#maybe the 4 month regression won’t hit so hard

[whentherewerebicycles]

the baby just fell asleep for his first unswaddled nap!!!! took him about 15 min to settle down (and who knows how long he’ll sleep before he wakes himself up) but this is progress!! I’m hoping to slowly fully transition him to unswaddled daytime naps over the next week or two and then we’ll see if we can manage dropping the swaddle at night.

[let-me-touch-your-soul]

a loveless letter

I’ve been wanting to write you a letter for years now but I just haven’t been able to formulate my thoughts into words and I never knew when would be the perfect time to write. I was waiting for us to end so I can have the whole picture to reflect on but I no longer see an end in sight for us and this letter is probably going to be very messy with no plot at all, so just bare with me for now until I can write a better, more chronological letter. And let me just preface this by saying this is in no way me putting any blame on you, this isn’t me trying to call you out and paint you as the bad guy. This is just my side of our story. 

We met when I was 4 years old, and all you were to me was my friend’s older brother, nothing more nothing less. I don’t know where exactly I crossed the line or you did, but you are no longer just that. You are now someone who stole my innocence and gave me a warped perception of this world and the word ‘love’. There is so much to say but let me try to start from the beginning. 

When we first started talking outside of family functions, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I have no perception of time so I just like to say it all started when I was 12, but I’m pretty sure it was before that. We started talking and at that time you were just some guy I was interested in; it wasn’t even remotely close to a crush yet, I was just hyped about getting some sort of attention from an older guy. Don’t know where the lines blurred but suddenly you were making sexual advances to a little girl, someone who had no idea what some of the words you were saying meant, someone who was just learning about the horrors of the world, someone who was already getting their childhood and innocence stolen from them. 

I just went along with everything you said and wanted because I didn’t want to disappoint you and didn’t want you to stop talking to me. I became obsessed with the attention you were giving me, well my body. As someone who suffered with an altered body image for as long as I can remember, I was basking in the attention you were giving to the physical parts of me, no matter how objectified and dehumanized it made me feel at times. I lied about the number of people who had touched me and about all the experiences I never had, (I was only 12 so how could you even think I had other people touching me in my most intimate places?), just so you wouldn’t think I was as innocent as I was. You made me grow up too early. 

As we kept talking, my heart slowly made its way to the surface and I caught feelings, despite us both discussing it would be ‘no strings attached’. I thought I was the only one with these flutters and I was way too embarrassed to say anything about the way I really felt so I never brought it up, I just went along with everything you said. After all, I was still just a shy little girl who had no idea what she got herself into. But then one night, you told me you loved me. I still remember that moment vividly, as if it happened just yesterday. It was the night before my first day of school (6th grade) and I was charging my phone in my parent’s bedroom, telling you goodnight, and you replied with “goodnight, love you”, and with shaking hands and a heart going a mile a minute I replied with, “goodnight, love you too”, smiling so hard my cheeks started going numb. That was the beginning of the end of me. 

Truth be told, I wasn’t even sure at that time if I really did love you, but I still said it back because I didn’t want to lose you, but after all these years I think I can safely say that somewhere along the line I did fall in love with you, with what exactly I don’t know, but I did love you. But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, there is so much more left of this story, this is barely the beginning. 

You made me believe you loved me. We texted all day and night, meaningless conversations filled with sexual tension. You were the first boy I showed my body to, the first boy I kissed, the first boy who held me and touched me, the first boy I shed tears for, the first boy I had feelings for and said “I love you” to. 

I remember seeing you with different girls on your snap everyday and remember hearing about you from other girls you were doing the same thing to them as were doing to me, and with every girl I lost a piece of myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t jealous. I knew you weren’t mine, you made that pretty clear from the beginning, and I was never the jealous type. But, I was hurt. I thought I was faulty. I couldn’t blame you, because you made it clear from the beginning that you didn’t want anything exclusive, this was all just fun for you, a passing time, so with no one to blame I blamed myself. All the other girls were much older than me, and prettier, and skinnier, so if I was just prettier and as skinny as them maybe you would show me more attention right? I started changing myself. I ate less and threw up more. I started wearing tighter clothes and starting drinking and smoking, because that would make me more cooler and desirable right? Wrong. You still looked at other girls, and I couldn’t change myself anymore, I was on the brink of losing myself, love. All for you. But you never noticed. You never cared enough to know. 

I remember getting drunk one night and texting you that I loved you but felt as if you didn’t love me. Do you remember that? You replied back in the morning saying you did love me. It was all baseless though. It was very clear you only said that to not be painted as the bad guy, but I still took your word for it and never brought it up again, and neither did you. I think that was the last time the word “love” was uttered between us. Did I ruin it? 

I also can’t help but bring up how all our conversations happened within apps that couldn’t be seen by others unless specifically searched for. After all, who would even believe you were talking to lil ole me. Were you ashamed of me? Embarrassed to be seen talking to me? Well thats exactly what it seemed like. You made it very clear we were to be kept a secret, not a single soul should know you were talking to me. So I kept quiet. Didn’t tell a single soul about the boy who held my heart and crushed it along with my innocence. 

I tried to distance myself from you. I wouldn’t answer your texts, but at times my longing got the best of me and I couldn’t stop myself from responding back to you. We would go months without any contact and every time it was you who would hit me up first and I would lose the battle within me and respond and we would be back to square one, texting as if nothing changed between us. I think I found comfort in that familiarity of knowing exactly what to expect when talking to you. Our dynamic never really changed over the years, did it? I still can’t decide if thats a bad thing or a good thing. 

I tried to move on from you, I really did. But no one, nothing, lasted and I always ended up going back to you one way or another. I tried to fill the hole you left in me with drugs and drinks and boys who also only wanted me for my body. After all, that was all I knew. I didn't know love outside of what I could offer with my body. You taught me I wasn’t anything beyond my body and I never stopped to question it, and sometimes I still regress back to that little girls mind, and I’m still forced to exist in the body I destroyed for you, in the body I still let you use from time to time.

There are times when I think I am completely over you and nothing you do affects me anymore but then you text me again and all the feelings I had for you over the years come rushing back and I feel like I’m 13 all over again falling head over heels in love with you. But honestly, I think I just find comfort in the familiarity of you. We’ve been in this push and pull situationship (what else is there call us?) for I think over 6 years now, and I’ve honestly just come to accept that it probably won’t be a solid ending to this anytime soon. I tried so hard to end it and move and forget about you, but the truth is that I am too weak when it comes to you. Now, I have no idea whatsoever why you keep coming back to me when there are so many other better prospects out there for you and I try not to think too deep into it because I don’t want to create false hope and hurt myself any more than I already have. I gave you all my teenage years, and I am still giving them you. We grew up with each other and these years are just something neither of us can take back and I’ve come to just accept this and try to live with knowing there will never be anything more to us, no matter how hard that acceptance is for me. 

I told myself that going away to college was going to be a fresh new beginning for me and that I would completely cut you off. We all know that didn’t go as planned. I had sex with you for the first time this summer. Did you know that was my first time lol? Yeah I literally have never had anyone touch me like that except for you. I don’t think I can ever come clean about that to you because that’s just too much power in your hands over me with that information. I’m sorry for lying and making you think I was more experienced than I actually was, but I guess now you know why I did it. 

I think for me to be able to fully move I would need to hear your side of everything from you. But I don’t know if I’ll ever get the closure I need directly form you so I guess this is why I’m writing this, as a way to get some type of closure for myself. I never plan on telling you any of this because being vulnerable is just not something I have in me, especially to you, so I guess we both will just be living in the dark about this without any answers for the rest of our lives. 

Sometimes, and I know this sounds hilarious and dumb, I wonder what the future holds for us. I wonder if we met at a different point in our lives, where we were both older and wiser, would we have been able to be more than what we are now, whatever we are now. I’ve held feelings for you inside of me for so long I really don’t think it will ever go away; I’m just going to have to find a way to live with them for the rest of my life. I just want to end this by letting you know that if you ever change your mind about me and us, and want there to actually be an ‘us’ exclusively, I will say yes to you without hesitation. You hold pieces of me I will never get back, pieces I don’t even know if I want back, and I don’t think if I will ever be able to devote myself so someone else with the same intensity I devoted myself to you. I used to be able to see a future with you, and I would like to blame that on my naive, young brain. Thank you for teaching me that not everyone who comes into my life will reciprocate the same feelings as me and that love is only a figment of one’s imagination. I sincerely hope you never feel what I felt and that you find someone who loves you back the same way you love them. I hope you are happy and content with wherever you end up in life, just don’t forget me. :)

[atouchofgreen]

Weed & Mental Health (adolescent)

Mom and Dad,

In the recent months I have experienced cognitive decline that I attribute to my use of weed cartridges. I started smoking weed cartridges when I was in my senior year of high school, and  became addicted. I hated it but for some reason I couldn't stop I smoked daily. Although I took month long breaks often, I continued to smoke in college during my first 2 years. Towards the second semester of sophomore year, I used legal delta 8 carts instead of delta 9 carts. The only negative aspect of using up to my sophomore year was my lack of motivation and any minute cognitive changes went away following abstinence. I should have quit or asked for help. In high-school I asked for help by leaving my stash on the laundry machine and gave a singular puff to mom one time (she thought it was an e-cigg though). In highschool in my AP Chemistry class, I saw a kid at the end of class do a hit from a similar weed cart in front of his friends. It would have been so easy for him to get caught, he was standing up giggling with his back turned but the teacher was on the computer and didn't notice. I recognized then that this kid was so alone with his addiction that he did it in front of his friends at school out of pain and solidarity. He had an expressionless face most of the day and seemed distraught, I knew from the grapevine he smoked a lot. He was like me, addicted, and did a hit in school subconsciously screaming for help. After class I asked coach Jacobs his thoughts on using weed. He said, sitting on his computer desk chair with his hands behind his head, " I think after 25 half a joint does the same damage as having a martini, but before then its really bad for you physically, mentally, and your development as a human being. You should wait until after your brain is fully developed to try anything." I remembered this for the rest of my life. I didnt have the courage  to directly ask for help but I needed it and should have asked anyone. I couldn't quit it although I should have had the courage to do so. I tried quitting many times but I was too far down the drain mentally. But now, I am scared for myself. I quit completely following moving jethin in because I was noticing cognitive decline in myself. It was terrible. One morning, I woke up and nothing entered my brain its like I was a zombie. That is why I quit. I hoped I would regain my functionality like before, but to no avail. My iq seems to have dropped 10 points at least. My short term memory has regressed so much that learning new information is difficult for me. Reading is harder and to recall something takes me much longer than before. I have a harder time making long term plans and imagining things. I had a hard time with understanding and expressing English as well though this has been improving. My mind is nothing like it was before. Now, my memory, pattern recognition, recall, imagination, has diminished to a much lower degree. I was fine last year and the year before that, my mental health and cognition were good, but recently it seems like a switch turned off for me. When I walk in the world I don't absorb information the same. I don't abstractify what I am seeing as easily, and my short term memory is really shot. Its like I'm just walking in the world blind deaf and dumb. I am scared I won't be able to pass my classes even though compared to highschool these classes are an absolute breeze relatively speaking to when my brain was sober. I can't do quick calculations anymore and I am acutely aware that my senses are just senses. Seeing touching hearing are just that, I can't calculate the same way i used to to create a coherent experience of what's going on around me. I don't have appreciation for life anymore. I  am telling you all of this now because i have really experienced cognitive decline and I am extremely depressed, unhappy, and anxious. I am afraid that my prefrontal cortex and hippocampus is permanently damaged. Weirdly, I've had a dull ache in my head ever since I've quit, in the middle and front of my brain, that's been getting slightly better with time. The slight discomfort or pain is always there its terrible. It also gets better temporarily when I cry, meditate, or sleep for an extended period. I hope that after a few months this dull pain would subside and my mental capabilities would return. Even my dreams are less complex and have less emotion. All of this is what I talked to that therapist about.  It's not like I am sad ALL of the time, but a lot of it. But I am pretty sure my mind will never be what it was before. I experienced life to its fullest extent while I was not using any drugs, and now that I've been sober for 2 months now and my mind is not returning close to what it was. I still feel like a zombie when exercising, and I develop a deep sense of sadness right after I work out because i recognize my short term memory and mental capability are weakened which makes it hard for me to make good memories and I get anxious about my future. I am pretty emotionless, even fear is hard for me to experience. When I am unhappy, at times I break out into a sob, but because my emotions have dulled probably from the weed, I only start to sob momentarily and then return to a face of stoicism. This makes it hard to achieve catharsis for my sadness and it gets bottled up inside. I don't really mind the mental health difficulties from quitting weed - that can pass over time with proper behavior - but it's the cognitive difficulties that makes me afraid. I am afraid that I will never be able to view the world the same way that I used to before weed. I am afraid that I won't be able to become a doctor unless my brain heals over time. I have read many studies about the use of marijuana during adolescents. Although there is conflicting research, my experience suggests the worst for me - that what I am experiencing may be permanent. I also read that smoking weed during adolescence can delay prefrontal cortex maturation, meaning I would never be able to absorb information and process it  the same way ever again. If only I had read the dangers of early marijuana use earlier and understood I would have quit immediately. It is entirely my fault my life is like this now, I was too weak. Both of you have given me everything and helped me the most you could. Especially Dad. Dad, I feel so bad because you have lowered your expectations of me so much. If I hadn't started smoking, I know I would be a completely different person.  Mom and Dad, I have been thinking about committing suicide for some time. I've been thinking about it at least once a day actually for a few months. Its not that I think life and the world is terrible and bad, I actually think the opposite. Before smoking I loved life and loved myself. I could feel the world like a thumping heartbeat or a quivering harp playing soulful music. I feel like killing myself because my current and future experiences will be inorganic. My brain structure/chemistry probably changed forever and I don't want to live with this brain anymore. I cant understand everything going on around me thus I can never understand the world the same way like I used to. I feel like i can't learn new things, everything I do now is because I am just accessing what I learned before starting to smoke weed and during freshman and sophomore year of college. My emotions have waned. I can't calculate complex things anymore and put it into context sufficiently. I can't move my body and think strongly at the same time. Right now, meditation and thinking about my long term memory is my only friend. My short term memory is shot which affects my learning and ability to make meaningful experiences or connections. It's like I have pseudodementia though not as bad. The only joy I get is accessing my long term memory and talking long walks in places and with people that used to bring me joy. I loved Turkey so much and the time we spent I go there in my head all of the time. I love Africa, I love India, I loved my friends at swimming and during highschool. But if that's all I am living for I don't know what the point is. I curse myself everyday for making the mistake of smoking weed or not quitting when I could have. I could've become a beautiful person had I continued developing normally. I am so sorry for being a bad son. I am so sorry that you came from India to America to have a child that fucked up like me. I am sorry for the stress this places on both of you. You both did nothing wrong in raising me, I just fucked up. I am sorry for how this may affect your work dad. And I am sorry for being a liability for the family. While I am drowning I don't want you both to drown with me. Maybe I can get a job somewhere or go into the military. At this point cognitively, unless my brain is capable of rewiring itself (maybe that's what the dull persistent ache is in my head) I don't think I can learn the information necessary to safefully treat patients. My therapist said it would take 3-4 months to a year to feel normal again but I don't know what I will do if I can't return to baseline. I used to live with such a thirst for life and understanding but if that doesn't return I feel like I am dragging life down and owe it to my memory of what life was before weed to take my own.  Currently my plan is to wait a year and a few months before seriously thinking of committing suicide if I don't heal because the pain I am feeling is so immense. I want to live life FEELING everything organically regardless of what it is. Also my smarts are gone and that gave me tremendous joy. I know what life was like before using weed and I know how it should feel. But I cannot properly life, my sense of self, empathy, and life around me currently. I am walking around blind deaf and dumb I don't know if I want to live this way for the rest of my life. I would have loved to become a doctor.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to kill myself and I don't think I will have the balls to frankly but that saddens me even more if I can't feel or process what I am experiencing for the rest of my life. Life is too short to waste, any life really even if I'm dumber than what I used to be. I think of people who are paralyzed, people who have cancer, who have nobody left to care for them, people who are homeless and have physical ailments. They don't give up, but their minds are still natural. I am young and the only reason I am thinking of this is because I don't want to go the rest of my life with derealization of the world around me. I don't want to live the rest of my life blind deaf and dumb. No new experiences since the latter parts of my weed addiction have given me any meaning in life compared to what I had learned before smoking weed. I am grateful I got to experience and learn the meaning of life from my perspective and others when I was younger, thank you for that. I love you both so much. I am sorry and don't worry I am not going to kill myself its just that I am angry with myself, angry with my cognitive decline, and angry that I can't experience what life ought to be currently. I am hoping for better in the future though. I just thought you should know.

