#maybe i secretly wish i was manly and confidant

[rubarb69]

There is a certain kind of fucked up that a person has to be to give themselves a James t Kirk looking ass haircut in 2024.

[pototters]

White Day - Kirishima

A/N: The long awaited White Day post for our favorite soft hard boy~

If you haven’t read the Valentine’s Day post for him, the master list is in my bio - just click on his name!

Warnings: none, fluffy fluff

Kirishima x Reader

Word Count: 2,705

Kirishima had been terrified to come to class the day after Valentine’s Day and face you. However, it wouldn’t have been very manly of him to avoid you, so he had kept his chin up and greeted you the same as he always did. He was relieved when you smiled back and greeted him in return.

Maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe you hadn’t been trying to confess to him, after all. At least, that’s what he let himself believe. However, after over a week, Kirishima began to realize that your smile no longer reached your eyes whenever the two of you spoke and his panic began to return.

To make matters worse, he had no idea how to approach you about it. Valentine’s Day was long past and he felt pathetic that it had taken him this long to figure out that something was wrong. He was supposed to be your friend and he had always paid special attention to you because he wanted to be more than that.

The worst of it all, though, was that he could feel himself pulling away from you. His self-doubt in how to approach you about the chocolates and what they had really meant was crippling his confidence. What did he say to you? He was afraid that, at any moment, the next words to fall from his lips would be a jumbled mess of asking you how you felt in front of everyone.

Kirishima didn’t want that. He didn’t want to embarrass both of you in front of your classmates, but he had no idea how to get you alone. Every day passed with him watching you closely, looking for a moment when you were alone and he could approach you. You were always with someone, though, and he felt there was no way that he could ask to talk to you alone. He definitely lacked that kind of confidence.

With Valentine’s Day nearly three weeks past, he had reduced himself to brooding at his desk while he watched you talk to Mina each day. Kaminari spoke to him, but Kirishima didn’t absorb a single word. A heavy sigh left him as his brain fizzled, not even one idea coming to mind on how to talk to you.

His sigh seemed to catch Mina’s attention as she looked over at him, catching him staring at you. An annoyed expression crossed her features as she seemed to mutter something to you before standing up and crossing the classroom to stand in front of him. Kirishima blinked rapidly as Mina filled his vision, blocking you from sight, as she planted her fists on her hips.

“What the hell are you doing, Kirishima? If you’re gonna stare at her like that, then you might as well go over and talk to her!” Kirishima’s mouth fell open in surprise for a moment until he recovered and dropped his gaze in shame. “She gave you Valentine chocolates, didn’t she! What else do you need?”

He winced as Mina validated his worries about the meaning behind your chocolates and it crushed him. “I… already messed everything up, Mina. I don’t know what to do, now.” Kirishima couldn’t meet Mina’s gaze, but he felt the heat of it on him. She was angry.

“You’re going to fix this, Kirishima! That’s what you’re going to do! I’m tired of watching the two of you pine after each other.” Mina let out an exasperated sigh as Kirishama grimaced at the tone of her voice, his face flushing brightly until it nearly matched his hair. “Look, White Day is coming up. Why don’t you take advantage of that and make it up to her.” His eyes widened and he finally looked up at her.

White Day. He’d forgotten about that! It sent his mind reeling with ideas, but he needed to make sure that he came up with something that was nothing less than perfect. “Mina, you’re a genius! Thank you!” The pink girl smiled at him.

“Of course, I am. Just don’t screw it up, this time!” She stuck her tongue out at him and returned to her seat, ignoring the confused look you were giving her.

A renewed determination filled Kirishima, lightening his spirits. Pulling out a piece of paper and a pencil, he quickly began to write down his ideas. Class had started back up, but he couldn’t focus on anything other than how he’d show you just how he felt about you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were still raw from being rejected. It didn’t help that Kirishima had slowly stopped talking to you. Had you behaved oddly and scared him away, somehow? You had done your best not to act any differently around him, smiling as you usually did despite the vice around your heart every time you saw him.

No matter how you tried to hide it, though, you felt heavy and not quite yourself. That first night, you had cried an obscene amount. Not even Mina knew that you had been rejected. You didn’t have the guts to tell her. You knew she’d only go off on Kirishima and you didn’t want to subject him or yourself to that kind of embarrassment.

Your gaze would often find him during class, however, and you would drift off into the space of thought as you wished with all of your heart that he felt the same. You often felt his eyes on you, too, during your breaks or during training, but by the time you tried to catch him, his gaze was already somewhere else. 

You felt it most often while you spoke to Mina, but you were always too afraid to turn around. You didn’t want to see what kind of expression he had; wasn’t it enough that he’d rejected you? The last thing you needed was to catch him looking at you with disgust.

Of course, you were being ridiculous. Kirishima had no idea that he had rejected you. He’d simply called you a great friend. His withdrawal from you probably wasn’t anything more than him putting more focus into his studies. Still, you couldn’t stop your thoughts from running wild.

As you talked to Mina about a movie you’d both recently seen, you tried to come up with a way to talk to her about it. No matter how you looked at it, she was going to go off on Kirishima, but you needed to get it off your chest. Before you could bring it up, however, she was rolling her eyes and getting up. “I’ll be right back.” She muttered to you.

You watched with wide, confused eyes as she crossed the room to approach Kirishima. She seemed to be scolding him for some reason as you couldn’t hear clearly what was being said. You could tell, however, that she was mad. Kirishima didn’t even argue, hanging his head in shame. What confused you even further was the sudden shift in Kirishima’s attitude as he got excited and Mina smiled at him. 

You felt a small twinge in your chest at the interaction between them. It was another ridiculous notion that there could be anything between the two of them other than they knew each other in middle school. Mina had told you several times already that she didn’t see Kirishima in any sort of romantic light.

Ignoring what you felt, you leaned in close as Mina sat back down. “What was that all about?” Her gaze shifted from you and back to Kirishima for a moment.

She gave you a warm, yet secretive, smile. “I just had to set him straight from acting like a total idiot. Nothing for you to worry about.” Mina gently patted the top of your head to placate you, but you were only more suspicious. You glanced back at Kirishima and saw him excitedly scribbling on a piece of paper. Something was definitely going on, but what?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a very long day of classes. It was White Day and you had spent the majority of the day watching couples getting together and being lovey dovey. To make matters worse, you were pretty sure Mina had even found herself a boyfriend. She had been distracted by her phone for most of the day and had barely held a conversation.

Even as the two of you were walking home, Mina was distracted by her phone; barely responding to conversation with appropriate ‘uh huh’s and ‘oh, yeah’s. You leaned closer to her, trying to peek at her screen. “Who have you been texting all day, Mina? You’ve barely even-” Kiri Eiji. The name at the top of her screen caught your eye and your stomach flipped. “Why are you texting Kirishima?” You whispered as your steps halted.

Mina froze as she stared at you. Had she been secretly trying to get together with him? Had she lied to you this entire time about not having feelings for him just so that she could watch you crash and burn? No, that was stupid. Mina was your best friend, she wouldn’t do that to you. Then why was she talking to him so much all of a sudden?

“Did… did you realize you had feelings for him, after all? After you saw me fail? Does… does he at least like you, too?” You were trying so hard not to cry as you felt your heart being crushed under a heavy weight. Mina’s eyes widened in a panic and she shoved her phone in her pocket.

Waving her hands in front of herself, she desperately tried to explain. “No! Y/L/N, I swear it’s nothing like that! I really-”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m ready to hear what you’re about to say.” Your ears were ringing, not even sure what Mina had even just said. Your emotions were too high and your heart more than broken. Mina tried to stop you as you ran past her and all the way back to the dorms. Several of your classmates tried to greet you, but you were too consumed, drowning in your tears that refused to fall.

The dam finally broke the moment you were alone in your room. Throwing yourself dramatically onto your bed, you let yourself cry into your pillow to spill out all your frustrations and hurt. It wasn’t until a couple hours later that you were fully calmed down.

Picking up your phone, you tried to text Mina only to find that she had already texted you:

“Wear something nice and meet me in the backyard! We’ll talk and I’ll explain everything that was going on!”

You frowned as you read over the text. Wear something nice? It was the only thing that didn’t make sense. Talk, sure, but what did it matter what you wore? Well, you at least needed to change out of your uniform, so you walked over to your closet and picked out a casual dress. Once you were changed, you left your room and made your way to meet Mina outside.

When you made it outside, your bare feet touching down on the soft grass, you took notice of a large blanket spread out on the ground. On top of it was a large picnic basket, some flowers, and a small cooler. Your brows drew together in confusion until Kirishima stepped out from behind the tree and gave you a hesitant smile.

The sight of him took your breath away; he was so handsome, dressed in a button down shirt and slacks. “Hey.” His voice was so rich and it resonated deep within you. It wasn’t fair. It suddenly occurred to you why he was out here and why Mina had called you to the backyard.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be here.” You turned to go back inside, but you were stopped by a large, warm hand on your wrist.

“Wait!” Kirishima called out for you. “Mina isn’t coming. I… was waiting for you.” You froze, letting his words sink in and wondering if you’d heard him right. “Mina was just helping me with planning. I really messed up on Valentine’s Day and I wanted to make today perfect.” His hand slid from your wrist and you slowly turned around.

You looked up into his face, meeting his earnest gaze. His face had taken on an adorable flush as he smiled at you, making your heart flutter in your chest. As easily as you wanted to give in to him and melt into his arms, something still confused you. “You said that I was just a friend, though.”

The smile fell from Kirishima’s face and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t mean it, though! I only said it because I didn’t know that was how you felt and I was afraid you’d laugh and correct me.” His gaze dropped from you as he hung his head shamefully. “The truth is, I’ve had a crush on you since we first met.” Your eyes widened, a smile spreading across your lips until you laughed.

His eyes snapped back to you, reflecting his confusion as he smiled hesitantly. “Kirishima, we really are a couple of idiots.” You smiled widely at him, feeling all of your hurt and doubt fall away in an instant. “I’ve had a crush on you since then, too.” Kirishima’s smile spread wide across his face, completely dazzling you.

Reaching for your hand, he led you back to the picnic blanket and he sat down, coaxing you to sit with him. “Then, this could be our first date? I put a lot of work into it.” You giggled softly, nodding, and moved to sit with him. Instead of landing on the blanket, however, Kirishima’s hands maneuvered you so that you sat on his lap. A soft blush crept across your cheeks as you looked up at his face, noticing that he had a matching one.

Kirishima seemed to be doing his best not to be overwhelmed as he reached for the nearby cooler. “I’m not really that great at doing stuff in the kitchen, but I figured I could at least manage these.” You watched eagerly as he pulled out a small container from the cooler and popped the lid, bringing it closer for you to see inside.

A small gasp escaped you as your gaze took in the sight of chocolate covered strawberries. You had to hold back a giggle, not wanting to hurt his feelings since you knew how hard he must have worked at making them. They were… messy. The chocolate was lumpy and there were multiple fingerprints on several of them. However, each imperfection was exactly what made them perfect to you.

When you were quiet for too long, Kirishima cleared his throat. “I, uh, wanted to make it up to you, but I didn’t dare try to make homemade chocolates. There’s no way I have the skills for that. Sorry if they’re weird.” He scratched his cheek a bit sheepishly and you stared up at his blushing face. He seemed like he couldn’t quite meet your gaze in his embarrassed state.

A mischievous smirk lifted the corner of your lips as you stared at him. “Oh, thank you, Kirishima. You’re such a great friend.” His eyes widened and his jaw fell slack as his gaze finally found yours. You laughed as he remained speechless. “I’m only teasing! These are absolutely perfect. I love them.” Lifting one out of the container, you bit into it and strawberry’s juices flooded your mouth, mingling with the sweetness of the chocolate.

You held up the rest of the strawberry to Kirishima, offering to feed it to him. He took your offer, his arms wrapping lightly around your waist. Once he finished chewing and swallowed, he tightened his hold on you. “Y/L/N… please, be my girlfriend?” Your hands found his arms, caressing your thumbs over his skin.

Turning in his lap, you reached your arms around his neck and drew him closer. “Of course, I will.” Your lips whispered over his before you kissed him deeply. It barely took a moment before he was kissing you back and the world around you disappeared.

You really were going to have to thank Mina later.

[random-mha-thoughts]

Fool (Kirishima x Reader)

Pairing: Kirishima x Reader

Genre: Angst

Inspo: “Twit” by HwaSa

Summary: You’re facing some conflicting feelings about your boyfriend Kirishima, and you’re guilty about them.

Word count: 1,950

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​  

a/n: First official Kiri post!  And it’s really depressing. And kinda messy.

Ok this was difficult to write. It hurted. Kind of a lot.

I had a block writing this because I was probably trying to reject all this hurt that I’m trying to inflict on this beautiful boy. He doesn’t deserve any of this, I’m sorry sharkbaby :(  So apologies if it’s not up to the same standard as everything else I write, something in me was just rejecting any angst towards Kiri and it threw me off my game.

Even with my large headphones on, I can feel his loving gaze on the back of my head as he lays on my bed, a love-struck grin on his face.

It's annoying.  Doesn't he have something better to do than watch me?

Kirishima gets up and stands behind me, sliding my headphones off and placing them on the desk before wrapping his arms around me.  "Babe, when are you gonna finish?  I wanna watch a movie with you."

The musky scent that used to weaken me tickles my nose.  "Kiri, didn't Mina ask you to go out with them tonight?" I ask lazily, trying to hide my strained irritation.

"She did, but I'd rather be with you, babe."  His arms wrap tighter around my shoulders.  "I'd miss my beautiful angel."

I grimace to myself.  "But don't you want to have some time away from me?  We see each other almost all the time, you deserve to be with your friends for once.  They probably want to see you."

"It wouldn't be manly of me to leave you by yourself on a Friday night.  I can be with them another time," he places a kiss on the side of my head.

That's not true.  Kirishima's been blowing off his friends for the past month.  It's great that he wants to give me all his attention, but it's gotten worse.  My hand clenches around the my pen unconsciously.

"I even brought big bag of chips for us to share!"  He walks over to my bed and I hear the crinkling plastic.  "I've been waiting all week for us to chill together!  Especially after all the training Aizawa put us through."

Oh, Kiri.  I can't knock him for being incredibly sweet.  He's certainly putting his entire heart into the relationship.  I turn my music off and put my books away.  "Alright, I'm finished."  Slowly walking towards the bed, he opens my laptop excitedly.  I lift the covers to slip in next to him.

He's scrolling through the options.  "Hmm, I'm down for anything, but what do you wanna watch?"

"Just put anything on."  I try to sound more enthusiastic to hiding the lifeless tone of my voice.

After a bit of back and forth, he finally puts on an action movie for us to watch.  Though I'd suggested it for us to watch since I know it's Kirishima's favorite, I wasn't too interested in it.  Although, watching the male protagonist makes me guilty.  My boyfriend sits next to me, but I'm thinking about being dominated by a stronger man.

I think Mina secretly hates me.  She's become less energetic whenever I talk to our group of friends.  At lunch, she glares daggers as Kirishima digs himself into me, flickering back and forth between the two of us.  I choose to focus on my phone while my boyfriend talks to Bakugou, his hand permanently circled around my waist like I'm a precious suitcase.  Sometimes, he'll rest his head on my shoulder, not tearing his eyes away from the conversation, telling me he's still thinking of me even when he's not looking right at me.

It's suffocating.

Between Mina's watchful eyes and Kirishima's grip on me, I never realized how much I want to disappear.  I want to tell her it's not my fault her best friend wants to spend every waking moment with me.  I'd love for her to take him off my hands for a day.

My only solace is Bakugou.  Funnily enough, I love how he's not giving me the time of day.  Not in a mean way, he just doesn't talk to me much since he's Kirishima's best friend.  But it feels like that's exactly what I desire, someone who purposely ignores me sometimes, someone who give me space to breathe, someone who can function properly without me.  He's a man who's a pillar of independence and power, someone who can take charge.  Someone who I'd love to take charge of me for once.

But as much as I could pine for Bakugou, he's not for me either.  There's no substance, no feeling there.  Us being together would be like an arranged marriage.  In theory, our personalities and desires are compatible, but the absence of any chemistry between us would make our relationship hollow.  Besides, Bakugou wouldn't betray his best friend like that, he has morals even if he doesn't have a quiet setting.

"I'm sure we'll do fine on the midterms," Kirishima squeezes his arm around me.  "Sharkbabe can review with me.  I'll need the smartest person to help since I'm not the best at studying."

His compliments used to fill me with warmth, building my confidence with his praises.  Now it feels like he's an overbearing parent trying to brag about their just-average child to their friends.  "Maybe we can all study together.  The more the merrier, right?"

"You always have great ideas, babe."  When Kirishima nuzzles his head further into my neck and I try not to stiffen visibly, the smug look on Bakugou's face tells me he noticed it.  I playfully glare at him and he relaxes into a half-smile, a sign that he understands what I feel.

As Kirishima kisses my cheek and goes on about how great I am, there's a cold sinking sensation in my chest.  How can I be so great when I'm the one making you seem so lonely?

After class, I sit in the classroom, just wanting to be alone with my thoughts.  My low energy doesn't put me in the mood to train or even walk to the dorms.  Kirishima had surprised me with a cute box of chocolate for our 100 day anniversary that I'd forgotten about.  Actually, it's more like I never cared enough to count how many days we've been a couple.

The box stares back at me, a reminder of how much better and more my boyfriend care than I do.  How much more he loves me than I love him.  It seems more and more apparent that he's the sole person in this relationship.  My hand curls around my red shame.  Why does he have no problem showering me in affection when it's so obvious that I don't reciprocate it back?

Am I flawed?  Why can't I appreciate being spoiled by such an amazing guy?  Doesn't everyone want to feel loved like this?

Did I...make him like this?

He's been so attentive, paying attention to everything I do and adjusting my day around it.  He always places my favorite drink on my desk before class every morning, he sometimes get lunch for me because he knows my favorite foods, he brings my favorite flavor of ice cream to eat on our breaks together.  But I don't know anything about him, I never did anything like that to him.  And whenever I tell him to stop out of guilt, he smiles and says, "It's manly to take care of the people you love."

I groan out to myself.  I want to love him, but all his affection is smothering.  And that's the fault in me.  I'd hate for him to be trying so hard just so I can give some of it back to him.  I just wish he would stopping trying and get angry for once.

"Kiri, I want to be left alone.  Please."  I face away from him, laying on my side so I can't see him.

"Babe, you've been distant for a few days."  The worry lacing his words nauseates me.  "Talk to me, I want you to feel better."

"Talking about it won't help, I just don't want to be around anyone," I try to persuade him to leave.  "Please go."

His silence almost fools me into think he's listened to me, but I feel the bed sink behind me.  "I see you're going through something," his soft tone resounds close to me.  "I just want you to know that I'm here for you, I'll do anything to help."

And that's when I know I can't take it anymore.

I sit up and throw the blanket off of me.  "You'll do anything, but you won't shut up and leave when I ask," I snap, getting up and walking to the other side of the room.  I refuse to look at him and his stupid, caring face.

"Sometimes, all you need is some company, I wouldn't want to be alone suffering."  He's confused, but still kind.  He still doesn't get it.

