#maybe this has to do with my craving for validation
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iwaoiness · 3 days ago
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— sm.ut mention 🔞
it’s amazing how oikawa can shift from pillow princess to dominant king, how one night he can be the biggest spoiled brat in the universe, demanding to be pampered and taken to climax, and another night he’s the most arrogant person alive, with the dirtiest, hottest mouth.
and iwaizumi can’t help but fall for that duality, for the way they’re so in sync that they don’t even need words to know what they’ll do. a glance or a small gesture is always enough.
the same days hajime wants to lock tooru in a tower and shower him with treasures are the days oikawa craves being spoiled, praised, and shielded from the entire world. the same days tooru wants to drive hajime wild and show him that there is comfort in his arms are the days iwaizumi just wants to disconnect from everything and focus on how oikawa makes him feel.
"iwa-chan"
"mmh?"
"are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?"
"nothing’s wrong"
oikawa furrows his brow, turning to lie on his side and propping his head up on his hand. hajime stays on his back, his wide eyes fixed on the ceiling, nervously playing with the drawstring of his joggers.
their skin has cooled, their hair still damp from the shower. there’s a dull ache in oikawa’s lower back where iwaizumi’s heels had dug in too hard, and the fresh scratches on his back and the sharp bite on his neck throb beneath his skin. so he knows for a fact that something’s up.
"liar"
iwaizumi says nothing, just shrugs, still avoiding his gaze. oikawa pouts and places his hand over hajime’s, stopping the restless motion.
"iwa-chan, talk to me"
he resists, stubborn as ever, pursing his lips to hold it in. but tooru starts playing with his fingers, his thumb softly stroking the back of his hand. hajime’s breath hitch.
"please" oikawa lowers his voice, leaning in a little closer, bringing their joined hands to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to the back of hajime’s hand. "hajime" he whispers against his skin, his eyes keenly watching as the resistance starts to crumble.
slowly, tooru moves down to his wrist, leaving another kiss on his pulse. and that’s when hajime finally breaks.
in an instant, iwaizumi crashes into oikawa, knocking the air out of him with an "off" as he’s pushed flat onto the mattress, and curls into his neck, wrapping him in his arms as tightly as he can. oikawa holds him just as tightly, enveloping him in his embrace while whispering that "it’s okay", "everything’s okay, iwa-chan, i'm here".
"it might not have been intentional," hajime speaks minutes later, breaking the silence with a slightly shaky voice "but this morning, one of the rookies, when i mentioned us, asked how it’s even possible to be together your whole life, if we really chose each other or if we just ended up together out of habit."
tooru blinks, his brow furrowing as a growing irritation settles in his chest.
"fucking what?" he snaps, and hajime burrows further into him.
"he said people who get used to each other do it because it’s easy, because they feel insecure and constantly need validation," hajime continues. "it got to me. i tried to ignore it, i really did, but it kept circling in my head, and it fucking scared me. i thought maybe we didn’t choose each other, that we just accepted it and that was it."
oikawa huffs, holding him tighter, already itching for the rookie’s name, last name, age, and address, because hurting hajime (intentional or not, physical or verbal or mental) awakens an overwhelming protective instinct in him. and he knows it’s the same the other way around.
"hajim—"
"and i got mad at myself," hajime cuts him off, finally lifting his head to look at him, his eyes glassy with tears that refuse to fall but still full of determination. "because i do choose you, tooru, just like you choose me. how the hell could i not choose you every damn day?" tooru’s eyes widen at his words, iwaizumi’s hands cradling his face with tenderness. "i’m with you because i love you, because you’re the best person i’ll ever know, because you understand me like no one else, and even being bored with you is fun."
"i don’t know why he said that," hajime shakes his head, his thumbs brushing against tooru’s cheeks as the other stares back with utter adoration. "getting used to someone isn’t a bad thing. it just means lives have molded to fit together, and mine has with yours since the day you came into the world, since you came to me."
every word settles between oikawa’s heart and soul, and he feels like the air he’s breathing is cleaner, the room is brighter, and he’s more certain than ever that hajime is his first and last love, his partner of life.
oikawa lets out an amused sigh and smiles beneath his glassy eyes.
"you know, i was supposed to be the one easing your insecurities today, iwa-chan. not the other way around" he teases, because that’s how they’ve always worked.
hajime blinks once before frowning, blushing, and flopping heavily back onto tooru with a grunt.
"i take it all back, idiot."
tooru laughs, loud, boisterous, and genuine, clinging to hajime like a koala, rubbing his cheek against the other’s temple.
"i’ll never get tired of choosing you, hajime" he promises sincerely, feeling all of iwa’s chiseled muscles relax completely in his arms. "i don't know the world without you by my side."
...
my little aportation to oiiwa day and a big gift for the sweetie @namirotraeu 💝 u NEED to check the beautiful fanart she made for me!!!
u cand find me on my ao3, bluesky and here's my carrd 🍉
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crush-like-that · 1 year ago
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something terrible needs to happen so me so i get a sick ass scar on my face so i can be like "oh yea! 🤗🤗 i've visibly been through unimaginable horrors! 🩷✨🤗" i just think it would be good for the plot
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topicaltropic · 6 months ago
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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recovering-vamp · 2 years ago
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dating sim (VN or CYOA... hmmm) with a mostly/exclusively fat character cast... with lots of cool gender + poly inclusive... this would be nice. mayhaps time to put my RenPy or Twine love to use... idk what sort of thing. just. might be nice to stretch the coding muscles again.
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genderfluid-druid · 2 years ago
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#ok we're gonna try to finish this story in under 30 tags ok let's go#SO. 'hahaha yeah wow that's crazy that you know him! we did date yeah. (does not elaborate)'#but. okay confession time. i know this was a questionable choice. it was selfish. it fed the brain gremlin that craves validation#but i never blocked M on snapchat#so even though we never talked. i could see when he viewed my stories. and i won't lie. there is a smug part of me that enjoyed#letting him see me go on about my life.#i am a flawed bitch. so sue me. it was a manageable amount of contact that didn't send me into spirals#and he DID keep viewing them.#he even messaged me once! i don't know maybe a year ago. it was totally out of the blue. 'saw this book and thought of you' on a picture of#a nice edition of The Hobbit. i didn't respond. i had to have a petty moment for all the times during the Bad Era when i tried to message#him and he took too long (in my shitty estimation) to message back. so i left him on read. for like a year#okay you can see where this is going so I'll cut to the chase#'i ran into a friend of yours' is a perfectly reasonable conversation starter. it can be the whole conversation if it needs to be.#well. it wasn't#idk. my world state for the last six years has been 'M doesn't care for me and there is no world in which we ever have a civil chat again.'#well. that doesn't track with 'it's past my bedtime but i don't mind staying up to chat' and 'i would love to get an earful about podcasts'#and 'let's chat again' and 'it was really great to hear from you'#idk. i don't know what emotion i should feel. anger is gonna be the first one that makes it to the surface i think#got a good healthy dose of anger happening#grief. i do think there's some grief. mmhmm yep there it is#there are probably some positive emotions but those are the most strenuously repressed and i don't think I'm ready to let the collar off#i have made a lot of choices in the last six years to protect my mental health specifically because of how that relationship ended#so even just talking to him is. well for one thing it's playing a bit fast and loose with the health i have managed to build up#i feel good. my life has been good lately. my therapist moved me from monthly to once every three months. my social life is the most#thriving it's ever been#i am possibly in a place to unbox some things that were thrown in the attic as an emergency measure#i should talk to my therapist
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panb1mbo · 3 months ago
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yea u were mean to me so i cried and bitched abt it to my man and he agrees too he thinks u were so fucked up for that one bro
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tarotwithlucien · 3 months ago
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Letter from your Future Spouse | PICK A PILE
⊹ ᨦ Hello! Welcome to another PAP about future spouse, as you asked for a lot, here I am back ;) I have to warn you that there's a lil bit of nsfw in this reading so if you're underage LEAVE 😠
₊˚๑ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that caught your attention. ₊˚๑ Disclaimer: All readings are done for entertainment only, don't use my readings as a replacement for legitimate advice. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ masterist | tip jar
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🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE ONE ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
"My dearest love,
I want you to know that all I truly desire is a peaceful life with you. In a world that often seems to value wealth, fame, and material luxuries, I find solace in the simplicity of our love. I don’t need grand gestures or extravagant possessions. As long as I’m by your side, that’s more than enough for me. I envision a quiet, private life where it’s just the two of us, free from the noise and distractions of the outside world. It doesn’t even matter to me if no one in the city we live in knows our name, all that matters is you and the beautiful life we build together. From the moment I met you, I’ve fallen for you deeply. Your essence captivates me in ways I can hardly explain. I love your unique style, even when others judge it harshly (Many people in this pile have a more alternative look, maybe even tattoos or piercings, and that just adds to how much they admire you). I find beauty in your individuality, in the way you express yourself unapologetically. I adore listening to you talk, even when your words ramble on about something seemingly silly – it doesn’t matter. When you ask me to, I love wrapping my hands around your neck, feeling the warmth of your skin beneath my fingertips. The way you beg for my touch sends shivers down my spine; it ignites a fire within me that I never knew existed. The pleasure you give me is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced, and I crave every moment we share. Seeing you from behind during our passionate encounters drives me wild with desire, and I’m utterly eager to know your taste in every sense. I am completely captivated by you; you have my heart, and honestly, I’d let you ruin my life if that’s what you wanted. I want you to know that you are free to be exactly who you are with me. Never apologize for being yourself; your authenticity is what makes you shine. Don’t let the opinions of others weigh you down or dictate how you live your life. You don’t need to seek validation from anyone or change who you are to fit someone else’s expectations. Those people who criticize you? They’re simply jealous because they lack the courage to live as freely as you do. Remember, you’re not perfect – none of us are – but you possess so much inherent value. I hope you can see that in yourself, even on days when self-doubt creeps in. I’ve noticed that you’ve been holding back, staying quiet when things or people bother you, and it’s been going on for far too long. It’s time to stop. You deserve to stand up for yourself and speak out when something doesn’t feel right. Don’t just let things slide or accept situations that don’t sit well with your heart. And please, exercise caution with the people you trust – not everyone has your best interests at heart. You are precious to me, and I want to protect you from any negativity or harm that may come your way. You mean everything to me, and I promise to be your safe haven, your supporter, and your biggest fan. Together, we can navigate this life and face whatever challenges come our way. I’ll always stand by your side, encouraging you to be the incredible person you are meant to be.
With all my love, Your future spouse."
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🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE TWO ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
"My love,
I’ve never felt so happy or so deeply invested in someone until you came into my life. Before we became what we are now, we were just friends, and that in itself was confusing for me. I’d never felt anything like this for anyone before, so it caught me off guard. But now, being with you, I find myself in awe, thinking, "Wow, is this really my life?”. Being with you as your partner feels like the most divine experience I’ve ever had. Right now, I know there are people who don’t treat you the way you deserve. Some of them always think they’re right and criticize you, making it seem like you’re always wrong and never good enough. They point out your flaws and mistakes as if you aren’t capable of doing anything right. But listen to me, love, you don’t need to tolerate that. You deserve better. These people don’t know your worth, and I’m telling you, don’t waste your time trying to please them. Don’t let their words tear you down, and don’t let them walk all over you. It’s time for you to stand tall and show them exactly who you are. You’re so much more than their shallow judgments, and you don’t need their approval to know your value. The thought of losing you is something I can hardly bear. Just imagining you being with someone else, laughing with them, sharing moments, and kissing them – it makes my heart ache in ways I can’t describe. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I’m protective of you because I love you so much, and the idea of someone else having what we have – it would break me. I know it sounds possessive, but it’s not in a toxic way. I just can’t imagine my life without you, and I don’t want to share you with anyone. You’re mine, and I’ll always fight for us because I know that what we have is rare. This kind of love doesn’t come around often, and it’s something worth fighting for, no matter what. I’ll be by your side through every high and low. I’m not going anywhere. Stay with me, because I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you’ve dreamed of. You deserve the world, and I’ll spend my life trying to give it to you. You’re beautiful – so incredibly beautiful. If we were in a room full of people, you’d still be the only one I’d see. No one else could ever hold my attention the way you do. You make me feel more alive than I ever have before, and I can’t help but be mesmerized by you, by the way you move, by everything you are. I want you. I want to feel you close, I want our bodies to collapse into one another, and I want to hold you through the night. I want to wake up the next morning with you beside me, your face illuminated by the soft light of the sun. I can’t imagine anything more perfect than that. Every moment with you feels like a dream, and I never want to wake up from it. I hope you know how much you mean to me, how much I cherish you. I’m completely and hopelessly in love with you, and I’ll stand by you, no matter what comes our way. You’re my heart, my soul, my everything.
With all my love, Your future spouse."
