek, she opened it to find a distraught Alexandria. "What in the...." and pried the window open with a grunt. "I...think the door would have been easier..." she called and stepped back to let her jump in. 

Mead was offered and refused while Abelie learned about what had happened.

"That stuff is repulsive." Was how Alex started the conversation. "And we're not supposed to know one another, remember? So the less we're seen together until you've gotten the message to Henry, the better."

Abelie nodded, remembering just how important it was that she not only be seen with her, but that her one weapon was that she was Helena Skye’s last adopted daughter. "I found Caspian, but when I tried to give him warning about what was happening all he did was call the effing snake into the conversation. He betrayed my bloody trust right in front of me instead of taking a single damned moment to let me explain the whole story. But no, he wanted to go drink with his effing buddies instead." She listened to her curse up a storm, and simply bit down on her lower lip and waited until Alexandria was ready to speak again. "The only positive is that Charles will be so focused on me that he won't suspect anyone else to be involved...which is why I want you to go to Thorn tomorrow. Kaelyn let me know the clothes are ready, so all you need to do is place this note inside one of the inner pockets and then let Henry know it's there without alerting Charles. You can still back out...Thorn is full of criminals and crazies. It's going to be dangerous."

Abelie understood the only way she could get about was that she was an unknown, and shook her head, "The snake....but you knew Charles was a scaly cretin.  Do you think he is the greatest influence to your brother?  Because why would your brother not listen to you.  You two trust each other, right? Right?” While she thought for a moment, she shook her head again, hugging her legs to her chest, “No, I will do it.  I want to.  Shall I put the note in Henry's clothing, and make sure Henry knows but not Charles." and smirked, "No one knows me here, and I look nothing like my mother, so it should be easy enough." she began and shook her head, "If this does not happen, how else will you get to Henry, he needs to listen to rhyme and reason."

"There's no guarantee of him listening one way or another, but at least I'll have tried. Then I can walk away without regrets." As for her earlier questions regarding Caspian... "I thought I could trust him, but this isn't the first time he's done this to me. I can't trust him, not anymore. This time he's put my life in danger and he doesn't seem to care a bit." "Just be honest and true, speak like he knows you speak, so he can 'hear' your words. Mayhaps Henry might need to hear true words from someone who is not biased to the crown.”  Yet Abelie needed to ask of her godmother, "How are you?" she couldn't understand the logistics of court politics, but what she could understand was, that it was not easy, and everyone was vying for their own selves.

"Worried. Angry. Scared. Hurting. Pissed off. Trying to keep it together when I just want to fall apart?" She rattled off the list with a wave of her hand, as if it made no difference. "Seeing you there...he'll remember you. You did punch him in the face and all. If you happen to mention that you followed your Godmother here, who is visiting a friend, he might put two and two together. Once he sees the jacket that matches the vest I gave him for Yule, he should know who it's all from. And if his father isn't there...you're welcome to say whatever the hell you want. If he is, just get in and get out. I don't want him to hurt you because of me."

"If he continues to be an arse, then I shall treat him to another good one." and raised her hand to reiterate just how ready she was to do such, if need be. “Mind his father, but free to speak if I find him alone." and nodded to herself. "Right, slippery fellow." But the topic shifted back from Charles to Caspian, to Ryan, who she knew so little about.

"My father was a great man, but he didn't always make time for his children and his decisions could be questionable sometimes. Seems my brother is following right in his footsteps, though his greatness has yet to be seen." She murmured with a deep sigh. "I just wish my brother could see Charles for who he really is. But I suppose that won't happen unless Charles murders me." Which was still a huge possibility at this very moment. "I'll leave the note you're to put in Henry's suit coat downstairs under the silver mug on the mantle by the fire. I'll not be here when you leave, so I can ensure Charles's eyes are far from you." With that she stood. She had a note to write. "You should write that letter to Aviva so I can get it to a runner tomorrow. And once your mission is over we can sit down and have that talk about what you were thinking and what's been going on with you since I left. Obviously things haven't gotten any better." Abelie didn’t want to write that letter, yet she understood her older sister would be frantic, not knowing where she was, and nodded slowly, “All right.” and was left for a moment with her thoughts.  She was determined to help her godmother, but did not know yet if she was ready to reveal exactly why she had taken off of Hillside to the Stony Hills & Oxbow Lakes, to Barley, and now Snow Mystic.  Pressing her lips together, she looked out the closed window and chewed on her lips.  She would have to worry about it later, something else was at hand.

