#maybe my favorite scene in anything ever actually like it undoes me completely

[kagoutiss]

study of my favorite scene from twilight princess

[mercy-burning]

Your Favorite — Part 2

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Y/N and Spencer decide to keep seeing each other in secret. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Adults w/ age gap, cockwarming, heavy petting, penetrative/unprotected sex, breeding kink, oral sex (both receiving), degradation, exhibitionism, fingering, cum play maybe? Word Count: 7.5k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST

NOTE: This is... *nervous laugh* this is pure filth. Like... It’s nothing but sex scenes, y’all. Buckle in. (Also the end is a lil angsty so watch out hehehe)

———

JULY 8th

"You're sure you guys are okay without me for a little while?"

I love my mom. Really, I do.

But if she delays her bath for any longer than one more second, I'm going to burst into flames.

Thankfully it seems that Spencer is patient enough for the both of us. "Positive. You deserve to relax a little. Go. Take your bath, we'll be fine."

Mom looks to me for extra reassurance, and I give it to her with a nod.

"Okay. I'll try not to be too long."

She turns and kisses Spencer, long and lovesick, and I want to barf. What's even worse is that when she pulls away and pats my head before retreating up the stairs, he's smiling. And he's supposed to, I know that. Part of him obviously cares about my mom, and even if he's only fucking me on the side, the fact remains that he goes to sleep next to her. That's the way it has to be.

But it still makes me incredibly envious.

It's a problem.

Mom is upstairs now, but our rule is that unless we know for certain that she's not coming into sight or earshot anytime soon, we remain distant.

Still, I make my distaste for their affections known. "You guys are gross..."

Spencer laughs, his hand sneaking over the couch cushion and grazing the end of my skirt. "Jealous, are we?"

Of course, I have to make it difficult for him. "You're a genius, you tell me..."

"Hey now... You're lucky I'm giving you any attention at all... Besides, you know the rules."

I glance over at him, practically crumbling apart at the seams under his intense gaze. It's one I've gotten used to as of late, one that rivals every smile I've ever seen him give my mother.

"Doesn't make it any easier," I mumble, glancing down at where his fingers are still toying with my skirt.

"I know..." He reaches out and touches my hand, and my skin tingles. "Come here."

Even though I can hear that the bath water has only just started running from below, I comply all the same. I scramble off the couch and return on his lap, straddling him and nesting my fingers through his hair while I lean in to kiss him.

He welcomes me with open arms and an open mouth. The moment our tongues brush, I sigh and melt into him, needing desperately to be as close as possible. Our kisses then are languid and wet, and soft. We don't want to get carried away in case we need to be alert and jump apart, so it's best to keep our bodies controlled.

But as I'm learning, around Spencer, controlling myself is painstakingly difficult.

A whine escapes me when his right hand slips under my skirt and rests along the inside of my thigh, and I shift, silently begging him to give me more.

"So impatient..." he mumbles over my mouth.

I pull away and slide my hands down over his neck and shoulders, my hips rolling forward as I pout. "I haven't had you all week. I'm lonely..."

It's true.

Once all my STD tests came back clean and I got my birth control figured out and solid, the first thing he did was tell my mom he wasn't feeling well and texted me the address to his apartment. And after I told her I was meeting up with a friend, I drove over there and got my brains completely fucked out. We spent all day under the sheets, on the couch, over the kitchen counter, and then on the floor, until I had to go home and pretend like it never happened.

Since then we'd only slept together once, and that was just over a week ago, quickly while Mom ran to the store for an onion of all things. And then Spencer had been busy with consulting on new cases that his old job wanted a little help with, and once he had free time, Mom insisted they go on a date weekend.

I pout harder, stomach churning at the memory of the look he gave me before they left—a silent, sweet goodbye that had left me empty and wanting.

But he's just amused.

A smirk ghosts over his lips, red and a little puffy from the pressure of my own against them. "So I definitely can't trust you to be quiet enough to fuck you properly..."

That warrants another whine and another roll of my hips, and I can feel his hand gripping my thigh a little tighter.

"Please... Spencer, I need you..."

His name rolling off my tongue must be what makes him give into me, because I barely have time to react before he's kissing me again, using both of his hands to lift the back of my skirt up and knead my ass.

"Wait... Are you wearing..."

I grin over his lips, wiggling my ass into his touch and utterly turned on by the fact that he knows what underwear I'm wearing just by touch.

"Mhmm," I answer, nipping his bottom lip. "Your favorite..."

The sound that rumbles in his chest as he crashes his body against mine has to be the sexiest thing I've ever heard. He's obviously trying not to be loud, but it's hard, and that makes the sound strained. He really wants this, wants to keep me, and to do that he has to refrain from going absolutely primal right now. He has to do anything to keep this quiet.

So he pushes me off of him, and I pout, thinking he's given up until we can get a true moment alone.

But I know that isn't the case when he spins his finger and then starts undoing his pants.

"Turn around, sweetheart," he huffs, slipping his pants and underwear down just enough that his erection emerges free. "You're gonna sit here, keep quiet, and keep my cock nice and warm, understood?"

Don't have to tell me twice... I'll fucking take what I can get.

So I spin, back up, and move all my clothing to the side, my skirt lifting as I nestle into Spencer's lap and hold my panties to the side. He laughs at my eagerness, though he isn't laughing much longer once I sink down onto him and get in real close. His hands come out to grab my chest and pull me flush against his own.

The way he stretches and fills me has my eyes rolling back, a long, happy sigh falling from my lips. I wish I could say I'm being dramatic about it, but I'm really not.

I'm genuinely relieved and satisfied with the burn.

"There's my girl," Spencer muses through a sigh of his own, his breath fanning gently over my neck right before he gives it an open-mouthed kiss.

His hands slip under the baggy sweater I'm wearing and run along the planes of my stomach, then up and up, taking the fabric with him until it rests above my bare chest. Being exposed like this, right in the middle of the living room while my mom is just upstairs, excites me more than I think it should.

While Spencer kisses and licks at my neck, his hands now gently kneading my breasts, I squirm.

He doesn't like that very much.

"Ah-ah," he warns, squeezing me tight and pulling me into him more. "Relax..."

He hooks his legs around mine then, spreading them apart and somehow filling me deeper. I whine, leaning my head back onto his shoulder and trying not to roll my hips.

Instead, I settle for clenching myself around him, and that seems to be the right move.

"Atta girl... Lay back and relax... Just feel me filling you up nice and slow..."

"Mmmm," I respond in kind as his hands loosen and glide down my body.

He's light with his touch, though the kisses on my neck feel hungry, and his cock feels heavy and thick inside me. It's a beautiful contrast, really, making me feel so full and yet so light, like I'm a raincloud.

Soon his fingers dip under my skirt and cover my hand, which is working at keeping my panties off to the side. He traces the curves of my fingers with his own, mumbling praises and scattering kisses along the side of my neck. And I'm distracted enough that I almost don't feel his other hand make gentle contact with my clit until I gasp from the sharp sensation.

I can feel his smile against my skin as he starts rubbing in slow, precise circles.

"That feel good, princess?"

"Uh huh," I breathe out, trying to keep still. My other hand digs into my knee in hopes that I can stay grounded and focused on keeping still. But despite that, I'm feeling rather calm. Satisfied...

Right where he wants me.

"Mmm..." He hums happily into my skin, continuing to kiss my neck while working my clit.

And I have no idea how long we lay there. It feels like it could be hours.

The TV is on, but we're not paying any attention to it. In the back of my mind I know that Mom could be done with her bath at any minute, but it's been too long without Spencer inside me... And even though he's not actually fucking me, just having him this close and feeling him touch me, fill me, breathe me in...

God, I never want it to stop.

I'm almost on the verge of coming, but he removes his hand from me and slides them up my stomach again.

I whine at the loss of orgasm, but he pays it no mind. "Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start moving..."

I start to get excited, wiggling in his lap a little.

With a dark laugh, he brings his hands to my breasts, kneading them gently and nipping my earlobe. Getting my attention...

"But you're not gonna stop until I fill that slutty little cunt with my cum, got it? I don't care if you come more than once. I don't care if you come at all... I don't care if your mom comes down here and sees..."

I swear I almost come on the spot from his words alone.

And then his voice is somehow even darker, seeping through my skin and settling into the very deepest parts of me.

"You will not stop until you make me come, am I clear?"

I wouldn't deny him if I could. I'm so damn whipped by this man, so eager to please and be near him that he could ask me to do any fucking thing on the planet and I would.

My rational brain might have second-guessed that feeling if it hadn't been horny as fuck...

And so I get to it, maneuvering my hips and working Spencer's cock like my life depends on it. And honestly, it kind of does, because if my mother comes down and catches us I'm dead.

Despite the urgency, though, I relish every second of it. I try to remember every sensation vividly because I don't know when I'll get to feel it again. So every time I sit back down on his dick, I clench it on the way up, because I know that drives him wild and it also means I get to feel him grab me tighter.

I can't see him, not even really when I turn my head, but I can picture how he's probably biting his lip, trying not to be loud. His eyes are probably shooting daggers at the ceiling, praying to the heavens above that my mom won't come down.

But it looks like the heavens above have decided to damn us to hell.

That unmistakable sound of the drain in the tub rumbles through the ceiling and down the inside of the walls as the water travels through the pipes, and my heartbeat races faster than it ever has.

Spencer tugs my hair then, pulling my head to meet his shoulder once more. "You better hurry, little girl..."

That's when I finally come. My cunt throbs and shakes around him as I bounce as quietly as I can. His grip in my hair is tighter, urging me to keep going, and the sharp sensation seems to extend my orgasm a little.

I whimper and whine as I feel it, and that seems to be what does him in.

"Fuck, Y/N, that's it... That's my girl..."

Four more bounces from me is all it takes, and then he's holding my hips in place. He grunts as quietly as possible into my shoulder and fucks into me slowly, filling me to the brim with his cum and breathing harshly into my skin.

I can hear Mom walking around upstairs, most likely getting dressed, which means she'll be down any minute...

"Time to get up, princess," Spencer whispers a moment later, letting go of my hips.

I turn my head into his neck, whining. "I don'wanna..."

"I know, I know... But you have to."

I know he's right. But I can't just get up and lose him so quickly. I want to hold on for as long as possible.

So I tilt my head up and bring his lips to mine. Thankfully he doesn't reject me, instead returning my affections and sighing into my mouth. He's still sheathed inside me, and I can feel his cum very slowly starting to drip down.

I have to get up now...

My mouth reluctantly parts from his and pouts. I expect him to return it with a sad smile, but his lips are rather mischievous.

He smirks, lifting me off of him and quickly pulling my panties back in place. His cum instantly soaks into the thin, lavender fabric, and it only reminds me of his absence.

But then Spencer spins me around on the heels of my feet and presses his hand firmly to my clothed, sopping wet cunt under my skirt, rubbing it in and making me whimper out at the overstimulation.

"I missed you," he whispers sincerely. Sweetly...

I can't help but smile as I lean down to kiss him one more time.

"I missed you, too."

JULY 23rd

I've been looking forward to this weekend since Mom brought it up after her bath—A call from work. A weekend business trip across the country.

She would be gone for almost a whole week.

Spencer's already started on his coursework for the next school year so he'll be busy most days, but at night? That's when he's all mine.

The only hard part about this, really, is containing my excitement. Just yesterday Spencer got me alone and warned me that I better keep my cool and be patient. Though, the way he said it was hardly a bad thing considering it gave me an excuse to feel his hands on me, even in the laundry room where, more or less, this had all started.

Even now I can still feel their warmth and their heft as they grope and paw at my breasts while he attacks my neck with sloppy kisses.

But right now he's not here, and as much as I can't wait to spend the week with him, my mom is also going to be gone for that long.

Just because I'm fucking her boyfriend on a regular basis doesn't mean I don't still love her.

Though, the thought of it all makes me a little uneasy—I don't know what the future holds. I know Spencer obviously cares about my mom, but if it really gets to a point where they've been together long enough, would he ever marry her?

And then what?

It's one thing for him to be my mom's boyfriend, who doesn't live here and only stays when he can... But it's a whole other one to be my stepfather. And what if my mom wants to have another kid?

No.

I'm not even going to think about it... If it ever gets to that point, then we'll deal with it, but right now I've only known Spencer for nearly 2 months, and it's way too soon to be thinking about any of that right now.

"You gonna be alright without me for a week?"

I curl into Mom's side, laughing and thankful for her distraction. "I spend almost a whole year away at college without you, I think I can survive five days."

"Ugh, don't remind me. I wish you could just stay here with me forever."

"Ha, no you don't. I'm a menace."

"Only when you eat all my food and then complain that you're starving..."

My eyes roll affectionately. "Mom. That was one time, and I was fifteen and dramatic."

She kisses the top of my head and then rests her chin on it. "Then my point stands... You were only a menace when you were fifteen. Now you're an angel."

I can tell she's sincere, and when I tell her Thank you, it feels incredibly deceitful—Especially when she starts humming my favorite song and brushing through my hair with her fingers, just like she used to do to get me to sleep as a kid. The foggy feeling it sends through my bloodstream reminds me that I'm definitely not the same person I was back then.

Although, it is true that some things never change, and within minutes I'm soundly asleep in my mother's arms.

———

When Spencer and I are sending her off at the airport the next morning, my heart thrums wildly in my chest.

"You have Spencer's number in case of an emergency?" she asks me in a haste.

"Yes, Mom. For the thousandth time, I have his number, and I have Grandma's number, and I have just about every other number you've ever given me for emergency contacts."

She gives me The Look.

"Yes, I have it. And I'll be okay. I love you."

"Oh, I love you, too," she says, pulling me in for one last breath-reducing hug, though, that's not truly what knocks the breath from my lungs.

She goes to Spencer next, reaching up to give him a goodbye kiss. I'm expecting it. I'm okay with it.

But this is unlike any other kiss I've seen them share, and it admittedly makes me jealous.

Spencer almost has her off the ground, pressing her close to him and kissing her deeply. Her hands weave through his hair as he tilts his head, and this time I can see his tongue slip into her mouth.

"O—kaaay, my eyes are burning... Thank you for that..."

I know I can get away with that because it's a completely normal reaction to seeing your mother make out with anyone, so I don't feel bad about it one bit. And I especially don't feel bad about the warning look he gives me over my mom's shoulder when she comes to give me another hug.

But then she's gone, and minutes later we're leaving the airport parking lot, and I can't seem to shake my jealousy. Even when his hand rests politely on my knee.

The whole way home I only barely acknowledge his presence, giving him half-hearted smiles and remaining mostly still when he glides his hand higher up my leg. By the time his fingers slip under the hem of my skirt, I think he knows something is up, because it stops there.

He waits until we get in the house to bring it up.

"Y/N, are you okay?"

I plop myself down on the couch with an overexaggerated sigh. "Kinda..."

I know Spencer used to be a profiler, and really, it's not that hard to figure out what's wrong with me. But it's still a little scary how easily he just knows.

"You know I had to," he says, walking over and standing in front of me. "Keeping up appearances and whatnot."

He's right. And it's a consequence of what we've decided to do, so really I'm in no place to complain.

Still, I reach out and pull him in by the belt loops, leaning my face in rather close to his crotch. "You know... Actually, I think you just like making me jealous..."

The smile that dances over his lips is amused and downright sinful. "Oh?"

"Mhmm," I drawl, sliding my hands to the front of his pants and rubbing him through the fabric.

He laughs. "Yeah, you are pretty cute when you're all huffy."

With big eyes and a fluttering in my stomach at the way he looks down at me, I feel that pressing of jealousy start to lift off my chest. I know that within an hour he'll have me pinned under his body somehow, and the thought allows my response to come out clearly and without question.

"So how are you gonna make it up to me?"

———

We're already out of our clothes by the time we make it upstairs. And when we finally get into my bedroom, I'm about to shut the door and then Spencer stops me.

"No one's home, sweetheart... Leave it open."

He takes two steps and has me in his arms, his hands sliding down my back and resting over my ass. And when he gives it a squeeze, he grins down at me. "You're gonna be loud for me, understand?"

"Hey, that's on you," I tease, wiggling against him. "You want me loud? Make me loud."

His grip on my ass gets tighter as he pulls me closer, and I yelp out. "Don't challenge me, little girl... You'll regret it."

I laugh then, calling back to his earlier statement. "Aw... You're pretty cute when you're all huffy..."

"Alright, fine."

The next thing I know, I'm on my knees, and his hands are rooting in my hair. The rough carpet underneath me already burns, but I know in the end it's gonna be so worth it.

Spencer brings me close to his exposed crotch and tilts my head up to look at him. "I'm gonna fuck that attitude right out of your pretty little mouth, got it? And you're not gonna do a damn thing but take it like a good girl."

I would have asked him if that was a threat or a promise if he hadn't immediately shoved his dick in my mouth. It has me wet in an instant, the way he just pulls me onto him and starts fucking my face with an urgency that seems to contradict all the time we have. He needs me now, with no time for teasing or pleasantries, and I fucking love it.

Which is why I do as I'm told, enjoying every second as he holds my head still and snaps his hips forward, his velvety smooth cock gliding over my tongue and down my throat with ease. It doesn't take long for my eyes to water, my vision going blurry and my body growing hot. My face is angled straight ahead, but I still find a way to look up at him, and from this low angle?

It's the best thing I've ever seen.

No matter how many times I've been on my knees like this, staring up at Spencer as he loses himself at my hands (or rather my mouth, if you want to get technical), I swear I could never tire of it.

His eyes are glaring down at me as he concentrates, his arms are out in front of me as they hold my head in place, and his pubic bone and sculpted hips are right there, moving ferociously in front of my eyes. He's so deep in my throat for a few seconds, holding me down while I gag around him, that my nose is buried in the soft trail of hair that gathers on his skin, and I want to stay there forever.

But my gag reflex isn't much durable for more than fifteen seconds, much less forever, so I have to pull back.

Spencer pulls me off of him completely, a trail of spit following my lips and then detaching until it lands along my chin. I blink away some of the tears that had gathered in my eyes and pout up at him.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"You're supposed to be making it up to me..." My voice is scratchy and a little hoarse now, but I know it'll probably be worse if Spencer really thinks he can make me as loud as he says (which I truly don't doubt for a second).

He tugs me up by the hair, and I whine as I get to my feet, my knees aching already. And then his mouth is on my cheek, gently kissing away a tear. "Aw, I thought you liked having my dick in your mouth..."

"I do..."I giggled a little, nestling into his body and feeling his erection, now slick with my saliva, press up against the inside of my thigh. "But I like it better in other places..."

"Mmm, you're right... I do, too..."

I certainly hadn't been expecting that answer.

But it doesn't surprise me when he walks us over to the foot of my bed and pushes me onto it. "Hands and knees, princess."

My knees still burn from the carpet, and I'm sure this squeaky-ass mattress won't alleviate the pain at all, but if there's one thing I've learned since having sex with Spencer it's that pain is all part of the pleasure.

So I don't question it. My limbs submit to his simple command, and once I turn away from him and perch myself on my hands and knees, I can feel him climbing on the bed and crawling up the backside of my body. His hands roam my ass and my waist, and within seconds he has his cock nestled against me.

He moves nice and slow at first, dragging the length of him through my slick cunt and ghosting the skin of my backside with his hands.

"Remember... Nice and loud, okay? Wanna hear how good I make you feel."

Like I could ever deny him. Even though I like to tease him and push his buttons, I couldn't think of a single thing in the moment that I'd ever deny him.

So he finally pushes into me, stretching me out well and good, and a low groan slowly rolls off my tongue like a waterfall. And I'm not doing it for his sake; It's like he draws it out of me like a syringe, and I'm utterly powerless against it... Against him.

Like I need a metaphor to explain how I'm well and truly his bitch...

"There she is..." Spencer breathes, reaching the very deepest part of me and staying there. "There's my obedient little girl... Tell me what you want."

I turn my head to get as good of a look at him as I can, and give him the pout to end all pouts. "I want you to fuck me, hard... Please?"

His answer is a gentle push forward, his body leaning over mine to take my hands and pin them behind my back, which pulls me up towards him so that my back is nearly flush with his chest. His hands are so big that one of them is able to hold both of my wrists while the other gathers my hair and tugs.

I feel like I'm being held by a bungee cord, especially when Spencer starts snapping his hips and pounding into me roughly. My knees are pushing into the springs of the mattress and lifting again with each thrust, and I can't help the stream of whimpers and shouts that escape me at the whole experience.

He lets go of my hair in favor of reaching around and palming my left tit, his pace never faltering for a second. Everything he's doing is precise and swift and so fucking good that my eyes can hardly stay open.

"I'm hearing you, pretty girl, but I don't think you're quite loud enough..." he grumbles in my ear, letting go of me and gently pushing me back down on the bed. He slips out of me and I whine at the loss, but I don't have to worry about it much longer when I feel him lay down over top of me and slam into me hard.

I yelp out, my hands reaching out and clutching the comforter for dear life. Spencer's hands, meanwhile, push up off the mattress on either side of my hips to lift himself up, and then he's grabbing my waist and pushing me into it while he fucks me.

When I instinctively shove my face down and try to muffle myself, though, one of his hands leaves my waist and comes up to tug my hair, pulling my head up. His hips pause, pressed deep into my backside, and I can feel how he's struggling to keep still.

"Uh-uh... No one's home, princess... Let it all out..."

He pulls back and plows into me again, and this time his pace is frustratingly slow. With each slam forward my voice grows louder, begging him for more with incoherence until I start to feel myself grow tense with pleasure.

"You're almost there, baby, I can feel it," Spencer breathes. His voice is far away, and I wish he was closer, his breath on my neck and his lips not far behind. But for now I gladly settle for his hands, tight and bruising on my hips, and the force of his pelvis as it collides brutally and wonderfully with my ass.

What finally brings me sweet release is the sound of him grunting out one word. A command. And once again it's like I'm powerless under his spell.

"Come."

I do, and he fucks me thoroughly through each wave. Even once I've finished, he chases his own orgasm for minutes.

