#been unhappy with my stuff for a while and hopefully it ends here

[tomboeski]

Bliss.

[socksorstockingz]

I don’t really post much on here, but as someone who’s been in the Nevermore fandom for a while (following some tags on tumblr and being on the discord, though my activity there has significantly dwindled after it became bigger), but in light of the drama that’s gone on I feel like I’d like to give my opinion, if only for my own peace on the matter.

As a response to the whole situation and in context with other stuff I have heard of going down on the discord, I think Red’s long post was kind of a necessity, as only addressing the current biggest drama (that related to Crimson) would likely stir up people into saying in bad faith that she’s ignoring other issues that have gone on in the discord, and you can tell from Red’s standpoint that all of this has kind of been an accumulation of months and months of shit, on a scale she, Flynn and the mods have admitted to not being entirely prepared for, as their prior experience in discord moderation was on the Shiloh discord, which is significantly smaller, and thus more tight-knit. I’ve seen some people claiming that 95% of the post is calling out others rather than apologizing, but, having read most of the post thoroughly, Red seems quite apologetic and guilty throughout, thought their frustration is also noticeable. I understand why some people are unhappy with the fact that she namedropped some people she believed were involved in particularly toxic situations within the discord — which, I might add, was likely used as better context for her thought process and decision making throughout this whole mess, rather than her intentionally trying to throw in non-sequitors and victim blame, as I’ve seen thrown around. Admittedly, showing the discord/tumblr names of users — some of whom are apparently minors — is somewhat immature, as it could risk them being targeted by harassment (though Red did state in post not to pursue these people, and, in context, was likely airing out the names to ensure people didn’t throw around accusations and assumptions at random users). In that area, I believe Red could’ve been more careful.

As an apology for what she and the mods have been accused of recently, I think the post worked well, with her kind of structuring the piece like an apology sandwich: providing an upfront apology to a group she unintentionally harmed in her initial discord response, stating the full context of the situation, then reiterating her apology at the end. Some may call it tactless or manipulative, but, in my personal opinion, the long “filling” of the apology sandwich was necessary to provide an explanation, but not an excuse for her mistakes. You can tell a lot of this has been boiling in the background for a long time, and, though this extra information has provided more fuel to the Red-hate-train fire, it also helps inform people who may have been on the outskirts of the situation of some of her observations while moderating, which ultimately led to the mistakes made in the most recent situation.

Do I think Red made mistakes? Yes, absolutely. Do I think Red could have worded things better or tried to tackle the situation differently? Yes, as well. But, despite its flaws, I think what Red has done to address this situation and try to atone for/improve from it demonstrates greater humility than a lot of other creators I have heard of and known. When she said she and Flynn would step back from the community and find new mods to hopefully rebuild the community’s trust in both them and eachother, she Meant it, as, if you look on the discord, Red and Flynn have tags under their profiles indicating that they have banned themselves from the space. Some may see this as them running away from the mess, but, as I see it, they have said their piece here, and are, as Red has stated, trying to focus on themselves and the development of Nevermore, rather than digging themselves deeper into the trenches of everything that has gone down, which I find quite admirable, even if some of their actions during this whole debacle were questionable. I’m not saying there is no criticism to be had, but I think the sheer dogpiling that has gone on in the past few days (even before Red had posted either of her responses) is utterly baffling. I get wanting to hold creators accountable, but you’ve gotta remember they’re humans too, and immediately spouting some of the most heinous shit about them isn’t going to help them improve, you improve, or help the victims find peace in the situation. And, based on some of the posts I’ve seen, it seems like some people were holding onto a lot of information until after the first big post about the drama hit tumblr, then suddenly started unloading that onto their blogs to continue stirring the pot and adding to the dog pile. It kind of feels parasocial, and like they were just Waiting for this opportunity to drag the creators down. Maybe I’m misinterpreting the posts, and maybe more things are coming out now that people feel more validated in their opinion by having other peoples’ anger on their side, but it just feels kind of… disturbing.

I’ve heard of this happening in other communities before, and I guess, considering its size, something like this was bound to happen to the Nevermore community at some point. Maybe I was just naive to think that we could avoid shit like this, but it’s happened, and people are hurting, and things are confusing and scary. But, if there’s any advice I’d give to people who have been doomscrolling through this (like I have lmao :’) ), it’s important to take a step back from this situation, and take a step back from your keyboards, and just collect your thoughts for a second. Because, after a while, it’s just hurting yourself over and over because you feel betrayed that something like this could happen in a community surrounding a piece of media you love. Perhaps I’m being hypocritical in saying this, but… I really think it’s important to distance yourself if you need to, and take some time to yourself to process everything.

[connorsnothereeither]

So like, a while ago I did a little update on the Brink fics, and I figured it was worth giving a kinda sad update on my other Fable fics as well.

At this stage, there are no plans to continue or finish Your Skin Beneath My Teeth (the second book in the Blood series).

I know this is probably disappointing, because I know a lot of people really loved the Vampire AU. But from a personal writing level, I’m just sort of unhappy with the direction of the books, and I don’t have the time to commit to rewriting them. I’m not invested enough in my own story, and while that’s a shame, I don’t know if there’s much I can do without just giving myself time to stew on it.

There’s also a logistical side to things as well. Fable is coming to an end in less than a month. I feel like it’ll probably take me months to finish the Brink series still first, which are the fics I’m personally more passionate about. And at a certain point, I don’t want Fable to be the only thing that consumes my writing for the next year+. Not to mention the time I want to dedicate to other SMPs and creative projects I’m involved in, like Cantripped, Bound SMP, and Terramortis, with even more stuff in the works.

On top of all that like… I’m just a guy, ya know. I’m a full time student, work part-time most days of the week, commute between 2 major cities regularly, and I have other things that just deserve my time more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in fandoms for years, I know it’s shitty when fics you enjoy never get an ending. But I hope that like, people get where I’m coming from with discontinuing it, I guess.

Besides, there is, technically, an ending for Blood. I’ve had the ending written since the end of the first book (it’s just getting there that’s the problem) and so if people would like, as some sort of closure for the story, I would be happy to release that here on Tumblr or on my Kofi or something. Maybe I’ll make a follow up post with a poll.

I might as well mention that there is likewise no plan to “finish” the Band AU, but since that was always a collection of one-shots, there was never really a plan or end for any of it. It was always kinda disjointed without an end in sight lol.

I’m not saying that I’m NEVER going to go back to these fics. Just that it’s unlikely. But who knows, maybe someday I’ll crawl out of the dirt to finish them-

If you did only follow my Fable fics for the Blood books though, I’m sure some elements of my other fan works might appeal to you, if you want to give them a go! The horror/contemplations of humanity are the key theme of Brink, and the mystery/thriller, high stakes political conflict mixed with interpersonal melodrama is the focus of Cascading Skies, my new Bound fic. And of course those and so many more things are just key elements to like all of my storytelling my canon characters lol. But if none of that ticks your boxes, it was great to have y’all along for the bloody vampire ride :D

Anyway this was me getting sappy about setting aside a project I worked really hard on lol. Sometimes you gotta do that and sometimes that’s okay, and that’s an attitude I struggle with but am getting better at. I know don’t owe y’all any kind of explanation for this, I could have just stopped and let it die, but I wanted to give one. More for me personally really; I needed to say something about it publicly to like… fully cement in my mind what I decided on a long time ago. Anyway, catch y’all later when I’m not incredibly tired, and hopefully with a more silly goofy post ✌️

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary395

10/21/24

monday

a guest is coming over tomorrow...

i think i am going to show him fear and hunger 1 and maybe 2, while we just bullshit about everything else, hopefully he won't be painfully tired or anything, from graveyard.

today i have been rather depressed, but i wrote a lot. i got an idea for a new story, or... not so much a new story? it is but it isn't, it absorbs something i wrote a while ago, and couldn't figure out, now that is an ending section written from a separate perspective, and i've roughly written the first. it is maybe rushing a little. i'm not sure. it probably is but it's also about someone who doesn't like, matter. something about sitting in a vc where people just talk about twitter people stuck something in my craw i suppose, writing about a guy i knew or an extreme distortion of him is one way to get that out, having that out of me, it lets me think about the turn necessary to make the story anything beyond complaining or shallow cruelty. it also is coming from thinking about how people always touch me when i don't want to be touched, or i guess a couple men and those experiences, i sat in the shower thinking about that and felt rather unhappy. it was really strange. it made me think of how a friend of mine seems to feel a lot, they get so upset sometimes, it's less the content of what we get upset over and more that specific wave of unhappiness seems to express itself, an animal kind of feeling almost, for them they get rather mad, and talk about being pissed at nothing, i wasn't pissed really, i just felt locked up in a weird cage, while in the shower. or the shower soothed it, a little, because hot water soothes all kinds of things.

i listened to this song a lot today:

very miserable song.

i wrote some other stuff too, just some other sundry tiny pieces, a little edit in something i want to submit, i want to do another full pas through that, i think i can sharpen that into something very interesting, i wonder how to best work with how it disintegrates.

i keep thinking about how he says menstrual blood in that song, 'a delicate mixture of sweat and menstrual blood', a very beautiful line. as is 'stains and scars i can't explain'.

what else... oh, i don't know. i feel like a huge failure, today. i don't know why, it just feels like i will never be much. i don't know what much means. i just think i want more peers, i feel so alienated from most people, i don't know how to talk to most people. that's my own fault. usually, you just talk. i know some people are bad at it too, but i just should know how to do these things by now. i guess i just wish my writing were better. my close writing friends tell me it inspires them, but they know me. it means a lot, no matter what, i'm just really never going to be satisfied, that's the real issue. i want to be better than i am, and this is good, it makes me try at least. but sometimes it's exhausting to feel behind, or to feel, this is an ugly feeling, that i am behind people who simply know how to have a personality in the right places. it's irritating, but the fact i feel that way probably expresses that there is something wrong with my personality and people are right to avoid me when they do, or be put off.

what do i even mean by personality? it's not personality so much, just being able to put oneself out there, continuously, to post, in the ways people post these days. i can't because it makes me a little sick. i like posting here because people really don't read these crazy long posts normally, outside of a few people, which i always appreciate. and posting my art felt good, i'd like to get better at coloring and all the things people do to make stuff something anyone wants to look at, but nobody seemed to hate it or whatever, which is good. i just can't do things that feel like lying. being funny in the way all those people on twitter are, i can't, they're so unfunny normally... that's the real wound in everything, so much of what goes on is mediated by that platform, but it's just something that seems to make people... i dunno. i have a friend who complains about people making the internet a kind of tv. but twitter is the most reality-tv thing ever honestly. it's like freebasing real housewives.

