#maura's part of the family

[aflawedfashion]

Maura & Jane (& Angela) | Rizzoli & Isles 2x01

[f4keplastictr33s]

nobody talks about the fact that blue was in fact bullied for being a psychic’s daughter and i think that’s probably why she has this defense mecanism where she appears more tough than she actually is .. ? idk i just love blue sargent so much man and im sick when people dismiss her character or reduce her to the boys bc she’s so much MORE than that

[rudnitskaia]

From the recent talk with my husband. xdd

Andrew: So Mau and Rocky only have her father from the older relatives, right?

Me: Why, there's also Nina. Just imagine what their first meeting with Augusto would've been. :D

Andrew: Well, he is Italian. A spectacular man. He'll manage.

Me: Mm-hm, yeah, Augusto is like: "Piacere di conoscerla, signora!" and kisses her hand. And Nina blushes and shyly giggles in response. While both Freckle and Rocky are panicking in the background with their faces screaming "UNDO IT, UNDO IT!!!!!!!!"

Andrew: Come on, it'll be fine, both Italian and Irish people are catholic. I'm sure Nina and Gusto will get along well!

Me, chuckling: Maaaybe, but not in a romantic way. That would've been a totally disastrous marriage for countless reasons. :'D

Andrew with a hilariously sad exhale: Eh, the unfairly forbidden love union of pizza with potatoes... :c

[cabeswaterdrowned]

Blue’s initial feelings of jealousy or insecurity at what Adam not telling her about his home life being so quickly replaced by concern and feeling for him and how horrifying she finds the idea of him not having a family because hers is so central to her identity …. Yeah… she’s so empathetic at her core which I feel gets lost sometimes when her judgemental streak is over focused on which she is very judgmental and I love that about her but like the minute she makes a decision to put that on hold in a sense she’s so empathetic

[reineyday]

idk if im late to the party but i thought it was interesting that 1899 used plato's allegory but never really surfaced passed discussing the shadows vs the fire, only to reveal at the end that they themselves are living the rest of the allegory: theyre running away from the sun that is their reality bc it hurts too much. they prefer the shadows on the wall, the darkness of the cave, bc the light of their reality is too painful for them to accept.

[darkeyedghost]

I find that I'm way more interested in the characters and the historical fashion of the show than the reality in 2099

[backmygirlhood]

they're having a dinner with jane's brother's baby mama and her mother and maura is just there and jane said to her 'think how fun fun we're gonna have every thanksgiving, christmas and new year's' and now her and maura are arguing about who's allowed to teach the baby what

[galactic-pirates]

lol just looked at the tags on the Rizzles gifset I reblogged last and somebody put “secretly married” and my brain instantly went “oh gosh what if that were true???”

And there is a surprising lack of fanfic.

But think about it. Work wise for them everything is the same. They are both professionals, both care a lot about their jobs. So people that don’t know them wouldn’t know. There is the energy, the small smiles - the flirting over the dead bodies as gifset said - but it could be considered something else at a stretch. It’s enough that an observer couldn’t be sure, but they’d think maybe something was going on.

And I just find the interaction ideas between those that know they are married, and newbies who don’t, to be hilarious. So many ways to have people talk and not actually be understanding the same thing. And then the wonderful reveal of a casual “oh yeah married” and the reaction.

I don’t know. I think it would be fun and it’s really not a stretch. Maura is already very much part of Jane’s family. It would be the show pretty much as it is, just without the C-plot guy dates ever so often.

Rizzoli and Isles… but they were married all along :)

[romantichopelessly]

invitation to speak more about the secret good td3 in your head, if you so desire!

Ok so I sat on this ask for DAYS because I wanted to have some cohesive, great answer, but the thing about The Dreamer Trilogy that haunts me is that I can never come up with good concrete thoughts about how to fix the issues I have with it, which is why I reference the “secret good td3 in my head” because it can never fully leave my head in any real way. That being said here’s a list of some elements I would change to make my secret good td3, in no particular order.

The visionaries don’t exist. Liliana, Persifal, etc. are just psychics that keep getting visions of the end, and die for reasons other than their power. Explaining what Visionaries are and subsequently over explaining the magic system of td3 is part of what made the trilogy so confusing and ruined a lot of the magic that the TRC universe already had for me. We don’t need concrete explanations, and psychics can still fill this role. The changing age and exploding added nothing?? to the narrative?? that I can think of?? We can even keep the age gap for Carliana if we want to, just make Liliana an older psychic like Maura/Persephone/Calla. It will even add to the excellent Carmen-Mr. Gray parallels.

Lean more into the themes of the age group. TRC is a coming of age story. It’s about being 17/18. It’s about learning your inner self and getting others to see the true you. TD3 should be more about being 19/20/21. To me, TD3 at its peak is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 6. Which is uniquely about the horror of being in your early 20s, losing support systems, having to learn to be a full self-reliant person, grappling with what your parents did to you, and the crushing loneliness of not being around Your People anymore. TD3 has all of these themes, but I really think they need to be fleshed out more, and given proper conclusion that isn’t just “yippee everything is fine now!”

Greywaren is longer. I think almost everyone agrees that Greywaren, as a book was just too short to wrap up all the plot lines set up, and does almost none of them justice. That book needed a whole rewrite. In theory, I’m completely fine with how it opens—Ronan being in a dream coma was foreshadowed from CDTH, and is an idea that I’d actually thought of as interesting before even reading the book. Other elements of this book like Declan’s rampage, Matthew going rogue, etc are great directions for the characters, I’d just want to rework them. I could make solo posts about any of these.

