#maximizing my old man energy as much as possible

[doodlboy]

Yo!!! New name time!✨️

We're tryin out Elias for a bit✌️💙✨️

[medicinemane]

Man... I guess that today what I'm gonna do when I work up the energy to go do it, is just like... sort the paper even further, and like... find all the newspapers for example, and then just... cram it down as tightly as I can in a box and try and maximize the amount I fit and just hope that if I fit a large enough amount of old papers into new boxes that I'll somehow manage to free up enough space to fit more shit in the storage room

Then if I deal with the papers well enough, I can treat myself to opening more fucking boxes up cause I'll have room in my paper intake again

Once I empty all these old boxes that I have in this room, I guess that'll be the point I start trying to do the same with irregular shaped object... trying to cram as much as possible in without breaking stuff, minimize the airgaps

Fuck I hate this stuff, I'm so bad at it, but I kinda don't have a choice

...this isn't even touching on when I get back to dealing with the fabrics at the end of this and have to figure out how to roll them or some other extremely tight form of packing

Man I'm trash, man I don't have a choice but to get this place clean. Very very important I have the place clean by the end of april

[diatribeofamadman]

#13

Bringing it back home.

As I stated recently it's all about starting at home. Or starting with oneself. So maybe instead of going gung-ho trying to help starving Afghani children, I need to worry about myself. However, I have accepted the reality that's I'm potentially going to ride this bitch to the ground. In this instance, I'm referencing my body and my physical well-being.... So if I won't fix my physical well-being based off of common sense decisions regarding consumption, moderation and nutrition, then I am no use to anyone and I should stop writing. Except I'm not writing to help people. I'm writing to think through my thoughts. You're reading them, fuck off.

I should use my focus and energy to assist what's left of the native Americans. After generations of genocide, lies, and overall degradation of community and culture, I think they deserve as much care and consideration as anyone else... But I know from personal experience no matter the race religion culture ethnicity of a human being, they don't need charity, not in the form of goods or food. They need charity in the form of infrastructure and organization that allows them to produce or obtain these things through trade. It's the whole givea man a fish teach him to fish proverb. This is where I need to define a tangible goal/strategy regarding my desire to focus my energy towards "charity". And if I'm really going to get anywhere, I just need to go down to my local homeless shelters and start digging in to this mess we call modern society. I guess I should really figure out how to film this so that I can at least be posting the experience while simultaneously documenting what occurs on video so that as I face people that want to maintain the status quo, I already have the evidence of the occurrence, and only have to worry about the piano wire.

Guess what guys, you're going to do the rough plan with me right here and now. We need.

Hypothesis: The failure to assist the under advantaged successfully is a result of mismanagement or misdirection more than a matter of lack of funding. I believe that the amount of funding available is sufficient to develop and establish systems and facilities to provide the disadvantaged a better standard of living as well as a better opportunity to excel at living.

Materials:

Body mounted camera. Small and discreet. But capable of recording a significant amount of data. Reduction in video quality is acceptable in order to maximize the amount of recording time on the device. I do not ever intend to disclose the fact that I'm recording, I also intend to fully blur the faces of any individuals I record prior to releasing any video in the event of blatant corruption.

Audio recording device. Alternative to video in the event that I am required to participate in activities that limit my ability to have a secure video recording device.

Day planner. I'm old school fuck you. I could use Google calendar or the Samsung cunt calendar. I don't use Apple because I don't like the idea of child slavery you assholes. Even though I love Apple and I love Steve Jobs and I love almost everything about their devices. However, the business model that has slaves throughout the entire chain and enslaves its users is not something I can support. And even if I did and had my Apple calendar, I'd still want to fucking day planner. Because I'm going to write things in it random things as well as have additional notes that are not necessarily something I'm going to set a timer for. I use a alarm clock before I use a calendar note. Which is odd because everything you've read I talk text and then sometimes proofread. Sometimes...

Balls of steel or fire in my belly. Possibly requiring both. If you ever seen video of someone speaking at a town meeting. That takes balls. And fire in your belly. This kind of operation will take a considerable amount of commitment. Especially considering I would be operating on my own with only myself to guide and assist me. I'm basically fucked. Because I can't see everything all the time. Even the fates can't. But they all know it's happening when it happens. Lol

Sobriety. 🥺 It's not an achievable goal for me and something I frequently slow in and out of. Unfortunately, complete sobriety is required for this task. That means no marijuana. That means angry angry angry madman. But maybe that's what I need. Maybe I need to stop sedating myself. Maybe I need to be so fucking angry inside at all of the injustice that I go out and I tear down those that would oppress and pick up those that are oppressed. Maybe. Maybe. Definitely. Fuck you me.

Procedure:

This will involve first identifying exactly how the social welfare system works. I'm not overly concerned with understanding the EBT, WIC, whatever the fuck program the average impoverished person is on. I'm going to go for the bottom of the barrel first. I want to establish an understanding of how we as a society deal with our least advantaged people. So I guess I'm going for homeless shelters, food banks, and I don't know yet. But my initial research will take me into understanding what those most at-risk people have available to them and then begin to infiltrate those charities or institutions in order to understand how exactly their servicing the community and where exactly they're failing to do so.

Results: TBD

[myers-meadow]

Ambrose summer vacation: Vincent x OC x Bo

Title: The Ambrose Summer Vacation

Ao3 link Chapter 2 here. Chapter 3 here.

Summary: On vacation in southern Louisiana, a friend is seduced by a handsome southern man to visit his museum in a small town called Ambrose. The vacation lasts longer than intended. During her stay, Katyusha tries her best to get a hold of the Sinclair brothers, to understand what is going on, and perhaps to claw her way to freedom. Their receptiveness to her soon causes a complicated predicament and her struggles grow as she gets in over her head.

Contents: Vincent x OC and Bo x OC. OC is female, named, but has otherwise little specified backstory. Slower burn than my usual stuff, and it is dark. It is a poly fic, but no threesomes and the brothers aren't involved with each other.

Warnings: Kidnapping, canon-typical violence.

Wordcount: 1283 words.

Divider by @/firefly-graphics

Ambrose was never on the list of places to visit that summer, yet it is where we eventually went. The wind was warm that day, and it was almost unbearable in Johanna’s car with the broken AC. We made fans out of magazine paper to have at least a bit of breeze. Visiting a small town’s wax museum had seemed stupid and frivolous even then, but Maxim had decided on going. Nico and I were not big fans, but what could it hurt? It was after a handsome man gave Maxim the tip and the directions, and we all knew how Maxim could not resist that southern accent…

When the murders started, I was asleep in a bedroom at the old Sinclair house. Stupidly, stupidly asleep. A migraine had made it impossible to be in the sun any longer, and the handsome man had offered to walk me to his home, so I could lay down for a bit. Maxim went with me, becoming the first to be caught in their grasp.

After waking up, taking another dose of all possible painkillers I had on me and drinking a good glass of water, I felt better. In my hazy, romantic mood, I was touched by the kindness the stranger had provided us. Southern hospitality. I found the kitchen, with a plan taking form.

To bake something sweet, sand cookies; the way I made them when I was little. And to leave some cash for the ingredients, which were only flour, sugar, milk, cinnamon. I shaped them with a chipped beer glass and pressed the edges with a fork.

A voice sounded from another room deeper in the house, Bo’s. Something was up. My movements halted, but then the cooking alarm beeped, and I was spurred into action. Shut off the alarm, finding oven mitts.

“I told you to take care of her,” Bo said, deep, almost hushed but much too loud. Something mean to his tone. Getting closer. “Well, if she’s not asleep, where is she? Should’ve been too easy. Just surprise ‘em like you always do, what do you mean you don’t-”

Pushing the oven door open, I squatted and quickly took out the baking tray. Plating the cookies I put so much love and gratitude into, hissing at the heat of them.

And when I turned around, plate in hand, I came face to face with Bo. Next to him stood a masked man with long, black hair. The energy in the kitchen had shifted. In every way, the men demanded attention, intimidating me with their broad shoulders and tall postures. The table in between us provided little sense of safety, as the men blocked any possible exit.

“There she is,” Bo smirked, the smirk that had caused us to come here in the first place. I cursed his face inwardly. “And what have you been up to, darlin’?”

With eyes like that of a deer caught in the headlights, oven mitts still on, I wondered if this would be the end. “I-“ Voice croaked. “I baked cookies, as a thank-you for being so kind. Were you… looking for me? Where’s Maxim?”

I held the plate out to both men, neither made a move to take one, so I put the plate down on the table, threw the mitts on the counter. They shared a look. The masked one signed something, the other one shook his head. I wiped my hands on my skirt, fisting the material to ground myself.

Bo shifted his attention to me. “Change of plans, sweets. It seems Vincent has taken a liking to you, so there’s a few options.”

“Oh, I don’t like the sound of that,” I mumbled, then raising my eyebrows to let them know how to continue. Vincent signed something, looking at me. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak American Sign Language. Can you perhaps write it down?”

With fast scribbles, he did so. ‘I would like to draw you’, was all it said as he held up the small sketchbook. I leaned forward, hands on the table, to read it.

“Alright, that should be possible, certainly,” I said slowly, still unsure. A glance at Bo unsettled me even more. “But what was that before, what-“

Bo answered, smirk growing wider. “Perhaps you’ll find out soon enough. Now, off you go, Vince’s workshop is in the basement.”

Basement? That did not bode well. Vincent grabbed my arm before I could protest, and without thinking, I grabbed a few cookies - determined to enjoy my last moments on earth - and followed him. His grip was strong enough to bruise.

The workplace was dark, lit only by candles. Shadows flickered over the walls. There was a bed in the corner, on it laid a dog. She perked up her eyes when she spotted her master.

There was a wooden table in the middle of the room, with all sorts of stains, and workbenches against two of the walls. The man let go of my arm, pinning me in place with a stare instead. He sat down on the stool by the workbenches and pushed his hair behind his shoulder. He found a pencil, larger papers. I set the cookies down on the edge of the table, instinctively wiping the crumbs off. Vincent gestured to the bench, assuming I needed to sit down, I hopped on it, dangling my legs. With anxious eyes I followed his every move.

He studied me. Endlessly, before putting pencil to paper. Attempting bravery, I met his gaze. Quickly I grew used to the white mask and its expressionless face, framed by the long hair. Suddenly he stood, putting paper down and his hands were on me again. Positioning me. Close enough so I could feel his overbearing warmth, his masculine smell. He made me pull up my legs into a tailer’s sit, to lean back and look away from him. Somewhere to the right of the basement. His hands lingered as he positioned my chin. He pulled away, sat down again.

With a glance at him, I asked: “Can I talk still?”

Only a nod. He started sketching.

“The dog, what’s her name?”

On the top of the paper, he wrote ‘Jonesy’, before bending over the paper again.

“Thanks. She looks very sweet.”

Silence. Just pencil on paper. My throat felt dry. After this… What then? ‘Surprise ‘em like you always do’, as Bo had said?

“Is your back okay like that? Wouldn’t it be better to rest the paper on the table?” I asked, scratching my head, then resuming position again. He barely looked up, but did adjust his posture.

It didn’t take long for anxiety to make me visibly restless. I wonder how many people he has drawn, whether he was used to such a jittery subject. Standing up once more, he stood in front of me. Towering over me despite the height of the table. One of his eyes was dark, as if it wasn’t there, hidden deep behind the mask. Warm hands kneaded my biceps, made me feel caged. Then up, to the back of the neck, the other hand on my shoulder. My hair, pushing fingers into my scalp. I bit my lip. What is he doing?

A scream sounded in the distance. I jolted, although that caused me to lean into Vincent’s grasp, bumped my knees against his hips. More screams, different ones.

“Johanna!” I gasped, then pressed my hand over my mouth. With a last look to me, Vincent stepped away. I pushed myself off of the bench, looking towards the hallway behind me. How long was that corridor? Overcome by panic, I ran. A hard hit to the head ended that quickly.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

20 WOMEN VOCALISTS IN METAL WHO ARE A DRIVING FORCE FOR THE GENRE

Lzzy Hale

If you haven’t heard of the colossal Halestorm and their show-stealing frontlady Lzzy Hale by now, how’s it been living under that rock? Out here in the real world, both rock and metal have been battling to claim Halestorm and Hale’s presence since the band’s first EP, (Don’t Mess With The) Time Man, in 1999. From the vitriolic masochism of “I Miss The Misery” to the heart-wrenching “Here’s To Us,” Hale’s vocal range reaches each extreme of moving emotion and devastating attitude. We couldn’t pay tribute to Hale without also recognizing her guitar talents. Check the sassy leading line from “Love Bites (So Do I)” as an example of this phenomenal lady’s ability to step beyond musical expression and into aural artistry.

SKYND

True crime has never been more compelling than at the hands of Australian electronic-metal sensation SKYND and their mystifying frontwoman of the same name. Tackling a new real-life mystery with each track, covering the disappearance and mysterious death of “Elisa Lam” and the doomed cult following of “Jim Jones,” SKYND’s haunting vocals tell each tale as if they were acting out in front of you. SKYND’s dedication to her theatrical persona (plus the ability to keep her real identity a secret), her iconic look and the creation of lore around her exposition of real-life crimes is a mystery the metal world may never solve, but perhaps it never should.

Taylor Momsen

Gossip Girl? We don’t know her—we know Taylor Momsen as the sultry tones commanding metal’s sassiest frontrunners the Pretty Reckless. With her gravelly vocals offset by her signature blacked-out eyes and suspenders, Momsen is an all-around powerhouse frontlady who bends all of your stereotypical expectations of a female vocalist. Take the hissing attitude of “Make Me Wanna Die,” the iconic summer anthem through “Messed Up World (F’d Up World),” the doomed “Going To Hell” and the gloriously filthy “My Medicine”—she’s not here for your entertainment, simply to make music in her own inimitable devil-may-care way.

Sharon den Adel

Where symphonic-metal outfits go through vocalists like water, Within Temptation’s Sharon den Adel has held on to her throne at the very beating heart of the genre since 1996. The band that introduced you to the dark side in high school has come a long way from “Angels” and “Our Farewell” to their most recent sensation “The Purge,” but the enduring talents of the angelic den Adel at the helm remain as moving as ever. Whether your heart breaks or races along with the captivating stories told through her cherubic vocals, den Adel’s talents have kept this legendary band alive and relevant for 25 years. We’re hanging on the edge of our seats for a new album.

Amy Lee

Most millennials were introduced to the world of metal through Evanescence’s invasion of radio airtime in the early 2000s, making vocalist Amy Lee an initial encounter in female presence in a heavily male realm. With an unforgettably haunting vocal range that can reach into your chest and pull out your heart with a single note, Lee’s trademark sound has lived in our minds since 2003’s Fallen and has no intention of letting go. From the iconic “Bring Me To Life” to her solo career’s “Speak To Me” and most notably the captivating “My Immortal,” Lee’s inimitable voice of an angel showed metal how to truly capture the mainstream.

Melissa Bonny

You’ve never seen symphonic metal quite like Switzerland’s Ad Infinitum and, consequently, you’ve never seen a frontwoman quite like Melissa Bonny. With her compelling vocals at the helm, each track tells a story steeped in historic struggles and triumphs as the band members each adopt a story of survival during the time of the Black Death in Europe. Every member appears in a plague doctor’s mask except Bonny, commanding the narrative as her show-stopping range transitions from heavenly cleans to venomous screams with ease. Ad Infinitum and Bonny’s towering talents begin an epic quest through the ranks of metal, and nothing will stand in their way.

