#maybe ill write a what if or something

[sketchy-galaxy]

Cybervore III - Vivisection

Finale

I - II - III

Triggers include descriptions of human organs and cannibalism. Takes places after Episode 10 of ES

Word Count: 2060

The laboratory was quiet in the late night. On the ceiling, hundreds if not thousands of arachnamechs scuttled around each other. The little drones hissed and screeched quietly, as if whispering to each other. Their pink eyes turned to the ground, ever vigilant of someone or something interrupting their master's work.

Below them, their human creator set to complete his dissection. The platform with the scavenged corpse had been lowered. It was still, having not moved besides the head rolling to its right side. Its right arm had been pushed off the table.

Beside it, illuminated in the harsh red light above, was Dr. Meridian. His face was covered with shadow. He hunched over the metal frame, his eyes focused on the task at hand. His energon stained hand pushed his fallen hair out of his face.

 His Cybertronian arm dug half way into the massive creature beneath him. The organs were warm and shifted in place. In one hand, he grabbed the twisting small intestine and pulled it closer. He opened his mouth and bit down, tearing into the organ. It was tough but the energon was sweet on his tongue. The liver had not been enough.

He swallowed the chunk and took another bite. The meat was heavy as it sank to his stomach. His gut still whined, begging for food no matter how much he provided. The energon and gore painted his jaw. He licked his lips and reached in deeper, plucking out a large kidney that fit in his hands.

Originally the man had used the large dull knife to cut his choice cuts into smaller pieces. However he found that when separated from the body the organs cooled too quickly.

He bit into the kidney, savoring the warmth. The taste was tangy, the meat was chewy and tough. Meridian hummed, eyes shut as he tasted the meat and energon. It was delicious. He could feel the way the meat twitched in his mouth, the soft flesh was satisfying to touch and taste. Once he’d swallowed his mouthful he bit down again, tearing another mouthful. The small intestine in his other hand twisted, soft yet firm in his grip.

Meridian froze in his feasting as an arachnamech stepped closer to him. It hissed quietly. The man grit his teeth and turned to the little machine. His bloodshot eyes focused onto it as he spat," Get out of my sight!"

The drone jumped back, the sight of the gore that clung to his black shirt and jaw was a frightening sight. His eyes seemed to flare, the red light seemed to reflect within them. The drone scrambled away, claws clicking against the metal floor. The man huffed, patience worn thin. He leaned on the corpse, his arm held his stomach, his tired eyes glared ahead. He had told them he wanted nothing to interrupt him.

Meridian heard his stomach growling in his ears and bit down onto the thrashing intestine. His teeth dug into the soft flesh and tore the organ apart. 

Piece by piece the man ate. The energon infused organs were his ambrosia. He ripped into the stomach with his nails, tearing it into long slivers. The pancreas was rich, he ignored the gamey texture and savored the flavor. It was new to his taste buds. Energon leaked onto his hands which he quickly licked off his fingers as he ate. Nothing seemed to satisfy him. When he looked away from one organ he would be distracted by another. Halfway through the pancreas he abandoned it for the other kidney.

Another growl from his stomach and Meridian groaned. He leaned over the side of the corpse, almost out of breath. His stomach complained when he stopped. A moment passed as he attempted to catch his breath.

Above, his arachnamechs hissed to one another. If he listened close enough he thought he would have heard voices. Little voices that questioned what he was doing.

Meridian huffed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smearing the Cybertronian’s blood across his face. 

“You’d never understand…” he mumbled to himself. Of course they wouldn’t. They were machines. They wouldn’t understand why humans needed to eat, why they required organic sustenance. They had a battery to recharge, they required electricity to function. They wouldn't understand what it meant to be human.

The human swallowed a lump in his throat and looked up. His eyes seemed to glow red for a moment as he licked his lips. The taste of energon was sweet. His rumbling stomach continued loudly before he set himself upon his meal.

His eyes landed on the heart. In his frenzy he hadn't yet gotten to the chest cavity. The lungs and the heart were settled neatly in the center.