Love, Your son

Before Weed: 

I am telling you this because I am scared for myself although it may be too late. Before I tell you what I've been going through, I want to tell you about my life experience up until junior year of highschool. Although I wasn't exactly extremely smart from your perspectives, I was acutely aware of my surroundings. In school I was more focused on how things were organized and what every single person in the room was thinking and what their plans were rather then what they were teaching. It's like my brain was calculating 20 things at once and i was living existentially all the time. I was incredibly happy just to be alive. I could recall the exact positions of people and things around me, what I was thinking, and the sutle muscle movements of people over a reasonable amount of time. I used to know what people were going to say before they said them, and know someone's personality outlook on life, habits mentality etc.  just by watching for 10 seconds to an incredible degree of accuracy. The longer a person was in my focus I learned more about them exponentially. I could learn things very well and had a memory based on the things that I was focused on that was so precise and better than almost everyone I had ever met. People in high school who knew me well knew this and would be shocked how i could know things about them. Some things like sexuality and gender insecurities, presence of autism/ Asperger's as a child, family life back home, and who liked who, I could tell about people after observing them for a little. I had  respect from people at school and some teachers because they knew what I could learn about a situation or people just by being in the same room. I could learn new words in the blink of an eye if I heard it just once, I was constantly calculating. With dad, I could not learn what he tried to teach me though just because I was so scared of him that my focus wasn't there and panic was always set in I was scared to be beat frankly (i wasn't scared of the pain but just scared what it meant which was hard for me to fully realize because I would slightly repress the memories and I don't like to do that). But it's from him I learned how to analyze people and the world. But he is one of the only people I've ever met where I could not track his mind to a satisfying degree. For most people I would now what they were thinking, what they were incubating in the back of their head, and their current plan of action in a glance by looking at the eyes and body. I could not do this with dad because his mind is faster than mine it was too hard to keep up. He has mind palaces that are so structured and he can jump around his mind so easily I couldn't keep up with the mind palaces he created and how he navigates them. It was harder for me to do this with people who had a very high iq but I would practice everyday and would cherish analyzing introverts for practice. I walked on a street with a hundred people I would make an observation about each of them and could later recall exactly what I saw and what I was thinking. My kinesthetic sense was very good so physical distances was easy for me to calculate and remember. I truly believed that before starting weed I would become a doctor because all my strengths coincided with it. This ability, although most ppl might be able to do it, peaked for me right before starting weed. I was very much in tune with spirituality and enjoyed reading storybooks, meditation, and socializing. I was never focused on myself but what was around me, I kept my thoughts and feelings in a box in my mind to help me learn as I recorded what others were doing and thinking. I had balls - I asked out girls in highschool, and honestly wasn't afraid of much because both of you enabled me to experience life by taking me everywhere.

[nordic-language-love]

Language Learning Log 2021 - Week 3

Norwegian

Read 1x article

Watched 5x Distriktsnyheter (Nordnytt x2, Midtnytt x2 & Nordland) broadcasts

Watched 2x Valpeskolen episodes

Wrote 2x journal entries

Wrote about myself and the book I’m currently reading

italki session (45 mins)

Speaking practice: talked about books, dialects, being ill and sexism

Mysteriet om Nils ch 34 exercises 3-7 + ch 35 reading

Worked on a music vocab list and 3x food vocab lists

Japanese

JFZ ch 6 exercises + briefly looked over ch 7 grammar

Kanji practice: drilled family vocab and adjectives

Writing practice: wrote sentences with 欲しい and 欲しくない

Duolingo: Hiragana 2, Family

Norwegian

I really like this new italki tutor! I feel like I got a lot out of this week’s session, learning new vocabulary and being challenged to talk about things I wouldn’t normally talk about. This coming week I’ve got some conversation practice with one of my other tutors booked, but I’m kinda tempted to mostly stick with my new tutor. But conversation practice is still useful, so maybe I’ll treat myself to one session a month? We’ll see.

I’ve been doing a fair bit of writing this week. It’s not been super structured, but I do feel like it’s coming to me more easily than it used to. I don’t feel like I have to look up vocabulary constantly, and I actually surprise myself with how much vocab I know sometimes. I still make dumb mistakes with grammar sometimes, but I almost always realise it’s wrong immediately after writing it and go back and fix it.

Speaking of vocab, I worked on some vocab lists this week. They’re not finished so I won’t post them just yet, but I consolidated vocabulary I learned from Familiekokkene and made a list about music. Hopefully I’ll get those finished off this week or next week, but we’ll see.

Last week’s goals

Write 2x journal entries [2/2] ✅

Finish exercises from Mysteriet om Nils ch 34 [5/5] ✅

Watch 5x Distriktsnyheter broadcasts [5/5] ✅

Listen to 1x Norsken, Svensken og Dansken podcast [0/1] ❌

Practice speaking on at least 4 days [4/4] ✅

Make at least one vocab list of words learnt from Familiekokkene [1/1] ✅

This week’s goals

Mysteriet om Nils ch 35 exercises

Watch 4x Distriktsnyheter broadcasts

Listen to 1x Norsken, Svensken og Dansken podcast

Spend Monday and Tuesday preparing for Wednesday’s italki session

Write 2x journal entries

Read 3x articles related to coronavirus + note down new/useful vocabulary

Japanese

I had a nice moment doing Duolingo this week. I was revising hiragana 2, which introduces a few simple words that include hiragana taught in that skill. I’ve never bothered trying to learn those words, but this week I recognised some that I’ve learned recently (あまい, すき and ほしい - sweet, like and want). It was so exciting!

Speaking of Duolingo: one of my goals for this week was to complete the next skill along the tree. I decided instead to spend more time improving the skills I’d already done and consolidating/learning vocabulary. I was planning on doing one skill a week because that’d take me exactly to the fifth checkpoint, but I don’t think that’s a good goal for me really - I’d just end up rushing through it and not learning much and getting overwhelmed.

I worked a little bit more on family vocab this week and started learning kanji for a few simple adjectives (old, new, hot, cold), as well as writing some sample sentences to drill them home. I still need to spend time going over it and consolidating it, which is what I plan to do this week.

Last week’s goals

Duolingo: Activity 1 ❌

JFZ Chapter 6 activities ✅

Write sample sentences with vocab learned from recent Duolingo lessons and JFZ ch 6 ✅

Watch 1x Pokémon episode [1/1] ✅

This week’s goals

Learn adjectives kanji from JFZ ch 6

JFZ ch 7 reading + videos

Write sample sentences with family and adjectives kanji

Duolingo: reach level 2 of Restaurant skill

Watch 1x Pokémon episode

Productivity

I’m really trying to increase my exercise again. It’s so tough because I’ve gone from being more or less a professional athlete where I wouldn’t even count a training session if it was under 2 hours long to barely motivating myself to do even ten minutes. It’s been a downward spiral of not training, trying to get my shit together, noticing how much I’ve regressed because I’ve not been training, not wanting to train because it makes me feel bad, regressing more... and so on. So I’m going to force some sort of routine on myself, with the promise I don’t have to go hard; I just have to turn up. Half-ass some easy yoga, train the same three intermediate tricks, follow a 10-minute youtube workout video, whatever. Just move. It will improve my mental health, which is frankly disastrous atm.

I’m also getting back into reading again. The past 4 months or so have been pretty dry, so it’s nice to be doing more again. And I've been feeling a little bit more inspired to write, which is nice. Hopefully I can keep this up. Again, I’m keeping my expectations fairly low because my mental health is garbage, and because at the end of they day they’re just hobbies, and while it’d be nice to do them more I’m not going to force myself to do them if I don’t feel like it for the sake of hitting goals.

Last week’s goals

Stretch on at least 3 days [3/3] ✅

Decide which book to read next and read 150 pages [182/150] ✅

Train pole/hoop on at least 2 days [2/2] ✅

Do some form of writing on at least 2 days [4/2] ✅

This week’s goals

Stretch on at least 3 days

Train pole/hoop on at least 2 days

Practice fire fans and/or sword

Finish reading my book

Decide which book to read next + read 10 pages

Do some form of writing on at least 2 days

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Best of 2019

What a year. By the time 2019 ended, I had seen over 130 new movies. It's actually probably closer to 150 but I lost count. There are a few titles I missed, such as The Dead Don’t Die, The Fanatic and Honeyland so obviously, this is not an all-encompassing, definitive list of 2019’s best, but it should give you a good idea of which films you need to check out if you haven’t already.

I usually like to save the #10 spot on my list for a movie that’s just for me. Normally, this would mean a giant monster movie, an off-beat creation nobody else saw, a comic book movie that spoke to my particular tastes or maybe a Canadian movie I know didn’t get the opportunity to shine like it should’ve. This year, that’s not happening. Trimming my list down to 10 was hard enough. I certainly wasn’t going to sacrifice one more to make it just 9. Let's dig in.

10. The Farewell

It’s been weeks since The Farewell and I’m still thinking about it. If I was put in the same position as Billi, I'm not sure what I'd do? Is it better to tell someone that's dying that their days are numbered, or should you spare them from that burden? Is it really them you’d be sparing, or is keeping the secret for your own selfish needs? Writer/director Lulu Wang asks serious questions about culture I had never contemplated before. There’s a lot for you here and even more if your family comes from mixed backgrounds.

9. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I heard some complaints about Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) not being the main character of this film by Marielle Heller, from writers Micah Fitzerman-Blue and Noah Harpster. It was the right choice. The plot has a cyical reporter meet Rogers and through their relatively brief interaction, learn what we knew going in. It delivers a moving character arc without having to stain its subject with flaws we didn't want to see. The quasi-meta presentation is what elevates it into top-10 status. That extra touch means it does a lot more than simply re-iterate what we saw in the 2018 documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor?.

8. Knives Out

Knives Out is one of the most entertaining films all year. There are no profound moments of meditation, no earth-shattering realizations about yourself, just a mystery to be solved. All the suspects are so intriguing they could be the stars of their own movies. Put together in the same house as a dead body and you’ve got no idea who did it. Its screenplay is excellent. The twists are juicy. Everything ads up in a satisfying manner. Rian Johnson is already working on a sequel. I can’t wait.

7. Apollo 11

There are few holdovers from the list I made halfway through the year, which either says something about the strength of the second half of 2019, or the weakness of the first. Either way, you’ve got to see Apollo 11. It’s the closest thing to going back in time and being there when man landed on the moon. The tension and anticipation are overwhelming. Knowing what happened doesn't matter. The way the footage is assembled is nothing short of incredible. Why this documentary wasn't present at the Academy Awards is beyond me.

6. Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler should’ve been nominated for an Oscar. He wasn’t. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it's because of his association with all of those brain-dead Happy Madison Production comedies. His history with cinema shouldn't matter. The movie is what matters. The fact is, this was the perfect role for him. It isn’t even that Sandler’s doing something different, it’s that he’s being used to his full potential. If you weren’t glued to the screen, eager to see what’s coming next, this movie would have you jumping out of the window screaming - anything to escape the anxiety the Safdie Brothers serve up with devilish grins.

5. The Lighthouse

Next on my list is The Lighthouse. Right away, the aspect ratio and black-and-white cinematography lets you know you’re in for something different. You have no idea. What I love so much about this film is the way it handles madness. At the end of the day, I’m not sure if I could tell you if Robert Pattinson’s character was crazy, if Willem Dafoe’s character was the nutty one, or if they both were. It shows you just enough to make you doubt your own sanity. It’s also unexpectedly funny, which makes it feel oddly genuine. In one scene, Robert Pattinson's Ephraim Winslow gets a hold of the lighthouse's logs. In it, his boss, Thomas (Willem Dafoe) recommends Ephraim be disciplined for masturbating excessively. Considering Thomas has been cavorting with some kind of tentacle creature up in the lighthouse (at least that's what I think I saw, I'm not so sure anymore), all you can do is laugh. What kind of loony bin is this turning into? One I'm looking forward to revisiting.

4. 1917

Shot in a way that makes it all look like one take, 1917 is a technical marvel. It hooks itself up to your circular system and steadily replaces your blood with pure, undistilled stress. As you're about to flatline, it stops and gives you a breather. A shot of a meadow untouched by the ravages of war; a reminder of what the soldiers are fighting for and of how utterly devastating armed combat is on humanity as a whole. Gorgeous cinematography, powerful emotions, magnificent production values.

3. Joker

Along with Godzilla: King of the Monsters (a movie they basically made for me), this was my most anticipated movie of the year. To get ready, I watched Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, two Scorsese films Joker director Todd Phillips drew a lot of inspiration from. For some reason, it seems as though many critics took offense to the similarities. Sometimes I understand differing opinions from mine. This time, I don’t. It’s a great film that warns of the dangers of letting people like Arthur Fleck (brilliantly performed by Joaquin Phoenix) fall through the cracks. Left unchecked, he discovers that by doing terrible things, he becomes a “better” version of himself. It’s not a drama. It’s a horror movie that spins the familiar Batman archenemy in a new direction but also stays true to the character. There are several scenes in this movie that are going to be permanently imprinted in my brain. Those stairs. Need I say more?

Runner-ups

Avengers: Endgame

Even if every single Marvel movie going forward is awful, this caps off the whopping 22-chapter saga epically. A couple of aspects bugged me enough that it could only manage to make the runner-up list but it's a terrific film.

Booksmart

The funniest comedy of the year. I think back to Amy and Molly using their hairs as masks and still can't manage to hold back a few chuckles months later.

Toy Story 4

This one was hard to cut. The only flaw I could find was that it isn’t on the same level as 3… even though they’re both 5-star movies.

Midsommar

I’ve heard the extended cut is even better than the original. I wish I’d had the chance to see it in theatres.

Jojo Rabbit

Audacious and heartfelt. I loved those scenes of Scarlett Johanson being a mom. Her agent might've dropped the ball getting her cast in Ghost in the Shell but she sure knew how to pick great work in 2019.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino brings us back to a time when Roman Polanski was simply a good director instead of a convicted rapist, movie stars were untouchable, and the death of someone’s wife under mysterious circumstances was nothing to raise eyebrows about. It’s not a movie that screams “here and now”. If anything, it’s regressive. That said, I cannot deny the experience I had watching it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing and I doubt even Tarantino could pull it off again. I wonder how many people went in knowing what happened to Sharon Tate like I did.

Marriage story

It’s nothing but raw emotion and powerhouse performances in this drama about two people you love going through a divorce. I always make it my goal to watch movies all the way through without any interruptions. Several times throughout, I was tempted to hit "Pause" so I could catch my breath.

Internet lists are everywhere. You know why, don’t you? They suck you in and when you get down to it, most don’t require all that much effort to put together. Except when I make them, apparently. These bi-annual lists always turn out to be difficult to put together. 2019's proved particularly arduous. I’m fairly sure that my #3 movie belongs there. Out of all the movies on this list, it’s probably the one I’m going to go back to most often. The other two? I’d say that technically, one may be better than the other but I think the other one is “more important” so that gives it the edge. What I’m trying to say is, they’re all winners and on a different day, I might even swap them around.

2. Little Women

I have only seen three of the seven silver screen adaptations of Louisa May Alcott’s novel and I don’t expect any of the others to top this one. The secret ingredient to this one's success is Greta Gerwig. Writing and directing, she does so much more than merely translate the classic to movie form. She re-arranges the story to give the events a greater punch than they would if they were shown chronologically and puts a little more emphasis on a couple of key moments (that tear-jerking Christmas, for example) to crank up the emotion. She also makes it more modern without having to change anything about the setting or characters. Admittedly, the back-and-forth between the past and present is a little jarring at first - makes you wonder what Greta Gerwig could’ve done had she been given the de-aging budget Martin Scorsese was given - but that’s where the performances and costumes come in. It takes mere moments before you get what the movie is doing. I’ve said it already but it made me cry.

1. Parasite

To make this list, I didn’t go through all of my past reviews and check which ones were rated what. I thought back to which movies gave me the most vivid memories, which ones gave me the biggest reactions. I’m still not sure how I feel about the final final moment but there’s so much about Parasite that I admire. This would be a great one to watch with others just to see their reactions to the reveal about the bookcase.

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Thank you Mr. Yamada

Summary: You’re undergoing some serious stress involving grades and schoolwork, and when Aizawa proves less than helpful, you end up confiding in an oddly sweet and comforting Present Mic.

We’ve all talked smack about a teacher before right? Lol cuz this has some of that... and even good teachers make mistakes by telling us things we don’t want to hear... 

I wanna dedicate this to Mental Health month, because I know students have struggled with school and it can take a toll on our mental health, and not just school, but with work and life in general so... this might be my favorite fic so far. Cuz I’m sure we’ve all had those wonderful teachers who have actually helped us during some times where we really needed it.

And no there’s NO romance at all in this fic, Reader just has a crush on Present Mic but it don’t go no further than that. This is purely platonic anf fluffy fic featuring a teacher just helping out a student because teachers are supposed to help students. And I can see Present Mic being an emotionally intelligent dude since his intelligence is at 5/5, smarter than Aizawa cuz he’s only 4/5... XD

Sorry Aizawa lol...

