#maybe I should spend more time on them lol
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jisungiesvzz · 15 hours ago
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He Won’t Know
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Han Jisung x fem!reader
Best friends brother trope (Minho is your brother, Jisung is his best friend)
Warnings: lots of kissing/heavy making out, angst at the end, mood changes quickly, not so happy ending (that’s it I think?)
Word Count: 1.8k (a little over)
Summary: You had fallen for your brother's roommate/best friend, Jisung, and it was getting harder to hide it. You’d managed to suppress your feelings for him but his constant flirting and need to get you flustered didn’t help. You had to spend the week at their dorm due to your roommates lack of spacial awareness, giving you unexpected alone time with Jisung. Will he be able to win you over or will your brother get in the way?
P.S. this is NOT proofread so please lmk if there’s any warnings I missed or spelling/grammar mistakes. Okay now go enjoy the story :)
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Your brother Minho shared a dorm with his best friend Jisung. You often spent the night there because your crazy roommate was either always yelling at someone over the phone or had a guy over at the late hours of the night. She had no spacial awareness and constantly left her things all over the kitchen, bathroom and living room.
Most nights you could handle your roommates obnoxious and incredibly annoying nature but some nights, like tonight, you just couldn’t take it anymore. 
Your roommate was yelling at her “friend” over the phone and you could hear her from the down the hall. You repeatedly told her to be quiet because you were running on two hours of sleep and had an exam early in the morning and needed some good rest but she just yelled at you and slammed the door in your face. You pulled out your phone and called Minho. It barely made it past the first ring when he picked up.
“Y/n is everything okay?” 
You let out a long sigh, “No, everything’s not okay.”
“What happened?”
Although, you hadn’t mentioned your roommate, Minho already had a pretty clear idea of why you were calling.
“I really hate to ask this but…” you paused for a moment unsure if you should continue. You wanted to ask to stay the week so you could get some sleep for your upcoming exams but you felt like you’d be a bother to them for staying that long. After all, you’ve never stayed more than one night. “Can I stay at your place for… the week? I know I’ve never stayed that long but my roommate is being so disrespectful. You don’t have to say yes, I don’t want to bother you guys.”
Minho chuckled humorlessly, taking you a bit by surprise.
“You’ve never been a bother, Y/n. We wouldn’t let you stay over if you were.”
“Are you sure it’s okay?” 
“Y/n, don’t make me go down there and pack your stuff for you,” he playfully threatened. “Because you know I will.”
You giggled to yourself, “Yeah, you totally would. Okay, uh… give me a few minutes then I’ll head over.”
“Be safe and call me when you get here so I can come down and get you,” Lee Know said.
You hummed in response and ended the call.
You let out a relieved sigh as you headed to your room to pack your bag. 
—————
You arrived outside Minho and Jisung’s dorm building, your finger hovering over Minho’s contact. You stared at your phone for a while, feeling a bit nervous now that you were there. 
You were caught off guard when you got a text message.
Jisung: I can see you standing outside. You don’t need to be nervous, jagi ;).
You looked up from your phone and saw Jisung sitting on the window frame, looking down at you from his bedroom window. The nickname gave you butterflies but you fought them back as you typed a response.
You: lol I’m not nervous.
Jisung: you’ve been standing there for five minutes… I’d say you’re nervous.
You playfully rolled your eyes at him then headed towards the building. You raised your hand to knock on the door but it opened before you could make contact. 
“You got telepathy or something?” You questioned as you looked at Minho.
“Maybe…” he replied rubbing the back of his neck, “Hurry up and get settled in it’s already pretty late.”
You walked in and set your stuff down by the couch. You usually sleep on the couch when you spend the night since the dorm doesn’t have a spare room.
“I’d stay out here with you for a bit but I have an early morning,” Minho said letting out a deep breath.
You looked up from your bags and gave him a tired, reassuring smile, “It’s okay. Go and get your rest.”
