#and maybe choromatsu i think

[energysynergymatrix]

Ok I bit the bullet and made an Ososan OC and his full name is Len Kanemaru.

He's the so-called perfect guy, pretty boy barista type turned up to 11, who might as well have manifested from thin air, who has genuine fanboys and fangirls, and most of the Matsunos want him fucking dead. He's oblivious to both of these aspects of the public opinion and seems kind of empty headed for the most part. He is also struggling just as badly as them but literally no one would believe him if he told them.

He also wants to kiss the oldest DESPITE the fact that his brothers are so jealous of him for being so perfect. Shenanigans ensue.

If you want a more detailed write up about him read the cut.

OK SO . Len is a guy trying his best to pretend to be an adult despite wanting to be anything but it. Unlike the Matsunos who dont pretend to be an adult and are anything but it, Len is trying to push through adult life while wanting to return to childhood when things were easier.

Sure he has a job as barista, but he's poor with money, spending it like he's still a teenager, struggles to maintain contact with people he’s befriended outside of work, DESPITE thinking people hating him is the end of the world, and surprisingly, still lives with his parents.

The thing is that he's REALLY good at pretending to have it all together. He has quite a few fanboys and fangirls and is often described as a prince. (It’s because of his charmingly good customer service skills that is his only real social experience post highschool.) But, despite being in his mid twenties, hes kind of poorly equipped socially and is unable to pick this up, despite it being clear to literally everyone.

(Like he thinks he’s being bad at pretending to be a well put together adult, and then turns around and can handle rush pretty well understaffed, not make any mistakes, and still keep a pleasant demeanor that his admirers swoon over. Anytime someone does act like a fan trying to get his love it’s met with confusion and just. “Huh.” more than anything. He doesn’t even reject them because he doesn’t realize so many people are in love with him)

This includes quite a few Matsunos who are jealous of him for being so popular (and admittedly kind of cool), find his princely yet oblivious attitude almost annoying, and somewhat creepy because of how much he knows about them from highschool. And those who aren't irritated by him are relatively apathetic towards him.

The only reason theyre so aware of him is the fact that he and Todomatsu worked at the same cafe before the latter quit. It was after he quit that Len properly met the sextuplets, having a chance encounter with the boys sometime after. Todomatsu was already irritated by him, by again, seeing above, but also because he already seemed intimately familiar with Totty during his highschool years.

It's like they had a whole classmate just manifest into being while skipping the "actually go to class together" part.

(They did actually go to school together but literally no one knew he existed during then. Not to their fault though, Len was basically that one vine that's like "I can't I have so much to do tomorrow" *fucks around on the keyboard. Because of that Len ended up being bad with people by the time he graduated and was ushered into the work force by his parents. As a result he can't really keep friends, often times contact dying off on accident. A lot of the time spent working is him TRYING his best to maintain relationships as an adult but it never really works out. Deep down Len wishes he could redo highschool, so he could not only get this skills but also find some memories that he so clearly missed out on. Because he willingly opted out of making those therefore other people don’t remember him. As far as he knows he hasn’t really had a friend since middle school.)

But like after the two and Totty's brothers encountered each other in public a whole bomb got dropped and nothing was the same.

Despite generally not liking him the Matsunos keep him around, mostly due to Totty's insistence saying they can use him (so they cant kill him yet!) but because Len is kind of bad with people in general outside of having a fandom (that, again, came with his customer service skills), and the Matsunos are the Matsunos, this never ever goes well.

Despite this and how much shenanigans the Matsunos end up dragging him into, he considers them friends since its the closest relationship he's maintained outside of his house. On top of that, he almost admires them for being NEETs. He's kind of ashamed of it, because he knows they have to be an adult, but because he's struggling so much as an adult, he wants nothing more than to be like them. He wants to stop being an adult and return to highschool.

It's why he takes to Osomatsu so much, since he seems most open about how shitty he is and how much he doesnt want to grow up. Like weirdly enough, his man-child behavior is what makes Len likes him so much. Sure he also has a big heart and loves his family, and Len can acknowledge Oso’s best aspects, but it’s the worst parts of him that loves.

And that admiration for having his character laid out flat and embracing his childishness despite his age and situation, how he practically will just grow up when he wants to rather than when he has to (unlike Len), makes the perfect man fall for the loser guy.

The more he hangs around the Matsunos the more they encourage him to tap into his evil side, and may end up making him worse, but for now he's Mr Perfect and most of them hate him for that. He doesn't get the message though so he's just kind of hanging around them for now.

Anyways he and Osomatsu are literally I'm Glad You're Evil Too to me . And also look at these sketches of him .

[mushimatsu]

choromatsu handwriting post

compiled all of choromatsus handwriting that i could find bc i love him

i realize these were all made by different teams and have different sources (anime/games/webkuji/etc) but there are some similarities between them all and i think its cute. i'll try to make it easier for ppl that cannot read japanese too

(note: some of these may or may not be valid criticisms, im not a native japanese speaker but i got my bachelors in japanese. idk if this means anything to anyone im just pointing out things that im noticing and maybe it will be interesting to you. if you notice anything else interesting feel free to add)

commonalities i noticed:

sometimes will combine multiple character strokes into one (normal thing to do, i've seen some native speakers do this)

with a few exceptions (mt takao for some reason), generally neat handwriting. proper and easy to read. not too big, not too small, not over stylized, but not messy either. very choromatsu

letter in s1e24

very nice handwriting, legible and neat. this is closest to how i think i would picture his handwriting. i know that the staff across different ososan things probably don't care too deeply about keeping minute handwriting details consistent and that's why they're all gonna look different but i like this one best for him.

new years cards in s2e13

very cute, love the stupid drawing of himself. everything very nice and tidy. to me these characters look a much curlier and rounder than the ones in the letter.

for both the letter and the new years cards it looks like he was careful to properly write out all the strokes of the kanji, even for more complicated ones like 緊張 and 就職. we see in mt takao that his handwriting gets a LOT messier. i know the real reason is because it was probably different animators that did his handwriting, but i'm choosing to believe that in canon it's because both of these are more fancy/formal letters addressed to people, whereas the trip guide is just for him and his brothers and doesn't necessarily need to look nice.

also i adore his tendency to add little drawings to things, like this and the mt takao guide he's everything

trip guide from mt. takao s3e8. his handwriting here, for some reason, is exceptionally bad especially compared to everything else. he writes like a little kid and i love his shitty little drawings. he's so cute.

my teachers would always correct my kanji down to the tiniest strokes, if i wrote like this is class i would get scolded so bad. you can see him combining his strokes together for 記念撮影, this will continue for the other pictures too. cute detail imo

the 昼 in 昼食 is definitely written wrong, but the second kanji 食 might be a little nitpicky. technically that bottom part is three different strokes, not two crossed over each other

more of him combining the strokes together. i wouldn't necessarily say that's wrong, since i've seen people do that before; it's probably just a habit that happens over time. i do it in english too

HOWEVER, he did write the 日 radical in 撮影 wrong here. previously, i thought he was just combining strokes again so that it looked like three lines instead of two (note 3 and 4 are two parallel lines, he just didn't lift his pen up)

but when you look at this it's clear that he very much did write three lines this time. that's the wrong radical

anyway

another example of him writing a two stroke character with just one. again, this is fine, ive seen people write their characters like this. however it looks bad when he does it here

i love how he wrote "campfire" i love how for some reason he didn't keep the letter sizing consistent or straight. also his little campfire drawing

１９時

キャンプ

ファイヤー

also there's two ways to write そ, its just a matter of choice its not important but he writes it the second way. and he messed up a kanji again

these next ones are maybe less canon cause they're not from the show itself

Airport Matsu

very tidy, combines a couple strokes together. both 松 (matsu) characters look like he combines the last two strokes together instead of writing them as two separate ones

and he does a similar thing with the right half of 野 in Matsuno

nostalgic moments webkuji

this one he writes every stroke and doesn't combine them and that's probably because different people worked on these and the tiny details like this don't matter to anyone but me. or you could say that he wrote a little neater in high school and started simplifying things as he got older.

