#maybe my brain is just fucking with me today but we'll see

[georgieluz]

saw photos of callum turner from the boys in the boat and he's finally done it.. i think i'm attracted to him

[burningcomputerpersona]

local enby shocked to realize that taking their prescribed medication actually works and they can do stuff now

[orcelito]

Bro my apartment people Did send a message and I hadn't noticed it bc I was too focused on the one they sent after about the lease renewal 😭😭😭 so not only is my apartment a mess but I also was fully told they were coming. I just didn't notice it bc I have Shit Brain Disease!!! Funnily enough, it's the thing I'm supposed to be getting medication for, but! Guess I can't get it just yet!!!!!!!

[defiant-firefly]

You know those ADHD posts that go around where their brain runs a million miles an hour and when they take their meds the Ra Ra Rasputin song starts fading into the distance as they kick in so they can focus?

The meds are turning me into these people before their meds. Weirdly.

[pyramid-of-starrs]

Stretch you out

Pairing: Gym Trainer Yeosang x gn!reader

Word count: 1.4K

Warning: Unprotected sex (make sure you are safe besties), vaginal sex, dry humping kinda??, sub reader, kinda pwp

A/N: I honest can just see Yeo being a gym trainer that you tell your friends you wanna fuck tbh lol. It's just something short and fun to give yall!

"C'mon, you can do it, a little more for me."

"Ahh~ please no more Yeo, you're gonna break me." You said between your battered moaning.

"No I'm not, you can handle it." he giggled as he watched you struggle. Two things were going on right now that caused you to struggle at this moment.

Number one, Yeosang, your unforgiving trainer decided to call you out on your excuses today. You always quit the routines he would give you mid-way saying your body felt tight and that you forgot to stretch at home. Him being a sweetheart he didn't want to overwork you and risk you pulling something so he always let you bail out, however today he offered to help stretch you out and wouldn't take no for an answer. You arrived at his gym prepared to be worked out to high hell today, thank god you got private sessions so no one else would be there to watch you suffer. At first, the stretching was pretty standard and not that bad, you actually felt your body loosening up, he then instructed you to lay on your back so he could stretch your legs, thighs, and glutes. Your heart raced a bit thinking about your sexy and buff trainer gripping your legs and ass but you refrained from thinking too much about it to keep a professional vibe. Feeling Yeosang palm your ass like a basketball made you feel hot inside and you couldn't help but let out small "Fuck"s and whimpers as he shifted your legs in various positions

The thought of him flipping you around with ease while he fucked you turned you on so much, maybe too much because you started to feel your pussy tingle as it got wetter the more he touched you. You looked down to see Yeo sweating from moving you around, the sweat made those huge biceps of his glisten and of course, he chose to wear a sleeveless Nike compression shirt today and his broad chest looked huge, you could feel the room spinning but you kept your composure. It was all swell until he gripped both your ankles and folded your legs to your shoulders.

"Ahhh, fuck." your eyes got wide at your sudden outburst.

"Feels good to be getting stretched out like this huh? See what happens when you prep properly!" He said with an eager smile, he was so sweet and oblivious he didn't realize he was just egging on your fantasy of letting your trainer fuck you good into the gym floor mats.

"Y-yeah." you said as your brain got foggy. Yeosang stretched your legs even more, bringing your ankles to your ears as he leaned his body against you.

This is where your second problem came in, while he was pressing his body against you you started to feel something else press against your core. That's when you realized, Yeosang definitely free balls in his gym clothes because his dick was hard as a pipe pressing against your already needy pussy. Seems like someone else is also enjoying this session a bit too much, but you knew Yeosang would never make a move on you, he was too polite, so now you're stuck with his unhelpful banter and hard dick.

"You're doing such a good job, just a little longer Y/N and we'll be done."

You couldn't help the sounds falling from your mouth as he praised you, you couldn't take it anymore, this was the most torturous version of edging you could think of.

"Y-yeo please, please." you said in a hoarse voice, he tried to get closer which only brushed his length more into your walls.

"What was that? I can't hear you, speak up." he said, no fucking way he doesn't know what he's doing.

"Oh my fucking God Yeo please you're going to kill me."

"You can take it, I know you can." he said, oh yeah he knew exactly what he was doing, he just needed you to give him the green light at this point, he just wanted to hear you say you needed him so he could fuck you senseless right then and there. He pushed on your legs even more, his dick sandwiching between your soaking wet walls as it pressed against your needy clit, you yelled out even more moans, you couldn't hold them back anymore.

"Please just fuck me, please, I need it so bad, please oh my god!" You yelled out, you didn't even realize you said that, your mind was only on getting fucked by him and feeling every inch of his dick inside you.

Yeosang giggled teasingly at your request.

"I thought you would never ask." He sat back on his legs as your weak legs stayed in place, Yeo was a nice guy but he was rude as fuck when it came to sex. He gripped your leggings with both hands in the crotch part and ripped it open, exposing your wet sex. He rubbed his fingers over it as he stared at your kitty like it was the most beautiful sight. He placed his two fingers over your throbbing clit and rubbed circle 8's on it, your hips bucked upward because of the sensitivity, more moans and pleads fell from your lips.

"Do you need to be stretched here too gorgeous?" He said looking up at you with the face of an angel but the horniness of a grown man.

"Yes, please! Please put your dick in me." You continued to beg as your hips bucked and moved on their own, he decided to not make you wait anymore, he pulled his shorts down a bit and let out his angry red dick, he reached for his gym bag, and pulled out a condom.

"Please no Yeo, I want to feel you inside me, I'm on birth control."

Luckily one of the things that came with being your trainer was you being very open with him and telling him everything so he knew you recently were tested and could trust you.

"So needy for her trainers dick, how long have you wanted this love?"

He said as he gripped his dick and lined it up with your entrance.

"So long Yeo, so fucking long." You said as more whiny moans came out of you.

He brushed your wet pussy with his dick to cover it with your slick then pushed his hard tip in, he slowly sank his length into you as he held both your ankles in the air, his mouth was a gape while your eyes rolled to the back of your head, already feeling the rush of your orgasm approaching. He finally bottomed out in you, leaned down, pushing your legs back to your ears, and took no time as he started to drill into your leaky cunt. The macaroni noises your needy pussy was making mixed with your desperate moans was like a porno was being made. He was relentless with how his hips moved as he continued to drill into you.

"Your so wet, you like how my dick stretches your little pussy out? It's so tight I'm surprised I can fit in so easily."

His vulgar words only egged your orgasm on even more, your brain was empty, only hearing the slapping noises being made by the raw and unfiltered sex. You were babbling nonsense while he fucked you dumb. Tears started to fall from your eyes.

"Please Yeo I'm going to cum please fuck me more."

He had a cocky grin on his face watching you get fucked into a dumb drooling, crying mess, he thrust his dick hard and deep into you, you could feel him hitting deep inside.

"Your pussy is going to be nice and stretched out when I'm done, you'll only be able to fit my dick inside of it." His endless stamina from working out was showing because his hips never stopped driving into you. You felt your peak as you screamed his name, drool running down the side of your cheeks as your orgasm took over you, your whole body shook from how powerful it was. Yeosang continued to fuck you through your high, when you finished he pulled out and sat on his knees, he pumped himself a few times then hot ropes of cum shot onto your stomach, legs, and butt, getting all over your clothes, remember when I said he was rude as hell? Thank God these were your gym clothes and you changed here.

He looked at his watch as you were stuck there from getting absolutely drilled.

"Looks like our session is up. Can't wait to see you tomorrow." He said with his cute little smile.

[captainpetebradshaw]

so i watched 2x22 "the wire" for the first time today and it was a near religious experience so you're getting my thoughts on it under the cut

I love how comfortable they've gotten with each other; talking books? disagreeing about books? garak asking if julian can't just use his status as a doctor to get them to skip the line?

"perfect health, huh??" julian is so offended by garak lying to him about his condition lol

"i'm a doctor, not a botanist" is this some kind of star trek tradition?

"why can't he just tell me what's going on?" "it sounds like you're taking this personally" "i suppose I am... It's just that garak and I have been having lunch together once a week for more than a year now" once a week?! for more than a year?!

and then julian angrily stabbing dax's plant in frustration. let it out.

unsure if quark called julian to come get the absolutely hammered garak from his bar because he's the doctor or because julian is literally the only social contact quark could think of for garak???

"i prefer to drink somewhere quiet" "quiet? excellent idea... we'll go to my quarters" "whatever you want. but first i must make a stop at the infirmary" guess garak wasn't drunk enough for that little trick

but he was drunk enough to not notice the bottle hand-off to quark

"make it stop, make it stop..." aww no, poor baby!

julian using his doctor credentials to basically break into garak's. guess they ended up in his quarters after all

"if i was ever tortured, [the implant] was designed to stimulate the pleasure centers of my brain to trigger the production of vast amounts of natural endorphins" i gotta say, that has some freaky fucked up potential for fanfics and i can't wait to see how often it has been appropriated in the last 30 years

"living on this station is torture for me, doctor. the temperature is always too cold. the lights are always too bright. every bajoran on the station looks at me with loathing and contempt" ah yes, the autism experience

"why don't you just shut the damn thing off?" julian, do they teach nothing about addiction in med school?

i had to rewind this scene a couple times because i was chanting "kiss! kiss! kiss!" in my living room and didn't listen to a word they said. the 4:3 aspect ratio is also doing its thing

"has it ever occured to you that i might be getting exactly what i deserve?" "no one deserves this" julian going from all that taunting and appealing to garak's pride to this???? unexpected softness incoming

garak telling this story about how he is responsible for so many people dying and julian just saying right now he's just concerned for his health and won't let him die??? "you need to turn that implant off and whatever withdrawal symptoms or side effects you may experience, i promise i'll help you through them" like this is insane. i assumed people shipped them for a reason (and lower decks made them "canon" for a reason) but i was LIVING watching this.

it also has to be said that andrew robinson is acting the ever living shit out of these scenes - fantastic

even odo can't get past protector mode chief medical officer doctor bashir

staying by his bedside? for hours???

shoulder touch denied!!!

it's wild, garak must be suffering so much in that moment but he's still spinning up some new potential backstory. maybe this time it's not a lie but we just don't know.

"and so they exiled you" "that's right! and left me to live out my days with nothing to look forward to but having lunch with you." "i'm sorry you feel that way. i thought you enjoyed my company." "oh i did! and that's the worst part. i can't belive that i actually enjoyed eating mediocre food and staring into your smug sanctimonious face. i hate this place and i hate you." "ok, garak." addicts do get just absolutely hateful so this sounds pretty spot on to me.

on a side note, i don't think i could have done lunch every week with julian. he is smug and he has a big ego and i relate to the other senior officers who were sometimes a little condescending in their reactions when he was boasting about something or other. but that's ok, i don't have to. garak enjoyed it, it seems.

garak: you still have to learn the truth julian: heart eyes motherfucker

"why are you telling me this, garak?" "so that you can forgive me. why else? i need to know that someone forgives me"

"i forgive you. for whatever it is you did" "thank you, doctor. that's most kind"

so julian goes and finds the guy who's kind of responsible for garak having that implant in the first place. it's also i think the first time julian acknowledges they are friends?

