#maybe we can use this as a catalyst for that .

[scrumptiousstuffs]

stylefadel is soooooo boring, idk why ppl are so into them… i think is bcs is the first jd mature series, it’s their first time watching them being this bold. but since i’m really not into their stuff, i just find kind of boring their storyline, a little rushed maybe? style is already loving fadel out of nowhere … maybe i’m being biased, i just can’t live without my precious kantbison

Anon, you have the pleasure of bearing the brunt of my anger and rambling, messy thought process. I am going to use your ask to defend ALL FOUR BOYS. Ok, yes – I know 90% of the THK watchers right now loathe KB and prefers SF instead.

Firstly, I will politely disagree with your first comment that SF is boring. THK will not be the series it is WITHOUT KBSF. The relationships between these boys in the series are so intertwine that I really don’t think the series would have been as interesting if it only involves KB or SF alone.

StyleFadel:

We can at least agree that without Kant, Style’s interactions with Fadel will have ended when Style fixed Fadel’s jeep. So, Kant’s request for Style to distract Fadel was the catalyst that jump start his courtship (stalking). But here is where I will argue (because brainless worms out there blamed the current predicament of SF by the end of EP 6 to Kant alone) – Kant knows his bestie's nature. Style is bold, brash and fearless. Even after having his suspicion of Fadel’s true colour (Style was the first one who brought up to Kant that he thought Fadel is an assassin), Style remained doggedly determine to pursue Fadel. He likes the danger and thrill (and in some way, he is similar to Bison).

So, the interactions between SF organically grew from Style persistency and his inner desire to peel (both the clothes and thoughts) of our broody, handsome assassin.

In Ep 1-3, he wants to find out what makes Fadel tick. Style enjoys their cat and mouse games. Fadel, on the other hand is intrigue by this fearless, beautiful but irritating man who keeps hitting on him. As he learns more about Fadel, Style gradually likes what he knows about Fadel - the contrast between always-in-control Fadel but liking hard rock music, for example? That must be fascinating to Style.

And so, by ep 4, when he found out about Fadel's real occupation (and really, some viewers? – you blame Kant for finally telling Style?) – he is already in too deep. Fadel did offer Style a way out (during the sauna scene after they agreed to become BFs) – Fadel said along the lines that “its ok if you want to stop now” because he can read the discomfort on Style’s face. But Style clung to him (and maybe it is out of loyalty to his friendship with Kant but I’m sure most of us here will agree that he continued with the ‘charade’ because he is attracted and likes him too).

As for Fadel, whose life has been dictated ever since he lost his parents, saddled with an adopted younger brother that he may or may not want (I have no doubt he loves Bison and really, it’s Bison+Fadel against a doggy doggy world out there). Nevertheless, he has a younger brother he basically raised and sheltered from Madam Lilly (and Keen). Before Style came crashing into his car, his life was monotonous, and his body language scream exhaustion and apathy. In fact, this is one of the many reasons WHY Bison came up with the condition to Kant that he needed to win Fadel over/get someone to date Fadel (and I will fight anyone who said this). It is because Bison can see the apathy/exhaustion in Fadel. He wants Fadel to have happiness. As much as Bison is somehow naïve, the last few episodes have shown us (or at least those WHO DID NOT SKIP KB parts – yes, I am still talking to the brainless worms out there) Bison is sharp, detailed orientated (when he wants to be) and observant. He just clocked it behind that sweet, guileless smile and innocent demure look (only Khaotung can pull this off. Again, I will fight anyone who said otherwise).

So, having a beautiful man paying attention to you must be somehow flattering (albeit with stalk-ish tendencies and crossing some boundaries – cause I still haven’t forgiven Style 100% for intruding in Fadel’s grieving group sessions). Plus, a reprieved from his colourless world.

JoongDunk has brought to life as Fadel & Style respectively. This is truly their best performance to date. I enjoyed them in Hidden Agenda although I thought the script was meh. Dunk, especially has truly grown as an actor - he was a bit stiff during Hidden Agenda. However, I was impressed with his performance as White (in Summer Nights) and his current performance as the ballsy, fearless and loyal Style. Similarly, Joong brought Fadel to life - quiet and dignified but weighed by unresolved grief.

However, I will say – I think one of the reasons why people may relate to SF more than KB is that their relationship trajectory follows a somehow classic trope – we have the meet cute (or disaster) in the form of the car accident. Followed by persistent pursuing (stalking) of a sunshine, happy-go-lucky lead against the tsundere, gruff (but with a soft, romantic heart) man. And once they are together, the soft, gooey centre of the gruff man is exposed (which never fails to melt our collective hearts) while Style patiently woos this man by giving him time and attention. Plus, when it is played by gorgeous looking men in the form of JoongDunk – well, the rest is history.

KantBison:

Now, contrast this with KB. In this, I will agree with you, KB is precious – personally, I find the development of their relationship fascinating because it is complicated. The beginning of KB's relationship is marred by deception and viewers are made to guess what is genuine and not with these 2.

I suspect most people who went it likely expects classic FK chemistry to come into play immediately. However, it is a testament to FK acting skills that we can read clearly when KB are “faking it” (or at least, people who watched KB scenes and don’t skip them).

Like episode 1 – when they were strangers who had a ONS. It’s pure lust and attraction. You can feel the palpable chemistry jumping out of screen. But by the end of the episode 1 (and followed by ep 2-3), viewers (OK, me) can see Kant was essentially faking his “love” for Bison. I have no doubt he was at least a little fond of Bison. And attracted physically to him. However, the mission takes precedence and the slip up by Kant is noticeable. First is a masterclass in speaking with his eyes (and face), and the slightest twitch of his muscles or narrowing of his eyes/raised eyebrows, and you can tell what he is trying to portray in that moment.

Basically, the whole episode 1-3 (apart from when he first noticed Bison at the bowling alley and red room scene), Kant comes off as sleazy (almost desperate) as he tries to hit on Bison (who definitely clocks on the desperation). We see this when Bison keeps putting Kant off and tests Kant’s determination to pursue him to the point Kant hastily pretends most of his enthusiasm about the BDSM thing.  I suspect people who don’t vibe with KantBison probably feels the “fakeness” but can’t pinpoint on it exactly. All they know is that the KB scenes feel uncomfortable when they were meant to be that way (and why most people like SF better because their scenes are just organically more wholesome and sweeter).

However, by episode 4-5 – the cracks are starting to show. Kant caressing the trophy he won with Bison and noticing the Northern Lights photos on Bison’s wall even as he frantically tries to find evidence while Bison slumbers on. But I think it truly dawned on him that Bison is more than just a “ruthless killer” (which I suspect is how Captain Christ painted it to Kant) when Bison without hesitation helped with the whole “Babe being bullied at school” scenario. Kant noticing Bison has a soft spot for children/animals and loves drawing give dimensional to this beautiful man who finally allows Kant in his heart.

**I am also going to point out that Bison himself is exhausted and depressed. He puts up a cheery front, but he is burnout/fatigue from all the killings. The comment (in Ep 6) when he said Kant was the reason he can wake up every morning and get through the day really shows how miserable he was previously. His life was meaningless and while he has an older brother he loves, Bison and Fadel are not exactly on the same wavelength in terms of communication.

Anyway, I am digressing. By ep 5-6, we see Kant alternating feeling blissful and guilty depending on whether it’s Bison in his mind or Captain Christ reminding him what is at stake (and to the brainless worms out there – IT’S BABE, you know, his younger brother who he has been parenting since he was a teenager barely out of high school). Like any good parents out there, he puts his child first (unless we have the classic K-drama trope where evil parents are in abundance). Time after time, he chooses Babe over his heart, desire and soul. We know Kant sacrificed his future because of Babe. He became a car thief to feed Babe. He agreed to work with the devil Captain Christ because of Babe, doing the police dirty works multiple times because of the threat he can lose Babe’s custody anytime he disobeys the police.

This is where I will argue, Kant is very similar to Fadel. Just like Fadel, Kant was never given a choice. Just like Fadel, he also has a younger brother he loves and want to protect. He must become a police informant if he wants to keep Babe. He must become selfish and use dirty tricks for Babe’s sake – choosing his survival so that Babe won’t be left alone to fend for himself. And Babe knows this – hence why he never told Kant in the first place about the bullying and why he pointed out to Kant that he will soon get a scholarship for his education so that he doesn’t have to rely on Kant’s tattooing money. And why Babe is so encouraging about his relationship with Bison because he can see Kant is happier when Bison is around. Style who knows Kant the best (as his closest friend) also clocks on this – he pointed out Bison has Kant wrapped around his fingers. Style himself asked whether Kant can truly give up on Bison (ep 6).

**Isn’t it fascinating that in any other given series, police informants and police officers are considered “good” while hitmen will be labelled immediately “bad”. But with THK, Kant is the evillest one (yes, I am still bitter with the brainless worms who throw shades to Kant) for becoming a police informant to keep Babe’s custody?

Again, I am digressing. By ep 6 – Kant has developed true feelings for Bison. He tried to get out of the deal with Captain Christ. Yet again, the devil brought up Babe. And as I have mentioned before, he cannot give up Babe.

The romantic date at the bowling alley was bittersweet – again, it is testament to FK as actors that you can feel the contrast of their feelings. A hopeful, new beginning from Bison’s part but a wistful (of what this relationship could have become) plus a farewell from Kant. I bet he feels even worse when he realises Bison threw away his mission to save Babe. The argument he gave Style to “move on” from Fadel is also a reminder to himself to do the same.

