#maybe not as complex as others but he still has layers

[xinamie]

— kung lao thoughts !

just saw someone on another platform say that kung lao is not complex and lemme just. ok hold on. he's more than a cocky, food loving man.

i'm gonna focus on mk1 for now, but hear me outtttt !!! mk1 story spoilers ahead, you've been warned!

kung lao, a humble farmer, who is the descendant of the Great kung lao (lord liu kang's champion in the past iirc and like they were CLOSE bcs remember the scene with the jade statue? anyway off topic).

of course with family honor like that, lao would have this confidence, this arrogance, this ego that everyone groans about. he has this reputation to uphold - this legacy. he wants to be as great as his ancestor!

in the beginning, you find out that he isn't satisfied with the farm life like raiden is. he's the first to jump and react when liu kang tells them all about earthrealm after the test with the lin kuei. he craves adventure, glory, and a sense of just ... achievement.

he loses the title of champion to raiden, but sucks it up and congratulates him. he supports him along the way - bragging about raiden to general shao and cheering for raiden through the outworld matches. even if he was upset that he wasn't the chosen one (re: liu kang hitting him with that one line 'if you trained harder, you would have been champion' LIKE OW DAMN ok) - he still honors raiden and accepts the outcome.

let's talk about his story ending, kung lao messed up with shujinko! shujinko went haywire and it was because he didn't learn humility because kung lao couldn't teach it to him!! lao had always been so confident that he didn't put that into lessons for his student which led to liu kang and raiden stepping in. in this moment, i like to believe that lao learns how important humility is. not through himself directly, but seeing what had happened to shujinko.

omg what about the funny little lines about acting? how johnny offered them movie roles in the end and when raiden politely declined, lao whined. maybe he's intrigued about being able to work on a movie, to get out there and experience the world than just that farm life he knew.

kung lao didn't get to be champion, but he was able to go on missions in outworld and i like to think that he thrived. he got a taste of that adventure, that journey, you know?

kung lao is playful - those lines about wanting to spook raiden's sister with syzoth or how he whined to kuai liang(? i think or tomas?) about how he wanted to test raiden's sister too. how he flashed johnny with the flashlight LMAO. how he gets scolded by madam bo for making excuses sometimes.

LASTLY and also something i think people forget here and there, kung lao is ALSO respectful to some degrees omg. remember when johnny pulled that ripley line and kung lao was like bro??? that plus how he stood up for raiden as mentioned before, he literally becomes a shaolin master ... he may not be a saint, but i don't think he'd be treating people horribly or the type to be flirty every single time.

all in all, there are many sides to kung lao and i think there's a lot to be explored here. i'm down for the silly fandom lao moments, but also serious lao, conflicted lao, focused lao, etc etc. he's a champion to me.

[actuallysaiyan]

The First Time(Aka How Nanami Kento Lost His Virginity)Chapter Eight: Nevermind The Trailers, Here's The Main Event

warnings: smut, vaginal fingering, kissing, sending nudes through text, love confessions, semi-public fingering pairings: Emo!Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader summary: the two of you are navigating the waters after your last encounter. Nanami surprises you during a date and it ends with the two of you officially cementing what this relationship means for the two of you. a/n: HERE IT IS! The next chapter! We have love confessions and then some! More to come sooner than later, I promise!

taglist: @cherryblossombankai @kenpachisbrat @benkeibear @harlekin6

@brokennerdalert @marikuchanxo @gennaray

@sugurusprettygirl @hazzelle-kento @pixelcafe-network

Masterlist

The following weeks sees you and Kento spending almost every waking moment together. It’s known on campus that you two are the cutest couple ever. Most girls watch you in awe as you have the most romantic man charming you every time he’s around you. Even the girls who caused you problems during the party seem to be jealous.

On Kento’s side of things, not only does he feel more confident with your relationship being more stable, he also feels like things are looking up for him for the first time in so long. The thoughts of returning to the sorcerer world are pushed aside for the daydreams of a future with you. He fantasizes about maybe having a family with you once you’re both done with school.

Things couldn’t get any better, really. And now that you two were both comfortable in your positions at school and with each other, it was only going to get better from there.

Kento spends a lot of time with you in your dorm. He’s happy to shower you in affection. He’s so much more layered and complex than you previously could have imagined. He shows you parts of himself that even he keeps tucked away from himself. He’s honest and kind, always wanting to talk to you about all kinds of things. 

The only thing that sort of lingers between the two of you is his virginity. You know you’d love to go that far with him, but you still want to tread comfortably. You two have just gotten together for real recently and to push the subject could make him uncomfortable. So you decided to just continue the way it’s been going and see where things go.

For the first time, Kento is now debating on whether or not to send you a nude. He’s got picture messaging on his phone and you two have been official for a few weeks now with nothing else going on. He wants to show you that he is, in fact, still interested in pursuing something sexual with you as well as romantic.

He’s pacing around in his room. Over the summer, he regained a bit of muscle mass. He had been going to the gym regularly to occupy his time. So he knows he doesn’t look bad. It’s just…how do you even take a good picture to send as a nude?

He groans as he tries different angles, but he thinks he looks stupid in every single one of them. After about twenty deleted pictures, he throws himself on his bed and whines. It’s frustrating to try and be sexy. He knows he doesn’t have to try too hard, but he wants to. He wants to look good for you.

Then he decides to take a shower. Once he’s got his clothes off and the bathroom is nice and steamy, Kento realizes just how perfect this set up is. Finally, he grabs his phone and snaps a picture of him with his shirt off and his cock in his hand. Looking at it, he finds himself actually impressed.

Your phone vibrates as you sit in your dorm studying. You smile when you realize it’s a text from your boyfriend. When you open it, your eyes widen. You don’t know that you’ve ever seen Kento so confident as he looks in this picture. 

The thought of him taking this photo for you has you really riled up. You settle on your bed, your studies forgotten for the moment. You push your pants down and tease yourself through your panties. With your free hand, you snap a picture of your panties pushed to the side and your slick dribbling down your thighs.

Miss you.

He sees the message before going into the shower, and he gets even more confident. He strokes his cock a few times, squeezing the head gently to make some precum pearl at the tip. Then he sends you a picture of that.

See you soon, beautiful.

The next time you two see each other, you’re both blushing. It’s a shared secret. Something that only the two of you understand. And it makes you feel even closer together. Soon, he’s talking about taking you out on a date over the weekend.

He meets you in the parking lot outside the dorms. You look so adorable, dressed in a plaid skirt and a band t-shirt. His eyes widen and he smiles when he notices it’s the shirt he forgot in your dorm one time. You grab his hand and the two of you start walking towards the movie theatre.

“I’m really excited for this,” you say softly.

“Me too. It’s been a while.”

Ever the gentleman, Nanami pays for the tickets, the snacks and he carries everything to your seats. It’s in the very back of the theatre. It’s nice to have these dates. It reminds you of why you really fell for the guy in the first place. He shows you his charming side, when everyone sees just this brooding, moody emo kid.

The trailers begin and the sound is booming as the screen shows you previews for a romcom first. You both laugh at how cheesy it is, but it still seems funny enough for the two of you to wonder if you’d like to come see it. The next trailer is a gory slasher flick, which piques both of your interests. Following that are some ads for some bank, the snacks at the concession stand and then there’s one last trailer for a historical piece before your movie starts.

At first, the movie was very captivating. You and Kento can’t look away, even as you munch on some hot, buttery popcorn and sweet chocolate. Then halfway through, the movie shows its true colors and you realize that it’s going to be very disappointing. You whine and rest your head on his shoulder, and Kento chuckles at just how cute you’re being right now.

One thing leads to another, and you kiss him. He kisses you back, letting you take the lead on this for the time being. He’s not wanting to press things, considering you’re in a movie theatre and getting caught would really suck if you wanted to return for another date.

But the thought of you teasing yourself in those panties when you sent that nude has his blood boiling. It’s been a few weeks since the two of you had any kind of intimacy. He’s growing hard with every little kiss you give him. It’s almost like you’re trying to tease him on purpose.

He looks at you slyly as he pushes your skirt up just a bit. Then you bite your lip to hold in your moan as he begins to rub your clit through your panties. You were wearing silky ones this time, just to spice things up for your date.

The gasp you let out when he pushes them aside and parts your folds has him chuckling. You glare at him, but you’re spreading your thighs even more. He’s so much more confident now than he’s ever been. You remember the first time you two kissed, and how he was such a needy guy back then. Now Kento was calling the shots and you were loving it.

“Try to be quiet, baby.” He whispers in your ear before kissing your neck.

Two of his fingers slip into you, making you let out such a cute little moan. Thankfully the theatre is nearly empty and you’re sitting far away from everyone else. Kento begins to thrust his fingers into you, curling them against your sweet spot. His cock is throbbing but that’s not what’s important here. What’s important is that you see stars.

His thumb rubs your clit in time with his slow and meticulous movements. Every second is agonizingly pleasurable. Your eyes roll back in your head and you begin to hump his hand. It feels like so long since you were able to get off on his long fingers. Kento smirks when he sees just how needy you are right now. You’re just a mess, dripping all over his fingers.

“Cum for me,” he whispers before capturing your lips in a sensual kiss.

He keeps your moans muffled as your walls begin to pulse around his digits. Kento keeps kissing you, drawing out every little bit of pleasure from you. Then slowly, he pulls out of you and brings his fingers to his lips to lick them clean. You pant as you try to catch your breath. You’ve got a few minutes to clean yourself up and straighten up before the credits begin rolling.

He grabs your hand and guides you out of the theatre. The night air feels so good on your sweaty skin. You feel so giddy. Your heart is racing and your tummy is still full of butterflies. You kiss him over and over, and he smiles sweetly.

“Be mine,” you say. “Be my boyfriend.”

He blushes. “I…I would love to.”

You grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him so deeply. Kento wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. You’re both tucked away on the side of the entrance, away from the rest of the world. The rest of the world could disappear and none of that would even matter to you and him.

“I love you,” he finally says once more. 

You smile. “I love you too. I have for a long while now.”

It feels so good to finally say those words out loud with the person you love. It’s so natural, but it feels like this explosion of emotions has gone off inside of you. You feel like you’re shaking, and Kento feels similarly. He can’t quite wipe the stupid grin off his face.

“I want you,” he whispers in your ear. “Want you to be the one who takes my virginity.”

This makes your heart skip a beat. The words sound so sensual, even though he hasn’t really said anything dirty. You look up into his eyes and you notice just how dark they are. He looks very serious too, like he didn’t just ask you to be the first person to fuck him.

“...I want you too. Whatever you want, you can have that with me.”

He kisses you again, this time it’s a lingering kiss. His thumbs caress your cheekbones. He holds you close to him, like you are the only thing in this world that has any kind of meaning to him.

“I will always love you.”

The words feel warm inside of you. They make a warmth blossom so deep inside and it’s visible on your face. Kento smiles now too, loving the way you look at him like he is the only man who could ever make you smile.

“I will always love you too.”

With your fingers intertwined, Kento walks you home under the twinkling stars.

[demonic0angel]

Dan being forced to go to anger management therapy hosted by Harley Quinn.

(I refuse to believe that Dan would be forced into anything, so this is a Dan in Arkham AU lmao)

Wraith huffed angrily. “And that’s why he deserves pain and suffering.”

Harley stared at him in fascination, tapping a finger on her lips. It had been weeks after their breakout from Arkham, and Wraith was quickly becoming a good friend of the Sirens. It had reached a point where now, he was spilling his secrets over a glass of wine (stolen from a Bruce Wayne-endorsed party), about a boy he used to be and the timeline he came from.

It wasn’t the weirdest thing ever, since this was Gotham after all, but it was still both disturbing and thralling.

Harley could not help but stare as Wraith grumbled to himself, blue eyes flashing crimson and sharp fangs being bared in a snarl. Then she asked, “Did your sister ever say anything about this?”

Wraith huffed and swirled his wine lightly. “She said it’s a form of self-hatred. Because I blame myself for our family’s deaths, I blame Danny too. But I don’t care. We are the same person but we are not the same. He is still human, while I have transcended past mankind to be something greater.” His fingers clenched on the stem of the wine glass. “It’s not fair how he gets to be happy, but I can’t.”

