#maybe we just have different styles man. maybe i like little 'unnecessary' details. you do you tho.

[snekdood]

Ppl who think giving your all and focusing on miniscule details are perfectionism are lame. Personally, my favorite part of drawing is all the tiny details that dont matter maybe to people like you but will appeal to ppl like me who like to get lost in paintings.

[kindaoptimisticsquirrel]

Trigun Bookclub Vol1 Ch4-5

Thoughts on ch4-5 below!

Previous review

This is just a panel that I liked, because of the idea of using props as graphic image elements (there must be a specific english term for what I’m trying to say). Like the pipe here! I just think it’s purely to make the image more interesting, maybe give some depth, since it creates a distinction between fore- and background. Nice!

In the span of two pages, Vash as seen to the left was really quick to eat...4, 5 sandwiches?? This boy is still growing it seems.

There’s noting super special to mention about this page apart from me again admiring Nightow’s paneling style. It is a pretty simple page layout, but that’s what I love about it! It’s simple, it’s easy to read, and most importantly, it’s not crammed with stuff that’s unnecessary and would just make it more complicated. Like, I also love other series that use detailed backgrounds and I’m a big fan of Inio Asano’s work “Dead Dead Demon’s Dedede Destruction” (google it, it’s the complete opposite) BUT there’s a certain skill to being able to simplify. To simplify, but make it interesting nonetheless! And we’ll see that Nightow is a master at that, because just have a look at his silhouettes and shapes!! Oh man I will be unstoppably in my adoration once we get to Trimax Wolfwood, he’s got the best shapes.

Hehe and I also love the backgrounds in this series. Look at these two house shapes! He could’ve just drawn them like two parallel blocks, but no there’s some diagonal lines, and even some whitespace beneath where the houses nearly connect at the top! And that I say nearly connect is also important, because often in drawings you don’t want lines to accidentally touch each other or the frame, as this is just giving that part of the image more focus that you might not want there. So either leave enough white space between it or just go completely through with it. (example maybe to show what I mean: on the left, Kaite’s hair doesn’t tough the frame border on the right. It is close, but still far enough away that you can connect the dark background as one element. His hair above on the other hand does cross the border of the panel...well not by much, but it works. I should probably give better examples but I hope you get what I mean?)

As the red text says: Look at that freaking beautiful panel to the right. DAMN that’s art. (ok well I wrote one image above smth about elements touching the frame and here the sandsteamer is really close to the frame on the left so I DO wonder if it would look even better if you moved it slightly to the right?

Does it make a difference? I’m really not sure. Anyway, moving on)

I love how Milly is unintentionally really deceptive!

This is just too cute! Look how happy Vash looks now that the child is eating! Letting out a little sigh of relief <:)

Kudos to that first panel for accentuating perfectly what is being said. Yes, it is very dark out there. Neither the characters nor the reader has any idea what might be hiding in the dark because it’s just A WHOLE PANEL MADE OF DARKNESS. And it needs that much black space! Again, wouldn’t have nearly as much impact if id would have just shown one of their faces looking outside while saying this.

Love this page for the flow, the dynamic. Also look how neatly foreground (BL gang) and background (sandsteamer) are distinguished from each other because of their differenct brightness! (all in all we have 3 neatly seperated layers: foreground with the cars, the middle which moves further away for the reader because it’s darker with the sandsteamer and then the background, which is just pitch black, so it’s aaaall the way in the back)

Loving their comic relief energy in the first volume :D

Spoilers so skip if you don’t want to read this:

Rem! Sniff! It is so dear to me that Vash misses his mother so much, and in his mind and dreams sometimes wanders back to her. He’s old, but in his heart, still a hurt and lost boy who’s all alone, missing the comfort of another person he could open up to. I like the fact that they are both laying in a grass field, something Vash probably never even experienced? I wonder if Rem told him about picnics. Maybe they made plans to have picnics, all three of them together, once they arrived on this new world...SOBS

[keanureevesisbae]

But professor… - c.3

Summary: Penny goes to Walter's loft, so he could help her out with some school assignments

Professor!Walter Marshall x Penny Townsend (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 3.3k

Warnings: None

Masterlist // But professor… masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

Walter and I agreed that he would pick me up from the train station nearby and when I near the vacant parking lot, I can already see him waiting in his truck. He holds up his hand, a sign that he saw me too and I hurry towards the enormous vehicle. I barely see trucks this large here in New York, making me assume he actually brought this with him from Minnesota. Maybe he even moved here with this thing, the trunk stuffed with his belongings.

Though I highly believe this man actually didn’t bring a lot of stuff with him. He doesn’t seem like the type to be very materialistic.

When I open the door, I can’t possibly hide my smile.

Of course I thought about this for awhile (it’s all I thought about the entire class) and debated whether or not this would be a good idea. While this is definitely not a great idea, it doesn’t feel weird or scary. I mean, my mom certainly wouldn’t approve of this and I think my dad would have a stroke if he found out what I was doing.

Is this how people get murdered? Am I too naive?

I don’t think so. I trust Walter. He is a nice man and I’ve been with him alone in his office two times now. That wasn’t scary, he isn’t giving me bad vibes.

Going to his loft shouldn’t be that much different.

‘How were your classes, Penny?’ Walter asks.

A scoff leaves my lips. ‘It was horrid,’ I mumble, placing my backpack in-between my legs. ‘Professor Carter really likes hearing himself speak.’

‘That,’ he says, starting his car, ‘is true. I hate that guy.’

I chuckle. ‘Hate is such a strong word,’ I tell him. ‘I’d like to say he is simply hard to like.’

Walter smiles. ‘Of course.’

I fumble my thumbs as they are placed on my lap, taking in a breath. I’m really nervous, which is completely unnecessary. I feel safe around Walter, I feel noticed around him. It’s nice being noticed, especially by someone like Walter.

‘I didn’t know if you want something,’ Walter says, ‘so I got you some chocolate and cookies. If you don’t like that, please tell me. I can make a small detour to the grocery store.’

‘No, chocolate and cookies are perfect.’ I run my fingers through my hair, as Walter soars over the roads. His driving style fits him perfectly. He is impatient, quick and breaks abruptly, instead of slowly, a complete one eighty compared to my driving style. ‘You’re not gonna kill me, right?’

Walter starts to laugh and it’s the first time I actually see him putting his guard completely down. His eyes are smaller, the little crowfeet appear near them. ‘Of course not. I would lose my only student with sense.’

I lean back against the seat, as I watch how we get deeper into the city. I’m usually never in this part of town. I look to the side, admiring Walter’s beautifully sculptured face. The beard kinda hides it, but I know that his face is close to perfection.

‘You’re staring,’ he says, his eyes not once leaving the road.

Oh dear, I totally am. How incredibly rude of me. ‘I’m sorry,’ I quickly apologize.

‘It’s not a problem. Kinda cute actually.’

‘What do you mean by that?’

‘You always stare in class,’ he says. ‘When things get a little gore, you start to blink really fast, you scrunch up your nose and try to stare at your fingers, but you don’t want to be rude and miss something, so you look up again. Only this time you’re squinting and you make a pretty poor attempt of hiding your disgust.’

‘Wow,’ I chuckle. ‘That’s specific.’

‘Noticing the smallest details is important in my line of work. Tell me what I do during class.’

I swallow as I try to think about everything he does in class. ‘You never look at people when you call out their name. It usually takes around a second or two, before you tear your gaze away from whatever you’re looking at. You are quite insulting when it comes to stupid answers.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You either scoff or roll your eyes,’ I note. ‘Besides, you always look bored, even when someone makes a good point.’

‘That’s because I am,’ he retorts.

‘Teaching really isn’t your thing, is it?’

He snickers. ‘Oh no. You could say I hate it with a passion. But if I do this, I could one day maybe work in the force again. It’s just a little in between jobs.’

‘You miss it, don’t you?’

‘I do,’ he answers. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever missed something that much.’

‘You miss Minnesota?’

He shakes his head. ‘I mean, a little of course, but New York is great too.’

‘Are you married? Or do you have someone?’ I ask.

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘I haven’t met her yet,’ he says. ‘Besides, I’m picky. You got a boyfriend?’

I can’t even stop my laughter. ‘No, of course not,’ I answer. ‘There is no one that likes me anyways.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he says in a pretty harsh tone. ‘You’re a lovely girl and any guy would be lucky to have you as their girlfriend.’

My cheeks burn up. ‘You think so?’

‘I know so, Penny. Let me tell you this: you are amazing, smart and the guy you end up with is gonna be one lucky man, since you’re probably out of his league anyway.’

He really thinks so?

Walter parks his car in the parking garage underneath the apartment building and he tells me to wait, as he gets out. He walks around the truck and opens the door for me.

‘I can open my own door, you know?’

‘I know,’ he chuckles, gesturing to hand over my bag. ‘But I couldn’t do it back at the station, so humor me for a second, okay?’

‘Of course.’ I grab his hand and he helps me out the car. Together we walk towards the elevator and I nervously roll my ankle, as we wait for the elevator to arrive at the right floor.

It abruptly stops and we walk out towards his door. He pushes it open, telling me to go in first.

His loft meets up to the expectations I had. Boring. Nearly empty. Only decorated with the necessities. ‘Right,’ I say. ‘This is exactly what I thought it would be.’

Walter hangs his coat over the back of the chair. ‘Is that so?’

I let the material of my own jacket slide off my shoulders. ‘Mhm, you have very little taste.’

‘I’d like to call it minimalistic,’ he retorts, as he takes my jacket from me hands. He tells me to sit and relax, while he makes us some tea.

I carefully take place on his couch, looking around me. Thankfully he removed all the eventual crime scene photos, files or anything related to the gory side of police work.

‘Here you go.’

‘Thank you,’ I say to Walter as he sits next to me, placing the tea on the coffee table. The couch cushion I’m sitting on, slightly dips to the right as he takes place. I have to tighten all my non existent muscles to not slide towards him, however I am not very strong, nor fit, so I bump against his side. ‘Sorry,’ I say.

‘It’s okay. Tell me, what are subjects that you struggle with.’

‘Everything,’ I admit.

He smiles. ‘Then I shall help you with everything.’

✎ ✎ ✎

My brain hurts from all the things Walter says to me and the way he answers all my questions. It’s so sweet and considerate of him to literally minimize everything to a level I could understand it. I take off my glasses as I rub my eyes. Walter has placed his arm on the armrest, our bodies closer than I’ve ever been to someone who I thought was attractive.

‘This isn’t working,’ Walter says, when it’s obvious I’m not registering anything anymore. ‘You need a break.’ He places my laptop and papers on the coffee table and stands up. He ushers me to follow him and I nearly run after him, since he’s taking such large strides.

‘Where are we going?’

He slides open the doors that lead to a little balcony. It’s just as boring as the rest of his place, but the view on the other hand is absolutely lovely. I walk towards the balustrade, holding the cold metal as I look over the city.

‘Wow,’ I say, ‘this is so beautiful.’

He smiles as he stands next to me. ‘It sure is.’

‘I’ve never saw the city like this,’ I say.

‘Where you’re from originally?’

‘Maryland,’ I answer. ‘But New York is really fun as well. Maybe even more so, if I’m being honest.’

‘I’ve never been there,’ Walter says, placing his underarms on the balustrade, so we’re around the same height. He looks to the side, at the same time the wind blows. He chuckles, when strands of my hair slap him across the face.

‘Sorry,’ I smile, as I try to contain the wild hairs.

He holds out his hand, pushing back a strand behind my ear. ‘That’s okay, Penny. You like it out here?’

‘Yes, I really do. It’s nice to take a bit of a breather. I’m sorry I am not really getting it.’

‘No, don’t be silly,’ he says, ‘you’re doing great. It’s my teaching skills that are lacking.’

I bite my lip as I take in his entire face. He is so close, just like he was back in the living room. He placed his arm on the backrest of the couch, his body so close near mine, that I could smell his lovely cologne.

‘You’re beautiful,’ he softly admits, almost as if he doesn’t want me to hear.

‘Oh,’ I whisper, slightly taken aback, ‘really?’

‘Really. You have your phone with you?’

I pull it out of my back pocket. ‘Yes, why?’

‘Allow me to memorize this moment for you.’

It’s a slightly odd request, but I give him the phone and he takes a few pictures of me. For some reason, I don’t feel awkward. Usually I take pictures by myself or I let my mom take one, but that’s only the case when she wants to make a picture for her friends to show me off.

With Walter behind the camera, I’m relaxed and not so nervous.

Which is strange. I keep forgetting he is my professor. With his head, he nods me over and I look over his arm to the phone screen. ‘They look good,’ I say.

‘Not just good,’ he says. ‘You look amazing.’

He hands me back my phone and at the same time, a slightly cold breeze causes me to tense up and shiver a bit. ‘You cold?’

‘A little,’ I admit.

‘Wait here.’

Walter walks back inside, leaving me be for a little while. I look over the city. The cars, the different type of houses. Dogs barking, young kids laughing and just people having fun in general.

‘Here you go,’ Walter says, ‘I got you a sweater and some tea.’

I look over my shoulder, to see him placing two steaming mugs of tea on the tiny table and indeed a thick sweater (one of his own) in his hands. ‘You’re really going out of your way for me,’ I admit. ‘That’s nice.’

He frowns. ‘No one’s ever gone out of their way for you before?’

I shake my head.

‘Let me be the first then.’ He actually helps me into the sweater and gently pulls out my hairs from the sweater.

I take place on the slightly uncomfortable chair. It’s a bit windy, but not unpleasant. Especially not when I’m wearing a sweater this warm.

‘What are you thinking?’ I ask Walter.

He shrugs. ‘Just something crossed my mind, but I don’t want to intrude.’

‘You could never. If someone is intruding, then it’s totally me. I mean, I literally am at your place, because school’s too hard for me. Seriously, you can ask me anything you want.’

‘When did you find out you were placed at the church?’

I wrap my fingers around my mug and say: ‘My mom always said that I was a special delivery from the stork. I knew I was adopted, but I never thought more of it. My parents were simply my parents, even though they didn’t look like me. One day a kid in my class thought it was stupid I had white parents, when I clearly wasn’t, I realized it maybe was a bit weird. So I asked them about it and they told me the entire story.’

‘Must’ve been hard,’ Walter says.

I shrug. ‘Kinda.’

‘Does it bother you to this day? In your day to day life?’

These are very intense questions. He really does want to get to know me better, right? ‘You kinda carry it with you all the time,’ I say. ‘Oh no, I’m gonna cry.’ I blink my eyes fast, as I try to redirect both my feelings and his attention. ‘This is stupid, I’m sorry.’

‘No, no, no,’ he says, in such a soft and caring tone, that it almost makes me cry a little more. When was the last time someone was this caring about me outside my family? ‘Don’t apologize for your feelings.’

It just doesn’t match. His uninterested appearance versus this hidden caring nature of his. He leans forward and places his hand on my knee. A simple gesture, enough however to stop my heart from working. ‘I’ll try,’ I say, wiping the tears from my cheeks. ‘I promise.’

✎ ✎ ✎

After the well needed break, I was in the right mindset and managed to get a lot of work done. Turns out: I’m not stupid, I’m just a bit slow from time to time. Having someone that helps me, gives me a better understanding of it all.

‘You know,’ I say, as I pack my stuff in my bag, ‘your hair is quite dry and frizzy.’

‘Is it?’ Walter asks with a chuckle. ‘You have some nerves, young lady, to tell me my hair is frizzy after I helped you out.’

‘Just want to give you a bit of advice in return,’ I snicker.

‘Well, since you want to go to cosmetology school so badly, you tell me next week what products I need to use and I’ll be your test subject, how about that?’

He wants to see me again? Or does he mean after school? Or simply through texts?

‘Really?’

‘Of course, Penny.’

‘Thank you again for helping me out,’ I say. ‘I know this isn’t exactly in your job description.’

‘I’m happy to help, if it’s in my job description or not.’ He grabs my coat and helps me in it. ‘You want a lift?’

I shake my head. ‘It’s still light outside and I can go by bus. I need to do some groceries anyway.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I am sure,’ I say. ‘Really, it’s not a big deal.’

‘Just share your location with me, okay? I want to make sure you’re back safe.’

Walter is such a caring and loving man, though he tries to hide it underneath all that grumpiness.

‘Okay, will do,’ I say, after I put on my shoes. I place my bag on the floor, grab my phone and start sharing my location with him for the next four hours. ‘What’s wrong?’ I ask him, when I push my phone in my back pocket and the two of us lock eyes.

‘Nothing,’ he says. ‘I just really got to know you. That was nice.’

I smile. ‘It totally was,’ I say. ‘I’d like to get to know you a bit more next time.’

Next time? I’m really suggesting a next time?

Walter barely responds to it, only a small cocking of his eyebrow. ‘Next time,’ he says. ‘You’ll get to know plenty about me.’ He takes a step forward, only for me to be able to smell his cologne. Gosh, what does one say right now?

While I’m contemplating the best topics, Walter seemed to have no issue coming up with something. ‘You’re staring again,’ he notes.

‘No, I’m not,’ I say to him, way too quickly. ‘Okay, maybe I was.’

You have to ask me again later on how exactly, but somehow my back is pressed against the wall. Walter places his hand on my cheek, his calloused thumb brushing over my parted lips. I don’t know where to look, but my gaze stops at his kissable looking lips.

His body is pressed against mine and two slow seconds passes before I feel his lips on mine.

What is this? Is he truly kissing me? I can’t believe this. My first kiss. I hold onto his thick sweater, my fingers wrapping tightly on the fabric, almost solely because my knees start to wobble like crazy. It’s the first time I felt someone’s lips on mine. Someone’s beard scratching my chin. Never before did I feel someone’s tongue carefully over my bottom lip. He cages me in between his thick arms. He is so much more overpowering, dominant, but boy, is it a role that suits him so well.

Much to my dismay, he pulls back to flash me a tiny smile. ‘I’ve been thinking about doing this for quite some time now today.’

‘Why?’ I ask him.

He smiles. ‘Just because,’ he says.

‘Well, I’ve been thinking about it too,’ I whisper.

‘What stopped you from doing it?’

‘You’re my professor, Walter.’