By the sounds he's making and the way his hips falter here and there, I can tell he's close, but he wants to make it last. I want to tell him that we have all weekend, to maybe tease him a bit, but I'm so fucked out and incoherent that I couldn't have said a single word if I tried.

So I lay there and take it with a weary smile on my face, ever the whiny, whimpering mess that I am, and patiently wait for the moment he decides to let go.

And when he does, it's the most glorious feeling in the world. I'm tired, yes, but never tired enough to lift myself and wiggle my ass back into him, clenching myself around him and relishing in the way he grunts out my name. He empties himself into me, and I hum, positively satisfied and warm.

Before I know it, I'm sinking down within the comfort of my blankets, and I rest my head in my arms, the pillow still a little too far out of reach. And though I'm content, I still whine out sadly when Spencer retreats and leaves me feeling empty.

I'm about to tell him to get over here and cuddle me when I feel his weight redistribute, and it isn't long before he has his head between my legs, his tongue acting as a net for the cum that drips out of me. He barely touches me, only the tiniest of flicks with the tip of his tongue darting over my skin. I can't tell if I'm thankful because of the relief or if I want the burn to go on forever.

In the end, I don't really have a choice.

He pushes his tongue up, sweeping over my dripping cunt and cleaning me up. Suddenly his mouth is everywhere, making the most delicious sounds and bringing me closer to another orgasm, and all I can do is let it happen. My weary smile is joined by a fluttering pair of eyelids and a string of whimpers that are so small they don't dare drown out the words Spencer is grumbling between my legs.

Some of which, I can hear, sound out, "Another one..."

His finger adds to the mix, coming up and rubbing my clit in tight circles as he finishes cleaning up the mess he made, and within seconds I'm a writhing mess at his undoing.

I'm not sure how long it lasts, only that one second I'm tensing with another orgasm and the next I'm having my limbs moved.

Spencer is beside me in an instant, his face coming into view as I feel my breathing slow to a steadier pace. The longer I wait, the more focused I am on his features, soft and even a little concerned as he strokes some of the hair from my face.

"How are you feeling?"

The smile that beams across my face is just about the most natural thing I'd ever felt. And it seems to bring out those bright glints of adoration in his eyes that only ever serve to make my heart flutter, which makes what I tell him even more true.

"I'm happy."

JULY 27th

Waking up to Spencer next to me, while a daily occurrence these past few days, is still possibly the most surprising and comforting feeling in the world.

Our bodies never part. From the moment we lay down to sleep until the moment we wake up and decide it's time to start doing necessary daily things, not one inch of skin is untouched. Even when showering.

I think back to yesterday morning, where he dragged me out of bed because he had to pee and didn't want to leave me. I was slumped over the backside of his body while he went and then in his arms again while he ran us a shower to wake up.

It brings the widest smile to my face, however sleepy it may also be.

"What are you smiling for?"

I squint one eye open and see that Spencer is staring at me. I hadn't expected him to be awake.

"Just thinking about yesterday..."

He tightens his grip on my waist and pulls me even closer, my face instantly drawn to the crook of his neck. "Mmm," he hums as I nestle in and press a sleepy kiss to the bare skin at the column of his throat. "Which part?"

"Our shower."

I feel his thumb then, rubbing back and forth over my hip as clearly as I can feel him smile against the top of my head. "That was fun, wasn't it..."

"Mhmm," I agree. My lightly tongue traces over his collarbone before I kiss it again. "Our shower is much better equipped for sex than yours."

"So... What you're saying is that shower sex is out of the question this morning?" he confirms with a laugh.

"That's exactly what I'm saying..."

"Well then, princess, what uhh... What alternatives do you think we should try out?"

I start to laugh when he pulls my leg up over his waist and hoists me over on top of him. My face remains buried into his neck, though I trail my lips up and up until I reach his jaw.

"Hmm... What if I just ride you and see where it takes us?"

When my lips finally reach his cheek, Spencer shifts and captures them in a long, butterfly-inducing kiss before pulling away with a smile and brushing the hair from my face. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

It helps that I can already feel him hardening beneath me, and from the moment I felt his hands on me, I'd been aroused.

Though, as soon as I line him up and get ready to start our morning the right way, his phone rings on the bedside table. I'm tempted to keep going, but he half pushes me off of him when he reaches and reads the name.

"It's your mom."

That instantly kills my mood.

With a dramatic sigh and a pout, I hop off of him and curl up under the covers, letting him answer.

"Good morning," he chirps rather happily, and I try not to imagine my moms smile on the other end of the line. Thankfully I can't hear her, but I can still see Spencer smiling as he greets her and goes through all the pleasantries that come with a long distance relationship; I miss yous and how are yous...

I wonder if he really does miss her. He must, at least a little, right?

I'm staring straight ahead now, picking at my nails while I wait for them to finish talking, but something feels off.

I can feel Spencer's eyes on me.

But then he asks, "What are you wearing?" through the phone with a voice so playful and seductive, and I snap my head around, glaring at him.

"Really?" I mouth.

The smirk on his face makes me want to chuck his phone across the room.

"Mmm," he hums, looking me dead in the eye. And the next time he speaks, I swear he's talking directly to me. "Why don't you take it off... I want to talk you through some things..."

I know my mom is hearing the roughness in his voice through the phone, but right now I can see his eyes, hungry as they rake over my body once I slowly peel the blanket away and reveal myself to him, and I know that his main goal isn't to get my mom off.

It's to finish what we started before she'd interrupted.

"Touch yourself for me, baby? Nice and slow. Just relax..."

He softly crawls over to me, keeping the phone to his ear with one hand while the other takes my knees and spreads them apart.

I start to touch myself as instructed, but he swats my hand away and winks, nestling between my legs. I lean up on my elbows and tilt my head, wondering where he's going with this, when he leans his other cheek into my thigh.

"You know what I'd do to you right now If I was there?" A small pause. And then, "I'd use my fingers to slowly stretch you open... Feel you contract around me..."

His fingers do exactly like he says, and I have to stop myself from making any sound. The evil grin growing on his face as he does it all makes it even harder.

"I'd finger-fuck you nice and slow," he continues in a voice just above a whisper. "Until you're begging me for more."

When his eyes meet mine, once more I want to lean forward, snatch his phone, and smash it on the floor. I want him to utterly devour me, without any interruptions or avoidances at getting caught.

But he's such a fucking tease.

Mom must be talking on the other end, because Spencer is silent, slowly fucking me with his fingers and watching them intently as they disappear inside me. Entranced... The thought of her speaking to him and holding his attention makes me jealous— Sure, he's fucking me right now, but really, she's the one calling the shots.

I lean my head back in frustration, letting out the tiniest of whines and grinding my hips up into his hand, hoping and pleading for more.

A low laugh leaves him. "Please, what?"

It's not lost on me that my mom must have asked for more from him at the same time I did... It cements just how absolutely fucked this whole situation is, and yet I can't help but clench around his fingers in earnest, silently pleading with him to go on.

He removes his fingers from me and I sigh out, trying not to disrupt their call.

"And... How would you like me to fuck you?" he asks, looking at me with an evil grin and knowing damn well I can't actually answer.

After he gets her answer, he climbs up on his knees and spreads my legs further, throwing one of them up on his shoulder while he leaves the other on the bed. Since he only has one hand to work with, he gestures to it and I help him out, lifting my other leg up to my chest and holding it with one arm to let him get inside at a good angle.

"Yeah, and how do you want it, baby?" He lines himself up with me and very slowly sinks the head of his cock in, holding it and running his hand along my stomach. "I'm thinking... I'd like to fuck you so slow you're practically writhing beneath me..."

I stick my tongue out at him, and then without warning he slams into me. I bring a hand to my mouth and bite down on my finger, trying not to make a sound.

"You're gonna be patient... And you're gonna let me take my time... Until you're nice and desperate... Whining out for me like a good little whore..."

Each sentence is punctuated with another thrust, hard and deep, followed by a short pause, and it's all I can do not to cry out his name and beg him to go faster.

Mom must be talking on the line again, because Spencer doesn't say a word as he fucks me. His pace doesn't pick up or slow, and his own self control starts to recede—I can see it in his features. I can also feel it in the way his free hand grips my leg. He wants to go faster, he wants to lose control, and this is killing him just as much as it's killing me.

But then he pants into the phone, his voice breaking a little as he pauses and rolls his hips into me, slow and burning. I whine into my hand as quietly as possible, and he asks the question that will seal my fate.

"Where do you want it?"

I wait, clenching around him and praying for the result I want.

And then he laughs. "Yeah? You like when I paint you with my cum, huh?"

I shake my head, silently begging him to resist and stay inside me, but he only shrugs as if to say, Sorry about your luck, and then pulls out, leaving me whiny and desperate.

Just like he said.

And then, he comes all over me, stroking himself fast and hard. Even though I've still yet to feel any sort of relief, seeing him in front of me like this, feeling his warmth dance across my skin in warm spurts, and hearing him groan out as he watches my body gladly accept it all...

It's quite honestly the most satisfying thing I've ever seen.

I can't say I'm not happy, though, when he slumps down and pants, sighing out a few goodbyes to my mom and then tossing his phone on the floor when she hangs up.

He smiles at me then, and I pout.

"You're evil..."

"Mmm, you love it," he drawls, leaning down and starting to dart his tongue over the mess he made on my stomach. Meanwhile his finger finds its way inside me again, and I feel myself start to turn into a writhing mess once more.

And he's right.

I do love it.

JULY 29th

Approaching the front door with Mom in step behind me, knowing that Spencer awaits for her on the other side isn't what makes my heart jump out of my chest.

It's the look on both of their faces when they see each other.

Though I push Mom forward to go see him, it nearly breaks me seeing her run into his arms. He picks her up and spins her around, reminiscent of their little moment at the airport, and the pure happiness on her face specifically makes my stomach twist.

This time it isn't jealousy.

It's guilt.

She's... incredibly happy. I don't think I've ever seen her this happy before. She's positively beaming as she hugs him tight and buries her face into his chest.

And when he looks past her head and looks over at me, I feel it.

The heartache.

Spencer's eyes burn holes into my own, and fill them with a sympathy that makes me feel more wounded than comforted.

I wonder then if he can see it on my face; The way I'm trying not to break down and cry... The way I'm only holding myself together by the weak smile I'm wearing, both to assure him that I'm fine and also to feign happiness for my mother, rather than the aching envy and sadness that festers within every crevice of my soul.

I offer to grab more of Mom's things from the car and dart right back out the door to avoid them for a little while. Maybe to also get some fresh air, even though I'd just been outside less than a minute ago.

After flinging open the trunk of the car, I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut, feeling my chest start to tighten at the realization that I might be starting to fall in love with him.

A man who isn't mine, and who could never be.

———

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[moxfirefly]

Hi, honey! How are you? ✨

Can I ask you to write something? 👉🏻👈🏻

I can't decide between *Tearful Kiss* with Donnie or *" Don't ever scare me like that again" kiss* with Mikey so do whatever you want, I know that you'll do it fantastic as always ❤️✨

Thanks!

Ima go with Mikey cause I haven’t gotten something with him yet and he’s my boi

So a little angsty with good feels in the end

Rated Angsty (some blood mentions)

Their job came with its various hazards, not too mention so much bruising and healing.

By this time you had become so adept to sowing up the guys that you could put any veteran nurse to shame. The act though, wasn’t your favorite. You wish this didn’t have to be a common activity.

You wish the fighting would seize.

You’re on the subway when you catch talk about an abandone power plant being blown up. The groups of adults reading the current trending hashtags spoke animatedly amongst themselves. You caught bits and pieces, something about rougue monsters settings you shop there, something about hostages, something about a fire. You swallowed, pulling out your phone and sending a quick ‘you ok?’ to Mikey.

The lack of a quick response was worrisome. Mikey could multitask, you had been once on face time with him while he literally beat some thugs up.

Maybe said thugs were causing more problems, surely he’d text back with his slew of emojis soon enough.

Five stops later and above you still had no reply. The passing sirens of the police and fire department made your brows knit together. You texted Casey to see if he had any intel on the situation but radio silence remained.

A block into your treck back home your gut was doing a summer olympics on you. Maybe you could back track and make for the Lair, wait this out there and hope the scuffle was under control. You stood in the middle of the sidewalk chewing the inside of your cheeks.

‘He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine’

You sat on the couch, every new channel reporting about the factory, the explosion had been its undoing and the helicopter feed from above showed the blazing fire lighting up the night sky. Each report stated it could’ve been worse, that somehow something had managed to contain the situation to just this.

You were white knuckling your phone, still no response from Mikey or anybody else. April wasn’t either but she was actually live reporting from the scene. Something in her eyes gave way to her worry.

A thud on your fire escape made you nearly jump out of your own skin. Phone chucked and feet nearly betraying you, you were at the window by the time that Mikey had pushed up the window. “Babe I swear you’ve got to believe me when I tell you my phone literally melted and-“ He barely finished his sentence before you yanked him inside.

He was bruised up, a little bloodied and smelled of fire but without hesitation you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him as if life itself depended on it. In Mikey’s head he could hear the crescendo of the orchestra, a classic reunion scene in any movie. He wrapped his arms around your waist and returned the kiss with as much enthusiasm as his bruised self could. The firmness of your lips pressed against his, the harshness behind what your lips spoke clear and evident.

Mikey might’ve not been here if not for the powers that be. Your last kiss with him could’ve been from four nights ago, a chaste press of lips to say goodnight as he got you home safely.

But here he was flesh and bones and hard shell, very much breathing and alive.

You pulled back, eyes watering from lack of air and fear.

“Michelangelo I swear to anything that’s up there if you ever scare like that again I’m reviving you just so I can yell at you! Do you understand me?!” Mikey was more taken aback by the use of his complete name but he smiled and nodded.

There was no way he’d ever leave you, but those near death kisses really were rocking his world right now.

[zotlel]

The Exhibition (M)

pairing: jaebeom x you (ft. jinyoung)

genre: photographer!au, smut, romance, one-shot

synopsis: You are starved for inspiration as a photography student. When visiting the anonymous photographer “Defsoul’s” exhibit you meet a like-minded boy who gives you that spark. Only you didn’t expect the night to pan out exactly as it did.

word count: 7.8k

The wide city sidewalk was packed full of people anxious to get home and start their weekends. Their hurried steps accompanied by the warm street lights were quite a sight, you thought. With a quick flash of your camera, you are able to capture the scene as is, but you were already running late. You weave in and out through the bodies because unlike them you were not going home.

This was the third year of your photography program at the city’s most prestigious university. Despite how much you loved photography, you had been stuck in a creative rut recently that you just couldn’t seem to break free from. Therefore it had become a tradition of yours starting this new school year to attend some sort of photography exhibition on Friday nights. The size of the city that you were currently studying in allowed this to be a possibility due to the ever-growing art community it had.

Your steps continue at a quick pace, but you couldn’t help your eye from wandering at the scenes around you. So hungry for any sort of inspiration, from the streets dampened with a former rainstorm to the businessman making quick work to undo his burgundy tie that had been constricting his neck. Anything. You wished for just anything to strike you with a spark.

You had finally reached your destination where the new exhibition was being held. Alone. That was the title of the photographer’s first show. The photographer in question? Unknown. The photographer was going under the alias as “Defsoul.” It was quite a trendy thing these days to have no idea whose art you were looking at. You really could not wrap your head around as to why you would not want to put your name amongst the work you are proud of. Which was also a perfect example of why you probably struggled so much creatively.

The space the photographer chose had a rather grunge vibe, photographs were arranged on the tattered brick walls and all throughout the room. The air was thick around you as soft R&B beats flowed throughout the space. Stepping into the studio, you notice that you are one of the first patrons to arrive at the exhibition. While most guests came in pairs or groups you stood small in the expansive space in solitary, you preferred it that way. Small gatherings of people were scattered throughout the different rooms, all ranging from different ages, sexes, and ethnicities. You silently complemented the ambiguous photography for having the ability to reach so many demographics. The more you walked about the studio space, the more you understood everyone’s attraction to the enthralling photos.

Each photo was supposed to emit a different sentiment, or so that is what you have learned from your classes. The photos themselves vary from different subjects, older couples holding each other close, some were expansive European landscapes, and then also the occasional stray cat stretching in the afternoon sun. You tried your hardest to interpret the photos in your own words, trying to find the connection. Alone. That was the exhibition name. So why didn’t you feel that when walking amongst the various scenes?

To you, the different film that was taken emulated a mass collection of photos taken from someone’s personal collection. There was a sense of solace in each photo that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. It felt as if you were with the photographer in every photo, imagining the way they shot each scene. You had been walking around rather aimlessly through the gallery until you stopped upon one image in particular. 

The photograph was no more expressive than any other photo in the gallery, but you couldn’t help stopping and staring. The scene was the back of a man, his hair slightly long and disheveled, he looks out into an extensive lake surrounded by forestry, the light of a late midday sun which illuminated the photograph.  You cannot help your logical analysis of the image, and you find no flaws. The common idea surrounding photography is that it is a completely creative and artistic practice, while this isn’t false, it just so happened to also require certain formulas as well. It requires an eye for direction, proportions, and balance. This photo that fascinated you in the gallery had all of those elements.

The sound from the other patrons fades around you as you become enraptured in the photograph. It was only the scent of pure pine and spice that had you reeling back to the current moment. To the right side of you, a man stood, he wasn’t looking at you but instead he was, just as you were, staring into the alluring photo. You studied the man, he seemed to be around your age, taller than you, with dark hair that matched his sultry eyes. You admired the man’s bone structure, tall nose and cheekbones, he really was quite attractive. 

The way your gaze lingered on his face must have given him a sense of being watched. Because before you could hide your stare the handsome man was shifting his face towards you, looking straight into your eyes, a devilish smirk dances on his features. Heat rises to the apples of your cheeks as you turn to look at the picture again, pretending like you weren’t just caught checking him out.

“What do you think?”

You turn to face him, “Excuse me?”

“About the photo,” he smiles back at you. You cough slightly trying to hide your embarrassment. 

“Oh, um-” you start carefully, “it is actually my favorite one in this exhibit I think.” 

His face softens at your answer as he nods, looking back to the photo before he begins to speak again, “What’s so great about it?” 

You look at the photo one more time, really analyzing it.

“I’m not sure exactly,” you say honestly. “It was the only photo that really caught my eye. Don’t get me wrong I thought all these photos were great, but this one helped me visualize what the photographer must have been witness to through his photos.”

He looks back at you with a surprised expression. 

“That’s a really interesting take on the photo, I thought you just thought the man in it was attractive.”

You laugh slightly, “You can’t see much of looks from a person’s back.”

This has the man doubling over in laughter, much to your surprise. You look around the room to see if any of the other patrons are staring at the man, you couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed at the attention. Then you looked back at the man and his blinding smile and you cannot help but return the same emotion. And for the first time, in a long time, you began to feel captivated with this man.

His laughter seizes yet his smile remains as he turns his body to face you, “I am Jaebeom by the way.” 

He says while extending his hand out to you. You are now able to see his entire face as you grip his hand in a greeting. To your surprise, he had a silver nose ring on his right side, along with multiple piercings all up and down his ears. It was your first time feeling such an attraction to a man’s jewelry. You blink rapidly realizing you had just been grasping his hand in silence for some time, but he didn’t seem to mind. You tell him your name before dropping your connected hands, he repeats it softly as if he was saying it for only him to hear.

“Did you come by yourself tonight?” He asks.

“Is that some form of a pick-up line?” You reply back snarkily which has the man chuckling at your playful banter.

“It’s only a pickup line if it works,” he states causing your head to nod in agreement.

“Well then yes, I am alone if you must know.”

“Fascinating. I would have definitely assumed you to just be here on a date, not actually here for the art,” he says.

You scoff, “How pretentious of you to assume such a thing,” you say. 

“I’m a photography student if you couldn’t guess, so I am most definitely here for the art.”

“I meant no offense,” he holds his ringer clad hands up in a form of surrender. “It was just a simple observation due to the other people here tonight.”

He wasn’t wrong about that, you thought. The gallery was littered with different couples strolling throughout the space. Love could easily be seen in the air the minute you walked in. Not that you minded, of course. If you had allowed yourself to date you would also think to come to an art gallery like this, spending time with someone you were attracted to amongst gorgeous imagery, it was quite romantic. 

“This does seem to be a hot-spot for couples tonight,” you note back to him.

“So, what would you say if I asked you to come out for a drink with me tonight instead of staying here?” He asks you.

“What, are the lovebirds kind of cramping your style?” You laugh back at his sudden suggestion.

He laughs at this before continuing, “Not necessarily. I’m just interested in you, I thought maybe a good way of getting to know more about the beautiful girl from the gallery would be over a couple of drinks.”

You smile shyly looking away from him, “I don’t know, I was kind of curious to see if this secret photographer would show themselves by the end of the night.”

“Trust me, he’s not one for introductions.”

He? You thought to yourself, how could Jaebeom know the gender of the photographer? Perhaps he had been coming to Defsoul’s exhibitions enough to have eventually met the elusive photographer. 

Perhaps you should take Jaebeom up on his offer. Hell, you couldn’t even remember the last time you had been out for a drink. Especially with a man as good-looking as Jaebeom. Maybe you could finally allow yourself to let loose, just this once.

“Well, in that case, you lead the way,” he smiles at your response. Jaebeom raises his hand inviting you to take hold. You do so while smiling, excited for what the night shall bring.

Jaebeom grips your hand tightly as you two make your way throughout the lamp-lit city streets. Your heart is beating wildly every time he would look back to check if you were still there, grinning when he is met with your presence. The two of you walk hand-in-hand as he tells you he is taking you to one of his favorite lounges in the city, you can’t help your excitement.

You two finally arrive at the bar, the exterior of the building is ornate in nature with vintage signage and lights decorating the brick walls. Jaebeom drops his grasp on your hand to open the large wooden door allowing you to step inside first, what a gentleman you thought. Inside the lounge the cigar smoke twisted in an elegant way, forming curls in the dim light. The room was illuminated solely by the age-speckled bar lights. Jaebeom finds an empty booth towards the back for you two to sit. A smartly dressed waiter comes around to grab drink orders and skirts away hurriedly after. You sit back a bit in your seat trying to calm your nerves by looking around the room. 

