#oh this reminded me to pay off my credit card nice
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real-life-cloud · 4 months ago
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Think I'm getting sick :(
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riansdiary · 22 days ago
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BEFORE YOU SEND AN ASK... Please check if your question can be answered here and check if what you're about to ask is in here. Thank you!
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1. Can I manifest...
The answer to this question is always yes. You can manifest anything you want as long as you can imagine having it.
2. I wanna manifest ____ but...
Okay so for this, I would rather have you tell me what you need help on in manifesting without the circumstances. You can tell me what you're not understanding about it and what you're having a hard time processing about manifesting instead. More so generally like "Hey Rian, I'm not seeing it in the 3d and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I need you to understand that the only one who's keeping that in your reality is you. Why? Attention is our currency (I learned from Neyah and various people) and what you focus on always, you will get more of it.
That's really important and we need to tell everyone about this more. I had a hard time myself before because I was paying attention to what I don't want. Pay attention to your affirmations and positive thoughts and good things. This is why I like the method of following my happiness when I'm resistant and paying attention to what I don't want cause it helps me take my mind off it.
So many of my asks have this exact question. While I'm not angry at it, of course not. It just gets repetitive and they're mostly paying attention to what they don't want and accepting the 3d as a fact. See your desires and affirmations as facts instead. Accept and internalize that more. Please do not contradict your affirmations. Keep saying yes and agreeing to them being true instead. Leave the 3d alone. It doesn't have any meaning except the meaning you give it.
You were saying it's done I have this thing then suddenly you saw something in the 3d and you gave it meaning.
"Oh this means he doesn't want me."
"Oh my God no it's not working!"
"Oh no where is it? I affirmed so much, we should be rich by now"
You contradicted yourself and gave it meaning but you could have done this instead:
You don't accept it as a fact. You keep thinking your desire is a fact already.
For SP:
"It doesn't have any meaning. Oh he's still so in love with me.
For money: looking at your wallet with not much money.
"Oh I don't have much cash, all my money is in the bank and I like to use credit cards. Been using my black card lately. I'm so rich."
Stop letting a dead reality that's just reflecting you to change your mind. Try and practice this with small desires.
IF 👏 YOU 👏 SAY 👏 IT'S 👏 IN 👏 YOUR 👏 REALITY 👏 THEN 👏 IT 👏 IS 👏
You're the boss! Don't forget that. It's not "the 3d is the boss", sometimes everyone needs that reminder. Seek validation from your mind! You say how it is! You just need to keep going inwards. Even just reminding yourself gently whenever you think about it is enough.
IT'S 👏 ALREADY 👏 HERE 👏
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3. I have a stubborn mind.
This is not an attack. I just wrote this here to remind you that ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS ARE AFFIRMATIONS and that YOU CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE TRUE OR NOT.
Please, let's stop saying things like this. You are persisting on a negative affirmation. You could accept instead that you believe and accept your affirmations as facts immediately.
Just wanted to remind everyone that you just need to change your mind and your assumptions.
4. The law of assumption is fake.
Then why are you here? I've answered these kinds of asks multiple times and it's getting annoying. If that's your belief then it's fine but why are you here in Loablr then? It doesn't make any sense. So don't believe it, if that's what you want. You don't need to go to multiple loa bloggers and tell them your BS beliefs for no reason.
5. Cute little messages for me 🫶
I just wanna say thank you to all the anons who have been extra nice to me and told me kind things! Thank you so much!!! It really makes my day and I appreciate it! 🥰
6. Hateful, mean or kill yourself asks
Please refrain from doing this. You can do it to me all you want, I won't be affected at all because I know I'm in the right but please don't do this to any other Loa bloggers. It's harmful. I'm warning you now, I can be savage when it comes to any person doing this. You're just wasting your time on something negative and bad. I won't stop telling you that it's WRONG to do this.
If you don't have anything nice to say, kindly click away from my blog or someone else's. Be kind. I know you could be going through something so I can understand that but it's still a bad thing to do so please stop this, thank you.
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neonfretra · 2 months ago
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making hockey edits as a total newbie
having completed my first poetry edit its both easier and harder than i thought! which is pretty exciting considering the fact i have a poem in the back pocket that reminded me of the sharks. its WAY longer and i probably dont REALLY want to actualize it. but. fun process! talking about my process below the cut :)
concept
the inspiration was wanting to make a pickles edit and his number is 44 (and there are SO many sharks players that couldnt take 44 because of him. i mean it so seriously i hope they retire his number solely to inconvenience everyone for the rest of this franchises lifespan)
i dont think hes super widely known because:
the sharks are bad
marc edouard vlasic is bad
so i doubt the narrative of the edit makes much sense LOL
long story short, he used to be REALLY good. never got acknowledged for it in the broader scope. fell off with age . makes him super unpopular because hes signed 8x7m (shout out to past gm doug wilson) and hes bad. hes played with the sharks for the second most amount of games (second to patrick marleau who is like. THE shark of all time. hes so shark they call him mr shark. so if you grade on a curve...?) .
i love our shriveled husk!
the first image (the title card) came way before everything else actually, sort of my proof of concept and proof that i could actually make anything its very young pickles! that image is like. 7 years old
collecting images
all images (not including text overlays) were pulled directly from getty images
i got around the watermark kind of stupidly! most of the time, you can get around it by just pulling it from newsites that did pay for the rights to the image (reverse image search is a pal) or by checking social medias for reposts by the photographer or team (harder for me because i dont use any social media, use instagram only when necessary because it CRUNCHES)
i used mspaint.
it shows.
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(brian babineau)
yeah it was by literally pasting the thumbnail (upsized by about 334% i believe?) on top of the image which is why its such a mess of pixels . the nice thing about the human eye is that it kind of smooths over the image if you dont look too closely . other times the texture of the image is so crunchy already that it doesnt actually make a difference.
(i DID edit the right image i just. cant see it?????)
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(left: kavin mistry, rightt: noah graham)
for simpler shapes i did try to use an airbrush to fix it but its not super noticeable so.
the important thing was not using photos where theres a watermark over the main focus because im not making it look good enough to pass .
are there easier ways? oh god yeah. for sure. am i using them? well if you scroll back up
human centipeding images together
hardest part was the photos that mashed images together:
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(man just check the original post for credits)
these were NIGHTMARES (now text free!) i have all the things i edited as separate layers if anyone ever wants quinn hughes disembodied hand or two pickles
making image two
the concept of this one was the second, but i had the final image ready to go second and finished it last. i finished this one second after fighting for my life to compile the images for it
the ideas straightforward enough: pickles on ice with the puck, other prominent defensemen going through the motions of a shot edited in. this is when pickles is like. capital g Good
compiling the pictures were easy enough? the hardest one was actually finding one of pickles HAHAHAHA
fun fact is that i chose a bunch of right shooters by coincidence. actually a miracle that i didnt notice until comparing pickles to them in editing. which i did extremely haphazardly (seriously i was guessing when resizing them
i did all this in an art program that didnt have the ability to select the subject so i hand erased the background. i keep mentioning it but if i had to work around erik karlssons hair i get to complain about it.
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first time using the soft eraser if that means anything. the green background was to help me tell what i had and hadnt erased yet
this one took me the longest by far and had me questioning the decisions that lead up to this point the most.
making image three
PAINFUL. there are five different peoples hands on this thing and i spent most of it trying to choose hands that were interesting poses+decorations and in different places. didnt bother removing the watermark on any of the hands because why do i want to make more work for myself. erik karlssons second hand did not make the cut (watermarked)
the nice thing IS that there is a sort of photoshoot they have with consistent angles and lighting. i proceeded to spend way too much time aligning five different photos on top of this to make sure the hands are in the right place and about the right size.
an interesting bit of the editing is that the colors on the trophy photo were actually an afterthought! because it looks kind of nothing.
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it looks nice next to the second image because of the cymk coloring but the problem was that the first three images had colorful elements to them and the fourth is just text on the image
adding text
alt title: OH GOD IMAGE FOUR IS SO NOTHING.
image 3 uses my favorite quote about pickles believe it or not ^_^
If you are new to hockey or are newer to the San Jose Sharks fanbase, you will see the withered shell Vlasic is of his former self and think that any conversation about immortalization in Toronto is beyond the bounds of possibility.
insane someone wrote this about another person. quite chuffed that you can read that phrase in the final image!
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image four babe im so sorry you are so underbaked. the article on THAT one is literally just about the 1000th game celebration. but also its hella ironic
“I’m still the same guy I was when I came in, just 14 years older,” Vlasic said. “Plays the same way, does the same things, plays against the same players. Just 14 years older.”
whole lotta people want this man GONE because hes flopping so hard. everyone and they momma taking bets on when hes getting bought out. its BAD LMAO i hope they sign him another 8 years
in reflection
edits are way easier than i thought they were to make with zero knowledge of the medium! i had no idea what i was doing but i made something i feel extremely proud of, take a shot at it sometime ^_^
something i kind of struggled with was making something that felt interesting and unique but unified as a whole piece? i dont approach things with a visual "theming" in mind and i more or less tripped up on the colors LOL
give it a shot! a spin, even! oickles.
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wilted-yellow-flowers · 8 months ago
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two and a half weeks before Easter I had to fly to Taipei from Lower Matecumbe through Key West and San Francisco for family reasons. because of a key lime pie, some very aggressive desire to not impose, and a sword shaped key chain, along with a whole bunch of other mistakes, I didn't get to the airport far enough ahead of time and missed my flight. I then had to be driven from Key West to Fort Lauderdale, spend the night in tht brightest and noisiest airport on the face of the fucking planet,
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slept face down on my backpack on some chairs and woke up with the zipper pressed into my face.
I flew to San Francisco from Fort Lauderdale and wandered into a Sunglasses Hut, thinking,
"I wear my sunglasses all the time now, living in the Keys. I haven't had much money because of my shit, absolutely garbage job that doesn't pay me, plus missing this flight cost me a lot, and it's kind of expensive to have to fly to Taipei, better just try on."
I walk in and don't like any of the ones the saleswoman is giving me to try on. I want mirrored aviators. Ray-Bans. she clearly disagrees with the ones I want but reminds me that the second pair is $60 off with their current promotion. I tell her,
"hey thanks for showing me around I'm just going to order these online by myself"
and she hands me an ipad. "you want custom ones right?"
I don't see a way out and I think I've actually forgotten I was trying to escape? or probably I forgot I was trying to escape in order to save money. I remembered I wanted to leave and it seemed like the fastest way to get to leave the store was to just buy some sunglasses?
I don't remember why but she said some kind of customization wasn't available on the frames I chose but! the second pair is $60 off! so I could get a SECOND pair with a different frame but that customization it would be perfect. I remember tapping through the customization screen. I remember there was a couple in there looking at Gucci sunglasses with the other attendant. I remember waving my phone over the credit card reader? and almost leaving without my receipt.
I walk all the way to the curb and was ordering a Lyft home when I get a phone call? from the sunglasses hut. dazed, I pick up,
"hello?"
"hey this is Brenda from Sunglasses hut, ummm you live in San Francisco right, maybe I could ship your luggage to you?"
"oh, no, I'm still at the airport. I'm just outside, let me head towards the security gate so you can hand it to me"
"what?"
"you can just bring my suitcase to me, I'm still at the airport"
"oh okay good, you didn't leave because you knew you left your luggage right?"
"uh actually no, I didn't know at all"
"what the heck. you. you didn't know?
okay where are you? oh I see you I'll bring it out"
I'm like standing on the other side of the glass waving at her store and the security guy already glared at me once and barked, "hey no reentry"
she brought out my luggage and was so confused why I wasn't panicking or super grateful or anything. mostly I was tired as hell. at this point it had been well over 24 hours since I had left my bed in Lower Matecumbe.
I wandered around the underground parking garage for a little while, with my suitcase. frustrated that I couldn't find the designated share ride pickup area. turns out I went down instead of up at one point and ended up at the right place but four floors down.
The driver tries to make small talk with me and I decline. I tell my discord friends I may have accidentally spent $435 on two pairs of sunglasses that will arrive in my house in the Bay Area when I am still in Taipei.
the lyft takes over an hour to get to my house from the airport, I don't live in San Fransisco. I spend one nice day at home and then I take another Lyft back to the airport, and after a 12 hour flight, I have to deal with my family in Taiwan.
I don't want to talk about that part much. it was pretty harrowing. it was Good to see family I haven't seen in a really really long time. I was going to go back in 2021 but there was a travel restriction for Americans because we were handling the pandemic so badly.
I wasn't there for good reasons, really. but it was good to get a chance to say hi. I leave my electric toothbrush at the resort we stayed at. I call them and my aunt gives them her phone number and address so that she can mail it to California when they find it.
after 9 days it is a 10 hour flight home, and then one night sleeping at home, (I retrieve my sunglasses from the porch) and then a 4 hour flight to Houston. My flight to Key West gets delayed. I buy Starbucks for breakfast. its an hour late. the Starbucks at the airport is full of teenagers. there must be a field trip. they are out of oat milk and I settle for almond. 2 and a half hour flight to Key West. my friend finds me and then it's a 1 hour drive to the camp where my they work. I can cook and eat dinner, and another hour drive from there to where I work and sleep.
the guy who can drive me to where we work is still working so I hang around waiting for him to finish working and then he drives me back and on the way back, I realize that oh fuck the full moon isn't on Easter. it's tonight! I'm tired as hell but I've got to do it, I've got the wine and the candle and a lighter. I've never been to that beach at night but I can do it today.
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desperatepleasures · 1 year ago
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my financial situation is Unideal rn but it's fine cause I have money saved up like. far more savings than I will blow through but also I need to figure out how to sustain things long term and that's going to be difficult
and like sometimes it just hits me that like. that was supposed to be my wedding fund, you know? but also guess what it's better that I'm spending that money on myself and not on a wedding that was never going to happen with a person who resented me and hadn't shown me any affection in years!!! my health and happiness are a far better investment!!!
just gotta remind myself a lot of these expenses have been one time things. the mattress and bedframe, the adhd assessment, the dilators, hell the vibrators I bought after the breakup...those are all purchases I don't have to make again for the foreseeable future. and the doctor expenses will settle down a bit, pt appts will only be every week for a few more weeks. my insurance should cover most of my allergy testing, I still have to figure out if it'll cover the shots but those won't last forever either!! and the clothes I've bought recently are hopefully things that will last a while and even tho they were a fun purchase I also did kinda have to replace some stuff that didn't fit + I needed more stuff for winter...so it's okay it's okay it's okay it's not forever
....lol on the other hand my credit score has gone up to 825???? so I guess all the spending and paying off my cards counts for something lmao. not that having a high credit score will help me in any way at this point in my life but it's nice to know
but either way I do need to figure out a Plan budget wise but I won't really know what my long term expenses are until things are settled with the psych + allergist appts...oh well!!!
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myherowritings · 4 years ago
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PART 5. THE INHERENT EROTICISM OF BUTTONING SOMEONE’S CLOTHES
SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.
PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader
WORD COUNT. 3.0k
GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut
WARNINGS. sexual tension !! and umm sexual frustration ;p, not explicit but prob rated 16+, just read the title of this chapter BAHAHA
A/N. sorry this is coming a little later than planned ! :( but i hope the dressing room scene can make up for it u.u tysm for reading and for all the feedback! enjoy :3 xx sof
SERIES MASTERLIST
© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.
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What were you supposed to wear to a shopping date? you asked yourself. Not that today was a date or anything. Though maybe you sort of wished it were… 
The Naruhata Charity Gala was in a little over a week and Shouto would be coming over to pick you up in less than one hour and you still sat in your room with nothing but a towel on feeling more and more hopeless. 
It was a strange dilemma. He met you in your work apron wearing an unflattering work shirt and work pants. And when you met up over the weekend previously, you never paid too much mind on what you would wear. In fact, you were positive he wouldn’t even care how you looked. So why was it such a big deal to you now? 
Probably because of your recent admission of your growing feelings towards him, you thought crossly. 
In your defense, it wasn’t like it was your fault! Right? Seeing someone everyday… Wanting to see someone everyday… Texting regularly about the most random things, having the most banal objects you saw throughout the day remind you of something Shouto did or said… With all those occurrences it would’ve been practically impossible to not start crushing on him! 
Time passed as you stared at your ceiling blankly. If you kept this up, he was bound to show up in your house and find you half-naked. (Now that you mentioned it, that didn’t sound like the worst idea. But it wasn’t something you’d randomly spring upon someone.)
“Get up, Y/N!” you scolded yourself, rolling off your bed and heading towards your closet. 
In the end, you ended up settling for another variation of your usual go-to outfit and called it a day. It happened to be perfect timing since, by the time you finished getting ready, you got a new message on your phone. 
Shouto: Parked in front of your place
Shouto: Sorry I’m a little early. You can take your time getting ready :)
Y/N: it’s okay i’m ready now!! 
After hitting send, you put your shoes on, gathering your belongings you wanted to bring with you, and headed out the door. Excited to hang out with Shouto again, you walked with a skip in your step down the path until you reached his car. 
“Hi!” You waved through his half-opened, tinted window. To no one’s surprise, his car was a sleek black color with dark, tinted windows, and gold details along the sides. If it didn’t look so oddly sexy you would’ve laughed at how cutely dorky he was for matching his car with his credit card. “This is one hot car.”
He turned his head to the side when you entered the passenger’s seat. “Should I turn the AC higher?” 
“Huh— Oh!” You stifled a giggle when you processed the pun he made. “You’re funny, Shouto.” 
He only looked a little confused. “Thank you.” 
The interior of his car was no less—for lack of better term—sexy than the outside. Leather seats, a large screen for the radio and carplay, and the dashboard and side doors lit up a nice blue color. 
“Pretty!” you complimented, poking at the colorful light.
“Want to pick a color?” 
Your eyes widened. “It can change colors?!” 
Shouto nodded.
“Can it be pink?” you asked intently. 
“Light pink or hot pink?”
“Light.”
He swiftly obliged and with a hit of a touchscreen button, the interior lighting changed from blue to pastel pink. 
“Green!”
It turned green.
“Orange!”
Cue the orange. 
“Purple?” 
Purple. 
Once you were thoroughly satisfied with Shouto showing you the whole color selection (you were almost embarrassed to admit it kept you entertained for a good ten minutes), you settled on a bright turquoise that reminded you of the color of his left eye. 
“Ooh, this color! My favorite,” you said simply, giving him a wide smile. 
A faint blush dusted his cheeks as he developed a sudden interest in adjusting his rearview mirror. “Hm.”
Shouto drove the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, occasionally asking how your week was outside of work and what type of outfit you wanted to wear so he could have a better idea on where to take you. 
“Did you eat?” he suddenly asked when he hit the next stoplight, one hand holding the wheel and the other resting comfortably on the gear shift. 
His hands looked nice and slender and soft to the touch. Pretty hands, you thought but shook yourself out of it because you could go down a rabbit hole of examining his hands and going into detail about them. 
You remembered the single, measly granola bar you had due to your rush getting ready. “I didn’t really eat yet, no. Did you?”
He shook his head and pulled into a food plaza with lots of stores to choose from. The two of you agreed on a noodle restaurant that apparently had some of the best cold soba (once you learned it was his favorite food, you wanted to be able to have some with him and today was the perfect opportunity to do just that) and promptly headed to the location. 
In the shop, a waiter sat the two of you down at a dimly lit booth with the perfect amount of ambience that if someone were to casually look over, they might even mistake this outing as a date. 
You grinned at the thought. 
“Excited for the soba?” asked Shouto, examining the smile on your face thoughtfully. 
That’s not why you were smiling, but it was close enough. “Mhm. And the udon. You can never go wrong with noodles!” 
Yes, you got both udon and soba. But in your defense, where else would the fun in life be if not in sugary sweets and carbs? 
As the two of you waited for your main dishes, you ate some fish cakes and edamame while talking about the ways in which capitalism could be dismantled. Rather sexy of him, if you did say so yourself. 
Before you knew it, you were done with your meal and headed back into his car to go fancy-people shopping. On the remainder of the ride, you asked yourself what color you should pick that would match well with both you and Shouto. After all, nothing said a cute couple who totally liked each other going on a totally real date to a gala like color-coordinated outfits, right?
He parked in front of a street of buildings with a dark glass reaching from ceiling to floor with security guards at the door. Just standing near it made you feel fancy. 
“This is a place my sister told me she liked,” he said, leading you to the store front with his hand on the small of your back to guide you. “I hope you’ll find something to your liking.”
You tried your best not to pay too much attention to the warmth you felt both on your back and your stomach from the fuzzy feelings that spread. 
“Hello, welcome!” the both of you were greeted as you walked through the doors. The interior of the store was lined with designer dresses, some long, some short, and all incredibly stunning. There were only a few other patrons in the store, but all of them looked so elegant as they tried on their dresses. “It’s so lovely to see you again Mr. Todoroki.”
Shouto nodded subtly. “Hello. This is Y/N, my date to the gala who’ll need your assistance today.”
“Hi!” you chimed in at his cue. “Nice to meet you.” 
The worker smiled and made her way over to you. “And you as well. I’m Masuda and I’ll do my best to make sure you leave the store satisfied with your purchase! Did you have a particular style or perhaps color in mind?”
“Umm,” you said sheepishly, looking around the wide variety of clothings and unsure where to start. “I’m not too sure. It’s my first time going to one of these things so maybe something comfortable, but also still...fancy?” You scratched the back of your neck. “Does that even exist?”
“Of course— Just have to find something that feels comfortable to you.” She told you to hold on one moment as she disappear into the rows of fabric. 
As Masuda collected some starter dresses for you to try on, a customer walked by with bags of clothes in her hands, her gaze lingering on Shouto, though neither of you paid her much mind. 
“In this setting, you look almost fit to be a sugar daddy,” you said jokingly, looking around in awe at the sophisticated yet lavish dresses. “You take all your sugar babies here?”
“Only the ones I really like,” he teased back. His voice was deadpan but there was the telltale hints of a smirk on his face to let you know he was only messing with you.
The door chimed to signal that a customer left and by then Masuda had returned with bundles of fabric draped on her arm. She led you away in a hurry and you hesitantly looked back at Shouto who followed in a safe distance. Seeing your moment of panic, he gave you an encouraging smile that somehow was enough to ease a significant fraction of your nerves. This may be new and confusing territory, but at least he was here to help you through it. 
Masuda set a dressing room up for you—it was one of those rooms in the middle of the store with curtains that reached the ceiling and mirrors all around—and placed a bunch of outfits she thought would suit your taste. It reminded you of when a bride would go wedding dress shopping with their family. When you had enough outfits for the first round, she told Shouto to sit down on a leather seat in front of your dressing room while he waited for you to try the different dresses on. 
In a way, it felt oddly intimate: Shouto sitting just a few feet in front of you as you undressed, only separated by the veil of a curtain. Would he offer to help button the back of your dress up, fingers brushing against your bare skin? The thought made you feel almost hot inside as you changed out of your street clothes and into the first dress. 
Unfortunately for you, this dress had no such difficult buttons to reach. 
“How’s it look?” you asked shyly as you emerged from the dressing room. 
The dress was pretty and didn’t feel uncomfortable to walk in, but there wasn’t any sort of attachment you felt towards it. In other words, it was simply...meh. 
Shouto looked up from his phone to take in the sight of you. He smiled. “You look amazing as always.” 
“You think so?” You spun around and curtseyed jokingly and he chuckled. “I don’t think it’s bad, but I’m not sure if it’s the right one.” 
“We’ll be here until you find the right one you want, then. Take your time, Y/N.” 
His voice was normally on the deeper side, but it sounded even more sensual and gravelly at this very moment. You felt goosebumps on your arms and it wasn’t just because of the sleeveless dress you currently had on. 
“T-Thanks, Shouto,” you murmured, turning around and walking back into the changing room to hide the look on your face. You didn’t even know what kind of look you had on your face, but you knew it was one that might give too much away. 
It wasn’t fair that he had to be so sweet and caring and thoughtful and handsome and rich… Most guys you met barely fit into one of those criteria, let alone all five. (Sure, the last two weren’t necessary in your opinion, but you couldn’t deny they were a nice bonus.) It was too bad you had no clue how he felt about you. 
There were moments where he felt flirty and teasing, like maybe he viewed you in a more-than-friends way. But other times he was so polite and proper and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was just being nice because that’s simply the sort of person he was to everyone. 
While you were trying to sort through all your thoughts, you completely forgot to change into a new dress the whole time you were in here. 
You saw a shadow at the floor of the curtain before a voice said, “Y/N? Are you okay in there?” 
Jumping at the sound, you scurried to put the next dress on, a blue one with almost translucent fabric and a delicate neckline. Judging from the proximity of Shouto’s voice and the shadow of his shoes, he was right next to you as you changed. 
“I’m okay!” you managed, hoping you didn’t sound as wobbly as you felt. You held the dress closed at the back, fumbling with the fastens. “I just, ah, needed help buttoning this one up.” 
A light ruffle on the curtain then a pause. “Should I...come in and help?” 
Your eyes widened, not expecting him to actually offer to button it up like you fantasized earlier. You fully thought he might called the worker to aide you just so he wouldn’t risk making you uncomfortable. (Not that he would’ve. At all.) 
“I apologize,” he said somewhat tensely after you didn’t respond. “That was indecent of me—”
“No, no!” you said profusely, poking your head out of the curtain while holding the fabric at the front of your dress to your chest. You tilted your chin to meet his gaze with a determined one of your own. “I’d love your help, Shouto.” 
With a dusting of pink coloring his cheeks, he nodded and entered your dressing room. “This dress is a nice color on you.” His voice was loud against the silence. 
Shouto ran his hand down the length of your spine and then up to unfold the column of buttons on your dress that curved inwards at your movement, his knuckles grazing against your skin like lightning striking water. You jolted at the sudden feeling but he didn’t remove his touch when he felt it.
“Sorry.” His voice was low, almost like a whisper. “Was just getting the buttons out.”
“N-No worries!”
His fingers began working on the bottom-most button at your lower back as he applied a steady pressure on the base of your spine to control the motion. Shouto slowly began his way up, fingertips cold to the touch. But you knew that wasn’t the only reason you felt yourself shiver. As he fastened the dainty buttons with immense concentration (much more concentration than was actually needed to fasten buttons, you were sure), you felt the heat of his breath tickling the back of your neck. You almost couldn’t keep yourself from arching your back in a mixture of anticipation and delight at his constant touch. 
When he finished the last button, Shouto let one hand rest on your hip, grasping the fabric between his fingertips to examine its silken texture. Your breath caught in your throat as you stepped back and bumped into his chest, but he was already there to steady you. 
With his arm on your waist and your back leaning against his chest, you made eye contact through the mirror in front of you. You weren’t sure if the pounding you felt was from your heart or his or a combination of both. 
There was something almost erotic about holding each others’ gaze in the mirror after Shouto just helped you dress, the two of you still not letting the other go despite the task being complete. 
“The dress… You look gorgeous,” he said, not taking his eyes off you for one moment. 
You nodded slowly. It did look amazing on you. And it was breathable and soft. (Plus, Shouto liked it, which made you happier than you’d care to admit.) “The only downside would be I need help getting into it.”
“We could get ready together so it’s no issue.” 
“I’d...also need help getting out of it.” 
You held your breath as his eyes darkened, his grip on your waist tightening ever so slightly in a way that made you curve your back before you remembered you were flush against Shouto and he could feel even the most subtle of movements coming from your body. But by the time you stopped yourself, it was too late. He already felt it and you wanted more.
His voice was hoarse. “I could help you with that too.”
Instead of beginning to unbutton the dress like part of you thought he would, he surprised you by spinning you around to face him, your shoulder blades pressed against the cool glass of the mirror and your palms lingering on the muscles of his warm chest. The contrast of the cold glass and Shouto’s body heat left a shiver down your spine.
“And how do you plan to help take off my dress when you can’t even see the buttons?” you said challengingly, a smirk on your face despite knowing full well your body was showcasing just how affected you were by this situation. By Shouto.
He tilted his head to the side in response to your daring tone, hands swiftly finding their way to your back and unbuttoning the top five buttons. It wasn’t enough to completely expose your breasts, but it was enough to loosen the fabric at the neckline in a way that made you gasp. 
“Seems doable to me,” he commented. 
You tugged him down slightly by the collar of his shirt. “I don’t quite believe you. Maybe you should prove it.” 
A guttural noise sounded from the back of his throat as he cupped your jaw and leaned in closer. You inched forward, eager to meet his lips. But before they could touch, a knock came from the wall next to the curtain, causing the two of you to freeze in your spots, bodies pressed against each other in an intimate flush.
“Hello, Y/N?” said Masuda cheerfully, blissfully ignorant about what was about to happen in a public dressing room in the middle of the store. “How are the dresses coming along? Did you like any?”
“Ah, actually…” you trailed off, exchanging frustrated but amused glances with Shouto. “I think we’ll take this one.”
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a/n: so...mirror sex/sex in a dressing room as a bonus chapter? u.u why yes of course. i’m one step ahead; did u even have to ask? LMAO and hm i wonder if y/n’s fEeLiNGs~ are reciprocated skfkfkdg ALSO THEY WERE SO CLOSE TO KISSING BUT DIDN’T I CRY hopefully the wait will be worth it ;3
what to expect in the next part:
GALA TIMEEEE
yes y/n finally gets the fancy candy they so desired
we get to see shouto’s sexy penthouse
shouto says eat the rich >:c
2K notes · View notes
yeojaa · 4 years ago
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( DEVIL IN A NEW SUIT. )
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Money’s something that makes the world go around.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with securing the bag.  You don’t shame anyone for doing what they need to do.  
That is, until you come face to face with the poor guy that’s being suckered out of both his heart and cash.  You simply can’t let it go on.
pairing.  jjk x f!reader.
genre + rating.  idiots to lovers.  fluff, angst, smut.  the holy trifecta, babies!  explicit, obviously.  
tags / warnings.  mentions of infidelity, kook being adorable and sad, reader being a bit of a tactless butthole, a satin playsuit (very nsfw), kook does a 180, smut in the form of: a slight oral fixation, too much spit, overstimulation, pussy slapping, unprotected sex (pls don’t be irresponsible).
wc.  12.2k of nonsense.  pure nonsense, i tells ya. 
beta reader(s).  @hobi-gif​ did what she always does aka read through this and made me a better writer and @yeoldontknow​ dealt with my big dumbass and let me cry about my pea brain to her.  i love you both sm!!!  ✨💜
author note.  the long-awaited fic is here!!  i really hope you enjoy it.  if you do, please maybe leave a comment or something?  i swung back and forth between loving and hating this so it’d really, really mean a lot.  anyway, thanks as always for reading and i adore you!  stay safe and happy and healthy!
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He’s a sucker.  That’s what you think of him, despite the fact you’ve never met him.  It’d be impossible not to, given what you’ve heard. 
His girlfriend - or something - is in every other week, flashing his black card like she has something to prove.  Sometimes, she’s by herself;  often, she’s with another gaggle of girls that fawn all over themselves and shriek a little too loudly for your taste.  They’re vapid, snooty in a way that makes you cringe every time they step into the boutique.  Still, you’re nice because this is your job and you have to be.  You can’t exactly tell a paying customer to get lost - even if you think it at least six times each visit. 
