#may this mark the end of an era

[tomboeski]

Bliss.

[keeps-ache]

ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]

[renthony]

In Defense of Shitty Queer Art

Queer art has a long history of being censored and sidelined. In 1895, Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray was used as evidence in the author’s sodomy trials. From the 1930s to the 1960s, the American Hays Code prohibited depictions of queerness in film, defining it as “sex perversion.” In 2020, the book Steven Universe: End of an Era by Chris McDonnell confirmed that Rebecca Sugar’s insistence on including a sapphic wedding in the show is what triggered its cancellation by Cartoon Network. According to the American Library Association, of the top ten most challenged books in 2023, seven were targeted for their queer content. Across time, place, and medium, queer art has been ruthlessly targeted by censors and protesters, and at times it seems there might be no end in sight.

So why, then, are queer spaces so viciously critical of queer art?

Name any piece of moderately-well-known queer media, and you can find immense, vitriolic discourse surrounding it. Audiences debate whether queer media is good representation, bad representation, or whether it’s otherwise too problematic to engage with. Artists are picked apart under a microscope to make sure their morals are pure enough and their identities queer enough. Every minor fault—real or perceived—is compiled in discourse dossiers and spread around online. Lines are drawn, and callout posts are made against those who get too close to “problematic art.”

Modern examples abound, such as the TV show Steven Universe, the video game Dream Daddy, or the webcomic Boyfriends, but it’s far from a new phenomenon. In his book Hi Honey, I’m Homo!, queer pop culture analyst Matt Baume writes about an example from the 1970s, where the ABC sitcom titled Soap was protested by homophobes and queer audiences alike—before a single episode of the show ever aired. Audiences didn’t wait to actually watch the show before passing judgment and writing protest letters.

After so many years starved for positive representation, it’s understandable for queer audiences to crave depictions where we’re treated well. It’s exhausting to only ever see the same tired gay tropes and subtext, and queer audiences deserve more. Yet the way to more, better, varied representation is not to insist on perfection. The pursuit of perfection is poison in art, and it’s no different when that art happens to be queer.

When the pool of queer art is so limited, it feels horrible when a piece of queer art doesn’t live up to expectations. Even if the representation is technically good, it’s disappointing to get excited for a queer story only for that story to underwhelm and frustrate you.

But the world needs that disappointing art. It needs mediocre art. It even needs the bad art. The world needs to reach a point where queer artists can fearlessly make a mess, because if queer artists can only strive for perfection, the less art they can make. They may eventually produce a masterpiece, but a single masterpiece is still a drop in the bucket compared to the oceans of censorship. The only way to drown out bigotry and offensive stereotypes created by bigots is to allow queer artists the ability to experiment, learn through making mistakes, and represent their queer truth even if it clashes with someone else’s.

If queer artists aren’t allowed to make garbage, we can never make those masterpieces everyone craves. If queer artists are terrified at all times that their art will be targeted both by bigots and their own queer communities, queer art cannot thrive.

Let queer artists make shitty art. Let allies to queer people try their hand at representation, even if they miss the mark. Let queer art be messy, and let the artists screw up without fear of overblown retribution.

It’s the only way we’ll ever get more queer art.

_

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[millysastroblog]

SR ASC in Natal Chart Houses PT.2

🌼SR ASC in natal 7th house🌼:

In this life era, you're entering a phase of deep reflection on your connections—both past and present. Your focus shifts towards close relationships, and you may find yourself investing more time and energy into them than before. This year, it's less about you individually and more about the people around you. You may encounter new faces, or situations may unfold in the lives of those close to you, influencing your experience. There might be a strong urge to reconnect with people from your past or meet potential partners, perhaps through new introductions or serendipitous encounters. The dynamics with spouses, lovers, or close partners are highlighted—either improving or deteriorating, depending on the state of the relationship. You may find yourself addressing long-standing issues, seeking therapy or counseling to gain clarity and balance. For some, this could lead to a renewed commitment, such as getting engaged or finding greater harmony within your partnership. For others, this period may mark the end of a relationship as you realize it's time to move on to something better. Breakups and separations are common, as this energy compels you to evaluate what you truly want and deserve in love. Throughout this period, you’ll also gain deep insight into your attachment style, love language, and past relationship patterns—whether healthy or toxic. It’s a time to explore your emotional needs and how you relate to others in a profound way. There may also be significant developments in business partnerships or collaborative ventures, requiring clear communication, support, and shared efforts to move forward.

Ouestions you might ask:

How do I really feel about my partner?, What impact has this relationship had on me? Am I truly happy in this connection?Am I supporting others, and who’s supporting me?, Do I still love you the same way?

🌼SR ASC in natal 8th house🌼:

With SR Ascendant in your natal 8th house, this year is all about profound change and transformation. The 8th house, ruled by depth and intensity, pulls you into a process of letting go and embracing rebirth. You may feel drawn to confront deep emotional truths, both within yourself and in your relationships, leading to significant healing or endings. It’s a time to face fears, let go of old patterns, and move through loss—whether it’s the end of a relationship, a shift in your financial situation, or the release of emotional baggage that no longer serves you. There’s a powerful need to redefine your sense of power and vulnerability, particularly in your intimate connections. Some relationships may deepen and evolve, while others may come to a natural close, forcing you to reevaluate what you truly need from others. This year, the focus is on transformation—whether it's healing old wounds, clearing out the past, or embracing new beginnings. The 8th house invites you to face the uncomfortable, but in doing so, you step into a new version of yourself.

Ouestions you might ask:

What do I need to let go of? , Am I ready to face my fears?What’s holding me back from deep intimacy? How can I transform this part of my life? Where do I need more trust or control?

🌼SR ASC in natal 9th house🌼:

With SR Ascendant in the 9th house, this year invites you to dive deep into exploring new philosophies, knowledge, and experiences. You’ll likely feel a strong pull toward higher learning—whether through formal education, travel, or self-study. You may find yourself drawn to different cultures or distant places, possibly considering a move or spending extended time abroad. The environments you immerse yourself in this year will significantly expand your worldview, and your surroundings will play a key role in your growth.Your beliefs, whether religious, moral, or philosophical, come into focus. You may feel a strong urge to redefine them, questioning what aligns with your truth. This is a time for deep introspection, where you may reflect on your past life philosophy and consider what changes or improvements you want to make. You might develop a fascination with reading, learning, or engaging in discussions that challenge your worldview.Life events this year may also revolve around achieving significant milestones, like graduating, earning a degree, or reaching a major life goal. You could even find yourself contemplating a major commitment, like marriage, or celebrating someone else’s success. This is a year of intellectual expansion and reflection, pushing you to examine your path and decide what comes next.

Ouestions you might ask:

What do I truly believe in?Am I ready to expand my knowledge and explore new ideas? Should I pursue further education or a new learning path?Is it time for me to travel or experience a new culture?What life goals do I want to achieve next?

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

🌼SR ASC in natal 10th house🌼:

With SR Ascendant in the 10th house this year, your focus shifts to career and long-term goals. You'll be driven to define your public persona and solidify your professional reputation. This might involve launching a new business, stepping into a leadership role, or elevating your career in a significant way. It's a year for expanding your horizons—attending conferences, meetings, and job interviews, and putting yourself out there in the public eye. There’s a strong drive to build a solid foundation for your future, whether through a career shift or boosting your presence on social media. For some, this could mean growing a business or brand online. The 10th house emphasizes hard work and persistence, meaning your achievements will come after dedicated effort. On a personal level, your relationship with your father or father figures may deepen, with opportunities for growth in this area as well. This is a busy, ambitious year focused on carving out a strong, lasting professional identity.

Questions you might ask:

What do I want to achieve this year in my career? What are my biggest ambitions, and how can I take action on them? Should I change my job or ask for a promotion? Do I need to expand my professional network or go out more? How can I strengthen my public persona or reputation?

🌼SR ASC in natal 11th house🌼:

With SR Ascendant in the 11th house, this year could bring a more lighthearted, fun energy into your life, similar to the 5th house vibe. You may find yourself more social, seeking out gatherings, parties, and activities that allow you to connect with others in a relaxed, enjoyable way. There's a strong desire to celebrate life with friends, new acquaintances, and groups who share your passions. This is a time for expanding your social circle, embracing new experiences, and participating in events that foster a sense of belonging. The 11th house also brings a focus on your hopes and dreams, so while you're having fun, you're also building the foundation for fulfilling long-term goals with the support of your social network. Whether it’s through casual connections or organized group activities, your social life can provide both excitement and opportunities for personal growth this year. Expect to be more active in the community, finding joy in the collective energy of those around you. Your aspirations and dreams take center stage, and you might find yourself actively working to turn ideas into reality. Whether through collaboration or innovation, there’s a strong drive to create something meaningful within your community. This year, your focus shifts toward future planning, making long-term goals that align with your higher ideals. Expect an increase in social interest, as you'll feel more compelled to connect with people who support your vision. It’s a time for expanding your social network, fulfilling your dreams, and bringing your ideas to life in ways that benefit both you and the collective.

Questions you might ask:

What new social circles or communities should I explore? How can I fulfill my dreams with the help of others? Is it time to expand my social media presence or network? Am I ready to pursue my hopes and aspirations more actively?

🌼SR ASC in natal 12th house🌼:

With SR Ascendant in the 12th house, this year brings a focus on spirituality, introspection, and mental health. You may find yourself diving deeper into your subconscious, uncovering hidden beliefs or unresolved emotions. It's a time for exploring new spiritual practices, questioning old beliefs, and seeking a deeper connection to something higher, whether through meditation, reflection, or retreat. There may also be a sense of isolation, either voluntarily or circumstantially, as you withdraw from the hustle and bustle to focus on your inner world. This year, dreams and nightmares could play a significant role, offering insights into your subconscious and guiding you toward greater self-awareness. You might feel drawn to distant places, whether through travel or an emotional journey, to explore the unknown aspects of yourself. The 12th house invites deep self-reflection, so you may spend time thinking about past experiences and how they’ve shaped you. Mental health could also come into focus, with a need to address unresolved fears, anxieties, or emotional baggage. Ultimately, this is a time to reconnect with your higher self, finding peace and clarity in solitude, while also embracing the spiritual lessons that emerge from introspection.

Questions you might ask:

What new spiritual beliefs am I exploring? How can I address my mental health and subconscious fears?What do my dreams or nightmares reveal about me? Am I ready to spend time in isolation for self-reflection? What hidden parts of myself am I ready to uncover?

Thanks for reading :)

❁~Milly~❁

SR ASC in natal houses PT.1

[invenusworld]

rohini

rohini's presiding deity is brahma, who is said not to be concerned with morals, with 'right or wrong,' but rather simply with the act of bringing to fruition every impluse of the imagination. fantasy, desire and sexuality are deeply entwined with the symbolism and cosmic function of rohini — the red woman — the one easily aroused, and rohini is ultimately in the pursuit of pleasure, in all its various guises.

rohini seeks to uncover, unearth and experience all which causes the loins to stir, regardless of its perceived morality. It may seem that there are no limits to the sexual proclivities of Rohini, and in some instances there aren't — as in the extreme case of rohini sun native Marquis de Sade.

to quote The Hidden Octave,

"[The Marquis'] Rohini influence comes in strongly in his total disregard for laws and morality, a total abandon into all things sensually gratifying as this is not a nakshatra of discrimination, rules or any of the programming that holds man back from giving himself over to his lust. Fundamentally, Rohini is the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake.

Have a crush? Who cares if he’s a convict felon or your middle school teacher or married? Go after it."

Egon Schiele, Self-Portrait with Physalis, 1912

Egon Schiele is an artist whose mercury is in Rohini. Mercury represents the area of life that we have a practical, tangible understanding of. The placement of mercury also reflects our creations and manipulations of matter.

"Egon Leo Adolf Ludwig Schiele (12 June 1890 – 31 October 1918) was an Austrian Expressionist painter. His work is noted for its intensity and its raw sexuality, and for the many self-portraits the artist produced, including nude self-portraits. The twisted body shapes and the expressive line that characterize Schiele's paintings and drawings mark the artist as an early exponent of Expressionism. Gustav Klimt, a figurative painter of the early 20th century, was a mentor to Schiele."

Schiele's mentor, Gustav Klimt, has his venus in Rohini.

Gustav Klimt, Daphne, 1903

I will now share an excerpt of an article by Dominic Witek regarding the polarizing and deeply controversial artworks of Egon Schiele

"Created in the era of Freud, Schiele’s work can be seen as a metaphor for the psychoanalyst method of the talking cure where drawing is synonymous with speaking, revealing and releasing hopes and fears lodged in the unconscious."

Here, the author likens the work of Schiele to that of Rohini moon native Sigmund Freud.

"The broad spectrum of emotion depicted is expressed by Schiele’s various presentation of women. The different articulations of their bodies seems to convey a host of the artist’s attitudes, ranging from fear and distanced superiority, to admiration and desire for women. Indeed the artist’s relationships with women reflected these hopes and fears. He married Edith Harms, a respectable woman with whom he established a marriage based solely on friendship, continued an intimate relationship with Wally Neuzil despite attempting to end it before his marriage, and had an unusual relationship with his sister Gertrude.

[...] characterisations of the artist’s sister invite questioning on the nature of their relationship, which at least hints at the incestuous."

Brahma was condemned for incestuosly desiring his own daughter (creation) Rohini, which prompted her to adopt the form of a deer in Mrigashira to escape from her father.

"Egon was arrested in 1912 for suspected sexual harassment of underage girls. Despite this traumatic event (which he lamented extensively in his writings), he continued to depict very young women until his death.

His aesthetic mirrors Freudian attitudes in which sex is intimately related to death, the connection between the pleasure principle and the death drive, Eros and Thanatos. Freud articulated this tension in relation to women, defining the ‘castration complex’ as experiencing the fear of being castrated, while caught by an irrepressible sexual desire. Woman with Black Stockings, 1913, articulates this tension as a reclining woman lifts her skirt to reveal her sex"

It seems as though the threads of the unbridled pursuit of pleasure weave together the works, philosophies & artworks of rohini natives through the ages

To quote Jason Farago, "True morality, for Sade, entailed following your darkest and most destructive passions to their farthest possible ends, even at the expense of other human life.