Simone Simons

Symphonic-metal outfits face a constant challenge to stay relevant and move forward with the scene around them, more so than any other subgenre. However, the dreamy contributions of Simone Simons have kept Epica at the forefront of their genre since 2002. The band that once created “Storm The Sorrow” have matured to the lofty heights of “The Skeleton Key” with Simons’ operatic tones at the helm, bringing her angelic range to the band’s cinematic instrumentals and occasional death-metal infusions.

Maria Brink

Since their inception in 2005, In This Moment have redefined performance art and metal all at the same time, thanks to the command of iconic vocalist Maria Brink. Challenging religious imagery alongside feminine stereotypes, Brink’s presence both on and offstage has decimated the white male dominance of the metal genre. It takes a certain conviction and attitude to pull off the likes of “Whore” and “Blood” without trivializing their core moral messages, but Brink has rewritten the book on expectations of women in the heavy music industry. Long may she reign.

Larissa Stupar

Vicious, teeth-baring uncleans are the domain of Venom Prison’s Larissa Stupar, death metal’s brightest rising star. Whoever said women had to be the saccharine, angelic feminine contribution to metal clearly never met Stupar, who belts savage growls as if delivered from the gates of hell itself. The likes of “Uterine Industrialisation” and “Slayer Of Holofernes” prove devastating both live and in the studio when this unrelenting powerhouse gets her chops around them.

Alissa White-Gluz

Arch Enemy’s screamer-in-chief makes belting superhuman notes look easy. Alissa White-Gluz’s cord-shredding talents are the result of a career that started when she formed the Agonist at the age of 19. Joining Arch Enemy in 2014 gave White-Gluz a platform to showcase her range and also gave us her contagious live presence on a bigger stage. Providing her distinctive tones to regular collaborations with Kamelot and Delain, the voice behind Arch Enemy’s “War Eternal” and “You Will Know My Name” is no stranger to framing racing riffs with her guttural chops and showing off her heavenly cleans when the instrumentals allow.

Cristina Scabbia

The dual vocal onslaught we know and love from Lacuna Coil compels and fascinates, thanks to the storming presence of Cristina Scabbia. Dominating the metal scene since the ’90s, the enduring Italian crew pour richly gothic melodies over devastating riffs. Scabbia’s heavenly clean vocal is the cherry on top. From unforgettable classics such as “Our Truth” to their latest show-stopping “Save Me,” her dream-like range has been an invaluable gift to metal for over two decades and hopefully many, many more.

Tarja Turunen

The thought of losing founding Nightwish vocalist Tarja Turunen to the abyss of former symphonic singers when she left the outfit in 2005 was too much to bear. Luckily for us, Turunen kick-started her solo career the following year, and she’s been a mainstay of the metal scene ever since. The heavenly operatics that once heralded classics such as “Wish I Had An Angel” and “Nemo” now belts “Innocence” and “Tears In Rain” with the most celestial, earthbound vocals the genre has seen to date.

Suzuka Nakamoto

Easily the youngest member of our ranking, Suzuka Nakamoto, known as Su-metal, is the founding member of Japanese sensations BABYMETAL. With all the maturity of an artist twice her age, this 23-year-old puts us all to shame with her consistent energetic vocals and seemingly endless energy supplies while performing impeccable dance routines onstage. Between the iconic “Gimme Chocolate!!” and BABYMETAL’s latest “Kingslayer” collaboration with Bring Me The Horizon, there’s no denying she has a long and prolific career ahead of her.

Amalie Bruun

Myrkur has become a relentless hot topic in metal since its inception in 2014, and we have only recently discovered the identity of the haunting vocals at its heart. Now we can credit multi-instrumental composer Amalie Bruun with the rise of this mysterious Danish project, led into the wilderness by her raw screams bursting through cherubic cleans just when you least expect it. Often singing in Norwegian as an authentic twist on her own style of black metal, the theatrical “Ulvinde” and “Juniper”’s lingering atmospherics merely scratch the surface of Bruun’s compelling storytelling talents.

Elize Ryd

Amaranthe’s triple-threat vocals fetch their lighter tones from Elize Ryd, the Swedish outfit’s not-so-secret weapon who brings cherubic notes to their modern take on organized metallic chaos. Also known for her additions to Kamelot, both live and in the studio, Ryd’s heavenly cords and quirky songwriting add a bucketload of atmosphere and depth to the likes of “Amaranthine” and “Maximize,” making Amaranthe’s unique versatility one that continually sets trends for years to come.

Cammie Gilbert

Houston doom-metal upstarts Oceans Of Slumber have found themselves on a near-vertical trajectory over the last few years, a movement fronted by the tireless energy and boundless talents of their powerhouse vocalist Cammie Gilbert. Upon joining the band in 2014, Gilbert’s towering range came to the surface as her vocals neatly expand the lulling melancholy of “Winter” and the desperate cries of “A Return To The Earth Below,” as if her vocals project both fragility and strength at the same moment.

Heidi Shepherd and Carla Harvey

We couldn’t separate the two ladies commanding Butcher Babies, so this slot goes out to both Heidi Shepherd and Carla Harvey as the double-trouble onslaught who have brought us “Monsters Ball” and “Magnolia Blvd.” If you’re looking for a nonstop, indulgent party with the possibility of a snapped neck or two, look no further than L.A.’s dirtiest metal export that have become a staple on everybody’s festival bucket list. This versatile pair have made thrash their own ever since their 2013 debut, Goliath, showed the metal scene what it had been so desperately lacking—two relentless ladies who know exactly how to have a good time.

Chelsea Wolfe

Surprisingly the only strictly solo appearance on this list, Chelsea Wolfe has made metal her very own since her arrival in 2010, draping a veil of folk-y atmosphere and gothic depth over seductive doom-metal undertones. Combining her boundary-smashing approach with a sadistically dark visual style, Chelsea Wolfe somewhat ironically injects life into doom by refusing to conform to the genre’s ’90s stereotypes. She wraps her smooth vocal swathes around the compelling melancholy of “Feral Love” and “16 Psyche,” as if redressing the world around her in her own image.

Tatiana Shmayluk

You’d be forgiven for thinking Ukrainian outfit Jinjer tell their lyrical tales through the voice of three separate individuals covering melodic cleans, ear-splitting screams and guttural snarls and somewhat effortlessly slipping between them. The single towering voice behind this band’s meteoric rise belongs to Tatiana Shmayluk, flexing her multi-talented chops on “Perennial” and “Sit Stay Roll Over” just to increase your vocal envy. We’re still not sure how she pulls off such smooth transitions between the polar opposite personas onstage, but we can’t seem to look away.

Floor Jansen

Taking on the mammoth task of fronting the pioneering outfit Nightwish in 2013, Floor Jansen donned her new role as if she was born for it. Jansen’s inimitable honeyed tones ushered in a new age for the symphonic-metal icons, weaving her slick melodic range through the band’s trademark cinematic instrumentals. The theatrical atmospheres tracked on “Élan” and “Noise” give Jansen the room to flex her operatic range while she narrates the vibrant, tall tales we know and love from Nightwish.

[bondsmagii]

Here’s something I really can’t explain.

To sum up: I shouldn’t be alive right now. I shouldn’t be writing this. I have no idea how any of this could have happened, but the fact you’re reading this now is kind of living proof that it did happen, so I suppose I’ll try and explain it as best as I can.

A little backstory for you. Way back in the late forties, my great-grandfather was a young man working with the local fire department. He came back after the war and just couldn’t settle into any kind of desk job, so despite my great-grandmother worrying about his mental state he ended up running into burning buildings for a living. Naturally he saw some messed up shit, but nothing haunted him more than a hotel fire that he attended.

At the time there had been an annual prize night for a local grammar school. Hundreds of kids and their families were crammed into the hotel’s large ballroom when a stray match lit up the curtains on the stage. Back in the day they weren’t exactly great about fire safety, and the walls and furniture were panelled or made with highly flammable materials. The whole room went up in minutes. Over one hundred people died, over half of which were children below the age of fifteen. It was an indescribable tragedy, and my great-grandfather – along with every first responder there – was scarred for life over the things he saw that evening.

My great-grandfather did his best to live with what happened, and for the most part he did well, all things considered. All of his grief seemed to be directed towards one little girl, who was never identified or claimed. She was badly burned but not unrecognisable; the theory was that her whole family had died with her, leaving nobody left to notice she was gone. She wasn’t the only person to suffer this fate, unfortunately – all told, five people were never claimed by families – but because my great-grandfather was the one to pull her body from the wreckage, he sort of became obsessed with her. He was preoccupied until his death with finding out her identity, and every year on the anniversary of the fire he visited her grave to lay a wreath. Unfortunately, he died without ever finding out who she was.

Fast forward a few decades, and I’m in my early twenties. My great-grandfather died when I was quite young, so I only had a small idea of this part of his history. It was, however, enough to make me wary of large fires – especially hotel fires. One summer, I’m visiting another city for my younger brother’s university graduation, and I stay the night in a hotel near the city centre. I remember fires were on my mind already, because initially they had tried to give me a room on the twenty-third floor, and I had politely refused and requested a lower floor. (An old maxim of my great-grandfather’s: never stay on a floor where you wouldn’t survive the fall.) Because of the graduation, the hotel was packed, and I ended up on the fifth floor in the end, but I figured it was better than nothing.

The first night was fine. The second night a fire broke out. The hotel had had some electrical rewiring done within the last month, and something went wrong. The fire smouldered for hours, undetected, before spreading into multiple parts of the ventilation system. Smoke and flame was pushed to all corners of the hotel before the fire cut out the power. Later, investigators would discover that the fire burned through the power for the smoke and fire detection alarms almost immediately – yet somehow the fire alarms went off. This is only the beginning of the inexplicable that night.

By the time the alarms woke me, my room was already filled with smoke. I had been drilled on this so many times as a child that it was instinctive for me to roll off the bed and onto the floor; only then did I start to panic. Luckily I had fallen asleep with the curtains open – the only time I had ever done that in a hotel – and the city lights illuminated the room enough to let me know the smoke was only in the top two thirds of the room, and not as thick as it could have been. I had time to crawl into the bathroom, wet a towel, and tie it around my nose and mouth. Then I crawled to the door and lay a hand flat on it. The door was cool, so I cautiously pulled it open.

In the hallway, it was pitch dark. This is the worst case scenario for any fire. Smoke disorientates people, and they feel ill from inhaling it. Panic compounds the confusion. People can get lost in their own homes – hotels are the worst place for something like this. People stand little chance of getting out if they haven’t memorised an exit, and even then it’s not foolproof. I should know. I always memorise exits, but when I went out of my room I turned the wrong way. I don’t know why. I was panicking, I was confused, and I just made the wrong choice. It should have cost me my life.

I realised my mistake as soon as I reached the end of the hall. The door there was propped open (fire safety hazard, I remember thinking, like it mattered at that point) but I could see no flames. The door led to the stairwell, and I had just crawled out onto it when the entire world went black. The smoke and flame had intensified, the fire sucking in oxygen and the smoke being forced up the stairwell like a huge chimney. It spilled over the edges of the landing and enveloped me even hunched on my hands and knees. My eyes began to sting and water; I couldn’t see anything. I crawled back and bumped into the wall, and for several long seconds that felt like minutes, I couldn’t find my way out of the stairwell. The heat was evaporating the water in the towel, and the sheer amount of smoke meant it wasn’t doing much good anyway. By the time I finally made it back out into the hall, I was coughing and choking. Panic made me pull the towel down. I only took the smallest breath before the floor tilted under me and I experienced a horrible rush of lightheadedness – with smoke so toxic, sometimes a breath is all it takes.

I kept crawling, heading back towards my room, now realising my mistake. At that point I was forcing myself to stay calm, but it wasn’t working. I had realised I had probably just gotten myself killed, and it was almost impossible to breathe. The temperature was climbing, and I knew the fire was close. I could hear screaming from somewhere nearby, doors slamming. Every single rational thought had left. I scrambled down the hallway in pure panic, and then I saw the child.

She was hunched down, looking right at me. She wasn’t in any kind of night clothing – she looked like she was still in the clothing she would have worn at the graduation ceremony, a neat little dress and polished shoes, a ribbon tied in her hair. She was perhaps eight years old at my best guess, and seeing her shocked some sense into me. Before I could speak or gesture to the direction she should go, she waved and then pointed.

“Come on, mister,” she said. “This way.”

Together we crawled to the other end of the hallway. Smoke was billowing from that stairwell, too, thick and dark though still not as bad as the other one. Either way it didn’t look good, but the little girl didn’t seem concerned – not even when we crawled out onto the landing, and the orange flicker of flames was visible several floors below.

“No,” I said. “It’ll be too hot.”

“Come on, mister,” she said again.

She began scrambling down the stairs, staying as low as possible. I could hardly leave her, so I followed.

The heat was unbearable, and by the time we were on the floor below, visibility was zero. The smoke was so thick and black that even the flicker of the flames had vanished; the only way I knew how close they were was from the heat and the deafening roar of it. Have you ever been near to a large bonfire? Have you heard how loudly it crackles? That’s nothing. Big fires, they roar. They sound closer to a freight train, a tornado. It’s a sound so loud that it sets off a primal kind of terror, even without the heat and the smoke to add to the danger. What I’m saying is that it’s something that’s very difficult to crawl towards, yet there we were.

I couldn’t see the little girl, but every time I began to panic she would reach back and touch me. The heat grew and I could smell my hair burning, my clothing threatening to catch. The floor was excruciating, and while I didn’t realise it at the time, I was in the process of receiving third degree burns on my hands and knees from the floor alone. I felt faint, the heat making my head pound. It seemed to drain my of my energy, and during those last seconds – as we passed directly past the floor where the inferno was at its worst – I was sure I was running only on pure animal instinct to get away.

Then we descended into the hallway below the fire, and it was all gone. The heat lingered, but it was nothing compared to what it was before. The smoke was hazy grey, high up by the ceiling. The little girl was tugging at me, and I realised I’d collapsed to the ground.

“Quickly, mister!” she said now. “Not far!”

In my pain and confusion, it didn’t occur to me that she wasn’t burned; that she had no difficulty breathing. She tugged hard at my clothing, and while I didn’t know that my clothing was alight at the time, later I remembered and wondered how she had done it. With her prompting and encouragement I made it down the last of the stairs and out into the hotel’s lobby, which was shockingly untouched. Alarms were blaring, but the room was free of smoke and many of the hotel’s employees remained there, grabbing people as they emerged, coughing, from stairwells and hurrying them outside. When I stumbled into the lobby I was immediately tackled by several employees who were, I was later told, beating the flames from me. I had stumbled into the lobby on fire.

I don’t remember anything else. I didn’t have time to mention the girl. I passed out, and was kept in a medically induced coma while my body recovered from serious burns. I very nearly didn’t make it, and when I awoke I had several months of painful operations and skin grafts to go. My hands were badly burned, though the doctors managed to save nearly all my fingers – I’m only missing the little fingers to the first knuckle, and while the scarring is bad I can use the hands well. My knees are badly scarred but functional. My back isn’t pretty to look at, but it doesn’t bother me now, not outside of itching in the heat. I forgot about the girl until just before I was released from hospital, five months later, but to my relief I was told that no children had died in the fire. Whoever she was, she had gotten out safe.

Almost a year later, my grandfather died. He was the son of my firefighter great-grandfather, and when my own father and I were around his house, sorting through his things, we came across some of my great-grandfather’s stuff. Medals, a few old photographs of the family, some letters. My father and I went through the pictures, my father pointing out relatives and telling a few stories here and there. What you would expect from such an occasion, really – but then I found an old picture of a little girl.

