#maybe I should do the latter in all honesty

[quibbs126]

So I actually did end up figuring out an idea for how these guys reproduce last night as I was going to sleep, I just didn't feel like going down to post it

It will mean having to redesign them though, if I want it to work like I made it

Okay so basically, the idea is that these guys can uncover their cores and bring them close to one another to share energy. This can be done to give one a needed boost, or just to show intimacy. But also on occasion, the two cores can share energy to a particular point where one is filled with enough to start forming a new core, which over time, eventually grows and comes off of one of the originals. It basically works like budding in that sense

But also, around that core, metal is formed to create a new being, which when the core creation is complete, basically ejects from one of the original beings to become its own person

I really do need a name for this species, don't I?

But yeah so basically, in my brain, now the core is within the chest of these people, and normally covered on all sides by their chest acting as a protective shell, not being outwardly visible. Though they can uncover it if they choose to (or need to for whatever reason). The interior of the chest is mostly hollow outside of the core and other wires. Also babies are basically only formed within the chest, though I don't think it looks too physically different during that time

At least at first, a new core forming isn't super obvious to the one it's happening to, but it is eventually obvious, with the core taking an irregular shape and possibly changing color

When one is forming, the person with it also has to get more energy, but more importantly new metal, so that the new life can fully grow. New metal tends to be the more difficult of the two to find, but if there isn't any, then the original is going to be left with a chunk of vital metal missing, or the kid isn't going to have enough to be properly created

Also whichever one this happens to is completely random, there's no specific gender involved. This might also happen to someone entirely on their own if they happen to get a particularly strong increase in energy in their core

I'm also thinking that maybe the one who has the kid shares the same metal color as them, since they were the one the metal formed from. Which means I'm gonna have to make Howler bronze now

In Howler and Gold's case, since Gold was stuck in a place he was supposed to die in, Howler had a delayed creation, since Gold had limited energy and little access to new metal, outside of the other people in there. She probably shouldn't have survived, but she somehow toughed it out, something Gold might say is a common trait between them, since neither of them should have survived that prison in the first place

I maybe put too much thought into this, while also simultaneously not explaining my process well enough. I need to learn to be more clear and distinct, I tell you

But yeah, now I have an answer to how they reproduce. Probably not the most pressing matter in terms of these guys, but whatever

Okay so I ended up actually finishing off this page today

So do you remember when I talked about wanting to make Legally Distinct Transformers sometime after watching Transformers One like 2 weeks ago? Well I actually did start trying to make their designs afterwards, but then I ended up losing interest. But then listening to the Transformers Prime theme song on loop got my brain a-thinking about these guys again, so I went back and tried to at least make some of the designs in my head

Right now this is what I have in mind for their designs. The basics are that they have solid eye colors (I just shaded them like CRK to give them some more life), skin that's at least the color of metal, which tends to be grey but can be other colors as seen, and also hair. Maybe hair doesn't make the most sense, especially considering they are still supposed to be made of metal, even if it is living and malleable, but listen. When I was originally internally thinking of designs for these guys, golden guy there specifically had long, wavy, luscious golden locks, and I had to keep that. So they have hair now. Also pointy ears because why not

They also have those square cores in the middle that are the same color as their eyes, which is basically supposed to be like their heart/power source

As mentioned, they are still metal alien things like Transformers, and they still have transforming capabilities. I don't know what specifically they transform into though, at least as some sort of alternate mode. They can just transmute their metal at will into other things, like weapons if they so choose. Also most of their world is also made of living metal, so with some reformatting they can turn anything into a weapon or some other object, including severed limbs

So far, I really don't feel like I've gotten distinct enough with these guys, both in design and concept. Also their designs just aren't really that unique or special in any way, just in general. But I don't know, I don't really know what to do with these guys design wise. I think you people know I never really get too weird with my designs, at least not now. It's pretty much just humans and mostly human looking beings. I know I need to get out of that more but I just don't know how

I also want to give them clothes in some way, but I don't know what to do on that front either. They're all naked right now, but that doesn't really mean anything here since they don't really have private parts. At least not yet anyways. I'm not giving them boobs or anything though. But yeah, they maybe wear clothes, mostly because I don't know how else to make them distinct, but I don't know what kind of clothes to give them

Something I'm realizing is with the Transformers, generally what makes them the most distinct is their head/helmet design, as well as what's around their body that's part of their alternate mode. But since I don't really know what I'm doing with these guys, I don't know how to incorporate that

I don't know, I think I should move on to a different topic, I'm just repeating myself on the design front. I don't know what I'm doing and I am not skilled enough to make these guys anything exceptional, even if my brain wants to do stuff with them

I guess we can talk about character stuff? Though granted, we still only have one character named, that being (tentatively) Howler, whom I'll mention later

I've mentioned this before, but basically as a refresher, Purple and Gold here are fighting a civil war, after their people had an uprising against the previous tyrannical leader

Basically the story I have right now is that the two started out very close, at some point joining against the ruling class to elicit change and revolution for their people. Also, they were in fact, gay and in love. But then during one encounter, likely after saving Purple, Gold gets captured by their enemy and basically left to be tortured and die in some horrible punishment place they have or something. I haven't fleshed out the details of this place yet. But it did lead to him getting horribly mutilated with his eye being ripped out and by the end of it, half of his face being basically gone and ripped apart. I have this very distinct vision of him having this red line (same color as his eye) going all the way from the top of his head to at least his neck. Meanwhile, Purple and their other allies tried to get him back but failed, and they rallied more forces and eventually lead an assault on the ruling class in revolution

This is also where Gold came back, having basically done the impossible of surviving that place he got sent to, and also bringing other survivors from there to basically be the cavalry and the two both working together to defeat their tyrannical leader

But they differed when left to decide what to do after, and how do deal with the ruler, Gold's experiences making him more ruthless, leading him to personally execute their former ruler and have some sort of altercation that left Purple with his arm now gone. His yellow one is a replacement he got sometime after this fight

This event sparked the creation of the two sides of this new civil war, with both disagreeing on how they deal with the rest of the ruling class and the structure of the government going forward. But also, for Purple and Gold, who are either the leaders of the movements or people with high standing in both sides, the conflict is very personal, since they both feel personally betrayed by the other

So yeah, basically Transformers, particularly One

I really need to work on making them more distinct from Transformers, I really do. I know I eventually was able to do that with Ralia, but that was over the course of at least two years, and was when I was in junior high, aka I had a lot less responsibilities, and I actually had creative juices back then as opposed to the constant drought of nowadays. Also my attention span is even lower, and I'll probably forget these guys yet again before I do anything meaningful

But anyways, I guess we talk about the last person here, aka Howler?

To be honest I don't entirely know what her name means. I think in my brain she was originally Sparrow or Raven, but then I wanted to change it, and so my brain thought Nightshade, then Night Howler (like from Zootopia), which then just got shortened to Howler. But it's a name, so I'll take it

Note that Purple and Gold are not the characters' actual names, they're just placeholders because I don't have any for them

Basically Howler's whole deal is that she suspiciously looks like Purple and Gold's love child. She's on Gold's side of the war, and is a younger member who's quick and good with knives. Gold also does treat her nicely, though they never refer to each other by a familial connection, but also Gold isn't evil like Megatron is supposed to be, and he's not horrible to the people who serve under him, unless he just doesn't like them. She is also supposed to be young enough that she was born after the war has started, although very early on in its timeframe

In my brain, because it's also for some reason an actual series someone watches, Howler's relation to the two is supposed to be something people commonly theorize/headcanon, but at least at the beginning of the story, isn't outright stated, and I've left it semi-ambiguous in my mind. But I think I'm going with the idea that yes, she is

Also the specific setup is that Purple isn't aware of their relation and Howler maybe hasn't specifically been told of Purple's relation to her, because Gold was the one that had her and this was not that long after their split, so emotions were kind of running high for him and he didn't feel like doing that out of spite

Also don't ask me how they reproduce. I guess it's sexually based on Howler, but I'm not sure I want to think about the whole process of it. They're made of metal, but it's also supposed to be living metal or some sort of metal-like alien substance, so they have some amount of organic-ness to them. But gender doesn't matter with them, or at the very least their concept of gender is different than ours and lets this be a thing

I'm not sure I have much else to talk about, so I guess I'm done here. I just wanted to talk about these guys I suppose. I like them and I want to do more with them, but I struggle with drawing them, or at least making designs of them that aren't just really boring and uninspired

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings for this chapter: none

Word Count: 1452 words

a/n: I'm considering this more of a filler chapter and the next chapter shall be the juicy one hehehehe. :') Enjoy! <3

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Chapter 6

At first, life continued to be monotone for the rest of the boys. The only difference was Mingi’s departure which added further strain on the already overburdened household. Seonghwa and Hongjoong were no longer on speaking terms after the dinner, as Seonghwa demanded Hongjoong to get his mom off their backs but the latter argued that he tried and he didn’t know what else to do.

“Well if you tried harder instead of fooling around with Lila.” Seonghwa accused.

“You’re really playing it like that? You were also hanging out with Lila a lot at one point to Seonghwa.” Hongjoong spat back. 

“Yes and it was a big mistake on my part. She’s not my mate, Y/N is, and I’ll be damned Hongjoong if I lose Y/N because of your negligence,” Seonghwa explained, “Like really, why are you hanging around Lila so much? Don’t you feel an ounce of remorse?”

“I-” 

This was the first time since a week and a half that the two oldest said anything to each other. But Hongjoong was cut off when he felt it - he felt you, and given Seonghwa’s wide eyes and surprised face, he knew he wasn’t imagining things. Both of them were snapped out of their dazes when Wooyoung screamed and there was loud banging and slamming of doors coming from upstairs.

The boys were confused and panicked. They felt you after so long but something wasn't right. It appeared to be like a call for help but they had no idea where you were. And Mingi was still gone too.

Chaos erupted. San paced back and forth, hands behind his back, a worried look plastered on his face. Seonghwa leaned against the window and stared outside angrily. He had a lot of thoughts swirling through his mind at the moment. Meanwhile, on the far end of the living room, Wooyoung and Yeosang sat on the floor with scattered books trying to figure out what was going on. Wooyoung chucking away anything that wasn’t helpful at Yunho’s direction, who alongside Jongho remained quiet but unsettled. Hongjoong sat in a chair with a blank expression.

And then there was Mingi, who stood outside the large mansion wondering if he could just go back to you.

Mingi wasn't sure how this was going to go. In all honesty, he didn't plan to tell them immediately when he got back. The way he considered this unravelling was more like: he might get some dinner first and then break the news over dessert or after dinner. It was a long journey after all. But now that the boys were aware, dinner might have to wait.

"Mingi." Hongjoong's father called from the front door.

He had just arrived to check on the boys and was astonished to see the tall wolf. He wasn’t expecting him to return so soon, but given Mingi’s expression, he knew something happened.

“Why are you standing outside like that?”

“Well…you see…” Mingi started.

Everyone's heads snapped to the front entrance of the mansion when the familiar aura walked in. In the foyer, Mingi stood with an uncomfortable look. He hated attention like this. Maybe he should’ve brought Chan for moral support.

Seonghwa rushed to his side, getting straight to the point.

"Mingi, you felt it too didn't you?" 

Mingi only nodded.

"And!? Where were you!?" Wooyoung chastised. 

"Calm down Wooyoung." Yunho tried to pacify the second youngest.

"Tell that to San. He'll make a ditch on the floor just now."

San stopped pacing and glared at the younger alpha before turning to Mingi.

"Seriously though Mingi, where were you? You left for a week and a half and then suddenly we felt a pull from Y/N?"

Where should I begin? Mingi wondered. He glanced briefly at Hongjoong who eyed Mingi carefully. Deep down Mingi had a feeling that Hongjoong may have already put the pieces together.

"I felt it too…” he began, “And she's okay."

All the other six pairs of eyes snapped in shock and astonishment at Mingi’s bombshell. 

"She's...okay? Mingi did you—" Yeosang started.

"I found her, I've been with her for the past week and a half. She got cornered earlier by some rogues but she's safe now."

Suddenly, time felt like it froze for all of them. Like the slow movement from a sand glass, as the grains of sand leisurely and steadily move down, everything began to stir in slow motion as they processed what Mingi just said.

"You—you found her?" Jongho spluttered.

Mingi only nodded again.

"And? You didn't bother to tell us," Hongjoong vocalised, "What, were you only going to keep her for yourself?"

"Hongjoong." His father warned.

"No, it's a valid question Father. You said you needed time by yourself Mingi, but now suddenly, you’re telling us that you were with Y/N and you didn't notify us. This is how we find out."

"She was always sneaky." Hongjoong's mother condemned.

"NO!" Mingi warned loudly, "Mrs Kim, I have respect for you as you are an elder but please do not even think about slandering Y/N, she's been through enough especially from you."

Mrs Kim scoffed rudely, “How dare you speak to me like that!”

“He’s right,” Mr Kim announced, “There is no need for your input if you don’t have anything helpful to add.”

“You-”

Hongjoong ignored his mother and continued to interrogate Mingi.

"And what about us Mingi? We haven't been through enough? Seonghwa hasn't been sleeping, San and Jongho didn’t leave their rooms, none of us have been able to function. And Y/N didn't even try to communicate with us!"

"And why should she? Mingi asserted, “We never even listened to her when she was here, we weren't there for her, we wrote her and her feelings off every time. Really Hongjoong, are you just trying to run away from the fact that we failed her? Do you not want to take accountability? Is that why you’re running around with Lila?"

Hongjoong bolted upright to tackle Mingi by his shirt’s collar but he was held back by Seonghwa.

“What is it with you all and accusing Lila and I? What, I can’t have a friend to talk to?”

