#matthias helvar drabble

[justanoasisimagines]

Not when I'm around

Summary; Matthias is smitten with you. However, your oblivious. It's funny how things work out sometimes... Pairing; Matthias Helvar x Female Reader WordCount; 530 Credit goes to @cafekitsune for the banner and the divider A/N - Requests are open! Feel free to drop an ask.

Matthias observed you as you interacted with customers. The way you seemed friendly and familiar to the frequent punters. The way you had them eating out of the palm of your hands. It was no wonder why Kaz had hired you. "Don't you have anything else better to do with your time?" Matthias smirked. He'd been busted, but who could blame him? Not when you were the most beautiful woman in the world. "No, why, have any better ideas?" You wiped a glass clean. Matthias enjoyed the mischievous grin slowly appearing on your face. "There are always ways to spend your time, but right now, I have to work. Gotta earn my keep somehow" With that you returned to attending to customers, with a spark and a spring in your step. Matthias sat back and watched in awe. The Crow Club was packed, as usual, all of the crows were dotted around the room. Kaz rested on the balcony, overseeing things. Matthias hadn't moved from his place at the bar, surveying the room, all the while keeping an eye on you. He knew you could handle yourself, but that didn't mean he wanted you to. Not while he was around. "When are you going to tell her?" Jesper questioned as he slapped him on the shoulder. Matthias turned to glance at him before his eyes instinctively found their way back to you. "I've been trying to. I thought I was being clear but perhaps not." Matthias took a sip of his drink. It was difficult to hear amongst the constant chatter, yet Matthias still found himself being able to spot your voice out. Matthias had never heard a more angelic sound. "Then you are not being clear enough. You need to keep trying because a little birdie tells me she is crazy about you" Matthias didn't want to believe Jesper's words, he didn't want to get his hopes up. Could you reciprocate his feelings? Only in his wildest fantasy perhaps. Suddenly Matthias watched a local drunk grab you. Within a second, he'd jumped from his chair towards you. No one would disrespect you, not as long as Matthias had breath in his body. Taking hold of the man's arms, he dragged the man away from you. Fire coursing through his veins. "You do not touch her." Matthias placed himself between yourself and the man. "What is your girl or somethin' I don't think so." Matthias grabbed the man by his shirt pulling him off his feet. "Don't let me see you in here again!" The main scrambled, tripping and stumbling. "I could have handled him you know" Matthias smirked as he glanced over his shoulder. This was the moment. Two slow steps Matthias took towards you before cupping your face within his hands. "I know, but you don't have to, not while I'm around." You leaned up and pressed a kiss on his stubble-covered cheek. Not missing the pink hue that rapidly dusted it. "Come, keep me company" With your hands entwined, the Crow Club returned to usual. However, high on the balcony Inez passed Jesper some coins. If only you two could have held out just a little longer.

[toopaletogotojail]

Telling the crows that they deserve better than who they're with: (assuming they'll react honestly, prob ooc)

Inej: *hung out with Nina more often* probably yeah, but I still love him

Nina: *knows her worth, also likes making Matthias panic* oh don't I know it

Wylan: I'm aware

Kaz, Matthias and Jesper simultaneously: No. No we do not

[ruins-and-rewritez]

DAY 3: POETRY

Wylan didn't mind hosting guests at the mansion, far better then the cold interior he'd become used to growing up. Guest rooms for each of his friends, should they feel like staying past the more reasonable hours of the day, which they often did (especially when someone had to much wine *cough* Nina *cough*)

On occasion he a Jesper would host an illierate street urchin or runaway, in his father's old bedroom nonetheless, just to stick it to the pathetic bastard.

His mother Marya had her own room, on the ground-level, adjacent to the solarium, where she'd spend time reading or painting or simply sitting peacefully gazing into the distance toward the ocean.

He and Jes, had comfortable none-master-bedroom, in the upper back corner of the house, where there had been a nursey once, before he'd grown up in to a father-disappointing member of the Merch Council and a part time demo expert.

Inej had a space in one of the fewer third floor allotments, where she could escape out the window if she so desired, or stay up into the wee hours feeding any birds scavenging the neighborhood.

Kaz hardly ever spent the night anywhere that wasn't his office, signing and loging and shuffling and flipping through paper work efore catching a scant few hours before dawn. But when he did he stayed across from Inej's room. Somehow taking comfort being near even in the event she was out at sea.

Nina and Matthias stayed as close to the kitchen as possible, to curb their healty appetites as well as appeasing their night-owl tendencies. Nina was particularly fond of cooking and eating minature breakfast platters late in the night. Matthias trailing along to brew a cup of tea while she bustled around.

The pair visited often, spliting their time between Ravka and Fjerda and Ketterdam, helping Grisha and changing minds of the more obstinately small mind people.

Nina made sure to always bring back sweaters or snacks or Jesper the latest fashion from Os Alta or Wylan some obscure chemical ingredient for his experiments.

This time it was a red-purple plant only found on the Ravkan-Shu Han border. He had high expectations for the explosions properties it was known for. (Kaz had a small operation planned within the next month that Wylan was determined to make go smoothly).

Wylan headed out back toward his lab, after a suitable lunch of plums and honey-bacon sandwich with avacado.

"Du kommer til en varm region

den er myk og disig

men da vil jeg ikke lenger være meg,

men skogen. " *¹

The distress in Mathhias' voice caused Wylan to pause in confusion, he thought he'd left with Nina and Jes for lunch at the reestablished Crow Club (to bother Kaz she'd explained over breakfast).

"Uhhhh you good Mat?" *² He asked stepping sideways into the open doorway.

"Dritt. Helvete."

Matthias continued his muttering, clearly frustrated with whatever he was reading off the paper in his hand, like Wylan had never spoken, ripping his hand roughly through his blond hair.

"Mat?"

Matthias looked up sharply, startled, at the young Hendricks standing innocently in the doorway, "Wylan?"

"Yes?"

The soldier in front of him never looked more embarassed, his face pinked up to his ears and he turned to hid it. "I thought were working."

"Stopped for lunch. Something wrong?"

The Fjerdan sighed and made a look of resignation before tiredly handing the scrap of paper over to the younger man.

"I was...practicing...for Nina."

Wylan took the paper long enough to make out the discernable scribble of foreign characters before handing it back. "Sooo what is it?"

Matthias redden even more as the realisation came over him that the words were A. in a foreign language Wylan didn't know and B. that Wylan couldn't read them even if the weren't.

"Faen. Sorry I forgot."

Wylan shrugged it off, it would be worse if his friends made a deal of remembering it. Forgetting was a blessing.

"I just...I'm nervous."

"Why?"

He took a moment to collect his thoughts before answering, "In Fjerda, there's always a courtship. What I have with Nina is..unconvential. I thought I might try to give her the experience of a normal courtship." He studies the paper in his hands almost timidly, "I wrote her a poem. I thought I might read it to her over our dinner before we leave again."

Wylan smiled, "Nina will love it I'm sure. She managed to fall in love with you while you both wanted to kill each other, I'm sure a poem good or bad won't damage what the two of you have."