To kill a man in passion was one thing, but to rationalise killing by law was barbarous.

“We rail against the passions,” [Sade] wrote, “but never think that it is from their flame that philosophy lights its torch.”

[lilithlounge]

Venus Retrograde 2025 – Love on Rewind, Chaos on the Horizon

Mark your calendars, lovers and ex-lurkers! From March 1 to April 12, 2025, Venus...the planet of love, beauty, money, and self-worth is going retrograde, meaning all things romance, relationships, and finances are about to get a cosmic reality check.

And this isn’t just any Venus retrograde. Oh no. This one starts in Aries (March 1 - March 27)—the bold, impulsive, burn-it-all-down-to-build-it-up sign—before diving headfirst into the watery, mystical mess of Pisces (March 27 - April 12). Translation? We’re going from “I don’t need you, I’ll set your car on fire” energy to “I still love you, let’s soul merge” energy real quick.

March 1 - March 27: Venus Retrograde in Aries – The Bold Bitch Era™

This is not your soft, poetic love story. This is love on steroids, then withdrawal. Aries is ruled by Mars, so Venus here is already aggressive, impulsive, and unapologetic. But when she starts moonwalking backward? Expect:

- Exes reappearing like they’ve got unfinished business (Spoiler: they do, and it’s messy)

-Sudden urges to end relationships dramatically (Blocking, deleting, "accidentally" sending that risky text? Yep.)

-Impulse spending that will haunt your bank account in April (No, you don’t need that $500 leather jacket.)

-Dramatic makeovers that may or may not be a regret later (Shaving your head? Piercing something? Think it through, babe.)

-Toxic relationship patterns coming back to test you (Did you really heal, or are you just ignoring the red flags?)

Best Advice? Pause before you act. Aries energy wants it NOW, but retrograde means it needs RECONSIDERATION. Don’t throw away something (or someone) just because you’re in your feelings.

March 27 - April 12: Venus Retrograde in Pisces – The Delusional Romance Era™

After all that chaotic, burn-it-down energy, Venus slips into Pisces, where she romanticizes the pain, writes a poem about it, and forgives everyone, sometimes too quickly.

-Dreamy nostalgia, missing people you swore you were over (Why does their name keep showing up in songs?)

-Old flames reappearing with “I’ve changed” speeches (Have they? Or is it just Neptune clouding your judgment?)

-Crying over movies, songs, and that one text from 2017 (If you suddenly feel like a poet, blame Venus.)

-Spiritual connections intensifying, twin flame chasers, this is your moment (Or your downfall. Choose wisely.)

-Illusions in love, seeing people as you want them to be, not as they are (Don’t settle for potential. Look at the reality.)

Best Advice? Don’t let the rose-colored glasses fool you. Love should feel magical, but not at the cost of your boundaries or self-respect.

So..... what should you do?

-Reflect, don’t react. Venus retrograde is about reassessing love, money, and self-worth, not making impulsive decisions.

-Avoid major beauty or financial changes. The haircut can wait. The new relationship can too.

-If an ex pops up, ask yourself: Why now? Not every “second chance” is meant to be taken.

-Focus on healing, not reattaching. If you’re missing someone, is it them or the idea of them?

-Don’t start a new relationship until Venus goes direct. Love formed in a retrograde often comes with karmic lessons (aka drama).

Final Thoughts – Buckle Up, It's a Ride

This Venus retrograde will test your patience, your heart, and your ability to avoid chaos. Some connections will burn, some will deepen, and some will make a dramatic return just to mess with your head.

By April 12, you’ll know what (and who) is worth your time and what you need to leave behind for good.

Feeling lost in love? Need clarity on an ex or a fated connection? I offer detailed astrology readings to help you navigate this retrograde without losing your mind. DM me or check my Ko-Fi, Buy Me A Coffee for a personal reading!

[chuplayswithfire]

So this honest to god essay of a response was originally sparked in conversation with someone else about my thoughts on the ways that the Sailor Moon manga (and it's author, Naoko Takeuichi) engaged with the subject of gender norms, gender expression, and specifically how that's expressed in the casual and comfortable ways that various women in Sailor Moon engage with themselves and others.

The conversation I had with that person ended up more heavily focused on other things, but I really like the writing I did here, and really, what is Tumblr for, but sharing the unnecessary essays you wrote for no other reason than because you had so many thoughts and not enough time to express them all?

The conversation that sparked this essay started with the other party sharing that they felt the manga's decision to have Usagi and Minako use their disguise tools to transform into men was playing into 90s era gags about gender, that Haruka was a Takarazuka Revue reference and nothing more, and that the manga's portrayal of the Starlights was rooted in Naoko's hatred for the idea of boys being Senshi. I disgareed with all of those sentiments… and thus was the essay born.

So here it is!

One thing I feel is pretty important is that Sailor Moon as a series has been rooted in conversation about and regarding gender norms and societal pressures placed on women in Japan from the beginning - it's a conversation that many Mahou Shoujo series engage in, and I see a failure to understand that conversation in this summary of events, which may explain why what the manga represents as at times casual but always whole-hearts explorations of gender and sexuality, could come across as dismissive gags or shallow references to someone unfamiliar with the source material. Assuming that there's no greater thought to any of this, however, is more dismissive than the series deserves.

I could - and almost did - write an entire treatise, running through the various ways that Sailor Moon as a series exists to combat and rework gender stereotypes, starting with the fact that in 80s to 90s Japanese culture, Usagi Tsukino was not the most feminine lead, with interests that marked her as boyish (enjoying video games and comics, a boisterous love of eating and a large appetite, rather than having a dainty diet) that were embraced as part of the characteristics that make Usagi who she is, rather than being used to put her down. That's not to say Usagi's some huge tomboy - she's not! But she was not the ultimately girly girl protagonist either, and as far as the time period went, she was fairly evenly mixed on having "boyish" and "girlish" interests.

It's not the most obvious place to start with Sailor Moon's conversation about gender and girlhood, but it ''is'' part of the conversation, just like the decision to have Sailor V/Minako Aino and then Sailor Moon/Usagi Tsukino be ''warriors'' was a decision made with thoughts towards gender as well, because the Senshi are warriors who are girls, and they are celebrated for it. Made at a point when the majority of Mahou Shoujo series were still more comedic and based more in helping around the community rather than fighting evil, Sailor Moon is generally regarded as the series which that combined Magical Girls with the sentai-style formula that had already been popularized by series like Kamen Rider and Super Sentai - both series predominantly featuring ''men'' who save the world (though Super Sentai teams usually have at least one woman on the team).

The conversation extends further than just being girls who fight crime with magical transformations, though. Even the fact that in Sailor Moon, the Senshi's transformation phrases involve the words "Make Up" is about gender, and femininity, and expressions of womanhood as a form of strength. Because make up and the wearing of it for personal enjoyment and beauty was seen as either a frivolity or a silly girly thing, having it be a part of the Sailor Senshi's power was reclaiming that and centering the having of power as feminine. Everything about the Senshi's designs was both based in what Naoko personally thought of as cute and in conversation with Japanese views on gender and society.

So with all that said, to address the idea of Usagi having been disguised as a boy once only for the sake of a one-time gag:

Usagi uses the disguise pen to become a groom (a groom who is a man, specifically, rather than a woman who claims for herself the title of groom) in the Sailor Moon manga in chapter 5, when Makoto is introduced. It is not as a gag, because a gag by definition requires something to be comedic.

There is nothing comedic about Usagi's transformation into a groom - in fact, it is played in full seriousness and as a rescue of Makoto's heart as much as her physical self. In the context of the manga, a youma has been disguising itself as a bride to capture, control, and drain men, as well as using those men to lure in women for capture. Makoto and Motoki are the victims of the day, with Motoki being brainwashed by the bride youma and Makoto falling under his influence - Usagi becomes a groom, not as a gag, not as a trick, not as a trap, but to come to Makoto's rescue in the same form that she's been manipulated in, restoring the romantic fantasy while also rebuking the bride youma.

It's a very short appearance - two pages - which is how most of the manga's uses of the disguise pen function; they are short-lived disguises for a specific purpose. In Usagi's case, it is to specifically take on the male form to rebuke the bride youma for manipulating others with beauty (the beautiful bride monster vs the handsome groom that is Usagi) and the sweet murmurs of love. Motoki, under the influence of the youma, told Makoto that he loved her, that he was waiting for her, answering all her girlish dreams. Usagi, as the groom, is stepping up to counteract the destruction of those dreams. Again, it's a short-lived moment, but it's not a gag. There are very few gags in the manga over all, because it's not a comedic series, it's a dramatic one, an action focused one, a romance one, but not a comedy, and this isn't one of those few gags.

I mentioned Minako transforming as well and I assume the same view that saw Usagi's transformation as a gag would would interpret these moments as a gag as well, so let me be clear - neither of those moments are a gag either, and it's not treated as a funny haha thing that Minako has done. She does it twice, both times comfortable transforming her gender to complete missions - the first time is in Codename Sailor V Chapter 4, in which a different youma is attacking and kidnapping male idols. Minako uses her disguise compact to become a male idol and infiltrate the area the youma is expected to appear again, both to avoid detection from the police, and to lure the youma in to revealing her position so she can be defeated.

Minako's transformation into a boy is treated as a utilitarian disguise, yes, but it's also clearly shown that she is indeed a "pretty boy idol" who is also Minako Aino. As a pretty boy idol, Minako maintains all usual personality, and expression but is very distinctly and visibly a cis male, in the same way that she is usually a cis girl, exemplified by a flattened chest and pectoral muscles. Once the youma has been lured in, Minako transforms into Sailor V - just as Usagi transformed into Sailor Moon - and rebukes the youma for turning innocent men into her slaves and being a disgrace to women.

In her second transformation into a boy, in Sailor Moon chapter 29, Minako transforms into a male student of Mugen Academy so she can sneak into Mimete's concert. It's also not portrayed as a gag - Minako could transform into a female student if she wanted to, something we explicitly know because Usagi has transformed into a female Mugen Academy student.

She ''chooses'' to become a male student, by which I mean Naoko chooses to write her as becoming a male student, and Minako is treated the exact same way as a male student by the narrative as she's normally treated when she's female, hanging out with other students, enjoying the concert, acting utterly normally. It is clearly not a big deal for Minako to be a boy or a girl.

All three of these transformations are treated casually, which I suppose could come across as trivializing to some, rather than as some deep personal struggle, but this is something that people have related to for thirty years. Thirty years, of people recognizing themselves in Usagi and Minako's easy but brief and comfortable existences as boys, because that is how many people - including myself! - experience being genderqueer - an equal comfort in existing as a woman or a man or as both or as neither, and in all cases an equal recognition of the self. These are brief appearances; everything in Sailor Moon's manga is brief, strung together moments that come together for a whole.

But Usagi becomes a boy effortlessly to protect Makoto's heart and Minako becomes a boy effortlessly to defeat a youma, to infiltrate Mugen Academy, and they are both casual and honest reflections of them being another gender, while being themselves. In a time where gender transformation was often a joke,

Looking outside of our heroes, we'll see other times in Sailor Moon where characters are comfortably presented as engaging in transformative gender expression: in the Nephrite's Shadow is represented as a woman, with no apparently discomfort or comedy for him; there is again, no specific reason that Nephrite's own Shadow is a women, except for Noako's consistent genderplay and interest in exploring gender as something beyond a binary of those are men and those are women.

Likewise, Zoisite disguises himself as a woman in his primary appearance as well, again, not something he has to do. The persistent appearance of characters choosing to express themselves as another gender, in non-comedic fashion, shows that this isn't something that Naoko did as a one-off thought, but builds into her overall presentation of gender and sexuality as the series goes on.

Now, address your second point: Haruka is modeled after the takarazuka revue. I can't say that there's no influence there - Haruka was in fact originally envisioned as being part of Takarazuka theater, playing a male role - but that's not *all* Haruka is. The Sailor Moon anime made the decision to establish a sharp gender binary with Haruka and Michiru, with Haruka as the masculine butch and Michiru as the femme, but in the Sailor Moon manga Haruka is presented in both highly masculine attire and highly feminine attire, preferring to wear the male school uniform but wearing very feminine outfits, and Usagi outright asks her if she is a man or a woman, because she wears both roles extremely well.

The manga doesn't use the language of nonbinary because Japanese doesn't ''have'' that language - a lot of terms for beings transgender and having different gender roles are loanwords borrowed from English. But Naoko has stated that Haruka has the heart of a man, that she likes to wear mini skirts and daisy dukes. Usagi's narration regarding Haruka states in chapter 29, "this person looks like a man and a woman". This is in fact the same chapter where Minako again becomes a boy, and I don't think its unintentional that in the same chapter that Usagi is questioning and understanding that a person can be both a man and a woman, Minako is choosing to again present herself as a boy while on a mission.

In chapter 30, Usagi asks Haruka outright, "Haruka, are you a man? Or are you a woman?" To which Haruka responds with "Man, woman. Why would something like that matter?" And then pulls her in as if to kiss her - this was the 90s, almost a decade before Tokyo Godfathers, another critical piece of Japanese media that talks explicitly about trans people by having one of the main characters be a trans woman - would come out. Neptune, speaking of Uranus, says in Chapter 32: "Uranus is like a man and a woman in one. She has the strengths of both genders, it is her special advantage as a soldier.

Sailor Moon was not the only series to explore gender and sexuality but it was one of the pioneering series' to explore it in teen/young adult media in Japan. Haruka is not someone who can be minimized as a tarazuka reference, she is as explicitly nonbinary as it was possible to be, with the language and information available at the time. The manga is in conversation with gender and stereotyping and societal pressures the entire time.

It's also not a coincidence that this is in the part of the manga that Usagi and Mamoru are having relationship troubles, struggling with the thought of attraction to other people, attraction to each other. This is the portion of the manga where they mature as a couple and have sexual activity for the first time, though of course its not specific and vague about the actual physical intimacies. Naoko was very intentionally having a conversation with the manga, one which explored what it means to be a woman, to grow up, to be in a relationship and mature and grow and ''be'' in the world.

Now, we get to the last part of the initial question, "As for the starlights, apparently Naoko hated the idea of boys being senshi, so instead she walked it back to standard gender bending of the time."

I've kept this assertion from the original conversation intact because this idea is one that exists outside of this conversation I had, and it's completely factually incorrect.