[thestarkerisobvious]

The Ghost Of Peter Parker

inspired by the amazing art work by @starker-sorbet​        

A snugglefic for @mrstarksbabyy​

With great thanks for the betaread by @mrstarksbabyy

It was a strange idea, that in March, Peter was still embarrassed by getting an erection around Tony.

Now, on the first day of April, Peter longed to worry about something so simple.

He clung to Tony’s neck, weeping in relief that he didn’t have to decide whether or not to kill Mr. Lovelace.  That decision had already been made by a scolding he had given Tony when he was 15.  He didn’t even know Tony had been listening. 

Tony held him close, not even feeding, rocking him and smoothing back his hair.  He sang very softly, something that might have been Portuguese.  But when he

 tried to kiss Peter’s tears away, Peter objected.

“Don’t take my sadness, I don’t want to forget this.  I need to remember what we’ve… what I’ve done.”

“There are many ripe berries on this bush, sweet Master.  Let me pic a few,” Tony murmured. 

For a while Peter thought he might never want to move.  He was being cradled in Tony’s arms like a baby, being held close, his face kissed.  But as time passed he began to feel silly, so he pushed his way out of Tony’s arms and wiped his face dry with the back of his hands.  “Okay, so killing him is out.  What are we going to do?” Peter asked calmly.

Letting Tony take the edge off his guilt and panic helped quite a bit, Peter realized, as he and Tony strategized, Peter leaning against Tony’s chest, Tony feeding from the vein in his wrist.

“There are at least 4 more cats in the barn, if you can catch them.  I think they know they’re food now…

“They cannot escape me,” Tony said, looking up from Peter’s wrist with an eerie smile.

“…and at least three owls in the barn, maybe four.  But they’re very small.  If I feed you now, and you get to them the moment it gets dark, is that enough for this?”

Tony shook his head and looked up, kissing Peter’s hand.  “I cannot tell,” he said, keeping his lips next to Peter’s fingers.  “First, give me permission to sleep in the ground if I must, and I will return to this room when I am able, but I may needs rest in the darkness for many nights.  Mayhap I may speak to you in dreams.  But if you feed me every night, the way you fed me at Mabon, it will suffice.”

Peter sighed.  “I’m going to have to join 4H and start raising goats, aren’t I?” he mused as Tony went back to sucking on his wrist.  “Wait that probably won’t work – I’d flunk 4H if all my goats mysteriously died.  Rabbits.  I’ll have to convince May and Ben we can really raise rabbits.  Then just act surprised when they turn up missing…”

Tony’s smile was unreadable.  His eyes wandered down Peter’s chest.  He lifted his mouth and he looked as if he were about to say something, but changed his mind, and returned to feeding.

“Look Mr. Lovelace killed his wife with his 44, that’s what Miss Drury said Missy said.  He has a 44, his gun from the army, a long hunting rifle he was taking walks with.  And we already know he can kill a dog from 40 feet away with the rifle  That’s how John Wickam’s dog died.  Mr. Lovelace denied it, but the Wickam’s saw it happen.  That man is crazy, but he’s a damn good shot.

“Miss Drury called Aunt May to let me know Missy was okay.  She was surprised that I didn’t know about it… Miss Drury is, I mean.  Missy said she saw me last night.  She said I didn’t even talk to her, but pointed her to the road she was to meet Miss Drury on.  When she said she was scared to walk down it I held her hand until we saw Miss Drury’s Rabbit’s headlights.  She said I must have been sleepwalking because I never spoke.  Miss Drury said it must have been her guardian angel.  All I know is Aunt May spent the next 20 minutes explaining how no one in our family sleepwalks…”

Tony licked a long, slow stripe up Peter’s wrist, then kissed it tenderly, meaning he was finished feeding.  Then he turned and looked into Peter’s eyes, bringing their foreheads together.

“You told me to take her fear.  You told me to consume it completely.” 

“It was you?”

