#maybe time to bring back my vulcan ocs

[callum-hunt-is-bisexual]

incredibly underrated michael hair style imo

[femalechibiblogger]

Cult of the Lamb Fanfictions

Star Sermon by Pavi

After defeating all Bishops, Lamb set it upon themselves to bring back the sheep race.

And no, not by recruiting.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41545140?view_adult=true

Artist: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48684983/

Weight of Devotion by BrokeTheGames

The Lamb was the chosen, to stand above the false prophets in the name of 'The One Who Waits' as an infallible Leader

You knew better

And you remember

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40973922

https://www.deviantart.com/likoy/art/Cult-of-the-Lamb-YCH-45-928343900

Chilling Obssesion by LVlunar

Lamb constantly felt like an outcast. A rejection of society and the lowest of the low, and that day he was going to get executed.

Pain, anger, this overwhelming sensation where all mushed inside the Lamb overwhelming him, then his god had saved him, he had been so thankful, he had wanted to stay loyal, he had never meant to fall for the god.

He had to have his god in the same way he needed to have air.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41911830/chapters/105188259

https://twitter.com/Royaliiird/status/1559343911042179072?t=l2PmHJesNlCD3_9PaFObFg&s=09

Your Death, My Fears - An OC Bishop Fanfic by DarklyDivine

Come and Join the Lamb as Vulcan, the Goddess of Apprehension, tells you the stories of her life and her fallout with The One Who Waits. Maybe you'll watch alongside the Lamb to see Vulcan's aftermath.

"I had lost my heart long ago... Maybe you'll be the one to find it."

This is a story about Vulcan, my OC Bishop/Goddess, who will be telling the Lamb with the Red Crown stories of her life along with seeing their own story progress over time.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41138400/chapters/103120380

https://www.deviantart.com/sonderrrrrr/art/The-One-Who-Waits-928092188

How Narinder Takes His Tea by onethirdofimpossible

After at least a thousand years of imprisonment, the chains rubbing against his skin left Narinder's body frail.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42028620

https://www.deviantart.com/bloodredhyena

New Stars in the Celestial Sky by ShinyHusky

Lamb awoke in the morning to the feeling of butterflies and overwhelming warmth in the pit of their stomach, but what could it possibly mean? Well, they would just have to get out of bed first to find out.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41936922

https://www.tumblr.com/nyanaknifegal

Your misery is my passion by sm1les4y0u

A little lamb has simply refused to lay their life down at the hands of their god, perhaps a little lesson of who is in charge is needed.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41915778?view_adult=true

https://www.deviantart.com/hamst3rific/art/Cult-of-the-Lamb-fanart-931859157

Good Kitty by MonstrousVoice

Your Master works very hard, and is need of a stress reliever~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42180162

https://www.reddit.com/r/CultOfTheLamb/comments/wcx9pd/leshy/

Heket's Repentance by TheStoryEnthusiast

AU where Lambert needs to kill the Crowns, not the Bishops, so we get to see the whole gang get recruited. After a (relatively) brief time-skip, Leshy has finally accepted his place in the cult, just in time for Heket to join the party.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42506013/chapters/106759692

https://www.reddit.com/r/CultOfTheLamb/comments/xgik6a/cult_of_the_lamb_heket/

A Loyal Follower's Humble Request by UYP

While you were finishing up your errands late at night, you were suddenly kidnapped by a bunch of hooded cult members to be sacrifeied to order to please their gods; being The Four Bishops. Though, luckily, a young caprine wearing a red fleece and a demonic one-eyed crown by the name of Lambert, saved you from your death and has converted you into a member of their cult.

The two of you quickly became friends after you got to know your savior and his purpose for wanting to form a cult.

As time passes, you've became Lambert's most loyal and devoted follower. While the cult leader was out doing errands/crusade runs, you're tasked to hold the fort down while also do the required tasks he left of you and his followers to do.

Also, many of the followers have gain a crush towards the cult leader, yourself included. But that crush quickly transformed to lust and hungers as lewd images of your friend/cult leader continuously popped up insides your dreams.

You figured on asking your cult leader a request to help stae your desires. Though, you don't how he's gonna react if you tell him and whether or not he accepts it or not. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42684357

https://www.deviantart.com/motorcyclemurphy

In Da Tub by ChingKittyCat

He remembers fondly the days where he had his own personal servants to make his coat as slick and span as a marble floor. It was a sharp contrast to the black ichor coating his skeletal arms and the blood that dripped from his eyes on occasion. Oh, how he missed it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41210652

https://www.tumpik.com/littlelosthings

She who Understood by PonyBird21

Her name is Lady Purcox, of the house Quatoh. The only daughter to three brothers of her father, the Lord Abadosh. All her life she was trained to be the perfect gift of marriage. The perfect wife who would bring honor to the family when she would be married off to an esteemed Lord or Lady. She was nothing more than a peace offering.

But she never envisioned being the sacrificial Bride of the Bishop Kallamar. Nor did she ever think there was Peace not in Death, but in Hope.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42879837/chapters/107725068

https://www.deviantart.com/indoorscat

I'm Jelly Baby by onethirdofimpossible

The Lamb smooches their spouse Putyar. Narinder is not pleased.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42218568

https://www.deviantart.com/sereaza

The Five Stages of Grief by thechickenknight

An old god watches the fate they've ran from for so long finally catch up.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42271473/chapters/106140861

https://www.deviantart.com/nebubliferum

She is His by Anonymous

A spider by the name of Focalor manages to capture the heart of the feared and wanted dead cult leader, The Lamb.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41391210

https://www.deviantart.com/chitopunky

My Loyal Follower by CourtyardJester

Short one-shots between each bishop and a follower they would call their most loyal.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42824682/chapters/107581653

https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/cowfz/lamb-and-bishops

All this knowledge... and for what? by Stitched_Lies

Shamura was the smartest of all the bishops, always taking care of the wisdom and war situations can be in order, of their small siblings and their cult...

But years, maybe eons, make them realize they committed many mistakes... the worst of them all was listening to a prophecy.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41859222/chapters/105037797

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/560909328602717691/

Alone No More by rabiesram

The process of a rat adopting a lamb.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41859945

https://www.tumblr.com/rabiesram

The End, foretold by a hand upon her cheek by when_all_else_failed_me

It was most difficult in the beginning, after Narinder was gone and the remaining four siblings were left to suffer their wounds and heartache.

But in Shamura’s crippling came a most unusual and unexpected development.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41402913

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/chajmatny/

A Lamb to Unslaughter by Saturn_Knight

What happens when you're the endling of your species?

What happens when you die?

Better yet, what happens when you're given a deal with God to begin a cult?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41505489?view_adult=true

https://www.deviantart.com/geatmos

Webs Of War by Critical_Lee

Shamura has seen a prophecy that their siblings would fear. The traitor would kill each and everyone one of them to gain power. However, it was not only one vision that blares in his head constantly...

It was four...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42570396/chapters/106928901

https://www.tumpik.com/shawmysblog

Only One Answer by HMP89

As Narinder copes with newly-surfaced feelings of grief and regret, he encounters another long buried emotion… love.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42749850

https://twitter.com/reynarabi

Always Time Left by RabbitAuthor

Filling the void in your heart with company is hard. Knowing the only friend you have is only mortal is harder.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41426538

https://www.deviantart.com/mrdrawg0n

Heavy is the Brow that Bears the Crown by SalilaOceania

As the pressures of the Crown begin to weigh on the Lamb, they find themselves seeking answers from those around them.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42716559

https://brightgoat.tumblr.com/

Rise of the Black Crown by HypnoDigitalis

Narinder has been defeated at the hands of his trusted vessel and is once again forced into subjugation. The Lamb rules over her flock with benevolence, and she is intent on changing Narinder for the better whether he is willing, or not. Though all is not as it seems, there is another God lurking in the Land of Old Faith. Will they aid Narinder in his quest to regain power?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42945279/chapters/107895057

https://www.deviantart.com/bee-tle

[karimac]

…in the details, Part 3

A/N: Warning for this series: 18+ audience (minors DNI), some cinematic level violence, some fluff and angst. Doubt that smut will be involved, but it may be implied. I’ll make sure that is noted clearly if it pops up.

All relationships, at this point anyway, are platonic.

Please do not repost or translate my work. Likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

A bit about the OC Kari

Part 1

Part 2

All mistakes are my own.

Word count: 3,556

Well, that was not exactly the best idea, was it?

Dr. Darcy Lewis, unlike her colleague, Dr. Erik Selvig, was not a big fan nor an authority on any form of mythology. And the Irish history ask was a longshot at best.

So, here you were, in the coffee shop smack dab in the middle of Westview, talking to Dr. Lewis and getting nowhere fast.

“And, that’s not happening,” the astrophysicist grumbled as she set down her phone and took another sip of her beverage. It was some weirdly sweet concoction that looked like what humans thought rainbow-colored unicorn poop looked like. This world was not ready for what real magical beasts looked like. Most authors had not gotten all of that right in their books. No surprise there. No human really needed to see such things on a daily basis, and whoever had been the muses for those authors had covered up a lot.

“I take it Dr. Selvig has no clue on the Celtic Pantheon?” you asked as you sipped your very boring, light, non-sweet hot coffee. The barista probably wanted to laugh when you ordered it, but he did his best to stifle his snicker. “It was a very long reach on my part, Dr. Lewis. I’m sorry I roped you into this.”

“You can call me Darcy because you actually acknowledge my academic status,” the brunette said as she flipped her phone over again. “So, Thor is off in space. You don’t want me calling Falcon or his pal with the metal arm. Captain Marvel isn’t on your contact list. Ant Man and The Wasp? They can be sort of science geeks, right? Wait. Banner? Is he OK to call?”

Before you could open your mouth, Darcy was texting Banner off her own phone. “You know Bruce?”

“I met him at some meet and greet at MIT before the world went poof,” Darcy replied as she set her phone back down and seemed to be praying Banner would actually return her text. “Stark was there, too, but Banner was the one I got coffee with. Sweet guy, you know, even if he gets all green sometimes.”

As you sipped your coffee, you noticed a few people giving you odd looks. It made you very nervous. “Maybe we should finish up and get back on the road?” you asked Darcy as you quietly motioned toward the other patrons getting their daily fix of caffeine.

“Yeah, bubbe isn’t answering me anyway,” Darcy said as she picked up her phone and got up from her chair. By now there were several residents blocking the exit. “What is your problem? We paid. We’re busing our table. Then we’re leaving.”

“Are The Avengers going to hunt her down?” one woman in the back of the group asked as Darcy looked back toward you and mouthed the word “Help” before turning back to the crowd. The questioner was loud, but you couldn’t see her because of the big delivery man standing in front of her with a huge pile of Amazon packages. “Why did you come back?”

It was time to vamp. With an apparently faulty memory, this was going to be interesting.

“Before you all ask about what is going to happen regarding Wanda Maximoff, I want you all to know I have no authority to speak for The Avengers. I have never been a true member of the team. I helped them at a time when things were beyond bleak for this world. It was an honor and a privilege. But I am not a spokesperson. I am not a team leader.”

“Then why did you come here?” a man with glasses, holding a briefcase, asked from the line where he was waiting for his order. “Then and now?”

“I came the first time because I was looking for my friend. I was pulled into that nightmare just like you were. I wish I had been able to help her before any of this happened.”

“But you have powers, right? Couldn’t you have shut her down, hot stuff?” the first woman added as she moved to the front. Then you recognized her. Agatha Harkness. If Wanda kept her alive, there was a reason for it, and all the pain you had rising in your core had to be tamped down fast. Harkness had hurt Wanda, and that would have to be addressed one day. You were good at playing the long game.

“Taking her out in any sort of power stunt could have jeopardized your lives. I was not sure what she did to make it all happen, and I was not going to risk your lives. I’m sorry it wasn’t put to an end sooner. Now, if you will excuse us, we need to get to a meeting regarding the incident here,” you said as you and Darcy pushed through the crowd and back out to the street.

“OK, what was all that? Spin? Or are you remembering something?” Darcy asked as you got back into her car. You had left your rental on the outskirts of town. Better to travel as a unit until your business here was concluded.

“I remember a couple of things from that mess,” you said as you tried to keep your hands from shaking. “I remember Wanda and Vision’s sons. Billy and Tommy. I remember the house where I lived. Can we drive out to where Wanda had her house? Maybe that will help?”

Darcy pulled out of the parking space and made the lefts and rights to the lot where Wanda’s house had been. The one you were living in was in a lot right next to it. It was empty now, too, but you got out of the car anyway and stood in the center of the patch of dirt. You closed your eyes and held your breath as you tried to piece together what had happened. And then you started to cry as you fell to your knees.

“Whoa, slow down,” Darcy said as she ran and knelt beside you. “What did you see?”

“It’s weird. Wanda came over one day and more or less apologized to me because she couldn’t give me my real happy ending. I can show you, if you’ll let me…”

“Go into my mind?” Darcy protested before you could wave her off the idea. “No Vulcan mind melds for me today, thanks.”

“No, I carry this mirror, and you can see memories in it. Trust me, I do not use telepathy as a first line of anything. I tried it once, to help a friend, but it just caused more problems,” you groaned as you pulled the mirror out of your backpack. You waved your hand over it, and Darcy could now see what had happened with Wanda.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t find them and bring them here,” the Sokovian said quietly as she walked around the 1980s version of what was your living room. It was way too pastel for your liking, but the hints of fuchsia, orchid and teal in the overall cream and light gray design weren’t so bad. You had a couple of cats there with you. One was an orange tabby with a penchant for eating tuna at any given moment. He was warm and affectionate and just a ray of sunshine dressed in fur. The other was as white as the driven snow, but his own cuddly disposition came through. He was the one who would leave you weird gifts every morning. Rocks, feathers, and yes, the occasional dead mouse would be at the foot of your bed each sunrise. You’d find out at the end of that nightmare that the cats were only constructs of Wanda’s chaos magic.

“I know you miss the three of them,” she continued as she pointed to a framed picture of Steve, Bucky and Sam, all decked out in appropriate 1980s clothes that made them look like they ran away from some cop drama. “It’s probably better that there aren’t too many Avengers here anyway. Vis is getting concerned. And this way, well, no one needs to know which one you would have chosen. I know. You know. So you can always talk to me. Like we did before. But I gave you the wedding ring to make sure no one came on to you. Just in case I can get him here soon.”

As you showed Darcy the memory, a tiny part of you was screaming that this whole scenario seemed wrong. You watched Wanda’s crimson glow float around you as she spoke. You vaguely remembered The Morrigan trying to kick some sense back into your addled brain, but Wanda’s world was much too enticing to let your other self come to the fore. You wanted the damned happily ever after with the husband and the house and everything that meant in the modern American ethos. You had rationalized things for years in such a way that you’d never let yourself get it. That was why no one was here to hug you at night like Wanda had Vision. Maybe that fact alone was enough to crack Wanda’s hold on you a bit more than she realized?

But you also had to admit that you wanted to be there for Wanda in case things went south. That much was clear from the moment you showed up in Westview the first time.

“How come you didn’t just zap her? Fight back?” Darcy asked as you fully shifted to the present day and paused the memory.

“Because she wasn’t wrong. I did miss Bucky, Steve and Sam. I missed Banner, too, because they were, in the end, the ones still here that cared if I lived or died. And Spider-Man. Which is random and weird, but he did. And frankly, what I said in the coffee shop was true. I had no idea what my powers would do to her spell. I could have leveled the town. That was not an option.”

“So, that Agatha woman…” Darcy started to say and then stopped. “Wait. That was her? In the coffee shop? That was why you were acting so weird?”

“Yeah. Wanda could have killed her or taken Agatha away with her to imprison her. She didn’t. After what Agatha tried to do to Wanda, to try and take her powers, Wanda had every right to finish her off. But Wanda doesn’t likely know all that yet. There are rules set up from ages ago. Things witches can and can’t do to each other under specific circumstances. So Wanda left her trapped here—for now anyway. But, whatever happened with them, it affected me, too. I got hit with stray magic blasts. I’m betting it messed up my powers in ways I didn’t realize. And maybe my memories as well.”

As Darcy knelt there, her phone finally chimed. It was some weird little R2-D2 chirpy beep, and she looked elated as she showed you the message. “Seems Bruce still cares if you are OK or not. I don’t think bringing him here is such a great idea…”

“Did anyone send him data about what happened here?” you asked as you got to your feet, pocketing some of the dirt from the lot before you stood up. “Air and soil samples? Readings from the residents?”

“I can get them for him. Trust me, Jimmy Woo and Monica Rambeau would be more than happy to help. I’m glad that loon Hayward seems to have gone into hiding or was hauled away to The Raft,” Darcy noted as she checked her phone again. “Seems the doc is working out of a Stark lab here in Jersey. Road trip?”

You really didn’t want to go see Bruce. You had no idea how you’d explain any of what you did to him.

++++++++++

You rehearsed what you planned to tell Bruce a million times in your mind as Darcy drove along the Garden State Parkway to a place called Woodcliff Lake. Stark Industries did indeed have a lab there, and it made you want to scream as you walked into the facility. You did not need yet another reminder that you could not save Tony Stark’s life at the end of that final battle with Thanos. That was part of why you were in this mess in the first place. It was also why you had a screaming fight with Stephen Strange, but no one else knew about that yet.

“Dr. Banner? We’re here!” Darcy yelled as you walked toward what had to be the research wing. The lack of security in the place was a bit disturbing, but then again, there were probably booby traps built into every square inch of the place. You could just hear Tony now as you got closer to the lab area. It would likely have been close to the speech you got the first time he talked to you at the compound.

“Hey! Lucky Charms! Don’t touch any of the expensive stuff. I guess that means don’t touch anything. I still have no idea why you are hanging around the team except that Steve wants you here for some reason. Maybe you’re tied to…his friend…and I just don’t want to face that? Still have issues with all of that, even if the man is dead. Pepper and Morgan said I should be nice to you, but I’m not quite there yet after what happened in Berlin. They are better people than I’ll ever be.”

“Earth to Kari?” you finally heard Bruce say as he waved his massive green hand in front of your face. Then he realized why you were likely spacing out. "Dr. Lewis, can we have a minute?”

“You can call me Darcy, if I can call you Bruce?” Lewis said as Banner nodded to her. “Cool. I’ll go find the little scientist’s room and be right back,” she added as she left the lab.

“So,” Bruce started as he pointed you toward a set of chairs at one side of the lab, “Darcy filled me in via text. I have no idea what happened with Wanda, and I know none of us know where she is. I did call a friend who wants to help,” he noted as a swirling circle of yellow light formed near the window that looked out over the parking lot. “I figured you’d listen to him, and he knows more about this stuff than I do.”

“What did you do?” Wong shouted as he exited the portal. “You usually listen to reason. Why did you go after Wanda all alone?”

“I went to help Wanda. She was hurting. She watched Vision die twice. She lost Pietro. I can relate to all that very, very well. My twin Branan died in front of my eyes, too, and I’ve buried two husbands. Both died in battle. I just wanted her to know she wasn’t alone. But she…she hit all my vulnerable points. And she was under attack at the same time. From a woman named Agatha Harkness and from the director of SWORD. Some martinet named Hayward. He built another Vision. I think Hayward was using Wanda’s powers to bring him to life. Darcy is going to check in with some of the people who worked with her to get you more intel, Bruce.”

“Another version of Vision? Great,” Bruce muttered as he looked over at Wong. “As for this Harkness person…”

“The name rings very small bells, so I’ll need to do some research,” Wong noted as you bumped your left fist against your forehead. “What?”

“Harkness is a succubus. And she is old. Not as old as I am, but she is still a good 400 years old, give or take a day. She apparently survived the Salem Witch Trials. Wanda spelled her and left her in Westview. I think she is, at least in small ways, aware that her world is all wrong. I didn’t want to press it when I saw her in that coffee shop. We do not need an angry succubus flying around. Wong, they got into an aerial battle, and Wanda was using sigils, runes, whatever you want to call them, to focus her power. I think she picked that up from good old Aggie. I never showed her anything like that on purpose. I always suspected she had magic in her bones, but it wasn’t my place to start that fire. The bigger issue is that Wanda conjured up two children while she was there. She created cats for me, so anything is possible. I got knocked out by the end of the fight, so I have no idea what exactly happened in the end other than Wanda running off and Agatha being left behind for some reason.”

“And?” Wong asked as he started to look you up and down. “You did a spell? And it went bad? Your aura is all messed up.”

“I…I tried to do a spell so The Avengers would think of me less and less, and then eventually I’d just be a fleeting memory. I felt walking away in the dead of night, the thing I usually do when I am leaving town, would not be good enough. The spell got botched, and now I’m connected in some fashion to Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes. Looking back at it, I spent more time with them in the days leading up to my departure. Steve and Bruce were there the day I left, and so were Sam and Bucky. And…I’m carrying a lot of guilt about Bucky after his accident in 1943.”

“All this on top of the magical circus Wanda made? Are you insane?” Wong yelled as he started to pace.

“And the fight I had with Stephen on the day of the battle. Yeah, I guess I am insane,” you replied as Wong threw up his hands. Bruce had gotten extremely quiet, and that was not a good thing.

“Before we get to dissecting your spell, Kari, was this because of what Tony said? About you not being an Avenger because you were…?”

“Unstable? Yes. And the fact I could not bring anyone back from the grave, especially during that last battle. And the fact about who killed his parents. Buck did while under Hydra control. Steve found out and never told Tony. I ran into The Winter Soldier a few times over the decades, so there was the chance I could have prevented their deaths, too. Tony really had no reason to ask me to join the band.”

“Once we get your spell problem sorted, then we will address this, too,” Bruce said as he looked toward Wong and shook his head. “I loved Tony like a brother, but he was wrong…”

You winced a few times as you tried to listen to Bruce and Wong, now joined once again by Darcy, as they tried to figure out how to fix or reverse that spell, and they hashed out what might have happened to you during that first trip to Westview. You were really trying to focus on their questions, but you felt a tug that no one else could ever have possibly felt.

“Baltimore,” you mumbled as you pulled out your cellphone and debated texting the person you felt tugging at that damned invisible string. No. That would have ended badly, especially since your original spell had gone haywire.

“Bucky Barnes was arrested?” Darcy asked as she showed you her phone alert. “I bet he punched that new fake Cap in the nose. Sorry, but that guy looks like he has no clue. I saw him on Good Morning America. Total cheese fest.”

“Wait. What?” you asked as you took her phone. “Sam didn’t keep the shield? I just hope Bucky didn’t punch Sam and wind up in jail for that!” You gave Darcy back her phone and looked at yours again. It was buzzing. “Anyone here know who the hell is Christina Raynor?” you asked the trio in front of you. No one had any clue about that. You hit the speaker button as you answered the call.

“Hello? Ms. MacOrish. I’m James Barnes’ therapist, Christina Raynor. Sam Wilson said I should give you a call and ask you to join us in Baltimore. As quickly as possible, if you can. I don’t think Mr. Barnes wants to spend the night in a holding cell.”

“Oh no, you are not going to Baltimore,” Wong said as he crossed his arms and got a stern look on his face. “Not while your head is all over the place. You could portal to Baltimore in the 1800s for all you know. You could end up eating lunch with Lord Baltimore in the 1700s. You really shouldn’t do this.”