He nods. ‘I know. That should’ve stopped me,’ he admits.

‘No, no,’ I say, placing my hands on both sides of his face. ‘Don’t let it stop you. Please don’t.’ It sounds slightly needy, but I can’t help it. It’s the first time in my entire life I feel this alive. With his understanding, I notice finally the ability for me to figure out who I am as a person. However, those words stay close to my heart. I bite my bottom lip and he interprets it as an invitation and I’m so thankful he does.

The kiss is less soft than the previous one, far more intense. I don’t want to stop kissing him. His lips part from mine, evading his way to my nape to press wet kisses on the delicate skin. My fingers run through his hair. ‘Walter,’ I say and he looks up. I always notice the shift in gazes when he is with me. So much softer, gentle and caring than he is in class or with others. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Sure about what?’

‘Me?’

A crooked smile appears on his lips. ‘I’ve never been so sure.’

✎ ✎ ✎

Once I got home, realization truly hit. I just kissed my professor.

Was it smart? No.

Will I do it again? Probably.

Oh my, I’m falling for him, aren’t I? I had this insanely goofy grin on my face as I sat in the bus, did my groceries and went to my dorm. I bet I looked like a moron, but I couldn’t help myself. Walter’s lips on mine felt so good.

Those lips will be all I am going to think about. I take off my coat, only to realize I’m still wearing his sweater. It smells like him, his wonderful cologne.

I’m this deep in thoughts and little dreams, that I yelp when I hear a text coming in.

Walter: You’re home safe, right?

Oh, that’s right. I was sharing my location with him.

Me: Yes, I just walked in

Walter: Did you lock your door?

Me: Yes

Walter: Okay good

Me: Thanks for your help btw

Walter: Of course, not a problem

Me: I think I’m gonna go get ready for bed

Walter: Alright, princess

Walter: Good night

✎ ✎ ✎

[where-dreamers-go]

I’d love a platonic Boba Fett x Mandalorian! reader where reader worked with the clones as a kid, so she got really good at telling them apart by the tiniest details! So when he meets her on a hunt or something she recognizes him immediately and they catch up over a meal. Then they maybe finish the hunt together or just just talk about fights they’ve been in? Thank you dear!!

“Reunion” Boba Fett x Mandalorian!Reader

(A/N: Requested by the awesome @the-and-sign-anon.

Here’s some platonic Boba Fett fanfiction for yah! I feel like this has taken me a year to do, but it hasn’t, obviously. I just want it to be cool. I hope you like it! This is my first time writing for Boba Fett.

Aliit - family

Beskar’gam - armor

Buir - father

Vod - brother

Warnings: Canon violence (blasters). Death (no details).

Word Count: 1,445 words)

Late afternoon on an Outer Rim planet was not out of the norm for you. The system’s small sun casted long shadows behind the roughly structured buildings. A coolness crept into the air as evening grew near.

Perched atop of a well used cantina, you awaited a clearing near your intended location across the main square. You preferred less attention where you were going. The less people at small tucked-away building’s entrance the better.

It should not be much longer, you thought.

Earlier in the day, you had staked out the surroundings and where exactly you were to get the object. The bounty of the hunt. Was the objected named by the one who hired you? No, they had only told you who had it and where. Then added that it was valuable and quite decorative.

Helpful, you mused sarcastically.

Standing up, you decided that you would make it the right time to grab what you needed. The shortcut route would be best. Not the fastest way per se, but more your style. Rooftops were fine walkways in their own right. You were more interested in keeping the high ground. Only being in the area for less than twenty-four hours was a semi-followed rule of yours. Plus there were sightings of other bounty hunters.

It was prime opportunity to get the object of the bounty and leave. No more further delays.

Armor glinting in the sunlight, you kept your shadow hidden within the growing darkness cast by buildings and their antennae.

Three buildings and clothesline away from the unguarded door, you paused.

A bounty hunter.

You knew of course that there were others hired to grab the same object, however the one that caught you eye did not tickle your fancy nor did you care for their style. Too flashy with his large weaponry and inflated attitude. He was strutting a little too close to the door of your objective. Not to forget he was causing more trouble than needed. Pushing citizens around physically and verbally was unnecessary.

Can easily get passed him while he’s occupied. You thought, boot pointed in the direction of a small balcony below. Just—

Green paint grabbed your full attention. A very specific colored Beskar’gam in the next structure over. The sight of the colors and their arrangement lead you into a pursuit. The Mandalorian was steadily leaving a building. Closer. A small dent on his helmet.

You smiled, your thoughts on the bounty pushed aside.

Time to say ‘hello’, you thought as you leaped down into the dusty path.

A blaster was already lowering from its aim as you rose to your full height, meaning he recognized you.

The Mandalorian’s stance was slightly relaxed yet bent and ready to move. There were a few moments of long silence. Two Mandalorians watching one another.

“Are you just gonna stand there quietly?” A modulated male voice spoke from the green helmet. An accent in his voice pulled the air from your lungs. The familiarity striking and comforting.

“I wanted to give dramatic effect.” You said as you lifted one of your blaster pistols.

“Not sure your knees will approve.”

“Probably not.”

The grin you held disappeared as someone rounded the corner. A tall weapon in their hand. The bounty hunter you had spotted before. Not a well known one, you had not heard much of him. Only disliked any time you crossed paths, however briefly.

“Two Mandalorians? What…are you two after the bounty?” He laughed. “Why don’t you go shine your armor.” With loud steps, he walked closer. “Something you’re good at, right?”

That one’s unreasonable, you thought.

“If you’re after the bounty, why stop and chat?” You asked.

“What are you gonna do about it?” They clicked their tongue. “I’m going to get it anyway. Can’t have dusty troopers in my light.” A gloved finger edged to the trigger of his weapon as he continued forward. “Rona Olien. I’m that good.”

You and Boba turned your helmets to face one another. A silent conversation and decision transpired.

click

You charged forward in a crouch as the first round of blaster fire came from the bounty hunter’s modified weapon. The blasts stopped as the bounty hunter, Olien, staggered back as a blasterbolt hit them in the shoulder. Boba’s doing. Using the blunt end of your blaster pistol, you hit the side of the man’s head. The bounty hunter landed on the ground in a heap, groaning.

Walking up beside you, Boba kicked the large weapon out from Olien’s grip.

“If you’re going to shoot a Mandalorian, next time have better aim,” said Boba.

The two of you started walking away from the man. That was until a laser fire hit the wall of a building beside you.

In a flash of color, Boba had angled in a twist and had fired his blaster.

thump

“They were quite rude,” you said as Boba turned back to you.

“No honor.” Your brother lowered his weapon and walked with you to the destination.

It did not take long for the both of you to enter the building and find what you were after. A little digging and Boba had it in his grasp.

“A vase?” You tilted your helmet-protected head.

“An expensive vase.” Boba clarified. Rotating the piece, he examined it.

“Is it more or less than the job?”

“A bit more. Not by much.”

“Is it enough for you?”

His green and silver helmet turned in your direction. “It’s enough that we can split the difference for the job. And don’t tell me you don’t need it.”

You raised your hands in mock defense.

“Come on,” Boba turned on his heel. “They can wait one more day for their vase.”

His words surprised you. Yet you knew deep down that family meant a great deal more to him than a job.

You and your brother walked to a decent hotel and rented a room for the night; after grabbing some food of course. Neither of you wanted to part ways immediately. Besides, communicating via two separate ships was not an ideal way of spending time with family you had not seen in years.

Once in the quiet and privacy of the room, you relaxed. The food, vase, and weapons were put aside.

“It’s good to see you, vod.” You walked up to one another and inclined your helmets together.

“I’ve missed you.” Boba took a step back. “There’s a dent in your shoulder piece.”

“I know,” you groaned. “Too bad it wasn’t on my helmet then we’d match.”

“Hardly.”

You shook your head, smiling. There were more scuff marks on his armor than you remembered. Then again, so did yours. You had not seen one another in more than two years. Taking different opportunities tended to do that.

Living in an Empire was much different than whatever it really was when you were younger. You and Boba practically grew up together on Kamino. A rainy world where all you two saw was the insides of the cloning facility. The three of you, your shared father included, stayed there together. Jango Fett, your buir, had found you on a battle-worn world and brought you into the aliit, family, where Boba was your constant companion. A vod who was your only aliit after the battle on Geonosis.

Lives could always change so suddenly. Ones who lived together and depended on one another could find themselves on opposite ends of the galaxy.

Comfortable where you were, you started removing your armor and setting it down in your preferred arrangement. It was strange to have your helmet off while in the presence of another, however your vod was a major exception. The was a freedom to it all, the familiarity and the opportunity to just be yourself with on you trusted.

“That guy from earlier…,” you started as you yanked off your boots. “Have you seen him before?”

“Once or twice. He’s sloppy.”

“And had an ego the size of a rancor’s butt.”

He chuckled at your comment.

“Tomorrow,” you sat back in your seat, “I think you should give them the vase. Just in case they think of shortening you credits because I’m with you.”

“Changing subjects fast….They wouldn’t dare.”

“Just in case. Plus the whole bounty hunter image…”

He scoffed. “You’re my aliit.” Sighing, he nodded. “Fine.”

“Now that’s settled.” You grabbed the food and brought it closer. “Let’s eat.”

And eat, you did. Lounging about, the two of you talked and joked about the past. Catching up was half the fun. Making new memories was even better.

“I really have missed you, Boba.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

~~~

Best wishes and happy reading.)

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coffee

~~~~~

DreamerDragon Tags: @cubedtriangle

Star Wars Tags: @darkenwolfy @sweetheartliz07 

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[omnitf]

Soulless

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Credit for this image goes to @dissolving-time. Follow this link to see the original post.

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Thank you, and enjoy the story! :D

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I used to be different than the man you see today. They say the industry changes you, and I suppose they’re right, whoever they are. I’ve been a model for ... I don’t even know how many years now. Like I said, things used to be different.

It was just one photo shoot. I didn’t expect to be such a hit. It was a million in a million in a million chance. Audition, smile to the cameras, wear the gear, sell the product, get paid in royalties. It was a straightforward business arrangement. Folks say they like to have models with a lot of heart and soul. Now that I think about it, that’s what the company said when they hired me.

My agent got the call, and then he called me. He barely kept himself from shouting as he told me the details. Daemonique was and still is one of the premier modeling brands out there. It costs a bundle and a half to even have them consider lending you their talent. Runways, photo ops, fashion articles, the works. If they looked at you, if they chose you, then you were in. You were set for life.

I was floored. Naturally, I said yes. I signed the contract and joined my fellow models in the spotlight, and my agent was offered a hefty sum for snatching me. He still lives very well, from what I understand. Daemonique poached him from his firm, something about being a, “devil of a recruiter.” We still talk sometimes, but usually it’s just when he offers me my new assignment. Sometimes, he brings new talent with him to meet me. People worship me, idolize me.

That used to impress me. Now I feel ... indifferent, I suppose. It’s ... difficult to describe. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the attention, more that ... I suppose I slide into whatever they want me to be. That’s my purpose as a model.

I remember when I was introduced to my hero in the modeling community, Nathan Bolaterro. My smile was radiant, my handshake firm and only slightly exaggerated. His smile was reserved, his bearing shifting to accommodate me.

“There are many models here,” he told me, “with many masks, many faces. It’s ... difficult to keep track of what brought you here sometimes, the ‘you’ that you put into your shoots. Make sure that you don’t lose track of it. That’s the best advice I can give you.” He looked almost sadly at a playbill with a beaming teenager wrapping either arm around another two other teens’ shoulders on stage. There were four of them, identically dressed in the traditional garb of the barber shop quartet from The Music Man. I could just barely see the resemblance between the middle left boy and the man that stood before me now.

One of the many agents that runs this place strode through the door then. “Nate, it’s time for your sports segment.”

The model swallowed heavily, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as a result. “Coming,” he said in a low-pitched tone. His gaze darted back toward that photo almost desperately. Then he turned his back and followed his handler out. I followed them into the hall, since it would be rude to remain in his dressing room.

“Do well on this one, and you’ll be a shoe-in for Soulless.” The agent grinned and thumped Nathan on the back. My breath caught at the mention of that great fashion line. Only the best of the best of the best in the agency could make it into that exalted circle.

I was confused when I saw, not a joyful smile, but a frown of unease cross over the model’s face.

The next time I saw him, he was getting out of a session for some sports magazine spread or some other campaign. His body was huge, his voice deep and dull. The familiar brand name Soulless stretched down one meaty thigh in big capital letters over the compression pants and widely across his left pectoral as he scratched the material of his compression shirt with his free hand. “You talking to me, bro?” He didn’t seem to recognize me. His eyes were glassy and unfocused. They seemed almost dead as he stared at me through the open visor of a football helmet. The angular shape of the opening gave his head an almost block-like appearance. The rich hair that had once been so carefully styled was little more than sculpted stubble now. His pupils vibrated, like they didn’t know whether to dilate or contract. Or ... maybe they were trying to, but couldn’t? “The name’s Jock....”

I still remember how freaked out I was after that encounter. My agent had to explain it to me, about Nathan’s “methods.” A lot of the models follow it, apparently. I guess ... I guess I do, too, now that I stop to think about it. There’s a sort of role that we’re asked to fill for each of our shoots. Whatever we model, the photographer wants us to fit certain ... characters, tropes, if you will. These tropes have names, and we don them as easily as we do makeup or an outfit for the cameras. Jock, Brat, Badboy, Greaser, Guido, Father, Hipster, Businessman, and so on.

It’s ... easy to forget your name when you’re in this community. You become almost numb to it. You have to, if you want to survive the media storms that follow you around. Let go of the power that name has over you, and you can usually ignore most of the reporters or rabid fans trying to get your attention. It’s a trick you learn fast in the business, once you make it big. And all Daemonique models make it big. Sometimes, when I have to sign a waiver or some other legal document, I pause and stare at the line, and I have to grope in the dark to try to find the name I cast away. Sometimes, it’s suggested that I just sign with an X, like a lot of the other models do, but I don’t want to yet. I still want to be able to keep that power of the name with me. If I stop using it there, it’ll be harder to ... to ... what? I’m not sure. Remember? Pull back? Be myself?

What even is “myself” anymore? I’m ... I’m not sure.

I’ve taken to carrying the photo that brought me to Daemonique’s attention with me. I find it ... grounding to stare at. Almost comforting, really. I talk to it sometimes, greet it with my name, almost like it’s another person. I guess ... in a way, it is. It’s sort of like a lifeline to me, a connection to the me that was before all the lights and the cameras and the flashes and masks I’ve had to don for the sake of the shoot, the product, the image that Daemonique wants me to fit.

I feel less and less like a person and more and more like some ... glorified prop, a life-sized doll that my handlers change, dress, shift, and adapt to their whims. And the scary part is, ... I’m okay with that. I ... almost relish slipping into those characters and roles now, because they fill that emptiness that I return to when I take them off. The face I see in the mirror of my dressing room is so ... alien to me now. It’s nothing like the face I see when I look at this photo. And that emptiness is reinforced whenever I get in line with the other models for our weekly assessments. There’s no real talking, just standing, waiting, moving in time as the camera shutter clicks, snaps, clacks. The model turns, the process repeats, until all the sides are captured. Then we move forward, and the next one follows. The young bloods toward the back of the line whisper and talk among themselves. I used to do that, too, to be that. Now, ... now it feels so ... unnecessary. I stand among my peers, where quiet is the norm and blank the ideal. A canvas waiting to be painted. A whiteboard waiting to be drawn up, then cleared.

...

A walking, talking mannequin.

Is that all I am now?

Is that all my purpose is?

Is this ... really what I want?

...

Does it really even matter anymore?

I feel so strange, so stripped, so ... empty, even as I stand on that line now, waiting for that photo set. I pull out my photo for comfort. That tiny spark is only so much against the yawning void that’s eaten away inside of me. A wry smile curves my lips, one of the first sincere ones I’ve had in who knows how long.

Did you know that some cultures believed that to capture yourself in a photo was to capture a piece of your soul? By that logic, every human who’s ever consumed media or pictures is a demon, or at least part demon. They consume those fragments, those pieces. And the models and actors and actresses let them. And they fill up with other things and ideas, just like I do when I’m in a shoot. They’re just as empty, just as desperate for fulfillment, a role, even a piece, a taste of the soul they used to be.

I barely even recognize the feel of the textured mat when I step in front of the camera. I stare into the lens, still holding the photo. The shutter clacks. The light flashes. My shadow is thrown up in sharp relief behind me on the backdrop. I blink. For a moment, I could almost swear that I see sharpened teeth bared in a hungry, anticipatory grin. Clack goes the shutter. Flash goes the light. Around I turn. I feel no sense of fear or worry at the sight of the horns. I feel ... nothing. I turn again and watch my shadow flash in front of me, then fade into the nothingness of the backdrop. Just a 2-D silhouette. No substance, no form, just here and gone in a flash of light and the click of a shutter.

I feel no anxiety at the sound of clopping hooves echoing in my ears as I turn again. I’m just going through the motions, following the formula. They want a blank slate. They want the empty. They want a foundation they can build and mold like clay in their hands. Malleable. Easy to shape and control. No complaints. No thoughts or discomforts. Just ... being. Just existing.

...

Empty.

I look down at my photo. There is no more thrill at it. No spark. No joy. No connection. Whatever power it held has been stripped by the camera. It is a person I do not know, a blank face in a crowd. I see no light in those eyes, no life, no ... soul, to use the company term. I see only a picture, a pointless picture.

Flash. Clatter. Flutter. Smack. The photo is no longer in my hand as I turn to face the camera again. The creature before me leers behind the camera as one final shutter goes off, one last flash. He licks his lips as his tail lashes behind him.

I turn and march as the other models before me on the line have done. Another paper is shoved at me. I do not bother with the name this time. An X will suffice.

My agent is there next to me suddenly. The soles of his shoes clunk with a rhythmic clopping, almost like hooves. He adjusts the waistband of his pants uncomfortably, then rubs at the nubs that I see growing from his forehead. He seems to be sweating for some reason. I’m not sure why as he breaths heavily. I can just see the hints of longer pointed canines protruding from his lips. He raises his phone and snaps a picture of me. I don’t blink.

