#maybe i will make a post dedicated to all the shades i wanna see on him bc ik if i started going on about it now i would NOT shut up

[wikitpowers]

I love your hair!dyer au for Kit!!! I was wondering what your favourite hair colours for him are!

From the ones I’ve seen you’ve post I really like the copper hair the strawberry blonde!!

I also feel like Kit would be peak with dark blonde hair or dirty blonde hair!!

queue another hair dyer!kit post, guys❗

YES I LOVE THE COPPER AND STRAWBERRY BLONDE HAIR SO BADLY AHHHH (i also got an ask about blue haired kit and made posts about kit with highlights and a MULLET bc i just love those ideas so freaking much). i’m obsessed with the hc that kit experiments with different hair colours like it’s so freaking cute! and i just know that both him and dru dye their hair together like true besties <3

but listen, as much as i love the hair dyer!kit hc, i absolutely adore (and i mean adore) his natural hair like i’m a full on sucker for blonde hair and i just know his is so so gorgeous :’)

jesus u are totally gonna regret asking me this question bc i will be going on an absolute tangent

in official arts his hair seems to have a bit of an undercut which i am actually insanely obsessed with like yes!!! undercuts are seriously so hot icl!!! 😳

��� so i imagine his hair to sorta be like this and omg i-

also i LOVE thinking of the curly haired!kit hc,, like just imagine the ✨vision✨ ugh i just know he would look crazy good

as for the shade of blonde, i'm thinking his hair is like honey-toned blonde like proper golden. like that would just be so beautiful :"o

basically what i'm trying to say is i just love him with whatever hair style and shade he has, my boyyo :(

[prissygrlsorority]

everything you need to make your own personal beauty binder 🎀

disclaimer: this post is heavily inspired by @tomb-of-ligeia and @daphne-dauphinoise, and early 2010s beauty youtubers. it’s always kind to credit your inspo <3

inspired by the lookbooks and makeup charts used by makeup artists designers at high fashion runways shows and childhood bratz coloring and activity books. the law of attraction is at use heavily with this binder (writing down goals and wishlists)!

you should be keeping diy recipes you find in here.

*you don’t need a physical binder. some people function better with digital mediums. i prefer anything physical and concrete. but you can do all this in something like a notion, or your notes app, etc.

why? 🎀

a cute girly hobby (esp for type A, anal retentive, or analytical personalities/extremely creative, hands on people) to keep track of your routines, motivate you to keep yourself maintained, and figure out what works best for you. it’s nothing too serious, just a girly pastime for people that maybe buy too many products, slip up on routines, or don’t what looks best on your features. have fun!

what to record in your binder? 🎀

an intro sheet 10 different topics divided by tabbed sections: your personal features, makeup, body, fashion, skincare, hair, fragrance, nails, treatments/procedures, salons/spas/referrals/contacts 🎀

intro sheet 🎀

here, you should keep your goals, desired look, and how you want to perceive yourself.

your personal features

a chart of your color season. mine is cool winter. you can use color season for whatever, i choose to apply it to my makeup.

your natural body shape. this will help you choose the best clothes to flatter your silhouette.

a close up, unfiltered clear photo of your bare face. note your skin type, color, undertone, and any other things that stand out to you.

note what you wanna enhance and what you wanna improve. this will help throughout your binder.

makeup

put on a light layer of every lipstick/lip gloss/etc. you have and make kiss shaped swatches in your binder. note the shade, brand, and finish. then the mood/occasion in which you’d wear it.

swatch all your lip liners, again leaving the details of the product.

swatch your foundation shades. note the finish, name and brand.

make a sheet dedicated to all your “holy grail”, essential products.

swatch your eyeshadow palettes. i have all my shimmer pigments swatches and it’s the prettiest thing to look at.

do you have any go to makeup looks? your casual look, going out look, no makeup makeup look, etc.? do these looks and take high quality pics. make personalized face charts by printing them out and noting the steps and products you used.

take c*nty pics of your lashes after trying on all your mascaras/falsies. note the effects and when you would be most likely to wear them.

print out any pics of interesting makeup looks and products you wanna try.

try on lip combos and kiss swatch them. i’m doing this because i do amazing lip combos all the time but i forget which products i used, and it’s hard to replicate the look.

body

take a stick figure-esque picture of yourself and print it out. any outfit you want to buy, print and clip it out first and see if it’s something you’d wear and actually like.

are you experiencing any skin issues on your body and trying any products? keep track of the issue and how the products are doing.

if you don’t already have one, brainstorm workout routines and general wellness/fitness goals.

what are your fav body products? what products did you buy, and hate? TRACK THEM!

any detoxes/diets you’re doing should be recorded in this section.

record “beauty enhancing” foods and drinks here. mine include matcha, lemon water and acv shots.

fashion

outfit planning! take pics of pieces you already have and clip them out. (i’m doing this currently and keeping them all in a little pocket in my binder).

make a moodboard of your personal style(s). how do you want your closet to look? try to see what details, colors, additions are consistent throughout. when shopping, these are what you should keep track of.

print out your signature clothing color palette if you want to have one.

dedicate a page to accessories you have/want, and how you’d style them.

*this can be expensive but the fashion girls will prob love this* go to the fabric store and buy little swatches that you like. take note of what the fabric is and why you like it.

dedicate a page to all your signature details. all the little specific things that scream YOU and NO ONE else! that means do not write pink, girly, etc. here. that is not exclusive to you, hun.

skincare

take a current filter free photo (make it glam! tie your hair up in a ballerina bun and put on some cute earrings) of the state of your skin. if your skin is perfect, i’m jealous and how does it feel to be god’s fav? if not what problems are you experiencing?

log your current skincare routines and how they’re working.

make a page for your skin type, how it feels when you wake up and how it feels and looks by the end of the day and research tips to deal with your personal skin type.

skincare wishlist! list any products you wanna try and what they are for. sample them from ulta or sephora if it’s possible.

dedicate a page to the skincare ingredients your skin loves the MOST! mine are retinol, bha, and vitamin c.

i have a page for all the extra cute little skincare devices i want. on it there’s a stainless steel gua sha, an ice pack, facial steamer, and pink foreo.

hair

what’s your hair type, density, porosity and curl pattern?

write down any hair goals you have. mine is frizz free tailbone length caramel brown hair with honey blonde highlights by the end of this year.

what’s your signature hairstyle? do you have a signature? brainstorm here.

clip out hairstyle inspo from pinterest and insta and try to recreate all the looks!

what are your fav hair products? i keep track of the best curling creams and leave in conditioners for my hair personally.

take note of any trending products you wanna try.

fragrance

make a moodboard of how you wanna smell. after this, research notes and how they work together.

now track your fav perfumes, your most complimented, etc.

note what fragrances go with what occasion and how they make you feel.

make your perfume wishlist! my fav part!

nails

swatch all your polishes. label them and their finish.

what’s your signature/go to nail look?

do you have any pics of your fav mani + pedis? print them out and write the details you loved the most.

write down your at home mani and pedi routine and it’s frequency.

write your fav colors and styles to wear on your nails. mine are glittery pink, pale pink, white, cream, french tip and pink frenchie. a hyper girly twist on the classics.

treatments/procedures

take note of any surgeries or procedures you want done and what they do.

anything you leave the house to have done regularly, keep track here.

don’t limit yourself! forget your budget! what are some high maintenance treatments you wanna experience? manifest it.

references

write down the sources of which you find great info for beauty and fashion

keep addresses of your fav salons and spas.

keep business contacts of your fav estheticians, stylists, nail techs, etc.

use my branding yourself guide to assist in your beauty binder! so much inspo and so many good resources! 🎀

[gh0st-t0wn3]

CW // Ship discourse rant (Dragonfruit, Spicynoodles)

(Before anything I just wanna say that I don't like getting involved in ship discourse, it's incredibly stupid in my opinion but this actually really bothered me so I had to make a post about it, and this is likely the only post I will be making about the situation. I might also delete this later but I wanted to get my thoughts out)

Also, no shade to Dragonfruit shippers, I know not all of them are like this, but they seem to do this the most from what I've seen personally which is why I'm mainly talking about them.

I'm not sure if other people are dealing with this or if I just happen to be unlucky, but I keep seeing twt and tiktok posts about Spicynoodles being brothers and saying that the ship is problematic by Dragonfruit shippers and this kind of content keeps popping up no matter how many times I click "Not interested" and it's starting to get on my nerves.

It's so incredibly stupid, and not only that but I keep seeing Dragonfruit shippers say things like "if you hate Dragonfruit that means you hate sapphics", "people would like Dragonfruit more if it was mlm", "people who say Dragonfruit gives them sibling vibes hate wlw ships", "Dragonfruit is more likely to be canon", commenting about MK and Redson being brothers/cousins on Spicynoodles ship posts and more.

And maybe some of that's true, maybe some people who don't like Dragonfruit right now would like it more if it was mlm but maybe - JUST MAYBE - some people just have different opinions on these characters dynamics that have nothing to do with their gender identities or if a ship is straight or not.

Personally I think Mei and Redson have nothing more than a platonic relationship, she constantly gets his name wrong on purpose and bothers him whenever she can and overall acts alot like how an annoying sister/best friend would, and if I'm being entirely honest seeing Dragonfruit ship posts makes me a little uncomfortable, but I don't go around commenting that on Dragonfruit posts, I just click "not interested" and scroll and the fact that so many Dragonfruit shippers feel the need to start unnecessary conflict instead of just scrolling or even blocking them is absolutely infuriating.

Also the whole "people who don't like Dragonfruit just hate sapphics" is also stupid considering it's not even a sapphic ship to begin with, Redson is canonically a man and if you hc him as genderfluid, like so many other people do, or as transfem or something else I think that's great, you do you, I love seeing peoples headcanons for these characters. But that doesn't change the fact that he's a man in canon and if you're so delusional and captivated by your own headcanons to the point where you think someone disliking a F/M ship automatically means they hate sapphics then you need to get some serious help.

I've seen multiple accounts now in the lmk Fandom that exist purely to bash on Spicynoodles and Spicynoodlesshippers, constantly commenting on their posts about how much better Dragonfruit is and that MK and Redson are related because DBK and Wukong are Sworn Brothers so that means you can't ship them.

And this doesn't go just for Dragonfruit shippers - yes, this post is mainly about the Dragonfruit shippers who do this since I've seen them do it the most (atleast in my personal experiences) - but just in general, if you dedicate your entire account to bashing other people's (non-problematic) ships and instigating unnecessary conflict in what should be a kind, welcoming and supportive community you need to get off the internet and work on yourself before anything else.

[insufferable-talkstuck]

Dave and Dirk ; Relationship analysis

[ Candy route ]

a post dedicated to the strider father-son brother bond as portrayed within the dubious canonical writing of the candy route

a peek into the past ๑

the candy timeline is the one in which our protagonist John egbert decides to stay on earth C and not go back to fight Lord English, this makes candy the "less relevant" and more off putting timeline. however he does have to retcon back into canon once to retrieve the fridge Gamzee dwells in, per the request of Calliope

when John retcons back we are met with the emotional scene of Dave and Dirk hugging it out on the rooftop, you really can't discredit how wholesomely this is written

CANDY CHAPTER TWO ;

` At the other end of the roof are Dirk and Dave, doing something he never thought he’d see: they’re... hugging. Not just regular, noncommittal hugging. They are emphatically hugging the shit out of each other. Dave’s face is buried in Dirk’s side, and Dirk’s got both arms around him in a way that looks like he’s never actually hugged another human being before. `

` The moment John’s palms hit the fridge, Dirk turns to look at him. His head only moves an inch. Slowly, he lowers one eyebrow and returns to his poignant and deeply personal business with Dave, as if he hasn’t observed anything worth acknowledging at all. `

END QUOTE

im not saying im *disappointed* with this hug is canon, i am just so fond of how this scene is described within the epilogues. now allow me to overthink it.

not only is this moment described more intensely and emotionally than in HS canon, but Dirk sees a boy appear out of nowhere to stroke then *steal* a fridge; and does not think it is even worth acknowledging. he quite literally does not bat an eye. dirk is so occupied with his brother he doesn't care about anything around him, he knows dave is in his arms and that's all he needs to know.

a peak into the past : end ๑

out of the past now, into the new things that took place in Candy. ==>

Candy is the timeline in which dirk takes his life. Dirk can't take becoming irrelevant and prefers his own death, ( and Reforming later on. shout out to Ult dirk ) a Just death as arranged very carefully.

Dave was looking for Dirk for advice, he needed help with his love life and he needed his brother to tell him what to do.

when Dave is met with the news of Dirks passing he is in shambles to say the least, however this does not take him over; Ultimate dirk is still semi-writting everything. he has control and wants the best of his brother he would not let him fall into a depression.