Naoko *created* the Starlights. She *created* their characters, and did not walk anything back.

In fact, the original anime is the one who made the Starlights into the example standard gender bending of the time - the classic 90s anime is what created the idea of the Starlights transforming from men as civilians and women as Soldiers. This was a choice they made that did not match Naoko's vision of the characters. When she spoke about the Starlights in interviews, it was to say that Senshi are always girls - which was a statement made in 1998, at a time when women's rights were still being fought for in both Japan and the United States (where she made the comment! She was in California at the time). Having the heroes of her story, the soldiers, the fighters, be ''women'' was a statement about protecting her brand and series as primarily for girls, about girls, with girls.

And in her series, girls can become boys. Girls can have the heart of a man. Girls can be both men and women. It's a limitation of language and the era that we have to remember, looking from 2024, at a manga started in the early 90s and finishing its run in the late 90s.

In the manga, the Starlights are always women, but they wear masculine attire as civilians, while their senshi forms are not especially feminine, but rather make it clear that they have the physical traits associated with women, are fairly femme as soldiers. In other words, they're butch in their civilian lives, but they aren't men. They are girls who can be masculine. They are women who can present as men. They are a continued exploration of Sailor Moon's on-going discussion of gender. It was about girls getting to be the warriors who save the world, women getting to be the centerpoint on which the universe turns.

It was the original anime that would rather portray Seiya as a man when he's trying to flirt with and woo Usagi, rather than keep Seiya's original presentation as a woman who presents masculine at times.

There are so many more points or characters I could have talked about, but in general, the entire manga factors into the question of gender exploration, particular in regards to what it means to be a girl, what it means to express gender, what it means for Sailor Senshi to be girls, and what being a girl means.

Sailor Moon's manga has many themes but one that consistently comes back is the gender play, and the way that Naoko expresses gender in characters.

[styllwaters]

KNIGHT DEITIES

It's been a hot minute since I posted Vivere 44 art. Been intensely busy with school for the past few months but now that I've graduated I've got a lot of time to kill! Since the Knights post surpassed 1k notes I figured I may as well elaborate on them more. I'm so blown away by how much love they're getting already! Thank you all <3

I'm gonna talk a bit about Mountain and Plains Knight religions, mythology and a snippet of evolutionary history. I will cover Polar Knight religions in another post. The focus is on two gods in particular, Uwet-Jana and Kiraiarik.

_______

Uwet-Jana is the demigod of good health, vitality, and inner balance. In some regions they are also the god of fertility. The name of their Host is Uwetsil, and their Helmet is Serrjana. Mainly worshiped by Mountain cultures, Uwet-Jana takes the form of a Knight whose Host and Helmet are physically merged into a singular being.

Kiraiarik [pronounced ki-rai-ah-rik] is the personification of the host-helmet symbiotic relationship. They are the god of symbiosis, rebirth, and love. Kiraiarik was the name given to two immortal partners, a Host and a Helmet, who began as a singular being born to the sea in Ettera’s prehistoric era. Ettera decided to make them Two, one half (the Helmet) ruling over the sea and the other (the Host) having domain over the land. The story goes that in every form they take, they try to find each other - for their body remembers being One.

Both gods have lots of lore to their name. Further information below!

UWET-JANA

Uwet-Jana's Host body has long spines and red stripes like a Pike, and long fingerlike paws like a Helmet's manipulators. The Helmet section sports two long horns and elegant facial markings. Uwet-Jana has an iridescent sheen on their golden fur, catching the rays of the sun in a shimmering glow.

The story of Uwet-Jana is as follows: Both Uwetsil and Serrjana were born as runts, in a dark time when sickly Knights were seen as curses and not worth caring for. Their Order, believing them to be bad omens, cast them out to wander the tundra alone. They believed that the natural forces of Ettera (the Knight’s homeplanet) would quickly end them. However, Ettera took pity on the castaway, sending them three blessings. The first gift was a bone with marrow inside that ensured one is never hungry or thirsty again. Then, Ettera sent a warm, sweet wind into Uwet-Jana’s lungs which warded off all sickness and disease. Finally, a sun shower fell, the rains cleansing them and blessing them with a coat made of ivory and gold.

Transformed into a demigod with a hybrid body, Uwet-Jana was offered a place among the deities in the sky - but they refused, preferring to stay on the ground to share their gift with the mortals. Unbeknownst to them, their Order who had exiled them was struck by three curses from the Gods to mirror Uwet-Jana’s blessings: all the rivers in the area dried up and all their hunts were unsuccessful, leaving them with no food or water. Infections and diseases picked them off one by one, and a great storm ravaged the land, destroying their home and all remaining survivors. Uwet-Jana now blesses Knight Orders who take care of their sick and ailing members, and ignores those who don’t, leaving them to the wrath of the Gods.

Although they are nomadic and always on the move, many Mountain Orders will refuse to leave any sick members behind. They may also keep ivory statues of Uwet-Jana in their bags as a token of good fortune. Sometimes these statues are filled with bone marrow, or have holes which make a whistling sound as wind passes through it as a reference to Ettera’s gifts. Occasionally Pike Helmets are born with an extra long ‘horn’ spike, and are considered a child/reincarnation of Uwet-Jana. Additionally, whenever it rains while the sun is still shining, it is seen as a blessing from the demigod.

_______

KIRAIARIK

Kiraiarik's Host is depicted as a small creature with a striped pelt to mirror its ancestral form, and the Helmet as an aquatic beast with long, trailing red fins. It is frequently shown twisting around the Host, sharing its blood. Kiraiarik is also often simplified as two disembodied eyes looking at each other. (And yes, the artstyle is a nod to medieval depictions of heraldic beasts!)

To understand Kiraiarik, one must be aware of how much Plains religions are intrinsically tied to concepts of evolution and paleontology.

Digression on the origins of Etteran symbiosis: 

Large stretches of Plains Knight deserts and scrublands were once submerged beneath the sea. As a result, there are countless fossil hotspots which have been unearthed over the centuries. These high concentrations of fossilised remains have lead to Plains cultures basing their religions around said discoveries. Although many features have been warped, the general timelines are strikingly similar.

For instance, a mass extinction event occurred on Ettera millions of years ago, caused by a series of catastrophic volcanic eruptions on a worldwide scale. This event is known in Plains culture as The Remaking, traditionally interpreted as the planet shedding its skin. Many species were decimated, but some groups survived; these happened to be phyla who possessed an exposed ‘Interfacer’ organ, a precursor to the specialised Integrator organ which connects the Host’s brain to the Helmet’s. Before The Remaking, there was no prior record of the deep symbiotic connection which Knights possess (scientifically deemed ‘Hyperadvanced Mutualism’). The Interfacer organ was used in the phyla for species to communicate simple stretches of data to each other, such as health and reproductive status. After the extinction, populations of these species were dwindling. To ensure their survival, an odd phenomenon occurred in which many individuals began to interface with different species who possessed the same organ - strangely enough, some were able to successfully exchange information. These individuals survived and passed on the practice to their offspring, eventually culminating in what would be discovered as a very primitive form of mutualism. Host and Helmet ancestors (pictured above) were some of the first species to achieve this.

As the planet recovered and populations increased, the relationship continued to solidify and become more complex, with symbiotic species sharing memories, emotions and complex thought. In modern times there is now an entire class of organisms on Ettera which possess an Integrator organ for Advanced Mutualism, including Knights.

Kiraiarik is said to be a manifestation of this relationship. After The Remaking, their two halves finally managed to find each other again, eternally locked in a joyous dance of love. (Side note: the love in question is not platonic nor romantic, but a deeper kind which is indescribable and not easily understood. Due to their intricate nervous systems, Knights have a higher degree of emotional intelligence and can experience sensations we would consider alien). When a Plains Knight is experiencing inner turmoil, they will often pray to Kiraiarik to restore a healthy connection. The god’s blessing is also called upon when an infant Host and Helmet first Assimilate.

Note: Many Plains ‘saints’ and deities have palindromic names which can be read both forwards and backwards, an indicator of holiness. Fun fact, the word Kiraiariku means “Your heart and mine are very old friends.”

Thank you for reading! More Knight content coming soon ;)

[hxlxnaaa]

𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐥 ─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─ 𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞

★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: a workaholic marine biologist discovers a new species that was only believed to exist within stories. while heavily focused on her new groundbreaking research, she tries to figure out her feelings for her shiny new toy.

★ 𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: first-person pov, merman rafayel, a bit of angst towards the end but nothing too crazy

★ 𝐰𝐜: 3.7k

★ 𝐚/𝐧: as a former marine bio major, i got to nerd out ab fish and raf (yay!!), set in main storyline era, but reader is obviously a biologist and not a hunter (raf is also not the sea god in this). tried to stick to lemurian lore, but kinda threw my own stuff in too. sorry if the ending seems a bit rushed, i lowkey tapped out, but overall i'm pretty proud of this!!

It was moments like these that made me love what I do.

I was in the pool room of the facility, a dome with towering window walls, and a large circular pool in the middle that connected to the sea outside. It was mainly used by me, and I was fortunate enough to be the only one with access, as I was the only field expert in the facility. I worked hands-on with marine life, collecting samples that I would send to the lab upstairs.

In the early mornings like these, I could finally just take a breath before starting my day and watch the sunrise all around me. Watch the way it would slowly illuminate the room, reflecting off the water that rippled with the morning wind. I could feel the weight lift off my shoulders because sunny, clear mornings like this made the stress of work worthwhile.

Not that I’d rather be anywhere else.

I checked the pool, seeing what creature may have found its way in. To my dismay, it was just another handful of mackerel that had probably gotten lost from its school. That’s all it’s been lately, a few strays from the euphotic zone. The bottom of the pool was an open hatch leveled with the sea, since the lowest level of the facility sat directly in the water. When motion was detected, the floor of the pool would close off, trapping whatever got caught inside. If I were lucky, maybe it would be a cute sea turtle or a shark, but those days were rare.

Disgruntled, I opened the hatch that had closed, setting the mackerel free. Inwardly I prepared for another boring afternoon, praying for another field work day when I could actually go out to sea.

-

Coming back from grabbing coffee from the breakroom and a few more test tubes from the lab upstairs, I made my way back to the pool room. From inside, I heard a loud groaning.

“OWWWW.”

Frantically I key carded my way into the room, the doors sliding open to reveal a strange man in the pool.

I stood frozen in place, not sure what free diver could have possibly found his way in, and… Why was he shirtless?

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” The man glared.

I learned from years of working in the sea to stay calm and assert dominance, so striding forward with as much grace as I could muster-

My jaw dropped.

The man had odd markings painted on his skin and face, in intricate beautiful designs. He was clad in golden jewelry, draped with a chiffon sash. Despite being fresh out of the water, his dusty purple hair was nearly dry, and I was sure he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. There was something otherworldly about him, not like anyone I had seen before.

That was when I noticed the tail.

It was amazing, and I screeched with joy. The iridescent blue scales matched the ones on his cheeks and neck, and it had to be as long as I was tall.

The man leaned against the bars on the pool, narrowing his eyes at me. “Your stupid machine hurt me.”

I stared at him laughing with excitement, “What are you?”

“Did you hear me? I said I was hurt.”

My eyes traveled over him, he didn’t appear to be hurt or even in much pain. He held out his hand, adorned with gold bangles and painted nails, “It pinched my finger.”

I shook my head, “Sorry, sometimes it malfunctions. It’s supposed to have a safety mechanism so fish can’t get caught in the doors.”

“Yes, well, you need to fix it.”

Whatever this man was, he had an attitude problem.

“I’m going back to my first question,” I circled the pool like a predator with its prey. The man-fish thing followed me with his eyes, and I stopped back in front of him. “What the hell are you?”

He rolled his eyes, “I think that’s quite obvious. I know humans aren’t that stupid.”

Stunned, I continued to stare at him. Of course I knew what a mermaid was, everyone always told stories of the ancient Lemurians, but that’s all it was. A story.

Yet, here in front of me, was a man with a fish tail.

Excitement continued to bubble up inside me and I started clapping my hands with glee, “Oh my gosh this is perfect. You’re perfect.”

He raised an eyebrow at me, “If I’m so perfect can we get rid of these prison walls? What are these even for anyways-” As he started to rattle on the bars.

“They’re so the fish can’t beach themselves when I’m not here,” Opening the gate so I could sink down to his level, I took off my shoes so I could sit on the ledge. Grabbing his face in my hands, I turned it side to side, observing closely the glitter of his scales underneath my fingers, “Your skin is so cold, yet you have hair…But you have scales… Are you a mammal, or…”

He smirked at me, taking my grabby hands away from his skin, “Y’know you could at least take me out to dinner first.”

I frowned, bothered with the interruption of my observations. Standing back up, I moved away to start grabbing collection and testing kits, “Can you hop up where I was please? Or will you need assistance? I have a sling-”

“I can do it.”

Watching as he pulled himself up and out of the water, biceps flexing as he lifted himself, I wondered how a fish could possibly get that ripped.

I sat down beside him, “You have no obvious gills…”

The man scoffed, and I put on my stethoscope. I placed it over where, if he had them, his lungs would be.

“Deep breath in,” Watching as he took an inhale through his nose, and listened as his lungs took in a breath of air.

“Lungs.” Confirming my thoughts.

Placing the drum over his heart, I realized his heartbeat was racing.

“I don’t understand-” He started, before I placed my finger over his lips.

“Shush, no talking.”

We sat there like that for a minute, before I pulled away, “120/60, is your heart rate usually that fast?”

Glaring at me, he crossed his arms, “No, I just don’t usually have random girls assaulting me.”

As I pulled out different test tubes, I rambled out questions to him that were mostly just thoughts in my head.

“Where did you come from? How do you speak English? Where do you live?”

“First of all,” He shunned away at the sight of a needle, “my name is Rafayel. Since you haven’t even bothered to ask.”

“Secondly, I came from the sea, duh. Didn’t even mean to get caught in this stupid thing…” The man winced as I pricked his finger, and I laughed, “Well you sure are compliant for being ‘assaulted’ by a stranger.”

“I have no choice! You have all these weapons for poking and prodding! Anyways, I speak every language, it comes from being Lemurian-”

I stopped, “You’re Lemurian?”