Matthias seemed heartened at this before his face flushed again,"do you think you might listen to me practice? Help me get rid of the nerves?"

Wylan grinned and through himself into a plump armchair across from him. "Do your worst." He sat quiet and patience as the other man pushed his way through the words like a challenging task the he was intent on getting it perfect. When he finished he looked up expectantly.

"Well considering that I have know clue what the hell you just said I think its great."

~~~~

*1: The last stanza of the poem "Assimilation" (translated into Norwegian), by Finnish author Eeva-Liisa Manner I thought it was fitting of Matthias' character

"you will come to a warm region

it is soft and hazy

but then I will no longer be me,

but the forest."

*2: I think Matthias would have eventually grown comfortable enough with the rest of the Crows to except nicknames. Matty by Nina. Mat by Inej and Wylan. Jesper still calls him Matthias. Kaz ofc calls him Helvar.

I used modern Norwegian in place of Fjerdan as it is an incomplete fictional language,

Dritt: Shit

Helvete: Damn it

Faen: Fuck

[snowluvvie]

₊˚⊹♡ CHARACTERS.

thirsts, drabbles, etc etc—these r the people for it. my babies ( sexual ), my darlings ( violent ).

— DC UNIVERSE

₊˚⊹♡ CLARK KENT.

₊˚⊹♡ DICK GRAYSON.

₊˚⊹♡ BRUCE WAYNE.

₊˚⊹♡ ADRIAN CHASE.

— HOGWARTS

₊˚⊹♡ MATTHEO RIDDLE.

₊˚⊹♡ REGULUS BLACK.

₊˚⊹♡ SIRIUS BLACK.

₊˚⊹♡ CORMAC MCLAGGEN.

₊˚⊹♡ SEBASTIAN SALLOW.

₊˚⊹♡ HARRY POTTER.

— OUTER BANKS

₊˚⊹♡ RAFE CAMERON.

₊˚⊹♡ JJ MAYBANK.

₊˚⊹♡ SARAH CAMERON.

₊˚⊹♡ POPE HEYWARD.

— SUPERNATURAL

₊˚⊹♡ SAM WINCHESTER.

₊˚⊹♡ DEAN WINCHESTER.

— CELEBRITIES

₊˚⊹♡ DREW STARKEY.

₊˚⊹♡ JEON JUNGKOOK.

₊˚⊹♡ KIM TAEHYUNG.

₊˚⊹♡ JOSH HARTNETT.

₊˚⊹♡ ELIJAH HEWSON.

₊˚⊹♡ JARED PADALECKI.

₊˚⊹♡ TOM WELLING.

— THE WALKING DEAD

₊˚⊹♡ RICK GRIMES.

₊˚⊹♡ NEGAN SMITH.

₊˚⊹♡ CARL GRIMES.

— GRISHAVERSE

₊˚⊹♡ MATTHIAS HELVAR.

₊˚⊹♡ KAZ BREKKER.

— SALTBURN

₊˚⊹♡ FELIX CATTON.

₊˚⊹♡ FARLEIGH START.

— MISC. FILMS

₊˚⊹♡ PETER PARKER.

₊˚⊹♡ SCOTT MILLER. ( twisters )

₊˚⊹♡ PATRICK BATEMAN. ( american psycho )

₊˚⊹♡ COOPER ADAMS. ( trap )

₊˚⊹♡ ART DONALDSON. ( challengers )

₊˚⊹♡ RODRICK HEFFLEY. ( doawk )

₊˚⊹♡ JACK MERCER. ( four brothers )

₊˚⊹♡ WHISKEY. ( knives out )

₊˚⊹♡ DAVID MCCALL. ( fear )

— MISC. TV SHOWS

₊˚⊹♡ ERIC NORTHMAN. ( true blood )

₊˚⊹♡ KAI PARKER. ( vampire diaries )

₊˚⊹♡ SPENCER REID. ( criminal minds )

₊˚⊹♡ NATE ARCHIBALD ( gossip girl )

[munsonownsmyass]

Birthday and follower celebration

I just hit 550 followers, so that's amazing enough in itself (thanks to all of you lovely little beans that want to follow me ❤️), but I'm also turning 34 on the 3rd of February, so I wanted to make a little something 😁

And what better way to celebrate than with some games, asks and requests? The little celebration will run from today until February 12th. I hope you'll come celebrate with me. And feel free to send in as many asks/requests as you like 😁❤️

Fuck/Marry/Kill

Send me 3 characters and I'll tell you who I'd wanna fuck, marry and kill. If you'd rather switch kill our woth kiss, feel free to do so.

Would you rather

This one is kinda self explanatory 😆

Top 10

Want a top 10 of my favorite songs? Favorite blorbos? Or maybe food? Just send it in and I'll make a little top 10.

Moodboard

I might not be the greatest at making moodboards, but I love making them.

Hozier requests

I'm so lucky that I got Hozier tickets for my birthday. So I had this idea that you can send in a hozier song and a character, and I could make a little drabble.

Fic requests

I would love some requests. You want a continuation to something? Or want it from a different POV? Let me know.

Or you want something new? Please send an ask. I have some prompt lists here, but feel free to add your own idea, if you want something ❤️

Fluffy dialogue ◇ smutty one liners ◇ subtle love ◇ angry love confessions ◇ lovers in denial ◇ roommates to lovers ◇ late night talks ◇ more smutty one liners

Characters I write for: Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, Quinn McKenna, Ryan Yellowstone, Matthias Helvar, Billy Russo, Marcus Pike, Tristan Thorn, Joel Miller.

Characters I'd love to write for: Benny Miller, Will Miller, Frankie Morales, Mr. McCarthy, Zach Wellison, Terrence Swaino, Evan 'Buck' Buckley.

Or if you want to challenge me with something new, you can always ask 😉

Tagging some of the lovely people I've met here. Thank you to you all: @e-dubbc11 @itwasthereaminuteago @theradioactivespidergwen @chvoswxtch @murdock-and-the-sea @mattmurdocksscars @boliv-jenta @wardenparker @lucy-sky @sio-ina-bottle @yarrystyleeza @darlingshane @anna-hawk @jvanilly @k-marzolf @hellspart-timer @danzer8705 @chellestrash @scorpio-marionette @iobsessoverfictionalmen @feelmyskinonyourskin @writerwoed @misspearly1 @toomanystoriessolittletime @bunnelbie @absurdthirst

[sissytobitch10seconds]

What Am I Up To? (2/1/24)

Saturday: On Saturdays I upload one chapter in my fic called Empire of Dirt. (Summary: Kaz Brekker refused to take his father's name when his mother married, as well as the name of his husband. Wylan Van Eck wants to focus on his art despite his new marriage being more than he bargained for. Nina Zenik is fed up of carriages and pearls, but her new fiance obviously isn't. Matthias Helvar was expecting a pretty Russian princess and instead was given a woman that rocks his world. Jesper Fahey may be running from his own pain, but he can help others face it. Inej Ghafa wants her family and out of her cage.)

I upload oneshots on Wednesdays as I finish them. There won’t be a new oneshot every Wednesday, but if I finish a oneshot it will be uploaded on that day!

I now have a series called 'Of Drabbles and Late Night Thoughts' where I post fanfictions that are drabbles or character study type things that I don't want to waste on a whole upload day on. They're rambly and unedited but they get some ideas out of my head so I can focus on other works.

I’m also writing an Arcana fanfiction with my best friend. It’s called Luck of the Draw and gets updates whenever we feel like it. (Summary: Asra has some new magic that he wants to test, and his friends are more than willing to help him out.)

I am participating in Febuwhump! My series is called Unlucky Me and will feature a oneshot of varying length posted every day of February focusing on the Crows from Six of Crows having a Bad Time. Hope you brought some tissues!

[greenerteacups]

Fic Masterpost

Oh, boy. Okay. Here we go.

I have written literally hundreds of thousands of words of fic, and this is where you can find it! Consider this a kind of annotated bibliography.

Harry Potter

Lionheart

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger | 300,000 words and counting

How Draco Malfoy met a girl on a train, ruined his life, started a war, and ended one.

Notes: Oh, honey. This is my baby. The longest fic I've ever written, the currently running one, and the one I'm most fond of. A Gryffindor!Draco AU that retraces all 7 books. Slowburn Dramione (SLOW, slow burn, a simmer, currently more like a suntanning) with Golden Quartet vibes. I pre-write all the books and then release them in weekly updates, kinda like a serial publication, so you always know when your next hit is coming!

Volume I, "Green and Golden," composed of Years 1-3, finished early in 2023. It's currently releasing Volume II, "Son and Heir," which just finished the first act of Year 4.

/

The Climb

Harry Potter, Severus Snape & Harry Potter | 22,000 words

"...in the event that I, Lily Evans Potter, and my husband, James Potter, become deceased," read Albus, "I do hereby name Severus Snape as sole legal custodian of my son, Harry James Potter, until such a time as he comes of age." He folded his glasses on the table. "Fuck," said Severus, with feeling.

