#maybe i dont deserve to be blamed after being seriously fucked over?

[maxxtheterrible]

Hey uhhhh... somebody shoot me :-)

[oriigirii]

💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞

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{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *

Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

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< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.

No no.

The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.

Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ～((Φ◇Φ)‡ >

------

ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer

He usually doesn’t mind you playing games

Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?

But hey he’s not stopping you

Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him

Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.

He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat

You didnt seem to pick up the hint though

He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back

“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”

You show him the screen showing your pull results

The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair

Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble

“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”

Bro same though, Diluc pls come home

You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.

Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?

Truly outrageous.

He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work

But boy oh boy, his salt is high

“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”

His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.

You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that

like

how dare

But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.

Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.

Angey.

Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside

You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit

“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”

Potential apocalypse has been diverted

But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says

“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”

Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched

( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)

===

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon

Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!

He’s your first man!

Your homie!

“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”

S A D N E S S

But for real, this man is just so clingy

He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.

But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back

But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.

He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?

But no, you still werent interested.

“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”

“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”

Wait no--

Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!

Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.

But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone

“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”

“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”

Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--

oh…

OH

“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”

“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”

He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.

You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!

You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”

“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”

“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”

“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help

But so are you!

Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!

Flusterred boi 100

But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon

He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you

but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)

But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...

kinda...

He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now

Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.

But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.

====

ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan

He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first

He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy

But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click

Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!

You do share your interests to him almost immediately

By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for

The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool

You explain it all!

From their lore to their voice lines and whatever

But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?

Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!

As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....

It made you pout, but then, it made you worried

Uh-oh you know that look

its that, ‘im overthinking’ look

So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can

“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”

He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong

It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling

In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it

but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining

“You... feel jealous?”

“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”

He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.

“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”

Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry

Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?

Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon

Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...

“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying

But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek

“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips

his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen

but for real he did pass out

Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush

But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy

its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you

He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen 

He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account

true gamer

But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy

I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan

Probably lowkey for now

Afterall she looks like a minor so-----

( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )

But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too

Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird

----

I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜(￣△￣〜)

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Jealous ll

Part 2!!!! I linked the sone again cause its a bop and I love it also heres pt one!

You had had enough

Thats what you kept telling yourself

As you got ready tonight

You weren't going sit in the house anymore waiting for keigo to show up whenever he felt like it

Tonight you were going out for you

You thought about how you used to have fun, how you used to be happy

And how miserable you had been lately and you decided

If Keigo didnt appreciate you anymore

Then you'd find someone who would

So thats why you found yourself looking in the mirror admiring how well you dressed up tonight to go out

You almost forgot how hot you were when you put in a little effort

You had originally stopped because keigo would tell you how beautiful and perfect you were without make up or anything

But now you were on the prowl for someone new to notice you and keigo's words meant little to nothing to you right now

Tonight you were gonna find someone to show you just a little bit of attention you craved so much and it wasnt going to be keigo

Just then you saw keigo staring at you from the reflection in mirror

he was home unusually eailer

"Dont you have to work?" You asked bitterly

"Where are you going?" He asked ignoring your statement

Sighed and rolling your eyes and picking up your purse you turned to him before leaving the bedroom, "Out. You don't have to wait up for me."

"You're being ridiculous y/n."

He said following you but you ignored him

"Y/n? Y/n?" He kept calling you, "You cant just go out an-"

"And why not?" You turned to him before you left the apartment, "according to you were not even really dating-"

"You know why that is." He told you seriously

You huffed out a fake laugh, "yeah, but its still okay for you to flirt with anyone?"

Keigo didnt respond to that making you chuckle, "Exactly...like I said im going out dont wait up." Then you slammed the door leaving.

You knew you were being unreasonable with him

You knew the two of you needed to just talk and make up

But you kept letting your anger from all your arguments cloud your judgment

Because you just wanted him to feel the same hurt and jealously you had been feeling more then anything

Keigo stared at the door you had just slammed

Things somehow got worse in the following days after your argument on your anniversary

You refused to talk to him

He tried to apologize to you but you basically brushed him off

Keigo wasn't sure what to think you said you hated him, you wouldnt sleep in the bed with him

Yet you hadn't packed up and left so that was good right?

But that distance that was growing between the two of you was wider then before

And he didnt know what to do to fix it

And now you were going out clearly dressed to find someone else

Did you really hate him? Had you really had enough of him?

Hell, he couldnt even blame you if you did he thought

You had put up with so much of him up until now

And maybe some of what you said the other night was true? Had he gotten too comfortable with you always being there?

But that was only because he loved you

Keigo was truly in love with you, and dispite you suspensions he never cheated on you

And he would never do that, you were the only one he wanted even now when you two seemed to be at each others throats

He still wanted you, and he couldn't picture his life without you

So thats why he ended up following you to the bar you were currently at

He made sure you hadnt noticed him staying in the back out of your sight

And he hated what he saw

He saw you having fun

You had met up with some of your girlfriends the three of you all laughing and drinking

You acting like you didnt have a care in the world, like the two of you didnt argue before you left out

Having a good time as if you didnt leave him alone in the house

He watched you dancing as though you were having the time of your life as other mean stared and gawked at you

He watched as a guy singled you out and was clearly flirting with you

And worst you let him and was encouraging him

You kept touching his shoulder laughing at his jokes letting him dance against you

Words couldnt describe the irritation he felt watching

He wanted nothing more then to rip that mans hands off you and fly away with you in his arms

But part of him felt like he deserved this

This feeling he had, was it how you felt?

If so he needed to fix this, was all that he could think

And he was about to go to you, but before he could someone called out his name

"Hey! Hawks is here!"

Fuck he said to himself when a crowd started to form around him

His eyes then connected with yours knowing you heard he was here

And for a moment he thought you were gonna come up to him

But instead you kept talking to the random guy ignoring him

Hawks wanted to go to you and talk to just take you back home

But was having trouble getting away from the crowd

He was all smiles talking to his fans but the whole time he kept his eyes on you

But somehow it became a battle to see who was going to be more stubborn

You continued to dance with the random guy, but now you knew keigo was here watching you

You convinced yourself not to care, you came here to have fun and he wasnt going to ruin it for you

But thats just what he was doing as you watched him talk to some random girl now

He was here to get under you skin, you were sure of it

But two could play this little game

Both of you having this little war with each other watching each other from across the room

And you couldnt lie you were enjoying it a bit

Seeing his eyes watching you, knowing he had to be feeling the sting of jealousy as another man held you close

But It all came to a head when you saw the girl he was dancing with lips on his neck

He wasnt looking at you when you saw that all his attention clearly on her

You couldn't deny the sharp feeling in your chest at the sight

And not wanting to see anymore you left the dance floor telling the guy you needed to go to the bathroom

Hawks pulled away from the handsy fan

Denying anymore of her advances

Yeah he had been trying to get under your skin now but thats was a bit much

But now when he looked up to find you again, only to see you were gone

His stomach sank

Where did you go? You had to had just seen that?

Did you leave with that guy? Hawks started to panic when he didnt seem him either

Where did you go? Why was he being so stupid just now? He should have just went to talk to you

Just then keigo noticed the guy you had been flirting with at the bar and went up to him

"The girl you were dancing with? Where'd she go?"

The guy looked at him like he was crazy "whats it too you?" He challenged him

But keigo wasnt in a playful mood and grabbed the man by the collar, "Answer the question asshole."

The guy quickly put his hands up in defeat, "she just said-

"Hawks?"

He heard his name called out and looked behing him to see you

"What are- you are so unbelievable." Yku shook your head storming off

You couldn't believe him he had the audacity to attack the guy you had been talking to

It didnt take much thought to figure out why

And it annoyed you to no end

So keigo could flirt and let girls kiss all over him but if you had a guy around you that was too much

He was such a hypocrite

You were angry your whole way back home

You stood in the mirror once you got back

But with a different feeling in your stomach then the feeling you had before you left

You felt defeated your plans of fun had been ruined and you felt like your back in the same spot you had been in

Hawks was giving you a little bit of space taking his time getting back home

Because now you were probably madder than before at him

When hr got in he saw you had just got out the shower

"Y/n..."

You heard him call out your name But you ignored him

Y/n, you have to listen to me."

You werent going to turned around but before you knew it he hugged you from behind

"Im sorry."

"Let go of me hawks." You spat out but he didnt budge

"Just listen to me y/n..."

"Why are we doing this to each other?" You asked quietly, "Why do you keep hurting me? What are we even doing? It clearly isnt wor-"

"Ive been an idiot, y/n."

Keigo buried his face in your neck, "I've been so stupid, but please please dont leave me."

You were trying to fight back tears, "I dont want to leave you keigo....but I cant-"

"Dont say you can't with me anymore. I need you." Keigo pleaded holding you tighter

You were so frustrated

You still loved him, you still wanted to be with him, because when things are good between you they're great

But the way your relationship had been it was becoming too much

But you wanted to stay with him

Because you loved him

You moved your hands and held on to his arms secretly enjoying his embrace that you missed so much

"I know you mean well keigo-"

"I love you so much y/n," keigo cut you off again, "I know ive been an asshole, ive been neglectful, ive been the worst, but dont give up on me. Please."

You finally turned around to face him and hugged him back

You could see the sincerity in his eyes as you did "I love you too keigo but I just cant do this- we keep hurting each other...thats not what your supposed to do to the people you love."

Keigo pulled back "You want me to tell everyone about us? I will." He told you, "You want me to tell you everything ive been doing I will, I promise you Ill to whatever it takes to fix us. I dont want to live the way we have anymore."

You knew he was serious and your heart leaped hearing his words but you werent sure

"You're the only one I want y/n" he said giving you a light kiss

Almost like he was asking for permission

"Ill do whatever it takes for you to forgive me."

He said inbetween kisses, "you're so important to me, im sorry i made you think you weren't."

You couldnt lie he was finally saying everything you wanted to hear

And you wanted to believe him

"You promise?" You asked him

"I promise."

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[jimin-day]

Stare at me

Summary: You frequent a coffee shop only to be met with his dark eyes every time.

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Genre/tags: Smut, fingering, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, if you squint daddy!Jungkook, shy!reader, dirty talk,

a/n: hello! This is my first time writing a fanfic so please be kind! This kind of just fell out of me and developed into something I couldn't control, so.. enjoy! :)

You leaned back with a sigh and threw your notebook on the coffee table. Knowing you needed a well deserved break from studying you decide to head down to the local coffee shop for a caffeine boost.

You emit a big loud yawn and walk to your room down the hall. You decide to exchange your sweatpants with some jeans and put on a bra for the first time that weekend. You give a small huff in the mirror noticing you still look a bit ragged, but who cares? Your not trying to impress anyone and your definitely not trying to turn any heads.

After breaking up with your long term, long distance boyfriend you felt like your life was on hold. You thought you were going to marry this man, have his children in fact. But the sad truth was he had cheated on you and you couldnt let that stand, so you left. Feeling emotionally bruised and sore you had holed up in your on-campus apartment and tried to forget by studying and binging on chinese food for the last few weeks.

The only thing that brought you any joy nowadays was getting some coffee a few blocks down from where you lived. It may have seemed like a small excursion but it got you out of the house and let you take in a fresh breath of air, somehow restoring your will to stand on this planet.

But you would be lying if that was the only reason you visited that coffee shop. Every so often a black haired man at a small table next to the window would be working on his laptop, to say he was handsome was an understatement.

He was jarringly handsome and if you were lucky you would catch eyes with him, only to be completely embarrassed when he caught you staring. But that didnt stop you from looking for him every time you went to the shop only to be met with those dark doe eyes.

You walked down the side walk, a cool breeze hitting your face, making you feel refreshed now that you were being met with crisp air. You took a deep breath and tried to ignore the fact that you were still deeply hurting from your breakup. You silently thought to yourself that maybe it was you. Were you not good enough? Not pretty enough? You guess you could stand to lose a bit of weight. Maybe not good enough in bed? No, do not let yourself go there this was his problem. You were more than an ideal girlfriend and you refuse to blame yourself for his actions.

Almost like he had heard you thinking about him, your phone rings a familiar chime and you lift your phone to take a look.

[DONT ANSWER] 11:46pm

Hey please message me back, i miss you.

Nope, not a chance. Since the break up your ex has been trying to contact you but you wouldnt give him the light of day. There is no way you were going to let him convince you back into his arms and you wouldnt even give him the chance.

You put your phone in your pocket and looked up at your destination. You pull the door open to be greeted with warm air defrosting your body. You take a step inside and almost involuntarily look to your right where that brown haired man normally sat. You were thrilled to see him sitting there studiously staring at his laptop with his eyebrows stitched together, probably figuring out a tough question you assume? Today he was wearing all black, not like he wore anything else, a black oversized tee shirt, a black face mask pulled down to his chin and ripped black jeans. A leather jacket hung from one of the chairs which he had thrown over previously before your arrival. He sighed and leaned back taking a sip of his coffee before looking up.

As if knowing you were going be there at this exact time he met your eyes immediately. You felt embarrassed, obviously for staring so long, but you were a bit bolder today meeting his gaze a little longer than normal. Maybe seeing that text earlier gave you a bit more confidence in knowing you would be fine without your ex, even though you were torn inside.

His eyes didnt back down and he one upped you by cupping his hand underneath his chin and giving you a sexy smirk while tilting his head. This was as much confidence as you were going to show today, as you quickly turned your head and got in queue. Your cheeks burned and admittedly your pussy clenched with desire. You put your face in your hands and shook your head trying to regain your composure. Feeling so hot and blushed.

You didnt notice but the man was quietly giggling and taking you in as much as you were oogling him. Of course he noticed you looking at him everytime you walked through those doors. In fact, he may have noticed you before you had noticed him. When he caught you the first time staring, he was elated. Knowing that you felt attracted to him made this even more fun, and what topped it off was you were so shy. Every time he looked at you, you couldnt help but be incredibly embarrassed and cave in on yourself. He loved that, Jungkook fed off it, each time you walked through the door he pictured more than one things to do to you.

Even catching you in sweatpants drove jungkook crazy. Seeing them hangoff your hips teasing him and wearing a tight camisole made him ache in pleasure. What was it about you that made him dizzy?

Jungkook was an average student but excelled in about everything else. At uni he was very often sought after by women but he had no motivation to chase after anyone. He would have flings here and there but they meant nothing to him. Not even knowing it, jungkook became the white whale around the university. Women would try to reel him in but to no avail, leaving them high and dry. Getting him in bed meant you were of the elite class, earning you a high spot in womens books, often jealousy.

But jungkook was oblivious to this, and if he was being honest nothing was special about those women. Just right place, right time.

But to Jungkook, you felt special.

Jungkook thought about his plan of action that he had rehearsed in his head a few times. He always wanted to confront you but never felt confident enough. But today was the day. He woke up with a surge of motivation and admittedly went to the coffee shop early to make sure he didn't miss you, praying you would show up.

You were the next person to place your order when you feel a presence behind you. You paid it no mind and kept looking forward deciding if you should get a small breakfast sandwich to go with your coffee. As you tell the clerk that you'd like a hot coffee a voice speaks up behind you, "and I'll be paying for that"

You turn around as if your head was on a swivel and notice the beautiful man coming up around you and handing his card to the employee. "Oh and I'll have a breakfast sandwich too" you say while giving a meek smile to the man who was paying for you.

He gives a mischievous grin and you turn to face the clerk, blushing. Once he receives his receipt and is handed his card back, you step to the side and wait for your order to be finished. Not far behind, jungkook follows and stands beside you. "You know, I would've paid for you even if you ordered the whole menu" jungkook looks at you with kind eyes and a little grin.

You cant help but blush and stare at your feet. You quickly try and sike yourself up and finally look up at him "Well maybe next time I'll try and buy the whole store" Jungkook laughed brightly with a bunny smile while his dark hair falls into his eyes, you can't help but think how adorably handsome he was in that moment.

He looks at you a bit more seriously making your face burn in anticipation. "You think I haven't noticed you staring?" At that you turned red. You knew he saw you, most days you would catch his eyes but being so upfront about it had you in a tizzy. Jungkook takes the small slip of paper he just received and starts scribbling on it and places it into your hand.

You glance down at the paper and it's his name and phone number, you look up and blush at him. Jungkook leans closer to you almost brushing your ear. "If you would like you can stare at me outside of this shop, preferably in my room princess."

Jungkook gives a sly smirk, turns and walks away to sit back down at his table and you are drenched to say the least. 'Holy shit, what did he just call me?'

You hear the barista call your name and you were so startled by it you jump pulling you out of the trance you were in. You safely put the receipt in your pocket grab your order and before pushing the doors open you take one last glance.

As if making it known to the whole world jungkook was unabashedly smiling at you. Your cheeks turn hot pink and you rush out the door, trying to get yourself together.

------------

You sit at home, lifting the small piece of paper up and staring at it. 'Jungkook', now that you think about it you feel like you have heard this name in small circles around campus but never had the face to put to the devil. This makes you outwardly cringe, scrunching up into a little ball and give a silent scream. From your recollection this man is a catch, THE catch and if you were not mistaken very good in bed.

At that thought you said fuck it, since your ex you haven't even thought of sex or pursued anyone and decided enough was enough. You were getting dick.

[Y/N] 7:56pm

Hey.. it's coffee shop girl

[Jungkook] 8:01pm

Hi baby, did you get curious?

Your heart stops at the nickname, oh fuck he's reducing you to a puddle. You can feel your panties getting uncomfortable and you try and shift to relieve some much needed tension. You take a deep breath and decide to just go for it.

[Y/N] 8:03pm

So what does staring at you in your bedroom entail?

[Jungkook] 8:04pm

Hmm.. well Y/N i could tell you or I could show you?

You were reeling, not even believing it yourself you take a second to calm your nerves. But honestly you couldnt, too high on whatever cloud your are on to still your beating heart. Your pussy clenches around nothing, and you are beginning to pool in your panties, thinking of all the things Jungkook would do to you.. will do to you.

-------

Next thing you know your knocking on his door, in the cold.

Before you left you told your friend where you were going just in case this man was a serial killer. You could never be to careful. Your friend wanted to hear all about it but you have no time for that yet, but definitely over brunch tomorrow.

You hear a click and the door swings open, there stands a man with honey skin and beautiful dark locks, he gives you a bright boxy smile "Hi, can I help you?" You almost trip over yourself when you are greeted by him, too focused on just how handsome he was.

"Um, ya I'm here for Jungkook?"

Just as you asked Jungkook is strolling up to the door and telling his roommate that he's "got it from here". That made you freeze, what have you gotten yourself into? This man was practically a stranger, a stunning one, but a stranger none the less and now your going to let him "take it from here" almost as if you were a plaything.

Jungkook gestures you in and you wave to who you later learned was Taehyung, thanking him for opening the door for you. As you turn to follow jungkook down the hall, your cheeks feel hot, not only about what is going to happen in Jungkooks room but how Taehyung knows exactly why you are here, and you just looked him in the eyes and thanked him.

Jungkook let's you into his room and as you walk in you take a look, it's tidier than you would have thought, there is a light up keyboard and computer in the corner, on top of his desk sits a very expensive DSLR camera, a mic stand just beside the desk and he has purple lights strung up around the walls. Nice touch.

Jungkook closes the door behind you, no turning back now. He looks at you almost as if he were to tear you to shreds. His eyes transition to blown out black as he rakes over your body and you can almost hear your heart thrumming in your ears. He moves closer putting his left hand on the wall, at his bold gesture, you begin to feel overwhelmingly shy.

Coming to a strangers house to fuck? This was not you, you liked to take your time and get to know the person. Maybe a date or two to see what your getting into. Right now you were way out of your comfort zone.

Jungkook pinning you to the door has your eyes looking at your feet, feeling quite nervous, and possibly wanting to flee. Jungkook gently takes his finger and lifts up your chin to meet his eyes. His eyes still blown out with lust but showing a bit more restraint making your heart feel less tight. "Hey baby, it's okay. I've got you, you tell me if this isn't something you want and I'll stop right now."

Your heart sank you didn't want him to feel like he was pressuring you, you wanted this. So bad your pussy is aching for some sort of release. It was all just so new to you, the situation, the man, the way he looked at you like an animal. You shook your head and told him you were okay, not wanting him to stop.

He starts slowly with a quick kiss to the lips, then soon after turning sloppy tasting them and molding to them. He licks your lips so he can explore your mouth. Giving you sloppy wet strokes of his tongue making you weak in the knees.

His hand comes to your hip squeezing and rubbing soft circles, slowly moving higher underneath your shirt. Your lips detach and he licks up your neck, sucking on the flesh that is right underneath your ear. "Fuck baby you have no idea how long I wanted this." He sucks harshly leaving a purple mark with his plush lips, grinding his hips into your core for some sort of friction.

You don't pay his comment much mind as you are way to distracted by his hand cupping your breast and his cock rubbing your clit deliciously. Jungkook gently pinches your nipple and starts playing with your nub expertly twisting and massaging. You let out a soft moan, and jungkook is floored. His erection so hard and uncomfortable in his pants, but he can wait.

Jungkook takes his hand and starts stroking your clothed core with his long fingers, feeling how much you have soaked through your clothes. Feeling how wet you are for him he groans "Does this feel good princess? Do you like when a stranger plays with your pussy?" You moan even louder, no one has talked to you this way and you can't help but feel a new gush of arousal take over.

He quickly picks you up by your bottom and throws you on the bed, "Strip, everything but your panties" there is no hesitation, you fling your shirt off your body undo your bra and shuffle your pants down to the floor leaving only your underwear on.

As you sat there you began to cross your arms over your chest, somewhat embarrassed being mostly naked in front of this man. Jungkook tutted, "Don't be shy princess" jungkook reaches for your wrists and pulls them up over you head pinning them to the headboard while giving you quick kisses to your forehead and jaw. "Don't hide from me, let me see you."

His sweet coos and kisses soothe your heart and you relax more into the position your are in. Jungkook begins to move down your neck with kisses, licks and some biting to stave off his hunger. Seeing you in this position is driving him crazy. You are so cute and shy your soaked pussy waiting for him. From this angle he can see you all hot and flustered trying to hide your face. Jungkook gives a quick smile that you don't see because you are too busy trying to hide from your embarrassment.

Jungkook moves down next to your core playing with the elastic of your panties, taunting you. "Will you be a good girl for me?" His question barely registers in your blown out state but you quietly nod your head. Not being a good enough answer for jungkook he slaps your pussy right on your bundle of nerves. "Use your words, Y/N." The spank sends shock waves throughout your body and has you on high alert. Your walls clenching hard, aching for any type of touch.

"YES, yes, please Jungkook I'll be a good girl" You look him in the eyes and don't want to stop staring at how gorgeous he looks. Sweaty glistening skin, dark hair in his eyes, looking like he could eat you alive.

Never breaking eye contact Jungkook removes his shirt and pants along with his boxers. His cock hitting his stomach with force, hard and angry red. He was so thick and long, you wanted to taste him so bad, swallow his cock full.

Jungkook starts to pump his dick up and down, using his thumb he wipes his slit to cover his length in cum. He leans back down to your soaking core. "Now princess I want you to watch me while I play with your pretty pussy, can you do that for me?"

You look at him with half lidded eyes, feeling like your in a strange head space that you can't describe. But you would do or say anything for him at this moment almost subdued by that fact you know he will take care of you. "yes daddy." Jungkook is surprised to hear that come off your lips but it makes him want to fill you up with cum, make you his.

He notices your shift in expression and realizes you've slipped somewhere, but he decides to save that in the back of his mind, he'll play with that Y/N another day. Right now he just needs to be inside of you.

Jungkook bunches the material of your panties and pulls upward rubbing your aching clit. The friction feels so good and you want to throw your head back and moan but remembering the rules you fix your eyes on jungkook looking pleased at what little he has to do for you to go crazy.

Seeing your perfect clit bulge from your panties being pulled up, jungkook wraps his soft lips around your clothed bundle and starts sucking you, along with long slow languid licks.

You couldn't take it any more, Jungkooks mouth sucking on your clothed clit is visual overboard, you throw your head back and give a loud moan, your clit throbbing feeling so close to cumming.

"Please, kook!"

Jungkook let's go of your panties and pulls them down your legs. He starts rubbing your bundle of nerves in circles and figure eights, earning loud moans from your lips from the new bare sensation. "Please what, princess?"

"I wanna come, please let me cum, jungkook!"

He quickly leans down and strokes his tongue up your slit gathering your juice on his tongue "fuck baby you taste so good", jungkook moves up to your clit, his hot breath ghosting over you making you whine. With a wet and flat tongue jungkook eats you almost like he is a starved puppy, his strong muscle giving you some well deserved attention.

Feeling your stomach coiling you know you are so close, your legs start shaking and your breathing starts to speed up. Your eyes tight ready for what comes next.

Jungkook slips two fingers into your pussy curving them so he hits your spongy g-spot, never stopping his tongue on your clit while he fucks you with his fingers. Suddenly the coil snaps within you and you are seeing stars. Your orgasm has your thighs shaking around jungkooks head and tears begin to slip from your eyes. You throw your head back and let out a deep and long moan. "My princess looks so pretty cumming." You gush all over jungkook tongue and he is happy to lick all of your essence up all up not letting any go to waste.

Jungkook slows his tongue and fingers to help coax you through your orgasm, he gives you a quick kiss to your sensitive clit and gets up to hover over top of you. " You did so well princess, you ready for my cock?"

You give a very enthusiastic nod, tears still streaking down your face from the force of your orgasm. "Yes please, I want your cock daddy."

He strokes his member a few times and starts to press the head of his member in your wet folds moving it up and down your slit soaking his cock. He starts to push in your velvet entrance and you can feel the delicious sting and stretch of him. Half way in jungkook stops to let you get used to his size. Looking at you with your tear stained cheeks his cock twitches and he can hardly control his hips from pounding into your messy cunt.

"Your pussy is so tight princess, were you waiting for my cock?" Jungkook pushes his thick member all the way in your pussy and he let's out a guttural moan. "Fuck baby you feel so good".

You reach out and grab jungkooks shoulders pulling him closer, your face is buried in the crook of his neck both of you hot and sweaty. Jungkook takes advantage of this position and hooks his arms underneath your shoulder blades and grabbing your shoulder from the back giving him excellent grip to thrust deep and hard inside you.

He starts moving slowly but quickly picks up the pace at a bruising speed. Using his arms as leverage to slam into your pussy as he whispers in your ear, "I've been eye fucking you for days princess, did you know that? I've been wanting to fill this pussy up since I saw you and now I have you crying beneath me. Do you like a perfect stranger filling this tight cunt?"

You shiver at his words and feel yourself clenching around him your pussy desperately trying to hold on to his thick cock. You moan loudly and start to produce fat tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Your words, princess."

Jungkook did not say that lightly and you did not want to test his patience in this moment, while you were already in a vulnerable position. "Yes I love a strangers cock in my pussy!"

Jungkook swallows hard at your words and can't believe how well you are doing for him. The shy girl he saw in the coffee shop is saying such dirty things, just for him.

You try and match his speed with your hips but to no avail, your breath hitches every time he thrusts into you leaving you almost breathless. Your orgasm is rising and its almost painful to follow, he hits your g-spot so nicely and he has you crying, tears continue to fall from your eyes and onto the bedsheets. Trying to hold on you reach for his back and start clawing at it. The pain of your nails digging into him. Jungkook let's go of your shoulders and sits up while fucking you, getting a whole new and beautiful view of you crying, and writhing on his cock while he thrusts in your sweet pussy.

Jungkook reaches down to your folds and drags his finger around your arousal and brings it up to your clit. Rubbing harsh circles on your very sensitive bundle. You start to feel the familiar twist in your stomach rise and it has your legs start shaking and your breath becomes shallow. "Come on princess cum all over your daddys cock".

With another thrust of his hips he sends you into your second, back breaking orgasm. In jungkooks eyes you look like art, hair splayed out around you wet from all the tears you were producing, thighs shaking uncontrollably with intense pleasure, and your mind so fucked out and begging to be praised by your daddy after cumming on his cock so well.

You look up at jungkook and his eyes are all over you, watching you become a mess underneath him.

Jungkook not being able to last much longer looks you right in the eyes and grabs your chin. "Look at me in the eyes princess while I fill up your slutty cunt with my cum. Don't you look away, I want you to see how much of a slut your are for me."

Your pussy clenched at his vulgar words and you nod in his hands. You have no choice but to look into his intense dark chocolate eyes. His hips become sloppy and he can feel your pussy throbbing and milking his cock, with a couple more sloppy thrusts he spills into your cunt filling you with warmth, making you feel so full. Jungkook let's out a guttural groan, while looking into you as he claims you as his.

You found your eyes were glued to Jungkook as he came, not being able to look away, seeing his dark eyes swirl with relief and lust, licking his lips and hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. You were completely in awe of him.

Jungkook rests his forehead on yours taking deep breaths until he removes himself from you and gets up to walk away. He comes back with a wet cloth in hand and gently cleans you up. He throws the towel to the side and lays down beside you. You both take a deep breath and look at each other.

"Uhmm, I think I should go." You start to get out of his bed when you feel his hand grab your wrist.

"Stay with me, you don't have to go." Jungkooks words have your heart lump in your throat. You felt embarrassed walking in here for a quickie and afterwards when reality hit you, you felt mortified. But looking into his eyes he was gentle, finding some truth in his words you let him pull you on his his chest to cuddle. Your cheeks burning red at the action but your were admittedly enjoying the feeling of his warmth.

Without realizing how exhausted you had become, your eyes begin to feel heavy. You fall asleep while he strokes your hair, jungkook being left with his thoughts.

'Fuck'

---------------------------------------------------

a/n: Ahh! thank you for making it this far! I had a lot of fun (and difficulty) writing this! It's my first time ever writing a fanfiction so please be kind! Let me know what you think :3

[beann-e]

I thought i’d write something different from what I usually do to say ‘ thank you for 400 followers ‘ I hope you like it

“ light no you can’t write my name please “

the air in the room was tense as you stood moving your weight between each foot “ light I don’t understand —whatd I do to you—please “

you felt the patience youd held for him earlier slipping out of your body as you reached out to grab his notebook “ don’t “

your hand pulled back quickly as if his voice alone was a hot pan you just touched

“ touch my book “

you shivered at his tone

“ and return back to your seat on the bed — that she placed you in“

you followed his orders as you perched yourself at the foot of the bed eyes darting across his back In fear anytime he flexed his muscles

You actually weren’t sure how you ended up here much less how he ended up with you in his care you weren’t his responsibility but what he did know was that he was pissed the fuck off with misa’s big mouth.

I mean who the hell lets their best friend know they have shinagami eyes and that they have a book they can kill people with much less tells them that their said crush has the same book

in all honestly this has to be your fault —seriously are you stupid why did you not run? he can’t even begin to think how you just agreed to any of what she told you but here you were sitting prettily on his bed alert and at attention for his next orders god your just like her he gripped his pen tightly at the thought

He couldn’t even wrap his head around why you stayed behind with him after misa left to go complete a job given to her by her ‘boyfriend’ earlier

when the two stepped out the room to speak him thinking he was giving you enough time to escape before he came back only to want to drop dead when he walked in and turned his head to your smiling face just his luck you didn’t leave now not only one could bother him but two

he got rid of one nuisance only to be greeted with another and this one was worse. body always moving and hovering around him , hands always wrapped around something that he’d have to tell you to stop touching , your mouth moving at the speed of light , he let out a scoff in his head at that one.

the only way he was able to get you to relax was for him to tell you he’d write your name in his book that you lucky for him feared. Honestly, He didn’t even know if he wanted to or not you were kinda fun to mess with and he didn’t get much fun in his life moving from college top A student to leader of a world spread killing spree

You were like a breath of fresh air to him except you were just like misa

it was like having a misa and misa jr in his room you were no different from her and you didn’t annoy him any less but he knew you were workable, he knew by the way you followed his orders like a blind puppy. You were so quick to do whatever he asked and all it took was a little threatening to get you to do it.

he studied you out of the corner of his eyes mind slowing with only one thought about how you could be easier to control than misa and who was he to resist taking the easy way out that was the point of having a partner right, to tell them to do something and they simply do it. eyebrow furrowing as he looked at you maybe just maybe

he sighed leaning back in his chair “ look”

he turned to face you hands crossed and sat neatly in his lap “ I won’t write your name if you do me a favor“

your eyes came up to meet his in a hurry a quick whiny answer leaving your lips “ yes light “

his body went hot at the way you put up no fight ‘ just like misa ‘

“ come here “ you felt your body grow cold as you neared him you didn’t have shinagami eyes or even a notebook but you could feel the cool air of something next to you head spinning at the thought of someone something watching you walk towards the male in the chair “ look at me “

your eyes found his quickly “ good girl “

you smiled softly before he spoke “ why are you smiling? who told you to smile— I can take my deal back just as fast if you don’t listen to me “

you straightened up but still shifting your weight between your other foot

“ I need you to do something for me y/n ok “

your eyes moving around jittery thanks to the new change in air

“ calm down pretty girl only you can do it that’s why i’m asking “

his voice was soft as he looked up at you “ I know you can do it “

you felt everything in your body want to tell him you could and you would do anything if he could just give you more praise you loved the way he was talking you up

the way he was building you up and setting your building blocks up to build a nice home of safety for yourself that you’d never known

Light knew exactly what he was doing even in the beginning before the book he had a way with words and as his job with killing criminals progressed and he had to get people off his tracks it just got better.

He was sure he could find anything someone wanted and give It to them to make sure they did what he wanted them to

“ y-yes light “

he smiled “ I need you to do something that’s not gonna sound well— appealing at first “

your eyes concentrated on the floor as he snapped his fingers at you to say focus seeing you looking over to your side to see what this scary feeling of someone watching you was

“ here come sit because you can’t pay attention on your own “ he spit out “ obviously “

you moved slowly to sit in the open place hed made for you on his lap “ come on y/n “

you rushed to get over there plopping your butt down on his leg like a child with a pretend santa at the mall

“ it’s gonna sound scary I know but I need you to do it ok “

“ ok “ you sat in anxiousness you just wanted him to get to the point so you could happily say ye—

“ I need you to get shinagami eyes “

your face fell as you felt all your muscles tense , mind racing , face rising in confusion and fear as your body started to grow heavy and shake you were now understanding what you got yourself into

Your feet ready to run as you looked to the door and back to the male behind you who fell back into his chair with a groan and an eyeroll hand moving down his face in obvious annoyance and hands finally coming to a rest on his chin

You taking this moment to try to run

‘ misa can have this shit I will not be partaking‘

as soon as your body stood his left arm hooked around you and he pulled you right back into his hold only to separate his legs and have you sit between em’ so he could hold your waist in a deadly hold and his mouth could whisper into your ear

“ pretty girl what happened huh “ his fingers grabbed a piece of your belly fat through your shirt in a pinch “ you’ve been demoted now — your not a good girl anymore your a bad one y/n “

he pouted “ that’s not good “ his voice sounded disappointed as you sulked “ you were doing so good for me what happened huh “

you hated how your body felt weird you felt like you’d just failed him like you owed him something and couldn’t help but to give it to him because that’s what he deserved

but all you wanted to do was get out of here you didn’t want to give him what he desevered was that wrong was he right

“ you were just gonna leave me here to myself —all by myself alone with my book of dead people ? “ he sighed as he spoke into your neck “ dont you think that would’ve made me depressed “

he questioned “ what would have happened if I did something to myself because I was depressed huh “

his grip on you tightned pressuring you into answering

“ I-I don’t know light “

“ misa would have been so mad at you she would have blamed you for my actions could you live with that huh ? could you live with losing your best friend because you left me here in pain ? in obvious hurt crying for your help?“

“ no “

“ see you have to think about things before you do them ok minx “

you just wanted to leave why couldn’t you leave ? his words weren’t helping you were just losing yourself in them and thinking that you really were a bad person for trying to get out when you did

“ think about misa y/n think about me — I — I have a family y/n “

you body slumped at the thought of you ruining a family.

him picking up on it and only feeding Into it “ I do pretty girl I have a mom , a dad who works in the police force working his ass off to provide for our family god I wanna grow up and take care of a family don’t you think I can do that “ his mouth trailed back up to your ear his fingers interlocking with yours

“ maybe with you— your a nice girl right except for when your being mean right “ he smiled at your confused and hurt expression “ I have a sister — a younger one “

you perked up you always wanted a sibling you knew they were hard to deal with but just the thought of being there for someone or even having someone be there for you misa was like that to you

“ you—you have a sister “

“ yeah — she’s so smart and talented and I would love to grow up with her and see her live her life and be at her wedding even — I wanna grow up and have my own one of those too “

he laughed “ don’t you “

“ I - I don’t know light “

“ well whatever you wanted to do i’d be right by your side y’know“ your heart warmed had anyone even paid attention to you like this before

he sighed in your ear eyes looking forward at your hands that now stuck together with his “ y/n there’s a reason i’m asking you to get the shinagami eyes — I wouldn’t just be asking without a reason “

“ what is it because if misa has them you don’t need me you just want to fuck me over so I never tell anyone about your stupid book“

“ huh so you talk when you want to huh “ thinking back to earlier when you were so submissive to him where’d this come from ? He couldn’t say he was upset just a little thrown off at your sudden ability to speak up for yourself

he sat back in his chair “ I don’t like that “ he whispered under his breath “ maybe your not like her“

he smiled speaking louder and continuing his proposal for you “ no I just need you y/n -“

you froze

“ that’s it that’s all “ he came back up both his arms crossing over your stomach “ I like you y/n “

“ no you don’t “

he laughed “ why else would I let you stay here — in my room — after your friend left ? do you think I give a fuck if she’s mad if I didn’t like you I would have killed you — i’m not keeping you alive for her “

“ then wha— “

“ I just said I like you y/n “ his voice grew rough he was getting tired of this you changed too much for his liking either you were submissive or a brat pick one “ baby pay attention “

your body stalled ‘ he really has a way with words ‘

“ look I like being around you more than misa so it would do me a favor greatly to have someone who can help me and not annoy me“

he smiled “ imagine all the fun we can have together my love — all the times we can spend talking like we are now “

you bit your lip “ I just need you to say yes and go through the process to get the shinagami eyes “

“ light I don’t even have a book if i wa—“

he smiled sickly behind you knowing his foot was in the door “ correct which is why you need a book yeah ? “

“ um yes “

he moved the chair you two sat in over to his table smiling as he found the book he had for you “ look “

“ how “ your mind raced theres for sure no turning back now there was no reason for you not to help him. He obviously needed it like he said earlier, misa liked him so what could possibly be so wrong about him, and he seemed to like you back which was only a plus

“ don’t ask me questions “ he spoke “ not until you get the eyes ok“

“ ok—o-ok “

you reached out to touch the book as you smiled at him returning what he’d shown you when you peeked down at him

“ come on pretty girl put both of them “

you thought for a moment before you gave in and put your other hand on the book blinking before you met his eyes

“ d-did I do it “

he smirked “ not quite my love — here tell me if you can see this“

he turned you around as your body froze

“ and here I was silently praying that you weren’t stupid like she was when she listened to him and gave up ownership of her death note “

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

[khaleesiofalicante]

Here again! Idk what to expect of this chapter... So guess i'll read it anyways 😎

KITTY is my religion!!

"But he knew he was thinking something. Julian Blackthorn’s mind never stopped thinking." THAT MAN!!

Hljsusivs I love Jace so much! He deserves peace!! THAT FAMILY IS SUPREME!

"Lexi on the other hand, although loud and chatty, played hide and seek with her feelings. Jace wondered if it was something she had picked up from him." 🥺🥺🥺 I just want them to be happy

"They had been experiments, their lives and futures altered permanently as a result of one man’s ambition and madness." YESS. Why does no one a knowledge it???

"It always felt like it. But now Jace wondered if the comfort came from Cirenworth or the man standing in front of him." Don't be silly Jace, if course it comes from Jem!!

Dani you can just drop this chapter and make me fall in love with Jem all over again💙💙

"That's no way to talk to your great-great-great-great aunt, Herondale!" 😂😂 I love her!!

"If he moves, I move,” Can you stop being perfect for each other?? Jk, please continue :))

“The arrowhead,” Jace held out the weapon. “It’s an elf bolt.” NO SHIT! This is going to cause trouble

Okey, so hear me out, maybe, JUST MAYBE, its the Cohort, and they are doing this so shadowhunters blame seelies and that leads to a war... We know those lil shits are smart, so they COULD... but Idk tho...

Yess. The Lightwood-Bane family deserve better!!💙💙

Nooo, now I got to go do my chemistry proyect about atoms I have been procastinating about :((

Like... Ma'am I dont even remember how to make a model anymore, I havent done one in more than 5 years... Anyways, better go... 

Back again... After like 5 hours, nvm lets continue:

Magnus is not sleeping well!! *inster "see you later, hates" vine*

"I will protect you, Alec silently promised. I will protect our family." 🥺🥺

Malec looking for strenght on each other is my reason to live!!!

"Alec wasn’t sure how long he had himself." Nope, not taking that shit Alec!!!

Malec be like: Will you🥺🥺 be my buddy🥺🥺so we can🥺🥺stay together🥺🥺if they try 🥺🥺 to kill us🥺🥺??

"Selena was pretty sure she would never get caught." Wait, what?

MICHAEL!! I'M LOVE HER!!

"Not that the two of them were dating of course" and "Her…feelings for Michael grew stronger every day." 💙💙 LOVE

"By every time she tried, she remembered it wasn’t Michael’s fault." YESS. Like... Its not her fault. Sometimes you dont know better and grow up believing your parents are always right...

Michael cocked her head. “Then what am I to you, Selena?” Selena blushed and looked away. “It doesn’t matter.” (I have no other choice but ship this :))

“You’re the only thing that matters to me.” kehevfirkfbe I CANT- 💙

Its 1:34 a.m and my battery is at 14%... Yeah, I can do this, I slept more than 8 hours yesterday, so no problem :)

"He had spent the entire day in Cirenworth with Mina. She had needed him today. She had needed her best friend." 🥺🥺 I love them!!

"For a moment, when the four of them were in each other’s arms, Max felt like there was nothing in the world that could hurt them." slgeyfki this family really is the dead of me💙💙

"Max noticed Rafael was leaning on their dad heavily." I dont like this. It has something to do with Anjali... and the cure he is looking... Ugh Idk

“Uh, didn’t you try to take away your boyfriend’s immortality behind his back?” Max asked. “Touché, son,” dad muttered and buried his face in Bapak’s shoulders. (please dont do this to me, I'm supposed to be asleep😂😂)

"Rafael had left the apartment - through the fucking window!" That lil shit!!!

“Little David had a crush on Alec Lightwood.” seriously, im holding back my laugh so hard😂

”David was a human first, and a shadowhunter second." Daily reminder that David is perfect 💙

Mavid!!!

Wait, the day what??? The day you get what David??

“It’s yours if you want it.” “The necklace?” David asked and then added carefully. “Or the name?” “Yes,” Max smiled. (Oh god, oh god, I cant 💙💙)

“Mon ange,” David whispered. “What does this mean?” “It means I love you,” Max kissed his boyfriend. “It means you are my family now.” (Mavid is just so fucking beautiful!!!)

“But it’s a promise. A promise that I am yours and you are mine.” THIS IS TO BEAUTIFUL AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!

“David Beauchamp,” Max whispered. “Welcome to the family.” I'm literally about to scream 🥺🥺

Jsisbosbd I'm crying silently, send help!!

Ajudueje it wasnt wise to read it right now with 5% of battery!!!!

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!

Now I got to go cause my phone is dying

I loved the chapter!! It was amazing as always💙

Loved this! Thank you 🥺

Hope your phone is recharged - and so are you 🤭💚

Also atoms are so tiny and yet cause so much chaos smh 😭😭😭

Here is a tiktok for you: Rafael @ Mavid

[cake-in-a-tin]

this is for @silversickles‘ wolfstar minifest, and the day 2 prompt - detention. sorry this got a bit long, haha. hope you like it! Remus couldn't believe he’d gotten a detention. Like come on. He hadn't been doing that much wrong. Well, maybe he had but that wasn't the point. The point was that Severus Snape was for it next time Remu saw him, because boy oh boy was he going to pay. And on top of that, Sirius was gonna be in detention as well. Could it get any worse? 

Any worse than what, some people might have been wondering if they had been transported to Remus’ thoughts at that moment. Any worse than being stuck in a room with your crush, who also happens to be your best friend, for an hour and a half, that's what. Any worse than having been avoiding said crush because when you were around him you couldn't actually form coherent sentences. 

As it turned out, it could get worse. “Right in here boys, you will be sorting through the files of bad behaviour, something that has to be done at least once every fifteen years.” Filch sneered. “One day, maybe someone will be looking through files about you. Think about how much work you’ve given them, eh.”

A tiny storage cupboard. Of course. Of fucking course. Remus sighed and braced himself for the awkwardness that was sure to come. He was bad enough while he was around people he was just friends with, barely able to hold a conversation without becoming too self conscious, so how was he meant to deal with keeping up a conversation with Sirius fucking Black. Especially in close proximity. 

“This is bloody ridiculous.” Sirius was complaining, while loosening his tie in a way that infuriated Remus. Why should he be allowed to do that. Why should Sirius be allowed to unbutton the first three buttons of his shirt. It was bloody unfair, because if remus ever dared try something like that he'd get called a wanker, but of course all the girls were fawning over Sirius. Made the prospects of him liking Remus back even slimmer. Who in their right minds would like him, a bloke, when there were dozens of girls willing to be with them. Nobody was the answer to that question. Absolutely nobody.

Sighing again (a lot of sighing was going to take place this evening, Remus could tell) he pulled open a drawer and started to flick through the many reports of misbehaviour from the past years at Hogwarts. Remus was honestly relieved that Siirus wasn't trying to make small talk, he couldn't deal with that at the moment.

Around fifteen minutes later the two boys were startled by the door to the storage room banging shut and the distinct sound of a key turning in a lock came from outside. 

“Hey!” Remus yelled, and peered out the small window at the top of the door, where he could just see Snape's greasy head disappearing around the corner.

“Snape, that fucking asshole.” he growled under his breath. “I’m gonna get him for this jesus christ.”

After a quick try of alohomora, which didn't work, Remus remembered that all rooms with confidential things inside were only unlocked by a specific enchanted key. A key that Snape seemed to have. He swore under his breath.

Sirius was being unusually quiet, and Remus looked round at him. He was shocked to see him curled up against the cabinets, taking quick, uneven breaths.

“Sirius? Are you alright?” Remus could make out Sirius quickly shaking his head in the dim light, and knelt down next to him. Unsure of quite what to do, he rested his hand on the other boy's shoulder. 

“You need to take deep breaths, okay? Slowly, with me...” Remus started taking slow, deep breaths, trying to keep calm himself, and act as though there was nothing wrong, or at least, as though he wasn't too worried, so Sirius wasn't worried about him. After a couple of minutes of deep breathing, Sirius seemed to manage to slow his breaths down, but he was still shaking slightly. Remus, who still had his hand placed firmly on the other boy’s shoulder, gave him what he hoped was a soothing rub on said shoulder. Sirius, to his surprise, leaned into his side, so he quickly moved his other arm up, to hug him, and try and stop the trembling. 

“I’m so sorry about that, Remus,” Sirius murmured.

“Dont you dare fucking apologise Pads, I just wanna make sure youre okay.” Remus moved his head so he was looking right in Sirius’ shining eyes, which were red from crying. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah… I think so. I mean…shit. It's never been quite as bad before.”Sirius was very quiet, almost mumbling.

“You mean, this has happened before? Siri, you know you can talk to me about anything.” Sirius let out a watery chuckle.

“Your dont wanna listen to this Re, trust me.”

“I do. And i'm not gonna judge you. I just wanna know what's up. It hurts so bad knowing that you're in pain and you aren't telling me. I don't think you quite grasp how much you mean to me Pads. Seriously - do not make the joke - you are the most important person in my life right now, and i can't bear to see you struggling like that. So please just talk to me.” Remus took a deep breath. Had he really just said that stuff out loud to Sirius’ face? If he laughed- oh god, Remus didn't think he would be able to handle that, he’d probably just die of embarrassment on the floor.

“It's just - this reminds me of my mother's punishments.” Sirius was speaking. Quietly, yes, but he was confiding in Remus. “She’s been especially bad this summer. I’ve been trying to take most of the blame, because i can't bear to see Reggie hurt, but the easiest way for her to get to me is just locking me in the wardrobe upstairs. I spent hours in there Re. Sometimes a day or more.” He took a deep shuddering breath, and Remus just pulled him tighter to his side, silently fuming at Walburga Black. “I felt like I couldn't breathe in there. It was pitch black, and of course I couldn't use my wand to make light. I couldn't eat either. 

“Then today when snape locked us in (fuck him by the way), it just felt like it was her doing it all over again. Oh jesus bloody christ you dont wanna hear my fucking sob stories, im sorry Re. I just needed to get this off my chest.”

Sirius visibly relaxed against Remus after he'd said all this, who rested his cheek on the shorter boy’s dark hair. 

“What did I say before? Dont fucking apologise. You don't deserve any of that stuff. I’m going to kill your mother next time i see her, you're gonna have to keep a firm grip on me.” Sirius laughed at this.

The two boys sat in comfortable silence, taking deep breaths together, still in sync, like two halves of one person, connected in some way. The dark surrounded them, but unlike before, it wasn't tearing at them, or confining them. It was just there, co existing with them.

“Hey Re?”

“Mmhm?”

“You mean a lot to me as well.” Remus’ heart skipped a couple of beats. Sure Sirius probably meant this as in friendship terms, but still…

“Sorry?”

“You said earlier that I mean a lot to you, and i wanted to tell you that you mean a lot to me too.” If this was one of the muggle books Renys had been reading recently, this would be the point where he and Sirius confessed their undying love for each other and made out until the chapter ended. But this wasn't one of those books, this was real life. Sirius had just had some sort of anxiety attack, and they were locked in a storage cupboard for Gods’ sake. Plus, Remus was perfectly content just sitting in the dark, head resting on Sirius’ until someone came and found them.

[kingofbr00klyn]

Newsies prompts! Yeah! Um... 1. Jack being a big brother to Race. 2. Crutchie and Racetrack getting into some trouble together. 3. Jack and Spot caring for some of the littles. Pick one or write them all idc. Can’t wait to read!

Hi this took me like 4 days to write, I thought it was longer than that but okay, I have loads of other stuff in the works, this is just the first one I finished. Sorry for the wait. So this is for the prompt we’re Crutchie and Race get into trouble.

I tried to mix both 1992sies and livesies in this, but I don’t think it really comes across. Also, this story is ever so slightly exaggerated, but oh well. But it’s been a while since I’ve written anything, so this probably isn’t the best.

This will also be found on my AO3 account.

"Remind me ta never listen ta you again."

"How was I'se suppost ta know this would 'appen?"

"Well, I dunno. But now I’m in trouble because a’ summing I didn’t even do."

“Oh c’mon! Nuthin’ bad happened. I came out worse than you did. You get to go home scot-free.”

“But still. This is all your fault an’ I’m gonna make sure everyone knows it.”

"Wow, Crutch, whatta' way to throw a pal under da bus."

"You'se deserve it."

Race rolled his eyes and sulked further down into his chair, only to regret it when the hard plastic rubbed uncomfortably into his back. He glanced at his companion, who looked just about as shit as he felt. Crutchie kept nervously running a hand through his hair and fidgeting with the helm of his shirt, he looked like someone who had just been caught doing something illegal. Oh wait, that's because he had. Let's take a step back, shall we?

2 hours earlier.

Crutchie stood outside his door step, awaiting Race's arrival. The two had decided to spend the evening together, since none of their other friends were available. Race had said he would pick him up at 6. After Crutchie's watch ticked 6:15, Race's old TP Cruiser pulled up. He wore a bright, cheeky grin as he leaned over to open the passenger side door. "Get in loser, we're going shopping!" Crutchie gleefully obliged, grabbing his crutch and sliding into the front seat.

"Are you ready for the funnest night of yer life?" Race asked, a unlit cigar hanging loosely from his mouth.

Crutchie laughed. "We'se just goin' ta the diner on 4th, ain't we?"

"Nope," Race grabbed something from the cupholder beside him and handed it to Crutchie. "Just got this from my guy. Thought we'd treat ourselves tonight." It was a fake ID.

Antonio Higgings

11/12l1997

XXX XXXX XXX

XX/XX/XX

XX/XX/XX

"Yer guy?" Crutchie snorted, handing the card back. "You'se mean Albert."

"Maybe I do. Anyway, I'm low on cigs and shit, so I thought we'se stop by a corner shop and see how well this baby works." Starting the engine, Race pulled out of Crutchie's drive and set off for the nearest place that would give them what they wanted.

"What if we'se get caught? I don't wanna be done just because you'se got a nicotine addiction." Crutchie offered, messing with the diles for the radio.

"Then I punch Albert in the face," Race resorted. That drew a snicker from the blonde. "But seriously, don't worry 'bout it. Everthin's gonna be a-okay!"

Spolier altert; it wasn't.

After 10 or so minutes of driving, Race pulled to a stop and poorly parked the car. "Eh, good enough." He got out, with Crutchie tailing right behind him.

"You don't gotta come in. Ya know, cuz yer so scared of gettin' caught." The taller boy mocked.

Crutchie retaliated by hitting Race in the leg with his crutch. "I'm comin' wit' cha so you don't get punched in the face." Race forged offence, but waved off the comment.

The shop was small, just your regular off-licence, cheap booze with an even cheaper taste, the perfect thing to fuel Race's needs. A little bell rang as they opened the door, there weren't many people inside the shop, Crutchie noted the few middle aged men who were likely in there for similar reasons as themselves. Race swaggered to the front counter, an air of confidence around him. The shop clerk, a young man with a stoic expression, rolled his eyes at the tall blonde.

"What can I get you?" The clerk's tone was as cheerful as expected.

Race grinned cockily. "A smile would be a start, sweetheart," The shop clerk didn't respond, but continued to glare the boy down. "Okay then… A box o' ya finest Corona's and summa that scotch ya got up there." Race slapped $50 on the counter, along with his fake ID.

The clerk picked the card up, eying it suspiciously. Crutchie had a feeling this wouldn’t end well. “Yah think you’re funny, kid? Think I don’t know what a fake ID looks like?” The clerk said. “I’m gonna have to call the cops, you know.”

Race’s expression floored. Disbelief and fear quickly made itself at home. Crutchie felt a similar dread rise up in his stomach, he looked to Race for an inkling of what to do next, but the tall boy just continued to stare dumbly. Until he finally said, “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill Albert.”

As it turns out, the shop had an undercover officer outside the shop to deal with instances like this. The clerk called him in, and he escorted Crutchie and Race to the local station. Luckily, they had pretty much just been given a slap on the wrist and a call home. Except, since this wasn’t Race’s first offence, so he had also been slapped with a $50 fine.

The boys anxiously awaited the arrival of the parents. Race had already had a million and one messages from his brother, Jack. The sonva’ was having a field day with this. Text after text about how much trouble Race would be in, how he was grounded and how much shit Jack’s going to give him for this. Race ignored his brother, instead opting for spamming Albert with a variety of angry messages in all caps.

GottaGoFast - RedHeadHoe

19:05

GottaGoFast: ALBERT FUCKING DASILVA

GottaGoFast: U FUCKING BITCH

GottaGoFast: IM SO GOING TO KILL U

RedHeadHoe: ???

GottaGoFast: im at the police station

RadHeadHoe: oh what did u do now???

RedHeadHoe: OH

RedHeadHoe: YOU GOT CAUGHT

RedHeadHoe: HA

GottaGoFast: YEAH AND ITS ALL UR FAULT

RedHeadHoe: how is it my fault???

GottaGoFast: BECAUSE UR THE 1 WHO GAVE ME THE ID

RedHeadHoe: dude u didnt have to use it

RedHeadHoe: also i dont make them so it aint my fault

RedHeadHoe: blame my guy

GottaGoFast: ur guy?????

RedHeadHoe: ye

RedHeadHoe: skittery

GottaGoFast: ok but ur still dead

RedHeadHoe: cool

GottaGoFast: dentys gonna be here soon so gotta go

RedHeadHoe: good luck my dude

GottaGoFast: fuck u

RedHeadHoe: :)

Race slipped his phone into his pocket, just in time to see some familiar faces walk though the station door. Bryan Denton, Race’s foster father, walked up to the receptionist desk, before being pointed towards where the boys were sitting. Race looked at Crutchie, before straightening his back and putting on his most charming smile. "Heya Denty!" Race beamed, hoping to the gods above that this would go in his favour. Bryan didn't look particularly mad, but Denton never really got mad. It was like the man was incapable of it, it was great, and Race had done a lot of things that would cause any parent to flip their shit.

"Race," Bryan started, calm and collected as always."What were you thinking?" Okay, maybe it wasn't as great as Race thought, Denton's tranquill state was quite unsettling at the moment, Race had no idea what he was thinking.

"We'se just wanted to have a bit a' fun, ya know, teenage stuff," The blonde rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Did they'se tell ya 'bout da fine?"

"Yeah, they told me over the phone," Denton said. "I'll pay it and then we'll go home. Jack's waiting for us in the car.”

Race rolled his eyes. "Oh yay."

Crutchie didn't really pay much attention to the scene in front of him, he was too caught up in his own head. Fear and worry filled his thoughts, his grandmother wasn't the most forgiving then it came to things like this. Crutchie remembered once when he was 7 and snuck out of his room in the middle of the night to get one of the freshly baked cookies his grandmother had made that day, the elderly woman had found out about his midnight snack and boy was there hell to pay. She wasn't particularly mean or nasty, she could just be strict at times.

Times like these, Crutchie thought as he saw his grandmother barrel towards him with an expression that would make the toughest of men wet themselves. "Charles Andrew Morris! You are in so much trouble, young man!" Oh no, she used his full name. He really was a goner.

"Race, I don't think I'm comin' outta this alive…” Crutchie said.

Race snorted. "Don't worry, my dude, I got this." Crutchie didn't have time to ask what 'this' was, as Race stepped in front of him and greeted his grandmother.

"Mrs Morris, so good ta see ya 'gain," Race started. That diverted the woman from her path of destruction, as she instead gave the blonde a striking glare. The Italian tried not to shrink under her gaze, opting to continue with his sentence. "So um, ya see, Ma'am. It wasn't actually Crutchie's fault, it was mine. So, err, don't punish him for my mistake."

What?

Crutchie was in complete disbelief. And he wasn't the only one, Bryan shared a similar expression. While Race was a good friend, he was also a bit of an asshole, so him taking all the blame for this (even though it was his fault), was a surprise.

Crutchie’s grandmother eyed the boy suspiciously, before she turned on her heels and walked away. “Come on, Charlie, it’s time to go home.”

Crutchie was slightly dumbfounded, but didn’t question as he hugged Race. “Thanks man.”

Race winked and smiled. “No problem, Crutch. Text me if you ain’t dead!”

“Will do!”

RiceCrutchies - Racer

21:35

RiceCrutchies: Guess who aint dead :)))

Racer: yayyyy

Racer: so what happened

RiceCrutchies: Gran wasn’t very happy but she wasnt too mad

RiceCrutchies: Im grounded for 2 weeks tho

Racer: oh well at least we had 1 last night of fun before that

RiceCrutchies: Yea so how’d it go with Denton???

Racer: not too bad

Racer: im also grounded but they took my cigs at the police station so i need to get more from Albert

RiceCrutchies: You think you would have learnt your lesson but ok

Racer: 👌

Racer: i gotta go crutch see you in school???

RiceCrutchies: Yeah, see you and try not to do anything illegal between then

Racer: no promises

RiceCrutchies: 🤦‍

[fanbynature]

Obikin x AU /part 1/

Here are some additional things to know before you read the fic.

The ages of some of the characters are: Obi - 28, Rex - 26, Anakin - 23, Ahsoka - 19 going on 20, Plo/Shmi - late 40s, Qui-Gon - early 50s

The thing about the setting is this: It’s still in the SW universe, so aliens, planets and the like still exist and I am mixing it up with our reality while using some slang from SW. It’s set in a peaceful time period, so it’s just a normal living situation for them at the moment. The Jedi are going to have a place in the story but nothing too major. I hope this is not too weird.

I was hoping this to be just a one shot but I had to go and write something that is deeper than just some shag scene. I do love readin just plain NC-17 stuff but this ain’t it one. 

There are some warnings /non-healthy life choices, mention of non-con/rape, foul language, ooc - it’s an au what do you expect/

Obi-Wan is in a punk-rock band by the name of "Space Maniacs" that has been active for a few years but has not been very popular until recently. They had started to search for a better studio to record their songs because the home soundproofed garage of Ahsoka's dad, as nice as he is, does not scream "professionalism". Or at least that is what Ahsoka and Rex had been trying to sell to Obi-Wan. Honestly, he does feel apologetic towards Plo, Ahsoka's dad, for all the inconvenience they have caused even though the man had said time and time again that he feels proud of their tenacity and doesn't mind as long as they keep out of trouble.

And when Obi-Wan meets Anakin, the musician tells himself that he may start believing in God, because it's a whole ass miracle that the man comes across the band. 'Cuz if a guy that cute knows the band, is offering his very real and professionally equipped studio plus has the total hots for a certain lead singer it must be some type of miracle created by the almighty Her or that's what Ahsoka had been going on about for the past 20 minutes in the backstage area of one of Coruscant's' better known night cantinas they had just performed at. The cantina is called "Dirty Habit" and tonight they may have met somebody that will be beneficial for the future of the band. At least that is what they are all hoping for.

Obi-Wan had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at the comment that the guy has the hots for him so he settles for a snort. Even if it was true the decision of having sex with someone that could be professionally engaged with the band, won't be a wise one to make. Even if Obi-Wan found the idea of kissing those plush pink lips and to have his hands go through those dirty blond curls, tugging them enormously enchanting. The younger man would make such pretty noises for him. Fuck, no. That is a dangerous zone to enter. He won't jeopardize this chance for the band just because of a shag. Even if it's the best shag he could have in his life.

The guy, Anakin Skywalker as he introduced himself 30-40 minutes ago to the band after they had finished their set made a very tempting offer that they can hardly refuse. He offered them a fully equiped studio to use for as long as they want for 30 cred each month. The band wasn't sure whether they can trust him because that seemed like a total scam, that in the end they would be the one that have to pay an enourmous amount of money. However he explained that he and his mother have a non-profit organisation that helps rising artists who struggle to find their footing. Anakin gave them their cards and assured the band that they can check them out first on their Infocache and confirm that everuthing is legitimate. He doesn't blame them as he understands the dangers of being a rising artist and the people who try and take advantage of that. The blond also explained that he has followed the band for quite sometime now, since they were still experimenting with their sound actually and choose to first observe them and later decided to introduce them to his mother and if everything with their donors went smoothly they would help them. And here he was, speaking with them, offering them a generous amount of help.

They thanked him, understood everything but came to an agreement that they need just a little bit of time and they will contact him back with their answer.

"Honestly, Nobi, I don't understand why we just didn't agree on it on the spot. Anakin seemed genuine and proper with his cards and polite talking. And not so polite ogling."

Obi-Wan glared towards Rex and flipped him off.

"What did I tell you about that nickname? Stop using it. It's annoying. Also, we should not appear desperate. Weren't you the ones that were yapping about how we should "behave more professional-like". I was trying to not appear like I was going to suck this guy off. And I am the one who is in the wrong?"

"He didn't seem to mind. Bet he would suck you off before you get the chance to do it. Haha" the young togruta tried to whisper talk but it was loud enough for the fuming ginger to hear.

"Seriously you too? Can I get a break from the two of you?"

"Whaaaat? Come on, Obi. I know you are irked because Satine decided to end up things but you seriously can't blame her or take it out on us." Obi-Wan was contemplating the ways he could make a murder look like an accident or suicide. "Honestly, you can't look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't know that this was coming. Like seriously, it was not going well."

Rex was watching his bandmates from the side and was sensing that things were going to either explode soon enough or their lead singer was going to storm out of the room to go get shit faced, sleep in some alleyway and get him and Ahsoka in trouble.

"Ahsoka." Both the man and the girl turned towards Rex. "I think it's time to stop with the jokes and get you home." The lead singer's eyes filled with gratitude towards the bass player and he gave Rex a little smile.

"Oh, Rex, you too. Let's have a little drink to celebrate. We deserve it. You two should stop behaving like old men. You are in your freaking 20s. Live a little."

"Rex is right. I have to go to work tomorrow morning. Get off me and prepare to go."

"That's not true. I know your schedule, it's your day off." Ahsoka scowled at Obi-Wan with disbelieve and crossed her arms in front of her. The man was trying not to snort at the display off childness of their youngest bandmate.

"Well, I decided to take a shift. The extra cash won't hurt us. Especially now that we have to pay for a studio." He smiled a little and gave Rex a knowing looking.

"So we are going to accept the help?!"

"Sure" Obi-Wan turned his gaze towards Ahsoka, gave her a bigger smile and then transformed his facial feautures into a more irritated emotion “Now let’s go because your father it’s going to kill me.” 

-----------------------------------------------

Of course, Obi-Wan didn’t have an extra shift and Ahsoka doesn’t have to know that. It’s not like he doesn’t want to get an extra shift, the thing is he can’t get one because he has the maximum available shifts his manager can give him. Other people have to work too, you kriffin menace, you know that right. Also I am going to tie you up to your bed and not allow you to do anything for a week straight if you don’t stop bugging me. Obi-Wan is slightly afraid of Cody now. He was even thinking of asking him to help in another position but he decided against it. Maybe Cody is right but that doesn’t mean that the Obi-Wan is going to listen to him. He has responsibilities and he can’t allow himself to rely on other people. Even if that was the reason him and his father have become estranged. It doesn’t matter, not anymore. He is a capable adult who does not expect other people to do his work. 

He may start to search for another job.

The ringing of the phone by the bedside brought up the troubled man back to reality. Shit, Ahsoka. Maybe he can ignore that. If he waits long enough it’s going to stop ringing. Ah, yes. Silence. Then a massage sound.

DONT IGNORE ME, KENOBI! I know.... 

Oh, for kriffing....She went to his job. Ringing again.

“Shouldn’t you be at Uni?”

“Shouldn’t you be at work? You liar. You know better than to lie to me, Obi-Wan. You should have just told me that your old bones were tired yesterday and Rex and I could have stayed and you could have gone home without lying. Also I have 1 hour brake and decided to visit your sorry ass. Know can you... ”

The older male was trying to remane calm as he knew that getting mad at the girl won’t be a sensible decision. She was right. He lied to her but she didn’t know earlier and was probably just worried that he was exhausting himself and wanted to check on him.

“Ahsoka, can you please slow down. Look, I am sorry. It was a stupid thing to do. Sorry for making you worried.”

Silence.

“If you want to...” Obi-wan started with a sigh but couldn’t finish.

“Next time just tell me the truth. I may be young and have to experience things but I am not daft....I am sorry too. For annoying you about Satine and the Skywalker guy. I was just trying to have some fun. But it was that peachy for you. I should have known better. It hasn’t been that easy for you this past year and I chose the wrong way of cheering you up.”

“When did you mature so much?” the older man was getting filled with a warm sensation in his chest. Proudness. The proudness of a big brother. Even if they weren’t related Ahsoka was close to him as any real sister he could have had.

“Tell anything to Rex and you are dead to me.” the girl warned him with an exaggarated threat in her voice.

“Hahah. I think Rex will truly appreciate the way you are starting to carry yourself, the way you think and sense the emotions in other people. He will love this side of you as much as he adores the careless, fun and cheerful side of you. Rex hasn’t been around as much as I have but his brotherly protectivness over you seems to be stronger than mine.”

“Stop it, you are making me blush.”

“It’s very much true. You know that one time-”

“So when are we going to talk with the Skywalker guy?” Ahsoka seemed to be in a rush and cut off the sentimental notion that the conversation was headed to. Obi-wan rolled his eyes. There haven’t been any time to really think about it but it has been sitting at the back of his head, constantly reminding him. The sooner he calls the better for the band. However there was this constant feeling of anxiety that was washing over him. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t tell his bandmates, they would think he is just not getting enough sleep or food. He can’t talk to Cody because he really had the chance to tell him anything about yesterday and Ahsoka was waiting for an answer now.

“How about tomorrow? If that’s alright with you Miss Ahsoka?”

“Of course, my leash. My very trustworthy Knight in armor or Jedi in robes. I don’t know. Choose one. That’s sounds fantastic. I’ll talk with Rex and come by your house after I am finished. You just go and sleep, you old man.”

“Stop calling me an old man.”

“You stop acting like one.” she said with a mocking tone and hanged up.

Oh, Force. Sometimes he wishes he has chosen a different path for his life. This one seems like it needs a restart. Hm, maybe he should have become a Jedi. What he knew from his father is that he is Force sensitive but when a young Jedi had come to speak with Qui-Gon about the future of his child he had declined the offer of giving Obi-Wan to them. They had a long conversation and had concluded that as an ex-Jedi Qui-Gon had the abilities to keep his son save and help him if there was any trouble. So in reaching an agreement of Obi-Wan’s future as a Force Sensitive kid he can say that he had a pretty normal and stable upbringing. Well, except maybe a few instances. Some of those were his own fault so he couldn’t really blame the people that came across him. He turned out quite decent in end. For the most parts.

However from the texts which he could find about the Jedi some things seemed more appealing than others but certainly they didn’t feel as they were too far way from him. He could have easily fit with the culture. But he loves music too much too give it up now. He loves Rex and Ahsoka as his own family and he doesn’t want to let them down. 

----------------------------------------------- 

3 hours later

There was a banging from somewhere outside but the drowsiness from the sleep couldn’t quite allow him to register where it came from. After a few more moments of banging and the voice of Ahsoka, Obi-Wan finally came to his senses. The door. 

He rubbed his eyes and yelled a muted “I am coming. Stop doing that. The door is going to fall.” He was still sleepy and couldn’t find his slippers so he just headed barefooted with one open eye towards the door and opened it.

“Finally. We were going to- Can, you please put something on ?” Ahsoka looked her friend up and down, unimpressed and passed by him to go inside. 

What in the blazes... His sleeping habit of undressing himself had acquired for the first time when he was hitting puberty and he couldn’t exactly explain what is what connected to. It’s probably the most embarrassing habit he could have developed, especially when the first time it happened was during summer camp with the freshers being mixed and him trying to sleepwalk to there in the early morning with his blader not allowing him to sleep. He couldn’t have predicted that there would be somebody else. He also didn’t know about the lack of clothes on him. With the years it got less frequent, thank the Force.

“We brought food and a holofilm. It’s the crime-suspense one we have been wanting to watch.” Rex tried to hide his smile and not to comment that his friend hasn’t been able to outgrow his adolescent habit. It’s not like everyone can train their brains to do what you want them to do, damn it, Rex.

“Did you come here straight from Uni?” Obi-Wan was trying to speak to the younger girl while she was putting the popcorns in the nanowave and just not staying in one place. He had two rooms + fresher and a balcony. How much more she can move?

“Sure. Why?” she moved to the balcony taking a pack of cigarettes. Obi-wan took the whole pack out of her hands and threw them to Rex. “Hey, come on”

“Not good for you.”

“Look who’s talking. Blondie, pass them back.” 

“I ain’t getting into the middle of that. I am just minding my own business, thank you very much.” 

“Chicken” Ahsoka puffed her cheeks out, signed and put her hands on the balcony’s metal barrier. 

“You should spend more time at home. I thought you stopped being a bratty rebel who didn’t like her dad that much with no reason.” 

“I did. And I do. I do spend time at home I mean.” A few beats pass by them, looking to the Coruscant’s landscape, basking in the noises of the city and background noises of Rex doing something in the kitchen. Ahsoka straightens up and turns around towards her friend, looking at the ground, playing with something in her hand. “I love my dad, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes there comes a time when you just feel like you have to split from each other and live alone.” A few more beats pass by “You understand better than anybody I know.”

“Of course I won’t judge you if you want to live separately from your father if that’s what you mean. I do hope you talk to him first and not just run away.”

“Absolutely. I am not that irresponsible, not anymore. I am sure he will miss me and it would be much harder for him than it is for me. I just need this at this point in my life.”

“I am sure he will understand. He is going to absolutely throw you “a goodbye party”. Or more likely “get home sooner” one.”

“Oh, Siths. Please don’t make me imagine this. It just sounds embarrassing.”

“Rex is totally going to get everything filmed.”

“I already know that I am going to kill him.”

Both of them laughed at the ridiculous situation. Obi-Wan placed his hand on the younger girl’s should in a reassuring manner. 

“Whatever you decide to do I am here for you one hundred and ten percent of the way.”

The togruta smiled at him and pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks, big bro”

“Oi, the sappy bunch, are we going to watch a movie or what?”

The other two rolled their eyes and returned back inside. While the two were chatting outside Rex had set the snacks and drinks on the coffee table and prepared the film for just pressing the play button. 

“Hey, look what we’ve got here. Can you believe, Obi. Our bassist is good at more things than just looking good, playing the bass and getting us a free drink.”

“He is sometimes good at repairing stuff. You gotta give him that.”

“Oh, yeah for sure.” the other two snickered while the blonde was flipping them off.

“Haha, you guys. You are a golden comedy duo. Can we now just watch the damn film? “

“Absolutely”

Halfway into the movie, Ahsoka fell asleep and the guys let her sleep on the bed and called Plo so he won’t worry about his daughter being kidnapped or something else. He told them that he could come to pick her up so it won’t be trouble for Obi-Wan but the younger man reassured him that it was no problem at all.

“So we are calling the Skywalker guy?”

“That is what you want, guys, right? I am not making that decision just on my own and just presuming your opinions.”

“Yeah, it is.’

“Then it’s decided.”

The two men were sitting on the floor cross-legged, drinking whatever was left from the things Rex and Ahsoka brought. 

“Do you want something stronger? “

“What do you have in mind?”

 “Cheedon whiskey. You know that is not my usual preference but someone who I used to fuck from time to time gave it to me recently as a gift for our good times. Amusingly he was there when Satine and I, well Satine to be precise broke things off. “ The ginger was pouring the drinks while talking and his bandmate was watching him cautiously .”But this is a great drink. Let’s drink to our future success. Cheers.”

“Cheers.” Rex watched his friend enjoying the brown beverage going down his throat and then looked at his own and sipped a little. Making a face because of the burning sensation of the drink. It had good after taste but Rex is definitely not the biggest fan of this type of liquor. He prefers his beer.

“How are things with after Satine? I mean I know you don’t like sharing the hard stuff with us, especially me. You sometimes talk to Ahsoka but you haven’t said anything. What I am getting at is that I am worried. We are worried, with Ahsoka. And we want to know if everything is really fine.”

Obi-Wan knew that Rex didn’t like initiating conversations with serious topics. He was usually there when you needed him, he doesn’t ask you a question, just stays with you until he knows you are ready to tell him what’s wrong. And Obi-Wan could sense the uncomfortableness in Rex’s everything. The older male greatly appreciated what his friend was doing for him and he didn’t want to just blow him off. He knew that it took strength to do something you don’t enjoy doing.

“I can’t blame her. As much as I want to say it was both of our fault. It was mine. I just wish she could have done it sooner for her own good. I was too much of a coward to leave her. I stayed with her just because I was used to it, but I didn’t really feel the way I felt before and it wasn’t fair to her. And that not being the worst part. Now cheating is what an immoral person does.”

“You know that wasn’t the full story.”

“Wasn’t it? I remember it differently.” Obi-Wan was pouring his third drink now and Rex was thinking of hiding the bottle. Or plain pouring it out into the sink.

“You don’t remember half the night. That is the problem. You are trying to take the full blame for something you weren’t even half-conscious to do.”

“But I was conscious enough to kriffing get it up and stick it up into a guy’s ass. Wasn’t I, Rex?” The ginger was trying no to raise his voice so he won’t wake up Ahsoka but he was having a hard time. He stood up, cursing under his breath, took his cigarettes and went to the balcony. 

Rex was blaming himself for even raising the question. He knew better than that. Why did he even try to get something out of the older? He never wins with him. His brother is better than him with that. Dealing with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Kriffing Siths. He begrudgingly went to the balcony’s door frame and stood there. Shifting his eyes between Coruscant’s view and his friend’s back. 

“Look, I know it doesn’t matter what I say, you are going to continue putting the full blame on yourself, but just know that. I am on your side. I will call you out when it needs to be done. But not when you don’t deserve it.”

“I wanted it, you know that Rex. I told you. You were there.”

“You were drunk. He wasn’t.”

Obi-Wan turned around with glistening eyes. Tears. 

“I said yes, Rex. I said it. I would-I would have said it even if I was sober, Rex. I know it. I do. I just-” the older male dropped to his knees. Putting out his cigarette and hanging his arms to the side.”I am just-just not sure anymore.” 

He looked up to Rex, with his cheeks already wet from the streaming tears. The blonde crouched down and hugged his friend. They stayed that like for a few minutes and Obi-wan spoke again, with a hushed voice.

“I think I am just trying to convince myself at this point. Not trying to fall apart. I can’t do it. If I fall apart I have to tell her. She can’t know, Rex. She’ll blame herself that she didn’t let me speak. It’s better that way.”

Rex pulled away from Obi-wan and sat on the floor across him, looking at his friend.

“You are kriffing idiot you know that. How is that better? Who is it better for exactly? Not you, that’s for sure.”

“Don’t say anything, Rex. Please. Not even to Ahsoka.”

Rex was wondering really hard how he could just prevent his friend from harming himself further than he already has. 

“I am not the person that is going to tell you how to live your life and what choices you have to make. That is your job. But I am the person who is going to be next to you until you want the help you need. Ahsoka and I are going to be here. Cody too. He cares for you too, even if he has “the though love makes you stronger logic”. Rex paused for a moment and continued “Your father will always be there for you too. Well, at least until you know. Nevermind.” He dies Rex thought.”Maybe things with Satine won’t be the same but they don’t have to be. The important thing is that you feel better.”

Obi-wan stopped crying and he was sniffling softly. Trying to get his composure back. He didn’t like showing his vulnerability. Even to his friends. He would start to think of himself as a burden but wanted to stop it.

“I don’t think I am ready yet Rex. I don’t think I am able to face it.”

“Look that is perfectly alright. As long as you don’t try and deal with it alone in an unhealthy way. We are here for you, okay.”

The only thing the ginger could manage as a response was a weak nod. He searched for his cigarettes and popped one his mouth. Rex picked up the conversation again.

“Truly the pot calling the kettle black.” he laughed a little to his friend’s earlier hypocrisy to Ahsoka. The older male looked at him confused.

“Huh? Oh, that. You know that I have tried to quit several times with no positive outcome.” He lit his cigarette and let out a blow of smoke.”It’s truly something I’ll never be able to fix.”

“Whatever you say, Nobi, whatever you say. Do you want me to stay more because the public transport will soon stop and the prices of the hovercabs are going up.”

“Nah, go. I am going to fine.”

“Call me when you get a word from Skywalker.”

‘Absolutely.”

----------------------------------------------- 

The next day came faster than he expected with the bustling city noises waking him up. He forgot to close the door to the balcony last night. He remembered dragging himself from the outside, laying down his futon and just laying down. Now he had a duvet, which he didn’t remember getting. Ahsoka. She is still sleeping. He realised it’s still early as Ahsoka haven’t gotten up and she usually doesn’t have classes until late morning or early noon. He wasn’t sleepy, which meant his day will be longer and that annoyed him to no limit. He grunted and pulled the duvet over his head.

“Can you please just let me sleep for one more hour? Your grinding teeth are really kriffing annoying you know that. I think you should really go and let a doctor check you out. You have too much sleeping habits. It’s not healthy.”

“I just woke up and you are already annoying me.”

A small heart-shaped pillow flew over his head almost hit him in the face.

“You missed.”

A creak from his bed followed by footsteps on the wooden floor. His eyes were closed so he did not anticipate a soft yet hard hit on the face by a larger pillow.

“I think not. Ugh, now I am woken up. Make us some coffee. You are the host. Be one.”

“Half of my wardrobe is filled with your clothes plus a couple of your shoes. I think you can make your own coffee.”

“You are unbelievable.”

A small scratching noise was coming from the window outside followed by a meow. Ahsoka’s head snapped towards the noise and she went to check it out. There was a middle-sized loth-cat. The cat’s whole body was white except a patch of brown on top of each eye. Which was now meowing in Ahsoka’s feet, not knowing if it could do anything else

“Did you get a loth cat and not tell me?”

“She’s not mine. She just came one day and I started feeding her. She comes from time to time and I give her food when I am here. She seems like she’s domesticized. She had a collar when she first came but not anymore. Didn’t have a tag or anything like that.”

The togruta had already started making noises at the animal and petting her. Obi-Wan got up, when to the kitchen and took out a packet from the cupboard under the sink. He passed the girl with the cat in her lap, went on the balcony and poured the food into a green plastic bowl. The cat run next to him and started eating. He petted her for a bit and stoop up.

“Okay then. I think it’s time you get ready for Uni and I am going to make us breakfast and then I am going talk to Anakin.”

“Okay, boss. Oh, there is something else I want to talk to you about.’

“Sure. What is it?”

“Um, I have actually started to look into some places where I can move to live. As you know I received some loan and grants before I entered Uni so I have some money saved and can live for a while on those. But I was wondering if you could still help me with checking out when I pick a place if it’s legit or not. You have some experience so I think it would help me greatly.”

“Yeah, yeah. No problem.”

“Okay, I have more to tell you but I am going to shower first.”

The ginger laughed to himself and returned his attention to the breakfast. He hasn’t cooked for himself in a while. Running on coffee and cereal lately hasn’t been that great on his health but work kept him from making healthy choices. Okay, he kept himself from making healthy choices. A soft meow interrupted his inner monologue and his attention shifted towards the small creature which was halfway inside halfway out. 

“Oh, water. I forgot. What an idiot.” 

He filled an empty jar with water and went outside to put it into another plastic bowl but this one was blue. 

“Here, little one. Enjoy.”

The man smiled slightly and petted the cat softly again, trying not to disturb it, then he returned inside and went to finish making the food. While the man was occupied with his furry friend the shower noise had stopped and minutes after that the young togruta came out surrounded by fog.

“You should be thankful I don’t ask you for money for the electric bill. Half of it it’s yours. Doesn’t your skin melt off or something. “

“No, Mr Freeze who would probably shower in ice cube bath. I don’t have your endurance. “

“I could say the same to you.” Obi-Wan sent his most mature response - sticking his tongue out which was returned by Ahsoka with twice the emotion. 

“What else are you going to tell me.”

The togruta got closer to the kitchen counter and started making coffee for both of them

“Oh. I asked Cody if he can help me with a job in like a month or two. And he said that he won’t be needing any additional staff for the near future but he said he can speak with some friends of his that are in the business and will let me know if something comes up. ”

“That’s great. I am so glad for you.” Obi-Wan set everything on the table, while Ahsoka put some background music to enjoy while they were eating. 

-----------------------------------------------

[just-zenitsu]

Zenitsu should've had an arc where he slowly learns how to love himself with the help of his friends and realizes he's not weak and has worth and doesn't deserve pain and doesn't deserve to be treated like shit- I just want him to have some shred of confidence please please please please please ple-

ok so every time i had an ask like this ive always just said ‘but look at the bright side! what are hc and aus for! gotoge had problems,, etc etc’ and i feel like ive always just glossed u guys over and maybe even made it seem like these opinions dont matter so im gonna take the time to try and answer this a smidge seriously (under read more bc its long, also im not tagging bc tumblr might fuck up the formatting again rip) (also warning for manga spoilers)

(also disclaimer sdjfhksd i havent read the manga! so im gonna go off of other people’s claims about zenitsu having wasted potential. and to be fair ive read the few last chapters, or at least PARTS of them) 

im not new to having a favorite character whose more or less claimed to have had a lot of potential but losing it in canon bc of, for a lack of a more general term, ‘’bad writing’’. and im not saying kny has bad writing, i dont think im one to judge that JUST yet but for comparison yall should know that i have a fav character in another series that is written so badly that he has the personality of cardboard and was only given life thanks to fanon content. and i dont blame people when they say they dont like said character! its the same as zenitsu, only that this guy, this yellow idiot, actually has a much more solid grasp on how he acts/feels/does things! but more often than not, this linear perspective does damage to how deep his character actually goes, thus just making him the stereotypical ‘pervert’ in an anime. ive seen people say that he’s just the same as mineta!!! which is just. very sad for me

i understand why they’d think like that though, maybe there wouldve been a difference if kny became more popular b4 bnha, but who knows! anyways, back to zenitsu. now, i understand if people ever found his actions uncomfortable or annoying! but when people say that he’s just a crybaby and that he’s literally just dead weight that’s when i get,,, well, iffy. and this is kinda where the frustration comes, we see zenitsu overcoming these obstacles off screen, apparently it was even only just mentioned in a passing comment that zenitsu had stopped having to fall asleep to do missions and cried less when he was going on solo missions. these are the tidbits that i wish was shown more explicitly in canon, showcasing his growth and such. MAYBE it was touched upon once kaigaku came up, but thats another problem, literally kaigaku only showed up once in a flashback and then suddenly he’s a demon? sure a brief flashback that showed him being in gyomei’s orphanage wouldve been enough to put some light, but i think there was still some things that wasnt touched upon when we discuss how kaigaku was portrayed in canon. i think he’s even MORE misunderstood compared to zenitsu. they have (arguably) been in the same situation in their childhood, have drastically different personalities and dealt with it in their own way, but in the end i think he was just used so that zenitsu had a big bad he had to defeat. i think there wouldve been more impact if we were shown thunder fam interacting more, imagine how cool that wouldve been, ESPECIALLY if kaigaku just wasnt thrown into the manga and was given a chance to interact with kamaboko before hand. just, a lot to think about.

and now we have what happened in the last few chapters, w tanjirou becoming a demon and after all that zenitsu just says something along the lines of ‘ill make u pay for hurting me and my future wife (nezuko)’ which sucks to a degree. but count the fact that gotoge was inching towards zennezu, as i mentioned in a previous post, he was worried about nezuko getting hurt by tanjirou. im also a bit disappointed that he didnt really do much in terms of, well, caring for tanjirou, but one GOOD thing that i really liked happening was in the previous chapters bEFORE tan got turned to a demon, the part w him assuring inosuke that he can still hear tanjirou’s heartbeat, and then consecutively screaming at tanjirou that he had to stay alive, he went as far to say that he hears nezuko’s human heartbeat and that he has a family to return to, which was, surprise surprise, apparently somewhat a LIE! i cant confirm this unfortunately since ive long since lost the explanation but someone said that zenitsu wasnt actually able to hear nezuko’s heartbeat then, meaning he lied for tanjirou’s sake bc he knew that if he’d pull through something, he’d pull through it for nezuko. (there’s also that part where zenitsu fought hard to keep this family alive since well, he doesnt have one to return to, which is just. ouch) another thing i liked about this part is that he wasnt!!! crying!!!, but both inosuke and tanjirou were and dont u just love the irony. dont u just love it when zenitsu, resident crybaby of the demon slayer corps, is the one who shouts at the both of his friends, who are usually the ones pushing him, yelling at him to stop sniveling and fight, to raise their chins up and to not give up? i think these few moments are JUST ABSOLUTELY TASTY. 

but. unfortunately, they are glossed over once we have what happened in chapter 203.

tl/dr; zenitsu’s character is something much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. these points overshadow the fact that he’s a kind person, who was willing to protect nezuko despite knowing she was a demon just BECAUSE he trusted tanjirou that much and that he had a kind sound! he’s willingly THROWN HANDS when someone talked bad about kaigaku, a person he ADMITTED HE HATES, because he respects them as a person! zenitsu is much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. if only canon were able to explain much more clearly than these few tidbits that we were given.

//im crying at the club im so sorry this is so long oh god oh fuck. anyways ive been disappointed time and time again and ive long since really stopped looking forward to the best to my fav characters and ive been p negative in previous fandoms so its why i avoided complaining like this in this blog but yeah kjfhkjsdf thank u for reading,,, 

[cassyapper]

ohhh so i started playing yakuza kiwami (1) and boy

so i finished the first chapter and a liiil of chapter 2 for context and these are my mainline thoughts rn, they might be kinda messy

once again kiryu is pulling out his self-sacrificial specials and he ends up in PRISON FOR IT im so done with this man (i want to hold his hand and k*ss him)

nishiki is making me very very concerned. why is he acting like that. sera saved his kazama’s and kiryu’s ASSES in yakuza 0 and this mf calls an entire meeting just to twitter callout him??? listen i know it’s concerning sera seemingly lost TEN BILLION YEN but holy shit he’s been running this joint for over ten years now i would trust him to have some sort of plan or assume he just moved it from the original savings account jesus CHRIST nishiki 😭 also seriously he’s in kahoots with omi alliance too? don’t trust that. don’t like that. also his slick-backed hair style after the ten years is so BAD 😭

hm but i am concerned on why sera supposedly called that hit on kiryu in prison...why did he do that (if he did that idk if i trust the inmate who said it was sera)

anyway still speaking of nishiki he did not cope well with the thought that he might be useless at all huh. which i get, dont get me wrong, i completely understand why he’d be upset and why it would dig under his skin but holy shit he really just destructed the fuck out of himself. reina didnt deserve that

alas though i dont blame nishiki for killing dojima tho i wouldve killed him too. and i cant even blame him for kiryu’s self-sacrificial bullshit either cause nishiki was in shock over a) killing someone for the first time b) that someone being his fucking BOSS

speaking of reina that small lil implication that she had a crush on nishiki before everything went down kinda hrut. nishiki u stupid fucking idiot

ALSO yumi was cute but within like a minute of her screentime i was lke “haha yeah she’s gonna die” and well she’s not DEAD...but she is missing so :/ kiryu’s crush on her was/is so cute though i really hope she’s okay,,the ring ): i wonder if maybe that’ll help spark her memories of the night if she gets it again

majima u insane man he has it BAD bad for kiryu yall were not joking. mf really took flirting lessons from NISHITANI 😭😭😭 also i could not beat him when u fight him for the first time after getting out of prison like holy shit. and i assume that’s normal considering the dialogue/gameplay explanation afterward but jesus christ he is so SLIPPERY he is an eel

also i remember shinji from one of 0′s sidequests!!! what a fun little guy. i hope he’s okay he really looked up to kiryu i hope nothing bad happened to him in the past ten years ):

also one last thing idk anything about haruka other than she calls kiryu “uncle kaz” and kiryu adopts her (emotionally if not legally) so i am thinking she’s either nishiki’s kid or yumi’s but i have no idea how she ends up in his care or why nd i cant rlly think of a situation that would prompt it either. but i am excited 2 meet her

anyway sorry for this ramble post i am just thinking. this is gonna be a bonebreaker i think

[and-the-world-is-quiet-here]

Live 2020 debate commentary from a salty, disabled, and VERY pissed gen Z

 Yall he just said he’s immune

My dad just left the room

Bitch are u saying Johnson and Johnson is going to make the vaccine?

sir that’s the diaper company…..smh

Biden just said its going to be a dark winter

#winter is coming

“virus.....that came from china” -trump 2020

“were learning to live with it”-trump 2020

apparently “Biden lives in his basement”-your president 2020

totally accurate.....obviously

ohhhh biden just said were learning to die with it

trump interrupted biden

Mam I thought you said you were muting them?

biden laugh count at 3

he all about the once percent till its the dead ones

trump interrupting at 3...nvm its now 4

this debate is making my dog sad

interrupting now at 5 for trump

trump saying his young sons illness just “went away”

bitch he’s may age and no it did not just “go away”

he was in quarantine for two weeks

apparently nyc is a ghost town 

its not a ghost town trump I live right next to it

loudest neighbors ever

trump don’t call him Anthony

his name is DOCTOR Fauci

treat him with the respect he deserves

Biden looks so sad

nvm he legit looks like the joker right now

HALFWAY MARKKK

why is this at 9?

sir its a school night

I need time to scroll through my feed for hours before collapsing

Biden don’t use the word sovereignty

trump doesn't know what it means

thats discrimination against trumps

ohhh hes attacking hunter (biden) again

so he has a wee drug problem?

at this point everyone got one!

your the one making lewd comments about your infant daughter on national tv

(look it up he talks about his 6 month old daughters legs but and breasts)

get him big b!!

h876689908776- my dog 2020

he wants to express his disappointment

the light boxs is stealing his mother attention

ohh hes being rude to the moderator again

u a strong independent Indian woman get him girll!

mute his mike

prty plz

I am dissapionted in you

he’s saying he’s not allowed to release his taxs

(that is a proven lie)

“i was put through a phony witch hunt”- you'll never guess 2020

hes going after his BROTHER now

how is this allowed?

who decided trumps strategy would be to accuse his opponent of his own crimes?

look at the insults guys its a crystal ball

stay ahead of the scandal's

WILL YOU LEAVE HIS SON ALONE PLEASE

THESE ARE HIS CHILDREN LEAVE THEM ALONE

“i was a business man doing business”-trump 2020

no sir you were another rich white guy taking advantage of tax brakes and cheap foreign labor in asia

#american jobs as long as i don’t have to pay minimum wage

#you know like a DECENT FUCKING PERSON

Trump interrupted again

I lost count a while ago

Biden is staring into my soul

oh Biden just played the middle class childhood card

I haven't heard a single mute so far?

trump just said his bromance with kim jung un saved america from nuclear war

dont through my boy Obama under the bus

and another interruption

my big bro just screamed “MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON”

honestly same

10 more min guys

hang in there

OHHH trump just got MUTEDDDDDD

Biden is now on legitimate policy 

ahhh hes proud of his plan

annd trump just interrupted

trump just kissed up to the moderator

trump just said biden’s more liberal than bernie

ohhh

biden just said trump dosent know who hes running against

hes like “this is joe biden”

like I know bro but slick burn anyway

ohhh they muted trump again!!!!

perfect opportunity to mute missed

trump just blamed healthcare issues on nancy peloski

biden says the the republicans wont pass it

(btw hes actualy right)

2 mins left

and trump is speaking through it

1 min left

omg what a waste of air

I really want him to test his “immunity”

preferably during a harsh winter

ITS TEN GUYSSS

there running over

they still haven't covered immigration

shit

I have just learned there is 30 min left

I think I would rather kill myself than watch the rest of this

I’m seriously have a sensory overload right now

I’m doing this for u

“children are brought here by coyotes”-presedentail cown 2020

what a wack ass sentence

hes like ohIi haven't been putting kids in cages

and then just went but I didn't build them they were built in 2014

(contradiction much)

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

yes it was Obama but guess what

THEY WERNT BUILT FOR KIDS

there ment to house animals, evidence, and adult prisoners in emergency situations

THEY WERNT MENT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS

Biden was just like “well no actually kids come with PARENTS”

(kids hardly ever come over with out parents)

and then he was like and also WHO LOST TRACK OF OVER 1,000 PARENTS

(thats 500+ new orphans at the least)

hes saying only the illegal immigrants with the lowest IQs come back after being deported

we said the same thing in december about you but ya’know

my mum was like “anyone eating chocolate” and I was like “im snaking on this ignorance” and she was like “dont do that you'll get indigestion”

“no one has done more for the black community then Donald trump except for maybe Abraham Lincoln”

oh yeah Biden just brought up how trump publicly campaigned for the execution of the central park 5

WHO WERE CHILDREN

AND OH YEAH THEY WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT

trump just yelled at Biden, got muted, and just yelled louder

trump just said he cant see the audience but hes the least racist person in the room

“Abraham lincoln here is one of the most racist presidents in american history”- biden 2020

biden just went “oh god”

he just said that he used to not support the blm movement because they chanted rude things about police officers

I would like to reiterate that “pigs in a blanket” has never been chanted in a protest or been a prominent statement in the blm movement nor “fry em like bacon” so what trump is saying is factually incorrect

unless hes on some sort of far right conservative twitter feed were he came across a video of some drunk white college kids chanting it 

but you know what ever fits you narrative

plus I would be pretty pissed if I kept getting shot at for no reason so....

Biden making more logical decisions

trump was like why have you never done all this stuff when you were vice president

“we had a republican congress” -biden 2020

we have the cleanest air

we have the cleanest crystal clear water

sir, i know you've been to mexico

don’t lie

the waters gorges down there

and not owned by your smug ass

trump just called china filthy

so you know....

*whispers* racism

ok 5 min left

for real this time

trump just went “aoc plus 3: and then hes like she knows nothing about the climate

ummm.... you dont even believe in climate change

bidens like “are....is...is is”

good for you

correcting your grammar

trump just said “the wind kills all the birds” out of the godamn blue

(he means wind mills and its untrue)

“Whats the next question baba”

“the final question is leadership which he doesnt have”- baba 2020

I feel bad for anybody watching this on the toilet

bidens starring into your soul

he knows what your doing

there officially overtime

its 10 33

they haven't even done the last section yet

btw ITS A SCHOOL NIGHT

why do they host these so late

I should be pretending to be asleep right now

this is generational discrimination

plus trumps supporters are so old there asleep by now

ohhhh its over

1036 final time

okay so thoughts....I generally dont like the party system i think its ridiculous the system was not designed for it, and its now more about loyalty then the actual candidates. I also am really hesitant to put another strait white male in the oval office, especially one thats from “the lucky few” I.E. the smallest voting generation in the country and also the one that already holds the most positions. That being said, at this point its really anyone but trump and I think bidens got the experience to turn things around. 

I AM IN SCHOOL I CANNOT VOTE. I am relying on all my older friends, followers, neighbors, and community members. To make an educated decision that wont further degrade the once hopeful future my generation awaits. Please if you can vote VOTE the kids are relying on you!

P.S. sorry i wasn't able to edit this earlier i struggle alot with spelling and didnt have the time to edit this because I HAD TO GO TO BED AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL. Why am I more politically active then people twice my age you might ask? Well, thats because adults are lazy and need to get of their gd asses and VOTE. So kids dont have to do the legwork for them. 

I have said my peace now, have a wonderful day!

[irnwithdiego]

omg pls rant abt Lila i also have.. a lot of issues with her and how ppl have reacted to her character

okay well first and foremost: i Love ritu. i absolutely adore that woman and im so happy that she's finally getting the attention she deserves, i support her and david dating too - so my opinions are genuinely not based on anything to do with that. just bc ive been accused of that by people who didnt realize ive been rooting for them since last summer lol.

anyway.

my biggest issue with lila is the fact that she was introduced as a chameleon. as brilliant or clinically insane as the situation requires. unpredictable. to me that sounded so incredibly interesting, because right from the bat i knew she was gonna turn out as the bad guy, or at least one of them and i was HOPING she would. i was really hoping she would be going batshit crazy on them, doing her thing as the evil person, then when s2 came along she got revealed to be the handler's daughter which to me made it even more exciting? because thats potential to get REAL crazy.

in the end, what we got was half-assed and incoherent and neither here nor there. we didnt get a chameleon, we got a mirror. lol. i expected her to be able to adjust to situations and people perfectly, charming them maybe, yknow. chameleon stuff. (would've loved it if she for example looked different to everyone and nobody actually knows what she looks like, alas. that would've been too creative i suppose)

and yeah her humor was "twisted" in a way, and she was charming... in a way. not to me, not to five, and i think the fact diego fell for her is really just him latching onto another problem/person/situation he needs to fix. the guy with the biggest trust issues on the show, openly telling her he prefers to know what people are even lying about, trying to cut her off multiple times the entire season, getting kidnapped and drugged by her to be shown off and introduced as "boyfriend" (??), turns out to be in love with her. okay. makes little to no sense, but i suppose you could partially blame it on her ability to be unpredictable and a chameleon (i still dont even know what they meant by that, where is the logic in calling her that-)

her undressing diego down to his underwear was creepy as hell to me, she knew exactly he’s only been stabbed and there was nothing else. she patches him up and climbs in bed with him as if they’ve known each other for ages. diego seems a bit "eh" at first, then just decides to fuck her. alright. a) diego, the guy with the biggest trust issues- b) i could see it as a letting off some steam thing tbh, just destressing or whatever. but he still had the stab wound that he allegedly almost bled out/died from so..... lmao. makes sense. in the end it wasnt just a quickie, it was ~love~ and that just doesnt sit right with me.

she lies to him from the get go, she manipulates his every move, she's invasive as all hell, she cant take a no in most situations, but sure. its love. sounds healthy.

the whole clusterfuck about their weird asylum relationship got completely drowned out by her "trying not to fall for diego", which essentially just made her character seem to be all over the place. she seems unfinished, like they disnt really know what to do with her, started off strong and then went off track and couldnt get back on. it seems like they changed a lot of things last minute and i cant make sense of her actions, especially not the way they wanted me to. its clear they were trying to keep up this guessing game about whether she would turn good for diego and his siblings or betray him. it was executed so poorly though, it just feels incredibly incoherent. she contradicts herself more often than not, and fine, lets say they wanted her to look confused about her situation and everything - it was still executed so poorly idk how else to put it. she was neither crazy enough for me to believe the character sheet we got beforehand, nor was she innocent enough for me to believe she really wanted to join them.

she literally tries to KILL all of diego's siblings and him in the end. she only seems to be considering joining them very last minute, like minutes before diego's little speech she was about to erase the entire hargreeves family. and she looked like she was having fun doing it too lmao. just doesnt sit right with me at all. diego proclaiming he loves her after all THAT doesnt sit right with me at all. like what, he tries to get away from her pretty much all season but decides she's worth it only after she tries to kill his family? diego??? im- come on.

i appreciate the thought of a redemption arc, but she wasnt nearly evil enough for me to even believe her original intentions, so i dont really know what her redemption would even look like.

and last but not least - the chameleon vs mirror thing. :) bro. that annoyed me so much. she essentially just goes and god-modes the entire season within 10 minutes, to say it with the words of a friend. like what was the point of that? the logic? how did they even know she could do that, if they allegedly dont know where the other kids with powers are? who did she train her powers on? plus, this is the oldest trope in the history of sci-fi/fantasy stories. someone turns out to be able to copy/mirror back the great powers of somebody else and overthrows everything. yawn.

what makes the others special if she can do whatever they do. maybe its just me being nit-picky at this point but i really dont want it. its so boring.

i had such high hopes for lila, i seriously was so excited to see her and it Still feels like such a let down just thinking of how s2 turned out. dont even get me started on all of them NEEDING a love interest apparently. because you cant be happy without one. thanks, but no thanks.

"s2 is gonna focus on the siblings' relationships!!" my ass. lila and diego's ~bond~ was as unnecessary and illogical as klaus' powers suddenly tenfolding and his paranoia of the spirits just lowkey vanishing with no real explanation other than "he's sober now ❤"

so yeah, all in all lila just seems the least fleshed out, randomnly thrown together and a Bit forced on the romantic part. i would've preferred her just being the big bad and going mental in the end. that would've been an interesting character choice for her.

from the bottom of my heart: why not.

sorry if this is too long, i couldnt help digressing here and there.

[fairycosmos]

I want to say....ive been the most lonely this year after my closest family member died and then my closest friend left me after. Ive been beyond strong and forcing myself to stay active and involved in others lives....but it feels like im wedging myself in. They have partners. They have best friends. They have family. Im just there when i nag them enough to spend time with me. Dunno how to ever feel better about that but i guess it beats feeling lonely AND being alone.

oh god i’m so sorry to hear that love, it really goes beyond imagination or comprehension 😔 it seems like you’ve been through so much and the fact that you were able to maintain relationships with others to any extent is something you should be so proud of. you’re right, you’ve been unbelievably resilient, and it speaks to your character to the highest degree. obviously i have a very distant and one dimensional view of you and your life, and i have no idea what it’s like to be in in your shoes, so i’m just thinking out loud here, but...it seems to me, based on this, that you’re still (understandably) in quite a strong state of grief. you can’t quite wrap your head around the hole that has been left in your life and so you feel empty when other cant fill that void. at least that’s just the initial impression i got, i could be totally wrong. but it’s true that when we’re going through such high levels of emotional turmoil we often want to find any excuse to isolate ourselves so we can just say fuck it, and i feel as though your brain may be trying to do that to you right now. it wants you to feel meaningless so it feeds you this false narrative about how ‘unwanted’ you are, despite evidence of the contrary. try to recenter yourself and hold onto a sense of rationality when possible. the presence of best friends/partners/family in other peoples lives doesn’t mean that they don’t treasure what you specifically bring to the table. no one can take your place. it doesn’t mean they don’t carry love for you too, you know? it’d be easy to believe otherwise - if you push them away, you can’t get hurt. but i really want to urge you to examine where this feeling of exclusion is coming from, whether it’s from within or an actual external source. has anyone in your life done or said anything which indicated that they don’t want to spend time with you? or could it possibly be a projection born from your own fear and insecurities? if that is the case, by the way, i want to make it clear that i’m not blaming you for it at all. i mean, i’m exactly the same way. i just think it’s a good first step to be able to identify that that is what’s going on. it’s kind of a general rule that ppl wouldn’t choose to be around you if they didn’t want to be, and the pain you’re feeling right now doesn’t change that fact. i understand wanting to come first to somebody and wanting to feel like a priority. it’s a very human desire and you absolutely deserve to experience that. and i dont doubt that you will, over and over again in your future. it’s really not as impossible it seems in this moment. you’re more than worthy. but i think it’s still healthy to be able to appreciate all of the different dynamics you have with those in your life, and all of the different ways that they show you appreciation and affection. cause even if it’s not overt, it’s still there. you still matter, more than you know. have you been able to seek any support for dealing with the loss of your family member? i know we’re all in quarantine right now, and things aren’t exactly ideal, but i really want you to know that you’re not alone. and that you don’t have to try to handle this as if you are. there are a lot of counselors, therapists and mental health professionals who are still offering online appointments, and if you’re worried about money they’re usually open to negotiating a price. there are also a lot of online communities that can offer you suggestions in terms of how to implement healthy coping mechanisms into your daily routine, and detailed accounts of other peoples experiences. if that feels like too much - there’s even the option of calling a mental health hotline and just working through your options with them so you have an idea of where to go from here. death is one of the hardest things in the world to come to terms with and there’s no rule book or deadline, so it’s normal to need help in processing the denial, the anger, the acceptance etc. maybe focusing on taking care of that part of you will enable you to get to a place where you can be more vulnerable with the ppl around you. in turn, making you feel closer to them. it really seems like you’re in a difficult place right now so i appreciate that this all probably seems far fetched or overwhelming, but i’m just asking you to start with yourself and your own needs first and foremost, as it’ll likely have a domino effect on how you feel about others. it’s ok to talk about what’s going on in your head. it’s ok to admit to the shame/hurt/sadness because then you can start examining where it’s coming from and whether or not your emotions are truthful. whether that’s to a friend, your doctor, a family member, even just to a diary at first - it all counts. you’re making so much more progress than you can see, i promise. not every day has to be a good one, but simply surviving and keeping in contact with those you love and care for is going to do wonders for your future self, seriously. i’m so sorry the world has been so cruel to you and i really hope you know that you’re supposed to be here and you’re supposed to be loved. if you can’t believe that right now, it’s not because it’s not true, it’s cause you’re hurting too much to see it. if you need a friend or if you want to discuss this more openly, i’ll be here. i’m sending you so much love and strength. take care.