#maybe someone else will be more willing to play in this space with you Anon

[sokkigarden]

hi! would you ever do, like, a NSFW alphabet prompt for jamie?

this took me so long but it was basically like 26 prompts all at once LOL but anon whoever you are… ily. this was actually so fun to do🥴 i used a prompt i remember seeing a while ago— i liked it better than the more common list! xx

nsfw alphabet — jamie tartt

A = aroused (how he acts when he’s in the mood)

jamie is not a subtle guy but likes to think he is. to everyone else in the room he’s just being really touchy and affectionate with you, but as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind, you KNOW it’s more than meets the eye. the bulge in his pants says otherwise. he’d try to play it off and be casual but he keeps saying slightly suggestive things while you try to have conversations with others. when you’re finally alone, he might get a little whiny or do little things to get your attention. slowly unbuttoning his shirt. fiddling with the necklace you’re wearing. run his fingers along the inside of your thigh. yeah

B = body (favorite body part of their partner)

your thighs. he loves how soft they are and he can’t stop touching them. he loves going down on you and will press feathery kisses along them before he gets to the main event. he also loves when you guys cuddle or you sit in his lap. despite him being a footballer with model girlfriends stereotype, i think he would be interested in anyone, and finds the little quirks that maybe you’re insecure about to be his favorite things. anything that makes you you he adores.

C = climax (what he’s like when he orgasms)

he’s loud. when you first initiate sex he’s kinda quiet but as soon as he’s close, he’s vocal. some dirty talk, some grunts and groans. sex is a transaction for him, he’s focused on both of you receiving pleasure but once he’s about to cum he spaces out a little bit and enjoys the moment.

D = dominance (is he dominant, submissive or a switch)

switch for REAL. this man could absolutely dominate and bring his prick side into bed or he could be the most babygirl of them all. it depends on his energy levels and the mood at the time. overall, he’d be a bit of a teaser and playful (a brat perhaps?) but he also knows when to get serious and focus.

E = experience (how experienced is he in the bedroom)

he’s a footballer, he DEF knows what he’s doing lol. he’s got a few things that he KNOWS he’s good at, so his confidence is through the roof. especially with new people he might stick to what he knows, but that being said, he’s definitely the type of person who would be willing to try anything at least once, especially with a more committed partner that he trusts.

F = fortitude (does he have a lot of stamina and energy)

homeboy isn’t working out JUST to be the best on the field. his stamina is insane and he has the energy for multiple rounds if desired. but instead of focusing on going a few times, he focuses on making each round last a long time. lots of foreplay and oral sex before any penetration actually occurs. he also might surprise you by being kinda flexible

G = gratification (what really gets him off)

getting his partner off is what really get him off. he craves validation so knowing that you are receiving pleasure is going to get him going and now he’s extra turned on. it’s a transaction to him, he believes if you are going to get him off he should put in the work to get you off as well.

H = habitat (preferred place to get busy)

he’s down for the classic bedroom environment but i also see him as being someone who wants to check off every room in the house. kitchen counter, living room couch, the shower, just inside the front door. he wouldn’t mention this little goal of his but he’s secretly keeping tabs. he’s playful and confident enough to be down for semi-public sex, and if y’all get caught, he’ll play it off and joke about it to relieve any embarrassment.

I = intimacy (how emotional is he when it comes to sex)

jamie’s definitely had his fair share of one night stands and flings but once there’s a more emotional connection, the sex gets so much better. especially after his 3 season character arc, he wants to have that connection and explore things sexually with someone who he’s got an emotional attachment to. knowing he’ll wake up next to you in the morning (and maybe fuck you again) makes the night so much more gratifying.

J = joke (how much does he play around)

this man is the cockiest prick ever when he wants to be. it’s all in good fun but he loves teasing you, especially when you get a lil horny and needy for him. “you want me bad, huh?” he might make you beg for it, flexing his arms and slowly removing some layers of clothing, letting you watch but not touch. he relishes in the attention

K = kink (toys or kinks)

this guy didn’t pull roy on a bike by a LEASH for nothing. or pant like a dog for keeley. ARE WE JOKING. while he’d be down for vanilla sex and never say no to some chill missionary, he would eat up trying new freaky shit. he probably has a pair of fluffy handcuffs in his sock drawer and when you ask about using them, he offers up his wrists instead of yours.

L = lust (how often does he want it)

homeboy is BUSY with training but still makes time to have sex with you. with how active he is, his sex drive is pretty high. after matches, he’s still pent up with adrenaline which leads to a fun night once you get home. he’ll take you against the front door as soon as you arrive or even in the car before you ride home. he might be late to training tomorrow morning but it’s worth it.

M = masturbation (mutual and solo)

if you aren’t there, he’s having a wank before bed for sure. if either of you walk in on the other masturbating, you might join in and talk each other through it. despite not touching each other it’s still an intimate experience. he likes knowing you got off from just him talking you through it without even touching you.

N = never (what he will not do)

i cannot see him being into being called “daddy” um😭 while he might enjoy the dynamic of being more dominant, the word just takes him out of the moment lmao

O = oral (giving and receiving)

why is oral with jamie tartt sound so mouthwatering… he would be the type of LOVE going down on you. he loves pinning you down and knowing he can make you fall apart with just his mouth. and he’d love a blowjob in return. he would absolutely melt watching you and giving you praise and encouragement. he might try to be gentle at first but as soon as he’s close he’s fucking into your mouth with abandon. 69 is also on the table, especially when you both have enough time to really make it last.

P = position (favorite position)

can’t stop thinking of straddling his thighs while you fuck on the couch… i don’t think he necessarily has a favorite position but he likes facing you and watching your reactions to what he’s doing.

Q = quickie (what is a quickie like with him)

a quickie in the boot room you mean? LOL while he likes to take his time and really stretch out the amount of pleasure you both get, sometimes he gets home late and just wants a quick fuck before he has to sleep so he can get up early for training. it might include some fingering, making out, and making sure you’re wet enough to take him, but then it’s fast and a lil rough. he’ll clean you up before passing out.

R = roleplay (favorite routines and tropes)

Jamie would def fully commit to the bit. It would start out maybe as a joke or just a little teasing but when all is said and done, he would look back and be like ok that was kinda hot. Sorta like in s1 when he’s panting like a dog when keeley said “down boy, find the treat yeah?” he definitely ate that up (metaphorically and literally haha). He’s been working hard his whole life so he definitely wants to be made to work for it in this context too. adding little scenarios or role plays just adds to the fun sometimes.

S = seduction (how he gets you in the mood)

this man is relentless. if he’s trying to initiate, he’ll start making a few jokes or innuendos, and he’ll also get really touchy, always keeping you close. he’ll pepper kisses across your face and neck, try to distract you from what you’re focusing on. if you’re watching tv and a sex scene comes on, he’ll talk over it, “i could do better than that” “i could do this and this to you instead.” you’ll end up on your back on the couch before the scene is even over. he loves little gestures that he thinks are subtle but they really are glaringly obvious.

T = teasing (what is the best way to arouse him)

so many things get this man going. just being around you is enough, but when you wear something cute, or sway your hips a lil too much while making dinner, he can’t help but want to skip the meal altogether. he especially likes when you pay extra attention to little things, like fiddling with his earring that he wears sometimes or fixing his hair. you being horny for him arouses him more than anything, he likes to feel wanted and needed.

U = underwear (lingerie and costumes)

the first time you wear his jersey, he takes you home asap and fucks you with it on. you ride him as he grips your waist underneath the shirt. he might even take you from the back so he can see you branded with his last name and number. he didn’t expect to be kinda possessive but he’s obsessed with seeing you in his clothes in general, from hoodies to sweatpants to his boxer briefs. it’s even better when you wear some cute underwear underneath it.

V = verdict (what do you think of your sex life with him)

the sex is great on its own but it’s just one piece to a bigger picture. having an emotional connection and trust allows you both to explore sexually while also understanding that sex isn’t the primary focus of the relationship. some nights you both go to sleep without initiating anything while other nights you’re so wrapped up in each other that it’s a fuck marathon til dawn. things are routine but with enough lil change ups that you never get bored of each other.

W = words (how vocal is he and dirty talk)

this man is ALL about praise and talking during sex. sometimes he dips into dirty talk but it’s never anything extremely degrading unless you both decide to try it out. he’s mostly babbling by the end but he’s mumbling and moaning throughout, giving you encouragements and making sure you know how much he likes it, even if he can’t finish his sentences.

X = x-rated (how does he feel about porn or sextapes)

he’d never say no to a sextape but from previous experiences, he’s kinda cautious. gotta keep that shit locked down, maybe even going so far as to use a more “vintage” style of recording to prevent it from ever leaking. he’d show up with an old camcorder and be pretty proud of himself for tracking it down for you guys to use.

Y = yawn (what is he like after sex)

especially with how much he’s been training lately, jamie passes out pretty quickly after sex. he might grab some tissues or a washcloth and clean you both up but his reactions are a lil delayed bc homeboy just wants to sleep. after sex he prefers falling asleep with an arm draped across your waist.

Z = zodiac (what his sign says about him in bed)

according to the internet, oct 20 is jamie’s birthday which makes him a libra! as a libra, he craves a lot of touch and appreciates a sense of equality in bed. he likes his sex life to be a little unpredictable, leading him to behave differently each time. sometimes he will be a bit more passive and gentle and other times he might be rough and a bit more dominating. his charm continues while in bed, using his words to seduce and make the experience more enjoyable.

[eldragon-x]

If you want, can you explain your most liked and/or most disliked episode, but to someone who haven't watched the show?

Anon I just rewatched one of my least favourite episodes in the show for you because honest to God on my last rewatch this was the one episode where I let it play while doing something else and paying zero attention.

Anyway, Roadside Attraction is a mess.

Honestly the episode itself would be fine as a Season 1 or maybe even early Season 2 episode (which seems to be the intended placement) but it's just a whatever episode that ended up having very unfortunate placement being the fifth-to-last episode in the series and between two much more plot-relevant and compelling episodes.

So the plot is basically that Stan goes on a roadtrip with the twins + Soos + Mabel's besties because he wants to ruin the tourist traps of his rivals but that's just the backdrop.

The actual conflict comes with Dipper still not being over his crush on Wendy which was a conflict that was resolved in God damn season two epsiode two in an episode that was actually Fun and Interesting and Utilized Wendy as a character.

Anyway in RA Stan is like oh how about you talk to some girls during the trip so you can get over wendy. also you have to be a jerk and feign confidence to impress them. and then one of mabels besties gets a crush on dipper and it all falls apart because they spend time together but then the other girls he met on the trip also show up yadda yadda the lesson for both stan and dipper is to not be jerks but also that dipper should try to be more confident and use that for good which is never brought up again. it's just not compelling enough to justify being at this point in the show, its obvious that it just got placed there because it needed to, and the only supernatural or mystery element in this episode is a creepy spider lady which is cool Ig but eh.

And now Get This: There's Journal 3, which provides a ton of extra-canonical material by filling out blanks, adding context, ect and it's great, it's really good, I recommend it to anyone who's a fan of the show, I'll link you a transcript right here if you can't/don't care to buy the physical book.

That being said, J3 is willing to contradict show canon which is fine, I can live with it, but APPARENTLY Roadside Attaction absolutely has to be chronologically correct because in the previous episode the Pines family set up a barrier around the Mystery Shack that would protect the building from the influence of Bill. Y'know, the evil space demon that Ford especially is wary of because he literally manipulated him and betrayed his trust to get him to build a world ending machine.

So yeah, J3 then goes on to canonize that Ford was like "Hey Stan now that we made sure the Shack's save from the Evil Space Demon why don't you and the kids take a trip to get As Far Away From The Shack As Possible." HUH??????

literally half of this post is about that little tiny bit in j3 now but whatever it's so so stupid. why did we need to acknowledge and canonize that roadside attraction takes place at this point in the show and that Stanford "Bill cannot be trusted and would trick and possess anyone to get what he wants and I know this from personal first-hand experience" Pines suggested the road trip

[bonesandthebees]

1. My favorite fic of yours

I LOVED clinic, tied for second are 17 hours and the stars and their children!

3. The best character you've written for

it's been said before but Wilbur is your brand! also I love the way you write Techno

6. Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics

your "quick easy breakfast" thing from the authors notes of clinic KEKW - i now have rice with egg and soy sauce regularly (which actually helps me remember to eat - undiagnosed ADHD pog?)

8. What I like the most about your writing

I love the specific voice you use, and your choice of adjectives and grammar! A lot of fics are really good but the authors don't quite have the same linguistic skill you do!

9. A fic i'm excited for you updating/posting

I'm super excited for the rest of stars! I love the political tension and the fact that this is a very new concept (space royalty pog)

11. Something I wish/hope you write

I don't know how much expertise you have in this area or if you're willing to research it but I would love a ballet au, or other dance au! I feel like there's a lot of potential in a modern setting dance studio au, whether it's just the setting for the plot or the plot is centered around dance itself :3

12. A fic of yours that i've re-read

I've read clinic like three times! I love it so much :DDD

13. If i've ever shared/talked about your fic to someone else

OH BOY HAVE I EVER! Every fic I read that I particularly love I talk about to my sibling (the one who finally caved and read 17 hours kekw) and i'll ramble for ages but never do it justice because it's my dodgy memory versus your amazing writing :)

:>

hi crow anon!!!

wow I'm surprised how many people say 17 hours is their favorite fic of mine. I loved it of course because of how cool the concept was and how wonderfully mine and roxy's writing played off of each other, but still never expected so many people to think of it as a favorite so that makes me so happy to hear!!

omg a compliment on how I write techno... tysm I literally am always so unsure in my characterization of c!techno that's why he's my least favorite to write bc I'm just always so worried if I'm doing him justice or not

LMAOOO totally forgot about that time I talked about breakfast in the notes of clinic. tbh I should start making goofy authors notes like that again. also I haven't actually eaten eggs with rice and soy sauce for breakfast in a LONG time. lately my breakfast has been lighter stuff like fruits and cheese, but I kinda miss the rice and eggs so might get back into it (also ADHD pog!!)

that means so much aaa I've worked very hard over the years to develop a specific voice in my writing so I'm really glad it shines through. I know my writing isn't super flowery which is a personal preference of mine, but I'm happy it's distinctive all the same. it takes a lot of years to develop a rhythm with the words and grammar you use when writing, so it just makes me happy to hear someone notices it :)

hehe i'm so excited to update stars. gonna finish the next chapter tomorrow hopefully so maybe it'll be out on monday??

fun fact i literally watch vlogs from ballerinas on youtube all the time (have one open in another tab rn) and I've watched a lot of documentaries on ballet dancing as well (also, I took ballet as a kid but only when I was little and not for very long). I LOVE learning about ballet, but I've always been unsure about making a ballet au solely bc I obviously write crimeboys, but the part of ballet i'm most interested in is dancing en pointe, and men don't usually dance en pointe. I'm still considering researching more into the men's side of ballet, but there's just such a limited number of women on the dsmp that it would be a bit tricky for sure

god rereading clinic 3 times?? that's so long I have so much respect

awww it makes me smile to hear that people talk about my fics to each other :D

ty for this crow anon!!!

ask game!

[adamarks]

I haven't seen anyone in the fandom talking about it but I'm pretty amused that Agatha found a girl who is like Simon (a bit socially awkward, sturdy build, strong sense of duty, first instinct appears to be FIGHT ME) just like Simon ended up with someone kind of like Agatha. I know the prevailing conversation is compulsive heterosexuality, which yeah of course, but I think it's more entertaining that they weren't entirely wrong about what they liked.

Hey sorry if this comes off rude, but I wholly disagree with what you’re saying. If not just from a personal opinion, but a literary view.

Starting off, I literally wrote this meta on why Agatha is a Simon mirror. Which means that she is there to reveal things about Simon to the reader. So from this standpoint alone, her falling for another Simon mirror doesn’t make sense. The point is that she’d fall for a BAZ mirror and continue to reveal things about Simon and snowbaz through that relationship. That’s just baseline literary analysis.

Secondly, I’d like to debate your description of Niamh. “A bit socially awkward.” Perhaps, but A! Simon is described as being much more personable in everyday settings. Baz is a diplomat but Simon is a lad. And B! Agatha is way way more socially awkward and antisocial than Niamh. Who’s the one with absolutely no friends at Watford? Who hated parties at college? And who wanted to become a vet because she hated people.

“Is that why you became a veterinarian? Because you like animals better than people?” That’s why I want to become a veterinarian.”

“No,” she says.

[…]

“Fine.” She’s fed up. “Why did you want to become a veterinarian, Agatha?”

“Because I like animals more than people! Like a normal person!”

“I also like animals more than people!” she says. “That just wasn’t the deciding factor!”

-Chapter 62

Literally if anything this just proves they’re both assholes honest to god.

Ok next descriptor:

Sturdy build.

Ok she’s gotta sturdy build but let’s just take this apart.

In this book especially we learn that simon never got to a comfortable weight. He keeps calling himself fat but everyone else is just like “yeah you can’t see his ribs anymore.” Even AGATHA goes oh look he doesn’t look a starving child how nice. We’re not getting true sturdy build plow you over Simon until after the events of CO. Rainbow herself has said that CO Simon is a twig.

As for Niamh’s physique, a major part of Agatha being like Oh A Woman, was her remembering her from lacrosse. She was a great player. Very aggressive. One… could…. Say……… ruthless.

You know who else is “ruthless on the field”?

Lastly for this section, I DONT think that Niamh’s instinct is FIGHT ME with anyone except for Agatha. At worst she just comes across as tactless and mildly autistic-coded. It’s literally only Agatha that she goes WHATS UP YOU STUPID BITCH YOU SUCK!!!

And before I get into my last point, Agatha literally did Simon’s thing of not knowing she was attracted to Niamh until the moment they kissed in the woods during a life or death situation. It was a very obvious parallel to chapter 61. (But softer. Bc the point of this book is learning to be softer and vulnerable.)

Ok also one more thing: Agatha isn’t really like Baz except rich and dress fancy. But maybe that’s just me

Finally, and I hope I don’t come off too rudely, this ask just puts a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. It’s not fair to compare “what you liked” when you thought you were straight to what you want in a partner when you figure out you’re queer. Agatha’s whole story is not wanting to be defined by her relationship with Simon, and yet you’re doing that right now. One of Simon’s main trope flips is that he was never actually attracted to the fair maiden. He never had any feelings. If we put compulsive heterosexuality aside like you said, then they are basically siblings. Simon is pretty much Agatha’s foster brother.

I can tell you didn’t mean this in a bad way anon, and maybe you yourself are a lesbian, but from my own lesbian perspective, I know very very few lesbians that wouldn’t be at least uncomfortable with someone saying this about their possible past entanglements with men. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything or trying to be rude. I just feel uncomfortable at best with this take. Let’s not compare the butch lesbian to a man. That’s all I’m saying.

[clairecrive]

hi!!! can I ask for darkling smut after he and the reader get in an argument? like it starts out angry but by the end they're super passionate and cuddly? thank you and congrats on so many followers!!

A/n: you ask and you shall receive, hun! I love writing this so so much. I hope you'll like to read it too. Thanks for requesting and for your words xx This is also for this anon.

Warnings: angst, smut, fluff at the end

Word count: 2.9 K

Tags: @blackst0nes7077, @thefictionalgemini, @louweasleymalfoy @jupiterandbutterflies , @for-bebbanburg, @tarkanelima-blog, genre), @pansysgirlfriend, @acciorudolphx, @kaqua , @hannaxmaria, @vintagebitc, @deardiarystuff (if you want you can add yourself to my taglist by filling this form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

“You will not believe what-” y/n had the habit of not knocking before entering his room. The general had been more than annoyed with her initially, but she insisted that it was a way for him to distinguish her from everyone else.

