#maybe she also does it to gain points in Community

[lycemagee]

Thinking about Cult!AU, Florence is a dance instructor and does also give free courses in Social and Crisis Institution for Young Teenagers and Women. The goal is so that they gain more confidence and self-efficacy.

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 1 - "It's not too late, let's go."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: G

Warnings: -

Danny frowned, his head resting on his arms as he sat in a café, staring at nothing in particular. Tucker was sitting next to him, typing away on his PDA and Sam was across from him glaring at his current state of dramatic pouting, frowning and sulking while ignoring his favorite coffee order she had especially ordered for him somehow even though the store did not even have it on their menu.

"Danny, how much longer are you going to sulk?"

"I don't know. How much longer until my next chance of ever meeting someone from outer space?"

"Danny."

"We missed the Hero Gala, Sam! That was our one and only chance!"

He looked away from her like a stubborn toddler. He knew he was being especially dramatic but his friends and him had planned this whole trip solely for meeting members of the Justice League in person. For one, to maybe meet the people that have been ignoring their cities' call for help for years now and request it personally if per call won't work and two, fulfill some of their own personal selfish desires to meet the hero's each one of them admired.

Though their trip clearly had been eventful considering how a lot of his ghost rogues tried to stop him from even leaving Amity Park, they also learned about the whole media black out surrounding Amity. Turns out, the reason the Justice League was ignoring them was entirely because they didn't even know they existed in the first place. It was a miracle that they even learned about a Hero Gala in Metropolis if it weren't for an invitation somehow making it to the Mansons Estate.

Fun fact. Even if the invitation made it to them. Once they did make it to the Gala location they learned that it had happened years ago. Well wasn't that just great, and here Danny had hoped to get some help and maybe meet Superman or better Martian Manhunter.

Slamming his head onto the table and gaining the attention of some other cafe visitors briefly. Danny only turned ever so slightly so that his cheek was squished against the cold table surface. Still refusing to look at Sam but instead watched Tucker who was by now frowning at his PDA.

"Guys, I think there is more to it than us being simple late a couple of years to a Gala." Blinking made a noise to ask him to elaborate while Sam verbally asked why.

"Things didn't add up when we first left Amity, aside from all your ghost rouges were even trying to make us stop leaving until the very last second. Look at this, this is a photocopy of our last news paper from home and this-" Tucker slit a paper across the table and pointed at a specific spot at the top of the paper so both Danny and Sam could see it clearly. "-is a news paper printed today from Metropolis."

"I don't get it." Danny honestly stated staring at the spot Tucker had pointed it. Sam proceeded to hit the back of his head lightly, apparently having seen what Tucker was pointing out to them.

"The dates are way too far apart." She stated and Danny blinked, looking back at the printed date and the date displayed in the image of Tuckers PDA. "Are you sure you didn't save up an older newspaper?"

Tucker gave him an unimpressed stare. "Look at the headline. That's the incident that happened right before we went on this trip."

"Okay but what does that mean?"

"From what it looks like. Amity Park lives in a time bubble. Our technology as well as date seems far behind from everything we saw ever since we left. Even my beloved PDA appears to be old technology here."

The tree sat in silence for a moment, mulling over what they had found out so far after leaving Amity for the first time. But now that they thought about that, Amity was a closed community. There were hardly any people coming in and out of their town. In addition the only one who had ever entered their city from the outside was Vlad and even he didn't talk much about any other cities or people he could possibly know outside of Amity.

"That's a pretty interesting topic you guys are talking about."

Startled, the three looked up to see a new face that had appeared out of nowhere and was spitting next to Sam. The boy with auburn hair and yellow eyes who looked only a bit older than them and was smiling brightly at them with a back of chips in his hands.

"So you guys lived in a time bubble? That sounds interesting, can you tell me more?"

A second later two black haired teens appeared next to the boy, one sheepish and in a punk style and the other frustrated and appearing to wear more formal clothing. The frustrated one eyed them for a moment and Danny caught his eyes, noticing the calculating look and couldn't help narrowing his own eyes on him.

"Sorry about my friend, he sometimes acts before he thinks."

"I have a friend like that too, don't worry." Tucker answered and Danny shot him a quick glare before turning his attention back to the three newcomers.

"We couldn't help but overhear what you guys were talking about. You missed your chance to go to a hero gala right?" The sheepish one said after exchanging a look with the other black haired teen and Danny couldn't help but feel like there was some silent communication going on. The same he had at times with Tucker.

"So what?" Sam huffed, not willing to talk about their woes and sharing information with strangers.

"We happened to be on our way to one that's not open to the public but we could help you get in. Granted, I would like to hear a little more about your situation and how you missed the one you originally wanted to go to." In other words, give us information and we will get you to somewhere where you can meet hero's. Danny narrowed his eyes further, there had to be more to this catch.

His distrust must have been visible as the formal clothing black haired teen let out a sigh. "Look we have experience with time shenanigans, so we might be able to get you into contact with people that can help, from Young Justice or maybe even the Justice League."

"No one just offers help like that, without getting something out of it." Sam huffed arms crossed and glaring at them. Tucker also eyed them with suspicion and Danny had yet to let up on his distrustful glare.

"Well we do. So common, the private gala is still going. We only escaped from it for a little bit to get this guy some coffee. It's not too late, let's go! We can figure out the whole time bubble thing on the way there!" The brightly smiling auburn haired answered instead bouncing in his seat next to Sam. Eager to have Danny and his friends come along.

Only way later did Danny learn that the three teens that snuck them into a privat Hero Gala were actual members of Young Justice but that was only after they figured out the whole Amity lives in a Time Bubble situation.

[onesidedradiostatic]

aromantic alastor headcanons for aro-week (with some ace in there as well, because I think for alastor those things are so entwined, it's hard to separate them):

tried going out with girls a couple of times when he was alive, to make his mother happy, but always found a way to extricate himself from the attachment. this ties into his learning how to have complete control over any situation he's in

I wonder as well about whether or not he "passed" as white, or whether his community knew that he was creole, and how that affected his dating opportunities, and his paranoia, his need to be in control, basically his constant hyper-vigilance

got a lot of fanmail for his radio host work, women (and men, but more furtively) loooved his voice. this was acceptable, because (apart from some of the weirder ones) he could use this as a metric for how accepted he was in society, as well as how well he was passing -- both in terms of race and orientation, but also youknow, as someone who is definitely not clockable as a serial killer

although of course we know he also enjoyed company. he'd go out drinking and dancing a lot. was mimzy a bit in love with him? I just like the idea that people kept being incredibly taken with his charm and his politeness and his poise, because he does have all those traits. whether he notices...? (no). I mention this point not so much as headcanon, I just like that alastor as aroace and repulsed on both of those points, was never a shut-in about it. he's always been very lively (ha) and outgoing, and clearly likes being in the company of others... but maybe that last point has gotten to be a little difficult during his time in hell, due to having to be so careful about showing any kind of emotional "weakness." speaking of...

post-death became a more extreme version of himself -- that is, a man on a mission to be in control and create emotional distance between himself and others through the power of voice, rather than having to faff about pretending emotional connections where there were none. very suited for hell because of his precarious political lived reality whilst alive, and because hell is built on who has power and who doesn't. these are rituals he understands better than the strange romantic ones during life

the smile as mask and unhealthy coping mechanism -- wonder if when he was alive people swooned over his having a lovely smile (as well as its being useful to placate and to disorient people who had more violent intentions, and in both cases potentially to lure in victims). so the smile likewise became the most extreme version of itself. the smile in essence as the signifier of someone who doesn't fit into any boxes and needs to hide that fact, both by being mixed race and aroace, but then the smile itself becomes something that effectively owns him, because he literally cannot let it drop, ever (honestly if alastor ever stops smiling, it'll be the biggest gasp moment on this show)

all that being said, surprising connections do occur: rosie, I think, sees through him from the beginning, and she's so disarming (ha, disarming... cannibal joke) that she never feels like a threat + they're both cannibals, so there's a relaxed kinship there and maybe she reminds him of the parts of home he (secretly) misses a bit

I wonder how rosie figured out that alastor wasn't into dating. I think at first she might have thought he was gay, but then quite quickly seen that that's not it, he doesn't even like men much, and she feels like she's been around the block enough to piece together peoples' natures from one of a million other people she's known, so way before she knows the terminology, she knows, and crucially, she never judges or tries to force the point

I wonder how vox and alastor met -- whether vox was able to gain power on his own and this attracted alastor's attention, or if alastor saw something of himself (that turned out to be surface level) in vox, that is, they both wear smiles as masks, they're both presenters, their mediums may be different, but their aims feel similar. perhaps alastor was comfortable enough in hell at this point -- probably in a way he never was whilst alive -- that he was feeling magnanimous towards what must have felt a bit like an upstart. and most importantly, the constraints of alloromantic ideas are a comfortable 20 years in the past by now, alastor can barely remember that this was ever anything that was expected of him, or that others' could possibly feel about him

cue vox falling head over heels, the way people so often did while he was alive, and he... does not notice at all (barely a headcanon). I kind of feel like I don't have much to say on these two, because this blog is already a treasure trove of vox and alastor hcs!

I think rosie is the only one who knows alastor is aroace, although... maybe husk? not in so many words, but he knows alastor isn't interested in those things. nifty Does Not Notice Nor Care (in a good way). charlie i will forever think will at some point do a deep-dive on modern queer lingo and get everyone flags (this is practically word of god canon considering that older piece of art you shared). vox definitely doesn't know. val....... sort of kinda knows but in an evil way. vaggie does not care, but she'd be chill about it. mimzy... I don't think knows, mainly because she never cared to think about his behaviours, as someone who's quite self-centered on what alastor is to her. jeez, who am i missing... angel, does not know, head empty

speaking of angel, I think if he ever found out, especially with where he's at in his journey rn, would be very unhappy in some way about having stepped over his boundaries so often so casually at the beginning. dunno how he'd act about it, but i like the idea of vigilantly (and crudely, and bluntly) supportive angel if they ever manage to get alastor out on the town. more on the ace side of things but i can see him going: "do not try to fuck this guy! this guy is unfuckable!"

