#Moon Knight for about a month

[samingtonwilson]

just got nauseous thinking about the men i was once attracted to

[age-of-moonknight]

“Tigra,” Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 2/2024), #2.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

[yakkety-yak-art]

Some sketches for my half thought out takes on the Moon Knight system because I’m obsessed w Egyptology and also Moon Knight sooo. The info in the images are just bullet points for me to remember but I have Many Thoughts mostly related to Khonsu and his aspects (I use Khonsu to refer to the deity, and Khonshu to refer to the character) and how they relate to the system. Ramble paragraph below about appearances and Khonsu stuff lol.

it’s hard to tell because they’re sketches and I’m bad at making faces look the same, but Jake and Marc look more similar on purpose. I wanted to find a bit of a middle ground between all of the system having their “internal appearance” match the body like in the show and comics, and each of them looking completely different, as from what I understand that can vary from system to system. So Steven and Aviva are completely different in appearance, but if you were somehow able to show Jake and Marc’s appearances to someone they would assume the two are related somehow. Steven’s appearance is based off of his/Marc/Jake’s appearance in the comics, and Aviva looks essentially like her comic appearance, where she is unnamed and only referred to as “Inner Child”. She has red hair. Part of the reason I wanted to have varying appearance was also for Khonsu related reasons; I wanted to have a young alter, two middle ones, and an older one to help represent Khonsu’s changing age. He was often portrayed as a youth, or portrayed as aging throughout the year to his death and being born at the start of the new year. Steven isn’t much younger than Marc and Jake isn’t much older than Marc, but I wanted to try and make it clear that there’s a spectrum of ages in the system to reference Khonsu’s associations with time. Also, Khonsu in general has way more associations with children, birth, fertility, etc than is usually explored in Moon Knight media (usually he’s shown as having a soft spot/being particularly concerned with the safety of kids and young adults, which is good and in theme) and I wanted to have that be more present since the comics do already draw parallels between Khonshu’s (the character) aspects and the system. So here all of Khonsu’s aspects are represented by one or more of the system members, with Khonshu himself representing older portrayals/aspects of Khonsu as violent and more malevolent

Also to clarify about appearances: to outside observers, they all look the same as they are all parts of one mind in one body. (I don’t have DID, but I did seek out and read perspectives written by systems as well as general info about it, because just knowing the technical symptoms cannot inform you of the spectrum of real experiences with DID; I’m not an expert obviously and these people’s experiences are only representative of specific points on a spectrum, but I do wanna be respectful towards people with DID and so my wording here is based on my understanding of their own perspectives and preferred terms while also keeping in mind the deliberate parallels to Khonsu’s mythology that’s baked into Moon Knight. If anything in this post is worded poorly or offensively, please let me know and I will be happy to change it.)

[pechaberriesandsoju]

When you wanna talk about one of your f/os / crushes in a mutual's server, but you can't cause you know that one ex friend is still in there, even though you have them blocked, you know that if you talk about these characters they're gonna go snitching to the other ex friend who more than likely will throw a fit and maybe even figure out a way to harass me over it.

[lildoodlenoodle]

First things first(spoilers for spiderverse/spidergeddon and comic noir storyline) this is a long post but you’ll have fun I promise. As always feel free to engage with the post, I’d love to hear different theories/opinions/conclusions on this in the tags or comments. Sorry it took so long!

Now I’m gonna say something morbid:

Spider Noir’s death in the comics was hilarious

Jarring, but hilarious. Like why’d he grab him like that. I physically had to shut off my iPad and go for a walk after this scene when I first read it.

But to my point, you know how some people say your birth mark is how you died in your last life?

Well post resurrection we might have A, B, and C:

(Now before anyone gets on me for, why would you do that/even think of this? In my defense, I couldn’t remember where he was grabbed, it’s been a while since I’ve read these. I thought it was gonna be on his back or shoulder and I’d give him a burned on handprint going all ‘gripped you tight and raised from perdition’ which is cool, fun, sexy, and conveniently hidden. Then I reread it and it’s basically a permanent face palm. Also pretend his face looks the same in every one. Couldn’t decide on hair either lol.)

Either way post resurrection Peter should have physical after effects of his resurrection. Either lines all over his body from having the life force sucked out of him or birth/burn marks on his face. I think this would be hilarious, angsty, and interesting. I also hate when people are just resurrected willynilly. LET THE TRAUMA OF DYING AND COMING BACK TAKE ITS TOLE. Especially if it’s multiple times.

In MK: Midnight Mission they, pretty recently, came up against this problem with the MK system being resurrected over and over again and facing really no visible consequences. But then we find out, there isn’t really a limit(ignoring the whole Khonshu imprisonment), but eventually mentally, there will be nothing left to resurrect. And the mindless mummy warrior creatures we meet from Khonshu’s ‘world’ were old avatars that wasted away from resurrections. It explains the alterations and perversions of the MK system’s mental conditions, because they are actively being altered and changed, to be brought back, by a multidimensional creature that doesn’t care about their mental health/state(that Khonshu takes advantage of, knowing what he’s doing). Sound familiar?

Now, time to get philosophical. Ship of Theseus.

What is it? Ship of Theseus is an ideological/philosophy problem about a king, Theseus, who saved the children of Athens from king Minos and the Minotaur and then sailed his ship to Delos. Then each year Athenians would sail that same ship from Athens to Delos in celebration of the myth. Over time they kept replacing parts of the ship for maintenance purposes, till every plank had been replaced, so they could still make the voyage. Now the question is, is it still the same ship? At what point did it stop becoming that original ship? And does it matter?

Applying this philosophical exercise to resurrection, with what we know above, we can get an interesting dialogue going. But, with that said, it’s important to keep in mind that the resurrection process in this context with these multidimensional gods isn’t explained with enough detail to really take it apart. Like what happens to the soul? Is the brain damage we know Marc has from repeatedly dying and his brain repeatedly going without oxygen or is it from just interacting with a multidimensional god? Is the spider god comparable to Khonshu? Is the spider god even real, if not what or how was Peter actually resurrected? And if it is real, what is its main goal? At least with Khonshu we know he has an agenda. What does it want, what’s its end game?

But let’s get into it anyways.

Now, you may be wondering, why do I keep saying multiple resurrections in regards to Spider noir? I am so glad you asked! I believe Peter's initial spider bite killed him. He had to go to the afterlife to actually see the spider god. That’s why we really only see them three times, at the initial power conception, Peter’s resurrection, and when Peter goes to the ‘underworld’ in the 2020 run. We see something similar with Khonshu in Midnight mission, while he’s in space jail, Marc can only see him during resurrections or while he’s dead. And while we’re comparing the MK system to spider noir, when Marc got his powers, he basically had to die first. That was implied to be his first resurrection. So this wouldn’t be a one off situation. We have some rules.

What we don’t see with Moonknight and Khonshu is visual physical change. Outside of the ghost bird skull armor the boys aren’t visually changing. Meanwhile, Peter has physically turned into a monster before and turned completely back. In #4/5 of the 2020 noir run the cicada stone/pink meteor turns people into monsters, but not everyone. Huma turns, Shocker turns, Peter turns, and all the resurrected villains(one guy just explodes). But Hu-Ri and Checkpoint Red don’t, until Hu-Ri touches the stone. Huma and Peter are both in close proximity to eldritch beings, them turning into inspired versions of those beings make sense. The Shocker turns because he spent so much time holding onto the stone, whereas Red hasn't. But notice Shocker and Hu-Ri don’t turn into an animal inspired version of themselves like Huma and Peter do, he becomes more of a hulk like creature, because he isn’t attached to an other-worldly being. And when Peter turned back he essentially said “that hurt like a bitch” and kept moving.

If we want to keep with the canon noir timeline and going with the idea that the Spider god is either continuously changing Peter, or just changing him during resurrections this would explain the webbing and mood/personality change from the 2009 comics to the 2020 comics. But that’s boring and too simple and I hate the time jump so fuck that shit.(again another post).

So let’s focus back on ‘Ship of Theseus’ in the context of resurrection. We have too many questions about the process of resurrection for spider noir to properly have this conversation, but I’m going to try anyways. Let’s hit what we know again: resurrection changes your brain chemistry/structure, the spider god is changing Peter throughout the series, Peter has possibly had three resurrections, the spider god resurrected Peter from a different dimension, which confirms this is a multidimensional being(if she exists but shhhh). So now that we’ve established that there are changes happening to Peter(one way or another) we know that the spider god is ‘repairing’ Peter throughout the series or ‘replacing his boards’ so to speak.

At what point is this no longer Peter? Is it when he is no longer recognizable as a human? Or is it when there is nothing left in his mind to resurrect? Or has this never been Peter, or rather not since his first resurrection when he got his powers? Is this change sudden or slow? Is it the resurrection that turns him into something else, is it slow build up like an Iodine Clock titration and one day he just wakes up no longer human, or is it a slow process of subtle changes? But if the latter, what’s the change that does it? What defines Peter’s humanity? Does it matter if he’s human or not? Does it change anything for him if he’s no longer human in body and mind?