Minho gave you one last comforting smile before wandering off to his room. You scavenged your pajamas out of your bag and headed for the bathroom. You changed into your pajamas and opened the door to leave when you were met with Jisung directly outside the door.
You swear your heart skipped a beat as you made eye contact with him.
“Hey…” you whispered a little startled.
“Hey,” Jisung said with a soft smile. He looked you up and down and you shifted from the spot you were standing in. He let out a soft chuckle and a smirk before commenting, “Cute pajamas.”
“Oh- uh thank you,” you replied back a little more flustered than you wanted. He was almost chest to chest with you now and you held your breath.
“Minho told me you’re staying for a week? Is it that bad with your roommate?”
For such a simple statement, his tone was low and sultry, taking you a bit by surprise. Your words were caught in your throat for a moment as you looked up at him. You knew he knew what he was doing to you but you refused to give in.
“Y-yeah it is… I should just live here at this point,” You half-joked.
“Hm, I’m not opposed to it,” Jisung mused leaning impossibly closer.
You didn’t know what to say after that. His body was leaned up against yours now and his lips were inches from yours. You didn’t know how it got to this point but all you wanted to do was kiss him and he knew it. He smirked at your flustered state before closing the gap between you. 
The kiss was slow but sloppy, making you melt into him. He placed his hands on your hips and you wrapped your arms around his neck.  He squeezed your hips causing you to gasp and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. You moaned into the kiss as his tongue danced around your mouth. His hands slid down to the back of your thighs and squeezed, lifting you up and placing you on the bathroom counter. He broke from the kiss and trailed kisses from your cheek to you jawline, making his way down to your neck. He sucked and licked at your neck and you moaned at the new sensation. 
You covered your mouth suddenly remembering that your brother was in the room next door. You knew how wrong this was, even though it felt so good.
“Ji… mmh wait,” you breathed out trying to contain your whimpers. He broke off from your neck and admired the purple mark that was starting to form. 
“We can’t- we shouldn’t do this,” you continued.
“Why not, jagi?”
“It’s not right.”
Jisung pressed his tongue against his cheek and let out a breath of air, “It’s because you’re my best friends sister, right?” 
You didn’t know what to say. Partially because you didn’t know what he meant from the tone in his statement.
“Ji, it’s not a bad thing but… you know my brother won’t take this well.”
He sighed looking down, “I know, I know. This-” he points his finger between you two, “is forbidden.”
“How I hate unspoken rules…” you mumbled.
Silence fell between the two of you and Jisung nuzzled his face into your neck. He let out a deep breath that you didn’t realize he was holding as you wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking his hair with your hands soothingly. You stayed like that for a few moments before Jisung broke the silence.
“He doesn’t have to find out you know,” his voice was muffled from his face still being buried in your neck.
“What…? What are you implying?” You say furrowing your brows.
Jisung lifted his head from your shoulders to look you in your eyes. His expression was needy but hopeful, like he wanted this to work with you. All those times he flirted with you might of actually meant something. Part of you thought his flirty comments and actions was just for his own entertainment and not because he actually felt something for you.
“I want to be with you. Like really bad. All my flirty comments… they weren’t just to make you flustered.” 
He laughed to himself and grinned, “I mean bonus if they did.” 
You softly laughed at his comment. Then it hit you. He wanted to be with you and he was serious. You hadn’t realize you had gone quiet.
“Can you say please something?” He whispered, his eyes flickering to look at your lips.
“I… I wanna be with you too, Ji.” You paused shifting on the counter a little.
“You don’t seem like you want it.” His gaze softened and you frowned at his disappointment.
“No I do, I do. It’s just-” you were suddenly cut off by a loud, shocked voice.
“What the fuck?!”
You both turned your heads to find Minho standing in the door way, mouth opened in shock. Jisung immediately ripped away from you as you jumped off the counter top. Jisung started fumbling over his words.
“M-Minho it’s not what it looks like-”
“Really? You’re gonna tell me that after the position I just saw you two in?” Minho retorted taking a step towards him.
