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hotcrossbun · 1 year ago

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potential trigger warning:

I'm unsure of all the triggers I'll post so read at your own discretion. thank you. (addiction, divorce, DV, homelessness, sewer slide ideation, family separation) ((i think thats all))

diagnosed: bipolar 2, PTSD, gad.

ive been diagnosed bipolar 2 for 11 years. I'm only 26 years old but I feel my life has spun a little out of control this last year- since November of 2022. I impulsively (and probably mid episode) got married 5 years ago (2018) to a person I knew in high school. my daughter was only about 10 months old. it was really great while we were initially seeing each other but got married after only 2 weeks of officially dating. 😬 I was scared of the idea of being a single mom, trying to do it all and be mom and dad. and i did love them, we knew each other well for years and fell out for a while, but I wanted a sense of family and stability for myself and my daughter. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself, but very very quickly the relationship turned. a lot of it was my fault- but there's plenty of issues that went around. I wasn't managing my illness well and they had been diagnosed BPD. their family eventually pulled back and enabled behaviors. there was a lot of abuse to each other from both sides. physical and emotional.

my daughter saw a lot she shouldn't have, me with injuries that probably scared her, listening to a lot of yelling and bad things. I feel horrible about it. I feel like I didn't protect her correctly but I still wanted her to have a family. I tried to leave multiple times but felt I had no where to really go- I felt safer in the chaos, at least it made sense, right? my instability and lack of support had transferred to my daughter unintentionally and I can't forgive myself for it.

after my ex spouse was arrested for DV in March this year we continued to talk and communicate when we weren't supposed to. ( no contact order ) maybe a little trauma bond-y but we both got evicted from the apartment and bc of a lack of support in my life we moved into another place together. I felt me and my daughter wouldn't have had a place to go. but the relationship was the same. we both triggered the worst parts of each other and both were pretty heavily drinking nightly at this point:(

they got charged officially in early July and when the court stuff was over they really never came back home. it was right before Father's Day and it really hurt me and luckily my daughter isn't really old enough to quite understand yet. (she's young, also a bit on the spectrum and has some speech development delays)

but I hurt for her because they decided to no longer be a part of either of our lives. (since July they have spoken to her 3 times and moved away from our hometown as well) ((everytime they spoke i had advocated for the communication))

my daughter and I moved a few states away for the summer to try to restart closer to my sister but my drinking was a little out of control. the divorce was finalized after our move and it hurt me a lot. I felt that I would tolerate anything for their love but they couldn't accept consequences to their actions. and I think it triggered a deep mixed episode I wasn't aware I was in. but I almost figured it out, I had an apartment lined up in a new state- 2 jobs, a new drivers license and insurance in a new state, my daughter was enrolled to start school. (all done while severely impaired, I was constantly under the influence of alcohol) ((sober now but probably would still drink given the ability, sadly enough.)) we were going to move out of my sister's as soon as I paid the deposit for our new place and my application got accepted to the complex- but the night before my daughter was supposed to start school I was deeply intoxicated and my sister noticed. she has a very low tolerance for any form of substance abuse and I did know that. I just rationalized what I was doing- I thought bc I was sad and upset- going through a lot- since it wasn't illegal- since I was still getting things done- that it was okay. we got kicked out of my sister's house that night and had to stay in a hotel for about a week.

while we stayed in the hotel I got very very low and contemplated sewer slide, my daughter couldn't get to school bc I didn't have a car and the buses didn't go all the way out to where we were, my sister wouldn't watch my daughter so I could work, and I was running low on funds to continue to pay for the room and a deposit on my apartment. I felt alone and like there was nothing left I could do. I acknowledged my negative consequences to my decisions, and the guilt hit hard, i just felt so lost. my wallet got stolen and had my card maxed out. we couldn't fly back to my home state bc my ID was in my wallet and I thought we were going to be homeless. I made some calls and long story short now we live with my daughters bio father, after a lot of borrowed money and a 18 hour car ride, and a lot of grateful feelings towards him and to the universe.❤️

I've always loved this man, I am now dating him again. he's never done wrong by me, it was always me that left and created any of the minute conflicts we've had. I think it has been a long time coming- me and my daughters dad being back together- he has been my best friend for longer than I can really put my finger on. but sometimes I feel like I've just lost all control of my life and worry we're just together bc I lost everything, because we've always been there for each other. recognizably harsh, he would be hurt if I said that, and doesn't lead me to think that. I just worry. he's not a perfect guy, he has tendencies at times that are hard to cope with but I love him for it it all. he's been through a lot lately too- but he's kind and tries really hard to be here for me even when I don't want him to be. he loves me and sees me, our upbringings are different but similar enough to be compatible. he helps me be better, more open, he keeps my heart and soul soft. hes no stranger to mental illness in himself or his family, but also doesn't struggle in the same way as me. I understand him and I hope he feels as if I've been here for him the same way as well.

last night after a long long trip, I started to feel a little episode starting to creep up after handling some situational and circumstantial things that are from our pasts. we both respected each other's separate lives but now have to make them coincide. collaborate and mix our separate lives into one. and now I feel like I'm in another mixed state. wanting to change my emotional identity and be someone else, impulsive feelings and manic thinking and lots and lots of guilt and feeling like an imposter, like I don't deserve to be here in this life or to be cared about. to be taken care of. to participate.

I know this man doesn't trigger me the same way but I have some deep rooted issues and emotional instability that I've been able to keep at bay for the most part. but there's a big part of me that recognizes that just 6 months ago this is not at all where I pictured myself or my daughter. I wouldn't truly change anything about right now- I'm happier ironically and feel safe. it was an off route to happiness I feel. but I fell behind again in things like med insurance and jobs and my daughter going to school bc of moving from out of state to back into our home state, and I have some solutions to these issues, we are balancing responsibilities that contain large dynamics that are so new- but what if the instability never ends? my life is unstable. it always has been. same with my emotions. am I bringing chaos to others lives?

how am I supposed to trust myself in the new life and 'solutions' and know if it's actually coming from a stable non-episode thinking? I always trust everything initially and then it turns into something else, like others are misleading me and I'm misleading myself, maybe that I'm misleading them, with or without the intention to do so. I internalize and am self aware almost to a detriment and I think it just causes more issues, bc I don't know what really is sane and what's not sometimes. am I delusional? am I missing the bigger picture? I love hard and feel everything so deeply idk what to trust anymore.

luckily my daughter is adjusting well, she's smart and kind and healthy, she's strong and willful. I just know that it's probably so hard on her and she lost the person she knew her whole life as her father. been moved around and the one thing she wanted to do was go to school and I couldn't do that for her. I feel so guilty. she's happy, her bio dad loves her so much but also I know that huge transitions for little ones isn't always easy and losing people no matter who they are hurts. she may not get it super well right now but I worry when she's older and really starts to grasp everything that has happened it will be something she will genuinely struggle with. it feels like its my fault. I wasn't dealt the best hand in life and although I do my best with it, by default it's her life now too.

I guess I wanted to express, maybe get some validation and advice. I'm seeking therapeutic services but waiting lists are forever long and it doesn't seem to be possible at the moment. I'm holding in there, I'm okay, just feels like everything could not be okay in a moments notice. I feel alone in my type of situation and feel so misunderstood by some people who've meant the most to me. I can't blame anyone though for not understanding bc I don't really understand it myself. I'm strong but only so beefed. smart but only so intelligent. I worry this is my life now. constantly just waiting for the ups and downs to make themselves known, and the consequences of my actions to be the things to tell me that I was in an episode and wasn't thinking clearly.

if you got to the end of this thank you for your time. I don't have a lot of people to talk to and I have very little family. I know my boyfriend loves me but I won't bring him down with my worries. I know that these neg feelings are probably fleeting but the consequences of life never are. I just wanted better for my daughters experiences. for her emotional well-being and her stability. I hope I am on the correct life path bc I am growing tired and a little hopeless that I am making the same mistakes. thank you again⛅

#mental health

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somanyerikas · 3 years ago

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Nostalgia sells - or does it? About BBC’s rehiring of a previous showrunner for Doctor Who as a marketing strategy

All, right, this is the one where I deal with my issues about RTD’s rehiring from the standpoint of BBC’s business strategy . Brace for passive agression, swearwords, brief history of british television and numbers. So, so many numbers.

Allright, so I already wrote a post about my problem with RTD’s (re)hire from the creative standpoint (it’s here in case you’re interested), but hey, I can bitch about it all I want, but we all know what caused the BBC to make this decision, right? You’ve heard about it for sure. The Dropping Ratings. You’ve read about it on so many posts, lots of them probably oh-so-gladly conflating this fact with their own opinion about the deteriorating quality of the show. (Don’t worry, we’ll get to that.) So Obviously the execs at the Big BBC Quarters needed to do something about it, and what better way to go than rehire a guy who’s run at Doctor Who is a warm childhood memory for so many in it’s fanbase? After all, it’s what we’re seeing nowadays: from Star Wars return to wave of 80′s nostalgia to every old blockbuster star doing a comeback, there is but a single conclusion - nostalgia sells.

Or does it?

Part One: Moving with the change; or very much refusing to.

Let’s start this off with some facts about the ratings for Doctor Who. (Well, I warned you there’s gonna be numbers, didn’t I. Stick with me, I’m going somewhere with this I promise.) In it’s beginnings, in the sixties and seventies , the series flown high, averaging a viewership from 8 up to 10 million viewers per season. Collin Baker’s series 17 brought in a record of 11.21 milion viewer asses in front of a good ol’ TV screen, real champagne opener here. But, as it happens, things were downhill from here. During the eighties, the rating started dropping steadily, reaching an all-time low of 4.15 milion couch-warming bottoms in 1989, the last season of the classic era.

Years passed, 16 of those years to be exact, and here comes our saviour RTD. Under his wings, the revived series premiered, bringing in over 10 milion viewers to the premiere episode of season 1, Rose. A viewership this high did not last for long, but still, RTD’s seasons averaged between 7 and 8 milion viewers per season, which seemed pretty respectable. But then, as the story likes to repeat itself, not unlike the bbc execs just did, along came the decline again. Ever since 2010, the ratings began steadily dropping again, from 7.95 in 2010 to 5.46 in 2017. Then DW experienced an unexpected peak in 2018 with the premiere of Jodie Whittaker’s first season, which averaged 7.96 viewing asses, but then continued the dropping trend on the next season, averaging 5.40 viewing butts.

So what went wrong?

You see, part of the reason that Doctor Who was bringing in such great viewership numbers in the 60′s and 70′s, was that, to put it simply, BBC did not have much competition. Or, to be exact, only had one competitor. ITV was literally founded in order to break BBC’s monopoly over British television. But in the 80′s, with the launch of Channel 4 and Sky, the british viewers had more and more options to choose from. So logically speaking, they no longer had to watch BBC’s programming just because there was nothing else on. There was more and more new programes to boredom-watch. And here’s something y’all need to know about the tv industry: the boredom-watchers, the casuals? That’s the most important demographic. As hard as it might be to swallow, us hardcore fans, forum dwellers and Ao3 gremlins, we’re not as big of a group as we’d like to think. Loving fans are important to the tv execs as providers of word-of-mouth advertisment, but the real numbers come from the casual, everyday viewer who will just put on the next episode cause the other one was kinda fun I guess. Or more fun than the other options, anyway.

And this is why, by the way, when someone is conflating low viewership with the show Dissapointing The Fans, they’re full of shit. I’m sorry, but we’re really not that much of a force here, definitely not enough to make such a big impact on the numbers. Another factor, that some of you probably noticed already, is that the numbers I’m quoting are from british tv only, while the online fandom is very much international, so our opinions matter even less to the british execs, I’m sorry again, hard pill to swallow I know, but true nonetheless.

But I digress. So, to sum up the previous paragraph, Doctor Who’s viewership decline in the 80′s was the effect of the changing landscape of the TV industry, with which the BBC struggled to come to terms with.

Sound familiar?

Let’s move on to the 2010′s, shall we?

2010 was is actually a good marker of a year to choose, because it marks one important thing that begun a big change in the industry. This was the year in which Netflix expanded their services overseas, from being a DVD rental company to providing VOD services. Over the next decade streaming services grew in importance, from being an add-on to your cable TV that you didn’t really want but they were throwing it in for cheap, to very much self-sustainable media services you might very well buy instead of buying the cable. And if you look at the numbers for Doctor Who viewership declining over the last 10 years, that’s precisely what’s been happening. It’s not that people don’t want to watch Doctor Who on tv, they don’t want to watch tv in general. Do you know what was the most popular channel in Britain this year? Can you guess? Fucking Netflix that’s what. It’s just slowly-yet-steadily ceasing to be the way we use home entertainment anymore. Again, not much to do with the audience approval, because for that matter, let’s see about the specific episodes that saw the spikes in viewership.

Rose, which i mentioned at the start of it, was for the longest time the unquestionable queen when it comes to viewership, at 10.81 milion. The next episode, The End of the World, pulled in 7.97 - almost 3 millions worth of lost viewer-butts in one week? Is it because it was so much worse than it’s predecessor? No, it simply did not have the smell of Newness, the Event You Must See, and as such brought forth less of the casual viewers who were simply curious about The New Thing. The next season followed the similar formula, peaking at the premiere, when the marketing was at it’s strongest, going down during the season, sometimes rising slightly for the finale, sometimes not. The most popular episodes are, of course, the specials - yet again, the vibe of The Event To Be Seen worked here, but one more thing working to their advantage is they often aired in spaces between seasons, serving as both a long-waited Crumbs of Content for the fans, and the basically stand-alones for the casuals. Do you know what the single most watched episode of revived DW is? No, it’s not Tennant’s goodbye with the role (yeah I know, I thought it had to be that as well). It was Voyage of the Damned, between seasons 3 and 4. The perfect standalone for the casual watcher. And last but not least, you know one more special feature that brought, maybe not as much, but definitely more than expected? The 1996 movie Doctor Who, with 9.08 million. Again, a perfect standalone.

But the standalones aren’t the only way to grab the viewership. The currently-highest viewing non-special episode of DW? The Woman Who Fell to Earth, Jodie Whittaker’s introduction. In 2018 no less, in the year when the streaming was the ruler supreme, this episode brought a whooping 10.96 million buts to the good ol’ TV again. Let me reiterate: this episode brought in more viewers than Rose did in 2005, while having WAY more competition and way less favorable circumstances of release that RTD’s debiut did. Not only that, it managed to bring on some numbers for the entire season as well, not as good of course as the premiere (because again, the Event vibes faded), but still brought a better average than the last six seasons did. (Again, let me reiterate: more than the last SIX seasons. More viewership than any series since 2010, since the Streaming Wars.) So clearly, this must be the way, right? Catering to this Weird New Trend, that saw directors notice there do in fact exist other actors than white men, that surely brought in some profit, even Marvel does it now, right? Out with the old, in with the new!

Part 2 The Deceitful Charm of Nostalgia

Well, it turns out the whole Doing New Things deal didn’t work out that well after all, now did it? The second season penned by Chibbnal averaged 5.40 milion, that’s 2.5 million drop from the previous one! It must mean it didn’t work, right? Well, yes and no. As much as the refreshment of the formula as simple as Let’s Put A Woman In It absolutely worked for one season, it very visibly did not hold up for longer. An Event-Episode is something that can still happen on TV, Event-Series? That’s pretty much reserved for streaming now, if you think about it, and it’s honestly kind of a miracle that Series 11 did as well as it had. Two consecutive Event-Series on network tv? Flat out impossible.

So how to make those ratings great again? How to get those butts in seats of the Good Ol’? Well, the execs of the BBC have a plan for that. They brought in a devouring beast, and it’s name is: Nostalgia.

Without a doubt, there is a number of people who feel nostalgic about RTD’s era of Doctor Who. It’s a lot of people’s fond childhood memory, or the series they started with, and judging by the numbers, there should be quite a lot of them. So the new plan, as it appears, is to get to those who maybe lost interest in the show and lure them with the promise of the thing That Is Totally Like The Thing You Used To Love, Remember? (This is why I don’t actually think that RTD will be allowed to do anything new and interesting, that’s not what they hired him for. And that’s why I think this is bad from the creative standpoint.) So there are two questions here: One, will the people be lured? And two, for how long?

Nostalgia as a marketing strategy is something that you’re probably sick of seeing already (I know I am). But it has very much been effective on many levels, especially the eighties-baiting, Stranger Things style, can bring a new IP up to relevance. But what about old IP’s that want to have a comeback?

It’s kind of dificult to find another TV show that I could compare to Doctor Who. Most series that have been running for that long are mostly soap operas, that operate on slightly different rules, and are also targeted to a different audience. So as much as the movie series is still not exactly the best comparison, when I think about a big IP, campy sci-fi, family-oriented (at least in theory) on its path back to relevance, I think about Star Wars, obviously. The Force Awakens gambled on that nostalgic feeling and won big, but the next two movies, while still financially successful, were nowhere near the astounding success of the first one. And that’s because - you guessed it - it created the Event You Must See again, The Great Comeback, but merely two years later, the comeback became old news. So what we can gain from that is that nostalgia can create an Event as well as a new trend, if not better. But the question remains: how long will that last?

That is, after all, the main difference between a movie franchise and a TV series in the traditional, network TV sense of the word: movie franchise must bring in the viewership every year or two, and TV series must bring in viewers every week for at least two months. Is RTD’s Nostalgia Vibes enough to provide for that?

I’ll say this: I’m absolutely certain that the 60th anniversary will be very popular. I still don’t think it will break any records because, as I’ve been trying to explain for this whole post, it is not 2007 anymore no matter how much the tv execs would like it to be. But ironically, the almost-certain success of the special is the very thing that could undermine the effect of bringing their precious Nostagia Boi back onboard. Remember, the first Event Episode is The Big Oof. That’s the one that gets asses to the Good Ol’, if anything ever does. After the first big event one, that’s the point when things start going down. They’re wasting their Special Event Boi for something that already would be an event, dear fucking gods, I hate your plan and I would still execute it better. Either have RTD be the Anniversary Guy and then hire someone new, use that hype and keep it going, OR have RTD come in after the anniversary, then at least you get the Event Effect for the premiere of his first return season. Fukin’ amateurs.