Part of the answer may lie in the villains we see through the 2009 and 2020 runs. In the first run the main villains were the Goblin and the Vulture. Both who were implied to not be human or having physical inhuman qualities(but I’m partially ignoring the whole carney thing cause honestly it’s ableist and boring). In Eyes Without A Face, the second run, the main villains are the Crime Master and Dr. Octavious, both humans with no inhuman or supernatural qualities. For simplicity sake, let’s focus on Octavious and Goblin. In comparing the two I think most people would agree Octavious is the more heinous of the two. Goblin takes on the role of a mob boss. He runs a crime empire, exploiting the defenseless in New york. It’s nothing new and he’s even somewhat sympathetic ‘I’m finished with freakshows’, you can understand how he got where he is. This is not to say he isn’t a villain but he very much fits the ‘villain with a tragic backstory’. People look at him like he is a monster, we, the reader, start out the story knowing what he is.

Whereas Octavious is not even remotely sympathetic because there is no empathizing with how he ended up there and why he does what he does. He is not only othered by his actions but also by the narrative for his disability(it’s important to acknowledge the ableism in his story but that is another post). Ultimately his delusions and the acts he commits make him a much more sinister monster than Norman, despite Norman actually having stereotypical qualities of a monster.

Then we have Huma and Shocker from the 2020 run. Huma is the closest person we see who is in a similar situation to Peter in terms of the spider god. While we don’t know all the details, whether she is the same as Peter, bearing a curse of power, or the actual god. Either way she presents as human and is not treated differently than any other human woman. At the end of the series we realize how corrupt she is and that she’s been working with Nazi’s, not necessarily for the ideology but to achieve what she wants. Her transformation is the nail in her coffin of her monsterous perception. The question is did we need her to look like a monster to see her as one?

In general we are left with more questions and theories than answers.

But onto my subjective answers to the questions. My answers might change over time so don’t hold me to them.

Of course it matters if Peter has humanity. Peter Parker across the board is one of the characters who HAS to hold himself to a moral code or he falls apart and becomes the villain(well maybe not the villain but you know what I mean) of the story. He holds back during fights and has a no kill policy for a reason.(Good men don’t need rules, today is not the day to find out why I have so many.-dr.who) But noir Peter isn’t your typical Peter. He kills, he maims, he doesn’t hold back. With that said, he still is held together by his morality. It’s just different than what we are used to seeing from Peter, but don’t mistake that as a lack of morality. However, do I think it’s a very real possibility that this morality could be eroded over time especially considering his home world and the above circumstances? Absolutely. Peter is someone who historically needs someone to ground him and ‘make’ him human. This is normally May Parker, Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, occasionally Harry Osborn, Daredevil, Johnny Storm, and Flash Thompson, and the ghost of Ben Parker. Dude lives by a passing saying of a dead relative, he clearly doesn’t have a super solid moral compass. I think this is part of the reason the noir comics kept his relationship with May and Mary Jane(I disagree but whatever whatever), because he needs support to stay grounded.

Now, under what circumstances is Peter no longer Peter? I’m going with the Iodine Clock titration theory. Just drop after drop of ‘changes’ and morally questionable decisions that don’t seem to hold much weight, until he does something truly off the reservation. Like seeing himself do something truly horrific that a couple years ago he would have never done and shocking himself out of it. Or looks in the mirror and doesn’t see a person staring back. For either circumstance, because he’s appalled with himself or struck by the fact he doesn’t really care. This is not to say I don’t think he could come back from this but holy shit will it be a process.

But it brings us back to ‘If there is too much power then it is the responsibility of the people to take it away.’ Peter losing his humanity puts him in the Goblin’s place as the one with great power that cannot be trusted from the first comic. Whether it’s the resurrections, the spider god ‘replacing’ parts of him, or him just being pushed to the brink mentally that does it. Whether the change is physical, neurological, spiritual, or mental. This ‘Peter’ is not the Peter we first meet in 1932.

This is a different ship, and you can sail and stay on the same course in memory of, or under the false pretense of being, the original as many times as you want, but you cannot bring back the parts you replaced and undo the ‘improvements’ you made. But that doesn’t need to make Peter a monster.

[jujapaya]

I never stated this before, but!

From the 2014 Ellis run and Mackay’s 2021 run respectively; I adore how Mackay makes references, even to more older runs that many people don’t—

From the new Vengeance of MK; Mackay. MACKAY.

[drifting-pieces-blog-blog]

A Safe Place: Part 5

Summary: Jake has one happy place. His pride and joy and comfort. When things go south, this is what he turns to.

Marc has started to rely on Jake to be his solid force. The unshakable rock that keeps them all stable.

Steven knows better. They are all delicately balanced on a thin wire.

What happens when one of them takes a spill?

Pairings: LaylaxMarc, LaylaxJake, LaylaxSteven

Universe: MCU

Warnings: Dissociation, Depression, DID, Habits of self destruction, discussion of mild self harm, talk of child abuse, depictions of eating disorders (in relation to depression), PTSD

Word Count: 7358

Previous Chapter HERE

Part: Five - The car is back! But the damage is done. Jake's idea of a perfect and safe place has been broken. Can the others help rebuild it?

Next Chapter Coming soon.

-----

Is this what I’m like? Marc watched the body pace. There is no way I’m this bad. I’m not this bad. 

“Yup.” Steven had to focus. It was taking everything in his willpower to keep them contained. “Worse. Way worse.” 

Thanks buddy. Marc knew Steven didn’t mean it to be offensive. He was on high alert damage control and couldn’t soften the blow like he usually did. Can I help? 

“Nope.” The body paced around the small space in the flat at a dizzying pace. “I got this. You just… You just sit there.” 

Marc felt bad just watching. He’d never actually seen Steven work before. Not like this. Though, to be fair, usually when Steven had to work, it was Marc that was causing the problem. 

Speaking of the problem, he could feel the ball of anxiety growing inside them. 

Layla had made an executive decision that she alone would go get the car. She would find out what state it was in and then report back. It was a decision that Jake had rebelled against. 

Words had been said and Layla had put her foot down. Perhaps it was the long night she had spent on the floor worried about the men she loved. Perhaps it was the night she had spent calming Marc down. Or maybe it was the night she had spent waking up after her husband had woken up thrashing from a nightmare… 

Either way, when she had told them to sit their asses down and wait for her, they had taken a seat and watched her leave. 

Marc knew she was trying to protect them. If the car was totalled and trashed, she knew that it wouldn’t end well. She was trying to prevent a total meltdown. At least a public one.

It’s going to be trashed stripped down for parts radio gone tires slashed wires cut banged up crashed broken scrap heap gone gone gone fucking gone the car is gone broken pieces of pieces

Jake was loud. It was hard to ignore him. Marc had never heard Jake be this loud before. He was used to Steven prattling on and on and on… But Jake was always notoriously silent when not in control. 

“You gotta relax, mate.” Steven mumbled. “Breathe. Settle. Just stop thinking about it for a minute, okay? You’re making me want to jump out the bloody window.” 

The anxiety was rough. It leaked out of Jake and spread to the already anxiety ridden other two like poison. 

I have to go get it. Taking too long. Gotta go get it. I should have gone. What if she can’t drive it? What if it’s…Where will they take it? Can’t leave it there. Need….Need to call a garage. Towed there… Get it checked over. I know a guy. Call him. Steven call him. Let me call him. I need to-

“Bloody wait a minute!” Steven ran his hands through his hair and paced harder. “Just wait. Okay? Let Layla look it over and call us. If it’s bad, she will tell us. If we need to call a garage, we can call a garage. No sense in getting worked up like this.” 

There was a fight. For once, Marc wasn’t at the center. 

In the scuffle Marc blinked in and found himself beyond disoriented as he looked around then down at the body. He wasn’t supposed to be there. Everyone was in a panic and stressed and in pain. He was the last person that should be left in charge in times like this. He was the bloody fist, not the gentle hug or quick retreat. 

Marc stopped the pacing and did what he did best and stood firmly still in the middle of the room. He could picture himself rooted to the spot. Nothing would knock them down. 

It was hard to function and focus with the commotion inside. He closed his eyes and pushed it all away. It was what he used to do, after all. 

Locking down his feelings. Locking down the situation. Locking down the body. 

Perhaps a little too locked down. 

Everything faded a bit and the world muffled out. All movement stopped and he only felt a little bit of guilt. He knew that when this happened that no one was going to get in. 

“Sorry Steven.” He thought he could feel the etching of Steven poking at the barrier as he tried to take charge again. 

Time passed, though it felt like years were stretching out and rushing past in seconds. 

Marc. He could hear Steven calling. Marc the phone.

Marc couldn’t move. He was too rooted to the spot in a time and place where nothing else existed. 

Pendejo! The phone! Jake snapped.  Oye, Steven. He’s stuck. 