“Minho just hear us out,” you chimed in.
“You know what, no,” Minho threw his hands up in surrender, “I don’t want to hear it. This is-” He paused for a second then looked at Jisung causing him to take a step back,  “That’s my fucking sister.”
Before either of you could say anything else, Minho turned around to leave, slamming his bedroom door. You and Jisung stood in the bathroom in silence, shocked from the situation. The air became thin and suddenly you couldn’t handle being in the same room as him. You thought coming here would fix your problems but trouble just seemed to follow you here.
“We should talk this out in the morning…”  you whispered, your voice slightly cracking.
“Jagi please-”
“Ji, can we please just talk about this in the morning.” You sighed, not wanting to think about the situation further. 
Jisung lowered his head with a frown, “Yeah… yeah we can do that.”
You nodded and left the bathroom, leaving Jisung alone. 
Author’s Note: The amount of times I rewrote this ending is INSANE. I eventually just gave up so sorry for the semi-abrupt ending. I can attempt a part 2 later… maybe 😐
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Gosh, this is gonna be a long story… I mean really long…
Absolutely starting with T.H.White’s the once and future king. My parents were like changing working places in different countries all the time and so my siblings and I were usually went to international schools which were taught in English, u know, global language, and international schools in all countries teach in English. So back to about 7 one of my teachers (a very sweet British lady) gave me that White’s novel and I was just so into it. But then I’m started to focus on other stuffs and did not think about Arthurian for years.
The when I was like 13 or something(can’t remember lol) my family moved to the UK and my school was like spending the whole year teaching Le Morte D’ Arthur in Literature class, but what’s the most important for me is that, they adapted the book into a stage play (not a big one, just school show) and selected performers from among the students. Yes, and I have been chosen to cast Guinevere. (I still don’t know why my teacher choose me a new coming student and English is like my 3rd or 5th language, maybe just eney menny miny moe ur gonna be Guinevere in this show lol). I was under huge pressure but also very grateful for the trust so I was like “I’m gonna do this beyond just ok, come hell or high water”. I made the whole year absorbing all Arthurian sources as much as I could and I spent most of my time learning about Gwen (Obviously). I feel like I started to have a strong and deep emotion connection to the Camelot Queen and by the end of the show I felt like I wanted to cry so badly, I was so attached to Guinevere (it was really embarrassing i still can’t figure out what’s wrong with myself lol).
Yeah, I think this is where I really started to get into the Arthurian legend, I even think that liking it was the reason I chose to stay in the UK. (Yup, my parents have since happily gone on to work in other countries, but I said I don't want to wander around, I’m gonna stay here plz let me stay) Gosh, it's so convenient that if you live in the UK if you see a certain location of interest for Arthurian you can just go there and check it out…
btw my sister is also quite into Arthuriana (well, under my influence), but she’s pretty stick to Arthur & Guinevere, so every time u know when i say “aww i feel like Guincelot and even MordGuin is cute” she’s like “damn u…” lol, sisterhood<3
Plz ignore this part:
And thanks for the Isles of Britain to “adopt” me lol, feels like I'd be more likely to call the UK my home rather than others, as although I've lived in many countries (thanks to my parents? I guess I should be thankful? But I actually don’t really think so) I haven't grown attached to any of them probably because none of them have I lived for time long enough (even those where my ancestors came from, how to say this, like my lineage). Being mixed race identity crisis has always been a thing, even exacerbated by changing residence all the time in my childhood, so it really feels good to have a place a country to be called home u know… Seriously, in that way, Arthurian legend has changed my life (my saviour) (this sounds really really weird I know…)
Yeah i just yapped too much, ignore me plz… but this question just brought so many precious memories to me🥹… thx 4 this question for just be brought up🥺
arthuriana fandom. what was your FIRST introduction to arthuriana im v curious,,, like was it a book a movie word of mouth etc etc
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dinjoyer · 2 years ago
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How long does it take to make your animations? Do you have a pile of ideas waiting to be done, or do you just make them as you hear/see something that inspires?
