#maybe I’ll make a whole long rant about what we do and don’t know about her abilities some day

[saixria]

I built a whole idea of “what if athena has been in quick thought dimension overlooking epic’s events all this time” (not likely considering QT basically stops time) on the fact that athena was just already sitting on the edge of QT hourglass when she pulled Odysseus in in ICHBW (also the fact that we can’t be sure she’s ever been physically present in any of the sagas — she could’ve just been a projection like in we’ll be fine even as she appeared to Odysseus in WOTM. Though. Technically she might not have appeared to him either at all. Odysseus is pulled into QT right before the “enlighten me” part and the livestream never explicitly said athena appeared to him physically. Anyway.) when the actual reason COULDVE been that she just straight up was not physically able to stand. LMAO

…but then again, QT should just be like their minds. She shouldn’t feel any pain or physical strain in QT cuz it’s supposedly just thinking at insane speeds. Or does QT dimension work differently?

[clockwayswrites]

Danny in Metropolis, ch4 p2

masterpost dying of this miiiiiiiiigraine. Like a knife to my braaaaaaaaaaain and weird cold spos. the cold spots are new. ._. please no editing or con crit

Lois was the first parent home; it was her turn to pick Jon up from school. As soon as Kon heard the door unlock he sent her a text to not call up, Danny was asleep. He was a little surprised to see her poke her head in the door about ten minutes later.

“Poor thing doesn't look so good,” she said with a worried little frown as she took in the sight.

Danny had basically passed out mid rant. The whole conversation (which Kon had started hoping for this result) Danny had slipped further and further down onto Kon's bed and the conveniently place pile of pillows until he'd fallen asleep with his head on Kon's leg.

Kon had frozen and not moved and inch since.

“He didn’t eat much lunch, and I just thought that at least here someone would keep an eye on him,” Kon explained in a soft mumble.

“Of course honey, you know he’s welcome any time,” Lois said, voice equally soft as she padded quietly over to the bed. She pressed the back of her hand against Danny’s forehead.

Kon wondered if knowing how to do that just came with being a parent.

“Well no fever. He feels cold if anything,” Lois said. She moved over to the massive beanbag in the corner of Kon’s room and grabbed the blanket off it. (Wonder Girl themed, because Cassie was like that.) She tucked it around Danny. “Do you know what’s wrong? I can look through out medicine, but with with my boys the way you are three, we don’t have a great stock. I can ask Clark to stop on the way home if we need anything.”

“No,” Kon admitted with a little frown. “But maybe something for nausea I guess?”

“I’ll see what we have,” Lois said before she leaned over and pressed a kiss to Kon’s forehead like she did Jon’s all the time. “And I’ll have Clark grab at least some ginger ale on the way home.”

“Thanks, Lois,” Kon said gratefully. “Oh, and for dinner—”

“I’ll see what I can do with the chickpeas I’ve noticed appearing in the pantry and make plenty of beans,” Lois said.

“You’re the best.”

“I know,” Lois said with a smug little smile before she swept quietly out of the room and closed the door behind her.

It might have been Lois leaving or the click of the latch or maybe even the warmth of the blanket, Kon didn’t know, but Danny shifted. Like a seal on the pier, Danny pushed himself further up the bed and landed a very pointy elbow right in Kon’s stomach. While Kon tried not to be jabbed again, Danny curled up until he was tucked around Kon with his head on Kon’s chest. Kon just gave in to Danny’s efforts and flopped backwards onto his bed with a beat red blush.

After a very long debate with himself about what was appropriate, Kon gave in to wrapping an arm around Danny and pulling the blanket tight again. He was just helping Danny stay warm, that was all.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Happy Friday RTA!

I have some thoughts on the whole “Why is William not travelling more” thing. Mind you, I do sometimes feels it is very tinhatty, but it is what I think.

See, I believe the root of all our issues is Charles. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am neither here nor there with him. Meaning I have no issue with him to the point of blaming him for everything under the sun or defending him even when he is in the wrong. Charles has spent so much time, like a looooot of time, being the PoW, living under his mother’s shadow, his mother The Queen, one of the most recognizable and relevant figures in the political and social world of the last 50 years (giving myself some creative liberties here). Charles was still a Prince when all the other heirs his age were becoming Kings and Queens. Then, the children of those peers of him were taking over, and he was now bowing to people he never had to bow to. Charles is a man of arrogance, and anyone can tell that. Probably a unique combination of aristocratic and Royal arrogance, could be that. He had his place on the spotlight for a very long time… until Diana. Then, everything was about her. His achievements were put second to her just showing up. He was just PoW, Elizabeth’s son, Diana’s husband. And then, William’s father. William the loved and adored one. Sure, C has his fans and follower and what not, but he isn´t William, just as he isn’t Elizabeth II.

Now, he is King. The King. He is the most important one everywhere. Unless William or Catherine are there. Because he goes to Commonwealth day, and Catherine gets the covers. Because he gets a royal wedding for his wife, and everyone is looking at the now Wales. He gets cancer, and people are worried about Catherine.

All the things he wanted to do, the tours, the state visits, being received as The King by those he had to bow to before, are on pause. Because his time is even shorter than he thought, because he is mortal and old and still living under someone else’s shadow: the new Prince and Princess of wales (another Princess of Wales stealing his spotlight).

Williams does and the press covers it. The same with Catherine. The kids show up and people go feral. His Queen does not get the same recognition as Catherine, not even close.

Do I believe W&C put the kids first and that is why we don’t see them as often? Sure. Do I think KP says something and BP/CH twist it and make it not happen/wrong/you chose? Yes. Williamscould do better? Yes. Will he? Sure, when he is King. Not now, not when Charles’ ego is hanging by a thread, his place in history being a fickle of what he wanted. He was a great PoW, hardworking, trendsetter, people oriented. That is his legacy, one his son is respecting but will never do just like C did, because W is not C. Charles the King? Charles III is temporary, short term. Elizabeth was diamond. William will be gold, maybe. George is a whole new future we can’t even begin to imagine. Charles is a passing monarch, warming up the seat for the next one. It took too long for him to get his crown, and he will not enjoy it too long.

He knows this, so he will act accordingly. King Charles III comes first no matter what.

This does not mean William is off the hook: he needs to sit down, strategize a lot more and do even more than what he does now. Talk less, do more.

Rant done, back to work.

P/S: when the BRF realizes they need to hire you to run them (yes, tell them what to do) please let me know. I’ll carry your purse around and get you coffee.

Have a great weekend!

Thanks for sharing!

You may be on to something. At the end of the day, everything must go through BP so if BP doesn't want KP to do something, well, then KP's hands are often tied. I do think the way William...not retaliates but maybe...defends himself? (I'm really at a loss for words here) is by refusing to do certain things that BP wants.

Like we know the Foreign Office wants William and Kate to travel more because they're the ones who bring the most favorable press coverage and they do their jobs uncontroversially, but William and Kate don't travel (or they aren't traveling), and I don't think it's because BP is blocking all the shots. I think it's because BP is blocking enough shots that when the opportunity does arise, KP isn't interested; too little too late.

But you are right, William (and Kate) do need to be thinking about strategy, if they aren't already, for the monarchy's future. They, more than Charles, are in a position where they'll be able to set the terms for what a 21st century monarchy looks like, very much the same way that George V and Queen Mary set the standard for a 20th century monarchy. (Right? They were the ones who turned the BRF to philanthropy and charity work?)

[gvshing]

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─PRETTY GIRL DEALING─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

(warning for weed usage and dealing!!) masterlist pt 1. pt 3.

⊹₊⋆CHAPTER TWO⊹₊⋆

Ellie knocks on your dorm door, as softly as you had earlier that day. You open it and usher her inside. Ellie nervously stands off to the side while you lock your door back and you turn around to look at her. Ellie stutters out a “You… uh… you look nice.” when she sees you in the simple loose pajama shorts and blue tee a size too big for you. You giggle at her stutters. “Thanks Ellie. And thanks for coming over! I figured I had to thank you somehow, so why not smoke together the weed you sold me at the cheapest price ever?” you say, trying to sound chill about it. She nods, though if you weren’t looking at her so intensely, you might not have noticed. You motion towards the bed before flopping on it aggressively. “So…” She says, anxiety slowly bubbling inside her higher and higher now that she’s actually here in front of you once more. She sits next to you as casually as she can muster, trying not to look too stiff or awkward. “So…” you mimic her tone and smile at her. “You know, I’ve been friends with Dina for a semester and like a half now. Isn’t it weird we’ve never met?” You say realizing Dina had been keeping her a secret from you this whole time. “Oh yeah.. That’s kinda weird. I don’t really go anywhere but classes though to be fair. I’m not a party person. Too anxious. And I really only sell out of my dorm, it’s rare that I go somewhere else to deal. All my clients are here on campus. Dina was saying she was wanting us to be friends, but she had never mentioned you before today. No offense I’m sure, she just doesn’t talk a lot about other friends… Which now that I’m thinking about it is weird. She talks about everything.. Hm.. ” Ellie rants on accident. Maybe this was a bad idea, there’s no way she’s going to be able to hold it together for this entire interaction. She’s certainly going to make a fool of herself in some way. That seems to be what she’s good at. And it seems that was already happening. “No! Me neither to be honest! The only parties I’ve gone to were because my dealer was there or I went with a friend and then was promptly ditched by said friend.” You say trying to make her feel less like an introvert, even though she was in good company if that’s what she was worried about. “And yeah.. Dina doesn’t talk much about her other friends I’m noticing as well. She kept you a secret from me for so long. That’s messed up Dina.” you joke. Ellie laughs along with you. Eventually she starts feeling less anxious the longer you two sit and talk.

You and Ellie fell into a natural rhythm after a while. Before you knew it, it was almost two in the morning. “Oh, shit. It’s late. I’m sorry. I totally lost track of time.” You blurt out when you see the time flash across your phone screen. “I have a morning class, and you probably do as well. God, I knew it was late and I just couldn’t wait to hang out, and now you’re going to be dead tired in the morning and it’s going to be my fault.” talking so fast, Ellie stares at your freaking form. ‘How are they both way less anxious than me and also way more anxious than me?’ flashes through Ellie’s head before she laughs and puts a hand on your leg to get you to calm down a bit. “It’s okay! I do have a class but, I’m always surviving off like 5 hours of sleep a night so it’s chill. I promise. I’ll head out though, so you can get some sleep. Thanks for having me over, this was fun.” Ellie stands up and heads towards the door, gathering her random belongings she had placed on the floor next to the door. “Ugh, I wish we could hang out longer. Text me when you get back so I know you got back safe, Okay?” You tell her and wrap her in the second hug of the night from you. “Of course. I’ll see you.” Ellie pulls back and gives you a smile, this time placing a kiss on your cheek. You break out in a blush and watch as she walks out of your room. You lock the door behind her and promptly run to your bed and pounce on it. You squeal into your pillow and flip around to be on your back so you can stare at the ceiling. You take deep breaths and calm your fast beating heart. She might kill you via heart attack if you’re not careful. It’s nice to find someone attractive again. To have a crush on someone, it’s almost a foreign feeling. The feeling of butterflies and clammy hands that don’t stem from anxiety that’s eating away at you. You wait patiently for the buzz of your phone signalling that she had texted you that she was safe and sound. You send your quick reply and flip around to try to drift into sleep. It took you a bit longer than usual to fall asleep, you felt like a child on christmas eve. That happy anxiety keeps you from falling faster into that safe void of dreamland you had always found refuge in. It’s good though, you have to remind yourself. You’ll have to thank Dina later for bringing you this new adventure and placing it so softly into your hands. And also punch her in the arm for keeping it from you for as long as she had.

