#maybe not as complex as others but he still has layers | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vibelladonna · 6 days ago

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✑ 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝓀𝓈 𝜗𝜚 𝓈𝑜𝓁 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓌𝑒

· ─────── ⋆⋅ 🝣 ⋅⋆ ─────── ·

Didn't expect me to write more about Sol, did you? Honestly, I needed to do more research into his character, after all, since I kinda ignored him in the game as soon as Crowe showed up. Like, no wonder he did what he thought he had to do.

𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔: 18+ NO KIDS (Adults Only) This content contains mature themes unsuitable for children. Please respect the creator's intentions.

I mixed a bit of canon and my headcanons for Crowe and Sol in this one—yep, once again! This time, I kept it focused on just four kinks to keep it short and sweet. I'm still learning about the BDSM community, and honestly, it's been really eye-opening.

A close friend (college roommate: adding on the fact she adores Sol—Sorry not sorry, love) of mine has been super helpful, sharing and explaining things about the BDSM scene to add more depth to my writing.

A lot of my inspiration comes from her, along with the Tumblr fanfic community and the original creator's work. I try to blend what feels true to the characters while throwing in my own twist. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Starting, I’ve noticed that TKATB fans have their unique preferences when it comes to Sol or Crowe.

For example, fans who gravitate toward Sol tend to enjoy the idea of him being dominant—whether it’s being in control of him or just envisioning him taking charge. It’s that mix of power and intensity that gets people excited. You know who you are, you freaks!

On the other hand, fans of Crowe are drawn to his reliability, his deep understanding, and his caring nature. He’s willing to guide you through anything, offering both emotional support and strength. It’s comforting, isn’t it? And yes, I’m a freak too—I get it.

✑ 𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓌𝑒

Naturally, I had to start with my man—Jericho, or Crowe, as he's known. He exudes a mysterious, almost savior-like presence, though the details are still unclear. I WANNA KNOW SO BAD.

His style is effortlessly sharp, and his quiet confidence makes him instantly trustworthy. Reliable, steady, and composed, Crowe is the perfect support when life feels overwhelming. His charm is subtle, blending good looks with an alluring personality—irresistible, without ever being flashy.

Now, let’s address the question: Can you see Crowe as kinky?

At first glance, no. Not. To a stranger, he’s too put together, with not even the faintest hint of anything unconventional beneath the surface. But as you get to know him, that answer begins to shift. Slowly, subtly, he reveals a side of himself that hints at complexity—an edge just beneath his polished exterior. However, don’t expect anything extreme or overtly wild.

What he does reveal is never too much but always just enough to leave you captivated—and maybe, just maybe, a little curious.

✑ Vanilla (Soft Dom…)

For Crowe preferences!

He's the ultimate soft, warm partner. Like, you just know he's all about the quiet, comforting vibes. No crazy power dynamics or rough kinks—he's all about that steady, affectionate love. It's Vanilla, but in the best way possible, full of layers. He’s not rushing anything, just enjoying the little things, taking his time, and making sure you feel heard and cherished.

When you're with him, it's all slow and gentle—he’s not here for intense extremes. His love is patient, thoughtful, and wrapped in warmth. Every touch, every word, is like a soft caress, just so deliberate and tender.

And honestly? There's no need for anything crazy. Crowe's happy to explore your connection, build that trust, and just savor the passion that grows naturally between you two. It's the kind of love that builds and lingers long after.

Now… Crowe might be a soft dom—nah he IS A SOFT DOM.

Crowe’s not the type to push you past your limits just for the thrill of it. He’s not into playing mind games or testing how far he can take things. No, Crowe’s power is the quiet kind, the kind that makes you feel safe without even having to try. He knows the real strength is in taking care of someone, not in forcing them into anything they’re not ready for.

When you’re with him, it’s like he’s always tuned into you, always listening, always aware of exactly what you need. He’s the guy who doesn’t take, but gives—gives you everything he can, with a level of care that’s almost overwhelming. And even though he’s gentle, don’t get it twisted—he’s still a tease. He’s the kind of man who’ll leave marks on your skin, a subtle reminder that you're his. But it's all in the way he leads, in that steady hand that takes yours, guiding you through every little moment.

There’s nothing loud about Crowe—other than his moans and whining. I SWEAR he has pretty moans.

He doesn’t demand anything and doesn’t rush you, but he has this way of making you feel like you’re the only person in the room. When he touches you, it’s with a confidence that leaves you breathless but also comforted. He’ll press his forehead against yours, his hand guiding yours down to your stomach, just so you can feel his bulge inside you,how much he wants you, how much he’s thinking about you at that moment.

There’s no need for words—just that connection, that intense eye contact that says everything.

But yeah, he’ll also let you think you have the upper hand for a minute. Let you believe you’ve got him cornered, like you're finally taking control… only for him to flip the switch, regaining control without you even realizing.

With Crowe, it’s not about begging or pleading for pleasure—it’s about your happiness, your satisfaction. His version of dominance is the kind that wraps around you like a warm blanket, soft and cozy. He just wants to see you smile, hear you laugh—moan, and whine under him, and know that every moment spent with him is full of happiness.

So, if you're into a soft dom who values deep emotional connection, tenderness, and affection, Crowe’s your man! He just wants you to trust him, to let go and let him care for you. Let him be there for you in every single way, in every moment.

And in that, he gives you all the security you’ll ever need.

✑ Praise (giving + receiving)

Crowe is all about Praise, and affection through words. Imagine him pulling you close, whispering in your ear while his fingers gently trace patterns along your skin.

“You’re such a good girl for me, look at how well you take me, love. That’s my girl, always so ready for me, aren’t you?” His words make you feel safe, wanted, and cherished.

He doesn’t wait for you to ask for reassurance—he gives it freely, letting you know how much he appreciates having you around, and how much he loves seeing you smile. And when it comes to your body? He knows every inch of it like he’s got a personal map of your every curve and spot. He might even joke, “No one will ever know you like I do. I’ve ruined you for everyone else, haven’t I?”

Crowe has this vibe about him, like he’s always hungry to make sure you're feeling amazing, but don’t forget to show him some love, too. He thrives on hearing you praise him, especially when you whisper how much you need him, and how much he’s doing for you. The sound of your voice, the words you say—they get to him, melt him down until his heart's pounding.

Now and then, he’ll pull back, checking in on you, “You okay? Am I pushing you too far?” It’s not just about the rush for him. He wants you to be comfortable, to be in sync with him as he takes you through everything, slow and steady, giving you all that love. “That’s it, you're doing so well,” he’ll say, his voice smooth like syrup, making sure you know you're adored.

But here’s the thing: if you keep praising him, or if you’re the one in control, just wait. Crowe’s mouth? It’ll get filthy. AND I MEAN FILTHY. He can’t help it, don't be mean now...

I mean, you can. You giving him head? Taking his cock deep inside your throat, feeling he's about to cum, then you pulled back, teasing him. He'll say, "Please, my love, you were doing so good on my cock—please, please, keep going, I need that tongue of yours."

One of his favorite things is when you’re so into it that he can just forget what you say and speak directly to you, but in a way that’ll make your body react before your mind even catches up. Like, he’ll whisper, “God, you taste so damn good. Missed me, huh? Just wanna be filled up, don't you?”

His words drip against you, his eyes dark with heat, like he's speaking to your body, not even acknowledging your moans. “Such a good fucking pussy. Always making me feel so damn good. Want me to stuff you full, hm?”

And when it’s all done? Crowe doesn’t just drop it and move on. He’s got aftercare down to an art. He’ll guide you through it, keep you close, making sure you’re okay, settled, and cared for, getting ready to do it all again whenever you’re ready!

✑ Experimentalist

Crowe is the kind of man who never wants to leave any stone unturned, especially when it comes to experiences.

There was something about him that screamed experimentalist—like he needed to try everything, no matter how wild or unconventional. When it came to relationships, he was always up for anything, which meant he'd probably had more relationship experiences than most people you knew.

His mind is open, impossibly so, and he had an insatiable curiosity that could never be satisfied. He’d never form an opinion on something without diving in and getting his first-hand taste. If there was something new to try, something out-of-the-box—Crowe was there, ready to explore.

And honestly? He didn’t even need you to ask twice. If you suggested something wild, he’d be all in—his enthusiasm infectious, his curiosity never-ending.

However, he's pretty vanilla when it comes to experimenting, so don't expect him to go TOO hardcore. If there's a kink suited to his taste and he masters it? Oh, Babe, you'll feel it—so much in fact.

Take ropes, for example. Blindfolds? Handcuffs? Oh, he is intrigued. But, again, don’t expect anything brutal. He isn't the type to be into floggers or paddles; no, pain isn't needed for his skills. It is his anticipation. The slow burn of him carefully tying you up, not in a rush, but with the kind of patience that made every moment last longer.

When his hands hovered over your skin, it wasn’t just touch—it was electric. He’d make sure to linger, let his fingers graze over every inch, just enough to make you shiver, your breath hitching in the air between you. It wasn’t about hurting you, not at all. No, it was all about the build-up—the moment when the ropes or restraints were placed just so, tightening the tension between you both until it was practically unbearable.

And then? When you finally let go, it was a release so sweet and steady that it left you breathless. No rushing, no quick fixes—just a slow, fulfilling pleasure.

Adding on, Crowe loved the idea of restraint. Whether for fun, for art, or for that extra little spark of excitement, there was something about having you completely at his mercy.

And if you ever flipped the script? If he was the one getting tied up? Like I said, Crowe will be just as filthy when he lets his guard down.

✑ Dacryphillia

Okay, hear me out. I know what you’re thinking—"Crowe? He would never hurt me. Why would he want to see me cry?" And I get it, really. This is one of those wild ideas but just stick with me for a second.

You know how he’s all about emotions and deep connections, right? Get it?

He gets this deep fascination with what you feel and show, especially when it’s raw. Here’s where it gets interesting: Dacryphilia. Yeah, I’m talking about that thing where someone gets... well, aroused by tears, by the sound of you sobbing, the whole mess of emotions.

So, let’s imagine this: You’re begging him, pleading for more. Your face is a mess of emotions, eyes watery, tears rolling down your cheeks. And yeah, he’s gonna ask if you’re okay because that’s the kind of man he is—always checking, always making sure. But if you keep begging for more? Oh, that’s when it gets dangerous.

Each desperate plea of yours, each tremor in your voice, just fuels this fire inside him, an all-consuming fire. His eyes? They’re practically glowing, deep blue, and locked on you like he's drowning in you, in every little thing you’re feeling.

You can feel him there, so close you can almost taste his breath on your skin. His lips brush against your ear, a soft, teasing whisper sending shivers down your spine. "So desperate for me already, huh? We haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet..." His voice is low, and dangerous, like he’s savoring every second of this.

You know he’s enjoying this. Every inch of him is hooked, and once he has you like this, there’s no going back.

Crowe’s could be teasing you for what feels like hours, driving you wild with a mix of pleasure and frustration. He’s pulled every bit of sensation from you, your body trembling with each orgasm, each touch—until you’re left aching for more. You’ve come undone on his fingers, his tongue, but now, you’re desperate in a way that makes your chest ache. You need him, inside of you, filling you up, but he’s holding back. Just barely, he brushes against you, grinning at the whine that slips from your lips.

His head teases your entrance, and you can’t stop yourself from begging, voice shaky, "Please... Please, please." You repeated. Tears burn at the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision as they fall helplessly. The emptiness without him feels unbearable.

Crowe tilted his head, the smirk on his face practically dripping with playful mockery. “Just please?” He dragged the word out slowly, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Tell me what you want. Can’t do anything unless you say it. What is it you’re begging for?” His hand slid up your stomach, hand pushing lightly as if testing the waters.

He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear, the playful glint in his eyes shifting into something darker, more calculating. “You want me to fill you up, don’t you?”

His grin stretched wider as you stumbled over your words, desperate and disordered, pleading for more. He could tell you were unraveling, and it only pushed him further, each whimper was like a small victory.

“You’re falling apart, love,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you need... just say the word.” You could barely focus as the desperation built into your chest. His control over you was unnerving, yet exhilarating. The tears on your cheeks were a mix of frustration and need, a silent scream for him.

“I need you, Crowe. Please...” Your voice was broken, but he was the one who was in control, studying the way you reacted like a willing experiment.

Crowe’s hand lifts gently to your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears streaming down your face. He gives you a soft grin, his voice low and teasing. “Already crying for me, huh?” he murmurs, almost amused. His thumb, slick with your tears, slips past your lips, letting you taste the salty remnants of your emotions. "We’ve just started," he adds, a soft chuckle escaping him.

Before you can respond, his hips jerk forward, pushing into you with one swift, forceful motion. The shock of it makes your breath catch, and Crowe can’t help but smirk, his eyes glinting with that dangerous, experimental gleam.

Every move, calculated and deliberate, is part of his twisted exploration. And you? You’re the willing subject.

✑ 𝓈𝑜𝓁

Sol is described as a “stinky basement-dwelling yandere”—ngl, this alone made me laugh. He’s a quiet kid, the one who lingered at the edges of every room, observing, never quite fitting in.

Beneath his reserved exterior was a complexity most couldn’t fathom. He’s incredibly smart, with a sharpness that slipped through his words when he spoke, though he rarely bothered to. His talents leaned toward the arts, paintings, and writings.

And yet, at the end of the day, Sol isn’t exactly smooth. He was hopelessly inexperienced when it came to relationships. He gets no bitches, and honestly, he probably doesn’t even try. But in his inexperience is a certain rawness, and once you did get to know him, he’ll flirt or charm you. But before, he just watched and wanted.

Now, let’s address the question: Can you see Sol as kinky?

Yes, let’s not sugarcoat it—he is kinky asf. Of course, he is. There was no way someone as quiet and repressed as Sol didn’t have a horny side, one he tried to keep buried but couldn’t fully hide due to his love for you.

✑ Switch (A Pervert…)

Now, about Sol’s... preferences.

From reading his relationship information card and playing the game. He is a paradox, a Switch in every sense of the word. He didn’t neatly fit into the mold of “always dominant” or “forever submissive.” Oh no, that would be far too mundane for someone like him. He's not a standard yandere people.

Sol is a man of extremes, a “pervert” in the most endearing, shameless sense of the word. He believed in living freely, without the shackles of societal expectations or traditional constraints. Ethics, morality, conventional roles—he’d toss them aside without hesitation if they stood in the way of his desires.

When he takes the reins as Dominant, Sol is the type to lean into theatrics, pushing boundaries with a devilish grin and that mischievous gleam in his eyes. He had a talent for making the experience unforgettable, for making you feel as though the entire world had melted away, leaving only the two of you. But when the tables turned, when Sol found himself in the more submissive role, he’d throw himself into it with equal fervor.

He’d challenge you to prove your worth, tease and push until you stepped up to the plate, and then—when you finally did—he’d surrender so completely that it'll feel like a victory worth savoring.

To Sol, sex and relationships weren’t just about power dynamics or tradition. They were a playground for exploration, a place where the only rule was to follow what felt right. With his “anything goes” mentality, Sol turned every interaction into a kaleidoscope of passion and unpredictability.

As mentioned, Sol, can’t help himself when it comes to you.

Let’s say he has this thing—Voyeuristic Disorder, to be precise, a fancy word for being a pervert. Dosn't care to see anyone else naked. Only you he wishes to see. He was obsessed with watching you, whether you knew it or not. In public or private, it didn’t matter.

He just liked being there, lurking in the shadows, soaking in every moment. Watching you do the most intimate things, completely unaware that he was there.

There was something so exhilarating about seeing you—your bare skin, the way you moved, the little things you did when you thought no one was watching. He couldn’t resist. The way your body reacted, the sounds you made when you didn’t know he was there—it was all he needed.

Deadass, I’m shocked that the creator of the game never added a specific scene where you were taking care of yourself in bed—you freak, oblivious to him sneaking a peek from the window, his hand on his cock, jacking himself off, doing exactly what he does best. Watching.

He didn’t let societal norms dictate how he expressed himself or who he loved. He was unapologetically himself—messy, chaotic, and a little too intense for most people’s taste. But for those brave enough to step into his world, you, well, if you picked him, that is.

Sol will offer an experience unlike any other: one filled with unrelenting honesty, unbridled passion, and a love that refuses to be anything less than extraordinary.

✑ Praise (Receiving)

Sol isn't the type of man you’d peg as desperate for validation—at least, not at first glance. His sharp, confident exterior gave the impression of someone who had the world at his feet, who didn’t flinch under pressure or crack beneath judgmental stares.