I whip around to face him.  "Funny, because from where I stand, you're pretty lonely, you just don't realize it or you're just fooling yourself."

Pure shock paints his features at my sudden outburst.  "Wha-"

"Do you really not see the problem between us?" I laugh bitterly, heat rising inside me.  "You're the only person who's actually putting effort into this relationship.  Actually, you might even be putting too much!"  When he still stares blankly at me, I continue, "I know you've realized that I don't pay you any attention, I don't do anything for you.  But you're not bothered by it, you don't even get mad about it!"

Kirishima rubs the back of his scarlet hair.  "I figured you're just the type who can't express your affections well.  I'm totally fine with just giving you everything because that's the kind of guy I am."

I bite my lip, about to burst.  "Wow.  You must be an idiot."

His jaw flies open, hurt mixed in his eyes, but I can't stop now.

"You're okay with being treated like trash when you could have anyone else.  You're such a masochist for letting someone mistreat you when there are so many other people who are so much better for you and will love you back, but you want the one person who doesn't care.  Or maybe you're some stupid, ignorant idiot who never even saw it in the first place because you're love-blind."

Though there's a weight lifted off my chest, I feel hollow.  I've ripped an extremely stubborn band-aid off and the sting still remains.  He doesn't even know how to look at me, but I can see the cogs turning in his mind as he processes my words.  My heart beats as I wait for some sort of reaction, the aftermath of my confession high climbing down now.

I watch as the initial shock and hurt slowly morphs into anger as his fists clench and slightly harden with his quirk.  "Maybe you're right," he nods, a new resolve present.  "I do deserve someone better.  And when I find them, I won't misread them like I did to you.  I'll remember this."  And he turns around and leaves quietly, not even slamming the door behind him.

The silence makes my ears buzz low, my body starting to shake slightly.  I don't know what I was expecting, maybe more screaming?  A bigger fight?  One of us to end up crying?  It felt easy somehow.  The exchange didn't last 2 minutes and it was already over.

I want to say that I regret lashing out like that.  More astonishing to me is that I don't.  I just broke up with someone, I should feel some degree of pain or sadness.  Sure, it's bittersweet: somewhere deep down, I'm sure I'll miss some of his doting and his kind gestures, but I'm more relieved that he'll find someone better instead of being tied down by someone like me who won't - or can't - do anything for him.

The anger and confusion that rage within me isn't towards losing a relationship.   I reach a sobering conclusion: A bird does not make a barren tree any less barren; once it flies away it's back to being a lonely, barren tree.

[nanamicide]

Red Butterflies - chapter 3

Here is the update, even if I still don’t think anyone is reading this fic here.

Read on AO3 

Juzo Sakakura was sitting on a chair, watching his friend pacing around the room. This was quite an usual occurrence, but this time, Kyosuke seemed more nervous than he usually was. He kept staring at him for a few more minutes, until the white-haired man returned his glance. Then, Juzo lowered his gaze and stared at his hands. Dammit, he thought, he knows exactly how I feel about him but I’m still acting as if I were supposed to hide it – as if he hadn’t told me that it was okay and he did return my feelings, but that I just had to be patient. On top of that, I’m just sitting here, in silence, when I know damn well that something is bothering him. It’s both because of and thanks to me that he’s in this position, but I’m still useless. I really don’t deserve to be his right-hand man, especially not when I’m acting like a silly school boy with a crush on the popular guy. I need to snap out of it.

He did eventually snap out of it, but as always, it was a second too late. Gekkogahara-san, their former classmate, had already made her way into the office. Kyosuke gestured for her to come closer, having her sit across from him, and right next to Juzo. As every morning, it was also Kyosuke who started the conversation going, while Juzo just sat there silently, cursing himself for not being more assertive in his presence and when he needed him:

“How was Kamukura-kun this morning?”

The question remained up in the air for a few more seconds than usual, as if Gekkogahara-san was thinking about what to say. Juzo was once again about to speak when she began typing. The voice of the avatar she used to communicate soon filled the room:

“I think we’ve finally begun to make progress. Kamukura-kun had a very light dream last night, but he didn’t want me to tell you about it. From what I understand, it’s related to video games. He said he saw a pixelated spaceship. There’s only one problem though, he said he doesn’t want to play video games again today. You know, the usual complaint about how boring it all is. Except he’s never made such a request about anything else you’ve had him do over the past year, so there has to be something going on.”

“Thank you, Gekkogahara-san. Was there anything else?”

“Well, I have a request, you know, as your former classmate.” Juzo noticed that she made her avatar, Usami, wink at Kyosuke. Even though she was constantly hiding behind that pink rabbit, he almost envied the confidence she’d gained through it.

“What would that be?”

“Don’t ask Kamukura-kun to play video games—”

“But you said they’re the reason for the recent progress.”

“If you force it on him, you’ll ruin that progress,” Usami’s high-pitched but soft voice explained. “I am as excited as you to see that Kamukura-kun may be secretly experiencing something other than boredom, but I don’t want to rush it. We don’t know what any of it means yet. It could be dangerous.”

Juzo threw a quick glance at Kyosuke, who seemed slightly annoyed with what he’d just heard. Despite that, the white-haired man complied, and told Gekkogahara-san that he would see her tomorrow morning at the usual time. And just like that, their former classmate was gone. It was just the two of them again. Juzo stared at one of the immaculately white walls of the office until he finally decided to speak:

“Are you going to listen to her?”

“She knows better, doesn’t she?”

“But you said that when the Kamukura ordeal would be taken care of we could finally—”

“Enough, Juzo,” Kyosuke snapped. “While it’s true that intend to step down from the position of chairman and to give it back to Kirigiri-san so that I can focus on my….” He paused, swallowing loudly, as if what he were about to say was wrong. “Personal matters, it doesn’t mean that I want to rush any of this. It would be bad if I handed this back to Kirigiri-san without making sure everything has been thoroughly dealt with. Kamukura-kun may not be a threat now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t become one in the future. You know how Kirigiri-san is. He lacks the strength of a true leader. I care too much about this academy to leave it before fully fixing it.”

Juzo’s heart sank as he heard his words. He felt like screaming at him, only to ask him if cared about anything other than that damn academy, and if he even cared about him. He wanted to tell him that they should forget about this academy, but he did none of it. Instead, he just nodded and went back to staring at the wall. He was tired of constantly having to put on this tough guy act, as if nothing affected him, but he had to. He was the Former Ultimate Boxer; the epitome of manliness. He couldn’t afford to let his feelings get the best of him. It had saved them against Enoshima, but it wouldn’t save them again. The only problem was that ever since he had confessed to Kyosuke, it had become harder for him to repress it.

“Very well, what can I do to help?”

Kyosuke slowly paced towards one of the shelves, pulling a file from it. It was labelled ‘Class 77’ and contained the profiles of all the students from that class, as well as Yukizome Chisa’s, their homeroom teacher. He placed the file on the desk and started flipping through it, and stopped on one page.

“This is Nanami Chiaki,” he spoke. “She’s the Ultimate Gamer. From what I have gathered from Matsuda’s notes on the Kamukura project, Hajime Hinata, Kamukura-kun’s vessel, used to be very close to her.” He tapped a finger on her picture, pointing at the hairclip. “I think that’s the spaceship Gekkogahara-san was talking about.”

“Why didn’t you tell her?”

“Because, I plan on going against what she said,” he whispered, now pointing towards the door and making Juzo understand that it was possible their former classmate was spying on them. He didn’t think she was the type to do that, but he knew how careful Munakata-kun was. “I will make sure they keep playing together, even today. But I need you to find out what game that hairclip comes from.”

Juzo wanted to ask him why, or how to go about it, but decided against it. He finally had a good opportunity to impress him again, and he wasn’t going to let it pass. After almost a year of constantly screwing up, he was grateful he had been given a simple enough task. He stood up, facing Kyosuke and lowering his gaze so as to stare in his deep blue eyes.

“I will bring that information to you before the end of the day,” he promised.

“Just don’t be reckless, I don’t want Gekkogahara-san to figure us out.”

Juzo gave his friend a quick nod, and stepped out of the office. In the hallway, he looked out the window. The sun was shining bright, bringing him that extra hope he needed to carry on with his task.

 XXXXXXX

The bell rang, letting everyone know that the day was over. Chiaki stood up and waved goodbye to her classmates as she walked out the door. She stepped outside of the building, smiling as she felt the sunlight hit her pale skin. There was something else she wanted to do today: go home and play video games with Izukura. Despite the fact he’d been calling the games boring the entire time they were playing, she had a feeling that he would be online again tonight, and that she would finally get to beat him and show him that video games were fun. She wasn’t too sure why, but even though she didn’t know anything about the person hiding behind that username, she was intrigued by them. If she were entirely honest, part of her couldn’t believe that they were actually bored last night. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but she felt as though it was all an act. No one around her had ever been bored playing video games after all, not even her most inexperienced classmates.

As she was thinking about which games they would play tonight, she bumped into someone. Chiaki absentmindedly apologized before looking up at the person. All she saw was a mass of muscles, tan skin, and short, wavy green-ish hair. She quickly realized that she’d bumped into Juzo Sakakura-san, the headmaster’s right hand man. At that moment, she almost envied Komaeda-kun’s luck. This would have never happened to him.

“Are you okay?” Chiaki’s eyes widened, as she processed these words. Those were exactly the first words Hinata-kun had exchanged with her when they had first met. In spite of what she had promised herself yesterday, the memories that were suddenly flowing back made her upset.

“Yes, I should have watched where I was going. I’m really sorry,” she replied, walking away as quickly as possible. She didn’t want to be here. The sky was starting to turn a bright orange, just like it had on that evening. The setting was so similar that it was unbearable.

“Wait, you’re Chiaki Nanami, the Ultimate Gamer, right?” She nodded, still unable to face him. “This may be a weird question,” he continued, “but I remember playing the game your hairpin is from as a teenager but I can’t remember its na—”

At that point, Chiaki’s brain tuned out. Why was he asking her about Gala Omega? Why did this moment seem to mirror her first encounter with Hinata-kun? Why was one of the most important members of the academy’s staff so interested in her all of a sudden? Had she really bumped into him, or had he been standing in her way so this would happen?  

“Nanami-san, are you okay?”

“I’m sorry, Sakakura-san, what was the question?”

“What’s the name of the game this is from,” he replied, pointing at her hairclip.

She tried to speak, but no sound came out of her mouth. The air she had inhaled in order to speak seemed to be stuck in her throat, forming a lump that made breathing harder than it had ever been. Chiaki wasn’t sure what was happening to her. She could faintly hear Sakakura-san calling her name, but the world around her seemed to be spinning. She dug her fingernails into her palms, as though she were trying to anchor herself to something. Her vision became blurry and, as she lost her balance, she was surprised not to crash onto the solid concrete beneath her. Instead, she felt something warm. A few seconds later, everything around her turned black. The last things she remembered were thinking about how much she wished she’d never met Hinata-kun, and hearing Sakakura-san muttering something about messing up.

 XXXXXXX

Juzo cursed himself as Nanami-san’s small frame collided with his arms. He had no idea what had just happened, but he got that familiar feeling that always occurred after botching whatever mission Munakata-kun had assigned him. Yet, he knew it wasn’t too late. With all the buzzing from the students of the academy walking back to their dorms, his conversation with Nanami-san, and her eventually fainting had seemingly gone unnoticed. That meant he still had time to take her to the nurse’s office without being questioned by any of his former classmates. If he were lucky enough, Mikan Tsumiki’s shift would have started by the time he would reach the office. The Ultimate Nurse definitely lacked the confidence to go against orders, or to ask any type of question to anyone who gave them to her. It would be easy enough to ask her to hide this from others. Having a more concrete picture of what he was supposed to do now, Juzo rushed to his destination.

He eventually reached the nurse’s office, after what had felt like hours – though in reality, he knew it’d only been a few minutes. He had been on edge the entire time, scanning his surroundings before every step to ensure that he wouldn’t run into Gekkogahara-san, or worse, Yukizome-san. While it was the former that Munakata-kun had asked him to keep this a secret from, Juzo knew that he could always make up a story explaining why he had been with Nanami-san when she passed out if he saw her. That would probably stop her from being too suspicious or reporting anything to their boss. Besides, it was unlikely that she would even recognize Nanami-san, or know who she was. She hadn’t even mentioned her in her report to Munakata-kun. This would be okay. Yukizome-san, however, was too close to Munakata-kun to hide anything from him. She was still, even though he knew the other man had been avoiding her, his girlfriend, and she still called him every night. Juzo knew this because he usually was around when his crush’s phone would ring, and hearing him pick up and talk to her always made his stomach turn. He used to be able to deal with their relationship, but now that Munakata-kun knew how he felt and seemed to reciprocate, things were different.

Juzo gently opened the door to the nurse’s office without knocking, taking a glance inside. Once again, he ruined everything.

“Fuck,” he breathed, just loud enough for the head of blue hair that was inside the office to turn towards him.

“Wh-what happened to Nanami-san?” Tsumiki-san asked, rushing towards him.

Having lost all his composure after seeing Gekkogahara-san in the room, Juzo was unable to lie. “We were talking and she suddenly passed out,” he mumbled before pausing. The Ultimate Nurse had him lay the young girl on one of the beds. “It may be that she’s not eat—”  

“Well,” Usami’s voice chimed in, “this may be nerdview, but maybe whatever you were talking to her about stressed her out. You’re one of the higher-ups, it would make sense. I’ll do a little check-up when she comes to. Munakata-kun is waiting for you, anyway.”

“…Really?” Juzo, hesitated. He wanted to tell Gekkogahara-san that she was wrong, but he knew it was pointless. Besides, despite the fact she was communicating via her avatar, he felt like she knew something already. If she didn’t, she would have asked him what he had been talking to Nanami-san about. Staying here and protesting would only make things worse, so it was better to comply. Things were already bad enough as they were, but there was still a chance that Munakata-kun would never hear about this. “I’ll go then. Thank you.”

[irrlicht-ghostfront]

all the tiny things.

Castiel lied to you. But why? He must have a job; where else would the money come from? You know the answer, you’re sure you do, but you don’t want to.

It's your fault, isn't it?

***************

When you met him years and years ago; you thought he was a small, petite man, the way he sat there by himself in the corner booth. Certainly, he didn’t look like anyone you’d become friends with or would even pay any mind. But, his booth was the only one not crowded, so you and your friends walk over to him and share the booth with him.

Your opinion doesn’t really change through the night; even his demeanour seems small and petite. Towards the end of it, he ask if he could join your outings again and you’re drunk enough not to care, so you agree. After all, he hardly disturbs you, right? He stands up then, ready to leave and you look at him – you realise he’s not small and petite, but that his shoulders are broad and that he is a tall man. You wonder why he looked so tiny while sitting by himself. You don’t wonder long, of course, but still – it’s a thought that crossed your mind.

It’s a thought that comes back now, when he stands in front of you. His words ring in your ears still, and yet you barely registered them. Something’s wrong, you know it, but you don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell you.

“I love you.”

Why say that? It’s neither the place nor the time, and Castiel’s not someone who’d try to get with someone’s boyfriend. The way he said it, it feels more like an excuse. But why would he need an excuse for something? Does he need one so that you leave him alone? Something’s wrong. Something’s really wrong, but you don’t know what it is, and you need to fix it. So you grab him tight and pull him in your arms. He deflates immediately, and you know he’s given up.

You take him home.

He tells you what happened in small, hushed tones. You wish he’d come to you sooner, but at least he’s here now. It’s gonna be hard, supporting two people with your salary, but you’re willing to try. He needs your help, and he’s clearly in no state to help himself at the moment. You get him in the tiny guest-room and get him into bed. You’ll make soup for him tomorrow, and then you’re gonna gradually make him feel better. It’s a quiet promise you make to yourself, because you’re not sure Castiel could handle that at the moment, so you tell him to sleep. He looks so tiny, again and you wonder.

It’s a bit rough, at first. Castiel doesn’t want to eat any more than the bare minimum, even though he really ought to, he hasn’t really enjoyed the shower yet and never turns on any sort of light, resulting in various bruises all across his body; and frankly, you’re at a loss.

“He doesn’t want to eat anything, Sammy”, you groan in the phone. “My food tastes good, right?” Sam’s quiet on the other end of the line and you just start to get irritated. “Uh... did you adopt a fussy baby or something?” You roll your eyes. “No. I’m talking ‘bout Castiel, who else?” And there is that damn pause yet again. Sam doesn’t need such long pauses to think, for god’s sake! “Uh, why, uh, why would you feed Castiel?” Oh.

So you explain and slap yourself mentally. It’s not like that’s public knowledge. Shit.

Sam tells you Castiel probably needs to get used to this. He needs to get used to kindness and also learning to accept it. So you should have patience and “you’re doing a good thing, Dean” blah-blah. After that conversation, however, Castiel starts to eat. It really seems like a call to Sam fixes things. You should’ve done that a lot sooner. You’re just about able to withhold a huff. After all, Castiel acts like a little fawn and you wouldn’t want to scare him away with your manliness.  

It gets better over time. Castiel still looks tiny to you, but you’re not so sure how to change that. You think maybe a new job would help with that, so you gently nudge him towards that. Also, to be honest, having some more money wouldn’t be that bad. Everything’s getting a bit tight as of late. So, one evening, you decide to call Sam. He’ll know what to do – and so far he’s the only one who partly knows what happened.

“It’s been four months now”, Sam says. “He still hasn’t found anything?” You just hum. That sounds like an accusation. This whole dilemma isn’t really Castiel’s fault, is it? “It’s not like that”, you say and Sam huffs. “Really, Dean? You still wanna shield him from the world?” “Now, c’mon, Sammy, that’s hardly fair –“. “So what? Money’s not getting tight?” You bite your lip. “Well, yes, it’s kinda tight, but – “. Sam cuts you off. “Dean, he needs to contribute something, don’t you think? You’re basically a hotel by now, a free one too!” Maybe calling Sam hadn’t been the best idea. “It’s not his fault, Sam. Sorry to bother you.” You hang up and grab your hair. Son of a bitch. The worst part is, you’re not sure if Sam isn’t secretly right. Damn it, you wanted him to solve your problem, not add onto it! What are you supposed to do now? You squeeze your eyes shut. Castiel can’t know of this. You know he isn’t feeling well, and knowing this would only make it worse.

He tells you about every interview he has, and since he never mentions them again, you know how they turned out. You offer him to help look over his applications, but he always declines. You wonder if there is something embarrassing on it, but then – you can’t imagine. Castiel is nice and ordinary – he’s not the type of guy who’d ever done something embarrassing. Not that it would be a pleasant thing: but almost freezing to death on their trip is probably the most exciting thing that ever happened to him.

You bite your lip. You almost let the guy die, and here you are, calling it exciting.

“I’m gonna crash at Lisa’s place”, you tell him. You’re about to meet with your friends. You tried to coax him to go, but he doesn’t want to. He’s been absent the last few times, and Charlie and Garth have been asking. So you just told them Castiel’s probably busy. You feel like Castiel needs to tell them himself. It’s not your place. “Okay”, he says in a small tone and you hate it. You want him to speak up for himself; you want him to stand up!