Dirks funeral was sad, a very upsetting scene [ ignore gamzee for the entirety of it ] the first day Earth C sees rain, and a rare occurrence in which Dave takes off his shades while giving a speech about dirk

[ worthy mention; Dave carries dirks head at the funeral ]

Dave knows he CAN go back in time to save Dirk but won't on purpose, he doesn't ONLY love his brother he understands him, he understands him to be a difficult guy, and wouldn't wanna worsen the situation.

the writing goes out of its way to show you just how much the striders care for each other

the Davebot situation

robots are a very common thing in homestuck, they're pretty much everywhere maybe it was a 2009 thing. But many among the fandom seem to believe a character *becoming* a robot is equal to the character dying. that is absolutely not the case especially not when DIRK is the robot maker

[ my opinions and theories incoming ]

Dirk does not view robots as "less than" humans, he grew up around them they were his only company so much so he prefers them to humans in many instances, i think the REASON he made Davebot happen ( we all know it was the prince's doing. ) was to keep him somewhat relevant, Dirk cares about the Meat timeline cause he believes it to be more important, but he wouldn't want his brother thrown into irrelevance! he cares about him, ergo turning him into a robot, it's the best he can do for his poor sonbro doomed to being "forgotten" [ dirk makes his robots with care especially when housing family. he puts a lot of work into them and it shows just how important they are to him. Davebot is shown to be strong as shit, slicing fruit thrown at him with his katana like he's playing fruit ninja, meat!Dave wouldn't do this by choice, its dirk trying to make him stronger. I won't even touch of how RAD rosebot is. just look at what she can do and TELL me becoming a robot is equal to death. ]

๑ end ๑

if i were to cover dave and dirks ENTIRE relationship in both timelines and HS^2 I would reach a character limit or my phone would explode. i have so many thoughts on it all and they're so precious, anyway in sum; Candy!Dave and Dirk should have hugged more. oh and deeply care for each other

[alloftheimaginess]

Forever

Requested on wattpad

Warnings: mentions of cancer, death and shitty writing

Also excuse the sad imagines I’ll be posting. They are helping me with my grieving process

"Mommy I need you to record me" Phoebe says as soon as I walk off set.

"What's happening?" I ask going over to her and she smiles at my costume.

“I like your costume” she says and I smile at her.

"But I want you to record me doing something" she says and I nod pulling my phone out.

"Okay I'm recording. What are you going to do?" I ask recording her as we move to outside where the filming isn’t taking place.

"Tom taught me how to cartwheel and it was super cool because he was in his Spider-Man costume" she says grinning at the camera.

"Show me, I want to see it" I say and she nods and she runs back a little and she does it halfway and I cheer.

"That was amazing bee" I say cheering her on and she bows.

"Thank you, thank you" she says blowing kisses and she runs up to the camera smiling a big toothless smile and she makes a face before covering the camera.

"We got you something bee" I say and she looks up from her homework.

"What is it?" She asks.

"A gift" I say and Chris hands her the box.

"What is this?" She asks shaking it.

"It's a surprise for you" he says.

"But it's not my birthday, that was last month and Christmas isn't for another month" she says.

"We know but we wanted to surprise you" I say and she nods.

"Okay" she says unwrapping it and she takes the top off and she starts screaming as she climbs on her knees in the seat to get a better look inside the box and she pulls out the ultrasound.

"You have a baby?" She asks.

"Yeah we do" I say and she jumps up and down with excitement on her knees as she pulls the other stuff out the box.

"It's so tiny and cute" she says cuddling the onesie.

"Do you know what it is?" She asks.

"Not yet, we are going to figure that out soon. Uncle Scott and auntie Sn are throwing a reveal party" I say and she holds the ultrasound up squealing.

"I can't wait to give this baby all my love" she says.

"What about us?" Chris asks and she looks up from looking closely at the ultrasound.

"I don't have enough to love all three of you so I'll love you both until the baby gets here. It's not that hard to understand daddy" she says with a duh tone and he laughs.

"I guess it's the only logical thing to do, foolish me" he says and I laugh as she kisses the ultrasound.

"Last session" I say and she grins at my phone as I record her.

"I'm going to beat cancers booty" she says and I laugh.

"Yes you are, you're my little superhero" I say.

"I want to be the Hulk" she says.

"The Hulk?" I ask and she grins even wider nodding.

"Yes. He doesn't have to wear clothes and no one complains when he doesn't, nothing scares him and he can't die. Also uncle Mark is cute" she says giggling and I laugh.

"Totally agree with you there" I say.

"Plus who wouldn't want to be green?" She asks.

"I wouldn't want to be green" I say.

"Yeah because you're boring" she says and I gasp holding my chest.

"You wound me" I say.

"I'm just kidding mommy you're not boring. You just don't understand the Hulk" she says laughing and Chris walks in looking down at his phone.

"Daddy!" She yells and he jumps causing her to laugh even harder.

"What's up bug?" He asks turning to face her as he puts his phone away.

"If you had to be any other superhero that's not Captain America who would you be?" She asks.

"Ooh maybe Iron man" he says and she nods.

"Who did mommy pick?" He asks.

"She didn't. I did though" she says.

"You'd be the Hulk because he doesn't have to wear clothes, huh?" He asks and I laugh shaking my head.

"That was her exact answer" I say and he laughs unpacking her lunch.

"Let me in or else I'll beat down your door, then two strangers who had been two silhouettes on the shade said to my shock you're on the wrong block" she sings.

"Silhouette" I sing.

"Silhouette" she sings super high and she instantly starts cracking up.

"Silhouette" I sing and she doubles over from laughter.

"Silhouette" she sings through her giggles, gasping for air and I start laughing with her.

"I appreciate your dedication to this performance" I say and she leans on me trying to calm down.

"The show must go on" she says in giggles and I smile at her and she leans on my arm trying to completely calm down.

"Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, merry Christmas" she sings over and over as she dances through the house and she drops a gift in my lap and I look up and she drops one on Chris.

"What's this?" He asks.

"A gift for you" she says.

"Uncle Scotty helped me get them so open them" she says and I rip the paper off and it's a jewelry box and I open it and it's a heart necklace.

"It has all of our initials including the baby’s. Right there" she says and I smile at it.

"It's beautiful" I say and I hug her and she hugs me back kissing my head.

"I love it" I say.

"Okay it's my turn" Chris says and she pulls away from me and he opens his and it's a watch.

"It's us" she says tapping the watch.

"I'm going to wear this everywhere" he says.

"Good. Never take it off" she says.

"Never" he says and they pinkie promise.

"What is it? What is it?" She asks and I laugh as Chris and I stand beside her and he starts to hand her the string.

"As soon as you pull this string we'll fi-" she snatches the string from him and pulls it before he can finish telling her and everyone's laughs turn to cheers as pink confetti and powder falls over us and she starts squealing as she jumps around.

"It's a girl!" She screams running around us and he kisses me and I kiss him back.

"We're having another girl, you're officially outnumbered" I say and he laughs as Phoebe continues to scream.

"I think we both are" he says kissing me again and Phoebe jumps and he picks her up and she wraps her arms around my head pulling me close.

"I'm so excited" she says out of breath and I laugh.

"I couldn't tell" I say and she leans her cheek on Chris’ cheek.

"I'm getting a baby sister. I can't wait to meet her" she says trying to catch her breath.

"Hey bee how about we go get some of the powder on auntie Cobie and uncle Taran" I say and she quickly nods and Chris sets her down and she bends down picking some up off the ground and she runs off over to where they are standing.

"I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see em dancing" Phoebe sings laid back as she's cuddled up with Chris and the baby as we watch the little mermaid after coming home from bringing the baby home from the hospital.

"Walking around on those what do you call 'em? Oh, feet" she sings.

"Flipping your fins you don't get too far, legs are required for jumping, dancing, strolling along down a- what's that word again?" Chris sings.

"Street" Phoebe sings loudly and I smile at them.

"Up where they walk, up where they run up where they stay all day in the sun, wondering free. Wish I could be part of that world" she sings quietly grabbing the baby's hand.

"What would I give if I could live out of these waters? What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?" She sings laying her cheek against Chris' as she watches the movie with tears in her eyes.

"You can try. Oh but I-I love you means you're never ever ever getting rid of me" she sings dancing in place.

"Ready for your check?" I ask.

"Not quite. Pie for everybody. I grew up an only child in the suburb of the city. I spent my days alone, my only friend was a stray kit-"

"Are we going to sing show tunes all day or are we going to get dressed so we can leave?" Chris asks cutting her off and she turns around.

"Daddy you're ruining the video so if you aren't going to sing get out the way" she says trying to push him out the shot and he plants his feet and she starts groaning.

"But I love you means you're never ever ever getting rid of me" he says and she starts giggling.

"Daddy stoppp" she says using her back to add pressure to his leg to move him and she starts to slip and he catches her by her arms and she laughs.

"Okay, I'll move. I wanted to see your mom anyway" he says walking over and kissing me.

"Where's my kiss?" She asks.

"You didn’t want one. All you wanted was for me to get out the way and leave you alone" he says.

"You don't have to leave" she says and he picks her up and she kisses him.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Bee, happy birthday to you” everyone sings as Chris walks the cake into the living room where everyone is and she holds Ainsley at the table.

“Come on chunky monkey we have to make a wish and blow out the candles” she says keeping Ainsley from touching the flames as she quickly makes a wish and blows out the candles.

“What did you wish for?” I ask and she looks up at me.

“A million more birthdays like this” she says smiling and I rub her cheek with my thumb and her smile grows.

“Can I cut the cake?” She asks.

“Yeah, the first piece. Daddy will help” I say.

“Yay” she says and I grab Ainsley.

“Bye chunky monkey, I’ll cut you a slice first” she says rubbing her hands together excitedly causing everyone to laugh.

“Chunky monkey can’t have cake yet” Chris says.

“But daddy today is chunky monkeys sixth month birthday and my seventh birthday so she should be able to have cake” she says pulling on her best puppy dog eyes.

“She got you there. Try to say no to that little face” I say and he groans.

“Fine, a little piece” he says.

“Do you hear that chunky monkey, daddy is going to let us eat all the cake” she says playing with leg and he helps her cut the first slice.

Yn and Chris Evan share videos of their seven year old just days after she passes away from cancer letting everyone know that Phoebe’s or Bee’s (as everyone in her life called her) spirit will live on forever.

[icollectyoursins]

Kishibe Rohan x Reader SFW + NSFW

Anon said: “Consider Rohan sfw and nsfw hcs? And in nsfw Rohan could be a top,,? Prrtty pleade hhh, since there is only one work of Rohan ;;”

I hope these are good, not too familiar with Rohan, so I hope you like it!

Wanna know what I’m willing to write? Rules here!

Have a character, but no idea? Prompt list here!

Looking for more? Master post here!

WARNINGS: Making out, stands used in inappropriate ways, fingering, voyeurism, dildos, fucking machines, spanking, hand jobs, blow jobs, oral, face fucking, cock warming, nipple play, nude modelling. 

Word Counts: 2201

SFW

Rohan is a jackass who cares. In the beginning, he’s very private and stand-offish, but he does warm up to you eventually, though he’s still nicer in private than he is in public. He claims this is because he’s a “celebrity” and can’t have his fans see you too close together yada, yada. It’s bullshit and you know it, but you have the feeling it’s because he’s not used to people being close to him. 

Yes, he does have a binder dedicated to paintings, drawings, sketches, etc. all for you. Some are a little on the artistically lewd side, but most of them are of your hands holding something or your smile, your face and shoulders. Some of them he asked you to model for, others he quickly sketched down while you weren’t paying attention and then finished later.

When he’s not holed up inside, he enjoys walking down to either parts of Morioh where he can people watch or down to the park where he can study wildlife (and maybe draw you playing with ducks). 

You are literally never bored in his house. He has every book under the earth and so many loose painting supplies that he painfully lets you use to fool around. (Though let’s be honest, He likes that you take an interest in his job and would be more than happy to give you tips.)

You know what? Rohan is a backseat artist. He watches every stroke you make over your shoulder and tells you maybe you should move the hand this way to make it more natural or add some light shading here to make it dynamic. It may come off as a little pretentious at first, but if you keep with it, he’ll notice the improvement and (occasionally) tell you how good you’re doing while being a total blushing mess.

    You sat in the window seat, knees up with your back against the wall. Resting on your thighs was a sketchbook. Currently, you were just idly drawing lines of shading onto a face. Rohan himself was also busy colouring in his most recent page, though every now and then he would catch himself looking up at your silhouette, lit up by the light in some kind of halo effect.

     Finally, he caved in to his curiosity. Setting down his pencils, he strode over to you. You didn’t notice until his face manifested itself over your shoulder. Startled, you jumped, causing your pencil to make a long line on your artwork. 

     “Jesus, warn me next time.” You said, grabbing your eraser.

     “Have you been struggling with the nose?” He completely ignores you, still staring at your drawing. The paper was clearly marked up by the eraser with deeper marks from where the pencil was.

     “Yeah, actually. It’s either too big or too small. Kind of just gave up.” You carefully tried to erase the long line but wound up taking away parts that you were actually happy with.