it just bites idk. the world bites, and i have no one to blame but myself since i'm stupid enough to try and befriend people who are just, stuck there, i suppose. trying to make peers out of people i don't really want to even be around. but i hate that. i want to be friends with them, i want to be nicer and better, in every way. so why can't i be?

i dunno. maybe i'm wrong about not wanting to be around them, sometimes they're fun. it just baffles me. it baffles me how they are i guess. it sucks that sometimes all i can seem to do is be quiet, that's all that exists, be quiet and listen to people or be moved around.

the other day, when i went out, did i forget this anecdote? i can't recall, we were eating pizza, and i was daubing off the grease because it's gross when there is way too much, and this person we were there with who kept touching my head and grabbing at me to try and make me dance with him, called me chris chan for doing that, and then i said "that's ulililia who did that you faggot". he looked so sad. i guess this is the feeling inspiring what i started writing. at least it is a potent feeling. this person is so depressing.

i hope no one finds me too evil for saying faggot, i think i'm allowed, maybe the way i used it was evil though. i don't know. maybe i'm being too much of a cop to myself. i'm really just loopy right now or something. maybe just the or something. my mom texted me today, and asked if i have a social media she can follow, and i said i don't really want her to... too much to explain since i'm not really a man which is what i guess she'd expect. or a boy. either way, i'm clearly another thing. or i think i am. or i guess i know i am. is it annoying that i'm like this? i can't tell. i feel so stupid and depressed. she is worried about me becoming estranged, it's not that, i just don't know how to tell her, i'm not really your son, i don't need to be your daughter though, since i know you didn't want one, i'm just what you had. which has mostly been 'disappointing'. ha ha. not that she expresses or even thinks that anymore. she's very kind to me, she's a good mother, i just feel like i really did disappoint her through my development. i guess "i'm not really your son but i don't need to be your daughter," is as good a statement as i can get but i think she'd feel like i was being cryptic when all i mean is exactly that. i don't think she'd really be upset about it. i think she'd worry she's upset me... but i let everyone call me whatever they decide to call me, or what they used to call me before i decided to try and look different and be more how i felt inside. it's strange, every time i'm sad, i always end up talking about my gender. it feels less like it's got to do with it triggering the same emotions, and more it's just something i can ruminate on rather safely, because as time goes on, i only become more myself, and more comfortable with all the feelings i've had for years, feelings and experiences/methods of experience.

i sort of feel like i've been gutspilling too much lately, things aren't that heavy, i'm just going a little crazy i guess. i dunno why. i'm almost very happy sometimes, other times i just space out. i guess i'm just feeling something come over me, a new compulsion, which is always painful, and a lot of hating men. i don't want to really, i miss when i trusted them more. but they keep... i dunno... i say they like it's a bunch of them. really it's just very pathetic kinds of people, and sometimes friends who have taken jokes too far. my friends are easier to forgive because there's always drinking, earlier i felt so upset about that, but now i feel like whatever, the pathetic people fuck me up more, i don't know how you end up being someone who constantly negs women and then starts touching a femme person just because you know they're, i don't know, because i'm not cis or whatever it's like i'm a toy you can be more rough with and because you don't want to believe you can hurt anyone you keep doing the same things over and over because it's like you think you can prove you're not bad, to yourself and to this other person, but you're just making things harder, you're becoming more grating, gracelessly digging a pit.

whatever, though, it's all fine. i'm not a victim of anything really. i shouldn't act like it i'm just histrionic and stupid.

i should sleep now, i think that's all i really need, that and to write and be rid of these stupid thoughts, plus talking to a friend i haven't seen in a while will be helpful for me. hopefully i don't get waken up early like i did today too. maybe that is contributing to my mood.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pbandjesse]

I was pretty bored today. There were times I was very busy but mostly I was just. Bored to tears. I hope next week there is more to do.

I didn't sleep amazing last night but it was better. I fell asleep a lot easier. I slept most of the way through the night. But when I woke up my eyes hurt very bad. Just very very painful. So getting ready was pretty rough and I was not in a great spot emotionally because of that.

James would still wait for me to be ready so we could leave together. Even if I was unhappy about other stuff, kissing James goodbye made the morning a little better.

My drove to camp was fine. It was very cold this morning. But even though I just wanted to be in the warm office I decided that the first thing I would do is to move the gator for Joe.

I drove it the back way through the woodlands village. And despite it being very cold, it was a beautiful morning.

I wasn't sure which porch Joe wanted me to park the gator at so I chose the 4th one because it had the flattest surface. Good enough.

I walked back to the office and my legs were very cold. I had tights on under my jumpsuit but not the very thick ones so my legs were still very chilly. I was glad I was inside for the rest of the day.

I was hoping my sorting project with the files was going to take me a long time. But it was barely two hours. I struggled to keep the names in my head but I did a pretty good job pulling everything together. I did need some assistance because apparently I couldn't remember Nick names and names and was convinced we didn't have folders for half of the list. I figured it out though and made a nice alphabetical box of returning staff. Hopefully returning staff.

I didn't really know what to do after that. I have Heather the cit program I made yesterday and she gave me feedback about what I could work on expanding and I would spend another hour or so working on that. Lots of googling and research. Some direction from AI. I was pretty happy with it.

I ate my lunch late because I wanted the day to go faster. But it didn't helped. And by 130 I was so bored. I was so over the day. I tried to work on some more writing but it was just. Not happening.

I did some house research. Looking at couches and Pinterest. I did some dumb stuff. Just poking around. I ended up just sitting and watching TikToks and playing with slime??? I had silly putty in my desk and I put a bunch of mini pebbles/gravel in it and lotion and mixed it all together and popped the putty until all the rocks came out again. This was how bored I was.

I suggested we send a secondary email to last year's staff to see if anyone else wants to come back. I offered to compile the email addresses we have had no response from so we can send to their specifically. But it took a while to get me the info so it was basically time for me to go do it will be a next week project.

Before I left I had a nice little conversation with Heather about about the house and she seemed impressed by how we are handling everything and everything we are doing and it made me feel good. No new news today but I am letting myself be a little more excited every day. Still low key but still excited.

My drive home was a little tough. People driving stupid. But I got home before 430 and was happy to be here.

I would clean up a little and get in bed with lay with sweetp while we waited for James to get home. And I was super happy to see them.

We decided we would go to Mathews for dinner. I dont know if we have been to Mathews on a Friday and it was surprising to see it so busy! But we still got a table. And I loved overhearing all the very Baltimore accents and conversation.

It was fun just being with James. My allergies were acting up and my nose was really runny but I was happy. We talked about the house and the game they are seeing tomorrow. How it may storm and hopefully snow. How that might effect my plans with Celia. And the food we had, while it took a little bit to come out, was worth the wait and was fabulous. Always is.

After dinner we drove down the street to go to target. We got a few frozen things I can microwave. Got Sweetp some cat food. I got to smell the new girl scout deodorant and chose which ones I'll buy online later (because they are cheaper on the website). It wasn't to busy and I was having a nice time walking around.

When we got home I got cozy in bed to write this! My mouth is itchy from my allergies but I am okay. I think I will go and take a shower and get ready to go to sleep.

Tomorrow I hope to read and do a little deciding on getting rid of some stuff. And then hopefully I am going skating with Celia. I really hope it works out. Though I am also hoping for good snow.

I hope you all have a good night and have fun tomorrow. Sleep well everyone. Goodnight!!

[dangerous-drabbles]

update

i've been putting off writing this, but i can't exactly not, so... i'll try and make this brief.

in short: i've had an epiphany.

(tl;dr at bottom)

i've been writing/brainstorming this fic since november/december last year, and since then, my ideas and understandings of the show and it's characters have evolved. and with them, my plans and understandings for iwf.

i want to be clear: this is not me saying i'm done with iwf, or going on some long hiatus. in fact, it's more the opposite.

having graduated, with summer in full swing, and feeling more sure than ever about where i want to take this fic (as well as remaining fully invested in this fandom), i plan to do more writing than ever before B)

that said: something needs to change.

this fic has been, and continues to be, my baby (besides my ever-growing, yet rarely spoken of, tmnt iteration) for most of the time i've been active in this fandom.

i've long struggled with motivation for big writing projects, but i am resolved to keep with this one because i have a story worth telling. will it be worth reading? who's to say!! (i hope so /gen)

but, as you might've noticed, my more recent updates (especially around the end of arc I) were... bad. maybe not bad-bad, but still bad from a 'technical writing/story' perspective. i struggled a lot with them, and i think that really shows.

i've was trying to figure out why its come to be this way while pushing forward by forcing myself to write, but that didn't work. it wasn't until this week, tuesday, when realization struck me (while watching a video essay, lol).

it made me realize a big part of what was making me unhappy was something i already knew, an issue underlying the fic (and my writing style) as a whole.

with this in mind, i can't keep going forward in the way i had planned.

i'm not gonna go back and change arc I. while the problem is there, especially in the later chapters, i'm early enough on that i can turn things around and (hopefully) root out the problem(s) without any major changes to what i've written/set up so far.

but to do this, i need time.

i know i know i just took a 2-3 week long break, but to pull this off, i need time to prepare and rewrite. i'm halfway through revisions for the arc II outline, and i'll need to heavily revise/rewrite several chapters, plus write some new stuff (since i'm axing the next couple i had planned/written out... rip.)

if all goes well, it shouldn't take longer than two weeks. best case scenario, i get it done in one. we'll see.

until then, i humbly ask for your patience.

as a note:

i could go deep into my inspirations for this fic, where i wanted to go originally, what's changed since then, and especially what brought me to my realization (plus the specifics of said realization) but i said i would try to make this brief, and here we are, [insert amount of words] later.

are you really surprised, though? (/lh)

[if you would like to see me talk more about that (i would absolutely always be down, i love talking about myself /j /lh), feel free to shoot me an ask. in fact, i would beg on my hands and knees, if i were not a silly guy who lives on your computer (/j)]

(tl;dr -- i am not done writing iwf. however, i had a realization that led to me reevaluating my writing and determining that i need to rewrite/revise my arc II outline, and edit/revise/completely rewrite the next several chapters.