Mingi glowered at the pack’s leader. He had a feeling deep in his gut but he was hoping that it was wrong. 

“We did," Yunho answered, “We did hurt her, and we weren’t there for her. I don’t blame her either.”

"Exactly and comments from Mrs Kim are not helping either,” Seonghwa responded, “She kept pushing Lila time and time again and we saw Lila more than we saw our actual soulmate. And we allowed it, we didn't stop to think that we should make an effort, we just expected Y/N to be there." 

“You too Seonghwa?” Can’t you see that girl-” Mrs Kim began.

"He's right and that’s enough from you," Hongjoong's father commented, "Where is she now Mingi?"

"The human realm."

"What!?" All seven voices boomed through the room.

You were in the human realm? The forbidden realm?

"She's in the human realm and she's running a very successful café,” Mingi explained, “she's got a degree and I'm going back to her."

"Wait a minute, Mingi..." San started.

"I hope you will also decide to come. We all need to apologise. A friend of hers, Chan, he's a wizard and he helped me get here and is waiting for me to come back."

They felt empty. They pushed you away to the point where you built a whole new life without them in another realm. Besides Hongjoong though, the others didn’t blame you - they couldn’t blame you, they were the ones who alienated you from them. All they hoped right now was that you would at least consider forgiving them and give them a second chance.

 Mingi looked at them with his eyes downcasted as he turned to leave.

"We owe it to her."

Meanwhile, you were restless. Any attempt to try and ease your mind proved fruitless. You paced back and forth, fiddled with your fingers and huffed in annoyance at yourself. You decided that maybe a change of scenery would do you good, so you grabbed your jacket and scarf to head out for a bite to eat. Maybe some soup would help. As you made a beeline for your cafe to ensure the security alarm was active and everything was safe and secured, you felt it again.

The magnetic pull just like the night when Mingi arrived. Looking around, you turned to the large window that always provided a picturesque view of the busy streets of Seoul. 

But this time, on the other side of the window, there stood your eight mates.

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[coconut-dreamz]

you're losing me

'how long can we be a sad song' || tom blyth x reader

part two

a/n: i felt angsty and i love this song so i wanted to write something based off of it

you say, "i don't understand, " and i say, "i know you don't" we thought a cure would come through in time, now i fear it won't

the fights felt as if they were never ending lately. it hadn't always been this way, but that felt like a lifetime ago. the problems had started when tom began filming for tbosas but they had ceased when filming for it wrapped. but your relationship wasn't the same as it was before. now it was time for promotions and the fights had started up once again.

"i don't understand! why do we keep having to have this fight over and over again!" tom shouted. you scoff in disbelief at his outburst. he didn't know why you felt so insecure and jealous? it wasn't like you had told him at least a dozen times before.

"you know what, just go on your tour alone. i don't want to ruin it with our fighting." you resign, taking your already packed suitcase back into the apartment, away from the door. "you should go, the cab's waiting." you tell him quietly, unable to look up from the ground.

he just sighs, "alright, i'll see you in a few weeks." staring at you, waiting for you to look up at him. " have a safe flight," you look up at him, but refuse to meet his eyes. he just thanks you and heads out the door.

remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

you sat in the dark room of your shared apartment with tom. you had picked it because of the view of the city lights, but now it just felt cold and desolate, like nobody lived here. in all honesty, it hadn't been lived in for awhile. with tom gone for movie promotions, you hadn't been able to be here alone, opting to stay with a friend instead.

you don't know where to go from here. should you salvage what remained of your relationship with tom? or should you scrap everything and start new?

the latter choice had been seeming more and more appealing as of late. you hadn't heard from tom in days. at first you chalked it up to him being busy and the time difference, but you saw he posted a new croissant review and realized he was ignoring you. where had it all gone wrong?

i'm getting tired even for a phoenix always risin' from the ashes mendin' all her gashes you might just have dealt the final blow

you had made the mistake of watching one of tom's latest interviews with his costar rachel. you watched it because you'd missed him, but now that you'd watched it, you wished you just stayed missing him. you didn't miss the way they looked at each other. it'd been so long since you'd looked at each other like that. your eyes were always filled with rage or tears whenever you saw him lately.

you were just so tired of it all. you contemplated texting him and breaking things off. it'd be a whole lot easier that way. maybe the weight on your chest would be lifted. but a part of you didn't want to let go of him. he'd been your everything once.

stop, you're losin' me i can't find a pulse my heart won't start anymore for you 'cause you're losin' me

"how are you baby?" tom asks, his voice cutting through the silence, breaking you out of your reverie. he managed to find some time to call you while on his press tour. "huh? oh, i'm fine. how are you? how's press tour going?" you ask absentmindedly, hearing you ask about tour sparked a light in tom's eyes. he started rambling about the antics he and his cast mates had been up to.

you smiled fondly hearing him talk, until he mentioned rachel. she'd been a sore spot in your relationship lately. the mere mention of her name left a sour taste in your mouth. the grin on your face immediately swept off.

"it's getting late, i think i'm gonna go to bed. i hope the rest of your tour goes well," you fake a smile, trying to hurry to end the facetime call. "oh, i guess it is late over there. i love you, sleep well.” he bids you a goodnight. "love you," you reply and end the call. you bury yourself in your blankets, tired of the emotional turmoil that was caused by your relationship lately.

every mornin', i glared at you with storms in my eyes how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? i sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick my face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

you'd lost the glow your skin once had. it'd became increasingly noticeable to those around you. your makeup artist had to try harder to make it less noticeable on red carpets and photo shoots. but it was all in vain, everyone noticed how you'd looked sickly lately, everyone but tom.

or, if he did, he didn't mention anything about it. "you look great." he complimented as you two climbed into the car that was to take you to the premiere of his film. it had taken your makeup artist a lot longer than usual to do your makeup, having to cover up the blemishes and gray tone of your skin from the lack of care you'd given yourself lately. you’d been opting to lay around in bed, moping.

"thanks," you mutter as the car begins to move. you picked at your nails, something you'd picked up lately to help deal with your nerves. you no longer could have any type of nails, you'd bit them down to nubs lately. but tom didn't seem to have noticed. he didn't seem to notice anything about you lately.

and the air is thick with loss and indecision i know my pain is such an imposition now, you're runnin' down the hallway and you know what they all say you don't know what you got until it's gone

"stop! where are you going?" shit. you stop dead in your tracks, tom was home early for once. you'd thought he wouldn't back for another day or two. "did you hear me?" he makes his way in front of you. you try avoiding his gaze, but it was difficult when his icy blue eyes stared into your soul.

you tried to formulate the words to tell him it was over. "i'm leaving." you finally managed to say. his concerned eyes turn frantic at your words. "what?" he whispers out, grabbing your hand. "you're leaving? why?" you take a breath, you tried leaving when he was gone because you couldn't face him. "things haven't been the same lately. i think we need a break. i'm going to stay with a friend. i'll come back for the rest of my things later. i think it's best if we don't talk for awhile." you manage out, finally meeting his eyes.

what a mistake. his previously concerned eyes were now filled with sadness. you tried moving past him to your car. he grabs your hand one more time, "can you at least tell me what's wrong?" you sigh hearing this, "i think you know why, tom." is all you answer, dragging your suitcase behind you.

how long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life? i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier fighting in only your army frontlines , don't you ignore me

it'd been a few weeks since you'd moved out of your shared apartment with tom. you felt relieved when you had finally walked out of the apartment. it had been feeling less like a home and more like a prison lately. you felt stuck in time in there. everyone around you was moving forward their lives, your friends, family and especially tom, but there you were. stuck waiting around for tom to give you the time of day.

you'd spend too long waiting around for your relationship to go back to how it once was. you'd given that relationship your all but got the bare minimum back in return. you should've called time of death on it months ago, but a big part of you wasn't ready to let go. you had spent your best years with him after all.

and i wouldn't marry me either a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her

you and tom used to talk about the future all the time. laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and giggling about your thoughts on what the future had in store. you told him about your dream wedding and he told you about how he wanted a cozy home with a big yard for your future children.

but that seemed so far in the past. you suppose he changed his mind. who'd want to marry a person who'd give every piece of themselves for someone who won't even bat an eye at them? you'd given him your all in the last year of your relationship, but had gotten nothing in return. all in an attempt to bring back what you both once had.

and i'm fadin', thinkin' "do something, babe, say something" "lose something, babe, risk something" "choose something, babe, i got nothing to believe unless you're choosin' me"

you laid in the makeshift bed of your friend’s studio apartment waiting for tom to reach out. you were aware of what you had told him, but you wanted to see if he truly did care about your relationship.

it hurt to see him happy on set of billy the kid. you followed his castmates and it hurt to see the snippets of him on their stories. he looked so happy and carefree. the exact opposite of how you were feeling and probably looked.

you hoped he was just respecting your wishes of having no contact for a few weeks, but the small voice in the back of your mind was screaming that he didn't care. that he was happier without you, that he was better off now that you were gone.

you're losin' me stop, you're losin' me stop, you're losin' me i can't find a pulse my heart won't start anymore

a constant buzzing woke you up from your deep sleep. you blindly search for your phone. when you find it, the clock shows that it's exactly 12 in the morning. you hit answer without looking at the contact. "hello?" you answer, your voice raspy from lack of use.

"love? it's me, tom. it's been exactly 6 weeks like you said. can we finally talk?"

[rewh0re]

─JULY RAINS ; NAGI SEISHIRO

-fluff fluff FLUFF, nagi realising he might have a lil crush, just nagi falling for you. REBLOGS + FEEDBACKS ARE APPRECIATED!!

Nagi was not the resident lover boy. Everyone knew that, he made sure of it. He garnered interest in a few things, video games and football being some examples. The latter, if not for his best friend Reo introducing it to him, maybe wouldn't even have made it in the list. Nagi found most of the things to be a hassle. It was a hassle to get up in the morning, a hassle to brush his teeth, a hassle to get ready and come to school and get through the day. The biggest hassle of all was falling in love and high school relationships. Nagi didn't really get the logic behind all that jazz but he did get confessions in the form of little notes and homemade chocolates. He hated it, all he wanted to do was ignore them and sleep and that's what he did.

But then Nagi met you. Standing under the shelter provided by the bus stop in the pouring rain, a wet umbrella in your hands. He ran there to take shelter from the rain as well and in the process got wet. Swatting away the water from his hair, he felt your eyes on him.

"This is why you should carry an umbrella," you said, nodding your head at him. You were clearly joking as there was a little mischievous smile on your lips.

"It's a hassle to pack an umbrella," he said looking straight, voice as flat as ever.

"It’s a hassle to pack an umbrella?" Your head rolled back in laughter as you repeated his words in a question. Your reaction achieved a pout from Nagi and you thought he looked absolutely adorable in all his puffed out cheek glory.

"My bag becomes too heavy," his explanation was dry, not providing much information.

You smiled in reply, not really understanding this strange boy who found carrying an umbrella during the rainy seasons a hassle. You let it be, deciding that it wasn't really your concern.

"You go to my school?" He looked at the uniform you were wearing and then at his as if to check if they were the same. They were.

"Yes Nagi Seishiro I do go to your school," you chuckled in amusement before continuing "we shared a class last year. I won't blame you for forgetting though. You mostly slept and I never actively socialized with any of my classmates."

"I'm sorry," he rubbed the back of his neck, as embarrassment slowly took over him. A pink hue slowly creeped up his ears. You went to his school, were in the same year as him infact and he didn't even know you existed before this.

You laughed again. You laugh a lot, he noticed.

"No, don't be. I wouldn't have remembered either if you hadn't confidently said the definition of socialism when the question was about the functions of the kidney and still topped the class anyway," you grinned at him and he muttered curses at himself as the probably unwanted memory creeped its way up to the top.

"I'm l/n y/n by the way. You know, a formal introduction since we never really met properly," you stretched your hands towards him.

"Nagi Seishiro but you know that already," he took your hand and shook it gently.

Sitting at a bench provided by the bus stop together, you did not realize when the rain had stopped, the gray clouds slowly drifting by to reveal a clear sky. Nagi told you about his cactus, choki and about how Reo dragged him into football. You learnt that most things were actually a hassle for Nagi and when he said that, you laughed again.

Nagi felt a sense of pride wash over him as he made you laugh. He realized that you actually cracked very lame jokes but he found himself breaking into a small smile when you shared them anyway. It was a jolly scenario. Something in Nagi's heart bloomed when you smiled, beating a bit faster than usual.

Nagi was not your resident lover boy and in all honesty, he never wanted to be but seeing your exuberant personality made something in him glow. He found people to be a hassle, but you, with all your energy, didn't count as one, even if you officially met that day itself. Nagi didn't want to admit it was a crush just yet, he was willing to wait but when your bus came in sight, some sort of dejection took over him.

"Well that's me!" You got up from your seat waving at him as you made your way to the bus.

Just as you were about to get on the vehicle, you turned over your shoulder to look at the white haired male, who's gaze widened at the action.

"Hey Nagi, talk to me in school, yea? I'll be waiting!" You gave him a grin that stretched from ear to ear before getting up on the bus as it soon disappeared out of sight.

Your beaming smile was etched inside Nagi's mind as it sent some kind of fluttering sensation inside him. It wasn't long before he found himself smiling like an idiot while sitting on a bench in the bus stop thinking about you. He got up, his smile still intact, as he began walking towards the metro station.

"Fuck."

That was all Nagi Seishiro could think on a rainy July evening after you left, making a mental note to definitely approach you in school.

[ganondoodle]

this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong

and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)

then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty

and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games

its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?

correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former

when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-

im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one

like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?

maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)

i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do

maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine being Itoshi Sae and Itoshi Rin's older sibling.

