#im rereading btw and going crazy as you may see

[f4keplastictr33s]

nobody talks about the fact that blue was in fact bullied for being a psychic’s daughter and i think that’s probably why she has this defense mecanism where she appears more tough than she actually is .. ? idk i just love blue sargent so much man and im sick when people dismiss her character or reduce her to the boys bc she’s so much MORE than that

[dionysism]

wanna go more in depth for your hatred about tsoa? is it really REALLY inaccurate? im start to get more into greek mythology and many recommended that book to me besides the obvious ones like the actual materials

(btw i love your posts mwa mwa stay hydrated)

sure! yes it is very inaccurate. let me just say though its been like 3 years since i read it and i'm currently out of state so i don't have it on me to skim through but perhaps one day i will reread it just to make a whole masterpost on everything i hate about it. maybe not tho because it was agonizing enough on the first read 💀

also let me put a trigger warning here i will be mentioning sexual assault in this post because it's in the book and i'll be referring to that scene

so i have a lot of issues with it let me try to organize my thoughts... her characterization is my main issue. just terrible. also i feel like her writing is like.... weird or unfitting sometimes. like theres a scene where patroclus (who is like... 11 or 12 at this point maybe younger) says achilles is "still plump with childhood" or something (again probably not the exact quote its been a minute but something similar) which is just not how 11 year olds talk about other 11 year olds? its supposed to be from patroclus' perspective and i just feel like when shes writing him as a kid he still sounds, thinks, and talks like a grown adult. sometimes he doesn't even sound like patroclus he just sounds like madeline miller.

which brings me to her characterization of patroclus in general. just fucking horrific was her inspo troy (2004)? she made him this medic twink who only heals and even when he finally does fight in achilles armor its like he gets kills on pure luck and you're supposed to be shocked. patroclus in the iliad is 1. older than achilles and 2. a great warrior! this is why achilles lets him don his armor in the first place because he KNOWS how good patroclus is on the battlefield. also patroclus has anger and rage of his own! he is not a smol uwu baby don't PISS ME OFF! his kill count crazy. idek where she got the medic thing from there's like one (1) scene in the iliad where patroclus helps an injured solider in the camp but he is most certainly not the medic of the greeks. he's dull in tsoa. he has hardly any personality outside his love for achilles.

next is her thetis. this, i think, enrages me more than anything else. thetis is a character of grief. thetis is a goddess who, for all her power, is ultimately unable to change the fate of her son. she may be a little overbearing at times, but NOTHING like how she is in tsoa. madeline miller makes her a homophobic (?) helicopter abusive mother (i say ? on the homophobia because im not sure if it was homophobia or if she just hated patroclus specifically. if it was homophobia the stupidity of making an ancient greek god homophobic speaks for itself) thetis doesn't even hate patroclus in the iliad, in fact, thetis is the one who preserves his body and keeps it fresh and prevents it from rotting while achilles waits for his new armor and then goes out to fight hector. she tells achilles he could lay there for a year and she would keep him unchanged. in tsoa, she forces them apart, and tells achilles if he does not sleep with deidamia, she will never let him see patroclus again. this is insane to me. thetis would not set her son up for s/a and force him to sleep with someone against his will. and mind you this occurs after she's already stated clearly that thetis is a victim of rape herself. i assume this is madeline miller's way of asserting that achilles has no attraction to women while still being able to have his son in the plot later. this again, is stupid to me. if you want to argue achilles may have been gay, fine, homosexuality was complicated in ancient greece and you could potentially make the argument his sleeping with women was to uphold a reputation but i think it's more accurate that he was probably just attracted to both. however i think you can make him explicitly gay in a retelling without adding sexual assault to his story. i also find this especially distasteful because in actual antiquity achilles is the one committing sexual assault. (if i had a nickel for every time madeline miller made a character who canonically assaults someone else a victim of s/a while removing the fact they commit it themselves from the story i'd have 2 nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?) in general i find it very weird how madeline, on multiple occasions, demonizes a woman from mythology and makes her into a villain she simply is not. this y'alls "feminist retelling" author? oh okay.. i guess! (her deidama is an antagonist in this too, as a hysterical jealous Other Woman)

i also felt she imposed too many modern standards/heteronormativity onto achilles and patroclus' relationship. like i said with patroclus, making him the weak defenseless healer and achilles the badass warrior. very much giving one is strong and masculine and the other is nurturing and feminine. changing the aspects of their other relationships so its like they've only ever loved eachother and no else which isn't necessary. achilles and patroclus could (and do, in the iliad) sleep with other people and it would not diminish how intense and true their love for each other is!!