“He has no idea.”  It’s always the same thing, a story that pulls at your heartstrings yet has you scoffing in equal parts.  “I told him we were doing a girls’ trip but Hyunjin’s going to meet me on his way back and we’re spending the week at the Ritz.”
How can he possibly be this dumb, you wonder.  How can’t he see past the pretty pink lipstick and perfectly coiffed blonde hair?  It isn’t even that nice of a colour job - too icy and reminiscent of Malibu Barbie. 
(She’d bragged about it once - how she’d gotten an appointment at one of the most coveted salons in the city, spending hours in the stylist’s chair to get this “perfect shade”.  Her words, not yours.)
You figure he must be some lonely schmuck, some poor old sap who can’t possibly get what he’s looking for anywhere else.  Maybe he had some weird spoiling kink - if so, where was your man like that - or he just wanted companionship and found it in the arms of girls who paid him any sort of attention.  Truthfully, you thought a lot of things about him.  Kind of had to, given how often his girlfriend was in, rambling about her exploits and snickering behind his back.
You’d never expected him to be like this.
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Jeon Jungkook shows up on a Sunday afternoon, shortly after lunch and with the dopiest smile on his face. 
Your colleague notices him first, nudging you to attention because you, unlike her, actually do productive things while you’re at work like go through layaways and make sure items aren’t sitting in the back gathering dust.
“He’s cute,”  she very poorly whispers, voice carrying because it always does.  She’s a younger girl - maybe a few years your junior, who’d gotten her job through pure nepotism - but she’s sweet enough.  Zero tact, though.  Never notices when she’s being just a little too forceful with her sales but her sweet smile and full rack seem to keep her from getting into any trouble.  You consider her a vaguely annoying sister, someone you love even when you don’t necessarily like her.
You glance up from the iPad balanced in your hands, disinterested.  “Who?”
There’s an older couple striding past the entrance, hand-in-hand with three Hermes bags.  (God, what awful taste.)  There’s another couple standing at the mouth of the Louis Vuitton boutique, bickering about which belt will best match the boyfriend’s tux best.  (The answer is neither, because those belts do not belong with a classic black tux.)
“Him.”
Yejin all but points him out, jerking her chin in his direction.  You don’t know how you hadn’t really clocked him in the first place.  Maybe because he’s so unassuming that you’d just brushed over him, noting his outfit before moving on.  When you look at him - really look at him - you can’t look away.
You think he’s handsome in that off-kilter kind of way, too-big teeth and too-wide eyes.  He’s terribly innocent looking, despite the fact that he’s wearing a gleaming gold Rolex and sleek black boots you recognise from Prada’s 2019 RTW.  Everything he wears is tailored, fitting him to the point you wonder who his seamstress  is.  
But then he speaks, and it’s not the suave, sultry voice you’d expect.  It’s featherlight and almost shy, bashful in its delivery.  
“I’m here to pick up a bag for my girlfriend?”  He upspeaks.  It’s stupidly adorable.
Bless her soul, Yejin throws a glance in your direction first.  A silent ‘yours or mine?’ that’s answered when you step forward, blindingly bright customer service smile in full effect.  “What’s the item and the name it’s under?”  You keep in mind he’s said girlfriend very clearly, even as you can’t help but trail your stare over his shoulders, the dimple that digs itself into his cheek when he speaks again.
“Oh, it’s under mine.  Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.” 
You’re floored.  This is Jeon Jungkook?  This specimen draped in leather and fine Japanese silk is the poor idiot wrapped around Barbie’s finger?  You’ve got to be kidding.
You wonder whether the surprise is evident on your face.  It must be, given how quickly Yejin interrupts, piping up in that saccharine sweet voice of hers.  “I’ll grab it!  The Box bag in cloud, right?”
Jungkook can only nod dumbly.  He has no idea what he’s there to pick up - only that he needs to because his girlfriend is away on a trip with her two best female friends.  He tells you as much, chuckling at his own ignorance.  It’d be cute if it weren’t so sad, his eyes twinkling like the jewels set in your ears.  There’s so much love in his eyes it’s frankly sickening.  
It comes before you can help it, snapping off your tongue - an oil spill ready to drag him to the depths of hell.
“Oh - you’re Kiko’s boyfriend?  I thought you’d left for Hong Kong already.”  Your head tilts - the picture of innocence as you continue to spew things you shouldn’t, staining the innocence of his expression with each word that drops off.  “She said she was leaving on Friday.”  Even while you’re tearing this poor man’s life apart, you’re racking your brain for the off-handed comments she’d made.  “She kept going on and on about how she was so excited to be staying at the Ritz.”
It’s almost like you gain some sick sort of satisfaction in watching his face fall.  You’ve never seen someone crumble so quickly, every ounce of affection swept up and spat out in the time it takes you to take a solid, proper breath.  
You do feel bad.  Not for saying it, but for being the person to do this.  For hurting this stranger.  (At least he knew?)
“I think you have me mistaken for someone else.”  Gone is the sunny friendliness, the blissful geniality.  He’s very much uncertain, bunny teeth digging into the full swell of his bottom lip.  He’s pigeon-toed and round-shouldered, thick brows drawn neatly over his stare as he focuses on some indeterminate point somewhere by his feet. 
If Yejin were on the floor with you, she’d tell you to knock it off.  Chastise you for getting involved in something you had no business being in.  (She’d be right, but you’ve always been an advocate for tough love.)  As it stands, she’s still in the back finding that stupid girl’s bag and you’re here, shaking your head, weakening Jungkook’s resolve with the edge of your teeth.  “No, she definitely said she was going away with her boyfriend.  Did you maybe give us the wrong name?”
Maybe if he weren’t so upset, he’d be more offended by the insinuation he’s stupid.  Instead, he only falters further, head mimicking yours.  Poor guy.
“I—I think there’s been a mistake.”
Yeah, you dating that gold-digger, you want to say.  Instead, you meet his stare like you haven’t just dug a thousand holes in his foundation.  “Oh, maybe.  I’m sorry.”  The apology is honest, even if the meaning behind it isn’t.  That’s a thing, right?  Apologising to make someone feel better, even when you don’t necessarily agree with it?  
God, you’re an altruist. 
“It’s fine.”  When he stutters, adorable lisp coming out to play, you know it’s not.  You applaud him for his brave face, even if it’s very poorly offered - a makeshift mask you think you could tear off with just another well-aimed word.  (You won’t.)
“Here it is!”  Yejin’s back, bouncing out from behind the counter with the giant white bag in her hands.  If she notices the atmosphere, she says nothing.  You remind yourself to tell her good job once Jungkook leaves - and you know he’ll leave the moment he’s got those silk handles in his hand.  He looks about ready to cry - or ready to fight, you’re not sure.
Once the purchase is passed over, he nods his head furiously and you swear you see a tear go flying.  You don’t have time to ask before he’s hoofing it out of the store.  
He doesn’t even notice he’s left his wallet on the counter.
By the time you snatch it up and round the corner, he’s nowhere to be found.  Probably because running in stilettos is next to impossible and he’s gotten an embarrassed head start.  Well then.
“I guess we’ll have to call him,”  you hum, turning the Prada bi-fold over and over in your hands.  It’s practically brand new, stuffed with large bills, his driver’s license, and few credit cards, including a Hyundai black card.  The same one on file that his girlfriend - maybe soon-to-be ex-girlfriend? - uses shamelessly.
Yejin’s watching you carefully, silently.  You’re counting down how long it’ll be until she asks - because you can see the curiosity swimming in her eyes, practically bulging her cheeks with the effort of keeping her questions caged behind her teeth.
Finally, after a good three minutes, she’s at your side, bony point of her chin digging a grave into your shoulder.  It’s probably not the most appropriate thing but she’s never much been one for decorum.  (You either, but still.) 
“So… what was that about?”
You don’t bother to turn when you speak, back to running through order details and matching them with customers.  “What?”
“You know— that!”  She waves her wrist in a circle, gesturing toward the space Jungkook had occupied not five minutes ago.  “He ran out of here like he was scared for his life.”
“Scared of the truth,”  you correct. 
You hadn’t thought it was possible for her to get more pale - she’s already fine porcelain, perpetually slathered in sunscreen - but she somehow does, balking at your response.  There it is. 
“What?”  There’s a reproachful edge to her words, an uncertainty that tells more than the single syllable. 
“What?”  It’s mimicry and a challenge all in one, meeting her stare from the corner of your periphery.  You can read every emotion that runs through her expression:  shock, displeasure, confusion.  
She retreats a step, bottom lip caught between her teeth.  (She really does remind you of your little sister.)  “So, you told him?”
You shrug, a noncommittal gesture that disrupts the curtain of silk that falls over your shoulder.  You hadn’t laid it out for him but surely he had an idea now.  There was no way he didn’t. 
“I pointed out a few conflicting facts.  That’s all.”  You’re not ashamed about what you’ve done.  You’d want to know if you were him.  Consider it an act of goodwill. 
The silence that meets your ears isn’t surprising but you don’t pay it any further mind.  What’s done is done.  Now he knows, or something close to it.  The chips would simply fall where they were meant to. 
You have to admit - you’re rooting for him. 
Whatever Yejin’s thinking, she keeps it to herself for the rest of the shift.  She knows better than to berate you about something like this, not that she would anyway.  Obnoxious as she can be, you have an understanding.  It strengthens your not-quite-close-friends-but-more-than-colleagues relationship. 
It’s only at the end of your shift that she brings it up again, drifting over to you as you complete your cash count for the evening. 
She holds Jungkook’s wallet in her hand, mouth pursed thoughtfully as she taps it against the edge of the counter.  “You have to call him.”
You almost lose your count, finishing with a pinched expression.  “Whoever works tomorrow morning can call him.”  You’re not brushing off the responsibility - you really could care less - but simply passing it along to the next person.  Sensible. 
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As it turns out, you’re the person who works the next morning, called in because another associate has come down with a cold.  
You’re two lattes deep when you remember the wallet, tucked neatly behind the counter with a yellow sticky note posted to the front.  You suppose it’s your responsibility now.  You know if Yejin comes in tomorrow and sees it, she’ll give you her childish brand of hell. 
The line rings twice before it picks up, that oddly familiar voice crackling through the speaker.  “Hello?”
“Jungkook?”  
There’s a beat of silence followed by a careful confirmation. “Yes, that’s me?”  Upspeaking again. How cute. 
“I’m calling from the CELINE boutique.”  You can practically imagine the look on his face, eyes as wide as saucers as he recalls the awful-to-him encounter.  “You left your wallet here and I wanted to make sure you got it back.”
“O-oh, uh—“  It’s like encountering a baby bunny - or deer or something equally adorable and vulnerable.  “Thanks.  I didn’t even notice.  Um, I can come pick it up today?”  There’s another pause, the sound of fingers over a screen, and then he’s back.  “Is that okay?”
Leave it to him to have lost his wallet and yet be worried about putting someone else out.  He truly was a sucker. 
“That’s fine.  We’re open until six tonight.”  
“I’ll be there before dinner.”  As if realizing how vague that is, he continues, words running headlong into each other like he can’t get them out fast enough.  “Before six, I mean.  Um, is around five-thirty okay?” 
You want to tell him to just come whenever, that it really doesn’t matter to you, but that probably isn’t going to help the situation.  Instead, you hum a quiet sound of confirmation.  “Of course.  We’ll see you then.” 
He hangs up immediately. 
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The second time you meet Jeon Jungkook, he’s just as endearing as the last.  It’s actually surprising, if you’re being honest.  You’d thought he’d be resentful or mean or any other emotion better fitting someone whose entire world had turned upside-down.
As it stands, he’s just the right-side of anxious, a hundred little sparks of uncertainty flaring beneath his skin and lighting him up in neon.  You can see him from a mile away he’s lit up so bright, seemingly uncomfortable in his own skin.
Your heart aches for him - and then it skips, almost trips over its own two feet when he wanders into the store with his hands dug deep into the pocket of his pants.
How he looks tonight is nothing like how he’d looked yesterday.  Somehow, you like it more.  The undone head-to-toe Balenciaga, the unruly curl of his dark hair.  It’s effortlessly chic - though you think it might have something to do with the fact that he’s just an attractive person.  (Good-looking people could get away with anything - even god-awful fashion faux pas.)
At the sight of you, he seems to further lose steam, eyes widening to such an extent you briefly worry for him.  Surely they’ll fall out of their sockets one day.  
“O-oh.  It’s you.”  The moment the words come, he’s blushing the colour of your red-soled shoes, horrified.  “I m-mean, just—”  He takes a deep breath, finds his footing and tries again.  “You’re the girl that helped me yesterday.”  Spoken like you, the exact girl who helped him yesterday, wouldn’t remember that fact yourself.  
“That’s right,”  you say evenly, expression neutral.  It’s almost as if that surprises him more - as if he’d expected you to shy away from the knowledge.  
The two of you stare at each other for longer than is strictly speaking necessary.  Well, you stare at him and he kind of bounces his eyes around the room.  You know he can’t be that interested in the croc stamp Belt bag behind your head or the selection of small leather goods in the glass case.  
He’s so awkward.
(You did kind of ruin his day though, so you can’t blame him.)
“So, um, my wallet?”  He’s made barely any headway, still lingering awkwardly by the front of the store.  You can’t help your smile - it’s more of a smirk - as you raise the item in question.  
“Right here.”
Jungkook glances from it to your face, then back again.  He makes the same trip twice more.  “Can I have it?”  To your surprise, he’s taken two whole steps toward you, brow furrowed.  He’s still terribly soft, rounded edges and innocent eyes, but he’s making progress.  Good job, you think.
“Of course.”  You mirror him, moving out from behind the counter.  Somehow, that’s not the right move, because his features are breaking and rearranging, big bunny teeth worrying a hole straight through his bottom lip.  You’d think he’d be more confident, more demanding, more… everything.  (You quite like that he isn’t - a complete anomaly - but you also imagine it’s also to his detriment.  Too much honey, not enough vinegar.)
This time, he closes the distance with three long strides.  It hadn’t escaped you how tall he was, the length of his gait - after all, you’d tried to run after him - but you’re still a little surprised when he’s in front of you, not a foot away, arm extended.  Palm out, he asks again, all while refusing eye contact.  “May I have it, please?” 
You hand it over with a soft laugh, pressing the grained leather into his hand.  You expect him to retreat immediately and he does - but then he turns and his expression is inscrutable.  Is he going to say thank you?  Berate you for what you’d done yesterday?
Neither, it seems.  “Why did you do it?”  There’s no anger, just an abiding sadness that laces his words, turns them the saddest shade of blue.
“Do it?”  You know what he means.  You ask anyway.
“Why did you tell me?”  Jungkook’s doing that thing again, alternating between biting his tongue and chewing his cheek as he stares at you.  You can practically see the melancholy rolling off him;  it shines dark on the depths of his irises, how his fist trembles just barely at his side.  For all his good looks and leisurely charm, you can see the effort it takes to hold himself together now.
Guilt ascends, starts somewhere deep in your stomach and turns stomach acid to butterflies.  It creeps higher and higher over your spine, locking each vertebrae until you’re immobile, unable to tear your gaze from his.  “I thought you deserved to know.”
“But why?” 
“What do you mean?”  
It’s almost comical, how both your expressions descend into bewilderment - like looking into a fun house mirror.  He’s trying to wrap his mind around your actions and you’re just trying to make sense of his confusion.  
You anticipate a response - can see it tittering on the tip of his tongue - but he seems to think better of it, shaking his head.  It dislodges a wayward curl from behind his ear, silver twinkling with the movement.  
“Thank you” is all he offers before speed-walking away.
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You don’t expect to see Jeon Jungkook for a third time.  
He’s waiting for you when you end your shift on Thursday, standing somewhere between the two boutiques, loitering like some kind of gremlin.  (Except he’s dressed exceptionally well, slick black jeans and a Balenciaga tee shirt that rivals the cost of your shoes.  Of course he’d get away with hanging out in the store without being told off.)
“Excuse me.”  For once, he doesn’t sutter.  The lisp doesn’t present itself, either.  Was this the same Jungkook?  You’re not sure until you meet his stare - or try, his own skipping away the moment you make contact.
There he is.
“Yes, Jungkook?”  He flinches, as if he isn’t expecting you to know or say his name.  How can someone so big, so broad across the shoulders with a face that belongs on billboards, look like such a terrified rabbit?  It makes no sense to you.
“Can we talk?”  The stare he levels you with is unfair, too sweet and coaxing for you to even consider saying no.  You’ll still mess with him a bit though.
“We are talking.”
He sputters at that, hacks out a cough that makes you snicker openly.  It’s just so easy with him, like taking candy from a baby.  
“I mean like— talk talk.”  The set of his jaw gives away the whisper of frustration, the fleeting touch of exasperation that doesn’t allow itself to live anywhere else.  His eyes are still soft, round and glossy beneath the fluorescent storelight.  
“Sure, we can talk talk.”  
“Did you, um, want to grab dinner?”
You don’t mean to mock him (at least, not really) but he just makes everything so easy. You hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way.  “Are you asking me on a date?”  
“W-what?  No!”  Despite the immediacy of his response - the look of utter shock that cracks the careful facade - he’s burning bright, cheeks aflame with colour that licks up and over his ears.  “I just— I thought you’d want to talk somewhere else—”
“I’m kidding.  Let’s go.”
You move first, stepping past him and onto the elevator without a backwards glance.  He scampers after you, trails like a lost puppy in the wake of your shadow.  Even while you stand in the corner, waiting for the lift to meet the main floor, he keeps a careful distance, hands jammed into the pockets of his jeans.  
“So, what do you want to talk about?”  It seems you have to take the initiative, throwing him a curious stare as the floor number ticks down.  His gaze is trained on neon digits, unmoving.  You repeat yourself, glancing up at him, half-tempted to nudge him out of his reverie.  It’s almost like talking to a really hot brick wall.  “Jungkook?”
He tears out of his thoughts like a wayward bullet, head swivelling wildly.  “Huh?”  
“What did you want to talk about?”  
“Um—”  He hesitates, not as if he doesn’t know the answer, but rather that he’s hesitant to speak it into existence.  There’s a tidal wave in the depth of his stare, a cresting wave that looks on the edge of breaking.  “—m-me?”
Brows furrow then amusement spills out.  “You want to talk about… you?”  
“That sounds bad.”  The shape of his grow prominent over his bottom lip, his mouth pulling and pursing with whatever maelstrom exists inside that pretty skull of his.  
“It’s fine.  We’ll talk at dinner.”  
He nods.  You think it means thank you.
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Sitting across from each other in the Michelin-starred restaurant - a sought after spot that takes reservations weeks in advance - it’s easy to imagine Jungkook is just another guy.  Another bachelor with too much money and not enough sense, eager to sink his teeth into his next victim.  
It’s hilarious how far that is from the truth.
“What did you want to eat?”  He’s speaking into the pages of the leatherbound menu, half his face hidden.  Whether it’s a defense mechanism or just how he woos pretty girls, you’re not sure.  (You have a feeling it’s the former.)
“Whatever.”  Everything here is incredible.  You really don’t mind.
Jungkook’s face falls, folds in on itself like wet paper and you sigh a sound that further breaks apart the pillars keeping his composure in place.  His right cheek is hollowed, interior being shredded by enamel.  You take pity on him then, flipping open the menu with a great flourish. 
When the waitress - a lovely little thing whose gaze lingers on your dining partner for too long to just be polite - comes to take your order, you rattle off your usual order, doubling certain selections.  Soft-spoken as he might be, you have a feeling the size of his stomach makes up for all the mumbling and half-hearted glances.
“So?”  You level him with a stare over the rim of your glass, lavender and lemonade bursting across your tongue.  
He echoes you, wide-eyed and Bambi-like and stupidly cute.  “So?”  
“What did you want to talk about?”  If you’d had a worse day, if you were a lesser person, you might be irritated by having to repeat yourself so often.  As it stands, you’re only curious, your inquisitive nature outweighing your naturally short temper. 
“Oh.”  Poor boy looks like he’s been asked an impossible question, like what’s the meaning of life or the secret to eternal youth.  He fumbles with the edge of his sleeve, turns the plaid over and over in his fingers as if it were a puzzle.  You stare at him the whole time, unflinching, unrelenting.  He’d asked you here so you damn well expect an answer.
You’re about ready to repeat yourself - fourth time’s the charm? - when he finally finds his voice.
“I wanted to say thank you.”
It’s not the answer you’d expected.  It whacks you in the face, smacking your usual confidence out of place and shooting your carefully threaded eyebrows into your hairline.  “What?” 
He’s terribly uncomfortable, unhappy with being on the spot.  You watch the flicker of emotions through his face, the ones that creep into the delicate skin beneath his eyes, the wobble of his bottom lip.  Try as he might, he can’t keep the light from his eyes - twinkling stars that bloom like newly minted stars.
“Thank you.”  It’s just that much harder when he repeats himself, edges he builds with his bare hands and a clearing of his throat.
You’re silent for a long while - long enough for the first few plates to be set before you.  You gather up shredded radish and perfectly charred beef with your chopsticks, chewing thoughtfully on the morsel.  Jungkook doesn’t move - doesn’t even reach for his chopsticks - and simply stares at you.  You might find it off-putting if it were anyone but him.
You get through half the bowl of green beans, well on your way to finishing it, when he finally begins eating, deftly transferring little bites to his bowl.
The only sound is crunching - king oyster mushroom tempura, ice from your cocktail - and you’re pleasantly surprised to find it’s not uncomfortable.  A little different, sure, but altogether nice.  Like dining with an old friend.
You finally answer when half the plates are gone, another three laid out in their wake.  You’re careful not to speak with your mouth open - you notice Jungkook doesn’t either - and take a long sip of your water.  “You’re welcome, I guess.”  
Something tells you you’re always surprising him - whether intentionally or not.  His eyebrows have a tendency to shoot up, making him look even more shocked than he normally does.  (Seriously, how big are his eyes?)  You find that funny but don’t comment on it, opting to pop a silken piece of black cod into your mouth.  Your stare never falters, trained on his face as you chew thoughtfully.
“What?”  He’s had enough of your quiet observation, apples of his cheeks reminiscent of the tree in your parents’ backyard.  
“What?”  You parrot back, shameless, dark eyes twinkling at him.
“Y-you’re staring at me.”  
“You’re sitting in front of me.”
The line of his mouth hardens then, tongue rolling against his cheek in a gesture that stands out.  It’s the first glimpse of something rude, something not doe-eyed and innocent.  Oh?
“You don’t have to stare.”  Said with a speared piece of sashimi, the end of his chopsticks assaulting the poor piece of bluefin tuna like it has personally offended him.  
You reach for the same place, knock ornate wood against his, and quirk a brow when he meets your stare.  “Does it bother you, Mr. Jeon?”  The inflection is drawn out, almost mocking, only softened by the smile you offer.  
“That’s not my name.”  The bite disappears past his teeth.  You expect him to continue three chews later but he only goes for another, filling his plate and then his mouth.
“Sorry— Jungkook.  Does my staring bother you?”
It feels a little like playing with fire - holding your hand too close to a flickering flame, curious what it’ll do.  Juvenile in a way but enticing in another.  You’ve never met anyone quite like Jeon Jungkook.
“It’s rude,”  he reasons, glossy eyes meeting yours for perhaps the fifth time that evening.
“Maybe I’m just rude.”
He shakes his head then - dislodges untamed strands from behind his silver-lined ears - and sets his chopsticks down.  (Perfectly matched up, propped against the provided rest.)  “You’re not.”
You can’t keep the surprise away, the emotion threading through your brows to tie them into a little knot of consternation.  He says it so readily, as if he knows you and this isn’t one of a handful of very short, very unexpected conversations.  He’s not even looking away, meeting your stare with a confidence that surprises you.  
It lasts for all of five more seconds before he clears his throat and sips at his tea.  Anything to busy his hands, you think.
“You don’t know that,”  you finally return, after what seems like too long.
“I do.”  He nods - almost to himself - and continues, matter-of-fact.  “You care about people.  You’re… hard around the edges but you don’t mean to hurt anyone.  You want to do what’s right.  Sometimes it means you have to do things that aren’t easy.”
For once, you’re at a loss for words.  Really and truly silenced, unable to articulate anything that might beat back the kindness he’s offering.  
How the tables have turned.
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He likes waffles with chocolate syrup rather than honey.  He doesn’t like whipped cream or citrus-flavoured desserts.  He has a tailor he’s gone to since he was a child, the same elderly woman he sometimes calls halmoni because she’s watched him grow up.  He decorates his apartment with the most random things:  limited edition KAWs figurines and the guitars he still hasn’t had the most practice with, one of a kind paintings from the gallery one of his best friends curates.  He buys the most expensive bottles of wine at any given restaurant not because his palate is so evolved it matters, but because it’s what he’s been taught to do.
He’s been in four serious relationships in his twenty-five years.  All of them have ended poorly, though his latest with Malibu Barbie is the first where he’d been cheated on.  (Somehow, you doubt that but you don’t voice this disbelief.)  He tends to lean towards long-term relationships with women who baby him (your words, not his).  He scoffs when you call him a serial monogamist, insists he isn’t even as you list out all the facts pointing otherwise.
“I just… don’t like wasting my time,”  he insists from behind his coffee cup.  
“You mean you don’t like the potential to be hurt.”  
Jungkook blinks at you then, Bambi eyes so big and bright you almost want to laugh.  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”  He seems confused - as if his reasoning is solid, irrefutable. 
“High risk, high reward, Jungkookie.”  It’s something your father had taught you years ago, the crazy old sap.  It’s probably why he’s had three divorces since you were seven years old, but you suppose it’s worked out for him now.  He’s been happily married for the last ten years - the longest relationship he’s ever had.  Youngin is good for him, though.  You like her - even if you sometimes wish she weren’t young enough to be your older sister and not his wife.
“You say that a lot.”
“I mean it when I say it.”
He’s quiet then, shoving a corner of his croissant past his lips.  When he speaks - starts to, anyway - his mouth is still full and you level him with a look that silences him until all traces of the pastry are gone.  “Girls are scary.”
You laugh.  Cackle, really.  You can’t help it.  He says it with a pout, the expression so utterly at odds with the offensively revealing shirt he wears, the smooth unblemished skin of his chest almost too much for such a quiet afternoon.  He glares at you across the table, shoves another piece of the flaky golden treat into his mouth, and waits for you to speak.  He knows you’re going to give him a piece of your mind because you always do, rebuffing 99% of the things he says.  (Sometimes for fun, often with good intentions.)
“Heights are scary.  Death is scary.  Leaving your wallet at home when you’re low on gas is scary—”
“Don’t you have Apple Pa—”
“Don’t interrupt.”  He clamps his lips shut, folding his arms across his chest.  From anyone else, it’d be a defensive gesture;  from him, it’s patient.  “Girls aren’t scary.  Having real feelings for people is scary, but that doesn’t mean you should just stay with people who don’t deserve you.” 
“Not all of us have cheater-sniffing noses.”  
You suppose he’s right but the fact still remains that he’s too nice for his own good.  Too trusting, too lenient, too blind to all the red flags.  Like he’s living life in greyscale. 
“Well, that’s what you have me for.”
The look Jungkook gives you then is incredulous, screwing his pretty face up as if he’s about to sneeze.  Instead, he laughs.  “I’m not hopeless.”
“Oh, but you are.”  You’re adamant, insistent.  He’s more comfortable with you now - sometimes teases you in a way you’d never have expected weeks ago - but he’s still so soft.  An absolute marshmallow dressed in designer duds, a heart of gold wrapped up in a bubble gum package.  
You want to protect him, teach him to fly.  Be his wingwoman until he’s soaring the skies on his own.  
You know it’s not his pride that keeps him from saying yes.  He doesn’t have an abundance of that, far too gracious to ever deny help when he really needs it.  He’s just shy, doesn’t know what he wants until it’s staring him right in the face.  
“Fine,”  he agrees after you’ve stared at him for too long.  It’s one of his weaknesses - his inability to handle attention when it’s laser-focused.  It makes him sweat, prompts his nervous habit of chewing at his bottom lip, long fingers picking at the peach fuzz on his cheeks.
“You won’t regret it.”
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Jeon Jungkook has gone on six dates over the last ten days.  You know, because you’ve helped him pick out outfits for each of them, seated at the edge of his bed with your knees folded and a bag of white cheddar popcorn in your grubby little paws.
It’s not that he isn’t stylish - you both know he is - but there’s a certain finesse to dressing for dates, to knowing the likes and dislikes of your potential partner and playing to those.  
He, to no one's surprise, does not have this finesse.  If it were up to him, he’d wear his favourite clothes every day, different jeans and joggers in medium-wash denim and impossibly soft cotton.  He’d swap his Balenciaga separates in and out and stick with the finely tailored Gucci suit he calls his lucky ticket (ew).  He’d live in those stupid two-toned sneakers and barely do his hair, allowing it to become a powder puff reminiscent of old Hollywood movies.
The girls would probably still love it.  (It’s easy to love him.)
“What do you think?”  It’s low-cut black, relaxed in the shoulders and flattering in the torso.  It holds him just right, hugging the muscle that threads across his shoulders like armour, coils around his upper arms and makes his tattoos stand in stark relief where the sleeves end, mid-forearm. 
It looks good— but then again, a lot of things look good on him.  He wants great.
You answer honestly, because that’s what you do and that’s what he has you there for.  To knock him down when his (admittedly small) ego gets a little too big, remind him of his hubris like the summer sun upon his candle wax wings.  “Not bad…”
You don’t even need to finish the thought for him to be tugging the shirt over his head, back flexed, ink-strewn fingers gripping the hem.  
Not for the first time, you’re reminded of just how unfair life is. 
How had Jungkook - bona fide dork, certifiable shy guy - been gifted one of the best bodies in human existence?  (You wish you were joking.)  It was utterly absurd, a complete waste on someone who’d only learnt to utilise his good looks in the last five months you’d known him.  
“This one?”  He’s grabbing another hanger, all but thrusting it into your face.  Medium-weight cashmere.  Probably too hot for a night like tonight but you’ve seen it on him before and it hugs him like a lover, displaying his best assets (titties) and drawing attention to the narrow shape of his waist.  It’s the equivalent of a little black dress.
“Look at you go,”  you tease, mouth full of mirth and popcorn kernels.  “Throw that Juun.J trench you have overtop and you’ll be set.”
Jungkook nods sagely, as if your word is law.  You suppose it is.
“Thanks, ____,.”  He says it in that sweet way of his, eyes lost to the weight of his gratitude.  
Your response is a shrug.  “Bring me back some dessert and we’ll be even.”  You don’t know where he’s going tonight but you figure it’s one of the many restaurants you’d recommended earlier in the week when he’d started lining up his various dates.  You know there’ll be something good on the menu.  
He promises he will as he slides the turtleneck on, tucking it into the dark trousers he’d picked up days ago, and redoes the slim black Rag & Bone belt around his waist.  You have to admit - you’ve done another great job of styling him.  Simple yet painstakingly attractive, playing at all the little bits of Jungkook’s best qualities without outlining them in bright red ink.  Understated but elegant, effortless yet seriously hot.  
Maybe you should quit your day job and become the female Hitch.  That was a viable plan, right?