You wouldn’t exactly describe yourself as an introverted person, but this definitely was a new experience for you. Coming out with a man you barely knew, to a part of town you were unfamiliar with, just for drinks. It was all so different for you, but there was something about Jaebeom that made you feel a certain sense of security. It was usually pretty easy for you to tell when a guy was a complete sleaze-bag and Jaebeom definitely did not give off that impression. Still, you couldn’t help but feel slightly shy to be with such a handsome man.

“I’m so curious to hear what you are thinking,” Jaebeom speaks up from the other end of the table. 

You turn to look at him and notice his chin perched on his hand as he stares dreamily at you with his deep-set eyes. You go red as you realize he must have been studying you this entire time.

“I was just thinking about how all of this is a very new experience for me,” you respond back.

“What exactly?”

“Just this,” you emphasize your words by swinging your finger in the space between the two of you. 

“I’ve never said yes to drinks with a man I had met less than an hour before.”

“You don’t say,” he chuckles. “I would imagine a girl as beautiful as you would have plenty of suitors waiting to take you out for a simple cocktail.”

You laugh at this. It’s not that men have not tried taking you out in the past, they most certainly did. You were just in a place with your life that didn’t allow you the capacity for any man. It wasn’t as bad as it sounded, really. You knew that at this point in your life the things that were the most important to you were school and finding your place in the competitive field of photography. No man could ever distract you from this dream of yours.

“Even so,” you begin. “I don’t really have the time for any sort of man in my life right now.”

“So then why did you agree to come out with me?” Jaebeom asks you.

That was a good question, why did you say yes? Despite the fact that Jaebeom had been one of the most attractive men to ever approach you, you wondered what it was about him that pulled your attention so strongly.

“I’m not sure why exactly it’s kind of hard to explain,” you say. “I just feel comfortable in your presence.”

This was something new to hear for Jaebeom. Mysterious, chic, sexy. These were all things Jaebeom was used to hearing from women, but “comfortable” was new. Little did you know, you were also a new experience entirely for him. The other women Jaebeom had encountered in his life felt like nothing more than a shallow quest for lust or domination with him. But you, he wanted to know so much more about the girl sitting across from him. Your dreams, inhibitions, fears. He could listen to you ramble on all night.

“I feel the same way,” he replies back coolly, to which you beam back a tender smile.

The rest of the night with Jaebeom is filled with giddy conversation between the two of you, both anxious to learn more about the other. You share with him things that some of your closest friends did not even know about you, but that was the power he held. He somehow was able to fluster you like a shy schoolgirl and yet hold your hand so sincerely that it felt as if you had known him for years. Drinks and conversation flowed throughout the few hours you spent with him at the lounge, effectively easing all your anxiety.

Once the two of you got onto the topic of photography there was no stopping the excitement. You could see in his eyes he loved it just as much as you, but ultimately he feared he was not good enough to be professional. You related closely to this worry, also sharing the hardships you faced with the creative aspect of it all. The way Jaebeom was able to relate so deeply to you on this issue made him all the more attractive to you, but that could also be the drinks talking.

“Of course you also make music,” you laugh at the man across from you at his recent confession.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He gawks back at you.

“Nothing offensive really,” you begin. 

“It just fits your whole image you know. The gorgeous man I met at the exhibit is also incredibly deep and creative,” you joke with him.

He smiles and nods his head understanding that to most people he appears that way. Not that he minded, of course, he just wished sometimes he wasn’t so easy to read. 

“Gorgeous, huh?”

He completely ignores your other statements to instead put you on the spot, but to his surprise, you don’t seem the least bit bashful. Instead, you take a long sip from your drink before setting it down with a soft thud. Looking him in the eye as if to say, “Did I stutter?” Jaebeom smirks and breaks his eye contact, absentmindedly twirling the small cocktail straw in his almost empty glass. 

“I want to hear your music,” you say breaking him from his trance. 

He looks up to see you leaning in on the table excitedly, a small flame of mischief burning behind your eyes. 

He leans in towards you, “Really?” 

You nod.

“Well then, let’s get out of here.”

You knew just as well as anyone what it meant to go back to his place and listen to his music, but that was exactly what you wanted. Jaebeom hails over the waiter closing up your tab before you both exit the bar to the crisp Autumn night air. As if on cue, a taxi pulls in front of where the two of you stood, allowing a handsome young couple to exit its backseat. Jaebeom takes the opportunity, seizing the door open for you to step into the now emptied seats of the taxi. He joins in after you quickly telling the older man who was driving the taxi his address.

The ride began innocently enough. Silent, as you two sat next to one another, too nervous to make eye contact. Because you knew as soon as you looked, things would take a drastic turn, but you were always too curious for your own good. You turn your head slightly to catch Jaebeom looking at you, not in your eyes, but everywhere else. From the way that your legs were crossed to your innocently folded hands in your lap, the curves of your body, the long expanse of your neck, until finally, into your lust-filled eyes. That was all it took.

Jaebeom was the first to snap, instantly latching his hand onto the back of your neck in order to bring your lips onto his. You more than happily obliged bringing your own hands to rest on his taut shoulders, molding your lips unto his. The connection was everything you imagined. Hot, rushed, and oh so gratifying. You could taste the deep bitters of his drink as his tongue danced across your lip, your own tongue eager to meet his. He groaned into your mouth once he felt the connection which in turn had you draping a leg across his lap attempting for your bodies to be closer. You felt somewhat sorry for the cab driver, but you mostly didn’t care.

Jaebeom grips your leg that is draped over him feeling the soft flesh beneath your tight jeans. God, he only imagined what you looked like completely exposed to him. The thought had to wait as the two of you could feel the car come to an abrupt stop, followed by an awkward cough from the front seat. You both break free and stare into each other’s dark gazes, unable to shake the overwhelming amount of lust. It took a second clearing of the cab driver’s throat to snap the trance and leave his car. Jaebeom handed the man the cab fare, being sure to tip him generously, before exiting the car and extending a hand out to you. You take it graciously after saying a quick “thank you” to the driver. 

Once outside the cab, the pace of the evening leveled out. Jaebeom, now calm and collected, takes your hand in his, smiling at you briefly before guiding you to a rather expensive-looking building. It was late at night when you two arrived, yet upon entering the bright lobby you notice a rather well-dressed attendant sitting modestly behind a large desk. She looks up from her desk to see who had entered. Upon gazing at Jaebeom she stands and bows her head silently in a form of saying “Welcome.” Jaebeom smiles politely at her while still having you in tow towards the titanium elevator doors. They open upon his touch of the button allowing you both to step inside.

The feeling of being next to Jaebeom in the elevator versus the taxi was entirely different. While the backseat of the taxi was filled with nothing but lust for one another, the elevator was quiet. Utter silence from you both as you anxiously spare looks to one another. Whenever one of you caught the other’s eye it would be hard to hide your bashful smiles. Your stomach was doing flips in expectancy of what was to come. The doors part, you had arrived. 

Jaebeom enters his apartment with relative ease, despite his nerves making it difficult to punch in his door code. Once the two of you were inside is when he finally began to speak, “Can I offer you anything to drink? Wine? Water?”

“Wine sounds lovely, thank you,” you respond back. 

He smiles, “Wine it is. Please make yourself at home while I go get us some glasses.”

Then he is off, leaving you to wander about his apartment curiously. It was relatively a clean place, or rather there just wasn’t much furniture in general. Simplistic and chic. You couldn’t think of a more fitting apartment for Jaebeom. You walk about the space coming unto what seemed to be a living room with a single black leather loveseat and a computer desk against the opposite wall. You make your way over to the couch sitting down gently. 

Not long after, Jaebeom appears from the doorway holding two glasses of a deep red wine. He chuckles nervously extending one glass to you. Jesus, he was so endearing. You take the glass with a small smile and thank him, bringing the bitter liquid to your lips. 

“Did you still want me to play you some of my work?” Jaebeom asks nervously, still standing above you. 

You had almost completely forgotten that was the whole reason you wanted to come. You were too enraptured by the beautiful man’s aura. 

“Yes please, play me something,” you say excitedly. 

He takes a sip of his wine and smiles before turning his back and walking towards the computer. He types away for about a minute before a soft melody can be heard throughout the room. You look to see speakers installed all around your head creating a hypnotic atmosphere. You close your eyes and sway, finding yourself getting lost in the beats and pretty vocals of his song. It isn’t until you feel a dip in the seat next to you that you open your eyes to see the expectant face of Jaebeom at your side.

“You really made this?”

“Yeah, that’s my voice if you can’t tell,” he replies nervously bringing a hand to rub at the back of his neck.

“I don’t know as much about music as I do photography, but this is really good,” you say to him which has him chuckling and shaking his head. “No, really I mean it.”

He looks up at you to see that you were in fact being genuine. He felt more proud then than at any other moment he could remember. Jaebeom sets his wine glass down on the coffee table next to yours before turning his full attention towards you, tucking a soft hair behind one of your ears. 

“You’re really something, did you know that?” He asks you, with a voice just barely above a whisper.

Your heart pounded loudly in your chest at the sudden close proximity, but God did you love this man’s presence. You leaned slightly into his hand that was still hovering near the side of your face, allowing him to cup your cheek affectionately. 

“That’s funny,” you say. “I was thinking the same thing about you.”

He’s smiling at you now, staring deeply into your shining eyes. The self-control he had completely left him at that point. He leans into you slowly, allowing you time to register what was about to happen. You close the gap, kissing him softly. He sighs into the kiss, languidly moving his lips against yours while at the same time grabbing your hips to move your body closer. You reciprocate and bring it a step further, throwing one leg over his lap to straddle his thighs, never once breaking apart your lips.

He takes a shaky breath the minute your body softly grinds onto his. God, he was intoxicating. You were so eager to elicit more responses from him, to watch him come undone, so you snake your hands into his long hair, earning an appreciative moan. You can’t help but whine at the sound, wanting nothing more than to feel his body pressed against yours. 

Jaebeom seems to know your thoughts exactly because in one moment he is sweeping you up off of the couch, legs still fastened tightly around him, making his way towards what you can only assume to be his bedroom. He would stop occasionally to press you against a nearby wall, breaking from your lips he would decorate your neck in soft kisses. The scent of his musky cologne exhilarating your thoughts. Finally, he reaches his bedroom, dropping you down to your feet softly with a thud. 

“I want you,” he breaths out onto your abused lips.

“Then you can have me,” you whisper. “All of me.”

He groans at your response as it seems they were the exact words he wished to hear. Swiftly Jaebeom grabs at your top peeling it off over your head leaving you clad in a simple black bra. If you had known you would be seen naked tonight you would have opted for something a little sexier, but Jaebeom doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, his head instantly drops to your cleavage, pushing your breasts eagerly up into his face as he begins to kiss and suck at your skin surely leaving marks for you to remember him by. You breathe out at the sensual feeling, greedy to feel his skin against your own.

You reach below him to tug at his black t-shirt hinting at how much you wanted it off of his body. He understands, breaking away from your chest to pull his shirt over his head. His chest is broad and milky, illuminated from the streetlights outside his bedroom window. You can’t help yourself, bringing a hand to rest against the middle of his chest. You felt him, all of him. The warmth, the sweat, the anticipation, all of it rested just below your fingertips. Slowly you drag your hand lower, noting the shiver that ran through Jaebeom’s body at your soft caresses. You reach his belt, playing with it you look up at him through your lashes, batting them innocently.

“Fuck-” he says. “If you keep looking at me that way, I don’t think I can control myself.”

“Perfect,” you say, pulling him closer by his belt loop. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

You have no idea where this sense of confidence has come from. Normally during sex, you tend not to be much of a talker, letting the man do as he pleases. Tonight felt different from all those nights before. Jaebeom made you a different person, someone who felt bold enough to take control. You liked this person he created, and he seemed to be just as pleased.

He smirks at you, enjoying your teasing nature, he pulls you flush against his skin. He holds your eye contact for a moment before firmly turning your body so that your back meets his chest. You gasp as you feel him move your hair to the side, decorating lustful kisses along your shoulder and neck. His hands find purchase on your hips, greedily massaging them while also forcing your ass to grind onto his already stiff cock straining against his jeans. You moan at the feeling, taking pride in the effect you had on him.

“Do you like that, baby?” He asks you. “The feeling of my hard cock against you?”

The man could talk dirty, you thought, could he be any more attractive?

You don’t reply with words. Instead, you grind your backside harder against him, causing a hiss to fall from his lips. You lull your head back dreamily, getting lost in the feeling of your bodies moving together, both of you ravenous for any sort of friction. While his hands stayed firmly on your hips you took this opportunity to grab at one of his hands, bringing it upward to your chest, encouraging Jaebeom to massage your breasts. He happily obliges, feeling up your warm body with his rough hands, your scent invigorating his mind.

“I want you to strip for me, then go lay on the bed,” Jaebeom softly commands in your ear, effectively snapping you out of your daze.

There was something about his assertive tone that sent heat straight to your core, you were so eager to feel him there. He takes a step away from your body allowing you space to remove your clothes, and you do so. You look over your shoulder at him to see his bottom lip caught between his teeth, anticipating your show. You reach down for the button of your jeans undoing it in a slow and sultry way until you are able to strip the fabric down your legs. 

Jaebeom intently watches your scantily clad figure which in turn gave you the confidence to continue. You put on a bit of a show with your movements, matching your swaying hips to his music that could still be heard inside the bedroom. Once you step your feet out of your jeans you turn your body so it is facing his. There is still a bit of space between your bodies, but the tension is extreme. You reach behind your back to unclasp your bra, taking one strap between your fingers as you allow the bra to drop. 

Upon seeing your bare chest a fire ignites behind Jaebeom’s eyes. You smirk, with still swaying hips, you hook two fingers into your panties. Turning once more to give him a view of your backside, you dance your way out of the soft material, letting it gather around your feet. Finally, now completely bare, you make your way to his large king bed adorned with fresh white sheets. Crawling on all fours up the bed, making sure to arch your back for the best view, you flip your body onto the bed awaiting his arrival.

Jaebeom drinks this all in. The music, fragrances, lights, visuals, and the ambiance of seeing your bare body lay upon his white sheets, decorated purely by the moonlight. Without waiting for a second longer he rids himself of the last of his clothing, pushing his jeans and boxers down with haste. He walks to the foot of the bed, softly caressing your calves as he climbs up the expanse of your body. Your eyes meet his hazily, running your gentle hands along his forearms until his forehead is resting softly against yours.

“Can I taste you?”

Your mind is in a haze at his request, but who were you to say no?

Your head nods at his request and he smiles. Kissing your lips passionately before dragging them lower and lower down your body. Occasionally Jaebeom would nip and suck on parts of your skin, causing your body to tremor. Until finally you began to feel his heated breaths over your core. You gripped the sheets expectantly, unconsciously tensing your body in anticipation. He gives each of your thighs one last kiss before licking a strong tongue through your core.

You moan instantly, surprised by how sensitive you were from just one touch. Jaebeom doesn’t stop, he grabs hold of your thighs effectively throwing them over his broad shoulders. At first, his licks are long and languid, causing your hips to fall in motion with his tongue. Once he begins to feel your thighs tense at the sensations he picks up his pace, switching from licking up your core to occasionally wrapping his lips around your clit. 

You feel electric waves throughout your body at his movements. At one particular suck, you moan out into the night, threading a hand through Jaebeom’s hair, which in turn has him groaning into you. He too was lost in the pleasure he was giving you. From your scent to your heavenly moans he couldn’t stop himself from grinding down against his mattress eager for some relief on his achingly hard cock.

“Jaebeom please, I need to feel you inside of me, please,” you manage to moan out wanting nothing more than for your bodies to become one.

Although Jaebeom wanted so badly to see your body come undone from his tongue alone, he too was starting to get impatient. One last suck to your clit before he is climbing back up your body, greedily you reach for him and connect your lips. He moans at your soft sucks against his tongue, desperate for you to taste your own arousal. 

Shockingly, you are able to flip your bodies over allowing you to climb on top of Jaebeom’s beautiful body. You break away from the kiss to sit up and see him. There he was in all his glory. The stoic man from the gallery naked and heaving beneath you, so eager to be inside of you. You smile sweetly at him and he groans, taking his painfully hard cock into your hand you stroke him tenderly, to which he throws his head back in excitement. Without waiting a second longer you align him with your dripping core, slowing sinking him deep inside of you.

You release an intense sigh that you didn’t know you were holding. Jaebeom moans at the warm feeling of your pussy wrapped tightly around him, he then looks to see where your bodies meet. As if on cue you begin to sway your hips back in forth, still in rhythm with the music coming from the living room. The pace is slow and sensual, just as you like. 

Jaebeom felt as if he could feel every little movement. From the way your beautiful hips swayed to your hands pressed firmly on his chest, he savored every second. His hands come to rest against your hips once again, encouraging your movements. Moans spill from your mouth as you get lost in the feeling of him buried so deep inside of you.

“Oh god,” you cry out.

Jaebeom is blissed out in the feeling, allowing you full control; he loses himself in the moment, suddenly becoming acutely aware of the song. You too let your body take over and allow your mind to float above the two of you making love. You can hear the melody too.

난 네게 눈이 멀었고

(I became blinded by you)

넌 내게 눈이 멀었겄지

(You probably became blinded by me)

우리 서로만을 보았고

(We only saw each other)

이 세상에 둘만 있었겠지

(We probably were the only ones in the world)

Jaebeom begins to lose his patience as he can feel his end nearing. You yelp with surprise as his strong arms wrap against your frame, flipping you onto your back. You squeeze around him from his dominant change in nature, he groans at the feeling.

“I want to feel you come all around me, baby,” he tells you. 

You nod back ready for him to ravish your body. He hooks one of your legs over his shoulder giving him the best angle for you both. The pace from before is completely different. While you took your time with Jaebeom while you rode him, when he was on top he fucked you, hard.

Sheathing himself back inside of you so hard and fast you both scream out in pleasure. He wastes no time fucking you raw, trying to chase the high you both so desperately longed for. His movements are fast yet calculated, effectively hitting your sweet spot every time he entered you. You were desperate to hold on to reality gripping the sheets above your head as you moaned loudly. Jaebeom saw this action and instead moved your hands to his hair.

“I want you to show me how good I’m making you feel,” he says to you in his gruff voice.

You understand his wish, grabbing his hair just as tightly as he fucked you, earning an appreciative groan from him spurring on his movements further. 

You felt your end coming. It was like a small fire that suddenly began to blister in the pit of your stomach. Your chest heaved for air as you gripped his hair even tighter, warning him. He understood.

“Come on, baby, I need to feel you come, please,” his words did just the trick.

The fire turned into an explosion as the white-hot orgasm swept through your body. You trembled in his hold as he thoroughly fucked you through your high. Once you came down you noticed his brows furrowed and his movements began to waver. You released his hair to hold him close to your body, encouraging him to let go.

He eventually reaches his own high as he drops his head to your shoulder, you hold him close as he moans out deliciously into your ear. His movements stutter as he tiredly milks his orgasm to completion. He slumps his body against yours, slick with sweat the two of you stay connected for some time attempting to calm your breaths. 

Tiredly you stroke your hand softly up and down his back lullingly. You begin to feel the effect of all the alcohol in your system as you fought to keep your eyes open. Too at peace with where you were, you allowed yourself to become a victim of slumber while caressing Jaebeom’s naked frame. 

When morning broke, you expected to be woken by the bright sunshine pouring into his room. Instead, the thing that woke you from your slumber was the distinct click of what you only know to be the sound of a film camera. Still naked in his sheets you turn your body over to see an equally naked Jaebeom perched at the foot of the bed with a small camera plastered to his face. The morning sun decorated his frame in the most beautiful way, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

He lowers the camera slowly from his face, gauging your reaction, “Sorry I just thought you looked so perfect lying there. Does it bother you?”

You shake your head no. He smiles and climbs up his bed to be with you again in the early morning light. He lays at your side and you turn your full body to him, he tucks a stray hair behind your ear. You both stay there for what felt like an eternity. Mindlessly you both would let your fingers dance along the other’s naked form, basking in the soft flesh below. The silence was infectious, filling your soul with content. You never wanted this feeling to end.

──

“Can I just say what an honor it is to be accompanying you on this gorgeous Friday night,” Jinyoung smiles at you. “The forsaken Friday nights that you would normally spend in solitude, per your own request, but I am the first one to break that tradition. Really it is a privilege.”

You laugh at Jinyoung’s over-the-top monologue. Jinyoung wasn’t wrong, he was the first person you had ever asked to accompany you on this Friday night. Your friends all knew the deal, Friday nights were for your alone time, for your creativity to rekindle. 

“You are just too handsome to say no to,” you reply back sweetly, reaching up to Jinyoung planting a swift kiss on his cheek. His eyes crinkle in the most adorable fashion. 

As much as you had grown and changed in the past couple of months, Jinyoung was always a constant in your life. Before you used to be so caught up in your art and finding inspiration that you never gave the cute boy from your English class the time of day. Often times Jinyoung would ask you out for the occasional coffee or study date to which you would always find an excuse not to go. It surprised you that even after all his failed attempts he even still wanted to take you out, so ultimately you agreed. You could say that perhaps you had a change of heart. Something eventually opened your eyes to his affection for you.

After walking some time the two of you finally make it to the exhibit. The words “Awake.” displayed in white neon outside the entrance. Looking to Jinyoung and smiling you both make your way through the large entryway. Subtly you feel him slide his fingers through your own, and your body heats at the affection. 

It had been quite some time since Defsoul had held any sort of photography exhibition. In fact, the last one being just over six months ago. Although the photographer was still active through social media you were surprised as to why it had taken them so long to put on another show. You remembered just how much you fell in love with their work last time that you were eager to see what else they had in store.