over all she sanitized the story, flattened it and butchered all the characters with a sprinkle of fetishization and misogyny on top. the book is frankly boring and underdeveloped too. this is honestly not as in depth of a review as i would like to give but like i said i don't have access to the book at the moment so i just stuck to the core grievances i remember having

(also thank you, you stay hydrated too!! <3)

[rikardtoenterprise]

yAURRRR thanks 4 tagging me @pacificsaury (sorry i took so long to respond)

3 ships you like: RIKARD RIKARD RIKARD (riker/picard). I know im kinda quiet about rikard rn but best believe that I started this blog bc of these 2 old men. Quodo (Quark/Odo) i love these 2 divorced men who get on each others nerves but love each other deep down. Hear me out, but Qcard (Q/ Picard). I think you can see a trend in the dynamic I like. Also Qcard and Rikard are not mutually exclusive ok. Throuple strong.

Honorable mention: Not trek related but Jennifer/Needy from Jennifer's Body. I know people say toxic yuri and codependency but like idk. my girls. they mean so much to me. This is a couple I will live and die by.

First ship ever: God I don't remember shipping anyone in my childhood but. I think Katniss/Peeta from the Hunger Games series??? I think there was a lot of hoo haa with the team gale team peeta thing but I was always a team Peeta girlie. Breadboy letsfukingooooo.

Last song you heard: New Perspective by P!ATD. It's bringing back a bit of my Jennifer's Body brainrot. The whole soundtrack for that movie is a banger btw. But the last song I've heard may also be Using You by Mars Argo (but the original version from her Bandcamp). Titanic sinclair can suck it.

Favourite childhood book: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Still highly recommend it to anyone who wants to read. As a kid I never really read a lot of the popular books kids my age were reading but somehow my parents managed to pirate the whole Unfortunate Events series on the family IPad = happy times reading all 13 books.

Currently reading: I was in the middle of rereading the Lockwood and Co. series (just rereading from book 3 onwards). If anyone hasn't read it PLEASE go and read it I love them so much. I will probably reread it again just because. It has ghosts, slowburn romance, London, and fun snarky characters. Idk why it hasn't blown up more ngl.

Currently watching: Of course, Deep Space 9 (dinnertime entertainment with my family), and then, surprisingly, Boys Over Flowers (the korean version). It's actually so hilariously cringe and confusing at the same time that it's a riot to watch. Though I wish I could have finished Goong/Princess Hours before BOF because I stopped halfway in 2022 and it hasn't gone on Netflix so booooo...

Currently consuming: nothing, but the aftertaste of the chewable Vitamin C I finished 5 mins ago still lingers

Currently craving: Sleep and more Farleigh Start fanfiction (i'm in the midst of a saltburn phase)

I don't really know who would want to be tagged in this so I'm opening it to the floor too! Go crazy! Go wild!

9 people to get to know better (tag game)

Omg hii tagged by @cloudlesbian :]

3 ships you like: oh goodness uhh I haven't been super into ships recently but I like forthur (h2g2) and bence (the ship name I made up for my own OCs lmao) and I can't think of any others that I'm into currently

Honorable mention: spirk because I feel like I haven't watched enough TOS to be a true spirk fan

First ship ever: flashbacks to when I was scrolling ineffable husbands fanart on fuckign google images when I was 15. Before then MAYBE forthur bc I definitely thought they had something nonheteronormative happening before I started using the internet but idk if that counts. WAIT maybe Joan and Sherlock from Elementary (but I didn't actually want them to get together romantically I just liked their queerplatonic vibes)