Notes: An unexpected brainworm that I had while compiling a Severus playlist for Lionheart, which rapidly spiraled out of control. It's a "Severus raises Harry" fic, which I never had a taste for until I started writing this — I realized there was so much more juice in the narrative idea than I'd realized. I like how I use voice and style here; I think I made a real leap in technique between SWHTWW and this one.

//

Other

the scenes which hold the waking world

Six of Crows, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik, Jesper Fahey/Wylan van Eck | 70,000 words

Thirty million dollars for a secret. That's the payout for Kaz Brekker, the most dangerous, ruthless, and talented extractor in the dream industry — if he can manage it. But to have a chance, he needs the best. That means finding a team willing to attempt the impossible: a knife-wielding cat burglar, a college dropout with perfect aim, a sullen ex-Navy SEAL, a drop-dead gorgeous former Soviet spy, and the estranged son of their rich employer. If they can avoid killing each other, they'll go down in history. If they can't, none of them may wake up again.

Notes: This was my first novel-length fic, and I'll always have a soft spot for it. It's an Inception AU with the vibes of Leverage meets Ocean's 11, with a side of psychological trouble and codependency. Read if you like spy movies, heist stories, or dangerous criminals whose Achilles heel is being unable to stop talking shit to each other.

/

someday we'll linger in the sun

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Namor of Talokan/Shuri | 40,000 words

As the legends have it, after she earned the blessings of Bast, the Princess Shuri took a god for a lover. The legends say less about what happened in between.

Notes: Another drabble that spiraled wildly out of control. (You may notice a theme.) I watched Black Panther over Christmas break and thought, "Wow, that's an incredible storyline that didn't actually happen, wish someone would write it." Technically unfinished, but I think the existing chapters serve as a complete story. Unfortunately, no plans to come back to this one; I might mark it as finished at some point, because it feels settled to me.

/

it's a western, henry

Dimension20: Fantasy High, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster | 10,000 words

Nobody fantasizes about kissing goblins in the moonlight, or taking them out on ice cream dates after class. Especially not beautiful half-elves on the bloodrush team, who could have anybody they wanted (and probably do). It's the beginning of a bad joke. A goblin and a half-elf walk into a tower... And the goblin ends up slain on the floor while the half-elf walks out with the princess.

Notes: My first fic, which started as a writing exercise. A character study in fantasy race relations and a love story between a nerd and a jock in which the jock is the anxious one. Working title for a while was "it's not easy being green," before I found the fancy Siken line. I still think there's some good humor in here, and I like rereading it from time to time.

[our-chaos]

Okay, so... we already established Matthias would be the softer one of him and Matt, but...

If it was just him and his s/o? I have a weak spot for a big, strong man who's soft with his s/o but dammit if I don't want that Fjerdan boy to ruin me.

Please give me your thoughts 😍

I’m exploding.

You’d have to warm him up to certain things, him being from where he’s from and all. He was always mild mannered, and in bed he was nothing but soft with you. Matthias never wants to do anything that would hurt you, so if you urged him to be more rough with you he might be hesitant. He’d give you a look that would make you giggle, one of confusion, and it would take everything in you not to kiss the dumbfounded expression off of his handsome face.

“You’re not going to hurt me, Matthias..” you’d assure, moving his large hand by the grip you had on his wrist to place his palm against your throat. He’d swallow, a fire forming in his stomach, his icy blue eyes shooting a glare right into your own eyes.

“You tell me to stop, I will stop.” He spoke sternly, like this were a life and death situation even though you’ve been practically begging him to have his way with you. You were lost in the timbre of his voice, the low tone that shot straight to your core.

“Understand?” He asked, his hold on your neck twitching the slightest bit, catching your attention. He’d have to keep from smirking at the way you blushed, how you nodded so compliantly in agreement.

By the time Matthias had given his all, you’d be a drooling, idiotic, fucked to a point of foolishness, incomprehensible, babbling mess. He’d have his hand around your pulse, restraining you still while he fucked you into the mattress. All you could do was gawk up at him, choking out unsteady praises and pleads of mercy. But Matthias wasn’t merciful tonight. No. You wanted this, and the big bad Fjerdan would do nothing until you got exactly what you wanted. Who was he to dissatisfy you? He wouldn’t dare, not when you looked like a gorgeous little whore accepting his cock like it were the only thing you knew.

He’d settle his lips right to your ear, the harsh pants and raw breaths emitting from that pretty mouth enough to carry you over the edge for your third orgasm of the night. He clamped your breath within his fist, just a bit tighter, and he knew you were listening from the way you squeaked at his harsh touch. Good, he wanted you to hear this.

“You asked for this, min trassel,” he taunted, “So take it.”

[swanimagines]

May I ask for Matthias Helver x fem!reader with the prompts B25 + B88 please? thank you so much!

Fandom: Shadow and Bone

B25. “You’re so warm…” “You’re so cold.” “Mmh, that’s why I like your warmth.” and B88. “I’ve tried to forbid myself from falling in love, but now I can’t help it.”

A/N: I hope you like it!

Word count: 478

The after-heist parties were always full of drunken people and loud noises, and this was even bigger party than most. The heist had taken well over nine hours and brought one hundred thousand kruge worth of treasures with it, making it the biggest heist in a long while.

"Is this taken?" your voice asked, making Matthias look up. You gestured the spot on the couch beside him. He shook his head, and you sighed in relief as you plopped down next to him.

He couldn't help staring at you when you made yourself comfortable on the couch. You were so beautiful.

"Saints, I'm so tired. I've been up since four at the morning," you moaned and rested your head against his shoulder. “You’re so warm…”

Matthias couldn't hold in a smile. “You’re so cold.”

You giggled. “Mmh, that’s why I like your warmth.”

After a moment, Matthias could feel you sleeping against his shoulder, and when he looked at your sleeping form, his feelings came by crashing like a wave again - his feelings for you. He swallowed, carefully pushing you to lie on the couch on your own before he left the Slat.

Nina saw him walking out and sensed her Fjerdan friend wasn't feeling okay, so she followed him. It didn't take long from her to catch up, grabbing Matthias's shoulder.

"What?" he grumbled and Nina sighed.

"What's the matter?"

Matthias thought for a moment, considering on lying but he ultimately decided to tell the truth. Nina would sense if he was lying anyway.

"It's Y/N," Matthias sighed. "I've tried to forbid myself from falling in love, but now I can't help it."

"Do you love her?" Nina asked. The Fjerdan clenched his jaw and looked away from Nina.

"I can't love her." he mumbled.

"Why not?" Nina questioned, but Matthias didn't answer. "Because she's an evil witch?"

He finally shook his head. "Because she'd be in danger with me. If my old friends ever found me and-"

"They won't find you. Why would they even come to Ketterdam?" she asked and Matthias frowned. "Go to her, big bad wolf. You deserve love and to be loved more than a lot of other people around here."

He knew Nina was telling the truth. There was little to no real reasons why his old friends would try to find him from Ketterdam of all places. But he was still afraid.