Hear the door open? You don’t have to guess who it is, you’ll know it’s me, she used to tell him.

Now, however, she was wishing she didn’t have that habit in the first place. Stumbling into a room, your partner’s room, to find him standing way too close to another girl, wasn’t on her list for tonight. Maybe a warning would have been nice but at the same time, if she had knocked she wouldn’t have found them this way.

Her initial enthusiasm at the prospect of sharing this gossip with him had suddenly vanished. The smile on her face turned into a frown as Alina cleared her voice and took a step away from the general for decency’s sakes. Too late, y/n wanted to tell her.

It was painfully clear what she had interrupted. She willed her face to set into an emotionless expression but she couldn’t help a glance in Aleksander direction. Arms behind him, he looked nothing but proper and collected. But y/n knew him, probably better than anyone else in this world, and had learnt how to read his body. His jaw was clenched which meant that he wasn’t as calm as he wanted to appear.

Good, y/n thought, let him drown in guilt and misery.

Clearing her voice, she realized she had been standing there without saying anything for too long.

“I’m so sorry, General, I didn’t know you were busy. I should have knocked,” she excused herself without looking at them. “I’ll leave you to it.” With a slight nod, she added before hightailing out of the room.

She could feel Alina’s questioning gaze on her back as she closed the door behind her. There were already rumours going around about her supposed relationship with the General. No one knew for certain, neither y/n nor Kirigan had ever bothered confirming or denying them. Now though, she knew that words of this little encounter would spread, further cementing the already existing gossip.

Oh well, she thought as she walked to her room, by the looks of it there wasn’t going to be a relationship to gossip about anymore.

Her bedroom had lost every sense of familiarity and comfort a private space like this should have. She hardly ever slept in it anymore. Not since she and the general had become a thing. She only went there to change and so slipping into the bed felt weird and anonymous. As if she was in someone else’s bed and not hers.

Her sleep was doomed to be restless, she knew. However, tomorrow’s busy schedule prompted her to at least try and get some sleep. Even if it only was a couple of hours. Shuffling to change position she tried to keep Aleksander out of her mind.

An unachievable task, she was aware but she tried nonetheless. Things between them had been tense ever since he had come back to the Little Palace with her. y/n knew of his plans. She knew why he needed to do certain things and how Alina was involved. That didn’t mean she was fine with it though.

Not only did it bother her the fact that he was stripping the girl of her will and powers eventually but it also bothered her that he had chosen to get to her by manipulating her feelings. They had had countless fights because of this but nothing ever came out of it. A centuries-long existence meant that he was stubborn beyond belief and there was no way of making him change his mind once it was set on something.

After what she had witnessed today though, y/n wondered if the jokes were on him and he did end up feeling something genuine for Alina. Y/n herself had met her and spoke with her a couple of times and she had to admit begrudgingly that she wasn’t that bad.

Lost in her thoughts, y/n was snapped out of it by a loud knock at her door. As soon as she started to wonder who could be bothering her at this hour, the door opened and she stopped guessing.

Of course, it was him.

“I’m in no mood to talk to you, Aleksander. Please go.” She spoke, not bothering to turn towards where she knew he was standing. Y/n knew that while she couldn’t see him in the dark this wasn’t true for him. Shadows didn’t hinder his view like they did everyone else, they were an extension of him.

He didn’t speak but she also didn’t hear him walking away. She let out a sigh and that was the only way she was willing to acknowledge him. He wanted to stand in the shadow and stare like a creep? Fine, two could play this game.

Set on ignoring him, she stubbornly stared ahead of her. She was very aware of his eyes on her, stinging like needles. If sleep was arduous to achieve before now it was impossible. In any case, she closed her eyes and pretended to be at least. He wouldn’t know the difference and would leave her alone at some point.

But of course, she knew him well enough by now and he wasn’t as easily deterred. She didn’t know how much time passed but her eyes flew open as she felt her bed dip. Her breath hitched and she laid on full alert.

Then she felt the shadow of his touch on her neck and knew that he was close. Way too close that he should be. He was probably propped on his arm as she felt her pillow dip too.

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” He whispered close to her ears, his lips suggestively tracing her earlobe.

Despite the chills that his touch would usually send to her body, y/n stifled a treacherous gasp. Instead, her body stiffened and she almost pushed him away but she wasn’t sure that touching him wouldn’t backfire.

“If you think I’d let you lay a finger on me after you touched her, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Who says I did?”

“Please, stick to manipulating one girl, okay? Move. away.”

He didn’t reply but the hand that was on her neck moved to her shoulder and pushed back so that she was laying on her back and facing him. Well, the darkness was too thick for her to actually see his face but she could feel his breath.

“Do not push me away.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Y/n bite back.

“You’re well aware of my plans, don’t act so betrayed now.”

“Well, maybe I’m tired of being a pawn in your schemes.”

“A pawn isn’t aware of its role nor of the whole plan.”

“Being smart with me won’t help, Aleksander. You want Alina? Fine, go get her. But leave me out of this.” Pulling her face free of his grip, she turned on her side. The shadows around him had dissipated a bit, allowing you to glimpse at his face.

“You cannot do this, y/n.” he growled, pushing her on her back again, “you said you were in this. You said you wanted me, that you were going to be by my side always. You can’t just change your mind. You can’t.” His voice was strangled with emotion almost breaking on some words.

Y/n had never heard his voice so filled with sorrow. Because that’s what he must be feeling. She thought that he was also feeling betrayed by her but then she realized-- no, he was afraid. Afraid of losing her.

He knew what he did and he also was aware that y/n was not one to mess with. She was just as stubborn as he was and just as prideful. What she had seen had hurt her and it was only what she felt for him that prevented him from being mindlessly dismissed and removed from her life. She had not resisted him more forcefully because she cared, because the wound was still french and that meant that there was still a tiny hope left.

“That was before you fell for another woman. I can’t stand by and watch you be with her. You can’t ask that of me.” She whispered, meeting his eyes. No matter how much she loved him, that was simply something she was not willing to put herself through.

“That’s not what I’m asking. That’s not what's happening.” He pledged. Y/n didn’t know if it was a trick of the moonlight seeping in from her window but she saw his eyes well with unshed tears.

“Isn’t it?”

“It isn’t.” He insisted, his hand on your jaw holding it closer. “Alina is a pawn, Alina doesn’t know what is going to happen, she doesn’t know me.” Heaving a sigh, Aleksander held her face, his thumb caressing her cheek.

“There is no one on this earth that has ever seen me more clearly than you do, solnishko. I know what you saw, I know what it looked like because that was intentional. But I trust you to know the difference between what it’s really happening and what it looks like because they’re not the same.” His eyes were alive with an intensity y/n had only seen a few times before. He was ancient and he was skilled at manipulation amongst other things. She always tried to keep that in mind but now, looking at him, she couldn’t help but feel like he was being genuine.

Why would he want me near? There wasn’t an ulterior motive for wanting her by her side. Yes, she was the only one who knew about his plans but that wasn’t it. If it was, he would have simply killed her. Took less time than this. Also, y/n knew that the power was in her hands. If she said no, that she couldn’t do this anymore, she was sure that Aleksander would let her go.

“But the way you were looking at her, Aleks, I just-” a lump formed in her throat as she recalled the look on his face, “you’re spending more and more time with her and I can’t help but fear that- I mean she’s literally the embodiment of sunshine.”

“You’ve never seen the way I look at you, then.” Thumb trailing over her lower lip now, he gave her a weak smile. “I swear that there’s no one dearer to me than you.”

“I’m not sure I can’t stand the idea of you kissing and touching her, Aleksander, I’m sorry.” Y/n insisted as well because she knew him and she knew that the way she worded things was crucial.

“That won’t happen then.” He assured but she was still not fully convinced.

“I promise it won’t come to that.” So Aleks rephrased. It was better but still not good enough. But they could work on that surely.

“It seems to me though, that I have not done a good job at showing you what you meant to me. I need to reinforce it, don’t you think?” He proposed, using the hand on her face to pull her closer to him.

“I agree.” y/n mumbled on his lips before they smashed together. She didn’t wait for him to initiate the kiss. She thought she had lost him tonight and had already been trying to plan her life without him. She wasn’t willing to waste any more time. She was going to show everyone that he was hers and only hers so as not to leave any more doubts around them. Fuck gossip.

Propping herself on her elbow she used it as leverage to reach up to meet him. The hand he had on her face moved backwards to hold her head while her hand did the same in his hair. Both of them pulled the other impossible close, not willing to leave the smallest of spaces between them.

Sitting up, y/n used her other hand to first the lapel of his kefta. She quickly unfasted the buttons to get rid of it before she pushed him on his back.

“She thinks she has a chance, uh.” She taunted as she straddled his waist, roughly gathering her sleeping gown around her waist while his hands instantly shot up to rest on her hips.

“She thinks she’ll be as lucky as seeing you like this?” she continued, her hands caressing his naked chest, “that she’ll have the chance of touching you? kissing you?” she leaned down, one hand at the nape of his head to make him meet her halfway. It wasn’t a long kiss, she needed to make a point after all. Pulling away, she bit his lower lip earning a moan from him.

“To feel you like this?” she whispered in his mouth as her hips wiggled over his clothed member. His hands tightened his hold on her hips, pushing her down on it increasing the pressure.

“She’s delusional,” Aleks gasped as her mouth trailed kisses along his jaw and neck where it nipped and sucked.

“Mh,” y/n agreed, “let’s make sure she knows.” She promised before her mouth went back to sucking a few hickeys on his neck. Aleks only moaned and gave her more space to work on. His hands trailed up from her waist, cupping her breasts before playing with her nipples.

As her mouth lowered on his collarbone, Aleks decided that enough was enough. His hands roughly gripped the end of her gown before hastily pulling it up and off her body. One arm snaked over her waist pulling her flush against him as he sat up.

“Enough teasing,” he warned as the hand that wasn’t on her quickly discarded his undergarments.

“As you wish, moy sovregni,” she whispered sultrily on his lips knowing fully what effect those words had on him. Aleksander growled on her mouth, his hands kneading her ass cheeks as he gently lowered her on him.

Gasping as she felt every inch of him enter her, y/n gripped his shoulders as she started to move. Aleks’ hands guided her as she set a steady pace.

“She’s never going to feel your hands on her body,” she breathed as Aleks’ hips snapped up, setting a rougher pace.

“You’re mine.” She growled possessively on his lips as her hips met his.

“I’m yours, y/n. Just as you’re mine.” His tone matched hers. He sealed his promise with a bruising kiss. The trusting was becoming more and more frantic and Aleks’ could feel y/n clench around him.

With no previous warning, he lowered his hands from her ass to her thighs so that he could hold her while he changed their position. Guiding her legs to wrap around his waist, Aleksander leaned on his knees while he pushed her upper body down with his chest. Y/n gasped on his lips not knowing if it was for the movement, for the change of position that meant that he was now able to reach deeper than before or because she could feel her orgasm approaching.

Whatever the reason may be, Aleks swallowed her gasp as his lips refused to leave hers. Snapping his hips, he moved his hands from her legs. One went to stimulate her clit while the other choked her lightly. He knew that this combo would prove to send her over the edge. Not long after, as a matter of fact, he felt y/n’s nails on his shoulders as well as her walls tightening around him. He was not behind.

While y/n whimpered his name over and over as her orgasm hit her, Aleksander’s thrusts began to falter. With one deep thrust, he emptied inside her, obscene sounds leaving his mouth.

He leaned over y/n’s body, both of their breaths heavy, they basked in the afterglow. Aleks’ head rested over her chest, comforted by her steady heartbeat while y/n’s hands trailed over his back.

Once their breath had levelled and they could regain control over their limbs, Aleks propped himself over his elbow, his nose nuzzling y/n’s making her giggle at the soft touch. She loved these rare moments of softness and intimacy between them. If she could, she’d never let them end.

“I promise you’ll never have to doubt me again.”

“If you keep this up, it’d be impossible for me to.” She chuckled, referring to her limp body. She couldn’t trust her body to move. Sex with Aleksander always had this effect on her.

“Good to know I can still satisfy you.” He smirked as he leaned down for a small kiss. Giggling on his lips, y/n pulled him close, making him rest his weight on her rather than his elbow.

“I’m thoroughly sated, my love. You have nothing to worry about in that department.” Aleks couldn’t see her but could feel the smirk on her lips. Intertwining their legs, he got more comfortable on her. Her arms held him in a tight embrace.

“You’ll do well to remember it, dearest.” His voice came out muffled since his face rested between her breasts but y/n got what he meant anyway. Laughing at the idea that she could ever need anyone else, y/n held him closer to her chest. The embrace her form of a promise to him.

She had everything she’d ever need right here in her arms.

[snuggetfish]

majima pillow talk headcanons please?

Can do, anon 👀 Find them under the cut!

If you’re spending the night at Majma’s place, in the bed that he almost never uses for sleeping, let alone fucking... it's gonna be a foreign, though not unpleasant sensation for him. The weight of someone else's body on the mattress, the warmth they radiate. Their head nestled close to his, since he's only got one pillow. You see, there was never any need for more, not with his previous escorts and one-night stands who had money to collect and places to be. 

And usually so does he. Though now that he’s got a stable partner... things are different. He wants to stay and he wants them to stay, but that's a request that is all too vulnerable to be communicated in words. So instead he maybe tries a hand placed on their waist or their thigh.

Once it's clear they're not going anywhere, the other hand would inevitably reach for his pack of cigs. Because it's his flat, Majima's not at all concerned about smoking in bed, even though usually he's mindful about indoor smoke. Listen, I know the cigarette after sex is a big cliche, but I reckon Majima would do it less as a form of relaxation and more as a way to keep his mouth busy while his partner talks... because they're going to have to be the ones initiating conversations, at least at first.

Praise is gonna stroke his ego and maybe make him blush ever so slightly. Sure he’s good at dishing it out during the act itself, but in the quiet afterglow, he’s suddenly very conscious of how intimate it sounds.

"You make me feel amazing" - now that’s not something he gets to hear often 😳 He’s quick to turn it right around - “Don’t go stealin’ my line” - although it’s actually the piercing look he gives you that holds the most meaning. Mellow and full of affection, a look that tell you he enjoys these pair-bonding moments more than you’d think.

So what if feelings are hard to discuss at first? There’s other topics that can take the edge off. Like a simple game of “would you rather?”, where the questions are casual and fun, but also gradually reveal bits and pieces about each other. And about future plans.

“Beach condo or mountain hut? If you were to escape to a far away place, leave it all behind.”

“What kinda choice is that, between a sunburn 'n a place my ass freezes off soon as I step outside? I’m more used to the city...”

Majima finds it hard to picture a home, as opposed to just a house, no matter its location. Though maybe if he had someone to share the space with... oh, now we’re back to the feelings 🙃

He decides to shoot you a question. He absolutely needs to know where you stand on this:

“Would ya rather live off karaage or takoyaki fer a year?”

“Are you so eager to get rid of me? Don’t think my arteries would last a full year...”

“Psssh, I’ve done both before ‘n lived. It’s the Majima Goro Fine Dinin’ Experience. Ya’ve gotta get used to it if ya plan on...” 

He stops there, but in your head, you’re able to finish that thought: if you plan on sticking around.

And you do. And the more he learns that, the clingier he’ll get during pillow talk. If it started with a hand on the thigh, eventually it’s a full on death-grip cuddle, with either Majima’s head on your chest, listening to every heart beat, or the reverse. Anything is fine as long as you’re near - as near as possible - and yet not able to read each other’s expressions. 

All you feel is the scrape of his stubble on your skin and on the crown of your head, as he finally opens up a little more about his past, the good times and the traumas included. There’s no immediate feedback, he can’t look into your eyes, so he feels less defenseless and a lot more willing to share. This is probably also the moment he finally gets comfortable losing the eyepatch around you.

But by the time all the word games have been played and all the grim histories dissected, one of you will likely be dozing off... and it’s not gonna be Majima. Not unless he’s had a particularly exhausting day at work. Given his night owl habits, it no trouble at all for him to stay awake well after your breathing has slowed along with your heart. 

Just the time to voice the many confessions he’s left unsaid... 💙

[leviiattacks]

teacher!levi and teacher!reader headcanons please 🥺

author note :: i expected for this to be better but idk,,, um, you know maybe it’s just me who wishes i executed it better but i wrote this at 3am that’s my excuse. ANYWAY I HOPE U ENJOY ANON :-))) i know it’s not headcanons but here!! also my ask box is always open to feel free to drop by !! 

word count :: 5.4k (after i had to severely cut the word count down because my tumblr wouldn’t let me post the longer version with more detail,,,,)

honestly you’ve never fit in well with the math teachers in particular but you’re still amicable with most

however, there’s one unbearable member of the group that happens to want to play jump rope with your patience constantly

and that person just so happens to be mr ackerman

every single staff meeting the both of you sit furthest away from each other whilst silently exchanging bitter glares

maybe it’s his stony disposition or his unrealistically harsh grading system that makes him seem so off putting to you.

or perhaps it’s your soft and gentle approach to teaching that drives him up a wall

but to make matters simple, the two of you have never got along. nearly everything he says you disagree with and nearly everything you say he has to rebuke.

every outlandish suggestion of his at meetings is met with firm disapproval from you and every time you bring up wanting to provide the children with more time for extracurricular activities he sneers in annoyance

today he’s proposing a plan to set exams as soon as possible

???

you wonder if he’s even thinking with his head attached to his neck because it’ll be impossible for the children to handle all of the content in the form of an exam paper so soon

the workload he’s been pushing onto his math class has become far too ridiculous for your liking and you want to put an end to the man’s reign of terror

it just so happens your classes are scheduled in the blocks next to each other meaning he always sees your students an hour before you do

it’s got to the point where your pupils trudge into english class completely EXHAUSTED

the other day a boy fainted because of lack of sleep and now mr ackerman has the audacity to put forward the exam dates???

“we need to instill these children with discipline. taking them by surprise will give them a much needed reality check.”

you groan at his speech and raise a hand

“may i interject?”

professor ackerman’s tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek the irritation is painted on his face but he nods although he seems reluctant

“these children do not need standardized exams to-”

“would you like for me to completely scrap exams from the curriculum?” without even allowing for you to present your argument he has to cut you off with a mocking grin

“levi, i think-”

“that's mr ackerman to you.”

his blunt correction has you rolling your eyes because YES!! you understand the two of you aren’t exactly the best of friends but he doesn’t even want to be on a first name basis with a colleague of two years??

his pettiness has your blood boiling in searing displeasure

“you have to stop going so hard on these children.”

he’s shuffling through some paperwork not even batting an eye in your direction.

“personally, we aren’t hard enough but of course the english teacher has trouble understanding that.”

the jab he makes at your job only causes the anger inside of you to bubble up again

why does teaching english have ANYTHING to do with this???

“you teach math yet you can’t calculate the reasoning behind your subpar love life. do not insult english.”

personal insults are your favourite to throw at him because he always gets so riled up

and actually for once you have the answer to a math question.

the reason why his love life is so uneventful has to be because of this :

his personality + his obnoxious humour + his looks = a good looking but undatable man

his jaw clenches and the grip he has on the stack of papers in his hands strengthens

ok,, that is kinda hot but that is not relevant at all

you’re able to make out miss ral one of the other math teachers make a move to speak and god you fight the urge to punch her every day because she’s always gushing about mr ackerman

seeing as you don’t want to punch her or anyone for that matter you turn to give her a “if you speak right now i swear to god i will lose my shit” look

she gets the memo incredibly quickly because her mouth closes shut immediately

mr ackerman takes a sip out of the cup of black tea next to him. “i would appreciate if you just sat back and let me do what’s best.”