And I shamelessly alluded to Mean Girls quite a bit in this one I just love that movie XD

BTW SORRY FOR ANY OOC-NESS!!

Featuring: Favorite Parakeet Dad!!

You're never gonna be alone! From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall, You're never gonna be alone! I'll hold you 'till the hurt is gone.

-”Never Gonna Be Alone” by Nickelback

“*You… have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand the rights I have read to you?*” 

In English class with your favorite teacher, you had recited the Miranda rights in often stated in America from police when they arrested villains and criminals during the lesson of differences in hero laws in Japan and America. English had gotten easier for you, and you liked to think you were slightly better at it than most of your classmates were.

“YES! Perfection (L/N)! Always the first one to answer right on the dot!” Yamada made sure to loudly praise you in front of the class, because while he didn’t want to play favorites like your homeroom teacher did, he felt that it was necessary since you looked like you needed a little support lately.

“T-Thank you, Mr. Yamada.” You somewhat shyly thanked your English teacher after receiving such praise, not entirely oblivious to some looks your classmates were giving to Yamada. They weren’t jealous or anything, but the loud pro-hero certainly made it a point to make you sound like the best student in this class.

Needless to say, it kind of made you happy since you had been struggling lately in your other classes. Especially with Aizawa. 

Speaking of which…

You were distracted and feeling kinda groggy the entire time in the Hero course, sighing as you tiredly stared off into space and barely registering anything Aizawa, or was it Iida talking? Whoever it was, you weren’t really listening, you were thinking of something else and trying to not think about how bad you were doing in class.

After seeing everyone improve on their quirks and overcoming their own issues, just… really made you feel like you were doing the opposite. And you hated it…

Everyday you tried your hardest, pushed yourself even if it made your muscles ache and your bones hurt the next day. You worked with your quirk as much as you could, even trying to carry a larger portion of water to try and control it as much as you could. Your parents worried that you were going overboard and trying to go beyond your limits, but you really just wanted to get better like everyone else. Not just to feel proud of yourself, but to make everyone around you proud. Even if it meant working yourself tired, and even if it meant forcing yourself to keep everything inside so you could focus on what mattered.

However…

For a while you had really been pretending to be okay until class ended and lunch break had started. Before you could get up to leave to the cafeteria, Aizawa stopped you.

“(L/N).”

You sighed to yourself, closing your eyes and preparing yourself to reluctantly go over to your teacher. What did you do this time? “Yes?” Despite your mood, you made sure to sound polite.

“I need your parents to sign this.” Aizawa gave you a report with a few marks on it, which was detailing a list of things you apparently needed to work on. “Let them know that you’re failing.” The words hit you like a school bus as you inhaled deeply.

“Failing?” You asked incredulously, even though you believed it based on your gradually worsening performances and lack of focus in class lately. He nodded, but it almost seemed as if he didn’t want to tell you this.

“That’s right. I’ve been seeing you regress during physical training. Your supermove also needs more work and thought put into. You barely managed to get your hero license because you had your classmates help you out. I don’t know what’s been distracting you, but you need to work on that because it’s getting in the way of your progress.” Every critique he gave you felt like arrows to your back as you kept your composure.

“I see that you’re struggling, but that’s why I’m telling you what you need to work on, because I know you have potential, but lately you haven’t been living up to it. You don’t want to waste it by letting your vulnerabilities show.” Aizawa wasn’t exactly trying to sound harsh, but he was being honest with you to let you know what he was seeing from you.

“How would you know what vulnerabilities are?”

You steadied your breathing while your teacher talked, resisting the urge to storm out and ignore him like you had been the past couple of months.

“I can help you. You’re here to become a hero, and it’s my job to make sure that you become one. And you can’t be a hero if you’re not trying to catch up to the others. But I know you’re stronger and smarter than this, so I’m going to give you more study sessions and training sessions to help you improve.” He offered you help, but all you heard was him accuse you of not trying to catch up.

“I understand. Thank you, sir, I needed to hear that.” You smiled politely albeit a little sadly. That was a complete lie, you were aware that you were struggling and the way he said all of that just made you feel like shit.

But you still smiled despite the emotions that were brewing inside you but you’ve been pretending to be okay for a good portion of your life so you knew how to keep the tears at bay. And you were NOT going to cry in front of your teacher, especially not the one you felt was bringing you down.

Aizawa looked at you pensively, as if he almost sensed that you weren’t being a hundred percent honest, so he asked you.

“Are you all right (L/N)?” Maybe he was a little harsh with his words, and he could tell that something was a little bit wrong, because he knew that your smile wasn’t real.

“No. No I’m good, I totally get it and I promise I will push myself hard, I know what I gotta do now. I just needed that little push.” You nodded, forcing yourself to sound more chipper as your fake smile grew. And you were thankful that you were good at acting since Aizawa seemed to believe your lies as he sighed a bit.

“Well good. I know you can do it. That’s why I’m pushing you.”

You almost missed the good intentions in his words, because you were too mad to even believe him. “Thank you again Mr. Aizawa. And if there’s anything else I can do to improve, just let me know and I will do it.”

As you smiled, you didn’t notice that your classmate Aoyama was there to eat lunch by himself and he saw right through you. He knew you weren’t being honest and that you most certainly weren’t happy after hearing everything yours and his teacher had told you.

“I will.” Aizawa said to you before you left the classroom in a bit of a huff…

SECONDS LATER…

“I HATE HIM!” You stormed off to scream in the bathroom, but you made sure that you were alone because you knew that ranting about this to the other girls wouldn’t allow you to vent. They would tell you a bunch of bullshit about how Aizawa was ‘trying to help’.

Why? Because they told you that the last time you tried venting about your troubles in class and didn’t help you at all. You loved those girls, but you wanted to slap them silly for dismissing how angry you were that day. So it was just better to vent to yourself, by yourself…

It’s not like they would understand anyway, they all seemed pretty pleased with themselves.

“He’s failing me on purpose I swear to God… that… that fucking jerk… why is it always me? Why am I always being the one singled out…? It’s not like I’m the dumbest and the weakest one in class…” You muttered and asked yourself when you thought about your other classmates who weren’t doing too good either, but they weren’t being called out for it.

Kaminari and Ashido were so much worse at taking tests than you were, and Mineta had a weak-ass quirk while your water quirk could at least pack a punch so why weren’t those three getting read like you were?

You have potential, but lately you haven’t been living up to it?

Did that mean you were losing your potential?

Wasting it and letting your vulnerabilities show?

Weren’t you a human first and a hero second?

Can’t be a hero if you’re not trying to catch up?

But weren’t you trying your damn hardest every goddamn day?

Who does Mr. Aizawa think he is? You wondered as you retreated from the mirror and locked yourself in one of the bathrooms stalls to sit down with your hands in your head, unable to stop a flood of tears from streaming down your face as you began wondering if you were overreacting.

At least, until the rest of your intrusive thoughts came to haunt you.

‘He’s right you know. You’re only mad because he’s right! And do you see Midoriya, Bakugou and Todoroki? They’re doing things you could never do! Congratulations, you’re going to fail and never become a hero cuz the only things you’ve succeeded in this class at all          is being weak, slow AND stupid. Your teacher sees it and your classmates can see it!’

The saboteur in your head taunted you as you cried quietly to yourself and trembled where you sat. God what were your parents going to think when you tell them you’re failing?

And on top of that, there was no way you were going back to class looking like this. You refused.

It’s not like anyone was going to worry or even notice that you weren’t in class because clearly, you were the weakest link in class. You felt that it was better if everyone just did their things without you. You were useless right now, and you were being completely honest, you didn’t want to see any of your classmates right now.

How could they relate to you? They were all doing so much better than you anyway, and they were all stronger, smarter and more talented than you were.

There was no way they could understand…

4 HOURS LATER…

You didn’t want to leave the bathroom, not when it was the only place of privacy where you could hide. Honestly, you were considering just staying in there for the rest of the day, and somehow sneak into your dorm-room and then stay in there for the rest of the night. No one would bother you, and most importantly, you wouldn’t bother anyone either with your pathetic problems.

However, realistically, you knew that couldn’t happen and you were getting kind of bored being all alone in this smelly room and with your phone on low. As much as you didn’t want to, it was time to get out for just a little bit and keep skipping class and fake an illness like mono if you have to; you weren’t going back to class, you absolutely refused.

Sighing, you slowly opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom with a heaviness in your chest that was begging you to go find someplace to sleep in an attempt to make this shitty day go away by closing your eyes. It was already close to the last class of the day, but you had no plans on showing up. Sure you’d get in trouble for it later, but at this point you barely cared anymore. All you wanted to do was stick to your plan and sneak back to your dorm-room so you could be miserable in peace.  

“(L/N)?”

Your favorite teacher’s voice made you freeze in your tracks and gasp audibly in shock. Just like that your body reacted on its own as you started shaking nervously but kept your back turned even though Yamada’s enthusiastic and loud voice was impossible for you to ignore.  

“There you are! Eraser’s been looking for you for a while! Said your classmates didn’t know where you were at! In fact, I think they’re all looking for you!”

Aizawa was worried about you? You honestly couldn’t imagine why, and you didn’t believe it. But just thinking about that was making you quiver more, fists clenching as your lips trembled and tears built up in your eyes, spilling down because there were too much for your eyes to hold back. There was nothing you could do, you wanted to just walk away or even run but how could you do that to Yamada? When he was the only teacher that you felt gave you the most praise when you clearly sucked at everything.

“Haha I can’t wait to see his face when he sees that I found you! And he was worried… but I knew you had to be around campus somewhere~. After all you’re not the type who would skip class, though to be honest you haven’t really been-”

Before he had a chance to finish his sentence you finally turned to face him with your lip quivering and tears running down your face as you sniffled. He quickly shut himself up as the smile on his face immediately fell and contorted into an uncharacteristically concerned frown. Looking directly at him, you saw what looked like worry in his eyes through his glasses. Yamada was usually such a loud man who was almost always smiling that seeing him so quiet and frowning was almost unnatural to you.  

“Hey… (Y/N)… what’s wrong?” He asked you in a rare, soft and very concerned tone. Something not many had the opportunity to hear from the loud-mouthed, carefree pro-hero.

As hard as you tried to keep it all in, everything just poured out of you. Word vomit at its best.

“I… I’m failing the hero course… and I-I’m… I’m trying SO hard… but it’s not enough… I-I haven’t been improving a-and… t-the more I think about it… the more I think t-that I… I should have tried harder… I should have studied harder… worked harder… but… it’s just so hard…” You shut your eyes as tears fell to the ground, unable to hold back the sob that crept out of your throat and made your shoulders shake up and down from the remaining cries that you apparently weren’t finished getting rid of yet. Apparently, you weren’t finished crying yet, and now the concern Mr. Yamada showed you was enough to trigger the overwhelming disappointment with yourself into making you cry in self-pity. 

You hated it.

Frankly, Yamada was alarmed by the sight of a student crying, but there was no way he was going to leave you alone. He knew what you were talking about too, he had noticed that you hadn’t been as energetic lately, nor did you seem happy at all. Sure, you paid attention in HIS class, but he knew that’s because you were confident in there. However, based on what Aizawa had been telling him about you and the rest of his students and from what he’s seen in your overall demeanor, he knew you had fallen into a slump and this was a result of bottling up all your stress. Now it was all pouring out and it practically broke his heart seeing you like this.

“M-M…M-Mr. Aizawa… h-he… he knows I’m weak a-and s-stupid… he’s not saying it outright, but I know he knows it… and he’s right… n-n-nno matter what I try, nnnnn-nothing works… I’m guh-getting worse… e-eh-ev-everyone’s getting better… e-e-everyone… b-but me…” You choked out tearfully in between sobs, barely able to even talk as you opened up what had been eating you up from the inside out.

“What? No! That’s not true! Trust me, Eraser and I talk all the time, and he does NOT think you’re weak… and if everyone’s getting better, then you are too! You’re a part of their class after all, they’re just improving in their own ways, and you are too!” Yamada has seen students break down before, but not quite like this where he was face-to-face with one, so he wasn’t entirely sure how to make you feel better. He wouldn’t give up though, not on his student.

“B-But… but it’s true… I-I… I’m not improving… I-I’ve… I’m regressing… i-in the tests, t-the combat… I-I keep losing… f-for me and m-my partners I’m p-paired with… a-and t-the gym… God the fucking gym… I-I can’t… I’m getting slower… I can’t run fast… e-even though I push myself as hard as I can I just c-can’t… l-look at me, I’m pathetic and weak, I’m weak, s-slow and stupid… I-I can’t ru-run fast Mr. Yamada, I-I c-can’t fight back, I can’t buh-b-be a hero, I-I’m the weakest link in my class, I-I’m ridiculous and sss-sllow…”

Dramatically and breaking down almost completely, you started running in place as if to emphasize your weakness in running as you continued to cry and unload the same intrusive thoughts that tormented you. You almost didn’t notice Yamada awkwardly walking closer towards you even if what he was seeing right now was hard to watch. An upset, anxious student overwhelmed by anxiety and self-doubt who was falling apart before his eyes.

“Stop it… S-Stop saying those things! Come on now… you can’t say that to yourself… you can’t treat yourself like that… come here…”

He shook his head at what you were saying about yourself, opening his arms out as you found yourself gladly letting yourself into your teacher’s hold as he gently put his arms around you in a soft hug while you clung to him and unabashedly cried your heart out. Yamada was an affectionate and hands-on kind of man in general, but as a teacher he didn’t want to cross his boundaries with a student. However, he cared about you very much, and you looked so upset that he couldn’t just let you cry and suffer all by yourself like this. As a teacher AND a hero, he felt like it was his job to comfort a distraught student who was clearly under a lot of stress. You might have been Aizawa’s student, but you were just as much one of his students as you were Aizawa’s!

“It… I-It’s s-ssso huh-hard… I-It’s just so… fucking… hard… I… I… I-I’m s-ss-sso tired of tuh-trying so hard a-and not d-doing anything right M-Mr. Yamada… n-nothing I-I do is… m-making me better… I-I… I-I’m g-getting w-w-worse…”

You’ve really done it this time. Crying like a child in front of your favorite teacher. And yet, hugging him felt so nice. So warm and comforting.

“I know… I know it’s hard… hey, hey it’s okay… I’ve got you… don’t hurt yourself sweetie, take deep breaths for me now, okay? Breathe…” He said in the softest voice you had ever heard him use as he held you while you clutched his costume, and he didn’t mind. Rocking you gently, he kept hushing you as you cried, your shoulders still trembling as he made sure to speak softly and gently to soothe your frazzled nerves as you followed his advice, trying to steady your rapid breathing by taking a few deep inhales and shaky exhales through gritted teeth. Inhaling sharply in an attempt to try and breathe again as you focused on the warmth coming from your teacher’s arms, slowly it was working.

“Good, that’s it… very good, shhhhh…” He praised you once he felt you slowing yourself down, knowing that you were in serious need of emotional support right now, and everything he was doing so far was working for you. You felt very safe at the moment, and not judged at all. Yamada was very patient with you too, he let you slow down so you could catch your breath and breathe properly, and he only spoke when you had eventually stopped shaking as you kept taking deep, steady breaths until you were calm enough and stopped hyperventilating.

“You’re trying very hard. Being a hero ain’t easy… but you’re not alone ya know? Ya see, while you might not think so, you’re trying just as hard, if not, harder than anyone else is! I’ve seen your effort, and your passion… Eraser’s a bit too much sometimes BUT! I’m sure he can tell you’re trying your best…”

“Mr. Aizawa doesn’t care about me, or how hard I try… he never has… all he cares about are the strong ones in our class… He only cares about Shinsou, Midoriya, Bakugou, Tsuyu, Yaoyorozu and Todoroki… all my friends… but not me… cuz I’m the weakest one… I’m sure he’s just ready to expel me anytime he wants…” Your tone was bitter, yet still fresh with sadness and your lack of self-esteem and distorted view was talking for you. Even though at times you felt as if Aizawa didn’t care about you, and it wouldn’t surprise you if he didn’t.

“Ha! He gives off that impression, doesn’t he?” He laughed a little bit, trying to lighten up your mood a little bit as you were calm enough to pay attention to him, blinking slightly as it pushed some stray tears down your face. “Eraser’s good at pretending he doesn’t care about his students… the thing is though he’s a total pusher, he pushes people, just like that teacher in Mean Girls. And he especially pushes his students BECAUSE he cares about them and he knows that they have a LOT of potential! And he definitely cares about you! I know he does! He definitely doesn’t think you’re weak!” That didn’t really do much to make you feel better since you already heard that from Aizawa. But surprisingly Yamada could tell that it wasn’t doing much to convince you.