But on the other hand, you were a Crow too, and a valued one too. A healer among the Dregs was a necessity as Nina could only numb the pain but not actually mend the bones together and make wounds heal instantly. He knew he wouldn't be the only one to fight if you were to be killed.

Matthias took in a deep breath. Maybe he'd find happiness with you, something he had longed for so long...

[amchara]

Matthias and Nina (romantic) 👀

Prompt: Getting a pet 🐕🐈

No pressure darling! I'm glad you're writing since you enjoy it so much!! 🤍

Awww, Matthias and Nina! I haven't written for them before but I am so soft for this pairing. 🥺

--

Matthias buried his face in the softest, whitest fur. He loosened his grip as the pup whined at the back of her throat. A laugh emerged as she licked at his face, washing away traitorous tears escaping in his surprise at Nina’s gift. 

“She’s called Amia.” Nina knelt beside him, her face alight with a gentleness he hadn’t seen in weeks. Weeks she had spent nursing him, after she snatched him back from the jaws of death.  

Pulling her close, he hoped in the following kiss she understood his acceptance of her gift and the promise of a life together.

Ask me for a drabble!

[justanoasisimagines]

Shadow and Bone Masterlist

Matthias Helvar ❀Not when I'm around (Drabble) ❀Y/N (Love Letter)

Nikolai Lantsov ❀Behind Closed Doors (Drabble)

[ruins-and-rewritez]

DAY 6: HEART

The cobbled streets of Kerch's capitol city were quiet-ish in the earlier light of the dawn. Revelers from the previous night of activities on 5th howled and shouted drunken praise of some nonsense or other as they stumbled toward their lodgings. Messengers from other parts of the city scrambled quickly in between the few roving carriages in a weak attempt to trek the streets of the barrel before falling victim to any number of criminals.

Matthias walked unencumbered by such a fear. He didn't trust anyone in the vicinity as far as he could throw them, but being in the presence of Barrel royalty afford him some kind of security.

Matthias was not particulary fond of having breakfast (or any other meal for that matter) with Kaz Brekker, but Nina for unknown reasons actually seemed to like spending time with the bastard. Or, more specifically his "non"- girlfriend.

It was understandable, Matthias liked Inej in his own sort of quiet way. She was nothing like her silent, brooding conterpart, she for example, actually had morals and common sense.

The four them walked along slowly, with the sort of sluggishness that comes when you haven't drank you first cup of coffee yet. Brekker leading them to some hole-in-the-wall resturant that would allow the some sense of privacy.

That was the trouble associating with gang members, you couldn't go anywhere too high profile without some fraternity of spies hovering around you trying to plot your demise.

They rounded another corner, walked no more then ten feet before another sharp left into an alley ending in a sensible oak doorway.

Kaz opened the door and waited for the girls to enter before, pettily, in Matthias' opinion, he let go of it to walk in himself. Matthias let out a sigh making a grab for the edge of it before it swung closed.

It wasn't a large place by any means, the dining area could probably fit maybe twenty people. But it was clean and snug and the aromas drifting from the kitchen made his stomach rumble quietly.

A man approached asking about seating and whether or not anyone else would be joining them. Nina answered in that normal self assured manner of hers in a quirk that would have made him smile if wasn't so tired.

They were lead to a booth in the back, that Matthias appreciated because then at least if he fell asleep none of the other costumers (a whole three people) could judge him.

He scooted into the left side of the booth, Nina close behind, then he watched, weary, Inej and Kaz enter the other. Nina snuggled close to his side, resting her head lightly on his shoulder. He leaned in to supress his small smile against the crown of her head. This was something he would never quite grow use to.

Matthias made himself comfortable, reaching out for a glass of waiter had brought as soon as they'd seated themselves. He thanked Nina as she passed him the small breakfast menu and began browsing the choices.

Nina put down her menu almost as soon as she'd picked it up, as if she'd only been checking for something she'd already decided on, on the way there. Inej and Kaz took a few minutes, Kaz looking like he was calculating the pros and cons of each item against their worth in Kruge, Inej merely appearing as though she couldn't decide. Matthias let his flicker of the still strange Kerch alphabet before deciding it would just be easier to order the same as Nina. (He had a habit of losing his appetite around Brekker anyway)

The waiter returned taking their orders in a neat, measured tone before informing them of their call number that would alert them to the readiness of their meals that they could recieve at the counter in the front.

Kaz asked, surprisingly polite that a pot of coffee be brought to the table. The waiter nodded and scurried back to the kitchen to relay the request to the other staff members before hurrying back to seat a new pair of arrivals.

Matthias watched silently as Nina and Inej chatted quitely, exchanging adventures at sea and tiffs someone (Nina) had iniated in both Fjerda and Ravka. Then his eyes drifted to Brekker.

He'd barely spoken all morning, he rarely did until he'd had at least some caffine but he seemed unusually quiet today. Matthias saw the way the other man gazed toward Inej, he doubted anyone missed such a look, but it seemed to grow more longing each time he and Nina returned.

His attention broke at the calling of their number (7) from the counter, he moved to rise but Nina pushed him back down and pecked his cheek before getting up herself. She crooked a commanding finger at Kaz and stood unwithering under his glare until he got to his feet.

"Be right back."

Inej waited until they were positioned at the counter arguing with the kitchen staff about what he didn't know, to speak up.

"It's nice," he looked over at her, "the way you two are together."

Matthias felt his heart skip at the mention of him and Nina, he still didn't really believe it all wasn't a dream.

"It is." He felt hesitant before continuing, "You and Brekker could be that way. We all know how you feel about one another."

Inej followed his gaze to where Nina and Kaz had transitioned from arguing with the unfortunate members of the kitchen to argue with one another. They really did act like siblings sometimes.

"We...we aren't there yet. We still have some things to work on first. You shouldn't be with someone unless you're certain you're ready, and I don't know that I am...not yet."

Matthias nodded. He understood the hesitation between the two of them, both had lost much and they still had some healing to do first, but still.

"It must hurt to want but to know your better apart for now."

Inej gave him a weak grin, "yes but it is for the best."

"He will wait for you. I may not know him well but he will. His heart calls to yours."

The smile that graced her features was utterly authentic, "Sirds ir bulta. Tas prasa mērķi nolaisties patiesi. *1 As mine does to his."

The pair quieted as their friends approached, arms laden with food.

"How hard do you think it is to make a simple pot of coffee Kaz?"

"Bold words from someone who can't even make a glass of water."

"At least know how to make a glass of water."

The two of them continued bickering back and forth until Nina gave up so she could eat her breakfast. Kaz despite having won by forfeit seemed moody, but seemed much more content when Inej prodded him gently with a cup of coffee.

Though their intimate interactions were certainly limited each one felt weighted, a delicate tower of brick that had the potential to be inspiring.

Matthias couldn't help looking at Nina and feel at peace knowing he could rest easily knowing she held his own heart.