Last song you heard: Shadows by Nick Lutsko (as recommended to me by my roommate) (I liked it)

Favorite childhood book: the May Bird and the Ever After series by Jodi Lynn Anderson, also Through The Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There by Lewis Carroll

Currently reading: The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde but I STILL haven't picked it up in over two months I'm so sorry

Currently watching: Columbo!!!!!!!!! and also rewatching 1670 in the original Polish for um reasons

Currently consuming: air

Currently craving: water (dehydration strikes again)

Tagging 9 people from recent activity! No pressure if you don't want to answer

@theygotlost @fordprefectsleftshoe @andietries @volcanicflowers @romeoisalesbian @v0gonpoet @somebodytolove31 @ragdolls-and-such @thepointlessmasterpiece

[baragakiscans]

Firstly, sorry for losing the post to your ask! Tumblr shitty UI stuff happened and I accidentally deleted the draft TvT (they should make an option for asks to reappear if the draft answer got deleted or sth smh)

Secondly, IM SO SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG POST AAAAA

I tried to keep the explanations short like I did for Saraba (even that was pretty long) but then the more I tried the longer it became, and in the end what was supposed to be my take on like 2 pages of this book became this extremely long in-depth analysis of the entire book  _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_  But I mean, I’ve agonised over the translations for this book for almost half a year and I have Lots of Feelings about it because GOD I LOVE THIS BOOK

Anyway, Makkura is another one of those books with a lot of hidden layers that can be unpacked from the story with multiple rereads. Unlike Saraba where some things were intentionally left open to interpretation (I think), though, this book is slightly more straightforward, and I’d like to offer my take on the story.

Long post and Makkura spoilers below the cut!

At the beginning of the story, Gintoki and Hijikata were already dating (secretly-but-not-so-secretly). They’ve clearly been dating for a while now; Hijikata coming over to Gintoki’s place to stay the night (though he’d usually be gone by morning), mayonnaise in the Yorozuya fridge, etc… Though their displays of affection were rather subdued, to the onlooker (and everyone else around them) these two idiots were so obviously crazy in love with each other 💕💕 However, there is something that seems a little… off about their relationship, and this something would have continued lurking in the shadows…

The beginning of the end…?

…Had Gintoki not lost all of his memories of his relationship with Hijikata. Gone was the man who would become agitated at the mere thought of his beloved going into danger; the man before Hijikata now barely knew him, and the thought of dating the Demon Vice Commander would never have crossed his mind.

Imagine waking up to find out that your boyfriend has forgotten all about his relationship with you and makes THIS face at the mere thought of shacking up with you

What Hijikata did next may seem illogical at first (and don’t get me wrong, it really is), but it makes a bit more sense once you realise what exactly was off about their relationship.

You see, Hijikata didn’t think that he was good enough for Gintoki.

If you’re familiar with Syaku’s works, you may have noticed a particular trope being rather common: Hijikata and/or Gintoki falling in love with the other, yet not taking the step forward because they were afraid of getting in the way of the other’s creed—to protect.

Looks familiar? ;)

In Makkura, they did manage to take that step forward (regardless of who made that step first), but even so, there’s always been a niggling doubt somewhere in the back of Hijikata’s mind that maybe—just maybe—Gintoki would be better off without him. Hijikata would do everything in his power to protect the Shinsengumi, and he knows that Gintoki would do the same to protect those he holds dear. It just didn’t occur to him that he was one of them, too. Instead, he was afraid of Gintoki straying from his path because of him.

Gintoki losing his memories was like a wake-up call to Hijikata, that his relationship with Gintoki was too good to be true—and if it will all come to an end eventually anyway, then he should be the one to pull the plug first, especially since the perfect opportunity to reset everything to a clean state has presented itself. He pretended that nothing happened between the two of them. He told Gintoki to “Forget about all this. Everything.” He tried to convince himself that he should make a clean break and completely remove himself from Gintoki’s life, and be content with merely watching from afar.

Maybe Hijikata thought that since he and Gintoki never confirmed their relationship, the people around them will just shrug it off, or won’t notice the change in behaviour. But needless to say, everyone around them immediately noticed that something was wrong. And they even had Hijikata’s inner thoughts all figured out.