Rock School

he drew himself again lol

i think his handwriting looks very good here actually. idk how to describe it but i like when handwriting looks like this specific way in japanese. i've seen other people that have handwriting like this and it just looks so nice. like the characters seem to vary in size, but somehow it makes it a little easier to read imo?

like in the first bullet point (underlined in yellow), the す in 多すぎる is a little big, but like it looks nice. in the second bullet point (blue), the の in 世の中 is slightly smaller but it emphasizes the kanji on either side of it. the stroke on the side of the か characters are written a little longer than usual (red). like it just looks nice, everything is shaped really nice and whenever i see people that have this handwriting i always try to emulate it lol

Neetpro

this one is a bit messier than the others. the way he wrote チョロ just doesn't look as nice as the way he wrote it in airport matsu and nostalgic moments. the way the て is written is more curved compared to the others. also the 界 kanji (blue) is written in a way that looks weird to me, and kara from this same set also writes the kanji that way so i think the same person might have written all of them lol

also interesting is that he writes き differently in this one

i was told by one of my professors that you're supposed to write さ and き with the upper and lower parts disconnected when writing by hand. it's only in text that they're connected. but i've still seen some people write them in the connected way

in all the other examples, choromatsu doesn't write them connected like that, just this one.

sukiya app

my lovely boy and his nonsense words and lies. the handwriting here comes off as very cutesy to me, at least compared to the others. some of the ways he writes, especially any box-like shape, seems round in a way. he also connects the right half of 野 again.

overall writes very neatly, altho a lot of the kanji here seems like its very big on the top and smaller on the bottom, and a lot of the letters seem more rounded. all the other examples just feel like the writing is a bit more angular, with the exception of the new years cards.

extra: coloring book

the way he wrote his name here is messier than the other examples. i like that he added little commentary on his own coloring though ("looks good!" "the tail was black too i believe") maybe he colored this with a paintbrush????? the strokes look as if he was trying to write quickly with a brush as if it was a pen. so maybe that's why its a little messier

anyway thanks for reading. i love choromatsu

[brofightiscancelled]

little brother / older brother

[eponymousfics]

Ooo monster alternate universe ? 👀 I mean, there's beyond just a few AUs with them as monsters/mythical creatures but what do you personally view as 'most fitting' for each brother ... ?

This. Um. This answer spiraled and really got away from me. Sorry it took so long to get to it >_>

But here's some visual aids:

(The rest is going under a cut bc the explanations get long. because i'm incapable of shutting up lol)

OK so roster of sextuplets as monsters according to their personalities and most "monstrous" traits:

Oso:

I went with a kind of tanuki yokai thing because they're associated with trickery, laziness, crassness, and shapeshifting. Also drinking lol

The idea is he's pretty low-level and weak compared to other yokai but he still has magic, which is more than can be said for any human he comes across, so that inflates his ego and emphasizes his absolute worst traits.

He'd be kind of a devil figure, someone who makes underhanded and twisty deals where whatever service he provides you either sucks or only lasts long enough for him to get his payment and book it.

If you run into him in the woods he will follow you and pester you until you agree to a shitty deal.

But he's also not that bright so if you're careful you can wriggle out of the worst consequences, get away with just a lot of wasted time.

Kara:

Classic werewolf, to emphasize his two-faced side. I think he would try his best to blend in among humans, and Kara is Kara so that involves trying to be a cool biker guy to varying degrees of success.

I think he's lonely and subconsciously looking for a pack, but he's also got some "no babe, i'm a monster, i'll hurt youuuu" kinda angst working against him. I think his wolf transformations are a toss up between Slavering Eldritch Wolf Beast that will kill indiscriminately and completely harmless doggo who will beg for treats incessantly

He can be very protective and kind and loving but he is also a monster, he can be petty and vicious and violent, and I think the melodrama of werewolf transformations and symbolism (especially the animal instinct vs. humanity thing) fit him pretty well. Of the brothers, I think he'd be doing his best to actually integrate with human society, not just prey on it or play with it.

Choro:

He's an evil ghost. He looks innocent at first glance, some quiet young man who asks for some innocuous help or offers to do a small kindness for you, like walking an old lady across the street.

But the moment you accept his offer or ask him for anything, he's bonded to you and starts to slowly leech your life force for himself.

He's very polite the whole time, and while his requests might get more and more demanding as you grow weaker, his pointed smile never wavers. It gets harder and harder to say no, until you finally fade away yourself, and he moves onto the next sucker.

However, if you decline his request he won't ask again out of sheer embarrassment, so as long as you cotton on to the fact that he isn't human at the start, you're fairly safe.

Wherever he's standing, for some reason, there always seems to be a huge flat expanse of nothing stretching out behind him, partially obscured by fog.

He wants and he wants but he only knows how to take, never how to give or reciprocate beyond the shallowest, lowest-effort means.

Ichi:

I picked boogieman, but specifically the Discworld variety, where they're always hiding behind doors or under beds and scare children simply because children believe they're real, and therefore they are. They can be defeated with a blanket over their head, because everyone knows that boogiemen disappear if you put your head under a blanket, therefore if you put their head, the boogieman believes that he doesn't exist.

Which is very distressing for the boogieman.

So he's fairly easy to defeat, but I think he'd have a great time scaring the shit out of people and hiding/lurking in dark places. Rifling through people's private closet stashes, whatever they are.

He's potentially befriendable if you see him but show you're not scared. You can try offering a glass of milk. He loves scaring people but is also curious and lonely.

Jyushi:

Anthropomorphic personification of destructive fire.

He's an unstoppable force of nature, and while he isn't malicious, he has so much energy. And unfortunately, it burns everything to ash. He can do his best to rein himself in, but it doesn't change the fact that to touch him is to burn.

He's very cheerful though, definitely a lot of elements of Calcifer in him, but he also revels in fulfilling his purpose: burning shit to the ground.

He can be tamed, briefly, in campfires and hearths, but requires constant supervision. He can be everywhere at once in a breath, and you'll die sucking down his smoke.

He likes people. They give him so many places to live, and so much to eat. He wishes they would last a little longer when he comes around to visit.

Todo:

Fae, but specifically using a glamor to make himself look nice and princely. Underneath he's something more like a lich, and his pretty persona is there to lure you in.

