#maybe i got very emotionally affected by this scene because of personal reasons and maybe it ignited more anger towards Miguel but yeah

[fluffypotatey]

OH YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REMEMBERED!!!!!

ok, ok, so Guggenheim Museum attack is where Gwen meets Miguel and Jessica and joins their spider society, right?

well, when watching this movie a second time, i noticed that Miguel gets an alert on his watch-thingy about a ‘Canon Event’ happening! he even tells Jessica to be careful and not disrupt it. and you know what happens after they defeat the (very beautifully, ink animated) Vulture, Gwen reveals herself to her dad.

apparently, according to the little algorithm thing Miguel’s got, Gwen was always meant to be forced into revealing herself to her dad and have this ugly falling out and i just—

I literally sat there in shock (and more tears) during this scene because both Miguel and Jessica were aware (i don’t know how aware or how much about this canon event they knew) and chose to not interfere until the very end.

maybe, i’m wrong tho or maybe i misheard, but it really helps put into perspective that while Jessica and Miguel have empathy and consider themselves to be good people (or the people who have to do what’s right even if it feels wrong), they are steadfast in their goals. they are willing to have a teenager go through that (a forced coming out basically is what they was. Gwen saw no other way to maybe have some kind of talk with her dad even if she didn’t want the reveal to happen like this).

and i’m just….idk i’m not okay

[mikesbasementbeets]

ok. look at these.

look. that's the same look. right?

let's take a closer look. to do that, i'm gonna have to zoom in a bit on the first one. because, as you can immediately see, the shots are slightly different. the first is a little farther away, showing both mike and el, walking next to each other, whereas the second is much more intimate, a closeup on mike's expression as he looks at will's face in the foreground. a minor but telling difference about the levels of emotional intimacy in each scene.

so, moving past that first element of contrast, let's look at each shot in full, because in both of these scenes, mike goes on a bit of a face journey before he gets to that final smiling expression, seen above.

personally, i think studying actors' body language and micro-expressions is inconclusive at best, but i won't deny that these look similar. however, it's pretty clear to me that they aren't the same.

toward el, i see confusion, intrigue, maybe pleasant surprise, followed by a glance down (to emotionally process and/or watch his step), and then a nervous but friendly smile.

toward will, i see awe, relief, and overwhelming affection, followed by a shy glance down and a slight schooling of his slack jawed expression into a warm smile.

but, again, that's just my interpretation, and i can't say with any certainty what the intention of all of finn's micro-expressions are. but from my perspective, even a surface level viewing of these two expressions depicts a very different emotional experience. however: there's no denying the connection between these two scenes. they clearly mirror each other, just like a lot of things about mike's relationships with el and will mirror each other. i don't think that's an accident.

whatever you think his sexuality is, mike is undeniably in a romantic narrative with el. beginning in season one episode three, when the concept of their romantic relationship is introduced, the narrative arc mike and el share is heavily focused on that relationship. the first scene above actually happens in that same episode (s1e3), not coincidentally almost directly afterward. and the former scene, with mike, lucas, and dustin behind the baseball field, provides very interesting context for several reasons:

first: bear with me, because we're going back to look at the context behind this context. this is only episode three of the show, but already there's a lot going on, both in text and subtext.

and since we have the entirety of their relationship so far presented to us on screen, when lucas accuses mike of looking at el romantically, we're easily able to go back and figure out where he got that impression: we can examine every time lucas has seen mike look at el at all.

the first night, after finding el in the woods instead of will, and while insisting that the next day she'd be gone and they could focus on will again, mike's behavior is directly reminiscent of benny's. taking el in, and providing her with shelter, food, and clothing.

the next day, after learning that she's in danger and changing his mind about pawning her off on his mother, mike infers that she might know something about will. when lucas arrives, he exclaims that she recognized him and knew he was missing.

later, when lucas tells her that will is their friend, she asks what that means and mike explains. a friend...

and then she displays that she might really be able to help them find will. and mike looks at her like this:

each and every one of these interactions is directly related to will. but lucas, through the omnipresent lens of heteronormativity that surrounds boys' interactions with girls (especially a group of boys who have no experience with girls... more on that in a bit), only seems to consider the fact that mike's behavior, which is undeniably about will, is being directed at el.

throughout season one (and beyond, in more subtle ways), will and el are repeatedly connected to each other through the trope of mistaken identity. will is abducted on the same night (and due to the same series of events) that el escapes the lab. hopper, in his investigation into will's disappearance, keeps running into clues about el. and mike, lucas, and dustin, sneaking out in episode one to search for will, find el instead.

later in the season, hopper eventually realizes the truth of his own more overt mistaken identity arc: while he was under the assumption that he'd been following will's trail, he'd actually been following el's. interestingly, the realization is triggered by one specific distinguishing difference, which tells him beyond a doubt that he's been looking for two different kids: their art.

though much more subtle (aka hidden in the subtext), mike's arc with his feelings about will and el follows a very similar pattern. the main difference, though, is that in season one, the swapping of places is eventually reversed but never acknowledged as such, and mike ends season one with el now missing and will back in his life, but a lingering sense of something yet unresolved.

second: (i'm not going to deep dive into this one here, because it's a whole analysis in and of itself, but i need to mention it because it is relevant) this scene introduces the recurring motif of superheroes being directly connected to mike's feelings for el, which is an association we see follow them all the way into season four and become a defining metaphor for their incompatibility.

third: lucas is the character who first introduces mike's romantic feelings for el into the narrative. and instead of giving any indication that lucas' interpretation is correct, mike's reaction is... difficult to read. his response is immediately defensive, both verbally ("what are you talking about?" "shut up, lucas,") and physically (leaning away and shielding himself when lucas hugs him). we can infer from the original character descriptions why mike might be defensive about this subject:

obviously, this description is only a vague impression of what Mike Wheeler became, but it's clear that the core elements of his character outlined here did come to fruition on screen. here, mike's insecurity is linked both to the bullying he undergoes, and to his inexperience/ineptitude with girls. and it's presented as key to his character motivation (the original concept of his character arc put forth here is very straightforward: at the start, mike has insecurity centered around bullying and is romantically inexperienced. by the end, mike has courage against monsters and romantic experience.)

in any case, this scene is the first hint of this aspect of mike's character in the show itself (the earlier scene of bullying in the show focusing on mike consoling dustin over what he’s being bullied for (“i think it's kinda cool. it’s like you have superpowers or something!”)... see my last point here… mike holds the idea of superpowers in high regard, and they are consistently connected with his feelings about el. something about the mistaken identity through-line feels apt here: mike mistakes his feelings of admiration for el as feelings of romance.) in this scene, mike is confronted with both romance (in direct relation to himself for the first time in the show) and bullying.

but due to the way this is shot, it's impossible to get a read on what mike is truly feeling. it reminds me a lot of another scene, actually...

in both of these scenes, mike's genuine emotional reaction is hidden from us. in the first, lucas forcibly hugs him, teasing him about how much he "loves" el, and in effect introducing the idea of el as a romantic prospect to mike. in the second, el hugs mike tightly, her hand still around his neck from their kiss and his arm trapped in between them, similar to the way he shields himself from lucas. we're then shown that he's signed the card on the flowers squished between them "from, mike." hm. so... not love, as lucas suggests.

we come to learn over the course of season four that this is something mike is actively struggling with: his inability to "love" el in the way that she wants, expects, and deserves. this scene, introducing that season-long arc, conceals mike's true emotional state and motivations from us, again, mirroring the first introduction to their entire romantic plot line way back in season one.

(an aside: lucas' "if you love her so much, [then] why don't you marry her?" aka the inciting event of their romantic arc, is a based on a conditional statement with the hypothesis that mike loves el. as mr. clarke might posit (in, say, season one, episode one): what's the difference between an experiment and other forms of science investigation? ...well, an experiment is a controlled test of two or more variables against a hypothesis. does that remind you of anything happening in mike's romantic narrative? something about...... [murray voice] experimenting sexually?)

anyway. then, after extracting himself from el's embrace, mike finally drops his bag(gage) and opens his now empty arms to will, before preemptively cutting himself short with a punch to the shoulder.

...did someone say internalized homophobia?

and then immediately upon being introduced to argyle, mike is called out for his presentation here not being genuine. ("it's a shitty knock-off,"/"i really thought it was ocean pacific...") we're being told that something about mike's performance is not what it seems (and may even be a case of one thing being mistaken for something else).

and speaking of homophobia...

fourth (and finally): this scene, of lucas' teasing mike about his "love" for el, which i'll remind you again is tied directly to lucas mistaking mike's behavior regarding will as being solely about el, is quickly interrupted by an onslaught of homophobia, during which mike is specifically targeted (read: tripped) by the bullies.

the juxtaposition is immediate and obvious: mike's friends lovingly teasing him, even embracing him, over a crush on a girl vs. bullies maliciously taunting them about will being killed for being queer and then physically harming mike.

(there's also something to be said about the later scene in which these bullies force mike to drop his bike in the woods and chase him to the edge of the quarry, mirroring exactly how the cops assume will must have died... and, to be clear, i'm not saying that mike himself is being bullied for being queer in the way will was. no, mike's queerness is invisible to those around him in a way that will's isn't, so his relationship with it and the ways it affects him are hidden in subtext.)

which brings us directly to the following scene in the woods. el asks about mike's injury (sustained from the aforementioned bullying, thereby linking these two scenes even more concretely) and with a little prodding ("friends don't lie"), he opens up to her about what happened, and about being bullied at school. she listens, tells him she understands (this also follows her recent flashback of brenner's abuse in the lab), and they share a "cool," "cool," and a smile.

so... let's quickly jump over from here to the van scene with will. something similar, yet notably different, is happening in this scene, leading up to that infamous smile at the end. mike is sharing his insecurities with will now, but instead of will prodding him to open up, mike, prompted only by will's "she's gonna be okay," begins rambling so much about his insecurities (while speaking in superhero metaphors) that he eventually cuts himself off, saying it's "stupid." instead of letting him brush it off, will guesses exactly what mike is afraid of: "you're scared of losing her." he gives him The Painting (a symbol of his love for mike) and a long speech about feeling lost and different, while insisting upon mike's value (you're the heart, leading us, inspiring us, etc). and then they share a "yeah?" "yeah," and a smile.

so we can see the similarity in the way the shots are set up, the progression of the conversations, and mike's visible reactions. but we can also see distinct differences, all of which together inform a significant difference in emotional weight between these two scenes.

while mike's conversation in the woods with el takes place in the third episode of season one, at which point mike has known her for less than 48 hours, the van scene is in the second to last episode of season four, and is the fourth of five heart-to-hearts mike and will have this season alone (and following three previous seasons and beyond that years of close friendship). it is also arguably the climax of their shared arc this season. on the other hand, mike and el's season one moment is part of the introduction to their storyline, and the introduction to their romantic arc. in this moment in the woods, mike is looking at el romantically (did you think i was gonna argue that he isn't? because no, he definitely is). in fact, this is the beginning of mike's entire romantic arc, which sets out to address the foundational insecurity that is key to his character. we, as an audience, right alongside mike, have just been told (by lucas) that mike has romantic feelings for el. and then we are presented with this scene. we are supposed to view this as romantic. because mike is starting to view it as romantic.

had stranger things been one season long, then the climax of their romantic arc would have been the kiss they share in the cafeteria, followed by the denouement of el's symbolic death (the gay implications of which i could write another whole essay on...). but the end of season one was not the resolution of mike's full romantic arc. by the nature of the five act structure (which is what stranger things has, being five seasons), the entirety of season one serves as exposition for our full narrative. which means, in effect, that the entire arc of mike and el's season one relationship is there to serve as groundwork, a foundation for mike's complete five season arc. season one, starting from before he even meets el, all the way through to when he eventually kisses her and then loses her, is only act one of that arc. the first act of five act structure is when the driving conflict is presented. so in the context of the entire show, for us as the viewer, mike's narrative arc surrounding the romantic aspect of his insecurity begins with his season one "romance" with el.