Oh, now you want me to do it? Steven snipped back at him. That’s cute. ‘Steven don’t stop me from causing problems but don’t let someone else cause problems either’ What a fine deal. 

He could feel a collective pull and the body responded. There was a hard blink as the room came back into focus around them and they sat down. He reached out a hand and felt the floor then slowly moved it to pull the phone from his pocket and flipped it open. “Mn.” It was the best he could do. 

There was a pause and all three of them strained to listen. “I’m at the impound. So the good news first, okay?” Layla was trying to be as delicate as she could and it set off alarm bells in their anxiety pit. 

Marc gripped tighter, digging in as he pushed back against both of them that wanted control. Steven often called it ‘The Marc Rock’. When he settled in so hard that there was no hope of bumping him. Jake called it a pain in his ass. 

“Yeah.” He had no idea what the proper response was supposed to be. 

“It starts!” She cheered and he could feel that she had hoped to be speaking to Steven. Reliable, optimistic and full of hope Steven. He could do Steven. He had practice. 

“Fantastic.” He forced a smile and the accent muddled as he remained monotone despite his best efforts. “That’s fantastic. Does it drive?” 

He felt the heavy pause as Layla processed the dry rendition of Steven Grant. Thankfully she chose to not address it just yet. “Yeah. It drives.” She sighed. “More good news is that it isn’t smashed up either! They didn’t crash it. The police said that this was rare. Usually the car gets abandoned because they crash it.” 

Was Jake supposed to respond? He dropped the smile and started to rock a little. He didn’t know how to pull off Jake. “Great. Glad they didn’t fucking crash it. Cheers to them. Real saints we’re dealing with.” 

Marc started to feel the anxiety rise. She was keeping something back. He could feel Jake like an angry tiger pacing inside. 

“Just… Give me the bad news.” Marc slid a hand through his hair, feeling his insides start to coil. 

“They broke the door handle and lock to get into the car. Didn’t scratch it though! Just… Ripped it clean off. They also broke off the cover under the steering wheel. There could be more but I’m no mechanic. That’s just the obvious stuff. Oh, and your bag of supplies is missing.” 

They all waited for more. When Layla didn’t continue they all let out a breath no one knew they were holding. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Layla sounded a little flustered. “That’s it?” 

“Yeah.” Marc frowned and stared down at his trembling hand. “So… Do we get to drive it home or do they need like… forensics or some shit?” 

“They’re done with it. There’s not much else the police can do. Don’t expect them to find the guy either. Not much help really. I have to pay a fee just to get it out of the impound lot too.” She was grumbling and he could tell she was eyeing someone nearby. Layla had no qualms about telling people off when needed. 

“That’s fine.” He breathed out and dug his fingers into his leg to stop the trembling. “You know the parking space. Just… Just put it there.” 

Not safe. Not there. Taken once before. Anywhere else. Gotta move it. Gotta protect it. What if they come back? What if they trash it? What if others come? What if-

“Fuck. Just… Fine. It’s fine. Just… Put it… Put it there. Put it back. Okay?” He dug in harder, struggling to be the rock and hold his calm. 

“Is this Marc?” She had lowered her voice, further confirming that she was near enough to someone else for them to hear her conversation. 

Marc paused and frowned as he dug his fingers into his leg further. “Yeah. Yeah. Pretty sure it’s me. I’m… Having a… Jake says just put the car back.” 

She was quiet again and he rocked harder. 

“Please.” He breathed out. “Steven says we can’t go out. We’re actually pretty messed up right now.” He admitted and winced. Why was he telling her that? Now she would be worried. “Sorry.” He cursed under his breath and felt the panic rising. 

“Marc, honey?” She was talking softly. “Listen to me. Okay? Listen to the sound of my voice. Do you hear me?” 

Marc closed his eyes tightly and tried to block out the panic. It wasn’t his. He knew it wasn’t his. Was it? He always felt some level of anxious. He was a walking panic attack on the best of days. A simmering breakdown that was always waiting to unleash. A slow speed car crash that just never really got done crashing. 

“Yeah.” He tapped a finger on the phone rapidly. 

“Okay.” She let out a frustrated sigh and he imagined her standing in some station glaring down anyone in her way. “Can you tell me what’s going on?” 

Marc could feel Steven nagging at him for control again. He could feel Jake freaking out. Here he was in the way. He wasn’t letting Steven do his job. He wasn’t helping Jake stay calm. He was sitting there like a lump. He couldn’t even go with his own wife to pick up his own damn car that wasn’t even registered in his own name. 

 “I think I’m having a panic attack.” Marc winced again and wished he’d let Steven answer the phone. “What do I do? I can’t fuck this up. Jake’s freaking out and Steven can’t get through. I’m stuck. I’m fucking this up!” 

He looked around the apartment. What was he supposed to do? Why was he in charge now? Was he supposed to be calling someone about the car? Was there something he could do to help calm Jake down? 

“You aren’t fucking anything up.” Layla’s strong voice came through. “Listen to me, Marc. You are going to be okay. You have nothing to panic over. The car is fine. It isn’t your problem. Steven is fine. Jake is fine. You are going to be fine.” 

Marc shook his head though he knew Layla couldn’t see it. “I’m in the way. I can’t get out of the way. I need Steven. He’s dealing with Jake. I’m just making this worse. I just make it worse.” 

“Where are you right now?” She was louder this time, making sure he heard her. 

“I’m… I’m in the apartment. On the floor.” He flopped back and stared up at the ceiling. “I want a drink.” He admitted out loud. 

“Please don’t.” She whispered now. “I’m not there to stop you. You and I both know you have a bottle hidden in the cupboard. You and I also both know that it won’t help anything.” 

Marc flushed, angry for a moment at her then at himself. He sighed and looked over at the cupboard. “I won’t.” He was quiet as he felt the body suddenly ground and become real. 

He hated it. 

“How far out are you?” He imagined there was paperwork and all sorts of crap she had to do. 

“I’m actually about to start driving. Just signed the last release form.” She sounded relieved. Probably eager to get home to her messed up husband before he trashed himself. 

Marc stood up. “Great. I’ll see you in a bit.” He hung up and moved before the others could start pestering him again. 

He dressed in a hurry and rushed out the door. Steven would disapprove if he knew. Maybe he wanted Steven to be mad at him. 

He was halfway down the street when he felt a gentle nudge from Steven, asking what was going on and where they were going. 

Marc ignored it and picked up the pace. He felt a crawl of anxiety as Jake came back from whatever time-out Steven had put him in. 

They were both painfully aware of where they were when Marc turned down the familiar street with the row of parked cars. 

Not a good idea, Marc. Steven warned. 

“We have to do it at some point. You going to just keep us locked up all week? Just rip off the bandaid.” He grumbled as he walked. 

At the empty parking space, he planted his feet like two stones and waited. He could feel Jake’s urge to pace and Steven’s urge to fidget. Folding his arms, he stood still and waited. This time he could feel the stiffness of his joints, the ache in his back, the tension in his muscles… 

The car turned the corner and Marc gritted his teeth as he felt Jake leap up like a lump in his throat. “Fuck off.” Marc grumbled. “Give us a minute, and you can check out your stupid car all you want.” 

It was that easy. Jake stepped back and Marc watched as Layla pulled up then carefully parked the car. She sat in it for a moment and looked out the window at him. She knew it was him. No one else stood like Marc Spector. 

No one else managed to look as pissed off with such a neutral face. 

She sighed and opened the door. “Hey.” 

Marc looked at her then his eyes slid to the door. “Fuck.” He slowly took a step forward and touched where the door handle used to be. 

A bit of plastic still jutted out where it had broken off. There was a slightly scuffed hole where the lock had been. He traced it and felt a weight in his hand. 

“Stop it.” He muttered as his hand started to tremble. “You can fix this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the discarded lock from when they had first found the car missing. “No sense in crying about it, Lockley. You know how to fix this better than anyone.” 

Layla raised an eyebrow and stepped aside as Marc got into the car. 

Marc quickly looked the car over as his training kicked in. He knew what it was supposed to look like and feel like. He could almost sense what had been altered. 

Pieces of plastic and a couple of screws were on the floor. The cover that went under the steering wheel had been removed in a hurry. He checked the bundles of wires and found them still intact. 

His eyes traveled to the ignition and he found a large empty hole. He traced the area and slowly looked the thing over. It was scuffed up pretty badly but at least it looked like it might still work. All he needed was a screwdriver. Or something flat. 

“Tch. Amateurs.” He had hotwired more than a few cars in his time.  “You could have done better and left the damn thing pristine.” 

Sitting up in the seat, he put his hands on the steering wheel. Slowly turning it he found no resistance and it felt stable. Since Layla drove it, he assumed it turned well enough and that the brakes and gas still worked too. He slipped the key into the flat area and gave it a hard turn. 

His heart was in his throat again as he listened to the engine turn over then start.

The check engine light flickered on and held. The idiot had probably jostled something while fumbling around. 