"how sick is garak?" "he's dying" "and you're trying to save him?" "that's right" "strange... i thought you were his friend?" "i suppose i am" "then you should let him die. after all, for garak, a life in exile is no life at all"

"thank you" "don't thank me. i'm not doing garak any favors. he doesn't deserve a quick death. on the contrary. i want him to live a long, miserable life. i want him to grow old on that station surrounded by people who hate him, knowing that he'll never come home again. "what a lovely sentiment" "and it's from the heart, i assure you" <- that made me laugh

we learn garak's first name!

he's well again! back to the regularly scheduled lunch date!

and he's got a new book recommendation for julian, how nice

"what i want to know out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't" "my dear doctor, they were all true" "even the lies?"

"especially the lies"

smiley boys!

this ended up being more of a collection of my favorite quotes from the episode but that's fine with me. it's my post.

[nczennie]

A drabble in which Yunho finally convinces you to try something new in bed.

Featuring: Reader x Ateez's Yunho Warnings: Suggestive, sexual themes, language

[23:42] with Yunho

You've known about Yunho's particular interest since the beginning of your relationship but you've never acted on it until now.

Not that you were totally against it, you both were usually eager to test out each other's desires. But this one in particular made you nervous.

It wasn't even anything crazy, in fact on the spectrum of kinks, including what you've both dabbled in, this is probably the most tame one yet.

If it wasn't for the fact that you were ticklish.

On one of your first dates all those months ago you remember jokingly commenting about sending him a picture of your feet. But instead of laughing like you thought he would you watched in amusement as his face turned beet red and he became flustered.

You did in fact send him a picture when you returned home and the video he sent back in return made you realise it was worth it.

However, that's as far as it's gone. Some pictures and some comments here and there but you were hesitant to let him actually touch your feet because you just knew you would jerk.

Today, however, Yunho was paying particularly close attention to your feet. So after he had laid you on his bed and ate you out until you were seeing stars, you couldn't bring yourself to deny him as sits up and kissed up your leg to your ankle.

He stares hungrily at you, kneeling between your legs, and you can only stare at him still feeling dazed from your prior orgasm. But when his lips press gently against the sole of your foot, accompanied by his fingers swiping over your heel, what you fear most comes true.

In your ticklish manner, you can't stop your leg from jerking, sending your foot kicking straight into Yunho's nose.

"Fuck!" He proclaims loudly, dropping his grip on your leg to hold his nose.

You sit up abruptly with a gasp, covering your mouth with shock, any prior brain fog cleared from how worried and embarrassed you were. "Oh my- Yunho, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" You scoot towards him and he removes his hand from his nose, checking for blood.

Thankfully, there is none, but he still raises his hands to poke around the area, obviously still in pain. "I'm sorry," you whisper out again, not wanting to reach out and touch him in case of making it worse.

"S'fine," He mumbles, attempting to scrunch his nose.

You flush, feeling horrible, "Maybe...maybe we can do a footjob instead." Maybe it was his mouth that made you react that way and want to make it up to him.

He scoffs, "And have you kick me in the balls next? Yeah, no thanks." He sighs, moving to grab his underwear from the floor, obviously in no mood to mess around anymore.

Frowning as you watch him move to grab his shirt to bring to you to cover up, you speak again, "I'm really sorry, Yunho."

He sighs, helping you put the shirt on gently, "It's fine, I didn't know you were so ticklish."

"I can't even get pedicures." You admit with a frown.

Yunho lets out a soft laugh as he sits beside you on the bed, "Well, now I know to leave your feet alone." This makes you pout, not wanting to deprive Yunho of something he could enjoy, "Maybe we can try with just your hands at first."

He reaches to push some hair out of your face and places a kiss on your forehead, "It's fine, really. We'll think about it another time."

You don't object as he pulls you against his chest, but you are determined to figure out a way to let Yunho touch your feet how he wants one day.

Copyright © 2024 by nczennie. All rights reserved.

[indecenthoney]

A Sight For Sore Eyes

---------------------------------------------------

There are days when I don't feel as confident as I should be. A bad representation of who I really am. I can get really judgemental of myself. But when it comes to you ladies... You could wear a hoodie and some sweatpants and I'd already be thinking about our future together... If you're new to this blog... I am delusional...

"Okay... Sorry... Forgive me... I'm a bit of a dumbass... Could you repeat that? Yeah... Mhm... Nope, you lost me again... Quick question... What the fuck do you mean you don't feel hot? Have you seen yourself? If you're ugly then I'm an atrocity... You're fine..."

But I do get it. I try to hype up my friends any chance I get. I even try to give them a little push to get them out of that slump. I will do what is necessary to support them.

"Okay okay... I get it... I get it... You just don't feel as pretty today... Is there any way I can help? You... don't know? Well... I have an idea... but you can't say no... Take my hand and I will help you out... Good choice... C'mon, we're going for a drive..."

I learned that the brain can be pretty mean and judgemental of ourselves, so it requires more "physical" proof of our worth. What better way to make my bestie feel better about themselves than to show them off?

"We're going to the mall, duh... We'll go out for a quick stroll after I pick out a few outfits for you... Sound good? Not like you can say no anyway... Will you relax it'll be fun..."

In actuality, this is more for me than them. I mean dressing them up to fit my preferences? A once in a lifetime opportunity. I get to spend time with them, spoil them, and even show them off a bit. True, my eyes may wander but I'm her best friend. What's the harm? Right?

"Here put these on while I pick some other things out... Yeah, I'll be here... This looks good... and this would definitely look good on her... Seems like she's done... and she's getting hit on... Hey... Fuck off she's with me... Me? I'm her boyfriend... Well, look at you... getting compliments left and right... Maybe you don't need me after all... Yeah yeah... I'm right here no need to be scared... I'll scare them off for you... Today is a little too much for you, huh? We can go home and relax then... By the way, you look really cute clinging onto me with that outfit... There's no need to be embarrassed... C'mon, give me your hand... Let's go buy it..."

On the way back home, our little experiment isn't over yet. There we are hanging out, showering her with compliment after compliment. Eventually easing her into a little request of mine.

"You do look good! Seriously... you gotta give yourself more credit... You look absolutely stunning in that outfit... Speaking of, I kind of also bought these outfits... Surprise! Do you mind trying them on for me? Pretty please?"

She eventually gets into it and smiles a little more. I go on to compliment her and take pictures as I cheer her on to pose for me. She's starting to feel better about herself. I'm falling in love more and more as she goes through the outfits. Her not noticing that each outfit gets a little more revealing than the last. Handing her the final bag of clothing; a skimpy little bikini. Watching her meekly peek through the bathroom unsure of herself. Giving her a warm smile inviting her out into the open. Her legs shaking, doing her best to cover up but to no avail as I scan her body from top to bottom. Standing up and slowly inching towards her not to completely scare her off, but enough to take a few steps back against the wall to corner her.

"Fuck... You really do look good in anything I put you in... Hm? What's wrong? Me? A little too close? C'mon dude... I don't bite... relax... You know... When I heard you didn't feel pretty... I really was determined to change your mind... Don't you feel pretty right now? Cause you are... Give me your hand... You heard me... See? Feel this? You did this... Not to mention, the amount of heads that turned on our way back to the car... Looking at you... like a piece of meat for them to feast on... I wonder what kind of sick basic shit they'd do to you... Aw, sweetie... There's no need to be scared... I'll protect you... I always do... How could I ever share what's mine? I love you terribly after all..."

Pulling her in for a kiss as she trembles in arms. Breaks my heart to see her fight it, but whatever. Trying to push me away but also feeling her slowly melt away in my kiss. After what seemed like forever, I pull back to give a short break and see my love struck bestie. Only to be pulled back to reality with smack on the face.

"That hurts... and here I thought you would feel the same way... No? No no no no... You keep saying NO! But here you are soaking wet... How fucking lewd... Look... Can't you see your juices coating my fingers leaving strings... LOOK AT IT! Was it my kiss? No? How could it be? After you reacted like that... So what? It was the other guys, huh? If it wasn't me then it must've been all those fucking guys... You like the attention, don't you!?!? What? S-scaring you? Sweetie... Oh sweetie... t-there's nothing to be scared about... It's me... I'm trying to help you... even if it means hurting you... You're just... a little lost is all... Let me help you... I love you... I love you... I love you..."

I would proceed to grab her by the hair; placing her on my lap ass up. Taking off what little she had on and fingering her wet cunt. Every echo of disapproval met with a slap on the ass. Her cries mixed with her moans unsure of what she should be feeling right now. Her body betraying her.

"I'll stop... when I want to stop... and making you feel pretty is my goal right now... Oh, sweetie... I don't think you mean it... I need you... to MEAN IT... There you go again... I'm tired of hearing you say that you don't want it... God... I really did spoil you... but that's on me... Why don't we set some ground rules? Every time you tell me to stop... I will spank you... Understand? When I make you feel good... you say thank you, okay? See? You're... not... listening... You're only hurting yourself... What are you supposed to say? Good good... See? And when good girls follow direction they get to feel good... good girls get to be rubbed sillly and have fun... bad girls get spanks... and we don't want to be a bad girl now, do we?"

Her back resting against my chest; her legs spread and eagerly awaiting my fingers. Feeling her shake all over knowing that any act of defiance will be met with a spank. It gets me excited hearing her tremble telling me she'll be good and that she will listen. How could this ever be wrong? I'm helping her. This is out of love.

"Going to cum again? It's okay, sweetie... Cum as much as you want for today... I'll even slide another finger in, okay? Shhhh... It's okay you can take it... That's it... Mhm... Thank you... Yes yes... You're being so good for me right now... That's my good girl... No... I won't spank you anymore... Cause you're going to listen right? You're a good girl now... Mhm... Good girls listen... and do you know what would make me really happy right now? For you to ride me... Can you do that for me, sweetie? Such a good girl..."

Watching her guide my cock into her wet cunt taking in inch by inch. Crying and shaking from the little orgasms as she inserts it into herself. Finally finding some relief as the tip of my cock knocks the entrance of her cervix. Absolutely brain-dead as she sits on the full length of my cock. Twitching and spasming on top of me. Her on the verge of tears, overstimulated but eager to please. Rocking her hips back and forth stroking my cock with her pussy. A mindless fleshlight seeking attention. A fuckdoll of my amusement. Bouncing up and down on my cock as she endlessly repeats how pretty she is.

"Now... tell me... Who's pretty?"

"Me... I'm pretty... I'm pretty... I'm pretty..."

"Yes, you are... The prettiest... It's okay it's almost over... you can move your hips now... and once you're done we can take a break..."

Cumming into the deepest part of her only to have her slam down even after my completion. Hugging her and telling her it's okay and that she can rest now. Giving her short soft kisses on the lips as she drifts off to sleep. There isn't a damn thing that I wouldn't do to make her feel better. I love her after all.

------------------------------------------------

Purely obsessed,

Honey

[ladykailitha]

Batshit Soulmates Part 6

The second one today. I'm trying to get through my backlog because I have almost twenty chapters that are finished and ready to be posted. And that isn't counting the fact that with my daily goal of 400 words a day, I'm definitely going to have more than that the longer it takes for me to post.