But peel back the layers of this supposed nonchalant and cool type of man, and you’d find a truth that was much more human, much more raw. Sol craved praise. Why? Perhaps it was the lack of it throughout his life. His track record for romance was, let’s say, less than impressive. Not because he lacked charm or good looks—he had both in spades—but because his overbearing aura and unapologetic eccentricities tended to drive most people away.

They didn’t understand him, couldn’t see past the way he challenged conventions. He wore his "loser" title like armor. After all, who cared if he didn’t have admirers lined up at his door? He didn’t need anyone... right? Yet, when someone, such as you, did manage to offer him an honest compliment, something sincere, it was like watching a dam break.

His confident smirk would falter for a second, his eyes softening, betraying the vulnerability he worked so hard to conceal. Sol wasn’t accustomed to receiving love—real, genuine love—and when it came, it hit him like a truck

✑ Masochist

The first time you noticed Sol’s tendency to endure pain, you’d thought it was just his stubborn nature. He’s always been the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve when it came to you—raw, unfiltered, and unapologetically vulnerable. But as time went on, you began to see something deeper beneath that tough, rebellious exterior.

Sol wasn’t just someone who endured pain; he seemed to embrace it…? almost thrive on it, especially when it comes to you.

Sol is, without a doubt, a masochist. Not in the twisted, sadistic sense, but in an almost heartbreaking way. He’d do anything to please you, to earn your attention—even if it meant enduring the unendurable.

He could never be a sadist. No, he loved you too much to ever inflict pain on you, physically or emotionally. The very thought of hurting you would make his stomach churn. Instead, he channeled all his devotion into being by your side, no matter the cost.

There were moments when his tendencies became painfully obvious. Like he gets into fights back to back, defending himself or you—for example, the movie theater bathroom or the Campus library (With or without.)

You hadn’t/have even been there to witness it—Sol hadn’t wanted you to see him like that, bruised and bloody. But when you found out later, he brushed it off with that crooked grin of his, the one that hid just how far he’d go for you. “It’s nothing,” he’d said, wiping the blood from his lip. “They deserved it for talking about you like that.”

Or that time with Crowe. It had been an innocent moment, just you laughing at something Crowe said, but to Sol, it might as well have been a dagger to his chest. He clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white, nails digging into his palms until they drew blood. He didn’t want to feel that way—jealousy mixed with self-loathing—but he couldn’t help it. Watching you walk away with someone else, even for a moment, was unbearable.

It wasn’t that he enjoyed the pain; it was just that he could handle it, even when it tore him apart inside.

And in the quiet, intimate moments, Sol’s masochistic streak became something else entirely. If you picked him willingly, He’ll trust you, and loved you, enough to let down every last defense he had. He didn’t just endure pain; with you, he could find meaning in it.

A sharp bite, nails dragging down his back—he shivered under your touch, his body responding in ways he didn’t fully understand but didn’t question. For him, it wasn’t just about the sensation; it was about the connection, the way it brought him closer to you.

Masochism, for Sol, wasn’t about pain tolerance. It wasn’t about how much he could take. It was about the way he found a strange, twisted kind of comfort in it. The pain wasn’t the point; it was the context, the giver—you. Sol would never seek out pain for its own sake, but if it was for you, if it meant being close to you, he’d endure anything.

Even in the game, he seemed to attract hardship like a magnet, always the one taking the hits—physically and emotionally. Whether it was the bullies who thought he was an easy target or the way he seemed to hurt himself just to prove his devotion to you, Sol carried it all with a quiet, unshakable resolve. Because, at the end of the day, it wasn’t about the pain. It was about you.

And he’d never stop. For Sol, loving you wasn’t just a choice—it was a part of who he was. If being close to you meant enduring the worst the world could throw at him, he’d take it all with a smile. Because that’s who Sol is. A damn masochist.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

✑ Somnophillia

It was inevitable, wasn’t it? Everyone could see this coming from a mile away—there was simply no other possibility. Sol, in all his twisted complexity, had long blurred the line between obsession and affection, his love taking on forms most would never dare to comprehend.

Some might accuse him of holding darker urges, like necrophilia, drawn to the lifelessness of the dead. But no, that isn’t Sol. Despite his obsessions, there was a deep-rooted sentimentality within him—a refusal to let go, to lose. If anything, he had made it clear in his own hauntingly poetic way: he’d rather die with you than live without you.

Yet, that didn��t mean his desires were any less unnerving. No, Sol’s particular brand of affection manifested in somnophilia, a fascination with the vulnerability of sleep, the beauty of your unconscious form. To him, those moments were sacred—your body relaxed, your mind adrift in dreams. It was when he felt closest to you, unguarded and free from the chaos of the waking world.

Before your relationship, it started innocuously enough—or so it seemed. He’d find ways to end up at your apartment, invited by some pretense or perhaps even through sheer charisma. And then, ever so subtly, he’d lace your drink with something to make you drowsy, to keep you from suspecting as his fingers ghosted on you.

You lay there, utterly still, utterly serene, your chest rising and falling with the kind of peaceful rhythm that seemed to still the chaos of the world around you.

It was maddening, the way you looked so untouched by the noise that haunted him, your lips slightly parted, the barest whisper of breath escaping them. Every exhale was a siren call, soft and unassuming, but it gripped him like a vice.

His gaze wandered, helplessly drawn down the curve of your cheek to your lips. They looked soft, and inviting in a way that felt almost cruel. He wanted to press his own to them, to taste whatever peace you’d found and see if he could borrow just a fraction of it for himself.

But it wasn’t just your lips. His eyes traced lower, following the lines of your body, the way your clothes clung to you, hinting at the form beneath. He shouldn’t be thinking like this—he knew he shouldn’t. And yet the thought of you, warm and pliant beneath him, invaded his mind, unrelenting.

He swallowed hard, trying to shake it off, but the more he fought, the more vivid the thoughts became. The sound of your soft sighs, the way you’d move under his touch, how you’d look at him—not like this, not sleepily and unaware, but awake, wanting.

God, he was losing it.

Sol leaned back, running a hand through his hair, forcing his gaze away from you for a moment. But it didn’t matter—your image was burned into his mind, and there was no escape. Watching you sleep was his guilty pleasure, though his guilt barely lasted long enough to stop him from pressing further.

Once the two of you were together, the dynamics shifted, but only slightly. Sol’s obsession deepened, and the lines of consent became more of a gray haze in his mind. To him, love was devotion—complete and all-encompassing. And if you loved him, shouldn’t you accept him entirely? Shouldn’t you trust him to care for you, even when you weren’t awake to see it?

He was careful, always so careful with you, so don’t worry!

His lips found their way to the sensitive curve of your inner thigh, his movements slow and deliberate as if savoring every second of this quiet moment. You stirred faintly, a sleepy whimper escaping your lips as the warmth of his mouth brushed against you, teasing and tender.

Sol’s hands gripped your hips gently but firmly; his fingers splayed across your skin to hold you in place. You tried to shift, your body instinctively responding to the soft, wet pressure of his tongue on your needy cunt, but his strength was unyielding.

“Shh,” he murmured, his voice a low, gravelly whisper in the stillness. One hand slid up to brush a stray lock of hair from your face, his thumb lingering for a moment as he marveled at the serene expression you wore, so unaware of the devotion he poured into every touch. “You’re even more beautiful like this,” he breathed, his words an intimate confession meant only for the dark.

To Sol, this meant everything.

This was the essence of love itself—intimacy beyond words, a bond that transcended anything others could hope to understand. He wasn't like anyone else; he knew that, and perhaps that’s what made this feel so special. So sacred. There was a quiet possessiveness in the way he worshiped you, a deep yearning to etch himself into every corner of your being, to ensure no one else could ever touch the part of you that belonged to him.

And as you stirred again, a soft moan escaping your lips, Sol smirked against your skin, the faintest edge of smug satisfaction curling at the corner of his mouth. You might not fully wake, but you’d feel him—his touch, his adoration, eventually his cock. You’d know, even in sleep, that you were his world.

To be with him, you’d have to accept all of him. Every tender smile, every soft whisper... and every shadowed obsession that came with it.

· ─────── ⋆⋅ 🝣 ⋅⋆ ─────── ·

#the kid at the back x reader #the kid at the back crowe #the kid at the back sol #solivan brugmansia #jericho ichabod #tkatb #tkatb crowe #tkatb sol #the kid at the back vn #crowe ichabod #crowe x reader #sol x reader #sol brugmansia #tkatb vn #tkatb smut

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demonic0angel · 7 days ago

Note

Dan being forced to go to anger management therapy hosted by Harley Quinn.

(I refuse to believe that Dan would be forced into anything, so this is a Dan in Arkham AU lmao)

Wraith huffed angrily. “And that’s why he deserves pain and suffering.”

Harley stared at him in fascination, tapping a finger on her lips. It had been weeks after their breakout from Arkham, and Wraith was quickly becoming a good friend of the Sirens. It had reached a point where now, he was spilling his secrets over a glass of wine (stolen from a Bruce Wayne-endorsed party), about a boy he used to be and the timeline he came from.

It wasn’t the weirdest thing ever, since this was Gotham after all, but it was still both disturbing and thralling.

Harley could not help but stare as Wraith grumbled to himself, blue eyes flashing crimson and sharp fangs being bared in a snarl. Then she asked, “Did your sister ever say anything about this?”

Wraith huffed and swirled his wine lightly. “She said it’s a form of self-hatred. Because I blame myself for our family’s deaths, I blame Danny too. But I don’t care. We are the same person but we are not the same. He is still human, while I have transcended past mankind to be something greater.” His fingers clenched on the stem of the wine glass. “It’s not fair how he gets to be happy, but I can’t.”

A god complex, a superiority complex, and an inferiority complex, all born from the loss of family and self-identity. His psyche was absolutely damaged by his previous experiences, and trauma had made him into something very, very twisted. It was probably true that he was not human anymore, but it was so interesting how he had abandoned his humanity so thoroughly and thrown it aside.

“You can’t?” Harley asked. “Or you won’t?”

Wraith’s expression twisted. “I can’t.”

That didn’t seem right.

He was happy when eating red meat and drinking expensive wine. He was rather happy when they went shopping and included him in their jokes and games. He was plenty happy when he talked about his sisters. He was very happy when interacting with Nightwing, who seemed to effortlessly peel away his layers to reveal a playful, gentle personality that did not seem to be a facade.

“You seem happy around Nightwing,” Harley said. “And us. What do you think of that?”

Wraith glared at her lightly, but he didn’t seem angry, not like how he was when he talked about his little brother, his other self. The venom in his voice and eyes when he talked about his younger self would’ve been better deserved if he was talking about the Anti-Christ, but Harley didn’t voice this.

“Nightwing has the purest soul in this world. It’s strong and beautiful because of how kind it is. It should be a crime to be cruel to it, not when he’s so… good.” His expression gentled and he swirled his wine again before taking a sip. “And you and the others are… nice to me. I don’t want to spoil your fun.”

Harley beamed. “Aww, we like you too, Wraith-y poo!”

Wraith rolled his eyes and took another sip. Harley poured him some more without him asking, and they drank their wine in silence.

Eventually, Harley said, “It’s not healthy to hate yourself so much, y’know? Maybe you don’t want advice, but I think your sister would agree with me. You should let go of the past and live in the present. That timeline doesn’t exist anymore, does it?”

Wraith scowled. “It may not exist anymore, but I came from that timeline. I am who I am because of my family’s deaths and because of Danny.” The hatred in his voice was deep and potent, making Harley shiver. “It can never let me go and I can never let it go either. The past shaped me in ways that cannot be undone.”

Harley took a sip of wine to think. Then she said, “Well. No matter what, me and the girls are here for you. And I think Nightwing really likes you too! Really!”

Wraith hummed, eyes half lidded before he turned and looked at her with a quirk to his lips like a small, genuine smile. “Yes, I know. Thank you, Harley.”

She grinned. “No problem!”

They continued drinking together in companionable silence.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #danny phantom x dc #dp x dc crossover #ask #anon ask #dark danny #dan phantom #dan fenton #harley quinn #dick x dan #bad humor ship #ty for the ask!#dan in arkham au #dick grayson #jazz fenton #danny fenton

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the-bi-space-ace · 13 days ago

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Writing Echo & the effects of Skako Minor

Discussions of trauma, CPTSD, and PTSD.

This will be a lot of personal opinion so take it with a grain of salt but I wanted to touch on writing Echo as someone who has CPTSD. Personally, I think after what he experienced on Skako Minor Echo would have CPTSD. The very basic thing you need to know is that PTSD and CPTSD are two different things. Symptoms overlap, they often get lumped together, but there are differences. From what I have learned from therapy and doctors PTSD happens from a single traumatizing event. Something happened, an accident, violence, etc. and it has stuck with you. CPTSD occurs when someone has multiple traumatizing events throughout their life that all compound. So if you grew up in an abusive household, experienced outside violence, and had several life altering events, that would be the perfect breeding ground for CPTSD. It is not one event. CPTSD comes from the fact that it is multiple things on top of each other, all working together to make your PTSD complex in nature since it comes from a web of things instead of one event.

After Skako I think Echo would suffer from CPTSD mainly because he has experienced several traumatizing events over and over again. The explosion, being tortured, being experimented on over and over again, and finding out he has been used as a weapon, along with his injuries sustained in the battle of Anaxes all compile together. This is what I base this off of.

With that in mind I wanted to talk a little bit about some symptoms and how this could translate to Echo as a character.

One can experience shaking (imagine Crosshair early season 3), paranoia, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping. I have seen Echo portrayed often with nightmares, which I think is a great route to go, however I want to offer up other ways you can show his difficulty living with CPTSD. Physical symptoms are one thing and definitely make life more difficult but what about the mental ones?

One challenge can be constantly feeling like the other shoe is going to drop. There can be waves of feeling okay and stable and then other periods of constant vigilance and anxiety. When things are good you could think ‘how much longer until it is all gone? How long do I deserve safety and happiness?’ These fears are often completely unrealistic but your brain cannot determine that in the moment.

I think Echo could struggle with this. I want to imagine that this is part (not all) of the reason he wants to badly to do more and part of why he does not really want to retire. He doesn’t understand safety anymore. He’s still more comfortable in chaos and vigilance. Safety would likely feel unsafe to him. At least, for a while. Truthfully, survivors guilt and his own loyalty and personality are all wrapped up in there too but imagine if there was another layer.

What if he is clinging so desperately to helping because tomorrow he could be swept away again. Or he won’t be able to save anyone. Or somehow Tambor will catch up with him. Or maybe, just maybe, he becomes the algorithm again. He snaps right back into it mid mission. He’s taken over and can’t be saved. He attacks his loved ones. He can’t help it. He could hurt them. What if he hurts them! Safety may frighten him so deeply he can’t even begin to think about it. His brain won’t let him. It won’t let him cling to that thought because it can’t be real it will be danger. It has to be.

It doesn’t have to be rational because CPTSD is not rational. Your brain and body are trying to protect you. It has learned that you are in danger and it is not comfortable with safety anymore. It will protect you even if you are perfectly safe. Even if that means telling you lies.

And none of this makes him weak. He’s confident in his skills, he’s a force to be reckoned with. He’s lethal and loyal and kind hearted and not at all weak. His strength and compassion are things to look up to. I love Echo. He’s dedicated to saving his loved ones, he’s been through so much, and he has never ever given up despite the challenges. I think he is wonderful and such a rich character for storytelling. It certainly isn’t necessary to include this when writing Echo but if you’re looking for other ways for his trauma to manifest this may be an interesting route to explore.

have the best gif of Echo ever as a treat for reading this far

#the bad batch #tbb echo #arc trooper echo #echo bad batch #the bad batch echo #Star Wars #ptsd #complex ptsd #fanfiction

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adinfernumadinfinitum · 2 months ago

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Welcome to my silly little fan theory @emmg:

How Raphael is the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3…

…or how I give him more importance than I should.

DISCLAIMER:

In this ‘dissertation,’ I present my take on things based on Dungeons and Dragons 5e lore from the Forgotten Realms universe, along with fandom theories and headcanons where they suit me. This is NOT an in-depth analysis of anything, so I won’t be reciting specific quotes, etc.

I repeat, this is just MY take on things. If a similar theory already exists, feel free to reach out, and I’ll gladly tag the material!

