#maybe this makes up for yesterday's post

[quinns-shadowy-arts]

Feel My Heart Beat Against Your Palm

Day 5 of @steddielovemonth‘s Steddie Love Month Event!  Rating: T CW: Recreational Use of Drugs, Detailed Description of a Panic Attack, Detailed Description of a Nightmare.  Tags: Love Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Steve Harrington loves Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Loves Steve Harrington, Living with the Aftermath of Trauma, Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Recreational Use of Drugs, Robin is Really Trying to get Steve and Eddie Together.  WC: 2,198  Prompt:  Love is being seen and known; Submitted by @acasualcrossfade  

Eddie’s staying the night, as he does every Friday. They’ve started a tradition. Eddie, Robin, and sometimes Nancy, Johnathan, and Argyle go over to Steve’s every Friday to watch movies. They all take turns picking the movie. Tonight was sort of a group decision. Robin had spotted Labyrinth in the “New Releases” section of Family Video. The group would’ve gone to the theater to see it when it first came out, but they were all still recovering from Vecna. So they’ve only gotten to it now. 

Robin thought Labyrinth sounded weird enough to satisfy her taste, Jonathan and Argyle thought it sounded fun, Nancy didn’t really have anything to say for or against the movie, Eddie wanted to see the puppetry and fantastical world, and Steve liked that David Bowie was in it. It seems that Steve has taken a liking to David Bowie more than he usually does, if Eddie has anything to say about it. Compared to the usual argument that would’ve unfolded, it seems that Labyrinth was the perfect pick for the group. 

After the movie was over, everyone sorta hung around for a bit. After discussing what they liked about the movie and other general topics, Nancy left to drive Jonathan and Argyle home. Robin stayed to help clean up a bit; chatting with Steve and Eddie further. Then the phone rang. 

“Hello?” Robin had answered the phone after a silent stare off between the three of them.  She nodded her head, followed with a bundle of ‘yeah’s and ‘mhm’s. She hangs the phone back up and turns to the other two. 

“So… My parents want me back home.” Robin says while twisting the ring on her middle finger. 

“What, why?” Steve questions. Robin usually spent the night with Steve and Eddie after their movie nights. 

“Um, something has just… come up.” Robin says while staring into Steve’s soul. She raises her eyebrows at him, trying to telepathically convey something to him. Steve furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head. Eddie thinks he looks like a puppy dog. The thought makes something warm swirl in his belly. 

After a couple of minutes, Steve’s eyebrows shoot up in understanding. 

“Ohhhh, yeah ok. Here, let me walk you to the door.” Steve walks over to Robin. They walk to the door and hushed whispers spill after them. Eddie is nosy, always has been and probably always will be. He tries listening to them while mindlessly moving things around, trying to look like he’s busy and not eavesdropping on their conversation. But alas, they’re too far away for any words to be coherent enough for Eddie to understand. After a couple of minutes, Steve walks back into the room.  

“Robin’s riding her bike home, something came up.” Steve says, walking over to walk some of the collected trash into the kitchen. 

“Is everything ok?” Eddie asks, following after Steve. Steve stands with his back turned to Eddie,

“Yeah, her parents just need her for something” Steve responds, barely turning his head in Eddie’s direction while stuffing the empty plates and cans into the trash can.    

“Oh ok.” Eddie nods. Sure, Robin makes things fun and he loves her, but Eddie is definitely not too upset about being able to spend some alone time with Steve. 

After finishing up cleaning, Eddie turns to Steve with a mischievous smirk. He pulls a baggie with joints out of his pocket, 

“Hey, want to maybe light up with me?” Eddie raises his eyebrows at Steve, still holding his smirk. Steve smiles back, 

“Yeah, dude. Why the hell not” Steve walks over to Eddie and plucks the joint out of his hand. 

“Let’s go up to my room, yeah?” Steve asks while not looking back, knowing that Eddie is already following. 

Once they get up to Steve’s room, Steve pulls open his window and stands against the ledge. He starts patting his pockets, trying to find his lighter. He sticks the rolled paper into his mouth, using both hands to dig around in his pockets. Eddie walks over and strikes up his lighter. He cups the end of the joint while lighting the end. 

Eddie makes the stupid decision to look up, making direct eye contact with Steve. His eyes are absolutely devastating. The moon hits off of them, lighting them up. The chocolate brown of his eyes meld together with an earthy green and flecks of pure gold, creating an all encapturing sight. His eyes look like a mossy forest, deep and enchanting. 

“Thanks, man.” Steve says, breaking the moment. He pulls a deep breath in, holding the smoke in before exhaling back out, aiming the smoke through the open window. Eddie blinks away, looking back down to put his lighter back into his pocket. 

Steve passes the joint over to Eddie. Eddie grasps the joint in his fingers. Steve’s hand brushes against Eddie’s, his hand warm and solid.  An electric feeling passes through Eddie. He shivers before taking his own hit. 

They stay there for a while, sitting in a comfortable silence while passing the joint back and forth. They don’t technically need to share, Eddie has another joint in his baggie. But they share anyway, they always do. Soon enough the joint has dwindled down, they’re both high enough to hopefully have a peaceful sleep. Steve turns to Eddie, looking into his eyes before speaking up,

“I’m tired, man. Ready to go to bed?” Eddie nods his head. His eyes feel as droopy as Steve’s look. Despite staying over every week, Eddie always ‘just happens to forget’ his pajamas at home. 

“Can I borrow some clothes? I forgot mine again.” Eddie tries to feign innocence by bringing his hand up to rub at the back of his neck. He can’t be blamed that much, though. He likes to feel close to Steve by wearing his clothes. He likes to pretend that he’s wearing them for different reasons, like maybe he belongs to Steve. That maybe Steve belongs to him, too. 

“Sure” Steve says as he walks over to his dresser. He pulls out a set of sweatpants and a soft, worn T-shirt. 

“Here, Eds” He says, tossing his clothes over to Eddie. He turns back around and starts changing into his own sleep wear. Eddie turns and starts undressing. He puts on the sweatpants first. They’re slightly too big on him. The length is fine, but the fabric hangs loose around his calves and thighs. They’re a light grey in color, soft and perfect. 

Eddie pulls on the shirt. It’s a dark, navy blue. The front reads “Hawkin’s Community Pool Lifeguard”. It’s probably one of the darkest shirts Steve owns, ironic due to it supposedly being worn out in the sun all day. It’s soft and a bit on the thinner side from being worn for so long. Eddie’s seen Steve wear this shirt around the house quite a bit. Knowing that he gets to wear one of Steve’s most comfortable shirts makes Eddie’s face warm. 

He turns back around, Steve already done changing and looking at him. Eddie smiles at him, 

“Well, good night, Stevie.” Eddie says, wiggling his fingers in a flirty way as he turns to leave the room. 

“Wait-” Steve says, grabbing onto Eddie’s bicep. 

“Can you…Can you stay in here?” Steve asks. He looks at Eddie despite his hesitation.

“Yeah. I’ll stay with you, Stevie.” Steve softens at Eddie’s affirmation. He doesn't let go of Eddie, but instead pulls him towards the bed. Steve pulls back the covers and slides in first, leaving a side open for Eddie. 

Eddie crawls in, grabbing the blankets and tucking them both in. He leaves a gap in between them. He wants to close the space, to cuddle with Steve and fall asleep wrapped around him. But he doesn’t. Instead he turns onto his side, the one facing away from Steve. It kills him, not being able to look at Steve; but he knows he won’t be able to go to sleep if he looks for any longer. 

“Good night, Stevie. Have sweet dreams, don’t let the bedbugs biteee” Eddie chants, teasing Steve while meaning every word. 

“You too, you dork,” Steve says. Eddie can hear the smile in Steve’s voice. Sleep soon starts taking over Eddie’s body. His eyes droop closed, his breath evens out, and he melts into Steve’s absolutely delightful bed. 

He can’t breathe. The bats are after him. His legs sting as he peddles faster. He needs to do this. He needs to draw the bats away from Dustin. He needs to go. He needs to stand up. 

He jumps off of the bike, throwing it to the ground. He swings back around and stabs at the bats with his spear. He tries holding up his shield, but there’s too many. They’re swarming him

. He falls to the ground. They bite into him. It hurts. They’re eating him. He can’t breathe. He’s going to die. He’s going to die. He can’t breathe. 

He can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he can’t- 

“Eddie!” Steve shakes him awake. His lungs hurt. He’s sweaty and panic is still stuck in his throat. His heart is beating too fast for his body, he’s going to die if it keeps going like that. He’s going to die- 

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Steve says, still holding onto Eddie’s shoulders. His eyes shoot over to Steve’s. His heart is still beating too fast, he still can’t breathe. 

“Here-” Steve says. He moves his hand down Eddie’s arm and onto his hand. Steve grips his hand and pulls it up. He presses Eddie’s hand to his chest, right above his heart. 

“Feel that? It’s my heartbeat, we’re ok. Feel my chest, Eds. Follow my breathing,” Steve’s skin is warm under Eddie’s palm. Eddie focuses on the rise and fall of Steve’s chest. He tries matching his breathing to Steve’s. 

Inandout. Inandout. In and out. In…. and out. 

“There we go. Good job, baby. You’re doing amazing for me.” Eddie flushes at the pet name. He feels better now. He can breathe. He still feels taught, like a string pulled too tight. 

“You remember where we are? We’re in my room. You’re in my bed. It’s Friday, remember? We watched Labyrinth with Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle? We’re safe, it’s ok.” 

Right, right. It’s Friday. He’s in Steve’s room, in Steve’s clothes. He’s here because Steve asked him to stay. He remembers.

“Ok….I’m ok.” Eddie says after a minute. Steve moves his free hand up from Eddie’s shoulder and onto his face. He cradles Eddie’s face in his hand. His hand is rough from calluses. His thumb swipes away the tears on Eddie’s face. When did he start crying?

“You did so amazing, Eddie. You just had a nightmare, we’re ok.” Steve reaffirms. Eddie feels shame coil in his gut. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that. I didn’t wake you up, did I? I’m so sorry-”

“Hey, No. None of that. You don’t need to apologize, Eds.” Steve says softly, continuing to rub his thumb across Eddie’s face. 

“No, I do. I know sleeps hard and I took that away from you-” Eddie tries to say, but Steve cuts him off again. 

“Eddie, it’s ok. I know. I know what the nightmares are like, Eds. You went through so much, Baby. It’s ok to still be scared. I’m still scared too. You don’t need to apologize. You have nothing to apologize for.” Steve looks at Eddie with something so soft. It’s not demeaning, but genuine and light. Eddie wants to fight back, to convince Steve to let him apologize. But Steve makes him feel so safe. He can’t argue back, but he still can’t agree, either. 

“Hey, I know that look. You have to believe me, Eddie. Do you know how many times you’ve helped me after a nightmare? So many times, Eddie. So many times.” Steve smiles at him,

“You always tell me it’s not a hassle. That I’m not a hassle. You make me feel seen, Eddie. I see you too. I see you, Eds.” 

Eddie’s heart swirls. Steve sees him. Steve sees him for him. All the excitement and fun and liveliness of the day. All of the bad and pain and fear of the night. He sees Steve, and Steve sees him right back. Eddie nods this time; his walls have been tumbled down, Knocked over by Steve’s assurance.  

“I love you, Eddie.” Steve presses his forehead against Eddie’s. His hand’s still holding Eddie’s to his chest. Eddie can feel his heartbeat, steady and strong. Eddie can almost feel the love pumping through Steve. 

Eddie’s face breaks into a smile. Steve sees him and loves him despite it, Because of it. A warm flourish blooms through Eddie. A tear runs down his cheek for a different reason, now. 

“I love you too, Stevie.” Eddie says. The love they share is caught between them. The small space still there is filled with love. Eddie can’t deny it, he can only embrace it.  