This here is my schedule for the next two weeks, but as I said, since I'm always writing, that "return to one chapter a day" on the 11th? That's probably a pipe dream. So I might end up adding a fourth day to my posting schedule so that I can at least put out a chapter a week for each of my WIPs.

We'll see.

For this chapter we have fun times at the Wheelers (heavy sarcasm), that talk and a cliffhanger? Yeah, a cliffhanger.

In Medias Res| Prologue|Pt 1| Pt 2|Pt 3|Pt 4|Pt 5|

****

They had been traveling awhile when Eddie decided to get the lay of the land by getting higher.

Which was great in theory until he saw the vast expanse of...shit he didn’t even know how to describe it other than evil. And it stretched as far as he could see.

He turned around to get back down when Nancy called out.

“Don’t step on the vines!”

Eddie froze. “Uh what now?”

“They’re connected to the Upside Down,” she said with a huff.

Eddie looked to Steve to translate.

“They’re part of a hive mind,” Steve explained. “You step on a vine and basically you’re stepping on Vecna and basically everything else in this hell hole.”

“Shit!” Eddie hissed as he tried to come up with a way to get down without waking up the whole Upside Down to their presence.

“I was thinking that now would probably be a good time to get my guns,” Nancy murmured.

Eddie finally decided that fuck it, he was just going to by pass all the vines jump down.

He landed deftly on his feet and as he pulled up his jeans a little he said, “You, Nancy Wheeler, have guns at your house? Guns as in plural?”

Robin pointed excitedly at her. “I know, isn’t she bad ass?”

“I have a Russian pistol,” Nancy said with a cock of her head, “and a revolver.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “You almost shot me with that one.”

Nancy smiled back and with a teasing lilt to her voice replied, “And you almost deserved it.”

TWAP!

Steve stepped back with the force of a denim vest being thrown in his face. He looked up at Eddie in shock.

“For your modesty, dude.”

Steve looked down at the vest in confusion. “Wha–”

Just then there was great big roar and the ground shook. Robin tumbled into Eddie and Steve barely managed to catch Nancy before elbowed him in the side.

Steve and Nancy were able to keep on their feet but Robin and Eddie fell to the ground.

Eddie looked at Robin and then back at where the noise came from.

“Guns are really starting to sound good right now,” Eddie muttered.

Robin looked back at him and nodded. “Oh yeah.”

Eddie was rubbing his shin as Robin’s heel had kicked it on her way down but his brain turned off when he saw Steve walk by as he pulled on Eddie’s vest.

Shit. He had miscalculated on that one. He hadn’t wanted Nancy Wheeler to ogle his soulmate but he didn’t take in the fact on how hot Steve would look wearing his battle vest. He only barely managed to help Robin to her feet before he was hoping forward to catch up with Steve.

His little lizard brain lighting up with, “Hot boy! Must follow hot boy now,” as his feet danced around the vines to be by Steve’s side.

And just maybe Steve wanted it too, because as Eddie fell in step next to him, Steve blushed and ducked his head.

Eddie grinned up at him as they made their way through the darken forest of the Upside Down.

****

Eddie kept looking over at Steve, who was looking like he had merely taken a tumble in gym instead of being eaten alive.

And yeah that was hot, it was also worrying as fuck. Eddie was starting to think that maybe Steve wasn’t a dick, the dude was just traumatized.

Robin and Nancy walked slower behind them to give them some privacy. Finding your soulmate in the middle of the end of the world, again, sucked.

“Hey, I wanted to thank you for saving my ass back there,” Steve said, softly.

Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “You saved your own ass, man. What you did there was very Ozzy.”

“Who?” Steve asked, confused.

“Ozzy Osborn? Black Sabbath?” Eddie prompted. Steve’s confusion only deepened. “He bit the head off a bat on stage.”

“Wha?” Steve said, rearing his head back. “I don’t know you’re talking about.”

Eddie smiled faintly. “It’s okay. All I was saying that that was a very metal thing you did back there.”

“And metal is...good?” Steve asked, unsure.

Eddie chuckled. “Very.”

“Thanks,” Steve said, grateful the dirt and grim of the Upside Down hid his blush.

They walked on for a few moments in silence. “I was so jealous of you, by the way.”

Steve reared back his head. “Me? Why?”

“Dustin talks about you all the time, man,” Eddie said. “Like all the time. Never shuts up about you, in fact. The kid worships the ground you walk on. Called you a badass on more than one occasion.”

Steve scoffed. “Dustin thinks I’m badass?”

“Oh, yeah,” Eddie said thoughtfully. “I think I just couldn’t accept that Steve Harrington was a good dude, you know? Rich parents, popular, good with girls, not a douche? There was no way. It just flies in the face of life, the universe, and everything. Including my very own Munson doctrine.” He twisted the rings on his fingers nervously.

Steve reached out and gently took his hand.

Eddie took a deep breath and let out it slowly. “I’m still jealous because you’re the real deal. I’m learning that outside DnD, I’m no hero. I see danger and I turn and run. Or at least that’s what I discovered about myself this week.”

Steve squeezed his hand. “Hey, give yourself a break. There was nothing you could have done about Chrissy, okay?”

Eddie let out a shuddering sigh. “The truth is that if those two ladies hadn’t dived in after you, I would still be up in that boat. I don’t know how you managed to get the loyalty of two of the smartest girls in school, especially with one of them being your ex, but holy shit dude. Nancy just dived in no hesitation.”

But before Steve could answer another rumble ripped through the Upside Down.

“Jesus!” Steve hissed as Eddie said, “Here we go again!”

They clutched each other as they struggled to remain on their feet. Steve looked up at Eddie and his breath stopped in his chest, tightening like a vice.

They were so close that Steve could taste their mingled breathes. He yearned to just lean forward and–

Robin tapped his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get to Nancy’s before another quake hits us.”

****

When they got to Nancy’s room, their hope for salvation turned to ash like the dust falling from the sky.

“What do you mean they don’t exist?” Eddie hissed.

Nancy looked like she was going to cry. “The Upside Down is stuck in 1983. Most likely the day Will vanished and I didn’t get my guns until after.”

Even Robin looked disappointed at not being about to see Nancy’s guns.

It truly seemed like all was lost when Steve suddenly stopped.

“Holy shit!” he cried. “Can you hear that?”

Nancy and Robin shared a glance.

“Hear what?” Nancy asked.

“Dustin!” Steve said happily. “I can hear Dustin! And Lucas! And Max!” He giggled.

“It’s like they in the walls!”

Eddie grimaced. The pain must be really getting to the guy if he was hallucin–

But then he could hear it too. Steve and Eddie shared a look and they turned, booking it for the door.

They thundered down the stairs and they noticed the golden light glittering around the chandler.

But now the girls could hear the kids too. It sounded like they were in trouble.

All four them were drawn to the light. It was warm and comforting. And god, Eddie couldn’t stop touching the light.

“It’s warm,” he muttered.

The other three reached up and touched the glittering glow. Steve and god, how Steve seemed to watch to reach out to him as well.

“Does anyone know Morse code?” Nancy asked, trying to figure out how to communicate with the right side up.

Steve shook his head and even Robin wasn’t clueless.

Eddie licked his lips. “Um...does SOS count?”

Nancy nearly screamed at him, but let Eddie do his thing. They managed to communicate with Dustin, Erica, and Max, who had somehow gotten themselves under house arrest. Or whatever the hell the cops wanted to call keeping children against their will.

They managed to find a way to communicate with them through Holly’s LiteBrite. And so Dustin rambled at a million miles per hour about gates and murders and Vecna.

“Does anyone understand what he’s talking about?” Nancy asked.

Everyone shook their heads. So she simply sent back a single question mark.

“How many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys trust me?” Dustin screamed.

Steve sighed. “Jesus Christ, this kid has to get his ego in check.”

Eddie leaned over so that he could talk to Steve around Nancy.

“It’s his tone, right?” Eddie asked.

“Yes!” Steve agreed, happy that he had someone who understood what a menace Dustin was at the best of times.

Basically it boiled down to needing to get to the nearest gate. Eddie’s trailer.

“Which great and all,” Eddie huffed. “But let me tell you, Forest Hills is no easy walk from here.”

Nancy looked around at them like they were stupid. “The kids left their bikes here. There should be four of them in the garage.”

Steve rolled his eyes. But they all dutifully followed her out to the garage.

The bikes were tiny. God, are they minuscule. They all climbed onto the bikes and rode all the way to the trailer park.

And if Eddie hung back to watch Steve’s ass all the way there... fuck you, no he didn’t. The view didn’t hurt, though.

They made it his trailer and they laid down the bikes in front of it. Eddie began to shake. Frozen in fear. He couldn’t go back in there. They couldn’t make him.

They could find another ga–

Suddenly there was a warm hand on his shoulder. “I know you don’t want to go in there. But we need to get back to the Right Side Up, breathing the shit down here isn’t good for you.”

Eddie gulped, but nodded.

“I’ll be right beside you,” Steve continued softly. “If you need to, take my hand.”

Eddie instantly latched on to Steve’s hand as he led the group into the Upside Down version of Eddie’s home.

He stumbled a bit as he saw the great, big, red, pulsating...wound.

“Shit!” he whispered, a little awed and a lot scared. “That’s where she died. Like right where she died.”

Steve squeezed his hand gently. “I’m sorry, Eds. We just need to find a way to contact the kids and get us out of here, okay?”

Eddie looked around at his home and just wanted to cry. Nothing was where it was supposed to be and yet exactly where it was supposed to be. And that really fucked with his head.

Nancy looked up at the gate. “It’s too high. There’s no way we can get to it without help.”

Steve and Robin looked around trying to see it there was something that could be used to pry it open from below.

Eddie knew he should help them. He knew where things were kept. But he just couldn’t move. All he could do was stare up at that red wound in his ceiling pulsating with a sick twisted form of life.

Just then something poked through it and Eddie screamed. He didn’t mean to, but the sound had escaped his mouth before he even knew what it was.

What it was when Steve got him calmed down enough to actually see it, was a shovel.

It didn’t make him feel any better, until that curly little mop of hair stuck through the now decent sized hole in the ceiling.

“Henderson!” he cried in relief.

“There you are!” Dustin called back. “Do you think that you guys can work it open from your end while we work it open from our end?”

“Is everyone okay?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Dustin said. “Let’s get you guys out of there, okay?”

Between them, they were able to get the Gate open and a mattress set up to catch their fall.

“What are those stains?” Robin sneered.

Eddie looked up at them and licked his lips. “I, um... I don’t know what they are, honestly.”

Robin’s lip curled. “Gross.”

The truth was that Eddie really didn’t know. He had gotten it used a couple of years ago when his old mattress fell apart. They could have been there from its previous owner for all he knew.

“So who’s going up first?” Steve asked.

“Not you, pretty boy?” Eddie teased.

Steve blushed. “I want to make sure everyone else gets up there okay.”

Robin eyed the sheet rope and then said, “I’ll go.”

Steve nodded and watched carefully as Robin scaled the rope. She flipped around and landed on the mattress with a flomf!

Dustin helped her to her feet.

“That was quite fun actually.”