Imagine one of the hardest things you have to witness was to see your own little siblings grew apart. To think that those who two would often walk side by side, play against each other as you watch by them on the side. It saddens you that you couldn't prevent them from growing apart. Although you knew it was something that only concerns the two of them, who knows? Maybe you could have done something.

Imagine being the older sibling of two promising football player only means that people would constantly be asking you of the two. "Aren't you Itoshi Sae's siblings? Can you please ask him if I could get an autograph?" "Hi, excuse me. You're Itoshi Rin's sibling right? Can I please ask for his autograph" and all sorts of shits in which you can only reply with a raise of brow before saying. "Itoshi? Itoshi who? I have no idea who you're talking about." Or "Mind if you fuck off while I'm asking nicely?" Honesty depends on your mood.

Imagine the thing about being those two older siblings is that. They either don't care about you enough to ignore you, or they are afraid of you enough to avoid you, which is obviously the latter.

Imagine, Itoshi Sae never regrets the words he said to Rin that day, his only regret is that you also happened to be there when it happened. What could you possibly do when you see the two of your siblings saying hurtful bullshit at each other? You give then real pain, smacking both of them at the back of their heads. "If you're going to talk bullshit, do it when I'm not here. Morons."

Imagine being the older sibling only means you should be their to support your little siblings' dream of becoming all sorts of number one in the world. So it should be natural to see you among the crowd of people, most of the time sitting on your designated seat, but they would never forget the glimpse of pride and happiness every time they score a goal as you still sat in their chilling unlike the others who were screaming on top of their lungs. For them, that was the loudest cheer in the crowd as you smiled and clapped your hand.

Imagine, ever since that day. Rin and Sae never really get along as they did in the past. But when it comes to you, it was a different matter. "How are they?" "The doctor says they're stable now, they're resting inside their room." "Are they awake?" "I think, mom and dad are inside." Then there was silence as the two of them waited outside the room.

"Don't you have a game today? In Spain?" You spoke as you pointed the spoon to Sae. "And you, aren’t you supposed to be on blue lock? How did you even get out?" This time you pointed the spoon to Rin. Both of them just stood there glaring at you while you just sat there, with a broken arm, a bandage around your head with wounded lips, eating an ice cream with one hand.

"How the hell did you even fall down the stairs? Don't you have a legs? Just go down the normal way." "You're old, you should know how to take care of your body." As the two of them spoke, you were left speechless with their words. And then you laugh, although it did hurt your lips as well as made your head throb, you couldn't help but to laugh.

Imagine the way you smile afterward before giving them a signal to come close. And as they did, both of them received a good smack on the head. "Talk to me with honorifics, you little punks. You think just because you made a name for yourself means you can casually address me as you?" Looking at your who siblings who can't even apologize as they rub their head in pain, you let out a sigh. "Come here."

Imagine, as they flinch and carefully approached you once again. You lift your free hand and mess with their hair one by one. "Thank you for coming, sorry for making you worry." You know for sure that the relationship of these two were complicated as ever, and yet once in a while. "It's good to see you two getting along." You chuckle as their eyes shaken, their hands curl into a fist.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

[whatsthethinking]

Alignment: part four

Lo'ak x Fem!Reader (Platonic)

➴ Summary: Eywa finally hears Lo’ak’s pleas for her to bring his brother back but instead of a brother, Lo’ak receives howling winds with lashing rain and a warrior… who eats people?

➴ Warning:  brief mention of character description  e.g. height, age and features but it doesn’t impact the story, I will be bringing up height again I think but it’s not an important plot point

➴ Word count: 5.7k

➴ Note: Hiii, sorry this has taken so long to come out. I had been writing and rewriting this for I don’t know how long alongside work, moving house and being ill. Sorry for the wait. I’m not too sure if I even like this but this is the longest I’ve written so far.

This is how I imagine Ao’nung to look >>> I love it

I mentioned in the previous part that Lo’ak commented that y/n is taller up close. I imagine Lo’ak being about 8’2 and y/n being 8’5 (I made heights for everyone, minus the adults).

I got a message about how I personally imagine y/n, I didn’t start writing this with a final look for her in mind, so I created a pinterest to get ideas >>> if you wanna take a look

Feel free to comment or message me if you have any suggestions.

[three] [five]

Eight days. It has been eight days since y/n landed on Awa’atlu. Eight days with no updates from her father. She had been watching the skies for anything but just like the rest of Awa’atlu, the sky was calm. But to y/n it was unsettling.

She was becoming restless with the routine she had slipped into. Wake up, eat breakfast with Lo’ak, worry about her people, avoid Ronal and mend the breastplate. The latter seems to be the hardest because the Metkayina doesn’t have access to the same materials as those on the island. In all honesty, y/n did not need a saddle to return to her home, it was mainly for comfort. But when she thought of leaving, the burn in her chest told her to stay.

She had been thinking nonstop about what could’ve happened or what could be happening. Had her father found the two avatars and dealt with them? Had there been more casualties? If something extreme had happened, surely someone would fly out to find her? It wouldn’t be hard to track her down, considering Rìkxi had taken it upon himself to claim a corner of the island as his own. 

“Let’s do something today,” y/n suggested as Lo’ak walked into her marui with a bowl of fruit in his arms.

Lo’ak paused, sitting down, crossing his legs and putting the bowl next to him.

“Are you asking me on a date?” He smirked

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous? Am I not your type?”

“I hate to say it, but you’re not. You’re a bit too young and you’re not tall enough.”

“My poor heart,” Lo’ak said dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. “I thought we had something special.”

Y/n rolled her eyes at his antics while she sat down opposite him, taking a large melon out of the basket and began cutting it into chunks.

“What should we do?” he chuckled, his hand waving over the basket before picking up a Yovo.

“What do you usually do?” Y/n questioned.

“Hmm well, I was thinking about going for a swim. You can come with. Do you know how?”

“I swim,” y/n replied.

“But are you any good?”

“I won’t drown.”

“Good enough for me,” Lo’ak took a bite of the Yovo fruit and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Well, I’m sure Kiri will swim with us. I can see if Ao’nung and Rotxo would be interested. Tsireya, maybe not, she has plans with some of her… Friends.”

“Friends?” Y/n picked up on how Lo’ak said the word with such disdain. “You don’t like these friends?”

“For the most part, they’re okay but there is one. His name’s K’aung, and he fishes with Ao’nung sometimes. He’s the worst. He used to bully Kiri a lot and now he follows Tsireya around, you’d think she has a second shadow. And I’m sure he watches my every move.”

“Maybe he’s in love with you? You and Tsireya aren’t together, he may think he has a chance.”

Lo’ak’s face screwed up in absolute disgust at the idea.

“How could you say something so disgusting? He makes me feel ill.”

Just as Lo’ak planned during breakfast, the pair went swimming with Kiri, Ao’nung and Rotxo at midday. Kiri informed the group that Tuk wouldn't be joining them. They ran into Tsireya on their way to the ilu but as predicted, she was standing with other Metkayina teens, one boy staring Lo’ak down, y/n doing the same to him.

The ride away from the village went somewhat well. Ao’nung had been taking subtle jabs at y/n which did not go unnoticed by the girl, which led to her riding with him instead of Lo’ak which was the original plan.

“Y/n. Do you know how to swim?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

That seemed to be enough for Ao’nung because, in a split second, he spun around and pushed y/n off of his ilu with a smug smile on his face, which didn’t last long as y/n hand grabbed his bicep, dragging him down with her.

As the two resurfaced, y/n hit Ao’nung’s forehead muttering ‘skxawng’ under her breath before swimming to the closest rock formation with Lo’ak, Kiri and Rotxo following close behind her. Ao’nung rolled his eyes before joining the others. The group settled on the rock in a circle, y/n sat between Rotxo and Lo’ak, opposite Ao’nung.

“So, y/n, tell us about yourself. You have four fingers like these two.” Rotxo motioned to the Sully siblings, “Are your parents or were your parents, sky people too?”

“Sky people? No, a lot of my people have four fingers.”

“How?” Kiri questioned, eyes full of wonder.

“I’m not sure. My grandmother told me that this trait started to appear when she was a child, some think it was before that.” Y/n looked down at her hands and shrugged, “some think it is a punishment from Eywa, while some think it's a gift.”

“What do you think?” Lo’ak questioned, his voice sounding tense

“I haven't really thought about it, my uncle and younger brother are the same so it’s what I am used to.”

“Do you know why?” Ao’nung questioned, seemingly interested in the topic.

“Apparently, Sky people came to our shores in need of help. The old Olo'eyktans allowed them to stay on the smaller islands, in agreement that they wouldn’t interfere with the clans and in return, they were given food supplies and different resources to survive. But then, they started sneaking onto the large islands and into villages, stealing from us. When they were given a warning, they went against it and started using violence. It led to great battles, many islands were scorched, and the Olo'eyktans vowed there would be no survivors. But, there were sky people who didn’t participate in the battles. They lived amongst my people, helping build huts and weapons until they died. Their bodies burned and their ashes were buried beneath the spirit tree. A generation later, children were being born with four fingers and four toes.”

The group around y/n sat in silence taking in what they had heard. Out of all of them, Kiri seemed to be the most invested in the story. The idea of sky people existing on Pandora before her parents was fascinating.

“And… And do you believe that?” Kiri questioned in disbelief and amazement. 

“I’m sure there's some truth to it,” y/n started looking at the group around her, shrugging. “You never know.”

There was a moment of silence before Ao’nung cleared his throat, his eyes shifting between y/n and Lo’ak.

“You two seem close, even though you’ve only known each other for what? A week? You eat together every morning, Lo’ak comes back with nothing but good things to say. Are you two,” he waved his hands between the two in front of him “a couple?” His tone was accusatory.

“It’s not hard to make friends, you know. You should try it.” Lo’ak shot back rolling his eyes, “and y/n isn’t my type. A bit too tall and a bit old for me.”

Y/n nudged Lo’ak slightly, smiling at the memory of the conversation they had that morning.

“How old are you?” Rotxo questioned innocently.

“Eighteen.”

“Perfect for you, Ao’nung.”

“Shut it.” Ao’nung snapped back, a grimace on his face.

“You don’t have a chance bro,” Lo’ak added

“I said, shut up.”

Kiri rolled her eyes at the boys’ antics while offering y/n a smile which was returned.

The group finally settled down on the rocks, some lying down enjoying the peaceful atmosphere, until Lo’ak scrambled to his feet, hitting Kiri in the process.

“Hey! Watch it!” She screamed, swatting a hand at him but Lo’ak took no notice of it as he walked to the edge of the rock before diving over the edge. Y/n sat up as soon as the boy disappeared from her sight. No one seemed to be concerned. She walked to the edge of the rocks and looking down, she saw Lo’ak frantically moving his hands while perched on the edge of a tulkun fin. A tulkun, the only tulkun, she was familiar with. 

Payakan. 

Payakan’s large eye looked away from Lo’ak and up at y/n, making a sound that sounded similar to a greeting. 

“You know each other?”

“Kind of. Payakan spent a lot of time on our shores but then he just left. Nice to see he’s being taken care of over here.”

Y/n eased herself into the water, swimming over to the tulkun and pulled herself up to sit next to Lo’ak.

“The last time I heard anything about him, my brother was telling me that sky people were hunting him.”

At this omission, Payakan dropped his fin slightly, causing y/n and Lo’ak to be dunked into the water briefly.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Y/n coughed, “but that’s what I heard.”

Payakan made a clicking noise and looked away.

“You know about that?” Lo’ak questioned raising an eyebrow.

“Of course, a watcher from my village relaid the information and my brother told me.”

“A watcher? What do they do?”

“Watch? It’s in the name. They survey the skies, above the clouds and report back what they see.”

“What more did they say? What more do you know?”

Y/n paused to think, what more did she know? Her mind darted back to her dream behind the waterfall. It had been a recurring dream, but the ending was still the same.

“Nothing really. A huge fire. Some things washed up on our shores.”

“Right.” Lo’ak nodded. He didn’t look like he was convinced by y/n’s answer but accepted it anyway. He then turned back to Payakan, moving his hands before pointing at y/n.

“What are you saying?”

“Asking if he saw you did anything embarrassing as a child that I could use against you sometime.”

“Oh stop it.” Y/n laughed, putting her hand on the back of Lo’ak’s head, the action making the younger boy freeze at the familiar gesture

“Can I ask you something?” He questioned suddenly, his eyes almost pleading. The older girl nodded, giving him her full attention. This is something he had been curious about, he had heard the other villagers talk about it, trying to come up with their own conclusions. “What made you come here? I know there was a storm and everything but was coming here planned?”

“No,” the older girl responded without any hesitation, “I can’t say being a guest on these islands was a part of my plan.”

“So, why did you leave your people?”

“My father ordered it. I wasn't going to say no, it is my duty I guess.”

“Your father is Olo’eyktan? My dad was… Once. He gave that up to move here. Sometimes I wish he didn’t. I wish we didn’t leave the forest.” Lo’ak’s ears drooped at the thought of his home, his grandmother, his friends… Spider. Payakan made a noise that caused Lo’ak to perk up slightly, “but of course, coming here has been great. I just miss home.”

“You know you can always go back,” y/n started, “you don’t have to be here for the rest of your life.”

Lo’ak paused at her words, he had thought this too. He could not see himself staying in the village forever, he is a forest Na’vi after all, but he had begun to build a life here, the whole family has. He couldn’t leave. His family was here, his whole family. Sully’s stick together and no one can be left behind.

“Wait, we’re off topic. Why did your father order you to leave your people?”

