#maybe another time though i just wanna get this out
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filthyguts · 1 day ago
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sketchbook doodles as it’s 4 am so I thought maybe . I’d share my specific kira headcanons from my twit thread. Strap in its unda the cut and it’s a lot because I’m normal about him whatever
- HATES dogs due to an incident from when he was a kid, slight phobia
- I’m always 50/50 on this but I like the headcanon of kira potentially having a type of albinism, both his parents carried the gene
-he’s superstitious, on account of his mother being VERY superstitious, which probably didn’t help with any compulsions he was dealing with internally as a kid and into adulthood
-Liked to burn ants and bigger bugs with a magnifying glass as a kid
-surprisingly low pain tolerance
-Has never kissed another person (until he kissed shinobu on the cheek during BTD)
this extends to other things do with this information what you will *large sign in flashing lights that says VIRGINNNNNN*
-he does not know how to kiss. because he hasn't done it to an actual living breathing person, if he were too in earnest it's intense he's all teeth and tongue it would be literally terrible, but he does give sweet knuckle kisses
he can give a polite cheek kiss but if he had to do one of the lips he’d be cooked like it would be over for him he might bite your tongue off on accident(or..?) like ur better off sticking two fingers in his mouth and hoping for the best instead of getting your lip ripped off
-absolutely LOVES the smell of a fresh coat of nail polish, doesn't care that it makes him light headed
-super veiny hands and wrists one paper cut and it's over for him
-killer queen feels really cold to touch, but its arms and hands are hot
-average at playing the violin, does dabble from time to time in the quiet of his home but it's not very often
-yes we know he sucks fingers but he also likes to likely gnaw because he likes the texture on his teeth (not in a cannibal way though he thinks the idea of actually eating flesh is disgusting and irresponsable)
-just really loves neutrals and easter colors, designer suits all the way obvi
-when he first gained killer queen (I hc he was about 19) it always looked like this pic below with the exposed skull, only when he started to better mask his homicidal tendencies and urges did KQ gain its "mask"" and how we see it now
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-despite his obvious feline affiliations he doesn't want a pet cat, the hair getting everywhere would drive him crazy (plus he's got killer queen
-kira didn't name killer queen himself, the only time it ever spoke to him was once. when he first manifested KQ after the arrow, Killed Queen told Kira it's name quietly while standing behind him, this scared the shit out of him, which sounds badass and spooky but was also probably subconsciously because Kira had a Queen CD he purchased a year prior that he liked WELL UR JUST SEVENTEEN AND ALL YOU WANNA DO IS DISAPPEAR
-occasionally drinks (that's canon) but meaning he likes to get winedrunk with his girlfriends on special occasions, or socially drinks when forced to go out for company outings, once came home decently hammered and almost phoned a travel agency to get a one way plane ticket to France to see the Mona Lisa ,
did not follow through with this when he woke up the next morning. The idea of seeing her at the Louvre is almost too much for him, feels like touching an exposed nerve.
-is 100% having sloppy makeout sessions with his severed hand girlfriend with candles, dim lighting, and mood records + thinks it's the peak of romance and gets giddy about it like someone with their first crush. Because he's insane
-can feel a phantom sense for Sheer Heart Attack, no pain due to its durability, but can feel the heat tracking in his hand and it readying to explode once it’s found its target. The tracking feels like a tingling sensation to him akin to a compass, like a pulling. and the explosion feels like a pleasant blossom of warmth
-loves the subtle flavor of different lotions (not freshly applied) that linger on the skin, salty fruity fragrant and slightly chemically is his favorite. 🤢
- tries to be incredibly Normal when going for routine dental checkups and cleanings for obvious reasons. When he was in his early 20s and didn’t quite have his urges and homicidal tendencies in check- one of his early victims was a dental hygienist
-his dad(yoshihiro) was into cheesy action movies and would often take kira when he was a kid to the theater, kira didn’t really care for it overall, the explosions were always cool though.
He doesn’t watch movies often but he doesn’t mind drama and romance.
-gets cold pretty easily
-scary good at walking quietly, like a cat stalking prey, when he started working at kameyu- he went to hand some documents to a coworker, startling them pretty bad bc they didn’t hear him come up- he IMMEDIATELY stopped doing that unconsciously after that incident, he makes sure his footsteps are “normal” are soft, not aggressive, but can hear heard enough.
- in the moment he likes the feeling of blood drying on his skin, but once the adrenaline wears off he’ll wrinkle his nose and be like >:// then hop in the bath to clean up(it’s usually not his bath)
-went to the same school Reimi Sugimoto attended in Morioh, never once did he hold a solid conversation with her, she only spoke to him briefly once about missed homework. But that’s not to say he didn’t know who she was. Eerie :(
- His SECOND favorite early spring, likes taking strolls along to coast with his girlfriends, enjoys the breeze.
But his FIRST favorite season is summer, when all the tourists come to Morioh. It’s easy for people traveling to simply disappear 😨
-aside from nail biting, had a compulsive skin picking habit as a child but this was quickly squashed by his mother who’d give him a swat on the wrist each time he was caught
-subconsciously wishes his girlfriends could grab him back- (this isn’t to say he wants to rest of the person though 🤢) a squeeze on the waist or shoulder would probably do him good but it’s not like he consciously yearns for this- it would shatter his otherwise perfect lived fantasy and setup of control 😒
-his favorite finger is tied between either the pointer or the ring finger. He likes being able to bend the fingers and do what he wants, relishes in the subtle crack of the joints 🤢
anddddd that’s all for now. hell isn’t hot enough for him
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tan1shere · 1 day ago
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Passion Painting
Billie Eilish x female reader !
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A/n: Was watching my show when I got a little inspired by an episode :D kinda quoted a line from it too because it was fitting. I'll make it bold so you guys know ! - I literally need this woman rn (or even a dom in my asks that'll be great too.)
Summary: you get a gift so you and Billie spice things up a bit ;)
Warnings: smut ! Scissoring 🥰 bills being a bit rough 😫 (i personally love how this turned out)
Tags: @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @brat-at-the-disco @iluvapplesxh @chrissv4mp @n0vabug
masterlist
The door opens, hearing keys jingle. Billie was finally home and you had missed her all day. But she doesn't come empty handed. You had just come into the room, greeting her. "Hey baby, what's that?" She sets it down. "Well, it's an early Christmas gift from Claudia. She said we can open it whenever? Whatever that means." You tilt your head. "Do we open it now?" She takes her shoes off, looking at you. "I mean if you want to, she didn't say otherwise. So I'd say its fine." She smiles at you, going over to give you a kiss.