You’re mulling it over when you realise your walking Ken doll is making toward his bedroom door, wallet clasped in one hand and phone in the other.  “Hey!  You’re leaving already?”  It’s polite surprise that colours your words, stare drawn to the screen of your iPhone.  It’s only 6 PM and the reservation isn’t for another hour.
There’s a sheepish look creeping over his features, painting itself in delicate strokes that you spy past the line of his smile, how the skin crinkles around his eyes.  For a moment, he’s the shy Jungkook you’d met in your store and not the one that now bleeds careful confidence, filling his little black book (read: phone contacts) with names as easily as he breathes.  “I was, uh, going to stop and get f-flowers.”  A silver-lined hand scrubs across his nape, dislodges the carefully styled waves he’s settled for.
Flowers, huh?  Well, that’s certainly something new.  Good for him, you think. 
“Jeon Jungkook, going all out.”  It’s heavy on the teasing, playful mockery lending a warmth to your words.  “She’s special.”
Which you’d figured, given he was seeing her.  Repeats were rare for him now that he’d learned how to weed out the bad seeds, held his hand a little closer to his heart (at least, sometimes).  Since he’d started dating again, this would be the first time he’d be going on a second date.  It’s a big deal. 
“Yeah—“  Nervousness sparks across his face, lights up his stare like the stars in the night sky.  “I guess she is.”
You smile fondly, like a proud mother.  “Go get ‘em, tiger.”  
“I will,”  he promises, looking so giddy it makes your heart swell ten sizes.  
You don’t even think anything of it as you follow him out of his room, bag of popcorn neatly rolled under your arm and your socks slid back into place.  It’s only when he levels you with a strange stare, pauses in the shrugging on of his coat, that you return his look.  “What?”
“Where are you going?”
“Leaving?”  
“Why?”
Wasn’t that the million dollar question?  
You don’t normally leave, usually waiting here at home for him until he returns to give you a rundown of his date (and the promised appetizer/dessert/whatever).  It feels somehow wrong to stay, though, as if you’re taking up space that doesn’t belong to you.  He’s going on a second date, after all.  Soon enough, he won’t need your help picking out clothes or deciding on a restaurant.  You won’t get to curl up on your usual corner of his sectional, wrapped up in the obnoxiously soft blanket you’d convinced him to buy one night while online shopping.
But it’s fine.  Totally, one hundred and ten percent fine.  The two of you are friends.  You’d always expected - anticipated, hoped - this day would come.  Baby boy was growing up. 
“Y’know.”  You answer a second too late and he’s still wearing that odd expression, handsome face flooded with something that looks like disappointment.  It flickers in the bits of his stare you can make out past his fringe, partially concealed by the dark silk that you know feels as soft as it looks.
“I know?”  He never tries to read your mind - knows it’s utterly useless.  
You wiggle your hand dismissively.  “Second date and all that.”  
Jungkook giggles - the same deceptively sweet sound he always makes - and finishes tugging his jacket on.  It fits him so well it should be illegal, falling to his knees and ending just shy of the intricate laces of his boots.  “Just stick around.  I’ll drive you home when I get back.”
It’s something he always does - his way of saying thank you for putting up with all of his first date jitters, his outfit changes, his worrying over how to first approach a girl on Tinder - so you don’t doubt him.  “Fine.  I’ll stay.”
He beams, caught halfway out the door.  “Tell me to break a leg.”
“Go break her back,”  you retort to the sound of his laughter.
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You’re almost asleep when your phone starts going off, the vibrations jolting you awake.  It rattles across the glass table, won’t shut the hell up until you’re slamming your hand atop it, glaring at the screen as it lights up with notifications.
It’s almost 2 AM and they’re from Jungkook.  This can only mean one thing.
from jeon jungkook:  Hey. from jeon jungkook:  I’m really sorry but I won’t be home tonight. from jeon jungkook:  If you want to stay over, I can drive you back in the morning. from jeon jungkook:  Please don’t be mad.
Leave it to him to apologise for getting his dick wet - to feel bad about having a successful second date.  It makes you laugh as you stare down at the texts, tap a quick response you know will have his heart racing.  (Even after months of friendship, it’s hard not to tease him just a little bit.)
to jeon jungkook:  i officially hate you
The typing notification gives him away immediately, but the moment you do the same, he stops.  Of course.  He hates confrontation - would rather leap off a cliff-face than deal with negative emotions.  (He’d told you that once, over a night of beer and fried tteok.)
to jeon jungkook:  it’s fine!  have fun! to jeon jungkook:  turn her world upside down 😏
He doesn’t answer after that but the read receipt pops up.  Good, you think.  About time he finds someone nice.  You wonder what she’ll be like when you meet her.  
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Jungkook’s third date comes with another third - you.
He drags you along to dinner, insisting there’s nothing at all weird about the fact.  He has to repeat it at least four times during the drive there, head nodding like a plastic bobblehead as he weaves in and out of traffic. 
“I want you to meet her,”  he mumbles, like that makes it better.  As if bringing a friend along to a date with that reasoning means it’s totally acceptable and not on the list of Hard No’s When Dating.
“Don’t you think that’s kind of weird?”  He’s too focused on changing lanes to answer you, signalling before seamlessly drifting over.  (He’s an impressively responsible driver, but that’s unsurprising.)  You repeat yourself.
“It’s not… weird.”  But you have a feeling that he knows how odd the request is.  Knows and doesn’t care, unfortunately.  “She wants to meet you too.”
(When had Jungkook turned into this person who argued with you?)
You somehow highly doubt that.  No girl in her right mind would leap at the chance to meet her potential beau’s wingwoman.  It’s something reserved for official status, when the foundation is set.  Still, you play into his hand, level him with a stare he should recognise.  It’s the one you throw his way any time he’s too nice, gives a mile when he shouldn’t even offer an inch.  (It doesn’t come as often anymore, but it still makes appearances once in a while.)  
“What does she even know about me?”
“That we’re friends.”  His vague response speaks volumes.  The look changes - grows into a glare that has him furtively peeking at you from the corner of his periphery.  When he speaks, it feels like a dead giveaway.  “That I really value your opinion.”
You groan, a noise so loud it rattles around in the car and interrupts the ballad playing through the speakers.
“She’s trying to figure out if I’m competition or not!”  Of course.  It’s obvious.  She wants to know what she’s getting into it before things get too serious, determine if her Prince Charming is really all that.  (He is.)  “I’m not coming to dinner.”  
“You’re already in the car,”  he reasons.  
You note he doesn’t deny your first statement, mouth rounding into a pout that should crush your resolve.  Instead, it drives you mad, irritation bubbling in your throat.
“I just won’t go in.”
“____,.”  When he says it like that, it’s hard to deny him.  Jungkook might not utilise his charms often but when he does, it’s lethal.  Undeniable with those dumb Bambi eyes of his.
“No.”
“____,,”  he repeats, almost pleading.  You can’t look at him.  You won’t.  The moment you do, you’ll be sucked into the swirling vortex that makes up his stare - a million pretty little lights caught in the brown of his iris, so many possibilities you’d lose yourself trying to explore them all.
You last a whole ten seconds before his staring becomes too much, those round eyes tracking you in the rearview mirror until you’re relenting, softening in the way that only he can cause. 
“Fine.”  You hate how it sounds rolling off your tongue, terse and a little pissed off.  You’re not actually mad.  Just worried.  You’ve seen situations like this play out - not that you’ve been in this position before - but female friends and potential girlfriends just don’t go hand-in-hand.  It takes a very special kind of person to facilitate a meeting this early and you are not that person.  You’re ragged edges, uneven temperament, distrust that you can’t help.
Jungkook knows that.  Should, anyway.  You’ve grown close over the last nearly half a year.  
When he mumbles a quiet sorry, turns to rest his chin against his knuckles as he drives, you know he means it.  He’d never put you in this position if it didn’t mean a lot to him - if his own happiness wasn’t somehow also on the line.  (Truthfully, it’s your fault.  All that self-love encouragement was coming back to bite you in the ass.)
You grumble an obligatory acceptance as the streetlights fly by.  You’ve got a reputation to uphold. 
“You’re paying for my dinner.”
“Of course.”
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How many times have you pictured this same situation, watched it unfold on your television screen as the protagonist gasps wildly, hand at their throat?  How many times have you laughed at the exchange, snickering into your palm as the romantic interest makes some wild declaration of love and wins the protagonist’s heart?
Answer:  you’ve lost count.
Still, it doesn’t prepare you to be thrust beneath the spotlight, half-dreaming and terribly confused.  
“What’re you doing here?”  At any other time, it might be as reproachful as you want, full of disapproval and sleepiness.  Here and now, it’s slurred speech and the lines of your pillow dug into the softness of your cheek, lashes dusted with sleep and breath freshly minted.
Jungkook’s oddly surprised, considering he’s appeared unannounced at your doorstep at the crack of dawn (not really).  “C-can I come in?”
You don’t budge.  It’s not because you’re about to say no, but because you’re still really tired.  So tired you stare at him for a moment too long, zoning out as you drink in his appearance.  He’s wearing the clothes from last night - the same animal-print silk shirt that hangs obscenely low and reveals too much skin.  You recognise it because you’d picked it out for his date.  
(The one where he was supposed to ask Jiwon to be his girlfriend, you fail to note.)  
You repeat yourself around a yawn, ignoring the way your vowels crash into each other and barely make it to the light of day.  “What’re you doing, Jungkookie?”
“Please let me in,”  the doe-eyed prince at your door mumbles, gaze bouncing somewhere beyond your shoulder, over your face, to the wayward strands that’re the result of sleeping too well.  Everywhere but your eyes.
“Fine,”  you huff, stepping back to allow him over the threshold.  You don’t miss the way he smells - his signature cologne and something else.  If you had to guess, it’s her perfume.  It’s distinctly floral, drawing you into a garden of roses.  You don’t know if you like it.
Without a second glance, you’re shuffling away from him, dragging your slippered feet into the kitchen.  
You move on autopilot, spooning coffee grounds into the Chemex filter.  You don’t bother asking whether your surprise guest wants any - assume he does, because the fiend somehow lives on caffeine - and settle against the counter as you wait for your kettle to whistle.
You’re still so tired you feel like you might fall asleep standing up but you think you do a good enough job of levelling Jungkook with a solid stare.  “So?”
“W-what?”  
It’s been so long since you’ve last heard his stutter that it surprises you, recentres your attention from your own exhaustion and has you frowning.  Something’s happened.  Must have.  There’s no other explanation for it - for how he looks at you, so uncertain like all those months ago when you’d smashed his glass house to pieces.
“What’s going on?”  You’re demanding, full to the brim with concern as you round on him.  He flinches away as if your words have burnt him, leaning into the stainless steel side of your fridge.  
(Silly Jungkook - that won’t protect you.)
“What do you mean?”
The early hour has, luckily, dampened your usual aggression.  He’s stalling, you can tell.  You hate when he does this.  You tell him as much, glowering at him as he tries to shrink his nearly six foot frame into something small.  “You’ve showed up at my house unannounced.  What do you mean ‘what do I mean’?”
He looks as if he’s on the brink of repeating himself, biting it back behind his neat white teeth when your expression grows darker, more frustrated.
It’s impossible to stay dressed in red, lethargy swathing you up like a cocoon and softening your edges.  You sigh heavily - perhaps a little overdramatically - and go about completing your coffee ritual.  Patience works best with Jungkook, you’ve learned.  (Though, he sorely tests your own sometimes.)
With a steaming mug in your hand and the other passed over to him, you gesture toward your living room.
He nods once - a small up and down of his head.  
“So.”  You try again, softer this time, warmed by the heat that permeates ceramic and settles your sleep-ravaged nerves.  You’re seated cross-legged on your couch, facing him with your back pressed to the arm rest.  He’s half-turned to you, coffee cup slotted between his thighs.  Feet turned in, mouth wobbling with the intensity of how hard he’s chewing into his bottom lip.
“I couldn’t do it.”  The words rush out too fast, tumble into each other in such a way you have to take a second to comprehend what he’s said.  Couldn’t do… it?
You stare at each other for a long while, you trying to understand and him refusing to meet your stare.  
When realisation dawns on you, you can only imagine how you look.  It must be terrifying by how Jungkook practically tries to crawl into the cushions of your couch, shoulders rising around his ears like a turtle.
“You didn’t ask her?”  It explodes out, a question that demands an answer. 
He’s staring past your head, unblinking.  You’d almost worry he was a robot if his voice weren’t so damned human, full of melancholy and rounded by his lisp.  “I c-couldn’t.  It was just…”  The shrug he offers is half-assed at best, not nearly good enough to excuse him.
“Just what?”  
“Just—”  There’s the wiggly hand gesture you do that he’s adopted, his ink-strewn hand waving through the air like a floppy chicken foot.  He thinks it’ll earn him a pass but your unrelenting glare indicates otherwise.  He deflates, hand falling back to his lap, clutching his mug like it's a makeshift security blanket.  “It didn’t feel right.”
What did that even mean?  Feel right?  
Love didn’t just appear, fully-formed and complete.  It took work and dedication and the understanding it could all come crashing down.  Didn’t he understand that?  Hadn’t you drilled that into his head?
You exhale through gritted teeth, push breath past enamel that acts like a solid steel gate.  
“Jungkook, it’s not going to just ‘feel right.’”  You’re air quoting, all tact thrown out the window.  “You like her, don’t you?”
You expect him to nod immediately.  He doesn’t. 
“Jungkook.”
“Yeah?” 
“You like her, right?”  
“I think so.”
You want to tear your own hair out.  Instead, you press the pads of your fingers into your temple - apply pressure in hopes of alleviating the tension that settles there.  “So, you like her.”  It feels a bit bad, condescending in a way;  you don’t mean it in any way but supportive.  You just want him to be happy.  “But you couldn’t ask her out because it didn’t feel right?”
“She’s not you.”  
He’s looking at you now, looks like he might have a heart attack if he does so any longer.  But he doesn’t tear his gaze away when you meet it, entire expression warped into something you don’t recognise.  Hope, maybe?  Fear?   
“What?”  You wish it were hard rather than feather light, almost lost to the cacophony in your head.
The hollow of his cheek is thrown into stark relief, the line of his jaw clenched tight.  He repeats himself even as you’re the one looking away, shaking your head as if that might will away the irksome answer.  (It won’t.)
“Don’t say things like that.”  
It’s hurt that flashes through his expression and strikes you right in the centre of your chest.  His face crumbles, brows knit together beneath his mop of shiny hair.  He looks so terribly sad - a kicked puppy, an abandoned deer.  Bambi, through and through.
“You asked why I didn’t do it,”  he reasons in a voice far more solid than he looks.
“I didn’t think you’d say something so ridiculous.”  It’s cruel.  “You’re making a bad choice.  You’re into this girl.  Don’t be dumb.”
His features rearrange, then so do his limbs, entire body lifting from his seat in jerky, disjointed movements.  “I’m not dumb.”  There’s a reproachful quality to his words, a distaste he doesn’t bother to mask.  It’s not something you’ve ever faced, surprising you enough to draw your eyes to his face.  
He doesn’t look like the Jungkook you know.  
When he leaves - sets his cup in the sink and storms out the way he’d come before you have time to stop him - you wonder if you ever knew him at all.
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“Okay.  Spill.”
Yejin’s tired of your abrasiveness, tired of having her head bitten off every time she tries to approach you with a question.  You can’t blame her.  You’ve felt like shit the last week, sleep-deprived and generally pissed off.  
All because of a doe-eyed idiot.  
“What?”  It’s less snark, more sigh.  You’re counting down the minutes until you’re free, until you can curl back up in your bed and try to sleep like you’ve done the last four days.  
“What’s going on with you?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Bullshit,”  she hums, trailing after you as you move behind the counter.  “You’ve been in a bad mood all week.  I’ve never seen you this upset like, ever.”  She’s right, of course.  You’ve always been very careful to keep business separate, pushing the customer service agenda no matter what.  “Did something happen?”  
You grit your teeth.  An expletive careens off your tongue when you slam the tip of your finger within the drawer you’d just shut.
“____,”  she tries again, concerned.  
“Nothing happened.”
“See, I don’t believe that because like, look at you!”  She gesticulates wildly, adorned wrists clinking loudly.  “You look like hell—”
“Thanks.”
“—and you’re being clumsy and like, I think I know you well enough.  So just tell me?”
You hate that she’s right.  It doesn’t mean you’ll relent, too caught up in your own strange brand of strength to unload.  (Maybe it’d be helpful.  Probably.  But you’ve never found comfort in other people.  At least, not like this.)
“Yejin.”  Her name stops her in her tracks, hurried and insistent as you pull your coat on.  “It’s fine.  Really.”  You’re swallowing your pride - practically choking on it - as you offer what you hope is a reassuring smile.  “I just need to get some sleep.”  And figure out what the hell to do about Jungkook, but that’s a can of worms you refuse to open and certainly not here.
Maybe at home, over a glass of wine, fueled by liquid courage.  
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The bottle of Côtes du Rhône has aided you more than you’d hoped, offered an armour that slinks over your shoulders and drives your fingers to action.  It’s prompted something - started the ball rolling.
(Idly, you think that might not have been a very good idea, but it’s too late to care now.)
“You’re here.”  You being him and him being Jeon Jungkook, hair damp and imposing frame draped in an oversized sweater.  He looks terribly uncomfortable standing in your doorway - more so than he had days ago - hands shoved into the kangaroo pouch of his hoodie, dumb sneakers pigeon-toed as if he’s ready to take flight.
“Y-you asked,”  he mutters, refusing to meet your stare.  At least, you think he’s refusing.  It’s a little hard to focus when there’s this fine film turning everything hazy, the bitter taste of wine heavy on your tongue.  
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
He looks at you like you’re crazy then, though he never quite meets your eyes.  It’s a smart tactic - level you with a look then immediately bounce it away.  It has you coming back for more, eager to refocus his fretful gaze until it’s locked with your own.
“Will you come in?”  You sidestep, give him enough space that he can enter without feeling suffocated.  He still hesitates, takes a second too long in deciding.  “I won’t bite.”
You don’t miss the better promise that comes under his breath.
“So.”  This feels oddly familiar, him backed into the corner of your couch again while you settle across from him.  He hums a noise but offers nothing further.  
This is how it’ll be then.  Fine.  If he wants to be this way.
“You like me.”
He sputters - doesn’t mean to, by how big his eyes go.  He hadn’t expected it to come barreling out of your mouth.  “I—  I don’t—  I didn’t say that.” 
If it were anyone but him, you’d take his reticence as rudeness.  
“Tell me why.”
The poor boy blinks, stares at you full on now.  Can’t look away, locked in the intensity of your stare.  
“W-what?”
“Tell me.”  You sip carefully at the liquid in your glass, swirl it ‘round and ‘round.  “You said that girl wasn’t me but you haven’t made a case as to why that matters.  What have I got that she doesn’t?”  
“You’re serious?”  
“As a heart attack, Jungkookie.”
The brunet swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion.  You think he might say no, outright refuse.  You don’t expect him to start rattling things off like the list lives in his head, answers printed against the darks of his eyelids.  
“You’re funny.  You’re honest.  You speak your mind.”  You don’t mean to scoff but his reasons are so shallow - so easily found in other people.  He must read the doubt in your expression, pushing on to cut you off from doing the same to him.  “Y-you care about people even when you pretend like you don’t.  You’re just as scared of being hurt as I am.”  
For the first time in a long time - in years and years - you feel seen.  As if he’s pulled back the cover of your unpublished draft, memorised the redlines and notes in the margins.  
“I don’t—”
“You have this face you make when you’re proud of me.”  He’s turning his own fingers over in his lap, knuckles white from the strain of locking them together and undoing them again.  “When I do something you approve of or when I make you laugh.”  
There’s something thick in your throat.  
“You make me want to try.”  He clears his own, speaks so softly you have to strain to hear it.  “Y-you make things not so scary.”  
It grows heavier, harder to breathe as you stare at the man sitting across from you.  He’s focused wholly on his hands, too caught up in his words to help the way he plucks at his skin, fiddles with the silver chain that loops around his wrist.
“You know what I need, even before I know myself.  You make me laugh.”  He laughs, an almost choked sound that fizzles and rattles bashfully. “You look really, really good in your work skirt.”  You know the one he means - all black, pencil-fit.  Makes your legs look a mile long, despite the fact that they aren’t.  
You can’t help but join him, a little breathless, with a strange sensation behind your ribs.  Like sunshine on a cold day, filtering past the walls you’ve put up, streaming through the windows that’d replaced drywall when Jungkook had waltzed into your life with his fluffy hair and boyish laugh.
When you speak, you don’t even believe your own words.  They come of their own accord - a defense mechanism.  “I can’t.”
As if he knows - as if he’s got a polygraph going, Jungkook shakes his head, meets your eyes and holds you there with the intensity of his attention.  “Can’t or won’t?”
“I—”
“I’m not asking for the world here.  Just a chance.”  He’s got a peculiar look on his face.  “Don’t you think you owe it to me?”
“Excuse me?” 
All of a sudden, he’s close.  Closer than you’d expect, far closer than he should be.  There’s nothing beyond his expression, the way his eyes twinkle under the dimmed apartment lights as he stares you down.  The scent of his cologne is cloying now, the fading nectarine hint of his shampoo making your mouth water.  
“You kind of ruined my life.  I think this makes us fair.”
You sputter, gasp, make sounds that careen off your tongue and fill the air with nonsense.  You’d ruined his life?  (You’d made it better - made him see the light, you thought.)  You’re working to find your voice, ready to tear into him for this abrupt accusation.
Then he’s giggling, nose scrunched and delight filtering past his teeth.  
“I’m kidding.”  
It feels like whiplash.  You’ve created a monster.  
“But you do owe me, I think.  So why not?”
You only have yourself to blame when you say yes, conceding to his pretty eyes and sweet smile.
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Dating Jungkook is easy - as effortless as breathing.  He’s a bona fide dreamboat plucked from your wildest dreams. 
He texts when he says he will and picks you up every night, stamping a kiss to your cheek the moment you’ve clocked out.  He holds your hand and refuses to let go, rubbing soothing circles over your wrist when you’re tired or stressed or annoyed.  He brings flowers to every date - insists on them even when you tell him they’re a waste of money.  He knows your coffee order, has learned the art of the pour over when he wakes up before you.  
You understand now, why he’d stayed with women who were terrible for him (to him).  If you were them, you wouldn’t have let him go either.  Would lock him up in an old tower like your own personal Rapunzel.
(You say that because you’ve been on a Disney movie binge.  He is, unsurprisingly, very into these sorts of things.)
“Open it,”  he pleads, pushing the luxurious pink box towards you.
You stare down at the lid, the Agent Provocateur label glaring back at you.  You can’t help how you laugh, sound bouncing around his bedroom.  “Are you trying to tell me something, Jungkookie?”
Your lover - not boyfriend, because you haven’t had the talk and it’s still new and you’ve never been this careful before - rolls his eyes, pushes the box closer with a huff.  It’s adorable.  
“Just open it.”
You finger the soft bow strapped across the top, play with the neatly cut ends.  You can feel the impatience radiating off Jungkook, feel those pretty doe eyes boring holes into the top of your head.  You take your time even more now, unravelling the ribbon with slow, measured twists of your wrist.  
Whatever you’d expected to find nestled among the tissue paper, this isn’t it.  
You’d imagined he’d be into something feminine, all pristine white lace and scalloped cups.  Something he could brush his cheek against, run his fingers over.  
Tucked within the box is something that doesn’t even earn the title of lingerie, a few flimsy straps bonded together.  Blush pink satin and dressed with buckles, you turn it over in your hands, trying to make sense of the way it all connects.  Surely there’s more to this.  Surely, darling innocent Jeon Jungkook doesn’t expect you to wear just this?
“Do you like it?”  You can sense the eagerness in his voice, that desire he has to please that seems to never go away.  
“What is it?”
“It’s a playsuit.”  
“A playsuit?”  You’re no stranger to experimenting in the bedroom but this— this looks like it’s meant to harness a dog in.  Would it even fit?  Soft as it is, it seems terribly restrictive, made for someone with model proportions and no body fat at all.
He nods, round eyes so bright, so hopeful, you can’t voice your concerns.  “Will you wear it?”
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It fits you better than you’d expected.  Or at least, you think it does.  If Jungkook’s reaction was any indication, it’s heaven sent - the perfect gift wrapping for a present he’s been dying to claim. 
The buckles you’d studied earlier - that had taken you too long to strap together - dig into the tender flesh of your hips, the shape of his fingers imprinted along the metal.  He grips you so tight you think you might bruise, left with a reminder of his love for weeks.
“S-so wet,”  he groans, sound dropping into an almost whine as the swollen mushroom head of his cock brushes through your folds.  The satin of the playsuit has been long since tugged aside, stained with your arousal as it cuts into the softness of your thighs.  He repeats the motion once, twice, coats your clit in pre-cum that leaks out of the slit and adds another layer of slick.  “So ready for me, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
You nod dumbly, drool around the two fingers he’s got slotted against your cheek, ring finger pressed down over your tongue.  
“Use your words, gorgeous.”  As if you can, as if you’re not riding the high of your last orgasm and about to come apart beneath his playful teasing.
The palm of his hand meets your overstimulated clit with a sharp smack, the cold of his teeth bared against your neck.  He doesn’t like when you don’t answer - much prefers to make an effort even if it’s indiscernible.
“What did I say?”  
Something garbled comes, a plea as much as a sob.  Another hit lands, just shy of the pearl that throbs with need and pain, landing instead on the sensitive, already red skin of your inner thigh.  He soothes it this time around, massages your own wetness into the roses that bloom beneath his touch.
When he speaks again, it’s so utterly sweet, tender as can be.  The Jungkook you’ve known for months and not the devil in disguise.  
“You like this, don’t you?”  His kisses are searing, laced with reverence that feels at odds with the way he forces your gag reflex, taps his curved cock against your pussy.  “You like what I’m doing?”
“Y-yes,”  you cry, spit pooling past the sides of your mouth, dripping lewdly across your breasts.  The hand cradling your chin is all but drenched, dark ink thrown into stark relief by the way it slides over his skin.  Jungkook hums against your cheek, licks a fat stripe from shoulder to ear.  
“Good girl.”  Two fingers spread across over your heat, pointer and index sliding over your lips.  You’re spread obscenely - can see it in the mirror that rests against the far wall.  Can see how the head of his cock peeks between your thighs, runs the same path over and over with each languid, slow roll of his hips.  “Such a good girl for me.  My perfect girl.”
Your shoulders shake with the effort you put into nodding, throat clenching on reflex when the three fingers in your mouth flatten over your tongue, hold you steady in place.
“Pretty girl wants more, doesn’t she?  Wants me to fill her up?”
He’s teasing you, the bastard.  Dragging his aching erection against your cunt as you writhe against him, desperate.  It’s amusing to him - you can read the delight in the reflection, see it shining bright like a beacon when he pulls his hand away and recentres it across your chest.  Digits tease at the already pebbled buds, swollen and sensitive from how hard he’d sucked them into his mouth earlier.
“Say it.  Say you want me.”
You do, without hesitation, without fear.  You know he’ll catch you.  “I want you.”  
He sinks into you the same instant the words fall, holds you tight against him when your entire body begins buzzing and threatens to do the same.  Your walls feel like a vice grip around him, greedily sucking in his cock as he slams home, ruts into you like a wild animal.  
Strong as he is, he’s weak to the noises you make - the broken sobs that spill off your tongue and make up the prettiest sound he’s ever heard - and how you feel absolutely perfect, wet and warm.  The muscle in his thighs strain, pleasure vibrating up the notches of his spine, setting every nerve ending alight with its ascent.
“B-be mine,”  he returns, practically begging as he spreads you wide, making you take everything he has to offer.  Heart and soul and stupidly huge, perfect cock.
“I am.  I am.  I am,”  you chant, tears welling along your lash line.  They fall when his rhythm stutters, when the heat overwhelms and you’re coming for the third time that night, crying his name like it’s the only word you know.  
They continue to pour, carve trails down your reddened cheeks as you reach nirvana, wait for moment he’s right there with you.  It doesn’t take long - a few more punishing thrusts into your fluttering heat - and then he’s found his bliss, crying into the silk of your hair, spilling inside you. 
It doesn’t happen how you thought it would - a shy question poised over dinner, sealed with a sweet kiss on the way to the car - but it means just as much.  Breaks you apart as it rebuilds you, fills you up as it splits your seams.
You’re his and he’s always been yours. 
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tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice @youwannabelostandnotbefound @snackhobi @codeinebelle @shaybtsforever @we-found-wonderland-in-1989 @justanothergirlfromeurope @jalexad @bonnyskies @coffeeismylife28 @haeilove @purplespaceymermaid @sunsetsnsirens-blog @beingbeings​ @veronawrites​ @notmontae97​ @papillonsgf​ i’m really hoping i didn’t miss anyone e___e
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after-witch · 4 years ago
Text
Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]
Title: Sweet Escape [Yandere Overhaul x Reader]
Synopsis: Escape isn’t easy. Nor is it very long-lasting. When Overhaul’s men drag you back into captivity, you brace yourself and wait for what your captor will do with you. 
Word Count: 7,592
Notes: yandere, kidnapped, humiliation, degradation, mentions of eating disorder behavior, improper use of household cleaning products, Overhaul is a mean man 90% of this fic is just Overhaul being an asshole to you
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There are going to be bruises on your shoulders. Fingerprint shaped bruises from the men holding you steady, afraid that you'll try to sprint off--maybe afraid that you'll try to spring at their boss, disobedient, unruly possession that you are.
You know that Overhaul won't like it when he eventually sees those black-and-blue fingerprints marring your skin--he might kill them for it, or worse. They're digging in too hard, but you don't warn them to ease up lest they find themselves on the wrong end of Overhaul's hands; they brought you back to this place, after all, and they deserve nothing but your hot, raw contempt.
You could run. You could slip out of their grip, if you put your mind to it. Your clothes are wet and the medical table that you're sitting on is slippery from the rainwater that's dripped out from your soaked clothes. But Chisaki Kai--no, Overhaul, you remind yourself, for the energy he’s exuding now is very much that of a foreboding boss--is standing in front of you, and you'd never make it to the doorway.
"Leave us," Overhaul says, not bothering to move as the men gripping your shoulders release their painful hold and swiftly leave the room. He tears off a sanitizing wipe from the ever-present canister on his desk and wipes down the doorknobs that they touched, before locking the door. An unnecessary precaution, given your nerves, given your state, given your realization that your escape attempt was a massive fluke that would never be allowed to happen again.
You numbly watch as he gathers up supplies from around the makeshift clinic he'd created in the small suite of rooms he allowed you to exist in. The canister of disinfectant. Medical-grade soaps. Sponges. A bucket. Needles, needles, needles... you remember the feel of the syringe you'd stolen in your hand and distract yourself from the fear of what he's going to do to you by retracing the steps of the past day.
**
You got farther than you thought you would--really, you did. At every stage of your plan, you expected Chisaki to suddenly reveal that he knew every step you'd taken so far. That he'd catalogued every act of false obedience to lure him into relaxing the rules, that he saw you swipe the syringe of tranquilizer from the clinic when he'd left for a moment to grab a fresh pair of clothes for you, that he knew you asked to sit with him at his desk only to sneak a glance at his calendar, so you could sweetly plead for an afternoon in the garden when he would be busy, when he would surely ask a highly trusted subordinate to watch over you.
