#maybe blogging will just be links sometimes lets see

[wellntruly]

January Link Round-up

The answer to how the exceedingly wealthy Italian family who MAY own the Van Gogh painting that vanished into private collections decades ago made said private fortune was better than I ever could have imagined. [Michael Forsythe, Graham Bowley, and Elisabetta Povoledo, New York Times (gift link)]

Oscar-winning designer Catherine Martin hand-painted the wallpaper in Baz Luhrman’s new East Village bar, designed as if owned by a fictional #retro medievalist gadabout he calls Monsieur. [Nate Freeman, Vanity Fair]

This bangin' new Smitten Kitchen recipe for potato leek soup has you crisp up the potato skin peelings for a garnish. [Deb Perelman, Smitten Kitchen]

I have bought my first pair of winter gloves since the knit ones I got in Edinburgh in 2009, they are these cashmere and leather ones, in black, and I love them, if you are also on the look for a new 15-year pair of gloves. [Alex Mill]

[crossbackpoke-check]

nosy anon again making a return because i think what my brain did was read that i helped find some kind of writing and then did not fully process what the writing was?? but upon rereading i am very intrigued if you ever get the urge to share i will be all eyes/ears/senses required to enjoy things!!

I GET TO DO WIP WEDNESDAYYYYYY!!! the writing exists mostly in the form of a tag (fantastic! 'verse) and also a thirty-two page doc of snippets and planning, so the sense you will be using most is imagination:

don't think i have ever actually formally written out anything about fantastic! 'verse but! the tl;dr of it is that it's a semi-college au: joel is still a hockey player for the lv phantoms, but morgan is a college student-athlete. it's incredibly relevant to the plot that joel falls in love with morgan in the check-out line of a wegman's, lies a little bit, and ends up going back to get his degree.

most of it is just good fun about college kids growing up, but i think there's a lot of parallels between making your way through a development system where traditional "success" isn't always guaranteed (ahl -> nhl, completion of higher education -> pursuit of a career) because that development system isn't always designed for you to "succeed" or have opportunities. heavy quotation marks around success because part of that struggle is learning what you want in life and how you define success. are your dreams achievable? are they still the same dreams you always used to have? it's infinite branching universes of would you still love me if i was a worm (ahl player forever) (a college dropout) (a college graduate) (older) (realizing the fallibility of your body) (uncertain of the future) (human).

silly little snippet:

[wonallofme]

let it out, loser!

tw and tags: boxer!jungwon x fem!reader, smut, no condom, penetration, creampie, squirt, heavy dubcon, no plot just porn, the sex is nasty af, a little of blood (biting lips and fight wounds), allusion to past noncon, insanity from both of them. word count: 1.7k note: hi! i haven't written anything in a long time and just wanted to do something short. this is my first (official) enhypen piece, hope someone here likes it. if you know me from my other blog, you just know the sex i write is not the most sane one. again, this is pure fiction! Please be careful about the tags you wish to block.

credits for the divider: @bernardsbendystraws (link)

The sound of his keys being thrown to the table in your kitchen shouldn’t be that hot. The sound of his bag hitting your floor with fury shouldn’t make your panties get wet. Even more, the sound of his heart beating inside his chest so fast shouldn’t make you excited for what was about to come.

Knowing too well how he, his breath, his steps, his things, sounded when he was angry after a loss, shouldn’t turn you on.

One, two, three, four. You counted the steps he took.

Usually, if he walked around the room, he would be searching for condoms. He didn’t walk that much, so you immediately knew, he would be harder that night.

After all, he needed to let everything out to be himself the next day.

‘’I know you’re awake,’’ he said, making you open your eyes to not pretend anymore.

He didn’t try to be gentle.

His face was a mess, even in the darkness of the night, with the little to almost no light that trespassed your curtains, you could see a faint purple color on his cheek, and a bright fresh red on his lip. Both meant he would leave you hurting too.

You didn’t have to ask what he wanted from you.

You ruffled in your sheets.

You moved them so he could accommodate himself between your legs, and rubbing your eyes from the recent nap you had, you simply let him take your pajama shorts off.

It was better when you didn’t interrupt him.

You don’t hate this version of him. You know that, when the morning comes, he’ll be your nice boyfriend again. He’ll make breakfast and won’t talk at all about the night or his fight. He’ll let you clean his wounds, he’ll give you a silent soft kiss after walking you to class, and then he’ll go to the gym to keep training.

He made it hurt those nights, but he never made it hurt in your daily life.

Jungwon is the kind of boyfriend that makes sure you’re always comfortable while having sex. He leaves soft pecks on your cheek while fingering you, and he asks if you’re okay when he puts it in. He’s so tender, sometimes, you’re the one afraid of hurting him.

So, these times, when he doesn’t ask how you feel, and he just takes, you try to understand him.

A whimper came out of your mouth, totally involuntarily, when you felt his spit touching your entrance.

He was over you, between your legs, forcing them open with his own amplitude, staring at your entrance and how his saliva mixed with your wetness.

For these occasions, that little help was more than enough for you. He almost laughed. A smirk appeared on his mouth, and he let a curse out. Were you happy he was a mess? Was he really that pathetic? Why were you always so excited when he arrived from losing a match?

‘’You’re lucky I’m this kind, crazy bitch.’’

Pressing his tip on your wet clit, he exhaled loudly, looking defeated, before moving it down between your lips, smearing his spit along. He didn’t look at your eyes in this mode. He didn’t dare to look at your face. He concentrated on what he wanted from you, and you tried to find what parts of him were wounded so you could make a list of things you might need.

Ointment, bandages, cold pads, maybe you would have to cook him something nice too. Did you have apples left?

You couldn’t continue thinking when he slid in.

The burning made you leave a hurt sound out. You whimpered again, because of the pain, and hissed when he pulled out.

He didn’t ask you anything. He didn’t kiss your lips to ease it up or apologise in your ear before stopping altogether. You could see his mind thinking of something, and you wanted to suggest him, maybe he could give you more of it? As if reading your mind, he spat on his hand, a long line of drool finding his cock, and some of it spilling on your pussy on the way.

Your legs trembled with the sensation, somehow feeling a rush in your entire body. You wanted it so bad, this side of him, that when he wrapped the back of your thighs to oblige it all the way to your breast, you cried.

Not because of the sudden movement, or because of how challenging the position was, but because you knew he wanted you to feel it all.

And, when he wanted that, you would really feel it all.

‘’Fu-fuck,’’ you moaned when he bullied his way inside again.

Immediately after talking, you bit your lips.

He didn’t like it when you talked. Whether it was to complain or praise him, he didn’t care. He needed you to not talk or make him think or look at your face. He needed you to be, if possible, dead silent to only concentrate on his own thoughts.

Of course, that was almost impossible, so he would press a hand on your mouth if you didn’t behave, and in the worst cases, to mute you, he would press your face down.

Whimpers were acceptable. Broken moans, bearable. But words? No, never.

You wanted to apologize but it wasn’t the right answer, you knew it too well. You know him too well. Or so, you wanted to believe.

He pushed your legs further, slamming inside, pushing the air out of your lungs.

It continued hurting, but you couldn’t care less.

The awareness of him being there, the sound of his breathing, his hisses, the groans, you wanted it all.

A wet echo filled the room with the force he used to fuck you and your wet pussy taking him. Your walls moved to accommodate him, to welcome him with much enthusiasm, just like your hands pulling your legs closer to make it more comfortable for him.

He wasn’t wearing a condom, and just the memory of his cum all inside you made you tighten around him.

Inside your mind, you repeated give it to me, please, because your mouth wasn’t allowed to do it. It felt way too good. The first time, it made you deeply uncomfortable to feel it inside. You felt dirty, disgusting, and you couldn’t believe it had happened. Now, you couldn’t find the words to ask for it again.

You could only hope he lost.

‘’Fuck, why can’t I…? Fuck!’’

His torso raised, his hips aligned at a better angle, and he thrusted harder.

Your teeth were sinking on your lower lip, brows furrowing and eyes closing to not show him how much you were enjoying it. Probably, it was useless to even try to hide it.

Your shirt was sticking to your torso because of the sweat. Yours, his. Fuck, you heard him curse. The lower front wet spot, in no way, was from just sweat.

The spasms were arriving. You felt your abdomen get tighter, and you tried to calculate how much time had passed. It hasn’t been long enough, you concluded. You couldn’t cum, you had to hold it in, for him, because it couldn’t end so fast. For him, that short time was not enough. It couldn’t be enough.

He needed you to hold it. He needed it. He.

You cried. This time, a few tears escaped. You turned your face to the side, and a salty flavor on your tongue distracted you.

You only noticed you bit yourself so hard your lips were bleeding when you felt more of the metallic taste invading you.

Out of the ordinary, he leaned to inspect your face. His hand tactlessly gripped your chin and forced you to face him, and when he saw the drops of blood flooding your delicate lip, under your teeth, he gulped.

‘’You’re such a mess too.’’

His mouth found yours in a second, obliging you to leave your poor lip free. He, first, just grazed them, doubting to do such a soft act with you, before crashing your wound with his.

The kiss, just like the sex, was not delicate at all.

The sting in your lips was not a sensation you were familiar with. His lips were always soft with you, at least until that moment. At much, they would be lustful, making out with you for long periods of time, but never brute.

His fingers stabbed your jaw, and his tongue prodded out.

You couldn’t breathe properly, overwhelmed with his strength, so you opened your lips to inhale some air, an act he took advantage of by barging his tongue into your mouth.

You had no way of using your brain at that moment. His tongue inside your mouth stealing your little air, his entire weight sinking you to the bed, his shoulders maintaining your legs up and against your chest, his cock balls deep inside you. It was all too much. Your head was too dizzy to remember exactly at what point you had your orgasm.

You remember your legs shaking, and an embarrassing loud cry muffled with his mouth against yours.

Also, you remember the broken moan he left out, and his hips reassuming a brutal pace that makes you roll your eyes with the mere memory. His long cock had hit a spot that made you lose yourself, and your pussy, so sensitive with how he had continued using you, had the most intense orgasm you ever had.

The clean gush finished wetting the front of your shirt, splashing his abdomen and making a pod slide down onto the bedsheets. Sadly, he didn’t care that you were trembling and bawling because of it. He plunged back inside, biting your cries and mixing both bloods while trying to find his own orgasm.

He left it out all inside you.

When you felt his warm cum invading you, you passed out.

After that, all is black. You try to move your body, finding it uncomfortable and painful. Still, you turn your head, finding your boyfriend’s naked back beside you. From the way his breath is calm now that he’s sleeping, you deduce he’s back to normal after finding his release.

Your shirt is different, clean, and the bed sheets are blue instead of white, so you know it’s not the same set from the night before.

At the sensation of his cum leaking out of you, you wonder if changing your clothes and sheets was the only thing he did to you while you were unconscious.

[witchywcmans]

FORBIDDEN FRUIT. | LAIOS TOUDEN

synopsis ━━ laios can't seem to get enough after he first tastes you. but the lines in your friendship are beginning to blur. it's only when your party happens upon your ex-lover in the dungeon that laios realizes what he should've communicated all along. (laios x f!reader.)

content warnings ━━ cunnilingus, praise, size kink, jealousy, classic missionary, unprotected sex, creampie, mutual pining/confession, laios and reader are not good with communication (but they work it out v well), laios is self concious but reader is so kind to him !!, monster facts as dirty talk. nsfw (minors + ageless blogs dni).

word count ━━ 4.8k

song inspiration ━━ awkward, sza / cherry, lana del rey / hunger, florence + the machine

author's note ━━ TECHNICALLY, this could be a part 2 to please, eat, so I'm just going to link as a part 2. you don't have to read please, eat before this, but if you like laios then obvi you should read it anyway!! I'm SO SORRY it took me so long to post another laios x reader 😭 I was trying to finish the manga before I wrote something else dungeon meshi-related, but life gets the way. oh well. also, this might be controversial, but in this fic I’m refuting the “laios is a virgin” allegations. SUE ME. I simply don’t believe he��s been adventuring so long and hasn’t been with anyone, that is crazzzy to me !! but that's just me 🤗 we all have our fave headcanons! my goal when I finish the manga is to write something for laios at the end of the story hehe. I hope you guys enjoy part 2! this one-shot is dedicated to @satoogojos 🫶

🪽 part i: PLEASE, EAT. / part ii: FORBIDDEN FRUIT. / part iii: TOO SWEET.

Catching feelings for your friend was truly a fickle thing. But you guessed it was bound to happen with what you and Laios were doing behind everyone’s back. Each night, after your party tucked themselves in their bedrolls, Laios would so delicately lace your arm through his and you two would find a private area … before he completely buried his face between your thighs.

He was fixated on the way you tasted, the way he could get you to cum so easily on his tongue. You were the only dessert he wanted after every dinner. Some nights, he would have you writhing from overstimulation, but he just wanted more of you – so much more.

It was a little confusing, though, how he didn’t ask for anything in return. Laios seemed to grind against the cold, dungeon floor as his tongue lapped at your essence, sometimes cumming in his pants and moaning between your legs. Or he would politely excuse himself after he was done, taking care of himself as you cleaned yourself up. You didn’t quite understand it, and maybe neither did he. You both were just too awkward to broach the subject.

The incident with the sea serpent had changed your friendship forever. Not only did Laios save you from becoming one, but the intimacy you both now shared seemed to open you up more. You found yourself divulging more secrets to him, leaning on him when you needed someone, even being more impartial to Senshi’s monster meals. And you liked the way he smiled, how he looked at you. You liked how fearless he was. You liked how protective he was over the party, especially you. You … really liked him. Far more than a crush. In fact, you wished you could go back in time and just have a crush. But your feelings for him became deeper as you crept lower and lower into the dungeon together. Your goal was still to come out of this dungeon alive, but now … you hoped that you would make it out alive together.

What a foolish girl you had become.

You tried to remain focused on the path ahead of you, but you were clearly lost in thought today. The party had reached floor 6, which meant you were closer and closer to the deepest part of the dungeon and hopefully rescuing Laios’ sister, Falin. The last thing you expected to see on floor 6 were other adventurers, let alone your ex.

You were hesitant to call him an ex, since you two had never really been anything but a warm body in each other’s beds while living on the surface. But when your bodies collided and your eyes met his, you realized why you had taken a liking to him in the first place. He had been a butcher’s son, handy with an axe, and you had liked his big, strong hands. You almost fell right into him from the slippery dungeon floor, but those strong hands seemed to catch you like you were made of air. “It’s you,” he chuckled, setting you up straight and tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Look at you … feels like it was just yesterday when we were on the surface, huh?”

Marcille looked like she didn’t want anything to do with your ex and his party, but Senshi was very kind to offer them food, if they needed it. Chilchuck seemed neutral, and Laios … you still couldn’t read Laios as easily as the rest of the party. He watched your ex like a hawk, standing behind you as if to protect you. Your ex’s hands were big, sure, but Laios was tall, his shoulders wide and intimidating even without the armor. Laios narrowed his eyes slightly whenever he saw your ex’s gaze roam over you, like he was undressing you with his eyes. And you weren’t sure if you caught it – it only lasted a second – but did Laios clench his hands into fists?

There wasn’t enough time in the world to dwell on it. Especially when you had ghosts seemingly pulling you into another area of the dungeon and waking up on a dirt path, a beautiful golden castle mounted ahead of you. Your party was initially confused, walking into the village and seeing monsters living harmoniously with humans. After becoming acquainted with the village, you and your friends were offered a warm, delicious meal with Yaad, the lord of the Golden Country. After Yaad explained the history of this village, you all were each given rooms to rest in for the night. The beds were small and cold, but far better than a bedroll.

You were used to Laios initiating with you every night, but by the time everyone went to sleep, he still didn’t call upon you. So you stood from your bed, adjusting the nightgown given to you, and walked across the hall to where Laios’ room was. You knocked on his door, and you heard the slip of a sword into a sheath behind the thin wood. He had been inspecting Kensuke for some reason, probably mulling over Yaad’s words. When he opened the door, he was dressed in loose pants and a linen shirt, droplets running down his neck. He must’ve just bathed. You couldn’t stop yourself from digging your nails into your palm.

“Can I come in?” You asked in a hushed voice, and he moved out of the way for you to step inside.

His room looked exactly like yours, but the sheets were ruffled from lack of sleep. Laios walked around you and sat on the edge of the bed, leaving you more confused than ever. You played with your hands as you stared at him, contemplating. “Is something wrong, Laios?” You inquired, stepping closer to him. “You’ve been acting weird even before we got here.”

His brow furrowed for a moment. “How do you figure?”

“Well, you …” Your tongue clicked. “You didn’t come to find me after everyone went to bed.”

He seemed to concede, shoulders dipping at your answer. Shifting on the mattress, he propped himself up against his pillows and moved Kensuke to lean against the wall. His silence was even more perplexing. This had to be the longest time Laios went without talking. He was a blabbermouth.

“I don’t understand,” you continued, walking over and sitting on the end of his bed. “Are you … are you angry with me?”

“No, no,” Laios was quick to reply, “I’m not angry with you. I’m just …”

You raised a brow, eager to hear his answer.

“That man you recognized. On floor 6,” he finally said, his fists clenching again at the memory. “I didn’t … I didn’t like the way he looked at you. And his tone. It was disrespectful to you. Unless I’m reading this all wrong.”

You were taken aback by his honesty. So he had been bothered by your ex. “Oh,” you replied, “well … me and him, we do have history, Laios. But it’s in the past.”

“I could tell.” He was picking at his nails now, any excuse not to meet your eyes. “Everyone has a life before the dungeon. It’s not about the past. I just … I didn’t like him. Or how he looked at you like … like he still wanted you. Or something.”

“Or something,” you repeated, nodding your head. A slow smile crept onto your lips at the realization. “Laios, are you jealous?”

His head jolted up, his eyes glued to his hands, searching for something unknown. Realization washed over his face, as if he hadn’t even considered this possibility. “Oh, gods,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “This whole day I’ve been trying to reconcile with what I’m feeling and I knew I wasn’t mad at you – maybe just mad at the circumstances – and none of it made sense, but now …” He finally met your eyes, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “I was just jealous. How did I not realize?”

“Maybe because we didn’t talk about it,” you offered in a low voice, reaching out and lacing your fingers with his. A jolt of electricity ran through your fingertips and all the way up your arm. You wished you could hide your reaction, but it was clear as day, making Laios shift in his spot. “Laios, we should talk –”

“You’re not leaving the party, are you?” His grip on your fingers went tight, and he didn’t even realize it.

“No,” you laughed, scooting closer and running your free hand over his face. His cheeks flushed instantly when you touched him. “I think … we should talk about what’s happening between us.”

Laios’ gaze went narrow as he processed your words. “Oh,” he said blankly, and then his eyes went wide. “Oh.”

“I just … because we’ve been doing this every night … it’s hard not to feel …” You sighed, unable to get the words right. But he seemed to understand, quick-witted as ever, squeezing your hand in encouragement. And then he smiled at you, all dopey and kind, and your heart began to pound. “I can’t help but think that the lines are being blurred between us. My feelings for you are … much deeper than what they were initially. And if you don’t feel the same way, that’s okay. I needed you to know. I’m sorry if this hurts … whatever our relationship is.”

He was still smiling, his other hand gripping your waist, pulling you even closer. “Well, I think –”

“And now I can’t help but wonder if maybe – just maybe – you feel the same way,” you started rambling, terrified to know how he was going to reply. “Because why would you feel jealous if you didn’t … I shouldn’t make assumptions. But I still wondered. And I can’t stop talking. Again, I don’t want this to ruin anything and I’m sorry if it does. My ex doesn’t mean anything to me anymore and he won’t ever again –”

Out of nowhere, Laios used his upper body strength to flip you onto your back, pinning you to the bed. Now your cheeks were flushed, completely caught off guard by the action. He sat in between your legs, his fingers just brushing over your waist, as he said, “I do. Feel the same. I feel like I’m the one who could’ve ruined this because I didn’t realize it sooner.”

You gave him a sad smile, reaching up to cup his chin. “You couldn’t ruin anything.”

He leaned into your palm when your hand moved to his cheek, humming under his breath. He then leaned down, his body just barely pressing against yours, as if he craved your body heat. Like a moth to a flame.

“Can we not talk about your ex ever again?” He muttered, his hands running up and down your sides. “Because when I saw him today, all I could think about was …” He stopped himself abruptly.

“What?” Your curiosity peaked.

“I’m going to sound like a jealous brute,” he sighed dramatically, nose brushing against yours as his hands moved higher, thumbs grazing over the underside of your breasts. The material of your nightgown was so thin that your peaked nipples were already visible. “I just … couldn’t stop thinking about all the times I’ve tasted you that he hasn’t. I wondered if he knew exactly how you liked it, which places made those funny sounds come out of your mouth. And then, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and all I wanted this whole day was to get you alone.”

You shuddered when his thumb brushed over one of your taut nipples, making your heel run down the back of his leg. His words alone made tingles run down your spine, but the second his hands were on you, you were properly soaked. The both of you lay there for a moment: him on top of you, nuzzling your nose, rolling his fingers over your nipples through your nightgown, eliciting breath hitches from your lips.

It was so slow, so patient, so good, but had you wanting more. And you couldn’t stop the words coming out when you blurted, “I want to have sex.”

He paused, opening his eyes for a moment, making sure he heard you properly.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you said quickly, feeling awkward. But why were you so shy all of a sudden? It’s not like he didn’t have his tongue deep inside your pussy every night. Maybe it was because there was a question still lying underneath the surface. “Why ... why don’t you want me to help you finish after you eat me out? Sometimes you just … walk away to take care of yourself.”

Laios’ face went bright red, and then he buried his face in your neck. “I’m so embarrassed.”

Your hand pushed back his cropped, blonde hair, trying to soothe his racing heart. “Why are you embarrassed?”

“Because it’s … it’s big,” he sighed and lifted his head. “There. I said it. It’s just big. And the last person who saw it made me feel super self-conscious about it.”

You couldn’t help but snort. “You’re embarrassed because you have a big dick?”

His pretty golden eyes were serious, but it looked like he wanted to laugh with you. “Please, don’t make it sound trivial.”

“It’s not trivial, it’s just …” You went to cup both his cheeks. The way he looked at you was unlike anything you ever experienced. You wondered why it took you so long to realize he felt the same. “I would never make you feel self-conscious about anything. I like everything about you, Laios.”

Your words had him melting, leaning back down into you and kissing you slowly. It was only when his tongue slipped into your mouth that his hand snaked down between your legs, just cupping your soaked entrance, the one thing he loved to eat more cheesecake. Realizing that you weren’t wearing any underwear had him reeling. “Gods …” He moaned into the kiss, his fingers simply running down your soaked folds.

As his lips broke away from yours, you asked in a tone as sweet as barometz, “Do you want to have sex, Laios?”

“Yes,” he replied, voice desperate. “Yes, please.”

Your hands went to the hem of his loose, linen shirt, breaking your kiss again to lift it over his head. For the first time, you were able to see what he looked like underneath all the armor. His shoulders were wide-set, his torso soft while also being oddly defined. Most tall-men your party encountered thought Laios was on the slender side, not believing how strong he was. But once your eyes beheld his biceps, you knew how wrong they all were. He was built and muscular and – gods, you could admire him for hours.

Laios stopped your hands from going any further, a pleading look in his eyes. He pushed your nightgown up and bunched it at the waist. “Can I taste you first?”

You nodded quickly, already intoxicated by the way he kissed you, the way he smiled at you, all eager and excited to bury his face in your pussy. It didn’t take him long; he was lightning fast, moving down your body and lifting your legs on his shoulders so he could eat you out easier. His tongue dove into your folds immediately, and he groaned at the first taste. You were acutely more aware every night that he could do this for hours, just lapping at you lazily, bringing you to orgasm over and over again. No monster compared to the way you tasted.

His nose bumped your clit as he tongued your leaking hole, practically whimpering at every drop of your wetness that reached his mouth. Large, calloused hands wrapped around your thighs, making sure they didn’t close and digging into your flesh. Your own hands fisted into the sheets, your ass lifted off the bed, but you could still grind your hips against his face. Soft whines left your lips, nothing compared to the groans Laios was making as he ate you like he didn’t have a three-course meal just an hour ago. You almost wondered if you should tell him to quiet down, afraid of the others hearing, but you were too lost in the pleasure to care.

It was clear to you the closer you got to reaching your peak that Laios wasn’t keen on stopping. And as much as you truly wanted to cum all over his tongue, you thought it was important that you both have this new experience together. It took you a few seconds to finally gather the courage to say something, his tongue feeling too good as he swirled it around your sensitive clit. “Laios,” you called, and then a little louder, “Laios.”

He lifted his head, your juices dripping down his chin. A primal urge made him want to dive back into you, but he controlled himself. His tongue licked at your essence around his mouth, and you shuddered at the sight.

“I want you inside me,” you whispered. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, yes,” he muttered hoarsely, placing your legs so delicately back on the bed, as if they were made of glass. “Of course.” He so desperately wanted to taste you again, but he was even more excited for this, to finally feel something other than his hand wrapped around his cock. You were the first person he ever tasted, but it had been quite a while since he was truly intimate with someone, to slide into someone and feel them clench around him.

As you tugged off your nightgown, Laios began to work at the ties of his pants. But his hands stopped as they came undone, glancing up at you with hesitation. You looked so pretty sitting in the middle of his bed, waiting for him, naked and vulnerable. He felt silly for feeling so self-conscious, especially when you were so beautiful like this.

“Laios,” you cooed, caressing his arm, “there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And if you don’t want to, then we can stop.”

He almost choked on a laugh. “Trust me,” he replied, “I want to.”

After another beat of stalling, Laios finally stepped out of his bottoms and blushed pink from ear to ear. His cock was … well, it certainly was big. You sympathized with him; if anyone told you something about your body during sex, you would focus on that forever. But there was nothing for him to be embarrassed about. Truthfully, most males would kill to have what he did. His cock was thick and long, a few veins trailing down the shaft, curving up at his pretty red tip that was dripping with precum. You got even more wet just from staring at it, wondering what he would finally feel like inside of you. 

Your mouth opened to say something, anything to make him feel better, but he was already talking: “I need a distraction so I don’t think about you staring at it.” He crawled back onto the bed and between your thighs, immediately pressing his lips to yours. You could taste yourself still on his mouth, and your arms wound around his shoulders instantly. His teeth tugged at your bottom lip, and he asked, “Can I just … ramble about monster facts for a minute?”

You blinked, not expecting that. Laios released your lower lip and sighed, clearly still nervous. “It’ll help me get over this feeling. I swear. Or if you want to stop this, we can. I’ll … I’ll understand –”

“Laios,” you huffed, your mouth pulling back into a sweet smile, “I want you to do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

“Oh, thank the gods,” he muttered, nuzzling his face back into your neck, placing sloppy kisses. “Did you know that … that harpies almost exclusively have the head of a female human and it is unknown if male harpies exist?”

His voice was muffled against your neck, but you could tell he was desperate and aching. You felt his hard length against your stomach, smearing precum on the exposed skin. “Really?” You breathed out, trying to engage with him but completely failing when he licked a stripe up your neck. A moan escaped your lips.

“There’s also … there’s, uh …” He was struggling to talk now, grasping his cock and giving it a few quick pumps before teasing the head against your dripping wet folds. Your legs instinctively opened wider for him, hoping to whatever gods were out there that you could take his cock. “There also exists a seabird variant of harpies called … called, Sirens. Their wings and  … their – their tail look like a seagull’s.”

You could hardly breathe as you asked, “What else, Laios?”

He began to push inside you slowly, letting you adjust with each inch. “Okay, okay … uh … bicorns … bicorns hate – oh, fuck.” Just the feeling of your tight warmth wrapped around his cock had him biting into your shoulder, like you were the forbidden fruit. He could hardly string together a word, could hardly think, as he sank deeper and deeper into you, his whole body shaking. “Bicorns hate … hate virtue. They prefer – shit – immorality. It is believed that … doing all seven deadly sins will … will allow an individual to approach a bicorn – fuck. Fuck. It feels –”

When he was finally buried to the hilt, all he could do was breathe into your neck. You whined, locking your legs around his waist. The stretch was unbelievable; your walls gripped him like a vice. But it was even better than you could’ve imagined. If you had thought originally that the night would go this way, you would’ve at least brushed your hair. Laios didn’t care though, inhaling the flowery scent as he nosed your pretty strands. You couldn’t even comprehend – whether it be from the stretch of his thick cock inside you or the overwhelming amount of butterflies in your stomach – how you were so lucky to have found him.

Not to mention, you felt even luckier that this wasn’t happening on a cold dungeon floor.

With one hand carding into his hair, you chuckled under your breath, “Had enough of reciting monster facts?”

“Mmhmm …” He groaned, unable to form a sentence. You finally felt him pull back before pushing into you in one fast, deep thrust, making you shiver. Your body was hardly used to feeling this full, but you wanted him so badly that it was humiliating, a pink blush tinting your nose. “You feel so good,” he muttered.

You pulled on his hair, and his head lifted from your neck. His lips were swollen from kissing you. Yours probably looked the same. But that didn’t matter right now as he held your gaze and began thrusting into you a little faster. His eyes were the color of melted gold, flecked with amber and brown, and you felt like you could stare into them forever while he fucked you. Laios lifted one of your legs higher on his waist, but his other hand stayed around your middle, keeping you nestled against him.

“Laios,” you whimpered, feeling him nudge your clit with each roll of his hips. Despite his desperation, his pace was tender and relaxed, making sure you were adjusting to his size. He knew he was big – clearly, it was something he’d been self-conscious about for a while – but the way you were looking at him right now … he’d never felt more at ease, more special. This was all he ever wanted: to be close to someone like this, to find intimacy with someone he had true feelings for. All the other times had been stepping stones, leading to this moment with you, where your warmth enveloped him so nicely and your gaze made him want to cum on the spot.

His hips began to move a little faster, pushing even deeper inside you, as his mouth swallowed your moans in a hungry kiss. Face going hot, you trembled, and his cock pulsed inside you with each pass. Your nails dragged down his shoulder blades, leaving marks for him to examine later, like a predator with its prey. Goosebumps raised on his skin, feeling himself get closer … and closer … and closer. If you kept digging your nails into him like that, he’d surely lose his grasp on reality. But you just felt so good, so warm, and he craved you. Craved you like you were his last meal.

“Laios,” you croaked out when his lips broke from yours, “Laios, are you close?”

He could hardly say anything else but, “Mm …” 

You thought you could get there by now from his tongue teasing you earlier, but you needed a little more friction. Bumping against your clit wasn’t enough. “Okay, okay,” you rambled, reaching down between your legs to touch yourself. “Just hold off for another minute. I’ll get there.”

Laios opened his eyes, realizing what you were doing, immediately envious of your own hand. “No, let me,” he murmured, voice like honey, and found your clit easily. “Then I can taste you on my fingers after.” His excitement made you laugh, which brought a smile to his own lips.

He shifted a little, pulling back so only his tip rested inside you, and fucked back into you at a different angle, one that brushed against your special spot. The stimulation of both your clit and g-spot had your back arching, whimpers slipping out of your lips like a chant.

“Is … this … better?” He asked, panting after each word.

Your voice was strained when you answered, “Y—Yes.”

His balls slapped against the underside of your ass, and he knew how close he was, but all he cared about at this moment was cumming together. He needed to see that look on your face when you reached your peak. He only got to see it a few times, when he lifted his eyes while tasting you, watching the way your lips parted and sweat ran down your forehead.

His fingers rubbed tight circles on your aching clit – knowing exactly what you liked – and you were close. So, so close already. Laios had a way of touching you that felt inquisitive, yet effortless. Like he wanted to learn which spots made you moan the loudest, while also already knowing without even touching you. You grew to like him not just because of his dopey grin, his protectiveness, or his positivity, but also for the way he was willing to learn with you, the way he needed you. And right now, he needed you to cum more than anything.

Tension coiled in your lower abdomen, making you gasp out, “Laios – fuck – Laios, I’m gonna –”

“I know, I know,” he rasped. His pace was nearing on brutal, his whole body shaking as he held off his release for you. “Together. We’ll – together.”

And then, your muscles tighten. You clenched around his cock, and it only took one more thrust against your g-spot to have you falling apart underneath him. You put a hand over your mouth as you cried out, careful of the rest of the party hearing. Your eyes rolled back, his fingers stroking your clit through it, and it all just felt too, too good. Your orgasm went on forever, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over you. As your walls spasmed around his cock, he groaned low, finally spilling into you. His hips stuttered. His mouth gasped for air against your lips, as he felt a ripple of relief from emptying himself inside you. He bit into your shoulder again to muffle his own noises. Your pussy convulsed, milking every last drop, and you were pretty sure you saw stars.

Once the aftershocks hit you both, he slumped against you, breathing in the scent of your hair again. Your fingers traced small circles onto his back muscles, your chest rising and falling with the fast beat of your heart. When his cock went soft inside you, his fingers finally left your clit and he brought them to his mouth. Your eyes were half-lidded as you watched him wrap his lips around his fingers and suck the juices off, moaning at the taste. He looked like an intricate painting; you couldn’t help but admire the sight.

His fingers left his mouth with a wet pop, and he whispered in a voice so soft you almost didn’t hear him, “You just taste so, so good.”

Laios kissed you again, slow and full of affection. You didn’t even care that he was still inside you; you could stay like this forever, pressed into his warm skin. Gods, you liked him so much that you immediately whimpered as his tongue slid into your mouth, and when he shuddered at your fingers on his back … you couldn’t believe you once questioned if he returned your feelings. You had both been so oblivious.

His mouth moved away from yours and he cupped your cheek. He took a moment to memorize the dusting of red across your face, the way your eyes hardly opened after sex, and then said, “Are you hungry? I think we both need a snack. It’s been a long night already.”

You giggled. “You had me at hungry.”

[pomegranatelifethis]

Hi!

Can I request a Yandere platonic batfam with a reader who is a massive bookworm, they didn’t appreciate them at first and neglected them until they turned Yandere for them

(Btw I didn’t see any rules for requesting on your blog so if there’s anything wrong with this request can you tell me or link your rules so I can improve them bc I love your writing)

I don't have any rules right now and I apologize for responding to your request late, I haven't been active for a long time 🙃

Overlooked Treasure

The Batfamily had always prided themselves on being tightly knit—at least, that’s what they claimed. But for you, the quietest member of the family, it was clear that their bond never quite reached you.

Living under the same roof as Gotham’s greatest heroes didn’t mean they actually noticed you. Bruce insisted he cared, but he was always too busy with crime-fighting. Dick smiled at you but never stayed long enough to ask how you were. Tim would sometimes forget you were even in the room. And Damian… well, Damian barely considered you worth his time.

So, you turned to books.

They became your escape, your comfort. Worlds made of ink and paper welcomed you more than the family who shared your home. Books never ignored you, never forgot you.

And the Batfamily? They never noticed.

Until they did.

Maybe it started when Bruce, during one of his late-night patrols at the Batcomputer, saw security footage of you reading alone in the manor’s dimly lit library. Or when Damian passed by the study at 3 a.m. and found you still awake, buried in yet another novel.

Maybe it was the guilt creeping into Tim’s chest when he realized he had no idea what kind of books you liked—despite you reading in front of him every day.

Whenever it started, things changed.

At first, it was subtle.

Dick began leaving new releases from your favorite series on your nightstand. Jason, somehow, got his hands on rare collector’s editions and casually dropped them off in your room. Tim started asking what you were reading—then, analyzing your choices like a puzzle he had to solve.

And Damian, who once dismissed you, now argued with you about literature, challenging your interpretations as if your mind was a battlefield he needed to conquer.

But then… things got strange.

One day, you told Bruce you were heading to your favorite bookstore. His response? A firm look and a simple, unsettling statement:

“Why would you leave? You have everything you need here.”

It wasn’t a suggestion. It was an order.

Dick’s once warm smiles now felt suffocating. Jason started investigating the bookstores you frequented, ensuring that “no one gave you the wrong kind of books.” Tim dissected your reading habits, not out of curiosity, but to understand how your mind worked—how to control it.

And Damian?

Damian, who once barely acknowledged you, now treated you like a mental challenge. Every discussion was a test, every debate a way to shape your thinking, to mold you into someone he approved of.

Then, one day, you realized—

To them, you weren’t just a person anymore.

You were a book.

Something to study, analyze, and—most terrifyingly—rewrite.

But you refused to let them write your ending.

[thatonebabybat]

Being Masc & Goth

This blog usually isn't fashion-focused, but I was thinking about alt fashion and how it's sometimes a struggle to figure out how to style things in a masc way if you're interested in darkalt fashion, but you don't want to go too casual or basic with it. So I thought I'd throw together some tips, link some DIYs, and maybe throw in a few moodboards. I want to preface this with one thing: You do NOT have to adhere to traditional gender roles. Fuck anyone who tells you that you do. If you're a guy and you want to get into alt fashion don't let anyone tell you that you can't pull off a skirt or a dress or a strappy top. Literally the whole point of being alt is Doing Whatever The Hell You Want Forever. However, not everyone feels comfortable in that (I made this post because I'm transmasc and sometimes the long gothic dresses make me dysphoric), and not everyone is safe to do that ( as much as it sucks ass, if you live in a conservative area sometimes it can be genuinely dangerous for guys to wear makeup and dresses in public, and your safety should always come first), so I thought I'd lay out some tips on how to dress alt and masc from my own experience. I'm still learning so feel free to leave your own advice in the replies or reblogs! General Styling Tips: - Jackets. Jackets, jackets, jackets. Something about a big jacket always seems to give an outfit a more masc energy, and adding a cool jacket to an outfit can be a great way to elevate it and add some extra visual interest. I like black blazers, leather jackets, and black denim jackets in particular, but vests (formal menswear ones or more casual denim or leather ones) can work well too, especially in hot weather. - Any basic black pair of jeans will look 100x more alt if you loosely attach some chains to the pockets or belt loops. Also, pants with wider legs tend to look more masc than tighter fits. not sure why. Slacks can also be a really good and underrated option. - If you want to find good headwear, cool sunglasses have never failed me. You may be able to take some inspiration from Ouji fashion as well, but that's just my personal taste. - If you have a basic piece around, you can add pins, patches, safety pins, etc for a more casual look, or if you're going for something more formal, trims and lace details and embroidery can really add interest and elegance to it. (if you can't sew, you can order iron-on embroidered patches online or find them in craft stores that'll do the trick just fine.) This can take your pair of slacks or plain black blazer and turn it into a piece of formal gothic menswear you can make a staple of your wardrobe. - Find inspiration in your favorite goth artists. There's a lot of really cool goth music out there and a lot of those bands get really innovative with their looks! Figure out what you like about their style and try incorporating a few things in, it's fun! - If you have an alt wardrobe already but it just seems like something's missing or it could use some interest, try switching up the silhouettes or adding an extra layer! Seriously, don't be scared of playing with textures and sleeve shapes! I see a lot of dudes who just wear a band tee and a pair of jeans all the time, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, that can be a great look! But I think a lot of dudes just genuinely think that that's their only option and that everything else just "wasn't made for them" and that makes me a little sad. shred up some shirts and layer them, wear some bell sleeves, throw some extra safety pins or studs on, have fun! No one said masc fashion couldn't be fun. Unisex/Masc DIY Videos I Found:

... And Some Inspiration!

[These are all goth music artists, I wrote the band/artist names in small text on the images that were not already watermarked for those who are curious]

[lucasandlily]

Rui x Reader who is really affectionate, but can't touch him because of The Curse.

A/N: I'm alive!! Rui my beautiful beautiful tragic boy. I've actually been having a lot of brainrot for this game, particularly an isekai AU that made me contemplate making RP blog (I love you guys btw. This is probably my first fandom where they're so active, I've been really well connected with this fandom somehow and it's so fun!!), so I figured I might as well be writing it down now. This is an idea I've had spinning in my head for a while, so it's VERY self-indulgent/insert, but enjoy!! AO3 link here

Rui's POV. Second-person pronoun "You" is used. Angst! But also fluff!! (825 words)

You’ve always been an affectionate little thing. It’s something Rui finds adorable about you, staying optimistic despite all that looms over you, not letting any of the ghouls he KNOWS can be more than a little much sometimes destroy your positive attitude. It’s as if you decided to be the light in a place that literally has dark in its name, and he lov admires you for that.

He can’t help but feel the bitter green of envy though, when he watches you ruffle Lyca’s hair after he whines at you for treating him like a dog. 

He pointedly turns away from the look Ed gives him over your head when you relax into his chest after he leans over your shoulder.  

He just laughs along at your drunken antics when you nuzzle into Haru’s hand, somehow even more touchy when your cheeks are flushed with alcohol. 

He tries not to remember the flash of hurt, confusion, the first time he’d backed away from your hand when all you wanted to do was give him a pat for a job well done. He doesn’t know if it hurt more when your face morphed into regretful understanding, or when you apologised and told him you’d try not to do it again. 

Rui tells himself it’s for the better when he notices you’ve been avoiding him for the past week. He’d have done the same to you anyway, if he realised his feelings were starting to fester. He tries to not let it get to him when he hears you enter the Obscuary mansion, only to quickly patter up the stairs without stopping by the bar first, as you would have done previously. 

Maybe before, he would have made it a little competition to see who could mess up the other’s hair more. He’d watched you run your fingers through Lyca’s after you’d tousled it out of place, anyway. Maybe in another life, you’d gently hold his face as you showered him with kisses. He’d do the same to you anyway, if he wasn’t forced to keep his hands to himself. 

If he didn’t notice you hold your hand back every time you saw his mask slip. If he didn’t see your hand stop short before pulling it back to tell him he had a bit of hair out of place. 

It’s all just part of the cursed life, he tells himself. He should be getting used to it by now, he sighs as he walks down the hall over to his room. 

Behind him, he hears the jingle of the bell you like to wear on your keychain. He turns at the sound of your quick steps approaching. 

“Rui! Ruiruiruiii!!” You call.

“Ah, there you are! Haha, I’m not going anywhere you know~ though I guess I don’t mind being chased?” He teases as you approach. 

You smile up at him brightly, “I have something to show you!” You tell him, he notices now that you have a hand behind your back. 

“Hm? Aw, did you get me a gift? And here I was thinking you were hiding from me!” He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth. Your smile falters a bit as you blink at his confession. 

But before he can backtrack with a “Just kidding!” your smile lightens again, eyes filling with some sort of resolve as you pull out… a glove on a stick? in your other hand.

He doesn’t pull away when he feels the simulation of a hand on his head. He can’t, when you look into his eyes with such unmistakable fondness. The awkward, stilted movements as you try to run the imitation hand through his hair communicates how long you’ve wanted to do this, and the tears that well up in his eyes betray how much he’s needed it. 

He feels the cloth soak up the tears when you move the glove down to hold his face. It feels soft under his skin, and he can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. 

“How long did it take you to make this?” He asks as you let him lace his fingers with your hand extension. He squeezes the plush hand, feeling the soft give before it reaches the stick inside, inspecting where the glove and stick are attached. 

“Um! A week? It took a bit of experimenting to get it to stay on… And they don’t really sell gloves on campus either.” 

Your eyes crinkle when you look at him, the corners of your lips pull up triumphantly when he lets go of the hand to let you pat his head again. 

“You deserve at least this much,” you tell him. “I know it’s not really the same or anything, but I don’t wanna leave you out, y’know?” 

“It was worth it though, if it made you happy.” You look into his eyes as you say this, and he can’t help but believe you.

Reblogs and Comments are appreciated! I love you (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

[jasntodds]

Burial Plot [J.T.]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Summary: Jason thinks back on memories of your relationship

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst, mentions of injuries, self-deprecating thoughts (jason), mentions of previous homelessness, mention of addiction (not jason or the reader), mentions of blood, character death, open ending

Words: 8,451

A/n: Dayseeker dropped Replica and Burial Plot really did something for me (again). If you wanna be tagged in my fics, you can click the link below, send me an ask/comment, or follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

masterlist | request info | tag list

The cold Gotham breeze nips at Jason’s cheeks as his hands grip the ledge of the roof so hard the solid concrete almost wants to collapse at his feet. The streets are busy below him, the streetlights and buildings illuminating the otherwise dark and gloomy city. Something here manifests and metastasizes into something cruel and unusual, a type of suffering that almost brings the city pure and unfiltered joy. It’s something about this city that feels unbearably cruel sometimes.

Gotham always felt like it was filled of poison with no antidote so maybe that’s why Jason always managed to find himself back in the dreary city.

It’s how he always saw himself, drenched in poison, ruining everything around him even when he desperately tries not to. It’s as if he was cursed from the very beginning and the more he tries the more he messes up. Even coming back from the dead didn’t seem right since even Bruce wanted nothing to do with him. It took him so long to even get into the family’s good graces again because even when he would try his hardest, it always blew up in his face. So, to Jason, there had to be something wrong with him.

But, then, there was you.

Jason remembers the first time you had a proper conversation. You'd met a handful of times prior but never really talked past the usual pleasantries. Dick had asked for your help on a mission even when Jason insisted they had enough help with the other bats and a few of their tag-a-longs. But, Dick insisted.

----

“Red Hood.” You’d snickered through your mask as you watched Jason on his stomach watching the building in front of you through binoculars.

“Something funny?” Jason quipped back with a gentle force of annoyance.

He could do this himself. He did not need to be teamed up with anyone and he had no clue why of all people, he was teamed up with you. You didn't even know each other. At least Jason knew the other bats and their ability and capabilities. You were an unknown factor in this even if he trusted Dick's opinion on you. He knew he could do this himself...in peace and quiet.

“Irony.” You’d stated back. “Red Hood. Joker. Boom.” You shrugged dramatically, earning a glance from Jason. You couldn’t see it through the helmet, but if looks could kill, you’d have been dead on the spot. “It’s not a very threatening name.” Your voice was nonchalant it made Jason want to groan for ten minutes.

“Excuse me?” Jason shook his head.

“I mean…Red Hood." You stated again, just as casually as before. "Not very threatening for a guy who decapitates people and blows people up.”

Jason moved the binoculars from the helmet and looked back at you. “Okay, so what would you have suggested then, huh?” Jason questioned and he’d have been lying if he said he wasn’t somehow both annoyed to hell and back and also, a bit intrigued about where you’d go with this as you knew anything at all about him.

“I think it would have been hilarious if you kept the Robin mantle actually.” Your voice had been airy and filled with amusement as a smile reached your eyes.

Jason had to bite back his own snicker. “Don’t think anyone would else would have.”

“Well, that’s cause they have shit senses of humor. I mean if I hear Dick say one more pun tonight, I think I’ll have an aneurism.”

“Yeah.” Jason lets out a chuckle this time and you felt as though you had won something from it. “His jokes are the fucking worst.” Jason almost groans through the helmet. “But yours aren’t much better, princess.” Jason stated before picking up the binoculars again to go back to watching the building.

A genuine smile came over your features. “I know.”

Jason's eyes had softened when he’d glanced back over at you. Something about how you held yourself during the stakeout, the ease of the conversation and you bringing up his death. He knew your fighting style, knew about your powers. He knew what you could do and how well off you were and how you were able to perfectly handle yourself. But, the ease of you held yourself on that rooftop was as if everything else were going to be easy for you even if it wasn’t. It was interesting and a bit fun.

“How’d Dick rope you into this anyway?” Jason had asked as he kept his eyes on the building.

“I had nothing else to do.” You laughed softly.

It was true. You didn't and Dick asked. His jokes might be bad but he was always one of your best friends so you'd always help when he asked. But, it wasn't all that big of an ask when Dick mentioned Jason would be helping, too. Maybe you had asked to be teamed with him instead of Steph or Tim this time.

“How about you? Dick said you don’t do the team thing very often.” You asked.

“Had nothing else going on.” Jason had chuckled softly. “If Dick was asking me and everyone else, I felt like I had to help." Jason stated even if he didn't really mind helping out his siblings.

“That’s nice of you.” You’d said.

“It’s nothing.” Jason keeps his eyes on the building you were supposed to be watching.

It’d be a lie if you said you weren’t the least bit intrigued by your friend’s brother. Dick talked about him often enough. You knew stories about The Red Hood. Jason Todd had almost seemed interesting from your perspective. The misfit son who gets brutally murdered and comes back to be, somehow, more of the misfit troublemaker that pisses everyone off. Hero turned anti-hero (you’d refused to call him a villain). It was tragic but he still comes back and instead of deciding to make innocent people suffer like most other people would do if they were him, he decided to just do something about it. Maybe his methods are a bit extreme and maybe he’s a bit of an asshole, but he’s doing something for the greater good. That’s not all bad and you’d always thought that was still better than him doing worse or doing nothing. You’d always thought that made him more interesting, more admirable.

And, maybe it doesn’t hurt that he’s kind of pretty with the blue eyes and white streak of contrast amongst the rest of his black hair.

“So…” You cleared your throat.

Jason looked back at you and then back to the building. “What?”

“Are you always so broody?” You asked bluntly as you moved your eyes back to him.

“I’m not broody.” Jason snapped. He was not broody, he was just busy.

“Kind of are.” You’d smiled with confidence.

“We’re supposed—“

“Blah blah blah." You waved him off because you knew exactly what he was going to say. "I know. We are. We can do the stakeout and get to know each other.”

You were not bad company. But, you were blunt and talkative. Jason didn't really know what to make of it, really. This small conversation had shown him that you would ask and say whatever crossed your mind and he has learned that is not always a good thing. Though, your bluntness and how casual you were about the whole thing was a bit intriguing. This was a job, however, and Jason did not come to make friends with Dick's friend.

“Who the hell said I wanted to get to know you?” Jason had snarked back.

“Ouch.” You huffed as you started feeling a little disheartened. “That was mean.” Your nose had scrunched under your mask.

“Look, princess, we’re on a job. That’s all it is. Don’t take it personally.” Jason shook his head and he didn't intend to hurt your feelings but this was supposed to just be a job.

“You can't me princess and one minute it sounds fine but condescending the next. That’s weird. And the job doesn't have to be boring. Doesn’t silence ever bother you?” You’d asked and it was that question that always irked him.

It’s silent a lot for him. He’s used to it but silence is still deafening. Since getting into the good graces with the family finally, it hadn't been as bad. There was usually someone calling him or something he needed to tell one of them. But, silence can eat at him still. It bothered him, just not on a mission or a job. Silence there was always fine though he didn't think that was entirely the point of your question.

“I’m sorry.” Jason muttered. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. Just wanna get this shit done.” He hadn’t looked back at you once.

You were still intrigued by him. You still wanted to get to know him even if he didn't want to get to know you yet. It wasn't some secret Jason was guarded. That was fine. It didn't really bother you. So, maybe it was dumb then but you decided to just go for it.

“Wanna grab something to eat after then?” You asked bluntly, getting Jason’s attention.

“What?” Jason asked quickly as he turned his head to look at you again.

“Like food?” You quipped. “You and me. Food, get to know each other.” Your voice had sounded a little more nervous this time.

"You actually want to get to know me?" Jason questioned. "Thought you were making conversation."

"Well..." You shrugged softly. "Yeah, conversation but I also want to get to know you. You seem fun." You'd managed to pull off a cheeky smile with your last sentence.

Jason had actually laughed. “I seem fun?”

“Are you an owl?” You quipped back as you matched his laughter. “Yeah, Red Hood seems like he’d be fun." You urged. "Get food with me.” You shrugged softly as hope echoed into your eyes.

Jason almost said no. Lately, he regrets not saying no. He should have. He swears left and right, up and down, every piece of him should have just said no. But, he thought you were pretty and funny and interesting. It’d been a while since Jason just got to know someone. He thought it would have been nice and you had so much hope in your eyes, he wasn't sure he could have mustered up a no if he really tried. There was something about you that made him interested enough to just get food. That would be all it would be. Just food. A no was never going to be an answer.

“Fine but I pick the place.” Jason stated before he looked back at the building.

You’d beamed from under the mask, a rush of heat coming to your cheeks. “Okay, Red.” You nearly laughed. “I trust you.”

----

Jason's legs are trembling and it's getting harder to breathe. It is as if his own memories are strangling him from the inside out, a desperate attempt to suck the life out of him one last time. He used to look at that night with a sense of fondness, almost nostalgia because of how far the two of you had come in three years. But, now it's just tainted memories haunted by the vision of you and the false concept of Jason Todd being allowed to be happy.

He remembers so vividly you telling him you trusted him as if it were somehow something so easy for you. You trusted him and you barely knew him. Jason knew then Dick likely told you some stuff about him, Steph, too probably. Maybe the other bats if you ever asked but under no circumstances should you have just so blindly trusted him after meeting him a handful of times, this having been one of the only actual conversations you had. But you did and something about it made Jason both want to jump off the roof and fall right onto the concrete below him and make his heart melt from his chest.

He thinks about it for just that single second, it was nice. It was a silly thought, he swears it was. No one should trust him because people trust him and then they get hurt, right? That’s how the story goes. In one way or another, they get hurt. Maybe it’s Jason doing the hurting in his typical self-destruction way or it’s worse. But, they get hurt. You trusted him and he thinks that’s the exact moment he should have evacuated. That night changed everything because he didn’t. He didn’t evacuate like he had all but been trained to do. He went to get food with you.

----

“So, tell me about you, Jason Todd.” You had grinned wickedly at him as you pointed a limp french fry at him from across the booth.

Jason shook his head as he leaned back. “Like what?”

“Dunno.” You shrugged and the grin never left your face. “What do you like to do for fun?” You asked so sincerely Jason had burst into a fit of laughter.

It echoes through the small diner. Booms off the booth and the glasses. You’d thought it was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard. His nose had scrunched and his head tilted back. The laugh was hearty and somehow soft. It fit him so well and he seemed so genuinely happy.

“What I do for fun? That’s what you want to know?” Jason quipped back as he caught his breath.

“I’m sorry that question wasn’t up to your standards?” You had laughed back and Jason felt his heart skip a single beat.

“No, not that. Of all things you could ask though, that’s what you want to know?” Jason asked.

“Well, yeah.” You’d answered easily. “I know what you do for a living. So, what do you like to do when you’re not doing that?”

There was something so honest and sincere about how you’d asked, Jason almost felt comfortable laying it out. His interests are his and in a way, he always likes keeping them a little close to his chest. Some things he doesn’t tell everyone but others…it’s okay that they know but they’re his. But you were eating your fries, just waiting, filled with hope.

“I like to read.” Jason stated simply as he plucked one of his fries from his plate.

“Oh! Like what?” You asked with eyes wide as you put an elbow on the table to lean in. Dick said Jason was guarded so you didn’t think you’d get too much out of him tonight but you were so relieved you got something from him.

Maybe you’d had a crush on him from a distance for a while.

“Uh..” Jason offered an awkward chuckle. “Like Jane Austen.” Jason shrugged. “Mary Shelley.”

You shook your head in surprise. “Not what I expected.”

“Yeah, yeah--” Jason had started to wave you off.

“No, I mean, I dunno. Thought it’d be like…Godfather-type books. Or something.” You were the one who offered an awkward chuckle that time. “I love Frankenstein.” You'd said it softly with a tender smile and Jason felt relieved.

Jason had asked you what it was about Frankenstein you liked so much and you just went on a whole ramble about it. Jason hung onto every word as if your voice was the sound of his favorite song played on repeat. He just...listened and something about the way he smiled made your heart jump and spin. You may not have had the excessive amount of trauma Jason did but...there was always something that felt comforting when someone let you ramble and he did. Not once did he seem bored or disinterested and then you got to watch his face light up when you asked him why he liked Jane Austen and what his favorites were.

It was Jason's turn to ramble and it wasn't much at first but the more he got going, it was like the more excited about it he got. His face lit up like a Christmas tree and he got a little more dramatic and he relaxed a little in his seat. Jason didn't get a lot of chances to really ramble about his interests, not like this. But, you gave him that in the little diner booth and it felt comforting. It felt nice. It was fun and he'd have been lying if he said he didn't really enjoy it. And the more you asked about his interests and participated in conversation, the more comfortable he felt.

He was still guarded but you shared some interests so it felt easier to let the conversation go where it wanted, bouncing back and forth between some of both of your favorites and hobbies. It felt good to let go for a few hours. You wanted to get to know him and as it would have turned out, he was really enjoying getting to know you, too.

“What else do you do for fun?” Jason asked as he rested his elbow on the table, now a few hours into this getting to know each other thing.

“Ask broody men out to get food.” You’d laughed that was more of a snicker as if you were proud of yourself for the comment and it got Jason to chuckle right back.

“Oh, so I’m just a meal ticket tonight?!” Jason had asked with sarcasm.

“And a conversation!” You had defended, the both of you laughing.

“I am so hurt.” Jason had said it dramatically, easily.

“Oh, I am so sorry.” Your eyes had widened with sarcasm. “How will you ever recover?” You faked a whine, a hand over your heart and then Jason gained this smirk.

Jason knew it was getting to be early in the morning and you'd have to end this whole thing soon but that did not mean he didn't want to continue getting to know you. You were right. This was fun and maybe he liked your company after all. He liked how easy you made this whole thing seem. No part of him really wanted this to end so he decided to go for it, just as you did.

“What are you doing Thursday?” Jason asked bluntly.

It caught you off guard and it took everything in you not to burst at the seams. You hoped Jason didn’t notice.

He did.

“Uh…” You stuttered with a gushy smile. “Nothing, I don’t think.” You bit the inside of your cheek to try to calm down the smile while you failed miserably. “What’d you have in mind?”

----

Tears are hot on Jason’s cheeks as he remembers that night as if it had just happened. His teeth are clenched so hard they might just shatter right through his gums. His breathing is quick and everything starts to ache.

You had been so happy that he asked you to do something with him, he never thought twice about taking it back. The thought could have crept up on him and he would have shoved it into the darkest corner of his mind because the idea of disappointing you nearly shattered him. He didn’t even know you but there was hope and kindness and sarcasm and you were funny. You didn’t care. You told him Red Hood was not scary. You looked at him with kindness and hope, two things most people do not look at him with and he felt important for those four hours in that booth with you. So, he decided to take that risk.

Risks are a part of his daily life. They are usually calculated and you had told him they were not always calculated in a way that was really all too beneficial to him. The odds were never on his side very often. But that’s just part of the job, something you did understand. Jason was used to risk. His whole life had been one risk after the other just to survive. He was good at taking risks and showing them he didn’t care. This was a risk he wishes he never took though. Showing you these parts of himself and finally letting his guard down. He regrets that risk because he had just done what he always does and wouldn’t have caved about it, none of this would have happened because you would have given up. He bites his tongue as he remembers the exact moment he wanted to flee and decided not to.

----

You were on a rooftop in Crime Alley, not too high up and below you, Jason was kneeling in front of a few kids. You were not spying on him. You were supposed to meet up together while you were in Gotham, this was the spot but apparently, the kids had other ideas. He was just kneeling down to their level, no helmet and a smile beaming back at them. The two kids who couldn’t have been older than seven, looked at him like he was their hero. Jason was not the scary Red Hood who blows people up with c4 or the guy who will decapitate people to get what he wants from other people or the guy who might as well be a sharpshooter and is not afraid to display it. They do not look at him like a weapon. They look at him like he will protect them and he is so kind.

You’d been on a few dates over the last few months, nothing too serious even if neither of you were looking or talking to anyone else. It was nothing too serious even if you both talked nearly nonstop and maybe you couldn’t stop thinking about each other. But, it’d only been a few dates and you didn’t know each other too well yet and that was okay. But, something you had learned was that Jason is very kind. He is a huge asshole but he is so kind. Innocent people, kids, he is nice to them, far nicer than most people are. Jason Todd can and will kill people but he is not as ruthless and calloused as other people think he is and maybe have convinced him he is. So you had sat on that rooftop and watched him with those kids.

He laughed at what you would only assume were bad jokes and Jason never let the smile fall from his lips. It was just the two kids at first then there were five and then ten. He somehow had gathered a group of kids who were just interested in meeting the Red Hood. One of them had a scraped knee so you watched as Jason pulled out a bandaid from his tactical belt. You couldn’t make it out but you did see it was purple and black. He spent an hour just entertaining these kids before they finally decided to disburse.

“Kids, huh?” You had asked once your feet were on solid ground.

Jason quickly turned around, a quirked brow raised as he looked to the roof. “How long were you watching me?”

“Well, I’m never late so…” Your mask covered your smile but he could tell by the way you looked down and the crinkles by your eyes you were smiling. “You’re different with them.” You stated, blunt as always.

“Well, they’re kids so….” Jason said, unsure what your point would have been.

You nodded. “Yeah, I mean…kids…the, uh, the homeless, sex workers, addicts. You're different. You’re different with people here.” You pointed it out because you'd noticed before.

This was your third time in Crime Alley with Jason and he was always different here. It was always rooted in an understanding and a genuine kindness and empathy for things people have dealt with. He never treated someone differently because of their circumstances and instead, he fought for them. You'd seen your fair share of people being cruel to kids and the homeless, sex workers, addicts, the poor. Jason just isn't. Jason gave you a little more faith in humanity.

Meanwhile, Jason could never wrap his head around your bluntness. You never cared how something sounded or how it came off. You just said what you were thinking. That scared him. And made him feel at ease. He knew he would never have to question your intentions but he also had absolutely no idea what you were thinking.

“Grew up here.” Jason pulled in a breath as he rested the helmet on his hip. “I know what it's like.” Jason admitted and it was a small sliver of information he gave up willingly.

You had nodded softly. “Yeah, uh…Dick said you grew up here. Shit was hard for you until Bruce caught you.”

Jason had let out this sort of scoff that was almost a chuckle as he looked up to the sky and then the right. You couldn't tell if it was something bitter in him that was turning or something pleasant. You'd have put your bet on something bitter if he'd asked.

“Yeah, something like that.” Jason looked back to you, shifting his weight.

Dick had warned you to be careful. It was not to be mean towards Jason by any means. It was more because Dick knew Jason tended to push and self-sabotage things. He wanted you not to pry too much too quick. You knew you’d likely have to ask him direct questions if there were things you wanted to know but you knew not to pry too much. You didn’t want to scare him off but it’s been a few months and a few dates and you were curious about it. You wanted to know what made Jason Todd, Jason Todd.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” You asked and you were cautious, something you never really were when asking him things.

Jason had hesitated for a second. It was not a secret. He just prefers to not talk about himself and there was a little bit of something bitter thinking about all of it. Thinking about his life in Crime Alley brings back to him meeting Bruce and then dying. It brings him back to coming back and the way Bruce looked at him like he were a monster before throwing a baterang at his neck. It was the way Jason couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t just forgive each other. It brings back bitterness and pain he can’t quite explain. But, it wasn’t all bad and if he were being really honest, he kind of really liked you. Maybe he could tell you some things about it. You'd yet to give him any reason to not tell you so he decided to take that risk and let you into a small part of his world.

“What’d ya wanna know?” Jason asked before he put the helmet back on.

“Uh…” You weren’t sure if he’d be okay to talk about it so you were unprepared. “Whatever you wanna tell me.” You stated simply as you closed the distance between you.

“Well,” Jason cleared his throat. “It wasn’t all bad.” Jason managed a chuckle before he started telling you things about growing up here and things about his parents, helping you better understand him as a person while also allowing Jason’s trust in you to grow.

----

He stands on this rooftop, desperately begging to go back in time and take the risk back. He wants to fall back to three years ago and rip that night from the both of you. You will be disappointed but that is significantly better than this. Jason swears it is better than this. He can not have you. That is fine. You will do better, you will find better, you always deserved better. He wants to go back and take everything back.

His hands are gripping the cement as if that’ll send him into the past and it only makes his chest feel like it might split open and spill his heart out. He'd dig his own hand into his ribcage and rip his heart from his chest if it would fix any of this. Jason's hands shake with his grip and he would do anything, sacrifice anything he could just to go back. He wants to take it all back even if it’ll hurt you because he remembers that time you told him you had a crush on him.

----

“How long?!” Jason had scrunched his face, confused and insane amused.

“Like a year.” It was more of an awkward giggle that you let out. “I don’t know!” You threw your arm out dramatically, almost regretting telling him. You knew he would be teasing you forever over it now.

“You’ve liked me for a year?” Jason chuckled. “Fucking why? You didn’t even know me!” Jason repositioned on the couch, resting his arm on the back of the couch as he faced you.

“That was part of the fun!” Your eyes had widened as you defended yourself. “I don’t know. Something about the white streak of hair and broad shoulders and…” You pulled in a breath as you shook your head at him, more to try and tease him. “I don’t know. I thought you seemed interesting.”

Dick introduced you at one of the Wayne party things they had at the manor. You were so nervous you could have died right then and there. It really was something about the white streak of hair and the broad shoulders, the thick thighs, and the way his eyes were so damn pretty you could have combusted. His canines were a bit sharp so it looked like he had tiny fangs when the sun hit them just right. Jason didn’t say too much but you thought he was pretty. And you caught glimpses of him throughout the day, laughing with his siblings and rolling his eyes at Bruce and helping Alfred with some of the food. He was big and tall and a little intimidating but not when he was just existing with his family and you found that interesting. The crush went from there.

“Was this before or after Dick told you about me?" Jason had raised a brow, still trying to fathom why you were so interested in him without having had a single conversation.

"After." You answered simply. "He told me all of your stories pretty early on into the friendship. Got to hear all about the kids of Bruce Wayne and company." You stated with a soft smile.

"Why then?" It was a genuine question he had. "And why didn't you say anything for a year?" Jason probably wouldn't have said anything at all if it were him but he's surprised you waited so long since you never seemed to hide any of your emotions.

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it." You laughed softly, looking down for a second before looking back to him. "I didn't see you often, thought maybe it'd fade but it did not." You scrunched your nose as your smile grew. "But, uh, I don't know. Dick told me you died and how and…that you guys didn’t get along to put it lightly…since you came back. At first. You were all good then now but it took awhile. But then I meet you and…” You shook your head. “You didn’t seem…mean or…threatening. I don’t know.” You could feel the heat start to burn your cheeks.

You had only heard the story from Dick's point of view at that time. You've since gotten Jason's side but only hearing Dick's was different. There was anger and a sense of betrayal even if it wasn't rightfully placed. It was as if Jason being brought back brought back all of their guilt and grief, too but they never had any way to deal with it. They didn't know where to put it so they put it on the person that caused it, in a roundabout way. It wasn't right and it wasn't right what Jason was doing either. It was just a mess of miscommunication and the inability to move on. Dick spoke fondly of Jason by the time you met, but he told you about all of it so despite his kind words about Jason, you thought maybe he'd be a bit mean and cold and broody and intimidating. But he was not. He was warm and kind and he looked happy. You found it interesting that after everything, Jason was not a cold and cruel person.

“Hey, you can’t go around saying I’m not threatening.” Jason had given you this teasing grin. “You’ll ruin my rep.”

You let out a snort. “Didn’t you just save like a litter of kittens from a car, gave the driver the dirtiest look I had ever seen, and then wouldn’t leave the shelter until they told you they would be fine? Did you not just do that two days ago? Did you not call today to check on them?”

“I’m sorry, should I have let that dickhead hit the kittens?!” Jason asked in horror.

“No!” You let out this laugh that Jason nearly melted into. “I’m just saying, it is not me saying you aren’t threatening. It is going to be those kittens. They’re gonna tell all the other kittens and they’re gonna show up here and then you’re gonna have beef with Selina. I don’t think that’s something you want.” You shrugged casually, trying to withhold your own laugh.

Jason’s booming laugh consumed his entire apartment. “I did not realize saving those kittens would have such a butterfly effect on my relationship with Selina.”

“Shut up!” You groaned as you tossed your head back.

“Okay can we go back to you having a massive crush on me for a year?” Jason eyed you with big doe eyes, mocking you.

“I hate you.” You deadpanned.

“No, you don’t.” Jason pulled in a breath as he gained a giant smile. “Because of your crush on me.” He batted his eyes at you and you wanted to kiss the growing smirk right off of his lips.

“Yeah, I hate you actually. You suck.” You crossed your arms and gave him a fake pout. “My feelings are hurt and everything!”

Jason chuckled before he grabbed your hand from your arm. “I hurt your feelings?” Jason questioned with disbelief, knowing damn well he did not.

“Yes, you did.” You struggled desperately not to break into a fit of laughter as Jason pulled you into his lap.

“You look really hurt.” Jason nodded his head sarcastically, his eyes looking up at you and you thought you'd melt into him.

“I am!” You said it dramatically as a laugh slipped from your lips.

“Right.” Jason nodded his head, his hands coming to your hips. “I am so sorry, could you ever think to forgive me?” Jason questioned with so much sarcasm, you thought he’d start to lose his composure.

“I don’t know.” You answered with a dramatic pout.

Jason let out a laugh. “Your big ole crush on me won’t let you stay mad at me.” Jason leaned toward you, his eyes dodging to your lips.

“You are insufferable.” You stated quietly.

“Sure.” Jason muttered before his hand came to your cheek and pulled you in for a kiss. “So insufferable.” Jason muttered against your lips.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” You rolled your eyes and Jason did not waste a single second more to complete the request.

----

Jason remembers how happy it all was. You were like this beam of light in his life and for once, it didn’t seem so damn grim. Half the time, he didn’t care if he came home or not. But then you started dating and he fell so hard for you that he didn’t think he’d ever stop falling. And suddenly, there was this big reason to come home every night. The loss of him for you would hurt, even if it were momentary. And…he liked being able to come home to you on weekends when you'd stay in Gotham. He liked having someone to come home to. He liked being happy and having a reason to be happy.

Half that time he didn’t care if he came home or not and that caused its fair share of fights. Jason's breath shakes in the cold breeze as his chin quivers, remembering the fights you'd have about it. There were never many because you just didn't fight. Jason would sometimes push and pull, try to sabotage things and you always just called him on his shit, rarely ever even raising your voice at him. But, these fights happened because you cared about him and Jason didn't know what he was supposed to do with that. He was never entirely sure if he could carry it even though you became one of the most important people in his life. He thought you'd leave, maybe, until the last time you fought about it. As tears spill from his eyes, he remembers the last fight you ever had about him being careful.

----

“Why the fuck are you mad now?” Jason groaned from the bathroom as he cleaned up the first aid supplies.

“I don’t fucking know, Jay. Why the fuck would I be mad?!” You yelled back, storming through his apartment. Everything felt too tight, too hard, too much.

“If I knew, I wouldn’t have fucking asked!” Jason yelled back as he followed you into the living room.

You didn’t normally fight and if you did, it was small stuff. Not this. This felt big. It had scared him because as much as he loved to push, he didn't want to lose you. It was never about him, it was always about you deserving better than him or deserving more. But, he almost felt paralyzed at the thought this fight wasn't going to be like the others. He thought you'd finally had it.

“Maybe that’s the problem.” It was more a mutter but Jason was close enough to you not that he heard it.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Jason questioned and he could feel his heart breaking into pieces through his throat.

“Maybe you should fucking know why I’m pissed. But you don’t. Did you ever consider that is the problem, Jay?”

It was not that you were even mad. It was that you were worried about him. You'd just cleaned up a few really nasty cuts again and that was fine. You didn't mind. He always did it for you, too. It was part of the job. It was how frequent it happen and how nonchalant he always was about the whole damn thing. It terrified you and you'd told him over and over. He was normally a good listener but...not when it came to this. And it hurt.

“You were fine earlier! Now you’re not?!” Jason looked to the ceiling in frustration. “I am not a damn mind reader!”

You nearly pulled your hair out. “I am not asking to be a mind reader!” You screamed back at him as tears burned your eyes. “I am asking you to fucking listen to me!”

“I do listen--”

“No! I get it.” You caved, bringing your voice back down but it is far more in frustration. “I get what you do. I am not asking you to give it up. I am asking you to be careful.” The last few words had come out as a plea and the fury and annoyance Jason had disappeared.

“That’s just part of the job.” Jason tried to defend softly this time.

“We both know you can be more careful, Jay.” You said it so candidly that Jason felt guilty for not trying harder. You were right. “Uh…I, uh, I had a nightmare a few nights ago.” You confessed. “And, uh, it was about you. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since because it felt really real. And then today…it just…” You shook your head. “This has been…the best year of my life.” You admitted as your chin started to wrinkle and your bottom lip quivered. “Because of you so I think…about losing you and I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Jason almost felt frozen because he couldn't tell where this was going to go and he wasn’t sure where he wanted it to go. The only thing he did know was that he didn't want you worrying so much about him and he felt guilty for putting it on you.

“I know it’s part of the job.” You nodded easily. “I know. I do it, too. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.” You admitted. “And I just…I wish you would be a little bit more careful because I love you.”

Everything froze for Jason. The idea of being loved is almost something he had chased for so long, he never thought he’d get it. He always chased it only to bite it when it comes close to him. It’s scary. The idea of someone loving him and him loving someone else. What if he fucks it up like he’s done to everything else? He couldn't believe he hadn’t fucked this up yet. You’ve clocked him self-sabotaging a few times, he hadn’t in a while but you caught it. You swore he never needed to because you liked him for him. You didn’t care about the dark and scary shit inside his head or the things he’d done. That never mattered to you because he is kind and a good person. He never could believe it but he chose to trust you anyway. And now he was standing here and he had no idea what to do because he could run but the idea of that made him want to burn through the floor.

“What?” Jason finally got out.

“I love you.” You said it again, honestly. It wasn't really how you wanted to tell him. You knew you would eventually but Jason can be a little skittish so you only wanted to do it when you thought he was ready to hear it. You were not sure if he was ready but you couldn't hide it from him anymore. “It’s okay if you don’t feel that way.” You nodded your head even if you didn’t think that was the problem. “Or if you’re unsure if you can say it. I just…I wanted to tell you so maybe…” You had let out a breath. “You’ll know why I worry and I want you to be more careful. I know that…this might not go the way we want in the end but…I just want you to try.”

He thought he didn’t deserve you. He did not deserve that sort of kindness or care or worry but you offered it so easily. You offered it to him as if it was the same as taking a breath. You offered an understanding with it. It’s something even Jason didn’t think about much, you being the one that didn’t make it home. He pushed it away because he felt like he might fall into the center of the earth if that would happen. It would be earth-shattering to him if it were you. You were at least careful when you would go on patrol and he did think that would help, to know you tried to come home to him. It is not fair to not offer you the same deal.

Jason closed the distance between you and you didn’t think he’d say it back which was okay. It would hurt but he had told you so much. Ever since that night months ago when you asked about his childhood, he had told you so much. You knew about being homeless and the things he has witnessed even as a child. You knew. You knew the horrors he had encountered through his life and if it were you, you weren't so sure you would offer those words. But just because he may not be able to say them, did not mean he did not deserve to know how you felt. That did not mean he did not deserve to know people loved him and they wanted him to stay alive. It would hurt but you thought it’d be fine because you knew he loved you.

“I’m sorry, princess.” Jason stated, his voice rough and honest as a hand came to your cheek. His thumb rubbed over your cheek as you nodded against him. “I’ll be careful.” He stated. “I didn’t know.” He admitted.

“I know.” You started back, eyes locked on his. They were red and his eyes were a deep shade of blue like he was on the verge of bursting into tears. “That’s why I told you.”

“Promise, I’ll be more careful out there.” Jason nodded down at you. “I, uh…” Jason pulled in a breath. “I love you, too.” He said carefully but honestly as a gentle smile came to your face.

“Was hoping you did.” You nodded back at him. “I’m sorry for getting so mad. Just worry.”

“It’s okay.” Jason pulled you into him, his arms engulfing you. “I know you worry. I’m sorry for yelling back.” Jason apologized, placing a kiss to your head.

“Can we just get takeout?” You let out a soft laugh, looking up to him. “We can eat and watch some bad reality TV.”

Jason let out a laugh. “What food were you feeling?”

----

A sob rips through Jason’s throat, clawing its way into the cold of Gotham’s air. His legs give out before he can catch a breath and he collapses onto the pavement of the roof. It all hurts. Every piece of his body is aching and crashing like it never should have made it this far. His arms and legs shake as he turns to rest his back against the ledge. He pulls his legs to his chest as his face becomes soaked in his own tears. His lungs start to burn with every sob as he can’t get a full breath in. The world around him starts to spin and it all hurts. Why does it have to hurt so much? He loves you and he will always love you and it will always be painful.

----

Lightning ripped through the sky and you were handling yourself as you always did. You were good on your own. But that night, five days ago, was different. It was different because it was not some big bad that would be the cause. All of that was going so well. It was a simple mistake. Wrong timing. An accident.

Jason had been fighting one of the goons, a nasty fistfight. The goon had some sort of training. Jason was confident, he’d beat him he put up a hell of a fight. It was a hell of a fight until it turned more brutal, getting more physical with punches and kicks, the goon picking Jason up and trying to throw him across the lot. It was getting messy while you were dealing with one of the metas. You were throwing lightning bolts as fast as you could manage while minding where Jason was. It should have been fine because you’d done this before. But, Jason tripped.

He tripped over something left on the ground and that gave the goon enough of a gap to grab him. When he was grabbed, Jason was thrown right into a pile of glass and metal just as you were throwing a lightning bolt in that direction at the meta. You missed Jason but you hit the reflective metals, sending the bolt back to you.

You went down immediately and Jason stopped breathing. The goon and meta took off while Jason was back on his feet, rushing over to you. Panic had flooded his body in that exact instant. You went down hard and the lightning threw you back. He knew.

He pulled your body into his lap, checking for a pulse and trying to feel if you were breathing only to find nothing. His hands were shaking so bad he could barely hold you in his lap.

He called your name with a tremble of his voice. “Come on, you gotta wake up.” He said it quietly, trying to keep himself together, desperately still trying to find a pulse. “Wake up.” He said it more sternly that time as he shook your head lightly.

You were lifeless in his lap and he was at a loss. What is he supposed to do?!

He moved to put your back on the ground and he started CPR before he used the comms to get ahold of Oracle. He told her what happened as he performed CPR, desperate to bring you back to him. You had to come back, right? It was your own lightning bolt. How can you be killed by your own powers? That sounds like such a rip-off. And Jason bit his sobs back because it shouldn’t have been you. It couldn't be you. It was supposed to be him because he needed to be more careful. He didn’t have powers. He already died before. He put a bomb in his helmet. It was supposed to be him to go first but you were not breathing.

You wouldn't breathe.

He tried and he tried until the other bats started showing to offer some help. He tried and tried and tried and it wasn’t good enough because the lightning was too much and he was clumsy. He fucking tripped and he slipped and that was it. It led you to getting hurt. It led you to getting killed. It is all his fault.

----

Jason’s hands cover his face as he keeps sobbing, nausea filling his stomach. His stomach is in agonizing pain and he can’t bear to even attempt to pull himself together. What is he supposed to do? It’s his fault. He can never forgive himself for it and he knows it. You deserved better and he should have just said no three years ago. Had he just turned you down, you’d be alive and off somewhere living your life. Had he just been more careful. It doesn’t matter that everyone has tried to convince him it wasn’t his fault because he always sees it that way. And he misses you.

He wakes up and he misses you and that’s if he can even get any damn sleep. He wakes up and he misses you and he tries to eat and he misses you. Bruce comes over to check on him and he misses you. He sees some of your stuff littered over his apartment and he misses you. His entire chest feels like it might cave right in every single second of every day. It’s as if he is dragging his feet from one minute to the next with no real destination or desire. He moves because he has no choice. He just wants the pain to stop. He wants you back. You didn’t deserve to die.

How he is ever supposed to move on from this? From you?

The memories he once looked back on are now tainted with pain. And that is the only thing he has left of you. What is he supposed to do?

How is he supposed to live with the pain of losing you?

Hands rest on Jason’s knees, gentle and soft, gathering Jason’s attention. Jason’s own sobs were so loud, he entirely missed the presence of another person coming onto the roof with him and he missed the sound of footsteps approaching and then stopping in front of him. He missed it all and not a single part of him even cares. But, he looks up anyway and his breath catches in his throat as his eyes widen. How?

“Jay?” Your voice is quiet and broken with the sight of him.

Tag List: @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @dgraysonss // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @vivian-555 // @kebonita // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz // @achromaticerebus // @lovefks // @kolpvii

[linawritestwst]

him taking care of you + you taking care of him (gn!reader)

(divider link)

characters: riddle rosehearts, ruggie bucchi, jamil viper, epel felmier, lilia vanrouge, silver, neige leblanche, rollo flamme.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

hi hi!! so, uh, yeah, i'm trying to write something for this blog again. i don't think i'll open my requests anytime soon tbh, i kinda want to focus on writing self-indulgent stuff rn.

so yeah, hope you enjoy these! <3 i've tried to make them as soft and cute as possible.

riddle rosehearts.

him taking care of you:

♡ riddle is a busy man, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or that he doesn't have any time for you at all. he loves you and if he could, he would spend as much time with you as possible, but.. you know how responsible and strict he is. but again, it doesn't mean that he cares about the queen of hearts' rules more than you.. t-though it may seem like that sometimes.

♡ if he notices that you're not feeling well, like for example, maybe you're sick, he will worry about you a lot. maybe it's not that noticeable to you, but everyone else can see just how much riddle cares about you and wants you to get better. if riddle has a lot of work to do and he can't check up on you, he may ask trey for help, since he's his vice dorm leader, though he will feel terrible about it: riddle would much rather do all of that himself. he knows that maybe it'd be a more logical decision to send trey to take care of you while he tries to do everything as fast as he can so that he can visit you later, but for some reason.. no, it's obvious that riddle really wants to be there for you. 

♡ if you're not doing well mentally, even though riddle is not good at giving emotional support and understanding other people's feelings, he still wants to be there and support you. if there's something bothering you, he will listen and he will try his best to come up with the best way to solve your problem. he prefers to think about such things logically and if the voices in your head are being too loud and mean, maybe his voice can help you feel a bit lighter.

you taking care of him:

♡ riddle tries his best to work on his temper, he really does. but of course, he still can't control his anger sometimes. maybe it's because of someone breaking a rule again. maybe it's because of his mother hurting him with her words again. maybe it's because everything is just.. too much for him and he feels overwhelmed even though he'd rather deny it and say that he's fine, because what else could you possibly expect from a dorm leader? and when that happens, you are here to gently calm him down or let him express his frustration and anger, it really depends on what would be better for him at the moment.

♡ if it's the first one, you hold riddle in your arms and softly tell him to take deep breaths, in and out. you slowly pat his head as he does so and you can feel just how fast his heart is beating. his face starts feeling a bit less hot, he finally remembers where he is and what's going on and his anger goes away, even if it's just for a moment. and if it does come back, you still stay with him no matter what. you know that riddle doesn't want to hurt you and if he mentions feeling ashamed and being afraid of doing something bad to you in this state, you hold his hand and tell him that you trust him.  

♡ if it's the second one, you and riddle go to his room and you just let him do whatever he needs to let his feelings out. of course, there are some limits and exceptions and you make sure riddle doesn't accidentally hurt himself in the process or hurt anyone that dares to come in. when he finally feels a bit calmer and looks around while breathing heavily and trying to process everything, you ask him what he needs right now. does he want to be left alone? does he want you to hug him? you make sure riddle feels safe and doesn't worry about anything. if he broke something in the process.. well, he can probably just use magic to fix it, right?

ruggie bucchi.

him taking care of you:

♡ if you ever say that you feel like a burden to him, ruggie doesn't want to hear it. why? because he would always choose taking care of you over doing stuff for leona. he doesn't care about you not looking perfect today and he won't care about it tomorrow or any other day. when he hears about what you're going through, you blaming yourself for not having any energy to get out of bed or take care of your appearance, sounds so.. weird to him. how can you still say that you're the one in the wrong in this situation? he just sighs, shakes his head and ruffles your hair while saying that you should be grateful for him being here for you. he's not being serious, of course. 

♡ if you don't have any energy to do chores or you're sick, he's totally okay with doing them for you. if you say anything about feeling guilty or if he hears you trying to offer your help, he doesn't let you finish. he's doing it not because he's your servant or because he owes you something. he just loves you a lot and wants you to know that. and if making your day a little bit easier is what he can do to show his love for you, he's more than okay with doing exactly that.

♡ he can't say that he's good at giving advice or understanding other people's emotions or anything like that, but if you need to vent, go on, he'll listen. he will nod, he will act surprised, he will make funny (and not really) comments, because even if he doesn't know how to solve your problem and even if he doesn't know how to show that he cares, he wants you to know that at times like these, you can still ask him for help and support. you've saved him so many times before and you don't even know about it. let him do the same for you just as many times as you did.

you taking care of him:

♡ ruggie may act like he has a lot of requests and that he can never be satisfied, but actually, he doesn't need as much as he likes to say he does. you buying him some donuts or giving him headpats always does the trick. you still love spoiling him though and if he's tired, you're always okay with letting him lie on your lap and talk to you or just take a nap, if he wants. you like buying him gifts even if he doesn't ask for anything, you love to see his reactions too much. he always gets shocked at first, but then he gets so excited, you can't help but smile because of how cute he is.

♡ you always notice if something is wrong and if ruggie is not feeling so good, you're always there to ask what happened and help him in any way you can. honestly, you're so good at noticing him try to hide his feelings, it scares him actually. he wishes he was better at fooling you and making you believe that everything is alright, but.. of course, ruggie has his problems too. of course, his life is hard too. but you being there to listen or to just give him the tightest and warmest hug that you can give him is everything that he needs at moments like these.

♡ if ruggie needs to let his feelings out, you'll be there and support him. you'll listen to everything he has to say. if he tries to laugh it off or says that it's actually not that serious, you give him the look that lets him know that you won't let him run away so easily and he has no choice but to admit that he's been not doing great. even if it's just him being tired from running around and doing errands, you still listen to his every word and make sure ruggie knows that you care. because you know that even something as small as this can make ruggie's day or maybe his entire week.

jamil viper.

him taking care of you:

♡ jamil knows how hard it can be sometimes, so if you're having any problems, if you're going through something really bad, you can rely on him. no, you are not being annoying, that's kalim's job. you can just sit down and talk about everything that's been going on while he makes you some warm tea, but still listens to you and nods and tells you to continue. even if you cry, even if you show how angry you are, he'll listen. if you can't hold back your tears, he will hold you as you cry while telling you that it's okay. and no, he doesn't mean it in a "everything will be okay" kind of way. he can't make promises like that. but he means it in a "it's okay for you to cry and be honest with me and show your vulnerable side to me because i promise that i won't hurt you and i won't betray you" kind of way.

♡ and he really does mean it. sure, jamil is.. u-uh, not perfect. but when he says that he will never betray you, that he will never stab you in the back, that he will never use you, he means it. when it comes to doing those things to other people to protect you though- okay, okay, fine, he'll stop himself there. however, he still often feels like he has to hide some things from you because he doesn't want to worry you or make you feel sad. but he still expects you to always tell him if you need his help or if you've been struggling lately. yes, he knows it's selfish. please forgive him for that.

♡ jamil is very patient with you. you're not a burden to him. you're not a nuisance. if you think he's being too quiet while you vent to him, it's not because he doesn't care, but because he wants to let you express your feelings, because he knows how often you tend to bottle them up. your every word matters to him and he wants to hear about everything that's been bothering you. he'll try his best to come up with a solution and give you some kind of advice. if he can't do that, well.. maybe he can at least keep you company, if you're okay with that?

you taking care of him:

♡ you know that jamil can get so, so tired of everything. and you can't even blame him. you understand him so well. so you just want to be there for him when things get rough. when he feels like he can't control his feelings anymore, when he's tired of pretending like everything's fine, when he feels like nobody will ever notice or truly appreciate his efforts, you gently put your hand on his shoulder and remind him that you care. if no one else does, at least you care. and that's already enough for him, because you are the most precious person in this world to him.

♡ jamil doesn't even have to say anything. if he doesn't have the energy for that, you're completely fine with it. you can just sit next to him with your head on his shoulder and you both don't have to talk. this silence isn't scary, it isn't weird, it isn't uncomfortable. and if he wants to talk about his feelings, you'd love to hear it. he can talk about whatever he wants as you carefully unbraid his hair and nod and react to everything. he doesn't have to apologize for his ranting, it's just him expressing his feelings and why should he be sorry for that?

♡ if jamil is angry, you'll let him be angry. if jamil is sad, you'll let him be sad. he never has to pretend to be someone else when he's with you. he doesn't have to pretend that he's better than he is. and he doesn't have to pretend that he's worse. you still love him no matter what. simply because jamil is.. jamil. and you don't need him to be anyone else. if he doesn't want to do anything special or productive today, that's fine. if he kinda wants to show off and impress you, that's also fine. and even though, of course, you want jamil to be happy, it doesn't mean that you stop loving him when he shows a negative emotion. because that's still him. and you love him. 

epel felmier.

him taking care of you:

♡ oh? you don't feel so good?.. okay, who should he punch for making you feel bad? hm? it's not someone else's fault?.. o-okay then. epel is not exactly an expert when it comes to mental health problems, but if you just need him to be there and support you, he'll be more than happy to do just that. if you have the energy for it, you two can take a walk and just enjoy the sunlight, the warmth or the cool breeze, depending on the weather. you two can lie on the ground and just watch the clouds as epel points at some of them and tells you what they remind him of. you don't have to say anything, if you don't want to. but epel still hopes that you will let him know if he's doing a good job. 

♡ you know what, he doesn't care what vil has planned for today. you're not feeling good? it's your day now. epel will literally figh his dorm leader if he has to. he just wants to spend this day with you, trying to cheer you up and nothing and nobody will stand in his way.. at least he hopes so. he's okay with doing anything you want. you don't feel like leaving your room? that's fine, he'll bring some snacks and you two can just chill while he's hugging you. you don't feel loved enough? he'll shower your whole face in kisses and will hug you as tight as he can. you don't have the energy to do anything? that's fine, stuff like that happens. just tell him if you need anything. 

♡ i imagine epel to be a very physically affectionate type of person when it comes to people he loves, so be ready for many hugs, cuddles and kisses. he just has so much love for you inside and he has to express it somehow, otherwise he'll.. uh, explode or something, haha. but seriously, he wants you to feel as safe and comfortable with him as he does when he's with you. with you, epel feels like he can actually be himself, like you won't judge him and you don't have any high expectations for him. so please, let him repay everything that you've done for him. no matter how tired, sick, sad or angry you are, he still wants to be with you and tell you that those feelings are valid.

you taking care of him:

♡ epel doesn't really like admitting that he's not doing good. i mean.. isn't talking about your feelings kind of.. like, won't he look weak- okay, okay, stop pinching his cheeks, he understands, feelings and emotions have no gender, he gets it. fine, he'll be more open about it.. but only if you hug him, give him a kiss and tell him that everything will be alright! also, give him a lot of compliments. he really needs them. tell him that he's strong, tell him that he's the best boyfriend you could ever wish for, tell him just how happy he makes you. even if those compliments don't sound that special, they mean the world to him. 

♡ every single word you say means so much to him. even if it's just you telling him that he did a good job, when he's with others, he will blush and politely thank you, and when it's just you two, he will tease you about it and ask you to do it again, but you have no idea how many times he will repeat those words in his head during the day and before he goes to sleep. and if you hug him, hold his hand or kiss him, it will be even harder for him to stop thinking about it. 

♡ if he's suddenly being clingy or asking for affection for (seemingly) no reason, you can take it as a sign that something is wrong. also take it as a sign to give epel what he needs. kiss him on the forehead. hold his hands as tight as you can. give him the warmest hug that you ever gave him. even if he pretends that he actually doesn't like it or that you're being way too affectionate, don't stop. don't listen to him. give him even more attention actually. and of course, asking him what happened is good too. let him talk. let him rant about how annoying vil is, how tired he is of pomefiore or just whatever is going on in his life. he'll thank you later.

lilia vanrouge.

him taking care of you:

♡ OHHHHH HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE WILL. THIS IS A THREAT BTW. this man sees that you're not doing great and he asks you "what's wrong honey :( no, no, don't scream, this is just me-" as he's hanging from the ceiling as usual. if he sees that you're sick or just really, really tired, that's it, you will spend the whole day in your bed with as many blankets as you want. you have no choice. you need some warm tea/coffee/milk/anything else? he will bring it to you, just tell him. oh, he can also cook for you, if you want- oh, you're not hungry. oh. oh okay.

♡ but lilia really does make sure you don't waste your energy on things that he can help you with. if you don't feel like you can stand up to get something, just ask him for help and he will bring it to you. you actually don't even have to tell him anything. somehow he just knows what you need even if you don't say a word. he will fix your pillow if you don't feel like it's comfortable, he will bring you another blanket if you still feel cold and if you're sick, he will bring you the medicine you need. if you're having trouble falling asleep, he's always happy to sing you a lullaby and calm you down with his voice.

♡ if you say anything about feeling like a burden to him, he will stop you before you say anything else. he wants you to know that being able to take care of you makes him so happy because he can show you just how much he loves you and he can give you all the love you gave to him. you just can't be a burden to him because he loves helping you and he loves being there for you. you're not too much. and you're not too little. it doesn't matter how weak you think you are, because lilia will give you all the strength you need to go through the day simply because he loves you.

you taking care of him:

♡ you know that lilia's memory is not that good because of him being older than he looks, so you make sure to leave lots of notes for him in case he forgets something. and he appreciates it greatly. he loves seeing those notes because it's your handwriting!! he doesn't care how messy or how imperfect it is. it's yours and that's enough to make him happy. they're always so cute too! you also like to tease lilia about having to help him walk somewhere while calling him a grandpa and he laughs and plays along. you two literally look like the "sure grandma let's get you to bed" meme when you do that.

♡ on a more serious note, you also remind lilia that he really is a good father to silver. he's doing a great job actually. silver loves him just as much as lilia loves him, if not more. and lilia is a good person. why? well, he just has to take a look around. he just has to look at malleus, silver and sebek. lilia is an extremely important person to them and for a good reason. he plays such a big role in the diasomnia family and it's hard to imagine what could've happened to these boys if he wasn't there to guide them and support them. and he's doing the same thing for you now. and you feel loved and cared for when he's around. you're sure those boys feel the same way.

♡ you have so much love inside your heart and you will give it all to lilia if he needs it. if he feels like he's not good enough, if he feels like he's not doing enough, if he feels like he hasn't changed for the better, you will be there to tell him that he is so much better than he thinks he is. he has saved so many people, including you. maybe he's just so used to doing stuff like that that he doesn't even notice it and doesn't think too much about it. but lilia has changed so many people's lives. and you're here to change his life too. hopefully, for the better.

silver.

him taking care of you:

♡ silver loves you so much and he wants you to know that. even if he's slow, even if he falls asleep at the worst possible timing, even if he gets tired easily, he still wants to be able to protect you and help you with anything you need help with. just tell him or explain it to him and he will nod and immediately try his best to do it. he would do anything for you and he means it. maybe he's not that good with words and he's a little quiet, but he really will try so hard to express his feelings properly. if you're sick, he will get you anything you might need. if you're tired, he will help you with doing anything you don't have the energy to do yourself. he just wants to help you, please, let him do so.

♡ if he sees you falling asleep while doing something, he will gently carry you in his arms to your bed or the nearest couch and he will cover you with a blanket, making sure you don't get cold. he will softly get your hair out of your face and make sure you're comfortable before smiling at you (and not even noticing it) and sitting down somewhere so that he can watch you (not in a creepy way though! he just wants to make sure you're safe!). a-ah, he can fall asleep too though.. b-but he'll try his best to stay awake! he won't let anything bad happen to you, he promises. 

♡ please don't think that silver sees you as someone weak and fragile because he's so worried about your safety. he just loves you a lot and.. and he doesn't want to lose you. you're so precious and so important to him and he doesn't know how to express it and what to do with his feelings because they're so new to him, so.. just tell him if he's being annoying or too overprotective, okay? he respects your boundaries and if you think he's overstepping, let him know, he would never want to hurt you. 

you taking care of him:

♡ you don't find silver's sleepiness to be annoying at all. if anything, you'd say that it's kinda cute, but you totally understand why silver would worry so much because of it. you just want him to know that you still love him and that you would never hate him for falling asleep while you talk to him or anything like that. if silver has trouble waking up in the morning, you can just come to his room and wake him up if he wants, haha. o-oh, he would actually love that? okay then, you will be the first thing he sees in the morning from now on.

♡ if silver is blaming himself for his sleepiness and calling himself lazy, you will stop him before he says more bad stuff about himself. you can't just let your boyfriend do that. you know how hardworking, brave, strong and responsible silver is, there are just some things that he can't control and that's okay, that's normal, he just has to accept it no matter how painful, scary and frustrating that might be. if he needs to talk about it, you'll be there to listen. he always was there for you to listen to you talk about the things you love, talk about your day or just rant about stuff, now it's your turn to do the same for him.

♡ you're just as patient with silver as he is patient with you. and you know that even if he's a knight in training, he also needs and deserves to be protected. if you see anyone (subtly or not so) making fun of silver, you won't hesitate to call them out or even try to fight them. you also don't let people take advantage of him taking things a bit too literally and kind of living in his own world and being a more quiet and introverted person. this man is a knight, but he's still soft and gentle and deserves to be taken care of.

neige leblanche.

him taking care of you:

♡ this boy will do anything to make you happy!! he might have a busy schedule and he might have lots and lots of fans following him around everywhere, but you're still so, so important to him! just tell him what you need, okay? if you feel like you need more physical affection, he will give you as many hugs and kisses as you want. if you feel like you need some distraction from your problems, you two can go on a nice date to any place you want. or you can just leave the choice to neige if you don't know where you want to go! though he will still talk to you about it first, because even though making it a surprise sounds nice in theory, he still wants to make sure you're okay with it. and if you just need to spend some time with your boyfriend in silence, he will be more than happy to just sit with you while hugging you and not even saying anything. just being here with you is enough.

♡ if you're too tired and/or sleepy, he will get you the softest and warmest blanket and if you want, he can sing you something to help you fall asleep, again, just tell him. oh, he can also bring you a stuffed animal, if you want! if you want to cuddle, he's all for it too. he just wants you to feel safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep without any worries. even if you still have something to do, even if there's still too many dark thoughts in your head, neige just hopes he can help you forget about it at least for a moment. you getting rest is more important right now.

♡ neige would never let you think that his job is more important to him or that he loves his fans more than you. it's true, he really does love his fans no matter what and he's passionate about acting and modelling, but you are still that person that he cares about the most. there are so many things and people in this life that he loves, but to be honest, he'd probably be okay with losing some of them, but you are definitely not one of them. so let him express his love for you, okay? you deserve it. no matter how much you think you're not enough for neige, you deserve it.

you taking care of him:

♡ neige gives you so much love and affection, sometimes you feel like you don't give him enough of it back. so when you and neige can finally spend some time together, you give him as many hugs and kisses as you can and it's hard for you to let him go even for a moment. you just missed him so much.. the way you spend time together depends on how high neige's energy level is at the moment and yours as well. if it's been a long day of filming and no matter how much neige tries to hide it, his smile looks a little bit tired, you two can just spend the evening lying on the couch and talking about whatever comes to mind. and if both of you feel like it, you can try to bake something together or just dance together in your bedroom. 

♡ even if neige looks fine, you can still tell if something is bothering him and you encourage him to be more honest about it. he doesn't have to pretend that everything is fine, he doesn't have to smile all the time, at least he can be honest with you. you agree that neige is insanely talented and that he deserves all his popularity, but you love him not only for that, you love him for what kind of person he is. and he doesn't have to continue acting when it's just you two. so even if it's something small and not that serious, he can tell you. you two can just laugh about it later or actually try to solve that problem together. 

♡ if you find out that some fans of his have been acting weird in some way, like maybe they've been asking him if he has a s/o way too many times or even if they've been stalking him, you won't hesitate to do something about it. you will try to go and meet them in person, if you have to. you try not to let neige know about it because you don't want him to worry and because you know that he can be a little bit.. he forgives his fans too easily. you think him loving them so much is admirable, but also, you just really want him to be safe. you want to protect him. you know that some fans just.. don't know what privacy and personal space is. 

rollo flamme.

him taking care of you: 

♡ even if rollo may seem like a cold and emotionless person to some people, you know very well that it's not true at all and that he cares so much. if he sees that you're even a little bit tired, he will gently (but firmly) ask you to take a break. if you want, he can help you with whatever you're working on once he's free. as a student council president, he knows what it's like to have a lot of things to do and feel like you have to finish all of it as soon as you can, but it doesn't mean that he will let you overwork yourself. and if you're the opposite and you tend to procrastinate very often or you can be very forgetful, rollo will remind you that you have things to do and will try to motivate you to do them. most of the time it's just him saying that those things are important and you will most likely regret not doing them earlier- n-no, y/n, a kiss is not a proper way to motivate someone.

♡ rollo is not really good with words, it's true that he is good at things like public speaking and stuff like that or manipulating people into thinking that he's a totally normal person who is not planning to steal their magic but it's fine it's whatever, but when it comes to having actual genuine conversations, he is.. not sure what to do. however, if he notices that you're not doing good mentally, you can always tell him what's on your mind. he won't insist on it though and he thinks you should tell him about it only if you're comfortable with it. but if you do, you can trust him, he will listen to you very carefully and will never interrupt. 

♡ rollo isn't really the type to give you emotional support, but i also can't say that he's the member of the "would rather give you an advice/suggest ways to solve your problem" gang. he's more subtle about it. you know what? he'd rather solve your problem himself. or at least try to make it feel easier and not as overwhelming and tiring. you feel like your schedule is a mess and you don't have time to do anything? he will come up with different ways for you to organize everything and when you wake up, you will already have multiple different new schedules for you to choose from lying on your desk. wait, does that mean he has talked to the people who gave you so much work and- actually, maybe you shouldn't ask him that. someone has been too mean to you? well guess what, they'll be nothing but nice and polite to you now. oh, and if any magic user even tries to- okay. okay, sorry, y/n. sorry. 

you taking care of him:

♡ you honestly have no idea how rollo manages to do the student council work and take care of the belltower and its gargoyles and still pretend that everything is fine. no matter how much he tries to hide the fact that he's tired or claims that he's okay with it, you still ask him to take a break. and if he still insists that he has things to do.. man, and you were really hoping to take a nap with him while holding him and telling him that he's done well- oh? oh, he actually has some free time now? huh. interesting. well, what did you expect, this man is so touch-starved, it's insane. and it's also kinda cute to watch him try and pretend that he's not.

♡ you actually try to help rollo be more honest with his emotions. like, he has to be better than the overblot gang. and also.. it's probably for the best that we don't have another masquerade incident. so if you see that rollo is even a little bit annoyed, you still ask him what's wrong and even if he tries to cover his face expression with his handkerchief and says that it's nothing, you don't leave him alone until he confesses. and this isn't just about the negative emotions, if you see him try to hide his smile or his face that is becoming more red, you softly tell him to stop and look at you. you won't make fun of him and you won't think he's weird for expressing his emotions. you would love to see that side of him more often actually. 

♡ if rollo actually wants to talk to you about something that has been bothering him even without you noticing anything or asking him about it, you'd be so proud of him for opening up to you and you will try your best to listen to him and you will be as patient with him as possible. you know that he has a lot of problems and that his past was really sad and traumatic and even though you can't do anything to change his past, at least you can try to make the present better. if he wants to talk to you about his brother, if he wants to talk about his relationship with magic, if he wants to talk about anything, you'll be there, waiting for him. you won't leave him. you promise. 

[gliphyartfan]

helllo! I haven’t really seen rules for request and I’m not sure if your open butt I have a request that i got inspired by seeing another asker on Yandere Linked Universe. Ahem Platonic Yandere Chain x Fi Reader!

How would that go for headcanons? I know it be complicated because chosen hero and basically saving the world but let’s also say that Fi Reader was the only consistent thing that help Link through battles and advice (only hearing her chimes and voice, they don’t what she looks like expect for Sky)

lol I’ve never been good with these types of ask but uhh gotta try sometimes! Also can i be the 💫 anon lol?? Sry i get nervous when asking these things

Of course, 💫 Anon! Welcome to the blog, and thank you for this lovely ask!

Alright, let’s eat into this!

🌟 Sky 🌟

Sky’s bond with Fi Reader would be the deepest and most personal. He’s the only one who truly knew her, who spent his entire journey in her presence and grew to rely on her not just for guidance but also as a companion.

Sky would feel incredibly possessive of Fi Reader. To him, she’s not just a guide but his guide, his oldest and most trusted friend. He sees her as a part of his soul.

He wouldn’t take kindly to the rest of the Chain trying to develop their own bonds with her. He’d likely become passiveaggressive, dropping comments like, “She doesn’t work for you, you know.”

Sky would be quietly heartbroken if Fi Reader started forming attachments with the others. He’s not selfish enough to stop it, but the thought of her giving them the same affection and attention she gave him stings.

He treasures every word she says to him, constantly seeking her reassurance. If she even hints at preferring his company, his mood would skyrocket.

All in all, he’s a clingy one to her. And definitely feels a hint smug at first that HE’S the closest to her compared to everyone else. (Tho he is kinda jealous that Wild got to have her by his side from a very young age, even if he doesn’t remember it anymore.)

🌟 Warriors 🌟

Warriors’ relationship with Fi Reader is complicated. He interacted with her during the War of Eras but didn’t get to form similar personal bonds like Sky did due to the chaos of the war.

He respects her immensely, but there’s an underlying bitterness. He’s seen glimpses of her connection with Sky, and it eventually frustrates him that he didn’t get the same. Though he DOES have a closer relationship with her compared to the others so in a way, he’d be the second closest to her??

Warriors would be (surprisingly) one of the most competitive when it comes to gaining Fi Reader’s approval. He’d show off his battlefield prowess and leadership skills, hoping she’d acknowledge him. ( rivalry between the knights!)

He’s also protective, seeing her as a key ally in the Chain’s success. However, his protectiveness has a possessive edge, especially if he feels like she’s prioritizing others over him.

He often reminisces about the war and wonders if things could’ve been different if he’d gotten to know her better back then.

🌟 Time 🌟

Time’s relationship with the Master Sword is uh…kinda filled with bitterness and some baggage, which sadly also kinda extends to Fi Reader. He deeply respects her, but her presence stirs complicated feelings.

Time would carry guilt and frustration, wondering if he was ever worthy of wielding the sword and, by extension, worthy of her guidance.

He’d never show it, but he longs for her approval. If she ever acknowledged his wisdom or leadership, it would mean the world to him.

At the same time, Time might avoid her when his emotions run too high. Since seeing could dredge up memories he’d rather forget.

His protectiveness of Fi Reader is quiet. He wouldn’t let anyone speak ill of her or disrespect her, even in jest. If Fi Ready did explain why she made him jump through time the way she did, maybe he’d be able to let go of that bitterness, but I dunno.

Also Time probably harbors some irrational guilt for the destruction he caused during the War of Eras using the Fierce Deity mask, even if it was for the greater good. He fears that Fi Reader may see him as a monster, especially if she witnessed him wielding the mask’s power. Her reassurance is a balm to his soul, but he’s never fully convinced he deserves it.

(Honestly I doubt Reader even cared. She no doubt had sense the deity and probably didn’t even think to see Time as a monster. Maybe the deity even sensed her and they had a small moment to acknowledge each other before the battles kept them busy. Ya know?)

🌟 Twilight 🌟

Twilight’s bond with Fi Reader would be one of quiet reverence. He respects her deeply, but his connection to the Master Sword is more practical than emotional.

Twilight would see her as a guidin star, someone to lean on when he feels lost. He’d likely look to her for advice when dealing with the darker aspects of his journey.

He’d feel a subtle jealousy toward Sky for having such a close bond with her but wouldn let it show. Instead, he’d try to prove himself through his actions.

Twilight would value her approval immensely tho. If she ever praised him, even for something small, it would stay with him for days.

His protectiveness would manifest in quiet, steady ways. He’d always keep an eye on her, ensuring she’s safe and comfortable, even if she doesn’t need it.

🌟 Wild 🌟

Wild’s connection to Fi Reader is bittersweet. He wielded the Master Sword but doesn’t remember most of his time with it before the Calamity. Which is a true shame cause maybe he and her had a decent relationship before everything.

Wild would be fascinated by her, desperate to piece together the memories he’s lost. Maybe she had spoken to him in the past. Maybe Her voice would feel familiar and comforting, even if he can’t place why.

He’d be one of the most eager to interact with her, asking questions and trying to draw her out of her shell. He want to know her, to understand her, in a way that feels deeply personal.

Wild would be protective, but his protectiveness would be tinged with guilt. He feels like he’s let her down by losing so much of himself.

If she ever helped him recover a memory, even accidentally, he’d be overwhelmed with gratitude and devotion. Maybe cause she had been with him for so many years before the calamity, she recalls a lot from his past, so once he gets a chance, he could ask her and learn more of who he once was.

🌟 Legend 🌟

Legend’s relationship with the Master Sword is complicated. He’s wielded it, reforged it, and understands its power, but he’s never had the same bond with it as Sky.

Legend would be wary of Fi Reader at first, unsure if she’d see him as worthy. Especially since I have no doubt he’d be grumpy at times and cursed her out. He’s used to being doubted and would expect the same from her.

Over time, though, he’d come to rely on her guidance and cherish her presence. If she ever expressed faith in him, he’d be deeply moved.

Legend’s protectiveness would be sharp and biting. He’d defend her fiercely, especially if anyone tried to undermine her.

He’d secretly treasure any interaction with her, even if he acted nonchalant about it.

🌟 Hyrule 🌟

Hyrule’s bond with the Master Sword is simple a kind protector of Hyrule who’s been tempered by a harsh and dangerous life.

Hyrule wants to trust Fi Reader, but his hard earned survival instincts make him wary at first.

While Hyrule has a healthy dose of paranoia about others’ intentions, once he decides someone is worth protecting, he goes all in.

He feels a quiet kinship with her because they’ve both endured in their own ways, though hers is quieter and more refined. (She’s designed to rest between her duties, and in his eyes Heroes only get to truly rest when they are dead.)

He’d (once he gets to know her when she appears around the chain) would see her as a wise and benevolent figure, almost goddess-like in her presence. Her words would carry immense weight for him.

If she ever gave him personal advice or guidance, he’d take it to heart and follow it without question.

🌟 Wind 🌟

Wind’s relationship with Fi Reader would be rather enthusiastic. He sees her as a cool, mysterious figure and is eager to earn her favor.

Wind would constantly try to impress her, doing daring stunts and cracking jokes to make her laugh.

He’d be curious about her relationship with the Master Sword and would likely pester Sky with endless questions about her.

Wind’s protectiveness would be impulsive and bold. He’d jump into danger without hesitation if he thought she needed help.

He’d be one of the most open about his feelings toward her, wearing his admiration on his sleeve.

Though maybe he’d also be a bit insecure cause he had to earn his place as a Hero. But I have no doubt Reader would assure him that he had simple needed to have gained the Gods favor, because he had long since earned hers from the moment he held her blade in his hand.

(Cause like, I feel like even if she was depowered, she would have still had some lingering energy to have determined his worthiness even a little. If he hadn’t been worthy, she would have at least zapped him. But she didn’t so I’m gonna assume she found him worthy from the get go!)

The War of Eras kinda forced Wind to grow up a bit quickly, but his natural optimism and adaptability helped him keep cheerful and bright. He views Fi Reader as a presence who helped him change from a carefree islander to a hero(pirate) with a purpose.

Wind feels an almost childlike joy in Fi Reader’s company, often comparing her to the wind itself, gentle yet guiding. He treasures their bond and often jokes that she’s the ‘real captain’ of the Chain.

🌟 Four 🌟

Four never wielded the Master Sword, he’s heard of it but really…¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . He sees her as someone tied to a power he’s never fully understood. (He’s learned his lesson about magic swords after all.)

Four would be deeply curious about her, asking thoughtful questions and trying to piece together her nature.

He’d feel a small sense of inadequacy, wondering if his lack of connection to the Master Sword makes him less worthy of her attention. (He and every other hero with a slightly bad experience with her.)

Four’s protectiveness would be quiet but intense. He’d always be there when she needed him, even if he never said a word about it.

He’d be fascinated by her ability to guide and inspire, often marveling at how much she’s helped the group.

Over time, i suppose the Chain’s collective reverence for Fi Reader would grow into an almost obsessive need to keep her close. They’d compete for her attention, subtly (or not-so-subtly) trying to outdo each other.

Sky’s possessiveness would clash with the others’ growing attachment, leading to tensions within the group.

Fi Reader would become the emotional anchor for the Chain, her presence soothing their fears and doubts. Especially when she states without hesitation that even though the goddess gave her a command serve, Reader’s CHOSEN duty is to be there for her masters in more than just a single way.

Their protectiveness WOULD border on suffocating at times, each hero determined to ensure her safety at all costs even though she is MORE than capable of defending herself.

The thought of losing her would eventually be unthinkable (it’s definitely unthinkable for Sky. Terrified him really).

Honestly, Fi Reader would be both a guiding light and an unintentional source of tension for the Chain.

The rivalries would be fierce…

Thanks for the ask, 💫 Anon! This was such a fun thought process!

[prontaentrega]

how to post songs as mp3 files and avoid copyright

a bunch of people were asking how to post music on tumblr so here's some kind of tutorial n_n there's probably a thousand better ways to do it out there but this is what i do and it works for me

Step 1: Acquiring music

Before you post any music you gotta have it as an mp3 file. Bunch of people mentioned mp3 converters but my favorite way has always been to just download discographies from blogs. You google "(band) complete discography free download" or something like that and something's bound to show up. If you've doing this for a while you'll skip this first part and go straight to the places you know will have it- here's some of my favorite blogspots for it - but they're all very specific to the stuff i listen to (mainly punk and latin american rock).

These type of sites tend to be genre-specific so if you're looking for, say, a prog rock band, maybe you'll have more luck searching for prog rock downloads websites. The older or more obscure the band, the easier it will be to find. And you'll find that a lot of these sites are not in english- you have to get comfortable visiting and downloading from sites in spanish, portuguese, russian or what have you and your life will get easier.

Don't limit yourself to blogs or music download-specific sites. Some people post album dl links on youtube. When i was in high school i downloaded The Black Parade from DeviantArt. The internet is far and wide and you can find stuff anywhere

But what if i can't find an album like this?

Alternative 1: Legally

Go find a record store and buy the album you want. You can also check the artist's bandcamp or any other website where you can buy their music and get it as a file on your pc (no streaming shit). Some albums are out there for free, legally! If you know an artist who uploads their music to tumblr you can just right click on their mp3 upload and download it directly :^)

Alternative 2: The classic

you can pretty much google youtube mp3 converter and click any link and it'll do the work. Here's a link from a safe piracy subreddit. You paste a youtube vid's link and hit convert/download etc.

I've also heard some people say Lucida is good (lets you download songs and albums by pasting the spotify/bandcamp/wtv link) but i can't say it has worked for me- always gives me a network error. But maybe it works for someone else.

Step 2: I got the music- now what?

Now you post it! Some songs (obscure or copyright-free enough) will just let you post them like that. Most songs won't. For a lot of them you'll have to add some silence or edit the metadata.

Adding silence to a song:

Option 1: Get audacity for free. Go to File > Open on the top bar and open the song you wanna add the silence to. Make sure you're at the start of the track (it says 00h00m00s at the bottom). Go to Generate > Silence... on the top bar also. Choose how long you want the silence to be, click "generate". You'll see a straight line appear at the start of the track- that means it worked. Go to File > Export > Export as MP3 to save it. You'll see a pop up where you can edit the metadata (things like artist, year, genre, etc.) i like having my audio files with metadata but for the purpose of tumblr posts you'll want to leave all that empty- if it's got that info erase it. Click "Ok". Done!

Option 2: Do it online on audiomass. Go to File > Load from Computer, open the song. Click on the white square with the S (insert silence button). Choose how long you want it to be, click "insert silence". You'll see a straight line appear at the start of the track- that means it worked. Go to File > Export/Download. Make sure it's mp3 format, i always save it as 256kbps but it's not neccessary. Click export. Done!

Some songs let you get away with only 5 or 8 seconds of silence. I try to have it be as short as possible, but most songs will need 10 seconds of silence. Sometimes even a little more, if even with the 10 seconds it doesn't let you post it try adding 0.25s more and checking.

I always play the file i just exported, to make sure everything's right.

Editing the metadata:

I'm gonna be honest i don't know how necessary this is but the audio post format works in mysterious ways so it's always better to be one step ahead. If you got it from youtube to mp3 or already added the silence then your file won't have any metadata, unless you didn't clear it when exporting from audacity. if you got it legally or pirated from any blogspot type site and didn't edit it at all it will probably have metadata. To edit it you have to right click the file > Properties, go to the "details" tab, and there you'll see things like title, author, year, genre, etc. You can just click on any section and change or erase it, then click "Ok".

As a last thing, it's generally better if the file is not saved as the song's name. Just name it anything else.

Compressing the file:

I almost forgot but there's also a size limit. I don't remember it at the moment because i've only had a problem with it once, but if you do just google "compress mp3 file" and go on any website to do it LOL

Step 3: Posting it

Now just go make a new audio post. Upload the file from your pc. If there's an error sometimes it'll tell you what it is (you don't own this song/the file is too heavy/etc) but sometimes it will just delete the audio post format and not tell you anything. If there's any error make sure you did everything (the silence, the metadata, the size, the file name). Maybe go back and add 0.5 or 1 more second of silence at the start. Sometimes tumblr just won't want you to post a song even with every step done right- nothing to do about that :( Sometimes you can try back after a while and it will let you post the song- sometimes it won't. There's no real logic to it tbh.

But if everything goes right it will upload correctly. Now you can add the song's title, artist and album info, and album art or whatever image you want n_n Hit post and done!

[geopsych]

re: the tumblr ai stuff, please don’t wipe your blog!! your blog has been so important to me and many others as a place of authentic light and beauty and i would hate to lose it forever 💕

there is a way to download the contents of a tumblr blog (it’s in settings, i don’t remember rn, but i’ll find it if you need it) maybe you could upload to another site or a personal site?

i know this is very serious, and i hate how we are unwillingly contributing to synthetic art, but the world would be poorer for me without your pictures <3

Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.

This is a dilemma for me. I have loved doing this blog and going out to look for pictures and interesting things to bring here has given me motivation and meaning through years of struggle with depression and several kinds of grief. Going out to look for pictures has put me in situations where I have seen incredible beauty, much of which I never really managed to capture. Also, the many warm and kind messages I've received from people all over the world have given me heart and made me feel less meaningless as a person and more connected. Sometimes I've been criticized for buying the checkmarks and giving money to Tumblr but I wanted to do what I could because Tumblr has been my one happy and safe place online. But now this. To me AI in relation to creativity is just a way for well-to-do but untalented people, the proverbial tech bros, to profit from other people's hard work and creativity. It has no redeeming value in relation to creativity and is actively harmful to artists of all kinds. <trying to figure out how to put a read more link here> I don't even count myself among the real creatives, artists and writers and others who have worked hard and put years into honing their crafts, into learning to translate their hearts and unique spirits into their creative expression. I just see beautiful things and take pictures of them. But it would still make me sick to see AI works based on my pictures, on these times and places that have meant so much to me. Recently I saw a set of cat 'photos' on here that everyone was reblogging and exclaiming over but that to me seemed to just be AI art that was more convincing than most. As time goes on more and more output of AI is going to be almost indistinguishable from real works and unscrupulous people will pass them off as real, getting credit for what was actually created by others. Whether they profit from them becomes almost irrelevant at that point because what's worse is that we will have less and less sense of what is real. And as some have pointed out AI will now also be scraping from AI, muddying the waters further from here on in. This is an apocalypse of sorts, an apocalypse of creativity, ultimately likely to kill the joy of artistic endeavor for many who would otherwise produced brilliant, beautiful, funny, and/or shockingly original things. I'm still parsing and dissecting my thoughts and feelings about what Tumblr has done and how to react. Staying and leaving my blog up feels like consent. I am not confident in the integrity of anyone connected with scraping sites for AI. I'm not convinced that a little toggle in settings is going to make much of a difference in the long run. On the other hand I like posting here and I have received enough messages over the years to know that my blog is a positive influence on some lives. I was looking forward to May and June and posting pictures of the incredible beauty of eastern Pennsylvania in those months. And I was planning on making a side blog for posting some poetry I've been working on. It will break my heart to leave.

I haven't decided yet. Believe it or not this whole thing has given me awful physical symptoms. I'll let you know when I decide. Thank you again for your kind and lovely note!

[lucysarah-c]

Hello, I hope you're okay!

I don't know if you're comfortable with this one but what do you think would be Levi's favorite positions? Don't answer if you're not comfortable and forgive me if I overstep

Hello~ I'm doing just fine, thank you for asking. How are you?

Haha, you're not overstepping and you're DEFINITELY not making me uncomfortable. I've got fics posted out there with more warnings than a summary, so haha, welcome to the blog lol.

Mh, I am a firm believer that Levi has a soft spot for two positions: on all fours and missionary, but with your legs on his shoulders and a pillow under your hips.

I feel both can be very, uh, penetrating lol. Like both are positions that allow for deep penetration, which can be great sometimes and not so great other times. We women are complicated, you know; some days of the month our cervix is lower, more sensitive, etc., and it may be painful. If that day is not one of the days you can endure this man rearranging your insides, completely understandable. Levi may switch to something else, maybe regular missionary or spooning from behind. He may even let you take the lead and ride him to find what's more comfortable.

BUT overall, I feel Levi loves being on all fours. It's his dirty pleasure; he wants to see your well-fucked face, but at the same time, the primitive position of his knees tapping the sides of yours so you would open up even more for him, his hand gripping your hips as the other pushes your back lower on the bed and arches you, the mind-blowing sight of your ass, your face twisting to the side to catch more air.

The other position doesn't fall behind. He can literally feel and almost see your body taking his cock, his hands gripping your legs and using them for leverage. Seeing your face as you moan his name, hair spread on the pillow, tits bouncing as he fucks you. Biting your legs as he folds you completely and feeling them shake next to his face. Ah, pure art.

Thank you for this one! Hope it was good enough <3

Stay safe!

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthor @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @kikarouflames @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-angel @storiesofsung @galactict3a @twruui @lemonsupernova @r3becca_0 @heyitsd1yaa @sydneyyuu @hyuckwon-my-husbands Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC: Random Messages You May Need 🌈🎆⛅

Sup, y'all. I'm finally back for another pick a card reading. I really apologize if folks have not heard from me over the past month, I meant to get this reading (among other things) out a while ago. I have not been able to touch tarot for the past few weeks. Life has been… topsy turvy, to say the least. Heh heh. [sweating profusely]

I meant to have another game out and to have paid readings available by now--that is still part of the plan. What was meant for June will be in July. So this blog might go from 0 to 100 mph real soon, to move along with plans as intended!

I was loosely inspired by the Baker pride flag from 1978 for this group selection. These piles are pretty nondescript: each one contains a random message that may resonate with you. Pick based on whichever color of the Prism Oracle speaks to you most, and feel free to choose more than one. Take only what resonates.

Pile 1 - Strength (Red) Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange) Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow) Pile 4 - Movement (Green) Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise) Pile 6 - Trust (Blue) Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet) Pile 8 - Love (Pink)

Pile 1 - Strength (Red)

10 of Swords, Insight

You've been asked by the universe to put up with a lot, especially recently. You're reaching a finish line of a very long and brutal marathon. There have been too many times where you questioned whether or not to throw in the towel. If you have, you may also have questioned whether or not it was the correct choice. Sometimes, things don't work out, and it's better to move on. It can be difficult to hold everything up when one thing after another seems to fall apart at the seams, but either way you're being reminded of the light at the end of this long and turbulent tunnel.

Collect yourself, pick up what pieces you can. Time has shifted everything, but the essentials still stand. Gather the wisdom you have learned from this ordeal. There is still beauty to be found in the decay, glittering gems in the rough.

Maybe you don't want to get stronger. Healing may feel like a better option than grinding for difficult experience points. Give yourself the rest and repair you need. Let go of only that which is keeping you from starting again, but you don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. You've gained so much wisdom and strength, this trial wasn't without gain. Treasure it and begin anew.

Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange)

2 of Swords, Clarity

Whatever answers you seek are coming to you. Or perhaps they've already arrived; open your eyes and see for yourself. You may be wondering which path will satisfy you more. The process of reconciling this could take forever unless you lean on your gut here. This can't be decided based on intellect alone, for you could get stuck mulling it over for days. Imagining all the different possible outcomes could be taxing for your brain, so narrow it down. Eliminate the weakest links and home in on what excites you. It should feel like an "aha, yes!"

If you cannot see the answer right away, go within to the realm of imagination. Feel your way through. Visualize not just with sight but with yearning. Does the light of the sun make you feel hopeful? Does the cool rain make you feel relaxed? Would an art class expand your capacity to imagine many things, or would taking a science class?

The X mark in 2 of Swords is like a railroad crossing sign. Redirect that train of thought into brighter and more positive avenues of expression. Say "what if" as if you can't wait for something to happen. "What if I saw a shooting star tonight? What if my cute neighbor asked me out?" Let the future shine its beacon for you. It will all make sense in due time.

Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow)

Ace of Cups, Reconciliation

Have you been staying up way too late trying to figure everything out? Please give yourself a brain curfew: no problem solving or saving the day after 10 pm! I'm getting that you may tend to ruminate on the same strong emotions. For some I'm getting that there is a crush here. There's inconsistent text messaging. I know it's easy to get too nervous about their reply, but try to wait until at least the next day to hear back. They may need time to formulate their words right. They may not even see your message straight away. Take it all in stride and sleep on it; if they want to reach out to you, then they eventually will.

For others in this pile, you may be going through a rough patch with another person right now and could be wondering how things will pan out. Give them time to respond, they could still be processing it. Stay on the more positive end of things with the idea that things will work themselves out. I feel like if you can manage this in a relaxed and non hurried way, the knot will untangle easily. The coffee in the Ace of Cups is very hot, so give it a chance to cool.

There is opportunity in your near future to make up for something that went awry due to a miscommunication error. You may get a chance to make up for a test, appointment, or an interview. You will receive grace for any mishaps. Remember that tomorrow won't necessarily be the same as today, so cherish both the good you have now along with the good that soon awaits you.

Pile 4 - Movement (Green)

IX Hermit, Devotion

Looks like things are progressing faster than you even thought they would. You may be blinking your eyes in partial disbelief: could this ball really be rolling? Indeed, thanks to your efforts, goals are being met and results are more evident by the day. You eschewed a lot of distractions to make this work, so give yourself a pat on the back for the level of commitment you put into it. Some of you in this pile may have just graduated, if so then congratulations! But try not to get too comfortable with your laurels, for you have a long road ahead of you in whatever you do next. This one completion is the start of many.

Does that thrill you? If so, wonderful! On the other hand, some of you may be feeling uncertain about continuing. You may be reviewing your options to see if this really is worth pursuing. Something that requires a lot of dedication and focus on it to the exclusion of all else… yeah, I can see how that can get tiring after a long time. There are folks who can get their Master's right after their Bachelor's, or have another child right after the first, but people can also happily move on to what feels more right for them instead.

It's okay to stop and assess your tracks if necessary. Taking time off is not the same as quitting. It's not losing motivation, it's recovering it. This is your passion and your discipline, not anyone else's. If you need to give other parts of your life more room to breathe, then do so with the confidence that your great work will wait for you.

Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise)

4 of Wands, Hospitality

Have you been stuck with something for a while? There's a strong sense of a blockage that is being eroded away over time. This process can be sped up by allowing the ice to thaw a little more. "Break the ice." You may be wanting to open up and spend more quality time with other people but don't know how. Or you could be faced with meeting new people and being nervous about interacting with them. Even more so if they're roommates. A few people in this pile could be moving or have just moved. This is a chance to ease up and get to know new people.

This blockage could be a result of the past and of anxiety. The sound of a turning doorknob just jumpscared me as I typed the last sentence. You may benefit from learning about social anxiety and how to manage it. It's not an overnight job for you to fix this, though, but to just be aware of it and not allow it to get in the way of positive change in your life.

If you're struggling to figure out how to deal with meeting new people, I would suggest looking up videos or how-tos on social interaction, especially if a certain etiquette is required for an event. Learn about conversation starters and fun things you could do together like hosting a game night. Practice makes perfect, and over time the blockage will melt into the stream.

Pile 6 - Trust (Blue)

3 of Swords, Conversion

You have a very soft and tender outlook on life, which makes it all the more painful when reality doesn't conform to such a compassionate vision. It doesn't always try to respond to vulnerability in appropriate ways. Much of the time, this isn't from natural events as much as it stems from the ways in which people can treat one another cruelly. You've had some toxic people in your life who have put you through the wringer and attempted to squeeze every ounce of kindness they could from you. Making light of this pain to them only resulted in further deflection and antagonism on their part. The only outcome was to salvage whatever you could and pray for the best.

It is not your job to change their closed minded perspectives. They're on their own, here. Do not concern yourself with their messy inner world and lose any more of your energy. Also, do not attempt to regain what energy has been lost through bargaining either, as much as it hurts to press onward without looking back. You will recover, but you have to move on first and prioritize what you deeply care about most (you included).

There will come a time when your heart will be healed so you can see the brighter side of human connection again. All the beauty that your gentle soul is seeking is still there, shrouded by layers of protective petals that will one day bloom again and your life will truly flourish. For now, this is a time to give yourself all the comfort you can.

Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet)

XII Hanged Man, Spring

I get the feeling that you've been waiting quite a while for some good results to come in. This could either be from something that you started back in the spring, or are waiting to see results which may come around springtime. It is a season of flowers, so you may be waiting for this thing to blossom--that is, to be fully presentable to the public in some way. To have something to show for the time you put in. Like "hey, this is what I've been working on, this came from the seeds I planted." It could be growing in a direction unlike what you're used to, leaving you wondering how it could succeed in such unusual and burdensome conditions.

Lean on your inner guidance when it comes to the right timing. I don't believe that you're currently in a space where you need to push so hard for the best results. You can let things move at their own pace. Over tending to anything can end up in just as much trouble as neglect. There's only so much you can do before you have to let the flower do the growing and blooming for itself.

It's not always easy to sit in the place of uncertainty with the idea that doing more will provide more. But sometimes less is more. What you're creating is coming to fruition and may even turn out better than you expected. Trust in both the knowledge you've earned over time from learning lessons, as well as your natural intuition, to help you decide when it's time to take action.

Pile 8 - Love (Pink)

7 of Swords, Gossip

Let your heart lead the way here, not your worries over what others will think. Sure, you may end up with some people talking about you, but opportunities will keep passing by if you wait for everyone else to catch up to you. Leaning too much on everyone else's perspectives will only distort the vision you have for your own life journey. We all have unique journeys to go on, but unconditional kindness remains at the center of the Love card, the one thing that brings us together. Following life from a heart centered place may result in having others glance over and whisper, but that shouldn't distract you.

There is a rather delicate message here about dealing with friendships, colleagues, or possibly even family. You may have a tricky situation between several other people right now who have beef not with you but with each other. They may be coming to you to air their grievances and ask for advice.

If you care about both of these people, then it's best to approach this issue as diplomatically and impartially as possible and avoid feeding into the conflict. What would an enlightened mindset do in this situation? How would you want the other person to behave if they were in your shoes? Come from a place of pure compassion. They may choose to make amends or not, it's up to them. If their butting heads is bringing you down, it's always okay to step back and take a break. You are not responsible for what's going on in their heart, only your own, so protect yours well.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[twilightprince101]

Let's be careful before labeling Wally or Home as "The Villain" of Welcome Home

Or anyone for that matter imo

Listen, I can completely understand why people would go to that conclusion. "So Below" and the eerie vibe that Wally gives off in his obsession don't exactly give either a flattering light (I know there are also the art pieces on Clown's personal blog, but I'm not counting anything that hasn't been officially released yet)

But whenever someone labels a character who is acting weird as "the villain," it puts a bad taste in my mouth. At the end of the day, characters in fiction are real people with motivations, so labeling one as "evil" or "the villain" can sometimes erase that complexity. And after the most recent update, we know that Wally has A Lot of very, very complicated feelings about the situation.

Before I get into that though, I wanna point out something that Clown himself has said describes the brand of horror that "Welcome Home" gives off to themselves personally. Click here for the link to the post.

Before I get into that though, I wanna point out something that Clown himself has said describes the brand of horror that "Welcome Home" gives off to themselves personally. Click here for the link to the post.

"My home doesn't feel like home anymore."

That line sticks to me pretty hard. There's a pervasive feeling of unfamiliarity, unreality, that exists in the core of the story itself.

I think we see, firsthand, Wally experiencing this in the latest updates. In all of the hidden Bug/Answer secret videos, we see a familiar pattern. We get some sort of scene of two other characters talking, a scene in whatever universe they call home, until at the very end one of the characters addresses Wally (who was apparently there the whole time) and the video glitches out.

A key part that not a lot of people seem to realize though is that these videos are from Wally's perspective. See the above picture with Wally's hands. In every scene, Wally is present and was supposedly taking part in an activity (in the above one, helping Poppy with knitting), before the video started playing.

Whenever I saw these videos I had that same feeling that something felt. Different. The interactions felt like scenes you would see in the animated/cartoony aesthetic we'd see from the various art pieces, it doesn't feel like it's "on set/TV" to me. They're moreso just intimate glimpses into their lives. But they're shot in the real world, and that feels. Wrong.

This is very likely the same feeling that Wally's having in that moment. "My home doesn't FEEL like home." It's like he's disassociating, having a brief episode of that unreality feeling. Those bouts of strangeness don't go away until, like clockwork, someone says his name and the video ends, snapping him out of it.

Do other people in the neighborhood also feel the same way? Maybe, but we don't know. What we do know is that Wally, whether or not he tries to explain this to others, feels isolated by this sensation. "My neighbors are only neighborly until they know I'm different in a way they can see."

The only other person he likely shares this feeling with? I'd take a guess that it's Home. Nearly every time Home has been featured, Wally has been there, close. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the only physical puppets/props we’ve seen of the cast are Wally and Home.

According to this post by @eldritchravens, Home is the only other person who talks directly to Us, the viewers. That's probably why they're so close, because they're the only ones who can truly confide in each other about this.

"So does that mean Home is manipulating Wally?"

Again, I really don't think that's the case. I don't wanna call people villains quite yet. Besides, we see (or well, hear) Home and Barnaby have a conversation together, and from how Barnaby reacts it's fairly casual.

This shared feeling is likely why Wally is so obsessed with us, including the Restoration Employee. They seem to be sharing a similar sensation to Wally's bouts of unreality, in the fact that it seems they're the ONLY one who doesn't remember Welcome Home being a thing. They seem to be one of the few things that Wally (and maybe even Home) consider to be "Real." Hence their obsession with "seeing" us.

"Isn't this Wally or Home manipulating the Employee though?"

Maybe, I don't know. We don't really know much of what's going on right now, we're only getting glimpses. For all we know this could be a side-effect of Wally/Home trying to reach out. For the time being though, I want to keep my own expectations in check. I'm choosing not to label Wally, Home, The Restoration Team or anyone as a "villain" until something definitive comes up.

It is very, very likely that Wally is going to be doing something more dangerous later down the line (or maybe even is doing so now). But if he's doing anything, I get the feeling it's more out of desperation. He wants something to quell this feeling inside of him, this pervasive sense of unreality, and to connect with something he feels is "real." And, for better or for worse, that thing is us.

This whole thing isn't to bash on people for speculation or theorycrafting, I personally think speculation is very healthy! But it's still important to remember what the core of this story is going to be. We're only seeing the very start of the story right now, and we don't know what'll happen down the line. It's useful to keep that core idea at the center of our speculation so we can have reasonable expectations going forward.

As for me? This doesn't feel like a story with villains. I don't think he'll pull a Monika from DDLC and start gaining a kill count, but if something does happen to the rest of the cast, my money is that it'll happen completely by accident, and he'll regret it. Hard.

[sonicasura]

Nobody Like You

I figured everyone needs something sweet after the latest chapter of the manga. Thus here's a childhood sweethearts Kafhoshi AU but with a little twist. It does contain some elements from my Always A Kaiju idea. Let's get started. Part 2 can be found here! Alternate Route Beast Tamer can be found here!

Forgot to add this but here's a link to @noodlesbf-blog version on Ao3. They asked permission btw.

Soshiro was quite the lonely child at a young age. Due to his family's status, people never really saw the real him. Only a member of a powerful family to respect or avoid. His own kin weren't that much help either.

Soshiro's parents always held high expectations and his brother's attempts at trying to bring him down led little room in trust. Thus the young boy often found solace outside amongst nature. Particularly a hidden little clearing which bear a sole cherry blossom in the forest that stood around his home.

One day, Soshiro would come across quite the surprise waiting for him at his special place. A hole stood before the trunk of the tree. From sheer curiosity, the young Hoshina looked into the apparent burrow. His confused violet eyes immediately met a glowing pair of slitted greenish teal ones. On that day Soshiro encountered someone that would be his first friend but also future lover: a peculiar Kaiju whelp known as Kafka.

Although if the two screamed at each other in fright first then it's understandable. Not all romance starts with love at first sight. Sometimes it's a scream, a backwards fall, and maybe a punch out of fright. (On rarer occasions, it's all three.) Especially for childhood sweethearts like these two.

Upon realizing that Kafka didn't mean any harm, Soshiro began to visit the strange Kaiju. At first he would just talk to him about various things like how his day has been and such. Sometimes Soshiro brings over a snack for the Kaiju to try.

Although Kafka had a tendency to not be in the same spot. Sometimes he would pop up in other places like a bush at the public park. Or outside his bedroom door much to Soshiro's horror. There were some days where Kafka didn't show up at all. He often marked those by the small pretty stones the Kaiju left behind at his window.

Soon things begin to change between the two over time. The first sign was Kafka's attempts to say Soshiro's name. Despite the surprise, the young Hoshina helped teach his friend how to not only speak but even read and write. It did help answer some of the questions Soshiro had for him.

The days Kafka didn't appear? Apparently he was visiting his foster mother, a kind lady by the name of Sakuya Hibino. She rarely gets visitors so Kafka often visited her when no one was around.

The second sign happened on one of the days where the Kaiju asked Soshiro to come over instead. As time went by, Kafka got bigger and the young Hoshina had to exploit some opportunities that came with age like more freedom to see him. Something good to keep when his friend gets bigger than a bus.

Now imagine his confusion seeing an older human boy at their favorite spot. Something that only doubled when the stranger sneezed and 'poofs' into the Kaiju. Kafka had taught himself to become human. It wasn't always perfect since a good enough distraction would poof him back into his Kaiju self.

Yet the ability to introduce Kafka to his world made things worth the risk for both of them. The third sign came when Soshiro attended university. It was required if he wishes to join the Defense Force despite it cutting the little time he could spend with Kafka.

This is also the age where the time he spent alongside his Kaiju friend looked different. Despite being bigger than a building, Kafka was quite crafty when it came to keeping himself human sized. It kept the various activities they could do together not become limited whether by a Kaiju alert or size issues.

Though Kafka's interests had taken strange routes. Places he wanted to try eating at were looking a bit fancy. Sometimes Kafka would beg Soshiro for them to go check out a festival or any rare events happening in town. The latest one involved dancing of all things.

It eventually hits Soshiro once he hears people talking about the upcoming school dance and dates. Kafka had been trying to court him like humans do. Soshiro felt pretty stupid that he didn't realize it sooner but he'd be a liar if he said the feeling wasn't mutual.

That school dance became the day both began to start dating. Kafka would propose on the night after Soshiro took the Entrance Exams. And the two happily married a year before Hoshina was promoted to Vice Captain of the Third Division.

Both lovers kept Kafka's Kaiju nature a secret even when Soshiro reached such a high status. If someone would accidentally spot his lover, then the Hoshina always intercepted so he could flee. Kafka helps by using a decoy like a kaiju they have missed or using a dummy of sorts made from his old shedded skin. There was always a romantic and often spicy apology date the next night afterwards.

A status quo the Hoshina-Hibino couple enjoyed keeping as Soshiro rather wait before he has to defend his lover. He will raise a heavy blade for Kafka against the Defense Force should the truth come out. Sadly their luck would begin to run out.

It all started when Kafka's newest coworker discovered his secret. And it only goes downhill from there as a new breed of kaiju threatens to turn everything upside down. Though the couple will stand by each other's side when their peace begins to crumple.

Nobody was gonna tear Soshiro and Kafka apart so easily.

That's all I have for now. Please enjoy this little song that came to mind writing this.

@oxandthorn @yehehbd @nightfal1n @terra-sketches @iceclew @neo0w0 @discoknack @drmarune @renard-dartigue @giantgoblin @somnidraws @elephantthbig