this means i am planning to take another week or so off (i am sosososo sorry) to iron everything out and get ahead.

this whole post was me trying to explain the reasoning behind this decision, with an underlying sense of desperate patheticism to match (/j /lh).)

to conclude, i want to say thank you so much for your support, silent or otherwise, from all who have read and (hopefully) enjoyed this fic thus far. i genuinely couldn't do it without you (yes, sun, this includes you /lh.)

especially to my frequent commenters, who i promise i do see and appreciate. you guys are the real mvps <3

i have some really big plans for iwf, and i hope you'll stick around to see them come to fruition (:<

[n-agiz]

another ramble about my ongoing writing related existential crisis that no one asked for but that i will still put out there hehe

i genuinely love writing as a hobby and stopping it rn is kind of out of the question for me because it is one of my biggest creative outlets and i'm still not ready to let go of it — that being said, and i've mentioned this multiple times over the last few months, i have been feeling pretty unhappy with my work. i enjoy writing smut, but i think kinktober has made me realize even more that my fav genre might be angst, because although i enjoy indulging in the filth every once in a while, i absolutely adore writing sad stuff for some reason that i cannot point out. beyond that, i think my main issue is that i am not as into anime as i was when i started writing two (?) years ago on my previous blog . . i barely watch anime anymore and the same goes for reading manga, which is why i keep writing for the same few characters, because those are the ones i can still feel some sort of connection with and feel any sort of enjoyment writing for. my main problem though isn't exactly my fading interest from animanga, but the fact that even if i can acknowledge it, i still can't think of any other fandom i would want to write for. i could move onto writing for f1, but then i would probably only write for the two or three drivers i actually find attractive, and for some reason even that doesn't appeal to me at all, or i could switch to kpop, but i don't even know what sort of stuff i would wanna write or for who i would wanna write, so i'm left with nothing else because besides those two most of my interests seem to come and go randomly. i have toyed with the idea of doing more of those your fav x you posts and maybe even dipping my feet into some oc related stuff but i'm not sure how that would do in the long run, so i am at kind of a loss right now lmaoo. i still have all intentions of finishing kinktober, but after that i'm not sure in which direction i will be taking this blog. continuing with animanga isn't completely out of the question because, again, even though i don't care much for it anymore, i still feel comfortable enough writing for a very limited list of characters, which is already something ig . . .

anyways, all of this to say i might end up doing a whole revamp to this blog and changing everything about it hehe, hopefully the few people who actively keep up with me will continue here through whatever might come in the future, but even if you don't, that is absolutely fine ! i'm honestly excited to see what path i might chose but also even more excited for the experimenting process that will come before it where i will try to figure out what works for me right now <3 i just wanna have fun with writing and tbh, right now, creating stuff that isn't exactly tied to one already existing character or person doesn't seem too bad so maybe that's the next step for me ? i don't know we shall wait and see

[andvys]

HEY BESTIE!!!

I know it’s been a while. A LONG while, but I’m reading some of the anon stuff they’re telling you about your fic. The one you’re currently writing. Look, I know I’ve been busy and I haven’t been active in months, but I unfortunately haven’t read it. BUT as an OG READER of your fics (yes I consider myself an OG reader bcs I feel it was such a long time ago when you only had just a few stories out & I was reading them) I am here to tell you that whoever you decide reader to end up with will still make for a great ending.

Why?!! BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS AMAZING. Listen….I’m an Eddie enthusiast for your fanfics. Always. Love how you write him. So if you decide that reader ends up with Eddie for your story then it’s gonna be fucking great. However, if you want her with Steve then I’m sure you’ll make a hell of an ending also.

In the end it’s always up to you. If it makes you happy it’s what matters not what everyone else wants you to do! Remember you can’t make everyone happy bcs someone is always going to be unhappy about a decision. BUT YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY! So if whatever you decide makes you happy then so be it!

Miss ya! It’s been so long soooo soo long. But I’ve been really busy since last winter. I did re-read a few chapters of love will tear us apart a few weeks ago bcs I missed your writing and because that was the 1st story of yours I was keeping up with 24/7 lol. I hope you’re doing good! Hopefully soon I can hop back on in here and binge read some of your newer stuff!

Wishing you well always❤️

-💃🏻💅🏻

OMG HI!!! HOW ARE YOU??

Thank you so much for saying that 🩷 I really appreciate you and your sweet words! And you’re absolutely right — in the end i’m gonna write what I think is right and best for the story and for the characters!!!

and you’re definitely one of the og readers 🤭

i missed seeing you in my inbox!! i hope youre doing great!! 🩷

[redpandaramblings]

Like Caramel For Chocolate- An Omega Bakugou x Alpha f!Reader fic. Part 6

Part 1 Here

Next part Here

Content Warning: Negative headspace, omegaverse, self deprecation, depressive thoughts, pushy parental figures, ambiguous omegaverse reproduction, unhealthy relationships, relationship that could be easily fixed if idiots would use their words and communicate, Shinso/Denki side relationship, Bakugou is a dumbass but so is y/n

Where we left off-

Before Bakugou could reply, the jeweler came back into the room and handed Denki a piece of paper.

“All right sir, here is your receipt! Your ring should be ready in three days.”

“Thanks.” Denki shoved the receipt into his pocket, quickly making his way to the door. “See you around Bakubro. Don't want to be late for my shift.” The door closed behind him with a bang.

Bakugou wasn’t annoyed though. Now he could pick out the perfect ring for Y/N and not worry about Kaminari being nearby. Everyone knows Kami can’t keep a secret to save his life.

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep all of this a secret.” Denki moaned into his hands. He was sitting with his head buried in his arms. Y/N reached across the table and gently petted his hair.

“I know what you mean, but I don’t think either of us are in a good position to start telling people.”

Y/n and Denki sat in a secluded corner of a dimly lit cafe. Both of them had this time free and both of them definitely needed to talk. They stood a lot less chance of anyone asking questions if they were just two friends getting lunch instead of them privately going to each other’s apartments.

Denki looked up, giving Y/N a wide eyed expression. “I know, but I wasn’t expecting Bakugou to show up when I was dropping off that abomination of a ring! I just was lucky the jeweler had already taken it to the back. You were right by the way, that thing is absolutely horrendous. Like, was the designer blind?”

Y/N snorted. “From what I’ve heard, great great grandpappy had a lot more money than brains and wanted to impress his omega by shoving as many stones onto a ring as possible.”

“No kidding. I think it can be seen from space.”

“Very likely.” Y/N chuckled before slumping back into her seat with a sigh. “Though I might have an idea about what Bakugou was doing there.”

“Wait, seriously?”

Y/N nodded with a sigh. “Yeah. When I got back he invited me to the summer festival. I’d forgotten about it.”

“Ah shit, yeah. Isn’t that your guys' anniversary?”

“Yep.” Y/N sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Of course he had to pick this time to actually celebrate. We haven’t gone or done anything… God, I think since he became a hero.”

“So you think he was getting a gift.” Denki sat back as the server came, placing your orders in front of each of you. You both murmured your thank yous and waited until the server was out of earshot before resuming your conversation.

“Yeah, he had to have been. Makes me feel terrible, but there wasn’t a good time to… Well…”

Y/n gestured between herself and Denki.

“Tell him that you’ve been betrothed to an omega of much superior looks, breeding, and manners?”

You gave Denki a little kick under the table as he cackled. He grinned cheekily as he poked at his food. “Sorry. Humor is my coping mechanism. I get it though. Timing sucks all the way around.”

You nodded, sighing and taking a bite of your own food. “Can’t say anything during his heat. Then his schedule was swamped, and I had to sort things out with you. Then bam, anniversary that for some reason he decided to remember this year.”

Denki snorted, popping a bite into his mouth. “That’s about the long and the short of it. And we haven’t even begun to figure out how to tell everyone we’ve not only accepted arranged betrothals, but that we’re engaged to each other.”

“I don’t know, I was kind of hoping we could just move to Tahiti and never speak to our former friend groups ever again?”

“A valid possibility. But that means we’d have to learn French and maybe Tahitian. You know I only passed English because Hitoshi and his dad coached me.”

“Fair point.” You sighed heavily. “But I’m really not looking forward to these conversations.”

“They have to happen though. You might have some anonymity to hide behind, but I’d rather my friends not find out about our engagement when they see an article about Chargebolt getting married.”

“Really?” You smirked slightly. “Then you’re going to tell everyone at your agency, hmm?”

Denki kicked you under the table. “Shut up!”

You poked at your food again as the smile fell from your lips. “So… Did you get a chance to think about what I sent you?”

Kaminari nodded. “Yeah. And I hate to say it, but I think you’re right.”

“I thought about it a lot. I hate to leave the area, but it would be too awkward to stay here after everything.”

A few days ago you had sent Denki an email with a list of places that had job openings that would suit both of you. You both loved where you lived, but after everything, how could you stay? There’s no way the two of you could continue to keep living in the same apartment building as Bakugou. That would be cruel. Cruel to whom you didn’t quite want to think about. You spoke up again.

“Any place catch your eye?”

Kaminari nodded. “I was kind of thinking Okinawa. I have a few connections there. Decent distance from here and from our parents. And that would probably be the easiest transition.”

“Works for me.” You said, as if it wasn’t ripping your heart out to do this. It hurt. But it had to happen. In the end, you had to believe this was what was best for everyone. It might take some time, but this was it. This was what would make everyone happy in the long run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinsou was worried. Denki had been acting odd. And that’s saying something. The blond omega was usually loud and bubbly, the life of the agency. At least once a week, he invited Shinsou out for drinks, meals, clubs, karaoke, or some other nonsense. But ever since he’d gotten back from his three day leave, Kaminari had been acting strange. When he thought no one was looking, he was quiet. Withdrawn. Like he was puzzling out the toughest problem of his life.

Denki having a problem? Pretty typical. Denki having a problem and not talking to Shinsou about it? Pretty unusual. The blond had always come to the purple haired alpha with even the simplest of problems. Apartment searches, furniture assembly, what support items would suit his quirk best, even things like what to get from Starbucks. And even though he might groan and roll his eyes, secretly Hitoshi loved every second of it. When he had helped by digging through websites, cobbling together a rickety shelf, or reminding Denki that he always got the most cloyingly sweet items on the menu; Hitoshi got to pretend that he was Denki’s alpha.