     “Be more gentle with the pencil, it’ll make it easier to erase.” He suggested with a monotone.

     “I tried-”

     “And then you got frustrated and pushed harder. I admire your persistence, however, if something isn’t to your liking, walk away and come back. Remember to look at the picture as a whole, not just the nose.” You rolled your eyes, gently tossing your pencil onto the window seat. As much as you wanted to appreciate the advice, you had heard it all before. You were getting sick of it, frankly.

     Rohan took note of your agitation, studying your face carefully. “You’ve improved, though!” You looked up, a little shocked. What? “The eyes are well done and your shading is very even. Good job.” 

     What? Your cheeks grew hot. That was the first bit of praise you had heard from him. About your drawing, at least. He looked down into your eyes, then felt his own face getting hot. He turned away. “Go take a break. I’ll help you when you get back in an hour. I’ll be timing you, don’t be late.”

Like I have said, he’s not overly fond of affection in public (in the beginning), but he can’t deny that holding your hand or feeling you on his arm makes him feel pretty good. The first few times, he’s internally a mess, though he won’t show anything other than a light tint of blush on his cheeks. But when he’s relaxing at home, he enjoys having you under his arm, leaning against him or with one of your heads in the other’s lap. He’s not used to people and even less so used to affection, but can be worked up to being more comfortable with stuff like kissing in front of the Morioh gang and the like.

When he’s comfortable, he is so cocky. Like, boarder line makes out with you in front of literally anyone just to prove you’re his S/O. This always makes you blush so much (unless you’re into that.) More often than not, he’ll have an arm around your shoulders, hand in pocket, looking so smug and proud and cool. 

Pet names? He can either go one of two ways, depending on his mood. Either it’s just your name or babe OR it is every teasing name under the sun. Oh, darling can you do this for me? Oh, baby, oh, honey, oh, my love, oh, my flower. It’s usually used to get something from you or to get you to do something a little out of the box.

I can see Rohan as being the kind of person who is very strict about his bath time and hates when people interrupt him. On the rare occasion, he’ll let you in with him with the promise of either massaging him or something else *wink, wink*

NSFW (Dominant specifically)

Rohan literally does not shut up during sex. Praise, degradation, mocking, you name it! As a writer and an artist, he knows how to stitch words together in a masterful way that never fails to make you hot in the face.

Uh, yeah. He’s used Heaven’s Door on you before. Did he do it to learn your kinks? Maybe to put some kind of loose control over you in certain situations? Looking for people you find attractive for potential erm... art inspiration (voyeurism)? The world will never know.

Staying-on brand with HD, he absolutely uses it to learn everything that you enjoy in the bedroom. He knows how to make you squirm, where to push to make you scream, how to make you beg. He knows everything.

Particularly enjoys using this “power” to finger you, pressing into every sweet spot (that he made more sensitive with HD), licking over the edges of your hole in a way that just makes you dumb (either hole, not picky!)

     A delicate finger was trailed up your twitching hole, making you shiver. Rohan had already stretched you open enough for it to easily slip in again. You were so sensitive from being teased over and over again, but with no relief that you cried out, tears threatening to burst forward.

     He curled his finger up into a particularly sensitive bundle of nerves, slowly pushing into it more. You groaned and whined, blabbering out his name along with various ways to beg. He shushed you carelessly, sounding annoyed by your desperation. God, you wish you could move! You would give anything to be impaled by him right now. Or anything for that matter.

     He removed the digit quickly, then promptly smacked your ass with a flat hand.

     “Quiet.” You had no choice but to listen to him, involuntarily shutting your mouth and stifling your whimpers. “If you want something, be polite about it. Do you know how to be polite?”

     You nodded your head, a single tear trailed down your cheek. Your hole was teased again, repeating the same process as before. Rohan was such an asshole, but god if you didn’t love it.

If you have established a relationship where he has complete control over everything you say or do, he will abuse it so much. Just, tells you to sit still, turns on a wand or vibrator and just tortures you to the point of tears. You can talk, he didn’t take that away (mostly because he wants to hear you beg), but the position he put you in on top of the order. It’s too much for you. 

He’ll do the same with a dildo, a fucking machine, his own dick, does not matter! Once you give him that power, RIP to your organs.

Alright, now. Voyeurism. This man is a freak and does not try to hide it when it’s under the guise of “art.” Again, if established, he will hire random people to do whatever he wants to you. If you’re okay with it, he’ll record it for later research. 

Rohan is a weird jealous type, so he checks out every person you meet and makes sure they’re perfect (ie. not competition and someone you’ll enjoy). Very rarely does he let you pick out the people. Like I said, he’s a weird jealous type. Likes to see you with other people, but not with other people, you know?

There is only one person who he considers competition that he wants you to fuck at least once and it’s Jotaro. Are we surprised? No. Dude is built like a god and has the goods to match. Even Rohan can’t deny it. He would probably want to join in as well, but Jotaro would never do anything like that.

Mmmm, punishments for being bratty? Ooooh, yes. Smack my ass like a drum! Makes you count, absolutely. If he’s in a bitchy, lazy mood he’ll use a paddle or something like that, other than that, he uses his hands. 

As you’ve probably surmised, he likes having control over you in the bedroom, so it’s no surprise he also enjoys tying you up and has a particular fondness for swings where he’ll hang you up and tease you until you can barely walk. 

I mentioned baths in the SFW section, now let me elaborate. Doesn’t like sex in the bath, he hates when the water gets everywhere, but loves when you worship him while scrubbing him down and will allow you to work him up with a light hand job. This usually leads to a blowjob of some kind whether it’s gentle or rough.

Speaking of! His favourite part of sex is probably oral. From sucking bruises into each other’s necks, rough kissing, right down to holding you against the wall and choking you with his dick. Or a dildo, if he wants something a little more adventurous like mirror sex with him taking you from behind and making you watch yourself choke over and over again.

Cock warming is only ever used as punishment for being too needy, but he will keep you in his lap until you’re in tears. He is absurdly patient when it comes to sex.

     You whined, grinding yourself onto Rohan’s dick. He chuckled before letting out a theatrical sigh. Your grip on his shoulders got harder and you buried your face into his neck more.

     “What’s wrong, (Y/N)?” He trailed a soft, teasing hand up your thigh. “You wanted attention, yes? Then, why are you complaining? Now, up, I need another look at my reference.”

     You sighed, tired and riled up at the same time. With new vigour, you sat up, leaning back to show your artist his latest obsession. He hummed in appreciation, taking a minute to admire his muse before licking a warm stripe up your sternum making you gasp. He stopped, giving you a look of warning.

     “Don’t move.” You gave him a curt nod, trying your best to follow your command while he returned his tongue to your chest, exploring your skin’s taste. He flicked over your nipple with the tip, testing your resolve before wrapping his lips around it, sucking harshly. A moan fought its way through your throat as he became more feverous with his suckling. 

     Rohan hummed with you, theatrically mulling over the saltiness, then switching to the next one. Satisfied with the redness around your nipples, he pulls back, looking you over once again. A lightbulb seems to go off in his head and he reaches for his sketchbook which only made his cock shift inside you, rubbing against your walls in a delightfully painful way.

     “Rohan-sensei,” you moaned out. Admittedly, you didn’t like calling him that, but he insisted you call him sensei during times like this. 

     “Stop moving, you’re ruining the picture,” he chided. “Go back to the way you were, darling.” He leaned back, rolling his hips into you to punctuate his words as well as tease you. 

Model nude for him. Whether you like it or not, he will ask you to do it and, if he’s in a sexy mood, you will be asked to do uncomfortable positions that will definitely leave you sore the next day. “It highlights how the muscles work for a new character I’m drawing” or so he says. Other than that, he’ll just let you pick somewhere comfortable and sexy to lie down. 

[ravenadottir]

Hi! I just started playing litg in May and I’m fully obsessed. Your blog was the best thing to happen to me after starting to play! I love reading your thoughts so I was wondering....Which of the season 2 LI’s do you think would actually be in an open relationship? I started CMM with my MC who married Noah but when I saw they could be open I immediately restarted with my MC who married Henrik. I wanted to make out with everyone, but it felt so wrong for Noah/MC

thank you so much! i'm so glad you like it here, love! 🥺🥰 and i apologize for the next few paragraphs, because it's about to be angry in here, and in no way it's directed at you.

with that being said...

I HAD THE FATTEST POST IN MY DRAFTS FOR WEEKS NOW, ever since cmm started. i saw the dialogues about open relationship and polyamorous and had to spill everything i had in my mind!

i didn't wanna sound too aggressive about it, but then again, i always do, especially when i'm pissed off, so... to the slammer, mama!

(i'm so sorry, but that sentence lives in my head rent free and i'll make everyone's problem)

i'm a multistan, but that doesn't mean i agree with the polyamorous/open relationship just for the sake of banging more people. for one reason, and one reason only: THEY'RE NOT POLY. PERIODT. this has the "50 shades of grey ruining bdsm" energy all over.

"i'm not jealous therefor i'm poly." fusebox, NO ❤

they simply threw the terms in there, without researching what everything means, and called it a day! i've seen lazy work, but OH MY GOD, they should take a seat and open a fucking book every once in a while! meddling with this type of thing just to cater for horny (me included) players is disgustingly lazy and i won't shut up about it!

here's why i'm pissed: i have been in both situations: a poly AND an open relationship, in different times of my life, with different people.

an open relationship is when two people seek sexual connections with others, outside of the main commitment, and both parts are aware of the fact they're open, but there's no more to that. neither of the parts are aware of the their partner's "outs", just the fact that they exist.

polyamorous, however, is all about intimacy, commitment and love with multiple people, and everyone is aware of everyone, possibly leading to throuples, and more. a polyamorous person can be married to a person, dating another, being engaged to another, and so it goes! IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE NAME FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!! PLEASE!!

so now that the definitions are out of the way, let's talk about how much i hate this!

being married to someone doesn't exclude the possibility of having other arrangements, BUT, i don't believe most of the main characters would be into an open relationship, or are poly.

i really don't.

commitment to some of them mean something 'exclusive', and in that category we have: lucas, kassam, gary, noah, elisa, lottie, hope, hannah, bobby and chelsea.

in the "open relationship, way before i realize i want to take a huge step, such as marrying her, because i could never live with the imagery of my girlfriend having sex with other people, because i'm jealous and never really wanted this to happen, because i realize it was selfish of me to propose such thing, and wouldn't bear with knowing that my girl has touched by other people" possibly include marisol, henrik, carl, arjun, elijah. they realize it would be difficult to simply imagine what's going on, and they're not really open to it, unless they're not in love yet.

and the final category: "i'll try it, because i know she loves me, and maybe diversity can bring something to the table, but honestly i don't know for sure, and i'm kinda scared of what that might mean for us because i've never done this before, and i don't think i can handle it" we have: henrik, carl, marisol and covidiot.

trying everything, at least once, it's fun for them, but with the foot on the brakes at all times. i know for sure they wouldn't be into an open relationship right away, because they connect sex with intimacy and love, and that might throw their heads for a spin.

MAYBE COVIDIOT, BUT THAT'S A POST FOR ANOTHER DAY. especially after today's episode, i wanna dedicate a full on rocco post here.

at the end of the day, none of the characters were written to like different arrangements because fusebox doesn't know the very definition of those terms at all! they confuse poly with open and i can't begin to tell you how frustrating it was for me to read that!

if you don't know what something means, it's impossible to write your characters' consistent to that very same concept. they didn't think ahead, about any of this, and the very idea of making them "poly" or "open" now? IT MAKES ZERO FUCKING SENSE!

so in shortage, i hate it. and i don't see most of them even open to the conversation.

I HATE IT HERE²³

[randomfandomimagine]

Always Welcome (Luna Lovegood x Reader)

Character: Luna Lovegood, Xenophilius Lovegood

Fandom: Harry Potter

Tags: Fluff, Christmas

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,2k words

Requested by anon: Since it's the last moment to request a ficlet... Could you please write a ficlet with Luna Lovegood (HP) who invites her friend (preferably a female!reader, also a member of Ravenclaw) to spend Christmas together at her home, which they accept, and then one day during Christmas break when the reader asks why they were even invited, Luna confesses they are pretty much the only person in Hogwarts she cares about and wanted to have them close during this time? Thanks in advance! 

A/N: Sorry that this took me so long to post, but thanks for being so patient and lovely! Although it’s well past Christmas, I hope you enjoy!!

Luna Lovegood x Gender Neutral Reader

_

You didn’t know why you were so nervous. Maybe because you wanted Luna’s dad to like you as much as she seemed to do. Maybe it was simply because it was the first time you met a friend’s parent or even spent a part of Christmas away from home. Nonetheless, you knew you were excited despite your mild anxiety.

Luna, leading the way in front of you as she cheerfully skipped through the fields, was oblivious to all these thoughts. She was over the moon to have you there with her on such a special day.