He likes toying with people. He likes tricking them and pulling the wool over their eyes, both visually and in the twisty deals he makes with them.

Which he never refers to as deals, they're just pinky promises. That's not threatening, right? It's just a little promise. Don't worry about it. Don't look beneath the glitter.

Like Kara, he's extremely two-faced, but unlike Kara, he doesn't really care about humans or being part of their society. He'll take what he wants from people (which doesn't always cost them their lives) and disregard the rest. He needs to eat, after all.

SO that's my serious personality-based answer, I also have alternatives though because I love monsters. These are like, if I were picking monsters specifically for more wholesome or romantic AUs. The above ones would technically be romanceable, but the genre would probably be more horror and angst, vs the following are for lighthearted fun.

(you can tell which set i drew first lol)

Oso:

Classic incubus/devil, the transactional and non-commitment based nature of it works for him. He could be persuaded to fall in love with someone, maybe, but he lovessss sleeping around with no strings attached.

Once again, being a monster gives him actual powers, so he winds up being insufferably smug. You can tell that I don't like drawing feet lol

Kara:

Like a satyr but with bull parts instead of goat? I'm not sure what to call those. I'd say minotaur, but that's specifically with a bull's head and human body, not this way around.

But similar to the Greek Minotaur, he's kinda isolated and lonely, too big and too awkward to fit in with normal society. He tries to make himself small and quiet and appealing by learning music and things like that. Kind of a gentle giant thing.

Choro:

Frog prince, but caught in between. He's like a half-metamorphosed tadpole, with the arms and legs, but still with a tail. Idk I just wanted him to be slimy and awkward.

I'm not sure why I keep choosing washed out colors for Choro as a monster, maybe because I think he'd be the most self-conscious or distant about it? Like, most of the others would revel in or embrace their monster status, but I think Choro, while fulfilling his "job" as a monster, would always hate that he was one deep down.

A simple kiss probably won't break his curse. In the original fairy tale, the princess needs to learn to look past her disgust at having a frog husband, but in this case Choro needs to learn to look past his own sliminess and find worth in himself and others.

Ichi:

Blobby shadow monster, idk what to call it. He's got a bit more substance and weight than mere darkness, it's a bit more drippy and fluid.

But like the boogieman version, he can hide and blend in shadows and scare people, although he mostly chooses to watch. I think he's an accretion of the misery of the isolated, and goes to keep them company as they die. Or get help and get better. In the former case, their souls become part of him. In the latter, he just leaves.

In some ways, he wants to help. But he doesn't think there's anything he can do but be a witness. So he watches.

Jyushi:

Cyclops/oni thing, absolutely huge and cheerful and unfortunately clumsy. He does his best but he breaks things all the time. People still like him though, they just have to be very very careful. Luckily he has amazing hearing so he's so far managed not to step on anyone.

He could act as a guardian for a city, or as a transport service between towns. He can also rip up trees and deposit them directly in lumberyards for people to start chopping up. He's very useful.

But he does get a bit lonely. People are always happy to see him, but it's usually because they have a request. No one every wants to hear about this fun new game he invented using boulders and his club.

His laughter often causes avalanches on nearby mountain ranges.

Todo:

Classic vampire, because at least one of them had to be. I think it's fitting for Totty, who once again can use his appearance to lure people in and get what he wants from them.

Only, of course, most people nowadays are quite happy to have the attention of a vampire, even if they know where it's going. And he loves getting to dress up and be fancy.

He's arrogant and entitled, but less malicious than his fae persona.

END

ANYWAY I'm SO SORRY this spiraled so hard, I was just typing up a reply and then next thing I knew I was hunched over my drawing tablet and it'd been six hours. I might need to write some monster AU one shots now please fucking shoot me

[bugdogg]

dogmatsu stuff again except its not as clean and theres a lot of writing.

[malaierba]

I can't believe Jyushimatsu picked Choromatsu as the brother he respects the most. This must be an act, a façade on his side, to throw everyone off his trail with fake news.

[totokoismyfav]

hi i have a request for headcanons :] how would the sextuplets react to an s/o who is objectively a functional member of society (job and/or school, booming social life, well liked, etc) but for some reason simps really hard for them. it can by goofy or not, depends on what you think!

osomatsu san/reader | reader who is a functional member of society who is head over heels for the brothers

A functional member of society in love with a NEET? Oh, what a thought! All of them equally are just as infatuated with you, maybe even more so as you are just shining with confidence and wit. So imagine their surprise when you finally ask them to be your boyfriend! They all react differently so let’s see up close and personal.

Osomatsu: - How are you with him, seriously? Everyone wants to know. - A shitty NEET with such bad habits like gambling and drinking and you looked in his direction? He’s just as shocked as everyone else to be honest. - Although, he’s not complaining one bit.  - Proudly parades you around in front of his brothers, like damn he might as well have won the lottery. - Oh, they are so jealous by the way. - At first, he doesn’t really change besides that but a little bit into your relationship, he starts making small changes and working up to the big ones.  - At first, it’s picking up after himself and doing more chores around the house, then it’s actually looking for jobs and talking about moving out one day. - Soon enough, he ends up doing just that and moves in with you, even holding a job and stops complaining about it all the time. - He’s trying, for you, and that is a lot coming from him. 

Karamatsu:  - Oh, be prepared anon.  - This man will make it known that he is just as much in love with you back.  - Things like surprise flowers and gifts show up at your work’s front desk, only the best for his Karamatrsu darling! - “Oh my darling flower, it makes my heart palpitate just to know how much you adore me!”  - Of course, you are eating up every cheesy line and equally spoiling him despite his surprise when you do so, despite still living with his mother he’s not used to being spoiled like this. - Like you swear you saw tears when you gave him a gift on your first date, and it was something so simple too. A guitar pick with yours and his initials on it. He swears to use it all the time, and he does, especially when he serenades to you. He even started to freak out when the image on it started to fade.  - At first, he refuses to let you pay for things even though you have a job and he doesn’t. After a few high-priced dates, he finally lets you help with the costs and even slightly enjoys being spoiled by you. - To still help out and spoil you, he even starts working at a nearby clothing store. - Your love is so annoying to everyone around you but the both of you don’t care, not one bit. 

Choromatsu: - To his non-existent calculations, you two should NOT be a thing, but he doesn’t care at this point. - He’s also kinda jealous of you? Like you’re everything he wants to be but he quickly gets over that once you ask him out.  - At the beginning of your relationship, he is constantly stuttering and sweating from his nerves but he’s over the moon about finally dating you, he always has his signature smile on his face.  - When you start holding hands, you can physically feel his whole body shake just from your palm against his.  - Of course, you are no better as you are in LOVE with this man. - You’re both a couple who are head over heels for one another and very much show it instead of saying it. - It took you guys weeks just to say ‘I love you’ which ended in you running away with your hands covering your face and Choromastu shouting to the night sky of how he was in love.  - He also starts to become a functional member of society (with your help and motivation). - Soon enough, he’s living with you and has a job of his own, and surprisingly to him he couldn’t be happier getting out of the NEET lifestyle he was in for so long. 