“She fled to Chimney Hill.  She has no fear of that place.  She has forgotten the story of Tom Dylan, but she remembers that Laura Foster once lived on Chimney Hill.  Then, from the hill to the dead oak, and from the oak to the lake, there was full moonlight.  She no longer fears darkness.  But past the lake, under the trees, she was blind.  She was afraid.  I took it all.  But when she came in sight of the house, she feared to pass.  She still fears the house.  I met her at the path to point her the way.  I knew what you wished.  I showed her nothing frightening.  I showed her you.   

“But she would not take the road east.  She said she was too afraid.  She asked if I was the ghost of you.  But when I smiled at her, and held her hand.  My hand was warm.  She came with me down the road.  Pardon, Master, I know you do not wish her to wish to hold your hand…”

Peter took Tony’s face in both hands and kissed him.  A real kiss, without feeding.  Tony did nothing, at first.  Only opened his mouth a little bit, tilting his head a little bit until Peter let him go.

“Thank you,” was all Peter said.  It was all he could think to say.

“I have served you well,” Tony whispered, and now his long arms were wrapping around Peter and Peter relaxed against his shoulder as Tony kissed his face.  This was normal Tony-behavior, and Peter gave himself a moment to enjoy it.

“I will serve you most masterfully tonight, and you shall make me your beloved.  You shall see all my skill.  If an enemy of the family meets me in battle, the seals of Evorá, what is left of them, will feed me.  I shall make him lay down where he stands, even in the middle of the road, he shall not rise until morning…”

“Wait, that doesn’t sound good.  Isn’t that what you did to the pigs?  When you made them lay down and die?”

“They laid down and died because I ate them.”

Peter shivered a little at Tony’s wicked smile.  He knew he had to be very specific, now.  He knew Tony was proud of his work.

“Well, don’t make him lay down in the middle of the road, he might get run over.  What else can you do?

Tony ran a strong hand over Peter’s thigh, and then over his calf.  Peter might have relaxed and enjoyed the touch under different circumstances.

“These… these are still called muscles?  And what is this now called,” he said, his fingers tracing over Peter’s knee.  It was a lovely feeling, and Peter made a mental note to get Tony to touch him there again when it was all over.

“The cartlidge?”

“The sinew, that which is not meat,” he indicated “meat” by firmly stroking Peter’s calf muscles again.  “The sinew that connects the muscles to each other…”

“The ligaments?” 

“There is light in these,” Tony explained, stroking Peter’s calf muscle with a firm but gentle hand.  “When that light is gone, a man is not inclined to walk very far.  And when the light is gone from this,” he stroked his hand under Peter’s knee, indicating the ligament.  “A man is not inclined to move it at all.  Although Mr. Lovelace is a man accustomed to a great deal of pain.  That alone might not dissuade him.”

“I can take the light from the bone, but if I do, a man will surely die.”

“Don’t do that.  And don’t make him lay down somewhere dangerous, like in the road or something.  Wait, if you did that to his arms, could he use his arms?  It’s important he not be able to shoot.  Can you make his arms not move?  If he couldn’t shoot, that would be something.  He’s still huge though…”

Tony moved his hands and, slipping them into the small place between their bodies, placed both on Peter’s chest. 

“There are two of these,” Tony said, caressing Peter’s chest in a way that was very distracting, even under the circumstances.  “When the light is gone from one,” he whispered, moving one hand away and leaving the other in place,” a man is not inclined to walk very far.”

“What… you mean the lungs?”

“And there are two of these,” Tony said, sounding almost hungry.  He moved his hands and placed them firmly on the Peter’s lower back, indicating, Peter assumed, his kidneys.

“When the light is gone from one, a man is not inclined to do anything.”

“But… you mean… for a while, right?  The light comes back, doesn’t it?”

Tony looked disappointed.  “That is tricky work, but it can be done.”

“Tony, can you make Aunt May be not-so scared?”

Tony smiled sadly.  He looked down at Peter’s chest again, even reached out to stroke Peter’s chest with his knuckles, directly under his left nipple, but he never said why.

“If I could be two places at one time, yes,” he said with a wry smile.  “But I am no longer that strong.”