But you don’t know how to breach that. So you swallow the words you want to say and turn around to leave. Maybe you should confide in Lisa. Maybe she’ll know what to do, but – you don’t know if she even likes Castiel. It’s not like she dislikes him, but... you sigh. Some small part of you damns Castiel. If he’d just kept his job, you wouldn’t be in this awkward situation right now. You shake your head in disgust.

It’s not his fault.

And you can’t make it his fault.

You try to drink your worries away. Lisa cuts you off two hours in. One hour later, she takes you home. You feel like utter shit, and Sam’s glances surely didn’t fucking help. She’s worried, she says. You scoff. She doesn’t need to worry about you. You have a job, and a girlfriend, and a home and friends and... and...

Castiel has nothing of that.

You stop dead in your tracks.

They’re your friends, Dean.

So... Castiel doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t have a friend, he doesn’t have a home and he doesn’t have a boyfriend.

I love you.

You turn to Lisa and she stares up at you, clearly worried. You hug her and her warmth seeps through you.  “Hey, Lis.” She moves her head against your chest. “One should help a friend in need, no matter how long it takes, right?” She takes a step back. “Yes”, she says, all sincere. “Is everything okay?” You smile. She would help you, you know that. You shake her head. “I’m tired. Let’s go to sleep.” She nods and holds your hand. It’s a nice feeling and briefly, you think about a lonely Castiel, sitting on the couch, all alone. You push the thought away.

It’s about two weeks later, and you been pondering over your bank account for hours now. Charlie’s birthday is coming up, but you can’t really afford to buy her anything. All you can think of gifting her has the label Harry Potter or Star Wars on it, and that’s just too expensive. You almost hurled your phone away when you looked up the price of a nice Dice-set. So you call Sam. So stupid.

“I’m kinda running tight, Sammy”, you say through your teeth. “I know it’s her birthday, but I just can’t, okay? Can’t you buy something, and I pitch in, or whatever?” Sam huffs. “I know how you could’ve saved up some money for her gift.” You grind your jaw. “So, what do you want me to do? I’m just supposed to tell him to go away?! C’mon, that’s just heartless, don’t cha think?” “No, Dean, at this point I think it’s to be expected. He’s abusing your hospitality, Dean! Is he even looking for employment?” You breathe heavily through your nose. “Yes, yes he is! It’s not his fault he only gets rejection letters!” Sam cackles. “Why are you still protecting him? Is there something going on Lisa should be aware of?” That’s going too far. Without another word you hang up and turn your phone off. The pure assumption…!

You haven’t turned your phone back on yet. You know it’s probably swarming with messages from Sam by now, but you don’t want to deal with that. More than that, you don’t want Castiel to notice. So when he enters the kitchen the following day, you smile at him, like always. He doesn’t really smile back like he usually does. Damn, perhaps your worry his showing. You’re hoping he won’t be worrying over this and just believes you spent a long night sexting Lisa. “I’m going to go to Sam’s this evening” you tell him, “is that okay?” He just hums slightly and bites into his toast. You look at him; again looking so small and petite. You want to yell at him, tell him to sit straight, stand with all his height.  But you don’t know how to do that. You can’t think of a single reason of why he should sit straight other than the fact that he should.

You’re great, Cass, you think, I only wish I knew how to tell you that.

You just show up at Sam’s. You don’t even know if he’s home. You ring the bell, and he opens. For a moment, you both just stand there, none of you saying a word. Then you push past him and go inside. It’s not exactly warm out here in the wind. He doesn’t protest and just closes the door again. You shrug your jacket off and just stand there, neither of you wanting to start.

But Sam, being Sam, comes through: “I’m sorry, Dean. What I said, that… that was uncalled for.” You nod slightly, willing him to continue. “Dean, it’s just... I’m worried, okay? I know Castiel’s a good guy and all that, but he’s been living off of you for more than four months now, right? And yes, I know it can be hard to get a job. But you realise it can’t go on like this, right?” You sigh deeply and let your shoulders sag. Yes, you know. Sam was only worried. And you can’t deny that you haven’t wondered yourself. You know Castiel is trying. But Sam’s right, too: it can’t go on like this forever. Castiel needs a job, so he can help pay the bills. You don’t really mind him living with you, but money is really running tight at the moment. “Yeah”, you say finally, falling onto the couch. “I don’t know what to do, Sammy. He tries, he tries so fucking hard, how can I give him more grief?” Sam hands you a beer and sits next to you. “Let me help”, he says. “I can look over his resume. Often it’s the phrasing that helps. I mean, we could at least offer it to him.” You nod, and you don’t tell Sam that you already offered that, and that Castiel declined. Maybe he’ll allow Sam to look.

You end up staying the night. Sam’s couch is incredible uncomfortable, but it’s better than a random ditch on the road. You go straight to work from here and you hope Castiel is doing fine.

“Dean, I... I have a job”, he tells you the next day and his voice sounds weird, but you barely notice. You simply beam at him. “Cass, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you; I know how hard it’s been.” You get up and hug him tightly; he even hugs you back. It feels faint, but you don’t really notice that at this point. “So, where you’re working at?” You ask him as you release him from your hug. “It’s at the museum”, he answers you swiftly and continues, “I’m the night-guard.” You beam again and clap a hearty hand on his shoulder. “That’s great, Cass! Um... not to be forward, but do you think you could... help me pay the bills?” You feel a bit uncomfortable asking this right away, but it’s been gnawing at you.

He smiles and says yes.

It’s like he knew you were struggling. You hope that’s not true.

You smile brightly at him, and if you hadn’t been so in your own head at this time, you might’ve noticed.

You write a message to Sam right after this. You feel so proud.

What a fool you are.

You can’t help it; but when you watch Castiel get ready, pride swells in your chest. You’re trying so hard not to look, but it just looks so good, seeing him get ready for his all-new job. “Have fun!” You shout a bit too loudly and he looks at you, startled. The smile on your face hurts your cheeks, but you can’t stop. He smiles gingerly at you, before he disappears through the door.

You sink back into the couch and take a deep breath. It feels so good, knowing the dry period is finally over. With the money from Castiel’s job, everything’s back to normal now. Even Sam was happy about the news. You giggle a bit. It seems Castiel is better now. Last night, you heard him watch certain... films, so to say. That’s good. That means Castiel is back on the right track. And maybe he’ll stop being so tiny now, and will stand up straight.

Time passes. And with that passing time, something feels off. You can tell that Castiel is straining himself to look at you. You frown and wonder why. And even more so, it feels like he’s retreating somewhere. He never talks about his work, not even when you try and prompt him. You wonder if he’s got trouble at work. But you don’t know if it’s any of your business. And somehow, you want to trust him enough that he’d come to you if he needed to.

And then he stops looking at you completely. You don’t what’s wrong, but you don’t want to ask Sam about it. “Talk to him”, he’d say. Yeah, Sherlock thanks very much for that useless piece of crap advice. He takes a lot of walks outside now and you think that’s good. Sunshine and fresh air always help, right? They have to, because you don’t know what to do.

There’s a bruise on his face. He says it happened at work, he fell asleep and accidentally hit his head on the counter.  You simply nod, not believing him. You think that reaffirms your thoughts about him having trouble at work. “Okay”, you tell him. “Just be more careful next time, alright?” You wish he’d talk to you. You’re sure you could scare his bully away, if you only knew who that was. So you decide to take some behind-the-scene action. You could protect him, even without him asking. He would be happy about it later. He wasn’t alone anymore, now.

So, when he’s asleep, you call the museum. You just need a name, anything to go on. A man picks up and you mentally steel yourself. “Ah, hello. I’m calling because I had a question about one of your night guards. Castiel Novak? He started about three weeks ago, now.” The man asks you to hold a moment and seemingly types away at his computer. “Sir, there is no Castiel Novak employed with us currently.” You’re baffled. Why would Castiel lie to you? And where does he go when he goes to work? And more importantly, where does the money come from? “Oh. I’m sorry; I must have been mistaken, sorry.” The man tells you it’s no bother and you hang up.

Castiel lied to you.

But why?

He must have a job; where else would the money come from?

You know the answer, you’re sure you do, but you don’t want to.

Two days later, he has a fever. He didn’t seem sick before, so you’re even more worried. You want to take care of him, so you make him Mom’s Tomato-Rice-Soup. You help him eat it and whenever he warms up too much, you get some wet towels for him. Lisa wants to meet, as do your friends, but Castiel is a bit more important right now. You don’t want to leave him alone here.  His temperature doesn’t lower and worry gnaws way at you.

The fever gets worse, and you take him to the hospital. Castiel tries to protest, in a meek, tiny voice. You hate it. You hate it so much. You tell him a firm no and you feel him cry into your shoulder. You’re not sure he notices that. His body is so hot to the touch.

Three days he spends at the hospital. There are cuts on his chest, and they’re inflamed. Why didn’t he say something? Who did that to him? Why didn’t he take better care of himself? You could’ve helped. The doctors talk to you; and they confirm what you’ve known all along. Damn it all, you didn’t need money that badly. It should never have come to this.

He’s asleep every time you sit at his bed. You know he’s faking it. “I know you’re awake, Castiel.” To his credit, he doesn’t even flinch. You don’t know what to do. What do you do in this situation? You want to ask Sam, but you can’t. This thing is so private and Castiel feels so tiny, so fragile – you’re afraid you’re going to break him.

You don’t speak to him on the way home. He sits next to you, pale to the light outside. He looks even tinier than usual, and oh god, how much you hate it. It should have never come to this, but now it’s too late. The deed is done, and you’re afraid your friend is forever damaged, without you being able to fix him in any way or matter.

“Castiel”, you say after the door closes. “Tell me.”

Such a small order, and even to your ears, it sounds impossible to obey. Slowly, he lifts his gaze and looks at you. He’s even smaller than the first time you’ve seen him. How will you ever get him to stand up? It’s seems such an impossible task. “I wanted to be good”, he says toneless.

It’s a hollow voice that comes out of him and you take his phone from him. You browse through his last messages and you want to find all these people and hurt them for hurting him. How dare they? How dare they? “You should’ve told me” you say and you try your hardest to keep the anger out of your voice. It’s not for him, it’s for them, But if he hears it, he’ll think it’s his fault. “I wanted to be good”, he says again.

“You’ve always been good”, you say and you hug him. You don’t know what to do.

“I love you”, he says and you hug him tighter.

He hugs you back, but it doesn’t feel like a beginning.

It’s not enough.

And you’re not sure if it ever could be.

Later, when you’re lying in your bed, you hear a soft thump. You’re sure, later; you only hear it because you haven’t been asleep yet. You should have been, it’s after three in the morning and you have to get to work tomorrow – but you were thinking about skipping, because you two really need to talk. You wonder if Castiel knocked something over or – god forbid – if he hurt himself. So you get up and pad over to his room – it is his room now, after all this time, no longer the guest-room – and you open the door without much preamble.

It’s your fault, isn’t it?

You didn’t even know you kept a rope somewhere. You didn’t see him take a chair. But you should have.

So it’s your fault, isn’t it?

[odoroussavourssweet]

Mainstream Men’s Perfume Quick Takes

Smelled in the store, not on my skin; YMMV

So, these are from Sephora; not niche perfumes for fumeheads but things that normal human beings wear.  

Terre D’Hermes

Notes: orange, vetiver, pepper, grapefruit, cedar, patchouli, benzoin, pelargonium.

Obnoxious.  It’s a beige smell, kind of fatty, overly friendly and pushy.  I’m told it’s full of Iso E, which is basically “the thing malls smell like.”  It might also be the benzoin that gives it that “intrusive-extrovert” vibe.  Instant repulsion.

Terre D’Hermes Eau Intense Vetiver

Notes: vetiver, sichuan pepper, bergamot, lemon, grapefruit, olibanum, patchouli, amberwood

I have never smelled anything so evil. I thought I liked vetiver! This isn’t the “forest floor” aspect or the “refined gentleman” aspect but a musty, stinky, beige form of vetiver that just does not seem intended for humans to wear.

Tom Ford Grey Vetiver

Notes: vetiver, woods, oakmoss, grapefruit, orange blossom, nutmeg, orris root, sage, pimento, amber

This isn’t bad, but it’s a little odd.  It’s rooty (from the vetiver and orris) in a way that’s almost like carrots. It reads as a little dorky to me; it reminds me slightly of my indie-rocker art teacher with paint on his sleeves.

Tom Ford For Men

Notes: Ginger, lemon, tobacco, amber, orange, pepper, cedar, bergamot, basil, orange blossom, violet leaf, patchouli, oakmoss, vetiver, leather, cypriol

Smells dissolute, like a drug dealer. Someone you wouldn’t feel safe going home with.

Dior Homme

Notes: iris, cacao, leather, lavender, amber, oakmoss, bergamot, patchouli, sage.

This smells exactly like a dentist’s waiting room.

Dior Fahrenheit

Notes: leather, violet leaf, nutmeg, oakmoss, lavender, cedar, musk, chamomile, sandalwood, orange, amber, honeysuckle, patchouli, carnation, hawthorn, tonka, bergamot, jasmine, lemon, lily of the valley

This smells like black rubber. Exactly like black rubber. You know how an Equinox gym smells? That. It’s actually quite a comforting smell.  It screams “bro,” so judge accordingly whether that’s what you want.

Dior Sauvage

Notes: Ambroxan, bergamot, pepper, lavender, cedar, geranium, oakmoss, patchouli, labdanum, elemi

It’s fresh, cool, full of machismo, and a little crude. Now Smell This describes the bergamot as “abrasive”, which is about right; it’s fresh in a “goddamn it scrub harder! eliminate ALL contaminants!” shower gel way, which I find enjoyable though many don’t, and underneath that, the ambroxan offers sort of a warm skin-like “hey, remember I’m a naked man under my clothes” vibe. Want to smell like you’re too manly to have feelings? Here ya go.

YSL Y

Notes: Aldehydes, ambergris, bergamot, violet leaf, ginger, musk, mint, apple, sage, cedar, lemon, geranium, fir, pineapple, vetiver, incense

My notes say “This man is gay.”  

(Not polite of me, perhaps; of course gay men can smell however they like; but I was shopping for my husband and I was pretty confident Y would give the wrong impression.)

Versace Dylan Blue

Notes: ambroxan, bergamot, grapefruit, water, incense, patchouli, pepper, tonka bean, violet leaf, fig leaf, papyrus, saffron

My notes say “This man is gay and in show business.”

(Ok, that’s unfair of me. What I actually mean is that it’s a little ambery and fruity.)

Versace Pour Homme

Notes: Lemon, neroli, bergamot, tonka bean, hyacinth, clary sage, musk, rose, cedar, geranium, amber

I actually like this, at least compared to the other stuff in the store. It gives an impression of seriousness and elegance, reminiscent of classic cologne; plus it’s futuristic/chrome-and-blue/spaceship-esque in the way that perfume snobs hate but I kind of like. I could imagine it on Jean-Luc Picard.  

Versace L’Homme

Notes: Lemon, leather, carnation, oakmoss, cinnamon, bergamot, basil, musk, petitgrain, patchouli, sandalwood, vanilla, labdanum, rose, cedar, tonka bean, amber, jasmine

This is an Olympic athlete, in his underwear, on a space station.  (Maybe running laps on one of those centrifuge tracks.)  There’s a warmth there that I associate with skin and bodies, plus synthetic/futuristicness.

Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue Pour Homme

Notes: Water, grapefruit, juniper, orange, amberwood, musk

This is the ur-spaceship scent, and I <3 it. It is super clean, super synthetic, super Y2K-aesthetic. It has never been near a plant or an animal in its life and it makes zero pretense of it.  If you secretly wish you were made of slick, hard, shiny polymer resin instead of yielding flesh (Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That), you will enjoy Light Blue.

[your-hero-imagines]

Romantic headcanons for Kaminari, IIda and TetsuTetsu with shy and quiet but kind and patient (also quirkless) s/o please?

Hey Spam-Anon! :)

So I have to say I really got like 0 ideas for them even though I actually love those characters. Maybe a writer’s block? Haha. So it’s pretty short. :D

Here you go:

___________

Kaminari:

- Can be a real airhead sometimes and tends to do all kinds of stupid shit, which is why he’s really grateful that you don’t judge him and even call him cute all the time.

- He’s also struggling with his confidence, since he lost the past battles he fought, but your affirmation is more than enough to make him feel like the most loved person on this planet. You always being there to cheer at him and encourage him after a throwback makes him want to be a hero you can be proud of even more!

- The way you care for him after he fries his brain is too cute. This whole time, he’ll he very clingy and talk nonstop about how much he loves you, how beautiful you are and that he doesn’t deserve you, etc. Will be very embarassed afterwards, but never takes back the compliments.

- Since you’re a couple, he’s even more cheerful and overenergetic than usually. Tells everyone about you - he’s just so proud to call someone as amazing as you his s/o! Up to the point where he brags. :D

- Is really inexperienced himself (you’re his first partner tbh) and is just so happy about even the smallest signs of affection, like you kissing him on the cheek or running towards him to greet him with a hug. He’s in no rush, and he knows you’re hella shy, so you decide how fast and far you go in your relationship.

- Tries to be a real gentlemen. Would ruin his leather jacket for you just so you don’t get your feet dirty in a puddle, always runs past you to hold doors open for you, and so on. He always wants to pay for dinner or tickets even though you feel uncomfortable about it and want to pay your own stuff.

- On the Culture Festival, he persuaded the others of the band into playing your favourite song - just for you. He won’t force you into getting onto the tribune or yelling out your name to the public, because he knows you don’t like this much attention - but while playing, he’ll always keep eye contact and smirk happily, observing your reaction.

Iida:

- Expect this man to be very oblivious to your feelings, but he tries. He really tries.

- Since you’re pretty shy and modest, you often don’t speak up directly when you got a problem, so he tries to interpret your needs and wishes. Almost always ends up misunderstanding everything, but his reactions are always so fucking funny that you just can’t be mad.

- Lucky to him you’re so patient and understanding, because he really takes things slow in a relationship. It will be a really cute, innocent one where he freaks out even when you’re just holding hands and stuff. Hates himself for every unpure thought he has about you and randomly apologizes to you even without you knowing what’s going on.

- Doesn’t understand your kind of humor, most of the time the punchline gets completely over his head. Will laugh anyway to make you feel good about yourself.

- This man is the best cook ever. Drowns you in selfmade sweets and snacks when you’re at his place and enjoys cooking together with you.

- Holidays, especially Valentine’s Day are very important to him, since he expects much of himself to treat you even more on these days. Always has a plan and completely overworks himself, trying to do something special to you. Because of his blunt attitude he’s not really the king when it comes to romance, but his effort makes up for it.

- Will always keep track of everything you do. He won’t ever force you to act according to his ideals, but he cares for your well-being. “Did you eat/drink enough?” “I told you you don’t need to help any single person!” “Why not having some time for yourself?”

- You also got yourself the best Tutor. Loves to train with you or studying together, dreaming about how the two of you will live as adults.

- He understands that you’re shy and would never force you to talk more. Will lecture anyone who says shit like “Open up a bit” or “Stop being so quiet”. When you’re sad or upset, he usually just puts his arm around you so you can focus on his breath or heartbeat to calm down. This goes on for as long as you want, with him just gently smiling at you. If you wanna talk, he’s always there.