But even if they did that, here’s the thing: do you think that the people who departed from the show years ago actually want to watch another three to five seasons of The RTD Show? I mean, I’m sure the thought warmed some hearts, for sure. A number of people will definitely gladly watch the anniversary, probably the first few episodes of the first return to the basics, but after that? In the world when, due to streaming, they have an easy way to revisit the actual thing they’re nostalgic towards? I honestly don’t think so. And you’re not really gonna get many new people by going back, if that nostalgia factor isn’t there. And then there’s casual viewers, the backbone, as we established. And here’s the thing: lots of those people don’t even know who the current showrunner is, cause they’re not Terminally Online like we are, and the second thing? Lots of those people ARE JUST NOT WATCHING NETWORK TV, IM SORRY GARRY. They’re just. They’re just not. I don’t know how to spell it out better. Even my mum has netflix now. Your biggest base is in another castle mate, gotta get moving and gotta get moving quick, cause here’s another thing: all the nostalgia in the world will not do SHIT for you if your target, people who were kids/teens when the RTD era was airing, PROBABLY DON’T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING TV ANYMORE CAUSE THEY MOVED OUT OF THEIR PARENTS FLAT AND LOTS OF YOUNG PEOPLE JUST DON’T BOTHER. Just. I’m sorry but you’re trying to resuscitate a decade-deceased corpse there buddy. It just won’t work. The times have changed and you gotta swim or drown, and it’s just not gonna be 2005 again, no matter how hard you pretend it is. It’s not your content it’s your business model. Just push more marketing for your iplayer or whatever, focus on streaming as your primary not your secondary cause that’s just what it is now, and maybe don’t rely on the viewer-counting systems of the yesteryear to evaluate your business. Or else you’re gonna get stuck sacrificing the creative growth of your show for a marketing strategy that probably won’t even fucking WORK.

There, I got it of my chest. Feel free to reblog, and also: you somehow got to the end of this, congrats! I’ll make numbers nerds out of y’all yet.

#it's like. my sister and I were #watching a movie lately. the one with multiple will smiths and the de-aging tech #(don't recommend it it's real boring)#but when Youngened Will Smith appeared on the screen my sister got my spiting my tea laughing by innocently saying:#"oh i don't know this actor. it's nice that they're giving opportunities to the young actors. great to see a new face in the biz''#and u know what #this rehire is the same fucking vibe to me #some cunts from marketing plastering make-up to an old man's face and pretending its 2005 still #anyway #doctor who #i guess.

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madzilla84 · 3 years ago

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new fandom smell

might as well talk about this here a bit huh!! otherwise this would be a LOT of tweets

(ofmd) (major spoilers) (long) (emotional) (not clickbait)

So there's no real fascinating backstory here - I saw the internet (and more importantly, my friends) losing their collective shit over Our Flag Means Death, and if my experience with Yuri on Ice taught me anything, I knew it would be something I'd end up liking - which was precisely why I was avoiding it a bit, somewhat unwilling to hand over my brain on a silver platter. I also hadn't watched What We Do In The Shadows or anything like that (I will, sometime), but then unexpectedly last week we watched the pilot during one of our phannie caracal watch sessions and well. That was the end for me, goodbye, game over. (If you wanna watch/rewatch the show too we've only watched the pilot so far; well we watched ep 2 yesterday but we're rewatching it tomorrow for those that couldn't make it)

Immediately obsessed. I 'acquired' the rest of the episodes through a very appropriately-named website (it's not yet available legitimately in the UK) and watched them all on Sunday evening (I was just gonna watch 1 or 2 to begin with, hahaha idiot) and I was Done For. It was sadder than I was expecting but I'm actually not completely sad about it because - you know what, we'll get to that later.

I knew a little bit about the real Stede Bonnet (and have since refreshed my memory, especially after discovering one of my fave youtubers Internet Historian made a feature-length video about his life a couple of years ago that I had somehow missed, YAY), courtesy of my late teens/early 20s pirate phase (didn't we all have one), mainly because I was 19 when the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out and I was o b s e s s e d. Anyway of course for all things pirates we must consult the ancient texts:

(Remember these?? I had all of these books. Dragonology was probably my favourite)

And yes, they're in it:

But anyway, yeah. Getting sidetracked. I mentioned YoI earlier and I brought it up because this feels quite a bit like when I finished watching that (I watched it during its run, but towards the end). It was such a nice, happy, positive feeling, just sort of - joyful that this thing exists and that I got to see it, and diving headfirst into all the theories and amazing art and gifs and wailing and squeeing and what-have-you.

People who are a lot better at wording this sort of thing than me have posted amazing things about how and why it's such great and important queer/POC representation and how it was such an antithesis to the queerbaiting we're all so used to, so I won't go too much into that, but I just loved everything - the acting, the writing, the music (day 3, still can't listen to perfect day without crying, i'm fine though, really, honestly, just fine), the characters, the cast, the fanart, the memes, it's just. It's really, really great, and it's a nice feeling to be so thoroughly brainrotted by something I'm enjoying so much. I haven't been grabbed by something new like this for quite a few years now (since getting into dnp in 2018, maybe?), so it's just. You all know how the New Fandom Smell is, it's the best.

I mentioned that I wasn't too sad at the way it ended and, well, obviously that isn't entirely accurate, it was totally heartbreaking - but like, when it *did* end I found myself feeling - excited? Also very sad obviously, because it was sad, but ... I find that I trust the writers and showrunner to take it to a good place, in the end (which is a weird and new and unique feeling), and the journey to get there might be a bit painful (it already is) but that's gonna make it so much sweeter when we finally get there. And that angsty and beautiful journey is gonna be so fuckin good!!

All of that is assuming, if course, that the show continues and that they get to tell the story they want to tell, which, COME ON, it has to. But you never know, I suppose, and of course if that doesn't end up being the case it would change how I feel about it a lot - where we left off was a wonderful place to leave off, there's so much promise and potential, but as an ending it would be pretty unsatisfying and sad, so. We shall see, I guess, but I'm hopeful. Maybe I'm just being a clown, as per usual... (I am here on tumblr dot gov, after all.)

anyway i could go on forever so i'll wrap it up with some random bulletpoints:

The Swede is precious and must be protected

I don't think for a moment that Lucius is dead; fully willing to eat my words but I just don't think so. I don't know if he'll turn up right away or after an absence but i DO know it will be funny. And the tension will be Pete dealing with his idol trying to kill his boyfriend, and of course however Stede feels about it

They separated all the couples at the end (Jim on the ship, Lucius and Stede wherever), which means so many reunion scenes; sad or not that is my favourite shit I cannot WAITTTTT

Obviously fell in love with Taika Waititi; yeah yeah I know the internet has been in love with him for years, but somehow I have managed to get this far in my life without seeing anything he's been in or has made, which clearly was an Error, he's delightful and I have no idea how he does that with his eyes, like a damn Pixar character

Beards don't usually do much for me so I have NO idea how Ed managed to be equally hot and beautiful as full-beard leather version and clean-shaven ethereal doe-eyed anime prince version and angery leather facepaint stubble version, hOW

Same with Rhys Darby; not having watched WWDITS I hadn't seen him in anything either (although? I have the vaguest of vague memories of seeing his standup at some point yeeeeeeears ago on TV, though I don't remember anything about it) - obviously since watching the show I've hunted down many a clip of him/them doing interviews both recently and years ago and it's so lovely to see how funny they are and what good friends they are. They have such insane chemistry, and you can tell they love each other (albeit platonically) in real life. But yes, I absolutely loved him/Stede from the first moment, he's so lovely and endearing and it was such a wonderful performance, especially because it wasn't just comedic, it was so full of depth and emotion and *all* of those things were done so brilliantly, by him and Taika and all the cast, really. How is it his *first* lead?? He's amazing! And Stede is just - extremely relatable, to me at least. (And yes, I got him in that 'which character are you' quiz.) Long may he roam. :_)

The cast!! The characters are just amazing, but so are the cast, at least the ones I've encountered so far; I followed David Jenkins on twitter and twitter was like 'would you like to follow these other 12 people' and i was like 'sure i guess' and they're just wonderful so far. Special shout out to Con O'Neill (Izzy) whose twitter seems to be half him retweeting horny fanart and half hating the Tories. Truly iconic.

And Vico Ortiz (Jim) who went to a ren faire with Samba Schutte (Roach) last weekend and cosplayed as Izzy with blue hair XD. And Samba who cooks IRL and actually made the 40-orange cake!! They all seem like very good eggs.

Spanish Jackie do you need to replenish your spouse numbers or-

Me, a twat, trying to figure out who 'Menozes' was before I realised Jackie was talking about the nose jar. ffs XD

There were so SO many good moments actually I would need a whole separate post or 12

the MUSIC fuck MEEEEEE such good music choices! It was actually the song at the end of the first episode (high on a rocky ledge) that left me with the Longing TM to watch the rest of the episodes IMMEDIATELY (as well as, you know, everything else). I already mentioned I can't listen to perfect day without crying now - it was already a beautiful song, but now? And if you listen to the lyrics? Fuck off??? ;_; and the rest, of course. That Spotify playlist's gonna get some action, I think, heh.

I'll stop here partly because it's super late and this is already so long and partly because tungl's text editing is el shit but man. I'm so glad I found this show, so glad they made it. I'm sure I'll have more thoughts to share soon, I have only watched it once through so far but obviously I'm gonna rewatch.

#our flag means death #ofmd #mad.txt #yes i already bought some stickers

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argumentl · 3 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 49 - Ioka Kazuto's New Years Eve tattoo problem.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again this week.

T: What is the celebratory sake for?

K: Well, this is our first recording of the new year..

J: Yes

T: Happy New Year

J: Happy New Year. By the time this is broadcast it will already be well into January though.

K: Yes, so..for good luck.

J: Ah, that would be welcome....but Im not gonna drink it.

K: Why?

J: Um, I've said this a few times before, but my resolution for 2021 is to not go so crazy when drinking alcohol, to not get too carried away.

T: Hahaha

J: I've already decided on it.

K: Don't you always say that?

J: No, no, no. Um, recently...was it on the 27th? After the live broadcast? I left afterwards with Tasai.

T: Oh, yeah.

J: We left together, we got a taxi. Then when I arrived home, it was about 2am, right? When I tried to get in my house, I didn't have my keys.

T, K: Eh?!

T: Really??

J: I didn't have my keys..what could I do? I think i actually left them somewhere before i arrived here, and I hadn't been drinking before that. But in the end, I went to a hotel in my neighborhood...like, please let me stay here, I'll pay so please let me stay. So, I woke up the next day and called the real estate agent to ask if they had a spare key..they didn't. They said they'd given all the keys to me. So, I called around a few other places, and by about lunch time I managed to get hold of a key. But I had to go and do a live radio broadcast in this kind of messed up state, so..

T: Eh?!

J: Well, I mean, it wasn't the fault of alcohol this time, but I have lost my pocket wifi before while I was drunk, and my glasses...and Im constantly telling dirty jokes while drunk...so this year..., well, I will drink alcohol, but Im not gonna go wild.

T: Hahaha

K: Thats impossible!

J, T: Hahaha

Kami: Joe san, Joe san...

J: Oh, Kami? What is it? Kami's here.

Kami: Joe, you've become a boring guy.

J, T: Hahaha

Kami: You're trying to play it safe.

J: No, no, no. Can I really carry on? Drinking and going crazy this year too?

Kami: You need to be free. Please don't hold yourself back.

J: Haha

T: When we were going home in the taxi, you said, 'I think I've messed up'...

J: I was doing a bit of self-reflecting.

T: Your true voice slipped out.

J: I think it did.

K: What? Why, what happened again?

T: Yeah, what was it again?

J: Well, I think it was me just going a bit wild. It felt like I got carried away.

T: You felt that in yourself?

J: Well, I do, don't I? When I drink alcohol?

K: Well, yeah.

J: Kaoru, we've done a lot of events together, right?

K: Yeah, most of the time I'm like, 'Joe, calm down!'

J: And Im supposed to be the moderator!

T: You change places!

J: Right!

K: Also, he had to read out things written in Katakana and stuff, but he couldn't read the difficult words*1

J: There are a few reasons for that. After I've had a drink, I can't read difficult kanji, and also I have bad eyesight. Katakana has loads of spaces in it, right?

T: Maybe we should have let Tasai do it.

T: Yeah, I should have done the reading.

J: Kanji just turns into clumps.

K: Ok, well, today...Tasai, could you get us started?

T: Yes, this is about the big match on last New Years Eve. Its boxing news. It was the WBO super flyweight title match between Ioka Kazuto and Tanaka Kōsei. Ioka won the match, but this news deals with a slightly different aspect. Ioka's tattoos were visible during the match. The boxing commission have said this is a violation of the rules, and are considering imposing a penalty. Questions have been arising on social media like, 'Isn't this a mistake?', and, 'What about individual freedom?' Did you watch the match, Kaoru?

K: No, I didn't, but I saw it on the news.

T: Yeah. And, Ioka had actually covered his tattoos with foundation to hide them before getting in the ring, but sweating made the foundation come off.

J: I see.

T: So, its become a bit of a talking point, what to think about this.

K: This isn't the first time he's done this, right? He covered his tattoos before in other fights?

T: Yeah, to stop the foundation coming off he...

K: But foundation?...can you really hide them with foundation?

J: Haha, yeah, maybe not. They are too solid. So, he went ino the ring without foundation this time?

T: No, he had it on, but it came off with sweat.

J: Wouldn't that happen anyway?

K: If it did, that means its come off everytime up to now.

J: Right? Its not like its only come off this time. Its hard to understands why the JBC are raising this problem only now?

T: Well, its in the rules. The rules for matches are...in the rulebook, Match management section 4, conditions for boxers article 86, it says for things that make spectators feel uncomfortable, such as tattoos...if a boxer has tattoos, they must not appear in the ring.

J: Oh, thats written?

T: Yes, thats written in the rules. There have been cases in the past of boxers getting tattoos surgically removed in order to be able to compete in the ring.

J: Im not sure about this. Feeling uncomfortable just by seeing a tattoo...?

K: Regular people do though, don't they?

J: Do they?

K: Not people like us here, regular people are different.

J: Haha, of course.

K: But its Japanese people...foreigners have seen tattoos as pretty normal for quite a long time.

J: Right. Their police even have tattoos.

K: But we havn't got there in Japan yet. They are still thought of as scary. Even me, if I see someone with tattoos walk in, I don't say anything to them, but I do notice and look at them if they have tattoos.

J: Well..

K: You look though, right?

J: Well, I would think 'oh, they have tattoos'.

K: Yeh, but you would say ????*2

J: Well...

K: You would!

J: Would I? But...this is boxing, right? The spectators have come to watch people hitting each other.

K: Well, yeah, thats right.

J: For example, if a kabuki actor suddenly revealed tattoos all over their body, I have a feeling it wouldn't go down well with people who are going to see traditional arts, but if they are going to see people punching each other, would they be that bothered about tattoos?

K: Its because the rules havn't changed since a long time ago.

J: Yeah. Hmm, Im not sure about this. What's it like overseas?

T: Its totally fine overseas.

J: Its ok, right?

K: They don't mind if foreigners have them.

J: Ah, foreign boxers with tattoos are allowed to fight in Japan?

T: Yes.

K: So I think this is good. It could change how we do things *3

J: Yeah, it creates a stir, because there are quite a lot of people who know about this old rule. Um, even at events and stuff (I MC at a lot of events), some guests are instructed to wear long sleeeves when they attend. This is what Japan is like with tattoos.

T: But I think I read somwhere that the NBA also has the rule to cover tattoos. Like, they will wear armbands and stuff to cover them.

K: Even in baseball, the Giants have banned facial hair.

J: Have they?

T: The Giants have an unwritten code, let me think who had a beard....do you remember Ogasawara Michihiro/Gatz?

J: Oh yeah, the left handed player?

T: Yeah, when he joined the Giants he shaved it all off etc. That type of thing still happens, even now. Have a look next time the Giants play, none of them have facial hair.

J: I don't think foreign players will like these rules that Japanese have. This seems like its against the Constitution. It really does.

Kami: Its discrimination, right?

J: Yes, I agree.

Kami: Nishinari people are sensitive to discrimination.

J: Yeah, I mean, if they are gonna have this rule, they should ban tattoos for everyone in boxing, but to say its ok for foreign boxers but not Japanese ones.. its a bit...

Kami: Its unconstitutional. Its discrimination.

J: Yeh, I think its discrimination. But looking at some of the comments, some say that although its written in the rules, it can't be helped these days.

Kami: Its not fair though, letting Ioka get this incredible win, and then afterwards saying, actually, no.

T: Yes, thats right.

Kami: When I was younger I won at pachinko..

J: Haha, all of a sudden..

Kami: I had quite a babyface, and would get mistaken for being underage. They never said anything to me when I lost...

T: But when you handed in your tickets they told you no because you're underage?

Kami: Yeah, yeah. Even though they said nothing to me when I was losing. Its like they come to stop you after you start winning.

T: I see.

Kami: They will take all the benefits, but when it starts to get unfavorable...I sense that unfairness.

T: Ah, yeh. Well, its true that the boxing commission already knew that Ioka had tattoos. And they asked him to take part.

J: Yeah. Its not like he got the tattoos right before this match.

T: Thats right. Incidentally, he got this particular tattoo in America in 2018, September, to show resovle and determination for his comeback fight. And this time, he has also added his son's name as if to say 'lets fight together'.

J: Oh, thats a nice meaning....Sue them!

T: Sue them?

J: Yes, Tokyo Sports should sue them.

T: Why just us? haha. We should together.

J: ???*4

K: I wonder how this will turn out though.

J: Yeah. Is Ioka following the boxing commission then?

T: He is still waiting to see what they decide.

J: Ah, ok.

T: He is still waiting for their judgment.

J: So like, it will depend on the level of punishment he gets.

K: They'll just say its the rules.