“I was sent to look for someone. Well, two someone’s actually. They had been under close watch for two years, my father instructed that no one was to interact with them, without his permission and with good reason. Before I came, they managed to escape, people were hurt. From what I gathered from my dad. They’re dangerous. They do not have good intentions. So they’re to be found and brought back and then maybe they can be dealt with like how my father intended without the input of others trying to ‘keep the peace’.”

No, it can’t be. Lo’ak face filled with panic and his breath hitched.

“Do you… Do you know their names?” he questioned, hands curling into fists in his lap

Miles Quaritch. Lyle Wainfleet.

“I can’t say I remember.” She lied looking past Lo’ak, hoping he did not detect any hesitation, “Payakan, my old friend. If it’s not too much to ask, will you be able to pass a message on to my brother that I’m okay?” She asked with a smile, Lo’ak’s eyes on her.

“Your brother?”

“He has a specific spot, his thinking rock, Payakan knows it. He’ll pass on the message to my parents.”

The tulkun made a noise of agreement, before slowly lowering his fin, easing the Na’vi into the water before bidding the two goodbyes and swimming off.

“Why did he listen to you? He’s my spirit brother.”

“I’ve known him longer.”

Lo’ak rolled his eyes and splashed water in the older girl's direction.

Tuk skipped through the forest ahead of her parents, her fingers brushing against loose vines hanging beside her. Today, she was going to tend to the ikran while Lo’ak and Kiri were away. This is something she enjoyed, the forest here wasn’t the same, it wasn’t as dense or filled with the same creatures but it was pretty, it reminded her of home. 

Tuk’s skip turned into a jog as the greenery became more sparse and more light flooded in. 

“Tuk. Slow down please.” Her mother called 

“Yes, mum!” She replied, with no change in pace.

As she broke through the remaining trees, a grin appeared on her face at the familiar sight of her family’s ikran. The biggest reason why she enjoyed looking after them was that she wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to have one of her own, so looking after them was the closest she could get.

Hearing her parents appear behind her, she started to move forward, greeting all the ikran individually as she made a beeline to the back of the nesting area the ikran’s made for themselves, looking for the ikran without a rider. Getting closer, she noticed the nest was empty.

Tuk spun around, looking at all the ikran, thinking she overlooked her favourite. But she could never. So she counted again and again.

One. Two. Three. Four… Where’s five?

In a panic, she ran forward, running into her father who was tending to Bob.

“He’s gone!” She shrieked, grabbing her father’s hand, “Seze’s gone!”

Jake looked down at his youngest daughter in confusion, gone? What does she mean by ‘gone’? The ikran hasn’t ‘gone’ anywhere in two years without a lot of bribing. Jake looked past all the ikran to see that Seze was in fact ‘gone’. The urgency in Tuk’s voice caught Neytiri’s attention. She passed her mate and daughter to go to Seze's nest, bending down and placing her hand on it. Maybe there will be some heat that’ll indicate how long he had been gone. With some relief, there was. It was still quite warm which told her they had just missed the creature’s take-off.

Just as she stood up, ready to join her family and calm her daughter, a rumble resonated through the air. It was a similar sound the whole village had heard over a week ago, Tuk was the first to run towards the sound, shaking out of fathers grasp. Without hesitation, he chased after her. Neytiri looked over the other ikran one last time before following.

Making it to the beach, the family was met with a sight they could never imagine. Seze, Neteyam’s lonely ikran, named after Neytiri’s companion who she lost in the war with the sky people, face to face with Rìkxi. Barely any space between them. The latter watched the ikran with fury in its eyes. Seze did not look nervous in the slightest, seeming to be standing his ground against the beast that was more than double his size and much, much stronger than him.

Rìkxi made a sound that sounded like he was taking a massive inhale of breath, his head lifting slightly. His mouth began to open, a rumble omitting from his chest.

“Enough!” A strong, unwavering voice echoed through the gathering crowd

In a flash, the Ash Na’vi their son had become fast friends with, stood between the two creatures confidently, holding her hand up to Rìkxi’s face. Rìkxi gave what seemed to be a final look at the ikran before obeying his rider’s silent command.

Y/n stood between her faithful companion and the unknown ikran, hands raised to show that there was no threat. The last thing she wanted was for Rìkxi to eat the poor creature. Rìkxi looked at the scene in front of him before lowering his head and shuffling back slightly. The ikran behind her nudged its head forward, knocking y/n’s back. The girl turned around to face the ikran, looking curiously as it nudged her again.

Not sure what to do, she looked off to the side where Lo’ak and Kiri had joined the group but kept a distance due to Rìkxi’s presence. Seeing that she wasn’t going to get any assistance, she tried shooing the creature away calmly but it didn’t budge. She looked at Rìkxi over her shoulder and jerked her head slightly up, telling him to return to his part of the island. With a huff, the large beast flapped his wings once, shooting off into the air, unsettling all the sand around them causing those closest to cover their eyes while y/n knew that this action was deliberate.

As Rìkxi left, an older Omatikaya man came forward, his hand holding a smaller child on his left and a woman on his right. Lo’ak and Kiri catching up behind them. The woman touched the ikran’s head, pulling its attention away from y/n, which the girl was very grateful for because was starting to feel uneasy.

The woman stroked the creature's face, before shooing it away. It made a small sound before taking off into the air. Neytiri turned, looking the girl up and down, her yellow eyes studying the girl before her for any signs of danger that could injure her family in any way. Lo’ak stood next to y/n, a smile on his face trying to ease any tension that he sensed.

“Y/n, this is my mother Neytiri and my father Jake Sully. Mum, Dad, this is my new best friend y/n.”

“Nice to meet you, y/n. Lo’ak speaks very highly of you.” Neytiri greeted the girl after a moment's pause.

Lo’ak face seemed to flush a deep blue as his father nodded, also greeting the girl.

“Yes, it’s nice to meet the girl that has been keeping my son out of trouble.” Jake joked, raising an eyebrow at his son, asking him a silent question. Lo’ak’s head shook frantically from side to side. 

Y/n ignored the silent exchange and greeted both parents. Tuk looked up at the girl curiously before introducing herself.

“Hello! I’m Tuk! Your hair is really pretty.”

“It is lovely to meet you Tuk and yours is too!” Y/n smiled motioning to the white beads at the end of the young girl’s shoulder-length hair.

Looking over the youngest Sully’s head, y/n spotted Ronal in the distance. The Tsahik had spotted her and was making her way over, like a predator stalking her prey. Y/n flicked her wrist, her fingers brushing Lo’ak’s arm, the boy looked at her in confusion before following her line of sight.

“I should go and check on Rìkxi, make sure he hasn’t threatened anyone else.” She joked, itching to break away from the family as Ronal got closer.

“Right, yes. We don’t want that.” Lo’ak added stiffly. 

The girl rolled her eyes, bidding farewell to the family as she walked off hastily towards where Rìkxi should’ve hopefully settled. Just as she disappeared from everyone’s sight, Ronal joined the family, a hand on her hip.

“She’s fast.” The Tsahik commented, “Lo’ak, I will be eating breakfast with her tomorrow morning.”

Before Lo’ak could think of a reply, she walked off to join her mate, Tsireya and their youngest daughter.

The Sully’s made their way back to the marui in mostly silence. 

Jake and Neytiri walked in silence and they thought about what they had just witnessed. An ikran greeting another Na’vi it was not familiar with, willingly and refusing to leave?

The sight of the Ash Na’vi girl had taken Neytiri by surprise, there was an air of familiarity about her. Maybe it was the way that she walked, the way she spoke? She wasn’t sure, she couldn’t place it but whatever it was caused her heart to burn with longing. The girl reminded her of someone that was lost.

Jake had seen it almost immediately. Lo’ak had formed a close connection with the older girl, even if he hadn’t noticed it himself, Lo’ak looks up to her. Trusted her. There had been something missing in Lo’ak for a long time and y/n had come along and given him what he needed. Guidance, a support system. Seeing his son in this light had taken a weight off of his shoulders but then that brought on a new thought. Y/n wasn't going to stay here forever and what would that mean for Lo’ak?

Lo’ak head rushed with multiple thoughts at once, y/n’s brief explanation while with Payakan, although he knew that she was withholding some truth from him, he couldn’t find it within himself to feel suspicious of her. And also Neteyam’s ikran. Seze had kept to himself for two years, clearly mourning the loss of his rider but today showed something different. Was this linked to what Neteyam’s spirit meant? 

Kiri on the other hand was silent because she was trying to figure this out, she felt as though Eywa was whispering in her ear. She has a feeling that y/n will be important to the family, it can’t just be a coincidence that y/n appeared on Awa’atlu just days after Lo’ak’s experience at the Spirit Tree and them suddenly becoming the best of friends, the pair also sharing similar physical attributes. Four fingers, four toes and although it is not as noticeable, Kiri could see the faint hairs on the older girl's brow bone. It seemed that y/n had stepped in to be an older sister to Lo’ak, taking him under her wing. 

Tuk was the only member of the Sully family who was actively talking, some of the members chiming in every once in a while to let her know she was listening. She could sense that everyone was deep in thought but she was just glad that Seze was safe and that she met Lo’ak new friend. 

Overall, the whole family had taken notice of Lo’ak’s attitude change. In the week of knowing y/n, parts of his carefree personality had begun to shine through again and it was refreshing to see.

Kiri stopped in her tracks, clearing her throat to get her family’s attention.

"I just remembered I have to do something, I'll be back soon." 

Before anyone could respond, Kiri turned and started to walk in the direction they just came from, as soon as she got to the beach, her walk turned into a jog and that jog into a run.

On her walk over to Rìkxi, y/n was deep in thought. Jake Sully. The man Quaritch had asked … demanded … her father to help him capture so that he could “answer for his crimes.” y/n felt so stupid, why didn’t she put it together sooner “he is hiding amongst the reef people''. Lo'ak had mentioned briefly that his dad was from the stars. Maybe she did know that Jake Sully was here but was choosing to ignore it since she hadn't seen the man in person until today. Out of sight, out of mind maybe?

Suddenly, a shooting pain hit y/n in her chest which caused her to stagger back, almost losing her balance. She quickly composed herself, trying to ignore it so that she could continue her journey but with every step, it became harder to ignore.

Y/n quickened her pace, hoping to reach her destination soon but that plan was thrown to the back of her mind as she stopped abruptly, now feeling lightheaded. She squeezed her eyes closed tightly, clutching her chest while taking a deep breath. Opening her eyes slightly, she could see a few stray villagers staring at her as they passed, keeping a distance but she didn’t expect anyone to help. 

The pain was getting more intense, her vision blurring and the sound of her heart pulsating in her ears. She tried walking again but she could tell that she was staggering off to the side. Taking another deep breath, took a deep breath and clenched her jaw and began walking again. After a few more steps, her knees buckled, bringing her down into a squat, her chin tucked to her chest as tears began welling in her eyes. The burning was now unbearable. She felt like she was choking, drowning almost. She was struggling to breathe, it was like her lungs weren’t working. Every breath she tried to take was painful. 

She wheezed, rocking forward, her knees hitting the warm sand, the hand not holding her chest reaching out so she didn't faceplant. It was too much. She couldn’t even think. Y/n eyes screwed shut again, her mouth opening to scream for help but no sound other than a whimper came out. Her fingers and toes started to feel cold.

The villagers around her decided to take full notice of the scene before them, but they hesitated with the idea of helping the foreign girl. At the same moment, Kiri came speeding into view. Her eyes widened at the sight of her new friend on the floor and worried villagers gathering, not sure how to react.

“Y/n!” Kiri dashed forward, skidding to a stop next to her friend, “What’s wrong?! What happened?!”

Y/n tried to reply to Kirk’s frantic questions but all she could do was shake her head, she couldn’t bring herself to speak. She could barely hear the girl beside her.Her head was pounding. She was seeing flashes of the ocean being lit up by the bioluminescent plants, beside her, an Omatikaya Na'vi breaking the surface of the water with a grin on his face. Lo'ak? No, not Lo'ak. What the hell is happening?

Kiri looked around at the spectators, feeling annoyed that not one of them stepped forward to help her friend. Giving them the fiercest glare she could muster, Kiri tried getting down to y/n’s height, and lowering herself so that she could see her face. Kiri took note of the hand painfully gripping her chest. Had she been in pain all day and no one noticed?

“Clear the way!” Ronal’s voice boomed as she and Tonowari marched toward the small group.

Kiri scrambled out of the way as Ronal dropped down beside her, pulling y/n’s hand away from her chest.

“Get her up, I will treat her.”

Tonowari nodded at his mate, scooping y/n into his arms, the girl in question trying to resist but ultimately giving up once pain shot from her chest down to her feet. Kiri followed trying to speak to the now quiet girl. Tonowari apologised with almost every step he took and Ronal ahead, trying to conclude how she was going to ease this pain. Y/n head slightly rolled to the side as she looked out to the ocean, Kiri noticing her eyes focusing in the direction of the Cove of the Ancestors. 

As the sun was beginning to set, an avatar hopped across the beanstalk, hoping to make it to the other side without falling to his death. The sights of Pandora were absolutely breathtaking, he was used to seeing them but now, in his new body, everything seemed more amazing. The sights, the sounds, the smells. All the spectacular.

“Kid, you need to come back, you’ll miss dinner.” The earpiece crackled

The avatar rolled his eyes, looking around him, placing his finger on the microphone around his throat.

“Yes Dad, on my way.” He replied in a mocking tone, “I’ll be like 10 minutes, tops.”

“You better, or I’ll have to send someone out for you. Again.”

The avatar continued on his jog before he started to scale the many intertwined vines. This would be so much easier with an ikran, he thought but it was still early days. Reaching the top, he leaped across more branches before running through the camp, doing his best to weave between the different humans and Na’vi moving around.

“Seriously again? Watch it!”