A god complex, a superiority complex, and an inferiority complex, all born from the loss of family and self-identity. His psyche was absolutely damaged by his previous experiences, and trauma had made him into something very, very twisted. It was probably true that he was not human anymore, but it was so interesting how he had abandoned his humanity so thoroughly and thrown it aside.

“You can’t?” Harley asked. “Or you won’t?”

Wraith’s expression twisted. “I can’t.”

That didn’t seem right.

He was happy when eating red meat and drinking expensive wine. He was rather happy when they went shopping and included him in their jokes and games. He was plenty happy when he talked about his sisters. He was very happy when interacting with Nightwing, who seemed to effortlessly peel away his layers to reveal a playful, gentle personality that did not seem to be a facade.

“You seem happy around Nightwing,” Harley said. “And us. What do you think of that?”

Wraith glared at her lightly, but he didn’t seem angry, not like how he was when he talked about his little brother, his other self. The venom in his voice and eyes when he talked about his younger self would’ve been better deserved if he was talking about the Anti-Christ, but Harley didn’t voice this.

“Nightwing has the purest soul in this world. It’s strong and beautiful because of how kind it is. It should be a crime to be cruel to it, not when he’s so… good.” His expression gentled and he swirled his wine again before taking a sip. “And you and the others are… nice to me. I don’t want to spoil your fun.”

Harley beamed. “Aww, we like you too, Wraith-y poo!”

Wraith rolled his eyes and took another sip. Harley poured him some more without him asking, and they drank their wine in silence.

Eventually, Harley said, “It’s not healthy to hate yourself so much, y’know? Maybe you don’t want advice, but I think your sister would agree with me. You should let go of the past and live in the present. That timeline doesn’t exist anymore, does it?”

Wraith scowled. “It may not exist anymore, but I came from that timeline. I am who I am because of my family’s deaths and because of Danny.” The hatred in his voice was deep and potent, making Harley shiver. “It can never let me go and I can never let it go either. The past shaped me in ways that cannot be undone.”

Harley took a sip of wine to think. Then she said, “Well. No matter what, me and the girls are here for you. And I think Nightwing really likes you too! Really!”

Wraith hummed, eyes half lidded before he turned and looked at her with a quirk to his lips like a small, genuine smile. “Yes, I know. Thank you, Harley.”

She grinned. “No problem!”

They continued drinking together in companionable silence.

[revelboo]

Any updates on swerve and his human? :0

Sure!

Lose Control Pt 5

Swerve x Reader

• “You good over there?” He asks, head turning to find the shape of you curled up in your little nest of blankets near his side. Brightening his visor slightly when you lift your head. “Cause I can hear your teeth chattering.” Knows you’re cold. That humans run colder than Cybertronians. Remembers a couple of the others mentioning it. And Megatron gruffly confessing to nearly rolling and dumping his human off the first time they’d climbed on him to sprawl on his chassis seeking the heat of his frame while he was recharging.

• “It’s freezing in here,” you mumble, already wrapped in layers of blankets and still shivering nonstop. He’d explained that this was the optimum temperature for Cybertronians, that they ran hot, but you’re miserable. And to make it worse, you know he’s warm and it’s only your dignity keeping you from curling up against him. Going still when one of his arms lifts and comes down on the other side of you. Know he’s not going to hurt you, but every time he unexpectedly reaches for you, it sends a shiver of unease through you. It’s just his size, that he’s bigger than you, but you hate it. Because his smile falters whenever he notices you doing it. So gently, he slides his arm and pushes you and your blankets closer until you’re tucked between his side and his arm. And he’s so warm. “Thank you.”

• “Promise I won’t bite,” he murmurs, aware of you shifting around to get comfortable again. Of the adorable way you softly exhale once you’re settled there against him. It’s a small step toward building trust. To coaxing you closer. Maybe eventually you’ll feel comfortable enough to stretch out on him and sleep on his chassis. Maybe you won’t tense when he reaches for you like you think he’s going to hurt you even though he never has. Gets it. He’s bigger and as alien to you as you are to him. And you lay a little hand on his side, fingers brushing his biolights to make them flare and to make him shudder.

• “Do these have a purpose?” You ask, tracing the shape of the glow as it lazily pulses in time with the thrumming that comes from him, the pulses so subtle you almost don’t notice them at first. “Or are they just an aesthetic thing?” Hear him make a noise, venting air sharply and you suspect he’s trying to not laugh at you. “They’re pretty.”

• “They might have had a purpose originally, but I suppose they’re mostly for show now.” He manages, painfully aware of your soft fingers sliding against him. That you don’t know that you’re unwittingly flirting with him, that touching or complimenting biolights is usually a precursor to interfacing. Or at least an indication of interest. “The higher castes had the brighter lights, the more complex patterns.” And in comparison with some, his are dull. Lackluster and unlikely to draw anyone’s optic. But you’re looking. Even though he knows you don’t think of him like that. And he’s okay with that. You’re too different and he’s just glad to have someone to talk to. Someone to give him a reason to take care of himself. To care about his own well-being, because you’re dependent on him. And that’s enough. Really. Wanting anything more, daring to hope for more just feels greedy and he’s all too familiar with disappointment.

Previous

Next

[halfbaked00q]

thinking about, like... the exploration of James Bond × the tangled messy web of complications he'd pick up around sex given like past relationships and also the inherently fucky sexual politics of honeypot missions and etc.

it's like. when your body is as much a tool in your aresenal as any of your skills so you're able to handle/tolerate/work through levels of what, in another context, may be considered personal violations, that would be overwhelming to untrained civvies-- but at the same time that very training that gives you some level of divide/partition/insulation from said trespasses on your person, also rather inherently creates bifurcations in your autonomy which then conversely and maybe ironically, still unavoidably act as violations against your personhood

the interesting added layer to that is to go deeper into exploring how honeypotting is/can be inherently traumatic not just to the victim but also the perpetrator, and the resulting psychological effects on the honeypotting agent

anyway here are some fics that I either reread recently, or I remember noting about, that go into these topics

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Further Reading / Web-Weaving / "You May Also Like":

This fic imo does a great job of exploring/interweaving PTSD through the narration in an organic-feeling, believable, and very visceral way. Towards the end-ish of the currently available chaps there's a section where Bond is thinking about sex and like doomspiraling cuz he's assuming what Q would want and having a crisis about it because he's like, I can't provide that without panicking or dissociating - which I find suuuuuper interesting and complex, and it's especially interesting to have this level of exploration on the subject from Bond's POV.

the specific aspect I find really interesting about this is the way I can see this Bond as becoming, like.... desensitized? in a sense, to sex, on a more emotional level, but also how it becomes even in general sort of a trauma in itself, with his concerns about either reacting violently to a trigger, or dissociating during the act and how he worries if that happens that Q will find it hollow and falling short.

the dissociating bit really sticks out to me because it reminds me of an anecdote my high school psych teacher told about a friend of hers who through therapy realized that she was dissociating during sex with her husband and like mentally taking a walk down.. some sidewalk or other, but basically I can't remember if any other fic had this like, aspect of explicitly mentioning dissociating (others do talk about like him going a bit dead-eyed when putting on his TM Seduction act which is like adjacent to this, but not like specifically from inside Bond's head reflecting on this specific type of trauma response)

---

Has this banger section that, like, puts the *points above* into words from a third party's POV:

“Part of what makes it work -- with Scar and me -- is that I have no expectations on that front, so she doesn’t have to... perform. It’s second nature to them, to figure out what you want and give it to you…” The pause was horrible, and her expression deeply sad. “Whether it’s what they want or not.” Q felt a little sick. People sometimes joked about the honeypot missions, calling them ‘plush’ or talking as though they were somehow easier. Q had never really thought about it, except to think that it wouldn’t be easy for him. But now…

---

the warmth of your doorways:

has whole sections of James reflecting introspectively on honeypot missions. also has the added spicy layer of James being tapped to train/guide the guy who is meant to replace him for honeypot missions, and the added turbulance of all that (this fic also has a lot going for it on other levels that I enjoy a lot- this post us just specifically about JB × his fucked up sex politics stuff)

---

Bond and Q talk about sex stuff and Q is horrified to realize how bad Bond's training for honeypotting male targets was, which eventually leads to them talking about sexualuties, which leads to Q introducing Bond to the Kinsey scale lmao, and etc. also this banger from the author in the comments:

Craig has this one facial expression that makes me think, as Q put it in my fic, like Bond's soul has wandered off and left him behind. We see it occasionally when he's laying in wait to kill but most commonly when he's seducing a female mark. The best example of the face I mean is when he's seducing the widow in Spectre. It's a little dispassionate, a lot distant and it really makes me think very hard about what that means. To me, that facial expression makes me think perhaps Bond has a certain distance from his own actions. His body belongs to England, he is Her weapon and he will do as She needs.

[the-bi-space-ace]

Writing Echo & the effects of Skako Minor

Discussions of trauma, CPTSD, and PTSD.

This will be a lot of personal opinion so take it with a grain of salt but I wanted to touch on writing Echo as someone who has CPTSD. Personally, I think after what he experienced on Skako Minor Echo would have CPTSD. The very basic thing you need to know is that PTSD and CPTSD are two different things. Symptoms overlap, they often get lumped together, but there are differences. From what I have learned from therapy and doctors PTSD happens from a single traumatizing event. Something happened, an accident, violence, etc. and it has stuck with you. CPTSD occurs when someone has multiple traumatizing events throughout their life that all compound. So if you grew up in an abusive household, experienced outside violence, and had several life altering events, that would be the perfect breeding ground for CPTSD. It is not one event. CPTSD comes from the fact that it is multiple things on top of each other, all working together to make your PTSD complex in nature since it comes from a web of things instead of one event.

After Skako I think Echo would suffer from CPTSD mainly because he has experienced several traumatizing events over and over again. The explosion, being tortured, being experimented on over and over again, and finding out he has been used as a weapon, along with his injuries sustained in the battle of Anaxes all compile together. This is what I base this off of.

With that in mind I wanted to talk a little bit about some symptoms and how this could translate to Echo as a character.

One can experience shaking (imagine Crosshair early season 3), paranoia, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping. I have seen Echo portrayed often with nightmares, which I think is a great route to go, however I want to offer up other ways you can show his difficulty living with CPTSD. Physical symptoms are one thing and definitely make life more difficult but what about the mental ones?

One challenge can be constantly feeling like the other shoe is going to drop. There can be waves of feeling okay and stable and then other periods of constant vigilance and anxiety. When things are good you could think ‘how much longer until it is all gone? How long do I deserve safety and happiness?’ These fears are often completely unrealistic but your brain cannot determine that in the moment.

I think Echo could struggle with this. I want to imagine that this is part (not all) of the reason he wants to badly to do more and part of why he does not really want to retire. He doesn’t understand safety anymore. He’s still more comfortable in chaos and vigilance. Safety would likely feel unsafe to him. At least, for a while. Truthfully, survivors guilt and his own loyalty and personality are all wrapped up in there too but imagine if there was another layer.

What if he is clinging so desperately to helping because tomorrow he could be swept away again. Or he won’t be able to save anyone. Or somehow Tambor will catch up with him. Or maybe, just maybe, he becomes the algorithm again. He snaps right back into it mid mission. He’s taken over and can’t be saved. He attacks his loved ones. He can’t help it. He could hurt them. What if he hurts them! Safety may frighten him so deeply he can’t even begin to think about it. His brain won’t let him. It won’t let him cling to that thought because it can’t be real it will be danger. It has to be.

It doesn’t have to be rational because CPTSD is not rational. Your brain and body are trying to protect you. It has learned that you are in danger and it is not comfortable with safety anymore. It will protect you even if you are perfectly safe. Even if that means telling you lies.

And none of this makes him weak. He’s confident in his skills, he’s a force to be reckoned with. He’s lethal and loyal and kind hearted and not at all weak. His strength and compassion are things to look up to. I love Echo. He’s dedicated to saving his loved ones, he’s been through so much, and he has never ever given up despite the challenges. I think he is wonderful and such a rich character for storytelling. It certainly isn’t necessary to include this when writing Echo but if you’re looking for other ways for his trauma to manifest this may be an interesting route to explore.

have the best gif of Echo ever as a treat for reading this far

[luv-lock]

Will Jason in Jaybird ever become mentally healthy? Because, I know that Jason is a victim and that this is dark fic series. But, I do wonder in the small bits of sanity he has, if he will ever regret it.