He rolled his eyes, “I thought the tail would’ve given that away.”

Silently I continued to work, thinking less about the fact that a real Lemurian was in front of me, and more about how this would affect the studies of the sea and marine life as a whole. More than 80% of the sea is unexplored, and the idea of Lemuria being part of it opens up a whole new doorway to the future of research. Not only that, but the fact that Rafayel was relatively eager to comply.

He watched me with his galaxy colored eyes, that seemed almost as wide with wonder as mine were. We seemed fascinated with each other, and maybe that’s why he was so calm about all of this. It’s not every day you’d let a stranger go full blown crazy scientist on you.

“Am I going to learn anything about you?” His question startled me, and it hadn’t even crossed my mind he knew nothing about me. My only focus had been on discovering who and what this creature was.

“Oh, I’m sorry, that’s my bad.” I introduced myself, and told him about my work as a marine biologist. He let me gripe about the lack of interesting catches in the pool as of late, and how my passion lies with whales.

“I don’t get to go out into the field often,” I explained, “but when I do it’s always the best. Being able to dive, and being out at sea for a few weeks studying the bigger or deeper animals we can’t get in the pool.”

“What about when you’re here?” Rafayel looked around the room as if it was an interesting enough place to work. To him, this probably seemed more fun than exploring the place he’s lived his whole life.

I sighed, “I’m never not here; but I mean, it’s fine I guess, it’s just you can only collect so many samples of the same few creatures before you get bored.” Smiling at him, I ran my fingers through his hair…

“That’s why you, my dear, are my new muse.”

-

To my surprise, Rafayel came back after that. I half expected him to just disappear, deeming me crazy and warning his fellow Lemurians about ‘that one weird marine biologist’. I’d kiss goodbye the breakthrough of research he could’ve given me, and go back to slaving over the same boring fish every day.

The next morning, he was in the pool bright and early, his head sitting in his crossed arms on the ledge.

He smiled when he saw me waltz in, “You’re here early.”

“I always am,” I shrugged, “do Leumrians not sleep?”

“Sometimes.”

We quickly slipped into a routine. He’d show up in the early mornings, and stay with me until I went home that night. Even if I ran out of samples to collect, waiting for lab results, he’d perch himself up on the ledge with me and watch me read old textbooks about old Lemurian history, or anatomy books about different kinds of marine mammals.

Rafayel would snatch the Lemurian books out of my hands, “You know, I can tell you everything you need to know.”

“Yes, well, you’re an unreliable narrator.” I’d grab the book back.

Though he had a tendency to exaggerate, I really did enjoy all the stories he would tell me; his tail in my lap as I’d compare it to previous studies I had done on scales, he’d go on about Lemurian people, boasting about the beauty of the city and explaining their culture. I’d sit and nod, humming responses as I carefully analyzed him.

I believed Rafayel kept coming back because he simply loved being doted over. Some part of him got off on the attention, seeing the way my face would light up when I put pieces of the puzzle together, grabbing his face in my hands with excitement.

“Raf this is amazing news!” I’d laugh, squeezing his face with one hand, shaking lab results in the air with another.

“I don’t know what you’re on about…” He’d say through smushed cheeks, but his eyes would twinkle and defy his feigned annoyance.

Sometimes, if I ran out of things to do, he’d use his ‘magical Lemurian powers’ (his words, not mine) to lure in some different creatures, giving me extra stuff to send to the lab upstairs. One day I had been giving a bit too much attention to a stingray he had summoned, and Rafayel started sighing from the other side of the pool.

“What's wrong now?” I asked, not even looking up at him, focusing my attention on extracting the stringer from the stingray's tail.

He sighed loudly again.

This time, my eyes met his, and he flopped down onto his back, pouting dramatically. Once I had gathered everything I needed, and set the poor creature free, I walked over to where Rafayel was still laying on his back, displeased.

He looked up at me through his eyelashes, and quickly turned his head to the side, “If I’m your muse then why are you giving so much attention to these random fish!”

Crouching down by his head, I poked his cheek, “You’re the one who summons them for me.”

“Well if this is the case, then I’m not gonna help anymore!” Sticking out his lower lip, Rafayel side-eyed me.

“I’m ever so sorry for doing my job, I shall never give another fish attention again besides you.”

He smirked, satisfied with my response.

Rafayel was always like this, oddly infatuated with me and jealous. He seemed pleased I didn’t have much of a social life outside of work, as my only focus was him. Often, he had a habit of prying into my thoughts, asking a million questions about myself. Some were simple, like where I went to school and what kind of music I enjoyed. Others were questions I never even thought about.

“How do you see your future?”

I snapped my head up from my book to look at him, “I’m sorry?”

He stared right into my eyes, almost as if he was trying to read my mind, “What do you see yourself doing in the future?”

“I don’t know, working probably.” I tried to shrug off the question.

“Do you ever want a family?”

“I don’t think I’d have time.”

“Well, you seem to have plenty of time for me.”

-

After that, I noticed a lot more how his eyes would follow me. How he’d rest his hand on my waist as I’d bandage him up from blood collection. The prolonged eye contact, the longing smiles, how his cheeks and ears would turn pink when I’d call him my muse.

To quote Rafayel simply, “Humans aren’t that stupid.”

I knew. I mean, I’m a scientist, I had a fair amount of common sense. Even though I spent most of my time with fish doesn’t mean I don’t know when a man likes me.

It’s not like I wasn’t attracted to him either, it would be impossible not to be. Rafayel is beautiful, just like the world that surrounds him; he’s the sea, the absolute personification of my first love. He’s spunky and brave, sassy yet kind, and despite my immediate joy about him regarding the future of marine research, it’s gone so far beyond that. My care for him has ascended past study and data, into a place I was scared to approach.

What was I supposed to do? Keep him in my bathtub for the rest of my life? A swimming pool in my backyard? This was work, this was business, this is the future; nothing is going to get in the way of that. Not my stupid feelings, nor his.

In the evening, before I was getting ready to go home, I was taking one final look at Rafayels scales on his face and neck.

“They’re so beautiful…” I muttered under my breath, inches away from his face. His scales were what fascinated me the most, despite it being the least interesting fact I had discovered about this humanoid. Somehow, a mammal having scales like this was utterly enchanting. Tracing the way they were engraved into his skin, he opened one of his eyes to look at me.

“Do you want one?” Rafayel asked.

“I wouldn’t want just one, I’d need enough to make a necklace.” Softly smiling, I playfully picked at one of them.

“Have I told you the Lemurian tradition of giving up one of our scales?”

“Mm, briefly…”

He tilted his head forward, as if he were telling me top secret information, “When we give one of our scales to someone, it bonds us for life. An eternal love that traverses through anything, whole universes.” Both eyes open now, the look in them told me I already had been given thousands of his scales.

I pushed his head back with one of my fingers, “You’re already bonded to me for life, at least until I can figure you out.”

Rafayel leaned towards me again, and I grabbed his face,

“Hold still.”

He frowned.

-

“Rafayel~” Walking into the pool room I sang out to him like usual, only to find the pool empty.

After nearly a year of seeing him every single day, for the first time, he was nowhere to be seen.

My heart sank, was it because I had rejected him?

I sat by the pool, filled with mackerel, and just waited…

And waited…

And waited…

I watched the sun begin to set through the large windows, covering the room in an orange glow. Rafayel always had a habit of complaining about the way the sun would shine in his eyes, but would quickly quiet down as he saw me stare out at the sea longingly; there was so much love in his eyes I thought it might suffocate him if he didn’t let it out.

I guess he finally had enough.

Tears threatened to pour as the sky turned dark, the room only lit up with the light of the moon.

Frustrated, I cursed him under my breath. How dare he ruin this for me? How could he let his own feelings get in the way of the bright future I had made for marine research? I wanted to hit him upside the head for giving me all of this information and data, just to up and leave, leaving my study on a cliffhanger.

How could he leave me?

The next day, for the first time in years, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to get out of bed. Let alone go to work. I hated him for making me feel this way, for breaking down my walls so much that I was ready to give up the only thing I had going for me.

I went anyway.

Walking up to the doors of the pool room, I thought about just turning around and going home. I was going to waste my time with a school of fish that I had already collected hundreds of samples from, when I could just go back to my bed and rot, grieving the future of science and my broken heart.

Just as I was about to turn on my heel and leave, I heard soft singing from inside, a voice I recognized easily.

Practically breaking the doors open, I ran inside.

Sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, reading a textbook as if nothing was wrong, was the man I wanted to strangle with my bare hands.

He looked up at me, frowning, “You’re late.”

Once the adrenaline of seeing him wore off, I noticed where he was.

Outside of the pool, in a chair, with no help, with…

“Legs!” I screeched, exasperated.

“Yeah, okay, good to see you too I guess.” Rafayel scoffed, going back to the book. This time it was my turn to snatch it out of his hands.

“Rafayel, this changes everything! All of my studies!” I put my face in my hands, shaking my head.

“That's what you have to say about this? I don’t show up to try and play hard to get, and this is what I get?” He glared at me, “You didn’t even miss me!”

“Why didn’t you tell me you could grow legs!”

“I was trying to humor you!”

I threw my hands up in desperation, pacing back and forth. Rafayel started mumbling something in a language I didn’t understand, clearly mad.

“Is that all I am to you?” He spit out at me, like his words were acid, “Some science experiment?” I shot my head in his direction, narrowing my eyes, “You know as well as I do that’s not the case.”

“If that's not the case, then why are you doing this to me? Acting like you care and there’s something here, then putting your walls back up. Am I just being manipulated for your work?” Rafayel stood up, peering down at me, “Just some testing animal that you keep here in your tank?”

“Raf…No…Of course not.” I promised, seeing the look of hurt in his eyes made my heart squeeze in guilt. Tracing the painted marking on his cheek, I noticed the scales on his face and neck were nowhere to be seen.

His demeanor quickly switched at my touch, grabbing my hands in desperation, pulling them to his chest and clutching my fingers over his heart.

“I don’t care.” Rafayel stated.

“What?”

“I don’t care what you do. You can have me for life; study me, use me, publish me for the world to see, I don’t care. I just want you in return.”

He fell to his knees, holding his hands tightly on my waist. Looking up at me with a pleading look in his eyes, Rafayel started muttering what I could only make out to be a Lumerian prayer I had read in one of the textbooks, “Please.” He cried.

“Rafayel, just stand up.”

“Please.” He repeated.

I stared down at him, “Raf-”

“Please, no, just say you want me. Say you’ll have me. Open this door, I know you’re scared, but I’ll figure it out.”

“Rafayel.”

“Put your trust in me. I’ll give you all my scales, my blood, my life, please, be mine, I’m already yours; be mine.”

I fell to my knees with him, smashing my lips onto his. Tangling my hand in his hair, the other clutching onto his sash, I felt like I was trying to kiss the life out of him. I wanted to merge my soul with his, I wanted to be a part of him, climb into his skin, breathe his air into my lungs. He tasted like the salt of the sea, his lips warm compared to the cold of his skin.

My walls crumbled, and with his hands on my skin, I realized nothing mattered more than him. No more research, no more work, just him.

I loved him so much, I could cry.

‘How do you see your future?’ He had asked so long ago.

With you, Rafayel.

Just you.

[gansey-like]

Hey so this is super scary

Meta on Tuesday announced a set of changes to its content moderation practices that would effectively put an end to its longstanding fact-checking program, a policy instituted to curtail the spread of misinformation across its social media apps.

The reversal of the years-old policy is a stark sign of how the company is repositioning itself for the Trump era. Meta described the changes with the language of a mea culpa, saying that the company had strayed too far from its values over the prior decade.

“We want to undo the mission creep that has made our rules too restrictive and too prone to over-enforcement,” Joel Kaplan, Meta’s newly installed global policy chief, said in a statement.

Instead of using news organizations and other third-party groups, Meta, which owns Facebook, Instagram and Threads, will rely on users to add notes or corrections to posts that may contain false or misleading information.

Mark Zuckerberg, Meta’s chief executive, said in a video that the new protocol, which will begin in the United States in the coming months, is similar to the one used by X, called Community Notes.

“It’s time to get back to our roots around free expression,” Mr. Zuckerberg said. The company’s current fact-checking system, he added, had “reached a point where it’s just too many mistakes and too much censorship.”

Mr. Zuckerberg conceded that there would be more “bad stuff” on the platform as a result of the decision. “The reality is that this is a trade-off,” he said. “It means that we’re going to catch less bad stuff, but we’ll also reduce the number of innocent people’s posts and accounts that we accidentally take down."

Elon Musk has relied on Community Notes to flag misleading posts on X. Since taking over the social network, Mr. Musk, a major Trump donor, has increasingly positioned X as the platform behind the new Trump presidency.

Meta’s move is likely to please the administration of President-elect Donald J. Trump and its conservative allies, many of whom have disliked Meta’s practice of adding disclaimers or warnings to questionable or false posts. Mr. Trump has long railed against Mr. Zuckerberg, claiming the fact-checking feature treated posts by conservative users unfairly.

Since Mr. Trump won a second term in November, Meta has moved swiftly to try to repair the strained relationships he and his company have with conservatives.

Mr. Zuckerberg noted that “recent elections” felt like a “cultural tipping point towards once again prioritizing speech.”

In late November, Mr. Zuckerberg dined with Mr. Trump at Mar-a-Lago, where he also met with his secretary of state pick, Marco Rubio. Meta donated $1 million to support Mr. Trump’s inauguration in December. Last week, Mr. Zuckerberg elevated Mr. Kaplan, a longtime conservative and the highest-ranking Meta executive closest to the Republican Party, to the company’s most senior policy role. And on Monday, Mr. Zuckerberg announced that Dana White, the head of the Ultimate Fighting Championship and a close ally of Mr. Trump’s, would join Meta’s board.

Meta executives recently gave a heads-up to Trump officials about the change in policy, according to a person with knowledge of the conversations who spoke on condition of anonymity. The fact-checking announcement coincided with an appearance by Mr. Kaplan on “Fox & Friends,” a favorite show of Mr. Trump. He told the hosts of the morning show popular with conservatives that there was “too much political bias” in the fact-checking program.