and we know that this insecurity is an element of the full five-act narrative, rather than being presented and wrapped in the course of the mini "self contained" narrative of season one, because we can see plainly, three seasons later, particularly during mike's heart-to-hearts with will, that this insecurity has not yet been resolved. we know this, on a basic level, from having watched mike and el's relationship struggles progress, but it is still explicitly laid out for us in season four. and will is consistently the only person who genuinely hears mike out, encourages him to open up, and addresses his insecurities, instead of brushing him off, like most other people in his life (including will at some points) have done. will understands him in a way el only claimed to in season one.

looking back to the character outline: mike has now "kiss[ed] a girl" and even "had a girlfriend" and still hasn't resolved his insecurities even remotely. in fact, after the first season arc wraps up, this romantic relationship becomes the main source of that insecurity. his difficulty navigating a real romantic relationship with el is the basis of their arc in season three. and by season four, mike is consciously struggling with being unable to tell el that he loves her. despite will's reassurances that things will be okay (which stack onto lucas' constant relationship advice in season three), mike keeps circling back around to it. because he can't move forward on the path he is on.

he has reached a point of no return, like a “fight you can’t come back from.” he is unable to find the security he is searching for in his romantic relationship with el... and this is where we arrive back at the van scene with will.

if the scene in the woods marks the beginning of the introduction of mike's romantic arc, then the scene in the van marks the beginning of the conclusion of mike's romantic arc. if the introduction of his romantic arc (season one) presents his insecurity, then the natural conclusion of that arc (season five) is security. throughout season four, mike lays out for will the insecurity that his relationship with el still brings him. he is unable to find that security with el, and, in the van scene, finds it with will instead.

or, should i say, begins the journey to finding it. because, especially after the lie that brings them into that moment, and then traumatic pizza dough freezer incident, we're still at the beginning of the conclusion. there's still a lot to resolve, but season four (alongside mike, who now understands what he's been going through) finally began moving the subtext of mike's arc into the actual text. and this moment indicates that season five will take that next step to fully, textually, actualizing it.

so, getting back to the parallel we're looking at here: each of these scenes is a catalyzing moment in mike's romantic arc. in season one, when lucas suggests that mike has a crush on el, and then what follows is a conversation with el where she is (to quote lucas) "not grossed out" by him, he actively begins his journey toward resolving this character motivating insecurity. he looks at el and he sees the possibility of romance.

and just look at him. he looks excited. hopeful. a little nervous. but... i want to remind you again: mike has known el for less than 48 hours at this point. this is the first conversation they've had in which they've related to each other as equals. for their entire relationship before this and afterward, outside of their romantic interactions (and also. often. disturbingly. concurrent with their romantic interactions...), mike's role has been as el's protector, a makeshift father figure, the elliot to her E.T. here, though, el tells mike that she understands him.

in season one, mike is twelve years old (read: pre-pubescent). he has no personal understanding of or experience with romance. dustin starts to comment in s1e2, "you're letting a girl...?" and ted later scoffs "our son with a girl?" and outside of the queer coding, what we can take from both of these (which draw back to the original character description) is that mike has no experience with girls whatsoever. (outside of, you know. family. but that's not what this post is about.)

and again, this scene happens almost directly after lucas first introduces the idea of romance between them, both to the narrative, and to mike himself, who, very significantly, up until this point, has shown no romantic interest in el. the sequence of these events is not a coincidence. 1. lucas assumes mike has romantic feelings for el. 2. el and mike have a moment of personal connection and understanding 3. mike "boys only" wheeler puts these two together and assumes the connection between them must be romance. but the expression on mike's face here isn't a representation of already existing romantic feelings. there's no basis for those. again, this moment represents for mike the potential for romance.

which... makes his expression in the van scene hit even harder. because unlike el, will isn't a stranger he barely knows, but rather his best friend of ten years. and it isn't lucas telling mike how mike feels. it's will professing his own feelings about mike, in direct response to mike's self-professed insecurities. (ding ding ding, are your alarm bells going off?) mike's expression at the end of this scene, if we're viewing it as a reprise of his season one expression, is a representation of hope for his romantic future. but this time, heading into the resolution of mike's romantic arc, with all of the knowledge and context we (and mike) have gained over the course of the past four seasons, it's directed at will.

ok. so. with the basic connection between these two scenes established, i'm gonna move a little bit sideways here. at the end of their romantic arc in season one, el disappears from mike's life and will reappears in it, effectively swapping their places (remember that we've been dealing with the mistaken identity trope between these two), and leaving the question of mike's romantic security glaringly unresolved.

and we know why - this is a five act narrative we're watching - but just within the context of the season one arc... the climactic moment of mike finally asking the girl to be his sister kissing the girl was preceded by her locating will in the upside down (leading to his rescue) and followed by a resolution in which she disappeared... and will took her place. at the end of the season, mike is left in the same place he started: playing games in his basement with will, his first attempt to resolve his arc of romantic insecurity, with el, ultimately ending in tragedy.

after season one, this arc picks up again, but this time will is the one present in mike's life. and mike's behaviors toward el in season one, during which they were undergoing a romantic story arc, begin showing up again in his behavior toward will. but unlike with el, mike's particular (read: romantic) behavior toward will happens without outside intervention, and in fact, often in spite of outside intervention. now, this isn't to say that all of mike's behavior with el was a result of others' influence. when el reveals to mike that she is on the run from "bad people," mike is immediately protective and caring toward her. however, as i've already explained, this caring behavior (which, again, we know right off the bat is not romantic because it directly mirrors the way both benny and hopper care for her) doesn't turn into romantic behavior until lucas introduces that idea.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, right from episode one of season one, mike's behavior toward will is fully self motivated, even in the face of opposition.

and as we move through season one and beyond, we can see that mike continues to rely on constant guidance in the way he cares about el (particularly and most consistently from lucas).

stranger things is, at it's horror filled core, a coming of age tale. like many of our other characters, mike's full character arc, romantic and otherwise, is about self-actualization. from the very conception of the show, his insecurity is presented as a central character flaw to overcome, while also being directly linked with his romantic fulfillment. the overcoming of this fatal flaw, the resolution of his romantic arc, and his final achievement of self-actualization are all inextricably intertwined.

the reprisal of this specific expression of romantic hope as we enter the end of mike's romantic arc is not an indication that mike is in the same place emotionally at the end of season four as he was at the beginning of season one, just with a different person now. instead, it is an indication of his romantic arc coming full circle. mike began in a position of hope for his romantic future with el, only to have the actualization of that hope (their romantic relationship) gradually degrade his romantic fulfillment and self-esteem. the longer mike and el are together, and the more serious their romantic relationship becomes, the worse mike's insecurities become. this is, i would argue, directly related to the fact that mike's pursuit of a romantic relationship with el is not due to his own genuine desire, but instead a combined result of heteronormativity (lucas assuming mike's feelings for el to be romantic), compulsive heterosexuality (mike's subsequent assumption that his feelings for el must be romantic), forced conformity (mike's attempt to resolve his insecurities firmly within these heteronormative boundaries, under the assumption that a rejection of these boundaries is unacceptable), and the trope of mistaken identity that has been following will and el since season one.

and of course i don't know with any concrete certainty what season five will contain, but based on the narrative so far, and optimistically expecting a satisfying resolution to his character arc, the actualization of his romantic hope regarding will is going to lead to true romantic fulfillment and coincide with his self-actualization (a big part of which is coming to terms with his sexuality).

now, i'm not going to conclude this whole analysis by saying, "and that's why mike is gay!" because while i think this all is a good indication of that, based on all of the context and my impression that this narrative is being presented in a way that focuses on the subtext and deeper symbolism of each of these relationships rather than being a case of specifically el vs. will, you might still have a different interpretation than me. that's fine. however, i am going to end by insisting (me when i argue with the wall), based on everything i've laid out, that this parallel and others like it (ie parallels between byler & miIeven's romantic arcs) are not evidence of mike's feelings, specifically whether they are genuinely romantic or not. this parallel serves as a narrative device in his romantic character arc... the conclusion of which is mike realizing and coming to terms with the fact that he is actually in love with will, and not el.

just to be very clear, i'm not saying these parallels alone are proof against mike being bisexual, but i am saying that they are not evidence in support of his being bisexual. again: they do not indicate that mike is romantically attracted to el. what they indicate is that will and el are foils in mike's romantic arc.

before i finish, i want to address a couple misconceptions:

1. the fact that mike actively and willingly participates in a romantic relationship with a woman means he can’t be gay. this is straight up homophobia. gold star bullshit. no.

2. mike and el being presented in a romantic light means that they have genuine romantic feelings for each other. this is a misconception of the way narrative tools are used to tell a story. going right back to my first point: it is an irrefutable fact that many gay people have romantic relationships with the people of different genders (read “the opposite sex”) before they come out/realize their true sexuality. it is also a fact that many of these gay people fully believe their feelings to be genuinely romantic before realizing that they are not. as i've already gone over, mike is twelve years old when his romantic arc begins. on the surface, his relationship with el is presented as romantic. he participates in (and even initiates) romantic behaviors because he believes that his feelings for el are romantic. in seasons one and two, mike is one of our main POV characters. we can see a romantic tilt to the way some of their scenes are shot because, to mike, while they are happening, they are romantic (keeping in mind what i said before about mike having no experience and therefore no personal knowledge informing his perspective, AND keeping in mind that many of these on-the-surface "romantic" scenes are also consistently subtextually linked (read: paralleled) to familial relationships for both of them... and i haven't even touched the cultural context surrounding homosexuality in 80's. there's so much nuance informing the way this story is being told). and we, as the audience, are supposed to read them as romantic on first viewing, because otherwise the season five plot twist, revealing the truth of mike's feelings, would not work.

it is not a coincidence that the active degradation of their romantic relationship (outside of all of the other context, parallels, symbolism, family coding, etc, that are there to hint along the way that things are not as they might seem) begins full force in season three, at the exact point when the two actually enter a real relationship for the first time, and also when our characters are entering puberty, the time during which a person's sexuality (in a general sense, but also in regard to sexual orientation) begins to fully emerge. after his season one arc with el, mike underwent another season-long romantic arc: this time, with will. it's more subtle, because (i believe) mike doesn't realize yet that it's romantic, but it's there. then at the end of season two, mike makes a choice: he encourages will to dance with a girl and he dances with el, re-writing their tragic ending from season one, but now leaving his romantic arc with will frustratingly unresolved, again mirroring the sense of unresolution from season one: mike has swapped out the end of each romantic arc with the wrong love interest.

and then in season three, now having had the experience of both romantic arcs, and now, for the first time, with both will and el right there beside him, all we can see anymore is the overt contrast between the two relationships, depicted most blatantly through the same type of visual and narrative "parallel" we've been looking at here.

but at the end of this season, instead of making a choice, mike's choice is made for him. he has a romantic moment with will, and then el kisses him, confusing the resolution of these two romantic arcs once again.

mike's season four arc closely mirrors his season one arc (searching for one love interest with the other by his side, mistaken identity trope abound), but with important distinctions: 1. mike is a little older, a lot more experienced, and has a better understanding of both the context of romantic relationships and the scope of his feelings for both el and will. and 2. mike's only real guidance in season four comes from will, and he doesn't simply listen and act based on will's advice, as he did with lucas' in seasons 1&3. now, he fully engages with will's input, pushing back against it when he doesn't agree, and accepting it when he can acknowledge its truth (up until, of course, our fourth (and hopefully final) tragic, incorrectly resolved ending). mike is finally taking control of his romantic narrative in a way he hasn't previously, and the direction it's heading in now is toward security, self-actualization, and will.

so the point of all of this is: nothing is as simple or straightforward as it may seem on the surface. the narrative has always been deeply complex and layered with subtext and symbolism. and most of all, when interpreting the meaning of anything presented directly to us on screen, context matters.

also uh. yeah, mike gay

[gemsofthegalaxy]

really hope that the scene with Greg and Ewan after the funeral is in the deleted scenes !!

it also makes me sad for some of the other things that were cut between them as well.

