#mayhaps a reread is in order

[sugar-omi]

hi!!!!!! I survived my finals so now I can brainrot again 🤭

daydreaming of cove and rereading ur posts have LICHRALLY been keeping me afloat the past two weeks and all I can think of is my out of state-college mc having a tearful reunion w cove after coming home for winter break 😪

and the whole family finds it amusing cause it’s only been a few weeks since thanksgiving break and yall saw each other back then there’s no need for another round of tears 😭💀

they don’t kno the tears r from when cove couldn’t hug and comfort u during ur exams and could only talk u thru it over the phone

-🗑️

OMG HIII it's been so quiet from you and 🕓anon so i figured school was kicking your ass, especially since its exam season i would say i'm glad im not in school but im thinking of going this spring/summer semester.... goodbye fantasies of a gap year. you were a nice dream.... :,) also now i need cove comforting mc through school so mayhaps a tiny ramble bc i started thinking abt it too n we actually needa talk abt mc/cove in school more bc it's yummy thought

omg you and cove only survived being apart by constant video calls

you'd be on your side of the state, homework spread out over the table, your computer sounding like a helicopter ready for take off, crying or on the verge of tears

and then cove is on his side, flustered or teary because you're upset so it makes him upset and he can't comfort you so now you're just crying over *insert subject here*

he's a silly lil guy

tries to help you study

(i just thought abt yall using kisses as motivation but that'd definitely be a distraction in practice. lots of homework went undone that way)

if you have to make something, and it won't take too long to ship, he'll buy something you need for the project, be it because you forgot or can't find it in stores or don't have enough money, or none of the above- he just does it bc he can, and mail it to you

i had a photography class (i hated it for personal reasons, the teachers/class was great but i did not need that 💀💀)

and my friends would send me pics they took n i'd use them for class right

i think cove would help you that way

probably needs help from someone else or asks you for tips but delivers nice pictures

omg. cove ordering you food or money for food

isn't listening at all if you protest, he just wants to do something nice for you

idk about yall but i need distractions after tests/homework bc im convinced i bombed it

the whole day youre attached to the hip, always holding hands or cuddling

[shrinkthisviolet]

🚥🔨 ✂ 🧜‍♂️📃

🚥: Is there a character choice or plotline that you regret but is now canon and you feel like you can't change it?

Idk if there's a specific one, but if I had the choice to do this over again, I'd write the arcs in order—s1 and then s2. I feel dissatisfied sometimes with the way I wrote certain things in s2 (Barry & Morgan's relationship, for example, not being quite as close-siblings-esque as it is right now), because there were things I hadn't figured out yet. It's not so severe that I feel the need to overhaul it and write it from scratch*, I think I've mostly worked within that limit fairly well, but…even in terms of writing style, you can kinda tell that my writing style improved from s2 to s1…which is sorta the opposite of the effect you want to have 😅 it's not a bad arc by any means, I'm still proud of it (and it's not finished anyway, so it'll still end strong), I just…sometimes I wish I'd written it after s1 instead of before

*however, I probably will end up tweaking part of Morgan's reaction to Barry's paralysis in 2x06 to be more about "oh my god my invincible big brother is paralyzed", not just about "oh my god Zoom is terrifying". And a while back, I did tweak one of the other oneshots in s2, which originally had Iris not knowing Morgan was Sentry (that is obviously not the case anymore, so I edited it). Minor little tweaks like that are ones I might make (and I will undoubtedly recommend rereading the posted fics of the s2 arc once the s1 arc is finished), but overall, I've managed to stay surprisingly in line with the s2 arc so far.

🔨: Are there any whump tropes that you'd love to see your OC's reactions to even though you couldn't or wouldn't put it into your actual story for whatever reason?

Oooh well I'd love for Barry and Morgan to be captured together by Zoom at some point, but idk if it could work. One of them at a time, maybe, but…I don't know if there's really a feasible way to have them both captured while still fitting in with the way s2's plot unfolds (and I do love s2 and its plot for the most part, so I don't want to disrupt it too much…aside from the few divergences I've already planned)

✂: Is there a plotline that you'd planned to write but for whatever reason has been abandoned?

Oooh well back when Barry & Morgan were just friends, not siblings, there was going to be more awkwardness with Henry and Tina dating, due to Barry and Morgan facing the possibility of stepsiblinghood and feeling awkward about it. That still remains in a sense—the awkwardness is just about gaining a stepparent, and not about also gaining a stepsibling. It included the latter originally, but since Barry and Morgan chose each other as siblings as early as 1x14, it would make no sense for them to feel awkward about becoming stepsiblings.

Oh, the consequences of becoming very attached to them 😅 I fast-tracked their sibling dynamic. I don't feel too bad about it though—honestly I can't imagine s1 without their close relationship, and it strengthens 2x06 (Morgan's reaction to Barry's paralysis is no longer just about Zoom, but also about Barry)...and future arcs in the series. I can live with losing part of the "stepfamily adjustment" plotline, because a) I still have part of it anyway and b) Barry & Morgan being this close from so early on is better in the long run

🧜‍♂️: If your OC could choose to be a nonhuman character, what do you think they would choose? If they are a nonhuman character, would they choose to be human or another sort of nonhuman character?

A siren (the aquatic kind specifically)! Morgan had a mermaid fascination phase, and she loves singing. Plus, after making this moodboard + blurb…I'm quite fascinated with the idea myself (siren!Morgan fic one day mayhaps?) 👀

📃: List a few words, without any explanation, that have to do with ideas you have for future stories or chapters that may or may not ever get written.

betrayal, grief, longing, loneliness, family, new beginnings, trust

oc ask game!

Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):

@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs

@thechaoticfanartist @tempests-of-hope @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

[strangesmallbard]

mayhaps started an asoiaf reread. you can fit so much foreshadowing in that prologue huh…the boy commander dying in the snow, “the real enemy is the cold” and “the order had been given, and honor bound them to obey,” knowing the first time we see ned stark he’s executing a deserter because that’s the rules. and seven-year-old bran is watching and learning!

[happytapirstudio]

Redwall Reread #0: Intro

My intro to Brian Jacques' Redwall series was actually the animated adaptations that aired on PBS Kids in the early 2000's. I was talking about them with my (much older) next-door neighbor one day and she was like "oh yeah I love those books", and I, a young but avid reader, was like, "Books?"

For those of you who don’t know, Redwall is a children’s fantasy book about mice and other woodland creatures living in an abbey (Redwall Abbey), which they are pressed to defend against invaders (”vermin” like rats, weasels, foxes, etc.)  It’s also the name of the subsequent series of 20+ books that followed, published between 1986 and 2011.

The world of Redwall is complex and charming, and thus still widely read and beloved decades after its original publication.  For me personally, it was one of my favorite series growing up, and consequently had a huge influence on my writing style.  I’ve read all but the last few books, several of them multiple times.  Originally I read them in publication order (the recommended reading order for first-timers, and what I was naturally inclined towards), though I’d grown a little tired of them towards the very end, and stopped reading around 2012-13.  Mr. Jacques was writing these books right up until his death.  In fact, the final installment, The Rogue Crew, was published posthumously.  Truthfully, the stories could at times be a touch formulaic, and my impression ten years ago was that this formula had run its course, at least for me.

That being said, while the stories’ predictability was a common complaint, I think it’s also a testament to the success of the original formula that Mr. Jacques was able to craft so many delightful books by staying true to that original model.  He really did create a beautiful world, beautiful largely I think because it promised readers that goodness and love and peace would always outlast cruelty and misery.  My intent with this reread isn’t necessarily to dissect that Redwall Formula.  Mostly I’m just feeling nostalgic, and I’m using that as an excuse to revisit a rich a wonderful world, and to re-explore Redwall with an adult perspective.

But there will be essays. Oh yes, there will be essays.

I’ve always wanted to read Redwall in its chronological order, to try and piece together the lineages and subtle evolution of Mossflower Wood, so that’s what I’m doing now.  Lord Brocktree is in the bag, with Martin the Warrior soon to follow, so expect to see posts for those two shortly.  I will be writing a general reaction for each book, titled “Redwall Reread no. X”, in addition to more general thoughts and fleshed-out essays; all will be logged under the tag ‘tapir’s redwall reread’.  I’m anticipating this to be a two-year project.  Not that anyone’s counting.

Speaking of “years” though I do want to mention one last thing - sort of bring this full-circle - a couple years ago, it was announced that a Redwall movie adaptation was in the works, courtesy of Netflix.  Mr. Patrick McHale was set as the writer.  Yeah I totally flipped my shit about it.  Yeah we haven’t heard much else since then.  Who knows?  Mayhaps in the time it takes me to reread and review every Redwall book, that project will see the light of day.

But until then...

[teiasviago]

I'm haunted by that one Whumptober story you did... the Redux AU... absolutely horrible to inflict that on us but man it lives in my head rentfree

something something mulder finding peace through healing his inner child by giving children the care he needed and in turn coming to peace with scully’s death... mayhaps a reread is in order por mois...

[readingasoiafachapteraday]

New writing added to the Prologue (Ch1):

[Just keep reading if you dont wanna reread the whole thing again, the addition is super short and Jon PoV, right after Jaime PoV]

Fear had hold of him. Mind-numbing fear.

He had thought death would be a relief, ever since he had brushed against it - coming back like he knew he was not meant to - he had been ready for his end, hoping to meet his Gods at the end when his breath finally stopped for good. He had been wishing for it, despite his best efforts.

He had felt the beautiful white flame pouring from the undead skull of Viserion, pathetically welcoming it as he felt the heat. He had belatedly wondered if it would melt his valyrian steel sword, and then found ecstasy in the fact that he would not have to care soon, as the warmth had washed over him.

But it was not to be so. He had expected darkness and numbness and nothing and the relief of end, but what had greeted him was not something he had ever imagined. It was not something he could have ever comprehended.

He was dead, he knew. And yet. Something was wrong.

He felt… off. He did not feel, but he was. He had upset something. Someone had upset an order and he was subjected to wrath and pain and regret. It shot through him, burning him and his insides, even though he was sure he was… not.

He wasn't. But the pain was.

It wished to tell him but he wished not to know. He felt a second of… something. A pressure lessened.

And then it returned thousandfold and he regretted ever being born. And then he regretted death and life and all his words and all deeds and wished again to stop. To stop his kin and his blood and who hated him and loved him. He wished it to stop. It pained him and stabbed, like a bed of needles or claws and tore through him, though he was sure he was… not.

Something brushed past him and he felt a soothing breeze of… truth.

He had inhaled it like air and drank it like water and soon he swam in it. He could feel the words, tasting the lies and the half-truths. A tall tale that birthed a lie and a short lie that saved the truth. Blood flew from him and into him and through all his orifices even though he was sure… he was not. Then how?