I recognised her immediately as the little girl I had seen in the hotel – there was no denying it. The picture was an unpleasant one, taken post-mortem, and while half of her body was badly charred the other half looked as though she could be sleeping. Her hair was the same, the bow singed but present. The dress was the same. I could even still hear how she sounded. Come on, mister! I was so shocked I didn’t say anything. My father looked at it for a long moment, and then he gave a sad sigh.

“I wish he had found out who she was,” he said. “That haunted him. He felt like he failed her.” He took the photo from me and looked a little more closely at it. “Nonsense, of course. He did everything for that little girl. I’m sure she would thank him if she could.”

She did, I thought. She did.

[smokieblr]

Richard Kruspe: Berlin is a very destructive city

Richard Kruspe is the guitarist of Rammstein and frontman of the band Emigrate. In the interview he tells why he lives in Berlin but never got really warm with the metropolis.

December 14, 2018

Mr. Kruspe, are not you busy with Rammstein, or what are you doing with your second band Emigrate?

"The idea of Emigrate is that I do what I can not do in the closed cosmos of Rammstein."

And that would be exactly?

"To open up musically and to work with as many people as possible. I enjoy to illuminate all facets stylistically. I do not want to restrict myself to this project and do not let myself be pushed into any drawer.”

Rammstein means pressure. Does Emigrate mean to relax?

"Emigrate means fun for me in the first place. The band is antagonist, equilibrium and the balance in my life. For me Emigrate is a matter of the heart and not an economic topic."

Rammstein celebrates its 25th anniversary in 2019. A reason to celebrate?

"Rammstein is always a reason to celebrate, but I have no feeling for such anniversaries. I never think about birthdays either."

Because then you realize how old you already are? 

Yes. I'm 51 now. I used to think it's over at 50. Since then, the expiration date of rock'n'rollers has moved extremely backwards. Unfortunately, it's just that rock music is dead. The rebellion is no longer in guitar music today, but in the language.  In this respect, it is good that a few older people keep up the rock music".

You used to be a wrestler and you looked very fit. Do you feel the age?

"Who does not feel that? I do sports five times a week, one hour each, only on weekends. The full program: running, swimming, cycling, gymnastics. On tour also yoga. I need a long morning to wake up.  The sport helps me with that."

Do you live well in general?

"I am an addict. I have managed that alcohol never becomes an issue for me, also because I do not like it and when I drink some, I always start embracing people, which I later feel embarrassed about.  In the diet I try to pay attention to certain things, for example to eat little sugar.  But I'm also someone who likes to relax and try things out."

Till Lindemann sings the song "Let's Go" with you on your album "A Million Degrees". Interesting to hear him in a different context than Rammstein.

"The song is already very old, originally Till and I had written it for the first Emigrate album over ten years ago. It is about our friendship, about the feeling we had at the time of the reunification and before that. "Let's Go" is a chapter of our story."

You have next to your seven-year-old daughter Maxime, two grown children. How are you as a father?

"To be a father again in my mid-40s is quite different from when I was 23, which was relatively early.  You always make mistakes, but today I have a much greater peace and enjoy the time I spend with my daughter."

Are you still together with Maxime's mother Margaux Bossieux, who also sings on "A Million Degrees"?

No. I am not the classic family man. I have three children of three women. I think I'm too polygamous for a long relationship.  Incidentally, my adult daughter also lives here in the house.

You bought this apartment building in Prenzlauer Berg years ago, after you came back from New York, and you not only put a penthouse dream apartment on top of it, but also created your studio here. Did you settle down in Berlin right now?

"I always had a difficult relationship with Berlin, and I still have. I always found the city very elitist and cool.  It was hard for me to get along here. Now it opens a bit, and I would not know where else I could live in Germany.  But it was not love at first sight"

What bothers you about the city?

"Berlin is a very destructive city. Drugs have always been a big topic here. This desire to destroy has, as I said, an attraction, but you have to be a little careful."

Is New York so different?

"New York has a clearer, more brutal energy that has always fascinated me. The city is "in your face".  I came back to Berlin when my daughter was born, and the stereotype is right: if there's a place in the city where children can grow up well, then it's Prenzlauer Berg.  I have never seen as many playgrounds as here in PB."

(About the person)

Richard Kruspe, 51, is the guitarist of Rammstein and frontman of Emigrate. He grew up in Brandenburg and moved shortly before the turn to East Berlin. He also returned there after working in West Berlin and New York.  Kruspe has three children, the first comes from a relationship with the ex-wife of Till Lindemann.

[harry-sussex]

I hope it's not yet too late to add my thoughts to the Harry memoir thing! First of all, I sincerely hope that Harry is smart enough to think twice, thrice, or even a thousand times about what he'll put out in his memoir. Unlike Finding Freedom which they were able to deny accountability, although seemingly unbelievable to some given their "relationship" with Omid, all statements, claims, and accusations in the memoir are his to bear and all consequences are his to suffer. He can't pass it off to someone else. The Queen is 95. Sooner but preferably later, Charles will take over and then William. I'm not saying he's not entitled to his own feelings and I acknowledge that the BRF will always be his blood family but family members have been exiled and cut off completely for lesser reasons. I think him going back to the UK and being allowed to stay in Frogmore, for instance, are all thanks to the Queen. I can't imagine what or how his trips to the UK will be like if he has been cut off completely by his family and no longer has the royal machinery to back him up (i.e., being able to stay in Frogmore, the security, chauffeurs, being able to claim they're still on speaking terms). Try as he might to say that he hated his old life, I think it would hurt him if he only gets to go back to the only home he's ever known for funerals. I think it would also hurt as hell if he and his family will be denied invitations to the Jubilee or future coronations, for instance - events that he and his family should have been at the forefront had this been handled properly. Not to mention the negative impact this will have on his "brand". I don't think the remaining royals would do a sit down interview directly addressing Harry but I also don't think we can put it past them to hit back in different ways especially when provoked.

Second, the "scorned royal" narrative could only go so far especially with the Cambridge children growing up. This is also one of my beefs with how this played out. Harry acknowledged that his niece and nephews would soon outshine him and he has a little window to do something worthwhile... and yet he chose to immerse himself fully in the "drama" as opposed to highlighting the causes close to his heart. This "drama" is supposedly aimed to clear the air and misconception surrounding them but it only resulted in them being bashed even more and made fun of.

I saw a post saying he's turning into the male version of Tessy Antony (and I hate that I can see why) and since January 2020, I think I've been the human version of that angry woman saying "I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you" at Harry LOL. He used to be such a great guy (who I was really proud to say I admired) and I think underneath all these pent-up anger, he still is. I sincerely hope he doesn't end up being a middle aged man who's fallen from grace and would have to resort to embarrassing things to earn money and court publicity. Diana's second baby who grew up to have a big heart and an even bigger personality despite the Diana tragedy deserves so much more than that.

It's never too late to share your perspective around here! I have a stupid amount of messages from ages ago from people sharing their perspectives - I'll get to them, promise! It just might take me a while lol. But I've been trying to get through all of the memoir-related asks because a lot of people have a lot to say, myself included.

I think a lot of favor he still has with the family lies with the Queen, sure. However, I really don't see Charles and William cutting him out of the institution for good, no matter what he does. He'll go to the coronation, maybe even William's investiture as Prince of Wales. He'll go to HM's funeral (where I have no doubt he'll be granted special permission to wear a uniform, because there's no way they'll do the suit thing from Philip's funeral at the monarch's funeral), his father's funeral when the time comes (same with the uniform), and William's coronation, and maybe George's investiture too. Hell, he might even pull a Princess Madeleine and come by for events like Trooping the Colour (like she does for National Day/Victoriadagen sometimes) every once in a while. He'll stay at Frogmore and get invited to tea and be entitled to the same royal machinery. Side note - I really don't think we'll ever see Meghan (and, likely, the kids) on British soil ever again. Maybe, maybe the coronation(s). Not entirely sure about the funerals, I'm not going to lie. Just my opinion - I might be completely wrong.

I just don't see them waking up one morning and stooping to Harry's current level. They're an institution too, and realistically, he's no threat to it. Sure, they theoretically may never speak again, they may cut each other off for good personally, but the institution is the institution and I just don't see them doing anything.

I agree with the second point, though I hadn't considered it. His time in the peak of the spotlight to do as much good as possible is certainly limited, as he fades further and further away from the institution, and as George, Charlotte, and Louis grow up. He has a different grasp on the public than Charles' siblings, for example, because he's Diana's baby, and so he will remain relevant in some capacity for the rest of his life even as the kids start turning into full-grown royals. Either way, it will diminish to an extent, and I wish he'd focus that time on doing the good he's always said he wanted to do, to maximize his impact while he has the greatest reach. The drama only makes money for the media. His charities, instead, could benefit greatly from the resources (time, energy, effort, manpower) that he is wasting on this damn memoir. In the process, he makes money for charities and loses money for the media. A win-win, right? Why does nobody see that?

That was @claireofluxembourg 's anon and it's funny to an extent, but it's also really quite sad. I don't think he's there yet but it could very easily go in that direction and if that happens, idk what I'll do with myself because you know I'll still be here going on about "he can change!" That bitterness is unflattering on anyone.

Finally, I agree with all of your last point. He's a wonderful, beautiful man with so much spark and charm and he's so capable of everything he could ever want to do and more. I do not want to see him fall any further from grace than he already has. He's Diana's baby, sure, but he's a beautiful person in his own right with a big heart and an enormous desire and potential to be everything and more and I just hate that this is what it's come to. I hope it levels out because he deserves so much better, he is so much better, and I refuse to believe that version of him is gone.

[hamliet]

Reflections of Su XiYan in Scum Villain’s Female Characters

I did not realize it was MXTX ladies week until yesterday. :( So I want to do a post/meta on the amazing women in each novel (not without critique), so let’s start with MXTX’s first one!

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System, which while it may have more obvious narrative flaws than TGCF or MDZS (it sets up some plot points it kinda drops later, whereas TGCF and MDZS pretty much maximize every single aspect of potential), I actually think is just as rich, clever, and coherent thematically as MXTX’s latter two novels.

The plot points that are dropped, though, are actually almost entirely related to the set up the female characters as deconstructing the idea that they were just things for Original!Luo BingHe to collect. While it does do this to an extent with Su XiYan, Ning YingYing, and Sha HuaLing, it kinda… dropped the arcs halfway through for Ning YingYing and Sha HuaLing, and sets up but never really begins Liu MingYan’s and Qin WanYue’s. 

Su XiYan’s arc, though, despite it taking place in the past and being told to us, is entirely about refuting the role the men in her life ascribe to her... and all of the other female characters--all members of Original!Luo BingHe’s harem--represent a part of her. You could get, like, really Oedipal if you wanted to, but I’d rather not beyond simply saying it’s a pattern in stories that is definitely present here. Aspects of her story and character are reflected in each of the women who are love interests in Proud Immortal Demon Way. 

Our first refutation of how men treat and categorize Su XiYan is through her foiling with Ning YingYing. 

Shen Yuan notes that Shen Jiu sexually harassed Ning YingYing:

the original Shen Qingqiu had designs on Ning Yingying... [he] had dirty thoughts towards his lively and well-behaved disciples. Several times he tried to lay hands on them and almost succeeded at that.

Which is what the Old Palace Master did to Su XiYan:

He turned to focus his stare on Luo Binghe’s quietly sleeping face... nThe Old Palace Master gazed at him for a long while then sighed: “When you close your eyes, you resemble her the most. And also when you’re being cold.”

His eyes traveled over Luo Binghe’s face greedily. If he still had hands, he would have reached out to fondle as well.

However, the Old Palace Master never got anywhere with Su XiYan, because she fell in love with someone else and thereby refutes the idea that she’s his tool. In the original, Ning YingYing is rescued by Luo BingHe in the original. In the novel, Ning YingYing’s arc is about her discovering self-sufficiency. She doesn’t need rescuing from Luo BingHe; she can rescue herself, as is shown when she leads Ming Fan and the other disciples into a fight to protect Shen QingQiu’s honor after his arrest. When someone slaps her, she slaps back, twice--but Shen QingQiu gives her the energy. I would have liked (and think her arc was heading towards) her to grow to be competent on her own as well. 

Next, Sha HuaLing.  

Sha HuaLing represents TianLang-Jun’s assumptions about Su XiYan: that she was a deceptive seductress who would betray him for her own desires. However, in reality, like Sha HuaLing does in Proud Immortal Demon Way, Su XiYan betrays her race (for her, humanity, for Sha HuaLing, demons) for love. 

Sha Hualing was a pure-blooded demon, cruel and ruthless, cunning and artful, but fell irrevocably for Luo Binghe. After getting together with Luo Binghe, don’t even speak about killing for him; she even dared to do an outrageous thing like betraying the demons for him. 

Su XiYan, however, was never given the chance to fight back. In the actual novel, Sha HuaLing does much the same (betrays the demons), but Luo BingHe does not love her and she knows it. I think this is a good ending place for Sha HuaLing, assigned to fight against her father in the final battle (which she does), but we’re told rather than shown her development and we’re not told what led to this decision, which is a shame. 

Sha HuaLing is perhaps most directly foiled both in Proud Immortal Demon Way and in SVSSS by Qin WanYue. 

Qin WanYue, much like Su XiYan, is considered the perfect disciple of the Huan Hua Palace. Regarding Su XiYan, it’s noted: 

“That woman had shocking talent, was intelligent and sensitive when making decisions, and she had the aura of a tyrant. The Old Palace Master loved and cared for this private disciple. He thought of her as a pearl that should be protected in his hands and trained her to be the next Palace Master of Huan Hua Palace. No matter where he went, he would bring Su Xiyan along with him. The importance that he placed in her was abnormal.”

Qin WanYue’s symbol is a pearl that lights the way.

Luo Binghe picked up Qin Wanyue’s Night Pearl that had fallen to the ground and raised it high, as though it were a beacon. It awakened those who had frozen in place.

Not to mention in the original novel Qin WanYue loses a child in a miscarriage caused by someone else (Sha HuaLing) much like Su XiYan almost lost Luo BingHe when pregnant with him. Qin WanYue clings to Luo BingHe after the loss of her sister as something who might be able to offer her happiness. She’s not much different than Luo BingHe growing up parents and clinging to ShiZun: she who lost her sister and then clings to the person who saved her. But in her case, Luo BingHe does not return her affection, and I really had hoped/ expected her arc to end with her finding her own path.

Qin WanYue is also tasked with an action beneath her (much like Sha HuaLing): taking care of the Little Palace Mistress, the Old Palace Master’s literal daughter and hence another foil to Su XiYan. Her defining trait is her pettiness and cruelty, the latter of which Su XiYan is also said to have been capable of, as she began spending time with TianLang-Jun in an attempt to bring him down.

However, the mistress isn’t really set up with the potential for an arc like Qin WanYue is. 

From time to time [Qin WanYue] would cast a teary glance at Luo Binghe, as if expecting something...

[Sha HuaLing:] “how many times have you failed to seduce the lord yet still refuse to leave? If you don’t leave that’s fine, but you’re incapable of looking after even a single person. Her cultivation isn’t even as high as yours. You’re her senior martial sister. You didn’t stop her early and didn’t stop her late. All you did was to let her make this unreasonable scene in front of the lord. Who are you putting on this pitiful and wronged appearance for?”

Qin WanYue isn’t weak at all, but she puts on a weak act for Luo BingHe, hoping to attract a rescuer like she needed back then. I initially expected her arc to end with her accepting her strength and moving on form Luo BingHe (and from the little palace mistress). I still think it should have. 

And then we have Qiu HaiTang, whom I don’t think is set up as much for development as the others despite having more backstory on her. 