I think it's very interesting how toys and animals get brought up here. Maybe I'm being an insane gif-comber, pepe silvia ass, but... The scripts strongly implies that Greg and Ewan bonded over animals and animal welfare, but this was also used as a weapon against Greg to get him to do what Ewan wanted, and the fingerprints of this are left in canon. It's so fucking interesting and also we were robbed.

Greg in the scripts is a Zoology major, which implies he likes animals to some degree, or was he trying to gain approval from his grandfather, who cares more about animals than about his grandson- Greg in the scripts was sent animal gore by his grandfather in an effort to make him stop using disposable razors.

In their last deleted scenes, which is a fight between them with Greg accusing Ewan of disliking him and Ewan accusing Greg of being ungrateful and not wanting to spend time with him, they discuss the activities they did when Greg was a kid. Ewan says "i took you fishing and you hurt a frog" which to me is a very interesting set of two things.... fishing kills the fish, and he was the one who brought Greg to do that, but then seems to be accusing him of being cruel to animals, which, again, is a motif that was embedded between them but mostly did not make the cut.

Then the conversation switches more to material possessions, which I also have a lot to say about, but I'll get there in a second. After talking about toys, Ewan says he bought Greg a book about birds. Another animal thing, that Greg probably had a genuine interest in, and out of all the stuff that was said, this brings Greg to a standstill.

With all of this, it feels so much more pointed that Ewan uses Greenpeace, which fights for the environment and the natural world, as a punishment for Greg choosing Waystar, Logan, and "capitalism" over him and his/their shared apparent love of animals. And Greg being willing to sue Greenpeace back (although I am still not sure if, like, Greg actually got anywhere with that or was just saying it to be a brat mostly) is just.... woof.

More about the material possessions stuff under the cut.

First. Just like to point out. Greg in canon was willing to drive 24 hours to get his grandfather simply because Ewan doesn't like to fly for environmental reasons, and seemed excited to spend a bunch of time with him. Ewan in the scripts accuses Greg of "never coming to see him" which Greg disputes.

Ewan in the scripts deprived Greg of very typical material possessions such as TV and power wheels, and in canon says that "thinking one's work is so important is akin to mental illness" or something along those lines. Greg in the scripts throws ideas of "productivity" in his face because he knows his grandfather is anticapitalist.... but, again, I ask, what does Ewan think the alternative is, for Greg? He was sitting on money for him but both Marianne and Greg had very little money, and Marianne was implied to be irresponsible with money thus he can't have taught her how to manage it because he, what, wants to pretend he already lives in a world where it doesn't exist?

I've pointed out before and this deleted scene corroborates! In my opinion, Ewan seemingly tried to make sure Greg was not materialistic as a person, and instead created outright scarcity of both material goods AND affection. Greg doesn't think Ewan even likes him! and Ewan can barely insist he does. He says "i liked you well enough" you would think a parental figure, a grandpa, would say "i love you" or "of course i like you" but those are too strong of statements because Ewan is entirely emotionally unavailable.

You could argue he saw how spoiled Logan's kids were and didn't want his own turning out like that, but it's insane for him to think that the solution, then, is just give them literally nothing and that will work out well? Especially when they KNOW you have millions of dollars you're sitting on, it's asking to be resented and that's not even the angle Greg takes with him. Greg still fucking wants his love and his approval even more than his money. goddamn i get sad.

[sunhated-a]

Okay I got more questions…. (hope I’m not annoying you in any way. I’m the same guy who asked the nihilists question.)

This is more directed to muzans canon backstory.

So a observation, since one of narcissisms root causes is also being emotionally neglected as a child, i think that muzan was never giving enough emotional attention by his parents or anyone really.

But did he ever think about his past and know that he was abused in someway? Or did he just surpass everything about his times as a human that aren’t useful? Or did he just ignore it since it was a long time ago and he thinks it doesn’t really matter at this point?.. or does he not care about it?

Hello anon, I'm glad to see you back! And please, don't worry about annoying me with questions like these, I adore them. They are a huge reason why I made this blog so feel free to come and ask anything whenever.

NOW! To answer your question. For canon Muzan? I absolutely think you're onto something there. I don't know about diagnosing him with Narcissism as a personality disorder. NPD is a very complicated and extremely misunderstood disorder that should be approached with empathy and care. However! He does display some of the traits of what we colloquially call narcissism.

I think Muzan deludes himself into thinking that perfection is his own escape from his past. The way it reminds him of weakness, but the way that he forcibly makes his demons dependent on him does indicate a need to be needed, and his demands to be worshiped by them definitely comes across as someone who deeply craves attention, love and respect. To be seen as perfect in their eyes and nothing less. The way that lack of control over a situation or one of his demons will lead him into a rage, to the point that he is exacting and utterly merciless.

It all leads me to believe that he is deeply affected by his human life.

I went back to the extended flashback scene that we were given in the anime recently. And while Muzan did live in lavish conditions (especially for the time) and was surrounded by servants, we never actually saw any of his family members. We never really saw a scene between himself and his mother or father, or his siblings, or much of a relationship between him any anyone really. So it's not too much of a reach to say that he did suffer from emotional neglect, or some sort of abandonment. Which would explain his resentful and hateful feelings towards much of the world.

Now why he seemed to face this abandonment-- if at all-- is still up in the air. Maybe his parents just weren't sure how long he'd be alive for, maybe they didn't want to get attached, maybe they sucked, maybe they're dead. It could be a lot of factors there.

I think that while canon Muzan remembers his past with stunning clarity, he engages with it with the same cold logic he does with everything else. If he has some resentment towards his family, he doesn't seem to show it. Didn't even mention them whenever he narrated his own story.

I, however, think Muzan's past affects him deeply still. He just doesn't show it. Or at the very least, in an outward way. He's far too fixated on his future to really think back on his past, and the person that he once was. Maybe he isn't even aware of how neglect and abandonment has affected him because he shows a lack of introspection throughout the series, especially when it comes to his relationships to others.

But we do see him display a deep fear of abandonment at the end of the manga, which I won't get into detail to avoid specific spoilers, but if you know you know.

But it lends credence to the idea that Muzan never had any substantial relationships.

[pocketgalaxies]

okay i have a confession...i never liked ashton...i tried, especially when we found out he has chronic pain and a legitimate reason for being an asshole...but i just can't get on board with him and often roll my eyes at his scenes. and that last convo with laudna made me so frustrated bc it seemed like he was totally emotionally dismissive and wanted to play the "i had it worse" olympics. i've never disliked a cr character before and i don't know what to do about it. any advice? or anything that you particularly like about ashton that could help me get on board a little?

hi anon thanks for asking! unfortunately i can't help you a huge amount because i also! have never liked ashton and have historically had trouble finding reasons to like them. but i will try my best to help

well the first thing i'd say is i don't think you need to find reasons to get on board with ashton. interrogating your feelings about a character is always good to take in the full depth of their behavior, but if you go through that whole process and you STILL don't like them then maybe they just aren't your cup of tea. which is totally valid and acceptable!!! and i know it's not easy to dislike something about a show you love so much, but i'd say just try and sit with that and tell yourself that you're allowed. there are so so many fish in the cr sea and you're far from expected to love each one

that being said if you still want to hear my thoughts here they are! (it got very very long)

i've seen a few people mentioning that ashton might've intentionally started that conversation with laudna because he knew she specifically would be in the position to shoot them down. a sort of self-inflicted scolding, i think. watching the ep, i also got the sense that he was intentionally trying to upset her by bluntly phrasing things to dig into her trauma and i think it makes sense based on what we know about them. maybe he wanted someone to yell at him and tell him he's being weak (in a lot of ways similar to early-c2 caleb's pervasive self-hatred driving him to intentionally seek out places/people with which he is made to feel like shit). or maybe he needed someone else to look him in the eye and tell him "stop hiding and let the people around you help you." maybe they needed a reason to say out loud that they're only with the hells bc they're using them, because that's the only way they can hear themself and how ridiculous and false that sounds. who knows! regardless, i think it's uninformed to say that tal wasn't doing this on purpose. it means something, and it opened up something that will most certainly have some growth and ultimately resolution later

this is kinda separate but we could also get into the details of his word choice, like what did he mean by "i know a loneliness that you don't" was he just talking about a certain kind of loneliness that he perceives to be distinct from the loneliness that many other of the party members have experienced? (worth pointing out that bells hells is a party full of people defined by their loneliness in many ways. food for unrelated thought) is it true that ashton's loneliness is unique to them and no one else in the party? is it even meaningful to put people's loneliness into different boxes? how has loneliness affected the way they distance themself from some people vs. the way they latch protectively onto other people? maybe those questions are of interest to you!

i think ashton is a very meaty character with a lot of complicated stuff going on and tal loves to create characters like this, characters defined by arrogance or a self-aggrandizing belief in their own suffering, or characters who are intentionally and unrelentingly abrasive. they become likable and compelling because of the underlying context and past and often conflicting and changing behavior over time.

it's just that those types of characters will always be a little polarizing, and i personally have a LOT of trouble enjoying tal's characters, because that's just my personal preference. they are complicated and juicy but they historically just do not do it for me. i was very incensed by that conversation with laudna because i am a laudna stan above all else and i thought ashton was being Awful to her, even if i can understand that they knew they were being awful and had reasons to be that way. the important thing is that i recognize it's a double-standard in my own mind and i know that about myself, and i'm not being a willingly narrow-minded jerk to the fans who like ashton and were thrilled by the convo. but i don't have to feel forced to like them and read/reblog meta about how sad they actually are etc etc. you know what i mean?

anyway at the risk of going on a tangent where i complain about that convo for no real reason related to your question, i will stop talking now. hope this helps in some way or another! your feelings are valid and you definitely are not alone in struggling with this character, if the posts and tags i've seen the past few days are any indication. just be nice to people and it will be all good. cr characters are fictional but cr fans are not <3

[thickenmyblood]

Hello! Since we’re nearing the end of HIUH, I was wondering if we’ll see Laurent’s behavior addressed in the same way Damen’s has been? I can’t wait to find out what’s going on behind the scenes, because with the limited POV we get, it feels like Laurent kinda got away with his abuse towards Damen (though I know there must be more going on that we don’t see!) Like, while Damen loses all his friends, loses Nicaise for a while, becomes seriously depressed, it’s hard to find the hints where Laurent is similarly affected and in regret of his own behavior. Is the focus of HIUH just more on Damen’s behavior since he’s the narrator? I might be misreading things, but it feels like Laurent was abusive towards Damen their whole relationship, either in taking advantage of his money at the beginning (without Damen knowing this was Laurent’s intention, in contrast to a berencel dynamic) or verbally/emotionally abusing him later on. Laurent was totally valid in wanting to protect Nicaise and breaking up for that reason, but it makes me sad that Damen never felt he should break up with Laurent or that he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Even at this point in HIUH, it feels like Damen, Laurent, and all of Laurent’s friends feel or act like Damen deserved that abuse because of his shortcomings. Maybe Laurent regrets it and is trying to improve himself, but it’s hard watching Damen be painted as the “bad guy” by other characters while Laurent, who genuinely abused him, is seen as the one who got “free” from Damen and is the one who gets a new relationship, support from his friends, etc. Even for a a character who can be “unjustifiably mean,” it’d be nice for someone else to call him out on it. Future chapters will probably make me rethink this interpretation, I’m sure! I’m just hopeful that if Laurent’s behavior was abusive in the way it seems, there’ll be space in your story to address it. Thanks for such a wonderful, interesting narrative :)

hello! you are not the first or only person who has asked me about this. I have chosen to reply to this particular ask because it touches on many issues and makes it "easier" for me to reply. now, my explanation:

1. will we see Laurent's behavior be addressed in the same way damen's has been?