Ellie reaches her dorm door and instantly sends you her text of reassuring that she’s safe. She walks in, kicks her shoes off, and lays on her bed. Instantly falling deep in thought. She needs to be careful. Yes, you guys get along. Yes, you’re cute. Yes, you’re nice. And you don’t seem like the type to take advantage, but she can’t be too careful. She’s been fucked over before. She’s a drug dealer. She can’t forget that. She can’t get too close, too fast. Otherwise there’s a chance of heartbreak there. A chance of Joel telling her once again that she needs to think things through better. She should call Joel. She’s been putting it off, sending him the occasional ‘I love you’ and ‘Yes i'm okay and no i haven't been kidnapped’ texts. She’ll do that soon. She drifts into an anxious sleep, thinking about all the what if’s in her head.

The next morning you get ready with a slight pep in your step. Ellie gets ready with her usual groggy and foot dragging pace. When the hours of lectures are over, you both find yourselves in your respective dorms. You start the schoolwork you’ve been putting off and quickly kill 3 hours. Ellie, on the other hand, waits for Dina to arrive for their hang out session. She distracts herself by pulling up minecraft on her laptop. She mindlessly destroys blocks and places them down for about 45 minutes. Looking at the clock every 10 minutes, she feels her anxiety getting worse the closer to the time of Dina’s arrival. She shouldn’t be nervous to hang out with her friend whom she’s known for years. But, she is. Ellie’s jumpscared when she looks over from her minecraft to see Dina standing directly next to her desk. “Shit! Dina, you scared me, what the fuck? What happened to the knocking?” Ellie has her chest in her hands, grasping at her heart. Dina laughs at Ellie and falls back on Ellie’s bed. “You’re fine! It’s just me. You knew what time I was coming!  Your door was unlocked and it’s not like you were doing anything scandalous, anyway.” Dina retorts. Ellie rolls her eyes at Dina and moves her chair to sit next to the bed. “Yeah, but I could’ve been! You don’t know what I do when you’re not around!” Dina copies Ellie’s eye roll and sits up on her elbows. “Ellie. Be for real. You don’t have any bitches and I know you just watch people play games on youtube, play the game yourself, play guitar, deal weed and SOMETIMES you’ll watch some weird 80’s sci fi movie that makes me gag from how bad it is. I know what you’re about, I’m your best friend.” Dina smiles wide at her, baring all her teeth. Ellie scoffs and kicks her feet up to rest on the bed. “Okay, fine, you’ve got me there. But, I’m starting to think I’m not your best friend… Keeping your friends away from me.. God woe is me, Dina.” Dina laughs and throws a pillow at Ellie that she catches in her hands and tosses aside.

“You’re dramatic, Els. I just never think of it. Besides, you know Jesse and that’s enough isn’t it?” “No! He doesn’t count! You guys are a package deal! You know what I’m talking about, Dina.” Ellie raises her eyebrows dramatically at Dina. “God, Ellie. Look, I didn’t think that you guys wouldn’t like each other. I just figured that neither of you would care that bad, you’re both introverts. My bad for not setting you up.” Dina, now sitting up, crosses her arms in defense. Ellie sighs. “Y/N is nice, that’s all. I’m just fucking with you, Dina. I promise.” Dina uncrosses her arms and grins at Ellie. “Alright, if you say so. I should’ve told you I was sending them your way before you were even texted. That’s my bad. But, yeah, they’re nice. I’m glad you think so.” Ellie moves to sit on the bed across from Dina. “Yeah.. I feel that you guys would click nicely. Both anxious as hell. You both smoke. You both are obnoxious about your gaming youtubers.” Ellie shoves Dina. “Shut up! I am not obnoxious about them! I watch them often, that's it! You’re the dramatic one, Dina.” “Whatever! You two are like, perfect for eachother.” Ellies sighs for the thousandth time, “Dina, I appreciate you playing matchmaker, I do. But, I’m not looking for a relationship. I’ve gotten fucked over because of my title as a dealer. I’m not trying to have that happen again. That shit sucked.” Dina rolls her eyes and puts her hand out for Ellie to hold. Ellie grabs it hesitantly and tilts her head to the side, anxious to hear what Dina had to say. “Ellie, I get it. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to. Especially at the expense of Y/N. They’re nice. And I don’t want them getting fucked over just as much as I don’t want you getting fucked over. I trust them. Trust me by trusting them. Take it slow. I see the giddiness inside you, Ellie!” Dina exclaims on the brink of annoyance at Ellie’s distrust. Ellie smiles and looks at her lap, shaking her head. “Okay, Dina. I’ll trust you by trusting her. But, I’m not going to throw myself into it.” Dina nods in acceptance. “That’s all I ask! Fuck that other bitch who fucked you over! You’re a bad bitch and you deserve equally as bad as a bitch!” Ellie and Dina laugh together and spend the rest of the night in lighthearted conversation.

You on the other hand spent your night cuddled in bed after you finished all your schoolwork, minus a few odds and ends you need to finish for random projects or essays. You had texted Ellie asking how her day had gone but hadn’t quite gotten a text back. The anxiety rested in your chest from not getting a reply but you kept reminding yourself you just met the day before. You guys didn’t even really know each other that well. Deciding it shouldn’t be this big of a deal to you is how you find yourself in your current position. Youtube blaring on the T.V. in front of you. When you do finally receive a text back from Ellie, it’s just a simple ‘Hey sorry I’m just now seeing this! I was hanging out with Dina! My day was good! How was yours?’ By this time it was about 11 pm and you were feeling way too tired to hold a conversation from your previous night of little sleep. You end up just sending back ‘No worries! I hope hanging out with Dina was good! I miss her lol. Feel like I haven’t seen her in weeks even though it was like 3 days ago. My day was good! I hope you have a good sleep!’ You stand up and start to get ready for bed. You wash your face, fill your bedside cup with water and turn off your lights besides the set of fairy lights you have strung around your bed. You opt to not check your phone before plugging it in. If you see a text back from Ellie you’ll feel the need to reply, and you need to sleep. If there's not a text back from her, you’ll feel the sadness in your chest you’ve been trying to avoid. Nestling into bed, you drift off to sleep faster than the night before. Thoughts of school and Ellie in your mind. Hoping you’re not coming off too strong. Hoping you can be normal. Hoping, hoping, hoping.

Laying in bed, Ellie rehashes her day. She trusts Dina’s word about you. But, she just can’t seem to trust herself. Ellie feels that familiar feeling of unease pass over her and she turns over on her side a bit viciously, closing her eyes she refuses to think about it any longer. She’ll deal with it in the morning. She falls asleep, glow in the dark stars plastered over her head, and she dreams of nothing.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ── ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ── ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

Tumblr makes it so hard to post on here sometimes. throwing up pissing and shitting currently. anywayyyy

[nynyhaha]

Spider Themes: Partial empathy and the effects of utilitarianism

A huge Spider centric philosophy rant where I’ll digress many times(sorry)

The Phantom troupe is an embodiment of the Robinhood troupe as much as it is a deconstruction and subversion of it. https://www.tumblr.com/nynyhaha/761225991501873152/phantom-troupe-failed-robinhoods

They don’t do what they do for fame or money,but when it comes to using horrible means for noble ends,they also fail. After years of pondering the Spider’s purpose,I’ve found that seeing them as a warped version of heroes makes the most sense. Ex-child soldiers,running rampant after they’ve outlived the anticipated period of self appointed service.

After Sarasa’s death Chrollo clearly states that he sees no possibility for achieving his goals peacefully, in his eyes they never had a chance to accomplish anything while staying the good guys.

Of course he couldn’t succeed if he didn’t even try! But why didn’t he,and why is there so little stopping a person as caring,responsible and community-minded as him from turning around and betraying humanity at large,detaching himself from all the good he could’ve caused?

I love that Togashi let the not yet Spiders as well as us,the audience,see this typical hero cartoon for children where the good always wins because of the magical purity of their hearts. Where if they just believe hard enough,it will be fine.

In reality..all Chrollo can do is bring flowers to honour the graves.

It means there was always a separation between fiction and reality for him,despite being eager to watch and dub the power-cleaners story,Chrollo never believed it. Or maybe he did before he found Sarasa,after which all the illusions he might’ve had shattered.

The knows it takes a sacrifice to make great change,not just of his life but of his morals.

Chrollo shows an unusual level of self awareness for a child. In the following panel he announces he’s going to become a villain. Not a rebel with a cause,or a noble avenger,a VILLAIN. His view is so pessimistic,that it must take a villain to defeat villains. There’s no way to keep his “pure heart” and all this talk about ✨faith✨ was bullshit. To me this is a very interesting summery of Chrollo’s view of his role. It’s how he assesses it before he actually does anything,which makes it all the more fascinating since we don’t know how much his outlook changed once he actually started his plans. Or do we?

Why utilitarianism? Isn’t the regret he shows here in advance indicative of deontology?

If I was tasked with defending the Spiders and presenting them in a more favourable light,I’d pull up with the combo of

-“us vs them” -> they were defending their very marginalised community that the world turned its back on,against such horrible organisations as the mafia. Their initial mission is self defense. One might also look at it the way aot fans do,where being mistreated by outsiders justifies crimes against them.

-utilitarian principles-> even if innocent people were hurt in the process,it’s worth it in the end because a greater number of innocents are saved.

Chrollo however,simply says he’s going to kill a lot of people,not specifying if

-he will kill more people than he’ll save

-he will kill more innocent people than he’ll save

-he will only kill bad people

-he will kill outsiders for the sake of meteorians

But I assume he’s going to kill those whose lives he still values,why else would he feel bad about it? In that moment we see a person who is torn between two extremes,and chooses one whole acknowledging the other.

Chrollo in that instance does NOT believe that killing evil outsiders is a righteous quest he’ll embark on,neither does he believe that killing many,even for the sake of saving many,is justified. He still decides to do it,just not as a hero,but as a villain.

Sarasa wouldn’t want it because she didn’t live long enough to experience loss and hate,altho she did experience extreme pain so who’s really to say she wouldn’t have wanted revenge? Either way,it seems Chrollo isn’t just talking about going against Sarasa’s principles,he’s talking about abandoning his own,that the two of them shared until she died together with his naivety and innocence.

The last three speech bubbles are the most puzzling for me. Unless by “repenting” he means being held accountable and paying for their crimes,this opens up crazy ideas about those kinds of people actually feeling bad about their crimes.And the notion that legal systems are powerful enough to cause such changes in a person.

This raises the question whether Chrollo will ever repent for his crimes.The answer is yes,he did already…Before he even committed anything.💀💀

Since this post is a HxH analysis mixed with philosophy,let’s look at honouring vs promoting values.

Honouring the value of human life would mean never ever taking it(Sarasa’s alleged view)

Promoting its value in this case would mean fighting for the recognition of meteorian lives by the world and stopping the mafia from killing more kids,even if for that you’d need to kill (Chrollo’s path)

In short,kid Chrollo holds values he’s willing to break and about to abandon.

The Spider ends up operating on the two principles mentioned above,valuing the whole over individuals and acting in favour of Meteor City at the cost of outsiders.

When I say “utilitarianism” I don’t mean maximising good or happiness,but acting in favour of the goal/organisation above all else

Inheriting values:One for all and all for one

The Elder here promotes the value of life of his people,he’s willing to sacrifice 31 of them to do so. Mathematically this seems stupid at first:killing 30 more people than the one originally harmed? Couldn’t more lives be saved by inaction? Couldn’t Chrollo keep his friends rather than losing four more over the death of one?

But,consider how this incident paints Meteor City,how actually standing up for themselves in such a brutal way does a great deal of inflicting fear on the world,likely preventing it from wronging Meteor City again. 31 people may die for the message,but spreading the message will help the sum of people living in Ryuseigai. Well,it’s supposed to help,and for the sake of argument let’s say it does.

