#maybe im too sensitive
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a song is never just a song. a painting is never just a painting. a poem is nEVER JUST A POEM. A BOOK IS NEVER JUST A BOOOOKKKKK!!!!!!
#you get me#maybe im overthinking it#maybe im too sensitive#i love art#literature#books#music#dark academia#philosophy#dark aesthetic#dark art#filled with love#lover#favorite songs#writers on tumblr#black tumblr#artists on tumblr#photographers on tumblr#photography#girl blogger#girlblogging#writing#poetry#ahhhhhhhhh
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#maybe im too sensitive#or maybe im biased cos bray was my favourite wrestler and him passing away was such a tragedy#but when i see a mod that makes his mask into facepaint without a single mention of bray kinda upsets me ngl#like can u at least say its based on his mask? or do a little ‘‘in memory of’’ thing? idk man#i dont like it lmaoooo#im sure yall will just think im being a sensitive little bitch about this tho#which yeah maybe so#i just think its important to commemorate ppl idk#especially those who were so loved by so many
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theres this cute guy thats friends with a friend (yes) and he usually sticks with us when we go study statistics, even though he studies electricity (yes¿) and he solves FAR HEAVIER problems than we solve but it doesnt even matter because i like him a lot and i think its because he doesnt say a word like ever, only when he is talked to
i dont know, i see men and i think "pretty" but sometimes they open their mouths and everything that comes out is literal shit
i hope he never opens his mouth, i hope we never become friends, just so he wont ever spit shit out of his mouth.
just so he stays fine and pretty to me
#i realize i sound REALLY sexist but i mean#i havent met a single nice man ever#they all make sick jokes#maybe im too sensitive
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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I found out some stuff about Oni's and I have a whole bunch of new headcanons for Lloyd and Garmadon..
#instead of lloyd being the shortest in the group. hes gotta be fucking TALL due to his oni blood#oni horns are sensitive.. the power this gives me for garmadon and lloyd...#ONI'S ARE CANNIBALISTIC?? DO YOU THINK MAYBE GARMADON ATE SOMEONE BEFORE...#I hope its not mistaké however you spell her name#hopefully lloyd doesnt eat people..#maybe in his oni form...#GARMADON AND LLOYD CAN GO INTO SPACE#Oni's apparently have a weakness of harsh smells and sharp objects too btw..#but in the ninjago universe apparently its the power of creation#Oni's also have HUGE fucking spikey clubs as their weapons im totally gonna give lloyd that fucking thing#also apparently female oni's are likely good with magic and dark spells does that make lloyd and garmadon a trans icon /JJJJJJJJ#transphobes dont attack me 🙄#oni's can have 1-4 HORNS im debating whether lloyd should have that unicorn horn#oni horns can be small or FUCKING HUGE too#so much potential headcanons...#ninjago#ninjago fandom#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon ninjago#ninjago lloyd garmadon#ninjago lord garmadon#lord garmadon ninjago#lloyd garmadon#garmadon ninjago#ninjago garmadon#oni lloyd
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my main problem with the silm fandom is that i can never tell who's roleplaying and who's serious
#like.. are you seriously saying that feanor's fans are bad ignorant people that shouldn't exist#or are you just roleplaying a die-hard ñolofinwëan?#do you genuinely think that everything feanor &co did is justified and fair or are you just roleplaying as a die-hard feanorian?#i think we should put a disclamer before writing certain stuff.. idk maybe im just too sensitive#just so we're clear. i rp as a feanorian and feeno IS my favourite character but he was not perfect lmao#that fucking loser (/aff)#gil-galad best high king of the ñoldor#tolkien#silmarillion#the silmarillion#the silm#feanor#fingolfin
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i’ve got you inukawa 👍
#mp100#mob psycho 100#maybe I am a little bit too sensitive but some of the inukawa alien sequence made me a bit uncomfortable..#i thought it was beautifully animated but yk..#mp100 spoilers#mob psycho spoilers#mameta inukawa#reigen arakata#shigeo kageyama#tome kurata#im not tagging everyone sorry#anyway the episode was really good! that part made me uncomfortable just cause idk it felt more intense than how it was in the manga..
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after i made the undertale ones i knew i couldn't NOT make matching icons of these 2 aswell...