“Sorry, Vic!” He called back, almost running into someone else.

The avatar swung the door open to the laboratory and ducked his head to get through the door, and skidded to a stop.

“Right on time.” Norm stated, looking up from his desk at the young avatar, “Go unlink, I’ll plate you some food.”

The boy walked into an empty room and lay down on a large cot. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Norm’s avatar ‘asleep’, hooked up to a machine to keep it hydrated and nourished. The boy shuffled his body, getting comfortable and closing his eyes.

The lid of the link unit opened slowly, the young boy sat up and swung his legs over the edge, stretching his arms.

“Victoria said you ran into her… Again. It’s starting to seem like it’s on purpose.” An older man spoke, eyes not looking away from the screen in front of him.

“It’s not, I swear. I’m having trouble stopping and she always seemed to be there.”

“You need to be more careful Spider. I know you're learning but you need to be mindful about those around you.”

“I know Max, I know. I’ll do better next time, I promise.” Spider replied somewhat sincerely. He was trying to be careful but he also did run into Victoria on purpose.

Max nodded looking back at the screen to check if there were any outliers on Spider’s readings. Seeing that everything was normal enough, he ushered the boy off of the link bed and into the communal eating area where a few of the humans were sitting around talking. The boy spotted Norm at the far end, speaking to another scientist.

Sitting down next to him, he began to eat silently, running through the forest all day has built a big appetite that he still wasn’t used to.

“So, how was it today?” Norm questioned as the other scientist left the table.

“Amazing!” Spider swallowed quickly, turning to face the older man, “I managed to run without smashing my face into the floor.”

“Good. That’s good. You’re getting better. But it’s still early days, don’t push yourself.” 

“I know, I know. I’m being as careful as possible.”

“So, when are you gonna tell Kiri and Lo’ak about your avatar?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t found the right time.”

“You spoke with Kiri yesterday, right? Why didn’t you tell her then?” Norm questioned, raising the fork to his mouth.

“It didn’t feel right,” Spider shrugged, “she was talking about a new friend Lo’ak had made, I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Lo’ak made a friend? Good for him, he had been quite down when I last spoke to Jake.” Max added as he sat down in front of Norm, “Jake had been really worried for him, breaking up with Tsireya hit him hard.”

Spider’s head dropped, he didn’t know that Lo’ak wasn’t dating the Metkayina girl anymore. If he was being honest, he didn’t have any idea about how Lo’ak had been doing for about eight months now. The pair hadn’t spoken to one another and Kiri didn’t purposely bring him up in conversation. It made Spider feel guilty, he could tell there was a strain on their relationship but he was too afraid to face it, he was too guilty. Even speaking to Kiri hurt him, he couldn’t even bring himself to speak to Jake, for fear that he would spill his guts out to the man and the consequences.

It was killing him. He wouldn’t dare tell Norm or Max, they would tell the Sully’s in an instant and he is sure that Neytiri would have his head. Not that Spider could blame her. He wasn’t thinking about the consequences at the time but as the days passed on the island, the guilt was eating him alive and the fear was keeping him silent.

“What do you think, Spider?” Norm questioned, nudging the boy out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“I said, we should try and arrange for you to visit Awa’atlu. You haven’t seen them in person in ages and it’ll be better this time because you have an avatar.” Max explained, a gentle smile resting on his lips, “and honestly, I could use the quiet.” He joked

Spider forced out a chuckle, shovelling a forkful of food into his mouth, running through all the possible outcomes that could happen, being face-to-face with the family he betrayed.

As the sun set and eclipse made itself known, a small group of Txampaysye swam passed through the Cove of the Ancestors and along the base of The Spirit Tree. One broke away from its group and glided off to the left, joining a shimming group of Atokirina’ that was floating peacefully above a glowing mass amongst the swaying plants on the seafloor. 

Slowly, the plants separated, allowing the Txampaysye to lower itself down, resting itself across the widest part of the unknown figure. A moment later, air bubbles began to float upwards. The Atokirina’ floated down and landed on a small part of the figure, and as soon as it did that, the unknown shape flinched before curling into a ball. Slowly, the plants on the seafloor made their way back to each other, hiding the mass from any creature that may swim passed.

Txampaysye - gill mantle, serves as a biological diving suit, feeding oxygen to a bonded Na'vi through their kuru connection/tsaheylu.

Atokirina' - woodsprite, a seed of the Tree of Souls that lives on Pandora (I imagine the Spirit Tree has its own version).

Taglist: @eywas-heir @cvsmic-love @thehoneymushroomhealer @myvath @afro-hispwriter @jjkclub @babyymeme @lovedbychoi @bananafruityawne @dakotali @cleverzonkwombatsludge @jakesully-sbabygirl @audigay @peachycrime @crazy4books1 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @the-lonely-raven @inluvwithneteyam @aihimitsu @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @queenmizuki

[raainberry]

Blue Hour

“The blue hour is the idea that everything is about to end or, on the contrary, that everything is about to start again.”

Jihyo x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - it was only supposed to be a fling

wordcount - 1.9K

T/W - Blood (mentioned (1) once)

A/N - missing the killing me good era😔 i actually don’t know how to feel about this one but i miss my girl so

Twenty to thirty minutes.

That’s how long it takes for the sun to fully rise. To show itself in the morning.

It takes the same amount of time to fully disappear. To hide itself in the evening.

In each case, the moon isn’t too far away. You remember seeing it every time before she showed up.

And every time after she left.

Nature’s schedule is strict. So was her’s, leading the two of you to only meet at night: in between two blue hours.

“It’s a little cloudy today.”

The sound of her voice broke your staring contest with the moon, finding the glow in her eyes to be more interesting. The latter shone brighter than yesterday, you noticed as she leaned against the railing beside you.

Your own smile pulled a little more at your lips as well, excited to see hers again. You’d only part for half a day’s worth every time, yet it always felt like it stretched as each day passed.

“I didn’t get to see much of the sunset on my way home.” She pouted. “Did you?”

She hoped the rooftop of her apartment building had offered a better end to your day than it did hers. After all, the sunrise and sunsets she’d witnessed from here so far were nicer.

You shook your head in response, though, making her frown. “Just a glimpse.”

“Maybe it’ll be better tomorrow.” She said, still hopeful.

Her optimism made you smile. The sun could stop shining for all you cared, she would do its job better anyway. She was one little sunshine, a true ray of light you wouldn’t have dared to approach if she hadn’t done so first.

“I doubt it. Fall is coming soon.” You reminded, but she shrugged, looking at the darkening horizon with the same spark in her eyes.

“The sun still sets during Fall, don’t be so depressing.”

“But it’s not as pretty.” You pointed out, pulling her eyes to you.

Maybe that’s what you were looking for, she realised, giggling at the sight of a familiar smirk on your lips.

“And what if I’m there?” She asked, grinning and posing with a hand under her chin for you.

She fluttered her eyelids, giving further into her own banter; her grin warm, playful and inviting as she urged you to join her point of view.

You couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, giving in to the harmless corruption with a soft kiss on her happy lips. She managed to steal a few more from your own, smiling into each one despite having to chase them.

When you managed to pull away, she pointed fun at your flushed cheeks, something you expected by now. You sported the shade proudly, her teasing never bothered you, but sometimes you did wonder how she managed to turn you into such a mess.

Maybe it was because things were still recent between the two of you. Or maybe you were just too far gone and—in all honesty—too down bad for her.

Either way made sense, so you never bothered to look further.

“Why do you still blush like that, we’ve been doing this for weeks, you should be used to it.” She teased, but her words landed in a different tone on your ears.

They made you think.

For weeks, you repeated…

“I am, that’s the problem.” You slipped out just under your breath. It was too late to retain the words, so you tried to keep them out of her ears.

It’d been weighing on your mind for a bit, how uncertain your relationship with Jihyo has been.

Whatever was going on between the two of you, it wasn’t exactly conventional anymore.

It was, only until about three weeks ago, when it was all supposed to end. You should not have seen her face past August 31st. That’s how flings worked. How summer flings worked at least. Or how you thought they worked?

You weren’t really sure of anything regarding love and affection. Relationships had taken a whole new meaning the second she laid her lips on yours that one night at the bar.

The feelings, the thoughts, the moments… It was all new.

She was new.

Maybe infatuation was the right word at the time. Now it just felt weak. Unqualified. Wrong.

You couldn’t tie the bond you’d developed down to such an ephemeral idea.

Not when your feelings for her settled in your heart with intentions so far out of field.

“The problem?” She repeated after a while.

Way to ruin the mood, you mentally congratulated yourself.

“What exactly is the problem, Y/N?” She asked, holding onto your sleeve with a couple fingers.

A timid and discreet gesture that didn’t go unnoticed. Your eyes fell down to her hand, and you couldn’t help but feel some of that hope she’d showcased minutes before.

Meeting her eyes again, you noticed the spark was gone, replaced by a clouded gaze similar to the blue sky above. It seemed heavy. Not as dark, only busy.

Was she worried?

“I just… Don’t know where this is going. That’s all.” You tried to shrug it off, pulling your hand away to get the sleeve out of her grip.

The busy streets below kept an awkward silence away from the two of you, allowing you to feign interest about their noise and random happenings.

The distraction could have been sweet if only it weren’t from your own mind.

It was hard not to think it all over. It was hard to focus on the rational part of it. The one telling you to leave tonight before getting hurt more than you already were.

It was hard because of how loud the other part was.

The one happy with just a glance from the woman beside you. Happy with just standing next to her. Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. Satisfied with her kiss, her touch… As long as you learned more about her.

More than you should.

You sighed into the night, feeling your rationality push through.

“Would it make you feel better if I said I don’t know either?” She broke the silence.

Your eyes found her again, catching her smiling down at her own hands. That smile seemed heavy as well, as if she was forcing it out to avoid any other reaction.

“Not at all.” You said truthfully, causing a chuckle to escape her lips.

You didn’t understand why, especially when her eyes started watering instead of just… crinkling in joy.

Her teeth suddenly pulled on her bottom lip, nearly drawing blood as she tried to find words. The right ones. Ones that would make you stay even longer.

Her lips alone weren’t enough for that anymore.

“But… Don’t you want to figure that out together?”

A breath caught in your throat. Then another, after a second. It felt as though you didn’t know how to breathe anymore. Like her question shook much more than your heart.

You looked at Jihyo once more, hoping it would fix it like it did everything else, but her focus remained on her own fingers.

“I know I want to.” She said, picking at her nails, a giveaway of her nerves. “I just thought it was obvious.”

Her eyes finally raised to meet yours, sadness written all over the smile she tried to send you.

“Do you actually?”

Your voice came out a whisper, and it didn’t surprise you. You weren’t sure you wanted to know her answer to that question. You gave her a chance not to hear it. To get away and break the rules with no consequences for a little longer.

Truth was you’d let her.

“I think I like you.”

There it went again; your breathing.

“You think?” You chuckled, but only to fight the tears suddenly pooling in your eyes. “Jihyo, I can’t do this anymore.”

You stared out ahead, your gaze landing on nothing and everything all at the same time. So many lights, buildings, so many trees and people… Yet nothing registered.

All you could process, all you could feel… It emaned from right next to you.

The skies above reminded you of it. The familiar blue drowned its details as time deepened its shade. You watched it happen so many times with her you could blindly tell the time.

08:10pm.

That’s when she decided to take your hand in hers, pulling you away from the overwhelming sights.

That’s when you felt the warmth of her hands against your cheeks as she made you look into her eyes instead.

You focused on the lights reflecting in them instead, trying to avoid her thoughts. They could hurt.

“Tell me something, Y/N…” She trailed off, her eyes desperate for even a sign of your focus on her. “Do you regret any of what happened between us?”

“Yes.”

You watched silently as the effects of your answer painted her features.

They tensed up. Eyebrows lowered, lips narrowed, yet eyes watered, holding a sense of hopelessness you witnessed for the first time… It was messy. As if even she didn’t know how to feel.

You, however, could tell.

She wasn’t angry. She was exasperated. Frustrated.

“Can you feel it too now? Do you see why I regret it?”

You should have known she wouldn’t answer the way you wanted her to.

You knew she was stubborn.

You should have expected her lips on yours.

Just like you knew you’d melt into them with a single kiss despite yourself.

Your will never mattered when it came to her. You always ended up folding to hers, giving into a second kiss before intiating the third one.

And you rarely pulled away first.

“Why?” You practically begged through breaths she’d stolen from you.

The gentle brush of her thumb against your skin, the warmth and care she seemed to hold in her eyes for you, the silent words you could make out in them… It almost made you break down right then and there.

It all suddenly became so obvious.

“Because I like you.” She smiled.

It was bright again. It made you believe her a little more, although you still weren’t convinced.

Maybe she sensed that, as she wasted no time to argue her point.

“That’s why I’ve been making excuses to keep seeing you.”

“My flight back was delayed, can I stay at your place?”

“The company’s letting me choose the flight date and I don’t actually have to go back to work for another week…”

“Can we stay friends? I’d love to just hang out with you. Maybe come see me in Seoul some time?”

“It just happened, let’s just put this on reunion excitment.”

“Yes, friends don’t kiss each other. But friends with benefits do. So no, it’s not weird.”

Maybe they were not all excuses. Some you definitely had a hand in. Yet you remained clueless for some reason.

Love really makes you dumb.

“I thought you were playing me.” You mumbled.

“Then you don’t know me at all.” She said, amused.

“That would be because I wasn’t supposed to.”

“Yet you learned to, didn’t you?”

You nodded, looking down in embarrassment. You couldn’t help but feel ashamed of the drama you’d caused.

You scolded her for not being honest, but you were just as guilty.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled again. “This is all new to me, I guess I freaked out a little.”