- He loves this kind and innocent character of yours. To him, it’s something worth protecting. When looking at you, he sees the perfect partner to raise kids with. Secretly even plans it but would never admit this early - even he has some tact.

TetsuTetsu:

- Is actually pretty self-conscious but tries to hide it through acting really extroverted and energetic. Always makes some tests of courage or shows off how strong he is to impress you - and you’ll always tell him how amazing he is, making him very happy. “We both are, babe!”

- Secretly believes in soulmates and now that he knows you thinks he found his. Thinks love can make people better persons and tries to overcome his own errors to be a better partner for you.

- Loves the thought of being your knight in shining armor (or well, at least his skin) to come and save his quirkless s/o. Tries to keep you out of trouble, but will help you with every little thing and acts like it’s something big. Killing this bug? No problem! Opening this jar? Of course, my dear!

- Carries you everywhere. You literally would never have to walk again if you wanted to. If you walk the streets while holding hands, it’s impossible to walk more than a few steps straight without him engaging into bonecrushing hugs and loving smooches.

- You can call him at any time of the day/night and he’ll be at your house with your favourite music, film and chocolate, ready to cheer you up or just being close to you.

- Is into watching sad or romantic movies together with you and cries even more than you do.

- Enjoys long phone calls where he just tells you how his day went and how he missed you. Most of the time it’s him talking because you’re just too good a listener, but sometimes you just never hang up and both of you do stuff like listening to music or read while still being on the phone. It’s just making him happy to know that like this, somehow you’re with him, no matter how far away you are. True love knows no distance!

- In front of his friends he’ll act all strong and does what he defines as “manly”, but when the two of you are alone he’s the biggest softie ever. You’ll see a whole new side of him, learning about secrets like that he actually loves writing poems and such. Afterwards, he just feels so relieved and happy to have someone to share those things with without being judged, that he showes his affection to you out in the public without being ashamed. “Being there for your partner is the manliest thing you can do!”

[writers-leir]

prince!jeonghan

prince!jeonghan

aka part two of prince!vernon

should probably be named “in which jeonghan finds his nap buddy”

he’s lowkey still salty about his nap buddy leaving him for vernon

but he’s happy for them so he lets it slide

he tried to get chan to be his nap buddy but chan flat out rejected him

after that he went to seungcheol who was like l o l i know i’m your second choice don’t try to fool me

awihgskjlfsadgxcbn he tried

ANYWAYS he naps alone for now cause he doesn’t like any of the women (and men because,,,,have you seen jeonghan he’s such a pretty person) who like,,,,,throw themselves at him SO

introducing: you

you’re a simple gardener at the palace

by simple i mean the only gardener because his parents trust you like 999% with their garden and unless you also trust someone 999% you refuse to let them hire a helper for you

so you’re super busy

you rarely see any of the other people who work at the place much less the prince

jeonghan’s mom is always like ;~; we’ll hire the nice lady who works at the flower shop in the town you trust her right? cause she’s so worried you’re gonna work yourself to death at such a young age

but you’re like no,,,,i only trust her 998% with my flowers,,,

and like while you know what jeonghan looks like you’ve never actually seen him so you,,,,,don’t realize who he is when you find him sleeping on one of the flowerbeds

all you see is this ONE IDIOT WHO IS RUINING YOUR HARD WORK

the work that you put your literal blood sweat and tears into

you can’t even count the number of times you’ve cut yourself or almost fainted from the heat trying to make the flower bed perfect

one time it rained really hard and the left side of the tarp ripped open and half of the flowers were destroyed and your heart broke

you refused to do anything for the next week while replanting all the flowers

the rest of the palace staff felt so bad for you during that week they kept bringing you freshly baked bread or that really good tea secretly

and while jeonghan’s parents knew what the staff were doing they didn’t say anything because they loved you like another child

(and they lowkey would wish that jeonghan would propose to you someday BUT THAT’S A STORY FOR LATER)

anyways back to jeonghan sleeping in the flowerbed

those flowers are basically your children

and so you can’t even beGIN to describe the horror you felt when you saw this one LANKY IDIOT NAPPING IN THEM

honestly you didn’t even realize he was wearing a very expensive white dress shirt and black slacks that CLEARLY looked royal

plus his family emblem was on the blazer thrown to the ground beside him

you’re sooOOoooO ready to give this flower killer a piece of your mind

and as the gardener of course you’re carrying a bucket of water and you’re just,,,,,,SO ready to go fight this person who’s destroying your children

and how else but to dump all the water on him?

at first jeonghan’s like kSDHGAKLJDS what the

and then he looks at you and he just kinda,,,,,,,,,,,oh what,,,,,,,,,,,,

and now you’re like kAKJSDHGAKJSDHG because did you really just pour like three liters of water onto the PRINCE

and jeonghan WANTS to be angry because now he has to go back to the palace to change and the time he has for his naps has been reduced

but he just,,,,,,,,,,can’t seem to get angry because you look???? so scared asdkhgkasd

you immediately get on your knees bowing like asdkjhgkljsHDAGSD IM SORRY I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS YOu and you’re rambling on about how you got a lot little annoyed at how someone was ruining your hard work without a second thought

jeonghan’s like IT’S OKAY i’ll just go get changed pls get up;;;;;;; i didn’t realize how important these flowers were

your eye twitches because,,,,,,,,,did he just imply that those flowers are unimportant,,,,but you don’t say anything because you already almost lost your job

jeonghan knows all the palace staff by name and face so,,,,,he felt pretty disappointed in himself when he realized he couldn’t put a name to your face

he asks his mom about you that night and she’s just kind of like celebrating with his dad because  F I N A L L Y they meet

(jeonghan in the back: what)

she tells him that you’re the only gardener so you rarely have any free time

she also mentions about you being childhood friends with butler!joshua

jeonghan almost runs joshua down the next time he sees him but joshua’s like I’M HOLDING YOUR MOM’S BEST TEACUPS D O  N O T  TOUCH ME

when jeonghan asks joshua about you during his break joshua’s just like //insert suspicious face// why do you want to know

and then when jeonghan tells him about what happened josh’s like LOL you called their flowers unimportant man rip your chances with them

jeonghan: but they’re????just flowers/???????

joshua: don’t say i didn’t warn you

joshua advices jeonghan to offer you some help (even if you might reject it,,,cause it’s the thought that counts right????)

at first jeonghan’s like,,,,a little hesitant because his already limited break time is being cut even shorter and he knows like,,,,,nada about gardening

and the suspicious look in your eyes didn’t help his confidence at all

you end up agreeing anyways, and to start off, you have him fetching water for you

he’s like lowkey shocked at how heavy one bucket of water is but you’re just?????carrying two with no problem (and he swears that there’s a skip in your step like,,,,where do you find the energy to do this all day???)

his parents are also like !????? because a) that’s the crown prince,,,,,,following behind this gardener carrying buckets of water and b) did you really just,,,,,,agree without hesitation or putting thought into it????

they’re supportive of it though

like you’d think that the king and queen would be super against the crown prince doing any manual labor?

but no. not jeonghan’s parents. they’re super supportive because!!!!!their favorite (only) gardener can finally take it a little bit easier!!!!

at first you honestly feel like jeonghan’s not going to do as well as you expect because your expectations are sooooo high but then???? by the third week he’s able to start naming the types of flowers and their meanings, or even knowing exactly how much water the flowers beside the oak tree need (and by exactly i mean to the millilitre)

eventually you allow him to actually start managing the flowers (pulling out weeds, planting more, etc…)

and his parents are,,,,,,quite shocked to say the least

jeonghan actually finds himself enjoying every second he spends working on the garden (it’s totally not because you’re there)

he’s not going to lie, the first week was Stressful seeing as you refused to take your eyes off him

but he also lives for those moments when you thank him for helping you out or when you compliment him on his knowledge on gardening

in reality, he actually goes to joshua every evening for a lesson (but since joshua’s knowledge on gardening is limited, he eventually hired florist!jihoon from the town to help him out)

when seungcheol found out he straight out laughed in jeonghan’s face, telling him that he was super whipped for this person he barely knew

“i am not whipped!!!!”

“you’re literally taking an hour every day out of your rest time just to learn about gardening to please this person. are they that cute?”

jeonghan’s ears are turning red because yes you are that cute

of course his old nap buddy finds out too since they are childhood best friends

his old nap buddy was like a w e when they found out because “does jeonghan have a crush??”

“we’re not in middle school p l e a s e”

it’s highkey cute though because he eventually becomes comfortable enough with you that when he sees you he literally c r u s h e s you into a hug (you don’t complain because 1: it’s the crown prince asdkgjaskdf and 2: you may or may not have a crush on him,,,,,,,)

after the first time you allowed him to do something other than carrying water you forced him to get older clothes that no one cares about getting dirty

but,,,,,,he didn’t have any because they threw out his old clothes as soon as they became too small so he ends up going to joshua who was like i,,,,,,literally have only my uniform and these jeans and a shirt,,,,,you can go ask seungcheol though?

he ends up going to the town to get some stuff and accidentally binged out and bought four bags worth of clothes

so you and jeonghan end up getting into this routine where he joins you after lunch to work on the gardens and then leaves again in the evening to go eat dinner and do his work

you two don’t spend a lot of time together (the most having been 4 hours), but you get to know each other a little bit from that limited time

you find out who his former nap buddy was and you’re like o h my god. that’s the person who killed their succulent plants every time they got a new one

jeonghan: that’s the one yep

jeonghan actually starts enjoying the time he spends with you so much that he sometimes ends up skipping lunch and dinner (and then at like 8pm when you ask why his stomach has been growling non-stop for the past half hour he’s like NO REASON nope none at all)

he just really likes spending time with you like he doesn’t even care that he’s getting mud under his nails, or scars from the thorns on the roses

“scars are manly!!!”

“jeonghan you cried for half an hour and refused to use any bandaid other than the spongebob ones that joshua carries around”

you always feel really bad because now jeonghan refuses to let you do the hard work but you’re just like jeonghan i’m the gardener this is my job i get paid to do this work

suddenly though jeonghan just stops??? coming???

you think that maybe he’s just sick but after a week you’re like ?????????????

they even closed off one section of the garden and you’re like ))): because that was the section that you had wanted to save until you could decorate it to your own style and now they’re going to renovate it ))))))):

except no they’re actually not

it’s actually a surprise from jeonghan for you because he knows that you wanted to make that section your own little personal garden but you just never have time

and the past two, three months that he spent with you was enough time for him to figure out what you wanted

he recruits the help of seungcheol, chan, jihoon, and joshua (when they’re not busy) and the five of them are spending literally hours upon hours trying to perfect it

when jeonghan placed the orders with jihoon he almost fainted because !!!!! it’s literally impossible to find bird of paradise flowers in this part of the world

but jeonghan was firm with what he wanted and he told jihoon to just place the order under the king’s name (to which his dad was like “why did i receive three truck loads of flowers yesterday???”)

his dad was okay with it though,,,as long as jeonghan paid for it

you kind of,,,,,give up trying to find jeonghan after the second week because the rare chances that you did see him he literally sprinted the other way and you were like,,,,,,what,,,,,

you tried asking joshua about it but he refused to tell you anything and you were like!!!!!i grew up with you what do you mean you CAN’T TELL ME JOSHUA HONG DON’T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME

a month later you’re approached by seungcheol and joshua and you’re like ( ≖.≖) at joshua who’s just like LISTEN you gotta trust us

you follow them outside and towards the area that was closed off and you’re like ???? why were they building a glass -oH THAT’S A GREENHOUSE

and you’re sooo confused?? until you get inside and realize,,,it’s a mini palace

literally because there are ROOMS for each of the types of plants like,,,there’s a room for the tropical ones where the humidity is kept higher than those that need a drier environment

you’re like watching joshua and seungcheol try and hide their smiles and you’re just like teLL me what’s going on aksdhgaklsdf

they lead you through the maze of flowers (you swear that it did not look this big from the outside) and you get to the end and jeonghan’s there

and he’s like,,,,,,,dressed up as if he’s at a party

and you suddenly feel super underdressed cause,,,,you’re wearing an old oversized shirt and muddy overalls,,,

seungcheol and joshua leave you two and you’re just like ??is something the matter

jeonghan tells you that he knows how much you wanted to make your own little garden but you never have time so,,,,he decided to do it for you

and at first you’re like aksdhgkjSHLGADSGJ what and he’s like oh,,,,did you want to do it yourself????? )))):

but you’re like nooo!!!! that’s not it,,,,i’m just shocked,,,,

you’re just like a mixture of confused and also lowkey kinda touched because,,,,,he really paid attention to the details and he remembered what flowers you liked,,,,and went out of his way to get them too

you ask him why he did this and he turns red like his ears are so red that you could literally hold a tomato up beside it and it’d be the same color

for a minute it looks like he’s trying to find the words to say and you’re like,,,,,is something the matter?

but then he says “will you be my nap buddy from now on?”

and you’ve known jeonghan long enough to understand exactly what he means by that so you’re like alksdhgakljsdhgKJLSDHAGLDS i would,,,,love to,,,,,except you know i can’t actually take naps,,,,,,right?

and throughout the entire conversation jeonghan just seemed really tense

but as soon as you said yes his entire body just relaxed and he smiled reaaaally really wide like y’know that really pretty smile? yeah that’s the one

when you see that smile you’re like “even with all these flowers, you’re still the prettiest”

and jeonghan’s so red he’s literally STEAMING at his ears asdhgkajlsdf

the next day when you run into joshua he’s like grinning really wide and you’re just like i’m still mad at you >:(

the king and queen hear about it like that very day because,,,,,it’s not like they had to deal with the massive amount of flowers that were ordered or anything,,,,,

jeonghan basically forced you to let him hire jihoon to help you out with the garden because “i can’t be having my future spouse dying early”

despite jihoon having been one of the people who originally helped jeonghan with the greenhouse, he’s actually not allowed to help with taking care of the flowers inside it

it’s kind of like yours and jeonghan’s little secret (even though it’s not a secret but it still feels,,,,nice to have that one spot for just the two of you)

and o f course jeonghan,,,,managed to sneak in a mattress and some pillows and a blanket to put in the corner for the two of you to nap at

when you officially meet jeonghan’s childhood best friend (aka vernon’s partner), you give them a giant book titled “Easy Plants for Beginners” and a ten minute lecture on how not to kill them (you even had notecards and everything prepared)

jeonghan on the side: that’s the love of my life right there

even though you keep telling jeonghan that you refuse to take naps during work he still manages to convince you to take a 20 minute nap

which ends up turning into 2 hours

he’s honestly willing to do anything for you,,,,i mean he gave up sleep to build you an entire garden askdghaskldf how much softer can someone get right?

[jiminwreckedme]

7 Letters

Chapter 2 - He who lived in Affluēns.

| Prologue | 1 | 

Member - Taehyung x reader, Jungkook x reader

Genre - Angst, Fluff, (future) smut

Word count - 4,560

Summary -  A mysterious person who writes on your skin, an interesting co-worker who is making his way into your heart. A man whose past you need to know and a man who needs to understand your present. In a journey that takes you beyond the boundaries of time, sanity and love, you are left torn between choices to make and decisions to take.

And no. Not everything was about love. It was also about destiny.

“Come on in and make yourself comfortable, I’ll get you a towel.”

You held the door of your house open for Jungkook, who shivered a little and smiled at you gratefully. He walked in, sliding his bag off his shoulders on to your dining table, leaving a trail of water which dripped from his clothes all over the small space you called your living room. You quickly grabbed a towel and handed it to him so he could dry himself then walked into the kitchen to whip up something nice and hot for him so you could ease your guilt.

The time was 8 now and you were supposed to be at work 2 hours ago to go through the presentation one last time before you showed it to your client later in the evening. But somehow yesterday your phone accidentally landed up in the toilet bowl and that in turn lead to two things - One, you oversleeping, because you didn't have an alarm to wake you up. And two, you not being able to receive any of the hundreds of calls Jungkook made. He had been so worried sick that he rushed on his bike to your house to check on you, getting thoroughly drenched in the pouring rain, banging on your front door finally waking you up. You took a minute to quickly throw a sweater over you and change out of your shorts into pants before he almost broke down the door.

Jungkook walked into the kitchen, rubbing the towel at the back of his head through his damp hair. The wet strands that were falling in his eyes were dripping with tiny droplets of water that were catching the sun’s light. Dripping onto his already wet white shirt, that was sticking to his body in a dangerously attractive way. You tore your eyes away from the alluring sight and returned to the stove making some hot chocolate for him.

“Your house is pretty.” he said leaning against the doorway casually. “I love that painting over there.”

You smiled, knowing what he was pointing at without even looking up - the watercolor painting of a world map. After all, it was the one thing in your house you were proud of. There was something about that piece that caught your attention when you saw it in the antiques shop sitting in a corner for god knows how many centuries. It seemed as though the one who made it was trying to tell a story through the plethora of hues by merging and mixing and splattering the different shades all over. It was as though the each color was intended to signified something, maybe an emotion or a sentiment attached to that particular place. It took you nearly two whole weeks to restore the painting, repairing the weakened canvas, repairing the paint loss and all that while you only thought about why the painter had chosen very particular colors for his work. Perhaps you were over thinking it but nevertheless is impressed you. And took away a large chuck of your wallet. 

Next to it you had stuck Polaroids that you had taken of the few cities on your bucket list you managed to visit because of student exchange programs, the only reason you studied hard to become a school topper. While looking at them made you happy most of the days, there was also always an underlying sense of sadness attached to it. Because in each of those pictures you were alone. Life is only beautiful when you have someone to share it with. You had no one.

You lived alone in a studio apartment that was barely 600 square feet to be called a house, yet you had tried to use all your interior designer skills to make it a much better place. It was a simple space - a bed, a closet, a dining table which would transform into your work space when needed, a small kitchen in which you hardly cooked, an attached bathroom and a small reading corner where you had a bookshelf filled with your favorite literature works, a corner you spent most of your free time these days because you only ever got out of the house to go to work. Or for chocolate sometimes with Jungkook.

“I wish I had coffee in the house for you. It must be nice to have coffee in such a weather” you glanced outside the window in front of you looking at the rain that was so gracefully falling to meet it's end against the stone-cold pavements. Funny things these raindrops were. You always wondered how they tumbled right out of the sky, forgetting their parachutes, breaking their legs, shattering as they fell towards their uncertain end. Why would someone so willingly throw themselves into such misery?

“Chocolate is fine too.” you snap out of your thoughts at his voice. “Chocolate seems more like our thing these days.” he stretched casually, sitting down on the kitchen counter behind you. You smiled to yourself, secretly liking how the words ‘our thing’ sounded coming from him.

“And I’d like my drink with sugar please, not salt” You could feel him trying to control his laughter behind you as you rolled your eyes.

A few days back you had told Jungkook about how you were sick of eating unhealthy outside food, and that it was high time you started making food at home. Even though you were a really, really bad cook, a salad was one thing you were confident you couldn't mess up. Until the other day, you offered Jungkook your newly tried out recipe only for him to spit it out because you seasoned it with not salt and pepper, but sugar and pepper.

“Never going to let me forget that are you?” you sighed turning, to find him playfully smirking at you.

“Never.”

“Oh get out Jungkook.”