The Shinsengumi members know their vice commander too well XD

Even Gintoki himself had managed to put two and two together, but he just couldn’t figure out why he fell in love with the man with whom he always fights like cats and dogs. And since Hijikata himself was so adamant on nothing happening, all he could do was watch as the man-who-is-apparently-his-lover-but-he-somehow-forgot told him to stay out of his way. That’s why, it’s up to everyone else to restore Gintoki’s memories and get these two idiots back together.

While the Yorozuya kids were scrambling to find the antidote, Hijikata opted to go down the slippery slope of self-abandonment by meeting the pervert Bakufu official despite knowing full well what might happen to him. He thought it was all for the sake of the Shinsengumi, but seeing Gintoki down the hallway jolted him back to his senses and made him realise just how wrong he was. He realised the reason why he was actually doing this—to see if Gintoki would come to his aid, to see if Gintoki was still the man he knows and love. He realised that he doesn’t want to give his body to anyone anymore—anyone else, that is. He realised just how truly madly deeply in love he was with Gintoki.

What indeed…

By the time he realised this, though, it already seemed too late; it didn’t seem like Gintoki was going to save him. So, he resolved to keep his memories of Gintoki as a happy dream, and was ready to succumb to despair—when Gintoki finally comes to the rescue! (Not sure if Yamazaki didn’t press the button on purpose here) Of course, Gintoki was pissed off that Hijikata would do something this reckless. So he told Hijikata, “You should treasure yourself more…” (BTW, the original Japanese really only had “You should _______ more…”, I had to fill in the blanks) That’s when Hijikata realised that he was right all along; Gintoki hasn’t changed, even without Hijikata’s memories. And that’s all he needed to know.

And over in this exhibit we have the exact moment when Gintoki fell in love all over again

Right when Gintoki was about to profess his love say something to Hijikata, the kids finally arrive with the antidote! And Sougo even figured out that Gintoki doesn’t really need the antidote anymore since he’s in back in love with Hijikata XD But of course Gintoki wants to remember. Of course he wants to remember all about his time together with the man he now knows he loves. He drinks the antidote—

Ohhhh boy shit’s about to go DOWN

—And we arrive at the emotional climax of the story. Gintoki’s furious—Of course he would be; his lover just tried to erase himself from his life, thinking that it was for his sake! Gintoki thought that Hijikata had underestimated him—in a way, he’s right; Hijikata had underestimated just how much Gintoki needs him. He knew that Gintoki loves him, but he also thought that Gintoki should forsake him for the sake of those he wants to protect.

That’s why Gintoki let Hijikata know just how much he means to him. He has already come to know all of him, so he can’t ever bring himself to let him go. That’s when Hijikata started to realise that he was wrong about Gintoki, and wrong about himself. He meant much more to Gintoki than he ever thought he did.

This led to the one exchange that I wrote out this entire analysis for—

Did I really write 1800 words just for this? Yes. Yes I did.

If Hijikata really meant so much to him, then does that mean Gintoki would have tried to erase himself from Hijikata’s world for his sake, too? Gintoki doesn’t think so, but that’s after everything that has happened so far. Who’s to say he wouldn’t do it if their positions really were reversed at the beginning of the story? They both know that, because they both hold on so dearly to the same beliefs, the same pride.

That led to Gintoki throwing the question back at Hijikata—does that mean Hijikata would fall in love with Gintoki again even without his memories, just like Gintoki did? In asking this, Gintoki was telling Hijikata that, even if he were to do the same, deep down, he would still want Hijikata to fall in love with him again. And that’s when Hijikata realised—it was the same for him, too.

At that point, the two of them came to the same conclusion—neither of them can live without the other anymore. Yet, even if their positions were reversed, they would still have done the same. And even if that were to happen, they would still arrive at this same conclusion. They both love the other too much to let go; yet, they both love the other so much that they’d be willing to let go. Now that they both know this, their bond has become truly unbreakable.

Hijikata’s reply was therefore an affirmation—

“Even so, you’d have done the same. Even so, I’ll still fall in love with you.”