Sights flew past him as blood rushed around him - the thickness of it distracted him for a split second before he was suffocating again - as he had been all this time but it was different now - he was high above somewhere in the clouds above water or man or sea or air but he saw them all still.

He saw the winds.

They flew like life and scenes he could not understand but knew. He saw faces and islands and ships and stone. He witnessed promises and the greatest lies ever uttered. They throbbed in his veins painfully like rotten ale or ruined meat or poisoned broth. The thickness of it would burst him open and release him from this torture.

Then it turned and he felt everything… rise. He was rising. With the wind and the water, the waves and the fires and the true blood. It rose all at once, making him with it in its ruthless pursuit, mindless and impartial, destructive and true. The only truth.

The only truth.

At first he thought it would kill him, finally. Mayhaps he needed to know it to pass but as soon as he had awareness, he knew that was not to be the case.

Want. He wanted.

The first emotion hit him like a newborn's first breath - stinging his lungs and his eyes and all he knew of his body. Needles to thorns. He wanted, badly. Finally.

He was finally feeling and with truth and awareness came the unsolicited hunger and want. He felt hunger claw at his insides, he wanted so desperately. The next moment he felt full. Like a newborn after the first suck at the mother's b*east - full to the brim with truth, warm nothings sloshing in his belly, promises fulfilling him and blood protecting him and darkness giving him. He almost giggled.

Something of the delirium faded after that but his body felt… he was swimming. In thick waters, but not of the Godswood or any he knew. His stomach was pleasant and full and he felt lighter than he ever remembered being. He was soothed and asked and he smiled and gurgled names, formless and bubbly, for no one to hear.

PS- I intend to eventually have all (7, not 28) main characters’ experience with….. this. They will all be different. You’ll get it later im sure.

[knittedbond]

the essex serpent truly is solidified as one of my favorite books of all time. mayhaps a reread is in order

[fiapple]

when i'm feeling slightly more human (mayhaps monday), i think i might poll what book i'm to read next. like, i have a few options which is normally a good thing, but in this case a bad thing because ptsd makes choices overwhelming for me... might poll before then to see whether i should read a new book or reread something.

honestly, what this is making me realize is that the poll function was made for those who like knowing the general opinion on smth when they're in a public space in order to judge said space, & those who could not make a fucking personal choice if their life depended on it. staff did one thing right.

[hwaightme]

fiRST OF ALL LOREN OMG I LOVE YOU LIKE PLS THAT IS SO AMAZING OF YOU TO WORK IN PAEDIATRICS WHAT HADJKGHSKDsgdJKHGDS YOU LEGEND-

the rest i am putting under a cut because i literally wrote an essay i am SoRRY-

second i am LITERALLY MELTING RIGHT NOW PLEASE THIS MEANS THE ENTIRE WORLD AND MORE TO ME!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!! I feel like stickers are honestly one of the most joyful yet visually clear ways of expressing support and achievement.... so.... please.... let us have our cute stickers we BeG (as for Hwa... man.... every sticker is like a medal, and because he lets the kids choose the type of sticker... the design of it, he essentially can more or less remember what kiddo put what sticker where <3333)

plEASE I WILL CRY THAT IS SO CUTE YES ADORABLE DATES TO KMART WITH HWA TO GET THE GOODIES OH MY GOSH IMAGINE MAKING LITTLE SCENES WITH THE FURNITURE AND TOYS SO THERE ARE THEMES AND THEY VARY DEPENDING ON OFFICE OR SECTION OF A PLAY AREA I-

Hwa literally will sacrifice anything and everything if it means his precious patient has a good time and goes out of that room happier than how they were when they came in ;~; literally tries to figure out the 'vibes' and predisposition of the little one so things aren't spooky, because at the end of the day everything might be hella new to them, and it is unfair to expect literally no emotion ;~; THE POWER OF NYAH TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!!!

He puts that schedule into his phone as a separate option on the calendar so he can check when you two are both free or not - this calendar is also shared with you so you can make little bookings during the day to see each other for a snack break <33 also if say, he had outpatient day and there was nothing too intense, while you had a very serious surgery, you bet he is cooking a comforting meal for you and running a relaxing bath with salts - pyjamas are sOft and prepped so you can knock out straight away ;~;

I see Wooyoung as one of the overlords of paediatrics especially when it comes to the youngest kids - i get the vibe he might even specialise in neonatology... so when critical times hit he is in that neonatal ward RULING IT; and then that translates to the parents essentially trusting him with their babies fully. So like... in my head at least at the moment I see Woo more baby/toddler, while Hwa is slightly older toddlers, children to young adults maYhaps.

yES!!!! Genuinely power couples and supporting passions is just so SO IMPORTANT and REAL AND NEEDED AND GRADFJHDGFKHGSDKJG YES

*would you..... be interested.... in a collab???? mayHAPs???? do dm if so because i do as a matter of fact have some chaotic notes down huehuehueheuehueheehueUEHEUH*

POET BAI ADJFHSDKHSDGJKDhgKSDJHGSf

Hwa literally short circuited so hard because the dreAMS THEY CAME TRUE he is literally planning everything and thinking of the pinterest boards he will make like wHat DO YOU meAN he HAs TO DO MIDNIGht ROUNDS nAH bOI i need to plan my wEDDiNg (jokes he will probably feel the weight of responsibility too hard to take out his phone except to send you spam of heart emojis and then a ring emoji)

i think medical pickup lines are supreme and are a need for society, we MUST MAKE THEM MORE WIDESPREAD!!!!!! MEDICAL RIZZ SUPREMACY!!!!!! It's just what the doctor ordered~

genuinely this means the whole universe to me, i read and reread your reblog and am still grinning so heLLA WIDE!!! thank you so much for making my heart so dang full ilysm

*and really if you are down to brainwave..... im down....~~*

Page me

(masterlist) (taglist)

🩺 pairing: paediatrician!bf!seonghwa x neurosurgeon!gn!reader 🩺 genre: fluff, doctor au, established long-term relationship, festive fic 🩺 summary: in the early hours of a shared night shift right before christmas, the present turns into a gift, and seonghwa can't be happier and more in love 🩺 wordcount: 7.8k total 🩺 warnings/tags: slightly edited, the fluff is strong, simpery is real, two doctors with heart eyes, marriage, proposals, family, hwa is yearing, woo cameo, woo+hwa banter, yeo+yunho mention, mom+kid side ocs, needles/syringes, injections, hospitals, night shifts, unconventional marshmallow toasting, a lot of love and sharing life <3 🩺 taglist: at the bottom of the fic 🩺 a/n: happy holidays and merry christmas~ the idea for this was in the drafts for ages, reignited hardcore by @starrysvn(...the cameos hehet), and it feels right for the festive season~ much love! comments, reblogs, notes all appreciated

Clean and comforting. The poster-room of an office, personalised, and yet retaining all the professional qualities necessary. The gentle swaying of the tulle that transformed the twinkling of a myriad of skyscrapers outside and a magnificent deep navy and inky black star-filled sky into a soothing haze, the ticking of a clock adorned with illustrations from the doctor’s favourite franchise. There was a unity even in the multicoloured shelves and cupboards. Stickers, kindly left behind by particularly pleased, proud and excited patients turned into permanent decorations on the sides of the otherwise strictly uniform desk, bringing relief and encouragement to its occupant. The newest additions - a small desk Christmas tree that was decorated on theme with the rest of the space, and a couple of garlands elegantly hung on the top cupboards and above the tulle served as reminders that it was, in fact, the festive season, and celebrations were only a day away. Even so, healthcare could not take a holiday, and the hospital was busier than ever.

“Hey… do you like… Lego?”

It had been long enough since the beginning of the appointment, as Doctor Park Seonghwa had noted, but the little patient sitting in front of him was still refusing to succumb to the wrath of a ‘spooky scary needle that makes him go ouchy’. Seonghwa could not blame the boy though - if there was something he never did, it was to project a child’s behaviour outwards into adult societal expectations. As a matter of fact, he rarely did that for adults too. He never saw the point, nor did he wish to impose some alternative spin on reality onto anyone who he had the pleasure of meeting, especially his patients or their relatives. As L/N Junseo crossed his arms in disapproval, Seonghwa could not help but spin a tiny fraction on his stool that he used during appointments such as this, and sneak another piece of sporadic scrutiny towards the mother. As he had assumed, there was little comfort to be offered from her side - she was sitting in a corner across the room, fanning herself and sending worried glances in the approximate direction of both the doctor and her son.

So, he had no choice left. He had to pull the most powerful weapons out of his arsenal - inspired by the many pieces that served as baubles on his desktop tree. Seonghwa was grateful that he had the foresight to not unpack the disposable syringe before checking the kid’s tolerance. Judging by the smile that spread across the boy’s face, and the confused expression gracing his mother’s, Seonghwa knew he hit the jackpot and there was potential for him to catch a break if the appointment did not run over, and if he was lucky enough, perhaps the main reason behind his rush would be free too. The simple thought inadvertently crawled into Seonghwa’s mind, and he lowered his gaze to suppress a shy smile and return to being the amiable paediatrician that he needed to be.

“Now, mister Junseo, will you wait a couple of seconds for me?” After receiving his patient’s enthusiastic nods of approval, he spun around on his stool, and rolled towards the cabinet that occupied the majority of the right wall of his office.

Stopping himself from crashing into his desk with a fast hand, he opened one of the lower doors to reveal a series of colour coded and labelled trays, each one filled to the brim with even more vibrant hues, but maintaining a strict order. Pulling the first and then the second tray from the top, the doctor inspected the contents, and decided to give the final decision to Junseo, turning to him with a grin on his face.

“Dinosaurs or spaceships?”

“Spaceships!” just as Seonghwa had thought, this question broke through the storm clouds of doubt and fear, cutting right down to Junseo’s primary interests, some of which the young doctor just so happened to share – the only difference was that the latter had to also remember that he had a job to do, and that job involved convincing, or cleverly deceiving with good intentions, a little kid into a routine shot. It was hard not to wonder what your, his life partner’s, reaction would be if you were in this room with him, considering that this environment was probably the furthest a space from your natural habitat - the operating room, could be.

“A man of good taste I see. I mean, dinosaurs are cool too, but I will let you in on a little secret… I have matching spaceship band aids,” As he pulled out the tray that contained some pre-built spaceships, with the bricks being from a younger-child-friendly set, along with stray pieces that turned the set into the perfect cognitive and sensory exercise, Seonghwa took time to explain his actions to the boy. In a way this was not too dissimilar from the preparation of instruments for surgery, so perhaps you would find joy in this interaction to the same extent as him. He shook his head lightly, reeling himself back to the matter at hand.