Tho, loving the story, and do wonder if you received a previous asked of mine, cuz my internet was fucky on the last ask.

Sorry love I didn't got your previous ask. But it's ok I'm going to answer your question and well if you guys want to know anything about the story just ask, I will gladly answer.

Anyway let's dip in. First of all I had plan to start a new series about what will happen afterwards. So yeah I will explain more there but here's a shortcut:

Jason’s mental health in Jaybird is a complex thread that runs through the entire story. On one hand, he’s a victim—a deeply traumatized individual shaped by his death, his resurrection, and everything in between. On the other, his choices in the story are his own, steeped in anger, pain, and an obsessive love that he can’t seem to escape.

So, will Jason ever become mentally healthy? Probably not fully—not in the way we typically imagine. But that’s not to say there’s no hope for growth. Even in the darkest corners of his mind, Jason has moments of clarity, bits of humanity that shine through. Those moments are crucial because they show he’s capable of change, even if he’s not ready to embrace it yet.

Does he regret what he’s done? Absolutely, but it’s layered. It’s not just guilt; it’s this deep, gnawing realization that he’s not the boy she used to share candy with on the balcony. He’s become something he doesn’t recognize—and worse, he’s hurt someone he loves. But regret doesn’t equal redemption. Regret is passive, and Jason’s journey is anything but passive. He’s constantly wrestling with his pain, his anger, and the tiny sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he can be better—not for himself, but for her.

When the story moves forward, their relationship shifts too. It’s quieter, more strained. They don’t immediately go back to what they had, and maybe they never will. There’s a lot of avoidance, a lot of hesitance, but there’s also this undeniable pull between them. They can’t stay away, even when they know they should. It’s toxic, yes, but it’s also deeply human.

Jason calls her “Doc” now, and she still calls him “Jaybird.” Those little things matter—they’re pieces of the past that neither of them can let go of. They argue, they push each other away, but at the end of the day, they find themselves back in the same orbit. It’s messy, it’s painful, but it’s also real. And in those quiet moments, when they’re sitting on a balcony sharing a cigarette instead of candy, there’s a sense that maybe, in some small way, they’re healing—not perfectly, not completely, but enough to keep going.

[asarigg]

About: Part 3

DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. PATH TO HEALING: part 3

Overall, I think they’ve dealt with the process and development of Koujaku’s trauma and healing in a pretty decent, kind and nice way, which is exactly what he needed. Koujaku kept everything to himself, locked in a cage where he was alone, immersed in agony and loneliness, without counting on anyone and simply ignoring his fears and traumas hoping that with time they would heal. But the path to healing is not achieved with time alone. Facing his traumas is not comfortable, it doesn’t feel secure, it doesn’t give him peace, he can only see his still bleeding wounds, and a reflection in the mirror of a body marked for life. He acts as if they’re not there, maybe thinking that the wounds will scar by hiding them under a layer of optimism, he gets used to living with the pain and makes it stand in the background, but it doesn’t disappear.

The healing process is complex, continuous, and nonlinear. When you think you’re getting better, in a few seconds you can fall back into that pit of darkness and pessimism. The solution is neither simple nor immediate. Being honest about your struggle and your vulnerabilities is important, so is the support you give and receive from others, facing and working through your pain instead of resigning yourself to living with open wounds. The shield that Koujaku used when interacting with his family no longer works because he’s no longer in the same situation, but that is how he has become accustomed to living and he continues to use the same cover, without breaking the cycle.

It’s only once Koujaku opens up, maybe not completely but it’s a first step, about his past and the reasons why he was so distant that things start to go better. Aoba could have forced it out with Scrap, yeah, but that’s not how he wants to do things, he wants it to truly be Koujaku’s will. When Aoba scraps him, it’s impossible to fail if you don’t do it on purpose because it’s so simple, because it’s when he’s letting Aoba into his world that he feels confident about what he has to say to help him. If he doesn’t let himself be loved, supported by other people and continues to insist on doing things alone, pushing Aoba away from him believing it was the best choice, that’s when Aoba feels so distant from him that he doesn’t know if he really knows him, he doesn’t know what to say anymore. Only then you can fail.

It’s probably more confusing in Japanese considering kanji and that they can be read very differently, specially if it’s mixed with a bunch of other kanji like it happens when you choose the “wrong” options, but still. If you payed attention, you know what you have to say.

What’s great about this is that things don’t get better just like that, things aren’t fixed with magic or quick and simple solutions, and they show you, they don’t skip that and pretend it happens off screen. Scrap almost feels like it doesn’t really do anything, we’ve already seen that it doesn’t affect that much whether Koujaku turns into a beast or not, that’s up to him. The only thing Scrap does is somehow carve Aoba’s words into his mind so that he never forgets that Aoba will be there for him, whenever he needs to talk, giving him the security he didn’t have before. (Althought this is partial, and you’ll see why. The thing is that, obviously, what Aoba says is important for everyone’s scrap, but they’re very different interactions, and the moment you can choose good or bad ending varies with each character. And with Koujaku it’s literally just words, words that Aoba had already said to him five seconds before that. So these two things, it being something he already says, and something that only solves the problem partially, is why it gives this sensation of that you’re really not doing anything, it’s nothing that only Scrap can solve, I don’t know if I’m making myself clear) It “destroys” the Koujaku who held himself back, who was caged and afraid to face his tattoos. He doesn’t even try to convince him that it was not his fault, because he knows that Koujaku won’t accept that because of the way he is and would probably not be helpful, he’ll never stop blaming himself. It’s an idea so rooted into the depths of his mind that maybe not even Scrap can change that, so instead he changes his speech to something that encourages Koujaku to think about the people around him that care about him, about making up for the lives he forcefully took instead of making everyone around him suffer with his death and live a meaningful life, by Aoba’s side. In Buddhism, in order to help someone it’s believed it’s better to have a flexible mind and change your approach depending on what suits the other person’s needs. Many times Buddha statues take different forms than the classic and original, they’re adapting to the needs of the person they’re guiding.

In Re:connect when Aoba wants to wash Koujaku’s back is when he gets uncomfortable, because he’s hyper-aware of his tattoo. Of course, Aoba is aware too. He doesn’t know how much he should push on his wounds to help him vent and face them because he understands that’s something that ultimately has to come out of Koujaku, he knows that forcing things or insisting would have a rather negative result. He only pushes a little, enough for Koujaku to notice he’s there, but not so much to suffocate him, risking him closing the doors again. He wishes he could erase them by washing them, if he keeps going maybe it would work, but of course that’s just a fantasy.

Aoba mentions that if Koujaku wants to act like those scars aren’t there, he’ll do that too, but his feelings are overwhelming and bloom, and without giving it a second thought he can’t help but impulsively kiss his tattoo and scars, acknowledging them as a part of Koujaku and a sign of his persistence and his strength to stay alive and trying to give them a positive meaning, so that when Koujaku remembers them, he thinks of his kisses and his caresses rather than the pain they’ve brought him. He whispers “I love you”, but he doesn’t seem to be even saying that for Koujaku to hear, maybe a whisper to himself, as if his demonstration of love, told directly over his tattoo, could penetrate his skin, like the ink once did, and erase it. 

And for now it seems that all Koujaku wants to do is comfort Aoba when he’s about to cry, but not acknowledge his tattoos and scars himself.

But it’s later in bed when they are relaxed and Koujaku is reflecting that he finally decides to talk about his tattoos and express what he feels, out of his own free will. And how those tattoos represent his guilt, his shame, his greatest vulnerability, it’s extremely difficult and he feels that a part of him doesn’t want Aoba to touch them because it would be like dirtying him, but another part of him, the one that is recovering, does want him to touch them, because it’s part of the process, he wants to be open with Aoba, he wants him to know the truth and he wants to let himself be vulnerable in front of him. He wants to feel the affection he was neglected of, he wants to heal, he wants to change, he wants to hope.

When the haircut happens, and the cherry blossom symbolism accompanies them, such a major change in their life for me that is representative of a much bigger life commitment, tied to marriage. Aoba is practically living with Koujaku, so for me this day also symbolically marks an engagement, or even the marriage itself. It’s funny that they have such a direct confession scene, because a lot of these things happen without really saying anything, but rather showing them. Saying or making gestures that could be literally referring to something different but are constructed in a way that seems like a marriage proposal, or promising to each other.

Btw I love Koujaku’s obsession with his visible neck. Apparently women started to pull the neck of their kimono back in order to experiment with some glue on their hairstyles and it has stayed a thing ever since, especially noticeable with Geisha/Geiko. There’s always a hint of eroticism and beauty to it and of course it’s Koujaku’s brainrot, bet he salivates wanting to bite it.

[adinfernumadinfinitum]

Welcome to my silly little fan theory @emmg:

How Raphael is the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3…

…or how I give him more importance than I should.

DISCLAIMER:

In this ‘dissertation,’ I present my take on things based on Dungeons and Dragons 5e lore from the Forgotten Realms universe, along with fandom theories and headcanons where they suit me. This is NOT an in-depth analysis of anything, so I won’t be reciting specific quotes, etc.

I repeat, this is just MY take on things. If a similar theory already exists, feel free to reach out, and I’ll gladly tag the material!

Oh, and there are a lot of spoilers about, well, everything, so read at your own risk ⚠️

I thank the lovely @bitethedevil for allowing me to tag their posts, making it easier on me so I don’t have to write everything out! I also want to take this moment to appreciate their work and contributions to this fandom! ☺️

Introduction

Baldur’s Gate 3 is a brilliant, complex, multi-layered game filled with multiple villains, heroic figures, and a plot that weaves players in seamlessly. That’s why we love this game—at least, that’s why I do—the gripping storyline and its faceted characters.

The game is set in the Forgotten Realms with DnD lore and rules, while still adding and maintaining its own unique features and twists.

But what if we entirely take a look at it from DnD lore perspective?

Section 1: Raphael as the core character in Baldur’s Gate 3

Fans of the Emperor might argue with me here, but oh man, have you seen how many pies Raphael has his fingers in?

This narcissistic little shit of a cambion plotted his grand design to take the Crown of Karsus for over 2,000 years, planning everything with terrifying precision and putting in a staggering amount of effort—all to manipulate Tav or Durge into giving him the crown.

To understand just how far back his scheming goes, we have to start with the fall of Netheril. As Raphael himself tells us, this is where it all began, and when his father seized the crown, it became impossible for Raphael to obtain it himself.

Baator—the Nine Layers of Hell—has its own system and rules. The plane is aligned as lawful evil, and by its laws, anyone who breaks them is punished; in other words, theft is a crime (don’t try this at home edition).

Am I going to explain the system and rules of the Nine Hells? Hell no, or I’ll be sitting here until next Halloween. Sorry, maybe in a separate post sometime (or not) 😭

So Raphael had to get creative if he wanted to get his greedy claws on the crown.

You can read about how much Raphael’s involvement is actually found in the game Baldur’s Gate 3 here.

What’s relevant for this ‘dissertation’ are the following points, which all show how he orchestrates the plot:

1. Raphael, Vlaakith, and the Astral Prism —

Raphael even plots to capture Orpheus. Not personally, of course, but with the knowledge that it could benefit him and would even serve its purpose in the future. This is a crucial detail.

However, I don’t believe Raphael would craft or have someone craft an item like the Astral Prism, as well as the bindings of Orpheus (the mask, chains, and binding crystals) and the Orphic Hammer. It’s more likely these objects already existed in the Hells, with Raphael profiting by dealing with them.

Sadly there is no official information on that, I really find that interesting.

As for why the Orphic Hammer is called Orphic Hammer - why is Orpheus called Orpheus? He’s a liberator for his people, having inherited the power of Mother Gith, who freed the Gith from mind flayer enslavement. The character of Orpheus draws heavily from Orpheus in Greek mythology, a symbol of liberation, love, and the attempt to rescue a soul from the bonds of death. The term “Orphic” reflects this sense of breaking free from constraints or seeking transformation (of course, it has other meanings, too, but this one feels like what the developers were aiming for).