"Good day?" - "It was ok, bit slow work wise but apart from that it was good." You say, going to pick up the box wrapped with festive paper. Bringing it over to the dining table. "How's Finn and Claudia? Did you get much done today?" She nods. "They're good, and yeah a little bit thank goodness. Glad to be home, missed you." You go to kiss her again. "I missed you. Right lets see what we have here." You say, ripping the thin material. Reading the box outloud.
Confusion strikes you. "What is it?" Billie asks. You turn it around so she can see, reading out the words to her. "Passion Painting Erotic Art Kit." She makes a face of realization. "So that's why she said to do it at night time and maybe after a date. I was so confused." You look at her. "You wanna do it?" She thinks for a moment, smirking to herself. "What? Slather you in paint and fuck you? Without a doubt babe." You grin widely. "Sounds like a plan then."
Giggles echoed though the house as you open the front door and speed over to the kit. Billie close behind. "I've actually been thinking about this all day." You admit. "Oh yeah?" She comes close to you. "Sitting in your desk at work, clenching your thighs as I smear paint all over your body. Over your curves." Your faces were close to one another, inches away. You bite your lip, averting your eyes to look at hers. They were natural apart from a little liner making them look plump and inviting. You lean in to kiss her but she pulls back.
Causing an annoyed groan to leave you. "Billie." You whine. She chuckles. That fucking chuckle. It was menacing. "Why don't we make this a little challenge." Your head tilts with intrigue. "I'm listening." She goes to unbox it, waiting a moment before she speaks again. "Let's see how long we can go without kissing one another." - "What-?" She turns around. "Don't think you can?" You think for a second. "Fine, let's see who looses." She smirks. "I think we both know who that's going to be." Your eyes roll. "Yeah yeah." But her hand grabs your jaw.
"Such an attitude for someone whos about to get fucked on the floor." Your throat closes up finding breathing to be the last thing on your mind currently. You both spread the canvas out. But in reality, you're going to be the canvas spread out at the end of the night. She'd make sure of it. You pick up the paints. Gold and blue. "Which?" She looks at them. "Hmm blue." You hand her the blue. "Right well I better get out of this." You began, back facing her. Slightly bent over as you stand back up. She smirks to herself grabbing the zip at the top of your dress. And swiftly pulling it down.
You gasp as the air hits your nipples. Since the dress had no straps you went against wearing a bra. Now standing almost fully naked in your kitchen, you two had moved some furniture around so you'd have the right space. "Oops, well I mean now all you need to take off is that tiny. Tiny. Pair of underwear." You had to process how fast she was with the dress you almost didn't register her hands pulling the thin material of your underwear off. It was only then when you realized how cool everything got. A shiver running down your spine. You wanted to kiss that smirk right off her face.
But you couldn't, you had to remember the game. "Your turn." Her smirk stays, grabbing her shirt from the back with one hand, lifting it off her head. Hair becoming messy. She takes off her pants next because she too, didn't put a bra on. There was no need. But you definitely weren't complaining. Your eyes stare for a moment. Maybe if you focused on that and not her really, inviting lips you'd be fine. But God were you wrong. You just wanted to grab her and kiss her. You both stand fully naked infront of one another.
Your nerves getting the better of you as she stalks closer to you. The lid pops off the paint. As she hands you the blue one. "We have to put it on one another." But her words went out one ear and out the other. "Hey." She says getting your attention. "Focus baby." Your eyes meet hers, handing her the gold. There was still some plastic on it so she brings it up to her mouth, getting ahold of it and ripping it off. All while keeping intense eye contact. You were going to be dripping soon. And not with paint. Her lips come to the cap, popping that off and out of her mouth. She squeezes a good amount into her hand. "You're going to be so gold you'll look like one of my Oscar's."
You gulp back saliva, you were almost drooling. Even more so when her hand makes contact with your skin. The paint was a little cold, but her burning hands soon get rid of that. Your body starts to become hot. Nerves coming back more prominent. She rubs it all over your chest, moving down to your tits, having it around most but leaving your nipples free. She had plans. Her movements were incredibly slow, making you more needy. She made sure she got your whole body, minus the places she needed access to. Standing back and letting you take over on hers.
Your shakey hand comes in contact with her neck. "Nervous?" You shake your head. "That's not really an answer huh?" You couldn't look at her, you just couldn't. You were close to giving into everything how was she so God damn calm? Your mind races as you come to her breats, you were hesitant but eager to touch them. "Why so Nervous huh? It's as if you haven't touched them before, when we both know that's not true." She was getting you to break, to give up on the game. "You're making this harder.." You whisper out. "Is that so? Darn, I didn't even realize." You pout slightly. "Can't go on?"
You think for a second, shaking your head. "Im fine." You say as your hands move over the rest of her body. "So shy, sweetheart." You swallow. "N-no I'm not." Her brow raises. "Don't lie." But she softly grabs your hand, moving them over her body. "See like that, not hard is it?" You whimper. "You're making it hard Bills." Your eyes look at her with a pleading glint. "Shame." Her eyes look down at your body. "Think its time we have our fun." She says, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you down on the paper. Letting her hands move to your breasts. She had the left a part of your neck blank, bringing her lips to it and kissing.
"Billie.." You breathe out, but she moves her hands and grabs your ass tightly. "Uh uh, say it correct." Your head spins. "Mommy." - "Good girl." Your eyes shut. Trying so hard to resist the urge to kiss her. "Mommy please." You say, grabbing her arms and moving them down to her waist as she begins to move her cunt on your own. Your first moan of the night slips out. "What? Are you all sad you can't kiss me darling girl? You agreed to the challenge no?" You zip it. Hating that you did agree to it, you didn't care anymore. You go to switch positions getting ontop.
"Please let me kiss you please." Her hands rest on your lower back as you desperately move your pussy on hers. "Please Mommy, need it so bad." She smirks. "I can see angel. You've never done that before I guess you truly mean it." You pout again at her, she was playing with you and it was driving you mental. Moving down to attatch your lips to her own. But she serves, loving the little frustrated whines you let out. "You're so mean." Her hand instantly wraps around your throat and in the blink of and eye she was back ontop.
"What was that princess?" Her grip tightens making your words float away. "Hm??" You try to talk but it's no use. "Exactly what I thought." Her hand grips your thigh, hoisting it up to dangle on her shoulder. Her hand remains around your throat while the other is on the paper, close to your head and surely leaving a handprint on the almost covered paper. Your body's making art. Surely a night to remember. Her movements become harsh making your mind race, your mouth hangs open at the feeling of both of your wetness together. She watches your eyes roll back, and slowly seeing your lids drooping.