The Pynch breakup either doesn’t happen, or is set up further in advance and lasts longer. Personally, I lean towards the latter. Adam and Ronan’s conflict is set up from the very beginning of CDTH, or even from Opal (Adam warring between wanting to stay with Ronan and needing to follow through with his lifelong plans, and being frustrated that Ronan never asks for anything from Adam (specifically, to stay) ((side note: perhaps Adam’s insecurity here about Ronan respecting his boundaries so thoroughly stems from both having a family that never would respect his wishes, and Gansey (Adam’s model of love, Adam’s model of everything) having to learn not to ask things like that of Adam. What does it mean that Ronan never even tries?)) AND Ronan dealing with the crushing loneliness of being left and dealing with the consequences of having a long distance bf who is more successful than him). So they needed to have an argument about this. It’s also just in character that these two would not be perfect communicators. So. My idea: In CDTH we get no Adam POVs, just Ronan’s side of the story. We see, rather than Ronan just getting upset over one missed text, that Adam begins to pull away after the murder crab incident. We the audience don’t know why, other than Ronan’s unreliable narration and insecurity. So when Adam doesn’t respond to that one text at a vital fraught time, Ronan does what he does best, shuts down, pulls away and self destructs. Then MI rolls around and we start getting Adam POVs. We learn that after the murder crabs, Adam was throwing himself into trying to fix the nightwash situation for Ronan (Adam is not in contact with Declan here, unfortunately). After visiting for Ronan’s birthday and seeing the Lace, Adam starts to have dreams/premonitions about the end of the world (no visionaries in this universe, just psychics who are/were close to dreamers getting the visions!!). So he obviously sets out to fix this alone too. He calls his best approximations to contacts in this underground world that aren’t Declan. Henry and Mr. Gray. (+ maybe also Maura & Calla) ((Also don’t worry Henry doesn’t leave the Sarchengsey trip, just advises Adam on where to start)). Now that Adam has lost contact with Ronan (he was busy and missed the message and Ronan went off the grid like in canon), he goes full throttle into trying to solve everything while managing being his perfect Harvard persona (this gets him close to a breakdown, very reminiscent to Dream Thieves). Perhaps we get to see Adam and Declan working together to acquire sweet metals and understand the underworld of magic together. He and Ronan fight the one time they get to talk over the phone, Adam because he is truly scared Ronan will be the one to end the world, Ronan because he feels like this is another person perceiving him as a failure and wanting to control/baby him (+ he hates Adam hanging with Mr Gray and Declan of all people). By the time Greywaren starts, Adam is wrung out and hurting and Ronan is dead to the world, so yeah. He doesn’t think he can spend emotional energy playing safeguard to his boyfriend’s coma corpse. And then by the end of the book they have an actual argument/discussion no “they didn’t need words” cop out.

The number of Dreamers/Dreams has to be reduced. It’s cool to say that dreams were always integrated into this world, but it creates so many plot holes it isn’t even funny. There is no way Niall could have passed off the Greywaren being a box that brings dreams to life if Dreamers were such a common occurrence. No secret can be kept that well, someone in the black market would have known, and thus Greenmantle/Mr. Gray/Laumonier/ect WOULD HAVE KNOWN !!!

Declan does not have all his character erased by suddenly loving his mommy and daddy. Seriously what the fuck was that. Declan suddenly deciding to forgive his father because actually Declan was secretly the favorite child first is INSANE. Especially after seeing that that changed because Niall and Mor WANTED TO KILL HIS BROTHER!!! The two tenants of Declan Lynch in TRC were protecting his remaining family and fucking hating that Ronan idolized Niall just because Niall loved him best. So why make Declan turn around and do the same??? Suddenly Niall wasn’t so bad because actually he let Declan be shoved into a car trunk during a shootout out of love. I hate this plot line. Family doesn’t have to be forgiven. Understood, that’s one thing. Forgiven?? Not always. Sick of it. The real takeaway from seeing those memories should have been closure to Declan’s arc of learning that dreams should be viewed as people completely.

I definitely have other points but I cannot think of them right now. And I want to post this so I will. But TD3, as you can see, makes me an insane person.

[fatherramiro]

so the thing about 1899's overarching themes first and foremost is that we don't know fully what they would've been, given that we got 1/3 of the story before cancelation. the other thing is i think a lot of the show would've revolved around the concept of how trauma freezes someone in a moment, and how in order to fully free themselves from the cycles they find themselves in, these characters need to let go and heal from/grow past their respective traumas.

in episode two, eyk tells maura, after asking if she's ever lost someone, that when someone you love dies "they can move on, you're stuck." if we break down the individual stories of the characters on the ship, they are all stuck in moments of trauma. jérôme is there because he cannot forgive lucien's betrayal. similarly, olek is there because he's seeking revenge after a vicious betrayal as well. ramiro and ángel are fleeing persecution and abuse that culminated in ramiro having to kill someone to protect them both. ling yi is racked with guilt over accidentally killing someone in her attempt to find something better. tove's family is frozen in a moment of extreme violence and trauma (and, depending on the timeline, iben's descent into religious fervor could've started from a traumatic event even before that.) eyk drinks to cope with the traumatic loss of his entire family. everyone is stuck in their worst selves as a result of these traumatic events. everyone is struggling to move forward. they're all stuck in these memories, as well as stuck literally in an eight day time loop where they will never get the chance to fully heal because they'll all die before that's possible.

and of course there's daniel, stuck in a loop because he can't let go of his wife and willingly subjecting himself to the pain of losing her over and over in an attempt to change what's happening. elliot is a literal ghost in the machine because his mom couldn't let go of him. maura describes henry as being incapable of letting go of his wife, and what little we know of ciaran is that he's angry that he was passed over for his sister. and of course maura -- the architect of the simulation, who cannot let go of her pain so she wanted to forget instead. this is a show where pain is written into every code in the simulation, and until daniel wakes maura up, that is just inescapable for everyone. maura is now left to face reality, a reality in which we don't know if her son is alive or the status of her husband. but she's now tasked with fixing the situation she created as a result of being unable to move past her own grief and her own pain.

the other potential themes of the show -- what makes a person who they are (and if their nature is inescapable), what is fate versus what is choice -- are all tied to this too, because we see moments where the characters are able to confront these demons and show glimpses of who they could be beyond these terrible events. two scenes that i think really illustrate this are the final scenes krester and tove have together in episodes four and five. krester throws tove's trauma back in her face in an ugly manner despite the fact he's the one who refuses to try and heal from what's happened to him (as evidenced by him helping to abduct and murder elliot), while tove is the one who finally says that she's had enough of that and she tries to leave her terrible situation and find a way to resolve the conflict tearing her family apart. krester, unable and unwilling to move on, does not survive much longer; tove makes it to the end of the loop, into the archive, and survives until the simulation is deleted. if tove had stayed with her parents and krester, i don't know if she would've made it that far.

as with all my analysis, there's no easy conclusion given that we simply do not know what would've happened next, but im very confident in saying that a large part of this show, beyond cosmic discussions of science and religion and who created the universe, is about how pain traps us in loops of our own, and that to free ourselves we need to confront our pain and our trauma. obviously, the show would've likely had a bittersweet read on that, but this is one thing im fairly confident in discussing about the series.