He sat back, adjusting the seat and moved to pull the door closed. Clicking the lock button a few times to make sure that hadn’t been broken. The windows went down then up and he adjusted the mirror. 

Satisfied, Marc closed his eyes and slowly relaxed. “You good?” 

He took a glance at himself in the rearview mirror and his eyes sharpened and his lips tightened. 

“Fuck you.” Jake’s grip tightened on the wheel for a moment then he breathed out slowly. “Yeah. It… It’s fixable.” 

He slumped forward and rested his forehead on the wheel for a moment. “I can fix it.” Jake let out a long and slow breath then took another one. “I’ll order the parts. It’s going to be a pain to get the ignition fixed but…  I’ve worked with worse. Thanks, Marc.” 

He listened to the car running for a moment then reached over and flipped on the radio. 

Station one. Classical piano drifted out at them. Moving through the buttons, he found a few of them had been changed, but he could easily put them back. 

Are you alright? Steven was closer than they realized. Standby for damage support if needed. 

Jake nodded. 

There was a light tap on the window and he looked up to find Layla standing there. 

Are you going to let her in? 

Jake felt his chest tighten. Someone else had been in his car. They had invaded his space. They had touched everything and left his personal space feeling broken and wrong. 

His hands gripped the wheel till his knuckles whitened. He suddenly had tunnel vision and felt like nothing would ever be right again. 

Steven took the body back hard in a rough show of force. He turned off the car and sat still, breathing slowly. 

Slowly he opened the door and got out. “Hey.” He smiled up at Layla sheepishly. “Thanks for getting the car. We all appreciate it.” 

She eyed Steven and pulled her hair to the side. It was a warning move that let him know that she was very much aware of there being a problem and she wasn’t going to put up with lies or evasions. 

Steven slumped a bit. “Marc’s fine. He handled things brilliantly, actually. He might be a bit irritated for a bit, though. That took a lot out of him. Jake is… He’s taking a break. Don’t get me wrong! He’s thrilled the car is back and not totalled. Outright relieved! He’s just… this is a lot.” 

Layla looked at him for a moment then gently grabbed his hand and pulled him into a warm embrace, letting him lean into her fully. “How are you doing, Steven?” 

Steven melted into her, letting his hands clench at the fabric of her coat gently for a moment before he reluctantly let her go. “I’m pretty tired…” He admitted at last. “Taking care of Marc is one thing… I don’t know how to take care of Jake.” 

He closed the door and locked it. Normally they would pull the handle to double check it was locked but his hand just smacked into the place the handle had been. Steven let out a long sigh and leaned back against the car. He could still feel Jake’s anxiety crawling up the pipeline. 

“I mean, it makes sense…” Steven threw his hands in the air. “Jake’s a veteran too. He’s been to war. He’s faced worse battles than Marc since he’s the one that has to save our stupid butts all the time. He’s sitting in there acting like nothing phases him all the time. He has memories I don’t have or want! He has memories that Marc can’t even handle. If Marc knew about that last one he shared…” 

Steven shook his head. He felt like he had failed at something critical and it hurt to think about. “I don’t get him. I don’t know what he needs or wants. He doesn’t talk to us. I think Marc gets him better than I do. I wanted us to just stay home and not think about the car. I thought if we came out here he’d melt down and that would be it. Marc’s the one that knew Jake needed to see it as a controlled problem. I think I’m just making it worse.” 

“I thought you did a pretty good job last night.” She moved to lean against the car next to him. “Not a lot of people would have put up with that.” 

“Yeah well… That was easy. He was scared. I understand that.” Steven brushed it off. “He just needed to feel safe.” 

“Does he not still need that?” 

He looked over at her. “Everyone deserves to feel safe, Layla…” 

“What makes you feel safe?” She looked at him softly. 

Steven thought about it for a long moment. “Marc.” He blushed and ducked his head down. “He watched over me for such a long time. Even when everything was falling apart, he still went out of his way to protect me… Even when it hurt him.” 

She smiled at that. “Even when he’s being difficult?” 

“Well, yeah. Even when he’s a plonker. I know that he’s a solid rock of a plonker that would stand up and fight for me if I needed it.” Steven grinned. 

“Does he know that?” She nudged his shoulder and took his hand in hers. 

Steven squeezed her hand. He searched inside but found Marc had pulled away a bit. “I think so. I hope so. I’ve told him before. He doesn’t take compliments well.” 

“I know.” Layla sighed. “One day he might get it. We just have to keep trying.” 

He nodded then looked at her with a shy smile. “You know what makes Marc feel safe?” 

“What’s that?” 

“You.” 

It was Layla’s turn to blush and look away. “Hardly. I’m always arguing with him and setting him off. He ran away from me and pretended to be dead!” 

“Marc’s always running from the things that he needs.” Steven squeezed her hand tightly. “But if he’s feeling lost or scared I guarantee that when you pull him into your lap and stroke his hair it makes him feel like nothing could ever hurt us again.” 

It was her turn to be pulled in as he wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face against his chest for a moment, breathing in the familiar scent of Marc’s clothes. 

“What about Jake?” She looked up at him, reluctant to pull away. “What makes him feel safe?” 

“I thought it was the car.” Steven chewed his lower lip for a moment as he mulled it over. “It makes him happy. Gives him space he can control. Gives him the ability to be free…” 

He pictured the two memories again. Jake hiding in the closet and Jake hiding in the car. The car did make him feel safe… But it was just as easily taken away. The closet hadn’t been safe, yet he had still crawled in there when he felt overwhelmed. 

“Jake has a pretty small bubble.” She nodded. “I don’t think he’s used to people looking out for him. Maybe he doesn’t know what safe feels like.” 

Steven nodded. He’d do anything to make Jake feel safe again. To show Jake just how much he appreciated him. 

“Hey, Layla?” 

“Hmm?” She looked up at him, still buried in his shirt. 

“What makes you feel safe?” 

She grinned and slid her hands inside his jacket to run them up over his back, giving him a hefty squeeze. “Did you know that Marc gives the best hugs in the world?” 

She felt silly the second she’d asked. Of course Steven didn’t. It was impossible for him to ever be on the receiving end of one of those huge pick you up and spin you hugs. 

Steven gave her a silly secretive grin. “Yeah… I… I do, actually.” 

She gave him a puzzled look but he just shook his head. “I want to head back to the apartment now… But I’m really worried about leaving the car in this state.” 

What are they going to do? Steal it again? Marc muttered. Thieves don’t go after cars that have already obviously been broken into. They assume all the good shit is already gone.

“It’s got a huge bloody hole in it! That just screams easy target!” Steven argued back. 

Layla turned to look at the car then leaned down to look at the hole where the lock had been. She poked at it for a moment, jiggling the interior mechanisms. “Well, considering I had to crawl in from the passenger’s seat to get in earlier this isn’t exactly the easiest of targets. Plus it also says anything that might be inside isn’t worth taking or has already been taken.” 

“It really worries me how much you and Marc can easily think like criminals…” Steven crossed his arms. 

Layla gave him a look then grinned deviously. “You’re the only honest man in the group, Steven. Sorry to say you’re surrounded by criminals.” 

Steven grumbled about being surrounded by riffraff and let her lead him away from the car with the promise of tea and brunch. 

—

The body shivered. It hated the cold. After so many years out in the hot dry desert or humid tropics, the wet and heavy cold was hard to fight off. 

Marc woke up with a shiver and found himself standing outside in a pair of jeans and an undershirt. 

It was dark out and drizzling rain just enough to be annoying. 

Marc sniffled then sneezed as he looked around. How long had he been out in this? Who had been out in this? 

His eyes adjusted to the dim gray light of pre-dawn and he found himself staring at the car. 

“Fuck.” He groaned and patted his pockets down to find keys. He went to the trunk where he knew Jake kept some supplies. Popping it open, he was disappointed to remember that the thief had taken their emergency bag that contained a change of clothes, some cash, and toiletries. 

He did find an old towel at least. A little dirty, but at least it would do the job. Slamming the trunk, he walked around to the driver’s side then remembered the lack of handle and grumbled as he circled around to the passenger side. Getting in, he toweled off as best he could then reached over and turned on the car, blasting the heater. 

“If we get sick, Steven is going to have a fit. You know that, right? The hell were you doing out there?” 

Nightmare. Jake answered him softly. It surprised him. Jake wasn’t always so open to talking to him.

“Yeah? What about?” Marc asked, then thought better of it. “Don’t tell me. Why didn’t you get in the car? Steven says you used to sleep out here when…” He winced and shook his head as he pushed away the unwanted memory. To his relief, it faded away quickly, leaving a light fog behind. Jake didn’t feel like dealing with a flashback tonight. 

If this is going to stress you out, we don’t have to talk.

Marc held his hands in front of the heaters for a moment. “Is that why we don’t talk? You and I? Too many bad memories?” 

You and I handle things very differently.

“I don’t know about that.” Marc sat back and opened up the glove box. He was surprised to find all their papers still there. The thief really was an idiot after all. “We have similar issues. You were there for the bad shit too. Just cause I punish myself and you pretend you don’t give a shit-” 

Do you really want to do this?