I cannot promise the EXACT same level of detail because it did take me +260k words to get Damen here, but yes. Laurent's behavior will be addressed. however, Laurent's behavior has already been addressed multiple times throughout the fic by multiple people. neo, nikandros, and nicaise, to name a few. damen being dismissive of other characters' concerns does not mean the concerns have not been voiced.

2. was Laurent abusive towards Damen? what was the extent of that abuse? is Laurent an abuser?

as you can imagine, this is a complicated set of questions to answer because this is a sensitive topic. if you look at the list of trigger warnings on the fic, it is hard to miss the line that reads "verbal and emotional abuse". and so . . .

yes, I believe there were many moments throughout their relationship where Laurent exhibited abusive traits. he enjoys having the upper hand, because that's how he feels most in control. he is, to some degree, a control freak (which ties back to that conversation neo and Damen had VERY early on about control and how kids who have been abused sometimes try to gain that control back through other mechanisms*). there have been some clues that his uncle really enjoyed making him feel stupid and naive and like he didn't know anything about the world, and I believe he felt so deeply ashamed about this fact that he now does everything in his power to make sure he is never in that position again, that he is never the stupid one. and so that leaves him only one (toxic) role to occupy: the role of he who humiliates and makes sure to remind the other person of their own stupidity and naivety.

that is, obviously, wrong. which is what a lot of other characters (even ANCEL) have told Damen. which is what Damen will eventually bring up to Laurent himself. which will inevitably fall short in the eyes of many readers.

right now (ch17 being the last chapter up or about to go up) both the readers and Damen have every reason to believe Laurent used Damen for his own economic gain. as nikandros not so kindly put it, Laurent needed a lawyer or someone who knew excellent lawyers, someone who could pay for the fees, someone who could help him make ends meet to stay alive. this WILL be addressed in the story.

what will also be addressed in the story is the good cop vs bad cop issue. this has been HEAVILY mentioned throughout the fic, but it's basically one of the many explanations for (some) of laurent's outbursts (note: am I excusing abuse? no. let me FINISH). damen always being the one that gets to parent the fun way, the one that gets nicaise over the weekend, the one that doesn't have to say no to things because that's laurent's job. . . that's a kind of damen that laurent has grown to resent. this IS a source of tension for them and cannot be ignored if you want to see the full picture.

what i also think is important to remember is that for some of their relationship damen was in a position of power (he had money, laurent did not). damen also made A LOT of hurtful, ignorant, dismissive comments to/about laurent and nicaise (was that verbal abuse? was that emotional abuse? was it not "systematic" enough to be abusive?). the point of all this is to say: it's a very complex issue because I did not write this in a black and white manner and so I can't reply to people who expect that kind of answer from me.

3. has Laurent changed?

well, yes. his change might be unnoticeable to some, but I believe so far I've been okay-ish with showing and not telling. if you look for change, you'll find it in every conversation. he is more willing and quick to accept his wrongs, to apologize, to compromise, to co-parent, to finally speak to Damen about things he previously kept to himself both bc he knew Damen did not wish to know them and bc he himself was not ready to share them.

these final chapters will definitely show the most open version of Laurent that i have ever written. hopefully you'll understand every single choice he made (not CONDONE IT, but UNDERSTAND IT).

at this point, it's impossible for me to change some people's opinion of him. if you think he's a piece of shit that deserves to be burned at the stake, that's valid and I'm not here to throttle that interpretation out of your head. that's the beauty of writing and reading — I do my thing, and I let you do yours.

4. good guy vs. bad guy: which one is Damen and which one is Laurent?

there are no good guys and bad guys here, no villains and no heroes. every single character in this story is meant to suck as hard as real people suck, but also to be as giving and amazing as real people are. if you go into this story looking for a team to root for, you've missed my point entirely.

sometimes I struggle with enemies to lovers or getting back together or morally ambiguous character tropes. it seems to me that people who enjoy those stories oftentimes want the characters to be unlikeable up to a degree, you know? "you can suck in this fake, laboratory-bound, inorganic way that I control carefully to make sure no one feels uncomfortable, but NO, of course you're not allowed to truly and thoroughly fucking suck. that's off-putting! that's offensive! that's amoral!" well I am an off-putting, degenerate, amoral writer that writes shit fiction for people that enjoy quite a lot of blood and poison in their romance. I'm not better than anyone else, but also not worse.

5. you didn't ask this, but I want to reply to it anyway. "maca, what happens if I read all 300k words and the ending was not what I wanted bc you didn't address XYZ in a way I thought appropriate and respectful? what happens if I wasted my time bc i don't want them to be together anymore, or i do but not like this? maca, what happens if the story ends and I STILL think your characterization of Laurent is shit and you twisted Damen into something he's not? and maca what—"

nothing. nothing happens. nothing will happen. you'll leave a comment saying you didn't like it. I'll read it from my bed or my home desk or my work desk. I'll nod along to some parts. I'll laugh at others. I'll probably text one of my friends and say "what" about a line or two. you'll be upset for a while, maybe a long time. you'll write more comments. or not. you'll find another fic that you like more, that didn't disappoint you. you'll leave them a nicer comment. or not. you'll tweet something like "what a shit fic what a shit writer what a shit overall waste of my time". some people will retweet it. I'll see it, probably (i can't seem to escape stuff like that, for some reason). I'll agree. time will pass. you'll move to a different fandom. or not. you'll read better things, worse things, similar things. you'll forget. you'll misremember. you'll remember and feel rage. you'll leave another comment. or not. you'll move on. life will move on, too.

it was never that important, after all. just another fic you didn't like, or didn't get, or didn't read all the way to the end. all will be well, you'll see.

*WHICH IS NOT TO SAY ALL ABUSED KIDS BECOME ABUSERS. DO NOT TWIST MY WORDS OKAY. I'M SAYING FOR THIS VERY SPECIFIC STORY/AS AN ECHO OF CANON IT IS NOT INSANE TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS AND PRESENT THESE ISSUES.

[wingsfreedom]

The Gladiator 300th Chapter Celebration Event

I went off the model in order to write a post that can better express my feelings. (So sorry in advance to @kigozula)

What make you stick to the story so far? I'll start with shorter lines then longer ones.

It's based on the original but it doesn't try imitate it: instead the work has it's own identity. And yet it remains one of, if not the most faithful, attentive and respectful adaption of canon I've seen. Two birds with one stone.

It's so satisfyingly coherent, consistent and connected.

It follows reason and isn't too much over the top.

It's very creative with the concepts and has unexpected plot twists that keep me invested.

The events that spread through the story make for an engaging world-buliding and make the universe feels alive.

The author doesn't hate-write the characters they dislike in canon which was a pleasant surprise to see these characters being handled with care.

Since this deserves it's own point again: for once, Zuko is a likable character.

The love between the romantic couples is real and not something left for interpretation.

I never expected to find great battle scenes so that was another pleasant surprise and left me overwhelmed with excitement.

Sokka/Azula, how their bond affects them and how they affect the world around them is the heart that leads the story. In other words, the world doesn't revolve around them, instead they lead the world.

I don't know how to explain it and I may not have payed enough attention to everything but I like the story's take on morality. Bad deeds aren't overlooked, there are consequences, someone can be human is 100% a terrible person, a good person can be human and yet have darkness in their souls. I like the complexity.

I'm not an expert on this topic to say the story's take on slavery was handled with the care necessary but I can see it's being handled seriously and I really appreciated it wasn't swapped under the rug as an edgy setup for romance.

The story takes friendships seriously! It doesn't look down on friendship or consider it a bond not worth developing which is really wholesome.

I like Azula's side of the story in Part 3, maybe I have word it better in the review but I like how it's about not giving up against the extremely difficult odds and finding light and warmth in the darkest times -- I was naturally driven towards the source of that light and warmth which was in Azula's room and Sokka's small group.

It treats women's issues pretty well imo; love, pregnancy, marriage, domestic problems, controlling fathers who care about their image more than their own daughters -- they're not downplayed and the abusers face consequences.

The character writing make me emotionally invested in the characters even in the ones I'm not actively interested in but I still enjoy reading about them all the same (even in small scenes like that of Longshot, the way he spoke give him personality, and Ursa's parents were funny too).

I appreciate how the dark topics were handled tastefully (unlike GoT or Overlord) -- while some scenes make me feel greatly disturbed, the narrative doesn't spend great lengths to make you feel sick and this precisely what make them more effective or impactful (the public executions, the pregnancy and abortion discussions, the examination and the one night stand...ect, I felt disturbed even while listing these).

ATLA has my favorite power system in all of fiction because of the realistic martial arts combined with the chakras/wheels system of yoga... and so I enjoyed the expansion here by the introduction of the gold fire, fire resonance, special fire forging metal give it special properties, adding mysterious lightbending and the corruption system (or casting a shadow over the elements)

And, of course, I can't neglect the reason I started this story for: Azula. This is my favorite take on her character so far that I won't even bother with anything else at this point (and because I'm pretty much done with this franchise/fandom as well)

Original characters

Rei: I like how her character is about creating a meaningful life out seemingly meaningless existence or rather start

Shaofeng: I just appreciate the fact that this is the first time I read about a villain who managed to be more irredeemable than Ozai himself yet an effective element in the story. We haven't seen what is his true deal yet but I'm looking forward to uncover his mystery.

Seezu: I like the gloomy aesthetics and the power set (it's very unique, though morbid). It was also funny how his cleaning skills were better than his assassination skills (in FLS arc at least). And he's surprisingly, weirdly endearing in a sense too, not gonna lie. I hope that doesn't change.

The Quiz:

• Name of the first Gladiator Sokka fought against? Spawn of Volcano (I still remember the funny exchange: Chan "oh no my Spawn's in trouble" Azula "why do you call him your spawn? Is he your child or something" still makes me laugh

• How many years are Azula and Sokka a couple now? 5 or 6 years (since Azula picked Sokka as her gladiator)

• Which character found out about Azula and Sokka’s secret relationship first? Toph (edit: and Rui Shi!! But since he didn't have a name yet back then it was so easy for him to slip lol)

• Which character felt something might be going on/will be going on between Sokka and Azula from the beginning? Piandao and Lo & Li

• What’s the name of Ozai’s first love? Ozai's first, Ursa's second

• What was the first Gladiator event Azula and Sokka took part in? The Fire Fountain City event when Sokka knocked Ozai's statue over.

• How often did the Blue Wolf fight in the Slate? Two times. Against the second-ranked gladiator and against Yang's wife.

• Who would have almost been the potential future prince? 🤔 there have been 4 princes already plus Zhao currently which make them 5. So do you mean a person unrelated to the fire royals? Any potential suitor for Azula. Kuan the Obnoxious (affectionate), Hahn the Obnoxious (derogatory), Aonu sponsor of the second-ranked gladiator and Chan.

• How old was Aang when he was forced to freeze himself and Appa? This is a good question. I think it must have been stated somewhere in the South Pole chapters which I wasn't as interested in them as I was in Sokkla's side of the story but after some pondering my guess would be 18 years old.

Anyway, there isn't always much I can say about a fanfiction but I think Seyary is a great story teller and I wish a future with more accomplishments for her.

[mikuni14]

Step by Step Ep 9, the one that hurt me

The last episode of Step by Step was very difficult for me emotionally and I even had to stop watching it several times. At first I didn't know what was so disturbing to me and why I felt such a surge of dislike for Pat, but as soon as I slightly shifted my perspective, it became clear to me what was triggering me so much throughout the episode. My first clue was my first reaction toPat in episode 8, to his reaction to Jeng coming out. Tbh, I was already furious at the time, though I tried to contain my anger, thinking that maybe I was exaggerating, and everyone defended Pat so much in this scene, so I thought ok, whatever, I guess I’m overreacting 😉

But. Imagine you are gay ✨ Imagine that you meet someone at your workplace and immediately fall in love with them. From then on, you spend your time thinking only about that person and trying to get close to that person. YOU CHANGE for that person. You forgive this person EVERYTHING. You actively find new reasons to spend time with this person. This person's social media account is the only one you like. You help that person whenever you can. You do many things with this person, including the most controversial, like sleeping in the same bed, that you don't do with anyone else. This person usually responds positively to you (I'll come back to this later, why this doesn't prove anything, which Jeng doesn't understand and is making a colossal error in his reasoning). And suddenly, one evening, this person finds out you're gay. Just the fact that you had to say it is devastating because you thought your intentions and sexual orientation were clear.