But what do we see him do next? – he accompanied Style the very next day to visit the burger joint and adopt Nong Kitty, Bison’s beloved black cat into his household. If Style shows up every day to the burger joint as a coping mechanism while he hopes for Fadel to show up, we see Kant pining away and drowning his sorrow by drinking in his friend’s bar. So, when that exact moment as Bison said his name in the bar – you could see a mixture of relieve, hope, wariness and tinged with guilt.

Having said all of these, I am absolutely wrecked by the end of Ep 6. I am devastated for all 4 boys – our 2 assassin brothers who feel betrayed (and again, I am going to point out to viewers out there who are angry at Bison for “assuming” Style is in a cahoots with Kant). Why shouldn’t Bison feel that way? – all he knows is Style is Kant’s best friend who Kant asked to seduce Fadel. Nobody in the right mind will think Style said yes because he wanted Kant’s car. Bison, out of everyone has the right to feel the sadness, rage and anger towards both Kant and (by default Style). He gave his heart to Kant, vouched for him in front of Fadel and only wanted to feel love/wanted. He must also feel somehow responsible because he indirectly brought Style into Fadel’s life.

But equally, I am devastated for Kant who (out of all 4) is trapped – he is damned either way. Captain Christ is still hot on his tails and now, Bison is out for revenge. Similarly, for Style, who is truly just happy to have Fadel back in his life while Fadel currently thinks the worst of him. And oh Fadel, my heart breaks when I see his quiet, resigned look like he expected Style to betray him.

So yeah, I am currently coping by thinking about these 2 pictures (from Joong's OST - Hurt Me Please MV) because these show our weary assassins being relax, safe and comforted in the arms of their lovers (and that's how I like my four boys to be, thank you very much)

[jewelstole]

heartbreak starter that we were talking about @mercred

a goodbye on a dreary rooftop. how romantic. she's not meant for this life. not with him. not with his deep rooted feelings for her. she could see it in his eyes , the way that he spoke to her. it was in everything he did. at first , it was fun to take advantage. diamonds and the occasional one night stand really made her feel alive. until it did not anymore. hope manifested in his eyes and made her feel an overwhelming guilt. he would deny such a genuineness as nobody wanted to be someone's lovesick puppy but she is done with this game of cat and mouse.

the soft thud mixed with sounds of rain would have her to turn with ease. " well , well , well .. i'm glad you came. i was .. starting to worry you might not show. " she'd say. green eyes will take him all in. [ it's serious this time , selina. tell him how you really feel about him ! no more excuses ! he's useless to you. ]

" new suit ? " she cannot help but take a detour. heartbreak isn't easy. " i like it. "

[louderfade]

[the-everqueen]

my gender is "doomed by the narrative"

[lesbianrobin]

ok so here is my pitch for my dream buddie catalyst:

eddie and maddie are trapped in some sort of likely-fatal time sensitive situation together (drowning related probably because it's Them) (have they overused it yes is it still thematically appropriate YES) where one person could potentially sacrifice themselves for the other to survive. i want eddie and maddie using their combined experience and ingenuity to survive together and discussing who should be prioritized which means they talk about parenthood and how they both feel they've failed their children by "running," how their lives have been so defined by trauma and they don't want to scar their children any further by leaving them again. of course they're doing everything they can to get out together, but as the situation deteriorates throughout the episode(s) (c'mon something like this could be at LEAST a two-parter) they can't help returning periodically to the world's most morbid debate.

i want buck and chim on the outside both going out of their goddamn minds. they know that eddie and maddie are stuck (wherever), know that they're probably alive, but aren't sure in what condition and if they'll stay that way. rescue operations begin as everybody walks on eggshells around buck and tries to comfort chim, who wants absolutely none of it. time is running out.

eddie says that he couldn't possibly let maddie sacrifice herself for him and look buck and chim in the eye afterwards. maddie says that she couldn't do that either. she says that at least jee-yun would still have her father, and eddie says that christopher would still have buck. maddie says that of course none of them would just abandon christopher if something were to happen to him but—

and eddie cuts her off and says it's in my will. if i die, christopher will have buck. buck will have christopher.

they just look at each other for a weighted moment. maddie makes a decision. she says ...i meant it, you know. that i couldn't let you die down here (wherever here is i don't KNOW okay i'm not here to think up convoluted emergencies i'm here for drama) and look my baby brother in the eye knowing that i could have changed it. eddie says i know, okay, but it's different, you're his sister, and maddie says, yeah, but you're his... and she pauses. and eddie says what? best friend? partner? that doesn't—

and maddie says you're his. eddie, you're his.

and eddie... i want to see something slot into place. i want to watch him understand as maddie spills everything she's been suspecting since the day that buck came out to her and maybe since before she and eddie even met. maddie says you know, when i first came to california, you were all he talked about? you're still all he talks about. you and christopher. you're his. i couldn't... eddie, you're out of your mind if you really don't think that losing you would break him just as much as losing me. he would forgive us both, because he's buck, but i couldn't... i'm no saint, eddie, i want to survive. i don't want my daughter to grow up without me. but i can't do that to him. i don't know if he'd survive it. even if he did, the guilt would eat me alive.

meanwhile. buck is barely holding on to his sanity as rescue efforts are underway and time is running out. chimney is keeping it together as best he can but there isn't much that he and buck can do. he can't let himself fall apart because buck is already a stiff breeze away from clawing his own skin off and somebody has to keep their cool. something goes wrong—suddenly, their short amount of time has gotten shorter, and they may only have enough of a window to get one out before it's too late for the other. buck, who has been ranting and arguing and screaming this whole time... is silent. he is silent, and he stares straight ahead at nothing in particular, and we know that no matter which way the scales tip, his soul will be destroyed all the same.

eddie regards maddie for a moment. grief, heartbreak, anger, all flicker over him, but what settles is determination. he says that neither of them are going to leave again. that they'll survive together, or not at all, or leave it to the universe to decide.

of course they make it out. by the skin of their teeth, they make it out, working together, clawing their way back to life and love and possibility. maddie makes it out first, and eddie sees buck as she falls into chim's waiting arms. he watches as buck sees his sister, and reaches out to take her hand with trembling fingers and white knuckles, but there is no relief, no happiness in his red-rimmed eyes. just a deep, unspeakable grief, until his eyes slide past maddie and meet eddie's.

finally: relief. and then he is in buck's arms, a perfect parallel to chim and maddie, and we see eddie's face over buck's shoulder, and we know. he is in love, and buck is in love, and eddie knows, and he sinks into his partner's embrace with joy and acceptance.

after that, who knows? maybe a grand confession. a moment of quiet understanding. a passionate post-rescue kiss. a chaste, tender kiss in some kitchen or other. maybe eddie panics later, or maybe he's found peace for once. maybe buck has realized something and he makes the first move. maybe it happens immediately. maybe it takes a while, takes discussions about how it'll affect work and christopher and whether it's worth risking all that they have for all that they want.

and maybe they'll ask whether it's even a risk at all.

[mxmollusca]

 A critique I've heard of season two is that we’ve lost a lot of our symbolic objects, archetypes, and motifs. Season one gave us the lighthouse, the kraken, the red silk and the unicorn, the seagull, the auxiliary closet, Gnossienne no. 5, Pinocchio…

And then I think back to Samba sharing a quote from writer Alex Sherman during the ECCC panel:

“Season one is Stede going from a puppet to a real boy, and season two is Stede becomes a man.”

And that’s it, isn’t it? The transformation from object to subject, from something that has things done to it versus someone with agency. We see that transformation throughout season two. Almost every significant object is discarded, every symbol realized in flesh. 

The process starts at the end of season one with the throwing away of all of Stede’s things. So much has been written about Stede’s potential response to that act, and so many folks (myself included) held on to the idea that perhaps Ed kept a little bit, maybe the auxiliary closet. Stede literally no longer cares about those things. He originally brought all the things he loved with him to sea because he didn’t have significant personal relationships. That’s why we hear Gnossienne no. 5 as he goes through the empty cabin pulling out all of the knives. The discordant love motif shows how his priorities have changed, how his love has transformed.

The red silk is gone as well, but instead we have Stede, real and in the flesh wearing the exact same color, clutched in Ed’s hand in the moonlight.

The kraken, a giant monster capable of rending a ship in two? Ed becomes that, literally, disassembling the Revenge to sail her into a storm and destroy her. 

The lighthouse? A warning, Ned Low in his silver suit, a beacon in the dark warning Stede of what he will become if he continues on his course.

The unicorn, the destroyed masthead, literally becomes Izzy, a man taken apart and rebuilt piece by piece out of the parts of Stede Bonnet to become a beloved and respected member of the crew, and perhaps one of the strongest examples of self-actualization so far.

The attempts at reversing the process are demonstrated to be ineffective. The catalyst is when Buttons becomes a seagull, which shows Ed that the process of change is possible—that someone can become something or someone else. And he tries, he throws away his leathers, dons Button’s old jacket, tries to become an archetype. Stede tries to become a “real pirate”, despite the warning from Low. Even in Ed’s vision of Stede as a merman, Stede is being reduced to the role of symbol—a mythical being rather than a very real, very flawed man. They are both still trying to be the object when they need to be the subject. They need to take action, to realize themselves. And it’s a gruesome process. Jim’s version of Pinocchio is about the horrific transmogrification from wood into flesh and the horrors that need to be faced in order to make that transition.

We, the audience, are experiencing discomfort in this process. We are being held right up against the lighthouse lamp, and it burns. This is the emotional equivalent of body horror. It feels like all of our beloved belongings are being thrown overboard, but I promise they aren’t.

They are becoming.