“He just forgets that he can come off as a total hardass sometimes and that you kids are still kids who are gonna react differently compared to others. But don’t let that make you feel as if you’re not improving, because you are! You’re one of my best students! And I’ve seen the way you use your quirk. You’re really strong! You’re just in a little bit of a slump that’s all, nothing wrong with that though because every hero goes through slumps. I sure have! Every teacher in this school has! Including Eraser and even All-Might!” Yamada used his normal tone this time, enthusiastically saying oddly sweet and gentle words of encouragement to you.

At first you were surprised once you registered all of that, but you understood what he was saying. Basically, that none of the heroes were perfect, and that there wasn’t anything wrong with that. You yourself were far from perfect and prone to making a lot of mistakes and you struggled with things differently than your classmates might have, including anxiety, self-hatred and self-doubt.

Yet, Yamada still didn’t judge you, and he wasn’t judging you for being upset over this, if anything, his words just made you realize that while you weren’t perfect; there was nothing wrong with being imperfect because it happens to everyone, and that regardless of the slump you were definitely in, it didn’t make you weak.

“Look it’s perfectly normal to go through these slumps. We might be heroes, and we might be humans with quirks, but under the costumes and the hero titles we’re still just humans, the quirks are just bonuses, and they don’t change the fact that we’re humans at our core. Even if we chose to be heroes, we can’t forget or ignore our humanity AND our wellbeing, now can we? Our humanity is the basis of our heroism, don’t you think?” He asked you, raising a brow as you looked up at him almost adoringly. Sometimes you swore everyone forgot how smart Yamada was, but you didn’t, you thought he was wonderful.

In fact, you thought he was the most brilliant hero in the school, and you were absolutely marveled by him, especially right now. He told you everything you wanted and needed to hear. So, you nodded your head at his question, making him smile again.

“Don’t ever feel bad for being human. You know your limits and what your own personal issues are, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. And I know you get anxious and doubt yourself sometimes, but those don’t make you weak either. You are NOT weak and it’s OKAY to not feel okay sometimes, it does NOT make you weak. In fact, I believe you’re going to be one of the stronger heroes when you graduate and you’re going to be one of the most fantastic pro-heroes of your age! So, don’t think you’re weak or pathetic (L/N). Don’t you think that for one minute, okay?” He spoke gently again, and sounded slightly firm for a moment there, but it was still gentle and comforting as he grinned at you until a smile finally found its way onto your lips.

It was like a validation you never knew you needed, and just hearing him reassure you like this just made you tear up again as they freely fell down your face.

Sniffling, you whimpered and hugged him again in gratitude. Yamada was rather surprised at the sudden hug, but he quickly and gladly returned it with a big smile on his face, tearing up just a little bit himself; he was beyond happy that you seemed better now and that he was able to help you when you needed it.

“Okay… I won’t… I promise I won’t sir… thank you… but, you know… you actually gave me something else I didn’t know was what I really wanted…”

“Oh? What was that?”

“A hug…” You admitted somewhat shyly, since for a while you’d been desperately wanting a hug and couldn’t find it in you to ask some of your friends that because it felt so awkward. But thankfully, Yamada had given you what you had been wanting and needing. And admittedly, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have a bit of a crush on this man, even though you knew that it wouldn’t be possible because of the age gap, yet a part of you dreamed nonetheless for when you became of age.

As for Yamada, he was surprised by this and yet he still smiled while he hugged you. It was times like these that made him remember that this is why he became a teacher aside from a being a hero.

“I was happy to help (Y/N). And if you ever need to talk to someone about this or if you’re ever having another bad day, intrusive thoughts or anything else, you can always come to me okay?” He asked you softly, and you nodded in his hug with a warm smile, loving every minute of this and prayed that this could last just for a little while longer…

Sadly you didn’t get that wish.

“What’s going on here?” Aizawa’s voice startled you and Yamada as you both yelped and jumped a little bit in your hug, and slowly you pulled away to rather awkwardly turn to face the other pro-hero, whose eyes slightly widened upon seeing you.

“(L/N)?” Your own eyes widened, but you quickly looked away with a nervous look once you felt Aizawa’s eyes on you, staring at the ground as anxiety started creeping up on you again.

“Where have you been? You didn’t show up to class since lunch.” He asked you in a rare tone that almost sounded gentle. And worried? That really surprised you, but you weren’t exactly comfortable enough to answer him yet.

“Eraser! Perfect timing! I found (L/N)! And she’s okay!” Yamada cheerfully said and looked over at you. “You are aren’t you (L/N)?” However, he had to ask you that just to make sure that you were okay. And because it was Yamada speaking to you, you looked away from the ground to meet his eyes and you found yourself able to smile again at him.

“Y-Yeah… it’s been a while… but for once I can say that I am legitimately okay. Thanks to you Mr. Yamada.” You said, a bit bashfully but sincerely, not taking your eyes off your English teacher as he grinned happily, much to Aizawa’s subtle annoyance. Of course, he was relieved that you were okay, but he clearly saw that you weren’t looking at him.

“It was no problem! Anytime okay?” Yamada said to you sweetly, he was very genuine with you. And yet, he couldn’t help but kind of rub this in his friend’s face a little bit. Aizawa wouldn’t admit it, but it was working only a little bit, especially since his own student was being more open with his friend than him.

“(L/N) Are you all right?” Your teacher asked you, seeing your reddened eyes and the remnants of tears on your cheeks; at that moment he realized that you had been crying. You couldn’t tell that he had become rather concerned now since he had never seen you cry before.

However, as mad as you were at your homeroom teacher, you did eventually look at him before you wiped the dried tears from your face. “I’m sorry Mr. Aizawa… I skipped class… on purpose… I know I shouldn’t have … but, I… I wasn’t feeling well, and I wasn’t in a good place enough to come back....”

For once, you did see the care and concern in Aizawa’s now soft-looking eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your teacher. I know you’ve been struggling. I would have helped you if you told me that you needed it concerning your well-being.” He sounded like he was scolding you, and he was a little bit but now it was clear that he was more worried than upset with you.

You ALMOST wanted to cry again, but you didn’t now that you had gotten everything out with Yamada and felt better about yourself a little bit. Although you were feeling kind of guilty now for hiding everything else from Aizawa, it was time to get everything out with him too.

“That’s just it… I got in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you about this, with how bad I’ve been doing… I didn’t want to seem like I desperately needed help because I thought I could deal with this on my own.” You averted your eyes again, biting your bottom lip a little bit.

“And I have to be honest, I was hurt… I was hurt by your words today before lunch, it felt more like I was being judged than being given constructive criticism, like I was being told I wasn’t good enough, and that I wasn’t trying when I was trying my absolute hardest… when I’ve had plenty of people tell me that before… the minute you said that, I… I hated you in that moment… I wanted to punch you in the face… You were the last person I wanted to talk to about what was bothering me…” Almost shamefully, you covered your eyes with your fingers, unable to see the look of very subtle shock on your teacher’s face, as Yamada tried his hardest to not snicker, and it wasn’t working.

“I’m really sorry sir but I was just so hurt and angry that I could not bear the thought of asking you for help because I felt like I was just going to get judged again… but hiding wasn’t the right way to do it either… so I’m sorry… I never should have worried you.” You grabbed your arm nervously, guilt etched over your features even though you were finally being honest with Aizawa, just as you had been with Yamada.

Although you didn’t see it, Aizawa had the grace to look guilty. This wasn’t the first time he’s hurt one of his student’s feelings, and yet it never ceased to make him feel awful about it. Especially if it was enough to make one just avoid class altogether and cry by themselves. Worst of all, you refused to ask for his help because he hurt your feelings that badly.

“I appreciate your honesty (L/N). But you know that it’s never my intention to judge my students right? My purpose is to help you and your classmates improve and learn. I suppose I was too hard on you, and for that I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings.” He looked and sounded guilty, and for once you actually smiled at your homeroom teacher. Now you could register his words after clearing your head a little bit.

“I know… I’m sorry I took it so personally.” You felt bad though, even if you knew that your feelings were valid.

“Don’t be. I wasn’t really gentle with what I told you. I should have approached you better.” Aizawa owned up to not really being that nice in what he said to you, and you nodded in agreement, glad that he was taking responsibility for having hurt your feelings.

“Yeah your approach kinda sucked.” Despite that you gave a small chuckle and it surprised to see your own teacher give a low chuckle. Albeit, it was mostly because he was glad to see that you looked happier than you had been in months. He might not have been gentle about your struggles, but he knew you were struggling and it concerned him; he just didn’t know how to approach you about it the right way.

“You know that you’re going to still have to make up for all the classes you missed though, right?” But Aizawa still had to be your teacher, and this time, you weren’t sad to hear that from him as you nervously smiled.

“Of course… I saw that coming… I feel a little bit better to do that.” You said softly, even though you might not have been one hundred percent yet, you felt so much better after confiding in Mr. Yamada. And actually pretty inspired after he helped you and talked to you about taking care of your own mental health. “In fact, I’ve made a major decision after today.”

That however, surprised both Aizawa and Yamada, but they let you talk anyway to hear what you had to say.

“I’ve decided that I definitely want to work harder with my studies. The kind of hero I’ll be… will be one who looks out for people. Pick them up when they’re down. After all… it’s super important. Mental health is overlooked. I want to be that kind of hero for people who struggle like me.” You suddenly came to that conclusion after your talk with Yamada. It didn’t make all your issues go away, but his care for you during your breakdown gave you enough strength to get back up again and inspired you to think more about that.

“I’m going to fix all my mistakes, work on my super-move and rely less on my classmates. And I won’t let you down next time Mr. Aizawa. Because whoever you pair me up against, I’m going to kick their ass.” A smirk made its way to your lips, looking more confident and happier than earlier. Which pleased your teacher as he gave you a small smile, obviously happy himself that you finally looked more certain about yourself than you had been in months.

“I know you will.” Aizawa felt confident in you now after seeing the energy return to your eyes as you actually smiled wide at your teacher.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow. Mr. Aizawa. Mr. Yamada. And thank you again… thank you Mr. Yamada. I won’t forget this ever.” You bowed to them both, and Yamada couldn’t help but look very proud of himself when you gave him a second thank you, much to Aizawa’s annoyance.

“Of course (L/N)! I was happy to help!” Yamada’s enthusiastic tone bordered on a brag when he saw how peeved his friend looked, especially when their student smiled happily and politely left the two of them with a soft ‘good-bye’ after being dismissed.

“She’s got more spirit now.” Aizawa saw that in you again as he watched you walk away. “I knew she would find it again.” He always saw your potential; you just needed a little bit of a push. It worked too because now you were more than motivated now. He just wished he could have been the one to help you when that put you in a slump instead. And he wished that he didn’t make you cry…

“And I helped!” Yamada had to say that though, just to rub some salt in the wound. And Aizawa hated that it was irritating him this much. “But you’re right… she looks very determined now.” He snickered a bit.

“What’s so funny?” Aizawa asked him very curtly as he tried to not look as annoyed as he was feeling.

“With that fire in her… I bet whoever she fights tomorrow… she’s probably going to pretend that they’re you and punch them in the face.” Yamada smirked somewhat deviously at him, but then he shrieked when the other pro-hero glared at him with those angry, red eyes of his. Because deep down, he hoped that wasn’t true.

And unfortunately, it was.

Because the next day you were paired up against Kirishima. You were so full of a new-found energy and motivation that you were ready for this, and the first thing you did was punch him in the face before fighting, and you quickly won the match once you used your water quirk to its max level now that you had the fire back in you.

“Anybody else want some?!”

You shouted after successfully pinning Kirishima down and you were announced victorious. Quite a few of your classmates were startled, and some (especially Mineta) were terrified, even Bakugou looked mildly shocked by the spark you had shown them all. But you almost didn’t notice their reactions, but you were feeling amazing now; like you could do anything.

Although you DID quickly apologize to poor Kirishima afterwards, a lot in fact and you immediately felt guilty for beating him. But the sweet redhead just smiled and shrugged it off and happily congratulated you on your win. Even he could tell that you got a fire back in your stomach and he was happy for you.

“That felt good.” You smiled widely as you approached your closest friends Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida and Todoroki.

“Wow! (Y/N) I knew your quirk was strong but you… you really showed off even more power today…” Midoriya looked positively awed, his green eyes wide and practically sparkling in marvel.

“A most excellent performance (Y/N)! I think it was your best one yet! I’m proud of you!” Iida somewhat dramatically praised you, but he was clearly happy when he saw that you had a spark back in you.

“Oui. The sparkle in your eyes is back~.” You were hella surprised when Aoyama had remarked on your energy, but you still appreciated it. Even if you had no idea that he was aware of your struggles as you smiled at the blonde boy.

“Yeah! Are you kidding? You were more than good! You really showed everyone that you’re not to be messed with!” Uraraka then cheerfully praised you with a big grin, almost like she was amazed by you as you couldn’t help but hug the girl. “Aww! Guys thank you so much!!”

“No. Not good. Brilliant.” Todoroki gave you one of his rare smiles that he had reserved for you, which made you giggle and blush at all the compliments and praise your friends were giving you as you thanked each and every one of them personally. And your smile grew when you fondly thought about Mr. Yamada. You owed this to him after the way he helped you. And you would never forget it.

However, you couldn’t help but notice that after your battle with Kirishima that Mr. Aizawa was awfully silent and a little sulky afterward…

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 10 - SJS - Shoot

These back-to-back games against the Sharks marked the first time the Sabres have had a home-and-home series with a Western Conference team since 1995. They are now 5-0, UNDEFEATED, at home at Key Bank Center to start the season for the first time since the President’s Trophy winning season of 2006-2007. The Overtime winner also marked Jack Eichel’s sixth career OT game-winning-goal. That ties him with Derek Roy and Thomas Vanek for the most in franchise history (That stat courtesy of @SabresPR). There is some irony to that fact and Eichel’s two total goals this game considering the first period was a story of the Captain refusing to shoot the puck. We all know the stereotype of shoot guy. You high class folks down in the 100 level seem to act like it doesn’t happen down there but it does. There’s always someone yelling shoot, often times when it may not be wisest to shoot the puck. Tonight I was shoot guy. Tonight we all were shoot guy. Tonight was the right night to be shoot guy and I think Jacky boy knew it as he giggled at receiving the question about it in postgame. We’ll get back to that point. It’s worth discussing the way this team plays in tough situations. San Jose came out upset with themselves. They haven’t had a great start and Saturday night in NorCal Buffalo won the chest match. I don’t think it’s off-base to say the Sharks are a better team than the Sabres. Sure, they skew older these days, but they have the horses to win a Stanley Cup and all you can really do is get within striking distance of that chalice in this league. The other thing about this league is any team can win any night and for two games in a row on different coasts of the continent this Sabres team won. They’ve decided to keep that barn a fortress. Do I think they’re going to win the President’s Trophy like that last time they started 5-0 at home? No, but now they’re playing to their potential and that on a consistent basis might change the Spring narrative. Enough hype though, let’s look at the reality of this game.

They did not start hot like they have lately. In fact, they did a lot of flubbing out of the gate. Captain Jack was more-or-less one-on-one with a Martin Jones who WE KNOW is not so hot right now from three days ago less than a minute into the game. He passed the puck to Victor Olofsson who took an ill-fated shot in one of the more memeable moments of this season so far. This is not a new thing. Jack Eichel is a hungry boy for as long as he’s played organized sports. He plays to win but he also minds the team. Going all the way back to his rookie season we’ve seen this conflict between to pass or to shoot. In the early years he didn’t have great wingers so shoot please, Jack. More recently he has had good wingers and still he could shoot more. Like some kind of prophet the guys on this Sabres media team emphasized Eichel’s comments that he needed to shoot more. Ok: Coach says shoot more, your teammates say shoot more, YOU say shoot more, How about you shoot more, Jack? He did and it paid off but first we had to sit through a first period where the home team took more shots but it seemed like the Sharks got all the good chances. Dylan Gambrell scored his first goal on a redirect originating with Erik Karlsson on the blueline. It’s 1-0 Sharks a shade over five minutes in. It was hot and cold for the rest of the period. They got a powerplay and the Conor Sheary line, which was fire tonight, got a couple beautiful chances. As much as that powerplay looked hot again it yielded nothing. Want something else familiar? Marco Scandella gave up an ugly turnover in the defensive zone and nearly gave old pal Evander Kane a goal. I don’t care how well Henri Jokiharju is rehabilitating Scandella, bench him once Lawrence Pilut comes back! Tic-Tac-Toe Marc-Edouard Vlasic collected a Patrick Marleau assist to put the visitors up 2-0. It was not a fun first period.