Oh, and there are a lot of spoilers about, well, everything, so read at your own risk ⚠️

I thank the lovely @bitethedevil for allowing me to tag their posts, making it easier on me so I don’t have to write everything out! I also want to take this moment to appreciate their work and contributions to this fandom! ☺️

Introduction

Baldur’s Gate 3 is a brilliant, complex, multi-layered game filled with multiple villains, heroic figures, and a plot that weaves players in seamlessly. That’s why we love this game—at least, that’s why I do—the gripping storyline and its faceted characters.

The game is set in the Forgotten Realms with DnD lore and rules, while still adding and maintaining its own unique features and twists.

But what if we entirely take a look at it from DnD lore perspective?

Section 1: Raphael as the core character in Baldur’s Gate 3

Fans of the Emperor might argue with me here, but oh man, have you seen how many pies Raphael has his fingers in?

This narcissistic little shit of a cambion plotted his grand design to take the Crown of Karsus for over 2,000 years, planning everything with terrifying precision and putting in a staggering amount of effort—all to manipulate Tav or Durge into giving him the crown.

To understand just how far back his scheming goes, we have to start with the fall of Netheril. As Raphael himself tells us, this is where it all began, and when his father seized the crown, it became impossible for Raphael to obtain it himself.

Baator—the Nine Layers of Hell—has its own system and rules. The plane is aligned as lawful evil, and by its laws, anyone who breaks them is punished; in other words, theft is a crime (don’t try this at home edition).

Am I going to explain the system and rules of the Nine Hells? Hell no, or I’ll be sitting here until next Halloween. Sorry, maybe in a separate post sometime (or not) 😭

So Raphael had to get creative if he wanted to get his greedy claws on the crown.

You can read about how much Raphael’s involvement is actually found in the game Baldur’s Gate 3 here.

What’s relevant for this ‘dissertation’ are the following points, which all show how he orchestrates the plot:

1. Raphael, Vlaakith, and the Astral Prism —

Raphael even plots to capture Orpheus. Not personally, of course, but with the knowledge that it could benefit him and would even serve its purpose in the future. This is a crucial detail.

However, I don’t believe Raphael would craft or have someone craft an item like the Astral Prism, as well as the bindings of Orpheus (the mask, chains, and binding crystals) and the Orphic Hammer. It’s more likely these objects already existed in the Hells, with Raphael profiting by dealing with them.

Sadly there is no official information on that, I really find that interesting.

As for why the Orphic Hammer is called Orphic Hammer - why is Orpheus called Orpheus? He’s a liberator for his people, having inherited the power of Mother Gith, who freed the Gith from mind flayer enslavement. The character of Orpheus draws heavily from Orpheus in Greek mythology, a symbol of liberation, love, and the attempt to rescue a soul from the bonds of death. The term “Orphic” reflects this sense of breaking free from constraints or seeking transformation (of course, it has other meanings, too, but this one feels like what the developers were aiming for).

So the hammer’s name has both symbolic depth and a bit of pun, as it’s intended to free the character Orpheus from his chains.

ANYWAY

2. Raphael, Moonrise Towers, and the Gauntlet of Shar —

The amount of interwoven contracts Raphael has made in the Shadow Cursed Lands is suspicious, and each and every one of them is too , an important point.

Isn’t it just a bit too convenient that Ketheric’s misery plays right into Raphael’s hands? The Shadow-Cursed Lands—Reithwin, once ruled by Ketheric, formerly full of Selunite worshippers but ruined by schemes of the Dark Lady who turned a grieving worshipper of her sister into a Shar follower and leader of an army of Dark Justiciars—is a whole breeding ground for contracts and a stage for Raphael’s play.

Hold on, I’m not implying that I believe Raphael had a hand in Shar’s mischief here, but I do think Raphael handpicked Ketheric, a grieving and obsessed madman (a truly tragic character, honestly), to be an unwitting pawn in his schemes, without directly involving himself. To do this, he contracted with desperate beings like the Architect, Yurgir, and the last Dark Justiciar.

To understand why Raphael would even need Ketheric, we have to look a step further.

3. Raphael and my beloved raccoon boy, Gortash —

Raphael buying Gortash from his parents was a calculated move and the final piece in the Netherbrain plot scheme.

I believe Raphael specifically chose Enver Gortash, a boy with potential, for his plans to get the Crown of Karsus.

Look, Gortash is anything but dumb; in fact, he’s the exact opposite. He learned the ropes in Hell, literally imprisoned in Raphael’s House of Hope. All jokes aside about pot-scrubbing duty and overhearing Raphael and Haarlep getting it on, Gortash is a quick learner.

Raphael just had to watch as Gortash escaped the House of Hope with vital information about the crown. With this, Raphael set up an ambitious, cunning man with the drive to steal the crown.

And this is where Ketheric returns to the picture. Ketheric, the chosen of Myrkul; Gortash, the chosen of Bane; and Durge, the chosen of Bhaal.

As for how Raphael might have gotten his hands on Durge? I’ll leave that as the theory’s plot hole.

I could fill it with headcanons—like Gortash and Durge knowing each other even before Gortash was sold—but that feels a bit far-fetched.

Actually, all of this is a bit far-fetched, but hey, it’s my silly little theory.

But hey again, we’re slowly coming to a conclusion how Raphael is the mastermind behind BG3, do you see my vision?

All Raphael needed was patience. The chosen ones, Gortash and Durge, set the stage by planning the Netherbrain coup and, in stealing the crown, executed Raphael’s plan. All they needed was the third chosen, Ketheric, to carry out the rest of the plot: building the Absolute’s army, etc., the rest we know...

So, what was left? Just someone desperate enough to make a deal with Raphael and actually hand over the Crown of Karsus. And how would he pull that off?

✨The Tadpole Gang✨

Every single one of them fits the bill. Especially if the player chooses Durge.

The next question is: how could he manipulate the group if they were under the Absolute’s influence? Well, that’s where the Emperor comes onto the stage.

Because, hear me out one more time: isn’t it convenient that the Emperor, of all people, finds the Astral Prism? A figure obsessed with freedom and manipulation, ambitious and clever, who would serve perfectly as a kind of protection shield from the Elder Brain’s influence for the gang? And to that even a disposable figure as it is a mind flayer who would not be trusted in the end.

(Naturally, in the game the player is the ultimate executional force, making any kind of higher plan or scheme either perfect or useless)

Nevertheless, this is as far as I will dive into this specific pond.

I just think it adds up nicely.

But Björni, if you have a Section 1, what about a Section 2? you might ask. Well, here it comes…

… how this ‘dissertation’ is actually about Mephistopheles being the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Section 2: Raphael as the Scapegoat

DnD’s lore about fiends—and, specifically, cambions—teaches us that they’re doomed to fail from birth. While they may think they’re in control of their schemes, they’re actually playing into the hands of their fiendish parent.

Ever wondered why Mephistopheles would even bother devouring Raphael if we defeat him? Sure, cambion sons are nourishing (yum yum), but given Mephistopheles’ personality, I’d guess he does it to humiliate his son, even in death, for being a failure—a failure to retrieve the crown for his father.

But wait, Mephistopheles already had the crown—why would he bother plotting all of this just to get it back? Isn’t that a bit over-the-top, Björni?

Bear with me: it’s not officially written anywhere, but it’s more or less canon based on what we know of the Archdevils Asmodeus and Mephistopheles.

Asmodeus rules the Hells, while Mephistopheles, as the Archduke of the 8th layer, Cania, is arguably the second most powerful being in Baator. Mephistopheles has never stopped dreaming of overthrowing Asmodeus, even after repeatedly failing miserably. But if he openly tried to use the crown against Asmodeus, it would be a direct affront, and Asmodeus would have shut it down from the start.

Mephistopheles has other children besides Raphael, and Raphael isn’t exactly useless, he’s actually the complete opposite. Strategically, it wouldn’t make sense to discard such a puppet (call him son)—unless Raphael had done something atrocious. And for someone as mighty as Mephistopheles, controlling his little cambion son would be child’s play. So, then why does Raphael hate his father so much, and why is Raphael ‘residing’ in Avernus?

As we know, Avernus is the armpit of Baator, a plane for exiles and outcasts.

I think Mephistopheles intentionally filled his relationship with Raphael with hatred, so Raphael’s ambition to overthrow his father would ignite and one day serve him. When Mephistopheles got the Crown of Karsus, unable to wield it himself, he set the stage for his son’s scheme—by casting Raphael aside, Mephistopheles set him on the path to steal the crown, with Mephistopheles only indirectly involved in overthrowing Asmodeus. Raphael would do the dirty work—taking over the other layers—before ultimately facing his father, who could then just snatch the crown from him. And yes, I do believe Mephistopheles is arrogant enough to think he’d still be more powerful than his son, even with a god-like artifact. He has that bloated of an ego.

BUT (Nr. 36,252), what about Asmodeus? Wouldn’t he step in and crush the plan?

Here’s the thing: Asmodeus generally doesn’t mind if his archdukes fight for control of their layers, as long as it doesn’t threaten his supreme authority or destabilize Hell’s hierarchy. In fact, he encourages a bit of rivalry and ambition among his archdevils, as infighting serves his purposes.

And can you imagine THE Asmodeus being worried about an over-ambitious cambion?

However, this leads to the TRUE instigator and the true subject of this ‘dissertation’…

… how Asmodeus is actually the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Section 3: Asmodeus doing things, just because

Joke’s on you—it’s been about Asmodeus all along, because even if he’d lose (not that he ever would—he’s just that powerful), he’d claim at the last minute that it was his plan all along. Losing trusted allies? What a bunch of traitors—perfect excuse to clean house. Losing Baator? Finally, he was sick of the job.

All jokes aside, Asmodeus being the cunning bastard he is, would likely pull off everything mentioned above.

To understand why he’d even bother, let’s take a quick (really quick, this is already getting too long) dive into his background and shenanigans in DnD.

Throughout DnD’s development from 1e to 5e, Asmodeus has gone through quite the evolution, eventually becoming a Greater Deity, the Embodiment of Evil, and one of the mightiest beings in existence, rivaled only by Ao.

While 5e keeps things vague to allow player interpretation, Asmodeus has consistently been the most powerful entity in the Hells—a schemer, strategist, and supreme manipulator.

(Here’s the only quote I’ll reference:) “[…] His sinister machinations could take centuries, if not millennia, to come to fruition, and his master plans extended across the entire multiverse. His labyrinthine, insidious intrigues could seem inexplicable to most outside observers, for Asmodeus let even his own servants stew in fear of his next move. With all the planes as his board, the Lord of Lies maneuvered the forces of evil like chess pieces in his grand designs, slowly and subtly manipulating everyone from deities to, when needed, lowly mortals.”

He’s described as being a thousand steps ahead of everyone. And while most of his plans serve greater purposes beyond even godly comprehension, some things he does just because—just for fun.

CONCLUSION

Of course Asmodeus knew Mephistopheles had the crown. Of course he knew Mephistopheles would never use it openly against him. And of course he knew Mephistopheles would keep scheming to use it indirectly, bringing his cambion son Raphael into the game.

Why would Asmodeus let all this happen, and why am I saying he’s the real mastermind?

Like already mentioned, Asmodeus often (indirectly) encourages and manipulates his archdukes to scheme and fight among themselves as a means to reinforce his dominance, foster survival of the fittest, and test loyalty within the infernal hierarchy. However, he maintains strict boundaries, and any conflict that risks his supreme authority, disrupts Hell’s role in the multiverse, or leads to excessive chaos would be swiftly and ruthlessly quashed. In Asmodeus’s mind, such rivalries are a useful tool—as long as they remain safely under his control.

In my view, the Crown of Karsus was never a real threat to him; this whole plot served his entertainment, tested loyalties, or helped him gauge his chess pieces.

And that’s how Asmodeus is the real mastermind behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Thanks for reading this mass of nonsense ❤️

Why I even bothered with all this shit? It’s one of the key plot points in my longfic, Ah, You Devil!

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llamagoddessofficial · 1 year ago

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So we've seen your Error headcannons, can we get your Nightmare ones since you're in a romantical mood?

Oh can you.....

He's a very complex individual. Under all that rage, when he likes you and wants your company, he's actually a very calm, intelligent and eloquent lover. Princely, if you will. He likes hearing you talk, and is very good at roping you into chatting about your hobbies for hours while he just adoringly stares. He enjoys the arts, music, poetry... once he finds someone he wants, you'd never even know how much anger he's set aside.

(Unlike Error, he's aware that constant anger isn't a very attractive trait)

While he's first starting to develop feelings, it's one of those situations where you won't realise how much he likes you until you see the way he acts around other people. You might think he feels neutral about you, at best- he talks to you, but never about himself, seeming to prefer when you're the one talking. Maybe chortles at a joke every now and then. But overall, he's relatively quiet, relatively still-faced... not very outwardly emotional in any manner.

... Then you see how he acts around everyone else. Hair-thin temper that leads to physical violence with anyone who annoys him too long, dismissive and mean about any subject, he tells people who talk too long to shut up and makes underhanded cruel 'jokes' at their expenses. The same tentacles that curl around your hand or stroke your back as he walks by will grab Dust around the head and slam him into the ground because he made a poorly timed joke.

Nightmare has an eye for traditional courtship. Once his heart is set on you, expect bouquets, jewellery, fine evening dining, strolls through midnight gardens, flowery handwritten letters. He carries a locket with your portrait.

You would think his love languages are gift giving and acts of service, considering how often it seems to be the only way he shows love. But deep down... it's actually physical touch. He's just far too afraid to show it.

Nightmare would do well with a physically affectionate partner. Someone who'll cuddle up to him first so has an excuse to snuggle back. But someone less physical would also be good- sometimes he's afraid his aversion to touch will drive away a partner, and somebody who doesn't really mind either way soothes those fears.

You can't lie to him. Well, I mean... you can. But he can sense it, and he'll always know. Whether or not he lets you think he believes you is up to him.

He has a locked box in his castle full of sketches and small oil paint studies of you. You'll know he's finally totally comfortable with you when he politely asks if he can draw you.

His tentacles often act on his true feelings. Whether that's snapping out to choke Killer for asking if you top, or lovingly curling around you when he's half asleep.

... He's actually pretty childish. Especially when in love. Though he's good at hiding it under layers of highborn mannerisms, he fucking hates when there are any potential rivals for your affection. He tends to lash out against the 'rivals' in underhanded manners whenever you're not looking, then really lay on the charm and affection with you to ensure you're not thinking of leaving him. If you're asexual or demi it may not be that big of a deal because he's soothed by your lack of interest in others, but if you're pansexual or bi, it might be a genuine problem that needs addressing.

Call him "my love". He likes feeling like your one and only.

#llamagines #you all have valacre to thank for my adoration of nightmare

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sleepyric · 5 months ago

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Bnha Headcanons ⟢

໑Synopsis໑ How a platonic relationship would develop with them and what’s included (also somewhat of an analysis of character).

໑Characters included໑ Bakugo Katsuki, Kirishima Eijiro, Shoto Todoroki

໑A/N໑ This is my first write since my Wattpad days 8 years ago. Some characters could be a little ooc and there may be grammatical errors. Enjoy ! <3

Word count: 572

Bakugo Katsuki is a complicated and complex man. It’s not new to hear of the many layers this guy has, making it incredibly difficult to break down his barriers. If you’re a new student the probability that he would even regard you as anything but an insignificant extra is slim. It would take a lot for him to even acknowledge you let alone get close to you.

Bakugo Katsuki is the type of guy that would take ages to warm up to you, if ever. If you’re lucky enough to gain his respect, which would only happen because of your powerful quirk or strong willed mindset, it could take a few months. Becoming friends with him would be an even harder feat. Halfway into the year if you managed to gain his respect, maybe just maybe you’d be able to become an acquaintance of his but nothing more.

Being Bakugo Katsuki’s acquaintance would mean you probably are friends with Kirishima as well. Maybe you are in a group chat with Bakusquad, which is how you would’ve gotten Bakugo’s number. If you decided to text him privately, he would give dry one word responses or leave you on read. I could imagine y/n asking for homework help only to receive a simple thumbs down react and a “no”. Of course, if you really wanted help from him specifically it would take a week of constant pestering to get him to crack. He would probably say something like, “if I say yes will you shut the fuck up and stop bothering me?!” Or something along those lines.

As Bakugo Katsuki’s friend, you’re not going to get a lot more. He might be more willing to help you study for upcoming exams, and definitely would want to train with you (it’s more of a competitive thing to him than anything else). I could see him maybe just maybe cooking for his friends but only because you’re “eating unhealthy” and he thinks it’ll make you preform poorly while sparring with him… which would impact the ‘competition’. You might get lucky and drag him to the mall with the Bakusquad once in a blue moon, if it fit his schedule and he felt like it.