Shinsou wasn’t sure exactly when he had fallen in love with Denki. Probably had been since high school at least. His dad had warned him against loud blonds while his father had laughed. But he couldn’t help it. Kaminari had been one of the first people to enthusiastically believe in him. Had always sought him out and wormed his way into Shinsou’s life and heart. And now Shinsou couldn’t understand it, but Denki was pulling away. Even as he watched the blond who was typing up a report on his computer, it somehow felt like Kaminari was slipping right through his fingers.

Shinsou cleared his throat. Kaminari glanced up. “Yeah man? What’s up?”

“You doing okay, Denks? You’ve seemed a little out of it.”

Denki met his eyes, startled, then quickly glanced away. “Yeah. Yep! Totally fine.”

“Denki. I know you.”

Kaminari sighed and slumped on his desk. “Just some life stuff. Family stuff. Friend stuff.”

Shinsou frowned, walking over to place a hand on Denki’s shoulder. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Denki snorted and laughed quietly. Shinsou furrowed his brows.

“Yeah” Denki sighed. “I know. But half of it isn’t really my stuff to tell and the other half isn’t exactly worth talking about.”

“You sure? We could go grab one of your obnoxiously sweet coffees after work. Go to mine or yours, watch an old crappy horror.”

“Tempting. Thanks man. I would, really, but I got some stuff I have to do after work. Some other time maybe.”

Shinsou frowned. It was rare for the omega to turn down an invitation for a movie night. Hell, it was rare for Denki to turn down an invitation, end stop. It made him even more worried about his omega… friend. His omega friend. His friend who just so happens to be an omega. Hitoshi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He really didn’t want to ruin the best friendship he had. But he couldn’t keep this up much longer. His alpha had decided on the electric blond long ago, and the omega’s unusual behavior and unhappy scent was driving him wild with the need to protect. He really needed to pull himself together and confess soon.

“Well, whenever you’re free then,” Shinsou said, reluctantly letting his hand fall from Denki’s shoulder. “You know my number.”

Denki nodded and looked up, giving him half a smile. “I do. Thanks Shinsou.”

Shinsou walked back to his desk, his mind made up. He needed to tell his omega how he felt, and soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N twisted and turned, looking at herself in the mirror. It had been a very long time since she’d worn a yukata. It didn’t feel right to dress up like this. But wearing anything else also felt wrong. Everything about this date felt wrong. Like this was the kind of she she did in another life. And now here she was, going on a date with the man she loved. Who she’d always love. And who she’d already decided she was going to let go.

Y/N snorted and fussed with her hair a bit. Maybe she should have just refused this date. Claimed to be sick or something. But that felt wrong too. So, she just had to get through tonight. After all, what’s one more night of pretending everything is fine? Hopefully this could be a good memory from a relationship that just wasn’t meant to be. After tonight, she’d wait a couple days and then talk to Bakugou and let him go like he clearly wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki was going to throw up.

He was going to throw up, right here, all over himself and all over shitty hair, too. His red headed friend was giving him a pep talk as he helped Bakugou into his jinbei. Not that Bakugou needed the help. Or the pep talk. It just was easier to let the squad come over when they had found out about his date. It’s not like he wanted them there or anything. Once Kiri, Mina, and Sero realized he was going to use this date to ask Y/N to be his mate, they had insisted on helping him get ready.

None of them knew about the little velvet box in his pocket and that his plans went further than just asking Y/N to be his mate. Bakugou bit his lip to keep from frowning as he looked over his friends, a certain loud blond conspicuously missing. You wouldn’t hear Katsuki admit it out loud, but he really wished Denki could have been here. He loved the others, and they were great in their own ways. But Denki was his pack’s other omega. He got it in a way that the others didn’t. After tonight, he’d have to make sure to catch Pikachu up on all the news. Hell, maybe he could help his fellow blond finally talk to that purple haired idiot he’d been mooning over for years. Everyone in the pack knew Denki’s family had been harping at him to settle down for quite a while.

Bakugou looked up in time to see Mina coming at him with the hair grease. He threw up his hands.

“Fuck no! Keep that shit away from me!”

“You’ve got to do something about that pile of straw you call a haircut. Besides, Wouldn’t it be nostalgic? Weren’t you interning for Best Jeanist again when you asked Y/N out the first time?”

“Yes, and I’d rather shave myself bald than ever have my hair like that again!”

Mina sighed. “Fine. We’ll do something else. But if I can’t slick it back, you will be wearing eyeliner!”

“IN YOUR DREAMS, PINKY!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You waited outside the entrance to the festival. It was strangely soothing to watch the people flow by, like you were a rock overlooking a stream. There were groups of friends, couples both young and old, families where the laughing children ran ahead of their parents eager to get inside. You gave a small smile at the last. Maybe that could be you someday, a parent getting to see a festival through the eyes of a child again. Though the mental picture was hazier than it used to be. The children you half imagined just blurs of colorful yukatas, instead of loud and stubborn blond haired brats with their father’s eyes and attitude. You huffed a quiet laugh to yourself as a thought occurred to you. If you and Kaminari actually went through with this plan, decent chance the kids would still be blond. The thought hurt a little.

“Y/N!”

You looked up and had the breath knocked out of your lungs.

Katsuki was beautiful. You knew it. Thought it often, even. But tonight he practically glowed. His hair had been tamed into a softer look than usual. The jinbei he wore was the perfect compliment to his skintone. Was that… Yes. Dark eyeliner made his crimson eyes pop. Your heart ached. You’d always love this man. No matter how it tore you apart, he’d always own part of your heart and soul. You smiled weakly and raised your hand in greeting.

“Hey. You look good.”

“Thanks.” Bakugou scratched the back of his head. “Mina got ahold of me.”

“That explains it then.”

“Hey!” Katsuki gently elbowed you in the side before taking his place next to you. “You saying I can’t dress up on my own?”

“Yes.”

“Y/N!” You dodged out of the way as he swatted at you, laughing. Yes. This could be it. One last good night.

“Shall we go in?” You asked, holding out your hand.

“That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” Katsuki asked as he walked past you, ignoring your hand.

You gave a quiet smile as you followed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki picked at his food, none of it making it to his mouth. He was going to be sick. He was going to be sick right here and some paparazzi was going to see and take a picture and the big headline tomorrow was going to be “A Puke Worthy Proposal.” He was trying his best to keep up the illusion that everything was fine and normal, but it was rough. It had been a long time since he’d taken his alpha on even a normal date. And this wasn’t any normal date. It didn’t help that things were feeling forced and awkward.

He wanted to hold your hand, but his own hands were sweating buckets. He tried to keep up casual conversation, but that was getting harder and harder as the night wore on. Every sentence he wanted to just blurt it out and get it over with. It was impossible to keep talking about what vendors he recognized when all he wanted to say was “I love you and I’ll always love you and I want you by my side until the sun stops shining.”

It didn’t help that things felt awkward. Almost nothing was feeling easy or natural. It really had been far too long since the two of you had gone on any sort of date. He frowned as he thought about it. It had been over a year, at least. Longer, even. Well, he was going to have to fix that. He’d be able to use some of that pro hero paycheck and spoil you like you deserved. His Y/N. His mate. And soon, his wife.

Bakugou stared at nothing, his eyes going unfocus as he started daydreaming about how spectacular your wedding would be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was a disaster. You glanced over to where Bakugou stood picking at his food, looking bored. You’d been trying to keep up the conversation, but for the past several minutes you’d only gotten hums or grunts in response to anything you said.

“It’s amazing how they got all those pro heroes to dance nude as one of the main attractions this year.”

Katsuki grunted.

Yeah, he wasn’t paying attention at all.

You sighed, looking down at your own untouched food. You never should have agreed to come. At least this date was proving it to you. This had to end. The two of you didn’t know how to be a couple anymore. It was even clearer that Katsuki wasn’t even interested in trying. You had no idea why he wanted to have this date in the first place. Some bizarre sense of obligation? Maybe his heat had shaken him up enough that his omega needed the sense of normalcy? This issue was this wasn’t normal for the two of you anymore. It hadn’t been for a very long time. You sighed, glancing around for a trash can to oust you untouched dango.

A loud pop caused you to look up. The fireworks were about to start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou looked up at the sound of the first firework.

“Wanna head to the pier?”

You nodded quietly, following him as he led the way. He was sweating so much now that if he set himself off he’d take out half the city.

This was it. It was almost time. The two of you were going to watch the fireworks from the out of the way pier like you had all those years ago. It was at the end of that fireworks show the two of you had had your first kiss. And this time… Well this time at the end of the show he was going to propose and you were going to say yes, and it was going to be perfect.

That is if he didn’t barf before you two got there.

“Hurry up,” he grunted as he picked up the pace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tried not to flinch at Bakugou’s harsh tone. He clearly wanted to get this night over with even more than you did. You tried not to let it hurt.

The pier was empty as it always was. The lack of lighting keeping others away. The first time you had discovered it, it had felt hidden and intimate. Now it felt desolate. Lonely.

You walked up to the railing and stared at the sky. The fireworks didn’t feel magical anymore either. Your fingers wrapped around the railing as you glanced to the side. Bakugou wasn’t even looking up. He was staring at the reflections of flashes in the dark swirling water below.

You couldn’t do this anymore.

No more.

The fireworks illuminated you as your grip on the railing tightened until your knuckles turned white.

“Katsuki?”

“”What?” He asked roughly, barely glancing your way.

“Let’s break up.”

And that was Part 6, my darlings! Hope you're enjoying the drama, because there's more angst on the way! You can scream at me about the cliffhanger in replies, reblogs, tags or asks. :P

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[absolutebl]

What are some popular tropes in BL that have died out? And what are some tropes you think will slowly phase out or transform? I was just thinking today how manga has evolved in the 20 years I've been reading it (and then had a moment of feeling old af) and was curious about dramas.

What a WONDERFUL ask! Thank you. I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to tackle this question and I really hope others will weigh in, because i am sure i am forgetting something. 

Ready?

Here we go!

ONCE POPULAR BL TROPES THAT HAVE DIED 

1. Kidnapping for Love

My goodness this was once a big one. Putting aside Because of You (I have many thoughts on Taiwan's love of bad old tropes), 2016′s Addicted Heroin was the last major BL to employ this trope. It used to be SO POPULAR. A hearty dose of early BL, particularly the dark stuff out of Japan and China, used the kidnapping trope. By comparison, it is super rare now. I anticipate its resurgence only if we get a companion rise in mafia, historicals, and dark romance, which unless funding materializes, I don’t see happening in a big way. 