So the hammer’s name has both symbolic depth and a bit of pun, as it’s intended to free the character Orpheus from his chains.

ANYWAY

2. Raphael, Moonrise Towers, and the Gauntlet of Shar —

The amount of interwoven contracts Raphael has made in the Shadow Cursed Lands is suspicious, and each and every one of them is too , an important point.

Isn’t it just a bit too convenient that Ketheric’s misery plays right into Raphael’s hands? The Shadow-Cursed Lands—Reithwin, once ruled by Ketheric, formerly full of Selunite worshippers but ruined by schemes of the Dark Lady who turned a grieving worshipper of her sister into a Shar follower and leader of an army of Dark Justiciars—is a whole breeding ground for contracts and a stage for Raphael’s play.

Hold on, I’m not implying that I believe Raphael had a hand in Shar’s mischief here, but I do think Raphael handpicked Ketheric, a grieving and obsessed madman (a truly tragic character, honestly), to be an unwitting pawn in his schemes, without directly involving himself. To do this, he contracted with desperate beings like the Architect, Yurgir, and the last Dark Justiciar.

To understand why Raphael would even need Ketheric, we have to look a step further.

3. Raphael and my beloved raccoon boy, Gortash —

Raphael buying Gortash from his parents was a calculated move and the final piece in the Netherbrain plot scheme.

I believe Raphael specifically chose Enver Gortash, a boy with potential, for his plans to get the Crown of Karsus.

Look, Gortash is anything but dumb; in fact, he’s the exact opposite. He learned the ropes in Hell, literally imprisoned in Raphael’s House of Hope. All jokes aside about pot-scrubbing duty and overhearing Raphael and Haarlep getting it on, Gortash is a quick learner.

Raphael just had to watch as Gortash escaped the House of Hope with vital information about the crown. With this, Raphael set up an ambitious, cunning man with the drive to steal the crown.

And this is where Ketheric returns to the picture. Ketheric, the chosen of Myrkul; Gortash, the chosen of Bane; and Durge, the chosen of Bhaal.

As for how Raphael might have gotten his hands on Durge? I’ll leave that as the theory’s plot hole.

I could fill it with headcanons—like Gortash and Durge knowing each other even before Gortash was sold—but that feels a bit far-fetched.

Actually, all of this is a bit far-fetched, but hey, it’s my silly little theory.

But hey again, we’re slowly coming to a conclusion how Raphael is the mastermind behind BG3, do you see my vision?

All Raphael needed was patience. The chosen ones, Gortash and Durge, set the stage by planning the Netherbrain coup and, in stealing the crown, executed Raphael’s plan. All they needed was the third chosen, Ketheric, to carry out the rest of the plot: building the Absolute’s army, etc., the rest we know...

So, what was left? Just someone desperate enough to make a deal with Raphael and actually hand over the Crown of Karsus. And how would he pull that off?

✨The Tadpole Gang✨

Every single one of them fits the bill. Especially if the player chooses Durge.

The next question is: how could he manipulate the group if they were under the Absolute’s influence? Well, that’s where the Emperor comes onto the stage.

Because, hear me out one more time: isn’t it convenient that the Emperor, of all people, finds the Astral Prism? A figure obsessed with freedom and manipulation, ambitious and clever, who would serve perfectly as a kind of protection shield from the Elder Brain’s influence for the gang? And to that even a disposable figure as it is a mind flayer who would not be trusted in the end.

(Naturally, in the game the player is the ultimate executional force, making any kind of higher plan or scheme either perfect or useless)

Nevertheless, this is as far as I will dive into this specific pond.

I just think it adds up nicely.

But Björni, if you have a Section 1, what about a Section 2? you might ask. Well, here it comes…

… how this ‘dissertation’ is actually about Mephistopheles being the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Section 2: Raphael as the Scapegoat

DnD’s lore about fiends—and, specifically, cambions—teaches us that they’re doomed to fail from birth. While they may think they’re in control of their schemes, they’re actually playing into the hands of their fiendish parent.

Ever wondered why Mephistopheles would even bother devouring Raphael if we defeat him? Sure, cambion sons are nourishing (yum yum), but given Mephistopheles’ personality, I’d guess he does it to humiliate his son, even in death, for being a failure—a failure to retrieve the crown for his father.

But wait, Mephistopheles already had the crown—why would he bother plotting all of this just to get it back? Isn’t that a bit over-the-top, Björni?

Bear with me: it’s not officially written anywhere, but it’s more or less canon based on what we know of the Archdevils Asmodeus and Mephistopheles.

Asmodeus rules the Hells, while Mephistopheles, as the Archduke of the 8th layer, Cania, is arguably the second most powerful being in Baator. Mephistopheles has never stopped dreaming of overthrowing Asmodeus, even after repeatedly failing miserably. But if he openly tried to use the crown against Asmodeus, it would be a direct affront, and Asmodeus would have shut it down from the start.

Mephistopheles has other children besides Raphael, and Raphael isn’t exactly useless, he’s actually the complete opposite. Strategically, it wouldn’t make sense to discard such a puppet (call him son)—unless Raphael had done something atrocious. And for someone as mighty as Mephistopheles, controlling his little cambion son would be child’s play. So, then why does Raphael hate his father so much, and why is Raphael ‘residing’ in Avernus?

As we know, Avernus is the armpit of Baator, a plane for exiles and outcasts.

I think Mephistopheles intentionally filled his relationship with Raphael with hatred, so Raphael’s ambition to overthrow his father would ignite and one day serve him. When Mephistopheles got the Crown of Karsus, unable to wield it himself, he set the stage for his son’s scheme—by casting Raphael aside, Mephistopheles set him on the path to steal the crown, with Mephistopheles only indirectly involved in overthrowing Asmodeus. Raphael would do the dirty work—taking over the other layers—before ultimately facing his father, who could then just snatch the crown from him. And yes, I do believe Mephistopheles is arrogant enough to think he’d still be more powerful than his son, even with a god-like artifact. He has that bloated of an ego.

BUT (Nr. 36,252), what about Asmodeus? Wouldn’t he step in and crush the plan?

Here’s the thing: Asmodeus generally doesn’t mind if his archdukes fight for control of their layers, as long as it doesn’t threaten his supreme authority or destabilize Hell’s hierarchy. In fact, he encourages a bit of rivalry and ambition among his archdevils, as infighting serves his purposes.

And can you imagine THE Asmodeus being worried about an over-ambitious cambion?

However, this leads to the TRUE instigator and the true subject of this ‘dissertation’…

… how Asmodeus is actually the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Section 3: Asmodeus doing things, just because

Joke’s on you—it’s been about Asmodeus all along, because even if he’d lose (not that he ever would—he’s just that powerful), he’d claim at the last minute that it was his plan all along. Losing trusted allies? What a bunch of traitors—perfect excuse to clean house. Losing Baator? Finally, he was sick of the job.

All jokes aside, Asmodeus being the cunning bastard he is, would likely pull off everything mentioned above.

To understand why he’d even bother, let’s take a quick (really quick, this is already getting too long) dive into his background and shenanigans in DnD.

Throughout DnD’s development from 1e to 5e, Asmodeus has gone through quite the evolution, eventually becoming a Greater Deity, the Embodiment of Evil, and one of the mightiest beings in existence, rivaled only by Ao.

While 5e keeps things vague to allow player interpretation, Asmodeus has consistently been the most powerful entity in the Hells—a schemer, strategist, and supreme manipulator.

(Here’s the only quote I’ll reference:) “[…] His sinister machinations could take centuries, if not millennia, to come to fruition, and his master plans extended across the entire multiverse. His labyrinthine, insidious intrigues could seem inexplicable to most outside observers, for Asmodeus let even his own servants stew in fear of his next move. With all the planes as his board, the Lord of Lies maneuvered the forces of evil like chess pieces in his grand designs, slowly and subtly manipulating everyone from deities to, when needed, lowly mortals.”

He’s described as being a thousand steps ahead of everyone. And while most of his plans serve greater purposes beyond even godly comprehension, some things he does just because—just for fun.

CONCLUSION

Of course Asmodeus knew Mephistopheles had the crown. Of course he knew Mephistopheles would never use it openly against him. And of course he knew Mephistopheles would keep scheming to use it indirectly, bringing his cambion son Raphael into the game.

Why would Asmodeus let all this happen, and why am I saying he’s the real mastermind?

Like already mentioned, Asmodeus often (indirectly) encourages and manipulates his archdukes to scheme and fight among themselves as a means to reinforce his dominance, foster survival of the fittest, and test loyalty within the infernal hierarchy. However, he maintains strict boundaries, and any conflict that risks his supreme authority, disrupts Hell’s role in the multiverse, or leads to excessive chaos would be swiftly and ruthlessly quashed. In Asmodeus’s mind, such rivalries are a useful tool—as long as they remain safely under his control.

In my view, the Crown of Karsus was never a real threat to him; this whole plot served his entertainment, tested loyalties, or helped him gauge his chess pieces.

And that’s how Asmodeus is the real mastermind behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Thanks for reading this mass of nonsense ❤️

Why I even bothered with all this shit? It’s one of the key plot points in my longfic, Ah, You Devil!

[blinkvlink]

alright, so, talia al ghul

these last few days I began reading more and more on her to get to know and understand her better.

my conclusion: I love talia al ghul. I LOVE HER. When she is written by good writers, she is gem of a character with deep lore, deep emotions and complex layers. She has her own morals and ways, and will not bend unless she wants to. Obviously she is gorgeous (even more so when she is not whitewashed) The definition of a queen.

That said, I want to see more of her outside of Batman and Robin. Especially Batman. Because more often than not, we see her through their stories. Their emotions, their point of views. If not them, through her father. It's so obvious to me that there is a golden mine under what we see, which in my opinion is always so surface levelled. And I think that is why I still can't get behind the Brutalia ship.

Selina x Bruce has had years to develop, both the ship itself and the characters, no matter how poorly they were handled sometimes. They both feel like their own people, with their own stories, friends and people. Batman has the Batfamily, which sometimes include Selina herself. And Selina has Holly, Maggie and other characters I can't recall at the moment. While I really don't like it most of the time, they even both have their respective love interests. All these things help add to their relationship whenever they come back to each other, because it actually feels like two people reuniting. I could get into how deep their relationship is too but that's for another post.

When it comes to Talia and Bruce, for me, it always feels empty. Yes, there are very charged emotions, a very complicated history, and a literal child that bind them together, but we always see this through Bruce, maybe Robin, but rarely ever Talia herself. She is just there for us to see if Damian and Bruce are seeing her, or she is involved in some event that is happening in THEIR stories.

I want to see Talia in her own element. I want to see her in her own past (and I am not talking about a single issue in either one of these two characters runs). I even want to see her have other love interests, because most of the time her character feels too much: Bruce Bruce Beloved Bruce to me. Not only that, their romance is very much doomed by the narrative. They have very two different ideologies, and have the means to achieve those said ideologies, which drives them apart sooner or later. This can be incredibly tasty angsty and beautiful, but in the end of the day, it would became the same 'will they won't they' paradox of Batcat, and unlike the latter, it's not because of DC refusing to break the status quo. It's because giving these two characters a happy ending would mean one of them giving their ideology up, and knowing DC would never do that for Batman, I don't want to see Talia give up her ambitions for a man.

The conclusion is: I want to see more of her character outside the male figures in her life. I want her to find love that will actually make her happy, someone who has her ideologies because in the end of the day, no matter what you say, that's what makes Batcat a thousand times more possible and popular than Brutalia. Their approaches are fairly similar, their love for Gotham and her people bind them together, as well as any affection they share. (We don't talk about Gotham war here, that was just pure bullshit)

Man if it was up to me I would make her a bisexual queen even! Give me WLW Talia!

The point is: I adore Talia, but her character needs to be developed without Batman (Robin is fair game because he is literally her son), so when the writers bring these two together, permanent or not, it can actually be more than just a melancholic, doomed by the narrative romance.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

[sleepyric]

Bnha Headcanons ⟢

໑Synopsis໑ How a platonic relationship would develop with them and what’s included (also somewhat of an analysis of character).