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🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE THREE ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
"My darling,
I want you to know that I’m here to lift you up and encourage you to fly high, chasing after all your dreams with unwavering determination. I see you grappling with people who are rude or who treat you as if you’re less than you truly are, and I want you to realize that this mistreatment only happens because you allow it. I understand that you might hold back your words, choosing silence to avoid conflict, but it’s essential for you to stand your ground and assert yourself. You have every right to demand respect, and you must not let anyone walk all over you. It might take time for you to learn how to set boundaries and to stand firm without feeling guilty, especially if you’re someone who tends to please others. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but I promise you, you’ll get there if you take that first step. I see you feeling lonely at times, and it pains me to know that you’re going through this. I can help you mend that loneliness, and I want nothing more than to see you shine brightly in your own unique way. I long to be near you, to touch you, to kiss you passionately, and to explore every inch of your being. You deserve to feel desired and loved, and I want to be the one to show you just how incredible you are. I’ll make you scream with pleasure because you are such a good girl/good boy, and I will send you all the love in my heart, wrapped in every caress and whisper. You have the power to manifest the life of your dream. You can create the reality you desire, and I believe in you wholeheartedly. Know that I am practically at your feet, waiting for you to call out to me. As soon as you do, I will come running. Being apart from you right now feels like a dagger to my heart. Even though we haven’t met yet, I am on a quest to find you, enduring this distance as best I can. The thought of trying to stop loving you is impossible; it would only cause my feelings to deepen. I could never truly let you go, and the very idea of it is unbearable. But I hold on to the hope that one day we will be together, sharing everything that life has to offer. My eyes are always on you; you are everything I see. You are my world, my everything, and I will always be here, ready to embrace you when the time comes.
With all my love, Your future spouse."
© tarotwithlucien - don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | moodboard & dividers by plutism
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fangisms · 1 year ago
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lady may
A/N: something ab writing for an angry hufflepuff really saved my soul. she is SO valid. maybe i’m her. (also this song eats away at my brain, so i had to write ab it… naturally) gif creds: @frodo-sam
Pairings: Cedric Diggory x Fem!Grumpy!Hufflepuff!Reader
Summary: Well, he’s not the toughest hickory that your axe has ever felled // But he’s a hickory just as well 1.5k words
Warnings: fluff, cursing, two idiots very much in love, pining, angry hufflepuff, dumb/embarassed reader (lovingly), golden retriever cedric, quidditch injury mention
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How could you look so beautiful drenched by the pouring rain, hovering ten meters in the air, goggles suctioned to your face, barking orders at the rest of the team like a drill sergeant? It’d always make him wonder. And midgame, that’s a silly thing to do. Which is exactly why he’s doing it.
You’re the angriest girl Cedric’s ever met. World class beater and a great captain, but you’ve got serious anger issues. The guys have started calling you boxer because you’re always on the verge of a scrap. Cedric has seen you chew out almost every position on the team. Except him. You’ve never yelled at him, you barely even look in his direction on a good day. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, he wants you to yell at him.
Well, not entirely inexplicable. Now would be the best time to mention he’s got a huge crush on you. In fact, he’s had a crush on you since you became team captain. You’ve always been pretty, but something about the title and the power really commanded his attention.
Which is precisely why he needs you to yell at him. He craves it. He’s been waiting all year for you to tell him he’s an idiot and that he’s doing everything wrong. But you won’t. And desperate times call for very desperate measures.
He’s barely dodging bludgers, not even trying for the snitch, doing party tricks in front of the stands, anything for you to glance his way. And then he goes and gets knocked off his broom. Luckily, he wasn’t too high in the air and he wasn’t flying too fast. The worst that happened was he got the wind knocked out of him. The best? You marching toward him like a sicced dog.
You kneel at his side, goggles loose around your neck as you coo, “are you okay?”
What? No, this is all wrong, you’re supposed to call him stupid, say that next time he’s off the team. Not ask if he’s okay.
Cedric nods and you help him sit up, signalling to the stadium that he’s alright. A cheer rips through the crowd.
“Can you play?” you huff, patting his back softly. He’s got butterflies.
“Yeah,” he says. When you get him on his feet, he almost wishes you won’t let go. And he suddenly remembers you’re much prettier up close, and his heart nearly gives out.
“Good sport, Diggory,” you tease, hopping back on your broom, “Back to work!”
It’d take a brain injury to get your attention.
The game goes off without a hitch: Cedric goes back to actually trying for the snitch and wins Hufflepuff the game. He’s a little disappointed he hsan’t given you anything else to be upset about. So once the celebration is over, he catches you outside of the locker rooms.
“Why didn’t you get mad at me?” Cedric asks, jogging to catch you as you head back towards the dorms. You don’t respond, but he’s sure you heard him. So he nudges your shoulder. “Come on, boxer, I’ve seen you angry, I’m prepared.”
You stop dead in your tracks, and he slows to a stop just behind you. Then you turn to face him, and he’s never seen your glare so intense.
“Listen, Diggory, you’re smart, you’ve got talent, and I trust you to perform well on this team. So I can’t for the life of me understand why you go out on that field just to dick around.”
You’re serious. Not angry, just serious. You’ve got this calm and collected tone that drives him absolutely up-the-wall insane. But he wants you to yell.
“You have plenty of adoring fans tracking your every move, you don’t have to pull dumb shit to get people to like you. You could’ve gotten yourself hurt or killed, understand? So I advise you put your team and your safety before your reputation,” you say, storming off with your bag slung over your shoulder.
And it gets him kind of worked up because obviously, he wouldn’t have done any of it if it weren’t for you. You and your stupidly selective anger issues. And your stupid smile.
“Hold on,” he hollers, still half drunk on the idea of being subject to your rage, “you think I don’t put this team at the top of all of my lists? Clearly, I love this stupid sport or I wouldn’t put so much damn time and effort into it!”
“If you love this sport, act like it.” Your jaw ticks before you march through the doorway, leaving him flustered in the mist of the courtyard.
He’s giving it one last go. If you won’t get angry with him, maybe he ought to just confess his feelings outright. This feels like the most rational he’s ever been. He even combed his hair extra carefully in hopes of you noticing.
Your friends quiet down when he approaches you in the mess hall, small flower pinched between his fingers, grin plastered across his face. You look a little annoyed but he’s pretty sure it’s just shock. And suddenly it feels like grade school when they all burst into giggles.
“This is for you—”
“Diggory.”
He cocks a brow. “Yeah?”
You grab the sleeve of his robes and drag him out into the hall, near slamming him into the stone wall. So much for his combed hair.
“What was that back there?” you hiss, “What’s wrong with you?”
“Well. I brought you a flower. It’s from the field—”
“I can see that!”—you’re frenzied searhcing for any possible explanation other than he has a head injury from falling—“Explain to me why.”
He looks confused and presents the flower again.“Isn’t it obvious?”
You look down at the flower. It’s small and white and looks so delicate in his hand. And you look at him. You suppose his pupils are a little extra dilated. “Are you poisoned? Or drunk?”
“No!”
You finally let go of him to gesture wildly. “Then what, Cedric—Merlin’s beard—What???”
“I brought you a flower,” he coos, tilting his head. You press two fingers to the bridge of your nose.
“Yeah, I got that part—”
“Hold on—hasn’t anyone ever given you something nice because… they like you?” Cedric hums, shuffling closer to you. Your eyes are glued to the tiny flower, but you won’t take it. Then you glare up at him.
“Is this a joke? Did the twins put you up to it?”
“No, just take the flower! I like you!” He sounds dastardly jovial, taking your wrist in one hand and presisng the flower to your palm with the other.
“What?” you scoff. Still staring down at the flower, making him wish his face was made of them so you’d look at him like that.
“Yeah,” he sighs.
And then you look at him. In the eyes. Perplexed, brows knitted, but you’re looking right at him and he could faint. Maybe it is a head injury.
“But I’m not… I’m not like…”
“Like what?” he asks.
“Well, it’s just—I’m confused because… you like pretty girls, and I’m not… that’s not what I do—am. What I am.”
“You’ve got to be joking,” he huffs.
“Cho is pretty,” you state.
“You’re pretty.”
“No, Cedric, I play quidditch. If I was pretty, I’d have a boyfriend,” you reason, shrugging your shoulders and giving him a real run for his money.
“And those things are connected… how?”
You scoff and relax a little when he puts his hands on his hips. So what if he’s incredibly handsome. So what if your friends want to see you together. So what if he’s the one person you don’t want to rip to shreds. It’s not like any of that matters. Right?
“It makes sense!” you say.
“No, it doesn’t. Can I be your boyfriend?”
“Diggory, don’t—”
“Is that a no?”
“Well, no! But you’re being rash! You’ll change your mind, and you’ll want your flower back!”
He shakes his head. “No. I gave you a flower because I think you’re very wonderful and very beautiful and I want to be your boyfriend.”
“But…”—he’s very amused by the fact that he’s made you flustered—“I sweat a lot!”
“So do I,” he chuckles, “we do play quidditch together, I hope you know.”
“Okay, okay, fine. We… argue!” you chirp.
“And you’re almost always right! Problem solved,” he says, “Now, would you be my girlfriend or do I have to get down on my knees?”
“No! I mean, yes! No, no, no knees, just… yes. I will be your girlfriend.”
Cedric smirks, taking the flower from your still open palm and tucking it behind your ear. Yesterday, he could barely say hello to you, and now he’s pulling you closer and tilting your chin up. His heart flutters when you palm his waist, and you smile when he leans a little closer.
“Are you going to kiss me?” you hum. He chuckles.
“Only if you’d like.”
You roll your eyes and smile. “Naturally.”
masterlist
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valsverse · 1 year ago
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— GENERAL DATING HC'S (part two)
pairing: percy jackson, annabeth chase, leo valdez, piper mclean, jason grace, hazel levesque, frank zhang (respectively) x gn!reader word count: 3.9k
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percy jackson
if anyone is boyfriend coded it's percy.
the way percy immediately squeezes your hand to call your attention the second he spots something he knows you'd love. whether it's your favorite song playing in a store, or the sight of pretty flowers in full bloom, percy's just as excited as you are !!
for some reason, percy really likes to shower you with hugs. whether you're out in public or nestled comfortably in your own cabin, he's quick to wrap his arms around you and hold you close! you can feel his warmth radiating against your skin as he presses his body close to yours, his face nuzzled snugly in the crook of your neck. he just doesn't want to let you go, at least not yet. maybe it's because he feels safe when he's holding onto you, and he doesn't want that feeling to disappear so quickly. not that you mind, though.
percy loovvees to hold your hand in public, like he literally can't get enough of it. no matter where you go, he would effortlessly slip his hand into yours, the coolness of his palm making contact with your own as you walk side by side through camp.
i feel like percy's hands are pretty cool to the touch, so during the colder months he likes to hold your hand and tuck it in his pocket to shield you from the cold. like, he doesn't want to let go, but he also doesn't want you to freeze LMAOO.
percy's kisses are varied. sometimes they're slow, sometimes they're quick or urgent, and a whole lot more. but each time, they're exhilarating. percy also has a habit of pulling and playing with your belt or waistband whenever you kiss, and it always catches you off guard, no matter how many times it happens. even when you're in the middle of doing something else, he'll grab you by the waistband and pull you in for a kiss. and when he's not tugging on it, he'll run his fingers around it, dragging his fingers around the fabric almost teasingly, LIKE GAH ZAMN.
percy lets you draw on his skateboard!! listen, i know he's only mentioned as a skater like twice in the book, but i don't care. he is a skater boy in my heart.
his skateboard is absolutely LITTERED with doodles of your favorite bands, or any other designs that came to mind, as well as temporary stickers that are already starting to fade. but percy doesn't mind at all because it looks cool and you're happy! so that's all that matters to him. he loves looking down at the marks you left on his skateboard with a stupid smile, even if it means he gets hit by a wall because he wasn't paying attention.
when percy is in love, it becomes evident in his every action. he makes it a point to look for your face throughout the day, be it in moments of triumph or defeat. he only wants for you to witness him at his best, and no amount of applause or pats on the back from others can compare to the feeling of your touch; the gentle caress of your thumb across his cheek accompanied by words of praise, are what he craves the most. :(( he wants your validation and approval, but struggles to express it, because behind his front lies just an awkward teen filled with doubts and insecurities, desperate to prove himself to you.
but when he's in the water?? in his ZONE?? that's a different story. his confidence level SOARS. his water powers are in full force, and he's flipping around in the water trying to impress you like a little kid LMAOO.
to percy, you're more than just his partner. the thought of living without you is unimaginable to him, and he refuses to even think about it. his love for you only grows with each passing day, and he swears that he couldn't love you more than already does, yet he knows that he will tomorrow.