A highly trusted subordinate who knew all about your weeks of good, sweet behavior and who was none the wiser when you'd jabbed him with the syringe, plunging the medicine, the same kind your captor once used to 'calm you down' when you were having fits, right into the man’s thigh. 
You didn't hesitate: you'd dipped your hands into the man's pockets, pulled out his wallet and ran. You barely remember anything until you were in the forest--you vaguely remember using the key card to open the gates surrounding the base, you remember the fear that at any moment you would hear an alarm sound; but from there, everything was a blur as you sped into the forest wearing only the soft day shoes you'd been given to go outside.
You made it through the forest, though not without bumps and cuts and sore feet and a dimly throbbing ankle that was thankfully only turned. You ran until you reached a small town, one you'd never been in before. You buried your first instinct deep, deep, deep: do not contact the authorities. Who knows what connections Overhaul had, especially in a town so close to where he operated? So instead you waltzed into a little corner shop and made a beeline for the bathroom--where you promptly vomited out your breakfast as all of the anxiety and fear and adrenaline caught up with you in an instant.
You remember staring into the bathroom mirror afterwards, your face cold with splashed water. It was then, staring into your pale and anxious face, a face you hadn’t been allowed to see in a mirror for ages, that you felt freedom slamming back into you. You could do what you wanted, now. You were going to get your life back. You could make your own schedule and have your own hobbies back and eat what you wanted and--your stomach had gurgled, as if on cue. You had to get something to eat. But how would you pay?
The wallet you'd pilfered felt heavy in your pocket, and you opened it without a second thought. No cash. But a credit card. It would do, until you were able to get some cash of your own. You wandered back into the shop and even now, you can still feel how struck you were by how cozy, how nice, how different it felt. Just a small general store with big open windows and soft music in the background, and an old woman behind the register who immediately asked you if you needed any help finding this or that.
You smiled--a real smile, how nice that felt--and shook your head and loaded up a basket. A first-aid kit, a large water bottle, a toothbrush and toothpaste... then came the snacks. Candy. Chips. Soda. Things you hadn't tasted in so long. You even grabbed a pointless fashion magazine. The old woman had glanced at the name on the card and you offered a sheepish smile, a fake one that made you feel a pang of guilt for lying to her: "My boyfriend sent me to do the shopping. He's no good at this stuff." She'd smiled and nodded, oh I understand dear, before packing up your order.
You stepped out into the sunshine--you can't pretend like you remember how it feels, right now, shivering from the damp rain on this table--and took a deep breath of fresh air. It smelled crisp and sweet and clean. Not the sterile cleanliness of your captor's clinic, but truly pure--real. There was a slight tinge to the air, and you spotted grey clouds on the horizon. Not an omen, no: just another sign that you were outside, you were in nature, you were free. The smell was the promise of thunder, of electricity, of cool rain.
It also smelled like... well, lunch. Or more precisely, you smelled the vague scents of the little pizza shop a few shops down.
And here is where you made, looking back, your biggest mistake. You should have headed to a bus station. Or called for a taxi. You should have gotten the hell out of there right that second. But your mind flashed back to Overhaul's little calendar, the words printed neatly in the little square for today: he would be away until the evening, which meant you (surely, surely) had a few more hours before he came back and discovered your escape.
He’d ordered no one to bother you and your now-unconscious guard in the garden, so if no one saw you run out, then an alarm certainly wouldn’t raised for a while. You had time, didn't you? Time to grab a meal? You could always get it to go, and you could even ask an employee inside about buses or taxes. Yes, it was fine--you would get a few slices to go and hop on a bus and leave forever. More than that, it was practical. You needed energy, and the junk in your bag--while undoubtedly delicious--wasn't going to be enough to sustain you for long.
The door to the pizza place dinged when you entered, and you almost teared up at the normality of it. It was a buffet style place, with rows of pizzas under yellow-cast lights and rows of red booths and people lifting slices onto their plates with shared tongs. Unusual for a small town, but maybe it was a remnant from a more bustling time, when American-style pizza places were all the rage. For a moment, your thoughts had turned back to your captivity: Overhaul would have never set foot into a place like this--nor would he have let you. Germs, germs, everywhere. And you loved it.
You paid with the card, but there was no need for excuses this time--the young man behind the register didn't even check for a name or signature, much less ask for identification. You asked about a to-go box and he'd shrugged, mumbled out an apology--they didn't do that here. You have to eat inside.
For a moment, the rational part of your mind screamed: get the hell out of here, then! But your stomach growled, and hunger beckoned, and damn if that row of glistening pizza slices didn't make you want to eat. And eat.  And… eat. You shoved repressed thoughts deep down, your heart hammering all the while, and took a tentative step towards the buffet. Thunder rumbled as you debated. You could be out of here in... 30 minutes? Enough time to eat--to binge, your mind whispered, you can now--and maybe get it out after? Yes, it would be fine. (It would not. Future you, the one sitting on the table and watching in increasing anxiety as Overhaul finishes up his tasks, wishes she could tell you.)
You should have seen the start of the rain, sudden and relentless, as a bad sign. Instead you ignored it and filled up a large cup with diet soda that spilled a little when you forgot to let go of the button. You ate without thinking, not even really enjoying the taste of the first greasy pizza slices you’d had in ages.
You were on your fifth slice when the restaurant doors dinged, but the sense of small town charm was overrun by the immediate realization that you were caught. You were fucked. The air thickened--were you the only one to notice?--as two men in slim suits entered the restaurant with an air of immediacy. You were spotted in a second, if that. You thought about running.
But then you thought about the bored teenager behind the register and the old man cutting up his wife's pizza slices because she had trouble chewing and the little girl stacking up pepperonis while her mom chatted on the phone and you resigned yourself. You didn’t want anyone else to get hurt…even if it meant giving in. You didn't struggle, couldn't struggle, and let them lead you swiftly outside where the torrent of rain soaked you immediately  as they pushed you down the block, where an unmarked car waited. You glanced up helplessly as the cloudy sky and rain streamed down your face before you were unceremoniously pushed into the backseat.
Overhaul was sitting inside, staring at you with an intensity you've never seen before.
**
Your backpack drops with a thump next to you and you flinch out of your memories.
"Let's see what you bought with that stolen card during your little adventure."  His voice is deceptively calm. He must be furious with you, you think. And you can't believe you didn't think about credit fraud alerts before you used the damn card.
The noise of the zipper is thunderous and you scoot yourself back on the exam table, pressing against the wall to put a little more room--even if it's only inches--between you and your captor. He begins to pull everything out of the bag, one by one, and seeing it all lined up makes it clear what type of lecture is coming.
A few bags of chips, a bottle of soda, bars of chocolate, all junk, junk, junk. All food he would never permit you to eat, and certainly not in such quantities.
"Disgusting," he murmurs, before tossing each item into a trash bin kept against the wall, one by one. You cringe at the sound of each bag, each bottle, hitting the bottom of the trash. You didn't even get to taste them. He stares at the trash, eyes narrowed, as if the food itself was worthy of his venom. "Full of unnecessary sugars and fats and oils. Eating so much of this will make you sick. We've talked about this."
You say nothing. You press your lips together. You won't give him the satisfaction of argument. You won't let him pretend like he has any right to lecture you on what you eat, and certainly not what you eat after you've escaped (however briefly) from his clutches.
"At least you didn't have time to ingest them during your ill-planned escape, hm?" He replaces his previous gloves--tainted with the thought of germs on the junk food bags, no doubt--and your stomach flips at the sound of the medical gloves he's snapped on in their place. "Which is more than I can say for the pizza." You never knew someone could say pizza with such a ridiculously nasty tone, but you've learned a lot of things during your captivity.
"You weren't content with this junk hoard," he says, gesturing towards the trash while keeping his eyes firmly on you. "You had to gorge yourself on greasy pizza from a dirty buffet, too? We are going to clean your mouth out, by the way.”
You hate the way he says gorge--you hate the way he says greasy--you hate the anxiety that comes with wondering what he’ll do to ‘clean’ your mouth. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. The hate makes you answer defensively, despite your earlier resolution to stay quiet. You can't help yourself, in a lot of ways.
"I was hungry," you say, still feeling defiant.
"No one working on their fifth slice of pizza is hungry," he answers, simply. You feel diminished, but not enough to shut you up.
"So? It's not your business what I eat anyway.” A familiar tightness is springing to your throat. You don't want to cry in front of him ever again, so you clip the words out, fighting to retain control.
He presses a fist to his forehead in a sudden, rather surprising show of frustration. "Not my business? Not my business? It's my business to take care of you. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you out there?"
The fullness in your stomach, the cold rain soaking you, the remembrance of the wind and branches lashing at you as you ran hours before, all these freedoms have made you feel bold. Or maybe you're succumbing to the effects of an adrenaline crash and you just can't control your mouth.
"I could have been free. You can’t--you can't just keep me here. You can't just kidnap someone and decide you know what's best for them."
There's a long, steady pause as he stares at you. His expression--what you can see from his eyes--is blank, and you almost wonder if perhaps you've stumped him.
"I can," he says, lightly. Easily.
Fucker.
He sighs, and you get the distinct impression that you’re a nuisance, something to deal with, something he’s having to deal with instead of doing far more important things. "You’re showing a severe lack of appreciation for all the work I do to take care of you."
You don't know how to respond to that. "You kidnapped me.” It’s all you can think of--the bare truth.
He doesn't speak at first. Then he lifts something from the supply tray he's set up--a blue hospital gown, thin and short, and tosses it towards you. You catch it instinctively, feeling the thin, feather-light material in your fingers. He tosses a towel, next, and you hold it against your damp chest. He turns around.
"Change."
You don't want to. You don't want to. But you've never pressed your luck on what would happen if you refused to get dressed before, afraid that he might do it himself, and that fear overrides any thoughts of outright rebellion. For now. You slide off your wet clothes and push them towards the end of the table, then use the towel to dry off your skin. There are scratches and bruises, including a nasty looking one that's already turning green on your ankle. Your feet are swollen from running on the hard forest floor with your thin day shoes.
When you're finished, you clear your throat, and he turns back around. He tosses your wet clothes right into the trash--damn, you liked that shirt--and wipes off the table with a separate towel. You sit, legs dangling off the table, and wish he'd just get the punishment or examination or whatever it is he has planned over with. You can feel the coldness of the table through the medical gown, and its thinness makes you feel even more helpless. Weak. You want to retain that feeling of freedom that you had earlier in the day. Even choosing to return without a fight, choosing to avoid hurting the innocent people in that town, made you feel bold.
He stands in front of you until you force yourself to look up, to get it over with. He's swapped out his mask for a medical one.
"Have I ever hurt you?"
You hate this.
"No," you admit, voice tight. "Not physically," you add spitefully, because fuck him for trying to make himself sound like a decent person because he kidnapped you but didn't happen to hit you.
"Do I take care of you?" His tone is firm, commanding. It leaves no room for silences. Instead, it makes your stomach feel light, makes your heart feel like it wants to race.
"I can do that on my own," you counter.
"Can you?" He says, voice dripping in condescension.
"Yes," you spite, bile rising into your throat. "I can take care of myself."
He reaches back and grabs the little stool he keeps in this room, rolling it up to rest in front of the table and in front of you. He sits down and cups his hands together, resting them on his thigh. He leans forward. An easy gesture. Like he wants to have a conversation. But something about his movements sends out warning signals. Big, glaring, flashing warning lights that scream DANGER.
“You can take care of yourself.” It’s a statement, yet the way he says it is brutally mocking.
“I can,” you insist, your voice cracking just the slightest bit under his gaze.
"So, where would you live?" He watches you intently and it takes a moment for you to realize what he just asked you. He isn't offering you freedom, no. But maybe you can win an argument, just this once, and forcibly stop his delusions that he's "taking care of you."
"Anywhere," you say, but he looks unimpressed. "An apartment," you correct. "Like my old one. Doesn't have to be big." Your heart pangs with nostalgia for your old place, for your independence, for your life.
"Ah." Overhaul brings a gloved finger up to his chin and rests is there, nodding, as if he's seriously considering your words. "And how will you pay for rent at this apartment?"
You can't resist the snarky tone. "A job."
He rests both hands on his thighs. "Tell me, how much did you make at your last job, again? No--tell me, how long did you hold your last job?" You cross your arms defensively around your waist as he continues. "If I recall correctly, you were fired rather quickly from that one... and the one before."
You squeeze your waist, hoping for the tiniest bit of comfort from the gesture. "I... it wasn’t my fault.” You feel like you’re under a magnifying glass. “The first time. And the second, well, I was looking for something better, anyway."
He raises his eyebrows, curious. "Looking where? At the bottom of a bottle?"
Your entire body tenses.
"After all," he continues, voice almost taking on a syrupy sweet tone. "Your fridge was so well-stocked with them. Hmm. Do you think it's responsible to spend so much money on alcohol when you're behind on rent payments?"
"No," you say, voice tighter, "But--"
He doesn't give you a chance to finish. He stands, and you immediately squeeze your arms again. "And how much were you spending on other luxuries? Those clothes you kept carelessly shoved in your closet... they were a name brand, weren't they?"
Your throat is dry and your mouth is dry and you lick your lips. "There were sales," you insist.
"Ohh," he says, his voice lifting in mockery. "And I bet there were sales on the jewelry, the trinkets, the--" his eyes drift upwards, an implication of his disdain, "--figurines."
You lift your chin in defiance. "I'm allowed to buy things that I like."
He begins to pace. Not aimlessly, no, nothing with him is ever aimless. He paces until he stops in front of you, turning to face you for effect.
"What happens if you're late on three rent payments? Remind me of the policy that decrepit building you called an apartment complex had."
You squirm on the table. "I was only behind on two--"
"What happens?" His voice is firm. You can't avoid it.
There's a pause before you murmur, unwillingly. "You get evicted."
"So." He takes another step, and turns back towards you. "Do you think it's responsible to spend money you don't have on luxuries, when you're behind on rent?"
You want to run. Maybe you should have run at him earlier. Getting tossed into a solitary room after attacking him might be better than this interrogation.
"No," you admit. You swallow, dry and thick and a bit painful. "Okay. I'm not great with money. I bought things to make me happy because I was stressed out about---life. It's not that big a deal. I--I didn't get kicked out, anyway."
He sits again, but keeps himself upright, the air of faux casualness replaced with an air of command. "How did you catch up on your rent? Tell me."
You hate him. You stare at him, hoping he'll end this, but he simply stares at you until you blurt out the words. "You paid my landlord. Anonymously." You stare down at the floor, at the drops of water still there from earlier. "I didn't ask you to. I would have figured something out."
"I'm sure."
He stands, and you stare at the wall until you hear him roll the tray of supplies towards the table. Your body trembles of its own accord when he grabs your arm firmly and wraps a blood pressure cuff around the top. You sit in silence as the cuff gets tighter then mercifully deflates.
He tsks at the number, and jots it down on the pad resting on the table. For once, you're not tempted to peek.
"I need to take some blood," he says, and you stick out your arm in automatic, habitual compliance before your brain even realizes it. He grips your wrist firmly while he swipes your arm with an anti-bacterial agent.
"How much do you weigh?" He asks suddenly, voice nonchalant.
You stare at him, incredulous. He's never brought up weight before. He’s always been careful to avoid details about weight, nutrition--calories. The most he would do is point out that you need a well-rounded diet with the right vitamins and nutrients, and ignore your questions about sauces and cooking oils and grams, all attempts to find out something that could give you an ounce of control over what’s going into your body.
"I--I don't know.  You don't let me look at the scale when I step on it." He knows this. He knows that he's forbidden you from seeing the number, because he knows about your past, knows your tendency to get obsessive and strict and focus on food and weight and worth.
"Why don't I let you look at the scale?"
Your stomach feels like it's twisting.
"I don't know." The lie is bitter on your tongue.
The casual tone in his voice when he replies is far more biting than any cruel insult. "Yes, you do." 
His words are punctuated by the harsh medicinal smell of the next wipe. But you're in no mood to appreciate that he's still choosing to numb your skin despite your earlier transgressions.
The tears you felt building earlier begin to prick at the corner of your eyes. You don't want to cry, you don't want to cry, you don't want to cry.
“Why don’t I let you look at the scale?” He repeats, firmer, more insisting. He winds a band around your arm and taps at your veins.
Your arm looks fatter, like this. You swear it does. You look away to avoid your arm and the needle and his gaze.
“Because, um, I sometimes have problems with food. Or weight. Or whatever.”
“You have an eating disorder,” he tells you, all business as he plunges the needle into your skin; there’s only the ghost of a sting as he begins to slowly draw your blood. But you barely feel it, you can only feel the impact of his words, blunt and hateful.
"You were going to throw up in that germ-infested hovel. Eat until your stomach was distended, then head into a bathroom--which I'm sure the staff hadn't cleaned in ages--and stick your unwashed, greasy fingers down your throat until it all came back up. Am I correct?"
You can't tell if you feel woozy because of the needle or the way that your heart is racing at his words. Throw up. Greasy. Disgusting. You're disgusting.
"Stop it," you say, voice muddled with humiliation and anger.
He pulls the needle out, and quickly presses a bandage to your skin. He keeps a finger there, firm and pressing. He looks up at you, now, as he continues his onslaught.
"And then what? Let me make an educated guess. You were going to get on some filthy bus and open up all the junk you bought earlier? Perhaps," he muses, as he rips off a piece of tape to keep the gauze in place, "you could have asked the bus driver to stop at a public bathroom for a vomit break. And you'd probably make sure that whatever flea-ridden hotel you found along the way had a scale in the bathroom so you could keep track. And another one of your delightful," he practically spits the word out, "cycles would have started, hm?"
"Stop it," you repeat, voice breaking. "I wasn't--I wouldn't have--"
"You were going to," he says simply, interrupting. "Thankfully, we got there in time. Although I'm sure now you will endure a stomach ache after your reckless indulgence. A lesson, perhaps, though not the exact one I would inflict myself."
As if on cue, your stomach rolls and clenches. You’re keenly aware that you’re going to have digestive problems tonight, and the thought of being at his mercy while you’re dealing with them threatens to send you over the edge.  Could you get even more disgusting? The thought of how you look right now, stomach no doubt bulging, hair disheveled and damp, covered in ugly bruises and cuts--combined with the fear of spending the night on a toilet sends you over the edge.
You press your knuckles against your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut and try to force the sobs down. Your body begins to tremble, even more so as he lifts your leg. Without warning, he begins to unceremoniously scrub it down with a sponge dipped in disinfectant.
It stings and your eyes feel like they might pop at the sudden pain. You hiss at the feeling of the liquid on your cuts and try to pull away, to no avail. Your legs feel like jelly in his grip.
“That hurts,” you whine. 
“It can’t be helped,” he tells you, holding your leg firmly as he scrubs the sore bottom of your feet. Any sensitivity you had there is overruled by the soreness and pain from running, from the stinging aches that remain in your cuts. “I have to clean every cut or you may get an infection.”
He sets your leg down and lifts up the other, and you cringe before he even begins to move. You can’t help but whimper as he scrubs your leg, and the helpless stings of pain only increase when he moves on to your arms.
“Please,” you say, feeling low, nearly flattened. “I can’t… I can’t take this.”
He pauses, and the seemingly genuine concern in his eyes (it’s not, you remind yourself, it’s not--you think of the shop and the pizza place and the old man cutting his wife’s food, that was concern, that was care) has you feeling sorry for yourself.
“The stinging will go away in a few minutes. You chose to run away, you can certainly deal with this minor consequence.” He retains his grip on your upper arm and he swipes the sponge across your shoulders, briefly pushing the fabric aside as he does so. He pauses when he sees the blooming fingerprints on your shoulders, but says nothing.  You wonder if those men will survive the night.
There’s a a cut, thin and long, dragging from your collarbone down across your chest. He dips unceremoniously below the gown, touching you in a spot he normally avoids. The feeling of him so close, touching you--not quite on your chest, but close enough--only intensifies your humiliation. You whimper again and try to pull away, but his grip offers no room to move.
“I can’t--” You don’t finish. Your throat is so tight and you hate it, you hate that you can never talk about anything with him, never argue with him without clamming up with tears and a thick throat.
You bring your hands up to your hair, tugging on it until it prickles. Your breath starts to come in short bursts, your chest having as you pull on your hair and will yourself to be anywhere but here. For a flashing moment, you wish you’d never tried to escape. If you didn’t, you’d be getting ready for bed right now. Things would be--not okay. Never okay. But you wouldn’t be here, on this table, cold and stinging and in pain and utterly despondent from having your failures shoved in your face. But then you remember that if he’d never kidnapped you, you wouldn’t have had to try to escape in the first place, and the wish fades.
He remains silent, and instead simply keeps a steady, firm grip on your upper arm until your breath slows, until you can control yourself. Your skin feels at once numb and prickling in anxiety and adrenaline and emotions coursing through you.
Overhaul gives your arm a squeeze that is, perhaps, meant to be reassuring. “Are you suitably recovered?
You nod. Your stomach feels sour. You want to ask if you’re done, if you can just go sleep or get sent (you dread the idea) to solitary confinement or whatever it is he has planned in the wake of your escape. Anything would be better than this room and this soft, thin gown and his bright blue surgical gloves and your failure hanging in the air.
He extends his arm out and you pause for a moment before you grasp it, holding tight as you get off the table and stand on wobbly legs. You’re loathe to touch him, but you’re even more loathe to fall flat on your face on the hard floor.
He speaks before you get a chance to ask if you can change out of the medical gown.
“Now, we’ll go to the bathroom.”
Your knees suddenly feel like they might drop out from under you. “The bathroom?”
He nods, and pulls himself away from your weak grip as he begins walking towards the door. You follow without thinking, pausing when he stops to slide his medical gloves into the trash before slipping on another pair.
“We’re not finished here,” he tells you, and you swear his voice is almost giddy as he turns his head to meet your questioning face. “I told you earlier, we’re going to clean your mouth out.”
He can’t mean--
You take a step back, and your knee buckles. He’s quick--he catches you before you fall, but doesn’t let go. His pulls you upright and pulls you along. Your legs have no choice to walk--walk or be dragged--and you struggle for words as he leads you out of the clinic. Before you know it, you’re back in your room (familiar, warm, the same as it ways this morning) and led swiftly into the attached bathroom.
He pulls you in far enough that he’s able to shut the door behind him, trapping you inside. As if you wouldn’t be trapped by his mere presence. For a moment you wonder if he was bluffing, trying to scare you into submission, but by the time you take another breath he’s running the sink water and tearing into a new box of bar soap.
Your voice catches as you finally speak up. “You--you can’t be serious.”
“What makes you think I’m not serious?” He doesn’t even face you as he speaks. Instead, he turns on the tap and fills a paper cup with water before setting it on the sink’s edge. Next comes the bar of white soap, which grows slick underneath the water. He turns off the tap and lets the excess water drip off, before turning to you, soap bar in hand.
“Open your mouth.”
Your lips press together automatically, and you shake your head. No, no, and no. This isn’t happening.
He sighs, and again the feeling that you’re annoying him creeps under your skin. Why does it bother you that you’re annoying him? It shouldn’t bother you at all, but somehow you feel a pang of regret at how much has changed in less than 24 hours. 
“If you don’t open your mouth willingly, I will open it for you.” He takes a step closer, but your legs feel heavy now, rooted to the spot. It isn’t like there’s anywhere you could run, anyway. “I don’t want to do that,” he continues, voice slightly softened. “Cooperate and open your mouth.”
What choice do you have? You could protest, you could argue, you could leap into the bathtub and make him fight for what he wants. You could keep your mouth shut tight and force him to find a solution. But he is stronger than you, in more ways than one, and he would get his way in the end.
So you make the only choice available to you. Your entire mouth shakes and seems to fight against you as you slowly open your lips in compliance. You feel stupid, standing here with your mouth hanging open.
You can’t reflect on the feeling for long, as he wastes no time in shoving the bar inside your open lips. You can’t help but whimper at the intrusion, but he doesn’t let up and begins methodically scrubbing at your tongue. At first, there’s no taste--then the built-up slick of clinical soap makes itself known, and you take advantage of the soap slipping out of your lips to press them together again, denying him entry.
“Open,” he orders, soft and firm.
And you do, heaving your shoulders in an unreleased whimper. What else can you do but listen? He continues to scrub, this time moving the bar into the side of your mouth to scrub at your teeth. The clammy, greasy feeling of soap coating your teeth makes you curl your wide open lips downward. You must look ridiculous, in all respects, lips gaping in an unpleasant frown as your captor mercilessly soaps the inside of your mouth.
“Do you not like the taste?” His eyes glance over at your frown, and the mockery in his tone is more than blatant. 
“Uhh-uhh,” you mumble, open-mouthed, shaking your head. The position you’re in--Overhaul scrubbing into your mouth, your shaking body, the dim feeling of your bruises and cuts from earlier--makes you feel so painfully exposed. So painfully helpless.
He hums and rests the soap against your tongue. Before you can attempt to move your tongue, lessen the feeling of the taste of the soap against it, he gives you a command.
“Bite down.”
Your teeth sink into the soft bar, keeping it in place, and your whimpers grow stronger at the humiliating order you’ve just obeyed. Could you sink any lower?
You watch him through tear-brimmed eyes as he moves to stand in front of you. You know what’s coming before he even speaks and when he does, it’s no surprise.
“Have I ever hurt you?”
Back to this, again.
You shake your head, mumble around the soap: “No.”
“Are you capable of being on your own?”
You hesitate, and he merely jumps to another question, one far more pointed.
“Have you held a single job for longer than a year?”
You want to protest, but any attempt at complicated speech is marred by the soap--the weight of it, the taste, and your need to keep it steady in your mouth.
“No,” you admit, hating the feel of the bar as your lips press against it with the effort of speech.
“Would you have been evicted if I didn’t pay off your debts?”
“Yes.” Tears sting at your eyes. You want to wipe them away but you’re afraid you’ll get soap in them, somehow.
“Are you responsible enough with money to hold a job, maintain an apartment, and buy yourself the necessities for life without someone else stepping in?”
The soap somehow tastes even more bitter. “No, I can’t.” Your tongue pushes up against the soap at this, and you resolve to keep it to one-word answers only.
“If we didn’t intercept your little outing, would you have attempted to throw up at that restaurant today?”
You shake your head, but it’s a lie, and you know it’s a lie--and he knows it’s a lie. So you nod, weakly. “Mm-hmm.”
“Have I been feeding you healthy meals? Have I been ensuring that you don’t engage in disgusting self-destructive behaviors?”
He has, but that’s not--your mind wants to argue, but you’re so tired and sick and your stomach hurts and the taste of the soap is too much. So you nod, instead.
He nods in response, and you pray that he’ll take the soap out and end this. Instead, he lifts your chin with a single finger, making you keep eye contact as he speaks.
“Do I take care of you?”
“Yes,” you cry out, your words garbled around the wet soap bar. He releases your chin and it’s these words, this final question, that make you break entirely. Your shoulders ache from bruises as you cry, hunching over slightly and watching as some drool-laden soap droplets fall on the floor. “Yes, yes, yes,” you repeat, mechanically, crying around the bitter soap that’s digging into your front teeth.
Satisfied, he takes hold of the bar and waits for you to release it, then tosses it with ease into the trash. You blubber and spit, only succeeding in releasing a trail of soapy drool down your chin. Your tears are hot and stinging as they roll down your cheeks. You open your mouth, you try to say something, but all that comes out is soft cries punctuated by your attempts to spit out the soapy film.  
“Look at you,” he murmurs, bringing a gloved hand up to your cheek and wiping at the tears. “My poor thing. You can’t even speak. You can’t even articulate yourself. How could you ever hope to make it on your own?” His words are soft and cruel and you merely cry harder, humiliated and helpless.
Your throat is sore. Your stomach hurts. You want your warm nightgown on. You want to be in bed. You wish your stomach didn’t hurt so much from eating junk. You wish you weren’t covered in cuts and bruises. You wish you’d just enjoyed the garden and went back inside. You wish you’d never done this at all. You’re so stupid. You’re so stupid.
And you finally say so, all of it, blubbering, bits of soapy drool dribbling out of your mouth as you cry and admit your faults out loud.
After your wrought-out apology dissolves into meaningless whimpers, Overhaul finally grabs the glass of water he set on the edge of the sink, and you gratefully swish the lukewarm liquid with earnest. You lean over the sink and spit, body trembling, then fill the cup again and repeat the gesture again and again to get rid of every bit of white soap stuck in your mouth. Even as you spit, you realize that the taste isn’t going to be completely gone anytime soon--it’s stuck in your mouth like a bad memory.
You jerk when his hands are suddenly on your back, rubber gloves sliding up and down the thin medical gown covering your cold, helpless body. But he merely keeps rubbing, gentle and soothing, while you swish and spit, and cry and cry.
His hands leave your back only to grab a washcloth from the built-in shelves across from the toilet. You watch as he wets the cloth and you stand silently, allowing him to wipe up the drool and soap from your chin, your neck, even a bit on your chest where it dribble-dropped downward.
When you’re all cleaned up, he fills up a cup with mouth wash and silently hands it to you. You gratefully swish it for as long as possible before spitting it into the sink. The soap taste is still there, but lessened somewhat by the overpowering mint of the mouthwash. He gestures to your toothbrush and you pick it up, and begin mechanically brushing your teeth, stopping when the 2-minute timer flashes on the bottom. You instinctively grab your floss without having to be told and make quick work of that, too.
He opens the door to the bathroom, but gestures for you to wait. You do, standing numbly, wishing that he let you have a mirror so you could see your own state. But he doesn’t, and you can’t, and so you wait until he returns with a bundle in his arms.
It’s your pajamas. A soft, pink nightgown--he didn’t pick the soft blue one, tonight, and you’re grateful to avoid any reminders of the medical gown you have on--with matching socks and underwear. You nod and accept the bundle meekly. He turns around and you make quick work of the medical gown, tossing it in the trash yourself before you get dressed for bed.
“M’done,” you mumble, though you quickly realize speaking makes the lingering soap taste stronger. You follow him silently out of the bathroom and into your bedroom, which is just as you left it that morning. The only thing different is you. Subdued, humiliated, helpless.
Overhaul pulls the cover on your bed and you sit down, numb and chastened. You pull your legs up and tuck them under the soft comforter. You’re forcing yourself into the routine you’ve been following for the past few weeks, but the secret thrill you once had of obeying with ulterior movies is no longer there. It’s been replaced by a heavy stillness, the knowledge that you failed in more ways than one. The occasional roll of your stomach reminds you that the night may not be over, bedtime routine be damned.
But you ignore it for now, and you lean your head back on your pillow as he pulls the comforter towards your shoulders, tucking you in. Rather than leave immediately, he sits next to you on the bed, looking down at you with an obsessive, possessive expression in his eyes.
You force down an instinctive flinch when he suddenly begins to stroke the top of your forehead, moving up to pet your hair softly. His gloves are gone. While not completely new, it’s rare--rare enough that the feeling of his bare fingers is still an unusual sensation.
You close your eyes. It usually makes him leave faster. Your heart begins to pound as you hear him stand, as you sense him leaning in, as you feel the ghost of his breath against your face.