Sometimes, Seonghwa pondered whether too much of his budget, and, on occasion, personal finances, went towards making his office be more of a playground than what one would imagine ‘a doctor’s lair’ to be – in his mind, that was your office, one that he visited enough times to memorise. An ode to modernity, with books and documents, diagrams and an anatomically accurate model of a brain with various labels - just what one would expect of a real doctor. But both fortunately and unfortunately, this was a style that Seonghwa would not attempt to achieve in his own office. There was a mat on the floor made out of foam puzzle pieces, there was every form of toy transport he could find, animals, dolls… he swore he appeared in toy stores more regularly than in the pharmacy at this point. But the joy with which his patients’ faces lit up was more than encouraging, reminding him that he was on the right path, he was doing well, and that everything was worth it.

“NO WAY!” Junseo yelled out, excitedly kicking his feet. The paper towels that lined the bench rustled slightly, the link between the sheets being stress tested – much like the mother, who appeared to be speechless, but at least no longer faint.

Seonghwa imagined that his present conclusions and responsive actions were not too distant from how teachers felt when they saw a certain type of action be executed by a child, and then saw its origins during parent teacher conferences. The conclusion had come to his mind on its own accord but resounded loudly enough for him to send a reassuring gleam to Missus in the corner, and observe her delayed reactions as she, evidently, was battling the instinct to throttle him to the ground and save her child from danger. How wild and fascinating the generational sharing of fears and burdens was. Seonghwa turned his attention back to the star of the show, who was eagerly waiting for the eloquently advertised, and much anticipated, spaceships.

“Yes way! And I can show them to you later.” Seonghwa responded with a chuckle, setting the tray next to the boy, making him turn to the side and better expose the arm that was to receive the intramuscular injection. Even though Junseo was now fully immersed in the toy provided, he still expressed his gratitude, forcing the man to use every ounce of strength in him to not melt.

“Thank you so much Doctor Park!”

"No, thank you! Lego is my favourite, you know, but if you picked dinosaurs, you could have heard my tyrannosaurus rex impression." He could hear some shuffling outside of the room, turning into a thud as he introduced his ‘special ability’ when it came to distraction tactics. It was straining, conducting all his appointments without a nurse, since quite a number had arranged to go on holiday for Christmas, including his favourite in the form of a tall man with the brightest smile and enough energy to power the whole building - Jeong Yunho. Was it a challenge for Seonghwa? Perhaps, but he was coping. Besides, would he really want anyone here with him except a certain someone who was not even in this specialisation?

"Awh... no... but that sounds so fun I wanna hear, I wanna hear!!!" The cute boy was practically begging, giving Seonghwa his best puppy dog eyes with a turn of his head – that would not do for the doctor’s mission, however, Junseo needed to be practically in a different realm for it to work.

"Could you attach this jet engine please?" In the softest voice he could muster, Seonghwa guided attention back to the spaceships, commenting on how well Junseo was assembling them. He infinitely admired the ability that children had to disregard common practices, ignore rules and simply create. As Junseo would get older, he would undoubtedly have to succumb to standardisation, but in the meantime, he could enjoy picking a wild palette of coloured bricks, not think about astrophysics when constructing the ships, and be perfectly satisfied with what he was crafting.

"Mhm..."

Using the moment of distraction, Seonghwa turned and reached for the hand sanitiser pump on his desk, cleaning his hands. With practised motions, as he returned to his seat in front of the kid, the doctor took out the prefilled syringe out of the pocket of his white coat, peeling the decontamination seal to fish the item out. He had a small window of opportunity and needed to act fast to seize it. From the other pocket, he produced a packet with an alcohol swab, carefully tearing it, as far away from Junseo as possible so that he would not be shocked by the smell.

"Now, Junseo, could you sit a little closer to me, so... oh thank you!" The child obediently shuffled, not taking his eyes off the Lego pieces. "You might feel a little cold on your arm, but don't worry I will roar that away, okay, you with me? Ah wait, how do we make that ship the strongest in the galaxy?" breath in, breath out. Watching the child’s movements so that he would not accidentally hurt himself. Lifting the sleeve of the t-shirt the Junseo was wearing ever so slightly, Seonghwa crept towards the bench on his wheeled stool, praying to every higher power that he would be done with this appointment soon, but retaining his professionalism. It was now or never.

"Imma show you-"

"Nyaaaaaaah~"

As soon as Seonghwa started, he was done, and the syringe was long hidden behind his back as he pressed a cotton ball to the area, though Junseo could not care less, having broken into a fit of giggles over the interesting interpretation of a t-rex. No matter how exhausted he was, this was one of the things the doctor lived for – having the ability to make medicine, doctor’s visits, and hospitals just a little bit less miserable for the little ones, something of a game or an adventure, him being of the opinion that these pocket-sized humans did not deserve to be exposed to the struggles quite yet. If it was in his power, he would have changed the ‘quite yet’ to never, but that was far too utopian, and something wiped out of him in first year of medical school. So, Doctor Park simply tried his best.

"DOCTOR PARK THAT WAS NOT A ROAR!!!" Junseo proclaimed, still giggling as he clutched onto a bright green brick. Seonghwa chuckled, sliding to the left to dispose of the syringe in a biohazard bin, stretching himself out so that he could still keep holding the cotton ball. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the mother beginning to come to her senses, the ‘high alert’ mode dropping to a more manageable, generally healthy parental worry.

"Then come on, show me what you've got. I bet you have a-"

"ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAR!!!" With him being startled by what he should have expected, he could not help but throw a glance at the other adult in the room, finding her surprised. Hands clasped together, she whispered ‘goodness gracious’, and upon finding out that she had a one-man audience, gave a sheepish grin and looked down. Seonghwa was calming down from his ‘performance’, the doctor, actor, caregiver and child-friendly comedian in him began to leave his body, giving way to a straightforward happiness of a man who could see that he helped out people in need.

"Wow now that is IMPRESSIVE Mister Junseo! Ah wait, could you hold this for me?” he gestured towards the cotton ball, and once the boy complied, backed away to get some more hand sanitiser. “We are done!"

"Huh? Wait... no ouchy?" genuinely confused, the toddler asked, dropping the Lego pieces entirely and blinking in slow motion.

"We scared the ouchy away with spaceships and your awesome roar, didn't we?"

"WE DID!! WE DID!!" With the cotton forgotten, Junseo was about to hop off the bench, his hands pressed into the dark grey material he had been sitting on, but before he could Seonghwa caught him, easily picking the boy up in his arms despite the weight that it put on him. After all, patients came first, and this was always a clear sign that he was trusted – besides, the kid did not have any other ailments, so a little hug would not hurt anyone, especially not Seonghwa’s soul.

"We did! I promised you a cool band aid too so... ah hold on let me... watch your head please." With Junseo still in his arms, Doctor Park ambled towards the other side of the office, closer to where the mother was now standing, to reach into one of the shelves and retrieve the packet of what he considered to be something akin to achievement stamps. A final well done from him to the patient, for being so courageous and letting Seonghwa poke them with a needle.

The rest of the appointment went by in a blur. The boy was safely back in his mother’s arms, sporting a colourful bandaid, babbling away about spaceships, quietly repeating Seonghwa’s dinosaur impression, and emphasising for the umpteenth time that ‘the injection actually did not hurt at all’, much to the mother’s delight. She looked to be on cloud nine as she held her bundle of joy, and even though he was bouncing on her lap to the point where the doctor would assume that she was in discomfort, the woman showed no sign, and instead gleamed at him, expressing genuine gratitude.

"So sorry for all the trouble and that I could not help in any way, please accept my-"

"No need no need! Junseo is such a sweet boy, and it was all his bravery in the end. I am just doing my job." He tried to assure her, flipping through the vaccination booklet she had provided and filling out the details of the shot. While checking the date just in case, despite him having a mental countdown to Christmas with the precision down to an hour practically built into his brain, he still noted the clock on his computer, memorising the time in order to figure out when approximately you would be done with the surgery you had arranged for this evening. Maybe he would have enough time to stop by your department, and manage to catch you there to ask about what plans for celebration you two would dare have in between busy schedules. His attention was guided back to the jovial duo on the armchair, as the mother spoke once more.

"You perform miracles, Doctor Park. Really. You are truly one of a kind! Before today I was convinced that he was wired to cry at every appointment..." she lowered her voice a little, just as Junseo turned away to pick at one of his trouser pockets.

"If you are worried about him developing any phobias and the like, I can recommend some amazing medical experts who can work with you and him?" Whenever anyone voiced a concern, he took it as part of his responsibility to respond wholeheartedly, and as such, once he completed the record, offered assistance. Perhaps this was also a safe zone for him, a removal from what otherwise would inevitably make his heart melt or ache. But to no avail.

"Oh no, no, I think I found the cure right here. Really, my husband will be so impressed about this!”

Husband. Happy family. There it was. Seonghwa felt the corner of his mouth twitch as he lifted himself off his chair, shut the booklet and returned it to the mother, and wife. It was difficult to convince himself that this was not jealousy tugging at his nerves and heartstrings, as the more he pondered the image of what had to be a perfect union, the dinners, the days out in the park, the little meet ups for lunch if either partner was otherwise busy… the domesticity got to him and made him want to slam the table in frustration. So, he did the next best thing, and clasped his hands behind his back so that he would not dare act out of line.

“Is that so?” he forced out, remaining composed as he returned the mother’s bows while she ushered her son forward and stood up to head for the door. He could not help but imagine the duo walking under the lights that adorned every shop, every street and coming home to their own tree, coming together as a small family in a cosy atmosphere. Similar routines, similar time off, the space to love and to live and to enjoy being ‘one’ to the fullest. 

“I think he will want to come with us next time, to meet you, really… of course if you don't mind us scheduling check-ups with you from now on?" meet him… so Seonghwa could see the whole assembly… Really, right in the moment when his head was filled with thoughts of you, he had to be reminded of just how adorable some aspects of paediatrics could be, to the degree of malicious irritation. 

He bet that the reason why you were so relaxed about your relationship was because you were not in direct contact with families and cute kids, for the most part. The closest you came to communicating with patients was in briefing, de-briefing and maintenance of their condition pre- and post- operation. He had to see the bad and good, the downs and ups, the rollercoasters and the memorable highs over long periods of time. Some of his patients he had known for so long, they were basically his relatives, and the personifications of sunshine that would rush to greet him, nearly stumbling over tiny shoes and sometimes barely reaching his waist, or even mid-thigh, restored his faith in the universe. It was exactly because he was aware of the downsides, and still desired this closeness and this next step with you, that he was cursing time itself for not allowing him to express this hope properly. Sure, you had discussed marriage, and both of you were more than committed to one another, but no words had been said about the part where someone popped the question. Was there ever going to be ‘the right time’? Especially when both of you were at the early stages of your medical careers, and were caught adrift in the chaotic shifts, training, exams and had to sacrifice yourselves for thousands who came through the doors of the hospital.