“Yeah. I do.” Marc gruffed and tossed the towel into the back seat. “I used to think you didn’t care. Thought I was the broken one because I’m the one breaking down and having nightmares and you’ve got the worst of the memories and you just wave at them as they pass by! You let me think I was broken! That I was weak!” 

That was never the intent. Jake watched him closely. I just… I process differently. Compartmentalize. It doesn’t mean I don’t have nightmares. Don’t… Break down…

“So is that why you disappear all the time? So you don’t have to deal with all this? The less you’re here the less you feel it?” Marc laughed. “I tried that. It made things way worse.” 

I used to come out here to break down. Jake settled in and Marc could feel how tired they suddenly were. None of them were exactly getting any sleep lately. It was safe and private and had less chance of anyone coming in. I’m supposed to be the strong one. The grounded one. I can’t stand around crying if one of you is having a panic attack.

“I don’t think any of us are that well adjusted.” Marc slowly reclined the chair and looked up at the dark dome light. “Steven breaks down too, you know. None of us are going to hold it against you if you need a time out, Jake. Me least of all. I think I need a time out at least twice a day.” 

I’m supposed to protect you. How can I do that if I’m sitting in here dissociating or feeling sorry for myself?

“Pretty sure you could be dissociated to the void and back and if any of us were in actual danger you’d still manage to pop up and take care of things.” Marc muttered. “I’ve seen what it looks like after you ‘take care of things’.” 

Jake reached out and took their hand, moving to turn down the heat. He didn’t want to push the car too hard before he knew what it needed. 

I was pissed off. You can’t hold that one against me.  

Marc smiled. Jake didn’t like talking about his battle with Harrow. Layla had called it more like an explosion. He knew there were complicated emotions behind it all. A fear of being left behind again. Of being forgotten. Being locked up. Letting them die again. Not being able to protect them… It was what had first endeared Marc to Jake after their initial introduction and problems. 

“I know, buddy. I appreciate it.” 

They sat in silence for a moment. 

“Do you want to head back?” Marc sat up. “If Layla finds us gone she’s going to freak out. She’s had a rough week.” 

Marc could feel the hesitation from Jake. “Do you want to stay here? I can text her. Did we bring the phone?” He started to check his pockets. 

I didn’t intend to even sit in the car. I just…. Just wanted to know it was still here.  

Marc thought back to them standing outside the car in the rain. Jake unwilling to get in but also unwilling to leave it. 

“We need sleep, Jake.” Marc turned off the car and took back the keys. “I’m not one to talk, but if we don’t start sleeping, Steven is going to lock us all out.” 

I know. I just… I can’t. Not right now. The nightmares… 

Marc frowned. He was no good at this part. Where was Steven when he needed him? “Do you want to… To talk about it?” 

Not with you. 

That confirmed what Marc was worried about. “Yeah… I’m uh… I’m having issues too, buddy. You aren’t alone in that. I’m sure you already knew that, though…” He’d felt Jake sweeping away things he wasn’t supposed to have on more than one occasion in the past few days. Part of him wondered if it was his fault that Jake was having issues. “Do you want to talk to Steven?” 

No.

Marc sat still and pulled out his phone. He stared at it for a moment. “We should go back.” 

He felt the reluctance again. It was strong and filled with anxiety. “We can’t stay here forever. We have to get out at some point.” 

I can’t. 

“Are you afraid someone will take the car again?” 

No. Not really. … Maybe a little. 

“Are you mad at Layla?” 

No! Of course not! 

“What are you afraid of then?” Marc sighed. 

Jake was silent. Marc opened the phone and started to text Layla. ‘We are in the car.’ He thought about it for a moment then added ‘Do not come out.’ 

Marc sat back again and crossed his arms. “Next time, you wanna dress up a bit more? A jacket would have been nice.” 

I had a nightmare. Jake snapped. I wasn’t exactly thinking about the weather. You’re lucky we’re in pants.

They both sighed then reclined the seat again. Neither of them was willing to try sleeping and Marc couldn’t make the body move enough to get them out of the car. 

The phone buzzed and Marc glanced down at the text from Layla. ‘What do you need?’ 

Marc chuckled to himself miserably as a long list ran through his head before he typed out ‘Steven’. 

The phone started to ring. He cursed and let it ring a few times before he answered with a huff. “What?” 

That was the wrong thing to say and he winced the second it was out of his mouth. 

“What do you mean ‘What’?” She sounded tired. “I wake up and the bed is empty and the flat is empty and you tell me you’re in the car. You wouldn’t have messaged if it wasn’t a problem. Is it a problem?” 

Marc grit his teeth. “Not really. Just having the best of times out here.” 

Layla made a sound of utter irritation. “Is that code? Are you in danger or just freaking out or did you just decide that being in the car at four in the morning was the best idea in the world?” 

“I could really use Steven right now, okay?” Marc huffed. “I’d love to get back inside where it’s nice and warm and not out here. I just can’t get the stupid body to move!” 

“How am I supposed to get Steven, Marc?” She was beyond irritated now. “What’s the problem? Why can’t you get out of the car yourself?” 

“Jake’s having a time.” Marc glanced at the rearview mirror. “I want to move. I want to go inside but the body… The idea of moving is not exactly appealing to me right now.” 

“Is Jake there?” Layla sighed. “Put him on the phone.” 

“This isn’t like calling up someone’s house, Layla. I can’t just put him on the phone.” Marc snapped. 

“But you want me to get Steven for you.” She snapped back. 

They sat in irritated silence for a solid minute. 

“There’s a new documentary on today.” Layla let out a soft sigh. “About that new set of tombs they found in Saqqara. It’s mostly in Arabic but I can translate it for you if you like.”

“I don’t need you to translate.” He started to protest then felt a pull. “Keep talking.” He felt like he was walking through quicksand as Steven started to rise up in interest. It was like magic as she coaxed him out of the dark. 

“We can make fun of the bad subtitles together. After that we can cuddle a little…Talk about the new scroll they found. Biggest and most intact book of the dead found to date. I know a guy that knows a guy… I bet I could get scans sent to me if I asked.” She yawned a little and Marc felt bad. “Would you like that?” 

“Yeah?” Steven yawned loudly. “I’d love that, Layla! That won’t get anyone in trouble though, right? Getting a hold of the scans? I’d never release them to any media source, mind you. It deserves a proper scholarly review before those vultures can get their nubs on anything. Much less the British Museum. Oh, I hope they get it last. As much as I want to see it, I hope they never even get to display it for a week!” 

Layla laughed. “That’s my boy.” 

“Uh… Layla… Why am I in the car? What time is it? What…” He paused and rubbed his temples for a moment as a headache bloomed behind his eyes. 

Get out of the car.  Marc urged. 

Steven opened the door and got out. He blinked up at the light sky and the rain then locked the door and started slowly walking back towards his home. “Layla? Did we sleep at all last night?” 

“I don’t know, sweetie. Marc texted me and I may have bit his head off a little… I’m sorry, Marc. Can he still hear me?” She sounded very apologetic. 

I’m sorry too. Tell her, Steven. Marc rushed. 

“Yeah. He says he’s sorry too.” Steven reached inside and found Jake lurking just below the surface in the shadows. 

Nightmare. Jake whispered. 

“Jake had a nightmare.” Steven filled in. “I think he went out to the car and things got away from both of them.” 

“Well… It isn’t the closet.” She sighed and he could hear the exhaustion there. “Are you heading home? Do you need help?” 

“I’m okay.” Steven shivered. “Maybe a nice cup of tea when I get there would be nice. It’s chilly out. Gotta love London weather, yeah?” 

“Okay. Be careful and call if something changes.” She hung up and Steven slipped his phone into his pocket. “I don’t mind you guys going out to try to get comfortable.” Steven addressed the room inside. “I really don’t. Closet, living room, car… Do what you need to do. I’d appreciate it if maybe you tried to get hold of me first… But you got me out in the end before things really got out of hand. Good on you.” 

Marc and Jake sank down just a bit but were still listening. 

“Layla’s pretty tired.” He ran a hand through his wet hair. “That was kinda rude to call her up just to get me out. You could have done better. We also need to sleep. Like… We really need to sleep. I’m pretty dead on my feet here, guys.” 

Nightmares. Marc shrugged. Not like we aren’t trying to sleep.

“Yeah. I get that. But we gotta figure something out.” He yawned again and turned the corner. “Jake? You wanna talk?” 

No. 

“I’m this close to getting the ankle restraints back out, mate.” Steven warned. 

Try it, Steven. Jake huffed. 

Don’t test him. Marc pushed back. 

“Uh-uh. Nope. None of that.” Steven stopped them. “We aren’t fighting right now. If you don’t want to talk right now I will respect it. We are going home, getting warm, and then I am going to take a nap. If either ONE of you moves the body so much as an inch while I am napping I will freak out.” 