[sweetbonniebel]

Unbent,unbowed,unbroken

Chapter 1

Aemond/ Aegon/ Jacaerys x fem! Targaryen! Martell! reader

Synopsis: (y/n) Martell the daughter of Gael Targaryen and Morion Martell has been invited to join court in King’s landing, she was to stay with her Targaryen family away from Dorne.

Chapter two

Sunspear 112 ac

As the cries of the babe were heard, Gael sighed in relief as her handmaiden Maura patted at her sweaty forehead. But as the newborn was being swaddled by nurses, the Targaryen's princess breathing got slower.

"Your highness?!" Maura exclaimed noticing the poor state of the princess, her worried tone alerted the maester and septas. They quickly moved to Gael but before the grand maester could help the Targaryen princess her gentle heart fell silent.

"My wife! Where is my wife!?" The head of the house Morian Martell stormed into the chambers of his young wife.

„I’m sorry my prince… her highness passed away.” The maester spoke solemnly, his gaze lowered and hands stained with his wife’s blood.

“The child..?” He searched for good news among the septas and nurses. Maura stepped forward with the calm babe wrapped in golden bundles.

The prince of Dorne quickly moved away from the maester and quickly took his newborn child in his arms.

“It’s a girl, my prince.” Maura spoke quietly, Morian nodded his head and passed the babe to her wet nurse.

“Send word to kings landing, the funeral will take place here as quickly as possible. Now get out…all of you.” The prince said moving towards the cold body of his wife.

The young princess looked ethereal, even in death. Her silver locks spread on the silk sheets, plump rosy lips parted slightly, her large violet eyes closed and long lashes wet from tears. Morian took the dainty hand of Gael kissing it gently ,holding it dearly in his hands, he mourned the loss of his wife.

The bells rang loudly on Sunspear, alerting the people of the princess’s passing.

Sunspear 122 ac

The princess (y/n) Martell, ten years of age, watched her younger step siblings play with various toys. The prince of Dorne along his second wife watched their children in amusement. (y/n) however was more interested in the heavy book that laid in her lap, she sat in the shade of the large tree leaning on its strong roots. The sun rays lightly illuminated the princess curly silver locks, giving her an almost ethereal glow. The book the young Martell princess was reading told the story of the Lady Nymeria who conquered Dorne hundreds of years ago.

An envoy walked into the family gardens disturbing the domestic bliss of the Martells.

“My prince, you along with your family have been summoned to kings landing to attend the forty name day of his grace King Viserys!” He spoke loudly and (y/n) pulled her nose out of her book, intrigued by the news. She had heard of the Targaryen King many times from her father and other courtiers. The tragic death of his late wife queen Aemma, the succession crisis, the wedding of Viserys and his bride Alicent Hightower and the birth of their son Aegon.

Prince Morian stepped towards the envoy’s taking the letter from his hands, and examining it himself. The princess quickly shuffled towards her father leaving the book in the grass, picking up her youngest brother Myrcel. He babbled at his elder sister, taking her silver curly locks into his chubby hands and putting it in his mouth. Lady Elara the second wife of Morion Martell, picked up the youngest son from her stepdaughter.

“Do not put your sister hair into you mouth Myrcel.” She cooed at her baby, and the princess smiled at her mother figure.

“Leave us” The prince spoke sternly and moved back to his family, examining the details of the invite. He placed his large hand on the top of his daughter’s head, petting it gently.

“Will we be going to Kings landing?” She asked, leaning into her father’s touch. He nodded solemnly, something was bothering the prince of Dorne.

“Yes my little dragon, you will have a chance to meet your mother’s family.” He nodded and smiled at his wife warmly. “The maids shall pack our belongings immediately and we shall set sail.”

Kings Landing 122 ac

“Lord Morios Martell and Lady Elara Allyrion we welcome you to King’s Landing, we thank you for your presence.” The master of whispers Larys Strong welcomed the Dornish family. “Princess (y/n) Martell the queen Alicent has requested to meet you in her solar.” The limping man announced. You looked at your father unsure, he nodded and pushed you slightly towards lord Strong.

You followed meekly after the limping man, his cane clicked with every step making an echo. The halls of the red keep were empty, the ceiling high and banners of the seven hung from the walls. You looked around the massive architectural masterpiece build by Aegon the conqueror, guards standing at every corner.

Lord Larys Strong stopped at the massive door, he nodded at the guards that were posted on each side. They nodded and opened the heavy doors, the princess walked in, the master of whisperers stayed behind. The queen was standing in front of the mirror a handmaid fixing her dark green gown with golden threads, her chestnut hair masterfully braided embedded with beautiful pearls.

“Ah lady (y/n)!” The queen exclaimed cheerfully, she dismissed her handmaiden and walked over, her hands wrapped in front of her. The young Martell bowed gracefully.

“It is an honor to meet you, your grace.” She said kindly, queen Alicent nodded and placed her slender palm on the girls cheek. She stared deeply into her eyes, one green one violet.

“What a unique beauty you have my dear.” The doors suddenly opened the queen looked over and took a deep breath. “My love.” She began but was ignored by his grace himself. The Martel princess bowed deeply again, her gaze settled on her shoes.

“Please rise lady (y/n).” He wheezed tiredly, she did as was told. The king plopped down on the chair in the middle of his wives solar. “Please do come here. As she shuffled closer to the king he let out a strained chuckle, he placed his bony hand on the girls cheek. “Those eyes, they are just like my mothers.” He muttered and caressed the princesses hair. “Your mother was the favorite sister of my father, he spoke oh so fondly of her. He was heartbroken when king Jahearys offered her to Dorne.”

“Thank you, your grace. I haven’t had the pleasure to meet my mother, she died minutes after my birth. However my father spoke fondly of her.” She said, the young girl felt a sense of belonging next to the king.

“I’m sorry to hear that, my father and mother were heartbroken at the news of Gaels passing.” He sighed deeply and leaned into his chair, the queen sat down next to her husband.