As the two of you walk hand-in-hand throughout the gallery you instantly notice the ambiance of this show to be vastly different from the one you had attended months before. The air was lighter, the photographs themselves felt brighter than before, and even the conversations between the patrons were airier. Jinyoung would occasionally point to certain photos attempting his best at discussing the art of photography in order to impress you. You would smile at his attempts, bringing his body closer to yours the more you strolled throughout the space.

Your mind couldn’t help but wander to the night you shared with Jaebeom just months before where you met him at one of these exhibits. It had been so long since you had even thought of him or his name that you had almost forgotten. Though the feelings you felt never disappeared. 

You catch yourself smiling at the memory before looking up at one of the larger displays in the studio. You stopped dead in your tracks upon looking, your breath caught in your throat as you just stared. It was you, not your face, your naked backside peeking perfectly out of his crisp white sheets, the morning sun playing through your soft hair beautifully. There you were on full display for the whole world to see. 

The world around you faded as you sat and stared, Jinyoung taking notice finally to what you had been looking at, “That is gorgeous, I think this might be my favorite one so far.”

You can’t hear him as your mind was reeling a mile a minute. It was then in that moment you came to realize everything. His sheets, his bed, his room, his photograph. This was his show, Jaebeom was Defsoul. How could you have not seen it before?

You looked about the room frantically, fear striking you as you noticed the other patron’s eyes glued to the huge mural of you, Jinyoung too being entranced with the photo. Anxiety bubbled over into your stomach. That was until you saw it, the title: Muse.

You didn’t know why exactly upon reading the simple word that tears began to pool in your eyes. Again you looked around the room. You needed to see him, to confirm your thoughts. You needed to know who Jaebeom really was. Then suddenly there he stood, perfect as ever.

Jaebeom stood meters away from you and Jinyoung, the bodies of the other patrons crossed your paths as the two of you just stared at each other. He looked just as stunning as that night, that one fateful night. His gaze is soft on yours as if to ask if you were okay. You cannot answer him, still in too much shock. 

Until Jaebeom looks to Jinyoung, your connected hands, and then finally you, he smiles warmly. Little did you know that this is exactly what Jaebeom wanted to see for you. Your happiness above all else. To others, what the two of you shared could easily be written off as just some other one night stand, but he knew it was so much more. He cared for you in ways he never thought he would be able to feel for another person. And so he was happy, if he couldn’t be the one holding your hand in this gallery, he was glad you had someone to take his place. You deserved as much.

A tear finally escapes your eye as you continue to gaze at Jaebeom’s sincere expression, laughing slightly you brush the tear away. You felt no anger, no embarrassment. Because what Jaebeom said was right, for that night you spent together, he too was your own muse. The spark you needed at that moment. You needed him then just as much as he did. 

Without leaving his eyes, you bow your head slightly, doing something you realized you never did that night. You thanked him. He raised a wine glass in recognition. Then he was gone, swallowed into the sea of people who would never know his true identity. 

“I didn’t know photography moved you that much,” Jinyoung says to you while wiping your tears away, a look of concern etched into his features.

You laugh, dropping your head bashfully before raising your eyes again to look at Jinyoung. You were so content with the way you began to live your life since meeting Jaebeom. For so long you had deprived yourself of the one thing that should have mattered the most, your happiness.

It was fate for you and Jaebeom to meet each other that night, but you knew it was only meant for that one night. Jaebeom was the trigger for you to stop living inside the constrictive box you created for yourself. You felt inspiration more than ever through your art, which in turn greatly improved your abilities. You also finally allowed yourself love, and to share that love with someone who genuinely wanted you. 

Now with Jinyoung, you had never felt more at peace in not only yourself but your life. Rising to his height you capture Jinyoung’s lips with yours. He smiles against you and reciprocates your affection. This is who you were meant to be with tonight, and for every night thereafter.

[deadspace-babe]

Scruba dub dub angst in the tub

This is a little Julian X Reader mutual comfort fic during the bath scene. 

i made this while i was in the middle of his route but its still one of my favorites!

I hope you enjoy!!!

 I don’t think I actually realized how exhausted I really was until I walked into Nadia’s bathroom and felt the heat soak into me. I’ll have to thank Nadia again later, I really really need this. I feel so overwhelmed and tense and I haven’t slept in so long. God when was the last time I- 

“Hey are you alright y/n?” Julian asks me concerned, pulling me out of my thoughts. 

“Oh ya I’m alright, I think my exhaustion is just catching up with me that’s all.” I reply rubbing the back of my head embarrassed. 

“Oh then why don’t I help you relax a little?” He whispers curling his long fingers around my chin to pull my face up to his for a quick soft kiss. I simply nod up to him smiling lightly. With my approval he starts undoing my many layers of masquerade attire and I reach up to undo his also. Before he finishes he offers me a thin bathrobe then turns, his face becoming a little red, 

“I figured you’d want to take those off yourself” he says gesturing to my undergarments. I just whisper a little thank you and proceed with the rest of my clothes with my back to him and he does the same. As I finish tying off the bathrobe I hear his feet pad over to the very large bath tub. I watch curiously as he tests the water and climbs in. When he sinks in I can see the thick muscles in his back slowly release, I hadn’t realized he was so stiff before. He once again brings me out of my train of thought with and excited gasp,

“Y/n! Nadia has actual Nevivon bath salts and they’re fresh! Ahhh really brings me back, I would love to bring you someday!” He says happily mixing salts and oils into the bath. I giggle at him and walk up to the bath crossing my arms over the rim. 

“I would love to go with you Ilya, it sounds like a blast.” I say smiling at him lazily as I rest my head on my arms. He moves across the tub to me a runs a damp hand through my hair. 

“Will you join me?” He asks hopefully. I nod and climb in taking a place across from him. I try to let the warmth embrace me but the bath is so incredibly big and deep that I have trouble keeping my body from floating upward. I keep struggling and slipping, my lower half desperately trying to come to the surface. I realized that through my struggle Julian is just sitting there snickering at me. I give him a death glare and splash at him which just makes him break out into full blown howls with his head thrown back over the rim of the tub. I try to be serious so I throw my nose up and cross my arms and legs but I just slip again bringing him to tears this time cause he’s laughing so damn hard. At this point I can’t help but giggle a little with him. Everything about that man is just so contagious. Finally his laughter slows and he offers me his hand while wiping his tears. 

“Come on darling I’ll keep you steady, I promise” he says. I take his hand nervously cause like we’re practically naked but I decide to be brave and follow his lead for once. He pulls me onto his lap, his legs are crossed and my knees fall at either side of his waist. He wraps his arms around me to stabilize me and rests his head in the crook of my neck. 

“How’s this?” He asks sounding just as tense as I feel. 

“It’s perfect” I respond despite my nerves and lay down completely against his chest. I can feel him let out a sigh of relief as he starts rubbing little circles into my lower back and between my shoulder blades. 

“I’m glad” he sighs. “You’ve been working so hard without rest throughout all of this I bet your whooped emotionally and physically.” I respond only by tucking my head further into to his shoulder and bring my arms up to squeeze around his neck. Neither of us speak for a few minutes, he just continues rubbing as I listen to his breathing and focus on the steady beat of his heart against my chest while I busy my hands with the soft damp curls at his nape, slowly turning them between my fingers. The longer I listen to his heart beat the faster mine goes. Before I know it my eyes start to sting as a feeling I was pushing back creeps into my mind and I finally break startling Julian with the sudden spill of tears. 

“Hey hey are you alright? Did I do something?! What’s wrong y/n?” He says as he tries to pull me off of him but I don’t let go of his neck. Before I let any words out I lay a shaky kiss on the column of his neck. 

“I’m sorry Ilya I couldn’t keep it in anymore” I finally let out jaggedly into his throat as I start hiccuping into the sobs. He finally manages his way out of my grip but my hands fly to my face before he could catch them. I don’t want him to feel guilty for how I feel. He shouldn’t have to deal with my feelings on top of his own. 

“Hey hey don’t apologize darling you’re fine just tell me what’s wrong, please” he says, the concern in his voice raising after each word. I simply shake my head at him and throw it back into his chest. He sighs and rubs the back of my head trying to soothe me. 

“Please I can’t help you if you don’t tell me” he begs. He sounds so scared. I don’t want him to worry but at the same time I’ve made him worry by not telling him. Wow good job y/n, real slick. I guess he has the right to know doesn’t he. I mean he is my.. my… the…. 

I finally raise my head and try to look at him from between my fingers. “I was just so scared, and I- I thought- and what if- I don’t know what I would do if- and I don’t even know what we-“ i stutter out between hiccups. 

“Hey, shhhhhh it’s ok. Take your time and just breath.” He says gently while resting my hand on his chest then wiping my tears with his thumb. I close my eyes and focus on matching my breathing to his while ignoring the hiccups choking me. Once I finally calm down he takes my face in both of his hands and lays a long kiss on my forehead. I wrap my hands over his on my cheeks and just take in the moment while I gather my thoughts. 

“You ready now dear?” He asks quietly. I shake my head a little and take a deep breath. It’s hard but I make eye contact. 

“I’m scared Julian. What if we fail and people die? What if you die? You scare me Julian.” I say as steady as I can while his face drops. I knew it would. I squeeze his hands harder as he tries to pull them away from my face. “I knew that you’d be ok but watching you be hung tore me apart.” I say feeling the tears start to sting my eyes again. “I knew you’d pop out of your coffin cracking jokes and act like everything is ok but when I saw your body fall it felt like I died… again” I squeeze his hands again. “I know you did it for good cause but you went rushing in without me and I was so worried and confused. Julian why are you like this? Why are you so willing to die alone for everything?”

“Because if I couldn’t save it the first time maybe I can this time. Maybe I can save everyone, maybe I can save you this time. ” he says quietly dragging his thumbs across my cheeks.

“Why would you think it’s ok to die for me? You deserve life, don’t you know that?!” the tears finally fall. He looks hurt. I can see his eyes becoming glassy with tears. He sighs deeply avoiding eye contact and says,

“Because you are my everything. It was my fault you died and I don’t want to stand by and let you die again. I can’t handle that. ” 

“Ilya please. You were busy trying to find the cure and making people as comfortable as they possible could be. It’s not your fault, I didn’t really tell you. It’s not your fault I caught it. I was a doctor too, it was bound to happen. Hell YOU GOT IT!” I yell gesturing to his eye as he still looks at me with a pitiful face.  “Ilya If I’m your everything then please stay here with me. Your everything needs you.. because you’re my everything too.” I say through tears and finally drop my face roughly into his chest. He doesn’t move for a few seconds which worries me then I hear him sniffle and I look up, he’s crying too. 

“I-I-I’m s-s-sorry y/n.” His face shrinks on itself “I feel like I have to. You’re working s-so hard and being so brave and- and I feel like I’m not doing as much as I could. You s-see, me being here h-hurts you… I hurt you. If I wasn’t here you wouldn’t hurt. If I wasn-“

“WHAM”

I slapped him right across his face my tears streaming faster but this time angry and frustrated tears burn my skin. 

“YOU IDIOT!” I yell. “ILYA YOU FOOL I NEED YOU HERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU” 

Both of our faces drop then flare bright red. 

I try to push myself off of his lap out of embarrassment but he just snatches me back. 

“No please don’t go… I- I love you too. Although I thought it was obvious already. ” he says rubbing the back of his head trying to avoid my eyes. “I’m sorry you fell in love with a fool like me. I’m not even sure how someone as amazing as yourself could” 

“Julian shut up.” I say pressing a light kiss to his cheek. “I know you’re trying to protect me in your own way but you need to realize that you are deserving of love. You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met and without you we wouldn’t be making any progress in this mess in the first place. You make every situation feel lighter with poorly timed but still hilarious jokes. You make my heart beat as fast a hummingbird's wings and my stomach tie itself in knots everytime I see you, nevermind what happens when you touch me. You make me feel ways I’ve never felt with anything else. I’m so obsessed and in love with you my skin tingles just thinking about being with you.” 

“Y/n” Julian says the tears coming back to his eyes as he squeezed my hands. 

“Julian it hurts me so much to see you sacrifice yourself so easily because you think you don’t deserve life or love. Do you realize how many people you have saved and helped. More than half of that stadium was on your side cheering for your innocents and crying for you. You’ve given Vesuvia hope and you’ve given me a new life better than I ever could have ever imagined having and I’m so grateful. How can someone make so many people so happy and not think they’re worth more than a grain of sand.” I say getting emotional again. 

“I guess I just feel like everyone is my responsibility. It’s all I’ve ever really known, running into danger with no concern for my safety. I guess the safety of others was always just more important to me than my own. And these past few years I was able to heal myself so that made me even more reckless, But if I mean that much to you I’ll try to see my worth. If someone as wonderful as you can see worth in someone like me then I might have something going for me after all. I’m sorry. I'll try to be better. Thank you for being with me and thank you for loving me. You’re the strongest bravest person I know and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He says giving me a half hearted wink feeling a little squeamish from the scolding and praise. 

“Thank you Ilya. Remember you’re never alone. I promise. You’ve got a whole army behind you. No more lone wolf ok Batman” I say giving him a taste of his medicine with a trademark Julian wink. He giggles at me and lays his head softly in my shoulder. 

“Wow I’m really crazy for you” he puffs out into my crook, the hot air sending shivers up my spine “maybe you’re the actual cause of the plague and not Lucio. I swear love gives me such similar symptoms it’s scary”

“Oh ya?” I giggle tangling my fingers in his hair. “Like what exactly?” He sits up straight and starts counting them on his fingers,

“1. Aching pains, In my heart specifically. 

2. Chills, Whenever you’re around 

3. Cough, nervous coughs cause be being flustered by you constantly (he arches his arches his eyebrow at me)

4. Shortness of breath

5. Pain in the abdomen, my stomach flipping when you speak. 

That’s just I few. See that’s proof, you’re spreading it I’m going to die” he says dramatically throwing his head back and draping his hand on his forehead. I can’t hold in my laugh anymore. I can see him peak at me from under his hand trying to hold his act which makes me laugh even harder throwing my head back and right into water. I lose my balance on his lap and fall in completely. Now he’s bursting with laughter as I come up completely soaked with a curtain of hair in front of my eyes. He parts my hair still wearing a huge smile. 

Well I guess it would be a good time to actually bathe instead of foolin around. Too bad we let the water get so cold.

[hwaddict]

Melting Point (m)

genre: f2L au, Smut, Fluff 

pairing: Song Mingi x Reader

wc: 2.5k

summary: Your spending habits may need work but the one time you're thankful for them because it let you getting to spend some time to get to know your cute neighbor. 

warnings: dom!mingi, sub!reader, unprotected sex, fingering, subtle size kink, oral (fem receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, praise, creampie. 

note: I wrote this yesterday in one sitting and its my first time writing smut but its easily my favorite piece I’ve written and i’m super proud of it. So let me know what you think and enjoy! 

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Having expensive taste as a broke college student makes your time about ten times worse than it needs to be. Your dad always warned you about your spending habits and how if you kept spending money like you did in high school “perfecting your wardrobe” then you wouldn’t have any extra money in college. Long story short, he was completely right. 

So that’s how you find yourself grating string cheese on a Monday night after a long day of school. Every instinct inside of you wanted to just take the easy way out and just order pizza but you had no money, and no string cheese. 

“Why do we never have any string cheese in this damn apartment?” You complain to your roommate of three years named Amelia who’s scanning through the tv trying to find something to wind down. 

 “Probably because you spend your money on pointless stuff like stuffed animals you don’t need.” she shoots back at you.

“Don’t talk that way about Henry.” You say with sarcasm in your voice because you feel completely and absolutely ridiculous in this moment. And even if it kills you, she’s right. You really didn’t need another stuffed animal but you bought it anyway. 

Frustrated with grating string cheese, you finally drop the grater on the counter and decide to take a breather outside. And to make sure you displayed your frustration, you just had to slam the door and make a tiny scene. 

After about a minute of admiring the sunset standing over the balcony railing in the hallway of your dorm building, a deep but soothing voice startles you back to reality. 

“That was a serious door slam, Are you feeling ok?” Your neighbor, Mingi said while ascending up the stairs carrying groceries. 

Mingi, the tall but sweet boy who lived on the same floor as you who you’ve seen a few times while coming and going to school but never really got to know. You always had a tiny crush on him because he was just amazingly good looking and had a genuine heart for others. 

“Yeah I’m fine, I’m just frustrated again with myself, nothing new.” You let out with a sigh while rubbing your face with your hands. 

“Would it help you to calm down if you talked with me?” He said and shifted the weight of his paper grocery bag in his hands to get out his keys from his pocket. 

“Sure. I just can’t be in my room right now or else I’m gonna yell at my roommate and I don’t want to deal with that tonight too.” You say as he follows you into his apartment. 

“So what’s going on y/n?” 

“Honestly I don’t know. I guess I’m just frustrated with the choices I’ve made with money. Like today, if I hadn’t spent my money on a useless stuffed animal, then I would be able to get pizza for dinner instead of making my own.” 

“Well homemade pizza doesn’t sound too bad.” Mingi tries to reassure you while he finishes putting away his groceries. 

“It doesn’t sound too bad until you’re wasting your time grating string cheese.” 

“Oh yeah, I can see how that’s frustrating.” Mingi says with a chuckle imagining your cute little face getting annoyed with something he could’ve helped you with. 

You never would know because of how convinced you are that nobody likes you but Mingi actually did. He’s tried displaying it to you a few times now with helping you carry things up the stairs when you moved in and when you had a party and needed someone to take out the trash for you. Even now, Mingi made a mental note to always keep a spare bag of string cheese in case you needed some. Mingi liked you but you couldn’t get it through your skull that anyone could feel that way towards you. 

“Next time you need something, you know you can always come knock on my door and I might be able to help.” He said while sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to him, signaling you to sit down. “And even if I can’t, I’ll still try my best.” 

“Well thank you Mingi, I appreciate it greatly.” You say as you sit down next to him. 

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” He asks you as his face lights up in a childlike manner. 

“Sure! What do we got?” 

“Well there’s The Incredibles, Spiderman, The Emperor’s New Groove, and 10 things I hate about you which is always a classic” You can easily tell that he wants you to pick the last one just by how his tone changed so you decide on the last one which results in a smile from him. 

There was always a natural chemistry between you and Mingi. You guys were fast friends and the fact that you had a crush on him just made getting to know him that much easier.  So when about an hour and a half into the movie you notice that you’ve relaxed into mingi’s tall and muscular frame and that his arm is draped around your shoulder, you just go along with it. But you can’t help but think that maybe he likes you? It would make sense as to why he’s been so nice to you ever since you moved in. And you don’t see it but he’s internally freaking out that you’re ok with what he’s doing and acting like a complete dork. 

After you finished the movie, you tried to stand up but mingi playfully held back your shoulders so you couldn’t get out of his reach leading to a sigh of slight annoyance coming from you. He then tries to get up and you trip him by hooking his ankle with your foot resulting with him landing right over you, arms caging your head and his legs on both sides of yours in an attempt to not crush you. Astounded, the both of you just lay there not saying anything but admiring. You admiring his facial features and how his hair is the perfect amount of messy and him admiring your beautiful eyes, plump lips, and the way your body fits perfectly underneath him. Finally the silence is broken when he mutters In his low voice, “I really want to kiss you.”

“Then go for it.” You say with newfound confidence. 

His lips passionately crash down onto yours and you kiss him back trying to match his energy as his hand that isn’t supporting him starts to roam down the side of your body to squeeze at your hip as he grinds his hips down onto yours allowing a slight moan to escape from your lips. That same hand snakes it way back up and stops at your chest to cup and slightly squeeze your breast making you gasp in pleasure. He pulls up from the kiss so that your foreheads are resting on each other’s. The sounds of both of your heavy breathing filling the room until Mingi says something.

“Now I’m not going to do anything you’re not comfortable with, but if you’re ok with it, i’d really like to continue this in my room.” You nod your head furiously, head clouded with lust and desire because you don’t want anything more right now. 

“Babygirl I need to hear you.” He says making you want to take you right then and there

“Y-yes please.” And within a matter of seconds he’s picked you up, a hand supporting your neck and the other grabbing your ass to hold you up as you wrap your legs around his torso. He carries you to his room before removing his hand from the back of your neck to open the door for a split second and once you’re in the room, he lays you down so he’s on top of you and starts kissing you as if he needs it to survive. 

Your hands fly to his chest to remove his shirt from his long and chiseled torso and you throw it somewhere and bring your hands back to scratch down the front of his chest. Only to find yourself with your hands over your head as Mingi pins them above you with his hand. He grinds down onto your clothed entrance with a grunt coming from him and you can practically feel him and you can’t help but confirm that he’s big. 

He takes your shirt off and kisses down your neck while sucking and biting on a spot that makes you go weak, leaving a bruise that starts to wind a coil in your stomach. He releases your hands to let himself be able to touch down your body which involves taking off your bra in one motion which makes you wonder how he did that but it’s a question for another time. He squeezes your right breast and his mouth attaches to your left nipple and swirls his tongue around it making your back arch in pleasure and pushing yourself against him in search of much needed friction. 

“God Mingi you make me feel so good.” You let slip out of your mouth with a couple other lewd sounds, fueling him to continue. He kisses down your stomach and stops when he gets to your pants button. You look down at him to watch as he undoes the button and unzips your pants, bringing them down your legs and throwing them to the side. He tugs you by your legs to bring you down to the edge of the bed so he has more access to you and looks at you with a surprised face and mutters “So wet for me already, huh princess?” Only leaving you to release a slight moan and be even more turned on and ready for more. 