“Wong, what better place for me to go than to see a therapist?” you said with a smirk as you opened your own portal, this one a lovely shade of emerald green, that went to where Raynor was waiting for you—outside an interrogation room at the city jail.

“Mr. Wilson said you’d be fast. He did not tell me you were one of the powered class,” Raynor said as you went through the portal, looking back to wave briefly as you heard Darcy’s last comment.

“What about your rental car?”

[that-random-chaos-entity]

How does your OC display love? What are some habits your OC has picked up?

Forgive me as this is a LONG post, but I felt it would be better to show, rather than tell, this one:

Words could not describe how awkward Perturabo felt being back in the Emperor's palace. It would have been bad enough if it were just his deadbeat father, a half-rotten corpse sitting in an overglorified golden life-support casket, ignoring him as per usual. But it wasn't just his father; so many of his brothers had come for this... ...this Sanguinala... ...in many ways it almost felt like the Heresy had never happened.

Vulcan, Corvus, Fulgrim, ROGAL FUCKING DORN, Magnus.... ...hell, even SANGUINIUS had come back from the dead. Raised by the same mysterious chaos entity that had turned Perturabo's world and soul inside out. Made him live his own life over and over again, through the eyes of the people around him, until he got the point. The people he impacted. The people he used, abused, and destroyed without a second thought. The people he...

...Perturabo shook his head, the physical action somehow dislodging the poisonous psychic tumor from his soul. Even though that parasite was long gone and the Eye of Terror no longer loomed over him, it had been feeding on his twisted spirit for so long that its blasted and withered hide still bled for it. Casting his self-destructive thoughts into the warp. This was a good thing (or so the Lanky Llama said). Though sometimes, when he started to brood and sulk, things would get... ...gummed up. He could shake any errant clots loose himself, but nobody helped the darkness bleed out of him like Nehetari.

And holy shit did he wish she were here right now. When she and her robotic people were around... ...the Lord of Iron actually felt like... ...himself. Or the version of himself that he wanted to be, anyway.

But no, "No xenos allowed at a family gathering," the Emperor had said. Not that it even would have mattered if they were; it was one of those weird weeks where the lanky llama disappeared on him and holed up in her room by herself. Something about a "Necrontyr biological cycle," that would, "likely make her act inappropriately," or "embarrass herself and him," but she would say no more on the matter.

Of course it would happen over the day when he needed--erm could have used her presence the most.

"Aren't you going to open your gifts, brother?"

Perturabo snapped out of his brooding to see Magnus looming beside him. It took him a second to process what he said, but when he did he scowled.

"Gifts Magnus? Really? Do think anyone here would ever give me a gift?"

"Excuse me! What am I, grox manure!?" there was no real irritation in Magnus's voice. He gestured to table in front of Perturabo, where three gifts sat that he could have SWORN were not there before. "And if you must know, you're the only brother here I saw fit to even GET a gift for."

"Aside from Sanguinius."

"Well... ...yeah..." the Crimson King shuffled his wings awkwardly. Both primarchs stole a glance at the MOUNTAIN of gifts that their brother had received. "...b-but he doesn't count."

Perturabo sighed. He didn't feel like feeling jealous of Sanguinius right now. Instead he grabbed the first package; it was obviously Magnus's gift. Whatever was in it was so warp-touched that it levitated a solid three feet off the table and changed size randomly. It turned out to be a small inter-dimensional rift that contained a book of arcane engineering, one that Perturabo had surprisingly not seen before. He thanked his brother; something that drew a surprised look from Magnus and a complimentary hug that Turbo awkwardly returned. The second gift was from Sanguinius, as it turned out, and when he opened the box he saw his own face, reflected in a simple yet elegant mirror. After a moment of wondering if this gift was actually meant for Fulgrim (clone fulgrim), he saw the inscription on the box lid which read, "to my big brother: it brings me joy to see happiness in your eyes now. I hope with this you can see it too."

Perturabo swore under his breath and slammed the box shut, furiously hoping that Magnus hadn't heard him sniffle just a tiny little bit. It was a moving gift to be sure, but after everything that had happened... ...somehow it just made the Lord of Iron feel like garbage. Well... ...more so than usual.

Thankfully, quick-thinking Magnus directed his brother's attention to the third gift. In fact, if he didn't know better, Perturabo would have sworn Magnus seemed even MORE excited for him to open this gift than his own.

"What is... ...is this from...?"

"MHMMM!" Magnus's enthusiasm was all-consuming, his grin audible in his tone. "She asked me come and pick it up from outside her door earlier this morning."

Perturabo's melancholy dissipated into a wave of curiosity. What sat before him was a perfect cube of blackstone, though if he knew anything about Nehetari, he knew that wasn't all there was to it.

Sure enough, when he picked it up, glyphs flashed along its side.

"Is... ...that..."

"Necrontyr," Perturabo murmured in deep concentration. "...and not just any form of Necrontyr; this is Ksakhemet Script."

"What?"

"Think of it as our high gothic. Except it's as if we had a high, HIGH gothic. Only the three Necrontyr kings and their families even knew how to speak this script, let alone how to read and write it. It is ancient, according to Nehetari... ...it's from a time even before the Necrontyr first started their galactic expansion."

Those statements alone were like a different language to Magnus, but his lust for ancient knowledge ignited like a blazing inferno. He would absolutely have to grill both Perturabo AND his xenos companion for more information once she was.... ...*ahem* no longer indesposed.

Perturabo turned the cube over and over in his hands, reading the ornate lettering as best he could. He'd only just started learning how to read Ksakhemet; he couldn't speak it properly because he lacked the extensive Necrontyr vocal range, but the lettering started to make sense the more he plied his fantastic mind.

"It is... ...a puzzle cube. I believe."

"D'AAWWW... How sweet...!"

Perturabo punched his brother in the shoulder, but it phased through his immaterial form.

"Shut your mouth!" He could already feel the heat creeping up his neck and he HATED it. Although he had to admit he was a little touched, if amused, that Nehetari had put together such a... ...thought-out gift.

And well-thought-out it was indeed! It became clear to the Lord of Iron that this wasn't just some slide and lock, physics based puzzle toy for mortal children. It was a custom-made testing tool designed to challenge his understanding of spacial compression, sub-atomic energy transfer, and even Necrontyr cultural theory. Each segment was challenging, unique, and soon he found himself absorbed. Magnus tagged along for the ride of course, and his respect for Nehetari grew each time he heard his brother growl in frustration, or give a small "...Ha! So that's it..."

"She has... ...quite the impressive mind. Especially for a xenos."

Perturabo grunted his affirmation. "...you don't know the half of it. She makes the Hrud look like a bunch of children." With a click the puzzle changed shape in his hands again, "...I would even say she has a mind similar to ours."

"...you don't say..."

"Hmph, she's DEFINITELY smarter than Dorn. I know that for sure."

Magnus chuckled. Of course she was.

The Lord of Iron didn't realize it immediately, but the puzzle cube was meant to serve another function, not just being an intriguing mental exercise. The more he fidgeted with it, the more time passed. Not by some technomantic power or magical means; he was just so absorbed in Nehetari's gift that he didn't notice his brothers packing up their gifts and starting to drift around and away from the throne room. Magnus, realizing he wouldn't be much help with this exercise, had taken notice of the custodes' Captain General (the one they call "kitten") and had begun to chat with him. Sanguinius was now at the Emperor's side, trying to pacify an impatient and belligerent Angron who just wanted to go celebrate Khornnuka with Lotara and Kharn. Corvus had dissapeared to... ...somewhere, and Vulkan was... ....had he somehow jackknifed himself into the psychic fireplace that the Emperor created!? Russ was laughing at him and drinking himself stupid (not that he had many IQ points to lose in the first place), but thankfully nobody was paying any attention to Turbo. Huh, who'd have thought; Perturabo was actually HAPPY that he was being ignored right now.

With a satisfying ding the cube shifted again, and to his surprise, glyphs flashed indicating that this was, in fact, the final challenge.

"Let's have it then. I'm ready..." the Lord of Iron grinned. He flicked the raised pad below the text and the final task scrolled across blackstone. Surprisingly, this time it was in High Gothic.

"...who is... ...my... ...favorite... ...human?"

He stared at the screen, dumbfounded. "Really? After all that, the last puzzle, is 'who's my favorite human?' Really?"

But wait... ...was the answer actually as easy as it appeared? Perturabo wanted to put his own name, but what if he was wrong? What if he wasn't her favorite human? He was hardly even "human" in the first place. Maybe she meant a true, normal human? But if this was supposed to be a present for him, why would she blatantly make him answer that her favorite human WASN'T him. What if...

"Hey nerd, the answer's obviously you."

Perturabo jumped to see Leman Russ passing him.

"What the-! Whe-how did you... ...you can't read!" Perturabo stammered. There was no way Leman just waltzed over here...

The Wolf Lord grinned, "Hey, ye nerds aren't the only ones who know how teh learn things. If I taught meself teh read Fenrisian runes, I can teach meself teh read some wolfin' High Gothic!"

"..."

"...that and I may or may not have used some of meh own psychic powers to read yer mind. You know, teh fill in teh blanks."

Considerably less impressed, Perturabo grumbled as he keyed the letters of his name into the cube. With another ding and a flash of green light, previously invisible cracks along the cube's surface began to glow and the cube began to shift one last time. When it finished, a tiny black tray was left in its place, revealing... ...a letter? And a pict?

"What's all this now?" Leman reached towards the tray.

Perturabo snatched it away, "Fuck off Russ! This is MY gift!"

"Oooh, is this from yer GIRLFRIEND!?"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!"

"Hey fuck you Leman!" Oh boy, here comes Magnus, "Like you could ever understand the subtlety and genius that went into that puzzle box! Let him enjoy his gift in peace!"

"LeT HiM eNjOy HiS gIfT iN pEaCe!" Leman crooned. "Shut her trap and go back teh yer boyfriend, yeh big red canary."

Magnus puffed up in outrage and looked about ready to turn Leman inside out. When Perturabo noticed Sanguinius inbound, no doubt to dissolve the impending battle, he took his chance to dip out. And by "dip out" I mean grab the tray and its contents, and duck under the table. It would hide him for all of a second, but that would be as long as it would take him to read the letter.

Or it would have, if Leman hadn't, SOMEHOW, been able to reach the tray before him. He snatched up the letter, practically from between Perturabo's fingers, and with utter horror the Lord of Iron watched as his brother brandished the page, cleared his throat, and began to read:

"Perturabo..."

"FUCK YOU LEMAN THAT'S NOT YOURS!!" Magnus howled. Perturabo roared in fury. Both brothers made a mad lunge at the Wolf Lord but he dodged, shit-eating grin on his face as he continued reading.

"...Perturabo,

I'm sorry, but I...."

"....failed you?"

At the mention of the word "failed", Perturabo's onslaught faltered, as did Magnus's. Leman's grin died on his lips as he read the next line, his eyes widening for a moment before they squeezed shut. He then passed the letter back to Perturabo, mumbled a barely audible apology, turned, and without a word walked off.

"That's not what I... ...uh... ...expected?" Magnus muttered. "He looked like a kicked pup. What did that letter..."

Perturabo clutched the paper looking the most feral Magnus had ever seen him.

"...you know what, never mind. That letter's meant for you anyway." He added quickly. "I'll be in the library if you need me, brother."

And just like that, Perturabo was alone. Well, mostly; the Emperor was still there, but he was oddly quiet. Sanguinius was watching him too, but from a discreet distance.

The Lord of Iron backed up into the corner of the room, still riled up but looking a little less crazy. Once he was satisfied that NOBODY ELSE would attempt to confiscate his stuff, he finally began to read what Nehetari wrote for him.

"Perturabo,

I am sorry, but I failed you. You said you wanted your brothers' appreciation for a Sanguinala gift, but of all the ones I interviewed asking for an appreciative memory they have of you, the only ones who gave me a response were your brothers Magnus and Sanguinius. So instead I instigated a situation to make one (please reference the included image). If your brother's expressions are to be believed, then I believe they all enjoyed attacking your snow bunker. I certainly enjoyed helping you defend it.

May you have a somber and pleasant celebration,

The Mehlrose,

Nehetari of the Szarekhan Dynasty.

Heir to the Silent Throne."

...Perturabo couldn't believe it.

He's asked for that as a JOKE. He hadn't actually been serious. When she's approached him, asking what he wanted as a "Sanguinala gift," he'd been in the middle of a complicated programming script and had said that just to get the point across that he didn't want to be bothered.

Slowly, and with a shaking hand, he lifted the pict from the tray and turned it over.

And she was right. This shot must have been taken by one of her tunneling scarabs. Or maybe one of her guard as they were circling the perimeter, hurling snow and distracting Russ. But however it was taken, somehow it was able to get a perfect shot of every primarch, including himself and Nehetari, hurling fucking snow or getting completely dunked on, but every single one of them had varying degrees of stupid fucking grin on their faces. Even Corvus was smiling!

It struck him: had that been her plan all along?

Minutes passed, and finally the Emperor himself spoke up. "My son, you're shaking like a Dark Elder nightclub on a Tuesday."

Perturabo didn't hear him. It took everything he had just to hold the pict in his trembling hands.

Why? Why. Why would she bother. How did she... ...why, why, why WHY? HOW!? When did she even have the TIME to plan this out!? There was no way. And not for him. Why? Why for him? And ALL OF THEM. How could she have known they would ALL come?

"Brother, are you ok?"

Perturabo snapped out of the loop to see the Angel standing beside him with a hand on his shoulder. He hadn't realized just how loudly his two hearts had been thundering, how BADLY his whole body had been shaking, until he felt that steadying touch. Instinctively he tried to regain control over his mind and body, and stowed the pict away in his belt.

Sanguinius asked no questions; he simply nodded.

"I'm going to find her..." Perturabo's voice sounded like sandpaper. He could feel the tears rolling down his neck, but he ignored them. "...I don't care if she FUCKING KILLS me; I am going to find her. She has no right.... ...she had no right to... ...to..."

"...go ahead brother." Sanguinius's smile was warm with understanding.

Salvaging what little dignity he felt he had left, Perturabo straightened up, turned on his heel, and walked shakily out of the throne room. He disappeared into the darkness, leaving his father and his brothers to stare after him in wonder.

(Sorry this is such a long post, but I started writing it and just went to town. I wanted to SHOW, rather than just tell, the kinds of things Nehetari does for the individuals that are important to her)

@gracia-regina @ask-a-scheming-sorcerer @luwupercal

[goldenworldsabound]

I know I already sent one in but 💫 for Star Trek too!!!

I'mma do this one first :D For those who don't know, Star Trek: The Original Series is my jam

You may have seen me go off about my various SIs before but that's what I want to do again kjfashfkjs

ALTHOUGH FIRST I do wanna talk about Spock

because I love him. I also love Kirk. BUT SPOCK IS REALLY SPECIAL and he's a main for a whole rainbow of reasons.

Spock is such a complex character and I think that's why so many people are really drawn to him. He's ostracized by Vulcans because he's half human, and he's ostracized by humans because he's half Vulcan. He acts as Vulcan as he can. He has a terrible relationship with his father. And he doesn't really quite fit in anywhere. He does the best that he can, always, and always strives to do good (and to be logical, but that logic is employed by Vulcans to do good in general imo, until you get into your extremist Vulcans who I've forgotten the name of now but anyway fuck those dudes). Even when other people are downright rude to him, he still helps them and does the right thing.

I feel like a lot of us can relate to not feeling like we belong anywhere.

And then of course his career choice ALSO further ostracizes him from his father. It's just! Man it hurts a lot how much he suffers. And he does feel very deeply (most Vulcans do) as much as he wishes he doesn't.

Anyway though, I'm sure these are some of the reasons I latched onto him in high school when my family sat down every night after dinner to watch Star Trek TOS.

At that time, my self inserting was a huge secret, and I wrote about it in my diary and told no one about it. I wrote pages and pages. I still have it - I started typing it up one time and got like 15 pages in? And we were still like. I mean. There was a lot left. I still wanna finish typing it up. That SI was intended to be the Literal Me. There would be time travel shenanigans (Star Trek has a lot of these) which landed me into the future, on the Enterprise, which it turned out was real despite being the subject of a tv show (don't worry about the details).

And of course, I already had a crush on Spock. So you can imagine the fic was largely him being aware of it and kind of ? about it while also teaching me about modern tech and science so I could adjust. Bones stepped in as a familial role as did Kirk at that time. I'm still very fond of this self insert and her story, even though it's no longer what I need. I really needed it back then. And it served it's purpose admirably. And I'm very glad I had it. And, frankly, some of the ideas from it? Stealing those for my new SI to use too.

For example, before I move onto the more current SIs, one thing I really loved about my first SI is she gets left on Vulcan for two ish years? She's got a baseline of knowledge now but no proper training in either science equipment (Spock did his best but you know) or like, Starfleet procedure or anything so she's really quite a liability. She gets to take classes at the Vulcan Academy, bond with Spock's parents, learn more about Vulcan culture, and make friends (with my OCs). I have a sort of comparable situation for the new main SI because like...I just really loved this.

So I actually have two more SIs! The main SI that I use now grew up traveling around the universe with her parents, and spent some of her formative years on Vulcan with Spock, where they accidentally formed a weak bond while playing. There was an accident, she was in cryostasis for a while, her parents died, by the time she meets him again he's the lead science officer on the Enterprise and she's just graduated Starfleet Academy and is joining up as his subordinate. Spock is betrothed (which I really didn't address in my super indulgent fic because that wasn't what I needed then) and also a superior officer, and he's faced with the weird realization of this sort of weak bond we have that is totally inappropriate. Long story short, it's more emotionally complex and tackles more difficult issues. Because it turns out we both fall in love. And that's difficult.

In this setting Bones and are I besties (kinda like him and Kirk!) and I date Kirk on and off. That stops once Spock and I get together of course, but eventually we become the happy space polycule 🥰

And as far as the specific situation, I was thinking she gets seriously injured and they drop her off at Vulcan where she does a semester or two teaching at the Vulcan Academy, again while bonding with Spock's parents and refreshing herself on Vulcan culture. And also trying not to kill T'Pring (the woman Spock was betrothed to who was an absolute bitch to him since it was an arranged marriage and she hated him) I guess but um ignore that. I just think it's a really great formative experience and I also want to include my lesbian Vulcan OCs again. Vulcan culture is really interesting to me! And some of it incorporates things from Judaism, which is a lesser known fact, but also true. :) Also Spock's mom is canonically Jewish so Spock is also Jewish so SPOCK AND I GET TO BE JEWISH TOGETHER. It's REALLY EXCITING TO ME OKAY???

The other SI I haven't talked about much she's the angry!SI variant. She's a security officer and also has a special ability, aka my SI shield power. But I was going to make it more Star Trek, so it comes from being exposed to something funky as a child (maybe something with dilithium crystals? idk I didn't get that far). Anyway, the shields make her an amazing person to bring on landing parties as it's not a weapon that can be disabled and no one really expects it. It's a nice ace up the sleeve. She's super in love with Spock, it's super obvious, and she acts really pissy about it all the time jsahfkjsahfkjdsa but uh you know. It's fine. She also bickers with Bones constantly over nothing, but if you ask either of them, they'd say they're great friends. They enjoy it.

angry!Star Trek SI was going to have a big culminating event where in an emergency her weirdness that results from dilithium crystals in some way would allow her to help the ship escape an emergency situation (the ship is powered by dilithium crystals) but at serious personal cost. So Spock would have to grapple with this being the logical choice but also like. With not wanting it!!!

Anyway I have rambled a lot now I hope you enjoyed this!!!

[bluesakura007]

Undeniable - Chapter 4: Khan’s Past - Khan Noonien Singh x OC

Summary: After storming off following the start of her feud with Bones and Spock, Zinalya seeks comfort with the man who said feud revolves around in the first place, during which he divulges the story of his origins and how he ended up being awoken in the 23rd century.

Warnings: Roughly about half of this chapter is angst, and it includes mentions of the deaths of a parent and a friend.

Zinalya was almost flying down the corridors and then onto the ground floor via a turbolift, filled with her now released anger at Dr. McCoy. He had no right to be telling her how she was allowed to feel about someone, and her blood additionally boiled at the recollection of what she’d walked in to hear Spock saying earlier on before that, about how her plan to get Khan sent away with an exile sentence and go with him - and she guessed that the former also meant this about her feelings for the latter in the first place - would bring disrepute to Starfleet. 

According to Bones, he and the others were trying to help her, but she felt in the back of her mind that this was a lie, as he and Spock clearly didn’t actually care about what she wanted or how she felt because she was obviously the only one out of the three of them who could be bothered to look past Khan’s exterior for what lay underneath. This reminded her of a phrase she’d heard of once: “If you look for the good in people, you’ll find it.”

She was thankful for the fact that Scotty and Chekov were supportive of her wanting to leave with him - further proof to her that, as always, they were good friends - and she knew that while Kirk, Carol, Sulu and Uhura were remaining neutral and hadn’t picked either side of the argument, this could have been worse, due to the fact that one of these two sides they could have picked was to shut down and oppose her plan entirely, like Spock and McCoy. 

In spite of her annoyance at this latter pair, though, she felt the same kind of twinge as she had during her sarcastic remark to Spock when she’d walked in and heard him, which was guilt for the hostile moments of her behaviour just now. Especially for the particular moment when she slapped Bones. But this was only a temporary twinge as, with another surge of her blood boiling, she remembered that, effectively, they’d disregarded her viewpoints in the conversation and insisted on wanting to keep her away from the man she liked.

Within another few seconds, she’d arrived at the place where she’d been heading as soon as she stormed out. The room where Khan was being held in another cell.

The retinal and fingerprint scanners outside this room both recognised that she was indeed lieutenant-commander Zinalya Hamilton and allowed her to enter as a result. 

What she immediately noticed upon doing so was that apart from a few guards near to the door on the outer side, there were none inside the room itself, which she initially found to be a relief because of her wanting to speak alone with him until she found out why: to her right, in the corner of the ceiling above her, was a tiny, spherical-shaped black glass object which could only be noticed if you put in effort thanks to this size. It hardly took a detective to deduce that it was meant to be some kind of security camera.

"Did you mean it?"

She was suddenly snapped out of looking up at the camera by a certain deep and English-accented voice from in front of where she was standing. There he was, in a cell with a large floor-length glass window not unlike that of his previous cell onboard the Enterprise. Even the colouring of the room as a whole was very similar, except this one was slightly more like grey with a blue tint as opposed to pure white. "Sorry, what?" She turned her head back to facing where he was sitting at the back of his cell, looking at her with an owllike unwavering gaze, during which she found her anger from a minute ago fading.

"Did you mean what you said earlier in the courtroom, Miss Hamilton?" The sound of Khan’s voice still gave her shivers despite the amount of times she’d already heard it. "When you declared that you have romantic feelings for me?"

"I did, yeah." She nodded her head and simultaneously walked closer towards the cell. It took that little fraction of less time compared to on the Enterprise due to the room being marginally smaller than this ship’s brig. He now once again had the same look on his face that he’d had before, when she’d made this announcement he was referring to: a little dash of curiosity and slight skepticism but predominantly feeling touched by what she said. "Why do you have those feelings?"