“Sweet dreams. We’ll start fresh in the morning.”
What a silly thing to say, you think. Your dreams are never sweet anymore.
926 notes · View notes
drakenology · 4 years ago
Text
A B C’s with Todoroki Shoto.
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hiii! so I got this little idea while leisurely scrolling through bnha smut. idk if this creator is the originator of the trend but I wanna give credit anyways so shout out to @nillabeam​ for inspiring me to drabble on and on about my shoto doin the dirty. 
warnings: smut (obvi so 18+ please), slight daddy kink, all characters are aged up, and some swearing cause I feel like it. 
enjoy my little heathens!
A- Aftercare
Oh don’t be fooled by Todo’s calm and stoic demeanor. He is fucking insatiable in bed. 
But after a long night of ravishing you until you’re drunk on his cock, he’ll run you both a bath to soak your muscles in and relax.
Would help you in and out of the bath as he washed you up, rinsing your back for you. 
He’d leave kisses where he left harsh hickies. 
Would tell you how much he loved you, and gush about how delicate and pretty you were. EEK!!
B- Body Part 
He loved your breasts. 
You would often catch him staring at them as you talked to him, earning a stern look on your face to remind him to pay attention to you.
Would fuck you on your back just to watch them bounce and jiggle around 
He felt like your boobs were always so happy to see him, perking up when he would grab them. 
Would kiss them during sex and loves playing and sucking on them. 
Most of your hickies were all over them 
As for his own body, He really likes how toned and strong his arms got. 
He wants to protect you, so he got stronger so he can beat people up for you if he needed to. aww how sweet. 
C- Cum
He cums all over his favorite part of your body (see B). 
He also likes to cum inside you, cause he’s got a small teeny weeny breeding kink. 
You always cum first.. like it’s mandatory. He simply can’t bring himself to do it knowing you haven’t had your fill. 
When you go down on him thoooooo..
He loved to cum all over your pretty face. He always thought you looked gorgeous painted in his cum. 
He’d kiss your lips after you gave him head if a little bit of his hot cum was still on your mouth. 
D- Dirty Secret
As I said, Todoroki was a stoic and cool person out in public. 
He didn’t appear to be as sexually savant as he is 
but BABY
I’m tellin you, in the bedroom Todo is a beast. 
He really liked being called daddy.
It was something about watching your cute little face twist in pleasure whine and beg for him to fuck you. 
“Address me right, princess.” ASDGFJKF
HUGE daddy kink, da fuqq.
E- Experience 
eh.. some.
He had another girlfriend before you; some girl Endeavor set him up with. She cheated on him. 
but yeah.. my baby knows what he’s doing.
He loved showing you his moves. Watching your amazed and fucked out face was his favorite part of fucking you. 
F- Favorite Position
He loved them all tbh. 
He liked to experiment with a lot of different positions, getting bored pretty quickly.
But his tried and true is missionary.
He got to watch your face react to his every maneuver, kiss your neck to mark you up as his territory as he whispers in your ear sweet praises 
“Good girl, kitten.” “So good for me.” “You feel so good, baby”
Also your luscious breasts were front and center for him to stare at as he pounds you ooooooooo. 
G- Goofy
Yeah soo.. Shoto is a little serious. A little too serious in fact. 
Once when you two were making out he lifted you up, trying to carry you into your room as he bumped your head on the door frame. 
God it was like you were on life support or something
He apologized a million times, blaming himself as if he severely hurt you. 
You just giggle and kiss him in hopes it’ll shut him up and calm his worrying. You knew it was just an accident. 
H- Hair
He kept himself pretty trim, not really liking having a lot of hair on his body, for the exception of his arms and legs. He couldn’t help that he was a hairy guy (I imagine Endeavor being a lil hairy under his hero costume soo genetics?)
I- Intimacy
 he’s such a hopeless romantic it’s adorable.
he dotes on you the whole time, ensuring he’s not hurting you too much 
would kiss you over and over again
wants to you be comfortable at all times. 
in moments like these you’re the only thing that matters. 
J- Jack off
If for whatever reason he’s away, he always calls you. 
“I need you baby, what are you wearing right now?” He’ll ask, no matter if he’s in an important meeting or away on business, if he’s horny he’s horny.
Needs your voice to help him through his orgasm. 
Loves to facetime when he’s away so he can see your face and your body. 
“Yes, god Y/N you’re so perfect. Bend over for me.. yes..” He groaned, sloppily palming away at his length as he comes to his climax.
K- Kink
he’s got a lot sksksns
definitely a fucking dom
loves telling you what to do, always calling the shots in bed most of the time
Loves pet names, “baby girl” “kitten” “princess” 
overstimulates you sometimes just to see you squirm under him, the sick bastard. 
high key a sadist.. he’ll never openly admit to that tho
L- Location 
anywhere, surprisingly. 
If you two were out with friends and he felt an urge to taste you, he’d simply say you two are going to the car to get something, only to start having sex with you in the back seat. 
Fucks you in his office
Fucked you in his childhood bedroom once as a fuck you to his father. haha.
down for whateva.
M- Motivation
one thing that always got him going was you acting coy. Like you don’t know that what you’re doing is turning him on. 
You lean a little more, your blouse unbuttoned so he can see your ample cleavage. 
“What do you mean, Sho?” You bat your eyelashes, smirking at him as you watch his face turn red. 
“Fuck Y/N, don’t be cute. You’ll be sorry when we get home.” He would hiss at you, secretly not wanting you to stop teasing him.
He loved your sexy ass.
N-No 
he hated excessive hitting or pain play.
he was always too scared to hurt you, knowing he could by mistake at any given point. 
he just won’t hit you.. so don’t ask.
O- Oral
he loved sloppy, degrading head from you. 
fucks your throat sometimes, loves hearing you gag. 
when he gives you head though, he’s relentless.
he wont stop until your sobbing, begging him to fill you as he ate you out, shallowly fingering you with one finger to make you.
“Aw.. look at you. So desperate. You want me inside you, kitten?” UGHHH
P- Pace
depends on the situation or what mood he’s in. 
when he’s making love to you, his pace is slow and methodical, wanting to savor the moment
however when you’ve been bad... FUCK
he’s gonna pound you into the mattress until you’re a fucked out mess underneath him, begging him to slow down so you can catch you breath
“Don’t cry now, princess. You had so much mouth earlier.” He would mock you, smirking at your weakened state. Yall I-
Q- Quickies
as much as he loved taking his time with you, quickies were something that were quite vital for you two.
Shoto was always busy with something as he always kept himself occupied to provide for you two. 
Whenever the opportunity arises, you two strike while the iron’s hot
R- Risk 
Shoto likes to explore every aspect of sex, so that leaves for lots of room for exploration.
Finding new spots to touch and lick and suck on. 
He loved taking risks if it meant he got to listen to your sweet moans. 
S- Stamina
uhm.. yes. 
he had a fuck ton, you often cumming multiple times before he did. 
“I hope you’re not tapping out on me. I’m not through with you yet.” He would coo to you, urging you to yet another orgasm. 
he almost felt bad for you, as you twitch and shake overstimulated from his stamina being filled to the goddamn brim. 
T- Toys
he used them on you a lot.
loved little bullet vibrators, they were so handy in helping him send you into a frenzy. 
one night he had made you squirt when he used one on you as he fucked you senseless. 
“Ooh I know you’ve got some more in there for me, kitten. Be a good girl and do that again.” 
he also liked to watch you fuck yourself with a dildo. 
he found it pretty easy to degrade you as he watched you try mimic his thrusts with it. 
“You wish that was me don’t you, kitten? Too bad.” 
U- Unfair 
he totally LOVES teasing you
in public especially, loving to see you flustered and speechless as you try and talk to others. 
“What’s wrong, princess? You seem a little hot.” He’d say, caressing your inner thigh under the table at dinner. 
V- Volume
todo isn’t very loud in bed.
he’ll grunt and groan against your skin has he fucked you 
definitely cussing a lot under his breath and whispering praises or obscenities in your ear as he took you. 
“Ugh..baby. You feel so good.” “You’re mine..all mine.” “Shit, you’re so wet.”
W- Wild Card!!!
todoroki’s favorite memory of one of your ventures was when he had you bent over the kitchen sink. he didn’t think you could cum that hard around him, the feelings almost sending him into his own release.
he loved when you wore dresses to give him easy access to your pussy. 
loved fucking you in them, something about pulling it up to reveal you cheeky little panties made him feral. 
X- X-Ray
todoroki is PACKIN okay? 
i don’t imagine him being extra long, but he had really nice girth
still to this day you’re left speechless when he pulls that glizzy out his boxers. 
Y-Yearning
shoto loves you.. like a lot.
everything you do kinda sends him into a frenzy, wanting you right then and there. 
he wants sex pretty much all the time, I think the only time he’s not horny is when he’s working. 
Z- Zzz
you always fell asleep first, being that shoto wears you the fuck out
he liked to watch you sleep, leaving soft kisses all over your face. 
“I love you, Y/N.” He’d whisper, holding you close as he drifted off to sleep with you. AWWWW 
whew this shit took longer than I thought. hope yall liked this. i’m finally starting to write about more characters other than my baby daddy katsuki. bye! 
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peonyblossom · 3 years ago
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I Like Shiny Things
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Book: Open Heart (post-series)
Pairing(s): Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Sadie Oakley); mention of Thomas Hunt x F!MC (Jackie Hunt)
Words: ~1,090 
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Very slight suggestive language at the very end
Summary: 5 times Sadie hinted she wanted to get married and 1 time she took matters into her own hands
For @choicesfebruary2022challenge​ Day 1: Ring 💍
AO3 link here
Playlist mentioned in fic here :)
1. “Hey do you want to choose the music for the drive to work today?” Ethan asked Sadie as they got in the car that morning.
“Sure,” Sadie responded, pulling up a playlist she’d made recently.
The moon is high / Like your friends were the night that we first met
The playlist was titled “ethan pls propose i stg.” She hoped he would pick up on the theme.
The wine is cold / Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street
“Of course you picked Taylor Swift.” Ethan smiled.
“What? No. I just put a playlist on shuffle and she just happened to be the first song.”
“Is it a playlist you made?”
“Maybe.”
“Then it’s probably mostly Taylor Swift.”
I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings
But if Ethan picked up on the theme of the playlist, he never said anything.
2. Sadie lay on the bed next to Ethan. She was scrolling through some social media but kept glancing over at the love of her life; however, he was too engrossed in the novel he was reading to notice said glances. As she was scrolling through posts, she came across a picture of her cousin and her wife. Sadie toggled over to her cousin’s page and scrolled back until she found a post about their engagement.
“Oh, Ethan, do you remember my cousin, Des’s, wedding?” Sadie asked.
“Yeah, why?” Ethan responded, not looking up from his book.
“I just saw a post that reminded me of how fun that was. And look at how beautiful Des’s engagement ring is!” Sadie shoved her phone a little too forcefully towards Ethan’s face to show him the picture.
“Yeah, it’s nice. I don’t know much about jewelry but it looks pretty,” Ethan said after looking at the photo briefly before returning to his book.
Sadie sighed and hoped Ethan was just playing dumb.
3. “Got any plans for your day off tomorrow?” Ethan asked as they got ready for bed that night.
“Well, I was thinking about maybe getting my nails done, but I don’t know if it’s really worth it,” Sadie answered, looking at her oh-so-empty ring finger.
“What do you mean?”
“I just don’t really want to pay to get them done professionally if I don’t have a reason, you know?” Sadie sighed, a little more dramatically than necessary.
“No, I don’t know because I’ve never gotten my nails done,” Ethan said. “But I can pay for it if you really want to go.”
“You’re… offering to pay for me to get my nails done?” Sadie questioned. Maybe she was finally getting somewhere.
“Yeah. Here, I’ll leave you one of my credit cards and you can treat yourself to a whole spa day tomorrow if you want.” Ethan left to go grab his wallet, leaving Sadie bewildered. When he came back he left the card on the bedside table on her side of the bed. “You deserve it.”
So, Sadie did go to get her nails done the next day. And her ring finger stayed oh-so-empty.
4. “A patient asked about you today,” Sadie told Ethan at dinner one night.
“What did they ask exactly?” Ethan questioned.
“If Dr. Ramsey still worked on the diagnostics team. Apparently you treated their aunt a while back.”
“Wow. Small world.”
“Yeah, anyway, do you want to know what Tobias told them?” Sadie asked, somewhat impatiently.
“I have a feeling you want to tell me what Tobias said.” Ethan smirked.
“He said that, ‘that Dr. Ramsey doesn’t work on the diagnostics team anymore, but a new Dr. Ramsey might soon.”
“What exactly does that even mean?” Ethan asked, confused.
“He was talking about me. If I take your last name when we get married,” Sadie answered, nervous for Ethan’s reaction.
“But we aren’t even engaged yet. And do you even know if you want to take my last name?” Ethan responded.
“I guess I haven’t definitively decided, but I think I do want to take your last name,” Sadie admitted.
“Well, I guess you still have some time to decide anyway.” And that was the end of that conversation. They started talking about more mundane things and Sadie was once again left ringless.
5. Ethan and Sadie laid in bed, having just finished watching The Last Duchess for the millionth time.
“It’s so crazy that this film is where Jackie and Thomas Hunt met,” Sadie said. She thought they were total relationship goals.
“Pretty sure they met before,” Ethan responded.
“Yeah, but this is where they really got to know each other. When Thomas was Jackie’s boss. Kind of like how you were mine! And now they’re married and living happily ever after,” Sadie rambled.
“I’m still your boss,” Ethan said, eyebrow raised.
“Yeah, but, like… in a different way… than before. It-it’s different now,” Sadie said, causing Ethan to laugh.
“And you think we’re gonna get married and live happily ever after like Jackie and Thomas?” Ethan asked, turning to his side to face Sadie.
“Aren’t we?” Sadie faced Ethan.
“Yeah. Someday.” Ethan leaned forward and passionately kissed Sadie, and suddenly, she forgot what they were talking about.
+1. Sadie entered the apartment, closing the door a little harder than necessary. She didn’t see Ethan in the living room or kitchen so she ventured into the bedroom, finding him reading in bed.
“Hey, where were you?” Ethan asked, smiling upon seeing the love of his life.
“Shut up. Just shut up,” Sadie snapped.
“Sorry?”
“Just-just give me a minute to figure out how to say what I need to say,” Sadie rambled. She took a deep breath and paced back and forth for a bit, while Ethan put his book down and watched, confused.
“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “Okay.” She took another deep breath and got down on one knee in front of Ethan. “I love you. And I want to be the new Dr. Ramsey on the diagnostics team and I want to have a happily ever after with you like Thomas and Jackie and I would marry you with paper rings, but I got you a real ring and-and I’m asking, um, I’m asking-” She took yet another deep breath before continuing, “Ethan Jonah Ramsey, will you marry me?”
“Oh, Sadie, yes, of course,” Ethan said, holding his hand out for the ring. Sadie smiled giddily and slipped the ring onto his finger before getting up off the floor. She got into bed, straddling Ethan’s lap and kissing him. Her fiancé.
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kaeyasstarlight · 4 years ago
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Anniversary(Husband!Shoto Todoroki x Wife!Reader)
A.N: I'm just in love with husband Shoto(I mean I'm in love with all that he does) and I had the inspiration to write a little something with him(I mean most of the space in my head is for him). Also, if it's cheesy I'm sorry(I don't know why but I kinda like cheesy stuff(you can judge me TwT))
Have fun reading!
Genre:Fluff <3
Warnings: Mentions of sexual activity, Female prounons and description(She/Her), Consomation of champagne,throwing up at the end
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"Baby?"
"Love?"
"Honey?"
"The love of my life?"
"Wake up please",he was pouting at this point
You were already awake but you just wanted to play with him a little. You were trying not to laugh but he could still hear you
"I know you're awake I hear you trying not to laugh -_-"
"Please?"
"Fine I can't anymore", you said laughing
"I knew you were awake. Come here love",he showed you to go in his arms. You went in and relaxed in his hold.
"I took the day off for me and you for our special day",he muffled his face on the top of your head.
"That's awesome! We will get the opportunity to be together all day! I love you so much!"
"I love you too My Love", he kissed the top of you head.
Today was your 3 years mariage anniversary. He was the best husband you could ask for and the last 3 years were so beautiful.
"Do you want to do something in particular? It's all your choice baby."
"It's OUR special day not mine!", you said laughing a bit
"But I want to treat you like a queen today"
"You treat me like a queen everyday Shoto. Plus, I have a surprise for you tonight"
"I thought the surprise was last night ;)"
"Sho!", you blushed a bit
"We're married now, it's normal that we do this kind of stuff", he smirked a bit at you
"Anyways, how about we go take breakfast at a cafe and we'll see what we'll do from there okay?"
"Sounds good to me."
You both dressed up and got ready for your wondeful day full of love and happiness.
You arrived at the cafe and waited for your turn. When some guys were looking at you, Shoto putted an arm around your waist to show and tell them in silence: "You can look but she's mine"
You both took your orders and as you were about to pay, he took his credit card and payed for the both of you. You went in the corner to wait for your order. You looked and whispered/yelled:
"Shoto! I could've payed you know.", you pouted.
"I know Love, but I want to be the best husband ever today"
"You are the best husband everyday!"
"Thank you Love. I will let you treat me later okay? Didn't you also say you had a surprise?"
"Oh yeah that's right!"
"Order number 23."
"Thank you have a nice day!",you said at the server.
You both sat at a table and talked about how your jobs have been doing and other random stuff. He listened to you all the way and looked at you with loving eyes.
"How did I get so lucky to have someone so beautiful has her.", he thought.
"You know? It kinda reminds me of our days in U.A."
"How so?"
"When you brought me to some places and always payed for me with your dad's credit card.", he laughed a bit.
"Yeah you're right.", he cupped you cheek and you melted into the touch.
"It was a while ago"
You both finished eating and decided to go to the beach. It was a beautiful day and what is better than taking some sun on the side of a beach? Almost nothing. So, you both went home and packed your stuff to go to the beach.
You arrived and installed your chairs(you know like this thing):
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Link of the image
You had putted your suimsuits under your clothes so you removed your shirt and pants just to be in your suimsuit. Shoto looked at you and blushed a bit at sight.
"So beautiful", he thought
He also removed his shirt to leave himself in only his swimming tracks and it was your turn to blush(I mean have you seen his freaking abs?! >///<) You sat on your chairs and relaxed for a while. He was holding your hand while you were both sleeping. You both had a stressfull week and taking time for the both of you was just perfect. Of course, due to the fact you were both pre heroes(him on third place and you on fifth place), got greeted by fans when you were awake(We love respecting fans >:3). After that, you went in the water and you then splashed water at him.
"Oh you're in for it Love."
He throwed back water at you and you both started a water war. You were both smiling and laughing and you suddlenly gave Shoto a loving look. He stopped splashing water and looked at you.
"What are you doing Love looking at me like that?", he smirked a bit.
"I'm glad to see you so happy and laughing. It warms my heart.", you smiled at him and he got closer to you.
"It's all because of you My Love. You helped me get over my past and you made me the happiest man on earth. I still thank Midoriya for making me know more about you on that the day we had a real conversation for the first time. What did I do to deserve a so beautiful princess like you in my life?",he cupped your cheek.
"And what did I do to deserve a handsome Icy-Hot prince in my life?"
He brought you behind a big rock where no one could see you both and started kissing you. He putted his hand on your hip.
"Is it okay if I put my hand on your hip?", even after years of marriage he wants to make sure you feel comfortable and doesn't want to disrespect your boundries.
"It's totally okay Sho.", you smiled sweetly at him and after he went back to kissing you.
When it was time to go back home you packed back your stuff and went back to your house. You asked him if he could dress up in his suit and he told you that he would be glad to (have you seen Shoto in a suit?! It's beautiful TwT(ok I'm gonna stop now haha)).
You putted your beautiful dress that you had bought recently. It was your favorite color and was looking like this:
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Link of the image(You can always imagine something else this is just an idea :D )
He was waiting for you because you took a bit more time to get ready. When you got out of the bathroom, his eyes widened and he was looking at you in awe. You were like the most beautiful angel he ever saw and he thinks he's blessed to have you in his life.
"My Love...Wow..."
"Thank you", you blushed a bit at his reaction.
"Are you ready for your surprise?"
"Of course My Love."
You both went in the car and you drived to the place. He was curious of where you were taking him. When you arrived, you told him to close his eyes and that you were going to guide him. He felt that he was sitting down and you told him to open his eyes. He opened them and saw the fancy place you brought him to. Your were in a fancy restaurant and you were just the two of you alone in a room with a table and candles.
"You're the one who always brings me to fancy restaurants like this, so I decided to surprise you by doing an uno reverse card. I'm sorry if it's not very original".
"It's perfect My Love", he kisses your cheek.
"Welcome to our place tonight. I'll be your server today. Would you like to have something to drink?"
"We'll take two glasses of your choice of champagne please",you ask.
"Of course. Here are the menus I'll be back".
You both look at the menu and choose your meals. The server comes back with two champagne glasses and a bottle of champagne. You tell them your orders and they go do their stuff. While you wait, you just enjoy each others presence and live a wonderful moment.
"To our marriage!",you said while bringing your glass in the air.
"To our mariage!",he says looking at you with his eyes full of love.
The server brought you both your meals and you enjoyed it fully. After dinner, he hears a song playing. He reconizes the song,it's your wedding song.
"What did you plan Love?",he smiles at you.
He stands up and bows to you.
"Will you give me this dance My Lady?(Cat Noir vibes)",he asks you.
"With pleasure", you take his hand to stand up to go dance.
He puts one of his hand on your hips and the other holds one of your hand, while your other hand is on his shoulder. You both dance in each others arms and it's like you both are stuck in your own little world. It was one of the most beautiful night you spent together and it's a day you will never forget.
The next day:
The next morning, you wake up before Shoto because of a weird feeling. You look at him to admire his beautiful sleepy face, but you then start to feel sick. You get out of the bed the fastest possible and run to the bathroom. You start to throw up and cough in the toilet. Shoto hears the noises, gets up to go to in front of the bathroom and knocks on the door.
"Baby? Are you okay in there?"
"I'm just throwing up it's fine. It will pass."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. You have to go to work and I don't want to put you late. I'll call sick and go to the doctor if it can reassure you okay?"
"Okay. I love you."
"Love you too."
A.N: I will end it here for now! I'll make a part 2 as soon as possible, but I think you get where this is going to ;)
I think you also saw that Shoto called you beautiful many times and that's because I want all of you to feel loved and beautiful. I live with insecurities, but I try each day to get over them and I know it's hard. Remember that you are loved and cared for!
Until part 2 or my next post, have a nice day or night! <3
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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years ago
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The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 17
Hannibal teaches y/n a useful skill.
@dovahdokren @lov3vivian @deadman-inc-bikeshop
Trigger warnings: use of firearms, discussion of firearms, violence
“So where are we off to next?” You asked, following Will around the office. “Are we questioning this Rachel woman, or are we going straight to the church?” 
Will sighed. “Jack and I are going to the church. I’m calling Hannibal to come pick you up.”
“What?” You spat in utter disbelief. “What the hell happened to taking him down together?” 
“You’ve already been more help than we could ask for.” Will explained. “This is the end of the line for you. We--”
He cleared his throat and looked down. “I can’t bear to see you get hurt.” 
“That’s sweet and everything, but,” You folded your arms. “You really think someone is going to hurt me in broad daylight in a megachurch?” 
“Well, somebody stabbed you in broad daylight in a restaurant, and that person just happened to come from this megachurch.” Will rationalized. “So, yes. I wouldn’t say it’s out of the question.” 
“So that’s it, you’re just going to pass me off to Hannibal?” You threw up your arms. “Look, I had enough of this growing up with divorced parents.” 
“Angel,” Will soothed, running a gentle hand down your arm. “Please. I’m begging you, think on this for just a minute and try to see why I don’t want you on this particular excursion?” 
You thought on it for a minute. “Churches do kind of trigger me.”
“I saw how tense you got when that woman said she’d kicked her daughter out of the house for dating a girl. I understand, dealing with people who remind you of Chase is going to trigger you.” Will whispered. “Have you even taken any time to work on healing?” 
“I could say the same to you.” You disputed. “You killed a woman and then came face-to-face with her mother. Why aren’t you trying to work through that?” 
“That’s different.” He blurted out. “That’s my job.” 
“Sure.” You snipped. “I have to take time to work through my PTSD, but you don’t. Got it.” 
“If you go home with Hannibal now, I promise I will...” He hesitated to finish the sentence. “I’ll work on my issues too. Cross my heart.” 
“Oh, I will absolutely hold you to that.” You pointed at him. “And I’m telling Hannibal you said that.” 
Will immediately regretted making that promise and it was obvious from his expression. “Please don’t.” 
“I am absolutely going to do that.” You said, in a way in which he couldn’t tell if you were kidding or not. 
Hannibal opened the passenger’s door for you and greeted you with a kiss. He could tell you were feeling off after only a few seconds. 
“Why so sad, my indulgence?” He asked, pulling out of the parking lot. “Don’t tell me you enjoy Will’s company more than mine?” 
“What? No.” You shook your head. “No way.” 
“You can tell me what’s on your mind, love.” He assured you. 
You sighed and rested your head on the window. “Will doesn’t want me to help on the investigation anymore.” 
“I don’t see why he should.” Hannibal agreed. “You’re tracking down the man who tried to kill you, and he’s tracking down the man who tried to kill his lover. Both of you are far too close to the situation and your mental health will suffer for it. But, in the end, it’s Will’s job.” 
“I know.” You conceded. 
“That, and,” Hannibal continued. “Will is a trained professional under the supervision of other trained professionals. He’s far less likely to get hurt.” 
“I get it.” You groaned and rolled your eyes. “At the end of the day, he’s the action hero and I’m the damsel in distress.” 
“Darling,” Hannibal scolded. “You know our situation isn’t so black-and-white. You know the investigation couldn’t have worked without you.” 
“I know.” You pouted. “I just wanted the final blow, y’know? I think I deserve to finish the job.” 
Hannibal went quiet for a moment. When you came to a stoplight, he turned his gaze to you. “You want to be more proactive in your safety.” 
“Would be nice.” You shrugged. 
“I wasn’t asking.” Hannibal corrected. “You do want to be more proactive. It’s why you have a firearms license in your wallet and a handgun in your car. It’s also why you were looking up hunting equipment last night while you were on the phone with Freddie Lounds.” 
You swallowed. Every word in the English language escaped you. He was right. You never saw the appeal of guns until you lived alone. Even though a "gun owner" was technically what you were, you didn't want to associate yourself with the jingoistic, hyper-masculine culture affixed to the term. You were just a woman who kept a gun in her car and had all the proper licensing and registration for it. Nothing wrong with that. So why did it have you feeling so defensive? 
You lowered your head. “I’m sorry.” 
“For?” 
“Lying about Freddie Lounds.” You finished. “I don’t know why I felt the need to lie about that, in hindsight-” 
“I understand.” Hannibal cut you off. “You were just doing what you felt needed to be done. Will would have done the same.” 
He was right again. 
“Ambitious of you to select a shotgun as your weapon of choice.” Hannibal observed. “At the risk of sounding like a chauvinist, I have to ask. Do you know how to use one?” 
“No.” You admitted. “It was just a power fantasy, I guess. All I know is that you can blast a guy’s head off with one.” 
Without a word, Hannibal took an abrupt turn. 
“Isn’t your place that way?” You asked, pointing in the opposite direction. 
“Do you have your license on you now?” He asked. 
“Of course I do, why?”
“Because we’re going to make your power fantasy a reality.” He answered.
Soon enough, you pulled up to a large hunting store with a shooting range attached. 
“Go in and pick out something you like.” Hannibal instructed, reaching for his wallet. “I’ll be waiting for you at the range and I can teach you how to use it.” 
He offered you one of his shiny metal credit cards. When you didn’t immediately take it, he pushed it closer to you. 
“I just got a thousand dollars from Freddie Lounds.” You pushed his hand away. “I can pay for it.” 
“You deserve something much nicer than only a thousand dollars can buy you.” Hannibal’s voice hardened. 
“So then I’ll buy something more than a thousand dollars and use your credit card to make up the difference.” You offered. 
“No.” Hannibal said, sternly. “I will buy you a nice gun and plenty of ammo, and you will save your thousand dollars for when you open your own restaurant.” 
“How did you-” You objected. 
He cut you off. “Will isn’t very good at keeping secrets, dear. Take it.” 
You laughed uncomfortably. “Hannibal, if you don’t put that credit card away I will bite your finger off.” 
His thin lips curled into a cunning smile. He offered you his other hand. “Bite away, darling.”  
You wordlessly snatched the card from his hand. 
“Oh, pity.” Hannibal feigned disappointment. “Did I call your bluff?” 
You tucked the card away in your pocket. You leaned in as if you were going to give him a kiss on the cheek, but playfully nipped at his earlobe. 
"Remind me to give you a little special attention when the lesson is up." He whispered, his hand clutching your arm.
You made sure to walk away slowly, rolling your hips with every step.
You entered the store, feeling overwhelmed and significantly less confident than you did while shopping for guns online.
An employee approached you. You mentally prepared yourself for whatever sexist comment he was about to hurl at you. But somebody must have taught this particular associate that being a misogynist prick doesn't sell guns.
"Anything I can help you find, ma'am?"
Your mouth ran before your brain. "I'd like to buy a gun, please."
"Well, you've come to the right place." The employee smiled. "What kind of gun are you looking for?"
"A shotgun." You corrected.
"Well, we have plenty of makes and models to choose from." He clapped his hands together and led you to a wall lined with shotguns. "Any specifics in mind?"
"I guess I just want something simple enough to use." You scratched the back of your head. "My boyfriend is taking me skeet shooting this weekend so I don't have time to learn all the complicated mechanics."
"So skeet?" The man put his hands down on the counter and looked deep in thought. He turned around and pulled one off the shelf. "I'd recommend this CZ over-under. It's a good place to start."
He offered it to you. Your eyes widened and your first instinct was to refuse.
He looked at you with confusion. "How are you gonna shoot anything if you don't hold it?"
You shook off your nerves and took the gun in your hands. It was a little heavy, and tilted near the stock. You looked at it as if it were a beautiful but deadly venomous tropical snake.
"Over-under's are the working man's shotgun." The employee said. "Or, woman, as it were."
You held it up to your shoulder like you saw in movies and felt a strange rush of exhilaration pulsing through your body.
"It's nice, right?" He asked. "And you can get to the trigger okay?"
"I'll take it." You said. "And some bullets, please."
"Now we're cooking with gas." He answered, a big smile on his face. "Let's get you rung up."
The fact that he didn't even stop to notice that the name on your license didn't match the name on the credit card only emphasized your country's need for stricter gun control laws. Even if the lack of such laws benefitted you in that moment, the ease of the process killed you a little.
The total came up to just under a thousand dollars. You couldn't bring yourself to spend more than you planned to, even if it was Hannibal's treat. You already felt weird about using Hannibal's money, let alone so much of it.
The employee saw you out with a friendly "happy skeeting" and you set off to meet Hannibal at the range.
"There you are, love." He greeted you. He had removed his suit coat and tie, and rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt up to his elbows.