Steve’s skin is warm against his, their hearts beat together, and they love each other. Eddie sees Steve, and Steve sees Eddie.    

[breeberrypies]

pink goes good with green ‧₊˚ ⋅*

goes well with green.

[kaiserouo]

second dream spoiler ig

call yourself stupid and ugly

[disposal-blueeee]

VARGASTOBER - day 1 : memories

[todayisafridaynight]

[hizznbyte]

Mutuals, behold! I come bearing gifts!

I drew :3

Yeah yeah I know I spent an ungodly amount of time working on this fighting for my life on every little detail. But it was fun. And good practice. Probably. One week on and off. I kinda got lazy by the end but… anyways !

Everyone in order of appearance

@/ward-leon’s OC Renat(a) ! That’s how you spell it right? Anywho Leon is genuinely such a pleasant person to talk to and interact with so I just had to draw em.. aaa the silly :3:3:3:3

@/mourningarchivist seems so cool.. and mysterious [!!!] They get to keep the golden star sticker, they deserve it. Also the executives yearn for slop… [shivers].

Komajoni CEO @/faaake-radio had this neat pirate-esque oc ‘nd I just had to draw her. Yes I am falling victim to pirate propaganda… also yeah I like Komajoni they are cute!! I was dying drawing the tiny komajoni figures tho AAAAA

@/centimetercat has been around since… basically the very beginning of my blog [ever since it was first made to be a Kittisaurus side blog] and they’ve been lovely so I couldn’t leave them out . I actually don’t know if centi has like a persona or an oc but there was this cool little guy in their banner ! [blasts you with my kitty meow meow beam]. Second best option was to draw a centimeter long TT

Best friend and the other half of the Suiciduo[l], YAX!! Slash @/yalkyu. She is a dumb idiot moron and I love her so whatever. Insert eye rolling emoji here. I made her design a little like Osamu Dazai [yeah the guy from BSD that she kins to an unhealthy degree], hopefully she’ll notice.

@/gazismywife is my very lovely long distance friend who I love and who’s art I adore. And I am be overdue to draw their persona… which I promised months ago. Whoops sorry I have the memory of a fly.. but their character was so pretty I needed to do it!

Last but not least , the rat ever. @/yellow-corruption. Aka younger sister Fizzi. Who I hate. I gave up putting effort into this fuck you Fizzi

Also also! I drew cats!! Try to see who’s who ;3 Obligatory kitty cat posting. Don’t think I need to explain

Uhmmm ^_^ okay I hope you like them I’m gonna go hide under the covers neow bye!!!

[ch1zzie]

Okayyy I might take a bit of a break! School JUST started again after break and everything is going all over the place so I might need some time to figure it out along with some other work I have to do so YA! Urrr no arts for now sadlys

I will see you!! I'm not sure when!!

I LOVE U!

[wackywatchdotcom]

ive been holed up in my room all day i need to go walk outside with pomni and look at plants

[bragganhyl]

...this might just be the fastest Ast*ri*n has been trying to shoot his shot with Berci but alas

He still wasn't as fast as L'Z (beat him to it by 1 day)

He got Kar*ach blocked (she literally knew Berci for 1 day)

[bunnyboy-juice]

awawawawawawa

[kudravi-nesit]

Me: "Boy, oh boy! Now that I have my own sewing machine, I can make my own clothes! Surely it will cost me less than buying something from a clothing store!"

Fabric pricing:

[ladejemonadee]

when that one person feels way too similar to me, likes the exact same things i like, talks like me/uses the same phrases i do, kinda posts like me (on pinterest at least), makes freaky jokes about the same things i do, and is friends with a lot of my friends/mutuals (im deathly afraid of them replacing me as i fade into irrelevance)

[lacystar]

Cringetober day 4– angel x demon

Long love Yuri

[seventh-district]

.