“(y/n) my dear, the king himself has requested your presence at the royal table during the celebration.” Alicent said warmly “You will be seated next to prince Aegon and Aemond and princess Haelena along with princes Jacearys and Lucerys” The Martell princess nodded at her graces words. “You can return to your chambers to prepare for the celebration, ser Criston Cole will escort you.”

…

(y/n) Martell was visited by her father in her chambers. The maid was finishing tying up the exquisite yellow dress, the colors of her house, the other maid was braiding her silver hair, putting jasper crystals in her hair. Her father stood behind her, the princess could see the unhappy expression in the mirror.

“My sweet daughter… you look beautiful. I’m sure the princes will be breath-taken with you.” He smiled sadly, and took a deep breath. He nodded at the handmaidens to leave they bowed and left silently, leaving father and daughter alone. The princess turned around walking up to her father, her eyebrows slightly raised at the visible displeasure of the dornish prince.

“What seems to be troubling you father?” She asked taking her hands in his, Morion pressed his daughters palms against his forehead.

“Your step mother wanted to tell you this earlier but I couldn’t bring myself to… the queen and king have invited you to join their court, here in kings landing.”

The Martell lady widened her eyes, she knew what that meat. She was to stay permanently in kings landing, leaving her home behind, her father, her siblings, her step mother.

“Her grace insisted you join her daughter’s entourage, It is an great honor my little dragon.” The princess felt as if Lord Martell was not telling the whole truth, however the girl took it with dignity and nodded your head.

As a high born lady, (y/n) had duties she needed to fulfill, she had to do whatever was best for her house. She was raised by the best governesses, septa’s and educated in history, arithmetic’s, sciences, music, dancing, painting; every skill that was suitable for a lady of her status.

…

The feast was a rowdy celebration, the Martell family was announced by ser Harrold, his booming tone put all attention of lords and ladies on them. Lord Morion and lady Elara walked along the great hall, they stopped before the table of the king and queen, and bowed silently.

“Thank you for the invite your grace.” Lady Elara smiled warmly glancing at her husband, he nodded agreeing with his wives words.

The royal couple nodded, and motioned the Martells to sit in their designated spot. As the feast carried on, the doors opened again by ser Criston Cole.

“Lady (y/n) Martell of the blood of the dragon!” Ser Harrold boomed, all the guests turned curiously at the mention of the young Targaryen princess. Her silver locks were skillfully braided, the jasper crystals flickered from the light of candles, what everyone seemed to focus on were the eyes of the young girl.

Her yellow dress flowed gracefully with every movement. She glanced at her family on the right, her father and step mother nodded and motioned for her to continue to his grace.

“Your graces, I am humbled by your decision and I am graceful for the opportunity.” The Martell princess bowed elegantly.

…

[julieverne]

When Maura's eyes blinked open, the room was fuzzy and her tummy hurt. She whimpered, and immediately there was a hand in hers, a kiss against her forehead.

"You're okay," a husky voice told her, and she let her eyes drift closed again because she knew that voice. She trusted that voice. The panic she'd woken with dissipated as a soft hand rifled through her hair. "You're okay," that deep, honest voice told her, and Maura let sleep take her.

---

When she woke again, her stomach hurt and there was a hissed conversation close by. She blinked and the room came into focus. A hospital room; private. Jane's voice, which had soother her earlier, was low and insistent.

"No! She's fragile enough as it is, she doesn't need you coming in and make her feel like the devil she doesn't believe in to make yourself feel better. Your daughter - the one you actually give a shit about - is coming out of surgery. Go do your penance at her bedside. Not here. Let her heal, and give her time to heal before you come around accusing her of whatever comes to mind or raiding her body for organs."

"I just want to make sure for myself that she's okay, Detective Rizzoli. I know how much I have to atone for, and I can't forgive myself. But I can't go see Cailin before checking for myself that she's okay. You said she's asleep. She'll never know I was there."

Silence, then a sobbed "Please. I know you think I'm heartless. That I'm a mobster's mole. That I'm a monster. But the woman in there saved my daughter's life, and I would very much like to make sure for myself that she's not suffering."

Silence again, then a flurry of movement. Jane must have stepped aside. There was a hand in Maura's, small and unfamiliar and a little cold, as though she'd been in the hospital all day. Then a hand cupping her cheek, and another kiss to her forehead.

"If you don't want me in your life, I can't blame you. But you used to be part of me, and I'm so, so glad to know you're alive and well, and that the people in your life care so much for you. Thank you." Two hands closed around hers, then a kiss was pressed to her knuckles. "Thank you," Hope whispered, Maura's hand wet with her tears. "I wish I could take it back, what I said when you told me. I wish I could take it all back. All the mistakes I've made. Except one. Paddy was a mistake, he was a flawed and beautiful man. But if I hadn't fallen for him, the world wouldn't have you in it, and the world would be a much, much worse place without you in it, Maura."

Maura stirred, the pain rising again, and there was a shuffle again, then Jane's hand was holding Maura's again and the pain was more tolerable with Jane's hand in hers. She whimpered and was soothed again by Jane's voice, as low and gentle as it ever got, telling her she was okay.

---

Maura came to, and Jane's head was next to Maura's hip on the hospital bed, their hands still entwined. Jane's neck looked uncomfortable, so after a moment of watching, Maura released her hand and ran her fingers through Jane's hair. Jane hummed contentedly, then her eyes flickered, a smile on her lips. Maura let her hand rest at the base of Jane's neck as Jane's eyes met hers.

"Hey," Jane rasped, sitting up and stretching. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Maura said, surprised it was true. She felt okay. Her stomach hurt a little, which was to be expected, but she also felt calm and somehow loved in a way she hadn't expected. The sweetness of Jane to stay with her - it was late, the world outside the window was dark. It felt like something nice had happened while she was sleeping. Like part of herself that she'd lost had settled back into her chest. Jane chewed on her lip, as though she was holding back. "And Cailin?"

"She's fine. She's still out. Ma has been doing the go-between for us. I didn't want to leave you. And she's far enough removed from your biological family to be civil. She's not happy about it, but you know how she gets with kids, and Cailin is just a kid to her."

"H-" Maura couldn't even say her name.