[muletia]

guys... please let me cook... and hear me out on this...

obsessed!megop x reader

but not in a 'we're rivals fighting for the love of our lives' or 'sharing our darling' way — more like 'after the messiest divorce in the universe, we got back together, but now YOU are entering this relationship with us'. basically, a poly relationship sprinkled with insanity and horniness

very incoherent and loose headcannons word count: 1100 18+ content at the end (nothing detailed tho)

Let’s assume Megatron and Optimus sort things out. After eons of brutal fighting, they go back to their roots—being with each other, not against each other. They find common ground in their conflict, reaching a compromise between ideologies. Maybe it’s when you entered their lives, and their intense feelings for you began to overlap, eventually aligning on the same wavelength. They realized they could allow themselves a fresh, better start. Build a relationship anew, this time on sturdier foundations. Escape the trap of repeating the same moves— ones that only slowed their rival down rather than destroying him outright. In this case, you’re the catalyst for peace, the olive branch that reconciled two warring factions, all while bringing an end to the longest, most toxic divorce trial in the universe.

When there’s a breakthrough in their relationship, the tangled mess of emotions—hatred, longing, and fervor—slowly begins to untangle. That’s when they disappear from your life for a while. From everyone’s daily life, really. Megatron no longer sat brooding on the Nemesis, scheming your next abduction, and Optimus never returned to base after announcing he was going to "clear his mind." They vanished like stones dropped in water. Zero contact. Not even Soundwave could locate his master. The Autobots were just as clueless.

For you, this situation seemed perfect—you could finally start living a normal life. No more getting kidnapped at 3 a.m., no more being stuck under house arrest at the Autobot base. No more deranged warlord holding you on his lap, promising passionate fantasies that could never come true as long as his rival kept a protective watch over you. And no more overprotective Autobot leader spending hours parked in your driveway. You were free. For about a month.

Ratchet is the first to inform you. After weeks of complete radio silence, they finally managed to locate Optimus. And despite the routine drama of abductions and rescues, you couldn’t help but feel happy. And relieved. Because you missed him, even if you were exhausted by his antics. Maybe you even missed Megatron a little... Despite his madness, he could be charming and intriguing, at least. And everything was going great, just fine—until Ratchet informed you that Optimus was at your house. And he wasn’t alone.

From that point on, you became entangled in their fledgling, turbulent relationship. Passionate, yet resembling a ticking time bomb. Still unexplored. And the funniest part of it all? You were living a much better life than before, even though you were the only sane person in this relationship.

They’ve infected each other with their mania, directing it toward each other whenever you’re not around. It’s especially convenient for you because now Megatron has someone else to fixate on when he feels possessive or craves physical contact. He can take it out on Optimus, who also acts as a brake on his partner’s urges when they get too overwhelming when the need for touch prickles at his claws. No more abductions and schemes—now he can vent on Optimus. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, though. When you come home from work, both of them are eagerly ready to show you just how much they’ve missed you.

They quickly find a way to insert themselves into your home. To have a space that’s yours, where they know you’ll always return—and they take full advantage of it. You come back from work, and they’re already there. You’re just taking off your shoes, and you can already feel warm claws brushing against your exposed neck, followed by gentler servos caressing your cheek. Megatron wastes no time, pressing his sharp dentae to your bare skin. Optimus, ever the considerate one, asks how your day was and reminds his partner that you deserve at least a minute to relax. A brake. You go to prepare dinner, and behind you, there’s the subtle sound of metal tapping against metal and an even quieter, low moan...

With two Cerberuses at your side, you’re practically untouchable. And while Optimus doesn’t go beyond stern verbal warnings or intimidation by size, Megatron is ready to demolish your boss’s house if he dares make a snide remark at you. This dynamic also shows when you’re around the Autobots (it took them a long time to accept the new reality, by the way). One sassy comment from Arcee, and your protector is ready to return to the warpath to defend your honor. There are even times when Optimus fiercely defends his partner when someone on his team doubts Megatron’s reformation.

Even though they have each other now, content with their companionship and finally feeling fulfilled, they still can’t stop talking about you. Declarations of the passion they feel for one another almost always transform into monologues about you—about their longing, the softness they associate with you, the belief that if you were with them right now, they’d feel that sense of completeness again. Wholeness. Fulfillment. Harmony. Caught up in each other, but still aching with longing for their human. Their beloved. Without you, they’re like planets without a sun—lost, unproductive. They need you to function on a basic level. The three of you are inseparable.

The end of the war means more free time. Both of them are now unemployed, so all their attention shifts to nurturing your relationship. Including in the bedroom... Suppressing their feelings for so many years, burying them deep in their sparks even as they fiercely clawed for freedom, they’re surely brimming with frustration—frustration that spills into their most intimate, primal needs. They infect you with their fever, proving just how unbearably they’ve missed you and how deeply the desire to have you has consumed them. How it’s burrowed into their processors, taking over their lives, manipulating every choice and decision.

Some days, they can’t wait. The conversation about you goes on too long, dives into too intense, too intimate territory, mocking their self-control and teasing hidden components. Sometimes they climax, chanting your name, even when you’re not around. Sometimes you witness their "games." You don’t intervene, yet have full control. Watching with your own eyes just how utterly dependent they are on you, how they can’t release without your approval.

If having one titan in love with an ordinary mortal wasn’t already an empowering feeling, now you have two, completely at your mercy. Both burning with their own desire and all the tools needed to relieve it—yet it is your word that is final.

try not to develop a god complex challenge, lmao

[fear-is-truth]

how do you think patrick will react when you try to break things off with him?

breaking up with patrick bateman .ᐟ.ᐟ

tw ; mentions of drug use, homicide

a/n: apologies for the word salad.. my brain is kinda fried from my classes. also he’s such a pretty crier

𝜗ϱ ┆ denial & gaslighting

his immediate reaction would likely be disbelief. the idea of someone rejecting him, particularly someone he views as an extension of his life, would be incomprehensible to him. this disbelief would manifest as condescension and dismissal, accompanied by gaslighting.

“you’re leaving me?” he’d say with a strained smile, eyes narrowing to slits. “that’s ridiculous. you don’t mean that.”

patrick wouldn’t process the emotional weight of your decision, instead assuming that you’re acting irrationally or that something external has influenced you. his need to maintain control would drive him to undermine your perspective, likely accusing you of being under the influence of drugs.

“have you been doing too much cocaine? or maybe those diet pills? you’re not thinking clearly, darling.”

this gaslighting would be less about convincing you and more about reinforcing his own denial. patrick lives in a world where his perception is reality, and your decision to leave disrupts that. denial is his first line of defense.

𝜗ϱ ┆ manipulation & desperation

as the conversation continues, patrick would pivot to emotional manipulation. while he lacks true empathy, he is an expert at imitating emotional responses to “fit in”. he’d beg you to reconsider, framing his argument that appeals to your sense of loyalty or guilt.

“think about everything i’ve done for you. everything we’ve had together. you can’t just walk away.”

if manipulation doesn’t work, his desperation would become more overt. while patrick is typically composed, cracks in his facade could begin to show. you might see a flash of raw panic in his eyes.

“you don’t know what you’re doing. you’re making a mistake.”

𝜗ϱ ┆ begging

patrick would eventually resort to begging, and this is where the irony comes in—remember the time he dumped evelyn with an air of theatrical superiority, telling her that she’s “simply not terribly important” to him.

“you can’t do this to me. please, don’t go. we can work this out—whatever this is, we can fix it. i’ll change.”

of course, he is incapable of real change, and his promises would ring hollow. but the desperation in his voice would feel oddly genuine.

𝜗ϱ ┆“i need to return some videotapes.”

when it becomes clear that he can’t sway you, patrick would retreat, unwilling to let you witness the full extent of his unraveling. maintaining appearances is critical, even in moments of personal crisis. with a curt, almost robotic tone, he’d excuse himself with his signature non sequitur:

“i need to return some videotapes.”

this statement, bizarre and out of place, serves two purposes. first, it allows him to escape the confrontation without completely breaking down in front of you. second, it reaffirms his facade of control.

𝜗ϱ ┆ private despair

once alone, patrick would no longer be able to hold himself together. the breakup would be a complete fracturing of his identity. while he outwardly projects confidence, his inner world is fragile and deeply insecure. your rejection would strip away the validation he relies on to maintain his ego. he’d cry—silent, bitter tears of frustration and humiliation.

𝜗ϱ ┆ homicide as a coping mechanism

but patrick is incapable of processing emotions in a healthy way, so the tears wouldn’t lead to introspection or change. instead, they’d fuel a darker spiral—he’d channel his feelings of loss into compulsive, destructive behaviour. violence is often an outlet for him, and your departure could serve as a catalyst for a spree of homicidal acts. (e.g killing homeless people)

[dollypopup]

People don't give Penelope enough props for the absolute BRAVERY it took in asking Colin for a kiss!!! I am tired of the rancid takes of 'oh, it makes her look pathetic-' no. Penelope asking for that kiss is VITAL in her growth, and pivotal to Polin's love story. Some flowers for Colin, first, for having put in years of work into their relationship so that Penelope trusts Colin to the point where she would even dare to ask it of him, but flowers to Penelope for asking. She trusts him and she's familiar with him and she KNOWS she's safe with him, and she took a leap of faith. So much of Penelope's arc is hiding what she wants and who she is, melding into the shadows, putting on a front. She doesn't confide in much of ANYONE. Not even Eloise knew about her love for Colin, or her existence as Lady Whistledown. Penelope keeps so much close to the chest.

Which makes it such an amazing moment when she opens up with Colin. When she reveals what she desires, and when he responds with 'If you want this, I'll give it to you'. So in that scene, when she's heartbroken and sad, after she has written of her own humiliation in Lady Whistledown to circulate amongst the ton, adding her own name to her list of bullies, when she thinks she is well and firmly on the shelf, and Colin comes to check on her, and he won't allow her to think badly of herself, and he even goes so far as to bribe her maid to have a moment with her, she opens her heart up enough to ask him for what she wants.