Back in the Upside Down, Eddie looked at Nancy and Steve, but neither one moved, so he shrugged. “I guess that means I’m next.”

This was Eddie’s least favorite part of gym, climbing rope ladders. He didn’t ever see the point. Though getting detention for pointing out it was part of the military industrial complex was one of his best days in that class, so...

Up he went. It wasn’t that he couldn’t climb the damn thing, he just loved ranting about having to.

“Okay, Nancy,” Steve said. “You’re next.”

But she didn’t answer. Steve turned to her but she was just standing there. He called out to her again.

“Nancy?”

Eddie’s head immediately popped back over the gate. “Shit!”

Steve shook her shoulders, but she remained immobile.

No, no, no, no...

Not Nancy!

****

Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Epilogue

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie

@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666

@goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

@cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

@useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades @mugloversonly @y4r3luv @greeniebean911

@birbsauce @acingthecounts @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @chameleonhair

@tinyplanet95

[mr2swap]

Dungeons and Dragons

-Jacob! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! - the childish and strident voice of a child made the gang of friends leave their wooden swords, their plastic shield and their "magical" scepter that was actually a broom on the floor

Among all the "kids" there was one that stood out from all the others, a 35-year-old man, shirtless, holding a large metal sword that would normally decorate the Johnsons' game room, he fell on the grass, The muscular man and Shirtless froze in terror instantly upon recognizing that shrill and annoying voice-Ups! Damn, we met-

A scrawny 8-year-old boy walked into the garden, his angry look turning to surprise as he saw the group of children staring at him in silence. -oh Fuck- those words escaped from his mouth with an adorable tone. -Hm… Hey… Dere- I mean "my" dad needs you to help him move something… from his niece.-

-Hey!… Uncle Dick, don't worry, I told my friends about the amulet, I saw you asleep on the sofa, so I thought you wouldn't mind if I took your body to play and I…- Uncle Dick He slowly approaches the children and takes the huge, hard hand of his little thief of his nephew.

-Yeah! Come on Uncle Dick! Just let me play with my friends for 15 more minutes!...- the rejuvenated Uncle Dick sighed and placed his soft hands on his head to give himself a little massage to prevent his brain from exploding from all the anger and anger. accumulated stress in this. Little time.

-Listen Jack... you took my body without my permission, you told your friends our little secret and you left me locked in your room while I slept with a note that said "I'll give you your body back at dinner time, it would be great if you did my math homework” -How the hell do you think I feel?!-

Jack winced and a couple of tears formed on his face which was covered by a freshly cut beard, he rushed to the grass and started crying as he yelled -SORRY UNCLE Dick I JUST WANTED TO PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS WITH MY FRIENDS AND KENNY NEVER LET ME BE THE KNIGHT BECAUSE I AM THE SMALLEST OF MY FRIENDS AND ALSO I…-

Now the thunderous voice of his nephew was heard throughout the neighborhood, The Man in the body of his weak nephew looked to all sides worried that one of the neighbors would look at the muscular man throwing a tantrum -Okay, okay! Only 15 more minutes! You're not in trouble! But stop crying for the love of God!-

The tears stopped, Jack using the hideously long fingers of his new hairy hand wiped the tears from him, wiped his nose and stood up. -Thanks Uncle Dick! You're the best! - The children continued their little game while their uncle Dick supervised them, from time to time he checked his text messages so he was not having such a bad time in the skinny body of his nephew Jack.

"I just hope Uncle Dick doesn't mind having to spend another day in my body. When he finds out that I gave my friend Clarence the magic amulet so he could take over his stepfather's body, he's sure to try to kill me. But what?" could I do in my puny body of only one meter? I guess I'll keep the amulet for now, I don't know what planes my brother had with this thing, but I have big planes for his body tomorrow.

We have big planes for tomorrow! We will drive, go to the bar and even buy our first cigarettes! Maybe if we have time we'll play Dungeons and Dragons, maybe we can both be knights now!”

Hey! You can support me to continue creating stories, see similar stories on my patreon, you can also join my discord if you are interested in role-playing about bodyswap, possession and transformation, m2m!

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

Live Reaction of my SECOND listen through of EPIC: The Musical

okay i want my Thoughts after finishing the first listen through today (over the course of a week) but i need to listen Again so here we fucking go peoples. Reblogging with each new saga to keep things organized a bit :)

The Troy Saga

we start!!

The Horse And The Infant

"little ajax stay back" 🥺

"You're not ready"

"I could raise him as my own" I WISH PLEASE

the whole section with overlapping dialogue of possibilities and the tragic ends they would lead to

i wanna know who that guy speaking was i don't remember

Just a Man

its so tragic how this infant reminds him of his own son like what the fuck thats so fucked up how could jorge do this to us. OW.

"close your eyes and spare yourself the view" Q^Q

this whole song gets me. especially paired with WolfyTheWitch's animatic to it. augh.

GOD knowing that all of these metaphors come back later and become Relevant i CANT OMG

"Forgive me" is probably the worst thing he could say because i do and i can't at the same time, but he's not asking me to forgive him, he's asking this INFANT who he KILLED AUGH

Full Speed Ahead

600 men. 601 with Odysseus

god this really is just setting the scene huh. and well!!

He really did wanna go home as fast as he could

OH MY GOD MY BOI I FORGOT ABOUT HIM AND HIS OPEN ARMS

his voice is like. angelic. wow.

"and if we don't return, then 600 men can make this place burn" i forgot about that woah

Open Arms

"My friend" my heart hurts

"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" oh sweet boy

the sound of a sword being drawn is so good omg

"600 friends are waiting for us to show our faces" XD bruh not subtle

EVEN LESS SUBTLE

Polites i love you

"My friend" you are friends yes please remember that please

Oh i forgot the lotus eaters sent them to "this food filled cave"

"I see in your face there is so much guilt in your heart" AUGH MY BOY

the repeating by odysseus...

"You can relax my friend" at the end like AUGH thats so GOOD and then the immediate next song being Warrior of the Mind !!! very good very tragic

Warrior of the Mind

immediately the music change raises the tension

the way Odysseus immediately knows who she is, hears or something, i love it so much.

"Have you forgotten your purpose? Let me remind you." AUGH hes not a man, but a tool

He seems like more of a conquest or trophy than a person to her, which is fair given he's a mortal and she's a goddess but damn this really does just keep happening to him, being a gods plaything huh?

THIS CHORUS GOES SO SO HARD THOUGH

"Maybe one day he'll follow me and we'll make a greater tomorrow" the way she sings this makes my brain so happy

the whole chorus just scratches my brain in such a good way omg

the slowness. "show yourself"

HIS LITTLE LAUGH

the whole exchange honestly

"nah, don't be modest, i know you're a goddess, so lets be honest-" YES YES YES

"YOU ARE ATHENA" WOOOOOOOOOOOO CLAPPING CHEERING

his description of her is great

"goddess and man, bestest of friends!" "We'll see where it ends" "okay" asdghkjsa im wheezing

THEIR DUET

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

"ending on "don't disappoint me" is so mean

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The green-eyed, Green-Eyed Monster

(I was sent this beautiful pic which was found on Pinterest, and we can't find the owner, if anyone knows, please let me know so I can credit them.)

Summary: Y/N decides to get back at Jensen for walking away from her, by reminding him just what he's missing out on.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut. Lots of smut. Unprotected P in V sex, sex in a mostly public place, sex in a slightly skeevy room, oral (m and f receiving) throat fucking, rough sex, spanking (just a bit) slight overstimulation, possessive!jensen, jealous!jensen, poor decision-making skills that would result in a much different outcome in real life - but hey fics are NOT real life, so bring on the fantasy! 😜 Oh, and some fluff to finish.

Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Y/N

Word Count: 2,813

A/N: So, the other day, I wrote this little tongue-in-cheek post, and got some absolutely fabulous reblogs and comments, which encouraged me to combine some teeth-rotting fluff with my reader being fucked into oblivion. I said I would try it.

Then earlier today, the beautiful @myloversgone sent me the INCREDIBLE pic above and this story pretty much materialized in my brain instantly. It turned out to be a bit more smut based than fluff based, but there's definitely fluff at the end. Hope you all enjoy it! 😊

A/N 2: As always, this is a different version of Jensen from within the Multiverse who is single. Absolute and complete fiction, of course.

The beautiful divider at the bottom was created by @firefly-graphics

Masterlist || Tag Lists

(Dumblr is currently messing with my Masterlist at the moment, and some links aren't working, but I've contacted support, and we'll see if they can fix it? I'm also working to get all my library of fics transfered and posted on Ao3, so when that happens, I'll share a link to read them over there. ❤️)

You watch Jensen across the club floor, and feel a thrill of vindication when you see him throw back his third shot of tequila in barely ten minutes. He’s obviously pissed, but it’s no less than he deserves for walking away from you and breaking your heart. 

His eyes find you again on the dance floor, and you grind your ass back against the stranger dancing up against you. You have no idea who the guy is, and you have no interest in learning. All you know is that he’s the guy making Jensen’s eyes shoot jealousy-filled daggers your way, so you turn to face him and throw your arms around his neck. 

The guy seems happy to dance close and not ask questions, so you look to where Jensen is standing on the VIP dais, behind the velvet rope and, keeping direct eye contact with him, you nibble gently on the guy’s earlobe. Jensen’s eyes flash and narrow, and you’re reminded of just how much he used to love it when you did that to him.

He downs tequila number four, tossing the shot glass down before storming away from the group around him. He disappears towards the back of the club and without thinking about anything, not the cute guy you're dancing with, or the consequences for your heart if you follow him, you run off the dance floor to find him.

The thumping house music is slightly muted as you move through a black velvet curtain into a long, red, wallpapered hallway. The club is infamous for this back hallway and the rooms that lead off of it; the regular club patrons have dubbed it the path of sin because there are constantly devilish things happening back there. As you pass by the first door, you can hear the distinct cracking sound of leather against skin followed by cries of pain and pleasure mingling together. You watch the woman in the next room through the wide open door as she snorts a line of white powder up her nose. 

There’s no shame on the path of sin.

As you near the end of the hallway you’re beginning to think that maybe Jensen just left the club altogether. But then he casually steps out of the last room on your left - looking like walking sex, clothed entirely in black, and wearing an expression that makes your stomach clench in anticipation, desire, and just a hint of fear. Jensen’s anger can be intimidating, even if you know he’d never actually hurt you.

But nevertheless, you’d been working very hard to piss him off, and it looks like you succeeded. 

He steps close to you and you back away; he continues to walk you backwards till you hit the wall opposite the room he just exited. You raise your chin defiantly and Jensen wraps his big hand around your throat, holding you in place. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing out there?” He asks in a low growl. “Who is that fucking guy?”

You shrug your shoulders and attempt a dispassionate expression, but you know Jensen can read the pulsating desire in your body and you’re so wet and needy for him that he can probably smell your arousal. 

Still, your voice is impressively cool as you raise an eyebrow at his audacity. “I don’t think it’s any of your business who I dance with anymore, jackass. Since, you know, you took your name off my dance card.”

Jensen’s bright green eyes are dark with anger and lust, both of which make you want to start squirming, but you’re trying to hold on to a thread of dignity. Then he steps closer to you, pushing his leg between yours and it’s everything you can do not to grind down against the meaty thigh he’s purposely rubbing against your drenched pussy.