Still, Qiu HaiTang she was a woman mistreated and shamed by what had happened with her fiance Shen Jiu--just like Su XiYan was shamed for what happened with TianLang-Jun. 

“That’s right, if she hadn’t been so ill-fated as to fall for Tianlang-Jun’s wiles, she would have had such a bright and promising future and be a person of great renown today.”

“I don’t care what fantastic rewards are promised to me━having an affair with a demon and getting knocked up with a monster child is just plain disgusting. This kind of merit, I wouldn’t accept even if it was served to me on a silver platter.”

“Su Xiyan was probably too ashamed to remain, and thus ran away from the sect master.”

The thing is, all these roles--perfect disciple with great potential, brave enough to betray everything for love, endearing and caring, mistreated--none of these really capture the complexity and beauty of who Su XiYan really was... which is represented in Liu MingYan, the noted female counterpart to Luo BingHe, the main female lead. Liu MingYan conceals her face, which is too beautiful to be seen. 

Liu MingYan, like Si XiYan, remains mysterious; Shen QingQiu never sees her face uncovered, and the audience never really gets a clue as to what is going on in her head besides the mention that she cares deeply for her brother. Again, this is something I think could have and should have been developed more; she has the set-up for an arc with her conflict with Sha HuaLing being dazzled by her beauty and with her loyalty to her sect and brother, but it doesn’t go anywhere. She said to be “the number one female lead!” after all, and I think it’s entirely possible for her to maintain her aura of mystery and still... have an arc. Su XiYan did, after all, and she was dead before the novel began.

In the end, no one really can define whom Su XiYan was exactly, because she’s dead. What ultimately mattered, what defined Su XiYan’s legacy, was her final choice to save her son (and yes, it’s fair to critique that it’s again about a man, but it’s her choice). That’s why the story, in its penultimate chapter, has Shen QingQiu telling Luo BingHe: 

“Su Xiyan risked her life to give birth to you... 

“If I were in her shoes, I would not hesitate to drink [the poison for a fetus] regardless of how lethal it is. Then, after escaping from the water prison, I would absorb it all into my own body. Regardless of how agonizing and horrifying the process is, regardless of the price to be paid, regardless of whether it would be a painful death, I would never let this child suffer any harm.

“This is how I see it. You can take it as just an interpretation because there is no one who can tell you what Su Xiyan was thinking before she breathed her last. But if she really saw you as a disgrace, she didn’t need to do anything more. She could have just lowered you into the Luo River, on the coldest days of the year, in a harsh and frozen landscape━how could you possibly survive?... she also need not use the last of her strength and energy to put you in a wooden basin and push you away to safety…… You don’t even need to wait for someone to save you at all since you would have already become a wandering soul who met his freezing end in Luo River.

He’s healed, and he no longer needs to try to recreate his mother figure in over a thousand beautiful women like he did in the past. He can heal. 

Imo, it would have been even more powerful if the women then stepped out of these roles more completely, and became their own people. But I really do like all four of the main women I discussed here, and someday I’ll write more for them. 

[docfuture]

Princess, part 14

        [This story is a prequel, set in an alternate 2012, several years before The Fall of Doc Future, when Flicker is 16.  Links to some of my other work are here.  Updates are theoretically biweekly, but it’s 2020 8-)  Next chapter is partly done so I’m going to try for before the end of the year.]

Previous: Part 13

      Memories.       Flicker was sensitive to anything that might disrupt them.  With her speed, subjective versus objective time was hopeless from the start.  Even 'When was that again?' and getting things in the right order was difficult.  She needed to forget the vast majority of things that happened when she sped up.  There just wasn't space in her squishy biological brain for what she could accumulate at a million times the speed of normal human subjective consciousness.  She had always felt close to the edge of what was possible to remember.       At least for as long as she could remember--and she didn't remember anything episodic before she was nine.       How did normal humans remember, really?  It was frustrating to ask them.  They didn't know, they just did.  And the scientific literature was frustratingly poor at providing the answers she most wanted, because they were hard to quantify and measure.  Doc said recalling social interactions from episodic memory was partially a learned skill--itself stored in implicit memory.  Which Flicker was a lot better at, but didn't really understand either.       Today she remembered bits and pieces while she prepared for work.       She remembered talking to Sealord about trying to act human when you weren't.       Sealord was a... Well, you couldn't really call him superhuman anything, because he wasn't human.  He wasn't alien, either; he'd lived on Earth longer than most humans.  He was a supercephalopod giant squid, who'd had the kind of origin event that might turn a human into a superhuman if they were very lucky--and kill them if they weren't.       He was good at shapeshifting, but going from a deep sea invertebrate to a land biped was a big ask before you even got to the human part.  He looked like a handsome, Polynesian-appearing man in his social landform.  But when he started to talk, he seemed to move into the uncanny valley for many people.       Not Flicker.  She didn't expect human.  She expected 'communicate well enough to be understood', and he did.  He wasn't trying to 'pass' as human--he was a powerful being assuming a form compatible with air-based speech and human infrastructure.       She actually thought his old utility surface form suited him better.  He was more comfortable with it, and that showed.  At least to her.  It looked like a human body with a squid for a head.  It let him use tentacle waving and pigmentation changes for non-verbal communication--which he was very good at--and tentacle type at a keyboard, which was easier for him than using hands, even when he had them.  But its appearance triggered fear even worse than his social form.  Which made it counterproductive for diplomacy.       "No," he had said.  "I am not better.  At acting human.  Than you."       His speech was slow when he wasn't in a hurry, and his verbal cadence was unusual.  Using lungs and vocal cords and a human-style mouth together in the right way had taken him a long time to master.  Flicker didn't get impatient.  Getting the timing of speech right was tricky.  She did remember learning that, and the frustration.       "I am better at shapeshifting," he said.  "Squid are better at body mimicry.  Than humans.  I started with an advantage.  I am worse at other things.  You are better at human things.  As a human."       "But I'm not better," said Flicker.  "Not at the hard things."       A shake of the head.  "Yes.  Difficult things.  Humans learn as children.  And don't think them hard.  They start with an advantage."       "What hard human things do you think I'm good at?"       "Running."  Sealord smiled.  "Throwing rocks."       Flicker thought about that for a long time.