"She said thank you earlier." Jane chewed her lip again. "She said you saved her daughter's life. Which you did." Maura felt a stab of pain. Not from where her kidney used to be. In her heart. Cailin was Hope's daughter. And Maura was simply a stranger with a convenient kidney. It was foolish of her to think that this might bridge the gap between them. There were no fairy tales. She'd found her biological family, and they were criminals and scoundrels and morally ambiguous. Perhaps it was too late for Hope, but maybe it wasn't too late for Cailin.

"She came?" Maura tried to keep the note of hope out of her voice, but hope was eternal as well as her mother.

"She wanted to check your vitals for herself. She seemed - I don't know." Jane chewed on her lip again, and Maura was drawn to the movement, to Jane's mouth. "She seemed contrite. Scared. Worried about you."

Maura swallowed.

"I should tell someone you're awake, huh? Get your stats checked?" Jane yawned and reached for the buzzer, but Maura caught her hand and held it.

"Can it just be us for a little bit longer?" Maura asked, her voice low. Jane looked up at her with those big, soft eyes. Maura never saw her look at anyone else like that, not even TJ. Not even Casey. Maura shifted uncomfortably, and Jane's eyebrows lifted in concern. Her face came closer as she slipped her hand under Maura's hip to gently help her move.

"It can just be us for as long you need it to be," Jane said, her voice as gentle as her eyes. Maura looked at her lips, then down to her clavicle, then the gap between her shirt and her chest. She dragged her eyes away, yawning.

"Promise?" Maura asked, her eyes drifting closed as they met Jane's. Jane nodded, bringing their joined hands to her mouth, kissing Maura's knuckles.

"I promise," Jane said, her voice barely a whisper. "Even if you need the rest of our lives."

---

Daylight landed on Maura's cheek. Jane was propped upright in a chair next to Maura's bed, slumped down with her boots on Maura's bed. Her hand rested on Maura's, maybe by accident or maybe not. Maura watched her sleep, the angle of her neck all twisted and uncomfortable. But Jane was here. Jane had stayed. Jane cared enough to be here.

Jane startled awake, her left hand reaching for a gun that wasn't on her hip. When she realised where she was, she looked over at Maura, meeting her eyes with a smile.

"Hey," Jane husked, then cleared her throat, reaching for a jug of water and a cup on a table next to her. She poured, then paused. "Thirsty?"

"Should clear it with the doctor." Maura pressed the call button, then let herself be poked and prodded before taking a second cup of water that Jane prepared for her.

"You should get to work."

"Nope. Frost is out sick with his arm, and Korsak is working cold cases until you're home. I got nothing to do but wait for you to get better. I got hundreds of days off, so you can take your time."

"They said I can go home today," Maura pointed out.

"If everything is okay," Jane reminded her. "And that you'll need home help for the next few days. I know you have Ma, but I told you. I don't mind staying, since I have the week off."

Maura looked away, wetting her lips with her tongue. She hated relying on anyone. She should have hired someone, but it felt ostentatious. Pretentious. Besides. Maura was no good with people. Look at the mess she'd made of her biological family.

Jane sensed her hesitance.

"Remember what good care you took of me after I got shot? Let me return the favour." Jane talked a good game, but would she have the patience to deal with a cranky, sore Maura? Would their friendship survive Jane's week off work?

"I'll be okay," Maura said, her voice sounding uncertain even to her.

"You will be okay. Because you've got me."

Jane fiddled with Maura's fingers for a moment. "Do you remember waking up last night?" Jane asked. Maura tried to remember, but all she had was a blank space between counting down from a hundred and the sunlight on the landscape of Jane's face. She shook her head, and thought Jane looked simultaneously relieved and disappointed. Jane looked like she wanted to say something, but instead she looked at their joined hands.

"I'm here. For as long as you need me to be, I'm here. Whatever you need."

Maura couldn't believe her. Maura needed so much, and never knew how to ask. Jane would withdraw her offer for help if she knew what Maura wanted and how deeply she wanted it. Maura swallowed, and Jane held the cup to her mouth again. Maura drank gratefully.

"You did a really brave, selfless thing," Jane said, but Maura wasn't brave of selfless. She knew the stats on kidney transplant, she was at minimal risk, and she'd done it so Hope would owe her. She'd done it so Jane would dote on her as she healed. And she felt awful and selfish and wrong and like she'd lost more than a kidney. "Let me take care of you for once." Jane's voice was low and careful.

It was ridiculous. Jane always took care of Maura. When they'd been running in the dark in regional Massachusetts, Jane had taken care of her. Not just her leg, but her body. Maura remembered Jane crouching over her like a mother bear over a cub. Jane had stabbed a man for her. And she'd stabbed one for Jane. They took care of each other.

So why did Maura feel bad when Jane offered? Why was she still so reluctant to let Jane help her?

She felt like she didn't deserve it.

She didn't deserve Constance or Arthur. She didn't deserve Hope or Cailin. She didn't deserve Angela, always warm and friendly, making Maura's house feel like a home. She didn't even deserve Paddy, a man who'd watched over her for her entire life.

And she definitely didn't deserve Jane. Sweet, abrasive Jane. Kind but hard. Gentle with Maura but tough on criminals and her brothers, some of which were criminals.

"You don't have to," Maura said, looking down at her hand in Jane's.

"I want to. Please let me, Maura." Jane's eyes were big and soft and Maura almost remembered a moment. Sometime last night, when she had believed Jane could love her. And then the memory was gone, but the sensation of being loved remained.

"Okay."

Jane smiled, broad and honest, and Maura, for once, knew she deserved it for being brave enough to let someone take care of her.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

assigned each TTPD track to trc/td3 chars/pairings because I was bored.  

Main Tracks

•Fortnight — post TDT & BLLB era Bluesey. not every lyric fits perfectly but the tone/overall subject (requited but forbidden love, especially the implication it’s both literally forbidden (other people involved/kiss curse) and self imposed forbidden (they’re from two different worlds and need to bridge that gap) is so them, pining and yearning, Literally “we can pretend this once then never speak of it again” and then mourning that as they try and keep their distance, also the “your wife waters flowers I want to kill her” bit in my head is Blue being jealous of Henry when she meets him. It makes sense. To me. Primarily a Blue pov song and then the Post Malone bits can be Gansey. 