And that is beautiful. It deserves props and recognition. To ask for what we want as women is radical, and I'm frankly sick and tired of people thinking she's 'pathetic' for it. Penelope is brave in this scene. She is brave and vulnerable and Colin is there to tell her that is okay. That it should be rewarded. That he will catch her and he is there and she is right to trust him. He is the safety net as she tumbles and steps into the unknown.

Penelope Featherington looked the man that she loves in the eye, and she asked him to kiss her. How many of us would have the iron spine necessary for that? Sure, maybe she thinks she's hit rock bottom, but she could have swallowed her truth as she so often did. She chose not to. Penelope Featherington, who only ever voiced her opinions on a page, anonymously, stood before him with nothing to protect her heart, bare-faced, and told Colin Bridgerton she wanted him to kiss her. That she wanted to be loved.

And he did. He did and it was lovely. It was a fantastic kiss, and in that moment, you can tell that she *was* loved. Is loved. He held her like she was starlight, precious, delicately grasping her chin, brushing her cheek; he pecked her once and then went in for more. That kiss had desire and longing and tenderness in it. It was gentle and wholehearted. It was them learning each other, the both of them flaying away another layer for the other to keep. Penelope asked him for what she wanted and she got it. And it was ultimately the catalyst for all her desires to come to fruition.

I feel like we as women are told we must be passive so often: don't be too loud, don't ask them out, don't look 'desperate'. But fuck that: Penelope is an active participant in her love story. She asks Colin for what she wants and he provides it for her eagerly. That kiss made him realize that what he felt for her was far more than just friendship, and it started with 'Would you kiss me, Colin?' and ended with him outrunning HORSES to catch up with Penelope so he could, on his knees, profess how much he wants her and how he can't stop dreaming of their kiss. She toppled that first domino. May we all be so courageous. May we all be so bold. May we all be so loved.

Penelope put her own love story into motion with that kiss. We should fucking applaud her.

[beuxwhoyouare]

Getting Away with It

I almost got away with it. Truthfully, I didn't even know I would go as far as taking him out. But I mean he had it coming, I heard all the horrible things he had done that I could hear through the penthouse walls in the building I worked in. All the times he'd abuse a partner, slur people in the halls, not to mention act like he was a god because he made good money in sales or whatever.

He crossed a line one day, as I saw him nudge someone into the street nearly getting them hit by a bus. So sure was it right to take him out? Maybe not, but did I feel good taking one bad person off the streets...absolutely. Unfortunately, what I did was caught on camera and the legal system takes that narrative with no context and runs with it.

So I mean yeah I almost got away with a drastic good deed. But now I'm here on a life sentence for murder. I like routine in my day and in here the days are so regimented it's not exactly the kind of routine I find myself a fan of. I remained on good behaviour until the guards took pity on me and recommended me for supervised community service aid. Basically, still in jail but instead of working a job in jail, I could go out and help them clean garbage off the side of the road with parolees on the outside and random others doing a "good deed."

That's where I met Jacob. He was on parole for driving while intoxicated. Truthfully, I find that way worse than what I did. Like that feels so selfish...getting behind the wheel while drunk. Despicable. But clearly it's been the catalyst for him to turn his life around. He was in jail for a year and been on parole ever since. He started working out in jail while getting certified as a trainer. There aren't alot of jobs life after lockup that don't discriminate against you for your record so it makes sense that he'd want to do something where you can be your own boss.

We were in the van being taken to the stretch of highway in between developing parts of the city. It's crazy how looking north and south you can see parts of town and smack in the middle there's this road with tall weeds and shrubbery lining it. We were joined by a class of university student volunteers who were advised to keep their distance from us. Something we all sort of ignored since there's so much trash to pick up.

"Hey Lu, I gotta show you this thing this crazy old hippie gave me back in town." Jacob quietly told me as we scoured the brush for bottles.

"Dude we have things to do and I don't really want them to take me off this shift." I begrudgingly replied.

"Nah nah the guards aren't even looking at us they're flirting with the female students over there."

Sure enough our bozo headed guards were chatting it up with some girls that were supposed to be helping us. That's when I glanced over and saw Jacob holding what looked like an antiqued golden coin or rounded stone with a symbol scratched into it.

"The dude gave it to me in a box and said if you hold it in your hand and then make skin-to-skin contact with someone else you like transfer consciousness."

"So I see life on the outside is just as crazy as it is in here."

"You mean to tell me you don't even think it could be a little bit true? C'mon bro this could be your chance to get out out of jail. Shit if you don't try it I might as well. I'm tired of all these probationary restrictions. I just wanna hit restart."

"You're already out. It can't be that bad?" I said as I turned around to see him sneakily hurrying off towards one of the college students.

"Shit what is he doing."

I rushed over to where Jacob was and pulled him by the loops of his jeans to not cause a scene. Stopping straight next to one of the students picking up trash a little bit away from his group.

"Dude I don't know what you're aiming to do but if it doesn't work you're the one that's going to look like the insane paroled convict with an ambiguous item in his hand that could be misconstrued as a weapon."

"Listen, if it works it works, but if it doesn't there's no harm no foul and we can call it all a joke."

Before I could even protest, Jacob turned on his confident charisma to whistle over the nearby student. As the curious student walked closer I could hear the narrative Jacob was intricately weaving pretending to care about what he was studying and if he could tell us both more about it.

"I'm so sorry kid, I didn't even catch your name. I'm Jacob and this is Lu." he said with a devlish smile.

"I'm Mark." he said with a slight hesitance.

"Well Mark you shared so much with me can I share something with you? A party game you can take with you to your friends back at school?"

"Uh sure yeah."

"So you find a smaller coin or stone and one person places their hand on the bottom of it and the other on top. The person with their hand on the bottom has to try to and tap the person with their hand on top without flinching"

These rules made absolutely no sense and why would they Jacob's plan was himbo incarnate. Like it was so dim I could see Mark tense up and begin to shift away back towards his friends. He tried to say goodbye to Jacob but that's when I saw this crazed energy flood Jacob's eyes. The next things that happened felt like a blur in slow motion.

Mark turned around to return to his classmates with haste. Jacob quickly began following without running to not alert the guards yet shouting for him to wait up because it's all good fun. And before I knew it I took off running to stop Jacob from taking advantage of an innocent person.

Jacob leaped at Mark and tackled him to the ground but it's only the moment when I got there to break it up did the guards finally notice what was going on, rushing over.

He pulled the stone out and tried to grasp at Marks leg under his wider legged jean, while I reach out to stop that hand. THEN BAM. Everything became darker and several flashes of light happened.

When I came to the guards were pulling me up. I heard what I thought was Mark's voice saying the one in the jumpsuit attacked him. But I didn't run after him? As things pulled back into focus for my eyes after the darkened haze. I saw Mark being calmed down by a professor and a guard but then I saw who he was point at.....I was my body but I was to the other side.....

My body turned to me matching my confused expression and began crying hysterically asking what was going on. I looked down and saw the confirmation of what happened. I was wearing Jacob's clothing. And if my body's surprised too....then that means....God no!

The guards rangled up the convicts and put them all shackled back onto the van as another came to apologize to the university professor and her class along with "Mark". Another guard came up to me saying he knows that Lu is a murderer and that I didn't start any of this so I was getting a slap on the wrist, especially after "Mark" insisted I tried to stop the attack. The guards left and told the rest of us we could go.

The student approached me with that same devilish smile I recognized from before. His voice coming out unfamiliar in sound but with an all too familiar malice.

"Hey thank you again from saving me from that gruesome murderer mister. I didn't even catch your name. I'm Mark." he said with a wink.

"Jacob what the fuck are you doing?" I frantically asked.

"I'm giving you a way to get away with it all and me a clean start. But I gotta go back to school so here take my number down." the imposter student airdropped his details to me before scurrying away.

I was still in shock from everything that just happened. Like this cannot be real how the hell is this happening. Where do I go okay I can do this. I fumbled through my wallet as I searched for an address to head to. Eventually I made my way to Jacob's place. It was a hotel that was turned into extended stay studio.

I walked into the foreign "home" that was now all mine. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. This can't be happening that poor kid is now in jail. Oh god....wait. I'm not on the run why am I this stressed. Think think how do I fix this. An exercise ball peaked out from the side of the bed. My new athletic stature made me think maybe catering to it's physical senses could help me breath and calm down.

I did a few crunches but still felt a pang of guilt hitting my stomach. Oh god I need to fix this but where is the coin? I can't leave that kid incarcerated, that's robbing him of his whole life. Almost like clockwork my new phone buzzed with a text.

"Hey. Thanks again for saving me stud." the unknown number made itself known with that context.

"Jacob we need to fix this. That poor kid doesn't deserve this."

"Who's Jacob? This is Mark! And I think I deserve all the opportunity I've worked hard to get. Hey by any chance have bodily urges hit you? I'm not gay but after the incident when I saw you I got realllll hard all of sudden. I think this kid's gay or something."

I was furious reading these texts still skirting responsibility.

"Enough! Where are you we have to talk this is ridiculous."

The phone buzzed as I opened to see a location pin as a picture came in...my jaw dropped.

"Oh you wanna meet irl daddy? Come on over."

I stormed over to the location of the pin…I’m not going to let him get away with this.

[sarahreesbrennan]

I remember reading in one of your blog entries (years ago??) that in the new book you were writing, the main character's *sister* had cancer. Does that mean that Alice was originally the main character of Long Live Evil? Was she going to go into the book to save Rae, instead of Rae going in to save herself?

How extremely kind of you to remember!