The change brings an end to a practice the company started eight years ago, in the weeks after Mr. Trump’s election in 2016. At the time, Facebook was under fire for the unchecked dissemination of misinformation spread across its network, including posts from foreign governments angling to sow discord among the American public.

As a result of enormous public pressure, Mr. Zuckerberg turned to outside organizations like The Associated Press, ABC News and the fact-checking site Snopes, along with other global organizations vetted by the International Fact-Checking Network, to comb over potentially false or misleading posts on Facebook and Instagram and rule whether they needed to be annotated or removed.

Among the changes, Mr. Zuckerberg said, will be to “remove restrictions on topics like immigration and gender that are out of touch with mainstream discourse.” He also said that the trust and safety and content moderation teams would be moved from California, with the U.S. content review shifting to Texas. That would “help remove the concern than biased employees are overly censoring content,” he added.

[ghostlyferrettarot]

♥︎Pick a Picture: 🦖🧡Traits of your next partner 🧡🦖

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!

🫧Join my Patreon for exclusive content!🫧

🌸If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🌸

💐Masterlist💐

🐷Pile 1:

🌸Physical characteristics:

♥︎Your next partner will probably be of medium or tall height.

♥︎They will have large eyes that stand out and have a unique shape.

♥︎They have a comfortable, but always elegant style of dressing, with a preference for neutral colors and soft fabrics.

♥︎They are likely to have light or warm-toned skin, and they take good care of themselves physically, staying in shape without being excessive.

🌸Personality:

♥︎This person will be very empathetic, with a deep emotional intelligence that makes them understand you without having to say much.

♥︎They are the kind of people who not only listen, but understand what is behind your words.

♥︎They will be serious and somewhat reserved at first, but once they trust you, they will be very loyal and generous.

♥︎They love to make small but meaningful romantic gestures.

🌸Zodiac signs:

♥︎Your next partner may have Cancer, Virgo, or Libra in their chart.

Cancer for their sensitivity and affection.

Virgo for their natural sense of organization and their way of caring for others.

Libra for their approach to balanced relationships and their desire for harmony.

🌸Song:

🦖Pile 2:

🍀Physical characteristics:

♥︎This person will have a charming smile that will make you feel good every time you see them.

♥︎They will probably have dark, straight or slightly wavy hair, perhaps short or medium-length.

♥︎Their eyes may be brown or green, they have a warmth in them💐🧡

♥︎Their style will be more casual with modern details, perhaps with some accessory that reflects their taste in style.

🦖Personality:

♥︎This person will be outgoing and energetic, they will always like to be on the move and propose spontaneous activities.

♥︎They are very happy, optimistic people and they love to laugh, which will make you feel comfortable in their presence.

♥︎A little competitive, they will always seek to stand out in what they do, but in a fun way.

♥︎They can sometimes be a little impatient, but they are very sincere and not afraid to say what they think.

🦖Zodiac signs:

♥︎They may have Sagittarius, Leo or Aries energy in their chart:

Sagittarius for their adventurous and fun nature.

Leo for their charismatic and confident character.

Aries for their impulsive attitude and energy always in action.

🦖Song:

🐯Pile 3:

🧡Physical characteristics:

♥︎Your next partner will have an angular face with marked features, but a smile that softens everything 🧡

♥︎They are likely to have blonde or light brown hair, a shade that shines in the sunlight, either short or with loose waves.

♥︎Their style is more minimalist, with comfortable but stylish clothes.

♥︎They can be thin or have an athletic physique, they always take care of themselves and have an air of self-confidence.

🧡Personality:

♥︎They are very determined, they know what they want in life and are not afraid to work towards their goals.

♥︎Attractive and captivating, they have an air of mystery that will make you want to discover them more.

♥︎They can be a bit introspective, and sometimes seem a bit distant or reserved, but when they open their heart, they are very deep and passionate.

♥︎They have a pragmatic mindset and like to have control over their environment.

🧡Zodiac signs:

♥︎Your partner is likely to have a strong influence from Scorpio, Capricorn or Aquarius in their chart:

Scorpio for their mystery and passion.

Capricorn for their seriousness and practical approach.

Aquarius for their originality and open mind.

🐯Song:

🧡Thank you for reading and tell me if it resonated🧡

[globalnewscollective]

Trump’s Greenland Invasion: The War That Could Engulf Europe

What’s at Stake?

It sounds absurd—Donald Trump launching a military invasion to seize Greenland. But given his past interest in purchasing the island and his recent rhetoric about using force to claim what the U.S. “deserves,” it’s a scenario that can’t be dismissed outright. Greenland, an autonomous territory of Denmark, holds immense strategic and economic value. If the U.S. were to invade, it would spark an international crisis, shatter alliances, and push Europe into an unprecedented security nightmare. As Trump himself put it: “The U.S. will take control of Greenland ‘one way or the other’.”

Why This Should Terrify You

An American military assault on Greenland would be nothing short of an act of war against Denmark—an EU and NATO member. This would force Europe and NATO into an impossible position: either defend Denmark and risk open conflict with the U.S. or stand by and watch as a global superpower seizes territory by force, setting a dangerous precedent.

Such an invasion would:

Destabilize the Arctic region, fueling military buildups from Russia and China.

Test NATO’s credibility—if the U.S. attacks an ally, does NATO still function?

Ignite economic chaos as global markets react to war between Western nations.

Drag European nations into an armed conflict they are militarily unprepared for.

Why This Matters to You

If you live in Europe, this scenario isn’t just some distant geopolitical chess game—it’s about your safety, your economy, and your future. A war in the North Atlantic could escalate beyond control, leading to military conscription, economic collapse, and even nuclear threats.

For young people, the consequences would be severe:

The possibility of mandatory military service if Europe is drawn into war.

Economic turmoil, making jobs, education, and stability even harder to secure.

A shift towards authoritarianism as governments seize emergency powers in wartime.

The Bigger Picture

Trump’s hypothetical invasion of Greenland wouldn’t just be about land—it would symbolize the breakdown of international law. If a Western democracy like the U.S. can invade an ally without consequence, what stops Russia from taking the Baltics? What prevents China from seizing Taiwan? This moment would mark the end of the post-WWII global order, ushering in an era where military might trumps diplomacy.

What Can You Do?

Stay Informed – Follow international news and watch for rising tensions.

Pressure Leaders – European governments must take Trump’s threats seriously and prepare diplomatic and military countermeasures.

Support Democratic Alliances – NATO and the EU must be strengthened to deter such reckless aggression.

Vote for Leaders Who Defend Peace – Elections matter. Support politicians committed to diplomacy, not reckless adventurism.

Raise Awareness – Talk about the dangers of authoritarian figures normalizing military aggression.

A war over Greenland may seem like a fantasy—but so did many conflicts before they erupted. When a leader like Trump makes threats, the world must listen. The price of ignoring him could be devastating.

[steviebbboi]

For your celebration, I would like to make a request 💙

Steve Rogers. Soulmate AU. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Go wild, hon!!! And congrats!! 🎉🎉

The Heart and the Head (Captain America/Steve Rogers x F!Vigilante!Reader)

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Captain America x F!RogueVigilante!Reader

W/C: 5.2k~

Prompt(s): Soulmate AU, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Summary: Finding your soulmate was always a dream for other people. But certainly not for you and Steve. It’s too bad that fate had other plans.

A/N: Well, lads, and my special lad @justagirlinafandomworld - this is a long time comin'. This ask was sent by the lovely Yvette back in September for my 200-follower writing challenge. It only took the new year and 100 followers later - im so sorry. The writing muse really left my soul after publishing my challenge and it was just terrible timing. Hoping the cosmos will bless me with more energy to write as I love interacting with you all on here, feel so grateful to have a community on here, and also because I still love to write for our bb Steviee Rogers. Hope this won't disappoint too much! Yvette, thanks for sending in this ask and hoping all has been well with you, lovie~

*Soulmate AU where people who have soulmates develop their soulmate’s heart rate on the inside of their wrists. It’s a light gray color that just slightly glows and when you touch it, it can fade but eventually comes back. When they meet for the first time/find each other, the heart rate burns slightly and becomes a permanent tattoo on their wrist. Doesn’t fade but turns into a faded black tattoo. 

Warnings: 18+ due to explicit language, angsty, Reader has powers that are mildly descriptive, sorta cliff hangar-y-(ish) but can be considered complete. Mild violent fight scenes and descriptions of theft/policework/etc.

Steve hasn’t ever given too much stock on finding his soulmate. To be honest, he never had the time to truly think about it. 

He knew that it would be aimless to try and find ‘them’, wherever ‘they’ may be out there. 

Even before the serum’s transformation, Steve was committed to enlisting– to contribute to keeping his country safe. It wasn’t fair for him to put his soulmate in a position to wait for him, only to find that he likely would never return from a war that was dead set on taking away lives to give more lives a chance.

Even when he fell for Peggy, even though they both knew that they weren’t rightfully each other's' ‘other half,’ he thought that maybe his fears surrounding love would end with her. But ultimately, his fears still came true. She was kept waiting for 90 years only for him to return to her, not dead, but heartbreakingly unchanged– forced to level with an incompatibility that went beyond not sharing the same heartbeat. 

Even with this knowledge, Steve celebrated the privilege of having his soulmate’s heart rate glow on his wrist. Not many people would develop the mark – he was surprised to see it still beating strong too when he woke from the ice. The knowledge that he was meant to be in this modern era oddly satisfied his deep seeded curiosity about his soulmate, not enough to go and find ‘them’, but enough where he was admittedly comforted by the jagged lines still running past his humming veins.

Despite not seeking ‘them’ out, seeing that mark was the only thing that he felt that he had to grasp onto sometimes. It felt familiar and felt like home.

One brush across his wrist was enough for him to start his day but ‘they’ never preoccupied his thoughts for too long lest he wanted to bring himself a shot of angst in the beginning of his day. 

But he couldn’t help the stray thoughts that would come sometimes when the day would be too idle. What did ‘they’ look like? They say that your soulmate smells like the scents that attract you the most. Would ‘they’ smell like fresh ambrosia? The potency of a fresh summer day? These questions stalked Steve when the days ran long and the nights became darker by each hour. Suppressing them became harder the more that he carried his mantle as Captain America. 

Witnessing his team, feeling the camaraderie, even seeing Tony and Pepper just reminded him of what he was truly living for– he wanted to serve and protect. He just never gave thought about himself, or to consider building his own life personally until after the blip. As everyone frantically looked for others and found them again, he realized the importance of being someone other than Captain America…of being important to someone. His soulmate.

But how could he place his soulmate into a position to cope with the fact that he’s not just Steve Rogers.

“Captain Rogers, an alert has just been registered within the parameters that you’ve previously requested.” The dulcet tones of FRIDAY’s Irish brogue interrupted Steve’s daydreaming.

Steve’s heart thundered in his chest in anticipation, “Thank you, FRIDAY.” More alert than ever, he pressed a few keys on his desktop to pull up a live feed of one other thing that seemed to preoccupy his mind lately. 

One thing that did come out of the Accords was that they’ve learned to finally listen. More than ever, Steve understood how important the Avengers needed to be mindful of reparations after their dangerous missions. Civil liberties should include repairing what was ruptured, and so, more efforts have gone into not only world-saving missions but also local crimes. 

There was a new vigilante on scene– every time that he’s sent an agent to apprehend said Enhanced, they seem to always slip right through their fingers. 

Until today.

Steve watched the masked vigilante calmly center themselves in the middle of the armed room – and with a gallant wave, the contents of the room that once sparkled expensive jewels and gems vanished leaving stark, blank empty display shelves. 

The robber’s face flashing a grainy smirk through the lens of the video, with one last wave of their hand, they disappear from view as if they were never even there. 

Watching the feed one more time, Steve couldn’t help but release his own smaller smirk at witnessing the thief in the act once more. FRIDAY promptly pulled up news headlines next to the feed to reveal in huge bold font:

“Brooklyn’s ‘Heart’ Makes Its Mark: Stolen Gems Become Jewels for the Local Community”

The Heart of Brooklyn. Steve had to hand it ‘em – it's not a bad name for the local hero. Certainly wouldn’t have minded one of those kinds of folks back in his day, could have saved him from getting beaten on so often.

Steve didn’t admonish ‘vigilantes’ as much as long as they carried on to do the right thing. However, the UN doesn’t seem to share that opinion – especially given the Accords. A stipulation that Steve still hadn’t had the time to fully process how he felt about it – this ‘Heart’ person committed crimes to benefit the people around them. The ‘Heart’ protected the people while he protected the world. How could he suddenly and justly prosecute when he was just like them once upon a time? 

If he were being honest, Steve held admiration for the vigilante. It didn’t seem like much would be getting in the way of their agenda to bring about their own sense of justice. 

Steve sighed as he looked at the official order of arrest for the ‘Heart’ signed and decreed by the state, along with the federal official government seal. A resolve settled in his chest as he did his best to put his unsettled feelings to the side to make space for Captain America. The ‘First Avenger’ who is sent to ultimately carry out and enforce these set of agendas that never seemed to benefit anyone else but the world. 

Though, as he geared up later that afternoon to investigate a solid lead, the admiration for this local hero didn’t seem to wane. 

Beads of sweat seemed porous as the anxiety-ridden man paced a few feet behind you before coming in close. His destabilizing emotions felt palpable despite the internal processing. The older man did a poor job of concealing his nerves, automatically putting you a bit on edge.

“Seriously, we need to move! It’s been too long– the police are on their way!” 

“Oookay, relax, hotshot. I’ve got some scatters in place to lead them in a tizzy for awhile, alright? Just keep an eye on the door fo’me.” You said with a forcibly placating tone that obviously had no effect on the semi-masked man behind you. 

You tried to work jobs on your own – it was better that way. Unfortunately, the prospects of this current lead led you to hire the most green man in NYC (as green as a thief could be) – but the score was too good to pass up. Thinking of what, who, and where this money could go was too high of a risk to lose.

Schematics of the building forced you to need a team to watch your six as you tried your hand at cracking the safe. But the poor guy’s nervous rambling and anxious pacing made it so hard for you to focus - you were spending more time calming the man more than getting the job done. 

“I’m telling ya, Heart - I think they’re onto us! We need to leave this place before we get caught.” The heat of the man’s breath hit the back of your ear from where you were kneeling. His rattling nerves are practically audible and steaming off of his looming figure, frustration fueled through you with an annoyed eye-roll.