2. Sad Endings 

Before Thailand really hit its stride (starting around 2017) a majority of BLs (by far) ended unhappily with the couples separated, dead, stuck in dreamlands, or otherwise depressing apart and unhappy. If they did get together, the uke was often disfigured or crippled. There were lots of murders and suicides. It was a rotating buffet of “how many ways can we kill the gays?” Fortunately, those darks days seem to be mostly behind us. And i really think we can thank Thailand for that.

Everyone say: “Thank you, Thailand.” 

3. Taboo Tropes

We used to get a lot of May/December, Teacher/Student, and Stepbrothers wanna bone tropes. Yaoi started these and Japan and Taiwan will still pick up and play with them, but percentage-wise since China left the scene, they are becoming much less common. I think that’s partly because gay used to be strongly considered/associated with taboo, thus to push the boundaries with other taboos using a gay couple was considered a companion titillation. Bonus squick for everyone! Thank heavens they seem to be fading away and fans respond vocally and negatively to their presence (see H4). 

4. Whipping Boy

Like kidnapping, i think this trope is pretty much dead. This is the poor kid raised in the rich kid’s household expressly to service him. We kinda saw it with Golden Blood, but the original whipping boy was always a suffering uke who was household sub, slaving his identity to his wealthy master/boss, giving his everything to that one seme, including his body. China’s Irresistible Love duology is the prefect version of this trope (also TulHin in A Chance at Love). Japan, of course, has picked this one up in the seme (attack dog) variant for My Beautiful Man. So it’s not totally dead. But that’s japan for you. 

TROPES DOOMED TO SLOWLY PHASE OUT OR TRANSFORM 

1. Punch down humor & queer othering 

Punch down humor vilifying femme, butch, trans, and other visually queer characters is slowly starting to be less common and occasionally be directly addressed. It’s taking a while but with Taiwan, the Philippines and, to a certain extent, Vietnam I think we will see more queer rep and less queer vilification leaking into Thai stuff. And in BL where Thailand goes others will follow. Hopefully, we will also start to get more queer domesticity as a side effect. (Thailand is making big strides in 2022.) 

2. Gay for You 

I think the straights are starting to get that is a very ugly thing to do to a character. Once MAME puts an out pansexual in her series, after being one of the first to put an out bisexual into BL, you gotta give Thailand some credit. I think BL wants to be hip and modern and if that means using the lingo the queer kids are using (semantics are super important), and that in turn leads to normalization and acceptance? I’ll take it. And in BL where Thailand goes... (to be fair Taiwan is pretty much there). 

3. Size Differential Fetish 

I think seme/uke in some form or another will stick around for a very long time, but I think the visual depiction of the seme as significantly taller then the uke will probably become less common. Partly because of casting constraints. I think directors are going to prioritize good chemistry and on screen comfort between their leads over perfect visuals. Taiwan and the Philippines have pretty much given up on this aspect. Korean only really bothers with a school setting. I think we are going to see Vietnam and Thailand follow. The Thai pulps are already leaning this way. 

4. School Settings

Early live action yaoi from Japan gave us a lot of workplace set BL. Early stuff from Korea, too. Then Thailand firmly moved us into high school and university for what seems to be the requisite 4 years (for reasons of expense - they’re cheep to make). I think we are going to see a lot more non-school settings going forward - especially from Taiwan, Vietnam, and the Philippines. Thailand even seems to be getting in on it by way of cafes and restaurants. The audience is excited about this and the production companies can cut costs by sizing down the cast. 

5. Friends to Lovers 

I think we are going to see a lot more complex origin tropes than we have. Much less plain old friends to lovers or enemies to lovers. We will still get romance tropes like cohabitation but they will be Be Loved In House or To My Star style, not just college roommates something more nuanced. We will probably get more fake dating, paranormal elements, secret lovers, fuck buddies, and so forth. I would be shocked if we didn’t see some messy “my sister’s ex” or “my best friend’s younger brother” or “my sister-in-law’s brother” extended family taboo come into play. Possibly combined with “home for the holidays” style romances, probably from those who go shorter run and can get domestic like Taiwan, Vietnam, or Japan. “Boss’s spoiled son want’s me” is also a good one we haven’t seen recently. These all are super popular in gay romances and great ways to get tons of tension outside of an education environment.  

VISUAL TROPES I DIDN’T SEE MUCH OF IN 2021

Share My Earbuds? - seems to be fading away. Perhaps because 2gether kinda owns this one and feel tired? Or perhaps with the rise of ear pods it’s just the tech is too old fashioned.

Post-it Love Note -  too overdone in 2020 for anyone to use this year?

Bath Time! - I’ve stopped keeping track of this one because it’s more all romance than just BL and Tumblr gods get mad at me when I show too much flesh. But showering or bathing together seems to be departing all but the highest of heat BLs.

Kiss Me In The Car - aside from Gen Y this one seems to be entirely abandoned in favor of “I’m just doing up your seatbelt for you” as an excuse to execute a variation on the aggressive loom trope.

Clutch That Pillow - there were a few of these this year, but none struck me as particularly significant.

(source)

[babygirlgiles]

📓👀

Hello my beloved mutual teatimewithgiles! I have been trying to think of a single idea I have not already told you about, especially bc I know I've told you about all the ones I daydream about extensively lmao.

Anyway! I don't think I've told you much about "How to Be an Empty Nester (And Love Every Minute!)". Basically, it's set after Buffy goes to college and Giles has gotten this parenting/self-help book, which the fic is titled after, about how to cope with your child leaving for college. Each section of the fic begins with a piece of advice from the book-- stuff like "building shared routines or rituals can help you and your child stay connected while they're away" or "don't helicopter: give you child some breathing room to discover who they are"-- and is followed by Giles dramatically failing to implement the advice. Sometimes it fails because it's just ridiculous in the context of their lives and who they are as people, sometimes it's just because he interprets it in kind of a ridiculous way, and sometimes it's just because he tries it and Buffy is like "uhhh what is going on what are you doing why are you acting so weird".

This all comes to a head with the piece of advice that's something like "reconnect with your child through a shared activity: a common goal is a great way to bond!" because Giles interprets that as. Summoning a small, relatively harmless demon :) For them to fight together :) As a bonding activity :)) Let's all keep in mind this is s4 Giles when he is not exactly as his most mentally well lol, he's not making the most sound decisions at the time.

Of course, Buffy finds out that he summoned the demon on purpose, is not exactly pleased about that for many reasons, and they get into a bit of an argument where he confesses that he got this idea from a self-help book (and she's just like ... a self-help book told you to summon a demon...?) and he explains that, no, but he's been trying to follow the book's advice because he feels so disconnected from her but he had no idea how to best reach out to her and stay part of her life. She's still pretty unhappy in the moment so Giles thinks he's really messed things up until a couple days later when (and this is the final section) he comes home to find Buffy in his courtyard with a pot of (atrociously bad) tea and she says something like "you said you have tea down here sometimes so I thought maybe we could... have tea?" as her gesture of goodwill and trying to reach out to him too. And it ends with the final piece of advice which I haven't exactly figured out how to word yet, but it's basically "be yourself: near or far, your child loves you for you!". And it's extra cheesy because being what finally worked for him to reconnect with her was when he was honest <3

Will I ever write this? Hopefully someday...

Thank you for sending me this ask!

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

[pastelwitchling]

I should be writing a novel, but this is the last season I’ll get to write my thoughts after each episode, and I’m depressed so I can do what I want. I have no idea how long this’ll be, but here they are; my thoughts on Roswell, New Mexico 4x01.

This actually might end up being a super short (and bitter) post (edit from future rin; it’s not) because it’s a wonder how much I don’t care about anyone but Alex, malex, and Kyle. I seriously don’t care what Liz is up to, I don’t care about Max and Jenna reuniting (actually, where’s the collaboration between Jenna, Kyle, and Alex? Where’s that team that we never got?), and I especially - especially - couldn’t care less about Maria losing her powers.

While we’re on that, actually, let me just get this out of the way; I don’t care who Maria sleeps with, just stay away from the Manes men. I don’t know how much clearer we as fans could’ve been about that woman and the Manes men, I don’t know how much more we could’ve argued against it, how much louder we had to be about how badly she needs redemption and not another boyfriend who worships the ground she walks on and who she will undoubtedly dump (especially after this thing with Dallas, who’s also too good for her) because strong female characters don’t get broken up with, right? They’re too perfect for that. I hope at least Gregory’s the one that ends things. He deserves that much. And I don’t care about her losing her powers. She used them in season 1 to identify what Alex was feeling, you know, one of her best friends who she knows was usually unhappy and without hope, and that hardly seemed to make a difference. Season 3 used her powers to give her more screen time than almost anyone, so what good are her powers exactly?

I can’t with Isobel and Anatsa, they don’t have a scrap of chemistry, it’s just so awkward to watch. They feel like actors playing a part, and I just don’t ship them. Also, I really dislike that Isobel had given up her event planning business. I loved that as a female character in the first season, she was allowed to be arrogant, caught up with herself sometimes, fashionable, stylistic, and still be such a kind person with a good heart who protected the people she loved. It was such a great contrast to her character which is usually written as stereotypically selfish, but it showed that female characters can be fashionable and a little self-centered and care about aesthetic but also be kind and loveable. I just think that as a female character, she was a lot cooler and more groundbreaking in the first season.

I hope Kyle and Isobel get together quickly. They have actual chemistry, and they just look good together.

I loved Alex, Kyle, and Eduardo all working together, planning. I love that it’s kylex together on this serious stuff, doing the real work behind the scenes. I just hope that, unlike in the last season, this time Alex isn’t left out of the climax with the excuse that he was working on some important stuff in the background. Not this time, please.

I can already see where this plot is going. They’ve already mentioned Michael feeling a connection to Bonnie and Clyde (God willing, please no more threesomes in this show, final season or not, let’s just put that out into the world, no more of them), and undercover work. Before the episode aired, I thought it would be Alex going undercover with an evil version of Deep Sky or something, but now I can see that it’ll be Michael going undercover to find out what Bonnie and Clyde are planning, and then that challenges him and Alex (hopefully while they stay together). I’m hoping, and I’ll love to write it at some point, that the triad ends up taking Alex because he was the only one that ever figured out the Lockhart Machine that had called them in the first place, and they threaten him, and that’s what gets Michael to fight back and expose himself. Or they take Alex after they expose Michael, to get Michael to do what they want, or they threaten Michael to get Alex to do what they want. I think Bonnie and Clyde are going to be good people who do the right thing in the end, and I just hope that what changes their view of humanity is Alex and Michael’s love for each other. I hope that’s where the show goes, but we’ll see. As long as Alex and Michael face whatever comes as a couple, and stay together.