໑Characters included໑ Bakugo Katsuki, Kirishima Eijiro, Shoto Todoroki

໑A/N໑ This is my first write since my Wattpad days 8 years ago. Some characters could be a little ooc and there may be grammatical errors. Enjoy ! <3

Word count: 572

Bakugo Katsuki is a complicated and complex man. It’s not new to hear of the many layers this guy has, making it incredibly difficult to break down his barriers. If you’re a new student the probability that he would even regard you as anything but an insignificant extra is slim. It would take a lot for him to even acknowledge you let alone get close to you.

Bakugo Katsuki is the type of guy that would take ages to warm up to you, if ever. If you’re lucky enough to gain his respect, which would only happen because of your powerful quirk or strong willed mindset, it could take a few months. Becoming friends with him would be an even harder feat. Halfway into the year if you managed to gain his respect, maybe just maybe you’d be able to become an acquaintance of his but nothing more.

Being Bakugo Katsuki’s acquaintance would mean you probably are friends with Kirishima as well. Maybe you are in a group chat with Bakusquad, which is how you would’ve gotten Bakugo’s number. If you decided to text him privately, he would give dry one word responses or leave you on read. I could imagine y/n asking for homework help only to receive a simple thumbs down react and a “no”. Of course, if you really wanted help from him specifically it would take a week of constant pestering to get him to crack. He would probably say something like, “if I say yes will you shut the fuck up and stop bothering me?!” Or something along those lines.

As Bakugo Katsuki’s friend, you’re not going to get a lot more. He might be more willing to help you study for upcoming exams, and definitely would want to train with you (it’s more of a competitive thing to him than anything else). I could see him maybe just maybe cooking for his friends but only because you’re “eating unhealthy” and he thinks it’ll make you preform poorly while sparring with him… which would impact the ‘competition’. You might get lucky and drag him to the mall with the Bakusquad once in a blue moon, if it fit his schedule and he felt like it.

Overall, Bakugo Katsuki isn’t an easy person to know on a deeper level, but I don’t think it’s impossible. I’m sure with enough time and patience, along with his personal development/growth over the years would allow you to get closer. It would never be the same as what you expect from other people, so if you want a “normal” friendship he won’t give you that. I think in a way he would end up pushing you to be a better person yourself, fixing any bad routines or habits you might have. Regardless, if you did stick around and managed to gain his respect and companionship he would be there for you when it mattered (in his own way of course).

Kirishima Eijiro is a kind soul, with his own set of flaws. As much of a well loved person as he is, he is also insecure. I imagine his desire to be “manly” stems from feeling like he wasn’t good enough, or a result of being bullied. It’s not unfamiliar to hear him being a sweetheart to everyone, I mean this guy would love to get to know you as a new student. He would offer to show you around because how could he not help someone in an unfamiliar environment?

Kirishima Eijiro loves to help. I think in a way, being well liked by his peers is something he’s always craved yet never received, hence why he tries to be the manliest for everyone. He would hate for anyone to feel the way he did, and maybe still does? With you he’d invite you to sit and eat lunch with him and his friends, or go out to see a movie with them. Always seeking to invite you, and would offer some solid advice if you felt down about anything. It wouldn’t take much to become friends with him.

Once you’re Kirishima Eijiro’s acquaintance, you’re also his friend. I think he kinda skips that part when forming platonic relationships with others. Why not if you like who the other person is, right? Being his friend would be fun. You would be able to go to him for help with anything, really. Need help doing your hair? Awesome, you can even help dye his hair. Don’t want to go to the store alone? Perfect! He’s been dying to grab these new protein bars anyways. Movie nights are a must, you both would have weekly marathons with all your favourite movies. He would also love to train with you, totally not to show off how manly he is or whatever…

Overall, Kirishima Eijiro is the epitome of a green flag. Just don’t forget he has his insecurities. This guy has been through it, feeling like he’s not enough or unlikeable to the rest of society. He probably doubts himself and how others see him as much as he trusts that they are honest and true. It’s always an inner conflict with him, regardless of how he perceives to others on the outside. That’s why, he would do anything for the people he cares about the most. A ride or die type of guy.

Todoroki Shoto is an enigma, honestly. Not so much in a bad way, but with how complicated it is to get a read on the guy. His family troubles clearly contributed to his distance and lack of emotion comprehension. He seems even more challenging than Bakugo. This man is more detached than anyone, and his lack of ability to form proper human connection will make it hard to get acknowledgment from him. If you’re new and interested in him, you’ll have to approach him first.

Todoroki Shoto is icey cold, literally and figuratively. Not that he can’t warm up to you, or doesn’t have the ability to get to know other people it’s just so incredibly difficult for him. He doesn’t want to be a failure, having dealt with feelings like that all throughout his childhood. Never having proper support from anyone, including barely having any friends. He was a loner, so much so that it’s just how he behaves in social settings even now. It’s routine, and his normal. That’s why you would have to show him or give him a reason to want to learn about others.

As Todoroki Shoto’s acquaintance I don’t imagine he would initiate anything. He would probably be a dry texter, but unlike Bakugo it’s not because he doesn’t care, it’s because he’s just like that. Would also find it hard to understand any jokes you might make, taking them quite literally instead. He wouldn’t be unfriendly as an acquaintance per say, but you will often not know how he’s feeling or if he even likes you. That’s why it’s up to you to get to know him, and approach him because if you don’t good luck being friends with him

Once you’re friends with Todoroki Shoto, he’ll comply with any activities you want to do, nonchalantly going along with it. Most hangouts will be going out to grab soba or walks in the park. Simple things that don’t require a lot of socializing or other people. A private guy, prefers to keep to himself. You’ll end up dragging him anywhere social. Since Todoroki is sort of friends with Midoriya, by default y/n would be too. Almost like a trio. Almost.

Overall, Todoroki Shoto is an emotionally distant guy. He doesn’t socialize much, nor does he find platonic connections easy or simple. Despite all of that if you two did manage to become friends you’d be doing most of the work. He might not know how to deal with others emotions, but he would make for an excellent listener. Willingly listening to you rant about everything an anything, just being there and nodding along to what you have to say. He would appreciate that you try so hard to be his friend, knowing that he’s not an easy person to let others in.

[llamagoddessofficial]

So we've seen your Error headcannons, can we get your Nightmare ones since you're in a romantical mood?

Oh can you.....

He's a very complex individual. Under all that rage, when he likes you and wants your company, he's actually a very calm, intelligent and eloquent lover. Princely, if you will. He likes hearing you talk, and is very good at roping you into chatting about your hobbies for hours while he just adoringly stares. He enjoys the arts, music, poetry... once he finds someone he wants, you'd never even know how much anger he's set aside.

(Unlike Error, he's aware that constant anger isn't a very attractive trait)

While he's first starting to develop feelings, it's one of those situations where you won't realise how much he likes you until you see the way he acts around other people. You might think he feels neutral about you, at best- he talks to you, but never about himself, seeming to prefer when you're the one talking. Maybe chortles at a joke every now and then. But overall, he's relatively quiet, relatively still-faced... not very outwardly emotional in any manner.

... Then you see how he acts around everyone else. Hair-thin temper that leads to physical violence with anyone who annoys him too long, dismissive and mean about any subject, he tells people who talk too long to shut up and makes underhanded cruel 'jokes' at their expenses. The same tentacles that curl around your hand or stroke your back as he walks by will grab Dust around the head and slam him into the ground because he made a poorly timed joke.

Nightmare has an eye for traditional courtship. Once his heart is set on you, expect bouquets, jewellery, fine evening dining, strolls through midnight gardens, flowery handwritten letters. He carries a locket with your portrait.

You would think his love languages are gift giving and acts of service, considering how often it seems to be the only way he shows love. But deep down... it's actually physical touch. He's just far too afraid to show it.

Nightmare would do well with a physically affectionate partner. Someone who'll cuddle up to him first so has an excuse to snuggle back. But someone less physical would also be good- sometimes he's afraid his aversion to touch will drive away a partner, and somebody who doesn't really mind either way soothes those fears.

You can't lie to him. Well, I mean... you can. But he can sense it, and he'll always know. Whether or not he lets you think he believes you is up to him.

He has a locked box in his castle full of sketches and small oil paint studies of you. You'll know he's finally totally comfortable with you when he politely asks if he can draw you.

His tentacles often act on his true feelings. Whether that's snapping out to choke Killer for asking if you top, or lovingly curling around you when he's half asleep.

... He's actually pretty childish. Especially when in love. Though he's good at hiding it under layers of highborn mannerisms, he fucking hates when there are any potential rivals for your affection. He tends to lash out against the 'rivals' in underhanded manners whenever you're not looking, then really lay on the charm and affection with you to ensure you're not thinking of leaving him. If you're asexual or demi it may not be that big of a deal because he's soothed by your lack of interest in others, but if you're pansexual or bi, it might be a genuine problem that needs addressing.

Call him "my love". He likes feeling like your one and only.

[waitmyturtles]

Gelboys: Thoughts on Episode 2

1) Before I say anything else, THOSE GELS AT THE END WERE AMAZING, with the layers?? AND those little horseshoe things?! Omg the technology these days.

2) I have to gush a little! This was a brilliant episode.

What an amazing juxtaposition between the no-communication-just-playlist-and-nails date, and the stolen moment at school — no background noise — when Fou4mod, almost in one breath, confuses and compromises his values and his standards to try to keep Chian close to him.

And I loved the separate juxtaposition when we as the viewers, watching the two boys on their silent disco date, stopped hearing music and started hearing the sounds of the trains and the city. That the world was still moving around these two guys who were in their own shared, very temporal, moment.

It was definitely painful to watch Fou4mod waffle in his negotiations with Chian. We as viewers know that the values he was compromising on were ones he held onto strongly in the first episode — he likes clarity of a relationship status and monogamy.

As a mom (and as a former single woman on deez streets) — I couldn’t help but think nostalgically that what Fou4mod was doing, in compromising his values, would be THE way he’d learn about the complexities of human engagement. @betterholdfast said this perfectly — to use their word, it’s almost devastating to have watched the change and compromise unravel in real time.

And yet, these teenage and young adult stumbles are just the precursor to the journey of learning about how unreliable most humans are, unless and until their become your friends, family, and maybe even partners. And that second part — the becoming part — takes so much work beyond the first pheromonal whiffs of a crush.

Fou4mod knows what he wants, we know what he wants, and yet….he now kinda doesn’t know what he wants. And that indecision, leading to the rapid-fire decisions he was making to keep Chian close, that state of waffling, oooh god, that place of unknowing discomfort and queasiness and hope and joy and total devastation — is teenager-hood, right? And this show is successful at this moment because it has NAILED that cringey indecision. I just LOVE IT.

3) One last point, speaking of cringe, and going back to what I said earlier about noise. Wasn’t it so brutal to see Fou4mod learn the truth of Chian’s position once all the distractions were gone? The AirPods, the phones, the playlists? Once all that noise went away, Fou4mod discovered Chian’s truth. Just such an amazing metaphor for the distractions that today’s technologies make for us, that keep us from finding out more easily the truths about ourselves and others. I know this show will keep hammering away at that point.

[asksythe]

Dead languages and maybe Wei Ying is long-lost royalty

Today I had a discussion with @pakhnokh​ regarding why Wei Wuxian didn’t know the deeper layer of meaning behind the Lan forehead band. It was a long discussion on Twitter, so I figured I should just make a post here and leave this information out for anyone who might find it useful. 

To start off: The reason why Wei Ying didn't know the deeper layer of meaning of the Lan forehead band was in the book. But it was written in a very opaque way, in one single throw-away line. In the book, when Wei Ying had to copy the Lan rules, he specifically complained that the rules were written in seal script. 

The Useless Ye Olde’ Script

Seal script is a script that predated traditional Mandarin. It was infamous for being needlessly complex and having dozens, if not hundreds different dialects and writing methods. Some forms of seal script were entirely different languages altogether. When Qin Shi Huang united ancient China, he burned a lot of books and forced people to adopt a standard way to write, thus cementing traditional Mandarin as a singular language that is still used today, 2000 years after. A way to visualize how complex seal script was, is that there were 22 different ways to write the word 'sword'.