Ichimatsu:  - He can barely believe it himself, how could someone like you be in love with him? - You were a knockout, a functional member of society and he was just a shitty NEET, a nobody who no one wants. You must be fucking around with him.   - And he really thinks that at first, it takes a bit of persuasion for him to believe you are actually infatuated with him.  - On your first date, he would sit tables away from you as you drank a milkshake. His face turned bright red as he tried to sip from four tables away with a long straw. - You would simply smile at him, telling him it’s ok to get closer and that you were truly interested in dating him. - Soon enough, you two were doing regular couple stuff like holding hands and regularly going on dates.  - As you both get further into the relationship you notice he starts to really change things, Ichimatsu even gets a job at a local cat cafe. - Soon enough, he’s living with you and holding down a job he actually enjoys (although interacting with people still irks him).  - Although, when you first asked him to spend the night at your house, he spontaneously combusted right on the bench. 

Jyushimatsu:  - Oh ho ho! This man is ecstatic! - His brothers swear that he’s been faster with his batting swing when you both start dating. - It’s like he has a new form of motivation when practicing baseball, running faster, swinging harder and throwing farther all at the same time. - He also seems happier than usual (somehow) , his smile widening whenever he sees you and your wonderful face.  - Will point you out to his brothers whenever he sees you, like he’s bragging or something. “Ha ha look, it’s my partner! Do you see them, huh? Huh?”  - He also starts working as well, hoping to start working as a baseball player in the future. - With your help, he eventually works up to that point and starts playing in local leagues!

Todomatsu:  - Oh he’s the most smug out of all of them. - Of course, he has no idea why you looked in his direction but he’s so glad you did.  - When you told him you were in love with him, he dropped his coffee you two had gotten minutes prior. Of course, he spilled it all over you and profusely apologized about it while helping to clean you up. - Luckily, it was iced so it didn’t burn or anything so you simply just smiled and told him he was fine and it was ok.  - Totally rubs it in his brother's faces, just like Oso and Jyushi but he’s more of a bitch about it.  - “Oh would you look at that, I have a partner now who’s actually interested in me. Score one for the youngest!” - He actually got a scoreboard for it too, the bastard. - He eventually goes back to Sutabaa, working the same position he did before. - He’s officially out of NEET status when he moves in with you and he’s so happy about it as he went up a level as a human once more!

[tismtron]

I could ask for headcanons of the sixtuplets (osomatsu san) (separately), what their "make up" sex is like, and what the discussion they had was.

(sorry for My Bad English omgg)

“I’ll do anything to make it up to you!” … “Anything?”

Had fun with this one! Reader is g/n with afab anatomy warning for smeuuut

Osomatsu- took money from your wallet to bet on horses. You knew he stole from his brothers, but you’d never think he would ever steal from you.

——

You weee splayed out on the couch. Osomatsu’s head between your thighs as you count all the money he won from betting on horses with your money. His tongues lapped at your folds desperately as he gripped your thighs as a vice. He won back thrice the amount you originally had, but to teach him a lesson you make him watch as you pocket all the money in your pocket. He finds you clit and nurses on it like a thirsty man in the desert.

Karamatsu- serenading you in public. You thought the intention was good, but he knows how you were with being in the middle of the public eye. And him singing in a restaurant full of people anyway was not the best way of expressing his feelings for you.

——

Kara sat you on the kitchen counter with one leg over his shoulder as he fingers you slowly. His face buried in the crook of your neck as he sang apologies. His leather jacket over your shoulders and your arms perched over the back of his neck. He started hitting deeper and curling his fingers up to hit your core deliciously. He thumbed your clit to send you

Choromatsu-snapped at you like you were one of his brothers. You two were at your place and you got very comfortable with each other in your relationship. Maybe too comfortable.

——

You sat on his face while flicking through the shows on the tv. Choro tounge fucks you fast and wet. He tries to slide his hands to grope your ass before you swatted his fingers away. “No touching, this is a punishment.” You saw sternly as you shot a glare down his direction. “Yes ma’am.” His hot breath sent a shiver down your spine as he lapped up your cunt.

Ichimatsu- infestation. Cats were all over your apartment. And you don’t hate cats, but they were just everywhere. On the balcony, in the bathroom, even in the closets.

——

After he shooed out the cats from your house, he said he was sorry and that he would keep them outside. He nuzzled his face in your neck as you tried to stay mad until he bit at that certain spot he knows sends heat to your core. Sucking on your neck with his sharp teeth and licking and lapping the bite mark he left. His hot breath and low panting in the shell of your ear sent shivers up your spine. “You forgive me?” he asked. His voice gravelly as he makes eye contact with you as he laid on your chest. “Maybe..if you’ll be a good kitty.” Feeling his cock ache from where he sat on you made you excited to hear his apology.

Jyushimatsu-tract mud in the house. He was always outside doing something, which you admire, but today was a rainy day. Mud tracts from the front door all the way to your bedroom.

—

After he had thoroughly mopped your floors clean he quickly came to try to make you feel better. You agitatedly scrubbed the dishes while as he came behind you to hug you at your waist from behind. You stop and look over your shoulder to give him the cold shoulder to see him not smiling, but giving you this look you’ve never seen from him. Suddenly he picked you up and carried you on his shoulder. “Jyushi put me down!” Your yells fell on deaf ears as he carried you out the kitchen and into the bedroom. Safely dropping you on the bed and you look up at him.”What’s gotten into you?!” His smile still gone but eyes were Ernest as he crawled atop of you and reached for your hand to kiss your inner palm. “Let me make it up to you, My home run.” Your face flushed and eyes wide not expecting that from him, but not complaining either.

Todomatsu-ignoring you on a date. You’ve been left on heard by your mother but apparently your boyfriend had more sass than you thought.

—

His cock ached as you gushed and tightened around him. Cock warming him as you scrolled on your phone and ignored his please. His whimpers and groan were so loud you couldn’t even hear your phone. “Pleasee babe it wasn’t on purpose I swear!” He shuddered as he whimpered at the nape of your neck. “Oh what was that? Must have been the wind.” He groans at your mean demeanor as he begged you to move. His hands snaking around to ghost over your navel. You lift up suddenly catching him off guard as he loudly moans embarrassed at how he sounded so desperate, before you sat back down to reposition yourself. He winced thinking how it’s going to be a long night.

[cyberglitch2]

Here's the cybermatsu post.

Just going to talk a bit about how I see what's going on between them.

I'll start by noting that Choromatsu doesn't have a very good opinion of the brothers. He genuinely thinks he's better than everyone else, and based on the series, Osomatsu and Jyushimatsu irritate him, he has a neutral-negative attitude towards Karamatsu, and with Ichimatsu it's like they're not related. He probably has a claim against Todomatsu as well, but it feels like he has a more loyal attitude towards him.

I think it started from adolescence (or maybe even childhood, I just poser haven't watched Osomatsu-kun). The period where Totty is dependent on his brothers, and Choro cares for him more than the others. I think we can distinguish 2 main reasons why:

1. He considers himself the most responsible and proper brother, and since the two older ones don't have the time to coddle Todomatsu, for various reasons, the role of babysitter is taken over by the third.

