#maybe on vacation next week?
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providing-leverage Ā· 2 years ago
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Aroace Bumbercatch, Flowers for Dani, PacRim two aces au... I have so many fics I want to work on but no time...
Plus the knowledge that Bumbercatch is Swiss just made me think more about a Sense8 au because that's another one I've always wanted to try my hand at.
(I have been making time by ignoring all the college stuff I should be doing when I'm at home)
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autumnhobbit Ā· 7 months ago
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would you all think that continually rescheduling even up to the last minute before an appointment, regularly switching from call to texting even when iā€™ve said i find texting less helpful because it comes off more brusque, no consistent linear topic directing, constantly directing focus to my day to day life/relationship rather than anything else about me even if i express concern about the rest of it is reason to consider breaking up with a therapist
#i like my therapist but iā€™m just getting to the point i kind of wonder why iā€™m paying for it#i donā€™t feel like anything has really been resolved and i feel like thereā€™s kind of#idk unrealistic expectations of how a man should act when you throw therapy talk at him?#idk#but moreover i just donā€™t know#i donā€™t like the constantly being rescheduled#and then also she always says i can ā€˜reach out to her any time with problemsā€™#and then when i do i get an ā€˜oh iā€™m on vacation so iā€™m not reading that till next weekā€™#or ā€˜have a crucial conversationā€™ i KNOW that#i know thatā€™s what i SHOULD do but for various reasons i canā€™t#maybe a ā€˜howā€™ would be helpful which is what iā€™m looking for#i want to express that i do in fact know my relationship has issues that need to get worked out#but therapy makes me feel like itā€™s kind of my job to force him to change some things and i canā€™t#i feel like any attempt to ā€˜forceā€™ this stuff would just build resentment/contempt and not actually be useful#and again#itā€™s not being EXPLAINED.#itā€™s just ā€˜well hold him accountableā€™ HOW#i have had this therapist for like 3 years and while Iā€™ve made some progress i donā€™t really feel like itā€™s because of therapy per de#i feel like my eating disorder has gotten NO in depth attention whatsoever#like itā€™s just ā€˜why do you think you do thatā€™ ā€˜how do you think you could stopā€™ wow thanks i could ask that myself (and have)
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kuromi-hoemie Ā· 4 months ago
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feeling v proud of myself for eyeing something and thinking ā€œthat seems like it's 70 inchesā€ then it was šŸ˜Œ
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carcarrot Ā· 6 months ago
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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
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roaringroa Ā· 3 months ago
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite ā€œappointmentsā€ i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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golyadkin Ā· 1 year ago
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So because I've got time (and a big wooden circle) on my hands I've decided to make a D20 picker wheel, however I need some help choosing colours for it. It will be painted in the style of these two textured boards I've done in the past
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and will be painted whatever the top two choices are on the poll by the end of day on Friday
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yandereshingeki Ā· 8 months ago
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i feel like ive been awful with interacting with people other than liking recently and I wanna apologize cause i think im in struggle mode right now and i think it makes it hard to form coherent thoughts or read longer things
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queenerdloser Ā· 3 months ago
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in a fit of job-related frustration i briefly went job hunting and while the prospects were bleak enough that i abandoned the exercise pretty quickly, i actually found two library jobs that were so suspiciously perfect for what i want in a job i was kind of like ??? what the fuck. i yearned for a library job back when i was first seriously job hunting in the us in 2020 but i couldnt find anything full time or with decent enough pay. and now TWO (2) jobs that a) are higher level but DON'T require a master's degree, which is shocking enough in itself b) both exceed my current pay rate (????) and c) actually are in my wheelhouse and are jobs i could do well, show up on my radar in the exact week i'm looking at jobs? suspicious!
i applied to both of them mostly just for kicks. i kind of forgot about it last week due to my grad school haze but i just remembered to double check the apps and for the one that closed to applications last weekend i've been moved up to reviewing training/experience... which seems like a good sign???? genuinely don't know what i'd do if i actually get asked to interview but that'd be so funny omfg
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real-life-cloud Ā· 5 months ago
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Think I'm getting sick :(
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lyn-ne Ā· 7 months ago
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hey guys sorry I donā€™t have any pride month art,,,, Iā€™ve been busy
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seaofreverie Ā· 3 months ago
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So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday
#honestly maybe it's better this way. i'd rather just not care at all rather than be super stressed about it#just like i've been doing with every little thing for most of my life#might have missed the date when we were supposed to choose our elective courses. well whatever Lol#and i still don't even know what my schedule is or what classes i have this semester oopsie#well the university itself doesn't seem particularly pressed about giving us the schedule either#but i'd probably better still read up on the classes at least before they start#i don't have high hopes for this year just like with the last. probably should just stop pretending that i still want to study anything atp#this wasn't even my first choice of a course bcs i had to prepare for that damn exam to be accepted for my preffered one#but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea#i'm so tired just thinking about it but i know that actually looking for a job and then having a job will be a thousand times worse so uh#but at least i'd have my own money and start doing something ughhhh. useful maybe. who knows what it will be though#i have no ideaaaaaa. but this feels like just putting off the inevitable. like at some point i need to get my shit together#i will probably report at the end of the next week about how i'm so done already#i don't really knowwww mannnnnm. i don't feel like i had any vacation at all even though 3 months have already passed#and i also sort of didn't prepare something relatively easy to do that would have given me an actual document#that would confirm that i actually finished that part-time school thing last semester#can't really be bothered to come back to it at this point though#well at least i learned something actually useful and interesting from that and that's enough for me tbh#and a lot of it is also relevant to my current area of interest (digital drawing and computer graphics in general)#well speaking of which i'd better just get back to drawing now lol. just one more left to finish!!!#in short i guess that my new way of dealing with stress is just ignoring it all#well it's worked in some way at least so it can't be an entirely bad thing lol#goosepost
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filet-o-feelings Ā· 1 year ago
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fyrewalks Ā· 11 months ago
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i worked Hard today
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orcelito Ā· 4 months ago
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Starting the birth control thing today and it may or may not change my entire demeanor (on account of balancing out my shit hormones bc I apparently have PCOS lol) so if I am a different person after this now you know why šŸ‘
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bumpscosity Ā· 5 months ago
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sorry if my posts get more depressing i'm having another "every time one thing gets better two other things get worse" mental spiral and don't have anywhere to vent about it other than here
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curiosity-killed Ā· 5 months ago
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this whole week has been very long and stressful and today was a hot mess and to top it off, the artistic director finally was like "we should talk about next season" so I'm 99% sure she's going tell me thx bye (probably not even thx tbh) and honestly at this point i am just. so tired
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