Similarly 13 people giving up their lives can help the community as a whole. Will I ever shut up about the Spiders breaking the mafia deal? No.Because by doing so,they accept the responsibility of protecting their home from any threats AND getting the necessary money(haha,it can never be enough)

If just 13 people will commit enough crime to gather whatever the mafia was previously paying the city,there won’t be any need for human trafficking AND they’ll commit the crimes on their own terms! ✨Independence✨ through 🕸Spider Scapegoats🐐

Basically,the Phantom Troupe can be the sole solution to many problems,even if they’ll never solve the core of them. That,and the immense pressure that lies on them,might lead to nihilism and loss of any motivation which drove them to start what they do in the first place.

The loss of empathy

Chrollo’s definiting character trait is his relationship with humanity and his connection/disconnection from it. He’s speaking as if he’s not human himself,and in the fight vs Hisoka he displays just how deep he’s sunk on his journey.

He uses bodies as instruments(for utility),specifically the bodies of the audience(people who might not be “innocent”but have very little to do with him). He couldn’t care less about them. The Elder used the bodies of his own comarades,but how much did he care about them if he was capable of such a thing?

The Elders remain enigmatic but my impression of them is that of a powerful but inefficient council of people whose task is so enormous it numbed them to minor things such as necessary deaths. Much like the Spiders,the Elders have to use horrible means for an end too big to achieve. They don’t even have an end,they just run the worlds biggest orphanage and homeless shelter,a “safe” oasis for anyone abandoned and wronged by the world. They’re supposed to be fixing whatever injustice there is,they’re peak philanthropists and altruists,so much so that they’re willing to kill and arguably sell out (traffic) a number of residents for the sake of the whole of them.

It’s a matter of scale for them. Or maybe not even,it might not be about efficiency anymore.

They’re not unlike normal politicians,arguing about semantics instead of taking action. At least in that way the Spiders are better,and since “nothing has changed” the chapter illustrates exactly why the Spider is needed,the Elders have apparently always held this outlook.

Yes,because they actually go deal with the problem and figure out if the transformed residents can turn back. When they can’t,we see them expressing sadness about it

We even got Fei looking sad. Sad.FEITAN.Am I hallucinating?

Once Phinks figures out a way around feeling too bad about killing their fellow citizens,the other Spiders also regain their confidence,now knowing what to do. I’m grateful for the manga because the anime wasn’t as expressive with their expressions,lol.

We clearly see them concerned for people outside the troupe,and while Phinks hates feeling pity because he sees it as dishonourable for the ones turned,it’s obvious that that’s what he experiences.

Speaking of Chrollo..Wasn’t Phinks the one arguing against going to save him?

Self dehumanising/Cog in the machine

While the strong bons between members humanise them to no end and create the cognitive dissonance (how can this silly friend group commit such atrocities?) they actually show quite well just how much they have to put on line to live as they do.

If the Spiders didn’t care as much for each other we wouldn’t care as much for them either,and we wouldn’t see what the Spider-set up takes from them.

Firstly we have Shal causally determining someone’s worth by their ability ✨😀

Next we have Shizuku calmly speaking of her death as if she’s talking about the weather

This moment especially shows how much Chrollo’s cold,tactical approach can hurt,cause I was pretty annoyed at him at that moment. He’s only being reasonable tho,wanting to avoid more deaths while Nobunaga is being emotional. Still,his friend just died and while not letting that death influence them to the point of losing more people makes sense,the way Chrollo phrases it “you were willing to die,so Uvo was ok dying but those other members are crucial so they need to live” is very cynical. We know Chrollo is far from accepting Uvo’s death and his way of coping through the requiem can only do so much,however when he needs to,he shuts his emotions off completely.

Judging each other’s worth based on ability and how strategically useful they are to the Spider runs contrary to the notion of friendship,it forces them to see themselves and each other as instruments,as mere cogs in the machine. While some Spiders hold those principles more strongly,the whole organisation operates this way.

Chrollo designed it that way,since they all went into it ready to give up their lives,he made the organisation a priority but not the individual. Still,when the time finally comes to out his ideas to the test,only several members stay true to his principles.

This is the same Phinks who acted like a girly girl with a crush,worrying about Chrollo,unable to wait. Ok,maybe losing Pakunoda and seeing Chrollo through her eyes changed him,but I don’t think that’s likely. Phinks cares about Chrollo but he cares about the Spider more.

Feitan will also break rules of negotiation and risk Chrollo’s life to find out more information. He seems to see no obligation whatsoever to play fair and obey the enemy’s rules,I also don’t believe he has a concept of 🕸honour among thieves🕸but he did max out on loyalty.

While Phinks’ and Feitan’s actions seem to just stir up trouble,once we understand their pov it all makes sense.

If you put the Spider first,why would you NOT go above and beyond to ensure you have all knowledge you could possibly get and secure the most advantageous position? He’s not doing that because he’s a sneaky little shit but because he’s operating on the principle of maximising the Spider’s strategic advantage!(im such a good advocate for my boys)

We also can’t forget that the well-being of the Spider as a whole overlaps with the well-being of the majority of its legs,which means choosing the spider in practice is synonymous with playing it safe and protecting the remaining members

As harsh and damaging their approach may be,in some way it’s inevitable. There was no right choice in this dilema,and there was also very little certainty so it was a matter of trust.

-Kurapika might play dirty and actually control Pakunoda as far as they know

-Its Chrollo’s death vs a guaranteed but unspecified number of Spider deaths

-preventing further deaths is good both for the whole and the individual members

Also Chrollo being “worthless as a hostage” might just mean he’s on a democratic standing with the rest and isn’t more important than them. He likely made this rule to prevent others dying for him just because he’s Danchou (and failed)

Conclusion: An organisation such as the troupe HAS to operate on utilitarianism if it

-serves an important purpose (guard dog of Meteor City)

-is valuable by itself and most concerned with persisting

No matter how you look at it, whether the Troupe selflessly performs acts of necessary evil for their people,or if it’s a cult/collective entity that exists without any clear reason,it’s survival is more important than the survival of its individual members. Which is a shame,because it poisons the very bonds that were formed while they fought for their cause side by side.

[nintendo-killed-atari]

Plaything Review, (Spoilers and a long ass post)

Hello hello, insane person here

I’m gonna be honest I’m not surprised about how this Bandersnatch sequel came out, in all honesty it’s not a sequel at all it just “BANDERNSATCH BUT AGAIN.” and a thing or two changed. But if I were to rate it based on it being a sequel I’d put it at like a 2/5, with it being its own episode a 4.5/5 but that’s only due to how much I’ve hyper fixated on this piece of media since forever.

Cameron’s character is, as expected, basically just Stefan but they like turned it up to 10. He’s wearing headphones that are playing his what I’d assume is code, stutters a lot, bro just wants to draw (obviously to show is little goobers to the world but y’know), he got the gamer flavor of autism, and the guy CANNOT keep eye contact.

This also goes along to say that the story hits a bunch of the same story beats in Bandersnatch aswell, the same parental issues as Stefan, ashtray kill, goes to jail, chops up a body in a bath tub, goth clerk, Colin makes a video game reference for no reason, etc. which is fine I guess???? But I feel it ruins the story a bit, like don’t get me wrong I don’t exactly hate the references, I just wish they actually took it a little more seriously.

Lump is Peter in this scenario. He’s one of the main driving forces that moves the story forwards, and is also Cameron’s only friend apparently??? But also I just find it funny how out of giving him an actual name they called him fucking LUMP, like LUMP??? Really??? Alright… Anyways, they make a knockoff LSD scene with him and Cameron as they play Street Fighter, which could be a reference to Striking Vipers if you want it to be lmao. But it the same lighting and all that. But also I kinda feel bad for Lump a little bit because he was just like “Wow video game, let me play a little bit.” But also Cameron clearly covered it up and Lump shouldn’t have messed with it. Then he gets ashtrayed which, yeah…

Thakur’s wig got fucking bandersnatched and he’s fucking bald now with a swag ass ponytail, which, fire. Still has a bit of comedic relief but is a bit out of character. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still great he’s just getting fucking bullied. Although I definitely like how he’s very supportive of Colin and clearly cares about him, even if it’s just from a business standpoint, he’s made sure his mental insanity doesn’t exactly go on the news despite everything even if Colin’s denied him from the looks of it.

Colin Ritman. THE Colin Ritman. The whole reason why I screamed during the middle of math class. Get fucking 3 minutes of screen time. Which… ok??? Colin’s whole point as a character is to just kick start it and then fuck off. Which is fine… BUT WILL POLUTER ISN’T FUCKING STARRING, MR.BROOKER WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?!?! Anyways, Colin isn’t too bad of a character but definitely feels downgraded from Bandersnatch. I like how much info we can get from Colin on his desk and walls and whatnot, but maybe I’ll talk about that in another post… The things I’m mainly pissed about is the fucking cliffhanger we were left on, like what do you mean he went fucking gaga? Why did he have his breakdown? I would like to know more about that please.

Colin as a character in both Bandersnatch and Plaything feels so vague, which is good and bad, but it just feels like we don’t know anything about him or something we can based him off of. I get that’s why some people like him, but it feels like the writers don’t exactly know what to do with him except use him move the plot forward. I love Colin, I know a lot of people do but his mentalist mindset isn’t exactly developed fully and it pisses me off, like why’d you reference Sonic? Pac-Man made sense but god. I do see the difference in him being more mean in Plaything whether it was his breakdown or not, and his light plot points but it’s still all so vague.

Sorry I ranted a bit…

Anyways, I genuinely enjoyed this season as a whole, it’s really bringing itself back on its feet, and although Plaything might just be an outlier for Netflix to prompt there games and crap, it’s kinda of what Bandersnatch was as well. Overall it’s a fun watch, even if the ending is vague as hell, it like alright.

Ight gonna go grind on Thronglets byeeeeeeee

[solarflaresdaddyissues]

”Goodbye. My Acolyte…”

I kid you not, SAMS fans, Creator is was in a romantic relationship with Acolyte and no one can change my mind.

I may be getting too invested into this because Acolyte is my favorite character and I’m coping with his death, but this had been a running joke for a long time with me and now I don’t think it’s a joke.

Going way back to episodes I’m not going to bother researching the names for just for a simple post I’ll forget about, Acolyte and Creator have always has a relationship similar to that of either toxic exes or an old married couple. Sure, they clearly don’t like each other, right? WRONG!

In the episode where Taurus confronted Creator, after Taurus was already gone and Acolyte was listening to Creator go on his long rant, we get that one scene. (Yes, I don’t have the video pulled up and I don’t know the exact quote, sue me) “I will rule this godforsaken planet, and you shall rule alongside me!” Oh? Will be now? What happened to you treating him like a servant? Now you want him to be what, the queen to you as the king? Cause if he’s ruling alongside you, I doubt he’s a servant anymore.

Next, in the Creator’s death episode, Solar had his whole monologue about how no one would miss him but maybe Earth. Then he leaves and Acolyte comes in. He spots Creator and he’s upset. His breathing’s shaky, he’s kneeling down at his body brain, he’s clearly very shaken about Creator’s death.

HE TRIED TO CALL HIM SVEN! We hear Acolyte say Creator multiple times, trying to rouse him in a vain hope that he’s still alive. Then he makes to say Sven and cuts himself off. He knows the Creator wouldn’t want to be remembered as Sven Isnolov. He’s Creator, through and through. So he stops. He knows it won’t wake him. He’s gone.

And then we get the recorded message. Made just for the man kneeling over his “body” at that moment. “Continue our plans.” “I can’t do this without you…” “You’re probably saying something like, ‘I can’t do this without you. You sentimental fool.” So you knew exactly what he was going to say? In a prerecorded message? My my, Creator, I think you’re a bit attached, if you know him that well.