His voice is low and wicked as his delectable mouth is hovering just above yours. “I didn’t like seeing you with him.”

“Then I guess you shouldn’t have thrown me away, huh?” You say accusingly as you try to push his hand away from your throat. 

But Jensen just grabs your wrist to pin your hand above your head and tightens his grip on your throat slightly as he rocks his lower body against you, making you finally let out an involuntary groan as you feel the hard ridge of his cock through his custom-tailored, black cotton pants.

A flash of victory sparks in his juniper eyes and he bucks against you again; you bite down on your lip to stifle another heated moan. But Jensen’s voice is full of persuasion and delicious promise and you know you’re lost. “You don’t want that loser you were dancing with, do you, baby girl? You still want me. Don’t you?” 

You try to shake your head no, but he’s not buying it. You both know what you wanted when you followed him down the hallway.

Sin. You’re only here for sin.

He pushes your free hand against his cock, closing your fingers around the rock hard bulge there. “I still want you too,Y/N. Fuck, I want you so badly.” He says in your ear, his hot breath making you shiver. “I want to remind you what it feels like to be fucked stupid, to be ridden so hard and so good that every other guy is just a pathetic memory.”

His hand leaves your throat so he can yank down your sequined tank top, groaning at the fact that you’re wearing nothing underneath. His mouth is on you in an instant, pulling your tit into his mouth and sucking hard, making it impossible for you to stifle the cry of pleasure that tumbles from your lips.

He moves to your other breast and flicks his tongue across your nipple, making it pucker into a tight bud that he then sinks his teeth into, giving it a sharp tug.

“Jensen!” You cry out, and against your will, the fingers of your free hand push into his long, soft, honey brown locks, holding him in place as he continues to flick his tongue back and forth against your extremely sensitive skin.

He stands up straight and pulls your other wrist up to be trapped against the wall above your head. He holds them easily in one hand, using his other hand to slowly trace his forefinger over your lips.

“I missed this sweet fucking mouth, and all the filthy things you can do with it.” He clamps his hand around your jaw, forcing your mouth open so he can lick up into it “I wanna fuck down your throat till your gagging, and too full of my cock to ever think of anyone else.”

Your eyes roll back in your head and saliva dribbles out of the corner of your open mouth at the memory of his thick, smooth, delicious cock sliding across your tongue and down your throat, and the memory makes you whimper. Taking that as an invitation, Jensen pushes you down to your knees with one hand while the other keeps your hands tightly bound above your head.

He unbuckles his belt one-handed, before popping open the button on his pants and pulling down his zipper with easy dexterity. There’s a fleeting moment where you remember that for all intents and purposes, you’re on full display, in public, and you think of suggesting that you retreat to one of the rooms. But then he pulls his dick out and taps it against your lips and it’s immediately all you can think about.

“Open up, baby.” Jensen coos at you and you don’t hesitate to obey, sticking your tongue out in anticipation. He eases into your mouth slowly, giving you ample time to prepare for him, but your throat still bulges and you still gag around his giant cock as it pushes down your esophagus. Jensen fucks into your mouth unhurriedly and deliberately, sometimes sliding down your throat, and sometimes just hitting the back of it, causing a satisfying gluck, gluck sound as you choke around him.

Tears are streaming down your cheeks, and you know your mascara must be running black over your skin. He reaches out his thumb to smear the make-up further across your cheekbone.

“So fucking pretty, stuffed full of my cock. This throat is mine, this mouth is mine. Isn’t it, baby?” He asks roughly as he presses himself as far down your throat as he can. You refuse to nod, or give him the satisfaction of giving in easily. You don’t want him to think he’s won yet.

He pulls out completely and leaves you coughing, and gasping, precum and spit dripping out of your mouth. He pulls you up by the vice grip he still has on your wrists and crushes you against the wall, his big hand squeezing your breast hard. You bite down on your lip again, stifling another cry of pleasure. 

“Answer me, Y/N. This mouth is mine, these tits are mine, your throat, your cunt, every inch of this body belongs to me, doesn’t it?”

“You left, remember? I thought you weren’t interested in them anymore.” You rasp, the words coming up harshly from your abused throat.

Jensen stares into you, his forest green eyes intense and piercing. “Oh, I’m interested.” His voice is thick with need and possessiveness, but there’s a hint of regret there too. “I want all of you, every atom of you to be mine. I didn’t realize how desperately I fucked up until I saw you out there tonight pressed up against that piece of shit douchebag.”

He pushes his hand up your short skirt and rubs his thick fingers over your soaked panties. “I’m never gonna let you go again. No one else’s hands are gonna touch what’s mine.”

Panting harshly into your mouth, Jensen pushes your panties aside and slips two fingers through your slick. “Now answer me, Y/N. Tell me you’re mine.”

Your body clenches tightly around his invading fingers and you buck your hips forward as he presses easily against your g-spot again and again, tapping out a rhythm of delirious pleasure.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Is all you can manage, but Jensen seems to accept it as confirmation and he pulls his hand out of your body so he can yank you into the room across from you. He closes and locks the door and pushes you forward onto the single bed in the corner of the room.

“Hands and knees.” He orders and you comply immediately.

He steps up behind you and you expect to feel his cock push into you, but instead you feel him sink to his knees on the floor behind you and you’re suddenly speared on his hard, thick tongue. His tongue fucks you into your first orgasm, but it doesn’t end there. His mouth is heaven and hell against your throbbing cunt, his beautiful plump lips suck your clit into his mouth and he nibbles and licks at the overly sensitive nub, until you’re screaming out your second and third orgasm in quick succession. 

His fingers push into you, and he scissors you open wide, so his long, velvety tongue can reach deep into your pussy, making you push back against his face and let out inhuman noises of pleasure so intense it’s almost painful. Your fourth orgasm hits you like a tidal wave and you flop forward on the bed. No longer able to hold your torso up, you bury your face into your folded arms as Jensen stands up straight behind you.

He rubs his hands soothingly down your back. “That was for me to say I’m sorry for being a jackass and hurting you.” You nod disjointedly in acceptance of his apology.

Then you jolt upright as a stinging slap connects with your right ass cheek. You let out a screech of pain and indignation as he does the same to the left. He delivers two more sharp spanks to each cheek, reddening your ass, and warming it significantly.

You scowl at him over your shoulder and he points his finger at you. “Uh uh.” He reprimands you, eyebrow raised. “That is for your little jealousy stunt that you pulled tonight. I know you only did it to piss me off. Well, this is what happens when you piss me off and make me jealous.”

His hard palms deliver one more simultaneous smack to each cheek, making you bite your lip from the sting even as your core clenches and slick drips down your thighs. He rubs his calloused palms over your skin, easing the fiery tingle he caused, and sweeps his hands down the backs of your thighs, dragging his blunt fingernails back up them and over your ass, making your whole body quiver.

After a minute, he speaks softly, but in a dark voice raging with heat. “Do you want me to fuck you now, baby girl?”

Your words are lost, but you grunt and push your hips back towards him. He chuckles softly and takes the nonverbal cue. You feel him line up at your entrance, but he just teases your hole, pushing in ever so slightly. 

“How do you want me, baby? Hard and fast, or slow and sweet?” 

You nod, because you just need him, but he waits for an answer so you bark out your request. 

“Hard. Fast. Now!”

Jensen growls and ratchets you forward on the bed as he slams into you. “Yes, Ma’am.” He says as he pulls out and slams back immediately. 

He does indeed give it to you hard and fast; his pace is unforgiving and relentless, pounding into you so fast and so powerfully that your knees are burned from sliding forward on the cheap polyester blanket covering the bed. His fingers dig into your pelvic bone, bruising you as he slams you back against him.

The guttural sounds that are coming from deep in his chest as he’s fucking you are what push you over the edge for the fifth time, and as you clench tightly around his cock, you feel him spurting hot and thick deep inside you, painting you, marking you, claiming you.

He collapses on you, and you let him crush you into the mattress. Eventually he slides out of your body and sits on the floor, pulling you into his lap and holding you close. He spreads soft kisses across your closed eyes and the bridge of your nose as his fingers trail soothingly over your breasts, teasing them softly.

“Y/N,” he says softly against your cheek, “I am sorry, you know. I never should have walked away from you. But…”

When he doesn’t immediately finish you look up at him and egg him on with your expression. “But?”

He let out a deep sigh. “You scare the shit out of me, woman. I don’t know what to do with someone like you.”

You frown, trying to decide if you’re insulted or not. “Someone like me?”

He nods.”Yes, someone who can absolutely bring me to my knees with a look, someone who drives me crazy with want, feeling like I need my hands on you 24/7, someone who makes me laugh and makes me happier than I’ve ever been.” He throws his hands up. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

You’re still frowning. “Um…sorry?”

He scoffs. “I know it’s stupid, but I got suddenly terrified that it was all too perfect, you were too perfect, we were too perfect together, everything fit, and everything was easy, and easy things scare me. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it wouldn’t, I think I figured I’d help it along.”

He shakes his head and then kisses you slowly, sweetly, before dropping his forehead to yours. “Y/N, I’m a fucking idiot. Can you forgive me? If I promise to trust this, trust you, can we try again?”

You’d known from the first moment that the idiotic idea had come into your head to try and make him jealous, that this was what you were angling for; a way to show him what he was giving up, and maybe a way to try again.

So, you nod readily and throw your arms around his neck. “Yes, Jensen, we can try again. But promise me that the next time you start panicking, you’ll open your mouth and talk to me about it.”

He nods. “I will. And will you promise me something too?”

“Hmm?”

His hand cups your breast and squeezes making you gasp. “Only my hands are allowed to touch this perfection.” He tips your chin up with his forefinger to make you meet his intense green gaze. “Yes?”

“Fuck yes.” You sigh as he takes possession of your mouth once again.

Easiest promise you’ve ever made.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

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3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.)

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4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well)

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[corrodedseraphine]

hellfire heart | one shot

this amazing edit of Eddie which i used here was made by wonderful @sofiiel

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

story based on a request by a lovely anon: could i request rockstar eddie who is a bit of an asshole, loves a drink etc? maybe something angsty! angst with half happy ending I guess?, established relationship, breaking up, modern!AU

4 310 words

the one shot is also avaliable on ao3

I was going to write this much later, but life sucks and my mood today is some kind of unfunny joke, so this request was the perfect opportunity to unload all my negative emotions in this angsty work!

Dear anon, thank you very much for your request, I hope you will not be disappointed. (I wrote the song myself, it's okay if you don't like this, you can pretend it is any other song yopu like!)

eddie munson masterlist | general masterlist

"I thought that when you come to Hawkins for a break we would organize a little campaign for the boys? They miss you so much." You lay cuddled up against Eddie's chest, who was browsing something on his phone.

"Yeah, about that." he said, turning toward you for the first time in twenty minutes. "I'm not coming to Hawkins."

"What?" you rose quickly. What did he mean he wasn't coming back? The breaks between tours were the only longer time you could spend together. Besides, you saw each other once a month when you visited him on tour.