Meridian reached for them. He grinned, baring his pink stained teeth. He stood over the corpse and ripped at the large lungs. It took some effort before the meat was torn off and he bit into it.

This meat was tender compared to the intestines. It was soft in his hands and mouth. He pulled the organ out further, which was difficult on its own with how large it was. Thankfully, most of the other organs that would have been in the way were ripped apart.

He bit down on the flesh and tore it away. He ate quickly, tearing the right lung to pieces. He swallowed another mouthful before setting his sights on the heart.

The man dropped the lung and turned to his abandoned knife. Unfortunately he would have to cut it out. The man sneered in disgust at the idea of eating the organ cold. He gripped the cold handle of the knife.

He almost crawled into the chest cavity, his metal hand grabbed the heart and pulled it up. His left hand fumbled with the knife before he sawed at the tendon holding it in place. Slowly, the heart was cut away from its owner until Meridian took it upon himself to rip it out himself. Energon spilled onto the soft lungs as the arteries were severed.

Dr. Meridian threw the knife to the floor. He lifted the heart to his mouth and bit into it. It was sweet like an apple. The energon that leaked from the arteries left static on his skin. His left hand tingled with charge. Inside, the four chambers were empty. His hands cradled the heavy organ, he bit down again, chewing on the tough meat.

Compared to everything else, Meridian ate slowly. He did not eat the heart like a starved man. He bit into it carefully. He chewed slowly. He savored the meat and how it felt on his tongue and the way the energon dripped down his chin. He savored the smell. Unlike oil, it smelled clean and fresh.

He swallowed slowly, feeling the way the meat fell into his stomach. For once, it was quiet.

The human went to take another bite. He barely realized that the heart was still warm. He didn't give pause, as he was too preoccupied with his meal. Maybe it was due to the amount of energon within it, he hardly cared.

His teeth sank into the side and he felt the organ pulse in his hand. Meridian reeled back and watched the organ as it began to beat, twice at a time. Despite being severed from its body and with its chambers exposed to the air, it beat like a real heart would. He stared, entranced by it.

His mind shifted away from the need to fill his now aching stomach to the organ in his hand. He hadn't stopped to ever wonder why the intestines twisted the way they did, why would he stop now? He had simply assumed it was an involuntary response or an effect of Cybertronian rigor mortis. 

The heart in his hands beat in time with the one in his chest. The man glanced at the still twisting organs. The half eaten intestines pulsed too, twisting in place. The lungs had also begun to expand and contract despite one being ripped apart. As if the being it was connected to was breathing.

Meridian felt his chest tighten as he held his breath.

He recognized the patterns from the simulations he had run in the beginning of the night. The torn open organs were acting as if the being were alive.

Dread settled in his full stomach.

He had assumed the Cybertronian was dead when the now silent arachnamechs had brought it back. He had never thought to check how it had died. He was not conducting an autopsy after all. He was performing a dissection.

When the heart pulsed again in his hands Dr. Meridian froze, eyes locked onto the organ.

He had not considered that he might have been performing a vivisection instead.

Meridian turned his head. His wide eyes locked onto the face of the being on his dinner table.

The dark face with hollow cheeks laid on the side. Like a deer in the headlights, Meridian stood still as the dark eyes illuminated his frame in green light. The light focused on him as he cradled its heart in his hands. The human and the Cybertronian watched each other in silence.

Meridian's thoughts had gone silent. His stomach did not rumble. His heart beat was loud in his ears- or was that the heart in his hands?

The mech opened its mouth.

Meridian flinched.

The words that fell from the Cybertronian's lips were soft. It hummed," Dr. Meridian." It said his name without any hate. Even at the sight of this organic eating its own heart the mech did not not look at him in disgust. It only frowned," Look at where you have fallen."

The human standing before the mech swallowed a lump in his throat.

The mech continued, expression shifting from indifference to disappointment.

"Where else will you go from here?" It asked," What else will you consume in your obsession? Who else are you hungry for?" It asked him curiously. It grew quiet, as if waiting for an answer.

Meridian glanced at the heart in his hands. He opened his mouth but words failed him. It wanted to hear his response. It wanted to know what he had to say for himself. He couldn’t find the words. There he stood, covered in the gore and lifeblood of his enemy, Meridian stood with nothing to say.