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annabeth chase
MY GF FR!!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️
annabeth always loved you, but as time went on, her perspective on you began to shift. she loved the sound of your laughter, and the way you would enthusiastically recount your experiences of the day. there was something in the way your eyes would light up when you spoke, that made her heart skip a beat. at first, she didn't recognize the emotions that were building within her, but the second she tried to deny being in love with you, she realized she was.
meeting you, loving you, finally making you hers—made annabeth have a whole different perspective on love.
she always asks for your opinions first. all the time. she asks for your thoughts on her latest architectural design, questions your perspective on her favorite book. because she values YOU. your input matteres to her more than anyone else's because she knows that you understood her in a way that no one else could. (also i feel like annabeth lowkey mansplains sometimes so she's trying to make up for it lmaoo.)
if your hair is long enough to tie back, she'll match your ponytail to hers. <33 but if not, she'll run her fingers through your hair instead, twirling the edges around her finger absentmindedly. annabeth doesn't like accessories in her own hair, but she loves seeing them in yours !!
she's VERY careful when tidying up your hair. like, if you ask her to brush your hair for you, it'll take her a while because she's so particular about it. she just wants the best for you!! <3
annabeth is the best with cats idc. (doesn't she have two in ttc?) she'll kneel down to pet it, making that "pspspsps" sound to get its attention LMAOO. she'll literally scoop it up in her arms and cradle it like a baby.
if you're allergic to cats or simply don't like them, she'll keep a distance and pretend to share your dislike, meanwhile, she'll already have come up with a cute name for the cat in her head, probably something similar to your own. <33
annabeth isn't really big on pda, but she makes up for it with other acts of love !! she has a variety of love languages, each more prominent than the next, but her go-to move is holding hands. she'll gently pull you along on your museum date, explaining the origins and details of each monument with a proud smile !!
you and annabeth gossip about books. not people. and yes, i am telling the truth, she told me herself. (lie) she'll even read to you while you lay your head on her lap JUST so that you two can talk about it later.
but when it comes to architectural books, sometimes annabeth forgets that not everyone is as passionate about architecture as she is LMAOO. she'd be like, "can you believe that John Poulson bribed people for his work? i would never stoop to that level," and you'd just be sitting there with a polite smile on your face even though you have no idea wtf she's talking about. but she does it because she trusts you, not because she wants to confuse you LMAOO.
annabeth is never easily vocal when it comes to her emotions. while she can be sharp-tongued when expressing her opinions, when it comes to her feelings, most of the time she struggles to find the right words. sometimes, she's not even sure how to articulate what she's experiencing. the sudden rush of emotions she's feeling now, with you, can be overwhelming, to say the least. her love for you is intense, but annabeth wonders if it's enough to fully convey how much she loves you. if she loved you any less, maybe it would be easier for her to express herself. but the truth is, she loves you so much that it leaves her at a loss for words. a daughter of athena. at a loss for words.
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leo valdez
this boy practically has permanent heart eyes for you — it's insane.
i think we all know this, but leo's definitely not one to hide his admiration for you. he's basically in a constant state of awe whenever you're around. he thinks you're the absolute prettiest person on earth, and he's LOUD about it. like, before you started dating he definitely looked up one of those cringe pick up line lists at least once in hopes of impressing you. (they didn't work.)
howeverrr, leo's affection for you runs deeper than just your physical appearance. you're not just eye candy to him. he values your inner qualities just as much as your outer ones, and he's always reminding you about it !!
mentioned this in pt 1, but this boy is an incredible cook and EVERYONE knows it. because of that, he's super perceptive when it comes to your food preferences, knowing exactly what dishes you love and those that you don't care for. he'll transfer food from his plate to yours because he wants you to enjoy your meal, and he'll and also happily devour any food that you dislike, while simultaneously insulting your taste LMAOO.
like one time you went to the bathroom, came back, and saw that the amount of your favorite food on your plate just doubled. 💀💀
leo loovvees taking photos of you. (let's pretend demigods are allowed to use phones) like, he'll snap away until his phone's storage is filled to the absolute BRIM. if you ask him to delete any unflattering ones, he'll do so but while fervently defending his collection, insisting that he takes so many pictures of you not because he's searching for the perfect shot, but because you look breathtaking from every angle. :((
in addition to his digital collection, leo also has a cherished polaroid board covered in various pictures, but the majority of them feature you. <33
leo spends a lot of time tinkering in his workshop, so if he has any scrap metal laying around (which he often does) he'll stay up late into the night creating something special just for you !!
leo looovveess kissing your cheek with a pronounced "mmMWAH!" sound. onces he's done, he'll turn his head slightly and look at you expectantly, indicating that he wants you to do the same to him. <33
he was probably the first one to say "i love you." in the relationship. he might've said it rather quickly because he was always sure about his feelings towards you even before your relationship had officially started, but he never pressured you to reciprocate. he was willing to wait for you to come to your own conclusion.
but until then, leo never stopped expressing his love for you. every morning and every night, he would whisper a giddy "i love you, mi amor" before rushing off to wherever he needed to be.
once you do finally say the words back to him though, he's grinning like an idiot for an entire two weeks. he'd often repeat his feelings for you, almost annoyingly, just to hear you say those four words he cherished the most back, 'i love you too.'
(also, this image is so leo. yes it's a green flag to me, and no i will not further elaborate.)
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piper mclean
piper has a habit of linking arms with you !! like, wherever you go, the two of you are literally inseparable. she also sees it as a way to declare your relationship, because she's proud to be with you and has nothing to hide! <33 she's also a hand swinger fr.
she lets you cut her hair !!! mostly because she secretly loves the sensation of your hands on her face and your fingers weaving through her choppy locks, but also because she trusts your judgement! piper isn't afraid of alternating her appearance, but she especially want to look good for you.
speaking of alternating appearances, you two match outfits. all the time. is it sickenly cheesy? yes. do either of you particularly care? no. even when you aren't wearing matching outfits, you both have a collection of homemade matching jewelry, so both of you are always carrying a piece of each other, even if it's just a simple bracelet. <33
NICKNAMES IN FRENCH >>>> OMGG. her most used include "mon amour" meaning "my love", "mon ange" [my angel] and "ma chérie." [my dear/darling] and yes she is very much aware of the effect she has on you. <33 speaking of, she 100% helps you ace all your french exams. such a good gf.
she tells you all about her family history. piper loves how your eyes light up with genuine curiosity. with you, she feels more appreciated. :(( she'll you all about the culture, customs, and even a few traditional songs.
piper knows she has a good singing voice, but she still feels self-conscious whenever she showcases them in front of others. but when it comes to you? she'll sing all you want, since she feels a huge sense of comfort whenever you're around. whether it's through cuddles or other means, it's in your arms that she feels the most at peace, and it's also where she feels the most comfortable saying, "i love you." !!!
she teaches you how to use a dagger lmaoo. she'll carefully guide you, tell you how good you're doing (sometimes), and even sneak in a few kisses if she's feeling extra affectionate that day!!
piper hates being labeled as a typical daughter of aphrodite. she constantly feels the need to prove that she doesn't fall into the stereotype that comes with being a child of the goddess of love. but ever since you came into her life, ever since she started loving you, you taught her that she doesn't have to be ashamed just because her half-siblings fall into certain expectations. you've shown her that she should be able to be her own person without the restraints of being a daughter of aphrodite. and she might not always express it, but she's entirely grateful for that. for you. after all, we're all just fools in love, and you're the soul who showed her what love should truly be like.
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jason grace
ugh, the chivalry radiating off this man is crazyy.
whenever you talk to jason, he always has a way of letting you know that he's listening to your every word. even if he's occupied with something else, he'll make a point to let you know that he is paying attention to you. he'll immediately direct his gaze towards you, and abandon whatever task he was previously engaged in, leaning in closer to you the longer you speak.
even if you try to cut your story short or apologize for repeating yourself, jason will NEVER rush you or make you feel uncomfortable. instead, he'll hold you close with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, encouraging you to keep talking and sharing your thoughts. because jason doesn't mind hearing the same stories over and over again, as long as they're coming from you. <33
and even though he's always paying full attention whenever you speak, his gaze always seems to settle on your lips. and when you smile or laugh, he's completely mesmerized, unable to take his eyes off of you !! like you can LITERALLY see his eyes widen and his lips part, as if he can't believe how beautiful you are, because he can't get enough of you.
jason is the epitome of a gentleman FR!! 🗣️🗣️ he never fails to open doors for you, give you his jacket when you're cold, and even offer his hand as you make your way down the last few steps of the stairs. but that's only the surface level, we haven't even gotten to the real deal yet okayyy??
if you so much as utter a complaint about your feet aching or your shoes being too uncomfortable, he's already kneeling down, his broad back facing you with his hands gesturing for you to climb on for a piggy-back ride. he'll be running around camp like a lunatic, carrying you on his back or in his arms, but he doesn't care because he always puts your comfort and safety first !!
and if you happen to be walking through a cramped space with him in front of you, he effortlessly lifts you up by your arms so you can pass through without any trouble! what's even more impressive is jason's lightning-fast reflexes, especially when it comes to protecting you. if something is about to fall on you, he's always there to catch it before it can even graze you. and if you happen to trip, he swiftly catches you in his arms without making a fuss !!
his protective nature extends to the battlefield as well. even though he knows you're more than capable of defending yourself, he fights alongside you, ready to shield you from ANY harm.
whenever you hug jason, you always get lifted off the ground a few inches. like he almost doesn't realize he's doing it as he hoists you up off the ground with EASE. while you're just dangling from his arms LMAOO.
jason never fails to express his love for you verbally every day, but he also has a way of communicating it without speaking a word. he'll naturally reaches for your hand under the table, stealing quick kisses on your shoulder when no one is watching. even the way he touches you lingers, like he doesn't want to let go. and when you catch him gazing at you, and the transition of his grin to a subtle smirk AURGHJ!!
even before you started dating, jason fell for you and is honestly still falling, wanting you more and more with each passing day. all your flaws, mistakes, and imperfections included, he wants you. and only you.
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hazel levesque
hazel is the best gf ever!!! she hypes you up every chance she gets. like, she literally never misses an opportunity to boost your confidence. she finds beauty in the most subtle things, like the tiniest ring on your finger, and truly believes that you look absolutely stunning in it, even if it's not her personal taste since she grew up in a different era. but she's so open to exploring new fashion styles and modern ideas for you, and also so that you guys can match. <33
whenever hazel leans in to kiss you, there's a touch of hesitancy in her movements. not because she doesn't want to kiss you !! she just wants to make sure you're comfortable. :(( she's clearly trying to gauge your reaction and make sure that everything is going well.
she worries that maybe she was too rough last time, (SHE WASN'T AT ALL LMAOO) or that she's moving too slowly this time around. you honestly find it cute how she worries about such small things, and in response, you wrap your arms around her and kiss her back, immediately dispersing ALL her concerns. <33
hazel is soo pretty in red lipstick omg. the way she leaves lipstick prints on your cheeks and playfully pecks at the skin on your neck while laughing is so cute!
hazel wants the absolute best for you! but don't underestimate her, this is the same girl who died to stop gaea at 13, okay? she's so brave. she respects all your boundaries and will always prioritize your safety and comfort first!
horseback riding. all the time. hazel is the only valid horsegirl. she'll go on and on about them, from their behavior and habits to their history.. but nothing makes her happier than seeing you genuinely interested in what she has to say!! she feels so special around you. :(( you've spend countless afternoons horseback riding with hazel. it's definitely one of your favorite pastimes now.
hehe i can definitely see you sharing your interests to her, and even introducing her to modern music/bands. it's probably a shock for hazel to switch time periods and witness the evolution of music. like, there are times when modern songs makes her all shy and stuff. but your love for it has definitely been able to sway her perspectives! she probably picks up matching band shirts or records as souvenirs when returning from her quests. <33
hazel loves hugs !! they often begin with excitement, both of you giggling like children. but as time passes, the embrace transforms into a soft and quiet hold. there's always a subtle competition between the two of you to see who will let go first, and hazel always emerges as the winner. <33
if forever does exist, hazel wants it to be you. her heart is overflowing with a million emotions, all of which are directed towards you. through your gentle guidance, she's learned to appreciate the beauty in even the most ordinary moments. the thought of losing you is unbearable. she never wants to let go of you. not now. not ever.
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frank zhang
your guys' first date was definitely at an arcade/amusement park! he's hardcore blushing the entire time, while you totally crush him at all the activities. (he let you win) and, to top it off, he made sure to win you some impressive, oversized stuffed animals at the end!!
frank would pay close attention to all the details about you. like he literally knows stuff that you don't even remember telling him. 💀 even if you mention something in passing conversation, he'll make a mental note of it and remember it later on.
protective!frank standing up for others. anyone he cares about, including his friends and you. :(( he's not an angry person, sometimes he's even a little timid, so seeing him all loyal & passionate for those he loves really makes your heart swell up.
frank also leaves you sweet little notes frequently, and goes out of his way to get you lunch or anything else you might need !! sometimes after a long day, he'll come up behind you and wrap his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder and asking about your day. <33
bear hugs are frank's thing. both literally and figuratively. he's the kinda person who would wrap his arms around you, and if you don't object, he'll keep holding you tightly while taking a few steps to maintain balance. and before you know it, you'll both be tumbling onto the couch or his bed, with his chest breaking your fall. but instead of feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable, both of you start laughing, with frank hugging your waist even tighter in affection. <33
frank is really protective but in a subtle, non-verbal way. like, he has a habit of wordlessly moving you to the safer side of the sidewalk. and, even if it is not yet dark outside, frank will insist on walking you home, making sure that you arrive safely. he doesn't want to be overbearing, but he's also just genuinely concerned about your safety. :((
frank isn't really a pda guy, but he absolutely adores hand holding! it's a subtle way of indicating that he's yours and you're his. also, there's just something comforting about the feeling of your palm against his, and he finds himself tracing the curvatures of your hand as like it's a map he's trying to memorize. it's a small gesture, but it means the world to him !!
frank does almost every subtle manner. oh, you need a hair tie? he's pulling off one of yours from his wrist. having trouble carrying groceries? he's already there. it's like he has a 6th sense for when you're even slightly uncomfortable.
you're frank's safe place. he can literally feel his worries and fears melt away as you hold each other. you're all he ever wanted love to be, and he knows that as long as he lives, he'll love you.
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uchihaxitachi · 7 months ago
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itachi’s june -> day 14: first born
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i see itachi as a girl dad so bad. like, just the thought of him with your first born and a girl makes my heart jump. <3 when you first took the pregnancy test and it came out positive, both you and itachi were shocked. it wasn’t something you had been actively planning on. “uhm, maybe i should try another one. sometimes these are just flukes.” you pouted, and itachi chuckled, he knows you’re nervous. so is he, but at least he’s good at not letting it show to his face.