“I think he’s ready, Sir.”

This time, I do blink. When I open my eyes, there is a bigger agent hovering over his shoulder. This one is like the photographer. The air smells of aftershave with a hint of sulfur as he leans down to peer into my eyes. I don’t care. I stare into an abyss like my own. This one has lights, but it it is different than mine was. It is not so much an absence of substance as a consumer of it. For the briefest of moments, I feel what could almost be considered a suction, a vacuous force seeking to draw something out of me, only there’s nothing to take. Nothing moves, nothing comes, because whatever that vacuum consumes is not there.

The grin that spreads across that face is savage and predatory. “Well done.” He lays a heavy clawed hand on my agent’s shoulder.

My agent shudders as his eyes flicker briefly and corrugated black horns slowly begin to emerge from the nubs. He licks his lips, and as he does so, flashes of his sharpening teeth appear in my gaze. He swallows and gulps, and as the pressure from what I can only assume is his supervisor increases, he hunches forward precariously on the balls of his feet as the beginnings of a tail bursts out behind him, having broken free of the confines of the seat of his pants.

“Th-thank you, Sir,” he repeats breathlessly as he stands up again. His cheeks are flushed from the sudden changes that have overtaken his body.

“Keep it up, and you’ll fit right in in no time.”

“Y-yes, Sir.” He smiles almost timidly, but there’s a hint of bite to it as his sharper teeth peek over the edges of his lips.

They motion for me to follow, and I do so without question.

“What will he, uh, it, become, Sir?”

The supervisor grins as we approach a large black door with red gilded lettering on its front in an angular archaic font that reads, SOULLESS. “Whatever we want it to be.”

The door opens, and I step forward, ready to take on whatever role my owners require. I am ready to be filled. I am blank.

“Welcome to Soulless, slate.”

My response is as numb and empty as I feel. “Thank you, Sir.”

I am nothing more than a dummy shuffled from caricature to caricature. That is my purpose and my role. When my work is complete, I am wiped clean, a blank slate again, to be molded and shaped as my handlers please. This is the fate of the soulless, and the soulless do not care.

I am Jock. I am Bear. I am Thug. I am Guido. I am Officer. I am Soldier. I am Father. I am Son. I am King. I am Peasant. I am Extra. I am everything and nothing. I am one of a legion of slates waiting to be wiped clean or filled according to our handlers’ whims.

We are legion.

We are the empty.

We are Soulless.

[mooswords]

Know him when you see him

Pairing: miya atsumu x reader

Word count: 1.5k

Tags: spy au, atsumu is attractive and he knows it

Ramblings: this was meant to be a short piece to practice writing metaphores and then somehow it ended up a full fic? and i lowkey love it? oops

---

They don’t realize how much of an art it is - concealing the everything of what you are and becoming something, someone completely new. 

You can paint over an image a hundred times, but the original will always poke through. Somehow, somewhere, if you don’t handle yourself with care, chips of vermillion and kohl will fall away to reveal the canvas underneath. 

And the only way to stop your carefully crafted picture from fading is to add more layers, so you thicken the colour of your accent, add an extra layer of velvet under your words, spread a bright shade of allure onto your lips. Because to walk into the White Eagle anything less than a perfectly crafted masterpiece is asking for trouble.

Not to say you weren’t looking for a specific kind of trouble tonight.

(“Oh, you’ll know him when you see him,” Osamu said, lazy eyes glinting with amusement. You had turned to eye Kita, questioning if you really had to take vague orders from the cook of all people.

He has the decency to look apologetic. “Standard protocol for contacting deep cover agents. You know we can’t give you a specific description.”)

The bar is hazy; lavish and warm, the very picture of elegance. Sharply dressed people duck into curtained alcoves, ice clinks in nursed drinks. The woman in the corner of the room curls around a microphone, her low crooning innocently covering the casual threats slipped between wisps of smoke. Someday you'll come back for the blood money being exchanged under the table, but tonight you start your search where every good mission starts. 

The ashy haired bartender leans across the bar towards you, resting casually on his elbows. “What’s your poison, sweetheart?”

“Hmmm...” You tuck a carefully manicured hand under your chin. “Something sweet tonight, I think.”

It’s strange, watching this lethal man pour your drink with such delicate care. Idly, you wonder if his work with a sniper rifle is just as captivating. There is a hint of flair in his fluid movements that is entrancing, a performance you can well appreciate. Your own art is similar, a careful dance between too many bold strokes and too little detail - adding enough colour to leave an impression, to draw the eye, but never letting yourself come too sharply into focus. 

When he sets the glass on the bar, you create a tantalizing moment of brushing fingers, dusting rose pink over your cheeks. He grins across at you, and you swivel on the stool before he gets too close.

Quietly, you survey the gallery of men laid before you. There’s a solemn man in the corner, his dark quietness offset by the bright splash next to him who lounges with feet propped on a lacquered table; a quiet, dispassionate-looking boy with a fresh scar tearing through his face and hair hanging over his eyes. All eye-catching for sure, but they don’t quite fit the description. And the-

Your eyes meet across the smoky room and oh, this is what they meant by you’ll know him when you see him. You had expected trouble. You hadn’t prepared for bleach-blond hair and a lazy, all too familiar glint in all too familiar eyes.

He meanders over, brazenly eyeing you up and down. You entered tonight with a full coat of armour, but you can feel his raking gaze stripping the paint back, layer by layer.

A hand is presented to you. Arching an eyebrow, all you offer him in return is an amused look.

“C’mon.” His grin is roguish. “What’s the point of lookin’ that good if you can’t be shown off?”

(The true masters know how to blur the line between realism and fantasy; you wonder how many layers deep he had to thicken that smile to make it bleed such confidence. You wonder if he even remembers what his canvas looks like, untouched by false colour.)

“And what makes you think you’re the right person to do so?” You ask coyly, even as you slip your hand into his.

He winks. “Takes one to know one, sweetheart.”

The dance floor is empty as you sculpt yourself against him, following the line of his shoulder a shade tighter than you may have otherwise. Draping an arm around his shoulders, you sweep a soft exhale across the juncture of his neck; just to see what he’ll do. 

The arm on your waist tightens, and you smother your smile into his chest.

“Careful, doll. I might think you’re only here for my good looks.” 

“Perhaps I am.” Carefully, you lay the first stroke of ink that only he should recognise. “Though, I have to admit - I’m not sure about the blonde.”

“What you got against my hair, huh?”

“Not really your colour,” you tell him, streaking a dusky look up at him through your lashes. “Dye your hair grey and maybe we can talk.” 

He returns the look, a hint of reproach and his own shade of intelligence mixed in. “Ahh, and here I was thinking you were a woman of taste.”

“Now, correct me if I’m wrong,” you ask in mock-reproach, tapping a finger against his shoulder, “but it's the other one that knows about taste, right?” 

You both take a moment to inspect the recognition, checking the authenticity of the piece before you. There’s mutual acknowledgement in the press of your cheek against his dark suit, in the squeeze of his hand around yours as he dips his head next to yours.

Enamoured as you are by the graze of lips against your ear, you almost miss the first number he murmurs. But you are a professional, so you brush black over the sensation and print the digits into your memory. If you were to hazard a guess, they’re probably coordinates and a time, but Kita never specified and you never asked. 

Really, you’re more intrigued by the man in front of you. He’s a mess of clashing colours seamlessly blended into a living sculpture of sly charm and sharp eyes. A different breed to the Shiratorizawa strength to be sure, but he weaves his contrast in among them like his organic nature has always matched with their regimented style. 

And then, cold against your back, the barrel of a gun. 

“Turn around. Slowly,” the measured voice behind you instructs.

His eyes are wiped spotless in a heartbeat, a perfectly depicted image of shock. A little too perfect if you were going to be critical, but you have a feeling that’s his style - perfection that demands to be admired.

His eyes duck down, barely a flicker, and you almost laugh. It’s cute that he thinks you needed a hint to where his gun is, like you didn’t know the moment you laid hands on him.

All it takes is one clean movement to rip away your carefully crafted layers of guile. You sweep the gun from inside his jacket and whirl around with it pressed to his head. He stiffens against you, and you wonder if he really is surprised this time or just playing the part.

“No-one move,” you tell the room cooly.

“What makes you think he can get you out of here alive?” Mr dark-and-quiet asks.

“Well, you haven’t shot me yet,” you drawl, beginning to back away towards the door with him still pressed into your arms. “So I’m just gonna assume he isn’t disposable.”

You leave a trail of narrowed eyes and pressed lips in your wake. The red head looks especially antsy, you note with a touch of satisfaction, though at this point it doesn't seem like you're going to live to tell the tale. 

You are all too aware that your control of the room is fraying at the edges, unravelling with every move you make in their sights. There is a certain thrill that comes in these moments, in finding a way to twist the loose ends back into an advantage, but-

A bullet zips past your cheek. 

-rope burn is always an occupational hazard.

The room shatters, and you dive out the door with a snap of silk skirts. He is right there by you, pulling you up by the elbow as the night explodes with revving cars and blinding sparks that skitter across black tar.

You can't find it in yourself to be too disappointed. You may be a master of your performance, a flawlessly choreographed ballet, but you can't deny that improvising is so much more fun. The addition of him - cut from the same cloth as you were, the same medium just in a different colour - only expands your canvas of possibilities. 

"What’s the plan?” he calls, nothing more than a blur in your periphery as you streak along the street. His gold frame may be gone, unnecessary now the audience refuses to be blinded by his glitter, but you admire how he still moves in the same perfect lines.

“Don’t know yet," you yell back. He scoffs, and you flick him a grin drenched in adrenaline. 

"Don't worry, sweetheart" you tell him, watching your glee splatter against his unconvinced look. "I’ll know it when I see it."

[captains-log-reviews]

Disney’s Peter Pan (1953)

Summary/Overview:

I’ve been considering a Hook-themed review blog for some time now, and what better way to start off than with the classic 1953 Disney film? Originally slated to be Disney’s second animated film after Snow White, the idea for a production of Peter Pan was in Walt’s mind long before it hit the big screen. Walt himself had played Peter in a school play as a boy and had retained a fondness for the story ever since. The first major film version to feature a boy (Bobby Driscoll) in the titular role, Disney’s Peter Pan has since become perhaps even more widely known than Barrie’s original. That being said, I think it’s probably unnecessary to give much in the way of a summary, but for the sake of developing a consistent format for my reviews, here’s the super quick version:

Wendy Darling, a young girl with an active imagination and a love for storytelling, is distraught when her practical father decides that it is time for her to grow up and move out of the nursery with her brothers. Later that night, after her parents have gone out, Peter Pan—the flying boy hero of Wendy’s stories—shows up at her window and offers to take her and her brothers to Neverland, a magical island with mermaids, “Indians,” and pirates where they will never grow up. Unfortunately the kids get caught up in the plans of Captain Hook, who wants revenge on Peter for cutting off his hand and feeding it to a crocodile. Ultimately, Hook captures the children and nearly kills Peter with a bomb in the guise of a present from Wendy, but Tinkerbell, Peter’s loyal fairy friend, saves him just in the nick of time, allowing Peter to free the children from Hook’s crew and fight the captain in a final duel that results in Hook being chased off into the sunset by the crocodile. Wendy and her brothers return home safely, and Wendy realizes that she isn’t so afraid of growing up anymore...only to have her father admit that maybe holding onto her childhood a little bit longer wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

What I Liked:

Those of you who followed me over here from my other Hook blog, not-wholly-unheroic, already know that I am more than slightly biased when it comes to Disney’s Hook. I distinctly remember the first time I saw him on screen when I was twelve. The sequel had just come out on video, and ABC was doing its usual Sunday Disney movie (and advertising) by showing the original Peter Pan one weekend, followed by the sequel the next. I was bored and had never watched the film before, so I decided to give it a shot...and I was instantly struck by how different Hook was from any Disney villain I’d previously encountered. While most of the classic villains are motivated by greed, vanity, or the desire for power, Hook’s feud with Pan is at least somewhat justified considering he not only lost a hand but also faces the constant threat of the crocodile as a result of our supposed hero’s actions. Additionally, prior to Peter Pan, Disney’s major villains (Queen Grimhilde/The Evil Queen, Lady Tremaine, the Queen of Hearts) were typically rather flat and lacking in personality. We see only their wicked side (or in the case of “Man” in Bambi, we don’t see them at all!). Hook is a major departure from this trend in that while he is clearly made out to be the bad guy, we also see him in moments of fear, weakness, and self-doubt. We see him sick and in pain and ready to give up at times. Suddenly, he isn’t just a villain anymore... He’s a person we can empathize with. Walt himself recognized that the audience would “get to liking Hook” would not want him to die as he does in Barrie’s canon, opting instead to have him “going like hell” to get away from the crocodile but ultimately still very much alive at the end of the film.

Aside from Hook himself, I love the dynamic he has with Mr. Smee. While Hook admittedly doesn’t treat Smee well, there is clearly a bond of trust between them. Early on in the film, for instance, Smee prepares to shave Hook with a straight razor. It’s a moment that is ultimately used for comedic effect, but when one considers that Hook has a crew full of literal cutthroats, it says a lot about Smee that Hook feels totally at ease with this man putting a blade to his neck. Smee repeatedly attempts to intervene to save Hook when he doesn’t have to, and Hook unfailingly looks to Smee when he’s afraid for his life or when he needs to send someone out to complete an important mission for him. It’s a villain/sidekick dynamic that borders on friendship, and I think it adds a lot to the film and to Hook’s complexity as a character.

As far as artistic choices go, it is a rather minor thing, but I love that they kept the stage tradition of using the same actor for both Mr. Darling and Captain Hook, giving the film a rather dreamlike feel and subtly reinforcing the enmity Wendy feels toward her father in real life as she faces off against Hook in the Neverland. Speaking of the actor, Hans Conried isn’t just voice for Hook, as many would assume... He IS Hook as much as any live-action actor could be. I love the old hand-drawn animation style and how they used to use the actors as live-action reference models. (You can see some shots of Hans as the reference model vs the final images of Hook in the film here.) If you’ve ever seen a recording of Hans in one of his other roles, you’ll notice he doesn’t just SOUND like Hook...he makes the same facial expressions (particularly in how he speaks with his eyebrows) and hand/arm motions. It’s small details like this that make Hook (and all the characters) more human and show just how much time, effort, and love the animators put into their work.

What I Didn’t Like:

RACISM. With a capital “R.” There’s no sugar-coating it. Unfortunately, Disney’s film falls victim one of the many problematic tropes of the time when it was made and portrays the island’s native characters as highly caricatured, ignorant, and—in the case of Tiger Lily—romantically exotic people. Their signature song, “What Made the Red Man Red” is lyrically painful to modern listeners with any sense of decency, and the villagers’ character design—from their bright red skin to their large noses and often extreme body shapes (very fat or pencil thin)—along with their badly broken English is highly uncomfortable, to say the least. On the other hand, Tiger Lily, the most realistically drawn native character, is shown dancing flirtatiously for Peter and subsequently rubbing noses with him in what is meant to be a sort of native kiss (based on the concept of the “Eskimo kiss” which in and of itself is not a politically correct term).

Aside from the glaringly obvious issue of racism, my only real complaint with the Disney film is the music. While the songs are pretty standard for films of the day, I personally don’t find most of the music particularly memorable or catchy. “You Can Fly” is alright, I suppose, but the next few songs have their issues. “Following the Leader” and “What Made the Red Man Red” both have racist undertones, and Wendy’s lullaby, “Your Mother and Mine” puts the kids to sleep for a reason... It’s sweet but rather boring and drags on for far too long to keep the audience’s attention. Less time on the lullaby and more pirate sea shanties, please!

On the flip side, Hook is arguably the first Disney villain to get his own theme song, which is pretty cool. The original pirate song (which you can find here) is a bit more sedate than “The Elegant Captain Hook” we end up with and focuses more on the joys of pirating in general than why Hook, specifically, is someone the kids should want to work for. Personally, I’m glad they chose the song that they did, though I do wish they’d given Hook more lines as originally planned. (You can find the lyrics to the full version here.)

Would I recommend it?

Despite its flaws, Disney’s Peter Pan has had a major impact on the legacy of Peter Pan and how we view the characters as well as Neverland itself. It has long been a personal favorite of mine and acted as a gateway into the fandom for me. It introduced me to Hook as a likable, sympathetic, and complex villain and I’ll always be grateful for that. I definitely recommend it to anyone entering the fandom, those with a fondness for the nostalgia of classic Disney films, and kids at heart of all ages.

Overall Rating:

As much as I love the film and want to give it a perfect score, I’d be remiss if I didn’t deduct at least a few points for the depiction of the “Indians.” Otherwise a lovely version of the story so... 4/5 stars

[megucarecord]

Rating Genshin Impact Character Designs (Pt. 1)

Hey y’all! I’ve been thinking of doing this for a really long time and I decided to finally stop being lazy and do it. So this is going to be a review of all the playable characters in Genshin Impact from a design perspective. I don’t really have any prerequisites to make this list worth anything (unless you count one year of a fashion/sewing class in high school lol) but hey idk, seems fun?

Gonna be super long (10 characters) so putting everything under the cut.

Disclaimer: I don’t actually hate any of these designs, nor do I consider my opinions “fixing” them, this is just for fun. 

Character: Lumine

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this design. The hair and basic build are fine, very generic but that’s unsurprising for any character that is working at least partially as a pseudo self-insert. The color scheme is also very bland - and is one of the reasons I originally thought that Aether was automatically Geo traveler and Lumine was Anemo traveler. I think that adding more colors would’ve been a good thing, but also would’ve required a revamp of the dress itself, so maybe not the most practical thing, even if I think the dress is a bit too busy. The biggest changes I would make would be to get rid of the fancy part of her stockings as well as the extra flow/ruffled back of the skirt, which is just a bit too much considering the top layer of the skirt is already quite detailed (in a very nice way) and that could’ve just been extended. I also have to admit that though the scarf is very impractical and showy, but it reminds me of a costume from a series I like so I actually like it a lot, although you could definitely term it unnecessary.