For a split second, you completely forgot about the gun and were overtaken by the need to fuck him. You quickly regained control of yourself. "Yeah. I found something."
"I should hope so." He said, beckoning to you from the stall. "Come now. Let me show you what to do."
You stood in front of the booth, ears and eyes protected. At the end of the long booth was a paper target. Hannibal positioned himself behind you. He took your hand in his and guided it to the stock wrist.
"Wrap your fingers around here, like this." He instructed, his dark, accented voice shaking you to your core. "Now extend your finger to reach the trigger. Yes, that's it."
"Now place your other hand on the fore-end and hold the end of the stock against your shoulder."
The way he shaped your body, positioned your limbs felt almost alarmingly natural. He wasn't just indulging your power fantasy, he was directing it.
"Cheek against the stock, love." He instructed. "The gun is an extention of you. You must hold it firmly and give it support. You move with it, it moves with you."
He rummaged through the shopping bag and pulled out a package of shells. "Are you ready to shoot it, darling?"
"I think I should probably load it first." You said, nervously.
"Well that should take us no time at all." Hannibal approached with two 12 gauge shotshells. "Go ahead and engage the break lever right at the edge of the barrel."
When the gun suddenly bent in half, your first thought was that you'd broken it. Hannibal handed you the two shells and watched you timidly slide one into each barrel.
You felt yourself shaking and your palms were damp with sweat. You swallowed. "I don't know if I can do this."
"Were you afraid the first time you drove a car?" Hannibal raised an eyebrow.
"Cripplingly." You nodded. "I was so scared I didn't take my foot off the brake the whole time."
"But now driving comes just as naturally to you as walking." Hannibal smiled comfortingly. He placed his hands over yours and returned you to the shooting position. On one side, the cold stock rested against your cheekbone. On the other, Hannibal's hot breath grazed against your skin. "It just takes some getting used to."
Your finger squeezed the trigger and the massive projectile exploded from the gun. The stock pushed back into your shoulder, making you stumble backwards into Hannibal.
"Holy shit!" You exclaimed. "That's got some serious recoil. Is it supposed to do that?"
Hannibal chuckled and took a step back, giving you a little space. "Yes, darling. Now go ahead and fire off the next shot."
Your eyes widened. "Okay."
"Remember, you move with the gun, you don't fight the gun." He instructed. "It's more afraid of you than you are of it."
You squeezed the trigger again, this time fully expecting the recoil. The shot fired, and this time it hit the target.
You hopped in delight. "Holy shit I actually got one!"
"All it takes is a little getting used to." Hannibal stroked your hair. "Now unload the shotgun shells and let's go again."
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afriendlyblackhottie · 4 years ago
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Ferris
Summary: You and Chris fight hard, but at least making up is always fun.
Pairings: Chris Evans x Black!Reader
Warnings: Smut, daddy skink, swearing, sex in public
(A/N: Okay so yes. I watched Insecure and decided having sex on a ferris wheel sounded kind of hot. Sue me. Also a little bit of a toxic relationship because I also love Euphoria.)
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The original plan for today was simple. Hang out with your girls, have fun at this music festival, and then go to a diner afterward because you knew you’d be drunk and starving by the end of the night. Except like usual you were thinking about Chris and the stupid fight the two of you were having. It was like you couldn’t really have fun.
He’d gotten mad when he saw the outfit you’d picked for the occasion. The butterfly covered bralette and matching skirt was kind of revealing, but that was the point. He didn’t want “other men to see what was his,” or some shit like that. God, he could be so possessive. 
Of course, you wore it. You’d already bought it specifically for the occasion. With his credit card, you might add. You weren’t going to change in one minute just because he told you to. Except for your friend Amanda had already tagged you in a picture which he’d clearly seen since he’d been texting you almost non-stop all pissed off that you’d disobeyed him. 
Sometimes he irritated you so much. Like, yeah you wouldn’t trade him for the world, but did he have to be such an ass about it. Then it was conflicting because apart of you kind of liked it. Your big mean Daddy putting you in your place. Maybe that’s why he treated you like that. He knew that deep down you had a thing for it. Except right now all you wanted to do was sulk as you argued with him back and forth through your messages.
Yet despite this, you still felt so needy for him. Like all you wanted was for him to hold you. Maybe give you kisses and tell you that you looked good. It was so annoying how desperate you felt for him. Aside from all the fighting, he was a really good boyfriend. He was perfectly affectionate, amazing in bed, wanted to actually have a future with you, and made sure you had everything you’ve ever wanted. He took care of you well.
There were times when the negative thoughts reared their ugly heads. Like your friends. It seemed they only saw bad. Like how he was gone a lot, but like it’s for work and you got to travel with him all the time which was fun. Or the fighting. Which okay, fair enough. 
Sometimes it kind of just seemed like they were jealous. Like how’d you manage to snag Captain America of all people. Or why you put up with the things you did. Maybe when they find a boyfriend with a big dick and a bank account to match they’d understand. 
Until then your friends' opinions didn’t really mean anything to you. It’s not like you ever asked them for it anyway. They weren’t complaining when he’d pay for the spa trips or even the VIP passes to this thing, though. They loved him then.
You took a sip of the beer Shannon had just handed you. This is going to sound so dumb, but like, the taste of it was making you think of him. It reminded you of those times he’d come home from work and you’d have dinner waiting like the good little girlfriend you are. After you’d curl up on the couch. He’d pretty much down his beer as you unwinded, pressed into his side. 
Then at some point, he’d kiss you. It would start out all sweet and nice. He’d end up saying something funny and you’d giggle. He always said he loved your laugh. Then he’d pull you onto his lap, making you straddle him. 
Your kiss would turn deeper. Hungry. Like if you didn’t kiss him right now, you might float away. Your tongues would caress while you had your arms wrapped around his neck. You’d feel his bulge grow pressing against your usually covered pussy. 
That’s when you’d started grinding your hips because even the friction from his thickness was enough to get you close. He’d usually start out with his hands on your tits because even though he claimed to be an ass guy he always told you how much he loved your boobs. Then he’d pull you away to pull off your top bringing you back into him by putting his hand around your neck. Since you’d rather die than wear a bra at home, your naked body would be pressed against him even though he was still clothed. 
As his lips would begin to trail down your body, his hands would rest against your ass. Squeezing it, smacking it, helping you grind into him. Then he’d do this thing where he lifted you up to lay you down. His lips still on yours as he moved kept moving against you.
Then you’d finally get naked and he’d fuck you right there not even bothering to go to the room. His dick hitting every spot all at once because of how damn thick he was. He was the first man to fuck you right. Maybe that’s why you were so crazy about him.
In those moments afterward, you’d have to stop yourself. You could taste the soft ‘I love you’ that you wanted to say so badly on your tongue. It didn’t feel right saying it without knowing if he’d say it back to you. You weren’t sure if he would.
You swayed back and forth to the music, singing along. Amanda was twerking while Shannon and Kim were pretty similar to how you were. If you weren’t one second away from showing everyone your panties with how tiny your skirt was you’d probably be right next to her. 
Night had fallen and everything looked beautiful. The way the desert looked with the stage lit. The way they’d light up the ferris wheel. It was all so amazing. Yet your mind kept drifting. He hadn’t texted you back in a few hours which was weird for him when the two of you were fighting. 
You’d walked away from the group to throw away the beer bottle you didn’t feel like holding. Before you could turn around, you felt a hand on your waist and groaned because why the fuck do guys do that. Until you looked up seeing the blue eyes of your handsome boyfriend. 
Your breath hitched in your throat. Like it usually does because he was so fucking beautiful it wasn’t like you could help it. “Ch- Chris? What are you doing here?” For some reason, it felt like you’d gotten caught red-headed.
He shrugged. His hair was covered by the blue cap he was wearing, but it was so unmistakably him that you were surprised you weren’t being rushed by fangirls. “I missed you,” he replied.
You tilted your head to the side feeling all melty now from the simple phrase. “I missed you, too.” 
He pulled you into a hug, nuzzling his face in your hair. “Can we talk? Somewhere private.” 
You chuckled. “I don’t think we can really be anywhere private right now.” You glanced over at your friends who were rolling their eyes and such at the sight of him. Except for Shannon that is. She was really the only one on Team Chris. 
“The ferris wheel,” he suggested, looking up at the giant contraption. 
You scrunched up your nose. Just because you thought it was pretty didn’t mean you actually liked them. And, he knew that because every time you went to Disneyland you’d skip over it. “I don’t do ferris wheels.”
“I know, but just this once,” he said. “Just so we can talk.”
It was hard saying no to that face so you found yourself nodding. “Okay. Let me tell them I’ll be right back.”
Being Chris Evans he got to skip to the front of the line. The carriage was one of those enclosed ones. Similar to California Adventure’s, but of course not as big. Poor Chris looked squished on his side. At least it didn’t swing. 
You looked out the window. You were barely off the ground. Neither of you said anything. It was a little quieter here, but not much by much. A part of you wanted to go over there and take a seat on his lap as you went further.
“So,” he started, finally breaking the silence after you were a quarter of the way off the ground. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry... you know for all the fighting.”
You weren’t really expecting that. Your eyes met his and you wanted to swoon, but you needed to keep your composure. “Why are we like this?” You asked. 
“I don’t want it to be,” he said. “I know this is going to sound fucking crazy, but I drove all the way here because at some point I realized that you’re more important than losing you over me not liking your outfit, which you look really cute by the way.”
You smiled. “You really think so?”
“You always do. You’re gorgeous, Honey. I’m so fucking sorry if I... if I make you feel like I don’t care because I do.” He took a deep breath. “I guess what I’m trying to say to you is that I love you, Y/N.”
“Really?” Your heart felt like it was going to explode. 
“I have since we met I think.”
“I love you, too,” you said. Leaning forward so you could kiss him. The inside of the carriage was dark so no one could really see into it, but then again people were probably watching it like a hawk just trying to catch a glimpse. He’d grabbed onto your hips like he did when the two of you were on the couch making it, making you straddle his lap. It honestly felt like you might as well be at home with how damn comfy he is. 
“I’m sorry, Baby,” he said. His hands rested on your ass he started kissing your neck. “I don’t ever want to lose you.” 
“You won’t,” you replied. He lifted up your bralette so he could kiss down your chest, taking a nipple into his mouth swirling his tongue around. You moaned feeling his dick hardening underneath you.
You reached between both of you to palm him in his jeans. He groaned as you rubbed him. You need to be quick because your carriage was moving again and clearly it couldn’t just end in a makeout session. Not with the way he was kissing you and you couldn’t leave your poor boyfriend all hard with blue balls. 
You unzipped his pants and smiled when his dick popped out. “Oh, Daddy,” you cooed. 
“That’s my girl,” he whispered in your ear. “Always ready for me, huh?”
“Always,” you repeated before kissing him again.
He pulled your panties to the side as he lifted your hips up to inch you down his length. He felt so fucking good inside of you. “That’s it, Honey. Ride me.”
“Yes,” you mewled. He filled you up so perfectly. You were so fucking full. It never made any sense just how good it always felt. As you bounced up and down his length you could feel your slick dripping out to cover him.
His balls were slapping against your ass every time you went down and for some reason, it felt so damn good. You bit your lip trying to keep yourself from crying out again. Even though you were sure no one could hear you, you still didn’t want to get too loud.
He’d grabbed your hips. Making you tilt back so he could leave hot open-mouthed kisses trailing from your neck to your collarbone to your breasts. You threw your head back trying to keep your noises in your throat. You were holding yourself up with your hands on his knees.
“That’s it, Baby. I know you wanna cum for me.” He grabbed you, bringing your forehead to his. One of his hands squeezed your neck with just enough pressure. 
Your pussy was clenching around him your insides fluttering as you felt yourself getting there. “Fuck, Daddy, I’m gonna cum,” you whined. Your orgasm was so close you could fucking taste it.
“That’s it. That’s my good girl,” he whispered in your ear. “Cum for me.”
You pressed your face into his t-shirt as you reached your breaking point. You moved your hips harder trying to ride out your orgasm. The way you were moving triggered him to start spilling inside of you. “Fuck,” he cursed, his grip going to your ass again so hard you kind of knew you were going to bruise.
“Yes, Daddy. Yes.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you started to come down from your high. 
You laid your head on his chest as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head. Your body was shaking and you wanted to calm down by the time you had to get out of the carriage. You looked out the window again. That whole time at the top had been spent fucking and it was almost time for you to compose yourself.
“We probably aren’t the first ones to do this today, huh,” he wondered out loud.
You chuckled, putting your chin on his chest and looking up at him. “Probably not.”
He rubbed your ass sweetly not even realizing before how tender your body was now. He sat back with his eyes closed. “Is it bad that I could sleep like this?”
“No. I think I could, too,” you replied, feeling your eyes all droopy.
You finally got up before the ferris wheel reached the ground to make yourselves presentable. You sat back in his lap melting into him until it was at a complete stop. 
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.”
He smiled all sweet before placing a kiss on your lips. You guys were always fighting and making up and as much as you’d say it was water under the bridge, this was the first time it really felt like it. You couldn’t wait to see how things would be from now on. He was your person.
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inliar · 4 years ago
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jinhwan x reader
you have the uncanny knack of running into kim jinhwan exactly when he needs it. he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued.
a/n: support ikon on kingdom!
-
the first time you meet him, it’s at your friend’s debut stage. once upon a time, you and your friend, yerin, had been trainees together in a decently small company. but while her skills only grew over time, morphing into something fascinating and breathtaking that deserved to be shown to the world, yours had stagnated. it wasn’t for lack of effort – you had put just as many hours into dance and vocal lessons as the others –  but it was, probably, for lack of passion.
at some point, you had stopped emphasizing with your fellow trainee’s heartfelt speeches on their dreams of debuting, and it was around then that you realized you weren’t meant to be an idol in the same way they were. it was alright, though, because if anyone out of the two of you deserved to debut, it was her. you’d never felt any regret after terminating your short trainee agreement with your label.
but your friendship had never ceased, and you’d kept in regular contact with yerin, as well as the other trainees set to debut in the rookie group. you often took to reminding them to eat their meals, or to take breaks in between lessons, because you’d experienced first-hand how thoroughly unchecked passions can blind a person to their obvious needs. 
finally, their efforts had culminated into a debut, and you wouldn’t miss their first stage for the world. their manager, minseo (who, in a different timeline, might have been your manager as well) was kind enough to let you visit them face-to-face in their waiting room for the music program.
“nervous?” you ask, taking in yerin’s brightly-coloured romper and her bleached, curled, strands of hair. it’s such a far departure from the tracksuits and messy ponytail you’d often seen her sporting during early morning dance practices, but it somehow suits her better than anything else you’d ever seen her wear.
“excited.” she responds instead, with a frightening degree of certainty. it must be nice, you think, to have something you want so desperately and unfalteringly. but watching your best friend get to live out her dreams is almost just as nice.
you nod, feeling the corners of your lips quirk up. “have i ever told you how proud i am of you?” you say, lightheartedly, suppressing the urge to ruffle your hand over her well-styled hair.
“no, but since it’s coming from you, i know you mean it.” she says with such sincerity that you feel an unexpected surge of pride lodge itself into your chest. 
you clear your throat. this won’t do. she hasn’t even performed yet and you’re already turning into a sentimental mess. “i’m going to go get myself something to drink,” you say, excusing yourself. “do you want anything?”
her eyes brighten. “ooh, can i have an orange soda?” she asks, before pausing and turning around. “wait, manager-nim, am i allowed to drink soda before a stage?”
minseo tears her eyes away from her phone and straightens up. “as long as it’s not something that will rapidly stain your teeth, it should be fine. are you thirsty? do you need me to get you something?”
you pipe up. “oh, it’s fine, i can get it. you should stay with the group, unni, you’re the manager.” then, you raise your voice and direct it towards the rest of the girls. “hey, guys, i’m getting yerin a drink from the vending machine. does anyone else want anything?”
“oh, can i have a canned coffee?” you hear one of the members – jiyoung’s – voice ask.
“me too!” hyemin’s voice adds.
“vitamin water, please!” mirae’s voice calls.
you tally the drinks up in your head. two canned coffees, an orange soda, and vitamin water. you hold up an ‘okay’ sign with your hand and nod. jiyoung jokingly salutes in return.
“can i pay you back?” minseo offers, pulling out a credit card that most definitely won’t work on the rickety vending machines you’d seen on your way to the waiting room.
you shake your head dismissively. “it’s just a couple of drinks, and besides, i have a ton of coins i need to get rid of. you can buy me a meal later, yeah?” you offer, and minseo nods. “at this rate, i’ll have to hire you as my assistant.” she jokes, lightheartedly, and you smile. you wouldn’t mind that at all.
you recite the list of drinks to yourself as you make it out of their waiting room and towards the vending machine. two canned coffees, an orange soda, and vitamin water. two canned coffees, an orange soda, and vitamin water. two ca—
thud.
the small sound shakes you out of your mantra and, instinctively, you turn towards the noise. judging by the obvious frustration radiating from the person in front of you and his relative position to the vending machine, you figure he just kicked the poor thing.
“are you alright?” you ask, tentatively, and the person in question turns to face you. 
oh. it’s kim jinhwan. from ikon.
you try your hardest to suppress a smile. yerin loves ikon. she’d be so jealous to know that you ran into one of the members today, and in such an innocuous way at that.
“yes, sorry.” jinhwan offers, looking almost sheepish. “the machine stole my money, and-”
almost on cue, you hear a voice call out in the distance. “hurry up, hyung! you said it’d only take a few minutes!”
jinhwan’s expression instantly sours, and you nod in understanding. “what did you try to get, sunbaenim?” you ask politely, turning towards the machine and scanning its contents.
“just an energy drink. but i guess i’ll be fine without it.” he explains, trying a little too hard to sound lighthearted and unbothered. 
you identify the drink in question and punch in its code. after feeding your coins into the machine, you watch as the suddenly functional appliance pushes the energy drink out of its row and into the bottom of the machine.
squatting, you grab the drink and hold it out. “please, take this.” you offer as you stand up, suddenly noticing how heavily the foundation under his eyes is applied. you inwardly frown. he must really need the boost. “it’s the one you wanted, right?”
he doesn’t take it, instead opting to stare at it instead. “i couldn’t, i don’t have any more change on me right now.” he says, despite eyeing the drink longingly.
“hyung! we have to go!” the voice from before calls out again, insistently. he turns towards the voice before turning back to you, conflicted. you put on what you hope is a reassuring smile before pushing the drink with a little more force into his hands. instinctively, he takes it.
“please don’t worry about it, it’s just a drink. good luck with your stage, sunbaenim!” you cheer, gently. 
he looks at the drink, then looks at you, then glances behind him at what you presume to be his waiting room before looking at you again.
“jinhwan hyung!” the voice demands with an intimidating undercurrent of finality, leaving no more room to stall. you tilt your head towards it meaningfully.
“i.. thank you.” he finally says, tightly, before turning around and running away. satisfied, you turn towards the vending machine. what did your friends ask for? right, two canned coffees, an orange soda, and vitamin water. you punch the drink codes in, methodically inserting all of your loose change you had been trying to get rid of for so long, and add an extra coffee in for minseo for good measure. if she’s going to make good on her dinner promise, and you know she will, she should get a little something in return.
(you would have gotten her something even if you didn't coerce her into buying you food. a part of you thrives at the feeling of taking care of others, and you dimly wonder if that means anything.)
-
the next time you meet him is yet another case of being in the right place at the right time, for lack of a better phrase. 
you’d spent a good portion of your school days active as a trainee. so, when you’d eventually exited the entertainment industry, you were strikingly behind all the other students your age in the cruelly competitive system that was korea’s education system. you were planning on taking a gap year to figure out exactly what you wanted to do with the rest of your life (which was generally frowned upon, as students were expected to naturally know these things), but minseo had saved you from that fate. “since the girls have been getting a little bigger recently, i’ve been given the permission and the budget to hire an assistant manager.” she had explained through a spontaneous phone call, her voice crackling over the receiver as you shifted your cellphone to your other ear. “if i can trust anyone to care for them the way that i do, it’s you.”
“will it be okay?” you had asked, not against the proposition but not wanting to get her in trouble. “i have no managerial experience, and i’m in the same age range as the members. i don’t want the company to come off as unprofessional.”
she had reassured you that you wouldn’t be working on anything that she wouldn’t teach you to do first, and that, as long as you didn’t boast about your age, it would be fine. “i was allowed to write the hiring criteria, and if you just happen to be the perfect candidate, then so be it.” she had said, and you could almost imagine the conspiratorial wink she would have shot in your direction if you were talking face to face.
and so your reentrance to the entertainment industry had begun; except this time, you were on the other, more secluded, side of the stage. you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t considered being a manager before; you’ve always been the type to take care of others, and when minseo had joked about taking you on as an assistant before, a secret part of you had taken it a little too close to heart. but you had never actually expected her words to become a reality.
the job isn’t too hard to pick up. you’re assigned a lot of small yet useful tasks, like calling the salons and confirming hair appointment times, or writing the minutes for meetings about comeback concepts. sometimes, your only role for the day is simply coaxing minseo unni into stopping and taking a lunch break. you’re busy, for sure, but not yet at the juggling-octopus level of the senior manager, who is somehow able to coordinate every other task and responsibility that involves the group simultaneously and all without fail. while you just have to confirm the things she’s already set up, she has to do all the preparation work.  you’ve seen her meticulously arrange and assign each member’s schedules, all the while keeping an eye on album sales and concert venues and security payroll and feedback from their vocal or dance instructors. just by looking at her essay of a to-do list that’s propped up on her desk, you understand why the company gave her the permission to hire an assistant.
the most important responsibility she had given you, however, was to be the first line of contact with the members of the group. “you know them better than i do, so i think you’d do a better job of helping them out. they’re not too fussy, so it shouldn’t be too hard to work with them? just keep an eye on the members, and check on them every now and then. of course, let me know if you need any extra help.” a very harried minseo had told you, while on hold with the videography company who, annoyingly, hadn’t confirmed what time they were coming in tomorrow to film the dance video for the group’s upcoming comeback.
“yes, of course.” you had replied, fully intending to not do just that. you were going to avoid adding any responsibilities to minseo unni’s workload at all costs.
there wasn’t much that you needed to do. occasionally, you needed to get the members drinks or snacks while they were in their waiting rooms before music show performances, or make sure that they checked in with you before they went out anywhere. to help with this, you had gotten into the habit of carrying a backpack with you at all times, fully stocked with the necessities: an assortment of the member’s favourite snacks, an epipen for hyemin’s peanut allergy tucked in a small first aid kit, extra hair elastics, pads and tampons, and various sets of phone chargers. 
“you’re already, like, one of those overprepared asian mothers that carries everything in her massive purse, and you’re barely an adult.” yerin had snickered one day while you reorganized your bag in their dorm.
you had grinned, teasingly pushing her away. “it’s this overprepared asian mother that has your precious pocky at hand, so watch it.” you’d warned, shaking the snack box in the air. 
“don’t shake it!” yerin had yelped, cradling the cookie sticks protectively against her chest. “you’ll break them.”
it was the last week of promotions for the group’s third mini album, and you had just finished supervising the stage hands as they finished setting up the stage. satisfied, you grab your backpack from the chair it was lounging on, thank them for their hard work, and beeline for the exit, wondering if you can run into the girls before they get called down for their pre-stage interview.
“—ust going to have to wait, we don’t have any on hand right now.” you hear a gruff sounding voice say, and subconsciously, you look towards the source of the noise.
just across the hallway from you is what appears to be a very tall manager and a very short idol, judging from the casual apparel the taller is wearing and the shiny, glittery jacket the shorter one has on. the one in the glittery jacket is clutching at his shoulder in obvious discomfort. 
“how long do you think it will take?” the shorter asks, letting go of his shoulder and rolling it back, and you’d recognize that voice anywhere. yerin had recently been studying his stage habits by watching his fancams on repeat, and at this point, his voice was engraved in the back of your mind. it’s jinhwan, again. (“i can’t believe you got to meet jinhwan sunbae before i did,” yerin had pouted when you had told her about your previous encounter. “but why did you call him sunbae? he’s not technically your senior anymore.”
“so i used to be a trainee, and old habits die hard. sue me.” you had defended yourself, protectively, before making a mental note to stop doing that.)
“i’m not sure. i’m not supposed to leave the shooting site, and no one else has answered my calls yet. do you think you’ll be able to do the stage without a patch?” the manager asks.
the idol who you now recognize as jinhwan winces, and you take that as your cue to dig through your bag. after finding what you’re looking for, you take a nervous breath and walk towards the pair.
“hello,” you greet tentatively, bowing. the two of them turn to face you, and politely bow back. you don’t miss the way jinhwan’s face grimaces ever so slightly as he does so.
“i’m really sorry if i’m being invasive, but i happened to hear what was going on.” you start. at that, you offer him the pair of pain-relief patches you were clutching securely with both of your hands. “please, take these.”
the two of them pause, taking a second to read the upside-down text on the packaging. in hindsight, you probably should have held it so the text was facing them. “won’t you need them?” the manager asks, eventually looking back up at you.
you shake your head in denial, eyes wide. “no, no. i always have extras in my bag. besides, the ones my members use most often are the ankle patches, so i won’t miss these.” you explain, taking a short, meaningful glance at jinhwan’s shoulder before pushing the packages into his manager’s hands. 
he takes them. “thank you,” he says, gratefully, and you smile. 
“yes, of course.” you reply, taking another quick glance at jinhwan. he’s staring at you, expression carefully blank, but, upon making eye contact. he bows his head. “thank you,” he says as well, and you pause. there’s something in his tone that sounds off, but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is. 
you don’t have time to stand there and think about it, though, because your group is going to get called down for their interview any minute now. and while you don’t technically have to be there, minseo said that it would be a good idea for you to monitor them. “just so you can get used to your job,” she had said, and you agreed. it would be entirely selfish to back out on that now, just to stand and meaninglessly analyze a person you had no connections with.
“i … have to go now.” you begin, tentatively, ignoring the pressing feeling in the pit of your stomach thats begging you to stay and figure out what feels so wrong. “good luck on your stage, sunb- i mean! jinhwan-ssi, and i hope your shoulder feels better.”
you bow, reflexively, trying your best not to make a weird face out of embarrassment, and jinhwan bows back. “thank you, again.” he reiterates, and you turn to leave.
it’s only after you’re absolutely sure that you’re out of their line of view before you let yourself cringe. sunbae? you tried to call him sunbae? you really, really, need to get out of that habit. what kind of interaction was that?
‘but is he okay?’ a smaller, more insistent, voice in the back of your head asks, and you frown. you don’t know. 
in between your last memorable encounter and the next one, you see him a few times. your group passes by him in a few music programs, you run into their group at a hair appointment, and a few other miscellaneous encounters as such naturally occur. but you never interact. as a manager, it’s not your job to play buddy-buddy with other idol groups, especially if they’re not even in your company. you’ve always done a very good job of staying out of the spotlight, and, as a manager, most people don’t spare you a glance. jinhwan doesn’t even look in your direction.
you’d be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed.
the third time you meet him is not, for once, at a music program. you’re in hapjeong-dong, meaning to visit a friend who’d recently moved into the area. but she’d last-minute changed her housewarming party time to a dinner party instead of a lunch meetup. by the time you’d got the memo, you were already halfway across seoul on the subway. since you hadn’t eaten anything yet, and you no longer had lunch plans, your first stop is at the first ramen shop you see after you exit the terminal.
“i’m afraid we’re a little full at the moment, ma’am, and the only seats available are at the counter. will that be alright?” the hostess asks, smiling warmly.
“yes, that’s great.” you say, and you let her escort you to the counter and hand you a menu. you prop up your purse and your housewarming gift on the chair next to you before taking it, thanking her.
as you’re flipping through the menu, mentally calculating how much more you’ll be able to spend this month, you hear the tinkling of the bell at the front door signalling another customer. a cursory glance around the relatively full counter area lets you know that there’s only one seat left, and you’re hogging it with your bags. you quickly take them off the only available chair and bend down to set them on the ground below your feet.
“... and here you go, sir, i’ll be back with a menu shortly.” the bubbly hostess says, smiling politely at the customer whose face you haven’t seen yet. you straighten up, taking a quick look at the hostess and the customer before turning back to look at your menu. 
“yes, thank you,” the customer says, and you freeze. you must be hearing things. there is no way that you are eating lunch next to kim jinhwan in a random restaurant.
the customer sits down next to you, and you shoot another quick look at the man who is taking off his mask. who is most definitely kim jinhwan. 
do you … do you say anything? idols deserve to eat in peace, so should you pretend not to recognize him? but won’t sitting in a stony, awkward silence as you eat next to each other be even worse? you contemplate burying yourself in your phone for the entire meal, before realizing that you left it in your purse. and there’s no feasible way that you can grab it without having to scoot back your chair, get off the stool to open your bag, and sit back up on it again. 
unfortunately for you, he looks in your direction as you’re gaping at him, panic-struck. the resulting eye contact is unbearably awkward on your end, but he looks at you as if he’s trying to remember who you are.
“pardon me, but are you the one who … with the pain-relief patch?” he asks, gesturing slightly with his hands as he sits dodwn. it’s vague and awkward, and if he did that to anyone else they’d be very confused, but you know exactly what he means.
you blush a little. there’s nothing else you can say now. “yes, uh, i think that was me.” 
“and … the vending machine?” he ventures.
your eyes widen a little at that. that was so many months ago. he still remembers? “the energy drink, right? that was also me. hello, jinhwan-ssi.” you offer, tentatively, bowing your head slightly. at this point, there’s no use pretending you don’t know his name. he bows his head in return.
“may i ask for your name?” jinhwan asks, tentatively.
“oh, ah, i’m ______.” you respond. “it’s nice to meet you, officially.” 
jinhwan nods in agreement, seemingly taking in all the new information for a few seconds. after a short pause, he continues. “do you also work in the entertainment industry?” he asks, slowly. 
“yes, i’m an assistant manager for kyubie, a new girlgroup at AB entertainment,” you introduce yourself. it still feels a little strange to say that title out loud. assistant manager. you’re an assistant manager.
“ah, i see.” jinhwan says, smiling a little as he processes the information, and you politely smile back. a part of you wants to help him carry this conversation out, but the other, more dominant part of you is just as socially awkward as he looks like he feels and is absolutely incapable of doing such a thing.
“you look quite young for a manager,” he offers, as an odd semblance of a compliment, and you take it in stride.
“i get that a lot! i actually used to be a trainee at AB, but i ended up becoming a manager inst!—ead …” you start, mouth running itself as it struggles to fill the awkward silence, before you register what you just said. 
“i, uh, i wasn’t supposed to say that.” you mutter, loudly enough so its audible but quietly enough to express your regret.
jinhwan, for what it’s worth, only looks placidly amused. “don’t worry, i won’t say a word,” he assures you. he doesn’t ask for any more details or for an elaboration on why it would be a secret. you’re grateful for that.
“thank you,” you say, trying not to let the relief show itself too heavily in your tone. if he notices it, he doesn’t say a word.