And then something happens that, from the perspective of a person coming out, is the most cruel. And THAT’S what got me depressed so much. Imagine you are coming out to a person you work with. And the first reaction of this person is to treat it as a joke - as if talking about it was funny, and the second reaction is some kind of cosmic, disporportionate to the situation SHOCK, including falling to the floor 🙃 And then it gets worse. This person TOTALLY CUTS YOU OFF. This person doesn't reply to your texts, doesn't contact you AT ALL, although you had good relationship before. This person starts to AVOID YOU. And when you try to talk, their body language, behavior, words, facial expressions express fear, disgust and a desire to get out of this conversation as soon as possible. And this person is asking you to STOP doing everything you used to do: hanging out, having meals, just being together. And when in a last act of desperation you try to explain that your intentions are sincere, that you’re in LOVE, you get rejected, doubted and that person runs off crying like you've done the worst thing in the world and you're some kind of creep, or worse.

Imagine that everything is ok and one day everything becomes terrible because you come out.

And the worst part is that you've seen this person in a same-sex relationship, so the problem must be YOU.

All of Pat's behavior towards Jeng, his unconscious cruelty and childishness, his inability to talk like an adult to another adult, the fact that as a gay man he SHOULD know how Jeng must feel after this sudden cut off and coldness of their relationship after coming out - all this makes me hate Pat and his selfishness. Pat made a whole scene with his parents out of being lost and not even remembering his birthday. But the truth is, Pat is incredibly focused on himself and his feelings, regardless of how his behavior may affect others. (and everyone would forget their birthdays if they drank as much as Pat, all the drunks I know didn't remember their birthdays or their spouses' or children's, dude, you're not that special)

I feel sorry for Jeng, but let’s be honest, he had it coming. Yes, Jeng acted so smitten, that only someone with zero sense of observation (like Pat) wouldn't notice. Like the fact that practically EVERYTHING Jeng did, he did ONLY WITH PAT, he didn't go to ikea with anyone else and he didn't invite ANYONE to bed, all of this should at least give him a pause or raise his eyebrow 😅 But even so, EVERYTHING Jeng and Pat did was always work related. Jeng was never really sincere about his intentions. He never invited Pat on a date at a restaurant, he just tricked him into it, buying a chair was related to work at home... It was never even a normal hanging out as friends do, let alone a date!

Jeng also never asked himself, WHAT I AM ASKING HIM FROM THE BEGINNING, whether his behavior towards Pat as a subordinate is appropriate. Dear Jeng, your offers to spend time together will ALWAYS have an accompanying question: is Pat agreeing to meet you sincere or forced by the difference in your corporate position? Does Pat agree to your invitations because he wants to spend time with you or because he's afraid of losing his job? Jeng NEVER addressed it. It never even crossed his mind! And ignoring rules that are meant for something, lack of sincerity, lack of transparency of intentions end up in a chaos, mess and tears. Jeng quits his job and is heartbroken, Pat suffers guilt and has a nervous breakdown. And I can't watch an episode in peace without feeling a knot in my stomach 😥

And I honestly don't know how long someone like Jeng will last in a relationship with someone like Pat. It’s already known that Pat functions somehow only thanks to the support of other ADULTS around him. He’s 25 and literally every person around him leads him by the hand through life, telling him what to do, including Jeng, I mean that’s so not hot! He reacts to any major (and also small) problem by running away and ignoring it. He cannot have a serious conversation without an emotional outbursts and running away - his other reaction is complete dissociation making everybody around worried. And worst of all, since Pat honestly didn't even think about whether he was hurting Jeng with his behavior, he's unlikely to think about it in the future either!  Jeng and Pat will definitely have relationship problems - like all couples do! And I want to know how many times will Jeng have to be the one who fixes everything and be the one who gives in and step back, be the adult, like he does all the time?

Anyway, kids, if someone tells you something personal, intimate about themselves, please don't be Pat. It hurts.

[mejomonster]

Moon Lovers Scarlet Heart Ryeo is SO good I feel like yall downplayed it to me??? Which is an accomplishment since I feel it got recced a Lot. But it was always a "great time but mess" idk maybe it's the kind of mess I love to pieces???

1. Better palace drama than The Crowned Clown (despite me loving that shows lead). Moon Lovers just does way more to characterize the individual princes, wives, princess, queen, and servants. Just overall way more solid nuanced (to the degree screen time allows) characterization in Moon Lovers (the crowned clown preferred atmosphere and main character only focus - which it did well its just not my preference, I prefer how much I care for All the characters in Moon Lovers versus caring for so few in TCC). And way better than The King's Affection in characterization, pacing, plot (but that drama let me down with a solid great premise, good actors, good comedy/serious balance, but plot that dragged then got lost and pacing issues)

2. GREAT MIX OF THE PEAK ROMANCE TROPES I ACTUALLY LIKE, AND ACTION ANGST SUSPENSE. All wrapped up in like I mentioned, excellent characterization. So like first, it's doing like Jade Palace Lock Heart and letting us get to know all the princes and queen and everyone, but unlike JPLH I feel this show is doing a fairly decent job to present pretty much everyone in a sympathetic light? Like if it were JPLH the princess would be pure evil (she'd be well characterized so we'd understand her, but we would not have any reason to care if she's okay) whereas Moon Lovers tries to give us her pov in that she feels powerless and wants to feel in control, wants to prove herself, has a loving family and that makes her naive almost of what power will cost her/require in sacrifice. In JPLH the husband falling for Soo would be evil af in the portrayal. It's emotionally Worse on me here lol in Moon Lovers, cause I actually FEEL his guilt and Soos guilt (versus JPLH where the villains are interesting but they sure af don't regret their cruel choices). So I really enjoy how this angle let's me connect to even the queen and her sons to a degree, in a way other palace dramas of this structure didn't really allow me. AND THEN LIKE I SAID ITS FULL OF TROPES I LOVE TO BITS

I didn't think I'd like Wook, but damn it he keeps getting genuine intimate scenes (also THIS IS HOW YOU BUILD ROMANCES! BY HAVING THE CHARACTERS GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER AND SHARE VULNERABLE HONEST MOMENTS AS THEMSELVES. Which makes this wonderful and not the annoying version where tropes show up like a machine to get the romance key scenes, rather than a cherry on top way to execute what would be a good romantic scene Already because it lets the characters connect. I loved So and Soo talking by the rocks, talking on the cliff as he ate, Wook and Soo talking about fears and killing men, even Wook and his wife get these nice intimate moments they chat alone and vulnerably! Heck even Soo and the young playful prince get a scene like this, and i appreciate it so much for character connection building!)

Then there's So. The "she belongs to me" "should I say my person then?" "I'm thinking about how you're not afraid of me" "remember to eat well, and try not to have bad dreams" the fucking meet cute of catching her from falling (that he caused!) Then holding her in his arms on a horse! Now THAT is an action romance trope. My preferred kind of romance lol! Or when the assassin grabs her, and she's scared he doesn't care if she dies, then the assassin dies so HE holds a sword to her, and Wook saves her from him. That's like!!! He's not the villain but because of introductory meetings like THAT he's definitely got the bad boy villain/heroine vibe going on and it is Very Hot

Meanwhile I love playful prince, I think fight prince is interesting, it would be funny as hell to me if one of them makes a serious move on Soo.

Meanwhile I hope the Wook wife gets to marry the younger prince who clearly loves her...

I'm only on ep 4 no spoilers please! I'm enjoying the ride!

Anyway I LOVE this show so far so fucking good best period kdrama ive ever seen

[ice-sculptures]

TWS anon, who also sent the previous ask: I literally typed out a whole thing about how CW SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN AVENGERS MOVIE!!!! But I deleted it because I didn’t know if you wanted a rant in your inbox atm.

It ALSO should have waited until Marvel was able to introduce mutants into the MCU since the Mutant Registration Act was the start of it. Not only Steve’s WWII experiences but also his experiences as a disabled person, vs Tony’s experiences (don’t know him as well) feels like it boils down to Steve’s fight for freedom vs Tony’s fight for security.

Even more crucially, I don’t feel like we got to see Steve and Tony/the avengers very emotionally close. I didn’t feel the emotional tension they were trying to convey, EXCEPT with Steve & Nat and Nat and Clint. If it’s a Civil War, then it should have been heartbreaking seeing EVERYONE choose sides.

but of course, we can’t let our heroes be emotionally vulnerable because they’re ToughTM. They can have a little in their own movies, as a treat, but we MUST be constantly snarking as a group. (While there is an argument for “that’s how guys show affection!” It still feels shallow because the variety of interactions seems to be snark/joke or fighting. Maybe I’m simplifying it but anyway!)

TL:DR, the MCU would have benefited from going a little slower and letting CA:3 and CW be their own movies so we could see the relationships grow and thus have more emotional impact when they fell apart.

P.S. If we got a third Cap movie, then maybe we could have had a chance for Clint to show his loyalty like the script had planned for him in CA:TWS. Still so sad that they couldn’t film it bc of scheduling conflicts.

Even more crucially, I don’t feel like we got to see Steve and Tony/the avengers very emotionally close. I didn’t feel the emotional tension they were trying to convey, EXCEPT with Steve & Nat and Nat and Clint. If it’s a Civil War, then it should have been heartbreaking seeing EVERYONE choose sides. but of course, we can’t let our heroes be emotionally vulnerable because they’re ToughTM. They can have a little in their own movies, as a treat, but we MUST be constantly snarking as a group. (While there is an argument for “that’s how guys show affection!” It still feels shallow because the variety of interactions seems to be snark/joke or fighting. Maybe I’m simplifying it but anyway!)

you know what. the thing that made me finally quit on marvel three whole years after endgame failed me is the utmost lack of sincerity in those films. thor: love and thunder (my final straw) was two hours of nothing but wisecracks and quips and it didn't have a single moment where i genuinely felt anything. the storyline was nonsensical, yes, but the complete lack of heart eclipsed that entirely. none of the relationships in that movie were well written and nothing about the story felt like it really mattered. it's like marvel has forgotten how to write a comedic story with any kind of depth to it, and it's such a shame because that was a real hallmark of their earlier films and a big part of why the franchise took off the way it did in the first place.

like...take steve and bucky. do they joke around? yes. are they able to laugh together? of course!! but the reason why their relationship has always been so beloved to viewers is because of all of the heart and tenderness packed into their scenes together. TFA made sure that the entire audience knew how much they sincerely love each other, platonic or not, and it's why all of the emotional moments in the later films between steve & bucky work so well — because their very first movie did such a good job setting the stage and its excellent sequel only elevated that relationship.

the majority of the relationships in the MCU don't have that, and it's why civil war didn't have the stakes that it could have had — because they just rushed through their development and then threw them into a conflict that hadn't had enough time to properly brew. they just…didn’t give anything the breathing room it deserved and the movie suffered for it. i’ve been thinking about the final fight between steve, tony, and bucky and ngl. the last bit of dialogue, the scene that’s supposed to be the emotional climax of the movie — “he’s my friend” / “so was i” — and it’s almost comical how flat it fell in the larger context of the movie, because how can you even compare those two relationships?

and i don’t even mean this from a biased point of view, i just…how can you compare a century of trust and friendship to what is essentially a colleague relationship between steve and tony? i don’t doubt that they respect one another and work well together and held each other in high regard before the events of the movie, but marvel just didn’t do the legwork of giving them that many genuine and sincere moments that would establish a real friendship that you’d root for. i wish tbis wasn’t the case, but we just didn’t get the kind of relationship that would make a fight between the two of them as devastating as it was supposed to be.