I think Osomatsu is too carefree most of the time. And Karamatsu is too focused on himself and his growth as a person until graduation, he still loves his brothers but misses some things.

2. He likes to take care of Totty. By "babysitter" I don't mean that literally, but he really lets Todomatsu do too much, not realizing that it makes them both look like freaks. Speaking of reason... Choro has an obvious type for cute girls, which by the time he's 18 has probably already started to form, but that love probably extends to everything else as well. Simply put, he likes cute things. (He could be a brony, come to think of it). Todomatsu can be called cute, to a certain extent. Even if he's more of a cringe, it's obvious why he chose the strategy of making himself look like a kid. And Choro is the one it works on.

Now comes the fun part.

Brothers grow up. Totty no longer needs overprotaction (well, almost), he has made conclusions from his experience and changed for the better (for himself). Choromatsu has essentially stayed the same. Now the younger one has realized that his brother is a jerk and a blabbermouth. Todo pisses off all the brothers from time to time, but Choromatsu especially throws wood on the fire. Meanwhile, Choromatsu still sympathizes with the younger one more than the others. First, for old memories, and second, they both often act as "voices of reason". Choro dislikes his "dumb" brothers, considering himself a genius himself.

[inkyycapp]

Pinefield-Matsu x Demon!Reader

(got lazy a bit in, forgive any errors I'll edit when my brain isn't mush.)

Deep in the library, a book of the dark arts lay dormant, untouched by many who passed it by.

Now, in the hands of a new holder, there was no telling why or how they found such a book as no system had it on file. Strange old, dusty book.

Far beyond the tree line, he flipped through the pages, skimming each page for what it had to offer. After what seemed like ages, his hand stopped at an interesting page. While the book and its contents were tattered and old, this one singular page looked preserved--torn through time itself.

Placing candles carefully around the circle of old bones, tossing salt and who knows what else into the small circle. Chanting in the incantation and then... ... Then...? Nothing happened. Checking the page, before looking at the circle. Once, somehow, a small fire was lit, to their surprise, it grew into a large fire pooling from the summoning circle, concealed safely inside.

Once the fire died down, a figure remained, glowing eyes staring back at them.

Osomatsu !!

Orson - Slacker !!

-After the summoning didn't work, he sighed to himself, lighting up a cigarette. Shaking off most of the fire from the match, he tossed it off to the side and it so happened to land inside the circle.

-He didn't expect it to work. Not at all. But, in a drunken state, who cared if it worked or not. Worst case scenario the forest would burn down... Right?

-WRONG. Because, once the fire died down, here you stood, your eyes staring back at him.

-Orson didn't really think it'd work to begin with, but it seemed his fate had other plans for him.

-Does freak out, but once he's more calm, he's asking all sorts of questions about you and what kind of devil you are, if you catch my drift.

-Orson isn't really the...ambitious type. Figuring out how to aid him was going to be difficult.

-So, after a long moment of silence, he offers you a beer.

-You both end up talking about you, about him, about whatever it was that seemed to pop up in your heads in the moment.

-In the end, you are stuck with him. But, maybe he isn't that bad.

Karamatsu !!

Karla - Geek

-Karla was forced into doing the ritual by some people who wanted to 'hang out' and 'become friends'. Karla was skeptical, but it'd would be so rude not to accept the offer! He just had to!

-This poor idiot. (Affectionately)

-Whether you were summoned or not, he was absolutely terrified. Though, when you didn't appear, he was almost a bit...disappointed.

-One of the tormentors shoved him forward, and nearly caught himself on fire, of course he didn't but the circle sure did!

-The others ran off leaving only Karla behind, stunned by the beauty of the growing fire--his eyes are glued to the figure standing amongst the smoke.

-Probably too scared to scream, and unsure if he should be impressed, he managed to will such a being to be in his presence or absolutely terrified of you.

-He's very cautious, and more wary than most on this list. Regardless, he's enamored by you and tries and fails to play it cool.

-At least he's cute!

-Regardless of your gender or appearance or anything like that, he thinks you're beautiful.

-He stays out in the woods with you for a while until he finally realizes he doesn't know how to send you back.

-Karla apologizes profusely.

Choromatsu ...

Charlie - Nerd

(i dont like him im sorry..)

-Charlie didn't think it was going to work in the slightest. In fact, he was doing it specifically to prove a point to one of his brothers that there was no such thing as witchcraft and that they were just being idiotic or something.

-So, when it didn't work, a smug grin splayed on his lips, though he couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment deep down as he adjusted his glasses.

-Comically, his glasses accidentally lit the center on fire. He was stuck watching and panicking as the fire erupted before fading into grey smoke leaving a silhouette in its wake.

-On one hand, he's frozen in a state of fear and on the other hand, he's pissed that the summoning ritual actually worked.

-He thinks you're cute, regardless of gender/appearance. How could he be mad at you? Clearly it wasn't your or his fault!! Had to be something else to blame..

-Oh, right. It's the book's fault. It should've at least put a warning or something--anything to prevent scary demons being summoned. Just, not you though.

-At the end of the day, you can't go home, and neither can he. Charlie can't imagine what his brothers might say if they knew he actually did it..

Ichimatsu !!

Itchy - Goth

-Itchy found that book, and decided to crack it open to scare a prep that found their way wandering into the words.

-He was convinced this book was made by some witchcraft guru and that it wouldn't actually work. So, he wasn't let down when the initial ritual failed.

-Though, to drive the scare home, he tossed a small firecracker into the circle, and watched as the flames only got brighter before they died and only you remained.

-He is absolutely stunned. Staring, it takes him a moment to react. To which, he definitely loses his shit like most of everyone on this list.

-He didn't think to get this far or that it would even work. Itchy is unsure whether to apologize, panic, or bathe in the ego boost.

-Kinda just stands there and stares, unsure what to do or say. Itchy does eventually get more talkative, he just needs a minute.

-Well, at least he did manage to scare that prep in the end.

-Like Orson, he doesn't really have any ambition. It might be difficult to aid him more than most on this list, but who doesn't like a challenge.

-Trick question, but you have zero choice!

Jyushimatsu !!

Juicy - Freak

-How he got this book into his hands was unknown. He did show it off to Itchy looking for his opinion.

-Itchy didn't really think it was real, so Juicy thought it'd be fun to try out all sorts of cool things he saw.

-After maybe the third or fifth spell or something, trying and failing until his eyes caught onto the summoning page.

-Unlike his brothers, he wasn't discouraged, and kept tossing things in, changing things around before he eventually lights some book (hopefully not the spell book) on fire, and tossed it in when you finally appeared.

-He's ecstatic you finally made your arrival, and honestly is just happy it worked.

-Once you explain what you are and your lifelong purpose, it goes one ear and out the other. The first thing he asks after is how good your baseball pitch is.

-Well, at least he knows what he wants, unlike everyone else on this list.

Todomatsu !!

Todd - Messenger

-Poor Todd, similar to Karla was peer pressured or rather forced into doing the summoning ritual.

-When nothing happened, he was relived, though one of the tormentors wasn't happy with this and decided to try and light the book on fire.