"there you go, fall into subspace that's it. You beautiful being." You had no thought other than her, the way she was fucking against you. Absolutely no words left. Her hand stays firmly around your throat. Your bodys soon come close together. Your breasts touching, nipples grazing one another and that was it. That was all it took for you two to gush against the other. Her lips come crashing down onto your own, loosening her grip to hear your sinful moans travel into her mouth. She groans as she rides out both of your orgasmns. Flopping on you to catch her breath. "Wow." You say. "Wow indeed."
You had a nice soothing shower together, getting comfortable in your bed. Snuggling up close. Until you grab your phone. "What're you doing?" She asks. "Thanking that amazing woman for even thinking of this for us." She smiles, letting out a laugh. "Thank her for me too." You then smile to yourself. "You do know you lost your own game right?"
"A wins a win when you get to fuck your girlfriend and showcase it on a wall for everyone to see and know that you're all. Mine."
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darlingdaisyfarm · 2 days ago
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texting Stan and Ford headcanons
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Stan Pines
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✧ Stan is the kinda guy who thinks emojis are a scam, but somehow, he figured out how to use the "thumbs up" and "money bag" emoji. so, expect a lot of those in your chats.
✧ his text tone is rough, a little misspelled, typed like he's yelling even when he isn’t. Half of his texts are in all caps, and he absolutely does not care about grammar. but he gets the point across, always.
✧ you’re getting messages at 3 am about some ‘brilliant’ scheme to make a quick buck. he’ll send, “LISTEN, doll, what if we made... GIANT… glitter-filled eggs for easter? Tourists'll go NUTS." you reply, half-asleep, with “Stan, ily but go to bed." and all you get back is a “🤬 YOU GOTTA THINK BIGGER!”
✧ Stan sends those weird chain messages he swears are from some “hotshot businessman” that’ll make you rich in a week. and when you don’t respond immediately, you get a: “Fine, Miss Doubtful, see you when I’m rolling in gold.”
✧ there are whole days where he just floods your phone with random, blurry photos of some new Mystery Shack "artifact" he found. It’s usually junk he picked up at a garage sale, like a “haunted” ashtray or some knock-off painting that’s “probably ancient.”
✧ If he’s feeling sappy (and tipsy): you might get a rare “thinking bout you, sweet thing” at 2 am. but if you try to call him on it the next day, he’ll just be like “Didn’t say that. You’re makin’ stuff up.”
✧ when he’s really riled up about something, though? then his messages are just. . . a stream of caps-lock curses, mixed with misspelled attempts to describe whatever nonsense he just got himself into. you just sit back and let him rant; he’ll cool off eventually.
✧ and the voice messages are something else. they sound like he’s talking through a fan half the time. one minute, he’s rambling about how tourists are “the dumbest suckers on the planet” and the next, he’s ranting about how “bigfoot definitely broke into the shack last night!"
types of messages Stan texts: 
"So… whatcha wearin’? 😏"
“Hey doll, I just found a penny on the ground! Maybe today’s my lucky day… hint hint ;)"
"I’d say somethin’ romantic, but I think my brain just shorted out. You’re a little too cute for a guy like me."
"Just tried that new café downtown. Ordered coffee… tastes like they filtered it through someone’s laundry. You’d hate it. Wanna come mock it with me?"
"Not gonna lie, I miss that face of yours. So what’re we doin’ about it, huh?"
“Again missin’ that cute little smile of yours… maybe you could send me a pic to remind me?”
"Wanna help me scam the tourists today? I’ll split the loot with ya… maybe ;)”
"You wouldn’t believe what I caught Ford muttering in his sleep. Man’s like a walking encyclopedia, even when he’s unconscious."
“Got any plans later? Thought maybe we could… y’know… not have plans together."
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Ford Pines 
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✧ hehehehe he’s like an old-school emailer who’s just now getting the hang of messaging apps. texts in complete sentences, full punctuation, like he’s drafting a dissertation.
✧ He sends you whole paragraphs at random hours, talking about some discovery he’s made, like he’s reporting directly to NASA. you’re like, “Ford, it's just a weird-looking squirrel." and he's already typing another essay about its "possible interdimensional origins."
✧ once in a while, he’ll send you a message that says, “Are you awake?” at, like 3 am followed by a string of thoughtful yet completely bonkers hypotheses. you find it cute, though, his mind never stops, not even for a second.
✧ If he’s feeling bold, you might even get a “hypothetical” confession out of him: “Hypothetically, if one were to develop... strong emotional attachment to a certain person... how would one proceed?" You tease him about it the next day, and he gets flustered, “It was purely scientific curiosity."
✧ Ford isn’t big on emojis, but he likes the brain and alien ones, using them poetically. he’ll sign off texts with a single brain emoji, like it’s his version of a little goodbye wave.
✧ on really rare occasions, he’ll send a voice message. they’re always way too long, and it’s usually him whispering so he doesn’t wake Stan up. he goes on about cosmic rays or “gravity anomalies,” his voice dropping lower when he gets excited. you live for those moments
✧ and if he ever texts you a “good night,” you just know he’s been up thinking about it for hours, trying to figure out if it’s “appropriate.”
types of messages Ford texts: 
“It’s been approximately 3 hours, 12 minutes, and 23 seconds since our last conversation… not that I’m counting or anything. Just… miss you."
sends a meme about science nerds “Us. But mostly me.”
“My hands ache from writing… though perhaps if it were writing about you, I wouldn’t mind.”
“Do you think about me too, or am I the only one utterly ruined by this… whatever this is?”
“I’ve been thinking about that book you lent me... 🤔 It’s honestly so much more interesting than I expected, thank you for recommending it."
"I don’t know how to work this... But I managed to send a meme! It’s not the worst thing I’ve done, I suppose? 
“I did it. I fixed the telescope. Finally. Now we can actually look at the stars like we’ve talked about. :)"
"I hope you’re feeling okay today. I noticed you seemed a little stressed the other day. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. :) It’s important."
"If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put U and I together. :( Sorry, nerdy joke... :’D)”
ps - I CANT THEYRE SO CUTE BOTH I WANT TO SMASH THEM AGAINST THE WALL
lmao if someone wants, i can write some spicy types of chatting with them :)))
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etruatcaelum · 1 day ago
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He cannot be serious.
Much as I'd like to see the look on Cinder's face when she finds out about yet another of her failures–
So, as long as no one defends the little bitch to my face, then I will bite my tongue, too.
Well, so long as he's clear on his priorities. Summer bolts on an impassive mask, only half-listening to the rest Watts has to say.
Groceries. Yeah, right.