“children fainting in my lesson is not what’s best.” your rebuttal catches him off guard and he seems more than a little surprised

“wait- fainted??”

you eyes flick over to mr zacharias, you had told him to pass the message on but the way he’s sheepishly looking at the floor avoiding your eyes clearly tells you all you have to know

“looks like someone forgot to pass the message onto you but the other day falco fainted in english.”

“is he- is he okay?? did he say why?”

eyebrows raising you’re quite surprised to see any sort of reaction from him let alone concern

“he stayed up all night completing your homework.”

lips pressing together into a fine line it almost looks as if he’s guilty

“i’ll talk to him about it later.” his voice is back to its usually plain tone and any trace of his previous worry has been masked.

an awkward silence follows. he coughs choosing to not continue the discussion about exams.

principal smith takes the hint and moves on to discuss planned school trips

HOORAH victory!!!

yet another day where you’ve saved your students

“who is fallacy and why are they pathetic?” a few snorts and giggles are heard around the class and you force yourself to laugh at falco's miserable attempt at a joke

you’ve noticed falco’s been cracking more jokes around his new seat mate gabi.

she’s small but feisty always willing to debate and she’s really a joy to teach although she can get a little bit aggressive with the others at times

honestly it’s quite obvious that falco has a fat crush on her. well, actually it’s been obvious from the moment she step foot into your class

and... you couldn’t just ignore the way falco looked at her could you?? and there was an empty space next to him too sooooo, what harm would there be in placing the two together?

it seems as if your attempt at getting the both of them to talk has worked. gabi and falco compete desperately for the top position in the class and are two of the best students you’ve had in a while

also after the day falco fainted in class gabi has been noticeably nicer. things like asking if he’s drank water or how much he’s slept

you have a small inkling that she may like him back

and the budding romance is adorable to you because you too once had childhood crushes

it feels rather nostalgic to see the two interact

but today you notice the two aren’t in

in fact, you notice half of the class isn’t?

“where are the others?” your question sends a jolt through one of your present students but he stays silent choosing to pretend to clean his glasses as a distraction

crossing your arms over your chest you walk over towards his desk

“udo, you can tell me what it is.”

“professor ackerman said not to tell.” udo looks petrified and you’re just kinda wondering what in the hell is going on

lucky for you his resolve is thin and he quickly cracks under pressure

“okay. you can’t say i told.”

nodding in agreement he looks around making sure no one else hears what exactly it is he’s about to disclose

“he’s kept some people back to talk to them about something top secret. i don’t know what but he asked for the students who like you.”

at that you feel a little bitter because if he asked for the student who liked you why on earth is half the class still here??

but oh well, you guess you can’t please them all

“oh no, no, no. you’ve got it wrong. we all wanted to stay but he didn’t let us.”

udo looks genuine so you let it slide

either way it doesn’t really matter as long as the majority prefer you over that sick and twisted math teacher you’re alright

“he does know he’s cut into my class time right?”

“falco told him that and he whispered something about how you’re bothersome.”

you???? bothersome???

WHEN HE’S THE ONE BOTHERING EVERYONE?/!:£:!/)

you don’t even look back as you walk out frankly furious at what’s happened

english is important

ACTUALLY!!!

ENGLISH > MATH

you will stand by that till the day you die

your knuckle meets with the wooden surface of your sworn enemy’s classroom door and almost automatically you’re able to hear the shuffle of chairs and padding of numerous footsteps approach

the door swings open and you step aside to allow your missing students to pass through

they look nervous but one look at your reassuring smile lets them ease up and relax

“well.” a voice behind you snaps “look who paid me a visit.”

“we’re talking about this later.”

you try your best to sound serious but you don’t know if you pull it off as well as he does because he just ends up giving you a disappointed sort of look

“y/n. stick to being the good cop it suits you better.”

“we are not on first name basis. you said it yourself.” is your narrowed comeback

finally turning to face him you’re surprised when your eyes travel to the triangle of space behind him and you’re able to get a peek of what looks to be a list of books on his whiteboard

pride and prejudice

wuthering heights

jane eyre

ville-

before you’re able to read the rest he moves in front of your line of vision

he’s got quite the selection but,, when did he of all the people on this planet start showing any interest in literature?

“the books on the board what’s that about?”

your inquiry flies over his head and he shuts the door behind him completely

his face doesn’t move and if it does it only shows the slightest hint of confusion

“what books are you talking about?” he replies and don’t know why your knees feel a little weak when he looks you straight in the eyes

snap.

out.

of.

it.

“i saw books on the board.”

“you saw wrong.” he barks back and he’s getting agitated now

maybe you did imagine it...

and you have to get back to teach your class so okay fair enough you’ll let it go because you do know you have a habit of daydreaming randomly

however that doesn’t stop you from giving him another skeptical look before you leave because there is NO WAY you imagined it, but it is you and it really could be a possibility

the click clack of your heels against the floor sound out as you remove yourself from the conversation

you assume he’s returned to his classroom

that’s why it catches you by surprise when you hear a hesitant voice behind you

“there were no books on the board.”

you don’t know why he has to tell you that again because it only makes himself look all the more suspicious

“but if they were a list of book recommendations then what would you recommend i read?”

the question is peculiar coming from him

are you in an alternate universe?

is this a dream?

are you talking to a clone?

a robot?

because this can NOT be the same man you’ve been working with for two years

maybe he’s having a change of heart?

but that sounds unlikely

maybe he’s planning to read the book and somehow with that big brain of his formulate a calculation to score it a measly two out of ten

yeah. that sounds more likely.

nevertheless, you still want to give him a recommendation, maybe he’ll find out he’s into books this way

“you should totally check out pride and prejudice :-)”

for once you’re smiling at him and he doesn’t know what to do because the change is sudden but he doesn’t say a word after that

instead he retreats into his classroom

god.

now you’re sure he’s just asked to form a stupid calculation or whatever the hell it is math teachers do.

“he likes you.” hange has a shit eating grin on their face and you can’t help but narrow your eyes and sigh in exasperation

no he does not like you but you don’t try to correct hange because you know they’re firm in their stupid belief

“would you ever date him?” hange fiddles with the last of their potato salad absentmindedly waiting on your reply

the question literally has you choking on your lunch

“i would rather fight for survival in the wilderness. thank you for asking.”

“oh come on... he’s got a thing for you. you read romance novels all the time you should be able to tell he does.”

“yeah and that thing he has for me is wanting to shove my head onto a pitchfork. you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.” shoving a piece of pasta into your mouth you sigh dreamily at the taste. it serves as a momentary distraction

you get one lunch break and you are not!!!! in the mood to talk about him whilst you’re on that break

he’s attractive

and you have to admit he looks handsome in his crisp white button up and pristine black suit AND his cologne is really...

okay, you are digressing from the point

none of what you just said means anything!!!

at surface level he seems like a catch but it’s what’s on the inside that matters and he said he finds english stupid

that’s more than enough of a reason to dislike the guy?

he thinks stuff like the pythagorean theorem and y = mx+c are entertaining

y = mx+c ??? over literature???

you read books to teach and you read books for your own enjoyment

it would be a complete travesty if you had a crush on a book hater

and levi ackerman most certainly can be classed as a book hater.

a pessimistic book hater if the specifics are needed

“OH! SORRY Y/N GOTTA BLAST MOB’S OVER THERE!!!!!”

you don’t even get the chance to say goodbye because hange makes an eager run towards moblit

hange and moblit are inseparable, both are the shared heads of the science department and since he’s been off on sick leave recently you understand why hange’s rushed off to greet him

you wish you had a teacher friend like that but the sad truth is you’re pretty much a lone wolf. the other english teachers are wrinkly old pickles and talk about antiques or quiz shows :-(

“this seat free?”

no way.

it’s not him

it can't be

what does he even want??

“um, well yeah it is free b-.”

“good.” he takes the seat without you even inviting him and now you’re stuck in an awkward situation you didn’t even expect to be in today

you're about to burst into tears because is it too much to ask for a peaceful lunch period???

mr ackerman clears his throat and places a book in the center of the table. “pride and prejudice although not my cup of tea was... mildly enjoyable.”

wait...

is this him...

admitting defeat!??

HELLLOOOOO

you are over the moon right now because you know he really had to have enjoyed it a lot and is simply choosing to withhold that information for his own reputation

“i’m happy to hear you took a liking to it.” you’re munching away at your pasta a little more upbeat now

“okay but the start of the book assuming all single men want a wife? no, all i want is a good night’s rest for once. also mrs bennet needs to calm down, elizabeth can marry who the hell she wa-”

“someone’s a little passionate aren’t they?” you giggle into your glass of water and you catch mr ackerman frowning

“i liked it okay.”

“i thought you said it was only mildly enjoyable just now?” grinning and looking at him through your lashes his cheeks become red

you guess he’s angry or something but that’s the usual with him

“yeah, whatever. i just wanted to play fair and apologise.”

“apologise?” oh wow, now your interest has really peaked because never in the past two years has he apologised to ANYONE

not even principal smith for the one time he flipped out and nearly cursed at a mouthy student at parent's evening

grimacing a little before he does it he finally speaks again.

“english is important. i’m sorry.”

your lips tug up into a bright smile

well???

this is a great interaction??

an apology coming out of levi ackerman of all people

“apology accepted! i’m glad to know you liked the book but now that we’re a tad bit friendlier with each other i wanted to ask for a favour.” your eyes gleam and he swears he can see specks of shining stars in them

“...okay, it depends.”

he’s warming up to you so he considers it

“please don’t cut into my lesson time levi.” his name slips out of your mouth but it’s so natural you don’t even care to correct yourself

“i’m sorry about that too y/n.” your name now ventures out of his mouth too as it tests the waters

wordlessly the two of you agree to first name basis

BUT more important matters are at hand such as how he’s issued you yet another apology?

this is satire surely

because why is he so willing all of a sudden...?

well, that's the power of pride and prejudice, wow you’re really thanking the heavens for blessing this world with jane austen’s existence

jane austen. a woman capable of remarkable things, she's even managed to make an unmoving book hater somehow become a lover

poking at your tuna pasta you and levi are now quiet.

“soooooo, any opinions on mr wickham?” you ask the question hoping to initiate a longer conversation than before

and luckily for you your attempt works

SUCCESS!!

levi pinches the bridge of his nose and the creases on his forehead show he clearly isn't particularly fond of wickham

“don’t get me started he’s so indescribably annoying?”

ok, ok, ok

you don’t even know how it happens but you and levi really hit it off

weeks have passed and you and him have even become lunch buddies

it was so shocking to moblit at first that he dropped his lunch on the floor when he saw you and levi enthusiastically exchanging words

then again, two mr wickham haters are bound to get along

you’re seriously wondering how the two of you ever survived as mortal enemies

yeah, you still disagree a lot but you’re getting there!!

sometimes he helps you out when your computer stops running and in exchange you’re willing to offer him book recommendations

he swears he doesn't want any recommendations from you but you know he enjoys it

yesterday he got microsoft excel out and showed you how useful it really was and you went :O because you never really understood the need for it at all

you’re a little bit of a granny when it comes to tech...

and just today at lunch you recommended he checks some plays out but his nose wrinkled at the mention of shakespeare so the both of you went through a long list of dramas and eventually you were able to interest him in j.b. priestely's an inspector calls

another victory for you!!

anyway, right now the two of you are sitting inside of the staff room seeing as it's that time of the month again.

time for the monthly staff meeting

it's the first one you've had since you and levi became friends and you're worried the both of you will be back at it butting heads

wait, are you friends?

well, you wouldn't mind if that were the case but to be honest you would like to be a little bit more than friends mayb-

no!!! no!!! no!!! stupid thought!!! you retract that statement immediately

no you do not want to be more than friends with levi ackerman, yes he's lovely to a degree but you are not going to elaborate on why it's a terrible idea to fancy him

okay wait, let's elaborate for the sake of elaborating

he's surprisingly charming and wittier than you thought he would be. the fun conversations are making your days now and to be honest it is nice to have someone to spend lunch with (hange usually skips out on lunch all together to tinker in the science labs and set up experiments)

wait... weren't you suppose to explain why you don't want to get with him?

you're an idiot and you don't notice how dumb you really are until everyone just kinda gawks at the both of you because it's so odd seeing you in the same room let alone within a three feet radius of each other.

fuck, you completely forgot you and levi sat at opposite ends of the room

principal smith enters and even he looks visibly shocked at the change in seats but he doesn't mention it and you're grateful he doesn't because you didn't purposefully sit here it just happened on accident

erwin turns in your direction and smiles

"would you like to start off with your proposition for extracurriculars?"

nodding your head you begin passionately.

"well, i'd like to say i don't think we offer the children enough. we have spare funding so why not open another club? cooking perhaps? i understand many of you may not understand the importance of teaching them how to cook but-"

"do you have an obsession for setting these children up for failure?" tensing up you notice it's levi who's spoke and he doesn't sound remotely happy

blinking once and then twice he realizes his tone isn't the best and he mutters an apology "sorry, go ahead i'll add in when you're done."

whispers travel through the room straight away

"did he just say sorry?"

"actually why are those two sitting together?"

"do you think they're you know...?"

miss ral who's sat a little further away is the next person to disagree with you

"i understand the intention but would it not be better to let them have extra math lessons?"

"oh, so you can get a pay rise?" the comeback you make is aggressive and dripping in displeasure

she sits up face burning up

"no- no- absolutely not i take pleasure in teaching all of my classes." flustered and trying to hide her nerves she takes a sip out of her water bottle

you want to pour all of the water out onto that ginger hair of hers

the reason why her interjection is getting on your nerves is due to the fact you overheard her and another one of the math teachers plan to bring this specific point up

and you are well aware that her reasoning behind it has nothing to do with the children

she couldn't care less about them

"do not make me repeat what you and mr bozado were chit chatting about earlier today."

the threat is enough to silence her and just when you think you've handled the situation levi has to give his input

"let's ignore petra's motivations and talk about how teaching these kids how to cook means nothing if they have no tradable skills to offer in the real world." levi's not looking at you. he's either too annoyed or too preoccupied with his thought process

at that moment you feel naive, you thought maybe he would try to understand your opinion seeing as he's been spending so much time with you as of recent but that looks to not be the case

murmurs of agreement fill the room at his statement and you feel pathetic

it's practically the entire room against you now

genuinely how is it these people can manage to be such spoiled sports about everything?

"recently, i asked all of my classes to write an essay about school stress. maybe you won't understand my views because you haven't read their pieces but they need a fucking break." the expletive flies out of your mouth without warning and you flush in embarrassment

that

was

not

professional.

"oh god, i'm sorry i got worked up i shouldn't hav-" fumbling over all of your words you feel even more mortified

the principal raises his hand signalling you stop and you clamp your mouth shut. you're in huge trouble that's for sure

but,,, in spite of the clear difference in opinion between you and the other teachers, soft and well spoken principal smith says the unthinkable

"i have the final say and i believe you are coming from a good place after reading your student's work. how would you feel about running the new cooking club?"

scanning his face for a second you can tell his question is legitimate and the wave of relief that washes over you has never felt better than ever

sighing contently you agree and as the topic of conversation shifts to something else entirely you sense your heart rate picking up

you feel like you're back to square one with levi.

it's yet another day where you’ve saved your students and you should be feeling overjoyed but if anything you feel a little deflated

you wish he would have come around and understood but you can't teach and old dog new tricks

again, the feeling of disappointment wears you down

two weeks have passed since then and your favourite time of year has come. it’s spring term meaning MACBETH

the english curriculum includes plays and it just so happens that today is your first lesson covering shakespeare

and you LOVE shakespeare

something about all the intricate foreshadowing always has you excited

but some children are missing

and it’s way too many to blame on sickness

so you wait for a few minutes but it's consistently radio silent

the last time this happened the culprit had been levi and he promised to never cut into your lesson time

but you could count on him to break his promise after the fiasco that was the monthly meeting

is he back to hating you and hating literature?

well, that's his loss if that's the case!! and no!! you will not upset yourself over the loss of the budding friendship

sighing you get to your feet making a beeline to the door but gabi and falco rush to stop you

awkward chuckles activated they wave their hands to get your attention “OH NO, they’ll only be five minutes!!” their sentence comes out as one big blur of words but you manage to understand them

now you’re doubtful because you know falco and gabi would usually ignore you and allow you to walk out

giving them a knowing glance the pair look between each other

their eyes are clearly communicating and asking if it’s alright to tell you

“i promise i won’t be mad.” you sigh

perhaps if you reassure them they’ll be more likely to spill the beans

“it’s not that you... i don't know. you might be upset.” gabi isn't one to care much for other's feelings so you're slightly anxious even though you shouldn't be

but you’re a tough nut to crack. so, absolutely not. you are not going to upset yourself over whatever it is

“i won’t be hurt. i’ve suffered through reading some of the most emotional classics to ever exist.” hitting your chest with your fist you wince a little because you hit yourself a little too hard

falco’s seems to be too shy to come out with it so gabi takes the lead as she normally does

“some students were talking badly about you so mr ackerman kept them behind to have a talk.”

oh.

yeah, actually you are a teeny weeny bit disheartened because you think you’re nice to all of your pupils but it’s nothing too bad, not everyone will like you

“if that’s all i’ll go get them. thank you for letting me know.” giving them two thumbs up you leave the class immediately

levi is probably scolding them to hell and back

not because he cares for you but because he hates disrespect in general

as you’re nearing the open door of his classroom you hear something you never thought would emerge from levi’s room

“final question. why does mr darcy say he doesn’t want to dance with elizabeth at first?” oh yeah, that’s levi’s voice for sure

an english question?

is he quizzing them on pride and prejudice?

you wait hoping your students don't fail you and are able to provide the correct answer.

“ummm... she’s not pretty enough!!”

levi hums “you answered all five questions right. do you all know why?”

you can’t see the children’s faces but they have to be confused if there’s no immediate response

he grunts in agitation “because your english teacher works hard to teach you every single day. have some respect because that teacher of yours is one in a million.”

taking your bottom lip in between your teeth you fight the urge to smile

“do you know how at every single staff meeting there’s only ever one teacher fighting for you all and what you want. i can assure you that teacher isn’t me, but i believe you can all guess who i'm talking about.”

your heart does a back flip in your chest and you feel jittery but in that really fuzzy good way

like that super duper fuzzy and hazy good way

he’s really very sweet for saying all of this and you're now smiling like an idiot

one pupil takes a chance to make amends “we’re sorry mr ackerman.”

but before levi can give them a response you clap your hands together and walk in unannounced 

“apology accepted, now if you want to all be forgiven forever please return to class and answer the questions on the board!” directing them to the door with your hands you make sure they're conscious fo the fact you aren't mad at them

still, never have you seen them so eager to run off to analyze macbeth. you guess levi's deathly stare is the cause for it

holding back a laugh you clear your throat after the last student leaves

“thank you levi :-)”

it’s quiet for a second and you think to ask him about what has been gnawing at your mind

“you didn’t have to do that. you disagreed with me before so... why did you?”