But his stomach growled.

Dr. Meridian's stunned expression grew neutral. He closed his mouth and tasted the meat between his teeth. He considered the being’s words. His expression shifted to disgust and then contempt. His nails dug into the pulsating heart. His brow creased in anger. 

He snapped at the mechanical being before him. He snarled," Did you ask that to your kind when they came to this planet! All you violent, warmongering aliens have done is spread your disgusting war to this planet. I will wipe out you and anyone that attempts to stop me from destroying your kind!" He raised the heart to the being's face," No matter if they have a heart or a spark! I will eliminate your kind and will undo the damage you've done!" He spat at them.

The Cybertronian god nodded, its joints creaked and its metal face scraped against the table.

"Then you will destroy yourself." It hummed in finality and the heart's beating ceased.

The green light vanished from the being's eyes and the red light above took its place. Without the light he should have felt at ease. Instead, Meridian felt watched. Not by the arachnamechs as they scurried but by something else. His blood boiled. He huffed, the noise of his arachnamechs filled the air again.

He felt the sticky energon on his face. He reached up and brushed his stained fingertips against it. He looked at the pink stains on his hands. He should have felt disgusted. Instead he was furious. He was sick. He was starving.

He raised the heart to his lips and tore another chunk off the raw meat. He chewed it slowly. The sharp taste of raw meat was delicious. He turned his back to the body and sneered. Whoever that Cybertronian was, he did not care.

He had promised to tear the being limb from limb and he intended to fulfill that promise.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Chat have we discussed drunk chess with cherik cause i just think. That would be the darnedest silliest thing they could do

[triglycercule]

nightmare's gang but they're one of those youtube family channels that extorts the kids. HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

i mean cmon man managing his multiversal takeover scheme must take a lot of money. nightmare needs a source of income. so what better than to torture and extort his gang even more. he makes them behave and act entertaining for the camera because if not they get beat and punished. he has cameras everywhere in the castle for content and to monitor everyone. people online are worried about the "kids" on the channel because they are CLEARLY being abused and exploited. nightmare gets a feast of negativity from these peoples' worries. now do i think that he would be cruel enough to force his gang to act like children for this channel?? i dunno,,,,,,,, perchance (YOU CAN'T JUST SAY PERCHANCE)

idk there's definitely a lot more than could be done with this stupid idea. but i just think,,,,,, i just think it would be funny,,,,, think about it,,,,,,,,,,

[weisscoldglare]

[youngpettyqueen]

I need to talk about Julian's whole thing with Sloan in Extreme Measures cause it does actually make me feel a certain kind of rabid

Extreme Measures is a great episode for the Julian/Miles dynamic and has a lot of great moments with them but I think an underrated element of the episode is how it very plainly shows just how much the Dominion War has changed Julian, and how his morals have shifted into a much greyer area

Julian in this episode is very callous towards Sloan even as he's literally dying. he has no issues violating Sloan's mind, and when Sloan dies, the only reason he actually cares is because the answers and secrets Sloan has will die with him. truly cannot emphasize enough just how deeply Julian fucking hates Sloan, and sheer hatred isnt something we really see all that much from Julian, especially not to the degree he was with Sloan

even with that, though, Julian has never been like that with another patient. Julian doesnt let his personal feelings get in the way of being a doctor, and always treats his patients with the utmost care and his best work. Julian was willing to find a cure for the Jem'Hadar's addiction, simply because they asked for help, even if it meant potentially making them into a much bigger threat than they already were. Julian treated Tain in Camp 371. and, sure, Julian does treat Sloan, but he does so explicitly because Sloan has information they need, not because he has any care for Sloan's life

and I think that- his willingness to violate Sloan's mind to get what they need, and how he didn't particularly care that Sloan died- is a really bleak look at just how much the war has changed Julian and how much it's shifted his moral compass. throughout the war, Julian has been ordered time and time again to compromise his morals. add to that several traumatic events- multiple of which are orchestrated by Sloan- and a slide into deep depression, and it's no wonder he gets to a point where he can do the things he does in this episode

and I dont think it hits him until much later. I think one day, long after the war has ended and theyre still rebuilding everything that was broken, Julian lays awake at night and remembers how bad it got and what he became willing to do, and it makes him sick to his stomach