Overall, Bakugo Katsuki isn’t an easy person to know on a deeper level, but I don’t think it’s impossible. I’m sure with enough time and patience, along with his personal development/growth over the years would allow you to get closer. It would never be the same as what you expect from other people, so if you want a “normal” friendship he won’t give you that. I think in a way he would end up pushing you to be a better person yourself, fixing any bad routines or habits you might have. Regardless, if you did stick around and managed to gain his respect and companionship he would be there for you when it mattered (in his own way of course).

Kirishima Eijiro is a kind soul, with his own set of flaws. As much of a well loved person as he is, he is also insecure. I imagine his desire to be “manly” stems from feeling like he wasn’t good enough, or a result of being bullied. It’s not unfamiliar to hear him being a sweetheart to everyone, I mean this guy would love to get to know you as a new student. He would offer to show you around because how could he not help someone in an unfamiliar environment?

Kirishima Eijiro loves to help. I think in a way, being well liked by his peers is something he’s always craved yet never received, hence why he tries to be the manliest for everyone. He would hate for anyone to feel the way he did, and maybe still does? With you he’d invite you to sit and eat lunch with him and his friends, or go out to see a movie with them. Always seeking to invite you, and would offer some solid advice if you felt down about anything. It wouldn’t take much to become friends with him.

Once you’re Kirishima Eijiro’s acquaintance, you’re also his friend. I think he kinda skips that part when forming platonic relationships with others. Why not if you like who the other person is, right? Being his friend would be fun. You would be able to go to him for help with anything, really. Need help doing your hair? Awesome, you can even help dye his hair. Don’t want to go to the store alone? Perfect! He’s been dying to grab these new protein bars anyways. Movie nights are a must, you both would have weekly marathons with all your favourite movies. He would also love to train with you, totally not to show off how manly he is or whatever…

Overall, Kirishima Eijiro is the epitome of a green flag. Just don’t forget he has his insecurities. This guy has been through it, feeling like he’s not enough or unlikeable to the rest of society. He probably doubts himself and how others see him as much as he trusts that they are honest and true. It’s always an inner conflict with him, regardless of how he perceives to others on the outside. That’s why, he would do anything for the people he cares about the most. A ride or die type of guy.

Todoroki Shoto is an enigma, honestly. Not so much in a bad way, but with how complicated it is to get a read on the guy. His family troubles clearly contributed to his distance and lack of emotion comprehension. He seems even more challenging than Bakugo. This man is more detached than anyone, and his lack of ability to form proper human connection will make it hard to get acknowledgment from him. If you’re new and interested in him, you’ll have to approach him first.

Todoroki Shoto is icey cold, literally and figuratively. Not that he can’t warm up to you, or doesn’t have the ability to get to know other people it’s just so incredibly difficult for him. He doesn’t want to be a failure, having dealt with feelings like that all throughout his childhood. Never having proper support from anyone, including barely having any friends. He was a loner, so much so that it’s just how he behaves in social settings even now. It’s routine, and his normal. That’s why you would have to show him or give him a reason to want to learn about others.

As Todoroki Shoto’s acquaintance I don’t imagine he would initiate anything. He would probably be a dry texter, but unlike Bakugo it’s not because he doesn’t care, it’s because he’s just like that. Would also find it hard to understand any jokes you might make, taking them quite literally instead. He wouldn’t be unfriendly as an acquaintance per say, but you will often not know how he’s feeling or if he even likes you. That’s why it’s up to you to get to know him, and approach him because if you don’t good luck being friends with him

Once you’re friends with Todoroki Shoto, he’ll comply with any activities you want to do, nonchalantly going along with it. Most hangouts will be going out to grab soba or walks in the park. Simple things that don’t require a lot of socializing or other people. A private guy, prefers to keep to himself. You’ll end up dragging him anywhere social. Since Todoroki is sort of friends with Midoriya, by default y/n would be too. Almost like a trio. Almost.

Overall, Todoroki Shoto is an emotionally distant guy. He doesn’t socialize much, nor does he find platonic connections easy or simple. Despite all of that if you two did manage to become friends you’d be doing most of the work. He might not know how to deal with others emotions, but he would make for an excellent listener. Willingly listening to you rant about everything an anything, just being there and nodding along to what you have to say. He would appreciate that you try so hard to be his friend, knowing that he’s not an easy person to let others in.

#bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima x reader #bakugo katuski #todorki shouto #todoroki x reader #mha #bnha #bnha headcanons #headcanon #character analysis #bnha angst #bnha fluff

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asksythe · 2 years ago

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Dead languages and maybe Wei Ying is long-lost royalty

Today I had a discussion with @pakhnokh regarding why Wei Wuxian didn’t know the deeper layer of meaning behind the Lan forehead band. It was a long discussion on Twitter, so I figured I should just make a post here and leave this information out for anyone who might find it useful.

To start off: The reason why Wei Ying didn't know the deeper layer of meaning of the Lan forehead band was in the book. But it was written in a very opaque way, in one single throw-away line. In the book, when Wei Ying had to copy the Lan rules, he specifically complained that the rules were written in seal script.

The Useless Ye Olde’ Script

Seal script is a script that predated traditional Mandarin. It was infamous for being needlessly complex and having dozens, if not hundreds different dialects and writing methods. Some forms of seal script were entirely different languages altogether. When Qin Shi Huang united ancient China, he burned a lot of books and forced people to adopt a standard way to write, thus cementing traditional Mandarin as a singular language that is still used today, 2000 years after. A way to visualize how complex seal script was, is that there were 22 different ways to write the word 'sword'.

That is how mind-bogglingly complex it was. And worse, it was the source of much conflict in ancient times. To explain it simply, it was supposed to be one language. But if people could not even agree on how to write the same word, then how could they agree on more important things and cease warring against each other?

Language standardization was one of Qin Shi Huang’s greatest achievements, if not the greatest, as it laid the foundation for more peace and eventual unification in later dynasties.

This topic was made into an Academy Award-nominated movie, Hero by Zhang Yimou in 2002.

(the word ‘sword’ that Qin Shi Huang decided on, thus wiping out the other 20+ ways to write the same word)

Dating Mo Dao Zu Shi in real history (or, Wei Ying might actually be long-lost royalty)

In a very interesting turn of events, MXTX has confirmed in her latest interview in Subaru magazine, that the events of MDZS happened during Wei Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties (commonly referred to as the Six Dynasties era by English-speaking historians, even though these two don’t perfectly line up).

Yes, the same Wei 魏 in Wei Ying 魏婴, Wei Wuxian 魏无羡.

So the events in MDZS took place in the era immediately after the fall of the Qin dynasty (caused by Qin Shi Huang’s death and his sons not being able to measure up). Therefore, Wei Ying’s generation is in a time after the language has standardized into a single form.

The Lan rules, at least the first set and the meaning of the forehead band, were written about 500 years before Wei Ying’s generation, at the founding of House Lan. So that would put it squarely in the pre-Qin, pre-lingual-standardization era.

So by Wei Ying’s time, the Lan rules were essentially written in a dead, kinda useless, and very very hard-to-read-because-it-has-some-hundred-different-dialect language.

That’s on top of the fact that it was probably written in the highest level of 书面语 shumianyu (written language) possible. I.e. extremely condensed and truncated (with zero punctuation).

So the Lan rules are more or less a very thick law book of a different nation written in the strictest, most condensed dead language that is in no way, shape, or form still in practical use for Wei Ying (and most other people not Lan). Do you feel like reading it? I don’t.

And that is why Wei Ying never figured out the original meaning of the forehead band despite having copied the rules hundreds of times (first day in class, he was already punished and sentenced to copying the rules 100 times by Lan Qiren).

Because he was just copying the words without really reading them. This was mentioned when Wei Ying asked Lan Wangji the meaning of the Lan forehead band, and Lan Wangji replied with, you have copied the rules so many times and you still don’t know?

But isn’t Wei Ying really well-read and smart, and what about the Wen book?

1/ Wei Ying is smart and well-read. There was one throw-away line in the book that mentioned his having read all the books available to him in Lotus Pier, and that he had read all kinds of trivia (including the Thousand Sores and Hundred Holes curse that got put on Jin Zixun). But it was also stated that he favored practical things or things that interested him. Lan rules in dead, extremely hard to read language are… well… yeah…

There was never any mention in canon where he remembered specific Lan rules unless it was literally beaten into him by teenage Lan Wangji.

2/ In the novel, the Lan rules are singled out as the only materials written in seal script. The Wen books were standard issued to everyone who took part in the Wen education camp. So the chance that it was written in seal script is low to none.

Wei Ying is not the only person who doesn’t know the meaning of the Lan forehead band

Jiang Cheng didn't know either. Jin Ling didn't know either. During the Wen archery competition, when Wei Ying pulled off Lan Wangji's forehead band, he did ask Jiang Cheng what the hell was that, when Lan Wangji and other Lan members reacted like he did something shameful. Jiang Cheng replied with, how the hell would I know? Their house has so many rules. Just stop poking them.

Jin Ling didn't know until the other Lan teenagers told him. The only characters who know this in canon are all members of Lan house. The impression that Wei Ying is the only one who doesn't know is 100 percent fanon. Keep in mind both Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling are clan heirs, so their education and knowledge of other houses absolutely are not low.

In fact, the novel specifically shows that.....the rest of the cultivation world is not that clear on the actual specifics of Lan rules either. This is shown when Jin Zixun pressured Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji into drinking wine, a clear violation of Lan rules, and the rest of the cultivators in the banquet cheered him on.

These cultivators were also heads of Houses or very high-ranking members. Many of them would have studied in Cloud Recess. So again, people who have high education… still know shit all about the actual specifics of Lan rules beyond a vague, general monk-like impression.

About the only other person aside from Wei Ying (and Lan members) who knew the specific rule that Lans do not drink in that banquet was Jin Guangyao, a character whose trademark is high intelligence and extreme social savvy (plus having roomed with Lan Xichen and taken care of him for unknown amount of time right before the Sunshot campaign)

Are there secret parts of the Lan rules?

No. The Lan rules are public. The book is very clear on this. All Lan rules are carved into a massive stone placed at the foot of the mountain where Cloud Recess is, where anyone passing through or coming into House Lan can see it.

This rule stone was first mentioned when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian met for the first time. Wei Ying complained that he didn’t know the rules and why are there so many things forbidden in the Lan rules? Lan Wangji replied with, rules are written on the stone. Go read it yourself.

The second time it was mentioned in the book, was Lan Qiren’s first class. The first thing he did was complained that even with the stone and rules being in open space, nobody bothered to read. So he will read the rules now.

The book mentioned at least two different sets of Lan rules that both need to be obeyed: 礼则篇 Lize Pian (Book of Rites) 上义篇 Shang Yi Pian (Book of Justice). Whether the rules are separated further into more sets or not is unknown.

Why are some Lan rules better known than others?

Because Lan rules are based on 克己復禮 Keji Fuli, a real-life Confucius asceticism that calls for the restraint/purge of one’s ego and to return to the core rites. This is also newly confirmed in MXTX’s new interview, though it has been more or less heavily suggested in the book itself, with House Lan being known as the House of Gentlemen.

Gentlemen here is not the Western ideal of Gentlemen, but rather a Confucius ideal and set of values. Confucius is the person who created this ideal in the first place.

So it’s not that some rules are better known, but rather the entire image of Lan House is a huge pointer as to how they live their life: with great restraint.

#mxtx #mdzs #Wei Ying #Wei Wuxian #Lan House #Lan Wangji #mo dao zu shi

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nctinkverse · 11 months ago

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Promissa Redux - Chapter 2

Synopsis: Despite sharing a year-long relationship with your current boyfriend, an overwhelming fear prevents you from allowing him to bond with your daughter. The upcoming birthday party of your ex-husband, Jaehyun, adds a layer of complexity when you discover he has a new girlfriend and of course it's Valentine's Day.

The night unfolds with a delicate balance of humor and tension as you interact with Jaehyun's friends, attempting to maintain composure in the midst of emotional complexities. The story delves into the intricacies of co-parenting, the lingering shadows of past relationships, and the poignant journey of rediscovering love.

Warnings: minnors do not interact!, for this chapter we've got angst, sooo much angst and fluf.

Pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

Word count: 3.558

Unauthorized copying or translation of this work is strictly prohibited.

----------- Preview, warnings and Chapter 1 --------------------

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Chapter 2 - Valentine's Day

You were dating the same guy for almost a year, he knows your child, but out of fear you never made the effort to get them to get along.

There was always a voice in your head that didn’t let you make them spent more time together, it’s always the knowledge that abuse also comes from we trust, and you never dared to expose your daughter to other man without your supervision.

What type of mom would you be if you let anything bad happen to her just because you wanted a dating life?

That fear was bigger than any of your dreams of marring again.

For you, finding love once in a lifetime was already more than you could ask for.

So, ever since you found the ring box on the floor, fear has gnawed you so bad that you’ve been giving your boyfriend excuses for not seeing him for the past two weeks.

You can’t put it all on Nari, there’s a bit of fear on being in love again.

As much as you have tangled yourself with other man, you always compare them to Jaehyun, it’s a mistake and you know it.

But you can’t help it, not when Jaehyun was your biggest love of all.

And since 14 of February was in just two days, you were on your penthouse floor with your daughter, trying to contain the mess of the photobook slash scrapbook that became your birthday gift tradition to Jaehyun.

It all started when you got divorced and as always, giving presents to someone who has everything they want, is hard, so giving presents to Jaehyun was a hard thing too.

The photobook was born of your idea of giving Jae, something of his daughter, he was still an idol back then, and his contract didn’t allowed him to have more time with his daughter, so he kept missing big events, the first time she let her entire popsicle melt while looking at the ferries wheels, or her look of wonder when you took her on a small trip to an aquarium in Japan.

So your scrapbook was full of pictures of Nari, and little stories about all the messes she made the day that picture was taken.

But as much as you didn’t hate him, being at his birthday’s was always a tad bit weird…his group mates who you had also worked with back when you were still working for SM Entertainment, treated you the same as always, big hugs and treating your daughter as their own niece.

Other people, the people who were only acquainted with Jaehyun after he divorced you, were always kind of suspicious of your good relationship or did try to probe into your personal life.

You never assumed you were invited so you always waited for the invitation to arrive or for his mum to say something…maybe one day he wouldn’t want you there and you had to respect if one day he didn’t.

This year, though, you knew it would be different when Mama Jung called you a few days ago…

“Are you coming to his birthday this year?”

“Am I invited?”

“Nonsense, you know you are.”

“Okay so I guess…”

“He has a girlfriend.” She interrupted you mid-sentence.

“Oh…ok.” You knew about it already; Nari told you about her dad new girl friend.

“Do you really want to come my dear?”

“Does he want me there?”

“Of course, he does…”

You cut her “If he does, please ask him to call me…I know you will say anything to please me Mama, but he won’t lie, and I need to know if he wants me there…”

After that she said OK, and you both hang up.

It wasn’t until almost midnight that same day that Jaehyun called.

“My mom said you’re not sure you’re going to my birthday party…did I do-”

You promptly interrupted.

“You did nothing wrong Jaehyun, it’s just…you mother told me about you girlfriend, and I haven’t met her, so I don’t want it to be weird… I mean it’s your birthday.”

“No Y/N, it won’t be the same without you there and Yeri knows about you…I just never introduced you guys because I didn’t-”

“Jaehyun, I don’t mind really it’s just… do you want me there?”

“I need you there, Y/N”.

“Then that’s all I need to know, I’ll be there.”

“Thank you.”

And that was about it, you were going.

It wasn’t the first time Jaehyun had a girlfriend, his relationships just never lasted enough to make it to his birthday’s you guessed, also a few years ago you thought he might ditch the whole birthday thing for a valentine’s date…but he never did.

He wanted to spend his birthdays with his daughter, he said once.

Even though his birthday parties were almost always full of family and friends he had to invite some of his co-workers, being an actor who worked almost always overseas, his birthdays were the times where he would also occasionally mingle with people from the Korean entertainment industry.

When you were still married, you didn’t mind it since you were in the industry yourself and some of the people you were familiar with or were a fan of their work, sometimes you knew more people than Jaehyun, since in most of the times, he was the idol, the singer and you were the one setting up agendas, coordinating the whole NCT media and press department.

But it became another thing entirely after you got divorced, most people would still assume you were married and refer to you as Mrs. Jung, other times you could pass by tables and hear whippers about the supposed motives for your divorce.