P.S. If we got a third Cap movie, then maybe we could have had a chance for Clint to show his loyalty like the script had planned for him in CA:TWS. Still so sad that they couldn’t film it bc of scheduling conflicts.

on the subject of loyalty i still ultimately think it's ridiculous that they had tony hire peter to join him despite peter not having any idea at all what the fight was about. also t’challa simply being on team iron man because he wanted to kill bucky rather than him genuinely supporting tony’s perspective. the same thing goes for scott and to some extent clint on steve’s side….it all just felt like a very ham fisted excuse to shove as many characters into one film as possible — and yet they still left out bruce, whose point of view would’ve been invaluable here. Anyway. the movie would’ve been much more interesting if half the characters weren’t randomly thrown into either side and everyone had a genuine motivation for standing where they stood. but that’s too much for me to ask of a marvel movie ig 😔

[lonesomedreamer]

SNW Liveblog: “Spock Amok”

Vulcan! I’m always excited to see Vulcan.

Oh, this is a dream. Got it. Also, Ethan looks kind of hot as “human” Spock.

So in Spock’s dream, his human and Vulcan halves are embodied by two separate people who must to fight to the death (over T’Pring)…what a heavy-handed, very literal way to represent his insecurities.

lmfao @ this space station—I get updating certain designs now that they have the budget and technology to do so, but there’s no way they had this kind of tech in the 23rd century (as it was depicted in TOS), even in a slightly alternate timeline…

“I plan to spend most of my time here with my fiancee, T’Pring.” Going to grit my teeth and ENDURE this. Reluctantly.

Spock’s quarters are, like Pike’s, ENORMOUS. He isn’t even the first officer, why are they so big…???

They’re also boring af compared to the way he had his cabin done up in TOS with the red wall-hangings and such. I do appreciate the little grate in the right corner, an obvious nod to the TOS design (albeit a tiny one).

No, please, don’t kiss. Really. (They do, of course.)

Apparently Spock is “redecorating.” There are splashes of red on some of the walls, so I guess that’s as close as I’m going to get to the og design?

T’Pring is, appropriately, a bitch.

The new design of the famous green tunic shirt is horrendous. It’s not my favorite look on Kirk—I’m a boring, standard-issue gold shirt girlie—but Shatner pulls it off. This one doesn’t even fit Pike properly, looks like it’s made of pleather, and any skin it’s supposed to show is covered by a black undershirt. It’s a no from me.

And so far, Pike strikes me as a pretty bad diplomat. I’m sure the show obviously wants me to think he’s an exemplary one—if so, give me some proof to back it up!

Once again, nothing about these civilian clothes is a) going to age any better than the mod 60s-inspired designs of TOS did or b) visually appealing/interesting even right now.

“They don’t shore leave. They shore stay.” This DIALOGUE. I don’t know if I can handle another 15 episodes of this.

I’m unsure how I feel about them giving T’Pring genuine grievances In her relationship with Spock, like him having to work late when they’re supposed to meet for dinner. On one hand, it does seem more realistic than the reasons she gave in TOS…but doesn’t that then imply that her ultimate decision to leave Spock is based on emotion? (It’s already based on emotion in a way, of course—that emotion being affection/lust for another man.) What’s more, I’m not sure it NEEDS to be realistic. T’Pring is not a nice person, maybe not even an ethical person…and that’s fine. We’re talking about the woman who was totally willing to let a total stranger die just because she didn’t want to marry him. Female characters don’t have to be nice and good to have worth. I don’t like T’Pring, but female characters don’t have to be likable, either!

It makes so little sense, because SNW’s T’Pring is both prejudice and emotionally abusive anyway! Her telling Spock that she’s concerned that he’s becoming more human due to his Starfleet career is appropriate for her character and also cruel of her. Which is, again, appropriate.

Y es! More of this, please! (Preferably with better lighting…but beggars can’t be choosers.)

While I’m all for erasing Roger Korby, I don’t know that replacing Christine’s fiance with Random Redshirt #6 is a great choice. Can’t a girl just be single? Especially since said Random Redshirt is the total opposite of Spock, with whom she was already flirting back in Episode 1.

Wow, they let La’an have some personality in this scene. Granted, her personality is defined by cynicism and misanthropy…but I’m shocked!

However, that somewhat pointless Number One/La’an scene interrupted the first real Spockstine scene (aka the reason I’m watching) of the ENTIRE series. Rude!

@deeneedsaname Girl, where are you when I need you?? It’s finally happening!

“You’re clearly an extraordinarily intelligent person. But you’re also an idiot.” Once again, file under: things Christine would never say (*to Spock. Maybe to Bones or another crewman. But not to Spock.)

“That is not a human gesture I am familiar with.” Like hell it isn’t, Spock darling. As if Amanda wouldn’t gently (or, sometimes, not so gently) smack some sense into Sarek…or even into Spock, as the case may be.

“That’s what being in a relationship is. It’s mutual sacrifice. Pretty much why I avoid them.” I like the callback to what T’Pring said earlier—HOWEVER, Christine Chapel is, canonically, the literal queen of (not-so-mutual) sacrifice for a relationship! She changed careers and signed aboard a galaxy-wide exploratory mission to find her missing fiance!!! You don’t even have to keep Korby’s character to maintain that (essential, imo) element of her character…?

“An incompatible mate.” Oof, that word choice.

As fervently as I ship this…when did Christine and Spock become close enough for Spock to feel comfortable discussing his dreams with her over a private dinner? Did I somehow miss that scene in a previous episode???

I do, however, love that this is an allusion to the scene in “Amok Time” where Spock tells Christine that he’s been dreaming about her.

I-Chaya reference!

“What are friends for?” I’m choosing to believe this is also a deliberate allusion to the exchange between Kirk and Bones in Search for Spock. <3

Cute! They’re cute!!!

“A Vulcan soul-sharing?” It’s called a mind meld, girl. Also, good thing she consents, since that’s a huge component of Vulcan marriage, and she already asked him to marry her…?

Bodyswap shenanigans…so, they’re ripping off another (serious/tragic) TOS episode this week for shits and giggles? I’m far from opposed to light-hearted or filler episodes (who doesn’t love Tribbles and “A Piece of the Action”?!) but it’s a lot harder to pull off with 10-episode seasons and questionable script quality.

“Spock, I do not like hijinks.” File under: things T’Pring, or any other Vulcan, would never say.

Spock had to perform a mind-meld with Kirk while he occupied Janice Lester’s body before he really believed that their minds had been switched. But with an important diplomatic mission on the line, Pike’s just going to take Spock and T’Pring’s story at face value without any actual evidence…?

Speaking of…how the hell do they already know about tribbles?! Also, I’m skipping every scene of this comedy subplot. Apparently I, too, hate fun.

Pike has some kind, eloquent things to say about Spock. Fanservice!

Who knew that male-pattern baldness was also a thing on Vulcan…

Everybody Except T’Pring Loves Spock: The Episode (TSFS was Everybody Loves Spock: The Film) <3

“Humans evolved from apes, did they not?” a) No, humans evolved alongside apes—and we are, in fact, considered apes ourselves; and b) logic dictates that Vulcans must have evolved from something, too, buddy!

Spock being defensive of Christine! Spock punching a guy for insulting Christine!!! We love to see it. (I saw someone claim that this was Spock being defensive of himself, but it’s definitely his repeated comments about Christine that trigger Spock’s reaction.

So the thing that even a high Vulcan priestess doubted could be done/was purely a thing of legend (katra being transferred between bodies by a third party) is actually standard medical procedure that can be performed with ease in the Enterprise Sickbay? Don’t tell Kirk and Bones…

“You know you can call me Christine.” Another nice allusion to their scene from “Amok Time”.

“Vulcans cannot lie. At least not in the way that humans can.” He’s such a liar, actually, and we love him.

Ethan and T’Pring’s have so little chemistry, whereas he and Jess have SO MUCH of it.

Things I don’t want: Spock and T’Pring having sex. Spock and T’Pring cuddling after sex. Who asked for this!?!!? The Spirk shippers? The Spockstine shippers?? No! No one did! Besides, love triangles are boring.

She’s gorgeous, tho.

The Good: Some wonderful moments between Spock and Christine (finally!), including references to their most electric scene in TOS—Ethan and Jess’s chemistry—Pike expressing Spock’s value as a person and an officer and, by extension, the value/ideals of the Federation—Spock expressing why he needs/feels at home in Starfleet.

The Bad: Cringe dialogue continues to plague this show—almost all the Spock/T’Pring stuff—the entire body-swapping subplot—the (unfunny) comedy subplot feat. Number One and La’an—that UGLY rendition of the green tunic!

The real reason I’m watching SNW has taken center stage at last…or is at least stepping into the light! This was a lackluster and in many ways an unserious episode that nevertheless offered up a few gems, perhaps to make up for the fact that Spock and T’Pring actually have sex…thanks for that, Kurtzman! /s

[dimplyowl]

@warmhappycat Yes partially! It’s about some people not thinking of Izzy’s actions as abusive and that Ed is the “problem”.

But also it’s partially because I was thinking about some of the responses from certain areas of the fandom I got to this meta about

1. How Ed treated the crew during the kraken era and how he (in some people’s opinion) didn’t do enough to apologize and try to make reparations with the crew

2. How placing some responsibility and blame on Izzy apparently removes Ed’s agency over his own behavior

3. How the crew never finds out and is never given the opportunity to react to and forgive Izzy for the role he played in their experience/trauma

Like, no one’s behavior exists in a bubble. Yes, Ed is responsible for the decisions he made and the things he did in the kraken era. But placing all the blame on him isn’t fair to him and how other people affected his decisions, and the damage that was done to him.

It’s not a perfect analogy, of course, but imo the way I’ve seen some people talking about it really reminds me of that divorce/cheating situation. The crew only see and experience the fallout of Ed’s heartbreak, Izzy’s threats/abuse, and Ed’s mental breakdown. From their pov, Ed was singing and talking about having a talent show one day, and the next had gone full psycho. They’re the children who thought their parents had a good marriage, and then all of a sudden their mom is taking them and leaving their dad and getting a divorce and they don’t understand what happened. They don’t see the damage that was done, they don’t know about the betrayal their dad did, all they see is a woman who ruined their lives for seemingly no reason.

And, just like in this kind of situation, part of the audience has decided to side with the person who did the betrayal. You know, in the divorce analogy, there are a bunch of reasons why: maybe they never liked the wife, maybe they think that she drove the husband to cheat because of being emotionally/physically unavailable or not treating the husband the way they think he should be treated (and here I’m thinking about the way certain members of the fandom believe Izzy to have been endlessly patient and understanding of Ed, despite the very clear contradictions to that we have onscreen), and so it’s the wife’s fault that the husband was cheating.

And all of this places all the blame on the mom when she was just reacting to the hurt that had been done to her and protecting herself from future hurt. And admittedly the analogy sort of falls apart here, because we’re talking about the morality of the pirate environment compared to modern marriages, and Ed and Izzy weren’t married or a couple, but when I think about the scene in 2x1 where the crew confronts Izzy about “being in an unhealthy relationship with Blackbeard” it just makes me think about the kids who don’t see what’s happening behind the scenes, who see their dad seemingly having been abandoned by his wife and hurting and being a victim, when in reality he’s a significant contributing factor to his own hurt.

Oh my god, you know the whole “Izzy doesn’t need to apologize or atone for his behaviors but Ed didn’t do enough” argument? It’s giving angry at one parent for getting a divorce and breaking up the family when the other was a serial cheater.

[shipsandlattes]

So I know everyone has already dissected this scene to its core, but it’s taken me a good 48 hours to digest this and I just needed to get it out.