(i like hypersexual and deeply romantic angel + sex and romance repulsed alastor as unlikely friendship in my head. opposites finding common ground type stuff is always good)

at the end of the day, alastor living and dying in an amatonormative world and having to orient himself within that by building walls that persist/worsen after his death because of the culture of hell being predicated on who controls whom, veeeeery slowly discovering that he can be vulnerable on his own terms without people demanding things from him that he cannot give (smthinsmthin the hotel gang as the opposite of vox in that sense -- not only that sense, but also that)

also something about imagining his mother hoping he'd find a nice girl and settle down (in the way parents often do, because that's the metric of happiness right.....) and how he never could give her what she wanted, and maybe feels some very locked away guilt about that, which he thinks he'll never be able to deal with because his mother is in heaven, but perhaps in this story she'll get to see what he's built with the people at the hotel and that's really all she wanted for him in the end

OH MY GOD ANON THIS IS ALL SO GOOD?? THANK YOU SO MUCH HAHAHA. happy aro week everyone!! (x2)

[hrishcha]

Made an iterator sona :) A quiet and anxious one, avoids group elder as she doesn't perform to her highest standards and doing so strains her systems badly — either an overlooked failure during creation or gained over time wear. Still possesses incredible computing and memory capacity, but won't outperform her neighbouring iterators despite being newer generation.

She's not fond of their purpose and doesn't do much steps towards achieving it; most likely believes that ancients' philosophy is not applicable to less intelligent creatures, although thinks that by the time iterators will be long gone and new possible civilization arises, those beings might also wish to ascend, but it must happen on their own terms. Instead of looking for the solution, prefers observing the nature through her overseers, but does not wish to have any creatures within her can and gets noticeably frustrated and nervous if anything finds its way inside. At some point became good friends with iterators far outside of her local group, but when the communication arrays deteriorated and went out of service, she lost contact with them. To this day occasionally runs simulations of their imaginative conversations to entertain herself. Loves her personal collection of pearls and secretly wishes to obtain more, but doesn't dare to reach out into outer world even with purposed organisms. Messing with her data pearls will severely anger and unsettle her. Do not touch the pearls

Her name shall be… Questions Silently? Not fully satisfied with it for now but maybe I'll come up with something better we'll see + some details :)

[genericpuff]

I really don't like how Melinoe looks like a female Hades with Persephone's pink eyes. It's too generic. Maybe keep her hair and eye colors, but maybe make her skin color a blend of both of them, like a muted purple/gray to contrast her with Dionysus? Anything other than what she has in canon.

What's wild is that the narrative is trying to convince us now that all of the dreams he had of him and Persephone were just peeks into the future. But if that's the case-

1.) Melinoe learns to communicate verbally at some point

2.) There's ANOTHER BABY we haven't even established yet (though Rachel did confirm in a tweet from ages ago that it's some god named Brimos who she read about in a book when she was a kid ???):

(but Brimo was an epithet associated with Hecate/Persephone/other gods of the dead, not necessarily an actual direct offspring of H x P, so... yeah, weird choice of a 'nod' especially now that she's trying to implement Hades' dreams into the plot as 'future sight' or w/e)

3.) All of the visions of their future together feature children that predominantly resemble Hades, not Persephone. This is really telling as to how much the relationship - both on a narrative level and even a visual one - revolves around Hades. Persephone is just an accessory, to the point that none of their children can resemble her in any major way, only through very miniscule references, such as the vines coming out of Melinoe's back and her pink eyes (whereas "Brimos" doesn't resemble her at all).

4.) This goes hand-in-hand with #3, but Dionysus and Thanatos are not present in any of these visions. I'm willing to give Thanatos a pass because he's an adult man (although it does just go to show how little Hades views him as a child), but what about Dionysus? Does his absence from these scenes tell us that Persephone found other accommodations for him? Or, more likely, is it because Rachel never planned to include Dionysus in the first place? And of course, Dionysus' design is also inherently linked to Hades, because while he has purple skin (referencing wine/grapes/etc.) he's got white hair that's explained as a genetic trait that's been passed down through Hades.

All that said, the baby plotlines in LO are a mess in and of themselves, and you can tell just how much of it revolves around Persephone "fixing" Hades or being the solution to all of his infertility and relationship problems. Persephone is the most perfect woman of all who Hades is dependant on to solve all of his problems, everything is about what she can provide him and what he can stand to gain from her, even if it means dragging her down to his level.

Man. Minthe was right.

(seriously in ANY other story this would have been FORESHADOWING-)

[liketwoswansinbalance]

In the modern publishing landscape, these days, I think like we do not have many (if any) point-of-view characters with low social motivation for whatever reason.

Sure, there are lots of characters with social anxiety or other perceived or legitimate foibles to overcome, there are many YA villain origin stories, and there are many unpalatable, traditionally "unlikable" men in classics, but disregarding those, who else do we have?

Can the state of openly being alone (and content) rarely be presented as morally-neutral or as the end result of a narrative? Must it always be that either being alone is the starting point, so there's room for "personal growth," or that being alone is seen as "undesirable" and/or an indication that the person alone has a "problem" or something otherwise wrong with them, like a deficit or moral failing that in some kind of karmic way gives them "what they deserve," which is being alone and discontent with it?

Characters with society anxiety, any differences in communication, or other reasons that interfere with forging connections "don't count" because they may still be motivated. Traits such as these only stand in the way of gaining relationships, as plot obstacles. They aren't intrinsically tied to indifference or to low motivation. So, these characters clearly are not experiencing a lack of interest. And they are not the ones rejecting others. Thus, they "don't count" as far as the archetype that I'm looking for goes.

Characters who undergo villain arcs or otherwise negative arcs may want to maintain their relationships or gain them, so some examples are immediately disqualified (hence not having low social motivation), even if they are the type of character most likely to alienate themselves by a story's end, conflicting with what they wanted.

(Unfortunately, Coriolanus Snow, who is quite close to the type of protagonist I'm searching for "doesn't count" because he has some drive to keep people in his life.

Rafal Mistral partially "counts," and is satisfying as a character, but also doesn't count because he temporarily makes "friends" or allies, depending on how you look at his exploits. Yet, despite all this, not having friends isn't exactly framed as a morally-neutral state either, so he is also disqualified by the end. Basically, he does have low social motivation, but his narrative lacks the conditions that would make the natural consequences of that low motivation play out for themselves. He is always surrounded by people, even if he hates every last one of them.

And, generally speaking, the usual, moody-broody, "misunderstood" YA love-interests very easily "don't count" because they have a desire to get closer to their object of affection.

Even Katniss Everdeen, an overall good person, who usually views herself as "unlikable," befriends others, originally for pragmatic, survival purposes. However, she does start with low social motivation, so that's something in her favor.

And yes, I'm aware that we need other people in this world—I would just like to see someone prove that supposed truth wrong once. And perhaps succeed in their world, if that's not too much to ask for.)

Also, are there any instances of characters who progressively alienate themselves from others, in which that progression is not inherently seen as negative? Like, what about non-corrupt misanthropes? Are there few of those in literature? (Maybe—Eleanor Oliphant from literary fiction counts, but something about that book did not appeal me and I didn't finish it.)

Classics guys sort of "count," but I haven't really seen examples of any comparable protagonists today since many authors and readers write and look for "relatability" in blank slate everyman figures oftentimes.

(I'm not done with Crime and Punishment yet, but Raskolnikov is very tentatively looking like a safe bet for a character who may end up alone and who may not be completely malcontent over such a fate, even if I'm expecting tragedy. I'm that not far along, but I also wouldn't mind it too greatly if he died, I suppose.

And even Sherlock Holmes has Watson as his constant, even if he's notoriously asocial! So he "doesn't count" either.

Carol from Main Street also comes close, but still ultimately desires approval from others.

Maybe no one is truly immune to humanity and I should give up on this notion?)

How many pov characters out there are 1) apathetic toward the masses and 2a) either alienate themselves as the plot progresses or 2b) do not make any friends? (I will allow them making friends and consequently losing them though because that still ends in net zero!)

Indeed, this "gap" in protagonists I've been running into lately, especially with coming-of-age arcs and protagonists whose arc is some form of "getting out of their shell," is: why do we (almost?) never see protagonists who just flat-out don't progress in terms of connecting with fellow humans?

Wouldn't having even a handful of those types be reflective of reality? (We as a society are more disconnected than ever, to be fair, despite constantly having access to one another via technology.)

Or I would completely understand it, if it were narratively impractical to have a plot in which a protagonist makes zero friends. Maybe, it's a near-unwritable form for a story?

So, my question is: does anyone have book recommendations, which present a character whose end goal is not to make friends or forge connections (any other ambitions or motivations are fine) and whose state of being friendless both lasts and is regarded as morally-neutral or as not outright evil? Any genre is fine. High fantasy is preferable. I am stumped.

(I also wouldn't mind recommendations of books in which the protagonist is vilified due to being alone, even if that is not my primary query here.)

[cvlutos]

ALL YOURS!!

OMG your latest Wally fic is so good I'm obsessed!! I'm not that good with words but I have an scenario request! Soo plsplspls bear with me! What about Wally x reader who's also a puppet and been member of this beautiful peaceful community from the start like all of them. But the reader gained consciousness not so long ago. Reader is freaking out they don't love Wally anymore they don't remember him and their love for them and they also don't want to, they just want to go away. Wally on the other hand in fact does, he's always been conscious one in the neighbourhood and he loves them very much!! maybe even a bit too obsessed with them? He doesn't understand how the reader can't remember their sweet lovely memories of being together. He's very desperate and pushy with them he wants the reader to remember! To love him like they used to (BONUS ANGST POINTS IF THEY ARE MARRIED!!!!!!!!) also you could finish it however you want (angst, fluff, dark idk I'm not good w this) thanks!

A/N. A very very old ask, I accidentally deleted. I havent played nor read any Wally in a long long time. So. I was going off solely what I remembered. I also have some old old old twst content I might freshen up.