"Babe, there are so many better things than playing some stupid game, so many parties we can go to, so many crazy things we can do." he replied, sitting down on the bed. "Being stuck for couple of months in Hawkins is not fun."

"But what about the kids? What about Wayne? Don't you miss them?"

"I miss them, but I guess if I don't come once, nothing bad will happen, right?"

"Since when is D&D just a stupid game to you?" you asked. Never in your life would you have said you would hear those words from his mouth.

"Honey, look at me, I am not that Eddie anymore. I am not a loser or freak, I am a fucking rockstar. People love me, I have fans all over the world I have everything I ever wanted. I am better, my life is better now." he said grabbing your hands. "Now I'm going to go to rehearsal, later I'll come back and we'll have dinner together, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, have fun." you replied weakly. Eddie quickly smacked you on the lips and left the apartment.

Being left alone with your thoughts was not good, as those thoughts began to wander into darker and darker corners of your brain. You loved Eddie and were happy like no one else that his dreams were coming true however, you slowly stopped liking the kind of man he was becoming. What didn't escape your attention was his sense of superiority. Suddenly everyone who wasn't recognized and famous, those who didn't participate in crazy parties whose motto was sex drugs and rock and roll, were suddenly worse. More and more, you could see the arrogance in him. At the beginning of his fame, he looked forward to visits home. He loved the hours spent campaigning, the fishing trips with Wayne, or the pleasant evenings at campfires where he played guitar and the rest of your little crazy family was singing. He kept saying that these were his favorite moments. What happened that suddenly they were no longer like that?

Eddie didn't show up for dinner. After three hours of waiting, you extinguished the candles you had lit, put the already cold food in the refrigerator, and took the wine that was supposed to be for both of you to the couch and poured it into a glass. You weren't even surprised that he didn't come back on time as he promised. Lately he had less and less time for you. Day by day there were fewer and fewer calls and messages, fewer and fewer I miss yous and I love yous, instead more and more arguments and misunderstandings. There were more and more drunken pictures of him that you saw on the Internet, more and more rumors about secret "friends" of Corroded Coffin members. At every turn whenever you went on any social media you were bombarded with theories that made you sick. Not wanting to bury yourself in this hole even more, you put your phone down on the coffee table and turned on the movie to occupy your thoughts, but somewhere in the middle of it you fell asleep.

You were awakened by Eddie's loud comeback and quiet curses from his mouth. You turned on the lamp that stood by the couch and looked at him sleepily. He was barely standing on his feet, you knew immediately that he was drunk, you couldn't stop the thought that he might have been under the influence of something else.

"Where were you?" you asked quietly, having neither the desire nor the strength to argue.

"At the re-rehsal." He replied trying to look sober. His tounge wasn't able to form any clear words.

"And later?"

"I hav' n'idea what you talkin'bout." he mumbled under his breath, you could barely understand what he was saying. He shakily walked toward the bedroom.

"Eddie you're drunk."

"'not."

"Why are you lying? Couldn't you at least write that you'll come back later?"

You received no answer. Without even trying to undress, he just threw the phone on the bedside table and landed on the soft mattress immediately falling asleep.

With a burden on your heart, you got up from the couch and, taking a bottle of water with you, because you knew he would need it in the morning, went to the bedroom to lie down next to him. The room smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. You watched his body move with every breath, wondering what happened to the boy you knew like the back of your hand. The boy who mocked everyone who devoted their lives solely to alcohol and parties. A boy who wanted more than just fame and money, who always cared about his loved ones and wouldn't even think of pushing them away in favor of other, "more famous" friends.

It hurt you what was happening to him, it hurt you that you couldn't do anything about it, because whenever you tried to talk to him on the subject everything ended in one big fight. It scared you how much you didn't like his new persona. Even scarier was the thought that this change was permanent.

You were awakened by the vibration of his phone. Wiping your sleepy face with your hand, you took it to turn it off, but you noticed a text message on the screen from an unknown number.

unknown: let me know if you want more ;)

You sharply inhaled the air feeling like your heart was about to jump out of your cage. You knew you shouldn't do this however it was stronger than you. You unlocked your phone and went into the messages with the unnamed number.

Under the message sent above was a picture of a pack of cigarettes. Did he want more cigarettes? You were surprised because after everything he went through in the Upside Down he promised you he would stop smoking. Biting your lower lip nervously, you started scrolling up. There weren't a lot of messages, the earliest one was sent a few hours ago, half an hour before Eddie got home. However, one detailed message from him was enough to make your vision begin to blur.

unknown: how can I return the favor?

eddie: send nudes eddie: just kidding

As if burned, you threw the phone straight at him. He woke up with a growl. Little did he know, though, that a hangover would be the least of his worries. You quickly got out of bed and started getting dressed.

"What's goin on?" he asked seeing your condition

"What's goin on?" you asked pointing your finger at the phone. He frowned and looked at the tiny screen and then realized what was the reason for your behavior. "Who is she?"

"Chrissy's friend." he replied as if nothing had happened.

"And what does she have to repay you for?" Your voice slowly broke.

"After the party she needed a ride so I ordered a cab and we drove her and then I came back here. I don't see what the problem is."

"You really don't see what the problem is? Maybe in what you wrote back to her!"

"It was just a joke don't be dramatic!" he replied sitting down on the bed.

You couldn't believe it. He really thought that writing such things to other girls was okay? Even if it was just a joke, you were not going to accept it. Although you've always known that Eddie can laugh at anything, jokes also had their limits, and this was definitely overstepping them.

"You can't be serious now." you said looking straight at his tired face.

"It was just a joke." he repeated through his teeth. "It's not my fault you don't get them."

The old Eddie would never do something like that to you. The old Eddie, when Steve made jokes like that with other girls was the first to point it out to him and say how pathetic his behavior was. Your old Eddie at least would have let you know yesterday that he would be late and wouldn't be back for dinner.

"I don't care if it was a joke Eddie. I don't give a shit it was a joke!" you raised your voice. Everything you had kept under lock and key for the past months was just being released from you. "How would you feel if I wrote to any of your friends like that?"

An expression of realization flashed across his face, but after a moment it was again replaced by irritation. "After all, she didn't send me any, at least she knows it was a fucking joke, not like you!"

"You wouldn't even admit to me if she had sent one! You could have flirted with each other all the way back and you still wouldn't have told me about it!"

"Maybe we were!" he yelled. "Just- Can you just shut up, my head is pounding." He said hiding his face in his hands. "Get the stick out of your ass, because lately you've been doing nothing but whining."

"No. I'm sick of it Eddie. I'm sick of the person you've become." Shocked, he immediately raised his head. His big puppy eyes found yours however, this time you didn't give in. What was going on between the two of you was not good and it was time to explain. It was time for brutal honesty. "You have changed. You have become someone you would have been disgusted with just two years ago."

"What are you talking about?"

"About you, Eddie! Now all that matters to you is alcohol and these stupid parties. I don't know if you remember, but during one of your speeches at the table in high school you emphasized how much you despise such people!"

"I don't know if it gets to you, but we're not in high school anymore." he scoffed.

"What happened to you? What happened to Eddie, who wrote songs about fighting knights and dragons? Who wrote beautiful love ballads? Whose music had a message? Your last album is all empty words about sex, drugs and how there is nothing meaningful in life! I can understand to devote a few songs to that, but not a whole damn album!" You knew that criticizing his music would be a blow to a sensitive spot, but what was your one blow compared to his treating you like a punching bag? "Where is Eddie who couldn't wait for the campaign and was excited to wonder if Dustin would find an ulterior motive in it? Where is the Eddie who could talk to Will for hours about his role as DM? Where is the Eddie who at every possible opportunity went back to Hawkins to spend some time with his Uncle? Where the hell is the Eddie who didn't choose getting drunk over our dinners together? Where is the Eddie who was always looking for ways to be close to me?!"

"Y/n…" he tried to interrupt you however it was too late. You sped away breaking all the brakes along the way.

"Where is Eddie, who always answered my I love yous? Because the one in front of me now doesn't even want to look at me anymore." You were crying, struggling with breathing out the words. "For the past few months, every time I come you have a problem with kissing me. If I didn't hug you myself you wouldn't do it. You don't answer my messages, you don't answer my calls, when was the last time you told me you loved me?"

"Maybe I wouldn't have stopped doing that if you hadn't criticized me all the time!" he shouted avoiding your last question. He knew the answer would not be acceptable.

"And in what should I support you?! In getting drunk to the point of unconsciousness? Asking for nudes from other girls?! Do you even have any idea how much it hurts me? You don't tell me anything! You keep everything a secret, your nights out, your new friends, you never want to talk about it! How do I know what the hell you are doing there?! I'm supposed to support you in this so that later I can see pictures everywhere from clubs of you having a great time with your fans who are pushing themselves straight into your lap and you don't even try to stop them?!"

"You're just jealous! You're pathetically jealous because you can't accept that my life is so much better now and I don't need you in it at all!"

Suddenly you had nothing more to add. Everything had become clear. Clearer than you had imagined.

It took a while for him to realize what he had said, his words broke the heart not only for you but also for him, because he knew that this was the moment when he would lose you.

"Baby, no. Shit, I am so sorry-" he approached you quickly grabbing your hand but you immediately yanked it away. "Sweetheart, please, that's not what I meant. You know I love you, I'm sorry I've been acting like this lately, please, I'll change, I promise." he panicked. It intensified when he didn't get any response from you. You walked around the room collecting your belongings, which you threw into a suitcase occasionally wiping away tears. Despite his begging and following you around like a lost puppy dog you never spoke a word to him again. Even when you left slamming the door.

For the first few weeks it didn't get to him. He completely lost himself in the party vortex forgetting all God's world "enjoying" his freedom. Waking up in places he didn't know next to people he didn't remember with a massive headache, lack of energy and nausea. This was his new daily life. A daily life that was wearing him down. The Internet was buzzing with news, stories and footage of him getting into fights with other people, or of Gareth and Jeff or Simon having to carry him out of clubs and bars because he was so drunk he couldn't do it on his own strength.

Locked in a vicious cycle, he was starting to suffocate. Suddenly all the things he wanted so much but couldn't do when he was with you were starting to push him away. Suddenly all the quickies with people whose name he didn't even know began to disgust him. The mere mention of any alcohol made him sick. Despite the fact that there were still plenty of people around him giving him their full attention, he felt lonely. Queues of groupies lining up for the tour bus, the forbidden fruit that tempted so much turned out to be nothing.

Lying alone in bed, he stared at the ceiling feeling cold. The darkness that surrounded him consumed his entire soul. Hearing the vibration of the phone he quickly grabbed it hoping it was a message from you, but it wasn't. Suddenly Eddie felt a burning feeling in his eyes that he hadn't felt in a long time. He touched his tear-wet cheeks in disbelief. He couldn't remember the last time he cried, but it must have been a very long time ago. Feeling despair spreading throughout his body, he decided to grab a lifeline and called the person he could always count on in such situations. The person who never refused to help him and who always managed to chase away his demons. Unfortunately, this person did not answer this time, leaving him alone. The person he shouted right in her face that he didn't need her in his life. Sadly, he needed her more than he thought, and loved her even more, but somewhere in his crazy journey, greedy for fame, he forgot all about it leaving him completely alone. He thought about the moment you separated, thought about everything you told him then, thought about how right you were. The longer he thought about it, the more disgusted he became with the person he had become. You were so damn right. He felt like a blinded fool. In fact, that's exactly what he was. The Eddie you loved got lost in the maze of celebrity and money, and in order to survive there he had to adapt to the new environment by creating a completely new version of himself. A version he wasn't proud of.