Dallas is a freaking breath of fresh air. Michael needs a friend like him, and I’m glad he has one, someone who’ll just tell him he’s afraid and reassure him. I just love that man. Finally someone other than Max who can talk to Michael about Alex, who makes Michael confront his obvious feelings for Alex. Not much more to say on that other than; I love Dallas, and Michael should just go to him and Max from now on when he has trouble with his feelings as oppose to . . . anyone else.

Michael is gorgeous, of course, I just really wish we got more of Alex and Michael together amongst their friends, you know? I wish we got to see the dynamic of them as a couple and Michael’s siblings, Alex’s siblings, their friends. Not just them together in private when a scene allows it. I want to see them as a couple around people.

Alex is my precious captain, he’s the reason I watch, the reason I continue to watch, and the very idea of losing him brings me to tears even now as I write this, but that’s for later, I know.

I feel weird saying it was a great episode considering how much I really don’t care about anyone but Alex, malex, and Kyle, but it was a great episode where they’re concerned.

[irresistiibles]

okay okay!! hello here is a real quick plotting/starter call! i’ve got blurbs for all my characters so toss this a like to plot or if you just want to get some stuff started feel free to  reply with who you want things for/from. please only request THREE STARTERS per mun because otherwise i just will not have time for everything. in terms of pre plot drop things i do wanna keep some chill vibe and am fine doubling up on threads but i will probably pick and choose stuff to transition based on muse. feel free to transition any of our stuff as you see fit!

AMBER

she’s fighting more than she should that’s for sure. she’s good with a bow and arrow, but idk how much that’ll do here. honestly i think she could do well with a gun if someone just gave her one. will try and help people where she can. open to injury

ASAMI SATO

she can handle herself but boy is she tired of fighting. she’s always got a few weapons on her so she’s managing but she’s mostly trying to make sure her and her girlfriend are safe

BINX CHOPPLEY 

fae are hard to fully kill in her world so she’s not too stressed. she’s small has a crossbow, and is going for it. will mostly be trying to help people in need and get them to nice quiet places

BLUE SARGENT

she is swearing that she’s never going out again. she’s got a pocket knife and spite to get her by, but realistically blue i gonna try and find somewhere to camp out.

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

not built for this at all! he is a nice guy with asthma pls he is so screwed. open to getting him killed to get his memroies back so if you want a plot involving that hit me up

CHIHIRO OGINO

idk how much i’ll get chichiro involved in this. realistically she’s been up and lost in a far corner of the white house for most of the night. if she does run into monsters she is unfortunately the type to try and talk her way out of a situation, but girl does know how to run if needed, which is what she’ll be doing.

CORALINE

scared, tired of this sort of thing, probably trying to get out of there, and when that doesn’t work is going to be smart and board herself up in a room somewhere

EDWARD ELRIC

honestly he’s more comfortable fighting than dancing. worried about winry and al but also just everyone else. he’ll be on the helpful end of things and trying not to act too relieved to be back to something he’s good at

ENTRAPTA

a freak she’s having fun. she wants some flesh samples of monsters if possible. they should be afraid of her, not the other way around.

ESTHER MCKINNON 

man i don’t even know if she brought her wand she’s trying to find the fam and drag their aggressive asses to a quiet corner while hopefully not getting knocked out along the way. open to injury

GLINDA UPLAND 

not happy! she was having a good night!! and everything always gets ruined!! back to the pink bubble it is. will try and yank someone else in there but her magic has no rules to it so who knows if that’s even possible lmao

JI EUN TAK

unhappy and scared, especially cause she does not remember her own supernatural experiences. will try and hide and pull people out of danger if possible. she is the protective sort but also just a normal gal so could get herself hurt trying to help someone else.

JIN LING

tipsy at the wrong time!! able to fight luckily but he feels less confident without fairy and is really missing his dog. stressed! very stressed but stubborn and will be fighting.

KYOSHI

i kinda wanna bring some of her memories back without killing her so some big fighting for her definitely open to trying to help people or witnessing someone dying (cause that would trigger her memories lmao) definitely feel free to hit me up!

LILY EVANS

drunk, tired of shit happening to her, flinging spells around a little recklessly but doing what she has to do to stay safe.

MIANMIAN

she can fight but she doesn’t like doing it. she is much more comfortable behind people as i figure she got more comfortable night hunting alone later in life she’s definitely out of her comfort zone and a little freaked out

NIE HUAISANG

this man does know how to run and hide and stay safe when needed even if he doesn’t show it. not above tripping someone to get away safely. worried about himself and his brother and that’s it everyone else can rot for all he cares

RITA SKEETER

also will trip people to get away safely lmao. honestly she can turn into a bug and hide pretty easily so i’m open to stuff with her but i don’t think she’ll be doing too much

SCARAMOUCHE

horrible puppet man is amused by all of this he’s the worst. may purposely lead people into danger while claiming to take them to safety because he’s the absolute worst!! or is just taking advantage of the chaos to attack people. i would not recommend approaching.

SHANG QINGHUA

he can fight! a little! he swears! but he’s drunk and has already had such a night he is attempting to get help and hide immediately. will shamelessly cling to anyone who seems like they can protect him

SHI QINGXUAN

they’re a little disappointed things went south but qingxuan can take care of herself. if she took a bottle from the bar in the chaos that’s her business. another one who doesn’t love fighting, and is nervous, but capable enough with monsters just like this luckily

TOPH BEIFONG

honestly! super excited loves a good fight this is so much better than some fancy lame dance! will protect people if the opportunity is available but is more focused on just knocking some monsters around

VICTOR NIKIFOROV

hiding. just hiding. are you kidding me? this is just a normal dude give him a break

ZAGREUS

unfortunately zagreus thinks fighting is fun and will be trying to keep track ofhow many monsters he can take out. if you want someone way too upbeat given the situation he’s your guy

ZHONGLI

another immortal not too worried about getting hurt. he’s more of the helpful sort though, and can create pretty powerful shields, and will do so to get people out of danger as needed. not fighting so much since he’s retired from that, but protection is definitely available from him.

[edelblau]

this is kind of a messy attempt at making this while freaking out a bit internally so forgive me, but after a lot of continued financial security im making a commissions post on tumblr even though i generally keep them on twitter (you can see the even messier twitter version of this post here)

ill try to keep this short since i said way too much on twitter-- i am in an unhappy living arrangement that is sucking me dry. i would like to move, and have been trying to save to that end. many of the items i currently own are at the end of their rope, though, resulting in unexpected expenses-- i am constantly having to re-consider how much i put in savings in a month due to things breaking (inevitably) due to the fact its been 5-10 years for a lot of them-- and the things i havent replaced yet like my mattress are broken but ‘salvageably’ so (bc who needs to sleep right?)

anyways! im taking commissions to try and raise a little bit extra and hopefully a. be able to afford just like. anything. and b. put stuff into savings, if possible.

EMOTES: 6 CAD per emote. intended for use on discord, as im not sure about other sites

SKETCHES: Estimated at 21 CAD (uncoloured). Depending on detail/colour this can go up, so let me know what you want and we can talk!

‘FULL’ IMAGES: idk the right word, but estimated at 42 CAD for a single character (no bg). +21 CAD for a discount on a second character, continuing for any extra characters beyond that point. background prices will depend on complexity of bg

tumblr message requests should be open, if that fails you can contact me on twitter @staroftumblr . you can also just send money without wanting a comm if you really want, idk im not a cop. even if you cant buy comms, id appreciate any rbs

things i wont do: mechs (idk how to draw them), hard nsfw (idk how to draw it), anything morally repugnant (any form of hate speech or pedophilia/incest). i can also refuse anything else for any reason

things i will do: furries, ocs, canon characters, oc/canon. if its not listed, ask

ko-fi | twitter

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Into The Unknown, Part 8

First

Previous

Marinette had never thought that living in another world would be this hard.

Sure, she had known that she would have issues when it came to the whole ‘she wasn’t technically supposed to be here and therefore needed a new identity’ thing. That was kind of obvious. The story they’d come up with had been simple enough -- she had grown up in Gotham with her parents, was highschool sweethearts with Tim, they had gotten married, he’d moved in with her, and her parents had died so she’d gotten custody of Damian. She was pretty sure Tim had a tragic backstory, but she didn’t really have that memorized yet. She wasn’t all that worried about it, though, she spent quite a lot of time dodging answering questions about her private life as Ladybug. Marinette probably wouldn’t even need to memorize his backstory (she would, of course, because she was nothing if not an overachiever, but she was well aware of the fact that it wasn’t quite necessary).

But, no, it was the small things that made it difficult.

Like affection.

Marinette was Parisian, she was used to greeting people with kisses on both cheeks. Hugs were something reserved for people you were close to.

But, no, Americans just insisted on being backward in everything that they do. And, supposedly, Marinette was American. She could get away with her accent because Gotham had a bunch of different people and it was easy to claim she came from the French part of town, but when it came to customs? No, she had to at least try and act like someone who had lived in America for her entire life.

So, when she was greeted with a hug from the most affectionate of her fellow interns, Marinette suppressed a cringe and patted her on the back awkwardly.

“Hi, Paige,” she said.

Paige beamed. “Ready for work?”

Marinette squinted up at the building. The WE in this universe was even taller than in her usual one.

… or maybe it just looked like that because she dreaded going inside. Ugh. Being an intern was going to suck.

“No.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

“Thanks…”

But, despite Paige’s assurances, it did not go fine.

And it wasn’t even the job thing that wasn’t going well. That, at least, she could handle. No, it was this world’s meme culture that sent her spiraling.

She’d been holding exactly nine cups of coffee, seven mugs of tea, and one energy drink can. Marinette didn’t know if it was her time working in a bakery or some sort of latent Ladybug skills or what but it wasn’t even all that difficult to hold them all.

Paige raised her eyebrows at her, looking vaguely concerned. “Do you need help?” She asked, hands already out as if expecting her to say yes.