“Listen, Mattie. Mike told me that you were good and that you were the one who wanted to come on this one. You need to calm down, buck up, and do what I need you to do- which is stand over there, keep watch and shut your mouth. Can ya do that?” Pure irritation was the only thing being emoted now in your command.

Mattie released a reluctant sigh as he petulantly stomped back towards his original position to face the windows, finally quiet for once since the entire time that they had reached the location.

“Thank you.” A reverent breath couldn’t help but escape your mouth at the newfound relief in the sudden, yet much needed, quiet. 

You were only a few more notches until you would be inside. When you felt the weight of the door give, your lips curved upwards in victory. Tilting the handle, you opened the steel opening…to reveal nothing inside of the safe. 

“What the fuck?!” Your thoughts were intrusive and scrambled as your mind tried to process the emptiness in front of you. You were so confused, the intel that you had seemed so solid! Unless…

Your whole body tensed as you stiffly glanced behind you to see Matt, who hadn’t noticed the newfound tension– too preoccupied with his own. He resumed his pacing and was anxiously looking out the window with angsty glances here and there. 

Turning back to the empty safe, you mutedly closed the heavy door as quietly as you could before calmly standing up from your posed position. 

“Remind me, ‘Mattie’ – what’s the color of the day?” Stoicism and a cold fury radiated off of you in waves, making the man across from you sweat profusely. His face turned pale as he responded dumbly, “Pur–uhm, huh?”

The pallid man’s answer infuriated you even more as your theory just became confirmed. You knew that the cops usually gave each other a code to indicate their undercover status - this guy must be so (ironically) green that he basically gave it away with his anxious pacing and his near-answer. 

A fierce growl left your snarled lips, “This is a fucking set-up!” Gathering your duffle in a rushed frenzy, you turned to the revealed, fumbling cop to state, “Tell ‘Mike’ or whoever you actually report to that we’re through, Officer.” 

The undercover mess was speed talking his excuses at you as you continued packing your duffle to get out of there when all of a sudden, tear gas canisters splintered through the glass windows. The shards sprinkled everywhere around you as you attempted to flinch away from the shattered pieces. 

Quickly crouching down behind a large cabinet, you could distantly see a blur of black tactical uniforms surrounding the darkened warehouse. Trying to control your breathing, you muffled a surprised shriek from hearing the distinctive multiple shouts, “POLICE! FREEZE NOW!” 

Your mind was in a frenzy but your body was in a frozen state, until it forcibly stumbled away from you as another canister landed in front of your feet. Releasing a loud curse, you panicked and ran into view. Ignoring the spearing voices shouting different commands, you gave a sharp wave of your hand, coughing up a lung from all the smoke invading your system but achieved your goal by vanishing from their naked view.

Although you had ensured your invisibility, you didn’t account for all of the smoke that was being inhaled, causing your coughing fit to exponentially expand. You also didn’t account for the glass that was suddenly in your face, successfully blinding you as you protected your face from the sudden crash. The brashed cuts of glass caused by the crash landing of something, or rather, someone that you would never have expected to see in the flesh: Captain America.

Attempting to muffle your coughs once more, the visual clarity of the renowned Avenger was hard to miss. His dark blue stealth suit on display and the States stripes in all of its glory had you gobsmacked with your mind running rampant once more.

You didn’t realize that your recent…behaviors would’ve ever caught the attention of someone so high up. The Accords were criminalizing all and any Enhanced beings, but you weren’t hurting anyone! The communities deserve more than what they’re receiving from state and federal governments. There wasn’t enough money, food – people needed help. 

For some reason, as you looked at Captain America, the hero that stood for the hearts and wellbeing of others, who stood there scanning the room for his enemy, for you– the hero hunting down those who he swore to protect– a sudden rush of hot indignation filled your entire body. 

How dare he stand there? How dare he use his gifts to triumph over the needs of others? How dare he?

A harsh snarl left your lips as your body reacted first, any sense or voice of reason leaving your mind. Your feet were suddenly rushing over to the super soldier, who heard your exclamation as soon as it left your mouth. Steve’s preparedness in your capture heightened his other senses as he listened for your rushing footsteps towards him. 

His shield at the ready, and with the smoke in the air aiding his instincts, he looked out for the sudden brush of fog and lept to action in blocking a sudden thunderous blow to his face. In the midst of throwing a vicious punch, ignoring the blinding pain to your fist from the hard metal’s impact, shock settled on your face on how easy it was for him to dodge your advances- but it didn’t stop you. Blind anger fueled in your veins and energy surged through you once more.

You and Steve proceeded to engage in a dangerous dance, with your relentless energy and forceful strikes attempting to land on his physical body. Steve was doing a careful job of listening to the brush of air as you attempted another punch, being attentive to the electric charge that only seems to be apparent when in close proximity with another human being, the swoosh of moving white fog, heavy landing steps of your physical presence. 

It became clear that despite you being invisible, your current environment was destined to fail you. Your muscles ached in pain as your breathing became heavier, exhausted panting leaving you even more breathless. After one more lousy and tired punch, Steve’s mindful gaze attested a faint outline of a physical body heightened by the fading smoke in the room. With a determined lock of his jaw, Steve quickly crouched down to land a quick swipe at your legs. 

Not expecting the swift move, you yelped in pain as his strong boots connected with your ankles. It was as if you were in slow motion with the way that you landed on your back. Muscles screaming in pain with a sharp ache on the back of your head pulsing in agony. Strength was distancing itself slowly but surely as your vision started fading. 

Laying flat on the floor, all you could make out was Steve’s bouldering figure standing over you, and all that left your mouth was a tormented whisper, “Traitor.”

As you passed out, whether from the pain or fatigue from your fighting blows, Steve only furrowed his brows in confusion from hearing your last words. All he knew was that his curiosity for you grew larger as he finally met the Heart of Brooklyn.

Both of you also neglected to pay attention to a telling zap that ran throughout both of your forms the moment that Steve’s body collided with yours. It’s easy to chalk it up to the familiar aches and pains of a fight.

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. 

You came to in the quinjet, the flying saucer already up in the air with the way that you fumbled slightly on the metal bench. Blearily, you looked down to take in the feelings of your arms across your chest and your fists being swaddled in strong, metallic cuffs. The silver wristlets looked like they were made for something stronger than you, that’s for sure. But – they did the trick. With these cuffs on, you weren’t able to access your powers. With another flick of your wrist, you could’ve been invisible from peering eyes and out of these cuffs in a flash.

“Just remain calm, Heart, and there shouldn’t be any issues.” A deep-baritone voice cut through the frenzy of observations running through your mind. 

Blinking fiercely through the blurriness of fatigue, your eyes centered on the domineering force that was Captain Steve Rogers. The fury of the past day started to thunder the looming clouds that were your thoughts – feeling stupid is all you could center your anger into. 

You felt stupid that you allowed greenies to intervene in today’s mission. You felt stupid that you even trusted the people who decided to come along under the guise of ‘’the cause’’. And, you felt stupid that you even thought that you could take on Captain fucking America in his tight spandex outfit. His limb features and muscular figure were cut like no other. It became clear to you that images of the First Avenger could not compare nor embody the pure visceral power that this dude emotes in person. 

Sitting tall and straight, his helmet emphasized his determined blue eyes as they peered over your rigid position only to flit over the jet in wariness. It was like he was waiting for something else to happen with you on the plane, always monitoring.

You couldn’t help the derisive scoff that flew from your mouth, “The forever stiff and vigilant soldier for Big Brother, huh? Psh, pathetic.”

Your comment seemed to break his hard exterior as a tiny glint of– what seemed to be guilt, shined over his cerulean blue eyes. The glint disappeared though as soon as it came in, “Those are some abilities you got there. What else can you do?” The question seemed non-objective, though the curious tilt in his voice made the hint of warning glaze over his voice all the same.

Meeting his warning with your own blaze, you leaned in to whisper tauntingly, “I guess you’ll just have to find out.”

After hours of interrogation from countless federal agents, you were able to exasperate the last one with a long exalted sigh of frustration and the metal door slammed after their departure from the cold, steeled room. 

Your hands were still bound together uncomfortably so that your fingers interlocked together, creating the inability for you to snap out of your cuffs. Their analytics team detailed that a wave of your hand is one of the triggers to your abilities…giving you information that they don’t seem to be aware of all of your abilities. And you’d like to keep it that way. 

Short of whistling and popping noises with your lips out of boredom, the agency seemed to have given up and have finally sent in the big guns.

Ardently groaning your frustration, “UGH - finally! Captain Rogers, we meet once more. I guess your agents have finally had enough of my poor rendition of Uptown Girl till they put me back onto your plate, huh?”

Just wearing his suit, shield and helmet out of sight, the super soldier still embraced intimidation within itself by just baring his broad shoulders out a bit more as he stood before you. A beige manila folder in his grip as he clasped the belt around his waist. 

Trying not to look at the area south of his belt, you distractedly pointed it out, “That looks ominous.” 

A slight smirk fell on his pink lips, “It’s meant to be. You got some heart, kid.” 

You couldn’t help the weathered chuckle that erupted from your throat, “Wow, you really are as old as they say, huh ‘Cap’?” 

Blatantly ignoring your jab, Steve released a resounding sigh as he took the empty metal seat across from you. Setting the folder down with a sharp slap, he proceeded to read out your file. 

“What we know so far is your alias being measured by the media as, “the Heart”. Real name- unknown. From what our intelligence could gather, you’re an Enhanced with tactile and perception control—“ 

“Argh— blah, blah, blah, blah,” you interrupted with an exasperated roll of your eyes, “Just give it to me straight, Captain, what am I looking at?” 

If Steve seemed perturbed by your bluntness, he didn’t show it. Only gave you a knowing and understanding look with his eyes, “You may not be looking at anything if you’d just be honest with me. Drop the snark for once and tell me what you want. The Accords are here to protect not just others, but as well as you. I can’t help you do that if you’re hiding underneath all of the smoke and dagger.” 

A lump formed in your throat from how compassionate he sounded. If he was being sincere, it was convincing enough to bring a small glisten of tears in your eyes (not that you’d ever let them fall). 

With a clenched jaw and a speculative squint, you gazed back at Steve and met his compassion with curiosity. “Why would you want to help me?” 

Steve gave you another tired and soft smile, “Why wouldn’t I help you?” 

The barriers inside that were locked and solid lowered just a bit at the genuine tone to his voice. You couldn’t help but notice the softening around his eyes, or the long eye lashes that enhanced his stern looking features. But his smile, it felt so open. Suffice to say, it wasn’t what you were expecting from the super soldier that you criticized as a defector. 

Feeling your own features soften, your tense posture relaxed unconsciously as you leaned back into the discomfort of the metal chair. The cold parts of your cuff seemed to seep into your skin as you accepted this moment for what it is: a truce. 

Steve seemed to catch the moment your guard went down and mirrored your physical ease by leaning back into his own chair. Soft smile and gentle eyes still intact as he cut into the retired silence, “So, all cards on the table. What can I help you with?” 

Looking back into his soft gaze, you suddenly felt the air stifle around you and could barely keep eye contact with the man. Your voice was quiet as you spoke, “I only want to help people. While the Avengers are saving the world, there’s barely anyone around to help the world also save itself. Neighborhoods, communities— people are suffering.” Anger fueled through you as your words haunted the steel room, “People are going hungry and no one is doing anything about it. I got sick of waiting around for someone to do something— so I did instead.” 

A reverence caught in your gaze as you felt your heckles arise, “I’ve only done what was right. If I could do something with what I have, then maybe, I can restore some good into the world.” 

All the while, Steve hadn’t moved a muscle. Just silently listening and taking in your intentions and reasons for your “considered crimes”. There was something about the anger and rage that disguised something that Steve was all too familiar with— powerlessness. 

He understood what it felt like to be without resources. Memories flooded his mind of moments before the war, gaining food scraps from Bucky’s family as he could barely make dinner for the day. He remembered how it felt for his stomach to make unnatural noises of hunger and to feel a desperation for change. 

Powerlessness leads to motivation. To change. He knew it was possible— but he hasn’t seen it for some time, he realized. 

Until you. 

A stark realization embodied him as he took in your ambitious gaze and clenched jaw. A fierce embodiment of someone who understood their own capabilities and the willingness to do something good with it. In the most non-egocentric way, Steve saw himself in you. Not the broader back soldier, but the scrawny kid from Brooklyn who enjoyed stencils and baseball. He saw the version of himself that he had just now found again, through you. 

Cutting through the thick silence, each of your brains processing the sudden change in air, something seemed to resonate and click with Steve the minute that his eyes met yours once more. 

With a determined nod, he stood up and took out a small metallic pencil-shaped device and leaned forward to uncuff you. You looked at him in confusion and weariness as you felt the cuffs pressure release and you grip your wrists with a protective hiss. Rubbing the insides for comfort, you failed to notice the zap feeling once again as you touched your mark- chalking it up to the cuff release (again— spoiler alert: it definitely wasn’t that either). 

“Are you sure you won’t regret doing that?” You asked deliberatively. Steve only looked down at you with heavy silence. Meeting his gaze hesitantly, you were met with an instantaneous warmth that felt so jarring that your own eyes widened in surprise. His eyes were darkened with a certain cloud of suspicion and unknowing in the last few hours – but right now, it was colored with a vibrant hue of faith, as if he could see right through you. 

Before you could mask it, you felt your cheeks redden as you flushed under his familiar sight. You couldn’t deny that the super soldier was gorgeous…and tall..and had long eyelashes –

“Get up.” Steve interrupted your intrusive thoughts with a firm command. 

“And go where?” Getting up slowly, you felt weirdly nervous about leaving the metal-boxed room. The room that was your prison had felt strangely comforting. Under this new territory with Steve, you suddenly felt that the outside world was something new, and that you had to be ready to explore. 

As if sensing your newfound fear, Steve sent an easy going smile your way that you could only describe as a boyish grin.

“To go do some good.”

You couldn’t describe it but your entire body just felt off. You figure it must have been those cuffs that they put on you - maybe some weird Stark tech. Walking down the sleek hallways to the large gymnasium, you did your best to put your odd body aches to the side and reflected upon the past week. 