Like a
Stupidly short amount of time cuz I bullshit them 😭😭
My last one took me a little under an hour and a half, compared to my actual pieces which take me 4-8 hours
I have a bunch of audios saved on tiktok for videos, but usually I’ll just be scrolling and find smth that randomly inspires me. And then I’ll make the most quick and lazy drawings of my life bc I know I won’t complete the vid unless I can do it all in one sitting 💀💀
Thank you for the ask!!
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mushroominaforest · 5 days ago
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On a scale of one (you’ll be fine and have fun!) to ten (you’re gonna be soooo traumatized after) how bad of an idea do you think it is to go to a sleepover with my two creepy friends
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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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gotta-bail-my-quails · 25 days ago
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yknow i think ive severely overestimated how much people in college have their shit together
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in-deep · 2 years ago
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Can’t stop thinking about these three things:
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2)
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3) which I don’t see anyone talking about?!!
Mike has a song called telephone operator on his official Spotify playlist!
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And here's the music video, which is so interesting to look at from a Mike Wheeler analysis point of view. Especially with the added context of S4.
youtube
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sudokuplayer · 6 months ago
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
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sysig · 2 years ago
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Playdate (Patreon)
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ishizu-ka · 4 months ago
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Seance Bride Zaira 🌹
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yongseungkim · 8 months ago
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#literally such a big part of me wants to go like#okay well if you and xyz are just friends#like truly just friends and you arent in denial/omitting the truth from me#have u considered maybe just maybe that it looks like you could be leading her on#the amount of time they spend together is kinda nuts#and its so funny cuz yesterday she was like talking about how her brain doesnt make those connections like#two other ppl before they started dating were spending copious amts of time together and i was like dont u see that?#and she was like no?? to me its like what if they just enjoy spending time with each other#and honeslty more than her i looked at xyzs reaction#cuz she looked STRAIGHT at her when they were talking about all that time they spent together.#bro idk i know she doesnt like to think but man she kinda should like#sometimes i think im insane but other times im like yeah if this was any other pairing of two people would def think smth fishy is going on#spending this much time with ONE person bruh like im her roommate now and i dont even spend nearly as much time#and she doesnt really invite me to do things when its the two of them which to me feels slightly weird from time to time#cuz im friends w both of em?? so it unintentionally feels exclusatory but thats okay lol im trying to let go#i know i feel hurt because shes choosing to spend time with xyz person too instead of with me#i know they have a different relationship too where its like both are on the more active side of things so maybe for her shes just like#oh this is my workout friend/buddy can do all the phsyical exercise i want#bc this girl can also keep up with her athletic demands but dear lordie#if she is telling me the truth as she believes it shes either in deep deep denial or shes leading this girl on for real like#they are just always attached at the hip and like the amount of physical affection bw the two has like#skyrocketed in the past month or so its nUTS#bro honestly i need to stop thinking about this and move on i cant keep getting pits in my stomach when i know shes out and about#and prob with xyz person lol
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arolesbianism · 8 months ago
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Y'know there already is such a nonexistent market for oni art in general so the fact that I wanna draw more au art is killing me. Like I draw for fun and don't need notes to be happy with a piece but also I need ppl to view my art and be curious and ask questions because while I may not desperately need approval I do desperately need excuses to gush abt the things I like