They were silent while Steven walked up to their apartment then opened the door. His tired eyes met Layla’s. “Hey.” He gave a smile and she handed him a hot tea. 

He clutched it tightly, soaking in the heat before taking a cautious sip. “I’m going to to warm up in the shower real quick.” 

The quick shower dragged out a bit. Jake and Marc remained close to the front, both full of apologies but Steven wouldn’t acknowledge any of it. 

He pulled on his favorite pajamas and was about to head to the bed when Layla called to him from in the living room. 

He froze. 

Chairs had been pulled around the couch to help hold up a long sheet in a massive blanket fort. 

Blankets draped across the top and hung down around the couch. A flap was being held open by a clothes pin that was carefully secured. 

Steven slowly walked around and peered into the fort. The couch was covered in pillows, blankets, and a few soft plush items that Steven had been slowly collecting from local gift shops. 

“Oh wow…” He found Layla curled up under a blanket in the corner. “Can I come in?” 

She peeked out from under the blanket at him and laughed. “It’s for you, Steven. Well… Really it’s for Jake. But I thought you might appreciate it too. Marc can come in too if he promises to leave his grumpy judgment out of it.” 

What are we? Four? Marc muttered as Steven looked the fort over. As much as he wanted to sound indignant, Steven could hear the interest hidden there. 

Steven grinned and crawled into the fort and let the flap fall closed, securing them inside. He took a moment to nestle into the blankets then gazed at Layla. “This is amazing.” 

“Obviously we can’t leave all this up all the time… But if this works maybe we can figure something out?” She looked up at the ceiling of the blanket fort. “I bet I could get fairy lights up there easily…” 

While she gazed around, coming up with plans for improvement, she felt Steven shift then a hand reached out and shyly touched hers, asking so softly to be held. 

She looked over and found Jake buried in the blankets and carefully avoiding looking at her. 

Layla softened and gently let her fingers lace around his. She smiled as he squeezed her hand back. 

“Sorry I keep fucking up.” He sighed. “I’m supposed to be better than this.” 

“You’ve had a pretty shitty week.” She stroked her fingers across his gently. “You are more than welcome to be in a bad mood and lose a little sleep.” 

“We lose any more sleep and Steven is going to freak out on us.” Jake muttered. 

“Do you want some space?” She leaned towards the door flaps slightly. “I want all three of you to be comfortable.” 

Jake’s hand tightened around hers slightly. “I’m not used to people acknowledging me. When I was me... As a kid.. It was like she knew. It was like she hated me just a little more. Maybe because I stood up to her once or twice. Or maybe because I tried to run. Or maybe because Marc learned how to take the hits and I still flinched each time.” 

“So you learned to hide?” 

He looked away. “I learned how to avoid the hits. If that meant I spent all night in a cold car or hiding in a closet or hiding on the roof then at least I wasn’t getting hit.” 

“If you need room, just tell me.” She lifted his hand and softly kissed it across the knuckles. “You deserve your own space. I know what Marc needs and I know what Steven needs. You need to tell me what you need. I want you to feel safe here with us.” 

��Jake shifted and lay his head against her shoulder. “I need patience.” 

“I can work with that.” She lightly kissed his forehead. “I need you to get some sleep.” 

“Mnh.” Jake closed his eyes. “Steven says if we move he’ll murder us.” 

“Steven is usually smart about these things.” 

“If I have a nightmare…” 

“Then you will wake up and I will still be right here. If you need space then I will give you the space you need to recover.” 

He squeezed her hand tightly as he drifted off. 

She smiled and pulled him closer. She hoped that for once he would sleep soundly. It was easy for her to be lulled to sleep by his soft snores. At least in here there was no outside world and no troubles, past or present, that could harm them. 

The only problems were the ones that lurked in their head, taking hold like a vice. 

She wrapped her arms around them and held them tightly, hoping that she could somehow protect them from the monsters that lurked unseen and waiting. 

Next Chapter HERE

[marcspectrr]

Layla heard Harrow mention Randall.

Layla saw Jake after Marc blacked out.

And that was the last scene we got of her.

I am not okay.

[lalah-cupcake]

i miss them SO much. anyway happy pride month!

[n0heart]

.

[properdxse]

anyways if you’re an internet scalper i hope you lose your house and car and all of your money 🙂

[fatummortem]

Avengers Assemble: Alpha #1

[age-of-moonknight]

“The Final Hours of Moon Knight,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #29.

Writer: Jed MacKay; Inker and Penciler: Federico Sabbatini; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit

[mrs-lockley]

jake being happy and celebrating his birthday is everything to me

Leap Year

Pairing: Jake Lockley x gn!reader (mentions of Steven Grant x gn!reader and Marc Spector x gn!reader)

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Jake has never celebrated his birthday. He didn’t even have a birthday, until you urged him to pick a date. Of course, he picks the most chaotic date possible.

Content: Fluff, one use of a pet name (honey)

A/N: I was thinking about the fact that it’s a leap year, and this idea sort of just came to me. I don’t have much else to say about it. Enjoy! :)

Masterlist

“When’s your birthday?” you ask out of the blue one day over dinner.

Jake pauses, forkful of pasta halfway to his mouth. Carefully, he places the fork back on his plate and says, “Don’t have one.”

“What do you mean?” you ask.

Jake shrugs. “I know Marc’s is March ninth. I didn’t exactly check the calendar on the day I first showed up.”

“What about Steven?” Your food is now totally forgotten.

“Same as me, I guess,” Jake says. He looks into the reflection of his glass, likely listening to one of his alters.

You sit there for a few moments, deep in thought. Finally, you look up at Jake. “Well, then you’ll have to pick one.”

“What?”

“You and Steven should pick your own birthdays.”

Oh, boy. Jake knows that look in your eyes, knows from the way they’re sparkling that there’s no way you’re letting this go.

“Look, I dunno—” he tries.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” you encourage him.

Jake knows there’s no getting out of this. “Fine,” he relents, pretending to be more annoyed than he actually is. Really, he thinks your enthusiasm is adorable, and he’d do just about anything to make you happy.

You cheer. “Great! Do you want me to help you pick a date? I should have some astrology books around here somewhere—”

“Astrology?” Jake scoffs. “I don’t need astrology. I already know what date I want.”

“Oh? Which one?” You lean forward in anticipation.

“February twenty-ninth.” Jake sits back in his chair and crosses his arms, a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

“February twenty-ninth?” you repeat. “Why?”

Jake shrugs. “Why not?”

“I don’t know, I—” You sigh. “I guess there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ll put it in my calendar,” you say with a smile. “Now, we just need to find a birthday for Steven.”

“He’s already blabbing on about it.” He rolls his eyes fondly. “I think he’ll take you up on the astrology book offer.”

“Perfect!” you say. He can see the moment you get that faraway look in your eye, no doubt already analyzing which sign would match Steven best.

Seasons change, time marches on, and Jake completely forgets about the birthday conversation. Sure, Steven had made a big fuss over choosing his own date for a while, but, once that was settled, there was no need to think about the matter anymore.

So, it comes as a shock when, on a random winter day, Steven has called out of work and insisted that Jake take the body. Jake tries to argue, to get Marc on his side, but it’s no use. His alters slip deeper into the headspace, leaving Jake alone for the time being.

He notices you’re already out of bed, and it’s at that moment he hears movement coming from the kitchen. He throws on a t-shirt and sweatpants and gets up to investigate. Sure enough, there you are, singing to yourself as you stand at the stove.

Jake has spent a lifetime creeping in the shadows, so he’s gotten very good at sneaking up on people. Silently, he moves across the kitchen and wraps his arms around you from behind. You startle before laughing and leaning into the touch.

“Good morning, Jake,” you say brightly.

“Morning, honey,” he mumbles, burying his face in your neck. “What’re you doing?”

“Making pancakes.”

Jake perks up at that. “What’s the occasion?”

You laugh. “Don’t you know what today is?”

Jake thinks about it. “March first?” he tries.

“It’s a leap year, silly,” you correct him, “so it’s February twenty-ninth. Happy birthday!”

Oh, right, that.

“You didn’t have to do anything special,” Jake protests.

“Are you kidding? This is the first-ever birthday you’re celebrating. We’ve gotta make it special.”

Jake feels something warm blooming in his chest, a feeling that is occurring more and more often when he spends time with you.

You plate the now-finished pancakes—banana, his favorite—and lead him over to the kitchen table, which has already been set. You dish out the pancakes and pour two glasses of juice before joining Jake at the table.

“Is this why Steven and Marc were being weird this morning?” Jake asks as he cuts into his pancakes.

You chew thoughtfully. “Probably. I swore them to secrecy.”

Jake grunts. “Really, you didn’t have to do all this.”

“Oh, Jake,” you say with a grin, “we’re just getting started.”

Jake hates drawing attention to himself. It’s the antithesis of his being; at least, it used to be, when he was still keeping himself hidden from his alters and working for Khonshu. Now, even though he can be more present, it still makes him uncomfortable to be in the spotlight. So, being the center of attention, the “birthday boy,”  isn’t really his style.