Marinette cracked a grin. “No. I’m fine. It’s not even that hard. I could probably carry another two drinks, even.”

“Freaky flexing, but fine.”

“... the fuck did you just say to me?”

~

Tim hummed lightly as he bounced on the balls of his feet, baby sleeping soundly on his shoulder. Marinette fumbled the keys to their new apartment, mumbling curses.

She’d outright told him that she didn’t really care, that she’d lived above a bakery for most of her life so it wasn’t like she would mind as long as the place had counter space…

So why was he nervous?

He felt the tiny hand in his shirt grip him tighter and he looked down. Damian was still fast asleep, sucking on his pacifier peacefully. Tim wondered, idly, how that worked. Was it a reflex that humans lose as they age like the grasping reflex or was it a learned behavior that went away when it wasn’t reinforced anymore?

Marinette managed to open the door, her cheeks tinged red at how difficult it had been, and she swung it open.

He stopped bobbing up and down to watch her face.

But she just shrugged to herself and bent down to grab the box she’d brought up.

He tried not to look too relieved as he followed her inside and watched her set the box down on the kitchen island.

She glanced back at him. “I call cleaning and setting up the apartment!” She said brightly.

“Okay…?” He said, confused as to why she was so excited to clean up…

But then Damian started to stir.

Oh. If she had cleanup duty… then he had…

Baby duty.

Oh.

Oh no.

“Shit, Mari, wait --!”

“Too late! You already said okay!” She said, already heading to the door.

Damian spat out his pacifier and took that one long, deep breath he always took before he was about to scream.

“Mari!”

She stuck her tongue out at him and disappeared around the doorframe just as the baby started to cry.

Tim heaved a sigh and pressed a kiss to the top of the kid’s head. The wailing quieted a little, but didn’t stop. Tim would take it, he hadn’t even been expecting Damian to quiet himself. This was an absolute win in his book.

He glanced at the box that had been brought up but, unfortunately, they hadn’t had enough foresight to bring the baby supplies.

He poked his head out the door and yelled for Marinette to bring up the box with the baby stuff first. She yelled ‘fuck you’ in response but when she came back she handed him the box regardless.

He smiled -- or, at least, he smiled as much as it was possible to smile when a baby was screaming at you -- and went to work figuring out what was wrong.

~

There was good news and bad news.

Good news was that Damian was starting to learn that crying was okay.

Bad news was that Damian was starting to learn that crying was okay.

And, listen, Marinette obviously preferred that. She wanted to know when the kid was hurt or hungry or even just craving affection… but ugh.

She twisted around in the bed to squint at the clock.

Three o’clock. Great.

She groaned softly and buried her face in Damian’s hair again. “Dami, please, I have work tomorrow. Shhhhhhhhh,” she pleaded. As if she didn’t have to go to work every day.

Damian, of course, didn’t stop crying.

Marinette thought she was going to cry.

Tim pulled his arm from around them so he could cover his ears with his pillow.

She reluctantly sat up. Damian banged his little fists against her shoulder in an attempt to tell her… something. Probably that he wasn’t happy. As if the entire apartment complex couldn’t hear just how unhappy he was.

She changed his diaper and then got him Cow. Hopefully that would sate him for the rest of the night.

She clambered back into bed and sent Tim a weak smile when he wrapped an arm around them.

She scooted toward him, because Damian was reaching for him and his eyes were closed, and tucked her head under his chin. He tensed just slightly before relaxing and tangling his legs with hers.

Damian seemed to like being cocooned between them, because he made a vague happy sound and settled down to sleep without much (more) fussing.

Tim hummed lightly. His voice was terrible, but it seemed to calm Damian so Marinette wasn’t about to complain.

It took a while for Damian to go back to sleep but, eventually, he did. Unfortunately, he fell asleep while biting the crinkly ears of his plush and it was hard to sleep with the steady crkcrkcrkcrk sound right next to her.

From the way Tim’s breathing had yet to slow, he wasn’t asleep either.

Well, at least that was something to do.

“I’m beginning to think the reason babies are so cute is that otherwise we would kill them,” she joked, her voice soft so as not to wake the kid again.

Not that it would matter all that much. She could, unfortunately, not see herself going back to sleep before her alarm went off.

He chuckled and nodded as much as he could with her head beneath his. “Right? I just want one night of good sleep --.”

He stopped suddenly.

She drew back a little to check that he was fine, only to see him looking mildly horrified.

“We need to go back home soon. I’m going to get used to sleeping like a normal person. I can’t do that,” he said.

She grinned. “Oh no. The horror.”

“No, you don’t get it. If I do that then I’ll be giving into my family’s wishes. I can’t let them think they’re right about something!”

She giggled, shaking her head. “Here, I’ll make it easier for you: I don’t want you to sleep. As Dami and I are your only family -- legally -- for the next fifteen years, you must not do what we want. Therefore, you have to sleep.”

“Ah. Reverse psychology.”

“Well, I am a psych major.” Some of the amusement faded. “Was a psych major.”

“... really?”

“Yeah. I dunno. I’d figured it was the closest I could get to being Ladybug again.”

“You’re still Ladybug.”

She shrugged just slightly. “Yeah. I dunno,” she said again. She tried for a grin. “Doesn’t feel the same when there’s no emotional terrorism involved.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to do the same thing over and over again for a million years.”

“There’s some comfort in things staying the same.”

“Oh? Maybe we should trade.”

“That’s an amazing plan that I see no problems with. You get to go around beating up the Meta Of The Week and I’ll stay in Gotham dealing with all the idiots in spandex.”

“Are we switching outfits, too?”

“Oh yeah. Obviously. Gotta commit to the whole ‘switching’ thing. I bet I’ll look cuter in your outfit, too.”

“Ah, yes, because cuteness is the most important part of vigilante costumes.”

“We end up in papers all the time, being cute is totally important.”

He chuckled lightly and she felt the arm around her give her a tiny squeeze. She buried her face in his chest.

“You should try and sleep.”

“Hypocrite,” she teased, but she could already feel her eyelids drooping.

He hummed. She thought that, maybe, it didn’t sound so bad as to make him stop.

~

Tim had been in the middle of bathing Damian as he always did before bed when he’d accidentally splashed water on his face.

Perfectly fine and normal.

What wasn’t perfectly fine and normal was that the baby responded by saying: “Oh shit!”

Tim’s eyes narrowed.

“MARINETTE,” he yelled.

Marinette was there in seconds. There was some kind of green paste on her face. She’d been in the middle of her usual skincare routine. He thought it was kind of weird that near-immortals needed skincare routines but that wasn’t the point here.

She looked around frantically. “What?! What’s wrong?!”

“Damian just said sh --... he said the s-word.”

Marinette relaxed at that and sent Tim a glare. “Don’t blame this one on me. You’re the one that says that.”

Tim frowned. Because, now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure she was right.

“Now, if he’d said ‘fuck’, that would have been on me, but he didn’t, so --.”

“FUCK,” Damian said brightly.

Tim glared at Marinette again, this time rightfully so.