Zinalya chuckled to herself. "I’m obviously not going to catch a break from that question anytime soon." When she saw his aforementioned expression change into one of mild confusion, she elaborated, "Commander Spock asked me the same thing just now."

"And what did you say to him?" Another one of those subtle outward expression shifts happened, this time her sensing slight dislike from Khan towards this half Vulcan first officer.

"I told him that I’m not entirely sure why, but it was partially because I felt like you’d been through an emotional rollercoaster, with all the admiral Marcus business." Zinalya replied, hesitant to bring up this subject. She and Khan were now standing right in front of each other, only about a foot apart on either side of the cell’s glass.

He momentarily laughed to himself through closed lips and craned his head to the side, looking down at the floor. "I take it I’d be right in presuming he and your other colleagues tried to convince you that the way you see me is a mistake?"

"Spock and Dr. McCoy did." Responded the half human-half Trill. "But not all of them were like that; the others haven’t taken a side but ensign Chekov and Mr. Scott are being supportive of it."

"You seem to trust those two a great deal."

"They’re my closest friends." Her inner sensation of gratitude and relief at their support swung into action again, because she remembered that this meant she was at least not fully alone in her plan and in that day’s developments.

Khan looked back up towards her, seeming as if he himself had just experienced a memory recollection of his own. He paused for a beat, and then spoke again, "I’d like you to know I feel the same way, Miss Hamilton; I find you endearing in return."

It was a surprise to her ears, because, after all, she was hoping that her emotions would indeed be reciprocated by him but the prospect of it actually, really happening was unexpected, so now it was her turn to pose the question, "Why?"

"Because from the people who I met and interacted with on your Enterprise, you appeared to be the only one who didn’t dismiss me as a mere criminal." Answered Khan, whose eyes she thought were like that of a snake due to the brightness of his light turquoise eyes, which made his pupils, at some moments, look as if they were slitted. 

She’d additionally used this time where they were in front of each other to mentally take in and properly admire every edge of his tall body and his immaculate black hair. "You only came to speak to me a few times, but during those instances I noticed that you behaved kindly towards me. Apart from this reason however I’m not certain myself: I like you in return for a reason that I can’t put my finger on either."

Zinalya thought to herself deeply about this weirdly complex concept of attraction. "Maybe we’re not supposed to understand why we’ve got feelings for each other. Do you believe in destiny?"

"It depends on the specific context." Said Khan.

"Well I think the bigger reason could be because it’s pre-destined and it literally is what’s meant to happen."

Khan nodded his head, slowly and gracefully, in understanding of this theory. "If we are pre-destined to be together as you say, then I think I should be fully honest with you - I should tell you about how it all began. The events that ultimately led to my revival last year and everything that followed."

"Okay." There came her own nod again. "I do know that at one point back in the 20th century you were a world leader, the head of a large empire, but that's all I know about you, so I would like to learn more." She sat down on the floor in front of the glass, anticipating that what was about to follow might take some time.

Khan quietly took a breath and he, too, sat down, the right side of his body leaning lightly against the glass. "The first four years of my life were rather peaceful - most of the memories I had from back that far became vague over time so I had to find out later on by doing my own research, but I lived during those first years in India, with my mother." He began. "Her name was Dr. Sarina Kaur, a biochemist who had, around that time, been carrying out experiments and investigations into asexual reproduction."

"Asexual reproduction? Like how plants and some insects have children without having to...?" She trailed off at the end, realising how awkward the rest of her sentence was going to be.

"Yes." Khan, luckily, answered what she was trying to query without her having to put in this ending. "I found out when I did my own exploration into the four early years that I was apparently conceived by her via artificial insemination. And it was entirely artificial - she'd managed to perfect her theory of creating a human child from a single parent without the need for a donor of any kind, dubbed the Chrysalis Project. I was born in the year 1970, so this was quite a notable scientific achievement for the time." Zinalya was still listening intently, while he continued, now with a feeling of poignancy shown upon his face, "I was initially conceived as another one of her experiments, which is why she gave me minor changes and enhancements in my DNA that created my different eye colour and accent and my light skin tone, allegedly whilst I was still in utero, as well as a small mental enhancement allowing me to recall early memories more easily. But I still remember clearly that once I’d been born, she was the kindest and most loving person I had ever known."

"She sounds like she was a really sweet woman. I think I would've liked to meet her if she was still around today." The lieutenant-commander opined with a gentle smile, knowing in her mind that based on how long ago the 1970s were, Sarina would have been long gone by that time.

"She was. When I was still very young, she had a pet dog named Cinder, a border collie I believe; he had already reached old age when I was born and he died when I was two years old, but before then it was just me, Cinder and my mother together in New Delhi as a family. And then one day, another two years later, I found out that she died, as well."

"What happened to her?"

"Something went wrong at her laboratory. It caused a fire which she was killed by as she tried to escape." He said. "I'd been out that day, playing in the streets with some of the other children who lived nearby. Her parents lived in Kolkata, meaning there was no one close enough to take care of me, so I spent the next year living on those streets. The first few days I spent moving from place to place with my blanket in my hands and I spent most of those nights crying until I cried myself to sleep." Zinalya felt her chest tighten at the sight of the wistful look in his eyes. "Until I met another boy, Tanvir Acharya. He was three years older than me and was also an orphan on the streets, and was the leader of a small group of others which he allowed me to join. Me and him became friends to the point where we both considered each other as a brother figure, but a year on, we and the rest of the group were taken, among numerous other orphans, for experimentation."

"Is that what made you into an Augment? What gave you all your abilities?"

"It was - there was a total of twenty-four boys including myself and fifteen girls who were subjected to genetic engineering over the course of several years, for the purpose of eventually becoming living weapons. Seven years after our capture, in 1982, Tanvir and I devised a plan to escape and then later come back in the hopes of liberating the others in addition, and we both ran off in different directions. I made it to the Gobi Desert before I was found by Dr. Heisen, the director of the eugenics project responsible for our augmentations, and was recaptured and returned to the research facility by the use of a neural inhibitor in my body, which doubled as a tracking beacon. All thirty-nine of us had each been implanted with one for controlling us with pain if need be." The wistful expression began to gradually amplify itself. "After I was returned, I discovered that Tanvir had also been recaptured, but the use of his own inhibitor had killed him: he was born with a heart defect which was never treated, so the electric shocks from his inhibitor had stopped his heart from beating." 

He remembered how truly awful he’d felt at this moment way back when - a twelve year old boy holding the corpse of his best friend, his older brother figure, in his arms and entering back into what he did during those first few lonely nights on the New Delhi streets, which was crying his eyes out.

"Oh god..." Said Zinalya.

"Three more years on from then, I successfully removed my own inhibitor and those of the others and killed Heisen myself." He moved on from this particular part of the story before he lost himself in the memory, hissing the sentence with a small edge of aggression in his tone. "From there, we escaped and gradually released other eugenics subjects in various countries across the world, and I imagine the rest is familiar to you."

"You set up your empire in the early 1990s and ruled over half of Earth." She confirmed. "Before you escaped the planet with seventy-two other Augments later."

"It was our belief that the rest of the human race couldn’t properly look after itself. Myself and a few others infiltrated world governments in 1990 and established our own, leading to the beginning of the Eugenics Wars in 1992. It was during this time when I did my research into the finer details of my origins, and one of the other things I eventually uncovered was my mother's naming process for me: I was named Khan after one of her grandfathers, she gave me my surname after the 15th century poet Singh el Bashir, and my middle name was after Noonien Prasad, her boyfriend who died from lung cancer while she was pregnant with me. We were attacked during my reign that followed by the non-Augment governments and threatened with nuclear weaponry, but I refused to retaliate with my own."

"I remember; you told me once on the Enterprise that yours was one of the few Augment governments where there wasn’t anything like genocide or the other worst parts of a dictatorship." Zinalya, who was currently leaning the back of her own body against the glass, stretched her legs out so that she was sitting with them in front of her and craned her head around to look at him. "You had the threat of total destruction over you and you still stood your ground without using the same weapons..."

"At one point, me and my own followers were also attacked by another Augment leader, although as you can see I was the one who won the battle." She could see his eyes becoming misty at this point. "But my leadership still almost cost me everyone I knew throughout this last year. In 1996, we were forced to flee to Australia and board a sleeper ship which we christened the SS Botany Bay, and then came Marcus' discovery of us." A tear slid ever so slowly down out of his left eye while the other one was still welling up. "If it is destiny which has brought me here to you in this time, then it must have a perverse way of thinking. I'm not certain whether or not I should be thankful for those circumstances."

"I'm so sorry." The security chief was finding his tears to be contagious. "I wish me and the others knew what was going on - he was manipulating you and threatening to take away every person you had left who mattered to you, and we did nothing..."

"You mustn't blame yourself, Zinalya." Khan turned to face her slightly more, and then came the tear from his right eye to match the one on his left cheek. "I'm sorry that I've gotten us into this current situation." He placed his index and middle fingertips from his left hand onto the surface of his side of the glass to indicate what he meant: they were separated from each other by nothing more than a thin material, and faced with the uncertainty of whether they'd be allowed to go into exile together or be well and truly separated indefinitely.

She gently shook her head and did the same with that of her right hand, turning her position herself to make it so that it was the left side of her body up against the glass instead of her back, as it had been previously. "It's okay. I know half your life's been hard - you didn't deserve those deaths of Tanvir or your mum, Khan. You didn't deserve any of the bad things that happened to you at all."

Hers were somewhat more free-flowing compared to his, but Khan and Zin just let their tears stream out in each other's company. The former shifted his position again in terms of how his head was inclined, which now made it look to anyone seeing it from in front of or behind them like they were leaning into each other with her head on his shoulder and his own head on the top of hers. They sat there for a while, in a silence laced with unspoken tenderness between them.

[nikkzwrites]

Emotional Support Vulcan | AOS Vus x Reader One-Shot |

Author’s Note: This fic is set in the Kelvin timeline in between Star Trek (2009) and Into Darkness. Vus is my Vulcan OC along with his older sister. I recently made a post about this, but I actually wanted to give my poor Vus some attention so here it is.  Word Count: Little over 3k Story Description: 

You are escorting your superior when you met the Vulcan Matriarch’s brother. He was different from what you imagined. He stood tall and strong. He did not seem like the child his older sibling spoke about. He was going to be working with you during the stay.

You sighed and looked towards your commander. He seemed to be just as anxious as you were about being here on New Vulcan for the ceremonies. You crossed your legs and settled in your seat in his bed. You complained and asked, “Do I really have to be the one down here with you? Why couldn’t someone else do it? Or why have someone come with you at all?”

He sighed and used the mirror to gain eye contact with you, “She requested a representative of every ship in the Federation that helped aid her people. I was a personal request of attendance and hold a seat in the ceremony. I could not be the representative for Enterprise.” Spock turned toward you and commented, “You were also the one who requested shore leave.”

“I didn’t think I was going to be stuck following you around,” You huffed at him.

He rolled his eyes and mentioned, “This was simply to make sure you did not break terms and embarrass the rest of your species so that Humans are not uninvited to New Vulcan much like Vulcan was before.”

You stood up nervously, “You don’t think she would do that, would she? She is half Human, right?”

“Depends on how severe the situation,” he explained, “She may have no choice than to look out for the safety of her people first.” He studied you seeing how you paced around the room anxiously. He thought for a moment, “I can always request a different escort for you if you wish.”

You stopped in your tracks and rushed to him with a beaming smile, “Really?”

He nodded and bowed his head, “Please excuse me for a second.” He disappeared behind the door. You rolled your eyes. You could understand he didn’t want a diplomatic incident, but he was close enough with the Matriarch to be specially invited by her to her coronation as the Matriarch. So what was the issue?

Spock slipped back into the room just as you were pondering those questions. He smiled and said, “Good news. Laarth has agreed to spare a very important person in her life to entertain you.”

This made you perk up. You smiled and asked, “Oh? Who is it?” You silently hoped it was not Vus. He seemed even more boring than your Commander. He was constantly just following his elder sister around. You only heard his deep voice once. It sounded as whiskey felt when you took a shot. You know he could talk more though because you could spot him often leaning over his shorter sister to whisper to her. 

“Vus,” your commander instantly killed your mood once more.

You yelled in frustration. “Why did you have to go and do that for? I’d much rather be with you. She probably trying to get rid of him because he bores her too!”

He quickly put a hand over your mouth, “Please not so loud. You are going to upset her.”

“Upset her,” You complained after pulling his hand away, “What is there to be upset about?! He’s dull, uninteresting and…”

Vus silently walked into the room. His demeanor showed no sign that he had heard you complaining about him. His curls draping over his forehead. His low voice rolled over the rest of the room, “Excuse me, I believe my sister assigned me to be your escort. Am I intruding?”

“No,” both you and your commander said in unison.

He nodded his head slightly and brought the corner of his bottom lip into his mouth for just a second before responding, “They are setting up the booths around the town if you would like to join me.” His dark eyes wouldn’t meet your gaze.

You stared at him a moment in a trance. Was he always like that, since you’ve seen him? You felt a sharp pain in your side bringing you back to what you were supposed to be doing. “Oh,” you immediately released at the pain. You looked up at the man once more, “Yes. I would enjoy that very much.”

He nodded and hurried out, “I will give you time with the attendants to help you get into more suitable clothes.”

“Why I,” You started after him. You got cut off by your commander looking at you sternly. You sneered back at him as a reply but walked back to your room without arguing. Standing at your door awaited two attendances with a traditional Vulcan jacket and pants. You grabbed the outfit and dismissed them deciding you knew how to get dressed.

After a while, Vus knocked on the door and walked in without waiting for an answer. He looked down at you. He raised a brow and stated, “You didn’t use an attendant I sent for you.”

“Why would I,” you asked. Everything was on. That was all that was needed, right?

Vus motioned with his hand as an offer to help. You saw no reason to decline so you accepted. He made you turn and he started to untie the belt holding the front pieces together. “Those are backward,” He stated before walking out to allow you decency.

You stared at him as he walked away. He held his hands in front of him as he walked away. His jacket really fit him well. It showed off his wide shoulders compared to his waist. Did he work out? Do Vulcans work out? You shook your head of those thoughts. Did it really matter that the front panels were backward? You fixed it nonetheless and walked out. You looked at Vus, who was waiting for you right outside the door.

“Much better,” He commented. He turned away from you and called back, “Please keep up.” He was already heading down the stairs.

You hurried behind him. “So,” you asked, “why was that so important?”

“You don’t want people to think you are married to a dull, uninteresting bore, would you,” he kept posing questions but in a tone that was more just statements. 

You flushed in embarrassment. So he had heard the comments. You fumbled over yourself trying to come up with something to say, “L-listen I...”

He interrupted you, “It’s fine. I take no offense. I do not believe either one of us appreciate this.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion. “You have preferences,” the question slipped out before you could stop yourself. You could just hit your head in frustration at yourself.

“Do you not communicate with your superior officer often,” He asked back. He reached the door and bowed his head to one of the other Vulcans before putting his arm around the small of your back and guiding you out in front of him.

Feeling his hand guiding you made you feel vulnerable. His large hands were so gentle, yet foreboding. They were so quick to lead you to where he wanted then to disappear from you. Your skin burned from the lack of his touch staying there. Your eyes traced his strong jawline as he slowed to allow you to walk ahead. His harsh eyes motioned for you to speed up.

“I would like to be back before sundown so please quicken your pace and decision making,” his authoritative voice pulled you back into the focus of what you were doing. 

You rolled your eyes at him, “Are you always this impatient?”

He was quick to reply with, “I just expect more from an officer of Starfleet. You are rumored to be very decisive when faced with a dilemma. I believe I should correct these assumptions now though. Clearly it was just propaganda.” He stopped by a booth to order something you couldn’t make out since he was speaking in his native tongue.

Anger bubbled up within you. “Do you have a problem,” you hissed.

“I believe you are mistaken,”  Vus paid the woman and past you a stick with cooked food on it while he kept one for himself, “I am simply making an observation. I do not mean to offend. Though I must admit, I did have much more important matters I was attending before I was mandated to make sure you do not cause a disastrous diplomatic incident.”

You made a face, “If it were so important, I do not believe they would have spared you.”

“On the contrary,” Vus replied, “My sister has a notable soft spot and a logical foully when it comes to your Commander.” His lips rested tenderly on one of the pieces of his portable meal as he expertly bit into it. The juices dripped into his mouth and glazed his lips.

You thought for a moment, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, I was the only other person in the room when he asked if she could spare anyone to escort you.”

“You’re telling me,” you realized, “That she chose you because she forgot other people existed when Spock walked into the room.”

Vus fell silent. You could infer that you must have been correct, but he didn’t want to confirm. He instead walked to a booth with some flowers and started talking to them. You sighed knowing that the conversation was over. You leaned against the side of the booth and looked around at the busy street. You were surprised to see so many bustling people around. You used this time to watch how the Vulcan’s interacted with each other. Many of them seemed to be somber despite the festivities going on around them. You looked towards your escort.

You asked, “Is this common?”

Vus looked around and then asked, “May I have a clarification of what you are referring?”

“Everyone seems...upset,” You commented, “On edge.”

Vus replied, “Maybe you are misunderstanding.”

“No,” You stopped him, “I am not. What is wrong?”

Vus looked around. He grasped your arm and pulled you into a more private area. A flicker of aggravation sparked within his eyes, “You realize what this is correct?”

“A coronation,” you asked.

He nodded and said, “Our planet is gone. Many of us lost loved ones on Vulcan. We must move forward. Some of us are losing people in this process.” He read your confused reaction and sighed. “I lost my sister and my mother when we lost Vulcan.”

You shook your head, “But your sister…”

“She is a leader now. You don’t know what that means,” He slammed his fist into a nearby building, “She lost her life so that she could step up. For many people, they lost their leader of over 100 years. Do you think she is ready to step into that place? She’s midway into her twenties! She had a good 40 years before this. She had at least 20 years to be Ambassador and before that 20 years being an apprentice.”

You reached to touch him. 

He was shaking violently. Suddenly he looked at his hands, took a deep breath, and stopped. He looked at you. “I believe it will be best if we get back.”

There was silence walking back to the house. He walked ahead. He seemed farther away than he was before. His hair was disheveled. You wanted to grab onto him to let him know that it was okay. 

Upon arriving, Vus stormed past his sister without saying a word to her welcome. He just rushed up the stairs and hid away within his room once more. You, panting, stopped. You doubled over trying to catch your breath. Laarth’s soft touch pet your back. Her small nimble fingers ran down to soothe you. “Oh, is everything alright,” She asked.

You shook your head and looked up at her. She was so gentle, yet her stoic face held an aura that demanded respect. You explained what had happened. You licked your dry lips trying to stay hydrated.

“Why don’t we get you some water,” She asked motioning to one of the attendants to grab some while she walked with you. She held your hands while the two of you walked, “You know, Vus has always been my closest confidant.” She thanked the attendant for the water and handed you the cool glass.

You took a sip. Everything about this moment felt refreshing. What about her made you feel so complacent, you wondered to yourself. You spoke up and asked, “Is he?”

Laarth nodded and smiled, “We were both lonely children before we met. I believe because somewhere deep inside our Katra were calling to each other. So when I first came to Vulcan, we bonded very quickly. Our mother wasn’t the most…” Laarth thought for a moment, “loving individual. But I had my father for 8 years prior so I was able to help Vus.”

Your brow furrowed, “Help him?”

“Yes, emotional suppression through logic comes very hard for him,” She continued to explain, “He has always been very tender and gentle. The weight of the world always was on his shoulders. He never believed I should be thrust into this position or work with Sarek. He often came home from school with bruises and cuts that I would have to clean up.”

You sat at the garden table she lead the two of you towards. “Was he bullied,” you asked. You had no idea he was actually this troubled. He just seemed like an arrogant self-centered ass.

She shook her head, “The other Vulcan children didn’t like that I was shown preferential treatment. I was allowed out of school and studied at a very young age to follow Sarek’s teachings.”

You finally put it together. He loved and missed the world where it was just him and his sister against the world. Now it was just him. He must have been so lonely. Now that she mentioned it. You remembered seeing his reaction to her embrace from after the Vulcan explosion. You had never seen him more relaxed. His head resting against hers. His hair wet with sweat and face covered with soot. He was so dirty and messy. Yet, you could feel nothing but contentedness radiating from him at that moment. You stood. You thanked Laarth for her guidance and asked to take your leave.

Vus didn’t show up for dinner that night. He apparently locked himself in his room completely. You felt hurt. You stood outside his door trying to come up with something to say. You couldn’t tell anyone how long you were there. It felt both as if it had been an eternity yet not long enough for you to settle out what you wanted to say. The world kept moving around you though. Night slowly crept across the house. You were sitting across the hall from his door when you heard it. 

Gentle piano music waft through his door. It was so quiet. You snuck in to listen to him play. 

“Afraid to be alone again,” he lowly sang, “I hate this” He continued as he played, “I'm trying to find a way to chill,” His playing and voice slowly grew, “I can't breathe oh. Is there somebody who could,” You heard his voice crack a bit, “Help me, it's like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up. No medicine is strong enough. Someone help me.” His voice just kept growing, “I'm crawling in my skin. Sometimes I feel like giving up. But I just can't.” He paused for a beat before his fingers pounded on the keys. His heart was screaming. “It isn't in my blood,” he repeated, “It isn't in my blood. I need somebody now. I need somebody now. Someone to help me out. It isn’t in my blood.” His sweat and tears fell upon the keys as he focused all of his emotions. You could tell his jaw was clenching between breaths. He slowed his playing to just as faint as a hummingbird’s flight. “It isn’t in my blood.” His voice wasn’t much louder than his playing. He panted as he cooled off from playing his heart out.

Your voice spoke up and said, “I’m sorry.” Your own cheeks wet with tears.

.

.

.

After that day, you were inseparable. He was relaxed. His quiet nature seemed more endearing to you and every once and a while, he would lead over to whisper into your ear about hilariously mean observations he had made. You had a hard time not having fun around him. He even seemed to talk more to Spock. This made you smile. He seemed to be getting over his grudge against the other man. 

You rest your head against his shoulder as the two of you danced at the end of the coronation. Your heart ached to know you were going to have to leave soon. Your commanding officer and you couldn’t stay on New Vulcan forever, as much as you wanted to now. 

Vus’ splendid low voice purred into your ear, “What’s wrong?” He kept the dance going but his hand held your body closer to his taller one. 

“I am leaving soon,” you whispered into his chest.

“Ah,” Vus sighed, “Yes about that.”

You clung onto him, “I don’t know if I want to be without you now.”

You felt him nod. He ran his fingers through your hair, “I can understand that feeling, but…”

“Is there any way I can extend my time here?”

His chest vibrated with his laughter, “No. Starfleet would not appreciate it… Especially since Laarth already made another special request.”

You looked up at him, “What is that?”

“Apparently it was...implied… that I was needed aboard the Enterprise to make sure everything stayed in order with Commander Spock aboard.”

Your eyes lit up, “Really?”

Vus nodded, “I do need to finalize some of the paper work. I do not know if I can be spared from my duties here.”