Buffalo gets outshot in the second period mind you, but this segment they looked much more like the Kruger, connected, high-press team we’ve gotten used to this month. This was Jimmy Vesey’s best game as a Sabre so far, he and that Sheary-Mittelstadt pair were pushing hard. Vesey specifically had an expected goals and a corsi that was off the charts. The poor kid can’t buy a goal and he’ll continue to have to put up with punks like me until he does. The Sabres got a powerplay off a trip on Rasmus Dahlin and Jack Eichel shot to kill this time. The King of the Castle ripped a slapper from the circle, and it hit Martin Jones in the armpit. Luckily it had the power to keep going and so Buffalo got on the board. There was palpable relief in Eichel’s celebration looking heavenward. Had he not scored after the first period he had or worse, the team lost, that would have haunted him. You can tell because after a few missed chances in the first Ralph Krueger patted him on the back as if to tell him to keep his head up. The home team push picked up and Krueger made a strategic choice that may stick: he slid Jeff Skinner up to Eichel’s wing like last season. There was an immediate chemistry like old times. But the next decisive moment in this game came from Eichel’s other winger Sam Reinhart who tipped in a Rasmus Ristolainen rocket. The Captain’s super puck handling kept the puck in the zone just before the goal. Tie game 2-2. You could see Erik Karlsson was pissed as he went into the visiting locker room for the second intermission. With how the third period went in San Jose you knew this team was going to come back to win in the final frame.

Maybe anticipating similar third period festivities to Saturday night Buffalo picked up where they left off to start that final frame. Jack Eichel fought for the puck behind the San Jose net and got it out to Jeff Skinner in his office, right in front of the net. It was a 2018-2019 classic Jack to Jeff goal. The home side is now up 3-2 looking at a Sharks team they’re not really afraid at this point. While Jeff boy’s stunning smile lit up the Sabres bench Erik Karlsson plotted his revenge. But first we needed to be reminded we were playing one of those West Coast teams with one of those West Coast… styles. Yeah, let’s call boarding fools and starting fights a style. It’s no secret they play heavier hockey out west, but boarding Sam Reinhart is not a type of hockey. For everyone saying this team needs grit, take a look: there was a swarm. There was an ultimately inconsequential powerplay off the situation, but it makes you think what we have in terms of a physical response. Beyond the pugnacious side of Rasmus Ristolainen, Jake McCabe is never afraid to lay the hits and punch some faces. With Risto on the trade block Anthony Sciandra pointed out McCabe may not be taking the mantle of the overrated, beloved Sabres tough guy. McCabe does other stuff but the more I thought about Anthony’s sentiment the more it made sense. The Sabres got pushed out of the Ducks game physically. They didn’t fail the punk test this time and as far as I’m concerned that’s all I need them to do as far as the fighting game assuming they don’t lose their momentum from it. The Roaring Twenties line had a rare defensive lapse, particularly with Zemgus Girgensons not covering Karlsson and the Sharks tied the game up at 3. They smelled blood in the water and hemmed Buffalo in their own zone for segments of the remaining time in regulation. Ultimately Ralph Krueger would call a time out and they would hold the line until overtime.

This overtime period was damn near what I always want to see from their 3-on-3 overtimes. They possessed the puck for almost the entire extra frame. It was on a bungled line change when the Sharks got anything of a chance which ultimately got them no shot. It was on another line change when the Sabres registered what would apparently be the only shot on net in OT. Bodies flew at the net and sticks started slapping. The play began with Casey Mittelstadt bombing it in from the defensive zone to Rasmus Ristolainen who took the initial shot. It was a messy goal that originated with Jack Eichel. It looks like he gave the puck the momentum that carried it across the line and yes, before the goal was knocked off its moorings. The goal call would be reviewed but nonetheless the end result was a 4-3 win for the Buffalo Sabres to keep Key Bank Center their perfect home. That was all she wrote and that was it for the season for the San Jose Sharks whom the Sabres far and away have the best all-time record against.

Like, Comment and share this blog. These fun postgame reports are fun when the team is winning but sorry to say, they’re going to regress. I love the fun Sabres, but I don’t see them remaining atop this Atlantic Division. They have five games in ten nights now leading into the games in Stockholm, Sweden for the Global Series. They are setup nicely to fly inter-continental rather content with themselves. The next two games are a road trip to New York Rangers and Detroit, far from the fortress they’ve built down by the river in Buffalo. One of those teams you absolutely HAVE TO beat if you’re going to be taken seriously going forward. I’ll let you guess which one is which there. As we said earlier, any team can win any night in this league. If they’re going to be the team that continues to win on most nights they’ll have to lock down points much like they managed four against the Sharks. Those points are going to look great down the road, but they won’t be worth anything if they get buried in losses. I am a believer this team is for real at about 90% of the clip they’re running at right now. We have two very different tests later this week to see if I’ll be that fool again.

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. Oh, and the Leafs lost to Boston tonight too! Let’s treasure the little things while we got em, eh?

[crystalgibsus]

How to Get Back to Working Out after a Break

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Getting back into a workout routine can seem more challenging than starting one for the first time.

Depending on how long the break from working out was, the results you worked so hard to achieve may have diminished; the momentum you built may have vanished. Rather than having “nowhere to go but up” like when you started working out the first time, it feels like you’re starting from a point of regression, and this can be frustrating.

But it doesn’t need to be.

Whether you’ve missed a week, a month, or several months of workouts doesn’t matter. This is where you are now, and what other choice do you have but to move forward?

How to Get Back to Working Out after a Break: Step 1

Don’t lament the situation. Don’t concern yourself with any results that have diminished. Don’t engage in self-flagellation. Don’t experience guilt for skipping a few workouts or even “letting yourself go.” This is not some dire situation worthy of your pity or frustration and there’s no need to catastrophize it. Heaping on guilt or frustration won’t help you get back into working out.

Recommended article: One Simple Hack to Stop Screwing Yourself Over

Life happened, you missed workouts, and you’re here now, ready to take the next step. That is all that matters. So shake off any sense of guilt or frustration and get to work.

How to Get Back to Working After a One-Week Break

If you were working out regularly for months and then missed a week of workouts due to illness, extenuating circumstances, or something more enjoyable like a vacation, that one week off can feel like a setback.

Let’s make this clear: an occasional week off from working out is not a big deal, so don’t turn it into one. If you work out regularly, consistently, then a few weeks off scattered over the course of an entire year, for example, is like taking a few drops of water out of a bucket. There’s no visual affect.

The best thing you can do is not get upset about missing a week of working out and pick up where you left off as if nothing happened. (This is assuming you missed a week from a minor illness, vacation, or something else. If you had surgery or experienced an injury, that’s a different story.)

You may be stronger or have improved performance after the brief break (because fatigue had more time to dissipate), or your strength may take a small hit (due to a reduction in coordination). Either way, it doesn’t matter. Start back immediately and do what you can. You may need to perform a couple workouts to return to your prior level, or you may perform better than you did before the break.

To summarize what to do if you miss one week of working out: resume normal activity like nothing happened and adjust the workouts if needed. If the weights need to be reduced with the strength training workouts, do it. A decrease in weight and intensity may be necessary if you missed workouts due to an illness, like a severe cold or flu. If you need to scale back the duration or intensity of cardio sessions, do it. It’ll return to prior levels quickly.

How to Get Back to Working Out After a 2-4-Week Break

After missing one week of working out, most people can resume activity as normal with little or no modification needed (unless there was an illness in which case some modification may be warranted). If you miss two to four weeks of working out, a recommended modification is scaling back the total volume of the first several workouts, and perhaps start back with weights that are a bit lighter than you were using previously, around 5-10% less is a good guide.

Scaling back the total training volume — performing fewer sets for each exercise or performing fewer total exercises per workout — will help you ease back into working out so you don’t get too sore. As an example, if you were performing four work sets for each exercise before the layoff, perform two work sets for each exercise and use lighter weights the first few workouts.

This way you get back into the habit of working out, you don’t overwhelm your recovery abilities, and you get comfortable performing the exercises again. After a week or two you should be close to your previous strength levels and can continue as if the break didn’t happen.

How to Get Back to Working Out If You Don’t Know How Long It’s Been Since You Last Touched a Weight or Cardio Machine

Start doing something, literally anything, as soon as possible. Today. Now, preferably.

If there’s an activity you enjoy doing — strength training, cardio, or a hobby that involves moving your body — then start there. The best thing you can do is get started, then you can decide what path to take going forward once some momentum has been built.

To get back into strength training after an indiscernible layoff, a good approach is to revert to beginner status: use a few basic exercises, use weights you can dominate to reestablish confidence with the exercises, and resist doing too much too soon out of impatience.

Trying to jump back in at full speed after a long layoff isn’t smart. Getting brutally sore doesn’t make the results come any quicker; in fact, it can slow down progress because your body will be too busy repairing the damage just to get back to baseline, and therefore you won’t improve performance or build muscle.

Don’t be in a rush to get back to your previous performance, or bodyweight or shape. Give yourself room to progress in the workouts by not doing too much too soon. Give your body time to rebuild strength and work capacity.

Why Did You Stop Working Out in the First Place?

Most people don’t ask this question after a long layoff from the gym. But they should, and, likely, you should too.

Perhaps you had to deal with a crucial real-life matter that took priority. Maybe you used your usual workout time to perfect a work project. If your break from working out was a result of more important life demands, get back into the habit of working out with your preferred routine.

However, if your absence from working out was because your previous regimen was unsustainable (i.e., it didn’t fit into your lifestyle; your life revolved around the program, so you quit), you often dreaded the workouts rather than look forward to them, the workouts took too much time to complete so you ended up skipping them, you were constantly sore or spent more time managing aches and pains rather than working out, then it’s time to adopt a new approach to get back into working out.

Recommended article: The Secret to Fitness Success (That’s Not Useless Crap)

If any of those scenarios describe you, don’t just restart. Restart with a better plan that fits your preferences, goals, and lifestyle. Set yourself up for success this time.

Choose a physical activity or workout that you would enjoy doing. Use whatever equipment you prefer or feel comfortable using. Perhaps focus on getting strong instead of burning calories if the latter is all exercise has ever been about for you. If time isn’t a luxury you may simply need workouts you can perform within 30 minutes so you can complete an effective workout and then get on with your life. (If this is you, check out the article How to Make Short Workouts More Effective.)

Fitness should be a lifelong pursuit; do what you can, now, to make sure that happens.

The One Rule That Rules Them All

Regardless of where you find yourself right now — having missed a week of workouts or you haven’t done any structured exercise in a year or more — the next step is the same: start immediately. Get back to feeding the workout habit.

Given my tremendous bias to lifting weights, that would mean performing some type of strength training workout, whether it’s with barbell exercises or dumbbell exercises. Ease into it if you must: use light weights you can dominate and focus on using efficient technique and get reacquainted with what it feels like to push and pull weights around again.

Not sure if you’re performing some of the basic exercises correctly? Use these tutorials to get you going:

How to Squat

How to Deadlift

How to Bench Press and Perform the Standing Press

How to Perform the Barbell Row and Chin-ups

Or maybe you prefer cardio; that’s great too. Go for a walk around your neighborhood to get started, if that’s the easiest option.

To get back into working out after a layoff, especially a lengthy one, it really does not matter what you do, only that you do something. Then keep doing it.

While you’re here, sign up for the newsletter. You’ll receive insider-only information and other great stuff not shared anywhere else.

The post How to Get Back to Working Out after a Break appeared first on Nia Shanks.

from Tips By Crystal https://www.niashanks.com/how-to-get-back-to-working-out-after-a-break/

[moorefitness]

How to Break Training Plateaus

This is possibly one of the most important articles I have ever published. It addresses how to break through a training plateau, which is probably one of the most commonly asked questions on the internet.

I say I, but actually, this is a section from our Muscle and Strength Training Pyramid book, so I should say Eric, Andrea, and I. Though I have made additions so that this works as a stand-alone article.

The training plateau trap people get into is usually thus:

Start training seriously. > Progress linearly and consistently by adding weight each session. > Stall.

Train a little harder (more effort). > Progress then stall.

Keep adding weight anyway, form degrades over time… *snap* > injury. Frustration, loss of motivation, 1–3 months break from gym entirely (instead of working around it and training what you can.)

Re-start training with more attention paid to good form. > Progress up to and past the previous plateau. > Stall.

Train a little harder. > Progress then stall.

Change from adding weight each session to something marginally more complex (like linear periodization or double progression, covered in our progression article). > Progress then stall.

Frustration. Google to the “rescue”! > Drop sets, giant sets, supersets, ‘new and shiny’ training program, bro splits, more, more, MOAAAR! > Stall.

Sound familiar? This article is here to fix that. It will show you how to systematically assess and address training plateaus.

However, a warning: the steps in the checklist we’re about to present are easy to understand, but they won’t necessarily be easy to identify as being true for you. — The ego has a nasty habit of getting in the way. But things are not progressing as planned because you are doing something wrong, right? Bear this in mind as you read and let’s solve this once and for all then.

First though, a little theory…

Avoid Black and White Thinking

Don’t look at the volume, intensity and frequency guidelines with your absolutist glasses on. Just because the number of sets we are recommending is in the 10–20 range, performing 9 sets doesn’t mean you won’t grow at all and performing 21 sets doesn’t mean you will overtrain and regress.

Also, when looking to compare other programs, remember, you can make a good high intensity, high volume, or high-frequency program if you adjust the other variables. This means you may find an “optimal” approach that falls outside of these general guidelines—“optimal” for you, if you adapt to it.

Progress is not an on or off switch. It’s not that we make gains or we don’t, it’s maybe we make better progress by adjusting some of the variables.

Remember the meta-analyses we have available are primarily on studies comprised of novice trainees with few studies on “trained” lifters that I would typically classify as intermediate. If you are a novice, start on the low end of the volume recs (~10–13 sets week). If you are more intermediate or advanced (and you don’t know where to start), try the mid to high end of the range (~14–20 sets a week), and then adjust from there.

Increase Volume As Your Fitness Improves

So, too much volume is counterproductive as it accumulates too much fatigue. But it is also true that for the most part, strength and hypertrophy gains increase with more volume.

When you have been training for a while and have made good strength and mass gains, but have plateaued with your current training, in order to make more progress you may need to increase volume. You will not necessarily want to add volume each training day, week, or even month, but increasing volume gradually over your training career as necessary, may be needed for progression [20].

A good way to think about volume over your career is to do enough volume to progress and only to increase it when progress has plateaued (assuming you are recovering normally). This is a much smarter choice than constantly putting yourself in the hole with fatigue by adding volume prematurely and having to drop volume back and taper all the time. Also remember, that if you are lifting heavier loads, even if reps and sets are the same, that is an indication that progressive overload has occurred and you are adapting.

Do enough to progress, not as much as possible. Increase when plateaued if you are recovering well.

So, how do you know whether adding volume is the answer to your training plateau or whether you need to change something else?

You can use this handy flowchart:

A Checklist When Training Progress Has Stalled

Experience tells me (this is Andy speaking) that a whole bunch of people reading this are going to ignore some important points, read only what they want to read, and quickly conclude that they need to increase their volume. Stop. Let me spell it out a little more for you a little clearer first.

This is the order of your checklist in that first yellow box on the right:

1) You’re not sleeping enough: If you aren’t sleeping 8+ hours, as hard as it may be to do so, that might be your issue. Yes, you may be waving your hands in the air right now, “Impossible, I have kids!” Ok, I get it, but that doesn’t change this fact. Try to sleep more. If you’re sleeping just 6 hours then aim for 7 and see how you do.

2) You’re not eating enough: You can’t expect your body to make something from nothing. The leaner you are and the more training experience you have, the harder it becomes to make progress while your weight is stable or decreasing (aka. when you are at caloric maintenance or below).

On average, for a guy that is say, dieting (aka. ‘cutting’) from 20% body fat to a stage shredded 5% (add 8% to these figures for women), they’ll make progress during the first 1/3 of the cut, work to maintain their progress during the middle third, and then probably regress a little in the last 1/3 as they get below 9% body fat.

Most people reading this won’t be competing, but many of you will be looking to get down to that 9-12% body-fat range at some point, which for guys is when your abs are nicely through. What this means is that your progress will likely stall at some point while you are cutting regardless of what you do. Fighting this can get you injured.

3) You’re not eating enough protein: If you aren’t consuming enough protein, consume it. In the most up to date and comprehensive meta-analysis on the effect of protein on muscle and strength gains in individuals not in an energy deficit, the beneficial effects of protein plateaued between 0.7 and 1.0 grams per pound (1.6–2.2 g/kg) of body weight 1. (What probably makes the most sense for protein intake while you’re dieting is somewhere between 1.0 to 1.2 grams per pound (2.2–2.6 g/kg) of body weight. However, this doesn’t mean eating sufficient protein negates the importance of the previous point (2).

4) Your training too hard or not hard enough: Undershooting RPE means you’re either not training hard enough, which is exceptionally common. Overshooting RPE means you are training too close to failure, too often, which is causing a higher level of fatigue that is desirable, hampering your progress. This is less common. (If you don’t have our book, you can learn about RPE in my article here.)