And then Acolyte goes and messes with forces he absolutely should not have just to bring him back. (Side note: Despite how much I hate Creator, I am willing to have him live. Because that’s what Acolyte wanted. It may as well have been his last wish. Let him have this.) So he goes to Rez, right. And he asks him to revive him. He knows what the Creator wanted and he knows that Creator is useful to Rez. Win-Win. For them, anyways. Creator is brought back. Yippie, I guess.

Creator immediately figures out what’s going on and is, deservedly, disappointed with Acolyte. He didn’t want this to happen. Human emotions get in the way. But he’s back. Beat Eclipse’s respawn speed run. And he works for Rez. Great.

Now, Rez, I am now hating. Was my third favorite star, now he’s lower than that. Way lower. You can’t go killing my favorite characters like that, buddy.

Then, we get Rez’s command. To prove loyalty, kill Acolyte. Excuse me? Pardon? Now, I don’t think I heard you right??

And Creator APOLOGIZED to Acolyte for it. He knows that this would all be useless if he’s just killed again. And Acolyte might die either way. Creator doesn’t have emotions. But he felt sorry for killing Acolyte. And his speech?! He was trying to protect Acolyte by telling him to continue? He knew that something like this would happen and he would have to kill him. He didn’t want to kill him. That’s astounding.

“Goodbye. My Acolyte.” My Acolyte? MY Acolyte? I know acolyte as a title means “Attendant”, he’s calling him his servant. But that’s what he was called. Besides Felix. Which, lovely name, by the way. Never really thought much about it until now. He was called Acolyte. That was his title. And the Creator called him his before he killed him. That’s so sweet. And incredibly gay, man, what in Polaris’s galaxy made you get sentimental! I ain’t judging, I’m loving this.

I can’t talk about this enough. These two are my life right home. I love this.

(Also, petition to make their ship name BrainRot? Because Creator is a brain and Acolyte was Trashcan Man at one point. Best glowup, honestly)

[imagionationstation]

*Rant Incoming*

Warning: Tired & Emotional Author did not check for emotional errors. This is not the usual “facts & research” essay. It may feel attackish. It may feel like a targeting accusation. I guess, in a way, it is. I apologize. But I need to speak.

Sometimes I wish I could be that creator.

The kind who can say mean, hateful things about RISE and walk away. The kind that can go in depth to explain how truly bad Splinter is and how furious Leon makes me and how the way the Foot are portrayed feels like a betrayal to the Foot’s history and everything else cringy or mortifying about that series.

But I can’t. Because that’s not fair.

Because if I spent every single day hating on Rise when I remember something that upsets me, everyone would be rightly upset.

There are people out there who adore this show and I’m just sitting here going through every reason why their favorite thing is stupid.

That doesn’t seem like a nice thing to do by any means.

Just because I have an opinion doesn’t mean I have to share it.

Just because I dislike a character design or certain aspects doesn’t make the show as a whole an inherently awful show. Heck, (as an example, not a truth) just because I dislike every single thing about a show doesn’t make the show itself inherently awful!

I think we should be able to agree on that for any tmnt iteration.

So why is it that 2012 happens to be the favorite outliner?

Why is it that I can’t go a week without someone reminding me how inherently awful and disgusting and terrible it is? Why is it that I’m biased and nostalgic and that’s the only reason that I could like the show, and one day, I’ll have to take a step back and realize how awful it is? How abusive and cringe and stupid it is?

Some days I get online after long, stressful days to indulge and relax and maybe even write- and then someone comes up to tell me how dumb or horrid my love for the show is. And I don’t even want to do any of that anymore because a part of my brain is looking at the screen and wondering, “Maybe they’re right.”

And then I’m miserable because I know that’s not fair.

Why do you get to stand in the way of what I love? Why can’t you talk about the series that you love and adore, and just ignore 2012? What joy do you get out of tearing down the one thing that keeps me sane?

It isn’t like people are sitting down to explain anything. To acknowledge character development or changes or to explain the inherently abusive things the ninja family does and take into account their heritage and bond and then reason why it’s still bad.

It’s always the same things.

“The brothers are so horrible and abusive-”

Great, so don’t watch the show.

“The love triangle is so cringe and Donnie is a creepy stalker-”

Great, so don’t watch the show.

“Splinter is literally The Worst example of Splinters in any iteration-”

Great, so don’t watch the show.

“Leo is so boring and stiff Ugh I can’t believe season three exists-”

Great, so don’t watch the-

“Raph is so mean and cruel and he always takes it out on Mikey-”

Great, so don’t watch-

“Mikey is a poor baby who has never done anything wrong and just likes playing around and doesn’t deserve anything that his family ever throws his way and it’s like they aren’t family at all-”

Great, so-

“That isn’t how REAL brothers would act.”

Great.

Just. Great.

Thanks for sharing.

[shy-canadian-snowflake]

Not Sober.

“What is that smell?” Al asked, walking into the living room. She made her way to her chair- the only safe place to sit in the whole apartment. The men knew it was off limits for any and all bodily fluids, their pimply asses were not allowed to touch her fucking chair. 

“Oh sorry Al.” Wade said from the couch. There was a warble to his voice that instantly concerned her. She sat down and turned to face the other. The smell hit her next.

“Oh for fuck sakes.” There was a weak laugh from Wade at that. She shook her head disapprovingly. “You know what the doctor said.”

“That noes doesn’t miss anything, does it all.” There was a sound of someone sucking hard on something. A second later the smell of something with a fake fruity smell hit the air. 

“Wade.” She sighed before shaking out her head. “Did you at least get a good one this time?”

“Uhh dunno. Found it in the back of a drawer.” He spoke slowly, and she held her hand out.

“Motherfucker. This probably isn't even yours.” It hit her hand a second later, she brought it to her mouth and took a long breath in. She held it for a moment before puffing it out. “You are in luck, you little shit. I’d never buy something weak.”

“It’s not that weak when you’ve smoked half of it already.”

“Yeah you are right. Want to tell me why?” There was another inhale as Wade took another puff. 

“Because fuck it. Fuck every fucking damn thing. Just fuck it.” She shifted in her seat, getting more comfy for the rant she knew was going to come sooner or later. 

“What are we fucking and why?” She put her feet up and patted her lap. A second four legs were on her. She pet Mary as she wanted for Wade to wind up. 

The bottles on the side table rattled as Wade stood up quickly. “Fuck my doctor. Fuck my brain. Fuck every fucking thing.” 

“Had a bad day?” She asked as he started pacing back and forth. Wade inhaled again on the stick.

“No! That’s what makes it worse. I’ve had a good week, the best fucking week I’ve had in months. Only one bad day after talking to Dr. No-More-Weed-ingson.” 

“You haven’t smoked in 5 months. So why did you sweetheart?” There was a thump, and from the sounds of it, Wade was on the floor staring up at the ceiling no doubt. 

“I don’t know Al. Maybe because I kept telling myself I could start smoking it again soon? I just had to wait it out.” She hummed “And now it’s a forever no. Apparently it can make everything worse. Don’t they fucking get it that it makes it better?” There was some movement as Wade rolled around on the floor. “Everything is slower. I can be stupid- more stupid- than normal. I can get lost in my brain without all the bad coming. I just have to think of kittens, or Keanu Reeves and everything is light. I don’t have to be back on earth where everything is dark and it sucks ass.”

“Yeah, being sober is hard. Makes everything more real. You are struggling with the unreal Wade. You should keep the upper hand and stay where it’s more real.” There was a loud sigh and a thud as something hit the wall. She guessed the pen,It better have been empty before he tossed it out. 

“You’re right… I should but sometimes I don’t want to. Just for the next few hours, I need to float away. To have some control over my fucking body by not having control. Then I’ll get sober again, I’ll stop smoking weed.” 

“You can do it sweetie. You have a good head on your shoulders, when it is on your shoulders.” She felt a hand squeeze her foot and gave a little jump.

“Thanks Al. You can see so much that I can’t… Though right now I wish you could, cause I think my brain floated away. Do you ever think ‘damn chickens are sick as fuck.’ We have cool ass little dinosaurs, and I can have it in my home. Oh my god Al, Al, chickens are the only dinosaurs we can eat.”

“What about turkey?” 

“Al, holy shit we can eat more than one dinosaur. That just blew my mind.”  “Oh Logan is going to hate this.” “I’m going to hate what?”

--

don't do drugs kids. or do them safely and talk with your doctor.

[justanerd1234]

Ok, so I’m not new to Tumblr but this is only my second time posting so I apologize if I do something wrong, but I need to rant.

I was doing my work in my world history class the other day. My teacher likes to play music, and she had it on some country station. Now, I like country music, that’s not the problem.

However, one song in particular came on, and I’d never heard it before. It’s probably actually a really popular song and I’ve just been living under a rock my whole life, but anyway, the more I listened to it and its lyrics, the more I began to hate it.

The song is “Friends Don’t” by Maddie and Tae. It showcases a lovely chorus that goes:

Friends don't call you in the middle of the night Couldn't even tell you why They just felt like saying hi Friends don't stand around, playing with their keys Finding reasons not to leave Trying to hide their chemistry Drive a little too slow (slow), take the long way home (home) Get a little too close (close) We do, but friends don't

And ok, I get the point of the song. I know it’s just supposed to be a sweet cheesy love song. But it just makes me think of how high romantic relationships are held above platonic ones in our society, and songs like this do nothing but inflate that disparity.

For someone who’s Aroace like me, friendships are all I have. And maybe it’s selfish, but I’m really damn tired of everybody telling me I’ll find someone eventually. I’m tired of people seeing all my friendships as second-rate. As less than. They can’t see that maybe my “someone” is found in all my friends that I get to spend life with. In a society that only really cares about romance and sex, people who aren’t constantly seeking those things are left forgotten. And it hurts. A lot.

I’m scared for what the future holds. I worry about how long it will take for all my friends to eventually leave me. How long will it be until my only source of companionship leaves me for something “better”.

I don’t want to be the second choice. I want somebody I can talk to about everything and do silly stuff with and everything. But society doesn’t care. They still see platonic relationships as less than.

They see me as less than.

Sorry for the rant, I just really needed to get this out.

[thefatesofspring]

If I start off something off with “another thing” or “one thing” just know I’m about to rant on here😂😂😩😩😭😭 & on that note…buckle up because this is a long one.

It absolutely baffles me that Feyre throughout ACOSF shows ZERO initiative or indication on wanting to know as much as she can about her baby/pregnancy, she’s a FIRST TIME MOTHER-TO-BE & this girl shows not a single ounce of “first-time-mom syndrome” Feyre’s lack of care towards her & her baby’s wellbeing whilst pregnant is to me absolutely diabolical & insane.

What I mean by this is at not one point has it ever been established that Feyre showed the initiative to get 2nd & maybe even 3rd opinions from different midwives/healers or even Illyrian mothers & find out information for herself about her son & her own health during pregnancy, I don’t know what wtf SJM was thinking making Feyre completely & utterly dependent on Rhysand relaying information or even Madja for that matter, it completely blows my mind that SJM’s thought process for Feyre throughout this whole ordeal was to make her so vulnerable that she shouldn’t even be aware that her own baby would likely kill her during the delivery.

I can 100% understand that Feyre wants to enjoy the pregnancy & be “in the moment” with the pregnancy experience but what I can’t grapple with is Feyre being so content & uncaring to find out all the information she can about having an Illyrian baby/baby with wings, like she was told directly by Madja that the delivery would be difficult & from that as far as we all know she made NO attempts to get as much info as she can to help herself & her son…as a first time mom…being that nonchalant?!!?!!! Like wtf?!!!