“How nice.” he fake pouted adorably. “I wake up so early in the morning for you, reach the office by 6 to find you missing, go mad calling you a billion times to get connected to that rotten voicemail, rush all the way to your house in this pouring rain and sit here freezing in these clothes. All this to be asked to get out?”

You shook your head exasperatedly at his dramatic antics. But it was true though. He was probably freezing in the wet clothes he had barely squeezed the water out of. But you also had nothing to offer him to change into. Life would have been so much easier if guys could also wear girl’s clothes too.

“Unfortunately everything in my house you will find is too feminine for your taste. I would’ve offered you clothes to change into otherwise. You are probably going to catch a cold in these.”

“Oh no I have my own clothes. I carry a spare set of clothes all the time because you know, I box.” he said pointing to the bag he kept on your table. “ but those are probably wet too cause the bag unfortunately isn't waterproof”

“Why didn't you say so before?” you walked up to your dining table and fished out the damp clothes from his bag. “10 minutes in that”  you said pointing to the most expensive second hand appliance in your house at the corner of the kitchen, a washer-dryer. “and you should be able to change into these.” you waved his spare set at him.

Jungkook let out an ah of realization and then without giving you even a slight warning, he reached out behind his head, grabbing the material of his shirt in his hands and in a swift motion pulled it over his head, stripping out of it.

“Take this as well then.”

He held it out to you like it was the most normal thing in the world to do while you struggled to keep your thoughts straight. You could feel every cell in your body coaxing you to run your eyes over his body and you gave in to it. Oh he was so perfect. Perfectly muscular, tanned just the right amount, his 6 packs slightly glistening with the wetness of the rain, causing an unknown heat to pool inside you. Jungkook noticed your inability to move towards him and cocked his head to the side with this eyebrows arched,

“Like what you see?”

yes Yes YES  “ Oh you wish.” you stuck your tongue out at him as you walked straight past him, taking his shirt, not really catching what he muttered in response. You dumped the pile into the dryer and switched it on, when you heard a chatter of teeth behind you.

“It's colder without a shirt.” said Jungkook embarrassed, rubbing his hands together, his manly appearance crumbling before the cold. You laughed at him and turned back to the hot chocolate on your stove. His clothes would dry in a couple of minutes, so you had little time left to tease him around before he could regain his composure. You thought of something to say to annoy him, when he spoke instead of you,

“What's this, an apron?”

Your eyes widening, you turned around in lightening speed. Oh shit no, not the apron.

“Jungkook put that down.” you said a little too quickly.

“Why? This is probably the only clothing that is available in this house that I can wear to cover my modesty.”

He began opening the folds and you tensed. If Jungkook saw that DIY apron of yours, he’d never let you live a moment without laughing at you about it and you didn't need more reasons to die of shame. You walked up to him trying to reach the apron which he quickly held above his head.

“What is-”

“Jungkook your clothes will be dry in a while, try and bear with the cold for a few minutes. And give me back my apron!”

He held it higher as you attempted to reach for it, tiptoeing, leaning against his bare upper body a little, unbothered. You just wanted the apron back. He was already taller than you by a few inches, and sitting on the kitchen counter was also in his favor.

“Jungkook give it back please.” you struggled as he didn't give in to your pleading, even resorting to jumping a little to try and grab the material.

“wow wow calm down y/n.” he said looking surprised at you who was standing between his legs, one hand on the wet jeans of his thigh to balanced yourself, and the other constantly trying to grab his hand and pull it down. Suddenly a very evil smirk formed across his face. “Now I definitely need to see this.”  he whispered in your ear, leaning in.

“Jungkook no-”

He shut you up with a swift motion, trapping you in his enclosure  by locking his legs around you, preventing you from moving too much as you squirmed in his grip in vain. Within seconds he had managed to open the folds of the apron to take a good look at it and as he read the flimsy words you painted on it out loud, you let your hand drop to his shoulders and looked down, closing your eyes in shame.

“Kiss the cook?”

That's it. Now he was going to either burst out laughing at your childishness or give you his trademark teasing smirk along with an annoyingly smart comment. You waited for it.....but you heard nothing.

Slowing opened your eyes a little and raised your head, eyes first falling on his toned chest, only just realizing the dangerous proximity between the you two. You dragged your vision up to meet his eyes and one look at his face and you felt your stomach twist into knots. His expression was dark, humor gone from his eyes, replaced by a strange look you had never seen on him before.

The apron dropped to the floor freeing his hand which drifted to your waist pulling you closer, getting rid of the barely present decent gap between your bodies and he swooped down tilting his head, pressing his lips onto yours ever so gently. So gently you doubted if he was even touching you. Involuntarily, you felt your fingers tighten their grip on him,, and he gasped, quickly pulling away. Within seconds you lost his hot and cold touch, as he leaned back, his entire body losing contact with yours. Hands running through his hair, he bit his lip nervously, a look of shame forming on his face

“Y/n I didn't mean to....I swear I didn’t-”

After you felt what his lips could do to you, you didn’t want him to use them to talk. You reached for him this time, rising on your toes to leave a peck on his lips, reclaiming the lost warmth between you two. That was all Jungkook needed.

With a swift motion he slid down from the counter, gripped your thighs to wrap them around him as he turned and lifted you onto the platform, switching places with you in seconds.

“Y/N....” he whispered softly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. Your heart fluttered at his voice. Never before had your name ever felt so wonderful.

He brushed the strands of your hair that escaped your ponytail and were falling onto your face, behind your ear, and ran his thumb across your lips which were aching for him. His eyes were looking in to yours telling you how long he had been waiting for this and how badly he wanted this, questioning you if you wanted it too. You wrapped your arms around his neck urging him. He was making you wait and you could hardly bear it. You wanted his lips, You wanted his kisses. You wanted him.

He raised his head swiftly, giving you exactly that, crashing his lips onto yours but this time there was nothing innocent or gentle about it. It was hot, fiery, passionate and demanding, seducing your senses, making you see new sounds and taste new colors.

His hands left your face ventured down the curves of your body, exploring you, unraveling the frail threads of your sanity. He left your mouth, earning a desperate whimper from you, as he left soft kiss across your jaw moving down to your neck. Your fingers played with the soft ends of his hair at the nape of his neck, tugging it softly, making him groan against your soft skin. You felt fire. Fire burning your very insides out, it's smoke clouding your judgement, it's heat making you melt.

Unhooking himself from the curve of you neck, he took your mouth back in his, wanting the feel of your every breath, darting his tongue across your parted lips, running his fingers up and down your spine, causing your body to flush against his bare chest from the heat. You didn’t know till then, that desire could be this intoxicating.

Lost in the pleasure of each other’s bodies, you didn't care that the chocolate on the stove probably evaporated on the heat by now, or that the dryer that was beeping, indicating it had done its work, or that the window was open and the people living across could see the way your bodies fitted against each others. You didn't stop to take a breath - groans and whimpers filling the air. Didn't stop for the sake of time - the clock laughing at you, ticking away. You didn't stop for anything.

Until his fingers reached the hem of your sweater, slowly dragging it up your body and you felt a familiar tingle under you skin.

You jerked back in realization, breaking away from him, your breath a little shaky, mind working fast.

No no no. You couldn't do this.

Not here, not now. You couldn't risk him seeing anything that would scare him away. You wanted him, so badly. So, so badly and you didn't want to lose him over something that wasn’t in your control, over something that wasn't your choice. The writing's on your skin weren't your choice.

Jungkook looked like you just slapped him on the face. He took a step back confused at your sudden withdrawal. He thought it was happening with your consent. He thought you wanted this too. You slid off the counter.

“Jungkook I -”

“I thought you wanted…” He trailed off searching your eyes desperately for an explanation.

“I do Jungkook I really do. More than anything right now. But -”

You searched for the right words, the right excuse to give him to cover up your insecurities.

“Not here, not now, not like this. We have things to do Jungkook. A presentation to run through, a client to meet, I already put us behind schedule by waking up late and dragging you all the way here. Right now is maybe not the best time for this..”

He tensed further at your words, not quite believing your reasons. “Did it happen too soon for you? Did I go too far-.”

You took his concerned face in your hands, placing a kiss on his lips once more to clear his misunderstanding. This time you felt him relax at your touch, his hand impulsively reaching to rest on your waist.

“No you didn’t...Its only because I’m worried about work, nothing else. and trust me when I say this.” you added at his tensed expression. “If you want to go far,” wrapping your arms around his neck loosely, you tiptoed whispering into his ear. “I want to go further.”

You broke away from him, biting your lip not so innocently, earning a now familiar dark expression. It should’ve surprised you that the always cheerful, coy and friendly Jeon Jungkook was exhibiting such a desire, but you didn’t care, because you were the one to blame for whatever he turned into and you were liking it.

You reached out for the clothes in the dryer and threw them to him, pointing to the washroom. When you turned to the nearly burnt chocolate on the stove, you felt his chest pressing behind you, his nose brush against your hair, his warm breath on your neck, as he whispered softer in your ear,

“Be careful about what you wish baby.” You knew he had a smirk on his face without even seeing it. “ Further may not be a place where I will hold myself back this way. ”

And he pulled away from you walking to the washroom, shutting the door behind him. You looked at him as he left, trying to ignore the heat pooling inside you again.

Bringing out two mugs, you poured the chocolate into them, when you felt the tingle you had forgotten all about, alert you again. Pushing up your sleeve, your eyebrows furrowed at the message.

Why the hell are you so turned on?

So what happened in the kitchen, stayed in the kitchen.

After Jungkook came out of the washroom in his dry clothes, his expression was his usual cheerful one, every last trace of the lust that was filled in his eyes gone. The both of you then went over the presentation in your house like you usually did, bickering a little, every now and then. He made faces at your scorched up drink but he drank it up because he knew he was to blame. You both argued over whether to order Chinese or Mexican and somehow settled for Thai. Everything happened so normally, it was like those 10 minutes of shameless making out didn’t even happen.

It was because he took your word for it, when you said you stopped because they had more important things to do, and he knew how serious you were when it came to work. It was making you guilty because he didn’t know that wasn’t the real reason. He didn’t know that at that moment you were willing to throw aside everything to lose yourself in what was happening. He didn’t know about what was hidden under your skin and he didn’t need to know either.

Jungkook was a simple guy. He loved his ordinary life, his small group of friends, his not-to-so-great work place. He loved the normalcy in it. As much as you wanted to tell him about you, you knew it would frighten him and you didn’t want to lose whatever your relationship with him was. You were starting to like how well he fitted in the backdrop of your simple house. You loved how natural he looked in the environment you were familiar with, almost becoming one of the few things you allowed yourself to feel comfortable around. You wanted him to stay for as long as possible.

Even though both of your maximum attention was on work, you noticed the two of you couldn’t help but steal small moments for yourselves. Catching Jungkook checking you out as leaned across the table to grab something, the momentary brush of your hands from time to time, watching the way his face made such an attractive expression when he concentrated on something - all of that was going on too. But by 4 o’clock, you were completely ready, and the two of you set off to the clients house.

It was almost 5 now and you had been sitting at the back of Jungkook’s bike for nearly an hour, your hands wrapped around his waist, head leaning against his strong back. You were tired. Very tired. It was nearly impossible to sleep at night these days. Your dreams got longer, more frightening, more frequent now. It didn't help that V didn't know about them any more. Normally he was there every time you woke up from a dream, comforting you through his words. Now that he couldn’t read your thoughts anymore he had no idea, and you didn't feel like telling him either.

Along with the connection of the mind that you had lost with him, something else snapped between you two as well. As far as V was concerned, it was always a roller coaster of emotions - happiness, sadness, fear, pain, anger - but for the first time, you felt a repulsion towards him. You didn't feel like sharing anything with him anymore. You didn't want to know anything about him anymore. You didn't talk to him much anymore.

Ever since the day he told you he was cursed, something inside you shattered. You weren't expecting it. As much as you had a feeling that V couldn't have been an ordinary person, someone cursed was not who you had imagined. You thought he would be some sort of a guardian angel or a fairy godmother, but never a cursed being. You didn't even know what the curse was or why he was cursed, and you didn't want to either. You just wanted to run as far away from him as possible.

But it was getting harder.

The other day when you felt him laugh, when you could tell he was nervous about talking to you, it wasn't your imagination. It happened. And it happened again. Sometimes deep down inside you, even when you weren’t talking to him, you knew when he felt angry, when he felt upset and even when he was scared. You didn’t know how but you just knew it. And even though he couldn’t read your mind anymore, it seemed like he could still sense your strongest emotions. Like how he knew how you felt with Jungkook earlier. This new kind of connection should have interested you, tempted you to know more. Yet you  wanted to run away.

Because running away is always easier than facing reality.

You closed your eyes for a what you thought was a minute, throwing your thoughts outside your head, feeling the wind on your face. Enough. You didn't want to think about it anymore.

“Hey Y/N?”

Jungkook’s soft voice drifted towards you. “Are you asleep?”

You stirred awake, unlocking your hands from around him, feeling oddly stiff from your journey to the city outskirts. The sky around you was splashed with shades of a beautiful orange, telling you the sun would set soon.

“I think we reached.” Jungkook looked at you over his shoulder slightly turning back. Getting down from the bike you stretched, cracking your joints and he held you by the wrist.

“Hey if you are not feeling up to it, we can always ask for more time and come back later.”

“No, no, Jungkook I'm fine. It just felt nice sitting there, so I sort of fell asleep.”

Jungkook smiled, letting you go, and got off his bike. You looked at the giant mansion that loomed before you and gulped. When you had heard about the luxurious three story house, you thought it would look like a pretty castle that walked out of a Disney movie.

Presently you were at the gate of a manor that was proudly standing at the edge of a pointed cliff, it’s back facing the sea whose waves you could hear crashing into the rocks. It was centered in a not-so-well manicured lawn, that was covered with growing withered bushes and shrubs, a seating area situated in the corner. The house though was a masterpiece, made of pale grey nascent stone walls covered by the moss and ivy, the only thing that seemed alive in the radar of a kilometer around the house which was surrounded by dark barren woods. There were no houses around, and from Jungkook’s expression it was evident that this was the only one he had spotted in miles.

It was a beautiful house no doubt, but a sad beautiful. The kind of beautiful that made your heart ache for some unknown reason. But who would live here and why they would live so far away from civilization was what you wanted to know.

“Let's go.” Jungkook said parking his bike by the gate, as the two of you walked silently on the stone path the lead to the house, taking in your surroundings.  The driveway was grandiose, sweeping into a wide circle in front of the dwelling with an ornate fountain in the center, whose soft gurgling was merging with the melodic waves of the sea.

An old man, wearing a suit that was screaming elegance walked out, opening the large oak doors, sheltered under a wide porch supported by stone pillars, hiding the beauty of the manor. Of course. You could hardly expect someone as young as you to own a house like this. It had to be some sort of ancient, antique man, with pockets stuffed with money from half a dozen businesses around the world.

“Welcome to Affluēns.” He smiled warmly. “Please, come inside”

Jungkook and you looked at each other taking a deep breath, as he squeezed your hand reassuringly and the two of you stepped in. It was at that moment you realized that the exterior of the house had completely fooled you.

Inside everything was dripping with modern luxury -  gleaming white marble floors, elegant velvet couches, chandeliers made of hundreds of pieces of glass on the ceiling. The stairs twisting up from the corner of the room was made of chic black tiles. Soft silky material draped the french windows like a veneer between the house and the outside world. It was breath taking, a dream come true for youngsters like you.

You looked at Jungkook wanting to ask him why someone would want to get rid of all of this luxurious setting, that too for a vintage look, but he was looking intently at something else. You followed his vision to see him staring at the copper statue in the center of the foyer. It was odd shapes and sizes of reddish brown copper sheets twisted and turned almost looking like....fire? It seemed to hold some significance for the old owner. After all it was the only thing that seemed out of place in the modern setting.

“Please take a seat.” said the old man pointing to the sofas. Jungkook smiled professionally and held out his hand. “ Thank you sir. I’m Jungkook and this is Y/n. You must be Mr.-”

“Oh no I’m not the owner, merely a butler at your service.” You could feel your eyebrows raise in awe. If the butler himself was dressed so well, you could hardly imagine what the owner would be dressed like.

“My master will see you in a while. Please make yourself comfortable” he bowed and disappeared into the house. Jungkook and you sat down not saying a word, still taking in the beauty of the house that you were unfortunately here to take down. But across the living room there was something that caught your eye.

A wall, a single empty wall, carved with oddly familiar designs. Random, meaningless designs - lines, curves, spirals - but familiar ones. They sort of spoke to you, a strange something you couldn't quite comprehend. You felt like you knew them, but didn’t know how.

The sound of footsteps getting louder, gained your attention and the both of you got up, smoothing the creases on your clothes, making yourself look presentable to the figure that emerged from the shadows. Your eyes first fell on his feet, which were covered in black pointed shoes, the edge of a long black coat which matching his equally blank pant was reaching to his knees. His upper body covered by a dark red shirt that was decorated with a fancy collar around his neck and his face -

It was the boy. The boy at the cafe.

There was a fleeting look of recognition in his eyes, but it was gone so fast, you doubted if you imagined it. The impish looking boy cleared his throat and gestured with his arms wide open.

“Welcome home.”