Rating: 7/10

Character: Aether

Okay ngl this character design kinda slaps. Firstly, I love that Aether has long hair, it’s a good contrast to Lumine’s cut (and contrast should be super important with characters that are siblings/parallels of one another) and idk long braids are kinda cool. I love that the outfit has distinctive colors, which give the character personality and keeps him from being washed out. The design is much more streamlined than Lumine’s, and although I’m not a huge fan of midrifts (a theme in this post I’m sorry) there’s not actually much I’d change in this design. Except maybe make the cape a scarf to better match with Lumine. This is definitely the superior design in terms of the siblings in my opinion and I think the lack of intricacy fits the image of “traveler” better. It’s not my favorite and there isn’t anything that really stands out in the design, but it’s really solid and I like it.

Rating: 9/10

Character: Albedo

This design has a lot of potential, but I think in the end it’s just a bit too busy (which will be a theme in this game haha). I like the hair - in general I’m glad Genshin isn’t scared to try a bunch of different lengths and styles on guys because if not everything would become painfully boring. I also like the clothes for the most part. The boots are especially sleek, and I like that despite being a Geo character they gave Albedo a bluer, darker color scheme. I think it fits with his mysterious sort of quietly menacing vibe (this man is Frankensteining something I know it). But it really starts to get a bit too much with the coat. I think he needed a coat, again it fits the character, he’s in the middle of a frozen tundra and he’s also a magic scientist man, he needs some sort of coat. But I think the chain and the strap across the front is a bit too much. If I were the designers I would’ve continued with a sleeker theme, make the sleeves longer, the gloves shorter, if you wanted some ornamentation maybe a pack of vials on his belt. Overall very good design, greater color scheme, too busy. Also can we appreciate his banner art? It’s so good I love it.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Amber

Okay first I’m gonna say her card art is super cute. Love the pose, love the style. All gut. Now let me say that this outfit had potential but then it sorta... fell flat. I like the color scheme for the most part, except the white cause idk white is boring and in the game it looks kinda latexy, but I understand wanting three colors and black might be too close to brown. That being said, I hate stockings. Stockings are just the worst, they’re impractical, hard to put on, uncomfortable, should only be worn with dresses. No knight of Favonius needs stockings. Might I suggest pants or shorts? Or like cool pseudo armor plates like with Lumine. Also though I do like the jacket and the leather stomacher design, I think a bomber jacket might suit the character better, because idk they’re cool and they make me think of Amelia Earheart, although that’s such a culturally distinct thing I can’t blame them for not thinking that way. Again the jacket is still very cool, love the stomacher, and love the cuffs.. The belt is lovely and like I said love the embossed designs, but ultimately this design is too impractical, and too bland to get away with being impratical for me. So... yeah.

Rating: 5/10

Character: Barbara

Barbara! Our fav crazy nun. First I’m gonna thank her for having an attack of pure magic then I’m gonna say I hate the color white apparently because I also didn’t like it here. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be a novice (could be wrong), so I’d flip the colors, have the accents be white and the main color navy. But idk that’s just me. Overall I quite like her design. It’s a pretty good balance between simple and detailed. I don’t even hate the stockings. I’d say the least good part is the top, the bow and the weird collar is just... ehh? but I don’t think getting rid of the collar would help though. I’d say ditch the bow, make the dress connect to the collar, keep the off the shoulders cold sleeves. I really like the ruffled part of the top skirt. Idk it’s the best part of the design. The hat makes her look like a nurse not a nun though. maybe make the hair ties for the ponytails little veils, might fit better. Overall mostly nitpicks, it’s a strong design.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Beidou

Firstly I’d like to apologize to the Beidou I pulled before never using her (forgive me ily); next I’d like to admit I don’t love her design. I haven’t really harped on the lack of armor on these characters - because I’m not sure how I’d integrate armor into all them without making them bland af, no one wants people running around in full plate armor how tf you supposed to climb in that - but I still wouldn’t’ve put her in a leotard and boots only when she’s a canonical fighter, without even the armor accents on most of the other character. I know that traditional qipao would probably be terrible to fight in, so I’m not going to complain about them slitting it - I actually quite like it I think it’s cool and sleek and fits her vibe - but I will complain about them putting her in a leotard underneath. As someone who dances I can assure you no one in their right mind would want to fight in a leotard, which yes I know isn’t the point and I can’t blame them for not thinking that way. Anyways, I think leggings/stockings and tall boots are quite cool so that’s prolly what I’d do, streamlines the whole design too, gives it a sense of connectivity (idk I’m weird and I don’t look at this character often so yeah). I like the top of her design, although I’d prolly replace the fur on the cap with a large collar, sort of pirate-y or Navy-like. Also let me just say I love the hair and eye patch. Fits her reckless sort of character to hate her hair whipping around, and the eyepatch really sells the concept of her having fought for years. The hand guards didn’t need to be flared, but I don’t mind them being there. Especially since handling a Claymore would definitely rip up your hands if you didn’t have protection. Also the boots though impractical are very cool so... yeah.

Rating: 6/10

Character: Bennett

One of my main team and prolly the closest thing I currently have to a DPS I have conflicting opinions on Bennett’s design. I think it’s a pretty good design all things considered. His belt and all his packs would be busy if you didn’t know Bennett’s character, but considering he’s a wanna be adventurer, I think it works pretty well. Although I don’t know why his extra belt straps are so long... or even exist?? Idk kinda weird. His top is... ehh? I don’t really like it, I think partially because I don’t think Bennett would wear a midrift shirt like this (midrifts where there shouldn’t be midrifts or, as I like to call it, being MagiReco-d) and partially cause the color, though understandable in such a busy design, is kinda bland. I think that’s why the collar works instead of being too busy, we needed some color. If I had to changed the design I’d get rid of the midrift and get rid of those weird extra belt things. Also that one random dagger star thing on one side of his blue collar is just so weird and random and like why does it exist? But overall I like the design, and it doesn’t bug me when I’m playing with him. I think it’s a good example of how busyness can accurately portray a character. Well done.

Rating: 8/10

Character: Chongyun

Another character who I own but have never played, though my friend has him on their main team and they look super cool. I’m not gonna lie I love this character’s design. Firstly the color palette is so good, the white feels like it works to offset all the blue hues - which I love that even the darkest parts of his design are blue not black - so it doesn’t feel bland or irritating, especially with the gold giving it a sense of luxury. I also like the choice to have a tunic that extends to the pants, I think having only white pants would be too bland - again white it a meh color for designs - so it really gives it some necessary details and color. I also like the jacket, again it gives the design a sense of detail while being simple enough not to feel like too much. Also I have no idea what the outfit would look like without the jacket and I have a feeling that answer would be Not Good, so... yeah. Some nitpicks; the left arm band thingie golden cuff is kinda too much and seems impractical and irritating. And... that’s it. I know the slippers are impractical, but I think they work, he is an exorcist not an adventurer after all. Overall, probably second favorite design in the game. Great job

Rating: 10/10

Character: Diluc

Give Diluc a high ponytail, I’m begging you. Lol anyways personal preference aside (which is impossible this entire post is personal preference) I like this design. I think the color works and the whole outfit is a good reflection of Diluc’s character, closed off, luxurious while also a bit ragged and uncontrollable. Yeah. I like it. I do think the thing chain accessory is kinda random, and I don’t think there’s anything about the design that knocks me off my feet, but I do really love the design overall. Also the gloves, good gloves. Suggestions? High ponytailed Diluc. Nothing else. Also though he’s not in this post I like that this outfit is very streamlined and simple compared to Kaeya, it’s a good portrayal of their differing views and opinions through fashion. Because unlike with the traveller siblings I think these brothers have a dynamic where contrast is better than parallel.

Rating: 9/10

Character: Diona

Okay so though I’ve never interacted with this character I skimmed the wiki and I love her backstory it’s hilarious. Also since I never interact with her I don’t have many opinions about her design except why does she only have one sock on? Honestly relatable moments. I think the extra ponytail is kinda weird and excessive considering the hat and I’d prolly make the hair orange to match the ears but overall very cute design. What do bartenders look like? Idk. Oh and also there are a bit too many colors roaming around, but I get it. Overall fairly generic but kinda cute. I still think midrifts are bad.

Rating: 7/10

And that’s it! I hope this didn’t come off as “lol these designs are gross and I’m superior and we should fix them” because no. No one should take any of these suggestions seriously. Except maybe the ponytail one lol. Anyways I hope at least one person likes this cause this took forever and I kinda burned out after a while. Next post if I make it will be interesting cause it includes my least favorite design. May you all have lovely playing and if you love a design I don’t honestly more power to you. Bye!!

[avoutput]

Bimmy & Jimmy Lee || Double Dragon

One million weekends ago, before I was a teenager, before the word tween existed, I had a problem to solve. There was a saying, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your friend’s parents.” These parents paid attention to sugar content, video game violence, prohibited “The Simpsons”, and had eagle eye focus on movie ratings. Before Netflix, the casual weekend sleepover consisted of a trip to pick up some pizza and make a stop at the Blockbuster. Over the years, I had curated a list of films that would make it past the prying eyes of helicopter parents. Now, if you have seen Double Dragon, you might be thinking that this movie is tame and lacks substance, but there was nothing like seeing Power Ranger style fight scenes, the man behind the Terminator 2’s T1000, massive explosions, Blade Runner’s Los Angeles, and finally Alysa Millano in a crazy getup that made her look absolutely thicc. But alas, this film was PG-13! Luckily, it could be found in the children's section, which was just enough lubrication to pass right through the parental units security system. And now, watching this with a critical eye as an adult, it really went above and beyond to give you a top notch fantasy that most other films in this line never imagined. It is with mad respect that I say, Double Dragon is a bomb ass kids film.

This movie is nothing like the video game. The story of the original game was very simple. You are brothers, Billy aka Bimmy and Jimmy Lee. Billy’s girlfriend Marion is kidnapped by the Black Warriors, a street gang. The brothers Lee fight through Neo New York to get her back. The movie is bonkers by comparison. What it lacks in preservation, it makes up for with sheer imagination. The premise of the film is completely rooted in this neo Los Angeles (New Angeles in the film) that mirrors a quirkier version of Blade Runner’s LA. The film lives and breathes in all these little details that are totally clunky and you might even say unnecessary, but this film is a soup, one little thing missing and it might not make a huge difference, but together they make an umami broth. The deepest aspect of this stew is the constant earthquakes that plague New Angeles and which also presumably sank Hollywood to the point that they have boat tours of old institutions like the top of Mann’s Chinese Theater, left cresting just above the water. Everywhere they go there are these building stabilizers that need to be pumped to keep the roof over their head, which may or may not be real science. All of the cars rely on fuel made up of garbage that you can grab right off the refuse filled streets. These details can be easily overlooked and undervalued, but it creates a great deal of the flavor for the film. They make up for the flimsy plot and the child-directed acting. They surround the meat of a normal film and make it into something you can really chew on.

As for the construction and delivery, we might have on our hands here a film that has the most kid movie tropes in a single film. Ever. I tried to write a list, but it seemed endless, and all of them are used on the fly while moving the story forward. For instance:

Infiltrating the bad guys office through the AC trope

Trying to steal something off the bad guys desk from above through the AC grate trope

Falling through the ceiling when caught trope

Turbine fan sucking people in trope

And that's just the progression of a single scene. People slip on gumballs in the middle of a fight for god’s sake! Tropes propagate in every corner of the film. You could even make a drinking game out of one. The brothers do this celebratory handshake where they make a fist with one hand and an open palm with the other and punch into each other. Every time the brothers Lee do their childish handshake, take a shot. You will be way more drunk in the back half, by then it gets pretty intense. I wish I could accurately describe the saturation of kids entertainment nonsense that propels this movie, but suffice it to say, it has it all.

This certainly wasn’t the most compelling children's film of the time, Disney was right in the middle of its animated renaissance and was consistently acclaimed. Live action, low budget kids films were a dime a dozen as well, and most of them were pretty awful. But when it comes down to it, Double Dragon has a consistent, cohesive vision glued together by a living, breathing, cheesy world. It's all in the little details. Like replacing payphones with oxygen stations and having two businessmen fight over it. And like all kids films, they leave the kids feeling empowered. The police are too scared to go out at night to fight the gangs, so a group of teens and tweens called “The Power Corps” decide to take back the streets. Now, what this actually looks like is a little unclear, but they do try to teach kids that corporations are generally the root of all evil, revealing that the corporations own the gangs and pay them to keep people scared. That too is a 90’s kids trope. It was always street gangs and corporate big wigs.

The action and setpieces are campy, or maybe you would just call it corny, and they could have been a little better in some places, but most of the time they are satisfying. This film famously set a Cleveland river on fire and created a giant explosion that had actual citizens calling emergency services. The costumes were the envy of young tweens yearning to hang out at a locker between classes for the first time. You would never find those threads in the store, but you had this feeling that there was some secret store in the mall that only kids 13 and up could find. If you pay attention to all the extras, you will notice absolutely zero consistency in their clothing choices. Sometimes the bad guys are dressed both like clowns and librarians in the same scene. On the other hand, the cool kids in the film have an amazing secret base that the adults don’t have access to, it's truly like bringing to life the feeling of playing at the McDonalds playplace. Double Dragon delivers a feeling more than anything. Maybe it is a feeling kids today can’t even imbibe, their world seems so different, but I think even without the context of the game, this would still make a good late night movie at any sleepover.

Finally, on the fan service front, because there is so little preservation, you aren’t going to find very much unless you are hardcore fan. Alyssa Milano’s character is named Marion, the name of Billy’s kidnapped girlfriend in the game. At one point, the gang runs into the Double Dragon arcade cabinet. Abobo makes a very strange appearance in a grotesque getup that you will wish you could forget. If there was much more than this, I really couldn’t put my finger on it. Everything else is probably too small or trivial.

When it comes to making a video game film, this leaned much more heavily on the originality side than preservation, but it had a sturdy construction and delivery that more than makes up for its lack of fan service. Looking through the list of other live action Hollywood films, it’s looking like it will be the last film to balance with this formula, even though this is only the second film in this series. I think the single minded focus on being a fun kids film outweighs its need to mimic the game, which was honestly fine for me then and now. They could have made a rated R version of this that took the whole thing seriously, and that might have fared better, but it's really hard to say. Sci-Fi adult action films of the time were very hit or miss. Back then, video games were for kids, despite their stories and presentation being mature, so this was probably the only way to get the film off the ground. I won’t claim that Double Dragon is the best kids action film of its day, but it definitely has more kids action film in it than any other kids action film. If you weigh the film against something like Titanic, it's going to sink, but put it in the ring punching at its own weight, it's going to be a contender. Two fist pumps way up.

[blackbatpurplecat]

Catwoman 80th Anniversary

In 1940, one of the now most popular comic book heroes of all time got his very first solo run. It would become a milestone in comic book history. But he wasn’t the only one who had a chance to shine. In that premiere issue, even TWO of his most famous antagonists would be introduced: The man who laughs and the woman who steals.

That woman was intended to become the love of the hero’s life. The good guy and the naughty girl, the appeal was palpable. However, she wasn’t just a love interest or a generic thief or only another villain in the ever growing gallery of rogues the hero would face over decades to come, no - she was quite the character.

Her first alias was “The Cat” which would ultimately become Catwoman. Selina Kyle, the best thief in the world, a literal cat burglar, a classy seductress and queen of sass. And fans loved her so much that over time, she grew to become just as famous as the hero.

Her story has had its ups and downs. Mostly ups. ;) Going from the pages of the comics to the little and the big screen in the 60s, then she disappeared for a while, then made a comeback. She married the hero and had a child, though that marriage was later rebooted and was followed by a depressing origin story a sexist author made up for her in the 80s.

The 90s then turned out to be her decade! She found herself on the TV screen again, animated this time. She was portrayed by a Golden Globe winner on the big screen again. And she finally got her very own solo run in comics.

Her solo title was successful enough to run for over 20 years, a time in which her development from antagonist to anti-heroine would pan out. She would be a member of several teams, dance on both sides of the law, and even have another child. The screen called her back in form of a movie and a tv show. In one she was a thief with a love for killing, in the other a teenager. And we already know that her movie career will soon continue with two more projects.

In 2016, DC rebooted their entire universe. Catwoman’s origin story was changed, her relationships were lost, her solo run got canceled. No one knew what was real anymore - and fans didn’t like it. Only a year later, a retcon followed in a pathetic attempt to restore a status quo fans were familiar with and approved of. Even her solo run came back and today, in June 2020, we celebrate her 80th anniversary!

Catwoman is my favorite DC character ever. She’s clever, she’s funny, she’s stubborn, she’s classy, she’s confident, she plays by her own rules. When written right, she is such an entertaining character, unpredictable and fun.

In 80 years, there have been countless appearances, so many incarnations and interpretations of her - sure, I didn’t like all of them but you can say there’s something for each one of us. You don’t like her in the 2010s? Check out the 90s. You don’t like her in the 40s? Check out the 80s. There’s a version of Catwoman for many different tastes. She never goes out of fashion.

So to celebrate one of DC’s most famous women, they published a collection of 10 stories in total, written and drawn by people who have had touched her character over the past years.

Did Catwoman 80th Anniversary - Celebrating Eight Decades of Beauty and Burglary do her justice?

Warning: Spoilers!

Let’s check out each story and see what the writers came up with for this very special occasion. Except for one, none of these are meant to be canon, it’s just a collection of shorts meant to emphasise why Catwoman is so good. Something I noticed was that each writer had not picked any Catwoman to write but “their” Catwoman. A nice detail. Consistency, why not? Write what you feel comfortable and familiar with. This can only help with the quality of the stories, right? ... Right? ...

Strap in folks, this is going to be a LOOOOONG post!

Story #1: Skin the Cat by Paul Dini

Selina’s just living her normal life with her cats, occasionally stealing some money and jewels. Hey, a girl’s gotta eat. ;) What catches her attention are news reports about stolen big cats. I’m a cat lover myself and this series of crimes would worry me just as much as it worries Selina. She deduces where in Gotham someone could hide those wild cats, breaks in, and is welcomed by an eerie voice - as well as the taxidermied cats. Fucking bastard... The villain Taxidermist, quelle surprise, is behind the cat murders. He now intends to gas Selina and add her to his cat collection but Selina reveals that she’d already turned off the gas before breaking in. She escapes his long knives and watches as three big cats she had brought with her attack and kill him.