No, that was actually a YA murder mystery that I wrote while ill, revised while recovering, and sent out into the world where it died on submission. (Which means we sent it out to about 12 editors and the editor either said no, or said yes and took it to acquisitions - a group of people at the publisher including sales and marketing - and acquisitions said no.)

One editor told me she really wanted and really tried to buy it. Another person who worked in publishing (and has since changed jobs, or I wouldn’t share this) said the response at her acquisitions was - if you like this writer, find the next her (implications about health and youth were made).

I was terrified my agent was going to ditch me too, but she said ‘We’ll sell that one day, for now let’s write the next thing.’

I remember another writer telling me she missed my work that wasn’t a tie-in, and I felt ashamed to tell her it wasn’t that I wasn’t writing other things - it was that I couldn’t publish them.

The tie-ins meanwhile were paying the bills (they still are tbh!) and I was and remain so grateful for them. But I also really loved writing them - especially my Sabrina tie-ins, you don’t forget the first, and it reminded me I want to write horror and poly one day - and how they got me to love and sympathise with so many fandoms.

I see the burnout of caregivers all around me, and I wanted to write the story of one. But maybe I also wanted to take a step back from cancer. I didn’t think I did, at the time. I had a whole lot of things I tried writing before Long Live Evil, and I think some of them were really good. One of my critique partners gave me a lipstick with the same name as someone in the murder mystery. There was a romance novel another critique partner said was her favourite thing I’d ever written. But none had someone with cancer at the heart of the story.

And even though Rae isn’t much like me, maybe I had to start there. You can’t make real magic using someone else’s liver. Maybe I had to wait to be brave enough to use my own liver.

I do get requests for advice on how to cope with rejection of your writing, and I always worried I didn’t have anything else to say, but I suppose my example says - if you can, (and I know it’s hard, you feel so terrible at writing and so useless) (and you love the work you’ve done so much and you don’t see a way forward to loving the next thing) (but still, if you possibly can) write the next thing.

Even if the first thing sells, you’ll want the next thing one day. Writing the next thing is more writing practise, so it’ll make you better. Write the next thing.

Ultimately I’m really glad Long Live Evil was my comeback book. I think it needed to be. It took the time it took.

But maybe it was a shade of that past book (where the heroine’s sister with cancer was six, so not much like any of the Time of Iron characters) that made me think of the YA version of this book, which I always had in my mind as something I was intentionally hewing away from - a more straightforward book, a book that might have sold better - in which shy reader Alice was the hero. She’s the one with the suggestive hero name - Alice through the looking glass - the heroine looks, and the more projectable-upon personality. She’d get called annoying less often (though still some, because she’s a girl), partly because she is (with love, Rae knows I’m right) a genuinely less annoying person. Much kinder, much sweeter, and much better at in-depth reading! Her sister being in trouble would’ve been a backstory, a catalyst point, and - you’re totally right - a great motivation for her to get the Flower. Saving a family member is a much more sympathetic and heroic motivation than saving yourself and one I do love (the Hunger Games, Labyrinth, Mahy’s the Changeover, and I write it a lot!). I think Snarky While Tragically Dying Rae would’ve been a pretty popular side character, too. I think it would’ve been a good book! Just not mine.

I love your question because I love thinking about POV, and all the decisions that are the building blocks of a story. To me, the Alice centric Time of Iron is a version that exists. As are several versions of the Lia centric Time of Iron. And versions centring other characters exist to me, too. (Eric, absolutely.)

Speaking of POV musing, I think Rahela the wicked stepsister featured more in the musical than the book. If the Time of Iron series ever became a TV show (and at this point in time I think I’d rather a movie because it wouldn’t… get cancelled…) and I got to write it (don’t know why I would…) I would start with the beginnings for three characters about to go on a journey to somewhere strange to them: Key in the Cauldron, Rae in the hospital, and Vasilisa in the icelands. There are so many possibilities! And I really wanted the sense that there were so many possibilities, too.

But I wanted the chronically ill one to be the centre of the story, and for it to be her villain origin story, and to ask a lot of questions (hence a lot of villains!) about who gets villainised and why. And I thought hers, to my mind, would be the most fun of all the possible stories.

So that’s the one I made. But Long Live Evil has a lot of origins. Thank you for remembering one of them! I don’t think I would’ve dared tell the story, if things hadn’t worked out for me (so far, fingers crossed).

And I also tell it to be clear my publisher was taking a RISK with me and Long Live Evil, and I really appreciate that, and I’m so happy it’s worked out for them (again so far, early days, fingers crossed, etc).

I hope some writers - whether in the process of submission, rejection or making the choices that are the building blocks of story - find this helpful, and some readers find it interesting.

Let this be one of the universes in which your story is told.

[ennn]

Guys, Agatha and Rio fighting because of Billy is OKAY

Because it’s not really about Billy. It’s about them. Billy’s just the immediate problem, the catalyst for a fight that’s been brewing since the first episode.

Now I know there’s been more focus on Billy lately, the same way Wandavision at times focused on Monica and her hero origin story – but Billy's story is here because of what it tells us about Agatha – who's projecting hard on the boy (see my other meta post on their relationship).

And this development isn't a twist. The situation between two has always been tense (in ways good and bad). And it looks like these two messy bitches are basically making their relationship problems everyone’s problem.

Let’s look at what the text’s been telling us, shall we?

GIF credit to michaun

There’s animosity between Agatha and Rio that’s unresolved

As sexy their fight in episode one was (and boy was it), there’s certainly anger and resentment between the two, or at least the easily combustible grounds for it. Now we have an idea of why Agatha is mad at Rio (Nicky) although we're less clear about what Agatha did to piss Rio off: was it just Agatha running away or was it something specific she did?

Regardless I don't think Rio is kidding when making threats of bodily harm.

GIF credit: sersi

And neither does Agatha. But she knows all too well how quickly Rio caves to her pouty flirting (and let’s be honest Rio knows too), and basically manages to get a reprieve from her exe’s retribution in episode 1.

GIF credit: marril96

The agreement: They’ll continue fighting it out once Agatha gets her powers back.

We know this is a serious threat on the backburner because you can hear Agatha muttering about how "she's unstoppable" at the start of episode 2 while planning to flee.

More obviously, Agatha touches on it again in episode 4, asking for Rio to hold off on her violence until she finishes the Road, and they can hang out like old times: “Maybe the Road is like Switzerland…”

GIF credit daisjohnson

I absolutely get how it can be confusing because these two clearly still care for each other and are still attracted to each other, with lots of yearning looks across episode 4 and 5. As Schaeffer puts it, the muscle memory of that love is still there, feelings are still there. They were in love and there is still love between them.

But they never worked through what tore them apart in the first place.

And you can see this when Rio gently and firmly reminds Agatha that Billy isn't her son – that Nicky is really gone, and Rio still did the thing that Agatha hates her for.

Agatha closes herself off and runs, and Rio feels her scar tear open again.

Notably, Rio isn't sorry for doing her job. Her heartfelt confession – possibly the most emotionally vulnerable she can be – isn't an apology. She didn't want to hurt Agatha, but she couldn't do what Agatha wanted either. There's a disconnect there.

Chaotic vs Lawful: Billy is basically the new Nicky

Now we know Nicky was the reason they first separated. And it’s still a theory but I think there's a good chance of Rio wanting Billy dead because he probably should be. Billy Maximoff, born from The Hex, "broke the rules" to survive and some piece of Billy Kaplan still lives on despite a fatal car crash.

And that's partly why Agatha is hardcore-projecting on Billy, Agatha "I did not break the rules, they simply bent to my power" Harkness has always been a rule-breaker. That's what started her path to become the infamous witch-killer.

Not to mention Agatha is a shameless survivor. She'll certainly cheat or take shortcuts if she can get away with it. See episode 3:

GIF credit: daisjohnsons

Rio, by contrast, follows certain rules – which Agatha taunts her for — "You can't kill me, it's not allowed" – and she has a job she has to do, even if she doesn't want to. There’s a clash here of value systems as well.

To be fair, at this point Rio's motivations aren't entirely clear. It's possible Rio just wants more dead witches, or she gets impatient and angry and decides to go at that emotional vulnerability as a way of hurting her (“You’re vulnerable.” “Only physically.”)

Either way, Rio taking away a boy that Agatha now considers hers (even if only with a massive amount of projecting) after Agatha’s freshly reliving and processing the absolute devastation of Nicky's death. That is sure to bring things to an open conflict.

And these two (in their own way) are so dramatic.

Change and Growth

There are other factors as well, in terms of Agatha’s character arc and journey, which I’ve talked about in my other meta post on these two being star-crossed lovers.

It's a tragic, complicated story with these two. It’s about them, it’s about more than them.

[crystalsenergy]

Challenges

& learnings of your personal year

(Solar Return chart) ☀️ Asc ✨

The goals are to transform challenges and discover growth in your personal journey!

Based on my personal experience and that of others, I've noticed that the Ascendant in the Solar Return chart largely defines what we deal with during the year.

Indeed, the topics already known to be associated with the Ascendant for the year receive much emphasis from the sign in the Solar Return chart.

I have a post on the meanings of Ascendants in signs in the Solar Return chart.

The intention is not to foresee what will "inevitably" be touched upon, no, but rather to use the astrological moment to understand what will truly be brought to the surface within us.

Think of yourself as a vast cauldron with many colors.

Like a gradient, colorful cauldron… 🌈

And with each astrological movement, it's as if things from within us begin to bubble up from this cauldron - things we already knew about, or maybe didn't…

Being a deep cauldron full of ingredients, a mixture (just like we are!), among other reasons, perhaps you may not be fully aware or consciously remember all aspects of your personality that need healing, balancing, expanding, evolving.