[astrotranslations]

ASTRO for Marie Claire (2017 February Issue)

Cha Eunwoo

Greatest interests recently: Japanese, the drama <Goblin>, driver’s license Your favourite lyric amongst ASTRO’s songs: It’s a part from 'Fireworks'. 'I want to secretly leave a little memory on your cheeks that have flushed red'. They’re pretty lyrics which tug at your heartstrings. The drama of your life: <Rain Man>. My brother came to mind and I cried throughout as I watched the movie. A special habit: I bite at my fingernails when I get restless The member who possesses the charm you’d like to parallel: Moonbin. The charisma he shows off on stage is cool. If you were to express your personality in one word: Simple yet complicated Things you’ve got to be sure to bring along (with you) on the regular: Mobile, wallet, notebook, pen, glasses, contact lenses, cologne Your childhood dream: Prosecutor, judge, doctor, etc.. It changed frequently. What you would like to do today if tomorrow was the end of the world: After enjoying the last supper with my family, I want to find a spot in the remote countryside that will become my final resting place and then decorate it Recent cause of worry: Having failed the driver’s test Your hangout: The bathhouse at Seoulleung station A dish you’re confident of making: Instant noodles Phone wallpaper: ASTRO’s logo A place you want to really have a holiday at: New Caledonia Something I keep obsessing over unknowingly: View count on videos and digital ranking A recent moment where you felt the most happy: When I stand on stage, when I see myself on TV, when the people around me cheer me on Your life’s greatest escape: Having gone to watch a movie alone late at night not too long ago What you personally think of as your charming point: Honesty and earnestness. I’m also nice (laughs). An animal you think resembles you: A bear An aspect (of yourself) you’d like to fix: I think too much and I get cold feet Ideal type: A girl who’s wise and kind-hearted. Someone bright who makes me feel good when we’re together. If you were to go on a date on Valentine’s Day: I want to spend some alone time with her as we have fun camping in the peaceful forest Someone you want to see as of right now: My dad No.1 on your bucket list: Receiving 20 licenses

Yoon Sanha

Your first plan for the new year: Building my body. It’ll probably take a long time (laughs). Your favourite lyric amongst ASTRO’s songs: Lyrics from 'Star'. 'You’re in my millions of thoughts and even in my unclear future. You’re shining brightly in this moment too. Thank you for being my bright light.' A song you’ve been obsessed with lately: Crush’s Beautiful The person you’d like to meet in this lifetime: John Mayer. He plays the guitar really coolly. The musician you must keep up to date with: Ed Sheeran What you think you rank no.1 at amongst the members: Cuteness and beagle-ness, my skills in playing the guitar The member who possesses the charm you’d like to parallel: JinJin hyung who’s really considerate How you imagine ASTRO to be 10 years later: I dream that we become a team who performs worldwide Things you’ve got to be sure to bring along (with you) on the regular: Oriental medicine which I’ve been consuming lately A power you want to possess: The ability to stop time A job you think you would’ve landed if you hadn’t debuted: A guitarist or a composer When you last had a good laugh: I’m in fits of laughter all day when I’m with my members Recent cause of worry: Maybe because I’m experiencing puberty but I’m getting a lot of pimples on my face The menu you often order at a cafe: Strawberry smoothie, sweet potato latte A dish you’re confident of making: Rice with soy sauce A recent moment where you felt the most happy: When I welcomed the new year as a member of ASTRO What you’d like to do on your soon approaching birthday: I want to go to a ski resort. I’ve never gone skiing before. Presents you’d like to receive from your members: The latest computer model Your charming point: Cuteness and shamelessness A modifier you’d like to attach to ASTRO’s name: A team that makes you feel good by just looking at them What you fear of: Ghosts. I think I’d pass out if I bump into one. If you could have any three wishes granted: 10 billion dollars, an additional 50 wishes, fans’ health What you’d like to buy at some point of time: My own snazzy guitar, an electric kickboard Your reaction when you meet a girl who catches your fancy: I’ve never had that experience before but if one day I were to meet her, I don’t think I’d be able to take my eyes off of her

Rocky

Your favourite track amongst the songs you’ve released: 'Star' which was included in our 3rd album. I was happy being able to write the lyrics for the rap portion that will be incorporated into the song. Greatest interests recently: The anthology I’m currently reading. I happened to read it by chance but I’ve become absorbed into it. Thoughts you think of on stage: I want to connect with the audience and relish in the moment together A song you’ve been obsessed with lately: Akdong Musician’s album <WINTER> The drama of your life: <Step Up>. Watching the dancers inside the movie, I thought about how I wanted to live like that as well. The person you’d like to meet in this lifetime: The 25 year old me who has become a famous world star A peculiar habit: My skin’s on the dry side so before sleeping, I have to put on a facial mask, then apply cream and spray some mist for me to be able to go to sleep What has changed after debut: I think I’ve gotten ore cautious What you think you rank no.1 at amongst the members: Choreographing. I personally made the choreography for several released songs. What I do when the standby time drags on: I’d monitor our stages or I’d search for and watch performance stages from foreign artists How you imagine ASTRO to be 10 years later: I hope that at that point of time I’ll be with my members always enjoying ourselves no matter where we may be, just like now A power you want to possess: Spiderman’s abilities Your childhood dream: World star A job you think you would’ve landed if you hadn’t debuted: A dance teacher or a musical actor Your favourite food: Every dish my mum makes Food that you hate: The cucumber that goes inside kimball A place you want to really have a holiday at: If it’s a place with tons of gras then anywhere’s fine A recent moment where you felt the most happy: Fansigns Your charming point: Manliness An animal you think resembles you: Baby dinosaur An aspect (of yourself) you’d like to fix: My Gyeongsang-do dialect that sometimes pops out of nowhere Your reaction when you meet a girl who catches your fancy: I’ll be just smiling on the inside What you fear of: When I become lethargic Someone you want to see as of right now: Family

Moonbin

Your first plan for the new year: Building my body Your favourite lyric amongst ASTRO’s songs: 'I’m more excited when it’s the weather you like' from 'Colored' off our 3rd album Thoughts you think of on stage: Let’s enjoy to the best we can A song you’ve been obsessed with lately: Chainsmokers’ Closer The musician you must keep up to date with: Justin Bieber The person you’d like to meet in this lifetime: Usher A peculiar habit: I hit the side of my neck when I get flustered What you think you rank no.1 at amongst the members: Running and knowledge on history If you were to express your personality in one word: Fire. I get keyed up easily. Your childhood dream: A martial artist who uses swords Something I keep obsessing over unknowingly: Maintaining my muscles What you would like to do today if tomorrow was the end of the world: I’ll run straight to the house my family’s at and just as I usually would, I’ll loudly shout, "I’m home." The day you last cried: I was talking about how I felt at our mini live which was held not too long ago when I started to cry. Your hangout: Practice room Your own way of relieving stress: I exercise for an extended period of time Your favourite food: Kimchi stew A dish you’re confident of making: Pancake A place you want to really have a holiday at: Santorini, Greece What you fear of: Spiders, criticisms from people If you could have any three wishes granted: To be good at singing, making all the people I meet like me, becoming courageous enough that I don’t get cold feet no matter what it is that I’m facing What you’d like to buy at some point of time: An Iron Man suit Ideal type: Someone who eats well and smiles easily Your reaction when you meet a girl who catches your fancy: I’ll suddenly get quiet and I wouldn’t be able to make eye contact If you were to go on a date on Valentine’s Day: We’d watch a movie then swing by a delicious bakery No.1 on your bucket list: To live happily

JinJin

Greatest interests recently: Fashion style. I want to earn a lot of money later on and buy fancy clothes to wear Your favourite track amongst the songs you’ve released: 'Star', 'Your Love…' A song you’ve been obsessed with lately: Ariana Grande’s One Last Time The musician you must keep up to date with: Sia A movie you watched recently: <Master>. I’ve watched it about two times. The person you’d like to meet in this lifetime: GD sunbae-nim A peculiar habit: I pick my nose (laughs) The member who possesses the charm you’d like to parallel: MJ hyung. It’s charming how he laughs. What you do when the standby time drags on: I write rap lyrics Things you’ve got to be sure to bring along (with you) on the regular: I make sure to have on me my cologne. My sense of smell is on the sensitive side. Your childhood dream: A singer, a drummer The day you last cried: On our rest day, I was lying down all alone since I was sick when I started to cry Recent cause of worry: I want to be good at composing Your own way of relieving stress: I listen to music loudly or I write lyrics The menu you often order at a cafe: Iced americano A dish you’re confident of making: Carbonara rice cakes What you’d like to do on your birthday: I want to go on a trip with my members to the beach Presents you’d like to receive from your members: A Porsche (laughs) Your charming point: My eye smile An aspect (of yourself) you’d like to fix: My short height. I want to grow a little taller. If you could have any three wishes granted: My height to be at 181cm, all the clothes in the world, not quite sure about the last wish Your life’s greatest escape: On the 1st of January in the year that I became an adult, I drank alcohol with my friends Three things you’d take with you to a deserted island: A camping kit, a fire steel, shampoo in big volume Ideal type: A girl who smiles easily Your reaction when you meet a girl who catches your fancy: I’ll smile when we first make eye contact, keep my eye on her for a little more then I’ll approach her first and strike a conversation Someone you want to see as of right now: My older brother No.1 on your bucket list: I want to hold a concert this year

MJ

Your first plan for the new year: Go on a diet Your favourite track amongst the songs you’ve released: A b-side track off our 3rd album, ’Colored’ A song you’ve been obsessed with lately: B2ST’s 'Ribbon' and 'Butterfly' The drama of your life: <Lord of the Rings>. Smeagol’s image was shocking so I can’t forget it. A person you’d like to meet: Rain sunbae-nim A peculiar habit: I shake my legs before I go to sleep If you were to express your personality in one word: Happy virus How you imagine ASTRO to be 10 years later: I want us to show off songs and performances that screams of our own color Things you’ve got to be sure to bring along (with you) on the regular: My members (laughs) Your method of stress relief: I sleep Your childhood dream: An architect A power you want to possess: Time travel What you would like to do today if tomorrow was the end of the world: I’ll release a song that I personally composed and wrote lyrics for A place you want to really have a holiday at: Hawaii. I want to see the clear sea What you’d like to do on your birthday: Going camping with my members The menu you often order at a cafe: Persimmon juice Your favourite food: Raw fish and sushi Your hangout: The Hangang Park Phone wallpaper: A group photo of ASTRO An animal you think resembles you: A duck If you could have any three wishes granted: To go back to the past, to travel to the future, to be reborn as a genius musician Three things you’d take with you to a deserted island: My smartphone, wifi, food provisions Ideal type: A girl with a pretty smile If you were to go on a date on Valentine’s Day: Scuba diving and confessing Someone you want to see as of right now: My family No.1 on your bucket list: To win no.1 on a music broadcast

Scans by: MyDeer_0330

Translations by @99pmh​ Take out with full credits

[skiasurveys]

cheesy

L is for the way you look at me…

The kind of person you’re first attracted to: dont have a type. but usually someone whose funny, likes video games/etc and usually manly look.

Do you believe in love at first sight? No.

How do you show someone you are interested? Talking to them, showing you care what they have to say, really does it.

Is there such thing as a perfect relationship? No. Theres gonna be bumps and stuff, but you just have to work it out. sometimes you cant and that is okay. thats why some people come and go.

How do you know when someone thinks you’re attractive? I usually think when they are liking my selfies all the time, or complimenting me. thats really the only way i can tell.

Could you date someone who has been only your friend for a long time?  i could but the dudes ive been friends with i would never date. It would have to happen naturally for me.

What do you wear to attract the opposite sex? whatever i want to wear, but i do wear leggings or skirts with knee high socks to show off, but i dont just do it for them to look. i want to feel good.

What makes someone sexy? well the obvious being good looking..probably strong and passion.

Are you uncomfortable staring in to someone’s eyes who likes you? No

Do you come across as confident, sexy, friendly, subtle, or innocent? I don’t know. Ask anyone else lol. <– same.

When someone catches your eye, do you try to make eye contact or avoid it? I try to keep eye contact depending on who it is.

Your favorite colors of eyes in the opposite sex: brown

.What makes you sexy? my butt?

O is for the only one I see…

Describe your significant other or crush. My boyfriends name is Connor, he’s tall. He’s funny. He makes jokes, he makes me feel safe. He helps me in situations where i dont know what to do. He dominates me in a safe and healthy way. He has strong arms and big hands. He’s darker but super pale which is funny. He is cute af. He makes me laugh at how passionate he is about stuff..like anime..

When are you the most happy in a relationship? cuddling…or when were laughing at 4 am.

.Do you believe in soul mates? Have you found yours? I like the idea of them. I know im in love with connor, so maybe. Its hard.

How many people have broken your heart? about 3

Would you ever cheat or have you ever cheated? No and no

.Have you ever loved someone who didn’t love you back? Yeah, who hasnt.

.Have you ever given someone your entire heart? yes.

What kind of things do you do to show someone you are theirs? I listen to them, let them rant/vent. Cuddle with them. dont cheat…lol

Is there ever a happily ever after? sometimes. I mean you can be happy and get married. but life happens and maybe you wil still love eachother but you could lose tons of money. its not just we got married and the end..

Do you want to grow old with someone or be single? Grow old with someone.

Are you a hopeless romantic? Yes.

What’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for you? I don’t really know…

What are you like when you’re in love? I get this really weird feeling. I just think of them in a different way, i cant sleep without him. I feel happy and then sad because i know its going to hurt. because either we break up or one of us dies. I get super giggly, like a school girl ahah.

.Describe your dream person. i hate this question. dream people dont exist.

V is very, very extraordinary…

What has been the weirdest date you’ve ever been on? not weird just awks was we met and went on a date at this pub and it was so awkward. we couldnt make a conversation to say our lives. He pulled out his phone and checked ice breakers which was kind of funny but it was just so awkward. we never hung out again.

And the very best? cheesy but connors. I had lots of fun with him. I just laughed non stop and came home just super smiling etc. 

What’s the most money a boyfriend or girlfriend has spent on you? I dont know,  alot but never just on purpose..i dont care for money lol

.Which one of your relationships was the shortest? 3 months.

Which was the longest? over a year i think

Are you friends with any of your exes? Yeah but not so much friends

.Do you wish you were back together with any of your exes? No!!!!

Do you ever have dreams about your exes? I think i had one dream recently about an ex, but thats it.

.If you want to get married, what age? I dont know, when im ready and out of college.

Are you open or closed because of past hurt? closed. 

What is your philosophy on love? Love is weird and mysterious. It happens when you dont want it. You can love someone completely different than you loved someone else. You can think you love someone and then meet someone else and be like “I called that love?” Love is weird.

Who would you die for? dont ask that lol

Who do you secretly yearn for? not a secret

E is even more than anyone that you adore…

The reason you love your significant other or crush. I dont know why i love him, i dont. I guess because he makes me feel safe and loved and i laugh a lot but its hard and tricky because its just hes so dumb but i love him haha

Would you change yourself for someone you loved? depends on what it is. Im not going to dye my hair black or dress a certain way b/c he likes it. But i have done stuff to make myself healthy for someone and for me.

Would you give up a dream for someone you loved? depends on why i needed to give it up

Would you quit a job for someone you loved? IT WOULD DEPEND.

The thing you love about relationships: I feel safe and wanted.

The thing you love about being single:  the only thing is you dont have to worry about someone else but yourself and friends. You have time to work on yourself and whatever happens. I dont really like it, but it doesnt mean its bad. You also can adventure out and do things with out worrying.

The person who’s on your mind right now: connor

[dryctarth]

“Tales of Wedding Rings” A Manga Review

Spoilers for this manga! (MLA style)

The front cover has an enticing image of Young Anime Woman looking up at the reader in a gaze of love, the wedding ring of the title glowing on her finger. Not the worst pose, but it sets up the tone of the story as something to be slightly disappointed by: this is a high-school boy sex fantasy (feel free to self-insert). This is accentuated by her ample bosom on display through a school uniform (complete with a hint of lacy bra) framed by an Inexplicably Loose Tie And Unbuttoned Shirt. There isn’t a good reason for this except BOOBIES! And while there are many people who appreciate them, the story never seems to set up whether the MC Girl is willingly displaying or if it’s just the author/male gaze, so the cover is odd right away. But the Medieval Fantasy Cloak and intense stare make it worth picking up, especially since “Wedding Rings” are uncommon title words.

The synopsis on the back makes it seem like Hime (the MC Girl) is very aware and clever, manipulating her Hot Childhood Friend (Satou) into marrying her and taking on the role of hero. This is a lie. It is very disappointing.

Inside Cover: Another shot of Hime, in full color (nice) and in what is soon-to-be-revealed standard school uniform, plus a fantasy cloak and staff (foreshadowing as the justification in the story is just as silly as the outfit itself). 

The story begins with Hime’s arrival (in full color) as a young girl of 7-8 (looks at least 10) and an Old Wise Grandpa in front of a young boy who’s all like, wtf mate? She tells him to forget he saw her being all magical and stuff. This is good (1). Then he comments on the next page (full-page color inked spread) that he fell in love with her instantly. The spread is defined by an image of her as a young girl on the right and her in her current age in standard revealing outfit to the left (actually takes up 1.5 pages) looking all shocked and scared. This is weird since her breasts are heavily emphasized, sexualizing her next to her younger self. A bit creepy (2,3). 

The story actually begins by fast-forwarding to present day where She Wakes Him Up (but with an onigiri instead of toast, realistically wrapped in plastic-wrap, also the wake-up is in color) (4,5). From here MAYBE establishes that she and her grandpa moved in nextdoor to Satou and he’s in love but they’re Best Friends and so Cannot Sex. Luckily they go to school, where Male Friend #3 says, “You’re so lucky, Satou. Guys with girlfriends can be so chill.” (11) to which Satou correctly says they aren’t together. His downplay of the situation is really offset for the reader since in every shot of Hime we’ve seen so far she’s got the girls out in a short skirt and acts like Teasing Anime Totally-Don’t-Like-You-Baka-Girl. Also she wears a pair of wedding rings on a necklace and they’re Really Important and as kids they promised to get married, cuz kids are dumb (7-9). So at school she texts him from two feet away and they go to the festival!

This is where the problems really start. While it doesn’t make sense for Hime to dress like that in school, it’s not that weird for anime/manga. But then in the festival scene she dresses up in a nice yukata while Satou is in Regular No Effort Boy Clothes (with the Untucked Shirt mod for variety). Background characters are portrayed similarly, but it’s weird that he didn’t dress up at all. OR change clothes at all. Or put any effort into an event where he can reasonably expect Hime to dress up and plans on confessing to her. 

Of course, before he can, she says she’s leaving to go away forever. He gets glum and they go home. Then there’s a light on a hill and he runs at Plot Speed for her to say she’s getting married and then he hops in the portal before it closes. Note, the portal is good as it keeps to the symbolism and themes we see later on around her (manga are bad at page numbers). He appears in the middle of court in a wedding ceremony where Hime is being married to Mr. Anime Prince. Immediately. Like, the portal led right to the center of court where everyone was waiting for her to pop out and immediately marry her off without even changing or brushing her hair. Really? 

Then Satou appears and then a monster attacks. And everyone’s all like, “Quick, marry the prince and Do The Thing!” And so Hime looks around and kisses Satou and slips the ring on his finger. Bam! Magical wedding. This is super-super-very-horribly-bad-and-dumb.

Everyone is all like, “WTF! Foreigner!” but Old Wise Grandpa is like, “Cool, also oof,” and Mr. Anime Prince is like “Thank goodness it wasn’t me, here’s a sword, don’t die!” After saving the day Satou passes out from the exhaustion of being kissed and swinging a sword.

He awakens in the Royal Bedchamber to another kiss. He’s still in his school outfit for some reason. At this point I think the author was just too lazy to draw multiple outfits. Hime appears in a Low-Cut Royal Dress and they go out to a balcony to make a Heroic Speech About Saving The World. In his school uniform even though everyone is calling him the “Ring King” (I give up on page numbers). This is dumb. 

There are some shenanigans in the bath and we see the usual “Don’t look! We’re just friends, right?” “Yeah.” “Ok good, (darn it!)” This is dumb since it puts the characters in the situation in which they are married (though Hime says it’s just ceremonial) and thus should be allowed to Have Sex, but since they’re Just Friends and Cannot Sex and they haven’t had enough time dating to ease into intimacy, they Cannot Sex for no reason other than to preserve their Non-Slut status (he must be virtuous and good and she must be pure). While it makes sense for them to be awkward, the plot doesn’t focus around it as a point of lack of experience, it’s clearly for the pretend sake of their virtues. 

Then a monster attacks, we learn that Hime powers up the Ring King (with kisses, of course) and the heroes flee with Gramps and Mr. Anime Prince, who is very relieve to not be in Satou’s shoes, all because the monster is too strong. This is ok.

They find an inn where Gramps explains the Creation Myth: The Abyss King was bad, so everyone made magic rings of five elements which were symbolically given to the Ring King, who beat up the bad guy. Then the rings were split up and given to mortal men, doomed to die. Except actually they are princess, doomed to be forced into a ceremonial-but-totally-not-because-their-relationship-powers-the-rings polygamous marriage. So yeah, doomed to die. This is kinda dumb, but has the potential to be interesting if it were handled maturely. Considering that the other princesses are shown as naked shadows, this will not be the case. Meanwhile, Hime is unhappy since she and Satou just had a surprisingly mature declaration of love and commitment to each other that was refreshingly straightforward and cute. This is good.