That is how mind-bogglingly complex it was. And worse, it was the source of much conflict in ancient times. To explain it simply, it was supposed to be one language. But if people could not even agree on how to write the same word, then how could they agree on more important things and cease warring against each other? 

Language standardization was one of Qin Shi Huang’s greatest achievements, if not the greatest, as it laid the foundation for more peace and eventual unification in later dynasties. 

This topic was made into an Academy Award-nominated movie, Hero by Zhang Yimou in 2002. 

(the word ‘sword’ that Qin Shi Huang decided on, thus wiping out the other 20+ ways to write the same word) 

Dating Mo Dao Zu Shi in real history (or, Wei Ying might actually be long-lost royalty) 

In a very interesting turn of events, MXTX has confirmed in her latest interview in Subaru magazine, that the events of MDZS happened during Wei Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties (commonly referred to as the Six Dynasties era by English-speaking historians, even though these two don’t perfectly line up).

Yes, the same Wei 魏 in Wei Ying 魏婴, Wei Wuxian 魏无羡.

So the events in MDZS took place in the era immediately after the fall of the Qin dynasty (caused by Qin Shi Huang’s death and his sons not being able to measure up). Therefore, Wei Ying’s generation is in a time after the language has standardized into a single form. 

The Lan rules, at least the first set and the meaning of the forehead band, were written about 500 years before Wei Ying’s generation, at the founding of House Lan. So that would put it squarely in the pre-Qin, pre-lingual-standardization era. 

So by Wei Ying’s time, the Lan rules were essentially written in a dead, kinda useless, and very very hard-to-read-because-it-has-some-hundred-different-dialect language. 

That’s on top of the fact that it was probably written in the highest level of 书面语 shumianyu (written language) possible. I.e. extremely condensed and truncated (with zero punctuation). 

So the Lan rules are more or less a very thick law book of a different nation written in the strictest, most condensed dead language that is in no way, shape, or form still in practical use for Wei Ying (and most other people not Lan). Do you feel like reading it? I don’t. 

And that is why Wei Ying never figured out the original meaning of the forehead band despite having copied the rules hundreds of times (first day in class, he was already punished and sentenced to copying the rules 100 times by Lan Qiren). 

Because he was just copying the words without really reading them. This was mentioned when Wei Ying asked Lan Wangji the meaning of the Lan forehead band, and Lan Wangji replied with, you have copied the rules so many times and you still don’t know?  

But isn’t Wei Ying really well-read and smart, and what about the Wen book?

1/ Wei Ying is smart and well-read. There was one throw-away line in the book that mentioned his having read all the books available to him in Lotus Pier, and that he had read all kinds of trivia (including the Thousand Sores and Hundred Holes curse that got put on Jin Zixun). But it was also stated that he favored practical things or things that interested him. Lan rules in dead, extremely hard to read language are… well… yeah…

There was never any mention in canon where he remembered specific Lan rules unless it was literally beaten into him by teenage Lan Wangji.

2/ In the novel, the Lan rules are singled out as the only materials written in seal script. The Wen books were standard issued to everyone who took part in the Wen education camp. So the chance that it was written in seal script is low to none.  

Wei Ying is not the only person who doesn’t know the meaning of the Lan forehead band

Jiang Cheng didn't know either. Jin Ling didn't know either. During the Wen archery competition, when Wei Ying pulled off Lan Wangji's forehead band, he did ask Jiang Cheng what the hell was that, when Lan Wangji and other Lan members reacted like he did something shameful. Jiang Cheng replied with, how the hell would I know? Their house has so many rules. Just stop poking them. 

Jin Ling didn't know until the other Lan teenagers told him. The only characters who know this in canon are all members of Lan house. The impression that Wei Ying is the only one who doesn't know is 100 percent fanon. Keep in mind both Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling are clan heirs, so their education and knowledge of other houses absolutely are not low. 

In fact, the novel specifically shows that.....the rest of the cultivation world is not that clear on the actual specifics of Lan rules either. This is shown when Jin Zixun pressured Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji into drinking wine, a clear violation of Lan rules, and the rest of the cultivators in the banquet cheered him on.

 These cultivators were also heads of Houses or very high-ranking members. Many of them would have studied in Cloud Recess. So again, people who have high education… still know shit all about the actual specifics of Lan rules beyond a vague, general monk-like impression.

About the only other person aside from Wei Ying (and Lan members) who knew the specific rule that Lans do not drink in that banquet was Jin Guangyao, a character whose trademark is high intelligence and extreme social savvy (plus having roomed with Lan Xichen and taken care of him for unknown amount of time right before the Sunshot campaign)

Are there secret parts of the Lan rules?  

No. The Lan rules are public. The book is very clear on this. All Lan rules are carved into a massive stone placed at the foot of the mountain where Cloud Recess is, where anyone passing through or coming into House Lan can see it. 

This rule stone was first mentioned when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian met for the first time. Wei Ying complained that he didn’t know the rules and why are there so many things forbidden in the Lan rules? Lan Wangji replied with, rules are written on the stone. Go read it yourself. 

The second time it was mentioned in the book, was Lan Qiren’s first class. The first thing he did was complained that even with the stone and rules being in open space, nobody bothered to read. So he will read the rules now. 

The book mentioned at least two different sets of Lan rules that both need to be obeyed: 礼则篇 Lize Pian (Book of Rites) 上义篇 Shang Yi Pian (Book of Justice). Whether the rules are separated further into more sets or not is unknown. 

Why are some Lan rules better known than others? 

Because Lan rules are based on 克己復禮 Keji Fuli, a real-life Confucius asceticism that calls for the restraint/purge of one’s ego and to return to the core rites. This is also newly confirmed in MXTX’s new interview, though it has been more or less heavily suggested in the book itself, with House Lan being known as the House of Gentlemen. 

Gentlemen here is not the Western ideal of Gentlemen, but rather a Confucius ideal and set of values. Confucius is the person who created this ideal in the first place. 

So it’s not that some rules are better known, but rather the entire image of Lan House is a huge pointer as to how they live their life: with great restraint. 

[nctinkverse]

Promissa Redux - Chapter 2

Synopsis: Despite sharing a year-long relationship with your current boyfriend, an overwhelming fear prevents you from allowing him to bond with your daughter. The upcoming birthday party of your ex-husband, Jaehyun, adds a layer of complexity when you discover he has a new girlfriend and of course it's Valentine's Day.

The night unfolds with a delicate balance of humor and tension as you interact with Jaehyun's friends, attempting to maintain composure in the midst of emotional complexities. The story delves into the intricacies of co-parenting, the lingering shadows of past relationships, and the poignant journey of rediscovering love.

Warnings: minnors do not interact!, for this chapter we've got angst, sooo much angst and fluf.

Pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

Word count: 3.558

Unauthorized copying or translation of this work is strictly prohibited.

----------- Preview, warnings and Chapter 1 --------------------

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Chapter 2 - Valentine's Day

You were dating the same guy for almost a year, he knows your child, but out of fear you never made the effort to get them to get along.

There was always a voice in your head that didn’t let you make them spent more time together, it’s always the knowledge that abuse also comes from we trust, and you never dared to expose your daughter to other man without your supervision.

What type of mom would you be if you let anything bad happen to her just because you wanted a dating life?

That fear was bigger than any of your dreams of marring again.

For you, finding love once in a lifetime was already more than you could ask for.

So, ever since you found the ring box on the floor, fear has gnawed you so bad that you’ve been giving your boyfriend excuses for not seeing him for the past two weeks.

You can’t put it all on Nari, there’s a bit of fear on being in love again.

As much as you have tangled yourself with other man, you always compare them to Jaehyun, it’s a mistake and you know it.

But you can’t help it, not when Jaehyun was your biggest love of all.

And since 14 of February was in just two days, you were on your penthouse floor with your daughter, trying to contain the mess of the photobook slash scrapbook that became your birthday gift tradition to Jaehyun.

It all started when you got divorced and as always, giving presents to someone who has everything they want, is hard, so giving presents to Jaehyun was a hard thing too.

The photobook was born of your idea of giving Jae, something of his daughter, he was still an idol back then, and his contract didn’t allowed him to have more time with his daughter, so he kept missing big events, the first time she let her entire popsicle melt while looking at the ferries wheels, or her look of wonder when you took her on a small trip to an aquarium in Japan.

So your scrapbook was full of pictures of Nari, and little stories about all the messes she made the day that picture was taken.

But as much as you didn’t hate him, being at his birthday’s was always a tad bit weird…his group mates who you had also worked with back when you were still working for SM Entertainment, treated you the same as always, big hugs and treating your daughter as their own niece.

Other people, the people who were only acquainted with Jaehyun after he divorced you, were always kind of suspicious of your good relationship or did try to probe into your personal life.

You never assumed you were invited so you always waited for the invitation to arrive or for his mum to say something…maybe one day he wouldn’t want you there and you had to respect if one day he didn’t.

This year, though, you knew it would be different when Mama Jung called you a few days ago…

“Are you coming to his birthday this year?”

“Am I invited?”

“Nonsense, you know you are.”

“Okay so I guess…”

“He has a girlfriend.” She interrupted you mid-sentence.

“Oh…ok.” You knew about it already; Nari told you about her dad new girl friend.

“Do you really want to come my dear?”

“Does he want me there?”

“Of course, he does…”

You cut her “If he does, please ask him to call me…I know you will say anything to please me Mama, but he won’t lie, and I need to know if he wants me there…”

After that she said OK, and you both hang up.

It wasn’t until almost midnight that same day that Jaehyun called.

“My mom said you’re not sure you’re going to my birthday party…did I do-”

You promptly interrupted.

“You did nothing wrong Jaehyun, it’s just…you mother told me about you girlfriend, and I haven’t met her, so I don’t want it to be weird… I mean it’s your birthday.”

“No Y/N, it won’t be the same without you there and Yeri knows about you…I just never introduced you guys because I didn’t-”

“Jaehyun, I don’t mind really it’s just… do you want me there?”

“I need you there, Y/N”.

“Then that’s all I need to know, I’ll be there.”

“Thank you.”

And that was about it, you were going.

It wasn’t the first time Jaehyun had a girlfriend, his relationships just never lasted enough to make it to his birthday’s you guessed, also a few years ago you thought he might ditch the whole birthday thing for a valentine’s date…but he never did.

He wanted to spend his birthdays with his daughter, he said once.

Even though his birthday parties were almost always full of family and friends he had to invite some of his co-workers, being an actor who worked almost always overseas, his birthdays were the times where he would also occasionally mingle with people from the Korean entertainment industry.

When you were still married, you didn’t mind it since you were in the industry yourself and some of the people you were familiar with or were a fan of their work, sometimes you knew more people than Jaehyun, since in most of the times, he was the idol, the singer and you were the one setting up agendas, coordinating the whole NCT media and press department.

But it became another thing entirely after you got divorced, most people would still assume you were married and refer to you as Mrs. Jung, other times you could pass by tables and hear whippers about the supposed motives for your divorce.

When the 14th of February approached again, you made sure to call Mrs. Jung and ask if she needed help for anything, she said everything was fine, just for you to show up on time with Nari.

---------

Still in your bedroom, pressing the snooze button on the alarm to remind you to leave on time, you looked at your reflection in the mirror. You bought a new dress, a new clutch, but still wore the same YSL stilettos you purchased with one of your first SM salaries. They were your favorite ones; they could be old-fashioned by now, but they made you feel beautiful and provided the perfect height you needed.

“It’s time to go, be calm, breath”.

 You told your reflection in the mirror while taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm your nerves. Grabbing the wrapped scrapbook from your bed, you left your room to check if the nanny had successfully kept Nari dressed while you quickly had a bath and did your makeup.

You smiled in relief when you saw Nari still wearing her cute strawberry-printed dress she had chosen herself. She was going through a strawberry phase; last month, it was a Hello Kitty one.

She didn’t notice your presence at her room's door, as she was talking to the nanny when you entered.

Observing her cute dimples, nose scrunching up when the nanny tickled her, rosy cheeks, light pink in tone, brown eyes, and dark, straight brown hair you thought she looks so much like him. Yet, when she smiled, especially with all the dimples making appearances, she mostly resembled you, especially the way her giggles sounded and the way her eyes and lips curved.

She was the perfect mix of both of you.