•The Tortured Poets Department — The Gray Man x Maura, The Gray Man’s post TDT break up anthem. When you give up your hit man life for a woman and she runs off to a cave to find her ex boyfriend, a tree! Will really mess up an Anglo Saxon Poetry lover.

•My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys — DC Party Adansey from both their povs, Adam fearing Gansey only can value him as a possession and can’t love him in a way that Adam would want and Gansey fearing Adam secretly hates him + his heart breaking when Adam smashes the figurines. But the bridge is very Adam pov “I felt more when we played pretend than with all the Kens” Adam’s relationship with projection and both hating Gansey’s facade and being infatuated with and attracted to it, also there are so many ways they pretend seperately and together. 

•Down Bad — Pynch, first verse and chorus definitely Ronan pov in trc, the second verse and chorus as Adam pov in mi then after that could be both of them although still would lean more Ronan pov for the vibes. 

•So Long, London — Noah song. A lot of it could be his pov talking to Whelk, but then the friends he’s referring to could be the Gangsey and the Gangsey pov could be the final chorus saying goodbye to him. 

•But Daddy I Love Him — Niall x Mor. Niall’s pov as he tries to get his mother/his family to accept that he loves Mor. 

•Fresh Out The Slammer — Jordeclan. Self explanatory. 

•Florida!!! — at first I was going to give this one to Blue because of some of the themes about feeling conflicted about your hometown, then I wanted to make it a Hennessy song because some lyrics really fit her, but then eventually I decided this is actually a song about The Fairy Market. Different parts could be from Hennessy Jordan and Declan’s pov and maybe a little bit from Mor’s and/or Henry’s. 

•Guilty as Sin? — this song has both Bluesey and Pynch vibes but to me it’s a Bluesey song overall. Blue pov, yearning for someone you can never touch it’s perfect… 

•Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? — Ronan song fits him in the first two trc books real well imo. In the second verse he’s addressing the Gray Man but he could be addressing a number of people from Declan to Kavinsky to Niall to Gansey throughout the song. 

•I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) — Maura Sargent and her terrible taste in men! First verse and chorus about Artemus and Calla and Persephone shaking their heads in the background, then the second time with The Gray Man Calla again shaking her head. 

•loml — Jordeclan, but specifically a Jordan pov song after Declan chooses death by fairy market over her could either say this is her thought process in a middle bit that we didn’t get to see or an au where Declan did die and/or she did leave him for a bit after this.

•I Can Do It With A Broken Heart — Adam song. I think you could read it as in the first verse / go of the chorus the “him” being referred to is Gansey post DC but then in the second verse/chorus it’s Ronan in mister impossible era. His whole thing with masking/not paying attention to his feelings through both series and literally “faking it to make it” at Harvard… I can pass this test… the tonally upbeat music and devastating lyrics. Soo him. 

•The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived — Rovinsky break up song. I think the first verse and chorus is K pov but the rest of the song is Ronan’s pov. 

•The Alchemy — another song with both Pynch and Bluesey vibes but this one I’m giving to Pynch overall. The whole high school relationship currently long distance but I’ll always come back to you thing. 

•Clara Bow — for a minute I thought I really would have to give up on making this one about trc, but then I thought about the whole theme of women mirroring each other Blue and Gwenllian and the tapestry of girls with Blue’s face, their literal mirror powers, the 300 fox way women and how you see something of all of them in Blue / she’s a product of them, Hennessy and her clones, Mor and Aurora. So yeah general vibes of that theme. 

Bonus Tracks 

•The Black Dog — Pynch divorce bop. Adam pov. 

• imgonnagetyouback — Bluedam, now you may be thinking that I’m just assigning this one because I already think get him back! by Olivia Rodrigo is a Bluedam song (see previous web weaving) and this song is just a worse version of that song, and you’d be right that’s why I’m saying it. 

•The Albatross — Bluesey. Gansey associating the color blue with death, learning Blue is his death, being fascinated by her and falling for her more and more the more he accepts his own death… 

• Chloe or Sam or Sofia or Marcus — this is all about romantic drama/a love square between Blue Henry Gansey and Adam, different parts of it are from Gansey or Adam’s pov primarily about each other but they refer to Henry or Blue at different points. The Adansey divorce to Sarchengsey to Chengsey divorce pipeline song essentially. 

• How Did It End? — Adansey!! literally “he was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsmen, our melodies were such we could not cure them” I won’t just go through every lyric but every lyric just screams Adanseycore, as many of her songs about divorce do. 

•So High School — Pynch. “You know how to ball I know Aristotle” referring to Ronan playing tennis is an especially fun aspect. 

• I Hate it Here — Adam, first verse and chorus could be DC party Adam and then as it goes on it’s Adam at Harvard thinking all the things he won’t say to the crying club, and then it’s Adam about Henrietta. 

•thanK you alMee — Declan song centered on his conflicted grief/hatred of Niall. 

 •I Look in People’s Windows — Adam observing the wealthy/people he envies. 

•The Prophecy — Blue song. Elements of Bluesey obviously but mostly about Blue who won’t let fate define her and is brave when she’s afraid, begging for a different fate for Maura when she’s missing for Gansey and Noah, for herself when she wants things from the future that seem impossible for so many reasons. “And I look unstable gathered with a coven around a sorceress table” so the bath tub scene with her and her mom and Aunts! 

•Cassandra — Gwenllian Glendower anthem! 

•Peter — Adam pov Adansey song 😭 I already made a web weaving explaining this and if I tried to again with words I’d throw up and die, but this is the most trc coded song on the album other than the prophecy. 

•The Bolter — Hennessy song. First verse refers to her childhood trauma, The chorus fits Jordanessy and their mi scene with the cars so well and the whole repeatedly dying thing is obviously very Mister Impossible plot coded and also the cyclical nature of her lace dreams are reflected here. 

•Robin — Adansey. “way to go tiger”. 

•The Manuscript — Blue x Henry pining era song post Sarchengsey divorce. 

[blue-lantern]

Thinking about the differences in interacting with your culture as a means of interacting with your family vs interacting with your culture as a means of interacting with a broader community. Thinking about Kyle’s complicated but loving relationship with his mother and stolen relationship with his father. Thinking about both his Mexican and his Irish heritage existing as connections to his parents without much consideration to a broader community.