"Ah, whatever you would prefer, Missus Hwang. It would be an honour.” He squashed his nerves for the remainder of the appointment, and peacefully parted with the two visitors to KQ Hospital, wishing them the happiest holidays and for a stable recovery from the vaccination. 

Seonghwa remained standing in the corridor, his back propping the door to the office. Closing his eyes, he listened to the opening of the elevator, and let out a breath he did not know he had been holding once Junseo’s excited, shrill voice was muted by the doors. Gears moved into action as the machine carried the mother and son away from the paediatric ward. The doctor rolled his head in an attempt to relieve at least some of the tension that had built up from the back-to-back out-patient care, the abominable late nights, and the vexatious haze that plagued him in his own life.

It was going to be a long night. And he was barely a quarter of the way through his night shift; perhaps the winter cold and the shorter days were to blame for the melancholy mood. As he straightened himself up once more, Seonghwa instinctively reached for the phone that was hidden in the pocket of his black trousers, hoping for any kind of distraction. Checking the time, messages, whether you had even seen his text about the maintenance people coming to check the plumbing next week… any sign that there was a world beyond his job. But the communication flatlined, and he resorted to simply staring at his lockscreen: a picture of the two of you during that one vacation that you had managed to book together. The one where, three days in, both of you had severe work withdrawal, but thankfully laughed it off and soothed the pain by falling asleep in each other’s arms. That was what he missed. The simple things. If there was one thing he wished for this Christmas, it was for you and him to spend it together - no one else, no pagers going off incessantly, no family members intruding on your time, not even friends. He missed you, even though you were right there. Of course, he still felt blessed to be able to embrace you almost every time you two would be floating into dreamland - be it in the morning or in the evening, aside from when shifts did not align, but he craved more, always. Maybe he was being greedy, wanting for even more of your time. Nonetheless, he hoped that his readiness to sacrifice all of his for you would, at some point, result in his most romantic dreams, akin to castles in the sky, coming true. He wished to well and truly build a life with you. Seonghwa had never thought that he would pay so much attention to labels, but something about settling down officially, being together ‘in sickness and in health’, as he had heard in the vows at his friends’ weddings, was leaving him in a state of longing, constantly, until it was a permanent buzzing in his head.

"So... Doctor Seong-nyah-" rudely tearing through his daydreams, a familiar voice startled the doctor, causing him to gasp and shove his mobile phone into his pocket with panicked haste.

"Wooyoung, don't test me, you are not my patient." Seonghwa gasped, and retorted with sudden venom, spinning to face the man who, evidently, had been loitering around in the corridor behind him for a lot longer than he would ever accept.

"But I want a sticker or a bandaid please~"

But the action only resulted in a stupor, as right there, hands in pockets, the ghost of a mischievous smile on perfectly tinted lips, was his favourite person. Doctor L/N Y/N, neurosurgeon, and definitely the one who had changed his brain wiring to short circuit every time he saw you. Before Wooyoung got any cheekier due to the lack of a response and the less than discreet gawking from Seonghwa’s end, he forced out a random commentary; anything to keep himself from going into cardiac arrest.

"You keep stealing my Disney princess ones anyways!?"

"Can't help it. Besides I've seen you snatch the toy sword so consider us even."

A light blush was threatening to coat his cheeks as he gazed at you, mesmerised by your cheerful reaction. Without a doubt you were imagining the scene, and had you been alone, would coo at ‘just how endearing’ it was. This was not the kind of ‘break between appointments’ that he was imagining, and while you were here, before him, very obviously free, Seonghwa was questioning whether this was a manifestation of luck or a curse.

"That was for safety… and… uh… hello my love.” he mumbled, while you smiled at him, and gave him a gentle wave, already anticipating that even if you were to speak, you would crack and reveal what you had been planning - a major step forward that had been plaguing your mind at almost all hours, even in rare snippets of quiet. Technically, what you had said to Seonghwa was true - it had been an operation, just of a different kind. Careful to not let the mandatory Santa hat you had tugged on your head as part of your department’s senior residents’ effort to ‘keep the spirits up’ slip, you adjusted it to be more snug, and rapidly returned your attention to your boyfriend, who was intently studying you, admiring every detail as though he had not seen each one a million times over.

"Y/N here found the dinosaur impression cute, just so you know." Stuck in a limbo between locking himself in his office and throttling Wooyoung to the ground, Seonghwa chose neither and was simply amazed at how you could remain so nonchalant.

"Were both of you… listening to the… but that is not-”

You and Wooyoung exchanged a knowing look, causing suspicion to rise in Seonghwa. He was not fond of it. Not in the slightest. There was something brewing, and that glint in your eyes was less than reassuring. What were you hiding from him? A million questions a second ran through his mind as he subjected you to scrutiny. First off, you had said that the surgery could be challenging. And yet he could not detect the slight furrowing in your brows, the slouch, the pursed lips that you normally had if you were monitoring a patient in critical condition.

"They were around the department, and I just so happen to know that you are a certified clown so..." Wooyoung began, purposefully winding the taller man up until he was ready to break the Hippocratic oath and cause harm.

"Says the person who can literally replace the fire alarm with his-"

“This is why you should follow my methods and do the whole ‘energy drink and coffee” cocktail before those ghostly long shifts, I tell you-” crossing his arms, Wooyoung appeared to be enjoying every moment he spent teasing his fellow colleague, ignoring how you were starting to get impatient, glancing down the corridor and back to the bickering friends.

“How even-”

"Well, I would more than like to consult the lovely, charming clown please, because I have a whole circus on my hands and need some help.”

That was all that was needed to regain all attention back. Seonghwa gave Wooyoung one last sidelong stare before focusing on you, attempting to figure out just what you were scheming. He knew better than to pry, however, if there was anyone in your relationship who was an expert in dissecting, be it literally or metaphorically, it would be you. That was exactly why he stood and waited with bated breath, fingertips dancing on his upper thigh. In trepidation, the young man’s mind replayed every shared moment with unfathomable clarity, leading him to wonder if this mischievous glint in your stunning orbs was further foreshadowing, much like your sudden announcement that you would be working the same hours as him today, and upon questioning passed it off as “a bit of Christmas luck”. 

“Right…” Wooyoung’s voice appeared distant, barely audible against the thrum of nervousness and lighthearted suspicion. Running a hand through his wavy, neatly parted long hair Seonghwa gave you a lopsided grin before following you down the corridor and giving his colleague an amiable wave, along with a cheerful call of “see you later”. His friend had the whole night ahead of them - much like you and Seonghwa. Except, unfortunately, you and your partner were floors, departments away. Not that far in the grand scheme of things, but far enough for Seonghwa’s heart to start hurting when he least expected it.

Just like now, despite you being within arm’s reach, the proximity reminded him of just how much of a luxury such moments were, and how, should anything go wrong, you would metaphorically evaporate. The beeping of a pager would be enough to make you or him leave, that damned device having to be strapped on and prioritised above everything else. As less and less time remained until Christmas, the probability of it going off climbed higher and higher, so every step was a risk, and every scheduled consultation or out-patient care call when Seonghwa was mandated to hand off his monitoring duties to another resident - a temporary salvation.

You were in your scrubs, and were sporting a standard issue doctor’s coat, ever so professional. Though your back was facing him, Seonghwa could easily imagine the identity card clipped to the pocket above your heart, along with the embroidered hospital name and emblem, and your department. Neurosurgery. The top of the top, an art and a science so complex that Seonghwa was in awe of you eternally. How you dedicated your life to the mystery behind a person’s eyes, and how you could heal the terrifyingly enigmatic organ with astounding success. Determined, passionate in all ways, that was what had drawn the enamoured man to you, and what had made him fall deeper and deeper and vow to stay for as long as you would allow him. Would you be fine with him tagging along, just like this? Would you be willing to walk in the same stride?

“Hwa,” turning your head, you exclaimed your boyfriend’s nickname and then turned back to scan your pass to let you both through to another corridor, “how has your day been so far, lovely?”

“It’s been good, not too bothersome. Last appointment was a vaccination - not sure how or why the literal holidays were chosen for this, but who am I to judge,” looking around, Seonghwa responded. Quickly, he caught up to you, and in a matter of moments you felt how his fingers intertwined with yours, and his palm was pressed against you, as though a mirror image. Jigsaw pieces falling into a perfect union, your hands, stilled in harmony. 

“Maybe not everyone wants to skip school,” you mused, poking fun at the times when your boyfriend did just that - at least before university and him choosing to major in medicine hit like a truck; in the blissful middle and high school days, so easy in retrospect - a fever dream. 

“I’d love to hear what the little patient would think about that one… but really, Christmas? Why would you run the risk of having side effects over Christmas?”

“That’s true… but I bet you made the appointment a really good time. In fact, from what I have heard I am sure you did,” you teased, making Seonghwa squeeze your hand and click his tongue in pretend annoyance.

“Hey, I’m trying my best here-”

“-and you are making the world a better place,” you cut him off, squeezing back and urging him on, closer and closer to your final destination. 

Seonghwa shook his head, bewildered at the sudden outburst of affection. You were normally not the kind to get too sappy at work - if anyone, it was him who would gush about the simplest things to you during a brief lunch break, while you would be nodding along with a grin on your face. You were excited about something, without a doubt. What it was, however, was beyond him, so he let you lead, while playfully questioning your behaviour.

“What’s gotten into you? Did you forget to put the plates back in the cupboard at home?” he squinted, slightly relieved when you chuckled but still left without a concrete answer:

“Can’t I praise the love of my life every once in a while?”

“You can, but-”

“-Besides, Yeosang, you know, my friend from paediatric neurosurgery, he said kids who you had treated talk about you non-stop. Maybe you should pay some of them a visit. If their treating doctors allow it, of course.”

Eyes widening, Seonghwa barely noticed you slipping away from him to grab a large bag you had stationed by a heavy exit door, and in bewilderment was concerned if he should believe your overwhelmingly kind message. All those little lives he had the honour of getting to know and trying his best to help… remembering him? It was at times like these, even the hardest days were worth it. For the present and for the future. He returned to reality only when he felt a gust of freezing cold air hit his form and goosebumps ran over his skin. Your proud, loving smile greeted him and encouraged him to walk on. When Seonghwa attempted to query your spontaneous adventurism, you waved it off - forward, only forward. Making a note of something fluffy in texture peeking out of the bag, he hoped for it to be at least a scarf; a doctor should know to not expose themselves to the risk of colds. 

