#maybe a couple :))) bc i want to
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one downside to digital mediums of art is that you cant see the tear stains (they just slide down the screen)
#turtlearts#tf2#team fortress 2#not even gonna lie i dont think ive ever struggled to draw as much as i had during this time#these are also a couple months old . and oh my god#i literally thought i was going insane. deep in the clutches of 3/4 head hell and i couldnt escape#like no sleep levels of drawing the same thing again and again until i either got exhausted or just gave up#when the therapist and psych nurse i had at uni said that i have ocd tendencies maybe they were onto something lowkey#side note but thanks to tf2 spy i got a butterfly knife trainer bc i wanted to do tricks#unfortunately i lost the knife :(( but i did learn a couple (really simple) tricks which was neat :)
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i saw an angel today. he came to collect the debt
#sorry Corvo i wanted your face out again. the mask is cool af and i'll draw it one day. just not today.#I'm not fully satisfied with how it turned out. the colors are nice but the combination itself is nuclear#maybe I'll revisit it later and fix a couple of things but for now I'm done#out of sight out of mind#dishonored#daud#corvo attano#i really hope the composition is readable and doesn't look weird. i can't give it a sober opinion bc i spend too much time staring at it ha#daud looks dope though. maybe the only thing I'm sure about in this pic#tumblr PLEASE don't ruin the quality#art tag
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im so Normal. totally not shaking and crying rn
#its nice to be this excited about something again! to the point of nausea!#and i Mean That#this is the good kinda stress. tis a welcome break from the usual brands#all week i've been having moments of 'ohhhh god New Information Incoming' and i have to sit down every time#and measure my breathing to chill tf out#is this unhealthy! maybe! i am trying to keep it Contained!! tightly leashed if you will#BUT OH FUCK ITS ALMOST HERE AGH AGH AGH#absolutely unprompted#welcome home#i will probably be unable to discover secrets bc i am bad with computers and the like#but hey! ill try!#if there's like... a spoiler tag yall want from me ill make sure to tag any Update Posts with it#then again wh is a unique scenario of like... Are there spoilers#bc it feels like a 'a couple people uncover stuff and then show/tell the rest' thing#but what would i know! this is kinda the first update!#LETS GO GAMERS I HOPE THE NEW STUFF IS TRAUMATIZING FOR BOTH US AND THE CHARACTERS#alright im getting to excited again im gonna go lay down#gonna be refreshing pages every ten seconds even when its completely illogical and meaningless to do so
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Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don't see Byler having kids. Like, at all. 🤷
#and not just bc it was harder for gays in the past#they just don't strike me as the type#plenty of gay couples don't have kids#i feel it's common in fandom and especially among young afab ppl to have the kids vision#but just bc a couple are soulmates for life and want to grow old together#doesn't mean kids are part of the equation#i think mike and will would be happier just playing thejr games and maybe get a pet or two#just my two cents#byler headcanons#byler headcanon#byler hc#byler
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insane how people act like charles is ‘the jealous one’ like edwin didnt spend the whole first episode screaming crying throwing up every time charles looked at crystal and not him
#obv its deeper than that#like after 30 years of almost always taking edwins side on everything#he suddenly leaves WITH SOME RANDOM GIRL while saying he has a poor attitude and hes like? do i? yeah bc the living suck right? right?#and he decides to stay annoyed when they come back bc he LEFT him ugh. for a GIRL. like they’re actually still teens in school#so he really really hopes this is a passing fancy. like a pet or something. a wounded bird that we CANNOT KEEP#and when charles points out that it is in fact jealousy (which by charles time is not at all couple exclusive) it literally takes him aback.#bro said ‘jealous?’ so breathlessly like cmon. but b4 he could let that sink in crystal wakes up so he lets it go#probably had a whole internal convo where he reconciled being able to be friend-jealous and then kicked it up. like really up#‘maybe its your outfit’ and ‘also we are punishing you’ and ‘are you ready to talk to her shoes’#‘you spoke to a demon in this friendly malt shop’ and ‘oh you love this dont you’ and ‘saved you one time and now you wont leave either’#like yes he IS jealous and yes he WILL make it everyone’s problem on purpose#do i even have to pull out ‘of course you fell for a living girl’ (looks at him through his lashes) help him#90 percent of these are from the FIRST EPISODE okay#episode 1 edwin is THE cattiest bitch so it tracks that the cat king wants him#point is they are both insanely jealous ok#dbda#dead boy detectives#payneland#paineland#bumblysdumbly
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"From triumph to failure is but one step."