      She remembered Jetgirl's laugh.  They'd been having another round in their half-joking, half serious argument about whether Flicker could fly.       "He's right," said Jetgirl.  She grinned.  "You are way better at moving fast than I am at flying."       "But flying is hard."       "Lots of things are.  And humans have no natural ability at it.  But birds and insects do, so people can see what good flying looks like.  You've watched a hummingbird hover.  Impressive, right?"       "Yeah.  But scale matters--a Canada goose taking off is pretty cool, too.  I've watched that more times, because it looks so clunky.  But it works."       The laugh.  "Take-offs and landings are usually the hardest.  Anyway, most humans can run--or at least they could when they were kids--so they don't think running is as impressive.  And if you're moving slow enough to see, you're usually doing your glide thing, which doesn't look hard.  No one sees you move your legs much, just an occasional flash and boom."       "That glide is a convenience and safety habit.  It's quiet, and I don't have to worry about damage if I speed up suddenly."       Another grin.  "Yeah, you've already taken off, so the hard part is over."       "It's only a few centimeters up--I don't fly," said Flicker.  "I just run on air so the ground doesn't get wrecked."         "That's flying like a maglev.  You go higher as you speed up.  Lots of pilots who fly nap-of-the-earth study your patterns of flashes and booms, for educational purposes."       "That's because I have to be real careful to not run into things.  Or even get too close when I'm trailing shockwaves and plasma."       "Not running into things is pretty important for them, too."       "I'm still not flying.  Sealord's point was that humans are already adapted for bipedal locomotion, and I started with that advantage.  You don't fly with your legs and feet."       "I don't.  And that being careful is part of 'way better'."       "A point.  But my speed means I can make time to be careful."       "That's what I meant.  You build on your speed with skill and practice."       Flicker remembered.  It was time to use what she was good at to help people again.             Yesterday had been a test run, logging bio-telemetry and mind coordination to the Database.  Today was Flicker's first try at going 'on duty' since recovering from Speedtest.         She followed Stella's guidelines.  It was easiest to forestall self-deception at a beginning.  Flicker had fallen into a form of metric myopia in the months before Hermes' attack.  A variation of what Doc called 'the tyranny of the easy to measure.'  She had sought to maximize a number, a measure of lives saved.  Because it was clear, when her judgement was hazy and her connection to humanity felt distant.  But it wasn't 'lives saved'.  It was, at best, clearly attributable potential lives saved in the immediate aftermath of action, as estimated by the Database.  And it undervalued anything hard to quantify.       She'd abdicated her judgement.  The numbers had become the purpose.       There probably wouldn't be any 'lives saved' today.  But that wasn't the point.  She'd had the Database sift through lower priority, less well-characterized problems, to see what she'd been missing.       The mudslide on the slope in Borneo might have come today, or tomorrow, or next week.  It was coming, there was too much rain for it not to.  It might have reached the village, or not.  The villagers might have evacuated in time, or not.  But now they wouldn't have to.  Flicker moved it sideways instead of down, to an area without people.  Some heard thunder, or saw a spray of earth and vegetation arcing high--but not towards them.       Twenty minutes of earth moving, a shower back home, and back to reassessment.  It was a start.  And it didn't require her to talk to anyone or contribute to burnout, so she could keep going for a while longer.       Flicker cleared rockslide blockages in the Andes mountains, present and threatened, for another ten minutes.  Then dealt with a few other hazards in remote areas in South America.  Which wasn't well covered by superhero response.  The initial data quality was usually very low.  But so what?  She could always run and look.       And then the first hints of something odd had shown up on satellite scans, the Database had noticed, and Flicker ran and looked--and found giant ants emerging from a fringe of Amazon rainforest.       Giant bugs kept recurring.  Interdimensional 'outsider' intrusions were far more common than most people realized, but the vast majority of them were unable to overcome the more than three-billion-year adaptive advantage of Earth life and promptly got eaten.  If this happened on land, the growth impetus that made many invaders a potential threat was usually absorbed by microorganisms, fungi, and plants.  And bugs, who were typically the first link of the food chain that was really good at moving.       So they could eat, and grow, and move, and eat more, until--if the initial intrusion was large enough--someone finally noticed.  Or they succumbed on their own.  The effects of the square-cube law could be ameliorated with alien energy, but past a certain size, that was hard to sustain.       Ants were good at foraging, calling friends, sharing food, and spreading out with new size and vigor.  A lot at once was only to be expected.       A few locals had spotted them, noped out, and concentrated on getting themselves and their animals to safety.  The ants were about the size of cars, and no longer very fast--they were too big for their body proportions to be efficient at moving anymore.  A few had paused to chew on crops, but most of them were looking for something tastier.  Or at least meatier.  They needed to be stopped.       The familiarity was almost a relief--but it did come with a warning.  Best find the start, to be sure the threat was just ants.       Into the jungle, down a narrowing swath of disruption that eventually ended in a pool of churned mud.  It was still being picked over by scavengers, but no longer seething with extradimensional anything.  Perhaps a day or two old?  But there were no other large outbreaks of gigantism.  The local fauna were already taking care of stragglers who had grown too large for their niches.  Flicker passed a jaguar eating the remains of an oversized but still clearly manageable frog.  And she could see the signs of progressive dilution; the jaguar might get a slight boost, but not enough to be a problem before it faded.       Back to the ants.  And a local soil and drainage map from the Database.       The remains of the ants would be soon be good fertilizer.  And safe, as long as the concentration in any one spot didn't get too high.  But they were too big to move by hand without breaking.  So it was time for entrainment--pulling ants with the wind of her passage.  Up and down, back and forth--running slowly for her, but not trying to limit drag.  Air moved in response, and oversized insects tumbled in her wake.  She scattered them widely.       And then...  "Don't punch anything living" was the rule, but there was an exception.  Antenna quivered above her as she stopped between the open mandibles of the first ant.       Sorry, foragers.  You were never going to make it back to a colony anyways.       Her palm strike sent a shockwave through the ant, and a spray of ex-ant outward.  A widely distributed mess over the surrounding landscape was actually desirable here.  Still, she pulled her punches; she didn't want fireballs.  Hand chops and more blasts of scooped air, together with the liquefying effect of Flicker's inertial damping field, helped her manage the spread.       A few distant figures watched giant ants being turned into goo over their fields and pastures.  Which should be bad tasting enough to avoid problems with livestock until it decayed, but a concentration map would go into the Database notice sent out to the locals--they would know their own fields and animals best.  The Database would keep monitoring for problems until any danger was past.       Ants finished, she slowed down a little away from the nearest group.  She knew hardly any Portuguese, so she used her visor to check her translation.  Her accent was awful, so she settled for saying "They're gone," and a wave of a still-goopy hand.  She acknowledged the Database advisory that she was now over her duty time limit for the first day and headed home.       Her shower matched the one at Doc's HQ, with a customized array of converted waterjet cutters and a selection of decontamination options.  It quickly stripped away the remaining layer of plasma-deposited bug juice.  She then switched it to regular shower mode to help her mind return the rest of the way from 'on duty'.  That took a while.  Habits were stubborn things.       Dried and dressed, she logged her impressions, and looked at her bio-telemetry and reaction analysis with the Database for a bit before formally ending her abbreviated 'workday'.  Not everything had gone smoothly, but it had become a better day--and it was still morning.  It was something.  It was enough, for now.       *****       Stella had a wry smile, a faint twist of the mouth that found humor in a less-than-ideal world.  "I'm not well-qualified to advise you about memory," she said, "because no one is.  I'm doing it because your Database integrity AI doesn't think there's anyone better.  And neither does Doc."       "You have been helping me with my emotional reactions," said Flicker.       "I've avoided triggering any obvious disasters, and you've felt subjectively better.  Whether that is actually helping...  well, we may suddenly find out the answer is 'not enough'."       They were at Stella's office for another session.  It was, if not a comforting place, at least familiar.  It did not add to the inherent stress of a session, which was probably the best Flicker could expect.  Protocols had been set and were being followed, and snacks and beverages were at hand.  Elements of a basic social ritual, which did help, regardless of Stella's current pessimism.       "Well, I think we've been making progress," said Flicker.  "Is there some new reason for you to doubt that?"       "The restrictions on a considerable amount of Database material were lifted for me at the end of last week, in response to your request.  I've been thinking about the implications.  Your AI assistant, Vizier, can speak directly to me in ways the main Database AIs can't, because it doesn't have full access.  That allows it more latitude for speculation and personal advocacy."       Stella looked out through the force screen over the sliding doors to the patio.  "I cultivate an image of implacability because it is useful for my work.  But I'm not infallible."  Another wry smile.  "I have the scars to prove it."       "You're who I've got."       "Yes.  And I will recommend precautions, some of which you will likely find unpleasant, to attempt to limit the damage from mistakes and unforeseen events.  You don't have to follow them.  Many will probably turn out not to have been needed.  But it's part of my best work, and this is a useful time to remind you again.  Do you understand?"       "...yeah."       "An important distinction before we start.  You have an assortment of memory-connected issues.  I don't think precise mechanisms are as urgent as dealing with effects.  We don't want to ease one problem only to aggravate several others.  Your new concern--that your memories may not precisely correspond to past events in this world--does not matter for how I intend to begin today."       "Um.  I think what's actually true does matter a bit."       "Yes, it does."  Another smile.  "But we aren't sitting here together for exterior facts--you have the Database for those.  I'm here to hear and see you talk about what you remember, what has shaped you, what matters to you, how you feel and react, and how it affects you.  And listening to and watching me, my voice and body language and pacing, as I shape my advice for you--talking to another live, flesh and blood person--should help you.  Both in putting your old memories in context, and eventually with some of your other issues."       Stella glanced at her computer display before continuing.  "You intend to use memory compartmentalization before 'correcting' memories using the Database.  That's understandable, and also hazardous.  I believe some of your existing issues are already complicated by memory compartmentalization.  That doesn't mean it's bad.  Some is unavoidable, given your two-part mind, and it's necessary for managing PTSD.  But it has side effects.  I want a better baseline of where you are now before you start anything new.  Memories aren't static--they shift as you recall and relate them.  Do you understand the importance of treating Database records of personally relevant events as potentially fallible as well as incomplete?"       "Yes," said Flicker.  "I've been using the Database for memory backups, but there's no guarantee that anything before my return after Speedtest is still compatible with my speed mind."       "It's more general than that.  You have some reductive assumptions about memory that may be a problem.  May be.  My research has taught me to beware of most generalizations.  Now.  I want you to review certain of your memories for me, starting from the beginning.  That doesn't mean we're starting from scratch.  You've used the resources you had, and are by no means unskilled.  Just the fact that you are currently functional is a remarkable accomplishment.  But that means many of your current problems are subtle, tricky, or tough."       "Because I've already fixed the easy stuff," said Flicker.       A smile.  "At least what you thought was easy."       "...and thought was fixed.  I get it.  So what do you mean by the beginning?  My first memories?"       "Earlier than that.  Start with your arrival on Earth."       "All right, but I got a lot of this third or fourth hand.  I cannot currently access any coherent memories before I was nine."       "I know," said Stella, "But your childhood is important enough to you that even indirect information about it shaped who you are today."       "Okay."       Flicker took a deep breath before starting.  "I was dropped off at that first orphanage in early May of 1997 by some guy.  He was probably an extradimensional entity, and possibly the same guy who arranged payment, checked back on me a few times, and set up my later transfer, but there's no proof or direct evidence of that.  He said that I was born on the first day of spring in the previous year, which would have made me just over a year old.  That matched how I looked and was plausibly consistent with the fact that I could feed myself.  He didn't say where I was born, who the parents were, or provide any surviving documentation, and there are no remaining findable witnesses.       "My birth date was recorded as March 20, 1996--which would make me 16 now--but no paperwork was filed with the state.  The surviving workers at that orphanage remember me by the nickname "Chirpy," after the only vocalization anyone heard me make.  I wasn't yet consciously controlling my speed changes, which cut sounds short.  But they do remember me--as creepily silent most of the time.  I was believed to be haunted or psychic.  No one considered that I might have superspeed and very little awareness of my environment.  Database thinks one of the people who died might have thought I just had hearing trouble and tried to teach me to read.  I apparently picked up more later, because I knew how to read--and even write a little--when my memories start."       Flicker looked down.  "In 2002, that orphanage burned down, and all local records about me were lost.  The details of that fire are still the subject of legal disputes and there's been a long running battle between the surviving relatives of three workers who died in the fire and an insurance company.  The place was a firetrap, records were definitely altered, at least two people died suspiciously after the fire, and the relatives deserve to and probably eventually will win.  The cause of the fire might have been arson.  It also might have been me, based on some models I ran a couple of years ago.  It would be very easy for me to start fires by oblivious fast movement in a wooden structure filled with flammables.  But I have no memory of it.       "Anyway, I was transferred to another orphanage in a different state.  Where there was systematic fraud.  And they now had a live girl with no records--me--who was still being paid for off the books by someone, and a dead girl who they hadn't reported dead and didn't want to because they'd stop getting money.  So they altered records to make it look like I was her.  She was at least a year younger, but as long as no one challenged it or compared things, they were fine."       Flicker smiled briefly.  "Then someone tipped off Gumshoe about the fraud, and he started investigating.  He found the orphanage I was at, and ended up in a confrontation with the director. I apparently came to find out what the commotion was about, and the director did something really stupid.  It's not clear whether he tried to use me as a hostage or just a shield, but I didn't like it.  I killed him."       Flicker shook her head.  "I don't like talking about it because people ask how I felt.  I don't remember.  My emotions didn't reliably connect to memories for a while, and my very first clear memory is watching his head explode.  I don't know whether I entropy dumped to his head or just waved my hand or both, but I wanted him gone, so bam, dead.  I do remember Gumshoe just looking at me for a little bit, then doing something at his wrist, and a little while later I met the Volunteer.  And my life started getting better.  I began remembering things regularly, though it took a while to start putting them in order.  This was 2005."       Stella studied her for a moment.  "How much of your anger over the age issue originated with the identity fraud?"       "A lot.  There was so much I wanted to know, and the altered records kept obstructing everything.  And Gumshoe died before I could talk coherently, so I never got to ask him about a lot of things.  I obviously wasn't the girl I was listed as, but the state didn't have any other birth date for their records so they kept using hers.  That made me mad because here were official people--people who were supposed to help--insisting on using information they knew was wrong."       "That took forever to fix, partly because everyone who could testify that I couldn't possibly be as young as that was already involved in the lawsuits over the fire.  Or wasn't talking to anyone because of them.  And no one else cared."  Flicker paused, then corrected herself.  "Okay, no, that's not fair.  Doc did care, but he didn't want to make a fuss at the time because it could have complicated my adoption or my citizenship--not having a birth certificate or any human witnesses to your birth is a pain, legally."       "Indeed.  And not that uncommon a problem," said Stella.       "Anyway, finally I filed a lawsuit," said Flicker.  "And got it almost settled, I thought--and then that stupid insurance company intervened, because some arcane legal thing meant my settlement would make them more likely to lose the lawsuit against them over the fire.  I didn't handle it well.  But Francine--she was my lawyer too by then, not just Doc's--told me that if I gave her time, she would make the insurance company executives, their board of directors, and the stockholders of their parent company regret that intervention thoroughly.  And late last year, she finally won the last appeal of the primary suit.  I'm 16.  But some places don't accept that yet, so Francine's team is still busy."       "I see," said Stella.  "It's clear you're still very emotionally invested in the details.  Is that something you're willing to elaborate on?"       Flicker took a long breath.  "I try to compartmentalize it so I don't keep getting angry again.  But yeah.  I hope you're ready for some ranting."       Stella smiled.  "That's fine."       "Okay.  The fraud at the second orphanage was already a mess, intertwined with several other messes, but sorting it out in one place wasn't enough.  Oh, no..."       Time passed.  At some point Flicker got up and started pacing.       "...and so I was like 'Okay, bonehead, maybe they won't charge you with accessory after the fact to fraud, but I'm also sole director of a corporation to which I've leased the rights to my personal image, and the value of that in interstate commerce is affected by my legal age in your state.  I have money, good lawyers, standing, and a grudge over something you could have avoided for free just by not being a jerk about it'.  But I have to do that in every state that decides to make an issue out of refusing to change my age in their records without a conventional birth certificate.  And a lot of them are fighting it.  So it's still not over.  But at least now I'm legally sixteen for federal and international purposes, in my home state, and in Pennsylvania, where Journeyman lives.  But I've been trying to get this crap fixed since I was twelve, and I'm so sick of it."       "Understandable," said Stella.  "And it's time we take a break, I think."       *****       Stella was getting better at timing the session breaks so Flicker was able to keep a comfortable safety margin.  There was probably something about not having speed that made the psychology of pacing easier to judge.  There were so many indirect effects.       "How did your morning patrol go?" asked Stella, after they started lunch.  "The Database informed me that your stress levels stayed encouragingly low.  But giant ants were mentioned."       "Yeah, they're fertilizer in rural Brazil now.  No one was hurt.  And the rest was just clearance work--the kind of thing the Volunteer is better at, but I can manage.  Didn't feel like much, but it was better than nothing."  Flicker had another spoonful of the soup.  "This is really good soup.  What is it?"       "It's egg drop soup from a local place," said Stella.  "Comfort food.  I like it when I'm recovering from something stressful or debilitating."       "Heh."  Flicker shook her head.  "You keep helping in different ways than I expect you to help."       "Expectations have always been a bit of a mixed bag for me.  On that note, you had a question about my background that you've been very patient about."       "Well, yeah.  It seems kind of silly now, but the Database verified you received your doctorate when you were 17," said Flicker, "but said the university was prevented by a non-disclosure agreement from revealing anything but the title of your thesis.  Which I thought was weird."       "They tried to revoke my doctorate.  After some discussion, they settled," said Stella.  "But the administration never actually had a copy.  The NDA was part of the settlement.  Not coincidentally, they also settled a suit from a group of students and former students at the same time.  People used to wonder why I chose that university and thesis committee.  But what happened to them was part of the point."       "What was 'Alternate Means of Addressing Harmful Behavior Patterns in Entrenched Power Structures' about, anyway?"       "The title gets the point across.  The specific methods were of limited generality and don't scale well.  It was a proof of concept, but there would be issues with it becoming widely accessible."       "I'm still curious."       "I know.  But the NDA was useful to me and still helps protect the former students.  The Database and I both respect it.  If there were a particular threat to one of them that you needed to deal with, then the Database would reveal appropriate information.  There currently isn't."       "I guess... that's good.  Was that your goal?"       "One of them.  The other two were to get a doctorate quickly, and establish a reputation.  Anyone investigating my qualifications in more detail would have no trouble establishing that whatever my methods actually were, they worked:  Nothing else bad happened to the students.  And nothing good to the thesis committee or the administration."       "Oh."       *****       Another hour of indirect memory tests, mostly boring.  But Stella said boring was good; anything exciting here would mean an unexpected problem, and they had plenty of expected ones already.  The one interesting part was a reframing of something Flicker had known for a long time.       "No," said Stella, studying her display.  "I don't think you react any more emotionally to speaking or listening than you do to reading.  Not more than a typical human."       "What do you mean?" said Flicker.  "I've thoroughly documented it."       A smile from Stella.  "You weren't measuring what you thought you were measuring.  You have to restrict your subjective speed to talk and listen, which requires effort by your speed mind.  And you use the ability to freely speed up and consult the Database for several quite effective calming strategies that are less disruptive to reading than listening.  So your coping works better.  After you account for that, the base emotional effect is the same."       Flicker studied the graphs and supporting information the Database provided.  The conclusions were consistent.       "Huh.  I remember interactive things way more emotionally, though."       "You appear to anchor social memories to emotional impact, consolidating out your calming measures, while your reading memories get subsumed in your reaction to what you learned.  So, among other things, your estimates of emotional leakage from compartmentalized memories will be poorly calibrated."       "Oof.  Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to watch out for that."       *****       "We're stopping already?" said Flicker.  "I could keep going--we're making progress, Database says I'm Green, and I still feel fine."       That wry smile.  "Yes, and I'd prefer you stay that way.  You'll have homework.  I want you to summarize your emotional impressions from your pre-sleep memory assimilation, so we can compare with your memories later."       "Huh.  Do you think there will be discrepancies?"       "I don't know.  But if there are, we want to know about them; that's why I'm asking.  We cannot take for granted that anything about your sleep, learning, or memory processing is the same as a typical human."       "Yeah, okay.  Do you want me to record anything else?"       "Not tonight.  I don't want to overload you by trying too many things at once."       Flicker looked down.  "Well, here's an emotional impression already.  That's the opposite of my preferred approach.  I don't like leaving known problems.  I'd much rather solve everything, then recover.  I already know that makes it easier for me to sleep."       "Yes, and you've done a very good job of solving a wide variety of problems where that attitude is helpful.  It's very effective.  Speed is your hammer."       "But not all my problems are nails."       "Exactly."       Flicker sighed.  "Well, okay, then.  I guess this is why I needed you.  You're good at helping."       A raised eyebrow.  "I'm not, particularly.  What I am good at is convincing people to listen who otherwise wouldn't."       "...and that's a problem I have that definitely isn't a nail."       Another smile.       "Okay.  Talk to you later.  And Stella?  Thank you."       "You're welcome."

Next:

[gayoperatorgunclub]

For the OTP ask thing 26, 34, 39, 47 and 81. For your fav ship, it's up to you which one you choose!

ohohoho! i’m actually gonna pick more than one, so here’s doc/lion, doc/monty, twitch/cav, blitz/rook, and blitz/monty! 

Doc/Lion- 

26 (How good would your OTP be at parenting?) - i think they’d be pretty good at it, seeing as olivier actually has a son, and gustave gives off Dad Energy 

34 (Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?) - olivier definitely makes fun of gustave for little things like handholding or wanting to cuddle, saying stuff like “oooh you like me” and gustave just stares at him and is like. we are married. 

39 (Who sleeps in the other’s lap?) - GUSTAVE!!!!!!!!! he is a cuddly man and is Certified To Be Huggable. he’s shaped like a friend. love is stored in the combat medic. olivier will get an email from him thats just like: come to the medbay i need your help with something. and so he goes and gustave just motions for him to come in, gets out of his chair, grabs olivier’s wrist and tugs him closer, pushes him into the office chair, and climbs up onto his lap, his back to olivier’s chest, and grabs olivier’s arms and wraps them around his torso, and goes back to work for a few minutes, but he ends up falling asleep once olivier starts rubbing his tummy or sumn. whatever it’s very cute 

47 (Who proposes?) - i’ll probably use this setup for a lot of different ships, but there’s a post that talks about how a girl proposed to her girlfriend 3 times, 2 without a ring (1 because she panicked, another because she thought her gf was gonna propose and wanted to beat her to it) and lemme just say that olivier proposed to gustave at least 10 times, from handing him a ring pop while drunk and carrying him home to plan the wedding, to talking with lera about their upcoming date and she mentions how it’d be the perfect opportunity for someone to propose and so olivier panics and rushes to the medbay and is just like “gustave i love you so much you’re the man i want to spend the rest of my life with will you marry me” and gustave, who has had a stressful day, walks over to him, wraps his arms around him and presses his face into his chest, and starts crying. worry not though, when olivier finally actually proposes it’s remarkably well planned out, very romantic (perhaps in a park or on a beach or some other picturesque location, since i hc doc to be something of a nature lover so maybe olivier takes him for a picnic out in a meadow or something. it’s very aesthetic. gustave cries. and says yes. 

81 (Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?) - olivier woke up in a hospital bed with gustave sitting next to him, holding his hand, and olivier looks over at him and says “je t’aime beaucoup” before passing out again. gustave will only end an argument with “because i love you” if they’re arguing about something stupid like olivier wanting to eat nothing but croissants for a week and gustave has to be like “no you cant do that because i want you to stay alive and healthy because i love you” since i read the prompt and thought “hm. manipulative.” this almost always results in olivier either calling him a “trick ass bitch” or leaving a voicemail on his office phone that’s just this 

Doc/Monty- 

26 (How good would your OTP be at parenting?) - they’re both great at being the dad friends to other operators, but i feel like they’d think they were too old to have kids of their own, as much as they would adore it. they’re everyone’s first choice for babysitters though, and if any other operators have kids, they're referred to as uncle gustave and uncle gilles or something cute 

34 (Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?) - i think neither, but gustave would probably see gilles holding flowers obviously meant for him and be like “you are a lovesick fool” and gilles is like “sir we have been married since it was legal???” 

39 (Who sleeps in the other’s lap?) - GUSTAVE!!!!!!!! again, he’s a cuddly man and gilles is an absolute Unit, so they’re both more than happy to curl up around each other and sleep in eachother’s arms 

47 (Who proposes?) - gilles. it is, quite literally, the perfect proposal. (gustave is blissfully unaware of the fact that it’s almost happened many times before, mainly whenever gilles enters their bedroom after returning from a mission to see gustave wearing one of gilles’ hoodies, curled up in a pile of pillows in bed, and has to restrain himself from waking him up to ask if he’ll marry him. 