That’s just the way both of them are.

And so, at the end of the story, we now have Gintoki who wants Hijikata to know just how much he loves him (maybe becoming more possessive in the process?), and Hijikata who now knows just how much Gintoki loves him, and has come to forgive himself for loving him. Their relationship is one full of contradictions, yet no matter what happens, they will both find their way back to the place where they belong—in (or should I say on?) each other’s arms.

Look at the how much love there is in Hijikata’s eyes just LOOK AT IT AAAAA

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Makkura is one of my top Ginhiji doujins of all time! I really really hope that my translation managed to do it justice, and I hope my ramblings were coherent enough TvT 

If you’ve managed to read this far, do give Makkura a reread and you just might see it in a different light ;) Of course, my interpretation might be different from what Syaku intended to present, so feel free to come up with your own interpretations as well!

Also, halfway through writing this I found an analysis by @mugimarumaru over in the MRM comments section, so do check it out as well :>

Thank you for coming to my TED talk and hope you have a nice day~

(I wish I’d put in this much effort in my college essays)

- JJ

(P.S. The REAL question here: if their roles were reversed would that make it a Hijigin book 🤔🤔🤔)

[oikawa13]

love in the time of köttbullar

Shouyou sets the bowl on the tiny table with a flourish and an itadakimasu! and this is when it hits Atsumu harder than a Skurup to the temple:He wants this. Shouyou, hip cocked against the miniature kitchen countertop, smiling shyly up at Atsumu through the amber fan of his lashes, beautiful god-boy-man somehow glowing gold even under the buzzy LED lighting. Though they’re standing in a 430,000 square foot warehouse in Tsurumachi, Atsumu’s looking at Shouyou, and he’s home.

Amid the Flärdfull and the Smörboll, Miya Atsumu falls a little more in love.

words: 3,378 | rating: T

i’ve never been inside an ikea so this fic quite literally changed me as a person. sometimes loving a person is as scary as saying that first i love you!!!! and sometimes... love is easy as saying i love you at an ikea ; ;

LAUNCHING MERRILY DOWN THE PATH OF SIN (THE FIRST TIME)

"Bokuto said I should bring you home. But I don’t know where you live. So I took you here.”

“To hell?”

"No, Atsumu-san. To my apartment."

words: 1,990 | rating T

i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this fic and then go on ao3 to reread it again its just so fdjgfhdjf good. i think about this shoyo a lot. theres something!!!! very dreamy going on here. this is the first part to a series btw, you can read them all if you want since theyre probably all around 1k :-)

lord i no longer believe in anything but the way he holds my name between his teeth

The miracle of the rabbit on the moon.

“We took this photo at their seventh birthday party. His father baked a cake. But someone ate all the jellybeans off the top before they could even sing the birthday song. That’s why Atsumu cried. He used to cry a lot. It stopped when the twins found out about volleyball, but before that Atsumu would cry over everything. Spilled milk. A skinned knee. The neighbor’s dog. He was the twin that was scared of paper straws. It's funny how things have changed.

“He looks happier now. Did you do that?”

words: 10,456 | rating: T

so, this goes just a liiiiitle past 10k so its up to you if you want to read it or not, i just thought i’d include it since its so! close! lol theres this part!!!!! they are holding hands underneath the table!!!!!!!!! atsumu are you drunk?!!! no!!!!! hes just so stupidly in love with shoyo. i cant stand them!!!!!!!!!!!

wait for it, wait for it

The notifications are up at 100+ again and Hana wants to check it quickly to make sure nothing's wrong, especially because she'd just cleared them before the media scrum. The fans, she figured, must be overjoyed with the win.Congratulations MSBY Nation!!! the first reply reads. #myspiker #atsuhinaBoth tags, she finds, are currently trending in Japan.

