#maybe every man is bisexual has anyone ever thought of that

[vivitalks]

every man in magnus chase is bisexual

[lonelychicago]

no but i can't stop about eddie finding queering the map and being overwhelmed by the amount of stories that resonate with him.

it starts with buck, because of course it does.

buck comes into the station one day, rambling about this site he found online. he's still figuring out bisexuality for himself and has been going down a rabbit hole ever since, reading endless articles and reddit stories and experiences told from so many people.

and something about it, about this particular site, catches eddie's attention. he really can't stop thinking about it, wondering if people from el paso would have any of those pins. if anyone from the place he grew up in, was raised in, ever felt like him.

he can't stop wondering if maybe he was never as alone as he thought he was.

when he gets home, he decides to look for himself— it takes him a while. there's too many black pins and he doesn't quite know how to navigate the huge map on his screen. it takes him a few minutes to get the hang of it.

but when he does— oh, when he does.

right there in el paso, people from the same streets he once rode his bike in, are sharing his experiences. fellow soldiers in the same base eddie trained at.

eddie reads these sacred, secret little messages and feels his heart expand more and more with every each one of them.

some of them makes him laugh and chuckle, teary eyed but amused, like "even the army has gays," and "from one gay cowboy to another."

others, nake him falter. make his bretah hitch inside his chest. make something beautiful and fragile and orecious uncurl from the deepest depths of his soul. make him feel seen in a way he isn't sure he's quite ready to.

messages like— "you're not the only one," and "you'll be okay." "the heaven the people from this town speak of, is not a heaven i wanna be sent to." "i should've told him when i had the chance." "stuck in a warzone, thinking about how i wasted so much time and now i might not make it home to him."

messages that hit a little too close to home. from soldiers still in the closet, struggling to accept themselves and living a lie.

messages from dumb teenagers, scared of the future— just like eddie had been once.

messages from people braver than he ever could be, sharing the stories of how they came out to their families and moved across the country to be able to live their truest selves.

eddie spends hours and hours just reading post after post, goingbthrough as many lins as he can and drinking them in as a dying, thirsting man in the middle of the driest desert. he reads until the light from the comouter makes his head hurt and his eyes burn everytime he blinks.

at the end, before closing the tab, he decides to put on his own note.

📍not sure if I'll ever be ready to say it out loud, but I love him. i'm too late. I've lost my chance. this changes nothing, my heart is still in his hands.

he clicks on add and feels the tiniest amount of weight lifting from his shoulders.

[capseycartwright]

can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la

Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right? - or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.

written for week one of @summerofbuddie- mixed media. the mixed media part of this fic is eddie's big gay playlist, and is full of what i believe to be all of eddie's favourite queer music. pls enjoy.

ao3 link

Buck had always thought that Eddie was beautiful. He knew how that sounded – but even when he had thought he was straight, Buck had always felt quite comfortable in his masculinity. Men were beautiful. Okay, sure, with the benefit of hindsight, it was long-buried bisexuality threatening to burst to the surface, but the point stood: Eddie Diaz had always been beautiful to Buck. 

Physically, yes, he was beautiful. He had these big brown eyes that had always been incredibly effective at getting Buck to do all the things Eddie didn’t want to do –  small things, like driving (of course, because Eddie was a passenger princess at heart, and Buck was more than happy to indulge), and cooking, until Eddie had begun to find a love for that himself, and the bigger things too, like agreeing to be Eddie’s medical proxy, and being Christopher’s guardian in case – well, Buck didn’t like to articulate the rest of that one. It felt like jinxing it, so he always left it at ‘in case’ – nothing else needed to be said.

Eddie was physically beautiful – he had the softest brown hair Buck had ever come across, and a sweet grin that got him more than his fair share of attention on calls, and firefighting had packed on a lot of muscle over the years, so maybe he wasn’t the proud owner of an eight-pack, anymore, but Eddie’s body was strong, and capable, and Buck felt that was beautiful too. 

Eddie was gorgeous, was the thing – but he wasn’t just physically beautiful. Eddie Diaz had a really beautiful personality, too. It had taken a while for him to allow Buck to get to know it – and not just Buck, for everyone else, too – but when Eddie had decided to let people in, and see who he truly was, underneath the somewhat gruff exterior, there has been so much beauty there. Eddie was kind, kind in a way that Buck could only admire, genuine in his kindness. Buck could see where Christopher got it from.

Eddie was gentle, too. Buck knew most people would doubt that, given the life Eddie led – an army veteran with a penchant for street fighting and Muay Thai – but Buck knew better. Those were all circumstances, responses to a life filled with trauma, and underneath all of that, Eddie was the gentlest person he knew. Eddie would always be the one who carefully picked up spiders, and bees, if they found their way into the firehouse, or Buck’s apartment, or his own home, and he’d coo gently as he brought them to the window, setting them free before anyone (Buck, usually) could hit them with a stray hardback novel. Eddie liked to garden, a collection of brightly coloured flowers growing in the front bed right outside his porch, Eddie humming to himself as he watered them, the image one Buck hoped would be seared into his memory forever.

Eddie was gentle with Christopher. Buck hadn’t exactly grown up with a father he aspired to be like – Philip had been cold, and distant, and though Buck understood why now, he would never forgive it. Eddie had been through his fair share of heartbreak, and trauma, and yet he still raised Christopher with a gentle hand, guiding his son through life in a way Buck had never experienced himself. He was glad to be able to watch it, though, watch as Eddie learned from his own mistakes, and apologised to Chris, and did better for his son every day. 

Eddie was gentle with Buck.

Buck was a lot, he knew – he was loud, and talkative, and the undiagnosed ADHD he definitely had made it so both of those qualities were amplified when he was stressed, or anxious, which was frankly, a lot of the time. Buck knew he earned his eyerolls and exasperated looks – but never from Eddie. Eddie always listened, attentive and eager to learn as Buck went off on tangent about the latest fun thing he learned. Eddie was the first to suggest a gym session, when he knew Buck was antsier than normal, suggesting they work off some of his nervous energy before their next call.

Eddie had been there after the truck bombing, gentle as he had torn down Buck’s already shaky walls, gentle as he helped Buck in, and out of bed, gentle as he’d helped him shower, shrugging off Buck’s thanks with a ‘you’d do the same for me’ and a smile. 

(Buck would do the same for Eddie – he would do anything for Eddie.)

Eddie was beautiful. Eddie was beautiful when he smiled, when he laughed, Eddie was beautiful in every single conceivable way to Buck –

But this might be the most beautiful Buck had ever seen his best friend.

read the rest on ao3

[clownery-and-fuckery]

It's pride month so.... have my gay Bad Batch thoughts I suppose (based on vibes and vibes alone.)

Hunter:

Popular opinion that I agree with? Dude is FTM trans, and has the worst time with it bcus all his T-Shots were externally bought so the Empire cut his ass OFF. also. hes a little gay. A mini bisexual, if you would. prefers women by a long shot. (He/him all the way- he wont correct, but Wrecker will.)

Crosshair:

gay. gay. dude is a MAN kisser. hes scared of women. never seen a boob in his life and he intends to stay that way. he's The Homo of the group. yes, they do make fun of him for being a boy kisser. yes, they also make fun of him for pulling NO BITCHES EVER. (He/him too and he CARES. he will correct you meanly.)

Wrecker:

pansexual icon who will love anyone. He's also pulled more than Hunter, so, take THAT. He's a hopeless romantic who falls in love with at least ONE natborn per mission. He confesses this each and every time and has maybe kissed two people. He's always encouraged. (He/him mostly but he won't mind he/they, he'll just gently correct sometimes)

Tech:

oh. He's a true bisexual. A real man and woman kisser. Perchance at once if he's drunk enough. Phee and him look at hot people and go "Oh, wow, woa". He's the bi-wife. However, his acknowledgement of attraction only works for him. He'll acknowledge you're attractive, but good look with convincing him YOU find him attractive. As far as he knows, no one looks twice at him. (Also, his gender isn't real. Sometimes he's a man, sometimes she's a woman. Sometimes they're neither. It's easier to just say that Tech is Tech. Because how come Tech gets boobs AND a dick? Unfair. They/he/her)

Echo:

originally it was assumed that he was the token straight. Until they discovered actually there's no romantic attraction there at all so, Echo's our resident aro. He's dabbled in 18+ acts of course, but the attraction never went beyond that, so he vibes. He's down for platonic and brotherly affections, but don't you dare make a romantic gesture, gross. (He/him but... he did enjoy when people thought he a she when he was undercover once, so she?)

Bonus!!!!

Rex:

We found our token straight, lads. He's never seen a boob either, though. He'll get there, eventually. Very dense, very silly. He's too tired and busy for such things. (He/him only because he doesn't know of any other option)

Cody:

Now. I know what you're gonna think. Gay. But might I throw out a suggestion? Dude is just a mean bisexual. Heavy preference for men, but he CAN pick up a woman or two. (He/him, regs are borning/j)

Wolffe:

This guy. This guy gets uncomfortable when anyone who isn't his brothers holds his hand. THIS MAN is the true aroace of the GAR. he watches his brothers and he shudders. (though he Wonders. sometimes) he'll huff and puff his way through a romcom for the Wolfpack on movie night, I guess. (He/they only because he likes being an extension of the Wolfpack)

Gregor:

Pan-romantic asexual. Dude is down to date anyone, but the armour Stays On. He finds himself much more fulfilled with simple park dates and cooking at 2am, you know?? (ALSO they/he as per his identity crisis. He's a CLONE??? HUH???? wild)

Bly:

Another "token straight" but he'll never escape the bisexual allegations 😔 (because its true and him and his wife have so had a third party member before) but he's also rather curious. So. Bi-curious. (He/him)

Fox:

Oh lord. This man. Gay. He's gay but no one knows because he passes well. Also, ace. He's done his fair share of people, he doesn't understand the appeal. Down to make out messy in a closet though, he understands THAT. but nothing more. (He/him called "it" by the Senate and he doesn't care. But his brothers do.)

That's all you get. Happy gay month. If I missed someone you can ask and I'll give you their Vibes. ✨️

[happypotato48]

Century of Love EP 5-6 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

Get your tin foil hats and clown makeups ready besties, cause this circus is about to get messy. hold on to your butts and let's gooooo!

Least surprising "reveal" in history of TV. everybody saw this coming and thank god the show didn't make a big deal out of it.

Oh hi ironfist you better serve some cunty action tonight.

Ok now this is what i wanted thank you mr. stunt man. sorry daou you're good but not this good.

*No dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts*

this bitch been reward with a caring man after a misdemeanor attempted. Nu Wu really says be gay do crime huh.

I'm not going gaga over this man cause i'm a new blood bl watcher so this is my first time with this actor but dang, this man in doctor coat is doing it for me.

San you nerd you need to move on from this one moment in your live already, not adding shits to it.

We stan this unbothered king. i'm a sucker for jealousy because i'm trash like that. but seriously i loved that the show made Wee reacted to all of it with 'meh'.

Hey, stalking is one from of family bonding.

The title of the book is ฟ้าลิขิต Fahlikit (Fah = heaven, likit = script) so yeah it's means fate/destiny but written by heaven is thematically more fitting.

Yeah someone with no memory of and lives different than whose ever soul they inherited is by every mean a different person.

I'm trash so this is doing so much to me idc how nonvalid or toxic this stance is. i'm all for it.

A bit on the nose but fuck it this is a BL, who careeee!

And now to EP 6.

เล่นหูเล่นตาไม่ดูอายุตั���เองเลยนะอากง.

Homophobic grandpapa has evolved into พระเอก BL grandpapa. good for him.

Don't worry gramp. kids these days are kinda into that.

As a person whose rode his first rollercoaster two months ago and felt almost nothing. i can say that i'm a certified badass or idk maybe i'm dead inside :P

Look i know a lot of people don't like love triangle but as resident garbage gobbler. having two men fighting over me is my ultimate fantasy.

This man really go from ew no homo to give me that booty in 5 seconds huh. i liked it, he's too old to be muddling for too long.

Big applause to the costume department. cause whose ever put daou in that deserve a raise.

งานเต้นรำในคืนพระจันทร์เต็มดวง! this show really coming for my gay heart.

Someone call the ambulance this scene gonna give me a หัวใจ Y. OMG this short and the side and full boobies are everything! i can't.

It's the noses thing, i love the noses thing!

Go make some new memories and stop try to relive your old life old man.

Welcome to this century mr. late boomer bisexual.

One thoery down, i don't think grandma here is Wad reincarnated.

Her smile is kinda creepy anyone noticed that or it is just me :P anyways DRAMA!!!

This BL lakorn contuning to be excellence and i'm all in team Wee is not Wad gang. cause thematically feels more satisfied to me but in the end idc who is who. i just want to see the drama and angst unfold in the most spectacular and i have faith that this show will delivered.

[swiftfootedachilles]

honestly i was so mad when i watched that orgy scene in s11 and at the whole monogamy situation bc wdym they're not already monogamous without having to talk about it? as if they're not borderline obsessed with each other and also jealous asf and they constantly was being pulled apart from each other through the whole show, how can ian or mickey want somebody else after all shit they went through? i just hope that they didn't actually fuck anyone and just banged in the bathroom or smth😭also when i see fics with gallavich/omc? 💀 saw this from a popular writer and i was like hell nah im not reading ts

no for fucking real those 2 are the most jealous men to ever walk the planet

on one hand i get it. they both had insecurities that made them feel like the other wouldnt want to only sleep with them for the rest of their lives. ian is the only guy mickey canonically dates and has sex with multiple times. mickey felt like ian would eventually leave him like he had in the past also multiple times.

so in the first episode the monagamy conversation seemed normal to me. they literally both specifically say "i dont want you to fuck anyone else" and mickey was obviously just waiting to see ians answer because he wanted to do whatever ian wanted. if he did write down "open relationship," it wouldve been because he thought thats what ian wanted. personally i think he didnt write anything down because he was still trying to grasp the concept of him and ian being a "normal" married couple that communicated heathily and didnt run away and flirt with/fuck other people when they got scared.... plus he actually cant spell monogamy hes a dyslexic with an 8th grade education

so that episode was fine on its own. if they wouldve left it at that, it wouldve been a silly cute moment in their bumpy marriage. but then the writers had to make that stupid ass orgy episode. first of all why the shit would they NEED to be friends with other gay men, and WHY ARE THE ONLY OPTIONS TO EITHER BE THEIR FRIENDS OR FUCK THEM??? IT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE. DID THEY NOT JUST DECIDE IN EPISODE ONE THAT THEY WERE GONNA BE MONOGAMOUS?

i actually cannot stand how the writers (and the fandom by extension) cant let gay characters have their boundaries and be left alone. why the fuck do they have to be open to straight sex and orgies and nonmonogamy and being verse WHY CANT GAY PEOPLE HAVE BOUNDARIES. CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THERE WAS RANDOMLY A SCENE IN SEASON 11 WHERE TAMI ASKED LIP 'HOW DO YOU KNOW YOURE STRAIGHT IF YOUVE NEVER GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS BY A GUY?' AND THEN HE ACTUALLY WENT OUT AND DID IT??? YOU CANT IMAGINE IT BECAUSE IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN THEY ONLY DO THIS SHIT WITH GAY CHARACTERS!!!!

the inability to understand that gay people can also have preferences and hard limits actually blows my mind. and if you dont like it youre somehow a prude or dont understand the characters. actually i fear i understand the characters more than the writers do.

and im okay with showing characters experiment! but its very telling that in Shameless, it only happens with queer characters who are pretty fucking firm in their sexual identity and boundaries. why did debbie have to fuck a gay guy in season 11. why do ian and mickey have to be verse why do ian and mickey have to be polyamorous. why did ian have to fuck a woman to "truly know" hes gay. why did svetlana have to all but announce shes a lesbian but still date kev instead of just date vee. why does this only happen to gay characters!!!

the trope of queer men specifically being easy and dtf is why the AIDS crisis was so deadly. because queer men are so open to sharing sex fantasies and sharing partners and sharing needles, right? its just a gay problem, and its better for all of us if theyre dead anyway, so lets ignore it until it goes away

maybe not every queer man needs to be written as a polyamorous verse switch bisexual-under-the-right-circumstances only-married-for-tax-reasons-not-because-they-love-their-life-partner idk! this is a haters only area so if you dont like me hating why are you here⁉️

[scahrred]

SIRIUS BLACK. the silence before a dog snaps and bites ; half-buttoned shirts and rolled up sleeves and messy hair— somehow he still manages to look put together ; eyes bright like a battlefield, gaze strong enough to bring a rush of adrenaline to anyone who looks ; the soft strum of a guitar played quietly in the middle of the night ; a haunted house with him as the ghost.

NAME | sirius orion black. NICKNAMES | siri, padfoot. AGE | twenty-three. GENDER | cis man. DATE OF BIRTH | november 3rd. ZODIAC | scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, virgo rising. SEXUAL ORIENTATION | bisexual. OCCUPATION | auror on probation. ALIGNED WITH | the order of the phoenix. WAND | acacia wood, phoenix feather core, 13 inches. also, from the wiki : "according to booth workers at the wizarding world of harry potter, the wand has a defence mechanism: one of the edges is marked differently than the others, and unless the user's thumb is placed on the edge then the wand will backfire." the wiki says this likely isn't canon but my cousin works at universal so clearly i'm at the authority to say it's actually 100% canon. CURRENT RESIDENCE | drifts between his own flat & the potters' home. FAMILY | orion black ( father ), walburga black ( mother ), regulus black ( brother ), kreacher ( greatest annoyance and biggest opp ) PATRONUS | non-corporeal but i took a quiz for him and it said wildcat so like. i guess !

there was always something wrong with sirius. of course, his family won't say as much : likely, they'll say he was corrupted at hogwarts. but it was more than that. nights spent trying to make sense of his family's teachings, of why it was so wrong to be a halfblood or a squib so long as you had an ancient house's name. that was how it began, at least. going to hogwarts was the catalyst ; whatever belief he might have had in his family's values was shattered when he met muggleborns, halfbloods, saw purebloods teetering and failing. immersed himself in muggle culture and found he liked it. the motorcycles and the music and how could anything that brought so much joy be wrong ?

but we're getting ahead of ourselves. first, hogwarts : a sorting gone wrong. if he'd ever had any question of his belonging, it was settled when the hat barely lasted a second on his head before shouting out GRYFFINDOR. his first thought, a dawning horror in the midst of celebration : what is regulus going to think ?

that's how it begins, the black sheep of the black family. he comes home for winter break and drapes his room in gryffindor colors. he buys muggle magazines ( usually tabloids ) off his muggleborn friends and leaves them in every corner of grimmauld place just to see his family scowl. most important of all, he meets the marauders. james, remus, peter. the four of them attached at the hip, a family outside of his own.

maybe he shouldn't have antagonized his family. maybe he shouldn't have pushed his parents further and further away. maybe he should have tried to ease them into breaking free of their beliefs. his life is an endless stream of maybe, maybe, maybe.

the tension bubbles until it bursts. he leaves the only home he's ever known for the potters' house, where he hides out for a bit. they're wonderful, almost like parents to him, but living with the potters just reminds him of what he doesn't have.

so, he leaves. gets himself a horrible flat with some of what uncle alphard left him. now, he's on his own for the first time in his life, stuck trying to find himself and build his identity outside of the black family heir, outside of the marauders, outside of the poor boy euphegenia and fleamont took in.

he works as an auror to keep himself busy, mostly. he could live off of alphard's fortune, but then he'd be bored all day. or worse, his mind would wander, and then he'd have to be reminded that he left regulus.

but it's fine ! everything's fine ! he's read books and watched muggle movies and knows his history. so what if a war is brewing ? so what if his brother insists on following in their family's mistakes ? everything will be fine. good always wins. right ?

[forthelorewick]

Blessed with Beauty and Rage

Chapter 1: “My sorrow— I could not awaken”

“Alone” by Edgar Allan Poe

Series summary:

The very core of who you are is hypocritical. Every day is a reminder of what you've lost, of who you've allowed yourself to become. Your walls are built around your heart like the fortress of Jackson, until… a certain man tries to pry his way through. How long can you withstand such intrusion? Will your heart ever open, will your soul ever heal, the way you have helped so many others do? Will you ever learn that you're worth saving too?

| Master list | next chapter >

Chapter content: angst, some cursing, reader is a bisexual and an unavailable mess.

WC: 3.5k

Mainly character introductions and some background information, the first few chapters will be a bit slower.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

December 2023:

It had been a while since you'd had new people in Jackson, the winter months approaching usually preventing people from venturing out and even keeping infected at bay.

But alas, the commotion was stirring around the town as the big gates opened to reveal two newcomers. An older man, around fifty to fifty five, and a girl who couldn't be any older than sixteen. They didn't have much similarity in their appearances so they must not be related, not uncommon that odd duos had become reliant on each other. Still, the mystery shrouded these two. An odd gruffness to the man, his eyes frantically searching the crowds, keeping her as close to him as possible.

Until— you see his eyes flash with disbelief, they widen and you swear you see a glimmer in them— a glimmer of hope and relief. The town turns to see who had caught his eye in such a way, and you see Tommy pick up speed and the two men meeting in a tight embrace.

You know who this man is, never thought you'd ever see him and maybe in your mind he had been long gone since that's how this world works. Families don't usually get reunited.

Tears threaten to fall from the older man’s eyes, but they don't. It seems as if a weight has been lifted off of the younger man (but not by much)’s shoulders. Yet, the older still seemed so heavily weighed down. As if the weight had been shifted onto him from his brother’s shoulders.

You didn't need to know them personally to know they were brothers, their features were similar, their hair a similar color and texture. Although, the older brother was greying and the younger was not. You know there's a five year age difference, and although it is not as if the years have been bad to the older man, you could tell it's just heavy on him. The same way it felt heavy to you.

His broad, firm stature quickly resumed its stiffness as Tommy led him and the girl towards the mess hall.

Tommy turns to find you in the crowd and shoots you a smile and brief wave, his eyes lit up and his steps light as they enter the mess hall.

You nod in acknowledgement, returning a half smile, promptly finding your way out of the crowd that had gathered.

The whole town resumed its prior activities, murmuring gossip of the man and girl, regarding what it takes to have lived outside of those walls and the odd timing of their arrival.

Anyone who knew Tommy knew of his brother whom he hadn't seen in nearly a decade. Since he's known you, since around when Jackson was founded.

A familiar voice calls your name and you turn to greet her.

“Hey,” you greet, seeing the way her eyes are lit up and she seems giddy on her feet. “The hell’s gotten into you?”

“Just put aside your grumpiness for like two seconds okay?” She reaches for your arm and squeezes it tightly, unable to control her excitement.

You allow her this physical touch but she quickly releases your arm and shrugs her shoulders offering an unconvincing apology. You grumble, encouraging her to get it out already.

“Robert finally asked me to the dance!”

“About damn time,” which has a dual meaning to you, but is met with an ecstatic response.

“I know, right!” She stills for a moment, finally to look at you. “Are you still not going?”

“Setyr, you know I don't-”

“Yeah, yeah I know, not even Maria can convince you?”

You take a deep breath in and hold it for a moment, glancing up at the clear, blue sky.

“It's on the 26th,” you don't feel the need to further explain, you hope your friend already knows as much as she needs to.

Her eyes cloud in realization. “Right, well, maybe after I can come by and we can listen to some music and we can finally try the wine we just harvested from the vineyard.”

You slowly nod and force a smile. “That would be nice, but you know-”

“Yes I know you don't drink either, remind me again what you do for fun?” She chuckles and gently pats you on the shoulder causing you to tense up once again.

“I do plenty- I- plus, I-” you can't seem to find the words to say, you don't do much besides work. But you enjoy work.

Before you can even think further on how to finish your thought, you are interrupted by yet another woman calling your name and Setyr’s as she approaches.

“Hey, Kris,” her eyes meet yours and you are just mesmerized for a moment, it's a common occurrence when it comes to her. Her natural beauty and grace paired with her dirty knees from where she knelt in the greenhouse and tended to the plants, crops, and flowers— she was as close to a goddess as it came these days.

Her smile is so sweet as her features are highlighted by the sun which was starting its descent in the sky. Her skin is golden and sun-kissed, her hands calloused, yet soft everywhere but her palms.

“Hey, you.” Her lips are soft, always so soft.

You swallow thickly and glance around as people hurry to and from wherever they're going.

“Hellooooo,” you hear fingers snap and you're forced back to focus on whatever Setyr is saying.

You clear your throat to let her know you're present and actively listening.

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

You sigh deeply, “You want to host another game night, is that right?”

She smirks at you and nods. “Are you at least coming to that?”

“How could I ever pass up poker or Texas Hold ‘em, any chance at kicking your asses, really” the toothy grin you offer is cocky and sarcastic all at once.

“More like kissing asses,” Setyr teases, you know it’s directed towards you and Kris. You groan quietly and turn to see Kris’s cheeks slowly reddening, your thin-lipped smile widens. Until you see her eyes down-cast, your smile fades into your permanent furrowed brows.

Setyr looks between you two and rolls her eyes, “C’mon now, y'all have got to be the most frustrating people in the world.”

You shrug your shoulders, “Can we not-”

“Never do,” Kris murmurs beside you and you curse yourself under your breath.

“I'm gonna leave you two…”

“Wait, no please— Set!” You call after her as she leaves you two alone.

You slowly turn to Kris and she seems so much smaller than she had when she had approached. “Hi,” she smiles weakly, her arms held tight around her.

“Hi. Listen, I'm sorry—”

“Save it, I know. I'm sorry, I'm the one who kissed you and- and I know how you are. I was stupid to think I'd be the one to change that.”

You just look at her, that's all you can do. This angel, this goddess who you just can't figure out why the hell your heart is so hardened, so unavailable. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt her, but as much as you wish you could feel, you just don't. For anyone. And you hate it.

You hate yourself for being so far away all the time, so lost in the clouds, so enshrined by the grief and the horrors that surround your mind. Your work as a shrink is the only time people see you as any semblance of open and welcoming because it's professional, it's you getting into their minds, not your own. Making them feel comfortable and understood. It's easy– to listen and observe.

To have true friendships and relationships, however, it requires a two way street which you can't quite offer- it still befuddles you that somehow you had people who you could tolerate and were considered friends. Friendships by proxy mostly, but friendships nonetheless. Friendships you had made through your other disconcertingly close friendships with people who at this point were considered family. Blood or not, it didn’t matter, they cared for you regardless of your harshness when they tried to get too close. They knew things about you regardless of you wanting them to or not.

You shouldn't have even let Kris close enough to kiss you, and you knew you were fucking up when you kissed her back.

“It's not-” it's not you, it's never you, Kris. You're wonderful and sweet and charming— all I wish is that I could find a way to let someone in, to be seen, to be known, to share. But I don't know how and I don't know if I ever could. Everyone that has ever known that side of me— has known me- is dead. And I fear those pieces of me died with them.

You can never voice these things, you would just end up staring open-mouthed, expecting anything to come out, but it can't. You are incapable of human connection past anything platonic and even then you fucking struggled.

“I don't deserve you,” you hear your own voice say, and it nearly shocks you.

She looks at you and a solemn smile adorns those soft lips.

“I think you deserve more than you know.” And with that she’s gone, walking back down towards the mess hall for dinner.

You walk the opposite way back to your house, slamming the door and slinking to the floor against it. What the fuck is wrong with you.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

Next day

As with all things, you have filed such an encounter under further reasons to avoid any and all potentially complicated circumstances affiliated with others’ feelings in regards to you personally.

You understood perfectly fine. You can never blame others for the way you make them feel, but you were unable to put your own preaching into practice. Always know, yet unable to do. It was as if you had been cursed with knowledge and understanding only to ever experience what you knew and understood from an observational perspective.

You weren’t surprised when Kris scheduled an appointment with you the day before game night. Your friends were beginning to figure you out bit by bit. It’s surprisingly effective, you’ve found, to communicate when they let you do it as a shrink, not just as you. In the professional space, there’s room for the words to come—unfiltered, clear, and detached from the weight of personal expectations. It’s easier when you're wearing the mantle of authority, of expertise. You don’t have to wrestle with the discomfort of being vulnerable; you can hide behind the training, the methods, the framework. In the office, it’s all just technique—but to them, it feels like you’re being real. And maybe you are. Just in a way that’s easier to digest.

They were merely words to you. Words which serve a purpose, a means to an end. They were people pleasing words.

“Hey, Kris, what can I do for you today?” You motion for her to sit in the designated chair for these sessions.

“Just wanted to talk,” she sits down and crosses her legs, her jeans covered in dirt at the knees, as always.

“That’s typically what coming to a shrink is about. What is it you’d like to talk about?”

She rolls her eyes at you, knowing you knew what she was there for.

“I know you don’t like when your friends take advantage of your work time to talk about personal things regarding well, you…” she clears her throat before continuing, “but I didn’t want to go to the game night with things awkward between us.”

You nod your head slowly as you acknowledge her purpose for being here. “No, I typically don’t-“

She interrupts you, knowing you’ll just shoot off some shrink jargon. “Just let me—”

You clear your throat and gesture your hand for her to continue.

“I know you’re not into me the same way I’m into you and I can live with that fact. But I don’t want our friendship to end because I fucked it up-”

“Kris, please it’s oka-”

“No just please, you don’t need to say anything yet. I want you to know how important your friendship is to me and how I understand you more than you think I do,” she’s leaning forward in the chair as she talks to you.

Your jaw is tense and your leg is bouncing as you anxiously sit and listen. You don’t like the idea of anyone knowing you, but you realize it’s inevitable when you have friends and those you spend time with even if minimally. Still doesn’t mean you’re comfortable with that idea.

“I’m going to move on from this little crush I have on you since I know it will never be returned, unless there is any chance-”

You don’t need to say anything, the gentle shake of your head was returned with a deep sigh. “Then friends?”

“Friends.”

“Don’t get awkward around me now, okay?”

You grin and chuckle gently, “No more than I already am.”

She seems content with that answer and curtly nods her head as she stands up from the chair.

“Thank you for your time, I’ll see you tomorrow at Setyr’s,” she turns to walk out the door.

“See you,” is all you say as she exits your office.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

Game night

“She’s here!” You hear footsteps approaching from the other side of the door before it’s opened to reveal a small group of women. You had been the last to arrive, but you brought treats. Cookies and a pie for the occasion, it was soon to be Christmas, after all. You had even baked some fresh potato chips, fresh and crispy from the oven. A favorite amongst your circle, shrink’s homemade snacks.

“Shrink!” Maria was the first to nickname you as such.

“Am I the last one here?” You step into the warm home and shake off the chill of the evening.

“Pretty much, but then again no one else took the time to actually bring baked goods since Set made dinner, you are always so thoughtful!”

You blush at this. The way you show your appreciation and love for those around you is through acts of service. For what you couldn’t say or express verbally or emotionally- you did. Showing up, baking, listening, crafting, fixing, building— whatever your people needed, you were there. You were useful and you had skills that could help… so you did.

“Well, can’t have game night without snacks, can we?”

She grins widely at your nonchalance to your thoughtfulness. Thing is, you couldn’t stop thinking so this was a great way to focus it for a little while in anticipation of this social gathering even if it was a small group of people you knew.

It truly was friendship by proxy. They became close to Maria, who dragged you around everywhere, so they soon became attached to you too. You didn’t necessarily mind, you just weren’t privy to enjoying any form of social gathering. Although, you sucked it up since you really do enjoy game nights. Can’t play board games or card games on your own, at least not most of them anyway. Strategy, wit, and sarcasm were the key components to any good game night.

As everyone gets settled around the card table, Setyr brings around drinks for everyone and for you— freshly pressed grape juice. You can’t help but feel warmth bloom inside you due to her thoughtfulness.

The card table was a beautiful piece of artwork. Handmade by Setyr’s boyfriend, Robert, before they had even begun dating.

After she gives everyone their drink, she sits down in her designated seat at the head of the table.

Around you, the chatter was light and easy, as it always was when the group gathered. It was the same crew—Maria, Kris, Setyr, Olivia, Jenna, Maya, and a couple of others—familiar faces that made these nights feel like a comfortable tradition despite your initial hesitancy to be around people at all . No need for introductions or explanations; everyone knew the rules, the stakes, and most importantly, the game itself. You had done multiple game nights prior, and it was relatively the same group of people each time.

As you get settled into the game, as unsuspecting as ever, your competitive spirit takes over. As per usual, your silent yet deadly strategies begin to take effect. So quiet and unassuming until you’ve quietly won enough hands that Maria quirks her eyebrows at you and Setyr rolls her eyes once again.

You can’t help but grin, you love these nights. Everyone drinking and chatting allows you to sink into your comfortable headspace, focusing only on the game and the tells of those around you.

The air is light and the stakes are high- to the extent of your friends threatening to make you take a day off of work if they win.

Maria tosses her chips in the air, challenging you. "If I win, you’re taking a day off. No repairs, no running errands—just rest. And I mean it. No exceptions." She glances at you, her eyes narrowed, a devilish grin on her lips as she dares you to challenge her hand which she’s gone all in on.

Setyr takes a sip of her drink, her fingers tapping the table in her usual rhythm, pretending to be deep in thought. She’s not fooling anyone, though.

You know all of your friends’ tells. You see the way their eyes shift to the others as they try to assess whether they should be confident in their hand, or the way they blink in thought as they decide their next move. The way Setyr avoids eye contact when she plans to bluff, raising the betting pool. You’re playing a different game—reading them, their moves, their intentions. It’s a language you speak fluently.

Blackjack, poker, Texas hold ‘em… you play them all. A deck of cards is so versatile.

You flick a glance at the cards in your hand, feeling the familiar satisfaction of being in control. You are in your element and your initial hand is going to prove useful. You just lean back, arms crossed, your gaze moving between the others.

Setyr raises an eyebrow. Kris scoffs, clearly trying to figure you out. She throws a few more chips towards the middle of the table, raising the bet. A typical move for her, hoping to get under your skin.

She thinks she’s got you for a moment, but after a few more plays from the others, it’s your turn again. You don’t even flinch. Your hand moves, swift and silent, matching the bet.

“Cute,” you say dryly. “But predictable.”

Maria, frustrated by her earlier setback from when you had bluffed and she had fallen into it, eyes you warily but doesn’t know whether to make a move against you or hold her ground. Setyr’s fingers tap the edge of her glass, her usual sign that she's formulating something, while Kris grins, clearly trying to throw off someone—likely you, if you had to guess.

Setyr finally speaks up, breaking the tension. “Is it just me, or does Shrink always have something up her sleeve?”

You glance at her, offering a brief, sardonic smile.

You place your hand down to display the full house hand you had. The others groan in unison, as if they all knew it was coming but didn’t want to admit it.

Kris laughs, shaking her head. “You’re an absolute menace, Shrink.

You shrug, an almost imperceptible smirk on your face. God you were glad things were mostly back to normal between the two of you.

The group of you play a few games while everyone is gradually getting more and more tipsy as the night goes on. You watch and observe contentedly. No one pressures you to talk more than your sardonic remarks while gaming. You don’t win every game, you can’t always get a good hand, but you are a hell of a people reader. This is the only type of social gathering in which it truly comes in handy without feeling like such a burden or imposition.

The night winds down, the chatter softening as people gather their things and prepare to leave. You stand quietly by the door, watching the others.

The others are busy gathering their bags and coats, the mood light but winding down.

Setyr catches your eye, a small, knowing smile tugging at her lips. "You turning in for the night?" she asks, her voice casual, though she’s more than aware that you’ve already slipped away from the conversation.

You nod, a simple gesture. It doesn’t need to be anything more than that. You don’t need to explain.

With a final glance around the room, you slip out, the door clicking softly behind you. The sound of their laughter lingers for a moment, and then the night is still again—just the way you like it.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

[wystericwoes]

Jjk headcanons but I’m right.

Ft. Inumaki, Gojo, and Itadori.

Most SFW I’ll mark NSFW with ⭐️

Asstoru:

-Something that’s obvious is that he’s the biggest tease EVA.

Little quips like “I don’t know do I?”

When you’re just trying to get his feelings about something. Loves to see you frustrated.

-Didn’t lose his V-card until College, and he was 100% not sober. He didn’t even really like who he was with they were just hot and he was tired of being the only virgin. it sounds like a surprise but he’s actually very picky with who he’s with. He may accept numbers and make out with random people at the club but he’s actually very selective with who he brings to bed. his body count isn’t in the hundreds like everyone thinks. (It’s definitely not low either though 😭)

-He would either settle down with someone that challenges him and is just as smart, hardheaded and driven. Or, a total bim/him/thembo. A pretty lil thing he can come home to.

-Love language is gifts and maybe touch.

He loves seeing you get all embarrassed over the bare minimum like flowers on your birthday or expensive chocolate. Nothing makes him happier than seeing a piece of glam they he got you strewn over your neck.

-he’s a raging bisexual but overcompensates for that gay part of him which “how much he likes women.” And made himself a womanizer to avoid dealing with those feelings

⭐️ He’s an annoyingly quick learner. This applies to everything- but especially sex. You can try and hide your reactions and pretend like he’s not doing a good job to try and win this little game you two play, but he’ll just (unfairly) dissect you with six eyes and use his powers to monitor your heartbeat, follow the muscle convulsions of your walls, listen to every little stifled breath and whimper. You can’t hide anything from him! You just masturbated? He knows. You just had a wet dream with him in it? He knows. You just zoned out for .02 seconds because his shirt fits him so well??? He fucking knows! It’s seriously annoying.

⭐️ He uses you as a power trip. Play fights where he pretends you’re winning, or hickeys that you think will last. But the second you look away he heals it and loves how flustered and upset you get. (He’s really just doing it so you’ll mark him up again) repeat ad infinitum until he’s done receiving them.

Inumaki Toe gay:

-His inability to speak was something that he had grown used to. Until he met you, and he found himself wanting desperately to talk to you like everyone else does.

Write. Him. Letters.

No one has ever made an effort to actually get close to him like you do. Sticky notes, texts, hand symbols, the works.

He’s been totally happy sitting idly as people spoke to him or around him, but you don’t settle for that. You insist that he deserves to be heard- and he falls in love almost immediately.

-Love with him is so fucking sweet and funny- it’s the shit you see in books and movies.

-he’s sassy. He’ll just start furrowing his brows you know under his mask he’s pouting because you didn’t want to hold his hand.

“Don’t do that.”

“Okaka.”

He just huffs and turns around.

Sassy man apocalypse survivor.

-He’s so funny and I will DIE on this hill. Sometimes he’s not even trying, he’s just that awesome.

He’ll slip you notes of cheesy pickup lines and flirting that makes you flustered.

-You two are the last to realize that you both like eachother, you both thought it was one sided- but literally anyone who looks at the way you two act with eachother knows.

-Leaves you trinkets/gifts that he thinks you would like.

-Love language is 100% touch

⭐️He whimpers. AHHHGHHG I’m literally going crazy thinking about this but it’s another hill I’ll fucking die on. He can’t tell you or affirm to you what he likes verbally but he is vocal- it’s almost pornographic the way he whines and grips onto the sheets.

⭐️A switch through and through, a bit more vanilla overall but will try anything you like. He probably wouldn’t use his cursed speech on you unless you practically begged him for it, and even then he makes you establish 10 layers of safety precautions. It has to be something you reallllyyy want, he wouldn’t suggest it. And he’d only do the commands you told him you want.

Boobji Itadori:

-Has never felt the touch of a woman in his life 😭

That’s not exactly a secret but yk.

-He says he has a type but he really doesn’t, he’s a total sweetheart. He may check women out with his “ideal type” but he would date anyone who asked him out and make you his world.

-He’s confident in school and friendships but he gets red and flustered easily if you make the first moves, He goes along with it and adapts well though.

-He’s just so fiery and passionate it’s hard to keep up with him sometimes, but his motivation to help others is one of his best qualities, everyone is equal in his eyes.

-He’s a struggling ally. And this applies to everything- not because he doesn’t want to be, but because he’s just stupid 💀.

He’s the type to look at two lesbians walking down the road and start blasting girl in red in solidarity and making a whole scene, or look at stretch marks and say “who did this to you 😡/why did you do this to yourself?🥺”

But he’s trying.

-love language is words of affirmation and acts of service.

Acts of service as in he would rip a tree out for you to prove that he could.

He’s an excellent communicator, Without even trying too, he just does somehow. He’s good at sympathizing with people and is very emotionally intelligent, especially considering all the shit he’s been through.

And don’t you dare try that “it’s nothing” or “I’m fine” shit because he WILL annoy you until you tell him.

-Overall, 10/10. He’s a little stupid but hey isn’t everyone?

@96jnie @noodlejutsu-blog

[farolitosp]

Some random headcanon of the Undead Unluck cast because I'm bored (spoilers from the manga until chapter 199).

- Fuuko definitely had a Twitter account dedicated to "To you, from me" manga and she held discussions. Probably was doing threads about her thoughts and was a heated defender lol. Maybe after meeting Andy she went on hiatus to keep her identity a secret.

- Victor spent his first billion years without oxygen, so he probably was like the current Andy chilling inside Earth's crust and magma.

- Juiz was definitely confused when the gender rule was added and the first loop with that rule she was a mess, probably pretended to be a man in the dark ages.

- Victor was also confused at the gender rule but he assumed his manliness more quickly than Juiz. I'm betting he was always a raging feminist because he admires Juiz that much.

- Rip is probably bi because why not.

- Shen is a full straight man, he just likes to dress like that.

- Anno doesn't have a defined gender because Akira is a man who didn't grow up with toxic masculinity (because of his ability), and the fact he loves shojo manga and drawing romance stories.

- With that said, Anno has bishounen face irl and that's why they don't want to show their face to anyone lol.

- Top definitely insulted argentinians in futbol matches.

- Loop 101 Top is definitely kinda afraid of japanese women now.

- After watching the anime and some scenes, Phil likes to hang out with Nico and probably see him like a cool grandpa.

- Tella is 100% gay, look at that man and tell me I'm wrong.

- Loop 100 Gina is bisexual, but loop 101 Gina is, without a doubt, a huge lesbian.

- Victor was happy as hell when the first animals appeared on the earth because he was so hungry in the lifeless earth. He knows dishes that nobody can ever try (maybe Juiz).

- Kinda sad but I think Victor and Juiz didn't have kids because they can't and are sterile somehow, not because they didn't want to.

- Fuuko was catching feelings with Memoirs Andy but she always knew he wasn't the real one, so it's like a forbidden love.

- Loop 101 Fuuko knows english better than japanese.

- Loop 101 Feng catches feelings towards Fuuko but because he is a shitty person he won't admit it ever.

- Andy tried every drug and substance since he can't get addicted or sick. Victor too.

- It is canon that Billy's ability with guns is just pure ability and not related to his negation, so that's definitely something he learned in the army for fun.

- It's funny to think that Andy/Victor, despite being numb to the pain, has a reflex when someone punches their crotch but they don't "feel" the pain anymore.

- Fuuko was chubby in the first part of the series.

[louisisalarrie]

Hi! I am bbg anon from yesterday (the fairly new one). I had read on one of the other blogs that ppl in the fandom are assuming that harry's next stunt might be with a man. It may be possible because he had been through a lot of queerbaiting allegations and HS4's response (any more might dampen his reputation) might have to do with how they want to navigate it further. I never thought that H and L would come out separately. But I had read that a lot of veteran larries thought they were seedings of a CO of H in 2015. Ending bbg is an indication of Louis being gay and Larry being real (indirectly within the fandom and outside as well if anyone has their suspicion). I think what they can do when bbg ends is to show that Harry and Louis aren't together anymore (that's the least they can do) because there's no way in hell bbg ending won't create a Larry buzz. And Harry has already been accused of queerbaiting. I think if Harry is to stunt with a man, it's a good time to end babygate. Because Harry is dating someone else now. In the present moment. And Louis had a kid for almost nine years. He must be het. And then Louis must dip for another year and come back with LT3. Maybe stunt with another woman while Harry is out with a man? I think showcasing that they have broken up is a good barter for ending babygate. It will also help Harry in his queerbaiting allegations? What do you think?Harries might be supportive if it's not Louis he's in a relationship with. Solo louies will also be sympathetic towards Louis and accept the fact that he had been cheated on with the fact that he's a father and that Louis isn't with Harry at least. Us, Larries, on the other hand will know as we always do 🤪

Hey anon! Lovely to hear from you.

Yep, I think you’re on the right track here. And again, I can’t shut my damn mouth/stop my damn brain ever so this is now an official welcome to the show!

In short, bbg was the perfect stunt so Harry could come out and Louis 100% couldn’t be tied to him, because he was a dad. It separated their relationship from the public and when you think about the time this was all happening and their team, this was the best way to solidify the end of larry, while allowing Harry to be free. How could Louis be gay if he has a kid and is fucking every little blonde thing at a club? He can’t possibly be gay, and could never possibly be with Harry, so that was the plan. It was pretty foolproof, to the public and antis at least, until it all fell apart.

Now, we’re looking at a switch in stunts. Harry comes out, and yes, if he has to stunt with a man, so be it. It’s no different than stunting with a woman, but it is an acknowledgment of his sexuality and that’s an important step forward. As I’ve said before, this is a shitty long process and it’s not gonna be easy, but if we survived bbg, we can survive anything.

So, Harry comes out with a boyfriend in the ramp up of HS4. Explains some of the love songs, right? Removes queerbaiting allegations, which you’re right, is now tarnishing his brand, and solidifies an undisclosed sexuality that’s certainly not straight. If he is seen as bisexual/not straight but still likes the gals, he still has huge market appeal and it’s not gonna lose the amount of followers he’d lose if he came out as gay. What is his sexuality? I couldn’t tell ya. But he’s not straight, that’s for sure.

Anyway, maybe this will be the best way to visualise it and theorise:

1. Louis finishes tour, has a couple of festivals, and stays far away from Harry before taking a break/writing. Opposite sides of the world.

2. Harry comes out with a boyfriend in some pap pics in the lead up to HS4, just holding hands or something. No snogging or anything, just small caresses that pick up the public’s interest. It can be a very lowkey coming out to begin with, and still while he’s flapping about kinda quietly like right now and not 100% in the public eye yet. Think of it as… a soft launch to test it with the fans.

3. After some more little soft launches of his new relationship (Insta story perhaps), Harry and boy start ramping up the PR by making more appearances and hanging out with some other super high profile celebs (this boy will not be high profile, and perhaps an influencer or something instead. They won’t be getting another proper fandom involved. That would be bad news bears).

4. Harry makes some “thank you for accepting me” style tweet, and posts an image that’s just plain colour or something, that will allude to HS4.

5. Harry drops HS4, and is active on social media more so than usual. Connecting with fans, listening parties, etc.

6. After the initial HS4 hype drops a bit, seeding starts that Louis and baby mama are having fights over F, and the timing is VERY important here between larry btw. But a possible good reason would be that now louis is done with tour, he wants to spend more time with F, B is like “nooooo u left him for so long you can’t have more custody than what you have rn” and then that ends up in court and paternity test etc. bc she’s being super shady. Also keeps his name relevant while being off tour.

7. Harry carries on with fan interaction and projects, some more pap walks with boy and perhaps something more intimate.

8. It’s further seeded by “insiders” and then confirmed by Louis’ team that he’s not the dad/he’s having personal issues right now/pls respect his privacy bc he going through some SHIT

9. H and boy are going well, he’s booked in a tour, and Louis disappears completely from public eye/social media.

10. Louis reappears months later, on the other side of the world to Harry bc he’s on tour, and says that he’s not the dad, he’s gonna still love F like he’s his own kid, and that he’s gonna just focus on writing and spend some time with his family.

Boom. 10 steps to happiness. Now, granted that the above all goes well, it seems like the perfect plan. It ends bbg, allows Harry to come out, makes the public sympathise with Louis and gives him the “good guy” award while also upholding his hettiness, and keeps larry rumours super far away.

After that happens (which could probaaaaaably take about… 6 months? If it’s done correctly? Lol) the next step is larry reconciliation, which would probably take another 4-6 months to get them fully comfy, and then it’s a decision on whether they get to come out before, during, or after a 1d reunion. Which is a whole other bucket of fish.

Alas, 10 steps, which if done right, minimise harm to both Harry and Louis immensely. This is a foolproof plan that yes, willl lose them some followers, but can be handled correctly by the right team.

So, fingers crossed that the game will begin soon!

[sirenascelestiales]

I watched SATC for the first time ever

I have THOUGHTS. No one needs to know my thoughts but I have written them out anyway. Overall, I'd say an 7/10 show.

Ok, so I've seen all 6 seasons now (none of the movies or the reboot/sequel series). I watched September through November 2024. I knew only a few things about the show:

Lauded as a great show about female friendship and every woman can/should be able to identify with one of the friends

No way can a columnist actually afford to live the way Carrie does, suspend your disbelief for that

One of the women goes through cancer and another or maybe the same one has a child after issues conceiving (IDK why this is what I knew but it was!)

SJP and KC hate each other bc of this show, after filming this show, since the beginning of this show or something, point is NOT besties IRL?

Ok general thoughts.

It aged both well and not very well. I like it overall, hence a positive 'rating' but there were scenes where I cringed and just stared and to like pause to think about what they just had said.

Seeing as it came out in 1998, I understand that it was rather revolutionary for them to talk so candidly about sex on a show (even an HBO one at that) for and about women. Kudos to Kim Cattrall for saying some of her lines with such a straight face. And I like that it's a view into what female friendships are like... but it did get very "are we even attempting to pass a Bechdel test?" territory sometimes. The point is romantic relationships, sex, and the like, so I think that you can sort of excuse the first season for having such asinine conversations, but I found myself more curious about Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha's jobs not just who they were banging. But when the stories involved their jobs it was more of how inconvenient it could be for them to be career women and date (mostly Miranda and somewhat Sam). For Charlotte it was a way to meet men who met her standards. Tell me about art! Or how you got here!

where are their parents and siblings!?! We meet Charlotte's brother and she thinks Sam isn’t good enough for him? Are y'all friends? And then we don't see anyone at her wedding. Or Miranda's! Miranda’s mom dies and she and her sis must not get along cause she’s never mentioned again. I DID like the support of the 3 during the passing of her mom tho.

The negatives of the show I am sure I am not the first to point out but so much like racism, transphobia, homophobia, and like? I'm genuinely surprised it was written by a gay man since the gay men we're introduced to are somewhat caricatures and idk if flat is the right word but the show didn’t seem to actually care about Stanford, despite being relegated as part of the friend group but not one of the girls.

I kinda wish they kept Carrie's 4th wall breaking from the first season. I enjoyed it being not only Carrie's thoughts on love, sex, and relationships but her random and somewhat diverse (at least in class/careers) group of acquaintances. I kinda liked that you had a man's perspective in Skipper, but he was just so incel-before-it-was-a-thing that yeah it was fine when he left. But basically, I would have like a more rounded cast of characters not just the 4 women themselves?

idk I think overall I liked it (I mean I watched it all and am now writing out my thoughts on it—tho partially cause no one I’m close with irl has seen it). The fashion! The overall feel that it does sort of glamorize and make me go "I can be single in the city in my 30s!".

Onto the women themselves!

Carrie: I understand why Carrie is hated. She kinda sucks. She's a better friend to the women when their issues are not serious. She overlooks their issues when she's got "bigger" things on her mind (Big/Aiden, other men, her career, her fashion/money troubles, etc.)

She doesn't seem to be very sex positive/open minded about sex despite being a sex columnist. Like her dating a bisexual man and "not knowing what to say" and “I don't think it exists/layover to gay town". Like girl, WHAT? but then she was also rather calm about the pissing kink man and was like “not for me but here are alternatives” so where’s that energy?

I really enjoyed her fashion, I think if I had that confidence (and admittedly body) I would wear all sorts of things like she did and not care what anyone thought.

Big sucks. The show should have ended with her yelling at Big to FUCK OFF and leaving for Paris (and added a scene with the women visiting her and celebrating her new life) BUT for the earlier seasons idk why she just didn’t listen to him, he basically told her he did not want anything serious with her. She pushed it to be something else. I LOATHED THE cheating story line mostly cause I really disliked how a confident woman like Carrie stooped so low and needed Charlotte to remind her to think about being in Natasha’s shoes (didn’t she also judge Sam when Sam fucked a married guy?) Like she had a babsic all women deserve respect attitude. also Big shoulda dated Charlotte if he wanted a trophy wife cause like Natasha is basically a 26yr old Charlotte. (Not that Charlotte deserves that expired jar of mayo of a man)

then she treated Aiden awful! and to justify their second relationship sucking!!!!! they changed his character to make him an asshole who punished her at every turn (tho in his defense WHY WOULD YOU STILL BE FRIENDS WITH BIG. Not even cause he was the affair partner [tho Carrie 👀 wtf] but like he wasn’t a good “friend” either) like Aiden seemed heartbroken over their relationship ending (both times) but unlike her, he seemed to be someone who would be able to communicate and work past issues but he just didn’t? He just like kept bringing it up, like dude if you’re willing to take back someone who cheated on you stated your boundaries and deal breakers don’t just punish people for breaking them without knowing what they are!

Also idk if this is a 2024 take but for a writer she doesn’t seem to have interests that match writers? It implies she reads vogue but she doesn’t have favorite fashion critics/writers and she doesn’t seem to ever do like any writing workshops (learning or even teaching) idk it just was noticeable that Aleks was “worldly” and she and her friends weren’t? Which brings me to how come Charlotte was the only one who somewhat behaved sanely there. I know Sam always talks about sex but cmon she’s a PR agent she would know how to talk to a millionaire artist at his fancy dinner. Miranda, the lawyer would too.

I hated when Carrie asked Charlotte for money and Charlotte basically asked for forgiveness for not being there for her and initially rejecting the idea and then gave her the ring! wtf? Sell off half your fashion for money girl. I find it hard to believe someone in their 30s really didn’t know shit about money and even a huge love a of fashion, sell enough to get money to get a loan!!!!

THAT BEING SAID

I kinda like that she was a toxic, selfish, went-for-the-guy-despite-him-being-bad-for-her main character. Good fashion, sarcastic and witty, I really kinda miss landlines cause of her, I really enjoyed the overall friendship that was implied Carrie offered (tho it didn’t come across very well in later seasons lbr). Again, if i could i'd have here confidence, love of indulgence, HAIR, glamours partying (within reason smoking aint for me), and be a published author in a glamorous city.

Charlotte:

I didn’t like Charlotte at first, too conservative and WASPY and very dated views on dating and sex. Also weird that she was friends with any of these women when she basically disagreed with their very vocal opinions on sex. Like she seemed very opposed to sleeping around, despite still sleeping around herself idk oxymoronic imo.

but

she was easier to come around on. She’s the romantic, she had some of the best line of the series “maybe we can be each others soulmates”, “I’m worth a million”. I think she should have ended things with Trey waaay earlier cause of Bunny, like babes she sucks even if you wanted to eventually be a WASPY socialite like her. Trey clearly will not stand up to her...But kudos to Trey giving her the apt after the shit he put her through. Harry was great! I think I would go about committing to something the way Charlotte did when she converted to Judaism, which was try your hardest to, study your ass off, and be ambitious and unrelenting in completing your goals. So I relate to that. I’m glad she got her baby in the end, she deserved an adoption waaaay earlier and damn was watching her miscarry was a hard episode. I relate to her in her ambitious and romanticism but I also do not relate to her trust fund ways lol

her style was very classic and almost 50s/60s inspired I like the lines and cuts the most out of her closet but I would go with bolder colors tbh! 🤔 l guess my ending would be:

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (can we please get a name?) and that she has another adoption in the process!

Miranda:

They did her dirty. She was cynical and sarcastic and stubborn and I was sure she and Samantha would be the “it’s ok to never marry or even partner up” story lines. And then she got pregnant and while I can understand why she would keep a child if she technically wanted some in the future (I would have to rewatch or google but I was sure she and Sam were like “kids are no!” I was sure she never did even after her ovary scare) I HATE STEVE.

he’s childish, he’s immature, he’s not on her financial level! even after the bar becomes a success (does it? I feel like she’s paying for everything! cause it's her apartment!) This man brought a puppy to convince her for a child and did NOTHING. I do not understand why she “loves him”. Cause I understand like the man that gave you a child but BLAIR UNDERWOOD WAS RIGHT THERE! He was a successful doctor. He understood her neurosis and also was able to help her work through it like Steve (i'll give him that he tried to balance her out) and Robert was frankly a better option (remember Steve couldn't fucking take care of their baby despite being the one who allegedly wanted children 1-2 years earlier!). If she had to end up with someone, it should have been Robert. (Why did they make Blair/Robert a fucking loser after the breakup? I understand him being hurt by being broken up with but he didn’t have to be such an ass to her and immediately what fuck two women to show he didn’t love her anyway????)

I wish they had kept her more androgynous style, they soften her up which fine but she was so good at the power suits! I like that she had short hair and was still chic. ALSO I miss real teeth. They're all clearly like straight and real teeth, Carrie has more yellow ones and I assume it's due do smoking but man remember real teeth in film and TV

Anyway, ending with Miranda added:

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. (I guess I should add, she can dump Aleks still and just get another column or start a blog [2004 remember] about “An American Girl living in Paris”) Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (again I want her to name the baby girl) and that she has another adoption in the process! Miranda is visiting alone (Brady is with Magda or even Steve cause damn dude take care of your child). She’s happy and successfully opened her own firm? Idk how lawyer careers work but she deserves to be a boss ass bitch-lawyer while being a single mom. OR she and Dr. Robert are engaged!

Sam:

also done dirty. And I mean cause despite being liberal and very vocal about sex, I really found it hard to believe she didn’t get tested until someone reminded her? HUH? She’s 40 and loves to fuck and is well groomed cmon! You can just be like she gets anxiety every time she tests cause so much language around STIs is "if you have sex you will die"!

I feel like her getting cancer was a way to punish her? Idk it felt like the story was saying she needed to learn a lesson bc a lot of her sex story lines were a bit of a punishment not a celebration (she fucked a married rich man and gets shut out? if she's rich enough she'd still be allowed into places cmon), but she was so cool about it all including the cancer, that it didn’t work but I still got that feeling of punishing Sam and maybe it’s my knowledge of the rift between SJP and KC?

Anyway, small dick good man was a meh story, big dick meh man was a rehash, SHE’S BI but Maria was a caricature of SPICY ANGRY LOUD LATINA. So we don’t even mention that again. Richard was truly a dick she should have kept fucking him and milking him for money and been fine with him fucking others and she could fuck others. bc why did she take him back? Girl you knew you didn’t believe him! Either he’s good for sex and money or you go back to being your phenomenal self!

Smith was great, supportive and a bit of a boytoy tbh? I like that they fell in love fr and he supported her so much. Again why fuck richard for her to just cry about it? And not even control the situation.

Sam’s style is the best, power suits, bright colors, shows off her body, wears patterns and looks great!

ending would be 🤔

Carrie tells Big fuck off, leaves to Paris. (I guess I should add, she can dump Aleks still and just get another column or start a blog [2004 remember] about “An American Girl living in Paris”) Charlotte visits with her baby and the others a year later. We get clarification that she adopted her baby (again I want her to name the baby girl) and that she has another adoption in the process! Miranda is visiting alone (Brady is with Magda or even Steve cause damn dude take care of your child). She’s happy and successfully opened her own firm? Idk how lawyer careers work but she deserves to be a boss ass bitch-lawyer while being a single mom. OR she and Dr. Robert are engaged! Sam is visiting and has been traveling Europe and it’s all a travel expense cause she’s still Smith’s PR agent and he’s on a press tour! Cancer is gone! She’s living the life! She's free to do whatever the fuck she likes.

Yeah I liked SATC overall, again 7/10. Maybe I'll rewatch when I'm 40

[iloveschiaparelli]

moments I should have known I was autistic

This one is a little different bc it indirectly resulted in my first time flagging autism as a thing I might have

Covid lock down in 2020 was really hard for several reasons, mainly not having any friends and not being able to leave the house. But once I finished the school year and made some friends online... I never before nor after have had a year that was better for my mental health and creativity. I organize my art chronologically in my computer and 2020 still remains as the single most productive year for my art ever, by file count. The majority of progress I've made in developing my fictional worlds and stories was made during lockdown, both in 2020 and 2021 throughout my senior year, which was a hybrid remote so I only had to go in 2 days a week.

I spent maybe 30 mins to an hour a day on Instagram looking at crossposts from tumblr. Seeing that I was relating to a very high concentration of queer and autism posts was what first caused me to begin questioning whether I might be autistic. I grew up in a straight, conservative household. I'm a cis female. And yet I observed and said at one point in 2020 "I relate more to the experiences of an autistic gay man than I do to the experiences of anyone in my demographic". I would joke that maybe I'm autistic, but didn't really do any research until the next couple years when I hit college. This was also when I started thinking I had ADHD, but it was 2 years until I got my diagnosis for that.

Looking back it makes so much sense. The reason why I couldn't relate to other straight neurotypical girls is because I'm NOT neurotypical, and I AM attracted to women. (I do not label myself as bisexual or date women for personal & religious reasons, but I do accept that as part of myself and I don't try to force myself to change.) I had spent 17 years trying to fit in with the normal kids and yeah, it was never going to work because I wasn't normal no matter how much I thought I was.

The reason why lockdown was so productive for me creatively and why I felt so healthy and at peace was because I didn't have to leave my house, which meant I didn't have to mask. Even on occasional trips to the grocery store, the building was so empty that it was quiet. I never had to suffer through sensory overload. My house was clean (never before nor after lockdown has my family's home ever been clean enough for me to function in) meaning I could cook in thr kitchen and hang out on the floor or in the livingroom with no sensory problems.

Even once I went to my senior year of high school, it was only 2 days a week in-person. I wore my mask and didn't talk to anyone unless I had to. The food was awful and working with clay in the ceramics class was difficult on a sensory level but as long as it was wet I was fine. They had remote work for us to do on the 3 days home, but I just did it on school days and did art and played minecraft on the off days.

My mental health was abysmal at the start of lockdown, so of course I suffered plenty mentally throughout. But I made SO MUCH progress.

Now that the world has gone back to normal, I'm back to struggling. It's hard to hold down a job because every job available to me isoverestimating. Going to the grocery store is overstimulating because there are crowds of people there. The roads are full of traffic, strangers try to talk to me or wear heavy fragrances/have body odor and stand less than 6 ft away. I can't take 5 days a week to rest, I have to work to pay my bills. If I don't work, I spend those 5 days wondering where my next source of income is going to come from. I sleep way too much, or at least at all the wrong times, because of how stressed I am at the end of every day keeps me awake late into the morning, and then I overslept because I'm exhausted. I used to live in a rural area but now I live in the city, at an apartment complex where it's never fully quiet. (My roommates and i are touring houses this week! Fingers crossed!!).

It seems like I really am disabled in the context of my environment.

I can function OK when I'm in school with no other responsibilities. I can function OK when I have a job and no other responsibilities.

I can barely function, or not at all, if I have school AND a job.

I function best when I have minimal responsibilitie's to fulfill outside of what I enjoy doing. Because I'm disabled. And the covid lockdown was an illustration of how I could function in an accommodating environment.

[inky-snowdrop]

Love Is Love

A 2023 L.G.B.T+ Aesthetic Collection

Day 18 • Erron Black is Bisexual!

Day 17 • Day 19

👇🏽 Pride Headcanons Below! 👇🏽

💗•💜•💙

This cowboy is flirty as fuck! If you can walk, talk, and fight, then Erron will 100% try to seduce you. He almost can't help it; He's literally always been like this and being charming is just second nature to him. Even in the Old West, Erron flirted with every man (especially those dirty, rotten outlaws) and woman (especially those guntottin' sharpshootin' church ladies) that he met. Has this gotten him into trouble in the past? Yes. Does he regret ever taking a chance on a lonely stranger? Hell nah.

The danger of fucking someone who could potentially kick his ass into the next century is a HUGE turn on for Erron Black. He wants to fuck someone that is his equal or better than him in kombat. It's a perverse thrill to skate the line between lust and danger; Cheating death is Erron's favorite hobby. Also he's got a blood kink, and enjoys being on the giving (getting HIS blood sucked) side of the equation. Don't believe me? Just ask Nitara and Skarlet 😉🩸

It's no surprise that Erron Black has a hardon for almost everyone in the Mortal Kombat Franchise (I don't blame him), but it would also not surprise me if he's actually been intimate with a good chunk of them. And, on top of that, I headcanon that he's slept with almost all of his employers and/or co-workers. Not because he was forced to or anything, but literally because he thought it would being exciting to see what these powerful people would be like in bed (and to silently judge them if they are lacking). Also... People are pretty vulnerable when they are fucking, and there's been a few times Erron Black has used that information to his advantage... And before anyone asks, yes, Erron is a switch and he's damn fucking proud of it too.

Like the true bisexual that he is, Erron literally has no preference in gender. None. He also has no preference in species, so honestly, he could fall under the pansexual umbrella as well... But don't try to explain all that shit to him as it would literally go right over his head. He barely understands what the LGBTQ is (thanks to the Kombat Kids).

We all know that Erron is a casanova and it is highly unlikely that he would settle down for anyone, but if he were to find someone that was different then all his other one hit wonders, he'd be willing to ease out of his mercenary lifestyle. He'd want to live in Outworld (away from all the negative memories of his past in Earthrealm) and probably far away from other people. Maybe he'd create the equivalent of a horse farm and train animals for long distance travel. He would not want kids, so that's not in the cards, but he'd be willing to have a pet of some kind. He could be content with his lover, but... There will always be something missing for him. The need to roam and move would always nag him. A good partner for him would recognize this and indulge in his needs, traveling with him or letting him do his own thing for a while. Someone who didn't get it... Would eventually get left behind.

If Erron had to pick a song to describe his sexuality, he'd pick: Ex's & Oh's by Elle King

💗•💜•💙

[pebblysand]

hi pal, how r ye? weird ask ik but thoughts on bisexual!harry?

hello! not weird at all - a very valid question.

that said, i always feel a bit odd when people ask me for opinions about characters/canon events though, because i feel like there's always this expectation that i have a Strong Headcanon about these things, which honestly i mostly don't. i'm pretty neutral on most characters - like: yes, i have my view of them, but if someone has a different view, i'm not going to fight them, you know? i tend to bow out of conversations every time people start drilling into metas and text interpretations, because i find that everyone just seems to have much stronger thoughts than me about most things. i think there's a million ways to interpret canon, and i don't think my way is the only valid interpretation. i really don't feel that strongly about anything 🤣.

that said, from a writing/fic perspective: i guess i feel... neutral about it? i've said this before but i'll say it again: i think really good writing can sell me anything. it could sell me harry as a pirate, harry as a serial killer, harry as a god, if it wanted to, so i don't have any strong objections to anything. i'll read slash fics or fics with harry being bisexual if they're well-written. i suppose the one ship i really don't see is tomharry/harrymort - that seems very far-fetched to me, but again, i think a really good fic could potentially even sell that to me, if the characterisation work was done well.

having said that, i personally wouldn't write bisexual!harry because personally, in my own view of the text, i just don't see it, so it would be hard for me to sell it to other people. i know a lot of people will point to him calling men "handsome" all the time and label that as "basically canon", and if that's your boat, then by all means float it, but i personally think this is just JKR being a straight woman and describing people the way she sees them. also, calling someone of the same sex "handsome" doesn't make you bisexual/gay - i find women pretty all the time, but i identify as (mostly) straight, so. i think if you put a gun to my head and asked me: is "bisexual!harry canon?" i would say "no," because JKR clearly meant him as straight, and interpreting the text any differently is reaching. I appreciate that a lot of people are very #deathoftheauthor with JKR, but i am not.

that said, if you asked me: is is canon-compliant? sure, you can make a lot of things canon-compliant if you want to. you just have to build more on top of canon. there is nothing in canon that says: harry will never be attracted to a man ever, and as such, you can for sure make bisexuality canon-compliant. you just have to work on it and sell it. and, if you want to tell me that's your canon, then fine, why not? it's your interpretation and it's just as valid as mine or JKR's.

i think the way i view these things is more like: how big of a writing hurdle is it to make me believe them? so, for instance, if you were to write a hinny fic, my tolerance for mediocre writing is higher, because i already believe in that relationship. if you were to write a dramione, harmony, drarry or harry/ron fic, your writing hurdle might be a little bit higher, but i do generally think all of these relationships are within the realm of possibilities, and therefore i'll buy it if it's decently written. if you were to write harrymort or snarry, i'm like: mate, that's a Hard Sell, but sure look it, if you think you can pull it off, be my guest.

that's as far as shipping harry with canon male characters goes, though. if we're talking in the abstract, could harry be with another man? i think ... yeah. like, why not? i genuinely don't believe anyone is 100% gay or straight, i think we all sort of float somewhere on that spectrum, so maybe he could potentially meet someone he likes. again, it's probably not what JKR intended, but you can make it canon-compliant. i think it's unlikely, because i think he's probably like 90% straight, but that 10% is open. there's just other canon characters who i think are more likely to be bisexual than he is.

i also think that it's important to acknowledge that it's understandable and important that people write harry as bisexual. like, i totally understand why someone would do that. it's representativity, and openness, etc. but i also don't think changing the canon sexual orientation of canon characters (as in: giving them a different sexual orientation than the one JKR intended) is the only way that can be achieved. HP obviously lacks representativity in that area (esp in light of today's standards) but i tend to focus my diversity writing on OCs, and that's just my way to do it.

additionally, if i want to do something with canon characters, i tend to focus on the sexual orientation of characters who are a bit secondary, whose head you're not in, and for whom, thus, sexual orientation is a bit more of an open question. i think you can easily do that with ginny (in fact one of my favourite fics i've read in recent years in ginny/luna) or with people like seamus or dean, who are in the background enough that you just don't know what they think/who they're attracted to.

but again, i'm a canon-compliant writer. i'm a canon-compliant reader. if you're writing this wild AU where you're totally disregarding the canon characters and settings and just writing whatever you please, then obviously that's a different question.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m bisexual or if I’m a lesbian. I like the idea of a man, but when I’ve tried to peruse them OR like them. I feel awful?? Last year I thought I had a crush on a boy, but after he held my hand I had a full breakdown. I felt like I was going to be trapped forever to him. Or that I have to end up marrying him or something which sounds silly, all he did was hold my hand. But I ended up crying in the middle of the grocery store afterwards. Like I saw my whole life flash before me.

I know I have an interest in girls, because girls are very pretty. I love just about everything about them, but also I find it hard to vocalize that. My family is very accepting but I wouldn’t say there gonna be waving any flags soon. I don’t know I feel awkward most days. No one is FORCING me to like boys, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I like them as much as I like girls. But I can’t tell if it’s natural or if it’s because I feel like I have to like them.I don’t know maybe I’m just weird.

Do you know any outsider character who would go through this? Whether it’s in the canon timeline or like the genderbend one? Maybe they can help me.

Holy shit I feel like past me just sent me an ask wanting advice from current me.

Anon, let me tell you a little story. I've been a romantic all my life. First year of uni I met a dude who was the first guy to ever truly express interest in me. We went on a few dates, he gave me a chaste kiss, everyone in my friend group thought we were sooooo cute together.

I liked it for maybe 2 days. Then this horrible, gut wrenching PANIC started welling in my gut. He was and still is a very sweet, very gentle man. I wasn't scared OF him, but scared of being WITH him. The only way I can describe it is pure revulsion. I didn't want him near me. I didn't wanna touch him. And we weren't even official. All this happened in the span of like. two weeks. But it felt wrong. So wrong. As soon as I told him we were better off as friends it was like this huge weight lifted off of me.

Sometimes I see guys and I think they're cute. Sometimes I think they're attractive. Every time I go on a date with one or one flirts with me that same wave of revulsion rears it's ugly head, usually within 24 hours.

I haven't experienced the same with women, but I'm also stupid and didn't realize the one date I went on with a woman was actually a date (rip) and then she ghosted me (fair). I'm fully aware that it's possible that when being faced with dating a woman I might feel exactly the same way, in which case I'm going to have to really consider I might be aromantic as well as asexual. Now, I don't know if this applies to you too but it might. I have never and will never desire anyone sexually, full stop, but right now I think I might never want to date anyone either. And I'm okay with that. I haven't fully ruled girls out yet. Maybe Ill find a woman and start dating her and it'll be perfect (i think it's worth saying Im more consistently and strongly attracted to women than I ever have been to men.) maybe I won't. Maybe the feelings I've had in the past for men have been comphet rather than genuine attraction. I also don't know. That's ok. You also don't need to know, anon. It's really ok. Attraction in all ways is so fucking weird. Its hard to figure out.

As for outsiders characters: I think my aroace queen Evie felt a lot of the same feelings as you before she figured herself out, but she's happy with her best friend Steve and her family whom she's very close to. She watches relationships around her crumble and feels like she kind of lucked out not feeling any feelings of romance

Sylvia, my lesbian queen, spent a lot of time wondering if she was actually into men before she realised she just felt like she should.

Susie Mathews wondered if she was a lesbian for a while before she realized she genuinely does like men too, just has a preference for women.