"Soup, then." Even if Salem had cleared out the pantry, there'll still be frozen stock and canned vegetables, preserved meat… and rice, somehow Salem always has rice on hand. "Or– we'll figure it out. I'd raid her garden before sending you thousands of miles away to buy groceries, but let's see what she's got canned first. Kitchen, c'mon."
She strides out of the bedroom before letting the storm clouds gather in her face.
It's funny, almost.
Summer doesn't think of herself as much of a mother—wouldn't put that name on how she feels for Cinder, even if she had scraped the girl off Beacon Tower without a second glance at her own flesh and blood and only a sharp pinch of sorrow for leaving Ruby behind. She's not like Salem. But maybe there is something to be said for that occasional twinge of maternal feeling.
Maybe she's just not vindictive enough to get why you'd savor the thought of rubbing it in that someone failed to kill you. Or spend like six years beefing with a girl half your age.
"You know what's funny, though," Summer says, "Cinder's been hiding injuries and pretending not to be sick for years 'cause she knew you'd take any chance you got to hurt her, and when I figured that out a few years back she asked me not to tell Salem. Because she also knew you hate her more than you fear Salem."
She doesn't keep secrets, not from Salem, but Summer's had a lot of practice biting her tongue around these two. "Like, sorry she set you on fire. Really, I am. I also wish she hadn't banished my kids to God knows where. It's been a fucking harrowing two weeks."
But for fuck's sake–
"What I don't think either of you get," Summer says, voice level. "You guys've spent the last like, six years salivating for Salem to put her in her place. Punish her. Did you think that didn't matter? Like—you are not her colleagues. Cinder's understood that you're both an active danger to her this whole fucking time. So did Salem. So did I. Salem tried real hard to be considerate of your feelings, Watts, and you're going on year seven of throwing a temper tantrum because she cares about Cinder too. But hey, since you wanna see the look on her face so bad, let's all call her together and then you can explain the mess you made!"
Tyrian's sudden and shrill exclamation startles a curse out of Watts, who has to count to ten before he can calmly say, "Feeling better, are we?"
Indeed, there's a repeated bout of shifting under the blankets, as sure an indication as any that Tyrian's tail is gleefully wagging. However, as the tail wags, so too does Watts cast Summer a look - one that reads, There are a lot of logistical problems to explain why we will not be using the airship.
However, he decides against speaking those doubts out loud - figures that Summer already knows of many of them and that, for now, it is best to keep Tyrian calm and happy. In other words, let the man believe they can use the airship until such a time as Summer has contacted Cinder and gotten coordinates for Salem. And then, they will instead either wait it out or use his Semblance. The original plan.
(Ah. But then- there is the matter of Cinder, and the quick flash of purple which Summer's mention of her brings to Tyrian's eyes.)
"You can tell her I'm here," Tyrian says. "I'll concede that. But if you breathe a word about Arthur, I'll-"
"Do nothing," Watts interjects, "because Summer is your friend. As much as I'd like to see the look on Cinder's face when she finds out about yet another one of her failures, the news doesn't have to wait. No need to fret so, Tyrian. Besides! Salem and I already talked about Cinder, and I can only hope the loss of Summer's daughters will have also failed. So, as long as no one defends the little bitch to my face, then I will bite my tongue, too."
Well. Aside from that little dig. But! If he is aware of how little his life or Tyrian's matters to Salem, then he is allowed to be bitter about it. And no matter how much he'd like to- make amends, to eliminate his bad blood with Salem- the urge to leave is still there, and it's all because of that...awareness.
If Salem wants to have no one left but Cinder, the woman she's deluded herself into thinking actually gives a fuck about her, then so be it. Hell, maybe Cinder attempting to kill Summer next will be the wakeup call Salem and Summer so desperately need.
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"As for dinner. Unfortunately, I already checked the kitchens when I was trying to find something for Tyrian. I'm afraid more of what's in the basket on the desk over there-" (a gesture to what remained of the food Salem had previously brought Tyrian) "-and Tyrian's secret stashes of candy are all that there is to eat. And I don't think stir-fry is conducive to Tyrian's condition right now, anyway. He needs to be re-introduced to food slowly. I can- use my Semblance, though. I'll- find the closest area where I might be able to find a store, and I will go there and I will get us all something safe to eat. And," he adds, for Tyrian's benefit, "I will come back. I won't go away before I've- talked to Salem. And to you."
Because even if he wants to leave...it is as he'd said. He doesn't want to lose Tyrian. The whole of Remnant could separate them, and he would still-
"Just...I'll be back. I promise."
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ruxined · 1 day ago
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header by me !
cw : afab r , making out / hickies , mention of saliva once at the end , like 2 curse words , slight implied sex .
e: ellie and r are paired up for a chem project,however things get a more organic reaction
(this is my first fic lmk how it is and some tips if you’d like <3)
You looked around admiring the house as you stood at the porch.It was a pretty normal house honestly and not far from yours,You remember reading the text Ellie sent you before you walked to Her house.
“just knock when you’re here,it’s just gonna be us because i’m home alone for a couple days”
So you did, you knocked and about 2 minutes later Ellie came to the door,dressed in a grey wifebeater tank and some black sweatpants. She leaned slightly on the doorframe , looking you over for a quick second.
“hey, come in”
She said in a quiet monotone but welcoming voice, maybe She was just feeling you out.
You both went inside and up towards Her room,Her house was adorned in timeless and classic decor with pictures of Her and an Older man framed on some of the walls,you just assumed it was Her Father or something.
“this is my room..you can sit and put your stuff anywhere”
She grabs a messy group of papers and Her phone from her desk.
You nod and put your bag down on the floor infront of her bed,sitting on the edge hanging your legs off.Her room was filled with posters and little figurines, some with space related items or dinosaurs. It seemed like She was the nerdy type with a special interest in that kinda stuff even in class.. but You of course, found it cute.
Ellie set up her papers and supplies for the project on her bed,hiking her legs up and sitting across from you on her bed,slightly leaned against the headboard. Her arms flexed with each movement and you tried to keep yourself focused on the task at hand,gently feeling the soft navy blue sheets under you.
“..did you need anything before we start..? ..like food or a snack?”
She tilted her head to the side,Auburn streaks gently fanning her cheeks.
you
“no i’m alright..thanks though”
She nods,starting to write down stuff on her paper. You and ellie talked a handful of times but usually just always ended up paired together in projects or assignments.She couldn’t complain though.. She had always found you pretty attractive and was naturally comfortable around you and just didn’t wanna seem weird or something.
You both started to complete the project, just some chemicals , periodic table blah blah blah.You just couldn’t stop looking at her gorgeous freckles that littered her tanned skin just right, and the way she looked up at you with her greenish hazel puppy eyes, or how her hands were so perfect and how you wonder what her fingers would feel-
“hey..you okay? you’re like..zoning out”
She moves a hair from your face,trying to read your expression.