I’m an aspiring actor, I’ve been training for a long time, with a lot of amazing teachers. I’ve watched a lot of shows and shipped a lot of couples. Some of them beautiful and canon, others, well, let’s just say waiting 22 years and counting for acknowledgement, closure, anything, it’s a damn challenge. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of will-they-wont-they’s, baiting, purposeful ignorance, deliberate fake outs, zero explanations, storylines that basically caused canon disintegration, the works.

In saying that, Dean and Cas were right up there on the list with the other “impossibles” because honestly, I didn’t think the writers would have the guts to do it, but I am so f*cking proud they did. It’s safe to say I’ve watched the scene a good hundred+ times already. 

I’ve seen a lot of “controversy” around Dean’s reaction/Jensen’s acting choices and whether or not Dean reciprocates Cas’ feelings, and obviously, I needed to add my own views to the mix.

Just work with me for a minute here.

Dean Winchester is an emotionally repressed trainwreck, and ironically enough, the one that is so full of emotion it hurts to watch. When Cas first starts his speech, he’s confused, really confused because why on earth would Cas start off on a rant now? Billie’s waiting to kill them, he just said he knew something that was more powerful than she was, something that could save them. That’s where he thought this speech was going.

The confusion turns to realisation that it’s a goodbye when Cas starts telling him how incredible he is, how his entire essence is love. Go back and watch the scene again, when Cas says “you’re the most caring man on Earth”, you physically see Dean look down, his eyes searching, he’s actively trying to make sense of what’s happening, he knows what’s coming and you can see him coming to terms with the shock of the words being said to him. He then looks directly at Cas. That look, that was pure shock.

Also, notice how he doesn’t stop Cas from talking? He doesn’t interject, make a joke, doesn’t talk about how there is no time for this now, they’ve got to at least try and stop Billie. He. says. nothing. He listens, he listens like I’ve never seen Dean listen before. Because it’s sinking in now.

When Cas really starts crying, when he says “you changed me, Dean”, you can actually see the pain in Dean’s eyes. He’s no longer in control of his emotions, he’s crying too. He’s never seen Cas like this, so raw, and vulnerable and human. This is the hardest, most emotional conversation they’ve both ever had. They are talking about the one thing that everybody knows, but is never addressed. When it wasn’t talked about, they could deny it, live in the lie. Once it’s said aloud, it’s real and they can’t turn back.

This above series of interactions is the part that kills me the most. The moment Cas says “because it is”, that’s the exact moment of realisation. Look at that last GIF, really look. He’s just worked it out, that he is Cas’ true happiness. He knows what’s coming before Cas even says it. Go back and watch the scene again, they pulled that off so well, the way the music swells at this exact moment. Jensen is giving us everything here, you can see what’s happening in his head - he is Cas’ happiness. He is the one thing on Earth Cas wants and thinks he can’t have. He is the reason Cas is about to die. He knows what Cas is about to say and he’s not sure he’s ready to hear it, not now, not like this. It’s almost a silent plea not to say it, because he knows. Of course he knows. It’s like he can’t quite believe Cas is really, after all this time, finally going to say it.

And because obviously Jensen decided that that wasn’t enough to break us, the loaded reaction when Cas says “I love you” has me nothing but convinced that it’s reciprocated. Because Dean knows. He’s always known. Those tears, that head tilt, that gulp. He’s so genuinely confused that they’re really having this conversation. It’s like he can’t quite believe that this is the reality before him because he’s been living in that denial, in that self-loathing and unlovable layer he believes to be true. He’s been under the ‘what if... but it could never be’ umbrella for so long. 

What also makes this real is that there isn’t anyone else around this time. When “I love you’s” have been said before, they have always been able to deflect it, with other people or other words. Now it’s just the two of them. No deflecting, no running away. Dean is forced to hear it, to absorb it, to realise it’s for nobody else but him.

Now, I don’t know if you guys felt this, but when Dean says “Don’t do this, Cas”, he wasn’t just referring to Cas sacrificing himself to the Empty, he’s telling Cas that he can’t just say this, not now, knowing he’s going to die, knowing that Dean won’t get a chance to think, to process, to say what he needs too. I keep staring at that GIF above, Dean is breaking down, I’m almost convinced that Jensen was using an “I love you too, please just stop this” inner monologue for this bit. Look at the way he’s looking at Cas before he realises the Empty has started materialising and turns around. That’s a look of pure heartbreak. Trust me when I tell you, it’s really hard to keep those inner thoughts inside if you’re so in the moment - actually, don’t just take my word for it, read any acting book, ask any actor, it’s so hard to keep that in and sometimes you don’t, and sometimes you do - it’s in both the resistance and the letting go that the gold happens. This my friends, is gold. 

Did anyone else hear “Cas, I-”, well, regardless of whether or not it was an “I” or a very sharp breath, the outcome is the same. Dean’s gone into immediate panic mode. The Empty at one end and Billie at the other, and all poor Dean wants to do is gather his thoughts on not what to say but how to say it. I don’t think he comprehended just how little time he had, he was so focused on what was being said that the reality of the situation caught him completely off guard.

Also, I know this post was about dissecting Dean’s reaction, but can we sidebar a minute to talk about Cas as he pushes Dean out of the way? He’s sobbing, he’s fully crying. That hit me really hard, I’ve never seen Cas cry like that, I’ve never seen Misha get to play that level of emotion before and it was the most heartbreaking thing to watch since The Doctor and Rose and Buffy and Spike, to which by the way, I find many parallels between those couples and this scene.

Speaking of crying, that brings me to this: Dean slumped on the floor, ignoring a call from Sam, sobbing his heart out knowing he’s lost everything. Dean-I’m-emotionally-unavailable-Winchester is sobbing. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t recall ever seeing Dean cry like this before either, the sobbing was so evident and piercing in that silence. The look around the room, the burying of his head in his hands, that is a classic writers romantic love trope if I’ve ever seen it, they really pulled out all the stops with this one.

So, to summarise, I think Jensen’s choices and Dean’s reactions were absolutely and utterly perfect. They both did it so well that it didn’t break from character that these two emotionally distant and repressed men are in love and finally voicing it. Jensen barely said two words and still managed to cause mass coronary’s across the fandom. That my friends is what you call a brilliant actor. I bow down to the talents of these two amazing human beings.

Before I leave this novel, I have to say there are now a few things I’m going to need from the powers that be to not screw this up, help me manifest this:

1. Dean gets to reciprocate his feelings to Cas in person. So, I’m gonna need Cas back and a very emotional Dean.

2. Dean to be actively dealing with heartbreak in the next episode (unless they decided to bring Cas back that soon, which I wouldn’t put past them at this point).

3. Sam to confront Dean about his feelings for Cas, because out of everyone, he’d be the one to hit Dean with the truth of his fears. Sam knows. Sam is supportive. Sam sees it all.

4. I’m gonna need some physical affection, cause after 12 years of nonsense, we damn well deserve it. A hug, and not just any old reunion hug, a proper, this is different now hug. A kiss because hello, in love out loud now. Forehead touching, handholding, really gonna need the works here.

5. A happy ending for the two of them, one way or another. We’ve never had one, it’s time.

Okay, have at it now, let’s speak these into existence please.

Note: GIFs are not mine, I did not make them, credit to owners who I’m not sure of, but they’re beautiful, thanks for making them. EDIT: I’ve just been informed that these gorgeous gifs belong to @michaeldean​ and @inacatastrophicmind​! 

[demonfamilytherapist]

I think the main conflict between Lucifer and Duck comes down to control and communication.

Lucifer wants to feel like he is in control. This seems to be a trauma response all things considered - if he can control his brothers, if he can have significant influence over the Devildom, if he can learn every spell and technique to make himself even more incredibly powerful than he already is, maybe he won’t lose anyone else. And this, for better or worse, comes through in the way he expresses his affection.

Lucifer seems to make a lot of presumptions in regards to MC and how they want their relationship with him to progress. How accurate these are depends completely on the MC, of course, but with Duck he misses the mark most of the time. I mentioned it in The Last Pact fic, but Duck most definitely didn’t want to kiss him for most of their relationship, and most definitely didn’t want to escalate to sex immediately after - this presumption (and Duck’s reaction to it) ultimately keeps them apart for the next two seasons.

This is not to say Lucifer has constructed a fake MC in his head, or that Lucifer isn’t genuinely romantic. It’s clear he takes the time to remember and note little things about MC, and in later seasons he puts more power into their hands with being able to say “no” to his advances (this is ultimately a gameplay thing, but anyway). However that confidence of his can get him into trouble sometimes with Duck, simply because she can interpret it as arrogance very quickly.

Duck chafes at the idea of being controlled. Duck simply cannot stand the idea of someone thinking they have authority over Duck’s personal life (workplace bosses and teachers aside). Duck refuses to play second fiddle in her own life, and so many of Lucifer’s initial advances come across as not just unappealing, but actively repulsive to her, as he keeps putting words into her mouth and telling her how she feels (see again Lucifer’s pact scene, kiss route). Duck also does not respond to this in a very constructive way, choosing to avoid and snap back rather than actually discuss the root of the issue.

This leaves Duck and Lucifer in a limbo where every time they get close to each other they’re pushed away again.

From Duck’s perspective, they start to think Lucifer is really making an effort, seeing them for them, but then he’ll make some comment and they’ll realise he really doesn’t have any respect for them at all (he definitely does). Duck is hurt because it feels like Lucifer doesn’t trust them to know their own feelings and she can’t be with someone who will always believe he knows better.

From Lucifer’s perspective, everything is going great until Duck pulls away for no reason. Lucifer has spent centuries, millennia, with all kinds of angels, humans, and demons fawning over him, and it feels like a cruel irony that the one he wants doesn’t seem to be interested in him at all (they definitely are). Lucifer’s response to this is generally pulling back and avoiding Duck until he feels he’s got a signal to try again, and then he gets rejected “out of nowhere” again, and the cycle begins anew.

Duck needs to better communicate her frustrations and Lucifer needs to adapt his communication style if he wants a chance with them. But they’re both pretty… well, prideful, and therein lies the problem.

Lucifer and Duck are basically each other’s Mr Darcy. Hottie who willingly changes for their sake. But it takes two thirds of the book to do so.

Or: Lucifer can be so incredibly soft and that pretty much only comes out with Duck/MC, which seems to tell Duck that he’s being emotionally open and trusting and they respond in kind. Lucifer then struggles with the emotional openness he hasn’t had in millennia and quickly inserts a sauve, seductive comment to save face… which ends up driving Duck away, as it feels like he’s just feeding her lines.

Idk maybe the bros should just lock them up together somewhere for a while it either ends with one of them dead or some damn emotional honestly.

[rollychan]

Sorry to butt in here but your (@unlucky-number-13) response spawned many thoughts in my brain (thanks for that, it's been fun to go thinking about Loki again, been a while), so let me try and put them down, hopefully in a way that's comprehensible.

(this got very long, I am very sorry, I also hope you're not reading my disagreements as an attack because it really isn't, it's also late and I'm tired so if something doesn't make sense, mea culpa)

I don't agree with your assessment of what Loki's "true" personality is, both because I fundamentally don't agree that there is some "true" personality in the first place (if he spends the majority of all his movies acting and pretending, that is very much a personality trait), and also because this is fiction and there were enough characterizing instances in Thor 1. I'd somewhat understand that reasoning if it were real life.

Loki's characterization in Thor 1 is not all an act

How he behaves when he's having a meltdown is of course part of him, and losing control in fiction does indicate that some hidden truth is coming. But the fact that he only breaks down or shows his cracks when he gets this confirmation, as opposed to already breaking down when he saw his arm turning blue, or on the way back, is also characterization. Him being a good liar and actor (or Laufey wouldn't have ever believed him on account of him being a prince of Asgard) and preferring stealthy subterfuge over direct confrontations (sabotaging Thor's coronation, sending a message to Odin secretly) and illusions and throwing knives over close-combat weapons (requiring him to be more strategic and inconspicuous) are all characterization. And that all is not an act. Neither is keeping quiet and not attracting attention to himself when Thor and Odin have their fight, or trying to pick up mjölnir when no one can see him.