They still Cannot Sex. This time it’s because they haven’t eased into intimacy, which could have been good until Satou says something dumb and Hime reveals on a chapter end-note that she’s scared of His Massive Manliness (because obviously He’s A God Among Men, which we actually see earlier when, after the bath scene, she remarks to herself that he’s big and holds her hands apart suggestively).

From here they vow to go out and get the other rings so Satou can save the world. The elves of Wind are next and Satou imagines them to be super sexy. The last page suggests the princess is xenophobic instead (though probably naked).

The author’s note indicates this is MAYBE’s first stab at fantasy and is thus too simple. This is true, but it doesn’t excuse the work. This should have been fixed by the editor. The whole thing is a sex fantasy where the boy is trying to pretend to be A Nice Guy and therefore gets married and waits slightly so they can become more comfortable. But it’s so rushed that the focus isn’t on actually being nice and caring, it’s just on preserving that perception so he can Bang The Girl.

The whole thing could have been improved so much, though, if Hime had been as manipulative as the synopsis suggested. During the wedding she’s timid and weepy and picks Satou out of love, desparation, and fear. She wasn’t set up with him originally, he was just the first familiar face. Instead, she should have been planning this, telling Satou about the leaving and marriage to trick him into chasing her out of his unconfessed love. Then she could have kissed him right away, given him the ring and sword, and said good luck in front of everyone, being confident in the whole thing. Later she’d confess that she was secretly nervous and scared and had to appear confident for the people’s sake. She could have told him the whole thing about his role and the ceremonial nature, saying that she was sorry for using and deceiving him, sorry for being selfish, but she wanted this sham marriage to be with someone she at least loved as a friend, if not truly romantically. That would have set up a much stronger character for her as well as significant inner conflict for Satou. Does he forgive her? Does he resent her? We’ll never know.

Ultimately I wish it were better. It could be, but it wasn’t due to negligence of both the author (in never changing their outfits and making them dumb in the first place) and the editor (in not suggesting better characterisation). It is adequate, but not much more. It is predictable, and I wish it were better, but I probably won’t go look. If you just want boobs, look elsewhere. If you want fantasy heroes, look elsewhere. If you want cheap manga versions of Harlequin romance, here ya go.

[fffffaaarrrrrgogo]

Kaylee’s Ordeal

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2011

Kaylee's OrdealIntroduction: Kaylee finds a secret room in Mr. Peters' house. Kaylee was surprised to hear the doorbell after nine o’clock so she set aside her Algebra homework and peered out the little curtained window next to the door. It was Jennifer, her best friend, and she looked upset as she fidgeted in the December cold on the front porch. They were both in their cheer uniforms because there had been a game that afternoon and while the sweater was actually pretty warm, the short pleated skirt did nothing to keep the chill out. Jen noticed her peering out the window and called out, “Come on Melon, let me in. It’s fucking cold out here!” She unbolted the door and drew back the chain and let her friend in. Mr. Peters wouldn’t be home until after midnight and Kaylee assumed he wouldn’t mind if she had a friend over as long as it wasn’t a boy. Elizabeth, Mr. Peter’s five year daughter, was already asleep in her bed anyway. Never-the-less, Kaylee wished that she could have kept her out – she was obviously upset about something – and if she was right in her suspicions it was about Johnny. Jen and Johnny had been in a on-again off-again relationship all sophomore year and every couple of weeks it seemed her friend was crying on her shoulder vowing never to see him again. Of course, she was always right back by his side in no time. Kaylee felt that Jen was obsessed and that her relationship with Johnny, a senior, was just not healthy. Her friend had confided in her that she had given the football player a blowjob on their last date and that she intended to give him her virginity on Prom night; if he ever got around to asking her to prom that was. It was just acts of desperation, Kaylee saw, Jen was giving him her most precious gifts in hopes it would keep him interested. That wasn’t the way it was supposed to work – Kaylee was saving herself for someone who was definitely committed to her and had proven it by marrying her. Not that she ever intended to put a penis in her mouth – Jen said it wasn’t that bad – but the thought of it just sent shivers down her spine. It was degrading to women, and just plain disgusting. Kaylee’s husband would have to be a gentleman, like Linus Larabee. While she did get tired of Jen’s drama, Kaylee was not wary of her blonde squad mate because it was likely more of the same old story. The truth was, if she and Johnny were on the outs, there was a fairly good chance that it was Kaylee’s fault this time. When she had heard how he had ejaculated in Jen’s mouth and then told her to swallow it – she couldn’t even think about such a thing without gagging a little – she had been pretty upset with him. After the game that afternoon, she had marched right up to him dragged him over to the bleachers and told him in no uncertain terms that he needed to treat her friend with respect. At first he had just smirked at her – in disbelief that she was so nosy. It was that kind of thing that really got her irritated: when guys treated her like she was just a dumb girl. And, like always, he had spent most of the time staring at her breasts. Kaylee was self-conscious about her large breasts as it was and never appreciated the attention they garnered her from just about every boy and man she encountered. (Jen, who had something but not much, was insanely jealous of Kaylee’s boobs and had once held up a small watermelon at the market and loudly proclaimed it the same size as Kaylee’s tit. From that point on, Jen always called her Melon, and it was her favorite game to call attention to her friend’s boobs in any public setting.) She had been fuming at him, railing on about respect and dignity, when he had just stepped in close and said, “Maybe this will shut you up.” Then he pressed his lips against hers and began kissing her. At first she just froze, in complete shock. The truth was, she had only ever had one other kiss, in Junior High and it had been awkward and short. But Johnny was firmly kissing her, his strong arms pulling her against him, and his tongue in her mouth. Suddenly she was very aware of how cute he was – she had always thought he was attractive – and his cheeks were stubbly, manly, and she liked the feel of them on her face. He didn’t smell good, he was all sweaty from the game, but somehow it was a bit intoxicating – masculine – and it caught her off guard. Without even really thinking at all, she just started kissing him back, in a daze reaching up around his body and squeezing him – feeling his muscles. His hands moved to her breasts and she felt her nipples harden. No-one had ever touched her there before and it felt so good. And then she thought, no wonder Jen is so nuts for him! It was that thought, not the fact that she had compromised all her ethics and feminist ideals in the span of one chauvinistic affront, that snapped her out of it. She pulled back and stopped him when he tried to kiss her again. “Johnny, we can’t do this. What about Jen?” “Melon, we already did it. And you can’t take it back now. Look, Jen’s nice. I like her a lot. But you know as well as I do that we aren’t going to last. She’s not long term girlfriend material. And I’ve always secretly wanted you anyway.” Kaylee hated herself for being so flattered by his words. He was a guy who had only yesterday came in her best friend’s mouth and was now hitting on her. There was no way she could ever trust him. Hell, he had just called her Melon, a nickname she hated! But his compliment went right to the heart of her and Jen’s whole dynamic and it pleased her that someone realized she wasn’t easy like Jen. But she was back in control of her faculties and knew she would not let this happen again. She didn’t date jocks – well she really hadn’t accepted any of the numerous date invitations she received on a regular basis, but she certainly didn’t intend to make Johnny the first exception. “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to Jen. It would only hurt her. If you really feel that Jen isn’t long term girlfriend material, then you should break up with her once and for all. Let her move on with her life.” With that, she managed to somehow hold her head up high and marched off, still trying to regain her arrogant composure. But now she was face to face with a visibly upset Jen and she realized that she didn’t know if her friend knew about the kiss. If she did, would she believe Kaylee that it had been all his doing? That she had been a victim of unwanted attention? She didn’t have to wait long to find out. Jen plopped down on the sofa and immediately began ranting about Johnny. Apparently he had broken up with her, saying pretty much what Kaylee had said to him. Jen needed to get on with her life. “But he told me it was because he was interested in someone else.” Kaylee looked at her friend’s face carefully. There was anger in Jen’s eyes but she couldn’t know if it was directed at her, or at Johnny. Inside she was screaming how sorry she was, but she just couldn’t bring herself to confess. If she didn’t already know, then she could spare her friend the pain of knowing that he had kissed her best friend. Confessing did nothing to make things better, so she held her tongue. “Do you have any idea who it could be? Have you seen him chatting it up with any other girls?” The cheerleader sat back and played with a long red curl as if deep in thought. “Johnny’s always flirting with everyone, Jen. I’ve told you a million times that he’s a horndog.” This was a very truthful answer: if you ignored the fact that it completely dodged the real question. “I know. I probably shouldn’t even be upset, right. Good riddance to bad rubbish and all that. At least I still have you.” Kaylee leaned in and hugged her friend who hugged her back. After a minute or two, Jen pushed her away. “Get off me, Melon – you lezzy slut!” And so they moved on to other topics, although every few minutes Jen would return to the subject of Johnny and his mystery crush. The whole thing was making Kaylee so nervous, she decided to try and distract her friend by suggesting they snoop around the house. Ordinarily she would never do such a thing, but she was desperate to keep Jen busy with something other than her heartbreak. Besides, Mr. Peters was as straight-laced as they come and they probably wouldn’t find any more interesting than a Playboy in his side drawer anyway. In the master bedroom Jen found a gun in his side drawer, secured with a trigger lock. It was pretty heavy and mean looking. Guns made Kaylee nervous, especially when Jen picked it up and pointed it at her. “I’d sure like to know who mystery-girl is right now – one squeeze of the trigger and Johnny’s mine again.” Kaylee laughed and took the gun from her, trying to hide her anxiety, “He’s not worth going to jail for, Jen. Besides, maybe she didn’t do anything to encourage his attention.” “Oh no, Kaylee, he told me that he kissed her! That she kissed him back! The slut let him feel her up.” No-one had ever called Kaylee a slut before. She supposed she deserved it, but she wasn’t a slut! It had just been that he had caught her off guard. He practically assaulted her and it only took her a couple of minutes to snap out of it. And she had stopped it. How was she ever going to be able to explain herself to Jen? Mr. Peters did have pornography, a Penthouse magazine, in his dresser drawer. They spent a few moments looking at the glossy images of women, legs spread and holding their pussies open with their fingers. Kaylee had never seen anything so revolting, although she had to admit the women were very beautiful. None of them had grotesquely huge breasts like hers. She commented that she didn’t understand why slutty girls shaved their pubic hair, and Jen chuckled, pulling her skirt up and her bloomers down to reveal a completely smooth pussy. “It’s because we know guys don’t like getting hair in their teeth.” “Oh gross!” Kaylee was shocked. Of course she trimmed her bush for bathing suits – that was just good hygiene – but she had never thought that anyone in the real world went bald. “Of course, Kaylee, you shouldn’t ever do this. Redheads are rare and guys love red pussy hair. But you could leave just a thin strip down the middle. Or make a heart or something; that would be cute.” It had only been two years ago that she and Jen were kissing their own hands, trying to learn how, and completely ignorant of anything sexual. How had Jen moved so much further along this depraved path? “Johnny refused to go down on me. Can you believe that? He said he was watching his carbs. And after I ate his come too. Guys have such a double standard. He wouldn’t even kiss me again after I brushed my teeth.” “Can you blame him? It’s not exactly sanitary. I mean, he pees from there.” “Remember when Mr. Johnson told us how the Apollo 13 astronauts drank their own urine. He said it was sterile and harmless. It’s not like I licked old crusty urine from a toilet, Kaylee. Besides he was very clean at the time. You’ll see soon enough.” “Not me, Jen. I wouldn’t date a guy who expected that.” Jen stared hard at her for a moment, and Kaylee just knew that Jen knew. Johnny had told her all about their kiss and she was going to explode now. But instead Jen just laughed, “Yeah, you probably wouldn’t. You’re going to have the most boring sex life in the whole world, Kaylee. What a waste of fantastic tits!” Kaylee’s heart was racing, and she felt her face start to flush. “Uh, I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” Kaylee went into the bathroom and relieved herself. Then she took a long hard look at herself in the mirror. It wasn’t fair to Jen what had happened. Her friend was hurting, and it was at least a little bit her fault. She had known Jen for a long time, and even though her friend was kind of a blossoming young slut, they were still best friends. She owed her the truth. Summoning up all her courage, she went back into the master bedroom to confess. Jen wasn’t in the bedroom anymore, but Kaylee heard noises coming from the large walk-in closet. She entered and was surprised to see that the back wall was open. A huge panel had slid aside. Mr. Peters had a secret room in his house. There was nothing that could have prepared Kaylee for what she found in this room. Even Jen seemed taken aback by it. It was a substantial room, about thirteen feet square, with a concrete floor and cinderblock walls. There were no windows and the only way in or out was back through the closet. One wall was covered with peg board, and neatly organized hung whips, and ropes, and chains, and paddles, and clamps, and – oh my God! Were those dildos? Plastic cocks of all different shapes and sizes were arranged on the wall. The next wall had a large wooden X attached to it, like a cross tilted diagonally. At each of the extremities there was a heavy iron loop, which Kaylee instinctively knew was for tying rope. The last wall, had three large screen flat panel displays on it. Looking around Kaylee saw that there were a dozen or so video cameras set at all angles. What kind of sicko was Mr. Peters? “Can you believe this shit?” Jen said. She was kneeling next to a large wooden box that was bolted to the center of the floor. The top was covered with padded leather and straps dangled on the sides. It was about table height. It looked ominous but the purpose of it wasn’t evident. “Uh, I think we better get out here right now. Mr. Peters wouldn’t like us in here.” An evil grin crossed Jen’s pretty face, “Oh, I think he’d really like us in here.” “Oh sick! He’s like my Dad’s age.” “Come on Kaylee. Those Penthouse Pets are only two or three years older than us. You’ve been babysitting for him a lot. I bet he thinks about having you strapped down in here all the time.” Kaylee was actually kind of afraid at this point. Was this kind of thing even legal? She tried to imagine what it would be like to be strapped down, helpless, while someone violated her. “I want to go, Jen. I’m not comfortable with this.” As if reading her mind, Jen stood up and approached the box. She went up against it, and Kaylee now saw that there were grooves in the corner in which her legs fit snugly. “I think I’ve figured this thing out. The woman stands here and then bends over the top.” Jen bent over, her stomach on the padding and her small breasts hanging off the other side, and Kaylee saw that her cheer skirt lifted up to the point where her bloomers were in view. “Then she reaches down and grabs hold of these handles.” Again there were grooves in which her arms fit nicely. “Then Mr. Peters straps her in and does his thing.” “Jen, we shouldn’t be messing with this stuff. For all we know these cameras are on! We need to leave before we get caught.” “None of the red lights on the cameras are on, Melon. He won’t be home for hours. Quit being such a dork – when are we ever going to get a chance like this again? Here, you try it.” Jen stood up and motioned for Kaylee to get on the box. She shook her head no. In the pit of her stomach she felt sick. How was she ever going to face Mr. Peters again? “Come on Kaylee!” Jen whined, “You’ve got to do it. I did it. It’s so weird imagining what it would be like to be restrained like that.” “I don’t want to, Jen. I feel like we’re violating Mr. Peters’ privacy. It’s not right for us to be in here.” “Look, just try it and then we’ll leave. I promise.” Kaylee looked at her friend with a helpless look, but knew she was going to give in. She walked up to the box and tried not to think about Mr. Peters as she put her legs in the grooves and bent over. “Holy shit, Melon! Look how your tits hang!” Kaylee started to get back up, but Jen put a hand on her back. “No – come on – you have to grab those handles.” The young cheerleader frowned at her friend and reached down and grasped the handles. She had to admit that the position she was in was uniquely sexual. She was on her tip toes, and her ass was pointing out, and her tits were hanging down. If she had been strapped down, Mr. Peters would be able to do anything to her he wanted. “Hey, Melon! Look at this!” Jen was now standing by the television monitors and there was a touch screen display that she was typing on. In the span of two seconds, Kaylee became aware of several things at once: First, there was a loud clicking sound, and she felt clamps close around her ankles and wrists. Second, the room was suddenly flooded with light. Third, there was a mild electronic hum and all the screens came to life and Kaylee now saw herself from several different angles, strapped to the bench. Looking around she saw that all the cameras now had red lights. And last, she watched the door slide shut with a hiss. “Jen! What did you do? I’m stuck! Turn it off!” Kaylee was panicking and felt like she couldn’t get enough air. Jen was laughing loudly. “Calm down, Kaylee. I figured out this whole contraption when you were in the bathroom. I’m just fucking with you.” Kaylee tried to calm down, “Please let me up, Jen. I don’t like this at all.” She knew she was about to cry and really didn’t want to give Jen anything more to tease her about. Jen walked over to the bench. “This really is an ingenious device, don’t you think?” She pulled a strap from the sides of the bench and pulled it tight across Kaylee’s back. “This lever spreads your legs wide.” Kaylee saw on one of the monitors that Jen pulled a lever near her feet and the shackles on her legs pulled out hard, spreading her. “OW! Damn it, Jen, stop playing around!” “Oh, Melon, you must be so uncomfortable. Let me help you.” She went around the front and pulled out a stand. It was an adjustable prop, with a large metal collar on it. Jen fastened it around Kaylee’s neck. Now she could rest her head, which was more comfortable, but she was forced to look forward, her chin pointing out. “Look at yourself, Melon!” Kaylee couldn’t help but look at herself. She was larger than life on the monitors. “If Mr. Peters was here, I bet he’d rip off your bloomers and fuck you silly.” “Come on Jen, this isn’t funny. I want to get up.” “But you haven’t seen the best part, Melon.” Jen stooped down in front of her and pulled up her sweater and bra freeing her breasts. “What the fuck are you doing?” “Check this out,” Jen laughed and pulled two little clamps out from a drawer at the base of the unit. She put one on each of Kaylee’s nipples, causing her to scream. The clamps were attached to retractable cords that pulled down, stretching out her nipples. Kaylee was gritting her teeth, the pain was intense, “GET ME OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW!” Now she was pissed. Jen had definitely crossed the line. “Okay, okay. Calm down, Kaylee. I was just messing with you. Let me shut it off.” While Kaylee whimpered, Jen went to the panel and tapped away. “This should do it.” Kaylee heard some clicking and felt vibration coming from the box. She pulled against her restraints but they didn’t open. Then in horror she watched on the monitor from a side angle as a drawer opened from the bottom of the box between her legs and a pneumatic arm raised up holding a large black dildo. The drawer then began to slowly retract, pulling the dildo closer to her inch by inch. “Oops!” Jen said, tapping on the controls some more, “This doesn’t seem to be responding.” “Jen, this isn’t funny! Stop that thing!”