Peter and May stayed up all night playing yahtzee and dominoes, finally sitting down to watch TV.  For a while Uncle Ben sat in the car with his rifle, while Peter walked back and forth each hour to wake him up.  Finally it was agreed that the whole family would be safer in the house.  A tearful Aunt May complained that they left New York City because of the violence.  She apologized to Peter, who only smiled, threw up his hands and attributed it to “fate.”   

May and Ben discussed how miserable Peter had been when they first moved to Devil’s Holler, how he had cried almost every day for weeks.  Peter tried to keep up his end of the conversation, but, in truth, he was wondering if Missy’s life would have been better, or worse, without him.  At least the girl got to walk down a gravel road in the moonlight, holding Peter Parker’s hand.  He wondered why Tony could make the girl forget about Tom Dylan, but not about Laura Foster.

In the early morning hours both May and Ben fell asleep on the couch, allowing Peter to watch more interesting shows on their late-night channels, his eyes wide.  He was wondering how he could wake up in the middle of the night to enjoy these shows in private when he heard something at the door.  

He opened the door without hesitation to let Tony in.  “Good job,” he whispered.  The vaguely kitten-shaped bundle of fur made a small, vaguely catlike noise before dissolving into smoke and disappearing into the floor.  Then he took his place back on the couch in front of the television.  He knew there was no point in telling May and Ben to go to bed, even though he knew the danger was over.  So he spent the rest of the night combing through old TV guides, looking for more information about the shows he was probably to chicken to watch.

It was amazing, what they could get away with on HBO.

---------------------

Master Post (not THAT Master Post, the big list)

as always please direct comments, questions and constructive crit to @witchwayisright.  

[magnoliasinbloom]

The Midwife - II

AO3 :: Previously

VI

We consummated our legal marriage that night, and any other night he was able to sneak away from Rupert and Angus. The contract was laid next to Mother Hildegarde’s letter, inside Davie Beaton’s black-bound casebook. After a few weeks, I had mostly learned my way around Leoch. I spent my time in the surgery, the kitchens, and the garden, fully accepted as a participant in castle life. Spring was now upon us, despite the chilly June mornings.

The Gathering had arrived; tacksmen and tenants from all over who owed fealty to the MacKenzies were arriving in droves. Some stayed in the castle itself, most camped outside on the grounds. I was kept extremely busy tending to wounds and varied illnesses. The healer in me reveled at fulfilling my calling, my life’s work.

In the meantime, I met with Jamie whenever I could, stealing moments in the stables, in the forest, and once in a dark stairwell. We were careful to be polite to each other in public, no more. I eyed the girl Laoghaire with suspicion every time I interacted with her, mostly in Mrs. Fitz’s kitchen. She kept on about her impending marriage to Jamie, and I worried about what would happen when we would be forcefully called out about the truth.

The night of the Gathering, I was informed, I would be a spectator up in the gallery with most of the castle’s unmarried women. The great hall was reserved for the tenants and their wives, who would be pledging an oath to Dougal as chieftain of clan MacKenzie. Jamie had confessed to me that he did not mean to swear fealty to Dougal—to do so would be to set himself up as the likely future leader of the clan after Dougal died. The MacKenzie laird was recently widowed, I’d heard, and had no male issue of his own, only three daughters who had remained behind at his estate. Jamie was the closest male kin of age, but many of the tenants present at the Gathering would not consider him suitable for succession. But if he refused to swear the oath… he could face death.

“’Twould look like an accident, Sassenach,” he said quietly, tracing patterns on my back as we lay on the cot in the surgery. “I could be speared at the tynchal, suffer a gruesome head injury playing shinty, or have my throat cut in some dark corner.”

I turned towards him at this, alarmed. “Jamie, you can’t possibly—”  

“We have to face it, mo nighean donn. While I live at Leoch and am of sound body and mind, I must swear. ‘Tis a dangerous game we’re playing now. I have Murtagh to watch my back. I shall think of something beforehand, dinna fash.”

I stood amongst the women in the gallery, in the nicest gown I owned, which had come with me from Paris, and a new pair of shoes, a fichu, and hair ribbon, courtesy of Mrs. Fitz. I scanned the crowd eagerly for a glimpse of Jamie. He was usually easy to spot—a full head taller than most men and the fiery thatch of his hair. But there was no sight of him yet. I did see Geillis Duncan, standing by her husband; he was a rotund, serious man, but seemed amiable enough.