When she stopped before the door of a strangely shaped house that could only be inhabited by wizards, Luna turned to you. You admired the construction, feeling your love for magic grow even further. It was one of the main reasons why you were so close with Luna. Not only was she unique, genuine and lovely, she was also purely magical.

“There’s no need to be nervous” She said with her soft voice, causing you to look at her. “Surely, he may think you’re a bit odd as I do, but that’s okay”

You chuckled, taken aback by such statement. Whether deliberate or not, it had managed to ease your anxiety a bit. It was ironic seeing as everyone in Hogwarts thought Luna Lovegood was a bit odd herself. With time, however, you had realized that it wasn’t a bad thing. It was a wonderful thing in fact.

“Thanks, Luna” You nodded your head, appreciating her honesty as always.

She paused for a moment to dedicate you a sweet smile that calmed you even further. Then she reached out to take your hand and drag you with her.

“Come on, there is nothing to worry about” Luna knocked on the door to warn her father of your presence. “I told him so much about you that he feels as though he already knows you. That way you won’t have to dread talking about yourself”

You smiled, appreciating the thought. It was definitely embarrassing to go on and on about yourself on such a superficial level, especially with someone you didn’t know. Realizing this, Luna had done all she could to avoid it. In fact, she had also told you a bit about her father. You knew that Xenophilius Lovegood was the main person behind the magazine The Quibbler, that he had lost his wife many years ago, and that he was definitely very much like Luna. As soon as the door opened, you could tell she was her father’s daughter.

“Hello, my dear Y/N” Xenophilius received you warmly. “It is so great to finally meet you! My Luna can’t stop talking about you”

When you glanced at her, she was smiling still.

“Thank you, sir” You shook his hand, trying to be as polite as possible. “And thank you for having me in your lovely home”

“Oh, no need for formalities: you can call me Xenophilius” He effusively patted your hand before letting go of it. “If you can pronounce my name, that is”

Surprised by his little joke, you laughed. Although she had told you her dad wasn’t the joking type, you assumed that was an attempt to relief the tension as well as to address he appreciated the effort you were making to adapt to the wizard traditions.

When you came in, you saw the small house filled to the brim with muggle decorations and themes that made you feel at home. Surely, you had spent one or two Christmas at Hogwarts, but you hadn’t actively participated in much of the traditions, a part of you wanting to spend a muggle Christmas with your family. The other part of you, that begged to be immersed in the literal magic, was internally screaming in joy.

Although there was a normal Christmas three, non-magical mistletoe and lots of ordinary decorations, there were also magical details sprung out around the house. The mixture felt like a combination of yours and Luna’s personalities, and so you reached out to squeeze her hand as a thank you for such a warm welcome.

“Come on in” Xenophilius invited you into the house, stepping to the side to make room for you.

The inside of the Lovegood home was like the definition of magical. You had seen the Weasley’s Burrow and was fascinated by it, but this… it had a special charm, unique and quirky like Luna. And it was lovely. Somehow, you felt right at home.

“Make yourself at home” Xenophilius said, as though he had just read your mind. “After all, you’re always welcome here”

You quickly turned to him, taken aback by his words. He wasn’t looking at you anymore, now busy with serving the plates and setting them over the table. Apparently, they had been waiting for you to eat. Moved by his nonchalant invitation, you peered at Luna. Just then, she was staring back at you. When your gazes met, she grinned and motioned for you to follow her with a nod of her head.

You both sat at the table, and you opened your mouth to offer to help, but ultimately decided against it. Luna had already warned you, reminding you that you were their guest and you wouldn’t move a muscle. Deeply endeared by their thoughtful attentions, you just sat there and smiled to yourself.

_

It didn’t take long to get used to the Lovegood residence. It was a cozy place, hosted by attentive people that made everything in their power to make you feel comfortable. Xenophilius Lovegood was charming, with all his eccentricities that Luna had clearly inherited from him. The company was flawless and the conversation was interesting. You learned quite a lot about magical creatures that you had never even heard of, but that were the most curious ones in your opinion.

Luna insisted on taking a walk around as soon as you finished eating, assuring that nargles could take the opportunity that you were vulnerable and full to get in your ears and make your brain go fuzzy. It seemed to be better to keep moving, and you didn’t mind taking a walk with Luna. It reminded you of the times you would wander around the castle at Hogwarts with her, talking about anything and everything.

When you turned to her, you saw Luna was dreamily looking up at the sky, admiring the darkish shade of blue that was taking over it as night slowly fell. You smiled at the sight.

“Is there something on your mind?” She suddenly asked, clearly noticing you.

“Yes… Luna, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course” She cheerfully replied, turning to you as well. “Curiosity is a virtue”

You suddenly felt lucky to have been sorted into Ravenclaw, otherwise you might have never become friends with her.

“Why did you invite me here?”

“Well, because I like you” Luna simply shrugged. “And… because I wanted to be around you during this time”

“Thanks” As a gesture of your gratitude and affection, you reached out to take her hand. “I really appreciate that”

“As my dad said, you’re always welcome at our home” Luna didn’t only let you hold her hand, she intertwined her fingers with yours.

Tag list: @call-me-harley-quinn​ / @wonderlandfandomkingdom​ / @dancewaterdance02​  / @thisismysecrethappyplace​ / @bitchingpretty​ / @lookinsidemyhead​ / @c-taylor-wanna-be-a-glader​ / @welcome-here-in-my-world​ / @x-joie-x​ / @under-the-clouds​ / @legallyblindgamer727​ / @lotsoffandomrecs​ / @goldenhoney-cas​ / @bravelittlesunflower​ / @lxncelot​ / @fortheloveofbenyandtom​ / @suenami3​ / @ta-ka-shi-ma​​ // If you want to be added or taken off the tag list for these fandoms or characters, send me an ask!! // Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

[lady-of-the-spirit]

ok i had an idea and i’d love to hear your thoughts about it- the four horsepeople go to the beach for the day, how do you think that’d go?

I think there are two ways this could go. One is that the four of them are just chilling, because it’s post-apocalypse-that-wasn’t and they’re all struggling to deal with the fact that the moment that kind of defined their whole existence never came to pass and so they don’t really know what they’re here for anymore and they’re all having an existential crisis. They’re all lounging on the beach under separate umbrellas that match their respective colour and wearing sunglasses. giving off the most depressing vibes. they’re all like: 

The second way this could go is the opposite of that.

Death doesn’t care for swimming, so they’re just sitting on the beach under the umbrella and reading. I can honestly picture them not taking their robe off and lounging in full Grim Reaper costume. Or if they DO take the robe off, they’re just. a skeleton in swim trunks in a beach chair on the beach. Other beach-goers think someone brought a plastic skeleton to the beach as a fun joke, and if anyone notices the skeleton is actually turning pages in its book and talks, no one says anything. Either way, someone takes pictures of them, and Grim Reaper On The Beach / Skeleton On The Beach becomes a fun meme. 

Famine appreciates the ocean because it’s water, the source of life, but it will kill you if you drink it. He probably brought some of his work to the beach, and War steals it and it becomes a game of keep-away between her and Pollution. The game ends when Famine tackles Pollution and all of his paperwork flies from their hand and into the ocean. He had fun, though, and ends up buying all four of them some ice cream from the shack nearby. He might do some swimming laps and end up taking a nap in the shade next to Death when he’s done. For the sake of being a bastard, he’d probably end up talking to people on the beach and manipulatively encourage them to follow his dieting technique. 

I don’t know what kind of swimming suit War would wear - a bikini? one-piece? one of those surfing swimsuits? - but she looks hot in any of them. If they were heading for a beach with a lot of surfers, probably a more revealing outfit just to see how many surfers she can distract and cause to wipe out. (She and the others make a bet to see how many surfers she can get. Death just sighs because they do not want to be working today. War has to promise to not deliberately get anyone killed.) She splits her time pretty equally between distracting surfers, trying to see if she can catch any fish with her bare hands, and joining volleyball games others are playing and being totally brutal. What she lacks in skill she makes up for in passion - spiking the ball is her favourite thing and she will spike it into a person’s face. (it’s basically the scene from AtLA where Azula and the evil team play volleyball and may still end with the net on fire.) Of course, she also dedicates her time to bullying her siblings (see above) and flirting with women. 

Pollution I can absolutely see in either a t-shirt/shorts combo or a surf-style swimsuit. They’d probably spend a lot of time trying to avoid or outrun the lifeguard so they don’t get fined for littering or creating an oil spill just by standing in the water. They spend the most time in the water out of their siblings - floating in the water and just vibing, like that gif of the Goofy inflatable floating in the pool, or trying to find a cool rock or shells or the coolest piece of trash, or trying to do water sports. Idk why but I think they’d enjoy surfing or skimboarding? Maybe paddleboarding? I can imagine Pollution meeting with some woman on the beach and the woman’s like “you wanna try paddleboarding? :)” and Pollution decides to pretend they’ve never done it in their life so the woman has a reason to hold them and help them out and Pollution “succeeds” on the sixth try they can be like “wow you’re such a good teacher!”

War probably ends up sunburned by the end of the day and they’re all sandy and tired because that’s always how a beach day ends but they’ve had a good day. :) 

[kexing]

Venji has always been endgame: Benji’s attraction to Victor

the first thing I really need people to understand is that Benji is not watching the show, he’s not seeing things through Victor’s point of view, and for the most part of the season he has no idea Victor is struggling with his sexuality. from Benji’s point of view, Victor is straight and into Mia. that’s how I’m going to be analyzing his thoughts and actions (well, guessing mostly because he does lack screen time and insight moments. hopefully we’ll get more of him in season two!!)

btw I’m gonna break it down episode by episode because I’m insane (and I also feel strangely connected to Benji so don’t @ me)

Episode 1 - Welcome to Creekwood

as I’ve mentioned before, you can interpret Benji’s “nice shoes!” line as interest. but even if you’re not willing to do that, I still think it’s valid to consider that he might’ve felt some kind of immediate connection to Victor (if episodes 2 and 3 are any indication of that. and the Call Me Maybe lyrics).

Episode 2 - Stoplight Party

the “Benji attempts to teach Victor how to make a espresso” scene is very much about Victor’s attraction to Benji so I don’t wanna look too much into it. also Benji comes off as (at least for me!) a very attentive and loving person, so his dedication to teaching Victor felt very genuine. but still like...... he did get lost in Victor’s eyes for a moment before the milk spilled akdjksdjjs

then at the end of the episode Benji calls Victor late at night (he even apologizes for that) when he could’ve called Victor at any other time or could’ve just told him at school. and well, (I may be reaching here but headcanons are always good!!) I like to believe Benji couldn’t stop thinking about Victor, which is why he decided to call. for some unknown reason he already feels connected to Victor and wanted to hear his voice and—

let me stop here before I write a whole fanfic because that’s not the purpose of this post.

Episode 3 - Battle of the Bands

oh boy, I’m gonna try to unpack this episode, hopefully I’ll make some sense. I’m very sorry if I fail!

so, Victor and Benji have the Call Me Maybe (cutest) moment, in which Victor tells Benji that he’s going on a date with Mia the next day.

Now. I need you to remember that Victor explicitly told Benji that he and Mia wouldn’t go to the Battle of the Bands and that Benji had already performed when Victor got there and only performed again because his band won the battle (so I’m pretty sure Victor wasn’t supposed to hear the Call Me Maybe cover). therefore this wasn’t Benji confessing his feelings to Victor. if anything, I believe it was his way of dealing with the intense and ever-growing feelings that he has for Victor through his biggest passion (music), pretty much like making a reference to something that you know no one else will understand (since for everyone else it’s just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop).

but then Victor eventually shows up and hears Benji singing Call Me Maybe and for him it’s definitely not just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop anymore. it’s their song

after the performance, it looks like Benji is going to talk to him about it, maybe to try and make it seem like it’s no big deal (since he thinks Victor is into Mia, and he himself is in a long term relationship) but Derek appears and we’re all left heartbroken (Simon & his friends included).

what I’m trying to say is: they are two halves of the same idiot. while Victor is in denial of his sexuality and attraction to Benji, Benji is in denial of his growing feelings for Victor. we love this denial duo

Episode 4 - The Truth Hurts

not much to say about this one BUT. at the beginning of the episode you can see how Victor and Benji are working totally in sync, to the point where they barely need words like the freaking soulmates that they are. honestly, I’m done pretending they aren’t soulmates because this show just kept shoving that into our faces over and over and if you failed to see it then it’s not my problem (or maybe it is since I’m literally spending my time trying to explain exactly that. but I just care too much about these two and I want people to understand why).

then Derek calls and Benji picks up lovingly because he’s a loving person and a caring boyfriend and even though he might be struggling with his feelings for Victor, he’s not about to neglect his boyfriend (shame we can’t say the same thing about Derek) (no I will not stop throwing shade at him).