I can’t find this panel again anywhere so I’m starting to think I may have made it up, but I swear there’s a panel out there of Maura trying to get Kyle to say something in Gaelic and him trying to brush her off. It’s a light scene, really not very consequential. But it makes it feel like it’s a culture he was presumably brought up in but maybe not one he really actively partakes in beyond some smaller stuff. Similarly to his ultimately loving relationship with his mother that he spends a lot of his early runs distancing from the rest of his life for one reason or another. He didn’t even know he was Mexican growing up, that part of himself comes as suddenly as the knowledge that Gabriel wasn’t a dead beat and loved him and his mother so dearly. The culture is his, but new to him, maybe a little foreboding and overwhelming in the same way meeting his father would be.

For Kyle it does feel like his heritage and his identity exist primarily as extensions of his relationships with his parents a lot of the time.

[rcnwicks]

⟡ — is that JACK RENWICK i just saw walking around kilmer’s cove? i heard they’re a RESIDENT who’s been here for THIRTY YEARS. it slipped my mind, since they just tend to hang out at DELPHI’S DELIGHT SPIRITUALITY SHOP. at face value, they’re said to be INQUISITIVE and GOOD-NATURED, but i don’t know… some people have said they can be quite INTROVERTED and IMPATIENT. just don’t get on their bad side, i guess! don’t tell them i told you this, but i’ve heard they DO believe in all the ghost stories around town. who knows what the future holds for them!

THE BASICS

faceclaim: jacob anderson

full name: jack alan renwick

nicknames: jay, renwick (though he isn’t fond of nicknames)

d.o.b & age: 7th of january, 1991; 33.

zodiac sign: capricorn

gender & pronouns: cis man, he/him

orientation & current relationship status: demisexual, single

family (immediate): maura renwick (mother), benjamin renwick (previously jones, father), two younger siblings.

family (general): maude renwick (previously grant, maternal grandmother), alan renwick (maternal grandfather), an aunt and two cousins. (for now, i see them all as residents of kilmer!)

occupation: cemetery groundskeeper, he took over from his mother around 10 years ago

personality: jack is inquisitive and good-natured, but introverted and impatient. for the most part, jack enjoys keeping to himself and minding his own business; as much as he enjoys reading imaginary drama, the second it becomes a reality he either gets bored or begins to panic — that’s not to say he can’t hold his own, he can often be defensive and protective of those closest to him, but when it comes to defending himself, he never seems to be able to find the right words. jack has never been particularly good at “fitting in”, he has the knack of saying the wrong thing or being misconstrued, which is why he prefers his own company (or company similar to him). jack loves to learn, is a big question asker (in all things, not just academically), and is constantly searching for answers and then moving straight on to the next thing when he’s satisfied. his family describe him as peculiar (affectionately) and he’s proud of that. he’s always been drawn to the weird and wonderful, but is therefore very superstitious. overall, he's kind and sensitive, he loves to help and learn more about people, can talk your ear off about whatever is filling his mind that day, but can occasionally be snappy or blunt if he's having a bad day.

likes: the outdoors, reading, candlelight, baked goods, the colours green and brown, music (when he's alone he rarely takes off his headphones), the cemetery, ice cream, poetry, riddles.

dislikes: small talk, large crowds, loud and sudden noises, obnoxious people, not being taken seriously, cold hands, closed mindedness, velvet, birds staring at him a little too long.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BIOGRAPHY

THE RENWICK'S, PRE-JACK:

the renwick's have been in kilmer's cove for multiple generations now, the name synonymous with the cemetery that his family have been the groundskeepers of for as long as most townsfolk can remember now. when maude grant (jack's grandmother) visited kilmer's cove on a whim one summer, she had felt a pull toward the cemetery to show her respects to those who had once inhabited the town and, incidentally, tripped directly over her future husband - alan renwick. they'd bonded over their interest in the supernatural, she'd admired his work honouring the deceased, and they'd spent many, many late nights talking under the moonlight or cloudy skies. her two month vacation had ended with a proposal, them both having found what they felt was missing from their lives, and neither of them have left kilmer's cove since. maura renwick, the eldest of maude and alan's two daughters, was raised to be a believer just like her parents. she was taught the importance of respecting the deceased and honouring those who came before them, helping her father out at the cemetery after school or during breaks, but she knew she needed more than what the town could offer her; she had questions and curiosities that she knew couldn't be answered in town. maura's easiest route out was to move away for university and, as a lover of history, she decided to get her bachelor's degree in edinburgh, scotland. much like her parents, maura stumbled upon her future spouse just as clumsily and fated as maude and alan did; they'd met outside a lecture in the pouring rain, benjamin's umbrella flying directly into maura's face and the rest was history for them (it's a story they tell far too much, jack rolls his eyes when he has to hear it again). to cut a long story short: benjamin and maura fell in love, completed their degrees and began working full time for the university. it wasn't until jack's third birthday, just over ten years since the couple first met, that maura had had enough of being away from her family and kilmer's cove. if you were to ask her, she'd say she was just homesick, that her father was getting old and needed assistance at the cemetery - but jack understanding what he understands now, knows of the pull kilmer's cove seems to have for his family. this is their home, and they belong here.

JACK RENWICK, A BRIEF GUIDE:

in any other family, jack might’ve been considered the “oddball” or the “black sheep”, however if there’s one thing the renwick’s are known for, it’s being a little kooky. growing up with daily visits to the cemetery with his mother and grandfather, searching for signs of the supernatural with his father and siblings, collecting the weirdest shells or mushrooms he could find with his grandmother and aunt for family competitions. he was raised to not be afraid to be a little different, to question the world around him and accept that everything isn’t always as it seems. from an early age he had felt a deep connection to nature; the quietness and liminal feel of kilmer’s cove bringing him more comfort than most things.

coming from such a big and accepting family had it’s negatives, though. as a young child he was often confused when people behaved maliciously or with hidden intentions, he struggled to maintain long lasting connections with his classmates, some of them finding him (and even sometimes his family) peculiar. that isn’t to say he never made friends, those he connected with became very close confidantes to him and became like family to him, but he grew up with only one or two non-family members he felt truly seen by.