T: In that case, he might just go to America, if he can't fight any matches in Japan.

J: Well, yeah.

T: I think this would be a bigger problem if it happened outside the ring. But its happened within the ring. Its still a fact that tattoos are seen as scary in this culture.

K: It seems so to me, speaking as a person who has tattoos.

J: Thats what you have felt from experience?　Exactly.

K: But you could say that he knew this when he got the tattoos. He knew they would tell him to stop.

T: Like, boxers definitely understand this.

K: He knows it, but he is still appearing in the ring, so if he has determination and resolve, its great. If he doesn't, its no surprise if he gets complaints.

J, T: I see.

J: Well, considering he did try to hide it, but the covering just came off, I wonder what will happen. Its not like he can wear clothes over it, right?

K: He could have put tape on it.

J: Oh, right, you can hide it like that too?

T: Yeah, there might be something like skin coloured tape.

J: Kami, can we have a last word from you on this?

Kami: Well, whatever the rules, making them only apply to Japanese is strange, right?

J: Well, yes, thats true. We'll have to keep a look out for what happens with this from now on.

K: Well, yeh.

T: To see how it develops, yeh.

K: Yeah. Kami seemed a bit lacking in vitality today, didn't he?

J: Yeah, he seems down. Kami, did something happen to you at new year time?

Kami: No, no, Im fine! Don't I sound it?

K: You sound like you are lacking a bit of punch.

J: With it being boxing, you'd expect him to have more 'punch'.

K: He just seemed a bit...regular.

J: Yeah.

Kami: Regular? haha.

K: He's laughing, haha.

T, J: Haha

J: The staff are making me laugh.

K: Ok, shall we finish here for today?

J: Yes

K: Ok, please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1, 3 Not sure this is right.

*2, 4 Couldn't make out

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

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drunkkenobi · 4 years ago

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Happy Watcher-versay

For all my sweet baby angels who were not in this fandom a year ago, let me paint you a picture.

In 2018, the content didn't flow as much as it does now, but there were still lots of Instagram photos, or surprise pop-ups in other Buzzfeed videos. You never knew when you'd click on Curly's instastory and see him hitting on Ryan or Shane and Ryan tweeting about some terrible dream Ryan had where Shane died or when you'd see them in airports together and begin speculating where they would be ghosthunting next. Then at the end of season 5 of Supernatural, when Ryan and Shane say they’ll be back but without a clear date, and while saying “we do have a special for you in January” (which would be the sponsored Black Dahlia revisited ep), it felt a little odd and sad, since SPN had only been 6 episodes instead of 8, but oh well, they’ll still be around. Plus maybe that meant they were working on season 2 of Ruining History! So we went on with our days, watching an awkward Buzzfeed holiday special with Shane as the grinch and Ryan not there at all, along with Shane getting the actual worst haircut of all time for a bit and Ryan not there at all. The Black Dahlia ep was a nice little treat, though. But then a couple weeks later, the Buzzfeed layoffs hit and I cannot emphasize enough what a shitty, anxious weekend that was. Ryan was at Sundance with Mari and so his lack of presence with regards to the layoffs was weird and made me (and a lot of other people) anxious as fuck that Unsolved wouldn’t continue at all. Shane didn’t say much either, although he was quietly liking tweets from fired friends. Katie Leblanc did eventually post that Unsolved was not canceled, although the damage had been done. TJ had been laid off, only a couple weeks back from paternity leave, and it was just a shitty time to care about Buzzfeed stuff.

But a month later, the boys were back filming True Crime and then La Llorona with Curly and we hit another fandom mini-high. But, curiously, during the same time, Ryan was posting instagram ads and tweeting at a bunch of LA companies asking to do collabs and it seemed like our fears were true: Ryan had left Buzzfeed and Shane. He was doing Unsolved on contract but was going to venture out into the world and do his own thing, maybe acting or ~influencer shit. Shane was still popping up in some other Buzzfeed videos so it was the only logical conclusion we thought.

Every time a random Buzzfeeder I followed posted a shot from in the office, I’d try to scour the background for Ryan and Shane but I never could find them. Whenever they did post instastories, they were working from home, sometimes together, sometimes not. That felt weird, but we thought maybe Buzzfeed was allowing people to work from home more as a boost to morale after the layoffs. And we knew they filmed more Berry Boys stuff at Knott’s, where was that? And then after True Crime s5 ended, we went months without anything, besides the Annabelle sponsored episode. All summer, no videos of them at pool parties together, no tweets from other Buzzfeeders about them at all, nothing. A lot of the time, though, Ryan was visiting Mari on set so that helped explain his absences, but maybe not all of them.

August rolls around and the boys film s6 of Supernatural, ghost hunting in Florida and South Carolina. The joy of seeing them post weird pics of each other while traveling could not be overstated. Then Ryan tweeted that Shane was “irreplaceable”, even when faced with switching him out for Paddington. Things in the fandom were looking up! We didn’t know why they were only filming 14 episodes of Unsolved a year when they used to do twice that many and we didn’t know what the fuck they were doing with their time and Sara finally commented that Ruining History probably wasn’t coming back so what the fuck did Shane do with his time, especially now that it had been a year without the Hot Daga and just what was going on over there???

Season 6 of Supernatural came and went, a glorious 6 week run that included “it’s not like he’s my daddy”, face-touching, and Ryan’s Old City Jail freakout. But after Halloween, it was done and it was another month of lows of after such an intense high. When were we going to see them again? Was Unsolved coming to an end? Were they growing apart? A lot of future reunion fic popped up during this time, which I think is a good indicator of where the fandom was at, how we were coping.

Then, on December 8, 2019, Ryan, Shane, and Steven Lim all posted eye emoji tweets. Weird. Some thought it was a reference to an album coming out around that time, some assumed it was some sort of teaser for a BFU/Worth it crossover (Andrew doesn’t social media so that helped too). An odd crumb of content that we nonetheless ate up.

December 9th rolls around. At around 10am PST, a trailer goes up. And suddenly, everything about the past year shifts into place.

I cannot emphasize enough that no one, no one, though they’d ever leave together. They couldn’t pull a Try Guys, Unsolved was too expensive to shoot and they couldn’t buy out that name with just two of them. It never crossed our minds that they’d want to create new things together. That they truly do think of each other as irreplaceable, not just as co-hosts on their spooky show, but in all aspects of their lives.

So. Happy Watcher-versary, my darlings. It’s been a shit year, but made immeasurably more tolerable with these doofuses and this lovely fandom.

#watcher dummies #I'm having a lot of feelings on this here wednesday

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byteloading168 · 3 years ago

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Running Man Ep 278 English Sub

KMazing – Entering the year 2017 Running Man faced many problems. Such that, it was notified that the year 2017 will be the last year Running Man. Because of the issue of the dismissal of Song Jihyo and Kim Jongkook at the end of 2016 is horrendous and unacceptable. Finally, the PD and Member of Running Man agreed to end the program, Then before the end, the concept is built around a special episode where each member is given their own episode to be planned.

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Also read : Best Knowing Brothers Episodes of All Time (Up to 2018)

But in the end, Running Man continues on air after the dismissal of the “troublemaker PD”, the famous variety show even add 2 new members, namely Yang Sechan and Jeon Somin which turn out to be a huge improvement. Still, like in 2016 where Running Man’s rating is still not as good as in its heyday. Slowly but surely Running Man’s Rating improved once again, at the end of the year the program achieved 2 digit rating. Well, which episode is the best in 2017 and 2018 so far? Here are the 20 best Episodes, exclaimed as the funniest from Running Man of 2017-2018. Enjoy!

Running Man welcomes the comeback of SNSD in this episode. As the experienced girlband get involved, there are a lot of funny scenes presented here. Like when the member has to choose their partner where Yuri is the unlucky one to be the partner of Ji Sukjin. Not only that, we will also see the SNSD members show their dance skills and aegyo and you will be melted with the aegyo power by Sunny. For me, the funniest scene is where Haha is always being reprimanded by her partner Soo Young. The theme of this episode is actually looking for the Bad Girls throughout the mission. Who will be 3 girls that became the Spy?

The following Running Man Episode 278 English Sub has been released. Watch full episode of Running Man Series at Dramanice. Add to Favorites. To help maintain our system, we have to run popunder on player with very low frequency of 1 pop per 12 hour. Hope you will understand and support us.

Sinopsis Running Man Episode 278 X Man Collaboration Special. Lee Kwang Soo Siap Pimpin Tamu Tamu Tampan Running Man Episode Eng Sub Hd Running Man Kim Soo Hyun Ep.

Running Man is a reality-variety show that stars Yu Jae Seok, Kim Jong Kook, Haha, Jee Seok Jin, Song Ji Hyo, Lee Kwang Soo, Jeon So Min, and Yang Se Chan. In each episode, they must complete missions at various places to win the race. Each mission is action-packed and hilarious as each member tries to beat the others using their wits and skills. Each week, is filled with fun that includes.

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Episode 1 Running Man (2019) Korean Variety. Episode 1 Running Man (2018) Korean Variety. Episode 1 All the Butlers (2020) Korean Variety. Episode 1 Lie After Lie. Tags: Watch Running Man Episode 142 Engsub, Running Man Episode 142 full hd, download Running Man Episode 142, watch online, free Running Man Episode 142 kshowonline, dramacool, kissasian, youtube, dramanice, myasiantv, Running Man Episode 142 eng sub, Running Man Episode 142 English Subtitles.

The episode that took the Couple Race theme welcome the arrival of many beautiful and cute guest stars. One of them is Jeon Somin who will then become the latest member of Running Man. Just as in Episode 224 where Kwangsoo and Somin became a couple, this episode both of them also became it too. But as predicted, rather than a romantic moment this couple show a lot of betrayal moment that will make us laugh our *ss off. Kwangsoo who had been known as a good traitor and schemer got betrayed by Somin, twice.

Episode 334 is Kim Jongkook Week. Where the Running Man members have to help Jongkook while he is having a romantic date with a girl. They also perform various games that will help determine the fate of Jongkook blind date trip. The concept is really touching and easy to “digest” and such romance is needed for the vivid viewer of Running Man, since the Monday Couple have separated, the romance was so lacking throughout the episodes, this particular episode at least give us a break and add more dynamic toward the concept of member’s week.

In the episode of this new year’s edition, the Running Man members are getting their prediction about their lives in 2017. Not only that, their health is also checked through the condition of their eyes. This is the usual concept that has been repeated like two or three times before, the funny part of these New Year episodes is when the members get the answer about their luck for that year which of course varied. This is also the first time Song Jihyo and Kim Jongkook is coupled in a romantic way.

What I like the most from this episode is the adaptability of the members of Super Junior which make even a simple game hugely interesting. Super Junior and Red Velvet became Guest in episode 376. Not only they did come in complete personnel. It turns out that one of the members of Suju, Eunhyuk is a friend from the same elementary school as Jeon Somin. There are also a lot of funny stories between them. The closeness of Somin and Eunhyuk make Donghae jealous and this kind spark is what keeps this episode interesting.

Running Man once again took the theme of Couple Race but this time with much more guest. There’s even an extra 2 male guest, Jo Se-ho and Sung Hoon. Meaning there are 8 pairs in total. So do not be surprised if this episode took 2 episodes. Even for its opening alone spend half the episode. The guest stars are asked to show his or her talents. Sunmi is definitely featuring with the famous dance of Ganshina. Well, Jo Seho as always gets tricked by Yoo Jaesuk. Not only that Jo Seho who is paired with Song Jihyo always get scolded and even beaten.

This is one of the episode of Global Race where Jeon Somin and Kwangsoo have to undergo their punishment in Indonesia or precisely in Gunung Kidul Jogjakarta. They have to cross toward the fishing island using a cable car made by the coastal residents of Pantai Timang which is made with Wood and several strings connected to each other. This whole episode features Somin and Kwangsoo. The members have to guess what they are doing and the result of the action. Kwangmin couple’s moments will also make us laughed and melted here.

Cara install pcsx2 windows 10. In this episode Running Man welcome the arrival of special guest star Gary! Gary and his clone forces came into this episode to defeat the other members which come as a surprise since the member didn’t expect the appearance of their ex-member. The twist is there and presented professionally with good build up and tension. 7012!

Where Jae Suk became MC while the other Running Man member has a match against another team of entertainers. It’ss guaranteed a lolly moment when you watch this episode. Maybe for some, this episode is a bit bland and much more like the moment of revival for some entertainer, but the game was not blatantly simple, plus there is a twist at the end.

In this episode, the members were asked to collect items to fill a house which later will become their base camp. Starting from the sofa, carpet, mattress, to the toilet. They had to borrow or ask for many items from their fellow celebrities, from Cha Taehyun, Kim Dong Wook, to Park Bo Gum. This episode is really exciting for me because each member get their airtime almost equally and all of the moments created are super funny.

Continuing the theme of Global Race, this time Running Man visit Japan to get serve the sentence in the Ghost House. Unfortunately, Kwangsoo must serve the punishment by himself. While Somin went through it with Yoo Jae Suk and Ji Suk Jin served his “adventure” with Yang Se Chan. Lots of funny and thrilling scenes we go from this episode like VJ of Ji Sukjin who fled in fear and left his camera behind.

Well, Haha’s special episode is the best among the others. Haha has been known as a hesitant type of personality and wishy-washy with the choices available. In this episode, Haha will always be told to choose between two members who are prepared to undergo a punishment. Like Lee Kwangsoo or Ji Sukjin who will be thrown into the air with a giant ball. Or Kim Jongkook (eating high calories food) and Song Jihyo (touch insects). And the twist was Haha didn’t plan this episode but other members did this as the gift for Haha’s second child which had made Haha want to run away due to the shameful feeling.

Episode 372 can be categorized as to be one episode with the best Twist of 2017 or perhaps one of the best Twist in Running Man history. Early on, the member saw a video of Lee Kwangsoo who was talking with two mysterious people. Kwangsoo is upset about who he has takes to undergo the punishment in Australia. Well, you will be really shocked by what happened at the end. Usually, we’ll see Jeon Somin making a loveline with Kwangsoo or any male single guest but in this episode Jeon Somin create a romantic moment with Kim Jongkook. Like when somin act as a girlfriend of Kim Jongkook.

Last part of Global Race Project last of 2017 where Running Man members are divided into 2 groups. Lee Kwangsoo’s team which consist Jeon Somin, Ji Sukjin and Yoo Jaesuk flew to Australia and Kim Jongkook’s team consist of Haha, Song Jihyo, and Yang Sechan visited New Zealand. This is the second part because it has previously aired in Episode 378. If in the previous episode 378 (Team Australia) is stealing the attention, during this episode Team New Zealand became the star. Obviously, because this team offers cuteness and tension. Where Haha and Sechan had vomited before getting on the swing and the best moments when Song Jihyo and Kim Jongkook take on the Nevis Swing with the upside position.

Running Man’s blockbuster scenes frequently have a lot of rushes, chills and enough twist on the story to keep watchers oblivious until the last minute. This scene; highlighting apparitions from Running University, took the great Running Man blockbuster scene to another level with a sudden wind that left the individuals reeling, as well as the gathering of people. You wouldn’t have any desire to miss this scene, including incredible part science and collaborations, and a splendid storyline that will keep you snared until the finish of the race.

Still a continuation of episode 346, this 347 episode has three teams, namely Osaka team, Taipei team, and Jeju-do team. They have to buy souvenirs in those places. The team that has the heaviest souvenirs will win this mission. The scale of the mission is huge and Jang Do Yeon helps create smooth episode especially during the trip to Jeju-do. Overall this episode is a good one as the new member looks fluid enough to gel with the original member of Running Man.

This episode centers around the Running Man individuals gunning to be the beneficiary to Running Airline’s affluent director. As basic as it is an idea, the scene is made more troublesome by the beneficiaries; feisty and brimming with shocks. This present scene’s quality likewise originates from the last mission, an unofficial ID tearing mission in which the individuals need to battle against each other to be the beneficiary. There’s an immense twist towards the end which you presumably won’t see it coming either.

Special Christmas episode on Running Man, for the most part, have an amazing quality of esteem, however, to keep in accordance with the current year’s Running Man subject of wanders aimlessly, the PD have thought of yet another blockbuster scene including apparitions, vindictive spirits, and people. You’d most likely never observe Christmas similarly again. A note, the main portion of the scene tends to delay somewhat more, yet the real race is where the place of fun is.

This is the best and funniest Running Man episode in 2017 but not quite fundamental. Because this episode is special to celebrate 7 years Running Man. All Running Man members come to the show with their friends and family. Like Song Jihyo and Somin who brought their younger brother and Kim Jongkook who came with his older brother. Other members choose to take their friends. But before the guests come out they tell the habits of each member. Like Haha who once vent on and wanted to gang up Kim Jongkook. All agreed that the star in this episode is Haha’s friend Park Geun-shik and Jo Seho. Geunsik with his innocence often makes Haha angry while Jo Se Ho always gets teased by Yoo Jaesuk. But Tae Hang-ho (Friends of Kwangsoo) also take much of the airtime while trying the high voice game.

On episode 346, the new member Jeon So-min and Yang Se-chan start joining permanently as a cast member. Here we will be getting stomachache because of their hilarious behavior, especially from the new member! This time there are three teams that compete to win. They must successfully undergo a mission if not, the will be given a horrible penalty. It might not be the funniest, but this episode becomes the turning point of the new era of Running Man. Thus, we see this episode as the fundamental episode of Running Man in 2017.

5/5(7 votes )

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The Bridge

Two detectives from Malaysia and Singapore are assigned to work together on a double murder case. A body – split in half and made up of two different women – was found at the second link bridge that connects both countries. The killer later reveals that he will bring five issues to light that cause chaos in both Malaysia and Singapore – people are unequal before law, human trafficking, laundering, violence against women and children, and child labour. This politically charged and highly complex case leads the detective duo in discovering the close connection between the killer and those who are chasing him. Case by case, they learn about the killer’s hidden agenda.

Running Man Ep 515 Eng Sub

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lonely-queen · 3 years ago

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moving on - a short personal essay

Revisiting tumblr just for having a platform that allows more characters than twitter so here we go!