“i say this at every meeting and you never listen but children need to be disciplined.” his unchangeable tone is unwelcoming

again it’s awkwardly silent and you sorta regret even coming over to see what was going on because now you and levi are just having an uncomfortable staring contest

then he scratches the back of his neck and heaves a heavy breath

“it may also be because i really fucking like you, but i look like an idiot saying that when we’ve been at each other's necks for two years.”

oh.

the sudden and brutally honest confession has the wind knocked out of you, you’re stunned

and then you get hit by it too. the realization hits you like rain hits umbrellas on stormy days. you like him too.

you like him for his witty sense of humour, his pure honesty and his hatred for mr wickham only serves as a bonus

yes, you have your differences. many of them. but you like him

he’s no longer a book hater and so by default you can fancy him. he goes against none of your guidelines essentially

you like him, he likes you back?’//’.;

[SCREAMS]

“well, what do you say? will you be this mr darcy's elizabeth bennet?” hearing the cheesy pickup line from him of all people has the butterflies in your stomach exploding in delight 

“you sound weird, where's the grumpy math teacher from before?" now you and him are simply shamelessly flirting but HEY!! you have no complaints at all

he scoffs at your sarcastic question

"do you want the equation for a two dimensional heart on a graph beca-"

"can i just kiss you?"

wOWIE are you being bold today y/n???

thankfully you don't have to wait for his answer. levi’s right hand pulls your face in and he slams his lips against yours. he gives your waist a squeeze and you hold him tighter by the neck in response. he has a way of somehow making it all feel gentle and relaxed in the same breath

and... you know what? maybe you should have recommended pride and prejudice to him earlier

but oh well.

what matters the most right now is that you're kissing your mr darcy!!

and he’s kissing his elizabeth bennet

:-)

[stxleslyds]

Also, the writers' failure to understand, every crime Jason committed had a motive. Attack other criminals? Holy warrior destined to purify the world of evil. Attack Bruce? Joker's still alive. (Oh, Jason, it's much worse than that.) Attack Tim? A parody of what he once was. He wasn't just a "bad boy". He was dangerously insane.

Hi, Anon! Yup, there seems to be a lot of things that writers have gotten confused about Jason Todd/Red Hood and the biggest one is his motivations to kill certain criminals.

Let’s be honest, Judd Winick set a golden path for the upcoming Red Hood writers. But each and every writer that used Red Hood in their stories completely missed the point of Jason’s character. All of them. It’s so incredibly wild to me that every other writer read UtRH and came up with whichever version of Jason they came up with.

Let’s list the writers that completely missed the point.

Geoff Johns in Teen Titans vol.3 #29.

Geoff Johns was one of the first to completely mischaracterize Jason, why on earth would Jason go to the Titans Tower to beat up Tim? This is not me saying that Jason would never do that because Jason thinks of Tim as his brother or a friend or the person that he can trust the most from the Bat-Clan (can you believe Lobdell tried to sell us that one?), this is me saying that Jason wouldn’t have done that because he couldn’t have given less of a fuck about Tim’s existence.

When Jason found out that Bruce had another Robin he wasn’t bothered by his “replacement” he was mad at Bruce for having another child playing hero after he lost his life as a fifteen-year-old. Jason didn’t even think of Tim as his replacement as fandom likes to make us believe, Jason called Tim “pretender”. And that was that, but to go from minimal recognition to go out of his way to beat him up at Titans Tower is a massive mischaracterization.

Paul Dini in Countdown (to Final Crisis).

Paul Dini in Countdown did absolutely nothing with Jason, I am sorry but that’s all he did. Him writing Jason was like watching a dog trying to catch their own tail. He started with a pretty basic take on UtRH Jason, then he added a bit of Jason being an annoying man with Donna, then we had the jealousy arc because apparently, Jason had the hots for Donna but she didn’t want anything to do with him and he was all angsty when she paid attention to Kyle instead of him, and then, later on, he had that whole Red Robin bullshit (I am sorry about this, but I absolutely hated that, it was so dumb, I am so glad it didn’t last long because it was just too bad), and after all that mix of just not interesting stuff he went right back to the Jason that he had at the very start. It was a waste of time, but I guess that he had to be there because he was an anomaly and all that. I just think that was DC’s first try at making Jason Todd/Red Hood something more than just a street-level vigilante and they failed miserably.

Tony S. Daniel in Batman: Battle for the Cowl.

Even though the first two did make mistakes with Jason’s characterizations, this man was the first to just throw UtRH out of the window and make up his very own version of Jason Todd. And his version was horrendous, that Jason had no problem with attempting to kill children and innocent people, he also really wanted to be Batman because Gotham needed a Batman and he wanted to be the person to wear the Cowl and he was looking for a Robin for himself.

I know, the whole concept is the perfect opposite of what Jason Todd and Red Hood were in UtRH. Every aspect of BftC Jason is based on nothing.

Jason wanting to be Batman because Gotham needed Batman is just the beginning of what’s wrong in this book. Jason became the Red Hood (in part) because he believed that Batman and his ways weren’t what Gotham needed so he made a better version of Batman with Red Hood (according to him) because Red Hood did what Batman refused to do. Another thing that is just wrong is Jason wanting, Damian, Tim or Dick to be his Robin, there is just so much wrong with this, first of all, Jason wanted Batman to stop having Robin because child soldiers ran the risk of dying at a very young age and that’s exactly how he saw the whole thing because that was what had happened to him. Second, if Jason was mad at Bruce for getting another Robin why would he now want one of his own to team up with his Batman? Damian was a child, Tim was someone that apparently Jason hated (because Jason beating Tim was mentioned in this event), and then Jason actually asked Dick Grayson, Nightwing, to be his Robin? Listen, there is no way that was Jason, nothing about him makes sense, even taking into account that Jason had beaten Tim already in this event Jason actually tried to kill both Tim and Damian (it might have been just one of them but yeah, it still doesn’t make sense).

I just don’t think that Tony S. Daniel knew who Jason Todd was, maybe he got confused but the thing is, his “villainous” and deranged version of Jason Todd allowed a villainous and deranged version of Red Hood to happen with the next writer that I will be talking about.

Grant Morrison in Batman and Robin vol.1 #3-6.

This was the birth of the villainous, deranged and bloodthirsty Red Hood. There is absolutely no trace of UtRH Jason here, not even if we are looking at the opposite of things like we could do with Daniel’s Jason. Grant Morrison wanted Dick and Damian to have a villain to match their Batman and Robin and they decided to give us a red-haired-pill-headed-red hood. Everything from Morrison’s characterization of Jason is crazy, from the red hair (hello pre-crisis) to the awful Joker’s Red Hood looking suit, everything was just weird.

I still don’t believe that was Jason, to be honest, I would rather think that version of Jason was actually a rouge Skrull that came all the way from the Marvel Universe and lost his way in Gotham City. Maybe when he made the jump between universes, he got too much information and got confused and took the form of the wonkiest Jason Todd he could come up with.

This Jason was absolutely deranged, he knew exactly what he was doing and he didn’t care if innocents died. This Jason was the one that got locked up in Arkham. This is the Jason that Dick put in Arkham for Jason and everybody else’s safety.

Dick putting that Jason in Arkham wasn’t a bad thing or something that anyone can use to shit on Dick Grayson (not on this house). This Arkham was reformed and that Jason knew that if he stayed in that new Arkham he would stay away from trouble, but here is the thing, that Jason loved trouble, so he took all the tests to prove he wasn’t insane and asked to be transferred to Blackgate (where all the Red Hood’s enemies were). That Jason didn’t ask to be sent to Blackgate because the Joker was a cell away from his in Arkham, he did it so he could go on a killing spree in Blackgate (which he did when he got there).

Skrull Jason was just bloodthirsty and nothing like UtRH Jason, he had no motive other than just killing for fun or whatever. He didn’t want to protect Gotham and he couldn’t have cared less about the drug trade in Gotham. In Batman and Robin vol.1. Jason Todd was unrecognizable. And luckily, we never saw him again.

Scott Lobdell in Everything that he ever wrote about Red Hood.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Lobdell was the king of overpowering Jason, he was the one that drove Red Hood farther and farther away from his street-level vigilante status. He continuously added more to him, he was a big deal because he was meant to take down Ra’s al Ghul, he was a big deal because he was the only human to train in the All-Castle and learned to summon the All-Blades.

This Red Hood’s morals and ideals were kind of gone, there just wasn’t any kind of interest in Jason to get rid of drugs or try to control its trade in Gotham, he just had no interest in street-level threats, everything was extraordinary in both New 52 and Rebirth. If he wasn’t in space he was in some mystical land. His friends and allies became even more and more powerful, his level of power was completely off compared to the others. His personality was ever-changing and quite honestly you could barely see the Jason that he once was.

This Jason also was very inconsistent in the way that he felt towards people (obviously because Lobdell is a shitty writer), he wanted to follow Batman’s rules and was shown as someone that still had fond memories of his life with Bruce before he died but was also willing to let those memories go, to move on? Maybe? I don’t know. But he changed his mind about Bruce and following his rules or not for a very long time. Jason was also a little bitch about Dick, and he was a little bitch because he (Lobdell) never gave the reader or anyone a concrete reason as to why he hated him so much and then in Rebirth he decided that Dick wasn’t that bad. Also, Jason went from “Willis Todd, abusive husband and father that deserved to die” to “Willis Todd abusive husband and father but he sent me letters when he was in prison and Penguin had him killed so now, I really want to avenge him”. Yeah, I don’t really know why that happened and like most of Lobdell’s arcs and stuff it was never really completed or well thought out.

Lobdell’s Jason characterization was a mess for ten years and that’s the prime reason why Jason is a character with no solid background, story or future.

James Tynion IV in Red Hood and the Outlaws.

Tynion’s Jason Todd was a hero, he was like a mini Tom King Batman. Everything he did was right and there was just no way that you could bamboozle him. This Jason was able to hold to Blades that drained his soul as well as hosting the Untitled in his body (that were able to drain his soul too) and on top of all that he completed his journey of the Chosen One by making those ancient martial arts moves that he learned before he was Robin even though Talia hadn’t been able to master it yet.

Scott Snyder, Tim Seeley in Batman Eternal and Batman and Robin Eternal.

A mess, this was pure New 52 levels of bullshit and they all just wanted to push the “Batfamily” and while Dick was gone, they were trying to make Jason fill the void that Dick left in Batman events. It didn’t work at all and all they did was mess around with Jason’s characterization more.

Geoff Johns in Three Jokers.

I have talked enough about Johns’ takes on Jason Todd and Red Hood, but let me tell you something real quick, if a writer thinks that the best they can do with a character is make them give up their morals/ideals for an unrequited love interest, then they can keep that idea for themselves. Geoff Johns wrote a book that was absolutely not needed and then proceeded to butcher every characterization that he could, Three Jokers was three issues long and he managed to add more trauma to Jason’s torture, push the narrative of Jason being at fault for his own murder and make Jason’s motivations to be the Red Hood weak enough to make him want to give up his work for a woman that he barely knows (and doesn’t like him at all).

Joshua Williamson in Future State: Red Hood and Robin #5.

Now, with Williamson I have issues only when he writes Jason, not because his stories are bad, don’t get me wrong, I would have completely enjoyed FS: Red Hood if it weren’t for the completely unnecessary Rose/Jason side plot he had going on. Jason was clearly working undercover for some people that he hated working with. He had to arrest or kill “masks” (vigilantes, just like he “used” to be) for the Magistrate.

His ideas were pretty solid, Jason did the job but he never killed the masks and actively didn’t trust the Magistrate but he was working there to tear them apart from within, and that’s amazing if Williamson had given us Jason Todd/Red Hood working undercover to dismantle an organization I would have been really happy.

But that’s not all he gave us, even if I just forget about his failed attempt at giving Jason a relationship, I can still see that Williamson is the kind of writer that wants (or is just following DC) to make the “Batfamily” happen no matter how dumb and out of place it looks in comics’ canon. So, I am a little bit weary, any writer that leans too much towards making Jason and Bruce work together and become a family makes me want to scream, but I do understand that is just me, many people want those two to be buddy-buddy, I, personally, would love to see Jason kick Bruce in the balls and tell him to lose his number.

Chip Zdarsky in Urban Legends: Cheer.

Ah, yes, I remember the days in which I thought that this could have been something good. Well, I was utterly wrong and I suffered all the way through this mini. I feel like now I can safely say that Zdarsky only wanted to write a Batman book but DC told him, “Hey you can write Batman but it has to be within a Red Hood story, but don’t worry, you don’t have to know much about the Hood guy, just come up with something and write Batman around that”.

I know that’s what happened because I read that story and all we got from it was horrible characterizations for pre-Robin Jason, Robin Jason, Jason Todd and Red Hood. I don’t know how he did it but yes, he managed to mess it all up.

From Jason not really wanting to be Robin and acting recklessly every step of the way, to secret desires of a perfect family with Bruce and so many other people that he couldn’t care about, Urban Legends: Cheer is the perfect book to avoid at all costs if you believe that the concept of “Batfamily” is the biggest lie, DC is trying to profit off this time around.

Zdarsky also nerfed Jason in ways that I thought DC only wanted to nerf Dick Grayson. But I was able to see that I was wrong. Zdarsky’s run also pushed some of the most disastrous narratives that DC really wants readers to believe like: Robin Jason wasn’t good at his job, he was too reckless and ultimately his death was his own fault. Yay! I want to cry!

I will give Zdarsky two points for at the very least showing that Red Hood wants to protect children and that he has a huge issue with how the drug trade is controlled and abused in Gotham City, it had been a while since we had seen that aspect of Jason’s Red Hood make an appearance.

-

It’s just too many writers completely missing the point of Red Hood’s character or simply writers agreeing to destroy Jason’s uniqueness in the DC Universe so DC (as the publisher) can further push the abomination that is the “Batfamily” in comics’ canon.

I do agree with you Anon when you say that Jason isn’t just a “bad boy” but I also don’t think that we can call UtRH Jason “dangerously insane”. Personally, I will only use that last description for BftC and Batman and Robin Jason, those two were dangerously insane indeed.

UtRH Jason was very meticulous in who he wanted dead and who got to live. He entered Gotham’s most dangerous world and he had to make a big entrance, he invited the eight most prosperous street dealers to a meeting, showed up with the decapitated heads of each of their right-hand men and an AK-47 and said:

“I am offering you a deal. I will be running the drug trade from now on. You will go about your business as usual. You will kick up forty percent to me. That is a much better deal than the Black Mask will give you. In return, you will have total protection from both the Black Mask and Batman. The catch? You stay away from kids and schoolyards. No dealing to children, got it? If you do, you’re dead.”

This was Red Hood! Red Hood wanted to control the drug trade in Gotham because he knew that Gotham is far too corrupt and filled with drug lords for him to just want to eradicate drugs from Gotham. If he had tried that he would have been a dumbass, but he wasn’t. He didn’t want to start a gang war and get innocent people killed because of it, he wanted to set the rules of his new Empire and he had to start with the street-level drug dealers, from there he grew until he became a major pain in Black Mask’s ass.

We went from Jason wanting to control the drug trade and take over Gotham’s underworld so people like Black mask couldn’t have people work for him (or being dependent on him) when they were still in high school or were in a vulnerable position, to Jason fighting a war for a mystic land because he was their “Chosen One”. DC really wanted to do something grand (yet boring) with Jason instead of sticking to a street-level vigilante that could have become a Drug Lord to control the drug trade of a city that is so filled with crime and corruption that it can’t be saved by anyone.

Batman doesn’t eradicate crime, he “controls” it, puts a blank it over it, lets it nap up until it wakes up once more to make more mess.

Red Hood had other plans, certain criminals didn’t get to nap, or, better said, they would get to nap forever.

So, no. I wouldn’t call that “dangerously insane”, I will call that “vigilante that believes himself judge, jury and executioner” of a city that is drowning in crime and corruption.

Anyway, I hope you have a really nice week Anon and thank you so much for sending me this ask!

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Just Short of Forever [Spencer x Fem!Reader]

Thank you to the lovely Anon who gave me this idea: maybe spencer or reader is about to get married to someone else, and they have a sort of runaway bride situation. they realize they have feelings for their ex (being spencer/reader) and they realize they can't get married.

Please feel free to send me ideas/requests! 

CW - none really, mild angst but mostly fluff.

WC: 2.6K

Once upon a moonlit October, Spencer Reid met the love of his life and promised her forever. But their forever didn’t come. Call it fate, call it destiny; call it what you will, but their forever was cut short. 

Somewhere along the line they lost their way. Their “I love yous” became “I’m sorry’s”, their laughter turned to tears. Warm smiles became cold. Hello’s evolved into goodbyes.

Five years was not forever. But you would always carry a piece of each other in your heart. You were each other’s first and strongest loves. 

But life had other plans for you both. 

***

The music blasting from the speakers stung your ears like a thousand tiny pin pricks. The alcohol in your system was enough to dull the boisterous crowd but not enough to stop the assault of the music on your eardrums.

You excused yourself from your group of friends, having to shout to be heard and pushed your way through the throngs to the front door of the bar. 

You gasped, desperate for the fresh air of the crisp March evening to fill your lungs. There were a few people on the sidewalk smoking and conversing and the odd car passed by but other than that the street was quiet. 

Just what you needed.

You pulled your cell phone from your purse to check your messages. You smiled to see some from him. You opened them to read them, just a voice came from behind you.

“Excuse me, miss? I think you dropped this.” 

You froze instantly at the voice. It had to have been nearing three years since you’d last heard it, but you knew that articulation no matter how many years it had been. 

“I guess this is it then.” He stepped into the corridor, the box cradled in his arms.

“I guess so.” You agreed with a sad nod. 

“I hope you find what you’re looking for.” 

“I hope you do too.” You chewed your lip determined not to cry. Not yet.

“Goodbye Y/N.”

“Goodbye Spencer.” 

You slowly turned around and your eyes met. Those hazel eyes gazed back at you, the ones you’d fallen in love with all those years ago. 

His face noticeably fell when he realised it was you. You saw his Adam’s apple bob deliciously beneath the soft flesh of his neck as he swallowed. His hand was held out with your keys in his open palm. You must have dropped them when you got out your phone.

“Hi Spencer.” You breathed with a shaky smile. You stepped a little closer and cautiously took the keys. “Thanks.” 

“Y/N, hi.” He swallowed again, his voice low and croaky. “I didn’t recognise you from behind. You changed your hair.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. You had no idea what to say to him. You never thought you’d see him again and now he was here in front of you there were so many things you wanted to say but nothing that seemed appropriate. 

You watched his eyes regard you, from your too high heels to your skimpy dress. You never dressed like this when you were with him.

His glance faltered when he reached your chest, but not for the reasons you would think. 

You saw his eyes widen slightly, and you swore you saw tears brimming in them.

“Oh wow,” he choked as he spoke. “I guess congratulations are in order.” He pointed at your sash, the one that told him in large gold letters you were the “Bride To Be.”

You followed his gaze down to the sash, you’d forgotten all about it. You ran your fingers over it absentmindedly.

“Uh...yeah.” You muttered. “Thanks.”

“When’s the big day?” There was a twinge of jealousy to his tone, combined with a hint of bitterness. 

“Uhm...two weeks Friday.” 

“Wow.” He gnawed heavily on his lip, he swore he tasted blood. “That’s uhm...I don’t know.”

“Yeah.” You didn’t know what to say. What could you say?

“Actually,” he spoke again, his voice now restoring some punch. “I do know. It’s...it’s...horrible. It’s awful, it’s completely and utterly-”

“Y/N!” 

Spencer was cut off by your best friend and maid of honour poking her head out of the bar and calling your name. 