You brushed your lips against his for a split second before teasing, “But sir, you are my emotional support Vulcan.”

He smiled and pressed his index and middle finger against yours, “You goon.” He pressed his forehead against yours. A content sigh released from his lips as his eyes closed.

[mystery-star]

Threshold of Space - Chapter 7 Assumptions

Pairing: Spock x OC

Warnings: swearing, bullying, allusions to sex, slight violence, angst, slight PTSD

Words: 6775

All Parts: 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |  Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16

If you want to be added to the taglist let me know!

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms!

-

Much to her annoyance, Nicole kept assuring her that Pavel was the right man for her and she was sure that probably half of the Academy now thought she was with Pavel. But somehow Carissa was glad that no one knew the truth.

When the day was finally over, Carissa was halfway in the library when she realized that her boyfriend must be waiting for her. So she turned around to meet him outside as they had agreed. To her surprise, Spock was nowhere to be seen. Someone knocked into her from behind and she almost fell over

“Oh sorry” she had to bite back a groan when she heard Oliver Moore’s voice. “Didn’t see you there”

“No problem, nothing happened”

“That’s good. Just imagine your Russian boyfriend would have needed to come and punish me… Suddenly Bennett isn’t good enough anymore, huh?”

“Leave me alone”

“Or are you fucking two at the same time? Naughty. What would poor old Professor Bennett say if he knew you’re replacing him with a younger one?” she snorted and looked away “Hey” he shoved her “I asked you something”

“Just go away”

“What if not? Will I get into trouble with one of your boyfriends, huh?” he tore her bag away and threw it on the ground

“Just because you don’t have anyone doesn’t mean you need to need to make fun of me. I bet you’re just jealous.” he glared at her

“Take that back, you whore”

“Only if you say you’re sorry”

“I’ll make sure that you will be sorry” he quickly grabbed her and without thinking, Carissa kicked him between the legs

“Let go of me!”

“Only when you apologize!” he turned her around that her back faced him and painfully twisted her arm upwards

“Stop, you’re hurting me”

“Hey uh, what you’re doing?” another cadet asked “Cut the crap”

“Piss off or you’re next” Oliver snarled and the other male did exactly that. “And you apologize and I might be gentle with you”

“What is going on here?” they were approached by a professor and to Carissa’s dismay it was Moore’s uncle.

“She attacked me and I had to defend myself, uncle” Oliver lied.

“Is that so, Wiley?”

“I uh… did not attack him. I might have said something that offended him and then he… ahhh” she cried out when Oliver twisted her arm even more.

“That’s enough, Oliver, you’re breaking her arm. You don’t want to get into trouble because of her” luckily her classmate listened and let go of her. Instantly she rubbed her arm and felt tears in her eyes. “As for you, Wiley, you’ll come with me”

“Sir, I-I did not do anything wrong. I was just standing here when he accidentally bumped into me and started taunting and insulting me about my boyfriend. I told him that just because he has no one, there is no reason to make fun of me. And then he lost it”

“You kicked me between the legs”

“As I see it, this was only a method to defend herself” Carissa felt a smile on her face when she recognized the voice. The other males turned around to the Vulcan behind them

“What would you know about this incident?” the older Professor spat

“I was- as you humans would say- lucky enough, to observe the last part of Cadet Moore and Wiley’s controversy from afar. Which is why I have seen with my own eyes that the first act of violence emanated from Cadet Moore whereupon Cadet Wiley unsuccessfully tried to break free from him”

“Well maybe, Spock, you should let me handle this since you’re not a professor anymore. So get lost and don’t intrude in other people’s business”

“I take it you know of a Vulcan’s aversion to violence so I could not walk by as if nothing had happened. Now that I am involved in this matter I refuse to leave until it is cleared up” he crossed his arms Carissa’s mouth twisted into a smile.

“Is that really necessary?”

“I believe I have made my position clear to you or would you like me to repeat my previous words?”

“I would like you to let me handle that matter alone!”

“Then allow me to assist you and officiate as a witness and neutral judge”

“Don’t you have anywhere else to go?” by now, a group of students was already watching their discussion with great interest. “I’m sure a man who’s as smart as you has a lot of things to do”

“That is correct and right now it is my task to elucidate the incidents of earlier. I am sure that you can profit from my intellect” Carissa bit her lip to not burst out with laughter.

“Are you calling me incompetent?”

“That would be a rushed and probably untrue conclusion. I merely referred to the obvious fact that your brain is second to mine” also Professor Moore now crossed his arms and glared at the taller Vulcan.

“Why don’t you just go back to where you came from? Oh wait, you can’t. Your planet was destroyed. Whoever it was, I’d like to thank them, they have freed the galaxy from a great plague” this was going to end badly, Carissa knew that. “I’m sure you only landed here because the Vulcans didn’t want you. But know what? No one wants you here either…”

“Professor Moore, let us not forget the reason we are here is the controversy between Cadet Moore and Wiley”

“What? Are you not willing to talk about your planet? Or the fact you don’t belong anywhere? Does it make you feel sad? Or does it not even bother you? After all Vulcans don’t feel, am I right?”

“The motive of your resentment towards me is unknown to me”

“Oh come on, Spock, strain your Vulcan brain a little”

“If this is a reference to the fact that I have taken your position as professor for the first and second year cadets, I can assure you that it was never my intention to… how do you say? Hurt your pride. Besides, if this is the case I do believe that we should rather discuss this in private”

“Why? Are you afraid you could lose a debate in front of everyone?”

“Since afraid is referring to an emotion I can assure you that this is not the case” Carissa didn’t like this at all but she had no idea what she was supposed to do and hoped another Professor would interfere.

“At least that explains why you’ve never made yourself any friends…”

“Contrary to your belief I have friends. I am just careful enough to choose them wisely”

“Come on, Spock, we both know that’s not true. You don’t have any friends. You will always be alone, no one wants you”

“Vulcans do not lie. Besides, we had better discuss this in private because I am most certain that our dispute is upsetting the cadets”

“What do you know of feelings?”

“Professor Moore, I do not know when our conversation got out of control but I would like to come back to the actual matter”

“Oh I can tell you when it got out of control. The moment you decided to show up and felt the need to assume an air of superiority” he poked his finger into Spock’s chest who only cocked up an eyebrow.

“Uhh” Carissa said “I really don’t mean to take sides… but the reason we are here is because of Oliver and me”

“Fine, you’re free to leave”

“But uncle, she attacked me”

“This is at odds with the truth, Cadet Moore”

“Are you calling my nephew a liar?”

“I am simply pointing out the fact that his statement is not consistent with my observation” which was, as Carissa knew, a very formal way of saying ‘yes’ for Spock anyway.

“Well Spock, I officially give a damn about your observation, your opinion or your help. Cadet Wiley, Oliver, we’re going to my office”

“If I recall correctly, Professor Moore, you have allowed Cadet Wiley to leave”

“I changed my mind because you distracted me from what I was doing”

“I will allow myself to speak my mind”

“Oh do that Spock, it’s not like you ever hold yourself back…”

“I cannot help but note that you are willing to believe whatever your nephew is telling you”

“Are you implying that I am playing favorites? This is impudent” to everyone’s surprise he hit the Vulcan square in the face.

“Go get him” Oliver hissed. Everyone was looking at Spock, waiting for his reaction.

“I do not imply things, I only word my observations and thoughts”

“What is going on here?” Carissa turned around to see Professor Bennett coming towards them “What are you doing, Professor Moore, Commander Spock?”

“We were simply having a discussion between two old colleagues. Didn’t we, Spock?” he nudged his side with his elbow.

“Unfortunately, I beg to differ”

“Is that so?” Bennett turned at Carissa “Cadet Wiley, could you please tell me what is going on here, seeing as they are not capable of doing so?”

“Oh err…” she found herself telling what had happened since Oliver had bumped into her, feeling embarrassed with everyone looking at her

“Fine. I suggest we forget everything that has happened. Cadet Wiley, Cadet Moore, you both apologize to each other and consider it done” then he glanced at the two officers “And the same applies for you two. You should know better than to being a squabble in public. You’re supposed to be a role model…”

“Oliver, I am sorry about my comment”

“And I’m sorry too…” he looked down and leant closer “that you’re a whore. You’ll pay Wiley” then he walked away, directly followed by his uncle after he threw a last glance at Spock. Bennett ushered the other cadets away before he left too. Carissa slowly rubbed her arm and looked down

“Are you hurt, Carissa?”

“No I’m fine, Spock, thanks” she whispered, not wanting to look at him.

“I apologize for my behavior, I did not want to attract attention”

“I said I’m fine” she repeated and picked up her bag.

“Carissa, I cannot bring you to my apartment now because there is something I need to do first”

“Oh okay. I guess I’ll wait in the library” to be honest, she was glad to hear that because she didn’t want the other cadets to see how she left the campus with Spock. At least not right now.

“Then I will come and meet you there when I am finished” she nodded

“See you later” she went back inside and walked to the library, sitting down next to Nicole

“Hey, I thought you’d be leaving with your boyfriend” she said, nudging her side

“He’s got stuff to do right now. I’ll wait here”

“Does that mean Pavel’s coming here?” she only sighed and realized that now Nicole would learn the truth if she wanted or not.

“Nicole, Pavel is not my boyfriend”

“What? Why? I mean why didn’t you tell me? Who is it then? I really don’t know anyone else from the Enterprise really who come into question. Lieutenant Sulu maybe?” Carissa said nothing again “Alright, you leave me no choice” she typed something into her PADD “Let’s see who else is serving on the bridge of the Enterprise… Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, Lieutenant Chapin, Lieutenant 0718 what the hell? Is that an android? Good that were all males. Okay, let’s break this down and see who we can exclude. We already said that it can’t be Kirk and I suppose you’re not dating someone called 0718 and we all know that you can’t honestly have a relationship with a Vulcan unless you’re one too. So that leaves Chapin and Sulu. Hmm… I’ve got absolutely no idea who this Chapin is, so I suppose you don’t know him either. As for Sulu, I think he’s more you’re type. Oh come on, Carissa, show me at least some reaction…”

“Nicole, please stop” Carissa sighed

“Then tell me who it is”

“You’ll see him when he comes here, isn’t that enough?”

“No, I can’t focus now”

“Well once you know you’ll be asking questions anyway…”

“Fine alright… just tell me, is he among the ones I already listed or not?”

“Yes, you mentioned him”

“So it is Sulu?” a cadet opposite them cleared her throat

“I heard he’s gay”

“What? Sulu?”

“Alright it is Chapin then… probably”

“But who is this Chapin?” the other cadet asked. Great, now even strangers were interested in her love life.

“I don’t know. Carissa, you tell me?”

“What do I know?”

“Ahh you’re trying to talk yourself out of it…”

“Nicole, you’ve already spent the whole day claiming I was with Pavel and it turned out it wasn’t the case.”

“Wait, was that a hint that it isn’t Chapin?”

“Yes it was” the other cadet said, got up and took a seat on Nicole’s other side “Show me the list… it has to be someone else then. Are you even sure it’s a man?”

“Yes. She said it’s a boyfriend. I still believe it’s Kirk somehow, given your history. Wait a second, didn’t you say he was on the Vengeance with you? Maybe he’s asked you then? Oh yes, that would be typically Kirk to ask you in the middle of a fight”

“Yes but I don’t know what you mean with keeping quiet about her but I imagine that Kirk would not do that”

“Damn, you’re right… hey, what’s your name?”

“Alisha”

“What year are you in?”

“Second”

“Oh okay. I’m Nicole and that’s Carissa. We’re third years”

“Nice to meet you” Carissa only murmured in agreement.

“But hey, what about the Commander?”

“He’s Vulcan, remember?”

“Oh right, I forgot”

“Guys I’d really love to do some homework right now. You’ll see him anyway and I know that I’ll be getting thousands of questions tomorrow…”

“Okay. I’ll drop this now. But tomorrow, you are in for a looooong questioning. And I still think it’s Pavel…” Carissa chuckled and focused on her work again, yet she couldn’t concentrate as she wanted because she was curious how her friend would react upon seeing her boyfriend. After all she had excluded him from the list almost immediately Two hours passed and suddenly she got a feeling that Spock had forgotten about her. Meanwhile also Nicole was starting to think that “You know, if I wasn’t so curious who it is I would’ve long gone to get dinner”

“Actually I’m hungry too…”

“But if we both leave he won’t know where you are. I mean you must have told him to meet you here?”

“Yeah”

“And what if you tell me who it is and when he comes here, I can tell him you’re in the canteen? Or maybe you’re back by the time he arrives…” Alisha said. Somehow Carissa wasn’t too happy to tell someone she didn’t really know but since she had no idea how long it would take her boyfriend to get here she decided it was better to eat something now. So she gave a nod and leaned towards Alisha to whisper the name in her ear. Her eyes widened “What? No way! How’s that even possible? I want to be there when you answer the questions!”

“What? Who is it?” Nicole insisted “Tell me”

“Although I’d like to see your face… it is only Carissa’s decision”

“Oh Cassie please”

“I told you you’d see him…” she grinned as she got ready to leave.

“Okay I’ll just guess again. Alisha seemed surprise, so it’s probably someone we don’t expect… so definitely not Pavel” she packed her things as well. “Shit, it has to be Kirk… somehow… maybe he just wants to protect you by not telling everyone that you’re with him… Or it’s Sulu. Maybe he’s just bisexual” on the way to the canteen Nicole kept rambling about the whole matter but luckily she became silent once they reached the canteen and stood in the queue to get their dinner. “Let’s go here” Nicole said, walking past her and sat at a table near the entrance so that she could face it. The brunette shrugged and took a seat opposite her. She had the impression that Nicole wasn’t actually focused on the food and only stared at the entrance. Every time someone entered, there was a curious mien on her face and Carissa’s head shot around. It mostly were cadets, sometimes teachers. After a while she didn’t even turn around anymore. Suddenly Nicole’s jaw dropped and she raised her eyebrows, then she shook her head “Ah never mind”

“What?” Carissa asked, turning around again.

“Our dear old friend Professor Pointy-ear just entered. But whatever he’s doing at the Academy, he must have gotten hungry” now she could indeed spot her boyfriend talking to one of the cooks who didn’t seem very pleased. Once he had his plate, he walked straight past them to sit at the next table. Carissa frowned. Of course, he probably didn’t want to sit with her in public but it still hurt that he acted as if he had not even seen her. She glanced past her friend and stared at Spock who at least nodded at her now. At this she couldn’t help but smile as she looked back to her plate. With a frown, Nicole turned around and shrugged “What’s up with you? One second you look like you’re about to shoot laser from your eyes, the next moment you’re as happy as a lark” she only shrugged and cleared her throat “You know…” Nicole suddenly said “I am starting to believe he forgot about you”

“No he hasn’t”

“What makes you so sure about that?”

“I just know him” she said

“Yes you’re right. He’d first need to go to the library, find Alisha, get told that we’re here. And only then he can come here”

“Yeah” she chuckled.

“Did he tell you what he had to do?”

“No”

“That’s bad because otherwise you could have go looking for him”

“He will find me” Carissa said. Nicole gave a shrug

“So… what is he like?”

“Who?”

“Who do you think? Your boyfriend of course”

“Nicole, I promised to tell you tomorrow”

“Yeah but you don’t have to tell me who it is now. Just tell me what he is like”

“I’d rather not discuss that now”

“Why not?”

“Be-because” she glanced to Spock again who was working something on a PADD. Her friend followed her gaze

“Oh, right Vulcan’s hearing. But hey, I doubt he cares anyway. What does he know of love? They surely only do arranged marriages, I mean that’s most logical.”

“Nicole, please… not now” she buried her head in her hands.

“Cadet Summer, I would like to inform you that your statement about arranged marriages among Vulcans might be true for most of us but there are certain individuals who are in a relationship which is indeed based on the feeling of love”

“A-are you talking to me?” Nicole stuttered turning back to Spock who had looked at from his PADD

“Indeed I am, seeing as there is no other Cadet Summer who made a statement about Vulcan relationships”

“Look, Professor… Commander, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you” she turned back to Carissa “Damn, you were right that wasn’t a good idea…”

“In contrary, I did not interpret your statement as an insult. However, I would like to express my apologies for interrupting your conversation but I was sensing your friend’s discomfort at your words”

“Well uh, thanks then” Nicole said “Come on, let’s go it’s getting far too awkward here” she hissed

“It was not my intention to cause you incommodity through my intervention, so please allow me to clarify the matter”

“Clarify? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Nicole muttered as Spock got up and took a seat next to Carissa.

“After it has occurred to me that you were urging Carissa to tell you about her relationship I found that I could not sit and watch from afar since it was causing her discomfort that traces back to my omission to let her know I am sympathetic to not keeping our relationship secret anymore” Carissa looked at him in surprise. He really was okay with her friends knowing?

“And simply said this means?” Nicole said with a frown then her face lit up “Wait! You-you’re not… oh fuck. How? How did that happen?” the brunette chuckled

“It’s a long story and you said we can discuss this tomorrow”

“Yeah I guess I need some time to… digest that. I must admit, I would have expected everything… but not that. Well, something tells me it was kinda obvious but still…”

“Your friend seems to be quite confused”

“She is. She’s spent the whole day thinking I was dating Pavel Chekov and even viewed a list of the Enterprise’s crewmembers who work on the bridge to find out who else it could be”

“Then I apologize for not having told you more clearly that you may let your friends know. I thought you would come to this conclusion when I offered to meet you at the Academy today where cadets would inevitably see us together”

“Well uh, I kind of thought that but I wasn’t sure if you’re really okay with it. I wanted to ask you first”

“But seeing as our relationship does not need to be kept secret anymore I figured that you would realize I had nothing against you letting your friends know”

“Well that’s sorted out now. Thanks for stepping in, I wouldn’t have known how to break it to Nicole”

“Are you referring to the fact that you were puzzled as which words you should use or the fact that you could not foresee her reaction?”

“Both, I guess” she giggled.

“Okay” Nicole said “My brain’s tired, I’ve got zero idea what you have been talking about but uh… if you want me to leave I can go”

“Please, feel free to remain with us”

“Alright. And I know I promised no questions today… but from what I just saw you two are really close. I mean you only got together a couple of days ago and somehow that’s disturbing me.  He’s Vulcan after all and well… I don’t think they’re um… yeah. And I’m probably not making much sense right now”

“Your argumentation is indeed missing important parts but the overall question can be filtered out”

“Yeah at least if you’re question is why we act like we’ve known each other for a long time?”

“Yes, you don’t seem like a couple that just got together, and he is Vulcan after all, I don’t think they are like that in the beginning” Carissa looked at Spock

“Do you mind if I tell her the truth? I mean everything about us?”

“It would be illogical to not do so and lie especially since Nicole is starting to making conclusions herself already”

“But do you want her to know?”

“I know that it is your wish to tell your friend everything and therefore I could not ask a lie of you. Besides, I will have to tell my friends about us as well, thus I have to accept the fact that the truth cannot be kept secret”

“Okay” Carissa nodded

“Wait, you’re able to understand that? Was that a yes or a no?”

“Technically it was neither” Carissa said “He tried to say that it has to be but as I understand it, he actually is okay with it” she glanced at her boyfriend who confirmed.

“Isn’t that… I don’t know, annoying to interpret all those messages all the time?”

“You get used to it. Plus, I’ve figured out a system. It’s usually the last sentence that counts because that’s the conclusion of what he said”

“Ah that makes sense”

“Anyway, to answer your question… but you need to promise me that you won’t tell anyone else, okay?”

“Sure”

“Alright, the thing is, we did not actually come together on Sunday… at least not for the first time. We have been together before and we separated”

“Wait, so one year ago… after the mission at Vulcan… the boyfriend that broke up with you…. was him?”

“Yes” Nicole glared at the Vulcan

“Consider yourself lucky she didn’t tell me the truth back then. Because I would have beaten you senseless, professor or not. Do you have any idea what it did to her? You left her when she needed you the most”

“It is good to see that you are such a loyal and supportive friend and I believe I am much obliged to you for taking care of her when I have made a mistake”

“That was sort of an apology and a thank you”

“Apology accepted and you’re welcome. God Carissa, I just hope I’ll never be alone with him. I mean I need you as translator” Carissa chuckled

“Sure. Maybe we can spend some time together this week? I mean after I’ve told you everything” she looked at Nicole who gave a fierce nod “Unless you don’t want that”

“I believe it would be advantageous to hold such a meeting because something is telling me that your friend is determined to assure herself of your happiness with me”

“Great. Shall we find a date right now?”

“Why not?”

-oO0Oo-

Somehow Carissa was quite glad when she they had finished eating and she left the Academy with Spock

“I’m sorry I didn’t wait in the library. But we were hungry and I didn’t know when you’d come”

“There is no need to apologize, after all you had let Cadet Baker know about your whereabouts so that I was able to find you”

“You’re right. Is your apartment far?”

“No, it is a walk of 8 minutes and 48 seconds”

“That’s really not much” they walked the greater part of the way in silence. Once they arrived, Blacky came to greet her and Spock told her that she could have his room. “And what about you, where will you sleep? You don’t have a couch or something like that”

“I think I will be able to find an occupation during the night”

“You’re planning on staying awake? No, you’re not doing that because of me. You know what, I’m going back to the Academy to get myself a sleeping bag and then I just sleep on the floor”

“I am in favor of your first idea but I will not allow you to spend the night on the floor”

“Fine then I’ll get you a sleeping bag for the floor”

“Carissa, I believe I am capable of organizing a sleeping bag myself”

“But not today”

“Then I will spend this first night awake. This will not be any problem for me, I promise you that”

“Fine, if you insist… would you mind if I use your shower and get changed?”

“Not at all” after her shower, she put on her new pajama and joined Spock in his kitchen. “The thought that you must have lost your PADD when the USS Vengeance collided with your dorm tower has just occurred to me”

“Oh yeah. But I’ll get a new one from the Academy in a couple of days. Besides, maybe the data can be saved somehow or something from my private PADD.”

“How do you get by until then? I am sure that Starfleet Command expects your report in the course of the week and you will need a PADD to file it”

“I’m sure I’ll find a solution”

“I believe I have found one”

“Which one?”

“I can lend you the PADD I have used during my times of teaching at the Academy”

“But don’t you need that?”

“No, I have received a new one when I resigned to become First Officer onboard the Enterprise”

“Oh, okay. That would be nice”

“If you give me your password I will be able to retrieve your data for you as well”

“Really? I’ll have everything?”

“Maybe not everything. Only what is saved on the Campus server”

“That will be almost everything then. Can you also retrieve my conversations, messages and all?”

“I will try to save as much as I can”

“Thanks, you’re the best!” she kissed his cheek and sat down on the second chair. Blacky jumped into her lap and she started stroking his fur. “And thanks for having me here and looking after Blacky yesterday. It really means a lot to me”

“I must admit, it is indeed pleasant to have you at my apartment, even if it only is temporary and I would like you to… make yourself at home, as you would say” she chuckled

“Believe me, you don’t want to have me behaving like I behave at home” he raised an eyebrow “And speaking of making myself at home… I uh… don’t want to keep you from your evening routine and all. I mean, you don’t need to spend all the time with me if you don’t want to”

“I usually only am here in order to eat, finish work, mediate or sleep”

“Oh well… that explains the furnishing and decoration. Or rather lack thereof. No offense”

“None taken. Is there any routine that you have in the evening?”