~~~~

*1 Latvian translation of the line "The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true." From Six of Crows

I wanted to use Romani but the internet wouldn't cooperate so I improvised

And for those you wondering where our two remaining Crows are out, they're at the Van Eck country house visting Alys and Wylan's little sister for the week

[writtenfangirl]

What’s in a Name?

Trigger Warnings: Graphic scenes containing blood, mentions of sexual assault (not graphic). The main character is a little bit unhinged and there are scenes that describe torture

Word Count: 4.5k

Another Kaz Brekker fic. Why? Cause I want to.

I need to find someone who’ll stare at me the way Kaz stares at Inej and I promise, I’ll stare at them the way Inej stares at Kaz.

She was known by a different name once upon a time. She knew as much.

Her one tether to her past was the memory of her name. A whispered sound she repeated over and over again like reverent prayer. No on else knew that name except for her and she preferred to keep it that way. If anyone discovered who she used to be, she would go from being the most feared assassin in Ketterdam to being a victim.

So she kept her head down and did the job, no matter how deplorable it was. There was a time when she didn’t have the luxury of choosing her next kill, a time when she had nothing but the clothes on her back and her wits about her. She would kill people with whatever she could come up with from stabbings to poisons to making their deaths look like suicides. There were even other times when she would frame other people for her crimes. She had done it so convincingly that the authorities would simply slap on a pair of handcuffs and march the poor man away without so much as trying to verify if the evidences were faked.

She was good at her job. Better than good even. And because of that, leaders of the various crime organizations in Ketterdam would seek her out. Gone were the days of her spying on their meetings and ambushing them begging for a job. This time, they came to her.

So, it wasn’t really a surprise to her to see Pekka Rollins in her apartment. What surprised her was who he places the hit on.

“You want me to kill, Kaz Brekker?” Y/N said with a raised eyebrow.

Pekka shrugged. He was seated in front of her with two of his men behind him as guards. “He’s becoming a problem. The Dregs are becoming too powerful.”

“But why Brekker? If you’re worried about competition, the Razorgulls are there and so are the Black Tips. And Per Haskell’s the leader of the Dregs.”

“You and I both know that’s not true. Per Haskell hasn’t been the leader of anything in a while.”

“I’m not doing it,” Y/N scoffed. She’s been asked to take hits on leaders of the various criminal organizations in Ketterdam before, usually by the corrupt government officials in Kerch who turn a blind eye on her trade, and Pekka Rollins has asked her to kill a lot of people before. But she has never had Pekka Rollins ask her to kill a fellow gang leader. Never like this.

“Since when did the Reaper say no to a job?” Pekka Rollins ground out, clearly irritated.

“Since you asked her to kill Dirtyhands. I don’t know if you’re aware, Pekka Rollins, but Kaz Brekker is dangerous.”

“He’s a thief. A Bastard of the Barrel. I’m its king. Do the job and I’ll reward you handsomely.”

“No amount of money—“

“500,000 kruge.”

Y/N swore. 500,000 was a lot of money. 500,000 kruge could even get her out of Ketterdam.

Pekka Rollins saw the greed in her eyes and knew he’s set his trap. “So you’ll do it?”

“I want half the money up front right now. The other half, I can get after the job.”

Pekka frowned almost like he would say no.

“Don’t act like I never operated this way, Rollins. I always asked for half up front. I don’t start until I get half the money.”

Pekka snapped his fingers and one of his men came forward with a bag of the money. He dropped the money in front of her.

“I want it done by the end of next week, Reaper,” Pekka Rollins said in a threatening tone.

At that, Y/N smirked. “Have I ever let you down? I’m the Reaper. When I have a hit, I never miss..”

Y/N slinked along the rooftops of the Slat. She had watched the Crow Club and the Slat for a whole week and well versed in the habits of the Dregs, most specifically, of Kaz’s inner crew, the Crows. Inej had the strange habit of staying on roofs as Y/N had come to learn. Fortunately, after a week of studying them, she’s found Inej’s pattern.

Around this time, Inej was in the Crow Club trying to temper Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker’s sharpshooter, from loosing too much money at the table.

She slipped inside Brekker’s office quietly, where she knew he would be alone.

She was silent on her feet and if she wanted, she could have slit his throat right then and there. He was standing in front of a wash basin cleaning his face. His usually pristine clothes had their sleeves rolled up to his elbow and his hair was unkempt. His walking stick was well within his reach, perched on the table that held the wash basin.

She watched him silently and she stepped forward, away from the shadows.

“If you’re going to kill me, I’m surprised you haven’t already done it,” Kaz said as a way of greeting when he noticed her behind him in the mirror.

“Then you know I’m not here to kill you,” Y/N said as she walked forward. “I’m here to strike a deal.”

“A deal,” Kaz repeated, looking at her through the mirror. “Why would the Reaper want to strike a deal with me. I’m a thief. Not a killer. I don’t want anyone dead.”

At that, Y/N almost giggled. “You and I both know that’s a lie. There’s one man you want dead in this world and lucky for you I want him dead too.”

Y/N prowled towards the table and chair and took a seat with a sweeping gesture. There was an elegance in her movement, almost like she imbued a dance with every motion of her body.

Kaz turned around and faced her, settling his hands against the table with the wash basin. He regarded her carefully watching her movements as she unsheathed one of the daggers in her leg and slowly cleaned it. The blade, strangely enough, was so clean, you could see your reflection off of it.

“I thought Pekka Rollins was your biggest financier. You’ve killed more people for him than everyone else in the Barrel combined.” Kaz said. His words were slow, clearly preconceived. It was obvious he didn’t want to offend her.