Your confession caused a few giggles to escape her lips, to your delight. The sound made you smile as you admired the happiness radiating from her features again.

The intensity of your emotions made it feel as though it had been months since you last had the chance to.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. My intentions could have been a little clearer.” She admitted. “I want to date you.”

You chuckled at her small clarification, finding the moon in the dark blue sky again.

It shined a little more. The blue was turning into its darkest shade yet, as the day finally left room for the night.

The blue hour was over, and it made you smile.

You had all night to spend with Jihyo. The woman holding your smiley cheeks so softly in between her hands.

For the first time since you met her, you couldn’t wait until the next one.

Because this time you won’t have to forget about her once the sun comes out of hiding.

[yzeltia]

FFXIVwrite2024 18. Hackneyed

Featuring: @scrollsfromarebornrealm Weird West AU Characters: Themis, Rrahnald Chai (U'rahn Nuhn), Fordola Lupis Expansion: Endwalker Rating: T Summary: Rrahn arrives at the total honesty part of his relationship well before Themis. Notes:

“In the same fleeting moment thou shall live, die, and know.”

Themis closed his tome and looked out into the sparse congregation only having a handful of the elder townsfolk in attendance along with Claudien Hephaistos in front nodding reverently along and Rrahn staring dreamily at him with Fordola beside him at the back. He felt the side of his mouth twitch, wanting to smile; however, kept his even composure. “Now, let us bow our heads and give thanks to the Mother and Father,” he said, closing his eyes and lowering his head.

The room fell into quiet murmurs and shifting, many going to their knees, Fordola among them. Rrahn squirmed a bit then joined his friend, settling beside her before leaning over. “What are you wishing for?”

“Wish!? What do you mean-,” Fordola balked before shaking her head and pushing Rrah’s head to face downward, “I’m wishing for you to have some damn sense. Be quiet and sit still if you’re not going to pray.”

“Okay,” Rrahn mumbled, putting his hands together to stare at the floor. “Dear Zodiark and Hydaelyn. It’s me, Rrahn. Please take good care of my family and friends. Also, I would really like a new repeating muzzleloader. Thank you.”

Fordola scoffed then jabbed him in the side before she got back up into her seat. Themis seeing the congregation start to rise, leaned over his pulpit. “Go forth and walk in the light of the Mother and be protected by the shadows of the Father. I hope to see you all this coming sabbath.”

People began to make their way out of their rows, some coming up to shake Themis’s hands and others taking their leave to their homes until only Rrahn remained, smiling at him in his earnest way. He felt his heart flutter, a feeling he’d not felt since he was, well Rrahn’s age. Realizing this, the feeling turned into guilt, having yet to approach the subject of his past with his budding paramour.

Wandering down the aisle, he moved to sit next to Rrahn, the other patiently waiting for him. His hand gently laid over the other’s giving it a small squeeze as he looked up at the dark blue tapestries with white and violet inlay. “How did you like the sermon?”

“Ah, well. It was okay,” Rrahn said, squeezing Themis’s hand back as he sat up to free his tail to wrap about the other’s waist.

Themis blinked, surprised at the other’s lukewarm reception compared to his usual clumsy attempts at flattery. “Only okay? Did you find something wanting?”

“Well. It’s kinda dark and dreary in here and you’re talking about hope and stuff. The townsfolk say it’s kinda spooky here so if you open up a few windows and let the light in. Oh! And then I’d be able to see your handsome face more,” Rrahn explained, scooting his thigh against Themis’s.

“Well, there’s a certain-” Themis started before Rrahn perked up.

“Oh! And you need better songs. They’re all so sad,” Rrahn continued.

“The, ancient, sacred hymns?”

“Yeah Yeah! Those are real downers! You gotta get everyone super excited to be here! Maybe get a whole chorus that can rile up the crowd for you! Put a spin on them!”

Themis stared quietly at Rrahn as he looked eagerly back at him. “You don’t perhaps think the tonality is to be soothed by the Mother’s love and the Father’s sacrifice?” he asked.

“Yeah, but you can be excited about those things too, right?”

A sigh escaped Themis, conflicted as to whether he should feel a bit insulted by the other’s criticism of his life’s passion or happy the other felt close enough to him that he could be so honest with him. The latter was winning out, though that didn’t come with the pangs of guilt.

“Ah. So um…we’re all alone now and more modestly dressed. Do you think we could maybe exchange a few smoochies,” Rrahn asked, waggling his eyebrows as he drew. 

Themis recoiled, standing up while untangling the tail around him.

Rrahn fell forward, catching himself in the pew before looking up at Themis as he held himself. What’s wrrrong?”

 “I think you might benefit from the chapel’s intended use instead. Quiet, self-reflection,” Themis said before moving to start blowing dark flamed candles around the room.

“There’s no mirrors in here though,” Rrahn said, watching Themis pause, hang his head, then return to what he was doing.

[box-architecture]

which are the aus You have more on your ming latetly?

A mixture of them!

I'm staring at the Dreambur AU I have (Strangers Vassal) and wondering if I should post what I had planned for it to look like. I'm struggling a lot with writing it, partially because I don't have a lot of people to bounce ideas off of, partially because it's an AU that would have a lot of fight scenes, something I don't have a lot of experience in and am unsure how to proceed with.

I really enjoy the concept of it, and I want to write for it, but it might once again turn into a bunch of shortfics in a series rather than the longfic I originally wanted. It's disappointing that I can't seem to consistently write longfics, but if I don't accept the limitation I might risk not getting anything done at all, and that's potentially more disappointing.

The Communication Knife AU is almost always on my mind. It's evolved from just pure demons and rotations to being a huge comfort that I can just idly think about throughout the day.

It's really neat, because I started out as a Dream-centric multishipper who wasn't sure if I could vibe with Punz and Sam closing the triangle, but after marinating in the idea, it's now really important to me that they become something too. They grow from two people fighting around their relationship with Dream to something based on trust and blunt honesty and Forgiveness Withoit Forgetting. They can be deeply affectionate with each other in a way thats different from their relationship with Dream. Not bad, not in a way that excludes him, just different.

The AU has also tentatively opened me up to exploring 2nd Gen characters, something I've literally never been capable of before. I have a lot of vague ideas for who gets together post-main story, and how those relationships works and why. Ponk/Foolish/XD is a ship for example, and I've designed a possible child for them? As well as designed Fooshs Totem children? It's always a maybe for if I actually want to give people kids, and it's not really the point of CKAU, it's just really fun to explore the rest of the smp in this sort of fix-it au and how it impacts their lives in the After of it all.

It's also helped me expand my Minecraft Lore and Worldbuilding Bible (how in my headcanon the mineacraft world works and its history/lore, including tying other media's like Hermitcraft and Maricraft to the dsmp to make everything part of the overall world.)

Writing CKAU post-story had also, ironically, made me enjoy benchtrio more, as I get to talk to my friends about their interpersonal dynamics and how they work and how they end up finally at peace. Especially considering Tubbo and Ranboo are bitterly divorced for a long time.

I had a lot of small ideas for a DNB Mass Effect AU in a similar vein to To Tear Asunder being my Dragon Age AU, but I feel really guilty getting into that when I haven't even finished the Philza fic or the Techno fic I have for the latter. I have significantly less people to bounce ideas off of for To Tear Asunder, which is why I struggle with it sometimes.

A lot of my writing in the beginning was done through utilizing my manic moods, but now that I'm better medicated/no longer constantly manic, it's led to me going a lot slower with writing. Demons (PWP stuff) are a lot easier to write, because they require significantly less scene set-up when I can use the sexual act as a template, and being horny-brained isn't particularly difficult.

(Also. No Plot Nessecary. Hence the Porn Without Plot. Plot is really exhausting to write sometimes.)

Obviously it's a lot better for my health that I'm no longer manic, but it's still disappointing that I can no longer work myself into a tizzy and write 30 pages of something (before collapsing and being unable to do anything at all for the next several days.) Give and take and all.

I briefly was very insane about Benchtrio fucking Dream in various ways. I made a whole Teacher/Student AU about it that's in my drafts, god willing I get my new laptop and can finish that up. I really enjoy CNC and bodice ripper type stuff, so it's pretty fun to explore crack AUs where Dream is just trying to be normal and the 3 most abnormal people in the world come into his life.

I'm not really a fan of the Tommy/Dream dynamic where Dream is preying on the Poor Helpless Child, especially because it has a habit of taking itself Very Seriously. I'm not looking for serious and dark and the villainization of Dream. It's a lot more fun for me to explore a strong, confident, and very tired 20-something desperately trying to figure out how to deal with the 17-18 year old being horny on main. Also it's just really interesting to me when the younger character takes advantage of normal social and power dynamics and subvert them so they can have the older character sub.

^I'm not sure if the explanation there is perfect or makes sense but I'm always happy to try to talk more about it if you'd like.

I have a little more of the Warden Hybrid!Dream type stuff in my head that I wanted to write out, mostly just a lot of Porn With Minimal Plot for purely kink reasons. I also have a Dream/Ravager fic I'm supposed to be posting, but God only knows when I can finish it. I need zoomies.

[coffin-contemplator]

❝one of drunkards & regrettable decisions❞ — 𝒶 𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉, part I

Summary:

“‘Since when do you smoke, anyway?’ The agent clears his throat. ‘I quit, actually.’”

Please note! This is the first part of a trilogy, still currently in writing.

Sitting at a bar is something he hasn’t done for a long fuckin’ time and yet it’s definitely not nearly as relaxing and enjoyable as many people claim it to be. Who knows, though, maybe it all depends on the company you find yourself in. Certainly, whom he “chose” (if having no other option still counts as a choice, indeed) as tonight’s co-drinker doesn’t work miracles on his strained nerves in the slightest. 

“Why do you always look so serious, Mister Special Agent?” The query catches him off guard as, in all honesty, he suspected the other man to be too preoccupied with his constantly refilling glass to pay him any mind. “Y’have a stick stuck up your ass or s’mthin’?”

The per cents in the man’s drinks have audibly started taking a toll on the user. Strahm catches every slur that reaches his ears. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” he replies sarcastically after a short while of considering whether he should even bother. “Maybe… Hmm, maybe it’s because I’m constantly surrounded by deathly traps and moronic sociopaths?” The way he spats out the words conveys all the confidence possible to muster (and it should be noted that Agent Strahm has a pretty abundant supply). And yet they’re all but truthful—lying just to hurt people isn’t something his moral compass forbids. 

He’s seen a fair amount of those previously mentioned in his time and in all fairness, the latter just doesn’t fit the description. Some traits fit, of course, but the entirety paints a completely different picture. 

As per usual, his companion doesn’t actually look bothered by Strahm’s foul mood. Even more so, the agent isn’t sure whether the other man is even listening anymore. 

“Fair point,” Hoffman mutters but it’s rather dismissive. “Want ‘nother one?” He points eloquently at Strahm’s glass, still half-full.

The older doesn’t get the chance to answer before the barman is already pouring more scotch in. 

As much as the agent hates to admit it, that’s one of the very few things that he finds impressive about the detective—the bottomless pit that his stomach turns into when it comes to alcohol.

Not that Strahm feels jealous, though. He’s just curious as to how it’s even possible for Hoffman to still own a functioning liver. Who knows? Maybe if he killed the man and donated his corpse for science, he would earn himself a fair amount of money for discovering a biological phenomenon.

The agent’s hand involuntarily falls into the pocket of his suit jacket, searching for something. Before he fully catches on, there’s a cigarette between his lips and a lighter found by the other palm. 

Surprisingly, this earns him a strange look from the accompanying detective. “You sure about that?” He asks, and again, this time he shocks Strahm with the clarity of his tone. 

The FBI agent raises an eyebrow. “It’s not like there’s a ban in here.” 

“Obviously, it’s a bar.” How the one connects to the other, Strahm’s unsure of. “But the smell ‘s annoying,” the last comment is spoken way quieter than the rest of his statements. 

“»Annoying«?” Strahm repeats with amusement, an unpleasant smirk now playing on his lips. “So the odour of burning bodies is fine but a bit of nicotine has you all worked up?” 

“Shut the fuck up, ‘s not what I said,” Hoffman hisses, then downs the rest of yet another glass just for a good measure. Or maybe it’s to calm down. Perhaps both. 

The lighter still in his hand, the agent plays with the idea. This newfound button might be something worth pushing in the future. 

“Since when do you smoke, anyway?” One more glance at the detective and Strahm decides against his previous idea. As rough as the drunkards are expected to appear, this is something else—a completely different level of mess manifestation. 

The agent clears his throat. “I quit, actually.” With that, he drops the fav back into the depth of his jacket. The lighter stays as a means of occupying his restless hands. 

Jigsaw could’ve put him into any of his worst, rigged traps and Strahm still would not admit he felt a pang of guilt while staring at Hoffman’s expression as his eyes perceived the small nicotine stick. If anybody asks him, he just doesn’t really feel like smoking right now, actually. Change of mind, change of heart, that’s all.

He’s also pretty sure his companion, despite the intoxication, managed to catch how quickly Strahm’s attitude changed. Either way, neither comments on it anymore, both opting for semi-tense silence. 

Drinks continue to flow for a good while but Strahm finds himself no more than tipsy as he’s getting through them slowly, more focused on the terrible taste rather than anything else. All the meanwhile, Hoffman seems to be spiralling more and more—something the agent thought would end around three glasses ago. 

The idea of leaving crosses his mind a few times at this point and yet he doesn’t. He’s not sure what that might be but something is definitely keeping him glued to his seat. 

A disruption in the stillness of the atmosphere eventually comes along with the sudden appearance of a stranger. A middle-aged man, making an impression of being neat and probably wealthy finds himself at Strahm’s side without him as much as catching on in time.