He slowly strips the wet panties from your lower half and stuffs them in his back pocket almost as a way of saying you’re his. A slight feeling of insecurity washes over you as he’s left staring at you, vulnerable and on display just for him resulting to you bringing your legs together. He pushes your knees apart and says “You’re beautiful babygirl, no need to hide from me.” And before you know it, he’s licking a stripe from your drenched pussy to your clit and you’re a moaning mess, hands flying down to his hair and slightly tugging at it as his lips land over your clit and start to suck on it. You let out a moan after trying to hold it in as he makes an incoherent noise, letting the vibrations go directly to your clit and filling you with pleasure. He brings his hand to your core to play with your folds and you bring a hand to your mouth to muffle your moaning. Mingi releases from your clit for a second only to say “Let me hear you baby, you sound so beautiful moaning for me.” And he goes directly back to business, his hands roaming your entrance, teasing you relentlessly. He makes eye contact with you to see how fucked out you are at his doing as he inserts a finger into your pussy, pumping at an almost unbelievable speed. Which leaves you with your eyes rolling to the back of your head, only fueling his ego as he watches you. 

You start to clench around him, almost unconsciously signaling him for more when he mentions, “Damn babygirl, so needy for me already.” He inserts another finger into your core, already able to reach the sweet spot. He starts pumping into you faster, leaving you a pleasure filled mess as he curls his fingers to destroy the spot that makes you see stars and uses his other hand to rub furiously on your clit. 

“Oh god Mingi I’m gonna cum!” You yell as pleasure rips through you for the first time tonight. Your vision goes white and your back arches from the immense amount of pleasure. Mingi removes his fingers from your lower region and licks them clean before undoing his belt. He takes off his pants and underwear, exposing himself and his thick, massive cock. He catches you admiring him and playfully asks, “Like what you see?” Which leaves you both smirking. He grabs your hips and flips you over onto your stomach and brings you up to your hands and knees. He pumps himself a few times before lining himself up with your entrance and slowly pushing himself in, allowing you to adjust to his size. 

“Oh my god Mingi.” You moan while wincing as you try to relax so you can adjust. 

“God you’re so tight, and just for me.” He says, turning you on even more which you didn’t even know was possible. After taking some time to adjust, he starts to move back and forth, making you almost scream out in pleasure from how good he feels. You feel a sudden smack on your ass, lurching you forward as mingi pulls you back in, reaching your g-spot and making you moan his name. “Ahh Fuck Mingi right there.” you say as he begins to thrust faster in your hot, wet flesh. The sounds of skin slapping, loud moans, and needy incoherent whimpers fill the room as he mercilessly fucks you from behind. 

After minutes have passed and you feel yourself coming closer to your high and you clench around him as a signal that you’re close. His hand flies to your clit to rub circles into your bundle of nerves furiously. You arch your back out of pleasure and the new angle allows him to go deeper into your drenched pussy. He grabs you by the hair to pull your back against his chest, the action sending you over the edge in overstimulation as he continues to pound into you through your release. 

“Thats its baby, come all over my cock.” He twitches in you and his thrusts get sloppy and you clench on him again, sending him straight into his release. His fluids painting your walls and combining your release with his as it drips down onto his sheets. 

“You did so well babygirl” He says as he flips you over onto your back after gently pulling out of you. He buries his head in your neck and lets his body fall limp over yours. The two of you left there panting while you bring your hand up to stroke his hair and he massages your sides, hands smoothing over your hip and back up to your waist. Both of you just basking in the romantic atmosphere and enjoying each other’s company. After what feels like an eternity, Mingi gets up to grab a wet towel from the bathroom. He comes back and gently wipes you down to clean you from your releases and brings his lips to passionately kiss you with a smile on his face and leaves to start a shower so you can clean your body. 

Your mind goes blank and all you can think is, “This man is going to be the death of me.” 

[grxceblqckthxrn]

hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?

Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia

which scene in the book was your favorite?

EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James  (aside from the whispering room ofc).

what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?

ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((

what scenes were unsatisfactory?

there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)

but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later

what made you laugh the most?

matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said

what bored you?

this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem

also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!

what disappointed you?

cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.

what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?

see above.

what things did you predict that came true?

JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK

what are some things that were really unexpected?

ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:

- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((

-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((

-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl

-liking jesse as much as i did

-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho

-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it

- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him

are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?

yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)

are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?

I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.

who was your favorite new character?

does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!

what places in the book would you like to visit?

that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl

did you like the ending?

ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((

what did you think of the epilogue?

i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this

what are your thoughts on the engagement?

i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.

what did you want to see that didn’t happen?

matthew getting therapy periodt

umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.

what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?

i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug. 

what is your favorite pairing as of now?

jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.

which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?

CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER 

ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass

matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu

what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?

ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life

and barbara!! she seemed so sweet 

which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?

ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.

oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies

which characters got what they deserved?

literally. none of them yet. :(

who should have died but didn’t?

Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent 

what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?

okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but

what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?

THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy

which pairing do you like the least?

alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol

what are some theories you have for chain of iron?

- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane

- the bracelet will break (?)

- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book

-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.

what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?

lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)

anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT

[vitosscaletta]

oh you know... 🤠 x 🤡🔥 for the ask 😏

(hehe... thank u 😌 also @chuckhansen and @queennymeria asked for her too so)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

Oh you know... fun Z*** camping trip gone wrong :)

What was their first impression of each other?

jhsdjhdf NOT good! Technically not a real first impression for her since she already knew who he was pretty much all her life and what he did in the past. If anything, the things she saw (you know. heads on spikes, creepy wall art, etc.) only confirmed what she thought of him. The only thing that surprised her was the talk about religion and all that - needless to say she didn’t buy it 😌 more out of principle rather than it being based on the things she saw so far, she’s too stubborn to really change her opinion!!

I don’t think 🤡 was too impressed with her either - she’s very open about her distrust of him & he’s trying to appear like he changed or whatever (which he hasn’t but probably believes it ) so of course he resents it!!! Also isn’t really convinced that she agreed to help just for other people’s sake, she’s probably just trying to get that map... which is wrong but ya know!

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

NO... J***** has no friends and Audrey’s CERTAINLY wouldn’t. Her family even more so than her friends. 

Who felt romantic feelings first? 

hehehe... 🤡🔥 for sure but more in a way that was like.. looks at her being genuinely good, like doing things for other people & being concerned for them without ever asking anything in return & just seeing how she’s getting warm smiles and actual affection from them & feels kinda weird about it, it’s so different from literally almost everyone he’s ever known but in a good way.. conflicting feelings but I’ll talk about that more under the next question teehee

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

oh god yes both of them but in a completely different way 😌

for J***** it’s conflicting like I said, she’s stupid and annoying as hell but in a weird way he’s impressed (not at first but. event chilly) by how she’s so caring & just genuinely a good person but in a sexy and badass way. But also thinks it’s dumb as hell, he’s too old for that shit so he’s just like... “ugh enough i’m gonna go back to reloading guns 😑” whenever he’s staring at her for too long

Audrey too but it’s more.. her being pissed because he’s a terrible person and even if he has changed, it doesn’t undo the things he did in the past. She’s so embarrassed about the whole thing 😔

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

omg.. J***** probably doesn’t believe in that kinda stuff and Audrey would be like. “LOL did you hurt your head??”

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Audrey.. weird ass confession thing on her last day before leaving for the m***** again so it’s mostly just letters from then on. Until she decides it’s time for shitty camping trip... 2! 

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

no dates for them :●(

What was their first kiss like?

GODDD really awkward... because he didn’t do anything back at first & she feels so embarrassed - she’s not shy when it comes to that kinda stuff, this is weird for her though and she thought she did something wrong & regrets it :/ kiss nr two was still a little weird bc he probably caught her in a bad angle but it wasn’t awkward... she still liked it 😌 freak

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

first kiss <3 no im just kidding... imagine. Not really!!

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

I never make up heights for my ocs, she’s a bit smaller than him though :^) but not that much. 

Age difference is cursed.. about 20 years 🤢 She’s in her thirties though so it’s not like. really old man & super young and inexperienced little girl. She’s also definitely not someone who puts up with his bullshit so 😌

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

ummmm I honestly do not think anyone from her family would be thrilled to see him. at all. I haven’t decided if and how they find out but it would be like.. shrek 2 dinner scene :/ 

Don’t laugh at me but in my cringe hc Josh has an older sister.. they’re not exactly on good terms but she & Audrey would be cool I guess. 😌

Who takes the lead in social situations?

AUDREY DUHHH... maxed out speech skill bitches only

Who gets jealous easier?

I think Josh a little, mostly because there’s not much for Audrey to be jealous of, meanwhile she chats with literally everyone and most people really do like her so when someone gets a little too close he’s like... :| doesn’t say anything about it though

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

Audrey does. she has to do all the work :(

What are their primary love languages?

I had to do a quiz for this but uuuhhhhh apparently acts of service bitches

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Not much  :●( they’re private about it except maybe hand touching or something, also there’s a lot they just can’t do bc that shit hurted 

What are their favorite things to do together?

There’s not really much to do honestly but mostly just.. chilling... late night talks. Or sometimes not talking at all while she puts on some music and hums along. It’s usually Nancy Sinatra or The Mamas & The Papas so he’s like... :////// but she’s having a good time so. Sometimes she’s nice and puts on music that he like.. some obscure shit from the 40s. 

Also I guess she also likes to hear him read weird ass bible passages out loud. She’s not really paying any attention to the content of it but it’s nice 😌

Who’s better at comforting the other?

Audrey.. she’s a bit overbearing sometimes so that’s a little frustrating but I feel like Josh would say really stupid things trying to helpful 🙄

Who’s more protective?

both 😌 Josh more in a “threatens anyone who messes with her at gunpoint or something” way (I’m exaggerating of course. but also.. am i..) while Audrey is more level-headed about it

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Verbal affection, mostly because physical isn’t always possible, but also the acts of service kinda thing. protectiveness and all that shit

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

MUSIC YES.... time to plug their playlist. in specifi.. NFWMB by hozier mostly... the vibes.. the lyrics.. the intensity of it all

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

None. just their names... Audrey will call him Josh sometimes for fun... drake & josh theme playing

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

I actually don’t know if they’d get married tbh. Realistically yes??? But I also can’t really... envision it...

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

who knows? not me

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Two 😌 Ben & Rachel... they’re both weird as hell but also have their mother’s overpowered charisma stats which is cute when they’re small but gets a little annoying when they’re older

Do they have any pets?

technically Rex bc she forgot to return him to the king : /

Who’s the stricter parent?

J***** for sure.. he’s weird & doesn’t want to be any negative influence in any way but at the same time he’s probably the one to put up rules that no one really cares for

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Also him probably

How do they celebrate holidays?

Not much.. I feel like Christian holidays aren’t really much of a thing anymore (idk if mormons have like the same holidays.. I don’t wanna google either ❤) but Audrey tries to do something on islamic holidays, she doesn’t really know much about religion but they were a thing when she grew up :/ it’s not much, just. putting up one decorative item or something

Who’s the better cook?

neither :( it’s blamco mac and cheese all year around

[january3693]

So, I wrote a thing about Remus and Sirius fighting with Dumbledore over custody of Harry post POA. I got just a few lines of dialogue and like a snippet of a scene stuck in my head, demanding that I write it out. It doesn’t feel like a complete thing, like a real one shot or something, so I’m not going to post it to AO3 right now. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here, but I wanted to make it an AU where Sirius is now free (because that’s my favorite canon divergence) and has worked things out with Remus and has already absconded with Harry. Also, Lyall Lupin is here, because I head canon him as being both alive and being a cranky badass, and I love him (also Remus, Sirius, and Harry are staying with Lyall because we all know Remus’s cottage isn’t fit for reasonable human habitation, and fuck Grimmauld Place). Again, I don’t know what I’m doing with this, maybe it belongs to a longer fic, but if so I probably won’t be writing that fic for a while yet. Until then, it’s just a random little scene I felt the desire to write.

(It’s long, so I put it below a Keep Reading line)

They Apparated from the Burrow back to Wales rather than take the Floo. It was supposed to be a quick stop only, just to grab a few things before spending the next two nights back at Remus’s cottage. Remus had suggested it, feeling that without the mitigating influence of Harry in the house the tensions between Lyall and Sirius might blossom into open warfare. Better for them all that they all give each other a little space.

Then Lyall met them at the door, a grim scowl on his face and a large mug of coffee in hand. “You have a visitor in the kitchen,” he said tightly.

“Ah, I thought we might sometime soon,” Remus replied with a sigh.

“Bollocks,” Sirius added unhelpfully.

At least Dumbledore had waited until Harry was off to the World Cup with the Weasleys. This was not going to be a pleasant conversation for anyone involved, Remus imagined.

He could feel the storm already gathering strength as he and Sirius followed Lyall back through the house to the kitchen. Sirius had been doing so well controlling his temper, but that had been for Harry’s sake, Remus knew. They had both held their tongues over the past week every time Harry let some new, horrifying kernel of information slip out about his life with the Dursleys.

Harry wasn’t here though, and Remus had been anticipating an explosion of Sirius’s fury and horror once they were safely back at his cottage. Hell, Remus had planned to add his own rage to the mix. They weren’t going to get their chance to scream their frustrations into the void though. At least, not before they were forced to have a long conversation with Albus Dumbledore. A conversation that might very easily devolve into shouting.

Remus winced; pitting Sirius against Dumbledore was very nearly the definition of an unstoppable force meeting and immovable object.

Dumbledore sat at the kitchen table, sipping tea from a delicate porcelain cup that had not come from the cabinet above Lyall’s sink. Knowing his father, Lyall probably hadn’t offered Dumbledore any sort of refreshment. Honestly, Remus was surprised his father had let the headmaster into the house in the first place.

Looking up at them, Dumbledore smiled. It seemed so warm, so genuine, that Remus almost believed this might not be the fight he’d expected. Maybe Dumbledore just had a few reasonable concerns that they could smooth over and come to an easy, agreed upon solution to Harry’s custody situation.

Then he remembered all the letters he’d sent, the pleas to be allowed to visit Harry, or send him letters, or even get updates on how he was doing. Dumbledore had answered so politely and sympathetically, always cloaking his very firm no in kindness.

“Good afternoon, Remus, Sirius,” Dumbledore said with a smile. “Would you like a biscuit?” He gestured to a tin of iced lemon biscuits that he’d clearly brought with him. Remus’s sweet tooth had come straight from his mother; Lyall had no taste for chocolate or other sweets and rarely kept them in the house.

“No,” Sirius said sharply.

“No thank you,” Remus added a little more politely.

Dumbledore’s smile never faltered. “Ah, well, we have some very important things to discuss then, namely regarding Harry.” He gestured to the chairs opposite him. Lyall harrumphed around a sip of his coffee. Sirius and Remus both sat though, perhaps some inborn obedience lingered after all these years.

To Remus’s surprise, his father refilled his coffee mug and settled back against the counter, ready to watch the show.

“Dad, could you give us a few minutes?” Remus asked.

Lyall crossed his arms over his chest, a stubborn tilt to his chin. “You can talk as long as you’d like, but this is my house and I won’t be thrown out of my own bloody kitchen for anyone or anything.”

“That’s quite all right, Remus,” Dumbledore said politely. “As the only parent present, I’m sure your father has valuable insight into the rigors and complications of raising a child.”

“You want my insight?” Lyall asked, nostrils flaring. “Ignoring the rest of this clusterfuck, you should have given the boy to Remus thirteen years ago.” 

That caught them all by surprise. Remus let out a long breath and couldn’t seem to draw in a new one. It was a thought he’d had himself over the years. For the most part, he’d been able to silence it by telling himself that Harry was better off with the Dursleys. That they would be able to provide for him, care for him better than Remus ever would have been able to—poor, jobless, grieving mess that he had been after the war. Then he’d met the teenaged Harry and had slowly learned how much of a lie that had been. A lie he’d told himself, but one that Dumbledore had corroborated in his own gentle way.

Even Lyall, who had once cautioned Remus about how difficult it would be for him to ever have or raise children, believed Harry would have been better off with Remus than the Dursleys.

“He’s damned right,” Sirius snapped. He turned to give Lyall a solemn nod. They might not get along, but on this front the two of them were in complete agreement. “Lily was estranged from her sister for good reasons. If I wasn’t able to take Harry in, James and Lily would have wanted him to go to Remus, and you know it, Albus.”

“Dad, Sirius…” Remus began with a sigh.

“They could have come here,” Lyall said before Remus could get another self-defeating word out. “I’d have taken them both in in an instant. We might not have had a lot, but I was always able to keep a roof over my family’s head and food on the table. Harry would have been cared for…loved.”

“But he would not have been safe,” Dumbledore interjected.

“And what precisely is that supposed to mean?” Lyall growled.

Dumbledore sighed. “I meant no slights against either Remus or yourself, Lyall,” the headmaster assured them. “Rather, I was speaking about protections provided by your house.”

Lyall’s hackles rose almost as much at the insult to his home as they had over the affront to his person. Before he could curse or yell at the headmaster though, Remus jumped back into the conversation.

“This isn’t a permanent situation,” Remus insisted. “My cottage is too small for three people, but we’re making other arrangements.”

“I was planning to have a new house built on my uncle’s property,” Sirius added. “It’s secluded and the land is already well protected. We can add as many spells and charms to the house as you see fit, Albus, but we can’t send Harry back to live with those…those…toerags!”

Remus had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as Sirius dragged out Lily’s favorite childhood insult to keep from swearing. There was nothing funny about the sadly immovable expression on Dumbledore’s face. It radiated understanding and empathy, but insisted their arguments had not changed his mind.

“Harry is protected by powerful magic while he lives with his aunt and uncle,” Dumbledore said patiently. “Protections I’m afraid neither of you will be able to replicate. Lily sacrificed herself to save Harry’s life, and that sacrifice created a lingering protection in Harry’s very blood. It’s why Voldemort cannot bear to touch him without pain. It also enabled me to cast a powerful charm that was sealed when Petunia Dursley accepted her nephew into her home.”

“A bond of blood charm,” Lyall raised a questioning eyebrow at Dumbledore. “That’s the charm you’re referring to, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Dumbledore said with a nod. “You’re familiar with it?”

Lyall snorted. “I married a Muggle woman and raised a son with lycanthropy during a time when a maniac and his followers would have happily killed the lot of us for either of those things. I’m very familiar with protection spells.” Remus resisted the urge to flinch at the reminder that his condition had put his parents at risk for years. His father didn’t sound bitter about it though. He actually seemed rather proud.

“That’s how I know you’re feeding these two a cartload of erumpent shite,” Lyall added.

Dumbledore blinked surprised blue eyes at Lyall’s proclamation.

“There’s no such thing as a perfect protection charm,” Lyall continued. “If there was everyone would use it, and we’d all have nothing to worry about. Bonds of blood can be powerful protection, especially since the circumstances required to create them are rare and not easily replicated.” Lyall explained. “They’ve got one hell of a weak spot though. The protections are only as powerful as the bonds between the living, not the blood of the sacrifice. I can think of half a dozen ways to undo one, especially if the boy’s relatives are half the wankstains my son and Black here claim they are.”

“They’re worse,” Sirius muttered, though no one paid him any mind.

Dumbledore frowned. He might have been prepared for Remus and Sirius and all their emotional arguments, but he obviously hadn’t counted on Lyall. “Petunia Dursley knowingly activated the charm when she took Harry into her home and care. She accepted the bond.”

Sirius looked ready to snap at the word care, but Remus squeezed his shoulder to stop him. Their anger wouldn’t win this fight, but if his father knew something that might…

Lyall glowered at Dumbledore as if the man had personally challenged him. “The boy’s aunt might have taken him in and activated the charm, but either one of them can break it easily. Bonds of blood are finicky magic, full of loopholes, technicalities, and with plenty of ways for a person to break the charm completely by accident.” He set his mug down so he could tick points off on his fingers. “One wrong word spoken during an argument could undo the whole thing. If this aunt ever told Harry to ‘get out’ in the wrong tone, or if Harry ever claimed his aunt’s house wasn’t his home—Poof! There goes your fancy charm. And how far would you say these Dursleys would go to protect the boy? From what Harry himself said they don’t seem to like him much, let alone love him.”

Dumbledore sighed. “Reluctant or not, she still took him in and—”

“And what would she do if someone were to threaten her own son? If some shady bastard came up to her on the street—away from that protected house—and said ‘we’ll kill your own boy if you don’t give us the other one,’ or if they offered her money—a fortune in exchange for an unwanted, unloved nephew? That’s the flaw of blood bond charms, almost similar to the Fidelius that caused you lot so much grief. The bond relies on trust, on love. Without that it’s fragile as a thread.”

“The Dursleys wouldn’t suffer a hangnail to protect Harry, and you know it,” Sirius snarled at Dumbledore.

“Are you even sure the charm’s still active?” Remus asked. “Your protections saved Harry his first year, we’re not denying that, but a lot has happened between Harry and the Dursleys since then, none of it good.”

“Most of it abusive,” Sirius added under his breath.

The headmaster hesitated. He looked caught between frustration, guilt, and exasperation. Remus felt a stab of fury. His father had poked these holes in Dumbledore’s plan in less than five minutes, Dumbledore himself had to have considered these things over the last decade.

“I understand that it might have been the best option at the time given…everything else that happened,” Remus said diplomatically. He didn’t want to be the damn peacekeeper here, but it obviously wasn’t going to be Sirius or even his father. If pushed they were both likely to snap and shove right back. “However, things have changed, Albus. Sirius and I want Harry. We’d both die to protect him. That has to be worth something.”

“Especially when you consider Harry doesn’t want to live with the Dursleys. He’d known me for all of an hour—half of which he spent thinking I’d helped kill his parents—and he asked if he could move in with me. What sort of life must he have had that moving in with an escaped felon he barely knew sounded like a step up? What did they—”

Sirius’s diatribe choked off in the middle of his sentence. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep shaky breath. Remus opened his mouth to take up where his partner had left off, to argue, to fight, to rage even, but the words caught in his throat as Sirius’s hand settled atop his tightly balled fist. When Sirius’s eyes opened again they fixed on the table before him, but Remus could tell he wasn’t actually seeing it.