5) You’re not training each bodypart / lift frequently enough: Are you hitting each muscle group (if you’re a bodybuilder) or lift (if you’re a powerlifter) at least twice a week? If not, consider adjusting your routine to do that. (If you don’t have our book, we have four sample programs to show you what we mean by that, or get you started here.)

6) Your lifting technique is poor: Are you training with good form, or using such poor form you’re cheating yourself out of progress? I’m not really talking about people who swing their bicep curls, kip their pull-ups, or perform rows with the momentum of their whole body — such mistakes should be obvious and are present in every gym I’ve ever set foot in. I’m talking about people who are trying to be conscious of their form but aren’t quite getting it right.

If you have a trainer you can trust or friend that knows their stuff, have them take a look. Otherwise, consider checking out The Lifting Library, which is an exceptionally underpriced video product by my co-author Eric and his coaching team.

These Are Principles and Guidelines, Not Rules

There isn’t a right or wrong way to train. We’re just trying to get you in a ballpark of the right place to start so that you can adjust.

The recommendations are actually very wide-ranging when you think about it. There is a twofold difference between doing 10 sets and 20 sets for a muscle group or movement. Despite its broad nature, you will typically see a similar outcome in the majority of people training in this range. Plus, these guidelines should just be seen as the average range that will occur over the course of a cycle of training. There can and should be periods that are above and below these ranges depending on the phase of training.

Also remember, studies report averages, but each person is an individual and there are always outliers who will do best on substantially more or less volume or a lower or higher frequency than what we recommend. So, start here, give yourself time, see if you progress, then think about adjustments.

10–20 sets per muscle group/movement, a place to start and adjust from, not a law to live your life by.

Remember, don’t get impatient. Volume will increase over the course of a training career as you progress; however, it won’t necessarily increase from session to session, week to week, or month to month, because you’ll have elements of periodization in your programming. The concept of needing more volume to grow is a concept to apply over a career of lifting, as needed when progress stalls. Don’t use this book to justify doing full body 6 days a week with 20 sets per muscle group per session by next year because “volume has to keep increasing bro!”

Just do enough volume to progress and only increase when you need, not want, to do more.

If you have found this helpful, you might be pleased to know it is just a small section taken from our Muscle and Strength Training Pyramid book. The second edition, along with the Nutrition companion book, was released this January 3rd, 2019.

Join 16,000+ other readers, get your copies here.

Thank you for reading. Questions welcomed in the comments.

– Andy, Eric, and Andrea

The post How to Break Training Plateaus appeared first on RippedBody.com.

[iloveyoupittsburghpirates-blog]

That Was A Painful Week, Pittsburgh Pirates

My Dearest Pittsburgh Pirates,

Woof. It’s hard to remember a more brutal week in recent memory than the one you just had. It actually would’ve been punctuated perfectly if you would have got no-hit my Michael Wacha yesterday. Fortunately, Colin Moran singled in the 9th inning to keep that from happening. In a vital week, you went 2-5 against two of your division rivals. You were shutout twice, your bullpen lost four games, and you are currently 6 ½ games out of first place and 3 ½ games out of a wildcard spot. You are only one game over .500. My how things have changed. This week felt ominous after going 2-5 against teams like the Padres and Reds. Your last ten games have been against the Cardinals and Cubs. In those games, you went 3-7. You are finding ways to lose games. That’s usually a characteristic of a bad team. I’m not saying you are one, but you’ve certainly played like one over the last couple weeks. There’s not some grand idea that will fix your problems. Make the routine plays, have smarter at bats, don’t blow late game leads. These aren’t exactly far-fetched concepts. I don’t know how you will do it but you need to start improving immediately before this entire season slips away.

These past seven days could have gone in such a different direction. I’ve been heaping praise on the bullpen for the past few weeks and even though they had already started regressing, nothing could have prepared you or me for what occurred. Since last Sunday, you’ve lost six games and four of those were because of the bullpen. In three of those four loses, you had a lead that the bullpen blew. There is almost no one who isn’t due blame except maybe for Kyle Crick and Tyler Glasnow. The greatest offender has been your closer and recipient of a contract extension this past off-season, Felipe Vasquez. He currently leads the league in blown saves, his most egregious coming on Thursday with a three-run lead. You trailed 4-0 after the first inning and fought back to take an 8-5 lead thanks to an 8th inning, three-run homer by Cervelli. In the 9th, Vasquez gave up a double, a horrible error by SRod at third, a walk, a two-run single, and a three-run homer. Game over without recording a single out. His ERA is 4.84 and, even worse, his WHIP is 1.57. While Vasquez is certainly to blame for his poor performance, some fingers need to be pointed at the coaching staff. As we discussed in last week’s letter, Vasquez left the game last Sunday not being able to lift his arm due to elbow pain. Always a major red flag. On Monday, you deemed it not a problem, cleared him to pitch after a bullpen session, and gave him the day off. Fine. Then, inexplicably, you allowed him to pitch in each of the next three games. Hurdle used to have a rule against throwing a reliever three games in a row. This time he does it after a potential arm problem and after only giving him one day off. That means he pitched four out of five games after serious elbow pain. That’s completely unacceptable. Hurdle and his staff put him and the team in a position to lose. No one else in the bullpen has been reliable so I understand wanting to rely on Vasquez but that shouldn’t be when he’s struggled mightily and it shouldn’t be when he’s had arm issues. Use your head!

I do have to give you some credit. It’s seems like you are stating to adjust to baseball’s new pitching trend. The starting rotation provided the most, and only, amount of optimism this week. Jameson Taillon and Chad Kuhl are starting to come to fruition because you’re beginning to follow the Astros’ philosophy that seeming made their pitchers unstoppable (along with pine tar) which is throwing more off-speed pitches. Kuhl is throwing his slider 1/3 of the time now and he’s become more consistent ever since the change. Over the last month, he has a 2.80 ERA and a 1.16 WHIP. Taillon developed a slider for the first time three games ago and already has a major league ready version. That’s wildly impressive. He used it regularly in his masterpiece on Friday night. Opponents numbers against his slider are terrible so far and he’s struck out batters almost 1/3 of the time when he throws it. If these two are beginning to figure it out and you believe in Musgrove’s terrific start, then decision needs to be made. Even though Trevor Williams has regressed from his hot start, he’s still looking like he could be a reliable 4th or 5th starter. That leaves one more pitcher in the rotation and it should be Nick Kingham. Ivan Nova will be back soon and he should be your long reliever. Screw starting him because he has a big contract. If it’s not Kingham, Tyler Glasnow has pitched well enough out of the bullpen recently to either be worthy of making the starting five or being used in high leverage situations. Nova can come into games and throw strikes. That’s actually a valuable trait for a long reliever. The upside for everyone else in this staff is much higher than Nova. If you can’t make a deal for him, use him in the bullpen. I truly believe he can thrive there.

It’s been a bad week for Serpico. As far as hitting is concerned, it’s been a terrible year but SRod’s one strength has been compromised. When you traded to bring him back last season, most fans loved it especially when he hit a walkoff homer his first game back. His guaranteed contract of 5.75 million this year should probably have been more of a concern but when you cut so much salary this offseason with the Cutch and Cole trades, it became easy to overlook. The hope was that he could continue to play every position at a high level and could get back to his form two seasons ago with you when he hit 18 homers. That hasn’t come to fruition. SRod has splits of .167/.279/.323 for a .602 OPS and has struck out 35 times in 96 at bats which means he strikes out 36% of the time. That’s egregious. His error on Thursday helped open the flood gates in the 9th inning which led to a devastating loss. Yesterday, with runners on first and second in the first inning, a ball was hit to SRod at shortstop that should have been a double play. He botched it so instead of two outs and a man on third, there was no outs and bases loaded. The next batter, Marcell Ozuna, hit a grand slam. It’s nearly impossible to bounce back from a 4-0 lead in the first inning. I loved SRod as a utility player, but his one strength was his versatility on defense. When you continuously make huge errors and you’re not hitting, you lose all of your value. Then you end up like George Kontos.

There’s no use crying over spilled milk. What’s done is done. You can obsess over past transgressions and allow this stretch of games to define the rest of your season. It’s easy to keep sinking when things aren’t going well and right now they definitely are not. Your schedule doesn’t get any easier either. After the day off today, you come home to play three against the surging Dodgers. They were floundering due to injuries but now they are getting healthy and they have won seven of their last ten games. Clayton Kershaw going back to the DL will help your cause (not my fantasy team’s though) but this won’t be an easy series. You follow that with a trip to Chicago to play the Cubs who have won eight of their last ten and now have the third best record in the NL. You need a way to pull yourself out of the gutter. The bullpen obviously needs to pitch better but this stretch of losing isn’t totally their fault. You’re still not getting enough production from Gregory Polanco and Josh Bell. Bell has an OPS under .700 right now and he’s batted cleanup almost every game this season. That hurts in a big way. Things need to change and they need to change right now. If they don’t, you will be sellers at the trade deadline again. Find ways to improve and we will see what this week holds. Enjoy the day off and get to work tomorrow. Hopefully I talk to you under better circumstances next week. Still love you!

                                                                    Trying Not To Totally Lose My Mind,

                                                                                             Brad

P.S. stands for the Prodigal Son returns. Jung-ho Kang has started playing games in Single-A since his return to the states. He’s only played two games but he’s already walked three times and hit a grand slam. He’s played shortstop in a game so there is reason to believe he could play there next year if Mercer is gone or can provide depth at third and shortstop this season. Kang is still a long way from a promotion to the majors but it’s reasonable to believe that it will happen this year. Actually, when he is ready that could spell the end of SRod. You have four legitimate outfielders now and Kang can play SS at 3B. You might be light at second base but JHay and Frazier (kind of) can handle that. I wouldn’t be opposed to trying Kang there too. The only thing that’s certain is the Kang saga will be one of the most interesting stories as the season progresses.

[365footballorg-blog]

Armchair Analyst: Your complete guide to the Week 12 MLS slate

May 18, 201812:16PM EDT

Nobody reads ledes anymore, right?

Into the weekend we go:

Friday Night

Toronto FC vs. Orlando City SC

8 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

In last Sunday’s column I caused quite a stir by putting TFC in their own tier because, despite their record, I think they’re fine. You, my beloved and gentle and maaaaaybe not entirely rational readers, think otherwise. Some numbers provided by Opta back up my point.

Team GD xGD GD-xGD Toronto -6 1.57 -7.57 Philadelphia -6 0.5 -6.5 Vancouver -8 -2.92 -5.08 Columbus 7 11.68 -4.68 D.C. United -6 -1.98 -4.02 LA Galaxy -5 -1.1 -3.9 Chicago -4 -2.85 -1.15 Atlanta 12 12.75 -0.75 Montreal -12 -11.69 -0.31 Seattle -4 -4.1 0.1 Minnesota -8 -8.11 0.11 LAFC 6 4.92 1.08 Orlando 4 2.57 1.43 San Jose -2 -4.04 2.04 RSL -8 -10.14 2.14 NY Red Bulls 12 9.7 2.3 Colorado -2 -4.45 2.45 Portland 0 -2.71 2.71 NYCFC 5 2.17 2.83 Houston 5 2.1 2.9 Sporting KC 11 7.32 3.68 FC Dallas 5 1.18 3.82 New England 4 -2.37 6.37

The point stands for most players and teams who are either vastly underperforming or vastly overperforming their expected goals: Eventually they regress/progress back to the mean. Eventually those looks – like Marky Delgado’s against Chivas, or Tosaint Ricketts’ against Seattle, or Jay Chapman’s against New England – start falling. And as the defense gets healthy (expect to see Chris Mavinga and Gregory van der Wiel in central defense this weekend) and they get the disastrous Ager Aketxe out of central midfield, there will stop being the types of defensive breakdowns that buried them in the first half against the Revs.

So my official stance is that TFC are fine, and they will have the bonus of going against an Orlando City team that’s without Yoshi Yotun (yellow card accumulation) and Dom Dwyer (lower body injury) Friday night. That’s not fine for the Purple Lions.

If TFC lose or even draw this one then come back here and feel free to dunk on me and them. That said:

I also think TFC will be fine, but right now almost half of all opposition shots are on target. That’s… not great. pic.twitter.com/1USqQefvCB

— Rob Lowe (@LoweDownStats) May 18, 2018

Make sure you give Rob some credit when you do so.

Saturday Slate

NYCFC vs. Colorado Rapids

1 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

As Ben Baer wrote earlier this week, NYCFC have played – by far – the toughest schedule in the league. Seven of their 11 have been on the road, and many of those have been against the league’s best teams (the likes of Atlanta, Sporting and RBNY). They have performed beyond admirably, taking nine points from those seven games.

At home they’re an absolute wagon at 4-0-0 with 11 goals scored and just 2 conceded. The House that Lampard Built™ has treated them well.

As for the Rapids…

This chart also shows that, with a -5.8 xGD, #Rapids96 haven’t been very good at creating good chances while preventing the opponent from getting good chances. 19th in the league. And the 3.8 GD-xGD means we’ve been lucky. So big warning: regression ahead for Colorado. https://t.co/yO0m5FhKpp

— Rapids Rabbi (@rapidsrabbi) May 18, 2018

They have just one of a possible 12 points on the road thus far, and while their back five is, in theory, suited toward walling off the final third on a small pitch, the reality is that teams have pretty easily been able to shoot the gaps between Colorado’s wingbacks and wide central defenders. Look for David Villa to drift out left and get on the ball in that channel with runners ahead of him – in particular Ben Sweat underlapping to post up on the edge of the box. 

Portland Timbers vs. LAFC

3 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

LAFC have lost a good deal of their explosiveness in the last few games following the injury to Marco Ureña. The Costa Rican center forward never scores, but his hold-up play and movement drag opposing defenses around and allow guys like Carlos Vela, Diego Rossi and Latif Blessing to hit gaps that otherwise don’t really exist.

Even without him, though, LAFC have been damn good. They’re in the midst of rewriting what’s possible for an expansion team:

.@LAFC’s 10-game start and where it ranks among @MLS expansion teams:

– 20 points (1st) – 22 goals (1st) – +6 GD (2nd behind 1998 Fire)

— Paul Carr (@PaulCarrTM) May 14, 2018

Saturday’s trip to Portland will be a different kind of test for them, as the Timbers have found themselves over the past month by dragging numbers behind the ball and trying to bottle the game up. They’re toggling between a 4-3-2-1 and a 4-2-3-1 but the point of how they play each is the same: Put and keep numbers in Zone 14 to protect the backline, and defend deep so that guys like Diego Valeri and Sebastian Blanco get the ball on the run.

It’s obviously working, as the Timbers are on a run of three straight shutout wins for the first time in their MLS existence.

FC Dallas vs. Vancouver Whitecaps FC

4 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

I will always feel that the Red Bulls won the Tim Parker for Felipe + cash trade because 1) If you have a pair of mid-20s domestic center backs (who are good) to build around, it makes constructing a balanced roster so, so much easier; and 2) TAM grows on trees.

That said, Felipe’s been excellent. The diving/after-the-fact fouls/outright dirty play of league’s most despised player (he’d win it with like 90% of the vote, folks) often overshadows the fact that he remains a very good soccer player, and his ability to conduct the game has boosted the once moribund ‘Caps attack over the past month.

They really have figured some stuff out in central midfield, and while he’s not a true No. 10, he hasn’t really needed to be. To my eye he’s the catalyst behind better overall attacking play in recent weeks:

Date Expected Goals 28/04/18 2.93 12/05/18 2.84 17/05/18 2.32 05/05/18 1.99 10/03/18 1.49 04/03/18 1.24 08/04/18 1.18 17/03/18 0.86 25/03/18 0.86 21/04/18 0.64 31/03/18 0.45 14/04/18 0.29

Yordy Reyna isn’t a true No. 10 either, but he looked like it the other night in a disappointing 2-2 home draw against San Jose. If those two guys can in a groove and stay on the field, then Vancouver will have finally found their attacking Plan B and won’t be so reliant upon long-balls and crosses. It’s an “if” since the sample size is not large right now, but it’s been promising. 

The problem with the ‘Caps – and yeah, this goes back to the Parker thing – is that their defense has been outright bad. They got beat over the top on San Jose’s first goal. They got beat up the gut on San Jose’s second goal after Efrain Juarez decided “maybe nah, running’s hard.” They gave up one against Houston when they simply didn’t track Tomas Martinez, and another when they were slow to a deflected ball at the top of the box. 

Can’t play like that at home against struggling teams and expect to win. Play like that on the road against an FC Dallas team that’s finding something close to their 2016 form? Yeah… not gonna end good for the ‘Caps unless they clean it up.

New England Revolution vs. Columbus Crew SC

7:30 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

We’ve sung Gregg Berhalter’s praises up and down for his ability to get tap-ins for his center forwards over the years. He deserves it – a parade of guys have had their best years when playing for him in his system.