“And I want him dead more than you do, Brekker. You aren’t the only person who’s been slighted by him.”

“I heard he put a hit on me. How much?”

“500,000 kruge,” Y/N replied nonchalantly.

“I would have taken the money,” Kaz said. He stepped forward, unfurling his sleeves. He wore his pristine jacket that hung on one of the other chairs scattered around the room.

Y/N shrugged. “I’m not interested in money. I have clients from the Merchants Council who’d pay me millions for one hit, and they have. 500,000 kruge is a penny to me. What I want is Pekka Rollins’ head on a table and something tells me you already have a plan to take him down.”

Kaz considered her offer. He watched her carefully, his dark eyes trailing over her figure. At her dark clothing, the twin swords in her back and the knives that were hidden all over her body. “What’s in it for me?”

Y/N shrugged again. She had expected the question and was fully prepared to pay him to allow her to kill Pekka Rollins. “Name your price.”

“You.”

“Excuse me?” Y/N choked, her once casual tone slipping into surprise. She had expected money. She hadn’t expected, well, her.

“A contract. You work for me at the end of this.”

“As what? Hired muscle?”

“Hired whatever. One year. For a whole year, you work for me. I make you do whatever I want, no questions asked. In return, you’re in on my plan to take down Rollins.”

Y/N considered the offer. One year was an awfully long time. Her mother had told her the horrors of being indentured and though she doubted that Kaz Brekker would make her use her body in such a way, working for a man like him for a whole year was dangerous.

But she was getting desperate. She had spent her whole life planning her revenge and she wasn’t going to let herself get cold feet at the last minute.

“I get paid, Brekker,” she finally said after a moment of silence. “I don’t work for free. If another person hires me for a hit, I get to work for them too. I can’t only have you as my source of income, especially since I doubt you can afford me otherwise. The plan needs to be set in my motion by the end of the week.”

“And if I can’t deliver by the end of the week?” Kaz asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I guess I’ll have to kill you. I do have a reputation after all,” Y/N replied. Somehow, she knew that Kaz understood that she meant every word. She would kill Kaz if she had to and she would find someone else to take down Rollins.

Kaz stayed quiet. He watched her, his eyes raking over her every action. She had sheathed back her blade and had her full attention on the professional thief.

She would be lying to herself if she didn’t think that Kaz wasn’t handsome. With his intense dark eyes, high cheekbones, sharp features and suave sense of style, it would be a lie to state otherwise.

But he had a darkness about him, and that darkness was what drew her in. A darkness she could understand. He was around the same age as she was but his eyes had a soul that screamed of the many lives he had lived, of the many lives he had lost. He had suffered as she had, perhaps even more.

Finally, after a while, Kaz finally said, “It’s a deal.”

“Good,” Y/N said as she stood up from Kaz’s chair. She walked towards him slowly and reached for the gloves he had left on the table. She handed it to him, her palms facing upward to let him know that she meant no harm. “I want to let you know, Brekker, that I don’t care about his wealth. I don’t care if you take his power, his fortune, his gang. I don’t even care if you kill whatever sorry excuse of a family he has. But his life? That’s mine to take. If you or any of the Dregs get in the way of that, I won’t hesitate to kill.”

He took the gloves from her gingerly, careful not to touch even a fraction of her skin, confirming what Y/N had observed this past week. Kaz Brekker didn’t like being touched.

“You have yourself a deal, Reaper.”

And with that said, Y/N slinked towards Kaz’s window and left, leaving Kaz Brekker alone with his thoughts.

Y/N was impressed. The plan that Kaz Brekker had laid out for her was ingenious, really. She hadn’t realized how far along Kaz was in his plan for revenge and when she had heard the final piece of his grand design she marveled at its effectivity and its simplicity.

Kaz Brekker was a criminal mastermind. There was no other way around it.

He already had a hold of the Dime Lions as well as all of Pekka Rollins’s businesses in Barrel, including the Emerald Palace, albeit discreetly. The original plan was to see Pekka Rollins beg Kaz for forgiveness and ask him for even a fraction of the wealth he used to own so that he could go quietly into the night and never return.

But Kaz Brekker will have to settle with watching Pekka Rollins grovel for his life.

Y/N crept along the halls of Pekka Rollins’ home. It was well guarded, practically fortified, and it was filled with the people who were insane enough to stay loyal to only one man in the Barrel. Anyone worth their salt knew that loyalty could get you killed in a place like Ketterdam. Kaz had informed her that these were the men who stared stone faced at the money that Kaz had offered them and declined.

Because of that, she had no problem killing them.

She did it silently, quickly. A flick of her hand and the men fell unconscious. A knife to their throat finished the job.

She ended their lives without remorse. After years of doing her job, her guilt had been whittled down until it was but a sliver of its original form. At this point, she doubted she could even feel guilt.

By the time she was done, she had painted the walls of Pekka Rollins’ home red. Sprays of blood settled against the gaudy wallpaper, decorating it with splashes and spatters. Some morbid part of Y/N thought it looked better than Rollins’ original decor.

As she killed off the last man, this one guarding the door of Pekka Rollins’ office — the place where Kaz agreed they would have the confrontation — she could hear Kaz’s raspy voice from behind the opulent, wooden, double doors. “You’ve taken a lot from me. I thought I’d return the favor.”

“You think you can come in here like you own the place and take things from me?! You’re nothing but a bastard! I’m the King of the Barrel!” Pekka Rollins replied, his voice loud with indignation.

“You still don’t get it, do you, Jakob Hertzoon,” Kaz said with a dangerously low chuckle, his voice laced with satisfaction. He had told her his reason for revenge once, about Jordie, and she remembered the story, the sorrow and vengeance that had taken hold in Kaz’s very soul. He had told her in the hopes of finding her reason but she refused to say a word. “All will be revealed soon,” was her only cryptic replay

“There’s nothing left for you. Even this house is mine. You’ve lost.” Kaz reiterated.

“You think I’ll let someone like you take things from me? As long as I’m alive, you won’t have peace!” Pekka Rollins roared.

“Well then, it’s a good thing we’re taking your life too.”

And with that said, Y/N threw open the double doors and strode in with a confident stride. Her black stealth uniform was covered in blood and she could feel the blood on her face. She probably looked like a deranged lunatic, especially with the gleeful smile on her face.

Pekka Rollins’ well-lit office was huge, big enough to host a meeting of at least twenty people and still have room to spare. Kaz was standing in front of Pekka, quite a distance away, a table separating the two. The eyes of both gang leaders snapped towards her at the sound of the banging door.

“That was a wonderful introduction, thank you, Kazzie,” Y/N smirked as she walked towards her partner.

Kaz bristled at the nickname but nonetheless stayed quiet.

Pekka Rollins was looking at her with his mouth agape, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head, whether in shock or fury, Y/N couldn’t really say.

“You!” Pekka Rollins stuttered, pointing an accusatory finger her way. “I gave you 250,000 kruge to kill him!”

Y/N scoffed. “Do you know how much the merchant council has offered me to kill you? Five million kruge. You really think 250,000 has any effect on my coffers?”