What an intro! A story about Selina’s love for cats and her strategic thinking. I really liked the first half! But once the Taxidermist shows up, it loses itself in drawn out exposition. Selina goes on a long monologue to explain to the reader who the Taxidermist is, how she knew it was him, how she turned off the gas, and how she replaced three of the dead cats with alive ones. I would have preferred to actually SEE her preparations for the face-off in flashback panels instead of having to read it. It didn’t feel natural at all. Also how the fuck did she bring 3 wild cats and switch them for the stuffed ones?! How?! And when?! I’m also quite sad that she didn’t get to save the cats. That was a bummer. So all she basically did was bring 3 big cats to kill a killer.

The art’s gorgeous, nothing else to say here!

6/10

Story #2: Now You See Me by Ann Nocenti

Ann Nocenti’s name immediately made me go uh-oh... Her bad and convoluted writing style made readers drop the Catwoman books which eventually lead to the solo run’s cancelation so you can understand why I was concerned.

So Catwoman is hiding a little pouch in a pigeon loft on a roof while pondering who to sell her stolen goods to - as well as where to vacation afterwards. She then notices a surveillance camera. The scene cuts to two cops on surveillance duty. They’re both bored as hell so when one spots Selina, he quickly distracts his colleague and leaves to find her. He takes the pouch out of the pigeon loft and a fight between him and Catwoman ensues. He reveals that he wants to become her partner. He wants to feed her any intel he can see on his screens so she could steal and sells some goods, and they’d split the money. When Selina refuses, he tries to blackmail her into complying. Selina presses a button on a little device and whatever’s in the pouch the cop sacked, explodes, sending him over the edge. Luckily, he lands on an umbrella Penguin had sent off apparently because we see him in one panel, angered that his plan was foiled. I’m not entirely sure what his “brilliant plan” was supposed to be. Something with gas tanks that were strapped to the umbrella I assume? I have no idea.

This one is missing too much context for my taste. What was in the pouch? Did the explosion kill the guy? What was Penguin doing there? What was his plan? Why did we need the second cop? For a super obvious but unnecessary parallel between Catwoman vs. corrupt cop and random woman vs. random man on one of the surveillance screens? Why give Catwoman so little “screen time” and so little dialogue? Is this short story referencing anything from Nocenti’s awful run and I just forgot? To quote Val Kilmer Batman: “It just raises too many questions.”

The art’s okay, nothing too special.

3/10

Story #3: Helena by Tom King

Oh boy. This is the big one. The one everyone’s been waiting for, I guess. The man who not so long ago had promised us a BatCat wedding just to shove a huge middle finger in our faces, promised us a pregnant Selina this time. I was skeptical of course. Also other readers were convinced he’d just let Selina have a miscarriage. Well, the good news is it wasn’t a miscarriage. The bad news is he almost makes Selina seem like she would have preferred a miscarriage.

The story goes like this: Selina hasn’t been feeling well so instead of going to a doctor like a normal person, Bruce scans her head and checks her vitals and blood (I can only assume because we’re not shown). Selina’s convinced that she’s seriously ill but a gentle, hopeful smile on Bruce’s face reveals the actual truth: She is pregnant. And her first reaction is shock and denial. We cut to BatCat fighting Tweedledum and Tweedledee (I think, you can’t really see them but the two men they knock out look identical). Selina then bends over and says that she’s about to throw up. Followed by a Batbucket joke. I’m getting so tired of all the forced self-awareness, guys. We cut to Catwoman, now sporting a baby bump underneath the skin-tight leather, sitting on a roof. She prepares a glass of wine while telling the baby that it is just like Bruce and it’s such a dick for taking away her freedom. After one sip, she chucks the glass away and curses. We’re then treated to a montage of BatCat fighting several rogues while Selina’s belly grows with each panel until it’s an 8, maybe 9 months along belly. I... I have no words. Except for yes, this was written by a man. BatCat are then standing on a roof and Selina laments that she’s a thief, not a mother, and the baby will derail her life and plans. The scene switches to Bruce and Selina in bed, arguing because she’s in labor. Bruce is ready to roll while Selina is STILL in denial, crying that she’s not a mother, that she’s not a hero or a good and brave person like him. Bruce tells her she didn’t run off so that means she’s a good person and they agree that it’s time to have the baby. Another cut to Selina having to take care of a crying baby Helena, asking why she’s crying when it’s Selina’s turn to stay at home and not Bruce’s. Selina talks to Helena, saying she’s luckier than Selina was because Selina’s mom ran off. She fucking FINALLY says something nice about her own child (”You’re a cute little kitten.”) and wonders what they’re going to do with her. The last page is old Selina and grownup Helena after Bruce’s death. Selina’s complaining about the pretty cemetery while Helena likes it. Her daughter’s ability to not shit on just everything and not be a total killjoy all the time causes Selina to say again that Helena is like Bruce. Upon Helena’s question if she’s anything like her mother, Selina answers that she’s just as stubborn as her. If she wants something, she steals it. Helena asks what she ever stole and Selina delivers the last predictable cliche of the story: “You stole my heart.”

Ugh. King’s Selina is just such a boring read. She’s not charming or interesting or sympathetic. Maybe I’m too used to a fun Selina but this one’s just a drag. A heavily pregnant Catwoman fighting Joker, yeah sure, totally not absolute bullshit. And the way Selina keeps distancing herself from the child inside her? For over 9 months?! Is she going out in that ridiculous catsuit because she wants to cause a miscarriage, is that it? So she doesn’t have to make a decision like abortion, adoption or leaving the baby with Bruce? Her constant cussing over the situation and crying and whining turns the pregnancy of my favorite DC couple into such a depressing ordeal.

The art is very pretty! Thank God.

4/10

Story #4: The Catwoman of Earth by Jeff Parker

After the depressing pregnancy of Catwoman, we switch to the wacky 60s version of her. Catwoman and her henchmen are robbing a science fair when suddenly, a UFO arrives. WTF?! Four aliens and a robot are beamed down to the surface and the group’s leader, an arrogant jock-like guy proclaims that they will take over the planet and enslave humanity. Catwoman angrily stands up to him. Turns out the evil aliens are sexist too when the male one tells Catwoman females have to ask for permission to speak and the female alien in the group unhappily agrees. The jock alien tells the muscly male alien to dispose of Catwoman but she’s not easy to dispose of! She fights off the brawler, she cuts the tentacles off the tentacle alien (someone WILL jerk off to that one panel), dodges the jock’s laser gun, steals the laser gun with her whip, shoots the robot to bits, and lets the police take the males away. The female alien seems much happier now and invites Catwoman to a flight around the world in the UFO. Catwoman suggests a trip to Paris so she can loot the Louvre.

Aliens and Catwoman don’t mix. I didn’t really care for this story. I mean it’s great to see Catwoman in action and taking down four guys on her own but... aliens and Catwoman just don’t mix. It was a bit jarring to me. Also the aliens’ designs weren’t super interesting. They were basically pink elves.

The art is beautiful. Catwoman looks like Julie Newmar and the entire color scheme is very 60s.

4/10

Story #5: A Cat of Nine Tales by Liam Sharp

Catwoman’s caught stealing a diamond necklace by an armed security guard. He seems a bit scared of her but knows it’s his job to stop her. She’s not engaging in a fight - of course not, he has a gun pointed at her! So instead, Catwoman relies on her talking skills. And intimidation skills. She tells the guard that there are 9 ways their situation could play out: 1. The guard lets her tie him up and escape with the necklace. 2. She beats his ass. 3. He kills her. 4. She scratches his eyes out. 5. He slips and gets knocked out. 6. He fires his gun, misses her, and the bullet ricochets until it kills him.  7. They team up. 8. She gives up. 9. She kills him. However, the story ends with the guard fainting because Catwoman’s just so damn scary.

Very short, very simple. Even the art is simple, on one page there are 3 very similar panels with only minor changes. Nothing memorable but not too bad. It shows how Catwoman can take someone out even without touching them. It’s okay.

The art reminds me of a comic from the 80s or maybe 90s. Hard to describe why. Guess you have to see it. Again, it’s okay.

5/10

Story #6: Little Bird by Mindy Newell

Selina learns from a news report that a priceless mezuzah has been found at a flea market. It’s currently at the Jewish Museum of Gotham City and Selina immediately steals it. Later, Batman shows up at her place and asks why she wants the mezuzah. She doesn’t give him much of an answer so he leaves. Pretty pointless scene I would say. A flashback reveals that a young Selina used to live with a Jewish lady. I dunno, I guess she’s a foster mother? And the woman liked Selina so much and considered her family so she gave her that mezuzah to pass it on to her own kids one day (even though Selina doesn’t want kids, is not related to the lady, and isn’t Jewish). Back to the present, Selina’s punishing a client. That prostitute background made an unwanted comeback for this story because Selina’s resisting and denying herself love so she’s “whoring”, to prove to herself how despicable she is. Okay...? There’s an inner turmoil going on, she’s torn between selling the artefact or not. Eventually, she decides to bring the mezuzah back to the lady she used to live with. The lady’s grown old and demented, lives in a home and is at the verge of dying. Selina places an envelop between the lady’s hands and leaves. The home’s director finds the envelop which contains the mezuzah, an official document which basically ensures that the lady will be taken care of before and after her death, and a poetic note from Selina.

My least favorite story out of them all - and that is quite an accomplishment when there are King and Nocenti in the same book! It had that Frank “I’m an insane sexist racist asshole” Miller prostitute bullshit in it and Selina hating herself again. This time, the “whoring” (and this word is not me, it’s from the actual story) is used as a way of self-punishment. Because it’s disgusting and wrong and Selina only does it to torture herself. Dunno if that’s the right message you wanna send here... The Jewish lady was kinda random to me because Selina’s not Jewish and never has been Jewish. This is not a negative point, it’s just so random. And the Batman scene was pointless, I have no idea what purpose it served. Except for showing us Batman pay Selina like a john and having Selina make jokes about “whoring.” Ugh.

The art was great, very clean.

1/10

Story #7: Born to Kiln by Chuck Dixon

Going from my least favorite to my favorite story in this book!

Catwoman knows there’s a diamond in a safe on a boat that is set to leave the harbour in the morning. So she climbs aboard at night to steal the gem. She finds several dead sailors and they’re all covered in mud. Who could have done this? Yes, you guessed right - it’s Clayface! He’s already at the safe, opens it, and retrieves the big stone. Catwoman reveals herself and aims a fire hose at him. Her confidence, however, dies the moment the hose doesn’t work. Clayface swallows the diamond and starts chasing after her. There’s apparently a machine to spray-paint cars on the boat so she lures him inside, activates the paint to blind him, and the hot lamps for the drying process immobilise the big pile of mud. Now that he’s nothing more than hard clay, Catwoman takes a wrench to him and takes the freed diamond.

FINALLY a story I really, really like from beginning to end! First off, IT’S PURPLE CATWOMAN!!! Selina is wearing my favorite costume, the iconic Jim Balent suit from her 90s solo run in this story - and I LOVE IT!!! Yeah, her boobs are quite loose in it and sometimes dangle in strange ways but fuck it! LOL I prefer hanging boobs over a tight corset that should reduce her agility or a back breaking pose anytime! We get sneaky Selina, we get playful Selina, we get over confident Selina who has to think fast and run even faster, and she gets what she wants in the end without killing anyone.

The art is gorgeous! It’s very fluid and alive. I also absolutely adore the cute facial expressions on Kitten’s face, especially when she locks Clayface in. I miss Catwoman being fun. In this, she’s just adorable and not sexualised at all.

8/10

Story #8: Conventional Wisdom by Will Pfeifer

Selina finds herself at a Bat Con and is supposed to give autographs. The whole scenario seems weird and confusing to her, she doesn’t remember how she got there or what is going on. Bruce, Joker, Riddler, and Two-Face being there with her to give autographs is even weirder. And why does no one except for her react to that unconscious, bloody man on the floor?! On her way to her panel, she runs into several cosplayers which is basically only fan service. But you will find the male, dark-skinned version of me at her panel, asking when the fuck she will finally put that 90s suit back on!!! The dialogues keep breaking the fourth wall, pointing out that this story is about to end. One of the panel’s attendees looks like Marvel’s Taskmaster and another is Selina herself in her Catwoman suit. Selina slowly remembers what happened: The Taskmaster dude is Doctor Destiny, she broke into his lair and stole his reality distorter, a little machine she’s been carrying around for the entire story. She smashes the machine to wake up back in the lair and cracks her knuckles, ready to take down Doctor Destiny and his goons.

And it was all a dream! That twist has never been a favorite of mine. Even though it’s not really a twist; you know immediately that it’s a dream. We don’t learn anything new about Selina or see anything Catwoman-y in this. It’s really basically fan service. They wanted Selina to see and interact with real life fans of hers so they made it happen. She also comments on various versions of her costume. It’s cute but kinda forgettable.

The art is good, it’s rare to see light and bright colors in a Catwoman book so it was a nice change. And the cosplayers looked nice. But they could have used different body types to make the fans more diverse and visually appealing.

3/10

Story #9: Addicted to Trouble by Ram V

And here we are, the premiere of the duo that will take over Catwoman’s current solo run from #23 onward. We get a first taste of the writing and art and I must say it’s a good taste.

This short story serves as a continuation of Joelle Jones’ #21 issue where at the end of the arc, Selina and her sister Maggie left Gotham in a purple car. So we see a short recap of how they got the car and where they were headed but unfortunately, the engine dies. They hitchhike to Memphis. Selina’s frustrated that Maggie doesn’t talk to her. They get drunk and start a fight at a bar. The cops show up and arrest them. While sitting in the back of the cop car, the girls start laughing together and steal the car. They leave behind their luggage which only contains stuff they won’t miss - including Selina’s cat funeral dress. They drive back to Gotham, Selina steals food and drinks on the way, and they cuddle on a rooftop overlooking the city. The story cuts to Selina and Leandro, a character I would know if I had continued the Jones run. She tells him she wants to lay low for a while and stay out of trouble. When he asks “Oh? Really?”, Selina throws a naughty smile towards the reader. Yeah yeah, lay low my ass. :D

First off, I have no idea what happened before the road trip, I don’t know why they took it or why Maggie doesn’t talk or what the purpose of all of this was because all they do is get drunk, fight an entire bar, and go back. No idea what that accomplished. And I feel sorry for the car because it was so gorgeous. Anyway, I am happy to say that Ram V has a great writing style! He gave a good voice to Selina, it sounded very natural and like a human would talk, no forced exposition or fake deepness.

The art was good, there were a few expressive faces and the bar fight was well executed.

5/10 (because I don’t know the context)

Story #10: The Art of Picking A Lock by Ed Brubaker

Instead of ending with a transition to the next Catwoman issue (which I would have preferred), the collection offers one more story and it’s written by the man who successfully handled the second half of Selina’s first solo run. He turned her stories more into the film noir direction and gave her sidekicks. The run also gave her a fugly suit and made her have sex with old men and Brubaker wanted to kill her off and have her not know who the father to her unborn child was so... yeah, I’m torn about that guy.

The last story shows us Catwoman breaking into a warehouse full of Joker goons while thinking about the thrill of breaking locks and how she learned how to do it when she was at a juvenile detention center. She beats them all up and demands to know where “he” is. Later, her friend Holly is on a motorcycle chasing after a cab while Catwoman is riding on top of a subway. Both reach Gotham’s harbor. We see that the cab is filled with Joker gas and the driver is laughing maniacally. Holly can’t reach the cab in time and it drives off into the water. Catwoman swings down and jumps after it. She breaks the trunk open and reveals a handcuffed Slam Bradley. Cut to the three back on dry land. Holly chides him for going after Joker alone and not waiting for backup. He admits that it was dumb, then shares intel on where Joker will strike and Selina should tell “her friend.” She says she will and Slam ends the book with the words that he could really use a cigarette. NO, this book was not that good that it would warrant a cigarette at the end!

This short obviously takes place during the second half of the first solo run. We see Catwoman in action, that’s cool. Taking down almost a dozen of armed Joker henchmen, that’s pretty badass! And a woman saves the man damsel in distress at the end, that’s a nice ending as well. However, I don’t care about the costume so the visual appeal wasn’t there and I really don’t care about Slam Bradley so the reveal at the end was pretty ugh to me.

The art is great! It’s like a modernised/smoother version of Darwyn Cooke’s style, the artist Brubaker worked on the Catwoman title in the 00s with. So that gives it a pretty nostalgic feel. 

5/10

In addition to the 10 stories we’ve now covered, there are pages to show off the Catwoman costumes of each decade as well as pinups. The costume pages are designed in the decade’s style (the 40s are black and white, the 60s psychedelic etc). But what I don’t get about the 90s one: It’s purple Catwoman grayed out in the background and gray BTAS Catwoman in color in the foreground - why make the purple outfit gray when you have an already gray outfit?! Just switch them! Also who put together the 70s one, couldn’t they find better costume examples?!

The seven pinups are pretty, unfortunately the majority feature the black outfits. I was surprised that even Tim Sale drew the black costume and not the purple one from his Long Halloween series. We get one of the gray BTAS costume and Jim Balent thankfully gives us BatCat with his purple creation. Nice!

Well, looking back at my personal scores for this collection of stories, Catwoman’s anniversary issue reached a total of 44/100 points in my book. Wow. That’s... not that good.

Most of the stories ranged from average to bad. Nothing spectacular, nothing memorable. There’s a lack of witty dialogue, Catwoman’s rarely fun to watch. In six stories she’s seen fighting, in three she’s seen being chased so I’m missing the variety here. I would assume you can do more with Catwoman than that. She often rather fights instead of using her wits and smarts. And actual cats are only featured in two stories but in one they die and in the other, Selina says she should drown them. -_- 

A collection of 10 new stories was a great idea but celebrating the character this is not. I’m happy that the next writer for Catwoman left a positive impression on me and the story feat. Balent’s Catwoman was a delight. However, the writers didn’t really bring their “A” game for this anniversary issue which is disappointing.