2 months ago (today - 27th July 2021) not for the first time I moved to a new home. And not for the first time it had been my own 4 walls now. From late 2017 till May 2021 I used to live in a shared apartment along with 2 other girls. I personally closed the acta of these persons and deleted them from my life. So I have no words left wasting for them.

The phrase “To delete” certain things outside of the internet-world is actually my key message already. With my move I closed many doors even, tho, if I wanted to or I had to for peace of my mind. I broke up with the chapter of my old life constantly living in compromising and holding back what’s important for me. I am not afraid of telling the harsh truth and my honest thoughts, because - let’s be honest - I’m not into sweet talk hoping my fellows understand a problem that way.

For Example: One chapter that got hashly interrupted was the friendship between my former neighbor. The reason I could’t move on as there was nothing is because he knew combining the room mates situation, COVID-19, fear or keeping the job etc. caused a lot of pressure and stress for me. He constantly gave me the reason being a second-class friend without realizing. Even after we’ve spoken about that he didn’t get it. The very last situation we were into, he offered me helping out for my move. So I told him if he can spare a little of his time just for carrying my possessions into the truck I’m good. Saturday, the 1st of May came and there was no single sign of him until... He sended me a picture. It was a selfie of him standing in front of my truck accompanied by the words “Oh so sad you’re moving away”. There was never the intention of actually helping me because he was going to meet his more-prefered-friends and he actually switched my words by saying “You never asked me to help you” even, tho, he offered it to me.

Actually the fact that I explain this anecdote that detailed shows I’m still lying to myself: I haven’t ended this chapter yet. I, again, pretend to not care.

So I asked myself why am I that deeply connected to people I know it’s not worth it? My parents told me it really isn’t worth it and it shouldn’t affect my emotions that hard.

I’ve been talking to my Mother, who has been diagnosed with burn out and depression back in 2018 and she guided in herself into psychiaric supervision. She has a lot of things to let go herself. I somehow got the feeling of looking in a mirror. So we’ve been talking to one of the specialists she knew from that establishment.

They were telling me there is a chance of a deep sitting depression based in our genetics since we show certain similarities. The thing is I stopped that right there. Yes, maybe I should keep talking to psychologists but I’m avoiding talking about such things. I think, by starting a new life, like I did in my new apartment, helps to improve.

What else I am doing? I was told it helps keeping the mind busy. I almost every day go to the gym so I can listen to upbeat songs and almost every night I take quiet walks because the next other thing I’d do is laying fetal positioned in my bed crying. So instead I go home exhausted, go to sleep, wake up for work and repeat. Also living my creative mind as much as I can by creating the things I like... Not only sketches or photos. But, well, even writing things down. Still I’d say every other week I have episodes of feeling myself so heavy I can barely move. I try to balance these things like rain and sun and I jut deal with this as it belongs to me.

The Moral: Since Covid started I’ve been through a roller coaster of joy and the absolute opposite. I can build stress and pressure caused by persons I cannot stand. So for a while I’m not afraid anymore of blocking people out of my life. And seriously it feels so much better not able seeing people giving me bad vibes and even more pressure on instagram or facebook (however I’m not actively using facebook, so that’s the most healthy way). And I’ve learned how to do the same with people around me and I keep working on it.

My very last words are you, yes You! Just keep up with the favourite things you like to do. Either it’s collecting toys or creating artworks or whatever. Things you enjoy doing makes live enjoying much easily either.

For now I have nothing more to say. xxR

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rainbowdonkee · 5 years ago

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With 2019 coming to an end, I wanted to make a list of my personal top 10 video games that came out this decade. I was 12 in 2010, and now being 21 video games have always been important to me! Many of the games that are the most dearest to me sadly came out before 2010 (HG/SS barely made the cut with the NA release). I tried to not make recent releases be part of my bias (FE3H lol), plus there were many games such as Bioshock 2, Fallout New Vegas, DA2, ACNL, and many more that I love but this list would have been too long!

1. Dark Souls (2011)

2. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (2017)

3. Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver (NA 2010)

4. NieR Automata (2017)

5. Final Fantasy XV (2016)

6. Bloodborne (2015)

7. Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia (2017)

8. Astral Chain (2019)

9. Granblue Fantasy (2014)

10. Deemo (2013)

Dark Souls: Although I haven’t really completed the game personally, I’ve seen many playthroughs and videos about the story and characters. Hidetaka Miyazaki is absolutely awesome in creating those fantasy worlds and characters, everything that Dark Souls ended up influencing was pretty groundbreaking. And the OST is always enjoyable to hear again.

Breath of the Wild: This game took quite a long time for Nintendo to release, and when it finally came out on the final year of the WiiU and the birth of the Switch... it was pretty emotional. Also to realize that Iwata-san never made it to see the rise of Nintendo’s success after the failure of the WiiU gets me everytime, but I hope he sees all the smiles and joy BOTW has brought since its release. The game changed not only what is a LOTZ game but what is an open world, I’ve played it twice and each time I picked it up was a new experience.

Pokemon HG/SS: This game was released around Fall 2009 in Japan, but for NA it was out in March 2010. I still remember the anticipation for Spring Break to arrive in order to spend all my week playing it! I never had the chance to play the original Gold/Silver, so everything was new to me. My 12 year old mind almost exploded when I ended up finishing the Johto League only to find out we were ALSO traveling to Kanto!!! I was shook! This game is amazing, and I’ll forever wait for them to somehow add our Pokemons following us around, that mechanic was so cute! And of course the OST is golden, and I can always listen to it and be brought back to those days.

NieR Automata: I never played any of the past NieR games (although I was aware of their existence). The first trailer I ever watched had the “Become as Gods” song so I was hooked from the start! And learning that PlatinumGames and Square Enix both developed the game made me hyped for its release. I love everything about it, the characters, story, music, themes. By the time I finished the game, it had brought me into a journey of questioning so many heavy topics about life...I really wasn’t expecting that about a game. Not going to lie it may or may not have brought me a mini existential crisis but with a game made my Yoko Taro can’t be too surprised.

Final Fantasy XV: The game I so often heard fabled tales since as back as 2009 and the hype was just building up for this game! I remember going to the movie theater when they were having special screenings for the Kingsglaive movie (I dragged my friend, little brother, and mom lol). The game went through so much, many cuts and changes were made but I personally ended up liking what we got. Still super sad that many unreleased DLC’s were cut off, but the love I have for the characters and music will always stay.

Bloodborne: Hey another Miyazaki game, what can you say...the man just makes brilliant games. He took everything I love about gothic, victorian era, and Lovecraftian esque and made this extraordinary game. I’m here hoping that maybe this 2020 we can hear a slither of news of Bloodborne 2, the theme for this game is too good for them to leave it as only one game.

Fire Emblem Echoes SoV: After the train wreck that was Fates, I literally was not expecting for us to get another FE title so soon! Japan waited 2 years for Echoes but thanks to localization giving us Fates in 2016, we got SoV a year later. I never heard of Fire Emblem Gaiden, before this game I never played any of the Japan only FE games, so when news was coming out about this title I tried 100% to AVOID it. Why? Because this was the first time I could start a FE game without personally knowing anything about it, and when I first played it, right from the start it felt so different, it didn’t felt like a Fire Emblem game (which isn’t bad at all). With the new art direction it also felt like a whole new world, I love Hidari and I hope we get to see them more in future FE games. The game had a simple plot which I didn’t held it against them, I knew this was a remake, and personally I’m glad they didn’t added things like an Avatar or S-Supports. They stayed true to its original source, and SoV will stay as my personal favorite FE game. Also Heritors of Arcadia will be the best vocal theme we got in FE series.

Astral Chain: Oh snap another PlatinumGames IP? This developers are just too good! Astral Chain came out of nowhere although I’ve heard it was worked on for a long time, supposedly even before NieR Automata was developed. I really enjoyed the game very much, from all the 2019 games that came out it caught my eye and I went in with not too many expectations but I had a good time. The story took a crazy turn and I could see some similar themes as NieR Automata but it held its own ground to become unique. The fighting mechanics were so much fun to play and the music was also awesome! I wish more people talked about this game since it is Nintendo’s new IP. I hope we can get the twins for Smash Ultimate!

Granblue Fantasy: I first new anything about Cygames back in 2016 when I saw the OP for Rage of Bahamut. After Seeing the OP for season 2, seeing Azazel in all his glory I knew I had to watch the anime! Luckilly Rage of Bahamut season 2 was continuing in 2017 so I was able to catch up just in time for its final 10 episodes. I LOVE Azazel and Kaisar and of course ROB Lucifer! Then to my surprise I found out about GBF, and I was dumb and thought the app was unavailable in the west which is technically true since you need a Japanese account to download the app which has an ENG text option. So it wasn’t until 2018 that I downloaded the game and started my journey through the sky. This gacha game literally changed what is a gacha game to me, the developers listen to fans, the community is fun, and just everything about this franchise is so great. I’m not a hardcore player so I’m not too worry about grids, I’m here for the cute husbands. (Lancelot, Sandalphon, Albert, Grimnir I lov u).

Deemo: I love this game, one of the best app games I’ve ever had. Back in the day I used to play TapTap Revenge and that was my first taste of rhythm games, Deemo brought me back to those types of apps. Whenever I was anxious I could always play this game and pass the time while keeping my mind busy. Plus without Deemo I would have never known artist’s such as Mili. The game is on the Switch which I’m so happy because I was able to just get all the songs without flooding my tablets storage space.

#i won't explain why these are my favs since it will literally turn into an essay #fire emblem echoes shadows of valentia #fire emblem echoes #dark souls #darksouls #botw #loz #the legend of zelda #pokemon heartgold #pokemon soulsilver #ffxv #nier automata #top 10 #bloodborne #astral chain #gbf #deemo #video games #list

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zerochanges · 4 years ago

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2020 Favorite Anime

I am sure I don’t have to exactly spell it out that 2020 was a different year, we all know the spiel now. It was in particular a bad year for me for a lot of personal reasons on top of the whole world wide pandemic thing killing millions and shutting down business and and all our hobbies--so I really was straight up not having a good time. It’s because of that I honestly didn’t really keep up with a lot of my hobbies this year so when it comes to choosing my favorite anime and games of 2020, I don’t have as much as I usually would.

So this year I decided to just say screw it, there are no rules. I usually try to impose some on myself every year for my lists: rules like no sequels, no long running shows, no shows that technically started last year, only new content from this year and not older stuff I watched/played this year but came out from a prior one. This time, there are no holds barred. I am just going to list my top whatever the hell I feel like listing. So starting with anime and in my usual alphabetical order; here we go.

The 8th Son? Are You Kidding Me?

Maybe a guilty pleasure? Maybe I just enjoy some trashier shows? It’s hard to say. There is nothing that great about 8th Son, it’s very bland and doesn’t stick out amongst the million other isekai (another world) power fantasy series that are all the rage now and yet there is a strange draw to it. Perhaps it’s because almost all the isekai elements in the series feel more forced than anything else, like they are just tacked on to appeal to modern audiences.

8th Son honestly feels more like a good old fashion fantasy series from the 90’s that just had to add isekai elements in it to appeal to kids today. I really enjoyed it for that aspect. The power fantasy isn’t too out of control (although the protagonist is quite strong), and there is no real end goal or attempt to return to your previous life. The protagonist Wendelin is more or less just cool with how things are now. Instead it focuses on his growth as a mage and how he tries to navigate the political intrigue of this feudal world being one of the youngest born in a noble family with no clear line of succession to take over yet being the most talented and magically gifted child of said family.

Ascendance of a Bookworm

Proving that not all isekai series have to be a power fantasy, Ascendance of a Bookworm plays out more like an educational take on medieval times, think something among the lines of Spice and Wolf, if you will. One day Motosu Urano wakes up in the body of the small child Myne in a fantasy world much like medieval Europe but with a few other elements like magic and sorcery. While at first that may sound like a high flying adventure it really isn’t. The series is more about following the average life of a peasant in this world and how far out of reach literature is to them, given the lack of printing press and the like. Urano now Myne tries her best to create books for the common people and spread literature, a herculean task considering the insane douchebaggery of the higher caste in this world. But armed with modern day knowledge of the 21st century Myne is able to create modern conveniences and wow most people around her.

Black Clover

So I am going to include long running shows now this year, get over it. Black Clover has been a favorite of mine in recent years. Out of the modern Jump battle series I find myself more and more drawn into Clover (and also my one true love, the ever underappreciated World Trigger) than the other more popular ones that seem to rule all the anime conversations today. Since I was following the series dubbed as it aired on Toonami this year brought me the end of the first part of the series; finally seeing the epic conclusion of Clover Kingdom’s long standing battle with the Eye of the Midnight Sun and revealing some pretty great and shocking twists behind the war of elves and humans along the way.

This finale was fantastic and honestly while I am glad to see the series continue on and grow from there, and look forward to seeing more of this new second part of Clover that focuses on a war with the Spade Kingdom, I absolutely would not have complained if the whole thing ended right here with this story arc. It wraps up so beautifully and is a compilation of three great years of episodes.

BOFURI: I Don’t Want to Get Hurt so I’ll Max Out My Defense

Bofuri is not a series I thought I would enjoy as much as I did but it really won me over. Essentially just a ‘cute girls do cute things’ kind of show but with a twist of it being in an MMO game, there is something about it that made it so comfy and easy to watch. There’s always something enjoyable about watching the protagonist Maple, an absolutely clueless newbie at video games continue to be the bane of existence to the developers and admins of the game as she constantly breaks it and becomes insanely overpowered on a regular basis all from her own cluelessness.

As the title suggests she is the only person in the world to get scared of taking damage in a video game and puts all her stats into defense and literally nothing else entirely. After so much grinding the girl is such a tank she can just walk through enemies to kill them. It’s fun little things like this that make the show always worth a chuckle as her legendary player status continues to rise while in reality she just has no clue how to play RPGs whatsoever.

Boruto: Naruto Next Generations

If you think Black Clover had a great run of episodes this year in 2020 just wait until you see what Boruto had to offer. While not a perfect year, the series did take off for about 2 months thanks to a pandemic hiatus, once it came back it was stronger than ever. We came out of the gates running and kicked off the return of Boruto with a fantastic 20+ episode long story arc centered on introducing the main group of villains in the series, the Kara. The world of Boruto became much bigger and much darker, and the series in the last year has started to bring in a lot more manga content and moving at a brisker and faster pace, changing the status quo up quite a lot. Watching the New Team 7 grow so much and rise to these challenges was rewarding and I am so excited for the vessel story arc teased at the latest Jump Festa this December.

Ultimately though their first encounter, crushing defeat, and subsequent rematch with Deepa; a new anime only member of Kara meant to introduce the organization to anime viewers was an insane show de force of animation and one of the best battles in 2020 anime, dare I say. These kids are growing into great warriors and the stakes have been raised so much.

Cardfight!! Vanguard Gaiden IF

The 2018 reboot of the Vanguard series saw not only the card game get refreshed but the television anime as well. Dubbed the V Series by fans thanks to all the new card serial numbers starting with a V post reboot, these last two years have been fun and full of fan service for long time viewers of the anime. Gaiden IF is the final season of this reboot before the fourth entry of the franchise Overdress begins in 2021, and was a very strange and experimental one at that. Gaiden IF holding true to its name was a gaiden, or spinoff of the series that wasn’t necessary in the same canon as the regular show and more fascinating had zero card fights during the entire show--instead being one huge parody of card game animes in general and the beloved cast of characters the series has built over its ten year run.

It’s quite hilarious and a great round of fun, especially since there isn’t a main character in sight. Gaiden IF is carried entirely by a cast of side characters and former villains now taking over the role of protagonist. I’ve never seen a show go for an entire season with such minor characters playing such a huge role and that is one of the best aspects of it. Every week watching Ibuki Kouji, one of the most feared and powerful villains in the series being tormented and kicked around as a would-be hero now honestly carries the entire show.

But really, this was one of the first anime to air post pandemic hiatus and it was so refreshing to have Vanguard back. Every week it reminded me how much I loved the franchise and anime in general, it was such a delight to finally have something enjoyable back in my life after such a grueling pandemic hiatus of nothing.

Dragon Quest: Dai no Daibouken (2020)

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think there would be a modern adaptation of Dai no Daibouken, or The Adventures of Dai as it is being called in English now. This was one of my all time favorite Jump manga growing up and I always thought the original unfinished 1991 anime was the best we were ever going to get as far as animation goes, so to see this beautiful new series with its fantastic storyboarding and animation, great use of CG mixed in with hand drawn, and what seems like an outright declaration from the series itself that it will adapt the series in its entirety this time, it’s all too much.

This new Dai adaptation is like a dream anime that was made just for me. Every Saturday morning I giddily log on to watch the new episode just like being a kid again with Saturday morning cartoons. If you are sleeping on this show, don’t! You won’t regret watching it, Dai was one of the all time great Shonen Jump properties of the 90’s and is ready to show kids today what that era has to offer!

Gundam Build Divers Re:rise Season 2

Rerise was hands down one of my favorite shows last year when the first cour aired, and this year is no different either, dare I say once again this was probably my favorite show of the whole year. It’s hard to really go into what made this second cour so good without flat out spoiling all the best parts, and all the character development, and all the amazing battles, but suffice to say, this may be one of the best Gundam shows of the entire decade, Build series or not. Hell I ain’t afraid to say this kicked G-Tekketsu (Iron Blooded Orphans) ass this way to Sunday, I don’t care that this is a toy commercial for a much younger audience. Basically, watch Rerise, it’s going to be a great time.

If My Favorite Pop Idol Made It to the Budokan, I Would Die

This was another series that I expected very little from but ended up really enjoying each week. The basic premise is pretty simple, a super fan obsessed with an idol (singer) goes to insane lengths to support her and thinks her love will never be reciprocated but maybe it just might be. It’s kinda strange and an unusual romance series that isn’t really all that big on romance. In fact it seems to be much bigger on being informative about idol fan culture and nerd culture in general and poking fun at that while never being too mean spirited.