But it’s not all the system. This really is a precise, deceptive and patient run from Gyasi Zardes:

He gets into Johan Kappelhof’s head so early with the threat of the back-post run, then angles near post and forces Kappelhof to commit. At which point he jams on the brakes and lets him fly right by, then plants himself in the perfect spot for the one-touch finish. And let’s dap Niko Hansen the hell up for his 60-yard run and assist.

I really love that goal.

The Revs have been successful this year in large part because they’re not giving up goals like that. They’ve done an exceptional job of 1) high pressing other teams into useful turnovers, and 2) only rarely getting turned around and running back at their own goal. If you’re going to beat them, it’s going to be by packing them into their own end and forcing individual mistakes (which can and does happen, though Matt Turner bails them out all the time).

Anyway, New England’s gonna come out and try to press Zack Steffen into a mistake. If Columbus are able to play through that press and get on the run a little bit, there will be many goals in this game.

Philadelphia Union vs. Real Salt Lake

7:30 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

RSL are starting to do some nice things in attack:

They are also dislocated all over the place through central midfield and central defense, which is/has been problematic. They keep getting drilled during the final 30 minutes of just about every game they play, including against 10-man D.C. United last week (RSL were fortunate to hang onto a 3-2 home win).

What is left to say about Philly? They look like they know what they’re doing most weeks, and while they have some weaknesses at the back that are typical of young teams, their attack should be better than it is. It’s just that pretty much nobody’s finishing.

San Jose Earthquakes vs. D.C. United

10:30 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

The Quakes went to a 5-4-1 at Vancouver on Wednesday and got themselves a very nice result. It doesn’t change the fact that their backline has been leaky and left back has been something close to an open wound all season long. Teams are able to go at whoever’s out there and find both time and space to cause problems.

Keep an eye on center forward Danny Hoesen in this one, by the way. He now has goals in three of his last four games.

As for D.C. United… who knows? Winger Paul Arriola is maybe going to play as a No. 8, there are injury concerns in a few spots, Lucho Acosta threw a fit when subbed last week, and the defense is a weekly disaster.

Sunday Slate

Minnesota United vs. Sporting KC

2 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

Young Harrison Hamm wrote a very nice debut article for the nerds over at AmericanSoccerAnalysis. Go read it.

I’m gonna pull out one of the clips he used and highlight it:

And also, here’s Minnesota struggling to press: pic.twitter.com/82PJNn4AP3

— Harrison Hamm (@harrisonhamm21) May 15, 2018

Minnesota’s problem, from Day 1, is that they allow teams to build into spots between the lines, and allow teams to use that to create running lanes off the ball. Obviously they have other problems as well, but the biggest one is just that they’re easy to play against. They allow you to get into a rhythm and pull them apart.

SKC have become a “rhythm” team over the past year in large part because of how they use their fullbacks. Though both Graham Zusi and Jimmy Medranda will overlap if you give them space, both are more likely to stay a little bit deeper, basically on the same latitude as d-mid Ilie, and spray possession-oriented passes. Sporting thus have three deep-lying fulcrums to conduct the game, while other teams usually use only one.

Both those guys will actually pinch into central midfield as well, which leaves SKC vulnerable to wide counters – a big reason why they’ve struggled defensively at times this year. But they’re doing something different and, frankly, better than in years past. And it’s working.

Chicago Fire vs. Houston Dynamo

4 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

Which Fire team will show up this week? The one that plays a 3-5-2 with Bastian Schweinsteiger as a sweeper? The 4-3-3, possession-focused bunch we’ve seen from time to time? A sort of 4-5-1 team that man marks all over the field? Other?

Chicago’s got some pieces and have mostly held their season together by treating every game as if it’s the knockout round of a tournament and they’re the underdogs – i.e., they try to focus on taking away the opponent’s biggest strength. But sooner or later they’re going to have to start building a foundation of “here’s who we are and what we do well” and so far they haven’t. My guess is you will start to see frustration start to boil over for some of the veterans in coming weeks.

If Houston get a result here – and they’re entirely capable of that – the time for frustration would be now. 

Atlanta United vs. New York Red Bulls

7 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

Here’s Bobby’s take on how to beat Atlanta United, who are leading the Supporters’ Shield race. Read it.

Also read this:

Non-penalty goals + assists per 90 minutes leaders (min. 300 minutes). Some interesting names on here. pic.twitter.com/eDaIAxDK5X

— Ben Baer (@BenBaer89) May 15, 2018

It’s hard to overstate just how good RBNY’s attack has been. They’ve mostly been going against bottom-half-of-the-table foes, but the two good teams they’ve faced – Club Tijuana in the CCL and NYCFC two weeks back – they absolutely murderized.

Expect to see Miguel Almiron float out left a ton. The way to beat the Red Bulls is to hit the space vacated by their overlapping fullbacks and punish them for playing such front-foot soccer.

Monday’s Matinee

Montreal Impact vs. LA Galaxy

3 pm ET | Match Preview | TV & Streaming Info

Montreal have taken three of the last 21 points on offer and are on track to post the worst single-season defensive record in MLS history.

Judging by how much firepower each of these teams have, and how much each defense has struggled, this one could – maybe even should – end up being a 4-3 game.

One more thing to ponder…

Happy weekending, everybody.

Series: 

Topics: 

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MLSsoccer.com News

Armchair Analyst: Your complete guide to the Week 12 MLS slate was originally published on 365 Football

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Barzal, Panarin Each Hit 80 Points

Barzal, Panarin Each Hit 80 Points

Mathew Barzal scored two goals and added an assist, giving him 60 assists and 82 points on the season. Let’s step back and admire what a rookie season it has been for Barzal, who is the first rookie since Evgeni Malkin in 2006-07 to reach 80 points. The Calder Trophy is pretty much his at this point, as he is nearly 20 points clear of the next highest-scoring rookie (Clayton Keller). One burning question I have: Will he be the Islanders’ first line center next season? That question applies whether or not John Tavares is back on Long Island.

Barzal’s linemate Anthony Beauvillier scored a goal and added two assists on seven shots on goal, giving him 20 goals on the season. Beauvillier is riding a four-game goal streak, so he should be rolling in your fantasy lineup as the Islanders play out the string.

Nolan Patrick scored two goals and added an assist in the same game, which places him one point shy of 30 in his rookie season. These splits seem to foreshadow progression next season. Don’t forget to add the 2017 second overall pick to your sleeper list.

Oct-Jan: 41 GP, 11 PTS (0.27 PTS/GP)

Feb-Apr: 30 GP, 18 PTS (0.6 PTS/GP)

Over a full season, Patrick’s production over the past two months would amount to a 50-point pace.

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Did anyone have Taylor Hall booked for 90 points playing on the Devils? With two goals and two assists on Tuesday, Hall has now reached 93 points and is just one goal shy of 40. Hall is also third with 37 power-play points and ninth with 274 shots. Hall was barely drafted in the top 100 (ADP: 92.5 in Yahoo leagues), yet he won’t come nearly as cheap next season.

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Those hoping that Erik Karlsson would cash in because of the Sens’ four-game week will be disappointed that he will miss the final three games of the season. Understandable, though, given what he has been through. Have we seen the last of him in a Senators’ uniform? The offseason should certainly be interesting.

If you’re a Karlsson owner playing for a championship, Thomas Chabot is worth an add. He scored two goals and an assist on Monday and also has three games over the last four days of the fantasy season. Expect big minutes and power-play opportunity with Karlsson out. Chabot’s fantasy value will be helped big time if Karlsson is shipped out without an adequate return on defense.

Speaking of the Sens, Mark Stone is expected to be a game-time decision on Wednesday. Get ready to activate him in case he plays.

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With a goal and two assists on Tuesday, Artemi Panarin has four consecutive multipoint games with 11 points over that span. Projected by many to regress in Columbus, Panarin has actually improved with his first 80-point season. Panarin has been ripping it up during the fantasy playoffs with 28 points in just 17 games since the beginning of March. We can officially abandon the narrative that Panarin’s point totals were high because of Patrick Kane. He’s an exceptional player on his own.

With his goal on Tuesday, Pierre-Luc Dubois now has five goals over his last three games and seven points over his last four games. On Panarin’s line, Dubois has been a point-per-game player over that same hot stretch since early March.

The other player on that line is Cam Atkinson, who with two goals on Tuesday now has 10 goals and 15 points over his last 10 games. He was also a point-per-game player since early March after a disappointing first half. Between this red-hot top line and the solid goaltending of Sergei Bobrovsky, does anyone like the Blue Jackets as a potential Cinderella team out of the East? Something I’m starting to think about.

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You might think that Kyle Connor has at least partially been a product of his linemates. So it’s worth mentioning that he scored his 30th  goal of the season to go with two assists. His linemates for Tuesday? Try Jack Roslovic and Andrew Copp. The Jets rested Mark Scheifele and Blake Wheeler, among others, for this game. Somebody tell these coaches that we have fantasy titles to win and we need our big guns in the lineup!

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In stopping all 33 shots he faced against Atlantic rival Boston, Andrei Vasilevskiy won for the first time in four games and earned his first shutout in over two months. Surprisingly, he still leads the league in both categories. Vasilevskiy posted a goals-against average north of 4.00 in March (ouch!) so maybe it’s gotten to the point where you have benched him. It’s been that kind of rollercoaster ride for too many goalies this season.

Vasilevskiy and the Bolts earned the win in spite of being without Steven Stamkos, who is day-to-day with a lower-body injury.

Charlie McAvoy returned to the Bruins’ lineup after missing 15 games. He was held without a point and was a minus-2.

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Hat trick for Jamie Benn, who has now cracked the 30-goal mark. His goal and point totals over the past couple seasons suggest that he is a very good fantasy option, but not an elite one as it stands now.

Kari Lehtonen left Tuesday’s game against San Jose with an upper-body injury. With Ben Bishop also sidelined, Mike McKenna came on in relief and stopped all 17 shots he faced to earn a come-from-behind win for the Stars.

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With his 42-save win against Calgary, Antti Raanta has now won six consecutive starts and nine of his last ten. Since January 1 Raanta has a 1.83 GAA and .942 SV%. I understand the Coyotes’ and Raanta’s rough starts, but how could he still only be owned in slightly less than half of Yahoo leagues? This guy could be winning you a championship as your third goalie!

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Here’s the Predators’ buzzer beater that was disallowed due to “goaltender interference.” Don’t ask me for my opinion because I don’t know what goaltender interference is anymore. It seems that Viktor Arvidsson pushing his stick on Roberto Luongo was enough for the refs to make the call.

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Even Carrie Underwood is weighing in now…  

I am seriously livid. @NHL , fix this.

— Carrie Underwood (@carrieunderwood) April 4, 2018

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Some Anaheim injury news: Cam Fowler is expected to be sidelined for the next 2-6 weeks (I know, doesn’t really narrow it down) with a shoulder injury, while John Gibson is day-to-day with an upper-body injury.

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Remember Brandon Pirri? That Vegas magic dust rubbed off on him in his first game for the Vegas Golden Knights, as he scored two goals in a late game against the Canucks. Pirri was in the lineup because Erik Haula and Jonathan Marchessault were given the night off, a concept that seems to be growing in popularity in the NHL.

William Karlsson scored goal number 43 and added two more assists, giving him six 3-point games on the season. Much is made of the goal total, which no one predicted. But did you know that Wild Bill leads the NHL with a plus-46? I still say the goal total regresses next season with a likely shooting percentage decline (23 percent), but chemistry is chemistry and confidence is confidence. He’s found both in Vegas.

When Jussi Jokinen was sent to Vancouver in the Thomas Vanek trade, I assumed that he was just a throw-in that would mostly be healthy scratched over the remainder of the season. But injuries hit the forward ranks, and Jokinen has not only played, but thrived. With an assist on Tuesday, Jokinen now has seven points over his last five games. The way Jim Benning loves his veteran mentors, I now wouldn’t be surprised if Jokinen is brought back by the Canucks next season after playing for four teams this season. Especially with the Sedins retiring. Maybe Jokinens is even a late-season add if you’re in a deeper format.

Nikolay Goldobin posted the first two-goal game of his career on Tuesday, which gives him goals in back-to-back games and four points over his last three games. He shows flashes of brilliance, such as a goal I was in attendance for where he absolutely undressed Drew Doughty. Yet he disappears for long stretches, which should make him hard to trust in keeper leagues.

I’m sure you’ve heard or will hear about plenty of Sedin stories as they now play their final week. Here are two that stand out to me, both originating from their draft day in 1999:

The three trades that Brian Burke made to acquire both first-round picks needed (the Canucks already owned one pick). You may believe that Burke is an overrated GM/executive, but this was outstanding work and perhaps his finest moment as a GM. These trades ensured that the Sedins could spend their entire careers together. It’s fair to assume that they wouldn’t have had the individual success they had without each other.  

The 1999 draft class itself. Aside from the Sedins, this might be the weakest draft class ever. Ryan Miller and Henrik Zetterberg were superb later-round picks, but many of the names in the first round are unrecognizable today. This might serve as a cautionary tale of overvaluing draft picks relative to actual NHL players, although I am led to believe that scouting tools have improved in the information age.

Daniel recorded an assist, while Henrik was held without a point in their first game since they announced they would retire at the end of the season. I’ve got the Sunday Ramblings, so be prepared for at least a little bit of Sedin coverage as they play their final game on Saturday.

Classy move by the Golden Knights in sticking around to shake hands with the Sedins after the game.  

Congratulations on an incredible career! @canucks #ThankYouSedins pic.twitter.com/s4nu14fppP

— y – Vegas Golden Knights (@GoldenKnights) April 4, 2018

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For more fantasy hockey information, you can follow me on Twitter @Ian_Gooding.

  from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-barzal-panarin-each-hit-80-points/

[zeroviraluniverse-blog]

Eric Hosmer striking it rich in San Diego is so crazy it could work

Visit Now - http://zeroviral.com/eric-hosmer-striking-it-rich-in-san-diego-is-so-crazy-it-could-work/

Eric Hosmer striking it rich in San Diego is so crazy it could work

While most of America was either tucked away in bed or deep into Saturday night revelries, the tortoise pace of baseball’s lingering offseason quickened. The most divisive member of this year’s class of free agents finally found a home: Eric Hosmer is a member of the San Diego Padres.

According to reports, Hosmer’s deal runs for eight years with a total value of $144 million. Meanwhile, MLB.com reported that there is an opt-out clause after the fifth year, and Bleacher Report reported that the deal is front-loaded: The first five years are at $20 million per season (with a $5 million signing bonus); the last three are at $13 million annually.

Unsigned veterans such as Logan Morrison might be tempted to wait to sign after Opening Day, but it’s a gambit without guarantees — or recent success.

As spring training begins, we identify baseball’s elite — the teams with a chance to compete — and the teams that aren’t even trying to win this year. Where does your squad land?

From a former superstar at a crossroads to an ace on the mend, you won’t have to wait until Opening Day to see if these guys are ready to shine.

2 Related

The back end of that contract — the three years and $39 million — is a fascinating way to structure a deal that overall, frankly, isn’t going to register as “smart” by most analytically charged readings. But we’ll get to that.

The practice of front-loading deals is one that might become a trend, given the typical shape of free-agent deals — albeit without the opt-out. The opt-out protects the player in case of serious injury or a rapid decline in performance. It doesn’t do as much for the team. This structure does limit the back-end downside for the Padres, in theory, because of the lower salaries. The hope is that the surplus value created by the first five years of the deal will cover the club for the last three, less-costly campaigns. But it all comes down to properly valuing those first few seasons.

It’s a risk: If the next phase of Hosmer’s career is better than his first, then he’ll surely opt out when he can in five years. By then, the Padres will have already have paid out $105 million of the $144 million in potential value. If Hosmer ages in that way, which is unusual, the surplus value the Padres would have gotten at the end of the contract would be moot. But that’s not the way things tend to work out with these big free-agent deals, which is what makes this contract structure so interesting.

At first blush, this deal is tough to justify by metrics — but not impossible. According to FanGraphs.com, Hosmer has accumulated 9.9 WAR during his seven big league seasons, 4.1 of which came last season. In easily his best overall campaign, Hosmer overcame a slow start to hit .318/.385/.498 with a career-high 25 homers, 94 RBIs and 98 runs.

It’s important to understand the rough math to see why this contract is likely to be hotly debated in analytical circles, just as Hosmer’s free agency has been a hot-button issue for the past year. Hosmer is projected for around 2.8 WAR this season in most systems, with his forecast being the product of a reasonable degree of regression coming off a career season. If Hosmer plays out this contract to its completion, that would take him through his age-35 season.