Episode 5 - Sweet Sixteen

I could try and say several things about this one but for real, BENJI DREW VICTOR AND GAVE HIM THE DRAWING AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT. like! this stupidly artistic boy!!!!!!!!! this stupidly caring boy!!!!!!!!! he could’ve bought Victor literally anything or not even bothered to think of a gift At All, but he took the time to DRAW VICTOR LIKE ONE OF HIS FRENCH BOYS!!!!! what am I supposed to do with this knowledge!!!!

now I’m imagining Benji observing Victor. the way the light hits his face, how his shoulders move, the shape of his hands....... all the while telling himself it’s just to draw Victor!!!!! but that’s still beautiful and frankly thirsty nonetheless.

p.s I was robbed of a scene like that.

Episode 6 - Creekwood Nights

not much to say about this one except the show blatantly telling us that Derek can be real shitty sometimes. also, I wanna talk about Venji’s dynamics throughout the show so bad but it deserves a post of its own so I’m gonna hold my tongue.

Episode 7 - What Happens In Willacoochee

(stays in Willacoochee or maybe it will haunt your gay ass all the way to New York).

oh boy, this is where shit starts going down for real.

so Victor kisses Benji. I’m not going to defend Victor because what he did was reckless and dumb and frankly disrespectful. but I need to say that it was going to happen sooner or later because when you repress something too hard and for too long, it’s bound to come back with full force and explode in your face. I really wish it was in a different circumstance, of course, but also life isn’t always made of perfect situations and shit happens. (and nope, that does not excuse Victor’s actions).

now think about Benji. he’s been struggling with his feelings for Victor, who as far as he knows is straight and in a relationship, and then suddenly Victor kisses him. my best guess (due to his reaction to Victor’s speech in episode 10) is that he thinks Victor isn’t being serious about it, that in no moment that kiss meant anything but curiosity and recklessness, when they both have people to lose (again, he doesn’t know that Victor struggles with his sexuality, much less that Victor has feelings for him).

so yeah, I believe Benji was upset, not only with Victor though, but with himself.

(I’ll come back to this in a second)

no Benji in episode 8 so.......

Episode 9 - Who The Hell Is B

Benji decides to leave the coffee shop. Victor tells him that the kiss wasn’t his fault and Benji says that being around Victor makes him feel guilty, now why is that?

firstly because he’s not a psychopath and the fact that he cheated on Derek makes him feel guilty. but I do believe that that’s not the only thing that makes him feel guilty. deep down he liked kissing Victor. he likes Victor, he’s been doing his best to keep that buried but Victor had to go and complicate things, so now the only way to avoid making a bigger mess is staying as far away as possible from each other. so he runs back to the safety of his relationship with Derek.

(listen, I know the show makes it seem like Benji is super angry and wants nothing to do with Victor but I don’t believe that’s the case. he’s upset and feeling guilty for liking someone else, denial does make you act very hostile sometimes).

Episode 10 - Spring Fling

Benji’s denial continues but (thankfully) it won’t last much longer.

he goes to the bathroom and tells Victor that he’s read his letter and that he does forgive him for kissing him but that that doesn’t change anything, that it’s best for them to stay away from each other.

that’s until he hears Victor’s speech to Derek (which was more to Benji than Derek so). that’s the moment he realizes that Victor actually likes him, that the kiss as cursed as it was had meant something, that they both feel exactly the same thing. that’s what gives him courage to finally accept that he can’t be with Derek anymore because his heart belongs to someone else. (has belonged to Victor from the moment they met) akdjskdjsj someone please tell me to shut up

which leads us to the bench kiss(es) scene. now, these boys are a whole mess because Victor was still technically dating Mia (he did try to come out to her before, couldn’t do it so he decided to come out after the Spring Fling) (good intention, poor execution).

But I also believe this was just lazy writing and they wanted to have a scene where Mia catches Victor and Benji together. it could’ve been done better, they could’ve been just touching foreheads or something but they wanted the full drama so the kiss(es) happened. I’m taking 50 points away from the writers for this. (also does not excuse Victor or Benji since they literally met halfway. these idiots are so in love wtf!)

(I still love them though, and hope they do better in the future, for themselves and for each other).

anyway, I think that’s it! if you read up until this point: thank you so much!!!! I tried my best to understand and explain Benji since the show said fuck Benji stans. hope this helps!

— love, MJ

[eldritchw1tch]

i don’t want you like a best friend: a tswift-pimms playlist

i don’t want you like a best friend: a tswift-pimms playlist 

link

this is the pimms playlist i spent more than a year working on from like, 2018 to the end of 2019! as such, it only contains music up through lover, not anything from folklore or evermore. @permets-2​ finally poked me into posting the liner notes, which I gave up on because tumblr formatting was fighting me, so please know i haven’t actually looked at them since 2019 and there might still be missing things? idk.

this playlist is absolutely dedicated to my beloved @faiasakura​, who did her own version of an all-tswift pimms playlist completely independently (we actively avoided comparing notes, lol), which can be found here!

i don’t really go here lately but i hope this is of interest to someone!

Prologue

1. Don’t Blame Me (reputation)

for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay

…

Lord save me, my drug is my baby

I'll be usin' for the rest of my life

Act 1: The Q

2. Gorgeous (reputation)

a crush

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

…

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But what can I say?

You're gorgeous

3. Treacherous (Red)

something magnetic, pulling them both in

And I'll do anything you say

If you say it with your hands

And I'd be smart to walk away

But you're quicksand

…

Your name has echoed through my mind

And I just think you should, think you should know

That nothing safe is worth the drive

And I will follow you, follow you home

4. Dress (reputation)

a shared and precious secret: love, desperate and messy and everything. But also: the scrutiny, the frenetic anxiety, the fear.

I’m spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about—

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

5. Tied Together With a Smile (Taylor Swift)

the pressure builds; jack’s anxiety gets worse

Hold on, baby you're losing it

The water's high, you're jumping into it

And letting go, and no one knows

That you cry, but you don't tell anyone

That you might not be the golden one

And you're tied together with a smile

But you're coming undone

6. Long Live (Speak Now)

the glory, the playoffs, the memorial cup: the golden boys of hockey, on top of the world

Long live the walls we crashed through

All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming, long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

One day, we will be remembered

…

Hold on, to spinning around

Confetti falls to the ground

May these memories break our fall

7. State of Grace (Red)

the 34 days, inside kent’s euphoria

This is a state of grace

This is the worthwhile fight

Love is a ruthless game

Unless you play it good and right

These are the hands of fate

You’re my Achilles heel

this is the golden age of something good and right and real

8. Cruel Summer (Lover)

(that golden season and its dark underbelly)

So cut the headlights, summer's a knife

I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

-

Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh)

And I scream, "For whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

9. Haunted (Speak Now)

the overdose: kent finds jack on the bathroom floor

Whoa, holding my breath

Won't lose you again

Something's made your eyes go cold

-

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

You're all I wanted

10. I Know Places (1989)

kent in the waiting room, holding on hope

Something happens when everybody finds out

See the vultures circling, dark clouds

Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out

It could burn out

…

Lights flash and we'll run for the fences

Let them say what they want, we won't hear it

Loose lips sink ships all the damn time

Not this time

Act 2: The Fallout

11. The Story of Us (Speak Now)

kent goes to the draft; jack won’t answer his calls

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you like it's killing me?

Yeah, and I don't know what to say

Since the twist of fate, when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

…

The battle's in your hands now

But I would lay my armor down

If you say you'd rather love than fight

12. Last Kiss (Speak Now)

jack and kent, the same realization from opposite sides

So I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don't know how to be something you miss

I never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

13. Death By A Thousand Cuts (Lover)

Starting to live with the devastation and the broken heart

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

’Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

’Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts

14. If This Was A Movie (Speak Now)

regrets and memories

Last night, I heard my own heart beating

Sounded like footsteps on my stairs

Six months gone and I'm still reaching

Even though I know you're not there

I was playing back a thousand memories, baby

Thinkin' 'bout everything we've been through

Maybe I've been going back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

15. Cold as You (Taylor Swift)

the grief and pain become anger and bitterness

And when you take, you take the very best of me

So I start a fight cause I need to feel something

And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

…

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray

And I stood there loving you and wished them all away

And you come away with a great little story

Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Interlude 1: Jack

16. I Almost Do (Red)

kent doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does (but jack doesn’t either)

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you

‘Cause each time you reach out, there’s no reply

I bet it never, ever occurred to you

That I can’t say hello to you

And risk another goodbye

…

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe

It’s probably better off this way

And I confess, babe

In my dreams, you’re touching my face

And asking me if I want to try again with you

And I almost do

Act 3: Coming of Age in Vegas

17. New Romantics (1989)

vegas; teammates; living in the moment; drinking, dancing, and self-destructing

We're all here, the lights and boys are blinding

We hang back, it's all in the timing

It's poker

He can't see it in my face

But I'm about to play my Ace (ahh)

We need love, but all we want is danger

We team up, then switch sides like a record changer

The rumors are terrible and cruel

But honey, most of them are true

…

Heartbreak is the national anthem

We sing it proudly

We’re too busy dancing (yeah) to get knocked off our feet

Baby, we're the new romantics

The best people in life are free

18. Begin Again (Red)

kent starts to move on

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid

I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did

I've been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again

19. The Way I Loved You (Fearless)

all the drinking and dancing and dating still feel empty and hollow; he just wants to feel again; he just wants that love back

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

It's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name

I'm so in love that I acted insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breaking down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kind of rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

…

He can't see the smile I'm faking

And my heart's not breaking

'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating

Intoxicating, complicated

20. The Lucky One (Red)

kent parson: the loneliest boy, so alone at the top of the world

You had it figured out since you were in school

Everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool

So overnight, you look like a sixties queen

…

And they tell you that you’re lucky, but you’re so confused

'Cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used

And all the young things line up to take your place

—

Another name goes up in lights

You wonder if you’ll make it out alive

21. Come In With The Rain (Fearless)

(starting to move on is not the same as letting go)

I’ve watched you so long, screamed your name

I don’t know what else I can say

…

But I’ll leave my window open

'Cause I’m too tired at night to call your name

Just know I’m right here hoping

That you’ll come in with the rain

Act 4: Implosion

22. Out of the Woods (1989)

memories he can’t escape of a love like a car crash

The night we couldn't quite forget

When we decided, we decided

To move the furniture so we could dance

Baby, like we stood a chance

Two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying

And I remember thinking

-

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet?

…

You took a Polaroid of us

Then discovered (then discovered)

The rest of the world was black and white

But we were in screaming color

23. Red (Red)

Kent decides to go to epikegster

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati

Down a dead-end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin

Ending so suddenly

…

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head

In burning red

Loving him was red

24. The Last Time (Red)

didja miss me? (something tentative; something a little bit hopeful on both sides)

Find myself at your door

Just like all those times before

I’m not sure how I got there

All roads they lead me here

I imagine you are home

In your room, all alone

And you open your eyes into mine

And everything feels better

25. The Archer (Lover)

kent tries to extend an olive branch but it’s still covered in thorns

Combat, I'm ready for combat

I say I don't want that, but what if I do?

'Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

…

I've been the archer, I've been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling

But who could stay?

…

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then I hate my reflection for years and years

26. Bad Blood (1989)

jack’s answer to kent’s wounded lashing out

Oh, it's so sad to

Think about the good times

You and I

…

’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood

You know it used to be mad love

So take a look what you've done

’Cause baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!

27. Breathe (Fearless)

kent, driving away from epikegster

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people and sometimes we change our minds

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

…

And we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

…

And I can't breathe without you, but I have to

Breathe without you but I have to

28. All Too Well (Red)

despite all the pain, there’s an irresistible nostalgia for what they had all those years ago—for when things were so much simpler

Maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece

'Til you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all

Too well

…

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again

But I'm still trying to find it

Interlude 2: Kent

29. Fifteen (Fearless)

a memory, a reflection

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you

You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen and your first kiss

Makes your head spin 'round

But in your life you'll do things greater than

Dating the boy on the football team

But I didn't know it at fifteen

…

When all you wanted was to be wanted

Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

Act 5: Moving On, Growing Up

30. Clean (1989)

finally learning to be his own person, separate from that shared past

There was nothing left to do (Oh-oh, oh-oh)

When the butterflies turned to

Dust that covered my whole room

So I punched a hole in the roof (Oh-oh, oh-oh)

Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

…

The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud

But no one heard a thing

…

Rain came pouring down

When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe

And by morning

Gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean

31. 22 (Red)

friends and freedom, and real joy in that this time around

It feels like a perfect night

To dress up like hipsters

And make fun of our exes, uh-uh, uh-uh

It feels like a perfect night

For breakfast at midnight

To fall in love with strangers, uh-uh, uh-uh

…

Yeah

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time

It's miserable and magical, oh, yeah

Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines

It's time, oh-oh

32. So It Goes… (reputation)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

'Cause we break down a little

But when you get me alone, it's so simple

'Cause baby, I know what you know

We can feel it

…

And all the pieces fall right into place

Getting caught up in a moment

Lipstick on your face

So it goes…

…

I'm yours to keep

And I'm yours to lose

You know I'm not a bad girl, but I

Do bad things with you

So it goes…

33. Dancing With Our Hands Tied (reputation)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

I, I loved you in secret

First sight, yeah, we love without reason

Oh, twenty-five years old

Oh, how were you to know?