I think that’s the charm of this one. These are by all extent weird kinda creepy people that are obsessed over young girl singers but it never demonizes its cast for that nor does it ever go too far in the power fantasy of them ‘getting the girl’. It’s about the struggle of fan life and the tightknit and utterly bizarre groups of friends you can make in a fandom--and also maybe some love might happen along the way.

Jujutsu Kaisen

Another big modern shonen jump battle manga got its chance to be animated this year, and this time courtesy of studio Mappa who are the real stars of this party. Everything about Jujutsu Kaisen feels like Mappa throwing down the gauntlet and trying to one-up the highly praised and beloved Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba from last year that wowed everyone with UFOtable’s signature beautiful animation. It’s very fascinating to see the insane levels of gorgeous jaw dropping action set pieces between these two series, both raising the bar to ridiculous levels in their own ways. On top of the animation front though are some very easily lovable characters, a much darker feeling supernatural story than one may expect, and probably Crunchyroll’s best dub produced in 2020.

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken is another series from beloved auteur Masaaki Yuasa. Bringing with it his signature style and wonderful animation, his hardworking compatriots at studio Science Saro deliver something truly special, an anime about why anime is great and just how the heck it is made to begin with. I think one of my favorite aspects of Yuasa’s work is just how sincere almost his entire output is, and how you can really feel a certain kind of emotion and vision behind each work that is unique to it. For Eizouken it is definitely the joy of creation and what it means to pursue something creative. Easily one of the best watches of 2020 for both its visuals, sound design, characters with great chemistry that have to deliver very heavy and technical dialogue but do so in a really natural and enjoyable way--and hey the shows within the show that the girls make are also usually pretty interesting and good too.

MAJOR 2nd Season 2

I think my favorite aspect of this new middle school arc of MAJOR 2nd was seeing just how much Daigo has changed over the years since we last saw him in elementary school in the first season. No longer in little league and now trying to save his school’s baseball club, Daigo has grown into a strong leader and really feels natural with everyone he talks to. It’s a huge departure from the bullied and reclusive selfish kid he was in the first season. Seeing the kid grow up into somebody reliable and caring like this almost brings a tear to my eye.

It’s an old cliché but saving the falling apart club in your school is a classic underdog story and the fact that Daigo built his own team from the ground up really sells it. The team is largely made up of girls too which brings a really great girl power aspect to it as well. With just 3 boys and the rest of the positions being filled with females, the haphazard team Daigo put together not only has to show that nobodies can make it but that girls are just as good as the boys.

Rent-a-Girlfriend

I love trashy romcom harem anime, I will be the first to admit it. I am not even their target audience, in fact I am probably the exact opposite of their target audience yet I can’t get enough of this kind of garbage, and Rent-a-Girlfriend brings in the garbagest of garbage it can! The name says it all right there, our hero is literally so pathetic he has to pay girls money to go on dates with him. And he just continues to ruin everything around him with his constant lying and all around patheticness. He is like a blackhole of suck that will drag down any and all that go near him. What more can you even want?!

I am half facetious here of course, but to an extent what I said about Kazuya isn’t wrong. He’s the biggest loser around, and I love him. It’s fun to watch him squirm, and it’s nice to learn more about him and see he has a good side deep down too. In a lot of ways he’s probably one of the more relatable leads in these kinds of shows as he’s just as pathetic as all the rest of us who watch these kinds of shows are. But besides Kazuya there are plenty of nice leading ladies too and probably most surprisingly a fairly well fleshed out circle of friends that he hangs out with. Usually these kinds of shows will sideline the male friends of the leads and only focus on time between the lead and the girls, so it’s refreshing to see so much time spent with other boys in the show too.

Also as an addendum to anyone who watches the series dubbed, Aleks Le‘s performance as the lead role is maybe some of the best casting in modern anime dubbing I have ever heard. He kills it in this show. It’s a performance that carries the entire show.

Shadowverse

You might say, I saved the best for last, but honestly this was a coincidence. Shadowverse is a by-the-numbers card game anime. It starts very slow and very bland, and offers nothing new to the genre instead sticking entirely to the classic tropes and clichés of sports anime and Yu-Gi-Oh clones alike. That is for the first 12 episodes or so. It begins to evolve and gets a little more interesting from there, then something happens. Something I cannot explain. Something that makes no sense. Something that the production committee probably should not have allowed to occur. The show just goes absolutely, positively, certifiably, fucking insane.

Out of nowhere, the plot suddenly turns into a straight Neon Genesis Evangelion knock-off, complete with plugsuits, random nonsense mysticism from exotic religions, and soul crushing nightmarishly harsh treatment of the child protagonists. Suddenly time freezes for everyone but the main characters, and the totally original not Kabbalah, Tree of Woe, begins to end the world. Now armed with their new psychic powers (that they just have now out of nowhere!) the kids have to fight brain washed former enemies and loved ones alike that seek to destroy the world via assimilation into the darkness.

Suddenly we have moments like the above where Luca, the coldhearted and cool Shadowverse player who only ever began fighting in tournaments to earn money for his younger sick sister’s treatment has to face off against a possessed evil version of his sister who bemoans all the isolation he put her through, never being there with her, always away trying to earn money. She berates and destroys the young man’s heart for his well intentions. Luca with no other options has to put her down for the good of the world.

You know, for the 12 year old kids in the audience that signed up for a show about a cellphone app.

I haven't even gotten to the best part yet, the show isn’t over! There’s still 12 episodes left in the series and do you wanna know the best part?! The heroes already failed! The world blew up and everyone got sucked into a blackhole and died! That’s not a joke. The bad guys won. And there’s still another season worth of episodes to go! I am not kidding, this is how the show ended the year 2020! This is legendary, no fucks given status if I ever saw it. The best way to end 2020 if ever there was one:

Every week I anxiously log on to watch Shadowverse after it jumped the shark just to see what insanity happens next. This is Tommy Wiseau The Room energy levels of pure insane dribble. Shadowverse might be the biggest disaster of a card game anime of all time, and I simply cannot get enough of it now.

BONUS THOUGHTS For 2020

Random Anime Collecting: This year saw Discotek release three Case Closed/Detective Conan movies on blu-ray. Detective Conan is a series near and dear to my heart, and one I spent a lot of my college days obsessed over. This is a franchise I really went to great lengths to collect after Funimation reprinted many of the long time out of print volumes of the series back in 2013, and I bought them all back then. Buying new Detective Conan movies in 2020 felt super surreal, and also wonderful. I really hope I can keep buying more in 2021.

Hidive for these hard times: I didn’t include anything really from Sentai, I am not sure why, maybe none of what I watched this year would count as a favorite of mine, maybe I was just lazy and didn’t want to add to my list anymore. Honestly though I watched a lot of series this year on Hidive. I think my favorite has been the new dub of Pet Girl of Sakurasou.

A Lost Classic: Nobody is talking about God Mazinger finally getting released in English from Discotek and that kind of bums me out. The series was one I obsessed over when younger, especially because it was rare to find even raw footage of it lead alone subtitled. It was never subtitled in fact, so Discotek’s release is the first time it has ever been in English.

#anime #The 8th Son? Are You Kidding Me?#Ascendance of a Bookworm #Black Clover #Boruto #Boruto Naruto Next Generations #Bofuri #Cardfight!! Vanguard #Dragon Quest #Dragon Quest Dai no Daibouken #dragon quest the adventure of dai #Gundam Build Divers Re:rise #JuJutsu Kaisen #Keep YOur Hands Off Eizouken #MAJOR 2nd #Rent-a-girlfriend #Shadowverse

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yasbxxgie · 4 years ago

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Chris Rock wasn’t sure if he was hiding out or not.

On the Friday before Labor Day, he was speaking by phone from Yellow Springs, Ohio, the rustic village where he’d gone to spend time with Dave Chappelle, his friend and fellow comedian. Rock had previously traveled there in July to perform for a small, socially distanced audience as part of an outdoor comedy series Chappelle has been hosting. But Rock couldn’t decide if this return visit was meant to be clandestine. “I don’t know if it’s a secret,” he said quietly. “Maybe it is out here.” He couldn’t easily find the words to describe what he’d been doing just before this trip, either. “I mean, I guess I’ve been acting,” he said. After a short pause, he added, at a more assuredly Rock-like volume: “In a pandemic.”

In August, Rock had gone to Chicago to finish filming the fourth season of “Fargo,” the supremely arch FX crime drama, which makes its debut on Sept. 27. The show’s creator, Noah Hawley, had chosen him to star in its latest story line, set in the dapper gangland of 1950s Kansas City, Mo., and which casts Rock — the indefatigable standup and comic actor — as a mannered, methodical crime lord named Loy Cannon.

Maybe in a different universe where the show premiered in April as originally planned, the “Fargo” role has already put the 55-year-old Rock on a whole new career trajectory, opening the door to more serious and substantial roles and silencing the chorus of fans who still knowingly ask him for “one rib.” Maybe in this universe it still will.

But when the coronavirus pandemic struck, production on “Fargo” was halted in March, and Rock and his co-stars (including Jason Schwartzman, Ben Whishaw, Jessie Buckley and Andrew Bird) were all sent packing. Then at the end of the summer, Rock was summoned back to set, first to spend a week in quarantine and then to complete his acting work under new protocols and not a little bit of stress.

Other prominent projects of his have also been pushed back — he has a starring role in “Spiral,” a reboot of the “Saw” horror series, whose release was postponed a full year to May 2021. But Rock wasn’t mourning the delay of any professional gratification, having spent the spring and summer realigning his values for the new reality of pandemic life. “Maybe for like a day or two, I was like, ‘Oh, me,’” he said with an exaggerated whimper. “But honestly, it was more like, I’ve got to get to my kids and make sure my family is safe.”

In that time he has also heard countless Americans echoing the lesson he offered in the opening minutes of his 2018 standup special, “Tamborine,” where he spoke humorously but emphatically about the ongoing incidents of police violence against Black people. As he said in that routine, law enforcement was among the professions that simply cannot allow “a few bad apples”: “American Airlines can’t be like, ‘You know, most of our pilots like to land. We just got a few bad apples that like to crash in the mountains.’”

Now Rock was feeling mistrustful about the power of his comedy to do anything other than entertain, and unsure when he would get to perform it again for large audiences. And he was admittedly wary about this very interview, explaining with a chuckle that when he talks to the print media, he said, “You have to be comfortable with being boring. If you’re not comfortable with being boring, occasionally, you’re going to get in trouble.”

Not that Rock was ever boring in a wide-ranging conversation that encompassed “Fargo” and his broader career; his latest observations on a nation grappling simultaneously with a pandemic and a reinvigorated longing for racial equality; the resurfacing of a past video where Jimmy Fallon impersonated him in blackface; and of course, President Trump. (“No one has less compassion for humans than a landlord,” he said.) Even in the absence of an audience, Rock was candid, increasingly animated, uncommonly nimble and always looking for the laugh. Now, let the trouble begin.

These are edited excerpts from that conversation.

Was there a time when you thought this “Fargo” season was never going to get finished and that the series might not be seen for a long time, if ever?

I’ve had weird little things in my career — I was supposed to do this Bob Altman movie, “Hands on a Hard Body.” We were on the phone a lot, going over my character and I was so excited about doing the movie. And he died. I was supposed to be Jimmy Olsen in “Superman” with Nic Cage [“Superman Lives,” which was canceled in the late 1990s]. I remember going to Warner Bros., doing a costume fitting. Hanging out with Tim [Burton], who I idolized. Like, I’m hanging out with the guy that made “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure” and he’s showing me the models of the sets for “Superman.” So yeah, I definitely thought there’s a chance this might not happen. Fortunately for everyone involved, that was not the case.

How did Noah Hawley approach you about “Fargo”?

It was a weird day, because it was the day of the Emmy nominations and I didn’t get nominated for my last special [“Tamborine”]. I wouldn’t say I was down down, but I was a little disappointed, and then I got a call from my agent that Noah Hawley wanted to meet with me.

I get acting offers, but I get more hosting offers than anything. It is not uncommon for somebody to want me to do a high-priced wedding or bar mitzvah — a few years ago, I officiated the wedding of Daniel Ek, the owner of Spotify, and Bruno Mars was the wedding band. I think I sat next to [Mark] Zuckerberg at the reception. [Laughs.] I just assumed Noah had some crazy request like that. The only reason I went is because I love “Fargo.” And I get there and he offers me this part.

How did he explain the character of Loy Cannon to you?

He said 1950s gangster, so I know exactly who he’s talking about. My father was born in 1933. It’s not like “12 Years a Slave.” It’s literally a guy my grandfather’s age.

In the first episode, we see Loy pitching the idea for credit cards to an uninterested white banker. Is he a man who wants to be part of polite society, but it doesn’t want him?

I mean, I remember having a production overall deal at HBO and I came in with one person to sell a talk show with them. And they wouldn’t. That person’s name is Wendy Williams. [Laughs.] That’s $100 million that I never made. I was selling Leslie Jones to people, to agents and managers, for 10 years before she got on “S.N.L.” I’m very familiar with selling a no-brainer that people go, “Huh? Why that?”

Is he different from characters you’ve played before, because he’s older and we don’t know how much longer he’s going to be sitting on his throne?

Yeah, it’s one of those jobs: Because of how well it pays, you could be killed at any moment. It is the best part I’ve ever, ever, ever had. I hope it’s not the best part I ever have. Hey, Morgan Freeman’s done a hundred movies since “Shawshank Redemption.” But that’s the best part he ever had.

This role feels like it’s declaring itself as being outside the realm of what you’re best known for. Are you thinking differently about your acting career and where you hope to go with it?

My casting isn’t as weird as it seems if you really watch “Fargo.” Key and Peele are in the first season and Brad Garrett’s amazing in Season 2. Hey, it’s my turn, OK? I want to work on good stuff. Everything I’ve done hasn’t been great, but I was always striving for greatness. I loved “Marriage Story.” I’d kill for something like that. [Laughs.] You see what [Adam] Sandler did with “Uncut Gems.” But you’ve got to get the call and be ready when your number’s called.

Your 2014 film “Top Five,” which you wrote, directed and starred in, was very personal for you. Do you want to make more movies like that?

That’s a vein I intend to keep going in. When I made “Top Five,” I got divorced. And like most people that get divorced, I needed money. [Laughs.] I had to pay for stuff. I also went on tour. Because of Covid, it doesn’t look like there’s going to be any serious touring until 2022. So I’m a writer-director-actor right now. I’m working on some scripts in the “Top Five” vein and I honestly hope to direct, some time after the new year.

How much of “Fargo” did you have to finish during the pandemic?

It was like an episode and a half — the whole last episode, and some scenes from the one before it. It’s weird, quarantine when you’re acting. Acting can be isolating, anyway, and then you throw quarantine into that. You’re in solitary confinement with Netflix and Uber Eats. But let’s not get it too twisted. Somebody that’s in solitary is like, shut the [expletive] up. And then to actually act and get tested every other day, and wear a mask whenever you’re not saying your lines. And be cognizant of which zone you’re in. Because for Zone A, everyone’s been tested, but in Zone B, not everyone’s been tested. Zone C is just, everyone’s got Covid.

You performed at one of Chappelle’s live shows in July. What was that like for you?

When you’re in the clubs, you learn the rain crowd is the best crowd. Any time it’s raining, they really want to be there. The pandemic crowd is really good. “Dude, not only do we want to be here, there is nothing else to do. There’s nothing else to watch. Thank you.”

What did you talk about?

I talked about our political whatever. America. Part of the reason we’re in the predicament we’re in is, the president’s a landlord. No one has less compassion for humans than a landlord. [Laughs.] And we’re shocked he’s not engaged.

Did you ever see that movie “The Last Emperor,” where like a 5-year-old is the emperor of China? There’s a kid and he’s the king. So I’m like, it’s all the Democrats’ fault. Because you knew that the emperor was 5 years old. And when the emperor’s 5 years old, they only lead in theory. There’s usually an adult who’s like, “OK, this is what we’re really going to do.” And it was totally up to Pelosi and the Democrats. Their thing was, “We’re going to get him impeached,” which was never going to happen. You let the pandemic come in. Yes, we can blame Trump, but he’s really the 5-year-old.

Put it this way: Republicans tell outright lies. Democrats leave out key pieces of the truth that would lead to a more nuanced argument. In a sense, it’s all fake news.

Looking back at the beginning of “Tamborine,” the first several minutes is you talking about police violence and raising Black children in a racist country. Does it feel futile when you discuss these issues and it doesn’t change anything?

I remember when “Tamborine” dropped, I got a lot of flak over that cop thing. There was a lot of people trying to start a fire that never really picked up. It’s so weird that, two years later, it’s right on. I remember watching the news and Trump said “bad apples.” It was like, you did it! You did it!

But you told people two years ago —

I did. But so did Public Enemy. So did KRS-One. So did Marvin Gaye. There’s something about seeing things on camera. If O.J. kills Nicole on camera, the trial is two days. [Laughs.] It’s two days trying to figure out what kind of cell he deserves. It’s just Johnnie going, [Johnnie Cochran voice] “Well I think he needs at least a 12-by-8. Can he have ESPN?” That would be the whole trial.

But there was videotape of Rodney King’s beating, too. It doesn’t assure any particular outcome.

Yeah, man. Put it this way: This is the second great civil rights movement. And Dr. King and those guys were amazing. But they knew nothing about money. They didn’t ask for anything. At the end of the day, the things we got — it was just, hey, can you guys be humane? All we got was, like, humanity. If they had it to do all over again, in hindsight, there would be some attention paid to the financial disparity of all the years of — let’s not even count slavery, let’s just count Jim Crow.

You’re talking about a system that really didn’t end until about 1973. And I’m born in ’65 in South Carolina. I’m probably in a segregated wing of a hospital — there’s no way in the world I was next to a white baby. Even if the hospital wasn’t segregated, I was in a whole other room and that room didn’t have the good milk and the good sheets. My parents couldn’t own property in certain neighborhoods when I was born. There was an economic disparity there, and that was not addressed in the original civil rights movement. It was a huge oversight. So there’s no money and there’s no land. If you don’t have either one of those, you don’t really have much.