When the 14th of February approached again, you made sure to call Mrs. Jung and ask if she needed help for anything, she said everything was fine, just for you to show up on time with Nari.

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Still in your bedroom, pressing the snooze button on the alarm to remind you to leave on time, you looked at your reflection in the mirror. You bought a new dress, a new clutch, but still wore the same YSL stilettos you purchased with one of your first SM salaries. They were your favorite ones; they could be old-fashioned by now, but they made you feel beautiful and provided the perfect height you needed.

“It’s time to go, be calm, breath”.

You told your reflection in the mirror while taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm your nerves. Grabbing the wrapped scrapbook from your bed, you left your room to check if the nanny had successfully kept Nari dressed while you quickly had a bath and did your makeup.

You smiled in relief when you saw Nari still wearing her cute strawberry-printed dress she had chosen herself. She was going through a strawberry phase; last month, it was a Hello Kitty one.

She didn’t notice your presence at her room's door, as she was talking to the nanny when you entered.

Observing her cute dimples, nose scrunching up when the nanny tickled her, rosy cheeks, light pink in tone, brown eyes, and dark, straight brown hair you thought she looks so much like him. Yet, when she smiled, especially with all the dimples making appearances, she mostly resembled you, especially the way her giggles sounded and the way her eyes and lips curved.

She was the perfect mix of both of you.

Noticing you at the door, she made a run for your legs, yelling, 'Mommy, mommy, let’s go see Dad!' She was always excited about Jaehyun’s birthdays; he would parade her for everyone, and she loved hearing the compliments. True to her father’s behavior as a child, people always found her smart and cute.

As soon as you both arrived, you made sure to drop his present at the designated spot, where presents were already piled up, and then made your way to the ballroom, where tables, a piano, people, and food were usually present.

Upon seeing her father, Nari practically jumped from your arms into the ground, making a beeline for him. A few steps behind, you got to him just as he had gotten her in his arms, and a man close to him spoke.

“Oh, this is your daughter, no wonder she is so beautiful, look at her mom a perfect example of fine Korean blood” he said approvingly with his head turning towards Jaehyun and what you suspected was his girlfriend.

You stopped on your tracks, a step or two from them.

Jaehyun was the first one to notice you, and probably saw the watery line that was already formed on your eyes, beyond your control.

It wasn’t the first time and probably wouldn’t be the last. But it still hurt.

Noticing that Jaehyun’s head had turned towards you, the man also turned.

“Oh an international nanny, that was very clever of you Jaehyun is she teaching your daughter English al-”

“She isn’t-” Jaehyun started to say still with eyes locked with yours. But Nari interrupted him.

“Mom, why are you crying?”

Diverting your eyes from his and landing on Nari you said:

“I’m not crying sweetheart.”

“But your eyes mommy”

“I know sweetheart it’s just the make-up.”

Nari was too clever and even though she didn’t say anything, she made grabby hands towards you. You approached the group and Jaehyun let her come to your arms.

Tucking her close to your heart, she crossed her little arms around your neck. You patted her back, and looked up to Jaehyun who even with you in heels was at least a head taller than you.

“Y/N-” He started with a soft tone, but it was no place or time for you two to talk so you just interrupted him.

“Happy Birthday Jaehyun.”

“Thank You, Y/N… this is Yeri…”

You gave Yeri a smile and a nod, and she gave it back. The man on the other hand did not seem ok.

“And this is Mr. Choi one of the presidents of MBC…Mr. Choi this is Y/N, Y/L/N, my daughter Nari, mom” he said firmly, his tone betraying a hint of anger

“I’m sorry I didn’t realized you had married someone who was not Korean, and your daughter looks so much like pure k”-

“My daughter is the most precious thing in my life she is the perfect combination of me and her mom, didn’t you see her big, beautiful eyes, she didn’t inherit that from me, I don’t dare to take the credit for her mom’s beauty.” Jaehyun cut him mid-sentence.

If angry was liquid, Jaehyun would be spilling over the man, it didn’t take much of you to realize it since Jae’s ears were bright red.

“Mrs. Jung!!!” You heard a familiar voice yell, Johnny of course, the only one who would still embarrass you with your ex-last name.

Yet, as much as he was annoying, you were grateful that he was approaching, you looked at him and he blinked, oh thank God, he probably noticed the whole situation.

“What are you still doing here Jaehyun…more guests have arrived, me included, and I’ve been waiting for you to realize me and Donghyuck are already here, but you didn’t. So, sorry Yeri, Mrs. Choi but I’m stealing those three.”

He said grabbing Jaehyun by the arms and making sure he was walking in front of him toward Hyuck, while grabbing you by the waist so you would unfreeze from your spot.

“I told you to not use the Mrs. Jung again John”.

“I know”

“Why do you use it?”

“To annoy you and Jaehyun, also, I think one day you might use it again” he said the last part on a whisper so Nari wouldn’t hear it.

You couldn’t do much, so you gave him a slight elbow punch to his stomach, being the exaggerated person that he was, he grabbed his belly in fake pain and looked at you with a pout.

Being 35 just like you, you couldn’t believe how much a dramatic ass Johnny could be.

You liked him, he just annoyed the shit out of you.

You three made a line for the table Hyuck was seated, Nari practically leaped to the younger Lee’s arms, she loved him, he was fool and let her get away with anything, he was putty in her hands. You talked for a while, but Jaehyun’s eyes were burning on your face, you could feel it.

When the conversation stopped, Jaehyun called your name.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Jaehyun.”

“Don’t lie.”

You breathed a long breath.

“Right now, I’m okay Jaehyun really, it’s not the first time…it just…gets to me more than I should let it get.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay, and I will be fine, go entertain your guests I’ll stay here with the guys if they don’t mind.”

Johnny had to butt in.

“Oh god we don’t mind it, actually, don’t think Doyoung’s wife would mind you keeping him safe from other woman, man that woman is OBSESSED, I don’t think she trusts any other woman with her man but shit, so much jealously if-”

“We know John!” Huck, you and Jaehyun said almost at the same time.

“Go Jaehyun I’ll be fine.”

“Ok, I will go.”

He turned but then turned towards you again.

“Where is my present!”

You laughed a bit.

“I just left it on the pile, don’t worry I haven’t forgot it.”

“Ok. Hum…can we open later, together as we always do?”

“Of course, Jaehyun.”

“Ok, I’m going”. This time he turned and went to entertain the other guests, later on his mom came to talk to you a bit, his dad left a small kiss on your forehead and carried Nari away.

Along the night you talked to the boys – yes, the boys from NCT127, all the 8 sitting at the same table, the chaos between shared stories and them drowning alcohol into their systems, Taeil talked about his wife, the latest recipes he learned, Johnny promptly jump in to ask when was going to be their next “family” dinner, Taeyong watched everything with a red neck because of the alcohol, his big black eyes focused on the conversation and talking a bit of sense to anyone’s crazy ideas for dinners or vocations.

Yuta was loud, talking about this rock concert he saw a few days ago, where the singer was an amazing vocalist, Doyoung said he wished he could also go to concerts with the guys but basically his wife didn’t trust his life in his friends’ hands, making an offended noise Jungwoo butted in claiming he had no idea why she said that since they were all responsible people.

Mark nodded, saying he had no idea why she thought that.

This time you butted in.

“Oh, please Mark, I do remember that time on a MV filming set where Jeno was on a dumpster lid and you told him to do back flips…you’re practically raised by Johnny, all of you are the perfect example of why man die first, just stupid.”

They all looked at you, offended of course.

Haechan was the first one to start the bickering.

“Watch most of us outlive you.”

“Of course, maybe 2 of you will.”

“I’ll outlive you.”

“Oh, please Johnny, if you manage that I might feel offended. I am outliving you at least by a few months since I’m younger.”

“Oh, please Y/N, you’ll probably die of boredom.”

“I will die of old age, and you will probably die while doing some weird shit.��

They all cracked up in a laugh, Johnny sometimes in the past was caught doing some hum, let’s say questionable things, nothing criminal, just, weird…but hey, not everyone’s got good tase.

And that’s how the rest of the party rolled for you.

It was already past midnight when you saw Jaehyun, go up the stairs with Nari in his arms. You quickly got up and followed up.

Nari had her own bedroom in her grandfather’s house, and her dad’s apartment as well.

Following close behind you opened your daughter room door, to find him tucking Nari in bed, you asked:

“She’s already asleep?”

“Yes, but she’s trying to stay up, so I brought her up, before she actually manages to kick her sleep away.”

She couldn’t even keep her eyes open; you watched while he covered her in the blankets and made sure her hands and feet weren’t out of the bed.

When Jaehyun finished, he got up and curved to give her a goodnight kiss on her head. You just looked at it, this is one of the many reasons even after everything, you still couldn’t regret any minute you had together, it was also times like these where you, missed your husband, your best friend.

You didn’t realize you were blocking the door, so Jaehyun touched your arm, it looked like he was whispering your name, so you let him guide you out of the room. As soon as the door closed behind you too, he asked:

“Can we open my present? Together like always?”

“Of course we can, but what about your guests?”

“Only my dad’s closest friends stayed plus the guys.”

“What about Yeri?”

“I sent her home with my driver. It’s been a long night.”

“Jaehyun…” You said disapprovingly.

“What?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day.”

“I know, but for me it’s just my birthday. She knows Y/N.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’ll go down to grab it, wait for me outside?”

“Sure.”

Walking down the other way toward the gardens in the winter chill, a consequence of wearing a dress, you admired the meticulously tended flowers by Mrs. Jung.

Footsteps approached, prompting you to turn. Jaehyun halted upon meeting your gaze, holding a wrapped photobook. His eyes, however, were fixed on the ground. Following his line of sight, you realized he was focused on your shoes.

You remembered just as something warm filled your body, you had sex with him, once, while wearing those shoes.

Shaking your head slightly, trying to erase the mental image of him railing you while you wore nothing but the black designer shoe with the YSL letters as part of the golden heel.

Coffing a little you tried to get Jaehyun’s attention, no doubt judging by the red tone on his ears he also remembers everything.

He looked up as if you had woken him. So, you said:

“Are we going to open your present or not?”

“Yeah sure.”

Following him to the swing like bench you sit down while he rips the paper with a smile on his face that remembers a lot like a kid on Christmas Day, you contain a laugh.

He opens and flips a few pages smile growing the more pictures he sees. Turning his body towards you he asks:

“Walk me through it?”

“Of course, Jae.”

Smiling, you get closer to him, grabbing the photobook and placing it on both of your legs. So, the story begins. The first page narrates a day at a park near your home with Nari. You swear, she stared at a little boy with brown hair and dimples, as if it were her first crush. It suddenly struck you—maybe this was her first crush.

Jaehyun frowned a bit, making a bit of a sour face at mentions of a boy.

“She’s 5 Jaehyun, chill.”

“I know, but tell me did the boy was nice to her or looked at her with cute eyes too?”

“He was nice to her, even let her play with one of his toys when she made a crying face.”

“Well, that’s good.”

Laughing you asked:

“Why is that?”

“Our daughter is beautiful.”

“I know…” You said making question marks at him with your eyes.

“If he didn’t like her too, he would be a fool.”

“Jaehyun?”

“Yes”

“That was cute.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was.”

“I’m not cute, Y/N.”

“Still, it was.”

Letting out a playful huff he finally gave in.

“Fine, it was. Now, moving on to the next page.”

Smiling you kept telling to Jaehyun the stories behind the pictures and little notes on the photobook slash scrapbook. You both laughed a lot about how cute and smart Jung Nari is.

Upon finishing the last page, he turned his full body, legs still touching. It felt uncomfortably close. Before anything could be said, his hand reached out, gently tucking the strands of hair behind your ear.

Chills went up your arms, he noticed too, but mistook for cold, so you watched as he took out his suit out and wrapped it on your arms and shoulders. You still couldn’t muster words, so you let out a small thank you under your breath.

When you raised your eyes up to his, he was looking at you with so many emotions locked in his eyes.

“Y/N…”

“Hum?”

“You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

You saw him getting closer but couldn’t manage to move. Even if you could, you weren’t sure in which direction you would move.

One of his arms circled your back, landing on your waist. Pulling you close, he held your head with his other hand carefully while he kissed your forehead. Breathing you in and out, he started:

“Y/N, I-”

“I know Jaehyun, I know.”

And you knew, but you couldn’t let him say it.

Next Chapter!

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To everyone who has waited for this chapter since I promised to drop a few weeks ago, tysm for you patience, I hope it pays out the wait.

- Tessa 💚

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@dulyrana @clblnz 💚

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lightlycareless · 1 year ago

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Okay but.. what if Satoru is her ex and now she is with Naoya because she was cheated on👉👈

IS THIS FOR THE HIGHSCHOOL AU? CAUSE IF IT IS I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR FEEDING MY ADDICTION.

Anyways, this add a whole new layer of complexity to Y/N and Naoya's relationship. I was toying with the idea of Y/N already having a boyfriend, or more like a crush, but tHIS omg....

So I rewrote this like 3-4 times, and at first I was like I don’t want to be angsty, but then I thought well, if Y/N was cheated on then it can’t be anything but angsty, because it’s a huge breach of trust, you know?

And thus, everything else occurred. I think I might've gotten carried away and I'm not sure if this is what you wanted.... but hey, it's what came to me :') I hope you like it nonetheless!

warnings: mentions of cheating, people being jerks, insecurities, that kind of stuff. it's sad at first, but I like to think it gets sweet at the end.

Let’s set up the bases: the one that would take the first step in terms of seeking a relationship with the other would be Naoya—since cheating was involved, Satoru is/must’ve been a jerk (well, he is known for being insufferable, but still)

Once that’s set…

The first time you stepped into Naoya’s life would be through the sprouting rumors of Satoru’s “love life.”

Nothing that he’d be able to keep a secret due to his popularity, if anything many thought it was surprising this hadn’t come out far earlier, but now that it was out, many of his “admirers” could do nothing but gossip about it. Amongst them, Naoya.

Naoya wasn’t necessarily the same type of admirer as the others—not… that infatuated. But he still wanted to be around him, since he considered Satoru to be on the same level as him, the same… social circle, per say. And because he thought himself to be somewhat remotely similar, he also needed to keep up with whatever he did.

So, when he heard that he used to a have a girlfriend, it was… well, shocking to say the least. And not because anyone thought he couldn’t get a partner, of course not, but rather, because he actually settled down for once.

And because that meant Satoru had gotten a girlfriend first before him, and that was… upsetting, to say the least.

But pushing that aside, he quickly became determined in finding out who was the “lucky” girl that managed to capture Satoru’s attention, enough for him to consider her for a formal relationship, and of course, why it ended.

Because of Satoru’s reputation, and the fact that he was single yet again, many began to assume that the reason why they broke up was because she didn’t “satisfy” him adequately.

That she was probably “boring” or couldn’t comply with his “extravagant” lifestyle. The girls sure were having the time of their life imagining how they’d be better suited for him, essentially allowing him a life of debauchery, while the boys were more inclined into meeting the one that managed to “catch” him.

Thus, Naoya’s search for Satoru’s ex-girlfriend begins.

He has a notion, something to begin with: for sure pretty, because let’s be real, Naoya doesn’t know anyone that would date someone they didn’t consider absolutely stunning. She just must be.

From there, someone that matches his prestige, meaning, rich; unless he decided to go a completely different route and choose someone a bit more… humble, but he doesn’t think so. Naoya knows how the game goes, old money must be preserved, and others outside of that social circle tended to not blend in, so he doesn’t believe Satoru would’ve bothered.

But anyways, Naoya would find soon enough; all that he needed to do is ask around, maybe even nag Satoru a bit so he’d tell himself… to confirm the horrible image she had thanks to the sour opinions’ others began to have of his ex-girlfriend, Naoya intending to do the same once uncovering her identity…

Until he finally saw her.

She’d been right under his nose all this time, a somewhat quiet yet giddy girl from another class, one year younger than him, who’d occasionally be teased by his seniors for the sole reason of being “overprotected” by her siblings, also students at the school, or were anyway, one of them already graduated.

A girl named Y/N, whom upon getting a better look at her… found her to be incredibly cute.

And the vivid contrast of what he believed.

He couldn’t believe it.