#mother 3#lucas#claus#mother series#even though there are like 15 ppl active in this fandom ❤️ if nobody uses it can just be me and my sideblog fr🔥🔥#i like these less than the undertale ones maybe bc theyre messierr?? i mean my art is always messy but#idk whenevr i indulge in my special intrrest even literally just drawinf the characters i get this like pain in my chest and like my hands#shake which i knwo is very Not Normal i swear i love it it just makes me feel crazy anxious when i draw with the Intent to post knowing how#so so sensitive i am about it for NO reason im just veruy autistic about this game and have a deep personal connection to it#so anyway the point of that tangent was to say i dont think ill ever make m3 art that ISNT messy bc of thr shaky hands#sorry if you read allat i have a tendency to get too real in the tags#izzy art
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mostly my reasoning for butch scully femme mulder is i wanna see scully with her face covered in lipstick kisses from her DYKE GIRLFRIEND fox mulder :3 they would be such cutie pies
sylvie you are killing me with this. you are killing me so so so much. it's everything to me. i need to go lie down
#<- lover of weird femmes with strange interests#(guy with too fucking many things to draw voice) maybe i should draw this.......#the ms dynamic maps so well into this flavor of butchfemme. femme with a mission running around putting herself in danger and#her butch who will follow her to the end of the world... thats the thing im sensitive about..........#txt#xfiles
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Does this mean Clan Wren is alive in your AU? And by "Clan Wren", I really mean Tristan, since I ship him with Ezra.
very very little of clan wren's alive, could be like 4 ppl tops who knows, but i think its unrealistic every single clanmember died. ON TRISTAN i've been flipflopping between yes and no since the show started. bc on the one hand all of sabine's family being dead works rlly well narratively, she's lost every mandalorian she loves and her whole culture and home planet and has some severe survivors guilt bc she should've been with them instead of her other (also half dead) family and she's dealing with it by being in her fleabag girlfailure era and trying to completely ignore the fact she's mandalorian at all. plus i don't want to disregard ALL of canon gotta keep some things.
on the other hand that's sad and also trizra
#then again you can still have sabine's grief storyline if tristan's alive but dealing with the grief very differently to sabine#however i feel like it works better if tristan died too and. ok maybe hes dead im still not 100%#goddamn now im annoyed abt how much potential the ahsoka show had again#bc like. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABT HOW AHSOKA AND SABINE ARE USING EACH OTHER TO DEAL W THEIR GENOCIDE-GRIEF#ahsoka takes on a non-force-sensitive padawan to distance herself from the jedi/ her lineage#and sabine becomes a padawan to try distance herself from being a mandalorian!!! both using each other unhealthily!!#but in the end they realise this isnt how its meant to be. they need to accept who they are#ahsoka has to come to terms with what her master became and that she IS a jedi#sabine has to come to terms with her grief and accept what happened to her family/ her survivorhood and that she IS a mandalorian#even if she wasnt on mandalore then#and go accept mand'alor din's call to every mandalorian to return to the planet and she leads her broken clan#GAH FUCK ALL THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE WHY DIDNT THEY HAVE ANY FUCKING CHARACTER MOMENTS!!!!!!!!#ahsoka show#thanks for the ask!
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not to be that guy but reducing astarion to "sexy vampire elf" seems like both a disservice to his character and just? sort of weird? especially with how much of his arc is about recovering from sexual trauma
#bg3#astarion#like i get it i guess but it definitely makes me uncomfortable#i know he is a fictional man with fictional trauma but i do not like it#ESPECIALLY the way some ppl talk about certain scenes (the drow twins)#anyway maybe im being too sensitive abt things i just have a lot of thoughts about this game#kal.txt#baldur's gate 3
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They sanitized being queer so much in Veilguard and for what. Your Inquisitor still needs to be binary, and god forbid if they transitioned between games. And for what, Cullen and Solas? Girl, dump him and take his gender. It won't fix you but it'll make shit funnier.