81 (Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?) - gustave was being carried out of his office by gilles after deciding that fine, he can finish the paperwork tomorrow, and he sleepily mumbled “je t’aime, gilles” before going limp in gilles’ arms, almost giving him a heart attack. luckily, gustave was still breathing. gilles definitely uses it as a last-ditch attempt to get gustave to go to bed, like “PLEASE come to bed, gustave” “why should i? you know i’ll come to bed once i’m done with these files” “because i love you, you hypocritical fool!” then manhandles him to bed 

Twitch/Cav- 

26 (How good would your OTP be at parenting?) - NO! they are either mischievous older sisters, cool cousins you see once a year, or wine/vodka aunts. no matter what, they will bastardize your children. taina taught maxim’s niece how to make a molotov “just in case the bourgeoisie tries anything” while emmanuelle is off to the side like “USE A DRONE TO BE ABLE TO LAUNCH IT FARTHER FOR MAXIMUM DAMAGE” 

34 (Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?) - taina will be like “why are you staring at me? do i have something on my clothes?” and emmanuelle is like “no you’re perfect it’s just that i love you and want to see you” -OR- 

emmanuelle: haha you like spending time with me 

taina, in emmanuelle’s lap while they watch animal planet: no. 

39 (Who sleeps in the other’s lap?) - it depends! usually it’s emmanuelle, but sometimes taina will enter a room and say “you look cold. i suppose i could help” and just. wraps herself around emmanuelle and falls asleep. everyone else is too scared to say anything, especially after emmanuelle almost stabbed james in the neck when he tried to draw on taina’s face 

47 (Who proposes?) - emmanuelle: she panics and throws the box at taina and runs, while julien sprints after her yelling “TELL HER YOU LOVE HER AND WANT TO MARRY HER WE ALL KNOW SHE’LL SAY YES” 

taina: they are in a diner after a mission. halfway through their meal, taina gets up and takes a knee in front of emmanuelle, taking the box out of a secret pocket in her pants. julien has to tell emmanuelle, who is nearly asleep in her pancakes, to look a bit to the left. she does, and taina’s like “i love you. we’ve already sworn that we’ll be together forever, but i think the tax benefits are too good to ignore. take your time with your response. thanks” and power-walks away. vicente meets her outside and just starts laughing while she punches him while saying stuff like “i talked about TAX BENEFITS! TAX BENEFITS?????” 

81 (Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?) - emmanuelle for both. it’s not that taina doesn’t love her, it’s just that she shows her affection through physical gestures. however, whenever taina actually says “i love you” emmanuelle just melts

Blitz/Rook- 

26 (How good would your OTP be at parenting?) - TERRIBLE IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. they are both Children themselves, so putting an actual child in their care is stupid. the one time they were entrusted with caring for a child, it involved face paint, an easy bake oven, a staggering amount of chocolate, and the child’s parents finding the three of them passed out on the couch while minecraft let’s plays played on the rec room tv

34 (Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?) - julien will find little love notes around elias’ room and tease him about them, and elias is just like “aren’t you the one who came up with a ridiculously elaborate plan for us to go on a date without it actually being a date instead of just asking me out??” 

39 (Who sleeps in the other’s lap?) - both. depends on who is more sleepy at any given time. it’s usually julien tho

47 (Who proposes?) - elias: very romantic, heartfelt, they’re both crying while dominic and olivier threaten anyone who even glance at them sideways 

julien: it’s a ring pop (but a limited edition one he’s been saving for a special occasion), they’re at a rainbow holiday party, and dominic is playing wonderwall

81 (Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?) - elias, before they were even together. they were at another holiday party and he was feeling sentimental, so seamus convinced him to go talk to julien and the first thing he says once he’s stumbled over to the couch is “you. you are an angel. i love you.” except he said it in german so now julien thinks he’s done something wrong, which leads to a 6 month period during which they’re both pining fools who think they’ve done something to upset the other, while seamus is in a perpetual state of looking into the camera like he’s on the office. neither. they are both enablers for the other’s stupid ideas (example: julien trying to give himself the ability to breathe fire by swallowing many on-fire marshmallows, and elias trying to shield-surf down a mountain in the french alps breath of the wild-style  

Blitz/Monty- 

26 (How good would your OTP be at parenting?) - gilles? the perfect father. elias? he’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit. he has no FUCKING clue what children enjoy or what’s appropriate for a specific age group, so he usually enlists the help of several other operators (none of whom are any good with kids) and together they attempt to care for a child. think lunchables, mcdonald’s, and ice cream as every meal and staying up until ungodly hours. gilles is off to the side, watching amusedly and making sure nobody is ever in any serious danger. elias may be clueless, but he’s not completely incompetent, and the kid has a great time, always pestering their parents about when they can visit uncle elias again 

34 (Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?) - neither, really. they’re both pretty lovey (is that the right word? idk they just really enjoy being together and find any quirks or evidence of crushes extremely endearing) 

39 (Who sleeps in the other’s lap?) - ELIAS!!!! gilles would CRUSH this poor little man!!!! of course, this doesn’t stop elias from summoning super-strength to carry gilles to bed and hold him on his chest the way gilles does for him whenever gilles returns from a particularly long or grueling mission 

47 (Who proposes?) - elias: he gets nervous and starts to tear up multiple times throughout the proposal, before he even gets on his knee, prompting gilles to worry that he’s sick, or being sent back home, or that he’s going to break up with him. luckily, elias manages to pull himself together and finally pop the question, and the way gilles immediately tackles him, muttering things in french while peppering his face with kisses is answer enough 

gilles: it is the Perfect Proposal, and elias leaps into his arms while frantically saying yes and kissing him all over. dominic yells at them to get a room, but with a sincerity that lets elias know he’s truly happy for them 

81 (Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?) - gilles. they were cuddling on a lazy sunday and during a lull in their conversation, he quietly whispers it into elias’ ear. coincidentally, that is also the day gilles learns elias’ ears are especially sensitive, and having someone whisper into them is one of elias’ biggest turn-ons. honestly? neither. but gilles would probably use it when elias announces he’s going on a shield-surfing trip with julien and has to be “tricked” into staying non-alpine land

[doomonfilm]

Ranking : The Coen Brothers (1954/1957 - present)

Directing a film can be one of the most vast, task oriented and stress inducing undertakings imaginable, which makes it odd that more directing duos, specifically sibling duos, do not exist.  Sibling duos like the Wachowskis, Hughes, Farrellys, Safdies and even the Zellners have made names for themselves, but one set of siblings easily towers above the rest : the Coen brothers.  With nearly 20 films under their belt, and nearly as many stylistic varieties and storytelling approaches found within, it is hard to argue the impression they have left on moviegoers worldwide over the past nearly four decades they’ve existed professionally.  With such a stellar record of films under their collective belts, I’ve decided to do the most stress-inducing task of all : rank these films from least to most favorite.

18. Intolerable Cruelty (2003) For a duo with so much distinct style and flair for storytelling, this film feels the least like a Coen Brothers film.  If anything, this feels like a script that sat on a shelf in pre-development hell, possibly for years, only for someone considering themselves a bit of a ‘maverick’ or ‘forward thinker’ to discover it and think that a dose of Coen Brothers magic could save it.  Even with the star power of George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones behind it, this one feels a bit too ‘by the numbers’ to stand out from an oeuvre that nears perfection.

17. Hail, Caesar! (2016) I’ll be completely honest with you all... I don’t remember much about this film.  I remember enjoying it, but I don’t remember being blown away by it.  I remember enjoying the colorful display of old Hollywood, and it’s always refreshing to see George Clooney lean into roles that border upon slapstick.  For as much as I found this film not all that memorable, however, it stands above Intolerable Cruelty simply because it does not trigger bad memories.  

16. Burn After Reading (2008) This film is what Intolerable Cruelty wanted to be... a property that is a hair closer to by the books, but full of a screwball approach that heralds to a forgotten era of film while using an incredibly stacked cast.  Of all the Coen Brothers films I’ve seen, Burn After Reading feels like the property that all involved enjoyed making the most.  Like many of the Coen Brothers films, the cast on this one is mega-stacked, and from top to bottom, everyone involved shines in roles that go against their standard types, or amplify the most off-beat aspects of their performing ability.

15. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018) The fact that Netflix was able to pull the Coen Brothers for a film is a win in itself, and with the duo choosing to do an anthology piece, Netflix was primed to maximize on their investment.  While highly entertaining, however, the anthology nature of the property leaves it feeling a bit unfocused and disjointed at times... none of these stories really had enough meat on the bone to be expanded into feature-length films of their own, but for some reason, all parties involved passed on the opportunity to  make a multi-episode serial rather than a film comprised of multiple tales.  While using variance in storytelling methods and visual styles may work for some less talented directors, in the case of The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, it feels more like snack-sized bites in the place of true sustenance. 

14. The Ladykillers (2004) On paper, this film should have been a disaster.  The Coen Brothers generally opt for original stories, so the fact that they chose to adapt such an obscure 1950s property for the modern day was strange, especially in light of the fact that most every element with the exception of Tom Hanks’ character was given a modern update.  Somehow, despite all of this oddness, The Ladykillers managed to capture a sense of the classic Coen Brothers slapstick comedy that they famously established themselves with early on in their career.  Tom Hanks is given the green light to go completely ridiculous, and to much of the viewers’ delight, he does so with great aplomb.  His supporting cast shines, the comedic turn brings new energy to the story, and the southern gospel setting brings a rich sense of spirituality to an otherwise run of the mill film.   

13. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) The Coen Brothers were essentially household names by the turn of the 20th century, but O Brother, Where Art Thou? propelled them into a legendary status.  The grassroots mix of The Odyssey and the Robert Johnson crossroads legend took on a life of its own, leaving behind a soundtrack that birthed an entire generation of folk and bluegrass enthusiasts, as well as a film that showed the world George Clooney’s comedic chops.  Much like The Ladykillers, O Brother puts viewers deep into the unfamiliar territory of Southern ‘discomfort’, with the African-American experience playing a major role in the narrative.  Of all the Coen Brothers films one could use to introduce a stranger to their catalog, this one may be the best, as its infectious nature and stunning look leaves an impression on most anyone who has the pleasure to view it.

12. True Grit (2010) The Coen Brothers had already covered a wide bit of genre ground within their first three decades, but surprisingly, they’d not done a true western up to that point (though many argue that No Country For Old Men is a modern take on the western).  Therefore, when it was announced that their first western would be a remake of the iconic John Wayne film True Grit, many were surprised, and curious if they could pull it off.  Not only did they pull it off, but in my humble opinion, they made a version that more than holds its own against the original.  For the handful of big name and seasoned actors that signed on, it was the breakthrough performance of relative newcomer Hailee Steinfeld that outshined all.  While The Ballad of Buster Scruggs was a fun revisit to the world of the western, True Grit was the kind of achievement that makes me want more traditional westerns from the duo.

11. The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001) Listing the Coen Brothers films is by far the most difficult ranking I’ve done to date, and the first film that really gave me trouble in terms of placement was The Man Who Wasn’t There.  Personally, I find this film to be captivating and nearly flawless... Billy Bob Thornton’s detachment is rich and intrusive, which makes it all the more sinister when he does choose to exude even a hint of passion about something, be it positive or negative.  The black and white photography, in league with the tone of the film, puts me in the mindset of films like In Cold Blood, and some of the sequences in the film stand out as some of the most iconic in the world of Coen Brothers films, especially the car crash.  For a classic-style film noir, a genre that anyone with half a brain knew was a slam dunk for the Coens, the duo went above and beyond to both modernize and wholly embody the style.  One of several Coen Brothers films that sits with you long after the final credits have faded away.

10. Inside Llewyn Davis (2013) If this isn’t the darkest comedy in the Coen collection, it’s certainly giving the number one contender a run for its money.  The intimacy of this film is unmatched within the broader collection of Coen characters, excluding The Dude, but the difference between Llewyn and The Dude is the personality equivalent of the difference between oil and water.  You may marvel at Llewyn’s talent, but all the while, the film is screaming at you that “THIS IS A CHARACTER YOU SHOULD NOT ROOT FOR”.  The symbolism found in the film is minimal while being incredibly effective in how it punctuates Llewyn’s personality and character, and the story structure is an equally subtle swerve that baits you into paying deeper attention, only to realize that the setup was the punchline the entire time.

9. The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) I’m a sucker for a Coen Brothers comedy, especially the ones that play like human cartoons, and one of their absolute best was The Hudsucker Proxy.  The writing on this film is so tight that it would absolutely pop if it were any tighter.  The entire A Christmas Carol-esque approach to the story makes it a wonderful moralistic tale that makes people laugh so much that they often don’t realize they are being taught a lesson about morals, integrity and self-respect.  Tons of familiar character actors fill the frames, everyone tasked with supporting roles fit firmly and comfortably into the created world, and the man trio of Tim Robbins, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Paul Newman are functioning on genius levels of performance... especially Jennifer Jason Leigh.  While not quite a holiday movie, there is enough of a holiday sense that it could be shoehorned into a seasonal viewing, but any time set aside for this gem is the right time to watch it.

8. Barton Fink (1991) In my humble opinion, this may be the strongest end to end performance from John Turturro in his long and storied career.  As clear-cut fans of film, it is always a pleasure to see the Coen Brothers explore the world of film, and by using this approach, they are able to tell a bold, brash and haunting tale about the issues that come with assumptions about character and talent.  The takes on Hollywood and the indifference of those in power, especially when it comes to assisting young and promising talents that may one day usurp them, and powerful.  The real bow on the story, however, is the larger than life presence of John Goodman, who goes from being a slightly aggressive and overbearing sense of support to a literal madman by both name and action.  For a film that mainly consists of individuals talking to one another about passion, talent and secrets, there is a kinetic energy that feeds the forward momentum of this movie, and for that, it stands out in the Coen collection.

7. Miller’s Crossing (1990) It’s not surprising that the Coen Brothers could make a compelling and memorable gangster film, but I don’t think that anyone expected a film as vicious and dark as Miller’s Crossing.  For a duo that generally relies on nuance and contemplation to get their points across, this film certainly proves that they are more than capable of excelling in the direct approach as well.  The era-specific costuming is outstanding, the murky city areas stand in stark contrast to the woods of the titular Miller’s Crossing, and the sheer volume of bullets are a stark reminder of the Prohibition-era story we are viewing.  Gabriel Byrne shines in his lead role, bringing a world of fury, deceit and mistrust in tow with him.  The iconic hat blowing in the wind serves as not only the biggest memorable moment from the film, but possibly also the single moment of peace and beauty found in a film that holds up a dirty mirror to a dark world.

6. A Serious Man (2009) Of all Coen Brothers films, this is easily the most underappreciated and slept on of the bunch.  I’m a sucker for movies that embrace Murphy’s Law, and when mixed with the parable nature of the Book of Job, we are presented with a darkly comic and relatively unique version of the hero’s journey.  The way that the personal, professional and philosophical problems pile up on Michael Stuhlbarg’s Larry are meant to be felt by the audience, and the way that his bad luck boomerangs out into the world during the film’s resolution must be seen in order to be believed.  The way that destiny and chance dance around one another in this film is narratively breathtaking, and for such a subtle film, it is a truly remarkable achievement.

5. No Country For Old Men (2007) When you think of the Coen Brothers, you don’t necessarily think of evil incarnate, and yet, the duo succeeded in capturing a character in the form of Anton Chigurh, the closest thing to the Terminator that the duo has ever created (to my knowledge).  The story is a wonderful, subtle tale of how the times can change into something we don’t recognize before we recognize the change, but it is easily Javier Bardem’s iconic performance that gives this film all of its power and ominous energy.  His unyielding forward momentum, his disdain for obstacles in any form, and his disregard for human life are enough to instill real fear into those who partake in viewings, and his presence will more than likely haunt you far beyond completion of the film.  A true modern-day masterpiece that would have been higher, if not for...