Five times #atsuhina trended on volleyball Twitter and one time it should have (but luckily didn't), as told by the MSBY Black Jackals' junior publicist

words: 6,043 | rating: T

this fic is SOOOOO much fun!!!!!! also i love hana, idk if i ever mentioned that before but yeah. this is like... hdjkdhgjfd so much ; ; <3

south of an early summer

Warmth, then, was being wanted back. Two weeks later, Atsumu holds that warmth in by Shouyou’s waist; he watches it, how it sleeps, and wonders what the heat will become next.

words: 2,602 | rating T | tw: atsumu being atsumu about (past) kg/hn for a split second

IF i wasnt an absolute fool and gave you all these recommendations to pick and choose from id just send you this and the walking emoji bc honestly!!!!!!!!! i may not know what the heck romantic means but i see this and maybe it is romantic! maybe its not the average romantic idk?!!!! but i do know theres something beautiful here. love ?? ; ;

truths in two’s

Shouyou leaves for Brazil in two hours.

words: 8,300 | rating: T

LDR.... but like, in probably one of the easiest 2 breathe/good feeling fic for ldr!!!! idk im a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ten reasons to break up with me: a love letter

1. It has to be you, ‘cause I won’t.

words: 4,197 | rating: T

pls....... i cant even THINK about this fic without crying okay!!!!!!!! insane. fuckign!!!! i love it so much, so much. it lives in my heart. this is the fic where i was like... i dont believe in love. yes i do. no<3 YES!!!!!!!! and cried and paced my room and finally FINALLY!!!!!! stopped feeling so hurt about hinata leaving for brazil again lmao!! like, i cant explain. this sounds crazy right???? anyway, i think... atsuhina can love each other so much it hurts when theyre apart but their love is so.... i mean......... they literally waited years to play together... so......... their love keeps them going..... GOODBYE!!!! i love listening to fka twigs cellophane & home with you and just..... being insane. 

just can’t help myself

Five times Hinata takes care of Atsumu, and one time Atsumu returns the favor.

words: 5,025 | rating: T

*think about atshn taking care of each other* *cries*

blue crush

And there’s a promise there, sewn into the easy curve of his lips: I’m not going anywhere, Atsumu-san. Glittering eyes that cut through the rain-blurry dark like a beacon when Shouyou turns back to look up at him. Even if you fuck up all of our dates.

Murphy’s Law as demonstrated by Miya Atsumu.

words: 2,297 | rating: T

atsumu trying very hard to have things perfect and romantic and even in the failures its still very lovely<3

If I’m Icarus, You Must be the Sun (Allow me Three Mistakes)

He wonders if Icarus felt like nothing was wrong with self-destructing, because he had reveled in the sun, if only for a little while.

Atsumu finds, loving Hinata is the same.

Atsumu's love over the years, and the mistakes that accompany it.

words: 4,620 | rating: T

i am...very weak to the whole icarus/sun thing with hinata and his ships. this one though......... i think about it A lot.

in your eyes, i see our future

“Yer’ a real sweetheart, Hinata Shouyou.”

Shouyou smiles brilliantly. “Only for you~”

He scoots over so Shouyou can sit next to him. He can smell the pineapple body wash Shouyou is so fond of the moment he sits down. Shouyou passes the tray over carefully before settling against the headboard comfortably.

“What’s the occasion?"

(Or, Atsumu just really wants to marry Shouyou.)

words: 9,769 | rating: T

fhdsjjkjfdsj goes crazy stupid over marriage!!!!! listen... i do not believe in marriage!!!!! but for atsuhina, oh you bet i do!!!! :-)

breathing a hello

There’s no significance to them ending up here except that both of their lives are held in the sway of volleyball. Everything else comes second.That’s the crux of it, really.

words: 2,826 | rating: T

gjhfsjkfd shhhhhhhhh. my heart is very soft when i think of them here, please..... just!!!! pls.

if you’re out there in the cold, i’ll cover you in moonlight

My [23M] best friend and ex-boyfriend [23M] is visiting me for a week, and my current boyfriend [24M] who agreed to all of this is suddenly withdrawing from me. Can I get some advice? Please? Anyone?

words: 8335 | rating: T | chapters: 3 | tw: past kg/hn 😳

this one is optional since you wanted one shots and theres 3 chapters here. my idea of romantic is...well, i especially love when one of them is acting hurtful/mean/difficult to the other bc their own personal issues but the other loves them anyway??? and then they work on that issue!!! just!!!!! ; ;