You led Seonghwa to one of the many secluded areas of the hospital - forgotten by most staff, this portion of the roof was the prettiest at night, when the lights of surrounding high rises and the rest of the metropolis stretching out as far as the eye could see all glimmered like a blanket of stars laid down on the precious planet. The city, forever awake, bustling with activity. A hand brushed against his upper arm, and he turned his head to see you holding his coat that he swore he had left in the call room. Gingerly, the article was in his grasp, and yet another question was travelling for you to tackle:

“Now when did you get this? I know I did not just leave it lying around.”

“Mhm, call room. Coat hanger. By the door. I am very aware. I picked it up on the way.”

“Sounds like someone had a lot of time…” trailing off, Seonghwa put on the coat, watching as you did the same. Apparently, that was not all that was in the bag, and with each item that was revealed, his surprise grew and grew.

“Just enough to prepare a little something,” in one swift movement, you caught your boyfriend off guard with sudden Santa hat attack - nearly covering his eyes with the white fluff, previously styled hair shooting out in different directions from under the accessory, you still deemed the mission successful, and giggled, elaborating: “now, we match.”

He could not not love you. Much like the nights in December were dark and his exhales turned to steam that was to be whisked away by the wind, he was confident in the fact that he was born to love you, and only you. It was funny to think that years ago he thought of other kinds of forever, only for them to fall apart in months. Seonghwa mused about different realities, but was never afraid of losing them until inevitably happened; not because he did not care at all, but because his heart was never in the right place. Now that his heart was home, it was clear. Most of all, the clearest sign of the truth that belonged to your relationship, was the subconscious fear, continuous and blended into every note of adoration. It was in his love for you that he found what it meant to be afraid to lose. 

The young man did not want to lose these priceless moments - how you would make an elaborate plan and surprise him with it. How out of nowhere, before his very eyes was a blanket that you laid down on the roof, a portable heater that emitted a glow akin to that of a campfire, and a large wool throw that he assumed you wished to use to keep you both warm. That shine that he swore was coming from something heavenly within you as you dragged him to take a seat, your adorable cooing over him as you wrapped the two of you tight with the throw, and scooched until your body was pressed against his. On instinct, Seonghwa’s arm was around you, and he leaned in until he could smell the faint, comforting aroma of your strawberry shampoo. Staring into the heater, he imagined a gentle flame, falling into a beautiful daydream - a world where there was just you and him.

This was a long-standing fantasy of his, a picture of which he had painted for you many times while you counted stars on the ceiling of your bedroom, drifting off to sleep just before the chirping of the birds, the dawn bidding you farewell and wishing a good rest. Somewhere nowhere, in a place with no name, surrounded by no one and nothing, you two could stay for a little while and indulge in simplicity. An escape from the daily stresses, a dive into the daily bliss of being enamoured and having found one’s soulmate. In a little cottage that you two could rent out, with a little spot outside so you could pretend like you were properly camping, Seonghwa prayed for time in an earthly utopia. 

“I couldn’t find sticks, So I hope you are fireproof,” a marshmallow was held between two delicate fingers right before his eyes. A large, white cloud and a hint that you might have been listening a lot more intently than you had let on. 

“I- are we- are we about to be toasting marshmallows?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” the doctor followed your lead, stretching out his hand to the heater, imagining the marshmallow roast away; if Seonghwa were to squint hard enough, he could almost see the colour change.

A giggle escaped you, and you huddled into him, at peace due to the safety which you always said he naturally oozed. Without fail you told him how he was a walking spring day, a blessing, a shining star. The more you said it, the more confident he became in accepting the words as truth, and then, one day when he caught you admiring him from afar while waiting for him to finish rounds, acceptance turned into a fact. By loving you, and by letting you love him, Seonghwa learned to love himself. Thoughts of fond memories prompted him to give you a gentle poke, making you lift your head in perplexion. This, however, was quickly dispelled by a the sweetest kiss, deepened by a gentle hand that found purchase on the nape of your neck.

Lips so familiar, so addicting; each time they met was the kindling of a miniature paradise. A journey through time, to end only in the future, the present turned into a miracle in which he could immerse himself, all of his senses attuned to you. The touch of your lips was the rays of a sun in May, kind and soothing, blossoming into the finest beauty and the most satisfying serenity on verdant green leaves and gorgeous flowers. The only thing he could hear was the breeze creeping across the not quite as picturesque cement and metal, and the ghost of a mumble of “I love you” as you parted for air, still close enough to share it.

Lost in your eyes, Seonghwa wished he could never be found. He was willing to endlessly draw the maze that trapped him in them, adapting it to formulate a personal infinity. Eyelashes, eyebrows, nose, cheeks, lips, every blemish and freckle and scar were all priceless to him. You, in all your personal divinity, a universe that so intently studied him, loved every part unconditionally and invited him in to do the same. A symbiosis, a system of two stars orbiting one another - a gorgeous celestial waltz was how he saw you and him. Under the night sky full of constellations, you two were still the brightest. Seonghwa’s heart was full. He ever so softly let his hand slide to the side of your face, thumb gliding slowly over the skin of your cheek. Once, twice - perpetual motion, each one marking another second in which love grew stronger, and the yearning for his dream more intense. If only he could put it into words. And yet, courage only allowed him to muster a mere two which were far too general, ambiguous:

“Thank you.”

“I am glad we could do this,” you answered, sharing in his delight. You did not need anything else, seeing past the mellow, pleasant triviality.

“I think the only downside is that now I want to do this all the time,” his hand guided your head into the crook of his neck, so you could sit side by side, looking out into the urban expanse. Silence weighed on you, until a long-awaited suggestion reached Seonghwa’s ears.

“Well… we could. At least for Christmas.” 

“As if we will be taking days off, yeah.”

“Who says we won’t?”

“I- huh?” 

You took his hands in yours, and shuffled for you to be face to face. Much to your astonishment, when it came down to the critical moment when you would start being blatantly obvious in your intentions, you were not as anxious anymore. Everything felt more than right, and the comfortable quietude resembled the globe holding its breath for you. 

“I have an idea,” your boyfriend was intrigued, but doubtful. He had hopes, sure, but he knew better than to keep them up, “so… ahem, well, for us it is standard practice to not schedule anything major on holidays, just in case, and thankfully I could… reschedule some things…”

“Uh-huh,” he nodded along, raising his eyebrow. Your hands held his more tightly on their own accord, shaking a little as you spoke.

“Well, so, yeah, you know how the head of… the head of paediatrics is a big family person right?”

“Yeah, comes with the job I suppose, and?” tongue darting over his lips, Seonghwa began to sense what you were getting at, and he swore there was not enough oxygen to sustain him, and a dizziness settled over his mind, clouding it, leaving behind only you, you, you-

“Hm… well… I think they would be more than happy to let a new family celebrate together… yeah?”

“...Yeah…yeah?”

“So what I’m saying is-”

“Will you marry me?”

“Beat me to it,” gleaming, you pulled him in, stopping a mere few millimetres away, seeking approval.

Hints of tears welling in his deep brown eyes induced your own. Pressed forehead to forehead, you memorised every tiny detail, how you felt, how Seonghwa felt, how you were both fondly mumbling ‘yes's and ‘always’s and ‘I love you’s over and over again; vows uttered at the beginning of a new chapter of a miraculous life, in perfect harmony.

“I’m sorry for the ‘no ring’ situation-”

“I’d marry you with paper rings,” Seonghwa responded at the speed of light, quoting one of the many songs that both of you loved to listen to, and would blast in the living room many times over, “how did you even plan this-”

“Don’t bash me, but Wooyoung was an accomplice-”

“Of course he was,” he flicked your nose with his and guided you into another kiss, your hat sliding away and almost falling to the ground, saved only by Seonghwa’s reflexes. Smiling against your lips, he only deepened the sensual expression of devotion, parting simply to confess,

“To think we were rehearsing the same thing but I was too scared to say it.”

“You are too precious. And I’m sorry if I’m too scary, angel,” you winked, earning an amused, airy laugh.

This could not be the furthest from how Seonghwa felt; the notion of you terrifying him was hilarious. Everything but you was the issue. You were his safe haven, his clarity. The one to whom he had already given away all his hours, be it in closeness or in his dreams both in the day and night. You were his and he was yours, and now that the one change he had been begging all the goodness in the galaxy for finally happened, he wanted to shout this from every rooftop, starting from this fated, isolated spot that must have been made for just you two. 

“No, I am just more certain that you can read minds,” he gestured to the heater, the untouched marshmallows, the stars, and finally stopped at you, alluding to what was to be your proposal, turned mutual.

“Just because I poke around brains-” you began, only to be stopped by unparalleled cuteness in the form of a scrunched up face and a tiny smirk.

“Yeah, yeah, you aren’t even a cardiologist and you stole my heart-”

“Park Seonghwa, cease the flirting, we are getting married-” playfully, you slap his shoulder.

“Oh, you only saw the beginning,” a wiggle of the eyebrows. Your very soul fluttered at the sight of his megawatt grin, and the innocent peck left on your cheek.

“...I hope so,” your wish. To cherish the many sides, colours, shades, edges, angles of your spectacular Seonghwa.

“It’s decided. I’ll hit you with all the festive pick up lines starting tomorrow.”

As you settled back into an embrace, regarding the golden glow of your inner oasis that transposed onto all, previously dark, surroundings, you unwillingly played the role of the realist.

“Ask your department head first.”

“For a blessing?”

“No, silly, to confirm your freedom.”

“Yes, Doc’,” in jest, your fiance saluted you, and you wrapped your arms tighter around his waist, brushing your jaw against his shoulder.

“Page me after."

“I will page myself across the hospital to tell you.”

“Awh, my Seonghwa Claus and my present in one,” absent-mindedly, you reached for a stubborn strand of his hair to push away, and twirled it around your digits, careful to not ruin the perfect balance of the themed hat beneath which they tried to establish their own order, threatening to disturb your elated angel. 

“My future spouse- oh I’ll be saying this so often.” 

From one day to the next, under the sun and moon, with many seasons passing by, you became the time that you seeked and previously fought against. As you looked to one another for more and more in your lives, it was destined that eventually, the idea of any other path would be simply impossible. At the end of a year came a new beginning, witnessed by the observant stars and by the long winter night.

“Me too, my love, until I can call you my husband.”

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[iamfabiloz]

this is a very mentally ill request of me... however.... scourge thinking about quince mayhaps?

YEAAH!! Sorry this took me a bit I reread a million timez to make sure it’s okay I hope u like it scourge :]

The street lights flickered on and off like lazy fireflies, the warm glow lighting up the dull city streets. Stringy telephone pole wires quivered as pigeons clung to them, flapping their gray feathered wings to steady themselves. A few dim white lights burned from the inside of Twoleg structures, little spots of brightness among the gray. 