With the beating of drums and the fanfare of bagpipes, Dougal walked ceremoniously through the middle of the hall, all the way to the raised dais. He cried out, “Tulach Ard!” which the men repeated in a roar, raising their cups to Dougal. I knew he had begun with the battle cry of the MacKenzie clan, but he addressed the room in the Gaidhligh; I did not understand most of it, and Mrs. Fitz must have seen my face so she stood next to me and translated in a whisper.

“He is welcoming the men to Leoch, hoping that they had safe journeys. While he hopes the men never have to draw iron, if they do he couldn’t hope for better men to defend the honor of the clan,” Mrs. Fitz said. I nodded along, and Dougal kept speaking. “Only the crazy would challenge the MacKenzie, and he is proud to be their laird. Luceo non uro! That means—”

“I shine, not burn,” I finished for her, smiling. “That I understood.”

“’Tis the motto of clan MacKenzie,” she said, loudly over the din of the cheering men. I saw the door to the great hall open as she spoke, and finally Jamie made an entrance. He was faithfully shadowed by Murtagh, who glanced furtively around him and trailed Jamie into a corner of the room. He drew more than a few glances, and I felt my heart race with nerves.

The rest of the men formed a loose line, taking turns to pledge loyalty to Dougal. The clansmen quieted down, and the first stepped forward. He bent on one knee, drawing his dagger upside down and holding it up, like a cross. His oath, which was given in English, read: “I swear, by the cross of our lord Jesus Christ, and by the holy iron that I hold, to give ye my fealty, to pledge ye my loyalty to the name of clan MacKenzie. And if ever I shall raise my hand against ye in rebellion, I ask that this holy iron shall pierce my heart.” He kissed the blade, stood, and sheathed it once more. Dougal held out his hands and the clansman kissed them as well. Dougal nodded in approval and offered the quaich for a drink to seal the man’s oath.

The next man came forward, and repeated the oath word for word. “Are all oaths the same?” I asked Mrs. Fitz.

“Aye, dear, and so’s the drinking. ‘Tis a good thing the laird can hold his drink, or he would be fair sloshed by the tenth man.” Dougal drank deeply of the ceremonial cup for every oath pledged him, and showed no sign of faltering. I grew restless, wondering what Jamie had planned to keep himself safe. The seemingly endless line of men progressed as the sun marked its path across the flagstones. After awhile, Mrs. Fitz went back to the kitchens to supervise the final touches on the feast. I offered my help, but was gently rebuffed, the lady insisting I remain behind and enjoy myself.

“Who kens it, lass. Mayhap ye find yerself a husband at the Gathering; it has happened many a time before!” She winked and was gone in a swish of skirts.

Find myself a husband, indeed. Where was he now? I leaned on the parapet of the gallery, and met his gaze. He stood towards the end of the queue; he was dressed in his kilt, a basket hilt sword at his side. Murtagh stood beside him still, good man. I watched in trepidation as he slowly made his way to the front of the hall, closer and closer to Dougal. As he approached, the air became tense, and I found it hard to breathe. The sudden silence in the hall was deafening.

Jamie knelt for a moment at Dougal’s feet. After a few beats, he stood and his hand went to the dagger at his side, but Jamie did not draw it yet. “Dougal MacKenzie,” he began. “I come to ye as kinsman, and as ally. I give ye no vow, for my oath is pledged to the name that I bear.”

At this, an alarming number of men reached for their own weapons, and I heard the song of steel against scabbard. My breath caught in my throat; the threat was now imminent.

Jamie took one step closer to Dougal, and continued. “I give ye my obedience as kinsman, and as laird. And I hold myself bound to yer word, so long as my feet rest on the lands of clan MacKenzie.” He stood his ground before Dougal, his gaze on the laird’s grey eyes unwavering. The silence was prolonged; everyone seemed to be holding their breath like I was. I saw Jamie’s hand grip the hilt of the dagger, ready to go down fighting.

Then, Dougal smiled, and reached for the quaich beside him. A collective gasp of relief went up from the crowd, and Jamie’s face broke into a grin. The clansmen erupted in cheers and whoops and even whistles. The bagpipes struck up again as the men drank. Jamie’s plan had worked. He had offered obedience, not fealty, but Dougal seemed willing to accept that. For now.