When he finally calmed down and wiped away his last tears he felt a surge of motivation. He was determined to find the old Eddie and bring him back.

Everyone immediately noticed the change. When rock star, social spirit, party monster Eddie Munson locked himself inside four walls cutting himself off from everything people were shocked. The real reason was known only to the members of Corroded Coffin, who forced him to talk. When he finally told them everything they showed him great support and helped him regain his former self. It was not an easy and quick process, but after a few months he managed to change tracks. Focusing mainly on writing new songs, after the concerts he always returned to the hotel, where he occupied his thoughts with planning D&D campaigns to which he also wanted to return. It turned out that escaping into the fantasy world was still great medicine for his tortured soul. He spent a great deal of time talking to Wayne. The old man was initially very surprised, but also happy to hear his nephew more often now. At his and Corroded Coffin's manager's urging, he also tried visits to a psychologist, which helped him not only find balance in his new life but also helped him deal with nightmares from the past.

The last destination on the tour was Indianapolis. Being so close to home, Eddie sent you all VIP entrance tickets. With a tightness in his heart, he watched as Max, Lucas, Dustin, Mike, El, Erica and Will lined up right at the barriers in front of the stage. Right behind them walked Steve and Robin, and at the very end you. After such a long time of no contact with you, he felt like crying at your sight. He didn't believe you would come, he thought you hated him and nothing would convince you to be here today. And yet there you were. Fate was giving him a chance and he wasn't going to let it pass.

The concert went well, to everyone's surprise, they didn't play a single song from the new album. They relied mainly on those that were written back in Gareth's garage in the days when the world had no idea who Corroded Coffin was. Some people, were not happy about this, but the vast majority sang the songs along with them as much as they had breath. At the very end of the performance, Eddie approached the microphone putting his finger to his lips, thus asking for silence.

"Before we finish, I'd like to announce something." he said looking around. "I'm damn grateful for each and every one of you here, if it weren't for you, we would never have gotten this far, and I will never be able to repay you for that." The crowd went wild, everyone started shouting and applauding, and Eddie smiled and once again asked for silence. "Unfortunately, even on the most beautiful journey one can get lost. And I got lost very badly, and I think that if someone hadn't shouted it in my face a few months ago I would never have found my way back." He grunted. He tried to find you in the crowd, but the headlights blinded him and he couldn't. You, however, saw him. You saw him very well, for the first time in a long time you saw Eddie. The real one. "But I found it. This road is not one of the easiest, so it hurts my heart to tell you that this is the last Corroded Coffin concert this year. It will be a few months before we start working on the new album and hit the road again, and I hope that at least some of you have the boundless patience to welcome us back in time as warmly as you bid us farewell today." he chuckled, receiving thunderous applause anew. "But before we say a final goodbye for today we have a surprise for you."

Unfamiliar chords rang out from the speakers as everyone realized it was a new song, and people started jumping and shouting with excitement.

Cold ground as your deathbed The last thing you hear is scream Heart-wrecking cry of a little ship The little ship is begging Praying to the God above for a miracle You don't know which one But one of them have heard the prayer And you are breathing again

You are back but something is wrong You are back but something is missing Your hands are cold Your heart is colder

Then you meet her Like a ray of sunshine cutting through the clouds Her touch is soft Her voice is calm But her heart Her heart was forged in the abyss of hell In the fire hottest than the Sun She's got a hellfire heart

You can try to avoid it You can try to escape But when she touches you she leaves burning marks She will break your ribs She will pull the lungs out of your chest She will find a way to your heart And you will let her

Be careful you blind fool Because once you lose her You feel like death is taking you back Be careful you stupid creature Because once you stop appreciating what you've got You'll end up alone Without the littlest spark to keep you warm You will freeze to death in the middle of a fire

When you meet her Like a ray of sunshine cutting through the clouds Her touch is soft Her voice is calm But her heart Her heart was forged in the abyss of hell In the fire hottest than the Sun She's got a hellfire heart

After the concert officially ended, the whole group went backstage. Seeing the excitement of everyone except you, Eddie guessed that you didn't tell anyone about what happened between you. When he found the right moment he pulled you aside and locked the two of you in a fitting room. Without a word you stared at each other waiting for someone to finally make the first move. Despite his fear, he knew he had to be the one to make it.

"Thank you for coming." he said quietly taking a step closer to you, but you took that one step back. "I know I fucked everything up, I know that some stupid song won't change anything, I know you have the right to hate me. I've been a complete asshole, everything at its worst, I've treated you in a terrible way, and to tell you the truth I don't even deserve to have you standing here with me…" he once again tried to approach you. This time you did not move away. "I love you, I haven't stopped loving you and you need to know that. I know I didn't show it to you like I should have, I know you didn't feel it and you had the right to doubt it. I want you to know that I have changed. At least I'm trying to do that, I'm in therapy and it's said to be having an effect. Who would have thought, huh?"

"Your apology won't make me forget all this Eddie." you said.

"I know, and I don't expect you to forget. All I'm asking you for is a chance, to show that I've changed. I may never be able to get back the old Eddie you fell in love with, but I can assure you that the Eddie you hated is definitely not coming back. In front of you stands a brand new Eddie, hopefully better than the previous ones."

"I can forgive you, but that doesn't mean it will stop hurting." The tears in your eyes were breaking his heart. Old Eddie would have killed him for how much pain he caused you. "Even if I forgive you it doesn't mean I'll give us a second chance Eddie. I don't know if I'll be able to."

"I know, but I beg you to try to get to know me again. Maybe someday you'll be able to fall in love with me all over again." he grabbed your hand. Large and warm, in which you could easily hide your own. Whose touch used to be home to you.

"I forgive you." you whispered. Hearing those words, he couldn't stop the smile that pressed on his lips. That was enough. From that moment on, he knew he would do anything to fix the mistakes of the past.

"Can I hug you?" he asked shyly, and you only nodded your head. Holding you in his arms, he felt that his life was becoming complete again.

Your path was uncertain, you had no idea how it would end, and neither did he. However, the end was far away, and for now you had to focus on the beginning.

taglist: @i-me-mine @phantypurple @tlclick73

[goodluckclove]

Talking to My Younger Self

Hey man, I saw those photos you posted on Instagram where you climbed up an overpass and through a hole in the fence to take pictures on the side of the highway?

Yeah bud, I don't think it's an issue of that being cool or not cool as much as. Like. Why? Safety aside, did you even enjoy it? Because the photo just makes you look tired and bored.

Oh you didn't smile on purpose. You're "too constantly distressed to smile"? You seeing your therapist soon? You should tell him that.

Your smile is fine, by the way. It's nice! Maybe you don't like it because it makes you look to happy and you consider that vulnerable. I don't know, man, it's a thought. You wanna see a picture of my cat?

You think you need to repress any attraction you have to non-binary people because you're ashamed of "being drawn to them as a gender they don't identify as"? Yeah, I mean, that's certainly a worry based in consideration. Have you thought about if there's - like - another reason behind that, though?

I just mean - you remember when you told me how wearing a binder and a makeshift packer "makes you feel like more of a woman"? Oh no, I'm sure that might be true for some people. But it might not be entirely true for - okay yeah we can change the subject. Sure, send me the new draft of your script. I'll read it tonight.

No, you had the right thought not doing that for your friend. I mean yeah, money is money. But accepting money in this particular case is absolutely a felony. So it's good you said no. Nice one, bud.

Oh yeah I got the picture of your new mini-fridge. It looks nice! I like the mural you painted on the door. You said you stocked it with food so you wouldn't have to get hungry when you're too scared to leave your bedroom? You said that really casually. Are you doing okay?

A four hour commute one way to get to a job is insane, Miranda. No, dude, that's entirely unreasonable. That's goofus shit. Don't do that.

Yeah I don't think using a newspaper you found at the bus station to roll a joint is cool. I think smoking ink fumes is probably really bad, actually. I also doubt you know how to roll a joint. Just a thought.

You got SALVIA? Who the fuck gave you SALVIA? I'm going to lose my mind you're fucking kidding me. Yeah, dude - it's legal, but you're on like six different meds you should not be recreationally doing a drug that makes people freak out and walk into traffic on the regular.

Your mom says it's fine and cool? That's - fucking hell. That's a crazy thing for a mom to say.

What? Your mom also says you only have to take your pet to the vet when they're sick? That's probably because she can't afford regular pet checkups but still wants to keep adopting dogs to neglect. Nope - too harsh on my part, ignore me. Uh, you have a job now, so maybe look into pet insurance. You should get your cat a checkup.

You're fucking kidding me. I'm sorry, uh - why do you think a doctor would get mad at you for going to get yourself a checkup? I get your mom said they'd claim you were "wasting their time", but explore this with me. They're doctors, dude. If they get mad at you asking them to do doctor-things during their designated doctor-ing time that is probably a person that shouldn't be a doctor.

Also have you told your therapist this? Or your dad - or even your grandma? It might actually be a good idea to start fact checking this shit because sometimes people are wrong and at this point I do think your mom has actual brain damage. I mean between the ECT and the eating disorder and the pretty rabid history of substance abuse - you're right. We'll change the subject. I'm sorry. Cat video.

Riley says hi. I saw a bird on my walk today he seemed kind. You're working really hard, maybe you should take a break.

I think you're pretty cool, actually. You're smarter and nicer than I think you think you are. I do think you're entirely too trusting and that seems to get you in a lot of trouble but - I don't know. It might not be the worst thing in the world. It's a bit of a relief that you never were entirely cynical. Opening on good faith isn't always - hey, bud?

Pal? You're doing a felony again.

No, it's not legal. Your friend was either wrong or she's lying to you. No, this is actually a worse felony than the felony you avoided doing before. You should stop immediately.

That friend of yours is absolutely like a legit criminal by the way and you should probably stop hanging out with her.

[brainr0t-landfill]

🌇Push/Pull

gn! reader x Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick

"The kindness of strangers and the strangeness of everyone I know has just fucked with my heart."

-Flower Face, Honey and Milk

(tw:co-depandancey, unhealthy relationship)

Kyle is watching you get ready. He's watching you put on his favourite shirt, the one that sticks to the shape of your waist, he watches as you sling on the belt that he likes to hook his finger between when his hands get sweaty from holding your waist, he watches you put on the sunscreen, the Chapstick he bought you, the same brand as his ex but different flavour, the flavour he revealed in licking off his lips in the afterglow of your quick, chaste kisses.

And he's seething.

"So Fiona introduced me to some folks and we're meeting at the park today-"

Well maybe seething isn't the right word, maybe off-put describes his feelings better, maybe saying he feels left out or underappreciateed is much more appropriate.

"-and she asked me again why you can't come and I told her-"

"I can't come because I'm still injured from the last misson love, how many times do I have to tell you?"