Eric Hosmer’s deal with the Padres promises huge rewards, but will it trigger more signings? Jay Biggerstaff/USA Today Sports

Let’s give Hosmer three years at 2.8 WAR apiece, taking him through his age-30 season and his likely peak seasons. Then let’s take off a half-win for the remaining years of the deal, which is a standard rule of thumb when it comes to the aging curve — though Hosmer isn’t necessarily a standard anything, and players age in different ways. Anyway, that gives him these WAR totals for Years 4 through 8: 2.3, 1.8, 1.3, 0.8, 0.3. The total WAR he’d compile during the deal in this case would be 14.9. For the Padres to break even on this investment, the average cost of a win during the course of the contract would need to be around $9.7 million.

With that figure in mind, perhaps the best way to justify the terms of the deal is reflected in the work of Matt Swartz, writing for FanGraphs. The key point is that with revenues and payrolls rising across baseball, the cost of a win in the free-agent market has been on the rise. That trend may or may not be blunted or even reversed by this year’s slow market, but that remains to be seen.

If Swartz’s estimates prove to be close, then we can estimate that the above WAR forecast for Hosmer could yield up to something like $180 million of value, not only justifying the outlay but actually giving San Diego a nice buffer if market values stagnate. That said, Hosmer’s performance was below replacement in 2016, and there is literally no value created by that kind of performance. Plus, he’s joining a new team in a new park that is the toughest power-hitting venue for a lefty hitter in the National League.

We don’t always know how a player will translate to a new context, and if Hosmer turns out to be more 2016 than 2017 early in the contract, the deal will be an albatross. It could also be a problem if the costs of a win stagnate or decline. In any event, despite what many are likely to conclude about this contract, it is far from certain how this deal will look in hindsight. It really depends on how San Diego projected Hosmer internally, if that projection is close to right, and how close their estimated costs of a win are to reality. In other words, there is plenty of room for interpretation on a deal of this length, for those dollars and for that player.

Players and teams get in gear for Opening Day in Florida and Arizona. • Complete spring training coverage »

Something else to keep in mind about Hosmer is this: His WAR totals have possibly been deflated by a consistently average-to-worse defensive showing in the metrics. However, last season’s Gold Glove was his fourth. This is as Jeter-esque a divide between measured defensive value and perceived performance as you’ll find. Indeed, if you watch Hosmer play first base for any length of time, then go to the numbers, it’s hard to make sense of it. Teams don’t use the measurements we’re quoting here. They have their own systems, and if Hosmer’s glove carries more value than systems such as defensive runs saved seem to think, that changes his outlook considerably.

Also working in his favor is his athleticism — few first basemen in recent memory have been better on the basepaths than Hosmer. Generally speaking, the more athletic a player is, the better he ages. Finally, there is real reason to believe that Hosmer has untapped potential at the plate. His bloated ground ball rates have been the subject of a lot of hand-wringing, but the fact of the matter is that few players hit the ball as hard consistently as Hosmer. Given the right adjustments, it’s entirely possible that last year’s breakout was evidence of a powder keg about to go off.

Hosmer was one of the youngest free agents on the market, and the fact that he’s entering his age-28 season explains the length of the deal his agent, Scott Boras, was able to extract even from this locked-up market. And for all of this technical picking apart of the contract’s terms, those terms are tough to judge based on cold metrics analysis.

There could also be a considerable opportunity cost from the team’s perspective. This is money that the Padres might have been able to spend on a player with a more stable performance record — but the “might” qualifier in that statement is important. Hosmer was willing to come. There is no guarantee another marquee player would have. You could also state that the uncertainty expressed here is the very reason the Padres shouldn’t have taken the plunge. It would be a reasonable response.

Nevertheless, why San Diego?

For one, the Padres are a team on the move. Or at least it will be — just not in 2018. After plugging Hosmer into San Diego’s depth chart and moving incumbent first baseman Wil Myers to left field, the Padres’ 2018 win forecast jumps by a whopping 1.5 wins — all the way to 71.2. (This is a baseline number, before being run through a schedule simulator.) This signing isn’t so much about what Hosmer brings to the Padres this season, but the foundation he’ll provide for the seasons to come.

Who’s still on the market as teams hunt for help this winter? Insider: Law’s top free agents | Trade market

From the day he arrived in the big leagues, Hosmer was the heart of the Royals’ clubhouse, and that remained the case through Kansas City’s gradual rise to a World Series title in 2015. He set the tone in terms of playing smartly and aggressively, always willing to adjust his approach to the situation, a trait that marked those Royals teams. And he was there all through the rise of a team from bottom-feeder to champion. Still young, he can now be that person for another franchise, one still seeking its first World Series crown.

Are intangibles worth at least $105 million, or possibly $144 million? Of course not. But there are plenty of reasons to believe — call it hope — that this deal will work out for the Padres, as the likes of Luis Urias and Fernando Tatis Jr. and Cal Quantrill and MacKenzie Gore make their way to Petco Park over the next few years. They will join a clubhouse in which Hosmer sets the tone, and as a former champion, he’ll command the respect that such veterans always do in big league clubhouses. Maybe you don’t value that; the Royals clearly did, and the Padres clearly do.

As for the metrics, just remember this: The Padres, led by general manager A.J. Preller, believe in analytics. They aren’t ignorant of the various valuations floating about. In fact, just last month, San Diego hired FanGraphs writer Dave Cameron to work in its front office. If Cameron couldn’t talk Preller out of signing Hosmer, couldn’t it just be that teams work with better information than the rest of us have?

That last question might not be the right one. Sure, teams have better data. But teams also make mistakes in the free-agent market, and the Padres haven’t played in free agency at this level, well, ever. This is the largest contract in Padres history.

For several weeks now, Hosmer’s market has appeared to be just two teams: The Royals, who gained another high draft pick for their rebuild with Hosmer’s departure, and the Padres. Maybe this shouldn’t be that surprising. The market for first basemen just wasn’t robust this winter. Besides, the very things that make Hosmer so well thought of in the industry are perhaps more valuable to teams like the Royals and Padres than they would be to a more established, star-laden team.

In other words, the Padres and Hosmer are a better match than they appear to be at first glance. In a few years, we might well look at this late Saturday night splash as the moment San Diego began to turn the corner. Or, if the metrics hounds prove prescient, it might be the night the San Diego rebuild hit the skids before it really ever got started. The outcome may depend on soft factors we analysts tend to despise.

Either way, this is the most interest the national baseball media has taken in the Padres in years. Doesn’t that, in itself, speak volumes?

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Islanders Injuries; Timo Meier Breakout Potential; Oshie; Hartman – January 8

With bye weeks arriving, the NHL loaded up Sunday’s schedule with 10 games. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, be sure to check which teams are taking the week off and adjust lineups accordingly. Maxing out (or close to maxing out) games played is important, even more so when there are fewer games to pick from.

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Both Josh Bailey and Andrew Ladd missed the Islanders game on Sunday with injuries. We didn’t really get much of an update on either:

Weight on Bailey injury: “Wasn’t horrific news but certainly not good news.” Ladd not long term but out today.

— Arthur Staple (@StapeNewsday) January 7, 2018

I guess it’s good news that Ladd shouldn’t be out long, though there isn’t much for clarity on Bailey. As soon as we learn anything we will pass it on but with the team off until Saturday, it’s doubtful we get much from the team until then.

For Sunday’s game, Ladd was replaced by Anthony Beauvillier and Alan Quine took Bailey’s spot on the top line. Jordan Eberle took Bailey’s spot on the top PP unit.

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Sebastian Aho (Islanders defenceman) got his first two career points on Sunday including his first career goal. He was also paired with Nick Leddy at five-on-five for the entire game and even got some power-play minutes on the second unit. He didn’t crack the 20-minute mark but it’s worth tracking his usage once the Islanders come off the bye. They need all the defensive help they can get and with the team fighting for a playoff spot, maybe they rely on Aho more than they had anticipated initially.

He was sent down to the AHL but it’s due to the bye week. I suspect he’ll be back up when the team returns to action this weekend.

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Quick update on the other Sebastian Aho:

Canes GM Ron Francis says Aho is day-to-day with lower body injury.

— Chip Alexander (@ice_chip) January 7, 2018

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As far as rookies go, I don’t think too much was expected of Nolan Patrick. Unlike Nico Hischier, who was given (you could say earned) the top-line role once Adam Henrique was traded, or Clayton Keller, who is probably the best offensive player Arizona has, or Brock Boeser, whose shooting was lauded by some, Patrick seemed destined to not be featured on this particular roster in this particular season. Maybe he could slot in as the second-line centre, but that wasn’t a given.

All that said, it’s hard not to be disappointed with his season. Going into Sunday afternoon’s game, he had just eight points on the year and at times had been a healthy scratch. His shot rate isn’t very good though that should improve over the years. He’s also last among the team’s forwards in adjusted shot share by a pretty wide margin. Again, that’s not too surprising for a rookie, but you’d think with sheltered competition and favourable zone starts that he’d be a little better in this regard. He hasn’t been.

We know that not all young players develop in a straight line. Some guys like Keller come out guns blazing. Some guys like Victor Hedman can take a few years to really hit their stride. There hasn’t been too much good to come out of Patrick’s rookie season, though. I want to ask his dynasty owners: is there any sort of panic setting in, and for those who don’t own him, are you trying to trade for him?

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While on the subject of Flyers centres, Sean Couturier scored goals 22 and 23 of the season for him in the team’s 4-1 win against Buffalo. He’s on pace for more goals this year (45) than his previous career-high in points (39).

It has been a remarkable offensive season from Couturier, but please exercise some caution. He’s now shooting an even 18 percent on the year. His previous career-high was 11.7 percent, and was a career 9.4 percent shooter coming into 2017-18. Yes, he’s shooting nearly double what his career rate was. I am not saying that with better line mates and more ice time (he’s well over 21 minutes a game) that he can’t be a good offensive player. I am definitely saying that I wouldn’t rely on him to push, or break, the 40-goal barrier on a regular basis.

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Don’t forget the Dobber Hockey Mid-Season Guide will be out later this week! Grab the information you need for the home stretch in your fantasy hockey leagues. Just follow this link here.

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Andre Burakovsky was back in the lineup for the Caps after being scratched for a couple games. He was slotted on the fourth line with Jay Beagle and Alex Chiasson where he stayed for the game, playing under 11 minutes.

The Caps have three games this week and then their bye week comes. Maybe Burakovsky can work his way up the lineup, but if it takes him a couple games to do so, he won’t have much use on redraft fantasy hockey rosters for the next couple weeks. I wouldn’t be running to the waiver wire to add him unless you don’t really need production from a roster spot for a few weeks.

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Now that Timo Meier is seemingly sticking around the top line for San Jose, it’s probably time to start taking his value in redraft leagues seriously. Over his past 20 games, before Sunday afternoon’s tilt – which haven’t all been on the top line, mind you – he’s managed 51 shots and is playing about 15:30 per game.

The following chart from Hockeyviz.com should be taken with a little grain of salt. He’s played nearly one-third of his ice time with Joe Thornton and that’s going to skew things a little. All the same, it’s pretty crazy how good this team has been offensively from dangerous areas with Meier on the ice (red is good):

Since being a top-10 pick a few years ago, Sharks fans have been waiting for Meier to be part of the next generation of top-end scorers the team needs. It looks like it’s finally starting to happen. If you were going to try and buy him in deep keepers, or dynasties, then time is running out. It seems a matter of time before a full-blown breakout hits (even without top PP minutes).

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Jack Roslovic suited up for his second career game, first this season, in Sunday’s game against San Jose. He was on the fourth line with Marko Dano and Matt Hendricks.

It’s nice to see Roslovic get in the lineup, and he did take Adam Lowry’s spot on the top PP unit as well, but it’ll be hard to have a lot of value playing in the bottom-six with the minutes he got (under eight). We’ll see if his role changes this week but like Burakovsky, the Jets have three games and then hit their bye, so I wouldn’t pull a hamstring running to the waiver wire to grab him in one-year leagues.

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St. Louis was in Washington on Sunday afternoon and Brayden Schenn was split away from Vladimir Tarasenko. We’ve seen this happen in sporadic spurts this year, but this seemed inevitable. The team hadn’t scored more than three goals in any one contest for 13 straight games.

This kind of sucks for Schenn, but keep in mind that Tarasenko can produced with just about anyone; he scored 40 goals in 2015-16 playing about half his minutes with Jori Lehtera. I wouldn’t be too concerned about Tarasenko’s production outside of the concerns we already had (namely shooting percentage). In fact, both he and Schenn scored in the team’s overtime loss.

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Florida may have lost in the shootout, but we got this goal from Sasha Barkov, so maybe it was worth it?

Barkov shootout goal: pic.twitter.com/FP5ySXif69

— Cats On The Prowl (@Cats0ntheprowl) January 8, 2018

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TJ Oshie was taken off the top line for the Caps early in the second period in their game against St. Louis and replaced by Devante Smith-Pelly. Oshie was moved to the third line with Lars Eller and Brett Connolly.

It has been a rough year for Oshie production-wise. His 82-game pace for goals this year is 26, which isn’t bad out-and-out bad, but there are red flags. His shots per game is down to 1.86, the lowest for him since his rookie year, and that’s despite playing slightly more per game (18:47) than his career average (18:37). It’s not that his shots aren’t just finding the net, either: his 8.99 shot attempts per 60 minutes at five-on-five (before Sunday’s game) is by far the lowest of his career (10.75 last year and 10.78 in 2013-14). In fact, of out 247 forwards with at least 400 minutes played, he’s 232nd in shot rate. He was never a volume shooter, but he was 169th out of 234 forwards last year. Not great, but a lot better than 2017-18. The names at the bottom of the list with Oshie this campaign are basically passers and grinders. Oshie is neither, so this is a problem.

There have been talks of injuries and he did suffer a concussion last month. Maybe there’s something wrong that we don’t know about. All I know is that playing nearly 19 minutes a game, shooting nearly 17 percent, and having an 82-game pace of 26 goals as a goal scorer isn’t great. Shooting percentage regression was inevitable, but his shot rate is becoming a real problem.  

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Ryan Hartman remained on the second line in Chicago’s 4-1 win against Edmonton while also sticking on the top PP unit. He had an assist, three shots on goal, and played a whopping 20:58. His previous single-game high for minutes this year was 18:36 on New Year’s Eve.

He's not shooting as much as he has in prior seasons, but he’s still at a very healthy 15.85 attempts per 60 minutes at five-on-five, in the same neighbourhood has guys like Auston Matthews, Nikita Kucherov, Tyler Seguin, and Mike Hoffman. Remember, he scored 19 goals in 76 games last year playing fewer than 13 minutes a game. If he can play anywhere from 17-18 minutes a game, in the role he’s being given, there is very good offensive upside here. With a top-six spot and top power-play minutes, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be rostered in 12-team leagues by now, especially now that we’re hitting bye weeks.

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There was a scary situation in the Tampa Bay game as Lightning defenceman Dan Girardi went down to a knee to block a one-timer and took it straight off the back of his head:

A better look at Girardi trying to block a Frk shot pic.twitter.com/uvZoay8vve

— Prashanth Iyer (@iyer_prashanth) January 8, 2018

He was down for a few minutes but skated off the ice under his own power. He did not return to the game but the Lightning indicated that he would be ok. Let’s hope it’s nothing serious.

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Boone Jenner had seven shots on goal in Columbus’s 3-2 shootout win over Florida, but failed to hit the scoresheet. He’s now shooting 4.4 percent on the season.

Jenner was a career 11.3 percent shooter before this season so there is clearly a lot of bad luck going on here. He’s still usually getting 18 minutes of ice time so John Tortorella still trusts him. He’s very valuable in multi-cat leagues and he should be able to turn around that shooting percentage in the second half.

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Pavel Buchnevich was a healthy scratch for the Rangers in their game against the Golden Knights. I don’t know how to explain this, honestly, and can’t properly express myself without a string of expletives so I’ll just let it go for now.

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Hey, Karl Alzner had a multi-point game! He scored his first of the year against Vancouver and assisted on Brendan Gallagher’s game-winner in the third. It was Alzner’s first multi-point game in which he scored since March of 2015. His contract is an utter disaster but this was a nice game for him. So, silver linings and all.

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Boston’s top line is seriously rolling right now. David Pastrnak and Brad Marchand both scored for Boston in their 6-5 overtime loss to the Penguins on Sunday night, each their 17th goal of the season. I guess they were tired of being tired with Patrice Bergeron at 16 goals. The three of them have 10 goals combined over the last four games.

A couple games ago they were on the ice for their first goal against at five-on-five this year but it’s incredible how good they are.

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Sidney Crosby had three assists in that win, bringing his season up to 15 goals and 43 points in 44 games. It wasn’t long ago – literally like four days – that people were still freaking out about his season. There’s still half a season left and a lot of regression to go. Buckle up. 

from All About Sports http://www.dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-islanders-injuries-timo-meier-breakout-potential-oshie-hartman-january-8/