[idunnowhattowriteheretbh]

Soooooooooo I finished the weapons :D

I don't have much ideas for what to write in here so imma just drop the designs and continue suffering in school skkskskksk

First we gooooot

Bear Axe 2

@beartitled (apologies for the puns I couldn't help myself)

Then we have the comically large hammer

Le Bonker 1000

@insomniphic I'm kinda curious to see how would you lift ot ngl

And then we have the last weapon for Captain! :D

Captain's Staff

@braisedhoney

The staff was the most fun to draw tbh

Also I was this 🤏 close to fully shading the axe and the staff lmao

Anyway time for me to skedadle back into my cave before COL finds me /silly

- CR2868

[cherrirui-official]

Me (eldritch forest creature) rizzing you (mud cowboy) up with my forest dweller swag (it's working)

Inspo

[quinn-pop]

yet another oc that only exists because i wanted to write something very specific

(middle is a little older, hence her scar healing. i like to think she gets a glass eye at some point)

anyway this is mira! (they/she) since that wip is almost 20k words and counting i won’t give away too much but long story short she’s the result of meta going “one last time, i promise” and adopting yet another kid

also galaxia kinda indirectly picked the name :)

i’ve mentioned before that i headcanon that pretty much all astrals are autistic and this is just kinda an extension of that. whereas meta tends to suppress his emotions and conform to others, mira…doesn’t. she gets uncomfortable and upset and lashes out at people easily, and working through their emotions is no small task.

the main reason i chose to write them that way was for the sake of narrative but i’ve grown attached to it because there’s a lot of ideas there i’d like to explore. stuff about navigating emotions and relationships when existing is so suffocatingly uncomfortable. it’s not something i could center around Kirby himself, but i think it makes sense with a post character development meta knight.

they are very loved (omg oldee cameo???)

kirby was definitely very excited to have younger siblings after being used to being the youngest in the room for so long!! (with the like. one and only exception being gooey.) he’s super affectionate with both of them and wants to have a close relationship one day, but for now mira is pretty unappreciative of that fact lol. they don’t like being pestered for hugs

everyone else is okay tho

(i know that’s hard to read. oops. “obvious bite marks”. siblings being siblings.)

mira also has a very love/hate relationship with the egg kid, being so close in age they kinda Have to get along but in typical sibling nature they also fight a lot. sure it’s probably rough for a while but i think in the end they’d be good buddies. maybe not as close as Kirby and Bandee but still.

anyway i have a lot of thoughts and am very busy but. i’m really enjoying writing about all this lately it’s been fun ^^

[hoshiina]

pairing: akatsuki hyoga x gn!reader (no prns)

request: is this how you request something? ive been using tumblr for just a couple of days and im not used to anything ...i hope this is okay!

could i request a hyoga x gn reader? where reader is kind of blunt and direct with the things they say and end up confessing to hyoga while training with him out of an accident; like they say "this is why i like you!" and then they get really embarrassed about it, however, they dont deny anything and wait for hyoga's response.

if the term handsome could be used to describe reader i would really appreciate it. have a nice day!!! i absolutely fell in love with how you write this man

warnings: it’s very short, hyoga is sweet again, reader is referred to as handsome

While you were never one to beat around the bush— you didn’t really see a point in it— even you would admit that this was not how you planned to share your feelings with him.

It was truly like any other day, you were forcing him to train with you and through all his complaints of how he wished to train alone and how he wished you would leave him alone, he would always help you. His excuse was always that he had to make sure you weren’t going to hold him back when we have to fight, but you knew he was worried about you and the rest of the village deep down and wished for more people who were capable of fighting. However harsh his words may be, his actions always spoke louder than his words. He was strict and hard when you were sparring, but when he was demonstrating better form for certain moves, he was surprisingly gentle.