Did you want to participate in the recent protests?

Me and my kids, we looked from afar. But we’re in the middle of a pandemic, man, and I know people who have absolutely passed from it. I’m like, dude, this Covid thing is real.

You’ve been telling audiences for years that racism isn’t going away and remains a potent force in America. Do you feel like you’ve seen circumstances improve at all?

It’s real. It’s not going away. I said this before, but Obama becoming the president, it’s progress for white people. It’s not progress for Black people. It’s the Jackie Robinson thing. It’s written like he broke a barrier, as if there weren’t Black people that could play before him. And that’s how white people have learned about racism. They think, when these people work hard enough, they’ll be like Jackie. And the real narrative should be that these people, the Black people, are being abused by a group of people that are mentally handicapped. And we’re trying to get them past their mental handicaps to see that all people are equal.

Humanity isn’t progress — it’s only progress for the person that’s taking your humanity. If a woman’s in an abusive relationship and her husband stops beating her, you wouldn’t say she’s made progress, right? But that’s what we do with Black people. We’re constantly told that we’re making progress. The relationship we’re in — the arranged marriage that we’re in — it’s that we’re getting beat less.

Jimmy Fallon drew significant criticism this past spring for a 20-year-old clip of himself playing you in blackface on “Saturday Night Live.” How did you feel about that segment?

Hey, man, I’m friends with Jimmy. Jimmy’s a great guy. And he didn’t mean anything. A lot of people want to say intention doesn’t matter, but it does. And I don’t think Jimmy Fallon intended to hurt me. And he didn’t.

There’s been a wider push to expunge blackface from any movies or TV shows where it previously appeared. Have people taken it too far?

If I say they are, then I’m the worst guy in the world. There’s literally one answer that ends my whole career. Blackface ain’t cool, OK? That’s my quote. Blackface is bad. Who needs it? It’s so sad, we live in a world now where you have to say, I am so against cancer. “I just assumed you liked cancer.” No, no, no, I am so against it. You have to state so many obvious things you’re against.

Who do you hang with these days? Who’s your peer group?

I hang with Dave [Chappelle]. I hang with my kids. I hang with Nelson George. There’s not a lot of hanging in the Covid world. The better question is, who do you FaceTime with?

So who do you FaceTime with?

The other day I realized I’ve never met an elderly person that was cared for by their friends. Every elderly person I know that’s got any trouble is cared for by a spouse or a child. Sometimes they have like five kids but only one helps. Where are your friends? Your friends are probably not going to be there when it really counts. [Laughs.] When my dad was dying in the hospital, where were his friends? My grandmother, where were her friends? Don’t get me wrong, you get sick in your 20s, your friends will come to the hospital. It’s an adventure. [Laughs.] You get sick in your 60s, they farm it out. “You go Wednesday and I’ll go Sunday.”

Enjoy them while you have them. But if you think your friends are your long-term solution to loneliness, you’re an idiot.

#chris rock #black face #amerikkka #racism #racial hierarchy #donlad trump #comedy #black comedy #comedians #black comedians #interview #interviews #the new york times #fargo fx #covid-19 #covid 19 #long reads

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duhragonball · 5 years ago

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Dragon Ball Super Movie 1: Broly (1/2)

This ended up taking longer than I expected, so I decided to break it up into sections. The first Dragon Ball Super movie premiered in Japan on December 14, 2018, and then in the U.S. and Canada on January 16, 2019.

After Resurrection F, just about every episode of Dragon Ball Super aired, and this movie takes place after all of that. So just to get everyone up to speed: Beerus had a friendly tournament with his counterpart in Universe 6, and the King of Everything liked the idea so much that he threw his own event called the Tournament of Power, which saw eight universes square off in teams of ten. But our universe was short-handed, so Goku arranged for Frieza to be brought back to life for one day so he could participate, and then Whis revived Frieza for keeps after Beerus was pleased with Frieza’s performance.

This movie is important for a few reasons. First, it features Aya Hisakawa as Bulma, the first time the role has been recast following Hiromi Tsuru’s tragic death in 2017.

Second, this movie reintroduces the Broly character. In the DBZ films, he was a side-story, non-canon villain, but this movie works him into the main canon. Well... as canonical as Dragon Ball Super gets, I suppose. Similarly, this movie also does the same thing with Gogeta.

Third, this one currently stands as the highest-grossing Dragon Ball movie ever, and one of the top-grossing anime films of all time. I looked at the Wikipedia list, and it’s at #12. But Resurrection F is at #19, so I think it’s safe to assume that any future Dragon Ball movies might break the record. Even so, I knew this one was a bigger deal when I went to see it. Res F only played in my town for three days, I think. Broly ran for maybe three weeks and I couldn’t see it on the first try because it was sold out that night. If it’s true that Akira Toriyama came out of retirement because of how bad Dragon Ball: Evolution was, then I think it’s safe to say that he’s exorcised that demon.

Fourth, this movie’s box office success and popularity led to the downfall of American voice actor and sex pest Vic Mignogna. Vic has played Broly in all of his past movies, as well as the video games and any other localized Broly media. But he’s also garnered a reputation over the decades for creeping on women and girls at fan conventions. DBS: Broly put him in the limelight again, and I’m pretty sure this caused a lot of people to ask why we’re still putting up with this perv in the year 2019. A few weeks after the movie premiered in the U.S., RoosterTeeth cut ties with him and re-cast all the parts he played for their shows. A week later, Funimation did the same thing. Quite stupidly, Vic tried to sue his way out of this mess, taking Funimation and two of its voice actresses to court for defamation and conspiracy, and the case was dismissed with prejudice on October 4. The last I heard, he was doing public appearances in the basements of creepy malls. Maybe there’s still venues willing to do business with him, but as I understand it, most anime conventions have recognized that he just isn’t worth the bad publicity.

Anyway, it’s kind of weird to be doing this with a movie that just came out eleven months ago. This will probably be more text-heavy than usual, since I have a lot of things to say about this movie that I never got around to earlier in the year.

For example, what the hell is this thing?

All right, so the first... I dunno, fifteen minutes?... of this movie is a flashback of what Planet Vegeta was like before Frieza destroyed it. For clarity: the main story of this movie is set in Age 780, the same year as the Tournament of Power in the DBS TV series, while this flashback takes place in Age 739.... I guess? The Dragon Ball Wiki contends that Goku and Broly were born in Age 737, and they look about two years old in this part, but I dunno.

Anyway, King Cold has come to Planet Vegeta to inform King Vegeta that he’s retiring from the space-villain business and putting his son Frieza in charge. This was always very satisfying to me, because I never quite understood King Cold’s role in the Frieza organization. Turns out he used to run the whole thing, and then he handed it over to Frieza, which allows him to retain a lot of power without actually having to run things directly.

It also explains why the Saiyans lasted as long as they did under Frieza’s rule. Conquering the Saiyans happened under King Cold’s regime. Once Frieza took over, he spent some time reconsidering that decision. Anyway, Frieza hands out scouters to King Vegeta, explaining that they’re the new latest and greatest technology for detecting and quantifying powerful fighters. He even shoots down some Saiyan snipers just to demonstrate how well they work.

King Vegeta doesn’t like this turn of events, maybe because he had hoped King Cold would grant the Saiyans independence when he retired. But there’s no much he can do about it, so he consoles himself in his son, Prince Vegeta. The tests show that Vegeta has enormous potential, and the King is certain that his son will one day grow powerful enough to overthrow Frieza and rule the universe himself.

Then he sees another life support tank with another Saiyan baby in it, and he throws a hissy fit about it. See, Saiyans in this era raise their newborns in these tanks, and this particular tank farm is for babies singled out for having elite fighting potential. The guys who run the place explain to him that Colonel Paragus’s son had exceptional test results, which may even exceed Prince Vegeta’s. The King tries to see for himself, but the measuring device overloads and explodes.

Then this lady walks up and tells him Broly might possibly become the next Legendary Super Saiyan, which doesn’t exactly put the king at ease.

So King Vegeta orders Broly to be shipped off to the planetoid of Vampa. When Paragus learns of this, he demands an explanation, since you only do that sort of thing for weaker, low-class Saiyan babies. That’s what Raditz said way back in DBZ episode 2, you know, but Broly’s already been shown to be far stronger than this. Also, Vampa’s a dump and everyone knows it, so even if Broly subjugates the planet, no one would want to buy it, so what’s the point. King Vegeta explains that Broly is probably some kind of mutant, and no matter how strong he may be, he’ll eventually lose control of that power and become dangerous. At least this way he’ll be on Vampa instead of being dead. But Paragus thinks the king is only doing this out of jealousy. He can’t handle that a mere colonel’s son tested better than the prince, so he’s sweeping Broly under the rug.

So Paragus hijacks a spaceship and flies to Vampa himself to rescue Broly. His plan is to desert King Vegeta and the Frieza Force and raise Broly on some other planet until he can make Broly into a great warrior. Another Saiyan named Beets tries to talk him out of it, but ends up getting roped into the hijacking. Paragus foolishly crash lands the ship on Vampa, and when Beets says he can’t repair the ship, Paragus shoots him so the rations will last longer. I like this scene, because when they first arrived on Vampa, Paragus made Beets come with him, fearing that he’d take off and leave them if he stayed behind. Beets swore he’d never do that, but Paragus doesn’t believe in trustworthy Saiyans. So his shooting Beets is just proof of his cynicism towards his own people.

Then we flash forward another five years. That seems kind of fishy to me, but okay.

Bardock and his comrade are on their way back to Planet Vegeta, because Frieza ordered them all to come home. Bardock is suspicious, because if Frieza had orders for them, he could have just relayed them by radio, and if he has weapons to distribute, then there’d still be no need to have every Saiyan on the planet at the same time to hand them all out.

I know people don’t care much for the Dragon Ball Minus version of Bardock, but it does make a lot more sense than the “Father of Goku” version. This movie expands on the Dragon Ball Minus comic by explaining Bardock’s reasoning in greater detail. The other Saiyans simply can’t believe that Frieza would do anything drastic to them, mainly because they work for Frieza and do what he wants. But Bardock knows that the Saiyans dislike Frieza, and that the feeling is probably mutual, and he might just be planning to do something about it.

Then one of his pals mentions that Frieza’s administrators have been asking around about the Super Saiyan legend, and that’s the final piece of the puzzle. Bardock realizes that Frieza’s worried about a Saiyan uprising, which normally wouldn’t be a threat, unless a Super Saiyan emerges.

The point I’m driving at here is that he doesn’t really need psychic powers to see all this coming. He just happens to be smart enough and paranoid enough to figure out how Frieza thinks. It’s not as dramatic as “Father of Goku”, but it’s still effective.

The thing I tried to do last year was to write a fanfic that combined this version of Bardock with the “FoG” version. Basically, to have Gine in the story and have her cope with her husband having doomsday visions. I really ought to get back to that sometime.

As for Frieza, his people report that the Super Saiyan and Super Saiyan God are nothing more than old stories, but Frieza insists that he had to be certain. Even so, he plans to blow up all the Saiyans anyway, since he’s got them all together in one place. I don’t know, maybe he only asked about Super Saiyans because he was afraid this upcoming attack might provoke a Super Saiyan survivor.

Moving on, if you know the story of Dragon Ball Minus, you know what’s coming next. Bardock meets up with his wife Gine, and I dig this chubby Saiyan working at the meat-packing place. I think that’s my favorite part of this movie, really, just seeing all the diverse kinds of Saiyans running around on this planet. Fat ones, thin ones, weak ones. That one lady looked like some kind of scientist, and the guy in King Vegeta’s court looked like a butler or something. It’s a nice change from DBZ, where every Saiyan extra ended up looking like Raditz, more or less. And every Saiyan from Universe 6 looked like they were made of noodles.

Bardock asks about their kids, and Gine explains that Raditz has been assigned to off-world duty with Prince Vegeta. As for Kakarot, he’s still in his tank, which just sort of sits in the middle of their home. Bardock plans to steal a space pod and send Kakarot to another planet, since he thinks Frieza’s going to blow up Planet Vegeta soon, because he believes the Legendary Super Saiyan might appear.

Gine is upset with this, obviously. What really threw me when I first watched the movie was how all these characters speak of the Legendary Super Saiyan. No one seems to quite believe in the idea, or maybe it’s more accurate to say that they don’t particularly care if it’s true or not, since it would have happened so long ago. But there’s a forboding sense that it could happen again. King Vegeta are looking forward to it, because they think their sons could fill that role. But Bardock and Gine dread it, because that dumb story convinced Frieza to kill them all, and it’s going to get their son shot into space. Anyway, anytime someone mentions the Super Saiyan in this movie, someone else always goes “You mean the Legendary Super Saiyan?” No, mate, I was referring to the ordinary kind you see on every street corner.

Anyway, this was why I started writing my fic, because this legend was such a big deal in early DBZ. No one in-universe seems to know anything about the previous Super Saiyan. Even if the guy never existed, you’d expect there to be some details. My assumption is that this was all lost over the past thousand years, to the point where all anyone remembers is that some Saiyan got tired of being nice and decided to go ape shitt. And that run of destruction was so memorable that people still talk about it a thousand years later, even after everything else got forgotten. For me, that’s a writing prompt, and I’ve spent the last four years trying to write a story and build an OC who could make Frieza nervous enough to blow up an entire planet of his own henchmen.

So when I watched this movie, I sort of worried that one of the characters might drop some new, unwanted lore about the Legendary Super Saiyan. Up to this point, all we knew about the legend was what Vegeta recalled, but for all I knew Gine studied up on the subject when she took that mythology course at Saiyan University. “Super Saiyan? You mean like Topotay, the seven-foot-tall heteronormative man who hated cooking and never left his home planet?”

So Bardock prepares the pod, and when Gine asks him why he’s bothering, especially when they can’t save themselves, he explains that it’s because he spends all his time fighting that he wants to try to save something for a change. I like that a lot, because so much of the Saiyan culture in DBZ is extrapolated from Raditz and Vegeta’s perception of it, which is slanted towards ultra-violence and ruthlessness-as-virtue. And sure, there’s plenty of that. We get a lot of it in this very movie. But there’s two sides to the coin. Paragus was genuinely worried about his son, and Beets seemed to be sympathetic to him as well. Bardock embraced his wife in front of someone, and now this. Character traits aren’t hard rules. It isn’t out-of-character for a violent man to crave peace once in a while, or for a brutal warrior to finally appreciate compassion, especially when he thinks he’s about to die.

The big twist here is that Bardock sent Goku to Earth to save his life. He was not, as Raditz assumed, deployed to Earth by the Saiyan government to conquer it. In fact, Bardock chose the Earth specifically because it was far enough out of the way that he didn’t think Frieza would bother with it. Gine would later contact Raditz to inform him of all of this, but she left out the details of why they did this, probably for fear of being overheard on the communicators.

In orbit, Frieza’s aides point out that the Saiyans make up half of their fighting force, but Frieza doesn’t care. He knows the Saiyans aren’t going to quietly tolerate his rule forever, so it’s better to deal with them now. That’s how afraid of the Super Saiyan he is. He’d rather blow up half his military than worry about it. Presumably, King Cold never cared in the first place. He could barely rememer what a Super Saiyan was, even while he was watching Trunks turn into one.

Anyway, Frieza does the fingerbang thing, Bardock tries to stop it, but he fails and gets zapped back in time to the Episode of Bardock special, and the planet explodes. We’ve seen this moment maybe a dozen times by now, but I do like the part where Frieza monitors the destruction on his scouter, and the number of power signals coming from the planet count down to zero.

Elsewhere, Prince Vegeta’s group hears about this, and they find the whole thing suspicious, because the official story is that the planet got hit by a meteor. Vegeta and Raditz don’t particularly care. They both have brothers off-world, but they dismiss them as unimportant weaklings.

Then we finally flash forward to the main story of the movie. Baby Kakarot has grown up into Son Goku, the hero of Earth, and Vegeta lives here too, and he’s married the richest lady on the planet. They both turned into the next Legendary Super Saiyan, and recently they just got done teaming up with Frieza to win the Tournament of Power, proving that their universe deserves to exist. But Goku and Vegeta still want to get stronger. Goku, because he wants to fight all those strong guys he met from the other universes, and Vegeta because he’s convinced that Frieza will attack the Earth again now that he’s returned to life. Also, Beerus and Whis are here, for no particularly good reason. That seems to be the Dragon Ball Super brand in a nutshell. What made Movie 14 so good was how they introduced them as new characters, made them the focus of the story, and had them shake things up. Since then, they just hang out on the sidelines and eat snacks.

This works out, though, because Bulma gets a call from Trunks about someone breaking into her lab and stealing the six Dragon Balls she had collected, as well as the Dragon Radar. They quickly realize it was Frieza’s henchmen who did it, and so they head off to find the 7th Dragon Ball before they do. Whis wants to tag along, but Beerus doesn’t, so she leaves her baby behind and asks him to keep an eye on her. D’awwwwwwwwww.

On the way to the ice continent where the last ball is located, Goku asks why Bulma was collecting the Dragon Balls in the first place. She admits that she wanted to ask Shenron to de-age her by about five years. Just five? Bulma figures that if she makes herself too young all at once, people will think she had plastic surgery. Why not just get plastic surgery? Wait, I’m asking the wrong question here. Don’t people already think Bulma already had work done? She hasn’t aged since the Cell Games.

So what does Frieza plan to wish for? When he first appeared back in early DBZ, he wanted to become immortal. His aide, whose name I have forgotten, asks if he’s going to try that again, but Frieza says no.

I’m confused by his reasoning, but Frieza explains that while he was dead and in hell, he realized that it was torture being unable to die or move, so immortality holds no meaning for him. Okay, but that only happened to you because you died. Does Frieza think that becoming immortal would leave him unable to move? Or is he just afraid of getting trapped in some situation where death would be the only release, like when Garlic Junior got trapped in the Dead Zone?