He is decidedly not an in-your-face character and being controlled in his gestures/mannerisms is definitely part of his personality, and the writers and TH did a great job characterizing him as such in all aspects, as well as the visuals.

He also has anything but flat affect. Look at his face - it's very expressive. Maybe we just have different understandings what "flat affect" means, but he does not lack in emotional reactivity (which to me is what flat affect means). He does have two rather impressive breakdowns in Thor 1 alone (which are very appripriate given the situations, his voice definitely doesn't lack emotion there either). The worry is clearly written in his face when Odin and Thor have their shouting match (and he also sighs). The shock is also plainly visible in his face when his arm turns blue and he looks at the frost giant that grabbed him. These instances alone are already enough to prove that he is very much emotionally reactive (that doesn't mean he likes revealing his inner workings). And, like, even in the two instances where he really loses control and breaks down, he doesn't spazz around with his arms and hands and whole body (and since he's losing control there, he should be displaying his "true" behavior, which isn't at all similar to the series behavior). Because that's just not who he is.

Avengers ending and TDW scenes as comparison

I agree that it's hard to find a movie that has a situation comparable to the one in the series, especially considering the difference in his experiences between Thor 1 and TDW. But I do think right after Avengers 1 and the first scenes in TDW with him are good picks. And none of those scenes support his sudden behavior change in the series.

When Loki asks for the drink in Avengers 1, he's also not spazzy or trying to make his face emote to the power of ten. Granted, he has just been beaten up, but even in this funny moment (because it is intended to be so) he isn't exaggerating at all, and rather still.

In TDW, he is being brought before Odin in lots of chains. He still manages to move in a very controlled and smooth way, even though he's exaggerating at one point there with his last step when he comes to a halt very pointedly (even that exaggeration is still very smooth and controlled - he knows exactly what he's doing).

A not so little aside: even later in the movie (though too much time has passed by then to really be comparable to the series in that sense) when Loki is moving with more of a swagger and gestures more than in Thor 1, his movements are still controlled and smooth, not spazzy and erratic and all over the place as in the series. There is still a world of a difference there. I don't agree that Loki was mirroring Odin in the first place, so giving that as the sole explanation for his behavior in TDW is already unconvincing to me, but also because his behavior makes much more sense to me for different reasons, and also more than one reason. For one: freedom after over a year of solitary confinement, freedom of Thanos, freedom in general after so long, sibling dynamics and despite the divide between them, being glad to be with his brother again, mischief/trickery - which is one of Loki's emphasized traits in Thor 1, so yeah, it actually very much falls in line with his Thor 1 characterization. Sadly, we don't see much of it in Thor 1, we're only told about it, though it's framed as a fact (and we see plenty of trickery, just not the harmlessly mischievous kind). The one scene where we would have seen that exact behavior was cut from the movie and therefore, in my book, doesn't count (in discussions like these, in fics I'm all for saying it's a fact that happened), and that was the scene right before Thor's coronation, when Loki does the little trick with the snake and also bickers with Thor about their helmets - that scene existing at all makes it kinda hard for me to see Loki's behavior in TDW as dramatically different. Also, when Loki creates an illusion of himself that hangs from the bifröst in Thor 1, asking Thor for help - that's rather showy. And by both their reactions it's not the first time Loki's done something similar. And the last reason I can think of off the top of my head: surviving trauma, after which it's not uncommon that people become a little sarcastic and go on the offensive to provoke (as Loki did with Thor, he provoked Thor to the point Thor almost lost his temper, on that skiff with Jane). Which, still, is rather in line with his Thor 1 behavior. When Loki snaps he attacks. He attacked Thor in Thor 1 and he yelled at Odin.

The scene where Loki makes fun of Captain America after his defeat in Avengers 1 wasn't even in the movie, that was in Endgame (that came out after TR, where he already began with the exaggerated behavior), which I consider a retcon, so it doesn't count in my book.

Loki's change of behavior and mannerisms isn't gradual

Which brings me to the (to my knowledge) as of yet uncontested fact that Loki already exhibited his OOC and spazzy behavior before and during his capture by the TVA in Mongolia. He knew nothing of the TVA and was already all spazzy and exaggerated facial expressions. I haven't seen a single argument that convinced me why he would do so. In front of, in his view at the time, mere humans, and right after his defeat and before his sentencing by Odin (which would have happened bar the time travel shenanigans) - all where he was (and would have been) still very composed and controlled.

You say he gradually mirrors Mobius but he doesn't. It's immediate and before he even meets Mobius. Which is part of the reason I can't quite agree with your reasoning re Loki mirroring Odin and Mobius.

Him finding out about the TVA and being ripped out of his universe is not a convincing argument to me. His world also shattered in Thor 1, when he found out he's a frost giant, which, in his mind, makes him a monster or a relic/object Odin stole - which also implies he immediately drew the conclusion he isn't worthy (he isn't and never could have been as special and worthy as Thor), he's just a tool, everything he thought he knew was wrong, and nothing he does will ever be enough, because Odin "can't have a frost giant sitting on the throne" (his fight with Thor should have him being more spazzy in his mannerisms because at this point he's lost control of everything). It's really not all that different a reveal emotionally (also remember how quickly Loki got a grip of himself and killed the frost giant who grabbed his arm. He does not let such situations faze him while he's not safe enough to have a meltdown).

Even if the TVA situation was worse to him than that reveal from Thor 1, that still doesn't support his spazzy and over-the-top behavior. When he was in his cell in TDW he was also in the same situation that nothing he does really matters anymore because he was sentenced there for a whole Asgardian lifetime, and also, what did he have to lose at that point? His gestures and mannerisms were still controlled and smooth, even when he broke down after Frigga died. Nothing in his previous characterization points to him resorting to the series behavior. It does not fit his characterization.

Our interpretations of the source material are very different, so maybe we won't agree on anything here (because your argumentation is based on the premise that Loki is copying behavior, whereas I already reject your premise, mainly), though maybe I'm also very tired and am overlooking something.

rewatching the Loki series, and the more I watch, the more I realize that Loki was not as OOC as most people say he is. Yeah, there are a lot of "he would not freaking say that" moments, but there are fewer than I remember. (Sylvie is also less annoying, but I'm only on episode 4, so that may change.)

What I am watching is Mobius systematically breaking down Loki psychologically and Loki desperately trying not to die or get beaten up the entire time. Loki would do anything to keep Mobius happy and Mobius knows that and exploits it. He manipulates Loki and never apologizes for any of it. Mobius is horrible.

The plot is still an absolute disaster though.

[swanqueensalad]

TRIGGERWARNING!

Without triggering anyone I wanna ask two things:

1) Was Cora ever physically abbussive towards Regina?

2) I know many ppl's head canon is that Leopold raped Regina again and again as his bride, but is that your headcanon too?

ok again TRIGGER WARNING for abuse & SA (and brief mention of suicide) for anyone reading/scrolling!

i'm going to just explain my personal interpretation of the show and these subjects, bc i find regina so interesting and heartbreaking. and i actually do think part of what makes regina so fascinating as a character is her relationship within the cycle of abuse and how yes, she was incredibly hurt and manipulated all her life, but she eventually managed to break free of it all and work to be better for her own child.

buckle up because i have a lot of feelings and this is probably going to be LONG

so, my thoughts on exactly what happened and why regina is as fucked up as she is:

so yeah, cora was a horrific parent. it's canon that she abused regina both emotionally and physically for practically all her life.

in practically her very first scene, we see cora using magic to hurt her eighteen year old daughter - to violently restrain her/drop her to the ground when she 'misbehaves' which pretty clearly says this is a woman who uses power and fear as a control tactic, and is not afraid of physically hurting regina.

and if this is what she was doing when regina is almost an adult, i think it's safe to assume she's been doing it since she was very young - regina's response 'please don't, i'll be good' is the conditioned response of a much younger child. everything about the way regina was written, her relationship with cora, and the way lana and the directors chose to play it screams abuse victim. she is hypervigilant - she jumps when people come close or make sudden noises. when she's choked with magic she immediately knows not to struggle or fight back. as a young girl, she is terrified of doing things wrong.

(also, when we get the flashback to actual 10 year old regina, cora says she can't help her because 'it needs to be someone who's magic has never hurt her')

while i think most of the time cora relied on magic to physically punish regina - knowing how much regina particularly hated it/was afraid of it - i think she was definitely not above slapping her for more minor infractions

beyond just physical abuse, cora was clearly emotionally distant and got regina to a place of being pretty touch-starved and desperate for affection. (lana and barbara play this so masterfully as well) we see her being constantly, nastily critical of everything her daughter does.

i think it's also implied in the regina rising book that cora was controlling/restrictive of regina's food to ensure she stayed thin/attractive which is just a whole other can of worms

as for leopold. please bear with me while i RANT:

nothing will ever make me more mad than the fact this man was never held accountable in the narrative for his role in regina's story and how absolutely fucking awful he was.

first of all, even before he meets regina, he is dodgy af. he supposedly genuinely loves cora, but throws her out immediately when he discovers her pregnancy without even asking her if it's true/discussing it. also, even in that flashback the man is visibly much older than cora and even more so than eva, who he actually does marry (although i do believe they came to truly love each other). so yeah he has a habit of Not Listening to women and not looking at women his own age

and then we get to regina. the eighteen year old daughter of his ex fiancee (younger even than the unborn child who cora carried when she was engaged to him)

yes i think he raped her. because powerful old men do not marry pretty eighteen year olds for the company. (also, if it was just so snow would have a mother figure, well, she already had her maid joanna. and if snow really wanted regina around that badly, leopold could have just brought her to court as a lady in waiting, a fitting role for a noblewoman, and more appropriate seeing as regina was only about eight years older than snow)

regina is visibly distressed by the proposal. she is panicked. she looks to her father to help. cora accepts the proposal for her. and leopold does not care. i think this tells u all u need to know about his views on consent

(also it all gets ickier when you remember leopold was attracted to cora, and regina is considered to look like cora did when she was younger)

leopold clearly had zero interest in regina as a person. he used her for arm candy for events, to make snow happy, and to keep his bed warm. (later, he invades her privacy so much regina counts on him reading her diary as a thoughtless and integral part of a plan, and locks her up for receiving a present from another man) and yet he is never treated as a villain or ever held accountable (besides regina killing him - good for her - but even then it's framed more as a way to villainise her for tricking sidney) and it makes me FURIOUS

i sometimes see the take that leopold might have stopped raping her towards the latter years of their marriage, but i disagree - i think maybe it did get fewer and farther between, but regina was still his wife who he only saw as serving a few purposes, and the way he is so possessive of her in 1x011 makes no sense otherwise, seeing as he was so uninterested in her in every other way

i do think a lot of regina's rage and vendetta against snow is because of this abuse too.

hear me out: in s1 especially, both snow and regina refer to snow as 'ruining her life'. because regina blamed her for everything that happened to her. not only did snow cause daniel's murder, it was her desire for regina as a mother that prompted leopold to marry her.

and this marriage was hell. and i think people don't realise how long it lasted either - snow went from a child to at least her late teens before regina killed leopold. regina was a traumatised young girl, grieving the love of her life, with no friends, no allies, nobody except the literal dark one who was grooming her for his own gain. (no wonder she clung to the brief sense of freedom and control his lessons offered. no wonder she nearly killed herself.)

and while regina suffered, she was forced to play with snow white every day, who was so spoiled, so loved, so happy, and had no idea of the life she had unwittingly trapped regina in.

so yeah, it's all pretty dark.

and it's for all these reasons i think ouat ended up shying away from many more regina backstory episodes centring on the time she was married/pre-evil queen years, because they were on abc after all, and i don't think they were really equipped to deal with the horrendousness of the story they'd created

but lana most certainly did her work becaue i think all of this nuance does show in her portrayal

and it all just makes regina's ending - the good queen, in her own name, safe and strong and loved, part of a true family, her bond with snow healed - so much more of a relief.