When Sirius spoke the anger was gone from his voice, replaced by something soft and frighteningly brittle. “My family’s house was very well protected. There were truly ancient runes inscribed in the foundations, and generations of Blacks had layered spells and charms into every brick and stone and floorboard—my father was practically obsessed with it toward the end of his life. It was unplottable, invisible to Muggles, had anti-apparition and concealment charms, anything you could think of. I was as safe growing up there as a child could ever be…” Sirius pulled his gaze away from the table and his grey eyes locked with Dumbledore’s blue. “…From everything outside of those walls.”

Remus’s fist unclenched beneath Sirius’s hand, and he turned his palm up to clasp his partner’s fingers. Sirius gripped them tight in return. To that day, Remus was certain he still didn’t know the entirety of what had happened to Sirius within Grimmauld Place. He’d gleaned pieces of the puzzle over the years, some from Sirius himself, others from his own observations and suppositions. It was more than enough to know the terrible shape of what Sirius had suffered for sixteen years, if not all of the details.

“I made mistakes before,” Sirius continued. “Believe me, I know every facet of them intimately. I can’t undo them, but I would give my life to keep Harry safe. I would kill to protect him. So would Remus. I will do anything to protect him…anything except stand by and allow the very people who are supposed to care for him, to love him, hurt him in any way.”

His voice was still quiet, but there was a vicious passion beneath the words that spoke worlds. He had already spent twelve years in hell, but Remus didn’t doubt for one second that Sirius would storm straight back into Azkaban or Tartarus itself if it would spare Harry even a minute of suffering.

Remus squeezed the hand holding his. If it came to that, Sirius would not be going alone this time.

Sirius didn’t say another word, but his eyes stayed locked with Dumbledore’s, and—for the first time Remus could ever recall—it was Dumbledore who blinked first. It made him wonder how many pieces of the puzzle the headmaster had put together himself over the years, both about Sirius’s childhood and Harry’s own.

It wasn’t a surrender though. Remus could read as much in the way Dumbledore sighed and steepled his hands in front of him.

Lyall cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention. “You’re all forgetting something,” he said quietly. His eyes darted to Sirius for a moment, wary, but with a new level of respect. “It’s Harry’s life you’re debating, he’s fourteen years old, more than old enough to understand the risks and have a say in this decision.”

[generalfoolish]

We Go Together

Chapter Five: Laundry Service

Rating: Mature 

Summary: Just a make out session/

A/N: don’t @ me about having to build up to an actual sex scene

Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

They had turned to head back to the trail when the rain started. It came slow at first. A soft, summer rain, the fat drops falling lazily on them as they picked their way back to base. Another clap of thunder announced the storm’s true arrival. The rain came heavily now, the drops soaking the pair to the bone, and ruining the careful path. The trail became treacherous as the rain made the soil slick and unforgivable. Dary noticed her boot tread was slipping more and more.

When the base was finally in sight, Dary was exhausted. Her clothes felt unbearably heavy, and her legs were screaming at each torturous step. Poe had radioed ahead, and they were met at the door with towels. The young man led them to a small room off the hangar, and apologized that this was the only accommodation available.

When the door shut, Poe turned the lock, and gave her a half smirk.

“I only brought the clothes on my back.” He told her, a trace of humor in his voice. She shivered at the thought of staying in her own soaked clothes. She hadn’t brought anything else, either. “Okay, here’s the deal, my shirt is still a little dry, you can thaw out in it.” She felt the heat rise in her cheeks as she considered the offer. “Or,” He murmured as her eyes met his, “there are other ways of getting warm.” He smiled devilishly, and she playfully swatted his shoulder.

“Okay, give me your shirt.” She told him, rubbing the warm towel on her freezing cheek. He grinned, maybe a little disappointed and pulled his jacket off. He carefully hung the wet leather up over the back of a chair. She watched his ritual, and noted that the room was frightfully small. A single cot in the corner, a small desk with a tiny chair, now dwarfed in the jacket. An old radiator in the corner hummed along, and she glanced over the bookshelf beside the desk. Poe started undoing the buttons on his shirt as he faced her. It was off in a flash and he handed it over with a smile. She hesitated reaching out, her eyes trailing over his naked torso.

“Hey, my eyes are up here.” He teased, covering up with his free hand. She took the shirt from him, and hesitated again. He looked at her expectantly, then his face fell. “You’re kidding right? You just oogled me like crazy, and now I have to turn around?” He sounded exasperated but he turned without a real fight. She smiled again and tugged her wet shirt up and off. Quickly, she unhooked her bra, and pulled Poe’s shirt on. She struggled with the buttons, and he cleared his throat.

“Sorry, it’s just the buttons are on the wrong side.” She laughed. Her hands were so cold they were shaking. He cupped her hands in his and blew on them. She laughed at him, but felt her hands warming up ever so slightly. She saw him glance at her bare chest, the shirt barely hiding anything. She knew her nipples were achingly hard, and probably perfectly visible through the thin material of his shirt. He dropped her hands, and finished the buttons on the shirt.

“There,” He told her with a smile, “Ready to go. Now, you turn around, my legs are freezing.” He was smiling, probably joking, but she did as she was told. She didn’t think too much about it, because she was freezing too, and tugged her own pants down. The heat from the room felt like a fire against her bare legs, and she shivered hard again.

All at once he was hugging her from behind, and she melted against him.

“You’re so warm.” She told him with a sigh.

Dary tried to focus on warmth being generated between them, and not the feeling of his bare legs touching hers, or the subtle feeling of growth against her butt as she shivered against him. His breath in her hair, his hands on her arms, and she could feel the warmth everywhere.

“Come on, get under the covers, it’ll be warmer.” He told her, his mouth moving against her hair. Silently, she obeyed, crawling in bed, and burrowing under the blankets. She looked back at him, expecting him to join her. He was just standing beside the bed, a soft smile on his lips, and a longing gaze raking over her. She patted the bed, a wordless invitation, and he smiled that smile that killed her. He moved to join, but before he could get into the bed there was a knock at the door.

“Laundry service,” he answered the question she hadn’t managed to ask, and he bent to scoop up her clothes. Blushing she realized she had stripped out of her underwear, and now at least two people knew it. Poe shoved the clothes out the door, and closed it promptly. Making sure that the person collecting clothes didn’t get a show, she assumed, and smiled at him. A perfect gentleman. Her own mind, though, was much less chaste.

Poe’s body was as close to perfection as she could imagine. Tanned and taute, a small path of dark hair leading into his shorts. His legs, muscular and tanned, leading up to the same destination. He noticed her fervent gaze, and joined her quickly. She cuddled against him, his arms holding her tightly. Their limbs entwined beneath the thin blanket, and she nuzzled closer to him.

“I was just thinking,” He started, and trailed off, his fingers twirling strands of her hair.

“Hmm?” She hummed against his shoulder, her lips brushing his sharp collar bone.

“That you were the most beautiful woman in this galaxy.” She chuckled against him, and pressed her lips against his shoulder on purpose. Trailing kisses, she worked her way lazily to his neck.

“Only this galaxy?” She asked, breathless, feeling him squirm ever so slightly.

“Well, I mean, the universe is pretty big.” He told her with a chuckle, lifting her chin to face him.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but before she could retaliate his lips were on hers again. In a swift movement, he had ever so slightly pinned her under him. He angled his chin to deepen the kiss, and without thinking her tongue brushed his. He brought one hand up to support himself, leaning over her, feeling pinned down she kissed him deeper. He let his other hand trail down her side, and then find the divot of her hip. He kept his hand clamped down on the spot, but it only made the warmth in her grow. She wrapped her hands up around his neck, letting them explore his curly, brown hair, tracing his neck, playing with his ear lobes, and finally letting them slide down his back. He moaned softly at her touch, and nipped at her lips. She smiled around his lips, and he broke the kiss.

“Well, I’m all warmed up.” He told her, acting like he was pulling away, though she noticed he still gripped her hip.

“Me too, thanks.” She said, playfully pulling his hair.

“Oh what, you wanna kiss me or something?” He asked, his eyes raking over her face hungrily.

“That’s not all I want,” She murmured, finally letting herself recognize the heat between them. He was between her legs, and only the thin material of his shorts was keeping them apart, and she ached for him. She had wanted him the moment they met. She didn’t care about his reputation or what this would mean for them in the workplace, all she wanted was him inside of her.

“I know.” He told her with another kiss. “But, I--” A knock at the door choked out whatever thought Poe had on his tongue. He groaned and put his head down on her shoulder. Another knock, louder. “Hang on!” He hollered over his shoulder. He pushed himself off of her, and quickly rearranged himself, throwing her a look she couldn’t read, before walking the short distance to the door. A second later, the door was shut again, but this time Poe returned with clothes.

“Laundry service.” He told her with a small smile. He lifted her panties off the top, and raised an eyebrow. “Did you know you were going to be naked with me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. She shook her head, not knowing where he was going. “These are my favorite.” He told her, matter-of-factly. “In fact, I think I’ll keep these. And you can get them back the next time I get to see you like this.” He smiled and handed her the rest of her clothes. “If it’s still what you want.” She could only nod.

“Okay, good. I need to explain why we’re here, why I couldn’t…” She nodded encouragingly. “It’s the coordinates of something that could spell a lot of trouble for us. First Order sympathizers, and the big fights were won, but there’s always someone new scratching to get into power. I can’t let myself be distracted right now. I want...I mean so badly, you’re a gorgeous woman, half naked, clearly into it, but I can’t. Not right now.”

“It’s fine, Poe. Really." She told him, blushing deeply at the fact that she had jumped into bed with him so quickly. She had never done that, and he was her commanding officer no less. Honestly, she told herself, she was glad he pumped the brakes. He handed her her clothes back with another small smile and put his own pants back on. She had unbuttoned his shirt, and slipped her own back on. The process of getting redressed that much sadder now that nothing has really happened. She handed him his shirt back, and he took it from her gently.

"I did enjoy you in my shirt," he told her with a chuckle. She laughed back.

"Well, maybe we'll revisit that sometime." His smile dazzled her, and she could tell he had another quip but his comms buzzed. As he read the message, his eyebrows furrowed. He exhaled loudly.

"What is it?" She asked, not knowing if it was something he could talk about, even if he wanted to.

"This storm," He paused, looking over at her now completely dressed, the moment between them long dried up. "Has grounded everyone. No one gets in, and no one gets out."

[some-lists]

Ranking all the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers

Go Go Power Rangers! I felt it was time for another 90’s throwback. Today I’m ranking all the Power Rangers from Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. Just about every 90’s kid was obsessed with this show. It was a phenomenon. It started out with the original five in its first season. As the show went on, we saw a number of replacements added to the cast.

As a child, I had my definite favorites based on my childhood memories. I later rewatched the series as an adult and my perspective on the characters really changed. This is my ranking based on what I observed as an adult looking back.

10. Kat Hillard (Pink Ranger)

Kat had the unfortunate task of filling Kimberly’s shoes as the new Pink Ranger. She was doomed from the start. The writers introduced the character as a villain -- a fellow student under an evil spell to undo the Pink Ranger. It made us not like her from the very beginning. Kat eventually grew into her role, especially in the following seasons of Zeo and Turbo. But initially, she felt like an imposter who literally did not fit the suit.

9. Aisha Campbell (Yellow Ranger)

I liked Aisha as a kid. I liked her sassy attitude and that she was girly and short. After watching the show again as an adult, I realized how completely useless she was as a ranger. She had no fighting ability whatsoever, couldn’t do any flips, and didn’t offer any brain power either. I actually felt embarrassed watching her fight scenes.

8. Rocky DeSantos (Red Ranger)

I think Rocky got a raw deal as the new Red Ranger. Many viewers were used to seeing the Red Ranger as a leader. However, when Rocky was introduced, he was just another ranger on the side. I don’t think this was his fault as Jason had already been demoted as leader after Tommy became the White Ranger. As a kid, I liked Rocky. I didn’t mind him as an adult either. His taekwondo skills were actually better than Jason’s. He was faster, more agile, could kick higher, and do more flips. Unfortunately, as one of the replacement rangers, he was always in the background.

7. Jason Lee Scott (Red Ranger)

Ranking Jason this low is gonna shock some die hard fans. As a kid, I absolutely loved Jason. He was one of my favorite rangers. I thought he was a great leader and strong fighter. He was the glue who got his team to work together. I especially preferred him as a leader over Tommy. But when I rewatched the show as an adult, I realized he really didn’t do anything! He had maybe two episodes about him. One was about him bench pressing a world record where he lifted weights the entire episode. That’s pretty much all he ever did. He lifted weights, punched bags, and occasionally taught a karate class or two. Essentially, he was there to flex his muscles and not much else. Even his sword, which I remembered being so cool, was pretty much useless. That was a big eye opener for me. I was also disappointed to see that his taekwondo skills weren’t as great as I remembered them. He was really slow, kinda clunky. Overall, Jason deserved better than what we was given.

6. Billy Cranston (Blue Ranger)

As the resident brain, Billy managed to invent the team’s communicators, which were also teleportation devices, and a flying car. He often operated the computers at the Command Center along with Alpha-5. It’s fair to say he contributed significantly to the team. He was a weak fighter in the beginning, but somehow became a super ripped expert gymnast by the end of his run. The show never explained that, but it was never a realistic show anyway.

5. Adam Park (Black Ranger)

I remember not liking Adam very much as a child. He was so quiet, shy, and often in the back as one of the replacement rangers. In my child mind that meant he was boring. However, as an adult, I realized how awesome he really was. First of all, he was way cute and I didn’t even see it before. He was smart and often operated the Command Center along with Billy (good ole Asian stereotyping). But mostly, he was an incredible fighter. His Shaolin kung fu style was a beauty to behold. His kicks, spins, and flips were so quick, effortless, and graceful. He had the best line in the movie: “I’m a frog,” which turned out to be the best zord as well. As the seasons went on (especially into Zeo and Turbo), he became much stronger, more confident, and a lot funnier too.

4. Zack Taylor (Black Ranger)

Zack is seriously underrated. He had a great personality. He was the life of the party, a great dancer, and funny. He even created his own martial arts style called Hip Hop Kido. He especially shined in the second season as he incorporated his karate with dance moves and incredible acrobatics. In my opinion, he was a way better fighter than Jason. If he had been given the proper treatment, Zack would’ve been on the same level as Tommy. After Zack left the show, the cast wasn’t nearly as fun.

3. Trini Kwan (Yellow Ranger)

Original Yellow Ranger Trini was the best. She was strong, brave, and intelligent. She had a spiritual side to her that was cool, calm, mature, and classy. She had natural leadership skills that were completely overlooked. I’d even say that when unmorphed, she was the true leader. She often stepped up and encouraged the other members no matter what situation they were in. She could understand Billy’s nerd talk and translated for the team. She also kicked serious butt. She became a big role model for many Asian American girls, as she was one of the first Asian American actresses with a visible role on television.

2. Tommy Oliver (Green & White Ranger)

I loved Tommy as the Green Ranger. His karate took the show to the next level. He was super bad ass and totally convincing as a villain. That evil laugh was perfect. Even after becoming good, the writers found a way to keep him around. His weakening powers and ultimately losing his powers gave him a tragic appeal. His relationship with Kimberly was also super cute. He was an exciting fighter and a compelling character. But, I didn’t really like him as the White Ranger. Once he became the White Ranger and the new team leader, he became a lot less interesting. He no longer had a real story. His martial arts was always top notch, but compared to the Green Ranger, White Ranger Tommy was too perfect and a lot more boring. Separately, I would’ve ranked White Ranger Tommy after Adam, but Green Ranger Tommy was awesome. Like I said, he elevated the show.

1. Kimberly Hart (Pink Ranger)

Kimberly was such a popular character. She was loved by girls who wanted to be like her, and by boys who had a crush on her. As an adult, I could easily see why and I was actually really surprised. She was hands down the star of the show. She had the most episodes dedicated to her out of all the rangers. Even when the episode wasn’t about her, she often saved the day with her bow and arrow. Seriously. She saves the team in almost every episode. Even though she wasn’t the strongest fighter unmorphed, her gymnastics skills were crazy impressive. Overall, she was the most valuable and consistent ranger on the team. Without her, they would’ve been toast.

Overall Thoughts

First of all, I couldn’t believe how poor quality the show was. They obviously reused the same footage over and over again. Even more unbelievable is how we all believed it as kids! But that cheesiness is now one of the best aspects of the show.

I was also surprised by how much the show favored certain characters over others. Kimberly had the most spotlight, followed by Billy. When Tommy showed up, it became all about him. Zack and Trini were tied for second to last place for air time. Jason was dead last. He was barely even in the show. It’s no wonder the three were unhappy and left the show when they did.

Rewatching the series also made me realize how much the movies glorified Tommy at the expense of the Pink Ranger. In the first film that meant Kimberly, who I mentioned in this list was an incredibly strong character. In the Turbo movie, they weakened Kat for Tommy to rescue her as well. That’s super disappointing as the show offered some really cool role models for young girls.

One thing I appreciated about the female rangers was how feminine they were. Kimberly was a fashion crazy mall rat, but she was never diminished for it. It just happened to be her personality. It was never a weakness. None of the girls were expected to act like boys in order to be strong. Later in Zeo and Turbo, Tanya was more tomboyish. She naturally excelled at sports and that was really cool too.

Overall, I was impressed by how much stunts these young actors did. The putty scenes were my favorite. We got to see the real actors (not costumed stunt doubles) do all their own stunts. They were all talented martial artists of various styles and masterful gymnasts. As the show progressed, so did the choreography. I can understand why the actors complained about not being paid enough.

Today, most of the newer Power Rangers shows don’t do their own stunts like the originals did. They’re a lot more flashier as well with explosions going off in every episode. Even though the budget is higher and the actors have more rights now, it doesn’t beat the nit and grit or the talent of the original Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers.

[ghostmartyr]

Avengers: Endgame Thoughts

SPOILERS, obviously.

So I figure I’ll babble enough to keep all the genuinely spoilery content under an appropriately timed cut. Even though everything after this statement is full of expectation spoilers. The few key things that I can think about to mention are that I really appreciated the movie and enjoyed the highs and teared up aplenty.

Also that I think this is going to be a primarily negative post. Whoops.

Not because I think it’s awful. I want to emphasize that I don’t think it is awful, because I am very worried that I’m going to forget to say that.

There’s a base level of quality you can sort of expect from MCU movies, so I don’t generally feel the need to move beyond the role of passive audience member for them. Then Infinity War really impressed me, and I couldn’t wait to see how everything was going to wrap up when they really left the movie there, so my investment level piqued.

As a result, there are more thoughts than usual. About a movie I really did find to be of high quality, and probably would see again happily if planning to sit still for another three hours didn’t make me twitchy.

I liked the movie.

There are just some character decisions and plot mechanics and overall writing decisions that... really?

First thing that I don’t have much to say about but can’t rationalize having a complaint post with no mention of: Thor and Hulk.

People in charge of the movie, you had no problem including Captain Marvel when you had no earthly clue what to actually do with her. Her smile warmed my heart in every scene she graced, and while I was criminally disappointed she was not more involved, none of the material she was given made me feel like the people writing her didn’t care about her.

...

Actually, now that I think about it, this should not have just a Thor and Hulk complaint section. Like that was the idea, because I didn’t have much, because I don’t care (slightly different than the writers’ level of don’t care), but the whole...

...

Oy.

Here, once for flavor, with the knowledge that I’ll get back to it and repeatedly whine about it this whole post.

I find the fucking time skip wanting in too many ways for me to really forgive the film for.

Anyway, Thor and Hulk.

In short, no.

In less short, what are you doing.

Hulk I don’t have a serious gripe with, except my main complaint about Infinity War was how Banner (I should probably change how I name him based on which character I’m talking about, but I really just mean the entity represented by a particular actor so I can’t care that much) got used up as comedy relief. You can have comedic moments and characters. If you have transformed your character into a comedic moment, you’ve fucked up.

(See Thor in too much of this movie.)

But one of the interesting parts of Hulk’s general arc in the MCU was how Banner and Hulk were starting to negotiate for their place in their body.

Cue Endgame, cue time skip, cue completely glossing over how they make their peace with each other.

Avengers franchise, why?

I am not attached to Hulk or Banner or any of that section of the plot, honestly, but the potential of that entire element is shot and left for dead in the water. Then the floating corpse gets up and starts walking around as part of a cog of the story.

Hulk’s most interesting plot point basically happened in another movie that doesn’t now, and probably won’t ever, exist, and considering what Infinity War put the guy through as a character, my writing senses are hurt and sad all over.

Then there’s Thor.

I think he might fit into the whole thing I will soon get into about character resolutions that hit the right emotional keys solidly enough that you forget they’re playing the wrong song.

Mostly he picks up the “hole” (wrongly perceived as something that needs to be filled) left by Hulk leaving the walking gag scene party. Drinking himself into oblivion and disregarding self-care in the aftermath of an immense trauma is one of the film’s chosen humor mainstays.

My impression is that I’m the only person in my tight corner of the internet who doesn’t really like Ragnarok because its silliness felt like it was trying too hard. It’s my favorite of the Thor movies, but a bunch of the humor didn’t feel natural to me. Better than Infinity War’s handling of Hulk, and better than Endgame’s handling of Thor, just not my favorite tone.

Endgame sort of takes that element, jacks it away from its surrounding strengths, and rolls out a keg for it to drown in.

When the movie remembers to empathize with Thor instead of mocking him, there are some great moments. But he draws one of the shortest straws of the movie.

And the character resolution is...

Good fuck this is why I had to say I liked the movie. Because when I actually sit down and think about my problems with it, the rest of my brain just lounges to the side in horror, wondering what could possibly have been entertaining if such elements were included.

The very beginnings of my problems with the movie is that they kill Thanos.

I think he’s dead ten minutes in.

Then they skip five years.

Five years.

Ooooh my everything.

Okay so like, you know how you start reading something, or watching something, and your head immediately takes note that oh, this must be a dream sequence. The couple in a romance is suddenly way too hot and steamy for where the story has them in their development, a random bomb goes off, the guy who destroyed half of all life in the universe because no one can stop him in the last movie is killed in the first ten minutes of the next--

There’s like.

A rhythm. There’s a rhythm to how stories work.