It was very obvious that he respected you very much, even if he would never say so ever.

So while others wondered why such a handsome individual as yourself, with so many people eager to get a chance to talk to you, would be so invested in talking to Hyoga of all people, it was because you knew he was not as cold and ruthless as everyone thought he was. Deep inside you were aware he cared for many, even if not everyone.

Today he went on again about how your form was very unproper and how you had blind spots everywhere, putting yourself in complete danger depending on the situation. This was not out of the ordinary, but today you were a little curious how he’d respond if you teased him a little.

“You’re quite sweet aren’t you, Hyoga,” you said.

Immediately, he paused and frowned a little.

“How could you possibly have come to that conclusion?” he asked, scoldingly.

“You may not think so, but it’s rather obvious that you do care,” you said.

“I think you’re rather delusional if anything. I’m just worried you’re not going to last minutes against any modern weapon. As of now I do not wish to imagine what’d happen if you’re against a gun of any sort,” he said, rambling on about potential dangers that you would be utterly unprepared for and it only put a smile to your face. You truly didn’t mean to say it out loud, but this was exactly why you loved him— he cares a lot.

“This is why I like you,” you said, before you could stop the words from spilling out. You were going to make something up and deny the fact, until you saw how caught off guard Hyoga looked. You had never seen him look like that ever.

So instead you stopped and looked at him, absolutely nervous, but serious. After what seemed like forever, he finally said something.

“I don’t understand, why do you like me?” he asked, confused what prompted that statement.

“Oh, because you care,” you said. “You’re sweet.”

His eyes widened and a slight smile, hardly visible, but definitely there, appeared on his face. Never in his life would he have thought you could tell his harsh words came from a place of genuine care. However, he could tell that you had slightly the wrong idea, so he had to make it clear.

“I only care about you,” he said.

[faaun]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

[energysynergymatrix]

Ok I bit the bullet and made an Ososan OC and his full name is Len Kanemaru.

He's the so-called perfect guy, pretty boy barista type turned up to 11, who might as well have manifested from thin air, who has genuine fanboys and fangirls, and most of the Matsunos want him fucking dead. He's oblivious to both of these aspects of the public opinion and seems kind of empty headed for the most part. He is also struggling just as badly as them but literally no one would believe him if he told them.

He also wants to kiss the oldest DESPITE the fact that his brothers are so jealous of him for being so perfect. Shenanigans ensue.

If you want a more detailed write up about him read the cut.

OK SO . Len is a guy trying his best to pretend to be an adult despite wanting to be anything but it. Unlike the Matsunos who dont pretend to be an adult and are anything but it, Len is trying to push through adult life while wanting to return to childhood when things were easier.

Sure he has a job as barista, but he's poor with money, spending it like he's still a teenager, struggles to maintain contact with people he’s befriended outside of work, DESPITE thinking people hating him is the end of the world, and surprisingly, still lives with his parents.

The thing is that he's REALLY good at pretending to have it all together. He has quite a few fanboys and fangirls and is often described as a prince. (It’s because of his charmingly good customer service skills that is his only real social experience post highschool.) But, despite being in his mid twenties, hes kind of poorly equipped socially and is unable to pick this up, despite it being clear to literally everyone.

(Like he thinks he’s being bad at pretending to be a well put together adult, and then turns around and can handle rush pretty well understaffed, not make any mistakes, and still keep a pleasant demeanor that his admirers swoon over. Anytime someone does act like a fan trying to get his love it’s met with confusion and just. “Huh.” more than anything. He doesn’t even reject them because he doesn’t realize so many people are in love with him)

This includes quite a few Matsunos who are jealous of him for being so popular (and admittedly kind of cool), find his princely yet oblivious attitude almost annoying, and somewhat creepy because of how much he knows about them from highschool. And those who aren't irritated by him are relatively apathetic towards him.

The only reason theyre so aware of him is the fact that he and Todomatsu worked at the same cafe before the latter quit. It was after he quit that Len properly met the sextuplets, having a chance encounter with the boys sometime after. Todomatsu was already irritated by him, by again, seeing above, but also because he already seemed intimately familiar with Totty during his highschool years.