…

Could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets

Picture of your face in an invisible locket

You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it

I had a bad feeling

…

I'd kiss you as the lights went out

Swaying as the room burned down

I'd hold you as the water rushes in

If I could dance with you again

34. Wildest Dreams (1989)

[a doomed love can still be a good one]

He's so tall and handsome as hell

He's so bad, but he does it so well

I can see the end as it begins

My one condition is

…

Say you'll remember me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Red lips and rosy cheeks

Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your

Wildest dreams, ah-aah, haa

34. Shake It Off (1989)

At the top of his game, at the top of his sport, and actually happy at long last

I never miss a beat

I'm lightning on my feet

And that's what they don’t see, mm, mm

…

But I keep cruisin'

Can't stop, won't stop groovin'

It's like I got this music in my mind

Saying it's gonna be alright

…

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

35. Holy Ground (Red)

Remembering with enough distance and experience to appreciate what was, not ache from it

Spinning like a girl in a brand new dress

We had this big wide city all to ourselves

We blocked the noise with the sound of, "I need you"

And for the first time, I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story's got dust on every page

But sometimes, I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd

…

'Cause darling, it was good

Never looking down

And right there where we stood

Was holy ground

Act 6: Reunion

36. ME! (Lover)

reconnection, reconciliation, re-appreciation

I know I tend to make it about me

I know you never get just what you see

But I will never bore you, baby

(And there's a lot of lame guys out there)

…

'Cause one of these things is not like the others

Livin' in winter, I am your summer

Baby doll, when it comes to a lover

I promise that you'll never find another like me-e-e

37. This Love (1989)

an unexpected reawakening

Tossing, turning

Struggled through the night with someone new

And I could go on and on, on and on

Lantern, burning

Flickered in my mind, only you

But you were still gone, gone, gone

…

Been losing grip, on sinking ships

You showed up just in time

…

This love is good, this love is bad

This love is alive back from the dead, oh-oh, oh

These hands had to let it go free, and

This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh

38. End Game (reputation) (ft. ed sheeran as jack)

After all this time, there are things they aren’t ever going to let go of again, no matter the trouble they bring

I got a bad boy persona, that's what they like (what they like)

You love it, I love it too 'cause you my type (You my type)

You hold me down, and I protect you with my life

…

I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be

Just another ex-love you don’t wanna see

I don’t wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you)

Like the other girls do

I don’t wanna hurt you, I just wanna be

Drinking on a beach with you all over me

I know what they all say (I know what they all say)

But I ain't tryna play

…

I wanna be your end game (End game)

I wanna be your first string (First string)

I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team)

I wanna be your end game, end game

39. You Are In Love (1989)

something real; something sacred; something to build a life on

You can hear it in the silence (silence), silence (silence), you

You can feel it on the way home (way home), way home (way home), you

You can see it with the lights out (lights out), lights out (lights out)

You are in love, true love

You are in love

…

You kiss on sidewalks

You fight and you talk

One night, he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says "You're my best friend"

And you knew what it was, he is in love

40. Change (Fearless)

when the two biggest hockey players of their generation come out of the closet—together—are in love with each other—it changes more lives than just theirs

So we've been outnumbered, raided, and now cornered

It's hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair

We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found

They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away, say we don't need this

But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this

…

'Cause these things will change

Can you feel it now?

These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down

This revolution, the time will come

For us to finally win

And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah

Oh, oh

41. Call It What You Want (reputation)

When it stops mattering what anyone else thinks

All my flowers grew back as thorns

Windows boarded up after the storm

He built a fire just to keep me warm

All the drama queens taking swings

All the jokers dressing up as kings

They fade to nothing when I look at him

And I know I make the same mistakes every time

Bridges burn, I never learn

At least I did one thing right

I did one thing right

I'm laughing with my lover, makin' forts under covers

Trust him like a brother

Yeah, you know I did one thing right

Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

…

My baby's fit like a daydream

Walking with his head down

I'm the one he's walking to

So call it what you want, yeah

Call it what you want to

42. Lover (Lover)

love

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

And this is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

…

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close?

Forever and ever, ah

Take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my lover

43. New Year’s Day (reputation)

love

You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

I can tell that it's gonna be a long road

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

…

Don't read the last page

But I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we're making mistakes

I want your midnights

But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

44. Daylight (Lover)

Building a new life in the daylight

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light

There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven

I'll tell you truth, but never goodbye

…

I once believed love would be (burning red)

But it's golden

Like daylight, like daylight

Like daylight, daylight

…

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

[sarenhale]

I'm really sorry if this is a weird question, but I was curious if there are any specific ways you keep up such a consistent quality AND quantity of art? You're one of the most prolific and skilled artists I follow and I often find myself thinking "how do they do it?!" I love to draw, but I feel so slow and like I can only post once or twice a month. Has there been anything that helps you stay focused and regular with you art? Thanks in advance, and thanks for being an amazing, inspirational artist ^-^b

This is not a weird question at all, it's actually very interesting! And thank you so much for the kind words... wow... I'm so flattered and happy you would think of me as such an artist T__T These are some really POWERFUL and inspirational words, thank you!! I feel a bit shocked to hear this, but also really happy to know I can inspire someone with my drawings T_T You are the one inspiring me now, my friend

As for the question, I think probably the thing that allows me the most to have the time and inspiration to draw consistently is the fact that I work from home as a freelance artist, and since that's my job, it has become a daily routine for me to draw on commissions/freelance work, and also cut some time for myself and my personal art. Being allowed to stay at home and focus on art as my job is definitely the biggest factor on my productivity, like for example when I was working retail full time a year ago that definitely wasn't the case, I always felt so tired (mentally and physically) that I couldn't barely produce anything in my (nonexistent) free time, because I was so tired I just used that free time to sleep and recover... LOL

Aside from this being the biggest factor in my answer, I think having a good chunk of daily inspiration really helps me gather new ideas and even the excitement to create more daily! Things like playing new games (playing FFXIV and fe3h sparked my creativity immensely in the past year), scrolling through twitter and tumblr and seeing art by the artists I follow, and thinking 'oh man I love how they did this shading or lineart', that really makes me wanna pick up my pen tablet and start drawing, and maybe try something new.

I think having some side hobbies can also really help me get some detached time from drawing, relax and 'clear' my mind, so when I get back at drawing I feel more rested and inspired by the thing I made in my other hobby. Like for example I play a lot of pen on paper rpgs like D&D, cyberpunk and vampire the masquerade, and I also DM a D&D game for my friend group: focusing on writing/planning the encounters and the story really helps meto focus on something that isn't drawing for a change, and also gather material and fuel for more inspirations for later! (Like drawing what transpired during our roles, the npcs my players met, what they did... etc)

Drawing daily is definitely something that required a lot of getting accustomed to during the years, but I found that it comes quite naturally for me. I get a bit antsy when I don't draw actually. It also feels weirdly rewarding to me, I have a serious deficit of attention on basically everything, but drawing puts me 'in the zone' and actually makes me hyperfocused, so it feels kinda 'good' to me to be in The Zone as often as I can.

I would say definitely don't feel bad if you don't produce enough or feel like you aren't drawing 'as much as you should', different people have different routines and way of creating. Our minds are all different and work in different ways! I'd suggest try to find what works best for you, maybe introducing some more inspiration in your life is what you need, or just trying new things, like trying new methods of painting/coloring/doing art. Try playing new games, reading new books or doing some writing, or something that you like doing as a hobby: I find that connecting my art to other hobbies is what really keeps my inspiration and motivation going.

I would also say that's it's important that you get some rest and chill when you feel like you're hitting a wall. Sometimes the answer to hitting a wall and feeling stuck isn't to headbutt the wall, but just allowing yourself some rest and time for yourself. Social media may make it look like people are always amazing and producing a lot, but to be honest, there are some periods of time when I'm also feeling super burnt over drawing, and just dedicate a week or something to playing games, sleeping, and doing something else. I wouldn't even pick up the pen.

Maybe it's because my mental health (and problems) go hand in hand with my inspiration and productivity, but I also try to approach drawing as something that should make me happy, not stressed or frustrated. If something feels unreachable today, try again tomorrow. Sleep on it. It's amazing the amount of times that the 'sleep on it' technique worked on my drawings, even for professional and commercial work. Be kind to youself and find what works for YOU! Producing something is better than produing nothing. Even if you feel like you're 'only' making a couple of drawing a month, that's amazing that you're making something with your HANDS!! From NOTHING!!

And also, I personally think that posting 2 or 3 times a month is actually pretty productive. We have lives, jobs, responsabilities in our daily lives, and also need some good time to rest, so all things considered, I think you're doing amazing already! !

I hope my answer was a least a bit useful to you! I'm always happy to answer questions like this one, it's super interesting to get to think about my process and talk about it with others. So thank you for the interesting question and also the lovely and powerful words :) It's especially thanks to asks like this one that I'm really happy I am able to interact with people with my art.

[petergrantkavinsky]

RED QUEEN Spoiler Chat with Victoria Aveyard on Instagram (04/17/2020)

Q: Who’s the inspiration for Mare? VA: The RED QUEEN series is written in first person point of view, which means you’re in the character’s head. The majority of it is written in Mare’s perspectives. The inspiration for her - because so much of the books was her and so much of it was me - naturally, there were things in there and character moments that came from my personality. She also has a lot of things I wish I was and also things I’m glad that I’m not. I think that we as writers get to explore being other people the way that we write. Another character that had a lot of me in him was Julian. Julian was probably the closest to my personality. Maybe a little of Evangeline if I didn’t have the rules of society.

Q: Why did Shade have to die? VA: I firmly believe that character deaths have to mean something, and you have to feel something because if you get to the point where you’re desensitized, you’ve lost the audience and there’s no point in what’s going on. I knew [Shade] had to be removed from the narrative because he made things too easy for Mare both emotionally and physically. It’s very hard to write any kind of set piece or action sequence around someone who can teleport. I had to find really creative ways to knock him out every single time. But mentally he was such a crutch for Mare. When you’re writing, there’s supposed to be many obstacles for your characters, you’re supposed to make things as difficult as possible. That’s when they really start to shine, when shit hits the fan. So I knew he would be removed, and I knew removing him would be a major turning point in [Mare’s] character.

Q: Maven broke my heart a lot of points in the book. VA: Yeah... Yeah.

Q: Did you ever consider to have Maven’s “good side” back? VA: It’s interesting because I don’t see him having good side and bad side. I don’t see a firm delineation in his brain. It’s not like he was switching between people, it was all one. And I think that’s how most people are. We all have different sides of ourselves, but they all conglomerate into one person. I never really considered an about-face for him. I didn’t think it would be realistic to his character, to the world, to the path that he’d set himself on. I think he was really really dedicated to the idea “what if everything I’ve done has been in vain?,” and he almost wanted to make the bad things he’s done worth it, so that in his mind they balance out and there was never any way to square that. I do think - in this part of my dedication to writing real characters and writing people - I think that Mare and Cal maybe made a mistake or maybe wrote him off a little too fast? I really wanted to include that confusion and that sort of moment at the end where Mare is thinking “did we make the right choice?” You’re never really gonna know because that’s how life is, you wonder about choices you made, and you never know.

Q: What was the song Mare and Cal were listening to when they were dancing in the moonlight? VA: It was COME ON EILEEN. In the very first draft of RED QUEEN, there were so many more references to modern-day life. There was a dialogue where Mare said “we’re dancing to this song about someone named Eileen,” which honestly in hindsight wouldn’t make sense because language had changed by that time. Our English today would have been similar with what Old English is to us now in that it would be very very difficult to understand.

Q: If you could revive any character in the series, who would it be? VA: That’s a hard one. It almost makes me feel good about who I lost because I can’t immediately answer “oh, I want this character back.” I think it would probably be Shade. I feel bad for him, the hole he left behind. And it was so fun. I guess?

Q: How far in the future is RED QUEEN set? VA: Post-post-apocalyptic setting. The world has fallen apart and put itself back together. More information about that in BROKEN THRONE.

Q: How did you start writing the series? Where did the thoughts and idea start? VA: I remember I was sitting at the desk and I had this image of a girl in the arena about to be executed, and instead of dying, she electrocutes her executioner and kills them. I was like “what is this?” I remember I wrote a little snippet of it down and e-mailed it to myself, and RED QUEEN sort of built from there. The questions I asked myself, “who is she?,” “why was she going to be killed?,” “what kind of world exists for her to have this superpower?” That helped me build the story and find what sort of facet I wanted to tell and how.