At the very least, I’ll give credit where it’s due: it looks like Toriyama finally gave Frieza a bit of character development to play into his resurrection. My big complaint about Resurrection F was that Frieza came back to life and immediately went right back to doing all the stupid shit that got him killed in the first place, and it seemed like the 15 years he spent in hell had no effect on him whatsoever. He wasn’t afraid of dying again, nor was he dismayed by the knowledge of what awaits him on the others side. Now, in this movie, he at least has some perspective. Shenron could make Frieza immortal, but he can’t make him stronger than Goku, so maybe he’s worried that Goku might throw him into a black hole or something.

Even so, it was weird to watch this movie and see a Frieza who utterly does not care about becoming immortal, because he seemed so obsessed with it back on Namek. But now that I’ve watched DBZ in Japanese, I’ve noticed that Frieza never seemed all that concerned about it. He’s not Voldemort, who was terrified of death and sought to conquer it, or Kars, who wanted to eliminate his few remaining weaknesses. Frieza only seemed to want immortality back then because it was the only thing he could think of that he didn’t already have, and maybe to screw with Vegeta, who saw the Dragon Balls as the only way to beat Frieza. Still, I find it odd that Frieza isn’t even a little worried about what’ll happen to him when he finally kicks the bucket. His aide suggests that he might wish for an invincible-but-still-mortal body, and Frieza says that would take all the fun out of “the game”. So I guess he’s adopted an Android 17 outlook on life? Well, so be it, but he knows he’s going to get hung up on the happy fun tree again whenever he dies of old age, so why doesn’t that weigh on him? In Movie 15, he seemed to think he only ended up there because he died on Earth. Does he think if he dies someplace else, that he’ll go to a better hell with free wifi and room service? If I were Frieza, I’d be doing some serious churchin’ up.

Anyway, his other, cooler aide, Berryblue, already has this figured out: Frieza wants to wish to be taller. Specifically, five centimeters taller, so that it won’t be too conspicuous. I really like Berryblue, even though this is about the only thing she does in this movie. Both of these aides appeared in the flashback, implying that they’ve been with Frieza for decades and somehow survived his fifteen-year death. There would have been no need for someone like her on his Namek campaign, but the absence of characters like her was exactly why I never cared much for Frieza’s classic henchmen. They were all jacked up thugs constantly licking Frieza’s boots and not much else. Berryblue’s not afraid of this guy at all, probably because she changed his space-diapers when he was little, and if he kills her, he won’t have anyone to bring him space-wine from the ship’s space-cellar.

So why doesn’t Frieza just use his second form, the one he used to fight Piccolo on Namek? That form was like eight feet tall, but also fuck Frieza’s second form. He only had those forms to regulate his power, and these days he doesn’t even use them. He wants to be taller in his default state. But he doesn’t want to be too tall all at once, or it wouldn’t look natural. This from the guy who went out of his way to turn mustard yellow at full power.

Personally, I’m torn on this whole gag. It is kind of funny that Frieza is after the same dumb kind of wish that Bulma was, but it’s also kind of stupid that Frieza is after the exact same thing that Commander Red wanted way back in the original Dragon Ball. The problem with bringing Frieza back is that no one knows what to do with him. They already had him attack Earth again, die again, and come back again. We’ve even seen him team up with the good guys. But DBS ended with him going off on his merry way, and it looks like he’s rebuilding the Frieza Force, but that feels kind of hollow while he has Goku and Vegeta on his mind. Having him make another go at the Dragon Balls is a solid move, except the Dragon Balls alone aren’t a motivation because you still need to have something to wish for. This whole “5cm taller” thing just feels like a gag to cover the lack of an actual answer to the problem.

Meanwhile, let’s check in on these two. The green lady is Cheelai, and the orange guy is Leemo. They’re in the Frieza Force, but not as warriors. Leemo’s just a transport pilot, and I don’t really know what Cheelai’s official job is, but their current assignment is to search the galaxy for strong warriors to recruit for Frieza’s army. When you think about it, Frieza’s pretty bad at this whole “private army” business. King Cold left him the entire Saiyan race, the Ginyu Force, Zarbon, Dodoria, and whoever else. First, Frieza wiped out the Saiyans, which made up half of his soldiers. Then he deployed his finest troops to Namek, where they al got taken out by Goku and Vegeta, two of the Saiyans he neglected to kill. Then Frieza gets himself and King Cold killed on a pointless revenge mission, leaving Sorbet to try to keep the whole thing going. Across a fifteen year period, Sorbet probably loses a lot of good soldiers to insurrections and desertion. Then Frieza comes back and assembles an army of 1000 warriors, and he kills all of them on another pointless revenge mission.

So yeah, in this scene, Cheelai laments that there just aren’t many warriors out there with a power level greater than 1000. Well there used to be, until Frieza got them all killed. Now he’s down to scrubs like Leemo, who’s worked for Frieza for decades, but can’t fight worth a damn. According to Cheelai, she only joined up because she stole a spaceship or something, and knew the authorities wouldn’t chase after her if she was in the Frieza Force. Really? I don’t think Frieza would go out of his way to personally avenge or rescue her if the Galactic Patrol caught her.

There’s a cute gag here where Cheelai mentions how Frieza turned out to be shorter than she expected, and Leemo warns her never to say that again if she values her life, recalling how Berryblue mentioned that Frieza used to execute some of his men for mocking his height behind his back. Gee, why could Frieza have a staffing problem? This is why Cell is the best villain. He’s plenty tall, and he’s not so friggin’ insecure, and he can handle his own shit.

Anyway, the pair pick up a distress signal and it turns out it’s coming from Vampa, where they find Paragus striking... a pose. Yes. It’s like he knew he’d be wearing a shower curtain over his legs for the rest of the movie so he wanted to flaunt his goodies now while he still had the chance.

Paragus is now old and grey-headed, but he still has a power level of 4200, which is weaker than Nappa, but still good enough that Leemo and Cheelai are thrilled to take him back on their ship. But then they get attacked by the giant head lice on Vampa, and Paragus calls for Broly to save them...

...And Cheelai is astounded by his power, which is too high to measure on the scouter. That... doesn’t mean a whole lot these days, unless they increased the scouters’ range since the Freiza Saga. Hers doesn’t explode, at least, so they managed to improve that much in the past twenty years.

So on the ride back, Cheelai spends some time with Broly and gives him ration bars, or maybe it’s just candy, I dunno. Paragus tells Broly to thank her, but she finds it too formal, and teaches the “Okay” sign as she tells Broly to just say “thank you” and leave it at that.

Aboard Frieza’s ship, Paragus explains that he had to cut off Broly’s tail because he was getting too powerful, and that Broly would have these surges in power where he would lose all control of himself. To deal with these, he put a shock collar on Broly’s neck, and he keeps the remote in his fanny pack. He demonstrates how it works, and Leemo and Cheelai are horrified.

But they’re not so horrified that they balk at their reward for finding these two. Apparently everyone in DBZ outer space gets paid in ball-point pens.

After Leemo and Cheelai leave, Frieza explains to Paragus that Planet Vegeta was destroyed a long time ago, though he neglects to mention that he did the destroying. Not that Paragus cares, since he gave up on ever going back there because of King Vegeta. Frieza mentions that Prince Vegeta is still alive on Earth, and offers to help him get revenge.

Notably in this scene, Frieza refers to Prince Vegeta as “Vegeta IV,” which makes his dad King Vegeta III. It’s nice to finally have that settled after all these years.

I hadn’t noticed this until now, but there’s another lady on the ship besides Cheelai and Berryblue. Probably not that remarkable, since Cheelai already explained that Frieza was hiring more women now that he couldn’t afford to be picky. There are sources that say Frieza’s organization just didn’t allow women, period, but I always find those sort of absolutes hard to believe. There’s also been talk that Frieza’s species has no gender, which is entirely plausible, but then why should Frieza bother with making sexist hiring policies?

Wait, maybe Frieza got frustrated with it. Like, he kept misgengering his staff, and he didn’t like looking foolish, so he just went, you know what, no women. That actually makes some sense, especially in light of this movie, where he’s on a hiring spree for his ultra-important campaign to grow two whole inches.

Oh, wait, I just remembered that tough-looking lady they introduced for Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot. I guess she was working for Frieza the whole time, but maybe he made special exceptions for quality talent. Or he separated his crews by gender, so whenever he boards a different ship someone has to tell him which pronouns to use. This is why Cell’s the best villain, because if you tell him your pronouns, he’ll just fucking remember instead of being a jackass about it. All thanks to Piccolo’s cells. Also Nappa’s.

When Broly and Paragus come down for some food, Cheelai invites them to their table, but Paragus isn’t interested in chatting, and Broly doesn’t seem to know how. Cheelai asks him why he’s still wearing the green fur around his waist, but when she tries to touch it he flips out, and she backs off. Mostly, I just like this shot of Cheelai here.

Also this one, where she gets upset with Paragus for not allowing Broly to tell his tragic backstory. But we’ll have to save that for the second half of this review.

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memorylang · 5 years ago

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Easter Epilogue in America | #35 | April 2020

Friday, March 6, 2020, I disembarked in North Las Vegas, Nevada, to a home I hadn’t lived in since high school 2015. I’ve been here a couple months now, by time of writing.

With today’s stories, I bring you from my first days and weeks back in the States through April’s end. I share reverse culture’s shock’s role in my readjustment to Vegas life, as COVID-19 grew across the States. But I’m a hopeful man, so you know my stories end well.

As a good friend reminded me the night I learned all Peace Corps Volunteers had to go, "The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in His way" (Psalm 37:23). Consider this the epilogue to my very fruitful, memorable, and—dare I write—life-changing adventures. I've no regrets.

Overture

Week 1 (March 6-12) was a blessing, having just returned to an America vaguely like the one I knew. Gosh, I love fruit. Thankfully, a few friends saw me.

Then Week 2 (March 13-19) brought big changes and new deadlines. But, meanwhile, Week 3 (March 20-26) began my home improvement operations. The following weekend saw a drive to Reno to see my 19-year-old sister at uni.

Weeks 4 and 5 (March 27-April 9) saw my 21-year-old sister visit Vegas from LA, starting with the 24th birthday of my older brother and ending after Easter Sunday.

Week 6 (April 10-16) began with Holy Week, then driving Sister back to LA, followed by the restart to fitness routines. My routines expanded, Week 7 (April 17-23). Week 8 (April 24-30), Dad visited that weekend, so I braved minor puncture wounds from yard work with him plus an excruciating medical procedure. Fitness routines continued, and I shifted my diet from a fruit obsession to increasing my protein intake.

Week 9 (May 1-7) began by closing loose ends with my Peace Corps stories. I’ve begun next steps while home, as we lead into Mothers’ Day.

Landing—Returned to Vegas

From tens of thousands of feet in the air, I felt the end of an era. Nine Mongolian months ended.

The midday we landed, I wanted to get up and leave elsewhere, not to the house in Vegas.

I’m an English teacher. It’s a school day. I should be teaching.

My 18-year-old high school senior brother picked me up from the airport. Haha, he said he skipped English class to get me. Dad seemed upset that my bro missed class, but Bro had stable senioritis, with college plans secured. I loved the irony of skipping class to get a teacher.

Neighborhood in Reverse Culture Shock

A few hours after we came home, I went forth to community walk around the neighborhood, trying to make sense of things.

“Hello, how are you?” said someone in passing. “Oh, doing great,” I replied in usual fashion.

Well, I wasn't [doing great].

As I walked I weighed how when I used to live in Vegas, in 2015, I was more concerned with, what's the newest game? What's the latest episode? Yet now I feel more detached, less purposeful. I continued on to the park.

I love the fragrances and fresh air beneath the trees. I lied in the grass.

In another way, I felt, I only tolerated Vegas. There's more for me out there. There are so many cities and places with people I'd rather see and be with.

But God is with me here, too. It's the second Friday of Lent.

School buses drove by as I walked home a couple hours later. Middle schoolers walked and biked my neighborhood. (Was it my neighborhood? I'd hardly reintegrated...)

Middle schoolers jeered to each other about whatever. Some kids probably had crushes on each other but felt too shy to speak up, uncomfortable with the status quo. I felt like a watcher no longer a participant. Yet I was them, here, 10 years ago.

I had some dinner then slept shortly after, from 6:30 p.m. to 1 a.m. in our home’s guest bed. There I realized, I might be sleeping here a while.

Strange Days Ahead

By Saturday morning, my first one waking at home, I still felt I’d feel lonely without my senior cohort if I came back to Mongolia. Thankfully at least a half dozen said they plan to return. And senior cohort members who continued keeping in touch with me were great comforts. I still felt encouraged to apply to be a Resource Volunteer, sometime after conquering my 16-hour jet lag.

“Frozen II” tracks from the day before looped in my head most mornings. Film themes of change, grief and controlling the few things we can felt uncommonly personal. From Saturday on, I looped English and Chinese tracks from “Frozen II” while coping with being home. One jetlagged 3 a.m. morning, I even transcribed and translated the tracks between languages.

Later Saturday morning, I walked back to the park. I spotted a tree. So I climbed it. Surprisingly my park had a sturdy one. Who knew? The tree’s been here all the dozen years my family has...

Atop its branches, I felt I might wake up from a dream and be back in Mongolia the next day.

I felt still reeling from my bewildering first Peace Corps Week. From seven days ago, I left my Mongolian city, came among nearly 100 fellow Volunteers, joined half on a journey across Europe, then found myself back in Vegas with my four siblings still in school. So mystic.

American Culture Redux

I’d jot general musings about culture during these first days back in the States.

We say, “Pardon me,” as though the mere act of engaging a stranger in conversation might offend against a stranger’s time.

In the West, we highly value possessions, and we treat time itself as something to possess.

In the States, we travel separately to functions. We might chit chat some before or after. Then we part ways to do whatever we’ve already scheduled.

I wondered if I should ask to visit people or accompany them. Would that be weird? I felt my integration habits of Peace Corps lingered. But I considered, I still had plenty I could do by myself, like taking time to process my sudden evacuation.

In the States, we decide against reaching out to people. Perhaps we fear simple greetings to friends, with nothing more, might impose on their time. On the flip side, I receive multiple messages per week from Mongolians simply writing to say good morning or hello—so pleasant. I should cherish others’ care, never reject.

Resettling In

I cut my hand dropping down the tree, so I applied pressure, elevated the wound and headed home to clean and bandage it. I felt weirdly at ease, remembering Peace Corps health trainings. I recalled “Dear Evan Hansen,” too.

My family was busy with life, so the house felt rather quiet and still most hours. Already, though, I brainstormed ways to keep busy as a Peace Corps Volunteer on admin hold.

I began by finishing my Peace Corps blog stories. The day after, I’d already have my newest online, “Trilingual Adventures, My First Mongolian Winter | #22 | January 2020.” Coincidentally, that story was my last from before Coronavirus quarantines in Mongolia began.

Mongolian friends still messaged me every so often. They're so kind. I hoped they wouldn’t lose hope I'll return. [Nine weeks later, they’re still hopeful.] Meanwhile, I still wanted to search for a Vegas Mongolians Facebook group when my jet lag was up and I felt ready to start speaking Mongolian again.

I considered planning a trip to my alma mater in Reno, Nev. for a week later that month, once I settled more into the States’ routines. On the topic of routines, I decided maybe I'd visit church most weekdays to establish some semblance. I'd help my folks as best I could, so I’d still feel like I'm serving somebody. I even thought of getting my 23-year-old brother's bike repaired, to borrow it every so often!

To end that reflective weekend, later that Saturday, my little brother drove me to the bank to deposit the funds I withdrew earlier that week in Mongolia. Then he treated me to my first American fast-food in a while. I attended Mass for the first time in weeks that evening. On Sunday, I marveled at seeing free to-go boxes, when Dad’s fiancée’s family invited my brother and I to celebrate the oldest daughter’s birthday. I enjoyed my first Thai tea in a long while.

That week, I frequented daily morning prayer, rosary and Masses at church. Then walked around the community and continued blog tales either from the public library or from a local Starbucks (coincidentally the same one in which Black Friday 2018 I committed to Peace Corps service). On separate days, a couple friends also reconnected with me. I attended Mass seven of eight days this period, returning to Reconciliation that final Saturday and dreaming dreams most every night two weeks thereafter.

Peace Corps Global Evacuation

Week 2 (March 13-19), my cohort learned we were being reclassified as being Returned Peace Corps Volunteers—as in, we’d officially completed our service. This followed with sudden paperwork, thankfully not due for a few weeks. This led to global headlines of all Peace Corps Volunteers coming home, too.

Between home projects to tidy the house or weed the yard, I joined up with the National Peace Corps Association group writing to our legislators to support Returned Peace Corps Volunteers worldwide. I spent the days preceding the Holy Triduum completing my final paperwork.

I felt comforted nonetheless Peace Corps Mongolia insisted we could reinstate, assuming Mongolia’s situation resolves within the next year. I felt willing to take that bet.

COVID-19 Escalates Across the States

My second week, church closed. I still frequented the park but felt amazed to see more people than usual. A couple more friends reconnected.

A few weeks later, businesses shut down, schools closed, and I felt more adjusted. America was looking like the rest of the world. I trusted Americans generally had a good sense of sanitation practices, so I felt less concerned about establishments open. Mongolia lacked drive-throughs, so businesses there often closed outright.

But my weekend between Weeks 3 and 4, March 26-28, felt the first time I heard how rapidly COVID-19 escalated in the States. My little brother played podcasts as we drove to deliver supplies to our uni sister sheltering in Reno. From the news, I heard the U.S. now led the world in Coronavirus cases. That sounded bad. I felt especially baffled hearing that Nevada, with a population slightly less than Mongolia’s, topped over 100 times as many cases. I felt more at risk in the States!

During the trip, I also encountered American jargon, like, “Out of/due to an abundance of caution…,” “social distancing” and “Flatten the curve.” I felt critical of whether many Nevadans really knew what the jargon meant, considering how many cars remained on the road, how close people gathered in parks and how shoppers hardly kept distance. Though, I also recognized that Mongolian media might have used similar stock phrases that I just didn’t know... Nonetheless, Mongolians officials seemed more willing to pause operations to let health workers build capacity, and citizens tended to comply.