“of course, angel. whatever makes you ease up your worries.” he hums, kissing your forehead deeply and waiting outside. when you tell him that the second test is also positive, itachi scans your features. he wants to see if you have any thought whatsoever to not have this child. that’s okay, he can’t force you to carry something for nine months you don’t want to. as much as itachi is elated at the idea, your consent matters just as much.
imagine his heart fulfilling joy when you do seem excited and smile, “we’re having a baby, itachi.” you chirped, and he shuts you up by smashing his lips against yours. pinning you against the wall and breathy chuckles echoing your shared bedroom.
throughout the pregnancy itachi has been nothing but the perfect human being for you, taking care of your morning sickness, your cravings even if it is 2 am in the morning, helping you exercise, validating your heinous mood swings because he knows how hard it is for his babygirl. (you).
when you do end up giving birth to the most beautiful little girl itachi has seen, his eyes gloss up. he’s there with you the whole time. your push present being another tennis band to your wedding ring. he holds her, softly, just watching her facial features contort when she yawns. oh itachi is whipped.
of course he brings his toddler daughter flowers whenever he brings you flowers, forehead kisses are a must whenever he’s waking her up. she feels so comfortable around itachi hugging him is her solace. there are times when you get tired of work and just exhausted in general, that’s when itachi takes the role of tending to her and helping her sleep.
whenever you go shopping with your toddler daughter she would try on all the dresses and show them to itachi 🥺🥺 with a twirl. “dadda likey?” she hums and itachi grins back, “loves it, suits my princess.” the only time you see this man babytalking is when he’s talking to your daughter. <3
lmfao when she grows up :3 and starts to have crushes and stuff itachi is fuming lmfaooo he’s like. “little one, who was the guy who just dropped you home? a boy?” unbearable TwT the uchiha can be unbearable at times.
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storiesfromafan · 5 days ago
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Just His Best Friend
A/N: I am back with Mattheo and angst. The two go well together, haha. Maybe part two?
Pairing: Mattheo x Longing!Slytherin Reader
Warning/s: angst, spelling/grammer mistakes, briefly revised
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“I can’t imagine who I’d be without you in my life” were the greatest words to hear from Mattheo's lips, which held a warm smile.
Your heart skipped a beat. Tingles running up your spine. This was it. The moment you’d been waiting for. The last five years of friendship leading to this, Mattheo's confession. Finally hearing the words you’d been longing for, craving for. The validation that you were something more, something meaningful. And yet once more you were wrong...
“How could I be here without my best friend!” He sounded so pleased, the giddy chuckle leaving his mouth.
Your heart stopped, no longer skipping a beat. The tingles, doused with a wave of a cold chill down your spine. Five years of friendship, which was really longing and hoping on your part. Crashing down by just those words, his best friend. That validation for your place at his side, actually the space behind him. That seat at his side, his arm around them belonged to another. Any other that wasn’t you.
You forced a smile, hoping the crushing of your heart doesn’t show. “A-ah, yeah...right b-back at ya" you sputtered. Not really like you, but it’s all you could muster right now.
Your mind though, you could only imagine it as mini yous running around, screaming and cursing. Some throwing paper, while some kicked chairs or turning over desks. No doubt one was in a corner crying, bawling out their eyes. What you’d like to be doing, but remaining steadfast and strong.
Mattheo clapped you on the shoulder before something behind you caught his eye. The sly smirk that crossed his tempting lips told you all you needed, he’d spotted his next target. “I’ll catch up with you later (Y/N/N). I see someone begging for my attention”.
And with that he slipped past you. You stayed where you were, eyes looking to where the boy you loved once stood. You heard his cheeky hello, along with a sweet giggle. That snapped you out of your comatose state. Holding the strap of your bag for dear life, the last thing grounding you, you took off in a hurry. Back into the castle, back to the dungeons and back to your room.
You didn’t take in the halls or people you past, didn’t even make a snide comment when you bumped into any students. Your focus had been returning to your sanctum, your space. You were glad none of your room mates were there, for as soon as the door was closed, and your back against it did the tears fall. Big, warm tears cascaded down your face. Your face heating up from the humiliation and heartbreak.
Pansy and the other girls of your dorm room told you this would happen. The day would come when it finally reached heartbreak. That Mattheo wouldn’t see how you felt, how you cared for him. Or see how much you did for him. Rather he expected it now. And you had only yourself to blame. You had opportunities to shoot your shot. But you always crumbled, chickening out. If the moment wasn’t ruined by someone else, you’d always come up with an excuse to put it off. And look where it had gotten you. Best friend zoned.
The next two weeks you mopped and cried in bed. In class you remained blank, reserved even, almost on autopilot. You went through the motions, barely passing. And that was only because of Pansy. She was the one there for you, helping you and pushing you. After being the one to find you on the floor crying your eyes out, Pansy had said told you so but didn’t hesitate to hold you. You were grateful for that.
At the start of week three you were finishing getting ready to head to breakfast when Pansy stood by watching you. You didn’t even notice her, just putting on your cardigan before grabbing your bag. The moment you turned for the room door was when you finally noticed her. She stood there with a concerned look upon her face, her hands on her waist. You had a feeling where this would go, and weren’t looking forward to it.
“That’s it" Pansy started. “This has gone on for long enough. It’s time to move on”.
You flinched, knowing she was right and yet part of you couldn’t let him go. “I-I can’t”.
She sighed, arms dropping to her sides. “Yeah, you can. It might take time, but you have to start somewhere (Y/N/N). You can’t give him this power!”
The logic part of your brain agreed with her, while your broken heart protested. How could one just get over Mattheo Riddle? It wasn’t possible. The girls who want, long for him. The girls who’ve had him pine for him. And the girls who didn’t stand a chance – where you sat – dreamed for him. Mattheo was a parasite you couldn’t just remove, once infected you were like that for life.
“I-it’s not so easy, Pan...” you muttered, feeling like a child being scolded. And you kinda were.
Pansy moved to you, hands taking hold of your shoulders. Her eyes looking right into yours, and your soul. “I get it, really...but this isn’t good for you. The best way to get over a guy is the move on to another...”
The look on your face hearing her words was pure shock and horror. The suggestion of another guy was blasphemy. Who could be better than Mattheo? No one. Not to you, not to the girls who worship the ground he walks on. And you voiced that, minus the worshipping part.
“There are other guys, believe me. Ones who actually like you!” Pansy stated, as if it was common knowledge. But not to you. “There’s Patrick Darby in our year, he’s asked me about you before. Or Kellen Barlowe – in the year above us, who Mattheo detests! I know he would die to have you look at him!”
She went on to state a few more guys from your year or the next up, or other houses. Your head was swimming from the new information, the boys who like her. You’d never known this, never been presented with the opportunity of another. Of someone who wasn’t Mattheo. But could you do that? Just turn your back on your feelings? Yet could you continue to stand behind Mattheo, waiting for your chance, however long that could take?
“I-I...h-how?” You found yourself asking, all you could ask.
A soft smile formed on Pansy's lips. “Just start with a hi, maybe a conversation".
You nodded slowly, mulling over her suggestion. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was a start. You would try it her way. And if it didn’t work, you’d return to your solitude and misery. Back where you belonged.
True to your word to Pansy, you said hi and struck up a conversation with Kellen Barlowe. It was at lunch in The Great Hall, you were heading to Pansy when you noticed him smile at you. And you took that as a sign to take a leap. Awkwardly you had slowed down, before stopping by Kellen, who’s smile just widened.
“H-hi" you greeted. Simple and a little stupid really. But it worked.
“Hey (Y/N)” Kellen replied in a warm, airy tone. “Morning classes went well?”
You put on a smile, trying to be nice. Though you wanted to run away, for this didn’t feel right. It felt so, so wrong. Sure, the boy sitting before you was gorgeous, on the same level as Mattheo. But he wasn’t Mattheo. He didn’t have the chocolate brown eyes that held your attention. Nor did he have the brown messy curls that Mattheo has. But his green eyes and mousy blonde locks was still appealing, just didn’t have a lasting hold on you.
“T-they were alright...McGonagall was tough, as always" you supplied, with a sigh.
Kellen chuckled. “Yeah, she’s a tough nut to crack".
“How about your classes?” You enquired, feeling it only right to ask him the same question.
He sighed dramatically. “Absolutely draining. Snape was on the war path, not even us Slytherin’s were spared. If you have potions later, best be prepared".
You nodded, believing his words. “G-good to know, thanks".
A bit more small talk was made before you moved on, quickly scurrying to Pansy. As soon as you took your seat did the girl bombarded you with questions, as well as praise to have followed her advice. Not long after did a familiar body fall into the seat across from you both. Mattheo looking to you with a raised eyebrow.
“Friends with Barlowe, huh?” Came his offended tone, shocking you.
“A-ah, wouldn’t s-say that" you replied. “I was just being nice...”
He nodded. “Hmmm, alright. But keep in mind Barlowe goes through girls like socks".
Pansy laughed. “You’re one to talk, you’re worse than him!”
Mattheo rolled his eyes. “Please, I’m not like him, nor am I worse!”
That fired up Pansy. She and Mattheo going back and forth, voices rising with every second. You don’t know what came over you, or why you did it. But you slammed your hands on the table, rising to your feet. Both parties stopped their bickering, eyes flying to you. You took a deep breath, realising that frustration and anger got the better of you. But you couldn’t shy away now. Instead you cast a quick look to Pansy, before moving to Mattheo, where your eyes stayed. You hoped he saw how upset you were, he needed to know this wasn’t right. He couldn’t come in, trying to dictate what you can and can’t do.
“Matty, you don’t get a say in who I say hi to, or who I have a conversation with" you took a deep breath before releasing it. “I-I can do what I want".
And with that you grabbed your bag, and headed for the hall’s doors. Lunch not even dished up, let alone eaten. None the less your appetite lost. You could feel the eyes on you as you made your escape. Of course you’d have an audience, a loud noise would get attention. The moment you left the large room did you feel the air return to your lungs, the weight of everything lifting. That moment was broken when a hand grabbed your upper arm, causing you to jump.
“Easy (Y/N)” came a soft, airy voice.
Upon turning to the new presence, you were surprised to find Kellen. He looked concerned but wore a faint smile. Wanting to not come off as suffocating or over bearing. You could see the questions in his eyes, those forest green orbs of his.
“You alright?” He asked in a tender voice.
You nodded, remaining silent. Unsure if you could be convincing in a lie. As you weren’t all right. You weren’t sure how you were feeling. That was the first time you’d done that, stood up and made a scene. You were so fucked up right now.
“Hey" came Kellen's voice, face moving closer. “It’s alright, don’t cry".
You brought a hand up, and sure enough there were a few fallen tears. Turning away you wiped them away in a hurry, embarrassed to be caught like this. You weren’t supposed to cry outside your room. This was not how it was supposed to be. Either you shouldn’t have spoken to Kellen, or Mattheo could have just let you be. Maybe then you wouldn’t be standing here like an idiot, fighting back tears.
Kellen moved around to stand before you, hands on your shoulders. Those forest green eyes of his peering into yours, concern shining in them. “It’s alright, you’re alright” – he looked back to The Great Hall for a moment – “come on, let’s get out of here, yeah?”
Slowly you nodded, letting the older boy lead you from the doors of The Great Hall, down a hall and off to a courtyard. Away from those in The Great Hall, and those chocolate browns of Mattheo Riddle. Who’d headed for you, but stopped upon seeing you with Kellen. And how he had his hands on you.
Seeing that sight, Kellen so close to you, and you letting him be. It stirred something in Mattheo. Something he hadn’t felt before. Sure, he hated the male who pulled you away. But this was jealousy, the green eyes monster. Yet, why was Mattheo jealous? Why would he be jealous of Barlowe? Maybe it was the way he looked at you, was close to you just now. Whatever it was, Mattheo did not like it. At all.
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 month ago
Note
/ book 7 spoilers
*politely grabs you by your shoulders* UEUEUEUJQKXNkxnsnnanzndnsmsmfmdmsmdm
hello... sorry... Leona rant... the guys theorizing that Kifaji stops Leona in his dream bc deeply he'd wish for someone to stop him... i think im going to cry. i wonder if him being such a bad king in his dream has to do with his own feelings- meaning he doesn't believe he'd be a good king? Idia explained that maybe Leona purposefully chose his dream to play out in a more realistic way, which would mean having consequences and such... even if it would be painful, he still went with it...
I think you had a post about this iirc, but this rlly pushes me to further believe that what Leona craves is valid recognition— people recognizing him for who he is and what he does, not idolizing him, just valuing him genuinely. I think there in reality he craves more that than the "king" title specifically— that's why the scene where Jack says that "he's not your (the shadows) king, he's our DORM LEADER" felt so special to me, bc Jack is doing exactly that. he's valuing him for being his dorm leader, a title Leona earned for himself. I think that ultimately that'd be more valuable for him than the king title itself, since one "is born" to fulfill that goal (and the whole reason he isn't king is because he was born second, again, things out of his control—) I think that's why this dream Leona isn't satisfied w having become king, bc at the end of the day he only got there bc Falena/Cheka died here. Some people theorize he pulled Scar tactics in the dream, but regardless of that, I don't think the "nature" of the position itself would satisfy his need to be seen, to be genuinely valued. BC WHAT HE CRAVES IS NOT *JUST* TO BE KING, IT'S TO BE RESPECTED FOR THE THINGS HE ACCOMPLISHED... also more proof that if he wants to help out in his country he needs to do it alongside Falena's ideals, bc apparently the only good thing his reign brought in his dream was... no more inflation 😭😭😭 which is good (guy who lives somewhere with too much inflation), but I mean... I think I'd prefer still having nature 😭😭😭
ALSO... and the way he SACRIFICES HIMSELF for Ruggie... AND THROWS HIMSELF TO THE DARKNESS... also his confrontation w his overblot feels much more... depressing? than the others'? ☹️ And and and... The line about him deciding the place he'll live in... ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ I'm in tears. Pls help.
and at the end he DID know he was dreaming, and he also suspected it before being 100% sure. so I guess our prediction was kind of right 😭
also UHM. THE OUTFIT??? AHHH URNWKDNFKSNSKSKKDKjfjwnnzdn sorry it's. the least important thing of what I wanted to say but he lOOKS SO PERFECT AHHH
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[My full thoughts on the book 7 part 11 Leona update here!]