Q: Were you inspired by House Lannister to make House Samos? VA: Not directly, but GAME OF THRONES inspired so much of the RED QUEEN novels. I would say the biggest inspiration I took from GAME OF THRONES - A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE - was the way that the books are structured and written. The chapter endings are almost always an insane twist. I got to the point when I was reading those books and I was covering the end of the chapter because I knew my eye was going to drift, and I would look to the side and “oh, this character just got their throat slit. Great.” I wanted to write that way, so a lot of the chapter endings in RED QUEEN and all of the endings of the books have this twist. It’s one of my tricks for getting you guys to keep reading.

Q: Do Mare and Cal get back together? VA: Well, I don’t know, maybe we’ll find out in BROKEN THRONE, who knows? But I was really really proud to get to that ending and have my characters in a place where they know they need to heal and maybe sort of find themselves again. You can’t necessarily do that with another person - some people do - I just don’t think they could. And they’re so young. I’m so happy with many different endings, but to me it didn’t feel true to sort of bookend a life that young. I think it gives the world more reality if you feel there’s more to come and there’s more going on as opposed to the door has shut, the book has closed.

Q: Which power would you like to have? VA: My favorite superpower is not in the books. It was in the first draft of RED QUEEN, but wisely my agent was like “everything up to this point was great. You’ve got to take this out.” It was time travel, and I’m so glad she told me that. But I would love to be a time traveler. I just want to check out what’s going on back in the day.

Q: Did you cry writing a scene? VA: I’m not a cryer while writing. Some authors are, some authors aren’t.

Q: Did you ever give up while writing RED QUEEN? VA: Yes. I distinctly distinctly remember this. I was about three months into writing the draft. I was halfway through, and I thought this was garbage. I remember I reread CATCHING FIRE, the second HUNGER GAMES book. That sort of gave me this motivation to refill the well essentially, and I wanted to write again. But that wasn’t enough. The thing that really pushed me over the top was both my dad and my best friend who were reading the book as I was writing the chapters. I slowed down so much that both of them were like “can you just tell me how it ends because i really wanna know if you’re not gonna finish it?” And I was like fine, okay, I will write this book. And I did. It just came down to that moment of decision to push through. I work best when I’m under pressure. I was really really under pressure then, my back was so against the wall in terms of career. Looking back, I see what a precarious position I was in. I’m really glad I didn’t realize it at that time, but I’m very glad I pushed through on that.

Q: Was there a different ending to WAR STORM? VA: No. I knew the emotional ending I wanted for RED QUEEN when I wrote the first book. I knew I wanted to end this with the main character and the love interest not together. I knew I wanted to have that reality of too much has happened, we’ve been broken, and we need to heal on our own. That was the message I really wanted to send. In GLASS SWORD, I figured out the plot ending and where it was going to go, and it never changed from there. I’m so happy that my editing team didn’t push back on that, my agent never pushed back on that. Everyone was go for it. I got really lucky.

Q: How did you come up with the names for the characters? VA: A lot of them just popped into my head for the most part. Cal was the only one that was really constructed. I knew I wanted him to have a cool nickname but a really good-feel royal full name, so Tiberias Calore. Calore means heat. And I shortened his last name into Cal.

Q: Maven and Thomas? VA: As of now, no plans to return to that story, short story or a novel of its own. But it was a relationship I was really keen to focus on and show how much that colored Maven and his relationship with his mother. His mom is such an interesting character because she does love her son, and so many things she did to him, she did out of love, like trying to take away pain from him by messing with his brain. It had a lot of repercussions later on, but Thomas was definitely the first thing that was so painful, and he went to his mother and said “take this from me.” I think that was really a slippery slope.

Q: Tyton was good character. VA: Thank you! I liked him too. I really loved the electricons getting sort of a little squad going. That moment where Mare realizes she’s not alone. She’d been kidnapped at that point, and people are coming for her, but she’s not alone in what she is. Up to that point while learning “oh, I’m not the only Red who has powers,” she was the only Red with her power, and finally people who deeply understood what was going on...it felt like giving her a hug.

Q: How many times did you think of Maven’s ending? Were you sad to write him the way you knew you had to? VA: I don’t have those emotional downturns with work. There are definitely scenes where I’m so excited because I cannot wait for someone to read this. His twist in RED QUEEN when he reveals where his true alliances lie, that was one of the things I was so excited to get in front of people and to experience with you. But no, I don’t think I was sad. Does that make me a bad person?

Q: Do you think you would write a book in the same world as RED QUEEN? VA: I would say never say never, but I’m definitely playing in different sandboxes right now.

Q: Do you worldbuild as you go or do you know every backstory beforehand? VA: For RED QUEEN - and maybe this is why this is the first book I ever finished - I did a lot of the worldbuilding as I went. I got my bases, but then I really pushed myself to start writing as quickly as possible. In the past, I worldbuilded so many books, and you kind of burn out your inspiration on trying endless maps, trade routes, character backstories, and family trees. I think RED QUEEN was little bit of both. This new story, I did a little bit more of worldbuilding to begin with, but it really made myself jumping. I think there’s definitely a benefit to extensive worldbuilding. Most of it, at least in my experience, does not make it on the page, but it does help the author metabolize the world and the characters to the point where you’re writing it second nature, you’re not entirely thinking about what they’re doing, it’s just happening because you already know.

Q: Do you have an exact vision of every place? VA: Some places, yes. Some scenes, yes. Some scenes, it’s like shot for shot in my brain, it’s like watching it on a movie screen. Some places, it’s fuzzy at the edges and it’s just the people’s faces I see. But sometimes even those are fuzzy.

Q: RED QUEEN characters in Hogwarts houses? VA: Mare - Slytherin Maven - Slytherin Farley - Gryffindor Cal - Gryffindor for sure, he’s such a blockhead. Kilorn - Hufflepuff Elara - Ravenclaw Evangeline - has Slytherin, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw tendencies. I do not believe in split houses.

Q: Did Maven and Thomas have a romantic relationship? VA: Yes. I believed and wrote Maven as bisexual.

Q: What inspired you the powerful and amazing ending of GLASS SWORD? It’s iconic! VA: GLASS SWORD is definitely my weakest of the four books, I think. That one was tough. Adjusting to writing a book in a vacuum versus writing a book when you had a first book and there was a third one coming, that was really tough. But the ending of that book is probably my favorite. “I kneel.” I remember I wrote those words and [screamed].

*Transcript by me :) (Yes, for the first time in maybe two years, I finally have all the time in the world again.)

*You may also watch the live session on VA’s IGTV.

[fanfictiondreamscape]

When One Wants Ice Cream

Title: When One Wants Ice Cream

Genre: maybe a little bit fluffy, but primarily comedic (hopefully - i make no promises) 

Pairing: Rin Matsuoka/Haruka Nanase/Nagisa Hazuki/Makoto Tachibana x Reader (all separate) 

Notes: Okay, so this was a random idea that popped into my head while going to get ice cream about a week ago. What happened before going was what inspired this was, when my mom asked me to take our dog outside, I randomly had a craving for ice cream. Instead of answering her question about taking the dog out, I just randomly said, “I want ice cream.” 

The rest of the night we couldn’t stop laughing about it, and I still can’t get over it. (Seriously, typing this up was hard enough as I couldn’t type anything correctly while laughing). 

So, I hope you guys enjoy a rendition of my random sense of language combined with swimmer boys! 

Below the cut! 

Rin Matsuoka

we are all aware that this boy would die for you 

seriously, certified best boyfriend #1

but that also means that he isn’t afraid to make fun of you when you do or say something weird

which made this moment leagues funnier than it initially seemed

earlier, he had come into the living area of the apartment you two shared with a question

he seemed upbeat, but you were severely drained due to schoolwork aftermath and work stress

unlike him, you worked in a clothing store as a manager

it was v e r y stressful

and sometimes, you just need some comfort food

“hey, babe, what should we do on your day off?”

he was excited, that’s for sure - it’s the first night you’ve had a day off in a while, and he wanted to go out on a date with you. 

but he wasn’t expecting your answer to be so...random.

“i want ice cream.”

he paused, smiled, and bust out laughing. 

“w-what did you just say?”

you weren’t 100% aware of what you said, but that made it all the more funny

“i want ice cream, rin.” 

he continued laughing while you continued to fully realize what you said. 

“like right- right now?”

“yes, i have a craving for ice cream right now.”

he eventually calmed down enough to get out more than giggles.

“well, you wanna go? we can walk up there, but you gotta hurry, babe.”

you were up off the couch in less than a second.

“already on it!’

you both walked up there with your hands connected, smiling and laughing at the most recent occurrence.

and for the trouble, you paid for the ice cream under the circumstance that rin pays it next them.

in general, though, the statement became a small inside joke between the two of you

(seriously. kou, haru, sasuke, you name it - when you pulled this out in front of them and busted out laughing right after, they were so confused.)

(contrary to rin, though, you had to take a photo of every time their reactions came - you have an album dedicated to it and you post the images to tease them) 

Haruka Nanase

haru is soft despite what he comes off as

but he still has his moments of randomness.

and this was one of them.

you two were walking next to each other, side-by-side on your way to the park. 

you were hungry, he was hungry, and you didn’t want fish for the umpteenth time in a row.

and he knew this, as he really does love you and wants to expand his tastes for the future you two have planned. 

so when you decided to ask a question in regards to what to eat, his answer shocked you just the slightest.

“hey, haru, what do you want to eat?”

“i want ice cream.”

you giggled the second you heard his response to your inquiry, watching as he turned to you

though he kept a straight face, you could see the confusion in your eyes

which just made you laugh harder

you two had to stop and he had to hold you up as you nearly collapsed from laughing too hard

“what’s so funny?”

you were still laughing.

“you- you- ohmygod- you’ve never said anything like that before!”

poor boy was still confused

seriously confused

it kind of hurt, if he were to be honest

but he couldn’t help but smile at your expression

or your laugh

or just you in general

and you saw it as you were calming down from your laughing high

“we can get some ice cream, haru. that was just odd coming from you.”

he was confused again.

“i like it, though. it’s sweet.”

he returned to his mellow expression, still stoic and his eyes soft

his hand was held out as you stood up, and you both continued your walk to the ice cream shop from there

now, from time after time, you tease him about his smile

(and you may have asked his friends how to get him to smile and/or laugh)

(to which they told you to tickle him when you could)

(and now he’s on guard constantly)

(look what you’ve become)

Nagisa Hazuki

boi is upbeat

like-

very upbeat

and this translates to college life as well.

so he makes the boring days so much better when they hit a terribly low point.

and while you didn’t deal with these types of days very much, the heat was starting to get to you.

nagisa was still bouncing around and trying to find something to do

even suggesting some crappy board games

you didn’t even bring anything up until you felt your stomach grumble.

“hey, nagisa, are you hungry?”

he jumped up from his cross-legged seat on the floor and yelled his response

“i want ice cream!”

you couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at the reaction, as you were in the mood for something cold to counteract the scorching heat

he had to pull you up from your position on the couch, but you were down for ice cream

which was also reflected in the way you two walked to your favorite ice cream shop.

he had you by the hand, you were dragging your feet behind you, and he had decided to mess with you from time to time

of course, those moments were out-of-the-blue in your zombie like state, but they were fun

people had even watched as you squealed when he’d tickle you or hug your torso like his life depended on it.

still adorable to the bystanders. 

either way, the fun was continued from that point on.

you both got your ice cream, he got his, and you both sat on a nearby bench beside each other

you were happy it was under the shade, he was happy that you both got ice cream

you both enjoyed the fact that this was practically an impromptu date, as well.

at one point, some of his ice cream melted off onto the grass beneath your feet

he pouted, you laughed

and patted his head.

he blushed, and you got your revenge :)

he still enjoyed it, though :)

(he got you back when you both got home by sending you into a tickle frenzy)

(pillows were involved and he still won)

(he’s vicious when he wants to be)

due to the both of you enjoying the experience so much, you’d both be 100% down to do something like this again

which translates to ‘who’s gonna say it first?’

and those impulse dates usually end in one of you getting tickled when you get home.

so yeah, fun times

(if you wanna include the time that you managed to knock your head in against the wall from one of his pillow hits)

(you hit him back hard enough to make him tumble off the couch arm and onto the floor, though)

(but, you know, just couple things i guess-)

Makoto Tachibana

yet another swimmer boi that would 100% die for you

certified best boyfriend #2, everybody!

no seriously

this is the type of guy you want to take home to meet your parents/parental figures

and he will then manage to inadvertently make them fall in love with him within five minutes

but one of the reasons he is so loved by them is his care and patience.

which is why he was worried for you at the moment

you were staring blankly at a wall in your house, despite the sound of the tv playing a screaming match in a show

he noticed, of course, and he was lost

“are you doing okay, s/o?”

you rarely did this, and it usually meant that something weird would be coming out of your mouth within the next-

“i want ice cream.”

there it is.

he laughed a little at the statement, and when you were able to fully process it, you did the same thing.

his lasted for about 5 seconds while yours lasted around 10

good times, as he got to see your smile for another time tonight.