It's like they had a whole classmate just manifest into being while skipping the "actually go to class together" part.

(They did actually go to school together but literally no one knew he existed during then. Not to their fault though, Len was basically that one vine that's like "I can't I have so much to do tomorrow" *fucks around on the keyboard. Because of that Len ended up being bad with people by the time he graduated and was ushered into the work force by his parents. As a result he can't really keep friends, often times contact dying off on accident. A lot of the time spent working is him TRYING his best to maintain relationships as an adult but it never really works out. Deep down Len wishes he could redo highschool, so he could not only get this skills but also find some memories that he so clearly missed out on. Because he willingly opted out of making those therefore other people don’t remember him. As far as he knows he hasn’t really had a friend since middle school.)

But like after the two and Totty's brothers encountered each other in public a whole bomb got dropped and nothing was the same.

Despite generally not liking him the Matsunos keep him around, mostly due to Totty's insistence saying they can use him (so they cant kill him yet!) but because Len is kind of bad with people in general outside of having a fandom (that, again, came with his customer service skills), and the Matsunos are the Matsunos, this never ever goes well.

Despite this and how much shenanigans the Matsunos end up dragging him into, he considers them friends since its the closest relationship he's maintained outside of his house. On top of that, he almost admires them for being NEETs. He's kind of ashamed of it, because he knows they have to be an adult, but because he's struggling so much as an adult, he wants nothing more than to be like them. He wants to stop being an adult and return to highschool.

It's why he takes to Osomatsu so much, since he seems most open about how shitty he is and how much he doesnt want to grow up. Like weirdly enough, his man-child behavior is what makes Len likes him so much. Sure he also has a big heart and loves his family, and Len can acknowledge Oso’s best aspects, but it’s the worst parts of him that loves.

And that admiration for having his character laid out flat and embracing his childishness despite his age and situation, how he practically will just grow up when he wants to rather than when he has to (unlike Len), makes the perfect man fall for the loser guy.

The more he hangs around the Matsunos the more they encourage him to tap into his evil side, and may end up making him worse, but for now he's Mr Perfect and most of them hate him for that. He doesn't get the message though so he's just kind of hanging around them for now.

Anyways he and Osomatsu are literally I'm Glad You're Evil Too to me . And also look at these sketches of him .

[ravs6709]

idk if this is something im maybe hallucinating or maybe its just the posts that i see occasionally but ifl sometimes its hard for the fandom to let yjh exist outside of kdj?? like i know the whole kdj being the reason for the story and yjh as an extension to exist is a thing but yjh separating himself from the narrative and establishing himself as not just the protagonist but a person is Also a thing and i feel like we don't talk about it as much.

like i dont know man!! maybe this is all in my head but sooo much of the yjh content also doubles as joongdok?? and you KNOW i love good joongdok but where are the character studies. where are the deep dives. where is the acknowledging yjh as an intricately convoluted and complex characters with his own wishes and desires and the way those desires fuel the narrative like goddddd hes SUCH a Character i think we need to discuss it more. anyways hes my fave btw no one gets him like i do

NO YOURE SO RIGHT THAT IS EXACTLY WHATS HAPPENING

Like yjh becoming a Person is his whole growth??? I haven't been consuming nearly as much orv content, and I'm pretty sure it's for this very reason cause I want more character studies so bad!! Or dynamics with other members of kimcom!!

You ever think about him and mia, mia who is suddenly so distant from her brother, you ever think about him and jihye, how she wants to be strong like him

Or sp!!! Who carries so much grief, and it saddens me that his "why is it not me, but you?" line got reduced to "oh he's jealous he doesn't have a kdj" when it's "he doesn't have ANY companions he doesn't have a SISTER A DISCIPLE A TEACHER"

[nightjarring]

Actually listening to the ASOIAF books has made me start to think that people who treat this series as the ultimate example of Bad Gross Male Fantasy Writing might actually just be stupid.