Because of this, I believe in the importance of seeing astrological movements as catalysts to stir up everything that is already within us.

Nothing that astrological movements bring continuously and intensely was not with us to some extent, whether on a personal level or in the morphogenetic field*

(*= difficulties that our family members bring, which we may not necessarily have activated, but which can be brought to the surface because, to some extent, even if slight, it existed in our personality too).

Therefore, the extent to which these issues will arise and affect each person will be extremely personal.

Below are some possible challenges for each Ascendant:

In terms of TEMPERAMENT, behavioral tendencies, first IMPRESSIONS that you will convey.

Ascendant in Aries: agitation, more nervous temperament, greater impatience, difficulty asking for help, impression of being angrier, more serious, more impenetrable, tendencies towards reactivity and impulsivity, excessive focus on the physical body and appearance.

The importance of reconsidering what it means to be authentic and a person with presence. Do you worry too much about achieving a specific image? An image of being strong, of being impenetrable, for example.

Ascendant in Taurus: difficulty in leaving situations (due to attachment, lack of initiative, comfort zone), more stubborn behavior than usual. Slower to move forward, more tendency to approach the world purely materialistically.

May have a tendency to accumulate more unnecessary things. The importance of understanding the real value of the things you have in your life now and what you intend to do with what you have (possessions and values, also, value in terms of ethics, even morality).

Ascendant in Gemini: challenges with being present in the here and now. Mental inconsistency, difficulty focusing, more agitated temperament, greater possibility of being distracted, difficulty having just one goal.

A busy mind, filled with interests but lacking concentration. The importance of working on effective communication.

Ascendant in Cancer: may take everything personally, memories from the past that you are still emotionally attached to but that do not serve you well may resurface, difficulty moving towards new things, such as new relationships, new emotions.

The importance of looking at your emotions as signals of what still needs to be healed. It will be a year with many emotional things coming to the surface! Observe.

Ascendant in Leo: difficulty with stubbornness, excessive focus on appearance, on what people will see and think of you. Slightly inflated and distorted self-awareness. Pride. Defense mechanisms. Reactivity.

Issues with self-esteem needing to be looked at with more care and healthy self-awareness. Approach to the world less focused on ego.

Ascendant in Virgo: more tendency to deal with the world purely materialistically and utilitarianly. Review your concept of time, of usefulness (yours and others'). More connection with the material world, exaggeration in focusing on productivity, on completing tasks, on feeling useful. Issues with self-criticism and perfectionism.

Be mindful not to fall into jobs and tasks that do not contribute to your growth, that reinforce patterns of endless demand, without ever "really getting there". The importance of paying attention to how much time you allocate to other areas of your life, outside of tasks and work. Physical health care is also important, look into this area as well.

Ascendant in Libra: a tendency to be more predisposed to environments and people, which, in a more negative sense, may end up representing a predisposition to others' desires.

Positively, this has good meanings, but as the focus of this post is on aspects to pay more attention to, I mention: difficulty saying no; greater need for approval; whether you perceive it or not, changing a lot depending on the environment, Libran issues in imbalance that already existed in your personality coming more to the surface in terms of your relationship with yourself and your way of presenting yourself to the world.

Ascendant in Scorpio: challenges with deeper emotions, including those that have been stored away in your emotional field for some time, which will now be brought to the surface with great force, since Scorpio brings forth everything that was hidden in a very strong way, challenges with anger, hurt, fantasies of revenge, which can be quite self-destructive.

In general, challenges with emotionally deep situations. It is also important to pay attention to how much negative and self-destructive patterns are brought to the surface to be seen. Do not hold onto them. Let go, release everything that does not serve you and/or others well!

Ascendant in Sagittarius: challenges with sincerity, excessive humor in meaningless situations, approach to avoiding emotional issues or emotionally more complex issues, toxic positivity, impulsivity, impatience, invasive extroversion, setting aside planning in situations where it would be important, acting with a certain irresponsibility.

It is important to see which points of your personality will be brought to the surface and act in the most appropriate way to be more healthy!

Ascendant in Capricorn: challenges with emotional approaches and being more sensitive to yourself and to life itself. A heavier, more serious, overly responsible approach that leaves no time and space for rest, leisure, and lightness. Dealing with difficulties and problems in a more controlling manner. Competitiveness. Individualism.

Limiting beliefs coming more to the surface. Greater focus on traditional ideas, visions, and practices that no longer serve your own good. It is important to review your paradigms, limiting beliefs, including in relation to your professional life, and how your more serious approach to yourself only reflects an inner child to be rediscovered, released! The lighter we are, the happier we live. And the less serious we are.

Ascendant in Aquarius: challenges with looking at yourself and others more closely, including emotionally, focusing on rationalizing everything, avoiding understanding subtlety and nuances (moving away from your intuition and the more sensitive aspects of your personality), excessive impersonality, excessive detachment, mental inflexibility.

It is important to review how much your internal life is based on logic and how healthy this is for the feminine-masculine balance in your personality. We are one. We don't need halves to fill us, right? Your feminine side may also need to be more integrated.

Ascendant in Pisces: more tendency to connect with energies from the external, from the collective unconscious and conscious, but especially the former. Greater tendency to get lost in the roles of this collective unconscious and have difficulties in centering on your own essence.

The importance of reviewing and reconnecting with your sensitivity, where there are things from the past and from your unconscious to be reinterpreted, transmuted, and perhaps even a moment to balance your mediumship, if you believe in that.

[bunnwich]

A bit of controversial post maybe??? (feel free to skip)

Not to be controversial but I keep seeing how ppl are reading the “Leona is kind to Sally” situation and just thinking how my perspective is bit…different.  (if you don't care about my opinion ofc you can always skip)

SPOILERS FOR EVENT

When I saw it, these were my thoughts:

"Oh I love this so much!! It's adorable for one, and I’ve been saying for years that Leona is only mean to ppl he doesn't like/finds annoying or doesn’t care about. Like he HAS the ability, like everyone else to be polite and nice but we only see him interact with ppl who annoy him etc. Which is...um most of the cast. AND we rarely get a peak at how he would be with someone he likes.

I hope that this helps ppl see that he can be gentler to act toward someone he's SUPPOSED to like as a friend or even like romantically. 

Banter is one thing but I don’t believe he'd ever act straight-up rude to someone he was true friends with, dating or had a crush on?" 

So, a lot of ppl loved this scene I DO TOO! However…

This whole “Leona said men ain’t shit” joke is worrisome. Like…do you guys think that Leona would in fact be ruder or less gentle to a masc or nonbinary S/O vs a femme one? Some of these remarks…feel uh not really nice to those who have nonbinary/masc pairing with him.

He grew up in a matriarchal society, he respects women NO DOUBT.

I just think it would be nice to for us to be kinder in how we phrase things like this. I know they are jokes but still Yumes and ships mean a lot to ppl and I think it's just another catalyst for masc and masc-leaning fans to feel further alienated in the fandom space, yk?

Do I believe he respects women OFC, but much like those who had the “consent king” take about the voiceline of him being offended at Scully kissing the MC's hand I ONLY agree to an extent. WHY? Bc Leona is a big-ass hypocrite! Leona, for all I defend him, is not always keen on physical boundaries himself and can be quite rude. I think that line is more him being annoyed at Scully than genuinely worried for anyone's virtue, yk?

And to bring it back to the Sally/Leona thing I think it's not just bc Sally is a woman he is nice to her, bc she is SMART and cunning and was quickly underestimated by the rest of the cast. She was able take care of herself. He liked that about her. I really don't think it was just cause she was girl by itself.

Idk thats all I have to say, this is just my opinion as usual but it just didn’t sit right with me from a fandom perspective and I genuinely feel the “Leona is the feminist king of all time” is not a full reading of the character when we’ve seen him be nice to others and neutral to other women. Plus, he’s IS a hypocrite about the manners thing! The cast even call him out on it.

Leona is still flawed just like any other character in twst and I don't think him “bowing down at every women's feet” is something I subscribe to. Not in the way some ppl are acting anyways.

And frankly how some ppl are wording themselves in their tags and reblogs of these posts about Leona “drinking respect women’s juice bc he dislikes men” feels alienating toward those who have nonbinary/masc ships with him.

This is meant as no offense to anyone's fun I just thought I’d give my perspective on it. 

TLDR: I do think that it is genuinely funny and endearing to see the juxtaposition of how Leona treats everyone else VS Sally HOWEVER I don't think it is purely a gender thing and making that just doesn't sit right with me.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hey! I was reading on your character arcs and was wondering how you would write character regression over the course of the story :)

Hey there, fellow writer! Thanks so much for your message. Sorry, this response took so long. But, I'm thrilled that you found my posts on character arcs helpful, and I'm excited to dive into the topic of character regression with you. It's a fascinating and complex aspect of storytelling that can add so much depth to our narratives when done well.

What is Character Regression?

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, let's define what we mean by character regression. In essence, character regression is the opposite of character growth or development. It's when a character moves backwards in terms of their personal growth, beliefs, or behavior. They might lose skills they once had, revert to old, harmful patterns, or abandon positive traits they've developed.

This doesn't mean your character simply becomes "worse" or "evil." Regression is a nuanced process that can happen for various reasons and manifest in different ways. It's about your character losing ground on their personal journey, facing setbacks, or struggling with challenges that push them back towards old habits or mindsets.

Why Use Character Regression?

Now, you might be wondering, "Why would I want my character to regress? Isn't that the opposite of what we usually aim for in storytelling?" Great question! While it's true that we often focus on character growth, regression can be an incredibly powerful tool in your storytelling toolkit. Here's why:

Realism: Let's face it, real life isn't a straight line of constant improvement. We all face setbacks, make mistakes, and sometimes fall back into old patterns. Including regression in your character's journey can make them feel more authentic and relatable.