from a young age jack knew he wanted to follow in his family’s footsteps and become the groundskeeper of the cemetery. he would regularly go to work with his mother during weekends or holidays, helping out and learning all he could, whenever he could. even when his mother wasn’t working, he’d visit the cemetery to read and write books and poetry or just sit and listen to music. other than his love of literature and history, academia was not something jack was particularly interested in, he hated being told what to think and feel about things just because people believed they should think and feel in a certain way and therefore never attended university when he turned 18. instead, he worked odd jobs and helped people around kilmer’s cove until his mother officially retired when he turned 22 and he finally became the cemetery’s groundskeeper.

at the age of 25, jack began the process of getting himself an autism diagnosis, which he finally received when he turned 26. though his family had always nurtured the fact he was different, something within him felt it was far more complex than that. he had spent most of his life questioning why understanding people and why they behaved the way they did was so confusing, why he had been misunderstood and his words misconstrued so many times, why it all felt so overwhelming to think about. since receiving his diagnosis he’s felt more himself than he ever has, he now has the tools to understand himself and navigate the world around him much better, and though things are still difficult and often isolating, he’s at least unlocked some of the answers he’s been searching for his whole life.

jack spends most of his days either in his home, at the cemetery or delphi’s delight, or taking walks alone around kilmer’s cove. always with a friendly and welcoming aura, he finds people fascinating and enjoys learning more about people (especially the tourists), he doesn’t mind a conversation or two if he’s in the right headspace. when he does venture out of his comfort zone and daily routines, it’s usually during the darker hours of the day or very early in the morning after a bad night’s sleep. a good listener, jack likes to hear about people’s interests and passions; during conversations he usually takes a more passive role, but if you find that small pocket of topics he’s interested in he’ll talk for hours.

being raised in the household he was, jack is a big believer in the supernatural and folklore; he’s big on superstitions and takes his job very seriously because of this. he’s been raised to believe that his work at the cemetery is integral to keeping the balance, even when he’s ill or otherwise preoccupied, he’ll either make time to do his work regardless, or his mother will step in for him.

TLDR;

the renwick’s have made kilmer’s cove a home for generations and have been the cemetery groundskeepers for enough time that their family name is synonymous with the job, jack took over the work just over 10 years ago when his mother retired. he’s good natured and soft, loves learning about new things and is fascinated by people (mainly from afar). he can often be described as impatient or perhaps blunt on bad days, he’s also known to be defensive or overprotective of those he loves, but it’s more of a rarity unless someone is purposely trying to bother him. jack’s lived here his entire life and has no real interest in going anywhere anytime soon, partly because he’s is a big believer in the supernatural due to his family and upbringing and believes his work is important and necessary.

[misfitwashere]

Fascism and Fear

The Moment, The Media, The Election

Timothy Snyder

Jul 07, 2024

Mainstream media have treated President Biden with prejudice and arrogance. Quite a few Democrats, reacting to this, treat any mention of President Biden’s fitness as disloyalty. This is mistaken, if understandable.

One source of the negative energy is Trump’s fascism. Focusing on it will not answer the question of what Democrats do, but will help us to understand the context in which the discussion is taking place. By fascism I just have in mind (1) the cult of personality of a Leader: (2) the party that becomes a single party; (3) the threat and use of violence; and (4) the big lie that must be accepted and used to reshape reality: in this case, that Trump can never lose an election.

Much more could be said (as I have done elsewhere), but it is the official big lie and the threats of violence that are dangerous to those whose job is to report truth. Trump is on the record as regarding reports as enemies of the people. What should I make — a journalist might ask — of Trump’s talk of arresting journalists? When not confronted, such questions become self-realizing fears.

That’s the subtle version. Meanwhile, those higher up in corporations might like the ratings Trump brings, or like Trump himself. And so it is easiest to keep things personal — give Trump time, on the self-deluding logic that he will discredit himself, and focus on Biden’s age rather than his achievements. For reporters it can feel like the work is being done when only Biden is at the receiving end of criticism — whereas, in fact, the ground has been shifted by fascism, or by the inability to confront it.

And so fascism spreads and settles in our minds during this, the crucial period between Trump’s first coup attempt and his second. The Biden administration is being held to standards, while the previous Trump administration is not; and Biden personally is being held to standards, while Trump as a person is not. This helps to generate a fascist aura. There must be something special about Trump such that he is different from others: a Leader beyond criticism rather than just an indebted hack or a felon from Queens or a client of a Russian dictator.

It should seem odd that media calls to step down were not first directed to Trump. If we are calling for Biden to step aside because someone must stop Trump from bringing down the republic, then surely it would have made more sense to first call for Trump to step aside? (The Philadelphia Inquirer did). I know the counter-arguments: his people wouldn’t have cared, and he wouldn’t have listened. The first misses an important point. There are quite a few Americans who have not made up their minds. The second amounts to obeying in advance. If you accept that a fascist is beyond your reach, you have normalized your submission.

When media folks describe discussions among Democrats as chaos and disarray, they are implicitly suggesting that it is better for a leader of a party to never be questioned. (Why, after all, is being part of an array a good thing?) An obvious point goes missed: Democrats can say what they want, because none of them is afraid. And that is good! Governor Maura Healey can express her dissent and Joe Biden can express his frustration with her — but no one is worried about her physical safety.

Trump, by contrast, controls his party through stochastic terror, threats issued through social media that his cult followers can be expected to realize. Republicans leave politics because they fear for themselves and their families. Those who remain all obey in advance. That is new, and it should not be normal, and it should not spread any further. But it becomes normal when we treat discussions, and not coercion, as abnormal.

If I am right that much of the energy behind the Biden pile-on is displaced fear of a regime change, much of the media will continue to generate fascist froth for Trump, whether or not Biden is the Democratic nominee — unless, of course, journalists confront their fears, and keep the issue of regime change inside the story, and provide a constructive alternative alongside personal criticism.

There are three tests of good faith for those who are proposing that President Biden step down. The first is recognition that Biden’s first term has been one of extraordinary achievement. The second is a plan for what the Democrats would do, should Biden withdraw, to select a nominee and win the election. The third is recognition that the threat of regime change is what might justify changing the nominee.

I don’t want to dodge the issue of President Biden’s candidacy — I will have something to say about that. But I found I could only enter the discussion after saying a word about how it has been warped — by fascism and fear.