Love in the Time of Insomnia

And anyway Hinata was sprinting out faithfully after Atsumu, who had keys to the gym like a badass, and who was going to give his spikers a few more tosses after-hours without Meian knowing like the greatest, most generous badass the Jackals had ever seen. 

words: 2,457 | rating: G

running four kilometers just so atsumu can rest. this is what romantic means!!!! hdkshjfhdj

ode to what you’d have been

5 times it’s Kageyama’s fault and the 1 time Hinata realizes it has never been.

words: 3,628 | rating: G

loving someone including their flaws PART 2!!!!!! ok.... u might be like... um... this is romantic? hfdkhjfd LISTEN!!!! to me!!! there is nothing more romantic than being in love with someone and the ugly parts of them. going, i love you, all of you. and communication!!! and understanding!!! and feeling terrible and shitty and horrible but having the one you love accept you. and trying to help ease your mind, worries. *sobs real hard* also shout out 2 ‘okaaayy.... i hate sakusa now’

a shrine for a  boy

Despite his uncertainty about how to tell Atsumu of his move to São Paulo, Hinata takes action. Things do not go according to plan.

words: 2,447 | rating: G

hinatas time 2 be romantic and fail but its ok bc!!!!!!!!!! :-) they are just dummies in love<3

the greatest distance between you and longing is defeat

(In other words: Atsumu, let go. I’m here now.)

words: 3,310 | rating: G

um... *cries* post break up.... o_o!!!! god they really thought they could????? lmao!!!!!!

the tear in this (our gentle language)

“I’m going back to Brazil.”

He isn’t asking for permission. This isn’t a consultation. Hinata Shouyou informs his boyfriend at their after-practice practice. Miya Atsumu has a volleyball in each arm, trying to pick up a third. It drops and rolls away from him. The thud resounding in an empty gymnasium.

Shouyou had tried to envision Atsumu’s reaction many times. He never expected to be met with silence.

Alternatively: an exploration of Hinata Shouyou’s return to Brazil

words: 7,204 | rating: M

ldr CAN be romantic ok!!!!!!!! it takes a lot of communication, time, and love ; ;

evening sun

Atsumu looks at Shouyou and thinks, I want to know every inch of you.

words: 1,502 rating: M

[daisymylove]

Dont worry, I totally get your points.So much to unpack here, you actually brought up what I wanted to talk to you about, but I'll get to that later.

Regarding Jessa's grief: EXACTLY. While I do get that your dead kids hit different than a dead husband, and they May not want to talk about it often (thats why tessa leaves in the epilogue fir starters), the tone was still disproportional. What you said about the difference between spoilers and a deviating canon sums it up beautifully.

Of course James sitting Down with his parents off page in the future and telling them about the gun is within the realm of possibility, but such a big deal being made out of it, when Jessa seeing it never even featured in the book is odd.

Why am I saying all this? I'm gonna sound like a full blown crazy conspiracy theorist now, brace yourself

I dont completely buy the "everybody fucking died but the herondale is the only other idea I've had besides this final version" talk

I actually find that version even worse tbh.It really doesn't make sense since the tid kids feature in the epilogue,and wessa is said to have had a happy life despite the hardships of the job, so its good she booted it.BUT there was a huge build up of "That generation was very sheltered, and the dire things they faced changed them for good" for chot as we know it to have been her plan all along, and that doesnt mean that everybody has to die.Can't help but to think there was a different version way more concrete than a fleeting idea during her creative process, call me a pretzel.

I too think tsc peaked in tid, precisely because of the bittersweet beauty of it, and if you think about it, the only person that died was jessamine.I've been a bookworm since childhood, and yet that was one of the few stories up to now to really touch me on a visceral level.I was about 13 when I read it for the first time, and good god I was a wreck by the end of it, even my mom said she had never seen me like that over a book

Ironically enough, years later, when I had forgotten almost everything about it and my main take away was that "Oh I know that I loved that as a kid, but I was a kid, its probably not that good" and decided to do a reread for the fun of it, i ended up just as touched.