[madigoround]

It’s 1am and I’ve been mentally fighting off the usual worries that I’ll never amount to anything and that everything is hopeless but also now that it’s after midnight it’s the 15th and the day I got out was the 17th so we are two days away from it being eight years since I got out of a really abusive household, now it’s a little past eight years since the last time I tried to end it, it’s almost eight years since I decided I would rather take the risk that comes with fleeing the state with two thousand dollars to my name than the only other option which was to leave in a body bag. I am pretty scared that that was just delaying the inevitable and I’ll never be consistently happy or worth caring for or successful but at the very least I’ve put in such a good effort. At least I haven’t broken my eight year streak

[love-fireflysong]

Hi Lisa, you have one hour.

Please feed me with some Chrashley/Joshlynn fic cause I am STARVING

love you

😘

The apartment was quiet. In fact, Ashley would go as far to say that it was too quiet. Which once upon a time wouldn't have been an issue, in all actuality she would have called it a blessing and revelled in its rarity for as long as she possibly could. But alas, she now not only had a kid to care for, but one that was a toddler. And if there was one thing she had learned extremely quickly from the instant her daughter had started crawling, it was that it was the silent moments that she had to be most on guard for.

So even though Chris should have been keeping an eye on their daughter while Ashley worked, she doesn't even hesitate to close her laptop (not even bothering to save the history essay she had been in the middle of proofreading for a client) and get up from the kitchen table to hunt down her wayward husband and toddler.

It doesn't take very long to find them both, not that she had expected it to of course. The apartment had only four total rooms, and considering that they definitely hadn't been in the shared kitchen and living room (she would have noticed them right away in that case) and she highly doubted that they had shoved themselves into the teeny tiny bathroom, that left the two bedrooms. And just like she had expected, opening the door to Joshlynn's room just a crack so she could peek in, revealed the two exact people she had been looking for.

Thankfully, Joshlynn's not doing anything too mischievous just yet. All she's doing in fact is just happily babbling to herself at the small table that's currently covered in large blocks and plastic dolls in the middle of the room. Not that she's playing with any of the toys that is, if anything she seems to be using the table for support as she carefully holds onto the edge with both hands and is making laps around it. Not a surprise that of course, has she still had yet to take her first steps both Ashley and Chris were used to the sight of her using the edge of practically every single furniture they had to pull herself up so she could move around upright and not in a horizontal position.

The problem on the other hand, is Chris. Who is most decidedly not keeping an eye on their daughter like he's supposed be, because he's too busy staring at the screen of his phone as he sits in the armchair next to the door.

"Chris!" Ashley hisses out furious.

While Chris certainly does jump a bit in shock, she upset to find that he doesn't look one bit guilty when he turns to look at her. If anything, he looks more confused than anything else. "Oh, hey Ash. Did you already finish up those essay's you were working on? Cause if so, man that was quick. Gotta be a new record for you easy."

"Oh don't you 'Hey Ash' me! Just what do you think you're doing? You're supposed to be watching her, not looking at your phone you dip!"

While that certainly did wipe the confusion from off his face, it still wasn't replaced with guilt like she had expected. Now he just looked insulted. "I am! Jesus Ash, I'm just taking a video of her. She started using doing those laps of hers a couple of minutes ago and I figured I'd show you a video of it later once you finished with your work. Sorry for thinking that you'd find it cute."

Ashley doesn't even get a chance to say anything, much less apologize, before she feels a sudden weight on her leg as tiny arms wrapped themselves around her with an excited "Momma! Momma!"

Instantly, both Chris and Ashley are looking down at the fourteen month old in shock, and then slowly to the table where she had been doing her laps only a few seconds ago before turning their gaze back to her. Both extremely aware of the absolute lack of anything that their daughter would have been able to grab onto to make her way over to Ashley. And that she definitely hadn't felt the usual weight of Joshlynn using her jeans to pull herself up either.

Both of them extremely aware that they had somehow managed to miss their daughter's very first steps.

"Oh my god," Ashley can't help but squeak out, "please please please tell me that you were still filming and you managed to get that."

And just like her, Chris is pale and his eyes frantic as he fast fowards through the video as fast as he can. "Trust me Ash, I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to forgive myself if I didn't."