“i should be thanking you. for the drink and for the pain-relief patches, before. i don’t think i could have done my stage without either.” he assures you, kindly. “i didn’t get to thank you properly before.”
you shake your head in denial. “no, no, don’t worry about it. i get what it’s like to always be running low on time. and you did say thank you! i didn’t feel underappreciated, or ignored, or anything like that.” you explain, letting out your first real smile since the beginning of the conversation. 
(you miss the way his eyes linger on it for a beat too long.)
“i’m glad that you think that, then,” jinhwan says, faintly, as the hostess comes back with his menu that he barely even scans before ordering. you, too, order, ignoring the meaningful glances she’s throwing at the two of you. that’s a misunderstanding that can be resolved in the unlikely chance it becomes an issue.
“so,” jinhwan starts, “tell me about your group.”
and you’re gone.
conversation flows surprisingly easily once the two of you find your common ground. as a manager and as a friend, you have a lot to tell him about your members and how they act. “one of them, my friend, actually, she’s a really big fan of yours.” you mention, offhandedly. you’ve gone long past the point where you’re trying to filter yourself. 
“is that so?” he asks, calmly, and you grin.
“yeah. she was really jealous when i told her that i met you before,” you laugh, “and she’ll probably be a little bit jealous that i met you again today.”
“what about you?” he asks, and then looks a little bit startled. almost as if he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
“i’m sorry?” you ask, despite knowing perfectly well what he’d meant to say. you do your best to not blush.
jinhwan, having seemingly decided to just go with it, smiles. “are you a fan of mine, too?” he asks, and oh, your cheeks are not supposed to feel this hot.
“i, uh—” you flounder, trying to think of a way to answer this professionally, before a strangely brave crevice of your mind tells you to be honest.
“before? i don’t know. but now? probably.” you admit, which is good enough for jinhwan.
he doesn’t push it (probably because you looked like a tomato just then and he wants to save your blood pressure), and instead steers the conversation back to your life as a manager and his funny anecdotes in the entertainment industry. for someone who is so soft spoken and looked so thoroughly awkward when you first met, he tries incredibly hard to keep the conversation flowing and comfortable. you’re half in awe at his easy going nature.
you eat slowly once you get your food, selfishly wanting the conversation to last longer, but eventually there are no more noodles left in your plate and half of the lunchtime rush has already cleared out. jinhwan excuses himself to pay, asking you to watch his jacket, and you grab your purse and your housewarming gift from the floor while you wait. your phone tells you that it’s been nearly two hours since you entered the restaurant, and you must have suddenly forgotten how to read time, because there’s no possible way you had spent that long talking with jinhwan.
he eventually comes back. he puts his mask on and grabs his jacket from the back of his chair, and you take that as your cue to head to the payment counter. “i’m here to pay for my order,” you say, pulling out your wallet, and the checkout man shakes his head. 
“you’re already paid for,” he explains, and you frown. “pardon me?” you ask, unsure if you heard him right.
“the gentleman who sat next to you has already paid for your meal,” he clarifies, and you stand there for a moment.
“are— are you sure?” you ask, confusedly. the checkout man nods. “here’s the purchase receipt if you want to be sure.”
the sound of the front door bell tinkling draws your attention, and you turn to see jinhwan’s figure leave the shop. “thank you!” you exclaim hurriedly to the counter, mindlessly stuffing the receipt in your left pocket before booking it out of there.
by the time you get to the outside of the shop, jinhwan is a good ten meters away. “jinh—!” you start, and then stop. yelling an idol’s name in public is most definitely not a good idea. 
you’ve never been the most active, but you run after him anyway. thankfully, he’s not making an effort to run away from you, because you wouldn’t be able to catch up with him then. 
eventually, you catch up with him as he’s waiting for a pedestrian walkway to turn green. “jinhwan-ssi!” you call, furtively, and the man in question turns around to face you.
" ______.” he says, curiously. “what are you doing here?”
“you paid for my meal.” you state, and he looks at you like it’s obvious. 
“yes, i did.” he says, frowning a little. the pedestrian walkway turns green. he doesn’t make any effort to move.
“can i pay you back?” you ask, hand instinctively going towards your wallet in your right pocket.
he laughs a little at that. “why would you pay me back? this is my thank you for the favours you did for me.”
“you don’t have to pay me back! i did those things because i could. besides, a vending machine drink and a pain-relief patch costs much less than a meal.” you argue.
“then, consider it like i’m doing this because i can.” he counters, and its very hard to object to your own logic.
“can i at least buy you coffee or something as thanks?” you ask, as the pedestrian walkway turns red once more. 
at this, jinhwan pauses, before he sighs. “i have vocal practice in half an hour, so i can’t right now. but—” he continues, seeing the look of disappointment you already knew was on your face, “did you get the receipt from the checkout guy?”
“the what?” you ask, confused.
his face pales. “oh no, did you not take it?” he asks, suddenly looking scared, and you remember mindlessly snatching the receipt from the checkout man’s hands. you clumsily pat through your pockets a little before pulling a slip of paper out from your left pocket. “no, i have it,” you say, holding it up, “but why?”
jinhwan sighs. “turn it over,” he says, and you do.
in pen, a phone number is scribbled over the back of the receipt. “jinhwan,” it says in neatly printed letters next to it, and you fight back the urge to smile. you probably do a terrible job of it, too.
“text me when you’re free, and we can do coffee sometime, yeah?” jinhwan offers. you can’t see his face well because of his mask, but the tips of his ears are red. it’s stupidly endearing.
“i will,” you promise, because how could you say no to that?
the walkway light turns green once again. jinhwan waves as he crosses the street, and you wave as you stay behind. its only after you’re absolutely, positively sure that he’s out of sight that you let yourself grin, burying your too-hot face into your hands. 
if you just played your cards right, you have a date with kim jinhwan.
-
(you text him the very same day, and make plans for coffee the next week.
you treat him to crepe cakes and lattes, and he pouts, claiming that the crepes were too much and now he just has to take you out to make up for it.
before you can tell him that no, it’s fine, it’s your treat, he has movie tickets for two booked and emailed to your account.
you agree to go, but only if you get to buy the popcorn.)
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after-witch · 4 years ago
Text
Hook Line and Sinker [Yandere Ransom Drysdale x Reader]
Title: Hook Line and Sinker [Yandere Ransom Drysdale x Reader]
Synopsis: You’ve broken up with Ransom Drysdale, and you mean it this time. But the freedom that comes with the breakup leads to a series of unexpected coincidences that leave you wondering: was it worth the price?
Word Count: 8955
notes: yandere, mentions of physical abuse, financial abuse, comfort sweaters
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Nothing lasts forever. Not even relationships--and certainly not love. What might start off as an intense, passionate relationship can (and did, in your case) eventually fizzle; things that you were willing to overlook when you were absolutely besotted would wear down with time, and eventually they became too much to ignore.
That’s what you tell yourself, what you remind yourself, in the moment after you tell him:
“It’s over, Ransom. We’re done. I’m leaving.”
It couldn’t last forever. Not with his inability to stay sober, not with his tendency to cheat on you with meaningless flings that somehow hurt more than any steamy single-minded affair. Not with his flare-ups of controlling tendencies that left you in tears on the bathroom floor as he asked you to please stop dressing like a slut in front of his family, is that too hard to ask?
You’d asked him to change. He swore he would; he never did. You forgave him, more than once, more times than you could count. But enough was enough. Maybe he thought you were too weak to leave him, especially three years into your relationship, when your lives were becoming so integrated, pushing you towards a potential permanent future. It was a future that left you feeling numb and anxious. Stuck in a marriage with someone who wanted to stay with you but treated you horribly, all the same. And that wasn’t even getting into the family dynamics that left your head spinning.
He stares at you now, and his mouth opens just a little bit in what you know is going to be a barrage of questions, insults, maybe even threats spurred on by your words. But instead he closes his mouth and shakes his head, letting out a soft, bitter chuckle.
“Well, damn. This sucks.” You can see the indent of his tongue in his cheek before he clicks and shrugs. “Guess that’s it then. Need help packing your shit or what?”
His response is so blasé that you’re genuinely shocked and, you must admit, a little hurt. He didn’t even ask for a second chance or beg you to stay or argue with you about your terrible timing because our-vacation-to-Hawaii-is-coming-up. So it’s your turn to look surprised, and you shake your head.
“No, I… already took care of it. It’s at a storage locker.” You didn’t have family left, and your close friends had pulled away from you one by one once you stayed with Ransom time and time again--so you’d had to pay movers to help you pack and transport everything to storage over the weekend, while Ransom was away and you were free to make a clean breakup.
He nods, sticks his hand inside his jacket pockets. He’s looking around the room, avoiding direct eye contact in a clear show of his discomfort. It’s weird seeing Ransom like this--the normally self-assured, cocky Ransom, looking for any excuse not to look at you.
“So… see ya around?” His tone is sincere, if still confused. The idea of you leaving must have really never crossed his mind. The look on his face when he finally faces you again appears genuinely puzzled.
He sticks out his hand and it feels almost comical for things to end this way, particularly considering the nights you’d spent imagining some big blow up, some big fight with Ransom screaming and you firing off the many reasons why it had to end no matter what he said.
But it didn’t go the way you expected at all. It was calm. Easy. A clean break-up.
So you shake his hand and grab your purse and the small roller-suitcase and give a half-hearted wave as you walk out the door; the taxi you’d hired to pick you up is waiting, car running, meter going. You would be staying at a hotel for two weeks, which would hopefully be enough time to find a semi-decent apartment; your credit score had improved so much since Ransom added you to his cards, to a shared checking account, and it wouldn’t be too difficult to get approved.
A new life, one where you could focus on yourself for once, was just around the corner.
**
"I'm sorry, miss, but it's definitely not the reader. The card is declined."
You've had this nightmare before. No, you've lived this nightmare before--years ago when your credit was shit and you ran up your cards and had to face the music in a publicly humiliating display with the longest checkout line you'd ever seen behind you. Only that was years ago, in a little grocery store, and since getting together with Ransom you never had to worry about problems like this. You never had to worry about the shame of not having enough, not being enough.
But this? This was happening now. In an upscale hotel. With your nice purse (a Christmas present) and designer clothes (casual, comfortable) and your cheeks flushed undeniably warm.
The hotel clerk has a tight, sympathetic smile on her face. A coworker who walks behind her glances at you, judging, and you just know he's going to head into some break room and tell everyone but yet another piece of discarded army candy with a declined credit card. You wish you'd kept your sunglasses on.
"Did it, um, say why? I don't--" you plaster a smile on your face, hating the way this all feels familiar, like a part of your past coming back to haunt you. "I don't understand, the card is good."
The clerk's smile flickers, just a bit.
"It says there's a fraud alert on this card. Perhaps you'd better call the company. Or would you like me to call them?"
Fucking. Ransom.
"Oh, oh no, don’t worry about it. I’ll call them myself. I'm so sorry about this." You turn away from the clerk as quickly as possible and step away from the counter, away from the person waiting behind you who will surely have no trouble with their card, away from the clerks giving you a passive side-eye. You lean against a cool cement pillar in the lobby and you know what you have to do.
You have to call Ransom.
You haven't deleted his number yet--you'd planned on calling him today or tomorrow to figure out how to split up your shared finances--so it's easy enough to find the number. It's not so easy to tap his contact, but you have to, so you force yourself to do it and stare at his photo as the call rings. And rings. And rings. “Hello?” Your breath catches but in an instant, when the message continues, you feel stupid. It’s his voicemail. Fuck.
You text him, instead. Emergency. Call right away. And of course: He leaves you on read. Fuck.
You call him again. And again. He picks up on the sixth call, but your heart is racing too hard and sweat is beading down your forehead and it takes you a moment to confirm that the "Hello?" wasn't part of the voicemail message this time. Fuck.
"Um. Hey," you say, keeping your voice as un-royally-pissed-off as possible, because if he did put in a fraud alert then you don't want to risk any additional asshole moves. "So there's something wrong with the card? The one that ends in 8921? The hotel said there was a fraud alert and--"
"Did you really think I'm going to keep paying for your shit if we're over?"
His voice is quick, biting--exactly what you'd expected from him earlier. Somehow it stings even harsher over the phone, where you feel more helpless, unable to avoid his words.
"I thought..." you wet your lips, trying to maintain your cool. "Look, my name is on them, so I thought send you my part of the payments until I can get cards in my own name."
He chuckles, low and short. "Yeah? What, you want to create a payment schedule or something?"
You fight back the annoyance in your tone. You hate having to be the bigger person, but your finances--your life--is on the line. "Yeah, actually, that'd be perfect. It wouldn't be for long. You know I'll pay them on time, I'm not looking to screw you over."
"You're going too pay me on time? For all the stuff you've bought, the stuff I’ve bought for you, this hotel room and god knows what else? How are you going to afford all that?"
He knows you recently earned a promotion at your work. He knows this, because you were so excited about it, and his half-assed congratulations over lukewarm leftovers left you feeling bitter and sad and useless. So you can't help it when bitterness seeps into your voice with your answer. "You know I just got a promotion."
"Did you?" It's said in such a casual tone that it gives you pause, but a moment later he simply hangs up on you.
Fucking. Ransom.
You shove your phone back into your purse, and the clerks at the counter are staring at you. Sweat has trickled down your back and your shirt sticks to your skin ever-so-slightly as you pull away from the pillar and approach the counter, awkward smile and cheeks hot.
"There is an issue with the card, they're working on it, so I’ll just call for a new reservation when it's fixed. I'm so sorry for the mix up!" Your voice is so peppy and high-pitched and fake and you feel like you’re back at your old job, feet aching with falling apart shoes, forced to deal with people returning old toasters laden with crumbs, calming they’d “just bought it the day before and it didn’t work.”
"Of course," the clerk says, and you know this is hotel clerk code for "You're a shitty liar."
You roll your suitcase out of the lobby with tears in your eyes and you shove your sunglasses on as soon as you've cleared the building. You feel exhausted, drained--so you use what little energy you have left to start googling for cheap motels.
**
The room smells musty. You pin the plastic sheet you’d snagged at a dollar store over the comforter and pray it will be enough to protect you from whatever is on the likely unwashed fabric. The TV is broken, there’s no WIFi, and there’s a few suspicious stains on the floor that make you wonder if this hotel has ever been featured in a porno, true crime show, or both.
But it’s all you could afford with the cash in your wallet. You only had enough cash on hand for 2 nights at a ragtag hotel that offers nightly and hourly rates. You didn’t dare use your debit card or any credit cards with Ransom’s name or information on them.
You just need some sleep. A good night’s sleep to feel renewed and ready to tackle retaking your life, bit by bit. In the morning, you need to go to the bank and withdraw your money from the joint bank account. Then you can reopen an account in your name, get a new debit card, and apply for a few credit cards afterwards.
Sure, it would have been nicer to do this without Ransom being an asshole. But deep down, you suspected he wouldn’t let you have a clean, lets-still-be-friends type of break. Not after all the times he’d pressured you into staying, manipulating you with words and gifts and promises, promises. Promises that were worth shit. 
The sheet crinkles underneath you as you scroll through your messages. You’d texted a few formerly close friends about the breakup earlier, hoping that they’d maybe want to reconnect. So far, you’d been left on read, blocked, and received only one response: “New number, who is this?”
So much for that. Not that you can blame them. There are only so many times they can rush over for a late night intervention in which you tell them every horrible thing Ransom does (he’s controlling, he doesn’t want me to meet with friends without permission, he tells me what I can and can’t wear, he cheats, he lies, he pushed me--)--before they get tired of you returning to him, again and again and again.
The only one who’d been texting you recently--okay, for the past year--had been Ransom. Mostly dick pics. And demands for you to send him something back, which you always did after a while, because you didn’t want to deal annoyed texts or voice messages accusing you of clearly cheating on him or hating him because why else wouldn’t you be willing to send him so much as a sexy selfie to your boyfriend? 
But in between those, there were conversations. Sometimes sweet ones, sometimes thoughtful ones that always made you remember why you fell hard for him in the first place. Late night conversations from when he was off on trips. You try not to wonder if he was fucking someone on each of these trips, if while you were sending him a late night ramble about a TV show and he was humoring you with jokes and quips, he was actually snuggled up with someone else. Laying in bed, naked, laughing at your dumb ass waiting at home.
The not-so-sweet conversations were ones that you had screenshotted and sent to your friends more than once, before they pulled themselves away. Texts asking where you were. Asking who you ate lunch with, and whether or not you were fucking them. Asking why your new office was connected to a certain co-worker’s, and how many blowjobs you had to give to get said new office because you didn’t tell him about the new office until after you were moved in, so you were clearly hiding him. Asking you to send him outfit pics so he could approve them or make you change if they were too slutty or not slutty enough or if you were only clearly wearing that halter dress to try to get with the bartender.
Yet your mind had always returned to the nice Ransom, the Ransom who made you laugh and squeezed you hard when had a shitty day of work and let you bury your face in his sweater as you snuggled on the couch. Maybe that’s why it took so long to leave.  You were waiting for him to stop being Ransom and start being the fantasy of Ransom you’d conjured in your head.
Your eyes feel heavy so you plug in your phone, turn the sound off, and lay down on the uncomfortable plastic sheet that crinkled over the pillows. It feels strange to lay on a lumpy mattress covered in plastic, after years of custom-made beds and memory foam pillows and all the other luxuries that Ransom was able to provide.
You try not to think about it too much. While you won’t exactly be indulging in all the luxuries you had with Ransom, but your job pays you well, and you won’t ever have to go back to living hand-to-mouth like you did before. You won’t have to worry about late bills and debt collectors and landlords who come late at night and demand inspections while you’re in your pajamas.
You have work in the morning. You have to get to the bank in the morning. Your thoughts are still buzzing with anxiety as you fall into an uneasy slumber.
**
“I’m sorry, but the account has been closed.”
You feel years of customer service training cracking underneath your skin. You can’t freak out. If you freak out, they won’t feel inclined to go the extra mile. You know this, from firsthand experience.
So you take a shaky breath. “Um, this just--it isn’t possible. It’s a joint account. I’m on the account. There was money in there, you can check--”
“I’m sorry, but the funds were transferred and account has been closed by the other account holder. There’s nothing I can do. I suggest contacting the other party in the account.”
You swallow and nod and walk away, this time having been smart enough to keep your sunglasses on to hide your humiliated expression. Why didn’t you insist on having your own account? Ransom said it was better to keep it joint, so you could just buy stuff whenever you wanted. You’d agreed because it was so generous, something you’d never thought possible at the time, when you were used to having to pay overdraft fees and cringing whenever you checked your balance.
Your fingers tremble as you bring up his contact on your phone. You tap. No answer.
You don’t have time to call him two, three, ten times--you have to get to work. So you steady your nerves. You breathe in, you breathe out. You get in your car and plug your phone in and decide to contact your lawyer. Fuck--your lawyer was Ransom's lawyer. But the anxiety eases when you remember that you’d paid him a retainer fee months ago, and Ransom couldn’t do anything about that. You could at least get a basic consult out of the retainer.
The call ringing sounds muffled through your car’s speaker but it isn’t long before someone answers, and you’re transferred to the lawyer Ransom insisted you have--gotta have a lawyer when you have money, babe--and that you hadn’t spoken to in ages.
“Hi,” you say, voice artificially bright, “this is--”
You don’t get a chance to finish.
“I know who this is.” The lawyer sounds tired, and his tone is curt and clipped. “I’m sorry. I’m no longer able to provide you with any legal counsel.”
You almost miss a red light and regret calling the office while you were driving.
“Is this about the debit card? Because I paid the retainer months ago--”
“The retainer has been refunded into the connected checking account.”
Your voice looses its artificial cheeriness and you stumble over your words in frustration. “That’s--it’s--it was a joint account, which is why I called, Ransom drained it and took everything. Isn’t there something we can do, because that was my money too and--”
“I am no longer able to provide you with legal counsel.”
You want to cry. You hate crying, as an adult. It makes you feel weak. Especially on the phone.
“I don’t understand. Why was the retainer refunded? Did--did someone call you?”
He clears his throat into the phone. “I am no longer able to provide you with legal counsel. Goodbye.”
He hangs up. Your hands shake.
You pull into the parking lot of your work and park the car and as soon as you do, you hunch yourself over the steering wheel and simply shake in frustration.
You have no bank account. Ransom drained it. You have no credit cards. Ransom blocked them. You couldn’t even talk to a lawyer, because--shock--Ransom made sure you couldn’t. Everything was in Ransom’s name. He insisted on adding you to his accounts, closing out your own paltry ones; insisted that he pay off your credit card debt, and making you close those, too, instead adding you to his cards. It was all to help you out, he said, at the time.
Wasn’t it? He was shockingly not judgmental about the state of your finances, and while you’d put up some protest, you didn’t exactly argue with him when he suggested wiping your debts clean and getting your credit back up. And considering that he wasn’t immune to needing a bail-out now and then (late night calls to his grandfather, snarky comments at his parent’s dinner table, come to mind) maybe he could sympathize with being in over your head. Even if your issues were rooted in poverty and shitty jobs and his were rooted in a total lack of financial discipline and, as you’d later found out, a drug addiction.
Still. He helped you before. He would help you now, once he realized how serious it was. For now he was just--reacting like an asshole, acting childish and ridiculous. He was an asshole. You know this. You’ve known this. You need to call him and meet with him and make him realize how ridiculous he’s being, and he’ll sigh and snark but he’ll agree to stop acting like such an ass.
But first you have to work. Life goes on. Even without Ransom--even with Ransom, screwing you over out of pettiness.
The air conditioning in the lobby is on blast, and the familiar smell of clean furniture and floor cleaner from the late-night cleaning crew is surprisingly comforting. Here, you can forget about Ransom--forget about the cards and the lawyer and the fact that your life has been upended in mere hours. If only until your lunch break, at least.
Anthony is working the front desk and you give him a a soft, if strained smile. There’s something in the smile that he gives you in return that reminds you of the hotel clerk. Sympathetic and judgmental.
Ah. You probably look like--well, less than your best, you realize. You did pack some toiletries in your suitcase but the water in the motel had streaks of brown and you didn’t shower, opting instead to rinse your face with what was left of a water bottle you’d bought earlier and layering on more deodorant to make up for the lack of a proper scrub. You probably looked a bit tired, haggard, not unlike some of the employees who got stuck with big clients the night before their paperwork was due.
Still. Nothing that freshening up in your private bathroom--thank god for the new office--can’t help. So you hit the button on the elevator and take deep breaths as you ride up, intent on working as productively as possible. The doors open and you navigate the familiar maze of open-plan desks for the lower-tier workers, desks surrounded by half-walls that always kept you staring straight ahead, lest you accidentally glance over and see a co-worker picking their nose.
Yet as you weave in-and-out of the familiar rows, heading towards the back of the room where the real offices, the ones with full walls and doors and privacy glass lay, you can’t help but feel that something is… off. 
No one calls out to greet you, though that can be easily attributed to the jealousy over your promotion. You’d been working there for far less than most of the lower level workers--Ransom got you the job, with his connections and a hefty revision of your resume and, you assume, some personal phone calls--and you’d already been promoted to senior management. That wasn’t technically Ransom’s work, though. That was all your own effort, your own blood, sweat, tears and intense devotion to each project that came your way. Sure, the connections he helped you make, the dinner parties, all that helped--but if it weren’t for your skills, the connections wouldn’t have made a difference. Right? 
Still, whatever bitterness existed in the people hunch in open-air cubicles, the receptionists always greeted you. But today they caught your eye then awkwardly glanced down, or pretended to be looking for something in their drawers. It was odd. Did you look that bad? That out of sorts?
You shake off the heavy feeling in your stomach and for once, you shut the door to your office instead of keeping it open for passers-by or people needing approval for this-and-that. It feels good to lean against the solid wood door and take a breath, a deep one, invigorating and calming.
A quick trip to the bathroom has you staring at yourself from all angles. You don’t look that bad, you reason. Just tired. But who wouldn’t be, sleeping on a plastic sheet in the shittiest motel in the area? You take a quick sniff under your arms but even that reveals nothing much but a faint hint of sweat and powdery deodorant.
There’s a firm knock at your office door and you glance at the mirror for a final once over before opening it up. It’s your boss. Did you have a meeting? You try to do a mental scan of something you’ve missed, but nothing comes to mind.
“Hi,” you say, wavering with uncertainty at the threshold. Should you invite him in? “What can I do for you? We didn’t have a meeting, did we?” You let yourself chuckle, dry and quick. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit scattered this morning.”
Your boss doesn’t return your chuckle, which immediately raises the hairs on the back of your neck. Something was wrong. Shit--you were working on a major project for a seriously important client. The type of client that could genuinely make or break a company, if you got on their bad side. You press your lips together and make a silent vow to keep it serious.
“I’d like to keep this conversation private.” His tone is low and serious and you invite him in without a second thought, shutting the thick door behind you, trying to ignore the way everyone was shooting glances as it closed. Fuck, fuck, fuck, your thoughts race--no wonder everyone was giving you the stink eye. Something was wrong with the client, and you were the one making primary contact with them.
Your boss takes a seat on the leather sofa pushed up against the wall and you immediately set yourself down behind your desk.
He sighs. Short. Frustrated. Annoyed.
“We have to let you go.”
The words don’t register.
“Go where?”
It’s only after you say it that you realize what he said, what it meant, and you feel like a colossal moron in every respect.
“It’s not working out,” he continues, staring at your desk and not at your face. “Since you’ve only been in this position for a month, you don’t quality for senior severance. The best we can do is to pay you what you’ve earned this week.”
Your mouth is so dry that you don’t know if you can talk. Your hand fumbles on your desk for a water bottle you’d left overnight, and that’s when you see it--the photo frame. You keep a photo of yourself and Ransom, cuddled together for a selfie, on your desk. The photo was lying on your desk, frameless, ripped in half--leaving only your vacantly smiling face staring up at you.
Ransom was here.
“Did he put you up to this?” You whisper. “Did Ransom tell you to fire me?”
You know he won’t answer. But you stare at him so fervently that he can’t help but look up at you, and you see it all in his eyes, in the subtle, embarrassed expression of his face.
You can imagine Ransom strolling in--maybe he called first--and settling in for a private audience with your boss in his office. He’d probably pull the chair up to the desk and put his feet on it, just to be an ass. Then he’d bring up… you. And why you had to be let go. Did he give a reason, did he tell your boss why a respected employee who he once secured a position for, who shot up the ranks through intense effort and work, needed to be fired? Did he even need to give a reason?
“This is absolute bullshit,” you say, finally, voice dry and hoarse and bitter. You want to say you’ll be contacting a lawyer. That this won’t stand. But you know--and he knows--that there’s nothing you can do.
Your boss stands, slow, and sighs again. “I’m sorry it had to end this way. Pack up your things as quickly as possible.”
He leaves, and you keep your eyes trained on the ripped photograph to avoid seeing the expressions of the people in the doorway before your boss mercifully shuts the door.
It takes all of your effort not to cry.
You don’t have much effort left.
**
Your things consisted of a handful of personal items, little touches you’d brought in to make your office feel more like “you.” A nice picture print. A pastel afghan to drape over the couch. A stapler with a floral design. You have the strong urge to dump them in a trash can, but that’s quickly quelled by the realization that you can’t afford to buy new things, or any things, at this point.
You don’t care if wearing your sunglasses as you power walk to the elevators makes you look stupid. You know someone, somewhere in this office is filming you and probably captioning it with something stupid to post to their Reels or TikTok, and it just makes you leave faster. A few people murmur comments your way, sympathetic in tone, but you’re not really listening. None of their platitudes matter, because Ransom was here, in your workplace, in your office, and he stole the thing you were most proud of from under your feet.
To his credit, when you reach the bottom floor, Anthony practically fumbles out from behind his desk and holds the door open for you. He mouths a “Sorry” and he probably is, but he’s probably used to dealing with rich assholes like Ransom who get what they want, when they want it; even when what they want is to fire a good employee on demand for very personal reasons.
The sun is beating down hard, even for the morning, and the stress of your situation makes you blast the air conditioning as soon as you get in the car. God, the car--how are you going to afford the payments? You wish you could call your mom. You wish your friends--are they even your friends, anymore?--would call you back.
You grab your phone from your purse and stare at the black screen. Maybe you should call the friend who didn’t block you. She would answer, if you called, because she knew you didn’t make calls unless it was serious. She might not rush to your side, but maybe she can offer you a place to stay, a couch, some advice. A kind word would do, right now, with how much anxiety and frustration has been packed into the last 12 hours.
But when you unlock your screen, your gut sinks. Five missed calls. From the storage company. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
You tap their number and bring the phone to your ear and pretend that your hands aren’t shaking.
The man who answers is the same one you talked to on the phone before, when setting up your move. “Hello, Move’nSecure Storage Company. This is Steve speaking. How many I help you?”
“Hi Steve!” You hate how chipper you sound. “I actually just got a few missed calls from you guys, I’m sorry, I was in the office and--”
“Oh.” His voice is surprisingly flat, suddenly flat, losing its customer service inflection in an instant before picking it back up. “Yes. We’ve been trying to reach you. For confirmation, the storage locker your purchased is A443, correct?”
You fumble in your purse for the receipt and confirm the little numbers printed neatly on the paper. “Yes, A443. Is everything okay?”
“No, it’s not.” You’re grateful that you didn’t have much for breakfast because you know it would be clawing its way back up at this point. “The card you gave us for the storage fee was declined.”
The debit card. You’d paid in cash for the move, and paid for 1 month of storage with the card. The card that was now useless, connected to an empty and closed bank account.
“Is there another card you can give us?”
“No, but...” You say, because no, there is not. There is not a card. There is not a job. There is nothing. “But if you could just hold my stuff, I’ll be there in less than a hour to get it.”
“We don’t hold items,” Steve tells you, a rehearsed banality to his tone. “Your items are currently outside the unit.”
You instinctively want to yell at Steve but, fuck fuck fuck, you’ve been there, behind the counter, dealing with people who couldn’t pay for shit and then had the nerve to get upset with you. “All of it?” You ask, your voice cracking slightly.
“Yes.”
You hang up, and toss your phone onto the passenger seat. The quicker you get there, the less chance that something will get broken or stolen or who knows what else.
The trip to the storage unit seems to take forever, and when you arrive you don’t even take a second to lock your car doors. Instead you sprint inside, startling Steve--looking at his phone, then at you, then at the sign plastered up on the wall leading to the storage locker floors. He points. Row A, separated into 100s, 200s, 300s, and--your number--400s.
You don’t remember if you say ‘thank you,’ because you’re speed-walking down the hallway and following the signs and it isn’t long before you see it: a storage locker with tons of stuff piled up, dumped, outside the now-empty unit where it was supposed to be safe and sound. Waiting for you to get an apartment and pick it back up and rearrange it into your new life, your new “you.”
The problem is immediate: You can’t fit all this in your car. You don’t know anyone who could take the stuff for you. You mind reels for options and the only thing you can come up with is ferrying your belongings to and from the hotel. You can pay for a few more days once you cash your partial paycheck. After that… you don’t know.
Pawn your things? Yeah. That might work. You can get enough cash by pawning most of your stuff, the good stuff. Enough money to get you into a shitty apartment with leaks and a bad landlord. Then you can a job that barely pays rent and you’ll be right back where you started, before you met Ransom. Before you thought leaking ceilings and $20 paychecks after taxes were a thing of the past.