A cold wind ruffled the back of Scourge’s neck as he looked above at the pink dawn sky. Gloomy, gray clouds were beginning to form on the horizon, and the black tom could taste the humidity hanging in the air. Soon, rain would fall down upon the BloodClan cats and they would drink heartily, happy to have fresh, clean water instead of lapping from dirty puddles. He had instructed Bone and Brick to collect as much water as possible in garbage cans, and other Twoleg containers. His cats would need them in order to last them ‘til the next shower. 

The sound of Twoleg cars speeding and yowling interrupted his stream of thoughts. Scourge wrinkled his muzzle. Those things were quite infuriating. He didn’t mind when they rolled by occasionally on the stony gray road, but when multiple zoomed past they were always incredibly loud. They always would bumble about noisily, the Twolegs inside their bellies looking out through the glass windows with their hairless faces. 

The BloodClan leader stood perched upon the roof top of a tall brick building; it provided the best vantage point for Scourge to survey his territory. It also was a nice place to get away from everyone else, somewhere he could truly be alone with his thoughts. He gazed down at the narrow alley below him. 

Cats were shifting around in one of the dumpsters, picking at saggy black garbage bags for extra pickings. One skinny ginger tom hooked his claws into a bag’s corner and ripped at it fiercely. A stream of half-eaten chicken and rice spilled out at his feet. The tom and the other cats beside him greedily descended upon the food, hissing excitedly. Scourge twitched his ears, approving of his their resourcefulness. 

Suddenly, a tiny mewl sounded from below him. Scourge turned to look at where the source of the sound had come from.

A little black and white kitten was scampering along the sidewalk, crying pitifully out for its mother. The tiny tom didn’t look old enough to be on his own. Scourge tensed, ready to spring down and help the kit, but a gray she-cat suddenly burst from behind a corner and ran over to the lost child. She scooped him up in her jaws and purred reassuringly. The kit’s mother, Scourge thought, feeling something contort inside of his chest. Though he was quite a few feet away from the pair, he could see the cat’s smoky gray fur clearly. An unexpected pang jabbed at his heart.

It reminded him so much of…her. For a split second, an idiotic idea wormed its way into Scourge’s head. Maybe it was her. Maybe she had come looking for him? It could be possible. 

But then the she-cat turned her head and Scourge’s fragile hopes sank. 

The she-cat had a completely different face; her nose bridge was thinner, one of her ears had a pale scar on the inside, and she had a small white spot on her muzzle. 

It wasn’t her. It wasn’t his Mama. 

The she-cat then turned the corner again, disappearing from view with her kitten. Her gray tail whisked around the block and Scourge shut his eyes tight, almost painfully so. Another gust of wind brushed his dark fur.  

He missed his mother. He missed Mama. 

He thought of her warm gray pelt and amber eyes that sparkled lovingly. He thought of her licking his scruffy head soothingly when Socks and Ruby had played too roughly with him. He thought of the soft nest he had shared with her, the Twoleg blankets velvety beneath his paws. He thought about rolling around in the backyard grass with her, the wooden fence looming overhead.

She had been the only cat who had truly cared for him when he was young. The only one who had comforted him when he felt down about his littermates. The only cat he trusted with his life. 

The memories of his kithood were all drenched in misery, all expect for his beloved Mama. She was the bright spot he kept coming back to, no matter how hard he tried to move past her and focus on his vengeful future. Her words kept echoing inside his head. 

Those savages are a scourge on the name of all good cats.

Scourge shook out his fur like he was shaking out a flea. 

Would she be proud of me now? For leading BloodClan? For killing the cats I’ve had to in order to keep the peace? Scourge wondered, heaving a low sigh. Or would she think I’m a brutish savage? Scourge hissed quietly, scraping his reinforced claws on the stone beneath him. I mustn’t think like that. She isn’t here to see how my life has turned out. Her opinion on what I’ve become doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t. 

But despite Scourge repeating the thought in his mind countless times, he still felt a trickle of doubt. Anger stirred deep within his belly and he stared hard at the  brick wall across from him, trying to distract himself from his immature uncertainty. The cats who had feasted upon the chicken and rice were curled up in the bins, bellies full from a good meal. Scourge tried to force himself to feel an inkling of satisfaction, but nothing but emptiness squeezed his his insides. He sighed unpleasantly and finally let his prying thoughts win, but only for a moment.

Despite being a full grown tom and leader of a an alley full of strong, scrappy stray cats, whom he had worked so hard to build up, a small part of him, bigger than he’d like to admit, longed to be a kit again. To be Quince’s little son again. To be Tiny. He thought of the possible timeline where he wouldn’t have been thrown in the river by the Twolegs if he stayed. He would have grown up with Mama all to himself, with no Socks or Ruby to bully and berate him. No littermates meant that Quince would never like them more than him, she would love him, only. 

Being a kittypet would mean never going hungry, never feeling the chill of winter against his fur, never having to worry about all the things he did now as an outdoor feline. He thought about curling up in a fluffy kittypet nest, Mama grooming his pelt like he was a kitten again and telling him that it was all going to be okay. 

A guttural growl rumbled deep inside his throat, but he kept on imagining fake scenarios after fake scenario in his mind. 

Play fighting in the garden. Looking out the window of the Twoleg den at the world outside. Eating bowls of kitty kibble and drinking creamy milk. Basking in the sunlight beaming from the open window, Quince chortling as the exposure turned his black fur a shade ginger. 

Mama and him napping near the fireplace, their pelts warmed by the flickering orange flames. 

He would’ve lived a soft life, a happy life with his dear mother. 

Would it be worth it? Scourge mused, flicking his tail uneasily. The kitten that had once been Tiny, mewed a resounding yes. But adult Scourge frowned deeply and shook his head. 

No, he thought. He could never go back to that life. It wasn’t possible, it could never be. I don’t want it now anyways, Scourge thought, trying to reassure himself. I wouldn’t be the cat I am now if I had stayed. I wouldn’t be me. Without all the hurt and hardship I’ve endured…I would still be Tiny. 

He wasn’t that meek little kitten anymore. He was Scourge, feared leader of BloodClan and son to no one. All he had was himself and his cats now. Bone and Brick were his loyal lieutenants and he had a place here with them. He couldn’t just throw it all away to live a day dream. He still had plans to complete, orders to give out. He had a duty to himself and to all his cats in the alley. 

Quince had been part of his past life, the one that didn’t exist anymore. Though a minuscule part of him would always want to be a kittypet again and live a comfortable life with his Mama, he knew it was a foolish fantasy, one that would never be fulfilled. There was no use dwelling on it now, it would only slow him down. Though he reassured himself of that fact, his heart twisted with misplaced emotion, and he struggled to push it down again. 

The Twoleg cars along the street honked and beeped in booming unison, drowning out any further thoughts on the matter, and for once, Scourge was grateful for it. 

[crispyjenkins]

For the I wish you would meme: Cerasi, Nield and Obi-wan being the Triumvirate of Melidaan and absolutely fucking every single one of Friendpatine's plans (maybe Jangobi also, because I am weak for those two when you write them)?

oh gosh oh gosh y’all know i love me my melida/daan aus, and these three as an accidentally hyper-competent triumvirate is my everything

so i’m thinking

they’re still kids. obi’s what, 14 during the civil war? for whatever reason, the jedi can’t send help, cerasi and obi-wan have to deal with nield’s power trip on their own but they make it work and divvy up the control of the planet (i’m attached to the idea that cerasi renames the planet Tahl for Reasons™) and start reaching out to other planets for trade and such

obi is the baby of the triumvirate, but has the most diplomatic experience from his lessons in the temple and his one year with qui-gon, annnnd maybe they want to hire a mandalorian commando as guard detail so obi-wan doesn’t get himself killed on the way to coruscant to officially rejoin the medlidaan system with the republic.

now obviously since i’m having them all so young, let’s slash that age difference down to two or three years? so obi-wan is 15/16 from a planet still recovering from centuries of war and famine, and obi-wan is still recovering from leaving the order and is a little frazzled and doesn’t look much like a planetary delegate/senator

but jango, fresh off escaping slavery and getting his armor back, just wants to get through this job so he can go track down jaster’s old ship

hmm i like to think the fucking of friendpatine’s plans is accidental at first, just nield making alliances he hadn’t counted on, cerasi reaching out to financially help the jedi order become less dependent on the senate in exchange for help settling the rest of the planet into the new government. it’s obi-wan joining committees in the senate that push for laws and movements that make it that much harder for palpatine to make his plans work

(maybe naboo is an early alliance with the triumvirate, which would affect the queen before padme who palps influenced into taking fewer and fewer imports which left them especially vulnerable when the trade federation invaded, maybe palpatine doesn’t even make it to senator lmao)

anyways jango sticks around for a little while, ‘cause there have been four attempts on obi-wan’s life already and when jango takes a job, he does it right. does this influence him to rethink mand’alor? mayhaps (˘ ◡  ˘ღ) 

did i turn this into a giant excuse for a bodyguard au? mayhaps (ﾟ◡ ﾟღ)

(also i keep rereading this cause the “when you write them” makes my heart spin ahhh thank you 🧡 sorry this took so long!)

[emfisketch]

curlycupgumweed replied to your post“So I read through Song of Achilles and I have so...”

Share them, mayhaps?

Okay!

*Spoilers for The Song of Achilles ahead*

(please keep in mind I was unaware of the legend before reading this book so I had no context prior to this telling of the story)

My initial opinion of Patroclus and Achilles's relationship towards the beginning of the book was similar to that between Gatsby and Nick. During Patroclus's stay in King Peleus's house I thought we were following along in the background to witness Achillies's great feats from afar. It was strongly clarified not much longer after I thought this that their relationship was not that. A welcome correction since I was unfamiliar with their story in the first place lol!

Another welcomed realization was that I caught on to way too late (probably because I'm not well read) was that when they referred to gods and nymphs and such, they're actually real within the context of the world. I felt kind of silly when all of the sudden it hit me that the gods were not just religious figures, but actual tangible people who came down from Olympus to have their fun with humans and make babies… whoops.

The boys obviously first meet when they're very young, and again more seriously when they're a little bit older. I really liked seeing Patroclus's growth, but I can't say I saw the same growth in Achilles. It may just be a part of being a demigod, but Achilles's pride getting the better of him was really surprising to me. I can't tell if that's this book's way of painting him or if we simply needed to stay on course with the original legend. I have this feeling a few other places in the story as well.

I'm still at odds with the constant reminders throughout that Patroclus is only valued in his relation to Achilles. Patroclus is literally buried with Achilles and is denied passage to Hades because Pyrrhus won't accept him. (ooooh I was so mad at that part lol) The author gives us a window into how he is strong in ways outside of his relationship through his expertise of medicines and his surgical capabilities. This feels like only a quick side tale that distracts from the overall story in my opinion. I like that he has this type of agency and legacy, but it seems a almost like an afterthought and doesn't play into the overarching narrative.