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*is grabbed out of nowhere* 🧍‍♂️
NO BECAUSE I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING... dream!Kifaji is the only NPC/darkness in the dreams that didn't aggro and attack us 😭 In fact, he actively protects us and begs Leona to "wake up", continuously acting as the voice of reason the entire time... AND THEN SMILING AT THE END AND PRAISING "HIS KING" WHEN LEONA FINALLY FULLY WAKES UP... I feel like that definitely is not a happy coincidence. Deep down... some part of Leona's subconscious might have realized something was wrong, and maybe that manifested as Kifaji, the one person in his memories that could stand up to him. Not just because Kifaji is a stubborn old guy (although he is), not because he seems to be a competent mage, but because he must have been Leona's one and only friend and guardian growing up in the palace where the servants always shit talked him and compared him to his older brother. He raised Leona. He played with Leona. He encouraged Leona when his prince didn't believe in himself. He tried so hard to keep Leona from straying. He sees the goodness in Leona. He knows how intelligent Leona can be and how this can save their country. It makes total sense that Kifaji would be the form Leona's conscience assumes.
I feel like dream!Kifaji could also represent... that last shred of hope that Leona has for himself 💀 As late as book 6 of the main story, Leona states that Jamil isn't like him, hinting that while he believes Jamil has the capacity to change and be a better person, he doesn't have that same faith for himself. AND MAN, THAT SHIT WAS HEARTBREAKING OTL Then, entering his dream in book 7, we see just how deep that despair truly runs. Malleus promised everyone happy dreams, didn't he? And Leona has theoretically been given everything he has supposedly ever wanted. The crown, his kingdom, the power to enact all of the policies and laws he believes would benefit his people, wealth for his country, etc. But that has bled the country of its resources, made the people resent him--and he's still left bitter and unfulfilled, alone in the palace. This isn't what happiness truly looks like, but it sadly might be what Leona believes Sunset Savanna is destined for if he's left in charge of it. (Idia likens the dream to a sandbox game, and Leona, being the owner of it, decided to play it "realistically".) He can only become king if the rest of his family dies or goes missing. (This is even more morbid if you believe the headcanon that Leona committed fratricide and murdered/convinced Cheka to run away.) He'll achieve his goals, but at the cost of isolating himself and making himself a pariah. He and his people will starve to death. Everything he touches will crumble into sand. That's all he and his unique magic are good for, anyway. Destroying things, never creating or building them. AND HE STILL CONTINUES TO EXIST IN THIS WASTELAND, ACTING LIKE HE'S IN THE RIGHT AND LIVING IN DENIAL THAT ANY OF THIS IS HIS FAULT... while Kifaji, his conscience, his hope, is right there trying to get him to see reason.
Leona's dream was such a shock to see right after Jack and Ruggie's. The contrast between how he views himself and his rule vs how his dorm members see him and his rule is like NIGHT AND DAY. You got Jack here thinking of Leona as an upstanding and honorable dorm leader and team captain and Ruggie who dreams of a Leona who graduates and betters the lives of the entire country and the less fortunate by building schools and establishing magift/spelldrive clubs (which enhance Sunset Savanna's soft power). Then you have... whatever hellscape Leona has conjured up 😭 It's so sad that Leona pictured RUGGIE as being one of his most devoted haters too. Yeah, Ruggie sometimes complains about Leona running him ragged and how rich people have it easy compared to him, but Ruggie has never expressed this level of vitriol towards Leona before... yet in his own darn dream, Leona believes Ruggie would HATE him and try to overthrow him when that couldn’t be further from the truth. In Ruggie’s dream, he hasn’t even MET Leona before but still looks up to him for what he has accomplished and done to help the poor and the downtrodded 😭
I have mentioned before that I don't believe Leona needs to become an actual king in order to be happy (that post here!), and I think this most recent update proved my point. Jack points it out to us (in case we didn't already put together) that Leona is still miserable in spite of being gifted the crown and kingdom. Leona is still not satisfied. Even if he becomes king, he won't be satisfied. Even if he obtains everything he wants, he won't feel fulfilled. Never, ever, ever. AND THAT MAKES SENSE, because what Leona REALLY wanted all along wasn't the crown but the acknowledgement of his skills and talents... "proof" of his worth as an individual. I feel like the word "king" is thrown around a lot in regards to Leona, both in fandom and within his own dorm (Ruggie, Jack, etc. refer to him as their "king" quite often). However, it's not "king" that holds weight to Leona... it's everything that comes associated with the title. Respect, validation, love. These are all the things Leona got so little of as a child, which is why he fixates on them now. He has even expressed that he doesn't value the title of king if you didn't earn that title to begin with, which just goes to show that he wants to be able to prove himself and be seen for it. AND THE SAVANACLAW STUDENTS DO, AAAAAAAHHHAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHhHhhhHhhhhh OTL JUST LIKE JACK SAID, HE'S THEIR DORM LEADER...
As dark as Leona's dream was, I appreciate it a lot for its realistic depiction of... Leona's worse tendencies... along with a potential future under his command. I often see people claiming that Leona would be a far better ruler for Sunset Savanna than Falena is. And to that, well... I'd say look at Leona's dream and some of the points brought up in it. I don't think his rule would be as terrible as what we see in the dream, HOWEVER. The dream mentions many shortcomings of Leona as a ruler, such as disregarding traditions and refusing to listen to advisors and input from the people. This would naturally make him unpopular with the country he serves, and it certainly doesn't help that he is not amicable either. These are only a few points I brought up in my extensive post comparing Leona and Falena's ruling styles, which I would highly recommend reading. I want to stress that I am in no way saying Leona would be a bad ruler. I believe that he and Falena compensate for each other's weaknesses. This is why I feel that the best solution isn't a blanket "X brother would be better than Y brother!", but rather that they should work as a team and make the best use of each other's strengths.
adfaiifvifiaef efoubfia LEONA SACRIFICING HIMSELF FOR RUGGIE I PRETTY MUCH SAW COMING 😭 Bro had to do something to make up for almost sanding him in book 2...
I really glossed over Leona's big confrontation with his Phantom in my initial reaction post, so I'd like to take the time to comment more on it here. A lot of what Leona tells his Phantom I felt was also the kind of advice he gave Jamil in book 6 (which only further reinforces the idea that he had hope for Jamil but not for himself). He dislikes people who complain about their situation but do nothing to change the circumstances... ALL TRUE OF BOTH HIM AND JAMIL. I think what makes Leona’s confrontation so different from the others we’ve seen so far is that while the others are more triumphant/telling the Phantoms how they’ve grown… Leona’s is sort of resigned? Like he still sees his negative traits (his pride, his underhandedness, etc.) and talks about how he has changed as a person but he also admits that this is his fault, that this bitterness and desire to be king will always remain will him. That’s fine—because Leona tells that darkness within himself that he’ll accept it too. (Jack does the same; his senpai are pretty awful but he chooses to accept them as they are.) I really loved that Leona swore to himself he’ll find his own throne and country… “Someday, for sure…!” It feels so hopeful after all that depressing stuff 😢 Reclaiming bis autonomy… Weh…………
asdbihabidbasdsa I still wish they had done a little more with Leona “knowing” it was a dream... Maybe making that "Kifaji is that part of Leona" more obvious or clearly stated because I feel like it could sail over people's heads? It might have also been interesting to see the blot try to suppress him like he's a feral beast that has to be kept under control 😔
DB SDABILASFIADFIAF tHAT DFUCKIBG SJHFBLADAD KING!L*ONa OUTFIT OTL TRHIS SI WHAT A MAN IN A SUIT IWiTH A HLAF CAPE THING AND SLICKED BACK HAIR DOES TO MEDFSKNLABIDBFIABIPEAFFQEIPYIBEUOF8TQEVOpfSBPsnjg 26871t9mg9qepgpeqomp9qvda bipivpada iegi THE EyE LOOK TOO ASDBLABSDSFIAFDI IT'S SCO CUn T Y AKJFHLBADGLBIHAGEIHGABIADGILBHWHICH IS REALLY WEIR FOR ME TO SAY ECUASE I USUALYL THINK THESE KINDS O EYE LOOKS ARE WAY TOO MUCH... . . ..... . . ........ . . .. . AnD TGE ExPOSED fOREHEADvv???!?!!!!!? HELLO ???!!!!!’mmcnNCCCVvV,cvvv???!!!!’nxhVahahshjwhzttTyqhwiau iTm anBEHGinG TO BE k!ssrd TOYcHEDF 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
THIS RICH BITCH IS OVER HERE IN A FANCY SU i TS 4 GOLD NECKLACES AND 3 RINGS WHILE HIS PEOPLE STARVE??????? DAMN NO WONDER WHY THEY WANNA EAT TH E RICH.
Side note: a friend pointed out that Leona's coat is basically a reused Octavinelle dorm uniform asset and, after checking... yeah, it basically is 😭 NOT THAT THERE'S ANYHTING WRONG WIH THAT, I just find it ironic because (in my own pseudo-lore) it reads like him trying so hard to be like J word and get my attention 💀💀💀 I AM AFRAID HE ATE AND LEFT NOC RUBMSN....
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bvnnywrites · 1 year ago
Text
Still Waters Run Deep
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Chapter 2: Überprüfen
PAIRING: Eldritch!König x Reader
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the very long wait. My body gave out on stress and I passed out the side of the road this Monday on my way home. Also, I was manic and I had an episode yesterday so yayeet. Also, I read all your comments in the last chapter and asvbhbvdvdhdhfhv I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS. THANK YOU SO MUCH RAHHHHHH. Anyways, enjoy the chapter! UwU
WARNING: NON-CON/DUB-CON, DARK, SMUT, NSFW, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Fingering, Stomach Bulge, Age Gap, Unprotected Sex, Cockwarming, Implied Discharge, Power Imbalance, Abuse of Authority, No Beta Reader, Dom! König, Size Kink, Size Difference, Cannibalism, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Older!König, Eldritch!König, Monster!König, Masturbation, Dark Romance, Blood and Gore, Violence, Monsterfucking
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THE ONLY INTERESTING THING TO DO AT KORTAC, if he wasn’t out and about in the field, was apparently dwelling in the thought of committing fraternization – and König chided himself that he was better than this.
But there’s nothing to worry about. Of course, he isn’t losing sleep overthinking the eager look on your face to get in his good graces—his approval and validation. No. he isn’t staying up late, seeing your adorable pouty lips and sweet-looking eyes glancing up at him because you’re too small whether you stood or sat. Especially, the softness of your flesh when he held your chin to make you look at him, or the warmth of your body when he soothed you from seeing those disgusting pictures.
König definitely does not want to know every detail of your life—what your flesh taste like pressed against his tongue, what it feels like as the tentacles on his face roam your body and leaving slick in its trail, what you like or hate, what blood type you have, how soft your hair is when he’s gripping it in his fingers while he’s shoving his cock deep in your little cunt, what your favorite position in bed is, what it feels like to have your pussy milking him desperately as he breeds you again and again until you’re pregnant with his children.
No.
No.
Who the hell was he kidding?
He’s is a fucking pervert—the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
What he’s doing is fucking disgusting and he can’t believe that he’s thinking this way about you. God, König knows he’s a thousand shades of fucked up, but he did not expect to be like this. The colonel never expected he’d go this fucking low. He doesn’t want to be like he’s father—a disgusting fucker who was selfish and sick in the head—but he can’t help but fall straight down the rabbit hole and into the maws of the abyss of his own wicked desires.
König is a fucking disgusting creep because you’re so sweet, calm and understanding when he threw the first few layers of ugliness from his soul, dumping it on your lap, and you so graciously comforted him. He is disgusting because you’re literally twenty-three years younger than him, old enough to be his daughter, and yet your eagerness to obtain his approval has him losing his shit. You have him losing his morals. The softness of your skin has him wanting more, his teeth clenched with poorly contained desire, and yet he demands more – to be closer, to reach into the depths of your soul and twist it until you’re as fucked up as he is—craving him the way he craves you. You have him understanding why his father did what he did because now he thinks that maybe the sick fuck couldn’t control himself in the presence of his ‘Aphrodite’.
And you… you were König’s ‘Aphrodite’—the embodiment of his desires, both good and bad.
He is a fucking pervert because you were eager to help him in this manhunt for the so-called beast. Eager and desperate to advance in the ranks of the military – that’s all you were probably hoping, but instead of following the logical side, König had let himself be swayed by the waves of his depravity.