(you’re adorable. he is soft for you. like, more so than usual)

so he was worried for nothing, thank god.

but he still didn’t know what to do about it as the shops were all closing down soon.

so he decided to check the convenience stores

a few were open!

so, at around 9:30 at night, you two were walking out to get one

it wasn’t very long, but as you two were holding hands tightly 

(and swinging them. again, the sight was adorable)

(god, that was so cheesy, holy shit-)

it went by faster.

upon entering your choice of store, the cashier just peeked up from their trashy magazine

makoto was driven to find the ice cream for you as he was getting a little scared, 

but you were driven to annoy the cashier upon the nonchalant interaction that just occurred.

yes, you definitely did want ice cream, but you also wanted this. 

you were reaching for a two liter of soda near the machine, and luckily for makoto, he stopped you

he could see the gears turning in your head.

don’t tell me he can not and would not stop you.

(it was dark, he was scared - leave him be) 

he had stopped you from causing trouble multiple times in your endeavor to get late night ice cream

thank god, cause you both knew that you’d most likely get kicked out if that were to happen. 

either way, you both had your cheap ice cream after a few minutes

and the rest of the night was spent peacefully at your place, watching cheesy movies 

and of course, scaring the crap out of makoto with a horror movie to provide an excuse to cuddle him when you both went to sleep

(your tsundere jumped out)

(also #savemakoto)

[just-mirko]

BINARY  

BNHA HACKER AU - CHAPTER 5

MASTERLIST

Mirko x F!Reader

Warnings: i got carried away. umm a little blood. a little fighting. 

WC: 2.2k

(A/N: this one is dedicated to @sushi044123 thank you for the little message, things like that always make me wanna write more <3)

__

I went to sleep quickly. I woke up early. I slept well. The next day started fine. I made coffee and pondered over the empty desk once more. I was ignorant.

__

             I would have never suspected any change when I stepped out into the halls and began walking to class. While on my way there, I met with Mirko, who was wearing casual yoga pants and a loose tank top. Along with that was a black bomber jacket that adorned her shoulders Her long, flawless platinum hair was pulled into a long brain. Even when put up, her hair reached her waist.

             The hood of the jacket was once again, over her head, and… once again… seemed to be hiding something. Eh never mind maybe shes a catgirl. You can never really judge.

             Soon every student had congregated in the classroom. It was a stark contrast to the nice elegant theme of the main room. Instead, we were in the penthouse at the top of the large building we entered on the first day. The elegant and crisp post-sunrise glow filled the room which was almost fully surrounded glass windows. Maybe only four other skyscrapers challenged the height of the one we were in.

             I walked up to one of the windows, noticing a slight mature difference as the glass was icy cold and on the other side, was covered in a thin layer of mist. Even as someone who isn't afraid of heights, looking down at the world below which was engulfed in a thin layer of grey fog, overcame me with fear. To think that this thin layer of glass would protect me from the bustling world below.

             How strange. We were hidden from society. The outcasts who preferred to be anonymous robin hoods than gaudy and fake heroes. But with 3 of the four walls in this room window, I felt as though I was on display to the whole world. A steel pedestal specially made for all of us.

             After admiring the view, I stole a glance at Mirko. Unlike me, she didn't look at the ground below, but above, up to the clouds which we so very close. They never looked that large from the city floor.

             “Students! You’re finally here!” A chipper and high squeaky voice alerted me. My footsteps were short as I stepped back from the side of the room. The students turned to the short little mouse. Small groups had formed, mostly of 2-3 people awkwardly standing next to each other from a partial distance…

              for that one wooden guy and the blonde. They were standing pretty close-

             “You can all remove your masks now! They were a temporary thing, now that new have completely erased all traces of who you were previous to this school, you are perfectly safe from outsides and other students. As far as the world knows, you currently don't exist.”

             His sweet attitude didn’t deter me from the almost translucent threat in his voice. Hesitantly, people began to take them off and reveal their faces. After about half the classroom had removed theirs, I undid the ribbon that held it to my head and let it fall into my hand. A tingle of cool metal spread on my skin. I placed it on the ground next to my feet and glanced up at my peers.

             Most fit what I expected, they were still strangers, but now I had a chance at remembering them.

             A rush of embarrassment coursed up into my brain when I took the liberty to Look up at Mirko, I traced my gaze over her face and her perfect features while she took me in as well. Our eyes met for a second too long while I drowned in a crimson abyss. My cheeks almost flushed the same shade as her eyes. I turned away and heard her quietly chuckle:

             “cute”

             Now I was red.

             “Now that we have had time to familiarize ourselves to the minimum, I would also like to say the same for quirks!”

             Mirko’s flashed a wide grin, canines showing.

             “You are all now safe to show quirks, as that has also been cleaned from reality.”

             In my peripheral vision was a quick flash of dirty blonde. When I glanced over, Hawks turned his head away, a distant look. I didn’t look away though, and if he was as smart as he acted, he noticed. The daggers I was shooting from my eyes aimed at the briefcase in his hand.

             “So, my little criminal prodigies, though many of you are already masters in your main craft, we want to reach past those horizons-”

             He cleared his throat and redirected my attention to his short stature. With a sigh he continued;

             “Those horizons being combat, tactical, hardware engineering, and friendship! Within the combat course, we will be going over-” I felt a short soft tap on my shoulder. It was Mirko.

             “in tactical we want to utilize your current stren-”

             “Hey, pssst”

             She whispered, but when I turned to her she was still looking ahead to Nezu. Ruby eyes glowing in the ethereal morning light.

             “engineering will be taught for obvious rea-”

             Her hand brushed across mine and my heartbeat quickly spiked. The ghost of her touch remained on the back of my wrist even when she moved. Mirko’s gaze was still stagnant, but in a hushed tone she quietly mumbled,

             “This was in your jacket’s hood”

             Her knuckles bumped into mine once more, though they were more demanding, silently telling me to open my hand. There was a moment of confusion when something extremely soft was placed in my hand. It was light, and there was no weight to it. Soft and light. Closing my fingers around it, I brought it up and looked at it while I was cupped in my grasp.

             A single red feather and a tiny one as that sat in my palm; soft and warm. Hawks. Whatever emotion I was feeling numb all my other senses. Was it fear? Anger? A little confusion. There was some kind of shuffling around me that was dulled by my thoughts. Nezu probably gave the class some kind of directions, as they were talking among themselves. In short sentences and simple words. Surface level stuff.

             Across the classroom, Hawks moved to chat with a tall guy with white hair that fell over his shoulders. He seemed knowingly more anxious now. His hand was fidgeting at his side. He knew I had the feather, but he wasn’t looking at me? Could he feel through them? It would make sense, seeing as he could control them at will.

             Turning the feather in my hand I saw him physically tense up a little bit. Brushing the vane (the soft part of a feather) with one of my fingers, his hand stilled, his actions were choppy as he laughed with the other guy. Oh, he knew what I was doing. I dropped it to the ground and turned to Mirko, a little smile on my face, she had one too. I was about to talk about the feather with her when she shot me a knowing look and a curt shake of her head.

             “What are we doing again?” I sheepishly asked, having zoned out the whole assembly.

             “Pairing up for combat assessments, you're with me.” She playfully nudged my shoulder when I groaned, annoyed.

             When I looked down at my shoes distraughtly I could see the little feather blowing softly away from me in Hawk’s direction. For good measure I stepped on it and crushed it beneath my feet, relishing in the wince I could see him make as he as stretching for warm-ups.

             Mirko at the least seemed amused at what I was doing with Hawks but still wanted to begin training. She was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement.

             “So basically, we get five minutes to spar with any technique we want, no biting, clawing, hair pulling, dirty plays- and then we fight there.”

             She motioned over her shoulder to black mats in the center of the room. The borderline feral look in her eyes makes me feel way to arou-scared to fight her. (Woah there Clarissa this is a family-friendly account).

             “Wait are you s-serious? Fight each other?” I stumbled out. She was a foot taller than me and more fit.

             “Aww c’mon, I’ll go easy on you, whoever is immobile first wins?”

             “I guess.”

             ‘You can do this (y/n)’ I had to say to myself, though it wasn’t that convincing. I've done kickboxing before, so I readied myself into a prep stance. My legs were a little farther apart than my shoulders, and my hands were loose fists in front of my torse. I instinctively bent my knees and began swaying a little to prepare. I wasn’t going to throw the first fight.

             Mirko was turned around, removing her jacket to reveal toned arms that flexed as she placed it on the ground. I gulped.

             “Are you ready Bunny?” She inquired, calmly, even relaxed.

             “Whenever you are” I replied with confidence. I can do this.

             Her hand reached up to the beanie that was sat atop her head. Before touching it though she looked over her shoulder to stare me down. “Are quirks on the table?”

             This was a variable I hadn’t expected, but I wasn’t going to let that phase me.

             “Bet.” I softly smiled and she aggressively smirked.

             “Okay Bunny,” She paused, turning towards me and throwing the hat to the ground,

             “Lets fight”

             Ears sprang up from her perfect hair and she lunged at me with incredible power, her leg aimed right towards my torso. I was shocked by the ears. A rabbit quirk? I didn’t have time to think when she landed a solid kick on the side of my hip.

             Ouch

             Her style of fighting was low and she probably intended to wipe me out, so I would have to aim for her upper body to counter.

             “Oh shiiii-” I quickly dodged to the left, using my arm to block her leg and push it the other direction.

             I tried to get closer and close the gap as she seemed like a mid-distance fighter. Ducking under her swinging leg that was in a circular high kick I tried knocking her to the ground with a punch to her shoulder, that should send her off balance, but she caught my hand and kicked out the back of my legs. My knees hit the floor and I was temporarily stunned. I recovered with a quick little roll the hopped up.

             I faked out a right hook and grabbed her blocking arm, and attempted to get her in a headlock. She was ahead of me though. Once I tried to wrap my arm about her neck-

             A firm grasp settled on my wrist and pried back my hand at an excruciatingly painful angle. I hissed through my teeth and let go, holding my hand which was sharply stinging with pain. A little bit harder and I would have tapped out and forfeited the match.

              Just as I looked back up to attempt to cut my losses and aim for her head, she was running towards me. My legs were thrown out from beneath me and the breath was knocked out of my lungs, making breathing difficult. She sat on my stomach, effectively weighing me down, I couldn't get up anymore. I blindly swung a punch, hoping it would hit something that would give me leverage.

             My fist connected with her upper lip. She didn’t budge from above me though, in fact, she pressed down harder as she sat on my stomach. Each breathe getting more and more labored.

              She pinned me to the ground, one hand holding my arms above me, the other reaching up towards her lip. Red came back on her fingers.

             “Fuck (y/n) that hurt like a bitch.”

             Her grip on my hands tightened to a bruising hold that pushed my wrists together and dug them into the sparring mat. The previous sprain I suffered roared by to life and a groan resonated in my chest. That drew a dry laugh from her, obviously it was painful though. Her hand slammed next to my head, lowering herself a little closer to me. We were both tired and panting. My entire back was throbbing from being so aggressively pushed to the ground.

             She gazed at my face with indistinguishable emotion. Her teeth were barred in a mix between a grimace and a smile. The blood that was smeared beneath her mouth where I had injured her; the red blood matched her wild eyes.

“I win,” She said quietly...

[the-totoko-fish]

🐟Otome game update!🐟

It’s been a while since I gave any news about it but the game is still on the making!! I’m working on it more often than before and even tho there’s still some time left for it to be completed I’ve been advancing at a good pace, so here’s some things to mention

I changed the art style from my personal style to a more canon design since it was taking me more time to finish sprites in the first one and I don’t have to worry much about anatomy and shading when trying to do it ososan style (I also think more ppl will get the dokis when seeing the bois look more like themselves)

I now count with an amazing talented writer! Since english isn’t my first language and I don’t consider myself a very skilled person in the matter I asked someone I think is very good at writing ososan fics and has a good perception of the boys to help me write the plot I have planned for the game

Since I hadn’t seen as much activity here in tumblr as before in the fandom I was thinking of making a discord server to talk more with anyone that could be interested in the game or to directly ask you questions of what would you like to see in it, stuff like that...I’m not so sure if it’d be a server dedicated to the game entirely or a self insert server... so I’ll let you know later maybe by posting a link to it when is done

All the game menus are done and the entire plot is coded, what I still need to work on is in all the images and the storytelling which is relatively easy to do but takes time since I only have two hands!! 

Since I had to redo the sprites and scenes that I did first in my personal style the progress of the game hadn’t change much since the last time I talked about it (´°̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥｀) so from a 15% I’m now at a 25%?? but!! the good thing is that ososan style since it takes me less time to draw and color it allows me to advance faster! 

I think that’s all I needed to say... sorry I hadn’t been so active in this blog, I’m mostly active now in my si twitta now if you wanna see content from me (tho is gonna be oso and me smooching 24/7) Matsu requests are closed but I’m still taking commissions!! so if you’re interested here’s my commissions info wink wonk 

yanne~