ʚїɞ | Jul.06th.2024 | —K |

ʚїɞ| Wally Darling | Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ | Old Story | Self-Aware | Yandere | No Chance of Escape |

ʚїɞ | Synopsis: You live here and you will love it. |

It's all yours.

Yours. That which belongs to you. The house is yours, with colorful walls, and colorful doors that practically sing when they open and birds that chirp with a lovely lovely tune. You liked it before. Woke every morning to the smiling sun, happy to hum along. Until one day.

You feel out of place. Feeling the wire strings that poke and prob into your skin, and move you, that make you step, wave, dance, bow. Your face in an always expressive happy smile, always happy, always glad. Always. Always. Always. It's harder to ignore day by day. Harder to ignore how aware you are, how conscious you are of your existence, but them not.

Julie who rather plays the day away, humming and laughing happily with such a smile as she plays hopscotch, always begging you to play and happily hugging you whenever you agreed. Which was all the time, until recently. You began to reject her smiling invitations, not wanting to play. And she would merely tilt her head in surprise before letting out a happily laugh, "Tomorrow then!!" And she goes on her merry way.

Eddie who always has mail, who's always on the move. Delivery after delivery. Letter after letter. Art craft after art craft, folding colored paper, gluing on sticky glitter. Always providing solutions through hard work. Always asking you to accompany him on his deliveries, and how could you not. It always led to such fun, to crazy adventures. Until you reject him, watching his brows raise and eyes widen, before he let's out a honest flustered laugh. "That's alright! Next time!"

Sally who's always performing. Always acting in front of her colored curtain. Or instructing you to act and how whatever theatrical scene she Invisioned, always asking you to join her fantasy world. And of course you accepted. Putting on a special outfit, doing your hair and makeup and preforming for you neighbors. But like the others, you reject her offer. To which she tilts her heard, before giving you a grand shining bow, "All actors need a break from the stage! We'll play later!"

Play. To them. This is a world of fun, a world of joy, happiness, where the sun never sets, so the day never ends. The curtain never stops, the letters are always delivered, the game never ends..

"It's yours."

And no matter how you look at it, no matter the angle, the glasses you wear, the color of the lenses, it doesn't change your feelings. You hate everyone here. You hate how deluded they are, how happy they are, how they live without fear without concern.

And as you stand in front of your home, clutching the painted yellow key, a house designed after you. Made to your exact liking. At least it was made to you, the you who didn't know. Who didn't feel the—the constant weight of merely existing in a world so unnatural. Shoved into the box of sickening happiness — of Wally's Darling. The one who without fail was always beside him, always his muse. You can't stand the thought of him, it was all designed. All made up.

"Is the house so pretty that you have to admire it so? I do think it's gorgeous, it's made for you after all."

Hands clasped behind his back, lazy smile resting upon his lips. Unbothered smile and unbothered eyes, he knew you'd be here. You can't force a smile when you see him, instead turning your gaze to the ground, which makes his eyes widen. Shoes clicking across the paved ground and sitting beside you. "Do you feel alrighty, it's not often I see you with your smile, you always smile for me, give me a smile, love."

He nudges you, resting his elbow into his knees, propping his face in the palm of his hands. Copying your closed in form, silently mocking you.

"I don't love you.... "

This gets his attention. His usually lax expression changes into on of utter confusion, before he tries to smile, and laugh. "Silly silly. I'll forgive you this one time, but some jokes are cr—"

"I'm not joking."

He pauses for a moment, sitting up, your watching his face tremble, that smile he wears wants to disappear. He can't. But his eyes seem darker, and his voice seems different. "You couldn't possibly be serious."

You clutch your fist, the key digs into your palm. You try to build your resolve. "I am." Wally shakes his head roughly, he doesn't look at you, the world seems to tremble.

"Jokes like that are cruel." He doesn't raise his voice, he wants too. You want to leave. You're stuck to the bench. You can't leave.

"I don't—I want—I can't be here. This isn't—"

He says your name firmly, forcing your words to become trapped within your throat. He hasn't said your name. He never says your name. It's cold. Have you been cold before. Everyone seems to be watching you, staring at you. His eyes are so black and big. He forces a smile and head tilt.

"Lovely. I'll forgive you this one time." He holds up one of his fingers and rises to his feet, standing—towering—in front of you. He stares—down—at you. "You gotta remember we don't make jokes like that to our friends. Nor hurt our—your—special person. It hurts their—my—feelings." He smiles and holds his hand out to you.

His eyes stare.

It's all yours.

You place your hand in his and rise to your feet. He stares. Making your way to the colorful door of "your" house. It has your name gorgeous painted.

It's yours.

That which belongs to you. The house is yours, with color walls, and colorful doors that practically sing when they open and birds that chirp with a lovely lovely tune. He stares.

It's always yours. Always. Always. Always. It's harder to ignore, harder to ignore how aware you are, how conscious you are of your existence.

And how conscious he is of yours.

ⓒ 2024 cvlutos — all rights reserved. Any sort of plagiarizing, copying, modifying, translating, editing of my works are strictly prohibited.

[cxtangerina]

k2 is such a funny ship to me, like it's just plausible enough to be kinda sorta realistic if you squint and pray and look at it sideways, not quite a crackship but not able to get off the ground as more than a particularly popular rarepair either. they had, like, one big episode together back in season 3, a handful of major moments over the years that people hold onto with an iron grip, and basically nothing else outside of a plethora of fantastic fancontent and dreams.

i think i like it for the exact opposite reasons that i like kyman, actually, they sorta stand as complementary ships in my mind. where k2 barely has any actual basis in canon & comes heavily from fanworks and speculation about how well the characters would match each other, kyman is practically canonical, at least when it comes to cartman's feelings, and is at least regularly joked about and referenced in-show. personally, i also tend to see k2 as a ship that is kinda miraculously requited, whereas kyman is usually stuck in unrequited hell, which...

...well, this gets into more specific character analysis, but a big part of this is that i tend to see cartman as having very fucked up views of both romance & sexuality that have especially interesting implications when you consider him to have a crush on kyle, specifically.

on the one hand, i think his cupid self is evidence enough that he has a very fairytale, idealized view of romance, based more out of the hollywood movie image of what love is supposed to be rather than anything in reality. south park adults being utter fucking idiots 99% of the time means that most, if not all, of the kids don't have a lot of good role models to base their actions off of. i'm not gonna talk out of my ass about childhood development more than i understand it, but i don't think it's too controversial (?) of a take to claim that kids understand & learn about the world through watching it just as much as interacting with it, particularly when it comes to their own parents.

cartman is a piece of shit, and while a lot of that comes from him and his own bigotry, he's still ultimately a kid in show and you can trace where some of his worst traits originate from in the people around him, even if he makes the personal decision to push it as much as humanly possible. i think the trend in recent seasons for many adults to try and at least appear more pc only makes this more obvious, actually (coughcoughrandy), though talking about that is maybe biting off a little more south park politics than i'm willing to chew for this particular post.

point is, cartman as a character in particular does not have a lot, if anything, to base his idea of what a healthy, happy romantic relationship looks like, which isn't only because liane is single though that may be a major contributing factor. love isn't work to cartman, it isn't about the maintenance of a relationship or communication or all the more realistic and slightly less pleasant parts of loving someone that hollywood doesn't find dramatic or interesting enough to show. rather it's a fantasy, something that happens to people that they have no real control over. i wouldn't be surprised if he believes in soulmates or love at first sight, even if the likelihood of him admitting that out loud isn't especially high.

on the other hand, i think his view of sexuality is greatly influenced by not just liane's sex work, but the way she is slut-shamed and treated like garbage by the rest of the town for it. i tend to view cartman as having a very transactional, cynical view of sex and sexuality, where sex is only used for personal gain (whether that be money or power, likely at the expense of someone else/the submissive party), and sexuality is an inherent character flaw, a weakness that must be overcome unless you are able to twist it and use it for your own (material?) benefit- see the streaming wars & cartman wanting his mom to seduce a rich man for money as a recent example of this.

it's a running gag in TFBW that cartman uses douchebag catching their dad fucking their mom as a tragic backstory, and doesn't seem to understand how reproduction actually works even when kyle basically says it straight to his fucking face. even as a joke, there's still a lot of underlying truth behind why he would believe this. cartman is aware of his mom's sex work, even if he may not want to fully admit/believe it, largely because of situations where he's specifically getting shit for it. he knows he has a father, and that he is (in)directly responsible for said father's horrible death & consumption, but he only really cares about that insofar as it means he's half ginger. sex has only ever been presented through its most vicious power dynamics to him- why would he see it as a good thing, as something that could ever be loving, especially when contrasted against such an idealized, purified view of romance?

(you could also extrapolate from this how cartman associates sexuality & romance with femininity & his brand of sexism to get some particularly delectable transfem cartman ideas, but i digress.)