Would I recommend it? Hmmm. It pains me to say: not really, no. You don’t miss much by skipping it. You don’t miss sassy lines or breathtaking art, you don’t miss out on funny scenes or emotional depth. This anniversary issue is merely average and I highly doubt I’ll go back to reread it.

(a huge THANK YOU to everyone who read this entire, way too long post! i highly appreciate it 💜you’re a real trooper!)

[need-a-fugue]

We Grow Together (4)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC

Summary: Relationships can be tough, especially when one person is a recovering-from-being-brainwashed-and-tortured former assassin and the other is an overworked mutant scientist. But hey, every couple has their struggles. Right?

Warning(s): some angst, some emotional and mental turmoil… some bad language words… much fluff

Chapter Summary: Rescuing hostages from a cartel stronghold deep in hostile territory... what could possibly go wrong?

The debrief only lasts about an hour, the plan seeming fairly simple. “It’s a basic hostile extraction,” Steve tells them all, as though that’s supposed to mean something to her.

She raises her hand. “Non-military personnel requesting clarification, sir,” she says with more than a hint of sarcasm.

He rolls his eyes rather dramatically. “We go in, fight the bad guys, and get the family out.”

“Yeah,” she drawls. “I kind of assumed that was the plan. What do you guys do in here for hours on end if it’s not planning a mission? Are you just hiding away, playing Call of Duty or something?”

“I don’t know what that means,” Steve tells her as he starts to pull up multiple screens at once.

The center of the table is alight with various holograms when Bucky leans over and whispers to her, “Stevie’s very thorough. If a plan is what you want…” He leans back and indicates the satellite images and redacted official files on display before them.

As it turns out very thorough is a bit of an understatement. The hour they spend going over mission details is very possibly the most chock-full-of-information-she’ll-never-remember hour of Tessa’s life. And she went to medical school. But everyone seemed to at least have an idea of what they needed to.

The missions she’d done with the X-Men – and frankly it feels wrong to refer to them as missions as they always seemed more like random pop-up battles or peace-keeping initiatives – were very different from this. For one thing, their mission planning sessions usually consisted of Logan and Scott arguing about the best way to get there as everyone else watched in annoyance. Winging it was more their style. Maybe it was because they had powers that, for the most part, were difficult to counter. Maybe it was just because none of them had ever been in the military, let alone led soldiers into battle. Whatever the reason, the fighting style that had been bred into her stood out in rather stark contrast to that of her current cohorts.

“Here,” Bucky utters absently as he hands her a 9mm. He’d been loading every nook and cranny of his suit with weapons while Tessa stood nearby, leaning on the wall of the jet, waiting not-so-patiently for them to get the show on the road.

She glances down at the gun in his hand, but makes no move to take it, her arms still crossed over her chest. “No thank you,” she says simply.

He seals up a hidden pocket near his ankle where he just tucked away another small dagger before turning to face her with a confused look. “What do you mean no thank you?”

She pushes off of the wall as Sam sneaks by and she can’t help but check out his flashy new wings. Tony just can’t stop himself from innovating and upgrading everything that the team uses. It almost makes her wish she went into engineering or robotics instead of medicine. “Hm?” she mutters, turning her attention back to Bucky. “Oh, yeah. I don’t need that.”

“Yes you do,” he says definitively as he takes hold of her hand and places the handgun in it.

She turns it over in her hand, gives it a little bounce to feel the weight of it. “I really don’t,” she says shaking her head and extending her hand back out to him. “It’s heavy,” she says absently, holding it out for him to take.

“It’s a 9-mil,” he says confusedly.

“Okay.”

“You’ve never held a 9-mil before?” he asks her, as though everyone in the world has surely used a gun at one time or another.

“A 9-mil? No.” She reaches out and takes his metal hand, deposits the gun into it just as he had done to her a moment before. “I’ve never held any gun before.”

Sam’s the one who speaks next, whipping around to face her. “You’ve never held a gun before?” He turns to find Steve, who’s up in the cockpit, punching in coordinates. “Steve!” he calls out. “Do you hear this?”

“You can’t be serious,” Bucky says, voice low and disbelieving, mouth agape.

She shifts her stance and pulls at the tight almost leather-like fabric of her suit as it suctions to her shoulder. “No, actually, I did go skeet shooting once. I think. Maybe I dreamt that…” Her thoughts begin to wander as she snakes her hand down in between the suit and the top of her shoulder. “Flame retardant is nice, but he could’ve made this a little bit more… malleable,” she mutters to herself. The suit makes a slight popping sound as her fingers work beneath the fabric. “Is it too tight?” she asks Bucky. “It feels tight.”

He simply continues to stare at her, dumfounded.

“Steve,” Sam starts as the captain makes his way over. “She doesn’t know how to fire a weapon,” he says, voice more serious than she’s ever heard it. “Did you know that?”

“She’s fine. She doesn’t need a weapon,” he tells Sam, slapping him on the shoulder. “Now, if we’re all geared up, let’s do this.”

Tessa moves to take a seat as Steve heads back to the cockpit. Sam and Bucky are left lingering in the back, matching looks of horror on their faces. “But,” Sam murmurs, “She doesn’t have any gear.”

                                             000

The group moves in under the cover of darkness, dense tropical forest flanking the compound on every side. Bucky is able to rather quickly find a safe spot on higher ground where he can see over the walls and into the courtyard. He sets up two high-powered rifles, just in case.

Sam sets out to do some recon, but he’s limited on how lose he can get as floodlights are strategically placed at every corner of the compound. “I can’t get a great view,” he says, his voice filtering through their earpieces. “But if the layout’s the same as what was in the plans, then you two need to head for the southeast corner. It should be easier to get over the wall there.”

“Negative,” Bucky replies as he scans the area with his scope. “I’m blind to that corner.”

“I thought you found a good spot.”

“I did find a good spot. You’re choosing the one area blocked by overgrowth.” The very clear annoyance in his voice makes Tessa chuckle despite herself.

“Sam,” Steve pipes up, “If we head in through there, do we have a clear path to the hostages?” The hostages should be in a small interior room just off of the main kitchen, which is buried at the very center of the compound.

“I can’t tell for sure,” he says, dialing into the new tech in his visor as he goes in for another flyby. He can’t see actual bodies from the angle he’s forced to fly at, not with the way the roofs meet. So he switches over to infrared to search out heat signatures.

“I don’t like this,” Bucky mumbles across the comms.

“You worry too much,” Tessa says as she carefully navigates the terrain just behind Steve, methodically stepping into the giant footprints he leaves in the soil.

“Yeah, man,” Sam lets out. “They’ve got this.”

An odd grumbling sounds through the earpieces, and Steve and Tessa share a quick look and a laugh. “How long you think it’ll be before he shoots Sam down?” Steve asks.

“Five minutes, tops.”

“You know I can hear you, right?” Sam questions as he swoops down just above them.

“Try not to antagonize the sniper,” Steve says, his voice returning to the all-business captain. “What do you see?”

“You should be good,” Sam tells them. “Two guards at the corner. Take them out and you’ve got a clean path to the courtyard.”

“That courtyard’s filthy with hostiles,” Bucky intones, his voice calm and low as he continues his monitoring. “Even if we can distract some of them, you’ll still probably have to fight your way through. I’ll take out as many as I can when you come up.”

“Only take someone out if you have to,” Steve directs. “No unnecessary causalities.

“Steve,” he argues, words brimming with irritation, “There are at least fifteen guys in there and they’re all packing heat. Mostly Kalashnikovs, but I see at least two Uzis. Uzis, Steve. They’re not gonna let you just punch your way through.”

“Just use discretion,” he tells him in a huff. Then, “We’re moving in.”

The plan is to get in and out in no more than five minutes. Ideally, unseen, but unless they can manage a distraction big enough to get everyone out of the courtyard surrounding the house, and also clear out the house itself, that was unlikely to happen. That being said, a distraction of some sort is exactly what they need.

Sam sets down just outside of the exterior wall on the north end of the compound. He hunkers down next to some trees, just far enough away from the floodlights to remain cloaked in darkness. “I’m ready when you are,” he says.

“I feel like I’m going to regret this,” Tessa mumbles as she commando crawls to the compound. Between the black suit and her dark hair, she’s pretty well hidden. But in addition to the two guards inside the wall at this corner, there are two armed men patrolling from a balcony that runs around the third floor. If the light hits her right as one of them glances down, it’s all over.

“Don’t worry,” Steve says through the comms, still hanging back in the trees as she snakes closer. “I’ll be gentle.” There’s an unmistakably playful quality to his voice, and it in no way eases her concerns.

“I’ve heard that before,” she whispers, positioning herself about two feet out from the wall.

“Hold,” Bucky mutters as he keeps watch on the guards in the balcony. The moment they disappear around the southwest corner, he says simply, “Go.”

Tessa pulls herself up into a tabletop position and Steve sets off at a full run from the tree line. She closes her eyes and braces herself, and a small terrified squeak resounds through the comms as Steve zooms in. He bounds off her back, using the step she provides as leverage to make it to the top of the wall. He lands like a ninja, completely silent, and neither of the two guards below look up.

He’s just out of the light, but the men on the balcony will easily be able to pick him up – and pick him off – when they come back around the corner, so he’s got to move fast. He leans down over the wall, extending his hand as low as it’ll go and he nods at Tessa. She’s already about twenty feet back, readying herself to run full speed and at least try for a flying leap. She manages to get just high enough to grab onto his fingertips, but her feet lose purchase and quickly slide off the wall.

Steve’s grip is solid. He grasps her hand, holding tight, even as her body slams into the wall. He cringes and tosses a glance back behind him to see if the guards heard anything. But the wall is so solid that her relatively small frame barely made a sound in the collision. He hauls her up and takes just a second to steady her on the wall before finding his target. He drops down on top of one of the guards and puts him in a sleeper hold. The other turns to him, gun raised and ready to fire.

Without warning, the man drops. His body going limp and collapsing to the ground as though all the energy had just been drained from it. Steve looks up at Tessa and sees her sitting atop the wall, hand outstretched toward the prone man, a hint of blue sparks emanating from her fingertips.

“Thanks,” he says, dropping the now unconscious man from his hold and moving over to her. He opens his arms and she drops down into them.

“No problem,” she returns in a nasally voice. Blood is gushing from her nose and she’s blinking rapidly, trying to regain focus as she pinches it at the bridge.

“I hope you’re moving,” Bucky says with a sort of calm urgency.

Steve takes Tessa’s arm and pulls her over to an interior wall where they’ll be hidden from the guards above. “You okay?” he asks, hissing in pained solidarity as she slowly repositions her nose. There’s a long grind followed by a sharp crack, and she drops her head to his shoulder for just a moment to try and regather herself.

“Solid,” she mutters into him, her breath hitching.

“What happened?” Bucky asks, previously calm voice now peppered with concern.

“We’re good,” Steve replies simply. “Sam, we’re ready for you.”

“Copy that.”

An explosion is heard from the northern side of the property. Steve and Tessa huddle close together along the wall as shouts ring out from inside the building. They feel a breeze blow past them and look up to see Sam swoop down to land on the exterior wall they just came over. He points in the direction of the explosion, directing them to move through the path leading to the center courtyard. Steve squeezes Tessa’s hand in a silent you good? She returns the gesture, and the two start out along the path.

“We’ve got five remaining in the courtyard,” Bucky’s voice filters in through their earpieces.

“I can handle five,” Steve whispers.

“No you can’t,” he replies, watching and waiting for them to turn the corner. The minute he sees them in the periphery, he begins taking shots, nothing but a slight hiss emanating from the silenced rifle. He’s got two down by the time Steve’s actually in the courtyard, and he takes out a third while the captain disarms the other two men in rapid succession.

Steve looks back at the fallen targets. “Damnit, Buck, I told you I had them.”

“If one round got off, the rest of them would turn back and be on you in a minute flat,” he defends from his position on the hill. “Just get moving.”

“Who’s giving the orders around here?”

“Sorry,” he counters sarcastically. “From my vantage point, it seems like a good idea for you two to get moving, sir.”

Steve shakes his head and chuckles as he turns back to Tessa. “You know what to do?” She nods. “Just let me know if you see anyone coming my way.”

Steve’s on his own once he enters the house. They’re down to two minutes for the extraction, and that should be plenty of time provided the layout is as expected, the hostages are where they think they’ll be, no one catches him off guard as he moves to them, and they’re all mobile and capable of following his lead out the rear of the compound. So really, two minutes may well be next to impossible.

Tessa maneuvers out of the courtyard and around to the south side of the building where they plan to rendezvous for extraction. Bucky has a mostly clear view of that side, but he’s more focused on peering in the wall of windows as Steve makes his way through to the center of the home. “You look clear,” he tells him as he stares down his scope.

“Shit,” he hears Tessa mutter through the earpiece. He turns quickly to get her in his sights, and he sees a crazed looking man barreling towards her, rifle raised. Bucky panics and without taking proper aim, fires a single shot.

He misses completely – “Damnit” – and watches as the man collides with her. She gives a swift kick to his shoulder as they awkwardly go down, and his AK goes flying. For a brief moment, Bucky’s filled with pride. But it’s short lived. He watches as the assailant elbows her in the face, and he hears her pained grunt sound out over the comms as she fights back.

They’re just a tangle of body parts now, so he knows he can’t get off a good shot. He’s about to tell her to stand down, thinking that if she stops fighting maybe the man will sit upright and he can take him out. But before he can, the guy rolls off of her and scurries over to his felled rifle. He moves into a blind spot – “Shit” – where he’s partially hidden behind a row of pillars. Tessa pulls herself up and darts after him. “Wait!” Bucky calls out, knowing he’ll lose her back there too. “Get him out so I can get a shot.”

But she doesn’t get a chance to modify. She skids to a halt, stopping just between two pillars. He has a clear view of her, which means he also has a clear view of the muzzle of the AK-47 that’s pointed directly at her head, so close it’s nearly resting in her hair. He feels himself panic, those few seconds stretching out into a million. He’s desperately searching for a shot, but there’s nothing. He can’t find the target at all. All he can see is Tessa kneeling, gun at her head. He hears her let out a small, strained chuckle and his heart leaps into his throat.

Bang, bang! Two shots in rapid succession, fired right into her. His breath catches, heart stops.

“What was that?” Steve’s voice filters through the earpiece. “Report!”

Bucky moves the sight around, desperately searching for Tessa. He stills on blood pooling out from behind the pillar, moves the sight hesitantly, just barely, and sees the man’s seemingly lifeless arm on the ground. “I’m good,” he hears her say, not an ounce of fear to her voice.

Sam chimes in, and Bucky can see him swooping down from where he’d been perched on the roof. “Did you see that? Did anyone see that?!” He lands beside her and pulls her away through a separate doorway, fully aware that the gunshots will bring more commandos out of the compound. “That was… what did you do?”

Bucky can no longer see them, but he can almost hear the smile in her voice when she says, “Just because I’ve never fired a gun doesn’t mean I can’t use one.”

“She can redirect bullets,” Steve says sternly. “Now can we get back to business?”

Bucky, still barely breathing up on his hill, slowly moves his rifle back to the house to search for Steve. Just as he gets the sight pointed at the door, he sees Steve open it and peer slowly around the corner. There are two armed men quickly approaching from the rear. “I’ve got you,” Bucky says as he takes aim. Two quick, solid shots and they’re all clear.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about Adventure Time: Distant Lands-”BMO”

Salutations random people of the internet who probably won't read this. I am an Ordinary Shmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons. And today, I'm going to do one-fourth of what I do best by reviewing "BMO": The first hour-long special of Adventure Time: Distant Lands. Seeing how it's been a week since the special premiered, and that most fans saw it by now, I thought I'd share my thoughts on BMO. Keep in mind, if you haven't seen the special yet, you're final warning against spoilers stops here. Because I'll be spoiling the heck out of this special, by listings everything I like, and don't like. Things like characters, plot elements, and little touches that I thought were worth mentioning. Without further ado, let's start this review off by listing-

WHAT I LIKED

The Animation Quality: You know how Steven Universe: The Movie had animation quality that was ten percent better than the original series? That's basically what the animation in “BMO” is like. It's not the smoothest I've ever seen, and probably not the best Adventure Time has ever looked, but it's still pretty good. There's definitely more attention to detail, shading, and lighting to help make “BMO” look more cinematic than the series. There is one issue I have with the animation, though. But I'll get into that with the dislikes. For now, it's safe to say that the animation is still pretty darn good.

BMO (The Character, not the special): What can I say about this little rascal that hasn't been said already? BMO is still his adorable little self, and more so. There are times when his naivety can be kind of annoying, at least to me, but I'm sure BMO fans will love how he's presented in the special. Especially given the fact that this is the most active BMO has been in the entire series. Throughout most of Adventure Time, BMO has primarily been a source for comedy as well as a tool for characters to use. Even in episodes when BMO does save the day, it's either by accident or by him not understanding the situation. In "BMO," the little robot purposefully solves many problems, and fully understands the situation. The special still manages to keep his naivety by having BMO just not completely understanding how serious the problem is. Weirdly the writers found a perfect way to make BMO a more active role while not giving him a different personality. And personally speaking, the writers executed that idea well.

Y-5: This special may be about BMO, but Y-5 is the real star here. Y-5's personality, design, and overall arc as a character was so much fun and downright adorable to see. It was so surprising because I did not expect to like any new character introduced in Distant Lands. I just assumed that any newcomer would divert attention from the main character that the special would focus on. And while Y-5 does do that, I'm ok with it for three reasons. First, BMO is not a good character to work on his own. He actually needs characters that fully know what's going on for the plot to progress. Second, while Y-5 can hijack the story, sometimes, there are still segments that make it clear that "BMO" is about BMO. Third, Y-5 is already an incredible character, so I'm not going to waste time complaining about her inclusion. She plays the perfect straight man to BMO's antics, and it was so endearing to see her grow as a more confident character. So much so, that I actually consider Y-5 as one of my personal favorite characters. Not just in the special, but in the series overall. Also, I’m sure that there’s some symbolism behind her wanting to be called Y-5, but I’m not touching it. Mostly because I have no idea what I’m talking about in that regard.

The Comedy: There's not much to say here. The jokes are all worth a good chuckle but were never funnier than anything in the series as a whole. Except for that hard-cut to the elf looking angry as he drifts off into space. That was pretty hilarious.