“They’re playing our song!” 

“I’ll be right there!” You called back, attempting a smile. 

She smiled back and soon disappeared back inside.

“Sorry I have to go. Thanks for finding my keys.” You went to walk past him, not being able to look at him anymore without risking tears. 

As you did so, you felt a strong hand clasp around your wrist stopping you.

You turned back to Spencer, shaking him off you.

“What? You have more to say?” You folded your arms across your chest in frustration. 

“Do you love him?” He surprised you with his forwardness. 

“Of course I love him. I wouldn’t be marrying him if I didn’t.”

“Let me rephrase that then.” He stepped closer to you and you caught his scent in your nose. You’d never been able to describe the way he smelt, it was an aroma that was simply Spencer. 

“Do you love him more than you loved me?”

Now that was the million dollar question. Honestly you knew the answer to that. You’d known since the first time you met Spencer you would never love anyone the way you loved him. But you weren’t willing to tell him that.

“I’m not answering that.” You shook your head and turned on your heels. “Goodbye Spencer.”

“We could have had it all!” He called after you, but you kept walking.

“Goodbye Spencer.” You repeated as you threw the door to the bar open and vanished. 

Spencer was left staring at the space you had just occupied. 

He should have been over you by now. He thought he was over you. But then you’d been standing in front of him and he’d fallen all over again the moment he glanced in your eyes. 

Knowing you were getting married tore his heart in two. Your break up had been mutual, it just hadn’t worked out but that didn’t stop him loving you. 

“It should have been me.” He whispered to himself as he turned and headed back down the street. “It should have been me.”

***

The sun was shining, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It went some way to dulling your nerves. But they were still there, bubbling under the surface. 

You’d thought of nothing but Spencer and those brooding eyes since your bachelorette party. Truthfully, he’d been on your mind since the day you broke up but over time he’d faded to a distant memory. Now he was back with full force.

You’d still been mourning your break up with Spencer when you’d met Tristan, your soon to be husband. 

The wound was still fresh, open and gaping and you’d thought Tristan would be a great distraction from the pain. Somehow over two years past you by and when Tristan proposed to you, you found yourself saying yes.

You did love him, just not the way you’d loved Spencer. The love you had for Spencer had been new and exciting, something you’d never experienced before. It had swept you off your feet and turned your whole world upside down. 

Your body ached for him when he was away on a case and every time he returned and pulled you into his arms, the feeling overwhelmed you. 

The door opened and you immediately leapt up from the couch. Spencer looked exhausted as he stepped across the threshold, but as soon as he locked eyes on you his face lit up.

“Spence!” You fell into his arms immediately and buried your head into his chest. You inhaled his scent, that pure Spencer scent. 

He wrapped you tightly and protectively in his arms.

“Y/N,” he breathed you in. “Gosh I missed you.” 

“I missed you too baby.” You squeezed him. 

“Not half as much as I missed you my love.”

The two of you stood in the doorway in a loving embrace for several minutes, neither ready to let the other go. 

The two of you never felt safer and more at home than in each other’s arms.

You smoothed down your dress and took in your reflection, trying to shake all thoughts of your lost love.

Everything was in place. Your make-up was done, your hair was pinned perfectly in place and you were cinched in your dress. 

You turned to the side and then the other side and you even managed to smile a little. You felt like a princess, that much was for certain. But was the man you were about to marry your prince?

You stepped over to the window where the gardens could be viewed. A winding path snaked between perfectly manicured bushes. 

His black suit stood out against the greenery and you didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. 

You spun around, hoisting your dress up as you marched from the room. As you were heading down the stairwell a voice caught you.

“Y/N where are you going?” Your best friend. 

You turned to look up to where she was standing up the top of the staircase. 

“There’s something I need to take care of.” You told her vaguely.

“Well hurry up, the ceremony’s starting soon. You of all people can’t be late.” She laughed.

“This won’t take long, trust me.” And with that you carried on down the stairs. 

You found the back entrance easily enough and shoved open the door. 

He was wearing his best suit and tie and his hair was swept back off his face, you’d think it was his wedding day. 

“Hi Y/N.” He smiled at you as you approached.

“Don't hi me Spencer. What the hell are you doing here?” You didn’t need to ask how he knew where you were getting married, he’d no doubt gotten his friend Penelope to find you. 

He laughed a little and the sound made you go a little weak. 

“It’s simple really,” he shrugged. “I’m here to tell you you’re marrying the wrong man.” 

It was your turn to laugh now. 

“Really Spencer? Where was this man three years ago? If I recall we wanted different things. So please enlighten me, why am I marrying the wrong man?” You didn’t have time for this, but you wanted to hear why he’d had the audacity to show up here today.

And maybe you wanted to see if he could convince you that you were marrying the wrong man. 

“Because you don’t love him like you loved me. You don’t love him the way I’m pretty certain you still love me.” 

“Nice try.” You scoffed. “I’ve got to go get married. Goodbye Spencer.” You turned away from him now and hoisted your dress again so you could make a quick exit back up the garden. 

“You didn’t deny it.” Spencer’s words were smug and it irritated you enough to get you to turn back around.

“Didn’t think it was necessary.” 

“I didn’t fight for you.” He stepped closer to you. “I didn’t fight for us. And maybe three years is too late. I know this isn’t ideal timing on my part but I’m here now and I’m ready to fight.”

“Spencer, our time has passed.”

“Do you remember our first date?” 

You frowned, you really didn’t have time for this.

“Yes Spencer, of course I remember our first date.”

For October, the weather had been good to you. Spencer had taken you to the Smithsonian, you’d probably learnt more from him than anything the institution had to tell you. 

Afterwards you’d gotten coffee and strolled through the DC streets for hours. 

You chatted about everything, your jobs, your childhoods, what made you tick, music and movies and everything in between. 

Somehow the sun had set and before you knew it you’d spent the whole day together.

“I have to say,” you glanced at him as you strolled towards your apartment. “This has been an excellent first date.”

“It has been, hasn’t it.” He smiled at you. “I might even go as far to say the best first date.”

You blushed as you came to a stop outside your building.

“Well this is me.” You shrugged shyly. You wanted him to kiss you, but you weren’t sure what he was thinking. 

“Look, I’m not the “cool” guy. I don’t really know what is best practice on first dates and I could very well blow this before it’s even started…” he started, coming closer to you and taking hold of your hands. “But I have had an amazing day. And I just want you to know that if you want it, I’m standing here now promising you forever.” 

You felt tears well in your eyes and a shiver passed up your spine at his words. The way he was looking at you was so different from the way anyone had ever looked at you before in your life.

“I’ll bear that in mind.” You smiled and closed the space between you and kissed him. 

It was the kind of magical kiss that would live on in your memory for the rest of your life.

“I promised you forever.”

“You did.” 

“And I meant it.” He stepped closer again, cautiously. 

“Y/N!” You heard your name being yelled across the garden. You turned to see your bridesmaids in the doorway staring at you. 

“What are you doing? We need to go!”

“Two minutes I promise!” You called back. 

You waited for them to leave before you turned back to Spencer.

“I really need to go.” 

“Please Y/N.” He took hold of your hands with an urgency of a man who knew this was do or die time. “I’m not this man Y/N, you know that. I’m not the kind of man that crashes someone's wedding and asks them to run away with me. But that’s how much I love you. I love you more than all the stars in the sky and I always will. So I am here, crashing your wedding and asking you to run away with me.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks all of a sudden. Maybe it’s all you’d wanted to hear from him. You’d waited to hear those words for five long years. But was he too late?

“Spencer,” you sniffed, chewing your lip. “I’m in a wedding dress. I am getting married today.”

“Why do you think I wore my best suit.” He grinned. “I’m not saying don’t get married today Y/N. I’m saying marry the right man. Marry me.” 

“You want to marry me? Today?” You gave him a look as though you didn’t believe him.

He let go of one of your hands and reached into his jacket pocket. Seconds later he pulled out two tickets.

“Flights to Vegas. In one hour.” He shrugged. “I’m going, will you be there with me?”

“Are you for real right now?” More tears fell.

“I am very for real Y/N.” He laughed. “We can be married in a few hours. Please, let me make good on my promise. Will you be my forever?”

You looked at his eyes and then at the tickets and back again. 

It was all you’d ever wanted, Spencer standing in front of you telling you he wanted to marry you. 

And suddenly, the choice didn’t seem so hard. 

“Yes Spencer Reid,” you smiled. “Yes I will be your forever.” 

And with that you pulled him by the hand and the two of you started running. Running towards your future. 

Your future that was always meant to be you and Spencer. He was your forever. 

[onlyherefortheshowmances]

So I saw someone else get an anon message that said: “I hate to admit this, but I really can't shake the feeling that Benji loves Victor more than Victor loves Benji at this point.” I wanted to respond as well, because I think this is something people are probably seeing a lot and I really want to explain how I’m looking at it (from personal experience and just from looking at and examining the characters).

CW/TW: Mental Health, suicidal ideation/action mention, Addiction, Emotional Trauma, sex mention, Predatory relationship mention, catholicism, homophobia, misunderstandings, lack of communication, spoilers for love victor seasons 1 & 2 [let me know if I missed anything please]

I want to be frank in saying that Benji is my favorite character and I project onto him a lot (along with seeing a lot of myself in him). I’m also white AF, so I’m sure some of you think that’s relevant, but I really don’t think it is in this particular case. I do also however identify with Victor in a number of ways and I am trying to see the characters both as complex individuals with deep personal histories. Both have suffered traumas and both are clearly dealing with a lot of their own shit on top of being sixteen/seventeen and dealing with junior year of high school and all the pressures and expectations that brings for everyone.

I think what people are interpreting at loving someone more/less is actually about prioritizing someone/a relationship more/less. In my mind, from what I see on screen and interpret, they both love each other beyond words. They are both very much in love with one another. It comes down to how they display that to each other and to the public as well as where on their list of priorities this relationship falls.

Let’s start with Victor, struggles and life:

He is dealing with internalized homophobia and associated thought-patterns stemming from his upbringing in the Catholic church as well from the vocalized homophobic remarks from his mother (toward himself and Benji as well as likely at other points in his life toward strangers), his father (stating that he hopes Adrian doesn’t turn out ‘like that’; the scene in S1 where they’re at the church in Texas and he calls the hairdresser ‘flojito’; etc.), and his grandparents (on his birthday and likely at other points in his life). As a result of this, Victor tried to make himself straight (or at least interested in a girl) by dating Mia because he did like her as a person and everyone was telling him that’s what he was supposed to do. He ended up hurting her and almost losing her friendship (temporarily, he did, but she does seem to have forgiven him now).

He is dealing with outside homophobia as well. That kid on the very first day he was Creekwood responding to Benji helping him up. Felix’s comment that same day of ‘you don’t want to give people the wrong idea.’ The basketball team/gym class guys roasting him about not hooking up with Mia on the ferris wheel. Felix saying he’d be crazy to not like Mia. Lake asking ‘are you gay or something’ when he brought Felix along to Mia’s house, etc., etc. Some of these things may seem innocent enough, but they weren’t. Not to Victor who was already struggling to accept even the possibility that he might be gay. Once he managed to come out to his parents, obviously his father got better fairly quickly, but Isabel continued to struggle for six months which put even more pressure on Victor to try to lead this double life. Once he came out at school, the whole fiasco with the basketball team also occurred and that was a lot for him, because Basketball as always his safe-space. It’s where he went to get away from all the other pressure. It was something he didn’t have to think about and now suddenly, he did. Those pressure are also affecting his ability to think about what he may want and it seems affecting his ability to think (at all sometimes) about how any of that is also affecting Benji. It’s affecting him so much that he’s basically blind to how it’s also affecting Benji to see him suffer. He doesn’t even consider that possibility until Felix brings up how hard it is for him the night Felix breaks up with Lake and Venji get caught having sex.

Victor also has struggles away from just his coming out and accepting himself journey. He has the struggles associated with his parents separation. Until fairly recently, Victor always thought his parents had a perfect relationship. He saw that as the ideal. Get together in High School, get married right away, stay together for ever, happily ever after. That’s what he was raised to expect. And now he’s seeing their relationship fall apart before his eyes. Hell, his devoutly Catholic mother had an affair, and he’s wondering if it’s really possible for your first love to be your only love especially after he and Benji start butting heads, so he’s already vulnerable to that viewpoint when Rahim brings up the possibility. He gets so lost in what’s happening to his parents and what Rahim is saying about it not usually working out that he forgets how in love he is and he sort of loses his will to fight for what he wants, because maybe it’s just doomed to fail anyway (until he sees Benji at the wedding and it sort of hits again - and then Felix’s speech thereafter, obviously). He kind of loses his way by getting caught up in the statistic improbability of your first love being the one and watching his parents’ marriage potentially fall apart and he wonders for a moment if it might be easier, if it might be better to just walk away and go toward Rahim who he seem to get along with and seems to understand the things Benji doesn’t about him, but what he fails to examine in that moment is that he’s only barely scratched the surface with Rahim and that Rahim doesn’t know him like Benji does and that every relationship has it’s ups and downs and what it always comes down to is how willing both parties are to work to make things right. How much you’re willing to step into the other person’s shoes and try to understand. In my opinion, even if he were to walk away from Benji and go to Rahim, that bubble of understanding isn’t going to last forever either. He’s failing to remember that when he got together with Benji (and for most of the summer it seems) that’s exactly what it was like and failing to remember that they have grown beyond that into a deep soul-altering love for one another that deserves his time, energy, and effort and NEEDS those things to keep it going.

Now let’s talk about Victor’s priorities in life:

Victor has always been close with his family, especially his mother. The strain on that relationship is very taxing on his mental well-being. He has a hard time ‘standing up to’ her or talking back to her, etc. because he loves her and he just wants their easy, close relationship back. He already overcame his own anger at her affair to get her back, but now she’s the one pulling away because of his sexuality and it’s hurting him because if he was able to forgive her for something that was actually wrong, why can’t she forgive him for something that he has no control over. So he loves his mother and his family and he hates disappointing them. He has spent most of his life fixing his family’s issues (as he explains to Simon in S1), but now he is the issue and he doesn’t know how to handle it. When in 2x1 he decides to just bring Benji over and try exposure therapy with his mom, it backfires in a big way. Even though they barely touch each other. Even though Benji just says the word boyfriend once, it’s too much for Isabel and Victor desperately wants to please. He desperately wants to not lose his mother (who has always been the person he is closest to), so that causes him to take a step back from going against her and the steps he still takes (telling her he wants her to call Benji his boyfriend not just his friend, the whole conversation outside the church, the conversation with Adrian, etc.) are things that Benji doesn’t get to see happening and it frustrated Victor that Benji won’t even listen to him when he tries to say that his mom is making progress at all, because she is so important to him and yet it seems like Benji just doesn’t even recognize or care about that. This leads him to say the thing he does at Brasstown before Benji runs out, because he assumes that it has to do with Benji being white and of course, that is part of it, but I think Victor in that moment is so overwhelmed by the rejection of his mother and now the refusal of his boyfriend to even try to understand that he snaps. He forgets all the struggles Benji has told him from his own past and he just lashes out which causes Benji to leave [more on Benji’s viewpoint of this whole thing later].

Victor also loves basketball. It’s true that in some case LGBTQIA+ individual participate in certain activities to make them seem more ‘normal’. Gay men participating in sports to seem more macho is a common one, so Benji thinking that’s why Victor plays basketball makes sense to an extend, but he never bothers to ask Victor about, only makes assumptions, and Victor feels like the fact that he actually likes sports makes him ‘not gay enough’ (see conversation with Andrew). What he’s forgetting entirely is his encounter with Bram and the gay basketball league in NYC from episode 1x8. There are many ways to be gay, and sports gays do exist and are perfectly valid. That’s not the type of gay Benji or his friends/bandmates are, but it is the type that Victor is and Benji failing to recognize that and failing to understand or even ask Victor about that drives one of many wrenches into their relationship. In episode 1x5 when Benji shows up to Victor’s first game back on the team and does the Go Grizzlies dance with the other basketball girlfriends, it definitely does a lot of help Victor realize this was just a miscommunication/misunderstanding rather than anything malicious. Basketball and his teammates continue to be a priority for him after this, but that seems to be something Benji is now capable of understanding.

Finally, Victor loves Benji. He wants to be with Benji; there is zero doubt about that. However, for Victor when he’s put on the spot (as in episode 2x8) and basically told he has to choose his mom (who has raised him and been his closest confidant and biggest supporter for his entire life) or his boyfriend (who he’s known for almost a year and been dating for six months and is helplessly in love with) it processes as an error message in his brain. He just wants everyone to get along. He’s not mad that Adrian knows that he’s gay (he’s wanted him to know for months), but he is upset that his mom is now even angrier. [see my section about Benji in this moment, for more about Isabel’s reactions as well] In his mind, telling Adrian could wait. In his mind, he was willing to go along with his mom’s requests for a while longer just to keep the peace so to speak. He didn’t want his whole life to fall apart and that’s what he thought was about to happen in that moment. That’s why he asked Benji to leave. He didn’t want to make his mom any angrier. Could he have chosen his words better? Yes. Could he have made Benji understand better? Yes. But he’s sixteen and his brain wasn’t functioning at full capacity because post-sex brain is definitely a thing and he was also looking at his mom who has already been horrible and barely able to look at him for six months, looking even angrier after he finally thought they’d made some progress after church the previous week.

So in conclusion, regarding Victor:

He loves his family (especially his mom). He loves Benji. He loves Basketball. Obviously, he’s not going to prioritize basketball over either of the human beings involved, but I think it’s important to at least note it’s importance in his life. As for Isabel vs. Benji. To Victor, these are the two most important people in his life. All he wants is to be able to love both of them and have both of them love him in return. When they are pit against each other, especially directly, it’s hard for him to make a choice. It’s hard for him to say ‘no’ to his mom and it’s hard for him to say ‘no’ to Benji, but in the moment (episode 2x8 specifically), he takes Isabel’s side, because he knows the ramifications of saying no to her and of making her even more angry that she already is are far worse than the ones for asking Benji to leave for the night. He failed to realize however, how close Benji already was to the edge and how upset he was going to be and how little he understood (or was willing to try to understand) about the situation. This is something he really needs to communicate with Benji (even though it’s not quite as important now that Isabel’s apparently come around). I think it’s important for Benji to understand that Victor values his relationship with his mother enough that it’s difficult for him to go against her without a lot of preparation and having a fully fledged reason, etc.