Noticing you at the door, she made a run for your legs, yelling, 'Mommy, mommy, let’s go see Dad!' She was always excited about Jaehyun’s birthdays; he would parade her for everyone, and she loved hearing the compliments. True to her father’s behavior as a child, people always found her smart and cute.

As soon as you both arrived, you made sure to drop his present at the designated spot, where presents were already piled up, and then made your way to the ballroom, where tables, a piano, people, and food were usually present.

Upon seeing her father, Nari practically jumped from your arms into the ground, making a beeline for him. A few steps behind, you got to him just as he had gotten her in his arms, and a man close to him spoke.

“Oh, this is your daughter, no wonder she is so beautiful, look at her mom a perfect example of fine Korean blood” he said approvingly with his head turning towards Jaehyun and what you suspected was his girlfriend.

You stopped on your tracks, a step or two from them.

Jaehyun was the first one to notice you, and probably saw the watery line that was already formed on your eyes, beyond your control.

It wasn’t the first time and probably wouldn’t be the last. But it still hurt.

Noticing that Jaehyun’s head had turned towards you, the man also turned.

“Oh an international nanny, that was very clever of you Jaehyun is she teaching your daughter English al-”

“She isn’t-” Jaehyun started to say still with eyes locked with yours. But Nari interrupted him.

“Mom, why are you crying?”

Diverting your eyes from his and landing on Nari you said:

“I’m not crying sweetheart.”

“But your eyes mommy”

“I know sweetheart it’s just the make-up.”

Nari was too clever and even though she didn’t say anything, she made grabby hands towards you. You approached the group and Jaehyun let her come to your arms.

Tucking her close to your heart, she crossed her little arms around your neck. You patted her back, and looked up to Jaehyun who even with you in heels was at least a head taller than you.

“Y/N-” He started with a soft tone, but it was no place or time for you two to talk so you just interrupted him.

“Happy Birthday Jaehyun.”

“Thank You, Y/N… this is Yeri…”

You gave Yeri a smile and a nod, and she gave it back. The man on the other hand did not seem ok.

“And this is Mr. Choi one of the presidents of MBC…Mr. Choi this is Y/N, Y/L/N, my daughter Nari, mom” he said firmly, his tone betraying a hint of anger

“I’m sorry I didn’t realized you had married someone who was not Korean, and your daughter looks so much like pure k”-

“My daughter is the most precious thing in my life she is the perfect combination of me and her mom, didn’t you see her big, beautiful eyes, she didn’t inherit that from me, I don’t dare to take the credit for her mom’s beauty.” Jaehyun cut him mid-sentence.

If angry was liquid, Jaehyun would be spilling over the man, it didn’t take much of you to realize it since Jae’s ears were bright red.

“Mrs. Jung!!!” You heard a familiar voice yell, Johnny of course, the only one who would still embarrass you with your ex-last name.

Yet, as much as he was annoying, you were grateful that he was approaching, you looked at him and he blinked, oh thank God, he probably noticed the whole situation.

“What are you still doing here Jaehyun…more guests have arrived, me included, and I’ve been waiting for you to realize me and Donghyuck are already here, but you didn’t. So, sorry Yeri, Mrs. Choi but I’m stealing those three.”

He said grabbing Jaehyun by the arms and making sure he was walking in front of him toward Hyuck, while grabbing you by the waist so you would unfreeze from your spot.

“I told you to not use the Mrs. Jung again John”.

“I know”

“Why do you use it?”

“To annoy you and Jaehyun, also, I think one day you might use it again” he said the last part on a whisper so Nari wouldn’t hear it.

You couldn’t do much, so you gave him a slight elbow punch to his stomach, being the exaggerated person that he was, he grabbed his belly in fake pain and looked at you with a pout.

Being 35 just like you, you couldn’t believe how much a dramatic ass Johnny could be.

You liked him, he just annoyed the shit out of you.

You three made a line for the table Hyuck was seated, Nari practically leaped to the younger Lee’s arms, she loved him, he was fool and let her get away with anything, he was putty in her hands. You talked for a while, but Jaehyun’s eyes were burning on your face, you could feel it.

When the conversation stopped, Jaehyun called your name.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Jaehyun.”

“Don’t lie.”

You breathed a long breath.

“Right now, I’m okay Jaehyun really, it’s not the first time…it just…gets to me more than I should let it get.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay, and I will be fine, go entertain your guests I’ll stay here with the guys if they don’t mind.”

Johnny had to butt in.

“Oh god we don’t mind it, actually, don’t think Doyoung’s wife would mind you keeping him safe from other woman, man that woman is OBSESSED, I don’t think she trusts any other woman with her man but shit, so much jealously if-”

“We know John!” Huck, you and Jaehyun said almost at the same time.

“Go Jaehyun I’ll be fine.”

“Ok, I will go.”

He turned but then turned towards you again.

“Where is my present!”

You laughed a bit.

“I just left it on the pile, don’t worry I haven’t forgot it.”

“Ok. Hum…can we open later, together as we always do?”

“Of course, Jaehyun.”

“Ok, I’m going”. This time he turned and went to entertain the other guests, later on his mom came to talk to you a bit, his dad left a small kiss on your forehead and carried Nari away.

Along the night you talked to the boys – yes, the boys from NCT127, all the 8 sitting at the same table, the chaos between shared stories and them drowning alcohol into their systems, Taeil talked about his wife, the latest recipes he learned, Johnny promptly jump in to ask when was going to be their next “family” dinner, Taeyong watched everything with a red neck because of the alcohol, his big black eyes focused on the conversation and talking a bit of sense to anyone’s crazy ideas for dinners or vocations.

Yuta was loud, talking about this rock concert he saw a few days ago, where the singer was an amazing vocalist, Doyoung said he wished he could also go to concerts with the guys but basically his wife didn’t trust his life in his friends’ hands, making an offended noise Jungwoo butted in claiming he had no idea why she said that since they were all responsible people.

Mark nodded, saying he had no idea why she thought that.

This time you butted in.

“Oh, please Mark, I do remember that time on a MV filming set where Jeno was on a dumpster lid and you told him to do back flips…you’re practically raised by Johnny, all of you are the perfect example of why man die first, just stupid.”

They all looked at you, offended of course.

Haechan was the first one to start the bickering.

“Watch most of us outlive you.”

“Of course, maybe 2 of you will.”

“I’ll outlive you.”

“Oh, please Johnny, if you manage that I might feel offended. I am outliving you at least by a few months since I’m younger.”

“Oh, please Y/N, you’ll probably die of boredom.”

“I will die of old age, and you will probably die while doing some weird shit.”

They all cracked up in a laugh, Johnny sometimes in the past was caught doing some hum, let’s say questionable things, nothing criminal, just, weird…but hey, not everyone’s got good tase.

And that’s how the rest of the party rolled for you.

It was already past midnight when you saw Jaehyun, go up the stairs with Nari in his arms. You quickly got up and followed up.

Nari had her own bedroom in her grandfather’s house, and her dad’s apartment as well.

Following close behind you opened your daughter room door, to find him tucking Nari in bed, you asked:

“She’s already asleep?”

“Yes, but she’s trying to stay up, so I brought her up, before she actually manages to kick her sleep away.”

She couldn’t even keep her eyes open; you watched while he covered her in the blankets and made sure her hands and feet weren’t out of the bed.

When Jaehyun finished, he got up and curved to give her a goodnight kiss on her head. You just looked at it, this is one of the many reasons even after everything, you still couldn’t regret any minute you had together, it was also times like these where you, missed your husband, your best friend.

You didn’t realize you were blocking the door, so Jaehyun touched your arm, it looked like he was whispering your name, so you let him guide you out of the room. As soon as the door closed behind you too, he asked:

“Can we open my present? Together like always?”

“Of course we can, but what about your guests?”

“Only my dad’s closest friends stayed plus the guys.”

“What about Yeri?”

“I sent her home with my driver. It’s been a long night.”

“Jaehyun…” You said disapprovingly.

“What?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“I know, but for me it’s just my birthday. She knows Y/N.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’ll go down to grab it, wait for me outside?”

“Sure.”

Walking down the other way toward the gardens in the winter chill, a consequence of wearing a dress, you admired the meticulously tended flowers by Mrs. Jung.

Footsteps approached, prompting you to turn. Jaehyun halted upon meeting your gaze, holding a wrapped photobook. His eyes, however, were fixed on the ground. Following his line of sight, you realized he was focused on your shoes.

You remembered just as something warm filled your body, you had sex with him, once, while wearing those shoes.

Shaking your head slightly, trying to erase the mental image of him railing you while you wore nothing but the black designer shoe with the YSL letters as part of the golden heel.

Coffing a little you tried to get Jaehyun’s attention, no doubt judging by the red tone on his ears he also remembers everything.

He looked up as if you had woken him. So, you said:

“Are we going to open your present or not?”

“Yeah sure.”

Following him to the swing like bench you sit down while he rips the paper with a smile on his face that remembers a lot like a kid on Christmas Day, you contain a laugh.

He opens and flips a few pages smile growing the more pictures he sees. Turning his body towards you he asks:

“Walk me through it?”

“Of course, Jae.”

Smiling, you get closer to him, grabbing the photobook and placing it on both of your legs. So, the story begins. The first page narrates a day at a park near your home with Nari. You swear, she stared at a little boy with brown hair and dimples, as if it were her first crush. It suddenly struck you—maybe this was her first crush.

Jaehyun frowned a bit, making a bit of a sour face at mentions of a boy.

“She’s 5 Jaehyun, chill.”

“I know, but tell me did the boy was nice to her or looked at her with cute eyes too?”

“He was nice to her, even let her play with one of his toys when she made a crying face.”

“Well, that’s good.”

Laughing you asked:

“Why is that?”

“Our daughter is beautiful.”

“I know…” You said making question marks at him with your eyes.

“If he didn’t like her too, he would be a fool.”

“Jaehyun?”

“Yes”

“That was cute.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was.”

“I’m not cute, Y/N.”

“Still, it was.”

Letting out a playful huff he finally gave in.

“Fine, it was. Now, moving on to the next page.”

Smiling you kept telling to Jaehyun the stories behind the pictures and little notes on the photobook slash scrapbook. You both laughed a lot about how cute and smart Jung Nari is.

Upon finishing the last page, he turned his full body, legs still touching. It felt uncomfortably close. Before anything could be said, his hand reached out, gently tucking the strands of hair behind your ear.

Chills went up your arms, he noticed too, but mistook for cold, so you watched as he took out his suit out and wrapped it on your arms and shoulders. You still couldn’t muster words, so you let out a small thank you under your breath.

When you raised your eyes up to his, he was looking at you with so many emotions locked in his eyes.

“Y/N…”

“Hum?”

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

You saw him getting closer but couldn’t manage to move. Even if you could, you weren’t sure in which direction you would move.

One of his arms circled your back, landing on your waist. Pulling you close, he held your head with his other hand carefully while he kissed your forehead. Breathing you in and out, he started:

“Y/N, I-”

“I know Jaehyun, I know.”

And you knew, but you couldn’t let him say it.

Next Chapter!

---------------

To everyone who has waited for this chapter since I promised to drop a few weeks ago, tysm for you patience, I hope it pays out the wait.

- Tessa 💚

Taglist:

@dulyrana @clblnz 💚

@electric-hearts @hyuukah @baeseungcheolie @girlinbangtan @johnbanana @fashion-addictedd @peachfulnight @angel63715 @daegalismybiasinnct @chloemargaret @phattyboo90 @oyasueme @peachfulnight

ps. there is some people I wasn't able to tag, so I will be sending the update on your DM, if you already read, pls ignore.

[divinesangel]

can you do a reading on how dpr ian is as a person and also in love?