+ the usual
I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.
+ version without text
My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:
Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.
Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3
I. Renault
At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.
II. Ferrari
Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.
III. Aston
Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.
Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(
#woooo yeah totally a spanish gp poster sure sure.....#idk i cant pretend to be relevant. i just wanted to draw matadors bcs it was spain gp wknd#maybe next year ill draw him as the prince of asturias#very proud of the narrative of this though#I do think it's very relavant to the story of his career and his relationship to the spanish gp#see i even downloaded a special font! sdjkglr#also do let me know which is your fav Nando on this poster!!!! <3#even tho the aston nando is lowkey the reason behind this whole poster. im super smitten with renault nando#i wonder which fernando would be 'freeze'#also i swear one day im gonna accidentally stab myself with the big ass sword i use to take ref pics for matador au#HOPE THIS ISNT TOO SAD EVEN THO I KNOW IT IS!!!#i mean it was never really supposed to be triumphant. more just *heavy thoughts*#but the lacklustre results and the fact that i feel like i havent even seen nando that much this wknd fueled the depressing read more#i am not immune to being overly dramatic and angsty </3#hey you never know man maybe this will work as reverse psychology and he'll do well in a couple hours!! we'll see...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#matador au#2024 spanish gp#fa14
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i think part of why marc is so interesting from a rpf/general fandom perspective as a CHARACTER besides like idk, being the drama, is because yeah he’s a PR master and a frequent liar but he’s also like. so pathologically himself. spotty poker face. yapper. bad at little subtle social cues sometimes. intense. and he likes to be seen and known and understood! so even when he IS lying or doing blah blah pr speak, either there’s some layer of truth hidden near or inside the lie, his actions blatantly contradict said lie, or he will just straight up admit that he was lying later ! like he has to be himself he simply has to
#like he’s not repressed AT ALL and he is so. himself. yayyy#like again vale would rather saw off his arm than cry on camera i think… he DOESNT have any self produced little documentaries…#he deflects more than he lies…. meanwhile marc just really wants people to see him and misses a few benchmarks for seeming normal#just bc they simply do not seem to occur to him. which is SO interesting to me in the context of their feud yeah#but also what the HELL the communication would be like in that couple#vale who manipulates and blindsides and deflects vs marc who stonewalls and retreats misses the cues that things are wrong#both. insanely stubborn as well.#motogp#callie speaks#this was about his little creams in the gc vid really bc he’s like well maybe i shouldve have brought these they’re embarrassing …#and it just hadn’t really occurred to him before to bring cooler influencer stuff shhshs
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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i haven't mentioned this before but one tommy kinard family lore idea i'm really attached to is his mother passing away during childbirth, while giving birth to him. just something something about him and buck both growing up haunted by this feeling of a life lost in exchange for theirs where tommy is aware of it his entire life, where his father slaps him in the face with the fact every chance he gets, in contrast to buck's ignorance and the sense of hollowness he feels in the pit of his stomach. something something about the buckley parents' grief translating to neglect and blindness when it comes to buck vs the kinard patriarch's grief becoming words that cut a bit too close to tommy's skin and pressure and unrealistic expectations that make him feel like he's gonna choke. something something about buck feeling unsettled all his life, lost about who is because of daniel's passing and maddie's abandonment and his parents' neglect of it all vs tommy knowing exactly who - what - he is but not being able to look it in the eye because it would be the one thing to make him even more worthless in his father's eyes than his existence costing them his mother's life.