I can’t understand how she can be told the labour will be difficult & not do a damn thing herself to find ways to potentially make it easier such as finding out from others aka Lucien if he knows anything about shifting whilst pregnant, why the hell didnt Rhysand or any of the others think to go to Spring & ask Tamlin if he knows anything about risks of shifting during pregnancy since…you know shifting is HIS thing, they have no problem trespassing in Spring for secret meetings or going their to taunt an already depressed & suicidal Tamlin but when you actually need his help yet again they all suddenly get amnésia including Feyre?!!?!

To me Feyre’s inability to find things out for herself & relied on everyone else to find the information out & hope they relay it back truthfully (which in the end they did not) is not only careless but reckless too & just shows how much she wasn’t ready to be a mother, unless we end up getting a POV or flashback POV of Feyre’s thoughts surrounding her pregnancy then naturally I’ll change my stance on this situation.

Also Madja needs to NEVER & I mean NEVER be allowed to be a practicing healer EVER AGAIN!! That female is absolutely disgusting & diabolical too, she as a female making a choice for Feyre in not telling her she & her baby may die & by extension Rhysand of course, I don’t care if she was forbade by Rhysand what she did was absolutely disgusting, can you imagine how many other females in The Night Court have potentially lost their lives because Madja made a call that wasn’t hers to make on a mother & baby’s wellbeing.

And I will stand 10 toes down behind Nesta telling Feyre the birthing dangers but I don’t agree with how/the way it came out but I also understand why she in that moment she blurted it out to Feyre, it was a lose lose predicament to be in & had Feyre taken the initiative to find out more info on her pregnancy herself maybe she would have known about this already & maybe been prepared.

I really want to believe that Feyre was more involved in her own pregnancy & was showing some semblance of that first-time-mom syndrome but based off of everything we did get with ACOSF everything so far is saying she didn’t, which is just so sad that even at her most vulnerable SJM chose to make Feyre even more vulnerable by purposely having her mate/husband & family keep such a thing from her & not have her act like a mom-to-be

[xmissemmax]

So TIT Copenhagen, I have many thoughts and I decided that I would write them here.

We weren’t due to go to Copenhagen but luckily we were hanging out with @kavat recently who convinced us (didn’t take much) and I’m so glad we went.

Firstly, the weather in CPN was so nice, the sun was shining so much and that always makes me feel nice. @calvinahobbes had organised a phannie meet up (you’re the best) and there were about 16 of us altogether having lunch. This is one of my favourite things about phandom, just the people and meeting up with them. It was really nice and people had made crafty things to hand out and ahhh it was so nice.

The show itself, well I went in spoiler free which was hard but well worth it, I had no idea what to expect.

There are sections to the show, I’ll try and remember them if I can and will put them under this read more section so I don’t have a super long post - I’m likely to waffle soz.

- The opening part. The stage design is really nice. There is a good production (a lot like WAD), good lighting and the music is good. It seemed like they had the same people working with them (Ben and James are definitely back). I really liked the build up to the entrance and it gave me goosebumps. Seeing them both on stage together again was so nice, I missed Phil.

- Who are Dan and Phil. This bit was so funny. My face hurt from laughing. The set designs were amazing and anytime they mention the two flats it makes the part of me that wasn’t fooled by them laugh a lot. They seemed to do a lot of putting the dolls on top of each other in sexual poses on purpose. They know what they’re doing 😂

- the ad-lib section maybe was next. I wasn’t too sure on this section but maybe it needs a bit of time to grow. Dan calling Phil Capita£ester though, incredible. Also the audience shouting “cum” and Phil trying to hide it on the screen was soo funny. This part is definitely only going to get stupid things like “piss” “moist” “penis” shouted out much like all the other tours.

- ice berg part. Bloody Philip lying to us 😂😂 - can you believe in the last a sleepless night with Phil he recorded the video at like 8pm and slept through the night (innocent my ass haha). This bit was kinda fun but if you’re gonna let the audience pick the options at least follow what they shouted out (the vegas option is gonna turn into the cake scene for sure)

- the ghost scare part actually did scare me, but it was funny.

- the end part of the first section about doing what the top YouTubers do to be famous, well before the break I was like helloooo what is going on here but the part after the break SO FUCKING GOOD OMG. Dan came right in front of us, it was wild. The whole part being so choreographed the way it was!! The props, their acting, my face again hurt so badly from laughing / cheering etc. Ahhh I can’t wait to see it again it was sooooo good. Phils chest literally I was dead. I grabbed poor Maikes leg about 100x as it was so funny. Phil calling Dan and Cunt, the announcer saying Phil was squashing Dan with his “massive buttocks” omg it was just sooo good.

- Phil playing subway surfers whilst Dan ranted on about his childhood again, nice I guess but rehashed from WAD (sorry) and I wouldn’t be upset if this got cut.

- Phil does his own section which was nice but he was nervous (imo) and I’m sure this will get better as time goes on. It was so sweet what he was saying and he is a genuinely nice guy.

Phandom confessions. Good bit for audience interaction, Sister Daniel and Father Phil. Loved it, loved the outfits, loved the water gun, some of the confessions were very funny. It reminded me a lot of the past tours with the audience participation so I’m glad they have something in there. Dan looks so good in the nun outfit I’m not sorry.

- the ending. Well all night long I kept saying if they don’t do a song it just wouldn’t be right and let’s say they did not disappoint. It was better than I could have imagined. More choreographed moves (which were done wrong but it makes it all that better), the ukulele, the rave time, the lights, the thumping music fuck me it was incredible.

Things that I think will definitely improve with time, let’s not forget this was just day 2:

- their positions on stage, they seemed to be just walking into each other at times, not really sure where to stand or where to go

- Dan yaps a lot and Phil just does filler “yeahs”, I’m sure this is more of a confidence thing in the beginning. We all know Dan is a natural performer and thrives off it.

I am so ready to see it again, sadly it is not coming to the UK until January so we will just have to be patient but I’m so so so glad we have been already. I can’t wait to see how it evolves over the next few months and I’m sure January will be here before we know it.

Also, the trading cards as merch, fucking amazing idea.

Ps. I had such an amazing time hanging out with everyone as always. So grateful to Deps for bringing the best people into my life ❤️

[rreskk]

GTA slut here, requesting more femdom mommy x Trevor!! Maybe some kind of exhibitionist/public humiliation thing involving the elite T.P.I employees (like Ron, Chef, Wade). No one does it like you do! <3

Summary: Ron called at the wrong times. You were in the middle of punishing Trevor for his overall bratty behaviour.

TW: Smut

Pairings: Dom fem!reader/ Trevor Philips

Word count: 1788

BRAT

"Hey Ron!"

Situated in his trailer for the mellow Tuesday it was, you had answered a phone-call regarding work as Trevor was failing to answer his own calls – reported by Ronald who was on the other side of the line, ranting and raving about the low productions rate in the lab and how Trevor needs to know, as soon as possible.

“I’ll be sure to tell him when he gets back.” You reassured the fellow neurotic, the conversation flowing in a smoothly manner.

While you were busy with the phone-call, the cigarette that you had previously sucked was growing short. The ashes fell and it was dissolving by minute. It soon was not worth the nicotine dependency so you reached over to nightstand beside you. Your hand missed the ashtray and instead grabbed onto this long, silver leash that had rust pinning between the metal crevasse.

A large thump occurred when you tugged onto the cord, the leash attaching itself to the collar of Trevor who was thrown against your feet. He winced and looked up, his mouth covered by a gag, his brown, wet eyes begging mercilessly for you; tear stains already swelling up his reddened cheeks, out of both pleasure and pain. You burnt the cigarette out with his naked shoulder, adding to the many scars you had already left on him from the past ciggies you had smoked. It made the man whinge behind the gag.

You had told Ron that Trevor was out of town for the day while he was actually kneeling at your feet like a pathetic dog wrapped around a leash and collar. He was heard whining in the background as Ronald respectfully grew concerned, asking about the noise.

“What noise?” You grinned, staring at the man in front of you. “I can’t hear anything here. It must be your phone.”

It was quickly dismissed since you sounded so certain despite the reality of it. You listened to Ron talk about current affairs, eyes falling down to Trevor’s stomach, then to his whole nakedness. His cock was standing up with pre-cum spitting the tip. It was shaking viciously. Your treatment had already made him came many times that morning, so he was getting exhausted and aroused, his face drooping and hands falling to the ground, holding himself up on all fours.

“Tell Chef to cook another batch.” You chimed while pressing your heel against the back of Trevor’s neck. His nose was crushed against the floor, his throat spilling out muffled moans and tearful murmurs that you couldn’t hear. “You don’t need Trevor’s permission. If we are out of products, we gotta make more, Ronald.”

Trevor was forced to listen to you control the business for the day as you made every reckless decision he would argue against. But he couldn’t. Not when he was gagged and pressed against the floor by your heel. The collar tightened due to you pulling on the leash and it made it harder to control the overstimulation. He couldn’t help but whine again.

“Give me a second, Ron. Hold on.” You placed the phone aside before grabbing his hair. Trevor moaned when he faced you. Your fingers was threatening to draw blood as he swore your nails were scratching at his scalp.  

“M- Mom… Mgh!” He cried.

“You’re making too much noise, baby.” You whispered gently when his eyes wettened. “I told you to be a good boy then I’ll let you cum again. Didn’t I?”

“Mgh… Uh…” Trevor nodded his head submissively.

The obedience made you grin. Your grip loosened and he fell back onto the floor, shaking. Trevor was unable to cope for himself as you returned the phone with a fake and joyful tone. “Sorry about that. Someone was at the door.”

He was visibly on the urge of coming again. His knees were weak and hands desperately grabbing your ankles for support. Despite the promise of being a good boy, Trevor was failing miserably. He groaned and arched his back as his cock twitched uncontrollably, cum pouring out and dripping onto his bedroom carpet, creating another white stain.

“Argh! – “

Ronald’s words were blurred out the moment you watched Trevor cum. The way he disobeyed you was enough to increase the blood circulating around your body. Your ears grew red and your stomach twirled at the possibilities of punishing Trevor in the most humiliating ways.

“Hey Ronnie…” You murmured into the phone. “Are you ever sick of having a boss like Trevor?”

When you gained the uncertain answer of “yes”, his voice fuelled with confusion and paranoia, you smiled and knelt to Trevor’s level, the phone still pressed against your ear. “I agree. He can be really bratty sometimes. Don’t you think?”

Trevor whimpered at your harsh insults. He shrivelled up when you came closer. He attempted to crawl away but you tugged him by the leash and he unwillingly fell back into your close proximity.

“It makes me wonder how someone can be such a cunt.” You expressed before grabbing his face and slapping it, the echo of the skin-to-skin violence interrupting the phone-call. While he moaned, you quickly covered it up by making another excuse. “Sorry. The neighbours dogs are loud today…”

Ronald questioned the dogs since he couldn’t recall any near Trevor’s trailer.

“Well, they just recently purchased a big dog. A real mean one. An ugly drooler too, all you can hear is panting and barking.” You lied and smirked as you described Trevor instead, holding him at your captivity. “It reminds me of someone. Don’t you think, Ron?”

Another tear streamed down Trevor’s face at the continuous bullying and degradation. He was enjoying it too much. He stared up at you and sobbed into the gag, hoping to get your attention, hating the way you were talking to Ron instead. His weak hands fell onto your ankles again – deprived of your love.

Though you tried to sacrifice as much of his desires, the way he frantically begged and touched your ankle distracted you from the phone. You looked down and saw him rocking against his knees, eyes wide when you finally took notice of him. Trevor whimpered loudly and tried to communicate his needs.

“You okay, sugar?” You ignored the call entirely and gently caressed his cheek, wiping away the repetitive trickles of tears.

“Mhm… Mm… Mmm.”

“You wanna cum?”

He nodded frantically again.

“You want my permission?”

“Mm!” Trevor whined.