"Right, that's what I told her and-"

It's not that he doesn't like you going out, he does! He likes to strut around his pretty baby, he glows whenever he gets to show you off to the friends and colleagues that he goes on and on to you about. Whenever they say as long as he's happy he smiles, leans down to kiss your cheek, he's happy he's so happy.

Happier than ever.

Or at least he used to be.

"-and she said we could just sit at a café and talk or do something else but I said-"

"You said I fucking hate coffee right? And that I don't want to be around your group of brain-dead, usless-"

He stops himself takes a deep breath that stings his ribs, forces his disdain down.

"-friends?"

You freeze hands on hold as their buttoning up your pants and he gets to drink in every little shift on your face, once upon a time he had an abundant source of them now he gets scraps.

He knows it's unfair, since most of them are his friends or people from his circle but he'd do anything to get some more of you.

"Something along those lines."

"That's my pretty baby."

Kyle met you in a small, underfunded museum.

As a British patriot he likes to stroll around, check out new art exhibits, museums, statues. He likes to keep his pointer finger on the pulse of things and luckily for him he found you there, tucked behind a birch desk eyes wet and reddened nose pinkish from cold like a little rabbit, shaking ,frozen fingers constantly tucking in your scarf that kept coming undone.

"So we're going to the park to see the new flowers set up-"

By then you were still fairly new to London, to it's frigid, charecteristic weather. 

Just a bleak foreign student trying to work and study but you were the most inept, socially incapable thing he'd ever seen.

Try as he might he could never picture you raising your hand in class, asking for notes or showing anyone but him around the displays he couldn't picture you anywhere else either, it was like they had placed you here then built the decaying museum around you.

"-then we're gonna go to that bookshop Mark's been going on and on about-"

You were stuttery, overly apologetic, the only attendant in a cramped museum where half the displays were badly kept and the rest were moldy due to the leaking roof but Kyle liked you, he liked the way you talked the way you gushed on and on about the exhibits in that fast paced, high pitched voice of yours like you were desperate for anyone to listen to you, like any attention shown to you, like you were desperate for anyone's light to stay on you long enough to warm your clammy skin.

He liked that. Like feeling important, big, sought after.

"-then we'll probably visit the mall where you first introduced me to them, since its the anniversary of our friendship and all!"

He cringes at the over-emotional sentiment.

Then you moved in with him, Kyle was used to living with someone he often boosted about his independencey but he had first moved out with his childhood sweetheart who he was sure he'd marry and then there had always been someone to keep the house alive when he was away working and you had easily filled that role.

"It's so nice being able to go out in public without feeling like I'm gonna heel over and die y'know?"

"Tell me about it."

You stayed inside most of the time but you did your best to contribute to rent and keep the house in order, you often cooked for him too and Kyle realized the whole bit about soldiers and the way to their hearts wasn't that far off. 

He doesn't remember when the two of you started dating it wasn't a big deal it was the natural conclusion of things, you moved from the floor mattress to the couch to his bed.

And he restocked his diwindling supply of condoms.

"Are you...mad? Kyle ,you know I can stay in if you don't wanna be alone or if this is bad day or-"

"Did I say that?"

You quickly went from being the tiniest, most pathetic thing he'd seen to being a inconsequential thing with benefits then before he knew it you were the thing that pulled him out of bed every morning, the thing that gave him purpose, kept him warm and full of hope like light crawling out from under a doorway. He associates you with warm bedsheets, the last candle during a power shortage, breakfast for dinner, home; he doesn't dare wonder what you associate him with.

Then your first panic attack happened.

"Did I say one bloody thing that even mildly implied that lovely?"

"Well no but-"

It had been a regular morning till he saw you curled into yourself in bed breathing heavily, eyes unfocussed.

 He hadn't even needed to ask what was wrong, he just wrapped his arms around you and pressed his nose to the side of your hair, breathes in the smell of your anxious sweat, listened to your sharp quick breaths.

He remembers feeling this intense sense of gratitude, of privilege. He was the only one that got to see these, got to see you. He was trusted, entitled. 

He was loved and loving.

"Then don't pull shit out your ass."

It was addictive, you were addictive.

Never before had he a lover so colorful, so twitchy and moist, you made life fun and he was cold when he met you.

He desperately wishes now that he had kept you to himself, that he hadn't introduced you to his friends ,his colleagues he hadn't wanted you to go on searching for new horizons he had just wanted to show off his perfect lover, his one in a thousand that followed him home.

"I-I know Kyle I'm sorry, I really am."

"I know you are, you always are, go hang out with your dumb mates, remember to pick up groceries on the way back, yeah? Miss your cooking."

"Oh already did yesterday, with Burns! Pasta dinner tonight?"

And now you're leaving him, leaving him sprawled and injured on the bed as you go on and expose his precious to other people, he tries to be happy for you and he is.

 He's happy that you're better , that you're back in the cycle of life, back in the crowd like any other civilian but what about him?

You bend down placing a hand on his chest as you press firm, sweet kisses all over his face starting from his brow and ending on his lips, no one reaches for him like you do, no one makes him as warm ad you, he's aware he only has a small pocket of light left before his vanity wears off.

He lays there soaking it in, you pull back too quick.

"I'll pick up our meds and some pesto for you while I'm out okay?"

He nods as he watches you leave but when he licks his lips it's not the familiar taste of artificiall cherry that he'd grown accustomed to, it's apple.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #342

Guess what!!!! The little pumpkin seedling has TWO leaves now!!!! LOOK!!!

I can't believe it grew this much since just the day before yesterday!!! Holy cow!!!

...I asked you to send good thoughts to our little pumpkin friend last time I wrote about it. I guess it must have worked, hahaha!

...Yeah, I know. But I'm gonna make pretend anyways.

I wonder if I should try getting new soil and planting it soon. I wonder if it's strong enough for that. I know pretty soon it's gonna need minerals and such in order for it to keep growing and generating new tissues. So maybe I'll run to the hardware store tomorrow and see if I can pick up a small bag of potting soil. We'll see.

I woke up this morning and went with J to the dentist. He needed another 3 fillings done, and he was gonna need novocain. I wasn't about to let him go through an ordeal and then drive himself home – seriously, fuck that. So I went, and I waited, and then I drove him back home when he was all done.

...Getting novocain injections is painful. And... even with the novocain injections, the procedure was still very painful for J. I'm not sure that that's normal; I was under the impression that novocain was supposed to make the area fully numb so that work can be done without the person feeling pain.

Because... ya see... I remember the first time getting 2 of my 4 wisdom teeth pulled; the bottom one needed to be cut out with a tiny buzzsaw. At first, they hadn't given me enough novocain (or, more accurately, they didn't wait long enough for it to fully take effect), and I definitely felt the results of that; buzzsaw upon not-fully-numb tooth, as a sensation, is very... ah... distinctive, to put it mildly. But then they gave me more novocain, and then I felt no pain even as they broke my tooth apart to get it out of my face. Drilling and filling a cavity is far less invasive as a procedure, so... if he felt pain from that, I can only assume that the dentist fucked something up. I feel upset about that; J deserved better care.

After we returned home, I made two culinary delights. I did a bunch of dishes, and then I made another batch of those pumpkin brownies (which gives me additional excuses to use up all that pumpkin-cream cheese frosting I made!), and also mac-n-chz to go with those hotdogs!!

J had a hard time today, and he really liked the brownies I made last time. This time, upon J's request, I melted the chocolate chips before incorporating them into the batter, and added finely-chopped walnuts:

They baked up really nicely. Here was the result:

J helped a little with putting the batter together, and that was really nice. I always like when I have company in the kitchen; I like sharing the space and sharing the task.

J took a short nap sometime afterwards. While that was happening, I decided to make mac-n-chz. I was a little shocked this time to open the box and find a silver sauce packet paired with the ridged noodles:

...Seriously, what is going on with my favorite boxed mac-n-chz??? I'm used to the ridged noodles with the gold-colored sauce packet. And then one time, it was smooth, shorter noodles with the silver-colored sauce packet. And today it is the ridged noodles with the silver-colored sauce packet!!! What's next – smooth noodles with a gold sauce packet??? I don't know!!!

...I know, ultimately, that it's trivial. It tasted mostly the same as usual. My autistic brain is just throwing a small fit over the unexpected inconsistency of something that is usually familiar. It's fine. I'll get over it.

Of course, the results were delicious. Want some?

The rest of the time was spent talking to J and and off before going to Eggcellent to visit a friend I made on the friend-making app! I went with J, because I was supposed to meet this person at 4pm, and... it gets dark by 4:30 at my house now, and I can't drive at night because of having astigmatism; all the headlights of the cars become infinity porcupines in every direction, and I can't see, so it's not safe for me to be behind the wheel.

On the way there, I got some really nice pictures of the sky! Check 'em out!

We all got some yummies! My friend got a crème brûlée milk tea; it's similar to the crème brûlée “latte” (it's not really a latte because it has no coffee), except... it's made of tea instead of milk, and my friend doesn't like tea. But that's fine!! I decided that her milk tea is now mine, and I got her the latte instead, which she enjoyed much better!

Here's what I got!! I had her milk tea, and I got a rose matcha latte with cream cheese foam, tea jelly, and sago!!

Also, Eggcellent is selling actual crème brûlée now!!! And it's really good!!!

...I'd give just about anything for you to be able to be here to enjoy this with us...

She, J, and I talked for a long time about a variety of things!! It was fucking great!!! And then from there, she came to visit our house, and we talked for a while about you, and we talked about her Danganronpa and Homestuck Alternate Universes, and about the characters she likes!! I don't know much about Danganronpa or about Homestuck, but these sound like cool stories, and I love a good infodump!!!

Before long, it was time for her to head out. I really enjoyed my time with her today, and I hope she'll come back to visit soon!! Maybe we can play StepMania on my frankenpad or something!!!

I don't have a whole lot else on my brain today. I talked to a few people on and off, but I mostly stayed off the internet today. That being said though, I did have a song stuck in my head all day. This one, to be precise:

I think maybe I'll try to memorize the lyrics to this one relatively soon; I kinda wanna be able to sing this one, even though my braces make it a little more difficult than usual for me to make certain sounds, hahaha!

…

...I am 36 hours into almost no pain – since that big huge crunch the other day. I mean... there's still some residual tension, but... it seems very minor compared to what it was, even on a relatively good pain day. I did a bunch of dishes today and cooked twice. It's been a long time since last I've been able to do that without being screwed up all to hell for a couple days afterwards.

...I wanna do more. But I'm kind of afraid of overdoing it and ending up right back where I was before.

I think it'll still be a bit before my next PT appointment, though, so I'll keep doing my PT exercises and hoping for the best.

...Well. I guess that's it for today; I gotta wake up relatively early for work tomorrow. All the same, as always, I'm over here, hoping that you're well, and wishing that I could ask you about how things are going for you and receive some kind of concrete answer.

I love you. And I'm hoping that you're doing your best to stay safe. Please make good and kind choices out there, okay? So that maybe someday, you can come visit for brownies and conversation in a safe, warm house where you are loved and welcomed. Please don't forget that you're irreplaceable – not for what you can do or for the weight your name carries, but for the kind and gentle person you are.

Please come back home. We miss you.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine