#maybe be erased of everyone's mind just so they can't feel the pain that is losing me

[theseadolls]

I feel so empty.

[ghost-bison]

what actually rocks my shit with the moment ten finally hears the four knocks and realizes he's going to die anyway isn't just the look in his eyes - because bro, that was some damn good acting. no, it's also, mostly the fact that it's not just because he's going to die that he feels so sick. it's also because he realizes he has been on his guard, and paranoid for so long, and that in the end, nobody was out there to kill him. he's been paranoid over nothing. it made him act out of fear and do terrible stuff just to convince himself he could do anything including surviving, and that look in his eyes when he solves his case is one that says "it's always been you or them. it will always be you or them":

nine had to sacrifice his life to save rose's and then ten his happiness for hers.

donna begged him to let her stay but he couldn't bear to watch her die so he did something selfish and erased her memories against her will - not really just to protect her, but to protect himself from the pain and grief of losing her.

not that that's how he sees it. in his mind he probably thinks he did it for her.

then in waters of mars he comes back and saves three people who were supposed to die and someone knocks three times and he probably likes to think he's the one who averted a fourth one - because it would entail that he can do it: save himself and save them.

then it all comes crashing down that he can't when adelaide brooke offs herself - it's either him or them and it will always be them.

there he goes, last two episodes, resigned to his fate: he will confront the master and the drumming and die to save everyone.

but he survives.

and for a moment, everything shifts. maybe he can be happy. maybe he can find a way to bring donna's memories back without killing her. maybe he will see rose again.

finally, wilfred knocks, and it's the cruelest reminder - it will always be you or them. it will always be them.

[gojossocks]

We can't be friends

Gojo x Reader Summary: You decided to erase Gojo from your memory.

“Who is Gojo Satoru to you?”  

You shift uncomfortably in your seat, before giving the doctor a tight-lipped smile. “W-we were together for 6 years.” 

He’s no one important really, just the love of your life. 

There has been an on-going trend all over the world— technology has upgraded enough that you can erase someone entirely out of your memory, as if they’ve never existed. If they do, it wasn’t like how you knew them. 

You weren’t sure what dragged you in this clinic with all of the most important things that remind you of him. Maybe it was the way he ignored you like the plague, the way the familiarity in his eyes disappeared just earlier last week when he spoke to you so freely like you’ve never been together. It was clear that he got his memory of you erased after that incident. You were just another colleague. Perhaps, the pain in your heart is too much to handle. 

You don’t remember the way to the clinic that much. It was a surprise you even got there in one piece considering you were sobbing the whole way there. So even if you aren’t entirely sure whether you’re ready to let go of Satoru, you signed the consent form anyway. 

If he’s got you erased completely from your life, then what’s the point of living in hell remembering him? You didn’t want to mourn for someone alive and well. 

You never really understood why he left because everything was just working out between the two of you. Satoru provided you with no explanation and packed up his things to leave you behind to your own devices. You almost wanted to back out when you started reminiscing vividly of everything you once shared with him. 

You remembered falling in love with him, how it feels like the first day of spring, how his kisses taste like daylight. How he squeezes your hand three times before you part ways for a mission.  How he holds you like you’re the only thing that matters in his world. How it was always you and him against the world, him making you laugh while you tended to his wounds. He would tell you that everything would be okay because he has you and only you. 

The bad outweighed the good that you had forgotten that loving him and being loved with him is something that you never wanted to forget, even if your relationship with him crashed and burned. You don’t want him to be a stranger you can’t recognize anymore.

But it had already been done and everything faded into nothingness as you try to grasp with whatever you have left of him.

-.- 

You have been working with Gojo for quite some time now, maybe about six years. But you’ve never directly initiated conversations with him outside work. He’s the only one you don’t know much about in Jujutsu High. Today is no different as you’re waiting with him in the clinic for your mutual friend Shoko. 

“That’s a beautiful necklace you have there.” He acknowledges you for the first time since you got there. Even if you’re just a few meters away, he doesn’t talk to you. You find that a little bit weird because everyone tells you that he’s obnoxious and loud. Somehow with you, he’s always quiet. 

You didn’t remember much of how you got the necklace. You figured that the reason why Gojo’s asking about it is because it matches the color of his eyes. There was a hazy memory though— you were crying, telling a doctor to ‘let me keep it, please. Just this one.’ but you didn’t think much of it. Maybe it was all a dream. 

You responded with a laugh before toying with the pendant of the necklace. “Yeah, It was a gift to me.” 

“Oh?” He looked at you through his glasses, his intense gaze making you feel a little nervous. “Mind telling me who?” 

“I forgot.” You replied,  slowly relaxing in your seat while looking around at Shoko’s clinic. He nodded at you, a small smile adorning his lips and he didn’t say anything more. 

You missed the way his eyes linger on you for a moment before putting back his blindfold on or the apologetic look that Shoko gave him before he leaves. 

“So, who’s Gojo Satoru to you?” 

“He’s the strongest of course.” 

But to him, you’re still his everything—because he didn’t really remove you from his memory. Maybe if he was braver, you’d remember him. 

a/ n: part 2? :0

[nomsfaultau]

Hybrid AU in exile week where avian instincts can take over to a degree that is almost horrific, erasing someone’s personality and rationality when they’re panicking. First part here.

Slowly, Tommy loses his ability to properly react to pain. It doesn’t matter how it happened, a stray TNT blast or a slap from getting mouthy. Where once he would’ve responded with spitfire and anger, now he simply shuts down, trapped crying for his abuser. He is incapable of being soothed by anything but him.

Once, his abuser watched as his distressed chirping began, and then simply walked away. It was like he couldn’t think or move at all, frozen in place as he cried for help. Trapped in his instincts until his abuser finally came back much later. In the blurry cage of panic, Tommy remembers him just out of reach, silently watching his distress. Content to leave him imprisoned in it, even if Tommy was trapped in that tension for over an hour and each chirp hurt his sore throat. His entire body hurt so much after trembling for so long. The fact he’d been stuck like that for hours was terrifying. What if his abuser abandoned him for good, just like everyone else? Would Tommy be trapped crying forever? Tommy hates that he just let himself be defenseless, hates his abuser for leaving him like that for so long.

And yet Tommy can only seem to care about the rumbling mimics of coos vibrating the chest he was pressed to afterward.

Tommy goes through exile very confused, scared of the instincts that keep bursting out of him. They don’t match how he feels at all, like the happy little chirps that he tries to smother every time his abuser returns. Unless that’s how he really feels? He can’t tell. Everything gets so bad when his abuser is gone, until Tommy feels sick with yearning, with dread. Everything soothes when he’s around, knowing he promised to keep Tommy safe with the feathers he wears. All his confusion and fear is smothered by his avian instincts, just like his abuser planned.

Tommy is scared and feels like he’s losing control of himself. His solution is the tower, because maybe the instincts won’t notice since avians are supposed to like high places, even if he’s a pathetic excuse for one. He can't even fly, his abuser says he's too weak to. All he does is freeze up and make annoying chirping sounds that are headache inducing, just like every other sound Tommy makes.

But then he gets up, and the world is just so beautiful from a bird’s eye view. As the epiphany strikes about how his abuser is manipulating him and his instincts, it’s paired with this feeling like he’s ready to leave the nest. His abuser is wrong about everything, he’s strong and independent and capable. Finally his instincts are only boosting what he really feels, instead of fighting to keep him meek and reliant. His abuser was wrong, he can fly. His wings flair, ready to soar.

Tommy plummets.

His desperate flapping only barely saves him from immediately dying. Fragile avian bones snap on impact. He’s scared and depressed and in a lot of pain, so his instincts take over, eyes dilating and feathers fluffing up. Tommy probably could drag himself back to Logchestire and bandage himself up, but his instincts are overpowering and cause him to completely freeze. All he can do is chirp, but for once his abuser didn’t cause the pain so he’s not there to soothe Tommy’s panicked instincts. He’s not coming.

Or perhaps, he knew Tommy was trying to fly away, and decided to give him the independence he foolishly yearned for. His instincts knew he couldn’t survive on his own, needed someone to protect and nurture him. Why hadn’t he listened to them?

In some hazy back corner of his mind, Tommy hates that he’s like this. He knows no one is coming, and yet he can’t break out of the cage of his hatchling instincts. In trying to become free, Tommy only proved his abuser right about everything.

What Tommy doesn’t know is that in one of the grooming sessions his wings were clipped.

Next>

[enkvyu]

the world cries snow.

gojo lifts his foot out from the ground once more. the effort it takes is minimal but piled up repeatedly, the sorcerer only becomes more and more aware of how time consuming it really was.

this was no time to play around in the snow, he needed to find elsa.

“elsa!” he screams, but the fierce winds sweep away his desperate cries. he doubts she could even hear him, if he himself struggled to pick out his voice against the howls of winter.

but hope is a cruel thing, and his voice is torn and repaired over and over with his technique as he searches for elsa with her name.

he contemplates soaring the skies in search of her but erases it quickly from his mind. whilst it would be easier, his six eyes could distinguish her against the backdrop of a blizzard without difficulty, he worries if the sight of him might scare her away.

he had to be careful, he couldn't risk losing another friend due to his ignorance.

gojo trudges onwards, eyes seeking a familiar figure. he pushes aside a cluster of branches and comes face-to-face with a clearing in the forest.

as if fate had relented and granted his wish, his heart leaps with relief then drops in worry at what lay before him.

elsa kneels in the centre, hunched over the edge of a crystal-clear lake.

the beauty of the lake is lost on gojo as his eyes trains on her fragile body, trembling softly.

because the cold never really bothers her anyway, gojo doubts it was the chilly winds that shook her shoulders so.

"elsa." gojo says again, closing in. he watches as her body freezes at his voice, looking over her shoulder to meet his eye.

an electric current runs between them before elsa picks herself up hastily. "gojo! what are you doing here?"

a jolt of pain stabs through gojo's heart as he watches her wipe away half-frozen tears. "i came after you."

"you shouldn't be here." elsa laughs, but there isn't a trace of humour in the otherwise beautiful sound. "i bring danger wherever i go, you won't be safe with me. please, if you care about yourself or even me at all, please just leave me alone."

"wait, you have to listen to me, elsa."

"no! you listen to me, gojo. can't you see what i've done? haven't you seen how many people are in pain because of me? everyone looks at me like i'm a witch." then, quietly. "maybe i am one. but even then, my biggest fear is that you'll come to fear me."

"we can fix this." gojo persists, taking another step after the other. he doesn't miss the last part of her mumbling and hope warms the tip of his ears. "come back with me and we can show them that you aren't a threat."

"i can't."

"you can. it wasn't your fault."

"only you think that."

"and together we can make them all change their mind."

elsa hugs her arms closer. "it's hopeless. they won't believe me."

"i believe you."

"you aren't enough!" she snaps, whipping her head around to glare at him. "the look in their eyes told me enough, gojo. they don't want me there because i'm a hazard. and it's fine, really! i belong here anyway, in the snowy forest."

gojo balls his fists at his side. it pained him to think she didn't understand that she belonged with him. didn’t she feel their connection, the ignition when he draws too close, a sign that they were two kindled flames? together, they were destined to walk side-to-side.

so he tells her. "you belong with me."

elsa's eyes widen, and warmth colours her face. she opens her mouth to deny his words when she finally realises how close he had gotten. a rush of unidentifiable emotions encases her heart and the snowstorm rushing around them picks up in velocity.

"stop it, gojo! don't come any closer."

shit, gojo thinks. he should have been more subtle. still, he wasn't about to let this opportunity go to waste.

his hair dances furiously in the wild wind, and ice pelts his uniform over and over, pushing him back. his blindfold is taken by the gales, but he lets it happen. he gives up on coaxing, and takes big, demanding steps forward.

elsa tries to take a step back but the lake stops her.

"please, gojo." she cries and it really is such a beautiful sound, even when shaking with grief. perhaps he really was in danger, and elsa was a siren luring him in for a feast. even then, gojo believes he would walk right towards her as he was doing now, eyes and heart wide open for whatever she wishes.

he had long been enthralled into her trap.

elsa buries her head into her arms, palms pressed against her ears in an attempt to deafen her rebellious thoughts. "i can't hurt you too!" she pleads, withdrawing into herself.

if she hurt even the person who she held most dear, then what was she good for? though their separation would be a wound that never heals, a scab picked at time and time again, she thinks it might be better than this.

a hand grasps her arm and it's warm.

she looks up, eyes wet with unshed tears and finds herself staring into gojo's blue eyes. the shade of blue is startling and for a second, elsa relishes in the calm.

“you could never hurt me.” he promises and his voice is the only thing she can hear in the snow. with her heart beating in her ear, heat rushing to her cheeks, the blizzard around them seems to quieten.

a single tear rolls down her cheek. "how?"

gojo lifts his other hand and gently takes a hold of her’s. slowly, as if afraid she'll run away, gojo brings their interlocked hands up between them. then, he lets go.

panic surges through elsa. she had delusioned herself into thinking that without gojo, she would be okay. this selfless decision of hers was for the greater good, even though her heart throbbed in protest, she had pushed through regardless.

but when push comes to shove, elsa feels the empty hole that gojo's absence would leave, and realises she simply could not be without him.

she reaches forward with a start, then pauses.

her fingers stop centimetres away from his.

"see?" gojo says, a small smile blessing his face. "you can't hurt me because i'm the strongest."

"this is..."

"infinity. a convergence of infinite series so that anything that approaches is slowed down and never reaches." he turns off his technique and closes the gap, interlocking their fingers once more. "basically it means you could never hurt me, elsa. not in this lifetime and not even in the next."

hope is a cruel thing. it overwhelms elsa in seconds and she presses into the hold. the cruel emotion makes her gaze slow as she looks up at him. "then, that means, you're safe around me?"

"even if you did hurt me, did you think i would run away? i couldn't be away from you even if i tried."

“but i pushed you away! do you… do you still even want to be with me?”

the whistling snow picks up again, but it's a slow, dreamy pace that the ice takes on as it encircles the two.

“my place is with you.” he confesses.

"what are you saying? you better not be saying this just to calm me down."

"i'm not." gojo takes their connected hand to his lips and place a kiss to the back of her hand. "i love you elsa. always and forever."

that day, arendellian citizens would witness a sudden clearing of the sky and a lifting of the snow, clouds drifting apart and fading away to reveal the blue skies, a shade as blue as gojo's eyes.

tiktok has done numbers to my brain. dedicating this one to alice my biggest hater bc she has yet to see the vision :3 word dump + not proofread LOL

[theveryconfusedartistsart-blog]

1. I think it's like...if they make 99 good memories. If they “fill up” their memory store and then leave or die...then yeah#They can't make any more good memories anymore. But at least they won't be able to make bad ones anymore?#Chara was all too happy with erasing the good in their life as long that meant the bad was erased too#And maybe it's the same with everyone else too... no-one can hurt each other if they're dead right?...they also can't do anything else#either...their lives can't get worse but can't get better either but again Chara doesn't care they'll destroy the good in the world if it#also destroys the bad. The humans were “the bad” the monsters were “the good” and Chara was all too willing to kill the monsters if that#meant humans would die. Yes they never hated monsters even at the end of geno Yes I believe Chara loved them once. But for Chara hatred and#fear has always came before love. And this letter...it leads me maybe to think that harming humanity starting a war destroying things was #always their main plan. Not just for revenge. But because they heard level of violence would make them invulnerable to pain. Because humans#can't hurt them or the monsters if they're all dead. They didn't want all the monsters to die too. But they're still... weirdly fine with it#They'd rather a world with both humans and monsters dead. Than a world with both humans and monsters alive.#I don't think I'm saying...“Mind changed! I am now a Chara offender” but after everything we've learnt...can we really blame me for being i#a bit of a Chara offence phase. Maybe what I'm saying is “Damn! Chara offence got legs” ...I still don't necessarily think nochoco was righ#but they were almost definitely a bit righter than me and most the fandom thought. That make sense?

2.#Oh...#he really did reach a cap of good memories didn't he?#not because his brain got too full#but because eventually they stopped meaning anything to him anymore#just like a word losing its meaning once you've said it over and over and over#It's the same with level of violence... Noelle and Frisk and Chara didn't exactly want to kill to start with (I mean Frisk and Chara#hey look! I did a thing#accepted it (unlike Noelle) but they weren't exactly having fun) but once you've made enough bad memories they stop mattering anymore. They#being “bad”. they stop hurting you. But the thing is. It's not only violence you commit that does this right?... suffering repeated violence#also makes it matter less right? It still desensitizes you? It still counts towards your “bad memory” cap it still makes it easier to make#sorry I hijacked your post#and to commit violence. Maybe that's why Chara starts off quite a bit more okay with violence than Asriel and Noelle is? In Utdr the#violence you commit against others is a form of self harm too (you know though it also hurts others of course) explicitly meant to#desensitize you to the pain it causes. Chara (and maybe Frisk) consider that worth it. Noelle doesn't but you can still force her into it.#But either way once you've experienced way way more than anyone really should you'll reach a “cap” you'll stop feeling both good and bad#memories. Empty like Flowey keeps saying. Numb like Noelle's coldness stat. Free of sentimentality like Chara always wanted.#Noelle's friend is “another enemy” (though not when she realises it's him she still has a long way to go). Asriel's dad is “that stupid#king“ Chara's royal subjects are all ”the enemy“ Angel I wanna hug all three of them already. I'm willing to get stabbed or shot or frozen#for them. We don't hear anything directly from Frisk but the poor kid ended up killing almost all their (potential) friends too. They can#join the very dangerous hug too.#(Okay Noelle would only freeze me if she was told to but...yeah)

3. #“no-one can hurt anyone if they're all dead” destroys the world#but after all...Chara already considered being “erased from existence” better than living an unhappy life so maybe it makes sense#“the only place humans and monsters can get along is in heaven”/ref#once everyone is dead they'll all be free angel of death style

4. #Is it just me...or is there a thing of like ...if I was going to make sure nothing could hurt me...I wouldn't be able to be  friends with#Chara anymore?#If I didn't let the bad memories go I wouldn't be able to make good memories anymore?#so I can't count how many times they rope me into stupid plans or laugh off my suffering or scare me#No matter what they do I still hope we're friends because I don't want to be alone#I dunno man ...I know I'm contradicting myself a little here but like... I'm thinking#And I'm trying to think about what could actually be canon rather than just what I'd prefer for once#Chara lived with Asriel for multiple years we can guess that pretty easily...I want to trust Asriel when he says those years were happy ones #Do I though? I... don't know. Angel I don't Know! Why can't I just ask Toby Fox? I know HE has all the answers!

#5. Also...I started to make a post about this a while back... Level of violence is just emotional invulnerability not magical power#and they are right that no-one can hurt each other if the world no longer exists#But the truth is...when a child is hurt enough. Hurt over and over. They'll look for any way to make it stop.#And so then when this child learns that committing violence can quantifiably make them nigh invulnerable to any kind of pain...well...oops?#hope you're not too attached to the people around you... Because Chara certainly wasn't too attached to consider it (mass murder) an option

6. #dreemurr siblings#Again that's what happened... Asriel experienced so much that he can't feel anything anymore#he's invulnerable now or whatever#but he needs to let his walls down again. He needs to let himself feel again. This is the only way forward.#(Plus unlike Chara he's not happy that he can't feel anymore)#little prince#Also his stats both say infinity rather than 99999999 because he doesn't like the idea of a number cap no matter how big it is#it almost feels like a sign of respect for Chara to mark his stats down like that#hey look! I did a thing#brotp: angels or demons?#though I guess they might just be humouring him while secretly thinking infinite stats is completely stupid and goes against everything the#stand for. If you look in the code it's not actually true... he has very high but not infinite stats. He still has to deal with his#beloathed number caps. So Chara's... just saying that but it's not anything special for Asriel himself. Almost all the stats they give are#sorry I hijacked your post#fake (just not Sans's). The one person they give something special for (with regards to stats) is Undyne. 99 atk. 99 def. Because they#really admire her. Because they consider her the strongest monster in existence (She reached the cap!) Chara shows more care for Undyne tha#any of their family. They mourn Undyne's death but not really Asriel's (neutral route). Chara stalls on killing her in the murder run.#brotp: the true hero#Their killing intent goes up for Toriel (their mum!) but down for Undyne

7. #what a strange child...#Chara's favourite number is literally related to their trauma lol#I mean the kid really just said#hey look! I did a thing#9 is my favourite number because the idea of a number cap reassures me that one day i'll have suffered so#much that nothing can hurt me anymore#my favourite number is 9 because I need to believe there is a limit to what I can suffer and I want to deliberately acheive that limit#quicker than humanly possible#my favourite number is 9 so every time I hurt I can make myself better by pretending I'm one step closer to that imaginary limit.#to the moment that everything breaks down and I no longer have to exist#yeah...#and the funny thing is that Asriel (who has had a relatively good life) hears this and gets almost scared that there's a number cap on his#good memories maybe he's picked up on how much they still want to die still want to “erase themselves from existence” (it's not like Chara#kept it a secret) and that's why Asriel KNOWS how little time he has to spend with Chara and how little memories he can make before they#dissapear again “.#maybe if I just don't count the days the time won't pass anymore maybe we can stay in the garden forever. Maybe we never#have to leave. Oh angel please don't let them leave me. DON'T LET THEM LEAVE ME”  but hey...maybe i'm just projecting! Who knows?” #(Also this whole thing reads like an eulogy even as he hopes they'll still be there years and years later like he's already mourning them.#Like he expects them to be gone any minute. Like he lives his life fearing that one day he'll wake up and they'll just be a rotting corpse#in the bed next to him. And everything he does is to please them and make them happy so that that won't happen)#Fun fact! If it ever comes out that Chara was lying about being suicidal I am gonna reach through the screen and murder them

8. #relevant to Asriel's letter#This is why Chara wants LOVE#to numb their pain both physical and mental#once you've seen the light fade from your mother's eyes broken bones don't hurt much anymore compared#nothing hurts anymore because there's nothing worse than that#the crazy thing is that because of that...Chara wants to see their loved ones die. They actively want to put themselves through that pain#until everything numbs. They want to hurt themselves and the world so badly that it reaches a quantity overload and just breaks.

(There you have it, many slightly contradictary slightly repetitive tag rambles, mostly made in one day)

You were right, these are vaguely insane ramblings and I respect all of it.

Here's to BFF and sibling bonds so strong that you end up literally dying with them and sharing each other's trauma.

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

Ashes Burn (Chapter 3) Dark!Aemond x AFAB Reader

🔷Summary: Aemond takes your town and you become his.

🔷Author's note: I don't mess around with the dark aemond tag. Watch your step please.

🔷Wordcount: 6052

Warnings below the cut but mind your step!

RATING: EXPLICIT, 18+ MDNI!!!!!

Warnings: Death, gore, got sexism, got violence, dubcon, thigh riding, slight smut, degrading, blood. violence and trauma. Read at your own risk, dead dove do not eat or something among those lines.

STORY BEGINS HERE

That very same evening, your father is to yield the castle to Aemond. You are present and dressed properly for the occasion, happy to see your father out of his chains. At least, the chains are not present, but that does not mean he’s a free man. No one in your family is free anymore.

The dress your servants have selected is an emerald green one with black details of roses and thorns. It is quite the revealing gown, and you know that is why Aemond approved of it. He can't take his good eye off you, as it constantly wanders to you, one way or another, as a moth drawn to the flame.

The ceremony occurs on a big square in the village. There are flower decorations that have quickly been gathered by your servants to make some effort. Perhaps for the fallen, perhaps to show Aemond they can be loyal, and they do not need to be killed yet. Maybe both.

It is sickening in a way, seeing so many flowers rooted safely from their grounds to honor such a horrible man. The faces of those who he fed to his dragon are still on your mind. They haunt you, in a way.

Blood still can be seen between the tiles on the ground. It would be a while to clean it, if it ever would be clean again.

The food is good and delicious but you as a Prince's pet are allowed only to eat what Aemond has approved of. You wistfully look at the delicious cake that his commanders and generals eat.

You can't help but stare and wonder, your tummy rambling. You would love a piece of cake too. It looks delicious even from a distance. The prince catches your glance and follows it, scowling more and more every single moment. ‘’What is it, my pet?’’

There is plenty of cake for everyone. You know so. And you are starving. So, you force yourself to become a little braver and a little bolder. A little more vocal too. ‘’I would like a piece too.’’ You declare.

His lips slowly press together in a disapproving way. It tells you all you need to know. Your shoulders hang, the sting of rejection cuts deep. ‘’That cake is for my men.’’ Aemond says and his voice tells you enough.

You notice there is some disgust and perhaps even jealousy there. Quickly you turn your eyes away from other men as Aemond's brows become threatened, worried, jealous.

You don't know why he thinks you'd be even interested in anyone at this moment. Your heart is being tested. Because it bleeds in ways you never imagined.

Not for yourself.

Not even for your own family and friends.

Just for the innocent people that died at his hands. 

But you are a coward.

You are worried he might kill even more if you won't comply. So you do. Even if it hurts you and goes against your nature.

The cake looks tastier every passing moment. ‘’I am aware. I just thought...perhaps you can make them share?’’ You suggest your voice soft, trying to play him. ‘’I liked the cupcakes you arranged-’’

Despite his laugh and despite the chuckle, you see a dark dangerous glimmer in his good eye. He is warning you. ‘’Let them have their cake, little lamb. Be glad it's not you on that table that's being shared.’’ You understand what Aemond means.

You should be glad and grateful for his protection and his claim. This does not erase the pain of being his trophy but his claim makes sure that none of those so called ‘heroes’ bother you. 

His slender hands grab your hips before firmly sitting you down on his lap, his arms strangling your stomach, pushing you almost inside him. He brings his lips to your ear when his hands feel up your dress. You feel ashamed he does this in front of your friends and servants and try to stop him. He only grabs you tighter at that, enjoying this game. ‘’A lamb fights the dragon.’’ He murmurs, grinning madly. ‘’You can resist and fight all you like. Just don't cry when I put you in your place for your treason.’’ You recall his punishment. How you were whipped before after he stripped and bended you on the table.

How you almost came when he fucked you with his fingers. 

You must avoid that at all costs.

‘’My Prince. I meant no offense. It was a silly question.’’ You stutter, a little foolish, staring at your hands. Aemond sinks back in the chair that serves as his throne.

He stares a little too long at your nippels watching them harden under his icy touch. You hear his lips smack. ‘’It was. You'll learn soon to stop asking silly questions. I have little patience for stupid girls.’’ You are worried.

You are known to ask silly questions a lot. And worse, if you can't ask him things how will you know what to do? It is risking punishment by asking or by doing the wrong thing by accident.

To one of your servants he nods. You know her by the name of Darla. She is from the Crown lands and has been with your family for some time. She makes a small curtsy for the prince before bowing her head and addressing him. ‘’Your highness. Is there something I can do for you?’’ She asks terrified. You can tell by her trembling hands.

You bet she is worried Aemond might touch and claim her too.

Aemond grabs the goblet he drinks from and dryly turns it upside down, watching as a single drop of red wine splashes on the tiles below.

You watch, as it spreads in a familiar bloody color. However hard you try, your eyes are as clued to the spot. ‘’Get me more wine. And fetch me a piece of a cake. I am hungry.’’ You hear Aemond's voice far away and your breathing increases.

Moments pass yet it feels like years. Aemond is handed a piece of cake on a silver plate and his goblet is hastily filled with wine. He puts you back on his lap and your trance is broken as you once again find yourself on his lap.

Aemond cuts the cake in small pieces and you watch as he brings the pieces to his mouth, taking proper gentle bites. He is a prince after all. He can be so charming...

When he wants to be. And that is exactly what makes him so dangerous.

The prince eats the cake while your stomach rumbles.

‘’It's good.’’ He grins. You notice his eye shimmers with pure sadism at your hunger. Perhaps it's your pain that turns him on. Perhaps it's the power he has over you. One of the two, makes the prince lusty.

Aemond takes another bite and while you don't doubt it's delicious you doubt it's so good that he can moan. ‘’Mhm…’’ there it is again, that foreign strange sound. 

You stare at your hands, at a loss for words and actions. You doubt there is much you can do.

‘’Look at me when I eat.’’ The prince barks suddenly at you. You nod hastily and look at the prince while he eats the cake.

Your stomach roars a little louder causing him to chuckle. When he has finished the cake, you are hungry. Aemond holds the plate in front of you, careful to avoid losing crumbs. ‘’You may have the crumbs.’’ The way he speaks remembers you of your losses. You have lost your title and are nothing more than his pet now. 

You feel the heat rise to your cheeks again as you stare at the plate. Ashamed. You reach out to a big crumb of cake on the plate. You need to convince yourself to allow this. You are hungry. Who cares about you eating a crumb?

That is until Aemond grins and smacks your fingers the moment they touch the crumbs. You cry out, quickly removing your fingers hurt written in your eyes. He chuckles. ‘’I didn't say you could use your fingers. There is another body part of yours that I want you to become agile and mobile with.’’ You tilt your head in confusion. 

He stares at your lips. ‘’Your tongue. You will lick up all the crumbs. After that, you can clean my plate for me. And after that, we'll see.’’ You would have preferred silverware.

Aemond takes big gulps of his cup quickly emptying it for a second or a tirth time that night.

There is one reason why he wants you to become more agile. He wants you to use your tongue to pleasure him. You have no experience doing such a thing but take his advice. Any practice that might save you discomfort and pain is welcome.

And you know better than to keep him waiting. You lower your head and as a pig, you start to collect and lick his crumbs off the plate. Aemond groans in pleasure when you softly gasp as he touches your back.

He grabs hold of your hair, dragging you closer. And then, he tilts it slightly so he may reach your lips. And before you can push him away he softly kisses your neck, sucking deeply, harshly marking you by biting down the sensitive skin as you whimper at his mercy.

Aemonds breath quickens alone at that sound and your eyes search for help among the crowd of drinking spectators and soldiers. Not one soul comes to your aid.

No servant or soldier.

No enemy or friend.

The worst part is, you see people judge you for his actions. Your stepmother is disgusted judging by the look in her eyes.  Her daughters look on as well yet you aren't sure if they would hate or pity you for what happens.

You are too afraid to look at Diandra. You know she'd be furious, letting yourself be touched by the animal that is Aemond Targaryen.

And your father?

You can't look at him either.

You lower your eyes. He leans in closer before wiping your lips clean and the corners of your mouth. ‘’Good little pet. I hope you enjoyed your cake.’’

A response is wise, you know that.

‘’It was delicious, my prince. Although I would have preferred a bigger portion.’’ It does not matter what you intended to say, he takes it as an insult.

The prince glares at you, forcing his nails into your skin to punish you so no one can see. ‘’Do not make me punish you, little ungrateful thing. Not the way I had you punished this very afternoon. You finally stopped bleeding. Do not make me rip open your pretty skin again.’’ He laughs at the end of his sentence, and you close your eyes, reliving his punishment.

You don't want that. You scold yourself and tell yourself to be quiet unless spoken to for now on.

A familiar face walks up to you and Aemond. It's the Dornish commander Diandra tried to kill. ‘’Prince Aemond. A word?’’ His voice is gentle and kind yet strict. 

You know Aemond does not want you around for this conversation.  ‘’You can speak freely within her presence. I will break her will fully tonight.’’ There is only so much you can bear.

New tears fall as you take a shaky breath. ‘’I shall wait for you, my prince.’’ You announce when freeing yourself from his grip and his lap.

A rough smack on your behind causes you to yelp out loud and for the prince to iron his grip. He whispers in your ear. ‘’You don't decide when you leave, little pet. Not anymore. I want you here. I want you to warm my lap. I want to count your tears and hear you whimper.’’

You try to find comfort. He relaxes, letting you be more free on his lap. ‘’That's better. Apologize to the commander for wasting his time and my own.’’ He tells you with a tug at a fistful of your hair.

You cry out, quickly blurting an apology. ‘’I am so sorry.’’ You say.

Aemond and the Dornish commander ignore you both, making you feel even more worthless. ‘’What did you want?’’ Aemond asks. He does not sound annoyed. Just curious.

The Dornish commander folds his hands in front of him, barely glancing at you when you softly sniffle at Aemond's lap.

The hands of the prince run down your knees, touching you when listening patiently to the words of the commander. ‘’We found an orphanage. We found traitors and rebels among the children, hiding behind a wardrobe.’’

Despite it being his duty you can tell he does not want to tell Aemond this. The prince's head goes up and down in understanding as he becomes very quiet.

‘’How many traitors and how many orphans are we speaking of?’’ Your blood becomes cold as you recall the faces of many innocent children who already endured the seven hells themselves. You know the orphanage. Your father was the patron.

You don't know how many traitors there are. Or how many children call it their home. But you know that every child that dies is one too many. ‘’Around 50 traitors and twice as many orphans. Children from all ages.’’

You need to help them. And you know how. Aemond is not a stupid man. His worst fear is likely running out of supplies. So if you offer to handle that, the reason to spare the children grows. ‘’Perhaps we can do something for them? We can invite the children inside the castle. We will use the supplies of my house, my prince. You should not let this bother you.’’ You tell him.

Aemond only cocks his head at you. He leans back his fingers dancing on the armrests of the chair. ‘’You speak out of turn, little pet. Stand up.’’ You gulp.

Your own father watches as you stand up, together with his men and other people you have known all your life. They all watch as you tremble and cry, whimper and beg. Your begs go unanswered.

You feel the smack a few moments later, on your behind. And the hiss of his voice. ‘’Sit back down.’’ That is enough to make you obey.

The commander leaves at the point of disgust. You don't know what will happen to the children now and are worried for the smirk that grows on Aemond’s lips, becoming bigger every moment that passes by.

Aemond lifts your chin. ‘’I will deal with them accordingly. You don't decide a thing anymore. From the way you dress, to the way you will fall asleep.’’ He tells you coldly. ‘’And no one will care. You are a bastard. A dirty bastard. You have nothing. Why shouldn't I take you? Hm? Who possibly could defend you? No one. You're all mine.’’ He growls.  ‘’I killed your brother, your father is in chains and no one,’’ Your gaze drops for a mere moment, intimidated and hurt by his words. So he punishes you by pinching your skin until you gasp.  ‘’No one will save you from me.’’ To prove his point, he leans in a little closer before locking eyes with you and licking your cheek.

You whimper.

You notice a familiar face in the crowd subtly approaching. He pretends to fill cups and to collect plates of drinking officers and soldiers alike. But you see the hatred in his eyes burning like a wildfire.

He is a soldier, a guard your father trusted. You know him by the name of Daros. He has always been very protective of your family and you can imagine he is up to no good.

It would be satisfying watching Daros kill Aemond. Until his soldiers kill Daros in return. You can count. You have done the math. Daros can not outwit and outrun the soldiers that Aemond has.

You worry your face might betray what you know about Daros and quickly stare at your hands as Aemond puts you a little firmer on his lap, rubbing your naked arms and wiping away some remaining salvia on your cheeks. 

Aemond stares you down and nods to his cup that is standing close by on a table. You stand up for him and reach for the cup, handing it faithfully to him with your head lowered. He chuckles at your display of submission and fear, enjoying every little moment of it. ‘’Pet, you should be careful with your body. It is a weapon you don't know how to wield yet.’’  You don't know what he means yet you nod.

He inspects the cup, holding it upside down. ‘’Pet, the cup is empty.’’ He tells you. Panicked, you glance around for a pitcher or a servant. And your eyes light up when you look at your home. Perhaps, perhaps he lets you go and you can fill a pitcher inside and run far far away.

The servant girl that helped earlier has wisely fled and you doubt she's coming back. You hope she escaped.

‘’I shall fetch a pitcher-’’ Before you set a foot his guards are alarmed and he has grabbed you by your hair, painfully dragging you back to him, forcing you on your knees like a disobedient dog.

You stare at his boots, the same boots you were forced to kiss earlier and can't help but tear up, gulping. Aemond still holds your hair as a leash. You hear him chuckle as he tugs, wrapping your hair around his hand, causing it to tangle painfully.

He makes a disapproving little sound. ‘’No, little pet. No breaks for you. You'll stay. You'll stay right here and warm my lap for me. You have plenty of pretty useless kitchen sluts who can fetch me wine.’’ They are no sluts. They are women. You doubt he knows the difference. 

Dramatically, Aemond sits down and forces you back on his lap. Daros has approached silently and is busy with attending the soldiers closest to Aemond now. His own personal guard.

Your breath quickens and you pray to the gods that Aemond does not notice. That he can't read you that well. Because if he does it might fail. And Daros could die.

You must avoid looking at both at all costs. Aemond is luckily used to that so you avoid looking at him. But he is no idiot. ‘’So tense, my little pet. Are you worried about tonight?’’ He whispers, kissing your earshell as you shudder on his knee. ‘’I have been picturing you on your back since I met you. You, the sheep being conquered by the dragon.’’

Images are formed in your head as Aemond keeps kissing you, images of you wearing nothing with him atop of you.

You squirm until you feel something move over your wet sex. The prince moves his leg, stimulating you with a sly grin on his lips. You endure it, shocked at the nerve of him to do this in front of everyone...

And shocked that you like it.

You don't want to like it however. You should hate everything this man does with you. Aemond grins as he repeats the process, lazily fucking you on his thigh. ‘’If you do your best, I might keep you alive.’’ He murmurs, as your pleasure is building.

You are speechless and light in your head, overwhelmed by many emotions. ‘’I will do my best.’’ And that's all you can do. That is the worst part of it all. You can do your best and be the best pet there is, and he'd still kill you. Part of you knows it. Part of you has always known it.

The prince seems pleased as you softly press your lips together to avoid a whimper as he fucks a little rougher. ‘’I hope your best is good enough, then.’’ You hesitantly touch his leg, feeling the warmth of his body.

You want to ride him back.

You want to touch him back.

Not to reward him. But to dull your own pain with pleasure.

You have experience with touching yourself but that does not even come close to the hype and excitement it gives your body when someone else touches you.

You roll your hips to his leg, lost in the moment...Until he sharply stops you and you are left with nothing. ‘’No. You had enough.’’ He decides, suddenly with a twisted grin on his lips. You can't help but glare at him. He chuckles amused. ‘’Pleasure is something you have to earn, little pet. I won't make you come out of the goodness of my heart. If you want to come and be a good girl and soak my cock, fingers or whatever else I may fuck you with, you best behave.’’

At that point, Daros comes over and fakes a subtle bow. ‘’My prince.’’ He begins. ‘’I have orders from Ser Criston Cole to escort you to the traitors.’’ He says. One look into his eyes and you can tell he is lying.

Aemond simply leans back in the chair, rubbing your wet needy sex lazily. ‘’Can't you see I'm busy, you-’’ His eye widens as he realizes something. ‘’Didn't I see you on the battlefield?’’

You freeze unintended. The rubbing stops. You wish him to continue it. You subtly try to grab his fingers but he only needs to glare at you to make you behave.

Daros first reaction is stupid as well. It's the worst thing he could have said. ‘’I- You're mistaken.’’ A clear lie.

Aemond huffs at that stupid little lie and you worry for Daros’s life. ‘’Am I? I do miss one eye, that is true. Perhaps that is why my other eye tries very hard to capture as many details as possible. Like you, standing on the tower of the wall as a coward when I sliced her brother up.’’ You recall that moment all too well.

The shameful color that spreads on Daros cheeks proves that Aemond is right. ‘’Let her go. She is innocent.’’ He protests softly. 

You aren’t sure why he cares about you in general.

Aemond laughs, a haunting hollow sound. ‘’Not for long, I promise you.’’ You know what he means. He means to take away your innocence.

That is taking it too far by Daros standards. He has never been one to deal with injustice in the right healthy way. Anger gets the better of him, risking both of your lives.  ‘’You fucking bastard! You think you're entitled to everything. Our people, our food, our lady. What did she do to you? What did she do?’’ He demands an answer.

Instead of giving one, Aemond pushes you on the ground by his feet.  ‘’Kneel.’’ He barks at you as his guards restrain Daros. You obey.

‘’Deeper.’’.

You go deeper; hurting your kneecaps on the cold stone tiles.

‘’Kiss my boots.’’ You nod, a single tear rolls down your cheeks as you obey his command leaving two kisses on his boots. He grins. 

‘’Please spare him.’’ You beg. ‘’He's part of the household, he can't die.’’ You hope he will have mercy.

Until you see that Aemond has stopped smirking and glares at Daros jealousy clearly written across his face. ‘’Do you love him pet?’’ He spits out. 

You gawk, unsure where this is coming from. You don’t understand why Aemond would care, nor why it is brought up. You look at Daros and see something unfamiliar in his eyes. A gentle spark of hope that can enlight in a fire of bravery any moment with the right words. A fire that will kill you both.

He is in love with you.

But you are not in love with him.

You are worried Aemond would kill him.

So you admit to the truth, no matter how heartless it makes you seem. ‘’No, my Prince. I desire no man but you.’’

He is relieved at that although he won't admit it ever. ‘’But you do love her, hm? That is why you really interfered. You wish her ass was on your lap, hm?’’ He grins at Davos. ‘’I can have her do the most delicious things to herself and me. Things you likely dreamt of for years.’’ 

‘’So what if I do? It won't change things.’’ ‘’I knew she was forbidden fruit. She should not be punished for my crimes. I am the one who tried to lure you-’’

Aemond interrupts him by punching him in the gut, burying his fist deeply, so deeply you worry for Daros spitting out the lunch he had. You gasp shocked at this brutal display. Daros is thrown on his knee and Aemond changes the assault to kicking his face, stomach and other parts of his body. Daros only response is a sickening little whimper and a heartbreaking grunt.

You are grabbed too by another guard, held when Aemond makes his way to the masses of people that have gathered here today. You hope it will be peaceful. He has what he wants. He should show mercy.

But you know this man too well by now.

Your father is brought forward in chains. Your stepmother is treated respectfully as are her daughters. They remain dressed and well. Unlike you who is touched by prince Aemond a lot. But he too has not yet removed your gown.

Your father barely looks at you when he is marched forward by Aemonds guards. You feel horrible as Aemond grabs you as his prized trophy and puts you by his side presenting you smirking to your father. ‘’You made a lovely girl. I will make good use of her when we warm your bed.’’ Your stomach turns at the little possessive squeeze he gives your behind.

His men laugh, you don't know why. It is not funny. ‘’You are a despicable disgusting man, Aemond of house Targaryen.’’ Your father answers, his eyes never leaving Aemond’s. ‘’Killing a man by stabbing him in the back, and taking a woman as your spoils of war. You have no shame nor honor in that body of yours.’’

Aemond is insulted. ‘’This is war in case you failed to notice. You choose the wrong side.’’ It can't be that simple. It never is that simple. War is like a coin. It has multiple sides.

Your father spits at his feet and Aemond barely avoids it. ‘’So behead me for it and be done with it.’’ He growls out, done with playing Aemonds games.

Aemond is shocked.

He seems taken back, and embarrassed. But that changes quickly into anger and fury. Instead of hitting your father, he grabs you. You already wail before he has laid a finger on you. ‘’Pet. I have a fun little task for you.’’ He mutters in your ear as you shake.

You know what he wants.

‘’Please grant me the privilege of a bedroom if you must-’’ your stutters are interrupted.

He chuckles amused that your mind went there. ‘’Sh, filthy minded pet. We shall do nothing of the sort here. I have something else in mind than fucking that little warm wet cunny of yours.’’

Your father is forced to kneel. He is to be executed. ‘’Please, good people. Consider bending the knee to this tyrant. If you don't, He will likely kill you all. We must pray to the gods that justice can be found one day. And to the women in this town, I regret that I failed you.’’ 

Aemond waits for more words but none come. So he folds his hands on his back and gives his men the order. ‘’Surround her well.’’

You understand that's you. You turn and watch as the guards form a circle around Aemond and your father and you. You hear the sound of steel being pulled and Aemond presents you with the same sword you were forced to lick. The sword that killed your brother. 

And…

He hands it to you.

Your first impulse is to run him through. But he wears armor. He has guards around him and it would accomplish nothing. Vhagar looms from the opposite side of the square, and you know if she were to see Aemond die, she would roast everyone in this town alive.

So what does he want you to do? Is this meant as a cruel test?

Another thought makes itself into your head. A thought so dark and cruel that you gasp audibly. ‘’What am I to do with this?’’ You ask your voice soft.

He only smirks, confirming your worst fears.

You stare at your father, still on his knees. You hear the sound of something clattering against the floor and understand you must have dropped the sword by accident. He can't mean that.

To kill your own father...

He can't be that cruel....

Can he?

Your hand is forced open and a sword is pushed back in. Aemond's sword. ‘’I want you to make  that little disgusting piggy that sits at our feed scream.’’ He whispers. ‘’I want your hands and gown bloodied.’’ He adds rasping with clear arousal.

‘’I-I can't.’’ You protest straight away. ‘’I'd be a Kinslayer. I'd be cursed! And furthermore...I am a lady. And do you want your enemies to hear that you had me execute him rather than yourself?’’ All lies you don't care for. All lies to hopefully distract him. You don’t want your father to die. You already lost so much today.

Aemond sighs, disappointed you don’t like his idea.

‘’You have the choice. You can kill him, or I will kill all of these people gathered here.’’ He can't mean that. You have to hope for your faith in humankind that he can't be that cruel. 

But you saw it before at the gates.

He is truly that cruel. He didn't stop the battle when he could. He didn't play fair when he could. He did not show mercy. He showed fire. And he showed blood.

You understand you have a choice. Save your father, or save the town. Your father speaks up, his voice touched by emotions. He knows what you will pick. And funny, so did you. You knew the moment you were presented the choice, there was no real choice. Not really. Not when your father has spent his life protecting Dolkburg.  ‘’Y/N.’’ Your father mutters.

So you must kill him. No matter how much it will hurt your soul. No matter that you become a orphan. ‘’Daddy I am so sorry.’’ New tears roll down your cheeks. 

He shakes his head firmly, but yet he cries nonetheless. Every tear is a blow to your heart. ‘’Don't be. Do what you must child. No one will blame you for this. Do what you must to survive. To make the people of Dolkburg survive.’’

You can only nod. Speaking hurts. Thinking hurts. Living hurts.

‘’I think we will meet again soon, child.’’ When Aemond tires of you. Or when you maybe get pregnant. That is when he will get rid of you.

You turn to face Aemond, sobbing. He gleefully grins, looking back and forth between your father and you. ‘’Well, pet? Have you made your choice?’’ Where is the fair choice? Where is the good choice?

‘’Yes.’’ You nod but you can't stop your hands from shaking. You place the blade on your father’s neck, the way you saw him do with many criminals that dared to oppose him. And now he is executed on the orders of the worst criminal of all. A war criminal.

You want to execute him, in a clean manner. But Aemond coughs sharply, startling you. ‘’Ah, no. I don’t want a quick clean execution. You will hit his pressure points and make him bleed out.’’ A horrible slow and torturous death.

You never heard of ‘pressure points’. Aside from feeling grief stricken you also now feel dumb.‘’How shall I kill him?’’ You ask Aemond as you take in your father's closed eyes and his peaceful almost corpse-like appearance.  As if he has already departed this world.

Aemond’s fingers point to the wrists, the neck, the heart, and the gut area. ‘’Just do what feels right, little pet. He is your canvas, the sword is your brush. His blood is your paint. Make me a masterpiece.’’

At his command, you start by the throat and drive the sword all the way in, causing the flesh to part as a whale opening its mouth.Blood streams out of your fathers throat and there is a small comfort that he dies fast.

Your father drowns in his own blood in front of you spitting and swallowing it as you fall to your own knees, your hands covered in blood. Aemond laughs. ‘’You are all dismissed. Have some fun. Get drunk. As long as you are in the right state tomorrow.’’ He tells his guards. They take off running into the village, likely looking for any innocent bystander to grab.

Eventually, you watch as your servant girls are bothered by the soldiers, first gently but when they dont respond they are hit, bruised, and dragged off inside. You quickly turn to Aemond horrified as he ignores what his men do. ‘’No! No! make them stop.’’

He does not move a muscle.

‘’No, I won't. They deserve a nice reward. What's a better reward than a woman?’’ He asks. You are insulted that he thinks they deserve anything and especially a woman. A woman is not a reward.

‘’They are not their rewards. They are  good. Stop this. Please…’’ You see Aemond only turn his head away from the scene, careless.

Finally, he too snaps. ‘’I won't give you what you want. You are my pet, I decide for you. You can whine and beg and cry all you like but in the end I am the prince and you the dirty bastard.’’

‘’Be thankful I will fuck you tonight. If I had not, you'd be just like them. Tell me pet, do you prefer me or them in your innocent little untouched cunny?’’ When you remain silent he squeezes you to make you talk.

You look at his boots.

‘’You.’’ You confess softly in tears. You would prefer one man over six any day. Prince Aemond is cruel but he is a prince. You hope he has some consideration and decorum for your statue as maiden.

He laughs pleased.

‘’Such a good girl when needs be. Yes. You would hm? What scares you most?’’

There is no point in lying about it. ‘’The pain.’’ Yet you do so anyway. 

‘’No. Pain does not scare you. You would not enjoy defying me the way that you do if it did.’’ He is too observant.

You sigh. ‘’That I'll...like it. That I'll enjoy what you'll do to me.’’

‘’Having a woman in my bed is one thing, little pet. But I live to bend and shape her into submission. I want my women deranged and hungry for me. I want them to be mindless little objects for me to fuck my seed out on. Do you understand?’’ Seven gods..

‘’What you describe is so horrible. Don't you want for your women to ..to touch and love you back? Is that not the point of sharing one's bed? To feel loved?’’

‘’Spoken like a true maiden. You'll say different things once you experienced what it is like to have a man inside of you.’’

Aemond’s attention turns to Daros who is still held by one of the guards that Aemond did not dismiss yet. ‘’So. You dreamt of touching what belongs to me, hm? Even tried to kill me too.’’ He says.

Daros spits as a answer. 

Aemond punches him on his nose, likely breaking it by the sound and look of it. Daros hisses in pain. You watch as Aemond turns around to you. ‘’Pet. I think it is time you and me have some fun.’’ You can’t help but be aroused by his words. You hate it.

His glare hardens as he looks back at Davos, grinning when blood drips from his nose. ‘’And this little traitor, this little shit. He will watch me do what he wanted to do to you for years.’’

----

a/n: hes so mean and for what he already won. Oh well.

[blackcatwritings]

Safe Place (Julian x Reader)

Summary: After you saved the world, Julian wakes up from a nightmare, old demons in his eyes. You're here for him but your own doubts aren't far.

Warnings: Nothing worse than what you get in the game : Quick allusion to Julian's canon trauma (non-graphic), the reader is a little anxious at one point but overall it's comfort and sleepy fluff. Cuddles and kissing but nothing NSFW. Spoilers for Julian's route but if you're reading this you might already have finished the route.

Info: Reader is gender neutral. No use of pronouns besides you/your. No mention of skin, eyes or hair color, form or texture but Reader is said to have hair. If you squint, Julian could be interpreted as taller than the reader at one point.

It starts with small but quick movements besides you, then you hear a breath quicken. You're still tiptoeing between being asleep and being awake but something is telling you to wake up.

"Don't... I can.. Save..." The voice is familiar but it's the pain you can hear in it that wakes you up abruptly.

Sleep is still making your eyelids heavy but you turn anyway to see Julian still asleep, his face so tense you're surprised he hasn't awaken yet. You hesitate only an instant before your hand finds his shoulder, shaking it gently.

"Julian."

He sits up quickly, startled, his eyes searching the dark room frantically until they find yours. He exhales, his shoulders loosing a fraction of the tension they hold. You're not entirely sure of what you see in his eyes but his left hand moving to gently cup your face attract your attention. His other hands finds your shoulder and he brings you in a hug. You put your arms around him, it's almost automatic now. As you're still fighting to stay awake only with the strength of your worry for him, the comfort of his arms is welcome.

His breath is still too sharp for your liking so you rub soothing circles on his back.

"I'm here, you're safe, we're home." You say softly, just loud enough for him to hear.

His breath quietens ever so slightly. You wait a few instants more but he stays silent, still holding you for dear life. Bottling it up as usual. Your sleepy mind consider a moment about not asking him what's wrong to not cross a boundary but you're barely able to form a coherent thought right now. You settle on some encouraging words letting him choose what he wants to do with what troubles him.

"Wanna tell me what bothers you?"

Silence follows, just long enough for you to doubt he will even answer, before his voice reach your ears, softer and less assured than usual.

"Bad memories. The plague."

Your thumbs stop the soft rubbing on his back. The plague. You might not have a lot of memories from that time but you do remember when it almost came back. The devil's sick smile flashes into your mind, his laugh seems to overwhelm your ears for an instant and you grip Julian a little more tightly.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Julian voice sounds remorseful and you wonder how he can still find the emotional strength to pay attention to your state while he is clearly in distress.

"You didn't. Unless you're secretly the devil or something." You tone of voice is vaguely playful but you're too tired to prevent the sinking feeling in your stomach. You beat the devil but that didn't mean you didn't have doubts at one point. Julian could have gotten hurt. So could have everyone that fought that day. You're vaguely aware that you wouldn't feel that bad if you had enough sleep but the thought quickly fades away.

You feel his lips turn into a small smile in the crook of your neck. "I'm not."

The silence falls in between you again but you don't let it take root.

"We're in this together, huh?" You say slowly as Julian's hands play with your hair absently. "We can't erase our past and neither of us wants to overwhelm the other with our darkest fears but maybe we can support each other as we deal with our own troubles."

Julian hums in agreement before he gets a little farther from you to see your face. You see him attempt his usual rogue smile but you know him enough to see right through it.

"Sure there isn't a magic spell that would give me the ability to take all of your troubles away? I'm used to trouble, I'm trouble. I can handle it, I'm strong enough."

You know he is only half joking.

"So am I." You raise you hand to cup his cheek and he melt into your touch, his eyes closing to enjoy the sensation.

"I guess then I'll have to simply use another way of helping, maybe I could start with cuddles." He says as he brings you closer.

You let your head fall to his shoulder.

"You're the one who had a nightmare, I'm the one doing the supporting right now." You say playfully, happy to see him acting more like himself.

He pursues his lips like if he' was deep in thought.

"Well, you're right. Then maybe you could try kissing me. Maybe it would help make me think about better things..." A twinkle in his eyes makes you hopeful.

You draw a finger to his cheek to gently push his face towards yours so your lips can meet. The kiss is soft and sleepy until Julian's hand cups your face to deepen it.

When you break the kiss, Julian follows up with a gentle kiss to your nose, then your forehead and you let your head fall to his shoulder once more. They feel more relaxed now and his frowns seems lighter. You listen to his breath and let out a satisfied little sigh when you realize it's deeper and more regular. Not yet calm, but that's already progress.

"You know you can talk to me right?" You said again and he nods.

"Tomorrow? I think we could use some sleep before talking about upsetting things." He kisses the top of your head as he starts to lay down again, gently taking you with him.

You lay down, your head resting on his chest where one of your hands traces circles slowly.

"You're sure you can sleep again so soon?"

Julian smiles, moving slightly to find a more comfortable position while staying close to you. He brings the cover back over your bodies.

"With you by my side? There's nothing I couldn't do. Not even sleeping" His voice sounds assured even if his eyes are still a little unfocused.

"Breath with me?" You say lazily, knowing you're sleepy enough for your breath to be deeper than his.

He looks startled for a moment before faintly blushing in the dim light that filters through the window.

"Helps calms down your breath." You precise, fighting against sleep.

"Okay."

"Inhale." You say as you breath in slowly, squeezing his hand as you do. "Exhale." You release the soft pressure on his hands. You're not sure it's useful to add a gentle squeeze to the breath, but it seems like a good way of helping him get out of his mind and back into his body.

When you squeeze his hand again, he squeezes softly back. "Inhale," he says before doing it. "Exhale."

Your breaths slowly sync together as you repeat the process, soon letting go of the spoken cues.

"I'm here." You say as you doze off with a soft smile.

"I'm here too." You hear him answer, sleep heavy in his voice.

[inkedinshadows]

Hello lovely people! 🌸

(snippet of fanfic at the end)

Hi everyone! I'm not exactly new here, but I've never really posted anything before. I lurked in the dark, sometimes appearing in someone's comments, but mainly silently devouring fanfic for Azriel because I'm such a sucker for our shadowsinger 🖤

But now that I've got a lot of free time on my hands, I've decided to give a shot at writing something of my own and share it with anyone who'd be willing (and kind enough) to read it.

And while I work on the final scenes of my first fic, I thought it could be a nice idea if maybe I introduced myself a little a bit? I don't know, maybe no one really cares, but maybe someone does? So here it is.

🌸 I'm Italian, so forgive me if there are some mistakes or some weird stuff, but don't feel bad about calling me out on it so I can improve ✨️ it's my first time writing something other than an essay or dissertation in English after all

🌸 My name is Yennifer (not very Italian, I know), but you can call me Yen or Yenni. Whatever you like works tbh

🌸 I started writing when I was 10 and the first thing I ever wrote was a crossover for Harry Potter and Narnia, in which Peter and Ginny ended up together. I actually rewrote the whole thing at 13, then again at 15, and then I started writing a sequel. When I tell you I made that my whole personality for a few years, I mean it

🌸 I studied Foreign Languages and Literatures in university (and hopefully it helped with mastering English enough to use it for fanfics) and I recently graduated. I'm currently waiting and praying for my admission to the Master program

🌸 I've always wanted to be a writer, but since now I'm old enough (22 lol) to realize I'm not sure I've got what it takes to plan, write and finish (they tell me this is an important part of it) a whole ass book, my dream job is translator: reading, writing and languages all in one. What else could I possibly want?

🌸 My favorite authors are Jay Kristoff, TJ Klune and Jojo Moyes. If we stick to classics, I love Oscar Wilde and a few Italian dudes probably not many know

🌸 I love the color blue in all its shades, so I like to think it as fate that Azriel's color is cobalt 💙

🌸 I am OBSESSED with music. I can't live without it and I'm not even exaggerating. If I'm not listening to music, then there's still music playing in my mind and it never shuts up. Sometimes it can even be a bit frustrating. But whether it's real or just in my head, music is playing 24/7 around here

🌸 In case you couldn't tell, I particularly like this flower emoji. I just think it's really cute and a nice change from the usual lil red heart

Now, before I wrap this up, here's the little snippet I promised. Enjoy!

His shadows lunged forward as if they wanted to reassure her, but he held them back. He approached her slowly, stopping just in front of her. He crouched down next to her and waited for her to meet his eyes before speaking.

“Let me help,” he said, unable to hide his concern any longer. He wanted to erase that haunted look from her eyes and he’d do anything to make her feel safe and protected again.

“You’re not alone, Y/N,” he continued, his tone gentle. In his mind, he was cursing himself for not having thought that she might experience this kind of problem. “I could help you. We can do it at your pace and stop whenever you wish.”

She stared into his eyes and it felt like an eternity passed before she nodded. Relief flooded his chest at her trust, her willingness to finally let someone help her.

[...]

Tears were streaming down her face and she sobbed, drawing her legs close to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She began to rock back and forth and maybe she was begging for it to stop, to never start, maybe she was screaming or calling out for someone, maybe she wasn’t saying anything at all.

As that dark freezing water closed over her and pulled her under, she knew the pain would come soon. And there was nothing she could do to stop it. She was drowning and there was nothing she could do, nothing she could do, nothing she could…

A tender, gentle touch on her cheek. From far away, someone called her name. And among the chaos, the darkness, the crippling fear, she saw a pair of hazel eyes, soft and yet concerned. A male voice assuring her that she was safe, that he was with her.

She wanted to believe that voice, but the water was pulling her under, cold and dark and terrifying. And yet that gentle voice was still talking to her, those hazel eyes still looking into hers, and she tried to hold on to them, to not let it all slip away.

And then someone took her hand and suddenly she felt something thumping beneath her palm. A heartbeat, she realized. Life.

Heartbeat meant life. Not death, not pain.

Life.

Alright, I really hope you liked this and that it sparked your curiosity just enough to stick around to read the whole thing. I'll post it in the next few days, I just have to write the end.

Whether you've read the whole post or just skipped to the snippet, thank you so much and hopefully I'll see you again! 💙🌸🙈

[jmdbjk]

Face-off

YOONGIIIIII!!!! (doing my best JK imitation)

More about Yoongi next but right now...

I can't get Face-Off, off my mind. Jimin reinforced to us that this album was about things he was feeling and going through so naturally that colored how I interpreted the lyrics and tone of the songs on my first listen. This is what I wrote back on March 25 about it:

Maybe he once trusted himself but in this time and place in which he finds himself, he questions what is he doing? and second guessing himself. Day in and day out, the days are all the same nothingness. Hiding his feelings, faking it, pretending it was all ok. It’s all cool. It’ll be all right. He has said many times he looks back at that time and thinks he could have done more for the fans. Being hard on himself. ... Face-Off feels like it could have been a purging song when he wrote it. A little primal, you know… just scream, get it out. Painful but cathartic. 

After several weeks now, after being exposed to even more promotional content and interviews and everyone else's take on the songs and album, I can't get the multiple layers of interpretation out of my head.

In one of his interviews, he said the carnival music at the beginning of Face-Off was just something he thought would be interesting. But you could also think of it as the beginning of his self-awareness... his sudden epiphany of his situation and mocking himself as a clown when he was living like a fool.

I originally felt all of the lyrics of the song were directed at himself, he was talking about betraying himself, but was it really friends or people he trusted who betrayed him?

However you want to think about the source of the betrayal, he realizes he had been a fool to trust, the song conveys an overwhelming humiliating feeling of betrayal. He was angry and hurt. And he lashed out.

We know Jimin is a deeply feeling person, so how do you escape the deep anxiety of humiliation, anger and shame? How does he erase the thought that he was too blind to see someone taking advantage of him?

He turned to drinking? He didn't want to be sober. Kill the emotions. Similar to the lyric in Like Crazy: "emotions on ice."

It seems like there was a specific day that was the climax of this betrayal... "a beautiful night" where he finds himself or maybe in other words, reaches a turning point where he can control all the turmoil, feels relief.

"Even though you test me...even though you kill me... even if you stab me more" are highly vicious and violent expressions. A determination to survive no matter how much it hurts. Could be talking to himself, his inner demons, or could be speaking about these people who betrayed him... or could be talking about haters in general.

Whatever this deeply emotional event was for him... that he wrote a song about ... I believe it impacted him in a way that significantly shapes who he is now.

The more I dwell on the lyrics, the more I think about how awful that moment in time must have been for him.

All that being said, multiple interpretations of this song live in my head simultaneously as I listen to it. For me, there is no black and white to what the song means. The meanings and interpretations flow back and forth. He created a great song with strongly emotional lyrics and I'm very proud of him.

[inbarfink]

I recently watched the episode "Memory of a Memory" and I thought about how easy it is to go into your own or someone else's mind to erase memories. Why didn't Simon try to erase the terrible memories of the Ice King, leaving only those where he has fun with Finn, Jake and others? Imagine if he decided to do that and ended up in Fionna's world

I mean...... okay, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, Anon, and assuming you do know why trying to deal with your trauma by Literally Deleting Your Memories would be a Very Bad Thing and a Terrible Idea. And we're just talking about it as something Simon "Horrible Self-Destructive Coping Mechanisms" Petrikov will think of.

There are Several Issues involved.

It's not actually THAT easy to go into someone's memories. Finn and Jake only managed to do that via a Magic Powder they got from a Wizard. Simon isn't Magic himself anymore, so he's going to find an actual Wizard who ALSO doesn't see that it's a horrible horrible idea and would be willing to make/buy it in the Magic Shop for him (I'm guessing buy that sort of stuff in Wizard City).

Even we ignore the Obvious Problems with the plan, I don't think memory erasing would actually fix most of Simon's problems. His current Depressive Spiral is not just about how horrible the experience of being Ice King was for him - it's part of it, but it's not all of it. Simon also has problems with A. Losing Betty, and that pain is going to sting even if he forgot the exact details of why he lost Betty. B. Being stuck in a Freaky Magical World where he feels like a total outsider. And here, quite honestly, trying to delete Ice King memories of living in Ooo for a thousand years... that'll just make it WORSE.

Also, even if he doesn't consciously remembers being Ice King, like...... everyone else still does. Everyone in Wizard City already saw Simon turn into Ice King back in 'Betty', people know they're the same person, that ship has sailed. So Simon would still be aware of his horrible past because eventually someone will mention it, and it's still going to cause him grief and shame even if he can't remember it. Maybe even more because it's like 'oh what did I do that was so horrible I literally deleted it from my mind?'

[souplovingwerewolf]

Horrifying and inhuman transformation tropes that I absolutely love:

- a character transforming/mutating into a monster due to extreme stress/losing control of their emotions. This most often happens when a specific character has powers that are connected to their emotions, but in some media (such as abstracting in TADC) it's because of the setting the characters are in and isn't specific to one character.

- characters transforming/mutating due to an overuse of their powers or an overload/over absorption of energy. There's just something so cool and powerful about seeing the thing that gave that character strength spiral into something that destroys their mind and warps their body.

- characters losing their humanity after transforming but still performing actions/gravitating towards things that meant a lot to them in their human form because they are so engrained in their minds. Like, for example, if a character was a singer and was known to love singing and did it a lot, their mutant form, in between running around and acting all animalistic and violent, stops, tilts it's head up, and tries to "sing" it's favorite song from when it was a human in a garbled, distorted voice. Also, characters instinctively running to/staying at places that meant a lot to them as humans, and characters being aggressive to everyone EXCEPT the people that they really loved and cared about.

- the transformation being extremely slow and gradual, and the character doing other things while actively transforming. Like, a character is running around and continuing to fight in a battle or pilot a ship or escape danger with their team, but all the while their hands gradually turn to claws, their skin gradually discolors, and they feel their mind slipping. Maybe the transformation is constantly spreading in the background of whatever they're doing, or maybe it seems to have stopped, but they occasionally groan and clutch their head, and as they're writhing in pain, it spreads a little more.

-characters having permanent scars or remnants of their monster forms even after they transform back. This one is good because it usually comes with the character also having a lot of trauma following the transformation, and having to work on recovering mentally after that. Realistically, you're not just going to go through an incredibly traumatic event like that and go "oh nice, I'm human again, coolio", and go back to normal life just like that. That shit is gonna leave a HUGE mental effect, and I always love seeing characters go through the recovery journey of coming to terms with what happened and learning to move past it and feel like "themselves" again. Having physical scars or reminders of the transformation works very well with this, since it represents the fact that you can't completely erase the effects of a traumatic event from your life. Things will be different. You will be different. And that doesn't ever fully go away. But that doesn't mean you can't ever be okay, and it doesn't mean you can't have just as good of a life as you had before with time and effort and proper healing.

[praeteritus-memories]

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄 .

Share at least 5 songs that you associate with or remind you of your muse!

Gojo-

Shame On Me by Avicii

I'm baptized and born again You can go to hell with your fucked-up friends Crazy little bitch in the first degree Shame on you for lovin' me Yeah, woah

Not Over You by Bill Kaulitz

I can't escape, I can't erase you, you I can't forget, it's not the same without you, you You, I'm not over you, you, you You, I'm not over you, you, you I can't escape, I can't erase you, you I can't forget, it's not the same without you, you You, I'm not over you, you, you You, I'm not over you, you, you

Lost Time Memory by Jin (Will Stetson cover)

Boy ,18, continued waiting For her return he kept on living The ones he lost still scorch his mind Their silhouettes so warm yet blurring Towards the sun, the school behind me Today as well you smile kindly “Let’s play once more” You said while wavering just out of reach

CRAZY by Umetora-P ft VIVID BAD SQUAD and Luka Megurine

Say hello as the sun rises On your sky, that pitch black sky I'll rip it apart with my bare hands You see, in that place There's the trick of an audible heartbeat What roars out is my own tune My own tune - not someone else's

Children Record by Jin Ft VIVID BAD SQUAD and Len Kagamine

Boys and girls, face forward! Hope can be found even in this overpowering heat “Bring it back!” “Bring it back!” The crescent moon is burning red Come on, write the code with zeroes and let’s go to a world beyond imagination To the overwrought battlefront of fantasy

Ei-

OBEY by Crusher-P Ft Lady Parsec

There will be no revolution. I clearly have no time for that, Nor your petty plans to over throw me, You are but a minor nuisance. I clearly have no time for that, I will not fall to your anarchy.

Senbonzakura by Kurousa-P (Lizz Robinett cover)

Darkness has just engulfed the universe we know The lament that you sing can't reach ears anymore We are still far away from reaching peaks of hope Go ahead, keep shooting, use the flashing bolt!

Bad Apple by Masayoshi Minoshima (Remix of a Touhou boss song)

Maybe it's a dream, maybe nothing else is real But it wouldn't mean a thing if I told you how I feel So I'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside And I wish that I could live feeling nothing but the night

YoiYoiKon by REOL

Ahh, why am I so sad Selfishness is the norm Everyone holds their own ideals, statues of imagination There was never any answer that could satisfy them all

My War by Shinsei Kamattechan

The only memory left is trauma Imaginary friend’s kind words The evening train was shaking I purified the imperfect flowers The pain in my heart getting higher My comedy show at its peak The frogs were crying on our way home This is my last war

Tagged by: @frostbounddevotion <3

Tagging: @solariasen , @origami-assassin , @crimsonfacets (Lilith!!!) , @sncwlight , @sacredpit , @alm1ghtysea (Barbie!) and @tricksheart

[ruinedbylanadelrey]

Can i request agent whiskey x plus!size reader where the reader is dating whiskey and when he died she never left his side till he woke up he jumped up from the bed and tried to calm him down but of course she needed the nurses help he needed his memories back and nothing worked when he looked at the reader so the nurse had to pull out a picture of his ex girlfriend and that worked the reader got insecure because she knew in her gut that he wasn’t over his dead ex girlfriend but she ignored it because she loved him that just pissed the reader off and she started ignoring whiskey when they had missions together and everyone else noticed it so whiskey planned a romantic dinner and proposed to the reader (hope it’s good)

Stand by Your Man | Agent Whiskey x Plus Size!Reader

"Stand by your man and show the world you love him"- Tammy Wynette

warnings: self doubt, self esteem issues, men being men

wc: 1.3K

masterlist

He's okay, you just need to breathe. You were there when he was shot, it was just a graze. Ginger told you Jack would be okay. She wouldn't lie to you.

"He'll be awake any second, you're the first option to help him gain his memory. We do have a second option if he doesn't come back..." Ginger mumbled the last bit of the sentence.

The other choice would cause problems for you and Jack. She doesn't want to cause any problems between you as a couple. Jack pops awake and looks around the white sterile room, you feel a wave of relief wash over you when he looks into your eyes. A smirk grew on his face but he wasn't there.

No softness behind those puppy dog eyes. There was no sparkle in his eyes when he looked at you, unlike how it usually is. "Jack, baby," You cautiously reach to hold his face in your hands. "What's your name, sugar?" He pulled you by your waist, your heart started to crack. He doesn't remember you. Jack's touch felt different, cold to the touch. It wasn't inviting and comfortable.

Years of happiness had just been erased from his mind. Years of trust, love, and dedication are just gone. You remove yourself from his hold and turn to look at Ginger.

She saw how hurt you were by the fake smile you had on your face. It was painful. "I guess it's time for the second choice," You whispered, you walked behind her and watch her pull out a Polaroid of his high school sweetheart.

You could see Jack come back down to earth and everything hit him all at once. You tried not to be upset because now you all have Jack back. Everything you hid the in back of your mind was true. Jack was never over her, you can't be mad at him for not being over her. But he always claimed that you are his life and treated you like it. 

Were you unmemorable to Jack? Maybe you never actually mattered to him? Insecurities were at the forefront of your mind. Hating yourself a bit more than usual.

You sat in your home just analyzing yourself, what does he even see in you? Are you just a stupid young girl who fell in love with the first guy who is a gentleman? To YOU, Jack did not fall in love with you for your looks, but then he certainly did not fall for your personality. 

You haven't felt this self-hatred since you were a teenager who just hated everything about yourself. Jack was trying to be a good partner and tell you how you're beautiful to him and tried to make you feel good in his bed. The mind-numbing sex was helping you not think about how much you disgust yourself.

Jack noticed how you seemed distant and muddled. You waved off your hurt as just trying to process almost losing him. You felt sick to your stomach any time you had to be near him. Mission came up again and ignoring him outside the work helped you process the anger and resentment you felt toward him.

"Rosé, Whiskey, you're next assignment..." Champ droned on about the details for the next mission. Your ears roared with blood rushing to your head, you wanted to pass out. You got lucky the past few assignments weren't just the two of you, it was the two of you and another person at Statesmen. 

You pretended to sleep on the plane to not speak to Jack. You heard Jack seat himself next to you, lifting your head and letting you rest in his lap. The way his body felt foreign to you, it didn't feel like home anymore.

"I'm sorry, baby" Jack whispered as he stroked your hair. You wanted to sit up and just ask him a million questions. You craved reassurance from him that he loves you. What is he sorry for? Sorry for leading you on? Sorry for not being over her? Sorry for that first mission, you had together where you fell in love with each other?

You always stood by Jack because you love him even when life really tested you and Jack. You felt the tears escape from your closed eyes. Jack watched the tears stain his jeans, it was the confirmation he needed. He hated how hurt you'd been since the day in the lab. "I forgive you, Jack." You opened your eyes and looked at him, you straddled his waist and his hands sit on your hips like it was a natural reflex. 

"Please don't ignore me anymore, I don't know if my old heart can take it, doll." Jack lays a kiss on your nose. You melt at his touch, it started to feel familiar. "You're not old," you said as you took his hat off his head and put it on yours. His world-famous smirk grew on his pretty face as the hat rule was fresh in his mind.

-

You got a resort that was a little too expensive for your taste. The suite was decorated with your favorite flowers, prairie roses. "I had them flown in from Texas," Jack softly said as you looked at them in awe. You felt all your insecurities wash away by the gesture. 

Jack was always a romantic and that made you fall in love with him from the start of it all. You loved how he remembered such minor things you would tell him.

Like how your mom would tell you all the time when you were a kid how the flower is just a weed but you thought it was the most beautiful flower you have ever seen. How much you like crystals more than diamonds resulting in Jack by you several necklaces with rose quartz pendants. 

"So there is no mission?" You ask with a sweet smile on your face, Jack chuckled and shook his head. "Just us saving each other." Jack sat on the expansive bed pulling on his lap. "I love you, Jack, and proud of you" You kiss the corner of his mouth, you want to be his forever and show everyone how much you love him. "I love you more, sugar," Jack always said 'more' even though you think he's completely wrong. You don't understand him but you can't argue with how he feels and thinks.

"Now get all pretty for me, darlin', we have reservations in an hour." Jack set you on your feet and gave an encouraging smack on your ass. You heard yourself giggling like a schoolgirl as you grabbed your things to get ready. 

You watched Jack another whiskey neat and fidget in his seat while the two of you ate the tiny portions of the dinner. It was unlike Jack to be uncool, he is a man who is sure of himself.

He is a true man because he was confident in every move he makes, every word he says, every breath he takes, he always made you feel safe because of his masculinity. "Baby, what's wrong? You're squirming like a worm," You asked, he stopped his movements and laughed a little trying to ease himself. 

You watched him reach for his pocket and took a deep breath, "Doll, I see how you stand by me through everything that is thrown at us and I thank the universe every day for blessing me with a loving woman. I love you more than there are stars in the sky, I want to come home to you and have you for life if you'll let me. Will you marry me?" Jack kneeled at your feet with a rose quartz ring. You love the sight of him at your feet begging you to have him for life. It was beautiful to see a self-assured man ask for love forever. 

[vaultofcobaltandjade]

Alright folks, Ao3 is temporarily down, so it's time for some meta Thoughts. Something I've been thinking about lately, especially with the recent interactions between Ashton and the Bright Queen, is how both Ashton and FCG might/did view their own bodily autonomy and how this affected their friendship as well as their gender identities. In this essay, I will...

As an Aeormaton, FCG had a demonstrably dehumanizing view of their metallic body, from not believing they had a soul to being willing to sell or sacrifice themself as a mere object to their final moment of utilizing their body's design to save their friends. I don't remember him ever saying that Dancer was his "owner" at any point, maybe just his "maker" or "creator" in the earlier episodes, but there seemed to be a very different dynamic with the Division of Public Benefit--aka with automatons that Dancer did create--versus with Bells Hells where everyone encouraged him to see himself as equal with a soul like any of theirs. Plus, the discovery of what he was originally created for and the actual Murder Bot moments on stream likely only increased any feelings of powerlessness over his body. Although all beings are technically "created" by others against their wills, FCG was built with a specific purpose they were meant to fulfill and then presumably be disassembled or repurposed after that task had been completed.

And with the gender thing: I've been thinking about the wider implications of having automaton and construct PCs. Historically, a lot of robotic characters in media have either been referred to as a genderless yet dehumanized it or forced into a human concept of the gender binary, the former being mostly because they're meant to be portrayed as non-sentient objects and the latter being mostly projection and attempting to erase the creators' (and audience's) fear of the unknown. So the choice to give some automatons in Exandria sentience and soul and the room for some genderfuckery has allowed for FCG's largely unaired but undoubtedly beautiful gender journey. (I mean, the irony and Pun Value of a robit being nonbinary is hilarious on its own.)

So while I can't know for sure how much FCG's he/they pronouns were chosen in relation to--or in defiance of--the historical depictions of robots I mentioned, there was undoubtedly a theme of reclaiming bodily autonomy throughout their arc.

Moving onto our other favorite he/they C3 PC though... Ashton's own history with their body isn't much better.

I mean, their first memory is the ritual of the Shard of Ka'Mort and being unwillingly portaled away to another continent, which later resulted in their entire body being transformed into stone and gem. (And while this is purely in headcanon territory, it wouldn't be that far off to imagine that maybe their father Efterin the cult leader may have even had Ashton for ulterior purposes, like having a sorta cult heir or even fully intending to give Ashton up for the ritual from the get-go, which would be incredibly dark and further lend to their lack of bodily autonomy.) Then, there's The Fall. The cracks and gold scars, the half-blindness, the head injury and slag glass. Even though it saved his life and has been used to his benefit since, he never asked Milo to pour the Potion of Possibility into his head or to get his unfathomable and unique dunamantic Rage abilities. And then, there's the recent Shard stuff, both the incident with the Rau'shan Shard--especially how it literally rejected him--and the full activation of the Ka'Mort Shard with its resulting Titan transformations. While I can't quite remember if Ashton's chronic pain began with the initial transformation in Bassuras or after The Fall, there's gotta be frustration and helplessness present whenever their body doesn't want to cooperate because of the pain and Exhaustion. Plus, there's the literal mind/body control moments that have happened where some enemy magically puppeteers Ashton's strength against his friends--similar in some ways to FCG's Murder Bot moments.

Back to the gender thing: I'm sure part of Ashton's gender feelings are from their pretty queerpunk, very genderfuck identities, which can be a statement of reclaiming bodily autonomy in and of itself. But I will always remember how Tal made a point in the CR Sick Day Stream to state that Ashton could have anything in their pants, and making them potentially AFAB/transmasc brings up even more complications with gender dysphoria and bodily autonomy.

So. All this is to say: a) Ashton and FCG's friendship and bonding over mutual Gender and Trauma and Self-Hatred and Lack of Bodily Autonomy and such will always be everything to me, and b) it's starting to make a lot more sense why Ashton is throwing himself into the proverbial fire by recklessly showing people like the Bright Queen or even Essek his dunamantic abilities despite the warnings and despite prior experience with hubris-induced mistakes. (This is especially the case in the wake of FCG's sacrificial death, but that's a whole other Long Post about Ashton's grief over the friend they started this campaign with and how they could have very well learned the wrong lesson from that self-sacrifice.) Ashton likely hasn't felt like they've ever truly had full autonomy over their body or, at the very least, that their relationship to their body has been Complicated. He's talked about how people in Jrusar would ogle at the hole in his head, often for a charge--much like how people would offer to buy FCG or even how a circus performer sells tickets for a spectacle. So really, it's not that far of a stretch to have people "examining" or experimenting on him. And with how little Ashton knows about his own body and what's inside it and how it works (even their dunamantic class abilities are purposefully left to random chance), of course he's going to be motivated to put himself in the hands of those more knowledgeable and experienced. If he's never had full autonomy over his body, is it really his to give away for experimentation in the first place? Has he ever learned to entirely respect his body or to feel a sense of power or control over it--especially outside of combat when he can kinda harness his unique abilities?

Most importantly, will Ashton get a moment of reclaiming full autonomy over their body--and, consequently, their life--in a similar arc to FCG, or will some entity--like the Bright Queen, according to a lot of fans' fears--inevitably take advantage of their self-neglect in order to gain control over their body with little regard to their mind or will?

Only time will tell... which is why chronomancy is the greatest magic of all ;)

[maxismp1]

Wanda with a comfort fem or nb reader you can decide, but like Wanda is going through stuff after the blip and needs someone to help her with copping with what happened and that she needs to move on even if its hard for her she can,(this can be during Wandavision) and maybe this could be Platonic?

Thank you

-HauntedFoxInternet

It is you again I see my dear. I can do that. The thing is, as much as I am part of the fandom, I did not see wandavision. But. As I said before. Your request makes my imagination bloom. Ofc I can do it. And... it was long time since I watched any marvel moves.... I totaly didn't forget certain personalities.....

Wanda's time of need

Everything was not alright. Everything was overwhelming, and people did not help. Wanda was hurt, tired and sad. She was gone from the face of earth. Just to come back. It was too much. Everyone could feel it, it was just there.

People tried helping. People tried comforting. But they just made it worse. Constant "everything is alright." Or "are you okay". She wished to just get away from everyone.

"Wanda, dear, are you okay?"

That voice... so comforting and soothing. She could just hug it, yet she couldn't. The person that it was coming from tho. Then. She could hug. The voice belongs to you.

You were there for everyone. Not romanticly. No, no, no. You were there as comfort. No one knew what it is with you. You helped Loki when he cane to the tower, you calmed Barns when he had his episodes. You helped Tony with his problems. You were just the right person for it.

"Ye... yeah im alright"

"You are a bad liar, dear"

Those nicknames were so carousal. You had it for everyone. It was your way of greeting people. You were not an older lady that calls then that due to them being way younger. It was the way you grew up.

"I know.."

"Do you wish to speak about it?"

You knew what to say, you knew how to ask or respond in this situations.

"Yeah"

"Do you want to go to a more private area. I don't think the kitchen is the best place"

"It's alright."

"Alright then. What is bothering you"

"Everything. Everything is so overwhelming. It doesn't sit right. People are too much. I was erased from earth then broth back. Just to kill someone.."

"Many people were erased on that day mate, we couldn't stop it from happening. But we did now. That is in past. And what's in past stays in past. No?"

"Yes..."

"You made the right choice, you did what you think was alright. You are safe now. With me. With others. We are here for you"

Even tho you comforted so many. Even tho you saved so many. It was still painful to see someone suffer this much.

" Emotions are cruel things. No one can predict what shall happen when one gets so worked up because od them. When they bubble up, just waiting to be poped.

It's the way of human mind. We were created that way. People get traumatised and think they can't feel them anymore. Some can't. And that's alright. No one is to blame for it. Not even yourself .

Traumatic events happened in past, but as I said. The past is the last. And should stay as that. It may taunt you in the future. But it's more important to rember the happy part od it. Just keep your head up, think about the things that make you happy. Take deep breaths and relax."

"Thank you y/n... thank you"

"You are welcome my dear"

You had time to finnish the sentance. But when you did. You felt the taller woman hug you. You hugged back. She deserves it. Like everyone else .

As I said.... I forgot half of the things in movie so I decided to make you my dear reader, talk more then her..... I hope you do not feel as I ignored the main part of your request.

Remainder. I'm dyslexic. If you see spelling mistakes. Tell me in comments.

Another remainder. Drink water and take care of yourselfs my loves. Goodnight or good day.