* * *

“Come here, Sassenach.”

Jamie lifted me by the waist onto the surgery trestle table. He rucked up my skirts, finding purchase on my thighs. My own fingers scrabbled to remove his sporran, which fell to the floor with a thump. We didn’t bother undressing further; he drew me to the edge of the table, pushed his kilt aside and buried himself in me. I gasped at the sudden intrusion, but it quickly became familiar once more. Jamie thrust hard, kissing my neck. I tipped my head back, overwhelmed by feeling.

We had managed to steal away from the festivities, taking advantage of the fact that the men were getting sopping drunk, including his usual guards. Dougal had waylaid Murtagh, and we had agreed to meet in the surgery quick as we could.

I gripped Jamie, biting my lip to keep from screaming. He panted in my ear, close to completion. My own cries were muffled against his shoulder, when a loud bang startled us and made Jamie tighten his hold on me even as he whipped his head around. I looked over his shoulder—Angus was at the door.

He stared at us in disbelief while heat rushed to my face. Jamie quickly pulled my skirts and his kilt down; he turned to face his cousin, shielding me behind him while I got to my feet.

“Angus, please,” he began, pleading.

“Is this how you honor yer oath? By going against Dougal’s wishes?” Angus sneered. “Ye can have all the fun ye like with this one after ye wed. But wed ye must.”

Jamie cursed. “It is not merely fun, ye dinna understand—”

“Aye, I understand fine. But Dougal will not.” With that, Angus thundered up the stairs back to the great hall, back to the laird. Jamie turned to me, his expression panicked.

“I’m sorry, Sassenach. I must go after him.” He clutched the dagger at his belt, and made his way to the surgery door. “Stay here. If Murtagh comes, do as he says. Promise me, Claire.” His eyes were desperate.

“I promise,” I said, sick with fear for him. For us. Jamie followed in Angus’s steps, the tread of his boots soon lost in the winding stone staircase that led to my surgery.

I wrung my hands, wondering what would be worse—if Murtagh came for me or not. I paced for a few minutes, before coming upon a solution. I took a deep breath to steady myself, and strode purposefully to the set of shelves by the wall. I found Davie Beaton’s The Physician's Guide and Handbook, black-bound and gilt-stamped. I rifled through the pages and pulled out Mother Hildegarde’s letter and our marriage contract. I reached for the glass bottle where my ring was hidden, uncorked it, and shook its contents into the palm of my hand.

Clutching both documents against my chest, I raced up the stairs behind Jamie, heading for Dougal’s study.

- - 

A/N: Blessed be the Outlander Wiki and lots of dialogue from s01!

[minuky]

Minecraft Diaries Episode 6 - My Thoughts and a General Summary

 Oh, hot the time flies.... sigh. Already on Episode 6. Before you know it, we’ll be halfway through the season, and I’ll be crying because Leona is reintroduced and finally... other people will care. But I’m getting off topic. Let’s jump right into it, shall we?

So, our episode begins with a nice shot around everyone’s favorite Worst Brother of the Year, Zane! 

God, look at him. He’s such an asshole. I love him.

Now I know I can’t be alone in the group of old fans who saw this next scene and thought -

“Who the fuck are you?” 

His name is revealed to be Ivan, and I had no idea who this dude was. According to my Good Friends, all of whom are much better at remembering Everything Aphmau, Ivan is Lucinda’s ex. He was introduced sometime in Season 2, and then killed off subsequently after. If you don’t know who Lucinda is yet, because you’re new to Minecraft Diaries, just hold on a bit longer. And if you do know who she is because of MyStreet... well I prefer everything MCD to their MyStreet counterparts, so... good for you?

Back to the summary, Ivan has returned from scouting to inform Zane that they haven’t found anything relating to whatever he’s searching for, but that some scholars are supposedly hiding something. Zane decides that mayhaps a visit from the High Priest Himself is in Order. Which means shit it about to go down. If OG MCD taught me anything, its that when Zane LEAVES Oh’Kahsis, people die. Just look at Falcon Claw.