If any last brave friends wanted to see me, the closest we got to physical touch was to raise our feet toward each other and bump our shoes, as bros might fist bump or clasp hands. I commented touching each other’s feet together in Mongolia would’ve been a serious taboo, hehe. Still, I left those as my last in-person meet-ups to #StayHome and limit concerning others.

Perks of Being American

At home, my time zone matched most friends’ again, which made phone and video calls so feasible. I chatted with whoever reached out or replied to my outreach, which led to lovely chats with relatives, mentors, past classmates, fellow Peace Corps evacuees and more.

Introverted friends inspired me much when I checked in with them. They joyously shared how much time they’ve had for uninterrupted time to themselves and work from home. Introverts often touch my soul.

Being an ambivert feels weird for me sometimes, in how I straddle both sides. Extroverts often seem the ones I want, but introverts seem the ones I need. Nowadays, when being extroverted takes the effort, I find inspiration flowing from introverted bliss.

Community members I met in Mongolia continued keeping in touch with me, which helped me remember and stay close to my prayerful Lenten commitment to consult God on my projects.

Easter 2020 #WithMe with Family

My fourth week, my 21-year-old sister, the USC junior, flew in to celebrate our older bro’s 24th birthday. She brought her Nintendo Switch, so I soaked up the fun of “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate,” Nintendo’s “ARMS” demo and Jackbox Games with the family. After unis went online, our older bro transitioned to quarantine with his girlfriend and her sisters, but he still visited to celebrate his birthday with us.

I also felt joyful during Holy Week when the World Youth Day 2019 Mass soundtrack appeared on Spotify. It was an incredible choral and rhythmic masterpiece I never thought I’d hear again. I recently learned, too, a childhood best friend would receive confirmation this year—magnificent!

As on Sundays, I saw the Lent and Holy Week services on YouTube, between channels like Shalom World with Pope Francis, Ascension Presents with Fr. Mike Schmitz, Word on Fire with Bishop Barron, and Our Lady of Wisdom Newman Center with Fr. Nathan Mamo. A Kansan relative joked how COVID-19’s let us “attend” Mass in our jeans, haha. Dad’s fiancée and I talked about the newfound freedom to just choose any online pastor per week.

My Easter 2020 apex came Good Friday. I felt moved by the Vatican’s Way of the Cross, which read Italian reflections written by incarcerated and those whose lives they affected or whose lives affect them. They reminded me, for many of us, COVID-19 is nothing compared to the ‘normal’ sufferings of those behind bars, starving for hope.

Renewed Motivation

After Easter Sunday, my lil’ bro and I returned Sister to L.A., Dad returned to work in northern Nevada, and Older Bro returned to sheltering away. So since the beginning of Easter, April 12, 2020, I’ve spent my days seeking to accelerate into a newer, more stable motivated state.

I decided first to honor Dad’s suggestion to work-out and, with my lil’ bro’s help, added focused fitness to my days. I borrowed my siblings’ game system and games to finish one I started years ago while on the treadmill. I personally doubled-down on blog stories to get two through a week. And, setting up my new horizon after, I started looking back into language studies. Week 7 (April 17-23) added my return to polyphasic sleep to boost productivity.

I’m a hopeful man. So some days, especially between 4 and 6 a.m., I draw or write stories about the ideal life I wish I could be living. This helps me delve into where my yearnings really are, mentally. After seeing “The Rise of Skywalker,” I even doodled an Avatar like Rey meditating in the air. Then I try giving my wants back up to God, accepting I can’t have all those things right now. Usually this process illuminates desires I hadn’t acknowledged before.

I also recognize the steps I can take now to draw me closer to my future desires.

I spend idle thoughts when possible praying for others. I realize with so many people already praying for me, I needn’t worry about myself, since I’m taken care of. Instead, I should think to the ones who do not know the hope I feel. I wish some encounter might intrigue them and offer new peace. Such exercises remind me too of my privileges and help root me in my giving self.

Ecclesiastical Latin’s been a fun quest toward greater knowledge. It bridges both Mongolian and Spanish grammar, while drawing vocabulary I’ve encountered across English, Spanish, Mandarin Chinese and Mongolian, too. Plus I understand church music better now. It’s a fun journey. I found regarding Church language that Mandarin and Mongolian more frequently transliterated straight from the Latin, where English and Spanish adapted. Fun reading.

Five Months of Freedom

I read the soonest I might return to Peace Corps service in Mongolia would be October 2020. So, I’ll be here in the Pacific time zone for long, if you want to call someday. I’ve cherished my adventures and look forward to those ahead.

I’m ostensibly home for the summer, so I plan to write at least once monthly a new piece sharing unpublished bits from Mongolia, maybe a few new tales from American life, too.

Hard to believe after packing my Mongolian apartment, evacuating in our caravan to the capital, saying so-long to many, flying around the world and finally landing in Vegas, I’d finish revising and editing these blog stories #22 through 38. I’d been drafting them for months, weeks and days! At last, we’ve caught up.

So, as the days come, I’ll rise, read Scriptures, reflect, journal, chat with Asia, take to the treadmill, play some games, see some films or shows, try to eat well, try to work most muscles, try not to strain something, then return to writing, other reading, napping, showering, sorting, teeth-brushing, thinking and marveling. This leaves plenty of time to socialize. And I do miss you, wherever you shelter.

Keep in touch, Friend!

Up next is a 2020 Mother’s Day reflection.

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

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danielxrk · 5 years ago

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EMPTY ENIGMA ; THE PLAYLIST ( youtube ) ( spotify )

1. ╬═ uncontainable - set it off 2. ╬═ rockstar - daddy rock (cover) 3. ╬═ bad kids - lady gaga 4. ╬═ sophomore slump or comeback of the year - fall out boy 5. ╬═ float on - modest mouse 6. ╬═ do it now remember it later - sleeping with sirens 7. ╬═ restless - too close to touch 8. ╬═ last ones left - blessthefall 9. ╬═ have faith in me - a day to remember 10. ╬═ player haters’ ball - palisades 11. ╬═ watch out - memphis may fire 12. ╬═ against the waves - blessthefall 13. ╬═ petty trappin - slaves 14. ╬═ broken - lovelytheband 15. ╬═ champion - fall out boy 16. ╬═ down for the ride - slaves 17. ╬═ this is the house that doubt built - a day to remember 18. ╬═ dream on - blessthefall (cover) 19. ╬═ immortal - palisades

1. uncontainable ⊰ we’re taking our crown, we’re taking it now ⊱

coming out the gate, we’re swinging. empty enigma together is an unstoppable force, or at least they feel like they are-- destined for amazing things and soaring to great heights. especially on stage, they don’t back down for anything, but it applies to their true selves, too. for a bonus, daniel and woojin box, so the metaphors 👍

2. rockstar ⊰ dude your girlfriend is a groupie she just tryna get in, saying “i’m with the band” ⊱

squall, alpha, brand, cameo and reign are wild; there has to be at least one song dedicated to it. don’t give them too much credit and think this isn’t relevant beyond the title.

3. bad kids ⊰ i’m not that cool and you hate me, i’m a bad kid that’s the way they made me ⊱

everyone came to empty enigma for different reasons, but all of them have at least a little rebellious bone in their body to be part of a metalcore band. there’s some defying authority, a lot of defying expectations, and a little disappointing people in their lives that don’t think the band is an honorable pursuit, at the very least. empty engima doesn’t care. all of that aside, they came together to support each other under all circumstances. you’re still good to me if you’re a bad kid, baby.

4. sophomore slump or comeback of the year ⊰ i’ll keep singing this lie if you keep believing it ⊱

empty enigma is a mystery, but also a lie, based upon stage personas all of the members hide behind, giving them the power to be whoever they want to be-- different than they really are. there’s more to the song than that, though: a dedication to empty enigma’s fans, and their devotion to each other, getting through hard times, and enjoying every moment. it’s just a matter of time until we’re all found out, and they were, but at least it was on their own terms.

5. float on ⊰ don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy, we'll all float on ⊱

together, they get through everything, taking everything one day at a time, and it’s all okay as long as there’s empty enigma. [sobs into my hands]

6. do it now remember it later ⊰ remember when they said what we want can never be done? ⊱

empty enigma has had a lot of doubters, whether it’s random people or those close to the members, but in the end, they do what they want to, and the band empowers them to say so. come on say what you think, it won't mean a thing, in the end we're gonna be just fine.

7. restless ⊰ do whatever makes us lose control, just for a night ⊱

they all have their own troubles, but the band is an escape from that, even if it’s just for a show every weekend.

8. last ones left ⊰ if we’re going down, we all go down together, and that’s the way it is ⊱

somehow this song ended up on this playlist when i made it the first week of the mgas, but it has new meaning following the developments of the mgas. kenta and woojin receiving contracts, everyone wanting to hang onto the band, even to the point of wishing they wouldn’t accept their contracts. the chorus reflects their original feelings, but now it’s clear they won’t stay like this forever, but they’ll still supporting each other regardless.

9. have faith in me ⊰ you’ll always find me right there, again ⊱

a song about how they’ll always be there for each other no matter what, even when all else fails basically, haha!

10. player haters’ ball ⊰ wolves don’t lose sleep on the thoughts of sheep ⊱

here we have a lovely hardcore screamo song that marks the beginning of the part of this playlist dedicated to their haters, which was relevant enough before due to people hating on metalcore in general and people in their lives trying to tell them what to do. after the mgas, the relevancy increased by 200%, since daniel and kenta especially endured some hate comments and lowkey care a lot about what people think of them; empty enigma gives them strength and makes them care a whole lot less about anonymous people tearing them down. the only truth is that you’re still unknown, and empty enigma isn’t anymore.

11. watch out ⊰ we came to change the game so get out the way ⊱

this is another self-hype song and a lil bit to haters too, and their intention to be successful and their belief that they already are just doing what they’re doing. this is another one that applies more mgas considered, because this is relevant to when they first set foot on the show. (fun fact: this was a contender for between fear and faith’s title track.)

12. against the waves ⊰ but if it’s all the same, they’ll find the worst in you ⊱

pt 3 of songs to their haters, and a vow to stay strong in the face of them and any adversity, and the chorus applies to them wanting the band to be a source of support for people going through the same. i wonder why that “nothing can last forever” line is there haha how is that relevant haha

13. petty trappin ⊰ you say i’m everything you despise, everything you don’t like ⊱

this is the final and most relevant song dedicated to haters, all a highly applicable message to anyone that talked shit during the mgas, supercharged with some unshakable empty enigma confidence. every person that hates them is a person that can’t stop paying attention to them, after all. also a song in my potential ee follow up album playlist because they truly could’ve written this song.

14. broken ⊰ i like that you’re lonely, lonely like me, i could be lonely with you ⊱

all of the members were a little broken, and maybe they still are, but at least they’re broken (and maybe a little lonely) together where they didn’t quite fit in anywhere else. daniel also met most of them late night at a party, so that’s a bonus. (extra bonus: this is the first song i ever associated with ee; i think it was back in october 2018 or something and that think i could love you but i’m not sure line always made me think of nielwoon, perhaps i’m a psychic.)

15. champion ⊰ i’m a champion of the people who don’t believe in champions ⊱

one of the last songs added to the playlist, this is dedicated to their dreams and touches back on that constant theme of being some kind of outcast and underdog. it also highly applies to the mgas (if i can live through this, i can do anything) but this playlist was still finished by episode two of the show, so that i’m calling you from the future to let you know we made a mistake line was foreshadowing?? ee mgas was a mistake. maybe

16. down for the ride ⊰ taking over, feeling at home with you ⊱

empty enigma is home, as a band or just the friends that make it up. they leaned a lot from each other, and the band was a crazy ride-- one they’re still on together and might be too attached to. (moving forward, learn to let go.)

17. this is the house that doubt built ⊰ we’ll sing like everyone when they’re alone ⊱

a mix of several moods on the playlist: empty enigma as an escape, strength and something that makes them feel fearless, and teamwork on top of that. it’s also a bit of a reference to their secret identities, why they used them, and what they’ve learned from them. (when you find yourself please let me know.)

18. dream on ⊰ sing with me, just for today; maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away ⊱

the original intent of this song in the playlist was because this was probably a cover on the band’s early setlists, and you know, the whole concept applies to people going after their dreams together and performing to cope with everything, but post disbandment(?) this hits different. don’t make me explain it and just listen to it. thank you.

19. immortal ⊰ i’m not dying, no i’m not dying today ⊱

this is the band’s lead single on their first album. please proceed to between fear and faith.

#rkship #rkplaylist #;ee #( * there's a reason haru designed our album cover #anyway!! finished this playlist ep 2 of mgas #had intent of posting it to get those pts #but didn't have time to make a graphic and do descriptions #so why not now right #half of these songs hit different post-mgas i kinda hate myself for this playlist now )

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aloftmelevar · 5 years ago

Text

we need to talk about prince ivandoe

geez when was the last time i posted a full-fledged blog post myself on here

but anyways if no one is gonna get the word out then i am.

have you heard of the real 57th cartoon network original?

so basically, there's a cartoon network studio in europe appropriately named "cartoon network studios europe"

or if you wanna go the fancy route you can say "𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓫𝓸𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓾𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼" but according to the brits that apparently have 9 billion iq we are dumb and we have to have direct terms for things and watered down tomodachi life lyrics and our own measurement system, so we call it by its direct name, therefore the rest of the world has to call it by its direct name (disclaimer: thehanbaniverse knows this isn't why we call it CNSE) (well i mean GM is the street turner EMEA is on but) (why they gotta name the studio that) (if it aint on great marlborough street) (🤔🤔🤔)

it used to be called "cartoon network development studio europe" because it was gonna only produce pilots that could be turned into UK (or other parts of europe) originals. and yeah they produced pilots

that's when some dude named,,,i dunno,,,,benjam in...? bo koo leigh....?? came and made a pilot for some underground alternative show called....y'all probably haven't heard of it.....the ama zing world of a gum ball,,, ooo....

so CNSE picked it up and WOOO HOOO CN UK HAS THEIR OWN BABY (THAT THEY AIR LIKE 200 TIMES A WEEK YAY EUROPEAN TV LAWS)

(AND IT DID NOT AIR IN MAY 2008 YOU NUMBSKULLS THAT'S LIKE SAYING ADVENTURE TIME PREMIERED IN 2007 OR MAO MAO PREMIERED IN 2014 GOOGLE GNOMED YOU ONCE AGAIN)

fun fact: pinky malinky was originally gonna be The Second British Cartoon Network Show but nickelodeon intervened and grabbed the show right out of their hands and put that junt on netflix. i would've loved to make a parody weezer cover with gumball, ivandoe, pinky, and eliott but like,,,,pinky malinky,,,is now,,,the first british nicktoon,,,,oo,,maybe he can "join" weezer,,,original meme idea,,,,dont steal,,,

so CN UK caressed their baby for 8 years til they dropped it on the head and ran away from it before they could give it a good conclusion

and 2 years before that, CNSE put out a teaser for a new,,,,DANISH show?????

yeah that's right, SCANDINAVIA GANG WAS ABOUT TO TAKE OVER HOO-UGH

and this new show was called The Heroic Quest of the Valiant Prince Ivandoe (probably the longest name for a CN original ever, correct me if i'm wrong)

and by "show", i mean 10 3 Minute Shorts That Are Unlockable By Playing An Online Game That They Took Off Their Site And Is Pretty Much Unaccessible From Anywhere Not In EMEA Therefore A Lot Of People Don't Know This Show Exists And It Pisses Me Off™.

yeah :(

this is what it looks like

now before you whip out your keyboards and get ready to furiously type "GUMBALL RIPOFF",,,,please listen to what i said earlier,,,,same studio,,,,and the animators from the show made this,,,,this isn't bocquelet's baby but it's got the same animators

and like...this show was slept on the HARDEST of any other CN show and was INSANELY underappreciated. this beats sheep in the big city levels of overlooked. this is a whole new league.

like...y'all flat out forgot it existed. big time. like yeah y'all might've watched that one video vailskibum made about it but then y'all walked right off. this show has a smaller fandom than lyon mississippi and that is a whole other level of small. in fact, there's pretty much no fandom, yeah, literally no fandom. at all.

the only way i could watch it was through uploads on dailymotion (and very recently this dude on youtube has every episode uploaded atm but i can't see that lasting before 2020). no legal way i could watch the show because it also didn't come to the USA and i am so pissed about that :(

the most further west the show went was brazil and latin america in july 2018 but no new countries since...did they think americans couldn't handle how authentically scandinavian it was??? did they think we were too stupid to differentiate it from gumball??? i swear we've been screwed over time and time and time and time again by companies becuase they thought we were too stupid for more mind challenging and different stuff.

i mean look at the ico box art for US vs. EU and japan. yikes.

i'm also crazy for these backgrounds.

the thing that both CNSE shows have most in common is the mixed media animation style. however, while TAWOG just took pictures and used those as references for 3d rendered backgrounds, ivandoe literally had WHOLE SETS built specifically for certain episodes, with real tree bark used for trees and just- AAGH ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. i could understand why it's not a full series because the backgrounds themselves had so much work put into them. if they picked it up for a full series then they might've had to take the TAWOG route and make the backgrounds 3D.

after the first 10 episodes came out and europe had a huge ivandoe party in the beginning of 2018, it's as if the show just fizzled out of existence. no news, no nothing. to my knowledge, the only thing CNSE is working on at the moment is eliott from earth. but i would love to see some new ivandoe related-content, that could possibly come to the US and expand the fandom a little. even though i love TAWOG much more, i really feel like i'm the only one still thinking about this show and wishing more people talked about it. i've heard that the show just now in 2019 came to the philippines, so it still has potential to come over here (lmao just watch us be like the last country in the world for ivandoe to get to). this show had so much potential...

i'm also gonna post this on other outlets so people can see it. i don't want this show to forever be overlooked like this.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

#the heroic quest of the valiant prince ivandoe #prince ivandoe #ivandoe #cartoon network #tawog #cartoon network studios europe #this show is insanely underrated #y'all slept on this #big time

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