König was always proud of his self-control – his more human nature that he had inherited from his beloved mother. He never thought the day would come where these sickening thoughts would run in his mind. He was a monster, yes, but nature does have a way of being more predominant than nurture. At least, in this case. It didn’t even matter that his mother – who despised and loved him at the same time – had engrained the Lord’s teachings into his head or the holy scriptures that she would beat into his flesh.
All those teachings went to waste because at the end of the day, he was his father’s son.
He could see the disappointing and disgusted look on his mother’s face right now.
But all that washes away when his mind comforts him with the thoughts of you. The way your pretty eyes look up at him through long lashes, the way your voice addresses him has desire pumping in König’s veins. Because somehow, when it comes to you, he feels calm as he feels the need to lash out. He feels the need to bite and claw at you, marking you as his own little wife to love and to fuck. He wants to rip off his mask in front of you and make you braid his hair and weave flowers into it because you called him ‘beautiful’, wants to let one of his tentacles slither around your neck while he bites you and marks you as his. His little and eager to please mate—his beloved wife-to-be.
He can still see your pouty face, as if you’re there right in front of him. Your pretty wide eyes looking up at him—looking at him as if he wasn’t a disgusting monster—like an actual breathing person. Your scent lingers in his nose for the past two days. You smelled delicious – divine, if he’s honest. You reeked of the shower gel that you use,  and that suffocating perfume—or is it a cologne?—that you’re using to make yourself fresh. Several thoughts ran in his head, wanting nothing more than to smother you in his scent. Rubbing his smell all over you, until every single being—doesn’t matter if mortal or not—would know that you’re his.
The thought itself had his cock twitching more than it did before. It’s throbbing hard, leaking precum all over his hand as he pumps it with his fist while the other grips the sheets. Judging from your smaller form against his, you’d definitely be fucking tight, which was why he was gripping it mercilessly. The pictures of pin-up girls had long been discarded. He doesn’t need those when he has your pretty face, adorable ass, and alluring scent engraved in his mind. He’s a fucking perverted old dog… and it was all because of you.
König wants to have you on his knees before him. Relieving him of his stress by wrapping your adorable lips around the head of his dick, soft tongue lapping at the precum he’s making as if you’re a goddess and the gushing liquid was ambrosia—the very thing you needed to live.
He wants to take care of you, cradle you in his arms and pepper your face with kisses and show you how much he can just provide for you—KorTac isn’t cheap in their payments, and he is one of their best mercenaries they have, not counting the huge mess he has made that his superiors are ordering him to clean up. He was too valuable for them to lose, so they’re just asking him to wipe away the evidence and pin the blame on some poor soldier who was there at the wrong place at the right time.
König wants nothing more than to hold you close. He can’t even think about letting you fall in the grasp of another man—whether they be as old as him or young as your age, whichever you prefer—because you are fragile as you are gullible. He can tell by the way your eyes glimmer at him or the kindness that blossoms on your face whenever you cater to the soldiers under your command, acting as if you’re a mother to them. He wants you to be his. His little, beloved wife. Waiting for him in the house he’d buy for you in Hallstatt or maybe he’d catch you walking along the shoreline of the lake while you’re telling stories of yours and his love story to his unborn child that grows in your womb.
By God König wanted you more than anything.
He’s thinking of putting you on your knees, preferably on his bed so it wouldn’t make you uncomfortable in the long run, so you can be comfortable while he shoves his cock down your throat. Your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, little whines and moans vibrating from you and on to his length and muffled from how strong his thrusts are inside your tight, wet, and warm mouth.
 Your face would be messy, mascara running down your cheeks, if you had any, and lip gloss smeared and staining his cock. And König would try to be gentle, so he wouldn’t end up breaking you, but it’d be impossible when you’re so eager to please him. You’d have trouble barking out orders and speaking normally, because he knows he’d wreck your throat by the time he’s done with you.
König is fantasizing about it—having you in such a state, making use of your delicate mouth and moving tongue.
But guilt flashes across his mind. No. No, he couldn’t do that to you. You’re a fragile little thing—not to mention a human. You’re like an adorable little mouse beneath him. Breaking you would break him too—hurting you would hurt him too.
He is a worthless monster, a disgusting being that should be shot dead for just thinking of you—his klein hase—like this. That woman who read his future was right. He was depraved. He’d ruin you…
But God have mercy on him because he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to back the fuck away from you.
Your name falling from his lips like a prayer, chanting your name as if you’d be able to save him from eternal damnation – and maybe you could, in your own human way. A primal and dark urge to have you in his full mercy, waiting for him to claim you. He… He just wants to be accepted by people, to be welcomed by his peers, but none of it matters now because he just wants to be accepted by you. He’s panting and groaning, pumping his dick several times, chasing that climax. He is shamelessly hard, cock angry as it's about to burst.
König feels dirty for this. He felt like a teenage boy who’s jerking off to his crush. And despite that, he’s imagining you sucking on his cock or having your forehead pressed against his, whispering how much you love him and how you can’t wait to be filled with his cock. He imagines your cum-drunk expression, eyes glazed as your head is muddled and filled with nothing but pleasure, and that makes him cum; thick ropes of white shooting out from the tip, while his cock pulsates as he pumps it continuously before gradually slowing to a halt.
He keeps cumming, more than he usually does. The white, thick liquid staining his abdomen, pants, and sheets. He moans, biting his lips in a poor attempt to conceal his pathetic whimpers. His release covering his hand—sticky and disgustingly warm. Bless KorTac for allowing him and other high-ranking superiors to have their own room, because he knows goddamn well that he won’t be able to commit such sinful acts in communal barracks.
Post-nut clarity hits him hard, almost the same way his mother would, and he’s shameful for what he had just done. The two of you barely know each other, only getting information about you out of your files, and yet he was infatuated with you the moment you arrived on KorTac that sunny day. And yet he fell in love completely in just a matter of two days after talking with you.
He wants to resent you for what you made him do. He wants to worship you and mark your body with his marks. He wants to be left alone—preferably in your arms while you stroke his hair and look at him lovingly because no one ever looked at him the same way you do.
“Mein Gott, Shatz. What are you doing to me, liebling?”
König pants, letting his head fall back into the pillow as he sighed. His muscles relaxed, so much that he feels like he’s going to be one with the mattress. He lays there for a bit in his own bodily fluids before he got up to clean himself and get changed, replacing the sheets with cleaner ones.
“Colonel, are you there?”
Your soft voice came to his ears, making him stop in his tracks. Was he delusional to the point that he’s imagining your voice? He’s losing it. He’s definitely losing it because no way in hell did you sought him out at—he glances at his clock and sees that it’s 24:58 on a Wednesday—this late in the night. König ignores the voice, opting to throw himself back into the bed, cuddling his pillows and imagining that it’s you.
“Colonel?” Your voice echoes, followed by a soft knock. “Sir? This is very important, I’m sorry.”
Oh. Oh. No, he’s not actually hearing things. You’re actually outside his door. König wore his mask, covering his ugliness because he didn’t want to scare a pretty little thing like you. It would be too soon for you to see his face. It’d be like putting a frog straight in boiling water instead of heating it up little by little.
He rushed to fix the cloth over his head, zipping and buttoning his pants. König almost tore the bolts of his door just to immediately see you, and when he swung the door open—almost ripping it off the hinges—he saw you standing there with several dossiers in your arms. Your pretty doe-like eyes, the ones he fantasized about as he came literally just seconds ago, looks up at him with a sheepish gaze. You smile apologetically up at him, neck craning to properly look at him. He sees the way your eyes glanced at his shirtless torso before flickering up to look at him.
Were you attracted to him the same way he is to you?
Did your cunt also drip at the thought of him, the same way his cock throbs at the mere thought of you? Did you also touch yourself when you were alone the past two days after you two spoke to one another? Did you also call out his name? Whimpering and panting as you flicked your clit and plunged your tiny fingers in your weeping pussy–
“Sorry to disturb you so late at night, I was ordered to give you these documents. Horangi said that I deliver these to you because it needs your immediate approval, sir.”
You say to him, spouting out your reasons and he can see that you’re doing so in hopes of not angering him because you think you’ve disturbed his sleep. How adorable. König keeps a note to himself to tell Horangi not to let you out this late at night; he doesn’t want you being suspected as the killer. Your cheeks are slightly red, and König finds red pretty on your face. So much so that he wants to just grab your squishy cheeks and pepper it with kisses. Maybe nibble on it affectionately.
“It’s alright. No worries. Come in, Schatz.”
He moves aside, letting you in. And, oh boy, you eagerly entered his chambers as you rushed to the desk in his room. You bend over to place the heavy papers on his table, and he has half a mind to bend you over the desk, tear off your clothes, and fuck you stupid until all you can do is mewl and whine on his cock. The fact that he was imagining you on your knees, choking on his cock or pumping it with your hands while you whispered sweet nothing to him five minutes ago didn’t help the colonel either.
“I’m really sorry. I know you’re probably sleeping–”
“I said it is fine, liebling. No need to lose your head over nothing, ja?”
He finds it endearing that he calms you, that his words weigh that much for you. Usually, he’s used to barking orders, establishing things with force. And yet, when he speaks to you softly, reassuring you, that it’s alright if you waltz into his room—into his heart, even—and take whatever you wanted is a nice change of pace. He’d give more to you on your way out, because he loves you. He wants to marry you. He wants to take you back with him to Austria. You’re beautiful in gear, but König knows you’d be more beautiful in maternity dresses.
But he is sane about you. Completely sane about you. Totally normal. Absolutely nothing wrong with his state of mind regarding you. Everyone loves strongly, ja?
“It’s late at night, and I don’t want you to end up as a corpse in the halls, liebling. Let me escort you to your quarters, ja?” He says softly, walking up to you as he effortlessly moves the paperwork that were practically heavy for you. “It would ease me to sleep, knowing you’re safe and sound in your bed.” König pats your head.
“I… um… are you sure, sir?” You look at him, confused as you tilt your head in confusion. “You must be tired for the day, and I’ve already taken up much of your time.”
He ignored your words of worry as he grabbed his hoodie and wore it, finally giving you an ounce of mercy because as much as he loves the way your eyes are drawn to his torso, he also doesn’t want to give you cardiac arrest just because he was being too much for you.
Now that you’re here in his room, alone with the colonel, your heart hums nervously. You pray that no soldier would see you walk out of his room at this hour. Because you don’t want to burden him with silly rumors when he’s drowning in paperwork, focusing on an investigation, and you don't want to add up to his plate.
“I want to protect you from harm, Schatz. With me around, I doubt the beast would hurt you.”
Lies. No, wait. It’s not all lies, so basically just half-truths. With König around, the thing that lurks in the halls of KorTac would never hurt you, if anything it would worship the ground you walk on. Ask him to give you a town for your dowry, and he would enslave every continent on Earth and lay it by your feet—because the thing in the dark is him, and he loves you, and he wants to give you the world.
“Okay. I mean… if that’s okay with you, sir.”
“König.”
“What?”
“Please, mein liebe. I would appreciate it if we drop the formalities. We are comrades, ja?”
“Alright… as I was saying, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to burden you, König.”
“You’re not a burden. Not to me… not if it’s you, mein liebling.”
Your face scrunched up in confusion with the way he addressed you. It sounds like German, and the way he pronounces it makes you feel important. You don’t know German, and you kick yourself mentally because you wish you knew what he was calling you. For all you know, he’s calling you stupid affectionately. Because it took you weeks before you realize Izzy was calling you ‘stupid’ in the most affectionate way possible, so who’s to say the colonel is any different?
Before you can ask him what the words mean, he walks past you, opening the door for you. You walk out his room, thankful that no one’s there to see the two of you together.
You two walk down the halls, side by side. And poor little you.t you’re practically walking alongside the devil. The halls are empty, devoid of any soul. The trip to your room was quiet, no one is around, obviously. Soldiers were already asleep, and those who didn’t need to follow the curfew were chilling in their room or buried in neck-deep paperwork in their offices.
König wished he wasn’t the monster right now. He wished it was someone else, because he wants an opportunity for him to be a hero. To be a protector. To put up all of his pent-up aggression on someone else while you praise him for his strength and bravery. Maybe shower him with loving kisses, even. He wants something to try and kill him, just so he can show you that he can protect you from anything and anyone who would want to kill you, but then you stop in front of your room, making you turn and smile at him.
He loved your smile, the way your skin stretched and your adorable features twist just to give him a kind gesture
“Well. This is my stop.” You offer him a warm smile, unaware that it’s a currency that König could never afford yet you willingly give it to him for free. “Thank you… for looking out for me, König.”
“You’re a valuable soldier. It would be a shame if the thing lurking the base comes and kills you, Shatz—I want you safe.” He smiles at you beneath the mask, and the way his eyes crinkle is adorable and you know he’s smiling when they do that. “For as long as I’m able to, I’ll protect you, okay?”
His fingers gently held your chin, afraid that he’d break you at the slightest pressure. Your heart thumps in your chest. How could Roze or Izzy ever tell you to avoid him? He was practically a sweetheart. The colonel wanted you safe more than anything, isn’t that enough to warrant an inch of friendship from you?
Your eyes met his, those eyes that remind you of a storm at sea, are filled with nothing but warmth. It makes your breath hitch with how… oddly intimate it feels. You’re sure that if you weren’t a soldier, if the two of you met outside the forces, as civilians, without the medals and badges, you’re sure that he would’ve kissed you right then and there. It felt like your heart was about to explode – it’s too overwhelming.
So, you forced yourself to look away, stepping back and away from his grasps—from his touch. The absence of his touch makes your head clear without realizing it felt hazy in the first place. Such a strange effect that the colonel has on you.
König is displeased that you’ve put more distance between you two, but he doesn’t show it. He doesn’t want to make you worry, despite the adorable look on your face whenever you do look troubled. So, König opts to pat you on the head briefly.
“Sleep tight, Schatz. Don’t forget to lock your door, ja?”
“Alright, co–König. Good night.”
As you shut your doors, the monster outside stood there for a few more minutes before it walked away.
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“Did something good happen today, colonel?”
“None of your concern, major.”
Horangi was as sharp as ever, deep voice rumbling in his chest which intimidated most people around him. He was also the only one in the ranks to be able to speak casually with his superior – even though all of KorTac members usually avoid the giant soldier since they don’t really want to risk being discharged because they can’t function properly anymore. Horangi was the closest thing König has to a friend – which is kind of sad since a former gambling addict was the only one who can tolerate his shit and can understand him, even with his hood permanently on.
But Horangi was right.
Something good did happened.
You happened.
“That new lieutenant.” König starts. “If you’re sending her out to deliver files, tell me so I can escort the klein hase to her destination,” the colonel orders him, “I do not wish for her to be hurt.”
He spent the night awake, drinking and shredding it in the gym, trying so hard to put your adorable face out of his mind. You were out of sight alright, he hasn’t seen you running around base for the day because he’s too busy cooped up in his office and signing off the papers that you’ve given him hours ago, but the way your facial features would get distorted into something more adorable every single time he closed his eyes was highly concerning.
And he calms himself down in those wee hours the same way he did moments before you knocked on his door—jerking himself off until he felt nothing but self-hatred and the yearning of having your soft body pressed up against his.
“She’s a lieutenant, König.” Horangi snort. “You know I don’t recruit the weak.”
“She’s a woman,” König responds, “I’m not saying she’s weak, but most soldiers in base are men… I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.”
“She can handle herself.”
“And what of the monster on the loose?”
“Why? Do you plan on eating her next?”
“… Perhaps.”
König thinks for a moment. It should be easier if he would have an official legal reason to keep you by his side. Have your desk literally in his office so he can always keep his eyes on you, make sure no one lays a finger on you. König chucks his delirious thoughts to the lack of sleep, his fingers held down the paper while he wrote with his pen, but he wished he was holding you down and fucking into your wet cunt instead. He had those things before – overthinking about the tiniest details in someone he never truly knew, but understood that he can’t be with them—it could be his childhood crushes that he could never had thanks to his hideous appearance… and anxiety. It could be fantasizing about a pretty woman that caught his attention one day—imagining a life with them, multiple kids, and maybe a dog or two. König is aware that he has a problem , but not like… this; never dangerous.
The problem was that he knows he can have you.
Perhaps not in a traditional way. No. He can’t court you, that’s against the rules, and König wished nothing more that you were a civilian instead of a soldier. Because of your badge, he couldn’t be with you. He has half a mind to snatch you away and leave you as his perfect little bedmate because he knows you would never marry a monster like him, so abducting you was… reasonable. He can shower you with gifts in your captivity, decorating you with all the gold and jewel in the world while he’s fucking his child into you. He can have his men kidnap you, and yes, it is inhumane but you would be happy with him as his wife than a woman playing as a lieutenant. He would soothe your worries, fuck you every single hour with no rest until his cock rearranges your insides and impregnate you until he can convince you that he was the perfect mate for you, and then boom – happily ever after.
He knows that he can have you.
And it drives him crazy because he has never felt a strong urge to want  something so bad in his life. At this point, it’s not even a want. It’s a need. It’s hilarious how the two of you barely knew each other, but König was head over heels for you. He wants you by his side, whether you’re willing or not.
“Have you eaten?” Horangi asked.
“Not yet.” König answered.
That’s how he found himself sitting down at the mess hall, eating this food that was barely stimulating his senses. Horangi didn’t join him, said he had to attend a meeting with his soldiers since a complaint was given to him. It was good, actually. There was rice, three hamburger steak, gravy and mashed potatoes. They gave him a bigger serving simply because he was a giant man, it only made sense to give him enough sustenance to function. The food was delicious, but König didn’t really pay attention much to it.
Now that he has had a taste of you—you giving him kind words and smiling at him—König couldn’t get enough. You were like a drug. He want to pin you down, ravage you in bed, feel your walls clamp and spasm around his cock over and over again while you’re reduced to nothing but mewls with a cum-drunk expression the same way a drug addict heats heroin over a spoon before injecting it into their systems.
He needs you under him, panting and blushing, lips puffy from kisses, skin glazed with sweat and marked with his lips and teeth.
He needs you under him, creaming on his cock while he stretches out your cunt deliciously – taking him to the hilt like a good girl, cock forming a bulge on your abdomen. Juices dripping on to the sheets while he suckles on your nipple, his other hand groping your other tit.
He needs you under him–
“Colonel?”
König’s eyes snapped up and locked on to yours, and the concern scribbled on to them has his heart swooning over you once more. Your brows are turned upward with worry and you standing in front of the table he was sitting at, calling out to him has him wanting to put you on his lap and nuzzle against the crook of your neck. He smiles underneath the mask, seeing you again, blessing his eyes with your beauty.
“Ah, liebling. What brings you my way?”
“Roze is on a mission and Izzy is currently in a meeting, and every seat is taken. So, I was wondering if I can sit with you.”
“Of course, mein liebe. Your company is always welcome.”
You can sit on his lap.
You can sit on his face, ride him while he eats you out. Tongue lapping at your sweet juices as you cum on his face. God, he wants to spoil you. Cover you with kisses and embrace you because he loves you.
To König, you’re adorable when you eat. Your cheeks puffing a little like a chipmunk as you chew your food, before gulping some of your water. There’s a bit of mashed potato smeared by the side of your lips, and you don’t seem to notice. Before he can stop himself, his fingers had made contact with your skin, wiping away the stain. He sees you visibly froze, eyes widening so adorably.
“You had mashed potato on your face.” König chuckled, wiping the food off of his gloves with a tissue.
“O-oh…” You stutter, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry. I was hungry… I missed breakfast.”
Your cheeks turned red, flustered at his gentle gesture, and König eats that shit up. His mind keeping the moment in his head. His desires spilling over it like ink; tainting a shared innocent memory between you two. He stares at you for a solid minute, engraining your features into his memory—as if he hasn’t memorized your face at this point—and smiles softly beneath the mask. There are scars all over his body, including his face, and the tentacles on his face struggles not to reach out to you and feel your skin against it.
He wants you to know that he would do anything for you. How he’s willing to lay down his life for you. How he’s willing to protect you from anything because you’re all he ever wanted in his whole life. You would appreciate a man with scars, right? After all, it’s a sign of bravery.
König took part in many battles, too many to count with his tentacles and fingers and toes combined; spent his youth training to be the best killer possible. He took part in many conflicts and killed hundreds, maybe thousands even,  while feeling nothing but recoil. He isn’t afraid of anything – maybe, except for talking to people sometimes. It’s not like he’s terrified of them, but rather afraid of making a fool of himself. König always hated talking to people, but being colonel meant he had to communicate to soldiers under his command and his superiors.
He isn’t afraid of anything. But… he is afraid of you finally seeing underneath the mask and thinking that you, in fact, find him revolting to look at.
The colonel takes one look good at you, and figures that maybe it’s worth the internal turmoil if it meant that he would have you by his side. He would agree to get as many ranks as possible if that meant he could provide for you and have you quit your job as a soldier. If that would allow him to come home to every day and night instead of sleeping alone in his room.
“I suppose you enjoy your breakfast, liebling?” König chuckled, and your face just goes even more red.
“It’s delicious,” You answered, smiling sheepishly.
He loves it when you smile. Obsessed with it—the way your eyes twinkle with delight whenever you cast your gaze at him without a hint of disgust.
“Would you like to get coffee someday?” König offered. “I know a café that has really good coffee or if you prefer non-caffeinated drinks, they also have milkshakes and their desserts are pretty good.”
 And you with those pretty doe-eyes of yours say, “Sure! Set the time and date, colonel.”
Other soldiers are looking. They’re glancing at you and him, but you don’t seem to notice the stares or the fact that it had gone slightly quiet. He is a creep, weirdo and all the words in a song that he’s been blasting in his tiny headphones these past few days because he can smell the sweetness of your perfume and the way you are smiling at him with such unbridled admiration was driving him mad.
“How about this Thursday, ja?” König inquired, wanting to hear your opinion on the matter.
You think for a moment, brows furrowed and König finds it really endearing. Izzy said she’d take you to a café but she wasn’t really sure yet since she says it might be the day Horangi and her go on missions. Roze wouldn’t be back until Sunday, and you’re left alone with nothing on base.
Well… there is König.
“Sure! I’m free this Thursday.” You say to the colonel, brimming with excitement at your newfound friendship.
The monster is pleased. It seems you’ve checked out all the boxes he’s looking for in a mate.
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Tags: @itsbellaham,leslie-lemon,tapioca-marzipan,starcrossed02,manjiroxs,mr-sol,euuuuuuun,sleepyoriana,urmom-77,marriedtoeddie,sylviatherosairy,breannab2018,asmicity-writes,slutforelliewilliamss,3-kai-3,notsamaira,kenz-ee
P.S. Idk how to tag or if I did it right^^
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temmtamm · 4 months ago
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couldddd you POSSIBLY!.!!.!!! do a gravity falls yandere platonic ford which any age with a son!reader? Maybe around the age of 14 or younger. IF NOT THATS COMPLETELY FINE!
or if not that maybe a platonic yandere teen ford and stan with a younger brother?
Hii pookie!!
Friendly reminder once again, I do not do gender specific asks/headcanons!! Check my Gravity Falls ‘Asks Open’ post if anyone has any confusion on what I will/wont do!
As for a parental Ford…let’s see..
Well, at least in my opinion, Ford probably wouldn’t take that care of a child. He can barely take care of himself, let alone a kid.
But, if we are talking after the portal and everything, then I think that might be different.
Once again, Ford doesn’t have much of any parental bones in his body, but he does display more care and affection for the twins than I think he would’ve before the portal. I feel like he had matured and grown a lot through all the dimensions he had been in, and was able to recognize how poorly he was raised.
So, let’s say your home life wasn’t as great either, whether it be something as simple as your father being emotionally constipated, or your family just fights more than ‘normal’ ones, Ford WILL draw parallels to your home and his.
And Ford, after all he has learned, doesn’t want another person to wind up like him; craving validation and praise from others, to the point where he—I mean, you, seek it out from dangerous sources.
So…Ford starts hanging around you more.
He’s very…subtle with it. He knows kids, especially teenagers don’t care for adults getting all up in their business, so he tried to take it slow.
He didn’t expect how closed off you were, however. Your walls were completely up…So, he had to take some extra measures to get some details out of you.
Y’know the fun fact about all the weirdness in Grvaity Falls?? It means that there’s a lot of bugs that can repeat what it hears—So, it wasn’t that hard to sneak one of these copyroaches into your home and listen in on it repeating all that was heard in the home.
All the nasty fights, all the lonesome crying, all the times you’d gush to yourself or your friends on call about your special interests.
Don’t worry, he’s a good dad, he’ll let you keep SOME privacy…Just, a very, very, VERRYY small portion of it.
Slowly, you two start to bond more and more with him becoming more of a father figure to you with how he seems to always know what’s troubling you and the answers you need to hear in that moment…Not to mention, with him not being great with emotions, he tried to win your love with acts of service, such as making you dinner, saving the shoes you like on his DVR, and letting you spend the night at the shack when your parents fight.
Soon, he started to notice you staying at the shack more and more.
And more and more…He couldn’t help but grow discontent with the way your family treats you.
As said before, it doesn’t matter how small the issue is, if Ford had it his way, not a foul word should be spoken in your vicinity. Haven’t they already done enough damage to this child?? Do they want you to grow up in a broken home?!
In fact…He doesn’t think they’re fit to be parents. Not even in the slightest!!
He would be so much better…He’d actually take care of you, and he is smarter than any school they have been putting you in for that matter—All those kids are just so cruel to you, even if you don’t know it yet.
That…actually gives him an idea.
“So…anything happen at school today, champ?” Ford mumbled in his usual low, raspy voice as he scrubbed at the dishes in the sink, his apron still tied around his waist from cooking.
“Uh…Ford?” He didn’t even bat an eye or look up at you as you started to feel queasy, pushing the bowl of soup away from you at the dinner table. “I think the vegetables in this went bad…I think I’m gonna be sick.”
Ford just let out a good, hearty laugh. “Don’t be silly, I made it with all fresh ingredients. Have a look for yourself. Only the best for you.”
You could feel your stomach start to churn and growl, with the sight that greeted you when you looked down at your bowl not making you feel any better.
Was that an…eye?!
It’s the same shade as your mother’s.
“O-Oh god..” You bit down on your lip, bile starting to creep up in the back of your throat at the sight…and that’s when the melatonin had started to kick in, making your vision grow spotty. It was hard for Ford to find a dosage of that where it was not only over the required limit for a young teen, but also able to be hidden in food. He did it though. Better that than rat poison for his little baby.
“Aww, oh no? Are you having a stomach bug?? Don’t worry, I’ll make it all better.”
That’s the sick part. He genuinely believes it’s better locked in the shack for you. Why wouldn’t it be?? He’ll spoil you with all the care and love a child deserves, not to mention he will be sure to intellectually stimulate your brain as well.
You’ll see. He’ll be the perfect father for you.
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loredrinker · 28 days ago
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I Would Not Lay With You Under False Pretenses
In my Dragon Age Inquisition head canon, Solas and Lavellan had a sexual relationship. Throughout their time together in Inquisition, I’ve always imagined them sharing that kind of intimacy - it felt like a natural progression to me. (Despite not getting those scenes in the game—though we know they intended to.) I'd also like to thank the writers for leaving it open to interpretation on purpose. (I’ve held this interpretation long before Veilguard, and with the revelations of Solas’s memories and regrets, it has actually deepened my understanding and added even more layers to this perspective.)
Why is this my take?
On a personal note, it just makes his betrayal way juicier, more devastating, and tragic (And I'll be honest, I am totally into that level of tragedy).
From a more analytical perspective, I interpret Solas as spiritual (he was a spirit first, after all), and the kind of man who falls in love with someone’s mind and spirit before anything else. For Solas, sex isn’t just about physical desire; it’s a spiritual act – and it’s his spirit that seems to be the most wounded throughout the games. This kind of intimacy feels like it could provide him with some healing and to me, it seems a natural progression for him to connect intimately with someone he truly loves.
So, here are some of my justifications for this interpretation (this is a long post!): 
Solas is lonely – we all know this. His immortality and all the secrets and regrets he carries isolate him. Lavellan’s love is one of the few things that lets him connect with someone who sees him. Their intimacy would become a refuge from his solitude. 
It’s his moment to just be Solas. When they’re making love, he can set aside being Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf, and just be a man. Vulnerable, open, and present. That’s something he craves but seems to rarely happen.  As his letter in Veilguard to a romanced Inquisitor says - “...put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas...as I wanted”. 
It’s not deception—not really. While he hides that he is Fen'Harel (by omission - his words, not mine!), I don’t think making love to Lavellan is deceptive on his part. For him, it’s the purest expression of his feelings. Words can lead to lies, but in their intimacy, the truth of his love shines through. That’s why his line in Trespasser, “I would not lay with you under false pretenses,” resonates with me in this interpretation - he means it. He wouldn’t make love to her unless he truly loved her. And he does love her, deeply and honestly, even if the life Lavellan knows is built on secrets.
And perhaps, in his mind, this intimacy is also a gift to her - a way of saying, I truly do love you. In moments where words risk exposing too much, this is how he shows her the depth of his feelings. For a man as burdened by guilt and secrecy as Solas, this act becomes a truth - an offering of his unguarded self, if only for a little while.
(On consent: Many valid arguments suggest Lavellan can’t truly consent, given she doesn’t know his full truth. I’ve thought about this a lot. For me, my Inquisitor is not passive. I played her as an intuitive and intelligent, and experienced woman. She is aware that Solas is holding something back. She senses his sadness, a chasm within him, a fight within him. She chooses intimacy with him despite knowing he’s hiding something - not out of ignorance but out of love and faith. Partly because she believes her love can offer him solace and maybe even help him heal and of course, she too is seeking the same connection with the man she loves, that he is seeking with her. What I'm saying is, my Lavellan is an active participant in her own choices. That’s why I find her relentless pursuit of understanding after Trespasser so delicious—she owns her choices and chases answers.)
Love overwhelms him. Despite all his restraint, his love for Lavellan overwhelms him (look at the way he gets lost in her kisses alone). Making love is the only way he can fully express the depth of what he feels for her (other than the actual truth, but he chickens out on that). In those moments, they exist together beyond guilt, secrets, or duty.
It anchors him. For an immortal like Solas, stuck between the past and the future with no real connection to the present, being with Lavellan pulls him into that present. Imagine what a relief that would be - to stop carrying the weight of eternity, even briefly, and just feel good in the moment. 
It’s a reclaiming of his humanity. Lavellan brings out the parts of him that are still human. Sex is a way for him to reconnect with those fleeting, mortal emotions that may have dulled over centuries of war, betrayal and...well, immortality. 
Sex as a spiritual act. Sex, in itself is very spiritual - it is more than just a physical act - it’s an exchange of energy, a union where two spirits connect and strengthen one another. Each moment of intimacy strengthens their shared connection, draws them closer, forging strands of energy that tether them together. This isn’t about taking - it’s about giving, receiving, and creating a sanctuary for each of them.
This shared energy would then carry spiritual significance for Solas. He is a man fractured—both wisdom and pride, split between dualities that circle within him. Through this connection, this literal merging of their bodies and spirits, he might find a fleeting sense of wholeness within her.
Side note: This is why I don’t think Solas is interested in casual sex. He’s far too deliberate, introspective, and connected to the significance of mind and spirit. For someone like Solas, casual encounters would feel hollow, draining him rather than sustaining him.
And then there’s the mythological and religious imagery. He’s an immortal rebel god; she’s the Herald of Andraste. The symbolism! I just love how this imagery elevates them to something timeless and otherworldly.
The Fade connection. Solas holds the Fade sacred, a place where reality and fantasy blur. This parallels the merging of bodies in sex—the blurring of secrets and truth, pain and solace. For someone like Solas, whose love of mind and spirit is central, making love would be sacred.
(And harkening back to my side note above, I’m convinced Solas has had very few lovers in his long existence - two for sure, maybe three. I have theories about who those others might be—not Mythal!—but that’s for another discussion.)
But of course, this is Solas we’re talking about. So all of this romantic theory comes with a heavy dose of tragedy and pain. 
Every time they’re intimate, their bond deepens, their shared energy strengthens, making his inevitable betrayal hurt that much more (oh hindsight, I hate you!). He knows the truth will break her heart, but he can’t resist her! It’s both a wonderful gift and a festering wound to him.  
For Lavellan, these intimate moments are about trust, connection, and offering Solas her love. For Solas, he is offering his love as well, but for him these moments are tinged with the weight of his secrets and the heartbreak he knows he’ll cause. That contrast - their shared intimacy against the shadow of his betrayal - it's just what makes their relationship so compelling to me and why I am completely comfortable with this interpretation.
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*since first posting this I have edited it to be a bit more streamlined and removed some redundancy.
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diamond-champagne · 6 months ago
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8. Did I Lose You?
Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd
Warnings: None that I know of but please let me know!
Summary: In which happily ever after isn't today
A/N: nothing to say but I love you, besties <3
Azzi is a liar, a thief, and a coward. A lethal combination that swims deeply with the basketball player. She doesn’t mean to be these things. Azzi doesn’t want to be these things but she is. It’s a sad truth that only the brown-eyed girl carries the burden of knowing. It only adds that she can call herself these things in the name of Paige.
Azzi is a liar; has been since November. A lie escaped her lips every time she told Riley that she was happy. The basketball player knew that the relationship wouldn’t survive when everything the other did was compared to Paige. It’s disrespectful, Azzi knows. Riley listened to, supported, and gave Azzi everything she could’ve asked for in a partner. Even when she would’ve had every right to, Riley didn’t push. But, Paige did. She pushed every button the younger girl had. If getting under Azzi’s skin was a sport, then Paige was the MVP. Maybe it was her signature smirk or the confidence she has in everything she does. It’s maddening and addicting but it’s all Azzi craves at the end of the day. 
Azzi is a coward as a result of her lies. It’s with those lies that she stays in a relationship with Riley longer than she should have. The same lies that bury her friend in guilt. The same relationship that caused Azzi to walk out when asked if she had feelings for the blonde-haired girl in front of her. Her lies resulted in a truth being hidden. A truth that would’ve prevented the tears and heartbreak that the two girls had to endure. The truth being that Azzi is absolutely, without a doubt, unconditionally in love with Paige. That love though, is also something the younger girl cowers from because it scares her. She’s terrified of her emotions and Paige’s. The intense emotions roll off the blonde in waves; and sometimes it’s just a bit much for Azzi. She’s never been one to face her fears.
Azzi is a thief because in the end, her cowardness and lies didn’t stop her from taking bits and pieces of Paige all the same. 
-
Azzi swallows nervously. The apartment is familiar to the eye, yet somehow she feels like a guest as she stands awkwardly in the kitchen. Everything is exactly in the place as she knows it to be except he’s here. Cameron is standing in her kitchen, watching her while Paige gets Azzi water from the fridge. He’s the one that’s opening her door when she’s too busy to do so. He’s the one occupying her space as if it’s his own.
It throws Azzi off kilter because these are things she used to do. Her teammates were used to seeing the curly-haired girl on the other side of the door when they came over. She used to roam around the kitchen and admire the blonde in front of her. 
Now someone else was doing it and that made Azzi want to scream. 
The younger girl was only at the apartment to discuss the kiss from last night. It seems as if she had no choice in the matter as there was a litany of demanding text messages waiting for her when she woke up. So, after carefully agreeing to a time, here she was.
Azzi watches as the football player places a kiss on Paige’s hair before whispering something in her ear. Paige nods her head in response before she watches as Cam leaves the apartment. When the door shuts, the older girl turns to her best friend; ready to talk.
“You said I’m what you want.” Paige stated. It was a direct way to start a long overdue conversation. 
“You are” 
“What changed?” Azzi watched as Paige leaned back on the counter and crossed her arms. She could tell that the blonde had her guard up and it broke her heart. 
“I realized how much I missed you.”
“You missing me doesn’t mean much. You missed me while you were dating Riley and you didn’t want me then.” Paige snarks. It’s a valid point.
“I know, but I missed you. I miss waking up and having your hair in my face, or your vanilla perfume on my sheets. I miss being able to hold you and kiss you. Fuck, Paige, I miss talking to you.” Azzi pleads. It softens the blonde’s resolve for a short second but then it doesn’t.
“I understand that you miss me. I miss you too but do you want me?” Paige asks. Her voice is soft and without malice. She only wants to understand what this means for them now.
“I want you everyday, in this life and the next.” The curly-haired girl answers truthfully. 
“When?” Paige starts. “When did you know?”
“I’ve known since November.” Azzi confesses. She watches as her favorite pair of blue eyes widen with shock and then narrow with anger. The blonde shakes her head and scoffs in disbelief. “So when you texted me and asked me to come over, you had feelings for me? Paige grits out. 
“Yes,” Azzi starts. “But I was scared and I was already in a relationship. Everything just got messy.”
Everything was messy. She wasn’t wrong.
“Az, I just don’t understand why you continued in a relationship knowing you had feelings for me. Why did you walk out of my apartment that day?” Paige asks. Her voice is low but tired.
“I was scared,” The brown-eyed girl admits nervously before she’s rambling. Then, she’s repeating everything that she confessed to Riley in the club bathroom. Azzi talks about how Paige looks at her with such intensity, it terrifies her. She shared how sometimes it can be too much and how she worries about not being enough. 
She talks and talks and Paige just listens. The blonde takes in every word that spills out of the brown-eyed girl's mouth, until silence settles between them. The two continue to stare at each other, both trying to read expressions on the other’s face. Both of them failed miserably. 
“Say something.” she demands.
“I understand that you were scared. Hell, I was scared.” Paige laughs, “That much, we could have worked passed because in the end, being with you was enough. But instead, you slept with me while you had a girlfriend.”
“Please, Paige! I was scared!’ Azzi begged. She was terrified of loving Paige. She was terrified of Paige loving her. “Riley wasn’t intense. Being with her was easy.”
“It isn’t about Riley, Azzi '' Paige explains. “It’s about you! I could understand you being scared. I was fucking terrifed of loving you. But you being scared of loving me didn’t stop you from taking parts of me.”
“Paige-”
“I understand that you were scared. I promise, I do, but it didn’t stop you from holding me, kissing me, fucking me. It didn’t stop you from-”
For once, Azzi is the one cutting her off. “I know but I’m not scared anymore.” She doesn’t know she’s crying until Paige reaches up to wipe a tear away.
“But I am. I’m scared of you breaking my heart.” It comes out in a whisper but Azzi hears every word.
“Please just trust me.” The shorter girl pleads. She grabs Paige’s hand that wiped the tears from her face.
They’re both crying in the kitchen. Slow tears cascade down both of their faces as they drown in each other’s love; simultaneously healing and breaking each other’s hearts. It shouldn’t be this hard for them, but they’ve been messy. It’ll take a while to clean up the damage left in their wake. 
Today Paige’s wounds are fresh and her emotions are heightened. Today, there’s still so much left to talk through and resolve. 
Today, Azzi is still scared of what their feelings mean and what they could be to each other.
Today isn’t their day and Paige knows this. So as much as it pains her, she breaks both of their hearts with one sentence.
“I trust you with my life, just not with my heart.”
-
Paige is selfish, hypocritical, and cowardly.
Paige is selfish because she takes what she wants without any regard to others. She did that twice actually. The blonde didn’t have to spend the night with Azzi but she did. Paige did it knowing she had a girlfriend. She did it knowing that her actions had the potential to hurt someone else. Doing it in the name of love is simply a sad excuse and she knows it.
Paige is a hypocrite because she flirted with her best friend while her girlfriend was in the other room. She got upset that Azzi had the audacity to wear the volleyball’s player shirt in her home but walked right by the girl after spending the night with her. She’s the one with the audacity. She’s the one that’s disrespectful. Paige was being truthful though, she feels guilty about it all the time.
Paige is a coward because she, like Azzi, is scared, but the blonde was the last to walk away from what could have been her future. She left because she was scared of Azzi loving her. 
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