I don't know how much liberty should be allowed to stretch the original legend in order to make things within this retelling stronger, but overall I think the author made the right choice.

I really liked this book after not having read much the last handful of years and will definitely be rereading soon.

So I read through Song of Achilles and I have so many Thoughts

[washymylifeaway]

Haikyuu SakuAtsu fanfic recs: series edition ;)

ALRIGHT LOVES, BUCKLE UP! IM FORCING MYSELF TO FIND MOTIVATION LOL

As I was making that cursed SakuAtsu fanfic rec post (it really is cursed, but it’ll get done eventually cause I do love the SakuAtsu too much, when tho? only god know LOL), I decided that if I’m gonna finish it, imma have to break it up. SO that’s why this is our lovely series edition post LOL. Originally, it WAS writers, tags, series, then single fics BUT I decided to scrap tags and even then I was like it’s too long..... And so, this post materialized LOL (mayhaps writers next? who knows anymore cause I certainly don’t LOL). These are ONLY some of the series that I absolutely adore, and I say some because 1) the tag is literally like 4k fics long and I was on like page 20 something and I have SO many tabs open rn for SakuAtsu, so chances are I missed one or five LOL :’((((( and 2) my ao3 account hasn’t been made yet (should’ve done this a looooooong time ago) and so I don’t have them all saved anywhere :( (these just sound like excuses LMFAO) So these are just the ones I saw and was like OOP I LOVE and then added LOL (and so they’re in no particular order hehe). I also didn’t *** any of them cause they’re all so freakin good and even if you randomly chose one, you will not be disappointed.

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for series and each individual fic before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

I would also be more careful cause there are a lot more TW in these fics than other ships!

Terminal Curiosity by favspacetwink, moonlumie (E) // CHECK WARINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES!!! this is one of the BEST series I’ve read for this ship and even though I tend not to read WIP, IT’S WORTH IT! Please read ALL the tags before going into any of the fics in this series because there’s some real spicy stuff that may not be your cup of tea!

your highs and lows by astroeulogy (T,M,E) // this fic made me go on a roller coaster of feels from start to (tentative) finish :))) It’s great and I love it AHHHHH The progression in their relationship is just so ajfkjsf, and I just adore how Atsumu just broke(?) during that first fic and the number of double takes he did, v relatable LOL.

Different Kinds of Dysfunctional by DeathBelle (T,E) // I LOVE the entrance to this fic and how it flowed so well. I think Atsumu is characterized really well throughout this series (I could totally see Atsumu bringing the same thing up over and over again LOL), and his development was done beautifully (You just want to make me say it.,,, Kinda, yeah.). I really freakin love this series so please go ahead and read it don’t be shy hehehe.

we call everything on the ice, "love" by awkwardedgeworth (T) // I LOVE this fic omg,,, it’s in series, but it’s only two fics LOL... Anyway, Notte Stellata is one of my favorite SakuAtsu fics and I have reread it way TOO many times and the fanpage fic IS SO AMAZING (AND FUNNY ASF PLS). I really love ice skating AU’s too so this really made this ‘series’ all the more better <333333

know you better & related stories by theglitterati (T,M,E) // this is definitely one of the best relationship development series I’ve read, I love it so much! It really touches all the bases, and the progression is just SO good. It really is the fic version of the get along shirt, extended edition LOL.

flutterbird (a collection of sakuatsu one-shots) by wordstruck (T,M,E) // this series is such an easy pick up because it’s a bunch of one-shots (esp. if you’re not into smut cause there is some), BUT all of them are def worth a read. Personally, the third one, the sakusa kiyoomi listography, is my favorite (cause imma sucker for Sakusa), but that’s just personal preference hehe :)

Atsumu + Sakusa + The National = ? by isaksara (syailendra) (T,M) // this is another stand alone fic series but with AUs :D I don’t even know like most (ie. all) of the references (LMFAO), but I still read all of them LOL. Again, a personal favorite (without any references LOL) is the second one, famous angels (never come through england), it’s really funny and good and I just love it okay?

Better For Us Both by abrandnewheart (M) // (this was CP from my angst fic rec post LOL tho it is slightly edited cause istg my writing style changes every post LOL) THE MUG FIC. There is a sequel and when I saw it, it took me another week to read it cause I was like,,, am I ready to have my heart break again? No LOL. But the sequel is actually not as angst (but there’s still angst), so if you want to be like semi-broken or whatever, just read the sequel LOL (also it’s Sakusa POV HEHE). It’s so sad and it made me physically hurt every time someone even mentioned mugs afterwards (LOL why am I so dramatic but it’s the truth :///). Go ahead and hurt with me. You should read it even if you don’t like angst because you know what they say, no pain no gain :’)

parallax error: angle of inclination by min_mintobe (T) // okay so technically this ‘isn’t a series’, but it is two fic that are related, and what is that if not A SERIES :DDDDD Anyway, I really love this fic enough that I would find loopholes in my own dang post to recommend it LOL. I really love the service ace bet between Sakusa and Atsumu (I do think it is a superior headcannon (it’s hc right?)) but I also love what’s left unsaid by both in each other’s POVs hehe. If you want to go straight to Sakusa’s POV (cause their different POVs of the same fic), here it is parallax error: line of sight. You can read either first, but I recommend you read both eventually :)

to make any other mistake by honeymilktea (rosevtea) (T) // I, myself, am a very big fan of college Haikyuu (tho idk if it seems like that LOL), and this fic is very much up my alley hehe. I really like the idea that they are both TA’s and that Atsumu would totally bribe Sakusa into fake dating him as well as Sakusa wearing his brightest outfits to spite Atsumu.

How Do You Know? by awkwardedgeworth (T) // these fics are both so funny omg. The google search histories, the trial and error, and just everything in these two fics gives me so much dopamine LOL. There’s one POV for both end of the ship, though their tragedies are slightly different.

the human disaster chronicles by firtree (G,T) // is this another Atsumu gay panic fic? Yes, yes it is and I have absolutely no shame in recommending it hehe. I realllllllly like this fic and Atsumu having a break down cause Sakusa didn’t follow his routine? It is the move. Anyway, pls read this series cause like the title suggests, it really is a disaster (but at least there’s love right? LOL).

I Love You (Though it's Inadvisable) by Anubis_2701 (T) // okay the series itself is a wip (as in only one fic for now LOL), but the fic is so good, I couldn’t leave it off :))))) First, I do love a good soulmate AU and although I’m not a big fan on the body switching AUs, THIS one was SO good!!! It gets really cheesy and fluff at the end, but the beginning of this fic was just so immaculate, that we’re gonna ignore how much the ending made me want to stick my head into a hole (cause it was so FLUFF OMG).

The Germaphobe and the Asshole by metaandpotatoes (T,E) // so this series is also actually a WIP, but it’s okay I only read the first and the last one anyway cause they’re basically stand alone’s LOL. This series focuses a lot on Sakusa’s mysophobia, so if you’re not a fan of the hc, you should prolly pass hehe. TBH, my favorite is the third one, Avoidance Behavior, but that’s mainly cause I really like SunaOsa and I love the brother bond in it!

you are the cause of my euphoria by SugarHighs (T) // ajsfljksadhjkdfk is my first thoughts while reading this series cause ATSUMU WOULD. He would start posting thirst trap pics (which really reminded me of Wonho) in order to prove he was the most good looking member of MSBY. Tho, we do love the clowning of one Sakusa Kiyoomi, as done in the third fic (PLEASE NUMBER 17 AND Cheezel). Even if you can’t get yourself to read the other fics, read the third one, 5 Ways To Tell If The Person You're Dating Is The One, for the free serotonin boost plsplspls.

'basis' - noun. the underlying foundation for an idea or process. by auvelli (T) // like I said, college AU is a great AU, love it. This one, I do love indeed. We do stan having microwaves and mini fridges hehe. I support the ramen endeavors but oatmeal is gross, I said what I said. Anyway, I love the tags in the second fic, so even if you don’t end up reading it, read the tags,,,, they’re funny okay?

and i press you to the pages of my heart by volchitsae (T) // I LOVE THIS ONE, teehee again the college AU makes another appearance LOL. I REALLY love this writer, and this one is so funny but cute at the same time. It’s another two POV fic, but you’ll want to read this one in order hehe. Again, the ending is so FLUFF, that my head wanted to take a visit to the underground BUT ITS OKAY.

affection and acid reflux by volchitsae (T) // so the first fic is ~angst~ but IT GETS BETTER OKAY, happy endings. HAPPY ENDINGS. Anyway, there’s some really cute Sakusa in this one (esp. when he talks to the boy at the village LOVE HIM) and a healthy amount of angst as well. I really like this fic and guess what it is? Say it with me, COLLEGE AU LOL.

how big the hourglass, how deep the sand by volchitsae (E) // did I just recommend the same writer three times in a row? Yup and I think that says something LOL (tbh I like some of their stand alone fics more tho LMFAO but that doesn’t mean these series are bad nononono not at ALL (this sounded sarcastic but that was not the intention LOL)). This one is ~magical~ (v literally) and has some kinky stuff (holy water ftw) in it, so tread carefully :) I would make sure to read the tags before each one because it gets kinda steamy LOL.

^^ if I had to choose between these three, I liked and i press you to the pages of my heart the most just cause the plot was my type LOL. But they’re all good hehe.

a study on you(th) and reverie by sieges (G,T) // this series is such a sad series :( The first two are the only SakuAtsu but the third one is an angst Osamu one so there’s that LOL (and ofc the fourth one is KuniYama (is that their ship name idk)) But the first one is a moving on fic (which I liked) and the second is like basically a fake break up (which I liked more LOL) and both have some nice shares of angst and fluff so choose your battles wisely (or just read both LOL).

Burden of Blame by DeathBelle (E) // CHECK WARINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES!!! ah yes, the mafia fic LOL. I REALLY LOVE THIS FIC. I felt so bad for Atsumu the entire fic and yes it is, ATSUMU BEST BOY time. Did I really just recommend this series AGAIN for the THIRD TIME in THREE SEPARATE POSTS? Apparently LMFAO I didn’t even know TBH LOL. I just really like this one,,,,,, okay? But pls Atsumu just here for the ride man cause he BEST BOY. Anyway, if you want to see my other comments of this fic that I forgot I did links here :D (links and here are two separate links to two separate posts LOL).

OKAY so that’s most of the series that I saw and was like gotta put this here LOL. And do you see how long this is (I know I’m missing so many series I like istg when I find them later imma cry or just make another post LOL).... Can you imagine how long my actual fic fic one is LOL (i’m not kidding tho it’s so long I might just do fics with their actual summaries instead of adding my invalid, piss poor reviews :/). Ugh the more I think about it, the more I lose motivation to finish LMFAO, so imma go be no thoughts head empty, but I hope you enjoyed reading these series! I love SakuAtsu SO much, so there’s lots more to come (is that good or bad idek). I know I was kinda lazy on the warnings (my bad), so I hope you all were attentive and made sure to check before reading! Also if there are any errors, send me a message/ask! PLS, they’re v embarrassing LOL. (Also tell me if I forget to cap my I’s bc I do that sometimes and I can’t tell cause of the font LMFAO.) The way my posts get slightly more chaotic every time I post LOL.