#rat rambles#oni posting#Im thinking abt the rabbit au clones again#in particular the two main nails clones I love them sm theyre so silly#we have guy shaking and crying while internally actually being rly relieved and guy smiling and laughing while being plagued by the Horrors#I should probably give them nicknames but idk what would work best#but yeah the older one is the one whos chip got damaged and is stuck pumping them full of stimulants and hasnt slept in 3 months#and the younger one has been spending the past three months spending day and night at gravitas working their ass off#it wasnt until they got hit by a rly intense wave of fatigue that they were finally pushed into actually going home to rest#at which point the older one was like yo whats up I didnt expect that to actually work lol#things are initially very chaotic after that since younger nails just found out a Lot and older nails didnt rly have a plan for this#they were basically just finishing up a project a past nails clone started since they had nothing better to do#at first it was because they were hoping it could maybe disable their own malfunctioning chip but as the days turned into weeks they#swiftly realized that even if it could disable their chip its probably already far too late for that to save them#and even if the months of no sleep didnt basically instantly take them out there would still be a half broken neural chip in their brain#which likely already had caused complications that they just havent noticed because of the everything else going on#so while they still finished up the project it became a much more half hearted ordeal that they honestly werent expecting to work#but evidently it did leading to the awkward experience of explaining to someone that they're a clone#younger nails hadnt necessarily suspected anything to that degree but they had noticed that smth was off#which is part of the reason they spent so much time working in an attempt to ignore it#so the revelation actually helped somw things click into place and while it wasnt good news by any means it was kind of a relief in a way#not in the sense that now they are in active danger of dying at any time but yknow#they both die eventually ofc but yknow at least they get to be povs of sorts#I mean not much they could do to do anything abt their situation even if one of them wasnt basically doomed to slowly die already
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icewindandboringhorror · 11 months ago
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I downloaded an app that I think is meant to be used for like, detailed food tracking or something, but I instead really just wanted something with this format (color coded calendar days) so I could put in one single simple entry a day to kind of rate my day overall (based on physical health symptoms).. which..... looking back over it for the new year since when I first started tracking.. 9 "good" days in about 9 months, so roughly one good day a month LOL...
#A neutral/yellow day is if I felt sick or had any symptoms (nausea. joint pains. headahces. etc.)#to a distracting degree for at least an hour or more at any point in the day - YET it was not so severe or so distracting#that i was completely unable to get anything done. An orange day is if I was so sick or felt so bad#that I completed absolutely nothing that day because my primary focus was basically spending the entire day on whatever#was wrong with me or recovering from that. And a green day is a day that - even if maybe i had a few aches or pains - I was never any#noticable or distracting amount of sick - PLUS - i also got a reasonable amount of things done.#If I don't feel very sick yet I also lack the energy or mental wellness to complete daily tasks then it still counts as a yellow day.#So I guess like.. Yellow is if health was ok but focus was bad OR focus was okay but health was distracting. Green is BOTH focus and#health were mostly okay for a majority of the day with no major setbacks. And Orange is zero focus whatsoever because health is too bad.#There are also 5 categories. the worst is a super dark red and then best is a super bright green but I don't like using them#You have to select a bright red (x_x) emoji face to classify your day as dark red. and I dont like the implication of a 'dead' person face#because of my ocd lmao... it makes me afraid it's some habringer of death (if I select it for that day then somehting terrible will happen#the next day or whatever lol) *** *** *** - so I never use that one. I also feel like the MOST extreme categories should be reserved for#super extreme circumstance like.. I would only do a dark red day if I was literally hospitlaized or something. And same with the bright#green days like.. that would imply I guess that i was both suuuuper productive ANd had basically no symptoms at all all day. like a#Very Very Good day. and I just think that's not even possible. no day ever goes by without me feeling at least a little sick or achey at#SOME point lol... A day with NO headahces or issues or etc would be.... wow... mythical occurence..