— how is DPR Ian as a person + in love?

as a person: ian is someone who carries a lot within him, even if he doesn’t always show it. there’s a deep emotional complexity to him, like a storm beneath still waters. he knows how to maintain control, especially over his emotions, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel things deeply. in fact, he feels things so intensely that he sometimes has to distance himself from them to keep functioning. he doesn’t like losing control, and he doesn’t like showing vulnerability, but that doesn’t mean he lacks it. he has layers, and the deeper you go, the more contradictions you’ll find. he can be warm, charming, and magnetic, but there’s also an edge to him, a guardedness, like he’s always prepared for things to go wrong. there’s a restless energy in him, like he’s always moving, always chasing, always looking for something. but the problem is, he’s not even sure what he’s looking for. part of him thrives on ambition, on pushing forward, on winning. he doesn’t just sit back and let things happen—he goes after what he wants. but another part of him is exhausted. like he’s been fighting for so long that he doesn’t even know why anymore. he has dreams, he has passions, but he also has doubts. i feel like he questions himself more than people realize, even if he hides it behind confidence or defiance.

he is someone who struggles between impulse and control. there are times when he acts before thinking, when his emotions or desires push him forward before his mind catches up. he might be someone who can be reckless, who gets caught up in the moment, who wants something so badly in one instant but then hesitates in the next. and that hesitation—those moments of second-guessing—frustrate him. he wants to be sure, he wants to know, but deep down, he doesn’t always have the clarity he wishes he did. there’s pain in him. old wounds, scars that haven’t fully healed. some of it is heartbreak, some of it is disappointment, some of it is self-inflicted. he has been let down before, maybe even betrayed, and while he acts like he’s moved past it, part of him never really has. he carries his past with him, sometimes as motivation, sometimes as a burden. he wants to believe he’s left it behind, but it still lingers in the corners of his mind.

he has a strong presence. people notice him. he knows how to take up space, how to command attention, how to get what he wants. he’s strategic, he understands people, and he knows how to use that knowledge. but that doesn’t mean he’s always open with others. in fact, he can be incredibly private. he lets people see what he wants them to see, but there are parts of him he keeps locked away. he’s also someone who struggles with control. not just over himself, but over his life, over his emotions, over the way things unfold. he doesn’t like feeling powerless. when things don’t go his way, when he might feel trapped or uncertain, it eats away at him. he doesn’t always handle it well. sometimes he tries to force things, sometimes he withdraws. underneath everything, he wants something real. despite his intensity, despite his complexity, despite the walls he builds, there’s a part of him that just wants something that feels right. something that doesn’t have to be fought for, something that just fits. but he’s also afraid of it. because to have something real means letting his guard down, means risking being hurt again, means trusting. and that’s not easy for him. deep down, he is someone who carries a mix of light and darkness. someone who has the capacity for deep love, deep passion, deep loyalty—but also someone who wrestles with his own demons. he is strong, but not unbreakable. he is driven, but not always sure where he’s going. he is charming, but not always honest with himself. and above all, he is human—flawed, complicated, but ultimately searching for something that makes all the struggle, all the pain, all the uncertainty feel worth it.

ian’s internal world is vast, a labyrinth of emotions, memories, desires, and fears, and it’s easy to see how sometimes he might feel overwhelmed by it all. there’s a constant tension in him, a push and pull between wanting to move forward and fearing the unknown. his mind is constantly active, constantly turning over ideas, scenarios, possibilities, but it can also be a battleground. he’s someone who struggles to quiet his thoughts, who finds it hard to relax his mind. when the world gets too loud, he might retreat into himself, into that quiet place where he can think without distraction, but even there, it’s never truly peaceful. the noise is always there, just beneath the surface. he is someone who has learned to keep his emotions in check, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel deeply. sometimes, his feelings are so intense that they threaten to spill over, and when that happens, he can be unpredictable. he might lash out, he might retreat, he might get lost in his own head. he doesn’t always know how to process his emotions in healthy ways, and that’s something he struggles with. he can be impulsive, making decisions based on fleeting feelings or gut reactions, and then regret it later when things settle down.

there’s also a deep longing in him, a desire for something more than just success or recognition. while he’s driven, while he’s ambitious, there’s a part of him that just wants peace, just wants to feel settled and content. he doesn’t need the world to constantly demand things from him, but he often feels like it does. he doesn’t need constant approval or attention, but there’s a sense of emptiness that lingers when it’s absent. he seeks validation, not from the world, but from within himself, from the people closest to him, from the people he cares about. but that validation is hard for him to accept when it’s offered. there’s a certain amount of restlessness that comes with ian as well. it's almost as if he’s always searching for something—whether it’s a goal, an answer, a sense of direction, or just an outlet for his restless energy. sometimes, he’s too quick to jump into things, too quick to take action without considering the consequences. but it’s not because he’s reckless; it’s because he doesn’t want to feel stuck. the fear of being stagnant, of being trapped in one place, weighs heavily on him. it’s like he’s constantly running away from his own fears, running toward something better, something more fulfilling, but he doesn’t always know what that is. deep down, there’s a fear of failure, a fear of being judged or found lacking. this fear can manifest in different ways, whether through a desire for perfection or a tendency to avoid situations that might expose his vulnerabilities. he doesn’t want to fail, not just for himself but for the people he cares about. he’s fiercely loyal, and that loyalty extends to himself as well. he holds himself to high standards, sometimes too high, and when he falls short, he can be incredibly hard on himself. he internalizes his failures and mistakes, even when they aren’t entirely his fault. however, there’s also a part of him that understands that growth comes from pain. that transformation can only happen through change, through shedding old skin, through letting go of old versions of himself that no longer serve him. this acceptance of change, even if he doesn’t always embrace it, is what allows him to keep moving forward, even when things seem impossible. he knows that nothing lasts forever, and that includes pain. he’s not afraid to face his demons because he understands that in doing so, he’ll come out stronger.

but at the same time, ian is someone who gets caught up in the illusion of control. he likes to think that he can dictate his own path, that he can shape his life exactly how he wants it. he’s a natural planner, someone who wants to be in charge, who wants to know exactly where things are going. but life doesn’t always work that way, and that’s something that he can struggle with. he doesn’t like being blindsided, doesn’t like things to feel out of his control, and when they do, he tends to react by trying to take charge again. this constant battle for control can lead to frustration, especially when he feels like things are slipping away from him. yet, at his core, ian is a person who deeply craves connection. despite the armor he puts up, despite the walls he builds around himself, there’s a longing for something real, something true. he doesn’t want superficial connections. he wants depth, wants to know that he’s seen, heard, and understood. but trust doesn’t come easily to him, and that’s where his fears lie. the fear of opening up too much, of being too vulnerable, of letting someone see the parts of him that he hides so carefully. it’s this fear that often keeps him from fully embracing those connections when they come.

ian also has a strong desire to prove himself. whether it’s proving his worth to others or to himself, he constantly feels the need to show that he is capable, that he is worthy of the attention, the success, the respect that he craves. this can sometimes make him push too hard, take on too much, or burn himself out. it’s not that he doesn’t believe in himself—he does. but he has this internal drive to prove that belief to the world. and when things go wrong, when things don’t work out the way he hoped, it can shake his confidence. but there’s also a fire in him, a determination that refuses to let him stay down for long. no matter how many setbacks he faces, no matter how many obstacles come his way, he always gets back up. he might not always show it, but he has an unwavering strength within him. and while he might not always be the most open about it, he’s incredibly resilient. underneath all of the layers, ian is still searching for balance. balance between his ambitions and his personal life, between his need for independence and his desire for connection. he knows that he can’t keep fighting forever, that at some point, he has to find peace. but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to stop moving forward. he’s always looking for ways to improve, to evolve, to grow. but it’s important for him to remember that balance doesn’t come from always pushing harder, always striving for more. sometimes, balance comes from knowing when to slow down, when to let go, and when to trust that things will unfold as they should. ian is, at his core, a work in progress. like everyone, he has his flaws, his moments of doubt, and his struggles. but he also has a depth, a richness to him that few people truly understand. and the more he learns to embrace all of his complexities, all of his contradictions, the more he will be able to find peace within himself. he’s on a journey, and while it might be a challenging one, it’s one that will ultimately lead him to a deeper understanding of himself and the world around him.

in love: when ian is in love, deep down, he’s a mixture of intense emotions and conflicting desires. on one hand, he’s someone who wants to give fully in a relationship. there’s a side of him that is generous, wanting to invest time and effort into making things work, and sharing everything with the person he’s in love with. he would do what it takes to ensure his partner feels cared for, respected, and valued. deep down, he seeks harmony, a mutual connection where both partners are on the same page. he has a deep desire for emotional balance and fairness in love—he’s the kind of person who will want things to feel just right, without any hidden agendas or imbalances. when he feels love, he’ll dive into it headfirst with passion and excitement. there’s a youthful, almost impulsive side to him when he’s in love, as he’s driven by intense attraction and emotional desire. he’ll want to go all in, throwing himself into the connection, wanting to feel the highs of love without holding back. yet, there’s a part of him that also remains cautious and protective, afraid of getting hurt or letting his guard down too much. at the same time, he is someone who wants long-term stability, as he thinks deeply about the future. he desires a committed relationship where trust and loyalty are key, and he’s not afraid to work for it.

however, there’s also a side of him that can struggle with feeling overwhelmed by his emotions. he may push himself to keep up appearances and show confidence, but deep down, he may worry about his own vulnerabilities or the possibility of being taken advantage of. he may also find it hard to express how he truly feels at times, even though he wants to share everything with the person he loves. there can be moments of doubt, where he questions the sincerity of his feelings or his partner’s feelings, leaving him a little confused or hesitant. he tends to overthink things and might second-guess decisions or actions in the relationship, especially when he senses any form of imbalance or uncertainty. still, when ian truly loves someone, he’s committed to doing the work to make it last. he would invest his time and effort into the relationship, nurturing it and growing with his partner. he’s someone who believes in building something stable over time, taking things slow but steady. while he may have moments of doubt or vulnerability, he will be fiercely loyal and supportive once he decides to fully trust his partner. deep down, he wants nothing more than to find someone with whom he can build a lasting, meaningful connection. he wants to feel at home in love, where he can be himself and know that his partner feels the same way. his love for someone will likely bring out the best in him—he will be driven to work harder, to be a better person, and to show his partner that he’s reliable and dependable. he’s the type of person who will go above and beyond when he’s committed to someone, showing his love through actions rather than just words. however, he’s also very cautious when it comes to making sure that the love he gives is returned in equal measure. he seeks fairness and reciprocity, and if he feels like he’s giving too much without getting the same in return, he might start to pull away or feel uncertain. he’s not someone who enjoys the feeling of being drained or taken for granted, so maintaining that balance in the relationship is crucial to him.

his approach to love can also be somewhat idealistic, where he believes in the beauty of true love and the potential for deep emotional connections. when he’s in love, he’ll want to feel like it’s the real deal—the type of love that is life-changing and transformative. however, this idealism can sometimes clash with reality. when faced with challenges or moments of emotional discomfort, he might have difficulty confronting them head-on. there may be times when he’s tempted to escape or avoid difficult situations, preferring to keep the peace rather than deal with uncomfortable emotions. this can be a pattern that he’s still learning to navigate, as he may have a tendency to shy away from confrontation, even if deep down he knows it’s necessary for growth in the relationship. despite this, he is deeply invested and loyal. his love runs deep, and once he decides that he’s found someone worthy of his heart, he will stand by them through thick and thin. his loyalty and determination are qualities that will shine through in a relationship, even if he has moments of self-doubt or fear. when he feels emotionally safe with someone, he’s not afraid to open up and show his vulnerabilities. he might not always be the most vocal about his feelings, but he’ll express them through his actions, the small gestures of care, and the way he prioritizes his partner’s happiness.

in love, ian will also experience growth, as the relationship will push him to confront parts of himself that he may not always be comfortable with. he will learn to be more open, more transparent, and more trusting. he’ll need a partner who can help him feel secure enough to shed his armor and truly let them in. he’s someone who is always striving to improve, so being in love will challenge him to become a better person, and he will appreciate a relationship where both partners are continuously growing and evolving together. deep down, ian wants a relationship that’s not just about passion, but also about stability and long-term fulfillment. he wants a partner who can balance his desire for adventure and excitement with a solid foundation of trust and understanding. while he might not always express it in the most obvious ways, his love will be constant and steady once he’s sure of his feelings. he’s someone who would cherish a deep emotional connection, where both partners can be themselves, support each other, and build something lasting. he wants a love that’s transformative, not just in the short term, but one that lasts a lifetime, one that stands the test of time. he also feels like he wants to create a family or something similar to that, stable and grounded. that would be something that would make him feel complete in some way.