Idk how you read these without taking note of the fact these books are explicitly about people who are othered by the incredibly harsh, rigid society they live in. The vast majority of the perspective characters are disadvantaged in some way, most of them are either physically disabled, women, or otherwise socially outcast, or some combination of those things. The books so far are an incredibly detailed exploration of the intersection of privelage and disenfranchisement and I am actually annoyed at all the people giving writing advice who bust these out as the ultimate What Not To Do bad icky no-no series.

[absurdumsid]

WAIT WAIT NEW ALNST UPLOAD TODAY ?? HOLY SHIT IM NOT READT FOR THIS

[bitterseaproduction]

Me: *sits up straight in sickbed out of nowhere*

Me: That ‘akeshu bond as children but they don’t recognize each other in P5’ idea, but it works because, as detective prince and criminal transfer, they’re both using pseudonyms. 😳

Housemate: ???

[seariii]

My take on Kotoko as a morally gray person, about a morally gray character who thinks in black and white

first of all, i absolutely love this woman, so all of this comes from a kotoko enjoyer, but when talking about canon i can not turn the blind eye to the wrongs she has done. i will talk about my perception of her murder, of her as a character and about her beating up the guilty prisoners (i will put this emoji 🐺 when i jump subjects just to keep it organized)

this next phrase is my personal take, i know some will disagree with me and thats okay, which also works as a tl;dr:

Kotoko didnt do anything wrong outside the prison, but she did wrong inside of it

i know beating up people isnt actually good, but she did research upon research to get to the bottom of the cases she was investigating and found the culprits this way. "but she could've brought them upon justice" and you arent wrong about that, but the victim she actually murdered, even when his identity was revealed to the public, the law didnt bring justice upon him.

screenshots & translations from @/maristelina (i didnt put everything in here, if you wanna check all the articles, please go check on their post!)

her victim was a child murderer, he had already killed 10 girls in 2 years, but even then, he was still free because of his father’s position of power. 

then we have her other victim, the man she beat up and sent to the hospital

there are a couple articles dedicated to this one. but a quick run down: the man, Mikio Oshii, was wanted for theft and assault, having tricked at least 2 or 3 elderly people, pretending to be a bank employee, and convincing them to hand over cash, he pushed one of his victims, fracturing her ankle. 

then we have the article about Kotoko’s assault. again a quick run down: someone heard screaming and found a man lying on the ground, who had lost consciousness after being beaten up, and was taken to the hospital. the police suspects a man (kotoko was wearing men’s sneakers and covering herself up). the victim was wanted for theft and assault charges and was Mikio Oshii.

further proving that she was aiming at people who prayed on the weak, she had good intentions (at least at first), and we also have the facts that she was trying to go through the lawful(?) path at first 

she was studying law, showing us that she genuinely believed her cause, bringing justice to the world and protecting the innocent, or “weaklings” as she calls them, more on that later.  that she was gonna try and go for the morally correct route, but what changed? what is that thing she “wants to do”? i hope we get to see her reasoning on the next trial. for now i agree with the theory that says that her or her family was victim of someone like the guy that was above law for having money and a father with a position of power. showing her the flaws of the law/justice system and thus taking matters into her own hands.

🐺 i personally believe that there are some people who dont deserve second chances, like pedos and rapists, and like the man kotoko murdered, between others. so this is why i forgive her from her crimes. she did proper research, she is passionate about it, she wants to protect the weak, or thats what she tries to convince herself of, because this brings me to my next point

she does have those violent tendencies, and she enjoys them

“this feels so good”

this is from the t1 trailer, people suspect this were phrases they said after their murders. so i think there is a possibility that while she was trying to convince herself that her actions were for justice, to try and protect the weak, and i dont doubt that that was where it came from at first, she ended up doing it out of personal enjoyment.

i once read that “if you do a good deed because you want to do it, it means that you arent a good person. to be a good person you need to do good deeds without wanting something in return” meaning that you should be uninterested on even the satisfaccion of said deed. this is a phrase that i absolutely hate and dont agree with, but i think it applies in here. kotoko was trying to do something “good” (morality is on the bearer’s eyes) by bringing to justice people who kept escaping it, by taking revenge for those weaklings she so desperately wants to protect, and while thats her main motivation, she also does it because she wants to.