Back in ye old Phoenix Drop, a freshly bathed Aphmau is being escorted out of Donna’s house, and Donna tells Aphmau not to fret over what happened to Visher. She then admits that events like this are precisely why she hasn’t let anyone get close to her heart. Aphmau, having literally only come to consciousness only some days/weeks(?) prior, is confused to what Donna could mean. Before Donna can properly explain, aside from some cryptic message about protecting her heart, Dale (surprisingly more or less sober) runs up, informing the two that Brendon has been killed.

Spoiler, he’s not dead, just very badly wounded. Garroth and Zenix are freaking out over what to do, and Donna, Dale and Aphmau showing up cause even more chaos. Zenix runs downstairs to heat his sword so he can cauterize the wound, and Aphmau notices a bruise on Brendon’s foreheard. She does some of her good old Glowly Glow Magics and proceeds to pass out.

This marks another time upon which Zenix was not present to see Aphmau perform her magics. The exact reason for this, I couldn’t say. Maybe if he see’s he’ll recognize her? Or maybe it’ll be more of a running gag? Again, I can’t say for sure.

Back downstairs, Kiki has arrived! The group questions Zenix as to what happened, as he was with Brendon. Zenix states that he and Brendon were working, when he heard a noise and saw Brendon has been shot. Looking around, he spotted a thief in green, and attempted to pursue, but then instead flagged down Dale. Which, to me, is a massive red flag, as Zenix is a hot headed idiot who has ALWAYS chased things down. But you know, everything all crazy.

So after more or less dismissing HOW everything went down, its explained that while Aph was able to help Brendon, whatever was on the arrow is still eating at his flesh, and he needs this special herb. However, Visher, who normally sells medicine, doesn’t have any in stock at the moment. But, the Lord of Bright Port does! Aphmau at this point as been listening to the conversation, and discovered that for whatever reason, her powers aren’t working. Visher makes it clear that he can leave to get the herbs, but will only leave in the morning when its safe. So what does Aph do? 

She jumps out the window and steals Paul’s boat. 

....

This is the most on brand thing she’s done, I swear. 

We get a small taste of Gene and Sasha being all evil, Gene sayin he needs to go do something, and even dropping hints about Sasha’s past (oooOOOO).

So Aphmau sets sail (don’t even get me started on how she fuckin knows how to use a goddamned boat) and she makes it to -

BRIGHT PORT!!!!

We’re movin on in the world y’all! It’s GREAT. 

And now.

My favorite PART of the episode.

The One.

THE ONLY.

*insert the sound of panties dropping*

Laurence.... 

Laurence sees Aph, decides he’s gonna go after that, and starts to work his charm. Some of the village girls get a bit upset, but aren’t too upset. He flusters her, then leaves to Meteli, to lie in wait.

Now, to some OG fans, you all might be questioning : Hey, why is Laurence here so early? Well you see there... dear viewers, Laurence WAS in Bright Port the first time Aphmau went to Bright Port.

Nice little nod to the OG series there Jess. 

BUT ANYWAYS.

We come upon some kid named John, who is pleading with some guards to help him free a baby werewolf. They refuse, and Aph steps in to help him out, in exchange for help. 

AND SO WE MEET LOWEL. 

Look at him. He’s so tiny. He’s looks kinda weird. But she saves him and its v cute.

Bromance.

And a weird lil hug. But that’s excusable. 

This next boat scene ain’t. 

Dear. Lord. 

I see why the boats were only seen in low light. This looks like... BAD. I get it. These peeps are on a tight schedule. They pop one episode out a week. BUT LIKE THIS BOAT LOOKS SO WEIRD. IDK MAN. ITS JUST WEIRDLY SMOOTH AND GROSS AND LOOKS LIKE PNG. BLEH.

This scene is basically just setting Gene up to whatever the fuck he’s gonna do. But i could care less cuz THE FUCKIN BOAT.