She looked a little sheepish. “... okay, yeah, that one’s on me.”

~~~~~

Next

@nathleigh @peachmuses @unoriginalmess @hammalammadamdam @astrynyx @laurcad123 @927roses-and-stuff

[aminiatureworld]

Frustration II

Characters: Albedo, Kaeya, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,820

Premise: Commissions don’t always go as planned, much to your frustration. Luckily there’s someone there to make you feel better.

Author’s Note: Okay I did not predict the first part of this becoming the most successful fic on this blog to date. The people have spoken! So I come to you with more characters, hopefully this will make up for leaving Zhongli in the dust yesterday – that and the fact that his scenario turned out to be the longest to write out of all of them. I also have a few other characters for this prompt in mind, we’ll see. Also wow I don’t know how to title sequels.

Once more my deepest thanks to the 115 people who liked, the 8 people who reblogged, and the one person who commented on the first part. I cannot tell you the joy it brings me to see that people are interested in what I write. It makes me so stupidly happy, so thank you so very much.

Albedo

“I understand that Forsaken Ruins are supposed to hide secrets and all, but honestly how many boxes can one put in the same area before someone tells you it’s time to stop.”

Albedo said nothing in reply, eyes focused intently upon the graduated cylinder and glass pipette in his hands. You watched as he counted the drops under his breath, nodding slightly as the clear water in the cylinder shifted to a rather unimpressive muddied brown. Regardless of the color evidently the alchemist was satisfied, for he stoppered the cylinder and returned the remaining liquid of the pipette into its original container, arranging everything on the shelves, and leaving the rest in the small sink.

“Silver nitrate.” He explained, wiping his hands on a cloth, before going towards where you were sitting cross legged on a stool near the countertop that worked as his desk. “Now tell me about why you’ve been digging up boxes near the Forsaken Ruins.”

“It’s for a commission. You know Bao’er?”

“That suspicious woman from Liyue I keep telling you is probably a bandit?”

“That one.” You nodded curtly, glancing down at your hands. “And bandit or not she keeps commissioning me, I can’t very well not accept. Anyways, she’s been looking for some sort of treasure, but no matter what I give her it’s never what she’s looking for. Do you know how irritating it is to have a passive aggressive customer angry at you about something they did? I mean really.” You huffed in frustration.

“Have you considered the fact that she might just be using you to dig up all the treasure in that area.” There was slight amusement in Albedo’s voice, and your head shot up in response.

“Well forgive me for doing my job.” You shook your head, not truly believing there was any bite behind the alchemist’s words. He was right after all, and you weren’t altogether upset to know that someone else shared your suspicions of this person who kept commissioning you with no end in sight.

“Forgive me love.” Albedo walked over and gave your slightly hunched figure a hug. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, leaning your head into his shoulder. The position you two in wasn’t necessarily comfortable, but there was nowhere proper for you both to sit, and besides Albedo’s embrace was so warm and secure you didn’t mind craning your neck a bit.

“You’ll get there eventually.” Albedo’s voice was steady, confident, as if he’d somehow calculated the fact that eventually this mad goose chase would end, had seen it in one of his many experiments.

“How would you know?” You whispered, still feel a bit contrary, though your frustration had long ebbed away.

“I just do. You can master anything with time you know. That’s the secret of science, the secret of alchemy. In the end it cannot be done without endurance, and I know that your endurance is one to withstand any storm.”

“Only when you’re cheering me on.” You replied, hugging Albedo a bit tighter.

“Oh that’s not true.” Albedo responded in kind, running circles along your back. “You’d do just fine without me. But I’ll be here for you regardless. So don’t forget that every question can be answered and every quest completed. It just takes a little time. We’re all humans in the end, regardless of vision or power. Just humans, and to be human is to sometimes need a little time.”

You nodded, lifting your head to glance into his face, usually passive and clear as ice, now filled with warmth and fondness, smile filled with fondness and love.

“Besides.” Albedo loosened his arms around you, instead reaching to help you off from the stool, laughing slightly as you stumbled, feet having fallen asleep. “I don’t see Bao’er doing any of the digging. How about you remind her of that next time she has an ill word.”

“Perhaps you’re right.” You replied, before leaving the lab, hand pressed firmly into Albedo’s and heart much lighter than before.

 Kaeya

“My darling!” Kaeya leapt down the steps outside the Headquarters of the Knights of Favonius, feet barely seeming to touch the ground, before sweeping you up in a hug. “It’s been too long and I’ve missed you so much.” He declared, ignoring the fact that it’d only been about 8 hours, instead peppering your face with small kisses, before registering the look of frustration clearly being worn by you.

“What’s wrong?” He drew back a bit, though not much, curiosity and worry in his eyes, hands gripping yours. You smiled, shaking your head; Kaeya always seemed to be ready to worry about your happiness, not that you didn’t find that completely charming.

“It’s nothing really important.” You were looking to assure him, but instead Kaeya’s frowned deepend.

“Nonsense. Anything that’s clearly making you so unhappy is of utmost importance. I’d like to know what it is, if you don’t mind. I’d like to help.”

“You’re helpful you being here.” You smiled, giving him a belated peck on the cheek. “But if you must know I’ve got a commission that needs to be done in an hour, and I have no idea how I’m going to accomplish it. You know how there’s a large vein of Crystal in Stormterror’s Lair? Well Wagner asked me to go mine some for him, easy stuff normally. Apparently though the mouth of the vein is situated right in the path of a ruin guard, and I’ve had a terrible time trying to do battle with the thing while being bogged down by mining equipment.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “I mean really this shouldn’t be that hard. Why am I struggling so much? Wagner isn’t asking that much, he’s a good person. I’m just… inept.” You finished, by then your nails had begun digging into your palms. Kaeya noticed this and brought your hands up to kiss them, smiling as you reddened slightly and shook your head, a smile nevertheless tugging at the corner of your mouth.

“Well I won’t tell you that Wagner is being utterly too demanding and that you have a right to a safe work environment,” you snorted at that, as if an adventurer’s work environment was ever safe, “but I will tell you that, since the best, most handsome, most daring Knight of Favonius has fallen hopelessly in love with you, he is willing to do the mining while you use that ruin guard to blow off some steam. Does that sound like a good deal?”

“I can’t believe you’re sitting out a chance to fight and instead are becoming a miner.” You smirked, placing a kiss on Kaeya’s jaw. “But really how could I ever turn down such an offer from such a gallant knight.”

“You’d run back to Wagner and give his ears a rightful scorching I’d hope.” Kaeya replied, linking his arm in yours.

“Hmm… unlikely.” You replied, leaning into the knight. “But thank you Kaeya. Truly, thank you. I know it’s not your job to fix commissions. It means a great deal to me that you’re willing to do this.”

“Of course I’m willing.” Kaeya smiled softly. “You’ve saved me from failing my job too, in more ways than you think. And even if that weren’t true, which it is, I love you so very dearly, and this is a small way to show it.”

You nearly ran into a lamppost, your face pressed into Kaeya’s shoulder, face warm and heart full of love.

 Zhongli

You really didn’t want to tell Zhongli.

That was the thought running through your mind as you hurried up the steps to the funeral parlor. You really didn’t want to tell him.

It’d been little more than a month since he’d given up his position as god of the city, little more than a month since the citizens of Liyue had begun the arduous task of ruling their own city in earnest. And little more than a month since you and the Geo god had begun your courtship. You relationship was still new, and though you’d thankfully mostly lost the sense of smallness that had initially come with falling in love with someone so powerful and so unending as a deity, though you now longer thought the love between you was something that could shatter at any moment, you still were a bit reticent to throw all your insecurities and mundane frustrations at Zhongli’s feet.

The smell of incense hit you the moment you entered, a bit overwhelming at first, but soon comforting and familiar. You exchanged a few words with Hu Tao, before walking over to Zhongli’s office, pace speeding up despite yourself. You might not have wanted to tell Zhongli about your day, but you desperately wanted to see him, as you always did when all was said and done. There was something about his presence, comforting and sturdy, and always filled with kindness and understanding.

Understanding. Zhongli would understand, of course he would. But you still didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want to see his face cloud over with worry as you knew it would. He cared so very deeply, even if he didn’t always express it he truly did. Hidden under layers of politesse, tradition, and decorum there was simply someone who cared so very deeply. And thus someone who was often and easily hurt.

“Hello darling.” You said, entering the office quietly. Zhongli had been reading a scroll, but he quickly set it down, a smile erupting across his face as he stood up and met you halfway, enveloping you in a hug, which you gladly reciprocated. “I’ve missed you.” You said, voice muffled by his chest.

“I’ve missed you too, so very much.” He replied softly, one hand running itself through your hair absentmindedly, the other wrapped around your waist. “The days are terribly slow without you. I never noticed before how an afternoon can stretch so long.”

“Well I’m here now.” You replied, leaning back and bit to cup the archon’s face in your hands. Zhongli placed one of his hands on yours, leaning into your palm, smiling contentedly.

“I’m glad of it.” He said those words often enough, but every time it made your heart speed a bit. You felt so full of happiness you could almost forget the irritation of the earlier hours.

Almost.

“How were your commissions today?” It was early evening by now, and golden light was starting to slant through the windows. Zhongli was cleaning up a bit as you watched, smiling slightly. That smile slipped however once the question was asked, not that you didn’t know it was coming, as you two often asked each other about your days, each being a bit fascinated with the other’s job in some respect.

“It was alright. Fairly ordinary.” You tried keeping your answers brief and your tone light, though you could already hear the sharpness in your voice. Irritation was difficult to hide however, and you could already see skepticism in Zhongli’s gaze as he turned to face you.

“Oh. What were the commissions, if I may ask, the regular spots?”

“Mostly. I had one where I had to deliver a message to the Inn too, and one where, well, it was less of a commission and more of… well honestly I’m not sure what to call it.” You finished, tone by now filled with a mix of irritation an cynical amusement. Zhongli stopped altogether at that and sat at his chair, facing the spot you’d taken on the desk.

“May I ask what happened.” He said once more, tone slightly worried. Shit. Wasn’t this exactly the reason you hadn’t wanted to tell him?

“Well, you see I’m not the only guild member of course. And it’s almost the end of the month. What with everything that’s happened they needed someone to ask after some of the unfinished commissions, the ones that had a time limit. I finished my work early so I went.”

“And?”

“And, well. Well some of these adventurers were honestly hopeless!” You burst out, having shed your worries in your frustration. “I mean I know they mean well, I know they’re trying. Or at least I hope they are, you can’t really tell at some points. Like this one guy, I asked about why he hadn’t done any of the food deliveries he said he would and he made some odd excuse that a coworker was supposed to take care of it while he looked for a text that someone else wanted. Okay, fine. I go to the coworker, and she says that it was a one time thing as far as she was concerned and that she didn’t go to pick up the food after. I go to the restaurants themselves and turns out half the orders never go tthere and the other half have been put on a tab that need to be paid but no one thought to pay it so I do so. That doesn’t even begin with whoever did a hack job at the Wangshu Inn, apparently the boards have caved in again. And I was going to do that, but then I got pulled into some monster hunting so that won’t be done this month and honestly, it’s all just so… so frustrating!” You felt like you were spiraling at that point, all the frustration and shame coming back to you, the feeling of having to smile at someone who you’d much rather scream at.

Your thoughts cleared as Zhongli reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder. Bringing his hand up to your face he wiped away a few tears of frustration that you’d shed. Shaking your head you took his hand in yours. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t worry you about these things. I don’t want you to think Liyue is falling apart. I mean this was a thing even before you stepped down, and I know that I’m complaining too much and it’ll be fine it’s just, it’s just a lot.”

“I know.” Zhongli smiled softly. “You shouldn’t feel like hiding these things for my sake. I appreciate the sentiment, but I’d rather truly know how you’re feeling. Just like you don’t want to place a burden on me, so do I not want to place a burden by you by making it seem as if you have to carry your cares alone.”

“But, with everything so recent… I just. I worry you’ll regret it.”

Zhongli smiled, and leaned in, kissing your forehead. He smelled of incense and glaze lilies, and you found the knot in your stomach uncoiling despite itself. Smiling you linked your fingers through his, focusing on that as Zhongli kept a hand on your cheek, grounding you.

“Thank you for worrying about me. But just as I trust you’d tell me if Liyue were truly about to burn to the ground, so do I trust that it won’t happen. You’ve taught me that you know.”

“Me? Not the Liyue Qixing or the traveler? I think they’ve done a lot more than my running around will ever do.” You smiled a self-deprecating smile, but Zhongli simply shook his head.

“You have taught me that. How you keep going, how you support those you don’t even know for the sake of your guild and your commission, even if you have a grievance. And, more than that, you’ve shown it to me, simply by letting me have a place in your heart.” He lowered his gaze, face clouding over in the way you knew it did when he was considering the past. You gave his hand a squeeze and he looked up, smiling softly.

“I used to think that humans were delicate, no matter what. That they were destined for the tragedy of death and that made them unable to be depended on, that they’d just break and break and that I’d spend my existence watching it until I couldn’t stand it anymore. But you showed me that ultimately humans are resilient, more resilient than any adepti or magical being, who cannot stand to face time or pain or hard work. You’ve taught me that, and if you’ll let me I’d like to share that with you, your burdens, your frustrations, your anxieties. I’d like to be there to support you, if I cannot fix it then I’d at least like to be there for you. So please, don’t hide your struggles from me, so I may remind you that they’re simply proof of your power.”

You didn’t really know what to say, smiling in a mix of relief, sadness, and adoration. Leaning in to kiss Zhongli you felt the word recede and grow around you. You didn’t know how he did it, how he took all your cares and worries and flaws and morphed them into something beautiful.

But that was what made Zhongli special, and you adored him for it.