i believe my girl has a thirst for power. she is self righteous, the way she refers to the people she wants to protect as “weaklings” its like shes putting them down in some way, the way on her VD she just wants to keep rambling about her theories, the way she inserted herself on Mikoto’s interrogation, the way she just assumes Es’ intentions and doesnt seem to accept when they call her out on it. she doesnt listen to others at all and once her mind is set on something, there is nothing that can move her from there. she isnt a good person…. but also, she isnt a bad person, and i feel that the fandom forgets those two statements can coexist. even if she sees herself as a saint, and firmly believes that she did nothing wrong, thats because

🐺 her world view is black and white. and this is why while i condone her actions on her murder, i do not condone her actions of beating up the guilty prisoners.

a lot of the prisoners have a black and white morality, heck, milgram itself as a system IS black and white. and from what i’ve read, a lot of the fandom also thinks in black and white. all of which i find extremely… interesting…. tbf its the nd majority vote game about nd murderers on the nd website, so makes sense (im half joking, sorry)

kotoko attacked the guilty prisoners because thats what she had been doing, and thats what she got voted innocent for on t1 (i wasnt around). but no one told her to do that, she acted on her own, she misinterpreted her judgment and forced her opinions and methods on others, claiming it were Es’, without their knowledge and without ours.

as a side note, when i first got into the fandom, i found surprising to see that kotoko was inno and fuuta was guilty on t1, since from my perspective their crimes are basically the same, they both exposed and harrowed “bad” people.

i make a lot of emphasis on black and white thinking, since its something im familiarized with, for example lets talk Amane since its her trial is still going

she is the type of girl who will correct other’s mistakes, who will call them out and try to fix them so that the others can be right, like her. her truth is absolute and even when it flails, she stands her ground and proceeds to believe in herself and her views of the world. in what i said, you could re read that and it would also apply to kotoko, and just like her, Amane also convinced herself of doing something she wanted to do by telling herself it was the right thing to do. kotoko’s “protecting the weaklings” directly translates to amane’s “punishing her mother for her sins (hurting the cat)”. so while in both cases there were hidden feelings, something tells me neither of the girls knew about their own ulterior motives, thats how well they convinced themselves.

people who think in black and white just see it as it is, right or wrong, left or right, green or blue, there is no other choice but those two. and from my personal experiences with myself and with others, its something you end up applying in almost every aspect of your life and its really difficult to change up this way of thinking. beginning to see the grays of the world and its other options its not an easy task without some proper help

overall, i dont believe she was right for hurting the guilty prisoners, and fuuta losing his eye because of her gives me a horrible gut feeling. overall, it also ties on her need for power, since she firmly believes shes Es’ “fang”, thus reducing herself a weapon for justice, not implementing her own judgment anymore, but someone else’s, ours, which my problem with her actions in this scenario. i firmly believe that if outside the prison she had came across mahiru or fuuta, she wouldn’t have attacked them, but  after her t1 inno, and getting her ideals supported, her beliefs became radical, and now shes going based on our ideals, our judgments, our right or wrong, our black and white morality, MILGRAM’s black and white morality.

🐺 im still a kotoko inno truther, and i love her, shes my favorite character. but i dont expect her to get innocent this trial, as she did wrong. i dont want to say it was our fault that she harmed the other prisoners, since we had no way of knowing this would happen. in retrospect we can say whatever we want, but none of us can read the future. 

i dont even have a real argument on why you should vote her innocent “shes pretty” is not good enough lmao… but who knows, maybe we will see something that makes her worthy of an inno vote on her second trial a few months from now (not counting on it, probably wont be enough)

in the end i wrote this because im really passionate about this character and her black and white views on the world (shes so intense). and because this beautiful person @archivalofsins told me to "keep talking about kotoko" and i have zero self control regarding this fictional woman.

🐺 i believe with the help of a third party, someone who could act as a moral compass to her and could teach her that the world has more colors, more choices, and if she actually learns about this, she would end up being an amazing thing. 

also, if the theory about her being an accomplice of the serial killer turns out to be true, i will puke and cry :)