“yeah u-uhm i’m good! sorry i was just thinking.”
You quickly attempt to poorly hide the fact that you were just caught casually gawking at your study partner.
“right..”
She says softly as she writes down another chemical name.
You both eventually start talking more and getting settled. Ellie is silently noticing how you’re constantly staring at Her lips and how her toned lean muscles flex while she stretches after writing with her pencil.
“..and they have…”
You drag on the sentence, looking up to see Ellie leaning up on the headboard, her tank top riding up barely enough to show her v line.She seemed so clueless and chill but also somehow knew..?
And she did.
“they have…?”
Ellie asks curiously in regards to your unfinished sentence.
“…come right on me.”
It just slipped. You almost didn’t correct yourself because you didn’t realize how outrageous you sounded,Ellie’s facial expressions reminded you quickly.
“what?-
“fuck i meant camaraderie…like they had really good-”
Ellie looks you over for a moment, blinking.
“are you eyefucking me right now or something?”
You freeze in embarrassment. Assuming she probably thinks you’re a weirdo pervert trying to just stare at her instead of studying.
You wouldn’t turn the offer down though.
“no i- im sorry i didn’t-
Ellie leans forward a little closer to you,her eyes flickering down to your parted lips before back up at you in amusement.
“tell me what you want.. like what you actually want.”
You can almost feel her breath on your lips.her eyes gazed into yours and you felt like you could get lost in them forever.You knew you couldn’t lie to her.
“..kiss me..please”
You whined, it came out more breathless than you thought it would and you started to feel the room getting hotter.
Ellie wasted no time gently pressing her plush salmon colored lips onto yours,gently sucking your bottom lip before gently kitten licking it,a silent ask for entrance. She leaned over a little more to get on top of you to kiss you deeper,her hands found their way onto your hips and then your cheeks again,then playing with little strands of your hair. She ran her hands along your body as if she was trying to remember every inch of you,like you’d dissolve in a minute.
“..this is okay right?..we can keep going. if you want.”
Ellie whispered,her warm breath gently hitting the shell of your ear,the faint noise of the chemistry papers falling off the bed was quickly forgotten.
“yeah”
You whisper back.She starts kissing your neck and leaving small marks by your collarbone , nipping at your neck oh so gently while taking her time to find those soft spots that made you feel heat pooling in your lower stomach.
“you’re so beautiful”
She mumbled,wiping the mix of hers and your saliva mixed with your lipgloss / chapstick on the side of your lip,gently pushing you back onto the bed.
let’s just say , you and ellie have really good bed chem.
© All rights belong to ruxined , you may not copy , translate , repost , modify or plagiarize any of my material.
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peachhcs · 11 hours ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/peachhcs/766558720067043328/httpswwwtumblrcompeachhcs766163417530875904
EMMMMMMM! i know you love cliff hangers you always do them :(((( !!! but like still amazing holy crap
yes yes immediately yes. another part for sure!we need will and sam to finally talk
PART 7!!!! (yes there will be more and as many parts as y'all want this to be) here's also a small moment of will dropping eveyrthing for samy, but it will also be in the next part as well 😌
au masterlist
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6
"hello?" will breathed.
"will?" a wave of relief washed through him when he heard samy's familar voice on the other end.
"samy? h-hi.." he was at a loss for words that he couldn't say anything other than hi despite the million questions running through his brain.
"h-hi. i-i'm sorry this is..i haven't called," samy started and will could hear the edge in her voice which made his heart break.
"let's go boys! on the ice!" coach warsofsky called into the locker room, his loud voice making the blonde cringe and curse to himself because this phone call really couldn't have happened at a worse time.
"shit, are you at practice right now? i-i'm sorry..i totally forgot..i can call back?" samy began when she heard his coach through the phone. shit.
will knew he needed to get on the ice or else warsofsky would make him do lines, but he couldn't just hang up now—not when he was finally hearing his girlfriend's voice after a day of not hearing anything. plus, he knew one of the reasons samy probably didn't call until now was because she didn't want to distract him from hockey.
"come on, pick it up! pick it up! we have a long practice ahead of us!" warsofsky boomed again as more of will's teammates filed out of the locker room.
fuck it.
will dashed out of the locker room through the other exit. he scrambled into the hallway where he nearly fell over from his skates still on and the blade cover hitting the tile. "no, no..i can talk. i promise. it's good to hear your voice..i-i was worried," will admitted softly, sinking onto the ground where he pulled his skates off.
"y-yeah. sorry. i'm sorry. i should've called. i don't know i didn't. i just–"
"are you okay? luke told me about your surgery," will cut the brunette off because even though he was upset that she didn't call him, he needed to make sure she was okay first and foremost.
"uh, yeah. i'm okay. just a tendon tear. nothing serious," samy swallowed, glad will couldn't see the anxiety clouding around her while she glanced around the hospital room and luke pretending not to listen.
"a tendon tear is kind of serious..you didn't get up off the field," will said more as a statement.
"i-i..yeah..but i'm fine now. i promise. it just kind of knocked the wind out of me, but i'm fine. i promise," the girl said like she was trying to prove it to herself too.
"i'm glad you're okay. i was really worried about you," his words made samy feel even guiltier, especially because of the soft tone he was using with her even though she expected him to be mad she didn't call sooner.
"i know. i'm sorry. i should've called," the youngest hughes admitted, head hanging low.
"why didn't you?" will asked, his voice still soft which made samy cringe.
"i just..i didn't wanna bother you knowing you're still getting settled into the team and the season..i didn't think it mattered because i'm fine now and it wasn't anything serious like i was dying or something," the brunette admitted again.
"of course it matters. you matter to me. you're my number one priority," his words brought a bright blush to her cheeks.
"you just have so much on your plate..i didn't wanna burden you. didn't wanna..put too much on you and make you run out or something.." samy mumbled the last part and will was pretty sure he felt his heart shatter into a million little pieces hearing her say that.
"you thought i was gonna..leave you again?" the crack in his voice hurt. a lot.
"i dunno..maybe? i didn't wanna.. be too much or something."
the silence engulfed them whole. will pulled a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the right words and samy bit back more tears threatening to escape.
"you know i'd never leave you again, right? i love you, samy. a lot more than i can even begin to explain," finally, will said something while trying to keep his voice from cracking even more.
"i know that."
"you're not a burden to me, i promise. you're the only thing i think about all the time so there's no way you'd be too much for me. if anything, i'm too much for you," his attempt at a small joke made both of them laugh.
"i love you, will. i'm really sorry i was scared to reach out. i guess it's just been hard..trusting again," the brunette mumbled a bit ashamedly and that broke will's heart again knowing samy was still trying to trust him.
before he could respond though, the door next to him burst open and he snapped his head up. macklin stared down at him looking wide-eyed. "there you are, smitty. you gotta get on the ice. coach is looking for you," the brunette rushed out and will knew he needed to go for real this time.
"yeah, okay. i'm on it. tell him i was in the bathroom," will said and macklin nodded as the two hurried back into the locker room.
"i'll call you again, okay? i love you," will said to samy still on the phone.
"yeah, okay. sorry for keeping you. i love you," and that was it. they hung up and the blonde quickly rushed to the rink before he got in even more trouble.
later, while will waited for macklin to finish up his shower, he was on his phone searching plane tickets and the fastest he could get out to michigan. samy's admission earlier broke his heart and he hated she still felt that way, so he wanted to do everything he could to prove to her that she did matter to him and she wasn't a burden.
he found the tickets that would get him out by tomorrow morning and into michigan that afternoon. he glanced up at his teammates and coach's office—he'd get killed if he just left without warning for a few days. he probably wouldn't even play.
but will needed to see samy. he needed to prove to her that he's drop everything for her no matter what.
so he bought the tickets in a few quick taps and they were in his email a second later.
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centralkvetchmonolith · 2 days ago
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Hey hot take but TSwift does NOT make good music. I listened to 1989 all the way through and every song was soooooo mid, or even in cringe territory.
I wanna be clear that this is NOT heterophobia; I found her writing about (straight female) attraction to (white cis) men to be some of the most compelling on the album!! It transported me to another point of view!
Of the singles, "Blank Space" was genuinely enjoyable (though the production suffered in the context of all the other music on the album, bc I could really see the patterns she gets stuck in musically — it *only* really works as a single), and "Shake It Off" was maybe 10% worse than I remembered (which was already bad).
But yeah, we GET it, you wear red lipstick and like to repeat lyrics while going "hey! hey!" at exactly the same pitch in like EVERY song. There's a difference between having motifs and trying to milk a whole album out of MAYBE three songs of material.
Also! This is not misogyny or a hatred of pop! Carly Rae Jepsen has a similar bubbliness to what it seemed like Swift was going for on 1989, and E•MO•TION is one of the best white-girl-pop albums of all time! Olivia Rodrigo idolizes Swift and reuses phrases all the time, but GUTS managed to have both variety AND cohesion while delivering a bevy of messy-bitch bangers! Why search for lesbian chthonotext when Chappell Roan's The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess is right there, two generations down in the Taylorverse?!
Anyway I'm interested in people's thoughts on this, incl. TSwift apologia, but only if you read this far before posting (include a paella emoji 🥘 if yr not just Swiftiebrigading)
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charliedawn · 2 days ago
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Imagine Deadpool always being goofy around you but secretly trusting you more than anybody
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Deadpool is, as usual, a whirlwind of awful decisions whenever he’s around you. He bounces in with finger guns, terrible puns, and his favorite “guess who” game (always tapping your shoulder from the wrong side). He throws around ridiculous pet names like “Buttercup” and “Snickerdoodle” and spends half the time doing terrible impressions or random dance moves just to see if he can get you to laugh.
But then there are moments—tiny, fleeting ones—when he lets his guard slip, and you see a flicker of something softer. Like when you’re both sitting in the middle of his post-fight mess, and he hands you the first aid kit with an awkward, "Hey, doc—patch me up ?" Or when he ‘casually’ invites you to join him on a job, insisting it’s only because he ‘needs someone to carry the snacks.’
One night, after a particularly close call, he actually opens up, sitting next to you in rare silence. He mutters a quiet, "Thanks for, you know, sticking around." Then he’s back to his usual self, laughing it off and talking about how he’s going to name his next bullet after you (in the most loving way, of course).
No one else gets to see that side of him, though; with everyone else, he’s always on guard, always deflecting with humor or sarcasm. But with you, he lets that mask slip—just enough to show that, deep down, he trusts you more than he’d ever admit. And even if he might not say it out loud, he knows you understand.
………………
"UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH ! It's so boooorrriiiiinnnng ! Why isn't there any criminal trying to chop my head off ?!"
He asks and you smile at the impatient vigilante.
"Because, it's Saturday. Even bad guys can take a break from time to time…"
Deadpool lets out another dramatic groan, slumping against the wall as if he’s just received the worst news in the universe. "But Saturdays are prime crime time ! What happened to honor among thieves ? Where’s the commitment ?"
You stifle a laugh, crossing your arms as you lean against the wall beside him. "Maybe they’re on vacation ? Even villains need some self-care."
He rolls his eyes, pulling out a stray bullet and inspecting it for no real reason. "Villain self-care ? What, like mani-pedis and aromatherapy ? ‘Oh look at me, I’m a vicious warlord but I just had to take a spa day !’" He mimics an exaggerated fancy accent, waving his arms around for effect.
You shake your head, grinning. "Maybe they got tired of all the explosions and chaos and thought, ‘Hey, let’s try a quiet weekend.’ Who knows ?"
He sighs, crossing his arms with a pout. "Well, what am I supposed to do with all this pent-up energy ?" He glances at you with a mischievous grin. "C’mon, let's go out and do something reckless ! Or mildly reckless. Or, hey—wanna play ‘Hide and Seek’ on the rooftops ? Loser buys chimichangas !"
You laugh, knowing full well that Deadpool would take any excuse to drag you along on his misadventures, even on the most boring of Saturdays. "Fine, but no rooftops. How about we just grab the chimichangas instead ?"
He perks up instantly, the pout vanishing as if it never existed. "See, that’s why you’re my favorite ! Chimichanga adventure—let’s go !" He leaps up, offering you his hand like he’s about to escort you to the finest restaurant in town. "Saturday saved !"
You take his hand, and he pulls you up with an exaggerated flourish, bowing as if he’s some gentleman from another era. "My dear snuggle-muffin, tonight we dine…taco truck style !"
Laughing, you let him lead you outside, where he immediately starts rambling on about his ‘top-secret plan’ to one day create a chimichanga empire that will rival all fast-food chains. He even sketches out a logo idea in the air, claiming it would be like Taco Bell but with more ‘POW !’ and less ‘corporate.’
On the way, he’s darting around every street corner and alleyway, occasionally peeking into windows. "Still no villains lurking around… they’re really letting me down today," he grumbles, but his annoyance seems to fade as soon as you reach the brightly lit food truck. Deadpool claps his hands together, practically vibrating with excitement. "Two of your most dangerous chimichangas !" he declares to the vendor, his eyes gleaming with an almost childlike joy.
As you both sit on a nearby bench with your food, Deadpool munches happily, occasionally tossing bits in the air and catching them in his mouth. After a few bites, he glances at you, his mask scrunched up slightly as if he’s about to say something serious. But then he just nudges your shoulder. "Y’know, this is almost better than fighting bad guys."
You give him a playful shove. "Almost ?"
"Fine, equally as good," he grins, taking another big bite. There’s a moment of comfortable silence, with just the city noise around you, and he looks at you with a sincerity that’s rare for him. "Thanks for sticking around, even on the boring days."
You smile back, knowing that under all the jokes and chaos, this goofy, unpredictable vigilante values you more than he lets on. "Anytime, Wade. Even on Saturdays."
He pauses, then pulls you into a one-armed hug, messy and warm. "Alright, alright—now hurry up ! Next round’s on me, and I’m feeling brave enough to try the spicy ones. Bring it on, Saturday !"
You laughed. Yeah…That promises to be a very good Saturday indeed.
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skriblee-ksk · 5 months ago
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“I feel free. It’s been some time since I felt like this without any other clinging emotions. How serene… Is what I would say if I didn’t hear shouting. I should get back inside.”
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Tap Home Groovy: The outfit? Oh, Ryoko helped me choose it! I chose an interesting one myself, but Ryoko talked me out of it. I thought it was okay, but I trust her judgment! I’ve been told my fashion sense is odd multiple times before anyway.
Home Transition Groovy: Surprisingly an average level of chaos! I thought it’d spike dramatically since nearly the entirety of RSA is here, but it’s pretty manageable as always!
Glimmering Soirée is an even hosted by @starry-night-rose!!
Og post here!
More silly stuff under cut!!
Yayyy!! Finally done!!!!
Thank u for witnessing the story of how Kiyuu came here to see pretty ppl. Made a few lil stuff:
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Kiyuu who, next to helping the Princes, volunteered to oversee the rest of the event as well (Crowley was super happy [with himself]).
Extra knowledge stuff for funsies:
Ryokiyuu had Grim in those baby carriers for the first few minutes of the ball. He ended up escaping though (They let him go because they felt bad and because they dressed him up fancy and trusted him enough and etc.)
Kiyuu would have fangirled over every single person in the party (usually secretly unless she knew the other person was comfortable receiving a flurry of compliments) and ultimately ended up not being able to vote for the Belle of the Ball (LOL).
Very honestly, Kiyuu probably hung around Jack and/or Ryoko (if she wasn’t busy) for the latter half of the ball because she got tired (not of socializing or anything, just in general) and went to one of the few people she felt most comfortable being vulnerable with.
I didn’t mention Azul and Malleus in the lines because like. I just couldn’t fit them in. So their relationships are!!:
Azul and Kiyuu have a strict business relationship because she used to work part time at the Mostro Lounge from Book 3 to Book 5 (Ryoko always double checked Kiyuu’s expenses because she was worried Kiyuu would get scammed). They’re amiable but not really close.
Malmal and Kiyuu are friends!! Kiyuu likes stargazing so they actually meet up quite often out of school. Kiyuu fell in love (aesthetic attraction) at first sight, and they have a normal friendship!
Here’s the one without the groovy:
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and scrap:
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Yay yay this event was so fun to draw for!! I loveeee ballroom types of events (as an otome isekai lover). And thanks for reading this far!!
Taglist (ask to be added!!): @kathxrat-01 @distant-velleity @scint1llat3 @elenauaurs @boopshoops
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orcelito · 2 months ago
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Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.
And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...
And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!
I shall simply write fanfic about it.
#speculation nation#pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died#and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What#but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman#and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state#but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it#thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.
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deus-ex-mona · 6 months ago
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goodxnight guys~~~
#completely forgot that there was another lxl interview back from when the [redacted] anime had just finished airing lmao#it’s from the same feature in which the [redacted] anime director outright said that thing about mona lol#(as in: ​the ‘mona’s a popular character with a fleshed out backstory but she’s just hiyori’s therapist friend in this loloops’ thing)#i was in such an upset disbelief about it at the time that i completely forgot about the lxl interview man… 2k22 sure was *a* year huh#maybe i’ll get to this interview on either wednesday or this weekend… i need to prepare my lxl tling mindset for the album interview lol#(im still unsure if the magazine will ship lmfao it’s been processing for a g e s [read: 3 days] since i bought it lmao)#(​either way i think itll only come in earliest by this weekend bc im still waiting for my nghy impulse purchase standees too)#(and even if it does come i wanna tl the kawaikute gomen vol 1 bonus manga first [if it actually arrives])#(women’s wrongs are always top priority yk~~~~?)#(though. haha… i think i’ll have the entire hw manga collection when my next batch of purchases come in… s o b s my storage space—)#(the dolce manga exist as just ebooks in my collection thoughhhh. the dolce manga is p much the perfect mix of crack and tragedy tbh)#(like. there are scenes with girisha and his *girisha-ness* b u t there are also scenes with fuuma and his heartbreaking backstory)#(re-reading my (frankly) bad tl of ‘happy’ (shiina chapter) doesn’t make me happy at all.)#(i should really get round to reworking it these days… like the fonts and such are *atrocious*)#b u t i digress anyway lxl old interview tl (maybe) coming soon this week depending on exhaustion levels sorry for clogging the dash gn guys
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moe-broey · 6 months ago
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Guy whose life motto is You can always just leave, if it sucks hit the bricks!:
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elegyofthemoon · 7 months ago
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ok but do i want to actually sit and read through all the clockie animation stuff so i have better foundation for what i want to say? i guess
#avil plays hsr#idk if i actually want to write this ramble because i started rewatching a bunch of scenes that i needed to figure my thoughts out#but the more i gather the more im getting lost with myself so im like MMMMM#i gotta line these pieces up first#i think the trickiest thing about gallagher is wondering how much of what he says is true vs false#UH#ill just tag this as#hsr 2.1 spoilers#because thats the ramble in the tags#but like as a follower of enigmata hes prone to lying and conjuring even more riddles to confuse you#so i just have to wonder too#and if his whole facade as gallagher is fake. then how did he actually become part of the bloodhound?#sunday points out how gallagher stoles features from so many members of the family so. i just have to wonder#he couldnt have changed his identity without being noticed#so thats where i get confused. like How did you get in here in the first place using your disguise?#how did you fool people?#ANSWER MY QUESTIONS MAN (SHAKES GALLAGHER)#at the very least though: i think what he says about mikhail is true#i want to believe those are true even despite his false front#the things i want to talk about is like#well first i wanna make a whole timeline of the historical events of penacony#and that will give me a better idea of how things led to one another to present time#and THANKFULLY i rewatched because now i understand what gallagher meant possibly by traitor#but how did the family come to be?#how did the dreammaster come to be? (SHAKES THE GAME)#ok so i have to read more. so this will take longer#unfortunately maybe by the time i get all the information i want itll be too late and someone else wouldve said#SOMEONE PROBABLY DID#but i like the satisfaction of pulling the pieces together myself. thats the satisfaction of solving cases and puzzles ✨#my desk looks ridiculous now because its like. sticky notes everywhere because im like I HAVE TO MAKE NOTE OF THIS
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keeps-ache · 18 days ago
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once again i am on the playlist lol
#just me hi#my strange brain concoctions back at it again lmfsh#i've been workin on it by bits and bits for the past 2-3ish days and i think i've almost got what i mean hfvbs#yea... mnmnm...#//outta the Lagoons into the Blues !! what a transition hkfshv#i mean i Have found that i actually really really like the shampoo we've been using for like 5 years hghfsv#but also i've had to switch from that one to a different one anyway cuz my hair? is grezy ghfbshv#it Is soft now though which is cool :D cuz the old soap didn't get it quite well and i was using dish soap sometimes to strip it so Lmao#which btw the dish soap worked p well. however it Did feel stripped kgfhsv#/what else what else uuum#i've developed more world stuff for pi.e which is also very epic and neat ; like the 3 Cities + radiation towns + Sanctuary cities +#Sanctuary zones + how they interact w/ each other lol :)#i have these weird lil creatures that i'm calling Rascals rn but i think they need a different name pfshv#and also cuz i made the general world bigger that means i have defined more of the plot just by. scribbling some points for towns on paper#yea :D this thing is maybe just a little bit daunting but i'll prolly get it figured out lol ; roman 3#/oh i Do really wanna draw more pi.e stuff to post hfh :>#cuz despite it all i am still v shy abt my stuff and that's kinda silly so !!#/sometimes my brain gets into these weird paper jams where i'm doing one thing but then i see and wanna do another thing (easy transition ?#but then i see another thing and then another and now i have 4 different things and i feel bad just focusing on just one because. ??? ????#when i was little i used to humanize objects Just before they were thrown away and i think that sort of carried over in a weird way bfhsvgj#balance in all things !! wait no not like that w-#//oh wait wait did i ever mention i learned to make stir fried rice w/ egg#prolly not that big of a deal but i'm STILL happy abt that lol :D#maybe especially cuz i was doing most of the cooking while my picky-cook brother was helping and he thought it was good so like YAY#though tried to make it a second time and i let my ma put the salt in the pot and she oversalted it by Far TwT#it was fine though just really salty lol :)#//mnm also getting into classic vehicles a lil bit#just a bit! cuz i don't know where to start and i just really like that one bike i doodled a bit ago#also i'm a bit spooked that my dad will find out and he is Overwhelming when he finds you might like smth he knows smth abt gfvsgh <3#//Oh i'm outta tag space pfshgv - Toodlesssss ciao :3
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nexus-nebulae · 24 days ago
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got myself a little pocket radio bc you never know when severe weather might knock out the power or cell towers but apparently there aren't any weather radio stations i can pick up :/
#there just aren't any in my area#and im right in between the two closest stations so they interfere since they're on. the same frequency#there ARE other radio stations in my city im listening to one right now that plays alt rock#like From This City not even a neighbour city#but there's none that report weather#i wanna have a weather radio bc i have a deep fear of tornadoes#ive been doing tornado drills since i was a small small child they're a pretty common thing here#and i have had. so so many nightmares where i got stuck somewhere during a tornado#stuck in a car as it gets picked up or stuck at school watching the building just disintegrate in front of me#one time we did actually get stuck at the school during a tornado warning they couldn't let us go home bc we had to shelter#so we were kept at the school for maybe an hour until the warning lifted just curled up with our heads down for so long#i still instinctively know the tornado sheltering position- legs folded under you; head down as far as possible; hands covering your neck#even though i haven't done a drill since i moved nearer to the lake#tornadoes get less common closer to the lake but living in the middle of nowhere they just Spawn Everywhere#another time we got word of one touching down while i was on the school bus going home#i was literally the last student on the bus and we were like at the corner about to turn to my street#and the bus driver decided to just stop there and let me sprint home bc it was faster cutting through the woods than going up the driveway#she just opened the door and said 'just go straight to your basement don't stop don't wait for anything'#she waited to make sure i could find the key bc i was home alone and then just drove the school bus to her own house so she could shelter#I've never seen any tornado damage firsthand but like. you never know when one could just wipe out a town#especially small towns like my old hometown if that place ever got hit by a tornado nothing would be left#it's literally one street that's the town center and most of the residences it's TINY and getting smaller every year#i think it'll be a ghost town soon most of the businesses have shuttered and a lot of houses are condemned
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insanechayne · 2 months ago
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#I hate who I am when I start missing human contact and feeling lonely#I start missing someone who was awful to me simply because they were reliable in talking to me every day and at least sort of my friend#I start craving the connections that you see in media even though I know those types aren’t real#it seems like everyone else has more people and better people and closer people in their lives than me#it seems like everyone has best friends and partners that are closer to them and better for them#and idk it just feels like things are missing from my life#I have a partner but I can’t always talk to them when I need to because they can’t always handle a conversation#I have a best friend but he barely ever answers my calls and things feel distant between us lately#I have other friends but they’re not the kinds that I feel I could turn to for help when I’m lonely like this#I have my parents but neither of them are very good at comfort in these situations#and I just want to cry because I feel so completely by myself and I don’t know what to do anymore#I just want someone to talk to and who will listen to me when I need help and advice and be there for me#I’m starting to really miss the wrong people again even though I know I’m better without them in my life#but at least I could send them anything and get a response fairly soon when I needed to#at least for a while they were very close to me and i think that’s what I really miss most of all#just the closeness of another person since I don’t always feel that with other relationships these days#it’s times like these I wish I’d just killed myself at 16 so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this over and over forever#it’s times like these I wanna fade away#if I’m going to be alone anyway then why bother keeping others around at all? why not just break off and go be a hermit somewhere else?#but I can’t do that because I have too many responsibilities that I need to take care of#idk maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with#pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to make it this long in the first place#I mean I’m being facetious cause I’m not overly suicidal and I’m not actually going to do anything#just kinda wish I could in a weird sort of way#like missing the feeling of a blade slicing my skin since I stopped cutting a long time ago#just want more out of my relationships and from myself and from my life and idk how to get any of that#personal
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