Of course, you know all this, and you plan the day around it. There will be no impromptu singing of “Happy Birthday” by waiters and random patrons in a restaurant—not on your watch. Instead, you spend a nice, quiet day together, walking around the city like a couple of tourists. It’s a mild day, not nearly as cold as it could be, so you even get to spend some time in the park, one of Jake’s favorite spots to relax.

It’s rare for Jake to get to spend a whole day with you like this. Sure, he and his alters have figured out a pretty fair schedule, but between work and life, it doesn’t always work out. Some days, he only catches glimpses of you in the morning, and come evening you’re so tired that he practically has to carry you to bed.

On the way back to your home, you make a quick stop at a little building with a pink awning. “Lily’s Bakery,” the sign reads in looping cursive. You pop in quickly and return moments later with a matching pink box.

“What’s that?” Jake asks.

“You’ll see,” you say with a glint in your eye.

After you’ve cooked and eaten Jake’s favorite dinner, you bring out the pink box again. You tell Jake to close his eyes, and, with a little eye roll, he complies. There’s some rustling, the sound of a box opening, and the click of a lighter before you say, “Okay, open!”

Jake uncovers his eyes, and he’s shocked by the gasp that leaves him. In front of him is a chocolate chip cookie cake that you’ve added candles to. Blue letters spell out, “Happy Birthday Jake,” and there’s even a little taxi cab drawn with frosting.

“I hope this is okay,” you say quickly. “I know you’re not the biggest fan of cake…”

“Are you kidding? This is perfect,” Jake assures you, blinking back the tears in his eyes.

When you sing “Happy Birthday” to him in the comfort of your home, Marc and Steven join in from the headspace.

“Okay, blow out the candles and make a wish!” you say.

Jake doesn’t need any wishes. He already has everything he could ever want right in front of him.

“What about next year?” Jake asks as the two of you lay in bed that night.

“What do you mean?” You roll onto your side to face him.

“My birthday next year. Do we skip it?’

“Of course not,” you say. “We’ll just celebrate the day before or after.”

Jake hums.

“Is that okay?” you ask.

If you had asked Jake that a year ago, the answer would have been a flat-out “no.” He hated drawing attention to himself, hated being fussed over. He felt like he didn’t deserve it.

What a difference a year makes, though. Instead, he smiles at you and says, “That sounds nice.”

“Happy birthday, Jake,” you whisper, leaning over to kiss him softly before returning your head to the pillow. “I love you.”

By the time he murmurs back, “I love you, too,” you’re already asleep.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please feel free to let me know what you think! Also, I have some ideas for follow-ups with Steven picking his birthday, plus celebrating Marc’s birthday, so let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in! :)

[tarotwithlucien]

𝓨ou in the eyes of your future spouse | pick a pile

Hello everybody! Welcome to my first PAP on this account – it's also the first time I've done one about "future spouse", so I hope you like it and that it resonates with you! ♡

┈─★ Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken seriously or used as a substitute for medical and professional advice. It's also a general reading, so it may or may not resonate with you.

┈─★ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that catches your attention the most – trust your intuition.

₊‧ʚ・︵︵ ₊˚๑ masterist | tip jar ₊ ︵︵・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

── .✦ PILE 1

Shufflemancy: Moonlight/Sunrise - Rope and Ladder, It's Not The Same Anymore - Red Orange County, To - The Neighbourhood, Love Songs For The Haters - FLEECE & Maintain The Madness - The Jane Austin Argument.

Without a doubt your future spouse loves you – otherwise they wouldn't even marry you lol – and they are a protective partner towards you, so in general, they see you as someone they should protect and care for. Therefore, they can act as your knight in armor when you need it, as they are always ready to protect and defend you from all those who try to hurt you.

They also view your relationship dynamics as if you are the sun and the moon – for some of you reading this pile, you are more the moon and your future spouse is the sun or vice versa. Your future spouses see you as a beautiful and attractive person – as if you were a mermaid who mesmerizes them with your enchanting beauty. And one of the physical features they love most about you in general are your eyes because, in the eyes of your future partner, they shine in a way that they have never seen before with anyone. Not only do your eyes shine, but in your future partner's vision, you light up their entire life. Before you met and were together, they saw life in a gray way due to the adversities they faced on a daily basis and, thanks to you, they felt life gain more color, they felt love and it was as if their eyes open themselves up to everything they had never experienced before in their lives.

You probably met early and one of the things they love most is being able to look at old photos you took – whether it was when you first met, when you started dating or just photos of you together in general – and admire how you used to be and they probably compare themselves to the old version of themselves in the photo and it's really funny because you could be looking at your photos together and they laughs, points to their face in the photo and says something like ��wow, I was weird ” and it’s a really cute moment between you two. They feels nostalgic in these moments and really misses that time, because unfortunately it doesn't come back and all that remains are memories – and fortunately they are good.

In the eyes of your future partner, you are going through a difficult time in your life. It's not just your partner who is a nostalgic person, you are too and you probably remember the times when your life was easier and compare it to the difficult life you have now – like when you were children, for example. They also see that you are tired and stressed about the way things in your life are – for example, you may work long hours at jobs you don't like just so you can pay the bills at the end of the month, you have to put up with people you hate and it even seems like you let people step on you so that problems don't occur (you can be people-pleasers too) and your biggest victory of the day is going home and sleeping, all while repressing what you're feeling and putting on a fake smile. Your future spouse is your family and they can tell when you are feeling bad and they think that you are being too hard on yourselves and that you may not want to admit it, but you need to seek professional help. So, if this is your case, don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help! This is destroying your mental health, pile one, please take care of yourselves!! Stop bottling up your feelings, process them, let them go, and then stand back. Do this for yourself.

Your future spouse knows you better than you know yourself – they know what to do or say to make you feel good and are careful about what not to do or say to avoid hurting you or making you feel worse. In their view, sometimes you can end up projecting your problems onto them, but they continue to love you regardless of your flaws – just be careful that this doesn't become a toxic trait that will affect your relationship. They may have met many girls/boys before meeting you, but none of these people compare to you! This whole time in their lives, they never needed anyone, they never felt the need to have someone by their side – on the contrary, they used to be the type of person who went out to a party/bar and flirted with people just to feel good/attractive. But, from the moment they met you, things changed completely and seemed to turn upside down. Just being away from you makes your future partner's heart sink. You make them feel good.

That was all, pile one! I hope you enjoyed it and that this reading resonated with you. Don't forget to take care of yourself and seek professional help if you need it, otherwise your future partner will hit you lol

── .✦ PILE 2

Shufflemancy: Room - Ethan Tasch, Ode To a Conversation Stuck In Your Throath - Del Water Gap, Epiphany - Stained, 976-Evil - Deftones & Tulsa Jesus Freak - Lana Del Rey.

In the view of your future spouses, you are a person who doesn't like to fight in your relationship and who tends to avoid conflicts so as not to cause major problems. You may even end up staying quiet instead of taking a stand on something that bothered you and your future partners also think that you can't express yourself very well through words. It's okay not to want to fight in a relationship, because who does? But, you must understand that some conflicts are necessary and need to happen, so don't run away from them, position yourself and choose your battles well – you don't need to fight over stupid things either lol.

In the eyes of your future partner, you are a disorganized person – the type who leaves their clothes scattered all over the floor or easily forgets where their left their things because everything around them is just a mess – and they think this is just a reflection of how you are feeling inside and how your mind is going. In fact, they may think that your inability to communicate effectively in the relationship is due to problems such as depression or anxiety. Regardless of what your case may be, your future partners notice this and care about you, they accept you exactly as you are and they will not leave you in this difficult time. You may be facing mental health problems, which leave you tired and without energy to do basic tasks like tidying your room and that's okay, just don't forget to take good care of yourself and, if necessary, seek professional help as it will be very beneficial for you!

For some of you reading this pile, before you finally became a couple, you and your future partner were best friends and all this time they tried to convince themselves that you were just that, but deep down they wanted to be tying you to the bed 🤭. They really wanted you and things are no different now. You also seem to be a popular couple who attract the attention of other people wherever you go, as if you were a celebrity couple or just people who are very loved by others.

In general, your future spouse is very jealous and possessive of you, so they want to be the only ones who can touch you in this way and just imagining people other than them touching your body the way they love to touch you so much chills down their spine lol. Just like in pile one, one of the physical features they love most are your eyes and they love just looking at them. One of the activities they love to do with you is traveling – in fact, any time they can spend time with you makes them happy. Your future spouse is so cute, because in the moments when they notice you are down, they do everything they can to make you laugh or just smile. In their view, in moments when you're feeling bad, you tend to walk away just to calm down - and for some reading this pile, this could apply to your future partner.