Conflict and Tension: Regression can create internal conflict for your character and tension in your story. It gives your character something to struggle against, adding depth to their arc.

Emotional Impact: Watching a character we care about struggle or backslide can be incredibly emotional for readers, creating a strong connection to the story.

Set-up for Greater Growth: Sometimes, a character needs to hit rock bottom before they can truly grow. Regression can set the stage for even more significant character development later in the story.

Exploring Complex Themes: Character regression allows you to delve into themes like addiction, trauma, fear of change, or the difficulty of personal growth.

How to Write Character Regression

Alright, now that we've covered the what and why, let's get into the how. Writing character regression requires a delicate touch and careful planning. Here are some steps and tips to help you navigate this tricky terrain:

(Beware Very Long Post!)

Establish a Baseline

Before you can show regression, you need to establish where your character starts. What skills do they have? What are their core beliefs and values? What positive traits define them? This baseline will be crucial for showing how the character changes over time.

For example, let's say we have a character named Alex who starts the story as a confident, outgoing person with a strong sense of right and wrong. This is our baseline. (I will be using "Alex" as an example character for the remainder of the post)

Identify the Catalyst

Regression doesn't happen in a vacuum. There's usually a triggering event or series of events that start the process. This could be a traumatic experience, a significant loss, a series of failures, or even a gradual wearing down of the character's resolve.

In Alex's case, maybe they witness a horrific crime that shakes their faith in humanity and the justice system.

Show Gradual Changes

Regression, like growth, usually happens gradually. Start with small changes in behavior, thought patterns, or reactions to situations. These should be subtle at first, things that the character (and maybe even the reader) might not immediately notice.

Alex might start being a little less friendly to strangers, or hesitate before helping someone in need – small shifts that hint at bigger changes to come.

Internal Conflict

As the character begins to regress, show their internal struggle. They likely won't be happy about these changes and might fight against them. This internal conflict can be a great source of tension and character depth.

Alex might berate themselves for their newfound hesitation, trying to force themselves to be the person they used to be.

External Consequences

The character's regression should have real consequences in their world. How does it affect their relationships? Their job? Their role in the main plot of your story?

Maybe Alex's friends start to notice their withdrawal and become concerned. Or perhaps their hesitation in a crucial moment leads to negative consequences in the main plot.

Escalation

As the story progresses, the regression should become more pronounced. The character might start to rationalize their behavior, or fully embrace their new, regressed self.

Alex might start actively avoiding social situations, or develop a cynical worldview that contrasts sharply with their former optimism.

Rock Bottom

In many stories with character regression, there's a "rock bottom" moment – a point where the regression reaches its peak. This is often a powerful, emotional scene that fully illustrates how far the character has fallen.

For Alex, this might be a moment where they refuse to help someone in danger, fully betraying their former values.

Potential for Redemption

Even if your story ends with the character in a regressed state, it can be powerful to show a glimmer of their former self. This hints at the potential for future growth and can leave the reader with a sense of hope (or tragedy, if that potential is never realized).

Maybe in Alex's darkest moment, they have a flicker of doubt about their new worldview, or a memory of who they used to be.

Tips for Writing Effective Character Regression

Now that we've covered the general process, here are some additional tips to help you write compelling character regression:

Keep it Believable: The reasons for the regression should make sense for the character and the story. Don't have a character completely change overnight without good reason.

Show, Don't Tell: Instead of simply stating that a character has regressed, show it through their actions, thoughts, and dialogue.

Use Supporting Characters: Other characters can serve as mirrors, reflecting the changes in your regressing character and providing commentary on those changes.

Maintain Sympathy: Even as your character regresses, try to maintain reader sympathy. Help the reader understand why the character is making these choices, even if they don't agree with them.

Consider the Pacing: Regression can happen at different speeds. It might be a slow burn throughout the story, or a rapid descent following a major event. Choose the pacing that works best for your narrative.

Don't Forget the Positives: Regression doesn't mean a character loses all their positive traits. They might still show flashes of their old self, adding complexity to their portrayal.

Use Metaphors and Symbolism: Visual cues, recurring motifs, or symbolic elements can help underscore the character's regression in subtle ways.

Explore Different Types of Regression: Regression can be moral, emotional, professional, or related to specific skills or relationships. Mix and match for a nuanced portrayal.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

As with any writing technique, there are some common pitfalls to watch out for when writing character regression:

Making it Too Sudden: Unless there's a massively traumatic event, regression usually doesn't happen overnight. Be careful not to have your character change too quickly without proper buildup.

Losing Reader Sympathy: If your character's regression makes them completely unlikeable, you risk losing reader investment. Always strive to keep them understandable, even if not always sympathetic.

Inconsistent Motivation: Make sure the reasons for your character's regression remain consistent and logical within the context of your story.

Ignoring the Impact on Plot: Remember that character regression should impact your main story. Don't let it become a subplot that doesn't connect to the main narrative.

Overdoing It: Regression doesn't mean your character has to become a completely different person. Maintain some core aspects of their personality to keep them recognizable.

Examples from Literature and Media

Sometimes, it helps to see how other writers have handled character regression. Here are a few examples you might find inspiring:

Walter White from "Breaking Bad": His transformation from mild-mannered teacher to drug kingpin is a masterclass in character regression.

Daenerys Targaryen from "Game of Thrones": Her descent into ruthlessness in the final season is a controversial but noteworthy example of character regression.

Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray: His moral decay over the course of the novel is a classic example of character regression in literature.

Michael Corleone in "The Godfather": His transformation from war hero to ruthless mafia boss is a powerful portrayal of moral regression.

Studying these and other examples can give you ideas on how to handle regression in your own writing.

Final Thoughts

Writing character regression can be challenging, but it's also an incredibly rewarding aspect of storytelling. It allows us to explore the complexities of human nature, the fragility of personal growth, and the myriad ways that life can shape and reshape us. When done well, it can create some of the most memorable and impactful characters in literature.

Remember, there's no one "right" way to write character regression. The key is to make it authentic to your character and your story. Let it grow organically from the events of your plot and the unique personality of your character. And most importantly, don't be afraid to dig deep into the messy, complicated aspects of human nature.

As writers, we have the privilege and responsibility of reflecting the full spectrum of human experience in our work. Character regression is a part of that spectrum, and embracing it can lead to richer, more nuanced storytelling.

Balancing Regression and Reader Expectations

One thing to keep in mind as you write character regression is the balance between realistic portrayal and reader expectations. Readers often come to stories expecting character growth, so a character who regresses can be jarring or even frustrating if not handled carefully.

Here are a few strategies to help manage this:

Foreshadowing: Hint at the potential for regression early in the story. This can help prepare readers for what's to come.

Clear Motivation: Make sure the reasons for the regression are clear and understandable, even if not agreeable.

Moments of Hope: Intersperse moments where the character shows glimmers of their former self or potential for growth. This can help maintain reader investment.

Character Self-Awareness: Having the character acknowledge their regression can help readers process it.

Narrative Purpose: Ensure the regression serves a clear purpose in your overall story. If readers can see why it's necessary, they're more likely to accept it.

Character Regression in Different Genres

The way you approach character regression might vary depending on the genre you're writing in. Here's how it might look in different contexts:

In Literary Fiction: Character regression often serves as a deep exploration of human nature and societal influences. It might be subtle and psychological, focusing on internal changes rather than external actions.

In Fantasy or Science Fiction: Regression might be tied to magical or technological elements. Perhaps a character loses special abilities, or technology they relied on fails them, forcing them to regress to a more primitive state.

In Romance: Regression could manifest as a character retreating from emotional vulnerability, perhaps due to heartbreak or fear. The challenge becomes learning to open up again.

In Thrillers or Crime Fiction: A character might regress morally, crossing lines they never thought they would. This can create intense internal conflict and external tension.

In Horror: Regression might take on a more visceral or psychological form, with characters losing their grip on reality or reverting to primal states in the face of terror.

Character Regression and Story Structure

Consider how character regression fits into your overall story structure. It can be a powerful tool at different points in your narrative:

As an Inciting Incident: A character's sudden regression could be the event that kicks off your main plot.

During the Rising Action: Regression can add complications and raise the stakes as your story progresses.

At the Midpoint: A significant regression at the midpoint can dramatically shift the direction of your story.

During the Dark Night of the Soul: This low point in many story structures is a perfect place for a character to experience severe regression.

In the Resolution: Sometimes, a story might end with a character's regression, leaving readers with a sense of tragedy or unresolved tension.

The Role of Regression in Character Ensembles

If you're writing a story with multiple main characters, character regression can play an interesting role in group dynamics. Here are a few ways to use it:

Contrast: Have one character regress while others grow, highlighting the different paths people can take when faced with similar challenges.

Domino Effect: One character's regression might trigger changes in others, either pushing them to grow in response or causing them to regress as well.

Support Systems: Show how a group responds to one member's regression. Do they try to help? Enable the behavior? Distance themselves?

Power Dynamics: Regression can shift the balance of power within a group, creating new conflicts and alliances.

Regression and Theme

Character regression can be a powerful way to explore and reinforce your story's themes. For example:

If your theme is about the corrupting influence of power, showing a character regress morally as they gain more influence can underscore this idea.

For a theme about the importance of human connection, you might show a character regressing into isolation and the negative effects this has.

If you're exploring ideas about identity, having a character regress to an earlier version of themselves can raise interesting questions about who we really are.

A Word of Encouragement

As I wrap up this deep dive into character regression, I want to offer a word of encouragement. Writing regression can be emotionally taxing. It often requires us to delve into dark places, to imagine our characters at their worst, to confront difficult truths about human nature. This can be challenging, even distressing at times.