As the stranger starts speaking, however, his motives become embarrassingly clear. Strahm finds himself being awkwardly flirted with. But at this moment of the night, he can’t even bother with a polite smile. His expression stays stone-cold as he nods along to the stranger’s infirm monologue. 

He doesn’t really mind that much—at the very least his brain perceives the “interaction” as some kind of stimuli.

His companion, of whom he might have started forgetting a little bit, doesn’t share his indifference. 

“‘Ey, duffer!” Hoffman’s voice is loud enough for the stranger to involuntarily look up at him. “F’ck off, wouldya? This bastard’s not interested.”

The stranger blinks at him. “Sorry,” he smiles politely, even though for every sober eye it’s clear that the expression is forced. “But I don’t think you get much say in that.” 

Strahm can see the putty in the guy’s eyes—he’s clearly not intimidated by the detective. The agent entertains himself with this thought… People underestimating Hoffman, even when he’s in that kind of state, is exactly what leads to tragedies later. 

Despite his better judgement, he allows himself a small smile, before addressing his companion and therefore effectively cutting off both of the men who are still going at it.

“No need for hostility, darling,” he shoots over his shoulder with no small satisfaction for being able to use that pet name he knows Hoffman absolutely hates (or does he?). Turning back to the stranger, he looks him dead in the eye. “I believe, this man was just about to leave,” he informs. 

The guy looks at them both, surprised, before awkwardly stumbling to his feet, apologising and getting as far as he can, as quickly as possible. Strahm briefly wonders whether the stranger thinks himself guilty for misreading the situation but it’s not like he cares enough not to forget about the query right away. 

Well, there goes the last bit of tonight’s amusement, then. Although, the outcome turned out way more interesting than the agent would have anticipated. 

He turns back to the bar and—simultaneously—to his glass still containing remains of alcohol. He grabs it and holds it up by his lips, as if considering something, before finally making up his mind and finishing the drink. 

Here’s to that guy surviving the nearest future, then, he thinks to himself while settling on boring holes in his partner’s profile.

────── ⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧ ──────

A/N: Thank you so much for stopping by! Hope you've enjoyed!

[onecornerface]

The "epistemic effects" argument for drug decriminalization

One of the many under-theorized & under-investigated arguments for drug decriminalization (of possession + use, at least most obviously) is what I might call an "Epistemic Effects" argument. Prohibition causes or exacerbates many bad epistemic effects, pertaining to drugs, drug users, and drug problems. Decriminalization would eliminate or reduce some of these bad epistemic effects, and/or have good epistemic effects.

I have a bunch of ideas for what may plausibly be among drug prohibition's bad epistemic effects. Here are some:

People are broadly secretive about their illegal drug use or drug problems (more so than their legal drug use or legal drug problems, even though the latter often are badly stigmatized & silenced as well). This is for various direct reasons pertaining to criminalization itself (e.g. fear of arrest), as well as indirectly a subset of aspects of social stigma and institutional discrimination (e.g. threat of loss of job or housing) that are caused or exacerbated by criminalization.

And to the extent that people *do* discuss their illegal drug use, this discussion is largely cloistered within subcommunities, and doesn't filter out to the broader public as much as it could.

Moreover, people who are *more* at-risk of arrest or discrimination (such as poor and nonwhite people) are likely less inclined to talk openly about their illegal drug use-- and/or less likely to see their perspectives about drugs filter into the mainstream-- compared to people who are *less* at-risk of arrest or severe discrimination. As a result, it is likely that we have less knowledge or understanding (and more false beliefs and misunderstandings) about (say) poor and/or nonwhite people's illegal drug use than about wealthy and/or white people's illegal drug use.

Illegal drug use is under-studied. It is often hard to acquire drugs to provide to research participants, and it is often hard to ensure honesty from all research participants about their illegal drug use (e.g. social-desirability bias). A disproportionate amount of drug research takes place in a context of prohibitionist institutions and individuals-- introducing various likely distortions to the scientific research's goals, choice of research questions, methods, interpretive framework, funding incentives, etc.

(It is often alleged by critics that the research by academics who are pro-decrim (or pro-safe-supply, pro-harm-reduction, etc.) is problematically biased toward their own beliefs and agendas. I agree this is often true [albeit in a different and more complicated way than is alleged]-- which I agree is bad and needs to be taken into account. But the implicit comparative assumption seems to be that most other drug research is unbiased. I disagree. I think large swaths of drug research are patently highly biased toward prohibitionism, in various overt and/or subtle, direct and/or indirect, ways.)

More broadly, drug prohibition tends to create and exacerbate an apparatus of drug-related (and often anti-drug-user) stereotypes, propaganda, oversimplifications, exaggerations, heuristics, and omissions, in a self-reinforcing feedback loop with anti-drug-user policies and practices.

Are some anti-drug-user stereotypes sort of true? Sure, maybe. Some of them seem plausibly sort of true. But which ones are indeed true or true-ish, and to what degree, and how confident may we be? What may we do on such basis? Notably, we have lots of higher-order evidence that they are part of a broader apparatus of stereotypes which is basically pernicious in origin and social-political function-- i.e. it has been designed, by intelligent design and/or by cultural evolution (etc.), to produce and promote anti-drug-user and/or pro-status-quo and/or prohibitionist ideology, etc. So we can predict that likely a lot of popular anti-drug-user stereotypes would be exaggerated or distorted, which should lead us to reduce our credence in the stereotypes in many cases.

(If you go in for moral encroachment (cf. Rami Basu) or suchlike, then take that into account too. But arguably moral encroachment is dubious or hard to apply (cf. Georgi Gardiner). (I need to read more philosophy of stereotypes.)

Relatedly, I also claim (and argue at some length in my notes, not yet posted) that some common rationales or aspects of drug prohibition, such as institutional paternalism, tend to exacerbate epistemic hazards (e.g. encourage oversimplifed views about the agency and experiences of those who are subjected to coercion)-- possibly, in part, to reduce the cognitive dissonance necessary to coerce lots of people on such prima facie dubious grounds and in such prima facie abusive ways.

Drug prohibition is also in a mutually reinforcing feedback loop with interlocking systems of oppression, such as classism, racism, sexism, and ableism, among others. Each of these, individually and together, introduce or exacerbate further epistemic hazards (cf. feminist social epistemology, Mills "Epistemologies of Ignorance," Stanley on ideology and propaganda, Kerwin Kaye on the effects of racist-classist tropes on drug court & rehab practice, etc.).

In short, prohibition (or many aspects thereof) creates many epistemic hazards-- factors that make people in general less likely to acquire or cultivate epistemic goods, such as knowledge and understanding, about drugs and drug-related topics. This produces widespread ignorance and error not only about (say) drugs and their pharmacology, but *also* about people who use drugs-- how they use drugs, *why* they use drugs, what it's *like* to use drugs, how the drugs relate (positively, neutrally, negatively) to the rest of their lives and projects and communities, etc.

This all contributes to continual bad policy epistemology, as well as epistemic injustice against drug users (and distinctive epistemic injustice against some subsets of drug users, such as those who are poor, black, disabled, etc.).

Decriminalizing drug use (or possession, which is a proxy for use) may help reduce some of these epistemic hazards, improving the state of public knowledge and discourse about drugs and drug users, and thus drug policy. At least, this is highly plausible, and merits further inquiry, philosophically and empirically.

Are my empirical claims here true? Some are sloppier armchair inferences than others. But plausibly, some of them are true or close to true. Arguably, there ought to be more research to investigate this. In countries, states, and provinces that have implemented de jure decriminalization (or de facto decrim, or decrim-adjacent policies), does the epistemic situation improve? If so, how much, and in what ways?

Normatively, if the empirical claim is largely true, is this argument sufficient by itself? Probably not. It may prove too much, unless further work is done.

Consider the following. (Note: mostly serious main point, but slightly more armchair-bullshitting on my part via the too-lackadaisical bizarre hypothetical): Quite possibly, if we were to legalize murder, then we would learn a lot more about why people commit murder, help people to speak more openly about their murdering, and improve the scientific study of murder and related issues in sociology and criminology. There is a lot of very strong anti-murder bias in our society, and this may well contribute to our having distorted beliefs about murder and the people who commit murder. Perhaps we are prone to misrepresent or oversimplify the reasons people commit murder. ...However, all this, even if true, is obviously not a sufficient reason to legalize murder. The reasons against legalizing murder are vastly stronger.

So, the Epistemic Effects argument for drug decriminalization must piggyback on the force of at least some other background arguments for decriminalizing drug use (arguments which would apply to drug use but not, say, murder). But in any case, the Epistemic Effects argument, I suspect, points to a plausible and important strand of benefits of decriminalization or related policy changes, which may help reduce epistemic injustice, improve policy epistemology going forward, etc.

[anarchic-miscellany]

Gundam SEED: A Dubbing Journey

More fun physical media tales! "Gundam SEED"

It's not the best Gundam series, but it's good fun and the first iteration of "Gundam" which I watched. Hence I have a sense of nostalgia for it, despite its flaws (looking at you 48 episode length...).

Anime is already a fairly niche field, despite the hilarious jokes and mainstream creep us filthy degenerates are making into modern society. The age old "debate" I guess, between those of us who have never seen the sun, seems to be between watching in the original language with subtitles, or watching it dubbed.

My personal thoughts go towards the dub. Aside from the fact that there are dozens and dozens of brilliant actors in this field who make the material fantastic and more accessible (Tara Platt, Yuri Lowenthal, Colleen Clinkenbeard, my homie Kirk Thornton, Steve Blum, Michelle Ruff, Wendee Lee, Kari Wahlgren, Todd Haberkon, Joel McDonald, so, so, so, so many others) to simply ignore the dub through snobbery is to disregard the hours and hours of effort and work put in by hard working, under-appreciated actors across the field. Voice actors are my jam.

So, "Gundam SEED" came out in 2002/2003 but was dubbed by the Ocean Group with Bandai in 2004, released by Beez on DVD. It's a good dub: No "Baccano!" or "Cowboy Bebop" but then again, what is? There are some great actors in this (Andrew Drummond's brother Brian plays the best character: Andrew Waltfeld THE DESERT TIGER, Lisa Ann Beley is the ship's captain, Trevor Devall from "Cowboy Bebop" and "Team America" as Mu La Flaga, Samuel Vincent as one of the two leads and, for some god-damned reason Brad "Light Yagami" Swaile as one of the best characters) as well as some lesser known names in the industry but also great in their parts. Chantal Strand is a standout as Lacus Clyne.

The dub was an excellent work, and my first exposure to the series, it's great.

The series was released on DVD, but had a rather short run: the always excellent Beez released it in the ever delightful format of five episodes per disc and one disc per box, their usual M.O.

I am going somewhere with this, bear with me.

So far so good.

In 2014 the series was re-released in HD, fine. Excellent! More of Beez's back catalogue coming out again and to the forefront is always a good thing.

However.

The dub was redone.

The actors, for the most part, were completely replaced from the top down. Gone were Matt Hill and Samuel Vincent as Kira and Athrun, gone were Drummond and Swaile. Everybody has been changed, right down to the lesser known actors playing some major parts in the series.

And they are the people who I want to talk about.

Bill Switzer, Sarah Johns and Lisa Ann Beley are not ever going to be household names, nor ever known truly amongst the clique-like cult who follow weaboo shit. But I am going to focus on these three people for a moment.

Respectively, in the Ocean Dub, they play Sai Argyle, Lt. Badgiruel and Captain Murrue Ramius, all fairly major characters in the series.

And they were replaced.

Bye, so long, farewell, hope that you got something out of the experience.

This isn't about rambling about how "the new dub sucks" or "Grrrr, change is bad" (well, maybe the latter a little) because, in all honesty, I haven't watched it. Heck, maybe it's fantastic!

But on a more philosophical level, I guess, consider this:

Mr Switzer, Ms Johns and Ms Beley have put a lot of work, time and effort into those parts, they're actors underappreciated, underpaid and glossed over in an already niche field, and then the one big piece of art they get to do, the one big part they have to be remembered and loved, is forgotten, soon to be washed away by the new dub. Sounds dramatic, sure, but now in future should Gundam SEED be sought out by people hoping to catch up on Gundam (though, why you'd start with "Gundam SEED" like a moron when the fantabulously gay "Gundam Wing" exists I shall never know) or just picked up and watched it's more likely that one will watch the remastered dub, and Mr Switzer and co will be banished and forgotten by history.

I guess what I wanted to say was simple:

Remember forgotten art, remember obscure actors, writers, producers and the like. All art has meaning, be it terrible, great or forgotten. Every piece of art has effort and love put into it by some people.

Don't let Bill Switzer and Sarah Johns and Lisa Ann Beley be mere forgotten footnotes.

Buy a DVD of something obscure and forgotten. Remember the effort put into it.

[falllpoutboy]

Hello, tarot reader #2 again.

For that ask about more details re: 🍀 and 🐍’s friendship, here’s what the cards have to say.

🍀 views her friendship with 🐍 as purely what a friendship should be like. She genuinely enjoys 🐍’s company and they do vibe. They’ve collaborated before professionally but 🍀 sees it as second to the fun they have when they’re hanging out. It’s a bonus for her that they get to work together and she enjoys herself when they get the chance to do so.

For 🐍, she engages in some competition with 🍀 but only she is aware of this, or at least at the start. Some other people have warned 🍀 about 🐍’s nature. It seems she has this way about her when it comes to other co-actors slash friends too. It’s healthy competition until it isn’t because 🐍 can’t see past the fact that they can’t compete, they’re too different and they’re not on the same level. No one’s better than the other, it’s simply an unfair comparison. However, there is some jealousy on 🐍’s part that has causes her to engage in some moves that she’d thought would get her the same attention as 🍀 but at the expense of their friendship as it involves a level of betrayal. It’s not intense but 🍀 picks up on the tiny moments and it all piles up. 🐍 finds it unfair that she’s been in the business “longer,” but isn’t reaping the same rewards hence why she’s acting this way. It’s sad because before the pressures of success came on, they had a genuine bond.