“How bad do you wanna cum?” You asked and ensured Ron could hear the majority of the conversation to increase the tensity of Trevor’s punishment.

The only thing holding him back was the gag. He grabbed his collar and made rough noises while staring at you. His cock grew bright red and enflamed with the amount of pressure and sensitivity today. It was hurting him delightfully. However, you enforced a rule that morning. Though he had freedom of his hands, he was not aloud to touch himself. Trevor kept this promise. He stared up at you, his eyes asking you to help him cum.

“Good boy…” He practically moaned at your praise. You placed the phone on the nightstand, still on call, and unstrapped the gag around Trevor’s mouth.

The moment he regained the ability to speak, his voice cracked and was furiously high. “Fuck… Oh, yeah…”

“Your best buddy is still on the phone. He’s gonna hear you cum.” You said loudly and smirked when he panted.

“I need you, I need you,” Trevor repeated – not caring about Ron, “I need you, mama. Please – “

“God. You’re such a baby.” You threw the gag aside and forced him to his feet. His legs were shaking and he held onto your shoulders for stability while you grabbed onto his tormented cock.

Trevor winced and dug his nails into you. Your hands were hard on his erection. You weren’t gentle; you handled him with bitter gratitude and began to rub him cruelly. The pre-cum had made the skin slippery enough. The white semen stuck to your palm as you rubbed him down.

“It feels so good…” He whimpered into your neck. “Thank you, mommy. Thank you… Fuck…”

He was getting stiffer and stiffer by second, until it felt like you were rubbing rock. You knew he was going to cum again soon. While he stuck to your body pathetically, your hands gripped his tip hard, the sensation reaching his limit and cum drooling out.

“Holy fuck!” Trevor exclaimed as he experienced his sixth orgasm with you.

This was all played in front of Ron who was still on the line. You smirked when holding Trevor’s body weight, hearing the background noise of his employee awkwardly stuttering and excusing himself finally. It ended the moment Trevor turned to look at you.

He was exhausted and the collar around his neck was restricting his breathing. You fastened the strap and noticed the red mark it left. You hadn’t of realised how tight it was Trevor’s skin was irritated and burning from the immense pressure of leather to it. He itched it momentarily with a satisfied groan as you watched him carefully.

“How are you feeling?” You’d ask indifferently.

Trevor surprisingly seemed enchanted and energetic, though you had roughened him up the last few hours.

“You gotta do that more, ma.” He responded, accidentally using the bedroom terms where he’d call you provocative names to supress his trauma.

Nevertheless, it made you smile. “Yeah?”

“Mhm… Without Ron… On the phone.” His hands fell from your shoulders.

“Well, that’s too bad. Isn’t it?”

“Mama…” Trevor groaned quietly and sunk into your embrace. “Mmm…”

You were used to his clinginess after many, many climaxes. His lifestyle included the cranked up nights of zero sleep and drugged up veins, so you were happy he was at least feeling the after effects.

“Someone’s tired.”

“Shut up…” He muttered.

“Go to sleep?”

He was hesitant before nodding his head.

“I’ll be sure to make Ron call you later.” You added with a tease.

“Oh, shut up.”

[voraciousvore]

The Tiny (Chapter 20)

Chapter 1 | Previous (19) | Final chapter

Content Warning: vore themes/ hard vore mention

Word Count: 3k

------ Chapter 20: Coexistence ------

I regret ever bringing up my own parents. I avoid the topic for weeks until Jackie confronts me directly about it, while I’m working on my computer. “Chester? Are you going to call your parents and tell them?” 

I stop typing with a sigh and massage my forehead. “Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. I don’t want to put your safety at risk.” It pains me to admit that my parents would want to hurt Jackie. “I just… want us all to be a family together. I want you in my life completely. I don’t want to have to hide you from my relatives like I’m ashamed of you.” 

“I feel the same way, Chester. You don’t have to worry about me. I can defend myself with my magic if need be. And of course I’ll have you to protect me too.” 

“You… really mean that, Jackie?” Fatigued, I lay my chin on the desk and regard her closely. My brave little warrior looks up at me with glowing warmth in those soft eyes of hers, devoid of fear. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. A lesser human would be broken beyond repair by now, after everything that transpired. Jackie, however, is no ordinary woman. 

“Of course,” she confirms, petting my chin and gifting me a tiny kiss. 

“Alright. I’ll go call them then.” The words release from my lips as if another person is speaking for me. With my feet heavy as lead, I trudge over to the landline phone, bringing Jackie along for emotional support. I set her in my lap and dial the number I know so well, yet I rarely call. A trickle of cold dread drips into my core as the line rings. 

“Hello?” a deep, masculine voice answers, one that eats a hole in my heart. 

“H-hi Dad,” I stammer. 

“Chester.” His tone is flat and dead, lacking any fondness or enthusiasm. “Now this is unexpected. Haven’t heard from you in a while.” 

“R-right. Sorry Dad, I’ve been… busy.” I clam up, forgetting entirely how to speak. 

When I fail to follow up, my father punctures the silence with a harsh interjection. “What’s this about, boy? Speak up.” 

A drop of sweat rolls down my forehead. “Well Dad… I wanted to introduce you and Mom to someone. A girl I’m dating.” 

“Mmmm… it’s about time, Chester. You’ve been single too long. We can’t let our bloodline die because of useless sons.” 

Useless sons. The insult hits me like a gut punch. I’m always disappointing him, never good enough, never big or strong enough. I slump with humiliation. “Um… about that… the thing is…” 

He huffs and cuts off my rambling. “Whatever you want to say, you can tell me tomorrow. You can bring the little lady by to our house for supper. I’ll have your mother prepare a nice meal.” 

“Wait Dad-” Click. The dial tone grates my ear with a flat hum. I stare at the phone before placing it back in the receiver. Frustration boils over inside me. I hate the way he makes me feel—like I’m a pathetic, weak, repulsive little insect. “Goddammit!” I groan, rubbing my face with my hands. “Why can’t I ever get through to him?” I claw at my scalp as anxiety overshadows my anger. “What are we going to do now? We’re in so much trouble!” 

“Can you call him back?” Jackie asks, deeply unsettled by my reaction. 

“Even if I do, I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to tell him,” I admit sheepishly. “He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill both of us.” 

“Calm down, Chester, you’re his son. It can’t be that bad,” Jackie quavers. I’m frightening her. 

“You don’t understand. My dad is… scary.” I turn white, frightened myself. Should I tell her everything? How he forced me to hunt and eat live humans, beating me senseless if I refused? How he reveled in catching them, scaring them, torturing them, biting off chunks of their flesh while they bled out and screamed for mercy? How he treated his victims as nothing more than brainless animals? How he constantly ranted about what despicable, deceitful little weasels humans were, all the wrongs they had done to him personally, how he took out his grudge on any humans that were unlucky enough to cross his path? Should I tell her? 

“He’s huge, even by giant standards. And he has a monstrous temper. He’s a violent man.” Jackie shudders. “When Jasper and I were young, he would beat us for the most trivial things we did wrong. He was always disappointed in us for taking after our mother. She’s smaller than him, and we turned out small too.” 

Jackie flinches, ever so slightly. “Can we just not go?” 

“No,” I say through gritted teeth. “If we don’t go, he’ll get suspicious. He’s going to find out either way.” 

Jackie chews on her lip. “What about Jasper? Maybe he could convey the message if you’re too anxious. We could at least invite him to come with us. For moral support.” I nod in agreement and call him up. 

He answers promptly, jovial as always. “Hey there ol’ Chestnut, to what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“I’ve made a terrible mistake, Jasper. I’ve invited myself to our parent’s house tomorrow for dinner. With Jackie.” Just saying it out loud makes me realize how stupid I am. 

Jasper gasps. “Why in the world did you do that? Do they know she’s a human?” 

“That’s the thing. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them. Do you think… you can call them up?” 

I know I’m asking a lot. I’m sure my brother is sweating as much as I am as the lull in conversation drags out. “I’ll try,” he finally utters. 

“Call me back when you’re done.” I hang up. “And now we wait.” I gently squeeze Jackie like a stress ball, fiddling with her to help calm myself down. She’s such a treasure. I don’t know what I’ll do if my father tries to hurt her. Standing up to him is impossible, but I know he’ll never approve of my relationship with a human. At best, we can establish an uneasy truce. At worst…  

I don’t want to think about that. 

“I suppose this was going to happen sooner or later,” Jackie points out. 

“Yeah.” She’s right, of course. “It would be much worse for them to drop in unannounced and find you here.” Jackie shivers at the thought, and I’m quick to comfort her with a protective embrace, wrapping my fingers around her. 

The phone startles me with a loud ring, and I swipe up the receiver before it can ring again. “Well?” 

“Well. I talked to Dad.” He leaves me in suspense with a long pause. “I told him that I went to your house, and met your girlfriend.” 

“And?” 

“And… I told him she was nice.” 

“And?!” 

“And pretty. And brave. And that she’s a good match for you.” 

I roar with exasperation. “So you didn’t tell him.” 

“Nope. Sorry, brother. I tried. I really did.” 

“Will you at least come to dinner tomorrow with us?” 

Jasper sighs. “Alright. I’ll meet you at your house.” 

“Thanks, brother.” I hang up and scoop Jackie off my lap. “We should probably get some rest. It’s going to be a rough day tomorrow.” 

Jackie prepares for the big event by using her blood magic to produce plenty of human meat, as treats to placate the appetites of the other giants. When the time creeps closer, I get increasingly agitated. I can’t sit still; I pace the room and pluck at my hair until my brother arrives. We hop in my car and go. Jackie rides on my shoulder and massages out the stiff knots in my muscles. I think to myself that I simply can’t live without her. We must undergo this impossible trial, and emerge victorious, for the sake of our happiness. 

The pit of dread inside me grows heavier as we pass through the gates to my parent’s estate. Jackie gapes in wonder at the lavish gardens, the farmland and livestock, the artificial lake supplied with fish, and above all the mansion my parents reside in, a great stone edifice like a castle. My feet feel like they’re encased in mud as I get out of the car and trudge to the front door, which looms over my head. I nudge Jackie off my shoulder and into my palm, holding her close. 

I lift the huge metal knocker and bang it against the door. Mammoth footsteps from within the bowels of the mansion thud towards us. Jackie shrinks deeper into the cup of my hand: She may be courageous, but she is not immune to fear. I share her trepidation as the door opens, and a giant among giants steps out to greet us. 

Ajax, my father. He looks almost the same as I’ve always known him, like an ancient being that defies the ages, sparing some gray wisps of hair streaking his sideburns and peppering his thick beard. He’s massive, tall and broad, thick and muscled in the chest and limbs, big and sturdy like an old oak tree. Even as a full-grown adult, my head only reaches his chest. His weathered skin is marred by a scar that runs from his forehead to his cheek, covered by an eyepatch hiding the empty socket. He narrows his singular eye as he regards his two sons cowering before him. 

“What is this? Where’s the woman?” he bellows, his bass voice resounding through our bones. We all remain frozen, unable to move or speak under the unbearable weight of his presence. He squints when he notices I’m holding something, and his face darkens with hatred. “Why did you bring a human here? Is it for dinner? Your mom already cooked something.” 

I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. I lick my lips, swallow the lump in my throat, and try again. “That’s… my girlfriend,” I squeak. 

He doesn’t seem to understand at first. We stand in place like statues, the world serene around us, as if trapped in a deadly enchantment. It’s the calm before the storm. His countenance cycles through shock, then disbelief, then a seething rage that threatens to burn our flesh away. I’ve seem that look enough times to know what comes next. 

“WHAT?!” he screams. Even though I expected his outburst, I still recoil in time with Jackie and Jasper. I reflexively clutch Jackie to my chest, concealing her from his wrath as his gaze pierces me like a white-hot laser. His fist raises above me, and I prepare myself. His knuckles collide with the side of my head, and my vision goes dark. 