When that rhythm is disrupted, the audience is left with a tangible feeling of wtf. Either that feeling enhances the other quality stuff going on, or it enhances the other Quality stuff going on, if you catch my drift.

You step into a vacuum.

It’s great for recreating that sense of absence. The world is irrevocably changed. It’s emptier. The heroes are broken. Their revenge doesn’t fix anything. They just. continue to exist, with losses they aren’t equipped to handle.

FIVE YEARS OF IT.

I have probably a longer list of things I want stories involving time travel not to do than is perhaps healthy. But maybe stories involving time travel should keep their act together better or I don’t know.

Bad Future ends are not something I appreciate, because often, they go grimdark just because they can, because they know it’s not the final future, so anything goes. You don’t have to treat it like any reality that matters, because it isn’t permanent.

This story... I would say it toes the line there, but in ways that grate on me thoroughly enough that it presses all the same buttons.

Thanos can die in the first ten minutes, and it doesn’t matter. We know it doesn’t matter, because it happens in the first ten minutes. ...Maybe twenty, to be safe. It’s early. But you have this villain who’s built up to a ridiculous degree, bizarrely succeeds in living up to his own hype, then you kill him off so that a younger version of himself gets top billing in the final battle.

Why?

I get why as far as the story is designed, but at some point in the process, this story is designed by humans. Humans who could have stopped and asked themselves if they were really telling the best version of this story they possibly could.

Thanos is defeated while his blight remains. I love saying that. I love that I can describe a story with those words.

But the initial defeat is so unsatisfying and bereft of life. All the energy of him as an external force for our heroes to unite against is bled out early, and to get it back, they really do just ship in a younger model.

Which does make sense. Younger Thanos’ motives are fine and reasonable. Just, as far as the plot design, the whole presentation of the movie’s setting feels like a dream sequence. It feels, very early on, like this will never be allowed to be forever.

Then that feeling lasts for five years.

Getting into the time travel thing.

Time travel is really hard to get right in stories. You want to change something, but the people doing the changing are products of what they’ve lived through. How do you honor that while still fixing the unspeakable evil that happened? How do you change the world while keeping the threads that made us care alive and relevant?

One thing I very much like is that Tony fights to keep what he’s gained alive. Good. The volcanic soil grew him something irreplaceable, and it’s perfectly reasonable for him to want to hold on to that, and I’m glad he does.

But then you have the other half of the story, where no one is able to move on.

My preference for time travel correcting things is for characters to either be trying to change their own future that they have yet to live through, or for them to trying to fix something that is so recent the characters are still wrangling with it as a piece of their present. I have more than a touch of “humans should not mess with these things they don’t know what they’re doing,” past a certain point.

In case it weren’t obvious, five years is pretty far past that point for me. It hits this awful uncanny valley sweet spot of people wanting to change a reality that never should have been vs. people who are willing to fuck up the world because they can’t let go.

I like superheros. I like correcting injustices. Save all the people. I like people fighting tooth and nail to fix things set in stone because these are their people, dammit.

I also hate seeing people so stuck in the past they refuse to make a future.

This movie screams both of those elements so loudly that it’s hard for me to really piece out how I feel about the story in its entirety.

I like that they don’t simply hit an undo button, and do bring everyone back in a way that lets the future that has already happened continue.

But then there’s Steve and Nat and just... fuck, dude.

Gun to my head, I’m a happy person. If everyone could be alive at the end, that would be my preference, I don’t care if it’s cheesy. But you have the choice between Hawkeye and Black Widow. The man who’s lost his family, and the woman who’s lost purpose.

Or something. I don’t do MCU meta.

The sense I get from watching is that Natasha feels like her life works better as a sacrifice. If they succeed, she doesn’t have children and a wife waiting at home. So clearly it makes sense for her to be the one to die. Her road ends to bring back the happiness of others.

Which...

I don’t know how to articulate my problem with this without moving on to Steve first.

So let’s do that.

Steve.

Steve, whose story ends with him going back in time and staying there.

Forget about how the story criticizes every movie that does time travel better than it. Forget about all the levels of not caring went into designing the time travel elements. If possible.

I do not like how Steve’s story is essentially about how there’s only one time and place for him to experience a fulfilling life.

It is the nature of writing stories that we want to encapsulate things. The perfect moment. The perfect set of emotions. The perfect time. Everything falls into place, and that’s how we want it. We’ll never get it better than that. Keep retreading that dead horse, because it was so good.

Steve and Peggy are beautiful together.

What I hate about them ending up together is that... there’s this obvious, painful belief that the world of the future doesn’t have anything left for Steve. Bucky’s there. Sam’s there. Billions of people have just found there way back. Steve’s lived in this century for years.

Reclaiming the past is more important than building a future.

Even though the story’s driving plot is about keeping their past maintained so they can have this future. Or something.

Steve doesn’t have a future. Natasha doesn’t have a future. So the story removes them from it, and calls that a clean, happy (if bittersweet) ending. They’re pieces that don’t work in this world. Their chances are gone. They can live in the past or die.

I hate that. I’m a sap who will read a million stories about someone having a single true love they can’t be without and no one else could ever compare and blah and blah and blah, but that somehow feels different from watching a character’s life play out for years, and seeing them come to the conclusion that they can never belong in this place.

Building a new home never compared to the old one.

That’s depressing as fuck.

Thor gets a piece of this as well, becoming more of a knight errant than a king. After going to so much trouble to become his people’s king and just. Geez.

I don’t think that this is a thing the movie as a whole is really trying to encourage. I think the people working on it just had different visions for what would be cool as a sendoff and so on. Tony’s insistence that they don’t undo the five years they’ve had, and Nebula’s... everything--those aren’t elements of a story that says you can’t grow and find a new place. You don’t have to keep on repeating what you know and nothing else. You really don’t.

But that feels very twisted around for some of these characters’ personal journeys, and as happy as I am for Steve getting his dance with Peggy, the idea that this is a person whose true happiness could never be in the future...

That lingers in a way that I can’t like, and colors a lot of the other resolutions.

.

.

I really enjoyed the movie?

Yay?

Even though no one cared even a little at all even once except to attempt to drag other movies about time travel.

This movie’s time travel mechanics are terrible.

They’re just bad.

When you drop the titles of that many other things that have time travel.

And say this isn’t like that.

You should. you should hope. that your thing could at least make a convincing case for making more sense.

This does not succeed in that.

How could you watch enough of those movies to know they had time travel, yet fail to learn anything about how to write time travel. How. Why did you. why. Dragon Ball Z has more internally consistent time travel.

Three hours well spent. The hours on this, maybe less well.

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 11 - Candy Page 12

==>

Alright, looks like Jake and Jane had an active night and now Jake’s going to distance himself again.

Yeah you’re pretty afraid of closing this distance with Jane.  You REALLY don’t want it, do you?

JANE: Lighten up Jake! The election’s off! The economy is stable! Dirk is probably never going to talk to us ever again! And we just... we finally fucked. Hoo hoo hoo!

Okay seeing that “Hoo hoo hoo!” at the end of the sentence makes it really fucking uncomfortable somehow.

Something catches the corner of his eye, and he swivels his head around to see the Trickster Lollipop on his bedside table.

JANE I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO BE SUCH A SCUMBAG THIS TIME AROUND WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO????

far more sets of underwear than the number of people accounted for in the room.

Yeah that sounds about like what might happen with the lollipop thrown in.

Okay at least it was Jake’s idea??? that makes it... ALMOST... better... but not really..??

Oh God, and Jake just does the pushover thing and rolls with it only because he thinks he SHOULD, not because he wants to.  Fuck.

==>

Mhmm.  There’s always a thick sense that “what would Bro tell me to do” was thick in everything Dave did hanging over him like a shadow.  Interesting that here it manifests as that Meta voice he was using in Meat or whatever.

Is Dirk even going to be there, or has he fled entirely?

Gamzee, what the fuck are you doing.  Forceful character arc intervention?  Is that what you did with Roxy somehow?

...is Gamzee toying with the narrative now that Dirk has fled or something??

...okay there’s some author worship going on or some such?

Dave how do you even know who Pagliacci is.

Okay there’s the Rose bot, and an ominous note.  Suicide note? Self-Decapitation note, again?  Hm.

==>

Epilogue Three

Okay, that’s some startlingly abrupt pathmaking toward suicide.  I was warned that there was a vivid description of the leadup to suicide in Candy somewhere, so I’ll try to talk only lightly about it as I read.

Your legs feel impressively powerful as you begin to climb the staircase

Nice Meat callback at least.

A flip of the cosmic coin has rendered your entire life completely inessential. What could you accomplish in a dead-end existence like this? There are no stakes. No meaningful challenges. No structures or themes—only residual chemical reactions in a dying brain, a physical system’s obligate compulsion to exhaust its own lingering momentum. A cockroach with its head cut off, waiting to die of thirst.

Wow, yeah, you REALLY can’t stand living in a world where you don’t hold some sort of Light-y relevance, can you?  So much so that you were willing to steal Light away from the story entirely just to have more to carry with you in the flipside.  Is this supposed to sort of embody the comeuppance you didn’t get in the other half, the way you’re offing yourself here?  Weird.

Your friends might derive some sense of fulfillment from satisfying the elementary obligations of self-preservation and self-propagation, but there’s nothing here for you. It doesn’t matter anymore.

HOW ABOUT LIVING HAPPY LIVES AND NOT GETTING STUCK IN COMAS YOU ASSHOLE

Seriously, that whole Meat part, the... the four things I really couldn’t stand being left with were Jane’s fate, Jade’s situation, ROSE’s unenviable situation, and Dirk being allowed to escape without consequence.  Three of my favorite characters left on doomed paths or basically IN COMAS, constantly having their agency quashed by others or forced away from anything that could have corrected their disastrous path (Jane’s) by Dirk’s meddling.  A line being drawn in the sand that clearly stated CANON ENDS HERE, before any of them could wake up or stop FUCKING SUFFERING.  Jesus Christ.  I just wanted some loose ends tied up by this epilogue, I didn’t need the characters’ POSSIBLE HAPPINESS to be left unresolved with a likely “NO” as the answer??!???  THEY DIDN’T COME ALL THIS WAY AND SACRIFICE AND WIN FOR JUST THAT!  DIRK STOLE THE FUCKING ULTIMATE REWARD FROM THEM OUT OF NOWHERE!

*breathes*

FUCK.  So, yeah, on to seeing Dirk either die or get stopped by Dave somehow because he still needs him or whatever.

Ew, self-decapitation indeed.  You narcissistic fuck.

When you think so little of yourself as a moral character, any act of self-termination will result in a death that is Just.

Huh.  So that influences the way the clock judges you, hm?

==>

A damn funeral, huh.

He looks at Roxy, who is staring at the floor, rather beside herself in grief.

Oh thank goodness, a glimpse at her line to Gamz had me thinking she was in weird happy-stuck Candy mode still, that would have fucked this scene a bunch.

...IS Dave really more eloquent than you, though?

Dave’s long speech--

Oh my gosh I just realized during this speech how UTTERLY FUCKED of Andrew people must have thought this Dirk suicide section was if they chose Candy FIRST.  Jesus dick.

End of speech.  Jane, stop being so remarkably fucking composed.  Unless Dirk’s plans and machinations really hurt you as much as you let on when you expressed seemingly-mock excitement that you’d “never hear from him again”.

Fuck you Gamzee.

ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*

Thanks for coming to your senses Roxy, better late than never I guess.

Dave dips down so that their noses are bumping. Karkat’s eyes are so wide it’s amazing they don’t pop out. For a moment, it looks like they’re going to...

John sneezes.

Oh COME ON, John.  :(

JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.

Me after reading the Meat epilogue.

Huh, offering to undo the death.  That IS potentially a little bit insensitive, as obvious and necessary a question it is to ask, even if the answer is no.

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

Exactly.

A courtesy that Dirk, funny enough, wouldn’t have given anyone else.  The fucking prick.

--Yep, they’re too far outside of canon for his retcon powers to work anymore.  Rose told him on the last day he could.

Roxy what the hell are you doing.

ROXY: we should get hitched

No, you should ANSWER WHY YOU LEFT CALLIOPE HANGING and THEN decide LIKE ADULTS to do whatever you all feel like doing.  This isn’t legitimate if you’re HIDING most of the situation in Voidy shadow!  If you really DO want this, then do it properly and HONESTLY!!!!

JOHN: you... JOHN: LOVE me?? ROXY: yea john i love you ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um. JOHN: that’s a LOT.

Yeah, this isn’t how it should go.  WOULD go.  Something’s seriously wrong with Roxy right now and I hope John figures out how to bring them to the forefront so they can come to an honest decision.

Just a few weeks ago, Roxy was happy with Calliope, and now she wants to have his babies? John feels like he’s missing something important here, like he went for a bathroom break during the part of the movie where the plot twist happens.

Exactly.  And you haven’t even had time to process how you feel about HER again.  If something’s off, make it NOT off before you say yes.

Roxy practically attacks John’s mouth, she’s so excited. John shuts his eyes and kisses her back, still giddy and laughing against her lips. She kisses him until they’re both breathless, then pulls back so that she can gaze at him with glittering eyes.

ROXY: omg ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

Yyyyeah, THAT was ominous.  Someone’s definitely fucking with this situation behind the scenes.  ...Maybe Roxy’s been hitting the Lollipop too when the camera’s away from her?

==>

Dammit, we skipped to the wedding without resolving ANY of their fucking issues first.  This is bad.

--oh my god we skipped to months PAST the wedding too.

JOHN: jane and jake are kinda, um, together now. TEREZI: OH GOD JOHN: and she basically ordered jake to catch the bouquet “or else.” JOHN: i was seriously afraid for him. and then he didn’t even catch it!

Jane.  Jane, come the fuck on.

Can’t we get ONE TIMELINE where Jane doesn’t end up terrible????  D:

JOHN: yeah. they’re all dating. JOHN: or rather... jade is dating them both. JOHN: dave and karkat haven’t... exactly figured things out yet. JOHN: and as much as i love jade, i don’t actually think she’s helped matters by putting herself in the middle of it. TEREZI: HMM >:[ TEREZI: SOM3HOW TH4T DO3SNT S33M R1GHT JOHN: i know.

Jade, you can’t force these things!!!

Can’t we get ONE TIMELINE where Jade doesn’t end up unhappy???? D:

JOHN: now i have to pretend to laugh and think it’s funny when she makes jokes about being the next to “tie the knot.” TEREZI: WOW D1D SH3 R34LLY GO FOR TH4T DOUBL3 3NT3NDR3 JOHN: what? TEREZI: WH4T JOHN: what do you mean? TEREZI: N3V3R M1ND

Jegus Christ.  Terezi, WHY did you have to go there.  I’ve seen enough nsfw RP to know exactly the fuckery you’re alluding to with Jade, NO.

JOHN: things’ll probably work out with those three anyway. things always work out between old friends. JOHN: we’ve all known each other for too long for anything to cause a permanent rift.

Fucking allusions to the Meat section...  D:

...okay, babies time.  There are babies.  Or at least one Roxy pregnancy and that earlier Vriskgrub.

TEREZI: 1T JUST S33MS... K1ND4 F4ST

YES, YES IT DOES.

TEREZI: 1 4LR34DY H34RD 4BOUT HOW J4N3 1S D4T1NG BOTH J4K3 *4ND* G4MZ33 4ND UNFORTUN4T3LY 1 DO B3L13V3 1T

What the FUCK is going on.  Who’s manipulating everyone.  Gamzee maybe??

TEREZI: H4H4H4 1 HOP3 YOU H4V3NT S33N TH3 P1CTUR3 D4V3 TOOK JOHN: dave has a picture?! JOHN: wait, never mind. i don’t want to know, and i definitely don’t want to see it.

Yeah that’s a cursed image if I ever heard of one

JOHN: so, what did you think, talking to dave and karkat? JOHN: did they seem... happy? TEREZI: NOP3 JOHN: oh my god, i KNOW, right? JOHN: the whole thing is such a mess, it’s hard to be in the same room with them these days. JOHN: i don’t even know the full story because dave won’t talk to me about it anymore, and jade seems to think that everything’s going just fine.

Dammit Jade, you forced your way in too early!!!  D:

And why can’t Andrew at least PRETEND to give us a slight, fishing-line-thin possibility that Jade might POSSIBLY have any sort of chance at an endgame workable romance with ANY OF HER GOSH DARN FRIENDS AT ALL???????

>:(

I just want Jade to be happy okay jegus

TEREZI: 4 TRU3 K1SM3S1S 1S JUST 4S MUCH YOUR L1F3 P4RTN3R 4S YOUR M4T3SPR1T 1S

Interesting quadrant talk

TEREZI: TH3 PO1NT OF 4 K1SM3S1S 1S NOT JUST TO M4K3 YOU 4NNOY3D OR 3V3N 4NGRY TEREZI: TH3Y SHOULD PUSH YOU TO B3TT3R YOURS3LF TEREZI: TH3Y SHOULD SH1N3 4 L1GHT ON TH1NGS 4BOUT YOURS3LF YOU WOULD OTH3RW1S3 1GNOR3 OR D3NY

EXACTLY.  I’ve been saying that about good black relationships for years.  And Jade’s plowing in and fucking things up without really making things ANY better AT ALL for anyone but herself, and only temporarily and in her own head at that.  :(

TEREZI: 1F 1 W3R3 3V3R TO DO BL4CKROM 4G41N, 1T WOULD H4V3 TO B3 LOW K3Y

Yeah, really pushing at what happens in Meat and stuff.

I love Terezi’s text-emote faces.

==>

Page 17... Someone told me to watch out for “Candy 18″ without any elaboration or context, so maybe I’ll split the post after this page so I can get to that one fresh? Hm!

My stomach is down to a low anxious simmer, so that’s good compared to before.  Maybe reading this whole Candy thing isn’t going to be so bad.  I can’t believe I’m not even halfway through.

He’s not sure why he feels the need to hide the fact that he’s talking to her.

Dammit, John.

It should be a beautiful image, but something about it roils John’s gut.

???

Is he catching on to some weird manipulation going on behind the scenes with his own metatextual awareness or?

Yep, Harry Anderson, heh.

He was. What’s bugging him about it is that Roxy didn’t seem to have any suggestions of her own.

YEAH THAT’S A HUGE GODDAMN RED FLAG RIGHT THERE.  WHAT IS HAPPENING TO EVERYONE.

...Oh, huh.  Now John’s having a bit of panic about how everyone suddenly feels like things are completely resolved with Lord English when they aren’t.  And how Rose seems almost HYPNOTIZED into not worrying about it, along with many of the rest of them.

The three gals in the room exchange a series of concerned glances. Do they truly think he’s crazy? Are they hiding something from him? John can feel himself trembling. It’s not possible that he’s remembering this wrong, is it? It can’t be. If he presses his eyes shut, he can still see the lines of the black hole cracking space apart around him. It seemed like such a big deal at the time, and then suddenly it felt like nothing at all. Why?

Are they, though?  Do they know they’re in a split timeline of sorts, or...?

You’re the ones not doing okay, he nearly shouts, but then realizes it’s just going to make him sound crazier than he already looks.

Yeah this is all cracking at the seams.

ROXY: oh of course that makes sense

ROXY YOU’RE NOT THIS BRAINLESS WAKE THE FUCK UP

Hm, looks like John’s not as comfortable on the placid planet as he is with someone giving him SOME sort of broader purpose.  A lot like Dirk, but LESS FUCKED.

JOHN: i’ve got a beautiful wife who loves me, but it’s not enough. i can’t even talk to her about what we’re going to name our stupid kid without it turning into some weird thing where she just goes along with whatever i want. JOHN: even when all i want is for her to want something different than what i want!!!

It’s like Steven stuck in Rose’s Room with that Connie clone, SU-ways.

Alright, clicking the next button and starting page 18 in the next post.

[killian-whump]

OUAT 2x14: Rewatch Blog

Hey everybody! Here I am, once again, with a liveblog post for a Once Upon a Time episode! This one’s called “Manhattan” - which strangely enough, I had to look up to make sure of, because I could’ve sworn that 2x15 was the one called “Manhattan”, but when pressed to remember what 2x14′s name was... I could only come up “Also Manhattan...?” which seemed wrong.

Anyway! Let’s settle in and watch Manhattan Part 1...

Hmmm.  Okay, so Rumple’s all “I wanna fight!” and Milah’s like “Oh, no, the war” and this just seems weird to me, all of it. I’m making that Fry face at my screen right now. Not sure if full of shit or full of shit...

Emma asking, “Is this the right place?” AND HE SAID YES. Like, how does he know?! That globe was a hell of a lot more useful here than it was in Neverland. Or did they just toss the globe overboard when they went through the portal? “Welp, we don’t need this plot device anymore.”

Hahaha, Emma. “Well, who doesn’t love a surprise?” Should I start the list, or is someone else gonna do it? Rumple’s face is hilarious. He looks like he’s thinking, “Me, actually. I don’t like a surprise...”

That’s a really boring title card, Once. Really boring.

“Back? From where?” OH MY BABY. Incidentally, I forget he’s in this scene every single time I see this scene, and then I hear his voice and I’m like “OH, MY BABY” like, you know, what literally just happened 2 sentences ago.

Aww... You vengeance-hopped-up bondage bunny, listen to your Dommes and be a good boy <3

CHASE SCENE, IT’S A CHASE SCENE

RUN, EMMA, RUN

CRASH!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH PLOT TWIST

I always did like that plot twist. One of the better ones, I thought.

“I am the only one allowed to be angry here!” Yeah, you tell him, Emma.

This face is great:

Kinda sums up the entire scene, doesn’t it?

I love the subtle AND COMPLETELY OBVIOUS change in Gold and Henry’s interactions now that the audience is thinking, “Oh, wait... If his dad is... and his son is... OH MY GOD.” A gentle approach as always, show.

WHY WOULD HE NEED AN ENTIRE TYPEWRITER IN A FANCY WOODEN BOX WITH A SINGLE SHEET OF PAPER THAT SAYS “I KNOW YOU’RE BAELFIRE” ON IT? HOW FUCKING EXTRA CAN YOU BE?!