-Surprise surprise, it didn't go well. Once the smallest hint of the match go close to the circle, flames erupted from the center. Eerier noises and screams before everything fell somewhat silent aside the scampering of the gaggle of guys who had left Todd behind.

-He is absolutely stunned. Unsure if it was the fact that it work or that you seemed to take him as your summoner. It was the other boys, really it was. But, apparently to you, that's not how it worked.

-You are now here to help him. A boost to his shiny ego.

-He wants revenge, not a moment too soon. A short-sighted way to see things as you are stuck with him.

-No, he doesn't want you to murder them. That would bring too much attention. What he wants is to destory their careers. Make sure they're outcasted and ruined beyond help! They might have to move towns..

-You'll help him right? Well, you kinda have to.

(Tbh I just wanted an excuse to show off these goobers more..)

[ohthethingswedoforlove]

Is there any possibility that the Matsus would be willing to share the s/o with each other?

Warnings: yandere characters; violence;

  Hmm, maybe! But I feel like there needs to be some sort of incident where they all nearly lose their chance with you or have a sudden realisation that they could benefit from each other.

  It's kinda integrated into their dynamic, they don't let each other have nice things, especially if it's something that they all simultaneously want. They might have their moments of generosity or understanding for one another, sure, but those tend to not last very long.

  They're all very selfish. There's no getting around that.

  That being said, I can see them reaching a point of having a bit of a truce. Ichimatsu and Jyushi specifically seem like the ones who'll most likely do it out of good will. Jyushimatsu might just be the only brother who makes Ichi hesitate before he goes straight for violence.

  Hilariously, Choro and Osomatsu tend to gravitate towards working together. Mostly because Osomatsu thinks it's funny. And that he can use Choro to his advantage. Choromatsu thinks the exact same way. About using Oso I mean, not the thinking it's funny part. He doesn't have much of a sense of humor regarding this whole thing. Or many other things.

  Karamatsu... Well, as per usual he kinda just has to work with whatever hand he's dealt. But that doesn't mean he can't work with the others! It's just that he might end up on the receiving end of the most unpleasant tasks. Or a knife on the back. But hey, in his defence, they're all equally willing to backstab each other.

  And Todomatsu will literally work with any of them if he sees it suits his needs and he can get something out of it. He'll play up the others if necessary, even if he's internally cringing the entire time.

  Though "working together" usually translates into them doing their best to completely monopolise your time and attention. And also terrorise and beat the hell out of anyone who they consider a threat. It definitely wouldn't be the first time they made a group activity out of tormenting someone!

  They might even get generous enough to let each other spend some time alone with you. While the rest is creeping from the next room, obviously. Can't never be too safe, they never know when it might be necessary to loudly and obnoxiously entrevine, after all! Somehow, despite the absolute shitshow this has devolved into, they're still delusional (or stupid) enough to hope one of them will come out on top and you'll willingly choose them.

  Do you even get a say in this? Well, I think you can guess the answer to that, and if you somehow still can't, the way they all turn around from the little circle they formed to scheme amongst themselves just to look you in the eyes and all simultaneously say "No." in the most unceremonious way possible will give you your answer.

[hdhdgsgs]

Hi Hi! Idk how I ended up here lol (maybe through Bard’s page?? idk) anyway! I see that you’re writing for Osomatsu San right now! Would I be able to request your headcanons on every matsu comforting their crying significant other? Pleeeeease? lol I love the comfy stuff

First post back from writers block/burn out, I know some aren’t as long as others and I’m sorry it’s not consistent but I love the idea!

Osomatsu

For a little bit after you start crying he’s stunned, he’s not sure what to do. He’s comforted his brothers before but they’re his brothers, you’re a whole different person that he hasn’t learnt his whole life to comfort.

He’ll pay your back first then offer an awkward hug that turns into cuddling and crying into him with him rubbing the back of your hair and saying how you’ll be ok, kissing your head every now and then.

If you don’t want to be physically touched he’ll just tell you it’ll be okay and that he’ll listen if you need to talk, just constant sweet talking and he’ll throw in a little flirting or joking around if he feels like it’ll make you feel better.

He’ll even offer his beer or to eat instant ramen with him, he might even ‘force’ (ask) his mother to make him and you something, to which she would say yes and comfort you as much as she could and as she’s raised 6 kids at the same time, she’s pretty good at it.

He’ll offer you sex, half-joking, but if you take him up on his offer he’d be delighted to help, whether that means fast and rough or slow and sweet. He’d totally even be willing to get none of the pleasure himself because he wants to make you feel good (and he’s a pervert), you deserve it after all.

Karamatsu

He’s read up on this a LOT before so he can understand and comfort his future partner. He loves you and asks before every little thing he does, if you want ANYTHING he’ll run all over Tokyo as fast as he can to get it for you. If his brothers are around he’ll either boss them into doing things for you or he’ll threaten them to stay as far away as possible so you can be in piece.

Affection needed? He’s ready, he’ll do anything to make you happy, even if it’s (not shaming anyone) kissing your feet. He’s ready, cuddles are elite and he’s petting you everywhere he knows you like, kisses galore and touching places he knows makes you giddy. At one point he thinks about tickling you to see you laugh but he decides against it after thinking for a minute.

For gifts and acts of service, he’ll go ALL over Tokyo, fuck, even Japan if he has to, all to make you happy. If he can’t afford he WILL beg, steal and take what he needs to. He will empty everyone he knows bank account, or maybe just hatabou’s cuz he’s rich.

You want words of affirmation? He’s got it, words sweeter than ever before come out of his mouth, comforting and reassuring you until his vocal cords stop working and still then he’ll write it all down. He won’t joke around until he knows you feel good enough, so he will test the waters, every now and then with little jokes before unleashing his attack of humour to make you laugh.

Quality time, no problemo. He’s sitting and laying and standing around, just being with you, if you don’t want to talk he won’t, he’ll give you tissues, water, a plush, ice cream and just sit with you. He isn’t used to not talking for so long but he will anything for his karamatsu angel.

Choromatsu

Worst one of all of them, but he’s trying his best. He will pat your back and say “it’s not that serious, you’ll be okay.” Please get mad at him… he isn’t hurt by it for the most part, he’s used to a lot worse by his brothers.

Eventually he’ll learn and get better but at the start he’s grossly bad for someone who reads romance manga on the daily. He might try things he sees there, affection and tissues/water but after a while he’ll honestly just sit next to you and stare into space. He’s perplexed.

If you ask him about getting something or doing something for you, he will be a dork and salute, immediately getting up to help. He might put on some idol shows on tv or try and distract you by putting together a figurine with you. Choromatsu would offer a beer or sake to cheer you up, since it always makes him feel better (even though that’s unhealthy). Some more of his ideas include forcing Totty to search up ways to help, making his brothers embarrass themselves to make you laugh or running around doing things for you (which they will do in the hope you might like them too because you were able to fall for Choromatsu, but they won’t make it that obvious). Cuddles are a thing choromatsu has always been hesitant about, meaning he has to be insanely vulnerable, but he’ll throw away all vain the second he sees you upset.