I regain consciousness on the floor, unsure about how much time has passed. Panic surges through me and I try to get up, only to get slapped down by a tide of static. 

“Chester, are you alright?” Jackie asks with concern. Relief sinks into me. Jackie’s okay. She’s sitting on my chest, safe and sound. 

“Yeah,” I mumble. “I’m sorry, Jackie. I knew this was going to be a disaster.” 

“It’s okay,” Jackie responds, patting my sternum. She ducks down as the giant door behind her opens. It’s only Jasper, kneading a bruise on his arm. 

“You can come in now. Mom’s cooled him off a bit,” Jasper grunts. I make eye contact with Jackie, asking her silently if she wishes to proceed. She nods firmly. 

“Alright,” I groan, hauling myself to my feet through a ripple of dizziness. I stumble through the door into the foyer. To my relief, my father is nowhere to be seen. He probably receded further into the house to blow off steam. I enter the sitting room, where my mother is waiting for us. She’s different in every way from her husband: where he is tall, she is short; where he is broad, she is slender; where he is powerful and forceful, she is dainty and graceful. She glides over to me, but halts when she catches sight of Jackie. 

My mother, usually so welcoming of guests, stares down her nose at my girlfriend coldly. Jackie doesn’t retreat from her icy gaze, but shifts with discomfort in my palm. I clear my throat and attempt to diffuse the tension. “Mom, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Jaclyn. Jackie, this is my mother, Gwen.” 

“I-it’s nice to meet you… Gwen,” Jackie stutters in a high pitch. 

For a moment, I fear my mom will ignore her, but fortunately after a huff she answers. “Nice to meet you too. I just wish it wasn’t under these circumstances.” She waves her hand dismissively, as if disgusted. 

Rage bubbles in my belly. Poor Jackie is trying her best, despite how intimidated she is, and my parents refuse to have any civility. I know my father is a lost cause, but I expected my mother at least to have a better attitude and extend some politeness. “Mother, you’re being rude. I love her. If you can’t respect that, we are going to leave now.” 

Gwen’s eyes widen with surprise at my ultimatum. Ajax peers around the doorway and strides in when he hears my statement. His aura is suffocating; my heart palpitates weakly under the thick, heavy atmosphere. “You really mean that?” he growls. 

This time, I refuse to back down. “Yes. With all my heart,” I declare. I bristle, ready for another blow. Instead, he holds out his huge hand. 

“Let me see her.” The color drains out of my face. Jackie, too, turns pale as a ghost. “I won’t harm her. Give her to me,” he orders, aggressively putting out his hand again.  

I freeze up. I’ve seen my father literally tear humans to pieces, and I would never let that happen to my precious Jackie. However, while Ajax is many things, he’s also a man of his word. If he promises not to hurt her, she will be safe. I look down at her. Though I can plainly see she is terrified, she stands tall and defiant—well, as tall as a person less than the height of my finger can stand. 

The pride I feel for her outweighs my possessive uncertainty. My father, a noble and fierce warrior, will respect a fearless adversary. His larger, rougher, thicker hand makes mine look slim and dainty by comparison as our hands meet to allow Jackie passage. She climbs into his immense palm willingly, crouching in the center. She’s little more than a speck in the valleys of skin. 

I’m surprised how careful he is as he raises her to his face. I’ve never once seen my father be gentle with a human, but now he handles her with expertise, as if he’s done this many times before. I’m struck with the shocking realization that maybe he wasn’t always so barbaric to our miniature brethren.  

He holds her up to his eye and examines her closely. She stares back unflinchingly, though her body quivers in a fear response that seems beyond her control. As always, I’m struck by her remarkable courage, and Ajax is affected in the same way. He chuckles with a soft rumble as he observes the ferocity of such a diminutive being, paired with her shakiness. Jackie stiffens, unsure how to respond. 

Ajax’s face hardens into a more severe expression. Behind his eye, I can just make out a glimmer of deep sadness. “Do you know why I hate humans?” he asks. Jackie shakes her head. “They took my eye from me,” he explains, tapping his eyepatch, “and they took my home away. What do you think about that?” He frowns, the coals of his anger firing up again at old memories. 

Jackie, fully aware of her vulnerable position, measures out her words before answering. “I’m sorry that happened to you,” she states diplomatically. “It’s tragic the way things turned out. My hope is that giants and humans can live together in harmony. I’m in love with your son, and I want to stay with him here, in the Land of Giants.” 

Ajax stares at her pensively, at her firm and earnest expression, processing her response. His serious visage flickers into dying embers, then softens, as he accepts her. He hands her back to me. I snatch her up and clasp her against my chest defensively. Once she’s hidden from sight by my fingers, she slumps against me, trembling hard. I compress her gently for reassurance. 

“Let’s eat dinner,” Ajax grunts. He leads us all into the dining room, where we engage in an uncomfortable meal. I’m infinitely grateful to Jasper for his boisterous and cheerful talking that keeps the conversation flowing. I cut up a portion for Jackie off my own plate, but she struggles to eat or relax when surrounded by hungry, gluttonous giants. Fortunately, the hostility that was oozing off my parents from the beginning slowly transforms into resignation, perhaps even a tinge of curiosity. After all, a human would have to be very special, if not completely insane, to date a giant. My special little Jackie. I curl my fingers around her lovingly. 

The evening goes about as well as it possibly can, given the circumstances. We excuse ourselves after dinner, cutting the engagement short, a decision that I’m sure we can all agree on. I’m aware it will take some time for my folks to warm up to Jackie properly. I’m relieved the hard part is over as I drive home, with Jackie nestled in my lap.  

We did it. We cleared the final hurdle that was keeping us apart. Now we can be together, without tearing our families to shreds. Our separate spheres—big and small, giant and human, predator and prey—can come together in harmony. 

Final Chapter

[wonjnz]

drunk on (the thought of loving) you

₊˚⊹ summary: five years of loving hanbin can be told within taking five shots.

₊˚⊹ genre: angst (idk if this is even sad at all.. VV SLICE OF LIFE), best friend!hanbin, collegel!au | wc: 2.2k

₊˚⊹ warning(s): swearing, mentions of drinking | inspo: that’s what you get - paramore

₊˚⊹ a/n: idk this was kinda scrapped last month .. i’ll just post this bc i wanna keep this acc alive!!!

i. the first shot

you vividly remember watching hanbin crying in the driver’s seat.

you were the first person he called right after he got dumped by his now ex-girlfriend; and all you could do was watch and offer him a few tissues from the passenger’s side, occasionally offering a “she wasn’t all that, anyway.” whenever hanbin would rant about how much he wasted his love on her just to get ghosted.

“i don’t know anymore, y/n. am i that dumb to not notice she isn’t into me?” he asks despite his throat dry from crying, looking at you.

and that’s when you had that damn cheesy realization the moment you looked at hanbin again — the realization where you’ve stupidly fallen for your long-time best friend and that stupid, high school love you’ve been trying to avoid for all these years slowly dawns on you now despite both of you in college.

you shrug your feelings off for the meantime, “of course not. plus, you deserve someone way better.” you assure him.

the moment you arrive home, you’ve had the whole night to confirm that you were, in fact, helplessly in love with sung hanbin.

you don’t even know how it started — maybe it was during the one time he tiredly slept on your shoulder while on the way home from a field trip, or the way he’d always invite and mention you everywhere and anytime he could to the point even his friends thought you were together, and you don’t even dare try to remember how he said “i’ll love you whenever nobody is there to do it.” that one night during your nightly calls.

and as if that wasn’t already a big wave enough, zhang hao’s reaction to it felt like a tsunami.

“say you’re kidding right now.” zhang hao says in disbelief at your confession the next day, putting his drink down to focus solely on you. “you, liking your — our best friend since middle school, right after his ass got dumped?”

you frown and shrug as a reply, “i don’t know, everything just clicked that time. i think that’s like three years worth of having to interpret his mixed signals towards me.”

zhang hao sighs at your confused state, taking a sip from his coffee before speaking up, “so you’ve liked him for at least three years now?”

slowly nodding, you put your head in your hands. “god, i’m such a fucking dumbass, hao.” you say exasperatedly as you dread the day you’d grow tired and finally confess to hanbin,

“you think you’ll try talking to him about it soon?”

“i don’t think i’ll ever have the guts to tell him, hao.” you say defeatedly, looking down at your phone to see that hanbin sent another really long rant about his ex. “not when he’s still fresh out of a relationship, that’s for sure.”

“i’m just scared that once i confess, i’ll ruin everything. i’ll ruin us.”

you felt helpless, hopeless even, just the mere thought of seeing hanbin’s pitiful reaction at your confession is enough to make you pass out in the bustling cafe you were in. what more when he’ll start distancing himself days after? you were terrified.

zhang hao waves your fear off nonchalantly, “you’ll never know. what if you’re in some kind of drama and this could be your chance?” he tries to lighten the mood, smiling victoriously when you raise your eyebrows at him.

“don’t feed into my delusions hao,” you roll your eyes at him. “i'll just tell him once i'm over from this whole dumb ‘liking your best friend’ thing.”

“by the looks of it, i don't think that's happening anytime soon.”

you scoff and playfully hit zhang hao’s shoulder, receiving a small scowl from him, “but you gotta admit, we make a good pair,”

“he just doesn't love me that way.”

ii. the second shot

sometimes you wish you weren’t too adamant on hanbin drinking his heartbreak out, especially now that you’re left with a drunk-out-of-his-mind hanbin in your apartment. (you mentally curse zhang hao for leaving earlier than expected.)

the night started off with the three of you making a toast to hanbin moving on, which then evolved into a mini ranting session about going into college life, then a sudden karaoke break, zhang hao leaving after, and now this.

you’re both slouched on the dining table, arms serving as your only pillow because for some reason you can’t walk over to your sofa, and with no knowledge of time as you ramble on about the most random topics you could think of.

hanbin hums amusingly, “y’know, even if you say nobody is there to love you, i’m always here as your best friend.” his words slurred and groggy. and even with the amount of alcohol in your system numbing your senses, you still felt that little sting in your heart, you only laugh as a reply.

“so you'll only ever see me as a friend?”

you hear him hum lowly, “of course, what else would i think of you as?”

right, of course.

“not even more than a friend?” you, or the alcohol in your system, ask again. hanbin slowly hums again, the sound softening until you're met with nothing but the sound of the bustling city outside your apartment.

a few minutes passed by and you finally gain the strength to at least sit up, the sight of hanbin sleeping coming in full view — his slight pout, light breathing with a few snores here and there, and ruffled hair was honestly a sight you wished you could look at forever. but you swear the longer you stared at him, that god-awful feeling of regret starts to feel even stronger than before.

but that night, you fell in love with sung hanbin for a second time.

iii. the third shot

“you know, we started talking again.” hanbin shares through the phone, going silent as he expects some reaction. no way.

you shift in your seat, “seriously? didn’t you say you officially moved on like what, two years ago?” hanbin smiles sheepishly to himself before saying, “she messaged me last night, so i replied. we talked the whole time i barely slept.”

“we’ll hang out a bit after this actually! you wanna join us?” he offers innocently, your heart receiving a jab this time when you noticed how excited his voice seemed just at the mere thought of seeing her, you knew hanbin well enough to know he was madly in love yet again.

you stay silent for a few minutes before speaking up, “you guys have fun, i don’t wanna be the third-wheel between you two.” hanbin mumbles a small ‘awe,’ before eventually ending the call to get ready.

next thing you know, you’re on facetime with zhang hao bawling your eyes out about what just happened. “see i told you, he’s still hung up on her.” he says while walking around his apartment.

genuinely speaking you don’t know what’s worse, the harsh truth zhang hao was telling or the way you could barely hear his voice due to the amount of muffling and moving he’s doing.