Naoya truly couldn’t believe his eyes. He always thought that if Satoru had broken up with her was because she… well, because she was a bit mundane, right? That had to be. There was no synergy, no good reason for him to stick around…

But the reality had been so much different. You—you were someone that he could only consider captivating given the way he couldn’t get his eyes off you. And because he always considered himself to be somewhat in Satoru’s level, meaning that they’d have similar tastes and what not…

Naoya couldn’t fathom why he’d ever leave you.

For what little he’d seen of you, Naoya could easily disclose you were someone alluring.

So, Naoya decides to go forward with his plan, in the sense of approaching you to get to know you better. However, with a small change: not to divulge on you negatively, but rather, because he genuinely wants to do so…

And the surprise he receives is far bigger than he could’ve ever imagined; he hoped to find (yet again) something that would make you unlikeable, something to justify Satoru’s decision, maybe an annoying mannerism, a nasty habit, or just— anything, really.

But all that he finds… is things that pull him further and further into you. And soon, not only did he find you likeable, but also, wishing for something more… intimate between the two.

Starting by wanting to spend most, if not all, of his time with you. Getting to hear your voice talking about no particular topic—and it didn’t matter how, either. It could be a phone call, or in person—he just wanted to be the focus of your attention.

Or getting to see your face too. To see so first thing in the morning, or last thing at night, sounds amazing to him. Seek you out at soon as his classes are done, eat lunch together, (maybe even let you feed him? No, at least not in public) or do homework together. Since he’s already taken your classes, he’s more than happy to help you out, if it meant you’d praise him as sweetly as you’ve always done.

The thought is enough to make him blush—and with this, it’s clear that Naoya wants you to be his, and solely his.

Even if his skepticism about Satoru and his decision to dump you went on, it didn’t matter.

You were incredible, you are incredible. The girl of his dreams…. And if Satoru couldn’t see that, then he was a fool!

It was set then, he’d make you his girlfriend, treat you like no other has, and the two will be happy together, hopefully forever!

Or so… that’s what he wished would happen. Because his plans would only come to a screeching halt when you’d reject his sentiments, with a saddened face that more than portraying sorrow, displayed disappointment, gently shaking your head as you murmur.

“I’m sorry, but… I can’t”

And so, that’s how Naoya’s dreams would come to cease, with an abrupt rejection that left him hollow, voice of a heart, as he saw you further and further walking away from him, until you were no longer there, absent for the coming days.

But even when he was given more than enough reason to no longer seek you, Naoya couldn’t keep his mind off you. And every second of the day, whether at school or at home, all that he kept wondering was why you’d rejected him.

Why had you taken such a decision, and without even looking like you were considering it?

Had it been something he’d done? Did someone tell you something unsavory about him? If that’s the case, he can fix that. He can easily explain whatever it was, deal with whoever had done such a thing, so you’d talk to him again!

But… more than devastated by your rejection, he was deeply, incredibly infuriated.

Because rejection wasn’t something that Naoya took easily. For someone as egocentric as him, this was not something he could ever overcome as an unfortunate but common occurrence and just move on.

And with the previous notions he had of you through Satoru’s “friends” … those sentiments just grew bigger and bigger.

Thus, it wouldn’t take long before he approached you once more, but this time, with intentions of demanding to know why you had rejected him in the first place—all with a look on his face that made you flinch, never thinking him capable of such… harsh reaction.

But even after being suitably spooked, and consistently insisted on by Naoya, you eventually respond, at least with what you could muster so as to not appear any more vulnerable with him.

“Because I don’t want to.” You murmur, looking down to the floor. Naoya frowns.

“There must be a reason. There must be an actual reason as to why you don’t want to—it can’t be just because of that.”

“It is.” You reiterate. “That’s all.”

“I don’t believe it.” He insists. “You always have something to say! Now you’re telling me you don’t?”

You frown, if his actions weren’t hurtful enough, his words now offended you.

“If you’re going to keep making fun of me, you can leave”

“Keep?” he asks. “What do you mean keep? If anything, you’d be the one making fun of me!”

“Don’t act like you don’t know… it’s the whole reason why you’re here, isn’t?” you say, now looking up to him and revealing the now sorrowful look of your reddening, watery eyes. Naoya is slightly taken aback by the sight, his heart slightly twinging with pain. “To make a fool of me again, right?”

“Where did you even get that ide—"

“Just answer one question—just one” You interrupt, voice trembling before swallowing, as if to ease the nerves growing inside you. “Are you friends with Satoru?”

He blinks, taken aback by your query, but he does not answer.

“Answer me, Naoya!” You challenged “Do you get along with him, yes or no?!”

…

“Yes.”

“I fucking knew it.” You breathe, clenching your hands. “I knew it—I knew it.”

“What are you—”

“Drop the act, Naoya! I’ve seen right through you!”

“What act? What are you—what are you even talking about, Y/N?”

“What all his friends do!” you gasp. “What they’ve been doing the moment they found out I used to date Satoru!”

“What do they… do…?” Naoya murmurs slowly. “What does that even have to do with my feelings for—”

“It has to do everything.” You gasp. “It has to do with everything!”

You thought you’d be able to get away from the horrible experience your rupture with Satoru had brought you; those nasty, dark sentiments that completely engulfed your heart, leaving you nothing but a shell of the person you were, if not worse.

All because Satoru had committed the worst transgression he could’ve done at that moment, something so horrible and painful for someone as young and naïve as you:

He cheated on you.

When it happened, it felt as if your heart was being pierced with a thousand needles, twisted and pulled apart, before breaking up in a thousand pieces, settling in your chest to constantly inundate your mind, before drowning your voice with nothing but cries and tears.

And no matter how much you tried to move past this painful incident, think about anything else, your mind always brought you back to the horrible sight of Satoru being in the arms of someone else—and each time it just hurt worse.

Because after all was said and done, you truly cared for him. Far than just care for him, genuinely thought him to be your… other half, the love of your life. The man you’d end up marrying in the future!

Could you be blamed? He was your first serious relationship, and he had been the one to make a move at first… believing it was the start of your own love story, just as you’ve seen repeated over and over in the world around you.

But it wasn’t, and now, you’re here, left behind, in solitude, to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.

Your family would try to comfort you by telling you that this was just a one-time incident, that it was not your fault as you began to believe, that this was his decision, his fault, and that there was nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all.

Reaffirming that love still exists, even though it seemed almost impossible to think of at that moment, because after all, you had your mom and dad as an example—and most importantly, that pain will pass, you just have to give it time.

And perhaps because they insisted so much, or because you were always the hopeless romantic, you ended up trying your best to move on to a new day, think that the future had something better planned for you, that this was only a small stumble on the way, nothing more…

So, you began. One day at a time, surrounding yourself with your friends and family, people that had your wellbeing in mind; And it seemed to work, you began to feel a bit better, start expecting a better outcome for the coming days…

Until you met someone that began to show interest in you, far more than just a friend that is, and seemed to demonstrate so with his actions. He was charming, to say the least, funny, got along with everyone else, but was also very attentive to you, always making you feel special.

You didn’t want to think much of it at first, the scars in your heart reminding you to do so… but your poor heart began to think that maybe your parents were right in saying that “someone better always comes along.” That first comes the storm, and then… peace.

At last, it was finally your turn. It was finally the moment to meet the love of your life, the one that would make the rest of your days whole, and stop feeling lonely, as you’ve always felt.

Only to be proved wrong when you went on searching through his phone by accident after hearing it ring and ring, and he was away.

You thought it an emergency, the only reason why you’d ever do such thing… but the moment you did, you damned ever considering it such, for why he was being pestered over the phone wasn’t because his family needed him, or maybe some overdue project his teammates desperately needed to finish—it’s because he was disclosing all that he was doing with you with someone else, with a group… and making fun of it.

No—not making fun of the things he was doing.

Making fun of you.

Of the apparently silly ways you’d react, the stupid things you liked—but most importantly, wondering why Satoru ever considered you to be his girlfriend, when it was obvious with this past evidence, that you were nothing of the like. If anything, you got cheated on because you deserved it.

Because a boring girl like you probably deserved it.

And this shattered whatever was left of your poor heart, further secluding yourself from those outside of your social circle, quick to interject anyone that you’d sense had other intentions with you, hoping to save yourself from the pain—

Until Naoya came along.

There was something about him that immediately caught your attention, something you’ve never felt before, not even those jerks that attempted to befriend you—maybe it was his unusual hair color, the cool piercings on his ear, or simply because you found him handsome—that you couldn’t keep your eyes off him for too long. A fascination that worsened when you began to know him.

At first you thought he approached you because he noticed you staring at him, which caused you to be very, very tense when he began walking over to you; but thankfully, it didn’t seem to be nothing of the like, instead, he apparently just wanted you to help him move something from the nearby classroom onto another, and any other things that might pop up on the way.

It was slow, the way Naoya would interact with you when doing so, almost as if hesitant; but it wouldn’t take long before he became a bit more assertive with his actions, to the point where you decided to ignore your warnings and begin to open up to him, sharing the things you liked, and finding out that the two harbored many similarities than what you initially perceived… certainly far bigger than what you had with those that had come before.

With Naoya, he didn’t seem to judge you—didn’t look at you as if you’d grown a second head or was simply following your lead to pursue dubious intentions. No. He was listening to you and was sharing his own with an interest you couldn’t consider anything less than genuine.

You didn’t want to admit it easily, didn’t want to betray your hard-set motivation in keeping away… but there was something about Naoya that made it impossible, and while debating whether to pursue this feeling or not, you decided to rely on your friends for advice—albeit deep inside, you were looking for their blessing.

But instead of receiving the words you wanted to hear, those pushing you to follow your heart, you got a crude, cold reality check that quickly reminded you that your heartache had yet to end, and if anything, Satoru’s friends had just gotten more creative.

Satoru had no direct correlation with what was happening to you, for during your time is when you came to realize that someone with his status and power was bound attract lots of attention, and certainly… followers, whom ready to dissect every little aspect of his life—you included.

But was it really that hard to tell them to stop? To leave you alone? That even when you were the one that ended things, he was the one that wronged you, thus, you’ve already gone through enough?

Of course, that was something that fate wouldn’t grant you so easily, if ever. To be constantly reminded of a mistake you did in your youth, for now, in the shape of the young man standing before you.

“I know the game; I’ve been a player for far too long.” You say. “And I don’t want to keep going at it if all I’m going to be is a loser.”

There’s a sadness in your voice that immediately deepens the growing pain in Naoya’s heart, and soon, all the anger and disappointment he had towards you is quickly discarded, replaced by worry.

Just… what happened between the two?

“What happened Y/N?” he begins. “What happened with you and Satoru?”

“Don’t act like you don’t—” you begin to snap.

“I don’t” Naoya interjects, shaking his head. “I really, genuinely don’t know.”

And whether by the look of his eye, or the softness in his voice, you take it as him being honest. Maybe your personal life wasn’t as divulged as you thought it was.

Well, he ought to know now or later, so why not cut the chase?

This might as well be your moment to set the record straight, if it even mattered at that point.

“Satoru cheated on me” you begin, having to say so out loud still makes your heart clench, especially since the last time you ever uttered those words when was the wound was still fresh. “I… found him with someone else one day, when he was supposed to be doing something else…

I broke up with him soon after that and kept my distance, for my sake. But then, someone started to spread rumors about what happened, twisting the story to their liking, but always portraying me as the bad one. The one that deserved to be cheated on, because the “great Gojo Satoru” could never do wrong. And if he did, it’s because of a very valid reason.”

“What?” Naoya breathes, blinking as if that were to pull him back to reality.

Did he hear you right?

All this time, you— you were the one that—

“What do you mean cheated—”

“You didn’t strike me as someone who wouldn’t know what that means.” You frown.

“No, I know what cheating is.” He responds. “What I can’t believe is—”

“That he dated me? Yes, I know. I’ve heard it a thousand times befo—"

“No. That’s not it.” Naoya shakes his head. “I can’t believe that he—"

That he cheated on you.

That Satoru would cheat with the most perfect, beautiful, funny, supportive, caring girl he’s ever met in his life? Do that to the girl Naoya has been unknowingly dreaming of for all his life, and now had the pleasure of meeting?

How could someone so vile as Satoru not understand the blessings you represented?

Well, that was a bit hypocritical of Naoya to say at first, since he too was a very difficult person at times… careless to the privileges his status had brought, even more with the people around him.

But now that he met you, he could finally see the error in his way. The… fault in the ideology he carried.

Because he could never find himself, not anymore, harming the one person he’d ever felt such strong feelings for.

Now he knew why mothers were so overprotective of their children, why partners would go above and beyond to ensure that the other is safe, loved, protected…

He never felt that sentiment before, never understood why people were so… sappy, cringy with others.

Until he met you.

Until he met you, did he understand why they’d do so in the first place, and it felt almost silly that he ever thought otherwise, when now all that he wants to do is be with you, give you the whole world, bring you down the stars, if it meant you’d be happy again.

And to think he even justified the nasty things people were saying about you.

He’s even ashamed to have ever belonged to their side.

“My feelings for you are true.” Is what Naoya would come to say. “Since the moment I saw you, I’ve always felt this… attraction to you; but when I finally got to know you better, the person you truly are, is when I knew that what I felt for you was much more than finding you pretty.”

“Naoya—” you sob, tears now falling down your cheeks, raising your hands to wipe them equally fast as they began to appear. “That’s not—Don’t take me for a fool—!”

“If you don’t believe me.” He begins, taking a step closer to you and attempting to grab one of your hands, you swat him away. “Then let me prove it to you.”

“I don’t want you to do any—”

“However long it takes, whatever I need to do” he insists, finally taking hold of your wrist. “I’ll show you how much you mean to me.”

Naoya then carefully raises one of his hands to your face, gently swiping away one of your tears as you remained there, speechless, but sad. He didn’t know where this uncharacteristic softness came from — certainly never have done so in his life with anyone else— only that it felt right to do so.

And you… you wouldn’t have allowed such thing if you didn’t harbor any kind of sentiments from him to begin with, his words giving you hope for something you’ve long thought lost… but because you were in such emotional turmoil of disbelief, you didn’t find it in yourself to make a decision at that moment, or allowing him to be near you like this, opting to free yourself out of Naoya’s grasp, quickly turning around and leaving him on the spot.

It was undeniable that you didn’t expect him to go through with his words, initially believing them to be nothing but a joke, something to get you to lower your guard, and if he did, it wouldn’t last beyond a few days….

But Naoya would soon prove himself to be a man of his word when the 8th day came along and had gifted you for the consecutive time your favorite brand of mochi, the one you recalled telling him one time, if you ever did—to the point were you had to give some away because you didn’t believe you’d ever get to finish them!

Followed by a plushie of your favorite videogame, each day a different one, any that he could find, enough to fill boxes and boxes with them, making you consider opening your own store and reselling them…

Culminating in buying you the newest release of said franchise, which you’ve been saving up for weeks now, spending nothing of your allowance just for a chance to get it, but now that Naoya had taken care of that, what were you going to do with that money?

Well, whatever it was that you thought, Naoya would find out eventually, and take care of it, moving you back to the start.

But while these actions were… alluring by their own, they were nothing compared to what he did last.

Naoya would be underestimating his feelings if he didn’t voice just how infuriated he truly was to hear that first, Satoru had cheated on you, and secondly, that his so called “friends” had been pestering you about it—no, not pestering you, tormenting you. Picking at you as if you were the novelty hobby, the prime instigator, when it had been the other way around, and you were only smart to call quits!

He couldn’t see the same people he used to involve himself with without feeling disdain for them, especially those he knew had only gone above and beyond to make a miserable, laughingstock out of you.

And as the always determined man to take matter into his own hands, it didn’t take long for you to se the consequences of it.

It’s what finally pushed you to talk to him, after all.

“Y/N, good morning.” He says, a soft smile on his face upon seeing you approach him. Like a lost puppy, he couldn’t help himself from beaming with excitement when seeing your familiar, cute, adorable face looking at him after days of silence. “How are you—”

“…You had something to do with that, didn’t you?” you ask, straight to the point. Your bluntness surprised Naoya, but he can’t say he wasn’t expecting this at one point, hoped it would, really.

“With what?” He asks, there were many things he had planned for you, but he didn’t want to be the one to reveal them. Naoya wished to keep the element of surprise for as long as possible.

“You know exactly what. It’s… with them” and Naoya does his best to grin proudly.

“Did something happen?” he asks instead, feigning ignorance.

No.

Nothing bad, at least; completely unexpected… yet welcomed, because it gave you both things your heart always wanted, but never voiced in fear of being hurt.

“… the ones that made fun of me, they… apologized to me.” You begin, the first of your closures.