“I’m pressing the release button. It’s not releasing. It worked when you were in the bathroom!” The dildo made contact with Kaylee, pressing against her bloomers. It was clearly trying to penetrate her and she felt the smooth material of her panties and bloomers pushing inside of her. It hurt a lot, but just kept pressing. “OH GOD! It’s trying to go in! Stop it, Jen! Turn it off!” “I’m trying! Damn it, this thing is not responding!” “OH! FUCK!” An inch of her panties and bloomers had been pushed inside of her by the dildo, and it was tearing her dry pussy. Slowly the dildo retreated, and Kaylee sighed in relief, but then it reverse and slowly began trying to penetrate her again. “Jen! It’s trying to fuck me! Don’t let it fuck me! Please, God, please turn it off! Oh it’s tearing me up!” Jen saw on the monitors that it was pushing her underwear inside of her pussy. She moved over to Kaylee, and said, “Honey, I think I’m going to have to move your bloomers or it’s really going to hurt you.” As the dildo pulled out, Jen grabbed her bloomers and panties and pulled them down. When the dildo made its way back it now entered her pussy unhindered. Her pussy was still raw, but it didn’t hurt as much. The dildo kept penetrating her about an inch and then backing away – little by little Kaylee felt her pussy dampen and then it actually began to feel good. “Oh God, Jen. Please stop this.” “Working on it, Kaylee. I just don’t understand why it’s not working. Maybe I can unplug it.” There were no wires anywhere on the box, it must have been hard wired through the floor. “I’m so sorry, Kaylee, I’ll turn it off I swear.” She was back tapping on the panel, and then the dildo stopped slowly teasing her and began to push into her very slowly. “Jen! It’s going deeper! It’s going to fuck me! Shit, it’s going to take my cherry! Please, turn it off.” Kaylee felt the dildo brush up against her hymen. If Jen didn’t figure it out soon, she was going to be deflowered by this evil machine. Jen then moved over to Kaylee and knelt down in front of her, looking her in the eye. “You know, I intended to give my cherry to Johnny at the prom.” Kaylee bit her lip as the dildo pressed into her, and then screamed as it burst through her cherry. “Now he tells me that he wants to take you to the prom. You, Kaylee. My best friend.” “Oh God! Fuck it hurts!” The dildo pushed into Kaylee, six inches, seven, eight. The pain and humiliation was intense, and the terror, at realizing Jen knew about Johnny, was only making it worse. She had let this machine take her virginity, and now it seemed she was going to let it impale her. “It’s a thirteen inch cock, Kaylee. I switched it out from the five incher that was on it when I came in here. It’s going to destroy your pussy. Johnny’s little six inch dick won’t even be able to feel the sides of your cunt when you give it up at prom.” Nine inches in and still going. The dildo was pressing against her cervix and now began to force its way in deeper. The pain was unbearable, she was stretched wide and deep. “Jen, please stop! I don’t want to go to prom with Johnny. I hate him!” Ten inches. “Oh, is that why you tongue fucked him! It that why you let him grope your fucking melons!” She tugged on the nipple clamps getting Kaylee to scream again. “Is that why you TOLD him he had to break up with me if he wanted to be with you?” “No! Jen, I’m sorry. He kissed me. I was just taken off guard!” Eleven inches of hard plastic cock in her tight body and Kaylee thought she might pass out. She couldn’t believe that Jen was doing this to her. Tears poured down her face. “That’s right, cry you little slut! Tiffany told me she saw you. You kissed him for like five minutes! You clung to him! You let him touch your precious tits! And after all your lectures on how I’m such a slut.” “No, it’s not like that. It was just an accident. I was confused. Please, stop this. Jen, please you’re my best friend.” “Fuck you, Melon! I’m not your goddamn friend. You’re a backstabbing little bitch and I’m going to enjoy destroying your fucking cunt.” With twelve inches of dildo buried inside of her, Kaylee was groaning and couldn’t say anything else. She hadn’t realized she was even able to take so much inside of her. The last inch pushed into her slowly and then the whole machine just stopped. Jen went back to the panel and pressed a few buttons. The dildo began to vibrate inside of her. Jen went to the wall and grabbed a little ribbed clip that she affixed to the dildo so it was pressing up against Kaylee’s clit. The vibrations were driving her crazy. “Don’t do that! Stop it, Jen! This is rape! Get this thing out of me!” “You know what? I’m sick of your lying bitch mouth!” Jen grabbed a harness from the wall, and stepped into it. Kaylee didn’t understand what was happening until Jen clipped an eight inch dildo onto the front of it. She had never even heard of strap-ons, but the purpose of it was self-evident. “Jen, please, we can talk about this. I don’t want Johnny, and you shouldn’t either.” “I love him, bitch! I let him cum in my mouth! And now, he’s telling me how he can’t stop thinking about your fucking tits.” “Please, Jen, please stop this!” The pleasure she was getting from the vibrator in her cunt was finding its way through the pain she was feeling in her nipples and cervix. Her clit was sending wave after wave of sensation through her. Kaylee had never had an orgasm and so she didn’t recognize that the feeling that was building up inside of her was going to be so intense. “Oh fuck, please make it st-“ When her mouth made an O in the word ‘stop’, Jen shoved the strap-on into her mouth. “Guess what, you judgmental little bitch, looks like you do suck dick after all! I just wish I could come down your pretty little throat.” Kaylee’s eyes were wide as Jen pushed inch after inch of the cock into her mouth, not stopping when she gagged. The head of the plastic cock entered her throat and Jen didn’t let up until the fake plastic balls were on Kaylee’s chin. She couldn’t breathe. “Oh my, Kaylee, you’re a natural cocksucker – deep throating it on the first try.” Kaylee really began to panic just as her body released her first orgasm. She was literally thrashing against her restraints, humiliated that she was somehow enjoying this torture, terrified that Jen was going to suffocate her to death, in the most pain she had ever endured. Jen pulled out of her throat, and she gasped for breath and screamed until Jen shoved the dick back into her mouth. Her mouth was fucked furiously for the next several minutes, as orgasm after orgasm coursed through her from the cock in her cunt. “Take it you fucking good for nothing cunt! Suck my dick, Kaylee! I’m going to tell everyone what a great little cocksucker you are – how you can take the whole thing into your throat. Every guy you know is going to try to get his cock in you. Course I’m going to tell them how stretched out and useless your pussy is now.” Kaylee couldn’t believe what was happening to her. Her body was completely betraying her as she came over and over and over. She wanted to die. Eventually, Jen got tired of fucking her throat. “Jen, please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please stop raping me!” “Raping you? Kaylee, you are cumming almost constantly. Who cums when they’re being raped?” “I don’t want this! I’m saying NO!” “Your mouth says ‘no’ but your pussy is saying ‘yes’. But you know what, I’m sick of listening to you whine.” Jen grabbed a large red ball gag from the wall and affixed it around Kaylee’s head. She now could only moan into her gag. “You’re gonna love this next bit, Kaylee.” Kaylee watched on the monitor as Jen pulled some platforms out from the corners of the box near her feet. Jen stood on these platforms, straddling the evil fucking machine that was embedded in Kaylee’s cunt. To her horror, Kaylee watched Jen line up the strap-on with her asshole. “NNNNNNNNNUU!” Kaylee tried to protest, but the gag was effective. The dildo was only slickened with her own saliva, but Jen managed to get the tip inside her virgin asshole. She screamed silently into her gag as Jen slowly fucked into her. It was surreal feeling a cock in both her pussy and her asshole. And all the while her clit continued to shoot out multiple orgasms. Her whole body was drenched in sweat. “Oh yeah, I’ve got all of it in your ass! What a dirty slut you are, Kaylee. Taking a cock in your asshole and cunt and cumming because you love it!” Kaylee didn’t want to love it – in fact she hated it. She hated the humiliation and betrayal she felt. It was very painful – every part of her was sore. But the reality was that every little thing that Jen did to her made her cum again and again as long as that vibrating cock was inside of her. She had lost count of how many orgasms she had had. Finally, Jen tired of fucking her asshole and pulled out. She came back around to Kaylee’s face. Jen held the cock in one hand and put it up by Kaylee’s nose. She could smell her own shit on the strap-on and tried to pull away from it. “Now, Kaylee, I’m almost ready to stop torturing you. But first, I expect you to clean up my cock. When I take off your gag, I want you to stick your tongue out and lick this ass covered cock clean. If you don’t, I’m going to grab one of those whips and tan your ass until you beg me for the honor of cleaning my dick.” Kaylee shook her head ‘no’, but Jen just unfastened the gag and stuck the strap-on out for her. “Jen, please. Please don’t make me do this.” “Melon, I’m going to fucking hurt you bad if you don’t lick my cock right now!” Kaylee believed her, but she just couldn’t seem to find the nerve to do it. It was so disgusting. Jen got very cross. She went back to the wall again and picked up a large paddle with holes in it. WHACK! “HOLY FUCK! Jen, stop it!” WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Kaylee screamed as her ass turned bright red with white dots. Jen let her have it a dozen or so times until Kaylee started cumming again. “You are such a slut, Kaylee. You just don’t stop cumming.” “Please stop hitting me! Stop, please! Please, I’ll clean your cock! I’ll lick it! I promise!” Jen moved back to Kaylee’s face and she immediately stuck her tongue out and started licking the shit covered cock. “Tell me you love it. Tell me you love licking your shit off my cock.” “Jen, please. Haven’t I had enough?” “Do you need another spanking, bitch?” Kaylee cringed and kept licking, “MMMM. I love licking my shit off your cock. I love it.” Then she came again. “Well, Kaylee, it seems you are being very selfish. Not only did you steal my boyfriend, but we’ve been having sex for like an hour and you’re the only one who’s came. Before we finish up here, I want you to make me cum.” Jen slipped her bloomers off, and pulled the thong to the side. Kaylee could see her pussy was dripping wet. She couldn’t believe it, Jen was sexually excited by torturing her. She watched as her lifelong friend bent over at the waist and slowly backed up until her snatch was pressed against Kaylee’s mouth. “Jen, no!” Kaylee shut her mouth and tried to turn her head away. “Get your tongue in my cunt right this instant, Kaylee! Don’t make me whip you again!” Kaylee tentatively stuck out her tongue and tasted her best friend’s pussy. It was creamy and sticky, but it wasn’t foul. Jen began moaning as Kaylee lapped at her. “Oh that’s so good, Kaylee. Come on, slut, get your tongue inside me!” Jen forced her friend to lick her pussy and asshole for the next several minutes until finally she crested and had an intense orgasm, filling Kaylee’s mouth with her juices. “Now, will you please get this thing out of me and let me go.” Kaylee was completely sobbing now. “I’m almost done, you fucking bitch.” Jen retrieved another gag from the wall and put the ball into Kaylee’s mouth. She then insert a flexible tube into a hole running through the center of the gag. At the end of the tube she attached a large funnel. Kaylee thought she was beyond being horrified, but her eyes flew open wide again as Jen straddled the funnel and began to piss. “Mr. Johnson would be so proud of me, don’t you think? Putting knowledge into practice like this. Maybe I’ll show him the video.” The poor cheerleader’s mouth flooded with piss – Jen reached down and pinched her nose closed. “Swallow it, slut!” There was no other option, Kaylee had to swallow mouthful after mouthful of piss. Jen began putting things away, switching the funnel gag for a red ball gag again. Then she went back to the wall panel and tapped a few things. Kaylee hoped for a second that Jen was going to release her, but to her chagrin, the dildo inside of her began to fuck her – pulling out almost a full ten inches and then slamming back in. All she could do was grunt in pain as each push slammed into her cervix and caused her tits to bounce pulling against the clamps. Now Jen ignored Kaylee for several minutes while she was mercilessly fucked by the machine. She transferred all the video of their little encounter to an online server and deleted it all from the local server. Then she shut off the cameras. “Kaylee, I’m almost done here. Just be patient a little longer.” Kaylee was busy having yet another orgasm, her whole body twitching as the monster dildo ravaged her. Jen pulled out her cell phone and dialed Kaylee’s house. “Oh, hello Mrs. Stephens. Yes, it’s Jen. Kaylee’s phone died again – I told her to plug it in. I know. I know.” She held the phone away for a moment, “It’s your mom, Kaylee.” She smiled evilly. “Oh, okay. I’ll ask her. Sorry, Mrs. Stephens, Kaylee’s all tied up dealing with Mr. Peters’ baby. Anyway, Johnny and I broke up today and I was hoping you’d let Kaylee stay with me this weekend. Oh yeah, no problem. Yeah, she won’t need any clothes or anything. Toothbrush? Well, I’m sure there’s something around here we can use to clean her mouth out. Yeah, I know, I’m hysterical. Thanks, Mrs. Stephens. What? Oh, well, it seems he’s been cheating on me with some cheap little slut. Yeah. Okay, if I catch her I’ll slap her once for you. Bye.” Jen hung up her phone and then slapped Kaylee as hard as she could right across the face. “Your mom says hi, bitch! Well, Kaylee, it’s time to get home. There’s a lot of video to edit. I’m going to remove myself from all of it. If you go to the police, or try to tell our parents, I’ll send a copy to everyone you know. Everyone will see how easily you cum and how much you love licking shit off of cocks. But if you’re good, I’ll only show it to a few select people.” Kaylee was completely exhausted and although furious at Jen, she was just glad the ordeal was coming to an end. She just wanted to forget about the whole thing – she had no intention of telling anyone. Still the idea of spending the whole weekend with Jen after her rape seemed unthinkable. Did Jen really think they were going to still be friends after this? “Well, see ya at school. By the way, if you show up at cheer practice again or talk to any of our friends, I’ll show this video on the school TV network. Keep your distance.” Kaylee, her pussy still being pounded, watched as Jen walked out of the room. She poked her head back in for a moment, “Oh, don’t worry I’ll hang out until Mr. Peters get back. To make sure Elizabeth is safe. Oh, and I’ll let him know that your folks won’t be missing you until after school on Monday.” Jen left and a moment later the door slid shut and the lights all went out. The machine kept pumping away, occasionally bringing her to another orgasm. All she could do was wait for Mr. Peters to come home and find her. Would he let her go or continue her rape? It was only about forty-five minutes before she found out. -the end-

POSTED BY

TWISTED

AT

5:53 PM

[wildspiritsfanfic-blog]

Chapter 1

"Ma, hang up because I can't hear you over this goddamn phone," Krystal shrieked over the muttering and clattering of the crowd as she continued, "I'll call you later. WWE Superstars are just coming for the signings before the event starts!" As soon as Krystal threw her mobile into her purse, the cheers got higher, fierce and inevitably loud. It was Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. As the Lunatic Fringe came running down the ramp, people raised their persons from the chairs in honor, capturing numerous every-angle pictures. "I want a kiss, love," some stupid stubbornness-stricken fan-girls shouted while the cacophony was joined by wishes and hellos'. Everyone in WWE was equally appreciable, but for Krystal, Dean Ambrose provided an exception. She wasn't just a dumbass fan-girl like every other girl in San Diego was; she didn't want a good sex from Dean; she didn't want just a signature of him; she didn't want just a kiss or a 'DA' tattoo printed on either of her boobs. All she craved for was him; whether it be just a glimpse of his scrumptious face or seeing him smiling, shining, and standing on top of the world: evidently both. Albeit she knew she couldn't get him all to herself, she prayed. She prayed for a miracle, that maybe, maybe an ocean's wave would change its course and bring the Northern coolness in her life, that she won't be left desolate like the Fiji Islands of the Pacific. It is said: "A man can live without food for three months, without water for three days, without air for three minutes, but without 'hope', he cannot even live three seconds." And it was 'hope' by which she lived. Standing in the middle of the crowd; the shrieks and shouts, the ear-smacking cheers and heavenly moments of elation, she stood silent, sensing, observing her love who was walking down the ramp, laughing oh-so-sinfully-good, signing girl T-shirts and arms and naked backs and what not! Her inclination filled with desires, seized her indignation filled with a little jealousy. It's ok. Let him kiss. Let him love. It's his culture that allows; his heart that desires. What matters is his smile to me. God, please always keep him happy, smiling forever. And laden my shoulders with his sins, so that he may remain free from repentance. Now, seeing him happy, seeing the respect and grace, seeing people bowing in front of him made her feel gratified; relieved. This was what she wanted. Tears of ecstasy volumized her eyes and fled down her cheeks. While she quickly pinched them off her cheek, her gaze caught Dean's who was signing the neck of a fan-girl standing beside Krystal. Keeping his constant gaze on her, he turned to sign her too. "Madam, would you like an autograph?" Dean asked Krystal so cordially that she feared she would break into tears again. "Uh, n-no. Thank you. I have to go," Krystal hastily replied and backed off while Dean secretly eyed her as she left the arena. Something strange, unfamiliar feeling striked Dean as he saw her. Her simple dressing, her soft features, her decency and her innocence, everything seemed so familiar, as if he knew her. He in a moment or so, left the arena to the main exit. Krystal was about to leave when she heard Dean calling her. "Wait!" "Yes?" She stopped and turned while Dean hurriedly came towards her. "Have we met before? I mean during the signings or appearances or any main event?" Dean inquired desperately. "No. Just today." "Then why do I feel like I've seen you a zillion times before?" "You're mistaken, s-sir," perplexed Krystal managed to utter. "Just 'Dean'. I don't like people, I mean you, calling me 'sir'. And yes, we've met! I've seen you in my dreams." "What? In your dreams? Boy, you're screwed by a ghost!" Krystal chuckled not knowing that her prayer of God letting her in his dreams was true. (#MiraclesComeTrue #DontLaughAtMyStupidity) "God, you look cute when you laugh," Dean gave a pleasant smirk. Krystal stopped laughing and looked in his eyes which were already fixed over her face. Coming out of the trance, she turned and was about to escape when he gripped her wrist to pull her back. "I'm not done, princess. Why didn't you want my autograph? I mean, never in my whole career has someone rejected my autograph but you and I never 'offered' anyone my autograph except for you. Girls die to get it. But you don't? Why?" Now what should I tell you. I wanted your signature in my head, my mind. And I have gotten that by the beautiful gift of God: memories, which are saved and can never be lost unlike the autograph paper which I fear would get lost and be found crumpled under someone's shoe. Oh, I would never want your name to be disrespected. And you think that why didn't I have it on my neck or skin? It's just because I don't want a grain of dust to settle over your name; I don't want to scratch it while I bath; I don't want to touch it when my hands are dirty. Oh God, I can't explain all this. I can't let him know that I love him. "I-I just didn't want it. I'm not a 'DA girl'." "Oh, how can that be? I assure you, that one day, you'll be more than a 'DA girl'," he avowed as his grip tightened while Krystal stood frightened loving his confidence at the same time. But she still tried to show ignorant emotions as if she didn't believe him. "I have to go now," Krystal pulled her wrist and turned when he caught it again. "You can't be smarter than me, can't be more stronger than me and can't ignore me over my love," he accidently spoke the last phrase while Krystal asked, "What do you mean by that?" "Uh, nothing. You won't understand." Ignoring the reply, Krystal struggled to get herself free. "Now would you release me so that I could go?" "Sure, but you have to answer my questions," his grip was manly and strong. "Ask." "Your Name?" "Krystal." "Your contact number?" "I won't give." "Your address?" "I can't tell." "Do you think we'll meet again?" "No." "Why?" "I don't know." He finally released her. As she was pulling herself harder, she stumbled and was about to fall when he caught her waist as she gripped his collar to prevent herself from falling. "I told you. You can't be smarter than me...princess. And yes, you're wrong. We'll meet someday again." "How can you be so sure?" "Because life is one, while encounters are many," Dean winked as he moved her straight. Krystal couldn't help but smile a little. Then she turned and left the arena.