Now for Benji - Struggles and Life:

The obvious of course is that Benji is a sixteen/seventeen year old that’s barely a year sober and attending AA meetings regularly. Recovering from Alcoholism is difficult at any age let alone for a teenager. One of the most important factors in recovery is looking at the things that led you to drink in the first place. Looking at things that may be considered triggers and either learning to avoid those people/situations or learning healthy alternatives in those situations. I have multiple family members who are both actively drinking alcoholics as well as those in recovery. I also lost my best friend/ex-fiancé to alcoholism a few years ago, so to say I have some personal experience in this arena is putting it lightly. Benji admits to Victor in 1x7 that he used to drink a lot because he knew he was gay, but didn’t want to be. To me that whole story screamed, I’m an alcoholic and while a lot of others agreed with that opinion. I was not shocked that Victor didn’t understand that underlying truth. Those that don’t have intimate familiarity with alcoholism often do not recognize the signs (either as they happen when when they are not directly told). It is made clear in episodes 2x7 & 2x8 that Benji hates this part of himself, in fact he says as much to Victor when he arrives at his apartment late the night of his birthday. Benji has still not fully accepted that the alcoholic part of himself that attends AA meetings and drinks orange juice while his friends are drinking vodka is one and the same with the part of himself that loves Victor with all his heart. This is something I’d really like to see him reconcile and work on in season 3 and beyond. Understand that you can’t compartmentalize yourself. You are but one whole person and all facets of yourself are in fact part of the singular you. [Not accounting for those with dissociative identity disorder.] It’s not directly mentioned if he’s still struggling with urges to drink, but most if not all alcoholics do, especially when experiencing those aforementioned triggers. Seeing Benji meeting with his sponsor after the incident with Isabel/Victor is not shocking to me and if anything, that was the healthy and correct response on his part. The reason he was drinking in the first place was that he was gay and didn’t want to be (internalized and probably external homophobia) and he just experience some really intense homophobia at the hands of his boyfriend’s mom (and partially said boyfriend himself). Benji’s lack of understanding of where Isabel was coming from in episode 1x8 speaks volumes to just how traumatize Benji still is about his own experiences with homophobia. The only thing he can think about in that moment is that this woman hates me for being gay. She hates her son for being gay. Being gay isn’t okay, etc. What he doesn’t factor in is that Isabel is also devoutly Catholic. I honestly don’t think it’s the gay part of the sex that horrified her the most. The Catholic faith is also very clear on the practice of abstinence from sex (at all) prior to marriage. She would’ve responded the same way had she walked in on Victor having sex with a girl, in my opinion, but in the moment Benji’s own trauma is overriding his ability to understand that because all he can see is the homophobia. This is especially true after she calls him Victor’s friend rather than his boyfriend and that in my opinion, is why he snaps. Could he have phrased it better? Yes. Could he have said it without shouting? Yes. But he is a freshly seventeen-year-old whose brain is not functioning on all cylinders in that moment.

Sort of coupled with his alcoholism and recovery therefrom is the allusion his mother makes to ‘dark times’ following his accident. I do have suspicions that perhaps he was also struggling with mental illness, and likely continues to. Depression to the point of suicidal ideation or actions (possibly only in the form of drinking, but possibly in other forms as well). Anxiety is pretty obvious from his actions and reactions throughout the series as well. I also think he is dealing with some sort of trauma-based disorder stemming from the homophobia he experienced (especially the instance of his father taking him to strip-club). It may go as far as C-PTSD (which I myself am diagnosed with) or it maybe something less (or even more). I’m not in the habit of sticking mental health diagnoses of people (fictional or otherwise though). Dealing with these things on top of what in his eyes feels like rejection from not only Isabel, but in a way from Victor as well likely causes some very unpleasant thought patterns and the potential for thought spirals and the likely. I also see indications that he could suffer from co-dependency (whish I also have dealt with in the past), but I’m honestly not sure if that’s me projecting or if it’s actually there.

Then on top of all of that, his boyfriend who he loves more than anything in the world, tells his deepest darkest secret to someone he’s literally never met or spoken to and that said boyfriend has only known for maybe a week at best and thinks it’s no big deal. In that moment, I can 110% see why Benji requests to take a break and I feel that choice is 110% the right one to make. What is a relationship built on if not trust? Victor just destroyed most if not all of the trust Benji had in him. That doesn’t mean he stopped loving him, just that he doesn’t trust him. Love isn’t something you can turn off and on like a light switch especially not the kind these two share. I definitely think Victor has a lot of explaining to do and a lot of apologies to make. I do also think they both need to have a really long, really honest and open conversation. Benji needs to be willing to get a little vulnerable and explain why certain things are causing him so much distress, but he also needs to be willing to listen to Victor explain why he can’t simply go against his mother as Benji seems to think he should. They both really demonstrated a degree of selfishness this season along with an lack of communication and a lack of willingness to understand or even try to understand each other’s points of view and that is a recipe for disaster in any relationship.

There also exists the issue of Benji’s parents. His mother especially seems to overstep quite frequently and insert herself into his life where she was not invited or expected. I do wonder if this was always her personality or if this is something that started after Benji’s accident. I have a hunch it was likely the latter. I see indications that perhaps there was some neglect or just general indifference on his parents part as he was growing up. They clearly missed that he had started drinking heavily and that he stole his dad’s car that night. He was also evidently dating Derek for quite a while before the accident. (Derek is another section by himself though.) This not to mention the fact that his father took him to a strip club and paid for a lap dance when he was no more than sixteen if he was even that old, in an effort to turn him straight. Benji tells Victor in episode 1x7 that he and his dad used to be close and that they used to go to Dollywood on road trips and other such things, but that he’s been distant since he came out. We see from the scene where he walks in on Benji and Victor making out that he’s not vocally/outwardly homophobic, but I would not doubt that he still harbors some of those viewpoints in himself. It’s evident to me that Benji is not close to his parents (he may once have been, but at this point it’s pretty clear that he’s not anymore). Benji doesn’t have siblings to the best of our knowledge. It’s also mentioned that his nana (like a paternal grandmother) is deceased, so it’s really not clear how much contact he even has with his extended family or how much of one exists. For these reasons, in his mind, there is no circumstance where his family (especially not his parents) would take precedence of his own happiness or Victor’s. That is why it confuses/hurts/angers him that Victor doesn’t stand up to Isabel, because if the roles were reversed, he would have no problem at all telling his own mother (or father) off. He doesn’t seem to comprehend Victor’s need to keep his relationship with his mother intact. I’m very glad Isabel pointed out to him that Victor has stood up to her and risked their relationship for him, but the disconnect still lies in that Benji isn’t a fan of the fact that he didn't’ do that in his presence and that he didn’t do more.

Then there’s Derek. Derek is at least a sophomore in college in season 2 as he was clearly in college in season 1 as well. Meaning he is at least 19/20 when Benji is 16/17. They had been together for a year the previous spring (episode 1x6) which means they started dating when Benji was 15 and Derek was no younger than 18 (I think he is like at least a year older than the youngest possibility). Georgia’s age of consent is 16, and there are no ‘Romeo and Juliet’ laws in place in the state meaning it is categorically illegal for anyone 18 years of age or older to engage in sexual acts with anyone 15 years of age or younger unless they are legally wed, meaning until Benji’s 16th birthday, this relationship was illegal in general not to mention the predatory nature of someone in college dating a high school sophomore to begin with. They generally don’t prosecute if the people involved are within 4 years of each other though (which coincides with ‘Romeo and Juliet’ laws in other states) which they could’ve been within depending on Derek’s actual age and birthday. It doesn’t seem like charges were filed either way which is questionable on Benji’s parents part. Benji also tells Victor in 1x10 that Derek made him feel bad a lot of the time about the things he like and about being a romantic, we also see Derek crap all over Benji’s special anniversary date in 1x6. The toxicity of that relationship is sure to have left it’s mark on Benji and carried over into his new relationship with Victor. I also find it questionable that knowing that, Benji was shitting all over Victor’s love for basketball at one point (isn’t that exactly what he complained about Derek doing to him about his interests?), though as you see in my earlier comments, I do understand that perhaps Benji wasn't’ fully aware that Victor actually liked basketball and wasn’t just doing it to seem straight/make his dad happy/etc. I also think it’s quite confusing that Victor managed to come up with that date idea for Benji in 1x6 and then the best he could do for Benji’s birthday was champagne and sex? I’d be more than marginally hurt over that if I was Benji, to be completely fair. It is also worth it to note that Benji stayed with Derek for over a year despite all of their problems (which goes back to the possibility of co-dependency issues) and yet he was willing to break up with him just to chase after the possibility of Victor. They had already connected on so many levels even prior to that night that even the possibility of that relationship made Benji willing to leave someone he’d been with for more than a year (obviously Victor’s little speech in the hallway played a part in that).

Benji’s Priorities:

In Benji’s world, he has a few things that could be considered priorities.

Maintaining his sobriety is obviously one, but he keeps that separate from everything else. I don’t see it being held above or below anyone or anything. It’s just a completely separate thing to him (which again I feel he needs to reconcile). He was able to do that while also appeasing his friends and Victor (see episode 2x4 where he switches out his cups).

His music/band is obviously a priority, but again that’s something basic that everyone knows about and accepts. He doesn’t have choose between that and anything or anyone else that we’re shown.

Victor is his primary priority however. To him, that is the most important relationship/person in his life. He doesn’t know what he’d do without him. He says he loves that part of his life which I take to mean, he loves who he is when they’re together and not so much when they’re apart. To him, there is no question of who he would choose if there was a choice in front of him between Victor and literally anyone else (including his parents). That is why it confuses/hurts/angers him when the choice isn’t so simple for Victor when he actually has to make one between Benji and Isabel. Benji isn’t close with his parents and he doesn’t seem to understand what it is like for someone that is. Even if his parents didn’t come around right away. Even if they still may not be fully on board with everything, it didn't’ matter that much to him, because he could stand up to them because he didn’t care about destroying a relationship, because there already wasn’t much of one to begin with. This leads to him not understanding that Victor is seriously conflicted in the moments where he is made to choose between his boyfriend and his mother, because to Benji that choice is crystal clear. Again, they could really do with an honest conversation about this where Benji actually listens and tries to understand where Victor’s coming from, because right now, I think he just doesn’t quite get it. It’s clear that Isabel’s speech at Brasstown helped him to understand or at least start to, and obviously now that Isabel isn’t so much of an obstacle everything becomes a little easier, but it is still something that I really feel they need to discuss and understand about each other.

In conclusion:

Both of these boys need therapy (individual, family, and couples), and they would really benefit from a lot more open and honest communication where they both are able to speak honestly about their needs and desires as well as both being able to listen to and understand (or try to at least) one another.

[viltrumitesuperboy]

The King of a People (Thor x Reader)

Back from hiatus. Gender neutral, can be romantic or platonic. I read longer fics than I write so I feel like I could definitely try to write more with a really good idea. So far I get things that I can write short, but I’d like to try my hand at longer works.

Requested by: anon Would you be willing to write a Thor x reader where the reader is also from Asgard and they’re in the refugee ship after the events of ragnarok and both of them just bond with each other? (Before thanos ruined the party)

Word Count: 1470

As you watched your homeland explode into dust, you could feel everyone in the ship deflate. Even through the crowd, you could see the king hang his head in silence. The ship began to move away to prevent getting caught in the blast, and Asgard became a dark spot amongst the stars. Eventually, the crowd dispersed when everyone lost sight of what was once their home.

Thor, the king returned to his place, stood from the throne and turned to his rocky friend, who spoke to him in a cheery tone. Thor pat his shoulder and turned to step away from the window. You had been helping a young child who had gotten hurt on the way to the ship. It wasn't a bad scrape, but you helped dress the wound anyway. When you reached to help them stand up, a hand on your wrist stopped you.

"Let me," Thor said.

He held his hand out to the small child, who smiled and grabbed his hand. Thor pulled them up with a gentleness that contradicted the build of his body, and put his hand on their shoulder.

"If you need to find your family, speak to Heimdall. You'll be alright," Thor promised.

The child rushed off to Heimdall, who was helping a few other people.

"Are you missing someone as well?" the god asked, now standing in your line of view.

"No, it's just me," you said. "It's been just me for a while now."

"May I ask why?"

"I was a warrior. Not anymore. I had a vision one night that a great terror would come to Asgard if I remained a soldier. And when I did, she came. I left almost instantly, but it seems it was my fault anyway."

Thor looked thoughtful, and gestured to the hallway that led further into the ship. You followed him in silence.

"Just before I came back, my father told my brother and I of Ragnarok, the end of Asgard. If anyone caused it, it was me. I had to destroy our homeland to stop Hela. Do not blame yourself for anything that has happened because you and every Asgardian are the reason that you have all survived," Thor sincerely told you.

There was a pause, mostly because you didn't know what to say.

"Also, thank you for your service," he rushed out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you laughed.

"I've heard people on Midgard say it to their warriors. Asgard is so different and we have our traditions, but maybe we should start thanking our warriors. They've all just died to protect a planet that no longer exists. If you are one of the only few left, perhaps thanks are in place."

"Well, thank you for coming back to us. We needed you. Nothing against your brother. It was very peaceful when he ruled, actually."

Thor chuckled, his face now more visible because of his short hair.

"Sounds just like him. I'm going to search for him, if you wouldn't mind," he said.

You bowed and he gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes, continuing to walk down the hallway. He no longer had the regal stance of a prince, but a humbled one of shame and regret. Gone was the arrogant prince you served years ago. In his place was a man beaten down by so many things, but his hope remained.

———

"Thor. If you value your other eye, you will keep that away from me."

"I promise it's nothing bad! I just want to try something."

"I know what you're doing! And when you electrocute me, I am going to stab you!"

You walked into the large piloting room in the ship to see at least a dozen people spread out around the area, watching Thor and Loki bickering. Thor held a goblet of water, and Loki, who looked like he had taken a bath with his clothes on, was backed up in a corner and fending him off with a chair. Brunnhilde was sitting in the large seat, facing them as she played with some device.

"Hey, what's going on?" you asked, stepping up next to Thor.

"Ah, (Y/N)! Recently, I realised that my powers don't come from Mjolnir," he began.

"Don't listen to him!" Loki snapped. "He's trying to pour the water in a path to me so that he can use his powers on the water and electrocute me."

"Thor, do you have anything to say?" you asked, turning to him.

"In my defense, he's the best person to try it on! If we're both hurt, we heal quickly. And he gets to stab me in return, so it's fair," Thor said.

He didn't sound convinced of his own plan, and his eyebrows furrowed.

"So you're telling me you couldn't try it on an inanimate object?"

He paused, thinking to himself.

"I.. suppose not. Come, (Y/N)! We have things to do!"

He placed the goblet on the floor and marched off to one of the hallways. You looked to the prince, then to Brunnhilde, who had given him a towel to dry off with.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want Thor getting into any trouble," you said.

"Then hurry up and follow him. I'm not the one you should be worrying about," Loki replied, glancing at the Valkyrie. "Worry about her. She's an angry girl."

"Just go. Also, convince him to let us stop somewhere for supplies. And alcohol," Brunnhilde said.

You apologised again and ran off, catching a glimpse of a smirk on their faces. When you caught up to Thor, he was waiting for you outside a room.

"Your Majesty, how did you know my name?" you asked.

"Please, call me Thor. I asked Loki. He seemed to know a lot about you."

"Why were you asking about me?"

Thor froze, then began to stammer for a bit. He shut his mouth and walked into the room, as if you'd forget about it. It was funny to see the confident god flustered, and you laughed to yourself as you stepped in to follow.

———

The ship was quiet, as most people had gone to sleep. Because space was always dark, Thor had made set times for sleep to imitate the original night and day of Asgard, which people easily followed. He was their king, after all. Brunnhilde stood beside him as they both looked outside into the enmity space, with stars littered all around. You stepped up the platform to stand beside Thor.

"It's strange knowing that I only got to see Asgard one last time and aid in its destruction," Brunnhilde said.

"We served our people, and that's what matters most," you said. "Thor refuses to let me forget that it's not my fault that I survived and everyone else didn't."

"It's not your fault," Thor said.

"Then why are you blaming yourself?" Brunnhilde asked quietly.

The three of you were silent, until she let out an awkward cough.

"Alright. I'm drinking until I fall asleep. Bye."

She walked away. It was probably the most heart-to-heart you'd get from her.

"She's right. What happened with your sister wasn't your fault, and it wasn't yours either. Ragnarok was supposed to happen, whether we like it or not. And we still have the people, don't we? That's where Asgard truly is."

You turned to look at him. His face was hardened, but his remaining eye told you all you needed. He was so tired of losing people all the time. He lost his brother multiple times without knowing if he'd ever come back. If he lost his people, he'd lose his hope too. You took a step closer to him, leaving only a small space between the two of you.

"Thor, look."

He turned to you, then behind when you gestured to the ship and the few people still hanging around the area.

"Those are your people, and they're safe. They're looking forward to a new life. Even Heimdall understands that he must let go of his original position guarding the Bifrost and to guard his people instead. You need to let go of your past and be the leader that they need."

He turned back to you, and faced forward to the stars.

"There are so many worlds, and it had to be ours that was destroyed," he said, his voice rough. "I don't know what to do next."

"Well, look at all of this."

You gestured to the empty space full of stars and planets.

"You've chosen where we go next, and we have all of this universe to explore," you said. "You've given your people hope. Blaming yourself will not move us forward."

His hand reached for yours and grasped tightly. You held it back just as strong. After a few moments of silence, he exhaled shakily.

"Thank you."

[charming-2d-boys]

May I have hcs of the adult trio finding a box full of various first place medals and trophies in their s/os closet and when asked about it their s/o just dodges the topic?

Hey, anon! 😄

Thanks for the request and I hope you’ll like it 🙇

Chrollo

he probably found it by accident

kind of like a magpie noticing something shiny

of course his curious mind will want to see what it is

and when he pulls the box out and sees the little mountain of medals and trophies

Chrollo will be impressed as hell

mostly because of the fact that it means you’re very smart

it doesn’t even matter what you won them for

but he’ll definitely want to talk about it and know more

especially if what you won them for isn’t something he knows much about

so imagine the little bit of surprise that courses through him when he notices the hesitation and the way you try to avoid and even change the subject

great, now Chrollo’s even more curious

so, this could go two ways

first, he leaves you alone

doesn’t mention it again until he knows you will talk

and you will, because you know that he’s curious

but Chrollo respects your decision and is willing to wait for you to get comfortable with the idea of telling him more

second, he subtly asks you about it

and maybe be slightly manipulative

is it an uncomfortable subject?

oh, but look at all those prizes

you’re so smart, how could something like this make you uncomfortable?

you should be proud of yourself because he certainly is

did someone do or say something?

yeah, the interrogation continues and he’ll find out in the end

but no matter what the reason for you being uncomfortable is, Chrollo will understand

and it will stay between the two of you if you want that

though he will be very proud of you because he knows you’re amazing already

and the fact that someone as amazing as you is his partner honestly makes him want to spoil and praise you even more which he will do

Hisoka

snooping around

Hisoka was probably bored when you were out shopping one day

and he just happened to have nothing to do that day

he’d already built house cards

played with the cards and practiced his magic tricks

but now he was bored

there was nothing on TV

and nothing is sacred when it comes to Hisoka

he’s always curious about you anyway

that’s how he finds photos, books, papers and post-it notes

and then, somewhere in the back, away from everything else, a box full of trophies and medals

jackpot

he looks at each one briefly, reading what they were for before setting them aside

he did this with all of them until the box was empty

you had amassed quite the number of prizes

a lot of competitions, contests and you were keeping the result in a box?

somewhere dark and hidden?

why?

Hisoka could see nothing wrong with being proud of your achievements

he certainly felt a spike in pride on your behalf

after he put everything back, he sat down on the couch, finally finding something to watch while he waited for you to return

Hisoka acted like he normally did throughout dinner and the evening

the only difference was the glances he’d occasionally throw at you

and then he just dropped the question

whether he couldn’t wait anymore or he just wanted to shock you with the sudden subject, you didn’t know

but it was enough to make you stare at him

on one hand, you were angry at him for looking through your things

on the other hand, you were apprehensive about telling him the reason

but you knew that Hisoka was persistent and would keep asking you until you gave him an answer

plus, nothing you’d want to hide could be worse than any of his secrets, right?

Illumi

he’d noticed the box in the corner of your bedroom, almost obscured by other things

every time he came to your place, whether for only a few hours or a few days

and his curiosity got the best of him when he saw a glint coming from it when the light hit that side of the room at just the right angle

Illumi didn’t expect to find a bunch of trophies and medals pretty much spilling out of the box

and the more he looked through them, the more confused he was

all of them were yours

and they were for you getting first place in various competitions

looking around your room, he saw that there was plenty of space where you could’ve put them

maybe not all of them, but at least a few

but there was not even one on any of your shelves

there didn’t seem to be any problem with any of them – scratches, signs of them being broken or dropped

he just couldn’t understand

of course Illumi asked you about this when you came looking for him and found him in the bedroom

you would’ve loved to actually scold him for going through your things

especially something that was pretty much hidden for a reason

but when Illumi kept staring at you, waiting for an answer to his question

pretty much everything left your mind, rendering it blank

when you told him that you couldn’t tell him, it was followed by a why

and what could you do?

it was either tell him

or resist and tell him nothing for a bit longer

with the curiosity brimming in him, it wouldn’t be long until you told him eventually

and with how he would sometimes stare – maybe unknowingly, maybe not – trying to think of reasons why you’d hide your achievements

yeah, you’d better give up quickly and save yourself from constantly feeling flustered

Illumi mostly wants to satisfy his curiosity

he’s already proud of you

but he wants to know why you’d want this part of you to be kept hidden

[kpop-cakepops]

Hello, Meant To Be Anon here! I see your requests are open. A pretty big situation going on with my job that's going to leave a lot of people upset and I just am going to need all of the positive vibes I can get. Could I request something fluffy with Wonwoo? Maybe a Snuggle Donation where he cheers up the reader after a bad day? No rush or anything, whenever you have time to get around to it. Thanks!

Hi Anon. I'm really sorry to hear about your job. Know that everything will be okay! You've got this! Here is your request, hope Wonwoo can cheer you up 😉❤ Enjoy and have a good week!!! (I didn't properly proofread this, so please excuse any mistakes!!)

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,808

Snuggle Donation: Move In// JeonWonwooxFem!Reader

"Just go home, I'll have Mingyu run the launch."

Y/N watched as her boss walked out of her office with a disappointed frown on his face. After making 5 consecutive mistakes, she was finally being sent home.

It had all started that morning when her landlord came to her door to inform her that he'd be selling the building that Y/N and many other tenants called home. It had sent her mind in a downward spiral all day. She had only 2 weeks to look for a new home and on top of that she had a big campaign launch to run at work that she did not have the mind for... hence why she was being sent home.

"Are you okay?" asked her colleague and friend Mingyu as he entered her office to pick up the plan for the new launch.

"I'm great. Just dandy" she grumbled as she grabbed her purse and keys from her desk. "Are you done? I need to get home" Y/N hadn't meant to sound rude, but if she wasn't out of the office in the next 2 minutes, she was sure she'd break down.

Mingyu gave her a soft understanding smile and ruffled her hair before stepping out of her office and walking over to their break room. The tall man slipped his phone out and dialed the only number he knew would be of help for Y/N.

"What?"

"Yes, hello to you too. Did you and Y/N fight?" he asked.

Wonwoo, who had been playing games instantly stopped what he was doing and grabbed his phone taking it off speaker and putting it to his ear. "No, why? Did she say she was mad at me?"

"No. She's just been off today. Seungcheol kicked her off the campaign launch today. She looked about ready to cry." Mingyu shared as he stirred himself a cup of coffee.

"Something must've happened... don't worry about it. I'll give her a call." With that Wonwoo hung up the phone and dialed his best friend's number, however, after one ring he was instantly directed to voicemail. He had known she wouldn't answer his call, Y/N usually liked her space, but his calls always served as a little reminder that he'd be waiting for her and she could go to him as soon as she was ready to talk.

Back at her small apartment, Y/N wasn't ready yet. Her belongings were glaring at her from the places they'd held for years as she sat on her bed. A million and one thoughts were running through her mind. She had nowhere to go, she had finally saved enough to put in a deposit for the business she was planning to start, and now she had 2 weeks to figure what was going to happen with her life. The problem was starting to weigh down on her little by little.

It was after half an hour that the weight of her issues was too much to bear alone. Her hand reached out for her phone and she dialed her best friend's number.

"Hey you"

"Can you come over?" Y/N asked with an arm draped over her eyes, it seemed like that was the only thing holding her tears in.

"I'm outside... I'll be up in a second, yeah?"

"Yeah" she answered forcing herself to stand from her bed and change into comfortable clothes. Comfortable clothes being the ratty old sweatshirt Wonwoo had left behind 2 years prior and a pair of sweatpants she'd used to paint her bathroom when she'd just moved in. By the time she was done changing, she could hear Wonwoo punching the code into her front door. The sound of plastic bags reaching her in her room.

"Y/N?" he called out.

The young woman stepped out of her room with a sigh, her feet stopping right outside the bedroom door. Wonwoo was watching her closely and carefully from his spot and in a matter of seconds opened his arms up for her. Y/n's feet rushed her up to her tall friend and she buried her face into his chest. The weight that had been weighing down on her seemed to lift and the tears she'd been holding back were now being soaked up by her friend's black t-shirt.

"Do I have to kick someone's ass? I don't know where Seungcheol lives, but I can find out." he joked trying to lighten up the mood.

Y/n sniffled lightly. "I'm so tired" she mumbled, her voice muffled by his chest. "How long is this going to go on?"

Wonwoo's arms wrapped around her tightly. "Tired? Last I heard you got to leave work early today" he said jokingly, his words testing the waters to see if she'd tell him what was bothering her so much.

The girl pulled away from Wonwoo enough to see his face and gave him an unamused look. "Can you not? I'm literally about to be homeless"

Wonwoo was rendered silent. He didn't know you'd been going through money problems. "What? Why didn't you tell me? I would have lent you money"

With yet another sigh, Y/N walked over to the bags he'd brought over knowing they'd be full of her favorite snacks. Wonwoo never failed her. "It's not that. My landlord is selling the building and gave us a 2-week ultimatum to move out." She told him. "Not only that but I don't have enough money to put down a deposit for a new apartment on such short notice... I think I'm going to have to pull the deposit on the photography studio... I just-"

Wonwoo felt a slight sense of panic as soon as he saw Y/N starting to get emotional again. If there was one thing to know about Y/N it was that she was smart, creative, and hard-working... but she was also a perfectionist, a very emotional one at that.

"I'll lend you the money, you don't have to worry" he assured her, but he already knew what her answer would be.

"Are you crazy? You know how hard it is to find a decent apartment in the city. Deposits are so expensive one would think you're buying the apartment"

She wasn't wrong, things were ridiculously expensive in the city, but knowing how important her new business was, he didn't want Y/N to have to give it up yet again. "Then move in with me" he blurted.

Y/N dropped the bag of chips in her hands as soon she heard his suggestion. "What?"

Wonwoo was embarrassed. In any other case, two best friends wouldn't be embarrassed to live together, but they weren't any other case. Wonwoo liked his best friend, he like liked her. "M-move in with me. I mean, you need a place to live, places in the city are expensive, Dokyeom is also moving out"

well now he is

"Plus, the last thing I want is for you to have to postpone the opening of your photography studio. You've worked too hard, and as your best friend, I will not allow it."

Y/N felt a large wave of emotions crashing into her. With a slow shake of her head, she picked up the bag of chips she'd dropped. "I don't know Woo... would that really be okay?"

"Of course it'd be okay! You're my best friend. Best friends can live together... I'm not that bad of a roommate" he grinned.

Y/N chuckled and grabbed more snacks before making her way over to her small living room and plopping down on her couch. "You realize how big of a change that will be, right? You'd be living with a girl."

Wonwoo nodded hurriedly, "I'm not a kid, of course I get it"

"Well then... I guess it wouldn't be a bad idea, at least until I find somewhere else to live."

Wonwoo followed her and dropped on the empty spot beside her. His weight shifting over onto her. "Or you could just be my roommate until the end of my lease" he offered.

"God, you're heavy" she groaned as she pushed him off her only to have him lay his head on her lap. "That would be a horrible idea"

Wonwoo smiled up at his friend, his brows wiggling playfully, "what are you saying?! of course it wouldn't. You get to have the handsomest roommate in the world. Why would that be a bad idea?"

With a roll of her eyes, Y/N stuffed Wonwoo's mouth with chips and shook her head, "wow, suddenly I want to stay homeless" she joked, a small smile coming to her face.

"Hey, you smiled though. That's good right?" He thoughtlessly munched on his chips and grabbed Y/N's hand, placing it on his head.

"Only because I have the most handsome best friend and soon-to-be temporary roommate" she replied, her free hand combing through his hair.

Wonwoo smiled, the fact that she was willing to allow him to help her with such a big issue made him feel like maybe a part of her also needed him as much as he did her. "So I'm assuming that's a yes to coming home with me?"

"If you're willing to make a little space for me, then I'll gladly move in with you."

"Okay. We can pack up a bag and you can come with me tonight. I'll ask for the day off tomorrow and I'll come to help you pack up and start the move!" Wonwoo said excitedly causing the girl's tummy to do a little flip at how excited he sounded.

"Calm down, we have two weeks to get everything done. Plus, we still have to run it by your landlord." Y/N told him.

"My landlord will be fine with it. He already thinks you live with me since you always come over." He assured, his eyes glimmered as he stood up.

Y/N laughed and grabbed his hand tugging him back to sit beside her. "Hey, you came to make me feel better you gotta feed me and finish the movie with me"

"Oh! Right! After the movie we can pack though, right?" he asked.

"Of course! We can also call the most handsome best friend and soon-to-be temporary roommate to come and help us pack" the girl said popping a chip into her mouth. Wonwoo looked over at her in confusion. "What? Did you think I was gonna let you kick out Dokyeom? Nice try idiot."

Wonwoo groaned and let his body drop over her lap again, "You won't let a single thing slip by, will you?"

With yet another eye-roll she stuffed his mouth with the chips in her hands. "Hush, we're gonna finish the scary movie we didn't finish last time."

"Goddamn it, Y/N. Not again."

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Fun little announcement today:

@pi-creates​ and I started a new discord server together called [the writer’s guild]. 

What does that mean? Well, lemme tell you a story.

Yesterday wasn’t a good day for me. It was one of those days where I woke up at 5am and laid in bed for a few hours like "what am I doing with my life...? ....Alexa, play 'so no one told you life was gonna be this waaaaay clap clap clap clap clap-'” 

I pretty much had a mini morning life crisis where I was thinking about when I was in school, my new job and how exhausted it’s left me, all the effort I put into my blog and the fandom, how my dreams of becoming a writer who creates original content is slowly going down the drain as if I'm an eighty-year-old woman on the verge of death and not a dingus in my early twenties, how if I put that effort into my original writing I could maybe do something worthwhile, how I should go back to school but to do what? ....and many more things.

Y’know... all the good stuff. 

So Pi and I were chattin’ like we do, talking about all of this and the skybound xpo. As we’re doing so, my roommates gives the suggestion of making a discord for original writing. If I’m serious about wanting to get back into writing original stories and not just fanfics, something like that would help, that sorta deal. 

I looked at her and was like “pssshhh,” because even though I have my TWDG server, I don’t know anything about discord or creating servers, so that’s dumb. It would never work. Too hard. 

Except then I brought it up with Pi, one thing led to another, and now we have this server...... so it was me who was dumb all along. 

We took inspiration from TES: Oblivion when naming it [the writer’s guild]. In that game, there are factions you can join like the fighter’s guild, or the mage’s guild... so I thought it’d be fun to have a writer’s guild. 

But this server isn’t just for writers. We’re welcoming anyone to join, whether you’re an artist wanting to share your original art, a writer who wants help with fanfics and/or original stories, someone willing to edit or beta read stories for writers, or you just wanna offer your moral support and hang out with us, see what we’re making and enjoy new content. 

“Great, where’s the link to join?”

Great question, here’s the part where I tell you another story. 

If you wanna join then you have to send me or Pi a DM on here requesting to join. 

I won’t be posting any links for just anyone to click. The reason we’re doing this is because of an incident we had in our TWDG server.

What happened was when we created that and invited anyone to join, a certain person joined us and they never interacted with chat. They never introduced themselves, they never appeared online. Didn’t think much of it, so it’s fine. 

However, this was around the time where I was getting flooded with lots of shitty anon asks whenever I so much as mentioned Violet in any of my posts. This went on a long time until one day that person suddenly appeared online in our server. 

I was talking to everyone about these asks I was getting..... but then I started getting asks that were pretty much responding to everything I was saying in the discord chat. This time they were upset with me over a joke I made about Violet because what else, it’s always about Violet. 

They were demanding to know my sexuality [something I have NEVER shared on Tumblr before and yet, they somehow happened to know I’m bisexual in the next ask just as I came out to the discord chat] so that they could use it to justify calling me lesbophobic and all these other things. 

Well, then Pi messaged this person since we were all suspecting them, and suddenly they were offline and the asks stopped, and they were eventually kicked. We haven’t had any issues since. 

No, we don’t have concrete proof that it was 100% them doing all of this but like.... quite a lot of coincidences, don’t ya think?

It was a bizarre thing for all of us, so maybe you understand why I’m a little hesitant to throw a link out there for everyone now, even though that happened a while ago. Pi and I decided this was the best way to do it so we could keep track of everyone joining just in case. 

We don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable in [the writer’s guild], we want you to feel like this is a safe space to share your ideas, help and support others, and grow as a creator. All we ask is that you follow the rules we have in place.

“Wait does this mean you’re stopping your twdg content?”

Nope! I’ll still be here running this blog, answering asks and making other posts related to twdg. I’m just also at a point where I want to put some of my focus on to creating original content and writing my own stories with characters I create. That doesn’t mean I’m never going to write another fanfic again, or that I’m abandoning the blog, so don’t worry! :D

And yeah.... I think that’s it. Feel free to ask any questions you might have, we’ll probably have answers hahaha

[uwuwriting]

Tsukishima and Ushijima  falling for their childhood friend.

Request: Hi I saw that your requests are open so I dropped by. Um for Haikyuu boys Tsukki and Ushifalling in love with their childhood best friend?? Thank you and YAY you’re growinggg!!!!- anonymous. 

You have chosen the best trope ever anon!! Way to go!! I love this scenario and wish it would happen to me like legit. Small sidetrack, if anyone is willing to hear me rant about the last of us part 2 plz don’t hesitate to message me, no one understands my suffering. Love yaa. 💖💖💖

rules

warnings: fluff and maybe some angst

Tsukishima Kei

-You moved next to the Tsukishimas when you were 6. 

-You weren’t the most social bean at that age so your mom had t give you a slight push to make friends.

-That’s why she would always invite people over with kids around your age so you could play. 

-Once you moved things didn’t really change. 

-She invited the Tsukishimas over and you got to know their kids. 

-Akiteru was intimidating to you.

-He was so open and talkative it made you anxious. 

-Kei on the other hand was more calm, always giving you enough space so you could approach him when YOU wanted and he would invite you over to play with his dinosaurs in silence. 

-Like complete silence. 

-His mother always wondered if you two were alive. 

-You were inseparable though. 

-It was the first time in you whole life that you clicked with someone so easily and could actually interact.

-Kei, being the salty bitch that he is, pushed you out of your comfort zone once you began school. 

-He would help you in class with refusing to ask a question for you or he would make you order your own lunch in the school’s cafeteria. 

-You still had trouble talking to other kids though and Tsukki didn’t mind. 

-He was okay with having you stick around and may have been slightly terrified at the idea of losing the only friend he had. 

-He would never admit that though.

-The first time you talked on your own accord to some of your classmates was when you saw three boys mocking another one who was laying on the ground. 

-He was trying to grab his backpack from the taller boy. 

-You looked at Kei and he just continued walking sparring only a glance at the commotion. 

-You couldn’t just let them pick on the boy though. 

-You used to be picked on and Kei would always scare them off and so you puffed out your chest and marched over to the boys.

- “Hey! Leave him alone!!” 

-You were surprised at your own voice but kept your ground as the three boys glared at you.

- “Isn’t that the girl that doesn’t talk?”

- “Yeah I heard she’s mute!!!”

-All of them snickered and pushed the other boy to the ground again. 

-He was looking at you with wide eyes as the bullies made their way to you.  

- “What do you want mute?”

-Your knees started to feel weak as your fear set in and the words you wanted to say caught in your throat. 

-Your mind was screaming at you to call for Tsukki but you couldn’t turn your head around. 

-Every single part of your body was frozen. 

-The bullies kept laughing and making fun of you as you backed away when you back hit something warm but steady.

-Looking up you were met by none other than Kei himself. 

-He told them off with his snarky comments and helped you calm down.

-Then grabbing your hand he started walking not glancing at the other boy. 

-Years passed and now all of you are friends. 

-A dynamic trio.

-Everything was going great.

 -You were all into volleyball, practicing together both in school and out. 

-Kei would no longer take you to his room and play with dinos. 

-You two would go on for hours on end playing volleyball in his back yard, until his brother got home and he would be infatuated by his brother’s practice stories. 

-He really looked up to him. 

-Then the fateful game happened. 

-Kei’s image of his brother was shattered. 

-And so was the boy you met all those years ago. 

-He didn’t particularly push you away he was just more distant. 

-He had raised so many walls to protect himself he had become cold. 

-But you didn’t leave and neither did Yamaguchi. 

-You remained friends all the way to high school. 

-Being part of the volleyball club was a must for the two and you told them that you were there to support them.

-When Kiyoko came to you and Yachi for the manager positions you immediately accepted, excited to spend more time with you boys. 

-During the practice camp in Tokyo, you overheard his argument with Yamaguchi and were disappointed in him. 

-How could he be so cold towards his best friend when all he was trying to do was help? 

-You went to talk to him too but ended up fighting and it was pretty bad. 

-He was angry you would see that more angry than you expected but you thought that it would be different if you talked to him. 

-You had been there for everything after all. 

- “Kei you can trust me, I’ve bee by your side since forever. I know YOU.”

- “You don’t know shit Y/N so why don’t you go back with the others? Aren’t you a manager or something? Do your damn job and leave me alone!”

-You were stunned at that, not believing what had come out of his mouth.

-You obliged though and without another word you left. 

-You two weren’t on speaking terms for weeks. 

-It had gotten to the point that you wouldn’t hang out with the two boys during lunch.

-As time passed you would greet each other but nothing else. 

-That is until the match with Ushijima happened. 

-You were up in the stands with Yachi when Tsukki tried to block the ball.

-He doubled in on himself,clutching his hand and you had never ran faster in your life.

-He was taken out of the court when you reached him and coach Ukai gave you the okay to take him to the back to patch up. 

-You sat in silence in front of him as you wrapped his fingers with the gauze. 

-His head was hanging low and you could see his shoulders tremble as he breathed. 

-When you were done, you placed your palms on each cheek and lifted his head. 

- “You’re going to go out there and you’re going to show him what you are made of. You will show him what Tsukishima Kei is capable off. Okay?”

-He looked at you with wide eyes before nodding and placing his own hand over yours. 

-With a shy smile you went to get up but he pulled you into him, crashing his lips with yours. 

-The kiss was too short for your liking as you were being rushed due to the game but he put all his feeling into it and you reciprocated with as much passion as him. 

- “I missed you, let’s not fight again.�� 

- “I’ll consider it after the match, no go kick some ass.” 

-Tsukki’s blocks were three times more accurate than before and then it happened. 

-He blocked Ushijima’s spike successfully.

-The scream he let out shook you to the core and when his eyes scanned the stands, landing on you, you knew how happy he was. 