#also tommy being a mama's boy to a mother he's never met#attaching himself to the idea of her as some sort of solace from his dad#maybe he even has a couple older brothers who are just the type of sons his father wants#who also lost their mother “because of tommy”#who are kinard's real sons bc he had them with his wife and tommy is just an unwanted reminder who couldnt measure up even if he wasn't gay#anyways this is not a hc lol obv bc theres no canon basis for it#i just thought it could be a good backstory different enough from all the bad dads we've seen in the show so far#tim minear let me in the writers room for my self indulgent ideas please#bucktommy#911#tevan#kinley#tommy kinard#911 fic#not really#mimi.txt
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JADEITE REDOLENCE ❖ favorite chenyu vale overworld tracks
#genshin#genshinedit#genshinet#genshin impact#chenyu vale#jadeite redolence#m:gifs#m:*#m:gifs:scenery#m:top#ive been wanting to do this kind of thing for a while for several albums actually but jadeite redolence is the one where i RAN to do it lol#(overworld albums i mean)#if i find the motivation i might do it for a couple other albums this was fun :> maybe once im funemployed ajfldkjads (iykyk)#originally there were only gonna be 9 but then there were 2 i absolutely couldn't bear to leave out so i added 3 more#and that includes me trying to avoid repeating leitmotifs/areas and also avoiding any non-overworld tracks#but anyways it was fun running around looking for shots to gif. chenyu vale in general is just so pretty#im so happy with the goat shot bc i wasn't trying to get the goat it just happened to walk into frame PERFECTLY#the yilong wharf one (through clouds and rivers) is the only one where the song doesn't actually play where that's recorded#but like. if your giffing yilong wharf it HAS to be that shot its literally the album cover LMAO#this coloring is also kind of out of my comfort zone but i think i like it.... i slept on it and didn't wake up regretting it so adsjklasdf
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top 5 dihua moments
HELLO ohhh goddd if i really really really have to pick... I'LL TRY (in tears)
in chronological order of the episodes:
(1) “你这个人最大的弱点就是喜欢当英雄。一个剑客不该有弱点。” your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses. (ep 1)
i'm as in love with the entire donghai scene as much as the next person but this dialogue is particularly special to me. so it was the first one i pinned down for this list. no hesitation. :)
it's a cornerstone of dihua's relationship; the thesis of lxy/llh's and their joint narrative. it prompts the deconstruction of the staple wuxia ideas of 侠 xia and heroism - which is what i really love lhl for. and dfs being the one to deliver this incredibly crucial and significant line is 10/10. he knew lxy even better than lxy did. he is the bearer and catalyst of lhl's story, lxy/llh's story.
"your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses." so what does it even mean to be a hero. is it more important to be a hero than being human. and i will become human. i am human and always have been. and i have weaknesses - i cannot win against fate, i am dying. but what ever is even wrong with being weak? being human is to have weaknesses. so i guess it's no wonder for the narrative to come in a full circle with dfs coming in possession of a weakness and be trapped in it. no longer the killer of di fortress. he's just a human being.
and llh bringing this up again in ep 11 feels to me that he had been carrying these words with him over the past 10 years. bicha and the battle have transformed him physically. but i like to think that dfs's words had an important role to play in an even deeper level of change.
all it took was this one scene to sell to me that this would probably be the kind of narrative i love.
(2) reunion in the woods (ep 8)
it's just so fucking good like literally every dihua scene. who doesn't love a good post-divorce first meeting scene. there's just a lot to chew on. most of all, llh just had to keep reminding dfs how well he knew dfs. we know the moon has always been this bright, alright. AND they were threatening each other. very sexy of them.
(3) whatever the heck was going between them in cailianzhuang arc (ep 11)
truly nothing brings out old married couple + parents vibes better than an inquisitive boy accusing you two of being up to something secretive behind his back. both their guilty expressions. :3 also dfs being the first person huahua goes to when he doesn't want to be alone. huahua being exceptionally chatty around dfs and dfs has no problem entertaining him. :3 they're totally on the same wavelength without having to say anything to each other and this arc brings it out so well.