“Not really. I mean, I ate at the Academy, went to my dorm and got ready for bed. Sometimes I did some homework, something for myself or talked to Nicole or we played a game before we went to bed”

“If you are interested, I own both a Two- and Three-dimensional chess board”

“Oh hell I suck at 3D chess, you know that. But we can play the other one. With advantages for me of course” since Spock was much better at chess than her, they always agreed that she was allowed a certain advantage like two moves instead of one or that Spock had less pieces. Yet, she had never won, and it was quite frustrating to know that she couldn’t win even if she had advantages. He got up and retrieved everything, setting it down on the table

“Which convenience do you wish today?”

“Uh… can I get your pawns?”

“This would only hinder you from getting your other figures into the middle of the board. May I suggest that your pawns can be reused once when I captured them instead?”

“Alright but you still don’t get your pawns” they put the figures on the board and started playing. By now she already knew his strategy a little and sometimes she could tell when he set up a trap. Not even ten minutes later her king was already in check “Damn” she muttered and after she quickly moved him out of the way

“If I were you I would reconsider that move” Spock only said. She frowned and put the king back, staring at the figures as if they’d tell her the solution. In the end she couldn’t see anything she could do (except for sacrificing her Queen by capturing the knight that held the king in check) so she just moved her king to another square where he was safe. For the next two moves, Carissa had the feeling to have escaped a Check Mate, but four moves later it happened

“What did I do wrong?”

“You should have sacrificed your Queen to rid yourself of my knight, seeing as this was the only way to save your king in the long term”

“But-but… I can’t plan ahead that much… besides, I think the whole purpose of the game is ridiculous… you have to deliberately sacrifice your other figures just to save the king. That’s not fair, it’s not what you’d do in real life. Besides, the king just is a real pussy and doesn’t even deserve to be that important” she crossed her arms and let out a huff. “I’ll organize another game, one where you need luck as well to win, then at least I don’t feel so stupid when I lose because I know it wasn’t just because I’m a bad player”

“You are not a bad player, Carissa. Of course, you could optimize your strategy but you have much improved your performance since our very first game”

“So I’m not a complete failure?”

“Absolutely not. I am certain that you could beat the Captain if you exerted yourself”

“That’s nice to know. Seems like I need to play chess with another human again because you’re right, we’re no match to you or a computer… but I’m gonna get a game of luck anyway and we’ll play that too” he cocked up an eyebrow “Yes I know you don’t believe in luck but you’ll see that you need luck to win a dice game or whatever”

“And do you think it would make you feel better even if you know that you won merely by luck?”

“Yes it would” she muttered and let out a yawn

“Would you like to go to bed?”

“Maybe” she mumbled and got up “Oh err. I guess I should warn you that I’ll probably get nightmares. And since this is a unfamiliar place it can be that I totally freak out even when I wake up” she looked down in embarrassment “It might be silly, but I used to have a bunny plushie, which I had since my childhood and whenever something like that happened, I could just cuddle him and it calmed me down. But-but it was in my dorm and now it’s gone”

“Would you describe my odor as soothing and familiar?”

“I-I guess so. Why?” he got up and pulled off his shirt, handing it to her

“Then I am certain that this will help you” she glanced at him before sniffing his clothes and she felt a smile on her face.

“I’m sure it will. Thank you” she placed a kiss on his cheek “Guess I’ll go then” she mumbled

“Carissa, wait”

“Huh?”

“If you wish me to retrieve your data on my old PADD for you I require your password”

“Oh sure. I’ll write it down” she got a piece of paper from her school supplies and wrote it down “Thank you and good night. Or do you need anything from your room?”

“No, I have everything that I need. Good night, Carissa” she went to the bedroom and closed the door after she made sure that Blacky was inside as well.

-oO0Oo-

Of course she had been right about the nightmares and she awoke with a jolt. Instantly, she her hand was feeling for her plushie and she gasped when she didn’t find it. When she remembered what had happened to it she felt tears in her eyes. Trying to distract herself, she threw a glance at the time on her alarm clock. 2.55 AM. Although it was dark she was sure to have seen a silhouette moving in the corner of the room. A second she considered calling her parents, when she remembered that they weren’t here. She took a deep breath.

“I’m fine. I’m safe” she told herself and buried her head back in the pillow her fingers digging into the blanket after pulling it up halfway over her face. Suddenly she remembered Spock’s shirt which she pressed against her chest and curled herself up around it, holding onto it like it was her life ring. Tears were in her eyes and before she knew it, she was silently sobbing because of her dream. There was a strange sound that alerted her and she only wished to be back home or at least in her dorm. When she heard a knock at the door she shot up, frantically looking if there was a place to hide. On the other hand, would someone who wanted her evil knock? When she heard Spock calling her name she breathed out in relief and sobbed his in return. The door opened, her boyfriend entered and took a seat on the bed. Instantly she scrambled up and wrapped her arms around him, nestling against him as close as she could

“Am I right to assume that a nightmare has unsettled you?”

“Yes”

“Do you think it would help if you told me about it?”

“I can do that” she sniffed “I don’t remember everything… but I was at the Academy with Nicole and I guess it was Alisha… they left and I wanted to do something else. That’s when I saw A-admiral Marcus. And he was shaking hands with someone. I-I think it was Nero. They talked and somehow I couldn’t hear them but I knew that they wanted to destroy the Enterprise. So I tried to leave and warn you, but they saw me and dragged me onto a ship’s bridge. I guess it was the Vengeance. Nero set up a transmission and I saw the Enterprise. Marcus told me that he only wanted to know who my boyfriend was and they’d let the Enterprise go. But I couldn’t tell them and one of them said that there is nothing I could do to save you – I mean the Enterprise – and the Vengeance started firing on you and we all were driven towards a black hole. Nicole and Blacky were on that other ship as well. I-I tried to tell Nero and Marcus to stop it and told them what they wanted to know but they said it was too late now and-and I could do nothing except watch how you all died. Then I was back at the Academy and everyone kept asking where Nicole is, so I tried to lie and say she went home be-because I had the hope you would all return somehow. Then we were told that Admiral Marcus was dead and I was blamed for it because the Vengeance crashed and I was on the ship at the time. So I had to go to a trial which was led by Khan and he threatened to kill me if I lied. And I guess then I woke up” he said nothing for a while

“I do not have much experience with nightmares but I believe it could help if you list everything that was illogical or could not happen in any case” she sniffed and did as he said

“I guess it’s better” she said after she was done “But Spock. Can-can you stay here for a while and distract me? Tell me anything that has nothing to do with this”

“The illustration of the giraffes on your nightclothes is inaccurate”

“Why that?”

“Their tongue should be blue rather than pink and the tip is not round but pointy” she felt his forefinger stroking over one of the giraffes on her pajama trousers

“I’ve heard about the blue tongue before” she said “But I think pink fits the color of the cloth and the giraffes better. Besides it’s cute. Just look at their eyes. Or the ones that are cuddling” she looked down and pointed at two giraffes who’s necks where touching.

“As a matter of fact they are engaged in a combat that is supposed to establish dominance”

“What?”

“This is a ritual known under the name ‘low intensify necking’ in which the males rub their necks against each other and the one that has a more secure stand wins”

“Oh” she let out a small giggle “Do you think we should tell the manufacturers about this?”

“I can imagine they would not be pleased to hear of this”

“Hmm. Well we can take care of the tongue ourselves… we can just color them with a blue pen. And then I’ll take a red pen and draw a heart above the fighting ones so that it looks like they’re in love anyway” she mumbled as she leaned her head back against his chest and placed a hand over his heart.

“If the accuracy of the illustrations is that important to you I will see to it that you receive the writing supplies you asked for”

“No, it’s fine. I was joking. But you better not try and make the changes while I’m asleep” she chuckled “Because if you do, I’m gonna draw on your face while you’re asleep” a yawn left her mouth “Did I ever tell you how glad I am to have you?”

“You have made hints in that direction before” his hand started stroking her head and she instantly felt calming down.

“If you do what with Blacky he starts purring”

“I have made that discovery yesterday evening”

“A pity I missed that”

-

Next Chapter

[halfblood-fiend]

Fictober 2019 - Day 8

From The Fictober 2019 event <3

Prompt 8 : “Can you stay?”

Fandom : Star Trek: Voyager

Words : 1,616

Warnings : more alcohol, and one dumbass character; companion piece to this

(WOOOO THIS MEANS I’VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP)

“Can you stay?” Vorik x Modern OC

I crested over that plateau of Party Enjoyment into the diminishing return of Fun pretty quickly after the game of beer pong. It was like suddenly hitting a wall at full speed and crashing into a hard stop. I was slurring, I was saying dumb things, I could barely walk straight, and my internal monologue became something of a chant of "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this." Though it somehow didn’t stop me from continuing to take shots with my crewmates.

As the night went on, trying to keep track of the threads of conversation got tedious but when I started zoning out more often than I listened, I called it. Pretty much just like that, I decided I was Absolutely Done and wanted to be in bed five minutes ago. I had no idea what time it was and people were leaving anyway so it seemed like a good time for me to skedaddle too. So I grabbed Vorik's arm and told him so.

Not that I was particularly complaining, with my stupid crush still gong in full force apparently, but my friend had hardly left my side ever since our beat down of Tom and B'Elanna. It would have been fine if I'd had even a sliver of more self-control. Vorik's quiet and calm made me all too aware of how fucking obnoxious drunk-Giana must have been. Not to mention that I'd been doing dumb shit to the poor guy all night. Not the least of which being exactly what I was doing now: touching him way more than necessary. All the casual physical contact was all well and good for an inebriated social Human, but I had always been under the impression it was pretty taboo for a Vulcan. He was just too nice to say so.

Which was why as I made my rounds to say goodnight to folks, the Vulcan was still at my shoulder.

"Aww. You guys are leaving already?"

Already, as if it wasn't hella late.

"Nice game! I won't forget the look on Tom's face any time soon."

You and me both, friendo.

"It was fun finally hanging out with you. I'll see you tomorrow!"

You might. If I didn't end up sleeping all day tomorrow. No shifts meant no alarms and there was no way in hell I was getting up any earlier than my body wanted to, even if that meant I missed every meal.

I went back to our table to pick up the jacket I'd abandoned hours ago, waved a final goodbye to my friends still sitting there, and turned to find Vorik still behind me, hovering a few paces behind, waiting patiently.

“You know, you don't have to leave just because I am. You should stay and enjoy yourself.” I kept extra busy making sure my jacket was draped over my arm just so. I told myself I wasn't holding my breath for any particular reason.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vorik shake his head and clasp his hands behind his back. “If it hadn’t been for you asking me, I wouldn’t have come at all. Now, you are quite intoxicated. I would prefer to escort you to your quarters rather than staying, to ensure you make it there.”

I laughed, “As opposed to, what? Passing out in the hallway somewhere?”

“Or being taken advantage of. I have not known you to act out of self-preservation and I have often observed your inability to tell others ‘no.’”

Was I so easy for everyone else to read too, or was he the only one that paid attention?

“Okay, okay,” I sighed. “Since you chased off my date earlier, I guess that makes it your job to take me home anyway.”

God, why did I fucking say that?

Vorik arched an eyebrow and fell into step beside me as we left the rec room and turned down the hallway towards the crew quarters.

I couldn’t even keep quiet a minute before I had to open my stupid mouth.

“I’m glad you came, after all. Even if I did have to beg you.”

“As am I. I may not understand the Human obsession with loud music or dancing, but the conversations we had were just as enjoyable as on any other day. More so, perhaps.”

“Why more?”

“Only when they are drunk, are Humans finally honest,” he said. I sensed this could be a dangerous road for me so I tried to switch gears.

I reached out and caught the sleeve of his dark grey tunic and felt the strange crosshatching fabric. “I really like this on you,” I said with a smile.

Then suddenly: God, would you stop touching him, please?? As soon as I thought it, I released him and took to crumpling the light fabric of my dress in my fists instead.

Vorik raised his eyebrows and cast a somewhat amused look in my direction. “Thank you for proving my point.”

“Nuh-uh! I would’ve told you that even if I wasn’t so drunk! Vulcan fashion is to die for. I love it! I just…usually stop myself from giving out compliments is all.”

“Why?”

“Because…” I faltered. Because I am usually too shy? Because I never know how to react to compliments, so I don’t want to put others in that position? Because whenever I give out too many compliments, people accuse me of flirting and that makes me more uncomfortable? “I dunno. ‘M always worried they’ll come off awkward.”

Frowning, Vorik said, “Although many would likely hold the same opinion of me, you don’t strike me as awkward, Giana. I do appreciate your compliment. I, too, am fond of this overcoat.”

“It brings out your eyes,” I blurted before I snapped my teeth together so hard, I probably rattled my brain.

Vorik glanced at me and nodded. “I know. Though I am surprised you noticed. It is unusual for a Human to see the subtlety.”

I wasn’t sure if that was meant to be a compliment or not, but it sure did feel like one. So the smile I flash him is dopey and bright.

I had no idea why I kept doing this to myself. Why keep trailing along picking up the scraps of affection? There was no future here. Vorik wouldn’t—couldn’t possibly—return those feelings. It wasn’t in his nature, and that was okay…just not for me. That would never work out for someone who so desperately craved love. All I was doing was hurting myself. IN the short run. In the long run.

And, logically, I knew that most days.

But it was hard to see that when my head was so thick and my heart was giddy.

“Giana?”

“Hmm?”

I stopped and looked around to find him a meter behind me.

“Your quarters are here,” Vorik said, gesturing to the door to his left.

“Oh.” My face burned. “Y-yeah.”

I pressed my hand to the biometric reader and the doors hissed open. The computer greeted me as I walked over the threshold but I barely heard her. As soon as I walked inside, I was exhausted and felt ready to collapse.

“I would not recommend going to sleep immediately, though I am sure the urge is strong.” Vorik strode in behind me and went straight to my in-room replicator. “You should drink more water and remain alert for at least another ninety minutes.”

“Why?”

“To lower your blood-alcohol content.”

I wrinkled my nose at him. “Wha’? I didn’t know you were a doctor and an engineer.”

“I am not, but the amount of alcohol you consumed could easily lead to poisoning if you aren’t careful.”

My stomach twisted. “…oh?” It hadn’t been that much, had it?

The replicator dinged and Vorik approached me and offered out a glass of water.

I took it, still feeling rather confused and more than a little worried.

“You neglected to eat beforehand as well. It is a wonder you can still stand.” When I hadn’t moved, he reached out and nudged the bottom of the glass with his fingers until I raised it to my lips and took a long drink.

“Will I be okay?”

Vorik shook his head and shrugged halfheartedly. “If you listen, maybe.”

I laughed into the glass. “Don’t ever pursue a medical position. Your bedside manner is ass.”

He sighed. “Do as I say, and you will be fine. Now that my task is complete and you are safe, I will see you tomorrow.”

Vorik had made it all the way to the door before my anxiety won out over my self-consciousness.

“Um. Vorik?”

He paused with his fingers hovering over the keypad and looked over his shoulder.

“I. Um. C-can… Are you… Uh. W-were you planning on sleeping tonight or-or meditating?”

“Meditating.”

I nodded, and rolling the empty glass in my hands, I mustered all the courage from every corner of my being that I could possibly find. “Could…could you…? I-I mean, we don’t have to be in the same room or anything b-but if you’re only meditating, can you—I mean, if you don’t mind—can…can you, um, stay?” He was quiet, but my heart was loud in my ears. “To make sure I don’t die?” I clarified as if that would make the embarrassing request better.

“My mentioning it made you nervous.”

“Uh,” I said with a shaky laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, it definitely did. I had no idea I was that bad.”

“I can stay, if it will put you at ease.”

I smiled. “You’re too good to me.”

“You…are my friend. If my presence will soothe your anxiety, then I am glad to be here for you.”

[summahsunlight]

This Way Became My Journey, CH.11

Word Count: 3192

Pairings: Janeway/Chakotay, Paris/OFC

Characters: Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay, Tom Paris, Sarah Barrett (OC), Harry Kim, B’Elanna Torres, Kes, Neelix, the Doctor

A/N: Here is the next chapter! I hope you like it :)

One week after Voyager is taken from the Alpha Quadrant...

It wasn't even eight in the morning yet and Lieutenant Joe Carey already found himself with a bloody nose in sickbay. It wasn't exactly the way he had pictured his day starting. Already their new first officer was glaring at him hotly. "She's out of her mind!" Carey shouted attempting to sit up. The holographic doctor shoved him back down onto the biobed which caused the man to scream in pain.

Tuvok looked at the man with the same calm and emotionless demeanor that he held with everybody. "You will explain what happened, Mister Carey," Tuvok ordered as the doors to sickbay opened and Sarah Barrett made her way across the cabin towards the group.

Carey did not look pleased to see her there. "What I get hit in the nose and I'm the one who needs the shrink?"

"Lieutenant Barrett is here by my request," Chakotay said. "Maybe with her help we can figure out a way for you all to get along down there."

"Your nose is broken in three places," the Doctor informed the fuming Carey. "Try not to move while I fix it." He walked away but immediately Carey was sitting up again.

Sarah stepped closer to the biobed. "Why did she hit you Lietuenant?"

He sighed, angrily. "We were having a disagreement about the power grid. She wanted to realign the lateral plasma conduit. I told her that would cause an overload," He answered her, wiping the blood a way from his nose with a cloth. "As usual she wouldn't listen. So I told her to step aside and let me handle it. She pushed me a way from the console…and I pushed her back," he became defensive when he saw the accusing look in Barrett's blue eyes. "The next thing I knew I was on the deck with blood pouring down my face!"

She should have hit you harder, Barrett thought.

"Then what happened?" she heard Chakotay ask.

He scoffed. "She said sorry, maybe you should go to sickbay."

The Doctor had returned with his tools to fix the broken nose and forced Carey to lay back down again. "At least she gave you some good advice." Barrett rolled her eyes to the notice of no one while Carey gasped out in pain at being forced back down onto the bed. "Now," the Doctor ordered, "hold still."

Chakotay made eye contact with Tuvok and turned to go. "Don't worry," he assured the Vulcan. "I'll handle this."

Barrett glanced behind her to see the other two men leaving. As she sprinted after them she heard Carey scream, "You keep that woman out my engines and everything will be fine!"

She wasn't so sure she felt comfortable with Chakotay handling this. "Commander," she called, forcing Chakotay and Tuvok to halt their progress. "What did you mean when you said you would handle this?" she asked him, folding her arms across her chest. "B'Elanna has commited a serious offense in Starfleet protocol. Are you up to date on the proper punishment for this?"

Chakotay glared at her. He knew she was only trying to help but her getting involved everything was beginning to wear on his nerves. "She isn't Starfleet, she's Maquis."

"When you agreed to join forces with us, I was under the impression that you were joining us as a Starfleet crew," she mocked him. "Torres should be thrown in the brig for the remainder of the trip for hitting a fellow officer, a senior officer at that."

"Carey is not Chief Engineer," Chakotay pointed out to her.

"He is the most qualified person down there right now to act as a senior officer," she snapped back.

"Counselor Barrett is correct sir," Tuvok intervened. "Miss Torres would be court martial for this offense if we were in Federation space."

Chakotay felt his temper rising. "But we're not in Federation space, and even if we were, my people wouldn't be on this ship."

"You have to stop thinking of them as your people, Commander," Barrett retorted, hotly. "Or the Starfleet members of this crew are going to think you're playing favorites." She put her hands on her hips. "Why did you call me down here anyways if you weren't going to listen to me?"

"To tell you the truth Counselor, I'm sick of listening to you," Chakotay snapped. "Now if the two of you don't mind, I will handle B'Elanna." He turned to go, but Barrett stopped him.

"And the Captain?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll tell her when I'm ready," Chakotay said, disappearing into a turbo lift.

Barrett glanced at Tuvok. "This isn't the first complaint that I've received about Torres," she said thoughtfully. "Captain Janeway should know about it."

"Indeed, as chief of security I will be the one to inform her," Tuvok said. "In the meantime, I would like you to pay another visit to Ms. Torres."

The young counselor nodded her head. "Yes sir, I don't know how much good it's going to do though."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow for a moment before responding, "One can only hope for the best."

Kathryn Janeway hurried along the corridor to get to the turbo lift. She was already late reporting to the bridge that morning, thanks to Michael somehow rewiring her door and locking the family in their quarters until Kathryn had been able to fix it, by that time she was more than twenty minutes behind schedule. Ava had then pushed her back another five minutes more because the child refused to get her shoes on.

After an extensive battle with her one year old, Kathryn had just been ready to step out the door when Michael threw a tantrum that the toy he wanted to bring to the ready room with him that morning was missing. She had torn the quarters apart looking for the toy, only to realize ten minutes later that it had been left behind in their apartment in San Francisco. Now that she was almost an hour late, she didn't have the time to completely calm Michael down before she grabbed the bag of things she had packed the night before, and dragged the child out of the quarters, sobbing along the way about some toy that he had perhaps only played with once and Kathryn had thought he had cared less about.

The crew walking the corridors did all they could to move out of her way so she could walk past them. She must have been a sight, carrying a one year old, and a bag slung over her shoulder, dragging a crying five year old behind her. Not the text book picture of a Starfleet captain, that was for sure. However, she was so flustered at that moment, she didn't really care what she looked like and what the crew thought of her.

"That was my favorite toy, Mama," Michael sobbed as they stepped into the turbo lift. "How could you forget it?"

Of course this is my fault, Kathryn thought, biting hard down onto her lip so she wouldn't lose it. "Deck one," she said, not bothering to answer him. She had learned a long time ago that it was better to ignore his tantrums then to indulge him. The lift started moving rapidly to her relief. As the lift came to a stop and the doors swished open, she heard something fall to the floor with a thump. Glancing down she saw her combadge skip out of the lift and into the corridor. Ava was giggling wildly.

Closing her eyes and saying a silent prayer, she stepped out of the lift and towards the spot where Ava had tossed her combadge. Leaning down proved to be difficult but she wasn't going to let a bag and a baby stop her. However, Michael was going to prove to be harder, since he wouldn't release her hand so she could pick the combadge up. She pulled on it several times before turning to look at him, sternly. "Let go of Mama's hand so I can pick up my combadge, Michael."

The little boy shook his head. "I don't wanna."

Kathryn ran her tongue over her lips and decided it was pointless to fight with him in this state. Managing to balance Ava onto her thigh, she wiggled her other hand free and scooped the combadge up. With a feeling of triumph, Kathryn proceeded into her ready room, dropped the bag onto the floor by her desk, plopped Ava down into her desk chair, and used her hand to pry Michael's grasp off her other. The boy wasn't too happy about that and started to cry even louder than before, standing in the middle of the ready room, stomping his feet.

"That will get you nowhere," Kathryn told him, moving towards her replicator. "Coffee black," she ordered, and a metallic cup materialized before her eyes, steaming hot. She took the mug and was about to savor it's bitter taste when she turned around to see Ava crawl up onto her desk, and push her personal computer off of it onto the floor. The computer broke apart.