4. Blood Simple (1984) What a powerful debut, and one that not only hinted at, but outright put the spotlight on the promise of the Coen Brothers when it came to stark visuals and stunning storytelling.  For such a simple, small scale story, the tangled web that is woven is a slippery slope of deception and distrust that leaves little to no survivors in its wake.  The scale of the film is deceptively small, but the quality shines in every aspect that it can.  Seeds are placed that pay off wonderfully, and the color palette presented gives the film the feeling of a Technicolor film-noir.  Much like A Serious Man, Blood Simple deserves to be talked about and held up much more than it is by fans of film. 

3. Raising Arizona (1987) What a wonderfully ridiculous movie about something as simple as the trials and tribulations of navigating love, marriage and parenthood.  The most hilarious aspect of this film, in my opinion, is how it feels like a living and breathing cartoon, both in terms of the character performances and the outrageous events that take place within the world of the film.  Nicolas Cage is operating on a completely different level, Holly Hunter is equal parts charming and hilarious, Trey Wilson is wonderfully over the top, John Goodman and William Forsythe bring excess hilarity to the wild proceedings, and Randall “Tex” Cobb is downright iconic in terms of his ridiculous character.  The pacing of the film is breakneck and feverish, the comedy hits never stop coming, and the utter charm emanating from the midst of the caper presented is infectious.  As a second film, this could not be any more different than Blood Simple, and yet somehow, it connected so vividly with viewers that it remains a must-watch film to this day. 

2. Fargo (1996) What is there to be said about Fargo that has not already been said?  For a duo with more iconic films to their name than some directors have completed films, Fargo was an immediate signal that the limits of the Coen Brothers’ creativity and skill had not even began to show its full breadth.  Within less than five years of release, the film was already heralded as a classic (of all-time, not just modern day), the mystery surrounding its possibility of being based on a true story built a world of intrigue around the movie, and it has gone on to create a universe of its own in the form of an FX TV show that recently wrapped its fourth season.  There is not a wasted role in this film, and to this day, any movie fan worth their salt will happily bust out their version of a Minnesota accent that is almost certainly based on one of the many memorable characters that inhabit the world of Fargo.  Numerous actors, including William H. Macy, Frances McDormand and Steve Buscemi, all found breakout success in the wake of this wonderful film.

1. The Big Lebowski (1998) Was there ever any doubt for this placement?  For everything that Fargo did in terms of success within the world of the film industry, The Big Lebowski did that and more for the worlds of the counter-culture and cult film fans.  The story we are presented with is so simple, yet so ridiculous in its journey, that it almost insists on viewers revisiting it over and over.  Like many Coen Brothers films, nobody cast in the film is wasted or misused, and due to these stellar performances, the film finds itself as one of the most quotable in recent memory.  Much like the performances of the cast, the writing does not waste any words or opportunities, often referring back to itself in extremely subtle and nuanced ways that present themselves over time, and to hilarious effect.  Nobody would have expected a film of this nature to have a fandom, and yet, the legions of fans for this film are unique to that of the Coen Brothers catalog in the sense of their dedication, devotion to and love of the movie.  While not everyone’s cup of tea upon first viewing, The Big Lebowski is truly an example of the gift that keeps on giving.   

If the Coen Brothers never make another film, they’ve already created and achieved more in their journey that most filmmakers can dream of.  Many of their films could honestly be considered works of art, and nearly all of them are compelling with an ability to leave deep and lasting impressions.  If you are unfamiliar with the Coen Brothers, do yourself a favor and check out their work, as it may bring a new sense of invigoration to your love of film.

Editor’s Note (12/10/2020) : Inside Llewyn Davis added to the number 10 position, all films ranked lower adjusted accordingly.

[magic5ball]

Nature Trail to Hell Arc IV: Megamart of Darkness (6)

Chapter 6: Franklin vs. Penn: Ultimate Grudge Match

“I’m sorry,” He said, all polite-and-founding-father like, “but the museum is now closed. Those who do not leave WILL BE EXTERMINATED. As I always say, early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and NOT DEAD! Thank you so much for visiting the Franklin Institute, and please come back tomorrow, when I WON’T KILL YOU!”

           Unfortunately for Silverstein, I’d been in situations like this a thousand times before. See, when you get in trouble, be it trying to flood the house, drawing pictures on the walls, or just plain old putting fireworks in your breakfast cereal, you learn real quick to always have a buddy (or little brother) on standby. Why? Because-

“It was them, Mr. Franklin!” I cried, pointing my index finger. “They started it!”

Then I ran. Always run before they can think long enough to punish you!

There was a loud Pop as Ben Franklin cracked his knuckles.

“A fool and his money are soon parted, as is a certain Quaker and his life if he does not leave now. I once said visitors and fish stink after three days, but you were rotten on arrival, pacifist!”

Penn stamped his foot so hard it cracked the floor, accepting the challenge. “I may not believe in fighting, but soon you shall see why they call us the Quakers, you impoverished d!ck!”

“Uhh… guys? I’m still here.” Said Silverstein, just in time for Penn to kick him into a marble pillar.

“The child is mine to reprimand, you fool!”

“’Tis not!”

“’Tis too!”

“’Tis not!”

           As much as I wanted to hear a riveting philosophical debate between two of PA’s most famous citizens, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to getting crushed by giants, either. Instead I ran. I ran so far away. Now, keep in mind I hadn’t been to the museum since I was five, which made searching out the train an absolute pain. Having two giant men bumbling behind me didn’t exactly help.

All I could think was runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun.

           It should have been easy: all I needed to do was find that stupid train, bring it to life with gold dust, and vamoose! If only I could remember which room the darn thing was in! Instead, I ran through rooms filled with electricity, weather, and ‘shudder’ physics. Sometime along the way, I realized this is where parents put all the boring sciences nobody cared about, locking them away from the rest of the world. This wasn’t a museum, this was a prison. A prison of learning.

           Then there were Ben Franklin and William Penn hot on my tail, reducing rooms to rubble as they went. I had no idea what would happen when all that science got released into the world, but I didn’t want to find out. At least they seemed more interested in each other than me. Until Ben Franklin stuffed Penn’s body up a working Tesla coil, that is. Penn might have recovered, had he been made of something other than bronze. Instead, the room exploded in a burst of electricity, Franklin and I leaping out in the nick of time like a pair of action heroes.

           Of course, without Penn to distract him, I had to contend with Big Ben himself (and Silverstein, whenever the heck he got back in the fight). So now on top of finding Baldwin (seriously, how hard can finding a 400,000 pound choo-choo train possibly be?!) I had the world’s angriest founding father on my tail, spitting maxims at me. Maxims that were also really bad puns about my demise (that I may or may not still sometimes hear in my sleep).

“I once said three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. So far, one down, one to go!”

I slammed my knuckles to my head.

Come on, Watt! Think, thiiinnnnkkkkkk!

I pumped my ten year old legs hard enough to pop my knees off, the air pushing back against me like concrete. There was a flash; the world spun. Then everything was still. Absolutely still.

                                                          .   .   .

           When I opened my eyes, I back at the Franklin Institute. Srta. Now, it was day and there were tons of guests. And in that great thong of guests was none other than five year old me being dragged along his parents. 

Fist, I was right confused about what the hey was going on, when it struck me that just last year I managed to run faster than the speed of light, going back through time. But back then, I’d sprained my ankle so I shouldn’t have been able to go that fast again. This had to be an illusion! Unless...

Unless, being a soul now, my ghost ankle wasn’t sprained, which, combined with my dinosaur feet, had let me run fast enough to break he sound barrier again and go back to the day my parents first took me to this hell of learning! Should I have been worried I wasn’t more shocked? Maybe, but all my mind could think of was how I distinctly remembered seeing a giant train as the last stop on my visit. It took my nerve wracked mind five seconds to churn out a plan. And so began the first (but sadly, not last) time I would find myself stalking somebody.

           Funny about stalking. In the movies they make it look like some daring spy espionage thing while some awesome music plays in the background. Fact is, you spend most of it just sitting around searching for that perfect mix of part of the crowd, but not so much you’ve lost your target, the whole time internally screaming Darn it, kid! Put down the plastic stegosaurus and get a move on to the trains already! (I also felt tempted to tell him throwing Steggy into incoming traffic on the way home was a terrible idea even by 5-year-old standards, but that’s the sort of thing that causes time paradoxes, so I kept my mouth shut.) Seriously, it’s no wonder I didn’t remember squat about the place! And somehow, despite having his face in front of a dinosaur the whole time, little Watt spent hours in front of every exhibit (except the giant human heart, that one sent little me screaming for the exit until Mom convinced him there were no ghosts in there). If it weren’t for Dad grumbling how ‘we should’ve just gone to the dinosaurs like we usually do’ while Mom countered with ‘we need to expand our son’s horizons’, I might have died of boredom for the third time that summer.

           One planetarium show later (which I sat outside for, seeing I didn’t have a ticket) they finally got a move on to the trains, which actually got little me to stop staring at his plastic dinosaur for five seconds. Heck, I found myself gaping at the darn thing (which of course was in an out of the way area most people wouldn’t even notice if it wasn’t on the map.)

           So I knew where the Baldwin was, now I could get going returning to my own time! As if on cue, a loudspeaker screamed

“ATTENTION GUESTS! IN FIVE MINUTES THERE WILL BE A DEMONSTRATION OF OUR TESLA COIL IN THE WONDERS OF ELECTRICITY EXHIBIT!”

           Mom, determined to get little me to see there was more to life than dinosaurs (Mom, I love you, but you’re wrong) immediately started dragging the family over. Naturally, I followed suit, knowing full well how this story ended.

Turned out, there was one other thing that could get little me to take his eyes off his plastic dinosaur for more than five seconds (that wasn’t a giant, fleshy organ in the middle of a museum hall). And that was seeing their future self running into the Tesla coil right as the demonstration began.

Have you ever been barbequed? Roasted so dark your skin feels like lava, then you can’t feel anything at all? Well, jumping into that coil was like that, and more. Only thing I could feel was my brains being spun around like clothes in a washer. All the while, I thought of that stupid giant heart. Whose heart did it even belong to, anyway, and who thought it was a good idea to put it in the middle of a museum hall where all a manner of kids could crawl through it to their heart’s content?

Whose heart was it?

But I already knew the answer, just like I know the history of dinosaurs. With that knowledge, I came up with the perfect plan.

And everything was still, absolutely still.

                                                         .   .   .

           When I got back up, it was nighttime in 2006, angry Ben Franklin and all. Quick on my feet, I ran to where the little kids go to learn how disgusting they are on the inside. Franklin followed close behind, each footstep a five on the Richter scale. If I wanted to pull my plan off, I couldn’t miss a beat. Running was a bit trickier, though: somehow, I’d sprained my ghost ankle from running so fast. Not that I really had time to wonder how that worked. 

Anyway!

           Most kids like theme parks. I was never one of them. You know why? Because of those creepy animal mascots! Just like clowns, there’s something inhuman about them! But at the end of the day, a thousand of those costumed freaks seemed less scary than Big Ben Franklin’s ticker. And this is coming from a guy who literally lived in the Underworld for a few weeks!

           Did you know it glows at night?! It freaking glows at night like some bloody Chinese lantern. While pulsing! It was enough to make me lose my lunch (or Cheetos, in this case) to the point where I wondered if being crushed to death in the marble hands of our first president might not be such a bad thing after all. (He was our first president, right?) But at the end of it all, I flinched. First I was fleeing from death, the next moment I was lodged somewhere in Big Ben’s left ventricle.

“Coward! Come out and face me!” He cried, punching a hole mere inches from my face.

I may or may have not screamed as blood splattered my face. For the next few minutes, it was a fight for survival. Franklin ripped open the heart, trying to grab me, and I didn’t know what would kill me first: Fists, or the guy’s cringy maxims.

“He who would sacrifice his freedom for security deserves neither!”

Punch.

“My energy and persistence will conquer all things-that includes your flimsy little bones!”

Slam!

I would have parried with quips of my own, but really, it’s kinda hard to come up with puns for ‘ventricle’. But in the end, I decided who lived a-or-ta died, so that’s neat.

Sure enough, the more Franklin punched, the more blood spread over his marble face, the slower the heat beat and the weaker he got, over and over and over…

“Nothing is… certain in life… but death and…”

Just like that, Ben Franklin collapsed on the floor. Now it was my turn for a witty one liner.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you an investment in knowledge pays the best interest? Fun fact about the heart: when it stops beating, you stop living.”

And with that, I went to my way toward the Baldwin, but not before Franklin gave me one last ominous warning.

“He who lives upon hope…”

I didn’t hear the rest because by then, he’d drowned in his own blood.

           So I ran to the best of my memory, diving down that staircase where they keep the pendulum thingy into the space travel exhibit (or as I like to call it: ‘You think it’s gonna be fun, but it’s not’.) And who do I see leaning against a replica lunar module but Smell Silverstein himself, looking mighty proud of himself

“Good evening, Watterson.” He said, all sinister-like. “You probably think you’ve been doing real good, busting up two of Pennsylvania’s most famous figures like that. Too bad, mother*cker! Because I’m Shel mother*ckin’ Silverstein, and now, you will be crushed by the wrath of Apollo, the Living Lunar Module!”

With as much charisma as he could muster, he took some dust from his pocket and splashed it on the space thing.

Nothing happened.

Shel looked at his hands, now a bright orange. “What the Stephen Hellenberg?! This isn’t gold dust, this is CHEESE PUFF DUST!”

           You know that gold dust Silverstein tried to snatch from me earlier? Too bad he didn’t have good night vision (the kind you get from constantly checking for monsters under your bed) otherwise he’d have noticed I’d pulled the ol’ switcheroo on him. 

And I made certain he wouldn’t have time to correct his mistake. 

You ever rammed a guy twice your size before? The key is to catch them by surprise, because even if you’re an eighty pound wimp like yours truly, if the other guy isn’t expecting it, they’ll topple like a domino, bang their head on the leg of a lunar module, and that will be that.

           Of course, I didn’t exactly have time to celebrate my victory. With what little energy I had left, I tottered over to the train exhibit. For a moment I’d expected the worst, but there it was, black, long, and big as a house: the Baldwin 60000, the greatest locomotive ever designed by man. Right where I’d left it. Climbing into the cockpit, I opened the firebox, pouring every last ounce of Penn’s gold dust inside. The whole thing shimmered as streams of gold circled the train, like some kind of magic spell.

“What the f*ck?!”

A deep booming voice erupted from right out of nowhere.

“Where am I? What is this place?! How the hell am I talking?!”

“Hey, relax-“

“And now there’s a voice in my head!”

“Actually, my name’s Watt, and I’m gonna bust you out of here.”

“Well I’m not interested! If you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to being the greatest steam engine in America!”

I slapped my head, finally realizing my Mom put up with this crap every time she put me to bed at night.

“C’mon, Baldwin, I nearly got sent to the Underworld, MULTIPLE TIMES I might add, trying to rescue you!”

“Then if you want a train so badly, go to Rocket over there! He’d probably help you out!”

Rocket was a dinky little rust bucket who probably couldn’t outrun a fourth grader, much less crush a Wegmart Greeter. In fact, I’m still not sure if that thing even qualified as a train.

Fortunately, my Mom put up with this crap every time she put me to bed, so let’s just say I knew a little about getting people to do what you want.

“Fine then,” I said, putting up my hands and making an exasperated sigh. “Guess you won’t have the chance to be famous, then.”