For the nature of their frienship, currently, with 🍀 realising some of 🐍’s actions being questionable and maybe insincere, her defenses are kind of up when it comes to her friendships. She’s tightening the circle so to speak. 🍀 wants to really be sure what constitutes a real friendship relationship and she wants honesty and accountability. Sadly, 🐍’s not responding to these, choosing to sweep it under the rug as she’s consumed with something else. In turn, 🍀 feels more and more that the friendship didn’t matter to 🐍 as much as it did to her. I pulled an extra card for RS and where she is in all of this. She’s choosing to play Switzerland cause she’s close to both girls but 🍀 is having a hard time understanding the neutrality of RS.

What does this mean for them? For 🍀, as mentioned earlier, her perspective on friendship is definitely evolving. She’s also learning, albeit not easily, that letting go of connections is difficult. At the end of the day, she’s hurt and she’s lost someone she cared about. She’s still trying to see it from 🐍’s side but slowly she’s starting to learn that it might not be for the purpose of reviving the friendship. It’s really for her own development too. There’s definitely a mourning aspect to it which I think OG tarot reader pointed out.

Honest and open communication is what 🍀 wants because of the said betrayal from 🐍’s side. There’s seeds of doubt planted that are solely growing cause of smoking guns. Currently 🍀 is still open to giving 🐍 a chance but the lack of initiative from the latter is causing her to lose faith. 🍀 is detaching slowly as she doesn’t want a nasty fallout given the mutual they have.

I’ll be online for a bit, let me know if there are other aspects of this whole thing you guys would want insight on through tarot.

wow. this provided a lot of clarity to what we have been guessing at for a month (2 months for me) now so…. very interesting !

[spinningbuster98]

Sonic the Hedgehog (1991) Ending: A not so unorthodox platformer

It’s Labyrinth Zone guys! You love Labyrinth Zone right? I sure love having to pretty much do a no-damage run through it in order to access the Special Stage! :D

In all honesty, I don’t really hate Labyrinth Zone (anymore), mainly because it’s not particularily badly designed beyond it’s very concept being fundementally antithetical to what Sonic should be about, which is something that could be argued about over half of this game anyway.

Star Light Zone is, of course, the second best Zone in the game. It’s the only other Zone that feels like it was designed with Sonic’s speed in mind and features some platforming so you’re not just moving to the right. It’s not as elegantly designed as Green Hill but it’s good enough. And of course the idea of having a cunstruction site during a starry night as a setting is both original and beautiful, especiallyn with the music

I actually like Scrap Brain Zone and think it’s the best final Zone of the Genesis games! It’s fittingly tough and though I much prefer the background of Act 1 with that dystopian city landscape, the fact that it essentially changes setting with each act makes it the most visibly dynamic Zone in the game, kinda foreshadowing how Sonic 3 would do things

I’ve seen people say that Sonic 1 has this progression where you start in more naturalistic settings and then go to increasingly more industrial settings, kinda in a way to showcase how technology is threatening to overtake nature. Nice interpretation! But it’s got holes. Mainly in the fact that this supposed progression is not as gradual as you’d think, mostly due to Labyrinth Zone being a mostly natural setting yet it’s sandwitched between two city stages. Maybe it’s just due to the Zone originally supposed to have been placed right after Green Hill. However even excluding this the only industrial setting with any negative connotations to it is Scrap Brain. Spring Yard and Star Light are normal cities, heck the latter is explicitly presented as beautiful, even more so than other natural settings like Marble and Labyrinth, maybe even more than Green Hill. To go from that to Scrap Brain isn’t exactly a gradual progression, it’s actually completely sudden

The general consensus around Sonic 1 is that it’s a good game, just not a good Sonic game

I...have issues with this idea

First off: to compare Sonic 1 with the games it spawned feels disingenious to me: there were NO Sonic games aside from this one (and the 8-bit version I guess), so there were no series standards to meet, mainly because they were still being formed. So I don’t believe it’s at all fair to compare Sonic 1 with the other games in the series in a liberal fashion

It is, however, absolutely fair to compare it with other platformers at the time. And it’s when we do this that things start getting a bit...uncertain for Sonic 1

I personally think that this is a decent game, it doesn’t have much wrong about it, however one should remember that this is a game that was specifically made to stand out from the crowd. The game was advertised as being different from other platformers at the time, Mario most of all.

And to be fair there are at least two things this game does that truly are unique: the physics based movement and the expansive level design. I can’t think of any other platformer at the time that featured these two elements. Sure Mario had a run button, but movement wasn’t as slick as Sonic’s, and his levels were usually straight lines filled with platforming challenges

However only a portion of Sonic 1 truly takes advantage of these factors. The rest of the game might as well be just a regular platformer like many others, and the issue is that, if we do judge these aspects by the standards of the time, then Sonic 1 ends up just...feeling unimpressive, if not downright full of itself.

This game’s pure platforming is decent, but it’s also nothing special, it’s very 101, nothing crazy or creative, hell sometimes it’s just flat out boring, like riding blocks on lava in Marble Zone. This game wanted to compete with Super Mario World and, I’m sorry, but in terms of being purely a PLATFORMER, that game absolutely runs circles around Sonic 1, no contest. It simply has far more creative platforming gimmicks and power ups. You might say that it’s an unfair comparison given that one is the fourth main title in a historic game series while the other is the first one of its kind and is still getting its bearings, but I’m not the one making the comparison here, it was Sega at that time, so I think it’s absolutely worth taking into consideration

Think of it this way: y’know all these Indie fan projects that are coming out that are clearly Sonic-inspired and every fan on the Internet is yelling that they’re doing a better job than Sonic Team themselves? Yeah imagine one of these games became official and that it was actively and aggressively advertised as being better than Sonic. Then you play it and it turns out to overall be more basic than Sonic’s own gameplay overall, while having a couple of genuinely cool ideas that aren’t used properly all the way. You’d laugh at that kind of game for having that kind of attitude yet being ultimately unable to fully like up to its own hype right?

But that’s pretty much what Sonic 1 is when compared to its main competitor. I wasn’t alive in 1991 so, at the end of the day, I can’t say this with absolute certainty, but I do believe I would have found Sonic 1′s marketing pretty laughable in the end. Honestly the main reason why I ultimately respect the game itself is mostly because its ideas will later be refined and the next few games will absolutely live up to the hype that the first one started to generate

And I guess that some might say that I’m completely wrong in my reasoning as, after all, the game was a huge success right? Well maybe, but I do wonder how much of this game’s success was really due to its quality and how much of it was due to Sega’s super aggressive marketing and the simple fact that it soon got bundled with every Genesis, especially the latter as do remember that, as soon as they stopped doing this, Sonic 3′s sales dropped a lot when compared to the first two games, despite Sonic 3 being....Sonic 3. Remember: sales and popularity do not neccessarily equate quality. Sonic 06 sold quite well at launch due to the initial hype and series like CoD nowadays are still very popular among the common crowd despite being largely ridiculed by many in the gaming community

And finally: no. I am not trying to say that “Sonic was never good lol. Cope and seethe fanboys”. Evidently a franchise capable of spawning over a hundred games lasting for 30+ years must’ve done something right in its early years at least

What I’m trying to argue is the possibility for Sonic 1 to just...be considered a pretty mediocre game overall, even on its own feet. I personally think it’s decent. PERSONALLY. But I think it’s got enough going against it that it can be argued that it’s actually less than that from an “objective” standpoint (if there’s anything like that anyway). I don’t like how people, at worst, talk about this game by saying “yeah it’s a bad Sonic game but a good game tho”, because I get the feeling that at times this is just born out of a fear of saying something bad about the progenitor of the series, like you HAVE to absolutely show your respect and reel in your criticisms or else! Except I don’t think that’s fair at all and this doesn’t just go for Sonic 1. You can respect what a game has done while also arguing that it’s not that good when standing on its own feet. Look at Metroid 1: that game is VERY important and I absolutely resoect it, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s an absolute mess, pretty damn broken even by the standards of the era.

[scalamore]

Novel Summary of Manhwa Chapter 110-111 (Part 1) - Rupert's POV

Trigger warning: mentions of death and suicide. :(

Volume 5, Chapter 13: You, Truly in Despair.

Rupert’s standing there, thinking how he’s seen 3 deaths in his life. For some reason, the people around him loved to die in front of him. Was it because there was some stench around him, that made people want to die? But wait, the third one is still alive somehow… as he looks at Lari.

He notices her feet poking out from the blood-red duvet – fair, and lily-white. But there was a dark bruise at the ankle, resulting from how tighty she tied herself to the bed that he needed a knife to release her. When he imagined her tying the rope herself, his eyes burned with rage. His usual emotionless and composed self was completely gone. The rage well up inside him, as if it would burn his heart into a crisp before subsiding. He didn’t know how to describe this feeling. Should he be at least glad that she wasn’t dangling from the air like the others? If she did hang herself like Eva, then his sense of reason would have been lost the moment he found her. No – even if she hadn’t, he lost his sanity anyway. The sight of her, lying lifelessly in the blazing inferno was impactful on its own. He looked at her lying there and flopped down in the seat beside the bed. The doctor hurries over and tells him to take it easy, reminding him of his own wounds. Rupert looks at his own wounds – an arm with burn wounds, a broken shoulder from covering Lariette from a collapsing column. His left eye was blurry from the ashes that fell onto them. He even had a priest come and bless him with holy water, but the pain lingered. If anything, he was a wreck instead of the one in the burning room.

He reached out and touched her forehead – her skin was soft like silk and asked the doctor why she wasn’t waking up despite physically appearing fine. He responds with encouragement she’ll be OK because Rupert saved her quickly, but Rupert was full of his own worries. Unbelievable, she doesn't move the way I expect her to. How troubling. No, it's beyond troubling, it’s unsettling. Why did she go this far? I had cherished her as best as I could. Did she truly believe I’d kill her?

I'm not going to kill you, let alone let you die by yourself.

Rupert had absolutely no plans on taking her life just because she was Akan I’s hidden daughter.

He asked if there was a chance she’d die, and the doctor was honest saying that Lari was never that physically strong in the first place.

For a moment, Rupert considered killing him for his honesty, but swallowed down those feelings because otherwise he’d kill an innocent person. It’s not like killing him would make her wake up, and also, he promised Lari that he would be a wise emperor.

The Doctor tries to encourage Rupert to rest, but he insists that he is, and dismisses the doctor.

Rupert lowered his head. He felt suffocated. There were bandages wound around his chest, but that wasn’t the issue. That feeling came from somewhere deeper. It was though something was squeezing him from the inside, from the corner of his heart. When he heard the door close, Rupert laid down next to Lari, wondering if he should be angry at her, or maybe beg her to wake up? As he gazed at her sleeping self, his anger bubbled but then subsided again.

He felt as if he was chased out from his home, naked, in the middle of winter. He was completely lost, he had no idea where to go. He desperately wanted to bicker and banter with her, but he couldn’t even ask why she did what she did. After all, she wouldn’t wake up.

He wonders if it would have been better to just let her die?

Rupert keeps on changing his mind throughout the day. At first, he couldn’t’ stand the look of her and considered getting rid of her. Yet at the same time, he wanted to do everything in his power to protect her. At some point, his decision leaned towards the latter of protecting her.

The Empire was paralyzed the moment Lariette ‘died’. It’s to be expected, as the newly crowned Emperor was stuck in his room, ignoring all the officials who knocked on his door.

Rupert knew more than Lariette. He’d always known more than her from the moment they first met. It wasn’t hard to piece together the pieces that Tori had brought him. Count Belois was a careful man, but he had weaknesses. The retainers of Akan I were as naïve as their Emperor. They preached what they wanted, but also prepared for their own downfalls. Although he had many worries when he found out Lariette was his daughter, he didn’t need to take any specific action. Although, he found it difficult to predict her behavior. She always acted in ways that didn’t make sense. She only made irrational choices and didn’t know how to take care of herself. Despite this, he never imagined she would attempt to kill herself. He expected her to betray him and join House Belois. When she did, he thought of suppressing her family in such a way so she wouldn’t be hurt. She would go crazy and resent him if he were to kill her family – thus he would spare her mother and brother. She wouldn’t dare leave him then, she wouldn’t be that shameless.

“But there’s a limit to one’s foolishness.”

Once again, he failed to predict her actions.

She didn’t watch him in his moment of glory when he became Emperor. He should have locked her up and interrogated her, asking where she learned to be so impudent. Or maybe he should have warned her ahead of time, to cut her ties with her family since her father was planning treason?

But he knew better. Lariette would never abandon them.

She didn’t believe him at all.

At that moment, Rupert realized. Lariette did not trust him, and didn’t trust that he would protect her.

“Why?”

Did his words mean nothing at all to her? He had said he would protect her and House Belois as long as House Belois did not threaten his throne.

He never saw House Belois as a threat. Akan I was dead, a forgotten ghost. He took out Lariette’s letter from his pocket, crushing it without reading it. It was so clear how much she wanted to protect her family. They were all selfish. Lariette’s family was extremely selfish to her, and she was selfish to him.

He thought she thoroughly planned out her death. She must have acted this way because she knew how much he cared for her. If the reason for their rebellion was gone, House Belois would be forced to give up on the rebellion. And for her sake, Rupert would not touch House Belois since she sacrificed her life to protect his throne. For her, he would at least do that much. You made a grave mistake.

.. continued in part 2