You ignore the humiliation that makes your stomach curl as you take your things out to the car, handful by handful. Steve doesn’t bother holding the door open for you. You mention that you’re going to be back on your way out, and he offers a non-committal hum.
At least when you get to the hotel, the owner sees you fumbling with boxes and offers to help you out. It takes less time with two hands to get everything in the room, and once it’s locked up you head back out to the storage units.
You keep your sunglasses on for the second trip into the storage unit, even though you don’t know Steve or care what he thinks. He doesn’t look up when you walk in and it’s just as well, since you’re only heading back to the A-400s and don’t need his non-existent help.
But the sight that greets you when you round the corner to your unpaid-for storage locker makes your blood run cold.
Your stuff is gone. All of it.
You rush back to the desk, where Steve does look up, startled by your urgency.
“My stuff,” you spit out, “My stuff is gone! Someone took it!”
Steve shrugs. “Sorry.” He points to a sign behind him: “We are not responsible for the loss of items inside or outside storage lockers.”
“Are you fucking kidding?” You can’t the anger in your voice this time. “You just watched someone walk off with my stuff and didn’t say anything?”
Steve raises his eyebrows. “If it was that important, you shouldn’t have left it here. Or you should have given us another card.”
You feel like throwing your hands up but you just clench your fist and storm out the door, huffing as you reach your car. The anger melts into the sense of loss, the realization that you only have a few meager items that you’d managed to collect; you picked the lightest stuff, first. And in retrospect it was things that didn’t matter much at all. Clothes. Hair supplies. Makeup. You should have grabbed the box with your USB sticks, your memory cards, your photo albums; your personal mementos and sentimental shit. Instead you grabbed the box with your shampoo.
At least the clothes might get something in a pawnshop. The makeup, too, on Facebook or Depop or Instagram. But it wouldn’t be enough to put you up in an apartment. You’ll have to live in your car. Until they repossess it for lack of payment.
You don’t have your bank account, your credit cards, your job, a place to stay, or your personal possessions. And soon, you won’t have your car.
You have no friends. No boyfriend. No family.
All you have $20 left in your wallet and well, fuck it. You grab some McDonalds on the way home because, fuck it, and eat all the fries before you make it to the motel. The thought of eating in your dirty room makes your stomach turn and you decide to eat everything else you bought, the burger and the shake and the chicken nuggets too, tossing the wrappers on the floor. It feels like deja vu--getting cheap fast food to make you feel full, tossing trash on the floor of the passenger seat, all bringing back the way you used to when you’d grab something from the dollar menu on your way to work at the call center.
You almost wish you could stay at this hotel, brown water and all. The owner is decently nice. He smiles at you when you enter and doesn’t bring up that you didn’t come back with more boxes, like you said you would.  
You’re surprised at how grateful you feel for the dingy hotel room now that you won’t be able to stay here more than another day. Now that the alternative is sleeping in your car, then sleeping on the street, if you were lucky.
Your phone feels heavy when you set it on the table and stare at the home screen. Another photo of you and Ransom stares back up at you. You haven’t had time to change it up yet. He’s grinning. You’re smiling. It’s a good photo. You try to place it in your memory, try to remember what beach that was, but your trips blur together and you can’t.
Should you call him? If it was just the cards, just him being petty over credit and finances, it was one thing. You could try to placate him with returning gifts, just asking him to give you what you put in from your own paychecks. But making you lose your job? It was too far, too fucking far. And there was no going back from that. Fuck, someone was probably moving into your office as you sat in this dimly lit room mourning the loss of your entire life.
For a brief, very fleeting moment, you consider calling Harlan. You weren’t exceptionally close, but he seemed to like you well enough. He’d even asked you once, puling you aside at a tension-filled family party, if Ransom treated you right, told you to tell him if he ever got to be too much. Harlan felt like Ransom’s keeper--in more ways than one. You could never tell Harlan about the shouts or the occasional bruises from when Ransom really, really lost his temper--it’s not like you could prove them, anyway, as Ransom made sure to keep you away from his family when he lost control like that. No need for excuses about running into doors when he made sure you looked your best at family functions.
But the thought of breaking the uneasy stasis that Ransom had with the most significant member of his family made you want to vomit. There would be no coming back from that, and you knew better than to cross any line involving the great Harlan Thrombey.
You could call your friend--ex-friend? The one who didn’t block you or forget your number. You should. No, you will. Because what else do you have to lose.
But before you can bring up her number, you get a text--Ransom. It’s a photo and your curiosity gets the better of you as you click the notification.
“What the fuck?”
He’s sent you a photo of his car, trunk open. It’s filled with boxes, odds-and-ends. It’s filled with your stuff.
You text him: What??
He texts back: Hey. I’m in front of the hotel. Come out? Bring your suitcase. :P
It’s your stuff. It’s his car. He’s here. All reason is thrown aside as you grab your suitcase and purse and rush down the hallway, ignoring the owner’s confused response from behind his desk as you push open the front doors and look around the parking lot.
His car is parked to the side, not in front of the hotel’s glass double doors. He’s standing outside his car, leaning against it. He takes off his sunglasses and tucks them in his pocket when he sees you approaching, face confused and fuming all at once.
“What the fuck, Ransom, what the fuck is your problem--”
“Hey, hey,” he says, hands up in defense, “You’re not even going to thank me for picking up your stuff?”
You feel suddenly, impossibly rooted to the spot.
“What do you--what? You took my stuff?”
He shrugs. “C’mon, did you really think I’d just leave your stuff in some shitty storage unit? Someone would’ve taken it if I didn’t get there first.”
You swallow. “Why?” You ask, because Ransom never does anything for no reason. Or so you’ve learned.
His expression loses a bit of its cocky casualness. He tilts his head a bit, looking at you as if you’ve asked a particularly offensive question.
“Why do you think?”
To lord it over you? To make you think your stuff was gone and make you worried, sick, crazy?
“I don’t know,” is what you settle for in the end. “I really, really don’t. You--” You lick your lips, and try to calm down, calm the pitter-patter of your heart, and think before you speak. “You’ve done some pretty messed up stuff today. My job?” The last question comes out soft and pained, and you know your eyes are starting to tear up.
“Hey.” His voice is soft and placating and it makes your stomach flip as he approaches you, standing there on the sidewalk with your purse and suitcase. “Hey, c’mon. Don’t cry on me.”
You know this Ransom. The Ransom that holds you and pets your hair and offers to get Thai food delivered even though he doesn’t like it just to make you happy.
He puts his hand on your shoulder and you jerk it away. “Don’t.” That Ransom is a fantasy. Or an incomplete version, the version that pretends he doesn’t lie and cheat and hurt you in more ways than one. “Don’t you fucking dare, especially not after what you pulled today. My job? My job, Ransom? You’re a--a fucking asshole.”
He puts his hands up again, defensive, and takes a step back. But he doesn’t return to his car, and stays just a few steps in front of you.
“Look. Call me an asshole. Sure, fine, I can admit that. But do you know what else I am?”
He waits a beat, waits for you to look at him, before he continues. “I’m a realist. I like facts. And the fact is? You aren’t much without me. No job, no credit cards, no bank account. Without me, you’re just some broke chick scrambling to get an apartment in the shittiest part of town, working a dead-end job that don’t pay shit. With me though…. “
He leaves the words unfinished, but you know what he means. Flashes of your life, cocktails and smart business outfits and dinners at restaurants you didn’t even dream about attending before you met him. Phone calls with shakers in the industry and social media requests from people you’d never dream you’d meet. Connections that meant something, a career path, dinner parties with people who could offer tangible benefits to your career and your life.
It wasn’t that he spoiled you. He wasn’t a sugar daddy. You weren’t getting gifts for blowjobs. It was that his presence in your life boosted you, socially, financially, mentally, physically, in every which way possible.
His presence got you a job that you loved, which meant you weren’t burnt out when you came home, which meant that you had the time and energy to spend hours catching up on books or redecorating the house or watching movies. Good money meant you could order in whenever you felt like it, meant you didn’t have to worry if you burned dinner because you could just buy new steaks or order-in or go out, last minute, and still get a great table. It meant you had all the clothes you wanted, stylish and personally tailored; it meant you had easy access to a gym and exercise equipment and an indoor pool to keep you healthy. It meant you had a life that provided comfort in every way possible.
Being with Ransom Drysdale was like… like a little shot of privilege directly into your arm.
Privilege that he took away just as easily as he gave it. Just as easily as you took it. Just as easily as you took it and eagerly ignored the dark side underneath. Or maybe you didn’t ignore it. Maybe you liked it, maybe it reminded you of who you were underneath the designer clothes and expensive dinners.
Maybe you wanted to fix him, like he fixed you? He wasn’t totally bad, after all, he did make sure no one took your belongings. Maybe it was your presence that gave him the idea for that touch of sympathy, maybe with Ransom change was slow and muddled, not picture-perfect sweeping changes like the kind in movies.
“So?” Ransom’s voice cuts through your thoughts. “Are you going to come home or,” he waves his hands around dismissively, at the hotel, at you.
You feel very, very less-than right now. You look awful, your hair mussy and your makeup mostly melted off with sweat and sun. You probably smell more than you normally do, thanks to the lack of a shower. Your muscles, sore from the motel bed, ache for the large spa bathtub that Ransom had installed in the master bathroom just for you, stocked with bubbles and salts and overpriced bath bombs that were $10 a pop.
But your muscles had hurt before, when he pushed you against the dresser.
You have nothing, and no one. Except Ransom. Ransom who didn’t judge you when you instinctively saved plastic bottles and boxes, but merely nudged you towards recycling and took you out to splurge on a reusable water bottle and proper storage containers the next day. Ransom who asked you what sort of job you wanted, really wanted, and made it happen for you. Ransom who shrugged and wiped away your credit card debt without making you feel like shit.
Ransom who didn’t let you leave the house if your wrists were sporting fingerprint shaped bruises. Ransom who argued with you about talking to men, even men at work. Ransom who held you tight at night and said he never wanted to let you go, and wouldn’t you just make a fine-ass addition his crazy family. Ransom who took care of you, now that you had no one else.
“What do you want me to do?” The words feel slow, sluggish. Like they wanted to stick to the roof of your mouth and it took everything in you to get them out.
His voice turns low and serious as he stares at you with an characteristic expression. “Well, the first thing is to get down on your knees…”
You feel your eyes practically bugging out.
“What the fuck, Ransom?”
He laughs. He always did have a nice laugh.
“I’m just messing with you, Jesus. Take a chi-I-il pill. Just grab your purse and come sit your sweet ass in the front seat. Let’s go get some burgers, I’m starving.”
Your legs feel like jelly when you take that first step, and the sound of your roller suitcase as you pull it along seems louder than ever. Ransom pops the truck and you just manage to fit it inside with the handle closed, jamming it in between some boxes at an odd angle. The handle of the passenger side is familiar, warm from the sun.
You open the door and practically shove yourself into the seat, closing the door as fast as possible. You can’t do more than glance at him as humiliation and anxiety and just the smallest bit of relief washes over you. It’s been less than 24 hours since you broke up, and here you are--again.
He’s staring at you quietly, his expression difficult to place. He looks relieved. He looks annoyed. He looks like he wants to kiss you. He looks like he wants to slap you. Maybe he wants to do it all at once and can’t decide which to pick.
Instead, he puts his hand on your thigh. Gives it a squeeze. Hard, bordering on painful.  He’s staring straight ahead, at the worn-out sign on the hotel’s front door, one hand gripping the flesh of your thigh. He looks good in profile. “Don’t ever try to pull something like that again. I mean it. I really mean it.”
You turn, glance out the window, familiar tears at the edge of your eyes.
“I won’t,” you whisper, dreaming of the tub and bubbles and how good a warm soak will feel on your back, on your thighs, on your soul.
“Good girl,” he says, patting your thigh firmly. He plucks his sunglasses out of pocket and puts them on in a smooth motion. The car starts smoothly, its fine-tuned and expensive engine a familiar sound, and your hands feel robotic as you pull the seatbelt over your chest and click it tight.
“Let’s get dinner and get home. You have some unpacking to do.”
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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years ago
Note
71. you’re famous and you want to hide out in my bookstore which is fine except the stupid paparazzi won’t leave and now there’s a photo of us in the tabloids and they’re printing misinformation and why the fuck won’t you clear this up on your twitter account
Sternclay, NSFW, please!
Here you go! Let's end this round of meet uglies with a bang
The post-holiday slump is always the worst; everyone maxed out their credit cards last month and doesn’t want to buy anything, and the tourists won’t be back until the spring. It’s not that he’s concerned about keeping the lights on; Bookworms is popular and has a prime spot downton. It’s that he’s bored out of his mind.
All his orders for the day are in, everything’s been received and shelved, and he’s running out of things to tidy. If he’s lucky, the clouds that have been threatening a snowstorm since this morning will burst and drive some people to shelter among the stacks.
Dingdong
Thank the lord.
“Welcome to Bookworms, can I help you?”
The man stays by the door, peering through the glass onto the street while pulling off his beanie, “Huh? Oh, uh, nope, just coming in to, uh, get out of the cold.” He turns, and two realizations slap Joseph in the face.
One: this is the hottest man he has ever had the pleasure of seeing.
Two: He’s seen this man dozens of times, just never in person.
Barclay Cobb is a Food Network darling who got his start on Youtube, sharing recipes from vintage cookbooks he found at garage sales. That’s not why he’s starstruck, but it is probably why the taller man is hiding in the craft books alcove and keeps nervously looking his way.
“I won’t tell anyone you’re here, Mr. Cobb.”
“Phew” the man sighs, unzips his jacket, “thanks man. Thought I’d be bundled up enough that no one would spot me while I was out, but I didn’t get my hat on in time coming out of the Chinese place down the block.”
“I love that spot, they have the best beer-braised duck.”
“Yeah, I always stop by when I’m in town, they’re food is worth getting photographed for.”
It’s odd, everything he’s read suggests chef Cobb is friendly and warm when approached by fans in public.
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate that people like my shows but, I, uh, sometimes I just want to eat or walk down the street without someone taking pictures of me.”
“Do you want to head into the back sections? There’s no windows in that half of the store.”
“Sweet, thanks. Uh, would it be cool if I autographed any books of mine you have? I like doing that, means I can send a little business towards smaller stores.”
“Of course. Here, the cookbooks are on this wall.” He slips into his office to grab a sharpie while Barclay pulls a stack of books and sits down on the floor. As the scratching of the pen fills the air, Joseph takes a trip to the paranormal and occult section, coming back with three copies of The Case for Bigfoot.”
“Y’know, not everyone stocks these.” Barclay smiles as he adds the paperbacks to the pile.
“Which is terrible business; you’re just as famous in the cryptozoology community as you are in the foodie one. This is the best book on bigfoot ever written, and I should know; I run a, um, a blog where I review books on paranormal topics.”
“You a true believer?” The cook blows on his signature in the copy of Desserts for All Seasons
“More an optimistic skeptic; your book is perfect because you make your case using actual evidence instead of reporting the same ten, poorly verified stories that everyone includes in their books. And I appreciated that you included recipes from the places you visited; that was a very nice touch.”
“Funny story about that” Barclay freezes as the front door opens. There’s definitely more than one person coming in, and when Joseph pokes his head around the corner he sees fifteen people, all with cameras or phones.
“Shit. You might want to hide in my office for a few minutes.”
By the time the crowd reaches him, Joseph is almost done re-shelving the signed books.
“Good afternoon, let me know if you need help finding anything.”
“Uh, yeah, we do, someone saw Barclay Cobb in your store-”
“Strange, we’ve only had one customer” he winces as someone’s shoulder knocks a hardcover off its display, “I didn’t get a good look at them before they went downstairs.” He tips his head at the staircase to the YA and Graphic Novel sections and is promptly knocked into the shelf as the throng hurries away.
“Come on, I can get you out through the back door” Joseph whispers to the Red Dust on his Soul poster on his office door. Barclay is remarkably quiet for a man his size as they sneak across the floor and let frigid, January air rush into the store.
“Thanks man” Barclay whispers, “I owe you one.” He sets a big hand on Joseph’s shoulder, squeezes it with a wink, then pulls on his hat and disappears into a crowd coming off at the bus stop.
---------------------------------------------------
Joseph always comes in through the back, flipping on lights as he goes, so the sea of bodies pressed to the front windows like a zombie horde surprises him. He knows Barclay tweeted about the signed copies, but this seems like excessive excitement even for a celebrity chef.
“Morning, Joseph--whoa, what the heck?” Aubrey clocks in without taking her eyes off the crowd, “why is everyone here this early.”
“Fan culture. I think.” The registers finish waking up, “I’ll pay holiday rates if you open that door for me.”
Aubrey gives a thumbs up, unlocks the double doors, and is swallowed up so quickly he worries she might have been trampled until she emerges near the greeting cards. Some people swarm the cookbooks, but an alarming number cluster around the counter, all shouting for his attention.
“How long have you been seeing Chef Cobb?”
“What?, I, I’m not-”
“Does he often visit your store?”
“No! He just came by yesterday!” There’s a horrible clatter of all the books on display near the door taking each other out like dominoes.
“Do you fuck in the backroom all the time?”
“Oh come on” He pushes past the man who asked that, deals with shouting all the way to his office and slams the door. A quick Google search for “Barclay Cobb” brings up a blurry photo of them in the alley, Barclays hand on his shoulder, and multiple headlines speculating on why the reclusive chef and author has chosen a nobody bookstore employee (he’s the owner, damn it) as his lover.
Okay, there’s a logical, easy fix to this.
He opens the door enough to speak, whistles so everyone will be quiet and listen to him, “I’m sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding. Mr. Cobb isn’t in any kind of relationship with me; he just came into the store yesterday for some peace and quiet. So, if you’re looking for information about him, this is not the place for it. If you’re looking for the signed books, the cookbooks are there, and the paranormal section is just around that corner.” He gives his best customer service smile as the paparazzi exchange perplexed glances.
“...Is it true he bought you this store?”
“Wh--no! We rent this space.”
“From him?”
“Arggh!” He closes the door, slumps against it and cards his fingers through his hair. As he contemplates closing for the day, he spots a little, copper card on his desk. It’s Barclay’s, which is what he expected, but when he flips it over there’s a message scribbled in pen.
Main St Hotel, room 503, here until Monday.
He pulls out his phone, tells Aubrey she’s allowed to get the crowd out by any means necessary except for fire, and elbows his way out into the winter air.
------------------------------------------
Barclay almost purrs when he peers through the peephole in the hotel door; Joseph, as his nametag read, is standing on the carpet, looking twice as handsome as he did yesterday. His cheeks are even a little pink, and Barclay has some thoughts on how to make that blush deepen.
“Hey, glad you found-”
Joseph holds up his phone, screen in Barclays face, “please fix this.”
“Oh fuck.” He ushers him in, “I’m so sorry, I thought they’d stopped doing this shit.”
“No, and they’re fucking up my inventory as a result.”
“On it, lemme text my assistant, she’s good at drafting these kind of messages.”
“Thank the lord. Right, thank you for that, I’ll go now.”
“Wait” Barclay reminds his instincts that blocking the door is rude, “do you wanna stay a few minutes? You look kinda stressed.”
“Because my store is being overrun!” Joseph snaps, then takes a deep breath and straightens his sleeves, “I’m sorry, that wasn’t called for, this morning has just been a mess. And it, um, it’s a little bittersweet to have people thinking I could land a hot chef when I can’t get past a first date with most people. Um, sorry. Too much information. That’s a bad habit of mine.”
Barclay tucks his hands into his pants pockets, “About that. Y’know how I left my card?”
Blue eyes blink, then brighten, “I thought that might be the reason but I dismissed it as wishful thinking.”
“Nope. A guy who's hot, nerdy, and competent enough to sneak me away from the paparazzi? Sign me the fuck up.”
“I’m not opposed to a, um, tryst, but I really, really need to get back to the store, I can’t abandon Aubrey to deal with this mess on her own, that’s not fair, and now we’ll have to reorder things too....” He laughs, a tense sound, “good lord, I get a chance to fuck a celebrity crush and I’m turning it down for work.”
“Hey” Barclay sets his hands on Joseph’s shoulders, “it’s okay. You’re not the first guy to be married to his job. But, uh, out of curiosity, you got any vacation days to spare?”
----------------------------------------------
“This is all yours?” Joseph takes in the sprawling farm as Barclay unlocks the front door of a charmingly rustic house.
“Yep, all the way to the creek and all the way to the road. Might surprise you, but I like my privacy.”
“I’d never have guessed.” He replies with faux shock.
“Smartass.” Barclay kisses his cheek, holds the door open with his shoulder so Joseph can pull his bags inside. He packed as light and efficiently as he could for two weeks away (he’d initially planned on one until Aubrey and Moira ganged up on him and told him he hadn’t taken a real vacation in years so he was taking one now, damn it) but his suitcase is still heavy as he rolls it to the stairs.
“I got that.” Barclay shoulders his own travel bag and hoists Joseph’s in the other hand, carrying them to the second floor like they’re nothing more than pillows.
The week the chef was in Madison, Joseph went to his hotel almost every night. Fell asleep in his bed more than once, when discussions of fusion cuisine or the Fresno Nightcrawler turned into frantic, heated kisses under the covers. It’s only when the cook drops all luggage into the master bedroom that the truth of why he’s on this trip sets in.
“You really invited me all the way here because you think I’m hot.”
“Yeah but no.” Barclay drapes his arms over his shoulders, lips still a little chilly as he kisses them, “brought you here because you’re smart” another kiss, this one on his jaw, “and funny” another, on his nose, “and you’re the biggest bigfoot fan I know.”
“You wrote a book on it!”
“Point stands. And yeah” he pushes Joseph back so he lands on the bed, crawling atop him as he growls, “I invited you here because you’re so hot I wanna pour sugar on you and see if it melts. Now get your pants off; I’ve been thinking about sucking your dick since we left the city.”
------------------------------------------
“How did the whole bigfoot thing start?” Joseph sips his Irish Coffee as Barclay puts his feet into his lap.
“Guess the same way any famous person ends up with two gigs; I was doing the thing I love, then was dicking around on cryptid hunter forums and found out I was also hella good at researching bigfoot. By the time I got really into it, I had enough cash that I could write my book without worrying about going broke. Helps that I’d handed off The Arch and The Lodge and was just the exec chef on them, since then I could travel if I needed to.”
Joseph nods, moves one hand down to rub Barclays foot; in spite of no longer working the kitchens of his five restaurants or having to test recipes for the books right now, he spent most of today on his feet making elaborate meals for two. Joseph teases him that he’s trying to stuff him to the point he can’t leave. Barclay always chuckles and says he doesn’t know how right he is. The last two days, Joseph then wraps his arms around his boyfriend and tells him he’d stay forever if he could.
He’s never thought of himself as romantic; he’s pragmatic, knows that relationships are things built out of time, trial, and error. But god help him, he’s fallen for Barclay like they’re rom-com leads with only ninety minutes to reach their happy ending.
They’re out near the creek--really more of a small river--the next morning, talking about books and speculating on the existence of life on other planets, when a storm sweeps through the trees. As trunks groan and roots pull loose from the snow, Barclay calls, “we better head back.”
He gives a thumbs up. Then the ice under him cracks.
He doesn’t correct course quickly enough, the rest dropping from under him and dunking him in freezing water. It’s deep, too deep to stand, but he’s a decent swimmer and kicks towards the surface. When the shadow covers the opening with a boom, panic threatens to push the rest of his precious breath away.
The tree that fell across the ice is heavy, and no matter how he pushes it won’t give. He bangs on the ice on either side, trying to get it to crack, but his lungs scream and his limbs alert him that the cold will soon shut them down.
He closes his eyes, trying to think, not ready to give up, not with Barclay so close. There’s a groan of wood and frozen water. His mouth opens without permission, desperate for air, and chokes him on frost instead.
-----------------------------------
“...be dead, please don’t be dead, please please please don’t be fucking dead.”
“Nnff.” That’s not what he meant to say, but it seems to calm the voice above him.
“Thank fuck. I’m so sorry, I got to you as fast as I could, do, do you need anything?” Barclay sounds exhausted.
“Cold.” He mutters.
“I’m trying to warm you up gradually, that’s what the first aid book said but, uh, here.” Warm, fuzzy arms draw him into a hug.
Wait.
The first thing he sees when his eyes flutter open are arms covered in reddish-brown fur. When Barclay rubs their cheeks together, it tickles more than his beard usually does.
“Barclay? What the hell is going on?”
“Uh. So.” He’s rolled with ease to face a creature he’s never seen and eyes that he’d know anywhere, “I’m bigfoot. Or, uh, a bigfoot. Maybe that’s kinda obvious now.”
His brain crackles to life, “What better way to stay undiscovered than get famous by giving people the wrong information about you.”
“Some of it’s true. Just not anything people could use to actually find me.”
“Smart, big guy” Joseph pets his face.
“You’re taking this pretty well.”
“I think my system is too shocked to experience more shock.” He shudders, “relatedly, how’d I get out of the river?”
“I lifted the tree off and pulled you free. Took my disguise off to do that and, uh, the fucking thing fell into the water when I got you. So I’m gonna be stuck like this until a friend of mine can get me a new one.”
“No complaints here. You look incredible.” He runs his hands up and down Barclay’s side and chest, warmth seeping into his fingers as he does, “But I’m a little surprised you were willing to risk someone seeing you or me blabbing to someone and trashing your whole life in the process.”
A low rumble as Barclay kisses his forehead, “It’s worth it. I, this is gonna sound so fucking cheesy, but I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time, and there was no way I was gonna lose you.”
“Oh.” Affection and surprise well up in his throat, pressing down his words so all he can do is nestle closer to the cryptid and let himself be loved.
His mind rebounds quickly from his misadventure. His body would like him to remember it for a while so he doesn’t put it in such jeopardy again any time soon. Instead of helping Barclay with cooking and chores, he lays under the covers while the storm rattles the roof and the cook clangs pots on the lower floor.
Barclay, attentive to a fault, is downright doting now that he’s stuck in bed. He’s never without a hot drink or something to read, and the cryptid is happy to answer the majority of his questions about the finer points of being bigfoot. When it’s bedtime, his boyfriend pulls him atop his massive frame and cuddles him, whispering over and over that he’s glad he’s okay, until they fall asleep.
Today followed much the same pattern, though when dinner time rolls around he gets a fantastic surprise.
“Chocolate fondue?” He peers hopefully at the bed tray in Barclays hands.
“Only the best for you, babe.” The cook sets the burnished wood down on the bedside table, “we lucked out, the berries I bought last week are ripe.”
Joseph reaches for the fork, but Barclay beats him to it.
“You should save your energy. Since you’re, uh, still recovering.”
He shrugs, sets his hands in his lap and opens his mouth for a chocolate dipped raspberry. It doesn’t take long to spy Barclay’s ulterior motive. The cook has a whole wardrobe designed to fit his cryptid form, but it’s having trouble concealing certain things.
“You’re getting off on this.”
“I, uh, I, maybe a little” Barclay blushes under his fur.
Joseph raises an eyebrow, tilts his head at the bulge in Barclay’s pants, “You call that ‘little’?”
A rumbly whine, the fork paused halfway to Joseph’s mouth, “I can’t help it. I’ve got a thing for taking care of partners, especially ones who are all competent and put-together the rest of the time, and you look so good when you eat and, ohfuck.”
Joseph inhales sharply as chocolate hits his exposed upper chest. It’s not hot enough to burn, and he moans as the sensation seeps across his skin. Barclays eyes, wide and ravenous, keep flicking between the splatter and his face.
“Looks like you made a mess, big guy.” Joseph begins undoing the remaining buttons on his pajamas, “you should clean it up.”
“Fuck yeah.” Barclay lunges, mouth first, lapping and sucking at the marked skin as Joseph laughs. Their shirts hit the floor together as he digs his nails into auburn fur. Barclay grunts at the pressure, sits up with a grin, and drips a line of chocolate down the right side of Joseph’s ribs.
“Oops. Better fix that too.”
“Cleanliness is importantAH, ahhnn.” He squirms a bit as Barclay nuzzles his stomach before dragging his tongue up his skin. There’ve been times he mourned the fact T didn’t make him as hairy as some other guys, but right now he’s grateful for the clear canvas Barclay can mark however he pleases.
“A mess can be more fun.” The cook licks his lips, sucks a hickey above his belly button, “and by the time I’m done with you, babe, won’t be a single part of you that isn’t one.”
“Then get to it.” He shoves his pants down, lets Barclay pull them the rest of the way off and fold them. He lays back, resting his arms behind his head, and moans as the cook drizzles chocolate on each hip. Joseph feels like a gourmet dessert and, from the growls between his thighs, Barclay intends to treat him like one.
His boyfriend is always enthusiastic when sucking him off, but tonight he throws finesse out the window in favor of burying his face at the crease of each thigh in turn, licking his hips clean while clawing at his calves and sides. He lifts his head, wipes his mouth with a satisfied grin that shows the points of his teeth, and dives down again.
Joseph yelps with pleasure, the hint of fangs hitting all his buttons, lighting him up like downtown on a dark night. It’s intense, the scratch of fur on skin just different enough from the usual beard to remind him of who’s down there, and his legs try to kick closed. Barclay growls again, holding them open with ease.
“Not until I’m done with you, babe.”
He surrenders to flood of feelings from both outside and within him, Barclay’s sheer delight at his body rendering all his doubts and worries toothless and small, quieting them until all he can think about is incredible creature holding and all he can say is some variation on-
“Barclay, please, right there, lordalmighty that’s good, that’s so good big guy, please.” He squeezes his eyes shut, craving the impending orgasm more than he has words for. Barclay sucks determinedly and huffs, pleased, as Joseph's thighs tense in his hold and his climax chases away the remnants of yesterday's aches.
As his brain insists that really, body, opening our eyes isn’t that hard, there’s a metallic zip and strong legs bracketing his thighs.
“Here I thought you couldn’t look any better.” He murmurs as Barclay gleefully strokes his cock, “as soon as my brain works again, I’m coming up with so many ways to use that gorgeous thing.”
“Can’t, fuck, can't wait to hear ‘em, but I only got one for tonight; I’m gonna use it to cum alllll over that fucking perfect body, fuck, Joseph, you look so good when you’re ruined, fuck.” An impressive amount of cum spatters up his stomach, chest, and neck as Barclay howlgrowlpurrs and then sets his hands carefully on the bed.
Joseph’s whole body is sticky with chocolate, sweat, and cum, and Barclay definitely has at least two of those things mussed into his fur.
“You’re right, big guy, a mess can be fucking amazing.”
That being said, being sticky gets old quick, and soon they’re in the tub, Joseph whistling as he shampoos Barclay’s chest. The cryptid hasn’t stopped purring, and every time he looks Joseph’s way the sound deepens.
“When are you next in the city?”
The cook yawns, “Was gonna check on how the new chef de cuisine is getting on at Kepler in about two week.”
“Would you like to stay with me? It’s not fancy, but it’s close to the Ismuth, so you can get to Kepler on foot without trouble, and there are fewer crowds there this time of year. I suspect paparazzi are also less likely to track you down at some random house than at a hotel. That might make up for my lack of, um, high class amenities.”
“Good point. But I gotta be honest babe; as long as you’re there, that’s all I need to be happy.”
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