Ichimatsu

Panics but keeps it on the inside so you wont stress more. He decides to treat you the same way he treats cats, only knowing how to cheer them up. So he’ll buy you food or get it from his cupboards and pet your head. He’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear while giving your head a massage (which he’s surprisingly good at) making sure to focus behind your ears and the top of your head. Ichimatsu loves getting kisses but he’s not too confident on giving them so he won’t kiss your lips for his own comfort but he will kiss everywhere else, up your arms, your neck, your face, your head, everywhere else however if you ask him directly he will buck up and give you a small kiss on the lips, followed by more as he gets more confident. Orders his brothers around if you need something since he’s giving you affection at the moment.

Sends out a cat signal(idk) and gets all the little fluffy bois in the area to come and cuddle up! (As a chubby girl myself) He WILL put you on his lap for cuddles, he doesn’t care about weight at all whether you’re underweight, average or overweight. He wants to hold his kitten no matter what. If you end up eating something he’ll physically feed you like a baby, feeling very protective.

Jyushimatsu

Cat eyes, thinking face. Stays like that for a few second then runs around grabbing everything he can think of. Blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, water, tissues, a baseball, snacks and one of his hoodies. He brings it all and offers them, setting up a calm little area and wiping your tears with his sleeves, finding it more intimate than tissues.

Jyushimatsu sings a little song while laying you back on his chest and rubbing your back. He’s very used to comforting Ichimatsu so if you don’t want to be held he’ll know exactly how to help, he might even ask ichimatsu to help him get a cuddly cat for you. Wiggles his arms and and does the water trick too, but if you don’t respond he’ll stop immediately. Sits next to you and writes a love letter, detailed with all his feelings for you, he puts it in an envelope, seals it and hands it to you like you couldn’t see the whole thing being made, he’s VERY bashful about it too. Jyushi will also make you drink water to rehydrate and whisper meow over and over again in a sing song voice because he knows it helps Ichimatsu so surely it’ll help you right? Just need a distraction? He’ll talk about baseball for hours, the history, his favourite players, the rules and how to play it.

Todomatsu

Best equipped to handle it, doesn’t go about it well. Todomatsu doesn’t, in fact, use his phone. He feels it would be gross to use his phone when his partner needs comfort, and he panics wanting them to know he loves them more than life itself but not knowing how. He pulls you into a tight hug, telling you it’s going to be okay and that he loves you. Todomatsu will run his hand up and down your back while the other one is in your hair massaging the back of your head. He will push away his feelings of discomfort for a second to grab his phone, putting on soft music to help you relax, including a playlist he made especially for when he got a partner and he needed to comfort them. If Totty even sees a glimpse of a brother in the corner of his eye, they will be gone as soon as possible to make you feel safer and calmer. He hums along while he tries to make you fall asleep in his arms, I’m all honesty Todomatsu will do ANYTHING for his partner, he won’t let you go a single day feeling sad or bad because he truly adores you more than anything in the whole universe.

[girlymatsu]

have u ever thought of osoeri on a roadtrip! i wonder where they would go? maybe erina wants to go to harajuku and see everyones cool styles and geek out about agejo with other girlies or smth and oso sees her smiling so big and happy to be complimented and acknowledged... its like hes stsring at the sunrise her loves to see her light up and be in her element!

OHHH yess I really do love vacation scenarios… they go around Japan on the trains to shop and sightsee just like the mt takao episode!!

They take the trains to go around the cities of Japan, I can imagine they would do a more traditional driving road trip if in a rural area or out of the country 👀 I would love to think about a whole trip in depth…

Erina has a bad sense of direction and they both wouldn’t plan an itinerary at first and they would scramble around lol but if they don’t get seperated Osomatsu calming detectives erina to not be stressed.. they would mostly shop around the cities because it makes erina happy, and then go sightseeing like seeing the deer at Nara park etc

They would have fun just going out and exploring.. but next time they might bring the family/friends along so choromatsu can tell them where to go lol as annoying as it is.. family vacation <3

[stxrmxtsu]

The Matsu brothers with a thicc mildly chubby S/O

thanks for the ask anon! as a mildly chubby, ‘thicc’ person myself, this was very nice to do

tag(s): mild nsfw, matsus bein pervy virgins, slight yandere tendencies on choro’s and ichi’s part, chubby!s/o (obviously)

to be fair (and as to not repeat myself), ALL of them would fucking love your chub. even more so, they would love you regardless of what you even look like. buuuuttt, if we’re getting into specifics, let’s see how they would ‘react’..

osomatsu

i think osomatsu would be the one who would prefer having a thicc n chubby s/o more, i just think that’s something he would like in a man/woman, especially your thighs, oh my god those fucking thighs. he could lay on those things all damn day if you let him/if he could. sometimes he likes to pinch your tummy or legs, not to make fun of you but, because 1. he can and 2. because he fucking adores you so much that he HAS to have a hand on you at ALL times. i think his favorite outfit of yours will always be the ones where you decide to wear thigh highs and those cute clothes that involve skirts or shorts. speaking of shorts, fucking man LOVES your ass. the plushiness of your booty and your thighs make this man absolutely feral and oh my god are those literal hearts in his eyes..? how..? you know what, you weren’t gonna question it..

karamatsu

i strongly believe kara doesn’t care what his partner looks like, like at all. if you’re skinny, you’re skinny. if you’re chubby, you’re chubby. looks really don’t matter at all to kara! i mean as long as you’re nice to him he’ll be all over you and smother you with his affections. he’s also the type of person to have his hand on you at all times but it’s more on your waist or the small of your back. i think the only time he’ll acknowledge your body is when you’re dressing up and you’re like “how does this look?” and he’s all like “aaahhh!~ you look as beautiful as ever!~” or somethin cheesy like that, you know how karamatsu is! 

choromatsu

(im gonna be self indulgent a little but i think its lowkey canon) 

so you know how in the show, choromatsu seems to like the ‘cutesy’ and maybe the traditional japanese girls (you know the ones), yeah, i honestly 100% believe that he’s putting up a front because 1. his brothers and 2. to hide and swallow the fact that he’s into partners like me and you. now, that’s not to say he’s embarrassed to admit it or he would be ashamed to be around you, its more so on the fact that he’s afraid that he won’t be able to control himself around you because of how absolutely gorgeous you are to him. when he first met you, he immediately thought you were so fucking beautiful, you were perfection at its finest, but since its his life and how shitty it is, he thought you were gonna reject him and then maybe spit on him, be upset at him, the usual when he got close to girls. but… you were so nice. you welcomed his virgin ass into your life and you were so….you were so…PERFECT! he was ECSTATIC when you accepted his confession and ever since then, he’s worshiped the ground you walked on and he just can’t get enough of you. your squishy cheeks, your tummy, your legs (oh god your LEGS), your chest, everything. 

he also kept you a secret for so long because he didn’t want the world to see his perfect little gem and he didn’t think the world deserved to see your beauty. he likes to keep you to himself and that’s that. 