That was all, pile two! I really hope you enjoyed this reading and that it resonated with you. Just like in pile one, don't forget to take care of yourself and seek professional help if necessary 😠

── .✦ PILE 3

Shufflemancy: White Roses - Greyson Chance, Nervous Young Inhumans - Car Seat Headrest, I'll Follow You Into The Dark - Miya Folick, Uzumaki - Softcut & Dancing In The Moonlight - alt-J

Your future spouse is totally devoted and blind with love for you, pile three! In the eyes of your future partner, they can't live without you and they can't even imagine what their life would be like if they didn't have you by their side. It seems like from the first moment you met, just by looking at you, they felt attracted and didn't waste any time, they went to ask you out on a date lol. Just like the future spouses in pile two, your future partners are also jealous, the only difference is that they seem to be more jealous than the partners in the previous pile, because just seeing you going out, having fun with your friends without them around your side already makes them jealous.

The future spouses in this pile think that you still don't know all sides of them even though you are together. They may have red flags that you haven't noticed or ignore, so it's good to be careful. They may have addictions like alcohol or drugs, they may have bad habits, they may be overly possessive/jealous, controlling, aggressive or end up giving you the silent treatment or distancing you from them when you fight or there is a problem going on in your life as a couple – and maybe that's why you feel the need to walk on eggshells in your relationship to try to prevent your partner from acting that way towards you, which isn't cool. If for any reason you are uncomfortable, they disrespect your boundaries or you simply no longer want to be in the relationship, don't be afraid to walk away!

Because of what I mentioned above, your future spouses see you as someone who doesn't raise their voice in a fight, who doesn't point the finger in their face when they're wrong - they see you as someone who basically never showed their bad side to them. In their view, you understand them. Your future partners may also be individualistic and not have a black and white view of life – that is, they do not follow concepts such as “good” and “bad” and usually only do what is beneficial for them. Furthermore, they usually give back to others what they first received or what they think others deserve. But when it comes to you, it's different. It seems like they control themselves and use the power they have to give you what is good – they know they can affect your life, so they choose to affect it in a positive way. In my opinion they are weird, ngl lol.

Even though I think they're weird lmao, they would be willing to go through hell with you if necessary. They would be with you in times when no one else would be and they would be your refuge, ready to hug you and comfort you.

That was all, pile three! I really hope you enjoyed it and that the reading resonated with you. Be careful with emotional dependence, don't be afraid to set boundaries and, if necessary, let go of relationships that no longer serve you! Until the next PAP ♡

© tarotwithlucien - don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | DIVIDERS

[the-tarot-witch22]

The Next 3 Months - Pick a pile

Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3

My Paid Readings | My insta

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Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1:

(The cards I got for you - the hermit, knight of cups, 3 of wands, 2 of wands, the hierophant, strength)

Okay so the very first thing i feel is your next 3 months will be about you only, your self love - self journey, you will be in your own comfort zone or cocoon, like no matter where you are but you will be the priority like your own self, i also feel your self esteem will have a massive glow up, I feel you will be reflecting on your self and on your past too, making better choices for your self, i also heard "solitude", so i feel these next three months will be full of that, you will be going on self introspection journey , figuring out who you truly making goals, preparing for important things in your life, I also feel there would be a new person coming in your life, a romantic interest or a good friend you might meet, and if not i feel there will be self - love in your life, you taking care of yourself, i also heard "workshops and courses" so you might be taking one too improve your skills, this pile might be very creative to begin with, "cancer moon/ Pisces sun/rising or any fire sign is also very prominent here", with Virgo and Capricorn energy! I also feel some of you would be putting yourself out there to meet someone going on dates (not everyone), i also feel travelling is quite prominent here, so i feel you might plan to travel somewhere or make plans to do so in next year, i also feel it might be a aboard trip, far from where you actually are, i also see you focusing more on your studies, to get better grades, if you are working i see your working getting less hectic, you might also meet someone while you are travelling, you might also be taking in charge of your own life, working hard to achieve things, i also feel you would be more spiritually and religiously aligned, for some of you , you guys could also begin to be brave, stand up for yourself, i feel there might some family problems around you, i feel that would also get better, i also feel this pile could have parents that are too strict, or just you don't get along with them so i feel you would stand up for yourself, or it would get better, at least better than before, i also feel the financial situation will be better for you, "i heard - do what you gotta do leave the rest to universe", there might be people in this group who gets anxious or just doesn't trust others easily, and scared or don't feel like asking for help, but i believe in you! TRUST ME things will get better from now on, even the blocked paths will open, just keep your intentions pure!

Angel cards - compromise - There might be some situations that might need your attention and you would have to come to agreement to keep the peace.

romance- GUYS what did i say, i feel there might be a romantic interest coming for some of you!, if not i feel its talking about self love and worth! and if you already have someone you will get more closer than before!

ask your angels - If you are in doubt just trust your angels and guides, they will show you the way!

Ask for help from others - As i said this pile might not like to ask for help and they try to bottle up, don't do that, your loved ones are there , share your feelings with them and your emotions, you don't have to bear the burden alone!

be assertive - as i said there will be more confidence in yourself and your worth!

Pile 2:

(The card I got for you - 3 of cups, the lovers, the world, 7 of swords, the magician and the hermit)

Okay so the very first thing i feel and heard was "love" and "celebration", I also feel someone around you might get married, in the next three months i feel there could be a party or a celebration even a small one, a birthday celebration perhaps, or you score good marks in your exams, there might also a party at your workplace, these 3 months will also help you grow in your self, there might be a small gathering or reunion in your family, you might not like it but i feel you would have to be there because of your parents/ or elders in your home, this group giving me a vibe of introvert individuals, who value their personal time and space a lot! I also feel someone could invite you to hangout!, there might be some major decisions you would have to take in these next 3 months, you will be confused yes, or have choosing one right decision for you, there could also be you might meet a potential romantic partner, most probably a soulmate, they could be platonic or romantic, i also feel the angels and universe will be on your side, there might be some transformations or awakenings you would have to go through in order to become a better version for yourself, i also heard "grow through what you go through", don't just get stuck in past whatever happens, happens, the main thing is you take a valuable lesson from it, i feel you might also develop a crush on someone in the next 3 months, I also feel someone around will help you in certain things and part of your life, you will feel complete with yourself, like more spiritually connected and free, i also feel you will break the norms or rule or just get out of your comfort zone , i feel these next 3 months will help you realize many things about yourself, i also heard "change", you might be trying or try to change your life completely by making good decisions, i also feel you will uncover the facade someone close to you like you will know they were trying to gaslight you, it could be anyone, so be careful of people and their intentions, there might be some lies involved like small ones, a mischievous intention towards you, so again be careful of that someone, it could be a friend, a family member, you might also be uncovering and improving your skills! I also feel your manifestations will come true and so will your wishes!

Angel cards -

Be assertive - Be confident in yourself and your abilities.

no need to worry - This group might overthink or worry a lot, so this is a sign for you to leave everything to universe and just keep doing , what you do!

let go - Let go of past or things that hold you back break free from them!

Communicate Clearly - Don't hesitate to speak your truth! And if something doesn't sit right with you , speak up, don't people please~

Pile 3:

(The cards I got for you - the moon, 5 of swords, knight of pentacles, 8 of wands, 8 of pentacles, and king of wands, the lovers)

Okay so the very first thing i feel for you pile 3 is, "let your gut or intuition guide you towards the right path", don't second guess your path that you choose, with time it will be all revealed, you already know what to do in your life, I also feel there are things in your life that holds you back from your full potential, but you need to figure it out on your own and let it go, and do things that actually matters and makes you happy, i also feel there will be some unexpected surprises for your from universe, like you actually didn't expect it! there will be some major transformation or job change in your life, if you don't have a job i feel you would be busy in studies and work, I also feel there will be some conflicts in your workplace or family or with your siblings, but i se you winning, or standing up for yourself, from this group i am getting earth and fire sign energy with Gemini sun/rising, I also feel there might be some inner conflicts ongoing in your life, like you doubting yourself and your abilities, I also feel there will be major changes in your love life! I feel this group might be preparing for higher studies and you will get succeed in it, I also heard "successful", so these 3 months will play a important role in your career and your studies, there might be someone soon coming into your life and they are definitely very rich! I also feel there would be quick movement all the things will go smoothly , I also feel you will travel this or next year , could be a vacation or a work trip, that you will be taking, i also heard "religious place" so you might start to believe in religion or spirituality related things, you will be working very hard and finish your ongoing projects! I also feel these next 3 months you will goals driven, and determined to make your life a bit better through your career, "i also heard take it easy, don't take too much pressure! I also feel you will be reaping the rewards soon! You will be more confident and focused on your goals, you will also embrace your masculine side a lot! But i also see you overworked and overwhelmed so again, be careful not to give yourself mental pressure!

Angel Cards -

The situation will improve - If you are not feeling good at the moment or have problems surrounded i see it gets better!

big happy changes - As i said in the reading, There will be a surprise for you in next 3 months! this is a confirmation!

Forgiveness - I also feel this group hasn't forgiven themselves for past for any reason, i wanna say take your time, and let go of those thing which are holding you back, you will be okay!

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3