I loved, loved, loved tlh up until Chot.Its a different relationship than the one I have with tid, but in many ways its still my second favourite.Where I'm getting with this, why do you think Choi was a step down from Chog? I'm genuinely curious cause,as far as middle books in trilogies go, I really liked it and wouldn't say the quality declined from the first.Not to say it doesn't have flaws, I will always make a point of hating the love triangle and matthew being used as the other suitor, but my frustrated expectations are how many aspects presented in it were left unexplored by the end. For real tho, just cordelia partially invading a hell dimention with no conceivable explanation to yell at that silver little bitch to hand back her man, and that all the 6ft of deliciousness that made James herondale were hers made my fucking day when I read it

About the fae, or the folk of the air winks ( no i refuse to ignore it, im sleep deprived and set on being cringe ) now that I think about it, he did say wild magic.Its gotta have to do with the scabbard then.Elias said it was fae made and had protection spells on it, still doesn't explain the mantaining the casket concealed tho, I may have to reread, the details are fuzzing over the edges.Hated that Cordelia buried it btw, it was very useful and a good thing to remember her dad by, I see it as a plot device for kit to get it, but hey

About the beautiful cordelia, maybe it was just one copy that was abandoned at the devil (but one does wonder how that ended up there in the first place), instead of the whole project getting ditched.When Cordelia married, lucie got her a fancy, leather bound copy, and while I dont remember that exact detail now, I think the one Jemma found was a simple manuscript.The installments Lucie sent Cordelia over the years most likely were copies too, so it doesn't seem a too wild guess.

I actually do like the idea of writing remaining a hobby for Lucie tho, she is first and foremost a shadowhunter and adds bittersweetness to it. Cordelia did say in Chog that Lucie worried the writing would come to nothing since she had a duty as shadowhunter, but considering how disney like the ending was, its unlikely

It bummes me out that never came a moment for lucie to choose between love and war, duty and desire god i sound like jane austen and dostoevsky's novels had a child, send help, Her character, like Edmund and Cecy, had room for that,unlike James, who had always wanted to be a shadowhunter, or will that felt there was no other option when he made the decision. But this is minor, and a personal expectation, so I won't get into that.The thing is, Lucie isn't talked about, like ever.Tho most most characters aren't, and its usually more James and daisy, I think it has to do with not wanting to spoil that she ended up with Jesse.The information that the blackthorn descend from jesse given in los make it kinda obvious, but still

On a final note, girl your enthusiasm over GE makes me wanna read it.I know the premise of it and several aspects/plot points (hell I even have a loose idea of how it ends) but never actually read it

hold on...

It has just occurred to me that more tears were shed, for me, over each individual sobh post than the entirety of chain of thorns....

Hii darling.Sorry for the delay, haven't really been here in these past days.Actually I'd been meaning to send you an ask, what a coincidence lol

As per usual, you're correct.The sobh's installments were usually more impactful, wheter their theme was the impending conflict in twp, kitty's angsty or tlh.They made me concerned about what had happened in chot, and that energy of loss and regret we get from Jessa didn't match the actual book.Just the way Tessa was so horrified over the gun is overplayed to me.Neither she, nor Jem have actually seen James use it, like ever.I wouldn't be surprised if she even hadn't even known that the gun had been his, since when Kit gave it to him James was already living with Cordelia, and it was buried by the end of chot.As far as I remember, they never discussed the paladin business and how that gun could harm lilith with Wessa, so its not like she knows what it can do.Also round Tom said there was some powerful magic around the casket thst disguised it, but...how? Both gun and scabbard were lowkey special, but not enough for that, and they didn't do any spell.Matt saying he had lost the flask along the way, when it turned up to be hidden at the devil was odd.Dont know if she plans to get back to that in the future or if its just a plot whole.If they had decided to close up their quarters and end the devil tavern era for good when kit died, and there had been a scene of matt leaving the flask behind in a symbolic gesture, there would be tears, at least for me lol.But yeah, it was generally underwhelming, and I say this as someone who balls her eyes out crying at the cp2 epilogue every damn time I've read this series 3 times over the years and it ALWAYS gets to me