"Uh-oh," Ava cooed, looking at the broken computer with innocent blue eyes.

The broken computer was the last straw. Kathryn scooped Ava up off the desk, went to place her down on the upper level and turned to Michael, who was sniffling in the middle of the lower level, the broken computer had taken his attention away from the toy that he missed and ceased his sobs. "Do you two think you can play over here quietly while I try to get some work done?" the mother snapped at the two children. "I'm already behind as it is because I spent the whole morning looking for your toy Michael!"

Michael rubbed his nose on his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Mama."

"Now, the bag is over there, it has things to keep you occupied," Kathryn said, gesturing towards the shoulder bag she had left near her desk. "I suggest that you go through it and find something to do while I work."

"Okay."

With a frustrated sigh Kathryn fell into her chair and reached for the stack of PADDs on her desk, not even bothering to pick up the broken computer, it was after all useless to her now.

She heard Michael shuffling about in the bag and satisfied that he was finding something to keep himself busy, she settled into reading the first report in the stack. It was one problem after another it seemed, simple things that could have been dealt with if they had access to a starbase, however, things were not the case in their situation and they were scrambling to find answers. The hardest being the power supply. It had slowly started to decay the other day and if this report was any indication then replicators were going to go off line at some point and who knew how long they could all survive on emergency rations.

The personnel situation wasn't looking too good either. They had lost their chief engineer and chief medical officer, along with the first officer and chief helmsman when they had been flung into the Delta Quadrant by the Caretaker. Even though she had found replacements for first officer and conn, she wasn't sure if she was going to be lucky enough to find as qualified a candidate as Chakotay or Tom Paris. The Maquis just didn't have the discipline and some of the Starfleet officers didn't have the experience.

Not to mention she had her own personal needs. The children needed a childcare provider while she was on duty, them staying in the ready room was already proving to not be working out. She also had to take into consideration that Michael needed schooling, he was after all five years old and would be going into kindergarten, if they were back on Earth, in the fall. But who on this ship really had the time to devote entirely to baby-sitting and teaching her kids? And who would be willing? It wasn't as if their duties entailed baby-sitting their commanding officer's children.

Finished with the first PADD, Kathryn placed it in a separate pile and began on the second one. The door chimed and she placed the PADD back into the stack, calling out, "Come in."

Tuvok strode into the room with the same stoic look upon his face. "Captain, may I have a moment of your time?"

"Certainly Tuvok, what can I do for you?"

"There was an incident down in Engineering this morning," Tuvok reported, not that it was going to be surprising to Kathryn. Engineering had been a disaster since they had started on their journey home, especially since there was not a senior officer down there. "Miss Torres struck Lieutenant Carey, breaking his nose in three places. Commander Chakotay has asked to deal with it, despite what I think. However, I will be making a full note of it in my security log. I also thought it important for you to know."

Kathryn pressed her knuckles to her mouth for a moment, letting the news set in. "Is Counselor Barrett aware of this new development?"

"Commander Chakotay asked that she not be involved in this," Tuvok stated.

The Captain shook her head. "At this point, I really don't care what Commander Chakotay thinks. I understand his wanting to look out for his people, however, Counselor Barrett is the best person to deal with this matter. Have her report to B'Elanna's quarters. I want her to sit down and talk to her."

"Understood Captain," Tuvok said, before leaving the ready room.

The shattering of glass caused Kathryn's head to spin about and look at the upper level of her ready room. Ava was standing on the sofa, looking down on the floor at what had been a vase of flowers. Now it lay in fragments on the floor. Maybe when Sarah's done with B'Elanna, Kathryn thought, she can stop my daughter's sudden fascination with breaking things.

Sarah Barrett pressed the door chime outside of B'Elanna Torres' quarters and waited to be admitted. After several seconds of standing there, nothing happened, so she pressed the button again. And again she was let in. "Computer confirm that B'Elanna Torres is in her quarters."

"That is affirmative."

Sarah frowned, Chakotay must have given her the heads up that I was coming eventually. Typing in her security access code, the doors slid open and she was facing a very seething looking B'Elanna.

"I didn't want you coming in," the Klingon hissed at her. "I guess you can't take a hint."

"Sorry, Captain's orders," Sarah replied, stepping into the room. "Apparently we're supposed to have a little chat about what happened down in Engineering this morning. I've already been to speak with Lieutenant Carey and several others who were in Engineering when the…incident occurred. The only side of the story I haven't heard is yours."

B'Elanna blinked for a moment, staring at the young woman. Chakotay had not wanted to hear her side of the story, lashing out at her that he had made it one lousy day for him. Like it hasn't been lousy for me, she lamented. She didn't mean to lose her temper; she had told Harry Kim that much when they had been on Ocampa, but it happened, and usually she felt remorse later for it happening. However, she couldn't say she felt sorry for Joe Carey. He had been pushing her buttons since the moment she joined the Engineering staff. "My side of the story? Is that a captain's order as well?"

"Not exactly, but if I'm to work out the problems, then I need to know both sides of the story," Sarah responded to her, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can either make this easier for me and for your self, or you can make it difficult by giving me attitude. It's your choice in the end, but I strongly recommend you cooperate."

"What's there to tell, I hit him because he's an idiot," B'Elanna snapped.

"That sounds like a perfectly good reason to hit someone," Sarah snapped back just as sarcastically. "Let me be blunt Miss Torres, we've been down this road several times already and our journey home isn't even a week old yet. Quite frankly I'm getting sick of this trip. It seems that no matter what I say to you, you don't listen to me."

B'Elanna scoffed. "I don't have to listen to some Starfleet brat tell me how to control my temper."

"You're right, you don't have too, but on the flip side, you shouldn't have too," Sarah replied.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you should have a hold on your temper at this stage in the game," the Counselor shot back. "Hitting a fellow officer is not going to get you brownie points with the Captain."

B'Elanna didn't dare to tell her that she could care less what Captain Janeway thought of her. "So what do you plan on doing with me, Counselor? I hear the Vulcan wants to court martial me."

"I don't want to court martial you, although, if we were home now, this wouldn't even be an issue," Sarah replied. "However if you want to get back to work, I strongly suggest that you try to make amends with Lieutenant Carey. It's a long trip to be holding a grudge against someone and it's also a long trip to be cooped up in here, don't you think?"

Chakotay had told her the same thing, but hearing it coming out of the mouth of the counselor, it suddenly hit B'Elanna that these people weren't kidding her when they said they were going to seriously considering either confining to her quarters or to the brig. Perhaps it was time to start listening to them, because being stuck with Joe Carey breathing down her neck when she knew she was the better engineer, was far better than spending seventy-five years in a cell. "Chakotay wants me to do the same thing, but I don't think either you understand what an incredibly pompous…man Carey can be. It's not going to be easy."

Sarah turned about to leave, glancing over her shoulder, "No, but it's the hard things that we have to go through that make us better people." As she stepped out into the corridor she fully faced B'Elanna, "Maybe Lieutenant Carey will see you in a different light if you swallow your pride and call a truce."

"A truce? Between Starfleet and Maquis?"

A small laced Sarah's face. "Stranger things have happened before."

B'Elanna stared at the door long after Sarah let them room, then setting her jaw she stepped out of her quarters and proceeded to Engineering, perhaps the counselor was right, and apologizing was the right course of action to take, it was, at least worth the shot, even if in the end it didn't have the results that many were hoping, at least she would have the satisfaction of knowing she had at least tried.

[fanfics-await-you]

Sometimes It Comes Down to a Choice (Part 3)

Pairing: Christopher Pike x Female OC

Takes place some point in the future after the events of the Red Angel

Summary: Alina has always carried a secret flame for her Captain and she's always known that it could never lead anywhere. However, the combination of a party and some drunken words might just make that a little more complicated. The only problem, everything just seems to be going wrong. Who knows, maybe a proper goodbye is just what they need.

Tags: angst, injury, a pair of dumbasses unnecessarily complicating things

Notes: Sorry everyone, uni's just gone back so I've been pretty busy. ALSO, weapons =/ explosives…this will be relevant… And yes, I borrowed a line because it is a beautiful and very fitting line! you'll know it when you see it, lol. this chapter turned out hella long so i cut it in half. the 'proper' tension's in the next part.

Word Count: 2,539

masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

———

"So…" as no innocent sentence ever starts.

"What did you and the captain get up to last night?" Tilly suggestively bumps me with her elbow while winking.

I can tell she's attempting to be quiet but the buzz of the room abruptly drops as the crew's super-sense for gossip goes off. Out of the corner of my eye (because I wasn't looking at him, I swear), I see Ch-the captain flinch. I intervene before he has the chance to badly lie.

"Now before anyone gets too excited, prepare yourself for disappointment. I may have gotten a little too drunk—no thanks to you Tilly, I might add, with your Holpian cocktails—and excused myself. The captain kindly offered to walk me back to my quarters and then continued on his way. Who knows, maybe the captain got up to some mischief afterwards but the only thing I'm regretting this morning is my headache." I emphasise the word, hoping that my lie is sturdy enough.

The chorus of laughs and steady return of the room's hum signals that I've convinced most of the crew. The squinted appraisal that Tilly continues to give me makes it obvious that she's not so satisfied. I am praying that she drops it because the thought of him is already clawing at my stomach and it feels like I'm about to start bleeding. Tilly opens her mouth to protest and I brace myself.

"Tilly, I spoke to Alina right before she left. She was feeling unwell and I watched the captain escort her out. There is no mystery except for how you managed to get Holpian liquor on this ship…how did you manage that?"

Michael, you absolute angel.

Tilly looks slightly bashful, "I…am going to go back to my station. Good luck with that headache, Alina."

I look to Michael to thank her but her quietly sympathetic expression smothers my words; she's obviously connected enough of the dots. I swallow the tears that scratch at my throat as Michael places a comforting hand on my arm before she returns to her post. Instinctively, I look to the captain's chair to find him already looking at me. I avert my gaze immediately but steel myself as I hear approaching footsteps. I lock my eyes on the screen before me.

"…Alina-"

"We're in a professional setting, Captain, I would prefer Osborne," my tone is cutting, likely far more than he deserves.

It would seem that no one else hears me but I sense him flinch like I've struck him.

I will always want to choose you.

Maybe in another life.

"Can I help you, Captain?" My tongue is icy sharp.

"Alina-"

"I made myself clear." Stop it.

His weary sigh is like a punch.

His voice is almost imperceptibly soft, "I don't want to lose you entirely. I couldn't bea-"

"I'm not going anywhere…I am your Tactical Officer and I will continue to perform my duties. After all, it's duty first, right Captain?"

I'm being cruel at this point like somehow it will right things or make me feel better. It's not working because the glimpse I steal of his face only further opens the pit in my stomach. Speechless pain is woven across his face as clearly as lightning, and the feeling that I inflicted it is indescribable. Without another word, he nods slightly and turns back towards his chair. This feels even more like a goodbye than last night; there is something so uglily final about the sensation settling in my heart.

———

We speak sparingly for weeks. I've gone from trying to spend every moment with him to barely acknowledging the man that works mere feet from me. The crew must have noticed the change but thankfully have had the tact not to ask about it. However, the gaping hollow continues to grow in my stomach with every glance of him and whisper of his voice inching it wider. Sometimes I wondered how it doesn't just consume me. But I won't let it. I am Alina Osborne, Head Tactical Officer of U.S.S. Discovery. Even if I feel like I'm falling apart, I do not break. I will not break.

———

"Michael, you need to go!"

"I will not let you do this, Alina!"

"Well, someone has to do it and it is not going to be you, Burnham!"

Their pounding on the door behind us continues to grow louder with my heartbeat. The door is reinforced but I know it won't last forever. Time is running out to escape or decide but I can't leave. Not yet. This weapons cache threatens entire planets and it has to be destroyed from the inside out. Unfortunately, the self-destruct button requires a living hand on it for the duration of the countdown. That is to say, someone needs to wait here, deep underground, for everything to come tumbling down.

"Osborne, Burnham, report! What's happening?!"

The captain…

Chris.

Rationally, I am fully aware that we can never be. Irrationally, his voice is still a reminder of everything I am going to lose.

"We can blow the place, but-" I almost can't bring myself to say it-"someone needs to stay."

His voice erratic, distressed, "For how long? To set the charge?"

Michael finds the courage I can't, "No, Captain, someone needs to stay until the charge goes off. It's the only way."

There is an awful, cavernous silence.

"…This is not worth the life of my crew."

I splutter, "Respectfully, Captain, these weapons cannot remain in these men's hands! We will never get another chance to take out their entire arsenal!"

His tone is unwavering steel, "We'll find another way. This is an official order, retreat."

I look to Michael and see the conflict painted across her features. It's in this moment I make a decision. I won't let her suffer for this.

"Understood, Captain. Burnham, let's go, they're gonna break through at any moment!" I quickly steer her towards the other door.

I grab Michael by the arm before she has time to think and her feet slowly start to move. This door leads to the surface, to safety, to life, and for a second, I consider it. I consider running upwards with Michael by my side until we can feel the sunlight on our faces. I consider letting myself break as I hear the palpable relief in my captain's exhale. But I know what these weapons can do and I can't. I just can't.

As Michael passes the door's threshold, I give her a hard shove forward and lock the door before she can recover. She looks back at me through the small window of glass with an expression that can only be described as absolute despair.

"Alina, no! No, no, no! You can't do this! Please! There has to be another way!" Her voice cracks.

I try to smile, "We both know that there's not…you need to go, my friend. It's going to be okay, Michael, but I need you to let me do this."

She bangs her fist against the glass but it doesn't so much as budge. Tears are streaming down both our cheeks.

"Alina, Michael, what's going on?"

Again, his voice is a cutting reminder of this action's cost.

"Alina has locked herself in the room! I can't get in! She's going to set off the self-destruct!"

That terrible silence returns and it's like I can feel the grief of my crew all the way from here.

"Alina-"

"There's no other way."

"Please-"

My words go almost inaudibly soft, "There is no other way."

"There has to be."

Despite everything, I smile because despite everything, I love Chris. I love his compassion, his determination, his loyalty, his curiosity, and all the things that make him incredible. His channel suddenly dissolves into a fury of orders and directives so I turn my thoughts back to Burnham. She's still standing before me, begging me to just open the damn door. I place my hand against the door and slowly move my hand into the Vulcan salute.

"Live long and prosper, Michael Burnham. You deserve it."

She looks away for a moment in pain, shaking her head like she can't bear to say goodbye, before turning back to me. With a violently shaking hand, Michael moves into the salute against the glass. Our eyes meet and we share a tight, watery smile.

"Goodbye, Michael. You better look after our crew, otherwise you're gonna have to answer to me. Now…it's time to go."

"I'll see you on the other side, Osborne."

I nod but don't withdraw my hand as she takes that first step backwards, still staring at me. It's not until Michael turns around to run that I step away from the door. The green pulsating light of the button looms on the edge of my vision. Before I can consider, before I can flee, I take three steps and slam my hand down. A screeching alarm and countdown that gives me 60 seconds left to live tells me all I need to know. I close my eyes. I had never thought it would be like this but then again, I don't think anyone ever does. The battering against the door is even louder now but I can almost taste their desperation and fear. I'm certain their senses of self-preservation will take over soon.

"Alina, don't do this!"

He's really making this more difficult than it needs to be. It would be so much easier to give in without the memory of his skin on mine pushing at the edge of my consciousness. What I would give to kiss him one last time.

"I'm doing what I need to do," I sound so, so weary.

"Please, we're working on it. We'll find another way to destroy the weapons." He's trying to sweeten his voice, to convince me that I can leave. The asshole.

I let out a breathy chuckle, "Let's be honest, Burnham and I would never have been here if there was another way."

The quiet curse confirms my point.

I allow a softness into my tone, "Chris…it's just too important let this one go. One life for the millions it will save…I'd say that's a pretty good deal."

"But it's you! It's your life!"

"This is my choice, not your's-" I pause for a moment, the irony almost painful-"That's what you didn't understand…I would never make you choose."

He doesn't say anything but I can picture him, his head in his hands and trying to think of some brilliant last-minute scheme. The thought is a small comfort. The metallic pounding has also stopped, which is a relief. However, the shrill alarm continues grow and fade in time with my breath.

There's still so much I need to say but can't or won't find the words. So I say all that I can say.

"It's been my honour to serve by your side. I couldn't have asked for a better crew or captain-" I take a second to compose myself and keep the sobs back-"It's going to be ok, I promise. After all, part of the journey is the end."

'30 seconds' flashes before me and I finally let the tears fall because I don't want to die, not by any measure. I whisper a prayer; for something after, for peace, for their comfort (maybe a little bit for salvation).

"Alina, I won't try and convince you but please…When the countdown goes off, run like absolute hell. It's a shot in the dark but it's a chance…we'll find you."

I let out a watery laugh because Chris' voice is steady for my sake and hopeful because he's a good man.

"Will do, Captain."

I watch the numbers plunge, quicker and quicker as each passes. I am more afraid than I can comprehend.

"I will find you."

My vision blurs as I fail to choke back a sob. I would truly give anything just to have him here, holding my hand, as the world ends.

"Thank you for everything, Chris…one day, in another life, we will meet again…I look forward to it."

His response is swallowed by adrenaline as the final numbers tick down.

4…

I unlock the door from the panel in front of me.

3…

I steady my feet on the floor to the gentle whoosh of the door opening.

2…

I turn towards the ever-so-distant sky.

1…

I allow myself a deep breath before the sky falls.

Self-destruct detonated.

I'm off like a shot. As I run fear rises in my throat that the sequence hasn't worked, that I have to turn back, but a quiver beneath me kills that dread only to replace it with another. An almost inaudible rumbling resonates through my chest in a deep hum that is only comparable to the moment before a tsunami comes crashing down. I just keep going and going and going, ignoring the chunks falling around me and the shouts through my intercom. The world is shaking itself apart and the tunnel is crumbling into increasingly large pieces. I'm beginning to have to dodge the rocks strewn across my path and plummeting from above. I can't taste fresh air or see sunlight and I have no idea how far I am from the surface, but I will not stop. I will run until there's no more road. However, my stride is starting to lag as my adrenaline runs dry and the growing number of gashes on my limbs saps my strength. I keep pushing onwards and upwards until I see something in the distance. It might just be the tunnel levelling out, or it could be an especially bright artificial light but it could be-

CRACK

It's almost funny that hope can be killed as quickly as it can bloom.

The glance I spare upwards reveals lightning-like ruptures growing across the ceiling in front of me. I gather everything I have left, every love and dream and miracle, to propel me forward. My feet barely even touch the ground, I'm running faster than I ever have. I'm getting closer and closer as the fissures continue to hiss and disintegrate. I c-

Something heavy and sharp hits me directly on the forehead and I come tumbling down like I'm nothing more than clay. For a moment, I am nothing. I am nebulous with pain and the great, waiting black. Then I'm awake again, and painful solid rain is pelting down, and my skin is slick with something that smells like metal. I try and rise but the storm keeps pushing me deeper into the ground. The roar of the earth is in my bones and it hurts like fury. Someone is shouting or screaming but I'm not sure if it's me because I know I'm not alone. But who's with me, again? The answer is waiting just beyond my thoughts and I scramble for it as the world becomes aching lead pressing down on me. There are people waiting for me. I can almost see their faces, a sea of smiling, beautiful faces centred around one in particular. They are familiar yet foreign and I am crying because I miss them even though I don't know they are or where I'm going. Who-

My crew.

Of course. Of course.

Somehow, in spite of the crushing weight on every inch of my body, this little memory is an absolute solace.

My crew.

Somehow, I know that even though this is the end, it's okay. I needed to leave them behind, I just can't remember why.

My crew.

Somehow, I know my crew is with me and that's enough. With my fragile shred of peace, I let the waiting dark wash over me.

[armada-of-ships-against-antis]

Gush about some of your favorite ships please

Sorry for the long wait, but I think I might be ready for this now. (and before anybody wonders, of course it is in the middle of the night and I should go to bed now! Cause it’s the best time to gush over your ships!)

Okay lets begin with Spirk - man I was raised being a Trekkie and to be honest I never saw the great appeal of Kirk, cause my fucking younger than 10 year old heart already belonged to that vulcan! And I bailed my eyes out when he died! But after Kirk and the crew did everything to bring him back, I was like: Okay Kirk is a good one, okay! Nobody will ever be able to seperate them, only over my dead body. Back then it was more about the friendship but I’ll be dammned if I didn’t become a Spirk shipper some 10 years later when rewatching it. But why stop there, get Bones into the fun, too! Try to provoke that human side of Spock, trigger some unlogical feelings, try to beat him in 3d chess!

Okay bear with me there are three other Star Trek ships I wanna gush about!  I pretty much watched the series in the order they came out, so next was TNG that I saw, and although I loved data to every bit and byte of his android being, I was at a loss for a love interest for him. Okay there is always Geordie I guess or Picard, but TNG never hold a deep appeal for me in that field. So on to DS9. When I saw it as a kid, is was boring shit with all that politics and religion. I was around 18 when I rewatched and then in only the fourth episode I became suddenly aware of how motherfucking much Garak flirted with Julian Bashir! And I fell so deeply in love for their weird dynamic of a young and easily impressible human doctor with a mysterious cardassian spy tailor. I ran around showing scenes with them to people who were not shippers and they agreed, that there was tension. And right there was my first time finding background informations about my ship. It was there! I didn’t just interpret too much!  Andrew Robinson, the actor said himself he thought of Elim Garak as an omnisexual character who had a certain interest in Julian. It was absolutely mindblowing to me (also I started to google what omnisexual meant and found about pansexuality, so this is kinda part of finding my own identity, thanks to the closeted representation of a queer alien in sci-fi show from the 90s)

Okay two more and I’m done with Star Trek. But both are from Voyager. Throughout the series I loved the chemistry between Janeway and Chakotay. The slightly forbidden, the pressure, the loneliness of being captain of a ship so far away she probably would never see her husband again. Tragic shit and so perfect set up.  And then came Seven of Nine and manged to shake things up. Suddenly I was a multi shipper, because I couldn’t decide if she or Chakotay should be with Kathryn. The one was loving, supporting and the other was awkward, learning new things about finding humanity again. One was frowned upon because of their ranks and the other because Seven was still more borg than human in how she behaved. So pretty cold, while also confused a ton of times and Janeway ALWAYS had the time and nerves to explain it to her. Just like the doctor (who speaking between us is also a solid shipping option for Seven!)

Damn I tricked you by forgetting myself, that I did develop a shipping crush on Q x Picard. Damn have you ever seen those two interacting. The cockiness in the room, the mocking tone, the resistance. Have you seen those scenes you could perfectly take out of context and already have a “morning after sex” scenario?

Good now let’s take a deep breath and come to the Harry Potter fandom. Or in my case Severus Snape’s playground to be shipped to literally everybody! If it had Snape in it, I would read Everything during that time. Snarry was my most favourite, followed by Snape x Lucius, Remus, Sirius. But I also was looking into x Hermione, Draco, Lily, James, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Ron, Neville (Oh what a small and angsty ship), Bellatrix, Voldemort, Narcissa, Tonks, hell I even read one with Hagrid! (Okay I admit I didn’t enjoy that). Snape was my shipping bitch. Beside that I was of course loving Sirius x Remus.