(4) 腊月二十七 donghai anniversary wedding night (ep 38)
this is the last one i came up for the list after fighting a whole war in my mind over which 5 of the 100000 beloved scenes to pick. hate being predictable but. you just HAVE to give it to it. how do you NOT pick this for a top 5. all the 10 million other top 5 dihua scenes just had to make space for the anniversary scene. :'(
if i had to be even more specific, i think the scene of them in bed most likely takes the cake for me. llh literally saved dfs's life and helped him to become the stronger person he has always wanted to be. and perhaps no other moment exhibits the complementary yin and yang nature of their powers/energies in a more illustrative and palpable way. undershirts in bed just hits different from being fully clothed and one person literally having to keep the other person alive by touch...and this time it's llh for dfs despite the whole time it's dfs who was dedicated to keep llh alive. they have no lack of scenes that exhibit how in sync they are intellectually, and this is peak physical intimacy and tenderness, added with a brush with death/mortality yeah...
(5) llh/lxy's farewell to dfs (ep 40)
playing cheat here by combining two different moments :) but they are essentially connected. llh/lxy had to leave. and since it really had to be that way, i'm glad dfs was on his mind until the very end. what more can one ask for. there is really nothing more dear and tender in the world to be thought of
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tl;dr: /blows kisses to every dihua moment
#anon idk why u did this to me but i love you. and thank you for the ask <3 my head exploded from doing the curation exercise <3#i also have a couple of other specific scenes i wanted to call out but there's just no more room sighs#idk my answers are leaning mostly to the earlier arcs also bc those are the ones ive been rewatching most lately.#come back in 2 months maybe lmao. repeat until every dihua scene is listed lol#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#lhl#dihua#my posts#asks#anon#lhlmeta
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My life expectancy increases by decades whenever YinWar discuss their brand of fanservice and their boundaries on that matter. These men never mince words to remind their own fandom and media alike that whatever fanservice crumbs they drop are nothing but a performance, and that their off-camera relationship is nobody's business but theirs since they're a lot closer than they'll ever let the public see.
#this entire video is very insightful and enjoyable#today i love yw greatly tomorrow maybe even more so#engfa waraha#yin anan#war wanarat#yinwar#it's so entertaining to watch them shoot down your average clownery bc they're always so witty and classy abt it though#you can make a sport out of pinpointing the times they realise they're abt to touch casually#and they immediately pull away in the most awkward way imaginable (lol)#bc they refuse to give anything that could be mistaken for fanservice when they don't want to#i've nothing but respect for the way they treasure their friendship and thus keep most of it private#or how they went against industry standards as a new bl couple back in 2020#that being said one of my favourite moments will forever be war yeeting himself off yin's lap as soon as he noticed a camera 😂
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i was so excited for venom 3 and was so unimpressed 😭 when it ended i was just like “…oh” and i have so many thoughts but i need to watch it again before i fully form them
#and i won’t be paying to see it again in theaters#a quick informal ramble ab my thoughts tho#i feel like what makes any venom media fun and interesting to partake in is the relationship between venom and eddie#like their relationship is the foundation of the plot and everything else happening is in parallel/connected to what’s going on between them#and this movie focused on their relationship like zero percent#like ofc there were a few moments here and there maybe but in all honesty the first time we see any emotion about how they feel ab each#other is at the end of the movie when they realize one of them will have to die#and i feel like we lowkey focused TOO much on the area 51 b plot#like i definitely liked the alien invasion vibes and that aspect but we spent too much time there to be having the same#fun as the first two movies#i feel like they could’ve used the codex as a source of tension between them bc they both were too uncomfortable not being able to mesh#fully whenever they wanted like they’ve spent such a long time together#and this would be removing an aspect of their relationship#esp when the whole thing that makes them special is that they’re symbiotic and have a unique and incredible bond#but ur telling me they can’t fully venom out and they’re both just like darn inconvenient#and then do it anyway a couple of times flippantly like for the dance w mrs chen#which was like such a random plot point to draw the creature back to them#clearly i have more thoughts than i initially believed#venom the last dance#venom 3#venom#symbrock
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I'm so close...... NY!Hrid is at +9. One more and I can drop the game.... I just love him so much and this alt is so happy and I need it for him...