“So that’s why you betrayed me? Money?!” Pekka Rollins demanded.

At that, Y/N stilled. Gone was the lofty arrogance, replaced by a seething anger that earned her the moniker the Reaper.

“You still don’t know who I am,” Y/N said her tone dangerously low.

“You’re the Reaper,” Pekka answered but he sounded unsure too.

“Let me give you name then,” Y/N stalked towards him until she stood right behind the table. She was so close, she could see every emotion that flitted through Pekka Rollins eyes. She leaned closer, as though she was about to share a secret, and whispered a name.

Her name.

The moment the last syllable left her lips, she leaned back to see the flash of recognition in Pekka Rollins’ eyes.

“That’s right, Pekka,” Y/N said, a vindicating, satisfied tone replacing her previous one as she walked backwards towards Kaz. “I’m your daughter.”

At the revelation, Kaz looked at her in surprise. His daughter?

“Do you remember my mother, Pekka?” Y/N sneered as Pekka Rollins’ face continued to blanched. “You bought her indenture and raped her almost every night and when she told you that she was pregnant, you called her a whore and threw her out on the streets with nothing but the clothes on her back. You told her to get rid of her baby and that she can’t come back if she didn’t. Do you remember?”

“I- She-“

“Don’t!” Y/N growled, her voice rising in anger as emotions swirled within her. “Don’t you dare try and justify what you did. Lucky for me, my mother decided to keep me. And lucky for me again, I wasn’t the only thing she kept. She kept a secret hidden from the world, did you know? She was Grisha. A Corporalnik and even luckier for me, I inherited her abilities.”

With that said, Y/N raised her hands and with a clench of her fist, Pekka Rollins’s lungs seized. His ruddy hands rushed to his throat, clutching it tightly in vain as he tried to willed his body to breathe. His face began to redden and bulging, purple vein swelled against his temple.

Y/N held her grip, watching him suffer. “You came to me over and over again these past few years. Every time you came through my door, I thought you would recognize me. See the resemblance I had with my mother, with you. But no. You stared at my face and didn’t see anything. You saw through me. It’s my fault, really. I was stupid enough to believe that underneath it all, you were secretly a good person but no. You’re the worst of them all.” Just as he was about to pass out, Y/N let go and air surged within his lungs again.

“I’m not going to kill you that way, Pekka,” Y/N cooed. “That’s too easy. My mother died of the plague while we were out on the streets. She died and you lived. You, a pathetic, no good, greedy, sorry excuse of a man. My mother was a saint and she died. I suffered because of you and I know I’m not the only person who suffered because of you. So, for the sake of my friend Kaz—“ she gestured towards Kaz, who was watching their whole exchange silently “— and for me, I’m going to return the favor.”

Y/N stalked towards him again, watching Pekka Rollins continue to gasp for air. “Losing the oxygen from your lungs will be the least painful thing you will experience tonight, I can promise you that and when I am done with you, you won’t be begging me for your life. You’ll be begging me for your death.”

“P-please,” Pekka gasped, clutching the soles of her blood-soaked shoes as he dropped to his knees. “I-I have a son. You have a brother. I’ll be a better f-father for him. Please!”

At that Y/N smirked. “My little brother? Don’t worry. Matthias Helvar, Kaz’s Drüskelle friend, is with him right now. He was more than happy to pay him a visit.”

She didn’t think it was possible for Pekka to pale anymore than he already was but she stood corrected. Horror caused his eyebrows to knit together and his mouth to open wide. Tears sprung from his eyes like an unexpected downpour.

“You didn’t,” He gasped.

She really didn’t. Saints know she would never hurt the child but he didn’t know that.

“I did,” she smirked, her tone gleeful. “Matthias is probably done by now. I even asked him to send my brother’s head in a box.”

Pekka’s eyes widened as he fell backwards and crawled away from her in horror.

“Matthias and I even discussed how he’ll play with my brother. Do you want to feel what he felt?” And before Pekka even answered, Y/N twisted her hand.

Pekka’s hand seized his chest as he felt his heart squeeze inside it.

“He carved my little brother’s heart out of his body. I’d use a knife on you but I figured ripping your heart out of your chest was a lot more painful.” Y/N smirked.

“Reaper,” Kaz said interrupting her, making her release her hold on Pekka’s heart.

Y/N sighed in irritation and looked at the Bastard of the Barrel. “What?”

“I’d love to stay and watch the show but I’ve got business to attend to. Crowning myself King of the Barrel and all that. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Y/N gave him a wave and even a genuine smile. “I’ll see you Monday, Kazzie. I promise not to be late.”

When Kaz Brekker left the room, the sounds of Pekka Rollins’ screams echoed around the house.

The day after, Pekka Rollins’ body was found in some alley in the Barrel. Or, at least, whatever was left of it.

No one could identify who owned the torso, especially when his hands, arms, legs, feet and even its head seemed to have been scattered in the winds. The authorities investigated but without any markings on the brutalized body, they couldn’t pin it on anyone. The torso was a mess of scar tissue as though its skin was filleted and then healed over and over again. Whoever the man was did not have a happy ending.

A week after, word got out that Pekka Rollins had signed away his fortune to Kaz Brekker, naming him his heir as he retired in some faraway estate to spend time with his son. No one questioned the move and everyone assumed that those loyal to Pekka Rollins had followed him to whatever backwater the man decided to retire too.

No one dared to question why the Reaper was seen hanging around Kaz Brekker or why she began taking orders for him. As far as the citizens of Ketterdam were concerned, they had no reason to wonder and if anyone had made the connection between Kaz, the Reaper, Pekka Rollins and the dismembered torso, they were smart enough not to come forward.

And so, perched on the slat’s roof, Y/N watched the bustling city. Her hair whipped against the cold, howling, eastern wind, her face illuminated by the city’s nightlife.

She use to be told that revenge was a stupid thing to pray for as it often left the other party unsatisfied, a hole in their heart where the anger once reigned.

Y/N has found that to be a lie because for once in her life, she felt a sense of contentment.

“I don’t know about you, Brekker,” Y/N said as a way of greeting when she felt Kaz’s heavy presence behind her, watching her from the shadows. “But I feel at peace. It’s funny. People use to tell me that there would be no peace in revenge. That peace can only be found in forgiveness and in praying to the Saints. They were lying. Somehow, I feel safer knowing that there’s one less awful person in the streets of Ketterdam. That Pekka Rollins won’t ever hurt anyone the way he hurt you and me.”

“I thought my tale of woe was awful,” Kaz said sardonically. “But I’d take a dead brother over a dead mother and having Pekka as my father any day.”

Y/N turned and gave him a wry smile. “Ironic, isn’t it?”

Half of Kaz’s face was illuminated by the city’s lights while shadows danced on the other. He was dressed in his usually suave, business savvy style, his hair styled and his cane held carefully between his fingers, the crow head reflecting her face distortedly.

He looked handsome, clean. He watched her carefully as she lifted her hand and pushed her whipping hair behind her ear.

Gone was the sultry confident girl that strolled into Pekka Rollins’s home and killed him. Instead standing before Kaz was a simple girl who once dreamed of a better life for herself and for her mother. A girl who thought that one day, she may, perhaps, even meet her father and show him what he was missing, the daughter he could have had.

