#maybe ill try to sleep again

[carcarrot]

mid-flight update:

don't actually know if its mid-flight bc im trying halfway successfully to fool myself into thinking this flight is only 3 hours to eliminate jetlag

gave up on looking out the window the whole time (but there were some amazing clouds)

made most of lil beethoven: live in stockholm my in-flight movie

[helios-kirbs]

jayce and jinx as ballister and nimona cause someone on twitter made the comparison and i liked it a lot !!! :v

[idunnowhattowriteheretbh]

Soooooooooo I finished the weapons :D

I don't have much ideas for what to write in here so imma just drop the designs and continue suffering in school skkskskksk

First we gooooot

Bear Axe 2

@beartitled (apologies for the puns I couldn't help myself)

Then we have the comically large hammer

Le Bonker 1000

@insomniphic I'm kinda curious to see how would you lift ot ngl

And then we have the last weapon for Captain! :D

Captain's Staff

@braisedhoney

The staff was the most fun to draw tbh

Also I was this 🤏 close to fully shading the axe and the staff lmao

Anyway time for me to skedadle back into my cave before COL finds me /silly

- CR2868

[crush3dmary]

Seeing as someone is trying to sabotage me by leaving hate comments on other fics using what's clearly a reference to my old moniker, I think it's best I take a break from writing yugioh for a while aside from zine/gift fics.

This fic's author in particular admitted to taking inspiration from my fic and I left a nice comment saying I was okay with that and that I was glad I could inspire them. Then I go to read the next chapter and find this is the comments, clearly trying to frame me by using something "suspiciously" close to my old username/current tumblr header. Why would I want to leave hate on a fic I read 27 chapters of and liked? Why would I leave hate for someone under an alias that's already publicly connected to me? Why would I leave a hate comment at all?

I try to go above and beyond to support other writers, and when I leave someone a compliment I always mean every word. This is how I am repaid, with someone trying to sabotage my image in yet another fandom.

The next chapter of Philosophy is half done. I don't know when it'll be up and I don't know if I'll touch it again for a while. This fic is my baby, I've put so much love and heart into making it what it is, and I hate that stupid bullshit like this is ruining it for me. I don't even want to touch it right now. I don't even want to look at it right now. I just feel sick to my stomach.

Good job anon. You ruined it for everyone.

[skunkes]

[nabaath-areng]

Having to micromanage your entire physical battery day in and day out is so exhausting, especially when your ability fluctuates without rhyme or reason with every single day. I'm starting to have to reframe how I view and tackle my task lists because otherwise the grief and frustration becomes so much that I get nothing done. I'd love to complete the entire list today, but I'm gonna have to limit myself to ticking off two tasks just so I don't burn myself out to the point of being unable to do anything later...

[randomapplekey]

I'm conflicted about if I should push through finishing art comm or sleep

Have 3hrs of sleep or none? 🤔 (I have class tomorrow)

[benetnvsch]

i genuinely have No idea when you sleep ive known you for ages and i still dont have a single clue of your time zone it is so bizarre to me you are basically a cryptid

This is so funny to me help,, I love the idea of being some mysterious cryptid,, always awake,,,

But ,, I’m afraid the boring answer is just I do Not Have a sleep schedule anymore. most of the sleep I get is from little naps I take throughout the day + night so im like,, always awake but somehow also always asleep

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Some mild existential dread in the house today

[mad-hunts]

y'all know that feeling where you forgot a detail about your oc (because barton basically is my oc at this point LOL) and then it comes back at the most freaking random time to haunt you? because that is pretty much what just happened to me and it's uhhh. i wasn't sure whether barton's mental state could get any worse, but it seems i was wrong. trigger warning for self-harm under the cut.

so, i think i have talked about this before concerning barton's sociopathic nature, but if there is one thing that people with ASPD experience: it's this chronic feeling of emptiness within them that makes it hard for them to enjoy a lot of thing's. and this, combined with the fact that they can't easily connect with other people due to the fact that they're lacking in empathy... well, it's particularly relevant to barton because he has literally hurt himself before just to feel something.

but barton just acts like nothing is wrong a majority of the time if you see him with bandages on his arms. because he truly does feel a blend of not knowing how to ask for help, as well as thinking that he doesn't need people pitying him, though wanting to help someone who is mentally unwell is usually done out of concern — but barton just doesn't think that way for whatever reason. like, he does have a different perception / a warped perception of reality compared to other people, though he figures that it'd probably be best if he just dealt with it alone. because if even he doesn't know how to voice how desperate barton feels sometimes to get away from the emptiness, then he believes that no one would understand enough to help him, anyway.

and i think he still does it sometimes because barton is just genuinely so depressed that even when he gets something he thinks he wants about 50 percent of the time, it turns out that no, he actually doesn't want it - and he's constantly seeking out stimulation because barton's sense of boredom is like a beast in the way that it almost never seems to go away. because once he learns about something new, sure... it's cool for a little while, but then this new thing he's learned tarnishes and loses its luster, so-to-speak. so it's no longer appealing for him to do + it makes high-risk / thrill seeking thing's like drinking, gambling, egging people on intentionally (especially if they're dangerous), etc. even not seem satisfying sometimes.

[danielnelsen]

update: peach is doing very well!! she's eating and sleeping normally (sleeping more than normal, really, but that's to be expected)!! after 3 days of not sleeping and a few changes in painkillers, she finally just napped for an hr then, after another day, slept through the whole night (and most of the next day). she's started following all her usual routines again and is very keen to eat! still on some painkillers, but they're not having any horrific side effects anymore

now that im not staying up to keep an eye on her all night (while also dealing with upgrading my computer and my phone and also my sister preparing to go overseas and the dogs barking and howling constantly due to all of the above), i finally got some decent sleep too and slept for about 14 hrs. so today ive got that weird shakiness that i get from sleeping too much, but hey it's better than the whole of the last week

[janeways-coffees]

Just slept for 12 hours and i do not feel like a real person now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[itsalwaysdark]

i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

[lycankeyy]

It only took me like 10 years to start getting really fed up with the fact that it takes me like two hours of doing nothing to fall asleep after I lay down

[catboyfurina]

.