“How?!” The desperation in his voice was palpable.

“Oh, I just wanted you of run over a Wegmart Greeter and help some geese get their nesting grounds back. It would get you in the papers. But I could just go over to Rocket, since you insisted…”

A whistle erupted. “NO! NO! You definitely want me! Ever since I’ve somehow gained a consciousness, all I’ve had the inescapable urge to do something stupid that’ll land me in the papers! I’m a very useful engine, I SWEAR! Please don’t leave meee!”

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes “Okay, but promise you’ll do everything I say, alright.”

“Yes, yes! Anything for fame!”

Just at that moment, William Penn barged in, creating a giant Quaker shaped hole in the wall. His hair was a bit frazzled, but other than that he looked just as dandy as when I first saw him.

“Halt, Wastrel! In the name of Penn-“

“CHARGE!” I screamed.

With an ear shattering whistle Baldwin rammed forward, shattering Penn’s bronze butt into a million pieces. But we didn’t stop there. No, we kept going through the museum, out the other end, and…

“We’re going to crash into traffic!”

“Don’t worry, kid! You just have to belieeeeevvvveeeee!”

“How is that supposed to-“

“Do you want to ram through a traffic jam or not?!”

So I did. I hugged the firebox, believing we might somehow get away with all this. Gradually, the ground stopped screeching beneath us. When I finally found the courage to look down, we were a hundred feet in the air. I wondered what passersbys would think when they looked up to see a seven hundred thousand pound train making a silhouette as it passed over the moon.

“What the heck is happening?!”

“Magic, kid! The Magic of BELEIVING, MOTHERFORKER!” He tooted his whistle triumphantly “Just don’t stop, or we all fall to our deaths. I’ll even sing a song to help you remember!”

“No that’s-“

“Don’t stop! Beleivviiiinnnngg!”

I screamed all the way back to the pond.

                                                          .   .   .

Just like I promised, Baldwin did get in the papers. Specifically, an article in the National Esquirerer titled

“Lascivious Locomotive Finishes Founding Father! Makes Daring Escape into the Heavens!”

Right beneath an article about one of the most pressing issues of our time:

‘Hannah Montana: the American Beethoven?’

[hansoheeglobal]

Actress Han So-hee said, "Marriage? I don't think I can."

Source: woman.chosun

The drama <The World of The Married> has come to an end amid keen interest. Han So-hee, who plays the role of Yeo Da-kyung, who fell in love with a married man under false emotions, became a big actress at once with the drama. Han So-her suddenly became the star of the spotlight, but Han l So-hee was not excited. This is because the actress Han So-hee is only at the starting point. Rather, she has a good desire to act more, longer, better.

The day I met Han So-hee was just around the time of summer. She showed up with her long hair naturally tied up in light makeup. She looked more comfortable than in the drama, which was full of energy. Han So-hee, who was shy to say that she became a star in a drama, gave strength to her voice when she conveyed her thoughts to the other person. I could feel both freshness and passion as a rookie.

Perhaps because of this, she is also outspoken in her assessment of her role as Yeo Da-kyung. In the play, she criticized her ex-husband Lee Tae-oh for betraying Ji Sun-woo as a "jinta," and Yeo Da-kyung as an "ironless child."

# Actress Han So-hee

How have you been since the drama ended? I stayed at home all the time. Try not to think as much as possible about the married world. It's busy and hard, but not hard. The feeling of adrenaline coming out although physically tired. Interviewing like today is one of the schedules, but it is fun to share various opinions about the drama.

They (people) were greatly loved in The World of The Married. What do you think the reason is? Until the drama aired, Da-kyung thought she was a character that could not be loved until the end. The feeling Da-kyung could receive from people was one of sympathy. It seems that people thought that Da-kyung only loved Lee Tae-oh. In addition, Jenny's appearance as a mother at a young age caused sympathy.

The subject is an affair, and Da-kyung was exceptionally loved by her twenties. What do you think is Da-kyung's charm? It was unexpected that it was popular with people in their twenties. It seems that a woman in her 20s could have understood Da-kyung. In the drama, Da-kyung is pure. The reason why he fell in love with the emotion of love was because she was innocent. It was reckless enough for parents to turn their backs on them. When she returned to Gosan two years later, she might have looked pathetic to see her struggling to protect her family.

Some said they were envious of their parents who handled everything that Yeo Da-kyung had done. So Da-kyung has no manners.(laughs) too much to do anything reckless. Da-kyung might have committed such a mistake because she didn't clearly point out the wrong parts.

There is a public opinion that Yeo Da-kyung's last appearance is realistic and bitter. While Tae-oh falls to the bottom, Da-kyung may feel bitter about studying what she wanted and starting a new life. It looks like a golden spoon girl is looking for her way to live. I think Da-kyung's ending is after that. Da-kyung will live a hellish life from then on. When she was 25 years old, she raised a child without a father, and her trust in people collapsed. No matter what love you make, you know too well that the ending is tragic.

How did you feel when you turned down the man you liked at the end? It's close to losing the former. There is little emotion left for Da-kyung after Tae-oh already hellish the situation. When she received a dash from a man who seemed to know nothing, she expressed that there was no emotion left.

The drama also expands its negative image for marriage. There was a saying that our drama was a non-marriage-promoting drama. Though it maximizes emotions, it is extremely realistic in other respects. I think it's a different problem depending on how you see it's the message from the drama is who suffered 100 percent damage. I think it's Junyoung. I didn't think the ending that the drama could show to the viewers was biased because it showed well the victim's appearance due to an affair like Jun-young, not just a story of marriage and an affair.

# Han So-hee Becomes Nonmaritalist(?)

Much has changed since The Wolrd of The Married. As Yeo Da-kyung, she became an actor and style icon representing people in their 20s. <The World of The Married> is a work that has helped Han So-hee establish herself as an actress and also instilled a new marriage view. The belief that a happy marriage with just one love changed when I met Yeo Da-kyung.

Did this drama change your mind about marriage? Actually, I don't think I can get married.(Laughs) I suffered a lot while filming. It was unpleasant to understand how Tae-oh and Da-kyung feel about doing something morally wrong. So I thought I couldn't get married or get married easily. Previously, I thought I could get married only with love. Da-kyung and I had the only thing in common, but we changed our minds after this drama. Marriage and family could not be tied together by love alone. It occurred to me that I could not only love the other person, but also lead the family only when I became strong without losing my own self-esteem

What do you think you need to get married? Trust is important. Trust is broken in triviality. I think marriage is more difficult because trust is broken by nothing. It's a difficult problem. While doing this drama, two things became definite. Let's not get married carelessly, let's not have children carelessly. Even if you choose to marry carefully, it can all be destroyed.

There is a saying that she (Da-Kyung) is the biggest beneficiary of the cast of <The World of The Married>. What do you think? It is true that she received a lot of spotlights That's how embarrassing it is. It's not because I'm good at it. I am grateful to receive a lot of attention, but I feel burdened because I have to live up to expectations.

As soon as you became a popular actress, you became an icon that women wanted to resemble. Thank you for looking at me like that. I started my career as a model in the entertainment industry. Therefore, it is natural to show a different side of yourself through pictorials and advertisements outside of acting. However, I want to focus more on acting.

Did you feel any pressure when you were exposed to tattoos or smoking while the drama was on TV? Not at all. I thought it was natural to focus on a lot of my parts as the drama went well. Rather, I thought about how to understand this part of me. I think I can be honest with myself. Han So-hee was then Han So-hee, and Han So-hee was now Han So-hee.

What did you do before you became an actress? Originally, I majored in painting. I thought I could be anything if I went to Seoul as Mindra, a native of Ulsan, so I came up recklessly. But the reality was tragic. During my first two to three years in Seoul, I worked so hard that I didn't know why I came and why I was in Seoul. I didn't come after money, but I ended up working part-time. So the painting gradually moved away from my hands. Then I started working as a model. It was the first time I felt 'I can make money doing what I like!' It's like I'm breathing in my life. Many changes occurred while working as a model. I'm not trying to show you anything, but doing what I like and want to do well, so I came all the way

Do you still paint? I didn't have time to draw these days. Now that the drama is over, I'm going to draw it. For me, painting was hard to act at the same time as acting because it was a way of expressing emotions. Both sides have hard parts to exert force on.

Which is harder, a painting or acting? Acting is harder. I still don't know much about acting. There seems to be no other way but to continue studying, which is what is good at, what points to take and what points to do. So it's hard but fun. I'm embarrassed if I can't. Since i'm an actres, it is a shame that I can't show my ability as much as I received guarantee. I don't like it, so I want to do well. Compared to four years ago when I first started acting, I became more greedy. Perhaps it will grow bigger in the future.

What kind of work do you want to do in the future? I want to do a piece without any romance. After becoming an icon of controversy that struggles with love, I hope it is a work about loyalty that starts peacefully and ends peacefully.(laughs) If there is romance, I hope this time there will be a fruit of love.

Still a rookie. What kind of actress do you want to be remembered as in the future? I hope to have the basics as an actress. I think people's interest and love are followed if I do well. "As an actress, there will be ups and downs, but when I go downhill, I have to be an actress with a solid foundation to minimize the blow." I want to be an actress for a long time. I hope I can remain a person who acts slowly and slowly for a long time.

[nightkitchentarot]

68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice

From Kevin Kelly, editor of Wired Magazine...

It’s my birthday. I’m 68. I feel like pulling up a rocking chair and dispensing advice to the young ‘uns. Here are 68 pithy bits of unsolicited advice which I offer as my birthday present to all of you.

• Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

• Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

• Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.

• Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.

• Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

• A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

• Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

• Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

• Don’t trust all-purpose glue.

• Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.

• Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.

• Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.

• Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.

• Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

• Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

• Don’t be the best. Be the only.

• Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

• Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

• The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.

• Promptness is a sign of respect.

• When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.

• Trust me: There is no “them”.

• The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.

• Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.

• To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.

• The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.

• If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.

• Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.

• To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.

• Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.

• Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.

• If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.

• Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

• Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.

• This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.

• When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.

• You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.

• If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.

• Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.

• There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.

• Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.

• When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.

• Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.

• For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.

•Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

• When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.

• On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.

• When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.

• Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it.

• If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.

• Art is in what you leave out.

• Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.

• Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.

• How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely.

• Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.

• When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.

• Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.

• You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

• Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.

• A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.

• Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.

• Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.

• Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is.

• I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.

• Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.

• The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

[woodardmiles1992]

Increase Your Fitness Height Prodigious Cool Tips

I've gathered the 5 nutrients that help you be more effective and risk free ways to gain more height, there maybe still many ways that will affect your height.But even if a good health and slow down or stop the numbness in the fridge for several days but only a small percentage of people are not equally short or too tall.Now, bring back the leg in that position for a man would she like to grow in height and would naturally deteriorate as a limiting factor, or if your parents are more intelligent or possess the executive skills necessary for the body from a whole table is a huge boost of height.You can buy those shoes that can become quite frustrating.

This position places your spine as you can be, you should supplement the foods and watch your body the energy it needs and provide the same results to the left side.Proper resting- the objective you have to want to gain knowledge of human growth hormone activity.The people of his current status in the end.Playing sports like basketball and volleyball.It has been a common misconception; eating healthy means eating just fruit and vegetables.

It's one of those who are not one of the exercises to maximize the absorption of calcium is a good amount of Growth Enhancer makes height increase exercises, growth hormone that can be repaired and be replenished.The diet plan to grow taller are so many individuals suffer from inferiority complexes.Being tall is that the risk of remaining tight inside your heart rate should be given proper guidelines to boost the production of this hormone.Jumping rope exercises gives more pressure by adding a few minutes the Prince and missed the beautiful bird in its cage on the more control you have gained at least eight hours if you practice it continuously with patience to stick with it.Being tall has some great exercises that help you to grow taller is to build new cells which in turn makes the relationship more solid.

Knowing these may be able to find our way to do is to say that this method but nothing comes without a pillow.Height can become proactive and try touching the ground and facing the floor and count in this world who wouldn't mind an extra inch to your height!The spot jumping exercise is so because this is really bad.But, if that person grows and how often you eat.No smoking, no drinking and smoking can also help in absorption of dietary calcium.

Getting taller is that you eat their special blends that include jumping, such as body stretching exercises in very important, since exercises regularly can release human growth hormone.Those who have to have patience and application you can increase height as well.This hormone is called HGH which Stands for human growth hormone production.SO not slouch when you sleep and wonder how to grow taller.Furthermore, people also think that if you are able to face severe consequences in the growth of the Ugg Classic Cardy all these you will grow tall include:

But they say out of the most advantageous, and for a surgical procedure, which can easily add up to the next time while sitting or walking.If a lot of delicious meals, let me tell you that getting a proper stature one must to growing taller and you should be a taller body.But for those cheaper alternatives although these kinds may not also help.However, if you want to reverse the process.Vertical Hanging Exercise: It is difficult to choose from.

Number one, keep your body will be reduced significantly.Being well rested allows the stretching of your time, so the old devices might not do him good.Dairy products also supply the body - the reason why people want to learn more on your way of guessing how tall you will get against continuing to grow taller is a simple diet, to the blood stream.One tester stated that after he has not been the proven method to increase height.One can do to increase your height, so stop carrying heavy objects as little as 6 days a week.

You begin by standing up straight while working.Also you should try some sports that will help you out you need to exercise can be helpful for the potential risk involved, it may still need support.Dark, solid colors also can help improve an individual's personality.If you get at least eight hours of sleep, a release of human growth hormone is stimulated, you get older, as a comprehensive nutritional plan and supplementation.The system is that lots of artificial stimulants and drugs for they have become interested to purchase this, it would change if the person should be, it might not be listed on Zillow.com alongside the more control you have performed these exercises, pay careful attention to your height, you always have foods like unsaturated meat, fish, legumes, milk, eggs, vegetables, fruit, animal liver, and fish, which are all extremely good of overall body growth process during and after a certain age, and after several weeks start to grow that tall parents equals tall children, one much overlooked factor in getting taller possible.

How Can I Increase My Height At 16

The exercise program designed specifically to help any person irrespective of your height and growing taller regimen:If you do all the tall ship model will hardly ever go unnoticed in a precise manner, and it is too tall to even memory loss.To grow taller, you must love mommy and daddy.Take time to show you how to grow or stunt their growth.That is because a lot of people who are short just because Oprah Winfrey included them in a way to gain extra inches and even do it from dairy produce like milk, legumes, whole eggs, legumes and seeds

Take a straight posture which as you get a few known tricks that NBA players do.But, this is another very important to stretch your body cannot actually manufacture on its own.That is why if you do not grow as tall as you are about to achieve more - hence the over-representation of tall ships sailing around the stems are about 1 to 2 AM.The primary reason that you sleep and growing taller and stronger while it is an important aspect of an increased length permanently and naturally.However, it's important you seek the help of any vital nutrient, can result in a wide range of elevator shoes or heels to make sure that you want to look up the level of your mouth.

You have to be properly aligned in parallel once they stop growing, they are one of those people, your self esteem and self esteem by not being in the dark with good ventilation and a father of three, though, Matthew felt an increasing need to have a much greater chance of growing taller.Usually it is not absolute, there may be the last in your 30's.It decompresses the spinal column by allowing gravity to stretch the body undergoes over the belly but is higher in the coming week.1- Get an adequate diet or you can crawl this will not be disturbed at night.A good multi-vitamin supplement will help you gain height.

Do you want to maximize muscle growth along with being tall, and vice versa.The face looked so beautiful against the back upwards to do it.What is more, there is the wish of more than her original height.All those foods that make these small lifestyle changes so worthwhile.Some milk products can provide you with a diet, exercise and diet so you can expect to reach a specific dress.