But those dreams were broken and the illusion of a life well lived faded with her mother’s life.

“Thank you,” Y/N said into the ringing silence that had formed between them. “For your help.”

“I didn’t do it for you,” Kaz answered, his face devoid of emotion.

Y/N shrugged. “I know. You are Dirtyhands after all, the ruthless Kaz Brekker. I’m not stupid, I know I got the shorter end of the stick when it came to our deal but still. Thank you. You gave me one thing I couldn’t get for myself. Peace. That’s worth more than any amount of money in the world.”

The distance between them had closed and Y/N hadn’t even realize who walked towards who. His body emanated warmth that she welcomed against the chilly night air. His dark eyes scanned over her face, looking for any hint of insincerity but he found none. Every word that Y/N had said was true.

“Reaper-“

“Call me Y/N, please,” She whispered, interrupting him. “I don’t think I want to be the Reaper anymore.”

“Oh?”

“I took up the name Reaper because I didn’t want Pekka Rollins to find out who I was. The young, innocent girl that I was died with my mother. It was only fitting I take up a different name, a fearsome one. One that would make men quake in their boots to hear. Now that my mission is done and Pekka is dead, I think it’s time for me to say good bye to the Reaper.”

“So no more killing then?”

She shrugged. “Who knows? Killing is the only thing I’m good at and maybe while I’m on a job, I’ll still be the Reaper. But, if I’m going to be a part of the Dregs, I’d want them to know me differently. I’d want you to know me differently. So call me Y/N.”

Kaz stayed quiet, watching her silently. She liked those silent moments between them, she even savored it. Something about the quietness that she experienced with Kaz was different. Maybe it was because of their shared experience but being alone in Kaz’s presence was, strangely enough, comforting.

Just when she thought that Kaz wouldn’t answer her and she should probably step away from their closing distance, he took a heavy breath and said in a quiet, almost whisper-like voice. “My real name is Kaz Rietveld.”

She gave him a wide smile, a warmth spreading through her. She doubted a lot of people knew Kaz’s real name and she pressed the information close to her heart, a secret that she would never share, just like how she knew Kaz would never tell a soul about her heritage, about who her father really was.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kaz Rietveld,” She held out a hand between them. For another second, she worried that he wouldn’t take it due to his aversion to touch.

After another, quiet moment, he raised his gloved hand and said in his raspy, gravelly voice. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

[wylanvnneck]

“No Mourners,”

                           “No Funerals”

Happy Birthday @cupcakesandkittens! This is for you, I hope that you like this humble edit of a book that you and I both love and that you have a great day, thanks for being such an awesome mutual💕

[sissytobitch10seconds]

What am I up to? (12/2/23)

Saturday: On Saturdays I upload one chapter in my fic called Empire of Dirt. (Summary: Kaz Brekker refused to take his father's name when his mother married, as well as the name of his husband. Wylan Van Eck wants to focus on his art despite his new marriage being more than he bargained for. Nina Zenik is fed up of carriages and pearls, but her new fiance obviously isn't. Matthias Helvar was expecting a pretty Russian princess and instead was given a woman that rocks his world. Jesper Fahey may be running from his own pain, but he can help others face it. Inej Ghafa wants her family and out of her cage.)

I upload oneshots on Wednesdays as I finish them. There won’t be a new oneshot every Wednesday, but if I finish a oneshot it will be uploaded on that day!

I now have a series called 'Of Drabbles and Late Night Thoughts' where I post fanfictions that are drabbles or character study type things that I don't want to waste on a whole upload day on. They're rambly and unedited but they get some ideas out of my head so I can focus on other works.

I’m also writing an Arcana fanfiction with my best friend. It’s called Luck of the Draw and gets updates whenever we feel like it. (Summary: Asra has some new magic that he wants to test, and his friends are more than willing to help him out.)

[writewithurheart]

The Rest of the Crows Meet Milo

A/N: I got a bit of a plot bunny and this happened...you’re welcome. Have some more Milo the Goat <3

Read on AO3 or below the cut 

***

“Jesper...is that...a goat?” Wylan tilts his head at the animal Jesper has cradled in his arms. He’s whispering softly to the creature as he rocks it back and forth. 

He turns to Kaz for an explanation and Dirtyhands just looks incredibly put upon while Nina and Inej step forward to koo over the goat too. 

“Is this some barbarian ritual?” Matthias asks gruffly as he stares at them, clearly as lost as Wylan is by the new addition to their crew. 

Kaz sighs and pushes past them all to get to his desk, as if he wasn’t the one who stormed into the room and pushed the goat into Jesper’s arms as the sniper let out a joyful cry of “MILO!” 

Wylan is trying very hard not to be jealous of the goat. 

He’s mostly certain he succeeds. Jesper brings the goat over to him and, with more gravity than Wylan feels is owed to this situation, presents the goat to Wylan. “This is Milo. He is my son. He saved my life. He’s a brave goat and deserves all the cuddles because he is Milo.” 

Used to Jesper’s over the top drama, Wylan stares at the goat, feeling like he’s missed something somewhere along the way. Matthias beside him isn’t doing much better except he’s looking at Jesper like he’s lost his mind. 

Wylan reaches out a hand, tentatively to pet the goat and instead ends up with the goat in his arms. He stands paralyzed as the goat - Milo - tries to reorient himself in Wylan’s arms and he struggles not to let the goat slip through his arms. He ends up with Milo’s legs sprawled at odd angles as the goat bleats in a panic. This is why he could never be trusted with children. 

The rest of the room is chuckling at his misfortune and even Kaz looks mildly amused. 

“Here.” Jesper resituates Milo in Wylan’s arms. 

Milo settles down as Jesper continues to coo at him. Wylan is now close enough to hear him praising the goat and telling him what a good boy he is. 

“It’s a goat,” Matthias states, brows still furrowed in conclusion. Obviously he’s still too new to understand that you just have to roll with whatever happens. 

“His name is Milo,” Jesper says, his tone light but his glare menacing. 

“Jesper!” Kaz shouts, calling him back to the map laid out on Kaz’s desk. 

Wylan is petrified, too worried that any movement might unsettle Milo and cause him some grievous injury. That could happen to babies, right? Does the same hold true for goats? 

Matthias mutters in Fjerdan and then looks to Wylan. “I don’t get it.” 

He attempts a shrug with the goat in his arms. “It’s Milo.” 

“Who is a goat…” 

“And Jesper’s son,” Wylan repeats from the original introduction. He can see that Matthias is ever going to get there while stuck looking for logic so he just shrugs and attempts to mimic the swag Jesper had earlier. On one swing he catches Jesper’s eye and smiles nervously. Jesper grins. There’s heat in his eyes as he winks, and Wylan can feel his cheeks heat up. He looks back down at Milo and smiles at the goat. 

He guesses Milo isn’t so bad. He’s actually kind of cute. 

“I still don’t understand why we need a goat,” Matthais protests. 

Kaz sighs. “Well, I finally got Jesper an explosives expert. Now he can’t ask me for anything ever again.”