IF more than one romance actually mattered id understand it being too complicated to allow for transition, but seriously? only solas gets more than a codex entry afaik, how hard it would have been to have the m inquisitors record voice lines and have gareth david lloyd record alternate versions of like..any gendered lines which i assume there aren't many of. they should have dropped the illusion that romances had content and just done a 'did you romance solas?' toggle that any inquisitor could turn on lol
#ask#anonymous#sanitised really is the word. when ive finished the game maybe ill properly collect my thoughts on it#im just personally a fantasty homo/transphobia enjoyer. i know some people prefer escapism jn fantasy but#i think it's a good and interesting/safe way to explore feelings and dynamics surrounding being queer#and having veilguard be as surface level as it is wrt transphobia just feels like it isnt fully capturing feelings surrounding being trans#relatability isnt everything but how do you make a trans character feel real when they face none of the struggles#the average trans person faces?#ofc. may be a product of being made by middle class-ish canadians in a liberal city but i think it may be due to ea / sensitivity readers#veilguard spoilers#also im mad about the dorian romance because it feels like they dangle it in front of your face. but also no sera or josie????#theyre literally alive no matter your worldstate. they could have so easily thrown a bone to gay and lesbian players lol#bull's whole deal being butchered is another thing let's not even get into it. weekes you CHOSE to do that.#sorry these are tipsy rantings. but. i get my dissertation results back this week and wrote about negative emotion + transness#in fiction so if i get a good result maybe ill be able to write something real about dav#as it is im too scared to properly think about the topic bc im nervousdjwjdjwjej
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I'm sorry if what I say is wrong in any way, I don't mean to offend you, it's just something I'm not completely sure about. Does Adam use he/they or they/them pronouns? I think I saw a post of yours where you said that Adam uses he/they, but it was a while ago and now I'm not completely sure (and I don't want to use the wrong pronouns)
I know you don't mean anything by it, but I am sad that so many of the asks I get start with people saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you" or some variation thereof, followed by completely normal questions. I think I may have been responding too harshly to too many things and given the impression that I'll jump at people for being wrong...
But asking clarifying questions is always okay. I mean, it's also okay to be wrong and even offensive. What matters is if you learn from it when someone points out that it was wrong or offensive. I won't stop telling people they're saying something hurtful if they are, but I don't want that to lead people to be scared of me or something.
Correcting people is always just about correcting them, not hurting them. It's okay to need to be corrected, were all learning new things every day.
Anyways Adam uses he/they, you remembered correctly
#i dont like when people pry about personal things#especially not when it's accusatory. I'm admittedly sensitive to a lifetime of people denying my identity#people saying i dont count as bi. or nonbinary. or disabled.#and so i tend to take questions around these as people trying to 'sus me out' as a fake or something...#and I'm always going to try to explain. generally gently... how these things are hurtful to me personally#or in the case of my characters how certain things can (in my opinion) be harmful mindsets to have#but i dont carry them with me and im not mad#im just 26 and kinda tired of making myself small to make other people more comfortable.#so. if im uncomfortable ill just say jt!#and ill do my best to explain why so people can maybe learn from it#but as someone who. i talked about this recently elsewhere. as someone who has anger management issues#and unfortunately has had to deal with people i care deeply about being scared of me...#it just makes me sad to see anons being scared of me.#that's all#im not upset or anything. just trying to be a better person.#I'm learning everyday too#asks#anon
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Anyone else remember the little 88x31 buttons from older internet days? I've been remembering them a lot lately.
I make ffxiv ones in msp when I'm in queue or my bf is flying me around between quests.
#shoutout to anyone else who actually uses leg graze#i originally did just the two korpokkur but i made the yukinko this afternoon and its easily my favorite of the 3#and i love the moogles but they dont really fit as a button? maybe i should just make a few more stamps as a series#im not happy with the tomestone - the circuitry feels out of place to me. i want to find some other way to frame it in the button#carrots was last night because we were working on lopporit msq :3#i love the goobbue. i love goobbues ever since ffxi they're so chill#i wanna make a version of the rotting goobbue in amdapor#i love that one too#my art#88x31#idk what to tag this... its technically pixal art but i always have imposter syndrom bc i see people do INCREDIBLE pixel art illustrations#and this is just like... myspace webring hobbyist stuff#ffxiv#ill post them on twitter and bsky when i do a few more i think - right now theyre only in my carrd#and carrd makes them look really crunchy. im scared what tumblr is gonna do to them when i hit post#and i just really really really hate the sound /sweep makes - i think it should count as griefing to afk in public spaces doing it#but thats just my unpopular opinion as someone with audio sensitivity. the emote should not loop
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omgggg i keep spending too much time on reddit and making myself mad help. ppl are so infuriating
#maybe i should delete but i feel invested now waaa#this is why i havent touched twitter since highschool. i have made a critical mistake with reddit tho#why is everyone so quick to be judgemental/CRUEL about trivial things that dont matter !!!#perhaps hypocritical of me cuz now im mad abt this when it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things#but the way they talk abt women on there especially enrages me#or just being negative about harmless things tht make people happy idk maybe im too sensitive
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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