The Drift: I love everything about the Drift. From its design to the background characters, and even the backgrounds themselves. Everything about the Drift just screams hard work and dedication from the cast and crew. It's almost as if everyone involved knew this would be the last time they would work on Adventure Time, so they just poured their hearts and souls into it. And given the fact that they worked so hard on the first special, makes me even more excited for the other three.

Martin returns...sort of: Let's be clear: It is understood by everyone that Mr. M is Martin Mertens. He has the same voice actor, the same mannerisms, and even the same body type. However, what I like isn't the fact that Martin returns. What I love is the fact that "BMO" never reveals that it's Martin. I'm sure some fans might be upset about not getting an official reveal, but I personally don't think it matters. Mostly because it doesn't matter to BMO. BMO doesn't know who Martin is, and has very little connection to the scumbag. So making a big reveal that Mr. M is Martin would just be unnecessary. Overall, I'm ok with the fact that the writers had Martin return to be nothing more than a glorified easter egg. Because honestly, it's what he deserved.

Hugo’s backstory: Again, there's nothing much to say here. It's yet another twist reveal about how a character who seems nice turns out to be quite the twat. There are two things worth mention, though. One, Hugo's personality stays the same. Look back at all Disney twist villains who become vastly different characters before and after the big twist. Compared to Hugo, he seems like a twist villain done right. Once you figured out that Mr. M is Martin, it should be pretty clear that Hugo's not a saint to be partnered up with the guy. Plus, when it's revealed Hugo really is, he still keeps up this charming persona that he uses around people...up until he ditches them like a twit. Another thing worth mentioning is the animation used for the flashback. Dedicated fans might remember that it was the same style used for "Water Park Prank," which might be the worst episode of the series. So it's nice to see the art style used for something good rather than something...not as good.

The solution to “save” the Drift: Most people use the special as an allegory for climate change. Which is why I put "save" in air-quotes because the citizens didn't really save anything. Similar to how we all play our part to save our planet. What the citizens do, though, is come up with solutions that might work as long as they have hope. And I. Freaking. LOVE that! The lesson that "BMO" is trying to teach is incredibly important, both to children and especially to adults. It's so easy to assume that the best solution is to abandon once it gets too hard and take the easy way out. Same as how some people believe it's better to just abandon this planet we call home, rather than put in the work to save it. And to those people: Let me ask you a question. Do you really think that you'll shoot off into space with the people planning to colonize another planet? Or do you think that those people are going to be like Hugo, who will only take along close friends and the rich? Personally, I think it's more likely going to be the latter. Which is why I adore the lesson being taught in "BMO." It might be hard to save the planet at this point, but it's still worth doing. And I can hope everyone else will come to agree with that conclusion.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Olive: I feel bad for saying I don't like Olive because the truth is that I'm more indifferent to them. To me, Olive feels less like a character and more like a plot device. This is because Olive has little to no personality, and all they do nothing but be something that furthers the plot. Although, I do like how Olive can stretch, as well as how they are overprotective over BMO. Other than that, there's not much to work off of.

Inconsistency with Character Designs: This was the problem I had with the animation. At times, characters are pretty inconsistent with how they're drawn. Some scenes, Y-5's eyes are large and cute, and other times they're normal-sized. There also times when BMO's height and width can be pretty inconsistent with what scene he's in. Now to be fair, this is nothing new to Adventure Time. It's a problem that the show has had for quite some time, and fans have come to accept it. However, just because you accept a problem doesn't make it any less of a problem. If anything, it makes it worse because the showrunners still refuse to fix it.

KS-2: Is it weird that the best character in "BMO" is the daughter of the worst character? Because to me, I don't understand how someone as amazing as Y-5 came from someone so rotten as KS-2. To be fair, I get what the writers were going for. They wanted to make a mother who was just another adult that "just doesn't understand." I can see that, but the problem is that the writers went too far with the idea. The way that KS-2 just constantly berates Y-5, as well as refusing to listen, comes off as too cruel. And the fact that the father pointed out how KS-2 never said the words "Y-5 was right," does nothing more than add fuel to the fire. But what's tricky is for all I know, this could have been the intention. And if it's true that the writers wanted to make KS-2 so unlikeable, then they more than succeeded. Although, I will give the crew credit for subverting gender norms by making KS-2 buff and the dad scrawny. I just wish that good intention was put into a good character.

The first chase scene in the Jungle Pod: This is mostly a nitpick, but it's still something that bothers me. Because having BMO getting chased away from his radio, to then have him end back where he originally was, felt like padding to me. Because why else would you have BMO go through all of that danger, only to have him end up at square one. Maybe the writers included the scene to build tension, but even if that's true, there could have been a better way to do it. Like while BMO's being chased, he somehow gets closer to his goal, rather than end up in a loop. And if the scene really was just for padding, then pad that time with literally anything else. Like maybe use the time to show KS-2's gentle side, or doing more to tease Hugo's true self. I know it would only be a few minutes, but actually make those minutes count for something. 

It’s a Prequel?: After my initial viewing, my reaction to the ending was, "Oh, BMO found Finn and Jake's descendants." Then when actual smart people pointed out that "BMO" was a prequel, my reaction became "Oh, that makes way more sense." But then I started thinking about the fact that the special was a prequel, and the more I thought about it, the more holes I found. Or, at least, two holes that I found. First off, why does BMO have a heroic nature in this special? At first, I thought that maybe the years living with Finn and Jake taught BMO how to be a hero, but BMO hasn't met Finn yet. So I guess BMO felt like a heroic personality the entire time? Even though he never acted like this before in the series, unless he thought he was playing a game? Another thing I noticed is Martin's line about kids calling out their deadbeat parents. Why would he say that? Martin hasn't met Finn yet, either. Therefore Martin doesn't have the experience of being called a deadbeat parent. So does this mean that Martin has other children in the universe who calls him out on his crap? Or is it most likely that the writers wanted to give another clue that Mr. M was Martin, but briefly forgot the series timeline? I think it's most likely the latter, even though the former sounds way more interesting. And before people want to kill me because they actually love the story being a prequel, I want to point out, this is another nitpick. The fact that "BMO" is a prequel doesn't bother me too much, but I still can't help but feel confused when thinking about it.

As a whole, I give “BMO” an A-. BMO is as adorable as ever, Y-5 is an astounding character, I love the moral that the special is trying to teach, and the entire thing just screams effort. Is it perfect? No. Does it have problems? Yes, but not anything that makes me think the special was unwatchable. I enjoyed it, and something tells me that if you're an Adventure Time fan, you enjoy it too. "BMO" was a great introduction to Distant Lands, and here's hoping the other specials will be even better.

(And here’s also hoping that “Obsidian” will deliver that sweet, sweet Bubbline goodness that fans have been demanding for years.)

[nihilnovisubsole]

Hey man, do you have any advice for describing body movement? I remember your Crowley and Agent 47 (using them as examples that stand out) both had very expressive and true-to-character body language, and I've honestly been killing myself for the past 2 weeks trying to figure out your style, but I either focus on the wrong body parts or choose wrong words - what do you consider to be focal points in mannerisms.. or maybe words/phrases to think about when describing a character's body language?

sorry to hijack your question, anon, but a quick order of business: i’ve noticed something about how i’ve been receiving asks lately. i only tend to get them directly after i post/reblog stuff, like people aren’t sure whether i’m around or don’t want to bother me [which some of them have said outright]. don’t worry about it! trust me, i lurk on tumblr all day. i’ll see it. i’m grateful for the distraction. just because i don’t hate writing doesn’t mean i don’t love to procrastinate.

anyway, body language. i think, without having seen your writing, you’re probably being too hard on yourself. if you’re for-real-for-real using my writing as a style reference, i’m very flattered. if you message me off anon, i’d be happy to chat about it. let’s also not rule out that my style might just be nonsense and you’re struggling to figure it out because it’s, well, nonsense. let’s not forget we’re human here.

but in general, it’s an inexact science - like many things with writing, you kind of just have to feel it out. i don’t follow any body language rules that i don’t make myself follow with the rest of my narration, too. “stay in active voice,” “stay in third-person objective as much as you can,” and “use a verb only once per scene unless you’re really struggling.”

if finding focal points on a character’s body helps you, let’s look at it that way. which body part is changing? what were they holding still, but are now moving? which part of their face is communicating their expression the most? i notice that people emote a lot in their eyebrows, which may be where eyes get their reputation for being “windows to the soul.” some people talk with their hands or interact a lot with the furniture around them. some people are more self-contained.

more importantly, what do you notice? what do you like to think about? your sense of human observation is what will make your writing yours. do you find yourself paying attention to people’s hands a lot? or maybe their posture? you’re not doing it wrong if you’re not doing it exactly like me.

if you want some more detailed thoughts, i’ve included one of my usual tl;drs below the cut. these are less a direct answer to your question and more ideas i have about writing body language in general.

1. acting helps

if you’re writing a character that somebody has portrayed onscreen, you’ll have a big advantage when you try to write how they move. skilled actors are able to give their characters a distinct physical presence, and it’s all just sitting there for you to study and work from.

this is the big reason i like modeling my characters on famous people. i mean, well, mainly i just love movies and daydreaming about what filmed versions of my stories would be like. but when you have that base, you can look up videos of them and analyze everything from their physical habits to the cadence of their voice. how do they sit? what kind of roles have they performed well in? certain people just fit into a time period or aesthetic like a glove. i was completely lost with marcus until i made the connection between him and henry rollins, and then it all fell into place. that stiff, over-disciplined posture and tamped-down nervous energy were perfect for a career military man with a lot of inner turmoil.

in crowley’s case, david tennant is a very physical actor. anyone who writes good omens fic has a treasure trove of lanky, rubbery body language to work with. [aziraphale, my favorite, is kind of the underdog here. i love michael sheen’s performance, but aziraphale’s whole thing is restraint, so i guess crowley ends up being the one who jumps off the page.] on the opposite end, agent 47 is extraordinarily still, with bursts of extraordinary brutality done with extraordinary precision. where crowley is swooshy, 47 is about no wasted movements. his body is wired to be a predator even when he’s off the job. i know it’s weird to compare a video game character to a live actor, but i assume 47 was mocapped, so just… bear with me.

once i have that frame of reference - or i don’t, and i have to come up with my own - i start to act out the character myself. i’ve talked about this before: i feel more comfortable writing a character when i can “embody” them, imitating their body language as i read their dialogue. i must look pretty eccentric when i do it, but it works.

P.S: of course you don’t have to limit yourself to trained actors. you can just as easily reach into your personal life. a lot of authors get incredible results from going back to their mother, or a friend, or some tragic first love.

2. simple, but specific verbs

i’ve heard that a lot of creative writing teachers find their students are timid about the strength of verbs. they’ll bend over backwards to “soften the blow” with gerunds or other unnecessary clutter because they’re not confident that they’ve chosen the right one. “he was sitting on the stump and starting to carefully carve a bar of soap when she came over and he pressed a kiss to her hand.” that kind of thing. my preference is, own it. choose a good verb and leave it naked. let it speak for itself. be declarative. be more forceful in your personality. fight. WIN!

for the record, i’m not averse to using a thesaurus. i think they get a bad rap because of writers who shoehorn in SAT words to make themselves sound more intelligent. did your character walk across the room, or did they pace? did they stroll? did they stride? did they lope? did they run, or dash, or scamper, or bolt? they all feel different, don’t they?

counterpoint: some people add flourishes to their body language so that you’ll really linger on the feature in question. the first thing that comes to mind is romance, where they want you to think long and hard about, i don’t know, the hidden strength in the love interest’s folded hands. this is… i feel… a matter of artistic discretion. it’s not my thing - i prefer to describe more neutrally - but many people love it. it’s something my producers at voltage lovingly bap me on the head about, because lovestruck games are all about zesty High Romance™ and i always wish i could play it down with my plain, unromantic prose. i used to rail away about it in other people’s work. now? whatever. i’m not here to judge you. writing is hard.

3. on the other hand, don’t be afraid to get colorful

if, in the process of writing, you discover some quirky figurative twist that nails dead-on what you’re envisioning, i say go for it. especially if you’re not trying to be wholly detached as a narrator. if i tell you a character “scooted across the bed like a seal,” it gives you a pretty clear mental image, doesn’t it?

if you have a distinctive voice - and i’m sure you do - i think these are the times where you, the writer, as a character are really going to come out. the reason we keep coming back to, say, mark twain is because nobody “prose talks” quite like he did. whether you like it or dislike it, it’s unique.

full disclosure: this is a potent spice, so you may want to use it in moderation. the most fanciful comparisons may work better in comedy, when you have a little more room to be out-there. my mother defines humor as “associating two unlike things in a way that highlights the absurdity of how similar they actually are.” it may not be a coincidence that a curious case of miracles and death and orchids are less serious stories, so i felt comfortable being sillier with my figurative language, and that may have made crowley and 47 seem more expressive. YMMV!

[itsclydebitches]

3 topics this time!

1.) I was watching Sarcastic Chorus’ video on Star Vs The Forces of Evil, and near the end there was a comment that stuck with me. “These ideas are present, but not fully explored. I like to call them the window shopping of ideas.”

And that was just such a perfect way of describing it. When I first heard it, I immediately thought of My Hero Academia and RWBY. And while both have this problem in spades, RWBY is much more obvious about it. Every single time RWBY introduces a concept they’ll look at it, try it on for a bit, and then dump it on the floor for other people to deal with, and then leave without buying into anything.

Raven? Dumped. Beacon? Dumped. Has anyone seen Tai? Glynda? Sun? Are the grimm still roaming around? Are we sure that Salem hasn’t yet retrieved the relic from Beacon? Wasn’t Nora supposed to get development? Are she and Ren still having problems? Shouldn’t Jaune be learning how to control his semblance better? Especially since it’s something so helpful? Didn’t Robyn need immediate medical attention? But she somehow survived? And is perfectly okay? How? Wasn’t she in a serious medical condition? Is Haven still in chaos? Where is Watts? Is he locked up? Or did he escape while the mains were throwing their temper tantrums? Where’s Tyrian? Where are all of the other students? All dumped. Little to no explanation, and off to the next shop.

2.) I disappeared for a bit after your recap because I was so purely infuriated with the last two episodes. Ironwood shooting Oscar feels ignorable to me in a way because it’s such an out of left field, ooc moment, that my brain is just refusing to acknowledge it. It’s horrible, terrible writing. And it feels a lot like shark jumping.

But as someone who started writing fanfiction in middle school, I get where they were coming from. They wanted a fall from grace story. Cool. Got it. But that takes time. If they wanted to do this properly, it should have been given much more time. Hit the topic episode 1 of the season and devote little time to anything else. The election? Scrap it. Overall it was barely relevant. Robyn. Skip it. Again, barely relevant. Don’t have Ruby&Co hiding info. That takes up time and attention. Have them put all of their cards on the table immediately. (It also serves to not make them hypocrites.) Give the teams another solution to save everyone. (At least a reasonably feasible one.)

Have the kids argue it out. Have Ironwood refuse to budge because they’ve already put too much time into the plan before Ruby and friends came along. Have Weiss go to her mother ask her to set up a meeting with the council to protest what Ironwood is doing. And have her gain their trust by revealing what her father has been doing. If you really want to do this in such little time, it’s possible, but you have to dedicate the time that you do have to it. If you don’t want to do that, and you don’t want to pace it out for another season, then scrap it. In the overall story for the show Ironwood being evil is wholly unnecessary. It adds nothing  to the show. Especially since they’ve already done this twist.

You could also make it so that the Ace Ops were going behind Ironwood’s back to betray him to Salem. Have the ace ops getting along with the mains to gather information. You could also have had Ironwood going down a dark path since his reintroduction. Have him plant spyware on them. Have him in shadows. Have him looking menacing in scenes. Alluding to terrible things that he might be doing. Looking at secret files. Messing with the relic. But for the love of god, don’t do what you’ve done. It was messy and lazy. If you can’t (or don’t want to) devote the time and effort to make this work, then remove it from your story.

3.) There was an article about the fan backlash regarding Clover’s death. In it, it talked about how anyone upset was just a whiny woman who was upset that she can’t fantasize about two gay men. And that it wasn’t queerbaiting or burying your gays because Clover wasn’t officially canonized as such. And that the show has Bumblebee, so it can’t be doing either of those things. And I was so disgusted by it and the comments that followed that I had to get off the internet for awhile. There’s just so much wrong with that.

No, Clover was not said to be anything other than straight in canon. (He wasn’t said to be straight either, so…) However, if we are only going with what has explicitly been stated in the show; then I will not be accepting Bumblebee as a legitimate point for the show from the same people any longer.

Do they seem to be headed into a relationship? Sure. And I hope that it gets proper time and follow through. But if we’re only accepting relationships and sexualities by being told in universe, then you can’t use that as a shield. Because nothing has been said. The writers could change their minds, place them in relationships with male characters, say that they’re straight (you better not RT, do not take this as a legitimate idea to do) and act like nothing ever happened. But it wouldn’t matter, according to this logic, because they never technically canonized it. And I know that it’s a little different, given that we’re shown Blake and Yang having signs of romance feelings for each other, but by this argument, nothing matters unless we’re spoon fed information. And  that brings me to my next point.

In the history of media wlw pairings have always been more ‘acceptable’ than mlm ones. Because there’s a history of denial and fetishizing them. It it’s women, then of course they’re all over each other! They’re women! With all those emotions and need for physical contact! If they’re in a relationship with another woman? That’s fine! It’s not a real relationship! They’re just playing! They need a man! And just imagine! Two attractive women being attracted to you, good sir! And imagine being such a studly man that these women change their sexualities just for you! Women are fickle after all! They change their minds all the time! 

A man in a relationship with another man? Is seen as unnatural. Because straight men can’t fantasize about it. They can’t fetishize it. And therefore, there’s no need for it in media. They don’t want it there. And I don’t want to accuse the writers at RWBY of specifically thinking this way, but it is the way media tends to go. And while the lead characters are women, and a good amount of the fandom are women, there’s still room to question if this is what’s happening. The main leads are all young, thin, and conventionally attractive. Even when in a place that marked by how cold it is, the clothes are more for style and having the girls look attractive over function. The only one of them that looks even remotely clothed appropriately for the weather is Weiss. And when you get to the male characters, they’re either evil, dead, or given so little character that half the time they’re easy to forget. Because the story nor the writing is interested in men.

