#maybe slightly neg
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For so long I really thought Bad arguing like that was a bit for the elections but I am rapidly realizing that no he just argues like that.
#qsmp#opinions opinions#maybe slightly neg#qsmp discourse#idk it just reminds me of the worst type of stem bros#and to me it comes off as condescending expecialy when he’s talking to people who are not native English speakers#I’m just saying this to be safe#I’m probably not gonna comment on blue stuff anymore#because i cant be unbiased about bad tbh#it’s not a criticism#it’s just not for me#nova.txt
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i could never be the thing that YOU are
#own @ yuki: i could never be YOU /neg /pos /slightly jealous /disgusted /concerned /interested#should i elaborate. maybe.#maybe one day#project sekai#prsk#proseka#pjsk#colorful stage#prsk_fa#25ji nightcord de#mafuyu asahina#own#yuki#system mafuyu#plural mafuyu#i should redraw this later it looks ass but i spent too much time on it already
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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Quick traced ref study of my favourite Big Mean Queen in all her beautiful iterations.
#Brief disclaimer!#The 2012 design is traced from multiple images#and the 2025 design is traced from the teased images of the toy which I edited to have a closed mouth#I've got a lot of feelings about adaptations and remakes#both in general and specifically in regards to httyd#and maybe I'll talk about them some day#(probably after the Live Action is out and I've seen it)#but I cannot lie#I LOVE when adaptations/remakes bring their own unique takes to creature designing#seeing how different creative teams take a design and twist it to make it something new and different but still familiar is SO COOL#to be a slightly negative nancy for a moment;#I think that's why the Live Action Toothless really isn't doing it for me#he's just too similar to what we've seen before#but I'm loving the designs for all the other dragons#They feel like they mesh pretty well with the real world environments and actors#they feel cohesive amongst each other#AND they manage to walk that tightrope between being recognisable but still bringing something new and unique to the table#I can absolutely see why I lot of people don't like some (or all) of these redesigns#it's all just a matter of personal taste after all#But I really like them#anyway normal tags time#httyd#how to train your dragon#httyd:ls#how to train your dragon live spectacular#httydla#how to train your dragon live action#httyd live action#the red death#red death
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Also I couldn't really draw these past two days because my arm got a lot worse (chronic condition, I have to rest the pesky thing, so no digital art for a while :b) therefore I'm just listening to music thinking very intensely about blorbos
Can you guess this one
#💬 rory rambles#other than the blorbo it's also me#I AM going slightly mad /neg#but I'll move past it#at least I have some insanity bops to help me through it#Spotify#I can see him actually singing this one to himself. he's theatrical like that. although I'm not sure he'd admit to his own lunacy#maybe he would maybe he wouldn't. enigmatic man
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i can't even tell if i FEEL bad or if i'm just going through the motions of someone who feels bad in order to convince myself that i do
#because like. i'm probably fine. i can't imagine i'm struggling particularly worse than anyone else#i really think these are just normal mental issues. like i guess slightly low self-esteem and prob mild depression or whatever. but normal#if not better and more cope-able than normal!! than average i mean!!#like in terms of the mean negative feelings of the human population. i think i am probably experiencing far less than other people.#but also i feel like i want sympathy SO badly that i. tend to say and do things to imply to myself that things are#worse than they really are. maybe.#and all the pretending has convinced me that i'm ACTUALLY doing poorly and deserving of sympathy.#when really! i just ACT this way!!! no mental illness necessary!!!!!#don't take this too seriously. anyway. i'm feeling really dazed today. really really hazy.#hello world
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#having a totally awesome night rn lol🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#amps are all fun and games until you try to drink socially and#accidentally drink to the point of throwing up without ever feeling the least bit drunk lol#Like if I had known I was only going to get the negative side effects of alcohol and none of the benefits…#I would’ve saved a lot of money tonight that’s for sure lmao#I mean I kind of knew this was going to happen. I mean I knew my alcohol tolerance was higher than before#But at the same time I kind of assumed I’d feel… idk maybe at least slightly buzzed? Before getting to this point?#This was my first time trying to genuinely get fr drunk since before I started my little umm adventure this summer so. Learned my lesson.
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I like how I'm apparently the priest fucker mutual to a bunch of people. My taste in hot priests is so warped that the vast majority of mainstream priest fanservice content doesn't even appeal to me. For some reason
#how do I tag this????#personal#anyway off the top of my head#priest by sierra simone did nothing for me other than make me kind of squicked#the richard armtiage priest from that recent movie?? he looks alright but he's like. not that hot to me somehow#i don't even that green haired guy from nu/carnival maybe i did slightly at first but then ????#slightly negative post
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slowly but surely starting to write things i don't 30-50% hate again... nature is healing
#all it took was a new audiobook. i guess. thank u book club <3#neallopost#i have refrained from talking about this at length bc i don't want to come across as making negative value judgments abt my own works#but i've been feeling weirdbad about a lot of my writing for a minute. including most of what i've posted. slumpsville USA over here#but we are maybe slightly beginning to be so back
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Idk if they'll ever make more purgatories but if they do I hope they'll balance things out because this is truly fun to watch but sometimes i wonder if all the frustration is worth it
#qpurgatory 2#ok so slightly tilted because i just saw the percentages so maybe im not in the greatest state of mind to make this post#but I've been frustrated for one reason or another everyday since the start of the event#not blaming the admins or anyone because clearly the event was only played once and in a very different context#but there's a clear lack of communication and balancing#qpurgatory neg#i guess?
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It seems I've lost my sense of smell now
#everything also taste slightly bitter#i know that can just be sinuses#but i thought maybe i should get tested again to be safe#but the tribal clinic said they wouldn't test me again#maybe I'll try urgent care tomorrow#i know several people that had false negatives the first time or two before testing pos idk
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anyone else ever get struck with a sudden feeling of distaste or being tired of someone who you usually really like/are friends with for literally no reason whatsoever? or is that just me
#like this has been happening with various people all summer#I'll be like... the thought of this person causes negative emotions that are literally directed at nothing#it isn't anything the person has done I just. feel like I don't care and don't really want to put in the effort with whatever friend#which is really weird bc I KNOW if I DO just put in the effort and ignore that random feeling I'll have fun and enjoy myself!!#bc I DO still like my friends actually!!! I just sometimes feel like I Don't and idk why#Lu rambles#this is especially odd when it's the sound guy bc like. not only have I been massively crushing on him all summer#but he's also one of the few people I genuinely have clicked with here. like we get along. it's cool. I've been slightly in love with him#so why do I now have this weird feeling like I want nothing to do with him/don't care#actually I feel extremely ambivalent about just about everyone right now but for some reason especially him#wait maybe it's PMS actually.... the Leave Me Alone Don't Talk To Me Don't Look At Me Don't Make Me Show Up hormones have hit :/#...that would actually explain several things from the last couple days. I should start tracking it#ok sorry I'm done externally processing my emotions on Tumblr dot com. bye
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I need to figure out a cover letter for an opening at work but now I just want to think about how good of a trope friends to lovers is and not why I think I would be a great candidate for this promotion to help train new people and develop programs with my "adequate communication and public speaking skills."
#it was just a weird way to phrase that#the opening for a position at my current level#just said you need “communication and public speaking skills”#it's only the slightly higher level position that says they must be “adequate”#I think that's weird#because to me adequate is kind of a negative qualifier#it's doesn't imply you should be better than average at this#maybe that's just me though#can you tell I'm avoid this cover letter?#because I ammmmm#life at nerdy holler
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if it makes feel better joined a couple fandom communities and was very scared to find out you can't actually post from a side account but they all been pretty nice
Idk if this is another the leaving comments on art thing or the qwt thing, so I'm answering both
Thankfully, the folks until now have been super nice about me liking qwt! If you see my art account like 95% of it is them.
Even when I got an anon accusing me of being a Dranti they also said the qwt thing was fine, which I thought was hilarious
But I got like 20 followers in 3 days, so I'm a little worried.
From the me being found casually around. Well. You know how I talked to bee anon how it was fine that they were scared of my folks because they were all strangers from a community that was opposite to theirs? Okay so. Mix that basic normal feeling with the fact that I'm severely paranoid and anxious. Like I should be medicated type of anxious.
Hopefully they're nice about it, but the race horse in my brain gets a little scared. It's not a kingdom I'm very familiar with anymore
#the voices#with that in mind tho... I should start unblocking a lot of blogs#any even slightly neg mention of dream got people a block these past days#and idk. maybe I need to give them a bit more credit and space
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crazy to think that my time and ability to draw has stagnated so much that i have literally only drawn and posted one thing all year long
#slightly negative but mostly im just like. genuinely shocked#with all due respect to myself i have had one of the busiest years of my life so ive literally had no time.#and all of my art supplies have been packed away or unavailable to me for a large chunk#i wanna draw more in 2025! i hope! i have a lot of new ocs in my brain i wanna share with the world!!!!!#it also just feels weird that nobody ive befriended in the last 3 years know me as an 'art person' its like. deep lore that i maybe share#wish i could say i drew stuff that i havent posted!! but even that isnt the case#anyway. one day. ill get there#first i need to finish unpacking my apartment and build my new desk and that will hopefully motivate me!!#idk where i was going with this. i just wanna hold myself accountable with a goal ig#laura life 2kwhenever
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I feel like spiraling is always described as a quick thing but let me tell you. Girls will get afraid and slowly spiral for months I think.
#Like overall we're. Okay#Just wish I had disability getting approved soon or I find a new job or I can just somehow not be sitting in#Either the negatives or slightly above the negatives#Financially I am slowly dying and I'm not dead in the water because my beloved gf is amazing and thankfully can handle this#For at least a few months#But my long term thoughts are so uncertain#I just want to be around her and I just want us to live comfortably#I'm ever so slowly trying to crawl out of this over a year art block and that's a bit taxing mentally too#Idk I just want a bedframe that doesn't make me scared I'll fall every time I sleep or get on it#I wanna work off my fuckhuge loan debt#Its been so ungodly hard recently#I'm also thankful my dr rocks and meds have been helping with pain a good bit.#It just feels like I'm ever so slowly slipping into pretty much bed ridden territory again#Even with the meds. They help the pain a good bit (sometimes) but I still feel exhausted. And I'm getting insomniatic again#I just wanna sleep. I just wanna feel no stress for the first time. I've been stressed since fucking middle school#Or maybe even 6th grade because thats when the chronic pain started! Yayy!!!
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