ANYWAYS. this is all to say that cartman having a crush on kyle (or anyone, really, but kyle is obviously the most emotionally volatile example) instantly pits those two conflicting views against one another, like he wants something that he doesn't even think could ever exist: a happy, healthy romantic relationship, where sex is just a normal thing that they can choose to do or not. this is where a lot of kyman angst comes from for me, with cartman either trying to stuff that round desire back into the square hole of how he views the world, or having his ideals fall ever further apart when the feelings are unrequited. and, on top of that, none of this being actually said out loud because communication is impossible.

this is why i always see kyman as making each other worse, especially if they actually manage to make it into a romantic relationship. i simply Do Not see kyle being a patient enough person to help cartman work through the intricacies of all of his expectations and idealized fantasies and internalized fears surrounding such mutually screwed views of romance & sexuality- on the rare occasions that kyle does show some interest in romantic relationships it's usually pretty centered around himself, and to be frank i only see his interest in romance going down as he gets older.

i've heard some people talk about kyle before like he's the "moral compass" of south park or whatever and while that may be true by the end of the episode, one of the things i like most about him is the fact that he struggles so much to get to the best conclusions. this is kind of getting back into the k2 side of this analysis, but where kenny manages a much more effortless selflessness, even pushing it to the point of being both a strength and a flaw when kenny stops caring about himself for the sake of others, kyle is a lot more self-centered than he cares to admit and it influences a lot of his attempts at being a good person.

this is both my favorite aspect of kyle, that he really has to put in the work to be the good person that he wants to be, and also the primary bad trait that i think cartman brings out of kyle. by being such a notoriously horrible shithead, he gives kyle the perfect target to unleash his annoyance on, getting him so caught up in arguing and proving himself to be the better person that kyle forgets to actually listen to the people that he's supposed to be standing up for. cartman is a fantastic troll and, at least in show, kyle definitely has not learned to stop feeding him argument fodder yet.

sidenote: about kyman entering a romantic relationship... wasn't sure where to add this, but it's for this exact reason that i also see kyman (or this version of kyman where cartman gets worse with age, rather than better) only actually happening in the universes where kyle has lost all other meaningful connections, to the point that feeding a troll to get off on an argument is the best possible option, even if he's old enough to know better. especially if he's old enough to know better.

again, k2 is the opposite of this for me in that i see kyle & kenny as having a lot of potential to bring out the best in each other.

if kyle's worst trait is that he gets too caught up in his own feelings & desires to truly be the good, selfless, thoughtful person that he wants to be to actually do genuine good for the sake of others, kenny's problem is that he skews too far in the opposite direction. i kinda already said this, but to state it outright: kenny's biggest strength and his biggest flaw are the exact same, that he is selfless to a fault, to the point of consistently putting other people's safety and happiness above his own when he thinks it would be of help the majority/the people he loves. this was the key kenny trait that was established by the end of BL&U, and it has only gotten more prominent in the years since with his mysterion persona.

it is in this way that kenny both stands as someone that kyle can look up to & admire for how effortlessly he dedicates himself to the people he cares about the most, but also, simultaneously, as someone that kyle can take care of himself and offer the same help back to. and i don't even think kenny needs to say very much out loud to push kyle towards a lot of these conclusions, he kinda just has to exist and be noticed and kyle has the intelligence to figure it out himself, to recognize the shit that kenny puts himself through and his (usually) quite noble reasons for doing so, and want to offer him the same love and care and dedication that kenny never allows himself to have.

really, the difficult part of this is being noticed at all in the first place. again, i said earlier that k2 is kinda "miraculously requited," in my mind, specifically because the aspect that's missing in the show and almost always must be provided by fan content for k2 is that spark/push forward that gets them close enough to start talking and for kyle to notice kenny in the first place. it's just lucky that's one of my favorite things to figure out and write for those two, hehehe.

[miss-sweetea-pie]

I just saw an interesting maiko post. I didn’t want to comment or reblog because I figured that person didn’t want to have a discord considering the tags and some times tumblr recommended things to you. I probably wasn’t meant to see it honestly, But now I want to talk about it.

It was about how Zuko and Mai are just teenagers who don’t understand each other sometimes and then fail to communicate.

Also about how Mai’s emotionless trait collides with Zuko’s need for emotional validation and Zuko’s controlling possessiveness collides with Mai’s need for freedom. But they care for each other that doesn’t make them a bad couple, and Mai is not a bad girlfriend.

Honestly it a really good way to frame the relationship. I would also call it incompatible, maybe even toxic? it doesn’t make them bad people, but sometimes people do bring out the worst in you. Technically, this is true for Zuko, considering he went back to the fire nation, and he started dating Mai at the same time. Mai is the first person we see him speaking to after betraying his uncle and the show wants us to know he made the wrong choice. Mai is use as a narrative tool for Zuko’s lack of support in the fire nation,he’s miserable when he goes back home, and the one person, you would think he could connect with, his girlfriend, is cold and emotionally withdrawn. The show used Maiko to explore the the emptiness of being home in the fire nation, the empty promises of fire nation glory he been chasing and it doesn’t resonate with him anymore, also the impossible standard of gaining conditional love. (Sorry but Maiko is Zuko centric so it does makes Mai hard to read at best and abusive at worst)

I don’t deny that they care about each other in someway they’ve known each other since they were children, it’s safe and comfortable. but love is not enough. Honestly most toxic relationship in irl continue because they love each but they are not good for one other. Zuko and Mai they don’t understand each other and it seems like they don’t really want to understand each other. That’s the problem. (Mai mostly).

Maiko is really just a toxic cycle of their needs not being met

This scene where Zuko want to talk about his feeing and open up to her

Mai: *yawn* I just asked if you were cold not for your whole life story.

(Not going to lie, that was funny but it’s still a very dismissive thing to say, especially to your partner.)

Zuko is actually a little bit more sympathetic when she tells her “sob story” he didn’t yawn

Zuko: I like when you express yourself.

(her being off and on with her anger. Is like a metaphor for him being in the fire nation, trying to make something work and it’s not working. Constantly feeling like he said or does the wrong thing)

and It just bubbles over until they finally blew up

Zuko’s possessiveness is a reaction to after he feels like he has done all sorts of stuff to please her. it’s zuko reaching his breaking point. Boy is really insecure in this relationship because the feed back he gets from her is contempt. Sure we could argue and say that doesn’t make mai a bad girl friend maybe this is just her sense of humor or personality. well, it doesn’t mesh well with Zuko therefore, they are incompatible, and a bad couple with each other. 

( also Zuko is not nice here that’s kind of the point he hads regressed  in his character arc so to speak.)

and then they get back together by making out.

Sure she says she cares but why when did she actually show it? Actions speak louder than words! We never get a moment where Mai gets it and really understands him.

[faggy--butch]

"I'll also say that this is sometimes supported by the trans man creators, like Jammidoger. It's not just the trans women, it's not just the essayists […]" & "you should feel gender affirmed from the violence done to you because that's just how men are actually".

Thing is, until I found trans men/masc people talking about transmisandry/transandrophobia online, every time I tried interacting with my local trans community, especially with other trans men/masc people, has included them all parroting or agreeing with the above sentiments, and it's why I stopped going to my local support group or interacting with them at all. Hearing those things from some well-known and respected trans women and men in our local community and getting pushback when I wanted to talk about trans masc issues, was just so disappointing.

Which is why I'm happy Jessie made that video and came to the conclusion she did. I left a comment just about my opinion on the matter, that while yes I've felt left out on her videos and wish she included our perspective more often, I also remind myself that she and her co-writer are both trans femme. So I don't take it as intentionally or even unintentionally leaving us out, it's a side effect of people writing what they know, however, that's exactly why I watch her, to get a better perspective for myself of trans women/femme issues.

But there were also lots of trans men and masc people in the comments who said a lot more about what our issues are and the harm it does to exclude us, how we do face similar or even the same kind of violence for the same reasons as trans women and femme people, and that often, her exclusion of us in her videos (especially the Barbie one) is adding onto the already exhaustive history of transandrophobia from within the trans community. While I've not changed or added to my comment, in the face of those others, it felt lacking, but I'm also really kinda exhausted at this point, since I've been fighting against biphobia from both cishet and other queer people most of my life now, so in the face of transandrophobia, I just have no more fight in me and have resorted to elevating the voices of others who do.

Sorry for the rant, you don't have to respond, I guess I just wanted to say thank you for getting a ball rolling and here's hoping it goes farther than other attempts before this.

Hey! I think I actually saw your comment, I thought about it a lot too which is is cool that it's bringing me full circle here but I do also agree in part that because they are trans femmes their thoughts and opinions are bound to be almost exclusively from their perspective. I do also watch for that perspective in part as well, but I feel that bigger trans creators who talk about trans topics, need to remember that there isn't just that one kind.

They have the opportunity to make a difference, to give others a voice, a voice which severely lacking in these spaces. I'm not going to wholesale blame them for perpetuating transandrophobia or anything, but if you're making a video on trans experiences and then leave out a crucial part of that experience, or at worse, uncritically repeat those same ideas as a bigger creator with lots of followers, it can have a serious negative impact on members of that groups and reinforces it, transandrophobia. This reminds me of the video that Abigail Thorne did called Beauty, Food, Mind. A lot of that video is her talking about how fatphobia affects HER, a thin beautiful actress, and doesn't really even mention much of fat struggles, or get fat perspectives, and she gained a lot of criticism within the fat youtube community for it because she had an opportunity and the didn't take it, making fatphobia only about thin people instead. I will be honest, I haven't had much of an irl queer community, I have my friends and I have gone out and interacted, but I'm disabled, and poor. I don't have the chance to go to any sort of community events or anything other than maybe a drag show every now and again especially here were I live now, I moved and am back in my home state, so it does make me nervous to even seek out and find a local community. online it's easier to brush off that kind of thing, not being considered or being talked down to or ignored, and tbh gaslit, but in real life? In my own home area, in my real domain?

I'm not sure I'd know how to cope with that rn, especially because I too have had some, let's just say not great experiences with in few irl trans people semi community type groups.

Lots of people are hurting and they take it out on each other, so I feel like I have to put on a persona, or be more femme to even be taken seriously and that sucks. So yeah, it's a breath of fresh air to be able to talk about transandrophobia online with other men and I'm happy happy happy we have this, but It is disappointing and I think it shows historically why trans men have tended to keep to ourselves.

[mgjong]

Happy 1M!!!

Want to see me complaining a bit?

I am still sad over the way Deep Cover was received by a big part of the community.

Not here to talk about expectations and stuff, everyone knows the fact we had already streamed the song to hell and back before the MV released and made our own theories had a big part to play. Especially when the thumbnail dropped and everyone felt that their ideas could be right since the "Kotoko with a warden outfit" was one of the things most people agreed on.

I guess it was how people went on over the lack of new information when the MV did, in my opinion, provide a lot of interesting stuff. We got a lot more on the crime and what happened after, giving rise to a bunch of theories. Not to mention the way it portrayed her mentality.

The fact one of the major complains I saw about Deep Cover is that Kotoko is alone in a room for the most part of it with some chess pieces is so funny to me. That's the point. She is alone. The room doesn't even have a door. She is not seeing the other prisoners as anything more than those pieces because she is isolating herself from them in order to enact her justice. And also, the way the walls gain those scratch marks could not only be foreshadowing to the wolf but also maybe indicating that she has TRIED to escape. But once again, there is no door. So Kotoko does what she does best and laughs, pretends everything is fine, that this is what she is supposed to do. And where does that get her? Now the room is completely destroyed, there are broken pieces all around her. It's just her and the monster she has become.

Yeah there is a a lot of unnecessary spinning. I too don't like that part. I wish we had seen Kotoko directly breaking the pieces (although a point could be made that she couldn't imagine herself doing that). Honestly it feels like even with the extra time they couldn't do everything they wanted with this MV, they were probably too greedy and had to settle with what they already had.

But saying that it was a let down because it lacked in content doesn't sit right with me. A lot of hard work was put into it and even the most "boring" part of the MV has so much meaning and build up to the amazing ending. This MV perfectly displays Kotoko's current mental state not to mention all the other parts with ""actual content"" which are just heartbreaking.

[svtminji]

mingyu redemption arc when🫣

𐙚 ‧ MIMI ─── mingyu's redemption arc or not!

╰ every member has their favorite person and would it be a crime to admit the guy she's gotten 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with for the last 4 years be her favorite? not to minji, but she would never admit it.

pair. mingyu x oc warnings. theres a sex scene but idk if u could classify it as a sex scene anyways i don't want -18 interacting w this post.. if u do then idk man go touch grass or something, consensual infidelity/cheating, poly stuff? idk jeonghan is ok with it, dub-con ig???, obvi height differences are mentioned, and they were roommates, mingyu's parents are minji's korean parents, forced marriage ideas, younger mingyu & older minji memories, unrequited love type shit, slow burn shit idk man mingyu will never win, jeonghan and his devilish plans, oh and jeongmi marriage mentioned word count. 1.8k tags. @smh-anon @mymartiniblue

mimi: 🐶🐈‍⬛. ─── dynamic

🎼 ─ agora hills by doja cat & one of the girls by the weeknd

minji has raised this man since she was 17 and he was 16. she was one of the members who had already completed their studies in school and she took several younger members under her wing

mingyu has always held minji in high regard and her caring nature had him gain a crush on her. mingyu never acted on his infatuation towards her but one fateful night led him to join in the fun with johnji AND jeongmi ;3

on the other hand, minji felt uncomfortable with the idea of being romantic with someone younger than her. despite the drunken words and pleas of mingyu, she gave in.

freakiness aside, their friendship is more wholesome rather than sexual. minji and mingyu are the best of friends and their dynamic doesn't falter even if people try to break it. many people and fans alike point out the cute height difference between the pair and the struggles in communication between them.

as to what jeonghan thinks about their relationship, he doesn't mind another person as long as mingyu doesn't entirely cross the line. jeonghan knows minji will always go back to him at the end of the day and he 100% trusts her to do the right thing

roommates: propaganda is real and the truth is.. mingyu doesn't clean. between the three roommates, mingyu is in charge of the kitchen, minji cleans, and wonwoo sits there and looks pretty. 

mimi: 🐶🐈‍⬛. ─── family

mingyu's parents really love and adore her. she's their second daughter and they will always support her in anything she does. they are definitely her second korean parents and she's super grateful they took her under their wing. 

they also thank her for taking care of their sweet boy while they were trainees and have dropped comments about a future marriage but minji quickly stopped it.

his sister + minji -> A MESS. women LOVE to gossip and they will gossip til it's midnight. mingyu loves to see two of his favorite women interact and it makes him super happy.

minji's parents also adore mingyu. although they have a preference for jeonghan, they still wholeheartedly appreciate every single member. her parents don't need to know what happens behind closed doors. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀ℳ.⠀⠀⠀민규

to an experienced carat, mingyu and minji had shown countless sexual tension after minji’s initial break up with johnny. perhaps it was how he became more protective of her or how he demanded her attention whenever there was something he was proud of. or maybe.. it was how she looked at him with that glint in her eye that showed him that she wanted him. 

being roommates was the worst. he couldn’t fathom his thoughts and emotions, especially regarding the sole female member. she had seen him grow into the man he is now and the way his parents had taken her under their wing set the emotions on fire. it didn’t help that they would call minji their “daughter-in-law” or “daughter” in general. he noticed that his parents pushed the agenda of marriage onto them. though he knew minji would never marry him, or even date him, especially when her emotions were locked behind a barrier that could only be broken with the right amount of force. the only person who had managed to break it was jeonghan and mingyu knew he couldn't go behind his member's back to pursue the girl he liked.

╰  2022: the beginning of the current present 

jeonghan and minji have had many conversations about her prior relationships and what she thinks about them now. from seungcheol to her boyfriend, jeonghan knew all of her relationship histories and brought up something interesting: mingyu and his attraction to minji. he recalled how mingyu had originally felt when the '95 pair began dating and suggested something minji would never believe come of his mouth. 

"you mean a polyamorous relationship? so you're okay with me practically 'dating' mingyu?" minji responded to the statement jeonghan made with a focus on the dating part. 

jeonghan shook his head and continued, "it's not dating or a polywhatever relationship but if you feel something and i'm not there, you're allowed to go with the people i choose." he could see how she thought about many possible conclusions. but she failed to even consider it.

"i don't know if i would even be able to do that to you, consensually or not. it just feels like i would be mentally breaking your trust and i don't want to even think about losing you." 

jeonghan sighed and opened his arms for a hug, which she gladly took. he rubbed her back and reassured her that he felt completely sure about it. "if it makes you feel better, i'll be there with you, and him i guess, and see what i feel about it."

"would you really do that for me? even if it causes you pain?"

"sweetheart, nothing you do would ever make me feel pain. don't worry about it, my sweet mizuji."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀ℳ.⠀⠀⠀민규

when the day came, minji was shitting bricks. she invited jeonghan to her shared dorm and both of them sat down on her bed and stayed quiet. within their almost two years of dating, jeonghan had never felt this nervous but he still persisted. as he was going to open his mouth, minji's door was opened and the man that lingered in their thoughts was the perpetrator. mingyu saw the look on their faces and knew something was wrong. closing the door, he made his way to sit down on the empty chair at minji's desk.

"so.. why has everything gone quiet? i haven't seen you guys this quiet since forever." mingyu questioned him as he had his signature pouty face. jeonghan cleared his throat and let out a sigh. it was now or never.

"well, i'm not sure how to begin to tell you this. minji and i," hearing her name being involved his ideas, minji slapped his arm, "ow... okay okay. i have been thinking about something serious and after a long time of talking it out, how would you feel about spending time with minji... romantically?"

mingyu couldn't believe what he heard. him.. being romantically involved with minji? was he dreaming? no, he couldn't be... minji never looked this good in his dreams but still, he couldn't tell if jeonghan was serious or not.

"are you serious?"

"why wouldn't i be?"

"and is she okay with it?"

"i'm literally right here. but if you want to know so bad, then yes, i am okay with it." minji spoke after keeping her peace. "hannie caught me off guard with the idea as well, but he reassured me that he was one-hundred percent sure that he felt comfortable with the idea."

the trio spent a few more minutes talking about consent, other barriers, and limits mingyu had because it was still jeongmi's relationship at the end of the day. let's just say jeonghan started getting a little freaky and minji had to convince mingyu to join them. he joined.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀ℳ.⠀⠀⠀민규

these :3-somes happened pretty often as it allowed the trio to let out their stress after a busy day of schedules or just for fun ^0^. though moving on more towards jeonghan and minji's engagement, jeonghan had decided to cut it down more since their future marriage would put a stop to it (for a while), and because jeonghan wanted a family.

jeongmimi aside, mingyu and minji have had a massive messy relationship from 2018 to the present; yet it never faltered and managed to maintain its strength even after all those years. 

╰  mingyu's birthday / ideas :3

everyone ages and it lets us reflect on what we have accomplished since when we were born. for mingyu, it was many things and perhaps this birthday surprise was the best one he had in a while. resting on the bedframe behind him, he kept his gaze on minji who was sitting on his lap, smiling at him. her small frame against his larger frame had him getting harder each second, and for sure, minji had felt it. a slight whimper came out of his mouth every time she slightly moved on his lap. her pink nightgown had a bow that would expose everything in one tug of a string, and mingyu knew she was dolled up just for him (not really but let him be delusional). men have huge egos and minji wasn't afraid of feeding into it sometimes. 

mingyu knew that she would let him do anything to her and he flipped her over so he would be on top. although he preferred to be on the bottom and watch her get off from him, he wanted to see his pillow princess fall apart because of him. when it comes to mingyu and his small habits during sex, he bites and leaves bruises on the areas that would be easy to hide from the public eye; although he had forgotten one day and minji had a poor look of shame when getting her marks covered up by her makeup artist.

he always mutters praises to her, telling minji how gorgeous, perfect, and precious she is for taking him all the way. did i mention he likes to take photos? i didn’t.. anyways this guy definitely had intimate photos/polaroids of their sexual encounters and probably a sex tape or two. though sometimes he gets too lost in his own pleasure that all he can hear is the pap pap pap coming from their bodies and minji's own choked sob that comes out everytime along with her small whimpers. whenever mingyu feels the familiar pressure coming, minji allows him to come inside her, and it's no surprise the man practically empties his balls inside of her.

nevertheless, when it comes to aftercare, this man is on it. from making sure she pees after and cleaning his mess to getting her a new change of clothes and blankets, he's the perfect man for it idc argue with the wall. mingyu enjoys the domestic feeling of minji between his arms and cuddling her; yet as soon as she gets up, he knows he will never actually feel the same feeling coming from her. he lays on the bed as he watches minji get dressed to go run errands and the sight of it makes him blink away a tear. 

minji hates seeing her members cry, especially if its because of her. wiping his tears away, she kisses him goodbye and tells him she'll see him later. he knows she doesn't have the heart to lie to him and at the of the day, they're close friends and band members with a complicated history. he knows he will never have the relationship he wants with minji, but being her close friend makes up for it. 

mingyu and minji have called it quits since november 2023 as minji and jeonghan are preparing for their wedding. although they have ended things on a good note, minji can finally admit that mingyu is her favorite, after her boyfriend. don’t worry, both of them saw the photos burned along with the tapes.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 민지 ⠀𓍼⠀⠀⠀ℳ.⠀⠀⠀민규

can u tell i dont know how to write 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 scenes... LMAO. this was everywhere my fault and yes, she is on birth control 🙄 she learned her lesson a 6 years ago

[dykeomania]

𝒎𝒊𝒂'𝒔 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒃𝒔: parenthood (3).

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: parenthood means stress, and endurance, and exhaustion, and learning curves, and ... sometimes, really, really, really good sex?

𝐚/𝐧: this is my Parenthood (Thought) Piece because i understand that i am mentally 30 but i llloooooooooooveeee a good domesticity concept i eat that shit up nnomnomnonmonmnom. i needed to talk about early parenthood with ellie and i needed to talk about some of the ... Alternate Consequences ... of early parenting .. if you will. this was fun. this was also composed between the hours of like, 2-4am. i think it's pretty literate, and kind of alright. you may have a fun time reading it. if you don't, sorry i'll venmo you a dollar. not ssssure if i really have anything else to say, honestly. proofread (at a very early hour, mind you) but i always make mistakes, i'll always edit over time.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: i understand these tags are like super weird and i always preface my fics like "fuck around and find out," but just to be clear, this fic does not sexualize children in any way. any way. just to really make that clear. mentions of you and ellie being engaged. joel's technically alive. mentions of children. parental uncertainty. stress. a little bit of sub bottom!ellie. we're dipping our toes in. also dom top!ellie. mentions of oral (both receiving), mentions of vaginal penetration (reader receiving). both ellie and the reader being milfs / ellie thinking its really hot how you are a good mom (there are still so many things in this category that i could've hit that im probably not even thinking of, so if y'all like this and wanna talk about them, Please talk to me) i write in past tense for literally all of it and this is just a me thing, but that's not really my style, so things may be .. off. or maybe it's just me. maybe i'm tripping. we'll see. it's like, 4am. so.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.1k, just about (i did too much).

.   .   .   .

you both lived on the farm. it was a quiet, proud little life that you lead. a picturesque actualization of all of the little thoughts and dreams that you and ellie have had about living together, about having a family. though, parenthood was new, and difficult. there were some nights that the baby wouldn't stop crying, and both of you would take turns feeling like shit -- one usually at a grander magnitude than the other --  because neither of you would know what to do. what, am i like, a bad mom? does he hate me? you spent time convincing each other that that is simply not the case, and that this was all part of the process. that you were both new, and learning, and that it's okay.

if you knew nothing else, whether that be due to not having experienced parenthood before or the delirium accompanying the heavy set bags and dark circled ruminating under both of your eyes, then you did know that there were a few things for certain: he will suck his thumb. his cries will turn to wails which will turn to sniffles, which will turn to sighs. he will get tired. he will roll over, and coo, and will go to sleep.... eventually.

granted, while this mentality in general made things easier throughout the early days of raising your newborn son, there was still no doubt that it was.. exhausting. in every way. parenting was a constant learning curve, and it took tolls on both of you in different ways. for ellie, she'd get quiet. snippy, even, and gain a little bit too much audacity at times. a snarky remark or demonstration of blatant impatience towards something minuscule, but still hurtful. her frustration would always point toward some deeper issue that she often struggled met with annoyance first, and words second. one of the first things that ellie learned while parenting was that she was really bad at communicating. she'd find herself throughout the first three, maybe even six months, constantly finding ways to say sorry.. even without saying really having said it. like, slipping into bed when after you'd finally went to sleep, and pressing kisses to your temple. or making sure the dishrack was completely empty, so you'd have one less thing to work about. albeit she struggled to verbally explain that while she understood you were too, she was just.. a little tired.

maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or her willingness to take up most of the tasks that required attention in areas other than just the inside of the home. which.. you did have to admit, were a little bit more intense than cleaning and washing dishes. no one asked her to do all of that. she took it upon herself to do extraneous tasks, like fix the fucking roof, during the peak of summer. and you'd always offer to help, truly. but it was always no, i've got it. you've got other stuff to do. you just go play with him, and i'll be in to take over in a little, okay?

you would, at times, have to sit her down and remind her to take it slow. that the roof isn't really bothering either of you, right now, and it won't until .. october, probably. that it's okay to swap out, if need be. she can do dishes, cook if she wants (burn down the house, if she wants), clean up while you go fix the wiring of the fence, tend to the horses, whatever the fuck she feels the need to do, on top of having to do already.

you would have to remind her, that she just can't do everything all at once. and that's okay. but that's also neither of your faults.

both you and parenthood alike would teach her to .. slow down, take it easy, and to talk.

ellie would have to teach you something similar, believe it or not. your back hurt. your tits wouldn't stop fucking leaking, and ever since you gave birth, you wouldn't stop getting these aching migraines that made your ears ring. you quite literally found yourself bending over backwards, trying to do everything all at once all of the time (sound familiar?), because you knew that it was as much of your job as it was ellie's. you can change the diapers, you can pump the breastmilk, you can clean the house, you can stop him from crying, you can read him books (that he couldn't understand, yet, technically), you could do everything. and theoretically, you could. and you would, until it made you frayed, and unhealthy.

that would be enough to make ellie to step in, put her hand on your shoulder, and advise you in a tone that was about as gentle as it was stern:

hey, let maria take him for a couple of days. you're tense -- i can feel you from across the house.

despite the anxiety and the frustration and the sleep deprivation and the exhaustion, you really would feel grateful to be experiencing this trying time together. there were some patterns characterizing it that were obviously stressful, and anxiety-inducing. but there were some consistencies throughout it that were be sweet, and tender. like, running each other warm baths. sitting – either in the bath, with the other, or on the toilet, or the side of the bath – and talking in low volume, not really out of fear of waking the baby, but just to kind of relish in the pocket of peace that existed between the two of you in that moment. the affection never died between the two of you. you were always snuggling close to each other when it came time for bed. always pressing tender kisses to each other's shoulders, holding each other's hands, circling your thumbs and indexes over each other's engagement rings.

… But!

you know... i'm a whore. so honestly, what really spurred this whole thought, is the fact that .. during parenthood your sex lives would practically be nonexistent. and it's not something that either of you really notice, until one of you explicitly brought it up. raising a child -- especially raising one in an environment that you both worked to keep safe, secured, and comfortable -- is a lot of work.

it wouldn't dawn upon either of you until you both were eating one night at the table - another tradition that you did not forfeit. you managed to dance around the subject due to something entirely tangential, and then it hit you, and you said – out of pure realization, ellie, we haven't had sex in .. like, months.

and just like that, the consequences of at least 98 days of involuntarily celibacy hit you both like a fucking truck.

for you, it came in the form of .. the simple reminder that your soon-to-be-wife is really... really fucking physically flawless. you'd notice this everytime she'd wear short-sleeves, or shirts no sleeves, which was really only.. every once in a while, as jackson got colder, or whenever you both woke up. sometimes you'd find yourself looking at ellie's back profile as she sat upright on the bed, adjacent and turned from you, stretching a big, grand stretch, and you'd feel a specific heat beginning to tickle the insides of your thighs. you found it harder to keep your gazes to yourself as ellie exited the shower, muscles apparent, and glistening. her whole body was littered with scars, and yet she was still so gorgeous. it was hard to believe that even for a second you failed to recall – or be conscious of – the fact that as much of a teddy-bear as she was, you were practically dating a fucking sculpture.

naturally, you would act on your desires first. and frankly, ellie would be so willing to lean into them. 

she'd be lying if she said sometimes she didn't wake feeling a bit restless, and like there was only one thing that soothe her. she craved it, sometimes – your hands, on her. all she needed were some quick rubs against her clit and kisses against her skin to motivate her to get out of bed and feed the animals. and she was so, so fortunate to have a fiancée good enough to her to give her just that.

she dared, shame on her, to forget how good you could make her feel. ellie never really let anyone touch her, before she met you. before she met you, she was honestly convinced a lot of the parts "down there" didn't work. she could hardly achieve making herself cum. it’d take so long. ellie hardly masturbated because she’d get impatient in any ordeal that wasn’t some needy, feral 3am occurrence that left her stirring, sweaty, and overwhelmed. it was a lot of buildup for what she saw as, in the end, very little payoff. and as far as other people making her cum went? well, no one had ever gotten that far. frankly, she didn’t think anyone would get that far.

that was until she met you.

it definitely wasn’t easy. there were a lot of tired wrists and upper biceps, and your jaw did get pretty sore. her pussy was gorgeously messy. but her clit liked to hide sometimes underneath the extra skin. when you found it, you learned that it was usually, extremely sensitive. but you told her that that was okay. you could make that work.

you spent a lot of time learning all of the technicalities. what was too much, what wasn’t enough. what to say to her; how fast to rub her.

it paid off, because about a month into dating, you showed her that it — and frankly, anything — was possible. just takes a little bit of time, and patience, kisses and whispers of affirmation how about how good she feels. how good she’s doing. takes some listening, intently, to what she needs. to what her body needs. 

can feel you twitching. you want my finger right here?

fuck, yeah. right there. just like that, baby -- please don't fuckin' stop.

and once you got good at it (and you got so fucking good at it), ellie couldn’t get enough. she jokes, regularly, that that’s one of the reasons why she’s going to marry you.

ellie's voice in the mornings would breathless and empty. all bostonian accent, rasp, and nothing else. they were vulnerable. whenever she'd let you between her thighs and you placed those kitten licks across her clit transitioning into these longer, learned drags, her moans would break, like glass. her hips would shuffle. sometimes, you’d have to hold her still.

no no, fucking running. it’s okay. just let me. can you let me? can you let me take care of you, baby?

fuck. yes. yes, yes, fuck. s— sorry just – oh, fuck.

it would mostly just be wake-me-ups. but ellie's back would always be arching by the middle of it. she'd find herself gasping, and sighing, and fucking -- against your tongue, against your finger -- and gripping onto whatever, all while mumbling to gods she didn't believe in.

that feels so, so so fucking – g–good.

so fucking good to me; feels so good, babe, thinki'mgonnacum–

ellie's orgasms hit her the same way every time. hard. ridiculously hard. leaving her breathing heavy, and screwing her eyes shut while she grasped at your hand, or your hair. her thighs would tense -- sometimes scramble -- and then collapse, after a while. she became this perfect amalgamation of tinted cheeks, chapped pink lips, messy brown hair, and sticky skin. 

she was such a fucking .. painting. she's so incredible.

the plan, as she wrote it, often was to immediately get out of bed after you made her cum. but oftentimes, she couldn't do anything for the first couple of minutes except lie there, body just a sack of bones and jello. her head would rest instead of pressing into yours, or would nuzzle its way deep into your neck. both occasions a precursor to her finally catching her breath. when she moves her head to kiss you, capturing your lips in something thankful, and sweet, it is almost always grounding for the both of you.

better?

so much better. holy shit, babe.

and that's not to say that ellie would never act on her desires. she was always just a little more calculated.

for ellie, her frustrations would creep up on her in the weirdest ways. it would be.. small things. things that were, actually, probably mutual. watching you wash the dishes, even when you’re not bent in a particularly promiscuous way. watching you cook, even when she wasn't really watching you, 'cause she was keeping the baby busy. but what really did her in was watching how you handled your son. something about seeing you have him on your hip, cooing at him or laughing with him, or playing with him, or smothering his cheek in big kisses that elicited these big, big giggles from him, drove her.. a very, questionable? kind of crazy? it was pure. it was so sweet, and most of the time, it was just that. but you were so, good with him. after so many months, despite all of the struggle, you really did blossom into a beautiful, capable mother, who still held the glow and all of the weight from the pregnancy and just–

ellie would realize how good it all looked on you. she would feel.. really proud.

and it made her feel like you ..  deserved something.

you both remember the first night she’d acted on her desires like it was yesterday. it was on the night that you two had hosted a dinner party for all of your mutual close friends and people who you called family. the dinner was a 3-week-long process of grocery picking, tablecloth finding, invitation designing, and recipe collecting. it honestly stressed you out more than it did ellie because, to be honest, she was kind of just there for moral support. it was your idea, after having had maria over for dinner once. and it was a great idea. but it left you drained – defeated from the final week of preparations, which was especially hectic. when you bathed that night, you bathed alone, a little overstimulated from the day. but you’d let ellie run the bath, though. only because she insisted on doing so. 

the soak cured some of the ache that settled deep into your joints, muscles, and bones.. but not all of it. after you'd set the tub to drain, brushed your teeth, and wrapped a towel around your body, you entered the room with an expected level of silence. you slathered moisturizer on your face, over your arms, over your stretch marks. when it came time to take off your jewlery, the rings – except the prized one – came off easily. but when it came to your necklace, your hands were simply too slippery. you sucked your teeth. you always did this. 

you eventually sighed, filling your lungs to call:

hey, bug. can you come help me take this necklace off, please?

ellie eventually would appear behind you, probably shuffling off of the bed or rounding some corner after changing and becoming into her own definition of comfortable. if she seriously complained, you didn’t hear it. you only felt her, how her hand placed itself on your shoulder just to let you know that she was behind you.

some things never change, move your hair over.

you do as asked, and hang your head. ellie's fingers brush against your skin with a kind of delicacy that makes shivers run down your spine. you lift your eyes, catching ellie's in the mirror before you. yours, heavier than hers.

you watched as she fought a smile, or a smirk. either was a given with her, honestly — in retrospect, it was most likely the latter. you couldn’t really tell, though. she’d dipped her head, eyes fixated on her fingers that fiddled with your necklace clasp.

you did a really nice job on the dinner, tonight.

suddenly, you were the one fighting the smile. you watched her, still.

yeah?

oh, you like.. completely knocked it out of the park. you did great. it was really, really really nice.

you didnt know if ellie was referring to the food, or the setup, or the wine choices – whichever. but something about the appraisal made your head buzz, like you were coming down off a two glasses of champagne (which.. maybe you were). ellie successfully removed your necklace, and yet didn’t back away. instead, she pressed herself closer to your back, and tilted her head so that she could speak just above the top of your ear,

you looked really nice, too.

been waiting for you to settle down, a bit. so i could tell you.

you probably hummed something in response, something that was probably suggestive but also thankful at the same time. it gets lost, though. because ellie bent down, and placed these slow, unassuming, appreciative kisses down your neck, and against the plateau of your shoulder. between those words and the way her hands lingered over your skin, the way she was breathing you in and drinking up the moment, and your scent, made you melt into her way too easily. like butter in a warm pan.

you exhale, like you've been meaning to for .. you don't even know how long.

el..

mhm?

you realize though, that the house is quiet. too quiet. there is a stillness to it that makes the pit of your stomach twist, and anxiety and guilt bubble in the base of it before you could even stop it.

...where's our baby?

you felt ellie grin against your shoulder. she masked it with a peck,

he’s at joel’s.

and then you felt her tongue drag across your skin. a long, open-mouthed kiss across the midpoint of your neck. she presses the padding of her tongue against tender flesh, sucks hard enough for blood to make the skin bloom, and almost -- against your own will -- makes your eyes roll shut.

the simple act -- acts rather, of ellie coordinating behind your back to have the baby taken off your hands (you knew it for a few days –  it's always a few days). she thought she was so slick. it was odd, how much relief those three words gave you,

but at the same time, you kind of wanted to be mad at her.

it was hard to, though. but you couldn't think straight, with how her hands were moving over you, over your towel. with her pelvis pressed against your ass, and her lips on your neck.

you tried,

he was fine here. everything was .. fine, ellie.

but she was so..

i never said everything wasn't fine.

i just think... you've had a really long, stressful week.

you hate how your body reacts to ellie's hands smoothing up your towel. your whole body broke out into goosebumps, seemingly trying to fit into the pores of ellie's palm, 

and i think i wanna make it better.

ellie's breath was hot on your ear, and you didn’t realize it, but your head was already tilted. your eyes had begun to flutter closed. you felt yourself, almost swaying against her. your mouth hung as her teeth grazed over sensitive flesh. her tongue pressed against familiar spots that had been untouched -- like the rest of you -- for so, so long. it was too activating.

in your best effort of defense, you spun yourself to turn around to face her. ellie’s head was tilted, her eyes were low. her breath spanned over your mouth while your palm laid flat against her chest. you stalled – shivering, shaking, suddenly caught in a rapture of toiling emotion that you hadn't felt that strongly in .. god knows how long.

her head dipped back into your neck. she pressed her cotton-clad hips against your towel-covered ones, and it just wasn’t enough. it was a lot, and yet, not enough.

your hand snaked over the nape of her neck as you breathed against your cheek, whole body feeling heavy and compliant. your knees were jelly. you could feel your clit. pulsing, and pleading. it ached as you feel ellie's hand slip over the backs of your thighs, inching under the cusps of your ass.

you needed something. you needed anything. you like to think that you had no idea what necessity meant before this moment, because you had never felt it so strongly. it knocked the wind out of you, only leading you to ask – to plead, without pleading,

e... ellie?

and she understood.

ellie’s head lifted from the crook of your neck she crashed her lips upon yours. the kiss was heavy, and deep. your knees buckled, and where you swore you may fall, she made sure you didn’t. you were shuddering, a hand suddenly possessive around the back her neck. her hands suddenly possessive and stabilizing with the grips she held on your ass. months worth of unknown tension relinquished itself in the pushes and pulls you demanded from each other's bodies while teeth clattered and bit into chapped flesh, turned glossy. moans and breaths circumvented between the two of you, and suddenly, the whole room felt like it was on fire.

she delivered a verbal command, teeth tugging at your lower lip as she half-way parted from it, 

jump.

you’d used whatever remainder of your energy to follow the simple instruction, your legs wrapping around ellie's waist like she was your lifeline. they remained around her as your back fell against the duvet, and as she kissed you so deep, your head ran dizzy and your body was left no choice but to arch into her.

you remember your hand smoothing over her abdomen, and reaching up to grab her chest. you remember sighing into her mouth over the fact that you could. you relished in the moan she released your mouth, and only returned it halfway. 

you remember gripping her and massaging her and bucking your bare hips up against her in hopes of making her make that noise again, louder. you remember how she bucked her hips into you in hopes of the same sentiment, her waistband grazing against your bair clit cauisng her to succeed far quicker than you. 

the night was filled with mind-blurring, fuck-until-the-sun-rises kind of sex. sex that you had no idea your body had needed until ellie had given it to you. your body reeled with every kiss that she'd placed over your skin – you’d watched as she peeled back your towel, and replaced bits and segments of the fabric with her lips in soft, attentive kisses.  it was hard to believe that they would transpire into messy, sloppy things. wet, tantilizing things that would trek down the axis of your body. that would hold your body hostage as her tongue and her lips worked on your clit to bring you closer and closer to your third orgasm of the hour. 

your body wasn’t used to it. any of it. it was, however, too used to and hyperaware of having a tiny human in the house that you simply couldn’t wake at this time of night.

you were shuffling, at one point, scrambling to put a hand on your mouth, or to bite your own knuckle.  when that didn’t work, you let your head fall over to a pillow while you fucked up against ellie’s tongue and bit the fabric, trying so hard not to moan. but you felt yourself cracking. 

you’ll never forget how ellie looked up at you. eyes a deep, pointed shade of green as she shook her head – mouth still attached to your clit – which in and of itself had almost made you cry. when she pulled away, it was the only time you let yourself make a noise. only because the whine that was ripped out of you was entirely unanticipated, just like her action.

her breath rippled over your the nerves as she ran her fingertip up, and down your hole. you whimpered, hips shifting up relfexivley, cunt tightening just from the invitation. nearly gushing from the feeling of her beginning to small rub circles against it, instead.

i’ve missed you so fucking much.