Remember to take care of yourself as you write. It's okay to step back if things get too intense. Talk to fellow writers about what you're working on. Engage in self-care practices that help you process and separate from the darker elements of your work.

And most importantly, don't lose sight of why you're including regression in your story. Whether it's to create a more realistic character journey, to explore complex themes, or to set up a powerful redemption arc, keep that purpose in mind. Let it guide you through the difficult moments of writing.

Remember, every character's journey is unique. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to writing regression. Trust your instincts, stay true to your character and your story, and don't be afraid to push boundaries and explore uncomfortable truths. That's where the most powerful writing often emerges.

I hope this deep dive into character regression has been helpful! Keep writing, keep exploring, and never stop pushing yourself to grow as a storyteller. Your voices and your stories matter.

Happy writing, - Rin T

Sources:

K.M. Weiland's blog post: "How to Write Character Arcs: The Flat Arc"

K.M. Weiland's "Helping Writers Become Authors" blog: "5 Ways to Write a Negative Character Arc"

TV Tropes: "Fallen Hero" 

[goodlucktai]

15. "This is going to hurt, okay?" with leo for your zombie apocalypse au (maybe leo losing his arm??)

dialogue prompts

15. “This is going to hurt, okay?”

x

When the initial outbreak hit New York City like a bomb, Splinter was adamant that they bunker down in the Hidden City until the world was safe again. One almost-apocalypse was enough for him, thank you. This second one could be someone else’s problem.

Frankly, Donatello could see the merit in that. For those initial frightening forty-eight hours he was all but glued to the TV. A handful of staff and one anchor had remained barricaded in the Channel 6 news room, broadcasting what information they could until the station ultimately went dark like all the others. And what they had to share was grim. 

Whistleblowers had been quick to throw CEO Theo Audrey’s pharmaceutical subsidiary under the bus as the catalyst, claiming the corporation was in the business of bioweapons. Whether or not that was true, it gave the world a name for the violently aggressive infected: Auds. 

Raphael argued that they had the ability to help people, which meant they had the responsibility to. He was more careful with the word ‘hero’ than he used to be, careful in general with what he said around impressionable little brothers who wanted to live up to whatever idea he had in his head that they should be. But it was obvious to all of them what he thought was the right thing to do. 

They had all looked at Leo then, their fearless leader. He was still growing into the role, but he had always been the voice of common sense that kept their heads above water.

Leo didn’t say anything right away, his mind racing ahead as he chased the thread of each argument to its end. He could account for inevitabilities and pitfalls and curveballs as easily as if it was all one big game of chess. 

And finally he came to the decision he could live with, and said, “Raph’s right. We have to help who we can. But we’ll be safe, papa.”

That was three months ago. The world is still ending, and no cure is in sight, and Donatello doesn’t want to think about how those without portal magic are surviving when they have no choice but to venture out for food or water or medicine.

Sometimes he thinks Splinter was right. Other times he thinks about all the people who are still alive only because of his brothers’ inherent goodness and he can’t imagine having done anything else. 

Today, the portal that brings the patrol team home is orange, not blue. Donnie’s heart is in his throat even before he processes the screaming. 

“POPS!” Raph’s voice tears through the lair. He hasn’t sounded that frightened since those seconds before the Technodrome exploded in the sky. “Donnie, April—somebody!” 

Donnie bursts out of the tunnel into the terminal that makes up their living room and all the air leaves his lungs at once. 

Raph’s hands are bloody, and Mikey is crying, and Leo is writhing in their big brother’s hold. The once-bright yellow hoodie Mikey had been wearing that morning is stained an ugly rust color and pressed hard against Leo’s right arm.

“Shh, hey, it’s okay, we’re home,” Raph murmurs, none of the panic on his face making it into his trembling voice. “Raph’s gotta show Don. This is gonna hurt, okay?” He peels away the hoodie, fighting Leo’s grip on his own arm to do it. Leo chirps in distress, and it’s horrible, and Raph all but trips over himself to soothe, “I know, baby, hold on. Hold on.” 

He finally reveals a gruesome, gaping tear in the flesh above Leo’s elbow. The edges are shaped like teeth.

“No,” Donnie says. 

“We found a few families trapped in an apartment building. One of them had a little girl and she—” Mikey manages to choke out. “She started crying. It was so loud. The Odds swarmed the level we were on in seconds.”

No, is all he can think. No no no.

What apocalypse? The world is ending right here. The world is in Raph’s arms, bleeding and gasping and dying. 

“Move,” Draxum says, as good as appearing out of thin air. Donnie’s situational awareness is apparently nonexistent right now but he still hears it when Splinter dashes into the room a second later, if only because of the wounded sound his father makes. 

Draxum places his hands on Leo’s wounded arm just above the bite and they begin to glow. Donnie loses the strength in his legs before he completes the last couple steps between himself and his brothers, so he just crawls the rest of the way. He takes his twin’s hand and pretends there is nothing that could force him to ever let go. 

“From what we have seen, the infection turns a new host in a manner of minutes,” Draxum says, expression fierce with focus. “How long did it take you to get him home?”

“Um,” Mikey says, scrambling to grab hold of something other than grief and fear the way he would rifle chaotically through the mess of sticker paper and sketchbooks on his desk for the right color copic or drawing pen. Blinking hard and rubbing away fresh tears on his sleeve, their youngest finds the courage to do anything besides just wail and scream the way they all would like to and says, “It wasn’t right away. My portals aren’t instant like L—like Lee’s are. I have to, um, draw the sigils in my mind the way you taught me.”

“Four minutes,” Raph offers. “And twenty-one seconds,” he adds a beat later. “Raph was counting.”

He leans down and presses his cheek to Leo’s forehead. He isn’t saying goodbye, but he’s holding close just in case. He’s giving Leo something sweet to go out on if he has to go. He’s crying, too, a steady, silent drip.

Splinter strokes Leo’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. Donnie isn’t brave enough to look at him. He can’t look at anyone. 

There is no other way for this to end. There isn’t a cure. Any bite or scratch is an instant death sentence. Then Donnie’s twin would become something else, a violent, hungry shell of someone once good and loved, and they would have to deal with that. They would have to see it, the ugly wretchedness of it, and never make peace with it for as long as they lived. 

And yet— 

“He should have turned by now,” April says from just behind Donnie. Her voice is shaking, and she looks like she wants to collapse where she’s standing, but she still manages to claw something shaped like hope out of the worst moment of their lives. “That’s what you’re saying.”

“That’s what I’m saying. This virus is human in nature—mortal. There is a reason the Hidden City is unaffected. Yokai are creatures of magic. In much the same way I could not catch the flu from you, O’Neil, we cannot be infected by Odds. You Hamato call yourselves mutants, but you are yokai. At least in part.”

“And you wouldn’t have thought to mention something like this sooner?” Splinter hisses, something close to hate in his voice. 

“How would you have liked me to test it, Lou?” Draxum bites back. 

“Shut up,” April says. “What does that mean, Barry?”

“It means the virus has been isolated at the site of the infection,” Draxum says. “It will not remain that way for long. It will spread, very slowly, and eventually take him. This pain that he is in will not wane until he is gone. We must act before it is too late.”

Donatello’s mind is as quick as Leonardo’s, even though they are constantly racing down different avenues. He understands what Draxum has not yet said. What exactly he’s proposing. 

They have to remove the site of the infection.

“I can’t do that,” he blurts, too loud.

“Someone must,” Draxum replies, not pulling any punches. “If you want it to be me, then it will be me.”

“What are you talking about?” Mikey says. “Dee?”

Donnie can’t speak. He presses his forehead to the corner of Leo’s that isn’t crammed fitfully against Raph’s shoulder. 

It’s a terrible risk. Amateur amputations are the stuff of nightmares. And it might not even work. There’s no precedent. There’s just a one in a million chance and a family desperate enough to take it.

“Leo,” he whispers. “Hey. Nardo. Please. I can’t just. I need you to—I need you to tell me it’s okay. Lee. I need you to tell me what to do.” 

He feels it almost instantly, the click and connect of a mind meld. Leo’s mind flows into Donnie’s as effortlessly as it has every time they’ve done this before, the mischievous wind of his ninpo breezing through Donnie’s lightning storm like the skies they belong to are one and the same. 

There isn’t a conversation. Leo’s thoughts are muddled, fever-bright and confused, not at all like the shape they take when the wickedly clever slider is feeling like himself. But Donnie hears him anyway. 

He understands just from this instant of togetherness that Leo doesn’t want to leave them. He wants to stay where they are. He would do anything to stay. 

Donnie parts from him with a gasp. His siblings watch him avidly, tears streaming down their faces unchecked. Leo looks tiny in Raph’s arms. There’s already so little of him, and now they are going to whittle him down even more. 

But the helpless screaming fear is no longer the loudest thing in Donnie’s head. It’s drowned out by the deafening rumble of a storm, that faraway sky that flashes with purple lightning and playful gales of blue. Nothing could be louder than the two of them when they have something to prove. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” he says, one hand on his twin’s plastron over the spot where that fearless, unyielding heart beats for them. “Hear me? I’m taking this arm, but I’ll give you back a better one.” 

The air goes out of the room as all of his siblings and his father suck in a breath and hold it. Raph’s grip on Leo tightens, as if he needs just one more second in a world where this doesn’t have to happen, where there’s another way. 

Then he lifts his mismatched eyes and there’s only trust there when he looks at Donnie. Mikey’s hand grips the wrist of the one Donnie has on Leo. April puts her arm around Mikey.

They’re all here. They’re all going to stay right here.