ichimatsu

ichimatsu is another one that doesn’t really give a fuck how you look, i think as long as you accept him and his cats, he’s good. and also as long as you can handle him, he’s good. simultaneously, i think he also worships the ground you walk on and would be so afraid to lose control of himself when it comes to you. i think his favorite things about you are your love handles and the pouch of fat on the side of your boobs when you wear sports bras and tank tops (you know what im talking about baby). his inner demons are always fighting for THEIR LIFE when you wear certain clothes that outline every curve of your body, they’re always clawing at him and telling him to just grab you and keep you to himself, but he holds back. but once you tell him to go all out on you, be prepared [name]

jyushimatsu 

biggest hype man fr. he’d be all over you, i mean its jyushimatsu, he’s such a good person. the only thing that’s a ‘downside’, is that he’s horny easily but you know what, you love that too about him. i think he’s the kind of person that squishes your every body part because you’re just so fucking cute to him that he NEEDS to squish you constantly. another one who needs to have his hands on you at all times 

todomatsu

cmon, you wanna look me in the eye and tell me he ISN’T gonna fucking drool over pictures of you every chance he gets? 

that boy may seem like he wouldn't but totty doesn't fucking care who you are or what you look like. as long as he knows you're there for love and him, he's fine.

todomatsu would adore putting you in cute outfits. he may not have the best fashion taste, but he knows what'll outline your every curve and that boy will soak it up like a sponge.

don't even get him started on your legs and thighs.

and belly.

because FUCK [name]....what are you doing to me...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and that's thaaaattt! i kinda got through my inbox, thank you to everyone who were patient with me.

love,

jarvis <3

[brofightiscancelled]

trying to figure out the boys' schedules from "sakura".....

first grey line is when oso and ichi talk and no one else is home, second one is the morning where oso calls a meeting. the dub says "6am" in that scene, which im taking w a grain of salt but it does seem to be early in the morning at so i'll roll with it

oso seems to be on lunch shift since he works in broad daylight and is off work by sunset. i'll assume he works most days?

karamatsu seems to still be unemployed based on the hesokuri wars description of the "independence (s2)" set, but probably mostly hanging out with his new friends at night

choromatsu seems to also be unemployed but actively looking for jobs, going to employment agencies and whatnot during the day. he's shown at home in the evenings both in this set and in the bathhouse scene with oso

ichimatsu is working at chibita's stand. since it's described as "part time" in the hesokuri wars set, and because i think chibita would only be hiring extra help on his busiest nights, im gonna assume he works long night shifts on the weekends that he has to sleep during the day for (to me it looks like he's eating dinner in the morning meeting, compared to totty's breakfast toast)

jyushimatsu is working some unhelpfully vague part-time job that he leaves for early in the morning and gets home from late in the evening so exhausted that he passes out in his clothes. he says he ate with his coworkers so there's some amount of after-work schmoozing. i think the implication is that he works with kids in some capacity, so i'll assume he's doing some kind of part-time coaching job at a school? long tiring hours but only on certain weekdays

todomatsu is explicitly stated to have gotten a normal full-time job, and schmoozes after work with his coworkers for long hours

so maybe a weekly schedule like this? (being generous and assuming choro/kara have job interviews lined up. and that kara would put planned friend outings out on his calendar)

[osomatsuconfessions]

vaping and general smoking thoughts long long long

osomatsu: sticks with just cigarettes mostly, antiquated frame of reference where old and comfortable is the best with little change allowed. matsuzou smokes so i think oso just followed by example and liked the relaxed feeling and repetition aspect. he would maybe try a vape under the idea that a buzz is a buzz and a buzz feels good but would find the synthetic taste and experience to be offputting. has many complaints that comically go against audience expectation: 'whats the point! it doesnt even smell bad! it doesnt even make YOU smell bad! it doesnt even make my lungs burn!' etc etc

karamatsu: impossibly weak nicotine tolerance, smoked one cigarette and got extremely sick and took it as an omen. wouldnt vape because sucking on a little rectangle doesnt line up with his idea of coolness. holds cigarettes and cigars in his mouth to get the image of being intimidating and tough without ever lighting them.

choromatsu: WOULD be interested in vaping out of the fear of what smoking is actively doing to his body and what it says about his restraint and responsibility over himself by putting his lungs in danger, plus (kiddish and so, hard to admit) the flavors sound appealing. would sneak hits of tottys vape really obviously in the middle of the house any time hes not around and would over time want to start branching out with different pods, making his own rankings in his head. choro does not see this as lame but instead something akin to taking up wine tasting as a hobby (same level of prestige in his mind but less cost so its even better. hes even better). writes whole entries in a journal bought specifically for this purpose about the notes and undertones and things. to him this is for explorational AND educational purposes. this is the hobby of a discerning mind. this is not him being addicted to drugs. this is not JUST some guy vaping a ton for the sake of vaping its DIFFERENT. the other matsus find the journal and mock choro and his analysis of unicorn 50w by reciting passages back to his while she goes catatonic and silently switches back to cigarettes. never gets any buzz ever again from the insane tolerance build up but will never share this fact or think deeper about what it says about his habits

ichimatsu: explicitly doesnt smoke nor would vape. shit in his lungs is shit in his lungs it all sucks

jyushimatsu: intermittent cigarette smoker just whenever the chance presents itself. in line with him sharing the coffee milk with osomatsu where its probably more about the taste and getting to chug it and spin around than the effects of caffeine, its a vessel for comedy and appearances (for reference humor to specific archetypes or doing physically impossible tricks) and stuff more than an actual enjoyment of nicotine. he probably finishes other peoples but doesnt start his own. also thinking of jyushimatsus fixation with chewing and teething on shit like cybers heads or the lollipops theres no way hes not chomping the shit out of the filters. i think vapes initially would kind of confuse him same as all the others, but hed be reeled in by the idea of super sweet flavors and the comedic potential of making giant clouds. hed be like a fog machine. teeth marks on the vape too nothings safe if its going in there

todomatsu: would vape, specifically orange or strawberry pods. totty also doesnt really get it but it SEEMS like its hip cause there was a lot of buzz about it a couple years ago and he is forever multiple seasons late to any kind of trend so hes more than willing. hitting it around other people makes him feel like his fingers on the pulse of modern culture and not a guy who spends his time gambling and fishing like an old man. confidence booster plus he thinks it makes you smell better to women, especially compared to tobacco smoke, which is another plus (and cuts down on buying gas station perfume 2 in 1 bargain). when not accompanied by people totty means to impress (the other matsus) he would smoke cigarettes. he (like the rest) is a fiend of habit and behaviors set by osomatsu especially are ingrained so its pretty inevitable that he followed along in earlier adult years and then got hooked. but by s3 hed give it up more (riceballs using their electronic vape things further pushing the idea that this is futuristic and impressive and something that they should get with the times on, which totty would feel self conscious about not understanding/already doing + additionally having already made his extreme departure from following osomatsus actions beat for beat as he otherwise was predisposed to in s1) but would have an itch for it that hed mostly only scratch when drunk or making excuses. to compensate for his late switchover and to further distinguish himself as The Sextuplet In The Know Of Things hed rub in their faces how bad tobacco is for your lungs and how hes gonna live way longer and chide them about how they prioritize getting a hit in over living a long time like 'good luck having sex when youre DEAD with TAR LUNGS idiots!!!' when asked how vapes are at all better for your lungs he goes silent and looks away

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