#I have definitely gotten worse as I got older but even at like 15 or 16 years old I used to take ibuprophen a ton (I dont anymore of course#for stomach reasons lol) and remember having various minor problems here and there I was bothered by a lot#AAANYWAY.. also I count 44 'bad' days ghb... that's losing like.. at least one entire month of time a year.. maybe this is why I have so mu#much trouble getting things done and finishing my projects. BUT thats the point and why I wanted to track that. to like.. see it all laid#out at the end of the year. Maybe I could even compare years. Even though I started late in 2023. It'd be interesting to have a#yearly record of how many good vs. bad vs. neutral days I had in any given year.#(app is called 'Moodflow' on android phones. in case anyone sees this and asks. though I cant vouch for it or any of the features or anythi#ng since.. again. i literally ONLY use the one single feature of rating calendar days. I look at nothing else on there. And I keep my data#off and phone in airplane mode basically at all times so I never get ads on apps. Sometimes i'll mention liking some puzzle game or somethi#and then someone else is like 'yeah i love it but OMG so many ads' and I'm just like.. yeagh.... not for me lol.. but sorry to you. that#sounds annoying certainly..) ANYWAY.. auuugh... a sea of yellow neutrality. better than a sea of orange though. so :'3c
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getoutofmytardis · 8 months ago
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insane that i’m the biggest disappointment of a child for smoking weed but the child that’s emotionally abusive is fine
#i??? do not understand my parents#like ok yes it is bad that my room smells of weed and is messy#but!#feels real fucking weird that my mum gets more upset with me about that than my sister being the literal devil incarnate#and not in a fun way#like dinner last night i literally did not say a single word bc me. just speaking. apparently triggers izzy and i think i literally just#acknowledged a joke being made and she started her whole. you need to leave. get out. you’re the problem. everyone hates you. shtick#and my mums response is can you just be nice to each other#???????????#GIRL I DIDNT DO A FUCKING THING#I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE CONFLICT AND THE CONFLICT APpArENtLy ONLY OCCURS WHEN IM PRESENT#(it doesn’t. she’s even worse to my mum but mum never. fucking does anything about it#which yeah i do get bc defending urself or literally just saying or reacting in anyway than what The Devil wants you to ends up a mess)#but maybe use two fucking braincells and realise i’m not the worst one here??#i’m actually gonna go insane#also it’s like. lowkey so funny that mums disappointed bc she thinks i haven’t been smoking for months#which i have!! u just haven’t fuckin realised it bestie!! so maybe the reason i am being depressed and useless rn is related to uhh the#fucking demon that’s living in the house again???#not because weed is so evil and brain rotting??#also like i do completely get how silly of me it is to blame everything on my sister when i am aware that my mum hates me smoking weed and#i shouldn’t get a free pass just because my sister is worse than me#but also.#i would like a free pass:(#basically! i should move out lol#but unfortuately i have spent all of my savings#can’t wait to spend 12 hours in the car with all of them tomorrow!!#ah you know when u look back at the times you were gonna kill urself and wish you just fucking did#vent post
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guinevereslancelot · 9 months ago
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just ordered some suspiciously cheap plants <3
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ectoplasmer · 1 year ago
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i miss my boyfriend (he’s in a completely different world than me)
#spookyshipping#it’s like he’s away at war but like for Forever#oh i don’t. i don’t like that phrasing actually#just made my yearning like fifty times worse agh#i know i have my brain and ~imagination~ to think of things and imagine being with him but#sometimes i wish my brain would be nice and let me actually dream of him#i think of him every day. i swear i spend most of my day just thinking of and imagining him#but i’ve only ever dreamed of any of my f/os (interacting directly with them) once#it was a dream about ryou. it was nice. we were on a bus and we just talked and i felt so happy but sad when i woke up lol#i just. feel like dreaming is the closest i’m ever going to get to being in the same space as him in a way that is. tangible?? i guess#it’s difficult to think of how i’m never going to actually like. have that i guess#i can put aaaall my love and care into something and it won’t magically become real sadly u_u#i’ll keep loving him though of course#i don't think i could ever stop really#i hope there’s a way he can feel all that love i have and feel for him from wherever he is#it’s that way for all my boys but especially for ryou#with how many people he’s lost and maybe that unintentional exclusion he goes through#i hope he knows he’s cared for even outside of his own world#that someone thinks of him a little more than she probably should lol#siiigh need to. stare at a prompt list or something and doze off while thinking about him more#goodnighttt tumblr#delete later
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