-Post victory celebrations have never been sweeter. 

Ushijima Wakatoshi

-He met you because of Tendou. 

-Um you were a Tendou yourself after all. 

-When he met Satori he didn’t believe him when he said that he had a twin. 

-He assumed that it was just some of Sato’s weird shit. 

-Satori would go on and on about his twin telling him how cool and smart she was and how he couldn’t wait for her to come and join them in Shiritorizawa. 

-Again Ushiwake didn’t really believe him. 

-That is until one day, a month after school started, he met her. 

-He and Satori were jogging when they heard a high pitched squeal followed by a SATORIIIIIII. 

-Next thing he knew Satori was no longer next to him but laying face first on the ground with another person on top of him. 

- “Y/N- chaaaan you’re suffocating me!!!!!”

-The girl got off him and pulled him to his feet only to crush him in a hug. 

-Ushijima never thought he would meet anyone more hyper than Satori. 

-Well he was wrong. 

-Satori’s sister was a replica of him. 

-Almost the same red hair only hers had some H/C highlights in them while they had different colored eyes, while Sato’s were red Y/N’s were E/C. 

- “Hi, I’m Tendou Y/N! You must be Ushijima, Satori has told me so much about you.”

-After that the three of you became a package. 

-Someone was looking for Tendou? 

-Look for Ushijima he’s with him. 

-Looking for Y/N? 

-Follow the loud noises, it’s probably her brother and she’s with him.

-Trying to find Ushijima? 

-Just track down Y/N he’s with her. 

-Even teachers would follow that strategy. 

-Ushijima was the first who caught feelings even though he didn’t know he caught em.

-It was your last year of middle school and you were sad. 

- “But aren’t you sad that we’re saying goodbye to middle school Ushi-kun????”

- “You can see the middle school building from the high school dorms, Y/N.....”

- “Yeah but still it’s saaaaaad!!!!!”

-You had been whining since you left school grounds for the last volleyball match of the year. 

-Both the male and the female teams were to compete in the same gymnasium so you decided to walk with you boys rather than your team. 

-You were the team’s libero mainly due to your energy and the fact that you were the smallest person in the team. 

- “I know Y/N-chan i’m gonna miss it tooo!!!”

-Ushijima couldn’t always understand what you two were going on about. 

-He guessed it was a twins thing. 

-Weird twin communication or something. 

-But as much as he wanted to make himself shut your whines out, he couldn’t.

-Lifting his hand he placed it on your head and ruffled your hair. 

- “Just imagine the high school dorms. I think the female dorms our closer to ours now.” 

-After the mini heart attack from his previous action, a smile started to form on your face.

-So big and bright that you could compete with Hinata for the title of sunshine. 

-Tendou started laughing and you thought he was laughing at your smile. 

-But no.

-satori was laughing at Ushijima’s blush that grew darker as you giggled at your brother’s antics.

-High school was a blast. 

-You and Satori would always drag Ushijima into your shenanigans and he would always let you. 

-The man is weak for your puppy dog eyes.

-It was now your last year in Shiritorizawa and you were sad again. 

-So sad that you weren’t focused enough during practice. 

-You were called to practice your receives and you were in position.

-You looked so in the moment so ready. 

-But you were far from that. 

-Your mind was again on him.

-Ushijima. 

-You knew that the one thing you would miss most from your school was your best friend. 

-You didn’t really care about your brother because well he was your brother but Ushijima....he was a painful subject. 

-Head in the clouds you didn’t receive the ball correctly and because of the force of the spike you lost your balance spraining your ankle in the process. 

-The coach rushed to you, calling out to the rest of the team to get an ice pack and a bottle of water. 

-She tried to pull you to your feet but your ankle prevented you. 

- “It doesn’t look broken but its a nasty sprain. We need to get you to the nurse’s office.”

-Ushijima and Tendou were making their way to their own gym for practice when they saw the girls running around in a semi panicked state. 

-One of them spotted the two boys and called out to the, telling them what happened *mainly because Tendou was your brother and they felt like he needed to know*.

-Instead of Tendou, Ushijima was the one who reached the gym first and was met with you on the floor a pained expression on your face. 

-Your coach motioned him over and your face lit up for a split second. 

- “Could you take her to the nurse? None of the girls can carry her and she can’t really walk.”

-Without uttering a word he knelt down and picked you up bride style and just left the gym. 

-He told Tendou to wait for him in the gym and that he would be right back. 

-Tendou being cupid himself who had seen one too many romance films, let his best friend take his crush to the nurse thanking the universe for making you so dumb. 

- “I’m sorry for this Ushi-kun I wasn’t paying attention.”

- “I’ve seen that during school hours as well. What’s wrong?”

-You hesitated at that. 

-Should you tell him?

-Should you tell him that you are afraid of missing him?

-That you are afraid of losing him?

-Ushijima’s own thoughts were running wild mainly due to the fact of your close proximity and how he could just dip his head and kiss you.

- “High school is over and and ...”

-Tears ran down your cheeks taking Ushijima by surprise. 

-He didn’t expect you to be this sad about it and before he knew it he was whipping  away your tears.

-He looked at you waiting for the rest of the sentence. 

-Mustering all of your courage you went for it. 

- “I don’t want to lose you...”

- “You’re not going to lose me we will keep in touch, you mean to much to me after all. I can’t just forget you.”

-He smiled at you as more tears  ran down your cheeks and you wrapped your arms around his neck. 

-He tightened his grip around you and buried his face in your hair. 

-There was one thing in both of your brains. 

- “I want to be more than friends.”

-You sealed that with a kiss. 

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[lumosandnoxwriting]

Let Me Save You - Sirius Black

Title: Let Me Save You Pairing: Sirius x Fem!Reader Summary: Y/N will do whatever it takes to save the ones she loves, even if it means joining the dark side. A/N: for the anon who wanted Sirius helping his girlfriend after she takes the dark mark! This is the first time I’ve written a full imagine for Sirius, so I hope it’s okay!! Feedback is always welcome!!! Tags: @feltondarling​ @pandaxnienke​ @raerae27​

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Sirius’ first thought when he boards the Hogwarts Express with James after the Christmas holiday is Y/N. They’ve only been apart two weeks, but for him it feels like an eternity. It doesn’t help that most of his letters went unanswered, and when she did write her letters were short and uneventful.

Sirius and James race each other to their usual compartment, shoving each other as they run. James just barely cuts in front of Sirius as they reach the door and he grins up at his friend as he plops down next to Lily, slightly out of breath.

“Better luck next time, Pads,” James teases, throwing an arm around Lily.

Sirius flips James off as he collapses on the bench across from them. He looks around the compartment, frowning when he doesn’t spot Y/N. Marlene is seated between Lily and Wormtail, and Mooney is sitting a few spaces away from Sirius, dead asleep with his head leaning against the window. “Where’s Y/N?”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Lily responds leaning into James’ side. “I figured she was with you guys.”

“You don’t think she’s not coming back, do you?” Marlene asks, a worried look on her face.

James rolls his eyes. “Why do you always have to be so dramatic, Mar? Maybe she’s in the loo or got caught up talking to someone. I’m sure she’ll be here any minute.”

Marlene reaches behind Lily to smack James upside the head. “Shove it, Potter. I’m being serious.” Marlene leans in and drops her voice to a whisper. “We all know what her family is like. Things with the war have only been getting worse. Maybe they’re not letting her come back.”

“I hate to admit it but what if Marlene is right?” Lily asks, her face contorting into the same worried look that’s on Marlene’s. “She didn’t return any of the letters I sent over break, and Remus said he didn’t hear from her either.”

James nudges Sirius’ leg with his foot. “You wrote to her a bunch, Pads. You get anything back?”

Sirius nods lamely. “One or two letters, if you could even call them that. She didn’t say much in either of them. Mainly just bullshit pleasantries.” Sirius runs his hand through his hair and closes his eyes, leaning back into his seat.

He’s known Y/N since he was a little boy, her family is part of the Sacred 28 as well, and their parents have been friends since they were kids. Even though they spent quite a bit of time together growing up, Sirius and Y/N only truly became friends when they both started at Hogwarts. Like him, she was the first in her family to be sorted into Gryffindor and they quickly bonded over being the family disappointment. They started dating just before the beginning of their 5th year, and now halfway through 7th year Sirius is sure that Y/N is going to be the woman he marries.

“She seemed fine on the train ride home at the end of term last year,” Wormtail adds. “Something must have happened during the break.”

Sirius’ eyes snap open as the train starts to move. “I can’t just sit here. I’m gonna go see if I can find her.”

Before anyone can stop him Sirius is out of the compartment, frantically heading down the hall.

-

“Where the hell were you?” Sirius asks as he engulfs Y/N in a hug. They’ve all just stumbled into the Great Hall worried about their missing friend, only to find her already sitting at the Gryffindor table.

Y/N returns Sirius’ hug lamely before pulling him down beside her. “Sorry, love. I got to the train late so I just sat in the first compartment I could find.”

Sirius watches her for a few moments as his arm winds around her waist. He can tell that she’s lying, but he’s not sure exactly why. Wormtail was right on the train, she’d been acting fine all term, and had been joking around with Sirius and everyone else on the train back to Kings Cross. Something must have happened at home, that’s the only way to explain her distant behavior. Y/N had cut herself off from all of them over the break, and even now as she talks with Lily Sirius can see that her smile isn’t genuine, and there’s no light behind her eyes.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sirius whispers in her ear when Lily turns her attention towards something Remus has said.

“Nothing, Sirius. I’m fine,” Y/N responds, trying to sound genuine. But in reality, she’s dying on the inside.

Spending time at home with her family is mentally and emotionally draining, and after the events that went down over Christmas Y/N just doesn’t feel like herself anymore. But she has to put on a fake smile, for her sake and her friends. They can’t know what really happened over the break, and if she wants to keep them safe she has no choice but to start slowly pulling away from those she loves most, Sirius included.

It’s no secret to anybody, especially her friends, that Y/N’s family are willing to do anything to keep their money and their power. Even though she’s well and truly the black sheep of the family, they expect the same things out of her. There’s a war brewing in the Wizarding World, and up until Christmas break Y/N and her family had been on opposite sides of it. But Y/N would do anything to protect the people she loves, and so on Christmas Eve Y/N stood in the middle of her family’s living room and took the Dark Mark.

The Mark burns with pain every time she thinks about it, but Y/N knows she deserves it. Whether she truly believes in Voldemort’s mission or not, she’s now one of his slaves. She’d done it to protect her younger brother, who was supposed to be the one taking the Mark. But he’s barely 15, and Y/N couldn’t stand there and watch her parents ruin his life. She also did it to protect Lily, her sweet Muggleborn best friend who was already on Voldemort’s radar as a target. And she did it to protect Sirius, who had already been cast from his home and no longer afforded the same protections from Voldemort’s torture as the rest of the Black family.

If taking the Dark Mark is what it takes to save her friends’ lives, then she’d do it over and over again.

“If you’re sure,” Sirius murmurs, before pulling Y/N into a deep kiss. She’s his whole entire world, and he’s willing to wait for her to be ready to open up to him. “I love you. You know that, right?”

Y/N nods and lets her hands tangle in his hair for a brief moment. “Of course, Sirius. I love you too. More than you’ll ever know.”

-

It starts off slowly. Y/N knows the only way to truly keep all of her friends safe is to keep her distance. But just immediately cutting them off would be too obvious. So she starts by heading to breakfast early, so by the time all of her friends are awake and heading to the Great Hall, she’s already on her way to the first lesson of the day. The first few times Sirius questions her, since normally Y/N likes to sleep in until the last possible second. But she brushed his concerns away, simply stating that she never gets to sleep in at home, and she’s gotten used to rising early. Everyone seems a little confused, but they accept her explanation anyway.

Next she moves her seat in all of her classes, so she’s no longer sitting by her friends. They don’t all have every class together, so it takes them all a while to figure it out. Lily confronts Y/N about it during lunch after Potions, when she’d completely ignored Lily and sat next to Severus of all people. Again, Y/N had tried to brush off their concerns casually. Her parents had gotten on her about her grades during break and sitting with her friends would only distract her.

Then she stops hanging out in the common room. Whenever there’s downtime everyone is usually piled up in front of the fire, messing around or playing games. But Y/N is always absent. She either hides away in her dorm room with a book or is in a dark corner of the library doing schoolwork. The first half dozen times it happens one of her friends always seeks her out, usually Sirius or Lily, and they try and coax her back to the common room. But she always denies their offer, either blaming it on her large amount of schoolwork to prep for NEWTS or feigning some kind of illness. Eventually they stop trying, no matter how much it pains them to do so.

The final straw is when Y/N stops sitting with her friends at all. They come down for dinner one night and find that she’s not sitting at their usual spot at the Gryffindor table. Instead she’s at the far end of the table, sandwiched between a group of first years and a group of fourth years. No matter how hard they try no one can get her to come sit with them, even Sirius’ best puppy dog eyes, which can make even Lily melt.

“So, what are we going to do about her?” Remus asks one night over dinner. Y/N has just left the Great Hall, walking by them without even sparring any one a glance.

“She’s being a proper bitch, I don’t know why we need to do anything. She doesn’t want us to be friends with her anymore? Fuck her then,” Marlene sneers, clearly using anger to cover up the hurt she’s feeling.

Lily throws her arm around Marlene’s shoulder, pulling her in tightly. “It’s okay, Mar. I miss her too.” She turns to Sirius then. “Got any ideas?”

Sirius shrugs. “She doesn’t even look at me anymore. Not sitting with us in class or choosing not to hang out with us is one thing, but the silent treatment? It’s killing me. Something must have happened during break and she won’t talk about it.”

“Have you talked to your brother lately?” James asks suddenly.

“Regulus? No, why?” Sirius asks, his tone lit with confusion.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’ve seen him and Y/N talking in the halls a few times while doing Head Boy stuff after curfew. Snivellous was there once or twice too. Seemed like they were talking about something serious, and once they’d spot me they’d all run off.”

Sirius frowns. “So she can talk to that greaseball and my brother but not talk to me?”

Remus sighs. “I think this is far worse than any of us have imagined.” When everyone turns to look at him he continues. “We know Snape has a pension for Dark Arts, and it’s likely that Sirius’ family has aligned themselves with You-Know-Who, right? Well who’s family is close friends with the most ancient and noble house of Black?” He lets the question hang in the air for a moment, but no one has to answer, they all know who it is. “Sirius, you suspected that your parents had made Regulus take the Dark Mark over the summer, after you ran away. What do you think are the odds that Y/N’s family have forced her to take it as well?”

Lily gasps and covers her mouth with her hand. “That makes sense. As much as I hate to admit it, it makes sense. I mean of all the people to sit next to in Potions she sat next to Snape. That never made sense to me, she knows how vile he is, the vile things he’s said about me. But I’d bet all the money in the world that Snape has taken the Mark as well and that’s why she’s talking to him and Regulus.”

“Alright, that’s it,” Sirius says, standing up. “I can’t just sit here and theorize about what might be happening. I’m going to go find Y/N and make her talk to me. Whether she’s taken the Dark Mark or not, something is wrong, and I can’t just watch her suffer.”

-

When the door to the dorm creeps open, Y/N figures it’s Alice or Mary coming to grab something quickly. Lily and Marlene stopped checking up on her ages ago. So she’s surprised when Sirius walks into their dorm. He looks like a mixture of concerned and angry, and it makes Y/N’s chest aches.

“What?” she asks coldly, turning her attention back to her book.

Sirius doesn’t say anything at first, choosing to watch Y/N as he comes over and sits on the edge of her bed. “We need to talk.”

“Didn’t you get the hint? I don’t want to talk to you.” Y/N hates having to be like this with Sirius. He’s always been the person she trusted most in this world, but now she has to let him go. As painful as it is for the both of them.

Sirius crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t care about what you want. You’re in pain, Y/N. And you can’t lie your way out of it. I know you too well. I can see it in your eyes. Please just stop pushing me away so I can help you.”

Y/N slams her book shut and puts it down on the bed. “It’s too late for you to help me, okay? So just give it a rest. It’s in everyone’s best interest to just stop thinking about me and stop caring about me, okay?”

Sirius watches Y/N storm towards the door and he reaches out, grabbing her forearm. She immediately winces and tears her arm from his grasp. Sirius’ eyes widen and fear washes over him. “You have it, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/N responds lamely, looking down at her hands.

Sirius clears his throat. “The Dark Mark. It’s on your forearm, isn’t it?”

Y/N shakes her head and pushes past Sirius and heads back towards your bed. “You’re out of your mind, Sirius. Now just leave me alone please.”

“Not until you show me your arm, Y/N,” Sirius demands firmly. He already knows what he’ll see when she finally rolls her sleeve up, but he needs to see it. He needs to know that this is really happening.

Y/N sniffles as she turns to face Sirius. At some point she’d started crying, but she’s not entirely sure when. She rips the sleeve of her shirt up to her elbow and holds her arm out so Sirius can see the Mark on her skin. “There! Are you happy? I’m a dirty, rotten death eater. Is that enough to finally get you to leave me the fuck alone?”

“Baby,” Sirius coos, taking a step towards her. “How did this happen, please, Y/N. I love you. This doesn’t make any sense. Talk to me, please.” Sirius isn’t even sure if what he’s saying is making sense, but his mind is going too fast to string a coherent thought together. This was never supposed to happen to them. Sirius ran away from his family to avoid this fate, he let himself be disowned so he and Y/N would have a chance at a long, happy life together. And the sight of that Mark on her arm has suddenly ripped those dreams right from under him.

Y/N collapses onto her bed, holding her head in her hands. “I didn’t want it to happen. You have to believe me, Sirius. I’ve hated myself every single day since I took this fucking thing.”

Sirius sits down next to Y/N and wraps his arms around her, bringing her to his chest. “I know, baby. I know,” he soothes, starting to stroke her hair. “Let me in, please. I can’t see you hurting like this anymore.”

“They were gonna make him do it. Michael,” Y/N starts. “He’s barely even 15, I couldn’t let him. He looked so scared when they told him, like he was going to cry. I had to protect him Sirius, I couldn’t let them ruin him. So, I told them I would do it.”

Sirius leans down and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Then why not just say that to us? Y/N we all care about you. We love you. You can tell us anything. We’d never be mad. I’d never be mad.”

“Because, Sirius. This isn’t just some game or joke. I’m his slave now, I’m at his every beck and call. Being around me is dangerous, especially for you and Lily. He has information on muggleborns, Sirius. Like files and files about people. He knows pretty much everything you can about Lily. Being friends with her gives him a direct connection to her and I can’t let that happen. And you. God it would kill me if you got hurt because of me. I love you, Sirius. More than I love anything in this world.”

Sirius grabs Y/N’s face in his hands and tilts her head up so he can kiss her slowly and passionately, trying to convey every feeling he has for her through this one kiss. “Runaway with me,” he whispers when their kiss breaks.

“What?” Y/N asks, blinking up at him.

“Let’s go to Dumbledore. If anyone can help you out of this mess it’s him. He’ll be able to hide us away somewhere, until it’s safe.” Sirius hugs Y/N tightly. “I love you, Y/N. There’s no one else in the world who will ever make me feel like this. You’re the person I’m supposed to marry and have kids with. Grow old with. You’ve already saved me, now let me save you.”

Y/N kisses Sirius. “I love you too. There’s no me without you.”

Y/N lets Sirius drag her from her dorm and to Dumbledore’s office. There’s no guarantee that he’ll say yes, or that hiding will work. But with Sirius by her side, Y/N knows that everything will work out in the end.