Okay we move a tiny bit backwards in my life timeline, because before I started to excessively ship my ship bitch with everybody that was breathing, I had a rare ship in Final Fantasy (VII to be more precisely). Hojo x Vincent. You know just your ordinary crazy, mentally instable old (as in probably 60 years old) mad scientist having his way with a young agent from a special task force who canonly had a love interest in his wife… yeah. You know the totally normal stuff you ship every day!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

I mean I also had the regular Cloud x Sephiroth, Cid x Vincent, Cloud x Tifa, Tifa x Aeris, Reno x Rude or Rufus and so on, but hell yeah I wrote one of my longest fanfictions with most of my OCs for Hojo and Vincent and someone commented on it. That person became my fucking best friend for now over 13 years who went with me through so much shit but is still my shipping partner in crime till now.

Together we discovered the movie Megamind and watched it more than 10 times in one week! We were so instantly on board with Megamind x Roxanne that it nearly hurt. And when we started an rpg, we shipped the fuck out of them, gave Minion a mermaid to love and that was the most perfect and sweet shit. They are just adorable! He’s such a goofball, sick with love only hold back because of his supervillain image.

I also met my second girlfriend via fanfiction comment. I had written a smut one shot about Tarrant Hightopp, the mad Hatter with ‘his’ Alice. That was also the first one I attempted to translate into English. When we met for the first time, we also watched Alice in Wonderland around 10 times together and we were in love with the lovely dynamic. We were frustrated when we found out, there was even a kiss in the script that never made it to the fucking screen! It was outrageous! I started to learn how to write a scottish accent and strew in some scottish words in our rpg to make it more authentic.

(And after that I managed to pull her into the pit of the Harry Potter fandom, hell I even pulled her into the pit of shipping mlm which she didn’t like until Snupin. But our main ship was suddenly Snape with her OC and we wrote a lot. Like between 2-8k word for one single post in our rpg! In the end we had enough to fill two books. We did even cosplay as them.)

Let’s get back to the Final Fantasy fandom a bit and let me gush over the other ships I had over the years. I’m still a huge Squall x Quistis shipper from part 8 and Laguna x Kiros! I also have an eye on Cifer x Fu-Jin (hah one eye, cause she has a an eyepatch, urgh I know that was a bad joke). And while I started as a big Auron x Tidus shipper, it shifted more to Auron x Rikku. I shipped them when I was about 15 (her age) and I thought I wasn’t allowed to do that, so I made a whole fucking AU where she was older and it developed into a totally original story of my own, which I have never ever written down even one page). With X-2 I satisfied myself with Paine x Rikku, they were such cute opposites of each other, I couldn’t resist! Only some years ago I played FF 15 and damn it was a shipping paradise again for me. Like all of the four protagonists are a match for each other! And then Ardyn appeared and made me weak in the knees. So Ardyn x Noctis but also just because those the truly most favorite characters: Ardyn x Ignis. Not exactly the fluffy happy stuff, I can tell you that. Manipulation, angst, abuse it had it all.

I can’t talk about Final Fantasy and leave Kingdom Hearts out, so yeah I started as a typical Sora x Riku (not Rikku from FF 10) fangirl and with part 2 I also feel for Axel x Roxas. I know, I know but at least with Organisation 13 you had a whole bunch of shippable characters. Just make one or two of them your shipping bitch, in my case Xemnas and Xigbar and ship the shit out those guys with everybody you can think of in the organisation.

And when we are already talking about Kingdom Hearts, I just jump into Disney a bit. Like every girls dream was to find their prince, ect and I was like: yeah Mulan and Shan Yu seem to fit nicely… Frollo is a fucking ass creep, but damn that scene in the cathedral when he sniffs Esmeraldas hair… Jasemine you look good in that red slave outfit for Jafar to be honest and dear Adam, you should have stayed a beast for Belle. Happy ruining your childhood. You’re welcome. :D Not that I shiped those during seeing those movies the first time, but you know I rewatch stuff!

Good okay let’s check the watch… good 1 hour later…. I’m not gonna finish this any time soon…. I’m sorry. I just tried to make a list of ships that seem important to me and I would probably write another hour or two. I just hope this satisfies you for the moment ;)

If you or anybody else wants to hear about more video game, movies or series ships and me writing an essay about that shit… feel free to ask I guess LMAO

Good Night dear people (or maybe not I see 15 messages on my dash)

[countthelions]

Tell me more, tell me more, about those Star Trek OCs Are 2 human and 1 Vulcan? What are their divisions? What type of ship do they fly? and what TV captain do they most identify with?

hiii did you know you're a gift my friend, because you are. 

Yus, they're two humans and a vulcan, existing on a ship together in a beautiful trifecta of energy. I stuck a bit with the original trifecta grouping: leader, medical and science??? at least where they could cover the ship's needs and I could tell stories from different perspectives lol. Asier started as a science division, Eira is engineering and Lamb is medical. 

their ship is uhhh, idk in the OST era??, so one of their nice Enterprise style ships?? I imagine the Enterprise logs are fascinating for the group to read 'cause that ship is Out Exploring the far reaches, whereas the Hephaestus is closer to their home in the galaxy. 

Lamb is a fun mix to the duo as well 'cause she's serious and tells it how it is so she talks with Asier and it's just DRY WIT everywhere and Eira is Suffering as the only one with a soul apparently. But Eira would (and has) throw down for anyone who treats Asier poorly for being a Vulcan captain, knowing just how much her friend cares. 

I think after the mission where Asier ends up captain, she aggressively cares for her crew??? and people know Vulcans have a careful lid balanced on their emotions but Asier was barely chief science officer before she inherited the entire ship and its remaining crew. And people know how important life is to a Vulcan, coming from a planet of dust and few days of rainfall. So it became the logical step to preserve all of their lives with all of her Being.

uhH it terms of TV captains, maybe Janeway??? Janeway is  Tough, she loves her crew and wants desperately to get back. But she's fair too yknow?? Asier loves her crew, loves their commitment to exploration (as a science NERD she gets excited when they find new planets and no one comments on how she like, almost smiles and moves Faster which is already hilarious because Asier is Tall and Fast so like, good luck catching up to this excited vulcan my friends) and just like, loves them all lots.

Eira hosts Lamb and Asier in her room often, as she has the best couches and Lamb brings her soft heirloom blankets and Asier brings vulcan tea and they all sprawl out and chill. Eira is the only one who can lean against Asier without being pushed off or subtly stared at with disgust. They've known each other for like, fuck, 15 years??? and can finish each others sentences if they're not careful.

I wanna say like, canon-wise, we're in the Hephaestus' fifth year in space since its first year and subsequence attack that switched around the entire crew?? they've explored, had some time off on random fun planets, and it's a good time

thank you ;; so much for wanting to know about them??

[bunny-wan-kenobi]

Bunny Fic Recs: The Top Ten Strikes Back!

My friends think my fanfic-reading habits are hilarious and bizarre--and I tend to agree. I read stories in very distinct and obsessive phases, like if I’m in a Star Trek phase I literally cannot bring myself to read a story from a different fandom. Can’t do it--that’s just how it is. My fic-craving phases (there’s no way to put this that won’t make it sound like a drug habit) can be as short as 2 weeks (sorry @ginny-of-course) and as long as 5 months (aka my last Star Wars phase). 

This means any fic rec summary will reflect my fandom phases of that year, which is kind of a fun way to see all the twists and turns my journey took me and the characters I discovered (and rediscovered). So, in no particular order, here’s the top ten fanfics I read this year!

1. Bargaining by proantagonist (Thor): Faced with an eternity without his brother, Loki strikes a bargain to change the past. Post TDW. (Complete) 

This story is AMAZING. Not only does it contain some of the best characterizations of Thor, Loki, and Odin that I’ve read, it deftly examines their relationships in all their complexity and contradictions. The relationship between Thor and Loki is captured beautifully and simultaneously heartwarming and tragic. The way Loki grows over time and learns trial by trial is especially rewarding so that every big choice he makes had me fist-pumping in pride because the story builds up these twists so well. Every single detail matters, and this story gave me so many things I never knew I wanted from a Thor story. I thought I had the fic figured out, and then the ending completely shocked me in the best possible way. I cried so many times reading this story, and its insight into Loki’s headspace and the dysfunction of family relationships is remarkable. 

2. too wise to peaceable woo by theMightyPen (LOTR): Most marriages in Gondor are matters of convenience, especially among the nobility. But Dol Amroth is a different sort of place, with a different sort of royal family. Sometimes, Lothiriel is not convinced this is a good thing.(or, how in Middle Earth the too southern, too dark, too outspoken daughter of Imrahil ended up married to Éomer, son of Éomund) (WIP)

I could write an essay about everything I love about this story. Not only does it make a compelling, lovable heroine out of a character I had not given much to previously (Lothiriel), but it tackles race, class, and inter-cultural issues in Middle Earth with incredible nuance and emotional depth. The slow-burn love story at its center is developed organically and complements the exploration of family and friend relationships and world-building for Rohan culture. I appreciate so many intentional elements--like the friendship between Eowyn and Lothiriel, the complex politics of countries still recovering from war, and a woman of color coming into her own as a leader. The Rohan the author paints is a breathing place vivid in detail, and even the OCs are easy to love and root for. A truly wonderful love story woven into an intricate cultural landscape, this fic puts me on the edge of my seat waiting for updates. 

3. The Gentlest Schism by SanwichesYumYum (GOT): Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth. The war is over. Some of them hadn’t thought that they would outlive it. And yet... (WIP but ends at a satisfactory point)

This is a rare story that goes against your expectations and makes you linger in the disappointments and losses along with the characters. The premise is heartbreaking, and becomes even more tragic as you keep reading, but at the same time, it’s a beautiful testament to the resilience of love and the importance of family. I love the community the author cultivates on Tarth, the unexpected characters they weave in, and how this little island becomes an entire functional and complex world of its own. The second half of the fic gets a little repetitive occasionally and there is some explicit content, but it’s a really compelling read and one of my favorite Jaime/Brienne stories. 

4. The Days and Steps series by CatKing_Catkin (Thor): Even after everything, Thor holds out hope that his brother can be redeemed. Now that he's away from the Chitauri, his mind is fully his own again. Not that he's home, even as a prisoner, maybe he can start to remember what it's like to have a family and a place to belong. Maybe he can even come to truly understand the other worlds as something other than a conqueror. (Complete)

After reading the last story in this series, I wept like a baby. These stories trace Loki’s excruciatingly slow healing process in such a realistic and moving way that the ending feels so, so earned. Again, it’s the family dynamics that shine here, in particular, a family actually processing and dealing with the ways they’ve hurt each other and the mistakes they’ve made. The realizations strike deep and the characterizations are rich so you become fully invested in this family’s journey. 

5. Captains and Pawns by sian22 (LOTR):  "The board is set and the pieces are moving." So Gandalf said, but what unseen hand made them move? How far back did the game start and with what unexpected results? The Lords of Gondor and Rohan find Saruman will use them for his own end and both the Steward's sons and Rohan's Prince and Lady must find their way. A tale from Faramir's birth until the fateful kiss. (Complete)

If you’re a Faramir fan, this story is for you. It’s a fascinating character-driven story that fleshes out a lot of the subtext in the events before and during the War of the Ring. It moves the narrative from Gondor to Rohan and we follow Faramir, Eowyn, and Eomer from childhood to adulthood, reminding us of the cost of war and also deepening your love for these characters. 

6. Ad Infinitum by Stormontheocean (Dragon Age): After a bus accident, Liz wakes up in Haven, stuck in the fictional world of Dragon Age. How does a modern girl get by when she can't speak the language, and her expansive knowledge of the Blight and Kirkwall, but limited knowledge of Inquisition would only make her look more suspicious? Fake being deaf and mute, and hope not to get caught before she can find proof of her origin. But the best laid plans never work out as expected... (WIP)

Okay, I’m usually wary of self-insert fics, but this one put ALL my doubts to rest. It works. It really does, and it manages to make the OC main character (the stumbling block of many a writer) a completely three-dimensional and lovable addition to an existing universe. The first big plot turn of the story made me so unbelievably gleeful and excited that I won’t spoil it here but let me say--the story does not turn out in the way you expect. Even the slow-burn romance is believably developed, and this story cemented my love for Bull’s Chargers. A stand-out AU fic that is just plain enjoyable to read. 

7. Jacob and Esau Say Their Goodbyes by LadyCharity (Thor): After Svartalfheim, Loki is still alive. In the end, it changes nothing.In which Thor hurts, Loki loves, and Jane learns how to lie. (Complete) 

Let me emphasize that this was a near-impossible choice to make. I love every single one of LadyCharity’s Thor fics, but I decided to go with the one I think excels at every level. It’s emotionally devastating, poignant, and with brilliant characterization. I appreciate how succinct, poetic, and introspective the author’s prose is, and she just gets these characters and their relationships. Shout-out for her great development for Jane as well, who all too often gets overlooked in fanfic. 

8. A Wreath of Thorns by LadyNormaOfTheWesterlands (GOT): In the aftermath of the Battle of the Bastards and the destruction of the Great Sept in King's Landing, new allegiances are forged and family ties will be tested, as two Queens dance around a blood-dripping throne and a new King rises in the North. The day of reckoning is getting closer, for princes and commoners, for friend and foe, while cold winds bring the longest of winters, and, with it, an enemy who doesn't respond to honour, nor love. Post-Season 6. (WIP)

There’s a lot to love in this understated story, which captures the POV of multiple GOT characters as events hurtle towards an inevitable culmination. It’s an introspective story, almost meditative in nature, and everyone is perfectly IC. It’s tragic, inspiring, and ultimately a great tribute to these characters. 

9. The Native by StarTrekFanWriter (Star Trek): The relationship that started it all - Sarek/Amanda. How a logical guy like Sarek fell for a human, and why he would defy his people to marry her. Sybock & Spock will be featured. (Complete)

The beginning of 2017 was my introduction to Sarek/Amanda fic, and this was one of the standouts. I’m a sucker for stories that navigate the cultural differences, tensions, and development of interracial relationships, and this one does a great job immersing you in Vulcan culture. Amanda is also a really wonderful character, strong, empathetic, intelligent and you can definitely see why she and Sarek are so well-matched. 

10. The Abduction of Eomer, King of Rohan and House of Sun by  Lialathuveri (LOTR) (Complete)

Okay I kinda cheated here but I honestly could not choose between these. I like them for completely different reasons: The first fic is a hilarious series of misadventures that bring Lothiriel and Eomer together and the second is a much more serious development of a love story after an arranged marriage. The world-building in both stories is well-realized, and Lothiriel is simply a delightful character that I will read in ANY iteration. 

More Bunny Fic Recs:

My Top 10

The Next Top 10

Game of Thrones

Merlin

Makorra

LOTR/The Hobbit

Captain Swan

Star Wars: Romance One-shots

Star Wars: Gen One-shots

Star Wars: PT Multi-Chapter Fics

Star Wars: OT Multi-Chapter Fics

[bluesakura007]

What She Had to Do - Chapter 7: What Happens Now - Khan Noonien Singh x OC

Summary: It’s the final chapter of What She Had to Do. Zinalya’s crewmates and family receive a pre-recorded goodbye message, and she and the person she loves are finally free to sail off into the sunset. 

Warnings: Ever so slight angst and mentions of alcohol abuse, but it’s mostly fluffy. 

"Captain Kirk, commander Spock." Admiral Fletcher greeted the two newcomers who’d just been beamed down to Sierra-Lambda 3’s front gates, a day onwards from Zinalya’s successfully engineered plan to awaken and aid the escape of Khan.

"Admiral." Replied this captain courteously as he and Fletcher shook hands, the latter then doing the same with the first officer. Both he and his captain were wearing their on-duty Enterprise uniforms, having been contacted early that morning by the admiral about this breakout of the man sentenced to cryosleep those two years ago, along with the vanishing of the seventy-two other Augments who were still currently sleeping in their own tubes.

"I wish I could be talking to you under better circumstances, but this is all we’ve got so I guess we’re gonna have to do the best we can." Said Fletcher, before beginning his explanation of the events which had unfolded the previous day. "I’m told that somebody’s coming to carry out a transfer order of a batch of torpedoes kept here to Starfleet Headquarters, and then the next thing I know a couple of hours later I’ve got a phaser pointed at my head. When I woke up a few hours later, the cryotubes we’ve also been keeping an eye on here since two years ago had gone. Vanished into thin air."

"Every cryotube, sir?" Spock queried, somewhat amazed that such a feat was successfully accomplished. Sierra-Lambda 3 was one of the most secure Earth Starfleet facilities you could think of.

"Yep, every damn one." The older man in front of the pair of officers from the Enterprise replied, nodding his head in confirmation. "Except for one. The one containing the very man you went up against those same two years ago."

"Khan." Said Kirk, his voice dropping a notch or two in both pitch and volume at this name.

"What could one hope to achieve by taking all seventy-two of the other Augments only to leave behind him in particular?" The half Vulcan put forward another question.

"Khan wasn’t left behind, commander. He was woken up and took part in the escape that happened next - he’s the reason behind why some of my men are being treated for broken arms right now."

"Whoever did it knew the facility and managed to get in with that fake transport order, so it’s a foregone conclusion that they must’ve been a Starfleet officer." Jim reasoned, him and Spock both beginning to get a tiny feeling deep down in their guts, although they wasn’t consciously aware of this feeling’s presence yet, that who they were thinking was responsible for this might turn out to be the true perpetrator.

They could, after all, think of only one person off the top of their heads who’d resort to doing this to break out the jet black-haired man from his sentenced slumber. "And they must’ve had advanced combat knowledge and experience to get past all your guards, even with his help."

"You’re right for both, captain. That’s why I’ve called you two down here and why the Enterprise specifically is involved: what do you know personally about a certain security chief by the name of commander Zinalya Hamilton?"

Spock and Kirk both exchanged looks with each other of their newfound knowledge that what they’d been subconsciously suspecting was indeed true.

"We don’t really know her personally as well as Mr. Scott and ensign Chekov do because the three of them have been friends for a while, but after Khan was brought here for his cryosleep sentence she was hit pretty hard by it." The Enterprise leader told him a few seconds later as the three of them entered into the front entrance of the facility alongside each other.

"She held a great deal of affection towards him." Added Spock, remembering the emotion of concern evoked inside his mind whenever he would hear about another of Zin's drunken nights which sometimes involved outings by herself through the city of San Francisco, to later be found by one of the others and talked to. "And she developed a reliance on beverages with a high level of alcohol content in order to assuage the sadness she felt in his absence."

"Yeah. She told me about the stuff she'd been through before she came here." Said Fletcher, the trio coming to a stop off at the side in this entrance, a few scientists and guards walking past them in a more hurried manner compared to yesterday, which was probably because of them having to check that everything else there was fine and to find out whether anything else was taken. "She said she ended up having to depend on what's at the bottom of a glass to get over her troubles even for just a couple of days, and said she used to try and fool herself that maybe he'd just come back on his own and walk in through the door if she waited long enough. Apparently she was thinking about everything that could've been and going over hypotheticals for a while, and said she felt justified enough from that to come and take him and the others." The way he said this last part of his sentence gave off a sense of someone looking down their nose at another person, prompting Spock and Jim to experience another recollection of their worry for her.

"Did commander Hamilton have any assistance from any other individuals outside of Sierra-Lambda 3?" Asked Spock.

"We don’t know - if she did then we’ve got no idea who it was. We think the programmed chip she used to disable our security systems might’ve been given to her by somebody else, but we can’t be sure who specifically or whether that’s even the case to begin with."

"And they got past every in-person security measure?" As he asked this question, Kirk’s eyebrows raised themselves by a few degrees, not quite sure whether or not it’d be morally incorrect for him to be impressed.

Fletcher nodded again. "The guards were armed with higher-powered phasers and the research personnel and doctors had hypos full of anaesthetic powerful enough to drop half a dozen horses at their disposal, and they still got away." His lips tightened slightly in irritation. "One of them, Baxter’s her name, said she tried to take him down with one but she got the commander instead, and some of the others told me they saw him carrying her away afterwards like a damsel in distress. Because she’s not a superman like him, she’ll sleep for a while, around a few days."

With Spock also thinking the same thing, the captain mentally realised that Zinalya must have taken that accidental sedation to stop it from happening to Khan instead: in combat situations she didn’t tend to get caught by the enemy easily, doubled with the fact that she had a big heart and they all knew how much she cared for him. If she had the chance to stop it, she wouldn’t have just let him be captured like that. "So what happens now, sir?" This same captain asked after a silent moment which took up this realisation. "What do you want the Enterprise to do?"

"Well, I’ve sent word out to the rest of Starfleet command and they’re considering going after them." Responded the admiral. "There’s no warp signature around Earth that matches up with the time soon after they beamed out, so they must’ve covered up that signature and ran for the hills, but they’ve decided the Enterprise is the Federation’s best bet for starting the search because of it being the fleet’s most advanced ship and because you and your crew worked with her, so you’ll have the best chance at getting her to come quietly. Especially ensign Chekov and Mr. Scott, being friends of hers like you said."

"What about Khan?"

"They’ve said you can use any means necessary to bring him back here so we can put him back into stasis, as long as he comes back in one piece, and once Miss Hamilton’s brought back to Earth they can hold a tribunal to decide on what her own sentence is gonna be; they think it’ll be something like a few years in prison. But they’ve told me they don’t have to go ahead with beginning the hunt so as to say if you turn it down." Despite this final sentence taking the pair by mild surprise, they continued listening as he explained this further. "Because of that fact that you’re her colleagues, they’re gonna let you guys have the final say: it’s up to you whether the search for her and our good old pal Mr. Singh goes ahead, so you’ve got a couple of days to decide but I don’t suggest taking too long on that."

"He said it’s up to us?" Sulu addressed Kirk and Spock for clarification that what he’d just heart was correct, him and the other senior officers including Carol all standing together as a group in a meeting room onboard this ship of theirs.

"That is correct, Mr. Sulu." The latter confirmed. "The matter of whether the Federation begins the search for commander Hamilton and Khan is ultimately of our own choosing."

"They could be anywhere by now; how the hell are we gonna find them anyway?" Said Bones, adding to the conversation.

"Admiral Fletcher told us that we would have several other ships assisting us, allowing us to cover a wider area outside of Federation space."

"Poor Zinalya." Pavel, from a few feet away next to Scotty, commented in addition. "She felt so lost without him that she was pushed into doing this in the end."

"Aye, he did mean a lot to her. I can’t say I’ve ever seen anyone else change as drastically as her after Khan was gone." This engineer with him spoke his own mind out loud in agreement with what had just been said. He and the young ensign both often worried for her the most especially, as they were just as grateful for having a friend like her in their lives as she was for their presence in hers. It’s a universal concept that friends always look out for each other no matter what.

"And the look in her eyes when she talked to me about it all one night - it wasn’t just infatuation, what she felt towards him was definitely genuine. Nothing about that look was superficial." Said Carol, remembering this particular night she was referring to. "She must’ve decided that the only way to properly solve her troubles was to go to the root of the problem itself and undo it."