[mscalifornication]

Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

@longlive-allthememories thank you so much for tagging me <3

MUSIC

fav genre? pop/pop-rock/rock/pop punk/indie/alternative

fav artist? Casper

fav song? gonna go with Diamond On A Landmine by Billy Talent today

most listened song recently? according to my last.fm my top track of the past 7 days is Pretender by The Maine

song currently stuck in your head? Morirò Da Re by Måneskin

5 fav lyrics? (5 fav lyrics i can think of right now/ ones i can find in my current bujo lol)

i’m not looking to be found, just want to feel unlost — (un)lost by the maine

give me a remedy cause my head wasn’t wired for this world — avalanche by bring me the horizon

i’m growing up but i’m still young at heart, how do i make time stop? cause i’m still waiting to start — still waiting to start by nina nesbitt

and if i’ve done you wrong by not enduring this pain / well, where were you and all your eternal holy grace? — nomoreroses by holding absence

i want the fireworks i want the softest words i want what you deserve and to unlearn my hurt — crying over it all by waterparks

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? rom-com stuff i guess, and thrillers, sometimes also sci-fi/dystopia stuff

fav writer? i don’t really have one, but so far i’ve enjoyed several books by sebastian fitzek and becky albertalli

fav book? currently still Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall which i’ve read back in January

fav book series? i’ve only read 3 book series in my life, two of them before the age of 16 so i’m not sure if one of them is an actual fav, maybe actually Twilight?! yeah

comfort book? i don’t have one

perfect book to read on a rainy day? boyfriend material??

fav characters? i…don’t have favourite book characters i think? never really thought about it

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? i don’t know any quotes by heart

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator (idk? i’ve never paid attention to it) | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? (romantic) comedy, drama, thriller, crime

fav movie? idk? i’ve always liked notting hill

comfort movie? spider-man: homecoming and the winter soldier

movie you watch every year? theres no specific movie i watch every year :/

fav tv show? at the moment still 911 and 911 lone star my beloved

comfort tv show? schitt’s creek, full house, 911, 911 lone star, brooklyn nine nine

most rewatched tv show? schitt’s creek

ultimate otp? i don’t have one? Tarlos mayhaps?

5 fav characters? Alexis Rose (Schitt’s Creek), Abby Sciuto (NCIS), Kat Edison (The Bold Type), Travis Montgomery (and Vic Hughes) (Station 19), Bucky Barnes (MCU) this is a very random collection, i literally had to look up previous tag games to make this lol bye

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging |one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

i’m tagging @kaonoppakaos @awayfromsight @briannabaker @quelsentiment @whaleharry @herefortommo @spacerhapsody @holyshit @talkfastcal @counttoinfinityy @plastic--hearts @whatevertearsyou @iamnathanscott @chironmybeloved feel free to ignore this!!

[fatoujallovv]

fanfiction writer appreciation: skamverse edition

thank you @yasminaselamrani for starting this lil tag 🥺 i read and write elu so that’s what you’re in for here but i’m sending a kiss on the forehead to any writer or reader of anything for being the best 🥺💛

if you’re a writer:

a fic that you’re really proud of:

i know i’m sitting here while i haven’t even finished the fic but close to you just makes me really happy 🥺 it’s obviously not oscar winning movie adaptation worthy in the slightest but i think it’s turned out to be a really fun story and i’ve enjoyed writing it and messing around with social media 🤪

a fic that you were nervous to post:

my lil mental health oneshots rotten work and not to me, not if it’s you (incredibly original titles i know skfjfj) were literally . an excuse for a cathartic feelings dump via my emotional support projection character monsieur lucas lallemant and i felt like i was being to dramatic or insensitive or portraying things badly (even though it was literally my own experiences adskljg idk don’t ask what i was thinking) or being too personal so i was kind of nervous 🥺 but i got a lovely response and being able to share them was really healing for me so i’m so glad i did it 🥺

a fic you wished got more hits/kudos/comments:

i’m super happy with every bit of response i’ve gotten from my writing 🥺 i love all of my comments so so much and all i want to use this space for is to say thank you guys for being the best 🥺

one of your favorite tropes to write:

i think it’s obvious that it’s childhood best friends because both of my chaptered fics have been that sjdjfjsj but i also love myself some fake dating hence my current best friends fake dating au akdjfj

another ship that you don’t write but you’d like to write:

i wish i could write kieutou but i struggle to relate to kieu my’s perspective to be able to write her from an honest and accurate place bc as much as i adore her she is so so different from me and i feel like i can’t get in her head 🤧🤧

one of your abandoned wip you never wrote but wish you did:

i only ever abandoned one thing and it was gonna be a long oneshot where they met in the laundry room of their dorm and then dumbassery ensued and it was gonna be very silly but then i forgot about it so akdjfj mayhaps i should return to her this summer if i have the time

another writer you would love to collaborate with:

@luxandobscurus @lucasotteli and i have literally. planned to collab before and just never made it happen .... besties let’s get on that summer 2021

i would LOVE to do some sort of sm au or something with a cool unique format with miss @vexedtonightmares the queen of sm and galaxy brain concepts!!!!! i would basically be dead weight but i would be like beyond honored to assist her in making magic with her big beautiful brain

if you’re a reader:

a fic (or more) that you love to reread:

i looooove rereading if i can recognize real by @tawmlinsun (i’m linking part two i think oops) i have said it before but it gives me butterflies every time it is the peeeeerfect lil first kiss/getting together fic omg omg

the reread value of all mixed up by @lucasotteli and online love by @vexedtonightmares !!!!! unmatched !!!!! social media au supremacy lichrally go tos when i need a Laff

tag an author you always love reading:

@clairdelalune i know ur movin away from the fandom queen so soz to bring u into this but everything you’ve ever written makes me happy 🥺🥺 ur style and vibes are so . good and heartwarming

@lumierelovers is just an absolutely gorgeous writer and everything she touches is magical 🥺

recommend a story to your followers:

i will recommend lots 😌 (vaguely in order of length from like 1k to like 100k+)

when you kill the lights (and kiss my eyes) by @blanxkey (zaira i frickin miss u pls write more pure poetry 🤧)

thoughts of you aren’t enough by cgsf on ao3 (i think they might be on tumblr but it didn’t let me tag 😔)

open your heart (and let me know you want me here) by @demaury

save us by @luxandobscurus

last dance by @vexedtonightmares (i linked the chap 2 post bc it has the ao3 link but 😌)

maybe it starts now by @lepetitepeach (first part of the series is linked on ao3 bc i don’t think there’s a ficpost)

tag an author you discovered recently:

@fireflysxx is kinda new to writing and i’m so proud of herrrrrr 🤧🤧🤧 i would like to direct your attention to the fic she wrote for me about eliott basically being grumpy lucas’s personal shopper for the day akdjdh: new style

spread the love!

tag someone who inspires you to write:

@yasminaselamrani you literally never stop like i am so impressed you just always have new stories to tell i admire that so much even if i don’t read wtfock i’m sorry 🤧🤧🤧

tag someone who you’ve admired forever:

i don’t want to bother people and i feel like many of the people i’ve had longstanding Big Admiration for i already tagged or isn’t really here anymore 🥺 so just like . everyone i’ve mentioned i admire so much? that’s cheating but idc

tag your writing support:

@luxandobscurus and @lucasotteli the only ones who care as much about elu in 2021 as me and i don’t feel guilty making them help me with my fics KAJDJDJD and @fireflysxx my biggest cheerleader and self proclaimed number one fan you’re always there wanting to see what i’ve made and it’s so encouraging 🥺💛 also @thenerd10 bc u always leave me the sweetest comments EVER and you literally singlehandedly make posting worth it 🤧🤧💛💓💗💓

ok i’m tagging everyone i mentioned 🥺 and i would tag more people but i haven’t seen a lot of my writer friends around in a while and i don’t want to be bothering anyone so please just do this if you see it and want to!!!

[yeosangs-horizon]

[9:09] -> Letters

The morning rays of sunshine hit your face as you curled up in your couch, lounging around watching television until something interesting would call your attention. You let out an audible yawn before flipping the channel after realizing that watching the news would only put a damper on your mood. 

It wasn’t until the second time that the round of knocks made an appearance at your door that your eyes gazed from the flashing screen to your wooden door. Heaving yourself off of the couch, you sluggishly made your way to the front of your house to take a peek at who wanted to captivate your attention. 

Sticking your eye directly on the peephole, you looked left and right but saw nobody. Was it some rowdy ding-dong-ditcher kid, or mayhaps it was a package that you had ordered. You swung the hefty barrier open and looked down. A little adorable pup had a letter for you in his mouth. A smile instantly grew on your face as you bent down and took the letter from him while ruffling his head. 

“Good boy Wick.” you praised as you fixed your posture to open up the letter. 

Wick was the dog of your best friend Victor. You guys had known each other for years at that point and you’d considered Wick to be your dog too since you’d spent so much time with one another, just the three of you guys. Victor could go quiet though, there have been days or weeks when you wouldn’t hear from him and one peculiar thing about him was that he’d love to communicate by writing, much more than voice. Nevertheless you did find him adorable and he made your heart skip a beat anytime he would write something sweet to you. 

Opening up the handwritten note, your eyes began to dart across the page. Unbeknownst to you, being so enticed by the letter, you failed to hear the footsteps that dragged to your front porch and came to a halt in front of you as you were gazing at the message. 

“(Y/N), sorry for going quiet once again but I just had a compulsion to write to you and tell you what’s in my mind and in my heart. I’ve never had a passion for communication much less face to face. You’re the only one whose been able to sway that and I haven’t been able to get you off of my mind. I know I’d be bad with words if I used my voice to confess this to you, but to sum it up, I love you (Y/N). You’ve made me see the light in the world and that trust can be real, so in turn, let me give that back to you for as long as you’d like.” 

Your heart swelled as you reread the lines over and over. Your heart was racing and practically beat out of your chest as if the hunter was nearby. Your eyes shifted up from your letter and saw his blonde locks that meshed with his red outfit and a cheeky smile with dusted pink cheeks. 

You felt your body move on its own as you were engulfed by the arms of your lover. You felt him bury his face in the crook of your neck as he held onto you tightly. Pulling away, you lifted your hand and caressed his cheek, placing a kiss on his flushed pink cheek. 

“I love you too, my postman.”