And it was only obvious that they would, for as soon as Naoya found out the responsible ones of your growing pain, he made sure to find them and give them a hard-earned lesson through… unconventional matters, nothing that could be traced to him, of course.

You could only guess what it had been due to the frightened look on their faces when they sought your forgiveness, as well as the bruises on their arms…

Which you didn’t necessarily agree with, but at the same time, you couldn’t deny the obvious: the impact that Naoya’s actions have caused on your life, starting from his appearance to his insistence, and now, this.

“Really?” He asks. “That’s good, it’s the bare minimum…”

“I don’t need to be a detective to know you had something to do with it” You respond, and he just shrugs, still putting up the ignorant act. But if anything, that just gave away his involvement.

“But… why?”

You knew the answer, but perhaps you needed to hear it with your own ears.

The second of your closures.

“I told you, didn’t I?” he responds. “I wanted to show you how much you truly mean to me…”

Before looking away, cheeks red upon noticing your intent stare at him, instead of running away.

“But, I mean—yeah, what they did was wrong. As I said, it’s the bare minimum!” he coughs. “You didn’t deserve to be treated like that, not when you weren’t the one at fault.”

And at the culmination of his words, his actions, and now, your feelings—you can’t help but cry, tears falling down your cheeks as you let out a quiet sob.

But your tears weren’t of sadness, or disappointment, no. They were far from that.

They were of happiness, for the realization that you finally obtained what you’ve longed for in your life, what your heart always dreamed of since the moment you had conscience: to find the man that would do anything for you; prove you such… cherish you….

“I’m—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—cry.” You’d say, laughing nervously as you do your best to wipe away the falling tears. “It’s the 2nd time you’ve seen me do this, and we’re not even that close—”

“What difference does it make, if you’re going to be my girlfriend either way?” He attempts to joke, lighten up the mood so as to get you to stop crying, but when you don’t respond is when he notes he might’ve greatly miscalculated the moment, feeling nothing but a jerk. “I—forget what I said, I shouldn’t—

“I…I’ll have to think about it.” You begin softly through sniffles. “It all depends on where we go on our first date.”

His heart soars for you.

“I know a place that might push you into considering it.” He teases, and for the first time, of many to come, he makes you blush.

“…We shall see, then.” You chuckle, continuing to wipe some of the tears off your face, until Naoya wins you to it by swiping them with his thumb. The gesture, alongside his closeness, further flusters you, but makes you feel good, nonetheless.

If being with him means you’d get this kind of attention, this kind of care, and the promise that your feelings will be reciprocated….

Then you wouldn’t mind giving love a second chance.

#ask #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

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iamnmbr3 · 6 months ago

Note

Lord Voldemort <- break his ass down, please. (Love you blog, btw! 💖)

How I feel about this character

One of the characters of all time. I find Tom Riddle to be an absolutely fascinating character who is so fun to explore. I think he came out a lot more 3 dimensional than JKR perhaps intended (I say this because a lot of the backstory we get on him makes him a lot more nuanced than the narrative seems to acknowledge) which I absolutely love. His complexity, intelligence, creativity, self sufficiency, determination even in the face of impossible odds, ruthlessness, penchant for drama, and the tremendous amount of adversity he has to overcome provide a lot of richness that is fun to analyze and read about. I mean, without him we wouldn't have the story.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Alphard Black. Yes, I wouldn't have called it either not too long ago but now this ship lives rent free in my head. (If you want to read about why you can look at this post here). All hail the dysfunctional, hilarious, and emotionally compelling mess that is Alphalord - which I ship both in serious incarnations and also for the crack humor potential; truly the versatile ship of all time that gives me way too many feels but also is very fun to make crack humor posts about. Also, although it's not my OTP, I think there's a lot of interesting potential - all of varying degrees of darkness - to explore pairing him with Regulus as well.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I talked here about how fascinating I find Voldemort's relationship with Snape. He does genuinely seem to like and respect him - to the point that he is actually willing to do favors for him and expresses regret about killing him. Though also...on the flip side, he doesn't like him enough to not murder him (although interestingly from an in-universe perspective we could even read him using Nagini to kill him as him not being able to use the killing curse against Snape due to feeling conflicted). I really like the idea though of him destroying everyone who he feels even somewhat close to.

Which leads me to my actual answer to this question since I already wrote about him and Snape in the Snape ask (linked in the previous paragraph) which is - Hagrid. In the book 2 flashback Tom and Hagrid are on a first name basis. And Tom clearly already knows that Hagrid has an Acromantula because when he gets the unexpected and unwelcome news that the school is going to be closed he immediately knows just where to go to find someone to blame. This suggests that he and Hagrid had a preexisting relationship where Riddle gained Hagrid's trust enough to learn things about him.

It's notable that they would have probably been the only 2 orphans at school (after Hagrid's father died.) I can imagine them running across each other during holidays when everyone is home. (They also both had a nonstandard accent - though Riddle has succeeded in mostly getting rid of his own accent by the time the memory takes place - that might have been looked down on by some of their privileged pureblood peers).

It's also not even clear if Tom intended for Hagrid to be expelled (though he certainly was willing to risk it in order to prevent the school from closing and to avoid incurring any blame himself) given that he seemingly intends to kill the spider and say that it got loose by accident rather than as some sort of intentional plot. He also doesn't kill Hagrid when he has the chance in book 7. This is probably just for plot reasons so JKR can have him carry Harry's presumably dead body back to the school, but in-universe it's interesting. Maybe Tom thought he could still turn Hagrid into a useful servant (which I don't think would have gone well). Either way, the fact that they seemingly had a sort of friendship at one point is very interesting and lends an added layer to Hagrid's assertion in book 1 that Slytherins are bad and not to be trusted.

While Tom likely viewed Hagrid with a certain degree of disdain right from day one, it's up to interpretation whether he ever also felt any positive emotions about his relationship with Hagrid or if the friendship was purely a one-sided farce. I prefer the former because I think it adds more depth and complexity to the characters and relationships if Tom ended up having some feelings of genuine camaraderie with Hagrid but was still willing to sacrifice him to protect his own interests. It makes the moment even more interesting if he did not specifically intend for Hagrid to get expelled and thus ends up losing one of the few people who, unlike the majority of his housemates, doesn't look askance at his presumed lineage as a muggleborn and his utter poverty. And this also adds interest to his decision in the end of book 7 to capture Hagrid rather than kill him.

Though of course, neither Snape nor Hagrid hold a candle to the true Tom Riddle BROTP of all time - Tom & Nagini. I love the way he is generally very touch averse but likes to hold her and pet her like a very terrifying therapy animal.

My unpopular opinion about this character

There's a lot I've talked about before like the fact that I think Tom really did want the DADA job and I also think he's a lot more emotionally intelligent than he gets credit for and the people he seems to enjoy hurting most are actually monied purebloods and the person who behaved most unreasonably in the orphanage memory was actually not Tom.

So for this I'll go with the fact that I view Tom as a much more tragic character than the narrative seems to frame him as. It's weird that so many other characters who do bad things get framed as a tragedy not an inevitability - something that is closely linked with the idea that even for characters who have gone down the wrong path there can be redemption. We see this with Snape, with James Potter, with Regulus, with Dumbledore, arguably with Grindelwald whose last act is to lie about the Elder Wand, and sort of even with Peter Pettigrew.

In contrast, Dumbledore always acts as though it's a forgone conclusion that Tom was going to turn out evil and ignores the way wizarding society and even he himself failed to ever do anything meaningful to help Tom or try to guide him onto another path. That doesn't mean he might not have still become Lord Voldemort. But it's never treated as something that even might have been avoided. There is no discussion of what a loss it is that his talent and power and intelligence and creativity weren't used for good. But it is a loss.

It's not inevitable that Tom turned out the way he did. It's not inevitable that he lived a life where he never knew what it was to be loved. It's not inevitable that the first person to ever offer him mercy is Harry Potter and by that point it's far too late and he doesn't even understand what Harry's trying to do. It's not inevitable that because the wizarding world has no concept of social services he grew up in a muggle orphanage without any knowledge of who or what he was, hated and feared by all, and in turn learning to hate and fear them in return. It's not inevitable that Dumbledore immediately gave him up as a lost cause and he never had an adult in his life who could provide support and guidance and a sense of safety. It's not inevitable that upon arriving at Hogwarts he got sorted into a House with people like Walburga Black who would have called him mudblood and hated him for his poverty almost as much as his bloodline, breeding further anger and resentment. And it's not inevitable that he made the choices that he did to kill and to maim. It's SAD. He could have done and been so much more.

I mean, to be clear, from a reader perspective all of this makes Tom an interesting and fun character. It's not bad from a storytelling perspective that these things happened. But nonetheless, it's a tragedy. And I think that gets very little play in the narrative. Yes, Harry tells Tom to try for remorse, but it's framed by the story more as an instance of Harry being ridiculously decent. When Dumbledore discourages Harry from feeling pity for the horrifying state Tom will find himself in the afterlife, there's nothing in the narrative framing that suggests the readers are meant to view Dumbledore's callousness as awful.

From an in-universe perspective we can talk about the strange bias Dumbledore had towards Tom from the moment he met him, but from an out of universe perspective it's more about the author's bias. Yes Dumbledore is meant to be flawed and imperfect, but we readers are not meant to think his treatment of Tom is an example of that imperfection. We're supposed to think it's just fine that upon learning that Tom has lived a lonely and miserable existence where he is constant mortal fear of being declared mad and forcibly locked up, Dumbledore's first act is to use magic to frighten and to punish. Partly this is just because that scene is a flashback about the villain of the series and JKR kind of forgot that from an in-universe POV he wasn't the villain of the series yet.

But also maybe it says something more profound - because in the end of the story the narrative declares "all is well" and yet none of the factors that led to Tom Riddle's rise have actually changed. As Harry is sending his children off to school 19 years later in the accursed epilogue, nothing has actually changed. It's fine to have a story that doesn't have a happy ending. But the narrative frames the ending as a black and white "everything's fixed now and they all lived happily ever after" sort of ending and...no. And this stems, I think, from the failure to engage with the elements that make the main antagonist a great tragedy rather than a cartoonish inevitability. This all makes the story much more interesting, but I'm not sure JKR is fully aware of what she wrote.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish we saw more of him in book 7. The opening scene at the Manor in Deathly Hallows is really tense and gripping and interesting...and a lot of the wedding planning and camping stuff in my opinion...is not. More scenes of the Death Eaters and Voldemort (delivered via Harry's visions) could have been very engaging. Furthermore, Harry could have actively explored Tom's mind and/or widened the connection to try to figure out where the Horcruxes were. This would have added drama, made Harry's connection to him more central to the plot, and allowed us to see more high stakes and interesting scenes.

#asks #Harry Potter #Tom Riddle #Voldemort #Hagrid #ask game #also thank you for your lovely words about my blog! <3

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crypticvirago · 26 days ago

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Architect Society thoughts

(This is gonna be a pretty thick info dump so I'll put it below a break so I'm not clogging up anyone's feed).

All this mostly started with my attempt at trying to figure out some odd aspects of how Architects are represented in the game, and it spiraled into me imagining hypotheticals and putting way too much thought into things that don't need it/will probably never be explained.

I know that Architect society is presented as this whole, cohesive unit in the game, but I've always wondered if it's more than that. And while we have no idea how Architect society is divided up, or if it even is, we do know that Al-An is in a position of high importance. He states as much, and considering he was given the very important task of finding a cure for the bacterium outbreak, it's likely he was pretty high up.

Which makes me start thinking about how status is represented in Architect society. If it's something physically represented (like how royalty wears crowns, or military wears uniforms) or if it's something built into the 'code' that uniquely identifies each individual 'component' or Architect in the Network

I think both, and like to imagine they use their horns as symbols of status and add adornments to them - it's almost archaic tradition but since metals like gold, silver and platinum are rare in space because of their density, having more of them symbolized importance and longevity of "usefulness", i.e., how long you've been alive and contributing to the Network

(Idk I just want to see Al-An wearing platinum jewelry with pearls or amber, because cosmically they're far rarer than emeralds or diamonds, reflecting his incredibly important status.)

Which brings me to some things never explained in game. There are statues that get made of Architects you can find in the Koppa mining site, as well as a whole ass garden that gets made as a "place to reflect". Why? What purpose does it serve, unless Architect's value art in some way? I keep thinking about that one Architect that died there. Why did they go there, and choose to die there, if they didn't find comfort in the place?

People, myself included, characterize Architect's as being solely invested in scientific study alone, but they have to value art somehow. Otherwise, why would those statues be made on 4546b? Why would all of those objects, some with purely subjective value, be displayed in the primary containment facility and the quarantine enforcement platform? Maybe not valuing it to the extent of study, but still regarding it as serving some sort of purpose.

And now, what if there's an almost outlier section of society that, rather than studying the sciences, are more interested in studying the humanities? Valuing philosophy, art and even their language, placing it in high regard? What if the number that study those has been dwindling for hundreds of years, largely looked down upon by the majority of Architect society for their study into what might not be considered important to progress? Sort of like nowadays - where people consider getting a degree in the arts secondary to a degree in the sciences. But they value that study regardless, and have their own complex of buildings atop a mountain like we see at the end of the game, in some separate location.

And even further - what if there were even Architects that found themselves discontent with being in the Network and left? Regarded with disappointment and shamed by the society they left behind, deemed crazy and defective, but finding individualism more valuable. Forming a sect somewhere either among the mountains, or below the cloud layer, away from 99% of all other Architects.

What if they alone survived the outbreak? Not deliberately, but just because the infection never had the opportunity to spread to them. They might not even know what happened to the rest, to those that remained in Network. They were told to never come back to the mountain peaks, so they never did. Never cared to. They just know that at one point the progress stopped, and the ships stopped flying overhead.

What if, when Al-An comes home, Architects he once deemed lesser, flawed and defective, are all that's left of the people he loves? Robin not understanding the differences, and is relieved and happy that there are some of his people left. But Al-An's just conflicted because they aren't his people. Not really. It'll leave Al-An with his race still technically alive, but his people are well and truly gone. There's no place for him among them, unless he can accept that sole individualism as his new reality. Having to come to terms with the fact that the society he was searching to restore can never come back to be, but the Architect's are not truly gone.

I'll likely have many more thoughts to add, but I found myself caught up thinking about the evolution of the Architect's as a species - from their birth of sentience to the cybernetically enhanced, interstellar traveling people we know in the game. About the scraped beta dialogue between Robin and Al-An about how they had to work hard to survive the threats of evolutionary and technological advancement, and all that meant for them and their society.

I could probably go on forever about what those evolutionary hurdles must have looked like and the sacrifices needed to be made to continue on, since that's just my cup of overthinking biologist tea. But I think I'll leave it here, for now.

#Thank you for reading all of this yap #if you did that is lol #I'd love to know what all of y'all's thoughts are about this #does anyone else vibe with the horn jewelry idea because i'm kinda feral about it #subnautica below zero #subnautica #cryptic yaps

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the-writer-is-always-write · 10 months ago

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Thoughts on Dune: Part Two

General Impression: I adored this movie from start to finish. Having just rewatched Part One a week ago, it felt like a seamless transition hopping back into the story. The score, the set design, the costumes, all of it was impeccable.

Chani: her character arc was obviously the biggest deviation from the book, and although I felt a lot of surprise watching it unfold, I think some reflection has left me alright with it. I've admittedly only read Dune and Dune: Messiah, but both books are clearly meant to illustrate the dangers of religious fanaticism and the ways that religion and prophecy can be manipulated and utilized as a tool for oppression. While these ideas can (hopefully) be discerned fairly clearly by the reader, I think it makes sense to have an audible voice of dissent in a film adaptation, particularly from someone among the Fremen. The only concern I have is wondering how Denis will handle Dune: Messiah, since the plot sort of hinges on Paul and Chani being together. But I guess that's a worry for later.

MY BOY MUAD'DIB: Timothee is just so utterly perfect for this role, I genuinely could not imagine anyone else doing it with such grace and gravitas. Seeing the gradual spiral of innocent teenager to reluctant leader to religious icon was heart-wrenching. Paul has honestly become one of my favorite fictional characters because his story is so complex and layered with tragedy. He's simultaneously a product of manipulation and coercion, and an angry young man seeking revenge against those who have hurt him. He lacks agency in many ways, yet he still makes decisions that lead to so much destruction. He tries so so hard to avoid the holy war, but it becomes an inevitability he can't escape. Reading Dune: Messiah for the first time a few weeks ago really helped me to understand how the prophecy controlled him as much as he used it to control others. I could literally give a ted talk on this, and how it's such a fascinating take on the messiah figure trope.