she dipped a finger inside of you with such ease, and no warning. a long, slender digit bottomed out inside your cunt, before she pushed in another, and made your jaw go slack. her eyes hung on yours – glossed over with lust and a bit narrow as a result of the devious smile that’d begun to overtake her expression.

she’d begun pumping her fingers.

he’s not here, baby.

it’s just us.

her fingers were so fucking long, you swore to god, you would never want a life without them in it. couldn’t bear another 3, 4, 5 months without having them in you. jesus fuck.

wanna hear you. 

wanna hear you be as loud as you fuckin’ want.

ellie emphasized her words by proceeding to fuck you faster. her tongue latched back onto your clit, rolling over and slurping at the nerves, rolling beads of saliva and your juices into and against the bundle. the sound of your cunt was so encompassing, it was hard to believe that it became the backdrop for the moans that ellie had ripped out of you. that made it into, and mostly out of, the pillow, amidst a sea of praise and bucking hips.

the next morning was luxuriuosly unproductive. ellie had only woke to feed the animals and returned to bed and slept with you until noon. she was always affectionate, come mornings. but especially riding off of the honeymoon buzz of the night prior, she made the morning after memorably tender, often pressing kisses to your forehead, and your shoulder, regardless of how awake both you or she was. she’d whisper sweet nothings into your ear, promises of how much she loved you. how she’s really glad this is how she gets to spend her life, as long as it’s with you. all of the sugary things that eventually caramelize into jokes and giggles and laughter, and that how you’d know it was time to get up.

it’s safe to say that parenthood brought you and ellie both very interesting things. it brought you challenges, and it brought you lows. it brought you highs, and photographs, and moments where you did feel like all of your hard-work was paying off, even when it didn’t seem that way. having a family meant having the opportunity to open your house up to people you who you loved. having a family meant having traditions, and things to fall back on – things that you would develop over time, as you learned more and discovered more of what you wanted. and having a family with ellie meant that you could fall back on each other, no matter how tough things got.

.. it also just meant sometimes having really.. really good sex. 

(whenever you remembered that that was something that the two of you could actually do, that is.)

[quidfree]

hello! i've followed you to indulge in your TSH content, having just finished the book and your fanfic Sober II (Melodrama) back to back! (i'm destroyed!!)

i'm wondering if you've given any thought to whether Richard (Tartt's Richard, or yours) is gay or maybe bisexual? he ofc probably would not make that distinction himself - given the time period, or his aversion to that kind of self reflection, or the apparent finality of his relationship with Francis, or maybe all of the above - but it's fun to think about now, especially myself being someone who now IDs as a lesbian after 10 years of IDing as bi.

thank you for your service 🫡

hello! love your username btw. and thank you, glad to have you in the quidfree extended tartt community.

i like the 'tartt's richard or yours' distinction- i would say i do make an effort so that (to me at least) my richard is a plausible iteration of hers, i.e. i do not like to write so that the characters are 'my' versions unless i think the source material is bad (or at least bad in that specific way). but some of my less serious tsh material veers further into the 'my' side of the scale, for sure. anyway all that to say i don't have separate sets of thoughts on 'both' richards, it's more that there's some stuff i'm 100% on being in canon and some stuff i know i extrapolated into the extended materials my tsh fic constitute.

all that aside, i actually do not have strong feelings on whether richard is gay or bisexual. i think both have strong canon grounding and present similar but slightly different psychologies of the character. the obvious thing is that richard is repressing his attraction to men, but whether he's also comphet in his attraction to women is debatable. he's consistently attracted to them and sleeps with/dates them across all of canon, but on the other hand the key female love interests for him are 1) judy, whose interest he doesn't reciprocate 2) mona, who he sleeps with post murder in a fugue state 3) camilla, who he deifies as a feminine ideal and also always lauds the androgynous beauty/looks she shares with her brother of and 4) sophie, who does lend the most credence to him actually being into girls but also is someone he latches onto when his whole group has deserted him and then fails to emotionally connect with despite several years of dating. of course that could be the trauma, the repression, or both! but my point is there's evidence both ways, no pun intended. richard has very distinct ways of thinking about men and women but it's not as simple as one thing- there's his own self-perception/masculinity, his sexism, his homophobia, and his sexuality all playing a part.

you're right that he wouldn't make the distinction himself, though- either way, his canon thought process is very much 'well i'm not one of those' and that's a catch-all. if and when he gains self-awareness it would have to be through a prolonged relationship of some kind, e.g. with francis in sober ii-verse, because one-offs he can excuse and repress. which is why i think once that sort of long-term realisation happened he would think that he had been lying to himself/everyone the whole time beforehand and secretly consider himself a homosexual (regardless of whether this would be accurate).

i think modern day richard would be more likely to call himself bisexual regardless of which option you go with as more likely. you know that quote from obama's biography about reading marx to get with bisexual college girls... that's somehow richard-coded but in the sense that he thinks calling himself 'flexible' or whatever lets him sound liberated but plausibly heteronormative. in any setting francis delights in the corner he paints himself into.

[shithowdy]

Please tell us more about fallout Oliver (falliver?) did you like the show by the way?

You could say it made me... falliver in love....

That sucked, I'll workshop that one.

I loved the show!! I even did some fanart for it, I never do that! Like a lot of people it was my impetus to actually Play A Game, despite people insisting for years it would be up my alley and getting the old 'I'll add it to my list'. Seeing Cooper run around like a yeehaw maniac had me continuously thinking "oh he and Oliver would be such good friends" and once you start imagining an OC within a setting it's all over for you.

Considering they are both prewar ghouls who served in Alaska as power armor operatives there's a significant chance they do know each other (in WoW, he was a Silver Hand paladin before becoming a DK-- how could I resist the parallels). Maybe one day I'll draw them getting trashed on coke together.

Unlike in WoW, where he deserted on conscience in the middle of the Stratholme culling, he stayed with the military right up until he met an abrupt "retirement" in 2070 after a psycho-induced heart attack inside his armor, an incident that left him deeply traumatized and mistrustful of any sort of organization where you can't say 'no' to a command, which is why he refuses to fully affiliate with the NCR. The "good boy" payout he got for the incident allowed him to retire and purchase his dream ranch in the Jemez Mountains, which he and some fellow hands maintained for seven years until the bombs dropped.

My headcanon is that northern NM didn't get that cooked in the blasts (Alamogordo is presumably a barren field of trinitite, though), but his area was so remote that when communities tried reforming into city-states and pooling their resources, no one could justify the back-and-forth with limited transport options. So he released his small livestock and they all packed up and attempted a cattle drive toward Taos with other ranchers. But winter was setting in, and an irradiated storm from the north blew through in what would be the event that began his ghoulification. Most died, the cattle scattered or also died, and as an absolute husk of an individual he decided "fuck it" and went west with his horse to find the hidden vault that is his son's tomb instead.

And for 200 years he's chased that delusion, not knowing he's been looking in the wrong city the entire time. 👎 He did meet and fall in love with a woman (hi, Senkha!) about 150 years before this RP; they spent decades together and through her he gained experience with psykers and how to wall them out of your surface thoughts with constant music, but he also gained experience with the eventual understanding that most humans grow old and he doesn't. When she passed, he began distancing himself from people.

When he's not scouring the old LA metro haystack for a nonexistant needle, he does mercenary work to support his hobby as a scavenger for prewar memorabilia and civilian tech. His prized possession is a turntable he repaired (and the vinyls he's scavenged for it), and he also has a truck he's completely restored save for the fact that he has no power core for it. So he just sits in it and pretends.

Some mercenary work he did close to their formation put him immediately on the Legion's shit-list, a status in which he takes pride and now goes out of the way to cultivate to the point that he's earned the nickname "Matador" within the NCR. Now that he is traveling with the deserter son of a high-ranking individual in the Legion, life is about to get spicy!

So yeah, I'm having fun. I've joked that this is actually the setting he's supposed to be from and WoW was actually the AU, because my boy was made for this.

[seramilla]

Au were Sera and Emily fall Sera doesn't know Carmilla is still alive so doesn't look for her and instead to survive and support the two of them ends up working for some other overlord. (I know the least about them so I'll go with that guy with a burning skull) Anyway time goes on he turns out to be a horrible boss and person but Sera's signed away her soul to him so she's stuck and isn't willing to talk to Lucifer after siding against him or know anyone else is out there. Anyway she works her way up to his personal assistant and since I want to make her suffer punching bag whenever he gets angry and falling takes away her powers so she can't defend or self or heal magically. At some point he brings Sera to an overlord meeting where Sera recognizes Carmilla but Carmilla doesn't at first Sera doesn't have her wings and since her boss got upset the day before her face is covered in bruises. But eventually she does and is horrified at what happened problem being fireskull is an important and powerful overlord who she can't just kill and be done with it would cause a lot of issues for everyone if she does assuming she succeeds. Sera does send Emily whose soul isn't signed away to live with Carmilla while Carmilla tries to figure out how to get Sera away from him somehow. Also Sera can't exactly talk to Carmilla without getting punished since he is worried someone will sell information so punishes communication with other overlords a lot.

Why do you wanna make Sera a punching bag?? You're breaking my heart!! 😭😭

Someone around here referred to fire skull guy as Bonehead, so that's what I've been calling him. While Carmilla is taking care of Emily, Carmilla's probably having Odette or Clara do recon for her with Bonehead. It would be suspicious if Sera talked to Carmilla directly, but maybe less so if she communicates through one of her daughters. She can keep tabs on her that way.

Carmilla might be able to figure out a way to trick the dude to let go of Sera's contract. He's old, he'd probably be fooled by a phishing email or a gift card scam, for all we know. Either that, or working under the assumption that souls are basically currency, she gives him something he wants more than a single soul, even if it's an angel soul. Maybe that's a stake in her empire, a large shipment of weapons, some of her turf, whatever it takes, I think Sera would do it.

But there would be a clause in there that Bonehead didn't read that makes whatever he traded Sera for practically worthless, like maybe it has a time limit, or it's her least valuable property/turf/whatever, and easy enough to gain the value back. It would take some finagling, but Carmilla would figure something out! I have faith in her!