Pictured Above: THE LITERAL HEIGHT OF FUCKING EXTRANESS

“...because Pinocchio told you to?!?!” One of the best lines ever XD

Oh, come on, Neal. Man up for once and just talk to your father. Geez.

Like, I know he’s pissed that his dad didn’t follow him into the portal, but all of this hiding and nonsense? Acting like he’s terrified of the man? Like, did I miss the part where Rumple EVER presented an actual threat to Baelfire? Because I don’t remember that. Honestly, if I’m forgetting something from S1 where Rumple threatened or harmed his son, someone please remind me. Shitty dad? Sure. Dropped the ball? Definitely. Worth running and hiding from for fucking centuries? You’re a goddamn pansy, Neal.

“Rumplestiltskin...” Oh, that’s not a creepy voice at all.

Oh, that’s not a creepy girl at all.

Oh, that wasn’t a creepy scene at all.

Can I go home now?

“The truth about your parents - Emma, you of all people should know how important that is.” Umm... yeah. That’s a really good point.

“Are you sure this is about protecting Henry... and not yourself?” Aw, Snow... Such good advice in this phone call. Also, nice sweater. Very soft.

Ahhh... And good acting by Jen in here, too.

AW, GEEZ, EMMA, SNOW JUST GAVE YOU SOME GREAT ADVICE AND NOW YOU’RE JUST GONNA IGNORE IT ALL. GOSH DARN IT.

Oh, look. It’s the mild-mannered mayor here to visit the amnesia-stricken woman in the hospital. There’s no way this could go badly!

Umm... Regina, I love you and I love your magical ways, but you could’ve just, like, rifled through her purse. “Magic always comes with a price” but apparently not if you just want to wave some objects through the air instead of, like, reaching in and moving shit around like a normal person. That shit’s free.

Like, there is just no reason for this. It’s pointless. It’s weird.

Library scene. One of my favorites :D Well, not this one. The next one.

Hahaha, this “touching” mother daughter moment is so weird and dysfunctional and borderline creepy. I love it.

Seriously, Hook, you’re so fucking impatient. Just cool your heels, bro.

Hey, Gold, here’s an idea. Maybe when you’re hiding your dagger somewhere, and your arch nemesis is a pirate, maybe don’t leave a pirate map to where it’s hidden for that pirate to find and follow. I mean, you might as well have left it in a toolbox in the garden she- Nevermind. Let’s not talk about this.

Emma: Don’t do this. There are things called laws. Henry: I’ll be lookout. :D

“I don’t think he’s listening.” Henry is brilliant in this episode.

YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, NEAL. You finally manned up. Must've found some balls in the alley and tried ‘em on for size.

Aw, geez. I’m just... Wow. I really shouldn’t say anything about this whole scene, but... Yeah. Wow. I honestly can’t like Milah after some of the stuff she says in this scene. Sorry, guys. Like, she is literally telling her husband and the father of her child that the kid would’ve been better off if he was dead - and not just once, but, like... It’s like she’s engaging in a single-person competition to see who can find as many different ways as possible to say the same terrible thing over and over again, and it somehow manages to sound worse every time.

AHHHHH HIGH DRAMA!!!

I really do like everything about this scene with Emma and Neal and Gold and Henry and everyone trying to figure things out and/or hide things and/or... Oops, now it’s all out in the open and we’re all a big happy family fucked.

Ugh. Now it’s Greg. I really, really don’t care about Greg. At all.

Regina, goddammit, I told you to just rifle through that purse like a normal person. SEE what happens when you don’t listen to me?!

Actually, I totally forgot about this moment entirely, and now I’m laughing... Leave it to the show to put a “Why the fuck would you do this in this way?” moment into the show... that turns into a convoluted plot twist.

Son, I am disappoint totally not surprised, actually.

That map really DOES look like a child’s scribbles, though.

HOOK, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO DO WITH THAT... keyring? scissors? dohickey? I don’t know. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, it’s time for one of my favorite things ever!!!!

SUPER CASUAL VIOLENCE!!!

They’re both just so... so casual... and so flippant... and so... oh gosh, hahaha. He’s all upset and angry and foaming at the mouth, and Cora’s just like ~fling~! and LOOK AT THAT FUCKER FLY The violence is so ultra super casual and amazing, hahaha. And then they just walk off like Mean Girls: Storybrooke Edition and I fucking love them and I’d better rewind and watch it again. Hold on a second, guys.

ARE THOSE FUCKING TONGS, THOUGH?! why?

The books falling over like dominoes, haha, they always make me laugh. Better rewind again. I love this shit so much.

Old-fashioned compass, I guess? Some kind of... dohickey? I’m gonna go with dohickey, guys. I mean, it looks like a dohickey to me. Still, like, dafuq you think you’re going to do with that dohickey against two ladies with magic, boo? You adorable fucking idiot. IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A SHARP EDGE.

WHOOP, THERE HE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES

See, there. Bae had no fucking reason to be running and hiding from Rumple for fucking centuries. He just handled him just fine right there. 

“Or what you did to me.” Valid point, Emma. Well made and- ARE YOU FUCKING LAUGHING, YOU LITTLE SHIT?!? Where’d that fucking dohickey go?! YOU ARE SO GETTING RUBBED, YOUNG MAN.

Well, what do you know? The seer who said the future was hard to discern clearly has now given you her powers... AND YOU’VE LEARNED THAT THE FUTURE IS HARD TO DISCERN CLEARLY. Shocked. I am shocked.

PLOT TWIST. The boy will be his undoing!!! Except... umm... I mean... he kinda never was, though? So, I mean, I don’t... uh...

Aw, fuck it. Let’s rewind and watch the super casual violence again.

WHEEEEEEEEE LOOKIT HIM FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

[lovelysilence14]

My Review of Infinity War *Spoilers!*

So, I just saw Infinity War a few hours ago and I will admit... I ended up seeing some spoilers of it beforehand. -_- Yes, I know. But while I knew them... God, I was NOT expecting my emotional reaction to still be like someone took a freaking sledgehammer to my gut! Note: LONG RANT!!! I have A LOT to say about this movie!!!

This was me leaving the theater.

Oh my god, they’re all dead! My babies - my favorite heroes are DEAD!!! That painful and just about emotionally traumatic ending, did they want to rip my spine out along with my heart too while they were at it? I knew some of the deaths before hand - thank you internet - and yet it still socked me in my heart anyway.

My main heartache is for my precious Scarlet Witch and Vision. My OTP now tragic OTP is DEAD. That one stabbed me in my stomach the most hard. Which is why I am leaving my LONG lament on that at the bottom. My two laments first are going to be about the romantic relationship of Peter and Gamora and the father/son relationship pf Peter Parker and Tony.

For now anyway, since those ones really hit me like a sucker punch. Now, let’s get to it!

PETER AND GAMORA

His reaction to Gamora’s forced leaving with Thanos and death made my heart ache for him. Okay, one half of my heart. The other half was going “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?” since his blind rage of grief cost the team the one near successful chance at getting the gauntlet.

But, to be fair, she was the one - the ONE - woman he came to ever truly love. He was implied to be quite promiscuous before falling for Gamora. In GOTG part 2, he made an active effort to prove to her he had changed and wanted a real relationship with her. Then, after working for her to give him that chance, spends four years together with her happy and actually IN LOVE. Not brief infatuation and a casual and meaningless fling. He actually grew to sincerely love and care for her like a soulmate. Hell, he probably did see her as the one woman in the literal galaxy meant for him. She wasn’t one of his meaningless flings - he actually LOVED her. Which added to why hearing of her death hit him so hard that he carelessly allowed those grief stricken and outraged emotions cloud his better judgement. He just lost the one woman he ever fell in love with.

And after losing his mother to a needless death done by another man’s sick and selfish convenience to gain murderous power... yes, emotionally, I get it. But the logical part of my head still wants to smack him. Just a tad anyway.  

PETER PARKER AND TONY STARK

I did NOT expect his death WHATSOEVER. Maybe a dramatic wounding by Thanos, but outright DEATH? And in Tony’s arms on top of it. I was expecting to see Tony maybe die in front of Peter and hear him say how he can’t lose another father figure. Not again. Instead it turns itself COMPLETELY AROUND of our fan theory. In the beginning, we hear Tony talk about how he wants children with Pepper and wants to be a dad. I think these emotions came on during his time with Peter and establishing that father/son relationship with him and getting that glimpse of fatherhood.

(In Homecoming, we flatly hear Tony’s implied feelings of seeing Peter as a surrogate son when talking about how his father never really encouraged him and he wants to “break the cycle” by encouraging Peter in the way his dad never did.)

I will admit though, I did love their bickering on the spaceship with Tony scolding Peter for stowing away when he specifically told him to go back home.

Peter: “Really, this is your fault!”

Tony gives him a flat look

Peter: “Okay, NOT WHAT I MEANT!” Lol :D

But god, Peter’s death scene. Once again, we are cruelly reminded that despite Peter’s adult sized gifts, he is still just a kid. When telling Tony he didn’t feel good and Tony just wanting to assure him he is okay, even though they both know he isn’t. Then just crying and CLUTCHING to Tony and begging that he didn’t want to die and reminding us with a solid punch to our chests that he is still just a kid. And as he dies in his surrogate dad’s arms, who is trying to calm him down, he tells him he’s sorry for failing him.

And POOF... he’s literally just gone! And Tony just sitting there in shocked grief at losing the young boy he grew to see as his own KID and left simply hold his hand to his face that is smeared in Peter’s ashes. Biologically or not, emotionally, Peter WAS his kid. And that’s the type of pain that hurts the most in the world. And he just lost him and you know he feels responsible for it. And when Peter said sorry for failing him, I wanted to go, “But you didn’t fail him, Peter! You did your best to save the world! That’s the best ANY Avenger would do!” And he never got to know Tony was certainly NOT disappointed in him.

He died feeling like a failure and letdown for Tony.

We better see Tony have SOME sort of brief mental break down at this. You can’t have Tony grow to see Peter as his own son and not have even a brief scene of paternal grief and heartache. Not something OVERLY dramatic, but just a brief yet significant scene that shows Tony genuinely FELT Peter’s loss. My brother and I were even wondering if maybe in I.W Part 2 Tony might give his life to bring back Peter.

God, my heart cannot even handle that THOUGHT right now!

Now time for my BIGGEST heartbreak!

SCARLET WITCH AND VISION

Oh my god. I was so hoping that Vision would somehow get out of the fatal situation with his Mind Stone, but I guess that was an obvious tragic scene happening no matter what we wanted for him and Wanda. But it still RIPPED MY HEART OUT to see him and Wanda not get the happy ending they so RIGHTFULLY DESERVE!!!! God, that lip quiver though as she is forced to accept that she has to kill Vision no matter what she wants. I felt a sting in my chest just thinking about it.

She wanted nothing more than to save the one person she had left in the world that she cared about more than anything, even her own life. Only to be forced to kill Vision to save the literal universe and then being forced to see him brought back and slaughtered in a literal matter of SECONDS regardless of the mental hell she just put herself through?

SHE KILLED HER TRUE LOVE FOR NOTHING!!! And on top of it, the very last thing she heard him say as she is mournfully killing him is “I love you” the literal moment before she sees and likely FEELS him die. Can’t the MCU writers give this traumatized girl a freaking BREAK already?

Seeing Vision fall in love with Wanda was the most happiness I got out of the movie. Their early moments when spending a private and secret life together as a would-be normal couple had me squealing on the inside. Him fumbling around in his wording to describe his true feelings for Wanda had me grinning. It was just so cute! Paul Bettany and Elizabeth Olsen truly have GREAT chemistry! And Vision actually offering to run off and for them to try to be an official couple like normal people? Just run away from it all. God, I so wish we could have seen that! They deserved that life! Seeing that love they grew to have for each other made me fangirl and seeing their hearts break for each other just broke my own heart in two. :(

To think, a lot of people said that with Vision being an android, he couldn’t feel any emotion. No human level connections. Yet he spent the whole movie holding and kissing Wanda’s hand to show his love in the most basic physical form and only thinking of her personal safety even if it cost him his own. He just about begged her to kill him to save herself and everyone. And as she is killing him and flat out sobbing as she is doing it, his last and final words to her are “I love you”. Even though I just wish we saw her say it back, we at least know she was without a doubt thinking it. Maybe she sent that message through the Mind Stone as a final thought just before his tragic demise?

Seeing Wanda easily accept her death just about made my heart pinch. She lost her parents, her home village, her brother, the little bit of a family she had with the Avengers, then not only lose the man she fell in love with, but to actually be the one forced to kill him herself. Only for that trauma and pain to be in vain when Thanos undoes her execution and gets what he wanted from Vision anyway. She probably figured this was the only way for her to get her happiness and eternal peace. She was emotionally done with the never ending pain life had dealt onto her and wanted that peace she longed for once and for all. She was happy to finally just die and maybe even imagined being reunited with Vision and her brother and parents in death. She was finally getting all of that.

As I read in another posting, Wanda’s heart broke when she felt her brother and only person she had left in the world she loved die. Feeling and actually being the one to kill the man she fell in love with, again, the only person she had left in the world she dearly loved - even though she was forced and left no choice - was the moment of loss that broke her soul. When it was done, she couldn’t even get back up when knocked onto the ground in the explosion when Vision and his Mind Stone were killed. Even with Thanos himself literally right next to her and possibly even about to kill her, she literally could only just lie there on the ground, crying in heartbroken grief and defeat. Which is why when Thanos said he understood her pain, Wanda truly meant it when she said that he didn’t know the true depth of her pain.

After that, she was just DONE. And I can’t say that I blame her. She literally lost EVERYONE and everything she ever loved. :(  

God, SCARLET WITCH AND VISION BETTER GET THEIR HAPPY ENDING OR I SWEAR TO GOD I am NEVER paying money to see another MCU movie AGAIN!!! JUST TRY ME MCU WRITERS! YOU GUYS WANT MY MONEY?

GIVE THESE TWO A HAPPY ENDING!!! They deserve it, damn it! Hell WE the FANS deserve it! Our hearts have been royally ripped out along with poor Wanda’s!

MY HEART IS STILL RAW IN GRIEF! And it’s only been a few hours.

I have hope Vision and Wanda will be brought back. They are probably the most popular OTP ship in the MCU universe right now. God, I hope these two get their happy ending. Give us our Scarlet Vision happy ending!

WELL...

I think that’s it for my rant. For now. On a side note, thank GOD they didn’t do anything with the god awful Bruce and Natasha ship. I personally still cannot STAND that coupling. Thank god it was only a “Hi, nice to see you again” and left at that. THANK you for killing that and PLEASE just end that awful ship while you’re at it. PLEASE.

Just please cool our torn Scarlet Vision and Starmora hearts and give our characters a happy ending please? Pretty please?

[recentanimenews]

CR Features Argues About Anime of the Year!

Anime Awards voting end on Friday! We've been super pumped because of the community's reactions to the nominees. However we have gotten so loud with our individual opinions on who we think should win that we’ve been told to duke it out via written words instead of continually disrupting our coworkers (sorry fam).

  We've hit every category in the Anime Awards and this is the last installment in our argumentative saga. So we're gonna  get down to the nitty gritty of Best Film, Best Director, and finally ANIME OF THE YEAR. Let’s down to business!

Best Film

My Hero Academia: Two Heroes

This is admittedly the area where I feel least qualified to deliver a prediction, but I nonetheless feel very confident. Just based on box office it’s likely the one everyone has seen, so… Anyway, My Hero nailed its theatrical debut with an original story that felt plausible and made great use of the existing characters. All Might literally flexing on the villain is one of the greatest moments from the entire series only made possible by this film.

-Peter Fobian

The Night is Short, Walk On Girl

When I think of what constitutes an amazing film, I like to think of how the overall package leaves me feeling after I watch the whole thing. I usually want a film to leave me wanting more, but satisfied with the story I’ve been told, and for anime films, I want to see amazing, crisp visual storytelling tied to great voice acting and musical packages. For 2018, no film really left me feeling that way other than The Night is Short, Walk On Girl. The musical number alone was worth checking out the film for, and the movie also captured a lot of that joy of life style of film that usually gets talked about for college and early adulthood films.

-Nicole Mejias

My Hero Academia: Two Heroes

Before My Hero Academia: Two Heroes, I’d never been in a theater for an anime film that had such an excited audience. Usually there’s this reserved feeling of “Okay, we got this far. We’re seeing anime at an actual theater and if we play it cool, maybe this will happen again.” But thanks to the popularity of My Hero Academia and the growing appreciation for anime in America and I was faced with an audience that treated My Hero Academia: Two Heroes like a WWE show. There was so much cheering and love and when I left, I was just so happy to be an anime fan.

-Daniel Dockery

Liz and the Blue Bird

There isn’t any dialog for about the first ten minutes of Liz and the Blue Bird. It opens with one of the main characters’ footsteps ringing out into the air, and then a piano melody begins playing to the beat tapped out by her shoes. The music and imagery play off of one another in a way I’ve literally never seen in a movie before. It was so beautiful that the majority of the audience I saw it with was in tears LITERALLY BEFORE ANY CHARACTER SAID ANYTHING. This is truly the best possible movie Sound! Euphonium could have received. It’s one of the best anime experiences I’ve ever had, and I love it a lot.

-Cayla Coats

Best Director

Tatsuya Yoshihara for Black Clover

If a director is the champion of a production, I can’t think of anyone more deserving than Tatsuya Yoshihara. He’s gone above and beyond to make Black Clover a success and it’s really shone. Just following him on Twitter, you can see he lives this series and his extracurricular efforts to elevate the production are well known. His bringing in animators of all types and levels of experience to deliver the surreal experience of episode 63 is something I hope to see more regularly from Black Clover in the future.

-Peter Fobian

  Masaaki Yuasa for Devilman Crybaby

  Devilman Crybaby left me a blubbering mess by the end of it, and I hated Masaaki Yuasa for it. My only real exposure to Devilman came when I was younger and watching old VHS tapes of anime, and back then I just saw Devilman as this dark and action filled story; in Devilman Crybaby, Yuasa certainly didn’t shy away from those aspects, but he found a way to make the story even more tragic as the ending drew near. The blending of Science Saru’s visual style with Go Nagai’s manga, topped with the amazing soundtrack, is a package that could only really be created by someone with a keen eye.

-Nicole Mejias

  Akira Amemiya for SSSS. Gridman

  I’ve spent a ton of time over the last few months spreading the good word about SSSS. Gridman, but as my turn in the awards season comes to a close, I feel like I should give it one more parting compliment: The director, Akira Amemiya is awesome. Coming off of Inferno Cop and Kill la Kill, I think SSSS. Gridman, due to its subject matter, might be his best work yet. Even relatively static scenes between characters crackle with energy, and the battles are usually spectacular.

-Daniel Dockery

Norihiro Naganuma for The Ancient Magus’ Bride

How do you heal from something that has broken you completely? The Ancient Magus’ Bride seeks to answer that question. Chise’s journey to learn magic and undo the traumas of her past could have come off as tone deaf or emotionally exploitative in the wrong hands, but Naganuma’s earnest depiction of her struggles elevated this show into one of the most emotionally engaging anime I’ve ever seen. How do you heal from something that has broken you completely? Use your pain to connect to others.

-Cayla Coats

Anime of the Year

A Place Further Than the Universe

  A Place Further is an amazing production delivering one of the greatest and most original stories I’ve seen in years. From having zero source material and playing with the idea of a story about girl psychics, the staff somehow pulled together an airtight and thoroughly researched story with fantastic moments and intriguing character subplots. It was excellently paced, affirming, and I honestly can’t think of a single thing they could have done to improve it.

-Peter Fobian

  Hinamatsuri

This category was pretty tough to choose from, and in the end, I chose the brilliant Hinamatsuri. I went into this series knowing absolutely nothing other than it was a comedy. But underneath the comedy, the real strength of Hinamatsuri emerged as a story about people with real problems looking for connections. Despite Hina being a selfish brat, she’s also relatable, Nitta is somehow one of the best anime dads in memory, and I really had a hard time not crying at Anzu’s story of finding a family, losing them, and finding a new one. I loved Hinamatsuri from beginning to end, and can only hope that we may get another season of it!

-Nicole Mejias

  Devilman Crybaby

I haven’t talked a lot about Devilman Crybaby because 1) Everyone has been talking about Devilman Crybaby, and 2) I didn’t watch it until late in the year, and I didn’t want to be the guy to burst, Kool Aid Man-style, into conversations about Fall Anime and say “BUT DID YOU GUYS SEE DEVILMAN CRYBABY? HEY. HOLD ON. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” I didn’t really get into anime until college, which means I missed the age where I would watch a Dragon Ball Z or a Berserk or anything else and think that it’s insanely, unflappably, almost perfectly rad. But watching Devilman Crybaby, I think, gave me the closest thing to that. This sense of “Oh, man. Anime really is the coolest thing in the world. Also, I need a Mountain Dew.”

-Daniel Dockery

A Place Further Than the Universe

This wasn’t the most visually beautiful anime of the year. It didn’t have the best music, the best character designs, or the best dialog. But Shirase’s journey to find her mother in a far off land transformed these parts into a truly amazing whole. Shirase, Mari, Hinata, and Yuzuki all feel like completely realized people and their journey to Antarctica is one of the finest examples of how anime can tell stories like no other medium can.

-Cayla Coats

Woo! So we hit every category, had a lot of fun writing this up, and have exhausted our physical and written voices concerning who we think should win for now. We can't wait to see who wins! 

  If you haven't voted for Anime Awards, you still have time! Voting ends this Friday and the place to see all of the nominees for every category and vote for your favorites is right here! 

  Who do you think should win: Best Film, Best Director, and Anime of the Year? Tell us in the comments below!

Ricky Soberano is a Features Editor, Script Writer, and Editorial Programming Coordinator for Crunchyroll. She’s the former Managing Editor of Brooklyn Magazine. You can follow her on Twitter @ramenslayricky.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com