"It makes you think about that length of how much he meant to her for her to go ahead with a plan like this." Said Pavel.

"Captain." Uhura suddenly spoke up, looking at the screen of the computer console off at one side of this meeting room which she was stood near to. "We’ve got an incoming message, from her."

"What, from Zinalya?" Asked Scotty.

"Yes sir."

"Can you pinpoint where it’s coming from?" Queried Kirk, him and the others gathering round as the lieutenant sat down in the seat in front of this console, setting to work at opening the message.

"I can’t, it looks like it was rigged by her at some point yesterday morning to be sent to us at this time; this same message has also just been sent to the address of her parents in Canada."

"It’s gotta be something personal if she’s included her parents in it too." Dr. McCoy vocalised his own current thoughts, before the communications officer opened the message, allowing the video file which was seemingly embedded in it to begin playing.

It appeared to be a pre-recorded message in this video form. Its creator and sender was perched on a bed, presumably the one located in her family's home in Manitoba based on the casual decor and windowsill ornaments behind her. Outside this window, which was on one side of the video frame and located behind her head, several trees and pieces of greenery here and there could be seen, along with a small portion of a light blue-grey sky.

This Zinalya in the pre-rec video quietly sighed for a moment, before she began to speak. "If you're watching this, then it means one of two things: either I did it and I've managed to get Khan out, and we're pretty far away by now, or the worst case scenario I could think of has happened and I'm locked up in a prison cell." She chuckled lightly to herself at this second possibility, most likely in an attempt to add even just a slight atmosphere of humour to a worrying thought.

"But whichever of those two has happened, I guess I owe you an explanation. For a while, as you might know already, I've been struggling a lot with coming to terms with the fact that he's gone, and I have a little beer and vodka problem sometimes because of that." She continued, her now former cremates still watching and not daring to tear their eyes away or to speak yet. "And that's not right, basically. No matter what happened that led to all this, this sentence he'd got... it's not justice." Zin took another brief moment to pause before she launched into her main point. "No one should have to live with having the person who they find out they love taken away from them forever. Him being medically knocked out and kept knocked out indefinitely in the name of a punishment to control him is a half life, if you can even call it life in the first place - it's just death with a pulse. That's all this time without him has been for me, too. A half life." 

She then seemed to be stuck for what exactly to say next, smiling to no one in particular for a couple of seconds as a result. "This whole business of getting my feelings out into words is harder than I thought... but I guess I'm gonna have to carry on and just do my best. I had high hopes, you guys. I felt scared and electrified with him both at the same time, and the way I couldn't stop thinking about him was all I needed to convince me that I had those kinds of feelings for him. I know by the end of the court trial and everything I'd known him for a total of a week, but a couple of times being around him was like I'd known him for years and years. As far as I can remember Khan was the only man I felt that strongly about in my life; I had plans, I can't remember a time when I haven't wanted to ultimately end up getting married someday to guy I love and maybe even have children later. When Khan was suddenly gone and sent to sleep in some science facility hangar by the Federation authorities, it was like those plans had been taken away with him." The already poignant look on her face grew a little bit in intensity.

"I tried getting my head back into the dating game after a while, see if I could find anyone else who could be Mr. Right, but that didn't work. None of them turned my head like he did. So that's when I decided, somewhere around a year ago, to do this. To wake him up again and get him back myself, I mean if the Federation won't let us go to a new home, I guess we're gonna have to go anyway. Worst case scenario as I've said is that I'll end up getting caught and thrown in jail for trying it, and even then it's a case of still having a warm bed and three meals a day. And I will have given it a try and gone down fighting." Another pause momentarily set in. "I digress, though. The main point behind why I'm recording this right now and why I'm going to set it to get sent out after I'm done is because I want to say goodbye - I'm not going to get into the stuff that happened in court and the decisions that were made, I'm just going to tell you guys that I'll miss you. Talking honestly, I don't know when or even if I'll ever see you again, but I love all of you, and I wouldn't have traded the years I've had with you for anything." Another smile appeared on her features. A smile that soon grew to be wider than those belonging to her previous chuckles so as to express her happiness, which seemed somewhat bittersweet at this moment due to this goodbye she had to make to her family and friends. "A new kind of adventure's waiting for me. So long, everyone."

And then the video ended.

For the next moment or two that followed, the crew still remained silent, and so did her brothers Enaar and Rajen Hamilton and their parents Mason Hamilton and Siazru Tebal, who had all just additionally watched this pre-recorded video message in the places where they were located on Earth.

"It seems that commander Hamilton chose to take any means necessary in her own goal." Spock was the first to break this silence in the meeting room.

"Well, I’m happy for her." Scotty then added, nodding his head and feeling relieved that he had visual closure to back up what had happened being his best friend’s choice that she alone made. Although he was sad that she was now gone, a small smile made an appearance on his face. "I know the way she did it might be a bit illegal, but I’m glad that lassie’s managed to ride away into the sunset with Khan. It means she gets to be happy again - truly happy."

"And by ‘a bit illegal’ you actually mean very illegal?" The helmsman asked jokingly.

"You get what I mean, Mr. Sulu." Chuckled the Scotsman in reply.

"I’m happy for her too; we still did our best and it still helped for at least a while, but there was only so much we could do to help her cope with what she was going through." Said Chekov. "In the end, undoing the fact which was causing that was the only way she could go back to fully feeling like herself, if that makes sense."

"Yeah, I get that." Bones said in response to the Russian with a nod of his own head. "I know I’m don’t normally take part in sappy crap, but I guess you’re right: her gettin’ Khan back and running away with him was the only way to get the old Zin back too. The old Zin who had that... I don’t know, some kind of twinkle in her eyes like every day was some kind of new adventure. Or else God only knows how long she’d still be going over not being able to see him or talk to him again."

"What should we do, sir? Should we go after them?" Uhura, turning around in the chair she was still sitting in, queried.

For a few seconds, their captain still didn’t speak. The inside of his mind was a battleground with all the thoughts, options and arguments in this matter at hand crashing around within their walls. He had a duty to Starfleet and to the Federation, to make sure that Khan, a convicted criminal, served the rest of his indefinite cryostasis sentence as ordered by his court tribunal those fateful two years prior and to also ensure that his now former security chief answered for her own crime of awakening and aiding the escape of said convicted criminal.

However, another duty that he simultaneously had along with this one was to her as one of his trusted crewmembers and companions. He didn’t want to trample on her freedoms and happiness or that possibility that she could be able to help Khan with becoming a better man in their exile together, as she’d said during the above-mentioned court case when asking for this ultimately declined exile. Admiral Fletcher had told him and Spock that whether the Federation fleet began searching for the couple was up to them. Jim looked around at the remaining members of his senior crew, ending with his gaze landing on Carol.

"No." His answer came. "If nobody has any objections, we’re going to not go out looking for them or send any other ships from the fleet to do the same. We’re just going to leave them alone and let them go."

"So that Miss Hamilton can be given a chance to amplify good traits within Khan." Spock, who seemed to have been thinking along the same lines, added. "Spoken like a true romantic." Nyota remarked, this being with a small edge of a lighthearted joke but with the soft, loving look deep within her eyes conveying one simple fact: she was glad that he’d managed to grasp the emotional side of the situation.

"I do, however, also agree with the point made by Dr. McCoy, ensign Chekov and Mr. Scott. This could be her only chance for reclaiming the joy she lost after he was sentenced."

"Even if we do end up probably not seeing her again, she’ll be alright - she’s a fighter." The CMO, deciding for now to not once again voice his opinion on his ongoing discomfort at the first officer’s concurrence with him, said.

"You’re right. I’m sure the two of them will be able to count on each other if they do face some form of threat in the future." Carol expressed her own agreement with this latest statement.

Realising the fact that all of these others around him were speaking the truth of the matter, Jim nodded, and slowly began to smile. "They’re gonna be alright."

"Do you think she’s going to be safe with him?" Mason Hamilton asked, he and his Trill wife still pondering on the possibility of them perhaps never seeing their daughter again due to her technically now being a fugitive.

"Of course she will. She chose this, and you and I both know she’s a smart woman, so she wouldn’t have made that decision if she hadn’t weighed everything up." Siazru replied reassuringly while sitting next to him on their living room sofa and putting her hand on his shoulder in the same manner.

"You are right there. You’re always right." He chuckled fondly, before looking out in front of him, staring into space while still maintaining his attention on his surroundings at the same time. "And I'd be a liar if I said I didn't still love her with every decision she makes." Siazru nodded, agreeing with this point of his.

"Can I ask you something...?" Meanwhile, the now twenty-seven lady of the moment put forward this question quietly in the darkness of the quarters onboard Iadras' ship that she and Khan were using until their arrival at Ceti Alpha V another two days on from then. She'd been told to just rest in bed until this arrival, in order to recover her energy back from the efforts of this Trill captain's medical officers to counteract the sedative from yesterday - anaesthetic intended for use on Augments and the physical enhancement of theirs that allowed them to be more resistant to sedation.

"Hm?" This baritone-voiced man laying with her in this bed responded. The lights were turned off due to it being late at night and the pair deciding as a result that they should get some sleep, so it took a few minutes but they were currently able to faintly make out each other's outlines in this darkness of the room.

"When you were in cryo, did you dream?"

"Are you referring to the most recent occasion, or to the previous instance which lasted over centuries?" Khan made his own query for further clarification.

"Either."

He thought for a moment or two. "I'm not entirely certain. Most of what you might call my dreams were no more than fleeting images and sounds, and even then it's impossible for me to fully recall every one of them."

"So it was like how people dream during normal sleeping? How people get a kind of feeling of déjà vu when they're trying to remember one but they can't actually remember anything?" Said Zinalya.

"I suppose it is. From what I can remember of my dreaming whilst I was in stasis on both occasions, the images I saw were mainly memories from my life, some of those experiences being good ones and some being less so, and I believe I have vague memories of seeing the sky in my dreams, as well." He gave his answer to the main question which had brought this conversation into being. "Both times after awakening again it was like my physical body and one half of my mind were saying it was only moments since I went into sleep, with the other half knowing that it had been a much longer time. But I think we should try to begin with the average method that applies to everyone."

"Yeah - agreed." She admitted to the current tiredness she was experiencing. "Goodnight, Khan."

He smiled in soundless bliss. "Goodnight, Zinalya."

The hybrid with the green eyes, burgundy hair and Trill spots dotted sparsely on the sides of her forehead and neck found herself returning this same expression as, with her having no objections to it, Khan once again gently pulled her closer towards his chest with his arms around the back of her shoulders.

[virtuoso-lol]

2020 LCS Pre-Split Team Power Rankings

Hello again! It’s time to once again waste my time trying to predict how these teams are going to do. This time we’re looking at NA’s League of Legends Championship Series, and placing all 10 teams in order from best to worst. I do have to put a disclaimer that I think most likely one of the teams in the top 6 are going to boom and completely flop to bottom 3. It could be any of them. Well, any of them besides TL - which perfectly leads into the number one position...

#1: TEAM LIQUID

Team Liquid have established themselves as the kings of NA, winning an unprecedented 4 splits in a row over the last 2 years. With very few and very calculated roster swaps being made, TL has made conscious controlled efforts to continue to improve the quality of their team despite being on top of the competition. Bringing back 4/5 of their championship winning roster from last year is no surprise to see, and should essentially guarantee them a top 3 finish. The introduction of Broxah to the team to replace Xmithie is a bit of a risk - Xmithie is known as an exceptionally smart player that can completely alter a team’s performance. However, Broxah is no slouch, and the long successful European jungler will surely will serve as a worthy replacement. Anything less than top 3 would be an absolute shock, and I don’t really see a world where they don’t finish top 2.

#2: TEAM SOLOMID

It’s finally time for TSM’s return to the top of the table. TSM fans caught a glimpse of what a successful TSM could look like in 2019 spring, but it all fell apart by summer, where they flopped early in playoffs to Clutch and once again in the worlds qualifier gauntlet. Much of TSM’s issues stemmed from two issues: Zven’s underperformance, and a lack of certainty in the jungle position. TSM found themselves in a scenario where they were rotating out 3 junglers that all gave similarly mediocre performances. Now that they’ve brought Dardoch back to the main stage in the jungle position, I feel much more confident in this team. TSM has never had a player quite as vocal and confident as Dardoch and I think this will benefit the team greatly. Additionally, replacing Zven and Smoothie with Kobbe and Biofrost seems like an upgrade overall. I would consider Biofrost a sidegrade to Smoothie in terms of individual skill, but because Smoothie didn’t synergize that well with Zven, it should be an upgrade. Kobbe just returned from a phenomenal European performance and worlds quarterfinals run, and looks to still be on top of his game. Of course, retaining Bjergsen and Brokenblade is a plus as well, as both of them looked quite good throughout all of 2019. I expect great things from this roster - let’s hope that it’s not another year of disappointment.

#3: COUNTER LOGIC GAMING

Right around here is where things start to get spicy. Places 3-6 are essentially guesses that depend on team synergy, because all of these teams have made several roster changes and have a lot of individual talent. In my opinion, CLG simply has the most individual talent out of these middle of the pack teams. Acquiring Crown is a phenomenal pickup for them, as he opens up more playstyles for the team than PoE did. Losing Biofrost is a shame, as he looked like the team’s star player last split, but getting Smoothie should be a more than suitable replacement, provided he can synergize well with Stixxay. Stixxay looked pretty good last split, although he had an unfortunate habit of choking at poor times, I still think he’s more than sufficient to compete on a top 3 team. Ruin looked fantastic for most of the split, but was often exposed by Huni in their gauntlet series against Clutch. Still, this doesn’t take away from the fact that Ruin has been performing far past expectations. To top it all off, I actually think that retaining Wiggily is the best thing CLG did over the off-season. He looks to be the next great NA jungler, and now that he has a year of experience under his belt, I expect him to do great things for CLG. I have, god forbid, a lot of faith in this roster to succeed and I expect them to finish 3rd.

#4: EVIL GENIUSES

I’m probably going to get a lot of flack for placing them so far up, but Evil Geniuses looks to have one of the best rosters with less question marks than other teams. Filling the slot left by Echo Fox after their organization collapsed, Evil Geniuses completely did away with the remains of that team and built a team from scratch. Acquiring Bang and Zeyzal gives them one of the most solid bot lanes in the league. Despite 100 Thieve’s struggle early in 2019, Bang looked consistently good. Zeyzal is also looking quite good, after making worlds semifinals in his rookie year, last year was not as impressive, but looked solid domestically. I expect more of the same from him this year. Jiizuke is also an interesting pickup, and I think he’s more than capable of handling most of the competition in NA. Of course, we can’t forget Svenskeren, who is probably the best individual jungler in NA. He absolutely dominated on C9 and I hope to see more of that from him on EG, however, he no longer has a player of LIcorice’s caliber in the top lane. EG elected to promote Kumo from academy to the main stage, which I see as a big risk. Maybe it will work out, but It’s difficult to tell whether or not he’s ready to compete with the likes of Impact, BrokenBlade, Huni, Licorice, and a lot of the stacked top lane talent in NA. This question mark in the top lane is what brings doubt to my mind for Evil Geniuses.

#5: 100 THIEVES

100 Thieves had by far the most fascinating off-season to me. Not only did they bring back 3 players from their worlds-qualifying lineup, but they also brought in Ryoma from OCE. Bringing back Ssumday, Meteos, and Cody Sun is a fantastic move for the org, as they are all top tier in their respective roles. Cody Sun is coming off a fantastic run to worlds, Meteos led Optic into playoffs almost singlehandedly (with some help from Crown) after earning a permanent starting position, and Ssumday is finally free from his academy prison where he looked far better than his competition. Ultimately, I have 2 concerns for 100 Thieves. One, Ryoma is a bit of a risk, as its near impossible to tell for sure how he will fare against the mid lane competition in NA, which is fairly stacked with prestigious imports. Using their import slot on an OCE player is a risk, but they clearly feel confident in his play and I look forward to his debut. The other issue is Stunt. He’s seen main stage play before, but has been playing in academy for most of his career and he’s never looked particularly exceptional, but maybe being paired with Cody Sun will unlock the potential that has kept him around for so long. I could see this team finishing anywhere from 6th to 3rd, but the unpredictability of Ryoma and Stunt lands them at 5th on my list.

#6: CLOUD9

I’m probably going to get some hate for this one, and it’s always a meme that C9 lost the offseason and then they always do super well, but I just don’t really feel the off-season changes. It would be a stretch to put them out of playoffs, but it’s certainly possible if one of the lower listed teams click very well. Licorice is still an absolute beast and by far the best native NA top laner, and Nisqy looks quite good but not quite on the level of competitors like Jensen, Bjergsen, Crown, and others. I do think that picking up Vulcan is one of the best roster moves made in the off-season, as he looked incredible on Clutch last year and was largely responsible for their worlds qualification. However, this is countered by losing Sven and promoting Blaber, and acquiring Zven from TSM. Svenskeren was the best jungler in the league last split and losing him is a big gut-punch for C9. Blaber is a good player, but I don’t think he’s good enough to outjungle players like Dardoch, Wiggily, Meteos, Sven, Xmithie, and Broxah. This puts him in the bottom half of NA junglers which worries me for the success of C9. Zven looked pretty terrible towards the end of TSM’s run last year which leads me to believe that he will continue to underperform, but if anyone is good at turning broken TSM players back into top tier competitors, it’s C9, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see them place as high as 3rd, but I think 6th-4th is more likely with how stacked NA is this year.

#7: DIGNITAS

Dignitas is filled with talent on its main and academy rosters. Keeping Huni is big - I would argue that 1.15 mil a year big. He’s capable of besting any top laner in NA and can net wins by himself sometimes - but, he can also lose them by himself at times. However, that coinflip usually lands in Huni’s favor. Having the Grig/Akaadian situation in the jungle is probably good for a mid tier team like Dignitas, and hopefully they figure out who they want to run early and commit to them for the year. Alternatively, with the amount of other talent on their academy teams, they have a lot of unique strategic possibilities. Froggen is always a great addition to a team, although his playstyle often feels one-dimensional. Having Damonte as a sub is great for DIG and opens up more playstyles if they want to utilize him as a sub. One of the more criticizable moves DIG made was picking up Aphromoo after his abysmal year on 100 Thieves. Aphro has looked completely lost for the last year, but if he can get back into form, it could be a big pickup. It’s also possible for DIG to promote Olleh and Damonte from academy to the main stage if Aphro/Froggen isn’t working out. To top it all off, they are fielding the ONLY rookie on a main LCS team in Johnsun as ADC. Johnsun has been hyped since he got scouted by TSM and I’m excited to see how he does, and I think pairing him with a veteran like Aphromoo is a good way to mature him into a top tier competitor. This team is honestly a giant coinflip and I could see it placing anywhere from 9th to 2nd, depending on different scenarios.

#8: FLYQUEST

The offseason Flyquest had is a bit lackluster in comparison to most of the other teams in the LCS. They kept Viper, Santorin, and WildTurtle, which I think was smart. Viper is young, native to NA, and has looked great since Flyquest brought him to the main team. He struggles against some of the top lane powerhouses in the region, but he has the ability to beat any of them. Santorin was on fire in spring, bringing Flyquest to the semifinals where they fell to the unstoppable Team Liquid, but he seemed to lose his way a bit in summer. I think he has what it takes to bring it back this split, but it’s possible he will flop once again. WildTurtle is such a historic player and has always looked quite good, so it’s no surprise to see him returning this year, especially since he’s become the face of the team. The changes that FLY made over the off-season are more perplexing. Firstly, getting rid of Pobelter made a lot of sense. He had a pretty terrible summer split and dragged the team down severely. However, I’m not sure if picking up PoE was the answer. He’s very very good at what he does, but he really only plays one playstyle. I still think it’s an upgrade, but it brings its own share of problems. Finally, they brought in Ignar to replace JayJ/Wadid from last year. Again, a definite upgrade, but the support competition in NA is quite good. Ignar looked pretty good on Schalke last year, so maybe he has what it takes to help turn Flyquest back into a playoffs team, but I’m not totally confident. It does feel strange to put them all the way down at 8th, and I wouldn’t be shocked to see them make playoffs, but I think the other teams have more going for them.

#9: IMMORTALS

In contrast to Flyquest, Immortals may have had the most fascinating off-season of any team in NA. Firstly, they came out swinging by snatching up Xmithie after Team Liquid released him. Xmithie has been a top tier jungler in NA for years, and is an NA resident, so this pickup is huge. However, the team around him is a total coinflip. Soaz just came off of a disastrous two splits on the Misfits “superteam” that completely failed, but he has a longer history of success than almost any NA player, so it’s possible for him to perform well. They also acquired Hakuho in the support role after Echo Fox exploded, which is a very solid pickup, as he’s been a quite successful native NA support, and he even looked good on that dumpsterfire of an Echo Fox roster in 2019. The other 2 members of the new Immortals squad seem to be high risk low reward. Bringing Eika to the mid lane is the first time he’s seen main squad play since ELEMENTS in EU 2016. He’s been bouncing around amateur teams since then, and has received little hype in that time. The entire 2016 Elements squad struggled a lot, but players like Froggen and Rekkles found ways to still look good, so maybe Eika can too, but I don’t think it’s too likely. However, Immortals must have seen something in him to make him worth signing for the main squad, so maybe he will be better than expected. Finally, they signed Altec back onto the LCS mainstage after his hiatus where he grinded soloqueue in Korea. I’m personally a big Altec fan, but I’m not sure how his time away from the stage will affect him. I hope that his bootcamp pays off and he looks just as solid as he did before. This team just has too many risks for me to feel confident putting them outside of bottom 4.

#10: GOLDEN GUARDIANS

The decisions Golden Guardians made over the off-season simply left me confused from start to finish. The only part I feel good about is keeping Hauntzer, who has continued to look pretty good even while GGS struggled. They also retained FBI, who takes up an import slot and really failed to impress me in his time on GGS last year, and is a big reason why I worry for other OCE imports. He simply couldn’t stack up against the bot lane competition in NA, which is one of the few roles that native NA players are good at. Golden Guardians’ roster moves only continue to get weirder. They signed GoldenGlue for the mid lane, which I’m convinced is only to great GG Greyson Gregory “GoldenGlue” Gilmer for a grand total of 7 Gs. He looked pretty good on C9A, and he is a native player, but I don’t see him outclassing any of the mid laners in NA except for maybe Eika or any OCE imports that flop. They also imported Closer from Turkey, where he looked quite good, but it’s difficult to tell if he will find the same success against NA competition. Finally, by far the most bizarre signing of the off-season, was Keith to support. He’s roleswapping from AD to support and we’ve literally never seen him play the role competitively, so he’s the most unpredictable player in the league, but my expectations of him are not high. If Golden Guardians places higher than 8th it will be a miracle, and several teams will have to collapse completely for that to happen.

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That should just about do it for the LCS 2020 Spring Split power rankings! Just like before, I’m more than open to asks or pms about any criticisms or questions you have about my rankings. NA felt more difficult than EU so I definitely wouldn’t be surprised to see a lot of these go differently than I expect! I plan on uploading a lot more content as the season goes on and expect some post-first-week over reactions after this weekend’s games end!