And that sums up the episode! What are y’alls thoughts? Feel free to add to the post, I’d love to talk to more Aphmau fans! And look forward to my drawing for this episode. See y’all next time ^-^

[soreavs]

⌠ RYDER MCLAUGHLIN, 20, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, SOREN AVERY! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in UNDECIDED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of hands crossed tightly over his chest, the uneven collar of a muddied school uniform and a reluctant smile. when it’s the virgo’s birthday on 10/27/1999, they always request their POTATO DUMPLINGS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

hello again , i couldn’t help but bring in a new chara !! unlike lucie, soren is a completely new character, so i rly went all in . i’m gonna tldr his bio as much as i can but this intro post will mostly be about his personality and some wcs , b/c i wrote a full bio which u can read here ! it explains everything in far more detail , but it’s a beefy boi , and also tw for, death, delusional disorder, implied suicide, implied murder . i’ll be yeeting out a starter soon but as always , please feel free to slither into my dms or ims !

okay so my tldr of my bio is gna sound kinda .. crass cos im truly just stating what happened but i understand that not everyone has the time to read long ass bios so please forgive if this sounds v apathetic to some of the traumas he endured. 

biography

mother left when he was born, leaving him with his dad and twin sisters who are eight years older than him. she apparently left for work with the intention of coming back, but never did. his family was always religious but turned to a strain of evangelical christianity which was very intense. when his sisters grew up they prevented him from attending. his life has been characterized by death or disappearances, four in particular. 1) his mother, who he never really knew. 2) his baseball coach who he knew well  3) his grandpa and 4) his sister. he never really processed this as grief because he had a really really overactive imagination and a rly fluctuating support system. he watched a lot of alien movies, and because his grandpa who had dementia was always going on about aliens he really started to believe that their disappearances had something to do with aliens. his father just believed he was enthused about aliens, space and physics, but never knew how that was affecting his grieving processes. it kinda all blew up in his face, when he was eighteen and his sister went missing after an argument with his dad. seven months later after the body is never found but there are indications that she may have been murdered, they have a funeral. he doesn’t believe she’s really dead, and he’s sure that he, like his mom, grandpa and sisters are in some part alien. he tells this to his sister and dad and they immediately send him to get help. because that drains them of all funds (they even have to ask extended family to help out), he feels super ashamed, but remembers the letter from gallagher he’d gotten just before he graduated high school. since it’s free and prestigious he hopes to make up for some of the harm he caused them, even though the faintest part of him still believes there’s something amiss with their disappearances. it’s likely his mother was a spy, and never told any of her family, but has somehow been trying to protect them over the years and that his sister is somewhere alive but yeh!

personality 

bb boi is rly just trying to recover from his whole life lmao .. he had baseball friends and school friends, but never rly friend friends?? he’s always been an athlete and gotten very good grades which is why his father kinda overlooked what else may had been going on with him?? 

anyways, he’s a bit shy at first but he’s pretty crackable dhjfg like an egg , just one tap on the table and he’s a gooey mess . still at the point where all he wants to talk about is aliens but as per his therapists advice, he’s trying to tone it down 

spy school wise ?? he’s into it , definitely , there’s always something to keep his mind occupied , with the extensive library and gym and pool , it’s more than enough . he did cross country and baseball in high school so he has the agility, but a binch is scared for bootcamp have u seen his twig arms 

also he’s undecided in his major b/c he wants to try everything but also he’s just a mess , he’s into this but also lowkey his main factor when deciding was the rep it had to outsiders and the fact that it was free 

he’s p soft spoken even when he’s excited , only a sliver of what goes on inside his head makes it out in the world wide world dfjhgk .. just realized none of this shit is personality based what can i say i have no braincells 

he’s nice! a little sensitive, a little moody, a little disconnected, can be chatty but can also be very nervous to talk in general constantly second guessing himself boom . 

wanted connections

lit rally anyone who’s an Expert in their major because he’s undecided but also a binch could have probably been valedictorian in the class had things not gone off the deep end towards the end of the year , so he wants to do well obviously . so one person for each major maybe ? he Shall rise as the  King  Of Jack of All Trades 

a solid friend group ? maybe a best friend? has never had one of those, sounds nice . 

jogging buddy .. he likes to run . it’s nice to run with someone . or so he’s heard , has also never done it . 

he’s in first year so the likelihood of exes is a lil slim , but i wld be down to plot smth that just didn’t work out cos he was not in the right mental frame at all like two weeks into starting Spy School and trying to hold a relationship . it would have been a v short term thing ! 

someone who tempts him to talk abt aliens , but to the point where it sounds crazy , or alternatively someone to suggest that someone in his family prolly had something to do with spydom 

hookups mayhaps 

anything else come @ me !!