Lo and behold, the moment that you left the room, you were met with the rest of the Avengers and a welcome package to the team. You initially rejected it (not that they really let you - it was either join or go swimming with the sharks at the Raft) but Steve insisted that you had potential to grow - to continue your work, to help others and help the local communities that needed it. He mentioned how you were right – the Avengers couldn’t be everywhere. They needed people on hand, on the ground to help fight the good fight where they couldn’t.

The prospects of being an Avenger certainly incentivized you. You never thought you’d be able to live up to its name, but realized that if Steve was able to see something in you that you couldn’t, it may be worth a shot. As much as you despised him when you were off the radar, there was something that cleared in your vision and you quickly were able to learn that the team certainly didn’t unanimously agree with the dynamics of the Accords. You also learned that Steve did his best to keep everyone together, and that he also genuinely just wanted to help. 

Reluctantly, you realized - you admired him.

There was something about Steve that you found honorable. Was he handsome? Sure. Muscle-y? Sure. Light blue eyes that you could drown in? Perhaps. But it wasn’t just his looks that drew you in. The energy felt like something deeper and more ingrained…you respected him. And his capacity to understand that underneath it all, people were just people, and that we need each other. 

You’d like to think you could be like him some day. Or be on top of him, or under him…– 

‘’Stop that!’’ The parts of you that felt attracted to Steve certainly became louder as you spent more time with Steve. There was just something about him that you couldn’t seem to just put away. 

You’ve been training with the team, mostly Natasha, to become more equipped in hand to hand combat. Today, you were pleasantly surprised by the screens that greeted you at the gym. Natasha waved over to you and gestured you over with a curious smirk. 

“Hey!” Flushed from being lost in your thoughts, you stood next to Natasha reverently while staring at the computer screens in front of you. “What’s all this?”

“Penny for your thoughts, Ghost?” Natasha’s grin was unfaltering as she cued in your new nickname. Ghostface - slipped right out of Stark’s smug mouth after watching the footage of some of your enhanced abilities. Ever since then, the team has taken a liking to the codename. 

Rolling your eyes good-naturedly, you replied dryly, “Oh - the infamous Black Widow is asking me a question - your interrogation skills are quite unmatched. But I think I’ll keep my thoughts to myself.” 

Letting out a small chuckle, she turned back towards the screen and nodded for your attention, “I wanted you to take another look at the footage from the warehouse–,”

“Ughhh, do I have to? Why are you rubbing it in my face? I get it - Steve is way better at hand to hand combat but to fair – “ you interrupted childishly only for her to swat her hand in your face to disturb your complaints. “Relax, that’s not why. I want you to analyze your footwork in comparison to some of the skills that we’re learning right now. I want you to point out anything different about your moves.”

Sighing petulantly, you crossed your arms and proceeded to watch the grainy camera footage from Steve’s suit. After a few minutes of watching Steve kick your ass, you pointed out a few steps that you felt that you can do differently now. Natasha seemed to agree and continued to encourage you to point something out, but this time in your upper body movement. After a few more minutes of silence, you looked closer at your arms and noticed something peculiar right as Steve basically tripped you.

Brows furrowed in confusion, you gestured to the video once more and asked Natasha to go back a few seconds. It was hard to see, but you could see the sliver of your wrist exposed in the video. The quality wasn’t the best, despite the Stark tech, as Steve was moving pretty fast. 

Your heart stuttered as your brain attempted to process what you were seeing on the screen. Something that clarifies the ‘’off’’ feeling from the past few days, something that made sense of the dysregulation in your body– without thinking, you shoved Natasha’s bent form from the controllers and proceeded to go back and forth between seconds in the footage.

Natasha only frowned in confusion from the move and allowed her eyes to match your suddenly focused gaze. What she saw made her eyes widen in slight surprise. 

The height of both of your fixations was the slight glow of your soulmate mark on your wrist suddenly fading as Steve’s legs intercepted yours. Although faint, the mark’s glow disappearing from your wrist was too clear to dismiss as simply the trick of the light. 

Almost in fascination, you felt your body disconnect from yours as you found yourself unable to deny what you were seeing. How did you not notice it before? 

Steve Rogers was your soulmate. 

The following words escaped before you could even process them: “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

A/N: DON'T HATE ME! lol, I thought that I'd do a different spin on the Soulmates!AU where Reader is kinda left with this surprise. Wonder how Steve noticed his mark also fading away 👀 figured this would leave enough room to continue this universe if we did enjoy it. Ngl, not the biggest fan of this work -- I'm sure it needs some editing but tbh, I didn't wanna leave y'all hanging anymore! It's been too long since its been asked and I wanted to be able to publish it so it can finally be read! Regardless, hope you enjoyed it a bit and please leave your thoughts, lads <3 ta, for now.

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[tryingahandinholdingapen]

unless explicitly stated otherwise, please assume that all my warring clans era aus include Hashirama and/or Tobirama working towards overthrowing Senju Butsuma and being absolutely justified in doing so

anyway. tobiizu au in which they're both sort of using each other but they both benefit so it's fine. specifically Izuna is like wow I'm so good at this we'll totally be able to defeat the Senju with this info/help! we've already managed to separate them from some of their allies! meanwhile Tobirama is there like I'm going to get a good mark in betraying my clan, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve-

(He's using Izuna to get rid of Butsuma's loyalists and/or members of his clan that can't be trusted/are far too casual about committing crimes that Tobirama and or his brother are Not Cool With. The allies that Izuna destroyed Senju relations with were actively betraying the Senju clan anyway but Tobirama hadn't been able to convince Butsuma that a) he was telling the truth about the betrayal and b) they should break that alliance off before it irreparably fucked them over)

Arguably Tobirama is kind of winning at the whole game of manipulating each other because like he's getting everything he wants, politically speaking. The Senju aren't exactly in a better situation than before he started leaking info to/helping Izuna (Butsuma's loyalists + war criminals or not, fucking over or outright killing members of your own clan is still not optimal) but nor are they in a worse situation (a lot of problems are being solved. mostly by telling the Uchiha "look at this shiny important thing" to get them to destroy whatever the problem is, admittedly). When Tobirama's finished with Izuna, Butsuma will be dead, Hashirama will be able to smoothly take over the Senju clan without significant loss in power/resources/reputation, and then Hashirama will be able to properly seek peace with the Uchiha who might even accept because they probably feel like they're winning/the Senju are losing

This isn't to say that Izuna is LOSING at the manipulation game, exactly? Like he may be unknowingly helping the Senju clan, but he's also NOT in any way fucking over his own clan, if anything he is also helping his own clan and like once they make peace (he will probably pitch a bit of a tantrum about this and possibly have to be bribed with a marriage to Tobirama or something, but it WILL be happening Izuna get over it-) any advantage the Senju have will kind of also be the Uchiha's by extension. So as far as the political + resource etc side of things go, Tobirama is definitely winning, but Izuna isn't quite losing

Also I think Izuna is definitely winning on a more personal level lmao he essentially has Tobirama wrapped around his finger by the end of all this. He's getting a lot of wins as far as their relationship kind of stuff and also getting Tobirama to do random tasks for him/his clan and prove his devotion/loyalty like noooo of course Tobirama isn't secretly a double agent for the Senju whatttt look he did all your random tasks and he loves you so much! So yeah Izuna is winning on the personal front. Though at least some of the time I think Tobirama definitely knows that Izuna is like, blatantly angling for something and plays along anyway despite not actually falling for it, which actually pleases Izuna even more

Hashirama does not know any of this is happening btw. Madara does, and most of the Uchiha for that matter (Izuna couldn't avoid fessing up to where he was getting all the info/how he was achieving things at a certain point) but Hashirama? Hashirama is in the middle of staging a coup + building up his own power base whilst simultaneously trying to convince Butsuma he's totally still loyal to him. Hashirama trusts Tobirama entirely so when Tobirama was like "don't worry Anija, you focus on our allies and I'll focus on dealing with our enemies" Hashirama essentially just went "okay <3 yay <3" and didn't think of it again for just, ages. If his brother says he's dealing with it he will! Tobirama is so smart and sneaky after all-

Can't decide if it's funnier if in the end it comes out that Hashirama had absolutely no clue what Tobirama was doing for him or if he's in like peace negotiations with the Uchiha and just rolling with it like yes obviously I knew about that thing my baby brother did last summer he acted with my full authority at all times (has no idea what event Madara is even referring to)

It's important to me that at some point when they're still Very Much at war and the Uchiha don't yet know what's going on with Tobirama seemingly switching sides, Izuna goes on a solo mission. Tobirama is also on a solo mission (may be a fake self-assigned mission or he may have just completed the actual mission way faster than anticipated and then not gone back to the clan yet after finishing) so he could meet Izuna. A couple of Uchiha had had another mission in vaguely the same area as Izuna and so decided "hey since we're meant to finish our missions around the same time why don't we find Izuna and all go home together?"

And that's how one or more unprepared Uchiha walk into a room only to see the White Demon of the Senju sprawled at their heir's feet on a rug by the fire, looking completely unphased by Izuna fucking with his hair/outfit whilst he recites Senju patrol routes (???) and weak points of the agreement the Senju have with an allied clan (?!?!) and their heir looks very pleased with himself but...not like any of this is a surprise occurence?...

Izuna and the Demon seem to notice them at the same time and the Senju cuts off his recitation in favour of them both staring at the Uchiha squad. Who stare back. After a few moments the Uchiha squad kind of awkwardly give a quick bow to Izuna and blurt out something about "nice to see you're fine after your mission see you back at the compound UH bye!" and just. Close the door and leave

(They can just about hear Tobirama resuming his recitation as they exit the building)

(what the hell)

This au ends with Konoha being formed partially on the basis of a marriage alliance (Izuna demands Tobirama be given to him and his request is basically immediately granted (Hashirama still doesn't 100% know all of what's been going on but he HAS managed to extract the information from Tobirama that he's been sort of kinda courting Izuna for years and the Uchiha had technically helped make peace, and that Tobirama "wouldn't object" if Izuna really wanted Tobirama's hand which from Tobirama is BASICALLY a full on romantic proposal with fireworks and all. If that's what his baby brother wants then that's what he gets!! Hashirama is so happy everyone's getting their happy ending <3) and it's all good

It should also be noted here that the Uchiha clan as a whole are mildly bewildered by this. Like they're not going to SAY anything because this works for them but... The Senju want to give them/Izuna Tobirama? Really? Are we just, ignoring the bit where Tobirama was actively betraying their clan for literal years, via Izuna? Okay then...

(The Senju don't care or are actively happy about it because at this point they're mostly composed of people who either simply do not give a shit about politics in general or the whole "betrayal" thing in particular, or like Hashirama view the "betrayal" as Tobirama actually doing the ultimate risky play to free them from Butsuma's Terrible leadership and bring them peace. The few dissidents are for the most part smart enough to keep their fucking mouths shut and those that don't learn quickly)

Anyway Konoha is set up with Senju and Uchiha being equal to each other (and other clans are also there + equal etc but that's not that important rn) and it's all good it's nice. There's actually very little trouble from warmongers or anything in either of the two founding clans? In the Senju they're mostly either afraid of retaliation (they're Aware of a tiny bit about what happened to Butsuma's followers okay) or have reluctantly been won over to "wow we're doing better than we were before, and I guess Hashirama+Tobirama aren't as bad as I thought...okay. I don't like this but I can live with it and see what they do next. On the Uchiha side of things, those who are still like "grrrrr kill all Senju blah blah blah" are mostly under the impression (due to the whole "betrayal" thing, the fact that Hashirama handed his brother over to him, etc) that they've actually successfully subjugated the Senju and the morons just don't realise it. This is factually incorrect but everyone else in the village has decided it's easier to not correct them about this because then the bitter bastards might start actually causing problems for peace; let them live in their delusions

Izuna gets Tobirama as his wife and absolutely tries to push any and every boundary and just generally get his way/manipulate Tobirama into doing v minor but vaguely demeaning or inconvenient things like, all the time. Izuna is NOT as subtle about this as he thinks he is but he will likely never learn this because Tobirama indulges him constantly; he generally finds Izuna's antics to be somewhere on a scale from "this could not matter less to me and therefore I don't mind" to "sexy" to "that's really funny actually" to "that's kind of cute in a stupid way/the same way a v small child or dumb animal is"

People who care about Tobirama (for example Mito, Hashirama, Touka) MIGHT be more concerned about the fact that Izuna and Tobirama are barely even trying to hide the fact that their relationship isn't exactly typical/normal nor healthy....except they both seem really happy? Also they RECOGNISE that look of fond/amused indulgence on Tobirama's face, tho admittedly previously when they saw it it was usually aimed at like, his summons or young students or something, but still. Clearly he's not actually doing anything he doesn't want to do or that distresses him so they'll leave their brother to his bizarre relationship

(Also the occasional sheer Glee or look of mischief or smugness on Izuna's face is kind of funny. He looks like a cat that Got Away With It it's hilarious)

People on Izuna's side of things (Madara, Hikaku, etc) are considerably less at ease about this because they do Not know Tobirama enough to fully understand his expressions or realise that half the time he's knowingly going along with Izuna's bullshit for his own amusement/pleasure/curiosity. This relationship is clearly neither normal or healthy! But like, IZUNA is clearly very, very happy and is perpetrating most of the unhealthy/obsessive/weird bullshit, meanwhile Tobirama+his people don't seem to be objecting to any of this so...uh...what can they even do here??? It would be weird to try to 'save' Tobirama from Izuna right? They shouldn't do that. Or maybe they should?... They're all kind of stressed about it and Madara in particular is also just Extremely Uncomfortable bc I've decided now that Izuna+Tobirama have not actually moved out (yet?) and so he's witness to just, so much more of their bullshit than anyone else and he wants NONE OF IT thanks

[obsidian-pages777]

Pick a Card: Your upcoming revenge arc [jennifer's body theme]

Left to Right= Pile 1->Pile 3

Introduction

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This is a sweet reading on how you will have your- come up- in your future life journey. Enjoy!

Pile 1

Past: Three of Pentacles

This card suggests a period of collaboration and hard work. You've been dedicated to your craft, honing your skills, and working well with others to achieve a common goal. You might have had challenges with regards to career developments. Maybe it is something out of your control that caused this. You have been undermined regarding your skills because of this.