Jessica: I saw an article recently where I think Denis called Jessica "the puppetmaster," and I think that's very fitting for her depiction in this movie. I like how it openly shows the manipulation tactics of the Bene Gesserit, particularly how they prey upon the "vulnerable" Fremen first. Rebecca did a fantastic job giving the creep factor.

Feyd-Rautha: I still don't know why Denis had a vendetta against Harkonnen eyebrows, but I guess it was cool? I LOVED the black and white lighting on Giedi Prime, and the arena scene was SO. GOOD. Denis really went for it. Feyd's accent caught me off guard a few times, but overall I think the ruthless and brutal nature of the character really shined through. He's the antithesis to Paul, and I think Denis captured that theme well enough.

I thought all the other characters were well done too. Stilgar was maybe a touch too comic relief-y at times, but nothing catastrophic. Gurney was great, but I would have liked at least one more baliset scene :(

Things we missed: I'm a little bummed we didn't get Harah. I know the movie was already pretty stuffed, but I honestly thought they could have used the actress that played Chani's friend (I can't remember if they ever mention her name). Even if the idea of Paul "acquiring" her was a little icky, they could have done something else with her character at least. I was also sad they didn't do the full funeral scene with Jamis, but oh well. I think the greater omission was Thufir Hawat, but again I can see why they chose to cut him. I just think the dynamic between the Baron and Feyd-Rautha had a lot more friction in the book, mostly because of Thufir conspiring them both against each other.

I'm honestly not upset we didn't get to see freaky-toddler Alia. I was excited for Anya though!

Overall, I really loved this film. No adaptation can get every detail perfect, but I can see the ways that Denis and the actors adored this story and wanted to tell it in a powerful way. I thought the themes stayed true to the book, and I'm really hopeful we get Part Three!

AND THE WORMS. THE WORMS WERE GREAT. LONG LIVE THE WORMS.

#dune #dune part two #dune part two spoilers #dune spoilers #frank herbert #paul atreides #chani #irulan #timothee chalamet #denis villeneuve #zendaya

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dandelionjack · 7 months ago

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watched the mad woman in the attic. maybe i’m babybrained cocomelon brainrotted or something but why is this legitimately better than torchwood like?? or at least equal to it in complexity and subtext.*

but jesus christ… what a message about possessive friendship and the inability to let go �� the parallels between eve mind-controlling the homeless people to do her bidding because she “just wants friends”, sam doing the same to rani (thinking she abandoned him after he stopped being her only friend, and trying to guilt-trip her into coming back) and rani doing the same to the bannerman road gang (becoming overly paranoid and gaslighting herself into believing she’s not good enough for them because they dare mention maria). THREE LAYERS of mirroring… “maria’s the new sarah jane” being salt on the wound of rani’s aspirational “sarahjaneification” … parallels with martha’s early-s3 complex of being unable to live up to rose, too …

^the ship interface is saying this about eve, but it can just as well be interpreted in a metaphorical sense: rani is a child trying to be an adult, rani is trying to become sarah jane, and it will hurt her. funny how the ghost of doctorification haunts the narrative even in his absence, it’s that powerful. The Doctor is a sort of memetic virus that is passed down from mentor to student, and although its intensity diminishes over time, it can still be fatal. gwen wants to imitate jack harkness. jack harkness wants to imitate The Doctor. rani wants to imitate sarah jane. and sarah jane wants to imitate The Doctor

^eve’s Not-Regeneration — proof of convergent evolution among time-active species? river song’s existence says “yes”. potentially, exposure to the vortex itself gives you the “golden energy emanating from your outstretched limbs” perk

also, from a lore perspective… eve’s species are fascinating aliens. a time-sensitive AND time-active people that’s not connected to the timelords in any way, we don’t see that nearly often enough! as for their backstory (being subject to a genocide as collateral damage because a race that can see the outcome of a conflict is dangerous to both warring parties), that’s definitely a main-show rather than kids-spinoff type concept. wonder what they were doing during the War, not the war on their planet, but the universe-spanning one. judging by the capabilities of their spaceships, the time technology they used is pretty advanced. eve may have been lying by omission: maybe the species that genocided them were none other than the residents of a certain planet that tries by all means to maintain a monopoly on time travel. they don’t like other species messing about with the web that they so carefully wove… ah, now THAT’S a plot seed for a short story in a faction paradox anthology if i ever saw one

Old Rani’s plot was also all incredibly 73 yards. the more i watch, the more i realise just how intertwined ruby sunday’s story so far has been with various callbacks and parallels to sja… it’s gotta mean something? something something trickster pantheon something somehow one who waits

*i almost hesitated to post this because the internet Hates people that analyse kids’ media with any degree of sincerity (im usually toeing the line anyway; the main show isn’t really Aimed At Adults either. which we sometimes forget)

#dw #doctor who #doctor who meta #the sarah jane adventures #sja #sarah jane smith #rani chandra #torchwood #the mad woman in the attic #dw meta #sja meta #doctor who analysis #kitty.txt #ruby sunday #73 yards

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fuzziemutt · 1 year ago

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On the views of Rio in relation to Miguel within fandom

There's something I'm commonly seeing that has been worrying me which is the depictions of Rio "latina mom-ing" Miguel.

This includes Rio:

- slapping him

- coming at him with "the chancla"

- "dressing him down" verbally or yelling

- humiliating him

- straight up just... Beating him up

And I'm bringing this up because guys... This shit be low-key racist. I know racism towards latines has already been a problem (Yes. I am gesturing to the everything that is how Miguel is treated within the fandom), but I personally wanted to bring up this issue as well as I'm unsure if others have talked about it- and we all know how suck ass searching anything on this site is.

Anyways, I won't lie. I don't know how many latines are making these jokes, but it being so prevalent being her "main" interactions makes me feel even if it started as a latine joke, it sure as hell didn't stay that way.

But the depiction of Latina women as fierce, aggressive and (yes it is) straight up physically abusive (in general words) is a major fucking Problem. Latinas are often depicted in media as these "feisty exotic women" who takes no shit. Perpetuating that with Rio does not feel as #girl power as you guys might think. It feels like a step back in treating latinas not as these power houses but as... Y'know... People who aren't depicted as aggressors 24/7....

But also I really hate this cutesy look at what is a serious issue within latine communities. It's always "ha ha funny" seeing a Latina mom beating someone's ass but guys. That is still physical abuse. That is a serious issue and discussion that is held within the latine community. And seeing it so casually assigned to Rio kind of makes me feel sick.

And this isn't even tacking on that you're having a Latina beating/acting aggressive towards a canonical child abuse survivor (yes. Miguel is a child abuse survivor.) Which adds a whole new layer of how shitty this actually is.

Because I hate how people are boiling Rio down to just being an aggressor towards Miguel to "put him in his place". That's discrediting her character so badly.

Yes, latinas can be strong. Yes, latinas can be angry. Yes, latinas can get aggressive.

These are things people are and do because people are complex.

But I really need the fandom to stop for a second and really think about how they saw Rio, witnessed her give her heart on the screen, - a mom who's trying so hard to break these cycles of yelling and humiliation with kindness and understanding (even being a foil to Jeff's strong headed approach on purpose) -

took her and said "she would perpetuate a real cycle of abuse towards a fellow latino because he's the 'bad one'" and laughed.

I know you guys are depicting her like this as a means to defend Miles, but maybe not like this. Her character doesn't deserve being so bastardized like this for your stolen joke.

(which this whole "need" to defend him in the first place points right back to the racism towards Miguel if we're honest. I have complex thoughts on Miguel's interactions with Miles especially involving the end train scene but boiling a traumatized Latino man down to just being an "aggressive threat" that needs to be "put in place" as I've mentioned above is racist as hell too.)

You guys can reblog this, but don't fucking guilt trip people into reblogging this okay? I'm not giving you brownie points for that shit.

#i speak #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #rio morales #miguel o'hara

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moonsandmobilityaids · 2 months ago

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The Connection Spell Part 4

Pairings: Poly!marauders x disabled!reader Summary: The boys try and figure out how to help you with your chronic illness. Warnings: Chronic illness, discussions of invasive monitoring Note: Suggestions here are not necessarily good ones, or healthy ones, but there's a learning curve here. Series Masterlist

The room is dim, lit only by the flickering embers in the fireplace. The last vestiges of warmth cast long shadows across your accessible bedroom, where you're curled up on the bed, asleep. James lies on one side of you, his glasses set aside and his arm thrown protectively over your waist. On your other side, Sirius's steady breathing matches the rise and fall of your own chest. Remus sits in a chair nearby, a book forgotten in his lap as he watches the three of you.

Silence settles like a blanket, heavy with unspoken thoughts and lingering questions. Despite the peace that surrounds you now, the memory of pain—your pain—is still fresh in their minds. It’s been four days since James and Sirius experienced firsthand what a "good" day feels like for you, and despite your assurances that it never gets much better than this, the revelation has left them reeling.

How can they have not known? How could they have missed the signs—the wince of pain hidden behind a smile, the fatigue mistaken for exhaustion after a long day?

James doesn't know how to process what he's feeling. As someone who has always prided himself on taking care of others, especially you, the fact that he was unaware of the full extent of your daily struggles gnaws at him. He shifts slightly, careful not to wake you, and glances at Sirius and Remus. Their expressions mirror his own—a mix of guilt and determination.

They've spent the past few days brainstorming, researching, trying to figure out ways to make things easier for you. They don’t want to see you struggle more than necessary, and they feel a deep sense of responsibility to support you however they can.

But it's frustrating, James thinks, clenching his jaw. Every minute they spend planning is a minute lost, another moment you have to endure this invisible battle alone. And while he knows that rushing into solutions without thinking them through can do more harm than good, he can't help but feel an urgent need to do something, anything, to ease your burden.

"Maybe we can put a monitoring charm on her," James suggests, breaking the silence. His voice is quiet but firm, relaying both his concern and an underlying confidence that they will find solutions. "Something that will alert us when her symptoms are worse than usual."

Sirius turns to face him, his eyes reflecting the firelight. "That could work," he agrees slowly, considering the idea. "But we also need to be there for her physically. Make sure one of us is always around, especially during flare-ups." He pauses, tracing absent patterns on your arm. "And help with things... things she might not ask for because she's so used to doing them herself despite the pain."

Remus nods from his chair, a deep furrow creasing his brow as he weighs their words. There is truth in what they're saying—they should have been more attentive, more present. But he also understands that you value your independence, even if it often comes at a cost. The last thing he wants to do is make you feel smothered or incapable.

"We need to strike a balance," Remus says finally, adjusting his grip on the book in his lap. "Be there for Y/N without making her feel like we're taking over."

It's this intricate dance—the push and pull of care and autonomy—that adds another layer of complexity to their relationship with you. It already requires careful navigation; throw in a chronic illness, and the map becomes even more convoluted. But none of them would trade it for anything else. They love you—deeply, fiercely—and this shared commitment fuels their determination to support you through every painful moment.

The room grows quiet again, save for the soft crackling of the dying embers and the occasional rustle of sheets. Thoughts continue to churn, plans form and reform, all centred around you and how to make your life just a little bit easier. While uncertainty lingers, so does resolve—a testament to the depth of their feelings for you.

"What about keeping her room stocked with things that help?" Sirius suggests, his mind racing despite the late hour. "Snacks, drinks, anything that stabilises blood pressure or keeps her from getting too dizzy."

James nods, appreciating the practicality of the idea. It's a small step, but every bit helps when it comes to managing something as unpredictable as chronic illness.

"Right," he says, running a hand through his hair. "And maybe we can find shortcuts for her between classes so she doesn't have to exert herself as much.”

The embers glow faintly in the dimness, casting long shadows across the room. Their faces are etched with worry and determination—boys who are slowly coming to terms with a reality they wish they could change for you. But they're also filled with resolve, each one committed to doing whatever it takes to make your journey just a little bit easier.

You stir slightly in your sleep, a soft sigh escaping your lips. The boys freeze, their eyes locked on you, but your breathing soon evens out again. They exchange relieved glances before sinking back into their thoughts, the weight of the past few days pressing down on them like a heavy cloak.

They've been at this for hours now, brainstorming and researching ways to make things more manageable for you. Even in the quiet, the air is thick with their shared concern—a tangible force that binds them together in this moment of adversity. James rubs his temples, feeling the beginnings of a headache creep in, but he pushes it aside. Right now, you are all that matters.

"We need to figure out how to reduce how much she has to wheel herself around," Remus adds, looking up from the book he’s been scanning for useful spells. "It might not seem like a lot, but every bit of energy saved counts."

Sirius grunts in agreement, his gaze never leaving your sleeping form. "Especially on bad days, but she does let us push her when needed."

"But this still leaves us with the question of balance," James muses aloud. His fingers drum against his leg, a rhythmic beat that echoes his racing thoughts. "How do we do all this without making Y/N feel... I don't know... smothered?"

Remus closes the book with a soft thud, leaning back in his chair. "By being honest with her," he replies simply. "We let her know what we're planning, why we're doing it, and always give her the space to say no or suggest alternatives."

There's a pause as they consider this, the tension easing slightly. This isn't about taking control away from you—it's about giving you more control over your condition and its impact on your life. And while part of them wishes they could shoulder this burden entirely, they understand that respecting your autonomy is equally important.

"What if... what if we offer to help with things like massages or applying muscle rubs?" Remus’s voice is hesitant at first, but gains confidence as he continues. "Y/N has mentioned before how those can help ease pain, only they take energy she often doesn’t have."

He looks up from where his fingers have been tracing invisible patterns on the armrest, meeting the eyes of his friends. There’s an earnestness in his expression that speaks volumes about his concern for you, their shared partner who lies just a room away, oblivious to the late-night council held in her name.

"We could do that, couldn't we? When the pain gets bad, one of us could be there to help."

The implications are vast, reaching far beyond the physical act of providing relief. It means breaking down barriers, crossing into territories marked by vulnerability and trust—a step not taken lightly in any relationship, let alone one as intricately woven as theirs.

James nods slowly, considering the proposal. "That sounds reasonable enough. If Y/N is comfortable with it, I don't see why not. It would save her some strength, too."

"And perhaps..." The words trail off as Remus loses himself in thought again, the gears behind his amber eyes shifting and turning.

"Perhaps what?" Sirius prods after a moment, curiosity piqued despite the heavy lids threatening to close over his grey eyes.

Remus straightens, pushing back the sleeves of his worn jumper. "I was thinking that maybe we should learn more about her conditions. Not just from what Y/N tells us, but from other sources as well."

He reaches for another book, flipping through its pages without really seeing them. It's more of a nervous habit than anything else, a way to channel the restless energy coursing through him.

"I mean, we have access to the library and all sorts of texts, both magical and Muggle. We might find something useful—something that hasn't been tried yet, or even just better ways to manage symptoms."

There's a pause as James and Sirius process this, the idea so simple yet somehow overlooked until now. Of course they should learn more; knowledge is power, after all, especially when it comes to combating something as unpredictable as chronic illness.

It falls within Remus' nature to suggest such a thing—he's always been the researcher, the strategist. Where others might rush headlong into a situation, Remus hangs back, assessing and planning until he knows the best course of action. And right now, the best course of action is clear: They need to understand your health as much as possible, leaving no stone unturned in their quest to support you.

“We'll talk to her about it tomorrow," James decides, pushing himself off the bed. His muscles protest the movement, a stark reminder of the late hour. But despite the fatigue pulling at his limbs, there's a newfound energy coursing through him. It's not unlike the adrenaline rush after a Quidditch match—exhilarating and exhausting all at once.

Yeah," Sirius agrees, stifling a yawn behind his hand. "She should be part of the planning."

James rubs his temples, feeling the beginnings of a headache creep in, but he pushes it aside. Right now, you are all that matters.

"Whatever we do," he murmurs, "we can't let her push herself too hard."

"Agreed," Remus says, closing another book with a sigh. "We'll need to be careful, mindful of her limits even when she isn't."

Sirius nods, pressing closer to you as if to shield you from any potential harm. His arm tightens around you protectively, a silent vow woven into the rhythm of your shared breaths.

"We'll figure it out," he whispers into the darkness, "for Y/N."

The room feels lighter, the weight of their concerns shared among them. They’re determined to make your life easier, to show their love not only in grand gestures but in the small, everyday ways that matter.

For now, though, they stay where they are, curled protectively around you, knowing that when you wake, they’ll face the next steps together.

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