#fe heroes#hrid#man i was looking back at my hrid art and i wanted to reblog some of it but then im like#mm nah most of my followers have seen it i wont force it upon them again#but i really do love hrid so uh here im so close to being done but i have to grind orbs#because my luck is abysmal right now as i glare at the red he shares with his sister#as i stare at the singular reds that drain my orbs just a bit faster than multiple reds#i mean GRANTED im at least GETTING reds but still#wild to me that i pulled a ny unit on his banner as a four star special after pulling her on her rerun banner#like i didnt already have her .... and it wasnt a red#so at least my pity wasnt broken by it but still wild that i pulled a ny rerun hero on a ny rerun banner that wasnt hers#i think i actually traded a couple of ny!gunns for feathers previously bc i keep pulling her instead of hrid#this alt is so much fun and i love it for him he deserves it ! since is doesnt want to acknowledge him otherwise#i say as i stare at last years summer banner casually name dropping him to say#wow sure is a shame hrid isnt here with us - maybe he will be next year#let hrid have nice things 2024 challenge
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met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.
#i tried so hard to be funny and nice but the way they replied to each thing i said made me feel like a scumbag LOL#ive never had that happen before. im very polite when i talk to strangers and i was being very polite then too!#i dont think they even saw it happening in realtime bc they were so calm and even keeled about it#but my god. still thinking about it. absolutely rattled me.#'ur so cool' 'oh its not the olympics. everyones cool. ur cool too' 'haha ur right yet ur still winning' 'hm. its not a competition.'#i was trying to make you laugh im sORRY i was being goofy when i said that i promise i did not say it straight#'you have so many cool tattoos' 'oh ive got a couple tattoo artist friends' 'oh thats so cool. maybe i could get a foot in the door'#like obviously as a joke but they replied gently 'you shouldnt seek friends out just to get something from them.'#NO I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY IT HAPPENS TO ME CONSTANTLY I KNOW TRUST ME#i panicked and was like 'oh haha no i wasnt serious dont worry. im an artist so i know the feeling.' but i guess it came across as like#yknow. bc they just went 'hm.' and pulled out their phone#FUMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so embarrassed#the worst part was id been talking to someone in the back who makes familiar plushies and shed set a few out#so i was talking to them while i was trying to pull up her insta to look up more info about one of the familiars#bc it looked SO FUCKING COOL and i stood there saying that to my husband right in front of them after this legendary fumble#finally pulled up the insta post for it and. they own that one. its theirs. they dressed it like that. i was so fucking embarrassed skdjfks#i wanted to look at the pricetag bc i assumed it was there bc she HADNT sold it yet#god. legendarily embarrassed.
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,
#talked about this leading up to it but they Did play like real people do#and i couldnt even see through my tears#hurts so bad on so many levels like i have never done All That. smthng so vital to My humanity#and then leaving the venue watching all the couples holding hands including the one that i came with.#pain just lots of pain my head hurts so bad i cried so hawrd#talkys#adn also he's literally so beautiful i hate my life#NOT in a parasocial way i jst do thingk he's handsome its the hair for sure#qlso remember how i wanted to make a piece about how like#i cant even look at old sculptures of humans bc it feels so. like. here i am looking at something resembling human-ness#and i cant touch it.#this felt like an extension in the way of the song being played ykwim#once again just spectating listening unable to do anything with my feelings#i crushed my best friends hand about it. while she leans over and kisses her boyfriend#it will always be something just maybe barely there in the distance. unattainable#i myself am an untouchable statue only human in resemblance etc
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