“did you see the way he’s talking about her? he’s literally the most obvious man alive.”

“you’re really not helping me here hao.”

“right, sorry.” zhang hao immediately shuts up, humming a bit before speaking up again. “i know it’s not easy, but at least try to move on from him, y’know?” he says, his voice filled with sympathy at your state.

before you could speak up zhang hao continues on, “it’s not possible, i know, or — i don’t know, just tell him so you can get that burden off, i’m sure he’ll understand anyway.”

you groan at the thought of confessing, “are those really my only choices?”

“unless you wanna live with getting hurt over and over again, yeah.” zhang hao shrugs.

you sigh at his advice, he was right after all, but every time you remember your friendship is at stake; you back out at the last minute. “i’ve been handling this for two years, hao, don’t you think i can handle two more?” zhang hao chuckles almost pitifully.

“of course not, you’ve been handling this whole hanbin thing for, correction, five years too long. you've genuinely gone batshit crazy.”

“honestly hao fuck you because was the last part really that necessary?”

iv. the fourth shot

god, you’re tired of hanbin’s constant compliments about her; how she’s the best person in the world, how she’s the prettiest girl he’s seen, how she’s so special and dear to him. almost every conversation you’ve had would always go back to something related about her, even if it meant the most absurd topics only you three would know. the topic could be about how zhang hao got lost in the middle of a forest and hanbin would still tie it back to her.

hell, he even mentions her even while drinking.

but you’ve handled it for five years now, so what’s the difference?

the three of you were celebrating your graduation in zhang hao’s apartment, the bouquet from your parents laying on the sofa while your togas were thrown across the room while zhang hao’s coffee table was filled with a bunch of soju and shot glasses you bought from a nearby convenience store.

“thank god we’re finally graduates, i can finally escape from all those girls taking candid pictures of me.” zhanghao sighs in relief the moment he starts downing his first drink of the night, pouring more.

“you sure? i already saw new fansites of you online, they’ll never leave you alone at this rate.” hanbin retorts, you chuckle at zhang hao's horror as he's frantically checking his twitter to see pictures of him at his graduation.

the night, cliché enough, felt like a dream. the three of you basking in the temporary freedom of adulthood before you start looking for work.

as it went on, you missed the days where you could look at hanbin without noticing the stars in his eyes, the days where you could still speak full coherent sentences whenever his attention is fully on you, and zhang hao noticed.

“it's just hard to say no to someone you really loved,” you hear hanbin say, zhang hao had brought up his ex (to your absolute horror and zhang hao's drunkenness) and you've been quiet the whole conversation.

“especially with her, it felt like i had no more to give but the moment we talked — there was still something left.”

you chuckle, not at him, but the way his words hit how you feel with hanbin right in the center. and yet you just can't refuse to give hanbin the little love you have left even when he's freely giving his own to someone else.

you take another shot to drown your feelings out more, “so you just can't say no, right?” you ask, seeing if he feels the same way.

hanbin smiles at you before nodding, placing his shot glass down to lean back on his chair. “yeah. you really can't.” he answers, confirming that you were both experiencing the same form of love. but painfully enough, just not towards each other.

god, was the truth so anticlimactic for you.

the way hanbin talks about her with the same lovestruck eyes whenever you talk about him to zhang hao, how you notice the little things in hanbin the way he also notices the little things in her — you knew it from the start.

but to see it slapped to your face despite knowing how it'll end, just felt like reality slowly kicking in the more drinks you take.

and now, under zhang hao's dim apartment lights, you realized that the truth that sung hanbin will never see you as more than his most cherished best friend since middle school, really does hurt.

you swear you were just drinking your first shot, but when you woke up to find yourself on zhang hao's bed; a loud snore coming from the living room and—

v. the fifth shot

“you awake?”

shit.

quickly turning to hanbin's figure by the bedroom door despite the pounding headache, you slowly nod. “just woke up actually.”

as you slowly look at hanbin by the bedroom door, you immediately remember the day you realized your feelings for him — his face puffy from crying yet still so pretty under that orange sunset glow, his hands that’d usually tap on the steering wheel when he was starting to calm down again, and the way his shirt was so wrinkled in one specific area from all the bunching.

it felt almost too poetic to have that sort of realization under the sunset in his car, almost as if you’re bidding goodbye to the days you used to look at him as just your best friend.

so you, or the remaining alcohol in your system figured, rather, that you make use of the sunrise to finally welcome the harsh truth of confessing to him.

and you did.

“i love you.”

you’re met with nothing but silence, looking down to save yourself from bawling your eyes out in front of him.

“i’ve loved you for five years, hanbin. five fucking grueling years.” you manage to croak out, not noticing the way hanbin slowly makes his way towards you, nor the way his eyes significantly soften when he sees zhang hao’s sheets slowly staining from your tears.

a few minutes pass without much happening, the room only filled with the sounds of your sniffling.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” hanbin whispers, eventually embracing you to at least bring some comfort. but to his dismay, his actions just made you cry even harder; not because you just got rejected, but because of how soft his voice and embrace was it felt like he was pitying you.

in his defense, who wouldn’t? you loved him for so long, despite knowing he’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend and regardless will still see you as his most precious best friend. all he could do at the moment was continuously say ‘i’m sorry’ whenever you cling onto his shirt tighter as support.

as you continue to cry in his embrace, you realized that under the sunset, you were there to comfort hanbin. but as you’re both waiting for the sunrise, you figured he’ll never be the one there for you like he promised.

[finligz]

Alright, time for my opinion on Solarballs ships

I’d like to start by saying that no matter what fandom I join I tend to only support the official or canon ships. The reasons for that are:

1. I’m not a fan of romantic stuff as a whole, even makes me terribly uncomfortable sometimes

2. I just can’t imagine relationships in my head, so I need something to guide me like a text or better some type of imagery which is usually non-existent or poorly executed when unofficial. So the canon ships are easier for me to understand by default

3. I’m too into friendship or family dynamics, when I see characters who aren’t a couple I already imagine them in those types of settings, so the ships with them don’t make sense to me anymore

But even with all that I can say that I’m not really against most of the ships. Some of them even seem cute and a few of them I even ship myself, tho it’s rare

So today in this post I wanna state my unwanted opinion about the most popular ships in the Solarballs fandom.

Let’s start with the +- canon ones

1. Astrodude x his wife

Literally one the cutest married couples on media that I’ve ever seen. They just support each other all the time no matter what, and you can see how they care about each other. And even when so far away they still keep in touch and love each other

2. Ganymede x Europa

No matter how badly they behave in the story and how awful some of their decisions were, they still seem like they’re made for each other. They seem more like a “long-term relationship” couple to me and I like it a lot, the way they’re not as lovey-dovey and actually accept each other the way they are is very refreshing tbh. I like how Europa doesn’t try to make Ganymede change his beliefs just for the sake of her own and vice-versa, just reminding him sometimes that they’re together ahahah

3. Pluto x Charon

Alright, this one is my favourite in the whole show. They are VERY cute and I like how Charon tries to cheer up Pluto and support him when he feels awful. And even when they don’t understand each other, they stay nice and open minded usually (except when Pluto is ranting about himself and planets). They’re like a couple that grew together and it’s awesome

4. Titan x Titania

I don’t know how I feel about this. They just seem quite too different. And too awkward. Titania probably liked how confident Titan seemed and now has a crush on him in the show, but Titan just doesn’t strike me as a person ready to be in a relationship. He’s too invested in the whole system’s politics rn. I can picture him awkwardly frendzoning anyone who’s gonna confess to him. Maybe in the future this might work in a way like: “we accomplished everything we fought for and now can be together”. Also I think Titan would be too demanding for Titania to feel comfortable, she needs someone more gentle

Now moving on to most popular unofficial ships

Here besides my opinion on the ship I’ll also tell how I personally see interactions between these characters

5. Jupiter x Saturn

This actually seems very nice and cute in a way. Like a married couple maybe? At least when they bicker in the show they kinda give off that vibe. They could work as a couple. Saturn is very sensitive and protective and Jupiter needs support and seems like a patient guy, so they match well!

Personally I picture them more like old friends that rarely gather together anymore but are still close and supportive

6. Callisto x Triton

Maybe that could work? Both of them seem like adults with strong opinions on life and stuff. They might have something in common, but they are too different in my opinion still. Triton strives for freedom and lack of responsibility, while Callisto wants someone to lead her so she won’t have to be responsible. And even if some might say that Callisto changed in the show, I really don’t think so. Also I don’t think they’ll do great with long-distance relationships. For both of them it will be too much unnecessary work to maintain such relationships

I think that Triton sees Callisto as his first friend and that’s why he cares so much. It just doesn’t seem like he knows what to do and how to act. Callisto could also think of Triton as a friend, although maybe just a good acquaintance for now

7. Mars x Earth

It could work? I mean they are best friends and Mars clearly cares about Earth a lot, so he tries to not be too judgemental or put too much pressure on him. Earth also cares about Mars. I’ll just remind you how he made the whole tournament just so Mars will get back to him. So yeah, this seems like a bromance ship in a way, which means it works fine. Friends to lovers shift could happen in this case, although I don’t think they’ll be all lovey-dovey like many people portray them

I see them as best friends just as in the show

8. Earth x Venus

This doesn’t work imo. Venus is too aggressive and communicates poorly. By that I mean that Venus in the show doesn’t seem like a person with a lot of social skills or even experience. The fact that he didn’t know how to play asteroid dodgeball until the tournament tells us about how he didn’t communicate with Earth and Mars a lot. He doesn’t seem like the guy to understand romantic love. Earth on the other hand doesn’t care about Venus much and is too dominant. Even if he confessed to Venus and Venus agrees (not exactly knowing if he actually liked Earth), they would get irritated with each other as they’re both too stubborn and closed off.

I see them as acquaintances at the moment with a lot of actual friendship potential

9. Uranus x Earth

Just no. Even if you’re going to reason that by telling how it’s “canon in mythology”, it doesn’t have anything to do with the actual show. Even if they seem cute enough together, like a shy x confident dynamic and even knowing how similar their current problems are (too afraid to say something wrong/be themselves), it’s just too out of their comfort zones. Uranus is an introvert, maybe even with a sprinkle of sociophobia and he’ll feel very awkward in any relationship. He’ll say some stuff he doesn’t mean and will feel terrible about himself afterwards. Earth in those situations would probably want to push it and sometimes could embarrass Uranus even more. Also I’ll remind you that Earth and Uranus barely know each other. Long distance relationships also would be hard as Earth can’t leave the Goldilocks zone and Uranus probably wouldn’t want to go through 3 other planets’ orbits just to visit Earth.

I don’t see them interacting much.

10. Luna x Titan

This could work. Seems like a pretty serious ship with them both being very thoughtful and pragmatic. Maybe sometimes flirty, but not much. They share some of their opinions. Luna is also very, VERY patient and supportive and Titan needs that as he tries to reach his goals. However, I think right now they have other stuff to worry about. But in the future? I think it will work nicely.

I personally see them as friends

11. Mercury x Sun

Too toxic. It has the vibes of Boss x helpless employee which I’m very uncomfortable with. I don’t think that Sun could seriously love one of his planets romantically and Mercury wouldn’t want to date someone who literally hurts him all the time and demands constant attention. Just no. I don’t understand nor do I want to understand this one.

I see them only as friends. Maybe a bit one-sided with Mercury questioning this friendship

Alright, I think I covered the majority of the popular ships.

Again I’d like you to know that I don’t hold anything against you if you ship anything listed above, cause it wholly depends on people’s tastes.

If you want me to answer any of your questions there’s a button for them in my profile. See ya!