Present: Knight of Pentacles

Currently, you're in a phase of steady progress. The Knight of Pentacles represents diligence, responsibility, and persistence. You're putting in the necessary effort and staying focused on your long-term goals.

Future: The World

This card signifies completion, achievement, and fulfillment. Your efforts in career development will pay off, leading to a sense of accomplishment and the opening of new opportunities. You will feel a sense of a massive boost to your self esteem when you achieve success in this one career goal or project that you are working on. You will receive a public accolade in terms of career and you will feel confident in yourself and your skills.

================================================================================================

Pile 2

Past: Ten of Swords

This card indicates a painful ending, likely a betrayal or significant emotional hurt. It represents the culmination of a difficult period, leaving you feeling wounded but also marking the end of this chapter. A specific person or people might have caused you a lot of pain and you might have felt betrayed and disrespected.

Present: The Star

In the present, The Star brings hope, healing, and renewal. You're finding inspiration and regaining your sense of self. This card suggests a time of recovery and the beginning of new possibilities. You have created a new sense of self and managed to continue to create a beautiful environment for yourself. You are magnetizing good luck right now.

Future: The World

The World represents new beginnings and adventures and the closing of a past cycle. Moving on from your past relationship will open you up to fresh experiences and opportunities. Embrace the journey ahead with a sense of optimism and curiosity. Since you are creating an end of an era in terms of your previous relationships and life, you are opening yourself up to new a timeline. This new space created for yourself is a whole 180 turn in comparison to how you were living before. Get ready!

================================================================================================

Pile 3

Past: Five of Swords

This card represents conflict and discord. You may have experienced misunderstandings or felt undermined by those close to you, leading to tension and isolation. Discord in terms of family and friends might have caused you a lot of turmoil.

Present: Two of Cups

The Two of Cups signifies harmony, partnership, and mutual understanding. You're currently in a phase of reconciliation, rebuilding trust, and strengthening your relationships with family and friends. You are learning to build relationships up while taking accountability for how you behave. You might be trying to allow people in your life to understand you better. It might not be easy currently.

Future: Ten of Cups

This card is the epitome of emotional fulfillment and harmony in relationships. Your efforts to connect deeper with loved ones will result in lasting happiness and a renewed sense of community and support. Despite things not being easy to get to that state, you would still get there as you would be making calculated communicative efforts. You will rebuild yourself and the life around you to a better level. You will receive a sense of appreciation from those around you. Your actions will be filled with purpose as well.

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[myfriendpokey]

Talking About Some Horror Comics

(Image: Richard Sala, "The Bloody Cardinal")

On Cohost a while back i wrote a little bit about comicbook inspirations for Anthology Of The Killer - I might repost it when that site goes down at the end of the year, but until then you can read it here: https://cohost.org/thecatamites/post/7154072-i-wanted-to-write-so

For part two I wanted to talk more about horror comics in particular.

I probably wouldn't have gotten into horror at all if it weren't for comics. Horror comics can feel like a "cold" take on a very "warm" genre - indebted to and playing off of a familiar ground of horror films, but without film's tendency towards emotionalism or immediate effects... Working on a far more compressed scale than even the cheapest 80-minute b-movie, amplifying abruptness or abstraction into something dreamlike and strange. And with the great advantage of taking place inside a totally constructed world. It's not strictly a horror comic but something like Jess Johnson's "Nurture The Devil" is unsettling in part because it's hard to place in relation to either a real world or the world of dreams - whether it's a stylised version of some more familiar content or whether the stylisation is a literal depiction of what's happening.

A comic as physical object can also be a relic - not something we experience in one go, rather something to pick up, put down, sift through, read and reread, with new meanings emerging from a mass of material of which the supposed narrative may not be the most important part. The dreadful, knife-wielding maniacs from Al Columbia's Pim & Francie are familiar figures, but seeing their obsessive repetition across the different collected scraps of abandoned or submerged narratives changes them into dream symbols rather than direct threats.

I like a lot of comics that draw on horror imagery - Mark Beyer and Rory Hayes, A. Degen's "Junior Detective Files" and Daria Tessler's "Cult Of The Ibis", Nicole Claveloux and Imiri Sakabashira. But I wanted to try writing here about some comics that made me interested as horror in a genre itself.

Junji Ito: you may not have heard about this guy.... I actually hadn't read any of his work before the Viz edition of Uzumaki a while back, and the sense of being late to the party didn't make it feel less of a revelation. I think part of it was the sense of comics that were totally distinct while at the same time feeling like they were working entirely IN a genre tradition rather than against it; there was a sense of almost impersonal originality in their laconic and assured pacing, the clarity of line and their lack of need to give too much away, which suggested they must be drawing from and distilling a whole surrounding tradition. And this impression persists even when you follow up on other horror manga and the stated influences and find these comics still feel mysterious even in that context. One of his best effects is a willingness to seem more anonymous than he is, or to give the impression even in his most original effects that he's just flatly transcribing a readymade idea or image. And I think this is his biggest influence on internet-era horror, which has tended to disguise itself (even more than is typical for horror) in anonymous and generic forms, a surface impersonality: as if everyone aleady knew about this, except you.

But what I do feel gets underplayed about his work in particular is also how funny it is, and how indebted to comedy timing. Compare the monstrous reveal in an Ito story with one by Umezu (RIP) - in the latter the frame is pushed right in on someone's face, eyes bulging, screaming, the image repeats, gets even closer, we're in that portion of a nightmare where we feel immobilized by horror, stuck in a pit that we can never escape. The same moment in an ito story tends to be one of ironic equipoise - when the horrible thing finally appears it's depicted clearly, powerfully, it's almost this beautiful and static image. The onlookers stand frozen at the edges of the frame, mid movement, eyes wide but expression not yet changed, a single drop of cartoon sweat on the edge of their heads. There's a contrast between the assurance of the thing and the hapless rabbitlike fascination of the character regarding it, who becomes, like us, an aesthetic spectator - for a moment. When the spell breaks, when we see them screaming, running, it's comic because something of that mood of still contemplation that remains intact. Their eyes bulge, their mouths scream, but they're rushing backwards, away from the panel, and we regard their fear with the same attitude of detached interest with which we saw the full outline of the monstrous shape a panel earlier. To me this sense of humour is apiece with the disconcerting flatness of his approach to setting, in which the usual horror sets - gothic, extraordinary places outside the everyday - feel replaced by something anonymous and shabby, a kind of just-expired contemporary. The monsters rarely need to be explained; it's as though our own world has gradually become too worn down to have any purchase or power on these creatures of dreams that walk the landscapes and alleys with impunity.

Richard Sala - sometimes the artists I end up most fascinated by are ones I spend a while bouncing off of first. I read a few Richard Sala stories over the years and for a while I didn't know what to make of them. Great art, stylised and weird, but as narratives they were hard to place - too stylised and exaggerated to feel like straight horror but too obviously serious about and committed to those genre elements to feel like mere parody or pastice. I think I needed to read Uzumaki before I could get what he was doing, because it relies so much on a sense that genre horror was worth taking seriously; seriously enough to treat neither as a punchline or a heritage piece, something you could bring your own offbeat sensibilities and aesthetic to without condescending to the form, because there was something there. In some great interviews he did with the Comics Journal he was explicit about what he valued in the form: the dreamlike and symbolic qualities of b-movies, the ritual and fetishistic nature of repetition, the way pulp artists in an overlooked form could evolve a private vocabulary of forms, structures and images which worked like surrealist procedures to be mined and combined for new discoveries over time.

He was also interesting to me for the way his work changed over time. The shorter early pieces collected in comics like "Thirteen O'Clock" are recognizably art comics using a vocabulary of found horror images: the secret society, the leering face behind a window, are representative symbols of states of mind rather than presences in themselves. But his first longform serial "The Chuckling Whatsit" inverts this. Here the horror elements are given full play - it's a crazed pile up of characters, murder plots, conspiracies, odd locations, dreams, gimmicks, knives and masks, and while none of these feel like straightforward symbols of authorial expression there's obviously still something being worked out underneath that surface narrative, something warping all the pieces into new directions. The scene and the plot seem to abruptly change direction with every page; new characters are introduced and killed off again, constantly; the longest explanation of the plot we get is delivered by a lady with a cartoony moose-end-sqvirrel phonetic accent, but somehow it never loses either a sense of mysterious inner coherence or a sense of dread.

For me his middle period is from "Reflections Of A Glass Scorpion" (reprinted as "Mad Night") to "The Hidden". His art improves and he plays more with colour; the narratives slow down and there's more of a willingness to let them breathe. Characters become more important - my favourite is Judy Drood, the crazed Nancy Drew analogue crashing through a world of horror. Some of the books in this period feel less essential, as though having established what a "Richard Sala" comic would look like he was happy to spend a while doing the Richard Sala version of a vampire story, or an evil clown story, or a YA book. But he kept developing his style and "Delphine", towards the end of this period, is maybe his best single book: spare and serious and strange, as if he had reached a point in his craft where he no longer even needed to resemble himself.

But strangest of all is his late work, which maybe comes closest than most comics careers to the famous "late style" identified by Adorno in his essay. After increasingly subtle and quiet, almost slick, works, there's suddenly a return to the garish - rather than horror the model seems to be sleazy eurospy b-movies, the kind where masked girls in leotards run around machinegunning each other in underground bases. I don't think the biggest Richard Sala fan would think of him as primarily an action cartoonist but that's what we get here - panel after panel of firing handguns wildly into a crowd ("the simplest surrealist act" - andre breton) of milling henchmen, unkillable figures of vengeance running wild. And at the same time, just as startling, there's an abrupt and explicit emphasis on politics - the figures being shot are crowds of ghoulish Bush-era congressmen, executives, cops, sneering militia creeps, guffawing yuppies, movers and shakers. There's a sense of deliriously vindictive wish fulfilment that he's obviously having fun with, and what's not to love about a comic where a masked supervillain named Super-Enigmatix (shortened by the text as "S.Ex") breaks into the chambers of the Supreme Court to shoot the judges with a raygun known only as "the dissolver" in a single panel. But there's also a kind of sadness in the fury with which these characters are obsessively killed and re-killed; the flat, declarative way the political content declares itself has a kind of contempt, as if it weren't worth dressing up any other way. Rather than the politics of horror we have politics as horror, horror as the only form with which politics can adequately be represented.

Sala's last published work was "Poison Flowers & Pandemonium" - a collection of four(!) volumes unpublished at the time of his death, one of which is a collection of cavegirl-themed cheesecake art a character in the book itself winningly describes as "the dumbest thing i've ever read". The first book, a sequel to the late period work "The Bloody Cardinal", is one of his best - tensely paced and cohesive despite swerving crazily across genres, characters and settings (and also involving an evil mummy who exists in two dimensions). But the very last book, Fantomella, haunts me the most. It takes place in a world where the murderers have won - a vaguely futuristic tower in which dumb, bullying assholes, in costumes that are unsettling combinations of paramilitary gear, medieval torturer outfits and old-timey superhero costumes, spend their days in inscrutable violence or tangled, careerist infighting. The heroine, the title character, climbs up the tower level by level and kills absolutely everyone who gets in her way. The guys in the tower bicker and betray each other and bark orders over walkie talkies and then die and die and die; it's as though, having spent the last decade establishing a whole imaginative taxonomy of These Types Of Guy, there were no need for them anymore; they could be erased, one by one, in the perfunctory way of a henchman being offed in the final five minutes of a cheap film. Eventually Fantomella gets to the top of the tower; there's an ending reminiscent of stated lifetime influence Franz Kafka. Did I mention that this book is placed right after the sexy cavegirl story? Art can be powerful, when we let it be.

Mike Mignola, Guy Davis, John Arcudi - yeah, from B.P.R.D. These are spinoffs from Mignola's own Hellboy comics, and as will be the case with spinoffs I think they never quite got the respect of those other books. They're less quiet, less offbeat - they lack the quality in Hellboy of a mysterious folktale logic that we're barely able to glimpse. But that's the thing for me - in Hellboy many characters have some kind of knowledge that they act on, often piecemeal or imperfectly. What makes B.P.R.D. distinct is the sense that nobody knows what's happening at all; not the heroes, not the villains. Stuff just happens and happens and happens and maybe later on some of it is concluded in ways nobody notices because they're dealing with some other shit - the bits of narrative closure we get are as abrupt and unwilled as a long-forgotten gun that suddenly goes off. Maybe someone will accidentally glimpse the resolution of some other thing they had no idea was happening, in the shape of e.g. a nazi millionaire in a homemade skeleton outfit being pulled screaming beneath the earth by a plague of human frogs. Who was that? There's no time to worry about it, because the world is ending.

There's a lot of these comics and I can never keep track of what order they're in, but I want to suggest that one of the deep pleasures of longform serial narrative is reading it out of order and trying to figure out what's going on. You'll see someone pop up for a panel or die or do something of unexplained importance to the rest of the book and then keep going and maybe read an earlier one where you glimpse the setup that you saw finally paying off - if you can still remember. It's maybe an odd one for me to recommend, as someone who aggressively does not care about apocalypse shit, or military shit, or lovecraft shit. But in addition to the fun characters and offbeat storytelling and Guy Davis's typically great art I think what made this stick with me so much was an odd formal parallel, between the slow, shambolic, weirdly believable end of the world it depicts and the nature of serial storytelling itself. Details pile up, beyond our ability to keep track or notice them. The doomed task of remembering, of cultivating the little pile of our perceptions as they spill out and roll away, feels horribly similar to the efforts of the characters to hold a catastrophe in place; a catastrophe that no-one really seems to know the start or meaning of but that we're all stuck living out regardless.

It's a longrunning comic so there are lots of issues. You can try following it from the start and still find after a certain point that you no longer have any idea of what's happening, that "the start" is itself not really the start, just the latest in a series of dubiously reliable origin stories that seem to have no lower bound. You can spend a lot of time on wikis trying to combine the pieces and figure it out, just like the characters in the comic, the ones who inevitably end up going "AIIIEEE!" as they're blown up by a big machine or by some cosmic thingamabob they only realise too late they maybe never really got. Or maybe if you're lucky you can be a bit-part character; here in some pages, missing in others, with fate uncertain, deferred by an error in issue numbering, or a failure of memory.