Also, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of the writing suddenly getting rid of characters that fans pair with Qrow. First Ozpin, then Ironwood, then Clover. You could probably make an argument for Tai being shunted off once that started to gain traction in fandom as well. It’s creepy. 

(Sorry if anything is phrased badly. One of the problems I have with social things is that I never know if I’ve phrased something well enough to get my point across without being offensive. Still working on it, so let me know!)

***

Response under the cut! 

1. absolutely love that phrase: “Window shopping ideas.” I feel like I may have heard it before, but not enough for it to stick. It really is perfect though. The story looks at something, seems to consider it seriously, maybe even tries it on… but in the end doesn’t commit. We move onto the next piece of clothing—or even the next store—without, ultimately, having achieved anything other than introducing the possibility of buying a new outfit (telling a cohesive story). One of the most common compliments I hear RWBY get, and one I agree with, is that it has so many cool ideas. The problem is this isn’t a tumblr post going, “Here are all my fun headcanons, random concepts, and nifty details vaguely held together by a broad plot.” Cool ideas alone isn’t enough to carry a mainstream story a lot of people are paying for, certainly not one as long and complex as RWBY has become. Granted, every story has window shopping to a certain extent. We can acknowledge that there are different levels: 

Dropping Glynda is super understandable largely due to the issues surrounding her voice actress. Finding someone new for Qrow is one thing because he’s still actively a part of the plot, but if you’ve lost an actress for a character currently off screen, it’s tempting to just keep her off screen. I get that. It’s an arguably smart sacrifice. 

Dropping Jaune’s development is somewhat understandable because we acknowledge that change within a cast this size has to cycle. Jaune got to improve last volume through figuring out how to heal that guy’s arm and amplify Ren’s semblance. So his development takes a backseat the next volume to make room for others’. Problem is… 

Dropping something like Nora and Ren’s development is both Not Good and actively hurting the justification behind dropping other things (like Jaune). What did we learn about Ren and Nora this volume? Nothing. There was no insight into Nora like we were led to believe there would be. Ren obviously has a lot of stuff he’s trying to work through, but the story actively kept him from working through it by silencing him with a kiss. And the kiss itself? Great in regards to moving forward with their romantic relationship, but we already knew that relationship existed. We were clear about Ren and Nora being a couple up until Ren voiced hesitation… which, as said, was then ignored. The kiss achieved little in the grand scheme of things and, unlike something like Blake/Yang, doesn’t function to provide absolutely needed proof. Again, it’s good we got it, it just wasn’t done particularly well and was done in place of much more important development. I don’t need them to kiss this second because their moments in Volume 4-6 firmly established that they’re a couple. I do need to know more about who Nora is, whether Ren agrees with Ironwood, and why he’s so torn about this relationship that just the concept of hitting a fake version of Nora in battle makes him cry. (Because seriously, don’t they spar? That was clearly something much bigger than just not wanting to his his girlfriend.) 

So… yeah. A lot of window shopping. Which connects to: 

2. The fact that yeah, there was too much going on this volume which resulted in none of it getting the time it needed. We keep coming back to the question of “What is the point?” What was the point of resurrecting Penny if she wasn’t going to grow as a person, or help Ruby do the same? What’s the point of spending so much time on Robyn learning to trust Ironwood only for her to immediately reject him on the airship? What’s the point of devoting time to Qrow and Clover’s friendship if Qrow thinks so little of it he’ll team up with Tyrian instead? What was the point of framing Penny? What’s the point of spending SO much time showing justified and sympathetic scenes of Ironwood if you’re going to take a sharp right and randomly make him shoot a kid in the finale? What’s the point of the group being devastated by Ozpin lying to them if they’re just going to turn around and tell the same lies? Nothing amounted to anything. All the time we spent developing Thing A was dropped for Thing B. Continuing the analogy, the characters spent a whole volume admiring the red dress, checking the price, talking about reasons why this was the perfect purchase for them to make… only to turn around and buy a pair of pants instead, something we haven’t even seen them look at, let alone try on. The journey these characters took is entirely disconnected from where they ended up. 

3. Oof yeah. All of that is a complex af topic that deserves more than my quick response… but suffice to say, anyone who believes that “wasn’t queerbaiting or burying your gays because Clover wasn’t officially canonized as such” fundamentally doesn’t understand what queerbaiting is. The whole point is that it’s NOT canonized. Like Blake/Yang remain. I admit 100% that Clover and Qrow were not teased in the same way that other potential queer couples have been (such as Dean/Cas in Supernatural), but there were a lot of hints and coding that encouraged a queer reading regardless and fans are right to point that out, regardless of what RT’s intentions may have been. Even if you don’t want to go that route, this volume still—quite obviously—encouraged a close friendship, something that in and of itself is chock-full of implications given the history of the buddy duo/opposites attract trope. Whether you read Qrow and Clover as platonic or potentially romantic, the end result is the same: two men embodied an intimate and gentle relationship (something rare for two “straight” guys) and then one was horrifically murdered off in order to “justify” the destruction of the one other friendship Qrow still has going. There’s a lot in there for fans to be upset with, especially when it was all set up so poorly. And frankly, until RT actually canonizes Blake/Yang, I’m not going to make any blanket statements about how they would never queerbait, not matter how lightly. Because you’re right. We don’t know what we’ll get in the future and no matter how seemingly obvious it is that they will enter a relationship at some point…we can’t swear that it will actually make it on screen. In which case everything we’ve seen—romantic hand-holding, intense blushes, going out on presumed dates—would enter the realm of really intense queerbaiting, which in turn would drastically color how viewers read Clover and Qrow. You proved with one couple that you’re willing to string viewers along… so why would we claim you weren’t doing the same here, even though it was a lot more subtle? As an on-going series it’s hard to make any definite statements about RWBY’s representation, but given how long it’s taking for their presumed, primary queer couple to get together (no matter how little time has passed in-world the writers are still making the fanbase wait years) and the history surrounding Clover and Qrow’s character types as well as the ending they got… I’m more than a little uncomfortable. Just like I was uncomfortable with the decision to make the first queer character a villain who blames her crush for those feelings, her abusive relationship, all while trying to murder her parents. That stuff hurts in a world where queer media is still both rare and often badly done. Even if next volume Blake/Yang becomes canon and RT has A+ rep moving forward, we’re still left for the next year with one queer coded character denouncing all his male friendships, one close male friend dead, and two women dancing around each other. Volume 7 has a lot of things that on their own aren’t necessarily that bad, but pull them all together and it paints a far worse picture. 

(Also yeah, another anon mentioned how RWBY is popular because it’s not fanservice and I’m like, “Yes… but also no lol. I have things to say about how ‘We don’t do giant breasts or pantie shots!’ shouldn’t be the only bar we strive to meet.) 

[ducklooney]

An episode critique of Louie's eleven

This is my second time criticizing the Ducktales episode, but in a little more detail. The first episode of the Ducktales reboot I criticized was a Quack Pack episode I didn't like, and you can find out more here: https://ducklooney.tumblr.com/post/614773075886686208/my-opinion-on-the-quack-pack-episode-in-ducktales

For some reason I didn't get to comment on the other episodes, but the episodes after the Quack Pack were quite disappointing to me, even though Chip and Dale and their crew showed up (unfortunately they didn't say anything). However, today's episode was completely different. Please direct this to those who better understand the criticism and better understand the series. I recommend to younger children and vulnerable groups not to read this, which I will say next.

Before I start, which are the positives and the negatives, I have to emphasize that I really liked the episode and did not believe that the Ducktales reboot would thrill me again. After the episode Three Caballeros, Delina's Adventure and Return, Fenton's encounter with Gandra and the origins of Negaduck that I liked, the rest to this day were a total disappointment to me and I didn't like it except for some moments and characters (like Goofy and Gene the Genie which were great for me as well as the conflict between Scrooge and Glomgold with Lunaris). This episode partly gave me back the spirit of confidence that bugs can be fixed and that it can be done better, as it should. Here are my impressions and I will try to be as subjective as I can:

Positive

+ Occurrences of Daisy Duck. Although we expected, apart from looks, they also gave her the qualities that suited her. For a long time in animation, I didn't think Daisy Duck would be fantastic, especially after House of Mouse, where Daisy Duck was brilliant.

+ Caballeros are back and are with Donald again. Although it could have been without a bathroom joke, I have to say that I liked the annoyance of Scrooge, and he threw them out. Good thing they helped Donald when needed.

+ Helping by Donald's nephews (as much as they could, given that the series focuses most on them and on Webby which bothers me a bit). Given the title of the episode, it would be Lou's moment, but Dewey got involved. Huey is a bit involved. Good thing Huey became an apprentice, I mean, at least he's dressed like that (signing an ink contract).

+ The appearance of Beaks' mom. She really looks great her age. She's a bit of a wimp, but well, such are fashion designers and rich people who think for themselves. Her voice is good (the same voice that played Mirage in the Aladdin series and Sylvia Marpole, Goofy's girlfriend in Extreme Goofy Movie- Bebe Neuwirth).

+ Falcon Graves attacks again with its mercenaries. And then there's Mark Beaks. Again, he shows that he is okay. The best scene when Falcon finds out that Emma Glamour  is Mark's mom.

+ A parody or at least a reference to Ocean's Eleven.

+ Louie's plan was good, but Dewey got involved (this reminds me of the quarrel between Huey and Dewey in the Quack Pack series when Dewey comes up with his plan, and Huey meddles in thinking his plan is better, I'm not sure which episode was. but I remember that), to come up with how his plan is better and that he is a great character. A bit boring I have to admit. For me, Dewey's best moment was when he came up with his own yoyo game and stunned Emma Glamour. Louie proved to be good in this episode.

+ I have to admit, but Emma is right in telling Louie that he doesn't have to deal with many things that he is unable to do (especially around the world of business) because he is still too small for it and has rejected it. I know that he is rude and I am partly sorry for him, but to accept such a decision better, he simply has to wait a few years. It is fascinating how a stranger gets so much worse at him than his mom and his Uncle Scrooge, but it's also somehow better to find out the bitter truth. I don't know, but maybe it's better that Louie doesn't go into the business world and start doing other things. Just better for him. Otherwise, I prefer Louie to be an athlete than a rich man, but that's how the creators of the Ducktales reboot have determined.

+ Donald's introduction to Daisy in the elevator was great. Although a little disagreeable, it was clear at the beginning that they had fallen in love, although Donald first fell in love with her, and only she. The song that Donald sang from the heart was amazing. Glad Daisy Duck understands Donald, though it should come as no surprise, given that Tony Anselmo and Tress MacNeille have been playing the same characters for over 20 years.

+ Victory in the end by Donald and Daisy. I'm glad Daisy got mad at Falcon and smashed him, I mean hit him, because that's just the nature of her. I don't know why many get angry when Daisy got angry with some of the things she didn't like before. I understand that Daisy is angry with Donald, mostly for no reason, but I have to mention that Donald is sometimes not as loyal to her as he seems. Sometimes Donald rejects Daisy (and that was in animation and comics). I agree that Daisy Duck should be kinder to Donald, but please don't, for some trifle, hate Daisy Duck just because she misbehaves on Donald. However, there is a need to understand some things. Hopefully after this Daisy Duck will be more kind to Donald and that Donald deserves Daisy as well as Daisy Donald. Quite simply, they have similar qualities and a really angry temperament. In addition, they are the best parents (Daisy is the aunt for April, May and June, and Donald the uncle for Huej, Dewey and Louie). And I hope their relationship doesn't break because of some nonsense. You should insert Daisy Duck more often after that.

+ After many episodes, I finally like something. Yes there were mistakes, but it's better than I expected. The first episode of the third season of the Ducktales reboot did not disappoint me. Much better than the Quack Pack episode, which wasn't funny to me, except for some parts. A little repair is not to waste. Hopefully there will be better episodes.

+ Finally Donald got all the justice he deserved. No more the awful treatment he had before and no longer depressing. I really don't like that kind of relationship, especially about changing my voice. Although he sang quite differently, Donald is still Donald and I am glad Daisy loves him even though he sings terribly.

+ The animation on Donald's singing (Dear my voice) was good, though I don't like the style used in the reboot. If it made me a little nicer it would be great.

+ Daisy Duck had a really beautiful dress.

Negative:

- I think in the end Donald didn't need help from Donald's nephews, he managed to do everything himself, with a heart. Somehow it seemed to me that Dewey and Louie and Webby were partly redundant, so it could be without them.

- The unnecessary interference by Dewey and too many strokes by Webby irritates me a little. I don't think they are bad, they were good, but too much focus on them is absolutely not right. It needed to be reduced a bit.

- The caballeros didn't seem as smart to me as it turns out. Okay, they're cool and their voices are great, but I miss the funny dynamics they used to have. The Legend of the Three Caballeros series shows it best. There, Panchito and Jose turned out much better and were more funny and interesting than usual. It needs to get a little better in the episode so far, but I'm well pleased that they showed up again.

- Although Daisy and caballeros understand Donald well, it's unfortunate that his family doesn't understand him. Although not shown in the current episode, it has been treated poorly in previous ones. Donald's consolation cannot only be Daisy's, it must also come from those with whom Donald lives most. It's good that the attitude and respect for Donald's nephews towards Donald has improved a bit in the current episode, but again it needs to be seen how it will be afterwards.

Conclusion:

This episode was fantastic and became one of my favorite Ducktales reboot episodes (along with the pilot episode and the episode where Magica de Spell appeared) and I didn't think the series would improve. But again, it should be seen further, if the next episodes disappoint me again, I will be very sad. So of course, it can be done better and I'm glad Donald finally got the justice he deserves, since he barely got it in the series. In other series the focus on it as well as the treatment itself are better than the Ducktales reboot. I apologize for my comments and my opinion, but here I am to share my impressions. Just use arguments, no offense, if you want to comment or refute my criticism.

[theyearoftheking]

Book Forty-Seven: On Writing

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs...”

My career path was pretty clear from a young age... I wanted to write. I wanted people to find my books at the library, I wanted people to recognize me on the street, and I practiced my loopy scrawl for those autograph opportunities. 

The people around me encouraged my writing; but no one (except for the esteemed Danielle Steel) taught me HOW to write until I got to high school. My first formal writing class was actually a journalism class, and that was the best start I could have had. I was taught crisp, concise writing, absent of flowery prose, excessive words, and unnecessary details. So, I basically un-learned everything Ms. Steele had taught me (flowing locks, cornflower blue eyes, shockingly beautiful... you get the idea). So, thanks to Rod Vick, my journalism teacher, for teaching me the WHAT and the HOW of writing. And thanks to my Grandma, for keeping all those romance novels around the house. 

If you weren’t lucky enough to have Mr. Vick teach you how to write, and if your grandma didn’t keep shelves full of bodice-rippers, the next best thing is On Writing. Steve is clear; he considers The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White the bible for writers. And he’s not re-writing the bible. Instead, he just gives some fun insight into his stories, some biographical nuggets, and some clear, concise rules for writers. Here are a few of those rules in no particular order:

1. “Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open...Once you know what the story is and get it right... it belongs to anyone who wants to read it.” This is far better than Hemingway's advice to write drunk and edit sober. Your liver will thank you for this later. 

2. The best advice ever: “...put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn’t in the middle of the room. Life isn’t a support system for art. It’s the other way around.” 

This is my little corner of the dining room where I write. When I need to “close the door” I pop my headphones in and focus. When I’m rewriting, I can use my husband and daughter as a sounding board. As I type this, my daughter is grilling herself some Asian-marinated tofu, and chattering about her first day of virtual middle school. It’s perfect, I much prefer it to having a big desk in the middle of a lonely room. 

3. Adverbs. Avoid them like the lovely, deadly, horribly common plague they are. 

4. “The best form of dialogue attribution is said, as in he said, she said.” I had a dear friend tell me she had learned this in a writing class, and applied it to her manuscript. Her writing professor informed her most people breeze right past the attribution, and pay more attention to the dialogue itself. When writing my own manuscript, I rejected this piece of advice and instead used lots of “grunted,” “sighed” “considered” “pondered” instead. Seeing as how I’ve now head this advice from two different people, I suppose it’s time I start listening. 

5. If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have time to write. So. Damn. True. Early in the book, Steve talked about how most writers have a moment where they read a book and decide, “Yeah, I could do better than this. So I’m going to!” Writers also have moments when we’re so blown away by the beauty of a turn of phrase or an image, and we know we’ll never be that damn good. Both are worthwhile experiences, but you need to pick up a damn book and read in order to have them. Steve also talks about how one can read in sips and swallows. Quick reading done in a waiting room or on a bus can be a sip. Reading done under the comfort of several quilts with a cup of tea on a cold night is a swallow. Both types of reading get the job done. 

6. The difference between a novel being plot driven, or character driven. Steve claims most of his novels are character driven. The only plot driven novels he has written are Insomnia and Rose Madder, which he doesn’t find particularly inspiring. I agree about Insomnia and the damn Oompa Loompas, but Rose Madder is still an og favorite. Sorry, not sorry. 

7. Maybe the most cardinal rule of all... “Never tell us a thing you can show us instead.” 

Interspersed with these nuggets of wisdom are stories about Steve’s life. He talks about his start as a writer, how a paycheck managed to appear just when his family needed it the most, and his recovery after his horrific accident. And perhaps the greatest mystery of all was solved! Steve talks about a year or two of his childhood spent living in West De Pere, Wisconsin!!! Yaaaas! The most important of ALL Wisconsin references. 

In case you can’t tell, I love this book. I have a well-thumbed copy I come back to for inspiration and direction. Many regard it as one of the most important how-to books for writers. Even non-writers will enjoy the biographic details as well. It’s a lovely book. <- intentional and ironic adverb use 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 30

Total Dark Tower References: 45

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

Storm of the Century: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

At the moment, I’m currently deep inside Dreamcatcher, which is just as miserable as I remember it being. Must...keep...reading... Dark House is waiting for me on the other side. 

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca